#Jfc I wish love was real

[artemisandhersilverbow]

This entire letter but also Roman C. Kitt… the man that you are.

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

I believe in luck. It is the sole explanation for the success of those we dislike.

Jean Cocteau

[skitskatdacat63]

“Constantia et fortitudine” - Emperor Sebastian I “der Sieghafte”

[nqueso-emergency]

Not the queen bee of the bestie boos saying that there should be no way that Buck and Tommy should still be in the getting to know you phase 6 months into dating here is the proof.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Ju2jKs/

I'm not even covering the link.

So, now the relationship was super serious and fast moving, her thoughts, so they shouldn't be getting to know each other??

These men have full-time fucking jobs. They aren't talking on the phone for 6 hours every night talking about their favorite fucking colors.

They're living their lives, together. This is why I wish the article would have said more about the "getting to know each other better" phrase.

1. When you live together, you learn new things about a person.

2. Both Tommy and Buck have very traumatic childhoods. To still be opening up about that to each other after 6 months is completely normal, especially with the abandonment issues they have.

3. There is no way that Tommy has opened up fully about his time in the military... that's a gradual thing.

4. Gerrard has been Buck's Captain for over half their relationship. I think it's fair that other things would come first. Such as being there for your loved one during his first real taste of bigotry at a job he loves.

Jfc. I really hate her.

[invisiblegarters]

Okay, okay.

After even more thinking maybe just maybe Ray's explosion on Sand was karmic retribution lol.

Because I've been thinking about it and.

Well.

This was not a heat of the moment plan for him. Not even a little. Dude had to get his drink (that poor server jfc what did she ever do to either of those messy bitches), go back to his mom, probably give her a ride home.

And then he still cold bloodedly broke his own phone (which let's be real for someone living like Sand does that is DEDICATION to his goal), then came in laying it on super thick about his mom to Nick so that he'd rush to fix it and lend him his. Sent himself the audio.

Then he called Ray up and invited him out to hang after blowing him off for who knows how long (and Ray clearly thought they were there to make up, okay, I might not be this ship's biggest supporter but even I could see that) just so he can use his feelings for Mew against him.

The conversation was so fucked, too. Sand immediately (and repeatedly I say again I'm not this ship's biggest supporter but one of them was actively trying here and it wasn't Sand) steering it away from Ray's attempts to talk about them to swerve to Mew is just...I love it. Complimenting Mew and saying he can totally see why everyone is in love with him? The way he played the audio right there (you are all so creepy for this my god will you please stop playing that clip at each other like the world's most fucked up game of telephone?). The casual drop that he knows how bad Top is because he also lost a lover to him (oh the parallels he deliberately put down there Sand you evil genius). And then rounding it up with "it's so great Mew has someone who cares about him as much as you."

All the while watching him to see how well his words were taking root. I'm floored because I genuinely thought he was gonna pull some stupid selfless bullshit like "I can't have you but I can give you what you want." Instead he just torpedoed several relationships and all it took was breaking a phone he knows his IT roommate will probably fix for free.

Boston fucking wishes.

It's so mean and I love it my dude is finally showing off just how fucked up he can be when crossed I think this is better than the baseball bat.

[genericpuff]

Hi from Australia!! Honestly I was trying to think of a cultural thing I could properly talk about (Given, I am both white and a dual citizen who moved here from another country as a child which I will admit skewed alot of my perceptions of things) and I settled for just a variety of things!! (I have only NOW noticed you asked for just 1 fact. Uh. Sorry D:) We mock our prime ministers (and other public officials to be fair). I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the fact someone started a rumour about our at the time PM Scott Morrison shitting himself in a McDonald's and he had to actually address it. SEVERAL TIMES. Wish we could have the claim that we threw a dildo at a politician, but that fame goes to Aotearoa, but we have thrown alot of boots and shoes.

(A very tangential note, but I must include it since we're talking about PM's, We had Harold Holt just completely vanish after going swimming in 1967- which came with alot of conspiracy theories with one of the more bizarre being that he apparently was a spy for the PRC and was whisked away in a submarine)

Outside of politics we do use an insane amount of slang terms (which. I think is at least widely known). Things are shortened, you add 'o' to things, words can get slung together- but also incredibly regional!! Bottlo- Bottle Shop, Maccas- McDonalds, 'Skanon- Going on, Thongs- Flip Flops, Togs- Swimsuit but was primarily used in primary school (Contentious!! I'm from Queensland but most states have wild names for swimsuits, I have heard someone call them Cozzies though??)! We also pull the 'Yeah, nah' and 'Nah, Yeah' thing

I grew up around Gumtrees, Eucalyptus and Paperbarks, which growing up my Ma always referred to widow makers. Have no idea if the tale she told me about them were anything outside of her, but its a good point to talk about folktales (if its even the right term for it asdfad).

With widow makers apparently a man fell asleep beneath one, the wind was blowing and a branch came down on him- leaving him with a widow. There's a focus on the bush, bush rangers, swagmen- the ones i were exposed to the most was Waltzing Matilda (a folk song telling the life and death of a swagman, ending the song with his ghost) and Ned Kelly (A real man whose become a legend, he was an outlaw and bank robber)

I say this all this genuine love for my country, but also that everything is incredibly white. The area I grew up in was not diverse, so the stories I've heard and what I've learned and seen IS coloured by that.

(For an added tidbit, I present a few cute birds for you to check out native to Australia, Crimson Rosella, Blue-Eyed/Faced Honeyeaters and Willie Wagtails my personal favourite)

more than one fact is absolutely allowed!! y'all understood the assignment and then some 😘

i stg y'all down there in Australia have some of the craziest shit going on, you got me wheezing at nearly 2 am in the morning reading about Scott Morrison, jfc LOL

also yesss I've heard SOME of these slang terms but not all, 'thongs' always makes people laugh in NA because as I'm sure you know that's a word that's typically used to describe sexy underwear LOL also not shocked at all that you also do the 'no yeah' 'yeah no' thing, iirc there are a lot of similarities to be found between Canada and Australia simply by virtue of "we both became independent from British rule and are now part of the commonwealth". But there are also a lot of massive differences because we're living in entirely different continents LOL

ALSO HELL YEAH MORE BIRDS AJAJFDKSLAFJASDKL <3

[atopvisenyashill]

can you rank the great houses? 😊

obviously this is just my opinion on them, etc etc also thank you for this ask i love lists alskjdfj

9. House Arryn

Constantly dying off but they had a lesbian and a milf as rulers once so they have that going for them. House Royce is cooler, GIVE ME MORE BRONZE YOHN I'M READY FOR HIM!!!!

8. House Lannister

I’m sorry but They Are Just Fine. When I’m reading their chapters I feel something and then I mostly forget about them after I'm done. I wish we had a real Dance era book mostly for Joanna and Tyland tho.

7. House Tyrell

I think it’s really funny that they are upjumped stewards and the whole Reach has been pissy about it for generations. Mostly exist for other characters to project onto but by god do they reflect back in fun ways. I want to meet Willas so bad but I’m positive if we meet him he’ll die soon after so rip me!!

6. House Targaryen

Interesting villain house that George gets too distracted by too often. Lots of fun historical characters, the cyclical doom is amazing to read but Dany’s chapters drag so bad to me at some points and F&B just pissed me AWF. The best ones are usually tied to her magic (prophecy chapters, fever/vision dream chapters) or her dragons in some way and the dragon bond is also what I tend to find most interesting in her ancestors as well.

5. House Greyjoy

I haven't reread Victarian in years but damn Aeron, Asha, and Theon are all as great as I remember so I'm making the decision to put them this high on memory alone. But this family is just a group of the most delusional people ever, struggling in a culture that doesn't allow room for struggle, and the way Euron acts as this black hole of terror for all of them, until finally, finally, there is Asha, not only knowing and understanding that the way she's lived is wrong but going home and dragging everyone else through the dark and into the light with her. Also, their culture is just really fun and cool.

4. House Baratheon

Started by my number two enemy, Orys Baratheon, but damn do I love basically everyone else in this stupid ass House. The House as a whole really plays with masculinity; what it is, the damage you do when you measure up to your role, the lengths they will go to in order to pretend the fault lies elsewhere, craving the pleasures but refusing to deal with the consequences, and all of that fallout landing on their innocent children, dooming them for the next generation as well. I need more Baratheon women tho jfc.

3. House Tully

I literally love that the Tully’s are in canon known as being huge bitter bitches. The most fucked up idea of what family is in the world but by god do these people try, they all try so hard to live up to those words but the price of duty and honor is always the sacrifice of their children for The Family, and not actual protection of their family, and while Hoster recognizes this far too late, his children become determined to do Every Single Thing Wrong in order to be loyal to both The Family and their family. Unpleasant people, I love them so much.

2. House Stark

Taught me what family is!!!! The whole series for them is an examination of the family unit under pressure and how their attempts to stick to their assigned roles (The Mother, The Father, The Heir, The Dutiful Daughter, etc) just makes them completely break under the stress so they discover what's under that - AND IT'S LOVE BITCH. I HATE the analysis that their stories are about rejecting love or overcoming emotion because it all comes back to that moment with Ned in the dungeons, remembering how he chose Lyanna, Jon, and love over honor, the way he chooses Sansa over honor, THAT is the point, for all of them, trying to keep these impossible oaths of honor and ignore love but in the end, the father they venerate chose love because it is not just okay to yearn for love, it is human and natural and good to love others.

1. House Nymeros Martell

LISTEN. WHO ELSE COULD IT BE.

If the Starks are a family desperately trying to find each other again, than the Martells have long been lost. A House defined in its modern day by the violating loss of one of its daughters in a society that doesn't put much worth in losing daughters. It's the themes of justice and vengeance, waiting on the system that is not meant to help you to bring you peace, on the people who are at the outskirts of society finding the line between the overthrow of power and keeping the cycle going, it's STANDING AS AN ACT OF LOVE. For Doran to his Arianne, for Oberyn to Elia in the face of Tywin, for Elia to her children in the face of the Mountain, for Meria and Nymor and Maron and Loreza and Nymeria and Mors, the point is not just to stand up and fight but to stand up and fight for something, to fight for the people who depend on you because there is no one else to do it. A responsibility, a calling, an honor, a horror.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

okay okay okay so i just watched the pbs great performances hamlet and it was. SO GOOD. oh my god. here are my many, many thoughts:

- the singing starting the show is fucking amazing

- the opening funeral scene and then the transition to the wedding goes so hard

- ophelia’s song having lines from hamlet’s letters to her .. …

- this polonius casting is GOD TIER like yeah. that’s what he looks like. that’s correct.

- i don’t like that they cut the opening ghost scene :/

- omg this horatio <33 i love him sm

- horatio’s black nail polish is everything to me

- ophelia is so hot oh my god

- i love a production that plays up the sibling dynamic between ophelia and laertes

- on that note, ophelia and laertes making fun of polonious is always so fun

- the modern aspects with masks and stuff are so interesting

- the ghost possessing hamlet???? oh my god i’m obsessed why have i never seen that done before

- the actor rolling his eyes back so that you only see the whites of his eyes while he’s possessed is so fucking cool

- i love productions that have hamlet cut his hand on his sword idk why i just do

- also horatio not even hesitating to cut his own hand? i’m insane

- ah fuck,,,, hamlet and horatio grasping each others bloody hands… horatio clasping hamlet’s hand with both his hands,, i’m unwell 😭

- gertrude and claudius being super horny for each other always makes me so uncomfortable

- these ros and guil costumes are great

- big fan of productions that make claudius be super charismatic it’s always such an interesting choice

- god this polonious is so good, he’s so fucking funny

- i love hamlet’s rings <3

- hamlet taking a selfie with the stacie abrams poster is crazy

- hamlet’s personalized handshakes with ros and guil are so cute

- it’s interesting that it’s fully set in america and that all the lines referencing denmark were cut out/changed

- i’m trying to figure out what hamlet was reading but i can’t and it’s driving me crazy 😩

- hamlet smacking polonious on the ass was crazy

- god i love a production that leans into the comedic aspects of this play,, it may be shakespeare’s most famous tragedy but it’s also funny as fuck sometimes

- the incorporation of singing/rapping throughout the show is so good

- also polonious as the one white guy in the room being like. ‘erm actually i don’t like the rapping 🤓☝️’ ,,, stfu man

- i need to know who wrote the lyrics for these songs bc they’re so good and they incorporate the original text so well

- fucking hell man,, his to be or not to be was amazing

- the “where’s your father” moment was so good

- oh my god horatio’s costume change,, the pink suit,,, i love him :’)

- i wish productions didn’t cut down the passions slave speech as much as they tend to do :/

- god ophelia’s dress is GORGEOUS

- polonious being the only one wearing a mask was wild but also so real (as someone who has often been the only person masked in a room)

- god this claudius is really good i appreciate the depth he brings to the role

- hmm interesting place for an intermission idk how i feel about this

- polonious in comfy clothing,, rest in peace peepaw 😭🫡

- polonious’ body lying on the bed during the entire closet scene is so fucked

- sometimes i wish i didn’t know this play so well so i could watch adaptions without noticing every single line they leave out,,,

- jfc,, hamlet wiping the blood off his knife onto the bedsheets,,,

- gertrude not hugging claudius back 👀

- claudius punching hamlet >:(

- idk how i feel about the decision to make ros and guil know about hamlet being sent to his death

- let’s be honest i’m mostly here for solea pfeiffer’s portrayal of ophelia’s madness

- the running makeup and the messy hair. YES.

- i hate that i have a certain melody to ophelia’s songs in my head so when i hear other versions with different melodies i’m like. hmm. incorrect.

- holy fuck she’s so incredible… the ophelia ever oh my god

- YESSSS INCLUSION OF THE HORATIO LETTER SCENE FUCK YEAH (i hate when adaptations don’t include this scene)

- horatio is reading the letter like omg pirates my boyfriend is so cool

- it’s always so funny to me that claudius and laertes make a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan for killing hamlet and it still backfires and kills them both (i mean it does also work to kill hamlet. but still.)

- the portrait of king hamlet watching the entire show goes so hard

- this gravedigger is so amazing i’m obsessed

- ugh 😭 the singers singing the same song at ophelia’s funeral as at the king’s 😩

- oh FUCK ophelia coming out at her funeral.. the watery lighting… i’m going insane

- horatio holding hamlet and comforting him :(

- laertes apparently being able to see the ghost of ophelia makes him as a narrative foil to hamlet all the more juicy

- the eat a crocodile line is always so random lmao

- aw fuck…. laertes singing really got me… :(

- oh my GOD this osric is so fucking funny

- lmao osric beefing with horatio

- horatio in the background of the fencing match cheering on hamlet <3

- claudius standing and rubbing gertrude’s shoulders knowing she’s about to die :( this isn’t fair i’m not allowed to be emo about them

- hamlet offering laertes the sword and then laertes stabbing him with it,,,

- gertrude’s realization of what happened right before she dies was so good

- claudius cutting his own hand on the sword was a powerful choice

- it’s always funny to me when productions completely cut out the fortinbras plotline

- horatio catching hamlet as he falls :(

- horatio singing to hamlet after he dies… i am so incredibly unwell 😭😭

- THE GHOST WAS VOICED BY SAMUEL L. JACKSON?!?? crazy.

overall, amazing production. i loved the musical elements. definitely my favorite ophelia and polonius i’ve seen, possibly my favorite laertes and claudius as well. the hamlet/horatio relationship wasn’t quite as prominent as i would’ve liked it to be, but it was still really great, and i enjoyed analyzing all the little moments they did have.

[itsclydebitches]

Title: Paved With Good Intentions

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Relationships: Very background Charlie/Vaggie. 99% Charlie and Alastor interactions (with added Razzle and Dazzle)

Word Count: 3,863

Summary:

“Why... hmm. Okay, real quick: what’s an old-timey way of saying someone is full of shit?”

Charlie blinked up at him innocently, probably overdoing it a tad, but after a week of hearing him disparage her dreams as “wacky nonsense” she couldn’t bring herself to care. Not too much, anyway.

“Why, I’d say the sod is full of hot air! A far classier image than the one you’ve just conjured.”

“Then you’re full of hot air, Alastor.” Charlie grinned.

Or: Charlie wants everyone to know that she didn't invite the Radio Demon into her home without precautions.

A/N: First Hazbin fic! Jfc Alastor may be one of the hardest characters I've ever written for. Nailing his voice is gonna take a while.

Fic also below the cut if you prefer to read here 👍

Many in Hell (okay, most in Hell) were under the impression that their Princess was a delusional simpleton, unable to understand something as straightforward as how her own domain worked. Her little interview hadn't helped matters, even if it did reassure them that she could at least throw a decent punch. Really, Charlie only cared about her reputation in as much as it might attract new patrons to the hotel. She didn't need her people to love her, she just needed them to be safe .

(She'd said that to Vaggie once who promptly broke into a choking laugh. “Charlie. You need everyone to love you. All the time . You're just lucky you're really fucking good at it.”)

If strangers cursed her out on the street, that was fine. If her first soon-to-be-redeemed soul thought this was a hilarious fuck-up with only free board making it palatable, that was also fine. If her own father laughed awkwardly at the mere idea of her success that was fine because Charlie could see the good underneath their caustic words; the fear and vulnerability buried beneath their dismissal. Criticism rolled off her back like magma on a fire-duck and if shouldering the disdain of her community was the price of seeing them saved, Charlie would gladly pay it.

...Although, she did wish her closest companions had a little more faith in her. Not about the hotel necessarily, but just that she had a functioning brain she put to use.

“Your... goats?” Alastor said, tipping his head to narrow eyes at them.

“Goat-dragons,” Charlie corrected, not sparing him a glance. “Mom made them when I was younger, to act as my bodyguards when she and Dad weren't around. You would not beeeliiieve how many assassination attempts there were when I was a kid. Dad even dyed my hair once to try and give me a low profile and that was—well! You don't need to see those pictures. The point is that I didn't just let you in all willy-nilly, heedless of my own safety, or whatever it is Vaggie's been saying. If you'd meant any real harm they would have torn you to shreds.”

Charlie was in the process of re-styling the seating area for a slumber party that night. Which throw pillow better conveyed emotional safety to share one's most intimate secrets past 3:00am? Blue or yellow? Pursing her lips, she bounced from foot-to-foot a couple times before chucking both against the growing mound. After a good fluffing she nodded. Both. Both was good.

When she turned, Alastor was staring.

He'd only been at the hotel about a week but Charlie had noticed that he did that a lot. It wasn't just the fixed smile that lent weight to his gaze; he didn't blink . Leaning against Husk's bar with that microphone tucked under one arm, Alastor looked so at ease that Charlie knew it was all an act—the real Alastor, tentacled and laughing maniacally, simmered just beneath the surface. She'd have felt threatened by it if not for the fact that, well, Razzle and Dazzle were here.

Charlie shot them a quick smile. They'd piled on the carpet together, a mess of limbs and horns. Snores and the occasional 'meep' emerged to fill the silence.

“Well now, stop the presses! Our little lady is just full of surprises.” Alastor's grin stretched even further, seeming to creak along its edge. His hands connected in a shattering clap. “We haven't known each other very long, my dear, so I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding—entirely forgivable, I assure you—but I thought you just implied that these lazy, miniature vermin are capable of besting me?”

“ Don't talk about them like that! ”

The words snapped out of Charlie before she could consider reigning them in. She even saw a little smoke wafting upwards, a sure sign that if she let those emotions stew any longer her true form would burst through. Fucking hell, Charlie, you're giving orders to the Radio Demon now? Oh Lord. It was never good when her thoughts starting sounding like Vaggie, but Charlie stifled a groan as she admitted that yeah, that probably wasn’t selling the whole 'Capable of handling tough situations without needlessly endangering herself' vibe she was going for.

Alastor just smiled though. It was hard to tell, but Charlie thought he might have been pleased with her temper. There was something in the way he leaned forward onto the tip of his staff; off balance to start a fight, but magnetically drawn into the fray. “Easy now, darling! I never took to baloney as a child—horrific excuse for a meat, truly—but I can recognize it when I hear it. So you care for these... creatures? Well off course you do! A sweet, silly thing like you is bound to get attached to all manner of beings. The delightful,” he dropped into a sweeping bow, “—and the drab.” Alastor's staff kicked outward at the end of the gesture, landing on Dazzle's back leg. The goat-dragon gave a sleepy grunt at the disturbance but otherwise didn't stir.

Really, Alastor had hardly touched him, but Charlie still felt the tip of one fang digging painfully into her bottom lip. She took a deep, fortifying breath to cleanse herself of negativity. She was just stressed about the new Extermination timeline. And the sleepover. And the fact that the Radio Demon was now living down the hall. Just the other day she’d chastised Angel for a barrage of angry texts he’d sent without thinking and now here Charlie was, nearly flying off the handle for similarly petty reasons. Razzle and Dazzle were fine. She was fine, and her people were going to be fine if she had anything to fucking say about it. Charlie summoned up a smile to match Alastor’s own.

“You’re right,” she said. “An Overlord like you didn’t exist back when Mom made them, so she couldn’t have foreseen how powerful you are. I mean yeah, you’d probably win... even if there are two of them. But!” Charlie hastened to add, waving her hands as Alastor’s head cracked sickeningly to the right, “The point is that these hypotheticals are silly. Why do you care so much about who’d win in a fight? You’re never going to fight them. You don’t want to hurt me.”

Alastor’s head, still staring at her from its unnatural angle, began to vibrate oddly while the chest beneath it hitched. It took Charlie a long moment to realize that he was laughing. Not his usual, staccato Ha, Ha, Ha , but something that felt more genuine, despite the fact that no body—not even a demon’s—should be moving like that.

“Ah, what an entertaining bunny you are,” he said, a slight wheeze mixing in with the radio static. “Charlie dearest, have you forgotten that I was a serial killer? Am currently a hunter of Overlords? A keeper of souls? Are you truly under the misguided belief that I wouldn’t hurt you?”

It was terrifying how fast he didn’t move. Charlie watched as Alastor took his time lengthening each limb—spine cracking, joints tearing until they were only held together by sickly, glowing threads—and the tentacles he summoned were lazy as a house cat, inching towards her like they knew it didn’t matter how fast she ran. They’d catch her. The static grew to a high-pitched whine that hurt her ears and the very reality around Alastor began to distort, glitching horribly. One elongated limb reached out with claws glinting in the newly darkened foyer, fingers twitching, itching to rip out her throat.

Charlie blinked. She pursed her lips, gesturing emphatically to Razzle and Dazzle who still lay snoring on the carpet. “Are you listening to me? They’d have ripped you to shreds if you meant any real harm .”

She could see the exact moment Alastor gave up the performance. He froze, the very air particles freezing with him, and a pin-print of light sprang back into his eyes.

“I beg your pardon?”

“It’s not—you can’t—” With a frustrated groan Charlie pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “It’d be easier to show you.”

She trotted through the bits of distorted reality (shivering because ugh ) and ducked under the long line of Alastor’s leg. His eyes tracked her as Charlie scooped a goat-dragon into each arm and nudged the hotel door open with her hip. Once outside, she slapped a drowsy Razzle onto her shoulder and cupped a hand over her mouth.

“Hello there!” she called to a passing demon.

“Who the fuck you yelling at? I’ll kill you, bitch!”

“Will you?” Charlie’s gaze slid to Alastor, now back in his everyday form, curiously peeking out from the doorway. “You know what? That sounds great! Really swell! Please come and kill me.”

The demon stopped in his tracks, staring incredulously up the hill at her fidgety form. “What? Fucking what ? You have a death wish?”

“Yes! Absolutely. Will you come kill me pretty, pretty please? Uh... you ugly, short-sighted asshole? Sorry, sorry sorry ,” Charlie muttered into Razzle’s fur.

“Oh, you’re a whole new level of crazy—”

The demon was adjusting his glasses with one claw and pulling out a clever with the other when Charlie felt Alastor’s energy at her back. She didn’t need to turn around again. The horror that descended on the demon’s face and his hasty exit said it all.

Razzle and Dazzle were now alert, tails thumbing, but neither made a move to go after the guy. Charlie released the breath she’d been holding and promised to write at least five Kindness Notes to leave around town tomorrow.

When she did finally look Alastor was twiddling his fingers at the demon’s retreating form. His eyes, however, were still latched onto Charlie.

“What an interesting way you have of entertaining yourself, my dear. I whole-heartedly approve! Let me take you out on the town—Cannibal Town, that is. You can offer your limbs to the first ravenous child we meet.”

Charlie cracked a smiled. “Uh... maybe later? I didn’t just do that for kicks, you know. The point is we’re living in Hell .” She ignored the way his eye twitched at the obvious statement. “Alastor, how many times a day do you think people threaten to kill me? Pull weapons? Or yes, try to eat me? If Razzle and Dazzle attacked everyone who simply appeared threatening I never would have opened the hotel because there wouldn't be anyone left to save. That guy? All bluster. I’m not sure how Mom did it, but they’re capable of sensing true intentions. They’ll only transform for someone with a real, sustained desire to kill me—or, I guess discorporate me—and the rest? The rest I can handle myself.”

“Hmm.”

Alastor bent forward, inspecting Dazzle closely. The goat-dragon panted happily in his face. “Fascinating! Powerful too, though I’d expect nothing less from the likes of Lilith. I must say, the confidence you hold in your own abilities is simply inspiring given what I’ve seen from you so far.”

Charlie blinked, trying to decide if she’d just been insulted or not.

“You remain delusional, darling,” he clarified, patting her head. Alastor’s grin widened at her scowl and he only pulled back when Razzle gave his fingers a quick lick, his static hissing like a cat. Charlie had the strong urge to chuck them both at the demon and let him suffer the fate of endless cuddles and sticky kisses.

She didn’t though. She was merciful.

“That’s why though,” Charlie said, shrugging so that Razzle had to dig his claws into her shoulder to stay balanced. Ow.

“Why what?”

Alastor had clearly lost the train of their conversation—or was pretending to—inspecting his own claws with the air of a bored Valley Girl.

“Why... hmm. Okay, real quick: what’s an old-timey way of saying someone is full of shit?”

Charlie blinked up at him innocently, probably overdoing it a tad, but after a week of hearing him disparage her dreams as “wacky nonsense” she couldn’t bring herself to care. Not too much, anyway.

Alastor’s eyes narrowed. Definitely suspicious, though not enough to deny her.

“Why, I’d say the sod is full of hot air! A far classier image than the one you’ve just conjured.”

“Then you’re full of hot air, Alastor.” Charlie grinned. “This whole shtick you’ve got going where you pretend like you’re just one insult away from killing us all; the super evil Overlord who could go on a rampage at the slightest whim? Yeah, I get why Vaggie is concerned, but that’s not gonna work on me.” She ran her hand gently through Dazzle’s hair, eliciting a purr. “You can toss out threats and transform all you want, but if you’d ever actually intended to hurt me, even just once... they’d have reacted. They’d have defended me, whether they could win against you or not. I didn’t let you stay because I was desperate for your help—although, ha, I kinda am. I let you stay because I trust you.”

The last was delivered softly and Charlie dared to lay a hand on his arm, oh so briefly. Alastor didn’t react. He appeared to be seeing something past her, the dials of his eyes ticking erratically.

The spell was broken when Razzle let out an explosive sneeze.

“Oh shit that reminds me! I need to pick up some almond butter for Sir Pentious. Apparently his human body was allergic to peanuts and he’s still pretty sensitive about it? And Angel made me swear I’d have peanut butter on hand for the s’mores if he was going to participate in the sleepover. I need to hit the shops before they close—can you get the other supplies ready while I’m gone? Thanks, Alastor, you’re a lifesaver!”

Charlie pelted down the hill with Razzle and Dazzle flying around her heels, both of them yipping at the prospect of a walk.

Alastor remained standing there for a long time after she’d gone. At a glance he looked the same as he always did, though if anyone had gotten close enough they would have caught the sound of a radio continually switching stations.

There appeared to be no connection between the clips. Except, perhaps, that each voice spoke in a tone of furious confusion.

***

The smell of popcorn and cheap booze was sickening.

Alastor’s grin never faltered—obviously—but there were small tears in the couch armrest that spoke of his disgust. In all his years alive and dead he’d never had the pleasure of attending a ‘slumber party’ before and the newfound honor was proving to be a dubious one. Sticky sweets, snacks, and spirits covered every available surface, thrown into truly unholy combinations as Husker passed his (admittedly substantial) limit. If they all hadn’t already been damned, Alastor suspected that making caramel popcorn whiskey floats would have done the trick. The other guests were decked out in their finest nightwear, resulting in them witnessing more of Angel than Alastor had ever wanted to see. Their sanguine Princess had led them through insipid card games, a pillow fight—which did not, apparently, allow for weapons or demonic beasts. Mores the pity—and worst of all: a production shown through that horrible picture box. If they craved entertainment he might have offered her the use of his radio, but...

Well.

In truth, nothing that had occurred here tonight had truly tested Alastor’s patience. If anything, this was merely a distilled version of their collective sins; hardly surprising. He had merely been...out of sorts since their little spat that afternoon. Though it was nothing Alastor couldn’t handle, of course.

(A block away six of Hell’s dictation speakers suddenly crackled to life, causing everyone in the vicinity to freeze, warily lifting their heads. Rather than the usual draconian drivel, however, a sustained, static-y growl began to sound.)

“They’re called Kindness Notes,” Charlie was saying, displaying her stack of colored paper like a trophy. “I got the idea from this awesome human website called Reddit that must just be filled with puppies and rainbows and—”

(”Think we should tell her?” whispered Cherri.

“Yeah, but only after she’s made a bunch,” Angel snickered.)

“—and so it’s the PERFECT activity for a redemption sleepover! Remember: there is no wrong way to go about a creative project, so have fun with it! I’ve got glitter gel pens and stickers—those are scratch and sniff!—and decorative hole punches and more stickers and ribbons and—”

“Stickers?” Husk asked, tipping his glass her way. Charlie nodded with the speed of a bobble-head doll.

“Exactly! Does anyone have any questions?”

“Yeah, I’ve got one.”

“Great!”

“How much sugar you had, kid?”

“Sooooo much!” and the stack would have gone flying if not for Vaggie’s quick reflexes.

“Alright, I’ll take it from here.” She dropped a quick kiss onto Charlie’s rosy cheek before distributing the paper. “You can write anything you want provided it’s nice . Like, actually nice and not your fucked up perception of nice. Don’t sign your name, but you can put a little HH at the bottom to help promote the hotel. Try not to get too many stains on these and yes, everyone has to participate.”

Vaggie stopped in front of the couch where Alastor sat, the only one still dressed and removed from the chaos of their snack-infested pillow nest. He hadn’t the slightest idea why she’d be glaring at him when she said that and he ensured the sentiment was conveyed through his grin.

“But of course!” he said, selecting red with a black pen.

“Humph. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Something nice? A truly daunting task, even for someone of his talents. After today Alastor was more convinced than ever that the Princess was the most insane of them all. Oh, it served his purposes deliciously that she should trust him, particularly with so little effort on his part, and yet it was insulting how naive she could be. Even if he’d had a conscious, Alastor was sure he’d have no qualms about upsetting the power dynamic of Hell and seizing it for himself. If this was their royalty... Hell deserved better. Someone with hunger. Someone with style. Their little bearcat was funneling her passion in all the wrong, most entertainingly stupid directions.

Alastor tilted his head as Charlie finished drawing a sunflower, Niffty flitting about as she swept up the glitter falling away. It looked... domestic .

Ah, but it would be so easy to slit her throat from this angle, spilling ‘paint’ all across the project. Or remove that pretty head from her shoulders, near instantaneously. Summon up his demon pet to crush her bones. Drop her into a void. Fill her mind with so many screams that her brain leaked out her ears in chunky rivers. Hollow her out and puppet her so convincingly that even their Dumb Dora wouldn’t recognize her. He could do it .

Beside Alastor, taking up their half of the couch, Razzle and Dazzle gazed upon the festivities with vacant expressions, tongues lolling.

One—he didn’t care to know which—turned its head and gave him a happy chirp.

(A block away the growl became an all-out screech, like a thousand souls blended together in agony.)

“I could do it,” Alastor whispered to them. He tilted his staff for good measure, ensuring the microphone pointed directly at Charlie. “I doubt your little ‘intentions’ magic is as powerful as she says. Even if it is, you beasts lack in imagination. Trust me, darlings: there are many ways to hurt someone that don’t threaten their physical safety.”

The second goat-dragon had joined in now, tilting its head curiously at Alastor. The first began thumping its tail against its companion’s face, pleased as punch, and suddenly Alastor felt a surge of genuine anger—the first in a long time.

“ She is only unharmed because I wish it ,” he hissed, “because she is more entertaining to me alive than dead!”

(The six speakers blew, showering citizens in shrapnel.)

“Alastor?”

He quickly blinked away the red light that had covered his eyes, turning his attention to Charlie.

“Apologies! Merely musing over what uplifting message I should grace the denizens of Hell with.” Alastor tapped a long claw against his chin, hamming it up. Only Vaggie was sober and de-caffeinated enough to catch on. The smile Charlie graced him with was... honest.

Violent images filled his head in response: of obliterating—or better yet—permanently stitching that smile into place. All the while those creatures sat beside him, both at perfect ease. One even edged closer.

He could do it. He would do it. The only reason Alastor hadn’t was because he didn’t want to do it yet .

But that day would come.

Dazzle sniffed the edge of Alastor’s sleeve. Razzle yawned.

Until then, their Princess was clearly in need of better protection. He’d assign a few shadows to her; sharp pieces of his silhouette who could tail the girl without notice. It would only require a bit of exertion on his part and the surveillance was worth it to ensure his favorite toy didn’t go dying before he had a chance to finish playing with her.

After all , Alastor thought, more at ease with that decision than he’d been all day, better the Devil you know.

“Do you know what you're writing?” Charlie asked, nearly having to shout over the commotion of an impromptu show-and-tell. Sugar and alcohol seemed to have loosened everyone’s dignity alongside their inhibition, because suddenly they all wanted praise for their absurd little notes. Generic messages of support were shoved under Charlie’s nose, led by Vaggie in a delightfully embarrassing display. Although, was it better or worse that Sir Pentious was equally desperate for Charlie’s approval? Angel slapped his note down on the table—complete with a diagram—and Alastor deliberately did not give it a closer look. (Husker’s spluttering was information enough, thank you.) Cherri was busy rolling hers into fuzes, muttering continuously about the message she’d send in the next turf war. Niffty had just written CLEAN in shaky letters across pages and pages and pages of notes.

All the while Charlie stared across the chaos at him. Imploring.

However could Alastor deny her?

“Oh, yes indeedy, my dear,” he said. “Patience—you’ll see it soon enough.” Alastor deliberately raised a hand, ensuring she saw, tracked, and understood when he laid in atop Razzle’s head. His hand was now large enough to crush the beast’s skull, claws poised to sink into vulnerable flesh, a dark ooze sizzling like acid that crept from a crack in his wrist, edging dangerously close.

Throughout it all, Razzle purred.

***

The next morning Charlie woke to find a red note taped to her bed, delivered by shadows. Dazzle was the first to find and drop it into his mistress’ lap, producing happy yips as he caught her expression.

“We’ll win him over,” Charlie said, grinning as she re-pinned the note to her mirror.

Alastor had given her just one word of encouragement, accompanied by a sketch of two dead goat-dragons:

SMILE

[ca-suffit]

my inbox got *so* quiet the last couple days but then I noticed something interesting.

almost everything was about sam or lestat again

then look at how virginia is posting now

and this

this side has always needed to pretend this is about something else so they don't have to talk about fandom racism. some of the asks I got might have been real but the timing of this feels sus. trying to get me to talk shit about sam but when I didn't post anything for days u decided to get the gossip rolling urself? that's what this is lol. faked outrage to stir the pot. u have to subtly aim at black fans again and also go deeper into ur weird parasocial sam reid feelings so u feel important and loved. wtf.

didn't u all send sam a fan art book and other stuff ur always being loud about cuz he mentioned having it in interviews a few times? don't u visit him on sets and tell him u luv him all the time (I've seen the posts lol). he's fucking with u so u will watch the show more and react just like this lol idiots.

the last fangs psa post also tried to pretend it was about this

the craziest thing about this tho is that after she was done aiming at the black and brown fans, she posts a big part about this white guy *with a lestat icon* but.............now it's about race??

isn't it weird how they can't keep to one story lol. it's all about hating lestat except for when u can't use that against a white lestat fan u wish would stfu so u pull the "I'm black" card instead and then reveal u have no friends lol.

this has never been about lestat or sam. it's an excuse because they don't have the range to speak about why lestat being judged for his ignorant white shit feels uncomfortable to them (especially if they want to fuck him, cuz I'm p sure fangs does). they get off power tripping on telling white fans it's okay to do racist shit if u hate the "right" ppl. her and keybearer are the first to do dumb shit to alienate themselves but blame everyone else for it. then cry to white fandom for hugs because they know how easy it is to get white ppl to feel good about shit if u stroke the fires of antiblackness in them. nobody is kicking u out of spaces unless ur doing some fuckshit but white ppl only hear "I'm black and ppl are being mean to me :(" and then rush to do the most racist shit ever because u just gave them a "good" excuse to do it. if a lot of black ppl are defending a white person who talks about antiblackness and ur the only black person saying that's wrong? u are the one who is the problem! especially because fangs and keybearer are both *not* american and nearly everyone from "this subset" is......and that is also the show's focus, that is louis' struggle! not to mention how fangs got upset about *this* in the cap but then had no issue pulling out talk of the fucking palestine genocide on a black american fan, to say that black americans don't suffer oppression. is this the real reason nobody likes ur bitch ass, mayhaps?

them being unable to let anyone know peace because of their own bad feelings is the most annoying thing. the show hits u over the head with the "memory is a monster" thing. we *know* we're gonna be seeing different versions of ppl and events and that's alot of what makes it interesting and fun. it's insane u keep pretending we're ignorant to this, as if u *also* haven't been crying for years now about "wait until lestat tells his side!!!!" we have fucking heard ur annoying asses jfc. WE KNOW.

but u have these ppl who can't hear a word against their fav without pulling out the books and showing u some sad lestat passage to change ur mind. girl shut up idc?? can't u let ppl like things as they come gd. what's the harm in enjoying the journey. u assholes are always saying ur so smart but then u have tantrums that the show isn't on book 12 already and ppl don't luv lestat enough yet. who tf cares? he's literally all the tags are whenever a 2 second clip shows up in any S2 thing rn, what are u even complaining about.

fucking crazy that this is louis' story but the focus is always on why isn't lestat getting more attention, why do ppl hate lestat, why is everyone mean to lestat. nobody frames it like that because then u'd v easily understand how stupid and racist this shit rly is. when u speak up in defense about any black character they literally accuse u of being the woke mob but ok lol. "did u listen to what jacob *a black man* said about the character being a crazy liar, sweetie??" (example 1, example 2) this shit is so obvious.

[watchyourdigits]

I think Deacon isn't romanceable because he knows far more about Sole than he lets on at any point in time.

Hear me out.

I am genuinely convinced he eventually puts two and two together regarding their son being Father and whatnot. There was an amazing video on this (I'll link if I can find it ), which extrapolates on this via what we know from the canon. Sure, it's a little bit beyond what IS canon, but I don't think any of it is a far leap from reality/possible by any stretch of the imagination.

As for why he wouldn't reveal this to Sole, Deacon's whole thing is kind of just... watching. He does intel/spying for the Railroad, duh. I think he holds the same morals as wildlife videographers when shooting wildlife documentaries. In a weird kind of way, of course. Besides, who is he to play God with his knowledge?

I don't think he's a believer in fate/destiny. I do, however, think he understands that if he were to intervene in such a huge manner, he'd utterly derail the entire momentum that Sole has going for them. Hell, who knows if they wouldn't just give up after learning all of that.

And that's IF Sole were to even believe a word that comes out of his mouth, which they have no reason to. He would definitely take that into account as well. AND It isn't logical for him to reveal/otherwise do anything with this information because who does it help?

On the other side of the coin, you have a man who possesses such in-depth knowledge of Sole before they even emerge from the vault (up to 4 years of research done beforehand, per the video I watched that compiled canon - WILL FIND, JUST REMIND ME). I don't think it's possible for him to be romanced because there's no way to write that without it being manipulative in one way or another, whether intentional or not. I wish I had better words to describe it, but there's something about that dynamic that doesn't sit right.

I wouldn't go so far as to say he's a stalker and THAT'S why it's bad, but there's something about having so much IMPACTFUL info about someone that they aren't aware of that makes them easy to take advantage of.

I LOVE Deacon, and I also wish he was romanceable because jfc I'm horribly down bad for that man and his sexy ginger eyebrows. And I don't think Bethesda even thought that much into it when deciding not to make him romanceable. Let's be real here, they do NOT get credit for that happy accident.

Anyway, this is a bit of mind-spew as to why I feel like it makes sense that he isn't romanceable. Have a nice day! :)

UPDATE: this is the video I was referring to

[imaginarianisms]

no bc i'm thinking about what rhaena would've thought about maegor's death & his burial place. wishing she would've slit his throat with blackfyre (which she perceived to be Her sword) while he was sleeping. she believed maegor's life was hers to claim (& not to mention she actually Did try to kill him on their wedding night) for him murdering aegon (although she believed aegon. technically brought that on himself) & then for torturing viserys to death & then him forcing her to marry him against her will & then assaulting her. multiple times. when she finally finds his burial place after commanding elinor costayne to tell her where he was buried, she completely desecrated his burial place, sobbing and weeping uncontrollably & finally letting the emotions that she'd hide deep within herself for so long for so many years. & like. given her horrific traumas suffered at the hands of maegor, her many flaws & problems & issues aren't. that surprising. her worst behavior only occurred After maegor died & the years of trauma & abuse turned her into a cold & bitter woman. like. jfc i wonder why lmao. it's definitely giving "hide me there under the leaves, nine going on eighteen, lay it on me / tell me a story about how it ends where you're still the good guy / i'll make pretend / 'cause i hate this story where happiness ends and dies with you / i thought good guys get to be happy / i'm not happy / i am poison in the water and unhappy / a little girl who needs her daddy real bad / in the corner of my birthday / you watched me dancing right there in the grass / i was too young to notice that some types of love could be bad / praying i'd be like you doing all of the things that you do and that scares me / i'm tired of you still tied to me (bleeding whenever you want) / too tired to move, too tired to leave [...] (it's just the way that you are) / i'm too tired of you, too tired to leave (i just wanna sleep) [...] (please, can i sleep, can i sleep?". & maegor's impact on rhaena & her trauma surrounding him abusing her lasted long after he died. its just. literally so heartbreaking honestly. rhaena would genuinely find it difficult to open up to Anyone about what she's experienced so when she finally meets elissa, she feels like she finally found someone who could be a companion that wouldn't leave her. then it. didn't turn out that way. opening up was extremely difficult for her to do so when elissa left her to sail the sunset sea she uh. quite literally never recovered from that. that was her last straw.

[explosionshark]

bri I literally rewatched the Ep were Buffy gets kicked out of the Big Brother House + they go to the Bronze and it’s SO much funnier than I even remembered jfc

The fact that even Faith is like “wait I literally don’t want to be in charge, I just think B needs to take a nap before we rush into a plan” but EVERYONE ELSE INCLUDING BUFFY’S FRIENDS ARE JUST LIKE “ABSOLUTELY NOT, WE WANT VIOLENCE” is HYSTERICAL. The only other person NOT on team “get this blonde OUTTA HERE” is Principal Wood, and that’s EXCLUSIVELY because Faith read him so hard after their 3 minute conversation that he was too horned up to speak the rest of the night (and frankly he’s right for that).

Speaking of King Wood btw, forgot that he basically says to Faith “Fuffy Real Yeah?” which leads to Faith shading him and him literally BATTING HIS EYES BASICALLY AT HER LIKE ‘noooo faith don’t come for my everything noooo omg (kicks feet)’.

S7 was trip. I’m still mad that those ex wives never kiss. They literally argue every 10 seconds & Buffy is STILL dealing w/ this tangible fear that Faith is gonna try to fuck her life up again. She literally can’t parse that Faith just wants to like, be there & be a part of things!!! Let my stupid brunette big brown eyed loser girlfailure just grab her and kiss her!!! Please!!!

The melatonin NEEDS to kick in I’m actually going insane sicko mode about this!!!

hi stag sorry this languished in my inbox for soooo long i am just easily distractable.

anyway god yeah i really wish there had been more time for buffy/faith interactions bc like. what we get is SO tantalizing.

i love how the dynamic kinda flips - buffy's got all this anger she's been holding onto and faith, in the meantime, has become kinda just stoic and sad and even more fuckable. some good gifsets have REALLY highlighted this but the contrast btwn s3/s4 faith goading buffy into violence and gleefully accepting her ass whoopings vs s7 faith. when she gets suckerpunched in dirty girls she takes it really gracefully. when buffy hits her again outside the bronze in empty spaces she looks SO disappointed and devastated. watching that dynamic untangle over more time would have been soooo satisfying.

i guess that's what fic is for. there are a bunch of good s7 ones out there anyway.

[vole-mon-amour]

3x12, Jamie edition, part 2.

Roy seeing Jamie and Keeley hugging, asking him out for a bear, letting Jamie fist bump him and suggesting he does this, being excited about spending time with Jamie. When early in the show Roy full on walked away from fist bumping and Jamie had to fist bump himself.

THE GROWTHHHH. I'm so happy for Jamie, honestly. I'm pretty sure Roy's posted was on Jamie's wall way before Keeley's one got there, so to be best friends with your childhood hero/crush... Good for you, Jamie. Good! for! you!

The different ways these two drink. I'm having Thoughts. Also, what are those dog tags, Jamie?

"Worth the wait." I'M HAVING THOUGHTS.

Fucking FINALLY. Tell him he's the best boy. Also, can't get over the looks Jamie always gives him. The never-ending puppy eyes with "Oh? Oh, for real? Ohhh my."

When will they finally kiss?

Older man, lmaoooo. Oh, Jamie. You wonderful, wonderful boy. The daddy kink can easily be a part of it.

Hey, you know how it looks like? "To you dying then." Look at them go.

Friendship? FRIENDSHIP? (stops myself from writing a fanfic right here and now) Oh, you are SO dating.

Roy, what are you, five? No, but for Real? Keeley deserves SO much better. He's insecure af, he tries to push Jamie away from her, he's crushing Jamie under this passive aggressive "She's mine, so don't even think about it."

If anything, if I were to choose from the inside of this triangle, it's Roy and Jamie for me. They WORK. It would fix so much if they kissed and explored each other's bodies. All that "All I need is Keeley & you stay away from here" would disappear.

However, if we're talking het ships (which I dislike but ok), it's Jamie and Keeley for me. I'd love Keeley with someone new. I'd LOVE to, with boys being together. But between Roy and Jamie. Jamie is SUCH a much bigger man than Roy. Jamie has done all the work since s1. No one held his hand, he's done all the work himself. He never ever hit on Keeley again despite all his love for her. He's been respectful of her wishes and never pushed himself on her or on Roy with "She's mine." If anything, he went with "I respect you and your relationship with Keeley" & stayed out of the way.

All Roy canonically does is pushing herself on her and on Jamie about her. Both Keeley and Jamie deserve better than an insecure man that can't get his head out of his ass. It's like one hookup, he went kind of normal, then he's back to his old ways again. Like???

I genuinely think you should have some gay sex. That would fix you a bit, Roy. I'm sure of it. Jfc. Is it me or is Roy incredibly weird this ep? What's with "She's a woman"??? What's that misogyny? You can't talk with a woman without thinking you're back on track to dating her? Keeley told you 'No" numerous of times.

Like, I'll tag it as anti Roy x Keeley, but I genuinely think shippers also should see it. Roy is regressing so fucking fast. You call this the man Keeley deserves? I don't fucking see it. "I don't want to be just friends." Well, she's not ready, why are you pushing so hard? Asshole.

See??? "I'm so insecure, but I'm pushing myself on her so hard, it's happening, we're getting back together, step aside!"

I want to beat Roy with a stick. Like, at actual tree stick, with leaves and all, so he'd understood what he's doing, that idiot.

Anyway, Jamie is such a sweet boy, immediately asking if they're official or not. He gets it.

You tell him, Jamie. Does this change anything for me in terms Roy x Jamie? No. Lol. But omg, I am still so anti Roy x Keeley, you guys. He should learn how to be alone and how to be a decent human being and how to treat people with respect.

I see only one child here & it's you, not Jamie. Grow up. No, tbf, they're both acting like kids, "I was with her first" — "I was with her last." But Roy is.... *deep sigh* My reaction to him is basically Jamie smacking lips and raising his eyebrows. Seriously, grow the hell up.

No but I think she should sit together, all three of them and talk. They don't actually consider what the woman in question wants. Maybe she wants neither of you. In the meantime, Roy and Jamie should kiss. They're going nowhere this way.

"She made that for me." I see hints of Roy getting physical & I swear to god, if he ever touches Jamie in the wrong way, just with one fucking finger, I am so fighting Roy. I can almost see Jamie waiting for the punch and for the need to defend himself. Jamie comes first, everything else comes second. Unless you're gonna kiss him and love him & cherish him, FUCK OFF.

Overall, even with how much I ship OT3, I'm tired of when it's presented like an actual triangle/two people running after one. This is seriously going nowhere & considering this might be our episode EVER, I dislike that very much. And them bickering like children? You guys should fix it.

Like, I had a feeling Roy might try to pull off something like this since he saw Jamie and Keeley hugging and got jealous but omg. *rolls eyes* Be a bigger man for once, will you, before calling Jamie a child?

P.S.:

This sounds SO much like a Phil's interview where he said that he wanted things with Keeley to go Jamie's way. Bc he feels all Jamie's victories and losses the same way Jamie feels.

[theliterarywolf]

I both hate and love how right I was about Wish being not well received amongst everyone, especially on the internet

It was either late last year or earlier this year that I had found this Disney magazine that was promoting the latest movies, shows etc. Well they had a large spread dedicated to advertising Wish with promos, behind the scenes so on and so forth

Upon looking thru the spread, first thought that popped into my mind was "this ain't gonna be good considering how much of a flop Strange World was" and dear God did they really phone the villian song end jfc

And dammit I was right i didnt wanna be right but i was, they don't care enough about their animated films anymore they just wanna rush this out to catch the 100th anniversary and focus on making the snow white remake even shittier

Okay, but to be fair: a good chunk of why Strange World flopped is because Disney refused to promote it properly because of their whole 'we refuse to have any scifi/action movies that aren't tied to Star Wars or the MCU' schtick.

Like, don't get me wrong, the writing of Strange World was still dumb and the big twist was both obvious and made no sense at the same time, but the lack of promotion was the real killer there.

My God, the fucking villain song. I remember, even when my doubts about Wish were first starting to build up, I was desperately clinging on because I kept hearing 'this is going to be a return to form; this is going to be the first Disney movie in YEARS to give us a traditional villain song'

And then they showed it and I was like

And, the thing of it is... I wasn't out here thinking that Disney wouldn't have some callbacks and references to it's legacy in this movie. After all, it is supposed to celebrate their centennial.

However, remember when the references and callbacks were more easter eggs and fun hunts for the audience? Like how, as insidious as it is, the Hidden Mickeys are for the parks?

They could have returned to form with a magnificent story stemmed in the quality of writing from the Disney Renaissance; the period of Disney that people are still celebrating all these years later.

Instead we ended up with a movie that is as shameless in its 'Hey! Remember thing?! We made thing!!' as Space Jam: A New Legacy.

[musical-chick-13]

Over the course of my life, there have been a total of four (4) characters that I can say I genuinely and truly hated. Four characters out of the hundreds (if not thousands) I've encountered that made me see red upon simply having to remember that they exist. One of these is, I think, incredibly well-written, she just wasn't for me--which is why I've never talked about her. Another one of them I simply do not have the energy to verbalize my hatred for anymore (even though I do think he is a very poorly-conceived character and for-real wish he had never been introduced to fictional canon) beyond an occasional cursory statement.

The LAST two, though, jfc. One of them I've already talked at length about why I don't think this character works (Raúl, it's Raúl). Which I can do because he's from an extremely obscure property with a minimal fandom, so no one's really going to get mad about me deconstructing him through a less-than-favorable lens, but the other.........I really want to do a comprehensive character analysis on why this character, in my opinion, just isn't effective on a narrative level, nor an emotional one--mainly because I need some other fucking perspective to exist on the Internet beyond, "WOW, this is the most FASCINATING and COMPLEX character to ever exist!!!1" because I feel well and truly like I am actually going fucking insane.

I can't actually like. DO this, though. For one thing, I know what it's like to be subject to a bunch of character negativity from some rando (see: EVERY fictional woman I've ever loved), and I don't want to be that person. But also. I feel like, even if I laid out all my evidence and wasn't vitriolic about it (which would very much 10000% be the plan if I DID do this), I would actually, for-real get murdered. And I would very much like to keep my life.