So... I saw a group of clowns and mimes for the first time in years at the park today.
And can you guess how I responded? Not with fear like some might think; I've never been afraid of clowns. No. I took one look at one of them dressed up as a harlequin and my brain goes: "COPULATE."
And after promptly asking my brain what the actual f#ck, it responded by... "readying preparations" for what it assumed was about to take place. I immediately found somewhere to sit down to hide my shame and try to comprehend what was happening.
Was she attractive? I couldn't really tell, she was in full makeup. Was it just physical? No, there wasn't much attention grabbing about her figure. Then what is your problem brain?!
I looked at the group again and it became clear: They were dressed up as clowns and mimes... and I liked that, a whole lot apparently. Aw crap, was I attracted to clowns? See-through gypsy clothes and a lot of skin sure, it's summer, but my... "biological data transfer initiation program" came from the getup itself! Not the woman underneath.
So I'm stuck there, wondering how much debt I'm going to be in after therapy for this, and how tight the following straight-jacket will be, really kinda hoping that maybe the heat had just gotten to me without my noticing, but I had to ask myself:
Of all things, when the F#CK did I become attracted to cl-
Harley Quinn, Batman
Jinx, Teen Titans
Zazie Rainyday, Negima!
Harle, Chrono Cross
NiGHTS, Journey of Dreams
Pinkamena Diane Apple Pie, MLP
Neo/Trivia Vanille, RWBY
Luan Loud, The Loud House
La Brava, My Hero Academia
Spinel, Steven Universe: The Movie
-owns...
AW FIDDLESTICKS!
CRAP, CRAP, CRAP.
Welp! I have a thing for harlequins. F###ck me lads!
I should have seen this but I doubt anyone could have anticipated this turn of events. I've always gravitated toward anything resembling masquerade paraphernalia. I was aware of this even when I was little, and kinda took pride in the fact that I liked them when most kids were terrified by them. But apparently all those years of my brain releasing Happy Chemicals whenever I saw a harlequin-esque character has had an effect. And I just wanna have it on record that I did NOT sign off on this! I blame those dang cartoons! What even is this?!
Disbelief of this revelation, mixed with pride from understanding myself better, and sprinkled with the kind of shame I haven't felt since I was an awkward middle school lad makes for a downright dizzying coctail. It doesn't seem to be clowns, but harlequins specifically, and I don't know what to do about it except... probably never acknowledge it in real life ever! Like normal people! Yup! This is totally healthy!
when characters crave to be loved the same as they were before even though they've changed so much for the worse that they're nearly beyond recognition, my beloved
I'm sorry if i forgot any neurotypes for any of the characters, feel free to correct me in the comments! Also have trouble with HC versus coded and sometimes even canon. They blend easily!
Anyway these were just cartoon characters. Maybe one day i'll do video games and *shudders* live action.