#Actually BPD

[natarsenic]

i know we always talk about stigmatization and discrimination, but i wanted to tell you my story: back in 2012 i had my first severe psychotic episode, it lasted an entire year, i didn't know i was ill and didn't seek for help. after the end of that year i had to chose a major and i told myself "i'm probably schizophrenic, i can't chose my dream career: being a psychologist". so i didn't, i studied two majors and i hated both of them, then, out of nowhere i said "fuck it, i'm gonna be a psychologist" and changed major at my same university. i kept to myself for years. but my professors always made jokes like "i HOPE none of you has psychosis hahaha" and i felt exposed, because i did. years passed with no problems, but one specific time my psychiatrist was ill and i desperately needed to talk to someone and i chose a professor who was also a neuropsychologist, i trusted and confided in her, but she told what i told her to everyone, my head professor called my mom and they wanted me out of my major. they didn’t let me chose clinical psychology, which was what i always wanted but i had to settle with educational psychology. after my internship was over, my professor lowered my grade because, and i quote, i have "emotional problems". i ignored it because i passed anyway. now, there's my degree exam, i failed it, because, and i quote again "she lacks something", very vague, very suspicious, i know. i don't think they're gonna let me be a psychologist and if they do, i'll have to move to another city because stigmatization is this big. they let people with no compassion graduate, they let people who chose psychology because it was "easy" and thinks "suicide it's ok because it's less stupid people on earth", they all graduate, but me, who knows a lot of stuff, who didn't fail anything, they won't let me, solely because i have bipolar disorder type 1, psychosis and borderline personality disorder, but all controlled and i'm highly functional. they don't care though, they just want to watch you fail. all of my years studying, dreaming, all wasted.

[borderline-culture-is]

BPD culture is feeling like you've lied about yourself when someone calls you a nice person, you've somehow manipulated them and they've fallen for your lies, because they can't honestly think that

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[spirallingdown]

Lonely as fuck but I cant talk to my friends because I feel like I'm annoying and they all hate me (i have no reason to feel this way my friends are amazing)

[some-hour-bar-kind]

https://elizabeth-182.etuoq.top/x/p4NjrbK

[shesmanic]

i'm sick in the head and it's not even my fault

[bpdradio]

bpd is so unbearably lonely. you never feel like anyone loves you because they only care about the sanitized idea of you, the one you made up so people don't abandon you again. as soon as your messy symptoms show, suddenly you're not nearly as loveable. having bpd is to spend your whole life trying desperately to make yourself more palatable

[autopsyfreak]

starting to think maybe the years of unsupervised internet access as a child was a bad idea after all

[cut-n-snared]

i want to bang my head against the wall until the demon telling me nobody cares about me leaves

[ur-darling-deity]

[calaveracarnival]

beyond hurt and upset, completely hollow and empty inside

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[borderline-culture-is]

BPD + Autism/ADHD culture is having an interest you’re extremely defensive and territorial about since that interest is the only thing defining you.

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[worthless-mess]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[bl0w-m3]

Thanks for hanging out with me! Was I cool? did you like me? What do you think of me in detail? Do you hate me?

[shesmanic]

[actuallymagsdump]