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dimigexwrites · 3 years

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Second Chances, The Date (KakaSaku Valentines Day)

This is the second chapter for the story that I did for the KakaSaku Valentines Day that @bouncyirwin and Empress Nariko are hosting. This chapter is really long (12k words or so I think), so it's under the cut or it can be found at FF or AO3

As part of the Hearts on Fire fundraiser, the university had booked a popular downtown venue for the evening. Since the majority of the proceeds went toward the Wounded Warrior project, several clubs from the school were taking part in the event to assure its success. Kakashi had assumed that participants' names would be thrown into a hat and drawn at random, but, like everything else, they'd seemed to have put more thought into it. He supposed that he should be thankful to have been paired with someone he knew at least a little bit.

Kakashi arrived at the restaurant only fifteen minutes late after stopping to pick up flowers, typical red roses because this whole date was a farce. When he pulled open the door, the chaotic mix of florals, cheap perfume, and wine flavored the air. A handful of people milled around by the check-in area, either waiting on their dates or waiting to be pointed in the right direction.

As Kakashi started to join the group, a familiar pair of blue eyes settled on him from across the room. Ino pulled away from the desk with a mischievous smile on her face. "Well, well, well, Hatake-sensei, you came after all."

"I said I would come," Kakashi pointed out. "I'm not going to go back on my word."

"Good," Ino purred. Her gaze traveled up and down Kakashi's body in a calculating manner that made him feel like his suit wasn't enough protection from her eyes. "I'm glad to see you put a little bit of effort into this at least."

Warmth bloomed in Kakashi's cheeks under the scrutiny of Ino's assessment. Before he could think of an answer, the brunette from the other day hurried up to them, a paper name tag on her shirt read 'Tenten - Event Support'. The girl caught Ino's arm with frantic energy. "Leave Hatake-sensei alone and come help me. There seems to be some confusion with two of our patrons. He thought that she was going to—"

The conversation faded as Tenten pulled Ino away. Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief; the blonde's stare left him feeling uncomfortable. Something about Ino's look made Kakashi feel like he'd been tested, but he wasn't sure if he'd come up lacking or not. Swallowing, he looked across the room. Dozens of tables filled the space, white table clothes accentuated by the flicker of candles. The overhead lights had been dimmed for the occasion, but Kakashi saw a decent mix of faculty and students in the room. At least he wouldn't be completely out of place.

"Hatake-sensei?" The sound sent a nervous jolt of energy through Kakashi's chest. He told himself that it had had more to do with the atmosphere of the room than the familiar timbre of the voice behind him. "Or, should I call you Kakashi?"

Turning toward the voice, Kakashi offered a smile. Haruno Sakura returned the gesture, her lips a gentle shade of pink that accented the color of her hair. The woman wore a simple back dress that guided his eyes to places they shouldn't go by the way it hugged her body. The neckline left her shoulders bare despite the long sleeves, creating an alluring mix of exposed and covered skin that begged Kakashi to run his fingers over it.

Kakashi swallowed the lump in his throat, focusing on the shining green eyes that were watching him with curiosity and amusement. "Kakashi is fine," he answered, once he was certain that he had control of his voice. Remembering the flowers, Kakashi held them out. "Here, these are for you."

Taking in the deep red of the roses, Sakura inhaled their aroma. "You didn't have to do that," she murmured. Suddenly, Kakashi was thankful that Tenzo had reminded him to pick up flowers on the way..

"I'm pretty sure it's not Valentine's Day without a dozen red roses." Kakashi managed a chuckle as the woman cradled the flowers in the crook of one elbow. Then, he gestured around the room "Do you know how any of this works? The organizers seem a little bit chaotic."

Sakura laughed and grinned toward the pair of women arguing over a laptop near the check-in area. "That's Ino and Tenten for you. Ino, the blond one, loves playing matchmaker and gossip, while Tenten loves people watching. The idea of this event was way more fun for them than actually running it will be."

"It certainly seems that way." Kakashi watched the pair for a moment longer as Tenten clicked through something on the computer and Ino flapped her hands in annoyance. Chuckling, he turned back to Sakura. "I suspected that something was off when we were paired, to be honest."

Sakura quirked one eyebrow upward with a frown. "Why's that?"

The challenging stare surprised Kakashi, as did the hint of a blush on the woman's cheeks. "The pairing just surprised me," he amended, which seemed to soothe Sakura somewhat. "I'm sorry that you didn't get a better date for the evening."

"Who said there was anything wrong with you?" Laughing, Sakura shook her head. "Come on, I know where our table is."

As Kakashi followed Sakura through the room, he tried to avoid the curious stares that turned in their direction. Thankfully, their table was in the back corner, which provided a sense of privacy. A thick, pink piece of parchment held up by a heat shaped clip had their names written across it in fancy script. Sakura laid the flowers to one side of the table, then sank into her seat before Kakashi could offer to pull it out. He settled in the chair across from her, self conscious despite the secluded feeling that the room offered.

Silence reigned for several uncomfortable seconds before Sakura spoke. "So, it's been a while—''

Before the woman could finish her thought, a young man interrupted them with a polite bow. Kakashi was fairly certain that the boy had been in his Introduction to Literature class a couple of semesters ago, which meant he was probably part of the fundraiser. But, Kakashi couldn't be sure. The boy's black suit and white shirt made him look like a waiter, at least.

The young man sat a flute of champagne in front of Sakura, then a second near Kakashi. "The first glass is included with dinner, which will be out shortly," he paused and pulled a sheet of parchment paper similar to the one that had Kakashi and Sakura's name from a folder he carried under one arm. "Until then, here are some questions to help you get to know your date better. Enjoy your evening."

After presenting the paper to Sakura, the man bowed and walked to the next table to repeat his clearly rehearsed speech. The pinkette skimmed over the page in her hand then raised her gaze. When her eyes met Kakashi, they laughed. It sounded almost genuine, if a little strained at the edges.

"This is really awkward," Kakashi allowed, reaching for the champagne. Deciding better of it, he let his hand rest on the table instead. "We don't have to do this whole awkward first date thing. It's perfectly fine to just have dinner and call it a night."

"We absolutely have to do the question and answer section. I wouldn't want all of Ino's hard work to be for nothing." Laughing, Sakura took a drink of her champagne and laid the list on the table. "Okay, first question: what's your favorite color?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the question. "How is that supposed to help people find out if they're compatible?"

Swirling the champagne around in her glass, Sakura raised her shoulders in a shrug that made the light play across her skin. "My favorite color is red."

Studying the pale shade of Sakura's lips and hair, then the black of her dress, Kakashi laughed. "I would have guessed that." Sakura inclined her head and looked at him expectantly. Frowning, Kakashi considered for a couple of seconds, then shrugged. "Mine is black."

"Black isn't a color," Sakura pointed out, placing her glass back on the table. A imprint of her lips remained on the side, drawing Kakashi's gaze for a millisecond before she spoke. "Want to try again?"

"Black is definitely a color." Kakashi considered for a moment longer, then shrugged. "Fine, dark grey."

Sakura shook her head at the words, but didn't correct Kakashi this time. She turned her attention to the next question instead. "Okay, would you rather visit the mountains or the beach on vacation?"

Though Kakashi knew the answer almost immediately, he made a show of considering the options. "Definitely the mountains. Give me a secluded cabin away from people for a week or two, and I'm good to go."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sakura tipped her head to the side to study Kakashi though a fall of pink hair. She'd worn it down tonight, the pale tresses curling softly at the ends. "What about a secluded beach, though?"

Kakashi tapped a finger against his lip thoughtfully. "I suppose it depends on the company. But, as long as I have a good book, I could tolerate it. I'm assuming your answer is the beach then?"

A smile played across Sakura's lips as she toyed with one earring, a glimmer of silver dangling from one ear. "I could take either one as long as there aren't too many people around. Huge crowds can be overwhelming." Sakura took another sip of her champagne, then dipped her head. "But, yes, as a general rule, I'm always down for a trip to the beach."

For a minute, Kakashi could imagine it. Sakura laughing at some joke, sunlight reflecting off her sunglasses as she stared at him. Waves crashed in the distance as warm, white sand sparkled behind her. Kakashi blushed and pushed the intrusive thought away. Sakura laughed, but her eyes were on the sheet of questions rather than Kakashi's face. "Oh, this is an easy one for you. Would you rather give up social media entirely, or live as an influencer?"

Reaching for his drink, Kakashi waved a hand to indicate that Sakura could continue. The champagne was dry with rich undertones of fruit, but he couldn't tell which. It tasted good though. Sakura laid the paper on the table and narrowed her eyes at Kakashi. Then, she grinned. "You'd give up social media in a heartbeat, wouldn't you?"

Kakashi shook his head, lying with the easy practice of a university proctor. "Not at all. I'd love to be an influencer."

Laughing, Sakura raised one eyebrow. "There's no way that's true. You don't even have a social media presence, do you?"

For a few seconds, Kakashi didn't speak. Then, he frowned. "How do you know that?"

Deep crimson erupted on Sakura's cheeks as she toyed with a bracelet that Kakashi hadn't noticed on her wrist. "Okay, so this is going to sound weird. But, I may have tried to look you up before coming tonight. Either you don't have social media, or you've hidden it really well."

Warmth opened in Kakashi's chest, a light, fluttery feeling that he knew came from having his ego fed. He suppressed it with some effort. "Are you telling me that you're here because you're stalking me?"

"Dammit, you caught me." Sakura's voice took on a teasing tone as she drained the rest of her champagne. Setting her glass back on the table, she turned to Kakashi with a twinkle in her eye. "The real question is: are you going to turn me in?"

"I haven't decided; I want to hear the rest of your answers, first." Kakashi felt a curious warmth spread through him when Sakura chuckled. He nodded toward her empty glass. "Do you want another?"

Sakura gasped and covered her mouth with one hand. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Professor Hatake?"

"Please, don't call me that." Kakashi cringed at the juxtaposition of his title alongside the playful lilt in Sakura's voice. "I'll be forced to call you Miss Haruno and ask only the bare minimum of personal questions to avoid crossing any lines."

"We wouldn't want that. Would we, Kakashi?" Sakura tipped her head in that curious way that women had to make their eyes seem more intense as she smiled. Her voice dropped to an almost seductive tone that made Kakashi's heart thump against his ribs in response.

Before Kakashi could think of something to say to the heat in Sakura's voice, a distinctive buzz sounded from his pocket. He jumped, bumping the table hard enough to jostle the water glasses beside the champagne flutes. Mumbling an excuse, Kakashi pulled his phone from his pocket in case it was an emergency. He frowned at Tenzo's texts on the screen.

Well? How's it going? You went, right? Stop ignoring me. I just want to make sure you didn't do something stupid, again.

Huffing, Kakashi put the device face down on the table and glanced over at Sakura. The woman watched him with open curiosity. "Do you need to take that?"

"No, it's fine." Kakashi took another sip of his champagne, and it mixed agreeably with the whiskey in his stomach. Despite Sakura's teasing tone and Tenzo's insistence on being part of the evening, Kakashi felt almost at ease. The horrible day had been mellowed by the pleasant conversation and environment. Shaking his head, Kakashi ignored the phone. "It's not important."

"So, it wasn't your girlfriend wondering why you're standing her up on Valentine's Day?" Sakura delivered the question playfully, but the scrutiny in her gaze suggested that she was worried there might be some truth in the accusation.

Before Kakashi could explain, they were interrupted by the arrival of salads. A different student placed the chilled bowl in front of Sakura, blue eyes sweeping over the woman with an air of dismissal before turning toward Kakashi. "It's nice to see you again, Hatake-sensei," the dark haired woman said, dipping into a bow. Kakashi racked his brain to put a name to the face, but he couldn't manage it. "It's Yumi," the girl offered. "I took your critical writing course last year."

Kakashi's mind was too full of names and faces to have more than a vague memory of the girl, but he made an effort. "How have you been? You were studying psychology, wasn't it?"

Yumi nodded, but the disappointment at not being remembered remained on her face, only partially tempered by Kakashi's guess at her major. "I've been doing well." Her gaze darted to Sakura briefly, then away. "It's so nice to see you supporting this charity. And, I just wanted to say, you look quite handsome all dressed up."

A blush rose on Kakashi's cheeks before he could stop it. Sakura cleared her throat as she reached for her silverware. Yumi glanced over, then smiled with a hint of teeth behind it. "I should get back to work. Enjoy your evening, Hatake-sensei. I'll see you around."

Kakashi frowned at Yumi's back as she walked back toward the kitchen. "Well, that was odd."

"Seriously," Sakura scoffed under her breath. When Kakashi turned to face her, the woman rolled her eyes so hard she looked in danger of hurting herself. Even so, a hint of amusement remained in her voice. "Please tell me you are not that dense."

Picking up his fork, Kakashi pushed around the lettuce in his bowl "What are you talking about?"

"You really don't see it, do you?" The wonder in Sakura's voice warred with the annoyance in the narrowed eyes that watched Kakashi though the flicker of candlelight for several long seconds. Finally, she crossed her legs and sat back, regarding him over her water glass. "You do realize that she was hitting on you? Right in front of me too, like I wasn't even here."

"No, she wasn't." Kakashi's mouth fell open at the blatant accusation in Sakura's words. "She was just being friendly."

Pressing her lips together in a poor attempt to hide a smile, Sakura hummed knowingly. "And how many of your female students are just friendly with you?"

Kakashi's frown deepened as he thought about the interaction with Yumi, and then further back to the playful comments, accidental brushes, and smoldering stares that sometimes happened. He shrugged and tugged at the neck of his shirt. "I mean, I don't think students are any more friendly with me than they are with other professors."

Laughing, Sakura shook her head and put the glass back on the table. She leaned close, voice dropping to a whisper. "So, did you know that half of the girls in my AP English class were making a bet to see who could make out with you first? Or, better yet, who could sleep with you by the end of the year."

Kakashi choked on the spit in his mouth, coughing through the suffocation feeling that clenched his chest. It felt like the ground had dropped out from underneath him. "You were children," he argued, completely at a loss. "You couldn't have honestly believed that I would start a relationship, much less an intimate one, with any of you."

"Most of us were seventeen or eighteen by then," Sakura pointed out, voice cool and unreadable. Kakashi spluttered on the water he'd taken a drink of to clear his throat. Coughing into a napkin, he stared at the woman across from him in shock. She offered a single shoulder shrug. "You weren't that much older."

Most of us were seventeen or eighteen. The phrase lodged itself in Kakashi's mind, but he refused to think about the implications behind it. He rubbed the back of his neck. "It was more than ten years," he pointed out, making a joke of the age difference even though it made him self conscious, especially considering their current situation. "I can't believe you thought I'd date a student."

"It was less thinking that you'd do it, and more hoping that you would." The words hung in the air for a tension filled second, then Sakura shrugged and took a bite of her salad as if the conversation were nothing out of the ordinary.

Kakashi watched the woman, unable to form a coherent thought. He glanced up as one of the makeshift waiters, thankfully a male, walked by with a bottle of champagne. Raising his glass, Kakashi caught the man's attention and held it up for a refill. The waiter poured pale liquid into the glass, then turned to Sakura. Kakashi indicated that the woman could decide on her own as he focused on her face rather than the secrets she'd just spilled out. It was easier that way. Sakura offered her a glass as well.

Once they were alone, the silence felt oppressive. Sakura ate her salad without speaking for a moment, then she broke the ice by nodding toward Kakashi's phone. "So, was the text from your girlfriend?"

"Only if you count Senju-sensei," Kakashi joked, trying to ease the tension of the conversation. "He texts me enough to be an obsessive girlfriend. He's worried that I didn't show up, or I'll say or do something stupid, or who knows what he's stressing about now."

As if on cue, the phone buzzed again. Kakashi sighed and thumbed open the messaging app. Seriously? You didn't stand her up, did you?

"May I?" Sakura reached across the table, and Kakashi handed over the phone without thinking. The pinkette ran her fingers through her hair, then gave the camera a sultry pout. A brilliant flash lit the space around the table for the space of three seconds, then Sakura shook her head and retook the photo. Apparently content with the image, her fingers flew over the keyboard with a familiarity that Kakashi marveled at. Then, she handed the phone back to him. "There, that should take care of him for a little while at least."

Kakashi stared at the message screen in surprise. Sakura had sent a photo to Tenzo that made her look positively stunning. She'd angled her body to capture the most flattering light and somehow managed to look seductive and innocent at the same time. Underneath the image, she'd typed a short message. He's being a perfect gentleman. Stop worrying about us. Xoxo

Blushing for some reason he couldn't explain, Kakashi tucked the phone back into his pocket. He blew out a breath, surprised to feel that the room had gotten warmer the more crowded it became. Raising his champagne, Kakashi took a sip. "Back to your question, though. Do you honestly think I'd sign up for something like if I had a girlfriend? I had no idea that your opinion of me was so low."

"It's not that." Sakura shrugged. The movement made the candlelight dance across her collar bones. "It's more that I'm surprised that you don't have a girlfriend."

Uncomfortable with the direction that the conversation was heading, Kakashi turned it back to Sakura. "What about you? Shouldn't I expect some blindly jealous young man to storm in here and demand to know who gave me the right to take you to dinner?"

Something like sadness entered Sakura's eyes when she shook her head. "First of all, no, because I wouldn't date someone like that. And secondly, I only took part in this because Ino begged me to come. I haven't really made time for dating since my last relationship ended, and that was almost two years ago."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, it's been a while. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Did you really not see it all over the news?" Bitterness slid into Sakura's voice faster than Kakashi thought possible as she swirled her champagne around in her glass. When he shook his head, she chuckled without a trace of humor. "You must be the only one who hasn't. Uchiha Sasuke is a high profile name."

"Ahhh," Kakashi whistled under his breath. "I'm familiar with the family, of course."

There wasn't a person in Konoha who didn't know who Uchiha Madara was, or recognize the man's law firm which boasted the best defense lawyers that money could buy. They were outrageously expensive and unrivaled in court, Madara especially. Sasuke must have been following in the man's footsteps to be worthy of notice already. Kakashi was surprised the boy was old enough to be out of law school, unless he was older than Sakura.

"He graduated a year before you taught at Konoha High," Sakura interjected as if she could read Kakashi's thoughts. "He finished university early. And, because he had connections in the family business, he made a name for himself quickly."

Kakashi tipped his head, understanding that sort of privilege all too well. He'd been close friends with another Uchiha, once upon a time, though the man hadn't been from the main family as Sasuke seemed to be. Kakashi studied Sakura, trying to read if she wanted to talk about the break up. "So, what happened?"

Sakura shrugged and took a long drink, draining half of the champagne in her glass. "His family was never happy with the match in the first place. They wanted to use his marriage as a political move to secure a more powerful ally like the Hyuga."

Setting the alcohol back on the table, Sakura switched to her water. Kakashi almost praised the technique to avoid a hangover, then decided against it as Sakura toyed with her bracelet. He wondered if the movement was a subconscious sign that she was nervous or uncomfortable. When Sakura's eyes came back up to Kakashi's, the hurt was stronger than before. "And, Sasuke loved his job more than he loved me."

Kakashi sensed that he'd brought up painful memories, but he wasn't sure how to soothe it short of reaching across to squeeze Sakura's hand. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, instead, keeping his fingers stil. "Some people don't know what they have until they lose it."

Snorting, Sakura shook her head at the words. "He doesn't seem to feel like he's lost anything." Before Kakashi could apologize again, she waved a dismissive hand. "But, it's ancient history. So, what about you? Why isn't there a Mrs. Hatake?"

"Are past relationships on this list?" Kakashi forced a laugh and reached for the paper that held the list of icebreaker questions from earlier. In the back of his mind, over the soft music playing in the background of the restaurant, he heard the scream of tires fighting to grip the road. Then, Kakashi was airborne again, life flashing before his eyes as Rin screamed his name. He felt the physical impact like a punch to the gut even though it was more than twenty years ago.

Warmth seeped into Kakashi's hand, and the memory wavered. The snow slick darkness faded to pale candlelight and green eyes. He stared at Sakura, fighting to suppress the sudden memory for three heartbeats. The woman frowned as she released Kakashi's hand. "Is everything okay?"

Kakashi gave himself a little shake and turned his full attention to the paper in front of him. He couldn't think about that night, not again, not right now. Not trusting his voice, Kakashi nodded. Sakura studied him with an intensity that promised they'd revisit this conversation eventually, but she let it go, for now. Kakashi took a drink of water to wash the ashy taste of failure from his mouth as he read the questions. He frowned, then rolled his eyes. "How could knowing someone's favorite app possibly help you get to know them?"

Sakura laughed and pushed her salad bowl away, snagging the list from Kakashi's hand. "I don't know," she began with the same, cool demeanor that Kakashi had used during lectures hundreds of times. "A person's favorite tiktok can tell you a lot about them."

At Kakashi's presumably blank expression the woman's face turned disbelieving. "You do know that is, right?"

Kakashi's mood soured at the memory of his day. "Is that the silly video app that interrupted half of my classes?"

Smiling in an almost indulgent manner, Sakura turned to the clutch that she'd set on the table with her flowers. Opening it, she pulled out a phone in a glittery pink case that matched her personality perfectly. Sakura swiped across the screen a few times, the grin on her lips growing as she turned the phone around. Kakashi frowned at the dim screen, firmly telling himself that he didn't need glasses no matter what his eye doctor said. The sound was either muted or too quiet to hear over the general buzz of noise in the room, but Kakashi recognized his classroom immediately. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at the recording. "This just happened today. How is it already online?"

Sakura tapped a few more times and pulled up another recording, then laughed. "There's actually several versions of it posted."

Rising, Kakashi moved his seat closer to Sakura so that he wouldn't need to stretch across the table to see her phone. Sakura shifted closer, showing him a second and third video of the confession. The final one had been taken from across the classroom, but it was more complete than the others. Kakashi's cheeks heated as he watched himself grab the phone from the boy trying to make the video then round on the class. He couldn't remember what he said, but he hadn't been patient with them.

Sakura touched another button on the screen, and a list of comments came up. She pointed at one. Damn, if my teacher looked like that, I'd never miss class. Scroll. He likes playing rough, me too. Scroll. Why can't my teachers look like that? Scroll. Where do I sign up for this class? Scroll. Silver fox. Scroll. I know this wasn't the point of this video, but hello Daddy.

There were no words to justify Kakashi's horror at the spectacle unfolding before him. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Sakura burst out laughing, and her eyes caught the soft yellow of the candlelight. "Do you really expect me to believe that you don't know that you're a good looking man? Or why so many of your classes have a higher percentage of female to male students?

Kakashi frowned at the woman sitting just a foot away from him instead of the other side of the table. He was close enough to smell the rich, complex scent of the perfume that Sakura had worn and to notice a smudge of black liner in the corner of her left eye. Her gaze held a challenge that made Kakashi shake his head. "I think you're imagining things."

"Well, it certainly looks like things are heating up over here." A voice crooned, interrupting the tension at the table. Kakashi and Sakura startled apart though there was no reason to do so. Ino grinned at the pair and waved with her hand. "Get back together. We're taking pictures of all the happy couples to commemorate the fundraiser."

Kakashi shook his head, running a self conscious hand through his hair. "We aren't a couple."

"It's a turn of phrase," Ino huffed, lifting the camera. "You're two people paired together through the fundraiser; it's pretty much the same thing."

Kakashi opened his mouth to argue, then Sakura's fingers brushed along the side of his thigh to stop the words. His entire body jolted in response as she smiled. "Just let her have the photo, and she'll move on."

The woman's voice hardened on the final words, drawing a laugh from Ino. "She's right, you know. Now, get back together."

Feeling like an awkward teenager at a middle school dance, Kakashi leaned in toward Sakura. She shifted in front of his shoulder, bringing their faces close enough that he felt the warmth of her skin almost touching his. Kakashi blinked in the brilliant flash that came next. Ino stared down at the screen, then shook her head. "That one was terrible. Come on, Hatake-sensei, try smiling. You're out with a beautiful woman, after all."

Putting his best effort into the smile, Kakashi looked at the camera. This time, after his vision cleared after the blinding light, Ino nodded. "That one is much better. You two actually look happy," she purred. "Enjoy the rest of your evening, lovelies. Dinner should be out soon, and I'll send someone to refill your glasses."

Before Kakashi could point out that their glasses were half full, Ino pulled away from the table to take photos at the next one. He sighed and took a sip of water. "How in the world did the two of you become friends?"

Sakura chuckled under her breath as she tucked her phone back into her purse. "She and I went to school together."

"It kind of seems like you went to school with everyone," Kakashi observed, continuing to nurse his water as two more glasses of champagne appeared at the table.

"Yourself included," Sakura teased with the banter that seemed to come so easy to her. When Kakashi rolled his eyes, she shrugged. "I mean, I kind of did. This town really isn't that big, you know?"

As Kakashi watched Sakura look around the crowded room, he ran the math backward in his head. She was somewhere in her mid twenties by now, a far cry from the girl that he'd known at eighteen. Even so, nothing erased the fourteen year age difference between them; it might as well have been a lifetime. Sakura's company was pleasant, and she was beautiful as Ino said, but that was where things ended. Kakashi couldn't let himself think beyond that. He washed the thoughts away with another pull of the alcohol he hadn't wanted in the first place.

Unaware of the thoughts spinning through Kakashi's mind, Sakura flashed a mischievous grin. "You didn't know you were Tik Tok famous?"

Kakashi's mind did a full stop at the idea of being recognized on the app, much less having multiple people know who he was. His earlier horror flooded back in. "Please tell me you're joking."

Sakura's musical laughter made Kakashi's heart sink. She shrugged one shoulder. "I mean, I follow the tags for Konoha University, and you've popped up on my feed quite a few times."

The words almost made sense. Kakashi knew the technical definitions of each term, but the context was wrong. It took his mind a moment to remember the more modern meaning of tags and feeds, and when he did, he quirked one eyebrow toward the ceiling. "So, you really are stalking me?"

"Just a little," Sakura teased, turning to meet Kakashi's gaze with an expression that made his heart flutter uncomfortably. Her tongue slid across her lips with exaggerated slowness that might have only been his imagination, then she smiled. "I mean, I have to keep up with what's happening with Professor Hot-ake."

Kakashi choked on his water, almost spraying the particles across the table. He coughed into his elbow to clear the obstruction so he could draw breath as Sakura laughed and patted him lightly on the back. "I didn't come up with that, by the way. That would be one of your undergrads," she clarified, then grinned. "Though, I imagine most of them hate me right now for being lucky enough to get paired with you tonight."

An uncomfortable doubt settled in Kakashi's stomach. Even though he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer, Kakashi couldn't help but ask. "Was it luck though?" His gaze settled on Ino as she swooped toward another table with her camera. "Or, was it fixed?"

Sakura's brilliant green eyes widened as she followed Kakashi's gaze to catch the meaning of his words. Color bloomed in her cheeks. "You know, for someone who claims to be unaware of how you affect people, you certainly have a high opinion of yourself."

"I mean, you did claim to stalk me," Kakashi answered, hoping to invite some levity into the situation. Even so, ice slid along his veins when Sakura didn't answer. "It just seems a little convenient considering some of the things you said about the bet in high school and the tiktok stuff."

Kakashi stopped himself short of mentioning the brush of Sakura's fingers on his thigh when Ino appeared for the picture. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck the way he did when he was nervous. "Sakura, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about this. I came because it was for a good cause and I'd already committed to it, but this isn't a date. It's just a friendly dinner."

"But, what if I don't want it to be just a friendly dinner," Sakura countered before Kakashi could add anything else. The woman blew out a breath to collect herself before continuing. "I didn't sign up for this because I thought I'd get paired with you. Honestly, it never crossed my mind that you would be here. I only joined because Ino begged me to."

Running a hand through her hair, Sakura's eyes darted away from Kakashi's. The blush on her cheeks deepened toward crimson. "I'm glad that I got your name, though."

Warmth echoed on Kakashi's cheeks at the confession, but he forced himself not to read more into the words than there was. "Why? Because you want to win some bet you made in high school? Because you want to brag to get likes on an app? Because—"

"Because I've had a crush on you for years," Sakura interrupted, ears flaming to match her cheeks. "And, you seem like a genuinely good man. I mean, you're really hot, but so was Sasuke. I want something different, someone who isn't caught up in his looks or his name, someone who," the woman trailed off, unable to articulate her words.

"You don't even know me," Kakashi pointed out, his voice growing soft on the admission. Because I've had a crush on you for years. The words repeated over and over in the back of his mind, but he quashed the sound. "You have this idea of me that you created when you were seventeen years old. That is not reality."

To Kakashi's surprise, Sakura nodded along with the words. "You're right. But, you'd never let me get close enough to know you better, and this was a chance for me to do that. So, yeah, I'm glad we were matched together, though I'm sorry you feel differently."

"I was your teacher." Kakashi dropped his voice, though he doubted that anyone else was listening to their conversation. "Going from that to something more, I just don't see how that could ever work. I never thought about you like that."

"You taught one of my classes, eight years ago. Then, I took another two classes with you seven years ago." Sakura crossed her arms over her chest like she was preparing for an argument. "That was how we met, yes. But, it doesn't mean that things couldn't change between us."

Before Kakashi could come up with an answer, their dinners arrived. As the salads were whisked away, he eyed the steak and vegetables with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. In light of conversation, Kakashi wasn't sure he could eat a single bite of food, no matter how appetizing it looked. Even so, he nodded his thanks to the girl that brought their dinner before turning back to Sakura. Once they were alone, Kakashi forced himself to speak. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

"You didn't, though." Sakura lifted her champagne and finished the rest of her second glass before thumping it back to the table. The alcohol seemed to lend some courage to her. "You can spout all the excuses you want, but your eyes tell me a different story. There is nothing wrong with finding me attractive now, or wanting to get to know me more. I'm not a student in your program, and it's been years since I was."

Kakashi chuckled, not bothering to deny the truth that he was attracted to Sakura. Of course he was; she was gorgeous, but that wasn't the point. "And, what would your parents say? Your friends? The damn school board would crucify me if they knew. It's a question of ethical behavior on the part of a professor."

"Actually, I looked into that." Sakura had the decency to blush on the confession, but she continued before Kakashi could laugh it away. "Konoha University only has rules against faculty entering relationships with students that they directly advise. Since you're a professor in the undergrad department, and I'm a student of the medical school, there would be no conflict if we started dating."

The spill of words left Kakashi dumbfounded. It wasn't just because he was shocked that Sakura had researched the specifics of their situation, though he was. It was that she thought the two of them had enough in common to do so. Kakashi didn't kid himself; he knew that he'd turned heads occasionally, but Sakura could have had any man she wanted. None of this made any sense. "I don't even know what to say," he answered, feeling at a loss.

"Say that you'll stop being so resistant and just enjoy the rest of the evening, please?" Sakura offered a tremulous smile as she tucked one curl behind her ear. "If you don't like me, I can accept that. If you don't think I'm attractive, I can accept that too. But, don't write me off without even trying to get to know me."

Kakashi sighed, feeling the old ache of almost betrayal in his chest. The passage of time hadn't erased the pain, and every woman that Kakashi touched paid the price for the mistakes that he'd made at nineteen. He pushed the image to the back of his mind. "You are absolutely stunning. No man in his right mind would turn you down."

"Except," Sakura prompted, hearing the hesitation in Kakashi's voice. When he couldn't find an answer, she managed a weak laugh. "It's complicated?"

"Something like that," Kakashi allowed, bringing his gaze back up to Sakura's for the first time in several minutes. Spots of color shone in her cheeks, while her eyes had grown more vivid and intense.

Nodding to herself, Sakura reached past Kakashi and picked up the paper with first date questions scrawled across it. As if the previous conversation had never happened, the woman read the next one. "Okay, what's your most unique feature? I'll start." She captured her lip between her teeth in a thoughtful expression for approximately three seconds, then grinned. "My hair is naturally this shade of pink. I don't have to dye it to achieve this color."

Raising one eyebrow, Kakashi dipped his head. "Normally, I would say you're making that up, but I was born with silver hair. It's never changed, so I guess we're both unique that way."

Sakura hummed at the response, then took a drink of water. To Kakashi's surprise, she moved on rather than commenting on the revelation. "Okay, your turn. Name a silly fear that you have."

As Kakashi mulled over the question, Sakura pushed the food around on her plate then took a bite of the steamed vegetables. She caught him watching and smiled, as if the past ten minutes hadn't happened. And, maybe for her, they hadn't; it had been a stumbling block that they'd climbed over and moved on. Kakashi wasn't sure if he felt the same.

After several awkward minutes of silent consideration, Kakashi shrugged. "This is going to sound dumb, but I have a recurring nightmare of coming to class without my notes and not being able to explain the text we're discussing in class. Then all of my students laugh at me, decide literature is a wasted class, and leave."

"Has that ever happened?" Sakura tipped her head to the side as she waited for an answer. Her hair slid away from the pale column of her neck, and Kakashi stared at the bit of exposed skin for a millisecond. Then, he shook his head by way of answer, not trusting his voice.

"I think you could probably fake your way through anything." Sakura tapped her fingers on the white table cloth, then nodded sharply. "I'm scared of fireflies."

Kakashi couldn't stop the eyebrow that crept upward in confusion. "What? Why?"

Delicate shoulders raised in a shrug. "They're creepy, and they're everywhere in the summer with their little flashing butts. Then, they crawl all over you, and just, ugh," a shiver raced through Sakura's body at the thought, and Kakashi had to stifle a laugh. He held out his hand for the questions then skimmed over them. If she wasn't going to make fun of him for being afraid to forget how to do his job, who was he to tease her about bugs?

"Okay, what's an unusual or unexpected talent you have?" Kakashi asked, cutting his steak now that the tension had started to fade. He needed something to soften the blow of drinking alcohol without having eaten enough food during the day.

For a couple of moments, Sakura frowned in thought before coming up with a response. "I've trained in muay thai for years, and I'm actually really good at it."

Kakashi fought to reconcile the idea of the not quite five foot tall woman being a martial arts master. For the briefest of moments, he wondered what it might be like to be manhandled by someone so much smaller than him, then blushed. Coughing to cover up the thought, he found his answer. This one was easy. "I have a photographic memory. If you show me something once, I can memorize it with no problem."

"That sounds exhausting." Sakura shook her head as if the idea was too much to consider.

Kakashi cut his eyes at Sakura and grinned. "Muay thai is much less exhausting," he quipped.

Sakura snorted and dipped her head at the comment. "Touche. Let me see that."

As the woman's eyes roamed over the questions, Kakashi took a moment to appreciate that despite his misgivings, the fundraiser had been well thought out. The restaurant was upscale and decorated for the event without being garish. The food and drinks were planned out which meant the patrons didn't have to make decisions about what to order. Then, the candlelight and soft music, along with the champagne, helped lower inhibitions while creating the ideal romantic setting. Finally, the questions had done their job of shrinking the distance between the couples. Maybe Ino and Tenten weren't so bad at planning after all.

"Name something that most people assume about you, but they're wrong." Sakura handed the paper back to Kakashi so he could pick the next question, but he didn't look at it. He was too busy considering the current one to figure out what to ask next. He had that exact scenario come up more times than he cared to remember.

Shrugging, Kakashi drained his second glass of champagne. "A lot of people think I'm arrogant, though I guess aloof and unaffected might be a better term? Standoffish, maybe? I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it happens a lot."

"Wait, you aren't?" Sakura's grin gave the lie to her words, but Kakashi felt an echo on insecurity at the laughter. She nudged his knee with hers. "I'm kidding. Why would someone think that? You've always seemed pretty genuine and open to me."

Kakashi managed a half smile. "So, you remember when I said that you had this ideal me in your head who wasn't real? Well, that's part of it. As a teacher, I have to come across that way. At least, we're supposed to."

"So, you're saying that the person you are in class is drastically different from who you are outside of it?" Sakura frowned as she considered the implications, then continued. "You come across as an intelligent, deep thinker who probably cares too much. There's a playfulness about you, probably because you worry that the other comes on too strong, so you try to balance it."

Kakashi's cheeks warmed at the alarmingly accurate description. "Wait a minute. Did you say you were a medical student, or a psychology major?"

"Definitely medical, but they overlap a little." Sakura let go of the analysis as quickly as it had come on. "Everyone thinks I'm a little girl who is afraid to get her hands dirty or do anything for herself because of the way I look."

"Do you beat them up when they say that," Kakashi teased, given the recent martial arts revelation. "I'm pretty sure that people would pay good money to see that."

As much as Kakashi hated to admit it, his first impression of Sakura hadn't been that different from what she described. The bright pink haired girl with brilliant green eyes had looked high maintenance when she walked into his classroom all those years ago. She'd been smart, funny, and presumably used to getting her way because of her looks. As he'd gotten to know her better, he hadn't revised his opinion so much as not thought about it. It left Kakashi with the uncomfortable realization that he might stereotype people too quickly.

"I've actually won a few bouts in the ring, but I need to be careful with my hands if I want to be a doctor." Sakura shrugged with an almost embarrassed expression at the admission. "When my undergrad advisor found me covered in bruises after a bad one, she threatened to call the police on my boyfriend at the time."

Sakura chuckled at the memory, but Kakash saw nothing funny about it. He watched her, uncomfortable thoughts running through his mind. "So, what caused you to take up fighting in the first place?"

Taking a bite of her meal, Sakura shrugged. "It's not important."

The nonchalant way that Sakura delivered the words made Kakashi think it might be the most important thing that she'd said all evening. There was a story behind what led the woman to train the way she did, but she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. At least, not with him. Kakashi couldn't blame her, he wasn't ready to talk about Rin either.

Even so, Kakashi was surprised to find that he wanted to know the rest of Sakura's story. Had she taken up fighting because someone had abused her in the past? A parent or boyfriend, maybe? There had been no signs of it when he'd known her, but things like that could be easily hidden. Kakashi watched Sakura avoid the question with deft, easy answers and false smiles. A splinter of hurt had buried itself inside the woman, and Kakashi wasn't sure that she'd dealt with it. He wondered if her ex had known that, or if he'd been the one who put it there.

Nodding, Kakashi let the subject drop. He didn't want to force Sakura into talking about something she wasn't ready for. Kakashi pushed his plate away, surprised that he'd eaten as much as he had with all the questions and answers. Sakura had finished as well and gone back to nursing her alcohol. Kakashi watched her, worried that he'd upset her with the question about what made her want to take up fighting.

Before the question could leave Kakashi's lips, a waiter appeared to collect their plates and empty glasses. He watched the man work with surprising efficiency and wondered just how much money the fundraiser had saved by using students instead of restaurant staff. The kids moved around with a surprising sense of urgency, removing plates and glasses or refilling them. Kakashi and Sakura's waters had been filled, and their third flutes of champagne still waited on the table.

Several waiters moved around the room distributing dessert at the tables. As a young man placed a single plate between Kakashi and Sakura, he felt his eyebrows creep upward. It held a large slice of chocolate cake with chocolate sauce, sliced strawberries, and whipped cream around the edges. The waiter placed two forks beside the dessert and bowed before moving on. The obvious intent was for the couples to share. Kakashi chuckled under his breath. Had he thought that this event was well thought out? Who would expect people who were practically strangers to share a single dessert?

Sakura must have seen Kakashi's expression, because she rolled her eyes. "Ino is a hopeless romantic. I'm sure she thought everyone would be happily buzzed and half in love by this point. She didn't think it through."

Kakashi inclined his head in agreement. "Yeah, it certainly seems that way. You're welcome to the cake, if you want it."

The pinkette reached toward the cake, then paused as if expecting a trap. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't really care for sweets," Kakashi explained. He was sure the excuse sounded like a fit of gallantry, but it wasn't. Kakashi would have been perfectly happy if there was no dessert. He vastly preferred savory flavors.

Studying Kakashi through narrowed eyes, Sakura pulled the dessert closer to herself. She waited for a couple of moments before reaching for one of the full, red strawberries along the side. Kakashi eyed the fruit with a dubious expression as she raised it toward him by the stem. "Come on, just one little bite. You might like it."

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head. "I don't hate fruit, but I don't want any. It's not a personal challenge."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Kakashi got the uncomfortable feeling that Sakura might view him that way. The aloofness that he'd always treated his students with made him inaccessible in the way that she wanted; I've had a crush on you for years. The thrill of the chase was one of the reasons that Sakura was interested in him, Kakashi understood that. His subconscious found it amusing. And, so what if that's what it is? People play hard to get all the time. Kakashi knew the argument was rational, but he wasn't trying to encourage Sakura. At least, not really.

Sakura accepted the reasoning without argument and turned the berry around in her hands to take a bite. She savored the sweetness with a quiet sound of pleasure in the back of her throat, then smiled when she noticed Kakashi watching her. Licking a stray bit of chocolate that had been drizzled over the fruit, she shrugged. "I don't think you're a challenge, at least not in the traditional sense of trying to win something. It's more because you won't let anyone get close to you, and I want to know why."

Kakashi laughed, but he didn't have an answer for Sakura. There were too many things to explain over a single dinner, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. The woman seemed undaunted as she speared a piece of cake on the end of her fork. "So, I guess the real question is if you hold yourself away from people because you're a classic Byronic hero, or more of a tragic hero?"

The sudden change in topic left Kakashi dumbfounded for approximately five seconds, then he burst out laughing. "Okay, how much research did that line take?"

"Hey, i took literature classes." Sakura argued around her next bite, pointing her fork at Kakashi like a knife. Even so, her face flamed crimson in the soft light of the candle.

Kakashi took a sip of water to clear the crackle of laughter from his throat before facing the woman beside him. "You took two Introduction to Literature courses, which I taught, and I know for a fact that we never delved into heroic archetypes."

"I can learn things without your help," Sakura shot back as the color on her cheeks deepened.

Inclining his head, Kakashi made a soothing gesture. He wasn't sure whether to feel flattered or embarrassed that Sakura had done some research before their "date". He settled somewhere in the middle with a smile. "You've missed some important classifications," he suggested, returning to Sakura's earlier question. "It's possible that I don't fit into either of those types."

"Well, you're not an antihero no matter how many people think you're arrogant." Sakura brought her gaze up with a softness that made Kakashi's heart skip a beat. Unlike so many girls her age, she had the maturity to hear what hadn't said, as well as what he had. She saw that the judgment of arrogance bothered him. Before Kakashi could dwell on that, Sakura continued. "Those people are either jealous or intimidated, and it's easier to write you off as arrogant than to get to know you."

"Is that what you're doing," Kakashi asked, strangely aware of the soft buzz of alcohol in the back of his mind. "Getting to know me?"

Sakura held Kakashi's gaze for a long moment, curiosity and something much warmer sparking inside her eyes. He refused to put a name to the hungry expression. "I'd like to," she confided in the soft, intimate bubble the halo of light made around their table. "If you'll let me."

Head swimming, Kakashi blew out a breath and chuckled. It was time to diffuse the situation with some humor. "You've left out the possibility that I'm not the hero type at all. Maybe I'm just a grumpy, old man."

"Everyone's a hero to someone," Sakura countered, with a sharp bite behind the words. Kakashi wanted to know what brought that tone to her voice, but before he could ask, she continued. "Besides, you aren't that old anyway. I've done my research. I'm twenty-five, so that would make you thirty-nine, give or take a year."

Having the numbers stated so blatantly made Kakashi uncomfortable, but Sakura breezed past them. "It made a massive difference seven years ago, but it's hardly remarkable now. I'm not some moon-eyed teenager. I've experienced life and seen how the world works."

"How so?" Genuine curiosity surged inside Kakashi at the sheer confidence that Sakura displayed when laying out the reasons that the gap between them didn't matter.

Sakura reached for her third glass of champagne and considered the question. "I learned that love isn't enough to make a relationship work, neither is physical attraction. I learned how to get myself out of tough spots without relying on anyone else. And, I've learned that some battles aren't worth fighting, and some are."

Green eyes flashed up to catch Kakashi's, leaving no doubt in his mind that Sakura had lumped him into the latter category. Kakashi blushed. He wasn't sure why the insinuation surprised him, but it did. Sakura reached out, almost brushing Kakashi's hand, she stopped her fingers just short of connecting with the skin. "If you don't feel any chemistry between us, I can accept that. But, if you won't even allow the idea because you're scared of what someone might say, I've badly misjudged you."

The words left Kakashi speechless. Sakura's face took on an earnestness that stole his breath, so he turned away to buy some time. Ino stood on the other side of the room with a group of boys and girls that must have been around the same age as Sakura. The blond grinned up at a cell phone camera while making a peace sign. He sat with the comparison for a heartbeat, then brought his gaze back to Sakura. "You don't act like other girls your age, or seem to think like they do."

The pinkette laughed with a touch of sadness. "I used to, but life screws everyone over at different times. Mine just came earlier than theirs." Sakura eyed Kakashi over her next bite of cake. "I think the same thing happened to you."

An uncomfortable lump rose in Kakashi's throat that water wouldn't wash away. The memory of Rin was still as strong in his mind as it had been on the night that he lost her. Kakashi exhaled and shook his head. "I don't want to talk about that."

"I don't need to know who you were before." Sakura spoke with enough authority that Kakashi almost believed his past didn't matter. "I only care about the person you are now, and that isn't a grumpy old man."

Kakashi laughed, the tension of the moment evaporating like a soap bubble. "I mean, I kind-of am. I'd much rather be at home reading a book by the fire than pretty much anything else."

"So, let's go home." Sakura's voice dropped to a low, seductive purr that made Kakashi's body twitch in response, despite his best effort to the contrary. As the date started to wind down, the invitation in her words became more obvious. Kakashi found himself wanting to be swayed by the woman's arguments about why it wouldn't be wrong to go home with her. As if she could read his mind, Sakura leaned closer. "I bet I could change your opinion."

"I'm sure you could," Kakashi answered. His head spun, and his throat was tight. Kami-sama, it had been a long time since he felt the curious combination of excitement and nausea that signaled butterflies in his stomach. He centered himself in reality, however. "But, there's something else that you should know about me. I'm old fashioned when it comes to relationships, especially so by your standards, I imagine."

Sakura frowned for a moment, dissecting the words. Then, she asked what Kakashi expected. "How old fashioned are we talking?"

"Old fashioned enough not to sleep with someone on a first date," Kakashi clarified, finishing off his water and pushing the glass away. "Especially after they've been drinking."

Something unreadable flitted through Sakura's eyes, but Kakashi couldn't figure out if it was respect or disappointment. Then, the woman grinned. "Bold of you to assume that was an invitation to sleep with me. I was going to make you some warm milk and tuck you in, old man."

Kakashi burst out laughing, a deep rumble in his chest that left behind a warm sensation. Sakura's eyes sparkled, and he suddenly knew that he'd do anything in his power to capture that look of pure pleasure on her face a second time. He wanted to make her repeat it in other circumstances, to be the one she reserved the look for.

Warmth settled comfortably behind Kakashi's cheek bones. "Would that make you my nurse, then?"

The burst of crimson on Sakura's face was worth the flush on Kakashi's. She stumbled over her words trying to respond, then her eyes grew dangerous. "I mean, I didn't know you were into roleplaying, but if that's how you want to—"

"Okay, you win." Kakashi loosened his collar a second time, worried that the blaze from his face might be strong enough to heat the entire room. He forced himself not to dwell on the image that Sakura had given him. If he thought about her in a nurse's outfit for too long, it might violate his personal morals and ethics, not to mention undermine the rules they'd just been talking about.

Sakura caught her lower lip between her teeth in a way that did nothing to help Kakashi regain his composure. "Amateur," she teased.

"Alright love birds, listen up! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here," Ino's voice came over the loudspeaker, drawing groans and complaints from the patrons. "Our time limit here is coming to a close. So, if you're still getting to know your partner, or they turned out to be a flop, join us for drinks at the Blue Room Bar. It's just down the street, and it's open until three!"

A cheer went through the room, underscoring Kakashi's realization that most of the people who'd taken part in this charity were younger than he'd expected. "Someone will be coming by to collect payments for additional alcohol purchased. We hope you all had an amazing night! From everyone here at Hearts of Fire, thanks for supporting us and the Wounded Warrior Project!"

Kakashi blinked as the lights in the room came back to full brightness, drawing groans from the crowd. The buzz of voices grew more prominent as chairs moved back from tables or people wrapped up their date. Sakura snagged another couple of bites of the dessert before pushing the plate away. Kakashi marveled at the idea that the time had passed as quickly as it had twenty. He pulled out his wallet, and Sakura paused in the middle of opening her purse. "What are you doing," she asked.

Kakashi set his credit card on the table and gave her a questioning stare. "I assumed it was obvious, but I'm paying for our drinks."

A waiter took Kakashi's card and swiped it through a square reader on his phone without really looking at them. After a few seconds, the boy handed it back and moved to the next table. One pink eyebrow arched prettily. "Aren't you worried that everyone is going to talk about how you paid to get me drunk on our first date, Professor Hatake?"

"Let them talk," Kakashi chuckled, fighting to keep a blush off his face at the sultry heat in Sakura's voice. "I'm going to order you an uber, as well."

"I take it the bar scene isn't really your thing?" Sakura closed her clutch as Kakashi shook his head. He couldn't imagine anything more torturous than spending the evening in a loud club surrounded by drunk people. Sakura nodded as if she understood. "It's not mine either, but I don't need an Uber. My apartment is just a couple blocks away."

Sakura pushed her chair back as the words left her mouth. She stood and tucked her clutch under one arm, then she lifted the roses from the side of the table. Kakashi followed, reluctant to let the evening end quite so soon. "Well then, may I walk you home at least?"

"It wouldn't be very old fashioned of you if you didn't," Sakura teased, waiting as another couple filed out of the room in front of her.

Kakashi chuckled and tipped his head. He'd considered offering to give her a ride home, but he wasn't going to drive tonight, even though he didn't feel buzzed from the alcohol he'd had. "I'd rather walk anyway," Kakashi confided. "It's a good night for it."

Sakura nodded in agreement as they moved toward the door with the few remaining couples. A swirl of blond slid between Kakashi and Sakura, wrapping itself around the woman. Kakashi stepped back to give Ino space from rubbing against him in her effort to reach her friend. The girl hooked an arm through Sakura's, pulling her around.

"Come on, forehead, aren't you going to come to the club with me," Ino whined in a sing-songy voice that grated on Kakashi's nerves as soon as it left the girl's mouth. "I've been working on this fundraiser for weeks. Now that it's time to let loose, I need my wingman." Seafoam blue eyes slid over Kakashi. "You can bring Teach if you really want to."

Bristling at the dismissive nickname, Kakashi moved further away to give the women more space. Sakura shook her head as something Ino said, and the blonde glanced in his direction. A soft hiss drew Ino's attention back to Sakura, and the pinkette's cheeks flushed. Kakashi wondered if the expression came from embarrassment or the alcohol they'd drank, though he supposed it hadn't been that much in hindsight. Though, any amount was enough to keep him from behind the wheel.

The conversation grew more animated, Ino tapping one foot against the ground in annoyance as Sakrua gestured with her hands. Kakashi stood a respectful distance away and forced himself not to try and read their lips. The room was almost empty enough for the voices to carry, but not quite. The space gave Kakashi time to make a plan for walking Sakura home, one that did not include sleeping with her if the opportunity arose. And, Kakashi was fairly certain that it would.

After a couple of minutes, Sakura approached Kakashi with a small smile. Ino watched him with a calculating glance over the woman's shoulder, but she didn't speak. She didn't need to, her eyes spoke volumes. Sakura touched Kakashi's forearm. "Are you ready?"

Nodding, Kakashi tipped his head to let Ino know that he understood her unspoken threat, then pushed the door open. A breeze whipped at Sakura's hair as they stepped into the chilly February air. Kakashi glanced back toward the door, half expecting to see Ino staring out the window at them, but they were alone. "So, is she angry because you're going home?"

Sakura shook her head as she turned to the left and started walking down the street. Kakashi matched stride easily, thankful to leave the noise behind them. "Not really, she knows that I'm busy tomorrow. I mean, she's annoyed, but she'll get over it soon. Ino is pretty enough to find someone else to occupy her attention tonight."

"So are you," Kakashi complimented. He felt a surge of pleasure in the step that Sakura missed, then the way she hurried to catch up to him before he continued. "No one would blame you for going out with your friends tonight."

"Tsunade-shishou would." Sakura shook her head, then crossed her arms over her chest as a chill ran through her body. Kakashi wondered if it was the cool night air, or the memory of Tenzo's adoptive aunt that left her shivering. Tsunade was notoriously difficult to please, but she was one of the best advisors in the medical program. Sakura either had the worst luck, or the best at getting the woman to oversee her training.

Humming in agreement, Kakashi slid an arm out of his jacket, then the other. He swept it over Sakura with an easy movement that startled her into stopping. The evening had gotten cold enough that the woman needed something besides a dress that left her shoulders bare. A slight smile twisted Kakashi's lips as Sakura struggled to hold the jacket shut with her free hand. "Would you like me to carry something?"

After a moment of consideration, Sakura held out the flowers. Taking them in one fist, Kakashi waited until the woman had settled the jacket more comfortably on herself before moving again. "Thanks," she murmured as they walked. After a short distance, Sakura cleared her throat and glanced over at Kakashi. "And, for the record, I'd rather be walking home with you than going out to drink with my friends."

"That's a poorly advised choice on your part." Kakashi bumped lightly against Sakura's side when they stopped to wait for a crossing light. "I'm not nearly as fun as your friends would be, I'm sure."

The woman gazed up through the street lights, the red and green from the traffic signals flashing across her , Sakura smiled. "Or, this is the best decision I've made in a while. It's all a matter of perspective."

Undeniable warmth opened in Kakashi's chest as the light changed color. Sakura caught his hand and dragged him forward with the tiniest amount of pressure. He wasn't sure how to respond to her statement, so he said nothing. After passing several buildings, Sakura turned toward one. "This is me."

The woman mounted the first two steps in front of the building without letting go of Kakashi's hand. His feet remained resolutely on the sidewalk, and the pressure pulled Sakura back toward him without any effort. She huffed out a breath and stared up at him with more than a hint of frustration. "You meant it, didn't you?"

Kakashi inclined his head, drinking in the details of Sakura's body wrapped in the silvery white of his jacket like a cloak. The chill had raised color on her cheeks and the tip of her nose, but it only made her more vivid against the backdrop of her apartment building . "I did," Kakashi answered, reluctance slowing his words. He exhaled in a slow stream, forcing himself not to pull her closer. "I do."

"I don't want the night to end here," Sakura whispered, tightening her hold on Kakashi. She glanced behind her at the door leading into the apartment building. "Why don't we just go upstairs and hang out for a little while. It's still early."

Kakashi chuckled and followed the woman's gaze. He brought his eyes back to Sakura's, dropping his voice. "Because, we both know where that would lead."

"Rules are made to be broken, you know that, right?" Sakura frowned at Kakashi, and the challenge in her gaze promised an unforgettable evening if he'd go back on his word. The hand that had been holding the jacket closed came to rest on the center of Kakashi's chest. Her fingers curled against the soft fabric of his shirt as she tipped her chin upward. It was a clear invitation for him to close the distance between them.

When Kakashi didn't kiss her, Sakura's eyes fluttered open. "Are you too old fashioned to kiss on the first date, too?"

"No," Kakashi breathed. He lifted Sakura's hand to press a feather light kiss to the skin. "But, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."

True to the words, Kakashi placed a second kiss on the inside of Sakura's wrist as he turned her hand over with his. He trailed his lips toward her forearm when her sleeve slid up from the angle. The soft, breathless gasp that left Sakura's throat was as intoxicating as it was dangerous. With her standing on the stairs, they were almost equal height. It made it difficult for Kakashi to think about anything except for how close her mouth was.

"You're a tease," Sakura whined. Her hand returned to Kakashi's shirt, pulling him through the space between them. Electricity jolted through his body when her lips brushed his chin instead of his mouth.

"Come upstairs with me," Sakura repeated; voice tight and breathless. "Just for a little while. You don't have to stay all night."

Kakashi's resolve wavered and he leaned close enough to brush his lip against Sakura's ear. When he spoke, the heat of his breath left her shivering. "Happy Valentine's Day, and goodnight, Sakura."

Pulling away took all of Kakashi's self control, but he made himself do it. His heart pounded a staccato inside his chest that he couldn't deny. He offered the roses that he'd carried home for Sakura, and she stared at him with the most beautiful expression of longing and annoyance that he'd ever seen.

Sighing, Sakura took the flowers and shook her head as Kakashi turned away. He almost missed the words she said next. "You can't stop me from thinking about you tonight," she purred.

Kakashi closed his eyes for two seconds, self control warring with the desire to throw caution to the wind. The former won, however, and he winked over his shoulder at the woman behind him. "I'm counting on it."

#My writing #KakaSaku #KakaSakuVDay #Modern AU #First Date #Awkward Humor #Confessions #This story is a mess that I love dearly

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neraawritesxx · 6 years

Text

i wish

pairing: kakashi x sakura genre: romance, drama, humor, nsfw word count: 13,935 rating: mature

↬ note: So, I finally got around to finishing one of my Secret Santa gifts for my discord server. This piece of work is dedicated to YummyFoods! I hope you had a wonderful holiday, hun. Also, special shout out to @mummapaintstheblues for keeping my sane throughout this entire writing process. I wouldn’t know what I would do without you bby ~

September 30th, 2018

"Don't you even think about it, Forehead." Ino's threat is thinly veiled, but there is no real hostility behind her words.

Sakura blinks, suddenly being pulled from her reverie. The bar is dimly lit and smoky with the pungent scent of stale beer and…something else she can't quite put her finger on. The heavy rock music pulsing through the speakers is more background noise than anything else, and unfortunately for the patrons who paid money on the jukebox, the tunes are drowned out by the brash group of bikers who take up the far corner of the bar.

She's not sure why Ino brought them all here for a girl's night out. It's not their typical scene for a Friday night, but then again, the blonde always had a soft spot for the local hole in the wall. Cheap, watered down liquor and all.

Sakura turns her head towards Ino, with an eyebrow raised, and asks, "What are you talking about, Pig?"

"I see you staring at the door. Don't even think about leaving."

Sakura grimaces and Ino scoffs, eyes nearly rolling into the back of her skull. She throws an arm over the back of Sakura’s chair and leans in close to deliver her next words. "I know what you're thinking. Stop. It took me two weeks to plan tonight around everyone's schedules. You're going to keep your pretty little butt planted in that seat, have another drink, and enjoy our girl’s night out. That is final."

Sakura's nose wrinkles with her displeasure at being scolded like a child, but she says nothing in retaliation. She swats Ino’s arm off the back of her seat and turns her attention to the cocktail in front of her. It’s some obnoxiously blue citrus drink that TenTen ordered for her. She has no idea what’s in it, nor is she too keen to try and find out, so she fiddles with the straw instead.

Sakura could play dumb, deny that she wasn't thinking about coming up with an excuse that would lead to her inevitable escape. She knows Ino wouldn’t fall for it though, so she doesn’t offer any type of apology and keeps her head held high. Unfortunately, now that the topic has been openly addressed, it doesn’t merely end with Ino’s brusque and portentous command. It’s now time for everyone at the table to give their two cents. TenTen is the first to voice her opinion on the matter.

"Oh, leave her alone, will you Ino? She just misses her man, and I can't say that I blame her."

A hot flush of embarrassment crawls its way up Sakura’s neck, staining her chest and cheeks crimson. She buries her face in both of her hands and groans softly, trying to keep the sullen note out of her cry, but it’s to no avail. It sounds pathetic even to her own ears.

"TenTen!" This time it’s Hinata who cuts in.

"What!?" Tenten exclaims, and it sounds almost remorseful – almost.

Sakura raises her head just enough to level TenTen with a baleful glare between her splayed fingers. The brunette takes this as a challenge, however, and meets Sakura’s soured look with a matching one of her own.

TenTen tosses her arms open, looks around the table, and challenges the entire group with, “Someone tell me I'm wrong! Go on!”

She's not wrong. Sakura knows it, TenTen knows it, Ino and Hinata and everyone else within their friend group, even those who weren’t present, know it.

However, Sakura would rather not be faced with the uncomfortably awkward topic that is her current relationship status. Nor does she want to hear Ino harp on what she firmly believes is the right course of action for Sakura to take. They’ve gone through this same scenario a handful of times now and it has only ever lead to one thing: an argument.

When no one raises to her taunt, Ino – shockingly – included, TenTen drops her hands into her lap, sitting further back in her chair with an air of triumph. Her eyes drift over to Sakura, who has now fully come out of her hiding spot and offers her a small, delicate smile.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Sakura. A few years back, when I had that internship in Suna, I was forced to leave Neji behind. It was hard. Really hard. I went from living with my boyfriend and seeing him every day, to a phone call or maybe a FaceTime, three times a week. I missed him so much, and I didn’t give two shits about who knew it or not. You’re allowed to miss him, Sakura."

Sakura considers her words, feels somewhat pacified by them, enough so to let her shoulders droop. She runs a hand through her hair, twirling the ends between her pointer and middle fingers.

"Oh please," Ino mutters narrowly. It’s dry and mocking and oh so condescending and immediately Sakura is put on the edge.

And this is precisely why Sakura was worried to begin with: the judgment.

Best friends are there to keep you grounded, to slap you with the harsh reality of any situation. Ino and Sakura are no exception to those rules. They worry about one another, take care of each other, and Sakura wouldn’t have it any other way. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean Sakura wants to hear about what Ino believes she is at fault for.

Especially right now.

She would rather not get read the third degree about her current relationship in a shady ass bar on the outskirts of town, who's main populace is bikers. But, like clockwork, Ino doesn’t disappoint. Her judgment is harsh and swift.

"You guys are blowing this whole thing out of proportion. They aren't even really dating. It’s not a real relationship. There's nothing for her to miss.”

And that is…well, that is the real brunt of the issue, isn’t it?

Again, Sakura rather not deal with this under the influence of alcohol, but Ino’s words are like a hard slap to the face. Sakura isn’t about to sit back and let her pick apart what little happiness she’s managed to cling onto. Anger flashes hot in her blood and Sakura grits out her retort before she even has a chance to think about it.

“And you’re the expert how? Like your relationship with Genma is so picture perfect. How’s Kurenai? I’ve heard she and Genma have been spending a lot of time together recently."

Her words are snappish and harsh, and the entire thing comes off a lot more confrontational and abrasive then Sakura intends. But she’s pissed off and upset with what Ino has been saying over the last couple of weeks. Sakura knows it’s a lie. A downright dirty lie that isn’t even based on some semblance of the truth, but then again, Sakura doesn’t need it to be true; she needs it to wound. That small, dark, vindictive side of her wants Ino to hurt just a fraction as much as she hurts right now.

The funny thing about revenge though, that spitefulness and greed, is that it’s like a plume of smoke. It’s there, it’s tangible and real, but when you reach out for it, you’re grasping at nothing but air. It’s fleeting, just like the smug pride that puffs out Sakura’s chest just a handful of seconds before Ino’s face falls.

That’s when Sakura knows she’s fucked up.

Sakura immediately scrambles to try and correct her mistake. She leans across the table, reaching for Ino, but the blonde evades her gasp by pushing back in her chair and standing up from the table.

“I need another drink,” Ino announces bleakly. Without waiting for anyone to comment, she spins on her heels and walks over to the bar.

There’s a beat of silence, then the sound of another chair scraping against the wooden floor is heard.

“Well, that escalated quickly,” TenTen jokes as she stands, but it falls flat. Her eyes soften as she takes in the stricken expression that has crossed Sakura’s face. She pats Sakura’s shoulder once, then twice, lips curling into a lopsided smile. “Don’t worry about her. She just needs some time to cool off. You’re both so hot-headed and stubborn sometimes. I’m surprised you two don’t come to blows more often.”

The lighthearted remark causes the corner of Sakura’s mouth to twitch, but the smile doesn’t hold. TenTen takes it as a victory anyway.

There’s a loud holler from across the room, and all three pairs of eyes search for the source of the interruption. None of them are all that surprised to find Ino sitting on a bar stool, surrounded by the group of bikers, shot glasses raised in the air in salute.

“I’m going to go make sure she doesn’t drink herself silly,” TenTen states, amusement apparent. Hinata buries her fit of giggles behind her hand and Sakura’s smirk is a tad rueful. “Be back in a bit.”

Sakura watches as TenTen treks across the room, skillfully maneuvering past one of the men that tries to put an arm around her. She smoothly sidles up next to Ino, occupying the bar stool beside her. Sakura observes them talking for a bit, sees them both laugh at a joke that TenTen tells, and releases a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She turns her attention back to their table and is surprised to find Hinata’s pale eyes surveying her.

“TenTen is right you know,” the quiet woman declares. “Just give her some time. She’ll get over it.”

Sakura hums her agreement, head nodding slowly, almost absentmindedly. “I know she means well. It doesn’t excuse what I said, though.”

Hinata offers a nod of her own. “No, it doesn’t. Then again, that’s what friends are for. We’re used to the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. We forgive one another, even for hurtful words.”

The table falls silent after that and Sakura takes the time to mull over the entire situation, teeth digging into the flesh of her bottom lip. She becomes lost in thought for a while, not that Hinata seems to mind. It’s her cell phone ringing that breaks her from her trance. Sakura looks down at the device just as Kakashi’s face lights up her screen.

Instinctively, Sakura hits the mute button, cutting off the cheery chime of her ringtone. She glances at Hinata, who’s is pleasantly occupied with watching Sakura’s phone light up again with another incoming call.

Brow arched, Hinata probes, “Are you going to answer that?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” Sakura affirms and toggles her gaze from the tabletop to the other side of the bar to where TenTen and Ino are still occupied.

The unspoken reason why Sakura won’t answer Kakashi’s call hangs in the air between them. Sakura can feel Hinata’s stare drilling a hole into the side of her head, and she mentally prepares herself for another verbal lashing. However, the question that comes out of Hinata’s mouth is the complete opposite of what Sakura expects.

“You look pale. Do you feel dizzy or sick at all?”

“What?”

“I said,” Hinata reiterates with some emphasis. “Do you feel dizzy at all? Like you need some air? It’s probably because of all the smoke in the room. Maybe you should go out back and take a few minutes to collect yourself.”

Sakura stares, and stares, and stares; brows drawn down and lips parted in her confusion. It takes longer than Sakura would like to admit – and Hinata clearing her throat, looking pointedly at Sakura’s cellphone and awkwardly jerking her chin in the direction of the hallway that leads to the alley out back – but, revelation finally dawns.

Hinata is giving her an out.

They both know that Ino wouldn’t let Sakura hear the end of it if she were to leave unannounced, especially after everything that has occurred, but under the guise of needing some air…well, that just might work.

Without another word, Sakura stands from the table, phone in hand, and beelines for the back exit. The door hasn’t even closed fully behind her before Sakura has her phone tucked between her shoulder and the side of her face, the dial tone blaring in her ear.

The night air is humid and somewhat sticky but not so unbearable with the soft breeze blowing through the alleyway. She finds herself nervously pacing, waiting for him to answer. He picks up on the fifth ring.

“Hey,” He greets in that calm, cool tenor, albeit somewhat breathless.

At the sound of his voice, the entire world around her ceases to exist. It halts and melts away until there is nothing left but her and him.

“Hey, yourself,” She returns, fighting back an elated smile. Sakura stops walking around in circles and presses herself against the brick wall next to the bar’s back door. She untucks the phone from her chin, holding it to her ear with her right hand. “Sorry I missed your calls before, I’m actually –”

Her explanation is cut short by the sound of a dog barking in the background on Kakashi’s line.

“Is that Pakkun?” She asks, bemused.

Kakashi chuckles. The sound causes warmth to bloom in Sakura’s chest. She loves that sound.

“Yeah, it is. It’s like he knows when I’m talking to you. Hey Pakkun, you wanna say ‘hi’ to Sakura?”

There’s more barking on the other end of the line and Sakura makes a few cooing noises into the receiver. They both laugh when Pakkun howls his own greeting.

“So,” he hums. “How was your day?”

She doesn’t tell him about the argument with Ino, nor does she tell him that she has snuck away from her friends and found solace in the alley behind Konoha’s local watering hole. Instead, they talk about everything and nothing. He tells her about a new podcast that he’s been listening to recently, and she fills him in on some of the cases that she has taken over at the hospital. Sakura is overly pleased to be speaking with him, so much so, that she loses track of time.

When Ino barrels through the back door on unsteady feet, Sakura squeaks in surprise. Ino whips her head around at the noise, taking in the scene with bleary, unfocused eyes.

“Sakura?” Kakashi calls. He sounds worried and Sakura does her best to try and not be too delighted by that. She shouldn’t be ecstatic that he’s panicking over her. “Is everything alright?”

“Uh…yeah. Everything is fine, Kakashi,” Sakura assures, knowing that it won’t placate him in the slightest. “I’ve got to go, though. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

He clears his throat, and there’s a rustle on the other side of the line like he’s moving around. Sakura can tell that Kakashi is a bit put off by her abrupt end to their conversation by the way he begrudgingly replies with, “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll call you after work tomorrow.”

Sakura offers her goodbyes and goodnights, then hangs up the phone and pushes off the wall before sliding the device into the back pocket of her jeans. A hushed stillness descends on the alley, thick and stifling, but Sakura wisely chooses to let Ino take the lead on whatever is about to play out.

Ino breaks the ice with a slurred, “You know I didn’t mean what I said before, right?”

Sakura dips her chin towards her chest and offers a wan, but apologetic smile. “I know you didn’t. I’m sorry for what I said also.” She peeks out at Ino from underneath her lashes. “Forgive me?”

“Forgiven,” Ino confirms with a solemn nod. She wanders over to where Sakura is standing and leans against the wall on one shoulder. “I’m just concerned about you, Forehead. I’ve never seen you like this with a guy before. Well…not since Sasuke.”

At Sakura’s hate-filled glower, Ino throws her hands up in a placating gesture, but her grin is impish. “Okay, okay, bad joke. I’m sorry. Seriously though, boyfriend or not, you care about Kakashi. Why don’t you tell him how you feel or, at least, talk things out? Why are you both okay with this weird ‘we should be dating, but we don’t like to be adults and address our feelings’ thing that you two have going on?”

And that is the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

Why is she so afraid to tell Kakashi how she feels?

Everything about Kakashi fascinates her; from his explosive wit, to the flirtatious way he touches her, to the way he let her read over his shoulder when he is nose deep in those smutty books of his.

His smiles always reach his eyes, and he never minces his words. He isn’t afraid to break out a sarcastic quip or a tactless comment, even if the situation doesn’t call for it. Sakura understands he is quiet when he has nothing to say, and that it is often mistaken for aloofness. The more time she spends with him, the more she can read his moods, and it seems…he lives his life freely. There is no careful containment of his emotions, no order to his chaos. He doesn’t care if he is offensive or nice. Kakashi is Kakashi, not someone else’s idea of what he should be.

Sakura had been envious of him when she first met him. It must be nice, she remembers thinking. No restrictions. No expectations. No fear.

It’s what drew her to him in the first place.

Their romance wasn’t some whirlwind. There was no love at first sight, no candlelit dinners, or carving a heart with their initials into the bark of some tree.

No, Kakashi and Sakura started their relationship ass-backward. Cue one very sloppy, drunken one-night stand that left them both embarrassed, unsatisfied, and hoping that they would never cross paths again.

Unfortunately for both of them, their liberal arts college had a requirement that all freshman needed to take a welcoming seminar. The point of the class was to assist them with the transition from a high school environment to that of a university. It was a bullshit class, an easy A to put on her transcript, something that should have gone off without a hitch. However, when she came to class on that first day and found out that her partner was the guy who she slept with on a whim, two nights prior, things had gotten a little uncomfortable.

It hadn’t been easy. Kakashi was just as thrown off by the circumstances as she was, and they tiptoed around one another consistently, walking on eggshells. Neither wanting to address what happened, but the issue weighing heavy on both of their shoulders. She brought him coffee one morning, about three weeks in, and that seemed to help ease the tension. They worked together to the best of their combined abilities from there on out.

And when the semester came to a close, they just kind of…stuck together.

She couldn’t tell when it happened.

When had late night cram sessions and take-out and passing encouraging messages written on review notes turned into this? When had their usual brand of camaraderie turned into something that could mean so much more?

She can't place that moment in time where their relationship shifted from exchanging inappropriate comments in the lounge of their dorm building to this deep sense of companionship.

Because Kakashi Hatake? Well, she felt something for him – something completely and undeniably real — a kind of kinship; a connection; a sense of belonging, like they were two people who, at their bare bones, understood each other. But she didn’t know if she has earned the right to feel that way, especially about him.

What she is sure about though, is that Kakashi has always been there. Since that first night at the party, throughout all four years; the ups and the downs, the good and the really, really bad – like that one incident where a professor accused her of plagiarizing her midterm paper – Kakashi has always been by her side, and that was more than Sakura could ever hope to ask for.

Kakashi wasn’t her first choice in a man, nor was he her second or even her third, but no one else in her life was as concerned about the little things like he was. He texted her to remind her to eat on her busier days, dropped off notes when she was sick and couldn't make it to lectures, and was even open to being the designated driver on the nights that they went out. He was a pain in the ass most of the time, like a nagging mother, but he was her pain in the ass, and one of her best friends.

When graduation came along, and Kakashi was offered a position in an up and coming law firm in Iwa, she encouraged him to go with a smile.

And after he left, Sakura tried to put her pieces back together because that’s what you do when someone you love leaves. You pick up the pieces and make them work again, somehow.

And yet.

And yet…she really fucking misses him, and there is nothing that she can do to fill that void. His presence in her life is unmistakably irreplaceable, and she knows that he feels it too. All this unspoken shit that continues to grow between them needs to be addressed, but a phone call or a video chat isn’t the proper way to handle it.

He deserves better. They deserve better.

“I don’t know, Ino,” Sakura murmurs dejectedly, breaking herself from her train of thought. “I really don’t know.”

Ino pushes off the wall, flicks her ponytail over her shoulder, then gives Sakura a long perusal from head to toe. She huffs, throws an arm around Sakura’s shoulders, and with all the overzealous flare and dramatics of an inebriated person – which includes a lot of strange hand motions and head bobbing – proceeds to tell Sakura all the reasons why she needs to ‘man up' and 'tell that bastard how you really feel'.

By the end of Ino's rant, Sakura doesn't know whether she wants to laugh or to cry, maybe a combination of the two, but she does feel better about the entire Kakashi situation and where she and Ino stand on it.

"Seriously, Forehead," Ino states. "What am I going to do with you? Your love life is a mess. I thought I raised you better than this."

Sakura responds with an unladylike snort and nudges Ino's side with her shoulder.

"I don't know about my love life, but I do know that I could use a drink. Let's head back inside. I want to be on your level by the end of the night."

"Fuck yes! This calls for shots!"

-⇞-

October 15th, 2018

“Sakura, will you please put your phone away and help us? I’m struggling over here!”

Naruto’s whine goes unheard and unnoticed by Sakura. She instead focuses on holding her camera steady, lining up the perfect shot to capture a photo of an absurdly robust pumpkin in the middle of the patch. It takes a minute or two, but she finally snaps a picture that she likes. Sakura swipes right on the touch screen a few times, finds a filter that makes the entire photo pop with color and adds a silly, little gif-sticker of a person dancing in a pumpkin costume to the bottom right corner.

Sakura posts the photo to her Snapchat story, sends Kakashi an individual copy, then shoves her phone into her sweatshirt pocket.

When she turns back towards Naruto and Sasuke, they are both leveling her with varying looks of contempt – though, to Sasuke’s credit, that’s his typical facial expression. He looks more bored than pissed off.

“What?” She asks innocently.

Sasuke grunts and shakes his head, but doesn't say anything. He rearranges his arms more securely around the two pots of mums he has in his hands and then pushes past Naruto, cutting his way across the field and into the parking lot.

Sakura rolls her eyes and closes the distance between herself and Naruto, taking one of the pumpkins awkwardly balanced within his grasp. He releases a sigh of relief at her assistance, adjusts the two remaining gourds in his grip and starts to take off after Sasuke, Sakura falling into step beside him.

Most of their walk is in companionable silence; Naruto occupied with making sure he doesn't drop the pumpkins they paid a pretty penny for, and Sakura content with watching hordes of children running around the grounds with their parents hot on their heels.

They are halfway to the car when Naruto ventures to ask, "Where has your mind been all day? You've done nothing but check your phone every five minutes."

Sakura nearly trips at his question, boots scuffing along the gravel. Thankfully she doesn't harm or destroy her precious cargo.

"I have not!" She tries to deny, but Naruto is giving her that look. It's the same look that Ino gives her whenever they've broached the same topic over the last couple of days. It's the 'you're-not-fucking-fooling-me-now-spill-it' look. Sometimes, Sakura swears that her friends are all conspiring against her.

She tries to think of the best way to explain it. It's not like she's kept Kakashi as a dirty little secret from Naruto and Sasuke. It's just...well, given the history that she shares with her two childhood friends, it is a bit uncomfortable. How do you address your dating life to the two overprotective lugs who have chased away most of your romantic prospects over the years? Especially when one of those lugs used to be a romantic prospect?

"It's that guy from undergrad, isn't it? What was his name again? Hatake, right?"

Both Naruto and Sakura look up at the sound of Sasuke's voice. He's leaning against the bumper of Naruto's beat up pickup truck, arms crossed, looking all the bit off-put as he usually does.

"Is that true?" Naruto quires, turning from Sasuke to Sakura, head comically cocked to one side like a confused puppy.

She bristles, but it's not out of embarrassment at being caught red-handed. It's out of general annoyance that Sasuke always seems to know what's going on in her life even before she does.

"How the hell do you know that?" Sakura snaps, the inquiry clipped and measured.

Sasuke smirks. It's that trademark, 'I'm-an-insufferable-bastard- and-I-know-everything' simper that, once upon a time, Sakura turned into a pile of mush over. To this day, she looks back on her high school self and wonders what caused her to think Sasuke Uchiha was the bee's knees.

"It's not like you're hiding it very well," Sasuke explains, his dull tone matching his flat affect. "You two were close in university. Freakishly, attached-at-the-hip close. You constantly talk about him or bring him up in conversation, and you don’t even realize it. It’s like it’s natural for you to talk about him. Plus...," If possible Sasuke's smile grows all the more condescending. "He's your top best friend on Snapchat."

“Ohhh,” Naturo screeches, excitement mounting. “You know what that means!”

Embarrassment tickles along the expanse of the back of her neck, hot and apparent. Sakura scowls, gritting her teeth and tries to ignore the sudden rise in her body temperature.

"What are you, my stalker now?"

Her jibe doesn't garner her the reaction that she would have preferred. Sasuke outright disregards her and Naruto bursts into a fit of giddy snickers. Sakura somehow finds herself once again overcome with the shocking realization that these two idiots are like brothers to her. Two brothers that are pushing her into dangerous territory. The ‘were-gonna-talk-about-the-birds-and-the-bees’ territory and Sakura is not sure she wants to have this conversation once again in so few weeks.

Turning her nose up, Sakura strides over to the back of the truck and tosses the pumpkin she was carrying over the lip of the bed. Sasuke and Naruto’s combined bemusement follows her as she makes her way to the passenger side door, but Sakura keeps her chin held high and with as much dignity as one who is exceptionally flustered can muster, climbs into the truck, slamming the door behind her.

It's a few more minutes before the boys join her in the car, Naruto sliding into the middle seat between Sasuke and Sakura from the driver's side. The first half of their trip home is spent in an increasingly painful bout of silence, nothing but Sasuke's classical playlist filling the stillness of the vehicle.

It's Sasuke, astonishingly, breaks their self-imposed quietude.

"Ino brought it to our attention a few days ago. The whole thing with you and Hatake." His eyes slide from the road to Sakura. It's not a stern or sardonic look; it's a look that tells her to keep her mouth shut while he explains further. Sakura does right by him and actually listens for once. "And before you go off the handle about her spilling your little secret to us, she wholeheartedly wanted our opinions on the matter."

Naruto cuts in eagerly, gesturing with his hands while he speaks. "She's worried about you, you know? The whole 'I don't want her to end up alone' thing that all you girls all panic over. She wanted us to see if we could figure out what's holding you back from finally putting yourself out there with this guy."

He leans in close for his next words, resting his head in the nook between her next and shoulder.

"And imagine our surprise, Sakura-chan, that we had to find out you were seeing a man, behind our backs, from Ino of all people!" Naruto's childish antics bleed through his mock upset. He pouts his his lips and bats his eyes, but he's smiling, and Sakura doesn't fall for his games.

"He wasn't a secret per se," she whispers sheepishly, shrugging Naruto off. She doesn't let him get far though. Before he can fully recover from her shove, Sakura tucks herself against his side, resting her head on his chest. One of his arms comes across her back, pulling her closer.

Sasuke huffs one of those weird sorts of breaths that you can’t tell if he’s amused or aggravated. She thinks it the former, though. It's the closest thing to a laugh that she's heard from him in years. "Then why didn't you tell us about him?"

"I…don't know," Sakura reluctantly admits, waving a hand helplessly before letting it fall into her lap. "The whole thing is confusing. We're confusing. I’m not entirely sure where we’re going or even what I’m looking for. I know how I feel, but I don’t even know how he feels. Besides…talking about my sex life, or lack thereof, with the two of you is the last thing that I want to do.”

The mention of Sakura and sexual intercourse in the same sentence throws Naruto and Sasuke for a loop, much like she figured it would. Naruto releases an indignant squeak and squirms uncomfortably in his seat. His dismay is rolling off of him in waves, and Sakura feels the rise and fall of his chest as he tries to gather his bearings. Sasuke…well, Sasuke looks like he’s about as uncomfortable as someone would be if they swallowed broken glass.

“Did you…did you sleep with him Sakura?” Naruto bravely asks.

Sakura harrumphs. It’s weird, trying to have a conversation with her ear pressed to Naruto’s chest. She shifts, readjusts herself and places her head against his shoulder instead. "Out of everything that I just said, that's the only thing that stuck out? Seriously? Do you guys think I am some twenty-three-year-old virgin?"

“Change of topic. Right now,” Sasuke begs. “Please.”

Naruto snorts dryly. “We’re in the presence of an asexual being, Sakura. No inappropriate talk allowed.” There’s a beat, and the atmosphere in the car changes. The humor is gone. Then, Naruto continues in that sinfully serious, considerate tone of his, “You know, if he makes you happy, we would never be opposed to the two of you being together.”

“Hn.”

And that admission warms Sakura, right down to her very core. “I know,” she says quietly. “Thank you.”

The remainder of the car ride passes with Naruto making snippy remarks about Sasuke’s driving. As they arrive just outside the city limits, their bickering escalating into something that could potentially put all three of them into a dangerous situation, Sakura’s phone begins to ring in rapid succession. She wiggles slightly in Naruto’s arms, pulling her cell from her sweatshirt pocket. The screen is filled with notifications of missed messages, one from Ino and multiple from Kakashi.

"Your boyfriend?" Sasuke inquires. He doesn't try to hide the entirely smug tilt in his voice.

"He's not my boyfriend," Sakura corrects.

Naruto interjects with, "Well, technically, he kinda is. Or rather, he's not your boyfriend, yet. That's the keyword: yet."

"You two are insufferable."

"Don't not answer on our account," Naruto says. He's wearing a grin so wide it causes his eyes to crinkle in the corners. "Please, carry on. Pretend like we're not here. Hell, call him if you would like. We won’t say a word. Right, Sasuke?"

Sakura quickly jerks her elbow, catching Naruto in the ribs. "Not gonna happen. Do you think I’m dumb enough to get him on the phone in the presence of you two?"

“Ohhh, she’s embarrassed, Sasuke. She doesn’t want to show us what she’s like with Kakashi. Look at our little Sakura, all grown up with a boyfriend.”

“Hn.”

“Will you two shut up!”

-⇞-

Later on, long after the boys have dropped her off at her apartment, raided her pantry and left behind a mess for her to clean, Sakura Facetimes Kakashi to tell him about her day. She informs him of Sasuke and Naruto’s teasing and about how, inadvertently, he has gained their seal of approval as her ‘not real boyfriend.’

She says it as a joke, something lighthearted and playful that they can both laugh at, but Kakashi doesn’t see the humor in the situation like she thought he would.

He’s quiet and contemplative and looks far too serious as he mulls over her words.

“…Is everything alright?” She eventually asks. This isn’t like him. He’s never this quiet, not with her.

Kakashi starts at her question, like he has forgotten Sakura is on the other side of the video call. “No, no. It’s nothing. I uh…I gotta go. I promised Genma I’d give him a call after work. Something about Ino and some fight they had. You know, guy stuff. I’ll message you sometime tomorrow.”

Before Sakura can sarcastically quip that relationship advice isn’t exactly his forte, Kakashi has already hung up on her without so much as a proper goodbye.

Judging by the lack of missed calls or text messages from Ino, Sakura knows Kakashi is lying about the Genma scenario.

And She’s not entirely sure how she feels about that.

-⇞-

October 31st, 2018

"Well?" Sakura asks. "What do you think?"

Kakashi is uncharacteristically silent, and Sakura turns from where she is admiring her costume in the mirror to stare at her phone screen propped up on her dresser.

He has an odd look on his face, a cross between exasperation and unease and…longing? She’s not quite sure what to make of it. Things have been off between the two of them for the last couple of weeks. Kakashi’s been avoiding her. Their video calls are now few and far between, and if she does happen to rope him into a regular phone call, they don’t chat for long.

Sakura’s trying her best not to let it get to her, but it's not as easy as she would have initially thought. She thought she missed him when he left, but she finds herself yearning for his attention and validation even now.

“What is it?”

His reply is instantaneous. “You’re going out…wearing that?”

Sakura looks down at her witch’s costume. Sure, the black dress was a little too short for her liking, and the neckline was a lot less modest then she would have preferred, but it was cute and it fit her nicely, plus the bell sleeves really pulled the whole thing together. It also had a hood, and in the absence of buying a pointed hat, that was the next best thing.

She frowns. “What’s wrong with it?”

On the other side of their FaceTime call, Kakashi snorts. “I can see your thighs.”

“I’m wearing stockings. You can’t see anything.”

“You have a lot of makeup on.”

“I’m supposed to be a witch, Kakashi. You know, ‘double, double toil and trouble,’ and all that dramatic flair? Makeup pulls the whole look together.”

“You don’t have a hat. You can’t be a witch without a hat.”

Sakura reaches behind her and pulls the hood over her head. It rests haphazardly over her curled hair, but she doesn’t make any move to straighten it. “Boom. Who needs a hat when you have a hood? Next.”

She crosses her arms and watches as Kakashi’s eyes narrow to slits before slowly trailing down the column of her neck.

In a last-ditch effort, he proudly exclaims, “You’re showing a lot of skin.”

Sakura jaw drops open, but her stupefaction is short lived as irritation fights its way to the forefront. “If you’re talking about my cleavage, you know from firsthand experience that there’s not that much to show. My chest is basically nonexistent.”

Kakashi grumbles and turns away from her. He’s sulking, brooding in his silence. Sakura can’t figure out for the life of her why he’s acting like this. And then, finally, it dawns on her and Sakura has to fight down the unexpected bout of laughter that begins to bubble in her chest.

"Are…are you jealous?"

Her query is met with the response she expects. Kakashi burrows further into the pillows at his back, bottom lip jutted out like a pouting child, still refusing to look at her through the phone screen.

“That’s what this is, isn’t it? You’re jealous and upset that I look good.”

“You look great,” He corrects, and if it weren’t for his deadpan manner, Sakura would have taken it as a real compliment.

“Don’t change the subject. Is that what’s been going on with you, lately? Some kind of…of warped jealousy that’s been making you act all weird.”

She watches the line of his shoulders tense at her accusation, watches as the muscle in his jaw ticks in indignation, and Sakura knows she’s hit the nail right on the head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, bullshit. Ever since I went pumpkin picking with Naruto and Sasuke, you’ve been acting strangely. You don’t call or reach out as much, and even if we do talk, it’s always a one-sided conversation.”

Her frustration is mounting and Sakura knows better than to put him on the spot like this. Kakashi never reacts well under pressure, but she can’t help it. Whatever his reason is for acting the way that he has needs to be addressed now or it will eat away at her for the rest of the evening. It may be selfish of her, but she is not ruining her Halloween night because he’s in a bad mood.

“Hell,” She accuses, palm smacking the top of her dresser as an outlet to her aggravation. “You can barely stand to look at me right now!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Sakura. You’re right. I’m pissed off! How would you feel if the person you were interested in makes your feelings the butt of a joke with her two dimwitted childhood friends?”

Sakura stills, shoulders slumping as the ferocity drains out of her. "What...what did you just say?"

Kakashi's face is an otherworldly shade of purplish-red, and if Sakura weren't so shocked by what she just heard, she would have told him to call a doctor. From the bottom of his chin to the tips of his ears, his mortification and horror stain his face in blotchy patches of crimson. He tries to fix his little slip by hastily backpedaling.

"No...it was just...I uh, didn't mean it that way."

She's not going to give him an inch. "What way did you mean it then, Kakashi?"

He doesn't answer and Sakura is left with nothing else to do but stare at his image on her phone screen, wringing her hands in uncertainty.

How have they gotten to this point?

They talk every day, but they really don't communicate well with one another, do they?

Sakura understands and accepts that half of the blame is her own, but despite her efforts, everything over the last five years has come to a head. This was the issue with the dance of courtship. Especially a courtship as misconstrued and messed up as their own.

"I wanted to tell you," Kakashi finally says. He runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends as he derails. "I wanted to sit down and talk to you about this when I was home for Christmas this year. I wanted to lay everything out on the table and finally address this thing going on between us, and see if we could move forward from here...together. But then you started talking about Naruto and Sasuke, and they made a joke of our relationship, and you laughed along with them, and I know –"

"Kakashi, stop talking."

"You know, that's really kind of rude to say to someone who's confessing their feelings for you."

"Kakashi, stop talking."

And he does. He listens, he always listens to her, but he's not happy about it. He's frowning, lips pressed together in a taut, thin line. Sakura takes a deep breath, then another, and then another. When she finally feels the flush of her impatience leave her cheeks, she says, "I have been crazy about you since sophomore year."

He doesn't respond to her admittance. He looks shocked and angry and a bit relieved, and Sakura has a hard time keeping up with all of the emotions that are crossing his face. His eyes never leave her, though. They bore into her, grounding her. They are dark and stormy and smoldering, and for a long moment, Sakura forgets how to breathe.

Eventually, she proceeds with, "I can't tell you when my feelings changed, but they have, and I'm not sorry about that. I want you to know that my intentions of telling you about Sasuke and Naruto wasn't to hurt you or make a joke of your feelings. I didn’t know how you felt. They both, including Ino, have been pressuring me for the last month to talk to you about everything. About how I feel...and if you're serious about this...about us, then so am I. I'm all in. So, I’m going to ask: are you?"

Her profession brings back that alarming violet color to his cheeks. Sakura, with all the patience of a saint, gives him time to collect himself and Kakashi readily takes it. The way he processes her confession brings about a new myriad of emotions. His face contorts from apparent shock to pleasure, then he grimaces sheepishly, then stares at her blankly for a long while. After a few minutes pass, the corner of his mouth curls up, slowly, then the other.

And before long, he’s smiling.

It's a big, goofy, megawatt grin that lights up his entire being and radiates his absolute elation at the turn of events. Sakura doesn't think she's ever seen him look so happy.

Kakashi swallows thickly, then releases one, long, drawn-out exhale. His voice is heavy and heady with emotion when he murmurs, "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that."

“Fucking finally!” A voice shouts from the doorway.

Sakura yelps in surprise and turns to find Ino leaning against her bedroom door frame. She’s dressed to the nines in her rendition of a modern Jessica Rabbit costume and Sakura finds that it’s a bit difficult to keep her eyes solely on Ino’s face. Showing a lot of skin, indeed.

“I tried knocking,” Ino enlightens, observing Sakura’s befuddled look. “But you didn’t answer and the front door was open, so I let myself in. Now, though, I can see why you were too busy to answer the door.”

Ino looks at the cell phone propped up on Sakura's dresser and her grin broadens. Though Kakashi can’t see her from that angle, Ino gives a tiny, coy wave of her fingers in the direction of the device.

"Hello Kakashi," she sings.

"Hi, Ino," he politely returns.

Sakura smacks her forehead with her palm and grumbles.

-⇞-

November 9th 2018

It has been a shitty week. A really fucking shitty week and all Sakura wants to do is go home, crawl into her bed, wrap herself into a bundle of blankets and pillows, and sleep for the next three days.

One of her long-term patients at the hospital took a critical turn, and despite her best efforts, he passed away in the middle of her shift the night before. Dealing with the family and the paperwork was one matter, but the emotional turmoil sitting heavy in the pit of her stomach is another.

Tsunade tried her best to turn the loss into a lesson; this might have been the first time Sakura lost a patient, but it would not be the last. Though the bonds she forms with those in her care are important, she needed to learn how to cope with the grief adequately. It didn’t help that last night’s shift had also been her third in a row, and the second day at the hospital that turned into a fifteen hour, around the clock stint in the emergency room.

Sakura is run ragged, emotionally and physically weary down to her bones. Everything fucking hurt, and if it weren't for the fact that she was currently holding on to the stair railing, she is pretty sure she would collapse into a boneless heap right in the middle of the stairwell.

There were other things on her mind as well. Sasuke and Naruto were fighting over something that she can’t, for the life of her, even remember anymore. She was caught in the middle of two bothersome, stubborn men who refused to apologize to one another and admit that they were at fault. She had been receiving passive aggressive messages from both of them throughout the last two days.

Ino was having problems with Genma – again – and despite Sakura’s best efforts to try and be there for her friend, Ino’s sour mood was festering to uncontrollable proportions. No amount of consoling and cajoling could calm her down.

Sakura was sure that Kakashi was getting the same treatment from Genma, but she could neither confirm nor deny that, solely based on the fact that she and Kakashi hadn’t been speaking all that frequently. Now, that wasn't to say that things between them weren't going well.

They were going better than well. Things were amazing.

After they had laid everything out and expressed how they felt, they were finally on the same page and progressing forward, together. Things were still new, but she is giddy with the possibilities of a new romance. It was uncharted territory, and though she was acting like a lovestruck high schooler, Sakura is excited for the things they could experience with one another.

The distance was still a disconcerting factor, but relationships take work and effort, and Sakura would be damned if she wasn’t willing to buckle down and power on through.

But, with the holidays approaching, things were getting especially hectic. Being in medical school, and as low on the totem pole that she was, Sakura had been forced to cover up a majority of the slack at the hospital. The patient census was low, more nurses and senior staff were taking off to spend time with their families, and it left the interns scrambling.

Kakashi wasn’t faring much better then she is. His firm is just as busy and he’s stuck covering most of the grunt work.

Phone calls were few and far between with their conflicting schedules, but they managed to text each other here and there. Or, more accurately, Kakashi sent Sakura very colorful, very threatening messages about remembering to eat properly and take care of herself.

Sakura manages – just barely – to pull herself up the two flights of stairs to the floor that her loft was on. Her mind is focused on nothing but reaching her bedroom and the sweet oblivion to be achieved once she makes it there, but as she approaches her apartment door, two things become apparent.

One, there is a teenage boy who looks barely old enough to drive, dressed in a polo and khakis, blocking the entrance to her apartment.

Two, he’s holding one of the most massive bouquets of roses that she has ever seen.

“Hello?” She calls out tentatively. “Can I help you?”

The kid turns at the sound of her voice. He looks relieved to see her. “Are you Miss Sakura Haruno?”

Sakura nods, letting her gaze shift from his face, to the bundle of flowers in his hands. She then gives him a quick once-over, recognizing the logo of the local flower shop stitched into his left sleeve.

“I am. How can I help you?”

He seems overly delighted by her confirmation and thrusts the bouquet into her unsuspecting arms. Sakura struggles to receive them without crushing a bud or two.

"Awesome! I'm glad you're here." His enthusiastic manner reminds her of Naruto. "I didn't want to leave these outside your door where anyone could step on them. You don't need to sign for them or anything. Have a nice day, ma’am! "

The delivery boy is there one second and gone the next, and Sakura is too flabbergasted to fully contemplate if she's insulted by him addressing her as 'ma'am.’

She looks down at the bound blossoms, a neat array of reds, pinks, and whites, and she spies a little card mounted on a plastic display nestled in the center.

It's a simple note, written in elegant, feminine script.

Just a friendly reminder --

Thinking of you always.

Yours,

Suddenly, Sakura doesn’t feel so tired anymore.

-⇞-

Later that day, when Ino stops by and notices the bouquet sitting as the centerpiece on Sakura’s kitchen table, she proceeds to call Sakura a sappy, love-sick fool.

Sakura couldn’t and wouldn’t bring herself to care, because it was undeniably true, and no amount of teasing was going to wipe the goofy smile from her face.

-⇞-

November 16th, 2018

"If you're not going to help, I'm going to hang up on you."

"Now, Sakura, that hardly seems fair."

"Listen here you brat. This case is the make or break of my residency at the hospital. Either you help me go over the case files, or you quit distracting me. If you keep bothering me with useless nonsense, I’m going to fly to Iwa and beat you with a stick."

“Sounds like a good time to me.”

“Kakashi.”

"Alright, alright. Geez. Remind me to never get on your bad side, babe."

“You already are!”

-⇞-

November 22nd, 2018

It's the middle of the afternoon on Thanksgiving Day, and Sakura is panicking.

"Sakura, sweetheart, you need to calm down."

She glares at the phone sitting on her counter, hoping that he could feel the weight of her scowl all the way in Iwa.

"That's easy for you to say," She grounds out through gritted teeth. "You didn't just ruin Thanksgiving dinner! Seriously, how the hell did I manage to burn a fucking turkey!"

There's a noise on the other end of the line, it sounds like a snort, she perceives it as a snort, and Kakashi is lucky that he is calling her from his office because if he were home, she would rip into him for finding anything about this situation hilarious.

Sakura settles on raising her middle finger in the direction of the phone, and that mollifies her – if only slightly – despite him not being able to see it. She continues to frantically turn the pages of the recipe book her mother gifted her when she moved out.

"If you're not going to help, Hatake, get off the phone."

"It's just Naruto and Sasuke," is Kakashi's flippant dismissal. "You could put instant noodles in front of the both of them and they would still praise you for it."

Sakura releases a distressed whine and turns another page, eyes skimming for something that she can whip together in a matter of an hour and a half. She hears Kakashi click his tongue and there's an echo of movement on the other end of the line like he's switching the ear that he’s pressing his phone against.

"Take a deep breath," he coos into the receiver. "You said you managed to save all of the side dishes, right? You can still serve those. I’m sure the boys wouldn’t mind.”

There's a murmur of another voice on Kakashi's end followed by Kakashi's muffled response. There's a pause before his says, clearer this time, “Sakura, I need to go. Make a noodle dish for the main course. I'm sure you have all the ingredients at home. I'll call you later, alright? Have a good time. I love you."

The call disconnects right as the cookbook slips from her lifeless fingers and clatters against the countertop. The noise that emanates from the back of her throat is a mix between a squeak and a whimper and is entirely distressed in nature.

Did he…did he just…?

The ringing of her cell phone interrupts her thoughts and Sakura looks at the brightened screen to see that she has messages from Kakashi waiting for her.

Kakashi Hatake (3:36:15 pm): So... I totally just said that... Kakashi Hatake (3:36:32 pm): Sorry for throwing it on you like that. Kakashi Hatake (3:36:47 pm): But it's true, and I'm not taking it back. Kakashi Hatake (3:36:59 pm): Remember, deep breathes, cook some noodles, and enjoy your time with your friends. I'll call you tonight.

For the next two hours, Sakura is too distracted with staring at those messages to try and salvage dinner.

They eat Pad Thai takeout for the main course and Sakura’s not even the slightest bit ashamed when she serves it.

Naruto and Sasuke – mostly out of fear for what would happen if they were to complain – tell Sakura it's the best Thanksgiving dinner they've ever had.

-⇞-

December 16th, 2018

Ino shows up on her doorstep that morning, and in all of her assertive glory, demands that Sakura help her bake something for her office holiday party.

Though Sakura would love to tell Ino that she is on her own, she has always been susceptible to Ino’s puppy dog eyes and her futile resistance crumbles before it even has the chance to form fully. The two of them make their way into the kitchen, and Sakura’ falls into the rhythm of a familiar and comforting routine: shooting the shit with her best friend, laughing about inanities, and dancing around her home as they prepare food in concert, singing along to one-hit wonders from the early nineties.

After the last couple of months, nothing could have been more uncomplicated or more healing than returning to this normalcy.

Cookies in the oven and coffee brewing, Sakura uses the lull in their baking to check her phone, and Ino notices the preoccupation instantly. Being an excellent friend, she misses exactly zero opportunities to rub Sakura’s face in it.

“Who you talking to, Forehead? Your boyfriend?” Her voice was sickly singsong, light, and teasing.

Sakura shoves her shoulder in repentance and laughs. It’s just as much jubilant as it is incredulous, and she shakes her head instead of getting defensive.

Sakura is in a good mood. It’s Sunday, and that means she and Kakashi have a movie date later on – which meant they would watch television while on the phone together and comment on the absurdity of whatever shitty horror film that they put on.

Ino walks over to the counter where the coffee pot resides, pours two mugs full, then returns to Sakura’s side, placing her cup on the table in front of her. They sit in companionable silence for a few moments, relishing in those first few sips of a fresh cup of coffee.

“Are you happy, Forehead?”

The spontaneity of the question catches Sakura off guard. Slowly, she places her mug on the table, keeping both hands wrapped around it and stares at Ino. The juvenile cheerfulness that her friend had exhibited that afternoon is long gone, leaving behind nothing but mindfulness and concern.

Sakura is aware that Ino’s question has nothing to do with her job, or her impression in that exact moment. It’s about her relationship and how it makes her feel and Kakashi. It’s always about Kakashi.

“Yeah, Pig,” Sakura reassures. “I’m happy.”

The gravity of the situation dissipates as Ino nods once. “Alright then.”

Sakura snickers. “I should be the one asking that question. How are things with Genma?”

Ino snorts, rolls her eyes skyward, and they fall back into the comfortable, compatible joviality that they had shared throughout the afternoon.

Later on, about a half hour after Ino leaves, Kakashi calls and apologizes, but he has to cancel their movie date. He cites work for his excuse, and though Sakura is disappointed, she doesn’t hold it against him. She spends the rest of her evening flipping through Netflix and noshing on the cookies that didn’t make the cut for Ino’s dessert platter.

She readies herself for bed shortly after her movie ends. She plugs in her phone and cozies herself between the numerous blankets, sheets, and quilts on her bed. With the lights out and the only sounds in the room being the hum of her breathing and the buzz of the heater, Sakura begins to drowse. The chime of an incoming text message startles her out of her light snooze. Glancing at her clock, Sakura grunts and rolls onto her elbow, reaching for her phone on the nightstand.

Kakashi Hatake (11:01:30 pm): I have to speak to you tomorrow. Can you call me in the morning?

Just as she begins to thumb a response, another text message arrives.

Kakashi Hatake: (11:01:45 pm): You should be sleeping.

Then another.

Kakashi Hatake (11:01:51 pm): Seriously. Put the phone down. You have a shift tomorrow afternoon. Just call me in the morning.

Sakura does as she was told, a sly, little smile on her face.

Read receipts. She should really turn those off.

-⇞-

December 17th, 2018

There are some emotions that are difficult to explain – that exist in the kind of liminal space between other, more easily understood feelings like happiness and hate and fear. There are some emotions that don’t have a name: the sensation of looking up at someone and one day beginning to wonder, not for the first time, whether or not you really love them. The moment when you get exactly what you always wanted, but begin to feel guilty for all those who never will; the sense of coming home to an empty apartment after a long shift, and feeling both an abiding comfort and a profound impression of loneliness.

And Sakura was feeling one of those confusing, nameless emotions at that moment – a deep and personal sense of mourning for someone she was deeply tied to, but unable to adequately express the magnitude of her feelings.

"I'm...sorry...," she mumbles faintly. "Can you repeat that?"

She's back in the alleyway behind that sketchy bar Ino insists on dragging them to whenever their schedules align. She didn’t get the chance to call Kakashi that morning. Tsunade called her and asked her to start her shift a few hours earlier than intended. The patient census was still low, but her mentor wanted someone in the ER that she could trust.

By the time she was relieved of duty, Kakashi was still at the office, hence the late-night phone call.

Kakashi is insufferably silent on the other side of the line. He sighs, then sucks in a deep breath. There's a pause, a beat, where Sakura thinks that he might actually elucidate what he just said, but he merely sighs once again.

"I said," He finally mutters and then stops. Sakura hears the clink of his teeth as he snaps his mouth closed.

Sakura squeezes her eyes shut, bites back the tempting urge to vocalize her inherent irritation, and waits for him to confirm her fear. It's another two whole minutes before he speaks again.

"I said, I won't be able to make it home for Christmas."

Her plea is instantaneous. "We already have everything planned."

It's feeble and needy, but it's the only counter-complaint that makes sense in her mind. Sakura knows that Kakashi understands why she's unnerved by the news. If he doesn't come home for Christmas, the next time that he would be able to visit Konoha would be in March.

March.

“I know, and I’m sorry.” He really does sound remorseful, but the sinking feeling in her gut doesn’t go away with his soft words. “I have no say in who the partners decide to keep on during the holidays. They chose me, Sakura, and I can’t change that.”

It’s the first time in their relationship that Sakura hangs up on him out of spite.

-⇞-

December 25th, 2018

“You can still come out with us, you know,” Ino’s voice echoes throughout her apartment. “Genma and I are going to dinner, and we’re meeting everyone at the bar for drinks after. Seriously, Forehead, come get dressed.”

Sakura leans over the arm of the couch, digging her feet between the cushions to keep herself from falling too far forward. Facing the hallway that leads to her bedroom, Sakura yells out, "Thank you for the offer, Pig, but I'm not really in the mood to be a third wheel to you and Genma."

She hears Ino scoff, followed by her footsteps padding down the hall, and Sakura perks up at the sight of her best friend in her borrowed outfit.

Ino chose a pair of patterned tights and an over-sized, cream-colored sweater-dress with an off-the-shoulder, folded-over neckline that she made her look diminutive and cute. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, and she foregone any dramatic makeup, instead opting for a mostly bare face and some lip gloss. Ino moseys her way over to the couch and begins to tuck her feet into her knee-high black leather boots that she had earlier disposed of.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" She asks, making her way into the kitchen where she had dropped her coat on the back of one of the chairs.

Sakura sinks back into the soft cushions of her couch. "I'm sure. I'll be fine. I've got a pint of chocolate chip ice cream and half a bottle of chardonnay with my name on it."

Ino returns a second later, donning her wine-colored coat. She eyes Sakura curiously, and with a hint of doubt, head cocked slightly to the right. Sakura can see the gears turning in her head, watches as her lips part like she's about to call bullshit on Sakura's excuse. She doesn't let Ino have the chance.

"Honestly, Ino." The use of her real name gives the blonde woman pause. "I'm alright. I wouldn't let you out of this apartment if I weren’t. You know that. Go have fun tonight. Have a shot or two for me."

Ino scrunches up her nose, and her lips twist with displeasure, but she doesn't argue. She reaches across the space between them and ruffles Sakura's hair playfully. "If you need anything, call me. You know I'd come running."

Sakura gives her a dismissive wave of her hand. "Yeah, yeah. Get out of here already, or you're going to be late."

Ino doesn't fight her, and without another word, she's out the door.

Sakura occupies the rest of her evening with deep cleaning the majority of her apartment. Her kitchen floor has never been so clean. When her shoulders ache, and when her knees are sore and red from the amount of time she has spent on them, Sakura finally decides to call it quits.

She takes a long, relaxing shower, letting the hot water beat against her back and tries to find a sense of calm that has evasively eluded her for the last couple of days. Since Kakashi broke the news that he wouldn't be returning in time for Christmas, Sakura has thrown herself into her work at the hospital.

It wasn't his fault, she knew that, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Ignoring his calls and texts for the remainder of that night was juvenile and childish, and in recognizing her error, she apologized to him the following morning. Kakashi never held it against her, he understood. He always understood — that silly, stupid, reliant man.

Though things between them were fine, they weren't precisely copacetic, and the closer they drew to the destined day, the more strained things seemed to become. Sakura sent him a text this morning with well wishes for his holiday and received an immediate reply, but beyond that, she hadn't heard from him.

When the water turns cold, Sakura shuts off the shower and towels herself dry. She spends enough time in her bedroom to change into her pajamas and brush her matted hair before she beelines for her kitchen. A little while later, Sakura is halfway through her stash of ice cream, the drone of some news program on her television filling her living room, when someone knocks on her front door.

Whoever it is, is impatient, because before she can even put down her spoon, there's another knock, quickly followed by another, their volume increasing.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Sakura calls out, disgruntled at the prospect of her dessert-for-dinner pity party being interrupted.

Scratching the back of her head, Sakura throws open her door and comes face to face with a very disgruntled, yet strikingly familiar pug with a Santa hat on his head.

“Pa...Pakkun?” She gapes, caught off guard.

Her eyes dart down to the hands holding him around his middle, then trail up a toned arm, and then...he comes into view.

Kakashi is there, staring at her, looking so much the way she remembers him from their last video call.

He’s the same, but then again, he’s different.

He’s real.

He’s taller in person then she remembers, and his hair is a bit shaggier, but that jawline, the broad set of shoulders, those are all the same. Just the sight of him stirs something so powerful within her. It’s longing and something so horribly nostalgic that everything around them melts away into faded insignificance. Sakura watches, transfixed, as his mouth moves to form the one single word.

“Surprise?” It’s more of a question than a statement.

There’s a pause long enough to span a single heartbeat before she’s in his arms, squishing Pakkun between their bodies as she clings to him.

“What are you doing here? Better yet, how did you get here?” She’s vibrating with her giddiness, bouncing on her toes.

Home. This is what coming home feels like. It’s here, in his arms.

He laughs at her excitement. There's something about him that softens the longer he embraces her, giving way to such an air of contentment that Sakura can help but hug him tighter.

“It took some convincing, and a lot of overtime, but I was able to get off for the next couple of days.” The mood shifts and the corners of his mouth turn down into a small frown. His expression contorts into a remorseful grimace. “I didn’t want to disappoint you by not making it home.”

Guilt tightens her chest. “I’m sorry,” Sakura states quickly. “I didn’t mean to act the way that I did the other night. I’m not disappointed. I was being childish. I’m so sorry, but I could never be disappointed with you. Not when you’ve worked so hard to be here.”

Kakashi smiles that same smile he had when she confessed her feelings for him, and he finally does what she’s been wanting him to do since the moment he showed up on her doorstep. Her lashes flutter as he leans in, head tilting slightly. He presses his lips gently to hers, once, twice, and then pulls back, pressing his forehead to hers. He breathes out a sigh.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he whispers. "I got here as soon as I could. I’m home.”

Sakura is so overcome with the emotion that swells within her at that phrase.

The canine stuck in between them releases a whine and nips at his owner’s fingers. Kakashi pulls back further, and Sakura laughs at the dog’s antics, reaching out to softly scratch at the fur behind his right ear. It garners her an appreciative lick to the tips of her fingers.

“I love you,” are Kakashi’s next words, soft and sweet and filled with so much feeling.

And nothing else seems to matter, not the stresses of work, not the long distance, not the tension between from the last couple of days. All Sakura knows is that those words have come out of Kakashi’s mouth, here and in person, and it’s like all nine planets have aligned. Everything makes sense. They make sense and Sakura finds herself falling all over again.

She wasn’t about to let him go.

"I love you too," she breathes. "Welcome home."

Kakashi smiles and takes a step in her direction, then another, forcing Sakura further inside her apartment. He takes the time to close the front door behind him and crouch down to release an impatient Pakkun from his grasp; then he straightens, eyes having never left hers.

They are molten and warm, and he looks like he wants to devour her.

He closes in on her again, and Sakura readily jumps at the opportunity to meet him halfway, but there’s something about his movements. They're slower, more measured. He brings both of his hands to her face, runs his thumb across the curve of her lips, parting them slightly, and rests it in the corner. Kakashi moves his other hand to the back of her neck, opening his palm against the shape of her skull, pink hair ribboning through his fingers. Then still, slowly, sacredly, he tilts his head, lets their foreheads brush, then their noses, then plants the lightest, daintiest ghost of a kiss on the bit of her right cheek by the corner of her mouth. Sakura doesn’t feel as lax in this situation as he is, she doesn't want to draw this out, so she turns her head and their mouths lock instead.

Any coherent thought in Sakura’s head almost vanishes at the faint, fragrant whiff of his cologne. It envelops her, drowns her. Kakashi utters a muddled sound in the back of his throat that causes Sakura’s toes to curl. She’s the one to pull back from the kiss this time, but she doesn’t get very far before his mouth descends on hers once more.

Warm, smooth, slightly wet, he presses his lips against her own, briefly. Once didn’t seem like it was enough because a second kiss soon follows, and this one lingers, deepens. He pulls away infinitesimally and his smoldering black eyes peer into hers, which flutter in wonder.

“Hmm,” he hums with a chuckle, and Sakura hears the soft breath escape his lips, feels it as it fans hot against her flushed cheeks before he kisses her once more.

Sakura closes her eyes, fully embracing this beautiful dream and kisses him back. Her hands reach out to touch his chest, and it rumbles beneath her touch. She has a moment to relish in the feeling, and he takes the time to pull her towards him gently. His one hand inches down to tangle into the hair at the nape of her neck, while the moves from the side of her face, follows every dip and curve of her body, and comes to rest at the small of her back, tracing slow, tantalizing circles.

Their soft kisses become more passionate and the tip of his tongue, searing hot, teases and coaxes at the seam of her lips as they kiss, and Sakura doesn’t hesitate to open her mouth to receive him. All Kakashi gives her is one teasing lick before he withdraws, moving his lips to ghost along her jaw, nuzzling into her neck. Sakura moans, a delightful pressure beginning to build within her, and rocks forward to close whatever space is left between them, breasts pressed flat against his chest.

The hand on her back dips lower, squeezing over her shorts, kneading and caressing.

She pulls away from him with a breathless chuckle. “Eager, are we?”

“It has been a while,” he replies before nipping at her collarbone. He uses his nose to push the strap of her tank top down her shoulder and chases the fabric with his tongue. “That one night from freshmen year doesn’t really count.”

“I’ve sent photos as a little preview,” Sakura says, rolling her hips into his. A thrill of excitement shoots down her spine as she rubs against his hardening erection.

“Mm, but photos don’t compare to the real thing, do they?”

As delicious as his playful affections feel, Sakura would rather not waste another second. She steps out of his arms and before Kakashi can complain about the loss of her body, she’s slyly beckoning him with one finger, walking backwards into her living room.

There’s a blur of movement, a flurry of shredded clothing, and a shrill of laughter before Sakura finds herself bent over the arm of her couch.

Kakashi is between her splayed legs, his large hand pressing deliciously on her lower back, pushing her further down. He's taking his time, exploring her, reacquainting himself with what is his. Every once in a while, his fingers take off, thumb trailing across her spine, tracing the sharp indent of her waist, dipping into one of the two dimples just above her backside – the ones that she distinctly remembers him having a sort of less-than-healthy obsession with the last time they were together like this.

"Look at you," he murmurs into the tender skin at the base of her neck. Sakura mewls. “So beautiful.”

He pushes a lock of coral hair over her shoulder for no other purpose than to lick the spot he has just bared.

Sakura sucks in a breath, leaning forward a little more to grant him better access and coaxing him to where she wants him most. Kakashi readily takes the invitation, and when he's crouched behind her, he hovers there, hot breath ghosting against her skin. His fingers delicately trace along the backs of her thighs, running over the curves of her ass and Sakura can hear him utter profanities as he marvels at the sight of her, open and waiting for him.

Face still close, warming her with his breath, his finger traces a path from her clitoris, down, collecting the moisture that has begun to weep from her. He spreads it around on his way back up to tease her bud. Over and over he does this, fingers gently past her clit in one turn, then pressing hard against it on the next.

Sakura squeezes her eyes shut in frustration, feeling oh so good, and wanting so much more, and when she finally opens her eyes, lips parting so that she can tell Kakashi precisely what she would prefer those fingers to be doing, she feels it.

The hot, wet drag of his tongue, from bottom to top, followed by his lips closing around her clit. Sakura gasps. He applies a gentle suction, the tip of his tongue lapping at her intimately, while two of his fingers travel down to insinuate themselves within her. As soon as he's entered her, Kakashi curls his fingers upwards, increasing the suction of his lips incrementally to make the intensity of his caress almost intolerable. He keeps his pace steady, almost languid and a warmth pools heavily in her stomach, building up inside of her.

Sakura’s orgasm overtakes her in an embarrassingly short amount of time, though Kakashi doesn’t seem to mind. The combination of his fingers, his lips, and his tongue prove to be too much for her, and she cries out her release into the couch cushion underneath her.

She doesn’t have time to recover her breathing. Kakashi, one arm wrapped around her waist, yanks her up to a standing position. He makes sure that she is steady on her feet, before gently, but firmly, pushing her in the direction of the hallway.

“Bedroom. Now,” Kakashi commands, accentuated with a playful smack to her ass.

Sakura squeals in surprise which shifts into a stream of giggles as she makes her way down the hall to her bedroom, Kakashi hot on her heels.

Sakura’s not sure how she manages it, but she wrestles him down on the mattress first. The sight of him, lounging back in among her pillows, cheeks flushed in excitement, turns her on more than she realizes. She plants a knee on the mattress, quickly followed by the other, and she crawls demurely towards him.

When she’s hovering over him, Sakura kisses a trail up his left thigh, narrowly avoiding his weeping member that is begging for her attention, and nibbles harshly into the sensitive skin of his groin, laving at it gently with the flat of her tongue.

“Sakura.”

Kakashi’s warning is clear. He doesn’t want to wait, and truthfully, neither does Sakura, so without any concern or modesty, Sakura sits astride him, knees planted on either side of his hips, and shamelessly rubs herself against his cock.

She brings her hands to his shoulders for balance, and Kakashi cranes his neck up to kiss her just as his hands guide her as she lowers herself onto her onto him. Sakura sighs her pleasure as he fills her to the hilt, grinding greedily down onto him until she is seated tight up against his pelvis. When their kiss ends, they pull apart, and Sakura pants at the sensation of him bottoming out inside of her. His hands wrap around her hips, and he leads their movement as she continues to ground against him.

The first few moments are spent fumbling and shifting, both of them trying to find a rhythm that suits both of their needs, and try as she might, Sakura can't get a good enough angle to put enough pressure on her clit, but she's aching for it, and it causes her to whine. Kakashi seems to sense her frustration and sneaks a hand between them and harshly plucks and presses on her quivering bundle of nerves.

And then, all at once, every sensation becomes unbearable. His cock is so large and deep within her, stretching her deliciously from the inside, and the press of his fingers against her clit, the dragging of her hardened nipples against his chest. It’s too much.

A long, low moan accompanies each exhale, and Sakura presses her forehead to Kakashi's shoulder, continuing to rock over him frantically. Her body begins to coil in on itself with the buildup of another orgasm. His grip on her waist is bruising, and Kakashi starts to snap his hips up to meet hers.

Sakura can feel it, like a wave cresting in the tide, and she screams out her release, collapsing forward, sated and boneless. Kakashi stops moving, eyes closed and brow furrowed, fingers twitching on her waist. He holds perfectly still within her as she cums, a satisfied grunt escaping his lips.

Kakashi rearranges them on the bed, pushing her back on the mattress, torso hovering over her as he remains buried deep within her. When Sakura's collects herself, eyes focusing on him, he begins to move again, sliding into her in a luxuriant pace. Each time he pulls back, he nearly withdraws completely, before pressing forward until she's squeezed around him to the root. She was coming down from her previous release, and one breath later he was building her back up. This man would be the death of her.

But what a sweet death it would be.

Kakashi raises himself upright, spreading her legs wider with one hand, while the other occupies itself with cupping her right breast. It doesn’t stay there long before his fingers caress her heated skin, right up and past her collarbone. His fingers wrap gently around her neck, and there's no pressure at first, but then, there's a little squeeze. The slight amount of compression feels surprisingly good, adds to her lightheadedness, and Sakura closes her eyes and groans. One of her hands comes up to wrap around his wrist, and she cants her hips, trying to meet his, thrust for thrust.

Kakashi's eyes close as well and his rhythm stutters a little. Sakura's lids flit up so she can watch the concentration marring his brow, the sheen of sweat over his smooth, pale skin. He groans, quickening his pace before releasing his hold on her throat. He slumps forward onto his hands, one on either side of her head. Sakura wants to cum with him. She snakes a hand down between them and rubs herself frantically, trying to catch up and the other wraps around his neck, pulling harshly at the hair at the nape of his neck.

The feeling of him inside her, over and over, the press of his skin against hers, the flex of his abdominal muscles, and the delightful pain of his teeth digging into the flesh of her shoulder all work in tandem to rewind her up just in time.

He shudders over her, hips snapping and stilling, then moving again, as he releases within her. He continues with small, shallow thrusts, seeking the last delicious sensation of pleasure as his orgasm passes. When it’s finished, Kakashi collapses over her, his weight and heat welcome.

They remain like that for a while, recollecting themselves, but he eventually pulls out of her. They both whimper simultaneously at the sensation, and Kakashi rolls off of onto his side, pulling Sakura along with him. He tucks her against his side, wraps his arms tightly around her and Sakura presses her forehead to his chest, lips brushing along a pectoral. She sighs in contentment.

She feels his lips on the crown of her head, a butterfly kiss, and Kakashi murmurs, "Best Christmas present, ever."

Sakura snorts and nips at his skin. “You’re an idiot.”

He hums his agreement to her name calling, running his one hand leisurely up and down her side.

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.”

Sakura lifts her head and leans in to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw. “You’re not wrong there.” A pause. Then, “Merry Christmas, Kakashi.”

“Merry Christmas, Sakura,” he says before bending down and capturing her lips with his own.

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