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astrologydray · 1 month ago

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Astrology indicators 5: The good & the bad 🫠🫠

Astrology indicators of a liar 🤥

🤥 Mercury in Hard Aspect to Neptune (square/opposite): Classic indicator of lying or mental fog. Can also show storytelling skills—they can weave fiction so well it sounds real.

🤥 Neptune in the 3rd House or Conjunct Mercury.

• Neptune in the 3rd = blurred thinking, communication that’s vague, slippery, or deceitful.

• May speak in half-truths, avoid clarity, or shift narratives to suit them.

🤥 Mercury in Mutable Signs (especially Gemini or Pisces)

• Gemini Mercury: Can be clever, mentally agile, and good at spinning. If poorly aspected, it can be slick, gossipy, or say what you want to hear.

• Pisces Mercury: Prone to white lies, omissions, or fantasy over fact—especially with Neptune influence.

🤥Strong 12th House or Neptune Dominance

• Planets in the 12th house, especially Mercury, Moon, or Mars, may signal hidden motives or secretive thinking.

• Neptune dominance = master of illusions. They might lie more to protect feelings or hide uncomfortable truths than to deceive maliciously.

🤥Mercury Square Jupiter

• Tends to exaggerate, boast, or bend the truth—especially for approval, attention

🤥 Gemini or Pisces Stelliums

• Gemini = quick-witted, often walking the line between truth and fiction. Might talk themselves in circles or contradict themselves.

• Pisces = dreamy, fluid with boundaries, may lie out of emotional discomfort or escapism.

🤥 Moon Square or Opposite Neptune

• Can indicate emotional dishonesty—even with themselves. They may lie because they feel overwhelmed, ashamed, or confused about their feelings. Often not malicious; they just can’t always tell truth from feeling.

🤥 Venus Square Neptune

• Especially in relationships, this is the “rose-colored glasses” liar—or the one who lies to keep love, attention, or fantasy alive.

• May misrepresent intentions or fall for people who do.

🤥 Mars in Pisces (or badly aspected Neptune Mars)

• This Mars fights indirectly, and can lie by omission, mislead, or manipulate to avoid confrontation.

Astrology indicators of a trustworthy person😇

😇 Mercury in Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)

• Grounded, clear, and straightforward communication. Especially Mercury in Capricorn: Doesn’t sugarcoat, values integrity.

• Mercury in Virgo: Precise with details—usually too honest.

😇 Saturn-Mercury Aspects (Especially Trine or Sextile)

• Saturn gives Mercury discipline and structure. These people take responsibility for their words. Rarely speak impulsively; prefer facts over fluff.

😇 Strong 6th House / Virgo Energy

• Loyal, dependable, service-oriented. These people tend to show their trust through actions, not just words. Can be your rock during chaos because they take responsibility seriously.

😇 Moon in Earth or Fixed Signs (Taurus, Capricorn, Scorpio, Aquarius)

• Emotionally stable and don’t switch up often. Scorpio Moon may be secretive but not disloyal—they take loyalty very seriously.

• Taurus and Capricorn Moons = emotionally reliable, don’t play with people’s feelings.

😇 Sun or Ascendant in Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius)

• Fixed signs = consistent, not easily swayed.

• What they say, they usually mean. If they commit, it’s for the long haul.

😇 Venus in Capricorn or Taurus

• Loyal in love and partnerships.

• These people value long-term bonds, tradition, and accountability.

😇 Saturn in Angular Houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th)

• Saturn here gives someone a strong sense of duty and grounded presence. May take time to open up, but when they do, they mean it.

😇 Jupiter in Libra, Cancer, or Sagittarius

• These Jupiters uphold morality, fairness, and care for others.

• Jupiter in Libra especially seeks harmony through honesty.

😇 Mercury Trine or Sextile Jupiter

• Honest, big-picture thinkers who dislike lies or petty manipulation. They’re often generous with info and try to uplift with truth.

Astrology indicators of someone who is a first responder (firefighter, EMT, paramedic, or emergency worker) ⛑️

⛑️ Strong Mars – Action, Courage, Physical Response

• Mars is the planet of fight, drive, adrenaline, and quick reaction.

• Especially powerful in: Aries: Fearless and fast. Capricorn: Controlled, professional, goal-oriented. Scorpio: Focused in life-or-death moments.

• Mars conjunct or trine Saturn: Disciplined action, professional under pressure.

• Mars conjunct Pluto: Handles crisis like a boss. Power, survival, control.

⛑️ Strong 6th House or Virgo Energy – Service & Health

• The 6th house rules day-to-day work, routines, health, and service. Planets here often indicate someone who’s drawn to serving others through skill or labor.

• Especially Mars, Saturn, Pluto, or the Sun in the 6th.

⛑️ Saturn – Discipline, Endurance, Authority

• Saturn shows where you carry responsibility and long-term effort. Saturn in 1st, 6th, or 10th: Serious about work, dependable under pressure.

• Saturn in Capricorn or Virgo adds extra structure and focus.

⛑️ Pluto – Intensity, Crisis Management

• People with strong Pluto influence (especially in aspect to personal planets or the MC) are often:

⛑️ Drawn to high-stakes environments.

⛑️ Good at staying calm in chaos.

⛑️ Emotionally resilient or intense.

⛑️ Uranus – Emergency Work, Sudden Change

• Uranus rules things that happen suddenly—like accidents and crises.

• In the 6th or 10th house, it can show someone who works in emergency settings or unpredictable environments.

• Mars-Uranus aspects: Fast reflexes, thrives in chaotic or high-adrenaline scenarios.

⛑️ MC (Midheaven) or 10th House in Aries, Scorpio, or Capricorn

• Midheaven shows your public role or calling.

• Aries = protector, responder, fighter energy.

• Scorpio = life and death service, often drawn to high-pressure environments.

• Capricorn = reliable and leadership-driven, ideal for structured emergency roles.

⛑️ Aspects Between the Moon and Saturn or Mars

• Moon rules instincts, Saturn brings composure.

• Moon-Mars: Fast emotional reactions, often gutsy and reactive.

• Moon-Saturn: Controlled emotional responses; solid under pressure.

⛑️ North Node in the 6th or 10th House

• A life purpose centered around service, duty, and practical contribution. They’re here to show up and help in tangible ways—often through jobs others couldn’t handle.

⛑️ Fire Element Dominance (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)

• Fire signs are naturally bold, energetic, and action-oriented.

• Aries especially has a “rush in to help” instinct.

Astrology indicators of someone who is in the army or military 🪖

🪖 Strong Mars – The Warrior Planet

• Mars in Aries, Capricorn, Scorpio, or Leo = natural leaders or fighters.

• Mars in the 6th or 10th house = work that’s physically demanding, strategic, or structured.

🪖 Mars conjunct or trine Saturn = discipline + endurance = soldier energy.

• Mars square Pluto or Uranus = explosive strength, intensity, risk-taking, or sudden action.

🪖 Saturn – Discipline, Structure, Authority

• Strong Saturn = commitment, following rules, respecting hierarchy. Saturn in 1st, 6th, or 10th house = thrives in environments with strict order.

• Capricorn placements (Saturn-ruled) = born for command and strategy.

• Saturn-Mars combo = disciplined action—a military classic.

🪖 Pluto – Power, Survival, Transformation

• Indicates a comfort with intense, high-stakes situations. Pluto in aspect to Mars or the Ascendant = extreme focus, mental toughness, fearlessness.

• Pluto in 6th or 10th = power and control through one’s job or service.

🪖 Aries or Scorpio Dominance

• Aries = bold, combative, head-on energy. Will take the first hit if it means protecting others.

• Scorpio = strategist, thrives in tactical, high-pressure environments. Deep loyalty and emotional intensity.

🪖 Military Houses: 6th, 10th, and 8th

• 6th House: Daily work + service. Mars, Saturn, or Pluto here = service through strength or hardship.

• 10th House: Career + status. Planets here (especially Mars or Saturn) = public identity shaped by duty or control.

• 8th House: Crisis, control, and survival. Those with personal planets here may be drawn to dangerous or transformative careers.

🪖 Ascendant in Fire or Earth Signs

• Fire Risings (Aries, Leo, Sag): Brave, direct, and ready to lead or defend.

• Earth Risings (Taurus, Virgo, Cap): Grounded, reliable, and slow to break under pressure.

🪖 North Node in Aries, Capricorn, or 6th/10th House

• Their life path involves stepping into authority, service, or leadership roles. They grow by becoming stronger, more self-directed, or more focused on order and duty.

🪖 Uranus + Mars or Saturn – Technology and Sudden Action

• Uranus aspects (especially to Mars/Saturn) can suggest military careers in tech, aviation, communications, or cyber-intelligence.

🪖 Moon in Capricorn, Scorpio, or Aries

• Emotionally tough. These Moons hold steady in chaos and have no issue with strict conditions or hardship. May not show emotion under pressure—good for combat environments.

#astro notes #astrology #birth chart #astro observations #astro community #astrology observations #astrology community #astrology degrees #astro #astroblr #astrologyposts #astrology content #astrology insights #astrology aspects

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s7my · 2 months ago

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H O W N E P T U N E C L O U D S Y O U R C L A R I T Y 🌁

neptune in astrology is tied to dreams, illusions, and blurred lines. when it aspects other planets, it can soften clarity, making things feel more emotional, idealized, or confusing. it doesn’t lie, but it makes reality feel foggy; beautiful or heartbreaking, but hard to pin down. depending on the planet, it can bring deep intuition or escapism, creativity or confusion. ☁️🌪️

☉ sun-neptune

when neptune touches your sun, your sense of identity can be unclear or hard to define. you may struggle with self-doubt, not because you lack confidence, but because you’re constantly unsure of who you really are or who you’re supposed to be. you might absorb expectations from others without realizing it, which leads to shapeshifting in different settings. it’s easy to lose yourself in roles, relationships, or goals that don’t feel solid. people might think you’re inspirational or mysterious, but internally you may feel directionless or vague. the challenge here is finding a sense of self that isn’t built on other people’s projections or unrealistic ideals.

☽ moon-neptune

this aspect often makes emotional boundaries weak. you feel everything, even things that aren’t yours. you might have grown up in an environment where emotions weren’t clearly expressed, or where confusion and avoidance were common. now, you may struggle to trust your emotional instincts because you’re used to second-guessing yourself. sometimes you cope through fantasy, detachment, or checking out emotionally. you might be drawn to art, music, or helping others, but the real work is learning what you actually feel vs what you’ve absorbed from others.

☿ mercury-neptune

communication gets tricky here. your thinking might be creative, abstract, or nonlinear, but when you try to explain it, it doesn’t always come out clearly. people might misunderstand you or say you’re being vague, even when you feel like you're being real. sometimes, you avoid conflict by being indirect, or you say what others want to hear just to keep things peaceful. at worst, this can lead to misinformation or people not trusting what you say. on the flip side, you’re great at understanding nuance and reading between the lines. just make sure you’re not filling in blanks with wishful thinking.

♀ venus-neptune

relationships can be a blind spot. you want connection, but you’re more likely to fall for potential than reality. you might ignore red flags or put people on a pedestal without realizing it, especially when you’re emotionally invested. you crave a kind of closeness that feels deep and healing, but if you're not careful, that can turn into emotional codependency or chasing unavailable people. this aspect can also affect how you handle money or aesthetics. your taste might be refined or artistic, but decision-making can be inconsistent. clarity in love and finances is something you learn over time.

♂ mars-neptune

your drive and motivation aren’t consistent. some days you’re inspired, and other days it’s hard to even get started. you might avoid confrontation, not because you’re weak, but because direct conflict feels overwhelming or pointless to you. when you do act, it’s often based on emotion or instinct more than logic. that can make you seem spontaneous or unreliable. there’s also a chance of drifting into passivity, where you wait for motivation instead of building habits. the key here is figuring out what you truly care about so your actions aren’t just reactive or based on vague desires.

♃ jupiter-neptune

you tend to have big dreams or ideals, but following through on them isn’t always consistent. optimism can tip into unrealistic thinking, especially around beliefs, future goals, or trusting people too easily. you might take spiritual or philosophical ideas too far without grounding them in everyday experience. there’s a genuine desire to grow and understand the world, but sometimes you bypass hard truths in favor of feel-good narratives. learning to question your assumptions and stay critical helps you stay grounded, especially in areas of education, spirituality, or leadership.

♄ saturn-neptune

this aspect creates a push-pull between structure and surrender. on one hand, you crave stability; on the other, you fear rigidity or being boxed in. you might set unrealistic goals for yourself, then feel crushed when they don’t go as planned. or, you avoid responsibility altogether because the pressure feels unbearable. there can be a lot of guilt or self-doubt tied to your sense of discipline, as if no matter what you do, it’s never enough. this usually shows up in career, authority issues, or how you set boundaries. the lesson is learning to work steadily without losing touch with your values or reality.

♅ uranus-neptune

you’re drawn to unconventional or progressive ideas, but your sense of what’s real and what’s visionary can blur. sometimes you take risks without fully thinking them through because you get swept up in the excitement of change or rebellion. you might idealize freedom but struggle with stability. your thinking is innovative, but not always grounded. you tend to pick up trends or insights before others do, but you also need to check whether your ideas are actually useful or just sound good in theory. balance between creativity and practicality is key.

♇ pluto-neptune

you carry deep emotional intensity, but it’s not always expressed outwardly. there’s a tendency to internalize pain, or to be drawn to experiences that feel meaningful but also emotionally heavy. you might feel like you’re constantly in the process of healing or transforming, but the lines between trauma, fantasy, and truth can get blurry. you might romanticize suffering or avoid closure because you’re addicted to emotional depth. it’s not about being dramatic–it’s about learning to release what isn’t yours to carry. emotional clarity takes time and effort, but it’s worth it.

thanks for reading! <3 @s7my

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harrysredroom · 2 months ago

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Playing With Fire

word count: 4.5k

summary: 18+ content! basically just smut with loads of angst. enemies? lovers? who knows. they sure don’t. dominant/switch harry, submissive/switch y/n…they don’t discriminate. Harry and Y/N just can't seem to decide if it's love, hate, or lust.

a/n: hiiii, this is my first time posting something i’ve written. It’s not something i ever thought i’d do, so go easy on me lmao. let me know if you want to see more!

"Hello?"

"We're doing pleasantries now? I'm here."

"I'm home."

"Then buzz me in."

"I'm watching a new episode of Criminal Minds."

"Jesus. You can watch it while I fuck you from behind. Buzz me in, Y/N. Now. I don't have the time -or the patience- for your attitude tonight."

That's about as long as their phone calls ever got. The pair sighed in unison before the call ended, the tension bubbling beneath the surface from the second Y/N saw Harry's name pop up on her phone screen. She hadn't seen him or heard from him for the past three months.

Her and Harry had a complicated, long-standing situationship…and that was putting it lightly. A friend of a friend, a few drinks, a few months of connecting, heartbreak, and a mess of blurred lines. They were the kind of almost-couple that never quite got the timing right.

Every goodbye was temporary, every reunion accidental but inevitable. The inability to stay away from each other? That was the real reason things never worked. Too much chemistry, not enough clarity. It was passion tangled with pain, affection mixed with avoidance, like trying to hold onto smoke.

Incompatible.

Harry was consistently gone on tour and afraid of commitment. Y/N never left her tiny bubble of life and was emotionally unavailable.

They didn't see eye to eye on most things.

But...their sexual tension?

It buzzed consistently like a live wire, twisting, crackling, and sparking to life.

Harry was a constant thrum beneath her skin, rooted deep in her veins like a heartbeat she couldn't quiet. He had this way of making her feel like she mattered even if it only lasted a second. When he'd breathe into the curve of her neck, voice low and ragged, whispering how she was his, her walls would crack just enough to let him in. In those moments, she wasn't cold or closed off. She wasn’t numb. She could feel—really feel—something other than the dull ache that usually lived inside her. It was fleeting, sure, but it was real. And sometimes, that was enough to pull her back under.

Y/N was like a drug to Harry. He was always twitching, in desperate need of a fix. Being inside of her was addictive, his head in the clouds and far away from everything. But the comedown from the high? Brutal. The crash after they were done, after the kisses cooled, after the silence settled in, always hit harder than he expected. Each time left him hollow, questioning everything. Why had he stumbled back into her life again? What part of him kept confusing chaos for comfort, or her bed for safety? He’d lie there, heart still racing, staring at the ceiling like it might offer answers. But it never did. Just the same ache, the same regret, curling up beside him like a second skin.

Y/N adjusted the sleeves of her oversized jumper, fingers fidgeting for a moment before she stood from the couch. Padding toward the front door, she hesitated for just a second before pressing the buzzer to let Harry in.

The soft buzz echoed down the stairwell, but to her, it felt like a warning siren.

She had to stand her ground this time.

She couldn’t keep letting him drift in and out of her life like a tide she had no control over, especially not after this long. Usually, it was a few weeks, a handful of texts, and a night that bled into morning. But three months? That was different. That was silence she’d almost started to believe in.

Almost.

Harry’s lips curved into that familiar devilish smirk the second he heard the mechanical whirl of the front gate unlocking. That soft hum, the one that granted him access, always felt like the first drop on a rollercoaster. He pushed the door open once the metal gate slid back into place behind him, shutting it with a click that echoed in the empty hallway.

He practically jogged up the two flights to her flat, his pulse quickening with each step, a boyish eagerness he never could quite shake when it came to her. But when he reached her door, any fantasy he’d built on the way up hit a wall. Literally.

She was already there, standing in the doorway, her arms crossed, hips tilted, gaze unimpressed. No soft smile. No warm welcome. Just that unreadable expression he’d seen too many times before.

His grin only widened.

Of course she wasn’t amused. He couldn’t blame her.

But he was already in too deep.

“Aww, s’my sweet Bunny girl angry?” Harry crooned, voice dripping with mock concern as he looked down at her, eyes glinting with mischief.

Without waiting for a response, he brushed his shoulder past hers, slipping into her flat like he owned the place. The scent of her hit him instantly, intoxicating, wrapping around him as easily as her silence did.

"No." Y/N's tone was sharp and low, giving her away.

Harry clicked his tongue as he slipped off his shoes and hung his coat on the rack. Y/N followed him inside, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Now, now, now...s'that what we're doing? Lying to each other? Thought we both agreed it’s just easier to be honest, did we not?" He tutted as he turned to face her.

Before she could protest, his hands were grasping at the plushy flesh of her hips with rough vigor, tugging her frame flush against his own. Harry hummed, the sound gravelly and guttural as it rumbled through him. Y/N let loose a shaky breath, her lashes fluttering against her cheekbones.

A simple touch.

Just one very simple touch.

That's all it took for them to fall back in head first.

That’s all it took for their resolve to crumble.

Harry leaned in slowly, his movements unhurried and deliberate. His nose brushed against hers, a featherlight touch that sent a shiver down her spine. He breathed her in, sweet and familiar. That scent always did something to him, settled low in his gut and curled around his ribs. He could feel her heartbeat, rapid and erratic, thudding so hard in her chest it might as well have been echoing in his own. The corner of his mouth twitched. "There's my little Bunny, so nervous and jittery around me. S'addicting, y'know that? God, three months without you has been fucking torture."

His voice held the kind of yearning that made her lips itch to feel his own.

His words were a plea, needy and desperate.

Her hands moved up to hold the sleeves of his t-shirt, curling around the fabric, trying to ground herself.

"Need you t'use your words for me, love. S'that what's the matter, hmm? Been too long without me?”

His thumb and forefinger came up to gently grip her chin, tilting up her head. “C'mon, sweet girl. Y'know I can tell if you lie. You wanna be good for me, don't you? Bad girls don't get what m'about to give you."

Her entire body felt like hot molten lava, and she looked up into his eyes.

Harry blew out a breath. Those big doe eyes of hers were going to kill him someday and he was certain it would be a happy death. “Fucking hell. I missed you. There. I said it.”

Now it was her turn to tsk and chuckle, her cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink. “I don’t even have to speak and you’re a sputtering mess for me, Harry. It’s pretty desperate, don’t you think?”

She watched the way his jaw clenched, felt the way his fingers dug into her sides, and how his pupils blew out, his eyes darkening. “You’re playing with fucking fire, Y/N.” He growled, low and primal, before driving her backward until her spine hit the front door with a quiet thud. In one fluid motion, his hands gripped her hips and lifted her, catching her beneath the thighs. She gasped as he pinned her there, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.

His body pressed hard into hers, firm and unrelenting, holding her in place like he had every right to. The force of it stole the breath from her lungs, but it wasn’t just the impact.

It was him.

It was always him.

Their breaths tangled in the charged space between them, shallow and uneven, like they’d both run miles only to stop just short of the finish. Their lips hovered, barely apart, neither willing to surrender first, both waiting, daring the other.

“Good thing I’m not afraid to get burnt,” she whispered, her voice low and velvet-soft, brushing against his mouth with every word. “I missed you too, by the way.”

That was all it took.

Harry closed the distance, crashing into her like a wave pulled too long by the tide. His mouth found hers with a heat that trickled through her system and she met him there, fingers threading through his hair, the other hand locking around the back of his neck to hold him close.

A quiet whimper slipped from her as his tongue slithered past her lips, insistent and hungry, tasting the sugary remnants of the candy she’d had in front of the tv before he arrived. He groaned low in his throat at the sweetness, and the sound of it unravelled her, hips moving instinctively against him.

They acted with fluid precision, like two pieces made to fall into place. Her fingers tightened in his curls, pulling just enough to draw another sound from him, and before she knew it, she was back on her feet with Harry pressed against her and his hands grasping the dip of her waist to lead her.

She didn’t remember the walk to her bedroom.

Maybe it was because her frame never left the wall of his chest, or maybe because Harry’s mouth never once left her body—trailing down her jaw, along the curve of her throat, kissing and nipping at the skin until her legs turned jelly. She walked backwards, trusting Harry to lead her in the right direction. The door creaked open behind her, and the next thing she knew, her back was pressed to her velvet comforter and Harry was hovering above, his eyes hooded and stormy with want. Her jumper rose up to her midriff, just a pair of plain pink cotton panties with a bow on beneath. She wasn’t expecting company, not that she’d have dressed differently even if she knew he was coming.

“Look at you…” he murmured, more to himself than to her, tracing the outline of her collarbone with a calloused fingertip. “Laid out all pretty for me, like some dream I haven’t earned the right to wake up from.”

She arched towards his touch, her breath hitching when he leaned in and pressed a slow, reverent kiss just beneath her ear. “Maybe you haven’t,” she whispered, breathless but teasing, her voice trembling with the effort not to beg. She said she wouldn’t crack, yet here she was.

Harry’s grin was all sharp teeth and wonderment, but his gaze softened as it swept over her face. “Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice thick, “I’d spend the rest of my life tryin’.”

Then he kissed her again, slower now, deeper. It wasn’t just need anymore. It was months of silence, of missing glances, unanswered calls, aching spaces where the other used to be. It was apology and forgiveness, grief and hunger all tangled into one breathless moment. His hands moved with purpose, mapping out the skin he’d gone too long without, relearning every dip, every scar, every shiver he could draw from her with just the brush of his thumb.

“I can’t wait, I need you right now, Y/N, can you feel my cock? It’s fucking aching.” Harry grunted out, pressing his hips down against her core to prove his point. She could feel the outline of him, rock solid for her, straining against his jeans.

She whimpered at the friction, a damp spot already present against the fabric of her panties from the second he walked through her front door and looked at her with those eyes of his.

“I’m going to indulge in you properly later, take my time, bury my head between your thighs like your pretty pussy deserves after bein’ so neglected. But right now? I just need to fuck you.”

Harry’s hand slid beneath the back of her thigh, pulling her leg around his waist and tugging her panties to the side as he breathed heavily into her neck, his lips trailing hungry, greedy kisses along her skin.

“Then fuck me already.” Y/N bratted through deep breaths, her hands finding the hem of his shirt and tugging, needing him unclothed and fast.

Harry’s jaw clenched as he sat up just enough to look down at her. She was absolutely sinful like this, her pussy glistening with arousal, her eyes hazy with that smug, lustful expression. He scoffed out a breath as he ripped his shirt off from over his head, tossing it across the room as his fingers nimbly found his belt buckle. “Get it all out now, Bunny. S’not gonna be so funny when I’m pounding into you so hard you can’t breathe, and you know it.” He growled, his eyes meeting hers with stern warning.

The metal clinking sound of his belt coming undone echoed in the small space, and he pulled it from the loops of his jeans with one smooth tug. He looked into her eyes as he looped the leather in half before snapping it together, the sound crackling the room. “Behave,” he warned.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, her mind flashing back to the time that Harry had tied her wrists behind her back with that exact same belt. She gulped, a glimmer in her eyes as she nodded, deciding this was her time to be quiet if she wanted to get her way.

A devilish smirk coated Harry’s lips, the dimple in his cheek protruding. “That’s my girl.” He murmured as he tugged down his boxers, his hard cock now resting heavy in his palm. He leaned down, the head pressing against her entrance. He slicked through her folds, each of them sighing in relief at the feeling. Without warning, he thrust in, hard and deep. She cried out, her back arching, her head tipping back against the mattress as he tore through her without remorse.

“That’s my fucking girl.” He growled as his body rocked into hers. The pace was unhurried but purposeful, like he was trying to relearn her from the inside out. Their sweat-slicked skin was sticking where they touched, their breaths loud and shallow in the dim light of her bedroom.

Every move he made felt like a question. Are you still mine? Do I still fit here?

And every answer came from the way she held him, close and needy, her nails dragging angry red lines down his spine, her hips rolling to meet his like she was trying to etch the shape of him into her bones. She wanted him to remember. Each time he caught a glimpse in the mirror, or the hot water of his shower cascaded over his back, he’d remember her and the marks she’d left him with.

It was messy. A little unsteady. Every shift, every gasp, threaded with the weight of what they were too stubborn to say out loud. She whimpered when his mouth found that sensitive spot beneath her ear again, the one that always made her body quake.

“Fuck,” he groaned, dragging his teeth across her jaw. “You feel the same. Still so tight f’me. Still so fuckin’ perfect.” Harry thrusts his hips forward, burying his cock deep within her. Each movement had her bed creaking, the sound of her arousal gushing around the base of his cock obscene and lewd in the best possible way. It coated his pubic bone and thighs, sticky and wet.

Y/N bit her lip, her head lolling back against the pillow, exposing the long line of her throat. “You think saying shit like that makes this less complicated?”

Harry didn’t stop. Couldn’t. “No,” he admitted, voice rough and low, “but maybe it’ll make it easier when I leave.”

Her chest hitched, a shiver rolling through her—not from his words, but from the ache in them. That aching little crack in his voice that sounded like regret finally catching up to him.

She shouldn’t have answered. She knew she shouldn’t have. But her voice came anyway, soft and breathless. “You’re the one who always comes back.”

That struck somewhere deep within him. His rhythm faltered for half a second, just long enough for the truth to land. But then his mouth crashed into hers again, hungry, silencing the sting with his tongue. He kissed her like he could steal her words, bury them inside his lungs so they wouldn’t echo back at him later.

And she let him.

Because she needed to feel something that wasn’t heartbreak. Something real. Something alive.

Her legs tightened around his waist, and her back arched into him, her body shaking under his touch as her release crept closer, hot and consuming. Y/N’s moans were nothing short of pornographic, breathy and sultry whines.

Harry cursed under his breath, the sounds she made unraveling his restraint thread by thread. He reached his hand between them, two fingers finding her clit with ease, puffy and swollen for him. He hissed at the way her jaw dropped open, immediately moving his fingers in fast, tight circles around the bundle of nerves. He knew how sensitive she was, her thighs trembling in their position around his hips. His thrusts never stopped, the sound of wet skin slapping wet skin echoed her bedroom as he fucked into her. Harry watched the way her tits bounced beneath her jumper, each of them still half clothed, having been too caught up in the moment to worry about undressing fully. He didn’t need her nude to know how her body looked, how she felt. Her soft, blissed out features and the warm squeeze of her cunt around his cock would be plenty for him.

“C’mon, Bunny,” he murmured, voice shaking, forehead pressed to hers. “Wanna feel you. Let go f’me.”

The weight of him pressed down, grounding her, anchoring her to the moment, where nothing else outside the walls of her flat existed. Just Harry, just Y/N, and the quiet crackle of something neither of them dared name.

She could feel every inch of him, his breath against her collarbone, his fingers rolling over her clit with eagerness, the slow, torturous grind of his hips as he buried himself deeper, like he belonged there.

Maybe he did.

Maybe he always had.

“Say it again,” she whispered, her voice a velvet thread in the darkness.

Harry blinked, chest rising and falling against hers, lips ghosting over the curve of her jaw.

“Say what?”

“That you missed me.”

His throat bobbed with the swallow. His voice, when it came, was rough with more than just lust. “I did. I do.” His forehead pressed to hers. “Every fucking day I miss you, Y/N.”

That admission cracked something open inside her. Not all the way, just enough to let the ache bleed out, soft and messy. Just enough to let him in again.

She arched into him, her arms circling around his back as if she could pull him beneath her skin, as if she could memorize the weight of him and keep it when he left again. Because he would. That much she knew.

Everything about Harry was too much yet perfectly enough. His teeth nipped at the column of her throat before his tongue soothed the ache, his panted breaths hot and heavy against her neck as he fucked into her.

Y/N was practically mewling, whimpering and trembling as she got closer and closer. Her stomach coiled up tight with each deep thrust, the head of his cock punching through her walls, rough and gentle all at once as if he couldn’t decide which half of himself to give into. Harry’s cock twitched inside of her, a telltale sign he was close.

“Fucking hell…this pussy was made for me, wasn’t it, Bunny? C’mon, tell me who’s pussy this is and I’ll let you cum.” His voice was shattered, deep and sultry as his fingers slowed against her clit to a barely there pressure.

Y/N whimpered, the noise near pathetic as she tried to roll her hips upwards, desperately chasing her high. “It’s yours, Harry. I belong to you.”

Harry puffed out a breath as if her words were too much to handle.

“Good fucking girl. My girl.” He whispered against the shell of her ear, his tongue flicking out to lick a strip against her jaw before, without warning, he sat up, his hands gripping the backs of her calves and pushing her legs up towards her head for an entirely new angle.

She gasped, feeling his cock slip out to the tip in their shift. Harry smirked down at her, his grin devilish. He knew how much she loved this position, how perfectly it let his cock hit that spongy, sensitive spot inside of her. He didn’t waste a second before he tightened his grip and pulled back his hips before slamming them forward.

Y/N cried out his name as he rocked into her with fervent need, groaning at the way her walls clamped down around his cock, desperate to milk him dry. He let one of her legs fall from his grasp, only to slip his hand between their bodies, his thumb rubbing messy, relentless circles over her clit. He drove into her again and again, burying himself to the hilt, never letting her forget exactly how perfectly she took him. His breaths were mixed with shattered low groans as he watched the way her chest rose and fell, how her cheeks had pinkened and her lips hung parted in a perfect, petal pink pout of pleasure. The headboard slammed against the wall in a frantic rhythm, just barely drowning out the filthy wet sounds of his cock plunging through her slick, stretching her open and claiming her in every way. He found his home deep inside her pussy—exactly where he belonged, exactly where he was meant to be.

His Bunny let out a string of whined moans, her thighs quaking, and he knew she was right on edge. “That’s it, sweet girl. Cum all over my cock, show me how much you missed me.” He panted.

Between the desperation in his voice and the way he slammed into her, it only took seconds for Y/N to come crashing down. Her pussy pulsated around Harry’s cock as she let out a low, breathless moan, the sound like music to his ears. The way her walls clenched around him had him thrusting in as deep as he could possibly go, his body surging forward to capture her lips in a hungry kiss. His orgasm hit him hard, pouring into her in long, hot spurts that left him whimpering against her mouth. Sounds of raw yearning and need spilled from him, muffled by their kiss, as her nails dug into the muscles of his lower back. His hips stuttered against her, his body desperate to stay as close to hers as possible, every last drop of him filling her completely. He rolled forward, pushing his cum impossibly deeper as if it would keep it there, keep him there.

Harry stayed buried inside of her, his forehead dropping to press against hers again as they both struggled to catch their breath. Their chests heaved together, sticky skin sliding, the heat between them nearing unbearable. He pressed a lazy, open-mouthed kiss to the corner of her mouth, then her jaw, then the hollow just beneath her ear, murmuring sweet nothings too soft and slurred for either of them to really understand.

“Fuck, Bunny,” he panted, voice rough and wrecked with pleasure. “Missed you. Missed this. Missed being inside you.”

Y/N let out a shaky laugh, still feeling every delicious throb of him, every aftershock rippling through her sensitive body. She tilted her head back just enough to meet his blown, dazed gaze, smirking despite the lingering tremors in her thighs. She’d missed it too, but she wasn’t about to say it, not now, not when she hadn’t gotten her chance to have the upper hand and remind him why he kept coming back here, back to her.

“You better catch your breath, pretty boy,” she whispered against his damp temple, her voice a low, teasing purr. “Because it’s my turn.”

Harry blinked slowly, still half drunk off the high she had just pulled him into. “Your turn?” he repeated, the lazy smile that tugged at his mouth making her want to kiss it clean off.

Y/N grinned, sliding her hands down the damp, muscular plane of his back before giving his hip a playful little squeeze that made him grunt against her. “Mhm,” she hummed, shifting her hips beneath him just enough to make him hiss, his sensitive cock twitching inside her pussy. “You think you can just come in here, fuck me like that after three months, and not deal with the consequences of your actions?”

He let out a rough chuckle, his body still twitching with sensitivity, but his hands found her hips again on instinct, holding on like he already knew she was about to wreck him.

“You’re playing with fucking fire.” She murmured in a mock of his earlier words against his jaw, nipping at his scruff with her teeth, loving the low growl it dragged from his chest.

“Is that right?” Harry rasped, the words barely a thread of sound. “Well…It’s a good thing m’not afraid to get burnt.” He mused, humming out her own response to the same question.

“Mmhm,” Y/N purred, and before he could say anything else, she rolled her hips up into his with a slow, devastating grind. His whole body jerked, a broken moan escaping his throat. “And you, Mr. Styles, are about to find out exactly what happens to bad boys who don’t think they can be outmatched.”

She tightened her legs around his hips, flipping them with a surprising surge of strength and adrenaline that made him grunt out a startled, breathless laugh. He fell back against the mattress, wide-eyed and grinning even as he tried to process the shift.

Y/N straddled him now, hands splayed on his chest, hair wild around her flushed face, a gleam in her eye that promised nothing short of absolute, blissful ruin.

“You think you can handle it?” she teased, rolling her hips again, slow and purposeful, making him gasp and clench the sheets beneath him from the overstimulation.

Harry let his head fall back, the cords in his neck straining as he fought for control. “Fuck, Bunny,” he groaned, voice breaking on the nickname. “You’re gonna kill me.”

She leaned down, brushing her nose against his before catching his bottom lip between her teeth and tugging gently, making him groan again.

“Good,” she whispered against his mouth. “That’s the idea."

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logansdoll · 11 months ago

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jim beam

navigating life in a new universe was already a bit of a struggle for Logan... and Wade just had to make it worse (or far, far, far better) by giving him a "house-warming gift".

CW: suggestive, profanity, takes place after the events of Deadpool 3, Wade is actually really hard to write for, Logan deserves the world, comfort, angst if you squint, etc.

"Honey, I'm home!" Wade loudly sang, kicking open the door to Logan's apartment with a dramatic flourish.

"Fuck me," Logan groaned from his spot on the couch, closing his eyes and allowing his head to lull back with annoyance.

This defeated the entire purpose of why he got his own apartment in the first place.

To avoid these types of interactions with the most persistently, consistently annoying asshole in the entire multiverse.

"Now, now, is that any way to talk to the friend who's about to bring your long lost lover back from the dead?" Wade tutted, skipping into the living room, taking notice of the bottle of liquor resting in Logan's hand.

'So it's that kinda morning...'

"Jim Beam at 10 am on a Tuesday?" he noted, "Well, I guess it's five o'clock nowhere... so have at it."

"What did you just say?" Logan sat up straight, brows furrowed as he focused on Wade's previous statement.

"Alcoholics everywhere salute you for taking your liver where no organ has gone before."

"Wade."

"I'm honestly starting to believe you do it for the love of the game rather than the expositional, look how sad he is plot device the author is currently using... I mean, seriously? Can we skip past all this bullshit and get to the—"

Quickly, Logan grabbed him by the front of his suit, yanking him closer with an angrily confused expression.

"If anything besides a goddamn answer comes out of your mouth... I will stab you in the face," he growled, spelling out each syllable to further his point. "What the hell do you mean bring her back from the dead?"

To Logan, you were everything

The sun. The moon. The air. The clouds.

Despite seeing all the horrible thing he'd done, and knowing firsthand just how much of an asshole he could be, you still smiled at him.

No matter how many times he pushed you away, you were relentless.

Keeping his room together while he was away finding himself.

Making him meals when you noticed he he'd gone without eating.

Forcing him to take breathers after intense sessions in the Danger Room.

For the longest, he couldn't wrap his head around someone like you caring about a jackass like him.

Until he got fed up and just outright asked.

But, as if nothing, you answered:

"Your past makes think you don't deserve love, Logan," you started, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned up against the counter. "You storm around here with a rude ass attitude and a smart mouth hoping to convince me of that... but if anything, you're only making it worse for yourself."

You smiled, looking up at him with a glint in your eye that sent shocks running down his spine.

"Because in my heart of hearts I know you're a man who wants care and attention, just like everybody else."

With a chuckle, you rested a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"And I'll keep shovin' dinners down your throat until you realize that."

Despite having everyone else fooled, you saw right through him, and true to your word, you didn't give up.

With every made bed, every meal, every conversation, Logan felt himself falling deeper into your charm, and over a glass of Jim Beam did he finally realize that he was in love with you.

But, like everything else he cared about in this world, you were taken away from him.

Unable to find your body in the rubble of the mansion, he looked high and low, quite literally going to the ends of the Earth to find you.

But after years of searching with nothing to show for it, he returned to the bottle, drowning himself in sorrow and regret.

Or, at least... until now.

"Well, according to the manual, she's not exactly dead, but she is unconscious," Wade answered, matter-of-factly.

"Unconscious?" Logan's brows furrowed, still quite confused.

Freeing himself from the man's grip, Wade stood up, going back around the couch and pulling out a small tablet from his pocket.

"See, I've noticed your humble abode could use a little sprucing, so I went back to our buddies at the TVA and kindly reminded them that you saved the multiverse and, godammnit, you deserve a reward."

"Get to the fuckin' point, jackass," Logan spat, turning to face him.

"So they sent some men back to your universe and found your girl!" Wade cheered, opening up a portal and reaching his hand in, pulling out a cryo-chamber with you inside.

The moment Logan's eyes met your sleeping face, all color and vibrancy seemed to return to the world.

He was at a loss for words.

You were here... not some dream or hallucination of guilt... but actually, truly, physically here.

"Apparently, some science fuckers were keeping her in a black site and testing to see how long she could go without aging. I won't bore you with the details," Wade explained, pulling out a small knife from his boot. "Now, let's break this bad boy open and meet the future Mrs. Wolverine!"

Before Logan could stop him, Wade stabbed the keypad at the side of the chamber, opening the door and sending you falling forward.

In an instant, Logan dropped his bottle and leaped over the couch, catching you just before you could face-plant on the hardwood floor.

"Watch it!" Logan roared, less than happy that you'd only been there for about three minutes and Wade had already almost broken your nose.

"I am so sorry!" Wade gasped, his hands slapping his cheeks in shock. "I didn't think she'd actually fall out the chamber when they told me she'd fall out the chamber... Nice save, though, Romeo."

Turning you over, Logan cupped your cheek, the chill of your skin already beginning to warm.

But you were still out cold, limp in his grasp as he held you close to his chest.

"She's not waking up..." Logan noticed, brows furrowed. "Why the hell isn't she waking up?"

"Easy there, tiger. They told me how long it takes varies from person to person," Wade assured, shutting the portal. "Some take minutes, others hours. It could be a couple of days before she even opens her eyes."

An expression of solemnity slid over Logan's face as he gazed over yours, your skin still so flesh colored, it looked as if you were sleeping.

Just as soft and tender as he remembered.

And he had full intentions on keeping it that way.

Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he ghosted his hand over your cheek.

In that moment, he swore to himself that he'd never leave you again.

He'd be a friend, a bodyguard, a lover, whatever you wanted, but no matter his title, anything that wanted to harm you would have to do so over his dead body.

And even then he'd force himself to get back up and fight.

This world was giving him a second chance at life, a second chance at a life with you, and he'd be damned if he let anything ruin it.

Suddenly, you took in an aggressive gasp, scaring the shit out of Wade as your eyes snapped open.

"Holy fucking shit nuggets!" he jolted, jumping from his spot across he room as Logan allowed his shoulders to sink, mumbling a quiet thanks to whatever god or deity brought you back to him.

Feeling a strong set of arms cradling you, you looked up, solace setting into your bones at the sight of the familiar man before you, who was unable to stop the few joyful tears escaping his eyes.

"Logan—"

Without a moment's hesitation, his lips were on yours, making up for what felt like a lifetime of loss by dumping all of his passion, all of his love, all of his devotion into one Earth shattering kiss.

You melted into it seamlessly, your hand finding home in his scruffy hair as he pulled you flush against him, clutching you with a death grip.

Donning a cheeky smile under his mask, Wade turned away to give you both a moment, thought not without making a crude sex gesture behind his back.

'I don't think Miss (Y/N)/Girl Sitting At Home Reading This is gonna be able to walk tomorrow...'

With a gasp, the two of you separated, Logan's hand raising to cup your cheek, relishing how easily you leaned into him.

"(y/n)... I thought I lost you," he panted, his eyes scouring over your face, committing every detail to memory.

"For a while, you did," you sighed with a grin, carding a hand through the few gray strands in his hair, before comparing them to your own. "Time looks good on you."

He chuckled, quietly relieved you still found him attractive after all these years.

Sitting up, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled the man into a bone crushing hug, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm not really sure what happened... or how I'm alive..." you weakly laughed, starting to get choked up. "But I know that if you go out drinking without me ever again, I'm putting your head on a spike."

Instantly, Logan's arms wrapped around your waist, holding you reverently as if he let go for one moment, the powers that be would part him from you.

"I swear on my life... I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

#james howlett #james howlett x reader #logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #wolverine x reader #x men #x men x reader #wolverine

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thenewgirl76 · 4 months ago

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Babies Having Raising Babies

Deciding to visit Amity Park and hang out with Danny for a bit before getting back to her globetrotting, Ellie arrives just in time to witness Plasmius ambush and abduct her original/big brother. Knowing a direct confrontation won't end well she opts to follow the older halfa from a greatly lengthened distance.

Once she makes it to the castle and sneaks into the lab she finds Danny out cold and now significantly younger, with Vlad standing over him holding an empty syringe. It takes everything in Ellie not to rush her demented creator right then and there and instead wait it out for an opportune moment to strike.

When Vlad's in the process of placing a rather nefarious looking device on the unconscious three year old's head is when Phantasm acts, grabbing up Vlad's spectral energy neutralizer and trapping him in it before he can get his guard back up. With the crazed billionaire subdued she then thoroughly wrecks the lab and takes off with Danny.

Even after she's well out of range of Wisconsin Ellie doesn't stop, continuing to fly at top speed until all her energy's been spent. She barely manages to avoid crash landing into the barn she came across before blacking out from sheer exhaustion.

She eventually stirs at the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked pie. The sight that greets her upon rousing is her now little brother wide awake and happily scarfing down a generous slice of pecan pie, as well as a boy her age holding the rest, watching them both from a respectful distance.

It's only through the frantic promise of telling no-one about them and offering of more food that Ellie doesn't go invisible, snatch up Danny, and hightail it out of the barn in a blind panic. The boy introduces himself after she calms down as Jon Kent, explaining she and Danny were currently in Kansas and in his grandparents' barn.

And true to his word, Jon keeps the two of them a secret and consistently supplies them with food, even goes a step further by giving some of his old clothes to Danny and periodically sneaking them into the house to use the shower.

Though suspicious of his kindness in the beginning, only taking advantage for Danny's sake, it isn't long before Ellie comes to trust the farmboy and feel quite a bit of guilt for taking so much and giving nothing in return, no matter how many times Jon tells her he doesn't mind and is happy to help.

Overtime the two teens grow comfortable enough to share the more secretive parts of their lives, Jon as Superboy and Ellie both as Phantasm and what led to her first crashing into the Kent's barn with Danny. Further along the way the half ghost and half kryptonian start to develop feelings for each other.

For the first time in her short life Ellie isn't so strongly against staying in one place for extended periods of time. Unconventional as the whole situation is, technically being a runaway along with now having someone she was responsible for, she could get used to all of this. The only downside is that Danny, having been stripped of nearly all his memories thanks to whatever Vlad injected into him and now too young to know any better won't stop calling her and Jon Mommy and Daddy. Jon sees no harm in it and thinks it's cute. But Ellie just knows anyone who hears is going to get the wrong idea.

This is unfortunately proven when one day Jon's dad finally returns from a team mission offworld and not too soon after must deal with Livewire. When Jon finds out and rushes off to help he doesn't realize Danny is following him invisibly, wanting to see him in action. Throughout the entirety of the fight Superboy is blissfully unaware of the presence of his girlfriend's little brother, only to be unpleasantly surprised once Livewires been taken down and Danny unexpectedly appears, cheering for him.

Before his dad can question him Phantasm makes her own appearance and proceeds to scold Danny for wandering off, adding to Superman's confusion and giving Jon a bad feeling. That's when the bomb drops as Danny, feeling properly contrite attempts to appease Ellie, apologizing to "Mommy" before expressing that he wanted to watch "Daddy" fight bad guys.

Immediately Jon finds himself cringing. He doesn't want to, but he has to. So he slowly turns to take in his father's expression. And just as he feared, his dad is looking deathly pale and seconds away from having a heart attack. Okay. Maybe Ellie had a point about nipping this in the bud before someone jumped to conclusions.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #superman #danny fenton/phantom #ellie/dani phantom #vlad masters/plasmius #jon kent/superboy #clark kent-kal el/superman #ellie+jon #super chaos #de aged danny #amnesic danny #jon only discovered the two so fast because danny woke up first and feeling hungry tried to swipe the pie from the open window #only to get caught in the act as he was having a bit of trouble staying invisible #usually it's danny taking care of de aged ellie and finding love along the way #while it's undeniably adorable it would be just as cute the other way around #as well as downright hilarious if you throw in misunderstanding shenanigans like this

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natewriteslol · 11 months ago

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Delicious In Dungeon Having a Crush on You HC's!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:

Summary: Just like the title says, how they would act if they had a crush on you including how you find out!

Pt.2 w Kabru, Shuro and Falin!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*

Senshi:

-I'm not going to lie it is going to take a fat minute for him to fess up his feelings for you let alone for people to notice because it is the little things that stand out.

-Senshi is really good at keeping secrets and is a really private person and fights for his peace

-So what if he may slip a little bit more food onto your plate, make your favorite dishes only for you if the ingredients for it just so happens to be in his bag, is always the first person to get you out of a dangerous situation? It's all out of convenience and being kind

-But his lack of casualty is also really telling like when giving out compliments he sometimes has a tinge of shyness to his voice, "You look...very nice y-yes"

-The way you find out he has a crush on you is because he eventually comes to a realization that he cannot keep running away from his problems because that has never ended in anything good and confesses his feelings for you

-It happened whilst everyone was asleep and it was just you two alone by the fire, the embers were crackling and you always enjoyed watching it ablaze while talking with Senshi. Eventually he piped up after staying silent for so long and having you take the lead in talking,

"I don't mean to corner you, nor do I expect you to feel the same but...I have feelings for you, genuinely Y/N. And, meeting you in this party means the world to me, as you all are unique treasures but you. I couldn't imagine just walking away without letting you know how much you mean to me."

-Honestly, Senshi is one of the least in denial about this predicament with his feelings and will come to you sooner

Marcille:

-A person who completely avoids her feelings for you like the plague and will deny like her life depends on it

-She swears to others that it's just because you're an amazing friend!

-She brings you your favorite sweet treats, offers to cast magic for your slightest inconveniences, she just so happens to bring books that are about the things you mentioned one off or are a specific interest you love

-The contrast of how she treats others vs. You is so jarring and it's really obvious that she has a crush on you. She is really protective and a bit possessive (not in a weird way) over you and she does not really care about the other people in her party like that

-Anytime she's afraid of something, she holds onto you, Marcille is VERY touchy with her crush

-The blonde blushes pretty consistently and is really shy when it comes to you and tries to appear nonchalant but fails miserably

-It's honestly so bad that even Laios caught on after Senshi threw him a clue and one time when it was just him asked her, which resulted in her coming clean and being VERY distressed as if she committed a crime

-The way you find out she has a crush on you is when you're on a mission in a dungeon. She was near a weeping willow exerting mana, rumored to grant wishes to anyone who asks.

-She held a piece of paper and was on her knees, looking up at the grand tree on the soft blades of grass. She began speaking to the tree once you silently walked in through the cave hole to check on her and the half-elf was completely unknowing of your intrusion,

-"Please they're the love of my life, and I'm not asking to force them but maybe...show me a sign if they like me back. They make me feel like no other and I am just so confused and I need guidance, Ancient Willow."

Chilchuck:

-Deny. Deny. Deny. Deny.

-Oh, and did I say deny

-He absolutely hates being the person caught with egg on his face and being in the wrong, so the fact that he himself Mr. 'No Party Romances' violated his own rules?

-He wants to fall into a hole right on the spot

-While he is a grown ass man and doesn't want to be a coward, Chilchuck doesn't want to face this problem head on surprisingly (sarcasm)

-He shows his love for you by trying to keep you the safe the most out of everyone in the party, scolds you HEAVILY when you mess up that could've cost you your life

-Some may say that it's just Chilchuck's explosive nature, Senshi was actually the first to see through it and grow suspicion over his behavior but honestly didn't have enough evidence for his theory and was shot down by Laios and Marcille

-It's not extremely obvious his slight shift in treatment until you had been kidnapped by the Chain Devil to protect Chilchuck from it's clutches

-And multiple times have members of the party have been kidnapped and although shaken he was able to keep his cool...but this time it was heavily different

-He let out a horrified scream that they had never heard from the Half-Foot before. He scrambled to his feet after watching you getting pulled into the darkness, his eyes were glassy and full of panic as he asked the rest on what they should do

-When they get you back, you were too tired to really stand so you laid in the sleeping bag as everyone else slept as well, but the brown haired man never left your side and watched as you slept

-...or so he thought

-You find out about his true feelings as you laid in your sleeping bag. As you were drifting in and out consciousness but felt light weight on the side of your body and Chilchuck began to talk to you, asking if you were awake

-"Good, you're fast asleep...I hope you know that I'm not hard on you because I don't like you that's...not even close to the truth.

I love you, so much and...I get so damn scared for you."

Laios:

-Constant. Monster. Facts.

-One of the things that makes Laios so attracted to you is that you listen and like when he nerds out so please be prepared. You're a safe space to spew out knowledge and it means the world to him

-Consistently gives you small little gifts, but then sometimes gifts to the others so it doesn't look suspicious. Maybe it was something with the light but, the look in his eye as he gave you the bracelet and put it on you was so different.

-Usually doesn't care about other people being in a towels or shirtless, but when it's you he feels like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. When he sees your collar bones and he tries to keep it very lokwey, but is highkey blushing

-Gives you some sketches of your favorite creatures, always "accidentally" makes your favorite dish for dinner nights, pouts a little when you need to be gone without him for a little

-If you're ever feeling insecure he might open his gob a little too much, "I get maybe why you'd feel that way but, if you ask me I think it's pretty hot" he says with a blank, enthusiastic smile on his face not at all understanding how that could come off

-You find out that the knight has a crush on you the first time he gets absolutely hammered with Senshi, Chilchuck as he was convinced by the two to get drunk

-The bar was packed in one of the "safe spaces" in town and you and Marcille were kinda the designated sober people within your party, and whilst the half elf was in the bathroom you decided to get some fresh air and got up from the stool seat

-"Whatcha' doing party is jus' getting started?" Laios asks

-You shot him a look over the shoulder and responded softly, "I need some fresh air hun, I'll be right back."

-And there went his inner dialogue. Out his mouth.

-"Woah, how sexy. Being in love really sucks sometimes since I'd really do tricks like a dog to be with them good god."

-The look you gave dobered him almost completely, and if that wasn't enough Marcille was right behind him and heard every word

-Love is cringe but he is free I guess.

Part Two:Kabru, Shuro and Falin!

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yunwangja · 1 year ago

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touch - tobio kageyama oneshot

kageyama feels jealous as he notices that the other karasuno members can be physically affectionate with you while he struggles to do the same, thanks to your hesitation whenever he tries to get close.

genre: slight drama? romantic angst? its kageyama being frustrated so ig yeah, also eventual fluff

tags: kageyama x fem!reader, high school friends to lovers

warnings/notes: swearing, honestly that's it lol. also THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SORRY IF ITS LACKING /,,,,: i tried my best for them to be in character too so if not mb >< also approx. 1.2k words

kageyama’s thoughts had been swirling lately, a tumult of confusion and frustration. and it was all because of you.

he found himself watching you more often than he cared to admit, noticing every smile exchanged, every casual touch with other members of the volleyball team that seemed effortless. midterms and practices passed in a blur, overshadowed by his own internal questioning.

why did he feel like you were avoiding him so subtly? why did simple interactions feel like navigating a minefield? happenings from days ago has been haunting him, your subtle movements away from him echoing in his mind.

he wanted to be closer to you, and understand why you seemed so distant whenever he tries to. only thing was: he’s bad at this. he’s bad at expressing his feelings and making a mess of himself, especially in front of you. how could he do this so naturally when you keep on backing away?

"y/n-chan! you’re here!" hinata exclaimed joyfully, bounding over to greet you. oh right, i’m in practice. kageyama thought and snapped back to reality, mainly because of hinata’s loud announcement of your arrival, and well, because, it’s you.

his head snapped towards the gym entrance, catching your smile as you exchanged greetings with hinata.

"how was midterms?" sugawara approached you and asked kindly, prompting a hesitant response from you, "uh, they were fine, i think. hehe." the third year patted your head comfortingly, "i'm sure you did great."

kageyama's chest tightened slightly at the gesture, his irritation simmering beneath his composed exterior as he focused on his serves.

"wow, tobio, you're as consistent as ever," daichi commented seeing his performance, with asahi nodding in agreement. you managed to wave to kageyama from beside yachi, and he nodded in acknowledgment before returning to his practice.

practice officially began with a three-on-three match: tanaka, sugawara, and asahi against hinata, kageyama, and tsukishima. you stood near tanaka's team and cheered enthusiastically as he spiked, "nice kill, tanaka-senpai!"

tanaka grinned proudly and threw an arm around your shoulders, basking in your praise. “it’s nothing, y/n!”

kageyama's frustration flared again. why can't i do that too? kageyama wondered silently.

he decides to lash it out on tsukishima, pushing him to block their spikes better - to which the tall teammate responded with an exasperated roll of his eyes.

it all started a few days ago - you were having lunch on the rooftop with hinata and kageyama. hinata was engrossed in his own thoughts, while kageyama had this plan to subtly get closer to you, unsure and hesitant about being too forward. he wasn't particularly skilled at these things.

as kageyama inched closer, you immediately noticed and instinctively pulled back a bit, nervously remarking, "oh, is the sun shining on your side?" even though the weather was perfect and there was no sunlight. kageyama glanced down and replied, "uh, no... yeah, thanks. you didn't have to move unless it's cramped for you."

"no, as long as you have enough space," you awkwardly chuckled, trying to ease the panic you felt and continued eating.

kageyama sighed inwardly, contemplating another approach. he just wanted to be more gentle and affectionate towards you, just like the others do. hell, maybe, more than they do.

while you were sipping your beverage, you happened to try blueberry-flavored milk for the first time. "this is an interesting flavor," you remarked.

"really? what brand is it?" kageyama asked, attempting to hold your hand with the milk carton while leaning closer to you, making his face close to yours.

once again, you panic and quickly hand him the carton instead, "i-i don't know. you can check it yourself." you stood up to gather your things, suggesting, "let's go now," with hinata obediently following. he urged kageyama to hurry up as he remained on the floor with the now-empty blueberry milk carton.

from that moment, thoughts began to swirl in kageyama's mind—why did you keep avoiding him? was he making you uncomfortable? did you not like being close to him? was he being too much?

walking back to your classrooms, kageyama was stopped in his thoughts when he noticed hinata subtly linking his arm with yours. "y/n-chan! look!" hinata excitedly pointed out a stall being set up outside the window for the upcoming school festival.

you squealed with excitement and both of you jumped up and down, holding hands. kageyama couldn't help but notice the contrast—why was it okay for hinata to touch you like this, but not him? was he doing something wrong? did you dislike him?

"aren't you excited, kageyama?" hinata's question pulled him back from his thoughts. he quickly masked his inner turmoil and casually walked past both of you, muttering, "i don't care", making hinata complain about his lack of school spirit, while you just giggled in response.

back in the present, you continued cheering for tanaka's team after your interaction with him, prompting hinata to playfully pout, "y/n-chan, cheer for us too!"

you laughed and nodded, encouraging everyone with a big smile. “do your best too, hinata! tsukishima, kageyama!” kageyama would normally be melting inside, but today his mind was all over the place, frustrated. this drove him to be set on winning.

i don’t need to be close to you. i don’t even need your cheers. he resolved silently (and pettily), i'll prove it. and he did.

as practice ended with his team's victory, everyone dispersed, leaving you and kageyama, since you were walking in the same direction. "thanks for your hard work," you greeted him cheerfully, but he merely nodded, avoiding eye contact.

trying to engage him in conversation, you remarked on his performance, but kageyama's responses remained curt. "you were really cool as always, but you seemed even more fired up today after seeing tanaka-senpai’s spike," you commented lightly, trying to lighten the mood.

"you're so petty," you teased with a giggle, but kageyama stayed silent, lost in his thoughts.

as you walked and chatted animatedly about a recent volleyball match, a bicycle approached unnoticed.

just in time, kageyama noticed and instinctively pulled you closer, holding your hand to prevent you from getting hurt. flustered by his sudden action—and the fact that he was holding your hand—you looked at him in surprise.

"watch where you're going," kageyama said gruffly, his hands holding yours intensely. you awkwardly laughed off the situation, "i'm sorry. thanks though!"

glancing at your hands still together, you attempted to pull away. “you can let go now,” you try to smile.

there you go again, he thinks. he’s been experiencing this from you for days and it’s been pissing him off. he’s had enough.

kageyama held on to his grip on yours. "no," he said firmly and looked ahead. confused, "what? it’s fine, really, you don’t have to hold my hand,” you try to assure him and continued to let go of his hand.

his expression softened slightly as he slowly looked at you, revealing a hint of vulnerability beneath his usual tough exterior. "why, can't i hold your hand?" he questioned, his voice quieter but determined.

you were taken aback by his question. where is this coming from? you never really noticed anything unusual about his behavior—at least, not that you were aware of.

you try to stay calm for now. "what do you mean? of course you can, but there's no need to anymo—"

"that's a lie. you don't even let me touch you." he maintains eye contact with you. you can't quite grasp what he means yet, but despite the firmness in his voice, his eyes seem to be pleading, as if he's waiting for something.

"do i make you uncomfortable, y/n?" he asks while you're still processing the situation. you shake your head. "no, not at all."

"then why can't i hold your hand?" he continues. "you let the other members do it all the time, especially hinata. why do you treat me so differently?"

shit.

technically, you know why you were acting this way. you just never thought that this was something kageyama would even think or care about, so you just behaved this way naturally.

"i…" nothing else comes out. at this point, you and kageyama are having a staring contest. you want to go home—you’re nervous as hell—but he’s looking at you like he won’t leave until you answer him. "where is this coming from, kageyama?"

"hinata links arms with you, holds hands with you. sugawara-senpai pats your head all the time. tanaka-senpai has a habit of putting his arm around you whenever you compliment him—all of them get to touch you like that, and you don’t even care. but i just come and sit closer to you, and you back away already?"

honestly, you are amazed at how he remembers your interactions with the other members. to you, what they did was nothing to think about, but kageyama noticed every detail.

you knew kageyama—well, at least this trait of his; the fact that he is actually opening up about this means it has bothered him for quite some time. it dumbfounds you that these "small" things to you actually mattered to him—a lot, maybe even more than you realize.

you look down at the ground, breaking eye contact. "y/n—"

"you are right, kageyama, it is different."

"because i don't care if the others do it to me," you say, lifting your gaze back to him, a sense of vulnerability in your eyes this time. "but i care when you do."

you see the surprise on his face. "too much that it could kill me, honestly." he looks bewildered. "w-what? i don't understand."

"unlike the others, i…" your cheeks flush, and your eyes linger somewhere else again as you brace yourself for what you're about to say. "i want you to touch me."

this shocks kageyama, but leaves him wanting more answers.

"i want you to be close to me like that so badly, but it’s too much—it feels selfish. i mean, it’s not like you’re going to benefit much from that. it's all just for myself. i bet you don't want to do that, so i purposely avoided physical contact with you."

there was a few seconds of silence before he could even respond to that. "idiot," he whispers while keeping his head down, but loud enough for you to hear. you look at him, quite embarrassed that you just lowkey confessed to him, and now he's calling you an idiot. he takes a breath and closes his eyes. "why? i just answered you—"

"i want to!" he shouts, his voice rising sharply.

now, you both keep surprising each other.

"i'm not complaining here just because i think you treat me differently from them! hell, i couldn't care any less if it was anyone else. but it's you, y/n."

"i'm frustrated because i want to touch you like that too!"

he looks away, feeling shy. "i want to hold your hand and pat your head when i want to. i want to stand and sit close to you so i can feel you beside me. i want to be able to hug you when i score a point during a match," he pauses, "although i don't think you're allowed on the bench during a match—but that's not the point!"

he looks so cute, but this is also all new to you. you don't know how to feel about his confession. you don't know if this literally means he likes you (which you do too), but one thing is for sure.

you weren't being selfish after all.

"so, please, y/n…"

"let me. and don't avoid me," he says. "it hurts when you do, you know."

your eyes fill with concern. you take a few seconds before speaking again, "kageyama."

he looks at you shyly. "what?"

you respond by grabbing his hand, intertwining it with yours. "okay."

he looks down to see your hands together, and his face turns bright red. "you can hold my hand." he looks up to see your smiling face.

"i'm sorry for avoiding you like that. i thought you really didn't mind. and cared. thank you for telling me what you felt," you apologize.

he shakes his head. "no, you did nothing wrong. and i'm not actually mad, you know…"

"i was just frustrated. i'm sorry i kind of shouted just now."

you shake your head and start to walk again, letting your linked hands guide him as well. "no, no. i know. i'm even glad you let it all out. that's a big step, in my opinion, after knowing you these past months," you say.

he looks at you, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. it's as if he didn't expect you to notice. you didn't show any trace of anger or hurt after how he acted just now—you even cared about what he felt. his expression softens, a mix of amazement and shy delight flickering across his face and looks away again. "well, that's what i'm trying to learn these days."

"that's good," you give him what he thinks is the sweetest smile.

you both continue walking hand-in-hand towards the street corner where you usually part ways—kageyama takes the bus while you head in the other direction to the train station. after your intense and revealing conversation, the rest of the walk is quiet.

"y/n," he breaks the silence, and you look at him, urging him to say what he wants.

"uh, you know," he looks shy again, scratching the back of his head.

"what is it?" you ask.

"i'm just saying this to put it out there, but…" he squirms, "you can call me by my first name if you want to."

you are taken aback first by what he says. after absorbing his words, you laugh, and he continues to blush.

"all right, tobio."

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #tobio kageyama #kageyama tobio #tobio x reader #kageyama x reader

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mountainsandmayhem · 6 months ago

Text

BDSMaid - Chapter 7

Series Summary: After recently graduating you take what is supposed to be a job to save money before you go back to university to get your law degree. Your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. Easy. Simple. Mundane. Until one of your clients is home and everything you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.

CW: 18+ MDNI. In order to avoid spoilers, all tags are under the cut in small red lettering. Reader does have some body descriptions so more of an oc than female reader.

AN: I am not the least bit sorry for the ending 😉

Word Count: 8k

Series Masterlist | My Masterlist | AO3

TW: open door smut scenes, unprotected P in V. Cream pie. Squirting. Use of nipple clamps. Oral (female receiving). Fingering (anal and vaginal). Ass play. Use of nicknames (good girl, sweet girl). Pussy and dick pronouns. Joel having a filthy mouth.

You

Holy shit, I just fucked Joel Miller.

The thought rattles around your brain over and over, as if the more you say the more real it will feel, but you’re still floating, still up in the clouds even though you’re firmly tucked against Joel's side. Your head rests in his chest, rising and falling with the quick rhythm of this breathing. Your eyes flick down to his beautiful cock; it’s standing straight up, ready whenever you are, as you both try to slow your heartbeats and breathing. You nestle your body tighter to the warm, solid wall of a man beside you, wrapping a leg around his. He slides his fingers up and down your spine. As you lay in silence your mind races.

“Just call me Joel”.

There are almost too many things bouncing around your head, making it hard to focus on only one. Does he love me? When I tell him what I've decided with college, will he think I’m staying in Austin because of this? Aren’t I staying in Austin because of this? How else do I explain it? What about my friends? I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore; is this worth losing my job over? What if this is all part of his plan? Sleep with me and then use it as a reason to end our dom/sub relationship? Is this even a dom/sub relationship anymore?

Anxiety and worry start to buzz through your veins. The sight of soft belly and rock hard cock blurs. You slam your eyes shut, the unknown starting to overwhelm you. Sucking in a big breath, you try to break the vice grip that’s starting to tighten around on your lungs and throat.

“Are you ok?” Joel says softly.

“Ya,” you nod as his free hand that's been tucked under his head comes to your chin and tilts it up. The moment you’re engulfed by his soft chocolate brown eyes, your brain stops. Quiet washes over you. You’re safe here, you’ve always been safe here. Rolling over, you perch yourself on his leg and hip, chin resting on the tops of your hands as they lay on his chest. You can feel his heart beating strong and steady under your hands. That’s what you need: consistent stability. No, not need, deserve.

Joel removes the golden clip from your hair. “Freckles, I probably should have said this before, but this isn’t what I normally do with my subs, and I’m…”

His eyes dance around yours as he pauses. You can see a million emotions happening at once, all of them mirrored in yours. Fear. Happiness. Confusion. Anxiety. Vulnerability. But mostly, love. You finish the sentence for him.

“I’m pretty sure we aren’t just a dom and a sub, Joel. I don’t know if we ever have been.”

I love you.

With that, he pulls himself up, stuffing some pillows so he can lean comfortably against the headboard. You follow, and he guides you to straddle his lap, his cock pressed between your bodies. The air between you feels thick with emotion. Both of you look at the other, your shallow breaths in sync before both of you snap and dive in. The kiss is hungry and desperate. There’s probably a million things you both could say, but in this moment, the kiss is enough.

“I’m never going to get enough of you,” he moans as your lips trail his jawline.

“Good,” you hum, sliding your hips up to drag your pussy along his length. You’ve slept with a handful of men before Joel, but it’s never been this passionate with anyone else. You just had each other, yet here you both are, acting like it’s been years since you’ve touched. His head falls back, a sigh passing his parted lips as you kiss down his neck.

“Fuck that feels good, sweet girl.” His hands tighten along your hips. Joel is always so concerned with your pleasure and needs, so for now, or for as long as he’ll let you, you spend time focusing on him. You kiss every inch of him that you can reach: his neck and shoulders, his collarbone and ear lobes, all while softly grinding against his cock. Every moan and gasp from his lips has you growing wetter.

You drag your slippery pussy up his cock, both of you completely coated in your arousal. Joel lifts you to hover above his cock. “Need to feel you wrapped around me again. Please, sweet girl.”

You capture the sound of him begging with your lips, snake a hand in between your bodies, and guide the tip of his bare cock inside of yourself. You shudder and whimper at the delicious stretch of him. “Oh god.”

“This pussy,” he coos, and the sound of his weakness at the feel of you has the muscles behind your navel tightening. Your lips find his again as you slowly work yourself down his cock. “That’s my girl, nice and slow.”

You rock and grind, sliding him in further, your body writhing as you take inch by tortuous inch. As your hips finally come into contact with his, you still your movements and relax into the feeling of him at this new angle. Joel is definitely big, not in a scary romance novel kind of way, but bigger and thicker than you’ve been with. “Joel,” you mew, the vowels of his name lasting longer than they should and you tuck your head into his neck.

“It’s all you, baby girl. Just sit on him if you need to, fuck.” He kisses your shoulder, hands moving to the globes of your ass. “Tell me how it feels.”

“F-full,” you whine into his skin.

“What else, my sweet girl?”

“You’re so big, J-Joel. I can feel you everywhere. I - I need, oh my god.” You grind your hips forward slightly, the cool metal of his piercing sending a shockwave through your clit and up your spine. “More. I need more.”

“Just take it, baby. I’m yours.” He rasps between kisses along your shoulder and neck.

You pull back, your face mere inches from him. He’s everywhere all at once and the painful stretch of your cunt around his cock starts to become an intense burning pleasure with each flick of your hips.

“Suck on my nipples,” you gasp, leaning back slightly. The shiny silver ring in his pelvis presses harder against your clit, and now, not only are you madly in love with Joel Miller, you’re also so fucking addicted that not even a twelve step program could fix you.

He obeys your wishes, sucking your right nipple into his warm mouth roughly and swirling his tongue as your hips grind back and forth once, twice, three times. He moans against your skin, moving his hands up your body to cup both your breasts. “Harder, please Joel, harder.”

Your movements become less fluid; your clit aches with every brush against his piercing. The muscles behind your navel start to feel like they’re going to snap. He moves to the other nipple, meeting it with his teeth, but it’s still not enough.

“Harder,” you beg.

“Do you need clamps, baby?” Of course this man would know what you need; he’s never not known what you need.

“Yes, god yes. I need more.”

“Can you reach the top drawer of the nightstand?” You nod, then push his sweaty curls away from his forehead. He raises an eyebrow and you reach into the drawer, pulling out a small set of gold nipple clamps. “Good girl. Now, can you reach my hat at the end of the bed?”

You press your lips into a thin line to stop your smile and nod excitedly. He winks and you turn your upper body the other way and stretch to reach his hat. As soon as you place it on his head you feel the sharp pressure of the clamp on your left nipple. The pain heightens the feeling of him inside of you and a high pitched whine leaves your throat.

“Fuck, please, Joel. Please.”

As he places the second clamp he says, “You don’t even know what you’re begging for, do you?”

A mix between a whimper and a whine passes your lips in response and your lashes flutter shut. “That’s what I thought. Just as long as I keep myself deep in this tight little pussy, you’ll be happy. Won’t you?”

The second clamp evens out the pain and sends a wave of adrenaline through your system. You pick up the speed of your hips. His piercing bumps against your clit, the pleasure coursing through your veins mixed with the burning pinch on your nipples is almost all the ingredients you need to fall over the edge.

“You’re doing so well for me, sweet girl. Wish you could see how good you look right now.” Joel moves his hands back to your ass, pulling you forward in time with the pace you’ve set.

“I love - Joel, oh my god.” You want to tell him how much you love the feeling of him inside of you, how much you love the words he says and the praise he gives, but you aren’t capable of forming sentences with the way his piercing teases at your clit. All you can do is let your forehead fall to his shoulder, your eyes squeezing tighter.

“Love what, huh?” He whispers deeply into your ear. “The feeling of my bare cock so deep inside of you that you can feel it in your stomach? Or the way my piercing feels against your swollen clit? Or maybe you love the pain of the clamps on your nipples as you ride me? Huh? Is that what you love, baby?” You make a gasping whining sound of agreement.

“Look at me,” he adds. It takes all of your strength to sit back up and open your eyes. When he comes into focus you’re overcome with desire. He’s so much more than you could ever imagine in his new black cowboy hat, pupils blown wide with passion, and cheeks flushed a light pink. “Good girl, keep your eyes on me. I want to see it in your eyes when you come on my cock.”

Your hips slow, but you push your clit harder against his pelvis, and you blurt the first thought you have. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Joel.”

A smile tug of his cheek reveals the boyish dimple you love so much. You slide your hands from his shoulders to the short hair at the nape of his neck. You’re close, so very close. “Come with me, I’m so close,” you whimper.

“I know, Freckles. Fuck, I can feel it.” He doesn’t take his eyes off yours, but the flex of his jaw tells you he’s holding back for you. “Squeezin’ me so tight. Fuck, can feel her fluttering, listen to how wet you are.”

You reach back and grab his wrist, squeezing it gently, “Spank me.”

“Christ, sweet girl.”

You release his wrist, and without looking away he spanks you hard and you are launched into your orgasm. His face lights up with admiration as you chant a mixture of his name and ‘oh god’. You grind frantically into his piercing, your clit practically vibrating at the attention.

“That’s it baby. Good, fuck, I’m gonna, good girl. Don’t stop, fuck, don’t stop.” He slaps your ass again and that same familiar pooling of liquid starts to build.

“More,” you cry and he spanks you again.

You feel the gush of your cum, and Joel takes over as you’re consumed by pleasure. His strong hands grip your hips, moving you at a slower pace. “There she goes, such a messy little pussy.”

You peel your eyes away from him, looking down at the way his piercing presses against your clit when your bodies meet. “Fill me,” you moan.

“Fuck - oh fuck, sweet girl.” Your orgasm starts to fade and you tug at the hair you can reach.

“Fill me, Joel. I want to feel you leaking out of me for days.” You aren’t sure where this version of yourself has come from. Just weeks ago you wandered around JMKink all wide-eyed and nervous, and now you’re saying words that you never thought you could.

Joel lets out a mix between a growl and a moan and you feel his cock harden before it jerks inside of you, hot ropes of his cum filling you like you asked. He moans your name, stilling your hips in his hands as his orgasm washes over him. “God, you feel so good.”

The two of you gasp for breath, your head falls back and you close your eyes, trying to slow your heart beat. Joel removes the nipple clamps and you cry out just as he places light kisses along them. “Ouch,” you whimper.

“I know,” he says, moving to kiss the other one. “Taking them off is the worst part. I’m sorry, sweet girl.”

When he pulls back to look at you again your body goes limp and you fall into his chest, head tucked into the crook of his neck. “Need a minute,” you murmur.

He pulls the blanket from the other side of the bed and wraps it around the two of you. “Good, because I’m not ready to let you go yet.” His lips caress your hairline softly, one hand on your back under the blanket, the other playing with your hair.

I love you.

After a few moments of blissfully content silence you wince at the pinch in your hip. “I gotta get up, I’m sorry.”

He laughs gently into your hair, and pulls back the blanket before helping you slide off his softened cock. You both look at the mess you’ve made on his lap and you let out a mischievous giggle.

“Don’t even think about it, Freckles. I need nourishment before you take advantage of me again.” He says jokingly.

“Well, I guess this is what I get for fucking around with an old man,” you laugh, flopping down on the bed beside him.

Joel moves quickly, slipping two thick fingers inside of you easily and you squirm at the feeling. You suck in a huge breath, like you’re about to swim to the bottom of a deep pool. Tears start to burn behind your eyes as overstimulation makes it almost impossible to breathe, nevermind being able to tell him to stop.

His voice is a gravel filled growl, “That right, little girl? Because from what I can tell, you’re about to beg me to stop, so be careful who you call old.”

Heat flushes your skin, pleasure building, yet when your tired pussy flutters around his strong digits a loud, pained cry fills the room. You’re not willing to admit defeat as you force your lungs to suck in a breath.

“I’m not.”

“No?” He pumps his fingers harder against your sensitive g-spot. “Don’t wanna use that safe word?”

Can’t. Fuck, I might actually die if I come again again. You never imagined yourself debating if you wanted another orgasm. A cold sweat coats your lower back as you arch off the bed, a sob leaving your throat.

“How’s that feel? Wanna come again?”

You shake your head and moan in disagreement.

“You sure? She wants to, I can feel it.” He pumps his fingers forward again.

“M-mister Miller. No.” As you swallow down the scream that’s inching its way up from your lungs he watches your throat like a starved wolf.

“Safeword,” he commands.

“Steg-“ you don’t even say the full word and he’s slipping his fingers out of you with a lewd squelching sound. “Thank you.”

“Are you okay?” He says softly, his dom mask gone as his eyebrows knit in concern.

“Yes,” you say with a quiet laugh. “I was close to coming again, but….”

He gives you a thigh lipped smile, “Sore?”

You nod as he continues, “Food, then shower, then we can come back here,” he says deeply before he slips his two fingers in his mouth, cleaning off the mixture of the two of you.

I fucking love you, Joel Miller.

Joel

The small crack of light in the curtains wakes him. His alarm clock shows 7:18 am; he can’t remember the last time he slept past six am, but he also can’t remember the last time he stayed up until two in the morning. He rolls slowly, careful not to disturb you in the cocoon of blankets you’ve created in the night. The top of your head and one foot is the only thing visible, your slow, quiet breathing filling the room.

So fucking cute.

He pulls on a pair of black pajama pants and adjusts the curtains to keep the room dark before slipping downstairs. The morning sun reflects off the gold in the marble, basking his kitchen in warm fire light. His eyes glance around the kitchen, a dirty frying pan sits in the sink from the grilled cheese sandwiches he made you both last night, the kitchen stool still pulled out from where you sat. A smile pulls at his cheeks, his cock stirring as he remembers the rest of the evening.

The two of you ate your sandwiches; all you had on was one of his t-shirts, and he was wearing the pants he’s in now. After you both finished eating, he grunted as he came over to help you off the stool. You made another joke about him being old. Slipping in and out of dom mode is almost too easy around you. Without missing a beat, he made you clean the cum that had leaked out of you off the stool with your tongue, then spanked you until more cum dripped down your legs and onto the floor. He didn’t even have to tell you what to do, all he did was glance at the floor then at you with a raised brow. His sweet girl got down on her hands and knees and cleaned up. He praised you the entire time and then took you upstairs to shower; not that it did much good, because he fucked you from behind the moment the two of you got back into his bed. Joel hasn’t fucked someone back-to-back like that in years, but you have him feeling like he’s in his twenties again.

He pulls the jar of imported coffee beans from the cupboard and grinds them, reflecting upon how easy it was to just sit with you. As you ate, you both laughed and joked about whatever came to mind. He made fun of you for asking for ketchup to dip your sandwich in, then you poked fun back by eating the sandwich with one pinky up once you realized it wasn’t just processed bread and cheese.

As he tamps the freshly ground beans into the basket he realizes just how lonely he has been. He’s always been surrounded by people and enjoyed coming home to his quiet solitude of a house, but now? He smiles sadly to himself. This is really going to hurt.

He places the basket in the machine and as it brews he gets your beans in the grinder and then grabs the milk to steam and froth. He adds the milk to his cup and then starts on yours just as he hears a very soft ‘Good Morning’ from behind him.

He looks over his shoulder as you wrap your arms around his middle, placing a kiss on his bare spine. It shoots right to his heart and he holds it there, desperate to keep this love he’s feeling, love he knows is on a timeline.

“Good morning, sweet girl. Coffee?”

“Mmm, yes please.”

He rubs at your arms around his stomach. “How does bacon and eggs sound?”

The soft warmth of your cheek rests on his back as he steams your milk, your espresso almost done. “You actually use the kitchen?”

“Used it last night, didn’t I?”

“Yea,” you reply, “but I’ve never seen you have actual food in your fridge. Cleaning it is always on your list, but aside from milk there’s never been anything in it.”

“That’s not entirely true,” he says.

“You’re right, once there was just a single long stemmed red rose.” The rose he got you for your birthday.

“So you’re saying you don’t want surprise long stemmed roses?”

You gasp dramatically behind him and then wiggle under his arm. He laughs, adjusting his grip on the milk and coffee cup to pour the milk just right, creating a heart on the top of your latte and then holding it in front of you. He watches the little smile that curves your lips. “Thank you, Joel.”

He kisses your forehead before you both part. His eyes trail from your face, down your body that’s draped in one of his black t-shirts brushing the top of your bare thighs. “Breakfast?”

You nod, wrapping both your hands around your coffee cup and inhaling. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. Get that cute little ass on one of those stools,” he spins you and pats at your butt gently, a giggle escaping your throat as you wander around the island to sit.

Joel gathers what he needs for breakfast, and after a few heartbeats you break the silence. “Can I ask you a question?”

He glances over at you, “We’ve been through this. You don’t need to ask permission, just ask.”

“Well, it’s about the hat.”

“Ah,” he says softly, starting one of the gas burners to heat the cast iron pan for the bacon. “You can ask anything you’d like, baby.”

“I just wasn’t expecting that sort of reaction.”

“That’s not a question,” he says jokingly.

You let out an amused sound that’s part giggle, part snort. “What’s the history behind the black cowboy hat?”

He clears his throat, moving around the kitchen the entire time he speaks. “I grew up on a small ranch outside of Austin. My grandparents’ ranch. Me and Tommy lived there with our mom. My grandma gave us both our first cowboy hats; mine was a black Stetson with a black satin liner. I wore that hat all the time. It brought me comfort for whatever reason, or maybe it was confidence in those awkward adolescent years. Whatever it was, it sort of became a part of who I was as a teenager. One night, in my senior year, after winning our baseball state championship I went to a party, with my hat on, of course…that’s, umm, that’s where I met her.”

He watches you take a sip of your coffee, eyes soft. “Tiffany, my…my wife. That’s where I met her. My grandpa always said that I’d feel a tug, like a pull behind my belly button, and it did. When I went to talk to her she took my hat and put it on her head and…I just knew. That hat, well, I wore it for her from then on.”

“Where’s the hat now?” You say, looking shyly up at him.

He turns back the stove, swallowing the dry lump in his throat and flips the bacon before cracking the eggs in the second pan. His voice is low. “When she passed away it just felt right to send the hat with her. I couldn’t let her go alone.”

The eggs sizzle as he flips them. “How old were you when that happened?”

“Young,” he says, then looks back over at you. “About twenty three or twenty four.”

He scoops two eggs and a few pieces of bacon on each plate and then walks around to the stool beside you. “I’m sorry that happened, Joel.”

He places a light kiss on your forehead, sliding the plate in front of you. “Me too, baby. Thank you.”

Joel sits on the stool next to yours but that still isn’t close enough for him. He grabs the leg of your stool and pulls you tight to his side. The moment your shoulder makes contact with his arm he feels more at ease. Talking about Tiffany isn’t so painful anymore.

“So it’s just been you and your daughter since then? You didn’t want to remarry?” He watched the way your lips purse to blow on your fork full of eggs before he answers.

“I wasn’t opposed to remarrying. Sarah used to try to set me up with her friends' moms when she was kid. But, I never felt that pull like I did with Tiff. I focused all of my time on Sarah and building my construction firm.“

It feels almost too comfortable to talk to you as he continues between bites. “I just kept waiting for that pull again. Then my career took off; I went from building homes to mansions, and then eventually apartment complexes. I didn’t have time to even look for a partner.”

“Is that when you got into BDSM?” You ask, nibbling on your bacon.

“Ya, I met Cap…”

“Cap?” You interrupt, looking at him with wide eyes. “Like the sweet man with the grey hair and kind blue eyes who drives me around?”

“Yes, same Cap. He taught me almost everything about being a Dom.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “He’s so soft and kind.”

“Am I not soft and kind?” He says, placing a hand on his chest. You press a kiss to his cheek and he raises an eyebrow at you. “As I was saying, I met Cap through one of the trades we hired to run cable through a large apartment building. Spent a lot of hours with him and he eventually brought up how being a dom might be a good option for me and wouldn’t risk Sarah getting hurt through a break up.”

“Sarah is older than me, isn’t she?” You put your fork down and look up at him with concern.

He nods, “She is. Not by much, but she is. However, I recently learned that I was the campus DILF while she was in university.”

You snort a laugh beside him.

“She just wants me to be happy. I don’t know what I did right with that kid. She’s a doctor and just got accepted to a surgery fellowship in New York.”

As he finishes his last few bites, your soft, warm palm traces up and down his bare back slowly. “I’m sure you were, or are, an amazing dad.”

He smiles over at you as reality slams into him. You’re younger than his daughter. You’re going to want things that he’s already done and is too old to do again. And quite frankly, he doesn’t want to do it again. Biologically he cannot have any more kids, and he’s not looking to adopt. He’s done that part of his life.

One of his hands wraps around the back of your neck and his mind races as he lowers his face to yours. He’s sure you’re going to go to Berkeley, which will break his heart, but also means he can keep that pesky little secret he’s been keeping from you hidden. You finding out about that will ruin him.

You

Something shifts in Joel’s eyes before he kisses you, his tongue swiping against your lips, asking to let him in. You tilt your head, deepening the kiss, as the urge to show him just how much you need him takes over. You spin your body towards him, kissing him back at the pace he’s set. You could sit like this for hours, your lips fused to his, his tongue flicking sweetly against yours. Your hands roam along the muscle-lined skin of his arms, pressing your lips happily to his without any plans to break the kiss first.

After a few minutes, Joel pulls back, cupping your chin, his thumb caressing your bottom lip. “Speaking of university,” he prompts.

You take a slow deep breath in through your nose, trying to keep your face a neutral mask as all of your thoughts around school and Joel scream in your mind. He squeezes your hand reassuringly, “Come with me.”

As he leads you towards the stairs to the basement you say, “We should clean up.”

“Nah,” he starts leading you down the stairs, his voice light, “I have a cleaner coming this week.”

You jokingly hit his shoulder with a laugh as he walks down the stairs in front of you. The two of you settle into the plush couch. You cozy up into the corner of the sectional, him beside you. He pulls your feet onto his lap and then flips a blanket from the back of the couch over you.

“It’s gonna be Berkeley, right?” Joel’s voice is excited and curious, not disappointed. For a second you think he might not care in the way you think he does, until your eyes meet his. His eyes tell a whole damn story right now, more honey flecks than onyx shine your direction. They seem sad almost, or longing.

“Maybe. That was sort of my dream school but I don’t know anymore.”

His thumbs press into the arches of your feet and after wearing those ridiculous heels last night it feels delicious. “Your phone screen, which, by the way, I’m getting you a new phone. That screen is a hazard, and don’t bother arguing with me. But your Lock Screen is the beach.”

“I know,” you look down at your hands, picking at the pearly white polish.

“I want you to follow your dreams, sweet girl.”

“But that’s the thing, Joel. Becoming a lawyer is the dream. Either way, I will graduate as a lawyer, so…” The words die on your tongue and hang heavy between the two of you.

“Don’t pick based on me.” He says softly.

You scoff, immediately annoyed by his ego. Is that really what he thinks of you? That some man would come along and change everything you had planned. Didn’t he though?

You pull your feet from his lap, bending your knees up as if you’re building a wall between the two of you. “I’m not. I’m a grown woman who can, and does, make decisions for herself.”

“So then what’s the reason for giving up what was always your dream school for a law school here?”

You feel sick to your stomach. His singing last night, that wasn’t a proclamation of love to you. He was just singing a song that he knows and you almost changed your entire life’s trajectory for him.

No, you remind yourself, these are valid points. Joel or not, it makes sense to stay.

It doesn’t matter how you justify it to yourself in your mind, the annoyance that anyone would think you’d make a decision this huge for anyone but yourself doesn’t ease. You didn’t even consider your parents when you left for university, so why would he think you’d consider him when you’ve only known him a few weeks?

You try to keep the edge of frustration out of your voice as you respond. “It’s cheaper, for one. I also have a job that I could do once or twice a week if I stay here. I have a chosen family of friends who support and love me. There’s lots of reasons. And at the end of it all, I come out with a law degree.”

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, his fingers toying with the hem of the blanket. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to defend yourself or your decisions.”

“You assumed I’d choose my future based on you.” You say, and it comes out a lot angrier than you intend. You rush an apology, “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” his voice stays soft as he moves to rub the top of your foot under the blanket. You let him pull it back onto his lap, shortly followed by the other foot. “You’re making a big decision and I could see you working through your thoughts in the car last night. I just don’t want you to think you have to figure this out on your own. I’m here for you. I’m sorry, sweet girl. I was trying to let you know I’m here. I should have worded that differently to begin with.”

“Sorry,” you murmur, looking back down at your hands. You feel about two feet tall all of a sudden.

“Hey,” he squeezes at your calves and you look back up at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. C’mere.”

You slide across the couch and he pulls you close, draping your legs over his and wrapping you in his arms. “I know Berkeley is more expensive, but you’d have more opportunities there, wouldn’t you?”

You shrug and lean into his touch. “Maybe, but I’d finish top of the class here, I don’t know where I’ll fit there. Plus, my friends. It’s weird, I’ve never been scared to leave somewhere before; not even when I was freshly eighteen and left my parents, but now I am.”

His strong hands rub along skin, desire beginning to flicker at your core. It’s only further ignited when he speaks again.

“Those are all very valid reasons and fears, sweet girl. We all feel that way about big change. Your friends will always be there for you, regardless of what state you decide to go to school in. I’ve only known you for a short time, and I can see how much this means to you. They’ve known you a lot longer, I can only imagine how proud of you they must be. You’re an amazing person and an incredibly hard worker. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

“I’ll be in debt forever,�� you say with a sigh, leaning back so you can see his face.

“You don’t have to be…”

“No, I’ll accept the phone, albeit begrudgingly, but I will not accept that.”

“We’ll see about that,” he says with a wink and a laugh as you roll your eyes.

Joel

The rest of the morning was spent laughing and talking. He asked about your first kiss, your favourite song, what you were most proud of so far. He filed away every single answer.

As the two of you cleaned up from breakfast he said, “So you never saw yourself having kids?”

“No. I saw myself fighting for others. I think based on my past that I’d be a great mother, just do the opposite of what my parents did, but that never interested me.”

His fears from earlier started to ease knowing that you didn’t want kids, and your views on marriage were so mature compared to what he usually heard.

He oiled the cast iron as you spoke. “I just need a partner. Someone who is on my side. I’ve been alone almost my entire life, and I can be happy alone. It’s not the company I need - it’s the support. Someone who can shut the world off. You know?”

He knew the moment he saw you that he could turn you into the perfect little submissive, his perfect submissive.

“Sounds like you need a partner who knows how to be a Dom,” he says with a wink, eyes roaming over your body in just that thin black t-shirt he gave you. He sees the switch in your eyes, desire blows your pupils wide, darkening your usually sparkling orbs. “Does my sweet girl need something?”

He watches your thighs squeeze together as you stand beside him. You hum a yes and nod your head.

“Are you sore?”

“Yes, Mister Miller. But I still need it.”

He leans in closely, tracking the shiver that runs up your body as his lips ghost along the shell of your ear. In a deep whispered command he says, “Give me that shirt, and then go wait upstairs for me.”

He pulls back and watches as your arms cross in front of your body and grab the hem of the soft cotton shirt. Time slows as you reveal your naked body to him, his heart catching in his throat along with his breath. So utterly perfect.

“Good girl,” he hums, extending his hand for the shirt. “Upstairs, on your hands and knees at the foot of the bed.”

He watches you the entire way up the stairs. You only glance over your shoulder once, and he knows the wink he sends you is the reassurance you need. Granted, the little smile and the slight skip in your step afterwards were a dead giveaway that you’re excited for whatever he has planned.

He waits in the kitchen, forcing himself to keep his eye on the digital clock of the microwave. Three minutes, he tells himself. His dick has other plans, throbbing behind his loose, low hanging pajama pants. Wait three minutes, you weak and pathetic little man.

He palms himself through the fabric to relieve some of the ache, picturing your ass up in the air on the end of his bed. When the three minutes pass, he practically sprints up the stairs until he reaches his bedroom. He takes a breath to compose himself before stepping over the threshold. Looking to his left, you’re exactly how he wanted you. Knees on the edge of the bed, hands planted on the mattress, eyes glued to the fluffy sheets below you.

“Remind me, sweet girl,” he fights the smile as you startle at his voice, wide eyes looking over your shoulder. He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms. “Did you mark off that you’re interested in exploring aspects of anal sex?”

“Yes, Mister Miller.” You say shyly.

“Here’s what we are going to do,” he starts to walk towards you, eyes roaming along every inch of you. “Look at the mattress, please.”

He smiles as you obey, always his good girl.

“You’re going to stay very still. I am going to tease your beautiful pussy and ass with my tongue and fingers.” He stops right behind you, running his fingertips along the back of your thighs. “I’m going to go slow. I want you to close your eyes and just breathe. Focus on my tongue. Can you do that?”

“Yes, Mister Miller.”

“Good girl. Before we start, grab a pillow and put your chest on the bed. I need you to arch your back for me.” He slips his pajama pants off as you crawl forward to grab the pillow and licks his lips as your ass scoots back down the bed before you get into his desired position.

“So beautiful,” he coos, kneeling on the small bench at the foot of his bed. “I’m going to start by drawing long lines of my tongue from here,” his finger lightly presses on your clit, he collects your arousal as he runs it up the soft folds of your cunt, stopping when he reaches your asshole, “To here”.

“I’m going to do that a few times, and then start applying more and more pressure. Once you start to shake, and you will start, sweet girl, so please, don’t hold back. But once you start to shake, I’m going to swirl my thumb along that tight little ring of muscle while I eat your pussy.”

You let out a moan, he hasn’t even touched you yet and he can see you growing wetter. “Think you like the idea of that. Already so wet for me.”

“What else?” You ask with a moan.

“I’m going to tease your ass with my tongue and fingers until you let me in. And then fuck you with my fingers, all while continuing to suck on your clit until you come for me. Do I have your consent?”

He can hear the smile on your face as you say, “Yes, Mister Miller.”

“No, no, baby. I want you to say ‘Yes, Mister Miller, you have my consent to play with my ass’.”

He sees your cheeks flush crimson, he brings his hands to your waist, holding you firmly as his cock rubs against your thighs. “Y-yes, Mister Miller. You have my consent….”

“You can say it, sweet girl. Come on.”

“To….”

He leans over you, placing a kiss on your shoulder. “Good girl, keep going.”

“To play with my ass.”

He sinks his teeth into the meat of one of your cheeks and then runs his tongue over the sharp pain before he does exactly as he said he was going to.

You

Your whimpers of pleasure fill the room as two of Joel’s thick fingers slide easily into your ass. You have no concept of how long he’s been teasing you. Since he took the lube out, you’ve been nothing but a vibrating ball of pleasure. His tongue flicks your clit with perfect precision, his fingers stretching and caressing you at the same time.

“I wanna come, Mister Miller,” you whine.

He pulls his face away from your centre. “That right?”

“Please. It feels so good.”

“You know you don’t have to ask, sweet girl. You can come as many times as you want.”

“Need more,” you manage to gasp as he curls his fingers slightly inside of you.

“What do you need?”

“Fuck me - fuck me while you do that with your fingers.”

“‘Manners!” He growls.

“Please, Mister Miller,” you half whine, half cry. “I need to come. Please.”

He slips his fingers from you and you whimper in protest. “I know, sweet girl.”

He urges you to move forward and then you feel the mattress dip as he kneels behind you. The click of the cap of the lube sounds behind you, the cool liquid hitting your ass. The warm tip of his cock slides from your ass to clit, back and forth, spreading your slick along with the lube. You push back into the soft top of his cock every time it teases your ass.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you?”

“It’s been hours, please, Mister Miller.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, baby,” he says, focusing his attention on that tight ring of muscle that you’ve never explored before. “It hasn’t even been an hour.“

You push back again, feeling intense pressure. You hiss as the sensation but don’t pull away. “Easy, sweet girl. I don’t want to hurt you.”

The slippery tip of his cock slides towards your entrance. He pauses, and then as he finally pushes inside of you, his thumb enters you at the same time. You cry out, “Oh my god.”

The usual pinch of the stretch of him filling you isn’t there this time. You don’t need to adjust to his size, you just need him to fuck you.

“Harder, Mister Miller.”

He obliges, keeping his thumb firmly inside of you as he slides his hips back and thrusts forward. He repeats this motion, setting a quick pace, his hips slamming against your ass over and over. You bury your face into the pillow and scream; deja vu washes over you. The darkness, the way his cock kisses your g-spot, the heat of his body behind you. This is the recurring dream you used to have about Joel, and it’s so much better in real life.

“Play with your pretty clit, sweet girl. Wanna feel you.”

You bring your hand to your clit. You’re so wet that your fingers easily slip along your most sensitive part. You rub fast, tight circles, moaning and somehow arching your back even further. “Atta girl. Make yourself come for me.”

Your orgasm slams through you and you scream his preferred dom name into the pillow. Your entire body is vibrating, your pussy clenches hard around his cock. You feel him growing harder before he’s calling your name along with praise and then spills inside of you.

His forehead meets your back, the sweat of his forehead mixing with your own as you both try to catch your breath. Your heart races. I love you.

Joel

When his alarm goes off Monday morning, it’s the first time in a long time that he’s not looking forward to work. He spent the better part of his weekend with you. The rest of your Saturday was spent in a bubble bath before ordering take out and watching movies. He reluctantly dropped you off at home on Sunday morning in a pair of his sweatpants, a hoodie and wool socks. Even while carrying your dress and heels and doing a proverbial walk of shame, you were undeniably gorgeous.

Now, he sits in his office, the heat of the afternoon spring sun causing the air conditioner to whirl. In the past few weeks, his feelings towards being in a relationship has mirrored the weather. When he met you in February, he was cold and isolated towards the idea, but now just weeks later as March turns to April, he’s warm and soft towards it, opening up to someone when he didn’t think he ever would. He opens a brown folder, a proposal for a new building that JMConstriction is going to take on. Tommy has already done the real work; at this point, Joel is just the figurehead for the construction side. He grabs his pen, looping a J and an M neatly.

He places his glass on the table and pinches the bridge of his nose. He knows he should have read that before signing, if only he could focus on the words. Somehow the letters on the page transformed into you. Smiling as the movie played, laughing as the two of you tried to toss popcorn across the couch and into the other person's mouth.

He’s all in, for as long as you’ll let him. He woke up Sunday morning to his cock in your mouth. You whispered asking if it was ok and after his hum of approval he watched your lips slide up and down his shaft. Simply put, he is mesmerized by you. He stopped you before he came, pulling you onto your side, your back against his front and slipped inside of you. He made you come three times before he let himself fall over the edge.

As he held you, you confirmed that you were staying here for law school.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes. For lots of reasons. But yes, I’m happy. I don’t think I’ve ever been happy. I’m staying here.”

Guilt and excitement swirled in his stomach at your decision. He has to tell you what he did. He should tell you regardless of your decision, but it’s going to be so much harder now. He picks up his phone and texts you.

Joel: Hi, sweet girl. Before we celebrate at the club on Tuesday, can I take you out for dinner?

You: I would love that, Mister Miller. But this super rich man has me scheduled to clean his house from 12-4, so what time are you thinking?

Joel: Get ready at my place, Freckles. We’ll have a drink and then go for dinner, then I’m going to teach you all about the St. Andrew’s Cross.

He wants you to stay. More than wants, he needs you to stay. The thought of you leaving now makes him feel like his lungs are in a vice grip. Wrong, Joel. That vice grip is actually that thing you did. You know this is going to hurt her, he scolds himself loudly. The imaginary iron fist squeezes tighter and he fights to suck in a full breath.

He has to tell you. He will tell you. At dinner tomorrow night, he will explain everything from the beginning. You can’t find out any other way or you’ll likely never forgive him. His heart starts to deflate at the thought of not being able to wake up beside you again; seeing you in a cocoon of down-filled sheets, just the top of your head and one foot giving away your identity.

He stands from his desk and walks towards his office door, clicking the lock and resting his forehead against the wood. He closes his eyes, resting one hand on his chest. I can’t lose her.

679 notes · View notes

jillianallen14 · 2 years ago

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Dear Baby Bats - Goth Band Recommendations

As a middle sibling goth (I’ve been in the subculture for 10 years now, so not a baby bat but not an elder goth either), let me turn you on to some bands because we do not gatekeep in this house!! Also, if you want consistently good lesser-known & brand new goth band recs, go follow Awfully Sinister on TikTok and Instagram. He’s a DJ & has great recs. I've found so much music through him because it's really hard to keep up with all the new bands cropping up every year. You want to avoid the goth subreddit because they are extremely gatekeeper-y and argue over labels constantly. It’ll just confuse you, and they are not nice over there.

If you’re very new to the subculture, and you haven’t yet listened to all of Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, Sisters of Mercy, Christian Death, Cocteau Twins, Clan of Xymox, Joy Division, and Depeche Mode, go do so now. You'll want to know which of them you really enjoy the most because it will help you know which sub-subgenre(s) of goth you want to watch out for, and it'll tell you what to look for to find it. For example, Sisters of Mercy is the gothic rock subgenre, Christian Death is deathrock, Cocteau Twins is ethereal wave, Clan of Xymox is like the original darkwave, Joy Division is classic post-punk, etc. I haven’t included industrial, despite its proximity to the goth subculture, just because I actually don’t really know that many industrial bands beyond Skippy Puppy, Ministry, and Throbbing Gristle. Some other goth/goth-adjacent staple bands (that are very popular and very influential) that you should listen to if you haven’t already are The Damned, Killing Joke, The Cult, and Adam and the Ants/Adam Ant). I didn't know where to put She Wants Revenge or London After Midnight either, but they're also great.

I’ve bolded some of my absolute must-listen to goth bands, and I've put monthly Spotify listeners for each band so you know which ones deserve WAY more love. And in my pre-list ramblings for each OG band, I've given you some key terms to look up so you can more easily find music that's similar to what you enjoy. Okay, here we go:

If you like Bauhaus:

Bauhaus is a hard one because honestly, nobody really sounds like them, and they aren't really that closely associated with a specific sub-subgenre of goth. They were post-punk, they were art rock, they were experimental, they were sometimes very punk and at other times very gothic rock. They liked to call themselves “dark glam rock” (all four members are massive Bowie, T-Rex, and Iggy Pop fans), but you’re gonna have a hard time finding bands that sound like them if you look that term up. They probably have one of the most unique sounds of all-time. They’re my favorite band (I even have a tattoo for them, like I am devoted lol), but even I have a difficult time finding other bands that scratch their particular itch for me. These bands I’ve listed are as close as you’re gonna get to Bauhaus’ general vibe imo.

Virgin Prunes (80’s band that is technically deathrock but has the same absolutely unhinged, danceable sound that Bauhaus has, so they’re going here; one of my favorites; no one else does it like them and no one else ever will; I would actually give my left foot to see them live); 13.2k monthly listeners (this is actually physically painful to me, how is it this low!!! don't walk, RUN to go listen to them)

Alien Sex Fiend (80’s classic unhinged goth); 77k monthly listeners

Sextile (modern band that has some very Bauhaus-sounding guitar work at times but with heavy industrial influences); 147k listeners

The Danse Society (80’s unhinged goth; has similar experimental vibes to Bauhaus imo; one of my fave goth groups); 36k listeners

Sex Beat (80’s); not even really on Spotify

Ritual Howls (modern band; I don’t know why it gives Bauhaus, but it does; one of the few modern bands that scratches that particular itch for me); 45k listeners

The Agnes Circle (modern band; one of my favorites; they have the right Bauhaus-like atmosphere for me); 52k listeners

Traitrs (I can’t explain why they remind me of Bauhaus, but they do; another one of my fave modern bands; they make me want to start levitating and doing the Ian Curtis dance in the same way Bauhaus does lol); 239k listeners

Paralisis Permanente (underrated 80’s; they have a lot in common with Bauhaus’s sound actually, def give them a try!); 54k monthly listeners

The Birthday Party (80s band, totally unhinged; they’re less dark and atmospheric than Bauhaus, but if you take one listen to their album Junkyard, you’ll know exactly why I put them under this category haha; Nick Cave is the vocalist, which is amazing); 54k listeners

Tones on Tail (80s; Daniel Ash & Kevin Haskins of Bauhaus formed this group; I’d put Love and Rockets as well, which is all of Bauhaus’s members except Peter Murphy, but Love and Rockets weirdly bears little resemblance to Bauhaus’s music; but if you just generally want more of Bauhaus members' work, Love and Rockets is great, too); 81k listeners

Dalis Car (80s; collaboration between Peter Murphy and Japan's bassist; their music is extremely weird, so only listen if you really love the batshit insane Bauhaus songs or if you really live and breathe Peter Murphy like I do lol; their description on Spotify is so fucking funny); 7k listeners

I'd also recommend listening to Daniel Ash, David J, and Peter Murphy's solo work. They're all great!! Peter also did some amazing collaborations with Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails); the version of Reptile that they did together is better than Nine Inch Nail's original version imo, and you can find that entire session on Youtube!

If you like Siouxsie and the Banshees:

Siouxsie is another one that's hard to pin down sound-wise because again, they don't really fit into one specific sub-subgenre, so all of these recs are just goth bands with female vocalists who have the same kind of powerful vocals that Siouxsie does.

Second Still (modern band, one of my faves; singer sounds a lot like Siouxsie to me at times); 69k listeners

Skeletal Family (80’s band; has the same “women in punk” vibes that Siouxsie has); 55k listeners

Xmal Deutschland (80’s band; has the same powerful vocals that Siouxsie has; makes you wanna go stupid go crazy the way the Banshees do); 73k listeners

Secret Shame (modern band w/ woman singer; has the same rage that Siouxsie songs have to me, especially early Siouxsie); 6k listeners (let's get those numbers up, folks!!!)

Rosegarden Funeral Party (modern band w/ a woman vocalist); 57k listeners

Mephisto Walz (90s & 2000s; sounds so much like the Banshees at times); 56k listeners

The Creatures (80s; a Siouxsie Sioux & Budgie side project); 34k listeners

Madhouse (listen to Repulsion! 80s group that’s technically deathrock, but I put them under this category because the singer has Siouxsie-like qualities); not really on Spotify

Strange Boutique (90s; vocalist is Monica Richards of Faith and the Muse & Madhouse; this is probably my favorite project of hers); 112k listeners

If you like Depeche Mode:

For Depeche Mode enjoyers (which DM is kind of on the fringes of what’s considered “goth,” but they’re so entrenched in the subculture that I included them anyway), you’re gonna want to delve into goth playlists and modern goth that leans towards synthpop/synthwave. So those are the kinds of playlists you’ll want to search up for similar sounds to DM.

Nuovo Testamento (modern band; combines post-punk and pop elements in a way that’s very similar to Depeche Mode; lots of fun live, and they have a good sound); 25k listeners

Boy Harsher (modern band; relies heavily on synth; feels like it should be playing at every goth club); 558k listeners

ULTRA SUNN (modern band; singer sounds like Dave Gahan); 217k listeners (they just blew up on tiktok recently, which explains why this just skyrocketed since the last time I was on their Spotify page lol; good for them, good for them, they deserve it)

Ministry's first album (called With Sympathy), which was synthwave/synthpop before they went industrial (this is one of my all-time favorite albums)

French Police (modern band); 252k listeners

Closed Tear (modern band); 152k listeners

Night Sins (modern band); 33k listeners

Panic Priest (modern band; vocals sound decently similar to Dave Gahan & there is a lot of reliance on synth; In All Severity is a gorgeous song); 5k listeners

Fad Gadget (underrated 80’s; I just feel like if you like DM, you’re also gonna like Fad Gadget); 58k listeners

Martin Dupont (underrated 80s cold wave/synth pop; Inside Out is one of my favorite 80s songs); 26k listeners

If you like The Cure:

You'll be hard-pressed to find a goth band that wasn't influenced by The Cure, so I really can't give you any key terms for what to look up lol. They also changed their sound so frequently that it entirely depends on what era of The Cure's music you're looking to find similar music for.

Vision Video (modern band; combines post-punk and pop elements like The Cure does; one of my fave modern goth bands; they are INCREDIBLE live); 52k listeners (I'm gonna need y'all to get a song or two of theirs to blow up on tiktok expeditiously lol)

Urban Heat (modern band; great live); 36k listeners

The Chameleons (80’s band; very underrated; they are also very good live); 167k listeners

House of Harm (modern band, very new; also very good live; has pop elements); 44k listeners

Deceits (modern band, another very new one); 28k listeners (it's crazy how much this number has grown the past two months because it was in the single thousands not that long ago; everyone say thank you, tiktok)

Drab Majesty (modern band; their instrumentals remind me of The Cure); 172k listeners

Double Echo (modern band, one of my faves; their instrumentals also remind me of The Cure); 15k listeners (let's get these numbers up!!!)

The Bolshoi (underrated 80’s band that combines new wave and goth elements in a similar way to The Cure); 114k listeners

The Essence (underrated 80s band that sounds so much like The Cure it’s actually insane, but they’ve got their own sound too; they’re like a perfect blend of all of The Cure’s different sounds); 25k monthly listeners

The Glove (80s; a Robert Smith side project with Steven Severin from Siouxsie and the Banshees); 25k listeners

Crimson Ivy (80s band; singer sounds so a lot like a more yelly version of Robert Smith sometimes); not on Spotify

Miss Teen America (brand new band from NYC! They only have one single out right now, and it’s well worth listening to); 940 monthly listeners (y’all know what to do!!! Let’s get those numbers up, up, up!) link to their single: https://open.spotify.com/album/4nvdZeUVLLrMv3tEziCqm7?si=2WVS7-eYQLGR7Id3wLiKhg

If you like Clan of Xymox:

Most of these bands will be modern ones because Clan of Xymox was honestly way ahead of their time. (They are also amazing live, so go see them before they eventually call it quits!) For playlists that are full of their vibe, you’re gonna want to look up “darkwave” playlists. Clan of Xymox pioneered darkwave, so any darkwave band you listen to is gonna be influenced by their sound in some way or another.

Harsh Symmetry (modern, very new; very heavily relies on synth); 29k listeners

Ssleeping Desiress (modern band; instrumentals similar to Xymox); 55k listeners

Twin Tribes (probably my favorite modern goth band; they are fucking incredible and so good live!); 276k listeners

ACTORS (modern band; heavily relies on synth); 86k listeners

Mareux (modern; heavily relies on synth); 4.8 million listeners (this is wild!!!! everyone say thank you, tiktok)

Sixth June (modern); 23k listeners

Plastique Noir (modern); 40k listeners

Rendez Vous (modern); 160k listeners

Minuit Machine (modern); 97k listeners

The Frozen Autumn (90s & 2000s); 31k listeners

If you like Christian Death:

All of these recs will be deathrock recs or goth bands that heavily leaned on punk sounds. So if CD is the OG goth band you’re most fond of, you’re gonna want to delve into deathrock playlists for similar sounds.

Asylum Party (80’s band); not on spotify

45 Grave (80’s band); 47k listeners

Voodoo Church (80’s band; probably my favorite out of this bunch; I actually like them more than Christian Death); 7k listeners (let's get these numbers up immediately!!!!)

Ausgang (80’s band); 2k listeners (WHAT; they deserve so much more, damn)

Corpus Delicti (90’s band; they are very good; they sound the least like Christian Death on this list imo); 26k listeners

13th Chime (80’s band; very underrated); 6k listeners

UK Decay (you know, I actually don’t know what era they’re from; unhinged sound); 1k listeners (omg)

Super Heroines (underrated 80’s band; Eva O formed it); 2k listeners (you see what I meant about underrated?)

Specimen (80s band; this one could have just as easily gone under Bauhaus tbh, but the vocals are generally higher pitched than Peter Murphy’s, so I put them under this category); 102k listeners

Sex Gang Children (80’s band; just so unhinged & I love them for it); 27k listeners

Suspiria (90s, I think? I don’t actually know); barely on Spotify but 27k listeners

Theatre of Hate (80s); 7k listeners

Bloody Dead and Sexy (2000s, I think); 44k listeners

Mescaline Babies (2000s); 3k listeners

Acid Bats (2000s; Mexican band with Spanish lyrics); 2k listeners

Altar de Fey (80s band; formed in San Francisco!!); 23k listeners

Twisted Nerve (80s band; classified as “gothic punk,” so I felt this was the best category for them; they’re great; their sound also reminds me of early Siouxsie and the Banshees and Killing Joke); 2.5k listeners

Play Dead (80s); 8k listeners

Limbo (underrated 80s; if you like Bauhaus & Virgin Prunes as well, you’re gonna like this band); 413 listeners

If you like Cocteau Twins:

Cocteau Twins’ early sound is usually categorized as “ethereal wave” goth, so those are the playlists you’ll want to look up if you enjoy their early sound. If you like their later sound, you’re gonna want to lean more towards shoegaze for similar vibes. Admittedly, ethereal wave is one of the goth subgenres that I know the least about, so I’m not gonna be much help here.

Dead Can Dance (80’s band; NO one, and I mean NO ONE, was doing it like Dead Can Dance; so fun to dance to in the goth club); 332k listeners

Lycia (90’s band; their music is very transcendent); 20k listeners

Linea Aspera (modern band; gorgeous woman vocals; honestly, their music is just very beautiful); 67k listeners

This Mortal Coil (formed in the 80s; some songs feature Elizabeth Fraser & Robin Guthrie from Cocteau Twins, but even the ones that don’t still have an ethereal vibe similar to CT; Sixteen Days/Gathering Dust is just like the best song ever); 310k listeners

Autumn's Grey Solace (2000s); 62k listeners

Faith and the Muse; (90s); 22k listeners

This Ascension (90s); 4k listeners

Strawberry Switchblade (80s); 400k listeners

If you like Joy Division:

All of these bands will be ones that sound very classically post-punk, so those are the playlists to search out; emphasis on "classic" because post-punk is a very broad term that gets applied to a lot of music. I would argue that Joy Division has had the most influence out of all the OG goth bands on the current goth sound/goth renaissance we're going through right now, so there are a LOT of bands out there for you if you’re a JD fan.

Molchat Doma (modern band); 2.5 million listeners (wow lol, they've grown so much over the past two years, it's actually insane; good for them)

Soviet Soviet (modern band); 152k listeners

Fearing (modern band; very good live); 30k listeners

Ploho (modern band); 146k listeners

Pink Turns Blue (criminally underrated 80’s band; they are SO good live); 98k listeners (this is an actual travesty, this band is way too good to not even be in the hundred thousands)

The Sound (another incredibly underrated 80’s band); 119k listeners

This Cold Night (modern; has the deep vocals of Joy Division and the driving bass but more stripped back than JD); 150k listeners

Bleib Modern (modern; has very similar vocals to Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, which is a band listed under the Sisters of Mercy section of this post, so if you end up liking this band, you should also listen to Red Lorry Yellow Lorry & vice versa); 36k listeners

Lebanon Hanover (modern; has the existential angst that Joy Division always ignites in me but more stripped back); 936k listeners (this is crazy, holy shit!!!!!! go, Lebanon Hanover, go!!)

She Past Away (modern; deep vocals); 226k listeners

Belgrado (modern; woman vocals!); 18k listeners (they deserve better than this!!)

Leonora Post Punk (modern; Mexican goth band w/ Spanish vocals! They’re amazing! They have those deep vocals you want when you’re looking for a similar sound to Joy Division); 56k listeners

O. Children (modern; has the deep vocals & interesting bass lines that Joy Division was known for; great band); 29k listeners

If you like Sisters of Mercy:

This is one of my least favorite goth subcategories, which is odd because I actually love Sisters. But if you’re looking for a lot of music that sounds like SoM, I’d suggest delving into the 90’s and early 2000’s goth music scene. Search out those playlists. A lot of the 90s and 2000s goth bands were very derivative of Sisters of Mercy.

Rosetta Stone (90’s band); 54k listeners

Miazma (modern); 10k listeners

Red Lorry Yellow Lorry (another criminally underrated 80’s band; one of my fave goth bands); 40k listeners (THEY!! DESERVE!! BETTER!!)

Dreamtime (modern); 65 listeners (ouch lol, please go show them some love)

Fields of the Nephilim (80’s, I think; if you’re a metalhead, you’ll probably appreciate this band); 95k listeners

The Merry Thoughts (80s); 19k listeners

The March Violets (underrated 80s; might be a controversial opinion to put them under SoM, but I’m standing by it); 69k listeners

Horror Vacui (modern; it’s kind of a stretch putting them here tbh, but I couldn’t figure out what other category to put them under); 44k listeners

The Sisterhood (spin-off Sisters of Mercy group that was formed by goth king Andrew Eldritch himself); 3k listeners

The Mission (formed by former Sisters of Mercy members; Wasteland by them was actually one of the first songs to get me into goth music); 180k listeners

Eyes of the Nightmare Jungle (late 80s & 90s; every time a song by them comes on, I’m convinced it’s a Sisters song until the singer starts singing lol); 13k listeners

Ex-Voto (formed in 1982, but most of their albums on Spotify came out in the 2000s; this band is like if Fields of Nephilim had a baby with Clan of Xymox & then sprinkled some industrial techniques in); 6k listeners

Also, if you want a 1500-song, 105-hour goth playlist that’s constantly growing, here you go. The name of it is a dig at my ex lol: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6jCV530pMmOEmDHj4CLNka?si=cEVKiyAwQpaieGiV2pMyqw

#goth music #Bauhaus #the cure #Christian death #Siouxsie and the banshees #goth #post-punk #baby bats #music recs #Joy division #Depeche Mode #clan of Xymox #sisters of mercy #Cocteau twins #Spotify

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cherrygirlfriend · 1 month ago

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DRUNK & SEEING STARS 🌌

⟡ pairing: aaron x bau!reader

⟡ summary: everyone knows that sleeping with your boss is a bad idea, but what’s even worse is drunkenly confronting said boss for avoiding you.

⟡ warnings / tags: angst & comfort, allusions to sexual activities but no smut, MDNI!

⟡ author's notes: first hotch fic let’s gooo!!

if you were sober, maybe you'd have cared about the fact that this was the worst idea in the world, but the buzz from the bottles of wine you had split between three of your co-workers during a weekly girls' night didn't care even though it knew that this could very well lead to you being terminated. you simply stared out of the window at the passing, hazy streetlights in the back of a cab that smelled of booze even more than you did.

it all started a month ago, the events of that night also coincidentally caused by having one too many drinks. what started as casual drinks with your team after a case turned into stumbling into your apartment, your lips pressed against your unit chief's as the two of you couldn't get out of your clothes and into your bed faster.

what started with you falling asleep naked in his arms ended up with you waking up to a cold bed, empty of anything except for a note consisting of two words.

i'm sorry.

and the next time you saw him, hotch acted just like he always did, like the two of you had slept together, to the point that you could almost be convinced it didn't happen, except it was as if his touch had been engraved into your flesh, as if his fingerprints left permanent marks in their wake, as if you could still feel his lips press against your inner thigh, as if you could still feel him inside of you...

when the taxi pulled up in front of hotch's building, you handed the driver the money you owed, before heading inside. the entire elevator ride to his floor, your head kept screaming at you to stop, to turn around, that you were being an idiot. but it was as if your body had a mind of its own, because your feet led you to his door, and your hand balled into a fist and knocked without even realizing what you were doing.

the door was pulled open, and you were faced with a familiar figure; it was one in the morning, but he was still wearing his suit, having ditched the jacket and tie, the top buttons undone. the black-haired man wasn't one to show much emotion, but you could see his eyebrow twitch slightly, making it clear that he was as confused about why you were here as you were.

"agent, what-"

but before aaron could finish his sentence, your legs had moved on their own, had made you press yourself into him as you let out soft sniffles. the man let out a small sigh, wrapping his arms around you as quiet, warm tears began to run down your cheeks. one of his hands went to the back of your head, holding you closer as he stroked your hair.

"come on." he mumbled quietly, leading you over to the couch. aaron sat you down, one of his arms still around you, pulling back slightly to look at your face, one of his calloused hands reaching out to wipe away the tears, "what's going on?" he asked in his gruff voice, trying to say it as gently as possible.

"is there something wrong with me...?" you asked quietly, avoiding looking at his face, into the eyes that you remember gazing into that night. he lifted your head up by your chin.

"there's nothing wrong with you."

"then why did you just leave?" you countered, making aaron let out a sigh, bringing his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose. "it has nothing to do with there being something wrong with you, and everything with you working for me."

you swallow the bitter taste in your throat, "do you regret it...?"

"i... i don't know." aaron said, tugging you close to him as another tear ran down your cheek, but this time the man didn't wipe it away. "it's complicated. i don't regret it, but i don't think it should've happened."

"i don't regret it." you sniffled, wiping the tear away yourself, "and i'm glad it happened. why do you keep acting like it didn't happen?"

"because... if i don't, then i'd have to admit to myself that i wish it happened again."

you don't think you'd ever been as stunned as you were when those words left his lips, your head spinning at his words, "you... you wish it happened again?"

"i wish it could happen again." aaron sighed again, leaning his head back on the sofa cushion, staring up at the ceiling, "but it can't. we both know it can't."

you curl into his chest and closed your eyes, letting out a small hum. you agreed. it should've never happened in the first place. but you couldn't help but want it to happen again, and again. you listened to the steady beat of aaron's heart, your mascara tears surely leaving stains in his button-down, his thumb stroking your back in a soothing motion, pressing a kiss on top of your head. and the last thing you heard before you fell asleep were three little words that would mean nothing to anyone else but everything to you.

"i'm not sorry..."

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creatingblackcharacters · 2 months ago

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My Notes of Concern: Week 1

Yes, these will feel most directed at white folk. That is because y'all participated the most and were easiest to observe. But it's notes on and perspective for everyone 👍🏾

-For some of these characters where their Blackness was genuinely questionable (where we thought "this is a white man but grey", some I let slide to see how people would respond. What it suggested to me is that some of y'all often know what features you will consider "not Black" in your media. Which means you know when these Black characters are being drawn with eurocentric features. So you can SEE when it's happening... So then how often do you willingly let it slide in your media? It makes me wonder if participation in the Ambiguously Brown character design is more of a conscious act than I'd originally believed. Now again, this is likely bias of my userbase, but I did find that worrisome.

-But THEN, there were far more comments made and votes chosen that made me wonder... What do y'all think Black people look like? Because there would be characters that I could immediately see, that people would say were ambiguous. But then characters who were actually ambiguous would get peak. What went into that decision? I know I keep bringing it up, but it genuinely baffled me how Rene was deemed peak, but Iosef started off as mid, when Rene's design only covered half of his face.

-I think what I realized is that people are treating the things we say are offensive as... A checklist, and not really things that are applied in context. Which means we're not really understanding WHY things are offensive, just that we "should know" they are! Peeping and avoiding participating in racism will never be as easy as "these things bad!" It's not. We live day to day like a constant game (the Great American game, ha! Oh Kendrick.) of quick time events. You never know who's gonna say what and how they're gonna react, you only have context clues. If it were as easy as a list, life wouldn't be this hard and breaking this system would be easy 😭 Sorry.

-For example, characters with straightened hair. I felt like the concept of straightened hair is confusing to white voters. I say that because straightened hair is not inherently bad Black character design. We have styles with straight hair! This is just where intent comes into play. Does it look like this character's Blackness was taken into consideration on the style, or did they just plop on the Brazilian bussdown on their head? Did it do that little stupid hook shape on the ends that indicates waves, or did it actually look like "this is a Black character with flat ironed hair, or a wig, or sew in (etc.)"?

-For another example, skin that isn't perfectly brown, maybe even greyish. Okay. That can be an issue! What we then ask ourselves is: is that art style consistent with everything else, or is everyone else well lit and the Black character is not? Is this character grey because the artist clearly doesn't know how to work with deeper brown skin tones, or is it grey on purpose? So when you go forth in the future, remember that it's about the entirety of it. Can you tell from the art that this is purposeful, or a bias? Intent, or not?

-For yet another example: there seemed to be strong push about biracial characters and why their designs seem ambiguous (which is simply not always true), but that same understanding and grace did not seem extended to visibly light-skinned Black people. Why? And I was genuinely confused by this one. Because there are light-skinned Black people! And you can often tell when they're Black! My theory is that y'all found it easier to peep whiteness and therefore defend its features, but did not know how to recognize it in "full" (ick) Blackness. Like, regardless of how The Proud Family's colorism affects its character design, Trudy Proud is visibly just a light-skinned Black woman with flatironed hair. I don't see how that's not visible unless you've just... Never seen one before. 😅

-Just an aside- and this is just a passion of mine- I feel like there is an overrepresentation of what we expect Black biracial people to look like, which is light-skinned with fluffy yet loose textured hair. I don't understand how we get "white passing" people that are Black biracial, but the idea on the other end of the spectrum- Black biracial children with darker skin tones- is not a concept that occurs more often in media. Like, there has to be Black biracial children that don't "look like" whiteness, the same way there are Black biracial children that don't look Black at all! So I really think we ought to loosen our grip on what and how we deem "this person is mixed". Maybe they're just light-skinned. Maybe they're brown-skinned and biracial! But that's me. 🙌🏾

-The "I didn't know they were supposed to be Black" well, if you don't know a character is even supposed to be Black, how would you even know to look for narrative relevance, or even stereotypes? How would you even understand what's going on if you don't even know what I look like enough to even recognize that this is the story being told? This is another one of those "character design affects the writing" moments, but it's also a "I need to expand how I recognize Blackness" moments. Let's do better on that.

#creatingblackcharacters #black character design

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angelicyoongie · 1 month ago

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(you're) always on my mind (Il)

— pairing: bird hybrid jimin x (f) reader — word count: 5.4k — summary: When your workplace announces that they've decided to promote collaboration between departments, you suddenly find yourself face to face with your sworn nemesis Park Jimin. Your plans to avoid him are quickly foiled as his presence turns the floor into a madhouse, your coworkers all vying for his attention. With so many people at his beck and call, why is it that Jimin is always so insistent on getting in your way?

01 - 02 - 03 / Masterlist

You stifle a yawn, blinking your bleary eyes at your screen.

It's not that the project is so demanding that it's keeping you from sleeping, it's more so ... everything else. It's been two weeks since you started working with Jimin and those weeks have consisted of jealous looks from the bird hybrid's groupies and dealing with an increasingly infuriating partner.

The thing is, Park Jimin just won't leave you alone.

"Coffee, for you."

You look up at Jimin as he gently pushes a takeaway cup over to your side of the table. He holds another one in his hand, presumably for himself, and gives you an encouraging nod as he catches your eye.

You tentatively reach out for the drink, finding it just the right side of hot as you wrap your fingers around it. You eye it suspiciously as you bring it up to your nose, giving the cup a discreet sniff. It simply smells like coffee, nothing more and nothing less. You doubt Jimin would poison you – but you wouldn't be surprised if the bird hybrid's definition of funny would be to prank you by putting something less than savory in your drink. Still, you hold his gaze as you bring the cup to your lips, determined not to give him the satisfaction of reacting if there is anything wrong with it.

You take a small sip, expecting the worst, but the taste that hits your tongue is normal. You drink a little more just to be sure but the taste remains the same. Based on the roast, you know that it's from the café down the block, the one that sells really good but horribly overpriced coffee. You've gone there with Jungkook a few times for a special pick-me-up when work has been rough but it's not something you would splurge on regularly.

"Thank you," You mumble, confused yet grateful that Jimin went out of his way to buy it for you.

Jimin's lips curve with a proud smile as he sees you enjoying the drink, his feathers ruffling happily as he takes his seat.

"My pleasure," His eyes crease under the force of his grin, the pale blush in his cheeks quickly hidden by his coffee cup.

You turn your attention back to your work, determined to get as much as possible done. Somehow it feels like you've seen more of Jimin in the past two weeks than you did Jungkook in the past three years, even though you worked side by side for all that time. It might be because Jimin insisted that you would work on the project together – squeezed into the smallest meeting room the department offers. If you're not looking at your screen, there's nowhere to look but directly at Jimin.

The bird hybrid just seems to constantly demand your attention in one way or another. If he's not sitting in front of you, he's walking around in circles, airing his ideas out loud to get your input. No matter what changes you propose, Jimin is always ready to challenge them, often turning a simple yes or no question into a discussion. He has a peculiar working style that absolutely grinds your gears but you can't deny that it works decently well.

Though, the absolute worst part of it all, is that Jimin is somehow becoming more and more attractive every day – and it's not like you can avoid looking at him. Your traitorous heart is beginning to feel confused and it certainly doesn't help that Jimin keeps pestering you about eating lunch together every day.

Even now, it's like clockwork as the time shifts to noon, Jimin's piercing eyes flicking up to meet yours as he coyly asks, "So, what are you doing for lunch today? I found this really nice ramen place just around the block a few days ago, I think you'd like–"

"Jimin-ssi!"

The smile on the bird hybrid's face turns into a grimace as the door to your private work room is flung open, his question interrupted by the same gaggle of people that never leaves him alone. The woman who called out his name, the one you've learned is another bird hybrid from Jimin's old department, sends you a hard glare when you don't immediately remove yourself from Jimin's presence.

You know this situation isn't exactly well-liked by his admirers – you've seen the frowns and heard the whispers whenever you leave the room – but she truly seems to detest the fact that you're working together in such close proximity. You're not sure what gave her the idea that you would take her precious Jimin away from her when that's the last thing you'd want to do, but you don't want to stick around to stoke that ire even more.

"It seems I'll have to decline, Park. Do enjoy your ramen though."

You quickly grab your essentials, shooting Jimin a strained smile before you slip out of the room. As scary as that woman is, you're thankful for her interruption today. A small part of you was tempted to take Jimin up on his offer for once, just to see why he's trying so hard to share a meal with you.

Shaking your head, you beeline straight for Jungkook, desperate for some fresh air and to look at something that isn't Park Jimin. You think you might be starting to go a little crazy from being cooped up in that room. That has to be the only explanation as to why you'd be willing to spend more time with him.

Of course, you should have known that Jimin wouldn't give up that easily.

You've been working on the project for a month now and despite the constant interruptions by his groupies, he never misses a chance to ask you out for lunch. He is nothing if not persistent. You have steeled yourself since that day you almost slipped up – now more determined than ever to not give into Jimin's charms. The thing is, you still can't figure out if he genuinely wants to share a friendly meal with you or if it's just another ploy to one-up you somehow. So many weeks of working together has started to shift your perception of him and you can concede that he's not as horrible as you first thought, but that's all there is to it.

You hold back a tired groan as you settle into the two-seater squished into the corner of the room, taking the tablet Jimin hands you with a muttered thank you.

The project has finally gotten to the stage where it's time to review all the ideas and plans you have so far so that you can narrow it down and choose the best direction to move forward with. Once you settle on that today, you should only have to spend a few more weeks crammed in here with Jimin before the design department takes over.

You watch as Jimin chooses the chair next to the couch, his wings looking awfully squished in that narrow space. The bird hybrid looks as unbothered as ever, tapping around on the tablet in his lap. Still, you can't shake the feeling that maybe Jimin has just gotten so used to conforming and contorting himself in public spaces that he doesn't even notice it anymore.

Clearing your throat, you catch Jimin's attention, his eyes as attentive as ever as they find yours. You nod at his compressed wings as you say, "Let's switch places, you look uncomfortable."

"Oh."

Jimin stares at you as if you've grown two heads, the purples in his eyes twinkling under the overhead light as he cocks his head. He glances over his shoulder as if he had forgotten he even had wings, seemingly considering your offer for a second before shaking his head.

"That's okay. You're tired and the couch is more comfortable than this chair anyway," He smiles.

"Park, you're crammed in there," You huff, ignoring the warmth that creeps up the back of your neck at Jimin's consideration. "You have wings, I don't. Please take the couch."

You can tell from the gentle look that crosses Jimin's face that he's going to chivalrously deny your offer once again. Before you can stop yourself, the part of your brain that maybe cares just a little opens your mouth and you find yourself saying, "Then let's share the couch at least. It would still be better than that chair."

For a moment, the shock on your face is mirrored on Jimin's. The bird hybrid shakes off the surprise much quicker, his smile brightening to a grin as he pushes himself out of the chair.

"Well, if you insist, then I'll gladly accept your offer."

The couch dips under Jimin's weight, his deep blue wings taking up so much space it almost feels like you've squeezed in another person between the two of you.

"Are you sure this is okay?"

You can tell by Jimin's shuffling that he's trying to make himself as small as possible and that just won't do. You won't allow him to view himself as an inconvenience.

Scooting forward on the couch, you leave a decent gap behind your back and the seat, making room for Jimin's wings.

"There, you can relax them a bit if you'd like. It looks painful holding your wings so tightly to your back all the time."

You look away before you can read Jimin's expression, turning back to the tablet in your lap. You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, belatedly realizing that maybe you just overstepped a boundary – that maybe it would've been better to wait until Jimin asked instead of just assuming what he needed.

Your cheeks turn warm with embarrassment as you mindlessly click around on the screen, your mind elsewhere as you try to come up with a decent apology. Judging by how Jimin hasn't said anything yet, you fear that you really did do something inappropriate.

Just as the words reach the tip of your tongue, your hands clenched awkwardly in your lap, you feel movement behind your back. Jimin lets out a deep, relieved sigh as he loosens up the position of his wings, letting them splay out as much as the couch allows. Even with the added space you gave him, his wings are so large that you can feel the feathers ruffling against the back of your shirt in tandem with Jimin's breaths.

"Thank you."

Jimin says it so softly that it catches you off-guard, your heart skipping a beat from how tender his voice sounds.

It seems it has caused your brain to short-circuit, because the next thing that comes out of your mouth is, "Are they heavy? Your wings, I mean."

Jimin is quiet for a moment. "Yes and no? They're the same as any other limb so I'm normally not very conscious of them. I don't notice the weight, but they can get tired and achy, just like an arm. Choosing to work for a human-based company probably wasn't the best decision on my part – it's not exactly made to accommodate someone like me."

You see Jimin shrug out of the corner of your eye.

"I see," You murmur.

The pit of your stomach feels unexpectedly heavy. Even though Jimin is your sworn nemesis, it still upsets you that he has accepted that hurting himself is the only way he'll be able to fit in. It makes you wonder if Hoseok is experiencing the same thing too – if the deer hybrid hasn't told you simply because he's expected as a hybrid to change himself to fit in alongside humans.

Jimin lightly knocks his arm into yours, the touch shaking you out of your thoughts.

"We should start reviewing our work if we want to go home today," He says, raising an eyebrow as he angles his tablet in your direction. "But if you want to spend more time with me–"

"There's no time like the present, let's start reviewing!" You sputter, tapping your screen rapidly in other to wake it back up.

Jimin lets out a low snort at how easily flustered you are, hiding his smile behind his hand as he begins to look through your collected ideas.

Once your embarrassment dies down, you find that the review session with Jimin goes by without a hitch. For the most part, you both agree on what ideas to keep and which to scrap, making your review session more productive than you had anticipated. You had imagined that Jimin would oppose all of your picks just to torture you, but it's quite the opposite. The bird hybrid listens and agrees with your chosen ideas and for the few he doesn't like – he provides good reasons as to why they won't work. You find yourself nodding along to his criticism, agreeing with the points you hadn't thought of yourself. Not only that, Jimin seems to do the same – in turn valuing your input and insight when you go through his proposed plans. It's such a stark contrast to the Jimin you've gotten used to that it's enough to make you wonder if you stepped into an alternative universe this morning.

You pause as you click on the next slide, your brows furrowing as you see a familiar idea.

You had included it in your proposal to Mr. Shin, the same one you threw away and never got to turn in. So how did it end up here?

"What's this?" You ask Jimin, pointing to your screen. "I never submitted these ideas."

"Ah," Jimin glances at your tablet, scratching the feathers at the back of his neck as he admits, "I did."

"I saw you throwing out your proposal when Mr. Shin announced that he had picked mine. It didn't feel right that you spent so much time on it and didn't even get to submit it because of me so I, well, turned it in for you. After you left that day."

You blink at him. "You went through my trash?"

"Well, it sounds bad when you say it like that!" Jimin groans. "I wanted us both to have an equal chance. Once Mr. Shin looked at it, he realized that your ideas were just as good as mine and wanted them implemented. I was favored because I'm a transfer, that's all. And I would never steal your ideas – I told him that I would refuse to use your concepts if you weren't willing to work together on this project."

You're not sure you like how it makes your stomach flutter. The high walls you've built to protect yourself are crumbling more and more with each passing day you spend together.

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

The smile Jimin gives you is almost blinding, his wings curving slightly inward almost as if they're trying to get a little closer to you.

You hate to admit it but maybe Jimin isn't as bad as you made him out to be. You may have imagined him as your enemy, someone who only wanted to tear you down and steal your opportunities, but so far Jimin has been nothing but nice to you. A little annoying sometimes sure, but he's never done anything malicious.

You offer him a smile in return, noting how the tops of his cheeks seem a little more red than usual.

Maybe it's about time that you admit that Jimin deserves a second chance.

"I've missed you," Jungkook whines, clinging to your arm. "Work is so boring without you!"

"We literally eat lunch together every day," You laugh.

You use your sleeve to wipe off the layer of dust that has settled on your monitor over the last few weeks. Jungkook holds on tighter to your other arm, pouting as he says, "That's not the same."

"I know," You sigh, lightly knocking your head against Jungkook's, "I missed you too."

After six weeks of working with Jimin in that small room, it almost feels foreign to be back at your desk with so many people milling about. You're honestly thankful that the bird hybrid had a meeting outside the office today, it gives you half a day to work without any disruptions. Your poor heart needs a few hours of calm and there's nothing like Jungkook's antics to take your mind off the rather confusing feelings you've been dealing with lately.

"Soooo.." Jungkook leans back in his chair, his eyes wide with faux innocence as he asks, "How has it been working with the enemy? You haven't complained as much the last couple of weeks."

It seems you're quiet for just a moment too long, Jungkook letting out a gasp as he exclaims, "Don't tell me Park Jimin has won you over?"

"Shut up," You huff, knocking his hand away from your arm. You bite the inside of your cheek, annoying flashes of Jimin's smile as you accept the coffee he brings you every morning – and how he never ceases to be irritatingly attentive and kind – racing through your mind.

"I guess he isn't as bad as I first thought," You concede.

Jungkook hums, avoiding your sharp glare as he turns to his computer. You can tell from the slight smirk on his face that he definitely isn't going to let this go – he's just going to wait until the perfect moment to interrogate you.

"Interesting."

"Don't make it weird," You hiss, "He's just a decent person, nothing more."

Jungkook nods. "As I said – interesting."

You rub the skin between your brows, already regretting not faking your disdain for Jimin. It seems your time apart from Jungkook has softened you too much and made you forget just how much of a persistent gremlin he can be when he thinks there's some juicy gossip to be uncovered.

You boot up your computer with a groan. You still have four hours to go before Jimin will return to the office and Jungkook is going to use every available second to interrogate you until he does. A fleeting, hopeful thought crosses your mind that maybe Jimin will come back sooner than he's supposed to in order to save you. Just as soon as you realize what you were just daydreaming about, you pinch your leg so hard it makes you wince, bringing yourself back to reality.

You were so excited to have some time away from Jimin but the moment he's gone, you're what, missing him?

You shake your head, ignoring the little flutter in your stomach that confirms you're right.

Sure, Jimin might be charming and sweet when it's just the two of you but the bird hybrid is an absolute flirt and you really shouldn't be reading anything into his advances. It's a recipe for getting hurt.

It seems the time you've spent alone with him has made you forget just how shameless he is when it comes to getting attention. You don't have to wait very long, only a few hours in fact, until that reminder smacks you in the face again.

"You're so annoying," You whine, giving Jungkook's chair a shove.

The moment Mr. Shin left his office for a meeting in another department, it was like the whole floor exhaled, low chatter bursting to life as the elevator doors closed.

Jungkook had seen it as his chance to get some answers, his mischief mode activated, and the constant pestering was starting to get on your nerves.

"Says you," Jungkook huffs, rolling himself back to his desk. "It's a simple yes or no question! Do you like him or not?"

"I tolerate him," You say, narrowing your eyes as Jungkook grabs the arms of your chair.

He pulls your chair flush with his, his own eyes narrowing in return, "That's not what I asked."

"Too bad," You wave your hand, "That's all you're going to get."

"Don't make me tickle you," Jungkook shakes out his fingers, "You know both of us will regret that."

"Jungkook, that's inappropriate! We're at work," You hiss as you snatch one of his hands out of the air, pressing it firmly against his chest. You're not going to let Jungkook expose you as a tickle squealer in front of your coworkers just because he's curious about something you don't have an answer to yet.

"What's inappropriate?"

You jerk back at the sound of Jimin's voice, shocked that you didn't notice the bird hybrid approaching your desks. You drop Jungkook's hand as you notice Jimin's burning stare, his violet eyes fixated on where your skin touched your friend. The fact that you feel so flustered by Jimin's sudden appearance makes it hard to think, your brain refusing to catch up.

"Nothing?" You squeak. You quickly clear your throat as Jungkook snickers under his breath, adding more confidence to your voice as you say, "It's nothing. You.. You're back earlier than expected, though?"

Jimin's gaze flickers between the two of you slowly, his expression unreadable. "The meeting didn't take as long as they first assumed. They offered to take us out to lunch to make up for it but I told them I already had an appointment I couldn't be late for."

Your heart thumps in your chest as Jimin pointedly looks your way. Surely he didn't rush back just to ask you out to lunch like he always does?

"Anyway," Jimin says, "I wanted to tell you that I'm back and that we can hold our progress meeting after our break is over."

"Right, sounds good," You smile.

"Talking about taking a break–"

Alarm bells start going off the moment you register Jungkook's teasing tone. The swift kick you land on the bottom of his chair is ignored, Jungkook's doe eyes spelling nothing but trouble as he continues, "If you don't have any lunch plans yet, Jimin-ssi, you'd be welcome to join us today."

It takes everything in you to not reach out and throttle him. You have no doubt Jungkook is doing this partly for the drama and partly because he thinks he's helping you in some roundabout way, but this is not it.

"I'm sure Jimin has some prior arrangement already–"

"I'd love to," Jimin's feathers ruffle happily behind his back, his beaming smile directed at you and only you, like you were the one to personally invite him. The force of it makes your heart race.

"Great!" Jungkook claps his hands, undeterred at being ignored. "Mr. Shin won't be back until the end of the day and there's only ten minutes left until lunchtime, so how about we head down now?"

Jungkook sends you a pointed look before you can protest. "Half the floor has already left, so we won't get in trouble."

"Fine," You smile through your teeth, your fleeting plan of sending Jimin to his desk and using that time to slip away foiled before you could even set it into motion. "Let's go eat lunch, then. Together."

"Let's," Jimin grins, taking a step towards the door. The bird hybrid's wings seem bigger than before, more relaxed, as he waits for you and Jungkook to grab your things.

You drag your feet as you follow Jimin, dreading the not-so-subtle questions you're sure Jungkook will be asking to test the water for you. While Jungkook is one of your closest friends and an overall great guy, you think his biggest flaw might be how much of a meddler he is.

"You and your damn muscles," You huff as Jungkook manhandles you into the elevator, blocking any chance you have at escaping.

"Please, you love them."

You only roll your eyes in response, knowing he isn't entirely wrong. You do like the extra space his muscles provide on packed elevator rides but aside from that, you couldn't be more neutral about Jungkook's body.

"Oh?" Jimin inquires, his violet eyes staring intently at Jungkook's arms, "They don't look that big?"

"I'll show you," Jungkook puffs out his chest, gladly offering his arm to the bird hybrid as a chance to show off.

Jimin wraps his hands around Jungkook's bicep, his gaze briefly flickering over to you before it returns to the man next to him. Something awed, maybe jealous, passes over Jimin's face as Jungkook flexes his muscles.

The bird hybrid doesn't shy away from squeezing and feeling up his arm, a sly smile crossing his lips as he says, "I didn't think you could get more handsome Jungkook-ssi, but look at you."

Jungkook sputters at the unexpected compliment, his cheeks turning red under Jimin's undivided attention.

You cross your arms, something unpleasant bubbling in your stomach as you watch Jimin's touch linger, the bird hybrid offering a few more compliments before the elevator announces its arrival.

Jimin exits first, leaving a flustered Jungkook behind. He looks at you with big eyes, hand covering the left side of his chest as he says, "Oh, he is good at this. I think my heart fluttered a little."

You swallow thickly, the reprimanding voice of your past self echoing in your head, reminding you that this is what Jimin is - a flirt. You're not special for receiving a little more of his attention lately, it's all just circumstance.

"You should get that checked out," You mutter, stepping out of the elevator to catch up with the bird hybrid.

Your goal is to do everything as quickly as possible – get your food, eat, and get out. But even you couldn't have expected just how awkward lunch would be.

From the moment Jimin took his seat next to you, you could feel the other people in the cafeteria staring you all down with envy. The situation certainly isn't made better by Jungkook and Hoseok - the two of them openly gawking and giggling whenever Jimin makes a comment that's even remotely funny. You know Jimin is charming, you can't deny that yourself, but you expected a little more resilience from your friends.

In the end, you end up picking at your food, unable to stomach much with the growing pit in your belly.

"Are you okay?" You glance over at Jimin, noting the concerned furrow between his brows.

"I'm fine," You force a wobbly smile, "I think I must have eaten something bad for breakfast."

"Should I go get you some medicine? There's a pharmacy right around the corner."

"It's fine." You quickly shake your head as Jimin begins to stand up, grabbing his arm to pull him back down into his seat. The bird hybrid doesn't seem convinced, his wings ruffling with protest behind his back.

"Wait, Y/n, did you try one of the protein shakes I gave you for breakfast? I told you not to drink it on an empty stomach–"

Jungkook's voice turns muffled, blending into the background noise as you shift your eyes from Jimin and meet hers across the room.

It's the same woman, the bird hybrid from Jimin's old department, who stops by your little makeshift office every day to drag him out for lunch. She's a swan, you think, known to be awfully territorial over what they consider to be theirs. And you have no doubt that she's staked her claim on Jimin, regardless of whether he knows or not.

But he's not hers.

And he's not yours either.

The realization feels like a shot to the heart.

Even from the other side of the cafeteria, you can tell her gaze is venomous as she stares you down. The uneasy feeling in your stomach keeps growing, clawing at your insides, desperate to get out. She's looking at you like she knows what you're thinking – what you're feeling – they all are, and you absolutely cannot let Jimin find out.

"Uhm," You hastily push yourself to your feet, "I need to use the bathroom. I'm not feeling good."

You scurry off as fast as your legs can carry you, ignoring the familiar voices that call out your name. You don't stop until you reach the bathroom that's a little ways down the hall from the cafeteria.

Locking yourself in a stall, you sink onto the closed toilet lid, hands covering your face.

"Fuck," You whisper.

You like Jimin.

You can't pinpoint exactly when it happened but in retrospect, it's obvious your feelings for him have been growing for a while now, blossoming into something beyond your control. The worst part is – you don't even know if Jimin is single. It's never been a subject that has interested you before recently and you honestly just assumed that he must be taken based on the amount of attention he always garners when he walks into a room.

You take a deep breath, lightly slapping your face to bring yourself back to reality.

Jimin might be taken but he might also not be. You won't know for sure until you ask - or well, until you get Jungkook to not-so-casually bring it up with him. You might have a chance.

Until then, you just have to go out there and pretend that nothing has changed, that all is still like it was. You still have a job to do, regardless of your feelings.

Quickly washing your hands, you brace yourself to walk back into the cafeteria. Your flushed appearance can be blamed on not feeling good – you're certainly not going to admit it's because you finally understand that you like Jimin.

You tap your hands on your trousers as you step out of the bathroom, making sure they're dry as you walk back down the hallway.

Your steps halt as you reach the corner, your feet rooted to the ground as you hear Jimin's hushed voice in tandem with another. You plaster yourself to the wall, holding your breath as you listen in to what they're talking about.

"Be serious!" A female voice hisses. The swan hybrid.

"You expect her to help you? To treat you right? She's human, Jimin-ssi, she doesn't know anything about what it means to be a hybrid."

The swan hybrid spits out the word like it's a curse, followed by the sound of annoyed, rustling feathers.

"Do you think she's going to even look at you once your little project is over? She's just going to run back to her "friend"."

Oh.

She's talking about you.

The anxiety bubbling in your stomach roars back to life, your hands shaking as you find you can't do anything but listen - your feet unable to move.

Jimin's silence feels like a knife through the heart. Surely he doesn't think anything is going on between you and Jungkook? He knows you're just friends. And even so, you believed that you had grown closer lately, so much so that maybe you would continue to talk even when the project was over. But judging by his lack of response, it seems that you haven't given Jimin that impression at all.

"She doesn't deserve you. She can't do the things I can do, babe. "

You hear a deep sigh, Jimin's, his voice tight as he admits, "You're right. I know that. She's not you–"

Before you even realize it, you're already halfway down the hallway, feet carrying you straight back to the bathroom. Your blood is roaring in your ears, the last part of Jimin's sentence mercifully too muffled for you to hear.

It seems you got this all wrong. It doesn't matter if Jimin is single, because he clearly doesn't like you like that. It seems the kindness he's been showing you has just been him being a good co-worker, keeping things civil and friendly.

You must have been projecting your feelings onto him, reading into things that didn't even exist.

How mortifying.

You stumble back into the same stall you only left a few minutes prior, eyes burning, as you lock the door behind you. You're not sure which emotion is strongest – disappointment, embarrassment, heartbreak, but it hurts all the same.

You can only hope that Jimin hasn't noticed your growing interest in the same way as the swan hybrid had.

There's only one thing you can do to save yourself from further humiliation, to make sure that doesn't happen.

You have to pretend your feelings never changed. That you only tolerate him at best.

You have to pretend until it becomes true again.

Maybe it's time to go back to how things were, to distance yourself. Even if you fooled yourself into hoping for something more, the truth is that there is only one thing you and Jimin can be.

Enemies.

a/n: welcome back! it sure wasn't my plan to spend two months on this chapter but i've been jumping from one assignment to another and i've been more or less sick this entire time, so it sadly took me much longer than expected :( but here we are with ch 2! there will be three chapters total for this fic, so we still have one more to go.

what do you think so far? will jimin be able to clear up this misunderstanding and will the mc trust him enough to accept it? 🫣

i would love to hear your thoughts so far and reblogs are very much appreciated 💖

#bts x reader #bts x you #jimin x reader #hybrid au #office au #hybrid jimin #jimin au #enemies to lovers au #hybrid bts #rivals to lovers au

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