#Keyleth (half-elf Druid)

[eryniell]

I love these two cuties so much 🥹💚

[rondanchan]

It's been a min since I've taken a break to do some fan art. Here's Keyleth from The Legend of Vox Machina! (Which I have just finished the first season of.)

[the-twisted-tales-tavern]

Breeding 1E: Keyleth is rather adamant about wanting to give Calypso another brother or sister. Looks like Omega is going to be busy for the next week.

Breeding: 1E

“We’re not stopping until you’re bearing triplets.”

It was a statement Omega had murmured often in the throes of passion—one growled low and lustful into his beloved’s ear as he plowed her hard into their bed or against the wall, usually accompanied by a rough kiss or a hard smack to her ass. Usually, it just was said to intensify the mood, and make her even more horny and desperate for him.

Not tonight, though. Tonight, those words were uttered with a calm, reassuring tone, as Omega leaned close and pressed his forehead to Keyleth’s. His hands rested softly on her thighs, slowly folding her down into a mating press under him, his massive cock grinding against her folds, pressing down into her and promising her request.

“You want to give Calypso siblings, and I’m going to make that happen,” the lavender-skinned tiefling promised in a soft and tender tone, his hips slowly pulling back to line himself up, and slowly sink into her.

“Then do it~” Keyleth softly murmured, her arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders. Her eyes stared deep into those of her husband—her lips parting in a soft sigh as she felt his cock scrape against her pussy’s walls, the pace slow and passionate at first. “Breed me, Omega~ and don’t stop until I’m a mother again~”

The handsome tiefling nodded softly, and the distance between them closed as his lips stole hers in a deep and passionate kiss—his voice turning into a low groan of desire as he pulled his hips back and drove them down, hard, again—the smack of his hips on hers, the clap of her ass, filling the bedroom and setting the rough and steady beat their bodies began to dance to.

It would be days before any of the other Devils saw the duo again.

[libby1080]

Keyleth the seer of Breath

[syppys-den]

has he though?

we love supportive friends

[banditomojado]

ATTENTION I HAVE FOUND A NEW SHOW TO OBSESS OVER. THE FOLLOWING IS A BRIEF BREAKDOWN OF ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS AND WHY I LOVE THEM/WOULD DIE FOR THEM ALREADY.

Mild spoilers for the first 5 episodes of The Legend of Vox Machina!

Oh boy, where do I begin!!! I have always been a lover of fantasy ever since I saw LOTR as a young child! Unfortunately, I didn't grow up around friends who were into the genre so I was never exposed to things like D&D. But fear not, folks like me! You need not be a D&D veteran to enjoy this show! Okay, so let's start talking about the characters featured in this party!

First up, the twins! Specifically here, Vex'ahlia "Vex" Vessar! So I love that the series features a sibling pair. Vex, at least in the first few episodes, seems to be the de facto leader of the group. She's a half-elf, half-human, a ranger-type, a badass archer and skilled warrior. The group, especially her brother, seems to look to her for guidance and commands in a lot of situations. She's so cool and has a strong presence in every scene. She has a dry wit, always on point with her verbal jabs. I've only known her for a day, and already I would trust her with my life. I do feel like she is a little too controlling of her twin brother, but so far she hasn't done anything too awful besides passive-aggressively disapproving of her brother's budding attraction to another member of the party, but more on that later!

And now for her brother, Vax'ildan "Vax" Vessar! He is a rogue-like character, specializing in daggers and throwing knives, and stealthy combat. He is also a wizard at picking locks. Much like his sister, he maintains a cool, mysterious aura about him, and he seems to come in handy whenever the situation calls to be sneaky. LOVE that the series has heavily implied he's a bi-king, featuring several scenes in the first five episodes where he flirts with both male and female characters. I love his relationship with his sister, you can already tell they have been through a lot and have helped each other survive it all, although it could prove troublesome if he does in fact decide to pursue a certain other half-elf, half-human member of the party...

Speaking of which, up next is Keyleth of the Air Ashari! She is a druid, capable of a wide array of magical abilities like controlling plant-life and shape-shifting into different kinds of animals! She's so cool, but she also has a sort of "fresh-out-of-college-stumbling-through-life" kind of vibe that I find utterly adorable. She's awkward, messes up a lot, struggles with self-esteem issues, but always tries her absolute best and has already saved the party from certain death a few times. I'm a sucker for flawed, awkward characters who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and are just trying to do their best. Apparently she is currently on a ritualistic quest (Aramenté) to prove herself to her people so she can one day lead them and is not allowed to return until she has done so. So much pressure on my girl! She is obviously attracted to Vax, and I think they would make a cute couple, but something tells me that things won't quite work out for them...

Up next is Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III! He is by far the "edgiest" member of the group. He is a human gunslinger, a somewhat surprising set of skills for a fantasy setting, but it fits into this world perfectly! He's incredibly skilled with his gun, very smart, and by far the most sophisticated of the party. He comes from royalty, after all, and the first five episodes reveal how that life was ripped from him following a violent coup d'état which resulted in the slaughter of his entire family. So needless to say, my man has some baggage. He seems to possess a darker side to him that only appears when he is in a state of rage. He is very scary when in that state, and even carries around a plague doctors mask for such occasions. Revenge stories are a favorite of mine, as they always manage to provide the character seeking revenge with immensely satisfying/cathartic arcs, so I'm very much excited to see where the story takes him! I also think it's very telling that he is the sole human character of the party, it explains his inclination towards the dark side!

Next up we have Pike Trickfoot! She is a gnome cleric, capable of magical abilities like healing and conjuring up light-based energy shields. She is a fascinating character, given that her magic stems from heavily religious beliefs, though she seems to revel in violent situations and vices like binge drinking. She is a sweetheart, always looking out for the other members of the party, but also not afraid to go toe-to-toe with an enemy! The first five episodes see her lose connection to the Everlight, a kind of goddess that is the source of her magical abilities, thus she is forced to separate from the group. This was a huge bummer, because I really enjoyed her interactions with the other members of the party, especially her close friendship with the next member of the group I'll be talking about!

Next up is Grog Strongjaw! He is a Goliath barbarian, specializing in brute strength and combat with his mighty ax. Normally I'm not that interested in big, buff, warrior-like characters, but he's an absolute delight! He provides a lot of the show's comedic relief, due in large part to his limited wit and insatiable desire for bloodshed. He is big and dumb, but full of heart and determination to keep his friends safe, especially Pike, who he seems to share an especially close bond with. LOVE that he calls her "Pikey"! Having to see them go their separate ways so early into the series was definitely upsetting (seeing him cry over not being able to feel her presence while they were apart was precious), but I'm glad the group still has his brute strength to rely on if things get hairy.

And finally, we have Scanlan Shorthalt! He is a gnome bard, who also seems to possess a few magical abilities via his lute, such as being able to conjure up a large, floating purple hand. He is by far the main source of comedic relief of the group, crass and hedonistic, with an admirable ability for quick wit. He is also the group's resident slut, never wasting an opportunity to possibly get laid. He also appears to be bi, which is lovely. Comic relief characters often hide the saddest backstories, so I'm excited to delve more into his past and learn more about him. He also seems to have a crush on Pike, which is just absolutely adorable, although based on how he acts around the group, it's no wonder nothing has happened between them yet. Better wait until he grows up a bit, Pikey.

So far, the series has given me plenty of reasons to love each member of the party, and the writing for them has so far been excellent! Love their various little interactions, I think you could pair off or group any member together and you would still get a satisfying story/adventure. Five episodes in and I'm completely hooked! If anyone who is a fan of the show wants to watch along with me, let me know! I know I'm super late to the party, but I would LOVE to discuss the story with someone! I'm aware that these characters existed long before the Amazon show and that the show itself was a result of a large fan-funded campaign, so I'm especially eager to get to talk to fans who have been there from the very beginning!

[utilitycaster]

re: an earlier ask, what are your gripes with lifespan angst? at worst I'm, like, mildly uninterested, but I don't have many strong opinions on it - curious to see if you might convince me otherwise.

My core issue with lifespan angst is that it tends to go hand in hand with fandoms' disregard for second (or third, or fourth) loves - people really lean hard into the idea that you get ONE soulmate and if they die young you are tragically alone forever to grieve, instead of embracing two truths: first, lots of people lose partners very young in real life. One of my grandmothers outlived her husband (my grandfather, who died when I was about a year old) by over twenty years, and he didn't die terribly young. I know multiple people, including a relative, who lost a fiance in their late 20s or early 30s. The idea of outliving a partner by decades is totally normal in our real world and to act like this is a world-shattering epic tragedy instead of one of the many smaller, realer, and more complicated tragedies that exist in real life is in my opinion quite childish, melodramatic, and ultimately not as interesting as the truth.

To that point I think a lot of people who are super into lifespan angst are just...people who are more interested in romantic angst than character or story, and see characters as like, an epi-pen injector of The Feels instead of as interesting concepts moving throughout a realized world, and their writing suffers as a result.

I also feel it's often grafted onto relationships that don't really have them. The reason Keyleth is exempted is because she has SUCH a long lifespan AND she thinks about this in canon, which makes sense, because she becomes a L20 Druid at age like, 23, and then her partner IMMEDIATELY dies very young! But like...Caleb and Essek? I would imagine they are very realistic about Caleb's lifespan vs. Essek's, particularly since Essek comes from a culture where this is extremely common (and half elves in the Empire aren't rare either; I don't know if Caleb thought about it personally but culturally, elf and human relationships are normal). I also found a lot of the people who were like "omg lifespan angst" seem to think that like, age 50 is decrepit; and for Caleb and Essek they tended to sort of not consider the possibility of nonmonogamy even though Caleb canonically has been in a poly relationship. Like it feels it's almost always comorbid with other bad takes, in addition to being a bad take itself.

Mildly uninterested is not a bad way to be; I tend towards strong opinions for better or for worse, and if your attitude is more go with the flow that is probably a good trait to have, but yeah, it just. takes relationships I really enjoy and distills them down into something reductive and weird and often ageist and overly afraid of talking about death and finding new love again, and I love talking about death and loss and grief in a way that isn't cheap angst but is actually real.

[vaxildanscyare]

Just to try it on

Short Vaxleth Oneshot / SFW

In advance I apologise if it sucks , I am slowly getting back to writing one shots and fanfics over all

It’s hard to explain how it felt to once more reunite with the group which he treated like his own family , to reunite with his beloved twin sister and with the woman who he didn’t stop to love through this entire time. Of course it was still taking a moment for him to get used to it.

Vox Machina was reunited once more , deciding to stay in a group for a few days before separating into their own paths again. On the morning of the first day Vex’ahlia decided that she wanted to take her twin , Vax’ildan for a morning hunt so they could get some fresh meat for breakfast and then later for lunch if they got lucky. Together they managed to catch five rabbits and one boar , well it turned out better than he imagined after so long a time he thought that he would be out of practice. After around two hours they were back at the Keep where the team was staying temporarily. Of course they could have been in Scanlan’s Chateau but let’s be honest… Most of them were tired of eating chicken the entire time.

Vax’ildan followed right after his sister , a dead boar hooked over his shoulders as he carried it. Some blood from the animal's corpse was dripping down onto his cloak and armor , ughh… horrible. It will be a rather big annoyance attempting to clean it up and he prays that he will manage to get rid of potential future stench as well. He will remember to change the clothing next time , hopefully.

After getting the dead animals to the kitchen , the rogue decided that this would be the perfect moment to change into different clothing and wash Deathwalker’s Ward as soon as he could manage. As he was making his way towards his room he could hear distant shouting of the fellow Barbarian who seemed to argue a little with the bard , it seems like Grog had lost a bet and now is a bit frustrated about this , he could also hear a female's voice… assuming that it was Pike who tried to calm down the small tension that occured between the two.

Getting closer and closer to his room he could hear small rustling inside which caused him to become silent and listen in his surroundings with bigger focus. His hand slowly reached for his dagger , prepared to deal with a potential thief who had broken into his room to potentially steal… Well it wouldn’t be the first time when they had thieves here trying to break into the Keep , however after so many failed attempts he thought that they would just simply give up. The half elf’s hand landed on the door handle , taking a hold of it and slowly opening making sure to not make any unnecessary creak which could alert the intruder.

Oh this wasn’t something he expected…

As he peeked into the room he could see a rather tall figure standing on the other side of the room wearing his old cloak he used to wear back before he got Deathwalker’s Ward. The cloak was a bit too short for them , as his gaze wandered higher he soon realized who it was. How could he not recognise that fiery hair , that tall figure , even if she was standing with her back towards him he exactly knew that it was his beloved druid , he didn’t even imagined for once of how she would look wearing his cloak but now seeing it he started to regret not doing it at least once.

He stepped carefully inside the room , his side moving to lean against the doorframe as he observed her for a longer while , surprise slowly shifting into slight amusement. His one hand moved to land on his hip as he decided that he would observe how she is checking herself out in his cloak , trying to take in the image for how long he could just in case he would ever forget it… just in case it wouldn’t happen again. After a long while Vax’ildan finally decided to speak.

” Black looks interesting on you. ”

And as he expected Keyleth would get slightly startled by his voice , seeing her jump a little and quickly turning around to look at him , cheeks heated up. Her embarrassed expression was met with the rogue's smirk of amusement.

“ V-Vax .ᐟ I’m sorry- I know I should have asked… “

Vax’ildan let out a soft laugh, pulling himself away from the doorframe now , making his way over towards his partner. However, in a moment pausing in the middle of the way to meet her , no, maybe he should stay away from the potential range of her being able to smell the boar’s stench and blood on his clothes.

“ Hey hey… it’s alright. you’re fine , no worries. Anyways I haven’t worn it for quite some time , you can keep it if you want. “

He spoke quietly , seeing how his girlfriend’s tense expression slowly turned into a calm and relaxed one. Small smile as he folded arms over his chest.

“ It fits you , I didn’t expect you to ever wear black but here we are… Maybe you should consider wearing some darker colours from time to time ? “

Vax’ildan playfully added , just to ease the atmosphere and he felt like he did it well after he heard Keyleth’s soft chuckle. Soon she made her way closer towards him however the stench instantly hit her , causing her to grimace slightly just for a tiny second however it was enough for the rogue to notice.

“ Ugh… You smell… where have you been ? “

“ Morning hunt with my sister , we got a bear and a few rabbits. “

As the druid approached , rogue’s hands moved higher to adjust a bit the cloak which was laying on her shoulders , maybe he should let her wear it and keep it after all it looked on her quite well.

“ You know now to think about it it would be only fair if you tried something of mine on yourself as well. “

And that caused him to let out a small laugh , because of what he could potentially wear ? Any piece of her clothing wouldn’t fit him , not to mention they would be too big… cons of having a taller girlfriend than you. Your own clothes being too small for her , meanwhile her clothes being too big for you. As he was caught in his own thoughts he felt something placed on his head that snapped him out of his thinking , caught off guard. It took him just a mere seconds to realize it was her antlers , blinking twice before his eyes met her emerald hues.

“ You look pretty in them. “

Oh… and now he got called pretty.

Well he had been called by others different names many times - handsome , good looking , sexy , attractive… but rather he cannot figure out if he even been called pretty , even if he would it probably was the first time she called him pretty. His chocolate hues glanced towards the only medium mirror he had in his room , the antlers were a bit too big for him however they somehow managed to stay on his head.

“ Heh… “

Vax’ildan only managed to say only that before the druid’s hand gently landed on his cheek making him to look at her again which caused the half elf rogue to suddenly blush , he was confident fifteen minutes ago and now he was becoming a mush just by looking at his girlfriend , her complimenting him and her just touching him. Keyleth just had that talent which she probably hadn't realized of how easily she could turn him into a stuttering blushing mess.

“ T-T-Thank you… “

Vax’ildan leaned up moving closer with his face towards hers and it seems like Keyleth moved to lean in as well until suddenly that similar grimace appeared on her face as she pulled away , however soon he could hear her laugh.

“ Vax for fuck sake… please go wash yourself… I don’t want to smell like a dead pig.”

“Actually it was a boar.”

“ Same thing , go clean yourself. “

The rogue let out a soft laugh , yeah he can forget about the affection for now when he is smelling like that specially with how the smell of blood was getting worse and worse the longer it stayed on his armor.

“ Alright , Alright… I will be back in thirteen minutes. “

[6rookie-writer0110]

Request: Hi there for the headcanon of Keyleth (The Legend of Vox Machina) dating the Son of Kratos and Lysandra could you include that Y/n (Alexios) wears Spartan armor and has a broken spear that his father Kratos given him before y/n's death

•It’s snowing but Keyleth went to the forest, to train her magic. She felt embarrassed because she failed to do a simple task with magic. Someone made fun of her now she feels like crap.

•Keyleth uses magic but has a hard time controlling it. Everyone considers her weak and doesn't take her seriously.

•You are hunting for meat and fur.

•You see her trying to create fire but she doesn't notice the undead wolf behind her getting ready to attack.

•You grab your sword and you run towards her.

•She noticted you and she started to scream. She tries to use her magic to attack you but she can't summon her magic.

•You start to fight with the dead wolf. Keyleth thought you were going to hurt her. She tries to use her magic to help you but she accidentally hurt you.

“Sorry!” Keyleth yelled

You get up from the ground, you use your sword to cut the head off the wolf. Keyleth thanked you and apologized again for hurting you.

•” My name is Keyleth. I'm half-elf druid” Keyleth said

“Y/N, but some call me Alexios,” You said

•Since that day, you and Keyleth first became friends.

•She would go to the woods to see you and you would help her train.

•She used to hesitate because she didn't want to hurt you again.

•You and Keyleth confessed feelings for each other at the same time while training together

•Keyleth didn't tell her friends that she had a boyfriend.

•But they noticted her behavior changed, she became more cheerful than usual.

•Her friends started to follow her and she didn't notice.

•They saw Keyleth kiss you, they couldn't believe their eyes. They started to talk so loud that you and Keyleth noticted them.

•You were going to attack them because you thought they were the enemies, but she stopped you and told you that they were her friends.

•She introduced you to her friends. They started to so many questions about you and Keyleth.

•When you told your girlfriend about your parents Kratos and Lysandra, she was in shock. Because she knows who is Kratos, she has heard stories about him.

•But she can see that you are close to your parents. She was very nervous to meet them.

•Your father would help you and Keyleth train.

•Your mother would give you advice on how to treat a woman.

•You keep spending more time with Keyleth. Slowly you started to open up to her and tell her your deepest secrets. And she would tell you her secrets also.

•You go on missions with Keyleth and her friends. But the plan doesn't go in order, because you would go in without thinking and just start to fight.

•keyleth would get angry at you. You and Keyleth would argue in front of her friends and it would be very awkward

•You and Keyleth won't stay mad long at each other but would apologize to each other

•While fighting a monster with Keyleth and her friends. Keyleth used a powerful magic attack to attack the monster, you got hurt in the process.

•She runs towards you and she is glad you are alive. She starts to kiss your lips and your face

“I’m okay,” You said

“I thought you died because of me, Alexios,” Keyleth said

“I told you before, you won't get rid of me that easily” You stated

“I love you, you big idiot” Keyleth playfully said

•She noticted what she said for the first time. She got nervous and started to stutter then you kissed her on the lips and she started to kiss you back.

•Keyleth was there when your father gave you his old spartan armor and broken spear. She knows how much you look up to your father and want to be strong like him.

•You would have the armor on to test your strength while wearing it.

•Your mother can see that you are madly in love with Keyleth.

“They remind me of us when we first met, my love” Lysandra smiled

“Their love is strong for each other. Meeting you was the best day of my life” Kratos said

•You go on a mission with Keyleth.

•You, Keyleth, and her friends came across Lord Sylas and Delilah Briarwood.

•Percy told you why he hates them, they tortured him.

•You and everyone else started to fight against the Briarwood.

•You have the armor on that your dad gave you. You tried to use the spear to kill Delilah, but she broke your spear. But you used your shield to hit her and she fell to the ground.

•Keyleth is fighting Sylas. He is too strong for her.

•She is using magic to block his attacks. He used his magic to summon a sword. She continued to block his attacks then she attacked him but it wasn't strong enough.

•You attacked Sylas with your shield. He went flying towards the ground. You made sure that Keyleth was okay. You tell her to keep fighting.

•You were protecting Keyleth from Delilah. But Delilah used her magic to attack Keyleth and she hit the wall. She gets up but she starts to run towards you.

•Keyleth used her magic too late. She saw Sylas use his sword to stab you from behind. He stabbed you in the back, she screamed your name. You fall to your knees then everything turns black.

•Keyleth was crying then she became angry. Her friends watch her use a powerful magic spell and they have never seen her like that before.

•Keyleth used her magic to kill the Briarwood.

•She ran towards you. She tried to wake you up then she used her magic to heal you. But it didn't work

“Keyleth, he is gone,” Percy said

“No! I can-I can make him better. He promised that we would get married! He promised that he wouldn't leave me” Keyleth cried

•She brings your head next to her chest and her tears go down her cheeks. She keeps telling you to wake up.

•Keyleth and her friends told your parents what happened. They cried and Keyleth blamed herself for your death.

•Kratos and Lysandra don't blame Keyleth for your death. They hugged her.

•Your parents planned your funeral. Keyleth still blames herself. Lysandra hugged Keyleth.

•Your father wanted to you wear the armor before they buried you.

[no-more-tales-tavern]

Twisted Tales Tavern Special:

On the Road Again~

Unless you're getting shot out of a cannon every time you and your party sets off on a new quest, the journey to your destination can be a long one. Townships are often days— sometimes over a week—of hard travel apart from each other, and between random encounters and general boredom, there's a million different ways to fill the time between point A and B. Just try not to lose yourself so much in the journey that you forget your destination entirely~

Canon Muses: Keyleth of the Air Ashari (Half-Elf Moon Druid), Vex'ahlia Vessar/DeRolo (Half-Elf Beastmaster Ranger), Jester Lavorre (Tiefling Trickster Cleric), Nott the Thicc (Goblin Arcane Trickster Rogue), Yasha Nydoorin (Aasimar Zealot Barbarian), Fearne Calloway (Satyr Wildfire Druid), Deanna Leimert (Gnome Life Cleric)

Ruby Rose (Human Ranger/Rogue), Weiss Schnee (Half-Elf Lore Bard), Blake Belladonna (Tabaxi Assassin Rogue), Yang Xiao-Long (Human Barbarian/Monk), Pyrrha Nikos (Human Champion Fighter)

Ochako Uraraka (Human Graviturgy Wizard), Momo Yaoyorozu (Human Monk/Rogue), Mina Ashido (Tiefling Spores Druid), Nejire Hado (Air Genasi Long Death Monk), Rumi Usagiyama (Lagomore Barbarian/Monk)

Test Muses: Anko Mitarashi (Half-Elf Assassin Rogue), Naruko Uzumaki (Half-Elf Beast Barbarian), Rukia Kuchiki (Halfling Bladesinger Wizard), Rangiku Matsumoto (Half-Elf Glamour Bard), Neliel Tu Odelschwanck (Satyr Ancients Paladin), Lucy Heartfilia (Aasimar Celestial Soul Sorcerer), Erza Scarlet (Human Battlemaster Fighter)

OC Muses: Jaerik Aldraeyds, Yora Vor’ziira, Esper Willowwind, Jade Ren, Terra Verdell

Kinks: Outdoors, Monster-Fucking, Hiding, Cheating, Mind-Break

Memes: Some Like it Rough v1, Overwhelmed, The Great Outdoors

[eryniell]

Keyleth of the Air Ashari 🌱🍃🍄💚

[vaxyl]

Sometimes a family is…

a half human/half elf aasimar ranger who dabbles in rogue and druid (Vex'ahlia) and her adopted grizzly bear (Trinket)

a half human/half elf vampire aasimar rogue who dabbles in ranger and druid (Vax'ildan) and his adopted raven (Simon)

a half human/half elf aasimar druid princess (Keyleth)

a demon-touched human fighter with a reluctant warlock pact (Percy) and his smoke demon warlock patron (Orthax)

a sickly middle-aged human wizard (Gale)

a half human/half elf vampire rogue (Astarion)

a baby githyanki fighter (Lae'zel)

an amnesiac half human/half elf cleric of Shar (Shadowheart)

a demon-touched human paladin of Bahamut with a reluctant warlock pact (Wyll) and his cambion warlock patron (Mizora)

and a cyborg tiefling barbarian paladin of Ilmater (Karlach)

Bonus - A look at my takes on Vax, Vex, Keyleth & Percy from the dnd show Critical Role:

Vex'ahlia (26, she/her) -

Vax'ildan (26, he/him) -

Keyleth (24, she/her) -

Percy (23, he/him) -

[the-perverse-library]

Hyper sized tits for Keyleth - The Spire of Conflux is a vestige that belonged to the Wildmother. Apparently, that also meant Keyleth grew massive milky tits that constantly dripped with milk once she attuned to the staff. How does she relieve the pressure?

Keyleth had strived to make the Air Ashari proud and her mother proud. So, when she found herself in possession of a Vestige of Divergence, especially once personally crafted by the Wildmother, the redheaded half-elf was over the moon. She acted impulsively and immediately connected herself, in body and soul, to the Spire of Conflux as she attuned to the staff's well-spring of might and magic.

The touch of the nature goddess was more than Keyleth could handle, leaving her frozen in place as Melora's power flooded into her. Keyleth felt her power swell within her the longer she held onto the staff. The thrumming pulse of her newly engorged strength left her lost in her own mind. Keyleth had never felt more in communion with the natural world than she did in this moment.

...Keyleth...

...Keyleth...

"Keyleth!!" A voice shouted, shocking the half-elf from her post-attunement delirium.

"Moo~! I-I mean, what?" Keyleth yelped out, her face red from embarrassment. She stared at her friends as they all looked at her with shocked expressions. Keyleth was about to say something else, but the sight of their open mouths caused her to feel a massive tightness in her chest that went from her shoulders all the way down to her waist. That was when Keyleth came face to face with a secret boon of Melora: Massive milky melons. She softly cupped one of her tits in her hands and massaged it, and almost collapsed as a mind-melting wave of euphoria crashed over her as she sprayed all of Vox Machina in her magically-infused milk.

......

"~Mooo~re! I-I'm still sooo full!!!" Keyleth mooed, begging for Vex and Vax to continue to drink from her. She knew they were full, but so were Grog, Scanlan, and Pike. Every member had gone above and beyond to try and help milk her dry, but the power of Melora exceeded even the Goliath's bottomless belly. Keyleth sat in a pool of her own pussy juice and milk as the druid eyed her leaking udders one last time before slowly grabbing them and stuffing them into her own mouth. Thoughtless bliss flooded her again as she slurped and drank down the endless tide of sweet-sugary milk.

[the-twisted-tales-tavern]

Twisted Gif Set: Breeding: 7 [A]

Keyleth goes into heat during one of her Wild Shapes and goes back to her normal form incredibly horny. Thankfully, she knows a certain Werewolf Doctor who's more than willing to help her with that predicament~

[Breeding, knotting, flirting if you wanna and biting]

Breeding: 7A

"You know, Keyleth~" Alexander murmured with a low groan, "There are other ways to remedy this~ not that I'm complaining~"

The redheaded druid groaned with desire, nodding to his words but otherwise not stopping as her hips rolled. "Perhaps~ but are there any that leave us both feeling this good~?" she mused, and smirked back over her shoulder to him, grinding herself back against the massive cock she felt plunging deep into her folds. A cock that made her body tremble with want every time she forced it deeper in.

The wolf man growled a bit and let a smirk spread across his muzzle. "No, I suppose not~" he murmured, and reached around to cup one of her sizable breasts, his claws slightly sinking into the soft doughiness—not enough to pierce, but enough to coax a louder moan from his rider. "Still, if you wanted to be fucked, you didn't need to go through all this trouble~ you know that~"

"But where's the fun in that~?"

Her question coaxed a low bark of amusement from the werewolf, and he growled as he bucked his hips hard up into her. This wasn't the first time that he'd helped the Ashari leader through a post-Wild Shape heat—by his count, it was probably a dozen now that she'd called his aid for. After the third, it had begun to be clear to him that these were no longer accidents—not that he had any complaints, if it meant having such a shapely beauty riding his cock so often.

"Fair~" he finally replied, and his other hand moved to wrap around her slender neck, tilting her head back as he leaned in close—his snout almost brushing against her lips in a kiss before he growled low. "But if you want it so bad, you could just ask~ and then I could pin you down and fuck you whenever we want~"

Keyleth blushed at the gruffer tone, before a sharp gasp escaped her—instead of responding, her hips fell hard into his lap, and she felt the shape of his knot suddenly sink hard into her folds, her hips jerking as she felt every inch of his cock suddenly inside her again. She groaned, whining and moaning with desire—and as if possessed by a beast all her own, the busty redhead began riding him harder, faster, her moans filling her small home as she gave in to her lusts even more.

Her doctor could only huff and growl in reply, shaking his head as he let her continue. Perhaps next time, he'd get her to confess at last.

[alastorsbride]

I have no inspiration 😭😭😭 so here's a copy (and edit) of chapter 2 or A Diary of a sinner. (Btw it's like 11pmish and I can't sleep 😅🤭 this chapter going to be short sorry 😔 could someone please request anything? I'm so bored and I got no ideas!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Chappy 2

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒖𝒑:

Nim is Y/N's demon nickname, short for Nightmare Damsel. Also, I'm adding other characters in this story from Vox Machina and the reader is Hisirdoux Casprians twin sister, Douxie is also married to Zoe.

▅▄▃▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▂▃▄▅

Gunslinger Percival de Rolo III (human brother)

Cassandra De Rolo (human sister)

Gnome cleric Pike Trickfoot

Barbarian Grog Strongjaw

Gnome bard Scanlan Shorthalt,

Half-elf druid Keyleth

Half-elf rogue Vax'ildan (elf brother)

Half-elf ranger Vex'ahlia (elf sister)

(Ignore the list of the creature the characters are, it's just so I have an idea of who's who because my memory kinda sucks.💀)

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Previously on The Diary Of A Sinner:

I sighed silently. Vlad and Vanellope never left my mind. I could never stop thinking of them. They were only 9 and 10 years of age when I died. I wished I could've lived longer.

I suddenly got the feeling of being followed. 'Hmmm. Who's wishing to die now?' I thought. I changed my course and walked down an alley, and then turned around and got in a defensive position with my twin daggers ready.

"I know you followed me. Not quite wise." I spoke menacingly and threatened.

"Ooh, come on Nim, you wouldn't hurt an ol' friend, would ya sweets?" A familiar traditional Brooklyn gangster voice called out.

I twisted my daggers backward, and they disappeared in F/C smoke. I scoffed.

"Don't try me, Dusty." I spoke.

The voice laughed. "Yeah, it might be a good idea."

I chuckled. The voice wrapped his arm around my shoulder as if we were the best of friends.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat to catch up, but unfortunately, I have to go." I shook my shoulder out of his grip.

"Well, hopefully I'll see you later then? Hmm?" And the voice got a phone call.

I left down to a small looking shop called Gilmores Shop.

"Hey guys," I called to the group gathered around the bar lobby. chatting or doing whatever.

"Nim!" A short male gnome spoke.

"What's up?" Vax asked twisting his knives in his hand.

"Nothing. Just ran into an old friend." I spoke.

"Y/N. What happened? You smell like blood." Percival asked, not believing me.

Right. I forgot that after Dusty chatted with me, I'd gotten into a fight with a couple of demons, won and then got myself cleaned off.

"Nothing to worry about. I'm fine." I said, casually.

"Uh huh." Percy muttered.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a drink. This was my turf. And I can do whatever I wanted.

"Seriously, I'm fine. Like always. Are you forgetting who I am? Or do I have to remind you?" I threaten sternly.

"No, no, just... Nothing nevermind." Percival spoke.

"That's what I thought." I said.

"So... Nim... When is your brother coming back?" The little elf girl asked.

"Not for another six months. Pike."

I̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ h̶e̶r̶ n̶a̶m̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ P̶i̶e̶ o̶r̶ K̶i̶t̶e̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ s̶e̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ I̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ k̶n̶o̶w̶ h̶e̶r̶ n̶a̶m̶e̶ t̶i̶l̶l̶ I̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ u̶p̶ 💀

"Oh thats too bad. I had a question for him."

I just shrugged. I had a suspicion that she liked my brother, Hisirdoux. But I'd already told her he was married to Zoe like a hundred times before.

✧○ꊞ○ꊞ○•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙○♡๑•୨୧ ୨୧•๑♡○•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙○ꊞ○ꊞ○✧

So sorry the chapter is so short, I hit a writers block 😭

So I recently red a very good book called Radio By Your Side [One-Shots] by @Mad_and_Twisted (on wattpad) and I love the one shots so much, the only thing I didn't like was being left on a cliffhanger and that the One Shots wouldn't be a story.

And a reminder? :

So I'd decided to write this book from One-Shots and combine a whole bunch of them to 'make them my own' so that I don't copy from the author cause there's a ᏞϴͲ of authors who don't like it. But I don't really care if ya'll copy off of me, just as long as y'all credit me in the end. ☺

Also, I might not write this story for long, just a heads up. Sorry but when I get writers block for a long periods of time, and then get 'cured' I stop writing whatever it was before I got the major writers block illness. 😭😭😭

Also! I'm now officially grade 12! 🥺😨Exams are done for me but my sister who's in grade 8 still has exams to do... 😥 but I should have more time on my hands to write!

That is... If I get cured of this writers block...

Grade 12 is going to be so hard when I graduate, like I've traveled so much and never stayed at 1 school for long but then when I came here, i was in grade 7, so I wasnt really sad, but then when I got to grade 8 and up to now, it's like, I'm saying goodbye to everyone. I'm not going to be able to see them or even talk to my friends again and if I do, I'll be ᒐᙀᙅКƳ if that happens.

But I still have to say goodbye to all the relationships I've made these past 6 years. And when I move out, like I'm so used to hugging and kissing my mom and dad before leaving the house and before going to bed that after I'm moved out I won't be able to do that. I'd have to get my drivers license, drive from wherever im at to my parents home, hug and kiss them goodnight/goodmorning and then drive back home.

Sorry I just put that all on you guys it was just going through my head at the time.

Thank you and have a good day/afternoon/night stay safe (and if it's bed time for you, good night, sweet dreams!🤗)

Again, so sorry.

[the-french-belphegor]

Chapter 2 :o) In which the SHITs return the magic amulet to whom it may concern, get paid, and walk into the sunset with the satisfaction of a job well done. (None of it is a lie - some of it is even true.)

Also on AO3 here!

The Mechanics of Spellcasting

II.

Something had been tickling Scanlan’s nose for the past couple of days, like the start of a sneeze, and he didn’t like that.

Not that it was bad – nowhere near a hangover, or even an actual cold, and certainly nothing to appeal to Pike and Keyleth about for a lesser restoration. Especially just before a potential battle. Nobody had believed a bunch of creepy cultists would just hand over something precious or that the SHITs could have been sneaky enough to steal it from them before getting noticed. But now they had acquired the item they’d been hired to acquire and were looking at at least a couple of slow days, so if Scanlan really was coming down with something, all he’d have to do was ask. If it got bad.

At least nothing was stinging the back of his throat. As a bard, he was well-versed in a number of instruments, but nothing beat a good voice on good lyrics for both entertainment and inspiration, especially with one or both hands occupied.

Since there was nothing he could do about that – the fight had left them all pretty drained, and Scanlan himself only had energy for the small sorts of spells he could do in his sleep – he shoved the annoying tickle to the back of his mind and concentrated on keeping up with the group as they trekked through the swamp.

They found Selja’s house on dryer grassland, thank the gods. From the outside, it was more of a large shack than a house. Even the roof had grass on it. Probably a druid thing.

The door opened at Keyleth’s knock with a whiff of incense and mushrooms as the old dwarf, barely a few inches taller than Scanlan and Pike, blinked up at her under the shawl she’d wrapped around her entire upper half.

“Hi,” said Keyleth brightly. “So… Here’s the amulet.”

Selja stared at the item in question, still half wrapped in the thickest cloth they had found. Her whole body heaved a sigh.

“Thank the gods,” she said fervently. “Come in, come in! I knew you were the right people to ask. And none of you even died! Great job.”

“Um… Thank you?”

“Oh, no, girl, I should thank you. If those people had gone through with their plans the consequences would’ve been terrible. Terrible! Oh,” she added as she puttered about the room, deftly dodging hanging vines, sausages, and the odd cooking implement tied to the rafters for some reason, “pay no mind to the mess, I’m not in the habit of entertainin’ visitors. Do y’all want some tea?”

Keyleth and Percy perked up at that, while Scanlan elbowed Grog in the thigh.

“Did you hear that, buddy? Sounds like we saved the world.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be really hard, though?” Grog whispered back.

Scanlan grinned up at him. “For people that aren’t you? Sure it is.”

“Oh.” Grog shrugged. “Well. All in a day’s work, right?”

Some people mistook ‘simple’ for ‘stupid’. Grog Strongjaw, barbarian extraordinaire, all-around badass, and Scanlan’s best friend, was indeed simple, in the way an axe was simple. Sure, he didn’t do letters, and numbers were a mystery to him, but he was straightforward as a punch to the face and you always knew where you stood with him. In short, he was pretty much Scanlan’s exact opposite, which was in no small part why Scanlan liked him so much.

When Scanlan looked back down, he made eye contact with Pike on the other side of the goliath, smiling at the exchange. Her expression was soft and unguarded, open affection shining in her eyes so brightly Scanlan had to look away.

“Tea would be great, thank you,” Vex said in that regal way she got just before she switched to haggling mode. “But, um, unpleasant things first. What about our fee?”

“Oh, sure, sure.” Selja doubled back and trotted up to Keyleth, uncomfortably close from the way the half-elf took a hasty step back and almost dropped the amulet and the scarf. “I’ll just – thank you –”

She picked up the amulet bare-handed from Keyleth’s fingers without bothering with the wrap, drawing a concert of gasps and hisses from the tall folks and Pike, and gave it a lick.

Nothing happened.

Five sets of lungs breathed one collective sigh of relief. Only five sets: Scanlan wasn’t sure Grog noticed the tension or cared about its origin. Grog and magic just didn’t mesh. As for himself, he was mildly curious about what the thing could actually do besides making walls explode.

Selja looked pensive. Then she sniffed – actually sniffed – Keyleth, who went stiff and made a face; then Trinket, who snuffled back; then Vex, who raised an eyebrow, and then all the way down the line to the rest of them. She spent enough time on Scanlan to make him wonder if he should feel insulted or flattered.

As usual, he fell back on the basics. Uncomfortable? Afraid? Put on the spot? Charm your way out.

“Why, fair maiden,” he said with his most alluring smile, “if you’d like to conduct a more intimate investigation of my person in more private circumstances, you only have to ask.”

Selja paused and stared at him.

“You. You picked up the Eye of Melora, correct?”

“Uh, no? I used this.” A flick of his wrist, a short hum, and a mage hand popped into existence. “Seemed like a good idea not to touch it.”

The beady eyes jumped back and forth from his face to the incorporeal hand floating near his head for a long while. The spell had enough time to flicker and fade. Just as Scanlan started to struggle to keep up his easy grin, the dwarf clapped him on the shoulder hard enough to make him stumble.

“Good. Looks like you’re not gonna die, then. Now, about that reward…”

Selja walked away in a flurry of skirts, leaving Scanlan just a little stunned.

He recovered quickly, though. Hopefully they could wrap things up now. Sure, he’d been curious about what the thing could do, but not to the point of wanting to stay for tea. They’d fought, they’d won, and even a tiny backwater town like Blackridgepool had to have a tavern where they could celebrate properly. The heavy incense combined with the pervasive smell of hummus, mushrooms, and woodsmoke was starting to give him a headache.

Selja dropped the amulet on a little table near the window covered with pots, empty or filled with plants, and disappeared under it. For a few seconds all they could see of her was her skirts and petticoats – and presumably her butt – until they heard the sound of a latch closing and a triumphant “Hah! I knew I had some left.”

“There you go, honey,” she said, putting a pouch in Vex’s hands and closing her fingers on it. “Diamond dust. Got to be a hundred and ten gold’s worth at least. It’s all I have right now – but like your little friend said, you did kinda save the world, even if it was for a fee.”

Vex goggled at the pouch, but rallied magnificently.

“Thank you,” she said, “and I hope you’ll consider hiring the Super-High Intensity Team again for your future world-saving needs.”

Selja, already back at the table wearing a headband with some kind of big round lens dangling from it, snorted.

“I might, at that. Knew there was more to you than a silly name. Now, I don’t mean to kick y’all out, but I need to figure out what those weirdos did with the Eye of Melora.”

“No tea, then?” asked Vax wryly. Selja whirled around, her eyes wide.

“That’s right, I did say… oh, well, next time. Sorry.” She went back to her work. “Blackridgepool’s five miles to the south-west, you might wanna get there before it gets too dark. Travel safe!”

She raised her hand in goodbye, not even looking up from the amulet, and a small gust of wind knocked the door open.

The SHITs trailed one by one out of the shack, dazed and a little confused. Vex kept stealing glances at the pouch; Percy looked deep in thought; Scanlan was just glad to be out of the stuffy atmosphere. Seriously, who even used that much incense?

He took a long lungful of sharp winter air. The sting of it almost burned his chest, but at least the headache building behind his eyes abated.

Travelling through the swamp earlier had meant tromping on sodden soil, among sparse trees that looked ugly and underfed, and trying to avoid stepping into the actual marsh that lapped at the trail sometimes. Travelling through the swamp now, as the afternoon darkened into evening, meant a thick fog that made it all the harder to tell the difference between dry land and bog. After one near-miss too many, Vex walked up front with Trinket, all senses on high alert, followed step after step by Vax, Percy, and Keyleth; Grog simply scooped up both gnomes and set them on each of his shoulders. Much as Scanlan disliked getting picked up like a bag of dirty laundry without getting asked first, he was grateful not to have to plod through the clingy mud any more. Each step had leached energy from his legs, his back, his chest; the headache from earlier was back with a vengeance and he found himself fishing in his pocket for his handkerchief more often than what could be chalked up to the ambient humidity.

Maybe he’d have to ask for that lesser restoration after all.

(Tomorrow. Tomorrow everybody’s magic would be fully stocked again.)

At least in the meantime he could rest for a bit. The fog might be chilly, but Grog radiated warmth. Scanlan laid his head against the big bald skull and closed his eyes, determined to enjoy the ride.

Sure, tall people had longer legs, but they were too small to fit on Grog’s shoulders. That Grog was able and willing to carry him and Pike was a serious perk.

He must have dozed off without meaning to, because Pike’s voice startled him so badly he almost fell off.

“…him. Scanlan? Do you remem—oh, were you asleep?”

“Nope,” he replied instinctively, rubbing his eyes with the hand that wasn’t clutching Grog’s spaulder. His head felt heavy for some reason, like full of warm mist. “Well, not really. Just resting my eyes a little bit. Why?”

“We were wondering what sort of spell the cultists wanted to use,” said Percy, before adding, wryly amused, “but if you prefer to nap…”

“I’m awake, I’m awake.” Pike was staring at him with a frown, and he was too out of it to try and figure out why. “What’s that you said about the—”

He barely finished the word before the tickle in his nose suddenly took up all the room and he let out a sneeze that rattled all the bones of his body and squeezed moisture from his eyes.

Oh. Okay. Well, that explained a few things.

Pike made a sympathetic face and called, “Hang on, guys, slow down. Grog, stop, please.”

Then she climbed to her feet, still atop Grog’s large shoulder like she’d been doing this all her life (which she probably had), and extended a hand to Scanlan over the top of Grog’s head.

“C’mere, Scanlan.”

When Pike asked for something, only a complete idiot would stop and wonder why, or, worse, say no. Scanlan could never refuse Pike anything. He got up carefully, trying not to pay too much attention to the way the world wobbled, and leaned towards Pike.

And somehow mustered a smile.

“What do you want, Pikey? A song, a kiss, a sandwich? As long as it’s not a spell, ‘cause right now I’m…”

Pike removed her right glove with her teeth, still clinging to Grog with her other hand, and reached for the side of Scanlan’s face. After the initial shock, Scanlan tilted his head forward to allow the touch.

Gods, the feel of her palm on his cheek, his temple, in his hair. Her skin was blessedly cool, rough and callused and perfect, and he had to physically stop himself from leaning into her touch and closing his eyes.

The spell didn’t last more than a second or two. It went through his head like a spring wind, chasing the fog away; it caressed its way down his throat and into his chest, smoothing both the beat of his heart and the rasp that threatened to settle into his windpipe. For the first time in two days Scanlan didn’t feel on the brink of a sneeze. He hadn’t realised until now how annoying that had been.

Pike drew back her hand. He instantly missed its absence.

“Better?” she asked quietly.

“So much better,” he replied with a grin that was a hundred percent sincere for once. “Thanks a million. What was the question again, Percy?”

On they walked, chatting about whatever magic the creepy chanting guys had used, and whether it was nature-based (Keyleth and Vex said no), divine (jury was still out with Pike, who hadn’t been able to come close enough to make sure before it was over), or arcane. Scanlan had indeed felt something familiar, smelled the ozone, felt the fabric of the universe tremble like the air did just before a thunderclap – but beyond that he had no idea what those clowns had been doing. Which didn’t stop him from throwing out suggestions, bouncing off Grog’s remarks (the big guy had no idea how magic worked but his ideas usually turned out great, hilarious, or both), or absently humming bits of random songs that popped up in his head. Most of all, though, he listened, and watched the sounds of life (talking, bickering, laughing) push the chill and the darkness away for a while.

Blackridgepool was indeed a tiny backwater town, but it did have an inn. Wonder of wonders, that inn had a couple of three-bed rooms free, which meant the women could have their own while the four guys shared another. From there it was just a toss of the coin for Scanlan to know whose bed he’d be sharing, Grog’s or Vax’s – Percy was usually a no-go and the only other option was to join Trinket in the stables. Since he’d have to share a human-size blanket, Vax it was.

Sure, they were dead tired, a little banged-up still, and drained of all useful magic, but the ale was decent (especially for a town this small) and the stew was hot. And they had made out like bandits on this job. Maybe they could push westward until Westruun and have themselves a nice little holiday for a while.

Between the drink, the food, and the company – and the satisfying exhaustion from a victory over assholes – Scanlan didn’t notice the return of the headache from earlier right away.

When he did, he blinked, startled. Even his eyeballs felt too warm.

That couldn’t be right.

While the conversation continued around him, he moved the giant tankard he’d claimed in front of him for cover and thought for a bit. His throat didn’t sting – good. That was the most important part. In fact, there was no trace of any of the signs of an impending cold: no tickle in his nose, no tightness in his cheekbones, no pressure in his upper chest; just that sensation of heavyhotuncomfortable all over, like a weighted blanket, and the impression that his brain was filled with thick steam.

Eh. He’d slept off worse before. As long as his voice was all right, everything else would be. Besides, Pike had most likely used the last dreg of her magic for his head cold earlier; no need to bother her for something that could wait till tomorrow, when they were all rested.

Rest. Some rest would be nice.

Scanlan pushed his tankard aside and carefully climbed down from his seat.

“Well,” he said, summoning his considerable talent for deception to make his smile convincing. “Ladies, gents –” he paused, then smirked, “– Vax – I’m off to bed. Care to join me?”

“Later,” Vax said with a snort. “You’d better make sure you’re not taking up all the room in the bed again. Oh, and don’t have too much fun while you’re alone, please. I prefer to sleep in a bed with clean sheets.”

“Wait,” said Keyleth, squinting at him in the way that meant she’d had a little too much to drink. “Waaaiit. It’s way too early. Why are you going to bed? Are we all going to bed? Is that what’s happening now?”

She pointed a finger at Scanlan, her other arm looped around Percy with her wrist dangling off his shoulder. Percy endured the contact like a champ, even looking sideways at her with fondness in his eyes. Tipsy Keyleth was pretty cute, in the way a drowsy kitten was cute. The fact that this kitten had lightning at her fingertips and could kill people with her vines was just a bonus.

“No, Keyleth. The night’s still young and we are not finished celebrating. Here, to your good health.” Percy handed her a glass of water, which she downed, squinted at, then giggled at.

“You’re sneaky, Percy.”

“You’re not goin’ off to a house of flesh, are you?” asked Grog, the picture of ‘dignified’. He was most likely the least drunk of them all. Getting Grog well and truly shitfaced would require more funds than they could ever spare. “Not without me?”

Scanlan let his mouth drop open and slapped both hands to his chest, making the gesture as theatrical as possible.

“Without you? Grog! Never! No,” he added, resisting the urge to blink the strange heat away from his eyes, “I’m just making an early night of it. Some of us care about their beauty sleep, you know.”

Vex smiled over the rim of her own tankard, lightning-quick.

“Oh, you mean it doesn’t happen on its own for you? What a shame.”

Scanlan inhaled, ready to retort something funny and sarcastic. The next second, his mind went blank. Just… devoid of any witty comeback, like any other idiot.

Vex lowered her tankard a fraction and raised an eyebrow.

“That wasn’t supposed to be a stumper.”

“Just bait, then,” countered Scanlan instinctively. His brain felt like it was running in slow-motion when it should be going a mile a minute. Things in there felt sluggish, like trying to sprint through knee-deep water. “And such a low-hanging fruit I’m not dignifying that with an answer.”

“Right. Well, you’d know a lot about low-hanging fruits.”

“Exactly. ‘Night, everybody.”

A chorus of variations on the theme answered him, Grog and Keyleth too loudly, Pike with a wave from behind her own human-size tankard. Scanlan sauntered off to the stairs, holding on to his façade with his teeth.

Thank goodness for Dr. Dranzel’s hardcore training. During the most formative years of his life, Scanlan had learned to play through illnesses, through hangovers, through tavern-wide brawls while dodging the occasional chair (tables were harder), and to always – always – play with a smile on his face.

The room the guys had picked had three beds and a window. That was the extent of what Scanlan noticed before dumping his leather vest, shoes, and outer clothes by the side of the first bed he saw. The last thing he did consciously before he blacked out was wonder how the hell the room still kept spinning even after he closed his eyes.

Oh, well. At least the bed was warm.

—

It was the cold that woke him up. That, and freaky dreams of chasing a vaguely familiar ice-white naked lady riding a nightmare with a flaming skull into a snow storm that swallowed him whole, then spat him back out on a rocking boat. Which for some reason was also frozen.

Scanlan woke up so deeply confused it took him a few seconds to realise he was shaking with cold. And that made no sense, either. While he had slept in the wild before, with tents, blankets, or other people’s body heat the only protection against hypothermia, he didn’t remember ever being this cold before. Where the hell was he again?

His mind offered memories in fragments, scattered. Swamp – inn. Three beds. Vax said he’d share.

Indeed, there was Vax, lying on his side a couple of inches from him, facing the other way, sleeping peacefully under the shelter of sheets and blankets – the same sheets and blankets piled on Scanlan as well.

And Scanlan was fucking freezing.

But also his head was on fire.

…Okay.

He tried curling up into the tightest ball possible, he tried spooning Vax, he tried everything, but still his teeth chattered and he kept shivering.

Heat. He needed heat. He needed… wait, no, not fire, bad idea in a room with no hearth. Plus he had no idea where to find a tinderbox and there was a good chance he couldn’t stop shaking enough to use it anyway. He needed the next best thing, he needed…

Scanlan’s eyes popped open in the dark.

Grog.

Grog was always warm, his memory supplied. Even thinking required effort, like treading through molasses. Grog was… yeah. Hot – obviously. But also warm. Big. Solid.

Safe.

Scanlan’s first step out of the bed sent him toppling to the floor, ass over teakettle. Fucking human-size beds, he thought as he grabbed the bed frame to stagger to his feet.

There was a sleepy murmur from the Vax-shaped mound above, but nothing more. Good – Scanlan wasn’t sure he would have been able to say anything in reply. He had been shivering in his nest of covers, next to Vax’s warm body; the temperature in the room while standing in stockinged feet on the wooden floor made him gasp silently. His chest twinged. Fuck it was cold.

Somehow he was still lucid enough to conjure a mage hand when he finally crossed the few feet to Grog’s bed. It was flimsy and almost transparent, but it was enough – and necessary. Temporary pudding for brains or no, Scanlan still knew better than to try to wake up his favourite goliath without some precautions.

The hand rose, stopped by Grog’s face, and poked his cheek.

If Scanlan hadn’t been chilled to the bone and barely conscious, he would have wondered at just how quickly Grog went from ‘out like a light’ to ‘mostly battle-ready’, great axe and all. Or he might have whistled. Or laughed.

Instead –

“Oi,” said Scanlan.

Grog glared around at the darkness, blinked, and looked down.

“Oh, hey, Scanlan. What’s up?” He made to put his axe away, then frowned. “It’s not my turn to keep watch, is it?”

Ah.

The flaw in the plan. Having to ask for help.

Shit.

Scanlan opened his mouth to joke, to lie, to say anything but the truth. The truth was boring and useless and deeply unfunny. Nobody liked boring, nobody wanted useless – unfunny was out of the fucking question. Now would have been the perfect moment to be unable to speak if he couldn’t spin a convincing yarn. Unfortunately, what came out of him instead was, “C—can I sleep with you?”

Grog blinked again.

“Sure. Thought you were sleepin’ with Vax tonight, though. What happened? Did he, like, fart really bad or something?”

The temptation to embroider on ‘yes’ for shits and giggles rose, replaced at the last minute with something sadly factual entirely against his will. Gods, being sick made him dull.

“N—no, I’m just c—cold.”

“Oh, okay, then. Should’ve said so.”

Grog picked him up and set him down along his side, under his left arm. Before he settled down and pulled up the blanket, though, he shot him a puzzled look.

“Uh, Scanlan? You sure you’re cold?”

“P—pretty fucking sure,” Scanlan muttered, shifting as close to Grog as he dared and trying to stop his teeth from chattering so damn much.

“’Cause you feel real warm.”

Scanlan made a non-committal noise that Grog appeared to take as a valid answer. And because, apparently, the universe had finally decided to give one Scanlan Shorthalt a break, Grog rolled over to his side with one giant arm around Scanlan, who ended up tucked against him with his face right between Grog’s pecs.

It was.

Incredibly hot.

(Also nicely toasty.)

“Wait,” said Grog after a while in a lower voice. Scanlan felt it rumble inside his chest and into his own, like an avalanche from far away. Wow. “Are you sick? I thought Pike did her magic thing earlier and healed you.”

“She did,” murmured Scanlan, muscles finally starting to unclench as the shaking died down. If you didn’t mind the smell, Grog was the best bedwarmer in the literal sense of the word. “I’ll be better tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” And then, from a place of maybe… thirty percent deflection and seventy percent authentic awe with no filter, he blurted out, “Gods, your tits are amazing.”

Perhaps he should have tried to open his eyes again just to see Grog’s face when he asked, “Huh. You think so?”

“’Course I d—do. I know tits. Seen a lot of hot tits. In my life. Yours are up there.”

“Aww. Thanks, mate.”

Scanlan meant to reply You’re welcome, he really did. Clearly whatever was in charge of him right now had other ideas, though. He sank into sleep like a stone into water before he could gather enough braincells to form words.

This time the water was warm and the sleep dreamless.

——

Look, Vex has the best tits in all of Tal’Dorei, period. But I’m going to second Scanlan re. Grog’s being a close contender. Considering Scanlan’s reaction in TLOVM to his head being tucked into Grog’s chest I’m inclined to say he agrees :D

See you next Friday for the next one 💜