#L + ratio + I don't care lmao

[shima-draws]

"Better designs" you say and then you just show edge lord bs.

[transrevolutions]

french revolution dashboard simulator

🐀 ami-du-peuple Follow

uh actually man has the right to deal with his oppressors by devouring their beating hearts. hope this helps.

🎩 departicle Follow

Hold up. Okay. Actually, fuck this. This sort of violent rhetoric should not be tolerated on here. Do you seriously think this sort of thing is going to make the nobility give you more rights???? You must be out of your minds! Reported.

🧵 seamstressproud Follow

reblog to devour this guy's beating heart

#username checks out lmao #politics #everybody point and laugh #common adp w

6,178 notes

organt-deactivated06151792

update: new canto out now!!! go check it out 😈😏🥀 (remember don't like don't read <3)

📜 sacredhostreceipts Follow

@centuriesandskies this you?? not such a great look for a convention rep ngl

🌄 centuriesandskies Follow

listen. I wrote this a long time ago, before I went into serious politics. the account is deactivated for a reason.

I was twenty. I did poorly. I can do better.

#sj.txt #if this is the worst dirt you can dig up on me #i'm way less corrupt than half the people in the convention these days #at least i'm not doing fucking. embezzlement. #also sacredhostreceipts if you're who i think you are #don't you have better things to do rn?

231 notes

🌎 landscape-showdown Follow

🌎 landscape-showdown Follow

why the fuck is everyone tagging this with french??? political figures?

#what the hell is going on over there #also maybe cool it with the death threats #I don't want this blog to get taken down #what's a girondin #is this some joke I'm not french enough to understand #showdown update

5,012 notes

⛪ progressivepriest Follow

Unpopular opinion but why is everyone so up in arms about the new Civil Oath? Literally all it's asking is for you to promise not to commit treason just because the Pope tells you to? I can see where people are coming from with the whole violation-of-religion deal, but can you blame the Assembly for trying to make sure the people aren't forcibly subjugated by the wealth of the nobility?

faith-first-alwaysdeactivated03011791

Sounds like something a heretic would say. To betray the Pope and king is to betray the will of God and your eternal soul! You should pray for forgiveness and pledge loyalty to the monarchy or have fun burning in hell. Sorry not sorry.

⛪ progressivepriest Follow

L + ratio + iirc the Bible says "it is easier for a rope to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven" (Matthew 19:24)

🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow

occasional based catholic moment, go off OP!

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

looked the faith-first-always guy's blog, he's like a massive anti-huguenot too 🙄 why is it always the prot-exclusive radical catholics smh

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

LMAOOOOO HE DEACTIVATED

#religion tag #percs fuck off #anyways op makes a valid point #reblog #percs dni

3,719 notes

🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow

she committee on my safety til I can't go public

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

I don't understand the joke, can someone explain please?? 🙂 Thank you!

🧵 seamstressproud Follow

is that fucking MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE?!!?!?!?

🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow

oh my god citizen robespierre I'm so sorry this was not meant to break containment lol I didn't even know you were on this site please forget you saw this

#this is the most embarassing moment of my life #literally sobbing rn #the original post is /j i prommy #i cannot be known as the citizen who had to explain this to the government

19,853 notes

🪓 indulgentsfuckoff Follow

fabre d'eglantine is NOT your poor little meow meow citizens he literally falsified decrees from the national convention and embezzled money to line his own pockets. I don't care how uwu babygirl you think he is he is a CRIMINAL who should be ARRESTED

💛 i-give-people-bread Follow

🥖🍞🥐

#baguette #loaf #croissant #i-give-people-bread #indulgentsfuckoff #silly

2,011 notes

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

fucking fed up with the constant threat of the swiss guard, I think it's time we got some gunpowder and weapons and took things into our own hands yknow what I'm saying

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

I'm no longer joking about this btw

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

update:

hopital

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

ok bc I've gotten like 50 asks about this: I am not injured and I am not in need of medical care. the punchline was that we stormed the fucking hotel des invalides to get guns and powder. didn't want to clarify the joke before now for security reasons but everyone knows about that and the bastille thing by now. please direct your money to people who actually need it.

#shouldve clarified the last post was /j #however I assumed yall knew this joke already #anyways #revolution #personal #500 #1k

1,930 notes

🌾 nopain-nograin Follow

got so high at the festivial 2day i thnk i saw hte suapreme being

#robespiere speech was prboably 🔥 #unforntuately i camt rember any of it #grainposting #oipum ehre is somtehing else thes days #memes

8,256 notes

🎨 jldavid-real-moved Follow

incredible speech from @springtimeofgovernment today at the jacobin club. nobody should be permitted to use their positions as civic leaders to commit crimes against the people, even under the guise of revolutionary fervor. if it comes to it, I too will drink the hemlock with him. for france. 🤝🤝

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

Thanks for your support, @jldavid-real

The situation over here is deteriorating really quickly, the representatives are getting violent and abandoning due process entirely. Anything you can do to stand with us now would be very appreciated. You do a lot of great work for the revolution, and I trust you completely.

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

@jldavid-real are you still there? We could really use your help right now.

🌄 centuriesandskies Follow

boosting @springtimeofgovernment here, can confirm he's been injured in a skirmish at the hotel de ville, they're passing summary death sentences without trial, @jldavid-real where is the help you promised us??? the people of paris are our only hope now.

edit: of course he moved blogs. coward.

#sj.txt #disappointed yet unsurprised #marat would be ashamed of you #9 thermidor #update

15,794 notes

🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow

DNI if you support any of these groups/people or their actions: m0narchists, f3uillants, br1ssotins/g1rondins, th3rmidorians, b0napart1sts, h3nri du v3rgier (also goes by c0mte de r0chjacquelin), charl0tte c0rday, or lafay3tte

(h3bertists and dant0nists you're on thin ice. behave.)

#censored so they dont show up in the tags #dni #get your nasty ass ideologies off my page #won't hesitate to block and/or report any violators #pinned

52 notes

gracchus-babeufdeactivated05271797

reblog to make the directoire choke to death on their stupid fucking outfits

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

hey staff. yeah you. where did this blog go?? notfishgoujon and prairial-95 are gone as well?? cowards too afraid to show your faces lmao especially after the fucking mess the directoire's made of the country. bet you anything that staff are on their fucking payroll too iykwim at least the republic didn't tolerate fucking bribery

#this site's gone to the dogs since thermidor yr 2 #following the trend of the rest of the country tbh #i'll probably get nuked for posting this #if so i'm not making a new account #i'll just make a paleocities or smth #politics tag #reblog #don't play with me ik full well gb didn't delete his blog of his own free will #they also zero note glitched it #just when you think they can't stoop lower

0 notes

📕 spectrehauntingeurope Follow

it's been 50 fucking years since gracchus-babeuf (and the other CoE blogs) were deleted without warning and still no response from staff, the govt, or anything. the site's gone through a fuckton of ownership changes and still nothing.

we're working on a bit of a project (some of you might know abt it already), it's gonna be out prob in the next year or so. remember '89. remember '93 and '94. remember '97.

the people will rise again. it's only a matter of time. 🚩

-mod karl

[daily-rubbersoul-redux]

They're just lying to you, but whatever. I'm leaving this pathetic excuse for a blog.

ok bye lol

[starrywangxian]

how the mdzs characters would sign off emails

inspired by this post and this post

Wei Wuxian: Thanks - I'll see myself out, Wei Wuxian

Lan Wangji: Sincelery, Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun, Cloud Recesses, Gusu Lan Sect... (he would include full titles and addresses etc.)

Lan Xichen: Many thanks! Lan Xichen, Zewu-Jun. (it's passive aggressive to other sect leaders but to lwj he adds emojis - yes he emails his brother shh)

Lan Sizhui: Have a nice day, Lan Sizhui! :)

Lan Jingyi: Never stop the grind, Lan Jingyi - P.S. Plz don't fail me Hanguang-jun :(

Lan Qiren: Regrettably, Lan Qiren.

Qingheng-jun: That's all, Qingheng-jun.

Madam Lan: Talk soon! (i recognise this is ironic... but i feel like she'd write something really casual and nice :))

Lan Yi: Okay then. (i feel like she'd be very straight to the point lmao)

Ouyang Zizhen: Fare thee well, Ouyang Zizhen! :)

Jiang Cheng: Please stop reading the email.

Jiang Fengmian: Stay tuned, Jiang Fengmian.

Yu Ziyuan: May the lord forgive your sins, Yu Ziyuan.

Jiang Yanli: Thanks again, Jiang Yanli! :) ...Don't cross me.

Wei Changze: Sent via smoke signals. Best, Wei Changze. (i feel like he'd also write a joke but treat it like a fact lmao)

Cangse Sanren: Sent from the future ;) Cangse Sanren! (i feel like she'd write a jokey and fun sign off <3)

Jin Guangyao: You're the best boss ever (lol jk), Lianfang-zun.

Jin Ling: don't care + didn't ask + L + ratio. jin ling.

Jin Zixuan: Lukewarm regards, Jin Zixuan.

Jin Guangshan: Ciao! Jin Guangshan. (he tries to be friendly and cool because he thinks everyone likes him but he's just annoying and everyone hates him)

Madam Jin: Thank you. (P.S. Please send any important sect-related emails to me, my husband is useless and doesn't do anything).

Jin Zixun: The best, Jin Zixun.

Qin Su: See you in hell, Qin Su.

Mo Xuanyu: So long and thanks for all the fish! Mo Xuanyu.

Nie Huaisang: Stay hydrated, queens! Nie Huaisang <3

Nie Mingjue: Over and Out, Chifeng-zun.

Wen Ruohan: May the Night bless you, signed Overlord Wen Ruohan.

Wen Ning: Apologies for existing :') Wen Qionglin

Wen Qing: Please don't contact me for 3-5 business days - kindest regards, Wen Qing, Head Physician.

Wen Chao: Mic drop, Wen Chao.

Wen Xu: Thanks, enjoy the hours you have left. Wen Xu.

Wen Zhuliu: Regards, Wen Zhuliu.

Wang Lingjiao: Live, laugh, love! Wang Lingjiao xoxox

Luo Qingyang: At a loss for words, Mianmian.

Xiao Xingchen: Live long and prosper, Xiao Xingchen!

Song Lan: May God be with you in these trying times, Song Zichen.

A-Qing: God's favourite child, A-Qing.

Xue Yang: YOur FrIendly NEIghBOur... XuE ChEngmEI.

Su She: Remember the name: Su Minshan.

Baoshan Sanren: That's it. Baoshan Sanren. (i feel like she'd be straight to the point too)

[underworld-park-offical]

GREGORY: Oh no no no no no

GREGORY: What the fuck are you on about?

CLYDE: I

CLYDE: Ermmm

CLYDE: Uhhh

GREGORY: Go ahead, explain

CLYDE: ….

CLYDE: ….

CLYDE: ….

CLYDE: nnnnnoooo

TWEEK: Bitch keep it down

TWEEK: I need some fucking puddin

GREGORY: Tweeky!

GREGORY: Calm yourself!

TWEEK: NO!! I GOT HIT BY A CAR AND I SMELL LIKE KOOL AID!!!

TWEEK: I'M NOT GONNA CALM DOWN!!!

THOMAS: Sorry Tweek…

THOMAS: Here…

THOMAS: Have a Puddin, you're not you when you're hungry

GREGORY: Don’t give him too much now, he’ll spoil his appetite 

KENNY: (I got this fucking flamingo from Stan’s bunker)

KENNY: (Should I hit him with it?) CARTMAN: (Yes! Fucker! Hit him!)

KENNY: (Okay! Okay!)

KENNY: DIE WHORE!!

CRAIG: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE! FAGGOT!

GREGORY:A GAUAHJHEJYUFDHGEFCGVGUEGCVHGU

GREGORY: UGH! FIRST MY LOUIS VUITTON AND NOW MY LUSCIOUS LOCKS!!!

GREGORY: WHAT NEXT?!??! MY SKINCARE ROUTINE?!!? GREGORY: I'LL BE  FINISHED!!!

CRAIG: Haha imagine crying over a brand

CRAIG: This is why you should buy Craig_The_Real_Tucker merch

TOLKIEN: Don’t even you’d cry over your yeezys

CRAIG: Don't tread on me

CRAIG: Blue lives matter guys

CRAIG: and by blue I mean me,

CRAIG: because I have a blue hat on

TWEEK: Where's my fucking pudding???

TWEEK: I came to this house, got hit by a fucking car, and didnt get any puddin

TWEEK: Where the fuck is it.

CRAIG: I forgor

THOMAS: I thought I already gave you some?

TWEEK: It's vanilla.

TWEEK: I FUCKING HATE VANILLA!

THOMAS: Shit.

GREGORY: Tweek needs his chocolate pudding

GREGORY: He’s a growing boy

TWEEK: Please never say that again

CRAIG: What are you his dad? L

GREGORY: I might as well be

GREGORY: I love my growing spore of madness 

TWEEK: Ugh

TWEEK: Stop it daaaa….. Greeeeegory….

GREGORY: Awwww just admit it, Tweeky! You love your dad

TWEEK: We’re the SAME AGE

GREGORY: No actually, I'm thousands of millennia older than you

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: WHAT

CRAIG: Omg demon lore

KENNY: SCREW THE DEMON LORE, WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

CRAIG: Literally why????

KENNY: IF THE NEW KID IS A DEMON, STAN'S GONNA GO INSANE! WE GOTTA GO

CRAIG: Shit lmao L big L ratio L bozo

TOLKIEN: SHUT THE FUCK UP GET IN THE FUCKING MERCADES

CRAIG: Not you being unable to open your own car

CRAIG: Loser

TOLKIEN: I'M TRYING SHUT THE FUCK UP

TOLKIEN: CLYDE GOT HIS GREASY SLIMY SHIT HANDS ALL OVER IT

CRAIG: Omg yall are in your divorce era?

CRAIG: Slay moment

CLYDE: FUCK OFF, BOTH OF YOU!!!

GREGORY: Oh nuh uh! GREGORY: I HATE rich people!!

TOLKIEN: MY CAR!!!

TOLKIEN: MY FUCKING CAR!!!!

KENNY: SCREW THE CAR 

KENNY: WE GOTTA GO KENNY: NOW

TWEEK: Shit

TWEEK: Pip is gonna be so pissed off

TWEEK: At least my legs aren't broken I guess?

THOMAS: Oh god

THOMAS: Do you think we…

GREGORY: Should get her?

GREGORY: Yes

TWEEK: Fuck

TWEEK: Do we have to?

TWEEK: She’ll nag all our ears off

THOMAS: It can't be that bad?

THOMAS: At least we know she cares I guess?

(Images edited by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Thoughts on AEW: Revolution (2024)

There will be spoilers. There will also be a cut, as a courtesy.

Zero Hour:

The Bang Bang Scissor Gang (Max Caster, Anthony Bowens, Billy Gunn, Austin Gunn, Colten Gunn, Jay White) vs Jeff Jarrett, Stanam Singh, Jay Lethal, Willie Mack, and Private Part

This consistent thing of Max flubbing on the rap is interesting. My current assumption is that they're potentially having Max break away from the group. Which is an interesting choice, because Bowens is significantly more popular.

The match itself was totally fine. It was a Jarrett match. I didn't go into it expecting it to be some sort of masterpiece of technical wrestling. I expected a fun, goofy little thing with a bunch of silly shit happening that also happened to have some decent-to-good wrestling. And that's exactly what this was. No complaints.

I have no idea if White's post-match promo was intended to be interpreted as a smarmy, insincere thing filled with deliberately cheap pops for the audience, but that's how I heard it. It somehow made it so much better.

Willow Nightingale & Kris Statlander vs Julia Hart & Skye Blue

Julia Hart's character going from a cheerleader to "What if The Undertaker was a spooky girl instead?" is such an amazing transformation. I can't get over how well she's committed to the presentation of the gimmick, and how good this is. Skye going from blue-themed girl from Chicago to a Dark Kingdom cosplayer has also been an interesting development. I like how these two also seem to be enjoying the changeup.

Stokely Hathaway is hilarious. I love him on commentary. His inclusion of the dynamic with Willow and Kris is just fantastic.

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times-- I love Willow. She's one of my favorite women on the roster. The combination of the happy/bubbly personality that also contains someone who, if pressed, will rip you in half? Wonderful stuff. And Statlander is also consistently great. Watching these two throw Skye around was fantastic.

I was a little surprised to see Willow and Kris win without any major fuckery. Julia's moonsault looked significantly better compared the one with her match against Abadon.

It was a fun little match.

Revolution

Christian Cage vs Daniel Garcia, AEW TNT Championship

Christian Cage continues to be one of the best heels in professional wrestling today. A gimmick composed entirely of "lmao L + Ratio + Dead Dad" and "I will be your father"-- all while he wrestles in a goddamn sleeveless turtleneck? Everything about that is just somebody whose face you want to see punched.

Really happy to see Garcia get the match. I mentioned before that I had wanted DG to win. That didn't happen, but I thought everything about the match was great. Menard combing out there to beat the hell out of Luchasaurus/Killswitch in defense of Danny was great.

I thought Garcia looked good in this, and I don't think him losing to Christian (especially with all the interference) will cause any significant issues.

Ultimately, I enjoyed the match. I thought it was a good opener and kept me pretty invested the whole time. Although I'm wondering who is going to be the one to actually take the title off Christian.

Eddie Kingston vs Bryan Danielson, Continental Crown Championship (AEW Continental, ROH World, NJPW Strong Openweight Championships)

Bryan Danielson is without question one of the greatest technical pro wrestlers of all time. Also, he and Eddie both are fantastic in-ring storytellers.

Bryan Danielson, in his current iteration, is also a condescending piece of shit, and he's great at doing that, too.

Like Willow, I love Eddie. Eddie is up there with Hiroshi Tanahashi in that I will literally always cheer for him. I don't care who he's up against, I'm cheering for Eddie the whole time.

This match was amazing. Eddie and Bryan are so great at getting you emotionally invested in their matches. They both know what things they need to do for the audience to get hooked in, and they play those perfectly. The narrative of this match was perfect.

I went into this genuinely uncertain just who would win. The majority of the match didn't help matters. Eddie hitting the ring post with a chop, instead of Danielson, was a nice piece of drama to incorporate into things. I also liked how Danielson really made it a point to emphasize just how strong Eddie's chops are-- with commentary even pointing out Bryan things Eddie is better with chopping/upper body attacks.

A big narrative line through these Eddie Kingston Addresses the Blackpool Combat Club matches has been that BCC generally seems to think Eddie has the potential to be a lot better than he is, and they're trying to get that out of him. Except for Mox, they don't respect Eddie until he shows up and chops the fuck out of them. Eddie has always been on their level, but he doesn't believe in himself enough to really get there.

Great match. Just a great fucking match.

I know Eddie eventually is going to have to lose the belts. It's an inevitability unless just retire all of them simultaneously, but that seems unlikely. That said, I don't have to like it.

Wardlow vs Chris Jericho vs Powerhouse Hobbs vs Lance Archer vs Hook vs Brian Cage vs Magnus vs Dante Martin

Originally the Meat match, got changed up due to Reasons. I'll be honest, I didn't really care much about this match. I assumed Wardlow was going to win, because it didn't really make sense to do this repackaged presentation of him with Undisputed Kingdom, set up a match essentially to be like "Look at Wardlow slap all this meat" and then have him lose. The inclusion of the smaller guys was, like, fine. Dante Martin is great. Hook is fun. Magnus was also great. Chris Jericho was there.

I thought it was contrived and silly, but I also enjoyed when the smaller dudes all got knocked out of the ring so the bigger dudes could do a little pose off and have slap meat. But that's because the "MEAT" chants are hilarious to me.

My preferred ending to this match would have been if Wardlow had powerbombed Jericho for the win. But you can't get everything you want. Also, Wardlow using the Last Ride as his finisher is great. I wasn't the biggest fan of Bikertaker (and I believe he had only recently transitioned into Bikertaker whenever I fell off of watching WWF/E the first time) but Last Ride is such a great powerbomb.

A silly and fun match. It was a nice cooldown from Eddie/Bryan.

Roderick Strong vs Orange Cassidy, AEW International Championship

AEW's doctor said that OC wouldn't be cleared to wrestle unless they taped up his ribs and back. So the match starts with OC wearing a comical amount of kinesio tape. In a match against a man who is literally called "The Messiah of the Backbreaker".

Strong came to the ring wearing a white hooded cape and a skull-themed, like, paintball mask. I didn't recognize it at first, but I think it was intended to be something like Taskmaster from Marvel Comics. Which is kinda cool. I'm not as familiar with Taskmaster as much as other villains-- mostly because I just haven't read a lot of Marvel stuff.

Anyway, this was a good match. Roddy, as one would expect, beat the hell out of OC's back. I think OC did great at showing that he's just a beat down dude who has barely let himself take time to recover from any injuries. And having him go up against someone who basically specializes in hurting the area that OC was already injured was just perfect.

Roddy is great. The number of ways that man can spin something into a backbreaker is always impressive. I'm glad he won. I maintain that getting this win will absolutely help the legitimacy of Undisputed Kingdom.

Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli) vs FTR

I think that FTR is one of the greatest tag teams around today. I've said this before. I was a fan of theirs when they were in NXT as The Revival, and I loved their little Belt Collector run with AEW. In terms of non-WWE tag teams, they're usually right up there with The Young Bucks, and whether you're a fan of the Bucks or FTR really seems to boil down to the style you like to watch. The no-flips-just-fists of FTR is a great callback to the older era of wrestling, and the two of them do it well.

Mox and Claudio also do that very well.

This was a great match. These four dudes beat the shit out of each other, and I genuinely wasn't sure how the match would go.

BCC doing a Doomsday Device with a goddamn European uppercut was wild.

I think having Mox and Jon win was perfectly fine. FTR isn't going to be hurt by losing to these two dudes. They're fucking FTR. I could easily watch these four have several more matches together. There's a kind of respectful brutality with them.

That all being said, I do wish the meme of Mox bleeding every match-- or people being surprised when he isn't bleeding-- would finally die. He hasn't done it in a while.

Of course, half of Mox's character is basically some sort of blood freak with a violence fetish, so I still expect blood somewhere in his bigger matches.

"Timeless" Toni Storm vs Deonna Purrazzo, AEW Women's Championship

Mariah May coming out to Toni's old theme, with her old gear was a great touch.

Deonna is great. I'm happy to see her here. I'm glad that there's solid technical wrestling the women's division with her and Deeb being there. This was a solid match. I didn't really have a lot in terms of expectations-- I haven't seen a lot of Deonna's other stuff, but I knew she was good.

While I think it would have been fine if Deonna had one, I also think it may have been a bit too soon for that. Also, if Mercedes is debuting soon, that sets up a bit of a lose/lose if Deonna is the champion and they try to hook those two into a feud.

I definitely want to see more from Deonna. I think she would be a good person to take the TBS belt from Julia. I don't want her down in ROH-- but that's because ROH is a subscription service, and I don't currently have it (although I do want it, because Athena is one of my favorites).

I thought this was a solid match for both of them. Toni is always fun to watch in the ring. I'm curious to see where things go with both of them after this.

Will Ospreay vs Konosuke Takeshita

1 Like = 1 Bruv.

My expectation for this match was, quite literally, just that it was going to be a fucking fantastic match. Ospreay is one of the greats. Takeshita is steadily (and rapidly) approaching into the ranks of the greats.

I fucking loved this match. The crowd at the arena fucking loved this match. Every time Ospreay and Takeshita started in on each other, you could eat the people just get so into it.

Was this a dirty spotfest? Yeah. Of course. It's a Will Ospreay match. That's what he does. But you know what? I don't fucking care. I can enjoy watching ZSJ and Bryan Danielson spend an hour in the middle of the ring, trying to break each other's fingers and I can enjoy watching Ospreay and Takeshita jump around and flip and smash each other with elbows before jumping and flipping some more.

Spanish Fly is also one of my favorite moves to watch.

The match fucked. It humped. It was great. I loved it. It was A Spectacle if there ever was one. The kind of match you can eat popcorn to, although you're going to throw it everywhere because you jerking the bag around out of excitement. So much fun.

Samoa Joe vs Swerve Strickland vs HangMAD Hangman Adam Page

Did I want Swerve to win? Yes.

Did I want Hangman to win? Yes.

Did I want Samoa Joe to win? Yes.

Did I want Hangman to completely lose his mind and deliberately fuck over Swerve? Oh god, yes.

Swerve Strickland the most over wrestler who is not named "Sting" in AEW. There is nobody who comes close to this man. He literally broke into Hangman's home, and threated Hangman's infant child, and the crowd still loves him, because he's that fucking cool. And he's that good. Swerve's popularity is so strong that anyone who goes against him is going to be booed on some level.

Hangman has, as the upper-third of his name plate said, completely lost it. Wide-eyed, driven, and completely unhinged. Does he want the championship? Or does he just want Swerve to not have it?

Samoa Joe is Samoa Joe. We all love him. He's great on the mic. He's great in the ring. He feels credible and legitimate as a champion and a challenger. Having him be the champion for this feud is great.

A fantastic match. A ton of fun to watch. There was a perfect amount of drama for this thing. I loved it.

This match also cemented the double-turn for Swerve and Hangman.

Hangman, in an attempt to prevent Swerve from winning, beat up two different referees. The only way that's a babyface move is if your name is Bobby Heenan. Hangman's obsession with screwing over Swerve has caused him to start doing this stuff. I can't wait to see where they go with him now. Are they gonna change the music? Will they keep the goofy comments in the nameplate?

Swerve, by extension, refused to use Prince Nana's crown when it was offered, saying that he didn't need it. A thing that had been used before in matches against Hangman. There is an attempt here to have Swerve redeem himself for the deplorable things he's done.

In the end, Hangman tapped to Samoa Joe. Excalibur, help to sow the seeds that many people were wondering, posed the question if Hangman was tapping because he actually gave up, or if he was tapping to spite Swerve. I think it was the latter, because he's that much of a (justified) hater.

I am still 100% in favor of Hangman and Swerve fighting forever.

Sting and Darby Allin vs The Young Bucks, AEW Tag Team Championship

Sting's last match. Going out on his terms. This was a big deal for a lot of people. Even people who weren't in AEW. I knew this was going to be special.

Before the match starts, Ric Flair made his way down to the ring to take up space. Then, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat came down as the guest timekeeper. They also showed various other wrestlers in the audience.

The Young Bucks come out in robes and have cannons shoot out business cards. It felt like a corporate Okada entrance. I liked it.

Darby came out as he does.

Then we got a little video package of Sting in an empty theater as they show various career highlights. In the end, he says, "It's showtime. It's showtime for the last time. Let's do this."

Sting's entrance starts with one of his sons dressed as a red, white, and blue-themed Surfer Sting, complete with the blonde hair. Another son is dressed as Wolfpac Sting. Then we have Sting show up.

While Tony Schiavone's voice isn't as strong as it was in WCW, you can tell during his initial commentary during the match that's definitely trying not to get emotional.

Watching Sting, and his two sons, do Stinger Splashes to the Bucks was great.

Tables, chairs, a ladder, and panes of glass were brought out. Panes. Multiple. A series of chairs were set up, and one or two sheets of the glass were placed on top, like a table.

Sting and Darby went through tables.

Darby jumped from the ladder (which was quite tall) and landed back first into Chekov's Glass-and-Chair Table. He laid on the ground for quite some time, his back just absolutely shredded.

Sting, also, went through glass. However, he had clothes on, and looked unscathed.

The match was chaos in the best way. I had no idea who would win-- I expected The Bucks to do something fucky to screw over Sting. They threw everything at him. He withstood multiple superkicks and BTE/EVP Triggers.

Eventually, Darby came back to life, and managed to keep Nicholas Jackson at bay long enough for Sting to throw on the Scorpion Deathlock. Matthew taps. Sting and Darby retain.

Sting's last wrestling match, and he goes out on top. I didn't expect that. I don't know why I didn't expect that. Tony Khan is a billionaire wrestling nerd, and Sting was/is probably a favorite of his. If there was ever a wrestler who deserved to go out as the winner, it's Sting.

If AEW is around long enough to have a "Hall of Fame", Sting needs to be one of the first people inducted (the first person has to be Brodie Lee, or I will personally fight Tony Khan). I hope they are around long enough for that.

Miscellaneous non-match things

PAC IS COMING BACK. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I've missed that bastard.

KOR IS BACK. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. I missed that goofy son of a bitch. I was so worried he wouldn't be coming back. I can't watch to see how he's going to be interacting with Undisputed Kingdom, since he seemingly rejected Roddy's offer to join.

Apparently Toni Storm called out Wendy Richter again in the post-show media scrum. Which I just find consistently hilarious.

In Summary

This shit was fucking fun as hell, dude. AEW is very consistent in having good quality PPVs. World's End was probably the weakest one I've seen, and even then, it wasn't bad. I can't wait to see the fallout of things on Wednesday.

[yandere-daze]

I'm gonna ramble in your inbox so i don't clog up the dash (haha putting that on you!🫶) but listen listen. Imagine getting a shy voiceline, and you rate it with 5♡, the character is gonna be screaming into their pillow of joy that it worked. Imagine getting a cocky voiceline (like Shu, not offering, but telling you he will pick out clothes for you to wear) and rating them with a low number. They'd be punching the wall wondering what the hell went wrong. Imagine getting a character you dislike and not even listening before rating them with 1♡, depending on which character, they either fall into a state of depression and get lost from the code itself for a few days, or get so angry they bug out your game and make you incapable of logging in and getting any other voiceline...

And, like, literally so many are formulated as "you and character are out somewhere together (alone) and they notice you're cold and offer you a rather intimate way of warming up", with Koga offering you put your hands in his jacket's pockets and Arashi telling you she'll warm your hands in her own, I mean.... They have the freedom to show you what a winter date with them would be like, and how nice and caring and thoughtful they are..... and then you either show appreciation (5♡) and they can gloat and strut around like peacocks talking about "See? They love my line - my DATE. They want me." or you hit them with an L + ratio + i'd give you zero hearts if i could and they end the day sobbing into their pillow until it turns soggy and probably end up sabotaging the others or the game itself (so nobody gets a better score than them)

Altho i reckon the "average" scored ones would get interesting. The perfectionists would end up spending the entire year analysing who you gave a better score and who you gave a worse score so he can figure out your tastes and how to turn that 3 into a 5 for next year. The optimists would just go "hell yeah they liked it !!!! (Didn't give me a one)". The pessimists would aheem aheem sob sniffle and wonder what was missing. If only you could leave comments, too :((

Anyway. I just think about self-aware yandere enstars often.

No, no but you're so right with this!! You're always welcome to spam my inbox btw <3 ( or my dms lmao you know the drift)

But you as the player really have no idea how much of an impact your "insignificant" little rating has on the idols in the game. You're just reading a voice line, think it's cute, and then give it 5 stars before moving on with your day

But inside your phone, the character you gave that high rating to is completely over the moon, overjoyed and excited that they managed to impress you, that you liked their idea for a *date* with you!! Because that's obviously what all of this is about, yes? You're all alone on a snowy day so it counts 💕

But lmao I actually think it's so hilarious to see someone usually so confident and cocky like Shu or Izumi on their knees, crying, screaming, punching the ground because you gave them a low rating. How could this be??!!

I think they deserve to be humbled at least a little bit 😌 Maybe next time they'll learn to he a little nicer with you!

And ooh the ones that got a high rating would definitely brag and make everyone else either nervous ( because they haven't had their turn yet) or jealous (because you didn't give them a rating that high). The atmosphere at ES is going to be so these for the next few days, probably only topped by a valentine's event djdje

NOT THE L+RATIO 😭😭😭They really are going to start bawling their eyes out afterwards djrjr

But you mentioning the player just giving a character an automatic 1* rating without even reading the line makes me think about what might happen if you gave one of your favorite characters an immediate 5 star without actually paying too much attention.

Like, of course it's flattering but they also really wanted you to pay attention to what they had to say!! They wanted to go onto that (imaginary) date with you!!

And good thinking actually! I didn't even think about the average rating but I think you're right that getting a rating like that raises a lot of questions. So obviously they didn't do everything wrong but you also weren't too impressed. How are they going to figure out what to improve and what to leave out completely?? They can't really tell what you liked because you can't leave a comment...

So carefully observing everyone else's ratings is the way to go! Next year they will triumph over everyone else and win your heart!!

[catwire]

this is probably stupid for me to even try to reason with you, but you do know that they agreed with your initial post, right? they were just saying for you to maybe explain the better tags to use on their posts instead of the recovery tags. basically saying, they wanted to take the time in their lives to openly understand you a little bit more so then we would understand that maybe we could do this instead of that and help you out a bit more. this was all they asked for, not for you to harass them and mock them with your ablest ideologies by calling them dumb.

this is what friend meant when he said that you sound like a narcissist and using your ptsd as an excuse to harass others. you're not even listening to us. this was why it just seemed as if you were very close minded and only care about those who have the same mindset as you. it sounds very childish and i hate to say this but as someone who struggled with depression and other mental health issues that i don't want to disclose, you need to grow up and start talking to someone like a therapist.

p.s: if you don't like seeing fanfictions under the recovery tags, just use the filter tags on settings. other than that, there's nothing i could do or say that could help you.

you were stalking my blog waiting for me to mention this again since this happened 5 months ago

never called you dumb, but the fact you think i did says enough

i blocked you, your friends, and your alts because i think you're annoying, the only harassing that happened was you and your friends coming into my ask box repeatedly after the fact

calling me a narcissist while accusing me of being ableist isn't a good look

fanfic in mental health tags in general is stupid, sorry lmao

don't forget your friends threatened to fill them with weird shit (tw rape), which is very normal and not at all weird behavior btw, while also lying and saying i told them to delete posts apparently among many other things that speak for themself

you're a discourse blog L + ratio etc get a fucking life dot com

context

[highlifeboat]

Lmao, imagine Melony being little shit whenever Max going through cramps.

Max, lying in bed: Shit... This is the worst.

Melony: Oh noooo. How awfuuuul... Can't relate at all. Die bitch!

Max tries to vent about all this pain to her but Melony suddenly remembers this is the guy that makes fun of her for being small all the time and generally bullies her.

Max: "This is worse than childbirth. I feel like my appendix fucking exploded."

Melony: "L + ratio + don't care + didn't ask + cry about it + sucks to suck + you're mid + get rekt + touch grass + not funny + suffer + die + get FRICKED loser + God hates you--"

And then when Max is better Mel goes back to being all "QwQ"

Because Max def comes back ready to fight.

[blueberryrock]

I posted 18,076 times in 2022

That's 6,929 more posts than 2021!

534 posts created (3%)

17,542 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-was-once-a-flower

@wizardpotions

@chaoticqueertiefling

@spongebobssquarepants

@hellomisterleaf

I tagged 17,941 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#my reblog - 10,580 posts

#throwin' this in queue - 1,178 posts

#lotr - 1,034 posts

#the hobbit - 751 posts

#silm - 694 posts

#thranduil - 478 posts

#moon knight - 340 posts

#tiktok - 316 posts

#ask game - 275 posts

#important - 214 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#l + ratio + you’re bad at math + your sample size is small + you’re a loser who hates dogs + your results are inaccurate and meaningless

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A Flowery Debate.

A/N before any of y'all fuckin' come at me, i know these ain't peonies nor orchids, but i don't give shit lol

Enjoy the somewhat self-indulgent drabble 🥰💕

Rules, Requests, and More!

"No, no, no, no!" An unfortunately familiar voice cuts through the once peaceful garden. Gritting their teeth as they hear the swathe of living robes himself stomp towards them. What was once a peaceful shift of taking care of the King's personal gardens has now taken a very annoying turn.

"I specifically asked for blue peonies," he says cooly, trying to regain his anger in as he reaches out to touch the bush Y/N was trying to trim.

"I have it written done from weeks ago that you had requested purple flowers," Y/N retorts, snipping an outgrown branch before turning to face their King. "So now you have purple flowers, perfectly matching those hideous orchids you insist on keeping!"

"Hideous!" Thranduil gasps his anger now back in full force. "Do you know how long it took me to get them to grow? How long it took to even find those damned things?"

See the full post

196 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

#4

How long I've waited.

Summary: After a bloody long night, Y/N finally has the pleasure of meeting Jake. This fic is based on this prompt by @budcooper! Go show them some love!

Warnings: blood, like a shit ton of blood and me describing it poorly 😅

A/N well this didn't turn out as expected! I'm not entirely angry about that, but I just hope y'all like it and my characterization of Jake! Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy cuz my next fic i'll post isn't moon knight related, buuuut I do plan on opening my requests soon for my 700 follower celebration! So if you like my writing style be sure to look out for that!

Rules, Requests, and More!

A stifled yawn breaks the stillness of the small apartment. What time is it, Y/N slowly blinks, shutting the book they had been boredly studying closed, Y/N turns their head to search for their phone on Steven's cluttered desk. Blinded by their phone's bright light, Y/N blankly stares at bold numbers reading 3:39 AM.

With a tired groan, Y/N noisily drops their phone back onto their desk before scrubbing their face with their palms. "What's taking you so long Marc?" They whine, their fingers spreading slightly so they can eye down the heavily locked door.

Date the fist of vengeance nobody said, it'd be fun nobody added.

Throwing themselves back into their chair, Y/N crosses their arms above their chest, drumming their fingers against their arm in thought. They had a very demanding job that required them to get up at seven-thirty every day, but they had promised to themselves to always wait for Marc or Steven or anyone else to come back.....much to their dislike of course.

See the full post

340 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#3

Legolas: *gasp* Gimli! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says ooooooo!

Gimli: those are cheerios Legolas

451 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#2

Birthday Surprise.

Summary: with Steven and Marc's 37th birthday today, Y/N has decided to give them a gift they will never forget

Warnings: pregnancy and fluff really, the end might be a little angsty but it's very light, and it's 1.4k words

A/N i don't think i've seen anyone do something like this yet? Or i've just missed those fics lmao, anyways i just wanted some Steven fluff and so i wrote steven fluff! I left this open-ended because i'm thinking of making a part 2? But y'all would have to let me know if you want that. Enjoy!!

Rules, Requests, and More! (Pt. 2)

"You sure Marc doesn't want to blow out candles too?" Y/N questions as she places two colorful candles in the shape of a 3 and 7 in the middle of a round chocolate cake, her eyes landing on the excited Brit sitting in front of the cake. "Cause you could blow out the three and he can get the seven or I can just get mo–"

Steven's soft dark eyes quickly glance at Gus's tank before replying. "Ah no," he begins, his lip twitching into a slight frown. "He says he's not much of a birthday guy anymore."

With a small nod, Y/N makes sure that all the presents are in place while Steven lights his candles. Sliding into an old wooden chair next to him, Y/N smiles softly at him as she says "Happy birthday love!"

After blowing out the candles, they happily dig in. "Wow this is amazing love," Steven hums.

See the full post

570 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My reaction to seeing Luisa for the first time:

2,437 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[korekiyo-unfortunately]

Good morning let's look at some stupid and wrong people

God forbid I love my sister I guess??? We only ever talked to each other, she raised me, obviously I idolized her

Maki sucks, I'd be passive aggressive too

That's called comforting someone

I was talking about her, not myself???

She just meant that I didn't really count as a friend since we were already siblings and partners, it wasn't malicious

I forgive her 🙏 maybe I shouldn't be so torturable lmao

Because that's what my relationship with my sister was like. It wasn't an incest fantasy because I don't care if she's my sister or not

I'm allowed to just be a rapist lmao. Like yeah it was kinda cringe but. This is Danganronpa dude

Again. I am hypersexual

L + ratio + it's called romance. Obviously I'd want to do those things for her if we shared interests and only she was stopped from doing anything about it

Maybe she just deserves lots of friends???

You are making shit up oh my lord. Maybe I get sunburns. I'm canonically underweight, maybe I get cold. Maybe I just feel like it

Die

[ralexsol]

honestly you should've just said something stupid to the L + Ratio thing because they just wanna make you mad really. like ask em if they know what a ratio is don't give em the attention

i would have, but it was a chance to make clear my reasoning for not liking c!quackcicle in a reasonable way! maybe it'll make some people realize why others find the ship distasteful.

in the end, i don't actually care if people ship it lol. it's all fictional, and as long as it doesn't break cc boundaries, we're all in the clear. i think it's silly to assume things about people because they don't share the same hcs as you.

psa: hcs are fine and dandy! but if you start to act like they're actually canon and judge people for not agreeing with them, i think you need to take a step back for a sec and reconsider how you're spending your time.

(also, imagine assuming someone is infantilizing an autistic-coded character because they don't want to ship them with an unwittingly-manipulative, power-hungry bastard lmao)

[victoria1676]

IM BACK WITH MORE CHAT SHENANIGANS

Imagine if Dadza And Mumza Sent a Crows to Reader while she's in SAGAU

Crow: Where the fuck are you

Reader: Hi Dadza...To be Honest...I have no Idea...

Crow: Who's kids are these..they said they know you

Reader: THOSE THREE ARE THERE!????

Chat just screaming: MUMZA MUMZA PHIL PHIL

---

Chat: Tommy Broke your Redstone doors

Reader: HE FUCKING WHAT

---

Crow: Have you tried Eating Sand?

Reader: Wilbur??? Is that you???

Chat: Someone Get Wilbur..He's at it again

---

Chat to everyone who killed you and Bennett, Razor and Diona : Man Y'all Are Shit L+Ratio+You fell off+cope+don't care+didn't ask+stfu+owned+yo mama+ok+u Smell+Bozo+cry about it+triggered+Get real+Get wrecked+stay mad+reported+banned+get a life+hoes mad+ No bitches?+ Maidenless—......

Reader:..... They're not gonna stop *sips drink*

Also Chat: I love you (Reader) <3(Less than three)

---

God I love writing these

THIS LITTERALLY IS WHAT READER'S CHAT IS GONNA BE HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH

LMAOOO TOMMY NOO!! HAHAHAHHA HE GONNA GET THE CHANCLA HAHAHAHAHAHA

FUN FACT: READER LOVES DOING ALOT OF REDSTONE BUILDING AND MAKING NEW IDEAS SO IF TOMMY BROKE ONE OF HER CREATIONS HE IS DOOMED HAHAHA

MAN READER BE HAPPY HER PARENTS SEND THEIR CROWS TO FIND HER AND BRO I CAN SEE HER JUST CRYING TO MUMZA LOL

IF THE BOYS SUCK UP TO PHILL THEN READER SUCKS UP TO MUMZA XD

BUT SHE'LL BE HAPPY TO SEE MUMZA TAKING CARE OF THE POOR SOULS THAT DIED FOR HER TWT

lmao the sheer pause of Reader who look at the crow that has a beanie and be calling Philza about Wilbur eating sands HAHAHAHHA PLEASE THAT STREAM LEGIT MADE ME LOOK LIKE THAT CONFUSED MATH EQUATION MEME HAHAHAHAHA

Ah yes reader definitely sipping her tea while ignoring the Chat insulting and going pissy mode on the acolytes in my story XD

but yes the chat love reader and some actually simp on her which is funny cause Tommy was one of the victims to hear or saw the crows SIMP in his big sis that he had to kill them (unfortunately they survived HAHAHAHAHHA)

[solargeist]

I feel like the collector would be the type to L+ratio someone

oh definitely lmaO, like, "don't care, didn't ask, plus ratio" they say omegalul and pogchamp

[sortagaysortahigh]

White boys pt. 1 | Topper Thornton

Hey guys! So this is based off of this req, and it was inspired by @kiarasgold s JJ x Black reader headcannon! I’m making this into another short series to balance out my angsty series lmao. This part is lowkey kind of filler/backstory but it’s really necessary to the next part!

Warnings: mentions of racism and prejudice, mentions of bullying, underage drinking, drug use (marijuana), cussing, spelling and grammar issues

Word count: 4.5k

Black!Fem!Reader x Topper Thornton

The sun felt great on your skin, laying out on the boat, reading a Zora Neale Hurston novel. 

Growing up you hated your skin, you hated a lot about yourself, because truth be told growing up as a dark skin black girl in the Outer banks was kind of a trip, especially living on the north side of the island. Figure eight was full of affluent white families, if you had to come up with a clear ratio it was about seventy to thirty, and that thirty included black people and people of color. 

That made things a little difficult for your love life-or lack thereof. You had a thing, you didn’t date white boys, everyone knew it. Your father always told you that a white boy couldn’t do much for you, and honestly you believed him, that was two different walks of life, even if you were born into a more-or-so affluent family, your parents struggled to get to where they were now, and even then they still experienced microaggressions and prejudices living in figure eight. 

Your mother had no problem with you choosing to date outside of your race, she just wanted you to be happy, but you were stubborn like your father, and you were his little girl so you always kept to your ‘I don’t date white boys’ policy, turning down tourons, pogues, and kooks alike. You didn’t care if they were rich or not, money didn’t matter to you, you always gave them the same response ‘I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t date white boys’. 

“Y/N! Your mom is calling you” you put the book down, looking over at Sarah, holding your phone up while she walked towards you. You were close to Sarah, you met her in the fifth grade, bonding over the beads on the ends of your braids, she said they were really pretty and that the boys making fun of you were all wrong. Everything's history from there.

You answered the facetime call, your mother smiling back at you. “Did you find a date for the Charity event tonight? Or are you going with Kelce? As usual” you laughed at her tone, you knew she was tired of you showing up places with Kelce as your date just to please your father. You didn’t know many other guys your father would approve of, well minus Pope, but he was going with Kiara. 

“Mama, you know Kelce is my go-to, but he’s already going with someone else, I think I’m just showing up alone, unless of course I can find a very last minute date, but you know how Dad is.” she nodded her head and sighed. “I was just calling to check up on you, I know how the Camerons are on the Druthers, can’t have them corrupting my baby” you laughed at her and Sarah got behind you in the Camera waving at your mom. “Don't worry Mrs. Y/L/N I’d never corrupt y/n” she laughed at Sarah and nodded her head, saying she loved you and to be safe on the boat, you nodded and said it back before hanging up.

You groaned, hands wrapping your soft locs-one of your go to protective styles-into a bun on top of your head. Sarah laughed at you, shoving your legs off the bench and sitting next to you. She knew you needed a date to the charity ball, it was a big deal, your father was being honored for his hefty donations and he was the first black man to be honored in the history of the event, so it was a huge deal. 

“Y’know I know someone who doesn’t have a date...plus he’s just wearing a black suit, he wouldn’t clash with your look for the night” she wiggled her brows and you furrowed yours looking at her, Sarah always tried to set you up with guys, always ignoring your rule. It didn’t help that half of the guys on the island liked to fetishize black girls, which really disgusted you, plus you’d spent most of your time educating them on black culture and why they can’t just use african american vernacular english just because they thought it sounded cool in rap songs. 

You shook your head at her, standing up and walking into the cabin of the boat, taking time to admire yourself in the mirror, and to properly adjust your bright orange bikini. The contrast of the color against your dark skin made you feel like you were the prettiest girl on the island, you struggled with self confidence for a long time, so now being able to admire yourself and love all of you made you smile. Plus your teeth were bright, people usually told you to consider modeling-but that was also because they didn’t know many black girls on the island. 

“Come on, please!! Just give this guy a chance!” you turned to look at her, raising a brow again “is he white?” she sighed and nodded. “Okay c’mon you already know him! He’s a sweetheart-well sometimes, but like he’s not a bad guy! Besides you can’t show up alone, I’m going with John B, Kie’s going with Pope” 

“My dad is going to throw a fit Sarah” she shrugged “it’s one night, and besides he’s definitely the son of one of your father's business partners” you groaned at her and sighed “okay fine. But only because I need a date.” she let out an excited shriek that made you take a step back and shoot her a confused look, but she grabbed your arm, leading you out of the cabin and pulling you to the other side of the deck, where Rafe sat with Kelce and of course Topper. 

“She’s going with you” your mouth dropped when she pointed at Topper, you furrowed your brows then looked at her, then at Rafe who was just as shocked as you were, then you looked at Kelce who shrugged at you, then at Topper who was just staring at you. 

Sure Topper was cute, but he was Topper, the affluent rich boy with a douchebag facade-he was a sweetheart and a total softie in reality-that had been flirting with you since you were kids. You were eighteen now, and he still tried you from time to time, but you always gave him the same generic response as every other white boy that tried to hit on you. The only reason he was somewhat close to you is because you were close to Sarah and Kelce. 

“Sarah are you seri-” she cut you off “Okay great! I’m glad you’re both on board, wow would you look at the time, we have to start getting ready, bye boys! Topper I expect you to be at mine at 7 on the dot” your brows were still furrowed and she dragged you away, sometimes you wondered how Sarah was so strong.

Before you knew it you were in her room, having showered already and adding your hair jewelry into your hair, leaving a few of the shells and wooden beads on a couple of the locs but focusing your attention on adding the small golden rings, cuffs, and wires onto the others. Not too many, just enough to perfectly accessorize your hair. Your mother always told you that a black girl’s hair was one of her superpowers, so you’d always spent more time on perfecting your hair, swooping your edges into place, making sure your protective styles were perfect, perfecting the wash and gos, not to mention your collection of wigs was to die for. 

“Sarah! Hurry up in the bathroom, I need help with my dress!” It was a long bright red satin number, hugged your curves in the best way possible, and it popped against your skin. You watched Sarah run out of the bathroom in a towel and rush over to help zip you up, making you laugh at her. Her phone started to ring so you answered it, knowing it was Kiara. 

“Someone come let me in!” “the doors open kie!” you nodded at Sarah's frantic voice and listened to Kiara struggle to open the front door mumbling under her breath then letting out a sigh of relief. She hung up and made her way up the stairs, walking in to look at the two of you, seeing you almost all the way dressed and Sarah in a towel laying her dress down on the bed. Kiara laughed, her hair and makeup already done, holding her dress bag. 

You knew she wasn’t big on dressing up and going to kook-y events, neither were you, but tonight meant a lot to you, and to her father so she was all in. You started doing your makeup, focusing on applying your golden highlighter to the inner corners of your eyes and the highest points of your face. 

“Sooo, who’s your date?” you grimaced at her, she started changing into her dress and laughed at your reaction. “You’re going dateless?” “It’s even worse than that” Sarah scoffed in the background, finding her blow dryer and plugging it in. You placed your brush down looking at Sarah.

“No Sarah over here somehow suckered me into going with Topper” “But he’s white, and you have that rule-well actually your father has that rule but still, and you’ve been curving Top for like four years now? I dunno seems suspicious, Sarah’s up to something” you shrugged, going back to perfecting your makeup. Listening to Sarah and Kiara talk in the background while you focused on your lashes, making sure everything about you looked perfect. You settled on a half up half down style for your hair, two strands in front of your face. 

By the time Sarah and Kiara were finished getting ready it was five minutes until seven, Pope and John B already arriving. You had to stop Rafe from picking a fight with the two of them while they waited downstairs. Then Sarah insisted the three of you had to walk down the steps, making a grand entrance or introduction or whatever she said. So Sarah went down the stairs first, meeting her boyfriend, then Kiara followed, then Sarah stopped you, yelling at you to wait at the top of the stairs.

Leave it to Sarah to perfectly plan every detail of everything out. Honestly, in the moment while you waited for her cue, you wanted nothing more than to be wearing a baggy t-shirt, some shorts, and a pair of sneakers. You weren’t one for dressing up often, you preferred a more laid back look, either way you knew you looked good. “Okay come down!” you rolled your eyes, making your way down the steps, gaze focused on the steps so you didn’t fall and break something. 

When you finally looked up you noticed Toppers stare, his mouth was slightly open while he looked at you, his eyes glued to your figure, you rolled your eyes. Then you smiled at John B and Pope, doing your signature handshake with Pope. The two of you were close, your father worked closely with Heyward-always making sure to look out for him and his family. 

“As always you clean up nice y/l/n” you smiled at John B “not too bad yourself Routledge” you made your way to Topper, he was still speechless, sure he’d seen you dressed up before, he wasn’t exactly used to it though. You were astounding, a sight to see, he even felt himself blushing while looking at you. You raised a brow at him, waiting for him to say something. Your other friends already bidding their goodbyes, saying they’d see you at the event.

“Can we get some food first? or is that like not the appropriate thing to do before going to a charity ball?” he laughed at you, he felt himself slightly relaxing, truth be told Topper had been pinning after you for years, freshman year at the kook academy was when he tried the hardest, every year after that he tried less and less because you’d always give him the same response ‘I don’t date white boys Top’. At first he was irritated by it, but knowing your family-specifically your father he knew why that was your response.

“You-uh-” he cleared his throat “Yeah, you look beautiful by the way” you shot him a wink “Flattery won’t get you very far Top, now c’mon the key to being fashionably late is planning ahead of time, we have half an hour to get some food” you grabbed his arm and dragged him out behind you. His gaze was still stuck on your figure, tracing your entire body in the red satin. He loved the way bright colors popped against your skin.

Topper had known you for most of his life, the two of you weren’t really friends, you were just always around each other. Kelce was one of your first best friends, who just happened to be Topper’s friend as well, so over the years the two of you were always in the same places at the same time. But you’d always been closed off, you were only super close with Pope, Sarah, Kiara, and Kelce. You had walls up and for years he’d been trying to break them down, he’d always had a thing for you. 

But one thing about you was that you were very adamant and stubborn. He had a crush on you as kids and you shoved him into the dirt when he told you he liked you in the fifth grade. Then in the seventh grade he asked you to be his valentine and you brushed him off. Then freshman year at the kook academy he was determined to woo you somehow. But after years of trying-and failing-it got exhausting.

The guys all knew about his thing for you, Rafe always brought it up around him just to bug the shit out of him, Kelce tried to talk some sense into Topper, telling him to give it up, knowing that you wouldn’t budge. But while you were stubborn so was he. At this point he just needed to prove to himself that he could actually get you, he didn’t want to sleep with you-well he didn’t want to just sleep with you-he wanted to get to know you, he’d known you since you were kids and he barely knew anything about you.

He watched you get into his jeep, sitting in the passenger seat, adjusting your dress and slipping your heels off, he followed and got into the driver's seat, taking his blazer off, tossing it behind him, then turning to face you. “Where do you wanna eat?” you shrugged “I didn’t think this far, usually Sarah says we can’t get food, so we never do. Surprise me thornton” He nodded his head and pulled off.

The two of you ended up at mcdonalds, which made you laugh, mostly because everyone knew you had a soft spot for mcdonalds fries, always stating that they were top tier when they were fresh. You always specified that you wanted them fresh when you ordered, so here the two of you were. Sitting in the McDonalds parking lot, you were eating your fries and he was laughing while eating a chicken sandwich. He made fun of you for asking for the fries to be fresh, and you swatted him slightly. 

“It’s not funny, fuck you!” he laughed nodding his head at you “yes it is, you literally shoved me out of the way to specify in the drive thru that you wanted them fresh. It’s McDonalds-who asks for fresh fries?” you rolled your eyes “Can i ask you a question” “shoot” “Why don’t you date white guys?” you raised a brow at him.

“Personal reasons” “so I can’t get the actual answer?” “Maybe one day” “What does that even mean” you shrugged, eating another fry, making sure not to get anything on your dress. He sighed and nodded his head, something in him sparked the same curiosity he had when the two of you were fourteen, he told himself he’d get to hear the answer, and that he was making it his goal to win your heart. He didn’t even know who he was competing against. 

When the both of you made it to the event you were thirty minutes late, but you knew that. It was all a part of making a statement walking in, unfortunately for you-you were nervous. You knew how your father was going to react with you walking in, arms linked with Topper, you hoped the fact that your father worked with the Thornton’s would help loosen the blow, but that didn’t help how nervous you were feeling. 

He looked at you, the both of you walking towards the entrance of the ballroom. He could tell you were nervous, you kept adjusting the little gold things in your hair and your brows were furrowed. “What’s wrong” you looked over at him, the two of you could hear the generic classical music playing from inside the room, knowing people would be in there dancing, socializing, networking, and staring, They always stared. 

“My dad’s gonna freak out later” he bit his lip looking at you, you were staring at the entrance, fidgeting with one of the marbled acrylics on your fingers. “Why?” “Because I’m here with you-not Pope, or Kelce, or-” “because I’m white?” your eyes went wide and you looked at him “It’s not like that, actually it kind of is, but not in the conventional stereotypical ‘i hate white people’ way, like yea your ancestors were total pieces of shit, and honestly there's a good lot of white people now that are still pieces of shit, but it’s not because of that. Dad just thinks we come from two different walks of life, he’s huge on black love and things like that” 

He nodded his head, he understood where you were coming from and he sighed. “It’s cool, It’s one night, we’re uh-here as friends? If being friends is cool with you” you nodded your head, taking a moment to smooth out his blazer and make sure he looked presentable. “Do my baby hairs look right?” he looked confused, looking at you, blinking a few times “my edges, the swoopy hairs along my hairline Top” “oh, yeah they look good” you nodded and the both of you walked in together.

As usual people were staring, you made a beeline to your father, Topper following, one of his hands around your waist. When you approached your father he smiled at you, his eyes shifted to Topper and his smile dropped but he still nodded his head acknowledging him.

Your mother smiled at the two of you, standing up to hug you both, spending extra time hugging Topper which slightly confused you but you ignored it, sitting next to your father while your mother spoke to Topper, whisking him away from the two of you.

“The Thornton boy?” you sighed at his tone, you knew this was coming, but you knew it would only be worse later. “Yeah, we both needed dates Dad, it’s nothing serious I promise” “y/n, because it’s Topper and it’s only for one night, I’m not upset, but you know how I’ll feel in the long run” you sighed nodding your head at him. “Now go find your friends, they’ve been waiting for you” you laughed at him, giving him a kiss on the cheek then standing up and making your way around the venue, looking for everyone. 

You raised a brow when you found Sarah and Kiara, Pope and John B nowhere to be found. “Where's your lovers?” “Where’s yours” “excuse me?” Kiara pointed across the room, seeing your mother still talking to Topper, the both of them now laughing and you were confused. Turning back to look at your friends. 

“Soo the pogues are having a kegger tonight, and you’re coming!” you shrugged your shoulders at her, what was the worst that would happen, a few drinks, some loud music, kooks, pogues, and tourons all in the same place. 

“No but seriously, why is Topper laughing with your mom, I don’t even laugh that much with your mom and I’ve known her for like ever” you shrugged at Sarah, walking away from your friends towards your mother, but before you could make it to her, a hand pulled you off course and you were about to cuss them out, until Kelce pulled you further away from the crowd, handing you a flask, your first drink of the night. 

However after the charity ball, your first drink turned into your seventh drink and you were now at the Kegger, wearing your orange bikini top and a pair of denim shorts and a pair of sandals. Holding your eighth drink in one hand and a joint in the other while sitting next to Kiara, seeing Sarah grinding on John B in the distance, JJ and Pope playing beer bong. Then on the other side of the boneyard you spotted Kelce with the girl he took to the charity ball, and Topper. Standing awkwardly, holding his drink and looking around.

When your eyes met he gave you a small wave that made you giggle, you waved back and smiled, rolling your eyes in a playful manner.

“Holy shit, you have a thing for Topper!” you turned to look at Kiara, brows furrowed, mouth open. “Excuse me” she took the joint from your hand and smirked at you. “I know that look, besides we all know Topper’s had a thing for you-for like ever. And as much of a douchebag as he is, I think you two are cute” you rolled your eyes at her, shoving her slightly, then taking a sip of your drink, eyes trailing back to see Topper still looking over at you, this time taking a drink. 

You smiled, looking down at your drink now, swirling it around the cup, the liquor in your system making you consider it, but you didn’t date white boys, but there was something about Topper, something that was fun and different. Maybe it was the way the two of you effortlessly joked around and made conversation, or the way he mocked you for ordering fresh fries, or even the way he set his hand on your waist to reassure you that things were okay. 

Kiara pulled you up, making you dance with her, but a few songs in you managed to sneak off, taking the extra joint with you, making your way to your car, you knew you were too drunk to drive, so you climbed into the passenger seat, turning the car on and locking the doors, connecting your phone to the aux, playing one of your favorite playlists. The knock on your window scared you, you felt like you got whiplash from how hard you turned your head. 

When you noticed the blonde you unlocked the doors, watching him climb into the drivers side. You lit the joint and handed it to him after taking a few hits. You laughed at him coughing and rolled your eyes. “Amateur” “well excuse me for not smoking often” “you’re not inhaling right, that’s why you’re coughing you loser” 

“Wow I got the friend title and the loser title all in one day! How exciting is this” you shoved him and snatched the joint from him, taking a few hits, you felt his stare so you blew the smoke into his face. 

“Do your parents know you smoke?” you nodded your head “so you just hotbox your car-all the time?” you nodded again

“It’s not a complex concept Topper, I have a medical card. I have anxiety. Crazy right! After years of being bullied and harassed because of my skintone, and my hair, and my nose, not to mention my lips, I’m now a confident Queen that just so happens to be ridden with anxiety” you shot him a wink taking another hit. 

The two of you sitting and laughing while smoking together. He kept stealing glances at you, he thought you were beautiful, everything people ever said about you was wrong, there was nothing wrong with any of you. You were you, you had a unique look, you always took extra time on your hair, your smile could light up a room. You had your quirks, and you definitely came off like a bitch sometimes-but he knew there was so much more to you. 

“Can you drive me home? I’ll call Kelce to come get you, I know he’s not sleeping around tonight” he rolled his eyes “nah I think I’m fine driving you home and walking back” you scoffed “stop doing that” “doing what?” “being too proud, shut up, I’m gonna tell Kelce to get you.” he sighed, nodding his head and starting the car.

The two of you drove back to figure eight in a comfortable silence, you humming along to the songs playing, texting Kelce, who replied almost immediately with an ‘omw’ when he pulled into your driveway. “He’s on the way” he nodded his head, you were waiting for it to show up before you left him, knowing your father would freak out if you brought him inside. 

He turned to look at you, and he just stared at you, taking time to admire you. You bit your lip, furrowing your brows in confusion “what?” he didn’t say anything before he leaned in, connecting your lips, it was a different feeling, something about it threw you off, but it was a good different. You practically melted into the kiss, feeling his larger hand on the side of your face, pulling you closer to him. His lips were soft, and the kiss was sweet, you smiled into it, his tongue asking for entrance and you granted it. 

But when your phone rang, Kelce’s name and contact picture showed on the screen. You pulled away, biting your lip, pushing him back slightly, seeing Kelce at the bottom of your driveway. His face had a slight flush to it and he looked like he was in a daze. You answered the phone “Uh hey Kelcie” ‘tell loverboy I don't have all night’ you laughed at him and hung up. “He’s waiting for you” Topper nodded his head.

“Oh and one more thing Top, I don’t date white boys” he scoffed, nodding his head, turning off your car, handing you your keys. You took them from him and the both of you got out of the car, you locked it and waved at Kelce, seeing him stick his upper body out of his car and wave back. 

You watched Topper walk down, then went to your front door, going inside, going straight to your room. The only thought on your mind was the fact that Topper Thornton just kissed you, and you kissed him back.

“What the actual fuck”

TAGLIST

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[victoria1676]

hey! sorry for so many notifs but i have some ideas. also you can call me leaf anon

anyways, some ideas for the crows in the imposter SAGAU, what if everytime the reader and the crows see the imposter ruler, chat just starts saying "you fell off," "L + ratio," and other variations of the sorts

also, the reader somehow dies in the most ridiculous way possible, like with Phil and the baby zombie incident, and chat just doesnt let her live it down

anyways, i hope these make sense. i dont know, i just thought these where funny

LMAO it's fine Leaf anon I don't mind getting too much messages or notifications since they are very satisfying to have UwU 💕✨

MANNN LEGIT THE CROW CHAT BE INSULTING AND LEGIT GONNA CIRCLE ABOVE MALLORY SAYING ALOT 'L' ALONG WITH INSULTS THAT ARE VERY VULGUR BUT THEY ALSO BE ATTACKING HER OR POPPING AT HER LOL

READER DOESN'T EVEN CARE IF HER CHAT FOUND SOMEONE TO BULLY SINCE SHE CAN BE FREE FROM HER CHATS BULLY HAHAHHAHAHA

OMGGG BRUHH THE MINI ZOMBIE DEATH INCIDENT WAS LEGIT HILARIOUS BUT ALSO A PAIN KNOWING THE GREAT PHILZA MINECRAFT DIED FROM A MINI ZOMBIE 😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣

IDK WHAT READER WILL DIE FROM SINCE I WILL NEVER LET HER TAKE PHILZA'S BABY ZOMBIE DEATH XD

I'M OPEN ON WHAT SAGAU DSMP READER WILL DIE FROM YOU GUYS XD