#LISP Assignment Help

[aliorsboxostuff]

ANOTHER SELF INDULGENT FIC? YES. I told yall i love fangs SO MUCH AAARGHH and MIGUEL?? HAVING FANGS?? HELLOOOOOO anyhow this is just full of me simping for that beautiful, insane man. Gotta love me a dilf with fangs and claws. Anyhow enjoy this piece yall lmao. I PROMISE ILL GET TO YOUR REQUESTS

Canines

Tags: Miguel O’hara xM!Reader, Miguel O’hara x gn!reader, Spidey!Reader, Lyla, Jessica Drew, Ben Riley, Spider Society, No Smut, Almost ig?, Fluff, He/Him prns for Reader, Reader is a sunshine, Soft!Miguel, Established relationship, This is just me simping for Miguel tbh, gotta love this man, slight sub!Miguel, Kissing, making out, HIS FANG BRO

Even after spending time with Miguel, successfully becoming his boyfriend and getting on his good side, there's the one thing you can get your mind off of; those damn fangs.

—

You and Miguel have been dating for a solid 5 months now. You still remember the day you got introduced to the spider society and met him. Those dark eyes that flash red, tall and broody, sharp talons that scrape against metal, swept back hair that might as well have swept you off your feet. No literally. The first day you went to meet him you tripped on air and fell straight into his arms. 

How did that manage to win his heart? Now that's the real anomaly. 

One thing you can't get over and can't seem to wrap your head around is his fangs. You’ve been told by him it's used to paralyze enemies when needed, and most of the time he forgets it’s there. But in your mind, you keep replaying the times when he talked, or his rare smiles and laughs reserved for only you. How does he eat with it? Did he ever bite himself when he goes on his rants? How does he not have a lisp with how big they are?

When the sharp fangs glints and it sends shivers down your body. Curiosity and arousal clouds you whenever Miguel talks, and it’s honestly distracting at team meetings.

“Hey, you there?” He snaps his fingers in front of you as you blink away the thoughts, realizing a couple of other Spideys in the briefing looking at you with squinted eyes. 

“Oh yeah- Sorry, pre-mission anxiety and all,” You tried to laugh it off, averting from Miguel's worried gaze. He knows you're capable, he knows you're strong, that's the reason why you're always with him on missions, why you're trusted with a team. But those flashing red eyes couldn't help but hesitate each time you leave the base. 

Miguel continues the brief, assigning teams to universes and anomalies. He sends you off with your teams while he leads his. Each team consists of two spideys, if the anomaly is a particularly notorious villain in their respective universes, Miguel would send three. You’re standing next to Jessica, her bike parked just meters from the portal. While the others had already jumped, Miguel stayed behind while Ben jumped first into the portal. The hum of Jessica’s bike startles you and breaks your eyes from staring at Miguel, and she seems to notice.

“Go ahead, go talk to him,” She nods, a small smile on her lips before she rides off into the portal. You sigh, with your boyfriend staying behind, he seems to have the same idea. 

You walk across the metal floor, Miguel standing just near his portal. “So, an easy one today, huh?” 

“Yeah, me and Ben can take care of him, it’s just another Doc Oct,” He checks something on his watch, the orange hologram lighting up. You can't help but notice it gleams against his fangs. 

“Alright, uhm-” You cough, alerting Miguel as he turns to you. “Be safe out there, babe,” 

The way you said those last words, too small for your usual cheerfulness, makes Miguel’s brows furrow. He reaches for your hand, softly holding them. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine! Don't worry baby,” You smirk, patting his arm where he’s still holding your hand. “Stay safe, and come back home, okay?” 

Miguel tilts his head slightly, before his lips quirks, a ghost of a smile. “You too, my love,” 

And with that, Miguel turns and enters his portal, the circle closes as he disappears. You sigh, both relieved and frustrated somehow. You shook your head, trying to dissipate those thoughts, at least for the time being. Glancing at your portal, you take another breath, before running and leaping into it, another day of saving the multiverse.

—

“Okay, what's going on?” You turn to Jessica leaning on her bike, arms crossed and one brow raised. It’s the ‘Spill It’ face you’ve come to love, but also loathe when she uses it on you.

“What’s ‘what’ going on?” Jessica scoffs, tilting her head when your back is still facing her while you twip a web at the Lizard's jaw, the anomaly tied and secured, ready for transport. “Nothings going on,”

She sees you shrug as you turn around, her only response is to nod again, gauging an answer. Her eyes stare deep into you, making you gulp as you aver her sharp, questioning glare. A beat passes, your suit suddenly feels clammier than usual. You tug slightly at the part that hugs your neck, looking down at the street. 

“Okay fine!” You huff, a satisfied smirk from Jessica. “I’ve been thinking about Miguel-”

“That's not new sweetie,” She snickers, making you stumble on your words. 

“I’m- I know but it's not about him… I guess?”

“Go on…”

“Have you-” You huff, crossing your arms. “You’ve seen his fangs, right? Those sharp things,” You point to your own little fangs, which makes Jesicca hum.

“Hard not to,” She shrugs.

“You ever wonder how sharp they are?” You tilt your head, fully turning to Jessica. “Y’know it's pretty big, and pretty sharp, I wonder how he doesn't bite himself with it? Or how he doesn't have a lisp, or maybe he can retract them but then when he talks it’s always out so I don't know if he can do that, we’ve kissed a couple of times but I didn't feel those things-”

“Okay whoa there,” She chuckles, walking towards you. “I get it, cool fangs, you’re curious about them,” 

She places her hands on your shoulders, a grin on her lips. “That's what got you all distracted today?”

“Yeah… Sorry,” 

“Oh don't be kid, I get it,” She nods, before giggling. “Not ‘get it’ get it, but you're in love, and love makes curiosity and wonder, and I get that,” She pats your arms.

“Bring that up with Miguel, would’ya?” She grinned, a mischievous glint behind her goggles. You blink, realizing she has started walking back to her bike. You chuckle, a steady blush spreading on your cheeks.

“Y-yeah, I will,” You smile, shooting out webs to bring the anomaly back while Jasicca rides into the portal first.

—

Once the anomalies are stored in their cells and boxes, Miguel debriefs the others while you were making sure each anomaly is accounted for.

“I think that's all, right Lyla?” You nod to her small figure sitting on your shoulder. She looks at one of her holograms before nodding.

“Yep! All here,” Her holograms disappear as she glitches and changes to your right shoulder. She suddenly leans in, a dangerous smirk on her face. “So that's what’s up huh?”

You groan, flinching your shoulder which makes her hologram change to stand in front of you. “Lyla you know I hate it when you listen in,” 

“Hey I always listen in, y’know I’m online at all times,” She snickers. “Don't worry, your secret is safe with me,” 

You huff, which makes her laugh as you roll your eyes. You glance at Miguel, still talking with the other spideys, those distracting fangs just barely visible between his soft lips. 

“Sooo…” Lyla floats in front of you, again. “You plannin’ on saying anything?” 

She can practically hear the gears in your head turning, before you sigh and remove your mask, adjusting your ruffled hair. “I suggest you stay offline tonight,”

Lyla spots the blooming red that spreads across your face, at which she giggles mischievously. “Okay, whatever you say,” She shrugs before glitching to your right. “I'll just hang out with Margo then,” 

“Yeah, thanks Lyla,” A grateful smile on your lips. Lyla nods before she disappears and leaves you alone. 

Miguel has finally wrapped off the debrief and sent the others to do what they please since today's mission is over. The other spideys wave their farewell to you as they pass, you reply while you walk closer to your boyfriend. Jesica passes you, a sly smirk on her lips, before she pats your shoulder. You give her a small smile before nodding, and she’s on her way.

Miguel’s back is turned, busy with his monitor, wrapping up the day. His head tilts a bit, as he notices you're walking toward him. You pull one of the stray chairs to Miguel's platform and as if instincts, he sat down just as you pushed it behind him. His eyes are still scanning the monitors but he turns slightly towards you as you lean on the consoles. 

“Good job out there Miguel,” You smile, glancing at the screens.

“You too, as always,” His lips quirks, one arm rests on the chair while the other swipes at the screen. “Though I have seen some things we can improve on the teams. I haven't debriefed you yet like the others, so listen to me okay?” 

You nodded, crossing your arms into a more relaxed tone. “Good, so according to team three we need to-” 

And that's the last thing you hear before you turn to look at Miguel, catching that sharp glint of those fangs. Around you, Miguel usually lets his guard down, his way of letting you know he trusts you. So he talks more, his hands punctuate what needs to be punctuated, and those lips move wider. In other circumstances, listening to him would be easy, but with each word he spoke, a peak of those sharp fangs caught your attention instead. Miguel continues to point out the images on the screens, occasionally asking you a question to which you responded with a ‘Uhuh’ or ‘Yeah’. That seemed to satisfy Miguel until—

“-And that's to add the upgrades on your suit, what do you think?” 

“Uhuh,” 

“What?” Miguel retracts, tearing his eye away from the screens. “I asked about your suit?”

A beat passes, before you blink, realizing your boyfriend was staring, and shaking yourself out of the daze. “Huh? What did you ask?”

Miguel sighs, crossing his arms. Sadly those muscles adds another point to the distraction. “Were you even listening to me?” 

He stiffens, watches as you stand in front of him, one arm on the chair's headrest, completely trapping him in. Slowly, your other hand moves up, and settles on his jaw. Throughout the months of dating you, Miguel has never seen this side of you, never seen how bold you could be. Steady hands cup his jaw, your thumb gliding across his lips, before you press slightly. As if a switch is flipped, Miguel inhales sharply and parts his lips, inclining his head when you hold his chin. Your thumb moves over his lower set of fangs, before suddenly followed by your other hand, pushing his mouth open to expose his upper, sharper fangs. His eyes flashes and brows furrows slightly, surprised at the sight of your rapt expression, eyes scanning him.

There's a hint of fondness behind those usually irritated gazes as he looks at you before he sighs and opens his mouth to continue his question before you were overcome with the sudden urge to see. You lean off of the console and approach your boyfriend. “Sorry, Miguel I just have to-”

“Fascinating…” You lean closer, taking pride in the way Miguels is stunned, practically crushing the armrest under his claws. Your index pushes at his upper jaw, letting you get an eyeful of that part of Miguel you’ve been dreaming about. It reflects the blue lights in the room, your eyes widen at it. Your thumb touches its start before gliding down to the pointed end, Miguel pants lightly. How would they feel against my skin?

Your eyes roam up to the prominent blush on Miguel's cheeks, the red in his irises shakes. Slowly, you bring him closer, one hand stays on his chin while the other moves behind his head. His eyes flutter as you press your lips against his, his gasp allows you to slide your tongue inside. Carefully, you trace that sharp fang, making Miguel grunt, his hand suddenly gripped your wrist, pulling apart.

“Don't- It’s dangerous,” He says between pants, the blush coloring his beautiful complexion. 

“Paralysis, right?” You smirk, fingers playing at his curled strands. Miguel shivers then swallows hard. “How about we unwind from today,”

A glint in your eyes, watching as Miguel becomes putty between your hands, his blown-out pupils staring at you in reverence. You smirk, breath ghosting against his lips when you bring him closer again.

“Show me what those fangs do, baby,” 

Reblogs appreciated! Requests are opened! <3

[herotome]

Devlog #144

Hi-ho, Wudge here.

I did so much writing??!?!? Ahhh!

I think it had something to do with giving myself permission (<---easier said than done) to write more exciting scenes out of order. That means action scenes! That means romantic build-up...! Granted they're 'baby's first romance/action scenes' for our MC, because they nonetheless occur quite early on. As a writer I gotta leave myself room to amp the adrenaline up in mid-to-late game scenes.

Some no context peeks - quick disclaimer that none of this is final and may be susceptible to being cut (especially because I wrote out of order):

Warden: "… It was probably that kid's first time pulling a stunt like this. I bet they didn't imagine you'd be there to stop them in their tracks." Warden: "It's good that it was just a kid, too. I don't want you getting into an actual fight without me." Warden: "I mean— if you're assigned under me, I should always be nearby to help, so..." … Is it me, or does he seem a bit flustered by the thought of being near me? Or of me being under him— I suck in a hiss as Warden removes the final thorn [from my hand].

I cough and flap the neck of my top, hoping to diffuse the noxious scent of paint. It doesn't help. Warden: "Uhm— here, hold on—" He shrugs off his jacket and hands it to me. … I can't quite stop myself from gawking at the sight. Warden: "… Was that stupid of me? Maybe this is gross, you don't need to wear my jacket—" I take the jacket from him before he can get too self-conscious. Whether or not I {i}want{/i} to wear it, it'll be better than huffing the spray paint from my own clothes.

Griffin: "Do you trust me?" Player choice: "I do." His eyes seem to flicker, torn between delight and genuine surprise. Griffin: "Really? {i}Wow{/i}. That makes me feel real special, you have no idea." Griffin: "I'm gonna have to trust you right back in return, won't I?"

Griffin: "It's our anniversary. My honey bunny and I just had a splendid meal at the new Michelin-star gastronomic restaurant uptown. Have you been there?" {i}Honey bunny{/i}? If I was trying to maintain a poker face, I'm failing spectacularly at it now. Player choice: "Y—Yeah! All of the gas atomics were… so yummy." (NPC): "… Gas atomics?" Griffin: "My honey bunny has a lisp. I'll kill you if you make fun of [her]."

What else.

I separated last week's driving CG into separate PNGs, and wrote and tested the code to make sure Griffin doesn't show up as... oh, I don't know... a floating pair of eyes?

I also wrote a bit of code to adjust the background height while you're in a car -- you can see a before and after below.

Might have to nudge it back down a bit though.

That's about it?!

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

[messinwitheddie]

If you ever watch the movie *A bugs life* I can’t help but headcanon Lich’s voice as Hopper cuz he’s a bully and a boss man.😅 especially the last scene where the ants finally are fed up with him and face him for being a tyrant that he is.

That's awesome you have a voice you can hear for Lich. I haven't watched a Bugs Life in a long time, but I liked the movie as a little kid. I can see the parallels with the characters.

Originally, when I first came up with the concept of Lich's character (Can’t even remember what I originally named him. Maybe it was the same name. Can’t remember. Wow…

Either way, Lich's original backstory/ role in a fanfic [I won't name because I wrote it in middle school and it was AWFUL], was very different from what it is now. The plot of the fuc was a ripoff of the movie ,“Heavy Metal” so Ronnie James Dio or Alice Cooper were the two voices I usually associated him with. "The Mob Rules" and "The Black Widdow" are Lich's theme songs.

BUT Kevin Spacey's voice fits Lich very well, now that you pointed it out.

He is oozing with Hopper vibes.

If I had an obscene amount of money to spend, I would hire these voice actors/actresses/ singers (resurrect them from the grave if necessary) to play my ocs and/or Characters from Invader Zim that never officially were assigned hired voice actors.

At least most of my Irken ocs have voices picked out.

Pepperoncini: Sir Christopher Lee (?) Earle Hyman (?) Even those two would have to pitch their voices lower and more gravely. Cini's voice, especially in his later years, is very, VERY deep and ravaged by centuries of smoking pipe amber. I guess the contrast in his bright, lighthearted, bubbly personality amuses me.

I can’t think of a voice that perfectly matches the voice Cini has in my head. Any suggestions would be welcome.

I loosely based his personality on Phyllis Diller and Vincent Price, to give an idea of his mannerisms.

Spinch: Martha Kelly (so shy)

Hoola: Eric Bauza (His personality is based on Daffy Duck, though lacking in WB toon antics and the lisp.)

Mem: Bette Midler (first choice), possibly Kathy Bates or Meryl Streep

Some of Mem's swarm I have casted

Handoverfist aka Hof: Eugene Mirman

Ferocity: Betsy Sodaro

Skathe: Jenny Slate

Starboard: John Fiedler

Zee: Jillian Bell

Rook/ the Sage: Originally I imagined John Cleese playing Rook, at least in Rook's older years (because he was based on the Monty Python’s Holy Grail Tim the Enchanter) or Suzy Izzard.

But again, now that you pointed out the parallels, David Foley fits pretty well too.

Miyuki: I'm sure plenty of people would disagree with me, but I think Cher (or at least a younger Cher), Lynne Lipton (again, younger), or Cree Summer would make great choices for Miyuki.

Kii: Can't get Melissa Fahn's voice out of my head for her, but any suggestions are welcome. Maybe Doro Pesch.

Soxx: Percy Rodriguez (would have to bring him back from the dead)

Hitz: Richard Romanus

Spork: Lorenzo Music (I just do)

Commander Poki: Brooke Dillman (I love that woman's voice. Boss as shit.)

Frylady Soo-Garr: Kristin Chenoweth or Grey DeLisle. Either. Either or would pull off her vindictive personality perfectly.

Pielord Emis-Gee: Ron Funches

Brewmaster Shakkin: Christopher McCulloch

Yeet: Hong Chau (so spunky!)

Vroog: Billie Mae Richards or Maria Bamford for a living person to play her.

Irken Gir would be played by Rosearik Rikki Simons, just no synthesizers or anything.

This is not a complete list by far. If you’re curious about any of ocs that I didn’t list, you can ask about or make suggestions.

Hearing the voices helps develop the character for me.

[ronqueesha]

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

Thank you!

Ask me some pride themed OC asks!

I'll answer for some OCs I feel like have interesting answers.

Not long ago, Blizzard made the official statement that Azeroth does not have any institutional bigotry against people for their identity/label/orientation. Maybe some individuals are bigots, but not entire kingdoms or political entities.

Dairon Garrick grew up without ever having to question or second-guess her equal preferences for any gender. While her first romance was in her teenage years with a boy her age, it was not forced on her, nor did she feel strange when that relationship ended and she found companionship with a woman shortly after.

In fact, it was probably a boon in her short time in the Stormwind military. Her first assignment was guarding the food storage in Valiance Keep in Northrend, shortly after the heroes of the Horde and Alliance stopped the Lich King. It was an intensely boring assignment, broken up by rowdy times in the barracks during off hours. Free spirits like Dairon were free to pick whoever she wanted to bed, and she became very well loved by her peers.

Sarit Ramesh grew up very sickly, her lungs permanently scarred by the toxic industrial air that filled the underground environment her impoverished family lived in. Because of that, she spent most of her youth bedridden, with an old second-hand 'Net terminal as her only window to the outside world.

All those years spent browsing the 'net gave Sarit unprecedented access to information she might otherwise never have had. As she got older, a lot of confusing questions and strange feelings became crystal clear. Soon, the sick young boy sitting in a dirty bed realized that there were things he could change about himself. To be the person she always knew she really was.

It took time, and her parents could only support Sarit's transition so much because of their immense poverty. But as she grew older and established herself, Sarit was able to use the early lessons she discovered while stuck coughing up blood in bed, and become the woman she always was.

Iona's story of discovering herself is a bit sad.

She grew up in an orphanage, having been literally dumped on the doorstep in her infancy. Her youth was spent being mocked and ostracized by her fellow orphans and even some of the orphanage caretakers. Her deathly pale skin, her fangs, and especially her lisp because of those fangs were things she was constantly harassed and bullied over.

She was 13 when she first ran away from the orphanage, and quickly realized she needed to make money if she was to survive. And at that decidedly uncomfortable young age, she took an older man into an alley and earned her first ever coin. Iona did not feel disgusted or exploited, instead she felt rich and powerful. And she quickly realized she was fine with anyone, regardless of their identity, age, or preference, so long as they paid her.

When she got older, Iona learned her unusually vampiric features were the result of being a dhampir. And that because of that, she could expect to live for 1000 years or more. This caused an icy pit of dread to drill itself deep into her heart, and Iona has been running from this eternal burden ever since. She threw herself even harder into sex work, drugs and multiple vices just to ease the pain of an unnatural half-dead lifespan. It helps that she has very few limits or preferences, which means she can constantly dull the pain through endless new experiences.

[coffyao]

if brown leaves could be saved

Summary:

_______ an alternate universe where a young seungbae is transferred to yoonbum's high school for unknown reasons. and from there, do they start getting to know each other, but not without the emotions that start to rise, and the loneliness that they realise they might have in common in.

link to my A03:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52761079/chapters/133446979

“Introduce yourself to the class.”

He took the piece of chalk from the teacher's desk and started writing down his name on the chalkboard.

Once he finished, he moved away to the side and straightened his posture, his hands clamped a little too tightly, and his pupils, darting everywhere except for the classroom that was right in front of him.

His perfectionist ways were obvious, as his pens were neatly tucked away in his blazer pocket, and his school tie was perfectly aligned.

But the braces that poke through his teeth, and the glasses that he wore along with it was a dead giveaway that he was a square.

But when he finally spoke up, his voice had erased any pre-conceived notion that was thought of him, the sincerity in him truly shining through.

 “My name is Yang Seungbae.”

Yang Seungbae.

He was then allocated to a seat with another student at the front, a seat befitting for someone like him. He was most likely someone studious and did his homework as soon as it was assigned.

Yoonbum laid his head on the desk and tuned himself out to the rest of the class.

________________

Once he woke up, the class was mostly sparse, where the usual dim sunlight poked through his heavy eyelids and his chest aroused with existential dread.

He quickly gathered the workbooks on his desk and shoved them into his backpack, leaving the classroom altogether and going somewhere where he could peacefully stew in his thoughts.

He goes into the library, the middle-ground location that was a bore for the popular cliques; but a hotspot for people who aspired to be someone one day.

But he was neither.

He didn’t how to talk to people, and he had no clue what kind of person he wanted to be.

He just liked the library because of the quietude within it, along with having a good number of books that provided a distraction for his fractured mind.

But it also helped his reputation, because at least his classmates could chalk up his antisocial tendencies to being a pompous bookworm, rather than being a useless outcast.

He walked into one of the aisles at the end, where most of its shelves contained fiction books, but he had only one genre in mind and one only.

A tragic romance.

When he picked up Anna Karenina a few months ago, a decision made on a whim, he fell in love with the book's heroine, and her morally questionable decisions.

But once he managed to finish it, he couldn’t shake off the emptiness that started to consume his heart once again, so he had to fill the void.

He started pulling out a few books at once, flicking through a few pages of them before putting them back, dissatisfaction running through his mind.

However, he decided to continue his search diligently, gathering a handful before sitting down on the floor and crossing his legs.

As he started going through the books again, his hyper-focus was pulled away by a voice with a prominent lisp.

“…sorry to bother you.”

Looking up, Yoonbum recognized him, his lambent eyes piercing through his own and needlessly apologetic in his tone, even with the flustered look on his face.

its Seungbae again.

“I’m looking for a book on law enforcement…but I can’t find it here for some reason.”

Yoonbum puts his books to the side.

“Why didn’t you ask the librarian?”

Seungbae looked down, stuffing his hands inside his blazer pockets.

“I wanted to find it myself.”

…That’s silly.

Yoonbum stands up and points his finger toward the far-left side, his least favorite part of the library but likely had the book Seungbae needed.

“If you go there, that’s where they keep the non-fiction section.”

He needed to quickly go back to book-searching. This was taking too much of his time.

“Ah damn, I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even think to look there.”

Seungbae then held out his hand, the relief on his face apparent by the grin on his face, radiant and yet another indicator that he is everything that Yoonbum isn’t.

Yoonbum tentatively puts his hand on his, and Seungbae gives it one strong shake.

“Thank you.”

Seungbae walks past and then suddenly stops, his eyes once again focused on him.

“…I’m new by the way. you’re in my class, right? What’s your name?”

Yoonbum hated this question because once it was asked, it would mean he and the other person would form some type of relationship. It also meant there was a potential they would become close, but it would come at the expense of hiding the worst parts of himself.

“…it's y-yoonbum.”

And that includes his desire to want to keep them for himself.

[shatteredages]

What is one thing about each Link that you want to share, and can share, that you haven't already shared? (This is an ask for you to go crazy on if you want to because I love reading about the Links.)

Oh, wow. The first ask. Thank you for taking an interest. Anyway, let's see. Frankly, with some of those characters I'm still working things out. But I also don't want to leave them out. So, some of those little tidbits I'm coming up with right now on the spot.

Links

Étoile (SkSw): He actually has a slightly crooked nose, due to it being repeatedly broken on his adventure. (going splat on the ground, Octoroks, boulder throwing Bokos, Boulder dropping birds...)

Echo (OoT, MM): Has a barely noticeable lisp. It used to be a lot stronger though. Moth Malon and Oracle have made a lot of lighthearted fun of him.

Casco (TP): Ironically, he has a dog-hair allergy. It took him forever to figure that out.

Malba (ALbW, TFH): Does not like children. Still gets assigned babysitter duty the most out of all of them.

Fae (LoZ, AoL): Illiterate. He was raised by fairies.

Aihe (WW, PH): When he's grown up, he actually becomes the closest thing to a ship's doctor, Tetra's crew has. He was originally supposed to become a navigator. But Tetra didn't like him doodling on the maps all the time.

Hybris (HW): Completely and absolutely tone deaf.

Revenant (BotW): After defeating Calamity G, he just wanted to give Rana some good experiences. So one of the first things they did together, was attending a certain wedding.

Fangi (Pre SkSw): Keeps a single link of the chains he had been tied up with in prison. It's some kind of morbid "good luck" charm. No one understands why.

Gabha (MC): Has a lot more scars from his work as blacksmith than his adventure. As grumpy and condescending as Ezlo might have been at times, he was still a very good babysitter. (also I think I'm gonna retcon him being small. Him actually being tall and buff would be a fun contrast to the whole shrinking thing)

And I know that wasn't really asked, but might as well.

Zeldas

Soleil (SkSw): With Fi gone, Skipper won't lift a single finger for Étoile anymore. So now he's part of Sol's arsenal instead. (he just can't say no to a pretty lady.)

Aurora (AoL): Can't remember all that much of her coma dreams. Only some key moments and vague impressions. And a bunch of irrational fears that don't make sense to her, and that she didn't have before.

Tetra (WW, PH): She has the most high pitched and quiet, downright dainty, sneeze you can possibly imagine. She hates it.

Rana (BotW): Her first encounter with a Lynel was neither on purpose, nor did it go well.

Cailleach (MC): Zeffa has taken a strong liking to her. As soon as she steps out of the castle, you can be sure that bird is there. And if she finds herself unable to return on her own, Zeffa is always there to help. Even though she'll never understand how that tiny bird is able to carry her.

Zori (LoZ): When Ganon captured her, she did not just sit around, waiting for a hero to show up. She repeatedly broke out and wrought hell on Ganon and his minions. And she has the scars to show for it. That wall of fire you find her behind at the end of the game? That was a last ditch effort to just keep her in place for once.

[programminghomeworkhelp-blog]

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[artdivadej]

Survivor’s Remorse (V)

Part 5

NSFW | 18+ | PTSD| Torture

Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

I'd been sent to join the Victors Squad in the Capitol by Coin, not that the witch gave me much choice. It was obvious that she liked Peeta and despised me but wasn't sure he'd back her if it came to a vote of who to run a new Panem. I was the clear solution to that. Send the hijacked psycho to take him out because she can't control herself while so close to her torture chambers. The woman thought I was stupid but I didn't care. Anything to get some sun on my skin. Anything to breathe fresh air and get out of that fishbowl of a room I'd been locked in. 

When I'd been shoved out the back of the Humvee, I'd rolled onto the ground none too gently, but I was used to this type of treatment. I propel myself upwards using my bound hands beneath me, legs sliding out behind me in my usual protective crouch, right leg extended and left bent to my chest, hissing at the asshole who pushed me.

"You've gotta take her mouth guard off too Keil" Ryan sighs looking at him with annoyance

"I'm not going by that bitch's mouth. Let her new perfect Victors Squad take care of it" Keil snorts attempting to climb back in only for Ryan to block his path

"She's got a name. And she saved our asses. Twice. Show her some respect"

Keil looks like he'd love nothing more than to kick me again but he does eventually come closer and kneels in front of me, his curled lip conveying his distaste for me. I wish Ryan had been around for the first leg of this journey. Maybe Keil wouldn't have kicked me around so much if he had.

"If you bite me" he warns

"I doubt you'd taste any good" I snort, lisping around the mouth guard

"Pfft. Open your mouth"

I comply, having to fight the urge to gag when he roughly shoves the metal bar between my jaws, smirking at my look of disdain. I fight the urge to flinch, not wanting to be slammed onto my back again, as his hand comes towards my face. When he clicks them off, Keil holds them between his index finger and thumb with a grimace. I spit the bar out and flex my jaw, rolling my tongue over my teeth happily. I don't care how gross my saliva is to him I'm just happy to have control of my mouth again. He turns me around aggressively and shoves it into my bag before yanking me to my feet by my backpack strap. He and Ryan are behind me as we walk towards a large awning about a thousand feet ahead.

Then I see them and the blood in my veins freeze just like they do.

Katniss raises her bow, Gale his crossbow and the rest, their guns. Only Finnick remains leaning against one of the posts, appearing at ease while watching me with amusement. It's Peeta's eyes I find next and it makes my blood run cold. The realization slaps me in the face when I see there's not a weapon in his hands either and it's clear he's struggling not to come over to us. Coin really sent me here to die huh? No reason not to give the woman what she wanted I suppose. Who even was I really? No one of real importance now that my purpose had been served.

I hold up my cuffed hands as a sign of peace. Boggs comes over demanding to know what's happening. Keil shoves me forward with the butt of his gun so that I stumble toward them and I have to resist the urge to snap my jaws at him. This is humiliating enough. I don't need his fucking help in making it worse.

"Your problem now. Coins orders" he sighs happy to be rid of me

Should've let that fuckin pod kill him 2 days ago is what I should have done. Boggs assigns me a tent, telling me to set it up while he goes to confirm the order. Unlike Keil, his tone is soft like he's actually speaking to a person. Thankfully Keil and Ryan take their leave but I feel everyone's eyes on me, their weapons lowered but still in hand. Clearly, I'm not too well liked anywhere.

I move over to the outskirts of their tent circle and start trying to build mine off to the side of it. I'm aware no one will want to sleep near me. It's not personal. I'm just a fuckin wild nutcase and they're soldiers meant to be ready for anything. As the rope falls between my shackled nails again, I huff in frustration, knowing this was going to take most of the day.

I'm still sitting off the to the side fumbling with my tent around my cuffs clumsily when I hear a crunch behind me. My eyes sweep up fast as I slide my leg around in a circle out behind me so I'm back in my defensive crouch. They land on a smiling Finnick, his blue-green eyes twinkling happily, unlike everyone else's that only watched me with distrust and fear. I quickly relax and smile back at him, genuinely pleased to see him. Finnick was used to psychotic people, there was no judgement in his eyes as he knelt beside me, wordlessly helping me with my knots.

"Thanks Finn" I sigh once it's all set up not noticing his smile at my slip of the familiar nickname

"My pleasure. How you settling in?"

"Aside from everyone here wanting to slit my throat the moment I close my eyes? Peachy" I roll my eyes

"That's not true"

"Of course it is. Coin clearly has an agenda sending me here. I don't expect to make it back to 13" I shrug honestly "I'm fully aware this is the last stop on my Victors Tour"

I feel the traitorous tears burn the backs of my eyes; my throat raw as I shake my head to clear it. I feel resentment and self-loathing well in my chest. It pisses me off. I bite down on the core of my restraints giving a tentative suck. Finnick watches me curiously for a moment, allowing me to release it undisturbed. My body slumps a little against his, head lolling heavily on his shoulder. I can't help it. The sedative is quick acting, not as potent as it used to be, thankfully. I don't care that my sudden chomp has startled everyone or that I can feel them watching me warily because I'm so close to Finnick's neck. Finnick appears to be truly unbothered by my proximity or my antics.

"Like it's my fault I'm mind fucked" I hiss under my breath

"I have no plans of you dying as long as there's breath in my body"

"Thanks Finn but I'd rather you stick around for lil red. Wasn't exactly a cake walk bringing her to you"

"I hear you did a lot more than just protect her"

"Doesn't matter." I shrug

At least I made sure that someone walked away from this knowing and understanding what love is. Who they were. Knowing that when they need to break, they actually have the pieces to put themselves back together again. That was enough.

"It does to me" he shakes his head, leaning his cheek against the top of my hair

"Just be good to her. I tried too damn hard to bring her back to you in one piece for you not to"

"It's a promise"

I'm sleepy but I can't relax with all these eyes on me. I need a distraction.

Finnick taps at my cuffs curiously, so I lift them high for him to see. Beetee has made this set another pretty shade of blue to match the collar on my neck and the mouthguard now in my tent. My nails are covered because it'd been two weeks since I'd been around Prim to have them cut so they were sharp again.

"Doesn't it hurt you to bite these?"

"No. Beetee has put a sedative in them for me, right here" I drop my wrists so the cuff's center sits in his palm

It's fatter at the center with two matching holes on either side a soft orange, they glowed in the center.

"For when I feel myself losing control. After...I lost it at breakfast with you guys. He made me a new mouth guard too"

"I wouldn't call you attempting to air dirty laundry, losing it" Finnick chuckles handing me a sugar cube "It'll help wake you up a little"

One day I'd find out where he kept those stored.

"You weren't there...after. Totally lost my shit after I remembered some stuff about the Training Center. Johanna had to knock me out"

   ***

Haymitch interrupts at this. He'd come in after the fact but had never been told just what had set me off. He never pried. Always let me tell him things on my own time and the way I wanted. Another thing I genuinely love about my adopted father.

"What happened at breakfast? You never did tell me"

Peeta is shaking his head against the top of mine but he doesn't stiffen the way he did then. We've talked about this. Haymitch and I haven't. I take a deep breath and start in on that one. Might as well get some of the trackerjacker enhanced mutt version of me's memories out now before they threatened to smother me at the Capitol. Because I was going. I'll be damned if I spend that amount of time away from Peeta and they both knew it.

"I was cruel to everyone that day" I admit honestly shaking my head with shame "Most especially Peeta. I wanted him to hurt the way I was...even though I didn't understand it at the time. Still shattered beyond repair"

    ***

I was fucking starving and sick of waiting for Prim to go get some food. They'd finally actually had to adjust my food to meet my carnivorous needs and I was ravenous. I'd been allowed to walk around my room unrestrained and even get some sketching done this morning to test my motor reflexes further. They took my pencil immediately afterwards though. Prim was unusually late today, must have been put back in the rotation this week.

Yeah, screw this I'm starved.

I threw my pillow at the glass and demanded my shock collar so I could get some god damn food. It was still early hours so I was usually permitted to eat there with Prim because there were so few people there, already out for whatever work detail they were on that day.

Within 10 minutes two familiar soldiers came in. They knew better than to have my watch be men. They learned that lesson quick when I would tuck myself into places they could never hope to fit or reach. I'm much too wily and quick for their bulky bodies. These particular women were used to me and I liked that they didn't look at me like everyone else that was forced to watch me did. There was no pity in their eyes and they were genuine in trying to understand me.

The blonde was Flira. She didn't talk much but was the reason I'd been able to get my collars crafted by Beetee. She listened to me when I'd been a screaming lunatic those first couple weeks. It was clear I still trusted some people irrevocably. Beetee was on that very short list. Apparently Flira was a pretty high-ranking officer so she spent a bit of time with him for weaponry. Why she enjoyed spending time babysitting me was beyond my realm of reasoning. She'd attempted to put in a favor but he claimed I'd saved his life. Quite the opposite in fact, but I appreciated the sentiment all the same.

Now, since the last problems were my hands and teeth, a small jolt of electricity or a shot of morphling could stop that in a second. Much better than getting knocked unconscious with a baton again. I was grateful for them. They were pretty and functional without making me feel like the wild fox they'd wickedly dubbed me at the Training Center. Much thanks Beetee. A girls gotta have something pretty even if she was a monster mutt now.

In the red head Juni's hand was my collar and mouth guard.

Ok I hated the mouth guard. The way they'd strap me down to put it in always gave me flashbacks to my torment. It made me feel like less of a person to them too. Just some caged wild animal. I already had to wear the collar, was the muzzle fuckin necessary for breakfast?

I didn't realize I'd said this all aloud until they exchanged a bored glance between them before passing it back to a nurse who'd been nervously waiting at the door for me to be restrained. I shoot Juni a grateful smile and hold my hands out for my special restraints. My nails had been modified to always grow in a stiletto shape but Prim kept them rounded and short so I didn't have to wear the nail guards much. Today Juni leaves them off as she clips my adjustable restraints into place at my wrists.

Today's looking up! Gotta keep up the docile thing so it can stay that way. Lifting my chin obediently, I allow Flira to brush the hair from my neck as she secures the collar in place.

This one is a beautiful shade of blue that makes my head heart thinking about why I like it so much. Beeta making my restraints really makes me happy. They're personal, he cares that anything made for you is for you. I wish I could see how he was doing. Maybe if I behave today, I can ask? Pfft yeah right. He was important. I really wasn't.

I do hope I get to catch a glimpse of Johanna. I haven't gotten to talk to her in a while. I need to see her alright with my own eyes. Hopefully they were treating her right. I didn't want her caged and hurting like me. She'd had too much of it for my liking as it was. She was a bird that needed to be free in the trees, like Rue. They just flew through leaves as if they had wings, weightless and filled with sweet air. To think of her trapped in a white room like this, a two-way mirror for people to gawk and laugh at your misery. No, I wanted sun on her skin. It clicks that I have my bargaining chip. I have something I want from Coin now. Now we can negotiate.

"Ok, ok, ok I'm all cuffed up can we go? I'm starving!" I moan shaking my wrists back and forth as I bounce on the balls of my socked feet excitedly

"You have got to wear pants today." Flira sighs pinching the bridge of her nose as Juni takes the sedative shots from the nurse and shoos her skittish presence away. They always irritate her and this pleases me.

I'm not too keen on clothing but since I rarely get to leave my cage, it's not really that much of a problem. I wrinkle my nose but snatch up a pair of 13's ugly pants I'd shredded into shorts.

"No. Coin will kill you"

I snort and pull them up my legs, admiring how they make my fattening ass look.

"Not if she wants her precious mutt to cooperate" I sing throwing her an impish grin over my shoulder.

They roll their eyes at me but resign to let me stay shoeless and hurry me to the cafeteria, probably hoping we can get this over with quickly before their caught being so nice to me. I don't know why they risk it but I like that they were willing to get in trouble just to give me back some simple freedoms sometimes. Luckily for them it's practically empty but I don't really peruse the area. Not important right now. The smell of meat smacks me in the face making my mouth water instantly. Flashing my bracelet when the cook comes out, I practically drool at the meal he drops in front of me a minute later. 1 full turkey leg, a chicken thigh, and some beef soup that I can see vegetables floating in. My nose wrinkles at this. There's a cup of fruit that also makes me visibly gag.

Maybe I'll be able to convince Juni or Flirn to eat them? Food is too precious in 12 to waste but in 13 its practically a war crime. I wish they'd just stop giving them to me for a while. I take my cup and then seek out an empty table just happy to have my fill of meat.

Then I hear a booming, hearty laugh that makes my heart pound and my muscles constrict as if I'd been ensnared by a vicious anaconda. I know that laugh. Then, I see them.

It's the mutt sitting to the left of Katniss with Gale at her right. Finnick Odair is beside Gale, Annie tucked into his side, smiling adorably at whatever he's whispering in her ear. My eyes lock onto the cozy trio that Is the mutt, Katniss and Gale. His arm brushes hers occasionally as they speak to one another and I feel a thick disgusting jealousy welling in my throat that burns me to the core.

I don't know why I care so much but it pisses me off.

The bench of their table closest to me is full of heads I recognize too. Yulin on the end is sitting beside Delly, both District 12 residents. It's with a giddiness starting in my belly that fills me up with pure joy when I find exactly who I wanted to see beside Delly,

"Jojo!" I call out excitedly

Her head whips up as she drops the spoon in her hand, her growing curls make me grin as they bounce around her whipping face. It's Peeta who looks up first, seeing Johanna respond to a name that was most definitely not hers. When his eyes lock on mine I feel fear, hatred, jealousy and....longing well in my chest as his face frantically searches mine. It's Katniss' hand on his shoulder, trying to see what's got his attention that drives my feet forward. When Johanna turns around, I'm grinning wickedly down at her.

"I see they let you out your cage for once" she beams back

"For a little while. I can't sit without your permission though" I explain tilting my head behind me where I know Flirn and Juni will most definitely be hovering.

"Are those shorts?" she cackles

"No one was supposed to be here" I shrug, privately enjoying the way everyone's eyes roam up my exposed thighs, littered with fading bruises and wounds from my imprisonment.

I like that I can feel all of their terrified and confused eyes on us while we pay them no mind. All these scars? I earned every single one of them to protect all of their precious people. So... Fuck them.

Everyone else was all the things in this moment that I'd been for over 6 months.

Irrelevant. Discardable.

"Sit. Sit" Johanna pats the seat excitably and I plop down happily.

Flirn and Juni relax and give me a nice berth of space. I've talked to them a bit about my imprisonment time with Johanna. They know she can subdue me, if necessary and that I would welcome her over anyone else knocking me senseless. Or Primrose. But she's not available today.

I sweep my eyes up the table where Annie sits, openly staring at me with those wide jade green eyes, that seemed much clearer today. Good. She's finding her way with Finnick as her sound minded compass.

"Hey lil red" I grin, pleased to see her still unharmed. "You're lookin good"

"I am. Thank you for that. How are you?", she nods softly with a smile

This startles everyone at the table as they look back and forth between us.

"Meh so so. Best place I've been strapped down in thus far though" I laugh

Johanna snickers beside me and I'm pleased to see she's reaching for my fruit cup. After she dumps it into hers, I bump my forehead to her temple in thanks. She knocks back and I smile to myself. Jo knows I can't stand the sight of vegetables right now and she needs the fattening up anyway.

When I look up and a little to my right it's to lock eyes with Peeta. I'd wanted him to feel like I didn't care he was in close enough range to wring my neck with those big old paws of his or that I was truly terrified of him. I didn't want him to know that seeing him cuddled up with this girl made me want to rip my heart out and throw it at his feet.

I'm angry and I shouldn't be. I don't like this boy. Right? I don't want him. Right?

RIGHT?!

I look back at my food and pull another large hunk of meat of my turkey leg up with my nails, (I hate silverware) and can feel everyone's eyes on me, but it only makes me angrier. They want a show I'll fucking give them one.

"That's a lot of meat" Delly inserts quirking her brow at me inquisitively.

"Gotta catch up. They didn't exactly give us much to snack on when they were shocking our wet bodies with cattle prods" I explain in a bored tone as Johanna snorts next to me.

Annie flinches at the end of the table but I don't pay it any mind. She was fine. Safe and unharmed. I took great lengths and many an unwelcome touch to see to that. You're fuckin welcome Odair.

"But why meat?"

"All they gave me were vegetables the entire time I was there. The only protein was an egg a week. I need more protein than most" I explain to her genuine curiosity, seeing no harm in being nice to this doe eyed girl who honestly meant me none.

"Why?" Gales asks curiously, his stormy dark grey eyes looking me over like a science experiment

For fucks sake I'm wearing a collar. Does it need more explanation? I quirk a brow at him and pull my top lip back from my left canine since it was closest to his range of vision, fattening it a bit before tapping it twice. I hear everyone's gasps of surprise seeing I can change their size at will but I don't speak on it further. It's the only explanation I care to offer at the moment. I can feel them burning with questions but they dare not ask.

I dip my meat in the soup, making a spectacle of it as they all continue to watch me. A strange sideshow to their normally quaint mornings being all coupled up and fucking happy. Picture perfect fuckin families. Something that mind fucked little ole me wasn't supposed to live to see.

"So" I start, wanting to wound them the way they were me

My eyes sweep up to hold the mutt in my gaze, he's spell bound as I suck the soaked meat from my fingers and between my lips with a loud pop. I lick and suck the juices from my lips torturously slow and see that I have the rapt attention of every male at the table. Hmmm. Interesting. Even as a wild animal I was still desirable to them. Funny.

I rip off another large piece of meat and repeat this process. I hadn't had this much meat in so long. I was doing it just as much for them as I was for me.

"I see that you three figured out the poly dynamic to your re-lation-ship" I grin wickedly gesturing the meat between Gale, Katniss and Peeta before slurping it between my lips again, making sure to draw out the 'ship' when I pop my lips playfully.

As Katniss goes red in the face, sputtering for a response I lock my eyes with Peeta again, who looks as if I'd slapped him and he was trying to decide whether to hit me back. My fingers twitch as I try to control myself. I want to lunge for him before he can me but I decide to push further. Johanna snorts next to me trying to hide her amusement at my unhinged behavior. I bring what's remaining of the turkey leg up to my mouth to show them something I'd learned I could do with this new set of teeth and jaws the Capitol forced on me after my first games.

"So, Katniss" I hiss her name like a vicious snake. "Which ones better in the sack?"

Delly squeaks something about privacy and misunderstandings but I'm not looking at her. I'm looking right at Peeta, who's eyes have hardened. He genuinely looks wounded. Good. I hope she says Gale.

"Cuz if memory serves me right Mellark, you're quite a fun ride. And taste just. Like. Honey" I purr

Before he can retort I stick the entire leg in my mouth, clamp my teeth down and suck hard, my cheeks dipping so you can see my tongue hitting them as I swirl it around the leg. I pull it out painfully slowly and everyone's eyes widen. I've stripped it of every shred of meat on it, the tip of the bone leaving my full lips with a loud pop as I look him dead in his eyes and swallow. No need to chew if I don't want to honestly. I pop my lips with satisfaction and suck on the tip of the bone. Katniss looks like she'd love nothing more than to drive her fork through my face and I use this as satisfying fuel for my rage.

Serves you right. I volunteered for you and kept your precious mutt safe because he's so fuckin in love with you.

"I bet it's Gale and he's aggressive" Johanna whispers lowly in my ear so no one but me can hear

"How about it pretty boy? Is it you? I bet you're pretty demanding though" I tilt my head as I suck on the tip of my bone thoughtfully, rolling my tongue over the cartilage remaining at the tips. Gale's eyes are still on my lips and I taunt him further, beginning to suck it thoughtfully. "Hmmm might just need to test it out myself. Not like you were ever shy about handing out those kisses of yours back in 12 though, were ya?"

Gale flushes as many of the eyes at the table now sweep up to him.

"My bad about kickin you in the sack last time you tried though. I won't do that if you try to kiss me again" I purr dropping my bone and tipping my soup up to my lips, taking a sip. I drop it immediately when I smell carrots at my nose my entire taunting game discarded until I get them away from me.

I rapidly scoop them out into the empty fruit cup I had and hurriedly drop them on Johanna's plate. She dumps them in her soup happily, still watching our exchange.

I'm just getting fucking started.

"I mean. You obviously don't mind sharing?" I flick my eyes to Katniss and back again to Gale

"What makes you think you and Peeta have?" she sneers trying and succeeding to wound me, though I'll never let her know that.

I smirk, my canines on full display and this makes her pull herself back an inch or so protectively. I take a bite out of my chicken thigh and lick my fingers as if her question bores me. Just as I move to say what I want, Prim sits beside Peeta, who now has to slide directly in front of me.

I can't avoid his deep honey gaze any longer and I feel my veins thrum in warning. I don't want to be malicious with Primrose here. But now I feel I've gone to a point where I need to see this through. I genuinely need these answers for some psychotic reason. My foot rests between both of Peeta's under the table and a horrid idea comes to mind.

Let's see if I'm provoked.

With a tap to my temple, I simper at Peeta, biting my lip while gazing at him longingly beneath the lashes of my hooded eyes, feigning a desire that I genuinely felt licking the back of my consciousness.

"Hijacked or not, I've got quite a few nights on the train up here. And hmmmm...If memory serves, Mellark's fuckin hung" I sigh dreamily

He's about to get up, something in his expression tickles a memory of his mannerisms. I see it in the set of his jaw and the sadness in the tightening of his eyes. I stop him cold with my next action. My socked foot is now on his groin. I'd noticed he'd anxiously scooted to the edge of his seat while he'd watched me eat, his hands now palming the table with veins popping across the surface. His body is frozen solid. Good.

"And very, very vocal. Though not very nice in what he's saying" I sigh rubbing my foot tenderly against him back and forth, feeling a sense of triumph when he grows beneath my ministrations. This sickens me that I revel in his heat being directed at me this way. "Likes to let you take control so he can watch you too"

Desire sparks within me at his expressions. This mutt who wants me dead. The hell is wrong with me?

Katniss hisses and stomps away from the table, fed up with my shit.

"Then again" I sigh with fervor sweeping my eyes down to Finnick, who is watching me with something akin to utter disbelief but...humor rests on his lips "I do believe you owe me Annie"

Her head snaps to me and now Finnick is really lost.

"I bet you're the best at this table Odair. And seeing as how your pretty little wife does owe me my pound of flesh..." I moan the end of my sentence, just to goad them too.

I'm lashing out at everyone now.

I find Peeta's tip and squeeze, wrapping my toes around it, feeling his hips shift as he tries to control his reaction. I like this. Why? His plump lips part as he pants lowly, his hands are under the table on his thighs now. He could move my foot easily if he wanted but he doesn't recoil from my touch or move to toss my foot away.

This confuses me. I feel a crack in my mind but I don't have time to focus on that.

"What do you mean?" Finnick asks

"Oh, you didn't know?" Johanna pipes in always happy to traumatize people with Our 'Torture Tales' as we liked to call them. "She convinced them in less than a day that Annie would be of no use to them. Everything they wanted to do and try on Annie, she got them to take it out on her instead. The head Peacekeeper there had a thing for redheads but, she mind-fucked him into touching her instead"

Peeta flinches under my ministrations, I'd increased the pressure while he was staring at my face intently. But I don't want to see the disgust I know will be on his. I know I'm sullied beyond reproach, ok? Now both of my feet are on him but his trembling hands have moved to the tabletop again. Why didn't he just move my feet? And why was I happy he couldn't seem to?

"Is that true?" Prim asks me with sad blue eyes

"Mhhhmmm. So, I think I dare, Mr.Odair. It would seem I've got a thing for hot blondes hopelessly in love with someone else" I sing locking eyes with him, happy that these memories don't come back as easily as I spit them out. "We're used to it right? The Capitol just using our bodies how they want to? At least I'd be fun. You wouldn't believe the things I learned my body could do in there"

Peeta has had enough. So have the Odairs. And Johanna. Her hand is like a vice grip on my thigh, warning me to calm down. I didn't want to hurt Annie but I felt rabid and couldn't bring myself to care. I'd taken more than enough lashings for her; she could take one emotional for me.

Peeta's still hard beneath me but his hands slam on the table and I flinch backwards with my eyes on them. Now I'm the one frozen in place. They might as well be sledgehammers in my rattled mind. My own begin to tremble as I grab Johanna's hand in fear beneath the table. Ok maybe too far? He stands and his wounded eyes are hard as they hold me trapped in fear and something else.

"I don't know what you think happened on the train but that wasn't it", he hisses before retreating from the table.

He's a liar. He's definitely fucking hung. There's no way they'd just know that. Right? Or would I just know that?

No. The games. He had to have washed. Right?

Ugh. My head is spinning.

It's quiet for a little while after the Odair's, Gale and Peeta leave. I realize Prim has been watching me with the eyes of a doctor who wants to ask me things but not in front of people who don't have my confidence. Delly takes the hint and removes herself quickly. For some reason unknown to me, she touches my shoulder and gives a soft squeeze before leaving, knowing that touching me was not permitted. It was reassuring she cared enough to risk it.

Yulin finishes his food than comes to sit beside me for a minute. We were actually pretty close before I went into the games so I was happy to see he made it out. Friendship wasn't something that came easily to me. When his blue eyes hold mine, I realize he has something he wants to say without upsetting me.

"What?" I sigh ready for a lecture

"Look...I'm still friends with Peeta too. I know you don't like him right now but, don't just assume things. He's never...been with anyone before. I don't know what they did to your memories but he's never had sex" he sighs standing to go and fleeing the room quickly.

This only makes me angrier and I'm struggling to hold onto my reason.

I didn't need my heart to leap the way it did at the admission and breaking of Peeta's trust to give it to me. My head hurts.

"Why did you do that?" Prim asks amicably

"I-I don't know. I was so pissed off" I hiss gnawing at my chicken, no longer able to taste it but needing something to do before I splintered into a million pieces.

"About?"

"I can't explain it"

And I don't want to.

"Try" Johanna urges me threading her fingers through mine and squeezing twice, just like we did when we were imprisoned together. My little boost of dopamine in a world full of trackerjacker venom.

"I went through all this for him to have the life he wanted but I hated seeing it. But I hate him. Right? It's all so splintered" I sigh rubbing my temples now "I'm terrified of him. I just have this irrational fear but I wanted to touch him too. Fuck. I'm super fucked in the head. I want him dead. He wants me dead. Right? But I want his hands on me too? How could the train have been unreal? It's so clear. Bright. So bright"

"What about the train?" Prim tries knowing that trying convince me he didn't want me dead was a moot point.

"He and I... we would" I sigh, not wanting to express this to a 13-year-old, but she was the only doctor I trusted right now.

"You have memories of intimacy?"

"Sometimes" I huff as my body begins to shudder

"Only one time isn't super shiny like that but...we didn't..."

"This sounds juicy, tell me" Johanna hums leaning forward and resting her chin on her hands as she grins mischievously at me.

We'd always make one another laugh in some morbid fashion when we were imprisoned together and one of us was on the brink. I could have never endured all that I did without her.

"I didn't sleep well without him after the games...so, I never did" I sigh pulling my hands from my temples and holding Prim's clear blue eyes, drowning in their clarity

"And?"

"One night, I remember waking up to his lips on my cheek. I'd been crying out for him. I... I think I did that a lot. He curled up with me. Held me. He smelled different than the Peeta in the bright version.... like honey. Cinnamon"

"Like the bakery"

"Yes. Bread. Fresh bread"

This scares me. I'm getting too many at one time. Prim urges me on encouragingly.

"I wanted him to do more than hold me but I know it's not right to"

"Did he?" Johanna whispers conspiratorially as her pretty green eyes widened dramatically

"He's gotten...bigger than he was in the videos I remember. But he was always bigger than me. I wanted him to kiss me. I don't know why. He didn't love me. The cameras were gone. What did I want?" I grumble as my eyes dart back and forth across the table

"Oh my god bitch, did he kiss you or not?" Johanna whines

"Yes" I sigh as I feel my body clenching in a way that feels very familiar

"Keep going" Johanna purrs wiggling her shoulders

"He was on top of me. His tank tops always got swallowed by his muscles and his hands were" I stare down at mine "He always held my hands. He did it than too. His kiss was so passionate and he was everywhere" I whisper rubbing my temples again

I don't like that I can feel the heat of his body encompassing me or the tenderness in his kiss. This bothers me. Fuckin mutt. 

So desperate to have a piece of him, that I just let him take out his frustrations for Katniss with me. Telling me how pretty she was as he thrust into me so roughly. That was the truth. That's what happened. Right?

"He's got some big ass hands" Johanna observes

"But gentle in this one. I remember his hands on my ribs, my hips, his lips tasted like hot chocolate. He always...had some before bed on the train. I think?"

"That's really good, keep going" Prim presses

I don't want to. I can feel the golden haze trying to overtake this memory too. I tell her so.

"Why?"

"I hear things he's saying but it doesn't really sound like him. Like a track over the real words that don't quite match up to his lips."

"Listen to both. Figure out which one makes sense" Prim encourages

"He’s telling me that it's easy to forget Katniss with me because I had grey eyes and dark hair like her. These kisses are rougher though. He's tugging and pushing at me. He's rough and won't really look me in the eyes. They're off somehow but it's his voice. His body. It doesn't feel good for me but he likes it so I shut up like he says. His hands are on my wrists. Not in mine"

"What's the darker one saying?"

"He's calling me pretty. Sweet names. Whispering in my ear. He's holding my hands this time" I blush wanting to drop the topic now

It didn't make sense.

"Did you fuck in this one too? I like this one better" Johanna whispers practically in my lap now

"No. I... I touched him. He touched me, a little. That was it"

"Oh no, how much touching? Don't hold out on me now. I hate to read and this is a juicy story" Johanna whines as she shakes me

Maybe I'd make better progress with Johanna around when it came to my real memories? She made them easier to remember and fun even through the confusion and pain.

"Jojo maybe later" I hiss ignoring the creeping headache

Prim was still only 13 and it bothers me that she knows this much already.

"I don't mind" Prim laughs

"I do"

"Just keep going"

"I was determined not to, no matter how badly I wanted to. So, I asked to touch him instead"

His lips are on mine and the sounds that rumble in his wide barrel chest make me wet. He's so vocal as he showers me with praise between suckling at my tongue and lips. It makes my muscles clench in ways that set me ignites fire in my veins. I don't know how but he knows exactly how to suck on my tongue to make me weak. It's as if he has a roadmap to every sensitive part of me. He whimpers my name against my lips when my nails rake down his chest with desire. His lips leave mine as he throws his head back with a groan, hurriedly pulling the shirt over his head.

"Peeta" I whisper

His eyes meet mine, just holding them for a moment before he dips his head and gives me a tender kiss. His hands are on my ribs as he caresses my sides.

"Can I touch you Peeta?" I whisper into the night, my back bowing when his fingertips graze the underside of my breasts.

His eyes widen but he nods, his curls falling into his eyes as he tried to steady his breath. I want to see him come undone so I pull him down to me with my left arm around his neck and my right hand sliding through his golden happy trail. When his skin touches mine, I lay on my side, pulling him down so that he lay on his facing me. I could see him struggling not to flex his hips up into my descending fingers because his eyes never leave mine. He whispers how pretty I am as he pants against my lips, his voice unsteady and a low hum. I blush and kiss him to shut him up before I lose my nerve. As my fingers pass through the patch of curls, I wonder if they match the dirty blonde on his head. This becomes a fleeting thought when his length twitches against the side of my palm. I grab him gently at first, curious of his reactions to every touch and caress. He's pulsing in my hand as I explore his shaft in my hands. Peeta has no problem telling me exactly how he feels and I find that I really like that.

"Shit!" I hiss slamming my forehead down on the table before I feel Johanna's restraining arms wrapped around my shoulders to keep me upright

No. Mutt. Mutt. Enemy. He's going to destroy everything. But of course, me first. This isn't real. He'd never look at me that way. Never touch me so tenderly. He'd told me so.

He hated me for this fake relationship but I felt good wrapped around him so it was alright sometimes. His hands go to my throat when I ask him to slow down. He's hurting me. I go quiet but he's not finished yet. That was the real Peeta. Right?

RIGHT!?

My hand locks around Johanna's thigh in a grip that I know will leave a bruise. I'll apologize later. She doesn't flinch or move away; in fact, she moves closer so I can whisper in her ear.

"Se...date" I grit between pants

"Prim" she warns lowly trying not to alert my guards who've noticed the loud bang

Prim's hand is already on the remote. I feel the prick in my neck and I slump against Johanna's side with exhaustion. My doses are higher when I'm supposed to be around others. I want to sleep. But I can't. Not with these memories waging war in my brain.

"What the fuck? It was getting good!" Johanna hisses with mock irritation

I can't help the laugh that I choke out.

"Too good. I started to remember...the Training Center when I pull that one back up"

"Which part?" she snorts

"Mean Peeta" I whimper shrinking into her side feeling like a stupid child "Cliff too"

"Hey..." she calls lowly in a soft tone I've realized she only uses for me

I tilt my head up to hers with as much strength as I can muster, unashamed to show her my shiny eyes.

"Unless he's a quick pumper, which isn't exactly far off" she starts which makes me laugh brokenly "There's no way he actually got to you, y'know? Snow promised you to him after the interview. You fucked that up warning Peeta about the attack on 13. After Snow knocked you out, they brought you back in not ten minutes later. We were rescued a half a day later. They were on the frontlines. No one came to fuck with us in that time. I stayed up the whole time. I watched you the whole time."

"You broke your promise?"

"If you thought I really wasn't gonna need to look at your crazy ass when they brought you back, you're stupid. I know what Cliff does to the women POWs. I had to make sure you were breathing. They left you strapped down in front of my cell just like you said they would. When the grid dropped after they got bombed, I even managed to pull you into my cell before the power came on. I swear”

"It was cold"

"They took your clothes. They knew how much you love the things Cinna makes. And to make me think that you had been given to Cliff for a little while before they shipped out. I'm not dumb though. He likes to slice and beat a girl up before he can get his rocks off. You weren't bruised enough. Looked like they just beat you pretty good for the warning"

"You're lying" I begin to sob

"To you? For what? Your minds fucked enough as it is. I'd like no hand in that shit" she laughs and I join in, wrapping arms around her slowly filling out stomach

"Thanks for staying with me. I wouldn't have made it without you" I sigh sleepily, fighting my drooping lids

"Don't I know it" she smirks down at me, knocking her forehead against mine "Good. Your old man's here. Gonna need him to cart you off to bed. That meat's making you chunky"

"Good" I snicker

Prim has waves over Haymitch, who was looking for an excuse to ditch his next meeting anyway, asking him to carry me back to my room. More like my zoo exhibit cage. Johanna helps me turn on the seat, loosely wrapping my arms around his neck and back as he carries me piggyback to my room.

"Nice bruise on the forehead there darlin" he laughs around a lollipop.

A new guilty pleasure of his that helps distract him from the no alcohol rule down here. That rule definitely fuckin bites. I'd love a good drink right now.

"Had to hit something" I shrug with a yawn

"I take it you saw Peeta"

"I don't want to talk about it. My head hurts. Maybe later. I just have to sort it all out for a while first"

He hums but says nothing further as he waves his band in front of my cage to open the door. Once he sets me on the bed, he helps turn my body so I'm lying back against the pillows.

"Go ahead. I know they want you to strap me down"

"And since when have I given a shit about what other people want me to do?" he asks with a quirked brow

"True"

I roll onto my side and watch him as he sits in the chair beside the bed. It's usually occupied by the moron of a head doctor here.

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course"

I snuggle further into my blanket and just watch his chest rise and fall as he pulls a book out of his jacket and begins to read to himself.

"I'm fucked, aren't I?"

"Aren't we all?"

"You know what I mean"

"Do I?"

"My mind. There's no real helping this level of psychosis is there?"

"And what level is that?"

I hated when he answered my questions with questions like this.

"To see someone as a monster...but still want those same hands on you. No matter how terrified you are of the fact that you know they're meant to kill you. You want them anyway. Knowing it means your death. To find comfort in the arms of death?"

"Is that the crossroad you're at right now?"

"Yeah. I don't feel safe anymore. I don't know if I ever have, outside of the fractured memories that tell me I did with him. They hurt. It all hurts. What am I even still here for?"

We're quiet for a while before I begin to sob. I bawl so hard my bed rocks violently beneath me, my body releasing what I hadn't been able to in the last 6 months.

"I wish they'd killed me" I cry finally admitting to Haymitch the one thing I hadn't been able to admit to myself aloud "I can't live like this. Broken and fractured beyond repair! No one deserves to live as a shell. A ghost. A monster mutt terrified of other mutts!"

He doesn't say a word but his arms are around me in seconds, scooping me up, pulling me into the armchair so I'm sitting sideways in his lap. My sobs have only gotten harder and I'm barely breathing through them.

"That is not what you are! Do you hear me? You feel this way because you know that's not who you are! You feel her fighting, clawing desperately to get out from beneath the rubble of fucked up things that the Capitol dropped on you" Haymitch rumbles giving me a reassuring squeeze. "How about this? Everyone always wants you to pull your memories. How about we listen to some of my more sober ones of who you really are?"

"Yeah" I nod with a sniffle

So, he begins his tales. The more he talks the deeper I fall into the dream of living this girl's life as he describes her. The fire. The passion. Quickest to throw myself into the flames if it meant keeping those I claimed never to care for, away from harm. Alone since 8 but surviving on my own since 10. Preferring to keep to the woods, when possible, never was one to enjoy wearing pants. She didn't sound very nice but she was kind, passionate and strong.

I dreamt of her. In a field of dandelions, singing to the mockingjays above her head. The only times she ever felt free as a child.

***

"Ah. I always wondered what had happened" Haymitch nods before smirking at me

"That was not one of my finest moments" I scoff

"Sounded like one to me. You felt things you weren't ready to and tackled it head on anyway. Albeit, aggressively as hell but, you did it. Now, teasing the boys while you made your point? Stroke of genius" Haymitch chuckles

"I didn't even mean what I was saying. Like, Finn's cute and all, but in that annoying big brother kind of way. It's why I needed to apologize. I was trying to hurt everyone because I was hurting and couldn't figure out how to deal with it at the time. Nothing I was feeling made sense and it terrified me. It wasn't fair but I did it. It's why I had to say sorry"

"I can respect that"

"Finn's cute?" Peeta repeats above my head having apparently only heard that part of my spiel.

I shrink into his chest a little and nudge his chin up with the top of my head. Trackerjacker me tended to lean on Finnick a lot so we bonded quickly. I'd spent a lot of time with him. He was always nice to me even when I was losing my marbles. Even when I'd tried to kill Peeta again in the Capitol, he was soft in his tone and gentle in his handling of me even when I didn't know who or where I was. Used to it I suppose.

I later learned that it always stroked the beast of jealousy's back within Peeta back then.

"And Peeta is drippin wet, panty droppa, smoking hot”  I grin over at Haymitch knowing that Peeta is bright red above me.

He coughs and Haymitch hands me another clear liquor bottle to sip from.

"Finish about when you joined the squad at the Capitol" Peeta chokes

I try to ignore that he's dipped his chin so his lips are beside my neck and his left hand has released mine to trail back and forth across my waist line. I launch back into the memory before his hands distract me with hunger.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Wattpad Fics Masterlist

warning: some of these fics may have trigger warnings so please be careful when clicking on some of the fic links!

Beautiful Liar - lame_lashton lashton

Summary: Luke is in a toxic relationship with his girlfriend Arzaylea, and doesn't understand how deeply in love his best friend Ashton is in with him.

billionaire - ninjaturtleirwin cake

Summary: "What's not to like? Luke, I'm a billionaire." 

 ---

Where polar opposites fall hard for one another, but not without complications.

bleach - bipolarality mashton

Summary: some people use bleach to die their hair. others use it to kill themselves.

blind - michaelsvans muke

Summary: ❝i'm blind,❞ luke muttered.      

❝nice to meet you, blind. im michael.❞

blush - aldoushuxelymate

Summary: in which a boy has a deep infatuation for rosy pigmented cheeks.

bouquet of roses - reversegoth cashton

Summary: where calum is a grouchy teenager, ashton really loves flowers and making people happy, and luke and michael enjoy pranking calum with random deliveries to his house.

boy meets boy - umlashton lashton

Summary: "so, is this a thing?"

"yeah, we'll be friends.. with benefits" 

the one where luke and ashton start a secret friends with benefits relationship behind their girlfriends backs but sex doesn't help keeping the feelings away.

deaf - aIltimelucas mashton

Summary: mikey's been deaf for 17 years and now that he's not he's not really sure how to speak. everyone avoids him or teases him. except ashton. ashton had always been the caring type. the rescuer. he started out hanging out with the red haired mute boy to be kind but quickly finds himself falling in love. 

Invisible - bIessthefaII lashton

Summary: "dont worry, ash. everything is alright. they just dont understand." (lowercase intended)

Let's talk about sex - wastedheartmuke muke

Summary: Michael Clifford: I want you to have sex with me. 

top!Michael

sexting - boredomofdj mashton

Summary: when michael is horny and ashton is innocent

Silence - kaila_aaa ot4

Summary: He was silent. He didn't like talking.

Being abused could do that to a person. And having a lisp and a stutter didn't help. He hadn't said a word in so long, but no one cared. Everything was better in a world where he didn't talk.

He probably could've lived like this until the day he finally decided to kill himself. Until he meets three people who decide to change that...

Smoke - blackveilmuke muke

Summary: Michael smokes. Luke's allergic to smoke.

texting - lashtonnn lashton

Summary: "ashton: good morning lucas" 

"luke: i hate you"

The Bet - mentholsmgc muke

Summary: Michael and Calum have a bet going: that Michael, who usually can't keep a relationship longer than two weeks, can make someone stick around for a whole month. But Michael doesn't expect the someone to be the shy kid in school, Luke Hemmings.

The Bodyguard - iCheeseYou lashton

Summary: Ashton Irwin is a hot and famous celebrity that all the people love, look up to, or despise. He's cocky, selfish, and always puts himself before others. Despite his personality, he's pretty much wanted by everyone in the world. 

But when things escalate to the point that Ashton nearly gets kidnapped, his manager assigns a boy named Luke Hemmings to become Ashton's personal bodyguard, much to the star's reluctance and annoyance. 

Now Luke follows Ashton wherever he goes to make sure he's safe from any danger, but Ashton is determined to get rid of his bodyguard as soon as possible.

the sophomore - hemmowrites muke

Summary: In which Michael falls for the boy in the wheelchair.

tutor - lhemmingsdaily mashton

Summary: "And why the hell do I need to know the answer of y² - x³ = 432?"

"Well, because if you solve it, I'll kiss you."

[simply-starryeyed]

he’s asking me what we are, another he is asking our mutual friend to tell me about his feelings. she’s telling me i look good in every outfit i wear, he’s teasing me about my lisp.

i’m staying up until two to talk to him, i’m baking him cookies on a weekend. i smile at her every time i see her, i tease that i’m so much better than him.

he’s telling me everything on his mind and i make time to tell him about how very much i have to do.

he’s catching my mistakes in algebra and he’s grinning every time he sees me and he’s drawing me tiny horrifying creatures.

she’s making eye contact with me in the hallways and she’s always asking how i’m doing.

he’s calling me to help me with an assignment for a class he doesn’t take, and he’s telling me to fuck off because i got into a class he couldn’t.

so much love, and where can i put it? i think my heart is overspilling.

[justdalek]

Yuuuh some lads!

Clyde

- He is a true ladies man, remaining single and never really getting into a committed relationship cuz tbh he doesn't want to be held down by anyone

- Still great friends with all of the Craig Gang

- Was Craig and Bebe's best man at their respective weddings

- Clyde works as both a mechanic and a bartender and somehow makes a ton of money from both jobs (he could technically be set for life if he didn't travel so much)

- Clyde has been to all 50 U.S. states, most of Europe, Japan, South Korea, and Australia

- One night, a random woman abandons her baby at Clyde's doorstep (she assume he was the father). Clyde hears the baby's cries from his living room and rushes to the door to find the baby very upset that her mother had left her. Clyde rushed her over to the hospital to which the doctors pretty much say, "Well we did a paternity test just in case and no, you are not the father. But, you can adopt the child if no one claims her in the next 24 hours."

- No one claimed the child, and Clyde (being the very emotional man he sometimes is) immediately grabs all the paperwork and adopts her, naming her Monica

- He definitely dotes on his daughter a lot, and more or less stops his playboy life style to focus on her and her school, but he still has his flings with Bebe and Wendy

- In tfbw, he kinda becomes a vampire, but he only really needs blood once a month and instead of using fangs, he uses his proboscis (located under his tongue) to get blood, leaving the person with a very large and itchy whelp

Scott

- Scott pretty much is the local "weird but forgettable" kid

- Due to nobody really wanting to be his friend, he turns towards the church

- Father Maxi treats Scott like a son of his own, and was his mentor

- Scott takes over Father Maxi's position when Maxi retires

- Scott goes to a speech therapist to help with his lisp, which has helped tremendously with his preaches

- He's still friends with Butters, and later becomes friends with Kenny

- In tfbw, he is called the least due to his rather busy schedule as a priest. He's only called if they need brutalist class people

- However, he ends up being the supervisor for Bradley (Mintberry Crunch) and Theodore (Bradley's son), when the two seek refuge from Kokujon and Dr. Timothy throws the two aliens under close watch after the events of Camp Tardicaca

- Scott may have a crush on Bradley, but he's a little dense to notice it

- He acts like a second father to Theodor, and he tries his best with the other Freedom Pals children (since he tends to be the babysitter when he is around but not put on an assignment. Not that he minds though, he thinks the children are a delight and loves making crafts and playing games with them)

@kray-zay

[robininthelabyrinth]

centuries of violent cultivation have left their mark on the nie bloodline in some rather obvious ways. this is half the reason nhs hides behind a fan: it’s a lot easier to get away with being lazy when people aren’t regularly reminded of his fangs whenever he smiles.

unofficially part of Tigers

1

Nie Huaisang was wailing again.

“It’s not that bad,” Nie Mingjue said helplessly. “You’ll grow into them.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head furiously, clutching at his mouth. “Dun wan fangs!”

“The whole family has them –”

“Dun care!”

“They’re at least good for eating, aren’t they –”

“Nuh-uh!”

“It’s just a little lisp –”

Another wail.

2

Meng Yao wasn’t entirely sure of what to make of his newest duties.

It was a sign of trust, he knew that much, and that was good – it meant his plan to make himself irreplaceable to the Sect Leader was working, and his position would be all the more unshakable. The Nie sect might be seen as brutish and crude in Lanling, but their power was unquestionable, and he needed any backing he could get.

(When he made the plan, he hadn’t really cared much about who the Sect Leader he’d need to entice was, but he found to his surprise, and a little annoyance, that despite himself he actually rather liked Nie Mingjue, who was everything righteous cultivators usually pretended to be. It was almost a pity that Meng Yao already knew his life’s ambition, and that Nie Mingjue could never be more than a stepping-stone on his way.)

But still, it was a puzzle – Meng Yao knew that Nie Mingjue was a man who despised all manner of vanity and disdained the need for personal attendants, preferring to take care of himself whenever possible. So why would he feel the need to ask for help in something as mundane as trimming his nails?

“They’re getting too long again,” Nie Mingjue said, offering up a grinding stone, of all things; he looked resigned. “Do your best – I won’t hold it against you if you can’t do it.”

Meng Yao was confused until he realized that Nie Mingjue’s fingernails had were long and slightly hooked, like claws, and hard as bone – a clipper would be useless, and he’d need something of Baxia’s heft if he wanted to try cutting them with a knife. The only way to get them under control was to slowly dull the edge with the grindstone, wearing them down to a manageable length.

(It was tedious, but Nie Mingjue made up for it with conversation about the sect, the war, important things – years later, Jin Guangyao would sit at his father’s side, looking down at the frivolous assignments he was forced to take on, and think enviously back to those days.)

3

Lan Xichen knocked on Nie Huaisang’s door. “Nie-gongzi?” he called lightly. “I saw that you missed classes both yesterday and today – are you all right?”

There was no response at first, which made him wonder if Nie Huaisang really had snuck out or something – it didn’t seem likely. Nie Huaisang was a poor student, to be sure, and a daydreamer, but he was generally good at coming to the lectures even if he didn’t retain much of it. Probably worried that his older brother would break his legs if he didn’t at least pretend to be studious most of the time.

Missing two days of class, therefore, was unprecedented.

“Nie-gongzi?”

Maybe he was sick? But if so, he should go to visit the healers, not simply linger in his room – unless it was truly serious.

Lan Xichen was considering breaking down the door when he finally heard movement from the other side.

“Thank you for your concern, Lan-gongzi,” Nie Huaisang said through the door. He sounded mournful, but not especially unwell. “I’m just having a bit of an embarrassing personal issue that will pass in a few days. No need to worry yourself.”

Lan Xichen raised his eyebrows. He lowered his voice conspiratorially the way he knew Nie Huaisang liked. “If I promise not to tell anyone, will you tell me what the issue is?”

“…I’m shedding.”

4

Everyone at the Wen indoctrination camp tried to keep a low profile, even people like Wei Wuxian who weren’t very successful at it. They all knew why they were there, serving as hostages against their clans, and no one wanted to give the Wens an excuse – but that didn’t meant they weren’t angry in their hearts, wishing quietly that someone would do something to show some backbone.

Wei Wuxian did the most, but he was brave and reckless that way.

No one was expecting anything like that from Nie Huaisang, which was probably why they were all so stunned when the matter with the teacups happened.

It had started innocently: Nie Huaisang had moved his hand too quickly, and his teacup had fallen off the table. Wen Chao had scoffed and rolled his eyes, waving his hand to have a servant replace it.

It’d fallen off the table a second time not long after.

“How incompetent can you be?” Wen Chao sneered, waving his hand again. “I’d heard you were good-for-nothing, the disgrace of the Nie sect, but really –”

As he was talking, Nie Huaisang met his eyes calmly and reached out to place his finger on the edge of the newly provided teacup.

He pushed it right to the edge of the table.

Wen Chao stared. “You had better not –”

Another push, and the teacup was on the floor again.

“Oops,” Nie Huaisang said.

Wen Chao looked as though he was considering strangling him, but then someone (Wei Wuxian, probably) started applauding before it was quickly muffled, and Wen Chao’s rage quickly got redirected.

5

“I’m afraid the sect leader is occupied today,” the guard at the door said.

Jin Guangyao rolled his eyes. “You do remember I used to live here, right? A sunny day like this – he’s on the roof, isn’t he?”

The guard looked amused, which was all the confirmation he needed. “Do I have to fly up, or will you let me use the stairs?”

Jin Guangyao didn’t bother rushing up the stairs. It was a little after noon, when the rays of the sun were the hottest: the Nie clansmen could invariably be found draped over something, basking in the light.

Sure enough, Nie Mingjue was on the roof, sprawled out on his back with his eyes half-closed with pleasure, and Nie Huaisang lolled around on his belly nearby, painting something. A handful of cousins were there too, although not too close to the main family’s chosen territory towards the west corner – Jin Guangyao had never figured out if there was a reason they picked this corner rather than the center that would be more fitting to their status, or if they were just being contrary. Again.

There wasn’t any point in trying to get Nie Mingjue’s attention for business purposes right now.

Luckily, for once, that wasn’t his goal – he’d just had a sudden overwhelming need to get out of Lanling, and Jin Guangshan was easily fooled into thinking Nie Mingjue had imperiously demanded his sworn brother’s presence on virtually no notice.

“Da-ge,” he started, selecting one of his pre-fabricated rationales, “I –”

Before he could finish, Nie Mingjue tugged him down to the ground. “Excuses later,” he growled, eyes still mostly closed. “Nap now.”

Yes, Meng Yao thought. This was fine.

[loveshacks]

diego and soundman's accents

this one was a little harder since neither of them are given specific bithplaces in canon. i had to make a few assumptions in order to assign them an accent ^^' but somehow i feel like i got a more precise idea of their voices than gyro and johnny's?

Soundman: in canon, he's never given a more specific heritage than "native american" which, thank you. thanks. that helps. also for all my ~15 minutes of forum scouring i could not find anyone else who cared to try and figure out what tribe he might be. So I will do my best:

We know at least that they live somewhere in the desert, with their intro scene having a backdrop of mesas and cacti. we also know that they ride horses, which helps to narrow it down a little. based on that im guessing Apache, since Apache people are more well known for their horseback riding than their neighbors in the desert, the Puebloans. Some Apache people did live in tipis like Soundman's tribe seems to, but the Apache groups that lived in the desert (Lipan and Mescalero) generally lived in wikiups, which are similar, but less easily transportable. Like I said he doesn't seem to be based on any specific tribe, so the references to Native culture are all over the place.

But as if Apache is specific enough! Apache itself has two distinct languages within it (Eastern and Western) and at least four dialects within those. I'm going to assume Soundman is Mescalero Apache specifically, which would mean he speaks Mescalero-Chiricahua. Here is a sample of someone switching between english and Mescalero- altho that's a much more modern example, i think we can assume that's pretty close to how Soundman would speak!

My guess is that he learned english entirely from his books, since his tribe seems to be pretty anti-contact, so i believe his english would be pretty accented and probably become more adapted/smooth throughout the race. ok transcription time!

/ aj wɛl k'las͜ t̬ɛ k'an.t'ɛ.nɛnt wɛt maj fiːt ɛ'lõ: /

"eye well c(l)ass t'e cantenent wet my feet el-oan" (VERY roughly) here's the IPA reader , i recommend Ines for best results

reader friendly text: aj wɛl klas͜ t̬ɛ kantɛnɛnt wɛt maj fiːt ɛlõ:

the mescalero language does not have the [ð] (that, the), [ɹ] (red), or the [w] sounds, so i figure the "th" jumps to the next best thing, a flap [t̬ ] (butter, medal) and an [l] is slipped in in place of the [ɹ] as they are both pronounced in the same area of the mouth, assuming he doesn't just skip over the sound entirely. as for the [w] sounds, the neighboring languages, Western Apache and Navajo both include a [w] sound in their alphabet, so i don't think it's impossible for Soundman to say 'wet water is wet,' assuming he had contact with people outside his tribe.

The biggest difference is in the vowels. Mescalero does not have the [ɪ] (will, hit), [ə] (alone), [əʊ] (own, loan), or [ɒ] (cross, hot), and those are just the sounds i needed for this sentence ^^'. They do however have 4 different nasal vowels, which are kind of hard to imagine the sound of if you aren't familiar with them, but think of how the french say "jean" and you have a nasal 'a' right there. So I think Soundman would often slip back into nasal vowels, especially in place of a vowel/nasal consonant combo at the end of a word: the end of 'alone' slips to the soft palate, and he doesn't hit the 'n' sound on its own. Mescalero also doesn't have any diphthongs, most notably the [au] in sound. so his name probably sounds more like / sã: mã / assuming it's not a translation of some longer phrase.

The vowels would be the defining feature of his accent, since it seems a lot of english vowels don't translate into mescalero. Also, didn't get to mention this, but mescalero also has quite a few sounds that are more...lisp-y (i guess?), like [ɬ], [ɣ] and and [k'] idrk if i can write out an accurate pronunciation, check them out on this interactive chart. So i think he would end up using those sorts of sounds pretty often especially in place of tighter consonants, so like 'slip' might become 'shlip' and 'contact' might become "conta(cht) " with the ending "k" sound going towards the soft palate and being pretty closed off.

Diego: he's a poor british dude, so you'd think we could just pin him with a cockney accent and call it a day. Sadly it's just not that easy. And i like making things complicated. Cockney accents are found among lower class Londoners- aka city dwellers, and Diego was born and raised somewhere in the countryside. A few miles (or kilometers i guess, we're in the UK now) can really be a world of difference on an accent. so:

during his intro his parents take him "into the mountains" so that puts us up in the north of the country- and then he flows down a river and grows up on a farm. So I am pinning him with a Yorkshire accent, since it's an area of countryside directly next to the mountains, while newcastle seems a little too north (but imagine geordie diego lol) and scouse (liverpool) seems a little too far south/also on the other side of the mountains.

Here is the oldest example i can find of a yorkshire accent, someone born in 1912, and luckily it doesn't sound tooo different from the modern accent, at least not to my american ears :~). But, given his goal of 'climbing the ranks of society' it also makes sense for him make an effort to cover up his natural accent in order to sound more posh (aka upper received pronunciation). I'm thinking then that his speech would be characterized by a lot of dropped r's/ non-rhoticity (obv), glottal stops at the end of words (mostly to replace t's d's and k's), omitting h sounds from the beginning of words, as well as diphthong vowels and a majority of frontal vowels. he might even roll his 'r's if they're in the middle of a word, like 'brando' / bɾɑ:ndɔ /

if he's really minding himself though, he'll be sure to enunciate his t's & h's, follow the rises and falls of upper RP, and not roll his r's, since that would give him away as a...u know, / blʊ:dɛ kʰʊ:ntɾɛ: fʊ:k /

the vowels would be a little harder to mind, since upper rp vowels are generally formed nearer the front of the mouth, while yorkshire vowels are less restrained, more open (formed with a low tongue/open mouth), and not very subtle. yorkshire accents can also create diphthongs where there are none, so floor may be pronounced, flu-or.

/ a:bɛts kʰɑ:ntʰ be: fɛkst jʊs laɪʔ feɪtʰ /

" 'abets c(ah)n't b(eh) fex'd, joos lai' fate" (roughly) IPA reader i recommend Geraint or Amy to get the best results.

kinda weird sounding. i know. like i said, i think he would have trained himself to hit his t's (otherwise it would sound like, "abe's, ka' fae' " ) and some more posh sounding vowels like in can't (caaahn't) and be (beehh). And then there would be the bits of his natural accent that slip thru the cracks, like the dropped 'h' in habits, and the long 'u' sound in 'just.' (dkm he might sound sorta like louis tomlinson)

so there u have it ^_^ i might do valentine, steven steel and hot pants next

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[ratchedspeach]

Upward Over the Mountains - Chapter 1 | READ ON AO3

my long promised college Mildolyn au!!! Enjoy!!

September, 1929

Mildred Ratched stroked her thumb absently against the corner of her suitcase. She recited and re-recited the list of its contents in her head.

Underwear: check.

Toothbrush: check.

Socks: check.

Hairbrush: …

Mildred stuttered, thumb stilling against the cool metal of the latch. A hairbrush, how could she have forgotten a hairbrush? Her cheeks warmed. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She turned her gaze out the window once more, watched the trees roll across mountains and stretch for miles on either side of her. It was enough to swallow her whole. From her vantage on the highway, Mildred wondered if this was what it was like to be sailing; the ocean splayed and smooth below a hull of oak or cedar, the scent of salt and wind. Only here, the air smelled of sweet dirt and rot, and there was no wood beneath her feet: only the faded carpet of her taxi. Still, the trees persisted like the uneven sightline of waves crashing. Only, here, there were shades of pale yellow and vibrant orange and deep clay, not greens and greys as she imagined water might look.

“Should be just off this next exit, Miss.” The cab driver - a gruff looking man with a thick mustache and beat up cap - grunted, and Mildred felt the car veer towards the right.

Mildred squeaked out a meager “thank you”, her voice barely coming as a whisper against the dryness of her throat. She checked her watch; they had been driving for well over two hours now, much to the begrudge of her driver, who had been none-so-pleased picking her up from the GreyHound bus stop. Mildred’s chest tightened when she thought of the way his gnarled features pulled into a frown, how he had muttered as he helped her load the cardboard box which contained the rest of her belongings into the back of his trunk, and rolled her eyes when she asked if she could perhaps keep the items up with her. She rolled her neck. It would be good to get out of the car, she decided.

She was right, of course.

Once stopped, the campus of Bennington College was all greens and yellows and browns. A large brick building stretched beyond a field already bustling with incoming students. A lake nestled between dormitories, and somewhere in the distance, Mildred could see smoke from a chimney. She inhaled the electricity crackling off of those who she would soon call her classmates. She paid the taxi driver, and thanked him. He, in turn, dropped the box with her belongings onto the sidewalk before speeding away.

Now what?

Mildred couldn’t be sure. Signs were planted firmly into the grass around her - some directed towards registration for freshmen, some held the names of dormitories, some merely boasted welcome! In cheery gold letters. Mildred followed the first of them, finding herself in front of a table lined with young women checking names off of lists and pointing in different directions.

After waiting her turn, Mildred found herself greeted by a pink-cheeked girl with curls and spectacles hanging against her nose. She asked for Mildred’s name, which Mildred gave.

“Ratched, Mildred.”

The girl glanced up at her, her pale eyes taking stock of Mildred almost hungrily. Her gaze landed on the cardboard box clutched in Mildred’s arms.

“Oh honey, is that all you’ve brought with you?”

Mildred’s cheeks warmed, and she suddenly wanted very badly to be anywhere but here. Still, she nodded, and asked weakly for her dorm assignment.

“You’ll be in the Barnes Houses. Gosh, you’re lucky! Those are some of the biggest rooms.” The girl gushed, then added after a moment: “not that you’ll need all that space.”

Mildred clung to her box like a life raft. She thanked the girl, and spun on her heels. Somewhere behind her, she heard the girl shout “welcome to Bennington!”, but she didn’t turn to acknowledge it.

Mildred couldn’t believe her eyes when she finally swung the door open to her room. It wasn’t just spacious, it was … god, it was huge; bigger than any space Mildred had ever called her own before. Two beds tucked into opposite corners of the room, each against a window which let in bright Vermont sky. Mildred noted that one of the beds was already half set up - a set of pale blue sheets and pillows strewn across it. Not that Mildred minded; if anything, it took the pressure off her when it came to choosing a bed. She dropped the box onto the spring mattress, the contents jostling ever so slightly at the disruption.

“Oh good, you’re here!” Mildred heard from behind her, whipping around to see a bright, blonde girl with pale blue eyes and thin lips. She was holding a succulent between her slender fingers, and a smile lifted her cheeks. She was distinctly pretty, in a jade green dress and penny loafers. Mildred found herself suddenly embarrassed of her simple skirt and brown cardigan.

“I’m Lenore - Lenore Osgood.” The girl greeted, sticking her hand out for Mildred to shake.

“Mildred Ratched.” She greeted, trying to match the levity of her new roomemate’s smile, but managing no more than a grimace.

Lenore took her hand and shook it jovially, a single finger pressing into the hollow of Mildred’s palm.

“Well, I guess we’re living together, then. I’ve never had a roommate before, being an only child and all. Oh, don’t worry, I’m terribly clean, and I don’t tend to make much noise. Well, I’ve been told that sometimes I talk in my sleep, but you can’t hardly hold that against me, being unconscious and all.” Mildred felt dizzy. Lenore looked past her, brow furrowing the pale skin of her forehead. “Is that all you’ve brought with you?”

Mildred swallowed. Her dark eyes glazed, and she nodded slowly. Lenore simply shrugged.

“Well, I was going to offer to help you unpack, but it doesn’t seem it’ll take you very long. Gosh, you should have seen my parent’s car; we could barely fit me in the back seat. Your parent’s must be awfully proud to have a daughter so sufficient at packing. Are they here?”

Mildred’s stomach twisted, and she exhaled too quickly. “Oh, um, no they … well … they’re just …”

“Gosh, you’re a nervous thing, aren’t you?” Lenore queried a smile.

“I …”

“Relax, Millie - can I call you that? - I’m only teasing you.” Lenore turned and began busying herself with breaking down boxes and putting the finishing touches on her bed. “Well, anyway, my parents went to the cafeteria to try and rustle up something edible. I’ve heard the food here isn’t too bad, although I bet it doesn’t hold a candle to a home cooked meal, don’t you think?”

Mildred swallowed and nodded. Gosh, could she talk. Mildred decided that she liked it - liked her. Lenore wasn’t mean-spirited or jaded, wasn’t timid or prim. Lenore was the opposite of Mildred in so many ways, and it swallowed her whole, made her feel normal. Yes, Mildred thought, they would get along rather nicely.

“Oh gosh, is that the time already?” Lenore pulled her from her thoughts, blue eyes bulging at her watch. She reached for Mildred’s hand: “c’mon, we’ll be late for orientation!”

Mildred followed the blonde in a daze, letting Lenore drag her through the door and down the hall. A crowd had already formed outside of other first years. Beyond them there was a line of women in white sweatshirts with BENINGTON printed across them in red collegiate letters.

“Alright, ladies, settle down!” One of them, a short girl with a northern accent and dark bangs clamored above the crowd. The chatter dissipated, leaving a nervous hum of energy and anticipation in its wake. “My name is Betsy Bucket, and I’m a junior. If I call your name, you’ll be breaking off with me. The rest of you will be split between the lovely women on either side of me.” She gestured swiftly to seven other girls.

Betsy began reading from a list; mispronouncing names with little regard as she went. By the end, she had a crew of about thirty girls, one of which was Lenore. Two more girls read off lists, and Mildred felt her heart plummet a little deeper into her stomach everytime her name was not chosen. And then the fourth girl: strawberry blonde with full cheeks, stalky and glowing against the collegiate background stepped forward. Feeling her tongue too large for her mouth suddenly, Mildred let the muscle dart across her upper lip.

“... Mildred Ratched!”

Mildred’s body lurched forward before her brain could react to what was happening. She found herself in the shadow of the girl, who nodded and smiled at her with deep azure eyes, and continued on with her list. Ten names later, she led them to the shade of a tree away from the crowd, and had them sit in a circle. Mildred found herself sandwiched between a bulky girl with thick glasses and a thicker lisp, and their orientation leader. Once seated, Mildred noticed that she smelled of lavender and oak, and she was the only one amongst them to wear pants. The sleeves of her sweatshirt were bunched, revealing the slender muscle of her forearms. She had strong, distinct hands, and Mildred could sense an heir of cockiness floating off of her. Mildred thought it suited her.

“Alright ladies, welcome.” Her voice was lighter than Mildred had expected - its cadence higher, like wind chimes. “My name is Gwendolyn Briggs. I’m a senior here at Bennington. My favorite color is red, and this summer I hiked the Appalachian Trail.” A murmur went through the circle. Gwendolyn nodded towards Mildred: “alright, now you.”

Mildred’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, um …” she cleared her throat, which was suddenly very dry indeed, “M-my name is Mildred Ratched. I’m .. well … a freshman.” A few snickers. “My favorite color … I’m not sure I have one. Green, maybe? This summer I …” Mildred panicked, her breathing rising into her chest and twisting painfully. Think, Mildred, think! “I um … I worked at an ice cream parlor.”

The crowd mumbled a hello to her, but Mildred could hardly hear it over the roar of blood rushing through her ears. Her dark eyes flicked to Gwendolyn, and she found the girl looking at her as though she could see all the way through to her skeleton. Mildred’s neck burned under her gaze, and she averted her own back to her palms.

The rest of the circle rattled on - about twenty five girls in total listing a myriad of colors and summer activities. Gwendolyn seemed not to notice, for every time Mildred had a chance to glance up at her, she caught icy blue eyes on her flesh, and her stomach reeled all over.

From that first circle, Mildred would fall further and further back into the crowd as Gwendolyn gestured to buildings, explained how cafeteria hours worked, and when the library was open, and when curfew was.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Meet me back at the commons tomorrow at 11 am sharp. Don’t forget my face!” Gwendolyn joked as she dismissed the gaggle of girls. “Mildred, a moment?”

Mildred practically tripped over her own legs in her rush to meet her. She loomed over Mildred in height, and Mildred found herself craning her neck to meet her eyes.

“I was warned about the … circumstances of how you came to Bennington.” Mildred’s breath caught. No, no, no. This was it: the thing she had been dreading. This was the beginning and the end of her social life. It had to be. Mildred’s gaze cast down to her worn shoes, air neither entered nor left her lungs, and her head spun and then -

A gentle hand landed on her shoulder. Mildred flinched, but the hand persisted.

“I just wanted to offer my assistance however I can. I know how hard it can be to feel like an outsider. I’d like to be an ally to you, if you’ll let me.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Mildred’s gaze lifted once more. And Gwendolyn, for her part, smiled; a warm, honest thing. And then Mildred was smiling too.

“Thank you.” She breathed.

Gwen just shrugged: “go on, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mildred turned on autopilot. She could feel the thrum of her pulse where Gwendolyn’s hand once was.

“Oh, and Mildred?” Mildred peeked over her shoulder. “It’s nice to meet you.” Gwendolyn winked.

Mildred’s lips parted slightly. She had half a mind to say something in response, but Gwendolyn was already sauntering off to a group of older girls, and what could she say anyhow? It’s nice to meet you, too? You hardly even know me? No, none of that would do. With her head down, she trudged back to her dorm.

Lenore wasted no time in purging the events of her day: what Betsy studied, the other girls she’d met, what she thought of campus. “It’s wonderful, don’t you think it’s wonderful?” She cheered, flopping onto her back in an exhausted flourish.

Mildred perched on the corner of her still unmade bed. She nodded (not that Lenore could see).

“Yes,” Mildred breathed, “wonderful.”