#LMAO those tags arent real

[dadsbongos]

I NEED MORE RAGNVALDR SMUT THIS MAN IS MAKING ME GO CUCKOO

you n me both you n me both you n me both you n me both like!!

warnings - randomly lost the spark for this at the end and you can… tell lol, not proofread, fem body, whiny pathetic big man with big tits >>>>>, unprotected piv but liek cmon… what is the protection in that era youre lucky rag’s washed

845 words

~~~

“You’re very close.”

“You’re more comfortable than the bed.”

Ragnvaldr snorts a laugh, eyes fluttering shut as he grins, hands winding tighter around your waist and squeezing the soft fat, “You’re obsessed with flattering me, elskede.”

“You’re worth the flattery,” you lift your chin and settle it between his collar bones to stare up at the man.

Auburn strands of hair burn like gold in the pouring sunlight, soft sage eyes gooey as they return your gaze. Morning birds sing outside the gaping window, fresh air chilling through the bedroom. Last night, you’d fallen asleep side-by-side only for the man to pull you atop his chest in the dark. Or maybe he did it as the sun first rose, staring at your lax face through bleary eyes; determined not to wake you. 

Wringing both arms under Ragnvaldr’s head, you pull your face closer to his and earnestly giggle at how his cheeks go ruby red. 

“Hm, blushing is a good look for you,” you dance the blade of your nails across his sharp cheekbones, feeling the warmth from his face lick over your fingertips, “So bashful.”

“Bashful,” he scoffs at the mere notion, “I’m the strongest warrior in Oldegaard, I am not bashful.”

“No?”

“No.”

“So, then, if I do this…” you sit up slowly, making a show of petting your palms down his chest and curving your back to push out your chest, perhaps -- just by mere coincidence -- grinding your pelvis into his, “You’ll feel nothing?”

“Nothing,” the tremble in his muscles says otherwise. So does the upward, smitten twitch of his lips. His hands tighten around your waist.

Ragnvaldr is as much a lovestruck fool as he is a warrior, he’s big and simple and so, so tender in your hands. 

“Do you lie to me?” you pout, and though he knows it’s fake Ragnvaldr is tempted to smear it off your face.

He beams up at you, a chuckle rumbling low in his throat, “Of course, I’m lying. Have you seen yourself?”

You shrug coyly and he laughs again. 

“Beautiful,” Ragnvaldr stretches his neck to press his lips to your neck, “So very beautiful.” 

“Now who’s full of flattery?” you tease as hands larger and bolder than your own peel off the gown you’d slept in; Ragnvaldr lifts his hips while you fumble off his trousers.

Warmth lathes up your spine, washing over your skin in time with the softness of Ragnvaldr’s palms. He pulls and squeezes the fat of your hips in appreciation as your slick envelopes his cock. Tossing his head back in a throaty whine, Ragnvaldr bucks his hips up -- settling both feet on the creaky straw and pelts to better thrust into you. Slow and thorough, he curls both arms around your waist and binds you both chest to chest; earnestly moaning at the squish of your bare breasts against him. Leaning his head against yours, Ragnvaldr lovingly molds his lips against your forehead.

“I love you,” he proclaims, “Love,” he whines, high and pitchy and snapping into the back of his throat, “My love, my good love, sweet girl…” he shudders under your hands, pace quickening, “Please, sweet girl, kiss me.”

You should’ve known -- if you weren’t preoccupied with whimpering and wailing his name, you’d probably giggle. Ragnvaldr loves to kiss during sex, no matter how contradictory his wrapping and hugging says otherwise. You have to wiggle up from his sweaty arms to worm your face by his, kissing along his jaw just to tease your lips against the corner of his mouth.

“Please,” the big man huffs pathetically, arms cinching tighter around your body and hips rocking the thin mat below you, “Don’t be cruel to me.”

“Rag’,” you croon, finally giving him the pleasure of your lips locked to his, now mumbling against him, “My precious man, big, big man. You’re so good to me.”

His face flames beneath yours, only growing hotter the longer you speak, “Uh-huh?”

“Yes, yes,” you gasp, his cock driving harder into the spongy spot that makes you weep, “Fuck me harder, Rag’! Rougher, my love, don’t be gentle…”

“Uh-huh…” he nods weakly, and continues nodding against you -- skulls thumping dully in time with his fucking, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh…”

Fire rips up the seams of your tangled limbs, scorching up the loose ends of the building knots in both of your guts. Ragnvaldr tears his face back from yours, groaning and crying mixes of your name and gibberish. Gibberish until he finally crackles out,

“Can I- !" he's broken by a shiver and moan, "Can I cum inside, elskede?”

He wriggles one arm off you and in between your bodies to flick wetly around your clit. You burrow your face into the bend of his shoulder, biting the meat of his neck to muffle your swelling moans. You snag your nails into his broad chest, his soft hair tangling under your fingers, spurring you for an eager reply.

“Yes, yes, yes!” you chant dumbly, decisively numb to everything except Ragnvaldr and the ecstasy he brings.

BOOM bomb explodes you DIE!!!

[hauntingblue]

The episodes at the baratie are good if you ignore the big fucking elephant in the room that is sanji. Which is you know not a thing that can be easily ignored

[thatdeadaquarius]

Soon.

☆

With a puzzled squint, you could see the adeptus was running over what you said in his mind, trying to parse out the meaning. Xiao then threw his head up out of his slight bow, almost glaring at you, “There is no task nor person more important than guarding you, my Lord. I will stand guard, worry not about my state.”

Nodding to you, he abruptly turned on his heel to shift to the side of the entrance to the mansion, his spear tall and ready. You’d have twitched a smile at him if you could, as you're sure he’s gotten a little more comfortable with you than when you first officially met. You’re also sure from meeting Zhongli just once in person that he’d have a small heart attack if he saw some of Xiao’s informal behavior.

But you’re glad he hasn’t, the more relaxed they are, especially considering your form, the better.

You duck inside, though the ceilings are so raised that you don’t have to go that low surprisingly. Huh, it was nice to be anticipated in a building usually sized for human heights. Wow. You’ve really reached the point of casually calling yourself inhuman.

…well, to be real with yourself right now, it might actually help to get more accustomed to that in case you’re never human again.

You also put that possibility back into the vault at the back of your mind.

☆

HEY I live, again,

I had a big life update what with my sib graduating grad school (getting their masters degree) at the same time we both moved like 2 states over from our home state 😅

and unfortunately, i wasnt able to get my monster of a sequel out in time to post it remotely to get it out to you guys while i was afk

(as i havent had wifi/free time consistently in like 2-3 weeks)

which, phew, im finally able to be settled in one place enough to write again, and have enough time in the day to not be dealing wiht my apartment to write ToT

i hope you guys arent too mad at me! (or have forgotten me?? sobs)

also.

i hear Natlan's coming out. 👀

I don't think it'll be out before i post the full (3 chapters total planned) sequel, but just in case, disclaimer-

🪄I am not to be held liable for not writing about Natlan bc it wasnt out yet woooo🪄

anyway, yeah its also taking a bit bc i wanna post the completed thing all in one go, over the course of like 3 days or so, that way u guys can actually look forward to the next little chapter in a reasonable amount of time lmao

well yknow, if anyones still reading this or my blog lol

happy summer you guys! I hope u all are having a good one so far, esp those of you in school, heart going out to yall fr <33

Catch you on the flip side (ao3 side?)✌️

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@karmascreeches / @yomilyy / @0rah-s / @idontknowwhatimdoingbutweball / @blackstar-gazer / @voidsgarden / @a-gay-piece-of-paper / @oxyotl / @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback / @kurayamioterasu / @randompersoninyourworld / @byakuren100 / @lemonade7255

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypasta pride headcanons because its pride month

i dont think im gonna tag this since its just personal hcs and i rarely include my personal lgbt hcs in my normal posts shrugshrug.. asides nina, i use my personal hcs for nina in normal posts because those hcs are so deeply ingrained in how i perceive them LMAO notes: not an x reader post, VERY short post, as mentioned above the only character hcs that effect my main writing is ninas hcs the others so not control my normal x reader posts that get requested! if any characters have confirmed identities from their creators LET ME KNOW! i dont keep up with stuff outside of the original stories!

SLENDERMAN

doesnt really do labels and doesnt really know any. he does know that there are different identities but its not really anything that matters to him. responds to any pronouns though! grayromantic, or even aromantic, same with sexual attraction!

SPLENDORMAN

knows about identities and labels a bit thanks to interacting with humans! is fine with any pronouns but defaults to he/it/they! pansexual demiromantic! hip hip hooray!

TRENDERMAN

similar to splendor with the "knows identities and what they are/mean" thing. primarily uses he/him pronouns but sometimes uses it! attracted to men and masc presenting folk! asexual

JEFF THE KILLER

trans female to male, uses he/him pronouns! bisexual king, has no real preference i think... not much to say here! a lot of these are going to be short!

JANE THE KILLER

i hop between headcanoning her being lesbian or bisexual with a HEAVY lean to women. alternatively i can see her being a lesbian who IDs as bi/unaware that they arent actually attracted to men. uses she/her pronouns

BEN DROWNED

little guy

LAUGHING JACK

knows about labels and stuff but jack personally is unlabeled and just doesnt care about putting any names to how he feels. responds to any pronouns, perhaps GNC because he has many interests that are usually associated with both genders... attracted to all genders, develops crushes easily so i dont think he falls under the aro spectrum if he were to pick any labels

EYELESS JACK

unlabeled for the most part but he does have "maybe" identifiers to help communicate what he knows he likes/identifies as! uses he/they pronouns, demiromantic! attracted to both sexes, fine with dating all genders

LAUGHING JILL

demiromantic lesbian, demigirl me thinks! uses she/they/it pronouns

NINA THE KILLER

genderfluid and uses any pronouns at any given time, truly does not care how you refer to them! pansexual

MASKY

demiromantic and asexual uses any pronouns but tends to use he/it :)! no preference for gender in terms of dating

HOODIE

panromantic and demisexual, i think! him and masky are probably the least developed in terms of these sorts of hcs so these hcs are likely to change! uses he/it pronouns though tends to default to he/him

TICCI TOBY

uses just he/him pronouns, i think hes questioning a lot of his stuff and for the most part just labels himself as questioning. exploring isnt really his priority, he kind of just lets what feels right guide him when navigating relationships! can see him being a demiboy but not knowing of the label/being aware... but on the other hand he gives such trans man vibes.. double headcanon like jane- i can see toby as either or! we love multi sets of hcs in this house

Edit: Toby's confirmed bisexual let's fucking GOOOOO!! Question/unsure to bisexual pipeline by beloved + my personal experience (I no longer ID as bi BUT!!!!!)

[sunshines-child]

emerging from my quasi hiatus bc i need to yell something rq and have no idea where to go, sunny allow me to seek refuge here pls n thank u forgive me i love you :D

-------------------

aight so greek mythology premise; a siren spots a small boat and an even smaller figure in the distance. first catch of the day she thinks, grinning to herself.

she circles the vessel, listening carefully to their gentle humming, considering disguises. head peaking out of the water she sings her best melody in hopes of averting the strangers attentions to her so she can adequately capture their deepest desires.

PLOT TWIST bc i dont feel like being eloquent this early in the morning lol: theyre deaf! and sirens iirc are part of apollos domain or sum and as the god of knowledge in my eyes hes a polygot and this is shared with the sirens to appeal to the biggest demographic of people lol.

anyway she sings and to no affect, sailor feels the water shift underneath them and turns to see the siren (in their real from bc why not) and puts 2 and 2 together and starts to sign. boat person is shook and signs back :D probably unaware of the sirens motives.

ALTERNATIVELY: tis a child! and ig sirens arent particularly picky with those who trespass into their waters, but perhaps she either takes pity, or intends to go about with business as usal but kiddo unknowingly outsmarts her and she amused decides to leave them be, or even better take them in (bc what parents let their kid venture that far) or a secret fourth option.

EVEN MORE ALTERNATIVELY: (and this one can be seperate from deaf boat person) AROACE!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D ive yet to see anything written about sirens luring victims with anything other than the usual ways of persuasion, modes of control, means of deceit and other roads to the soul (ayyy) lemme see someone being lured into a qpr or something lol

TRAGICOMEDY: sailor is suicidal and knows exactly what theyre getting themselves into, and the only thing holding up their backflip from the boat is them getting stuck in the nets. shenanigans ensue where siren helps them to get to her lunch faster. and idk they bond, maybe she talks them out of it bc meals dont taste good when they willingly walk into their traps or maybe its some code of ethics thing.

-------------------

dont u love it when u try to write 2.7 sentences to get the wiggles out but it turns into 7 paragraphs, several arts and a spinoff? my hs english assignments weep in the corner & unwritten wips plot my downfall as i type lmao.

to anyone interested please feel free to run wild with any of these! if you do please tag me @kindred-spirit-93 >:D

sunsprite wreath for the flower of my life x

You may seeks refuge here :)

[baby-xemnas]

Sorry if this is something you’ve answered before but do you have any thoughts on how lawbepo get together? You draw them as pinning teens or in an established relationship but do you have any opinions on, like, who would confess first or if either of them would even do that? Bepo’s so self conscious, it seems like it would be real difficult for him to confess. So, do you have views on if one of them got up the courage or if some, like, horrific accident exposured one of their feelings?

(On the joking side, entirely possible peng & shachi, upon realizing all this unresolved sexual tension was gonna get moved to an incredibly small enclosed space were like “time to just sit them down and tell them. This can’t continue on the sub”)

i havent drawn confessions exactly because i feel like if i attempt it will end up like a 5+ page ordeal LMAO

honestly i feel like i change the answer every other time and this will be no different

yes i probably talked about it but repeat questions are fine because i dont always remember what ive spoken about and what i only have thought

found an old reply to this from a year ago

i do have a talk tag where i TRY to put my rambles when i dont forget

to answer your question: i dont think penguin and shachi would do something like that as funny as it is - they would be too scared to force law into anything, not knowing how he would take it because bepo is clearly so important to law and maybe he has A PLAN and is waiting for the right time so if they did lock them in a room together they would ruin it and they arent ready to deal with the reaper percussions of that!

realistically its up to chance. you dont spring something like this on somebody casually, it has to be a deep conversations about feelings or relationships and then one has to gather up their courage and VERY OBVIOUSLY HINT at that "i actually only love you"

imagining them as teens during this

now who does it have to be? i think its bepo who says that he couldnt share his time with somebody even if it was the cutest female bear in the world because he wants to spend all that time with law

law getting hopeful but saying smth like: well you havent met the cutest girl bear in the world yet so who knows maybe youll put me aside

bepo is like NO I WOULD NEVER and starts complimenting law a bunch and talk about how important he is to him (law gritting his teeth not to blush)

law is like yeah same

i think law Could take responsibility and be like YEAH ACTUALLY ITS "LIKE THAT" and open his arms for a hug like "guess we are gonna stay together" and he cant take it when he is hugging bepo who looks up at him like "really? will you let me stay with you captain? with those cute eyes of his that law has to kiss him on the forehead. maybe bepo cries at that LOL

its against bepos nature to refuse any affection from law but he shyly says "you cant do things like that captain" because he loves law so much he wants to kiss him on the lips!!!! and law is like huh?? (cuz bepo never tells him NOT TO do something) "i'm not captain's lover so captain cant do this" "but what if you were, bepo, could i kiss you then?" "what??" "i like bepo the most" and leaning down to kiss him ♥ bepo going full HFSKAJFJFAS????? follows

[moodlesmain]

uhhh hey. you might want to check or have someone check the viva pinata tag for you. bc theres a couple posts there about you and someone else that… arent a good look.

well i looked and can't see anything, which means its probably a post from someone i've had blocked for years at this point and i don't care much for the opinions of any of those people about me and my friends lmao, i'm shocked they even still think about me? Are they posting callouts in 2023 for real over personal stuff from when i was still in my teens? Geez

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Omg megumi and Yuta are my favs after Inumaki LMAO (I’m Lowk salty that we did not get ANY lore exploration of Inumaki but maybe it’s better that way so he stays alive atp)

No the hating mainstream things to be “unique” is so eugh honestly like just because somethings mainstream doesn’t mean it’s basic…but exactly I’ve definitely lost the spark with jjk I think it just got too confusing? And I was losing the essence of the story and idk I know geges said before that that they’ve wanted to end jjk earlier but something about the editor saying no…? I feel like sometimes the lack of motivation kinda peeks through with how the story was done….which I get because writers block/art block and just burn out in general is so real I just wish circumstances were different lmao…

Also yeah the “jjk has the best female characters” ideation…hmm..it’s def better than the blatantly sexualized ones but at this point it kinda feels like a bare minimum/low standard thing that they ARENT sexualized like in most shounen content that makes people say this (i agree like wtf happened with yuki we barely saw her honestly?? Don’t get me started on tsumiki i was expecting them to take a route where maybe she’d actually wake up and play a more conscious role but what the hell was that)

NO LITERALLY im all for analysis and leaving some things open ended but idk in jjk it was just excessive that it turned into confusion like…the constant guessing and insane analysis that needed to be done to clarify things or try to parse things together is not my favorite…agreed that the story should not have to rely on deep level analysis to be understood!

Yeah I’ve definitely lost my emotional ties with jjk its just like well I got this far i might as well see how it ends

LMAO WIGGLY that made me think of a worm on a string but I see what you mean! One track soccer mind doesn’t give much room to explore lolll but it was executed very well hehe

LMAOO it’s the pipeline of shitting on side characters to loving them but I can’t with his hair cut…also don’t think he’s ugly like I guess he’s objectively relatively good looking? But yeah I never fully saw the appeal (it’s funny because I know a good amount of people who prefer him to Rin when I’m the opposite lol) and the Gojo aura LOL

THE ACCURACY IS INSANE the way I would have never known if you didn’t mention it (I don’t think I would’ve even noticed if I wrote it) the fact checking goes crazy LMAO but I love it honestly the research def gives the story more depth and feel to it rather than just a one shot/story that kinda just floats in the void of the universe or something…gives it ties to reality and an actual grounding in the world! (This was worded so badly lmao)

It’s always Karasu….I think it’s partially also because some manga scenes of him are a little goofy because they give him that smile that almost cuts across his entire face to give him that kinda evil looking smirk….and the anime style kinda striking that awkward balance of maintaining those features but not putting enough detail to go full asshole def makes it a little goofy LOL (but in art they put more effort into like the S2 trailer/teaser visual he looks great with all the shading)

And LMAOO IKR!!! I always think back to that I’m like KURONA WAS 4??? Bro wasn’t even on the field in the u20 match so I was Lowk a bit shocked haha, iirc Kiyora was also 5?? Like the discrepancy makes me laugh ik people probably developed during the second selection but the drastic change always gets me

Your tag with the arrow has me feeling idk why I found that so funny LOL

Also SHSHS drowsy allergy medicine is the worst…I hope you weren’t having a severe reaction or anything and also that you feel better soon!!!

-Karasu anon

there’s def a lot of areas where there could be more lore (rika’s character page is so odd??) just because of how many characters there are i think!! but i do feel like the story is wrapping up so some things might just be left as questions. or not, who knows!!

yeah there’s def a cycle of like thing gets popular -> everyone loves it -> it becomes so over saturated that people start hating on it to be different -> it becomes overhated -> in a few years everyone realizes it wasn’t that bad. the biggest problem w the “hating as a trend” is that it takes away from legitimate criticisms of the work, as fans will lump it into general hating for no reason.

besides just analyses being so important for even basic comprehension of the plot, i’ve noticed a lot of the storyline is dependent on random interviews gege has done. like nobara’s death only being confirmed because of an interview years after it was written is RIDICULOUS to me (even though i already thought she was dead tbh but there was enough speculation in the fandom that it obviously wasn’t clear enough in-story). things like interviews and character pages should give you fun additional information that can help you expand on a character (oh rin likes horror games!! karasu is scared of the water!! etc etc) but it shouldn’t be the MAIN source of KEY info on a character. idk i think a lot of people love what jjk could be at this point and not necessarily what it is.

YESS i honestly was not super pleased by the female characters in jjk!! they are cool, and they COULD be well written, but they aren’t. i think in terms of its contemporaries, demon slayer does female characters better than jjk (again, not saying they’re perfect because they aren’t, but, say, shinobu is a stronger character to me than even maki).

jjk is a sunk cost fallacy for me HAHA i’ve been into it for over 2.5 years now so i have to see how it ends but i don’t really care atp what happens 😭 i’m like an unbiased outsider…idk it’s sad i wish i could’ve stayed invested but i only even know leaks are dropping because my social media blows up whenever they do.

OMG i also think rin is better looking than sae but i find sae easier to write for some reason?? idk why 😫 like sae is canonically only interested in soccer at least rin likes horror stuff but honestly between the two of them it feels easier to separate sae from soccer than rin?? if only marginally so hahaha. sae occasionally expresses regret at only knowing abt soccer so i feel like he’d be more willing to open himself to new experiences if sufficiently prodded whereas rin is SO invested in soccer (because soccer = his relationship w his brother) that he doesn’t even seem like he could have a proper friendship w someone let alone an actual relationship 😔

it really is always karasu…i do think manga can get away w exaggerating certain features (ex karasu’s smirk) that anime can’t so they have to figure out a way to balance it — maybe it’s the static nature of manga vs the motion of anime?? although karasu hasn’t been smirking much in pxg vs bm 😕 give my boy his swag otoya back!! HAHA but i also think he was such a background character in that one scene of season one that they just didn’t gaf abt him. he’s looked really good in all of the s2 promotional material so i have faith he will be done well!!

KURONA AND KIYORA MY RANDOM AHH KINGS 🙏🏻 they came outta nowhere but they’re slaying atm…ig the hundred goal thing only tested a very specific aspect of playing soccer?? like shooting without anyone on you which doesn’t really translate to an actual game 🤔 like in bllk vs u20 they needed defenders and midfielders who wouldn’t necessarily score but were integral to the game 👆🏻 plus they didn’t all go in at the same time so better players like tabieitaken and shidou were ranked lower than randoms like tokimitsu probably just because they entered later 🤷🏻‍♀️

it wasn’t that bad!! i just got like overwhelmingly sleepy because i haven’t taken any in forever so i just crashed instead of staying up longer like i usually so haha. but i’m hoping to get the one shot out soon!! it’s pretty dumb but more karasu content is more karasu content 🤩

[doomsdayradio]

I posted 8,612 times in 2022

That's 8,491 more posts than 2021!

846 posts created (10%)

7,766 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cluster-b-culture-is

@rozugold

@ghostly-tart

@hpdtsumiki

I tagged 8,592 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 7,672 posts

#🧋 - 3,136 posts

#❓ - 1,311 posts

#stim tag - 1,178 posts

#words words words !! - 892 posts

#vent - 693 posts

#fav - 572 posts

#🧋🎵 - 486 posts

#music spin - 473 posts

#traumacore - 386 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#last night i had a dream the earth split in half and the world was pretty much ending 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ also smth smth the umbrella academy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

its so bitterly funny to me that histrionic personality disorder, the disorder where the main thing is attention seeking behavior, gets so little attention/awareness surrounding it

144 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

#4

do you ever wonder how many people who got sucked into narc abuse communities who were raised by "narcissistic" (abusive/toxic) parents actually have npd? npd is literally a trauma disorder 99% of the time, theres an extremely likely chance some of these people have npd but have been convinced they couldnt possibly because "if you think youre a narcissist, thats proof you arent." and obviously having npd/being a narcissist is a death sentence that means youre abusive /s. feels kinda anti-recovery ngl. 💀

177 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#3

anyways i think we should be able to acknowledge the misogynistic roots of hysteria and how that relates to the history of histrionic personality disorder without completely discounting, dismissing, and invalidating people who actually have hpd and actually fucking struggle with the symptoms lmao

at the end of the day i literally still struggle with an intense need for attention and pretty much most, if not all, of the criteria for hpd 💀 this is my very real lived experience and struggle, claiming thats not real isnt fucking fair or right

have some fucking nuance, folks

200 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#2

Parents will be like "You can't have DID your trauma wasn't that bad" my brother in christ you made the alters

297 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

btw happy diability pride month to people with personality disorders

happy disability pride month to people with ppd

happy disability pride month to people with szpd

happy disability pride month to people with stpd

happy disability pride month to people with aspd

happy disability pride month to people with bpd

happy disability pride month to people with hpd

happy disability pride month to people with npd

happy disability pride month to people with avpd

happy disability pride month to people with dpd

happy disability pride month to people with ocpd

happy disability pride month to people with pdnos

happy disability pride month to people with more than one personality disorder

ive seen a lot of people imply or out right say pds arent disabilities, and while some people with pds might not consider themselves disabled by it, its important to recognize and support those of us who do

so happy disbility pride month to yall <3

wether youre professionally dx or self dx, may your symptoms be manageable and the stigma burn o7

776 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kwanisms]

I posted 2,635 times in 2022

That's 1,877 more posts than 2021!

100 posts created (4%)

2,535 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jinhyun

@changbeens

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@jjunis

I tagged 658 of my posts in 2022

#stray kids - 75 posts

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Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i cant imagine how stressful and scary it would be to be stranded in a foreign country after your agency cancels your flight home

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

"you can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore"

49 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

Hiraeth Masterlist

➥ 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐮

summary: Moon Byeoli lives in Busan with her best friend Jamie Park. Their neighbor is Park Sungjin. Growing up, Byeoli has never really believed in the supernatural, always finding a logical explanation for the things that go bump in the night. Her life is about to be thrown out of control when new neighbors move in across the hall. What will happen when Byeoli befriends them and learns that they aren't exactly... human.

pairing: sungjin x oc x hyunjin

warnings: adult language, alcohol consumption, supernatural themes, implied sexual content, see each chapter for further warnings ⚠️

start date: 2022.09.09

end date: tba

updates every friday and saturday @ 7PM CST

a/n: times and dates DO NOT matter!! all photos are taken from pinterest. all photos used for Moon Byeoli are of Nguyen Thanh Thuy from Instagram. she owns all rights to these photos and I am only using them for entertainment purposes.

add your name to the taglist

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twt profiles: 01 || 02

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chapters

(pw) partially written | (w) written

prologue 01

01: too fast for ya Bobby Boy (pw)

02: can it Bob the Builder

03: calm down Spanish Inquisition

04: hot damn. howdy 🤠

05: just let things be

06: yeah shut up Jackson

07: …IN HELL????

08: please tell Perry I love him

09: SOS COME IN JIMJAMS

10: watermelon sugar BYE

11: had some deer

12: clear intent

13: tiny star

14: is that a challenge??

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49 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

#3

"if you wish to seduce an angel, you must play the part of a devil"

52 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#2

All You Have to Do is Ask - k.jh

summary: your boyfriend ruined dinner

pairing: female reader x yesung

genres/themes: idolverse, established relationship, smut (minors dni), fluff at the end, yesung's real name is Jong-hoon (for those that don't know)

wc: 1.5k

warnings: explicit language, graphic sex, mentions of alcohol, slight praise kink, some dirty talk, unprotected sex (use protection!), creampie, and I'm including this in the warnings: Yesung is an older idol, so if the idea of having sex with someone near 40 bothers you, don't read this lmao I'm like 9 years younger than him so it doesn't bother me to read or write for older idols

a/n: hi, this is my first SuJu smut so pls be gentle. SUPER JUNIOR IS A 2ND GEN KPOP GROUP AND AS SUCH, THEY ARE THE OLDEST GROUP I'M WRITING FOR. IF THEIR AGES BOTHER YOU, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE LOL I'M ALMOST 30 SO THEY ARENT MUCH OLDER THAN ME AND IF THAT BOTHERS YOU, GET OFF MY BLOG. We don't accept ageism here. this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. gif isnt mine. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

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[21:18]

Ruined. That was the only word for it. Dinner was completely ruined and it was all your boyfriend's fault.

He'd gone out immediately after practice to grab a bottle of wine before coming home to your shared apartment. You had told him you were making your favorite pasta for dinner and were excited for him to try it.

What you hadn't expected was him to come home, bottle of wine in hand only to slam the bottle on the counter and jump you the moment his eyes landed on you.

You should have expected it honestly. You knew your black dress was a little short, barely reaching the middle of your thighs and you can only imagine how frustrated he must have been to immediately start attacking your neck in wet kisses, tongue running over your skin as his hands grabbed the material of your dress in his fists before he pulled you from the stove and turned you against the counter to kiss you properly.

It was only a few moments later he had you bent over the same counter, skirt hiked up, panties ripped off and lying in a mangled mess on the hardwood floor. Your boyfriend stood behind you, one hand on your hip, the other holding your dress in a clenched fist as he thrust into you from behind.

You buried your head in your arm, moans tumbling from your lips as you felt the tip of his cock nudge against your sensitive spot. "Fuck," you heard him curse from behind you, voice barely audible of the sound of skin hitting skin filling the kitchen. "Goddamn, baby," he growled.

You glanced over your shoulder, peering back at Yesung, the sight of him losing himself completely sending more heat to your core and your walls clenched around him, spurring him on. You loved when he gave himself over to pleasure entirely.

The way his brow furrowed, the way he bit his bottom lip as he tried to focus on the quality of his thrusts. It was always quality over quantity with him in everything he did. He preferred to do things right rather than how quickly he could do them.

And that extended into sex with you.

Every angled thrust and slow deep roll of his hips made you see stars from beginning to end. He knew your body. He knew every inch of skin, knew how to tease you, how to draw out the most lewd sounds from you, whether it was with his tongue, his fingers, or his cock.

Your head dropped, a slew of moans and causes falling from your lips as you felt your orgasm approaching. Yesung must have felt it in the way your walls convulsed around him as he continued to pound into you, savoring the sight of himself disappearing inside you.

He hadn't planned on fucking you as soon as he got home. The plan was to take a shower while you finished cooking and then join you for a nice home-cooked meal and a glass of wine but when he saw you in that black dress, the short one that barely covered your ass and left your thighs completely exposed, he just couldn't hold back.

Practice had been particularly rough, tensions high amongst him and the other members as they prepared for their comeback. Heechul had been getting on their nerves, making snarky comments from the side whenever someone got the choreography wrong despite him not even dancing with them.

They had ended practice a little earlier than usual because they were all tired, annoyed, and tense. When Yesung had seen your text that you were making him dinner and asked you to pick up a nice bottle of red, he jumped at the chance to finally unwind after the last few days.

He didn't expect that he'd be fucking his frustrations out but you didn't seem to be complaining with how you moaned out his name, his real name, your hands trying to hold onto something to ground yourself against the onslaught of his hips but the smooth surface of the white marble countertops made that entirely impossible, leaving you to the mercy of his grip.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" he growled, voice low and husky. You let out a whimper, shaking your head quickly. "N-no," you stammered, your voice shaky. "I swear I d-didn't."

"Why else would you wear something so short?" he asked, giving you a particularly hard thrust, making you cry out. "If not to tease me, then what? Were you expecting someone else to see?" Yesung grunted, ignoring a bead of sweat that rolled down the side of his face. Though he'd cooled off from practice, here he was sweating all over again.

Though he'd much rather be fucking you than stuck in the practice room with eight other men, all as crabby as he was.

"N-no!" you mewled, letting out a gasp when you felt Yesung's hand grab your hair and tug you back, his other hand moving to cup your chin as he leaned over your back. "Did you expect me to bring home the guys?" he murmured in your ear, sending chills down your spine. "N-no, Jong-hoon, I swear," you squeaked out. You heard him hum in your ear, the hand in your hair moving around to the front of your body, pressing against your stomach, pulling you against him as he continued to thrust into you hard and slow.

"So you'd never wear this for any of them?" he asked, holding back a chuckle when you shook your head. "Never. Only f-for you," you whimpered. "You're such a good girl," he cooed, his voice sweet in contrast with the way his hips moved, driving his cock deeper and deeper into your wet cunt.

"Are you gonna be a good little slut and come for me?" he whispered. You nodded quickly. "I'm gonna cum, Hoonie," you moaned, the nickname making him groan as he let go of your chin and wrapped both arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he hastily chased his high.

See the full post

53 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

genre: smut, fluff, established relationship, bf!Hongjoong

pairing: Hongjoong × (gn) reader

wc: 963 (we short, so sorry)

warnings: smut (minors dni), cockwarming, slight exhibitionism, semi public, adult language, cuddly Woosan and Yungi, and I think that's it lol

a/n: I'm just catering to my friends who are going thru it over Hongjoong 😌 this one's for you @yoonguurt & @leadinglady17 ♥️

See the full post

171 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bayheart]

(pls pretend im not posting this on november 1st </3) halloween-themed art trade i did with my pal yuba (@/robo_ram_ranch on twitter)!!!!!

we each sketched our favs in a halloween costume and the other lined+colored it :D i sketched ratchet and lined+colored megs, and she sketched megs and lined+colored ratchet!!!

neither of them are wearing these costumes of their own free will. please help them

[thatdeadaquarius]

HELLO IT IS I AGAIN (Razor's mom /real)

So you know those imposters aus where characters chase the reader for being an 'impersonator'?

What if... It's a continuation from my ask (where we meet Razor first before everyone), and Razor is just confused at the patrolling knights near Wolvendom constantly asking him if he have saw 'the impostor'

Tbh he just shakes his head. Who tf is the impostor????? Wtf is an impostor???????

Many question marks later..

He had encountered an epiphany (not really it's just the Springvale ppl talking about someone copying the creator's looks).

The 'Impostor' they have been searching is you.

But you're not an impostor! Razor knows it! Andrius knows it! And with how the nature and the monster responded to you, Teyvat knows it too!

So like the good son he is, he sheltered you even more severely.

Ur not allowed to go out of his sights at this point (he'll still take you to places with many lampgrasses if you still wanna make a crown w it)

And my imagination ends there, do you think there's something else he'd do?

Ty for answering my last request btw, ur the best and I hope you get your favorite characters w one 10 pull and your desired artifacts w the best stats <3

Much love and sweets

-Razor's mom

RAZOR'S MOM!! HELLO aw im so glad u liked it :)

Srry about the late reply! 💜💜💜

Ok, so I think this is a good time to point to my shiny

Writing Requests/About Me Post I have pinned on my 👉 blog!!👈💅 taaa daaaa :) i did it guys here ya go

Yall have been GREAT so far abt keeping the requests chill and fun, and i dont have that many "Donts" that arent obvious (homophobia, transphobia, ableism,etc)

♡

Dont worry Razor Mom, i just wanted to use this as a way to talk about this!! /nm /gen

♡

About Imposter AU, there are plenty of other blogs/posts that write for that or posts under SAGAU tag! :)

I said wayyy earlier on in some of my first asks, but basically I really want to lighten up the Genshin SAGAU / Isekai tag and branch out from all these darker Imposter AUs :)

And also add more world-building posts or AUs <3

(language brainrot for example)!!

◇

TL;DR: I am not accepting hunting down/yandere/cult au/imposter au Genshin Sagau, only a funny or chill version of it.

Please check my writing rules post :)

Example: u look like Creator, but everybody's like, "oh lucky them wow rlly blessed, have a free drink, etc.

OR omfg where r they?? They descended to Teyvat oh fuck we lost our god-"

♡

Heres the Razor post !!!

If u wanna check it out :]

Cracks knuckles, Saddle up Baby, bc its time for my version of the Imposter AU 🤭😋😈

(and sorry for answering super late/possible scare Razor mom anon!! :'/ )

♡

So it begins rlly small right?

Like, Razor does not know the new knight patroling Wolvendom's borders

,, weird but ok, he thinks basically

And then when it was time to visit some domains a little closer to Springvale for grinding

(Or rlly just to get some of their tiny restaurants homemade food yumm)

He notices more Favonius knights lurking around than usual

Or at least widening their patrols

And hes like wtf?

Ur like, huh.

I'll ask Springvale ppl wtf goin on

The locals respond that the search for the Great Creator has begun.

...

...you and Razor: 👁👄👁 w h o m s t ❔️

◇

Upon further questioning

(which was apparantly weird that yall didnt know, but eh, u just used the whole "feral wolf child with feral blacksmith parent living in woods ignorance" excuse)

Admittedly yall, quite literally, live under a rock lmao

They explain theres a whole ass prophecy

Abt how the Great Architect would succumb to a long slumber somewhere else in the vast universe after making the planet.

And when the time is right, they will reconnect to Teyvat, and awaken, and descend in a mortal form

(like the archons)

◇

..but the kicker is nobody knows wtf they look like bc:

1. All that lore is hella crumbly and old, and very hard to translate

2. Mortal forms sometimes look different than god forms, so even if they did know some defining features of the Creator, that wasnt guaranteed to be them...

◇

(i.e. they will have brown eyes, well. Thats a fuckton of ppl with brown eyes innit? 💀)

♤

So thru certain signs, that this mysterious prophecy wooooo

Said would happen, the nations of Teyvat and their many supernatural inhabitants are aware the ultimate god has descended

(The crops flourished? Animals got more wily, many of the sick ppl got better for no reason, the Irminsul started regrowing/filling out its base- like how it looked like a lightning struck tree rn 💀)

So every country are now trying to find them to be the first to welcome them home

Needless to say its lowkey a competition

◇

Meanwhile you and Razor are just:

... (゜▽゜;)

"Haha yeah cool..."

(Andrius already told u what u r to Teyvat and explained to Razor)

Ur both immediately slapping a cloak on u and keeping the hood up all the time

Yall dont wanna be seperated :(

Ur both paranoid for diff reasons,

Razor's just scared his Lupical is going to be taken from him again bc there r better, more refined humans wanting to be ur Lupical ;-;

And ur like-

Omfg that sounds like sm work 💀

While its nice to daydream abt what itd be like to be famous, realistically,

U could not handle that shit.

People crowding you all the time?

U cant just look busted anywhere u go, like a midnight snack run

Ppl would also expect u be,

Responsible??

To act like a competent ruler maybe???

Hell no.

U just wanted to play a pretty gacha game and spoil ur skrunklies

(At least, if they do wanna call u that, they dont make u do anything political 💀 but u doubt it)

◇

Needless to say, Razor is glued to ur side everywhere u go.

A domain a half mile away? Oh he'll come with dw

Ur gonna go stop by that food merchant further up the road for ingredients? Cool he'll sniff the best ones!

Ur going to see Andrius??

Oh he needed to see him too-

😭😭🥺🥺 poor babe

♧

Surprisingly enough,

Or maybe not his house is right tf there

Diluc is the first person to actually recognize you.

Razor had been subtly steering u away from Mondstadt for 3 weeks now, ever since yall talked to the Springvale locals

An u cant say u didnt notice, but u werent rlly stopping him

You wanted to be like Venti, chillin among the ppl regardless of ur powers, not the Raiden Shogun :/

And maybe shock some ppl who dont know ur a god like him too lol

◇

Diluc had been looking around the lesser patroled areas of Mondstadt to search for the Architect

He didn't even need those incompetent knights to tell him their god had finally descended

He already saw the signs long before Mondstadt

Bc youve been in Wolvendom, the area has flourished over time, more fish in the water, more game to hunt and bigger, crows making circles in the sky despite there being no corpse

And one of the closest places to you,

Is the Dawn Winery.

Diluc's security against Venti began to hold up better, the staff didn't have to clean as much things like dirt or weather damage to the manor,

His hawk had never been faster delivering his letters, he almost thought the little guy had been drugged with something

◇

He patroled Stormterror's Lair, and deep in the woods surrounding the manor that the knights hadn't bother to go into

Afterall, he figured you'd never had a mortal form before, so u were unlikely to fend for urself for very long in the woods lol

so he wanted to find u quick (aww softy :')

He even made a trip out to the Thousand Wind Temple and Dragonspine (he did report that one to the knights, he didn't want Amber, Bennett, or Creator-forbid Klee, being the few pyro users to have to explore it)

Finally, after doing the further away locations, siginificant in history and rich with leftover magic

Diluc figured that's where you might land first, so he saved Wolvendom for last

It would at least let him check on that wolf kid and maybe get to talk to him long enough to ask him if he's seen anything unusual.

The lord of Dawn Winery manor heads into the Wolvendom woods, just as sunset colors the trees...

◇

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting, the weather was pleasant and it was time for all of the Lupical to come together and eat a big feast!! :)

About once a month, Andrius will come out for a few nights and dine with all of yall

Hes an old wolf give him a break, he takes long naps

So u cook lots of Mondstadt favorites to eat on and a few Liyue dishes too

Razor, ur favorite helper, has helped u finish the last dish and is now romping around with the puppies bless <3

U guys have dragged ur coffee table dining table setup out to sit and eat at

Andrius lets out a not too loud, not too quiet howl, and as the wolves, Razor and you lmao join in

Yall dig in, bones flying everywhere, spagetti noodles flingling around, it would put toddlers to shame lol

◇

Diluc hears a howl that is too... big to be a regular wolf.

It filled the air of Wolvendom like no howl before it, as he used the glowing lampgrass to help light the path deeper

He sneaks past a hilichurl camp or two, all fast asleep

He scans the woods, and figures he'll search the woods besides the path after he gets to that old stone carved pit-

Food?

Diluc sniffs the air, and squints deeper into the forest

The black branches shade the way ahead, but just barely... he can see the flicker of orange and blue light?

He summons his claymore, bracing it on his shoulder, and creeps into the treeline to better hide him

◇

You swear to god (dammit swear to.. you??) someone is watching you.

You look around the piles of fluffy doggos, happy and stuffed full they r slowly forming puppy piles

Andrius is finishing his meat platter, also sitting on all four legs on the ground

Razor is splayed on his back beside you, eyes closed, his feet sticking out the other side of the table, u chuckle at him

But not a single Lupical seems to be looking at you.

Gulping down your last few bites, you scan the treeline

U refuse to be that bitch in a horror movie where their gut says smth is off and they brush it off or barely look at their surroundings

Turning around to the treeline behind you, u see something... red fur?

U sit up some more, peering over the bushes at the bottom of the trees

You meet a pair of warm brown eyes, widened like they're just as shocked to see you

As u notice his familiar red high ponytail (but also not?? Its weird going from 2D to 3D and still recognizing bitches)

U peer down at his chest, as he carefully stands out of the foliage-

That familiar star shaped button that u can press for the character menu screen, the same thats on Razor, on Benny, on Fischl, on Lisa-

Hovers over Diluc's chest.

◇

Diluc is in the bush, observing the human(???) stranger (he really doesnt want to attract the attention of that.. giant spirit wolf thing)

The figure sitting at a ... table?? (He can barely process all these absurdities at once, hes only got so much brain space)

Has sensed his presence, and as he grips his claymore, ready to demand answers,

Razor startles, and jumps up, smelling the pyro user, he summons his weapon-

The figure locks eyes with him, and all he sees is gold.

Diluc drops his claymore.

☆

♡

☆

Have a cliffhanger bc idk 🤷‍♂️ Also srry it wasnt exactly Mondstadt finding u, and it somehow turned into a whole scenario?? Idk man

🤧 welp i hope that was decent Razor mom! Tysm for ur sweet feedback abt our beloved son 🙏💜🐺

Feel free to always talk again, thru comments, asks whatever!! :D

♡

Cheers,

💀♒️

(guys im so stupid i coud've been signing off with this simple emoji combo the whole time,, 😭i didnt actually think abt emojifying my name, just making it look pretty with some of my fav emojis... 😔)

If anyone reads this u should let me know which one is better lol

💀♒️

OR

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

OR like a combo???

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[scrambled-eggsed]

Good thing: being lgbtq+ is more acceptable than average in my school so lots of students feel comfortable being visibly queer

Fact: i know (tbh mostly know of) many girls in my year who are into girls, whom i am not friends with (as in, the complicated factor of "ruining our friendship blah blah blah" doesn't exist)

Not really on the level of a truly bad thing, just kinda. Meh: all that means that I'm just not popular enough to get asked out:,) guess being the weird socially awkward kid lasts even after elementary school

[jarvis-cockhead]

no offense but if somethings from the 50s its automatically better than everything else

[virmillion]

Bubble Tea

alternative title - lab has never read nor written a coffee shop AU, but here’s something thats basically the same with a different menu

Ships: romantic prinxiety, platonic royality, platonic analogical (mentioned), romantic logicality (mentioned)

Warnings: none that i know of, let me know if you have any

Words: 8175

Check it out on ao3!

    “Large honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles.” These are the words imprinted on the inside of Roman’s eyelids when he shuts his eyes to go to sleep every night. That same guy that comes in, never the same time, every single day, with the exact same order. A smile, a word of thanks, and he’s gone. Roman presses the heels of his hands to his temples, blinking at the cash register. The guy is late.

    Okay, to be fair, Roman took this job because Patton swore the hours were good. Bonus time to people watch was just a happy coincidence. He swirls the oversized straw around in his orange-filled cup, looking at the bakery across the way. For a bubble tea store nestled in the most remote part of a mall that can’t decide whether it’s aimed at toddler hipsters or adult rock stars, they certainly get a fair amount of business. The pink and purple LED sign casts a pale glow on the shiny linoleum floor outside.

    “Hi, what can I get for you?” His voice sounds almost robotic, the introduction rehearsed and done to death as Roman stands to greet the customer. Looking at the woman, her shirt the type of thing one might call a blouse—he’d always hated that word—Roman already knows what she’s going to say. A fair amount of his willpower goes into not mouthing the words along with her.

    “Just the usual, thanks. I have somewhere to be, so could you make it quick?”

    Rather than say what he wants to—I have literally never seen you before in my entire life—Roman smiles. “Sorry, could you remind me what your usual is?”

    “A milk tea.” The woman rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed with the absolute incompetence of the fools and imbeciles populating Roman’s generation. The polka dot umbrella tucked under her arm bounces with her barely contained sigh.

    “Okay, what type of tea? What size? What flavor? Extra tapioca?” Roman tries not to let his eyes drift to the clock, whose minute hand dwindles away to closing time all too slowly.

    “Milk tea. I just said that, and a small. Just a milk tea.”

    “Ma’am, I need to know what kind of tea you want in the milk tea. Green or black tea? We don’t serve smalls, only regulars and larges.”

    “That’s ridiculous. Just give me a green milk tea in your smallest cup, what do you even mean that I need to pick a flavor?”

    “If you look under the milk tea section, you’ll see the flavors. Almond, chocolate, chai, pineapple, any of those suit your fancy?” Roman gestures to the menu with a cupped hand, a habit from some facebook article he read about Disney world—that the workers couldn’t point with one finger, since that was rude in some cultures. Two fingers or the whole arm. He had never bothered to verify this, of course, and instead adopted the mannerism as his own. He didn’t have time to check facts that weren’t immediately hurting him. “And do you want extra tapioca?”

    “No extra whatever. Just give me a chai in your smallest cup. Quickly.” The woman shoves a fistful of bills in his face, already tapping away at her phone. Rather than throw the change back with just as much vigor, the way he would love to, Roman does the polar opposite. He gives her a sickeningly sweet smile and gingerly hands back the coins, throwing caution to the wind as he prances about preparing her stupid not-small chai milk tea with green tea and no extra whatever.

    “Here’s your drink, have a nice day!” Roman props a hand under his chin, using the other to do that weird vertical one-hand-clapping wave. The woman snatches the cup from the counter and stabs an oversized straw through it, muttering a “yeah” as she goes.

    “Doesn’t even bother to make the straw color correspond to the flavor color,” Roman mutters, tsking to himself. “No sense of decorum.” The second hand on the clock ticks ever closer to closing time, leaving only five minutes of cushion before someone barrels into the makeshift room, sneakers squeaking against the floor as they skid to a stop.

    Roman waves off the worried look in his eyes with a laugh. “We’re still open, no worries. Large honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles?” He’s already ringing it up before the kid can nod. “No problem, just give me a sec.”

    As he shakes up the pastel green mixture, Roman allows his focus to drift to his peripherals, where the kid slumps into one of the rickety metal chairs with wood for a cushion. Judging by the sopping mop of hair on him, it’s probably pouring buckets outside, but Roman knows better than to make light conversation. He tried that the first few times he had a shift, but most people just offered that polite half smile that said ‘I don’t really want to talk right now, but I’ll humor you with conversation if it keeps you from spitting in my drink.’ Roman could respect that.

    That common attitude is what keeps Roman from commenting on the smears of grey on the guy’s fingers as he takes the drink, grabbing a reddish pink straw with it. Whether he wanted to emulate Italy or Christmas or something else with his color combination, Roman doesn’t question it. He only watches the guy go, sneakers squeaking once more when he stops for something on the floor. Judging by the brown shine, probably a penny from that curt lady before. Roman stays there, eyes lingering on the opening in place of a door, long after the guy has disappeared into the more populous section of the mall. Thoughts of honeydew dance on a highwire in his mind.

    “Roman? What are you still doing here? You were supposed to close five minutes ago.” Roman blinks, his eyes finally registering the nothingness he’d been staring at. Yes, in fact, the lights of the bakery are already dimmed, the slushie machine humming a mournful tune in the dark.

    “Yeah. Um. Yeah, just hang on.” Roman absently clicks off everything that makes a sound, probably missing some stuff in the process. No big deal, it’s not like the mall would notice a little more money being spent on lighting a bubble tea shop. “Okay, let’s go.”

    “You, uh, you wanna turn off the lights?” Roman blinks again, glancing up. Shockingly enough, the lights were still on. Why hadn’t someone invented something to make them do that automatically yet? Somebody really should get on that, at least for his convenience if nothing else.

    “Yeah. Um. Yeah.” Roman leans behind the door of the little office space to drop the room into darkness. Only the light of the pink sunset cracks through the mall. “Okay, let’s go.”

    “Why are you repeating yourself so much? Something happen?” Swinging around the counter to join his friend, Roman’s mind wanders. His eyes linger on the smudged glasses on his friend’s face, never clean for more than a moment. A cookie crumb sits by his lips, probably forgotten amidst the excitement of helping a whole three people in one day. His friend waves a hand at Roman, using the other to tug a scarf around his neck.

    “Hello, earth to Roman? Dial in, troops.”

    “Sorry, Pat. Just thinking.”

    “So something did happen.”

    “I will neither confirm nor deny that.” Patton huffs, looping the grey scarf through itself as they approach the front doors. Rain hammers down in sheets.

    “You literally have an entire car ride back to the dorms to think on it, so you might as well start spilling now.”

    Roman seizes the opportunity, sprinting out into the angry tears of the sky. “Sorry, I can’t hear you, the clouds are too loud!” He easily beats Patton to the bright blue car, tugging on the door handle. Locked. He tugs again and again, impatient for Patton to open the darn thing. Of course, once he does, Roman manages to tug the handle at the exact same time, locking it again anyway. Roman groans, forcing patience into himself as Patton unlocks it again.

    “I am not starting this car until you tell me what’s going on.”

    “Honeydew.”

    “Again? I thought you decided to leave well enough alone.” Patton sets the car in gear and takes off from the parking lot, the windshield wipers pulsing in tandem with Roman’s heart.

    “He came in really late today, I’m worried something’s up.” Playing around with some game on his phone, Roman sighs. “He seems so cool, you know? Like, just looking at him, you can tell in his eyes that he’s somewhere else. He’s got, like, a whole world up there, and I just want to peek inside.” He turns his head to Patton as the car rolls to a stop for a red light. “Don’t make that face. I don’t need to hear about how lovestruck I am or whatever. Stop making that face. Patton, I swear to God, if you don’t stop making that face, I will forcibly eject myself from this car and let all the rain soak your fancy leather seats.”

    “They’re cloth,” Patton shoots back, still smiling to himself as the light turns green. “You’re smitten and you know it.”

    “I don’t know anything.”

    “You said it, not me.” Patton spins the dial for the radio, settling on some alternative band with a decently low volume as the sound of rain floods the car. “I think you should say something. Just ask how his day was, make small talk or something. You already know his usual, asking about the weather isn’t that far of a stretch.”

    Sliding down further in his seat, Roman props his shoes up on the dashboard. He ignores Patton’s protests of the possible harm that might come if they were to get in an accident. “Perfect, they can pay off my tuition, plus my parents will have one less name to cram on the Christmas cards.”

    “That’s not the attitude you’re supposed to take.”

    “And yet.” Roman lets the rain’s hammering crescendo in his head, a drumbeat with no rhythm to accompany the wordless music in his head.

~~~~~

    The next day, Roman rolls into the bubble tea place five minutes before his shift starts, the bags under his eyes heavy from exhaustion and the nuisance that is class. The person he takes over for barely blinks, shucking the uniform hat and finishing up whatever they had going on behind the counter. Roman takes the barest hint of a nod for a collective greeting, farewell, and show of gratitude as the person leaves. He mirrors it.

    “Hi, what can I get for you?” The words are out of his mouth before he registers who he’s looking at. Honeydew.

    “Could I get, hm, how about a large cotton candy milk tea with green tea and regular tapioca?” Roman works quickly to not look so taken aback at the change in request. What happened to his Honeydew?

    “Right away.” His motions feel stiff and unrehearsed, so unaccustomed to a break in routine from this guy. For as long as Roman’s worked here, he’s ordered the same thing. “Here you go.”

    The guy slides a lilac straw from the basket to match the light blue froth. “Thanks.” Rather than leaving as he always does, the guy takes a seat at one of the cheap chairs, slinging a backpack down from his shoulders and pulling a notebook from it. Roman fights not to look at him, forcing his eyes to drift to the flickering lights, the logo painted on the wall, the same penny on the floor. Heads up, in the same place it was yesterday. Maybe the guy didn’t stop for it, then.

    Over the course of an hour or so, the guy sips at his drink, scribbling away at his book. From the angle it’s propped on his curled knees, Roman can’t tell whether he’s writing or drawing, but whatever the activity, it’s done more intently than Roman’s ever seen someone else do anything. The only thing to interrupt Roman’s vigil of watching the guy is serving the occasional customer, most of them with wildly better moods than the woman yesterday. Granted, one rolls their eyes when he informs them they dropped a coin, and they didn’t even stop to retrieve it, but still.

In the rare moments that the radio switches from elevator music to more alternative songs, the guy’s head bobs to the beat, just barely enough to be visible. So absorbed is the guy in his work that he doesn’t notice Roman studying him to his heart’s content. He doesn’t notice Roman’s eyes falling down that lock of dyed purple hair, or tracing how it frames the tired squint of his eyes. He doesn’t notice Roman taking a careful inventory of every stitch in his clothes, a rare blessing that the worker seldom gets with the guy’s short visits. He doesn’t notice Roman admiring the drawings on his sneakers, clearly done in varying types of sharpie.

    When the last tapioca pearls vanish up his straw and the notebook disappears into his bag once more, the boy approaches the counter again. “Okay, now I’ll take a large—”

    “Large honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles, coming right up.” Roman recoils internally from his overeager self, setting about preparing the drink in embarrassed silence. “Here you go.”

    “Thanks.” Before the boy—Honeydew, Roman decides, that must be his name—before Honeydew can grab a reddish pink straw, Roman pipes up again.

    “We’re running low on our straws and the next shipment doesn’t come in until tomorrow, but we’ve got some white ones if you want a white bubble green drink white straw palindrome style thing.” A mental hand slap accompanies the embarrassment. “Um.”

    To Roman’s relief, Honeydew gives a nose exhale of a laugh. “Good point. Thanks again.” Just like the day before, Honeydew pauses by something shiny on the floor—probably the coin someone dropped earlier—and sets off on his merry way. The rest of Roman’s shift is a gross over analyzation of why Honeydew ordered something other than honeydew, and had the audacity to order it after anyway. Was he mad? Was he having a bad day? Did he get in a car accident which led to him being in the hospital which led to him having blood tests and they found out through some freak perfume accident that he was allergic to honeydew and it was slowly killing him from the inside despite his genuine love of the drink and absolutely no symptoms to demonstrate any danger to his health?

    Roman is overthinking again.

    “Regular honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles, please.” The familiar giggle behind the voice stops Roman in his tracks.

    “Close, but he gets a large.” Patton grins, waving a five at Roman anyway.

    “Just get me whatever you like best, so I can know what I’m missing out on.”

    “Patton, you tried bubble tea five years ago and swore off the stuff ever since because of how weird the texture is.”

    “Irrelevant.” Another laugh bubbles out of Patton as Roman pretends to add some coins to the mixing cup before reaching for the taro powder.

    “It’s kind of like vanilla, but I think you’ll like it.” Roman shakes his head at the offered money from Patton, holding out a hand with his palm up. “We both know what I want.”

    “You drive a hard bargain, my good sir.” Patton obediently places a triangular chocolate chip cookie in Roman’s hand, taking the drink in exchange. “Any new Honeydew stories?”

    “Well, for one, I finally decided to start calling him Honeydew in my head, so that’s certainly a thing that’s happening now.” Roman folds his arms over the glass box covering the ice cream, relishing in how the cold bites at his skin. “He ordered something different, scribbled in a notebook for, like, an hour, got his usual, and left.”

    “That’s it? Come on, give me the juice! At least tell me you found out his name, where he lives, what he drives, whether he goes here, all that good stuff?” Patton drums his fingertips on the glass counter in unrestrained anticipation as Roman pauses their conversation to help yet another person that’s never heard of tapioca or politeness before.

    Roman calls out a generic “Have a nice day” before turning his attention back to Patton. “Literally nothing. Come find me again tomorrow. Isn’t your break over yet?”

    Patton glances back at his bakery, at the line forming in front of the register, at the impatiently tapping feet. “Shoot, yeah, okay. You get off easy this time, but I’m hounding you tomorrow.”

    “As if we don’t carpool here and back anyway,” Roman retorts, busying himself with the next customer. Even as he serves black tea and iced tea and slushies, the back of his mind always lingers on Honeydew. On that small strand of hair tracing just under his eyes. On the careful curl of his shoulders to shield the book. On what must have been graphite smudged on his hand. On the almost-laugh. Roman made him almost laugh. New goal, Roman decides, I’m going to make him real laugh.

~~~~~

    The simplest solution to Roman’s newest life goal would be to tell a joke. Roman, however, is an utterly hopeless romantic, and he isn’t entirely convinced that his parents weren’t psychic to the point of knowing as much when they named him. Regardless of his parents preternatural abilities, or lack thereof, this means that Roman had a veritable five pages of notebook paper filled with possible conversation starters, jokes, and anything else his brain spat onto the page at three in the morning. In spite of his admittedly unnecessary and ultimately unintelligible planning, Roman is completely unprepared when Honeydew strolls in, backpack in hand. He drops it on the same chair as yesterday and stands against the wall, considering the menu while Roman finishes serving the customer that was there first.

    “Large vanilla milk tea with green tea and regular tapioca, please,” Honeydew says, rolling up to the register. He smiles as the customer before him, a mother with a young child, bound out of the store, but not before the kid stops to pick up a couple of coins of the ground.

    “They’re heads up!” she exclaims, showing off the shiny treasures alongside an even shinier grin full of teeth. Her mother smiles pack, reminding her to put them somewhere safe, ‘for blackmail against the tooth fairy.’ Roman bites his lips to keep from giggling, but Honeydew lets a snicker fall out. Roman resolves to get an even louder laugh than that.

    “Thanks much.” Honeydew allows just the corner of his mouth to curve up, a perfect reflection of that same strand of hair dangling down. Taking up a position identical to that from yesterday, Honeydew sets about scrawling in that same notebook. In mere minutes, the graphite stains his hands. Roman casts a hesitant glance to the bakery, where Patton waggles his eyebrows to the point that his customer looks a little concerned. Once they have their cookies and go, Patton shoos his hands in a ‘go on, then’ gesture, not at all subtle in how quickly he darts his eyes between Roman and Honeydew. Roman throws his own arms up with a huff, sticking his tongue out at Patton. He realizes a moment too late that Honeydew is giving him a quirked eyebrow while biting his lips.

    “Nothing!” Roman answers the question no one asked, that no one had planned to ask, and buries his face in his cell phone, certain his face is burning. Time drags on all too slowly as he tries to force the color away from his face, counting down the moments until Honeydew comes back for his usual drink.

    “Large honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles please?” A hint of a smile toys with Honeydew’s lips as he passes over some crumpled bills. Roman prepares the drink in silence, handing it over and merely nodding at Honeydew’s thanks.

    “Anything new today, Romeo?” Patton appears at the end of their shifts, same as always. He slips a five into the tip jar when he thinks Roman isn’t looking.

    “Close enough.” Roman slumps over the register, resting his forehead against the screen reading out wishes for a nice day. “I decided my one true purpose was to make him laugh, but does it count if he’s laughing at my expense?”

    “It doesn’t not count.” Patton drops a dime into the tip jar as Roman casts his eyes to the ceiling in defeat.

    “Let’s just go, those flavor jars are mocking me for my incompetence.” Even the weather mocks Roman, with the sunset’s brilliant pink and orange hues. The perfect scene for a romantic moment, if only Roman had any clue how to get himself in that situation. If nothing else, he can reconcile himself with the fact that somewhere, another happy couple is enjoying the same image together. As for his own attitude, Roman is bitter and bottling it up.

    In their dorm room, Patton glances up from his impossibly high stack of homework. “Don’t you have stuff to get done for class?”

    Roman looks over at Patton, a laptop propped up in his lap. “That’s a matter of opinion.”

    “Living on the streets because you were too busy pining over a boy is not a matter of opinion.”

    “But have you considered this? It actually is a matter of opinion, and yours is the wrong one.” Patton balls up a sticky note and tosses it at Roman’s head.

    “So what are you doing instead then? Looking up pick up lines and wikihows for how to talk to boys?”

    “What I am doing is precisely none of your business,” Roman retorts, closing the tabs of pick up lines and wikihows for how to talk to boys. He switches his attention to tumblr, reblogging nearly every post he finds and showing off his favorites to Patton. “Look at this, if I were this good, I could draw something for Honeydew.”

    “You could draw a picture of a honeydew,” Patton says. Roman chucks the sticky note back at him.

    “Right, because I have the courage to do something like that.”

    “I’m sorry, which of us was the first to find a date our freshman year?”

    “Irrelevant. Honeydew is different.”

“How so?”

“I actually really like this one.” Looking back at tumblr, Roman feels gravity pulling at his eyelids. To the tune of Patton humming to himself and clicking around the notes tab on his computer, Roman drifts off to sleep. Visions of dancing honeydew slices traipse through his dreams.

~~~~~

    Up until today, Roman has been certain of what the best day ever was. Grade eleven, he sent off his last early admissions application to his reach college, sealing the envelope with saliva and hopelessness. Cut to a few months later, all of which were filled with tapping feet and messy handwriting on frantic essays, and a letter comes in the mail. To tell the truth, Roman was shocked they got back to him so fast, but more surprising was the first word in that letter from a college that probably saw him as less than dirt stuck between the treads of their shoes. Congratulations. The word reverberated in his head for months, years now. Congratulations. Congratulations. You’re good enough, you got in, we want you here, we think you have something worthwhile to offer. Congratulations.

    A heavy contender for second place of the best day ever is probably right now, as Honeydew strolls in with a new guy. “It’s simple, Lo,” Honeydew is saying, “you tell him whether you want iced or milk tea, green or black, and what flavor. Just get regular tapioca, popping bubbles might weird you out if you haven’t had regular bubble tea before.” Roman marvels as the low, rolling tones in Honeydew’s voice, reminding him of how Raven used to sound on Teen Titans. If Honeydew were the one teaching his classes, Roman would probably never fall asleep. “Here, I’ll go first.” Honeydew holds out a hand like someone might do to a frazzled dog, trying to make sure his friend stays put. “Large pineapple milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, please.”

    Roman hesitates before punching in the order. “Just to warn you, the citrus in the pineapple is gonna curdle the milk and make the densities separate. Basically, it’s gonna look like a science experiment.”

    “Even better.” The grin on Honeydew’s face bears an unnerving contrast to the disgust on his friend’s.

    “Just a regular kiwi iced tea, green tea, tapioca bubbles, please. I can do without the science experiments for now, thank you.” His friend starts counting out bills from his wallet before Honeydew cuts back in, passing a wad of crumpled bills to Roman. Behind Honeydew and across the way, Roman can see Patton flashing a double thumbs up.

    “Coming right up.” Honeydew and his friend—Kiwi, Roman decides, despite having heard Honeydew call him Lo, so Kiwi—take up a spot at Honeydew’s usual table, murmuring a quiet conversation between themselves. For the first time since his training days, Roman messes up, all of his attention on the situation on the other side of the counter. He recovers quickly enough, masking the mistake as part of the process, but they aren’t looking, anyway. Kiwi is too absorbed in poring over the notebook Honeydew always totes around, and Honeydew is too busy burying his face in his jacket. What little skin pokes out of it is flushed pink. “Here ya go, guys.” Taking the cups and color coordinated straws with a grin, Honeydew swirls around his science experiment of a drink.

    “Pretty cool thing you’ve got going there.”

    “I mean, I didn’t invent bubble tea, but if you don’t feel like checking your sources…” Roman lets his voice trail off, regretting each word the second it leaves his mouth. He should’ve stayed quiet, smiled and nodded, gone back to his phone, done something besides making a fool of himself—

    Honeydew laughs.

    He laughs.

    And Roman melts.

    The romantic thing to do would be to claim that it sounds like ringing bells, like the Holy Grail being struck with a golden mallet, like something sent from heaven to grace his ears. The correct thing to do would be to ignore it. The Roman thing to do would be to do neither of those things. The Roman thing to do is to spout incoherent babbling sounds in an attempt to keep the conversation going. Which is what he does. Honeydew does a finger gun motion at him before rejoining his friend, plunking the kiwi drink down on the table. That laugh plays on loop in Roman’s head, long after Honeydew and Kiwi leave, after Patton badgers him for details, after they get back to their dorm, after Roman comes to a particular realization at the dwindling hour of four minutes until two am.

    “There’s a problem.”

    The responding snort from the blanket mound on the other side of the room is not comforting.

~~~~~

    Honeydew is late. Roman is panicking. Closing time is approaching. Worst of all, Honeydew is still late. As Roman reluctantly sets about shutting down all the machines, a shadow appears in front of the register. Kiwi.

    “Hi, yes, hello, can I help—you can get—what get can I for you today?” Roman holds back a grimace at his horrendous grammar, but Kiwi merely shrugs, twisting his lips to the side.

    “I was here yesterday, but I doubt you remember, what with how many people are served here on a daily basis. Regardless, I was accompanying my friend, who appears to be a fan of your refreshments, but he’s been held up by a group project. Accordingly, I am here to purchase his drink on his behalf. He said to just get him ‘his usual,’ that you would know what it meant. Was he correct?”

    Roman shakes the shock from his head at trying to absorb so much information at once. “Yeah, no, yes, I know his usual, that’s correct. Anything for you?”

    “I don’t suppose you remember my order from yesterday, do you?”

    “No, no, I do, it was a regular kiwi—”

    “Unimportant, I’ll take whatever you prepare. How much?” Kiwi forks over the bills as Roman prepares the two drinks, his head spinning over why Honeydew hadn’t shown up. Kiwi nods at Roman as he takes the drinks and leaves, the mall lights overhead flickering out behind him. Closing time.

    On sheer impulse alone, Roman leaves the lights on as he sprints for the front door, where he can just barely see Kiwi’s dark grey car pulling away. There he stays, eyes lingering as the headlights disappearing into the descending dusk, uncaring that other people clocking out are giving him weird looks. When darkness settles and the gates have lowered over most of the storefronts, a hand comes to rest on his shoulder. Roman looks up at Patton, who spins his keys around on a finger.

    “Locked up your store for you. Come on, we’re going out somewhere.” With that not-quite-invitation, Roman finds himself seated at a booth, his face warm and Patton’s cheeks glowing under the soft red lamp overhead.

    “Stop thinking so much, kiddo. If you’re going to have that goofy little smile on your face, I deserve to hear the reason behind it.”

    “I’m older than you,” Roman mutters halfheartedly, spinning the ice cubes around in his drink.

    “I’m taller than you, next question.” Patton stabs his fork in the air, trying to swallow around a wad of spaghetti. A drop of red sauce splatters onto the glass table, a few stray specks landing on Roman’s face. “So what’s up with you? Why are you so obsessed with a guy whose name you don’t even know?”

    “Please, I saw you giving those eyes to Kiwi.”

Patton’s fork clatters to the table. “You call him Kiwi. Oh my God, you call him Kiwi. Please tell me you call yours Honeydew.”

“None of your business.”

“Oh my God, you do. You totally call him Honeydew. Roman, you literally gave a pet name to someone you don’t know. You are so head over heels, it isn’t even funny.”

“Just shut up, okay?” The hint of a laugh in Roman’s voice is enough to show Patton he isn’t actually angry, although embarrassment is definitely high up there on his list of emotions. “He’s just so pretty, and he’s always got that book with him, and even when he started changing up his order, he still gets the same thing, and he’s so patient with his friend, and he even smiled at this little girl who thought she was rich when she found eleven cents on the floor, and—” A blissful smile works its way onto Roman’s face as he rambles on about Honeydew, his plate of pasta forgotten on the table. Patton interjects only occasionally to agree with the more objective points, content to hear Roman being completely smitten all the way through dinner, into the car, and back to the dorm. Roman talks himself to sleep as Patton cuts through his homework stack, still happy for his friend, and maybe just a little bit curious about that Kiwi character.

~~~~~

    A common misconception about college students is that their one and only goal is to get drunk, get high, party, or do some combination of the three. It’s not a guarantee, but Roman is pretty sure a ouija board is involved somewhere in there. On the other hand, there’s the people who are actually happy to have gotten into their dream school, to be sinking themselves into debt for the sole purpose of happiness later in life. If that means working at some bubble tea shop for minimum wage and barely making a dent in his loans, well, so be it. At least he still gets to sit behind this marble counter, prodding tapioca between his teeth and observing some stranger scribbling in a notebook.

    “Hey, thanks for putting up with Logan yesterday. He can be a bit much, you know?” Honeydew’s amiable conversation is so utterly unexpected that Roman can hardly do more than nod.

    “Yeah, he was—he, um—he was fine. What flavor are you looking at today?”

    “What do you suggest?” Every alarm in Roman’s head is ringing at full throttle as he tries to form normal sentences.

    “The honeydew is pretty good, I think that one is my favorite.” Roman, could you possibly be any more obvious?

    “Yeah, that’s why I get it when I go. Saving the best for last, you know?” Honeydew clicks his teeth together with a wink. “I’ll try the almond milk tea, large with green tea and regular tapioca, please.” The process of mixing the drink is a blur as Roman stumbles around behind the counter, more focused on not spilling anything than he is on not looking like a fool.

    Either a blink or an hour later, Roman isn’t sure which, Honeydew is returning to the counter and asking for his usual, provided Roman recalls what it is.

    “Here, I’ll cut you a deal.” The words are falling out of Roman’s mouth before he can hear them in his head. “If I get your order right, you tell me what’s going on in that notebook of yours.”

    “And why might I agree to that?” Humor dances in Honeydew’s eyes.

    “I could just not make your drink at all.”

    “I could just hop the counter and make it myself.”

    “I could just scream.” Honeydew seems somewhat taken aback by this counter, but he grins.

    “Got me there, I’m not about to draw any more attention to this little shop. Don’t want your business to start overflowing and kicking me out of my favorite place, now, do we?” Honeydew grins wider, eyes lingering on Roman’s little plastic name tag. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Frederick.”

    “Yeah, no, I definitely stole this name tag from the last guy who worked here. That’s not my name.”

    “So what is your name, then?”

    “Well, mister large honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles, that’s just for me to know and you not to, isn’t it? What’s in the notebook?”

    Honeydew passes over the money to pay, squinting at Roman. “Make the drink first. If it tastes good enough, I’ll tell you.” Needless to say, Roman was more careful making that drink than he’d ever been before. He even goes so far as to grab the reddish pink straw for him.

    Honeydew inspects the pastel green carefully, poking his tongue out in concentration. “Decent enough, I suppose. Observant, anyway. I’ll bite, not-Frederick. The notebook is a bunch of drawings, since I don’t want to bring my actual sketchbook out where it might get ruined.”

    “Can I see them?”

    “I never agreed to that part of the deal. You said, and I quote, ‘If I get your order right, you tell me what’s going on in that notebook of yours.’ You got it right, so I told you. Showing it off was never part of the agreement.” Triumph bounces over Honeydew’s face as he does a one hand clapping wave. “Until tomorrow, not-Frederick.”

    When Patton comes over to drag Roman out of his near-delirious state of joy for closing time, Roman has exactly four words to share with him. “There’s a bigger problem.”

    “Come on, Loverboy, you need some sleep.”

~~~~~

    “What kind of deal is it going to take to give me your name, not-Frederick?” Honeydew slams a hand on the counter, tapping the cash register with an impatient finger. Roman shakes his head, trying to get the grogginess out of his head from an ultimately sleepless night. Too much homework combined with persistent thoughts of tapioca and honeydew was not a good mix for an overworked college student.

    “How much is it worth to you? I’ll take seeing your drawings, if that works for you.” Roman doesn’t know where the sudden bravado and ease of conversation came from, but he can’t deny that he enjoys it. Maybe talking to Kiwi helped break the ice. “Speaking of which, where’s your friend been? Logan, or whatever his name was.”

    “I don’t know why you started that question with ‘speaking of which,’ given that we weren’t even remotely speaking of him, but he’s got a lot of studying to do pretty much on the daily. I just managed to force him out of our dorm for a couple days.” Honeydew lifts his hand from the counter, tugging that one disobedient strand of hair behind his ear. “Seeing my drawings is worth way more than just your name. I’d rather keep calling you not-Frederick.”

    “That’s the only bargain I can think of.” Besides your name.

    “How about my name?” That’s it, that settles it, Honeydew is just as psychic as Roman’s parents. Case closed, call Buzzfeed Unsolved and get the hell out of dodge.

    “Seems fair, but what will it take for me to see inside that notebook?”

    “We’ll lead that horse to the bridge when we burn it.”

    “That’s not a real idiom.”

    “Your face isn’t a real idiom, not-Frederick. Name, please.”

    “Or you could tell me your name first.”

    “And have you not fulfill your end of the deal? I think not. Name.”

    “How do I know you’re good for your own side of the bargain?”

    “Because I’m not some underpaid tea artist that got trapped in a conversation with a broke art student. Give me your name, or so help me, I will leave and take with me your highest paying customer.”

    “Fine. The name’s Roman. Your turn.”

    “See, now was that so hard? It’s Virgil, pleasure to meet you. I’ll take a large chai milk tea with green tea and regular tapioca, thanks much.” Honeydew—Virgil, evidently—takes up his normal spot in his normal chair, more cautious than ever about shielding the notebook from Roman’s view. He goes so far as to flip the paper face down on the table when Roman sets the finished drink on the counter, just in case Roman were to get the idea to look over at it. As if he weren’t doing that already.

    The double thumbs up from Patton is only slightly encouraging.

~~~~~

    If someone had told Roman to write an autobiography detailing the life and times of his working in the bubble tea shop, he would have done something similar to the following:

    I started the job with few prospects beyond getting some pocket money. There was a guy that came in a lot. He always ordered a large honeydew milk tea with green tea and lychee popping bubbles, no extra bubbles. One day he ordered something different. He came back a lot to try the different flavors. Through my own genius, I managed to learn his name and instantly gained his affection. I was a perfect romantic and he was enamoured with me. I was suave and clever and he could not keep himself away. The end.

    The truth, however, is that nothing changed, beyond Virgil greeting Roman with his name before ordering something new, followed by a farewell the same way. Roman sat pining away behind the counter, only now it was that much more obvious to Virgil. Toss in a few friendly insults and jokes, and that pretty much sums up their interactions. That is, until Virgil runs out of new flavors to try. Such a day is the one Roman dreads most, when Virgil no longer has a reason to show up anymore.

    “Come on Roman, you’re slacking. Don’t tell me you haven’t invented new flavors to keep me around?” Virgil slumps over the glass cover of the ice cream, a dramatic mockery of despair written in the slump of his shoulders. Patton waves excitedly at Roman from his bakery, the only person to be following the soap drama that is Roman’s life. At least, that’s what Roman calls it. Patton just thinks it’s adorable, but if it gives Roman an excuse to talk about Virgil more, then so be it.

    “Can’t say I have. Are you leaving me and shattering this beautiful relationship we’ve built?” The ease of talking as if they were dating is impossibly alien to Roman, and he’s thrilled that Virgil slid into the rhetoric so easily.

    “Don’t worry, I’ll send Logan back as a scout sometimes to check in on those new flavors you’re inventing.”

    “You never even showed me your notebook drawings, how will I remember you?”

    “By the taste of honeydew and lychees.” As if Roman didn’t already think of those on a twenty four hour basis.

    “Can we make a bargain for it?”

    “Like what?”

    “I don’t know, what’s important to you?”

    Virgil traces his fingers around in the fog of the cool glass, doodling scribbles and swirls. “How about your number?” By some miracle, Virgil is too absorbed in his drawing to notice the tapioca pouring out of Roman’s mouth as his jaw drops.

    “That, um, yeah, I, um, I could denifitely, I mean definitely, I love would, I mean—” Virgil flicks his eyes up, a half-smile on his face.

    “Awesome.” He tears a shred of paper from his notebook and hands it to Roman, along with a pen. “The usual, then. Got this big project to work on, but it’s been fun.” Roman has probably never written anything faster—or neater—than he writes his phone number on the paper scrap.

    “Your day, my drink, have a nice number,” Roman says, wincing at his mangling and desecration of the english language. Virgil takes both with an almost laugh, giving Roman a full piece of paper before moving for the front of the mall. Through some miracle, the amount of customers to roll in after that is abnormally small, probably due to their filling up at Patton’s bakery, which is actually gaining some traction. By closing time, Patton is visibly swamped and exhausted, and Roman is still staring at a spot-on sketch of the face of Virgil’s friend, Logan.

    “Hey, that’s pretty cool. You draw it?” Patton leans over to counter to peer at the paper, prompting Roman to stash it safely in his bag and move for the exit.

    “As if. I’m not an art major, pal, no way. Virgil drew it.”

    “Ah, yes, Honeydew, the beloved boy of your dreams. How many body parts did you have to trade to get that?” Roman hesitates, holding the front door open for Patton.

    “Just my number.” The resounding screech from Patton echoes off the lamp posts that flicker around his car.

    “No way. No. Way. Did you offer it? Did he ask? You have to let me be your best man at the wedding.”

    Crouching down, Roman slides into the passenger seat and messes with the radio dial. “Pat, I don’t even have his number. I have to wait for him to text me, which he’ll probably never do, because I’m literally just some loser behind a cash register in a bubble tea joint, and oh my God Patton I just got a text from a new number saying their name is Virgil what do I do Patton what do I do take the phone I cannot handle this right now oh my God Patton take the stupid phone!” Roman throws his cell on the floor of the driver’s side, drawing his knees to his chest and staring out the window as if the traffic light ahead were about to explode at any moment.

    Patton retrieves the phone, patting Roman’s knee with a reassuring hand. “It says ‘hey dude, this is Virgil from the bubble tea place, if this is a joke number and you lied to me I am going to sneak into your dorm room and replace all of your toothpaste with hubba bubba tape gum.’” Patton lowers the phone to glance sidelong at Roman. “So what exactly did you like about this guy?”

    “Oh jeez, text him back, um, sheesh, what do I say to that? My toothpaste is on the line here, Patton, we need something to respond.” Roman buries his burning face in his knees. “Tell him that he has the right number, this is Roman, please don’t hurt my toothpaste.” With a grin, Patton complies, then hands the phone back to Roman as the light turns green.

    “You have to answer now, buddy, I can’t text and drive. Literally and legally, I am physically incapable of doing so. Take the phone before we crash.” No small amount of effort goes into Roman forcing himself to accept the phone, feeling his eyes ache as he stares at the screen and waits for a response.

    When the phone pings again, he nearly throws it out the window.

    “He said W and then Y and then D, Patton, what do I do now? Is he trying to cast a curse on me through my phone? We need to go into witness protection, I think Virgil is secretly Cthulhu, Patton, we gotta get out of here.”

    “Roman. You’ve been on tumblr. He asked what you’re doing.” Patton’s fingers turn white from their grip on the wheel as he holds back a laugh. For such a romantic, his friend truly is hopeless when it comes to genuine caring for someone else.

    “What do I say? What am I doing? I’m breathing, is that it?” Patton quirks his mouth to the side, rolling his eyes just a little bit, just enough for it to not be in annoyance. “Right, right, calm down. I’m in a car and we’re going back to our dorm and then I’m going to sleep. Basic stuff, basic conversation, normal human things, I can do this.” Trying his best to sound like a normal human doing normal human things, Roman responds to Virgil and rams his head into the headrest. “Dang it, Patton, he’s just so pretty, it’s not fair and frankly? It’s kind of rude, I don’t appreciate how cool he is, who even gave him the right? He’s too pretty, it’s illegal, I just decided.”

    The rest of the car ride, and the rest of the night as a whole, sounds strikingly similar to this on repeat. Patton loves it.

~~~~~

    The next day, Roman doesn’t even bother asking whether Virgil would like the usual, having already prepared it once he saw Virgil walk in the front door. He definitely wasn’t watching the door all night, impatient for the moment Virgil would show up, nosiree, that was not the case. What is the case, however, is the large and prominent sacks under Roman’s eyes, from not sleeping a wink. In his defense, few things are more enjoyable or endearing than texting Virgil with only the light of the moon to illuminate his smile. One of those few things is talking to Virgil in person, which Roman does happily.

    “You got anything going on tonight, then?” Virgil asks, dropping his chin on the ice cream glass.

    “I’m sorry, are you asking me on a date?”

    “Dude, don’t make it gay.”

    “I literally am gay.” Roman pokes Virgil’s forehead, making him miss his mouth with the reddish pink straw. “Pretty sure you are, too, given how many times you’ve told me while standing right there.”

    “Be that as it may, you didn’t answer my question. Anything going on?”

    “Not that I know of.” Roman looks over at Patton, who would probably love to know about this new development. Evidently, Virgil takes the look as worry about Roman’s carpool.

    “I think he’s a little preoccupied to be too concerned about driving you home.” A fair point, given how intently Patton speaks to his current customer. “Never knew Logan was one for cookies from a mall bakery. Who would’ve thought?” Before Roman can comment on the apparently developing conversation across the way, Virgil continues, “so I’ll just hang out here until you close? We can go do something fun?”

    “I can close right now, if you want,” Roman says. The clock is almost to closing time, anyway. “Where are we looking at going?”

    “Definitely not a coffee shop.” Virgil links arms with Roman as the latter swings around the counter, waving at Patton as they pass. Patton barely nods, clearly too busy hanging on to every word from Logan’s mouth.

    In Virgil’s car, he smacks Roman’s hand away from the radio dial. “We listen to my music, or you can walk your pretty little butt home.”

    “You think my butt is pretty?”

    “I think your face is pretty.”

    Roman laughs, probably louder than necessary, but it’s real and warm and fills him like so many bubbles on a bright summer day. Virgil joins him, his laugh lower and more restrained, but genuine all the same. His breath smells like honeydew.

[wingsnbones]

usually I don't like those group-of-people(derogatory) things, although some of us are hypocrites :P (at least we use tone tags!) but I saw the pluralphobia post with the know-it-all singlet and lemme say: that makes me sad. just. i'm so sorry y'all had to deal with that kinda hate. we only have 4 members without introjects or anything, so we personally don't have experience with larger systems/introjects/fictives/factives, but y'all are valid!

also, may I add: medically recognized is not the only way to gain validity. you mentioned fictives and things were medically recognized, but even if they weren't, that doesn't invalidate them or their experiences! (sorry if I sound harsh/rash/something i'm browsing tumblr at an unholy hour of night)

(unrelated: i rarely turn anon on but my blog isn't quite outed as a system and we have not quite gained the confidence for that :P)

thank you for the kind words anon!! and yeah we know that you dont have to be medically recognized to be valid skajd, we arent professionally diagnosed ourselves for a variety of reasons that we will not be sharing here and we still exist!! we just. thought it was funny that like. they seemed to be operating off of a 'only medically recognized is real' logic and. fictives are professionally recognized. like. bruh. your logic has MAJOR flaws lmao

(also youre so valid, never feel like you have to out yourselves to anyone, thats honestly why we even have anon on lmao, you may get there some day, and if you dont, thats completely fine to <3)

~Serif System