#Like I just. I can't NOT know/understand/develop a character before I write them. It drives me up the wall.

[dbphantom]

I'm going through some of my H2O fanfic documents for... reasons... and I fucking forgot that I gave every single one of Lewis's family members names that start with L ahsggsgss. Do you think that his parents realized as soon as they had their first kid that they could do something extraordinarily funny. I think that's what happened.

[novlr]

How do I strengthen my writing? I tend to fall back on bad habits because I can't find good habits to replace them.

Building sustainable writing habits that really help you improve can be really difficult. Especially if you don't know where to look. So, here are 10 tips for building good writing habits that can help strengthen your writing!

1. Clear out your creative faucets

Step away from your project and do something else! Write something different. Let yourself write badly. Or just plain old take a break. Your writing will suffer if you're constantly forcing yourself to work on something that isn't bringing you joy.

2. Read voraciously

In the immortal words of Stephen King: “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time to write.” 

Read widely in your own genre and outside of it. Take inspiration from other authors, and read critically to see what they do well and what they could do better.

3. Read some bad writing, too

Breaking down exactly why a piece of writing doesn't work for you can be super helpful for understanding what to avoid in your own work. 

4. Try on different writing styles

Try out different approaches to storytelling to find the voice that feels most like yours. You might find yourself attracted to descriptive, sensory prose, or more to austere and pointed prose. Your writing will be strongest when you're the most authentic self you can be.

5. Explore characterisation 

People are messy. Accurately and compellingly conveying this innate messiness is essential to creating a powerful story. Explore your characters and who they are, and if it's a character-driven story, don't be afraid to let them drive.

6. Make friends with your thesaurus 

A great way to make a piece of prose shine even brighter is to expand your vocabulary. There are a lot of words in the English language that mean similar things but have slightly different moods and tones. Finding the exact right word to convey what you’re trying to say will help your writing land more emphatically with your reader. 

7. Banish filtering words

Filtering is one of the most common mistakes new writers make. It involves describing a character’s sensations or feelings with filtering words like felt, saw, heard, knew, watched, or realised. This holds the reader at a distance and makes them feel like they’re hearing a story, rather than living it.

An example of filtering would be, “She watched the sun rise majestically over the mountains”. It would feel more immediate to simply say, “The sun rose majestically over the mountains”. The reader already knows your point-of-view character is watching; now, the reader can watch it with them. 

8. Glare disapprovingly at the passive voice

Passive voice isn’t necessarily wrong all the time, but nine times out of ten, it will slow down the pace of your story and encourage the reader to lose interest in your characters. Passive voice means having something done to a character — “John was punched in the face by Nick” — instead of a character actively doing something: “Nick punched John in the face”.

9. Familiarise yourself with story structure

The best stories follow an established plot structure, and follow it so smoothly that the reader doesn’t even realise there’s an ancient storytelling template behind it. These structures are designed to introduce just the right amount of tension and suspense and to give the reader the ideal payoff by the end. Rather than being formulaic, they help with pacing and plot development.

10. Get peer feedback

Finally, the best way to make your work as strong as it can be is to get some feedback from other writers. This can be from a professional editor, a beta reader, or a collaborative writing group. Getting a second pair of eyes can help you catch plot holes or inconsistencies before you send your story out into the world.

Want to know more? Read the full post at the link below!

[ssailormoonn]

❛ Crush ❜

Kurosaki Ichigo X Reader

| SFW | REQUEST? Yes | -> Headcannons

REQUEST; @r333y - Hi I saw your requests were open and I thought I would request some bleach headcanons (or anything really) if that's ok. Would you mind writing ichigo and/or ulquiorra (separately if you do both) having a crush on gn reader? Like how would he develop it, how would he act around the reader or how would he confess. Just some fluff for our boys. Thank you for considering, good day/night. ♡

a::note; i don't usually write for a 'gn' reader but i will try my best as i did state in my request rules that i only write for fem reader:3

M.LIST | BLEACH M.LIST | SOUL REAPER M.LIST

How would Ichigo develop a crush?

I personally think that Ichigo would develop a crush on you regarding your abilities and strengths. Ichigo does meet important characters during conflicts and the start of his interest in you would be when you demonstrate your skill. Another one could be that you had a trait that stuck out to him, like there was something about you that didn't make sense to him, or that he wanted to know more about why you do the things that you do. I feel like mostly it would be how you fight, he feels interested in what you do and would like to know more about you because you are just so different to him.

Ichigo could see you in a vulnerable state, which could cause you to reveal your personal struggles. This reveals depth between your growing relationship and in turn, makes Ichigo feel more connected to you as you trust him.

Then it would lead to the both of you spending time with each other outside the battle field, experiencing everyday moments that show different sides of your personalities and discovering any shared interests or hobbies.

But there is one thing that I feel strongly about. I personally feel that Ichigo would need to have developed a crush on you specifically if he knows that you have the ability to look after yourself in battle. He wishes and craves that connection. Don't get me wrong, it's nice for him to save you and vise versa, but he needs to know that no matter what happens he will know that you are okay.

How would Ichigo act around the you?

To put it more precisely, when around that person, Ichigo will become a little edgy and out of his place. He may forget what he is about to say or may become a little clumsy. Although generally composed, Ichigo might blush or get flushed on his face if someone tries to tease him about his feelings when you are around. Ichigo will be quieter than usual but would glance your way, only to look hurriedly if you catch him looking.

And, I guess, Ichigo would detail an awful lot in your likes and dislikes, habits, and small details like that. But with Ichigo, I believe he's naturally overprotective, and of course, like I said before, he would have to trust in you that you could handle the situations you would get into because his protectiveness level would just shoot up real high. He'd be so concerned for you, worried for your safety and well-being, much such as to be overprotective. More of an Ichigo to care about your safety, maybe saying, "You need to be more careful! I can't always watch your back," then frowning at you.

Ichigo would just pretend to be irritable or impatient if he found you laughing with someone else, though he wouldn't tell you he's jealous.

He drives out of his way to do the kind of things that you do, whether that is something tough or easy for you, just being there when needed. Ichigo would offer to stay up late to help them understand anything they need help with. He would even sense it when you would feel low or stressed, and at that point, he would actually go out of his way to be someone who could comfort you, lend a patient ear, or show a shoulder to cry on. Even in small ways, like surprising them with your favorite snack or remembering to check in on them after a tough day, the ways Ichigo showed to care were consistent. His kindness will be real and sincere; this will convey that he has started caring more and wants you to be happy and supported.

How would he confess?

Ichigo would make sure that you two are alone when he confesses. He would probably spend a bit of time building up the courage, possibly starting the conversation with casual topics before diving into his feelings. He might struggle a bit but would try to explain what he feels :(( the poor baby.

You had noticed that Ichigo was behaving exceptionally differently with you these days, from his usual self, sometimes swapping his confidence for an insecurity that seemed awkwardly out of place. It was in little things: glances he took at her when he thought she isn't looking and the softening of his voice in speaking to her. Something in him changed, but he still tried to act as usual.

You could see that he had been wound up about something, and you kept your peace for him to talk when he would come around to it. After an ultra-long silence, finally, Ichigo took one great breath, as if he was steeling himself for what he was about to say. "You know," he started, extraordinarily reticent for being him, "lately, I've been thinking a lot—some thoughts about us, you know. You." He darted a glance at you in between, looking away afterward; the tips of his ears colored red. "I was never good with words, and this sounds. this is more difficult than anything I have fought."

The rush of emotions swirling in you had your heart racing. Ichigo pushed on, his voice gaining a bit in confidence. "I've always admired your strength, the way you carry yourself. But it's more than that. When I'm with you.I feel different. Better, somehow. You make me want to be better."

He turned entirely to face her, and his brown eyes were earnest and heartfelt. "I like you more than a friend. I don't know how to say it perfectly and I must spiral this somehow, but I had to tell you. I like you—you mean more to me than I can say, and I want to be there for you in any way I can."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

M.LIST | BLEACH M.LIST | SOUL REAPER M.LIST

ulquiorra one coming soon:3

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 6: April

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault (to be continued as writing is ongoing)

☾ Author's note ➼ *kicking my feet excitedly* hey guys, turns out I was just being dramatic. I'm actually really happy with how this turned out. Could it be better? Sure, but that doesn't change that I'm happy with what it is right now. This is super long, but I promise it's worth it. It's filled with tropes and fluff and surprises and I hope you guys enjoy it! Also just a quick 'I'm sorry' for making you wait so long! I was struggling with some bad writers block and then I got covid so things just couldn't pick up the way I wanted them to. But it's here now!!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k (huehue)

The Sakura Festival held downtown was unlike anything you’ve ever been to before. Since Hange and you had moved here sometime over the summer, you had missed all of what Jinae’s spring had to offer. Suffice it to say, though you didn’t know it yet, it was well worth waking up for at 8 in the morning. Your sister, however, thought otherwise as you both sped down the streets towards Levi and Erwin’s apartment while she curled up in her seat.

“I just don’t understand why we have to go right when it opens. It’s going to be…” Hange pauses to yawn heavily. “…an all-day thing.” They finish with a big stretch in the passenger seat. You shoot her a quick displeased glance and they throw their hands up in the air.

“Okay, okay. I know, you’re excited and want to see everything. But I didn’t get to bed until like 3 in the morning. So, excuse me if I’m exhausted.” They mumble before giving in to yet another big yawn. You roll your eyes at them. It’s not like this was sprung upon them last minute. After the conversation with Levi at the diner last month, it was all you could think and talk about. Well, not all.

Your thoughts were clouded with more Levi than usual. He'd been much more open to you the past couple weeks than in the last 5 months combined. The progress was rocky, sure. But progress was still progress. Fortunately, Hange still hadn’t asked for any details of what happened that night, but she knew something was up. You fiddle mindlessly with your necklace at these thoughts, the one you haven’t taken off since it was put on by Levi.

“Thinking about Shorty?” Hange cuts in with a teasing voice. You blindly swat at them without looking over, frowning. “Hey! It’s not my fault you’re smiling like an idiot right now!” They laugh and you swat at them again, but you can't help but break out into a matching grin.

Soon after, you park in the street across from the boys’ apartment and shoot Levi a text that you were there. You and Hange had suggested that they carpool with you since Erwin’s wrist was still on the mend and Levi had an aversion to driving himself. The reason why you were stuck behind the wheel, though, and not Hange, was because she was ‘too tired to drive’. You decided quickly that you would rather drive than get into a wreck because your sister fell asleep in the middle of the road.

In the corner of your eye, you see Levi bounding down the steps with his blonde best friend right behind him. You shift in your seat nervously, fingers tapping on the wheel. When they get closer, you're incapable of keeping your eyes off the two handsome men. Even for how warm it was today, you’re not surprised to see Levi wearing his leather jacket over a hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. Erwin is dressed in a relaxed fit blue button down and a pair of sunglasses that cover his matching eyes, a denim jacket flung over his shoulder by one finger. They could have been supermodels if they wanted to, you chuckle to yourself.

“Oooh here come the men. Do you think they rehearse that walk when they’re together?” Hange laughs. Levi and Erwin slide into the back seat a few moments later and you turn around in your seat to greet them with a massive smile and wave.

Levi’s deadpan expression doesn’t faze you - though were you able to read his mind, you would know his heart was beating faster than a racehorse the moment he woke up today. Erwin teasingly ruffles Hange’s frazzled hair and pats the top of your head gently. You wouldn’t say it to his face, but he radiated such ‘dad vibes. Not that it bothered you any.

“Well look at you both!” Erwin boisterously exclaims as he beams to the two of you. You smile right back at him in satisfaction. You spent so many hours in the last week trying to find the right thing to wear today. A pair of off-white overalls cinches at your waist and stops at your thighs, the hem hugging at your skin effortlessly. Your favorite band t-shirt can be seen peeking over the straps. With your hair pulled up in a loose ponytail that created tendrils that fell in your face, the look was completed by your new favorite accessory. Which of course was perfect for the occasion.

Levi’s gift glimmers in the sun as you shift in your seat. The gift giver himself had his eyes on you the moment he stepped into the vehicle and only looked away once you met his gaze. A soft blush creeps up your face while you turn to face the wheel.

The drive to the festival grounds was a relatively short one, thankfully. With the help of Erwin’s clear directions, you were able to get there without issue. But then you had to turn down Hange’s obnoxious loud metal music so you could focus on finding a place to park. Even showing up early, parking was a nightmare, and you could only find a spot about a 10-minute walk from the closest entrance.

Jinae has a fairly wide river that cuts through the heart of the town. The festival itself sat on the surrounding outer banks of it, both sides occupied by vendors and joined by a bridge that crossed over the crystal water. It was there on the banks of the river that most of the cherry blossom trees rested, swaying in the spring breeze that caused a flurry of petals to fly around. When you all make it to the archway, you can’t help but clap your hands and jump in excitement. The atmosphere was so lively already, and you could not wait to dive headfirst into what the festival had to offer.

“Well, what’s first on the docket?” Erwin inquires as he steps forward to stare out into the bustling square ahead. You’re already signing excitedly about today’s activities and Hange has to grab your hands to make you stop and start over. You give them an apologetic grin then take a deep breath before signing everything again, slowly this time.

‘There’s a parade of floats made out of flowers that starts in about fifteen minutes. Then there’s a duck race sometime in the afternoon. Not to mention the carnival rides, live music, and finally fireworks to finish the night!’ You had spent such an ungodly amount of time staring at the festival’s schedule that it was practically burned into the back of your skull. And like Hange mentioned earlier, you were dedicated to seeing it all.

“That sounds like a lovely plan, Love. Let’s get going so we can get a good spot then.” Hange says as they bump into your shoulder affectionately when they walk past, starting up a conversation with Erwin as he falls in step with theirs.

 You feel something tickle your scalp and as you reach up to see what it is, your hand feels another about to pull away. When you look over, you see Levi’s nimble fingers carefully plucking a blossom petal out of your hair. He mouths a wordless apology. Even with his uninterested face, his eyes couldn't hide his amusement. Amusement for what, though, you didn't know. Not even thinking twice do you grab his hand and start tugging him along into the depths of the crowd.

.

The parade was as magnificent as the pictures online portrayed, maybe even better. There were floats of various themes that you had a lot of fun discerning while you jumped around in the crowd. You had decided your favorite out of all of them was the oceanic one.

There were all sorts of tropical flora that formed the shape of a conch shell in the center, and it sat on a bed of beautiful blues and whites that formed into waves around it. You’ve never had the opportunity to go to the coast but seeing the float made you long for the sea in ways you’ve never had before. You hoped one day you’d get to go.

The second the last float drifted by, you wasted no time dragging your little group straight to the duck racing registrar. According to Levi, Jinae hosted this race as a fundraising event for the local orphanage in town. The premise is that people would pay for as many rubber ducks as they want for a certain amount of money and each duck had a number written on the bottom.

Once everyone who wanted to enter did so, city officials then released all of the purchased ducks down the river to be collected at a certain point. Levi didn’t know of the specifics, but he said that eventually someone would fish them out at the designated finish line and people corresponding to the first 10 ducks that crossed would win a prize. It was the silliest thing you’ve ever heard of so naturally you brought money to participate.

Even if you didn’t win, you were happy to know it was going to something so worthy. To be perfectly honest though, the biggest reason you were so excited about it is because of the way Levi had talked about the race during your last hang out.

Hange decided to start hosting weekly movie nights at your shared apartment and of course everyone was invited. As usual, your sister chose something "ironically hilarious", not without a mischievous cackle. Much to Hange’s disappointment but not surprise, you and Levi chose to spend that time playing cards and talking about the Sakura Festival at the dining table instead.

With it coming up so soon, you had wanted to pick Levi's brain on what you should check out first. Levi said that it had been years since he last went, so he wasn't the best person to ask. But when you asked about the duck races, his usual stone-cold exterior softened. Levi didn't elaborate, but you could tell by the way his voice lightened that he was quite fond of the fundraiser. So, if Levi liked it, then so did you.

To your delight, Erwin and Hange pay for one duck each. You purchase three like you had planned. And Levi purchases five. As he reaches into his wallet to pay, you can't help but watch in adoration at how carefree he seemed, like he was genuinely enjoying his time. His jaw and shoulders are slack and a small smile twitches at the corners of his scarred lips as he speaks to the booking clerk. Something pokes you in the side; it's your sister. Hange snickers at you with a gleam in their eyes. You stick your tongue out at them and they just poke you again, eliciting a small gasp from you.

"Everything okay?" You jump at Levi's sudden voice to the right of you. An eyebrow raises in concern, his eyes almost tinted blue from the clear sky above. You nod and roll your eyes in the direction of your sister, as if to say, 'Hange just being Hange.' He hums and looks down at his phone, lips pursing at whatever he was looking at.

"Furlan just texted me to let me know he’ll be here soon. " Levi slides his phone into his back pocket as he speaks.

"Furlan's coming?" Hange asks as they snake an arm around your shoulders.

"Yeah, he kind of invited himself." Levi mutters.

"Hey, the more the merrier." Erwin chuckles behind Hange. You smile in agreement, but the subtle disappointment in Levi's tone doesn’t escape your ears.

"There's no use in sitting around waiting. The races start in about an hour so why don't we use this time to wander?" Your sister raises a hand in the air as they start off in a random direction, their other arm linked with Erwin and currently pulling him along. Shaking your head in amusement, you and Levi follow close behind.

The Sakura Festival reminded you of the renaissance fair in the way that there were various booths and vendors that surrounded you, all selling anything and everything you’d expect. The only difference being the multitude of carnival rides and attractions that peppered around the grounds. That, and the very obvious size of the event itself. It wasn’t very crowded for now, but you suspect that will change later in the day. Hange calls out to you and Levi from ahead, arms waving above their head to get your attention.

"Guys! Look at this!" She's jumping up and down while pointing at a small but tall boxy contraption with a black curtain pulled to the side. Upon closer inspection, you notice there's a little space inside with a small bench and a computer screen sitting opposite it. It's a photo booth. You eye your sister quizzically.

"Well? Wanna try?" You shrug which Hange takes as an okay, a wild smile lighting up their face.

"Yes! Alright!! Levi, in you go!"

 "Wha- like hell!"

"C'mon! It'll be fun!" Hange grabs Levi's arm and pushes him inside the booth so forcefully that he slams onto the bench with a hiss. "Erwin, you'll have to pop your head in from the side, you're just too tall." And then her fingers are grasping your arm as she pulls both of you in before you can do anything to stop her. The booth is even smaller on the inside and with the way you both toppled in, you find yourself plopping on her lap like a child. Cozy is not the first word that comes to mind.

 "Ah, I can't reach the screen. Here, Levi, hold this." You suddenly feel your body being pushed to the side by Hange and a gasp escapes your lips as you find yourself in a new seat - Levi's lap. Levi grunts as you land. In a panic, you attempt to stand up but then his hands are on your hips and you’re being pulled down to his thigh closest to the wall, so that you are facing the camera at an angle. You can't bring yourself to look at him, and any knowledge on how to breathe vanishes. The sound of angry waves fills your ears as heat rushes to your cheeks. Oh my god. Is this really happening?

"'Everything okay?" Erwin's voice comes muffled. He pops his head through the curtain, and his bright blue eyes land on your wide ones. If he was thinking anything, he gave nothing away.

"Yup almost... got it!" Hange yells in triumph as they press down on something. "Get ready!"

There's a beeping coming from the corner of the booth that must be the countdown, but you can hardly focus on it. All you can think about is the way you fit on Levi's lap. Beep. How flush your body was against his chest that you could feel his racing heart, no doubt beating at the same speed as yours, against your back. Beep. His shallow breaths tickling the back of your neck as you clenched your hands into tight fists that rest on your thighs. Beep. Levi shifts under you, his leg jostling you for a moment. Beep. Your brain is foggy, clouded by Levi. Levi, Levi, all Levi.

Your name is being called - distant sounding at first then loud and right next to you. You startle at the sudden noise and whip your head to the source. Erwin and Hange are staring at you from outside of the booth, sunlight filtering through the spaces around their bodies as they stand in the little doorway. They both have matching amused smirks lighting up their faces. Levi clears his throat from behind. As if zapped, you shoot up quickly from Levi's lap and scramble out the hole, palms sweaty in your tight fists. The cool, spring breeze softly hitting your flushed and hot face is very welcoming.

"You okay?" Erwin steps up next to you, his voice laced with concern.

'Yeah, just really hot and stuffy in there.' You sign back, taking a deep breath. It wasn't a lie. But the way Erwin eyed you makes you feel like he knows something you don't.

"Oh my gosh look at US!!" Hange squeals from behind you. When you turn to face them, they're smiling down at a couple strips of paper which you guess are the photocopies. They bound over to you and shoves one of the copies in your direction then gives the other to Erwin. "Here, one for each household."

 The sun glares off the film and you have to bring it close to your face so you can see the panels better. There are four photos total, all in color and bright from the flashes. Hange and Erwin are making different faces in each one, there's even one of them laughing mid-snap. But then you glance over to the other corner where you and Levi sit, and you want to throw yourself in the river in embarrassment.

The first two photos are the same. You're looking straight into the camera like a deer in the headlights, luckily with a small smile tugging at your lips but shock is very evident on your face. Levi is staring off to the side with a vacant expression, heavy lidded and slack. Both of you are red in the face though. The third one is blurry with movement. In the last one, you and Levi are looking at each other, his steely gray eyes flashing silver in the blinding light. A moment of you two staring at each other, something you don't remember doing, frozen in time. You flick your eyes up and over the little strip of paper in between your fingers to look at Levi. He's facing away with his hands in his pockets, his cheeks the same shade of red in the photo. Even if they were embarrassing, you find yourself pressing the photos close to your chest anyways.

"Alright, where to next!? We have plenty of time to kill." Hange exclaims.

So, the four of you did indeed kill time. It was mostly spent gawking at the vendors and making plans of what rides you all wanted to visit after the race. At one point Erwin and Hange got separated from you and Levi, leaving the two of you to seek refuge from the crowd under the shade of trees. Not a lot of conversation happened, you suspect because of the awkward moment at the photo booth. The revisiting thought makes you blush. You were on your toes trying to scan the ever-moving crowd for any signs of your sister when you heard an unsettling voice coming from the direction of where Levi stood currently.

"Hi little fella, got some tasty candy for you. Wanna try it?" Leaning down behind Levi with a comically large lollipop is a man decked out in the most garish of clown costumes. "It's reeaal good." Levi doesn't move.

The expression on his face would have been priceless had the clown been less horrifying. You give the clown a polite smile before gingerly grabbing Levi's hand, taking extra care of the missing digits, and dragging him away to a random direction within the crowd. He doesn't resist. He actually tightens his grip and pulls ahead so that he's the one leading.

Taken aback by his sudden assertiveness, your heart does cartwheels. You're about to ask where he’s taking you until you see that he's pulling you in the direction of Hange and Erwin who are currently heading your way. His hand releases yours before reaching them, far too quickly for your liking.

"There you two are! We were looking everywhere. Were you both making out behind a tree?" Hange jokes. Hange has an ice cream cone in their hand and Erwin’s wrapped wrist has a heart shaped balloon tied to it.

‘Where the hell have you two been?’ Actively ignoring the crass joke thrown at you. You sign this at the same time as you hear a familiar playful voice chirp up from behind the pair in front of you.

“What’s this about making out?” Hange steps aside to reveal Furlan who had his hand in a bag of kettle popcorn. He pulls his hand out to wave at you with a big grin and you reciprocate with your own. “Did Levi finally find himself a suitor?”

“Shut up.” Levi flips Furlan off with a grumble.

“Sorry I’m so late. I slept in and then finding a parking spot was a nightmare! Where are we headed??” Furlan looks around your little group expectantly.

“We should probably start heading back to the race area because I think it’s about to start.” Erwin checks the gold watch strapped to his good wrist. It glints off the afternoon sun and you have to glance away so that it doesn’t blind you.

“Aw man, did I already miss the registration?” Furlan hangs his head low in disappointment.

“Well if you actually used the alarm function on your phone, you would have made it on time.” Levi retorts back dryly.

Reaching into the little purse dangling off your hip, you pull out your three ticket stubs with a random number on each of them and step up closer to Furlan. When you wave your hand to get his attention, he glances at you and then at your pinched fingers.

“Oh. No! Please, it’s okay. I can always try for next year.” He insists, holding his hands up in front of his chest defensively. You give him a soft smile as you pick one out and push it towards him anyways. “Are you sure?”

Rolling your eyes, you reach over to push the ticket into his open palm and using your other hand, you clamp his fingers around it so that it sits in his hand safely. “Well… okay. If you’re adamant. Thanks!” Furlan chuckles and tightens his hand around the ticket. He gives you a wink before shoving it into his jean pocket.

“That was very sweet of you.” Erwin whispers down to you as you all make your way to the finish line.

‘I didn’t want him to be left out.’ You sign back with a frown, and Erwin nods in understanding, a warm smile crinkling his eyes.

By the time you all make it to the starting line of the race, the ducks have already been released via crane. Hundreds of little ducks were floating down the river and it was quite a sight. You clap in excitement and run towards the edge of the river to get a closer look. They were all bunched together, and you worried how they would fish out the little ducks accurately.

“I don’t know how they do it, but they manage to pluck out the first 10 so easily. It’s like magic.” Furlan says in reassurance. He must have noticed the concern on your face. He laughs and leans against the little stone wall that surrounds the river on both sides. “I’m sure it’s just because they’ve had so many years to perfect it though.”

The rest of your crew lines up against the wall, watching the ducks go down the river. You have to squint because of how the sun reflects off the water, but otherwise it’s a quiet and nice moment to have with everyone. The breeze from the river blows past and you inhale the subtle but sweet smell of the cherry blossoms. Levi stands next to you stoically, his arms crossed the way he does as he stares off. His weight shifted to his left leg. He’s done well to hide it from everyone else, but you could tell easily that he was limping from all the pressure he was putting on his knee.

‘You okay?’ You sign to him, giving him a soft smile.

“I’m fine.” He shrugs his shoulders. Something was bothering him, and it didn’t feel like it was just his knee pain. His eyes glance up to yours, and his hard features loosen. “Really, I’m okay.” You’re not convinced, but you nod in acknowledgement anyways.

“They got winners!” Furlan yells out beside you, pointing down the river. There’s a crew holding up a green flag to signal the end of the race.

“Ooh let’s go see who won, yeah?” Hange’s eyes gleam with excitement and starts making their way to the finish line with the rest of the group in tow. You keep your steps slow so you can keep up with Levi while everyone else trails ahead quite a bit. He gives you a side-eye as you pretend not to notice, fingers fidgeting with the necklace around your neck.

“Tch, I know what you’re doing.” He mumbles. He hesitates, then whispers a soft thank you.

Near the finish line was a sort of stage, something you suspect might be used for the live music later in the day. There was a man at the podium lining up the ducks as a crowd started gathering at the base of it, all ready and excited to see who the raffle winners were. You all decided to stick to the back because of how big the crowd was getting.

After a moment, the announcer made a statement of where the winners needed to go to gather their prizes and then started listing off the numbers one by one. Unfortunately, no one in your group had a winning duck yet, though Levi never looked disappointed. In fact, he actually looked quite pleased that he hadn’t won anything.

“Aaand first place goes to… number 23!!”

“NO freaking way, that’s me!” Furlan shouts. He leans down and gives your cheek a chaste kiss before running off to the designated spot to collect his prize. You stand stock-still, pulling your hand up to where his lips just were, not really sure how to react to it. Something grumbles behind you. When you turn, you see a listless Levi, eyes off to the side but furrowed. Your heart pangs with guilt, for why exactly though you're not sure. You bite the inside of your cheek in thought. Furlan calls your name.

“You’ll never believe what’s in here!” He runs up to your group, out of breath and waving an envelope in the air. He takes a moment to bend and lean against his knees so he can gather himself.

“Well spit it out, what did you win!?” Hange asks eagerly.

“They’re airfare ticket vouchers! $500 each.” Furlan stands up straight with a huge smile.

“Each? How many did you get?” Erwin raises an eyebrow, curious now.

“Two. Which means,” He grabs one of the slips of paper and holds it out to you. “You get half.” You feel your eyes bug at his statement. Raising your hands defensively, you shake your head no. You eye Hange as you start signing, and they understand right away.

‘I can’t do that, you won them.’

“Yeah, but with the ticket you bought. You deserve some of the prize too.” He grabs your hand and clenches your fingers over the piece of paper, like you had done with him earlier. “Take it, please. At least share this victory with me.”

You eye him skeptically, unsure of what to say. The way he looks at you, with his wide eyes and cocky smile. You can’t say no. And, well, you did buy that ticket. After a beat, you nod and pull the paper to your chest and shoot him a big smile.

“Yes, thank you! Isn’t this awesome? I have no idea what I’m going to use it on, but I guess we’ll see in the future.” He pulls his shirt up so he can tuck the envelope in the waistband of his jeans.

Before you all know it, the sun is high in the sky and the rest of the festivities are in full swing. The sounds of screaming and laughter fill the air as the rest of the town arrives in droves. Erwin had suggested that you all rest and recoup to take a break from the crowd. So that’s why you and the others were sitting on plush grass under the shade of cherry blossom trees, eating lunch from the miscellaneous vendors around. None of you had thought to bring a blanket to sit on unfortunately, but that didn’t bother you. Levi, on the other hand.

“Tch, are we really okay with getting grass stains on our clothes?” Levi grumbles as he places his garbage on the pile of already accumulating trash sitting in the center of your small circle.

“You could always stand.” Erwin’s currently leaning against the tree, propped up on one shoulder as he sips his drink. His eyes light up at the sour expression he’s shot with.

“Or you could just live a little. It’s just some grass and dirt, Levi.” Hange tuts as they ball up their own wrapper and throws it in the pile as well, a smile playing on their lips in a mocking manner.

“I’m sure your 5-step laundry system will get out any stains.” Furlan adds in with a chuckle. He pulls at his little dish of fries as he side-eyes you as you laugh along.

“That’s not the point, you idiots.” Levi mutters as he leans back against the tree next to Erwin and closes his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest as he does. Despite his terse words, he looks very relaxed. You don’t blame him. It was such a lovely spring day. A warm burst of air breezes through as if responding to your mental compliment. Smiling widely, you throw yourself backwards into the grass and stretch your limbs out.

The sun filters through the trees onto your face and you close your eyes as well, relishing the warmth. Unbeknownst to you, Levi is cracking his good eye open to peek at the serene expression complimenting your pretty features.

It's like this for a while. At some point, Erwin had disappeared to find a ‘gentleman’s room’ as he called it. Hange and Furlan were in the middle of a conversation about some movie that came out last week. You're resting with your arms splayed above you, your vision turning pink from the sun hitting your eyelids. The warm rays caress your exposed skin like a comforting hug. The soft running of the river pairs well with the rustling of the blossoms above you from the breeze. You sigh in content.

All of a sudden, your face feels cool from something blocking the sunlight above you. You swat at it thinking it’s your sister but then something nips at your fingers. Hange was weird, but not that weird. You have to squint after initially opening your eyes due to the bright surroundings but when your vision finally focuses, you freeze. Standing above you is a massive white goose, its head bent back slightly as it stares down at you.

You scramble to stand up and the goose’s head rises with you, never breaking eye contact. You take a couple tentative steps back. The wings had unfurled in a guarded, hostile stance - it seems you had made it mad. Every step back was not enough to distance yourself from it as it kept pace with you.

You hear Levi and Furlan calling your name, but you don’t look over. You always laughed at the idea of geese, but now the source of terror stands right in front of you. The goose had its beak slightly open and you’re quick to spot rows of sharp teeth.

“Hey, look at me.” Levi says softly. When you glance over with a side eye, he’s watching you carefully. You swallow hard. “Keep backing away slowly. It should leave you alone once it sees you’re not a threat.”

As if Levi had cursed you with his words, you step back on a twig with a ‘crack’ and there’s a moment of silence as you stare horrified before all hell breaks loose. And then you’re running for your life down the grassy field. You hear something chasing after you and you pump your legs harder. The wind blows past your ears, and it takes everything in you to hurdle over the obstacles in front of you - those obstacles being people.

You don’t know how long you’ve been running but you're winded faster than you would like. Not to mention that by the looks of it, you were about to run out of open field. You were going to have to face your opponent sooner than later. Taking a deep breath and steeling your resolve, you twist your body around and blindly kick towards the goose. Except, you don’t make contact with a goose.

“Gah!” Levi doubles over in front of you, groaning from the ground as he clutches his stomach. When you look behind him, Hange and Furlan are chasing the goose away loudly screaming and clapping. You drop to your knees and place your hands on his shoulders to shake him gently to get his attention. When he raises his head to look at you, you're met with glazed, dark eyes.

"Are you… okay?" He mutters hoarsely through gritted teeth.

'Me?! But you?!' You sign back, emphasizing your words with a bemused expression.

"I just... need... a minute." Levi falls backwards so that he's on his butt. A hiss of air escapes his lips as he lands, his face scrunched up as the waves of pain subside. "I don't know what your intent was with that kick, but I have a feeling you would have sent that goose straight to hell." He coughs a little and stares up at you with an amused glint in his eyes.

‘I’m sorry, I panicked.’  He waves his hand dismissively.

You decide to sit with him as he catches his breath. You can’t keep the embarrassed flush from heating up your face. You pick at the grass anxiously as you keep replaying what just happened in your head. This is not something you would forget, unfortunately. Especially having hurt Levi.

“What did the grass ever do to you?” You hear Levi joke next to you, his voice back to a normal octave and significantly less breathy.

‘Sure you’re okay?’ You glance over to him sheepishly, fiddling with a blade of grass in between your fingers. He meets your gaze.

“I’m fine, seriously. But you should consider going pro with those legs of yours.” After a beat, he realizes what he said and clears his throat, looking away. “You know, like soccer or something.” The tips of his ears are already turning red.

“Are you two okay?!” You hear Hange screaming from the other side of the park, arms waving to get your attention. You shoot her two thumbs up.

“We should probably get back.” Levi grunts as he pushes himself up. There’s a considerable amount of weight he’s putting into his left leg, like earlier. But you figure if you ask him if he’s okay again, he might scold you. So, you opt to stay quiet as you watch him with caution.

“Are you coming?” His hand is outstretched towards you to take, which you do so without hesitating. His skin is rather warm against yours, callous yet soft. He pulls you up without effort, and he ends up having to grip your arm to steady you so you don’t fall face first from the force. He considers you with a slight smile and then starts off to the rest of your friends, with you following closely behind.

The sun is just verging towards the end of the horizon the next time you’re conscious of the time. Oranges and pinks start to fill the sky. Somehow the day just slipped right by while you were all playing carnival games and jumping on the very questionable rides around the grounds. And it was all so fun. Your face ached from the contagious smiles and laughs that surrounded you.

There was even a time where you had talked Levi into trying the absurd ice cream flavors from a stall suspiciously located all by itself off the beaten path. The glare full of daggers was resounding but he caved. It actually wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be, but he disagreed strongly.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad don’t you.” Hange mumbles to the right of you, breaking you out of your thoughts. You were waiting by the sinks in the public restroom for your sister to finish up their business. You peer at them with confusion at their random question. They flick their eyes down to your fidgeting fingers that currently twisted the cherry blossom necklace dangling around your neck.

“For Levi.” Both were confident statements. You blow a raspberry at them and roll your eyes. Letting go of the charm, you lift your hands to say something, but you’re at a loss for words. In all honesty, you’ve never really sat down to think about your feelings for Levi past the ‘I like being around him’ thoughts. The comfort he emanated was enough for you, so you never gave it a second thought. But if the little moments throughout the day with him accomplished anything, it was the establishment of your feelings in a new light. Whatever those feelings may be.

‘Just a friend.’ Is all you sign back.

“Are you sure about that?” They tut and grip your biceps in both hands as they face you head on, their eyes bouncing back and forth between yours. A small smile plays on their lips, but when you say nothing back, she nods and walks out the bathroom door with you in tow.

The men are waiting outside the building, seemingly in an in-depth conversation. You catch Levi’s eye on your way over, your heart skipping a beat at the way the late golden sun rays hit his pale skin. His eyes flick back over to Furlan and Erwin’s conversation.

“There’s just a little more time before the fireworks go off. What now?” Hange calls out a few steps away, grabbing the men’s attention.

“It’s almost sunset! It’s the best time to check out the ferris wheel.” Furlan chips in.

‘Oh yeah, I’d love to check that out!’

“Sure thing. There’s something I wanted to see over there anyways.” Erwin smiles and turns, leading the charge. You end up falling back so that you’re at the tail end of the line. When you glance back, you see Levi trailing behind with his eyes fixated on you. Your step fumbles momentarily and you whip your head back around so you can watch where you were going. A soft huff-like laugh from behind makes you bite your lip in embarrassment.

The line luckily only had a handful of people in it. But with the wheel currently going, there was a little bit of a wait in front of you. You were behind a group of four kids who were currently goofing off and laughing with each other.

“C’mon Jean, you gotta get over it sooner than later.” A closely shaven haired kid blurts out with a hard laugh.

“No! I’ve asked him multiple times to stop calling me horse face! Now the whole class is in on it. It pisses me off!” The kid named Jean yells out. He's currently staring down at his phone, light from the screen illuminating his very agitated face.

“Hey, let’s quiet down. We’re out in public, you know.” A kid with freckles chuckles nervously, his eyes sweeping around the small crowd around them. They land on a figure in front of them furiously stuffing something in their mouth. “Sasha, what are you eating now?”

A girl with red hair turns with powdered sugar all over her face and she’s mid chew, her eyes wide and expressive. “Deep fried Oreos.” Her voice is muffled by the food stuffed in her mouth.

“How did you even manage to grab those? We’ve been in line this whole time.” Freckles asks exasperated. The shaven haired kid reaches over to the doughy goodness only for the plate to be whisked away with an almost growl coming from the red-headed girl. They start lightly wrestling. You laugh quietly at their antics with fondness. They reminded you of you and your siblings around that age.

After what feels like forever, the ferris wheel cars start unloading and reloading. The kids in front got into their own car, a couple of them pushing each other with laughter as they filed in. Unfortunately, each car could only house four people at a time. Erwin opted out of the ride, but then Levi and Hange got into an argument about who would stay behind so that Erwin wouldn't be left alone. Ultimately Hange won. Oddly enough, Levi didn’t seem too bothered by it as much as he let on.

That left you, Furlan, and Levi in one car. When you step in, the car wobbles ever so slightly and you have to grab on to the side to steady yourself. Someone places a hand on your back for support and when you glance back to see who it is, you see Furlan smiling up at you from the platform. You give him a nod of appreciation and turn to sit on one of the benches. The metal is cold even through your clothes and it makes you shiver.

With the sun almost gone, the sky now a stunning mixture of blues and purples littered with pale stars, the air was getting cooler by the minute. Furlan settles himself in the spot next to you, shooting you a half-cocked grin. Levi gingerly sits himself down on the bench across from you and takes a moment to use both hands to massage the kneecap of his bad leg with a grimace.

'Okay?' Levi shifts his gaze up to you at the hand movement.

"Fine." You smile at him softly, but he's already looking off to the side at the man closing the car door.

A moment later, you feel the car shift and then you're ascending slowly, cool air blowing from behind. You shift in your seat so that you can lean over to the side better, but the car is so small that your leg bumps into Levi. An apology is already on your fingertips, but Levi stops you with a look.

"No need. You're okay."

'Leg? Okay?' You frown.

"Fine." That word again. “Just a lot of wal-"

"Now look at this view!" Furlan cuts Levi off with a yell. His sudden loudness makes you flinch. He's got his body half-hanging out of the car as he stares out to the ground. You just now notice the wheel had stopped moving and the car was sitting almost at the top. When you look over on your side, you stare in awe at the lit-up festival grounds beneath you. The warm yellow glow is broken up by various multicolor neon signs and string lights. People mill around and the sound of muffled chatter makes its way up to your ears.

By this time, the sunlight was completely gone and replaced by a bright full moon with twinkling lights dancing around it. They remind you of Levi. His leg was still pressed up against yours. Glancing over, you see his head tilted up to gaze at the stars as well, his hair swept back out of his face. As if he could feel you watching him, his own heavy-lidded eyes peer at you over his cheeks. From this position, the way the moonlight illuminated his body… he was breathtaking. Divine, even.

"Where's Hange and Erwin?" You all stepped off the platform to wait for the two in question on the ground, but crowds of people filed out and the wheel was going again. Neither your sister nor tall, blonde friend had made an appearance.

"I bet they ran off to do something stupid." Levi mutters next to you.

"I know I haven’t known the two of them as long as you both have, but I get the feeling that they have an annoying habit of doing that." Furlan chuckles. He stretches his arms above his head with a yawn.

"It’s almost your bedtime, old timer." Levi jabs. Furlan punches him in the arm with a wide grin.

"You're one to talk, grandpa. Anyways, where to now?" His bright eyes glance over at you.

‘I need something to drink.’ You sign lazily, increasingly aware of your parched throat with every step. Levi nods to you in understanding and starts making a path towards the vendors closer to the heart of the festival without a word. You’ve noticed in the past month or so that Levi had surprised you with his quick ability to pick up signs, even specific ones.

Hange had made a comment about it a week ago but the way he brushed it off made you too nervous to talk to him about it, so you didn’t. You only wished you could have told him how much it warmed your heart to see him learning, whether it was on purpose or not.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t realized you lost sight of Levi and Furlan. The sounds of the crowd suddenly become louder as you’re pulled back to reality. You bite your bottom lip anxiously as you scan around, people’s faces and bright lights becoming a blur. Suddenly you feel a hand pulling at you and you’re being tugged out of the crowd by a strong grip. You were about to sigh in relief, but the hand felt unfamiliar to you. You attempt to pull back, but their fingers are wrapped tightly around your forearm, and you don’t have enough leverage to break free.

“There you are.” You don’t recognize the voice. The face you see when you look up is not one you’ve seen before but one that will haunt you forever. Dark shadowed eyes and a gaunt face, yellowed teeth bared at you with a nasty smile. You pull your arm even harder, eyes wide in panic, but the grip gets tighter. Instantly, you’re small again cowering on the floor of an old foster home. You open your mouth, like you’re going to scream, but nothing comes out.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing out here alone?” He purrs at you as he pulls you closer. His breath smells of strong liquor and is hot against your face. You go to kick him in the shins but it’s like the impact doesn’t even phase him. You lacked the velocity to do any damage, and he just chuckles darkly at your bleak endeavor. “Got a fighter, I see.” He begins to pull you closer to him and you have to use every muscle in your body to push away from him, your free hand trying to pry his fingers off your skin at the same time.

“Get your grotesque hands off her.” An icy voice calls out from behind you. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes because it’s a voice that you do recognize. The man smirks and is about to say something back but when his gaze flicks to the side of you, you see his face go a sickly shade of gray. The grip on your arm lessens greatly so you take this opportunity to shake him off and step back, rubbing the sore spot where his fingers once were.

“I-I’m sorry sir, I didn’t realize she was yours.” He stumbles back. You glance behind to see the scariest expression you’ve ever seen grace Levi’s face. The snarl pulls at his lips with a sharpness in his eyes. What you don’t notice right away are the cups that were once filled with some sort of liquid were now crushed in his trembling hands, purely from anger. The drinks pool at his feet but he doesn’t blink an eye, his focus strictly on the assailant in front of you.

“Yeah, she’s mine. Leave now before I make you regret ever waking up today.” Levi spits venom into every syllable. His aura radiates so much danger that you could feel it from where you stood. At that, the man runs off. Levi steps over to you, throwing the cups into a nearby trash can as he does. His gaze is noticeably softer when he centers in on you and the shaken state you’re in.

“Are you okay?” Levi speaks in a low, gentle voice. Taking a shaky breath, you sign a no with a trembling hand. He tenderly takes your forearm and inspects your skin under the streetlight that lingered above you. His hands are sticky from whatever beverages he had managed to procure for you. In the yellow light, you see a red hand-shaped imprint. Your arm will definitely bruise tomorrow, much to your dismay.

“Sick bastard, putting his hands on you like that.” He grumbles, his gaze stuck on your arm as he speaks. You’re reminded of that incident at the gala that felt like a lifetime ago. Taking your free hand, you pull your phone out from your back pocket and start up a new memo.

‘Thank you. For saving the damsel in distress. I needed it.’ He glances up at you incredulously. It takes a moment to sink in, but when he realizes what you mean, his lips quirk up into a half smile. A huff escapes his lips in what you think might be a laugh.

“Thanks for the gratitude. Brat.” He drops your arm carefully.

‘Where’s Furlan?’ You stand on your toes to look over the crowd, but you don’t see your taller friend anywhere. The way Levi’s face falls at your question goes unnoticed.

“Why? I’m sure he’s off doing his own thing.” Levi scoffs. You frown at his sudden attitude, stealing a glance at his uninterested face.

‘He’s your friend, aren’t you worried?’ He rolls his eyes, which were currently lit up from your phone screen.

“He’s fine. I’ll send him a message to let him know where we are.” And like that, the topic of Furlan is closed. You sigh as you take a moment to text your sister where you two were located. You look around for a noticeable landmark to direct them, and you spot the live stage to your left. No one was playing at the moment, probably on their break or waiting for the fireworks, you think. Instead, there is contemporary music playing from the stage speakers and a couple of people dancing.

‘Aren’t those employees of your café?’ You slide him your phone and then point to the dance floor when he looks up. A girl with medium-length hair the same shade as Levi is in the arms of her boyfriend and they’re currently swaying to the beat. You haven’t had much of a chance to really speak to Eren and Mikasa because normally when you came to visit the café, it was close to closing and they were already off due to being in school. They look so happy.

“Looks like they’re having fun.” Levi responds in a blasé tone. You stand there imagining that it was you and Levi instead out on the floor, him holding you just as tightly. You blink hard to get that visual out of your head. What a silly sentiment. A cold breeze blows through your hair, and it makes you shiver. You wrap your arms around yourself to hold in some warmth.

“Cold?” You nod sheepishly. You remembered halfway into the day that you had left your coat on the armrest of the couch in your excitement. Levi hums and you watch as he pulls off his leather jacket and then his hoodie. Your eyes flick to his exposed abdomen as he pulls off each layer, polished and toned. You look away quickly as you chide yourself for even staring.

“Here.” he says after a few beats. When you look back over, he has his leather jacket back on but is handing you his dark hoodie. Your eyes widen at the gesture, and out of instinct you shake your head no with a ‘thank you’ at the end of it. He pushes it over to you anyways, an earnest look on his face.  

“You look miserable. Just take it.” You frown at him again.

‘You’re one to talk, grumpy.’ You sign at him but take the hoodie anyways.

When you have it pulled down all the way, you can’t help the heat from searing across your cheeks as you feel the thick cloth hugging at every inch of your torso and arms. It seems your noticeable height difference had a huge disadvantage when it came to sharing clothes, not like it was ever anything you had thought about before. You look over to Levi whose gaze is intently fixated on you. His eyes flick up to yours and he looks away quickly, clearing his throat. Sharp, gray eyes side-eye you as he speaks.

“I-um. Are you warm?” You slide your cold fingers into the front pocket and smile at him, though the embarrassment was still eating away at you. You tuck your chin in the collar to get more warmth - it smelled just like Levi. Clean laundry, musky body wash, and surprisingly, a hint of lavender. It was calming in more ways than one. And it was so soft.

“I’m sure they’ll find us soon. The fireworks are about to start. Let’s go find a spot.” He mutters as he turns around on his heel and walks down towards the river without another word. You inhale another whiff as you follow him, smiling to yourself under the collar.

.

Levi and you had found a spot under the trees, out of the crowd just like he wanted. People shuffle around as they find their own designated spot, all laughing and talking. The festival lights dance off the river’s reflection as it flows steadily and not a single cloud obstructs the sky. It was so peaceful, stunning even.

But it was nowhere near as stunning as you were, leaning back to rest on your arms so you could stare up into the sky. It felt like every part of you overwhelmed his brain. The way his hoodie clung to your body, the way you looked at him, your stupidly sweet smile. The way his heart races any time he sees you let alone thinks about you. How could he not? Your eyes shift over to him, and he’s suddenly aware of his staring.

‘What?’ You sign to him. You’ve sat back up to stare at him, a perplexed expression across your face.

“Nothing. You just look relaxed.”

‘Yes. I am happy.’ Another soft smile that lit up your eyes. Levi didn’t miss how you made a conscious decision to simplify your signs just for him so he would understand. Through every interaction in the last couple months, you had left him with more knowledge on how to communicate better, but you assumed it was only the small stuff. Little did you know, he was currently taking late night lessons because he couldn’t stand not being able to look into your eyes when you messaged him.

‘You?’ A frown replaces your smile.

“Me what?”

‘Happy?’ You stare straight into his eyes as you ask, searching. This prompts a signature Levi eye roll.

“I don’t know.” He glances back over to your face and the noticeable drop in your demeanor has him scrambling to recant his statement. “I think I am. It’s nice here, I guess.” With you. He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as he watches your face turn back into a big smile. With that you nod, satisfied with his answer, and lay back down against your forearms like you were before.

Levi sighs under his breath and goes to do the same. But then he feels his hand grazing against yours, fingers lightly resting on top of each other, and an electrified shock passes from his arm all the way through his body. You don’t pull your hand away though, and neither does he.

In fact, you’re still staring at him with a look he couldn’t discern. You cautiously wrap your pinky around his own and offer him a reassuring smile. He doesn’t think twice about tightening his grip. The sounds of laughter and idle chatter dimmed away to the sound of his reverberating heartbeat that threatened to blow out his ears. What would it be like to kiss you right now, he asks himself. Your eyes flick down to his half-parted lips as he says your name in an almost-like whisper. Your eyes are a brilliant shade under the moonlight. When did you get so close?

“There you two are!!” You both jump away as you hear Hange’s earth-shattering shriek from behind, any contact now left cold from whatever that moment was with you. Levi hisses out of frustration. You’re already getting up to stand to meet the newcomers, so he does the same. Shitty-glasses and their shitty timing.

“I didn’t realize y’all had already found a place to sit! We were waiting by the dance floor this whole time.” Hange tuts as they playfully punch your arm. Erwin stood a couple feet away, currently on the phone with someone. The expression on his face gave the implication that it was not a pleasant conversation.

‘Sorry, a lot happened, and I got distracted easily. You found us though!’ A fake smile pulls at your lips. There’s a glance in your direction but it’s gone as quick as it happened. He didn’t imagine that, did he? Were you ignoring what happened intentionally or pretending it never happened? Levi kicks himself mentally and disguises his face in indifference as he speaks.

“Yeah, where the hell did you both even go? And have you seen Furlan?”

“I haven’t seen him, no. And we were wandering! Erwin suggested it. Also,” Hange reaches into their pocket and pulls out their phone. They flip to their contacts and then shoves the phone in your face. Levi blinks at the sudden change in brightness. “I got someone’s number!”

“So, you ditched us to chase after someone?” Levi crosses his arms over his chest.

“Nooo, I ditched you guys to wander, I just said that! This was just a bonus.” Hange purses their lips. “I gotta tell you about them! They’re just so…” Levi zones their voice out and watches as a laugh escapes your lips as you reach for your sister, an adoring smile lighting up your features as you ask questions about who it was that they found. Levi’s phone vibrates and when he slides it out, Furlan’s name is bold on the screen. Sighing, he presses the green button and pulls it to his ear.

“What?”

“H-hey sorry! I didn’t mean to ditch, I got lost and then sidetracked.” Levi stares over to you as you sign animatedly, laughter at your sister shaking your body as you converse. “Anyways, I was calling to let you know I haven’t been murdered or anything.”

“Tch, wouldn’t be the worst thing if that happened.”

“You jest but where would you be without your best friend? Probably in prison.”

“Whatever you say. Where are you then, if not dead?”

“Oh, I grabbed another bag of kettle corn and went home. I have an early shift anyway so…” There’s a moment of pause before Furlan’s soft voice mutters through the speaker, “Do you like her?”

“Who?” Levi grumbles, pinching his lips together.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I saw the way you looked at her all day.” You’re glancing over to him now, your eyes shining in a way that makes his heart melt. Hange says something else, and you break eye contact as you double over in a fit of giggles.

“You don’t know what you’ve seen.”

“So, it’s okay that I ask her out on a date then?” Silence. “That’s what I thought. Levi, you’re allowed happiness you know. Stop thinking something bad is going to happen.”

“Sure, but I doubt she feels the same.”

“You never know unless you ask. Anyways, I’m calling it. Talk to you soon, old man.” The line clicks and then he’s gone.

A resounding boom explodes from behind Levi, the sign that the fireworks show had just begun. The look on your face when you twist around mid-conversation to stare at the remarkable display left Levi in awe. The colors that danced off your face as you smiled up to the sky, your body practically jumping up and down from your enthusiasm. You were breathtaking to him in every way, and he decided right then and there that he just wanted you. Just you, and no one else.

.

The night ended in quick goodbyes as everyone had work the next morning, besides you of course. After dropping the boys off, you made quick work of the drive back home. Your mind kept wandering back to the spot under the tree, where you’re certain you had almost kissed him. Wait, you almost kissed him. What is wrong with you, you chide yourself. You were just caught in the euphoria of the day, that’s all.

You repeat that to yourself as you climb up the stairs to your shared apartment. Hange’s voice is dull against your raging thoughts, but you’re pretty sure they were still rambling about the person they met tonight. You go to unlock the door but are stopped mid-turn by Hange grabbing your hand to get your attention. Glancing over, you see a concerned look etched into their face.

“Are you okay?”

‘Fine.’ You unlock the door and push it open. ‘Tired.’ You yawn to emphasize, which really wasn’t a lie. Though your mind was far from tired, the events of today really wore you out.

“Me too. I could use a 30 hour nap. But I suppose 7 hours will do, for now.” They laugh as you both walk in the door, making sure to lock it behind you. You throw your bag onto the little side table before reaching down slowly to pull your shoes off. Something in your back pops. You were going to be so sore tomorrow, you groan to yourself.

“Hey, is that Levi’s jacket?” You glance down at the tight fabric around your torso. Shit.

‘Yeah, he let me borrow it. I completely forgot to hand it back to him.’

“I’m just surprised he forgot. He’s usually so meticulous about his things.” Hange says as she hangs her things up and pads to the kitchen to get something to drink. “It’s fine, we’ll probably see them again soon so you can give it back then.” Part of you didn’t want to, though.

You snap to get your sister’s attention before signing, ‘I’m going to shower then bed. Let me know if you need anything.’

“I should probably do the same. But hey,” They eye you carefully. “Are you sure you’re okay?? I notice Levi spends a lot of time around you.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at that, a habit you most definitely picked up from the guy in question.

‘It’s not like that. Everything is fine.’ You offer a reassuring smile. Everything was fine, just confusing.

“Okay, if you say so. But you do know you can talk to me about everything. Especially feelings for men. Certain raven-haired men that never smile.” They crack a big grin as you throw a couch pillow at their face on your way to your room. “Love you!!” You hear before you shut your door. How are you going to talk about your feelings about a certain terse man when you don’t even know how you’re feeling.

After your shower, you couldn’t help but pull Levi’s hoodie back over your head and snuggle into it. It might be smaller than what you’re used to, but it was very plush and warm. Not to mention the comforting smell that emanated from it any time you moved.

You curl up in your bed and yawn, recounting everything that happened today while fighting the urge to kick your feet like an overjoyed child. Suddenly the photo booth comes to mind. The photos! You fling yourself out of your bed and quietly tiptoe to the front hallway to grab your bag, making sure to be quiet so you don’t wake Hange - who could be heard snoring loudly from their room.

Back in your room, you empty the contents on your desk and grab what you were looking for; the film strip of the four of you. You focus on the last one as you lie back down on your bed, a blush creeping up your face while you stare. You press the photos to your chest again. There’s no mistaking it, there was something going on between you and Levi. Did he feel that too? How long were you both going to dance around the subject, you wonder.

On the off chance you are completely wrong though, you decide it might be best to wait. Saying something now might ruin what you both have, and you were not willing to risk that friendship. With the smell of Levi pervading your senses, you’re lulled into a deep slumber. The thoughts of him swirl through your brain and turn into pleasant dreams.

bzzzzz

Levi: I hope my hoodie kept you warm, please take care of it. Sleep well.

☾ Previous Chapter: March ☾ Next Chapter: May

[chaotic-on-main]

Chapter 6: April

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault (to be continued as writing is ongoing)

☾ Author's note ➼ *kicking my feet excitedly* hey guys, turns out I was just being dramatic. I'm actually really happy with how this turned out. Could it be better? Sure, but that doesn't change that I'm happy with what it is right now. This is super long, but I promise it's worth it. It's filled with tropes and fluff and surprises and I hope you guys enjoy it! Also just a quick 'I'm sorry' for making you wait so long! I was struggling with some bad writers block and then I got covid so things just couldn't pick up the way I wanted them to. But it's here now!! As always, if you missed the last chapter you can find it here!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k (huehue)

The Sakura Festival held downtown was unlike anything you’ve ever been to before. Since Hange and you had moved here sometime over the summer, you had missed all of what Jinae’s spring had to offer. Suffice it to say, though you didn’t know it yet, it was well worth waking up for at 8 in the morning. Your sister, however, thought otherwise as you both sped down the streets towards Levi and Erwin’s apartment while she curled up in her seat.

“I just don’t understand why we have to go right when it opens. It’s going to be…” Hange pauses to yawn heavily. “…an all-day thing.” They finish with a big stretch in the passenger seat. You shoot her a quick displeased glance and they throw their hands up in the air.

“Okay, okay. I know, you’re excited and want to see everything. But I didn’t get to bed until like 3 in the morning. So, excuse me if I’m exhausted.” They mumble before giving in to yet another big yawn. You roll your eyes at them. It’s not like this was sprung upon them last minute. After the conversation with Levi at the diner last month, it was all you could think and talk about. Well, not all. Your thoughts were clouded with more Levi than usual. He'd been much more open to you the past couple weeks than in the last 5 months combined. The progress was rocky, sure. But progress was still progress. Fortunately, Hange still hadn’t asked for any details of what happened that night, but she knew something was up. You fiddle mindlessly with your necklace at these thoughts, the one you haven’t taken off since it was put on by Levi.

“Thinking about Shorty?” Hange cuts in with a teasing voice. You blindly swat at them without looking over, frowning. “Hey! It’s not my fault you’re smiling like an idiot right now!” They laugh and you swat at them again, but you can't help but break out into a matching grin.

Soon after, you park in the street across from the boys’ apartment and shoot Levi a text that you were there. You and Hange had suggested that they carpool with you since Erwin’s wrist was still on the mend and Levi had an aversion to driving himself. The reason why you were stuck behind the wheel, though, and not Hange, was because she was ‘too tired to drive’. You decided quickly that you would rather drive than get into a wreck because your sister fell asleep in the middle of the road.

In the corner of your eye, you see Levi bounding down the steps with his blonde best friend right behind him. You shift in your seat nervously, fingers tapping on the wheel. When they get closer, you're incapable of keeping your eyes off the two handsome men. Even for how warm it was today, you’re not surprised to see Levi wearing his leather jacket over a hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. Erwin is dressed in a relaxed fit blue button down and a pair of sunglasses that cover his matching eyes, a denim jacket flung over his shoulder by one finger. They could have been supermodels if they wanted to, you chuckle to yourself.

“Oooh here come the men. Do you think they rehearse that walk when they’re together?” Hange laughs. Levi and Erwin slide into the back seat a few moments later and you turn around in your seat to greet them with a massive smile and wave. Levi’s deadpan expression doesn’t faze you - though were you able to read his mind, you would know his heart was beating faster than a racehorse the moment he woke up today. Erwin teasingly ruffles Hange’s frazzled hair and pats the top of your head gently. You wouldn’t say it to his face, but he radiated such ‘dad vibes. Not that it bothered you any.

“Well look at you both!” Erwin boisterously exclaims as he beams to the two of you. You smile right back at him in satisfaction. You spent so many hours in the last week trying to find the right thing to wear today. A pair of off-white overalls cinches at your waist and stops at your thighs, the hem hugging at your skin effortlessly. Your favorite band t-shirt can be seen peeking over the straps. With your hair pulled up in a loose ponytail that created tendrils that fell in your face, the look was completed by your new favorite accessory. Which of course was perfect for the occasion. Levi’s gift glimmers in the sun as you shift in your seat. The gift giver himself had his eyes on you the moment he stepped into the vehicle and only looked away once you met his gaze. A soft blush creeps up your face while you turn to face the wheel.

The drive to the festival grounds was a relatively short one, thankfully. With the help of Erwin’s clear directions, you were able to get there without issue. But then you had to turn down Hange’s obnoxious loud metal music so you could focus on finding a place to park. Even showing up early, parking was a nightmare, and you could only find a spot about a 10-minute walk from the closest entrance.

Jinae has a fairly wide river that cuts through the heart of the town. The festival itself sat on the surrounding outer banks of it, both sides occupied by vendors and joined by a bridge that crossed over the crystal water. It was there on the banks of the river that most of the cherry blossom trees rested, swaying in the spring breeze that caused a flurry of petals to fly around. When you all make it to the archway, you can’t help but clap your hands and jump in excitement. The atmosphere was so lively already, and you could not wait to dive headfirst into what the festival had to offer.

“Well, what’s first on the docket?” Erwin inquires as he steps forward to stare out into the bustling square ahead. You’re already signing excitedly about today’s activities and Hange has to grab your hands to make you stop and start over. You give them an apologetic grin then take a deep breath before signing everything again, slowly this time.

‘There’s a parade of floats made out of flowers that starts in about fifteen minutes. Then there’s a duck race sometime in the afternoon. Not to mention the carnival rides, live music, and finally fireworks to finish the night!’ You had spent such an ungodly amount of time staring at the festival’s schedule that it was practically burned into the back of your skull. And like Hange mentioned earlier, you were dedicated to seeing it all.

“That sounds like a lovely plan, Love. Let’s get going so we can get a good spot then.” Hange says as they bump into your shoulder affectionately when they walk past, starting up a conversation with Erwin as he falls in step with theirs.

 You feel something tickle your scalp and as you reach up to see what it is, your hand feels another about to pull away. When you look over, you see Levi’s nimble fingers carefully plucking a blossom petal out of your hair. He mouths a wordless apology. Even with his uninterested face, his eyes couldn't hide his amusement. Amusement for what, though, you didn't know. Not even thinking twice do you grab his hand and start tugging him along into the depths of the crowd.

.

The parade was as magnificent as the pictures online portrayed, maybe even better. There were floats of various themes that you had a lot of fun discerning while you jumped around in the crowd. You had decided your favorite out of all of them was the oceanic one. There were all sorts of tropical flora that formed the shape of a conch shell in the center, and it sat on a bed of beautiful blues and whites that formed into waves around it.  You’ve never had the opportunity to go to the coast but seeing the float made you long for the sea in ways you’ve never had before. You hoped one day you’d get to go.

The second the last float drifted by, you wasted no time dragging your little group straight to the duck racing registrar. According to Levi, Jinae hosted this race as a fundraising event for the local orphanage in town. The premise is that people would pay for as many rubber ducks as they want for a certain amount of money and each duck had a number written on the bottom. Once everyone who wanted to enter did so, city officials then released all of the purchased ducks down the river to be collected at a certain point. Levi didn’t know of the specifics, but he said that eventually someone would fish them out at the designated finish line and people corresponding to the first 10 ducks that crossed would win a prize. It was the silliest thing you’ve ever heard of so naturally you brought money to participate.

Even if you didn’t win, you were happy to know it was going to something so worthy. To be perfectly honest though, the biggest reason you were so excited about it is because of the way Levi had talked about the race during your last hang out.

Hange decided to start hosting weekly movie nights at your shared apartment and of course everyone was invited. As usual, your sister chose something "ironically hilarious", not without a mischievous cackle. Much to Hange’s disappointment but not surprise, you and Levi chose to spend that time playing cards and talking about the Sakura Festival at the dining table instead. With it coming up so soon, you had wanted to pick Levi's brain on what you should check out first. Levi said that it had been years since he last went, so he wasn't the best person to ask. But when you asked about the duck races, his usual stone-cold exterior softened. Levi didn't elaborate, but you could tell by the way his voice lightened that he was quite fond of the fundraiser. So, if Levi liked it, then so did you.

To your delight, Erwin and Hange pay for one duck each. You purchase three like you had planned. And Levi purchases five. As he reaches into his wallet to pay, you can't help but watch in adoration at how carefree he seemed, like he was genuinely enjoying his time. His jaw and shoulders are slack and a small smile twitches at the corners of his scarred lips as he speaks to the booking clerk. Something pokes you in the side; it's your sister. Hange snickers at you with a gleam in their eyes. You stick your tongue out at them and they just poke you again, eliciting a small gasp from you.

"Everything okay?" You jump at Levi's sudden voice to the right of you. An eyebrow raises in concern, his eyes almost tinted blue from the clear sky above. You nod and roll your eyes in the direction of your sister, as if to say, 'Hange just being Hange.' He hums and looks down at his phone, lips pursing at whatever he was looking at.

"Furlan just texted me to let me know he’ll be here soon. " Levi slides his phone into his back pocket as he speaks.

"Furlan's coming?" Hange asks as they snake an arm around your shoulders.

"Yeah, he kind of invited himself." Levi mutters.

"Hey, the more the merrier." Erwin chuckles behind Hange. You smile in agreement, but the subtle disappointment in Levi's tone doesn’t escape your ears.

"There's no use in sitting around waiting. The races start in about an hour so why don't we use this time to wander?" Your sister raises a hand in the air as they start off in a random direction, their other arm linked with Erwin and currently pulling him along. Shaking your head in amusement, you and Levi follow close behind.

The Sakura Festival reminded you of the renaissance fair in the way that there were various booths and vendors that surrounded you, all selling anything and everything you’d expect. The only difference being the multitude of carnival rides and attractions that peppered around the grounds. That, and the very obvious size of the event itself. It wasn’t very crowded for now, but you suspect that will change later in the day. Hange calls out to you and Levi from ahead, arms waving above their head to get your attention.

"Guys! Look at this!" She's jumping up and down while pointing at a small but tall boxy contraption with a black curtain pulled to the side. Upon closer inspection, you notice there's a little space inside with a small bench and a computer screen sitting opposite it. It's a photo booth. You eye your sister quizzically.

"Well? Wanna try?" You shrug which Hange takes as an okay, a wild smile lighting up their face.

"Yes! Alright!! Levi, in you go!"

 "Wha- like hell!"

"C'mon! It'll be fun!" Hange grabs Levi's arm and pushes him inside the booth so forcefully that he slams onto the bench with a hiss. "Erwin, you'll have to pop your head in from the side, you're just too tall." And then her fingers are grasping your arm as she pulls both of you in before you can do anything to stop her. The booth is even smaller on the inside and with the way you both toppled in, you find yourself plopping on her lap like a child. Cozy is not the first word that comes to mind.

 "Ah, I can't reach the screen. Here, Levi, hold this." You suddenly feel your body being pushed to the side by Hange and a gasp escapes your lips as you find yourself in a new seat - Levi's lap. Levi grunts as you land. In a panic, you attempt to stand up but then his hands are on your hips and you’re being pulled down to his thigh closest to the wall, so that you are facing the camera at an angle. You can't bring yourself to look at him, and any knowledge on how to breathe vanishes. The sound of angry waves fills your ears as heat rushes to your cheeks. Oh my god. Is this really happening?

"'Everything okay?" Erwin's voice comes muffled. He pops his head through the curtain, and his bright blue eyes land on your wide ones. If he was thinking anything, he gave nothing away.

"Yup almost... got it!" Hange yells in triumph as they press down on something. "Get ready!" There's a beeping coming from the corner of the booth that must be the countdown, but you can hardly focus on it. All you can think about is the way you fit on Levi's lap. Beep. How flush your body was against his chest that you could feel his racing heart, no doubt beating at the same speed as yours, against your back. Beep. His shallow breaths tickling the back of your neck as you clenched your hands into tight fists that rest on your thighs. Beep. Levi shifts under you, his leg jostling you for a moment. Beep. Your brain is foggy, clouded by Levi. Levi, Levi, all Levi.

Your name is being called - distant sounding at first then loud and right next to you. You startle at the sudden noise and whip your head to the source. Erwin and Hange are staring at you from outside of the booth, sunlight filtering through the spaces around their bodies as they stand in the little doorway. They both have matching amused smirks lighting up their faces. Levi clears his throat from behind. As if zapped, you shoot up quickly from Levi's lap and scramble out the hole, palms sweaty in your tight fists. The cool, spring breeze softly hitting your flushed and hot face is very welcoming.

"You okay?" Erwin steps up next to you, his voice laced with concern.

'Yeah, just really hot and stuffy in there.' You sign back, taking a deep breath. It wasn't a lie. But the way Erwin eyed you makes you feel like he knows something you don't.

"Oh my gosh look at US!!" Hange squeals from behind you. When you turn to face them, they're smiling down at a couple strips of paper which you guess are the photocopies. They bound over to you and shoves one of the copies in your direction then gives the other to Erwin. "Here, one for each household."

 The sun glares off the film and you have to bring it close to your face so you can see the panels better. There are four photos total, all in color and bright from the flashes. Hange and Erwin are making different faces in each one, there's even one of them laughing mid-snap. But then you glance over to the other corner where you and Levi sit, and you want to throw yourself in the river in embarrassment.

The first two photos are the same. You're looking straight into the camera like a deer in the headlights, luckily with a small smile tugging at your lips but shock is very evident on your face. Levi is staring off to the side with a vacant expression, heavy lidded and slack. Both of you are red in the face though. The third one is blurry with movement. In the last one, you and Levi are looking at each other, his steely gray eyes flashing silver in the blinding light. A moment of you two staring at each other, something you don't remember doing, frozen in time. You flick your eyes up and over the little strip of paper in between your fingers to look at Levi. He's facing away with his hands in his pockets, his cheeks the same shade of red in the photo. Even if they were embarrassing, you find yourself pressing the photos close to your chest anyways.

"Alright, where to next!? We have plenty of time to kill." Hange exclaims.

So, the four of you did indeed kill time. It was mostly spent gawking at the vendors and making plans of what rides you all wanted to visit after the race. At one point Erwin and Hange got separated from you and Levi, leaving the two of you to seek refuge from the crowd under the shade of trees. Not a lot of conversation happened, you suspect because of the awkward moment at the photo booth. The revisiting thought makes you blush. You were on your toes trying to scan the ever-moving crowd for any signs of your sister when you heard an unsettling voice coming from the direction of where Levi stood currently.

"Hi little fella, got some tasty candy for you. Wanna try it?" Leaning down behind Levi with a comically large lollipop is a man decked out in the most garish of clown costumes. "It's reeaal good." Levi doesn't move.

The expression on his face would have been priceless had the clown been less horrifying. You give the clown a polite smile before gingerly grabbing Levi's hand, taking extra care of the missing digits, and dragging him away to a random direction within the crowd. He doesn't resist. He actually tightens his grip and pulls ahead so that he's the one leading. Taken aback by his sudden assertiveness, your heart does cartwheels. You're about to ask where he’s taking you until you see that he's pulling you in the direction of Hange and Erwin who are currently heading your way. His hand releases yours before reaching them, far too quickly for your liking.

"There you two are! We were looking everywhere. Were you both making out behind a tree?" Hange jokes. Hange has an ice cream cone in their hand and Erwin’s wrapped wrist has a heart shaped balloon tied to it.

‘Where the hell have you two been?’ Actively ignoring the crass joke thrown at you. You sign this at the same time as you hear a familiar playful voice chirp up from behind the pair in front of you.

“What’s this about making out?” Hange steps aside to reveal Furlan who had his hand in a bag of kettle popcorn. He pulls his hand out to wave at you with a big grin and you reciprocate with your own. “Did Levi finally find himself a suitor?”

“Shut up.” Levi flips Furlan off with a grumble.

“Sorry I’m so late. I slept in and then finding a parking spot was a nightmare! Where are we headed??” Furlan looks around your little group expectantly.

“We should probably start heading back to the race area because I think it’s about to start.” Erwin checks the gold watch strapped to his good wrist. It glints off the afternoon sun and you have to glance away so that it doesn’t blind you.

“Aw man, did I already miss the registration?” Furlan hangs his head low in disappointment.

“Well if you actually used the alarm function on your phone, you would have made it on time.” Levi retorts back dryly.

Reaching into the little purse dangling off your hip, you pull out your three ticket stubs with a random number on each of them and step up closer to Furlan. When you wave your hand to get his attention, he glances at you and then at your pinched fingers.

“Oh. No! Please, it’s okay. I can always try for next year.” He insists, holding his hands up in front of his chest defensively. You give him a soft smile as you pick one out and push it towards him anyways. “Are you sure?”

Rolling your eyes, you reach over to push the ticket into his open palm and using your other hand, you clamp his fingers around it so that it sits in his hand safely. “Well… okay. If you’re adamant. Thanks!” Furlan chuckles and tightens his hand around the ticket. He gives you a wink before shoving it into his jean pocket.

“That was very sweet of you.” Erwin whispers down to you as you all make your way to the finish line.

‘I didn’t want him to be left out.’ You sign back with a frown, and Erwin nods in understanding, a warm smile crinkling his eyes.

By the time you all make it to the starting line of the race, the ducks have already been released via crane. Hundreds of little ducks were floating down the river and it was quite a sight. You clap in excitement and run towards the edge of the river to get a closer look. They were all bunched together, and you worried how they would fish out the little ducks accurately.

“I don’t know how they do it, but they manage to pluck out the first 10 so easily. It’s like magic.” Furlan says in reassurance. He must have noticed the concern on your face. He laughs and leans against the little stone wall that surrounds the river on both sides. “I’m sure it’s just because they’ve had so many years to perfect it though.”

The rest of your crew lines up against the wall, watching the ducks go down the river. You have to squint because of how the sun reflects off the water, but otherwise it’s a quiet and nice moment to have with everyone. The breeze from the river blows past and you inhale the subtle but sweet smell of the cherry blossoms. Levi stands next to you stoically, his arms crossed the way he does as he stares off. His weight shifted to his left leg. He’s done well to hide it from everyone else, but you could tell easily that he was limping from all the pressure he was putting on his knee.

‘You okay?’ You sign to him, giving him a soft smile.

“I’m fine.” He shrugs his shoulders. Something was bothering him, and it didn’t feel like it was just his knee pain. His eyes glance up to yours, and his hard features loosen. “Really, I’m okay.” You’re not convinced, but you nod in acknowledgement anyways.

“They got winners!” Furlan yells out beside you, pointing down the river. There’s a crew holding up a green flag to signal the end of the race.

“Ooh let’s go see who won, yeah?” Hange’s eyes gleam with excitement and starts making their way to the finish line with the rest of the group in tow. You keep your steps slow so you can keep up with Levi while everyone else trails ahead quite a bit. He gives you a side-eye as you pretend not to notice, fingers fidgeting with the necklace around your neck.

“Tch, I know what you’re doing.” He mumbles. He hesitates, then whispers a soft thank you.

Near the finish line was a sort of stage, something you suspect might be used for the live music later in the day. There was a man at the podium lining up the ducks as a crowd started gathering at the base of it, all ready and excited to see who the raffle winners were. You all decided to stick to the back because of how big the crowd was getting. After a moment, the announcer made a statement of where the winners needed to go to gather their prizes and then started listing off the numbers one by one. Unfortunately, no one in your group had a winning duck yet, though Levi never looked disappointed. In fact, he actually looked quite pleased that he hadn’t won anything.

“Aaand first place goes to… number 23!!”

“NO freaking way, that’s me!” Furlan shouts. He leans down and gives your cheek a chaste kiss before running off to the designated spot to collect his prize. You stand stock-still, pulling your hand up to where his lips just were, not really sure how to react to it. Something grumbles behind you. When you turn, you see a listless Levi, eyes off to the side but furrowed. Your heart pangs with guilt, for why exactly though you're not sure. You bite the inside of your cheek in thought. Furlan calls your name.

“You’ll never believe what’s in here!” He runs up to your group, out of breath and waving an envelope in the air. He takes a moment to bend and lean against his knees so he can gather himself.

“Well spit it out, what did you win!?” Hange asks eagerly.

“They’re airfare ticket vouchers! $500 each.” Furlan stands up straight with a huge smile.

“Each? How many did you get?” Erwin raises an eyebrow, curious now.

“Two. Which means,” He grabs one of the slips of paper and holds it out to you. “You get half.” You feel your eyes bug at his statement. Raising your hands defensively, you shake your head no. You eye Hange as you start signing, and they understand right away.

‘I can’t do that, you won them.’

“Yeah, but with the ticket you bought. You deserve some of the prize too.” He grabs your hand and clenches your fingers over the piece of paper, like you had done with him earlier. “Take it, please. At least share this victory with me.”

You eye him skeptically, unsure of what to say. The way he looks at you, with his wide eyes and cocky smile. You can’t say no. And, well, you did buy that ticket. After a beat, you nod and pull the paper to your chest and shoot him a big smile.

“Yes, thank you! Isn’t this awesome? I have no idea what I’m going to use it on, but I guess we’ll see in the future.” He pulls his shirt up so he can tuck the envelope in the waistband of his jeans.

Before you all know it, the sun is high in the sky and the rest of the festivities are in full swing. The sounds of screaming and laughter fill the air as the rest of the town arrives in droves. Erwin had suggested that you all rest and recoup to take a break from the crowd. So that’s why you and the others were sitting on plush grass under the shade of cherry blossom trees, eating lunch from the miscellaneous vendors around. None of you had thought to bring a blanket to sit on unfortunately, but that didn’t bother you. Levi, on the other hand.

“Tch, are we really okay with getting grass stains on our clothes?” Levi grumbles as he places his garbage on the pile of already accumulating trash sitting in the center of your small circle.

“You could always stand.” Erwin’s currently leaning against the tree, propped up on one shoulder as he sips his drink. His eyes light up at the sour expression he’s shot with.

“Or you could just live a little. It’s just some grass and dirt, Levi.” Hange tuts as they ball up their own wrapper and throws it in the pile as well, a smile playing on their lips in a mocking manner.

“I’m sure your 5-step laundry system will get out any stains.” Furlan adds in with a chuckle. He pulls at his little dish of fries as he side-eyes you as you laugh along.

“That’s not the point, you idiots.” Levi mutters as he leans back against the tree next to Erwin and closes his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest as he does. Despite his terse words, he looks very relaxed. You don’t blame him. It was such a lovely spring day. A warm burst of air breezes through as if responding to your mental compliment. Smiling widely, you throw yourself backwards into the grass and stretch your limbs out. The sun filters through the trees onto your face and you close your eyes as well, relishing the warmth. Unbeknownst to you, Levi is cracking his good eye open to peek at the serene expression complimenting your pretty features.

It's like this for a while. At some point, Erwin had disappeared to find a ‘gentleman’s room’ as he called it. Hange and Furlan were in the middle of a conversation about some movie that came out last week. You're resting with your arms splayed above you, your vision turning pink from the sun hitting your eyelids. The warm rays caress your exposed skin like a comforting hug. The soft running of the river pairs well with the rustling of the blossoms above you from the breeze. You sigh in content.

All of a sudden, your face feels cool from something blocking the sunlight above you. You swat at it thinking it’s your sister but then something nips at your fingers. Hange was weird, but not that weird. You have to squint after initially opening your eyes due to the bright surroundings but when your vision finally focuses, you freeze. Standing above you is a massive white goose, its head bent back slightly as it stares down at you.

You scramble to stand up and the goose’s head rises with you, never breaking eye contact. You take a couple tentative steps back. The wings had unfurled in a guarded, hostile stance - it seems you had made it mad. Every step back was not enough to distance yourself from it as it kept pace with you. You hear Levi and Furlan calling your name, but you don’t look over. You always laughed at the idea of geese, but now the source of terror stands right in front of you. The goose had its beak slightly open and you’re quick to spot rows of sharp teeth.

“Hey, look at me.” Levi says softly. When you glance over with a side eye, he’s watching you carefully. You swallow hard. “Keep backing away slowly. It should leave you alone once it sees you’re not a threat.”

As if Levi had cursed you with his words, you step back on a twig with a ‘crack’ and there’s a moment of silence as you stare horrified before all hell breaks loose. And then you’re running for your life down the grassy field. You hear something chasing after you and you pump your legs harder. The wind blows past your ears, and it takes everything in you to hurdle over the obstacles in front of you - those obstacles being people.

You don’t know how long you’ve been running but you're winded faster than you would like. Not to mention that by the looks of it, you were about to run out of open field. You were going to have to face your opponent sooner than later. Taking a deep breath and steeling your resolve, you twist your body around and blindly kick towards the goose. Except, you don’t make contact with a goose.

“Gah!” Levi doubles over in front of you, groaning from the ground as he clutches his stomach. When you look behind him, Hange and Furlan are chasing the goose away loudly screaming and clapping. You drop to your knees and place your hands on his shoulders to shake him gently to get his attention. When he raises his head to look at you, you're met with glazed, dark eyes.

"Are you… okay?" He mutters hoarsely through gritted teeth.

'Me?! But you?!' You sign back, emphasizing your words with a bemused expression.

"I just... need... a minute." Levi falls backwards so that he's on his butt. A hiss of air escapes his lips as he lands, his face scrunched up as the waves of pain subside. "I don't know what your intent was with that kick, but I have a feeling you would have sent that goose straight to hell." He coughs a little and stares up at you with an amused glint in his eyes.

‘I’m sorry, I panicked.’  He waves his hand dismissively.

You decide to sit with him as he catches his breath. You can’t keep the embarrassed flush from heating up your face. You pick at the grass anxiously as you keep replaying what just happened in your head. This is not something you would forget, unfortunately. Especially having hurt Levi.

“What did the grass ever do to you?” You hear Levi joke next to you, his voice back to a normal octave and significantly less breathy.

‘Sure you’re okay?’ You glance over to him sheepishly, fiddling with a blade of grass in between your fingers. He meets your gaze.

“I’m fine, seriously. But you should consider going pro with those legs of yours.” After a beat, he realizes what he said and clears his throat, looking away. “You know, like soccer or something.” The tips of his ears are already turning red.

“Are you two okay?!” You hear Hange screaming from the other side of the park, arms waving to get your attention. You shoot her two thumbs up.

“We should probably get back.” Levi grunts as he pushes himself up. There’s a considerable amount of weight he’s putting into his left leg, like earlier. But you figure if you ask him if he’s okay again, he might scold you. So, you opt to stay quiet as you watch him with caution.

“Are you coming?” His hand is outstretched towards you to take, which you do so without hesitating. His skin is rather warm against yours, callous yet soft. He pulls you up without effort, and he ends up having to grip your arm to steady you so you don’t fall face first from the force. He considers you with a slight smile and then starts off to the rest of your friends, with you following closely behind.

The sun is just verging towards the end of the horizon the next time you’re conscious of the time. Oranges and pinks start to fill the sky. Somehow the day just slipped right by while you were all playing carnival games and jumping on the very questionable rides around the grounds. And it was all so fun. Your face ached from the contagious smiles and laughs that surrounded you. There was even a time where you had talked Levi into trying the absurd ice cream flavors from a stall suspiciously located all by itself off the beaten path. The glare full of daggers was resounding but he caved. It actually wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be, but he disagreed strongly.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad don’t you.” Hange mumbles to the right of you, breaking you out of your thoughts. You were waiting by the sinks in the public restroom for your sister to finish up their business. You peer at them with confusion at their random question. They flick their eyes down to your fidgeting fingers that currently twisted the cherry blossom necklace dangling around your neck.

“For Levi.” Both were confident statements. You blow a raspberry at them and roll your eyes. Letting go of the charm, you lift your hands to say something, but you’re at a loss for words. In all honesty, you’ve never really sat down to think about your feelings for Levi past the ‘I like being around him’ thoughts. The comfort he emanated was enough for you, so you never gave it a second thought. But if the little moments throughout the day with him accomplished anything, it was the establishment of your feelings in a new light. Whatever those feelings may be.

‘Just a friend.’ Is all you sign back.

“Are you sure about that?” They tut and grip your biceps in both hands as they face you head on, their eyes bouncing back and forth between yours. A small smile plays on their lips, but when you say nothing back, she nods and walks out the bathroom door with you in tow.

The men are waiting outside the building, seemingly in an in-depth conversation. You catch Levi’s eye on your way over, your heart skipping a beat at the way the late golden sun rays hit his pale skin. His eyes flick back over to Furlan and Erwin’s conversation.

“There’s just a little more time before the fireworks go off. What now?” Hange calls out a few steps away, grabbing the men’s attention.

“It’s almost sunset! It’s the best time to check out the ferris wheel.” Furlan chips in.

‘Oh yeah, I’d love to check that out!’

“Sure thing. There’s something I wanted to see over there anyways.” Erwin smiles and turns, leading the charge. You end up falling back so that you’re at the tail end of the line. When you glance back, you see Levi trailing behind with his eyes fixated on you. Your step fumbles momentarily and you whip your head back around so you can watch where you were going. A soft huff-like laugh from behind makes you bite your lip in embarrassment.

The line luckily only had a handful of people in it. But with the wheel currently going, there was a little bit of a wait in front of you. You were behind a group of four kids who were currently goofing off and laughing with each other.

“C’mon Jean, you gotta get over it sooner than later.” A closely shaven haired kid blurts out with a hard laugh.

“No! I’ve asked him multiple times to stop calling me horse face! Now the whole class is in on it. It pisses me off!” The kid named Jean yells out. He's currently staring down at his phone, light from the screen illuminating his very agitated face.

“Hey, let’s quiet down. We’re out in public, you know.” A kid with freckles chuckles nervously, his eyes sweeping around the small crowd around them. They land on a figure in front of them furiously stuffing something in their mouth. “Sasha, what are you eating now?”

A girl with red hair turns with powdered sugar all over her face and she’s mid chew, her eyes wide and expressive. “Deep fried Oreos.” Her voice is muffled by the food stuffed in her mouth.

“How did you even manage to grab those? We’ve been in line this whole time.” Freckles asks exasperated. The shaven haired kid reaches over to the doughy goodness only for the plate to be whisked away with an almost growl coming from the red-headed girl. They start lightly wrestling. You laugh quietly at their antics with fondness. They reminded you of you and your siblings around that age.

After what feels like forever, the ferris wheel cars start unloading and reloading. The kids in front got into their own car, a couple of them pushing each other with laughter as they filed in. Unfortunately, each car could only house four people at a time. Erwin opted out of the ride, but then Levi and Hange got into an argument about who would stay behind so that Erwin wouldn't be left alone. Ultimately Hange won. Oddly enough, Levi didn’t seem too bothered by it as much as he let on.

That left you, Furlan, and Levi in one car. When you step in, the car wobbles ever so slightly and you have to grab on to the side to steady yourself. Someone places a hand on your back for support and when you glance back to see who it is, you see Furlan smiling up at you from the platform. You give him a nod of appreciation and turn to sit on one of the benches. The metal is cold even through your clothes and it makes you shiver. With the sun almost gone, the sky now a stunning mixture of blues and purples littered with pale stars, the air was getting cooler by the minute. Furlan settles himself in the spot next to you, shooting you a half-cocked grin. Levi gingerly sits himself down on the bench across from you and takes a moment to use both hands to massage the kneecap of his bad leg with a grimace.

'Okay?' Levi shifts his gaze up to you at the hand movement.

"Fine." You smile at him softly, but he's already looking off to the side at the man closing the car door.

A moment later, you feel the car shift and then you're ascending slowly, cool air blowing from behind. You shift in your seat so that you can lean over to the side better, but the car is so small that your leg bumps into Levi. An apology is already on your fingertips, but Levi stops you with a look.

"No need. You're okay."

'Leg? Okay?' You frown.

"Fine." That word again. “Just a lot of wal-"

"Now look at this view!" Furlan cuts Levi off with a yell. His sudden loudness makes you flinch. He's got his body half-hanging out of the car as he stares out to the ground. You just now notice the wheel had stopped moving and the car was sitting almost at the top. When you look over on your side, you stare in awe at the lit-up festival grounds beneath you. The warm yellow glow is broken up by various multicolor neon signs and string lights. People mill around and the sound of muffled chatter makes its way up to your ears.

By this time, the sunlight was completely gone and replaced by a bright full moon with twinkling lights dancing around it. They remind you of Levi. His leg was still pressed up against yours. Glancing over, you see his head tilted up to gaze at the stars as well, his hair swept back out of his face. As if he could feel you watching him, his own heavy-lidded eyes peer at you over his cheeks. From this position, the way the moonlight illuminated his body… he was breathtaking. Divine, even.

"Where's Hange and Erwin?" You all stepped off the platform to wait for the two in question on the ground, but crowds of people filed out and the wheel was going again. Neither your sister nor tall, blonde friend had made an appearance.

"I bet they ran off to do something stupid." Levi mutters next to you.

"I know I haven’t known the two of them as long as you both have, but I get the feeling that they have an annoying habit of doing that." Furlan chuckles. He stretches his arms above his head with a yawn.

"It’s almost your bedtime, old timer." Levi jabs. Furlan punches him in the arm with a wide grin.

"You're one to talk, grandpa. Anyways, where to now?" His bright eyes glance over at you.

‘I need something to drink.’ You sign lazily, increasingly aware of your parched throat with every step. Levi nods to you in understanding and starts making a path towards the vendors closer to the heart of the festival without a word. You’ve noticed in the past month or so that Levi had surprised you with his quick ability to pick up signs, even specific ones. Hange had made a comment about it a week ago but the way he brushed it off made you too nervous to talk to him about it, so you didn’t. You only wished you could have told him how much it warmed your heart to see him learning, whether it was on purpose or not.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t realized you lost sight of Levi and Furlan. The sounds of the crowd suddenly become louder as you’re pulled back to reality. You bite your bottom lip anxiously as you scan around, people’s faces and bright lights becoming a blur. Suddenly you feel a hand pulling at you and you’re being tugged out of the crowd by a strong grip. You were about to sigh in relief, but the hand felt unfamiliar to you. You attempt to pull back, but their fingers are wrapped tightly around your forearm, and you don’t have enough leverage to break free.

“There you are.” You don’t recognize the voice. The face you see when you look up is not one you’ve seen before but one that will haunt you forever. Dark shadowed eyes and a gaunt face, yellowed teeth bared at you with a nasty smile. You pull your arm even harder, eyes wide in panic, but the grip gets tighter. Instantly, you’re small again cowering on the floor of an old foster home. You open your mouth, like you’re going to scream, but nothing comes out.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing out here alone?” He purrs at you as he pulls you closer. His breath smells of strong liquor and is hot against your face. You go to kick him in the shins but it’s like the impact doesn’t even phase him. You lacked the velocity to do any damage, and he just chuckles darkly at your bleak endeavor. “Got a fighter, I see.” He begins to pull you closer to him and you have to use every muscle in your body to push away from him, your free hand trying to pry his fingers off your skin at the same time.

“Get your grotesque hands off her.” An icy voice calls out from behind you. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes because it’s a voice that you do recognize. The man smirks and is about to say something back but when his gaze flicks to the side of you, you see his face go a sickly shade of gray. The grip on your arm lessens greatly so you take this opportunity to shake him off and step back, rubbing the sore spot where his fingers once were.

“I-I’m sorry sir, I didn’t realize she was yours.” He stumbles back. You glance behind to see the scariest expression you’ve ever seen grace Levi’s face. The snarl pulls at his lips with a sharpness in his eyes. What you don’t notice right away are the cups that were once filled with some sort of liquid were now crushed in his trembling hands, purely from anger. The drinks pool at his feet but he doesn’t blink an eye, his focus strictly on the assailant in front of you.

“Yeah, she’s mine. Leave now before I make you regret ever waking up today.” Levi spits venom into every syllable. His aura radiates so much danger that you could feel it from where you stood. At that, the man runs off. Levi steps over to you, throwing the cups into a nearby trash can as he does. His gaze is noticeably softer when he centers in on you and the shaken state you’re in.

“Are you okay?” Levi speaks in a low, gentle voice. Taking a shaky breath, you sign a no with a trembling hand. He tenderly takes your forearm and inspects your skin under the streetlight that lingered above you. His hands are sticky from whatever beverages he had managed to procure for you. In the yellow light, you see a red hand-shaped imprint. Your arm will definitely bruise tomorrow, much to your dismay.

“Sick bastard, putting his hands on you like that.” He grumbles, his gaze stuck on your arm as he speaks. You’re reminded of that incident at the gala that felt like a lifetime ago. Taking your free hand, you pull your phone out from your back pocket and start up a new memo.

‘Thank you. For saving the damsel in distress. I needed it.’ He glances up at you incredulously. It takes a moment to sink in, but when he realizes what you mean, his lips quirk up into a half smile. A huff escapes his lips in what you think might be a laugh.

“Thanks for the gratitude. Brat.” He drops your arm carefully.

‘Where’s Furlan?’ You stand on your toes to look over the crowd, but you don’t see your taller friend anywhere. The way Levi’s face falls at your question goes unnoticed.

“Why? I’m sure he’s off doing his own thing.” Levi scoffs. You frown at his sudden attitude, stealing a glance at his uninterested face.

‘He’s your friend, aren’t you worried?’ He rolls his eyes, which were currently lit up from your phone screen.

“He’s fine. I’ll send him a message to let him know where we are.” And like that, the topic of Furlan is closed. You sigh as you take a moment to text your sister where you two were located. You look around for a noticeable landmark to direct them, and you spot the live stage to your left. No one was playing at the moment, probably on their break or waiting for the fireworks, you think. Instead, there is contemporary music playing from the stage speakers and a couple of people dancing.

‘Aren’t those employees of your café?’ You slide him your phone and then point to the dance floor when he looks up. A girl with medium-length hair the same shade as Levi is in the arms of her boyfriend and they’re currently swaying to the beat. You haven’t had much of a chance to really speak to Eren and Mikasa because normally when you came to visit the café, it was close to closing and they were already off due to being in school. They look so happy.

“Looks like they’re having fun.” Levi responds in a blasé tone. You stand there imagining that it was you and Levi instead out on the floor, him holding you just as tightly. You blink hard to get that visual out of your head. What a silly sentiment. A cold breeze blows through your hair, and it makes you shiver. You wrap your arms around yourself to hold in some warmth.

“Cold?” You nod sheepishly. You remembered halfway into the day that you had left your coat on the armrest of the couch in your excitement. Levi hums and you watch as he pulls off his leather jacket and then his hoodie. Your eyes flick to his exposed abdomen as he pulls off each layer, polished and toned. You look away quickly as you chide yourself for even staring.

“Here.” he says after a few beats. When you look back over, he has his leather jacket back on but is handing you his dark hoodie. Your eyes widen at the gesture, and out of instinct you shake your head no with a ‘thank you’ at the end of it. He pushes it over to you anyways, an earnest look on his face.  

“You look miserable. Just take it.” You frown at him again.

‘You’re one to talk, grumpy.’ You sign at him but take the hoodie anyways.

When you have it pulled down all the way, you can’t help the heat from searing across your cheeks as you feel the thick cloth hugging at every inch of your torso and arms. It seems your noticeable height difference had a huge disadvantage when it came to sharing clothes, not like it was ever anything you had thought about before. You look over to Levi whose gaze is intently fixated on you. His eyes flick up to yours and he looks away quickly, clearing his throat. Sharp, gray eyes side-eye you as he speaks.

“I-um. Are you warm?” You slide your cold fingers into the front pocket and smile at him, though the embarrassment was still eating away at you. You tuck your chin in the collar to get more warmth - it smelled just like Levi. Clean laundry, musky body wash, and surprisingly, a hint of lavender. It was calming in more ways than one. And it was so soft.

“I’m sure they’ll find us soon. The fireworks are about to start. Let’s go find a spot.” He mutters as he turns around on his heel and walks down towards the river without another word. You inhale another whiff as you follow him, smiling to yourself under the collar.

.

Levi and you had found a spot under the trees, out of the crowd just like he wanted. People shuffle around as they find their own designated spot, all laughing and talking. The festival lights dance off the river’s reflection as it flows steadily and not a single cloud obstructs the sky. It was so peaceful, stunning even. But it was nowhere near as stunning as you were, leaning back to rest on your arms so you could stare up into the sky. It felt like every part of you overwhelmed his brain. The way his hoodie clung to your body, the way you looked at him, your stupidly sweet smile. The way his heart races any time he sees you let alone thinks about you. How could he not? Your eyes shift over to him, and he’s suddenly aware of his staring.

‘What?’ You sign to him. You’ve sat back up to stare at him, a perplexed expression across your face.

“Nothing. You just look relaxed.”

‘Yes. I am happy.’ Another soft smile that lit up your eyes. Levi didn’t miss how you made a conscious decision to simplify your signs just for him so he would understand. Through every interaction in the last couple months, you had left him with more knowledge on how to communicate better, but you assumed it was only the small stuff. Little did you know, he was currently taking late night lessons because he couldn’t stand not being able to look into your eyes when you messaged him.

‘You?’ A frown replaces your smile.

“Me what?”

‘Happy?’ You stare straight into his eyes as you ask, searching. This prompts a signature Levi eye roll.

“I don’t know.” He glances back over to your face and the noticeable drop in your demeanor has him scrambling to recant his statement. “I think I am. It’s nice here, I guess.” With you. He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as he watches your face turn back into a big smile. With that you nod, satisfied with his answer, and lay back down against your forearms like you were before. Levi sighs under his breath and goes to do the same. But then he feels his hand grazing against yours, fingers lightly resting on top of each other, and an electrified shock passes from his arm all the way through his body. You don’t pull your hand away though, and neither does he.

In fact, you’re still staring at him with a look he couldn’t discern. You cautiously wrap your pinky around his own and offer him a reassuring smile. He doesn’t think twice about tightening his grip. The sounds of laughter and idle chatter dimmed away to the sound of his reverberating heartbeat that threatened to blow out his ears. What would it be like to kiss you right now, he asks himself. Your eyes flick down to his half-parted lips as he says your name in an almost-like whisper. Your eyes are a brilliant shade under the moonlight. When did you get so close?

“There you two are!!” You both jump away as you hear Hange’s earth-shattering shriek from behind, any contact now left cold from whatever that moment was with you. Levi hisses out of frustration. You’re already getting up to stand to meet the newcomers, so he does the same. Shitty-glasses and their shitty timing.

“I didn’t realize y’all had already found a place to sit! We were waiting by the dance floor this whole time.” Hange tuts as they playfully punch your arm. Erwin stood a couple feet away, currently on the phone with someone. The expression on his face gave the implication that it was not a pleasant conversation.

‘Sorry, a lot happened, and I got distracted easily. You found us though!’ A fake smile pulls at your lips. There’s a glance in your direction but it’s gone as quick as it happened. He didn’t imagine that, did he? Were you ignoring what happened intentionally or pretending it never happened? Levi kicks himself mentally and disguises his face in indifference as he speaks.

“Yeah, where the hell did you both even go? And have you seen Furlan?”

“I haven’t seen him, no. And we were wandering! Erwin suggested it. Also,” Hange reaches into their pocket and pulls out their phone. They flip to their contacts and then shoves the phone in your face. Levi blinks at the sudden change in brightness. “I got someone’s number!”

“So, you ditched us to chase after someone?” Levi crosses his arms over his chest.

“Nooo, I ditched you guys to wander, I just said that! This was just a bonus.” Hange purses their lips. “I gotta tell you about them! They’re just so…” Levi zones their voice out and watches as a laugh escapes your lips as you reach for your sister, an adoring smile lighting up your features as you ask questions about who it was that they found. Levi’s phone vibrates and when he slides it out, Furlan’s name is bold on the screen. Sighing, he presses the green button and pulls it to his ear.

“What?”

“H-hey sorry! I didn’t mean to ditch, I got lost and then sidetracked.” Levi stares over to you as you sign animatedly, laughter at your sister shaking your body as you converse. “Anyways, I was calling to let you know I haven’t been murdered or anything.”

“Tch, wouldn’t be the worst thing if that happened.”

“You jest but where would you be without your best friend? Probably in prison.”

“Whatever you say. Where are you then, if not dead?”

“Oh, I grabbed another bag of kettle corn and went home. I have an early shift anyway so…” There’s a moment of pause before Furlan’s soft voice mutters through the speaker, “Do you like her?”

“Who?” Levi grumbles, pinching his lips together.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I saw the way you looked at her all day.” You’re glancing over to him now, your eyes shining in a way that makes his heart melt. Hange says something else, and you break eye contact as you double over in a fit of giggles.

“You don’t know what you’ve seen.”

“So, it’s okay that I ask her out on a date then?” Silence. “That’s what I thought. Levi, you’re allowed happiness you know. Stop thinking something bad is going to happen.”

“Sure, but I doubt she feels the same.”

“You never know unless you ask. Anyways, I’m calling it. Talk to you soon, old man.” The line clicks and then he’s gone.

A resounding boom explodes from behind Levi, the sign that the fireworks show had just begun. The look on your face when you twist around mid-conversation to stare at the remarkable display left Levi in awe. The colors that danced off your face as you smiled up to the sky, your body practically jumping up and down from your enthusiasm. You were breathtaking to him in every way, and he decided right then and there that he just wanted you. Just you, and no one else.

.

The night ended in quick goodbyes as everyone had work the next morning, besides you of course. After dropping the boys off, you made quick work of the drive back home. Your mind kept wandering back to the spot under the tree, where you’re certain you had almost kissed him. Wait, you almost kissed him. What is wrong with you, you chide yourself. You were just caught in the euphoria of the day, that’s all. You repeat that to yourself as you climb up the stairs to your shared apartment. Hange’s voice is dull against your raging thoughts, but you’re pretty sure they were still rambling about the person they met tonight. You go to unlock the door but are stopped mid-turn by Hange grabbing your hand to get your attention. Glancing over, you see a concerned look etched into their face.

“Are you okay?”

‘Fine.’ You unlock the door and push it open. ‘Tired.’ You yawn to emphasize, which really wasn’t a lie. Though your mind was far from tired, the events of today really wore you out.

“Me too. I could use a 30 hour nap. But I suppose 7 hours will do, for now.” They laugh as you both walk in the door, making sure to lock it behind you. You throw your bag onto the little side table before reaching down slowly to pull your shoes off. Something in your back pops. You were going to be so sore tomorrow, you groan to yourself.

“Hey, is that Levi’s jacket?” You glance down at the tight fabric around your torso. Shit.

‘Yeah, he let me borrow it. I completely forgot to hand it back to him.’

“I’m just surprised he forgot. He’s usually so meticulous about his things.” Hange says as she hangs her things up and pads to the kitchen to get something to drink. “It’s fine, we’ll probably see them again soon so you can give it back then.” Part of you didn’t want to, though.

You snap to get your sister’s attention before signing, ‘I’m going to shower then bed. Let me know if you need anything.’

“I should probably do the same. But hey,” They eye you carefully. “Are you sure you’re okay?? I notice Levi spends a lot of time around you.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at that, a habit you most definitely picked up from the guy in question.

‘It’s not like that. Everything is fine.’ You offer a reassuring smile. Everything was fine, just confusing.

“Okay, if you say so. But you do know you can talk to me about everything. Especially feelings for men. Certain raven-haired men that never smile.” They crack a big grin as you throw a couch pillow at their face on your way to your room. “Love you!!” You hear before you shut your door. How are you going to talk about your feelings about a certain terse man when you don’t even know how you’re feeling.

After your shower, you couldn’t help but pull Levi’s hoodie back over your head and snuggle into it. It might be smaller than what you’re used to, but it was very plush and warm. Not to mention the comforting smell that emanated from it any time you moved.

You curl up in your bed and yawn, recounting everything that happened today while fighting the urge to kick your feet like an overjoyed child. Suddenly the photo booth comes to mind. The photos! You fling yourself out of your bed and quietly tiptoe to the front hallway to grab your bag, making sure to be quiet so you don’t wake Hange - who could be heard snoring loudly from their room.

Back in your room, you empty the contents on your desk and grab what you were looking for; the film strip of the four of you. You focus on the last one as you lie back down on your bed, a blush creeping up your face while you stare. You press the photos to your chest again. There’s no mistaking it, there was something going on between you and Levi. Did he feel that too? How long were you both going to dance around the subject, you wonder. On the off chance you are completely wrong though, you decide it might be best to wait. Saying something now might ruin what you both have, and you were not willing to risk that friendship. With the smell of Levi pervading your senses, you’re lulled into a deep slumber. The thoughts of him swirl through your brain and turn into pleasant dreams.

bzzzzz

Levi: I hope my hoodie kept you warm, please take care of it. Sleep well.

☆AN ➼ Hey guys, thanks so much for sticking around!! I hope you enjoyed! Only two chapters left. whoo! ☆

☾ Previous Chapter: March

☾ Next Chapter: May

[itsclydebitches]

The RWBY Justice League trailer is out. AU crossover fanfiction with a budget.

I just watched it and honestly? The plot seems fine. Painfully generic, but given that I support painfully generic things whose primary draw is the niche characters/references of a particular fandom (or in this case two), it's whatever. I like AU crossover fic, so I fully understand why, for current RWBY fans, getting that on a movie budget is a dream come true. Plus a few of the scenes looks nice, like Wonder Woman going after that grimm.

On its own I'd be fully wiling to go, "Eh, it doesn't look like anything special, but I'm willing to watch it on some random, weekend night" and leave it at that, but as with all things RWBY, this film is caught up in the franchises' other problems. For example, prior to watching the trailer I assumed that this was an AU in the sense that the DC folks have always existed in the RWBY-verse. AKA, Batman grew up as a faunus. However, now I've learned that they've actually been transported here... and de-aged... and some have randomly become minorities? I don't know anything about Vixen as a character, but taking the guy whose entire fighting style is based around his insane amount of wealth--whose philosophy is embedded in enacting change that even his power as a wealthy white man can't touch--and giving him bat wings that, in this world, is a symbol of the oppressed species seems... messy.

This is just the cycle for RWBY nowadays. Fans are excited and I'm genuinely happy for them. What they're excited for seems pretty lackluster to me. Then I think about it for a hot second, specifically in the context of RWBY's history, and go, "Wait..." At this point, I actively hope that any new installments are just "fine" as opposed to "potentially offensive to a large number of viewers."

Also, this is SUCH a nitpick and a wholly own up to that, but Ruby's nonsense encouragements drive me nuts nowadays. Most RWDE folks have aired their grievances over "What's the plan, Ruby?" / "Don't let anyone else die" (or whatever the exact quotation is). Now we've got "What do we do??" / "We... fight." Like yes, right before this Ruby has another "I just might [have a plan]" line, so of course there's something resembling strategy here, but I haaaate that cheesy, 'inspiring' call to action when characters are LEGITIMATELY asking how they're going to defeat a powerful foe. As in, what's the plan, Ruby, not the hopeful outcome. It feeds into the very non-nitpick-y problem of the characters coasting by on the meta assurance that things will work out because they're Good Guys/Main Characters, and likewise flies in the face of the earlier Volumes where Ruby did come up with truly excellent plans. Remember the days of taking out the Nevermore? Team attacks against Roman's mech? Shooting Nora with a lightning bullet? The era when fans were (imo rightly) pointing out that Ruby was the team's core strategist, despite how often the dialogue insisted it was Jaune? Now we've got individual fights against the Ace Ops, blinking against the Hound + the Schnees dealing the final blow, attacking Cordovin without a thought to the consequences, risking a Kingdom's worth of lives because they'll defeat Salem ~somehow~ and it's a writing MESS, so whenever Ruby has a generic "What do we do? We fight ✊" line it hammers home that RT isn't developing combat strategies anymore. Which, you know, for a show built around its combat is a bit of a problem for me.

ANYWAY /rant over lol

[heiilari]

What subjects are you least interested in writing and why?

Ask the mun questions || Accepting

Damn this one's gonna be a little long

Cut for length

Threads that involve cheating in any way shape or form. To me it's gross . I don't vibe with that shit. It's why I slammed down so hard with my version of eve and Lilith saying they didn't cheat on Adam etc. I really hate it . I get people have their own head canons etc but I'm sorry do not try to push them onto me especially if I've expressed not only in my rules but head canons that my muses were separated from character xyz. I don't mind ultimatums but cheating is a big no no for me. Any and all ships // relationships etc happen in their own universe miss me with that cheating garbage

I understand everyone has their own head canons and personal thoughts but don't shove it down my throat please. I can't see Eve ever cheating on someone nor lilith.

I left their stuff ambiguous for reasons. So ite not force shipping onto whoever . Reasoning I'm saying these two specifically is because these two are the ones who always get the insinuation.

Also for lilith she LEFT Adam before getting into a relationship with lucifer. Personally I see her relationship with lucifer started in hell but to each their own

Eve: never cheated on Adam with lucifer or lilith. I don't mind writing a poly couple but she wasn't manipulated into sleeping with anyone or cheated on anyone

Just random death threads without prior plot because damn I dunno how to reply to that without plot because like just a random muse showing up dead (somehow ) is really confusing for me to write. That being said I'm not apposed to writing character deaths I've even written a thing about eve dying more than once but stuff like that needs plotting so we know what we're doing. Just a random anon of idk someone named Bob being dead in front of eve for example, she won't care at all because it's just random as hell

One sided arguments: I'm sorry if you just want your character to pop off at mine just send it in a ask. Like if they can correct misinformation then they will. Other then that just send it as a ask. It becomes really annoying and draining after a while. This will continue in the next part

just continuous angst// argumentative threads that literally have no plot behind them . The reason being is because it eventually just becomes annoying and draining mentally. There is no chance for character development if it's just the same song and dance. Like I love angst do not get me wrong I even roleplay in in private && here from time to time. But if it's just angst without any attempt of world building or relationship building or attempt to help characters come to a understanding it just gets really daunting and makes me personally not want to reply

I get that not every character will get along. I get muses can have various mental health issues , trauma and so on. But if it's just instant angst and they haven't interacted it kinda throws me in a "the fuck do I do??"

I attempt to stay neutral for the most part but

It does start to grate my nerves and agitate me. Yes muses aren't forced to forgive and forget but damn...I got other muses too. I can only stomach angst and argumentive shit for so long before it starts murdering my drive.

[anime-simp-0]

Hi there! I am so sooooo happy to see other people with a Bakugo obsession - his character development is one of the better ones in my opinion.

If you are open to sharing some headcanons (but of course no pressure! Writing should be enjoyable!) - how do you think Bakugo would be with an antihero s/o with a personality like Deadpool? I imagine them having a really smart mouth that drives Bakugo up the wall lol but also being kickass enough to stand toe to toe with him. What do you think?

I'm so sorry this took me so long my courses kicked my ass and i had to put literally everything else on the backburner. But! I got it done lol

i can totally see this. to me, bakugo definitely seems like the type of guy to go after someone who can not only hold their own against him in a fight, but also in a conversation. i think it's very important to him to have an s/o who can put up with his bullshit and call him out at the same time. i also think that he secretly finds it really sexy that you can put him in his place so easily with your smart mouth. well, as long as your not using it to make him lose his mind ( even if that is your favorite pastime). regardless of his stereotype of just being a stubborn hothead, he is actually quite levelheaded. He knows he overreacts sometimes. he knows that he doesn't always think things through. so, he needs someone who can call him out. and that's why you're so perfect for him. you're just as stubborn as him, which none of his friends could believe so it was quite a shock when he proved it, and it keeps him on his toes. it keeps your relationship interesting.

i think that bakugo himself fits the definition of a hero rather well, but that doesn't mean that all of his actions do. yes, he himself aligns with heroic standards, but that's more for the sake of keeping his license then morals. i think the more experience he gets as a pro really changes him and his perspective on good and evil. this also gives him the ability to recognize that heroic ways don't always solve the problem.

for the record, when i think antihero, i think of an oliver queen/green arrow situation here. don't judge me 😓

having said that, i think that bakugo doesn't necessarily like your antihero decisions either. he understands them, yes. and he can see the good you do and your good intentions. and he'd be damned if he ever told anyone who you were in the shadows. hell, he'd rather take a bullet to the brain then risk you getting arrested for being a vigilante. and that's the problem. you would be. your methods are unorthodox. you get the job done, but at what cost? how much blood has to spill before you are the one that doesn't get back up? at least as a hero he has protection. backup. you go in blind and pray for the best. and it kills him to see your busted lip and bruised knuckles. yet you hide it well. everyone he works with just sees you as his kickass, badass partner. the only one he listens to and smiles for.

but he knows the truth.

he knows why you do what you do.

because again and again heroes let you and the people you cared about down. you got sick of waiting around to be saved. so you saved yourself. you got your hands dirty. but the farther you went in, the harder the dirt was to wash off your hands and now you can't. you can't stop. you can't turn away. not from all of those suffering people that the heroes won't help.

so, for now, he'll be quite. he'll clean your cuts while you sit on the bathroom counter with him between your thighs. he'll get you ice for bruises and learn how to do stitches. he'll even help you come up with a cover story. because as much as it pains him to see you in pain, he knows your happy. that it's worth it to you. and as long as he gets to hold you when everything is said and done and hear you whisper you love him as you fall asleep, as long as he can feel the way your chest expands as you breath against him and hear the soft sighs against his neck, he'll learn to love these moments enough to forget about how you got in this state in the first place. he'll learn to see that you don't just do it for them, but for him too.

[nnightskiess]

You deserve my support and much more! Lacklustre updating schedule or not, everytime you leave is a very.. compelling and deeply emotional piece of art. I say deeply emotional because when I read it, I feel every emotion that’s written in a very raw and deep way, as if I was actually living it, and so, to be able to even read it and have access to more chapters, is a really big privilege for me.

I think by showing us the present first and then going back to how it all began and showing how y/n and Yen developed their deep bond is pretty amazing, it makes it hurt yes 😂 but also makes it feel real and more intimate bc now we know how truly intricate and deep their feelings are for each other and how much weight their past together has on the events that are occurring in the present and will happen in the future.

I can also tell you love writing for it, idk how to explain it really, but you can see it’s written with passion and love and that every little detail matters. So actually, thank you for creating such an amazing story and I will always look forward to any chapters you put out! 🖤💛 I’m glad my little ask made you feel happy also 😊

(I agree abt Henry… the Witcher is just not the same without him. I have considered replaying the games just so I can maybeeee forget that Henry is not in the show anymore and hopefully ease into Liam a bit better 😂)

oh wow, love, i'm incredibly touched that you feel that way about it!! and that you consider it a piece of art. it's hard to try and see it from your perspective sometimes when i'm so deeply involved with it from a writer's point of view and can't read the chapters with a fresh mind, so hearing you say that actually filled me with joy and motivation.

and thank you so much for saying that! it means i accomplished what i intended to do. i always prefer to write with a heavy layer of emotion clouding my characters. emotions drive us, fuel our fears and define our actions. whether they're morally grey or relatable, it will help reach a level of understanding and hopefully help connect with the story. having to watch the characters battle both inwardly and outwardly before getting whatever their heart desires is just so much more satisfying.

going back to the past felt like a bit of a gamble at first. i was afraid i would confuse or lose some readers who probably desperately wanted to read what would happen at sodden instead, but now that i'm in the middle of writing those early days with yennefer, i realise it was the best decision i could have made. it will explain why they held off on their feelings and so much more. there are many subtle ways i can show their bond slowly forming, or how and why certain beliefs and insecurities will keep resurfacing simply because they were so intricately woven within them. by writing their story from the beginning, i feel like i've started to understand it even better. i don't think i could've properly taken the story forward the same way if i hadn't made that decision.

oh, i absolutely adore writing it. it slithered into my mind years ago during christmas break and it hasn't left me since. i never write anything just for the clicks or interactions, but especially not this one. i just had to write it all down, whether i would later on post it or not. i have notes upon notes everywhere and whenever an idea pops up while i read the books or play the game, i scribble it down. i still don't know how i can find clarity in the chaos (no pun intended). you can always come and talk to me about the story in my dms or asks, please don't hold back. i'd love to hear your thoughts and see if you've caught certain easter eggs, double meanings, symbolisms or foreshadowings (the flower on tissaia's desk is a nod to the bond she'll have with yen and y/n, for example). and as a writer, it's always interesting to see how certain things have landed with readers!

i feel like to a lot of people, me included, henry felt like the essence of the series, the glue holding it together. i get why people are frustrated he's no longer in it, and that the adaption has been absolute shit as well, but i honestly love the world of the witcher too much to not cling to every new bit of media they give us (and i really want to support the other actors). my story is a mix of the series and the book and will at one point stop following canon, since yen doesn't have her arc with geralt or ciri in this. i write yennefer with all of the different versions we've seen of her in mind, so i hope she doesn't feel too ooc for people who've only watched the series, played the game or read the book. but since this story doesn't exist in canon, we also don't have anything to compare her possible actions and reactions to with the things that will happen in everytime you leave, so i think i'll be fine 😊

take care, love! your support means the world to me and i count myself very lucky that you're one of my few readers 🖤

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 14

this might be the first one of these posts i've made where i really just have no idea what to say. maybe once i get to writing that'll change, but i'm so neutral on this season that it's hard for me to really formulate anything concrete to write down here. hm.

actually this might be, perhaps, that i'm just getting really dreadfully bored of these last 5 seasons of the show. the novelty of the writers retconning things they find inconvenient, rewriting lore to suit their whims, forgetting plot points and character traits and lore, and generally warping the show beyond recognition has long since worn off at this point. i still had the energy to be annoyed in 11 and 12, i was just rolling my eyes about 13, but now i'm just kinda like. yeah this may as well happen. so maybe that's why i don't feel any particular way??? i'm not sure.

another thing i've come to realize, bitterly so, is that this show just isn't about sam and dean's relationship anymore. which is insane for The Sam And Dean Show. of course i understand why: after season 11, sam and dean are functionally married in their enmeshed psycho relationship, and there's nowhere else to go with this. they reached the pinnacle of their devotion and there's no more the writers can reasonably do with them. they're stable. and this is why season 12 and 13 both introduced new major recurring characters to help shape and develop sam and dean in relation to each other. 12 had mary to generate conflict between them, and 13 had jack. they both revealed new sides to sam and dean and explored forgotten or overlooked or underdeveloped parts of their identities, both as a unit and as individuals. season 14 continues that, because there's nothing else you can really do here.

that doesn't mean i don't find it boring, though, lol. i've had 11 seasons of sam and dean constantly rubbing against each other and finding themselves and choosing brother above all else, and this conflict has been the sole driving force of the series the whole time. everything else was just supporting backdrop to keep them moving, keep them stressed and on-edge so that they have to make those hard choices. but with the conclusion of season 11, they've stabilized. they know who they are and what they mean to each other, and what used to be backdrop is now all that's left. the show needed to introduce more characters to create conflict because sam and dean can't generate enough on their own. and that's great for them as people, but rough for a story. and i think now that i've recognized this and i've gotten through season 12 and season 13 and now season 14... the investment in me is lingering. fortunately i only have one season left, so i'm not too bothered by this all things considered.

as for season 14—i found the "jack is sick and dying" plot really hackneyed and boring and really poorly written. i kept likening him to that whole waifish victorian orphan boy who dies to teach the main characters a valuable life lesson because truly, that's how it played out. it was so boring i'm sorry jack. you didn't deserve that.

the soullessness was interesting, and i think the complete lack of healthy communication skills between all four of our main characters really did a good job of keeping that plot tense and constantly exacerbating in the worst ways. i'm honestly upset that mary died because i was so disappointed with how she was handled in season 13, and in season 14 she really just... didn't do much, so there wasn't much of an opportunity to fix what they broke before killing her off. i guess i'm used to that wasted potential though. just a bit disappointed is all 💔

most of the episodes were pretty good. 14.12 stands out as being one of my favorites because it returns to the core Sam And Dean Show themes, with them desperate to be on the same page and choose each other. that felt really really good, especially after so long without it. and 14.15 was pretty awesome too; i really loved how they handled both sam and jack's respective plots, and cas and dean were perfect supporting characters for them. it couldn't have worked any other way so it felt immensely satisfying. generally i didn't hate any of the episodes, so that's good.

i did REALLY like the final conflict with dean and the god gun and cas and jack and sam. i think the only thing that could have made it better would be to have sam fling himself in between dean and jack—to really make a statement about how he can't lose anyone else. like imagine: he doesn't even necessarily want to stop dean, but if dean's going to die then he's going with him. he can't lose dean, and he can't live with that grief. so he decides to go with them. it would have been soooo satisfying. play on season 13's "if we die, we do that together too" and their general obsession with each other. i wanted that so badly. i can't say i'm not disappointed </3 but otherwise? i really liked the four distinct perspectives on this conflict and how they clashed. cas really felt like a character in these last couple episodes, which is miraculous considering how boring i find him otherwise, and i appreciate that. this finale couldn't have happened without him, and that's awesome! and i like that sam was so conflicted—being so against dean's plans, but being so reluctant to contradict him and fight back. the level of reticence has been born from years of struggle and a true commitment to their enmeshment, and i could really feel it. it was played so well.

dean is obviously the "bad guy" here, taking the antagonistic stance to "do what he has to" and sacrificing himself yet again. it's so him, and i like that in his grief he jumps right back into self-mutilation and violence to an extreme, those horrible conditioned responses and behaviors that he's struggled with his whole life. it felt good to watch him fuck everything up. and it felt even better for jack to agree with him, to kneel down and allow it all to happen, even beg him to do it. to say dean was right, he's a monster. because like i said at the beginning of season 13, dean sees himself reflected in jack, and this is another layer of that. it's a very intimate moment between them, two monsters accepting their mutual destruction. i think the fact that dean can't do it reflects his hard-won desire for change and his compassion, and definitely his love for sam as well. he saves jack, he saves himself, he saves sam. there's a lot of layers and the fact that jack is the amalgamation of them makes this moment so intense and so meaningful.

also just in general dean perpetuating the cycle of violence through his son and yet at the same time being unwilling to kill him parallels with both 2.01 and with ummm 1.22? pretty sure that's the one where john is possessed. dean is unwilling to kill his family. john is unwilling to kill his family. he can kill himself but family is sacred. he loves them and that's evident even through the violence they both propagate. dean is a product of his raise, after all.

anyway all things considered i did actually think the season was pretty good, even though i'm rather bored of this show at this point lol. i just want to go back to kripke era already, which is exactly what i plan to do when i finish watching season 15 :) but for now i'm starting my detox because i have quite a few wincest fics lined up for me. amen and hallelujah 🙏

[relevant-url-incoming]

Since one of my favourite things in fanfic is writing tropes that force characters to look at their own character development and how things have changed (amnesia, time travel, de-aging...) and since I shouldn't/can't/probably won't write a different thing for all my ocs (don't think I haven't thought about it, rip). Here's a little list of what kinds of things each character would experience in a story like that and what would freak them out the most about who they become:

Kitiver is really easy, since he'd be deeply horrified by his own fall. The fact that he's still recognisably anxious and still friendly to the people he trusts makes it hurt worse, really, because in his mind it drives home just how close to a fall he is. He's also very, very confused by the fact that Alliance Era him is married to some spy, like. He never really thought romance would be a thing for him and now there's future!Kit getting all touchy and soft over a dude but apparently that had nothing to do with his fall, either? Lots of panic attacks and existential crises in this hypothetical story.

If this is a story where Kaoja meets her future self, she doesn't know why future!Kaoja smiles so much. If this is one of the other options, everyone else is very uncomfortable around her because young Kaoja is so grim and controlled. By the time of the Alliance Kaoja has a husband and a daughter, and her relationship with her kid is extremely fraught for Reasons I'll save for another post, meaning young!Kaoja is walking around like "why does this child hate me???" and nobody wants to tell her because trouble with loved ones has always been the button you don't want to push with her. (Her daughter would have a whole slew of fucked up feelings about the situation, too... oh god i want to write it.)

Exchei is much the same person she was, but her surroundings/circumstance are so vastly different she would feel like she just did a bodyswap. Being on the Dark Council? absolutely insane, no way that's her. All these people who claim to like and trust and obey her? She believes them, or she wants to so badly, but the sudden influx of them makes her feel like there's some ulterior motive to all this. She resorts to seducing anyone she halfway likes the looks of, because if people think she's sexy or are trying to get something out of her that means they like her for a reason. Andronikos takes this in stride, though he proceeds to scare the shit out of her by talking about feelings while the sexytimes are happening since for him that's just normal. Talos is, understandably, deeply appalled. This confuses Exchei even more because why does he like her then

The funniest thing about Rig (funny-sad but also funny-this-is-your-own-fault) is that at first he wouldn't notice a major difference. Still working as a bounty hunter. Still alone. Now he's got clout, apparently, and his childhood best friend is a Sith Lord so good for her, but he doesn't seem to have changed much. Then people keep dancing around certain subjects when they talk to him. Then he meets people who see him and switch directions, people Exchei tells him used to be on his crew. Then someone he's never met before gets mad at him for missing a memorial to Torian, who he also doesn't know he knew, but from the sound of it that's just how this person expected him to act. He starts to see holes, the shapes of people and things he gained and then lost, and maybe if we're very lucky he actually introspects about why that might be (not fucking likely. sigh.)

[oddlyhale]

Cannot Get Over Fifestone's Bigoted Writing

I wasn't expecting anything special from RWBY: Arrowfell. I kept assuming for months that Arrowfell would just be a polished version of Grimm Eclipse, with a nothing story and a nothing gameplay.

I heard the gameplay isn't anything special. Just mash X and you'll beat the enemies. But the STORY is quite the package that needs to be unpacked, and not in a good way. I was already convinced to not buy the game, but this context makes me disgusted.

I had to rewatch the Fifestone scenes to make sure I'm not being fooled. Did RT, an abusive company that treats its workers like absolute trash even though they've tried to make us believe they are inclusive and respecting of minority groups, really make a UNION LEADER a villain/boss?

Yes, yes they did.

Fifestone's writing has been compared to how Adam was handled. I can see what they're saying: a civil rights leader is written to be an abusive person that is only in it for themselves. But I'd argue that Fifestone's writing is grossly worse because, while Adam's writing has been argued nonstop on how it was handled, Fifestone's is blatantly obvious. As if RT doesn't care anymore, and essentially gave everybody the middle finger and said, "stick this where the sun doesn't shine because we hate workers and we hate you."

You can't walk back Fifestone's writing. It's as black and white as it looks. A dark-skinned union leader is being written as a big, mobbish threat to the small and weak workers who are fighting for their rights. "There was a time where I used my semblance for good," Fifestone explains. His dialogue is as straightforward as can be. He was once a good guy and is now written as a bad guy, for the sake of the plot. He said his semblance was used to ease tension before, but now we see that his semblance is painful and wretched when used. How is this possible? How can it be painful now when he used it for good before? It doesn't matter, because an evil union leader must go down.

It seems to be a running theme for RWBY. Any leader who is doing something different from RWBY has to be taken down a notch. Not just by the teams, but by the writing. The writers always have to load them up with abusive traits, narcissism, and obsessive behaviour. It's the only way they know how to make Team RWBY look correct, to make their actions of taking down these corrupt leaders look OK. But what it can't hide is evidence of RT's bigotry.

It is absolutely abhorrent that RT had the gull to make this villain and have their animators animate Fifestone. It's almost twisted. And make no mistake, this game took a while to create, meaning they knew exactly what they were doing way before the Kdin fiasco blew up on Twitter. We understand now that they're anti-union.

And what a super funny way of making minorities the enemies of Arrowfell, isn't it? Privileged characters like Team BRIR and Harper can get away with it, but characters like Bram and a union leader need to be put under the jail. Even a dumb villain like Glass. "A new threat to Arrowfell," is just a group of minorities that need to be put in their place by our privileged heroes.

And yes, I'm actually shocked that James Ironwood was left alone in this story. As a huge fan of the General, I was always betting that the writers would at least try to make him look bad to make V8 ""justified.""

Color me shocked when they decided to turn their bigoted direction to vilifying their minority group instead, and it's not the White Fang.

James has been relegated to being the quest-giver. He's written now to have an overall neutral good presence to everything and has no strong emotions towards new development. He stays calm and cool and acts swiftly for the team. Team RWBY has been given the wheel to drive this bus finally, though I can't say it was good... that's a whole other post, but I have my gripes with how the team was written.

I don't know what exactly the writers were trying to do with this story. Surely they're not that morally detached from what they're putting on paper? Well, after everything that happened on Twitter and with Kdin, it's not so far-fetched to call them morally corrupt AS MUCH as they try to convince us that they're totally not.

Fifestone has been on my mind ever since. Everything about Arrowfell may as well be thrown out the window because it doesn't matter. His story is obvious as obvious can get, and it is disgusting.

Nah, not even stans can walk this back.

[countlessrealities]

🗑️ ⚖️ 💚 right back at you!

Scrapped / on pause / WIP ideas meme || Selectively accepting !

🗑️ a scrapped element of the blog

This is something that I never actually applied to this blog because I scrapped the idea before I had the chance to try it out, but I think it should count since it's about one of my current muses.

When I firstly designed my HCs for Evil Rick, he was very different from the version I've chose to adopt for my portrayal. The initial idea I had for him had been to base his character mostly on the stereotype of what in the mind of the public is a "sociopath" (I know, I know, we aren't using that sort of terminology anymore, but it's for the sake of simplicity). So, brutal, unrefined, unable to understand basic social / human behaviours and uninterested in learning to. He was basically just an asshole who had no driving force in life if not satisfy his darker impulses. Also, he was supposed to behave more like he does in the show while under Evil Morty's control.

Whoever has even just glanced at how I write him now, you can see that he's nothing like that. Sure, he's merciless, can't feel empathy, he's extremely gory at times, but his whole personality is centre on quiet and emotionless detachment. There's a long list of reasons why I picked this version over the other, but I won't list them. I just wanna mention that I ended up making up almost the opposite (attitude wise) of how he acted while puppeteered by Evil Morty because, for how I write him, my Evil Morty would want to put as much distance between himself and his Rick, thus why he distorts his personality. And also because he knows that Evil Rick would find it insulting.

⚖️ something stuck in limbo

I've been pondering for a couple of weeks now to add a certain muse to my roaster. I've been writing him on Discord with @mcltiples (so I blame her for giving me the thought to add him on here too) and I think I'm doing pretty decently. Plus, he's fun to write and I need more psychos on my muses list.

I'm still pondering it because 1. I already have several muses and 2. a close mutual of mine writes the same character and that makes me a little hesitant because I don't want it to look like I'm trying to copy them / steal their spotlight.

I know, I know, point 2 is probably all just paranoia, but I can't help worrying about it. As for point one, I'm planning to remove a muse (Stan) from my roaster with the new year, so that could technically mean having an open spot.

💚 a coming idea that still needs development

This one is an element that I've often included in my portrayal, but without really defining it or diving in depth: Morty's anger issues and trauma-induced coping mechanisms.

There are a few specific HCs I tend to use and mention often (like how he spent a really long time unable to even just look at public bathroom, or how Rick has resorted to take him purging regularly), but the real extent of the damage Morty carries? That's pretty unknown to me too xD

I'd really like to develop these aspects more, decide what he has gotten over, what is still haunting him, and what had gotten lost in the cynic attitude and mindset he has been forced to adopt for the sake on not falling into an endless breakdown. Also, since most of the emotions linked to all this events manifest through anger (something that happened even before Rick) it's also very hard to tell how he truly feels about something. Whether he is truly angry or if rage is the manifestation of something else (guilt, fear, sadness, sorrow, remorse, etc).

[katie5000]

So this synopsis (or analysis?) of last week's Stampede episode came across my dash, and I may have gotten frustrated and written a point-by-point rebuttal. >_>

First of all, OP, this isn't the best synopsis - it reads more like first impressions, and it would seem like you missed a lot of stuff when you watched this. Let's go:

Wow, maximum badass. Why? Wolfwood needs to be a maximum badass, that’s why.

The series opens by illustrating Wolfwood's job duties, basically. I mean, he's literally called "The Punisher" for a reason. But the fact that they're opening with this suggests that whatever's going on here will be relevant or important later in the episode. That it incidentally looks "badass" is an added bonus.

Vash and Wolfwood are pouting over something and Meryl jokingly asks if they are having a spat over candy…I get she’s trying to defuse the situation but are we to think this is due to Wolfwood shooting Rollo - last night?…I’m going to take the easiest option and say that they are pouting about the fact that Wolfwood killed Rollo - last night.

Okay good, because I think it's supposed to be set the next day. They've been driving all night and well into the next day. As for Meryl's line: Remember that Meryl and Roberto don't actually have any idea what happened, because they weren't there to witness it. They screwed off earlier in the previous episode to go dig through the remains of Rollo's house and find the picture of Vash holding him as a baby. For all Meryl knows, they could be fighting over candy. They're just…mad at each other for some reason now. (And no, this is not an indicator of bad writing. She did not witness the "why," and Vash never told her. This is realistic.)

He’s clear that he wants Meryl to take the steamer but it was vague if he was going to go with her or if he wanted her to take it for safety. Uncle info dump isn’t info dumping this episode much.

Did you not see him turn his head around to face the back seat? He was telling Vash (and presumably Wolfwood) to take the Steamer, and Meryl assumes they're going to follow, so she starts to ask how they will get the car on board. Roberto says they're not going.

It has been even less time for Wolfwood to know Vash and he’s sticking to him like crazy glue, again being an ass.

Yes, because this is his job. He was sent by the Eye of Michael/Knives/Whoever to keep tabs on Vash and eventually lead him back to his brother. I'm pretty sure this is revealed in the manga at some point, though I can't remember where.

Meanwhile, Meryl is working hard to convince Roberto that they need to continue to track the Humanoid Typhoon. Interestingly, that she doesn’t call him Vash, but by his destructive nickname here...

Mhm, because that's how the public knows him. They work for a tabloid, and the "Humanoid Typhoon" would be a big break/hell of a story. In short, she's trying to entice Roberto to keep following him.

This episode will frequently use the word monster to describe Wolfwood a lot and Vash as well. This is the writers trying to get us to connect the two of them and make us feel that they should be friends and a dynamic duo - which they aren’t currently.

But they probably will be, before the series is over. Calm down.

As for the writers, they are attempting to draw a parallel between the two characters. Friends or not, there are similarities present.

On the steamer there is a route map telling use they are leaving the Terminal - which literally is just a single terminal in the desert? What? Ports develop around such locations but this is just a terminal.

I think you mean "cities develop around such locations." If the steamer's going there, there's probably already a port. (I'm glad to see they spelled "July" properly on the map, though.)

Vash finally gets around to directly asking Wolfwood what his job is and he replies that he’s babysitting him. From Wolfwood we can understand that it is his ‘job’ to make sure Vash gets somewhere. Or at least those are the orders that Wolfwood has.

Bingo! Now, don't forget this before next week's episode.

Their conversation doesn’t get very far since Livio appears on the scene almost immediately and shoots at both of them.

Vash's line of dialogue beforehand - something like, "Don't you have something you care about?" is an interesting bit of foreshadowing here.

We get it, there was a time when Wolfwood was cute and he was friends with Livio.

More importantly, it's meant to establish that there's a history between the two characters - and that, despite his aloof exterior, Wolfwood does have something he cares about. He is able to care about things.

Wolfwood’s flashback continues that he’s been selected as a ‘Child of Blessing’ just like Rollo by [the] mysterious church.

And everyone gathers on the porch to say goodbye. Wolfwood looks for Livio there, but doesn't see him. Disappointing, but also curious.

There is a weird psychedelic flashback were Wolfwood is a test subject…

Yes, because they are pumping him full of drugs. And holy shit, do they have some side effects…

…and shows S+ levels of possibilities. This is clearly a term added for the Japanese audience as the States does not have this type of ranking which is a trope specific to Japanese media.

…And? So what. They're not making this exclusively for an American audience. Just learn what it means and go on your way. So Wolfwood's really unusual and rare, from a physiological standpoint.

Just like the breakneck pace of the anime, his own physical development is rapidly accelerated - much more so than with the manga.

But it did happen in the manga. So they're keeping that plot point.

As the original anime put it, he was taken in as a child and trained by Chapel the Evergreen for ten years before striking out on his own for an unclear amount of time making his age over twenty. The manga has the unclear timeline where you’d think he was around twenty at the end, but maybe seventeen. Either way, manga and ‘98 anime Wolfwoods were more emotionally mature and had seen things.

At this point, I don't think I'd be using the 90s anime as a yardstick for anything in this series because of the fact that it was not based on all (or even most) of the source material. A lot was embellished, because a lot didn't exist yet. In the manga, the basic setup seems to be that Wolfwood was trained first before being given drugs, but even so, he probably wasn't older than high-school age (14-17). Stampede seems to have flipped this for the narrative - he's given drugs first, then his training.

Of course, being likely only twelve, he tries to escape his now adult form declaring he’s returning to the orphanage before getting caught.

So this is the setup here for that plot point - Wolfwood eventually returning to the place he called "home". He feels like a monster, he feels like he shouldn't go back, he eventually does anyway, and…well, read the manga. There's a couch and some confetti. ;~;

Now, he’s a man with a child’s mind. Yeah.

He was always a man with a child's mind. A teenager's mind, anyway.

Continue with Part 2 here.

[zoophagist]

Oh! I am desperately waiting your review!

ooc;; alright, i held off since i saw it a day before it was wildly opened and didn't want to detail thoughts about the thing no one had really experienced yet. i'm hoping the renfield girlies are all unhinged enough to have gone opening night and now we'll be on the same page.

overall take - it was fine. just pretty middling. i had some laughs, and there were a few scenes i thought were really solid. it didn't do anything deep and it really didn't want to, and that's the vibe, fair enough. mostly i had a feeling of like... that's objectively renfield but is not recognizably renfield to me. i said this to a friend and i'm upset that the tumblr nonsense words are the best way to articulate it, but basically they made him a wet cat when they should have made him skrunkly. i'd say 6/10, didn't change my life, not my renfield, but a some silly fun!

more thoughts below cut, but i'm not doing a blow-by-blow, lads, simply too tired from real life. but if you or others have specific questions i'm happy to answer :) spoilers below!

went into the theater worried the pop psych angle all about 'narcissism' and everything would be overbearing (i'm begging people to relearn how to use any other, non-therapizing language to talk about mean or unpleasant people. like did we need the psych angle? did it enhance the story in a way saying 'dracula is just an asshole' wouldn't have done? mini rant over) but when i watched it i will say the second half of the movie (underrepresented in trailers) moved away from that and was more fun for it.

i saw a themed costume screening so the audience was obviously at a higher level of investment and more willing to have a good time. the movie seemed to go over really well with the group there

the love story wasn't as big a focus as i feared it would be, and that was very nice. rebecca as a character also did meaningfully play into renfield's character drive of wanting to stand up for himself. she just. well. i just didn't like her that much. the cop thing didn't help because it made moments i imagine were intended to be quirky fun for her read to me as "cop points gun at person in rage to cow them / cop has anger issues / cop disrespects or demeans others on the job." especially with her particular backstory and her tension with her fed sister, i think she'd have been a more fun character if she was just some lady, outside the system, trying to solve her problems. but anyway. yeah, not as huge a problem as it could be, but wasn't rooting for it

they needed to let nicholas hoult of the leash they kept him on this whole movie. he is capable of so much more unhinged energy and they really had him "i'm just a little guy"-ing his way through the whole thing. the 5 minutes where he got to beat dracula's face in and got a little too excited about it were the best for his character in the whole movie

what was the LORE? i love lore, and this movie was lore-light, playing vast and loose with vampires. vampire blood is a heal-all, so drinking it can't turn you into a vampire i guess? nor a familiar? in the course of the movie several people become familiars but we never see how it's done and i wish they let us play with and understand the magic there a little more! especially if you're just going to hand-wave away the bugs = power thing. i craved more lore. in general the writing was always like... there were just enough bits of development to get a job done but i kept wanting something deeper? maybe it's just the genre priorities since i'm not an action/horror fan.

i said it before and i'll say it again - teddy lobo was more renfield-ish than renfield was. i think his desperation to please, his manic energy, and his "i need you to know i'm dracula's favorite or i'll DIE" swag were very fun! everyone said nicolas cage would steal the show, but i honestly think ben schwartz as teddy was the show-stealer to me. if you like any other iteration of renfield's character, i really think teddy will be more interesting to you than the I Just Want To Be Normal edition of renfield this film is serving.

action and gore was fun sometimes. i'm not squeamish and none of it bothered me, but not being an action fan the fights weren't that much of a draw for me. just not my taste, but they looked pretty good!

there's one scene where dracula confronts renfield about betrayal, and honestly i thought that was the best performance both nicks gave in the whole movie. i thought it did a great job really driving home what this take on the drac/renfield relationship is like and how good dracula is at twisting renfield's will until it snaps. the one sour note about it was how it of course hinged on the whole 'narcissist' thing and like.... so, here's my hot take. the film and this scene spceifically would have been better if they didn't lead so heavy on all the group therapy jokes about narcissism. if you had just framed it as dracula's a selfish jerk who knows how to make things about him and let the writing/interaction tell the story (good ol' show, don't tell) this scene would have said EVERYTHING we need to know about this drac by being descriptive instead of prescriptive. (i hope that point makes sense. like i said, we're tired out here fellas, trying to make the brain do words right.) but as it stands, the scene is really good, sheds new light on their relationship, and makes renfield doubt his victimhood which is good for the plot.

renfield bought those clothes from a macy's and babyboy should not be allowed to shopping by himself is all i'm saying

renfield had a wife and daughter pre-31!dracula?? canon?? barbara hambly is somewhere out there feeling so valid for her book rn. for me it was just like... you really want us to think this man is straight, huh? but all you've done is make him a man who left his wife to be with a sexy male vampire so. the gays stay winning with renfield.

generally i was surprised by how mild and complex by reaction was to this. like with all the build up i really thought it was either going to suck or catch me off guard by being really good. but it really, truly, is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay! i think i was harder on it than most general audiences would be though, and again i'll reiterate the audience at my showing was really having a good time with it! on the whole, i'd call it a fun, silly little vampire romp, and say it's for popcorn viewing but not for deep thinking.

that "last voyage of the demeter" trailer tho 👀👀👀 that looks sick as fuck.

[sapphire-weapon]

Your Leon backstory posts are blowing my whole mind right now. I'm working on a eagleone fic and was thinking through how to make Leon's NY / Italian upbringing work, but what you're saying makes so much more sense I might need to retcon some things! 😅 Thanks for posting this stuff it's really helpful to think about!

Oh dear lord, is the NY thing getting passed around as canon now too???? That's not even related to the Italian thing OR the mafia thing. That's from the Resident Evil novelizations that are so non-canon that Capcom gave up on funding them after Code Veronica. So, fandom is just taking all of Leon's "official" backstories and mashing them together to create an unholy amalgamation of bullshit, huh?

How long til they add "Leon's dad got him the job at the RPD (despite having been murdered in a gang war years ago)"? Like. Lmfao.

Here. I was thinking about this on the drive home from work just now, and I realized that a very simple rebuttal exists to the bs narrative behind Leon's character that's being pushed in fandom.

Resident Evil's target audience is the West -- so much so that the character dialogue in the games is written in English first, despite RE being developed by a Japanese team. If something was sincerely meant to be seen and taken as canon to the characters or storyline, it would have been released in an official capacity in English.

If someone tries to tell you that something is canon, and the only source for it is some obscure thing that was never released outside of Japan? They're bullshitting you. It isn't intended canon, because it actively goes against Capcom's intentions for the series to be carried by US/EU audiences.

Why would they withhold part of the story from us, knowing that to be the case? It doesn't make any sense. It directly contradicts their profit incentive, and that's all RE is meant to do, at the end of the day: make money.

And even then, you can't take the English releases of supplementary material as canon, because that's how we end up with shit like the Resident Evil Archives saying that Leon willingly handed Sherry over to the US Army after escaping Raccoon City, and then he set off to hunt Umbrella on his own.

The only thing that makes sense is to look at the games and the CGI movies as intended canon and nothing else. Because the vast majority of multiple millions of people who play RE are never going to hunt down that obscure niche shit and learn those facts to begin with. RE isn't a tiny little community of dedicated fans who are passionate about the lore like, say, Alan Wake fandom. Resident Evil is a multi-billion dollar juggernaut that's primarily played by Joe Average American dudes who more likely than not don't give a shit about getting all of the files in the actual games -- much less hunting down shit like that outside of the games.

Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise does not understand how game development, marketing, or storytelling actually work, and should not be listened to ever, for any reason.

And, to be clear -- and I've said this before -- I do not think that we should be hiding this auxiliary/supplemental information from new fans. If anyone wants to take any of it as their personal headcanon, that's fine. But it is not intended canon, and it's just wrong that it's being sold that way.

Anyway. Happy fic writing, anon. Make sure you share when it's finished!!!