#Like in George

[missmagooglie]

Of all the Dimension 20 bits, the one that will consistently catch me out of fucking nowhere and crack me the fuck up is how Siobhan Thompson decided to spell the name of her karate boy character Jaysohn. Fucking. JAYSOHN.

(I was finally able to reconcile Jaysohn's name spelling with the fact that Tula does not seem like the type to "creatively" alter the spelling of her child's name by remembering that none of the stoats can read until mid-series, so Jaysohn probably sounded his name out himself and everyone was just like "however you want to spell it is fine")

(Except Lila, who probably intentionally taught Jaysohn a bunch of words with unusual spellings just to confuse him)

I have in fact googled the name, and given that all the results were either D20/Burrow's End content or about some athlete who spells his name with a Y but not a godforsaken H and got caught up in Google's "I'm gonna assume that was a spelling error" portion of the algorithm, it does in fact seem that Siobhan Thompson is the only person sick and twisted enough to mangle the perfectly fine name "Jason" in this particular way....

That said, it is canon that following the events of Burrow's End our dear family of stoats made their way into the Human World, and while it is clear I'm sure to most viewers that Jaysohn Stoat is exactly the kind of <strike>person</strike> individual who SHOULD NOT be consuming excessive amounts of either sugar or caffeine it should be equally obvious that the moment he discovered Starbucks he became instantly addicted to the most insane, decadent, $12 a cup nonsense order he could find on (or off) the menu.

I contend that Jaysohn Stoat, even without the buckwild insanity of a radioactive talking forest rodent attempting to integrate themself into human society, gives off enormous "My common name isn't spelled normally" energy and consequently, despite never offering spelling to the barista, has never once received a Starbucks cup reading "Jason".

What he HAS received is a never-ending parade of the most cursed spellings of those two syllables it is possible to wrangle out of English phonetics.

[jasontoddsguns]

“He would not fucking say that” is a Schrodinger’s phrase when it comes to Batman. There is probably Batman run where he would say that. There is also probably a run where Batman would kill the other Batman for saying that.

[tarragonthedragon]

ghost stories are alarmingly easy to spread tbh

when I was like ten I was walking back from the chip shop near my gran's house with a neighbour and we took a short cut down an alley which was enclosed by garages except for one part which was wire fenced and led to the electricity shack

and while I was walking I chucked a chip over the fence. the girl walking with me, C, reasonably asks why I did that

"oh, don't you know?" I say, as if I'm not equally out of my own loop

she shakes her head. the enclosed alleyway has no streetlights. it's after dark. the shack is isolated in the distance.

"a little girl who lived up on the court climbed the fence once on a dare. she went up to the shack and touched it, but there was a wire sticking out, and when she touched it, she got electrocuted and died, right there. if you come back in the daylight, you can still see the black mark."

[editor's note: the court was the smaller road off the side of the crescent, which was the one C's family and my gran lived on. the houses there were slightly more expensive and newer, almost all occupied by wealthy commuters to the city, where most of the crescent houses were occupied by retirees and locals who worked on the trading estate. naturally, crescent kids hated the court. houses there got bricked about once a month.]

"no she didn't," C says

I made up this story for absolutely no reason and with no plan, but I'm not gonna back down now. "sure she did. and if you go past on your way back from the shops and you don't leave her an offering, she'll follow you home through the streetlights. one flickers behind you, then the next, then the next, until you get home. and then the lights start to flicker inside the house. even if you turn out all the electrics before bed, it'll be too late. she's inside. and you'll wake up on the night and see her, and she'll be so awful to see it'll stop your heart."

[editor's note: the streetlights always flickered. this was because our neighbour monkey george kept setting the junction boxes on fire]

"I never did before and she never followed me home!"

"do you come down the alley after dark? or do you take the main road with the streetlights?" I knew she didn't use the shortcut, because I'd been the one to talk her into it that night. she was three years younger than me and scared of the dark.

C claims not to believe me, but she throws a chip over the fence too, and walks the rest of the way looking over her shoulder. I get to pride myself for the night on being good at scary stories, and don't think much more about it.

fast forward six or seven years. I'm back in town. I'm on my way back from the chip shop, taking the same shortcut home. ahead of me on the road are a couple of kids I vaguely recognise as old playmates' younger siblings.

they stop, and I watch one fish out three sweeties from the pack they're sharing. they take one each and throw them over the fence. they carry on walking.

I realise that this is probably my fault, as are any resulting pest control issues around the old electricity shack.

when I get to the fence, I throw a chip over.

[iibislintu]

i quoted the spiders georg post in statistics class without saying spiders georg and it was fun to see most people in the room look bewildered at the thought of eating spiders, and two people looking like

[lylahammar]

the one perk he can't earn

[bethsvrse]

me staring at my ceiling after y/n does the most FLABBERGASTING thing ever

[that1nerd-20]

When a fanfic writer puts a nickname you think Is icky in their smut fic

[toorumlk]

the weasleys, circa 1995

[carrotchipper]

get in loser we're taming our tempers

[yilune]

officially been severancepilled

[georgiasbrainstuff]

The demons in my brain trying to convince me to do/make something stupid

[cicimellie]

severance continues to get wilder. gretchen cheats on her husband with her husband; don't let her husband find out! ham-based throuple gets significantly more ominous. helena convinced mentioning local depressed alcoholic widower's dead wife by the wrong name is a surefire way to get him to need her carnally. somewhere markhelly is wasting company time getting freaky under a table. milchick beefs with child and paperclips.

[awriterinthenight]

a moment of silence for all the fics that were masterpieces but you'll never find them again

[pomporri]

bugs when you lift up a rock 🐛 🐞

[nonbinarylesbianherb]