#Limited Oral Surgery

[indianapolisendodonticspc]

Limited Oral Surgery at Indianapolis Endodontics PC

Indianapolis Endodontics PC is a team of highly skilled and experienced professionals who are dedicated to providing their patients with the best possible care. In addition to their expertise in endodontics, they also offer a variety of limited oral surgery procedures.

Limited oral surgery refers to a range of procedures that can be performed by dentists and endodontists who have received additional training. These procedures are less complex than those performed by oral and maxillofacial surgeons, but they can still be very effective in treating a variety of dental conditions.

Some of the limited oral surgery procedures that are offered at Indianapolis Endodontics PC include:

Apicoectomy: This procedure is used to remove the tip of the root of a tooth, along with any infected tissue. It is often performed when a root canal therapy has not been successful in relieving pain or infection.

Bone grafting: This procedure is used to add bone to the jaw in areas where it has been lost due to injury, disease, or tooth extraction. Bone grafting can be used to prepare the jaw for dental implants or other restorative procedures.

Oral pathology: This is the diagnosis and treatment of diseases and conditions that affect the mouth and jaw. Indianapolis Endodontics PC is equipped to perform a variety of oral pathology procedures, including biopsies and lesion removal.

Platelet-rich plasma (PRP) therapy: This is a relatively new treatment that uses the patient's own blood platelets to promote healing. PRP therapy can be used to treat a variety of dental conditions, including gum disease, tooth extractions, and jawbone defects.

If you are in need of limited oral surgery, Indianapolis Endodontics PC is a great option. Their team of experienced professionals is committed to providing their patients with the highest quality care and the best possible outcomes.

To learn more about limited oral surgery or to schedule a consultation, please contact Indianapolis Endodontics PC today.

[housedyke]

Having my usual summer breakdown where I've been cooped up inside in an 85 degree house for too long and am getting really frustrated that I don't have a local job that gets me out of the house or enough money to casually go out sometimes

[mindblowingscience]

It's been announced that clinical trials for a potential tooth regrowth treatment are set to begin in July 2024, building on decades of research in the field. If those trials are successful, therapeutic drugs could be available by 2030. A team from the Medical Research Institute at Kitano Hospital in Japan is in charge of the trial, which is targeting people with anodontia, a rare genetic condition that prevents baby teeth and adult teeth from growing in the normal way. The treatment would initially target young children with the condition, but further down the line, the researchers think it could also be used more broadly – with people who have more common dental problems, such as gum disease, for example. "The idea of growing new teeth is every dentist's dream," Katsu Takahashi, head of the dentistry and oral surgery department at Kitano Hospital, told The Mainichi. "I've been working on this since I was a graduate student. I was confident I'd be able to make it happen." Here's how it works: having found a link between a specific gene called USAG-1 and limits on tooth growth in mice, the researchers then moved on to tests that tried to block the expression of USAG-1.

Continue Reading

[t4tstarrailing]

honkai star rail stone top headcanons

dividers by @/cafekitsune

what is a stone top? a stone top is someone who only strictly gives in sex. they will never bottom for someone and, depending on the person, will never receive oral or handjobs. each stone top will have different limitations and boundaries for their bodies, which i'll be aiming to highlight in this post. you can be a stone top for any reason, be it a result from past sexual trauma or gender dysphoria or literally anything. you can also be a sub stone top if you want to introduce power dynamics into your relationship. remember, top =/= dom and bottom =/= sub.

stone top does not apply to cishet dynamics. as such, even if gender isn't explicitly mentioned in the post, please recognize that does not automatically make it a cishet dynamic. i write mostly t4t content, and everything i write tends to have an undertone of queerness, even if it's a gender neutral reader.

post contains: blade (t4t mlm), luka (trans masc), pre-bottom surgery jing yuan (trans man), gallagher (trans masc bear butch), sugilite (still figuring out gender), sunday (trans fem soft butch), robin (trans fem high femme), ruan mei

as this is nsfw content, minors dni. if you think stone tops are weird or hate the headcanons i have for characters, go argue with a wall, i really do not care.

blade

blade... bladie, bladie, bladie. honestly my favorite character in hsr, but i just don't write him frequently due to reasons.

blade is a non-op trans masc, meaning he hasn't had top or bottom surgery, and has no plans to get either. high testosterone dosage and hairy as fuck. he is also t4t mlm, so all content i write for him is t4t mlm.

he's a fairly strict stone top. he refers to his strap as his strap and, if it's ever referenced, refers to his bottom growth as a tdick. he distinguishes between them and doesn't see his strap as his dick.

in terms of giving, he is happy to give his partner head (favorite), fingering, hand jobs, and penetrative sex. due to his chronic pain and shaky hands, he frequently uses a finger vibrator to avoid cramping and help with his tremors.

in terms of receiving, he typically doesn't receive anything from his partner. if he wants to get off, he'll do it with his own vibrator when he's alone. he really doesn't want to be touched in any way, and isn't comfortable with his strap being serviced orally or with a handjob. kissing him is fine (he loves hard and heavy makeout sessions), and the only touch he's comfortable with is slight hair pulling.

in terms of clothing, i think he wears a light compression top and wears his boxer briefs under his harness.

luka

luka is trans masc non-op, but frequently binds his chest with athletic tape. low dose testosterone, has a fear of needles and uses gel.

i can't really see him leaning one way or another in terms of gender preference, so i usually write him with a gender neutral reader. i do, however, think he would make a nice butch lesbian.

i can see him wanting to get bottom surgery in the future, but not a full phalloplasty. i'm thinking moreso a metoidioplasty, or a "meta" dick.

he's also a fairly strict stone top, similar to blade. he refers to his strap as his dick/cock, and sees it as an extension of his bottom growth. to make it feel like he's getting the stimulation his cock is getting, he frequently uses grinders (x, x, x [leads to literal sex toys, not sponsored or affiliated]) to get himself off while pleasing his partner.

in terms of giving, he isn't really a big fan of giving head and prefers to using his fingers and hands to please his partners. he tends to "babble", he explains to his partner, and likes to walk them through their highs, making sure he can get feedback as needed. of course, he is always down for topping if his partner wants it.

in terms of receiving, he kinda loves it when his partner sucks his strap or giving him a hand job. the visual for it absolutely drives him wild. but, until he has bottom surgery, he's only having his strap touched.

during sex, he typically wears either a sports bra or binding tape, as well as wearing boxers under his strap to keep his grinder in place.

pre-bottom surgery jing yuan

... this is such a weirdly specific headcanon i have for jing yuan. he is only a stone top before his bottom surgery (full phalloplasty), but not after his bottom surgery. after his bottom surgery, i think he tends to lean towards being a pillow prince and wanting to bottom without doing the work.

he doesn't have a real gender preference, and he also doesn't lean towards being t4t. he just dates/fucks whoever he dates/fucks.

he refers to his strap as his dick/cock and absolutely nothing else. he wears a packer most days to lessen his bottom dysphoria.

in terms of giving, he's happy to give anything. oral, fingering, hand jobs, penetrative sex. he's happy to have a power bottom partner, a pillowy bottom, whatever they want to be for him. for this reason, he does border on being a service top.

receiving anything is an absolute no-go for him pre-bottom surgery. he does not want anything to be touched. the only touch that he's happy to receive is his partners gripping his waist to hold onto him.

during sex, he always wears boxers and a top of some sort, no questions asked. it isn't until he is post top and bottom surgery that he has sex fully unclothed.

... post retirement jing yuan becomes a shameless bear and an even more shameless flirt.

gallagher

gallagher is a trans masc butch? bear? butch-bear? idk, i just know he's hairy and fat. he's another t4t guy, dating and fucking only other trans people.

top surgery only and hairy as fuck from high testosterone dosages. he's also bearish, so he's fat and loves when his partners grab onto his love handles.

he refers to his strap as his dick/cock/strap, really whatever he feels like referring to it as at that moment. he does get bottom surgery but not a full phalloplasty like jing yuan, more than likely a metoidioplasty. despite his bottom surgery, he still uses his strap to please his partner.

in terms of giving, i can't really see him being into head. he's got thick fingers that he'd prefer to use on his partner while cooing out praises to them. he verges on a service top as well, but more of like a "playful, teasing" service top that likes to give his bottom a bit of lip service about how needy they are.

in terms of receiving, he doesn't really want his hole or dick touched. i'd imagine he'd let his partner give him head or a handjob or a rimjob, but he wouldn't really be a fan of it. it's moreso to let his partner explore their own preferences, what they like, etc. and it's only with partners he's especially close with and after his bottom surgery.

in terms of clothes, i don't think he's really picky. with newer partners, he'd prefer to keep his boxers on. but after a few fucks, he'd be happy to take his boxers off.

sugilite

.... he has a funky gender but idk what it is. i think he'd make a pretty and/or handsome stud.

we don't know much about him ofc, so i'm keeping it vague. but i'm thinking about making him one of the strictest stone tops that i write.

that being said, he is completely clothed during sex (pants, shirts, everything), does not let his partner touch him anywhere, and does not let his partner kiss him anywhere. any physical touch is initiated by him, even outside the bedroom.

i'd imagine that he'd like to see his partner thigh rid him with a thigh harness, just so he can have easy access to his partner's collar bones and/or chest if they allow him.

with long term partners, i'd imagine that he's more comfortable wearing only like a tank top or boxers/shorts around them. he's a bit more lenient with touch, but he's still strict about being the only one initiating kisses.

once again, reminder that being a stone top does not automatically make them a daddy dom or aggressive/assertive. i recognize that sugilite is one of our first non-white characters in the series, and i want to establish that fact. i already know some folks are gonna be real weird about him when we get to know more about him.

sunday

sunday... sunday is a trans fem soft butch, butch4butch to me. and i love her for that. i also write her as intersex with klinefelter syndrome. she hasn't had top or bottom surgery, but has been on estrogen for a while. so she's grown to be about c-cup in terms of breast growth.

her strap is her strap. nothing else. she doesn't use the term dick/cock or anything similar to refer to her anatomy or her strap. in fact, that is a quick way for her to never speak to you again.

in terms of giving, i think she enjoys giving head, fingering, handjobs, and penetrative sex ofc. verges on service top, but not always.

in terms of receiving, she enjoys being eaten out by her partner. however, she never wants to be penetrated with fingers or tongue, just rimming. she will also never use her birth anatomy to fuck her partner, only her strap.

i'd imagine when fucking her partner, she'd enjoy possible some toy usage. maybe a vibrator against her hole but not inside, or pressed against her perineum. because of this, she usually wears panties when fucking her partner to keep them in place.

if she trusts her partner enough, she'll give them the remote for the vibrator. but she's usually the one in control of it.

robin

... you know the chappell roan song "red wine supernova" and the whole "i heard you like magic, i've got a wand and a rabbit" line? yeah, that's robin to me.

stone high femme, post top and bottom surgery. no dating preferences, but she does tend to lean more towards femme and likes to flirt with soft butches (aka sunday's friend group) to make them nervous and sweat a bit.

robin is one of my strictest stone tops. in that, she doesn't use a strap or a harness at all. in fact, she only strictly uses toys and her fingers on her partner. her favorite toys to use are a wand, a rabbit extension, dildos, suction toys, and sleeves. really, anything her partner wants, she's happy to give. but the only part of her body she will ever use are her fingers, usually gloved as well since she has a bit of a glove kink.

she receives absolutely nothing from her partners and, honestly, she doesn't really feel the need to get herself off. she gets all of pleasure from watching her partner fall apart on her fingers and/or toys.

she also stays fully clothed during sex, frequently wearing whatever outfit she was performing in that day. she loves a quick fuck session after her performance to get the rest of her energy out, channeling it into her partner until they're a bumbling, overstimulated and exhausted mess.

ruan mei

this is honestly a bit of a new headcanon for me, so it definitely isn't as well developed as other headcanons. this is mostly just the bare bones of what i've got atm.

she feels more comfortable being a stone top because, in her mind, it helps her feel more detached from her partner. she feels if she bottoms, she will develop feelings for her partner too easily and wants to avoid doing that.

while she's willing to use a strap to please her partner, she'd much rather use her fingers or a vibrator on her partner. she doesn't do oral.

she does not cum when her partner is around. if she needs to cum, she does it when she's alone and her partner is nowhere around.

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

Edminister Engler is a recent widower who has now been diagnosed with cancer; he doesn't have health coverage and is too sick to work, so is raising funds to help find an oncologist and seek treatment. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

secondalto was in a car accident in February that totaled her car, and she missed work through the end of the school year; insurance was slow to pay out and she didn't get another car (necessary for her job) until last month. Due to the staggered nature of her work, she is facing car and insurance payments, plus gas and other bills, that she won't be able to pay before they are due. She is raising funds for bills and is also offering fic beta services and handicrafts in return for donations; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

songspinner9 linked to a fundraiser for Wren, a young, chronically ill person trying to stay active in their community and studying for a Library Science degree. Insurance will not cover the new wheelchair they need to achieve their goals, so they are fundraising for the wheelchair and power assist; you can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for meowdistract/hauntedrph, a friend with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, which leaves her with limited mobility and weakness. She's offering commissions and raising funds via donation to help pay off debt and treat herself a little for her 30th birthday tomorrow. You can read more, reblog, and find giving/commission information here and there are also links to wishlists and donation options here.

maryellencarter is homeless and has recently moved cross-country to be closer to friends, and has finally been placed in a shelter; they are fundraising to keep their car insurance so they can travel to aid appointments and try to find a more permanent housing solution. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Beth linked to First Draft Detroit, a Detroit metro region nonprofit intended to replace NaNoWriMo; they're holding their first fundraiser on October 5th. If you are local to Detroit you can buy a ticket to play one of several TTRPGs, plus a silent auction and a bake sale; if you are not local you can still donate to support the org. You can read more, buy a ticket, and support the fundraiser here.

Recurring Needs:

loversdoom has recently been diagnosed with PCOS and needs help to afford the prescribed birth control pills on top of living expenses and dental bills; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here or give via paypal here.

onedollopofsourcream is fundraising to help support a large family including young children during a difficult time; they particularly need funds for needed medication (including insulin), and hopefully eventually to get out of an abusive living situation. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

chingaderita is raising funds to help their family get back on their feet after a house fire that left them in an unsafe living situation with black mold; their partner has also recently had oral surgery and many family members are unemployed, and they need funds for clean water, food, and cleaning until the mold can be taken care of. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

memprime linked to a fundraiser for a friend, virtualalternative, who needs help with cat vet bills after their cat had several blockages; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Just wanted to say ur posts always make me cackle 😂. Forget them haters!

Thoughts on how AGSZC would react at the dentist??

(thank you ❤️ 😂 )

Angeal: SOLDIER has a dedicated team of dentists who provide dental care for its operatives, and Angeal is eternally grateful for it. Because his family didn't have much money, he rarely had the opportunity to visit the dentist. While Hollander did offer dental treatments on multiple occasions, Angeal's mother was always wary of Hollander being near her son. So when Angeal joins the army and SOLDIER and gets ready access to dental care, he's determined to follow the dentist's instructions. Too determined, really. He thinks it's a competition.

Angeal: So what's my grade? Dentist: You don't get graded on your oral hygiene. Angeal: But how are my teeth? Dentist: They're in perfect condition⏤ Angeal: Perfect I got an A. Dentist: Angeal: Take that, Genesis. Dentist: Angeal: He got an F didn't he?

Sephiroth: His experiences with dentists have been limited to Hojo either performing his dental work himself or closely monitoring professionals during surgeries and unnecessary procedures (like pulling out teeth to observe how fast they grow). Needless to say, he was hesitant about visiting a regular dentist until Angeal suggested it to show him that not all dentist experiences are uncomfortable.

Sephiroth is pleasantly surprised by the dentist's office he visits in Sector 8.

*During his appointment* Dentist: How are you finding things? Sephiroth: Excellent. The waiting area was stocked with books and magazines, there was calming music, the receptionist offered me coffee. Now there's a TV on the ceiling, which I'm so distracted by that I barely notice the treatment being done. You're also being very gentle. Thank you. Dentist: I'm flattered⏤ Sephiroth: It's nice not having to worry about one of my teeth being extracted against my will. Dentist:

Genesis: "He hates the dentist" is what he tells people, when in reality he lives in constant fear that he'll randomly black out one day and wake up strapped to a dentist chair. No one knows why, not even Genesis himself understands why the dentist makes him so uncomfortable. He doesn't like sitting with his mouth open while someone pokes around in there, he doesn't like how sterile the dentist office feels, he doesn't like the prospect of having a cavity or something he'll have to be treated for, so he combats this by simply not going to the dentist. Done. "If you don't know about it, it doesn't exist."

Unfortunately this backfires horribly the day Genesis won't stop complaining about a toothache⏤and refuses to get it checked⏤so Angeal and Sephiroth take matters into their own hands.

*Lazard sees Angeal and Sephiroth carrying an unconscious Genesis into the elevator* Lazard: Please tell me he's still alive. Sephiroth: No, not murder. We cast sleep on him. Angeal: We're taking him to the dentist. Lazard: And what will you do once he wakes up screaming? *Sephiroth produces a hammer out of nowhere* Lazard: ...............

Zack: Loves the dentist. LOVES it. If Zack could go to the dentist every week, he would.

Angeal: Hey buddy, how was the dentist?

Zack, with his face full of stickers and sucking a lollipop: It was great! They got a new gaming setup for the waiting room. And I watched a movie while the dentist worked, plus he was suuuper proud of how white and healthy my teeth are. He praised me, and I even got a gold star. Oh! And on my way out, he gave me a goody bag. *Zack lifts a bag filled with toothbrushes, toy cars and crayons* Sephiroth: Does the sign outside your dentist's office say 'Pediatric' before it? Zack: Yes, why?

Cloud: Cloud doesn't fear the dentist. The dentist fears Cloud. His dental records come with a warning for every new dentist at the barracks: "WARNING: BITER." He's not doing it on purpose, in fact, he'd rather not have the reflexes that make his jaw clamp shut tightly around foreign objects. His habits are also every dentists worst nightmare. Chewing ice, nail biting, using his teeth as a tool to open things, and drinking a blend of black coffee with soda "because it tastes nice."

Zack: How'd the dentist go? Cloud: He went to the E.R. Zack:

[wangxianficfinder]

WangXian in space

~*~

won’t take the easy road by twigofwillow (T, 47k, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, WWX & WQ, space au, yearning, found family, complicated family feels, ghosts, food, teacher WWX)

💖 symmetry by bleuett (M, 44k, WangXian, Space, Science Fiction, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Holding Hands, Blow Jobs, Hand Feeding, Cultivation in Space, Yearning, Reunions, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries, Grief/Mourning, Unconventional Time Travel, Burial Mounds)

circles by bleuett (M, 21k, WangXian, Space, Sunshot Campaign, Time Travel, kind of, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Intimacy, Reunions, Slight Body Modification, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries, Unconventional Time Travel)

fly me home by bleuett (M, 16k, WangXian, Space, Science Fiction, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Pining, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, but everyone’s okay!)

the best good thing by almostsophie1 (T, 12k, WangXian, Space, Post-Apocalypse, Touch-Starved, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Hurt/Comfort)

The Return Of the (Yiling) Sith by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 23k, wangxian, SL/XXC, SL & A-Q & XXC, star wars au, hurt/comfort, the force, kidnapping, pining) 

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner, sundiscus (E, 71k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Vulcan LWJ, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining,   Eventual Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pon Farr, Mind Meld, Fuck Or Die, Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort) 

Cut Him Out in Little Stars by ChaoticAndrogynous (E, 69k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Grief/Mourning, Existential Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memory Loss, Dementia (referenced), Suicidal Thoughts, Battlefield Surgery, Blood and Injury, Immortality, Loneliness, Isolation, Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Bondage, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian (mentioned))

Stars bring us apart (Stars pull us together) by Sixlayerhouse (sixlayerhouse) (E, 124k, WangXian, ChengSang, Hurt/Comfort, (Vaguely) Star Trek AU, Psychological Trauma, PTSD, Body modifications, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Recovery, married!wangxian)

it calls to those Series by Shializaro (T, 7k, WangXian, Time Travel, POV Outsider, POV Alternating, LWJ Has Feelings, Make LWJ Cry Agenda, Good Sibling JC, JC is So Done, Angst and Humor)

In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss)

there is no limited dimensions by Stratisphyre (M, 104k, WangXian, NieLan, MianQing, WN/Other(s), Star Trek Fusion, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Assumed Character Death, Minor Character Death, Tags on Each Chapter, references to non-con, references to canonical slavery, (The Orion Syndicate is just really bad okay?), bizarre space mpreg, Implied Future Pairings, Implied NHS/Others, POV Multiple, Accidental Child Acquisition, Found Family)

Waiting for the light (our tender sentiments, unfolding) by lamusadelils (T, 9k, wangxian, modern cultivation, space au, scifi au, engineer Lan Wangji, astrobotanist Wei Wuxian, Illnesses, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gardens & Gardening, but in SPACE!)

the wind on another star by Reverie (cl410) (M, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Space, a space drama!, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Reunions, some murder, some sketchy science, Space Battles, Politics, Genius WWX, BAMF WWX)

the place where you are by BlackWiresOnHerHead (T, 34k, WangXian, Space, two found families for the price of one, food as a love language, Yearning, Science Fiction, prickly shipmates to friends to lovers, Cyborg WN, cisswapped juniors)

Captain of Questionable Starfleet Practices by warmporridge (G, 6k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, But you dont need knowledge of star trek to read this!!, Science Fiction, One Shot Collection, vulcan!lwj, Captain!WWX, Canonical Character Death, aka wwx dies for like 2 minutes, Tribbles (Star Trek))

I'm feeling very still by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 8k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Inspired by Passengers (2016), But much less problematic, granted it's a low bar, Isolation, Engineering, Cryostasis, mild stalking, mild obsession, Mental Health Issues, Cloud Recesses is now a spaceship)

The Betazoid Wedding Conversation by starandrea (T, 4k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Vulcan LWJ, Love Confessions, First Kiss)

I need my space by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Astronauts, Getting Together, First Kiss, Implied Sexual Content, trapped together, Roommates, kind of, They share a very small spacecraft so that counts right, Soft WangXian, No Angst)

Sailing the Endless Sea by Rainewritesfanfics (G, 1k, WangXian, Pre-Relationship, Space, Homesickness, Science Fiction, Mild Hurt/Comfort)

root your love a little deeper by DrPanda99 (T, 7k, WangXian, Space, mild body horror, Hanahaki Disease, but turning into a tree, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Curses)

dropped from the sky by awenswords (G, 5k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Farmer WWX, pilot lwj, Developing Relationship, Developing Friendships, Pre-Relationship, Space Opera, Farm/Ranch)

tell me your whole life by phnelt (T, 8k, WangXian, Noir, Robots & Androids, Space, it's a space noir!, robot wwx, hacker lwj, Brief Violence, Memory Loss)

& again tomorrow by bleuett (T, 1k, WangXian, Space, Yearning, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending)

a well-intentioned proposition by bosbie (T, 1k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Space, Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Android LWJ, Miscommunication, oblivious lwj)

water, and the open sky by el_em_en_oh_pee (T, 20k, WangXian, Future, Space, Science Fiction, Cultivation in Space, Science Fantasy, Lighthouses, Water, plankton is the new radish, Redemption, alien dinosaurs, split lip kisses)

back to your door by fruitys (M, 8k, WangXian, Space, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Getting Back Together, Hand Jobs, yearning across time AND planets, gardener wei ying... gardener wei ying in space…, he is a plant scientist)

The Terminus of Gravity by feralhypertext (M, 28k, WangXian, Space, Canon-Typical Violence, Interplanetary Travel, Epistolary, (by way of transmissions instead of letters))

hurricane by gdgdbaby (E, 5k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Pon Farr, Alien Biology, Porn with Feelings, Yuletide Treat)

That Time Wei Wuxian Fell In Love With His First Officer And Didn't Even Realize by seungchxn (E, 9k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Captain WWX, First Officer LWJ, Vulcan Mind Melds, Vulcan Kisses, Fluff and Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Hand Jobs, Hand & Finger Kink, Alien Biology, Mutual Pining, First Time, First Kiss, Falling In Love, True Love, Soulmates, Accidental Marriage, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious WWX, WWX is a Little Shit, WWX is Bad at Feelings, Possessive LWJ, LWJ is Whipped, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, The Inherent Eroticism of Holding Hands)

and i'll burn with the fire of ten million stars by Lirazel (M, 11k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, you do not have to be familiar with star trek to read this, Pon Farr, (of course), but it's induced by a rare microbe so really, it's Sex Pollen, Dubious Consent, half-vulcan science officer!lwj, chaotic engineering disaster gremlin!wwx, the inherent eroticism of vulcan finger-touching, vers!wangxian because that's the only thing i believe in)

the red dark shifting by typefortydeductions (E, 15k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending, But it will be ok, PTSD, Nightmares, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Mild Gore, Tarsus IV, mentions of medical procedures)

On The Way To The Stars by kuro (T, 11k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Science Fiction, Road Trips, Fake Marriage, Pining, Fluff, Separations, Wedding Rings, Modern AU)

My Home Is Your Body by phnelt (E, 15k, WangXian, Star Trek Voyager AU, vulcan lwj, betazoid wwx, Telepathy, imzadi is like t'hy'la except for betazoids, eventually explicit, first chapter is T rated, former borg drone wn, former maquis wwx, starfleet lwj)

first contact by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 18k, WangXian, XiYao, hinted at NieYao, Star Trek Fusion, Science Fiction, Androids, Canon-Typical Violence, mild body horror, due to androids, Android LWJ, Android LXC, First Meetings, Pre-Relationship, Engineer WWX, Betazoid MY, Ambiguous/Open Ending)

spinning with the stars above by tardigradeschool (G, 7k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Tarsus IV, Pre-Relationship, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Fluff, Friends to Lovers)

won't you let me know you now by tardigradeschool (T, 12k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Mutual Pining, Telepathy, Vulcan Mind Melds, Pre-Relationship, very background 3zun, Protective Siblings, Friends to Lovers)

and i knew that somehow, i could find my way back by daltoneering (E, 14k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Friends to Lovers, Spaceship captain LWJ, Emotional Sex, very light background nielan)

two colours for everything by kakikaeru (M, 8k, WangXian, Space, Off-screen Character Death, war-related injury, and subsequent rehabilitation, prisoner of war type mistreatment)

134340 by silverclaw (M, 18k, WangXian, Space, Space Opera, Heavy Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Closure, Parallel Universes, Coco the robot, LWJ accidentally adopting creatures as he goes, LWJ also has a nose ring, The following are SPOILER tags, there are two lwjs and one of them dies, wwx mourning lwj, Hopeful Ending, in terms of closure and healing, parallel!lwj and wwx form a bond, mentions of captivity, dystopian themes)

orbital decay by defractum (nyargles) (T, 14k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Space, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Cultivation AU, Body Horror)

Duel of the Twins by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 71k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, JC & WWX, Star Wars Setting, Science Fiction, each chapter is intended to be a whole movie within a trilogy, Canon-Typical Violence, Mild Gore, mild body horror, Mentions of Suicide, But only in passing, please take that major character death warning seriously, Angst with a Happy Ending, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Angst, Dismemberment)

We Wish You A Logical Christmas by little_ogre (M, 9k, WangXian, Star Trek AU, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Going to Vulcan for Christmas, WWX is Vulcan, LWJ is human, what could go wrong, Pon Farr)

among the stars by plonk (E, 61k, WangXian, Space, Science Fiction, Firefly Setting, Courtesan WWX, Courtesan LWJ)

And I Think It's Gonna Be a Long, Long, Time by sketchyscribbles (M, 21k, WangXian, ChengSang, XuanLi, Science Fiction, the martian!au, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Mutual Pining, wwx attempting the impossible, Happy Ending, Minor Violence, minor 3zun, Minor Injuries, Outer Space)

change by antebunny (G, 16k, WangXian, WWX & JYL, LWJ & LXC, Star Wars Fusion, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Telepathy, because...the Force, Non-Graphic Violence, The Power of Love™, BAMF WWX, JYL is a queen, wwx is a little shit)

Circlet of Death by cinder1013 (E, 20k, WangXian, XiYao, MingYu, Star Wars Fusion, scum, Villainy, Pirates, I make up Jedi stuff, Gender Fluid Character, Genderfluid MXY, Misgendering, BAMF JYL, Tantric Sex, Badass QS, Sexual Violence, Anal Sex, Wedding Night)

Among Us by misbehavingvigilante (E, 50k, WangXian, Among Us (Video Game) Setting, Alien Sex, Breeding, Eggpreg, Tentacles, Consensual Non-Consent, Dubious Consent, They're both into it but yeah, Cannibalism, The dove is dead but in the Addams Family type of way)

one hundred, twenty thousand, thirty million Series by Mikkeneko (T/M, 160k, WIP, WangXian, Non-Linear Narrative, Space AU, Science Fiction, Cybernetics, WWX's memory issues, Politics, Xianxia IN SPACE!, stranded in space, in a broken spacesuit, Flashbacks)

~*~

I'd like to thank @the-marathon-continues-nip for letting us know about their space collection. We definitely wouldn't have as many fics on this comp otherwise. We really appreciate it! Thank you ~ - Mod C

~*~

[mia-tiny]

Coming Home | K. Hongjoong

⇒ pairing: k. hongjoong x fem!reader

⇒ smut, estranged friends to lovers, small town nostalgia, slow-ish burn?, unprotected sex (big no no), oral & fingering (fem receiving), tame dirty talk, reader called “baby,” mutual pining, car sex, some light drinking

⇒ word count: 14.4k

⇒ summary: After six years spent in the city, coming back to your rural home for the holidays has you confronting your feelings not only about your old life, but also about your estranged best friend who you left behind.

💕 view my masterlist here

🖤 view my Kinktober ‘22 masterlist here

⇒ author’s note: my first shot at a longer, more slow burn style fic. thinking of mixing it up between longer pieces like this and my usual oneshot style fics going forward.

Six years.

That is how long it has been since you’ve returned to your humble hometown deep in the middle of nowhere, but somehow the dilapidated city limit sign on the side of the road looks exactly the same as it did years ago, with chips of paint peeling off at the corners and a faded graffiti tag covering half the town’s name. It welcomes you back into a world you left long ago in search of neon lights rather than the glow of bonfires and bustling streets instead of gravel paths.

It’s not that you hate this town, in fact growing up here was filled with joy and freedom, but you had always wanted to see what else the world has to offer. Ever since you can remember, you’ve imagined yourself living the glamorous city life that you always saw on TV, and everyone here knew you had plans to leave the rural ways behind. You’ve always wanted to open a cute little cafe on a busy backstreet with the best coffee and pastries in town, maybe even expanding the business to become a chain once you’re making enough money. This dream is why you ended up moving away for college and never coming back. Well, at least until now.

Coming home for the holidays hadn’t entirely been your decision, though. For many years, your family has traveled to you instead since it meant a fun vacation away from home, but your mother’s recent surgery took that option off the table this year while she is still recovering. Your choices for Christmas were therefore to either sit at home alone in your pajamas or to make the long drive back to this quaint town that you haven’t really thought about twice since departing.

In many ways, returning feels almost like breathing with how natural and ingrained it is in your nature, but in some ways it is also oddly terrifying. Just feeling the familiar breeze and warmth of the rural sun on your skin has you unsettled, as if you are being pushed to confront the life you left behind in comparison to the one you’ve been living. You’re not entirely unaware of the fact that city living isn’t as perfect as you’d imagined it to be, but you’ve never allowed yourself to dwell on that thought long enough for it to take root.

If you’re being honest, you must admit that it has definitely been difficult to keep up with such high living expenses, working multiple jobs, and adjusting to the hustle and bustle of the fast-paced urban landscape. Making friends and finding a community has also been much harder since most everyone is so closed off or caught up in their own self-centered drama. Still, even if it isn’t as glamorous as you imagined, it is something you’ve always wanted, so surely it’s right.

As you cruise along, you notice that the antiquated shops and homes littered along the main stretch of road look as though they have been on pause since you left, even every pebble and every leaf at their feet having waited patiently in their spot for your return. The recognizable scene breeds a sense of comfort steeped in the thought that no matter how far you stray, this little town is a constant. Are you perhaps the only thing that has changed?

As you pull down a few back streets and onto the humble paths with houses spaced much more generously than in the city, your parents’ little cabin-esque home soon comes into view, and you can already spot your dad waiting for you on the porch. A smile immediately brightens his face as he notices you, and you stick your arm out of the open window to return his giddy wave. By the time you’ve made it down the driveway, your entire family has spilled outdoors to greet you, even including your grandparents and some uncles and aunts who have come over to welcome you back home.

Through the enthusiastic hugs and mandatory cheek squeezes, you can already smell the sweet scent of your mom’s cooking wafting through the house. Even though she is still recovering from her surgery, you can’t imagine she has made anything less than a feast to celebrate your presence. You soon come to find, however, that she has truly outdone herself by inviting half the town over for a party in the evening. This wasn’t quite the greeting you were expecting after such a long and tiring drive, but it shouldn’t really be surprising to once again be showered with the overwhelming love that has always been available to you here. In a town this small, everyone just feels like extended family with how well you know and look after each other. Consequently, they all want to be present for your homecoming, and you’ve got only an hour to prepare yourself for the extreme degree of affection about to come your way.

With family greetings set aside for the moment, you lug your packed suitcase up the squeaky hardwood stairs and into your childhood bedroom. Your parents have left it virtually untouched despite you having been gone for so long. The walls are still a faded baby blue and your twin bed sits in the corner, covered by a tacky floral comforter that you had thought, at age thirteen, was the pinnacle of home decor. Bookcases filled with cheesy teen romance novels and small plastic trophies sit alongside your worn wooden desk, which you take a seat at with a heavy exhale that gives away how tired you already are. Seven hours in the car is perhaps a few too many.

Your eyes glance over the old pictures stuck to the wall just over your desk and you smile at the nostalgic images. The one on the end catches your attention with its bright pop of orange and you lean forward to peel it off for a closer look. Sure enough, it is a photo of you and Hongjoong from your high school graduation in which you are laughing obnoxiously at something he must’ve said. Or you were perhaps laughing at his hair, which he had to dye orange for the event upon losing a bet with you over whether or not he would cry from watching Titanic. He did, of course, and his loss is now forever recorded in all your graduation pictures.

A small chuckle escapes you as you recall the fond memory, but part of you also saddens as you gaze at the image. Like everything else in this town, Hongjoong was something you ended up inadvertently leaving behind despite your long history with one another. He had been your neighbor from the time you were both born just days apart, meaning you naturally became best friends as you spent your childhood together playing outdoors or making mischief. You both grew into your adolescence as partners in crime and many things changed, but he was always constant. Until you left.

It wasn’t that you wanted to abandon him, but you suddenly had a life where he wasn’t constantly by your side, something neither of you really knew how to manage when it came to maintaining your friendship. As time went on, and life got busy, you both just ended up slipping further apart. Now it has been years since you spoke last and every time you think of him, you can’t deny the pang of guilt that eats away at your heart.

He won’t be here tonight, will he?

A moment of panic washes through you as you imagine having to face him once again after all this time, but you quickly relax as you realize he probably left this town as well. He has always had many artistic passions and talents, so surely he has found his way to bigger and better things. He was always meant for greatness, after all.

Thoughts of Hongjoong set aside, you diligently prepare yourself for the amount of energy you’re about to expend rehashing the last six years of your life to every single person you’re about to see. There is no doubt in your mind that they will all want to know every last detail, but only after spending time gushing about how much you’ve grown. It will likely get to be a tiring process, but they’re all people you love who are simply excited to see you, so you choose to see it as endearing rather than irritating.

The first hour of the party goes by smoothly with family friends and neighbors pouring into your home and spilling out into the backyard where your father has started a bonfire. The amount of hugs you’ve received in your lifetime has likely doubled from tonight alone, but it feels amazing to be so warmly welcomed back. Falling back into the natural rhythm of the small-town life comes easier and easier with each guest that arrives even though your level of exhaustion keeps slowly increasing. One cup of coffee on the way here was definitely not enough.

Still, it is great to see everyone and hear what they’ve been up to. Your neighbor, Amanda, who runs the liquor store in town, is especially quick to catch you up on all the local drama you’ve missed. Apparently Peter and Larissa have gotten a divorce and are in the middle of a nasty custody battle, John’s son got a full college scholarship for football, and there is thought to be a new ghost haunting the local library (because the lights flickering sometimes must mean a ghost). These are only the first three things she tells you and there is so much more that you can’t even keep track of, but just hearing about it has you feeling connected to the town again in a way that you missed.

In the middle of letting Amanda retell the entire timeline of her last relationship that you hadn’t been privy to, the front door creaks open once again and you glance in its direction to see who else has arrived, only for your heart to immediately hit the floor. Even from across the crowded room you can tell exactly who it is stepping in timidly with their beaming parents in tow. And much to your dismay, his eyes glaze over the swarm of people until they lock on yours while you continue to openly gawk at him in shock.

Kim Hongjoong. The one and only person you were afraid of running into tonight.

He looks both the same and completely different at the same time. The skinny, clumsy boy that you once knew has been replaced by a mature, handsome man who bears resemblance, but has clearly grown into himself over time. His hair is no longer the faded orange you last saw him with when you left for college, but is instead an ashy light brown that makes his complexion glow. The raggedy old band t-shirts he used to live in have now been replaced with a crisp white button up paired with an oversized brown cardigan, leading him to look both dressed up and dressed down at the same time. He has even accessorized with some wire glasses and multiple new piercings, some of which are connected by flashy silver chains.

Since when has he known how to dress this well?

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He’s coming this way. Pick your jaw up off the fucking floor and compose yourself before you end up looking like an even bigger moron!

“Y/N!” Hongjoong’s mother sing-songs as she pushes past her son to reach you with outstretched arms.

“Mrs. Kim!” you call back with a forced amount of enthusiasm as she envelops you in a crushing embrace. She was always like a second mother to you, so you would be elated to see her if it weren’t for her son’s presence making your brain glitch in an absolute panic.

“Oh, darling, I’ve missed you so much!” She swings you from side to side in her excitement, almost tipping you over before her husband prompts her to let you go, also saying hello in the process. She settles for resting her hands on your shoulders as she takes in your appearance with total glee. “I can’t believe you’re finally back! How is the city treating you? Is it just like you thought it would be? What about the jobs there? I’m sure you must’ve met so many incredible people! Oh goodness, Joongie, come say hi!”

Despite asking so many questions, her hysteria doesn’t even allow you to get a word in before she is pulling her son out from behind her so that he can face you. Your expression surely pales in that instant and you can feel your palms moisten with sweat. You both just stare at each other for a moment, his expression unreadable as the rest of the commotion in the room is completely droned out of your mind.

“Oh, baby, don’t be shy! You used to be best friends! She’s still the same girl you grew up with,” his mother prompts, entirely unaware of the strange tension thickening the air.

“Hey, Y/N,” Hongjoong finally utters, sticking out his hand for you to shake. You look at it, frozen in place by the distance in his action.

“Joongie, don’t be silly. Give her a hug, it’s been forever!” Mrs. Kim once again chimes in with a motivating nudge on his shoulder.

He glances at her in a manner that clearly reveals his discomfort, but quickly suppresses the feeling and avoids eye contact as he steps forward to embrace you loosely, your torsos not even touching as you awkwardly lift your hands up to pat his back. Even if he has changed so much, one thing is for sure: he still wears the same cologne you had gifted him at age 16 when you cordially asked him to cover his “man odor.”

When he pulls away, neither of you can look at each other. Your heart is beating out of your chest and you want nothing more than for the floor to open you up and suck you down into hell. As if seeing him again isn’t uncomfortable enough, his mother being this clueless has made the interaction one thousand times worse. You need to escape this situation right now.

“It’s so great to see you all, thank you for coming!” you start off graciously with the most hospitable voice you can muster. “I’m actually going to head to the restroom, but please make yourselves at home. There is dinner in the kitchen if you’re hungry and seats out back as well. I’ll be around.”

You begin slowly walking away while speaking so that by the time you finish, they are unable to suck you back into a conversation. Your feet carry you to the bathroom in a mad rush, though you try not to let the other guests see just how panicked you are. As soon as you make it there, you slam the door shut and lock it, your back then resting against the wall as you take deep breaths.

In the weeks leading up to this trip home, you hadn’t really considered the possibility of seeing Hongjoong again. Whether that was because you truly forgot about him or because you convinced yourself that he would’ve vanished into thin air, you aren’t entirely sure. Since you stopped talking to him, any reminder of his existence and what you had let go was always a painful assault on your psyche. Instead of recalling all of the great memories together, your heart has been plagued with guilt and shame over the ending of your friendship. Seeing him in person again, especially combined with his distant attitude, has your negative emotions festering at ten times the usual intensity.

You sink down to sit on the floor as you try to grapple with the other major issue occupying your brain. As soon as he walked through the door, beyond the guilt you felt, all of the suppressed feelings you’ve always harbored for Hongjoong rapidly came rising to the surface.

The chemistry that the two of you have shared throughout your lives has always been deeper and more meaningful than how either of you connect with other friends. The spark between you has always been sort of an unspoken acknowledgement in your relationship, something too delicate for either of you to address lest it open up doors you are both too afraid to enter.

You could always feel it, though. When you would play hooky together to go see the latest superhero film, the nights under the stars that you’d spend getting high by the lake, the way he would obnoxiously call your name across the hallway at school, his words of comfort and encouragement after your every break up. In all these moments and more, you could tell just how deeply connected you are in a manner that transcends friendship, and you could tell that Hongjoong felt it too.

At the same time, however, you knew that the second you gave in to these feelings, you may have never been able to let go. You were terrified of falling so deeply into Hongjoong that you’d never escape. It always felt as if just one wrong move–

You jump in surprise as a loud rasping on the door abruptly wakes you from your thoughts.

“Oh, uh, just a moment!” you call in a hurried response, pulling yourself from the floor and taking one last deep breath to steel yourself before facing the party again.

You open the door and leave your temporary sanctuary so that your uncle can enter, the laughter from the next room practically teasing your anxious state as your moment of solitude ends. You just have to get through this party.

For the next couple hours you work diligently in avoiding Hongjoong at all costs, trying your best to make it look natural as you keep your distance. Every few minutes you scan the crowd to make sure he is still on the opposite side of the room and try not to stare long enough that he will feel your gaze burning a hole into the back of his head. Honestly, you can’t even focus on half of the conversations you have because you are so actively wrapped up in this game of cat and mouse that Hongjoong doesn’t even know he’s participating in. Your methods ultimately work out, however, since you are able to avoid him late into the night.

By the time things start slowing down and most of the guests are relaxing out by the fire, your head is pounding with how exhausted you are, your energy having been sucked out by both the taxing journey to get home and the anxiety-fueled nightmare that has been this party. Needing some time to just decompress and not be the center of attention, you wait until the living room is empty to snatch a bottle of expensive red wine and tiptoe up the stairs to your room, praying nobody sees you escaping your own celebration.

As you have done many times before, you yank open your dormer window that overlooks the front yard and slip out onto the roof with your drink in hand. Long ago, you spent many wistful nights in this exact spot, staring up at the stars when you needed to just be alone and think. Something about sitting here under the vast night sky always made your problems seem much smaller as you paled in comparison to the infinity of space before you, but that same sense of comfort doesn’t come as easily tonight.

You lean back against the rough shingles of the rooftop and take a few heavy gulps out of the wine bottle, hissing at the taste since you’ve never really been a fan of reds. It’ll do the trick, though, and you’re not really in the mood to be picky. A heavy exhale escapes you and you close your eyes, the sound of chatter spilling out into the night air from the guests mingling on the other side of the house. Your thoughts immediately drift where you wish they wouldn’t as Hongjoong’s appearance permeates your mind.

As if right on cue, the sound of light knocking against your window sill causes you to gasp and look over in surprise.

“Hey,” Hongjoong casually calls with his body stuck halfway out the window already. “Figured I’d find you up here. Mind if I join?”

You hope that your nervousness doesn’t show on your face and he can’t hear your heart as it now thumps dangerously against your chest. Still, you scooch over to make room for him.

“Sure.” He climbs onto the rooftop and takes a seat next to you, the proximity of his body making you hyper aware of your every movement. “Want some?”

You offer him the bottle of wine, to which he chuckles but graciously accepts, taking a prolonged drink before frowning at the taste just like you did. You can’t help but laugh lightly at his reaction, some of the nerves dissipating just marginally.

“I guess we’re still not quite proper adults just yet, huh? When wine still tastes this bad,” he jokes as he hands the drink back over.

“If that’s what defines adulthood, then I guess not.”

The moment of jest fades away as you both gaze up at the sky and a thick silence settles between you. This must be the first time you’re next to Hongjoong and yet you can’t find anything to say, but, thankfully, he breaks the deafening sound of six years spent apart.

“Sorry about my mom back there. She’s, you know… her,” he apologizes stiffly without bringing himself to look over at you.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have expected anything else from her. It’s actually kind of comforting to come back and find that almost everyone is still the same as before.” You pray he doesn’t ask you to elaborate on the ‘almost’ since it exclusively applies to him.

“Yeah, things around here don’t change as quickly as in the city, I suppose.” He lets out a steady breath and you gulp down some more of the wine. “How is it out there? Everything you ever dreamed of?”

You can’t exactly tell the emotion behind his words and you consider just how honest you should be. Is he just asking out of pleasantries? Are you still close enough that you can start airing your grievances about city life? Even if you are, do you really want to put those thoughts out into the world in such a way that makes them significantly more real than when they just live in your mind?

“It’s fine. You know, different,” you answer vaguely, shrugging off his inquiry. He finally turns to face you.

“It’s fine?” he questions. “What does that actually mean? Because it doesn’t mean fine.”

Goddamn this man and how well he can read you even after so long. His tone and demeanor, though, feel so familiar and warm that you can’t resist wanting to open up to him as if no time has passed at all. Sitting together like this, he somehow still feels like your safe space even though tonight has been painfully awkward up to this point. Nonetheless, you feel a little strange to immediately start unloading onto him and decide against it.

“It is fine, though,” you answer, but it even sounds like a lie to you this time. “I mean, it’s not the perfect life I imagined, but nothing is perfect.”

He seems to think about your answer momentarily before giving a small nod. “That’s true, I guess. Have you opened up your own cafe yet?”

You bite the inside of your cheek in embarrassment. “No, not yet. Living expenses are really high there so I haven’t been able to save up yet…”

“Oh,” he mumbles at your feeble response. “What do you do for work, then?”

You can tell he is asking out of genuine curiosity, but your face burns in shame. “I work as a barista and a bartender, both part-time. It’s a lot of work, but I haven’t really been able to start a career just yet…”

“Ah…”

You take another swig from the bottle before passing it over to him, pulling your knees closer to your chest as he also drinks. After spending your entire life boasting about how you’ll thrive in the city, admitting all of your unexpected struggles to him has you feeling increasingly disappointed in the outcome of your six years away.

“You do like it there, though, right?” Hongjoong asks earnestly, his gaze shifting to study your face as you contemplate the answer.

Yes. Of course you should say yes… Why are you not saying yes?

As you look into his eyes, the word ‘yes’ doesn’t come as easily as it usually does when you’re asked this question. Just as you felt when you first drove into the city’s limits, you feel like, for the first time in six years, you are truly being forced to consider the reality of your urban life compared to the life you had here. The doubts you’ve had about your move, which you have always so diligently repressed, are finally at the forefront of your mind as you are faced with everything you left behind. And that fact that Hongjoong’s caring eyes continue to bear down heavy on you doesn’t help your effort to ignore the aching in your chest.

You rip your gaze away from him and look back up at night sky, afraid of what spiral you would start heading towards if you shared that moment with him any longer.

“You know, I was really surprised to see you tonight,” you state in an attempt to change the topic.

“Yeah? Why is that?” You are thankful that he also directs his attention back to the constellations as if giving you permission to avoid his earlier question.

“I just assumed you would also end up leaving this place. Move on to bigger and better things. Maybe become a new age artist or something.” He chuckles at your terminology.

“A new age artist, huh? I mean, I guess I could’ve done that, but I never really needed much more outside of what I have here. As long as I have the things that are important to me, I’m perfectly happy.”

You spare a side glance at him to see the beauty of his smile under the pale moonlight. You can’t help the slight jealousy that arises at his simple attitude towards contentment, as if it is almost too easy for him to be pleased with life.

“So you’re just doing perfect then? All sunshine and rainbows?” The slight edge in your voice gives away your saltiness, but he doesn’t bother commenting on it.

“Well, no. There are still things I want and regrets I have, but it’s like you said: nothing is perfect.”

What regrets could he possibly have, though? Hongjoong has always been the type to live exactly as he pleases without worrying about the reactions or judgments of others, so you can’t help but be curious about his statement.

“Regrets? Of all people, I wouldn’t expect that from you.”

He sighs as if thinking deeply over the subject and smiles minutely, though the supposed happiness doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Doesn’t everyone have regrets, though? Things they would do differently if they had the chance?”

He gazes at you once again and, for a moment, his expression almost betrays the intentions behind his cryptic statement. Your heart is suddenly beating at twice its normal rate from the strange tension that thickens the evening’s cool breeze, and you wonder if he can feel it too. The look in his eyes has you falling deeper into his stare until an episode of roaring laughter from the party down below wakes you both from the prolonged moment.

Hongjoong clumsily clears his throat as his eyes flicker here and there, eventually bringing the wine bottle to his lips to take another gulp. Needing something else to focus on besides your body’s heated reaction to the man beside you, you act swiftly to change the subject yet again.

“You know, I told you about myself, but I still don’t know what you’ve been up to. Surely you’re not still working under Barry, are you?”

Hongjoong laughs boisterously from being reminded of his chaotic part time job in high school. Looking for extra cash to spend, he had taken up a few shifts at Barry’s restaurant supposedly just to wash dishes, but he ended up being the cook, server, manager, host, and personal assistant all in one. Every day he would come over after work with a new story about the day’s adventures that got wilder as time went on, but at least he got paid pretty well.

“No, definitely not. I would’ve been worked into an early grave by this point if that were true,” he chuckles, the mood lifting instantly with the sound of his laughter. “If you’re really curious about what I’ve been doing, I could take you tomorrow to show you.”

Your cheeks burn at his offer, but a small “sure” escapes you before you can stop it. He smiles at you in earnest and you match his expression despite the nervousness growing in your chest over what you’ve just agreed to.

“Hongjoong!” you hear his mother call in the distance. “Joongie!”

He exhales begrudgingly and hands you the bottle of red. “I guess that’s my cue. Note to self: next time, don’t carpool with your parents.”

You snicker at his comment, knowing full well that, despite his words, he will likely do it again if they ask him to because he cares about them so much, even if it means being on their schedule.

Hongjoong carefully stands and shuffles his way closer to the open window, stopping when half his body is already inside to peek out and see you once again. “I’ll pick you up around one.”

“I’ll be ready.”

He seems to hesitate before speaking. “I’m really glad I got to see you tonight. I missed you.”

Before you can reply, he has already escaped indoors, off to find his parents so he can escort them home. You let out a deep sigh you weren’t aware you’d been holding, your breath turning instantly to fog that dissipates into the chilly night. Your heart is a hurricane of unclear emotions just from this one conversation. Some of Hongjoong’s words even echo mercilessly in your mind.

Doesn’t everyone have regrets, though? Things they would do differently if they had the chance?

You try your hardest to not imagine exactly what he is referring to or think of the things that you are suddenly feeling regretful over. Having to ponder either has your chest constricting with anxiety and doubt, so you simply lay back against the cold shingles of the rooftop once more and search for images in the bright rural stars that can finally shine freely without the overwhelming light pollution of the city.

In considering your plans with Hongjoong, you think that tomorrow can’t come soon enough, but you also hope it never comes. It is a strange contradiction that leaves you feeling torn between both hope and fear. You aren’t even sure what exactly you are wishing to happen tomorrow, but for now you at least decide to go to bed so the chaos in your mind will cease.

~

By the time one o’clock rolls around, you’ve spent the entire morning frantically obsessing over what to wear, how to style your hair, and how much makeup to put on. It’s not like there is much fashion guidance for meeting up with your estranged childhood best friend with whom you have an inexplicable deep-seated connection that you’ve always been afraid to approach. Your family simply observed in confusion as you tried on every piece of clothing you brought in your suitcase, had a mini mental breakdown because you should’ve packed something better, and ultimately ended up in the very first outfit you tried on. By the concerned way they’ve been looking at you, they surely believe that the city must have turned you into an absolute nut. Honestly, they might not be wrong.

From where you sit anxiously bouncing your leg on the living room sofa, you can hear Hongjoong’s car crunching down the gravel driveway and force yourself to take a steadying breath before you stand.

“Be cool. It’s just Hongjoong. You got this,” you murmur to yourself in assurance despite your dad being seated just a few feet away.

“You do got this, sweetie,” he teases as you shoot him a playful glare, to which he chuckles amusedly. You’re just thankful he doesn’t ask why you’re freaking out so much about meeting the person you spent your entire youth with. That level of nosiness really is more your mom’s speed, but even she has refrained from questioning your odd behavior today.

Hongjoong is already climbing the few stairs to your front porch when you step outside. He stops and stares for just a split moment, his eyes raking instinctively over your figure in a manner that has you trying to ignore the burning heat in your cheeks.

“Hey. You look nice,” he compliments while flashing his perfect smile in your direction.

“Thanks, you do too.”

It may just sound like pleasantries, but he really does look good in the oversized navy sweater and light denim jeans he is wearing. Him wearing nice clothing is something you aren’t quite used to yet, but you definitely aren’t complaining, even if it does cause butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“Ready to go?” he asks as you join his side.

“Ready if you are.”

He leads you to the same SUV he’s been driving since high school and kindly opens the passenger door for you, waiting until you are settled to close it gently. You can’t even remember how many nights you spent hanging out in this car just talking or getting high on some relaxed weekends, the two of you often finding a secluded place to park and just chill together. It isn’t a luxury vehicle by any means but Hongjoong had specifically upgraded the sound system long ago just so you could bump the new music you were always playing for him. Even if he wasn’t into the music itself, he adored seeing how excited you’d get when sharing something you love, so the AUX cord effectively came under your ownership despite the fact that he was always the one driving.

“And we’re off,” Hongjoong hums to himself, having climbed in the driver’s seat and started the car during your nostalgic flashbacks.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?”

“You know where we’re going,” he jokes merrily. “I’m going to show you what I’ve been up to.”

You roll your eyes with a dramatic scoff, knowing he’s pressing your buttons just for fun. “You know what I mean. Do I only get to find out once we get there?”

“Bingo,” he sing-songs. “No spoilers.”

“Oh god, you aren’t going to take me to some murder den, are you?”

He slaps his thigh dramatically as he bursts into laughter, the sound like music to your ears as you settle back into a comfortable rhythm rather quickly.

“Definitely not, but if I were taking you to one, I wouldn’t tell you anyways.”

“Fair point, but be warned. I took two taekwondo lessons in college and can be lethal when I want to,” you mock with a playful chop of the air for emphasis.

“Ah, I will watch out for your amazing white belt skills, then,” he snickers. “You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“You don’t think I have?”

Honestly, you had been thinking that you were the only thing to have changed (besides his appearance), but his words do make you think that you have been settling more and more into yourself as you spend time with him. 

“No, you’re definitely the same weirdo you’ve always been.”

You lightly slap his arm in retaliation for the name calling, to which he responds in a comically dramatic fashion. As you both continue to joke around, though, his words still linger in the back of your mind. Are you really the same person you were then?

It takes all of five minutes before he is pulling up to the curb near one of the old brick buildings towards the end of main street. It almost looks like a townhome with how it’s sandwiched on both sides by other buildings, a quaint style signature of small towns. Of course you recognize the place, but you’ve only ever been in the storefront at its base, a cute little candle and soap shop run by the couple who lives three doors down from you.

“Ah, so you’re a chandler now?” you ask in confusion as you both exit the car and step onto the uneven stone sidewalk.

Hongjoong laughs under his breath in reply and envelops your hand in his as he leads you to an unmarked entrance. It is positioned to the left of the shop’s windows where one building almost becomes the next, and you likely wouldn’t have paid it any mind if he weren’t pulling you inside of it.

Rather than focusing much on the door, however, your mind is busy trying to comprehend his casual attitude towards holding your hand, as if he wasn’t trying to give you a handshake instead of a hug less than 24 hours ago. But because he treats it normally, you don’t mention it or pull away either, especially not remarking on the fluttering feeling it gives you even as he takes you up a set of creaky and uneven stairs. The dim lighting here also makes you think maybe you were right about the murder den…

As you reach the second floor, Hongjoong lets go of your hand to fish his keys from his pocket, using the only golden one to unlock the first door on your right. Once you both step inside, you are relieved to find that the walls and floors are not covered in plastic and blood. Instead, you find a quaint photography studio equipped with fancy lights, multiple tripods, a plush couch, backdrops ready to be rolled down, and a messy desk in the corner.

“Wow, Joong! This is amazing,” you coo, the nickname naturally slipping out as your eyes continue to wander around the room.

“It’s nothing special. I’ve been renting this space out for a couple years after saving up enough so now I actually have a place for shoots,” he explains humbly. “I also do nature photography that I license out since there are so many pretty landscapes around here.”

“So this is all yours?”

“Yeah. It’s not much, but it makes me happy.”

You glance over at him to see his contented expression as he talks about his work, making you pleased that he has found something meaningful and satisfying to do. At the same time, you can’t help the tinge of jealousy at seeing how much he loves what he does. Every time you even think about having to go to work, you’re instantly put in a bad mood and dreading the moment you have to clock in.

As Hongjoong feels the weight of your stare and his eyes meet yours, you immediately whip your head elsewhere to continue looking around, ignoring the rush of embarrassment flowing through you from being caught. You do your best to pretend you don’t hear his under-the-breath chuckle.

As you scan over his work space, you notice the wall of framed photos and stroll over to admire his work. You recognize all the smiling faces inside the portraits and a grin creeps onto your face at the sight.

“Are these–”

“Everyone in town, yeah. Well, not everyone is up on the wall, but the rest are in my portfolio. When they found out I wanted to pursue photography as a career, they all decided to come get their portraits taken to support me and get me started financially. Sweet, huh?” he remembers fondly as you continue to admire the heart-warming joy on the faces of everyone you know.

“Really sweet.”

Looking at their happy expressions, you feel a mixture of fondness and melancholy pang in your heart. All of these people who have loved and looked after you at some point in your life, facing you now with such elation…

Though you can’t quite explain why, it makes you sad to think of them all continuing to live happily without you while you were gone. It’s not that you want them to have spent the time miserable or anything, but you can’t help feeling like you’ve missed out on a happiness that you had always been a part of.

You think back on the photos that have been taken of you over the last six years and can’t imagine a single one where you are smiling as genuinely as any of the people here. You’ve had to force a smile on your face for long enough that it felt normal, but seeing these portraits puts your thoughts into a different perspective, especially considering their backstory.

“They really did all that for you?” you ask not because you don’t believe it, but because it is difficult to comprehend such a beautiful act of kindness that shows just how much the people of this town care for each other.

“Yeah. The perks of small town living, everyone is basically one giant family.”

“Right. You definitely wouldn’t see something like this in the city…” You wonder if Hongjoong can pick up on the sadness behind your words or the way your face has fallen. He steps up right next to you and looks down in concern, signifying he must have noticed.

“You haven’t made any friends there? I’m sure they would do a similar thing for you,” he coos in an attempt to comfort you, but you just sigh as a frown continues to decorate your face.

“I have a few, but that’s not what I mean. This kind of community. This kind of connection…” You pause as you try to think of what it is you mean to say. “When I’m there, it feels as though I could disappear into thin air and no one would notice. No one would care. I have no place there. Not like you all have a place here.”

The impact of your honest words only hits you as you hear them escape your own mouth. You never fully realized the degree of dissatisfaction you have been living with until this moment in which the truth that you’ve been ignoring has begun clawing its way out of the depths of your mind and into fruition. Somehow speaking these grievances out loud immediately makes them feel exponentially more real.

It doesn’t help that, right above the sofa, there are a few smaller, blurrier pictures hanging that catch your attention. As you step in front of them to get a better look, your heart practically cracks in half at what you find.

“Oh, those are just… some old pictures,” Hongjoong mumbles awkwardly, unsure of how to address this entire situation. 

In each of the small frames sits an image of you two, the timing ranging all the way from childhood up until the day you left for college. In each of them, by his side, you look truly happy… and so does he.

You carefully remove one from the wall and sit down on the couch to stare at it. Behind the layer of glass is the same image of you two at graduation that you had been admiring just last night, your face painted in joy as you laugh at Hongjoong. The very same man, though now grown up, takes a seat directly next to you and peeks at the picture as well.

Despite the embarrassment he is feeling from you discovering his little montage of fond memories, his heart is starting to ache at how quickly your mood has sunk since entering the room. He can tell just how much sadness you are carrying, and he can’t help but feel it as if it’s his own. After all, you two have always been so intensely connected that you share each other’s pain just as much as you share your happiness.

Seeing you move to the city, despite always knowing that day would come, was one of the darkest times of his life. But, being the supportive and caring friend (or whatever it is that you two are) that he is, he never once let you know just how badly he wished you would stay. He has always made it a priority to put your happiness and your dreams first because, even though he has never said anything, it has always been you.

Everything in his life has forever centered around you, including his heart– no, especially his heart. He has known that he loves you since before he can ever remember. As kids, he knew that he loved being with you and being friends, but it was only once he got older that he fully realized the depth of his feelings and what “being in love” truly meant. Even as a young teen, he was sure that this was the only word that could describe his affection for you, and he has always been pretty damn sure that you feel the same way too. 

At the same time, however, you had already been dreaming of an urban lifestyle for a long while, taking any opportunity you could get to gush about your future endeavors. The question of whether or not to approach your shared feelings plagued him for years, but he knew that crossing that line would possibly keep you from pursuing the new life you’ve always wanted. Hongjoong, sometimes far too mature for his age, refused to be the one thing holding you back from happiness. If you wanted to move to the city and live that glamorous life, then that is what he wanted for you too. 

As a result, he resolved to never push the boundaries of your relationship unless you were the one to initiate it. He would only allow himself the pleasure of being with you if that is what you decided that you wanted. That doesn’t mean it didn’t kill him every day to hold back, though.

Seeing you like this, he wants nothing more than to scoop you up in a giant hug, kiss your forehead, and tell you anything and everything that will make you smile again, but maybe that is pushing a bit too far. Instead, he chooses to address your notion of having no place, the idea of you truly believing no one cares upsetting him immensely.

“You know, you have a place here too. Not just ‘us,’” he calmly assuages you, though it just makes your heart ache more.

“Not anymore. I left.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t come back.”

“After spending my whole life talking about how I’m going to make it big in the city? I may not be succeeding in life right now, but to become that big of a failure…”

“It’s not failure,” he interjects with authority, causing you to finally look up at him. “Changing your mind and choosing what makes you happy doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you really brave, actually.”

When you fail to respond, he worries that he may have been too forward and quickly back pedals.

“I’m not saying you have to come back. What you want to do with your life is up to you. It’s just that you don’t seem… happy.”

His words hit you like a truck, as well as the realization that follows.

You don’t seem happy?

No, you aren’t happy.

You aren’t happy that you chose to move to the city. You aren’t happy that you so easily let Hongjoong leave your life. You aren’t happy that you’ve settled for dissatisfaction for the past six years. You aren’t happy that you are now here next to the person who makes you happiest, in the place that makes you happiest, only now realizing that you aren’t fucking happy.

And in this moment, you’re curious as to whether he isn’t happy about it either.

“Joong?”

“Hm?”

Although he doesn’t show it, his heart beats at a mile per minute in anticipation of what could possibly be going on in your mind. Even though he can usually read you like a book, there are times when your formidable silence causes anxiety to course through his veins and occupy his every thought in trying to decipher your emotions.

“When you said you have regrets– things you would do differently… what exactly were you talking about?”

Here it is. The moment you’ve always dreaded would come in which one of you finally addresses the unspoken depths of your relationship– finally makes it known that you’ve both been skirting around this delicate subject all along. You never thought you’d be the one to do it, and yet here you are.

Hongjoong’s mind is a flurry of chaos as he registers exactly what you are alluding to, trying to decide whether or not he should admit the truth that you’ve both left ignored. His mind flashes back to the moment he spotted you yesterday and the rush of emotions that instantly flowed through his body. It was as if the past six years he spent trying to let you go meant nothing as you reappeared in his life like flowers once again blooming after a long, hard winter. Even through his awkwardness and anxiety during that first interaction, he could feel the same familiar comfort that only you could provide, a comfort that makes him feel safe and loved.

Now, sitting here as you watch him expectantly, he can’t bear the thought of letting you go again. Just imagining it has him feeling like someone has reached into his chest and ripped out his beating heart. If you hate the city as much as you appear to, would it really be so bad if he finally allowed you both to explore this thing between you? Would he really be keeping you from anything if it’s a life you’ve already explored and, supposedly, don’t like? Even if you haven’t directly said that you want him, surely you wouldn’t bring this matter up if you didn’t want to hear his honest answer.

Hongjoong looks like a deer in headlights at your question as he contemplates his reply, and you are about to take it all back.

Fuck it, he ultimately thinks to himself, speaking before you can retract your query.

“You,” he states simply, a more confident expression appearing on his face as he has collected himself and realized it is now or never. Your eye contact never breaks and you can hear the sound of your heart pumping against your chest. His hand even rises to cup your blushed cheek, his touch sending sparks of electricity through your body.

“The one thing I would do differently… I would go back and be selfish. Let you know that you leaving tore me apart inside. Let you know how I really feel about you– how I’ve always felt about you. I would do everything possible to stay in contact with you, no matter how much it hurt.”

“Joong…”

“I wouldn’t wait until I’ve already lost you to realize just how badly I need you.”

His thumb gently rubs back and forth against your cheek as he speaks more eloquently and sincerely than you’ve ever heard him before. Tears burn at the corners of your eyes, but you refuse to let them spill.

“Joong, you haven’t lost me,” you murmur softly.

His eyes search yours for a split second before he is leaning in–oh god he is leaning in. Your limbs are instantly frozen as your brain struggles to process the dramatic turn of events in the past few minutes, your mind in an absolute state of confusion and chaos as he gets closer. For the first time ever, he presses his lips gently against yours, and it is enough to shock your system awake.

A split second later, you are shooting up from your position on the couch. Hongjoong follows your lead in a panic, his face flushed from the kiss.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–”

“No– It’s not– I just– I just… need to think,” you stammer with difficulty while trying to look at anything but him.

In your moment of fight or flight, you quickly set down the frame you were holding and rush out the door towards the exit. You can hear Hongjoong following you outside and onto the sidewalk. When you continue past his car, and in the direction of your house, he calls after you.

“Y/N! Just let me drive you home!”

“No, it’s okay. I’m going to walk… and think. I need to just think.”

You feel awful leaving him with such an anxious expression on his face, but you turn and keep walking anyway, driven solely by autopilot like some kind of robot programmed to escape emotionally turbulent situations. Of all the things you imagined happening today, this was not something you foresaw: the weight of the world crashing down upon your shoulders as you realize how much you hate the life you’ve made for yourself, only to finally dive headfirst into the feelings you’ve always harbored for Hongjoong just moments after.

It is overwhelming to say the very least.

~

A few hours later, as the sun is just beginning to set, you pull up to the secluded spot by the lake where Hongjoong’s car is already parked. You two used to hide away here all the time as teenagers, where no one was ever able to find you. Together, you’d discovered the little opening long ago and made it a point to keep it a strict secret, a place where it would only ever be the two of you. Hongjoong has also regularly used the space as a little getaway where he does all his thinking, much like how you stargaze from your rooftop. That is exactly why you knew you would find him here.

After running off earlier in the day, you spent a few hours just trying to process everything you are feeling and what it all means. Your poor parents were once again mystified at your odd behavior as you locked yourself away to think, but you’ve ultimately come to many realizations and conclusions that you should’ve acknowledged years ago. With your thoughts in order, your next priority is to visit your best friend and sort out the whole situation that you’ve created. You’re sure he must be feeling just as unsettled as you were after the events of this afternoon.

As you park next to his SUV, you see Hongjoong’s silhouette seated by the edge of the water. He doesn’t need to turn around and look to know it is you, so he just waits as you approach him, the only sounds being the crunching leaves under your feet and the crickets singing in the distance. You sit to his left where there is room on the small blanket he uses to keep his pants from getting dirty. A cold breeze rustles the trees and you pull your jacket even tighter around your body. The warm hues of the sunset cast his features in subtle hints of pinks and oranges, causing you to momentarily admire his beauty even though the tense air has your chest feeling tight.

“Figured I’d find you here. Mind if I join?” you ask, echoing his words from last night in an attempt to lighten the mood. He glances over and offers you a small smile, but you can clearly see the anxiety still resting in his face.

“Technically, you’ve already joined,” he replies in jest, bumping his shoulder against yours lightly to show that he doesn’t actually mind. You turn your gaze back to the water so it’s easier for you to speak. If you could still see every minute change in his expression, you aren’t sure you’d be able to say what you’ve been pondering for the last few hours.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” your murmur as your fingers fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you.”

He sighs. “I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have said anything and especially shouldn’t have done anything without your permission–”

“No, Joong, it’s not that.” You can feel his stare burning holes into your skin, but you still can’t bring yourself to look over. His silence prompts you to continue. “It was just a lot for me, all at once. About the city stuff, I just started acknowledging a lot of things that I’d ignored for so long, and it was obviously overwhelming to suddenly realize that you hate the life you’ve chosen. I mean, I’ve spent my whole life working towards and dreaming of the glamor of the city so it kind of feels–and I don’t even know if this makes sense–but it feels like part of my identity. I’ve placed myself on this path and deviating from it felt almost like a betrayal… or a failure.”

“You already know what I think about that,” he mumbles in response to your last statement.

“I know, I know. Objectively I can see that it doesn’t necessarily make me a failure, but it’s hard to not feel that way.” Hongjoong hums in understanding, staying mostly quiet to let you say what you need to. Nonetheless, half of his mind continues to worry about when you’ll address his confession.

“I realized I’ve spent my whole life thinking I would be someone that, in reality, I’m just not. As much as I’d love to be that person who thrives in the fast-paced, achievement-oriented world, that isn’t what actually made me happy. I spent so much time dreaming about a new life that I didn’t even stop to realize that I was already happy here, where people know and care about me.”

You smile up at the glowing pink clouds in the distance, surprisingly at peace with your realizations after spending hours thinking them through (and perhaps freaking out for a number of those hours, but that is beside the point).

“I guess, subconsciously, that’s why I never came back to visit until I was forced to. Maybe some part of me knew I would remember how life used to be filled with so much joy and love, so I just pushed everything away that reminded me of this town. Including you. Which wasn’t fair.”

“Does that mean you’re moving back?” Hongjoong tries not to get his hopes up too much as he asks the question, but he can’t hide the excitement in his voice. You spent a long time considering this question once you came to terms with all your feelings about the last six years, but the answer seems both incredibly simple and incredibly complicated at the same time.

“I think I want to, but what would I do here? I can’t just come back and mooch off my parents.”

Even if your parents would be fine with it, your pride won’t allow you to take that big of a step back after living on your own for so long. Although you are pretty damn sure by now that you want to come home, there are a lot of logistics that you need to take into account.

“You could do the same thing you’ve always dreamed of: open up a little cafe with the best coffee in town. Just do it here instead of there.” Joong forces himself to keep from blabbering on about how he knows the perfect spot just a couple buildings down from his studio, the people you could contact to get it remodeled, where to find some good discounted furniture, and more. No matter how desperately he wants you to come back, he refuses to pressure you into anything.

Opening up shop here isn’t something you’d even thought about since you’d always been so stuck on your vision of a busy backstreet cafe, but starting a business here would actually make a lot of sense. Of course, it would take a lot of work and monetary investment, but considering how the community helped Hongjoong in his photography career, you are sure that they wouldn’t let you fail either. Having that sense of support as a foundation makes the idea seem all the more appealing.

“Do you think I’d be able to do it?” you ask for the last boost of confidence you need to make up your mind.

“As cliche as it sounds, I think you can do anything you set your mind to.” You chuckle at just how cheesy he is. “It wouldn’t be easy, for sure, but you already know that everyone here would do anything they can to help you. And I may not know a ton about business, but I can offer my services as well. I’d do whatever it is you need to make you happy.”

Your cheeks burn at his suave words. Even if he didn’t mean to sound so romantic, his statement has you melting. How could you have ever let him leave your life?

From the fluttering of your heart, you remember that there is one other unresolved issue that you two have yet to discuss.

“Joong?”

The sound of your voice immediately suggests where this conversation is going. Hongjoong feels as though his heart has stopped beating and his breath silently catches in his throat. He had almost forgotten the main reason he was so anxious to talk to you in the first place, but now he can tell what is coming next. The tension in his chest only gets worse once you turn to look at him with earnest eyes.

“What you said earlier…” you start, a blush coming to your face from saying this out loud. “Did you really mean it?”

“Would I joke about something like that?” You know he wouldn’t, but you want to hear him confirm it.

“That’s a cop out. Yes or no,” you push.

“Yes, of course I meant it. Every word.” Hongjoong’s racing heart thumps wildly against his chest despite the cool attitude he is attempting to display.

“Why didn’t you bring it up back then? Before I left?”

“I never wanted to be the person who held you back from your dreams,” he admits, surprising you slightly. You thought maybe he was just too afraid or didn’t want to risk your friendship, but this…

“What do you mean?” He exhales and finally turns his face away from yours, the eye contact becoming too intense for him to maintain while also discussing this topic.

“I was afraid that by bringing up… us, you might not try living the life you’ve always wanted. Telling you how I felt, knowing it would make it hard for you to leave, just felt like a selfish thing to do,” he admits in all honesty. He rubs his hands against his jeans as he continues, too antsy to hold still. “When you asked me that question earlier, I just couldn’t imagine letting you go a second time. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again.”

You can feel your eyes welling with tears from hearing just how much he truly cares for you, enough to put his own happiness aside and whole-heartedly support your dreams even when they didn’t include him.

“So you’ve felt it too?” you ask timidly as you both gaze at each other once again. You’ve always known the answer to this question, but hearing him say it out loud is something entirely different, a tipping point that neither of you will be able to turn back from. You don’t even need to clarify what you’re asking because Hongjoong just knows.

“How could I not?” he scoffs, the answer seeming obvious to him. “But I’ll never pursue anything that you don’t want.”

“Who said I don’t want it?” You aren’t sure where your sudden brazenness comes from. Perhaps you are just surprised he hasn’t stopped to consider just how much you care for him too, even if you made some mistakes along the way.

Hongjoong blinks a few times in confusion. “But earlier, you ran off when I…”

“Joong, it really was just because it was a lot to process all at once. It isn’t because I don’t feel the same way about you.”

Hongjoong feels like his heart has swollen to ten times its normal size as his anxiety over the earlier interaction is quelled. And now to hear you finally confirm your own feelings for him, he thinks he must be on cloud nine.

You gently reach over and take his hand in yours, the sensation familiar except for the (now overtly) romantic context. His warm skin heats your frozen fingertips that have continued to get chillier as the sun has tucked itself away beyond the horizon.

“It has always been you,” you explain softly. “I always knew you were my person– my soulmate– but I was afraid to acknowledge that it was love for a long time. The answer seemed so obvious, but also so uncertain and scary.”

“Do I scare you?” he jokes, flashing his blinding smile in your direction as you laugh and roll your eyes. It is relieving to have the serious tension washed away.

“As if you could scare anyone,” you scoff. “I was afraid of– I don’t know– ruining our friendship, I guess. You never approached it, so I just ignored it too.”

You gaze at your intertwined hands as your thumb strokes his skin softly. “Earlier today, when I was questioning everything I’ve ever wanted, the only thing I never questioned was wanting you.”

“Yeah?” 

You give him a timid nod. Hongjoong seems to get even more nervous as he clears his throat and plays with your fingers restlessly. “Now that we both know, what are we going to do about it?”

Compared to earlier, when he boldly laid his heart out in front of you and made the first move, he is now much more shy. You can tell his stomach is erupting with butterflies, just like yours is, and it is honestly adorable. Your eyes flit back up to his face and you see his blushing cheeks under the fading light. He looks so perfect like this and there is only one thing you want to do.

Before you can overthink it, you boldly reach around to the back of his neck and pull him closer to connect his soft lips with yours. After a moment of surprise, he returns the kiss whole-heartedly, his hands resting on the sides of your face as he holds you near. You melt into each other’s embrace, the kiss entirely different from earlier. Instead of being shrouded in uncertainty and confusion, it now feels like you have finally found something that has always been missing. It just feels right. 

From the way your lips move in perfect time to the warmth that fills your heart, Hongjoong feels like home in every way possible. All of the worries you’ve dealt with in the past 24 hours, perhaps even the past six years, fade away at the comfort of having him in your arms, where he plans to stay forever.

As you get lost in the sensation, your kisses get more desperate and heated. Hongjoong has no problem matching your pace, though, when he has already waited over 24 long years for this moment. Your hands get a little excited in roaming his body, feeling down the expanse of his broad shoulders and toned chest. You never allowed yourself to fantasize about being this physical with him, but now it’s as if the floodgates have opened and you want nothing more than to be all over him.

When your hand just barely slips under the hem of his sweater and makes contact with his skin, he gasps at the chill of your fingertips and separates your lips. His hands are still pressed against your cheeks as he caresses your skin. You simply peer into each other’s eyes, a hungry look enough for you both to understand what’s going to happen.

With a playful giggle, you shoot up from your spot on the ground and start jogging towards his car. Halfway there, you glance back to find him still seated.

“Are you coming or not, slow poke?” you call out, breaking him of his daze. It takes only seconds for him to bolt up and over to you, grabbing your hand and tugging you along the rest of the way with a giddy smile on his face.

“Hold on,” he commands as he jets from one side of the car to the other, rapidly folding down the backseats of his SUV to create one big, flat area in the back of his car. Your body tingles with excitement at the sight. He has already climbed inside when he reaches his hand out to you. “Are you coming or not, slow poke?”

You roll your eyes at his cheekiness and follow his lead, albeit a bit ungracefully. Within moments, you two are all over each other once again, hands roaming freely as he guides you to lay back against the floor of the vehicle. It is by no means comfortable, but you can’t bring yourself to be bothered by the stiff surface, not when all of your senses are being entirely consumed by Hongjoong and the heat radiating from his body.

He hovers over your form, one hand keeping his weight from crushing you while the other follows the curve of your torso down to your waist, where his fingers dig into your flesh needily. Feeling desperate, he grinds his hips against yours, eliciting a moan from both your mouths at the pleasurable friction. Only when your hands grip at the hem of his sweater and start to pull it off does he break the kiss and grab your wrist to keep you still for a moment. He gazes down at you softly and you wonder why he stopped.

“Are you sure you want to move this fast? You don’t usually sleep with guys so quickly, or at least you didn’t before. And it’s me, so I don’t know if that changes things…” he babbles somewhat awkwardly, wanting to make sure you have thought this through.

You grin at his concern and press a quick peck to his cheek. “Joong, it’s because it’s you that I want to move this fast.”

He blushes beet red as the corners of his lips perk up.

“Are you okay with this?” you ask, not wanting to pressure him into anything.

He simply scoffs. “Is that even a question?”

With that, he is sitting up and pulling his top off in one fluid motion. You’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times in your life, but this is different. Not only has his body become more toned and mature, just the thought of this sight being all yours from now on has your pussy aching for attention. You can’t help but reach out to run your fingers down his abdomen, admiring the goosebumps that raise on his skin from your featherlike touch. Your hand settles on his belt buckle and you give it a good tug, pulling him back down to press your lips against his.

“Fuck, that was hot,” he pants through hungry kisses.

His nimble hands make quick work of your jacket and shirt, only breaking away from you when he has to. As he goes to unclasp your bra, you fumble with his belt buckle, reaching into his pants to palm him over his boxers as soon as you get it open. He groans at the sensation, his cock already hard in its confines.

“Excited?” you tease as he removes your bra entirely, leaving your top bare. He smirks haughtily as he tweaks your pebbled nipples and evokes a small gasp from you.

“You act as if I won’t find you already soaking wet for me when I slip these jeans off,” he purrs before bringing his lips down to suck on one of your breasts.

Hearing such filthy words coming from his mouth for the first time has you reeling and a moan unknowingly escapes you. He glances up with a look that clearly reads “that’s what I thought.”

God you never knew he could look this hot. From the lecherous glint in his eyes to the controlled dominance in his tone, everything about this man is driving you absolutely crazy. Still, his challenging statement has you wanting to provoke him just a bit more. 

“You think I’m that easy, Joong?”

He chuckles at your instigation while he now focuses on swiftly stripping your bottom half. 

“Not easy,” he coos as you lift your hips so he can remove your jeans and underwear. “Just horny.”

Your heart races as he gently spreads your legs apart and gazes down at your needy sex. He bites his lip at the sight and curses under his breath. A mixture of excitement and embarrassment settles in your gut from being so exposed. Here you are, laid out bare for your best friend–now more– to feast his eyes upon. It is almost too much to handle, your heart fluttering wildly at the scene playing out before you.

Hongjoong wastes no time in lowering himself onto his stomach so that his face hovers just inches from where you crave him most.

“You’re even prettier than I imagined.”

He wants nothing more than to dive right into you and never again be separated from your perfect pussy. Needing to prove a point, however, he runs his middle finger up the length of your slit, smirking as he sees it glisten in the dim moonlight.

“Who’s the excited one now?” he taunts, usurping the upper hand in this battle of wills.

Before you can quip back at him, he is licking a flat stripe along your cunt, his tongue stopping as it meets your clit to suck it past his soft lips. You moan erotically from the sensation and your back arches, only to be pushed back down by Hongjoong’s firm hands. He begins lapping at your sensitive bud, causing you to reach down and grip at his locks. The sting in his scalp only spurs him on.

“So good,” you whimper pathetically, all thoughts of denying just how badly you want him now gone out the window. When his tongue flicks against you just right, you gasp. “Fuck, why are you so good at this?”

He just smirks against you and glances up to meet your eyes with a puppy dog look that would scream pure innocence if it weren’t for the fact that half his face is obscured by your needy pussy, which he devours like a man starved for a thousand years. Your praise, combined with the euphoria painted on your face, has him dying to please you even more, so he brings his hand down to your hole and easily slips his middle finger inside. He curls it up to rub along that certain spot inside you and your toes instantly curl in pleasure.

Small droplets of water run down the car’s windows from how foggy it has become, neither of you having to worry about the cold outside since you’ve practically turned Hongjoong’s vehicle into a sauna through your body heat. In fact, it is almost too warm for comfort, beads of sweat forming at your brow, but neither of you pay it any mind.

“More, please,” you mewl feebly.

Like the gentleman he is, Hongjoong obliges by adding another finger along with his first and dragging them languidly against your walls. His tongue never lets up its movement, switching between sucking and lapping at your clit as you grip his hair hard enough to keep from floating off to heaven. As you moan his name, his fingers pick up their pace and you can feel the knot in your core tightening. Your soaking pussy makes a lewd squelching sound as he continues and you immediately feel embarrassed, but the way that Hongjoong groans so obscenely in response to the noise clues you in to how much he likes it, thus washing away your trepidation. The pleasure is overwhelming, and you can’t help but buck your hips against his face, especially when you notice him grinding against the floor of the car in an attempt to alleviate some of his own neediness. 

“Gonna cum for me, baby?” he slurs as he hears your shameless whimpers and feels you clenching harder around his digits.

As tempting as it is, you don’t want to cum just yet, so you use your hold on his hair to pull him off of your sex. His fingers automatically stop as well as he looks up at you in confusion.

“You okay?” The worry is palpable in his voice and you can tell he thinks he’s done something wrong. 

“I’m fine, Joong. I just want to cum with you in me,” you explain, your brain fogging at the vulgar sight of his glistening lips and chin.

“Fuck you’re killing me.” Your filthy request, and your obvious desperation for his body, has him melting like putty in your hands.

He pulls his fingers from your hole and makes a show of licking them clean, his eyes never leaving yours as you watch with bated breath. As he releases his digits with a pop, you can’t take it anymore. You spring up from the floor, kissing him passionately as you guide him to lay down on his back. Your diligent hands take no time in removing the rest of his clothing, his cock springing free as you slip off his bottoms.

“Holy shit,” you curse emphatically as you take in his impressive size. “You’ve been walking around with that thing between your legs this whole time?”

“Well it’s not like I got it installed last week,” he chuckles as he strokes his length casually. You don’t even bother acknowledging his joke. You are simply too desperate to have him inside you to waste any more time on fun and games.

You swing your leg over to straddle Joong, grabbing the base of his dick to help position it at your hole. As you look down at him, he nods minutely, as if approving of this final line that you two are crossing. In response, you start to slowly sink down on his cock, your pussy wet enough to make the process easier despite his overwhelming size.

“Oh my god,” you gasp with your mouth agape as you fit him entirely inside. You’ve never felt more full, and you can tell Hongjoong feels just as good by the elongated moan that he lets out. “You’re so fucking big.”

“And you’re so fucking tight.”

He lets you take a minute to adjust as you feel your walls flutter spastically to accommodate him. His hands rest on your hips, rubbing small circles into your skin as he bites his lip and waits for you to take the lead. Only when you start to move on your own does he assist you in grinding down on his length. A stuttered groan escapes him and your head falls back as you bask in the feeling of his dick pressing into all the right places.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this,” he purrs as the car rocks with your movement.

The thought of him having fantasized of this scene before has your core clenching. You wonder how many nights he stayed up imagining you underneath him, filling you up perfectly and pleasing you just as you deserve. Your (previously) seemingly innocent best friend must have touched himself a thousand times to the thought of your desperate moans begging for more as he stretches out your tight cunt, only to then face you each day as if he didn’t spend each evening with you running around his mind while his hand was down his pants.

“Did your dreams feel as good as this?”

“Nothing feels as good as this.”

He playfully smacks your ass and, in an effort to satisfy him even more, you switch to bouncing on his thick cock. The car squeaks in protest with each meeting of your hips, but the breathtaking pleasure is immediate. Joong, who consistently lets out unabashed moans, intertwines your fingers with his so that he can support your movements. Using your held hands as leverage, you increase your speed and intensity.

Hongjoong watches you with his bottom lip between his teeth as you get lost in the pleasure and pathetic whines fall from your mouth. He becomes transfixed by the way your tits bounce so pornographically in time with how you fuck yourself on his dick, your soft flesh looking so deliciously pliant from this angle. As his hands move back to your hips to urge you on, he even admires the small divots in your skin created by his fingers. Everything about you just seems so incomprehensibly perfect at this moment.

Eventually, your pace starts to falter as your thighs burn with exhaustion and Hongjoong takes that as his cue. You yelp in surprise as he uses his strength to swing you to the side and onto your back, once again positioning himself above you. Your hands rest on his shoulders as he pauses for a moment to just marvel at your beauty.

“I can’t believe this is finally happening,” he admits shyly despite the fact that his cock is still plunged deep in your pussy.

“How can I make you believe it?” You peck along his jawline before meeting his lips for a much slower, more romantic kiss.

“Cum for me.”

He once again begins lazily pumping his dick in and out of your cunt, your nails digging into his shoulders from the feeling.

“Harder, please,” you fuss impatiently.

Hongjoong smiles to himself at how adorable he finds you when you pout, but quickly submits to your request by beginning to pound roughly into you. Even though you asked for it, the force behind the snapping of his hips takes you by surprise, causing you to let out a gasp that turns into a high-pitched moan. He sucks a hickey into the sensitive spot on your neck as you wrap your legs around his waist and listen to the sound of his pleased groans.

The knot in your core is again tightening from his unrelenting assault on your pussy and Joong can feel you clenching desperately around his cock. He sits back on his knees and uses his hands to push your legs up against your chest, effectively folding you in half, before continuing his absolutely brutal pace. From this angle, he perfectly hits your g-spot with every thrust. Spots dance in your vision from the mind-boggling pleasure and you can tell that your climax is just moments away.

“Hold your legs, baby,” Hongjoong commands as he also senses your impending orgasm.

Though your limbs feel like jelly, you somehow manage to grip the backs of your knees, keeping yourself in place as Joong lets one hand go to rub furious circles against your clit. Your toes curl as your muscles tense instinctively, your body sent into overdrive by his expertise.

“Holy– fuck– Joong–” you pant through forceful thrusts.

“Let go, baby,” he purrs. “Cum.”

His indecent demand is the last straw that sends you over the edge, your legs shaking as your high washes over your body. Your mind goes completely blank and his name falls from your lips like a mantra as the euphoria seems to last for hours.

Hongjoong can barely keep pumping into you with how tightly you constrict around him. His own orgasm isn’t far off, and after a few more thrusts into your fluttering hole, he is pulling out and spilling his seed over your stomach with a moan.

As you both start to come down from the bliss of your climaxes, you slowly let your aching legs back down and Joong lays down next to you. Both of you fight to catch your breath and slow your racing hearts. Eventually, Hongjoong grabs one of his socks from where it was strewn earlier and uses it to clean his cum off your skin. You giggle at sight and rest your head against his chest the moment he is done.

“That was–”

“Amazing,” he finishes, to which you agree.

“And to think that 24 hours ago you were trying to shake my hand when we met again like some kind of diplomat.” He chuckles at the memory and his cheeks redden even more than they already have.

“Leave me alone,” he gripes childishly, though his tone clearly indicates that he isn’t genuinely upset about it. “I didn’t know what to do and I panicked.”

You laugh at his embarrassment, the joy of teasing him truly never getting old. “I just can’t believe how fast this happened.”

He scoffs in disbelief. “How fast? Baby, this didn’t take 24 hours to happen, this took 24 years.”

He has a point, but a different part of his statement occupies your attention.

“Call me that again.”

“What? Baby?”

“Mm hmm.”

He grins mischievously to himself. “You like that, baby?”

You nod and timidly burrow further into his chest as he snickers and pets your hair lovingly. You wish you could just stay like this forever, frozen in time with his arms around you and your skin pressed flush against his.

“You know we’re going to be the talk of the town now, right?” he sighs.

“I don’t know. We might be beat out by the possible library haunting. Sounded pretty serious if you ask me.” His chest vibrates as he laughs, the sound like music to your ears.

A comfortable silence settles between you, a stark contrast to the awkward tension that clouded your interaction just yesterday. Although it technically took 24 years in total to get together, the process of falling back into Hongjoong after being away was undoubtedly rapid and passionate. It seems wild how much your life has changed for the better and how much happier you already are after spending so little time here. And, even though things in your life are more unsettled and unsure than ever before, you somehow feel the most at peace and comforted that you ever have, but apparently that is what coming home will do to you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Taglist: @minkysmilk @annaflwrs @han8ul @whatudowhennooneseesyou @aishidaishi

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hi! I read your pain management stories often and I'm also a nurse but not in the US so I'm just wondering if you could explain a bit more about it? Like what type of patients do you usually have? Do they come directly from surgery and if so, don't they get something like an iv morfine or fentanyl pump they can use for the first 24 hours before switching to oral meds (like acetaphetmine, NSAID and aditional opiods)? Or do you get patients with like advanced diseases that are having a breakthrough pain crisis?

I’m a float pool nurse, so I don’t have a unit in the hospital, I go to whatever med surg floor is short. So I get all types of pain! Post-surgical, end of life, sickle cell, old back pain suddenly exacerbated by hospital beds, chronic pain patients coming in for unrelated reasons, people with new strokes experiencing muscle aches from immobility, chemo neuropathy—I think I’ve had almost everything except labor and postpartum. So I’ve seen a really wide variety of pain management orders from providers. The main patients I’ve seen get opioid drips have been people in sickle cell crises, I don’t see them commonly for post surgical patients. I can only speak for my limited experience at one hospital, but it’s really hard to get those.

I was actually just talking to a patient about this the other night. Ten years ago, they had a surgery and had a PCA pump afterwards (for non healthcare people, that’s basically where you are hooked to an IV and when you need pain medication, you push a button and you get a dose). Then they had basically the same surgery this week, no PCA.

We do use IV opioids post surgically and then transition to orals. Some surgeons are liberal with the IV meds, some are like 0.2mg-0.6 mg every four hours and it’s like, first off very small dose, second off I can’t BELIEVE I’m gonna have to get a second nurse to witness me throw away 0.8mg of dilaudid every fuckin time I give this.

[fefairys]

was really challenging working the character limit here lol. by the last one i mean i would have been named [my dads name] the 6th, but since i was born a girl, i was given a completely different name, thus breaking the streak of that name

[merbear25]

hi mer!! thank you for answering my last request, its lovely as always 💕

im bothering you with another ask of crocodile - san (can you tell hes my favorite, hehe?)

could i ask for hcs of him in bed / kink hcs with him, x transmale reader who is very compliant with whatever he wants, and they themselves prefer rougher sex?

hehe, thank you !!!!!

-🐊 anon ^_^

Hello, my lovely 🐊 anon! Thank you for sending this in and please bother me about whatever idea you have. I'm always happy to hear them. This man has quite the hold on you, doesn't he? 🤭 I can see why though, I mean...look at him! I hope I did your request justice and you like it 💜💜

CW: NSFW, MDNI, headcanons, transmale reader (includes both pre/post transition hcs), penetrative sex.

His little plaything (Crocodile)

Crocodile would be a very kinky man. He’d like to explore different avenues and interests in the bedroom, especially when he had someone so willinging to satisfy his every whim.

At first he wouldn’t push your limits too much, as he’d want to gradually explore what you could handle. Every twitch your body signaled, every time your face flushed from the building intensity, every desperate moan that passed your trembling lips: they were all part of the fun when it came to exploring your body.

When you whimpered, “Harder,” a cocky smirk stretched across his face.

“Be careful what you wish for,” his voice low and gravely.

If you didn’t have bottom surgery, he’d plough deep inside your walls, playing with your most sensitive bundle engorged at the top to ensure you unraveled on him quickly. However, feeling you come undone on him would only increase his hunger for you, wanting to push you over the edge again and again until you were begging him to stop.

If you did have bottom surgery, he’d tease your cock, edging you till you were begging for him to fuck you. Your pleas fueled his more sadistic nature. While he watched you huff and groan from your pent-up lust, he’d enter you from behind. Starting off gently to savor the way your body adapted to him, he’d pick up the pace to satiate his need to see your face stained with tears.

He’d want to eventually branch out and explore the kinkier side of things:

Role-play (mostly kept to a theme of abusing power), pet play (to have you crawling on all fours for him), slight humiliation kink (to be in awe of how deliciously pathetic you could be), and slight BDSM (some rough slaps, choking, and maybe a paddle). Ultimately, he’d want to ensure you were turned into a pitiful, whimpering mess.

Whether or not you were pre or post op wouldn’t matter when it came to giving you oral because he’d be so dead set on having you squirm either way.

Your cries of ecstasy fanned the flames of passion until they grew into a raging fire, and that was something he’d never tire of feeling when in bed with you.

[rapeculturerealities]

Reproductive rights elusive 1 year after Japan’s approval of abortion pill

Wider access to abortion in Japan has largely remained elusive a year after the historic approval of medical abortion pills.

In April last year, lawmakers approved the use of the two-step abortion pill — MeFeego Pack — for pregnancies up to nine weeks. Before that, women in the East Asian nation could only receive a surgical abortion in private clinics by designated surgeons that often charge as much as $370.

Financial strain aside, women were often required to provide proof of spousal consent to receive an abortion, making it nearly impossible for them to make the decision on their own. Reports showed that even for single women, doctors still asked for permission of a male partner before agreeing to perform such surgeries.

Despite the approval of the abortion pill, only 3% of all clinics with abortion services in Japan provide them a year after the pill’s approval, according to Kumi Tsukahara, independent researcher of reproductive health and rights, "and none of them have a Maternal Body Protection Law (MBPL) designated doctor," Tsukahara told VOA News.

Under the MBPL, the controversial requirement for spousal consent before a doctor can prescribe oral abortion medication still exists — it’s the same condition for gaining permission for a surgical abortion.

"Unfortunately, there are no signs of change with regard to either," the expert said.

[video-hole]

Okay soooo Terzo hcs when, nsfw solo but also just like random thoughts you have on him

HIII HI OKAY I HAVE A MILLION ..... nsfw in the down there part bc I'm embarrassed ⤵️ but I'll do general stuff up here:

worlds most transgender man. To me. post top surgery but has no plans on bottom surgery

he's canonically short and I think he prefers his partners like, absurdly taller than him. like. have to tilt your head up to look them in the eye absurd.

despite having a lot of partners, I think he's mostly aromantic, with omega being his one exception. other than him, I don't think he sees himself as wanting to be With anyone, and even with omega they're not like fully and wholly exclusive. romantically they don't really see a need to involve other people but they definitely both sleep around and neither of them care

I think he has a really big sweet tooth, pastries are his go-to but he also loves dark chocolate paired with anything.

on the topic of food - he's SUCHHH a wine snob it's a little excessive. will ask for the year of every wine at every establishment he ever dines out at, WILL swirl the glass and tell you about the "notes" and such. omega finds it endearing but his brothers find it annoying

again on the topic of food, I think he can cook very well, but he can't bake. (which sucks for him considering how much he loves sweets 😭) cooking is far more loose and fluid than baking, and while I think he appreciates getting down to detail he just doesn't have the patience baking can require of someone and it makes him mess things up.

I think he's a dog person... I feel like he gives cat person vibes to most people but. idk. maybe it's just cause I've interacted w so many different dog owners that I'm more inclined to think of ppl as dog ppl but. that's what I get off of him

I think he's a very talented writer, even outside of music. I'd imagine he has a nice prose

ok time for horny stuff. hiii freaks and weirdos

a switch, but a full time bottom. he might on very rare occasions whip out the strap but it is not with any regularity

size queen . glances at omega. need I say more

LOUD. it's hard for them to fuck in secret because terzo is a goddamn screamer

big time oral fixation. loves to be kissing, licking, or sucking something. but also wouldn't say no to being on the receiving end of any one of those things

SUPER sensitive, REALLY easy to get him riled up at a moment's notice. especially his neck and thighs..

barely has any limits at all. it kind of scares omega sometimes with how far he'll ask him to go, even knowing how hurt he could get (but he always gets what he wants anyway...)

[fakeboyslxt]

intro v1.1

hi!! it's really hard to start posting after so many years of read-only mode so i'll just leave some basic info here. english is not my first language so feel free to correct. i'm a 24 y.o. ft"m", 6 years on T, no surgeries yet. disclaimer: all kink-related stuff is pure fantasy if not stated otherwise. DNI: minors. if you are a genuine transphobe/TERF you can DM me but i'll treat you as kink material.

ko-fi page: xxx

TAGS: - #fkbslxt pics - my drawings - #ooc post - ooc - #fkbslxt irl - real life stuff (i may change some details for safety reasons)

KINKS: detrans, especially f0rced, cnc and dub-con, medical detransition, bioessentialism, breeding/pregnancy, degradation, painal, atm, blackmail

LIMITS: inc3st/fauxc3st, p3do, scat, vomit, intense pain, pet play, feeding, ddlg, performing oral on me

also i'm not interested in femdom, giving birth/mother role/lactation, enema, med play, racial play, rough objectification and "real x fake trans" kink

open to DMs but please state your intentions first. i'm usually happy to chat on different topics but not always in a mood for kinky interactions

[your-subby-creature]

Intro Post:

Hi! I finally remembered to make one of these, let me know if I missed anything :^)

Last updated: 09/02/24

——————————————————————

Basics

Names: Creature or Hal/Halogen

Age: 20

Pronouns: he/it/pet/they

Gender: Genderqueer Trans Man

Interested in: anyone of any gender, especially other queer and trans people <3

Relationship status: Relationship Anarchist, single

Role: Submissive Verse (leaning bottom)

DNI: Minors, Pedos (MAPS/NOMAPS/PEARS),bestiality/zeta, bigots of any kind or those who fetishize them, ED / weight blogs, self-harm (SH) blogs, no age in bio/pinned, anyone who doesn't believe that consent is always and forever the highest priority

Non-kinky interests: queer & trans community and history, art, crochet, baking, podcasts, nonfiction books, disability and neurodiversity, paganism, psychology, language/linguistics, history (I'll love you forever and also never shut up if you ask me about my research <3)

What I look like: Since I don't post or send pictures I should probably describe myself. I'm a white 5'0" (152.4 cm) fat and invisibly disabled guy. I'm entirely hairless due to an autoimmune condition (alopecia!), have grey eyes, and wear glasses.

DMs: Open

Asks: Open

Taken Emoji Anons: 🐑, 🍯🐾, ☆, ✨️,🎀, 🦴, 🐺🦊🐶, 🦊🕳, 📸

Tags: #Creature originals (original posts), #Creature responds (asks) #Creature scenes (based on scenes in dms or requested) #Creature rambles (misc thoughts), #Creature Studies (academia), #Creature polls (polls) #Creature denial (denial challenges) #puppy playtime saga continues (exactly what it sounds like)

——————————————————————

Kinks

Favorites: cnc, obedience, (cock)worship, control, praise, (loving) degradation, humiliation, objectification, hypnosis, free use, training, pet names, pain, impact, bruising/marking, cockwarming, discipline, sexual torture, ownership, oral fixation, dehumanization, boywife, petplay, orgasm control, body writing, domesticity, cages, corruption, experimentation/scientist kink, anal,

Soft limits: blood, detrans/misgendering, light choking or breathplay, heavy piss, light burning, kidnapping, rimming, needles, bratting, wet and messy, lactation, vomit, primal chasing, spitting in my mouth, heartbeat/cardiophilia

Hard limits: Raceplay, scat, abdl, bestiality/zeta, snuff/gore, pregnancy / birthing, sissification/feminization, hard breathplay, drowning, real incest, feederism, guns, fat fetishism, bald fetishism, SH fetishism, ED fetishism, farts/eprocto, abandonment, fuckpig, sub/sub competition, prolapse, ocular trauma

Presume anything not listed above is something I am neutral to / okay with. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

My body: I am on T but have not had any surgery. Acceptable terms include chest, tits, slit, cunt, pussy, hole, (t)cock, (t)dick, and ___parts (e.g. puppy parts or needy parts, etc.)

Terms: I love masculine, neutral, or objectifying terms! Anything that is not explicitly feminizing (eg good girl, princess) is fine; whore, slut, cunt, and bitch are alright. Do not call me slurs without asking. Never use the words annoying, worthless, useless, or pig(gy) in reference to me.

Safewords: For scenes and role-playing I tend to use the stoplight system (green/yellow/red), but if asked for a unique personal safeword, I use "Fluoride"

——————————————————————

Interacting

Pictures / Videos: DO NOT ASK ME FOR PICTURES OR VIDEOS. Presume that I will NEVER send them unless I initiate and explicitly ask your consent to send them. However, feel free to send me any pictures or videos of yourself or of things you find hot (as long as it's all legal and consensual and doesn't violate my limits.)

Audios: I MIGHT send audios with your consent during role-play through a Vocaroo link that I will delete once the scene ends. This is subject to my own judgement, but you are always welcome to ask. You are free to send any (legal, consensual, limit-abiding) audio whenever you'd like.

Calls: Presume that I WILL NOT call you (yes, even on platforms where I don't have to give out my number) unless I initiate and explicitly ask. This is due to privacy concerns and is non-negotiable.

Asks: Asks are open and I love them! I'll always try to answer them, unless they directly violate one of my limits or ask me to doxx myself in some way.

Messages: Anyone is free to message me! I will always try to respond unless it goes against one of my limits, and I reserve the right to stop messaging at any time. Feel free to role-play, scene with me, etc. You get one strike on misgendering me in messages (e.g. "good girl") before the scene immediately stops and you most likely get blocked.

Role-play, flirting, or scenes: Within the confines of my limits and the understanding that either of us can stop or revoke consent at ANY TIME, feel free to role-play, flirt, or scene with me. Please note: I am autistic and have a tendency to unmask during scenes where I'm being given orders to enact IRL. For me this means following certain patterns of typing, taking instructions literally, and requiring clear directions.

Meet-ups: I WILL NOT meet up with you. Non-negotiable.

[morethatyousaylessiknow]

Forget all the slow dancing, baby we can take it to the bathroom.

Transmasc!reader x Transmasc!

Terms used for reader and Copia are

Cunt, clit, dick, etc.

A/N: Oopsies anyway..This is my first time writing smut. Please for the love of god don’t bully me 😭

Warnings: Warnings: Finger-Fucking, afab!receiving oral (both ways implied.) Implied Thigh-crushing kink, kink, bondage (slightly), poorly translated Italian, implied choking, and use of sex toys due to the transgender boys not having bottom surgery.

In no time at all, you were pressed up against the sink in the bathroom. Papa Emeritus IV had you gripping the edges of the marble sink, his leather glove thrown onto the side counter. His hand was shoved down your jeans, rubbing furious circles into your swollen clit. You stared at your reflection, wondering how you got here. He tugged at your hair, making you look at yourself in the mirror.

“Look at yourself, Principe. So desperate for the touch of your papa.”

He only smiles behind you, before slipping his fingers fully into your slick-coated cunt. He pulls them out just as fast, running his tongue along his digits in an attempt to tease.

You only could groan, your thoughts becoming fuzzy as he continued to tease you through your tight jeans. One hand had a firm grasp around your neck, the other one rubbing against your core through your clothing. He flipped you around, so you were facing him.

“Good boy, Dolce. Do I have permission to eh- continue?”

He stumbles, his awkward demeanor still very present in his voice. You nod quickly, the tight feeling in your core tightening quickly.

“Fuck, Papa..”

You gasp as his fingers uncross the laces on your dress pants, only for him to realize you weren’t wearing boxers.

“God dammit, you truly are a filthy slut, huh? I like people who are bold, I’ll give you that-“

He snickers, picking you up and carrying you until you rest on his bed. He gets on his knees, pulling a grey shoe-box from under his bed. He pulls out a thick knot of red rope, glancing at you for your reaction.

You nod, anxious yet curious on what exactly he was going to do. He pulled your jeans off in one move, before glancing down once more at your face.

“Oh my gods, Copia please-“

You beg, as he ties your hands to his headboard. He backs away, now on his stomach in between your legs.

“I cannot wait to see how you taste, Rosebud.”

He smirks at the nickname, before diving between your legs and pressing a flat tongue against your dripping cunt.

is all you can muster, your thighs instinctively squeezing around his head. His eyes opened, green and white meeting your own gaze. His eyebrows knitted together as he moaned into your clit, his eyes rolling back and his hips jutting against the bed. You feel Copia’s hands snake around your thighs, gripping them as he continued drinking you down, licking and sucking at your swollen clit. It wasn’t too long before he pushed one of his hands through your thighs and into your hole, diligently working you to your limit. That knot in your stomach only got tighter, as you writhed against the restraints. As you squeezed tighter around his head and pulled his hair as he tongue-fucked you, his moans only grew rapid and his hips rolling against the bedsheets in an attempt to pleasure his neglected clit.

“Fuck, Copia.. I need to cum-“

You gasped, tears pricking at your eyes. He pulled your thighs away from his face, before kneeling between your legs.

“While I can’t fuck into you how I would like, I can give you a taste of what we can do.”

He sighed, unbuttoning his top and tossing it to the side, his torso becoming a quick attention-grabber. You stared at his T-scars, the 666 on his breast, the hair that trailed down to his untouched yet sopping cunt, everything. He groans, stripping himself of his jeans and boxers as he kneeled between your legs again.

“Tesoro, can I ask a favor of you?”

He tilts his head, running his hands up your hips.

“Yeah, whatever you want.”

He smiles, before undoing the restraints holding your hands from touching him.

“Can you return the favor, Caro Mio?”

You wasted no time, pushing his thighs apart and leaning your head down to taste his excitement for you.

You dive down between his thighs, sucking at his clit like a starving man. He grabs at your hair, forcing your tongue in his dripping wet cunt. “Yes Tesoro, oh fuck-”

You drill two fingers inside him, frantically pumping in and out of him. You run furious circles around his dick with your tongue, pulling more obscene noises from your beloved boyfriend.

“Good fucking boy, Baby. Taking my fingers so well.” You groan, his hips rolling to meet your face. He whines, his hips stuttering a moment. You land a harsh slap to his thigh, looking at the marks he put on you earlier and the ones you put on him. “Fuck, I’m gonna- I need to cum.” He crys out, and you feel a sudden tightness around your fingers. You get amusement out of this, as you grip his hips and lick against his dick. You get an idea, running slick circles into his slit as you look up at him. “If I let you cum now, you’re going to cum for me one more time after.”

He seems to take the offer, crying out as he’s yanked over the edge. You help him ride out that orgasm, before shoving your fingers down his throat so he could taste his own bittersweetness. “Fucking like that, whore? I’ll give you more, don’t worry.” You reach in the bedside drawer, pulling out two items. A purple vibrator, and a small towel. You place a light kiss against his earlobe, before whispering: “I’m going to make you cum so hard your wetness runs down your thighs.” He moans at that, before shoving his hands in your hair. You click on the purple toy, it vibrates in your hand. You look down at him, a slickness already covering his cunt. “So wet for me already, huh? I’m surprised you didn’t cum just from the sight of it.” You shove the toy into him, angling it to hit his sensitive areas over and over. He whimpers loudly, biting his lip. You land your mouth back on his overly sensitive dick, swirling around it with your tongue before giving it a nice suck. He moans, screaming your name loudly. “Shit- Shit..” You smile up at him, moving your hand a bit faster. “So fucking desperate, absolutley filthy.”

He groans, his hips stuttering. You remove your mouth from his clit, before going to bite along his jaw. You tease at his cunt with both the toy and your fingers, biting deeper onto his neck.

“You wanna finish so bad, don’t you? If you cum, I want to hear you loud and clear, got it?” He nods, panting and whimpering. You shove the toy against his deepest sensitive spot, before landing a harsh two-fingered slap to his dick, causing his orgasm to peak higher and ride out a bit longer. You watch his facial expressions closely, all while rubbing his thighs with your free hand. He lands his hands on his face, watching as he regains his mind.

“I can’t believe I let you do that.” He chuckles, covering his pink-painted face. He attempts to pull you down before you collapse to his side. You pull him close, petting his hair while you cuddle him. He sighs contently, before he loses consciousness in your arms.

"I Love you, Mio Cuore."