#Little old ladies

[pointless-letters]

“I agree with Maggie.” said Mrs Bunty Twelvetrees (81) today. “Whenever I go somewhere and offer an innocent comment on the rights of British natives and indigenous people, I’m made to feel unwelcome. What happened to free speech, eh?”

“I blame the coloureds.” she added later.

[txtsfrmth-morgue]

I was compelled to venture to church yesterday, and at one point I was standing on a bench, minding my business, when I hear the Phantom of the Opera Overture start playing—obviously someone’s ringtone—and of course I look directly at the cluster of youth closest to my line of sight like, “alright, which of you lil creatures is a theater junkie”, and lo and behold, it was a little old lady.

[burnsopale]

And now, in "things that happen in libraries", an elderly lady, plump and grandmotherly, came in and asked if we had on shelf the prophecies of Nostradamus. Proceeded to gush about how the man had predicted everything currently going on, including Putin, while I ordered the book from a different library and tried to keep my mouth shut.

Two days later, another elderly lady called and wanted the same book. She was surprised to hear we didn't have it, considering how current and relevant it is. Turns out the ladies were friends. Apparently this is what old ladies talk about over tea and cake in the year 2022.

[shvoowsh]

i hate disappointing little old ladies but i cannot control what the warehouse sends :/ pray for baby spinach yall

[lilcottoncandyheart]

Do you ever see pple and be like that's totally going to be me when am older?

Saw a little old lady with gray hair, glasses and a cute sweater with sparkly gems on it totally pastel cute style, and she was baby talking to a puppy and giving it love not caring what anyone may have thought and the dog was totally in love like he got a new bestie

Like yes that's going to be me someday... the little old lady baby talking to cute puppies still wearing cute pastels 💖

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

[obsob]

love is stored in the parallel play

[zombie-bait]

"old man yaoi" has become one of my new favourite phrases which is unfortunate because it is inappropriate in roughly 99% of real world scenarios

[willowser]

i don't think bakugou is that kind of useless dad that can't do anything without you helping him, but i do like the idea of him being a slightly frazzled new-ish dad 🥺

katsuki decides to take the baby with him on his run to the grocery store because you deserve a break, however small, and everything is fine, honestly, like. he can handle it.

but he is standing in line to checkout and there is drool on his shirt and his hair is a little messed up and sticky from being tugged on and he's got his items in one hand and baby on his hip.

your little girl has entered into that phase where she just likes hearing herself make noise, so she's clapping her hands together and just babbling, sometimes too loud, so loud that it attracts attention.

and katsuki is sort of bouncing her a little bit to keep her from getting squirmy, mumbling, "yeah, dah dah dah dah, i know," right to her ears only, giving curt nods to any of the older ladies in the store that coo over the sight of them.

[mushramoo]

I think they were attached at the hip tbh (also to help those destroyed by my last post, i would say I’m sorry but I will do it again >:)

[darthmalewife]

Cody is the type of guy to adopt an old, scraggly looking cat. He isn't going to, but then he hears someone in his building is moving, and they can't keep their cat, so either someone takes it or they get rid of it. And Cody reluctantly gets pressured into taking it.

And at first they're roommates, sometimes he talks to it like it's a person. "Ripley, where is my phone? C'mon old girl, you saw me with it."

But then the cat gets used to him, and suddenly, he sits at night watching TV with this cat sitting on the arm of the chair next to him. "You see that? Unrealistic. You'd have to stick the knife deeper for it to bleed that much." "Meow."

But then, one random night, he's had a bad day. He's frustrated and annoyed at everyone and everything. He's sitting with his feet up on the table in front of him, and he's scowling. Then these little paws start stepping across his abdomen, and he stares down at the cat in bewilderment as it curls up on his abdomen and falls asleep. He gives her a little scratch behind the ear, and she purrs rather loudly.

After that, it becomes a nightly tradition.

Eventually, she gets out of his apartment and finds her way to a kind stranger and befriends him. When this kind stranger brings her back, Cody and this kind, friendly, and rather handsome stranger start getting along. A couple of months later, Obi-Wan wakes up in Cody's bed to see Ripley, the little old lady, sitting on his chest staring him down.

[startheskelaton]

Mama Mothra

Based on the Mothra from the 1960’s film 🦋

[murderandcoffee]

gertrude never would have become the Archivist, whether she gave in to the Eye or not, and it's for one reason and one reason alone: Jonah needed avatars of the other fears to mark the Archivist, and whenever Gertrude interacted with another avatar, she was the one traumatizing them. she was not the marked, but the mark maker.

[theabigailthorn]

yesterday I was panicking because the next video seemed way too big and impossible to finish on time, and today I've written five pages of the first draft and I've got that "Ooooh it's cooking!" feeling. Gotta trust that the Little Spirit who comes up with all my creative ideas has my back

[kinokoshoujoart]

Marrying Carter in Harvest Moon DS Cute! (North American version)

oh… sorry no not the archaeologist, i mean Pastor Carter from Mineral Town!

(or is it Pastor Curdy….?)

teeechnically his descendant, and it causes a game over… but this is the only time we’ve been able to marry him right?

so in the girl version of HMDS, there’s two “secret” Mineral Town bachelors that you can marry by talking to them enough times on the phone. one is Mason, the guy who runs May’s Tailoring… but the second, Pastor Carter, is a bit more obscure…

i couldn’t find them uploaded anywhere so here are his 2nd* thru 10th conversations+his proposal+proposal rejection in english! if you want to see it on youtube instead here you go

*i failed to record the first conversation when it happened, and there’s no way in hell i’m resetting my whole game again (…yet), so…just know the first one was like “oh you want to talk? what should we talk about…….. …… ….. …. i can’t think of anything. well see ya………” extremely riveting stuff

he’s so obscure that i didn’t even realize that he was a bachelor until i found out about the mechanic from this japanese wiki!! (here’s an archive link to the page on him in case the page doesn’t work) all i did was test whether it worked in english since i couldn’t find any english info at all mentioning it. i’m sure others have found him… right……..

in case the links above don’t work, a small guide to holy matrimony below the cut since i can’t find one in english

it works essentially the same as the Mason marriage (so it’s just a game over, sadly…), and the steps are pretty tedious and counterintuitive, so you’re unlikely to just stumble across it… but you too can get a priest to break his vow of celibacy for you or whatever!

you will need:

at least 2,050,000 G

20 cursed tools/accessories

if you really don’t want to dig up 20 cursed things you can substitute 100x “remove a cursed tool/accessory” for blessing a cursed tool…

but, including all the cursed tools and accessories, there’s only 16… which means you will need to go dig up 4 duplicate cursed accessories using this method! yay!!! extremely pointless since you can’t sell blessed accessories until after marriage in DS for girl (at which point you can’t trigger pastor carter’s proposal)

you unlock a conversation with cardi when you spend at least 205,000 G. which means the quickest thing to do is to order removal of a cursed item five times, then bless 2 cursed items.

**be careful when blessing accessories to only equip one at a time!!! if you equip a stack of duplicate accessories, blessing that stack destroys the duplicates!!!! :( so just take 1 out of the stack and equip it!!!**

you also can’t unlock more conversations until you’ve seen the one you unlocked, so like even if you spend a million G you’ll just unlock one conversation, and you’ll need to finish that conversation and then spend 205,000 G to unlock the next one…yeah….

on the tenth conversation he abruptly reveals that he’s fallen in love with you and asks you to marry him! it ends your game, but….! on the bright side, it ends your game!!! you’re finally free from Hell Simulator!!!!

[crabussy]

he’s over 1000 years old. he’s a little old lady. he’s an anxious cheetah who’s missing it’s therapy dog. he’s addicted to a funny gold hat and it’s giving him so many mental illnesses. he’s bisexual. he needs an ibuprofen or five. he has a vitamin C deficiency. they have pronouns. he has one friend who is equally bad at confronting emotions but way better at not almost dying. if you blew lightly on him you’d knock him over. he is often seen covered in blood and lying stunned on the ground. his ass has been shown on screen multiple times. he is a total loser. there’s girls in his mind. he’s the size of a dust mote. he’s like if a cat could have human mental disorders. you know who it is