#MESSAGE ME IF YOU'VE READ IT TOO AND WANNA DISCUSS

[adamsrcnan]

It's official. I have finished The Sunshine Court. I have so many things to say and yet have no idea what to possibly say. It was perfect. It was absolutely perfect and heartbreaking and gut wrenching and an insane emotional roller coaster and everything i could possibly have asked for from Nora. Like she really truly delivered and i'm so fucking INSANELY grateful she has shared this story with us after all these years. We do not deserve her.

[marvelouslizzie]

You're My Desire - Co-written with @notafunkiller

Summary: Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers' date, but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes' arms.

Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, first date, public sex, ripped clothing, teasing, rough sex, dirty talk, praise, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 5.5K

A/N: We really don't have an excuse for this one. We just wanted 40s Bucky to have a good time, you know? This is basically smut with little bit of plot.

Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's also a Bucky Barnes writer and her stories are amazing.

All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it's hate. That's never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Even though you really didn’t want to, you find yourself on a double date with your best friend. She literally begged you to come because she promised she would bring someone for her date’s best friend and apparently she really doesn’t wanna disappoint the handsome soldier.

You're shocked, though, when you arrive at the fair and see Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes in the flesh waiting for you two at the gate.

You were pretty sure she brought you here for Bucky Barnes but it turns out your date is actually Steve Rogers, aka Captain America himself.

You don't know what to do at first, awkwardly watching your friend hugging Bucky as if they knew each other for ages. Even though they met just a day ago. Steve extends his hand politely, which you immediately shake.

It doesn’t take long for you to go inside the fun fair together while chatting casually. Your friend, Cassie, starts asking questions about the war. She loves front-line stories, but Bucky doesn’t seem like he enjoys telling them.

Steve, on the other hand, is very excited to do it, answering all of Cassie's questions as you quietly watch them. You wonder why you said yes to this date. You've never been into soldiers and even less into war discussions. But you love your friend very much even when she ignores you.

You find yourself looking at Bucky while Cassie and Steve start to chat and exchange stories. He kinda seems amused by this development. You shrug looking in his direction, waiting for him to say something. After all, you are both already bored and your friends don't even seem to care or notice you anymore in the first place.

Bucky just smiles and then tries to change the subject. You think he actually handles that topic change pretty smoothly and it sticks for a while until Cassie gets bored of talking about books.

You remark Bucky's sad face, but you don't say anything. Instead, you subtly start to walk slower, hoping he'll do the same. As Cassie keeps talking to Steve, Bucky notices you are getting behind and just slows down a little.

"You're okay? Are your legs hurting?" Bucky asks concerned while looking at her shoes.

“No, no, I’m fine. Just got tired of the war stories, that’s all.” You keep walking slowly.

"Me, too." He sighs. "It's a never-ending subject at this point."

“Well, where there's life there's hope.” You quote the Hobbit instinctively. You hold on to the hope, one day you won’t have to talk about this war.

Bucky gasps, looking at you in a way you never experienced before. "What did you say?"

“I just said where there's life there's hope.” You repeat, surprised by the way he probably recognized the quote. People usually have no idea what you are referring to. Not him though.

"You're a fan? Oh god!"

That starts your actual conversation with Bucky Barnes. It turns out he’s a big bookworm himself. He reads as much as he can, always buying more books that he manages to read.

You didn't even realize how close you are until your shoulders slightly brush. You blush when he smiles, clearly not minding. Still, you feel very conscious about your closeness and quickly look toward your friend, feeling guilty that you are enjoying the company of her date, but she doesn’t seem to care one bit. On the contrary, she’s actually holding Steve Rogers’ arm while talking and laughing.

"You're very beautiful." You hear Bucky murmur shily.

His compliment catches you off guard. You were about to apologize on behalf of Cassie. Yet you find yourself blushing.

"And you love reading. I am a lucky man. I get to talk to you."

“I could say the same thing myself, Sergeant. I much rather talk about books instead of the war.”

"Then you got the right company." Bucky smiles and looks around. "Should we get some ice cream?"

“That would be amazing.” And that’s how you end up separated from Cassie and Steve. Bucky informs them about their plan and then leaves without waiting for them.

You spend the next hour talking and walking around the entire fair. James even won a teddy bear for you. Once in a while both of you act like you wanna find Steve and Cassie, but you definitely don’t care.

"I don't remember the last time I felt so comfortable and good with someone."

“I’m glad I’m not boring the shit out of you.” You know it’s not ladylike to speak this way, but you feel comfortable around him. It’s crazy when you consider you just met him maybe two hours ago.

Bucky smiles. "I can say the same. Steve says I'm quite boring."

“He’s quite boring himself.”

"Is he?" He snorts.

“Yeah. Who knew Captain America would be into war stories?”

"Doesn't the name say it?" He continues in the same joking tone.

“The name suggests he’s heroic and boring but he’s more boring and less heroic than expected. Stealing his best friend's date doesn’t scream honorable to me.”

Bucky is shocked to see her indirectly standing up for him. "Maybe I stole his date, though."

“His date was uninterested from the start and just being nice to her best friend.”

"Is she still uninterested?"

“In him? Yes.” You act like you don’t understand what he is actually asking.

"Well, the feelings are mutual. About the date and now…"

“You were uninterested in Cassie?” You say it in a way that shows you don’t believe him.

"Wasn't it obvious?"

“Nope.” It definitely wasn’t when they hugged each other the moment they arrived.

"I was trying to be polite. She insisted on this… meeting because I helped her out. I was relieved I could bring Steve."

“She sounded very interested in you until Captain Rogers started with war stories.”

"She was staring at his… back ever since we arrived."

You burst out laughing and he joins you right after. It sets the tone for the rest of the night and makes you notice you both don’t give a shit.

*

"I want to show you something," you say after a few seconds and quickly drag him after you until you reach a darker alley close to the last attraction. You drop the teddy bear carefully at your feet. "Hi."

“Hi.” He still seems a bit confused, but it’s so cute. He looks at the teddy bear and then his eyes turn back to your face. You can’t help but smile.

"You're so cute. Has anyone told you that?" You smile in return.

He acts like thinking for a second. “No, not really. Just cute?” He fishes for more.

"And smart." You touch his chest shily. "And kind."

“Hmm, those are not what people notice first.” He moves a little bit closer. “You have something…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead, his thumb brushes the corner of your lips. You wait for him to wipe off whatever you had on your face before opening your mouth and letting your tongue touch his finger shamelessly.

You watch Bucky’s eyes widen out of surprise. He didn't expect that at all. You grab his hand, bringing his finger inside your mouth, and notice how his breathing quickens. Yet he doesn’t stop you.

You let your tongue play for a few seconds until you let his finger go with a small bite. He lets out the lowest moan but not only do you hear it, but you also love it.

"Wow, I…" He doesn't know what to say, all red and excited.

“You what? Do you feel uncomfortable? Excited? I mean, I can stop if you want.”

In response, brave and happy, Bucky kisses you. His tongue is already on your bottom lip asking for permission, which you grant by opening your mouth without realizing it.

The kiss isn’t shy like you expected, and he definitely knows how to kiss. The way his lips and tongue move makes you want more, right then and there.

Your hands go to his neck as you let yourself enjoy the kiss even more. You keep kissing until you feel breathless. When Bucky breaks it, he doesn’t move away. His forehead touches yours as you try to catch your breath.

"This was…"

“I wanna do something if that’s okay…” You say while suddenly getting on your knees. You are wearing your favorite nylon stockings and you're sure they are gonna get ripped, but you don't care.

Bucky thinks he's daydreaming because how can this happen? How?

"What? What are you doing?"

“I think you know what I am doing, Sergeant. Just tell me to stop if you don’t want it, okay?” Your hands move to his belt but you wait for a reaction first.

"Stop. That's not… you don't have to do this. We are having a great time anyway."

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Is that okay for you?”

He can only nod, totally shocked and excited at the same time.

You unbuckle him slowly. Even though you are in a public place, you're in no hurry. You unzip him while looking into his eyes. When you finally take him out of his pants, he seems speechless. He’s already hard, but as soon as you start to move your hand, he gets rock hard after maybe four pumps.

"Jesus, you're so pretty. You look like a doll on your knees."

You smile proudly. “Tell me what I look like when I do this,” you say before taking him inside your mouth.

He closes his eyes, groaning. Your mouth is so wet and warm. You take it slow at first. Your mouth moves gently while you swirl your tongue around the head.

"Please." You hear him whisper, his left hand resting against the wall behind him.

You move your mouth away from him just to ask “Please what?” Your lipstick is already a little smudged.

"Oh god, keep going. Please, you're such a pretty sight."

“Tell me how I look when you're inside my mouth and I'll continue, promise.” You wink and remind him he still hasn’t fulfilled your request.

"Like a dream. Like a goddess."

“Hmm…” You go back to taking him inside your mouth without making another comment. This time, you move a bit faster than before and start using your hand.

"Your mouth will be the death of me."

That makes you smile but you don’t stop, moving your hand and mouth at the same time, hoping for a good reaction. His hand finds its way to your hair, wrapping it enough to pull a little. That encourages you to go faster, in need for a tighter grip. And you get it: soon, he wraps more of your hair around his whole fist, moaning your name.

“I think I'm gonna…” He sounds so breathy. “You should pull away.”

You look at him, acknowledging his warning, but showing him you are ignoring it. You keep moving fast, making sure your tongue flicks around the right spot every time until he spills inside your mouth. It’s a lot more than you are used to, but you still keep going until he completely empties himself. You take your mouth off, looking into his eyes before swallowing.

"No." He covers his eyes while groaning. "You can't do this to me, doll. Jesus…"

“Do what?” You innocently ask.

He doesn't answer you, taking you by the back of the neck and kissing you sloppily. You don’t get a chance to warn him about the taste and he doesn’t seem to care one bit. He groans into your mouth when he feels your hands on his ass and breaks the kiss just to suck on your neck.

Then you feel his hands between your bodies, trying to pull up his pants again.

You break the kiss to ask: “What are you doing?”

"I'm putting on my pants," he sounds like a kid. "And I wanna get on my knees for you, too."

“Maybe I want something else that doesn’t require you to put your pants on.”

He nods, without understanding what you mean. "Alright. I'll just-" He drops his right hand until it reaches her skirt. "Is it okay?" You nod with a smile. Even though it’s not what you meant, it’s fine.

His fingers immediately go to your underwear and push it aside.

"Fuck me. Look at that." You are really wet and his curses don't help either. "Soaked. Is that for me, doll?"

“No, it’s for Captain Rogers, who bored the shit out of me.” You joke.

You feel his fingers stopping on your slit as he lifts his head. "What did you say?"

“I said it’s for Captain Rogers, who bored the shit out of me. You know that gets the girls wet.” You hope he won’t be offended by this. It’s just a silly joke.

In response, Bucky pushes a finger inside you quickly, his lips curling into a smirk. "Should I start talking about war, too? Bet that would get you even wetter."

You let out a deep breath, relieved. Thank God he isn’t offended. “That would get me dry as a desert, Sergeant Barnes.”

"Should I dye my hair then?" He snorts, moving his finger faster.

“Maybe you should get a shield. It would definitely look better on you.”

"A shield, huh?" Bucky adds another finger, trying to scissor them inside you a couple of times. "Is it too much?"

“Nope,” you say after a moan. “It’s not enough.”

"Fuck, you…" he closes his eyes. "You want another?"

“I want something else.” You smile, hoping him to understand this time.

"Yeah? Like what?"

You grab his cock and gently rub it without saying a word. You are not surprised he’s hard because his erection has been pressed on your leg for a while.

"Fuck. You want my cock, baby?"

“Yeah. Why do you think I didn’t let you pull your pants back up?”

"I don't-" He moans. "I didn't think."

“Come on. You are making me wait while I’m soaking your fingers.”

"Wanna make you…" Bucky interrupts himself by adding a third finger, his other hand going to your clit. "Happy."

“Fuck.” You throw your head back, that felt so good.

"You like this?" He rubs a little more, paying attention to your body. His fingers inside you keep the same pace, though. He isn't slowing down now even if it's the end of the world.

“Yeah, that.” You breathe out. You already feel your legs shaking and you're afraid your knees might give out, but it feels so good, you can’t seem to focus on the concerns.

"Hold on to me."

You put your hands on his shoulders and it helps you relax a bit more. After that, your orgasm comes crashing in like a big wave that leaves you breathless. He doesn't stop moving his fingers until you finish coming, then he slowly pulls them out, making sure to lick them before kissing you.

“You are such a dirty soldier, Sergeant Barnes,” you say with a smile.

"What is dirty about this?" He shrugs. "I'm a good soldier, of course."

“Doing this in a dark alley with me and licking your fingers clean like that. Very good soldier, indeed.”

"Ihm." He buries his head right onto your shoulder and breathes in. "Thank you."

“For what?” You find yourself kissing his hair while asking the question.

"For this evening and this. Thank you for trusting me."

“You are something else, Bucky,” you say while caressing his hair.

"Hmm?"

You kiss his hair and his ear, then move your lips to his neck. “You can thank me later. We are not done yet.”

"Changed your mind?" He smiles. "Want me on my knees after all?

“Maybe later.” You wink. “Now don’t act like you don’t know what I want because I know you want it, too.”

He freezes. "Wait, you're serious?"

“Of course I am serious. Just don’t finish inside, okay?”

He looks at you again all serious. "Are you sure? We don't have to, I can use my tongue."

“Don’t worry, it’s not my first time and yeah, I’m sure unless you don’t want to.”

Bucky looks at you with puppy eyes. "Uhm, it's my first time."

“Oh god.” Your eyes widen. “I… didn’t consider… that possibility. I’m sorry.”

Bucky starts laughing at your worried expression and kisses your cheek. "My first time with a bookworm doll."

You punch his shoulder. “You worried me!”

That makes him laugh even harder, and you can't help but smile. Because he's extra beautiful like this.

"Why? Do you have something against innocent boys, ma'am? Shame!"

“No, nothing against it. Absolutely would love to teach and corrupt but wouldn’t want that to be your first time.”

"You don't want to take advantage of me, huh? Such a good girl." He surprises you by suddenly lifting you and helping you wrap your legs around his torso.

“Would you like me to take advantage of you?” You kiss his jaw and cheeks.

"Fuck, yes. Yes."

“Then you have my permission to take advantage of me, too.”

He doesn't ask you again if you're sure. Instead, he lifts his right hand to your blouse and starts unbuttoning it as fast as he can. He's so impatient he even manages to rip a button. You just watch him work and smile, hoping the gentleman side of Bucky finally stops holding him back.

He groans at the sight of your hard nipples and quickly leans in to take one in his mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you whimper while he uses his tongue to play with your nipple. It feels so good you don't even notice when his hand drops under your skirt. Until you hear the ripping sound.

“What the fuck?” You can’t believe he's just ripped your nylon stockings. They are so hard to find and so expensive!

"Whha?" He doesn't even take his mouth off your nipple as he speaks.

“Do you know how expensive those stockings are?” Your surprise is so clear in your voice. “You owe me a pair of nylon stockings, Sargeant.”

"They were in the way, baby."

“Getting impatient?” You mock a little.

He pushes his hips a little more. "Can't you feel?"

“You still owe me a pair.”

"What about these?" His hands are now on her panties. "How many do I need to buy you so I can rip these off?"

“Just one pair, but if you wanna rip that one, too, this cycle might never end.”

He sighs, contemplating, but he finally decides not to, only pushing your underwear aside. "How do you want it?"

“What do you mean?”

Bucky takes another step until your back barely brushes against the wall. "How do you like this? The sex."

“Don’t try to act all kind and push aside what you actually want to do. That’s how I want it.”

"Do you uhm… like it fast or slow? The pace I mean." He's slowly pushing inside you while he asks, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“That’s exactly what I meant. Do it however you want and we will see how I like it. Don’t be too gentle like this.”

"Talk to me, okay?" He's halfway inside you now, staying still for a few seconds as he leaves small kisses on your neck.

“Oh, I will, don’t worry, handsome. No one can stop me from complaining if I don’t like something.”

"Good girl." He tries different types of thrusts and angles at first, wanting to see what you respond to the most.

“Fuck. Why do you keep saying that?” She moves her hips to make him thrust faster.

"Because you're my good girl. Dirty too." He moans when he feels you. "God, you want it faster, baby?"

“Yes, yes, I do. Please. Move faster.”

And he does, his grip on your ass tightening as he starts thrusting just the way you want. "Fuck, you're soaked. You feel so good around me."

“You feel good, too.” You moan in between words. “And you are strong. Really strong,” you remark because he doesn’t look tired while holding you.

But he doesn't seem to acknowledge that. "I'm so fucking lucky, Jesus." He groans when he feels your lips sucking on his collarbone.

“You didn’t think your double date would end this way, huh?”

"Deep inside you? Not a chance." He smiles, speeding up.

“Maybe deep inside someone else.” You tease on purpose.

Bucky immediately stops thrusting. "What?"

“I was just joking about how we were meant to be on a date with other people.” You hate that you can’t shut your mouth sometimes.

"Oh," he nods, restarting to move. "Well, I can assure you, he wouldn't have done this tonight." He jokes back.

“Fuck me against the wall like this?”

"Fuck you at all. But especially like this. And the language?" He laughs. "Never."

“Oh, so honorable of him.” You keep joking. “Poor Cassie.”

His right-hand flies behind your head to protect it as his thrusts become way too quick. "Fuck. You feel like heaven, I swear."

“God, how do you do that?” You are surprised that he can carry you with one hand. “Are you sure you aren’t a super soldier yourself?”

Bucky shakes his head amused. "That will go straight to my ego."

“You're carrying me with one hand while protecting my head with the other, and you keep fucking me at the same time. I think it should go straight to your ego.”

He groans. "Lower one of your hands now."

“Lower it where exactly?” You don’t understand what he wants.

His hand moves from the back of her head for a few seconds just to bring her fingers to her clitoris. "Right here. Can you rub this for me?"

“Ohh.” You finally understand what he’s trying to do, so you listen and start rubbing yourself while his hand goes back to your head.

"Good, good girl. Look at you." He doesn't even realize how deep his thrusts are because his focus is on your fingers.

“Oh god… It feels so good.” You have never done something like this before. No public sex, no touching yourself during sex, no good girl whispers next to your ear. They all make you feel dizzy.

"Yeah? Just good?" His mouth finds your breasts this time, and you just know he's leaving a few marks there by the way he sucks on your skin.

“You wanna hear how good it makes me feel?”

"Ihmm."

“Oh, you are even dirtier than you are showing, aren’t you, Sergeant Barnes?”

He looks up immediately. "Say that again." He demands.

“Sergeant Barnes?”

"Fuck, you need to rub faster."

“You need to fuck me harder.” You say while listening to his order.

"Harder?" He repeats, shocked, not expecting that in the slightest. But he does as you demand in a heartbeat, biting his tongue because it feels so good.

You have a hard time holding back your reaction because it feels just perfect. You can feel your orgasm approaching.

“Shit, you need to cover my mouth,” you say as quickly as possible.

"Just use me. Bite my shoulder," he suggests quickly, keeping the pace exactly the same.

You wanna say no, because you don’t wanna hurt him but there’s no other choice left. You sink your teeth in somewhere between his neck and shoulder and try to muffle yourself. The orgasm hits you so hard that you are afraid someone is gonna hear you even like this.

"Fuck," he groans, the pain feeling amazing as you keep coming, your legs wrapping even more tightly around his ass.

“Please, don’t stop,” you manage to say and go back to biting him, very aware of the hickey you are giving him, but that doesn’t stop you because you don’t want to get caught like this.

"Can't stop." At this point you wonder how no one noticed you by now. The sound of your skin touching and your groans are not quite silent. But even if they did, you know you wouldn't stop. How could you?

"Keep rubbing, I want you to find pleasure again."

“Again?” You sound shocked because you've literally just come.

"Again." He tries to lift one of your legs a little more. "Please."

“I don’t think I can, but keep going, okay?” You already came twice in a short amount of time. How much more can you do?

"Well, I think you can." He smiles. "Gonna mark me up, baby?"

“I think I already did.” You can see your teeth marks on his neck. You are sure it will turn into purple really soon.

"I'm your property now?" The hand he has on the back of your head quickly grabs your hair and wraps it around his fist.

“Are you?” You like the sound of that and how he’s pulling your hair.

"I am." He's frantically thrusting in and out of you. "Rub faster."

“Fuck,” you mumble while rubbing yourself. You aren’t sure if it’s gonna do anything, but it feels good. “Can I keep you then? You know, kidnap you and hide you in my apartment so you don’t have to go back to the war. We can just do this every day.”

"Fuck, do it." He smiles. "I dare you."

“Should I tie you up so it looks more realistic?” And suddenly all that rubbing starts to feel different, more pleasurable.

"On your bed? Go ahead."

You laugh at how easily he’s convinced, but your laugh is interrupted by a moan.

"Gonna come for me, dolly?"

“I am not sure.” You struggle to speak. “It feels like it.”

He pulls your hair hard. "Please, please."

“You beg so beautifully, how can I say no?” It’s not like your body is saying no, either.

When you finish coming again, you watch with your eyes semi-closed as James takes himself out without dropping you even a little and comes right on your thighs and ripped stockings. You feel the warmth of his come while you both are trying to catch your breath.

"This was… wow."

“This is a hell of a first date.” You find yourself giggling. Did all that really happen? The soreness between your legs says yes.

Bucky slowly puts you down. "You think?" He snorts.

“Oh yeah, very memorable.” You notice that your stockings are completely ruined so you have no other choice but to take them off.

"Fuck, you're dripping." He doesn't look like he's sorry and he can't say he is, either. He's actually very proud.

“Yeah, I am aware.” You laugh while taking them off and using them like a washcloth to clean yourself up.

"You have no idea how lovely the sight is." He winks at you while zipping up his pants.

You bite your bottom lip while looking at him. “Likewise. You look satisfied, Sargeant. Did something happen while you were gone?” You pull your skirt down.

"I got touched by an angel."

You laugh. “So cheesy. You are lucky that you are a bookworm. A really good-looking one, who is also good at bed even though we didn’t even need one.”

"Next time. Maybe we'll break it." He sounds so confident, but not demanding at all at the same time.

“When are you going back?” You find yourself asking. If he’s promising you a second time, you are gonna take it.

"In one week."

You make a sad face without realizing then take a deep breath to help yourself focus on the positive side. “That’s a lot of sex.”

He immediately lifts your chin and presses a kiss on your forehead. "I was joking. We got two months."

“You are such a liar.” You punch him in his shoulder.

Which only makes him laugh. "You like it hard."

But your attention is on his neck, on the spot you bit so hard. The purple spot looks really old and mostly faded already.

"No comment?" He snorts. "We're gonna have a lot of fun for sure."

“I have a question.” Your eyes are still on that same spot. “Does Steve heal quickly?”

"Why? You plan on kicking his ass?"

“Just answer the question, please.”

"Yeah, he does." Bucky shrugs. "One of the perks of the serum."

“Even the small scars or purple spots?”

"Yes." Bucky doesn't even think about it. "Which is great. Why? You think your friend will want to know?"

You don’t comment about his question, instead, touch the spot you bit down so hard. “You are nearly completely healed. My mark has vanished.”

"What?" He asks, confused.

“I bit down on your neck so hard, it was dark red. Now it’s gone.”

"I don't get purple easily. Never did. I guess you have to suck a little more." He smiles leaning in to kiss you again.

“I fully bit you,” you say before he does.

"I noticed." He giggled.

Since he doesn’t take it that seriously you let it go. “Fine. I will prove it to you later.”

"Prove what?" He gives you another kiss.

“That you heal quickly.” You try to fix yourself while you kiss him back.

"Oh, I feel healed every time I look at you."

“You are so cheesy.” Yet you can’t help but laugh. “How do I look?”

"Good boy version or?" He pauses dramatically.

“Both.”

"Good boy version first: you look like an angel." He smiles cheekily.

You snort. “I’m asking if I look decent, Bucky.”

"Angel,” he repeats before dropping his hands to your ass and squeezing. "They won't know you've got fucked against the wall if that's what you're afraid of. But you look strangely content and happy."

“That’s because I had a good date.” You scrunch your nose cheekily.

"Me too. The best date ever."

“Should we try to find our best friends?”

"Oh, sure." Bucky leans in to get the teddy bear before handing it to you.

"Ready for more war stories?"

“No, I’m not.” You hug the bear. “I gotta wash this.”

Bucky snorts. "Poor bear. Got traumatized."

“Traumatized and all dirty.” You don’t notice how close you are to Bucky until you feel him next to you. “Should we keep this a secret from our friends?”

"Do you want to?"

“I meant the having sex in a dark alley part. I don’t think my friend needs to know that.” She definitely shouldn’t know all this.

"We should totally keep that part to ourselves." He smiles.

“I could say that you kissed me or something. I don’t know. Is that too forward for the first date?”

"There's no such thing. You can say I kissed you."

“I was genuinely asking.” You smile. “I normally don’t even kiss on the first date.”

Bucky giggles, his hand squeezing your hip. "I am a lucky gal." You smile back at him until you notice a familiar face.

“Oh, is that Steve?” You point to the tall blonde guy.

"Yes, that's him. But where is your friend?"

“Right in front of him. I can see her dress.” It’s sticking on the side.

"Oh, yes. Gonna drive you home after that if that's alright with you." He sounds so casual like he already did that many times, but you notice something else.

“You have a car and you didn’t think of using it until now?”

"Oh." Redness takes over his cheeks. "I got… distracted."

"You are such an idiot." You start to giggle while walking toward your friends.

"Your idiot now. You got stuck with me for at least two months." He laughs.

"Just for two months?" You test his intentions.

"I can't assume you'd want to wait for me, can I?"

"I will tell your best friend to bring you back home in one piece. He's the hero after all. That should be easy, right?"

Bucky looks at her with a soft expression before kissing her hair. "Guess you really got stuck with me."

"Oh shit, Steve saw you kissing my hair." It’s going to be hard to keep this thing between you two.

"Does it bother you?"

“No, no, no.” You quickly try to explain. “It’s just I’m worried that they might think the worst of me. I mean… questioning our closeness.”

"I dare them." She is surprised by how serious and determined he is as he speaks.

“I would kiss you right now if I could.”

"I won't stop you." He giggles like a kid.

“Our friends are,” you whisper and look at your best friend, who is coming toward you. Cassie is holding Steve’s arm proudly.

"Oh, hello," Steve says. "Where have you been?"

"Here and there." Bucky shrugs. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes!" Cass immediately giggles, joining the conversation. "He has the best, best stories. What about-" She cuts herself off when she notices your appearance. "What happened to your stockings?"

“Oh.” You blush a little, thinking about how they got ruined. “I tripped and ruined them. They looked so horrible I had to take them off completely.”

"Yes, they got really dirty," Bucky confirms with the biggest grin Steve has seen in ages.

"Oh, really?" He lifts his eyebrow. "What a shame."

“Yeah. Sergeant Barnes promised me a new pair. What a gentleman he is.”

"A gentleman indeed." Steve shakes his head, well aware of what you two have done.

You bite your lip and give Bucky a look, hoping at least Cassie has no idea. You are sure the three of you can keep a secret. For now…

You may wanna read the next part: Trust In What Tomorrow Brings

[9800sblog]

Pick a card tarot reading - which TV show and movie are you and your friends in?

can be your next friendgroup too!

-> let's talk about your dynamics with others and the contexts you and your friends are inserted; do you have a potential lover in your friendgroup? can you identify who is your closest friend there? what are the possible next events? which TV show and movie would you love to watch right now?

-> this is exclusively my interpretation of what tarot cards showed me through energy reading, I could be wrong, take only what you think makes sense to you and message me if you have any questions! ^^

let's get into it!!!!

pick your pile

from up to down: Pile 1 (The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You - My Chemical Romance), Pile 2 (Flashing Lights - Kanye West, Dwele), Pile 3 (Would've, Could've, Should've - Taylor Swift)

Pile 1

South Park and Harry Potter

the existence of your group in itself is odd, you're all totally different, but share something in common that bonds you. your group follows some sort of structure, likely meeting at school everyday and/or living nearby each other and have been/will be together during your formative years (childhood and teen years). you will always see these people as your home, even if just through nostalgia, you go through unimaginable adversities together. you resolve problems with unkindness and you always get away with stuff. overall, lots of people don't like y'all because you're all self absorbed, but someone in the group specifically, probably the "leader", thinks they're somehow special and that drives outsiders crazy. your group is the outcasts who think they are popular and are given special treatment from people in power. you guys dare to be different and act the way your intuition says to act, you're not worried about acting the way you're expected or "supposed" to act because you think people like that are dumb, you have childlike souls. your intentions are pure and you're just trying to live your life with fun and without worry, if anyone gets in the way of that, a fight is sure to happen. this group is totally platonic.

Pile 2

The Good Place and The Craft

this is my spiritual friend group! you hang out to practice things, you're a team, this might be a literal sports team working on their team spirit. the leader of this group is a liar! I wouldn't trust them. this group doesn't or hasn't worked well together because people are/were acting selfishly; secrets, gossips and arguments, the minute you guys identify and end the manipulations, this team will be stronger than ever! happy individuals and an unbreakable bond. of course it won't be easy! there is so much hard work required, many discussions and ugly endings, but teamwork is the dream work. this might require you to kick someone out. you guys have a spiritual connection, work on being better people for your own selves and you'll have a revolutionary relationship, life-changing stuff that will help many others.

Pile 3

The Office and Clueless

brought together by the most soul crushing responsibilities, you guys work so well together because you respect each other's individuality. you make everyday life fun by exploring different outcomes of boring events, you don't wanna be stuck where you are so you try to push each other to go out of their comfort zones and y'all pretty imature when you're together! your work may be mediocre but who cares? it doesn't matter! you follow your passions in other ways anyways, these are just annoying obligations. your connections are fulfilling and make you happy, you find comfort in them, you're so similar, yet so different, with different backgrounds and stories. you may find that romance you've been dreaming of in your friend group!! best friends to lovers :D (please don't date your "ex" step brother)

[ladysomething]

hi hunnnnn. I have 3 things, maybe 4

1. what in the everloving fuck is chubes. I've been wreckling my mind for days because I for the love of the ch words cannot understand what it means.

2. do you have the list of the pro-anti omega drivers that another anon did? just wondering. I wanna read it out of curiosity.

3. anon (s?) with the top Charles fright. I feel you. and before you, my dear Mads (I didn't even know that was your name, so, hi Mads), try to convert me, I myself already tried. it work out like shit because now I have PTSD. I kinda tried to look it up but my knowlegde of how to use ao3 is nonexistent at worst and laughable at best so I kinda ended up in a Voltron with Charles Dickens as the name fic. just kinda. it was something. and then when I deciphered the tags I started reading Yours. and don't get me wrong. it's great, my love to the author. but in my mind fic Charles is just the biggest twink ever and it must remain as such. regardless of where. but y'all do yourselves

4. I was just wondering if in the future you would be open to make some Max POV's from past moments. what I want to say is that I really wanna know what went throw Max’s mind when he hear Fred speak about the bruises. but I mean it like. when you've finished WYGIG obviously.

+1. I have storted things out about myself with this fic. have you seen that funny ao3 wrapped post? the one that's like spotify wrapped but ao3 and goes something like you get a fav author, and then you stalk them, see they are into some weird shit and now you're into that too? that's me with breeding kink. I'm a different person now than I was before starting this fic. (thanks)

+2 anon that wanted to draw them, please I beg you do it. I wanna see some fanarts 😽

so obviously I did 6 things. wow

ok I'll go one by one!!!!

lmao I forget that people aren't like. seeing everything like I'm seeing everything hahaha. but basically the other day the forum was discussing what Charles would do if he got pregnant accidentally, and then somebody suggested Max get a vasectomy, and somebody else said "You can never trust a man, Charles should get his chubes tied." so chubes = Charles tubes. NOT pubes, in case that was an option you came up with hahah

I don't have it on hand, I'm sorry! but I THINK what I told people was Lewis is outwardly pro omega, we'd already discussed Daniel would be pro omega (I think???), Lando was in the publicly staying out of category (but has now been revealed to have nefarious intentions), and George would be completely anti-omega just for funsies.

look I'll ignore what is obviously a very underdeveloped palette from you to address the REAL issue here: how did you end up at a fic with Charles Dickens?????????? pls message me and I can give you a crash course on how to use ao3, because a beautiful world awaits you my friend.

hm well, I probably won't go over it COMPLETELY, but there are some insights into previous Charles chapters when we finally get back to a Max POV.

+ 1. I'll be honest, that was my reaction the first time I read a fic with breeding kink. I was like "oh. this is really something I've learnt about myself huh."

+ 2. SAME!!!! Many big loves to anybody willing to draw Max fucking Charles into oblivion while telling him he wants to get him pregnant. (jk ... but also ... 👀👀)

[seokmashu]

moot appreciation & 1000th post ❤️

to celebrate the end of predebut era, zb1's debut, my lovely 5ever moots, and my 1000th post! (also bc this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks now and i figured it's time!) it's been a few months since i joined zumblr and i wanted to shout out a few people who have made this experience so fun and lively and wonderful and whose friendships i really treasure ❤️ i love all of you mwah now let's goo!!

💌 cherrie // @cherriegyu 🍒

cherrieee tietie 🫶 when i first came on tumblr you were one of the only ppl i talked to and you made me feel so welcome in the community- i loved discussing lex's hp ideas with you, our bias lists and being a zerorat (💀) imy and love you lots <3

💌 moni // @taerrrrrae 🐨

moni you're always so sincere when reading and reacting to other ppl's works, responding to asks, and letting other ppl know you're thinking of them, that i find it so inspiring~ i mean who else would compose poems for their moots?? you're such a sweet person a 7 star hallabong fr <3

💌 riri // @chxrrymxxnlight 🌛

ririii my fav riyangi fangirl!! you're so cute and i appreciate how you always keep me up to date about zb1 stuff (like within 0.1 seconds of them posting, insane) even tho we always miss each other cuz we live in opposite timezones 😭 i hope u only have happy days ahead and i'm so excited to hear more about this story you're writing and drawing!! <3

💌 tee // @haesunflower ⛳

teee! i'm so glad you sent me that message when we first became moots bc it's so much fun talking to you~ remember the gyuvin cheeto ask i sent you? 💀 and all those times you were thirsty over wrote about zb1 ahem. i love discussing fic ideas with you because you simply give the best reactions and i'm so happy you get to live out your y/n fantasy fr fr 😭 <3

💌 rose // @ohdudedhesflirting 🐝

ah yes rose one of the only other seokryus that i know on tumbles 😭 your thirsty reactions to posts are so funny and always crack me up~ i'm sooo glad you started writing more bc i love reading your fics!! still mad you didn't tag me in the first one 😤 but it's ok since it literally wrenched my heart out ;; i hope you're doing better now and that you had a wonderful bday <3

💌 lex // @bp-zb1fics 🦇

lex i know you haven't been as active lately but it doesn't feel right to not include you in this since you were literally my d-1 bestie when i first started this blog- i loved discussing fic ideas with you and joking around making silly posts and sending each other twts and telling each other about our dreams and reading all the wonderful stuff you wrote! i hope you're doing well now, i'm thinking about you <3

💌 venom // @zerobaseonefics 🕸️

you were one of the first people i talked to when i arrived at zumblr and i remember thinking wow she seems cool i wanna get to know her! little did we know that was the start of a century long feud however thankfully we can say war is over now that you've admited defeat 😇 fr tho, you're such a talented writer and i really admire how you always make time to listen to and talk to everyone~ your love for spiderman is sooo cute you act cool all the time but you're actually the cutest yk? thank you for encouraging me to post my art back then, i really don't think i would've started posting my bday series if it weren't for you and ilysm <3

💌 hazel // @hanbeanz 🔮

aka the don 😎 hazel i think you're such a talented gifmaker and the way you include your stream of consciousness always cracks me up lolol i think you're an awesome leader and it's fun discussing ideas for zb1net tg, don't feel too discouraged and i also hope you don't get too burnt out either<3 also that time you sent me an ask about your emoji tag still cracks me up hahaha <3

💌 alma // @gunwookstan 🐭

my fav fav fav mattwook fangirl almaaaaa <3 i'm so happy you messaged me bc we are literally kindred spirits when it comes to reacting to our boys LOL it was sooo funny that one time i was scrolling twt and accidentally found your account and you were like sweats uhhh that's not me ok sure 👀 talking with you always brightens my day ily sooo much mwah <3

💌 rin // @jjanguri 🐳

rininining!! my sweet, kind, open-hearted friend who can't help but cry from simply existing 🥺 from our first interaction i could tell you were gonna be lots of fun to talk to~ i love being spymasters tg, hearing ab your feud with your cubicle mate, the tattoos you plan on getting, your reactions to hao, and your love of eating bricks and concrete <3 bc of you "goobert" and "monch" are imprinted into my mind LOL and also i think it's soo impressive how you churn out 10 gifsets every day even tho you're so busy all the time~ idk what's up with the whole ss and meow agenda you've been cooking up lately but grrrr i'm keeping my eye on you 👀 thanks for being such a fun but also calming presence my lovely friend and i hope you know i'm here for you when the going gets tough <3

💌 iana // @taeraex 🦖

iana our cute adorable bb <33 it's funny that your bias is taerae bc both of you could stand still doing nothing and i would still think it's the funniest thing LOLL i love talking to you about astrological signs and your stalker behavior and being petty and your random bursting out into song and playing codenames with you (we fr are connected to the same wifi bc it's crazy how similar our instincts are) it's always such a fun time when you're around 😛 you could talk for hours and hours and i would love listening to every second of it you're just so funny and endearing and cute <3 also thank u for always supplying the cute cat pics bc there is a SEVERE drought going on 🙏 i hope u get some sleep bc i'm always worried ab you y'know <3

💌 lili // @y--eontan 🦎

o lilicat how i adore you, you're so funny and brazen and sweet and every time i see you lurking in chat i just wanna go pspspsps 😽 before we started talking i remember seeing your emoji gifset and i remember thinking this is so cool i can't wait to see the part 2!! and then you messaged me and i was like :0 your reactions to gunwookie are soo cute that i just wanna spam you with every noot noot/cheek pic i see~ it's so funny the way you complain about stuff and block people you have no patience for lmaooo i am seated for our next complaining sesh 🫡 your comments and little quips always catch me off guard bc you're so deadpan and i love your sense of humor haha also when you drew that lil orange puppy on the art i made for you? *bursts into tears* <3

💌 hope // @zeroze 🕊️

my cute hopieee i'm so sorry i called u buzz lightyear when all u wanted to be was bubbles 😭 it's so much fun theorizing ab zb1 concepts with you bc we share one mind when it comes to our music tastes and thank you for always looking out for me and asking if i'm gonna watch stuff with you and making sure i go to bed at a reasonable hour 🫶 you're so sweet and kind and funny (thinking about the time you banned iana 💀) even tho you never let me have my own cute emoji reacts :'( i hope your exhibition wraps up well and you can fiiiinally have the break you deserve! and i also hope you have the best time in japan/korea (if we don't end up meeting up!!) and i SWEARRR i'll go to bed earlier (just for u 😚) <3

💌 maria // @sunghanbinie 🌺

aka jiff, lieutenant mario, and the other half of our shared braincell -- i love how we can talk about anything and everything, from when we wake up to when we go to bed, you've simply been there for everything. even though you torment me day-to-day with monkey allegations and thirsty matt gifs, you're also always there to listen to my troubles and check up on me when i'm feeling down - i appreciate you so so much from playing 49584 games together every night and spilling tea to fangirling over zb1 and giving me gif advice. you are my constant <3 i think you're so smart and funny and such a talented gifmaker and writer. i love our little jokes and making fun of each other at every opportunity, and i truly don't think being on zumblr would've been the same without you <3 i love you sooo much mwah mwah mwah <333

finally, a shoutout to moots who i haven't spoken to as much but who i want to get to know better because i just think they're so talented and cute and cool: @jinkiseason // @zb1s // @zerobaseone // @seokmatthewz // @sung-hanbin // @yunacoeur // @keiwook // @cinnajun // @juyomiao <3

this was written from the heart at like 4am and i hope you all know just how much i love and appreciate each and every one of you <3 1000 posts and 10000 more to go! can't wait to spend the next 2.5 years with y'all 😁

[sourrind]

Your Star Trek AU idea sounds great! I love the backgrounds you've assigned to everyone!

I have a few different ideas for a Star Trek AU myself (like this), but I would probably never get around to writing them.

I have been thinking about Ava and Shannon possibly being Trills / or with a symbiont too! Although in what I've been thinking about so far, Ava is just human who got a symbiont jammed into her in an emergency situation a la Adira Tal in ST:Disco. Shannon is definitely a Trill though.

I love the thought of Bea having a Vulcan connection. I always wanted Bea to be human in a Star Trek AU but she def has Vulcan-like traits. I kinda like the idea of her being a human raised by Vulcans, with her struggling to suppress her human emotions in a Vulcan society, like Michael from ST:Disco. (And now this is making me think of Lilith as possibly Romulan, with all the emotions she always expresses outwardly as opposed to Bea's Vulcan trait of suppressing her emotions.)

And can I please steal that USS Andalusia name? I have been trying to think of a name for their ship.

Having the OCS be a part of Section 31 is a great idea! And the DS9 influence with the whole Cardassian and Bajoran conflict is a great idea for a show with religious influences.

First off, I love that there are other people that wanna mash Warrior Nun and Star Trek together. Big mood.

I haven't seen STD, but I also was toying with whether Ava should've been a Trill or just a human that was there when Shannon died. It's nice to know that there's another case in canon I can look into for something like that.

And Bea is totally Vulcan-coded, whether she's part Vulcan or raised Vulcan. Not only is there that suppression of base human emotion vs her Vulcan upbringing, but I also was toying with the idea of Bea being a master of all trades kind of person as an attempt to make up for the fact that she was probably seen as a "lesser than" during her upbringing. This also leads to a surprising knowledge of religion and theology that her human side possessed, but she found lacking in her Vulcan family. (This would also lead to some interesting discussions with Vincent, who I thought could be a Bajoran counselor on the ship as well.)

Lilith as a Romulan? It basically writes itself.

And please, take as much as you want from all of this stuff I'm spewing! I'd be ecstatic to see any of this anywhere!

Aaaaannnnnnddd I am now just reading all the stuff you have written for your AU and-my gosh-I love it all! I didn't even consider the Borg when I was doing this, but Lilith getting partially assimilated and then rescued is so perfect (especially with it being because of her duty and saving Ava). And I love how you incorporated Diego, because what's Star Trek without some precocious scamp running around?

I also love that we both had no idea what to do with Camilla. Being the sweet, little cinnamon roll, maybe we just give her the O'Brien treatment and just put the screws to her every other chapter.

And my god, the interactions you described with the mirrorverse Avas and Beas, that is pure gold!

P.S. I definitely will watch VOY. I attempted to start it recently, but jut wasn't in the head space for it. Definitely will give it another go soon!

P.P.S. This was so fun to talk about. Feel free to just straight up message me whenever you wanna chat!

[umbrellatte]

Distant | F. Hargreeves

synopsis: after years since that day of resetting the timeline, five, klaus, ben and you begrudgingly agree to a reunion with the rest if the hargreeves, expectedly ending in an outburst from five.

pairings and duos: five hargreeves x reader, five and klaus brotp, ben and klaus brotp, five and ben slowly getting along

notes: unlike my other fics, everything from the show happened here, except you were with five instead of him time traveling, returning right after he left so he was same of age. i'm also not sure of claire's age but for the sake of this, let's say she was 4 at 2019.

disclaimer: five is above 18 in all my fics unless stated otherwise!

After everyone had left, well almost everyone, luther had left to find Sloane, Allison went to return home, Diego and Lila on their way to a new life with one another, Viktor to god knows where, [Name], Five, Ben and Klaus were left standing there.

“C'mon Five! Let's gooo!” Klaus said, gently but seemingly hardly pushing him to a different direction along with Ben.

“Hey. What the hell are we supposed to do now?” the remaining sparrow asked. “Live without our powers, i suppose.” Five answered. “Yea, but where are we going to live? And the food or the money. I'm pretty sure that's what Ben meant.” you replied, grabbing Five's hand, walking along the path Klaus was bringing the three of you to.

From then on, you and Five's lives in a teenage body with Klaus and Ben has begun. Ben took care of the job and money, because, quote on quote, Klaus is still not sober for that shit. Slowly, Five became accustomed to the company he was given that he's learned to be able to express his emotions better.

—

Six years later... You, Five and Ben helped Klaus reach sobriety so now he has a job, during the weekdays.

“Five? Klaus says he wanted to go to a carnival later since he and Ben have no work. He's inviting Ben and was asking if you wanted to come too?” he hums, indicating a yes, as he puts his coffee cup down. “May i sit?”, you asked, pertaining to the empty spot on his bed. “Yes you may. No need to ask, it's a small matter.”

You held him, something you've always known he liked. “We should go honey. Klaus and Ben will probably be here in a minute, assuming Ben said yes.” you smiled, took his hand and stood up.

“No, i wanna stay first.” he said pulling you back down on his bed. Giggling like a child, you laid on the bed with him, combing you fingers through his locks. You two enjoyed the silence, the presence of one another.

“I love you, you know?” you mumbled but loud enough for him to hear. “Yes, i do in fact know. You succeed in reminding me ever so much every day.”

Silence once again filled the room. “I love you too.” he mumbles quietly for only you to hear. He is trying to use words, but usually touch and actions speak for him instead. So with that, he gave you a small kiss on the crown of your head, hopefully relaying his message louder. “C'mon lovebirds. Klaus is waiting for you two.” Ben said, interrupting the moment.

—

A week later, they received a letter from Allison, someone they have not heard from for a long time.

Dear [Name],

I hope this letter reaches you. We haven't seen each other in a while now, huh? How about a reunion? Since Claire is turning 10, I think she deserves to meet you guys. My place (Allison's address), at [Month, Date, Time]? I really do hope you, Five and the others come.

Sincerely,

Allison Hargreeves-Chestnut

As soon as you read this, you got everyone at the living room to discuss with them, because you knew they deserved to know and that they should decide for themselves whether or not they are going. Little murmurs here and there of shock on why she decided to contact now are filling the room.

“Sure, why not? We haven't seen everyone in so longgg” Klaus said, dragging the 'ng' of the last word. “I'll go if Five does.” you said, sooner with Five replying, “Fine, but only because I get to meet Claire. ”

“I have no choice but to go with you guys, don't I?” Ben deadpanned, expecting a yes. “Indeed, Ben-erino!”

—

“Oh wow. This place is huge.” Viktor said as he walked in with Diego and Lila. Viktor happened to run into them when he was on his way to Allison's abode.

“Could be bigger.” Five said, but as expected, no one recognized him, seeing as it's been six years. Force of habit, Diego pulled out a knife and placed it pointing directly at Five. “Who the hell are you.”

“Hey, hey! Put it down! That's Five, Diego! Geez.” Klaus said, slowly pushing Diego's hand down. “Oh.”

Then it hit him. That teenage boy was his brother. “OH. Five!? Look at you, you're.. Well.. grown up? Kind of?” Diego said, surprised. “Well obviously. It's been six years, idiot.” you said, comung in the house with Ben.

“Hey guys! Great to see you guys again! Luther got her an hour ago but you're just in time!” Allison greeted, Ray beside her and Claire in front. Everyone, well like before, almost everyone gathered together and had their hugs. Five and I on the other hand were together by a corner.

“You don't have to stay with me here, you know. I know you miss Diego and Lila.” you hummed. “It's okay, go. I'll be fine here.”

“We both know you won't. C'mon, I know you sort of miss Lila too. Let's go, okay?” pulling his arm, you walked to the direction of wherever Lila and Diego were.

“Hey stranger. Long time no see.” you greeted. “Holy!- Look at you little turds. Long time no see, huh?” you and Lila laughed. “Nice to see you again, Lila. And you as well, Diego.”

Diego smiled, “How have you two been? I'm just gonna assume you guys are not so sane anymore after being with Klaus and Ben for six years.” Five smiled. In a long time, he hasn't heard anyone from his siblings besudes Klaus and Ben ask how he was, so for Diego to do that, he actually did smile.

“We've been doing fine, thank you. And to my surprise, no we have not lost are sanity.”

—

It was time for dinner and everyone was talking. You ate pasta, fork in your right hand, and your left was occupied with Five's hand. Chatter overlapping chatter, soon, it had died down and everything was quiet. Until Allison decided to speak up. “I really missed you guys. And Five, look at you! You've grown so much, your eighteen now, right!” he hummed a yes.

Allison went on about how he's grown and anything else of the like, which you could see was pissing Five. Atleast he was pissed, until he was angry. “Would you be quiet!? Look, I get it! I've grown! I'm eighteen now and shit! Maybe you would have known if you decided to reach out six years ago, not six years later! I personally don't care anymore, but you rambling on about it infuriating because i don't even know why you're trying when you could have years ago.”

He finally snapped. You were proud of him for letting all that resentment but Claire was here to watch so you gave Klaus a look and he stood up, and guided Claire to her room with Ray. “I..- Are you okay, Five..?”

He scoffed. Oh now he was really angry. He usually bottles his emotions when with other people. Guess the bottle finally cracked. “Oh, now you're asking?! Really?”

Luther coughed. “Okay, let's all take a minute to settle down and talk properly, okay?”

“No let him be. He deserves to let it out.” you told Luther. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to accept you guys didn't care? That maybe Lila actually cared more than my siblings ever could? I moved heaven and earth to get back to you and not once has any of you asked if i was okay, or thought that maybe! Just maybe, i wasn't the bad guy and that it wasn't my doing!”

Lila's look softened. She was shocked to say the very least, that Five actually acknowledged that she did care in her snobby british way. “I personally don't care about this crap anymore, atleast i thought i didn't. Not until you kept rambling about this.” he said, leaving the room.

“He's right, you know. Technically it is your fault if you missed parts of his life. He would have welcomed you if you decided to reach out even if he didn't give a fuck anymore because atleast you made the effort. That was Three years ago, eventually he stopped caring overall. Clearly, you've shown no regards to him whatsoever until now, so yes. He is angry about it.” you defended Five, following him.

Everyone looks at Five, then each other. “Five, I'm sorry!” Viktor called out, following him. Klaus, blocking him, knowing exactly that Five didn't want to see any of them. Not anymore. “Sorry Vik, but i know Five doesn't want to see you. Or any of you, really, and—”

“They aren't wrong, we did fuck up.” Luther said, cutting Klaus off. “I guess we did. We should follow him.”

“You do realize he's probably not gonna wanna talk to you, right?” Lila said, as Diego nudged her with his elbow. “What? I'm just calling it as it is.” she whispers.

“Low blow, Allison. Low blow! He clearly just wanted his siblings! Sorry, we gotta go, Allison. I'm sure Five probably wants to leave now.” Klaus said, walking out with Ben. “That was shit ass behavior, even for me. And i know I'm a douche so that says something.”

—

You returned home, sitting on the couch with Ben, Klaus and Five. Five snuggling beside you, Klaus behind him and Ben behind you. Like an imperfect but perfect little family. Five's grip on you tightened, a few tears in his eyes. “I guess i still did care, huh?” he mutters.

“Just ignore those assholes. That'll teach them.” Ben says, trying his absolute best to not be as rude and snarky as he usually is. “Yea! Plus you have us anyways and you, Five. Are never getting rid of our chaotic asses!” Klaus said.

Five laughs a bit, clearly happy. “Yea i know that, dipshit. Apparently i also seem to enjoy the company of said chaotic asses.” you smiled, leaning your head towards Five's shoulder.

What a wonderful family Five had.

[acacia-may]

💌

idk if you've been getting too much of these already so if this one slides by, just wanna say that you are super sweet and deserve everything good that's coming to you.

Awww, Repo, I'm going to start tearing up. You're so sweet! Thank you so much for the kind words and for sending in an ask.

There are so many things I love about you, and I think you are truly a wonderful person. You're kind and considerate and always so much fun to talk to! Your insights into the stories and characters you love so much are always so thought-provoking and everything you create just feels so incredibly canon. So many of your Nagisa takes have become part of my own personal perception of his character forever now, and there are so many of your stories (especially the ones about future Nagisa as a father) that still stick with me long after I've read them. We have had some amazing conversations, and you've also introduced me to one of my favorite games of all time now (and I can't thank you enough for that).

I love that you are always so encouraging too--always building up other creators and finding such positive things to say about their work. You're so generous with your compliments and your feedback, and you're always the first to jump in and encourage your friends' creativity. You're also generous with your time and your offers to proofread some of my stories have been a real godsend and so deeply appreciated by me. I really can't thank you enough to tossing ideas around with me and reading over some of my work. You're also incredibly thoughtful and patient, gently reminding others (me especially) to take care of themselves and not to push themselves too hard.

I smile so much every time I see one of your posts, messages, or asks because you are, honestly, one of my favorite people on the internet, and one of the best things that has happened to me in my time in fandom-world has been getting to become friends with you and having the opportunity to have these amazing discussions and to listen to your amazing insights and ideas about stories and characters that I love. Seriously, you're the best--truly Repo-Net The Great! Cheers & much love to you, friend, and please stop by any time! 💕

[levi-heichous]

i'm a criminal ( i'll take your heart & go ) part 2

part 1 here!! 

pairing: levi x f!reader, erwin x f!reader ( NOT a 3some situation )

word count: 8.6k

content: oral sex ( f receiving ), breeding, infidelity??, lots of drama & angst, daddy kink ( not for levi i'm SORRY ), use of "whore" as unsexy degradation

author’s note: i decided to mix 2 requests into one story because they seemed to harmonise really well! once again, a big shoutout to the requests that were sent to create this story  ( 1 & 2 [ the second request of anon #2 also played a big part in this storyline, but i'll be posting the message in the next part because of spoilers!!!!!] )! 

part 3 to be released in the future! ( i don't wanna say "soon" bc it took me forever to publish this chapter )

mature content. 18+. minors do not interact.

as you lay in bed with captain levi, drawing hearts with your fingertip into the skin of his bare back that faces you, you wonder if time itself can truly heal your scars. the pad of your finger traces over textured skin every time you pass by a healed scratch or gash ( there's plenty on the captain's entire body ) and you see that time doesn't actually heal. it just patches things up to be acceptable, but never the same.

you love levi and he loves you, too. you no longer feel like you belong to the jealousy and greed he's harboured over the past few years; you truly belong to him as a person, not just property. will this suffice as time passes or is this feeling, too, just a temporary fix for the problems you've encountered with him in the past?

you clearly remember the day when commander erwin stomped into the girls' sleeping quarters and had to watch captain levi slowly pull out of you and shove himself back into his pants ( shamelessly, you might add ). instead of blowing up in front of the entirety of the soldiers, the two of them went upstairs to have a civil discussion instead, in which levi counted out and named the cadets that erwin has meddled with since he was put into power. there weren't many, but there was more than the one ( you ) that captain levi ended up with. with the commander's blessing ( read: tolerance ), the captain was happy to have your things moved to his room where you would be allowed to stay during your time as a cadet.

though there was bliss emanating from the both of you, an obstacle that made itself too well known not too long after was the fragility of human life. even with captain levi's presence, the number of close calls was much too high. there were bigger, more important things that captain levi had to prioritise than you when you're out in battle, but he ended up jeopardising them a few times in order to save your life.

a rather ruinous injury in the battlefield had you assigned to bedrest for a month and levi was almost foaming at the mouth as he argued with his commander for hours to retire you. calmly, commander erwin argued that if you weren't part of the survey corps, your presence would no longer be required at the headquarters, so a compromise was met: you were given the title of an honorary survey corps member and you were henceforth a glorified maid. it was clear from the start that fighting titans wasn't sustainable for you and, if anything, you're almost relieved, elated even, about your injury. the only way you'll find yourself in 3d manoeuvre gear again is if there really were no more soldiers left to fight, so death can only come if there was a titan invasion that reached all the way to the survey corps headquarters.

with your new title, it was all too easy to learn how to meet your lover's standards. you were someone who enjoyed cleaning ( the alternative was much worse ) — no groaning or dragging feet when asked to wipe down his office or any other room for that matter. not only were you willing, you were good at it, and these two features are not often found together. if he thought he loved you before...

"stop it. it.. feels weird." a groggy voice washes away the reminiscing and you can't help but smile as you lean in and press a kiss to levi's shoulder.

"why do you have such an aversion to saying it tickles?" in the past, you've tried moving your fingertips along his sides, even going so far as to test his feet, armpits, and tummy, too — but to no avail would he ever admit that he's ticklish.

"because it doesn't, brat." he turns over and, contrary to his annoyed voice, his eyes are warm, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "just because you're ticklish doesn't mean everyone is."

the rolling of your eyes is so easily suspected and he combats it by pressing his lips against yours, scooting closer so he can have your chest flush against his. ever since you've moved in, levi enforced a policy of sleeping nude for easier access each night and morning. the only time he ever thought about retracting it was when you were too comfortable in your bare state and opened the door like that for commander erwin — he left levi's room without even saying what he came to discuss and his cheeks burning bright red.

"should i also start tickling you now to see how you react, sweetheart?" his long fingers reach up to hover above your neck, but you're already cringing and wailing for him to stop. muffling a smug laugh, he replaces his fingertips with his mouth instead and leans in to grab a patch of skin with his teeth where he noticed your usual purple and pink faded to light green, suckling down on it as he trails his fingertips along your protruding clavicle, then down to your chest where he gropes at your plentiful flesh with a soft groan.

"don't you have some drills to oversee?" you mutter with no intention of actually letting him leave; you know damn well he doesn't care about having to watch a bunch of sweaty kids exercise. as if your body's been trained ( it may as well have been with how frequent your escapades with levi are ), you part your legs to wrap one around both of his and pull him closer until you can grind your leaking slit against his thigh. the warm and wet feeling forces a growl to build in his chest and he wastes no time in grabbing a handful of your ass this time, nails digging into the plush skin.

"yes, but i think the drilling you and i are thinking of are quite different," he murmurs against your damp skin. "besides, you wouldn't want me out there frustrated and still horny, do you? imagine how much more running i'll make the cadets do, just to watch—" you cut him off with a sneaky squeeze to his tip and he only laughs in response, somehow entertained by the idea of him being creepy.

"you're so mean sometimes... do you like it when i get jealous or something?" but you already know the answer. though he'd never entice those feelings from you to the same degree he did before, he likes seeing you nestle against him like your rubbing will mark him, or the way your hand squeezes tighter when you two walk by christa; not to mention how much more enthusiastic your hips are when you ask to be on top that night when these things happen.

levi only offers you a knowing grin and he pulls back so you can see it, pushing your shoulder down to keep you flat on the bed as he kisses the tip of your nose. he stares into your eyes for a moment, enjoying the proximity and tenderness of getting to be with you like this. his breath is tangible on your mouth too and you lean up to steal a kiss, earning you another wide smile before he trails kisses down the expanse of your chest, stomach, then the area just above your folds.

oh, he loves stalling and watching you become riled up underneath him. his hands grab the outside of your thighs and he scoots back so he's on his knees, but his torso is close to the bed, head resting on the inside of one of your legs. he's so close, but he's denying you any chance to actually feel him where you're starting to need it the most.

"levi," you grumble, reaching a feeble hand out to try and grab his hair, but it gets shot down in an instant. his eyes are locked on to your puffy slit and the way your nectar glistens with the help of the warm sunlight that illuminates it — the most tempting meal he's ever laid eyes on.

not a second longer is he able to resist, so he indulges himself and dips his head to lick a thick stripe from the bottom of your cheeks, all the way up to your hooded clit, making sure the very tip of his tongue lingers against the sensitive nerves. already, you're squirming and clenching your fists by your side, your lips whispering little pleas of more, more, more. though he acts as if your words and cute little antics fall on deaf ears and blind eyes, he can't hide the way his cock twitches and starts to drip onto his sheets, nor the way his nails start to dig into your skin as he laps his way down to the origin of your sweet honey. his lewd slurps are embarrassingly loud and his accompanying moans are as well, sounding more like he's stumbled upon a world renowned chef's cooking, but your noises are no longer held back and challenge his as your back arches so you lean your hips forward just a bit more to have the tip of his nose press against your throbbing clit.

a large hand hits the side of your ass before he presses down harshly on your tummy to keep you down; he's in control right now. despite not meeting his eyes, you can feel his glare and you try to look anywhere else, but he won't relent unless you give in — you know this. the lifting of his face is felt instantaneously and you panic to look at him now, and only when your eyes meet does he lower himself back down to continue licking up each drop of your slick. this time, his tongue delves inside of you and it's velvet against velvet, the vibrations of his feral moans only driving you closer and closer to ecstasy. the palm on your stomach disappears until all you feel are a few rough fingertips that trail up and down the expanse of your torso to elicit goosebumps as he devours you deeper and more sloppily. his spit is no longer controllable as it mixes with your juices and he finally brings his other hand to press a thumb against your clit, skillfully rubbing it in the circles you taught him to draw months ago.

your release comes suddenly and without warning, but your screams and his name coming off your lips at such a volume make him forgive you right away, his mouth still working on the new influx of your sweet juice until he's satisfied and you're no longer at risk of dripping onto his bed ( not that it matters when he's been ruining it himself ).

"good girl," he murmurs, pushing himself up on his knees whilst wiping his mouth with his wrist. the sun shines from behind in such a way that has him absolutely glowing, as if he's surrounded by an aura; if he asked you right now what you think god looks like, you'd answer that it must be him. isn't levi your god anyways when you worship every inch of him and blindly follow his laws without complaint?

the compliment makes your cheeks burn even deeper with scarlet and you smile down at him, elbows propped up and holding the brunt of your weight with your chest heaving up and down as you catch your breath.

levi shifts to move his back against the wall so his legs are spread out and feet are almost touching the long edge of the bed ( it's adorable that his legs aren't long enough to reach the end, but you'd never say it out loud ).

"c'mere, sweetheart," he coos for you, patting his thick and muscled thighs with his palms to show you your seat. without another thought, your achy joints move to obey so you're straddled on his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck. almost instantly, your face finds the crook of his neck and nuzzles for warmth and comfort, his musky smell almost intoxicating, even after all this time you've spent together. his cock is weeping as it slaps against your tummy and he moves his palm around it in uneven strokes, filling the room with the wet sounds of his indecent act, but it only makes you hungrier for him. you want — no, you need it.

"levi, please," you whisper. even from down here, you can feel the way his jaw tenses with his all-too-wide smile — he wants to hear more. "please fuck me... i miss you! it's been too long and i want you to make me feel full. didn't you say you wanted to fill me with your child? this time is it, i know it. god, please—"

it's only been a few hours since he was last inside of you, but the way you still crave him and are willing to let him achieve his wildest dreams with you makes you irresistible to him. the growl in his chest is riveting and your mouth parts even before he enters you, but when he does, you're in the perfect disposition to whimper out his name. time and time again, he fills you to the brim and even tries to go deeper until his tip is kissing the entrance of your cervix, his cock's crown creating a tiny, but visible bulge at the bottom of your tummy, and yet, your walls create an iron vice that tests his self-control and the pressing urge to just spill inside of you — this time is no different.

in no time at all, sweat mats his bangs to his forehead and he’s panting hard. his fingers are bruising around your hips and he loves the colour that blooms in the shape of his phalanges every so often, today most likely being one of them. each push inside of you is another sound of a wet slap that ricochets off the wooden walls, barely doing anything to cover up his animalistic grunts and your pathetic whimpers. shaking, your palms snake their way to his full cheeks and you lift them up just a bit so he takes the hint to let his eyes meet yours. once they do, you smile and lean in for a sweet kiss, letting your hips move to the rhythm of his whilst he swallows each of your lewd moans. he’s close already, but he doesn’t want to let go of you or pull away from your suffocating heat; tightening his thighs and pressing his feet into the mattress, he wraps an arm around your waist to lift you up and lay you down on the bed, all while keeping himself buried inside of you.

now that you’re beneath him, a wicked smile turns his lips crooked and he lifts each of your legs to have them bend, the backs of your thighs against his chest and your calves on his shoulders. essentially folding you as far as you can go, he begins to piston in and out of you once more, a possessive hand resting on your stomach.

“that’s right, my angel. this is the day we start to see your belly grow. what’re we gonna name the little brat?” he sounds so amused, but the way he clenches his teeth and furrows his brows are a telling sign that he’s about to finish. you only want to assist and make it all the better, to make his words come true, so you loop your arms around your thighs to spread them wider and keep them closer to you, offering every last millimetre of yourself that you can. once again, your zeal proves to him that there’s no one greater in this world deserving of him or all the potential children he's about to spill into you. one final slam of his hips against yours, his heavy balls hitting the curve of your ass as he empties them inside of you sends him falling on top of your chest, his moist forehead pressed to the bed. you can actually feel the throbbing of his tip and the pool that drowns your clenched velvet walls as he spurts every last drop he can ( it’s a miracle that he has anything left, let alone so damn much, when you consider just how often you two are intimate ), allowing you to milk him for all he’s worth. 

“oh, fuck,” he mutters, the feeling of your mixed juices growing uncomfortable when he thinks he can actually notice every drop that drips down the line of your ass and onto his once pristine sheets. with a deep inhale, he ( reluctantly ) pulls out of you and you whine in response to the emptiness, but he’s quick to shush you as he quickly plugs two of his fingers inside instead, fucking his cum deeper and more thoroughly inside of you. “waste not, want not.”

you understand that his goal is to actually put a baby in you, but your insatiable core starts to heat up again with the way his fingertips must be purposely brushing against that special spot buried inside of you  — a single chuckle from him is the telltale sign that you’re actually right. the devil he is, he decides to pursue one more sweet orgasm from you and continues to scissor his digits, feeling the resistance of your cavern, which boggles him; he just had you stretched to the size of his notable girth and yet, you were still so fucking tight. there's no time to waste ( he can hear the cadets asking where the captain is outside ) and he pumps in and out of you quickly, lingering his calloused fingertips against your bundle of nerves as he also works your clit with the pad of his thumb. your breath grows quicker and he relishes in the sight of your tits bouncing with each exhale as you buck your hips, desperate for release.

"that's right, sweetheart. unwind on my fingers." on command, you squeeze around him, almost unbearably so, and you hear a groan from him mix in with your loud keening. he watches with utter excitement as you spurt onto the bed and make an absolute mess for him. "that's my girl."

his beloved sheets are an absolute mess, but so is his angel, and that's all he could've asked for on a sunny sunday morning.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

after a peaceful hour and some of laying on the filthy bed together, an obnoxiously loud knock at the door turns levi's serene smile into a hostile grimace and he kisses your forehead before he hops out of bed, dressing himself because he knows exactly who it is ( if it was erwin, he wouldn't mind opening the door nude with your juices still glistening on him ).

"what, shitty glasses?"

hange's face is uncharacteristically pale and she stutters, uncomfortable with whatever is she's supposed to spit out.

"is she here?" she tries to lean around to see if you're present and when she catches a glimpse of your foot or arm or whatever it is on the bed, she pulls levi out of the room by his shirt collar. "you have to come with me. now."

the captain doesn't even get to bid you a good day before the door is slammed shut, but you're smiling anyways. it wasn't unlike hange to drag whoever was closest into her dungeon to showcase the latest results of her titan experiments.

with a big stretch and clicking joints, you get up to start your day, too. the headquarters was such a big building with only one person hired to clean ( unless captain levi knew a guest was coming or in 'a mood' ), leaving you with little to no free time when the other cadets were hard at work, too. you always start with levi's office and work your way up, then back down to the shared spaces for the cadets. today, just like every other day, you're off to start the cozy routine you've created.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

levi now comprehends why hange looked as if she had seen a ghost and he only mirrors the lack of blood in his features right now. he's actually seeing a ghost, listening to it speak utter nonsense with the intent to haunt him. 

"don't you remember what you told me? what you promised me? our child growing up with humanity's strongest soldier as a father and a noblewoman as a mother! it's going to be the most envied child inside the walls! oh, and that property that we talked about, too? my father kicked off all the people living on it and it's been cleaned thoroughly so we can start our family there any day now, you just say the word!" she drones on in her irritatingly peppy tone about nonsense that would never come true, about a reality that levi would rather die than live in. this isn't what he wanted and he was admittedly the irresponsible one for thinking he could get away with it. "and besides, it'll be good for you and the survival of the survey corps! maybe you can be promoted to commander, too! the king said he was itching to get rid of the survey corps before my father told him about us...."

ever since he fucked the stranger on the night of the military ball, permanently on his shoulders was the heavy weight of guilt from his actions and the way he handled things. though he told her that they probably wouldn't see each other again, she didn't seem to get the hint, even with so many unopened letters that levi refused to acknowledge or reply to. every time you'd see the envelope addressed to him, you'd see the pain in his eyes as he crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage bin and you— you. you've been as sweet as ever, comforting him and telling him that you forgive him for his unfathomable actions. you'd kiss his lips just as lovingly, suck his soul out of his cock like your life depended on it, and still hold him close as you drift to sleep. it took a bigger toll on you to worry and start an argument where there was no victor, so you learned to comfort him and watch him unwind, watch your mercy make him love you more and try harder to be deserving of your soft heart.

he doesn't want to think about how actually seeing this woman might make all of that go away — make you go away. as if her physical presence wasn't enough, the ever so visible bump where her stomach is is... upsetting. levi feels sick to his stomach and he can already see the never ending tears streaming down your cheeks when you realise that he has a baby, just not with you. his will to live just plummeted underground and he wants nothing to do with this entire situation.

"anyways," he hopes to god that at least hange was paying attention while he was contemplating how to get eaten by a titan during the next expedition, "i'll be back in a week or so with the official letter and papers for our marriage, levi. signed by the king and everything! i'll see you then and don't forget to put on your best suit because my father will be here, too." she reaches a hand out to try and hold his, but before there's any skin to skin contact, he already feels like he's been burnt, whipping his hand away from her as quickly as possible.

"don’t come back," is all he offers her and he pushes the chair he's on with an achingly loud scraping noise, turning away before she even makes a move to actually leave or come closer. he turns the knob, but sees that there was no need — the door wasn't actually closed — and he slams the wood open as far as it can go, as hard as he can. on his first step out of hange's stuffy office, he sees your face, also devoid of colour and your hands gripping a feather duster to the point of your knuckles turning white.

as if things couldn't get worse.

you don't even look at him, only a far, far object that you can't even really see, but god, anything to avoid meeting his eyes. even as he grabs your face, shakes you a little bit, and shoves his face into your vision, your eyes don't focus, as if your soul had left your body.

"hey. please talk to me." still nothing. levi doesn't care that the foul woman only a few feet away can see as he tries to kiss you, like you're some cursed princess and he's the only way to turn you back into a human. "sweetheart," he whispers, the desperation oozing from his voice so tangible.

is this it? does he lose you forever?

"baby, look at me." his voice cracks and you've never heard him so heartbroken before, it brings your body to wrap around him out of instinct more than anything, gaze finally finding his. "how much of that did you get?"

still too stunned to actually speak or fully comprehend what's going on, you shrug your shoulders because you truly, really don't know. moisture gathers in your eyes without you even noticing and only when levi's rough thumbs wipe them away do you realise that you've been crying.

"it's nothing — she's nothing. you're the only one that matters to me." his small frame starts trembling and the hold his hands have on you is becoming to grow painful. "if i can't have a future with you, all my work so far has been for nothing. it has to be you for me, no one else." he's pouring out his heart and reaffirming the idea that the only future he sees is with you; these are words he's sleepily murmured to you as you drift to sleep, especially on days when you'd feel inadequate, but they don't comfort you as they once did. how could they when you see the end of all things good for you and the captain in that room? the protective hands on her stomach and sick, twisted smile that's pointed directly at you. levi might've used her to forget you, but she came back to ensure that you're the one forgotten.

"i... have to go," your voice sounds foreign to you and when you pull away from him, it’s as if you can still feel his presence on your cheeks and, oh, how you dearly wish it was still there. you’re not even sure where to go or where you can go without him breaking the door in to hold you, but you try anyways. the fear of footsteps being right behind you disappears as you run down the stairs and when you realise that no one’s chasing after you, you’re not sure if you’re glad that levi’s giving you space or if you’re upset that he isn’t fighting enough by letting you roam free. the dissonance doesn’t last very long with the image of the woman’s stomach holding her child — levi’s child — becomes the only thing you can think of as you quietly sob to yourself in the corner of the empty dining hall, broken down and holding your knees to your chest. 

the pain of your heart clenching is almost unbearable and you think to how levi promised you similar things with you, too: getting married ( he talked about it being just a piece of paper, since he already knew he was bonded to you for life ), having children, and hopefully having enough stability in the future to retire and live on a quiet piece of farmland. your palms fall to your stomach and your lower lip trembles as your blurry vision sees the expanse of your body that levi claimed and sowed, but wasn’t able to reap. your head leans against the wall and you stare at the lines of tables beside you, blinking and breathing growing slower as you berate yourself with thoughts of not being good enough to have levi’s child and not loving him enough, allowing the woman to think that she had any authority to waltz in here, demanding levi’s hand in marriage. the last thing you ask yourself before you drift off is if the bliss you’ve felt in the past few months was worth the agonising pain you’re feeling now... and you aren’t sure what your answer is. 

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

it isn’t clear how long you’ve been asleep, but your ass is sore and your joints ache as your limbs spread out on top of the arms that carry you so easily. slowly, your lids flutter open and you see a mess of blond hair, along with the sharp features of the commander as he climbs up the stairs with you in his hold as if you were nothing more than a sack of flour. 

“s-sir?” 

“i couldn’t leave you on the floor like that. what would levi say if he found you instead of me?” his voice is gruff as he shoves the door of his room open and sets you down on his bed. rather than pacing like he wants to, he crosses his arms over his broad chest as he takes a seat on the chair for his desk adjacent to his bed, his posture immaculate. “he’s gotten himself into quite the predicament, i heard.”

you want to tell him that he’s right and that it’s such a shitty situation that levi himself created, and to tell him the jumbled mess of thoughts that bounce around in your head, but you can’t. you’re still frozen in place, only having moved to rest your back against the wall to sit up and face him. 

“what do you want him to do?” erwin knows that silence might be the only thing to come from you for a while, so he gets comfortable, folding one leg over the other as he leans back and relaxes just a bit. “if he goes with his heart, it’ll be the end of the survey corps and we’ll be left to join the military police, achieving nothing until we’re all eaten by titans... but if he does the logical thing, he’ll save us all, but live an unhappy life.” he muses to himself, expression growing amused. 

even after hearing what hange had to say, he never had time to dissect the issue out loud — how could he when levi started breaking anything and everything fragile within his reach? for now, the small man was sedated with a small dose of tranquiliser for the horses, his brows furrowed, even in a forced state of unconsciousness; an extreme that hange never thought she'd have to execute on levi of all people. 

you break your silence with a faint whisper that erwin struggles to hear.

“i know what he has to do... but i don’t want to live without him, sir.” slowly, as if your limbs were frozen and you’re slowly able to break the ice that kept you from moving, you hug your knees to your chest again, resting your chin on top of your folded legs. “am i being selfish?” the answer is obvious, but perhaps you just need someone who personifies the voice of reason to tell you it. 

“by definition, yes; you’re being quite selfish. isn’t it levi’s and your feelings versus the fate of humanity sitting in your palm? two versus many thousands.” the commander switches his legs and raises a hand to stroke his chin in between his fingers. “though, i will admit that levi’s work ethic might plummet and there’s a very big possibility that he’ll charge straight into a hoard of titans just to avoid returning home. that wouldn’t be very good, either.” 

you nod in agreement to every word he uttered because he’s right. when is the commander ever wrong? 

“go talk to him.” erwin stands now and pushes the chair back into its original place, stalking towards you and helping you off his bed with a gentle hand. “make sure you and levi have a final answer, and if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, you can come to me. this is the one room levi wouldn’t dare try to break into.” 

“thank you, sir,” you mutter, offering a faint smile as you leave the cosy confines of the commander’s room and to the icy, dark one at the end of the corridor. you predict that you’ll be knocking on erwin’s door again soon enough. 

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

the first thing you notice when you open the door is the amount of porcelain and books that litter the wooden floor. none of the items seem to be your things though, so you’re hoping that all this anger he was letting out isn’t pointed at you. the next thing you see is levi’s body laid out on the bed, fully clothed — very unlike him. 

with careful footing, you make your way over to the bed and climb in beside him. as much as your chest seems to be in an indefinite state of pain and that this will only prolong it, you want to indulge, even just for one more moment. your arms snake around his thin waist and you rest your head on his shoulder as your eyes begin to weep without any command. 

the feeling of your trembling body is enough to have him snap out of his nightmare and he looks down at you with the slightest bit of confusion.

“sweetheart,” he breathes, wrapping you up in his arms immediately. “i had the worst dream ever...” when you meet his eyes, he sees the red rimming yours and his brows furrow immediately. who made you cry? and slowly, the memories of smashing everything of his in sight comes back, the meeting with hange and erwin, with hange and that disgusting whore. he grows dizzy instantly, but his hold on you never falters. "sweetheart," he whispers again.

begrudgingly, you pull away and sit up with your legs crossed underneath you, fingers linked together and thumbs twiddling.

"levi... you know what you have to do," you mumble, but you don't agree with your own words. you're putting on a brave face for him because he needs it; he's weak. "it doesn't make sense to let everyone eventually die because of what you want."

what he wants, not what 'we' want.

"everyone is going to die eventually. what does it matter if it's sooner than later? what quality of life do humans even have like this? scared to go outside, starving on the streets? if i meet my end without you, i might as well have not lived at all." the anger from earlier prickles up his spine and he sits up with you now. "i need you and i don't care who i have to resist or kill to have you."

he'll fight for you. he'll kill for you. had this been any other turn of events, you would've thought it to be romantic and taken his hand in marriage right then and there.

"what if it's me that doesn't want that ending, though? what if i'm the one that's sending you to be with her because i want to?" oh, but it's so easy to see through your façade when you're sobbing and shaking like you are now. you're lying and it's so fucking obvious.

levi doesn't even acknowledge what you said — it's implausible and not worth expanding upon.

"we'll run away. i'll plan things with erwin so we'll always have gear and a place to stay... he'll help so no one can find us." he hasn't asked this of the commander yet, but the chances of him declining are so slim. "please, i can't live without you... i don't want to raise a child that isn't ours."

"so you'd be okay with letting that baby grow up without a loving father...? how did that work out for you?" the latter inquiry holds a lot more venom than you want it to and you want to indulge him — indulge yourself — by agreeing to the picture he's painting for you, but the intrusive thought of how he just parroted the same promises to some rich woman months ago, then to you, is something you can't ignore. "you... you cheated on me."

the pain that flashes in his eyes is unmistakable. for months, you've refused to talk about it and were adamant on forgiveness, nothing else, but today is the day you finally let him feel the gravity of his sins.

"you hated when i was just dancing with reiner, a friend, but you get to fuck a stranger and expect me to do nothing about it. if reiner was still around," you heard about reiner and his traitorous deeds and the truth about what he is, but you still mourned the loss of a good friend a while back, "would i get to fuck him, too? so we're even? i get to carry his child and marry him?"

you expect anger and even a slap to the face, but you only see the broken eyes of a man who has crumbled.

"i'd kill him. and i will once we catch up to him." his venomous words hold no poison, only defeat.

"then what about commander erwin?" your jaw flexes with tension. "at least we can trust him to take good care of me." it's your voice that's sharp and filled with irritation. "if i get to do the same with commander erwin and you still want me in the end, then i'll leave everything behind to be with you. i won't feel guilty about the child you're abandoning for your own selfish pleasure."

"okay." your eyes widen and you snap your head to the side to look at him, to look for any trace of a joking smile or just anything to see if he's just playing with you. but you're only met with saddened eyes and defeated, slumped shoulders. "i love you. i love you so much, i want to die. but you're right — i got myself into this mess and if those are your conditions, i'll wait. a year, five years, a decade. however long it takes. i'll wait for you, no matter what happens."

to say you're taken aback would be the understatement of the century.... but you're still trembling with unhappiness and you let your heart win over your head as you nod and get off the bed, fully intent on delivering on your promise to 'even things out.' when you've had time to calm down and think about what it is you're doing exactly ( maybe soon when commander erwin laughs at your silly proposal ), you'll find regret in your heart for what you've done. for now, you think yourself as level-headed and you leave the same way you came in, leaving the door to his messy room wide open.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

"commander," you shout for him and knock your aching knuckles against his door impatiently. captain levi is only a few doors down and you know that he can hear what's transpiring.

"back so soon?" comes his deep voice with a rumbling laugh.

the regret you had saved up for later all comes rushing to you now as you twiddle your thumbs and try to think of a way to express whatever deal you made with levi that won't have the commander pushing you back towards the captain's room, demanding that you two just make up like two bickering kids.

"a-actually... there's something i need to talk to you about, sir... about levi and i— we came to a... a compromise." a thick eyebrow raises with curiosity and he ushers you back inside, shutting the door behind you. unknowing if your legs would be able keep from giving out underneath you, you sit on the bed as you did before, legs crossed under you and one hand on each of your knees. "if you could keep your questions until i'm done, sir... i think i'll lose my train of thought rather easily."

erwin nods and stays standing where he is beside the bed, arms crossed over his broad chest as he furrows his brows with concern.

"so... levi said," you're throwing him under the bus when it was your outrageous suggestion, "if i pursue the life he has with the noblewoman with you, and if i still want him after that, we can get back together. i-i'm not sure how far that means," but you can compromise with yourself, can't you? "as in if we have to get married or anything, and if you already have a wife or lover, i'm so sorry for even bringing this up, sir! i didn't— levi didn't really think it through..."

he looks as if he's digesting every word and turning them into sentences in his mind one by one, slowly understanding what levi ( you ) proposed.

"i'm surprised levi didn't mention that he knows i don't have a lover." dread starts to creep up your spine; maybe you should've left the commander out of this. of course he has a lot on his plate already, what good would the addition of more burdens do? "but i will admit, it's not because i'm celibate or abstaining. i've lost any cadet i've had a connection with in battle, so i gave up."

his arms uncross and he starts to kneel on the bed, hands reaching to rest on the mattress at either side of your hips, lips parted in a wide grin. he's close, too close for comfort.

"but i must also tell you that i've wanted a taste ever since levi started telling me about you. he'd tell me how sweet you are on his tongue during meetings about battle. in court, he whispered about how tight you squeeze his cock, even when you aren't cumming." his breath grows ragged and so does yours in response. "when we met with the head of the military police, he sent me a note with all the names you like to be called while being fucked and where to push and pull to have you moan like a bitch in heat."

your lids flutter and all you can smell is him, so manly and intoxicating. you've never thought of commander erwin as more than an authority figure, it's almost dizzying how quickly you're able to adopt him as a physical partner. he's the exact opposite of levi, your first and only: where levi is small, erwin is big, where levi is big, erwin's even bigger. the dark hair in your dreams is now replaced with shining gold and you fall victim to the seducing words of your commander.

"and now, he's conceding? after all that teasing, he's letting his sweet bunny run head first into the lion's den?" erwin lifts himself up to undo his belt, the sound of just the buckle making your thighs clench together. "he must really love you, and now it's my turn to experience why."

his mouth is on yours in an instant and you melt underneath him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he undresses himself until you decide that it's taking too long. clumsy, small fingers undo each knob from its clasp on his shirt, and it takes much longer than if he were to do it alone; his pants and underwear are already messily strewn on the floor ( another difference from levi — the smaller would fold it all neatly ) and he's waiting for you to finish with an amused, patient smile. only when you finish does he grab your wrists to settle them on your lap so he can shrug his shirt off himself, revealing broad shoulders and a torso filled with scars similar to levi's.

commander erwin is absolutely breathtaking in his naked glory, each of his flexing muscles bulging and just begging for you to worship them with your mouth.

"god," you whisper mindlessly. he's mesmerising without having to do anything.

the corners of his lips twitch with the urge to spread wider; it's been a while since he's had an intimate moment or heard himself being revered the way he likes. the sudden confession he made of wanting a taste of you was entirely true. it was difficult to watch you walk in the hallways without purposely inhaling deeper to take in your scent, to keep himself from asking levi if you tasted just as heavenly today when he'd come into a meeting with your nectar still staining his chin, both of your faces bright red.

erwin is a wise man; he won't take this moment for granted when levi could burst in at any moment to take you away.

"now let's see if the little one was exaggerating or not," his voice is playful, as is the gleam in his eyes, when he leans in to press his lips to yours. instantly, your lids flutter and you wrap your dainty arms around his neck to pull him closer, mouth parting to let him in, to let him wash away any trace of levi you'd had lingering on you. each flick of his tongue has you moaning underneath him and he picks you up so easily, resting your back on the bed so he's hovering over you, almost swallowing you up. the heat that pools in your stomach, in between your legs, is undeniable.

where levi's taste was sweet, the commander is heartier, as if levi was a freshly baked cake and erwin was a home-cooked meal fit for soldiers. levi would send you into a state of intoxicated dizziness, but erwin sends adrenaline rushing through your veins instead.

"sir," you breathe out in between loud, wet kisses, his large hands unclasping your buttons with much more fervour and accuracy than you did his. "a-are you sure?" but the question is more directed at yourself than him, and any resistance you've held on to slips away with your shirt and flimsy bra, to the floor with his discarded clothing as well.

"i think we're past formalities if we're soon to be wed, aren't we, darling? daddy doesn't mind." the single word has your head spinning and he takes this chance to slip off your pants and underwear off the long expanse of your legs, tossing them carelessly over his shoulder.

"daddy," your voice is a whisper and you throw the word out to give it a taste, see how it moulds on your tongue. it doesn't feel right at first, but when you see the beaming grin on erwin's face, you tell yourself that it's perfect. "daddy, i really... really want to feel you."

erwin knows that preparation is necessary, especially when dealing with someone of his girth and size, but your quiet begging, the title, the irresistible sight of you on his messy bedsheets... all the feedback he's gathered through a slew of previous partners gets thrown out the window as he lets lust overtake him. if anything, he'll have to blame levi for speaking of you in such a lewd manner so openly, making erwin's curiosity crash through the roof.

he only nods in response, a hand grabbing at the base of his length so he can give it a couple of steady strokes until he's ready to press against your dripping slit. as much as he knows that he has to prep you, make sure you're ready to take him, the temptation of your ring of muscle squeezing around his tip has his mask of self control faltering and he pushes into you crassly, the hand wrapped around his base steadying itself on your hip for balance.

the guttural moan that slips from his mouth makes your eyes fly up to meet his eyes that've rolled into the back of his head. with your small hands, you grab on to his biceps and dig your nails into his skin, lower lip caught in between your teeth as you hold back grunts of slight pain; he's big and you're sure that no amount of prior foreplay could've prepared you enough to take him without the burning sensation that paints you from the inside out right now.

"just like heaven," erwin murmurs to himself. he sits inside of you, tip already kissing your cervix, and once his shoulders are no longer tense, he returns his gaze to you and cups your cheek with a large, calloused hand. "you alright, darling?"

you nod just once, despite the tears that've yet to dry at your waterline.

"levi wasn't exaggerating in the least, sweetheart," he mumbles again, the mention of the onyx-haired man just a few doors away making your heart twinge with guilt — you've ruined yourself; you're not just his anymore....but it's what he deserves, right? critical thinking is an inaccessible skill at the moment and the pang of apologetic feelings flutter away when the commander — your commander — starts to move his hips, pumping in and out of you at his own brutal pace.

the sound of the headboard rocking against the wall is thunderous, as opposed to the creaks you're used to, and so are erwin's moans of your name over and over.

crystal blue eyes bore into yours, rendering you helpless as your limbs melt into jelly ( maybe the feeling of him pressing urgently into that spongy bundle of nerves inside of you have to do with it, too ). his stare is so intense and you feel as if you've never been so bare before, giving the entirety of your self to your commander, and he takes everything you have to offer.

his pearly whites grind together with sweat beading and dripping down his temple as he finds purchase on both your hips with both of his bruising hands.

"i'm gonna fill you up, doll," he grits out and his hips piston against yours, sending your back arching and vision fuzzy with the merciless pounding against the most sensitive corner of your clenched walls.

"d-daddy— oh, god," is all you can get out, nails digging into his arms once more as you feel yourself tighten around him, and with one last thrust inside of you, you can feel him spill inside just as you reach completion and become undone, like a ribbon on a present. toes clenched and back arched, sweat creating a slick dew on your entire body — erwin swears he's never seen a sight so perfect and wills himself to commit what lies underneath him to memory.

"fucking beautiful," he whispers, chest heaving with deep breaths. slowly, he slips out of you, not without a groan, and you feel the loss instantly, clamping your legs together with embarrassment.

the bed thumps and bounces beside you as the commander lays beside you on his side, a serene smile you've never seen before graced on his lips.

"so, did i convince you to take levi up on that offer?" weren't you the one that came here to persuade him?

your eyes fight the cloud of drowsiness that, as per usual, takes over you post-orgasm, blinking slowly, but hard to keep yourself awake as much as you can.

"yes, sir," you mumble sleepily, back to the honourifics once again. the sound of commander erwin's rumbling laugh is the last thing you hear as you descend into a heavy sleep, the faint image of levi's broken expression painting the back of your eyelids before everything fades to black.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

[bey0ndthisearthshit]

Lesser of two evils

What do I do?

Which route should I choose?

Unhappy with or without you

Familiarity or the unknown

This relationship I've since outgrown

Might as well be on my own

Pussy dryer than my phone

I have to beg and plead for your attention

By the time you reply I'm full of resentment

Giving me scraps of love, leaving me deprived

Going periods of time with no contact, don't know if you're alive

I'm so simple, I'm not hard to please

But with you it's like pulling teeth

Barely respond to messages, you just read

Yet I'm the one always jumping to fulfill your needs

Don't get the same in return

Can't you see how much I long

How much I ache

How much I yearn

Treating me like a subject you don't wanna learn

Should I continue to put up with your inconsistency

Or take my chances out here in these streets

They've never been for me

I've always been a homebody

I'm getting tired of my man ignoring me

Wish I had a man exploring me

Enjoying me, adoring me

The odds were already against us

Being so far apart

Don't you think you should put forth more effort

To stay in my heart?

Why would you leave your girl susceptible to another man's advances

We've had too many discussions, given too many chances

I shouldn't have to repeat myself or threaten to leave

For you to pay some fuckin attention to me

That somebody else would give freely

I put in too much time with you

I don't want to date anyone new

Don't want what the single life would put me thru

I'm tryna be understanding and patient

But you've gotten too damn complacent

Feeling like all these years with you were wasted

Until you have the time to give me

Then all of sudden you expect me to stop what I'm doing and feel lucky

To be receiving the bare minimum

And I do

Cuz with you it's what I'm used to

But I wonder if it's worth

Finding somebody else or making this work

[angelcloves]

Sticks and Stones does deserve more love from the greater TOH community IMHO. I'm proud to be a regular commenter, but it's kinda lonely being the only one. I love reading others opinions too! I feel so bad for you every week when Friday rolls around and yet again, I'm the only one leaving a review. You've crafted an amazing mystery and packed it to the brim with great characterization, that should be acknowledged and appreciated. -San_Rafael_Swell

hang on wait im tearing up. i didnt know you followed me on tumblr. now im glad i didnt post that i have columbo in my comments section because that would have been embarrassing for me but maybe an ego boost for you? i appreciate seeing you pop up in my email every friday. i really really do. i reread your analysis all the time behind the scenes and cackle when you predict things accurately because its such a RUSH. but i cant just tell people exactly what theyve nailed yknow? its tempting to be like 'just wait until chapter 26' or whatever but i wanna keep you guys on your toes. expect the unexpected. ive got lots of good things planned and im glad youre sharing your fridays with me <3 and to everyone else: dont be afraid to discuss! turn my ao3 comments into a message board! this level of mystery isnt going to be as prevalent in burning bridges so enjoy it with s&s while you can! its been formulated specifically to be picked apart! so pick it apart baby!

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Forty

Feniseca Tarquinius Eruca

Pairing: Haikyuu!! x Fem!Reader

previous | next | 2099

OSAMU'S P.O.V.

Way before I met Y/N, when the world was normal, I was a volunteer firefighter like I told her. Though I'm sure nobody ever believed me when I said that, there's not much more that I can do than tell you my side of my life story.

Growing up, my brother was always my biggest rival. Though we'd fight, we'd quickly get over it and move on. We pushed each other to be the best we could be. And that is, well, until I no longer heard from him.

It was almost like he didn't want me to know anything about his life. Maybe it had to do with the reason why he went to jail, I'm not really sure. But it was like a switch was flipped. I went from seeing him almost every day to never hearing from him again. But I did what I thought was right, and let him be. Messages that were left on read were deleted and conversations were removed. I figured he wanted nothing to do with me, so I left it at that.

I still continued my life. I went to work every day like it was normal, but over time I became so tired of doing the same thing over and over. I began to feel as though a piece of me was missing. But I kept on going because putting out fires was the only way I could keep myself from going crazy.

"Yo," one of my coworkers whistles at me as he waves a hand in front of me. I had hardly forgotten I was eating my lunch in the breakroom. "What's up with you lately, man? It's like you're some kind of ghost."

"I'm sorry," I shake my head as I pack up my half-eaten sandwich. "I just got lost in my thoughts."

"Yeah, you do that a lot. Hey, what're you doin' after this? Wanna go out a grab a drink?"

"I don't know," I respond with a straight face as I shake my head.

"Well, what else are you gonna do? Work out for the hundredth time this week?" he laughs.

"That was the plan," I shrug as I place my sandwich into my lunch bag.

"Aw, come on. Let's go hang out tonight. Drink's on me." When my coworker grins like an idiot, I look up at him and see my brother staring back at me in his reflection. The two of them have a lot in common. Perhaps that's why I always sit down beside him even though he annoys the shit out of me a lot of times.

"Fine, fine. I'll go with you," I smile softly.

"Yes!" he shouts happily. "Thanks man, you won't- "

"As long as you buy me two," I interrupt before he gets too excited, holding up two fingers toward him. "Two drinks."

He laughs loudly at my comment before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into his side. "You drive a hard bargain, Miya, but you've got yourself a deal."

Later that night, I go out with my coworker, Takumi, for drinks. He did end up buying me those two drinks that he offered, however, he got to choose what they were. And now that I'm two seriously strong drinks in, the two of us are laughing as though we've known each other our whole lives.

"So," Takumi hums as he holds up his third vodka drink, "you've been depressed for the past five months. I know that's when your brother stopped messaging you. I wasn't going to say anything at work but now that we're here it's time we talk about it."

"Listen, Ts- Takumi," I correct myself. "I'm not depressed. I just feel unmotivated sometimes."

"Well then get motivated," he replies with a stupid grin. "Your brother will come around when he's ready. You know that, right?"

"I don't know. I never know what he's thinking anymore."

"That's only 'cause you haven't talked to him. What you gotta do is let it go. There's nothing you can do about the past. If he contacts you, then that's great, but you can't stay in this funk for the rest of your life. You've gotta work on meeting new people who are good for you."

As much as I don't want to admit that he's right, it is true. Atsumu's always been the one to pull me out of situations like this and now that he's gone, I've let myself get progressively worse and worse.

After that discussion, I tried my best for the rest of the night to act like a normal person. I failed a few times at making some connections, but over time I got a bit better.

Just as I thought my life was beginning to improve, I was meeting new people and making good friends like Takumi encouraged me to, the outage happened. All I wanted was a new, honest like of happiness without being dependent on anyone else, but once it all happened, my first thought was to find my best friend- my brother.

It might have been overdramatic, my whole guns blazing thing when I met Y/N, but I had just fallen back into that pit of dependency.

Now that he's gone, I don't know what the hell my life is going to look like. Takumi might tell me that I've finally got the closure I was always searching for, but I don't even know what that means. Atsumu's gone. What kind of closure is that?

I'll never forget how overjoyed I was when I heard his voice over the radio for the first time. I knew it was Atsumu in an instant even though it had been so long since I had seen him.

Even though I knew my brother wasn't quite as excited to see me, it was strange how he behaved that night. It was almost like there was a reason he didn't want to be part of the group, and not for the reason I thought.

It was odd, I still remember him calling our group 'cursed'.

previous | next | 2099

want to join the taglist? Click here for more

Taglist: @isentsworld

[whentheresmoonlight]

Ok I read your post. Literally sat down with my cup of morning coffee first thing in the morning and read it start to finish. I was busy traveling which is why I'm just getting back to you now though, by ask because my followers probably aren't expecting a reblogged discussion of top/bottom dynamics on my otherwise sfw blog.

So let me know if I'm getting this right:

Like, Bakugo wanting to give something to Izuku he would never give anyone else (the vulnerability, I mean!!! not, y'know, access to his... god, just forget it). And their relationship has shifted so fundamentally since when they were kids, multiple times, and opening up (figuratively!!) in such a way to Izuku is just another way for him to shift from whatever toxic shit they had going on earlier to the mutual love and understanding and willingness to be vulnerable with each other they have now. I don't even know if that makes sense. The point is, I totally hc them as vers now.

Also Izuku taking charge. It really is such a huge part of his character, becoming stronger and a leader and more confident and it's so easy to set that aside and focus on his cute, bubbly side but my man's got both! Honestly it's why I tend to avoid fics in general, and fandom too (tho I'm weak and couldn't stay away from mha/bkdk tumblr). I'm always afraid that the versions of characters in my head will be fanonized. I hope I didn't do that to Izuku and Kacchan, ykwim? :| (If you ever wanna like, idk, 👉👈 check out one of my fics and tell me if you think I got them right, that would be cool but no worries if not.)

Also I get what you mean about the feminized Izuku, no shade to anyone who likes that (I mean, he did wear a maid costume in MHA Smash and he does look cute with puppy dog eyes and bunny ears) but omega/bunny/thicc/size-difference Izuku isn't really my thing because... Well, I prefer canonverse too and I've rewatched dvk2 like four times and for me it really hammers home that their power dynamic has evened out so any dom/sub-type dynamic doesn't feel like it fits.

[also re: soyboy. If you check my blog on mobile, it has the urban dictionary definition of soyboy as the header. Plus the first syllable of my irl name sounds like "soy" so that's why I picked it haha :) ]

I'm so flattered that you bothered to read all that word vom! I hope that you're traveling for something fun, or at least that the travels go well. And yeah, please, keep your blog sfw if that's what it is, lol. I'm such a mess in that respect.

But yes, I'd say you've distilled my opinion! Thank you, haha. Squeezed some good puns in there as well. I'm glad you've been pulled over to vers, tho 😈 I know I said that I wasn't trying to convert you, but let's face it, I'm always lowkey trying to convert people, hahahaha. I wish I weren't but I just want people to like what I like, lol.

The way you broke my heart when you said you avoid fics 💀 Let me send you recs! I think I've got an idea of your taste and I can PROMISE quality! However, avoiding fandom is a good choice, haha. Like, I'm happy about all the friends I'm making, and I have a very visceral need to have many many bkdkbks to scream about our boys with, but at the same time, there are a lot of ways in which I was happier in past fandoms where I wasn't involved in the fandom beyond reading and writing fanfic. I could engage with only the content I enjoyed much easier. So, you know, some of this, some of that.

I'd totally read your stuff! Message me or otherwise lmk what one you want me to try and I'll word vom at you again!

[vimbry]

need to get some tmbg analysis out of my head again. "I left my body" is one of my absolute favourites, and I wanna discuss those lyrics.

the theme of the song is pretty self-evident. "I left my body, and I went on a journey / and I forgot where I left my body" isn't literal yet, tho. it's the experience of depersonalisation beforehand. they haven't felt themselves for a while already.

"they're gonna tow you if they think you're abandoned / you've got to act like you're not abandoned" seems to be about not letting on your struggles, maybe for fear of an extreme response, like being placed in hospital. so, on the surface, the narrator continues as normal. upon first few listens, I actually thought this was "tell you", and had more or less the same thought process. except instead of being sectioned, it was more about feeling judged by others for being vulnerable and/or the guilt over making people concerned about them. really, the line could be a mixture of both.

"I left a notebook with all of my good ideas / keywords encoded cryptographically" very much suggests a suicide note. the defining reasons behind their recent emotional state and their attempt can't be easily understood by anyone else but themselves.

"I left my body with the old landlady / but I don't know if she read the directions" the narrator does attempt to confide in one person, maybe in a (subconscious) effort to save themselves, vent their problems, have someone talk them out of it. but the person they talk to doesn't see anything out of the ordinary, and doesn't get the message.

"there must be something you can use on the carpet, someone might want that electric blanket" feels to me like a focus on wanting to stay as unobtrusive as possible, even in their potential final moments. they downplay and almost apologise for the mess they've made in the process, it shouldn't be too much trouble to clear up after. the second line is their "positive" spin on how at least what they've left behind could benefit others.

"unfinished manuscript and tungsten ring / my plastic hip is going to be worth something" is a reference to goals that were never met. the ring may be a connection to someone else, or something they never had the chance to use in the end. similarly to the previous lyric, the plastic hip is how they can only think about how much more useful a person they'll be in death.

"I took the folding knife and the bat repellant soap" overtly the method of suicide. I still haven't really been able to tie the second part into the narrative, but a knife in the context of everything else is very obvious.

"I left my body, and right away I knew I'd made a mistake / I left without my senses, and I can't see anything" the immediate regret after the impulsive act, realising that they weren't in the right frame of mind up until now.

"I'm waiting endlessly at the receptionist at the desk / I'm searching high and low, but I don't see anyone here" fortunately, I don't think the narrator's attempt is successful. the song is about a point where they're unconscious still, but not dying.

[dishtothedeath]

I am pulling at straws my guy || Haruki 3.4 || RE: Clothes, Motive || ATTN: Alfie, Giselle, Bonbon

Right, the motive. Unless this was truly just a kill for fun and boredom, this motive would definitely have been at least a small incentive...right? Only an hour to go over all of this, and he felt they were still treading on water as the time ticked on.

"... In terms of incentive it was people we either loved or hated...? I think... telling us to kill right? So I guess it's just... who here is the most likely to be influenced by someone else telling them what to do...

Uhm... I knew my person would never want me to kill... so it was somewhat logical for me to decide he was fake. Not saying it was easy, especially in the Malwart, just that I think it bothered others more."

As for those he couldn't fully clear out.. to be honest? He wasn't all too sure about what any of the others went through. So at least for him, that's where his prodding for most could start and end.

Leaning over to Jun'ya, he whispers to the other for a second, before turning back to face forward.

"...Alfie you've been in Bonbon's room more than most I'd assume... or uh... Giselle too. You guys can confirm Bonny has absolutely no green and brown cloth in his room...? No one else can vouch for him so... I'm not even sure how relevant the clothes are in clearing someone at this point though... Uh... also less important, but maybe check the nails of the person next to you if you have the chance, it likely won't come up as anything, but there's no harm in... checking."

Wringing his hands, he looks to be avoiding something, but there's no time for that. Just need to buckle down and say it.

"Maybe I'm reading the room wrong, but as of now it seems like if we can't be confident, people are just going to vote you Bonny... you seem to have some ideas on things, and I don't wanna make it a proof of burden on your innocence but... I can't think of anything at this scene that points to anyone specifically even when pairing people together... except you... requirement to be strong, accurate with throws, can perform a quick cleanup that he's boasted about, and...

Of everyone you seemed to want to be in the Malwart the most. To... see your person I can only guess. And... I know you're overly conscious of cameras, between being in your room once and... the other time."

He remembered watching Bonbon in front of the TV screens, the almost eerie nature of it all. Beautiful, but off. Mesmerizing to watch, but like the dancer himself had been in a trance.

"I know you don't want to hurt people... so... I guess I'm asking you to help me figure this out... since we don't actually know how much was set up prior... and 35 minutes to do what they needed, plus 10 after for sending the message then running off... I know you could do an entirely new face in 15 or less... so touching up some spots... that wouldn't be like anything at all.

...Mind pointing a finger at someone and give something to back it up other than they hate you? I'm good for anyone doing that, not just you by the way. Just think we need to get the ball rolling even as we discuss basics simultaneously."

They no longer have the luxury of time to do otherwise, after all.

[hauntedelation]

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

Pics from Google, I do not own.

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 — He was a patient man most days. You liked to test him and his unpredictable tolerance. One day Bucky presents you a small token to jog your memory of just the kind of man he is.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — Black Female Reader x Mob!Bucky Barnes, Black Female Reader x Peter Parker (platonic)

𝐀/𝐍 — I was partially afraid to post this one, I don’t know why but I hope anyone who reads likes it! I was thirsty for something like this and couldn’t let it go. The title is from a Weeknd song. Though, his song Tell Your Friends definitely fits Mob!Bucky’s vibes more. I thought of that while writing this.

(I included Russian speech in this, since it was a hc between me and my friend about this Bucky. I tried my best to review each translation so that the meaning fit. If it doesn’t look right please, feel free to correct me! At the top of the fic is a rough translation)

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 — 7.4k

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — smut (18+ please), oral (male receiving), fingering, pussy slaps, exhibitionism, humiliation and punishment, dacryphilia, anal play, praise kink, age difference (reader is early 20s, Bucky is late 30s), power imbalance, possessive behavior, manipulation, alcohol consumption, mentions of Bucky losing sleep, jealousy, Bucky is mean here, slight dubcon just to be sure, mentions of guns 

Here is my masterlist if you enjoyed ♡

──────✧──────

Мой ангел - My angel, Ты такая красивая - You’re so beautiful, Yспокойся - Relax/calm down.

──────✧──────

James insisted that you bring yourself over to his house today, for the man 'needed to see you.' 

 He gave the six-digit code to the front gate a long time ago. However, anytime you were at his place, the entryway was already taken care of.

 So you couldn't exactly remember the code arrangement. You asked him again an hour after he sent that text, swiftly throwing in a "Maybe, I'll think about it," because the man got on your very last nerve a week before.

 He wrote to you apprising, "Sweet Angel, you can't be wearing the clothes that you do in front of my associates." You remember the scoff you gave the instant you viewed the message.

 "You are my girl, you know that? I don't wanna have to remind you."

 You read and reread what he typed out. Each time his voice sounded louder in your ear like he was right there speaking it. Bucky wasn't wanting a further discussion, and he wasn't allowing a fight. 

 A pout was embedded on your face as you sat in your apartment, thinking it over.

 James was a possessive man with you, incredibly so when it came to strangers or his friends. And you understood that. You held your respect for him, never forgetting everything he sacrificed for you. His time, his vulnerability. 

 You were the one with the keys to everything, and you were starting to slip

 There was a flirt inside you that you couldn't ever help. Maybe that's how you've always been, or maybe it was how young and untamed you were. Either way, Bucky didn't seem too keen on getting used to it anytime soon. 

 You loved talking with people, it didn't matter what the topic was about or who it was with. You conversed and you charmed. You noticed the way certain people responded, how could you not take a liking to it?

 Yeah, the older man appreciated it, he was proud to see how good you were with all the people at those parties. Something about it rubbed him slightly too much in the wrong way.

 It was all friendly, how couldn't he see that? 

 You liked the way Tony and Sam had to avert their eyes whenever you passed by. Even with Steve, Bucky's best friend and one of the most prudish men you had ever met. 

 Whenever the blonde stumbled over his words, hesitantly eyeing your body in one of your sundresses, a thrum of gratification coursed through your limbs. You had pride in your beauty, embracing your flaws along with anything else. There didn't seem to be much sense in dampening it.

 At the end of the day, you knew where your loyalties lay. The stoic old man with the shiny prosthetic, forever that dreamy look to his handsome features; he had your heart in his worn hands.

 Yet, you weren't in the mood to listen today, certainly not in the mood to change yourself. That pride you had inside you burned too bright, and you didn't mind testing him today. 

 Bucky lived far from where you did, away from the city and away from any neighbors. The stretching driveway was off a dirt road from a two-lane highway. 

 You packed the thinnest sliver of clothing that was classified as a bikini and sent him a message noting that you were on your way.

──────✧──────

 Where his house resided was pretty. He took care of a garden in the front, liked to have flowers planted elaborately, and a place for a small pond. He mentioned one day how keen he was on koi fish. You would feed them together now and again.

 He owned the land in the back, and it stretched as far as the eye could see. Every inch of grass was clipped to perfection. He had trees towering clear to the roof of his house, which provided some shade to parts of the area. 

 The silence of the wilderness covered you when entering his domain. Buck appreciated the beauty of privacy, but Christ did it take a long drive over. He tried convincing you to stay closer, but you were headstrong. You had to be close to campus.

 The man was nowhere to be seen by the time you arrived at his backyard. And you hadn't thought much of it. At eleven o'clock in the morning, the sun and the heat were beating down heavily on your skin. You were thankful you decided to tie your braids back from your neck.

 His usual men stood their guard on the perimeter of his property. At the sight of your car, they hadn't paid you any mind. Two you could see were posted at each corner, high up on the metal structures. 

 Each one brandished assault rifles in their hands and sunglasses on their faces. 

 Three, who you recognized from the usual visits to Barnes' home, had been assigned by the pool. They were around your age, with just enough experience under their belt to qualify for that job. The boys were polite, always were when you were around.

  Especially, Peter, he was one you had become the most acquainted with in the passing months. It was really due to him being closest to your age. 

 He was cute, nothing you wanted to deny. Peter had a nice head of chestnut-colored hair, and dark, dark brown eyes. 

 You kept that bond friendly, no sense in pushing things further when they didn't need to. He wasn't one who made inappropriate advances. He was there for you when you sought out someone to vent about this fast lifestyle.

 Bucky? No, he didn't require any of the guards to be so close. The man didn't need any of them. He was very active with his career, never slipping or softening on those skills he honed all those years. 

 You suppose he did it for you, to be able to let some of his stress go. He couldn't enjoy the time he had with his girl if he was worried about outside threats most of the time. 

 When he was around, he wanted to give you his full attention.

 After shouldering your tote full of items, you unlocked the iron gate and made your way to one of the tables. The pool was uncovered, the water an inviting blue, and the surface calm. Its body expands much of the length of the backyard patio space.

 Bucky had white lounge chairs surrounding each stone dining table. A small vase of carnations decorated the surface of each structure. At the one closest to the back door, you decided to set your bag down.

 You acknowledged the three guards and raised a hand to wave to Peter. The other young man remained stiff, handgun strapped to their hip and spine straighter than an arrow. But you caught the tip to Peter's head, the smile on his lips. 

 His clothing, along with the other men, was different from what was normally worn. No pressed suits, no constricting ties.

 Today, everyone wore combat shorts and white t-shirts. You were seconds away from opening your mouth, inquiring about why. It doesn't take you long, a small smile graces your lips and you resume unpacking. 

 You begged and begged James to cut his men some slack while at his home. It was getting hotter out, you hated seeing them cook in the sun. 

 'Let them wear something more comfortable. They can't focus if they are dying in the heat. It'd help with productivity anyway.' Bucky wouldn’t pay you any mind about that, he knew his men were trained rigorously for those kinds of conditions.

 He seemed to be feeling generous now, you reflected.

 It took no time to get yourself situated, your cover-up was abandoned almost immediately. And you were itching to do so. Beads of sweat and the fabric had begun to stick to your skin uncomfortably. 

 You laid a beach towel over the lounge chair, the drag of its legs on the pavement echoed through the empty yard. You shuffled it until it was in the sun rays, adjusting the back to lay flat. 

 In your bag, you had left your cell phone, your change of clothes and water. You gathered a book you had been meaning to start in your hands and brushed over the spine of it.

 Truthfully, you did want to show off what you picked out for today. This was the first time you were wearing this bathing suit, and you loved how it looked on you. Already you could sense multiple pairs of eyes on your skin.

 It would make him say something, you knew that. The article could have been something he bought—you remember picking this one out with a best friend one day. The point was, it didn't matter. When he said something to you he meant it, and...

 Bucky never fucked around when voicing how he felt. You withheld the knots forming in your gut, centering on holding ground in this disagreement and your eyes on the book in your hands.

 The collection of pages were flipped. As you laid on your stomach on the chair, you started to feel like a kid in the library again. 

 The sun provided an adequate amount of light for you to read, and here and there a fresh breeze blew through to cool down your warming skin. In the back, you couldn't hear anything but the birds in the wood. It was perfect, for a little while there you enjoyed the serenity.

 A shadow was cast over your head by the time you reached the first chapter.

 Your brow furrowed, remembering distinctly that it wasn’t forecasted to be a cloud in the sky. It was clear all morning. The book was marked and closed shut. You braced one of your elbows down to hold your torso up, and sat the book on the chair with your other hand.

 You tried to keep your mouth from falling open subsequently gazing upward.

 He was swirling that brown liquid in a crystal glass. Where you would usually find the costly pressed fabric of his suit pants were his bare legs. Hair painted his skin, and muscle bulged through. He had on jet-black shorts with nothing but a pair of shades covering his eyes and a fluffy white towel over his shoulder.

 You weren't conservative when dragging your eyes over his stomach and his chest. The silver chain of his dog tags hung just over his sternum, the metal plates brushing together.

 Bucky hadn't been shaving for most of the past two months. He came to embrace his beard, even with the dash of salt in the brown color. 

 He knew that you liked it, there had to have been dozens of times you looked at him under your lashes, heartening him to grow his facial hair. You liked the light burn that was left on your skin, he liked making you writhe.

 "Where've you been?" You start.

 Bucky uses his vibranium hand to nudge the glasses down the bridge of his nose. The man takes his time answering you. He follows the curve of your back as you laid there, lingering on the swell of your behind and your thighs.

 "Hm..I was busy with things."

 He smiles real pretty at you and you feel your heart spike in your chest. You tell yourself that you're here for a reason and that you aren't going to relent on any of it. James could be persuasive and damned good at it.

 With your head on straight, you could try your own hand at it.

 You hum and don't give him a reply. Your feet kick inattentively as you lean your head in your hand, dropping your eyes to the book cover.

 "What're you reading, pretty girl? Don't think I've seen your head in a book since you were in your classes."

 Your jaw clenches and you push the book out to read the title. You can't remember what the entire synopsis was but it had started to get good before he arrived. 

 "'S about this woman who disappears, kidnaps herself. Her husband is a suspect and starts to get blamed for it."

 He hummed, "Isn't that from a movie we watched?"

 James takes a slow sip of his drink and moves to set it down the glass on the stone table. He folded the towel as well and placed it beside the glass. 

 "Not too long ago. The blonde woman 'n Batman in it?"

 "That's the one," you confirmed.

 When he shifted about, the gold in his arm caught the sunlight just right, twinkling in your eye and almost leaving you mesmerized. You moved the book further away, adjusting your body so that you were sitting upright on your towel.

 James had removed his sunglasses when he put his drink down. And now you were given the part of him that always rendered you weakened.

 Long lashes framed his lids, and had the sun been away he would have noticeably squinted down at you. He was already doing so, rubbing his index and thumb pads together. Your ears picked up the mechanical whir. Those hearts were going in that head of his.

 "Stand up, Princess."

 That same pout comes back to your lips. You can feel your uncertainty cloud over your brain. The moment he laid his hands on your skin you knew everything would change. You didn't want it to. 

 But you missed him.

 He had been busy that week. You recall back the last time you saw him, close to two weeks ago.

 James gave you his hand while you pulled yourself up. And it slipped down until you felt his palm slowly warming your lower back. You maneuvered until you were directly in front of him, basking in the scent of his cologne.

 "C'mere," he groaned wistfully. He urged you closer and secured both his arms around your back and shoulders, mindful of your pulled-back hair.

 His beard brushed against your hairline, palms smoothing up and down your skin. Before you knew it, your body relaxed under his touch; you wound your arms around his broad back.

 "I missed you, my sweet girl," James murmured his thoughts into your temple and laid scratchy kisses where he could. 

 "Been too long, I'm sorry about that."

 "It's okay." Your voice was muted against his chest but the man heard you plainly. Bucky brought his hand to cradle the side of your face and slid his thumb over your cheekbone, brushing the baby hairs close to your ear. 

 He pressed his lips to the space between your brows.

 "You didn't miss me?" Bucky teased.

 "Of course I did, James."

 You moved your head away and got a good look at his face. He wasn't sleeping much, his sunglasses had obscured the dark circles from your view. The hair that Bucky normally kept faded was falling in loose curls over his forehead. His beard grew down his neck, covering his Adam's apple.

 A frown developed over your face. Was he having nightmares again? You bit your tongue from bringing it up, wasn’t the right time. The ache that followed lingered in your chest.

 Bucky still had an arm around your waist, pressing you flush to his body. His metal fingers grasped your jaw and pinched enough that your cheeks bunched together like a misbehaving child. He held you, not forcefully but firm. James was studying you just as much as you were him.

 Much of the weight was on your lips.

 "You still mad at me, Angel?"

 He gave a short squeeze and you felt heat go up to your neck. James' pink tongue outlined his lower lip and disappeared back into his mouth. 

 "N-no, I'm just…" 

 You gently removed your cheeks from his vibranium fingers and held onto the digits.

 "James, it frustrates me when you try to control what I wear. " He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he looked down at you, the sides of his blue eyes wrinkling in amusement. 

 "Oh, Babydoll," he had a blithe expression on his face.

 This made you scowl. 

 "—Buck I'm serious! You can't just say that shit to me and force me to dress how you want."

 You braced your hands on his chest and watched his lips curl further under his beard. He slid a hand down your back and rested it on your ass, groping and kneading the swell of it. You could feel everything, the bottoms of the suit hardly covered your cheeks.

 This distracted you, long enough for the man to wrap his fingers behind the nape of your neck, greedily slotting your lips with his. 

 His facial hair scrubbed at your cheeks, but how plush those lips of his were. They didn't belong on a man like him.

 You knew that the sensation was provoking a grievous amount of tension in your stomach. He moved his mouth against yours earnestly, much so that you didn’t take in how your fingers found purchase around his dog tag chain.

 Without much thought you let his tongue slide against yours. You let his teeth nip at your flesh and take until you had to pull away. 

 If only you could see yourself right then, pretty mouth all swollen and your demeanor rattled. James admired your eyes, how with a thin glaze to the color you were left irresistible.

 He chased after you for a few seconds after, ignoring the whines from your throat and placing one last kiss on your bottom lip. 

 The spice from his bourbon was well on your tongue and a low grumble vibrated in his chest. He was relaying something, but you didn't know exactly what.

 “Мой ангел.” 

 His hands settled on your hips and he rotated you around. Your front was now facing the rest of the backyard and the three guards standing by the gate. You lightly exhaled through your nose, fingers smoothing down your necklace. 

 You’d completely forgotten about his men outside, minute embarrassment wound through your lungs. Were they watching everything? Bucky normally wouldn’t show that much affection in front of anyone, it had always been brought on by you in the past.

 “Ты такая красивая,” he spoke against the shell of your ear. 

 Your back curved away from him and you couldn’t help the small laugh you released. He was dragging his fingers down your sides, leaving tickling goosebumps behind.

 You could feel his arms wind around your body once more. His left arm became especially warm under the sunlight. James pressed his face into your neck and breathed you in before he lightly squeezed you and pulled away altogether.

 "Come," James relocated his drink and towel from the table and took your hand in his. You avoided stumbling and followed alongside him, confusion working its way to your features.

 "Grab your book 'n your bag." And you did so, you reached down to swipe each item.

 You turned your gaze up at him, "Where are we going?"

 Bucky wore a cryptic look in his eyes and only continued to gently tug you toward a part of the patio that was shaded. It was further away from the pool, the location relatively closer toward the gate where the three men stood.

 James let go of your hand and arranged his towel just like you had with yours. He took time to lay the fabric down evenly and to move the legs at the right distance from the table. You set your things down and tapped your nails on the stone surface. 

 "Why are we sitting in the shade?"

 He straightened his back from his crouching position and shared a look with you, unsure if you were joking with him. It hadn't been realized by you yet. 

 James eyed your pretty face for a few and soon understood that you were truly serious.

 "Curious girl," he mused to himself, raising his right hand to gesture at his arm.

 "I can't sit with my arm in the direct sunshine like that, Princess. It will burn you up if I touch you." 

 You bit your lips and decided to not say anything, of course. How could you ask such a thing?

 Bucky laughed at your reaction, whispering that it was alright. He bunched the fabric of his shorts up his thighs so he could sit in the chair. You stood there and observed him make himself comfortable before he tilted his head up at you and patted the top of his thigh.

 The temperature was increasing, but in the shade, you felt a shiver. The wind wasn't doing much now but cooling your skin more. Once you carefully situated yourself in front of James, you soaked in his body heat.

 He was warm, seldom failing to be the opposite. His thighs were on either side of your hips, his bare chest flush to your back, and those arms of his found their home once again around your middle. 

 Bucky tucked his chin over your shoulder, "There you go, this is all I wanted. Just haven't seen you in so long," he confessed.

 Your heart melted, considering then that your frustration over that whole ordeal might have been too much. You wanted to stand up for yourself, not let him control every part of you.

 And James hadn't said a word since seeing you, only seemed to admire the way that your bathing suit looked. He didn't even pay his workers any mind, as if they weren't there standing watch.

 "Read your book, Baby, I'm gonna lay back 'n relax for a while."

──────✧──────

 It was nearly noon, any break scheduled for Bucky's workers had just been taken. Food and water were given to each man. While James was inside making a phone call you shared small talk with Peter, making sure to step away before the boy could get in trouble. 

 You lost track of time in the shade with James, spending much of it reading through a fourth of your book. When Bucky returned he was in a talkative mood. You were able to catch up on everything from the past two weeks.

 He asked the same questions he always did while playing with the gold cherub pendant around your neck. 'What've you been up to?' 'How's work been?' 'You need anything?' 'How're you feelin'?'

 In parts of his speech, James alluded to what he was doing over those weeks, but you knew he wouldn't give you the full truth. 

 Your ears perked up when the man mentioned his struggle with sleeping. 

 Work and every stressor tied with it was unloading simultaneously on his shoulders. You listened close until he was done, gathering your thoughts before you reached up and carded your fingers through his hair.

 It hurt thinking about him in discomfort like that, you thought over any way you could possibly help.

 "I can...stay over more if you want. I know how it can feel being alone late in the night like that." 

 There was uncertainty with how he would react, spending the nights with him was one of those limited things. You only did so when he asked.

 Behind you, Bucky was reveling in silence, how much your words meant to him. You couldn't tell other than how he breathed in deep and turned to press his lips to your palm. 

 "I'd love that."

 You flipped a page with your opposite hand and resumed reading. All the while, he grew interested in the color of your nails, curious eyes taking in the flawless manicure. The shade matched what was displayed in your bikini, the same color was on your toes. 

 His thumb brushed over the surface of your nails, and he reached over to down the rest of his drink. You felt him shift back behind you. Strangely, he scooted away so there was more space between his groin and your behind. 

 You mentally shook your head, not thinking further about it. 

 A minute passed by before you could sense that Bucky was growing antsy. He was normally content with sitting like this, but his movements were following the trend of boredom. 

 His vibranium hand moved around and started tracing your back. You sucked in a breath, fingers closing around the pages.

 It was now cold, diverging with his breath behind your neck. Soon enough, James moved your braids aside, inquiring, "Babydoll, have you put any sunblock on?"

 You took one look at your brown skin and snorted, "Of course."

 "James, I'm not ignorant about skin cancer. I put some on before I drove over."

 He turned and bit your shoulder playfully, smiling at your protest. "I wasn't sure. Sam likes to say he's got 'natural' sunblock."

 "Sammy acts like a fool sometimes–" you told him, "did you get some?" The thought of the man obtaining a burn made you wince, you wouldn’t mind helping him apply. 

 He hummed positively.

 Bucky's fingers had yet to halt their movements, dragging up and down, drawing imaginary pictures. Little by little you were squirming in his lap. The book in your hands was ultimately closed shut and set off to the side.

 Those fingers dipped further down your back, to the bottoms of your suit. Bucky's eyes were hooded when he moved his head to look at his wandering fingers. The bridge of his nose grazed against your braids.

 "Buck?"

 His index and middle hooked under the thin material, stroking the skin beneath. 

 "These are pretty on you."

 A jolt of something innate transferred through your skin, warming your limbs and the space between your legs. Your eyes kept themselves focused on your lap, on the bulk of his thighs surrounding you.

 James’ flesh hand laid over your stomach, thumbing at the bottom of your breasts. "You know," he began.

 He let go of the fabric of your bathing suit bottoms, snapping it directly over a part of you he had not ever touched before. And there his beard reappeared, rubbing languidly over the skin of your neck and cheek.

 "When I see you read like that, it reminds me of how studious you are. Remember all those nights where you would review at your desk?"

 You did, the longest nights always were during the winter months. James was supportive, and particularly enthusiastic about helping you wind down on top of the desk after. He immediately set up space for you and your work, determined that you had the right tools for your needs. 

 James had to have been part of the reason you pushed through those harsh finals. 

 He slid his left hand back around to the top of your thigh, caressing absentmindedly. All the while he resumed laying a pattern of kisses, inching dangerously close to one of your reactive spots. 

 "You're such a smart girl. Always going so good."

 Bucky pushed your ass back into his stiffening dick, no longer wishing to place any space between you two. 

 "Hm?" 

 You parted your lips and breathed something of a reply. That tone he sported was not one to ignore.

 By now, his flesh hand was massaging, and openly groping your breast. He rolled one, before drifting over to the other, making tiny circles over your hardening nipples.

 Your chest began heaving under his hands, your heart spiking and flooding your veins with something intoxicating.

 "You my good little girl? Hm?" James implored. His left hand slipped in between your thighs, alleviating the heat on your skin, and gathering your sweat on the metal surface. 

 You dug your nails into his legs, moving your hips up, and away from his body. A rush entered your bloodstream from sitting there with him out in the open. 

 The sunlight and the air, the security cameras installed by his home. Every factor was bearing witness to this man's touch, and you were speedily becoming helpless.

 He didn’t care about anything else, though.

 Your eyes darted up to those very guards standing at attention merely ten feet away, sweat dripping down their necks, and their eyes fighting to not glance in your direction.

 Peter wet his thin lips and turned to look far away at the treeline.

 "Bucky, I—"

 The older man hushed you, teeth nibbling under your jaw. He applied more pressure over the top of your leg to hold you still and repeated himself once more. 

 With a growl, the tone in his voice was far dicier than before. He wasn’t very patient. "You gonna answer me, sweet thing?"

 Throbbing came from down below. The stretchy fabric covering your lower body brushed against your swelling clit. And as if James could sense it within you, he nosed at your temple and peeked those vibranium fingers under the elastic band. 

 Cold, so very cold against you, it would stop anyone in their tracks.

 "I'm.." you whined, dropping your head back onto his chest. You couldn't grasp why the words jumbled in your throat. It was too much, every sweep upon your skin pushed you further away from self-assurance, you wanted more.

 Thwack

 Metal collided against your lower lips, sending you reeling back and fisting at his shorts. You breathed out, labored, and not quite in the belief of what Bucky had done. It stung, making you bite down on your lip.

 Everything came rousing back tenfold. Discomfort and solace, the man drank up every taste of you accepting it. He soothed your cry with his hand over your inner thigh, but then positioned itself over your cunt once again, waiting.

 "I'm your good girl, Buck."

 Pride, for him it felt the greatest when you were the cause, he couldn't get enough of it. 

 "That's fuckin’ right." 

 His eyes drowned in every minuscule thing, just about. With the feel of your smooth skin, the glimmering finish from the sunblock complimenting your shade, James could spend however long mapping every inch with his tongue well until you were in tears.

 Two weeks was a long time, far too long to be neglected like that. He knew it deep down. James burned for you, his sweet girl. Always improving his ill-tempered mood, always finding some way to ground him. People said you made him a better man and he had to agree.

 Unfortunately, the man had a lesson to teach.

 He couldn't focus on the sounds of the birds, nor the song of those cicadas in the trees. No, the pounding his ears came from your heart, hitting like a slug to his chest. 

 While you panted in the fresh air, trying your hardest to grasp at control, he worked his fingers under your swimsuit bottoms. Bucky waited a moment, reasoning with himself before dismissively tearing them off.

 You let out a yelp, softly cursing the man’s name and how expensive that pair was. He knew he would buy you a better pair. 

 Both of your hands went down to cover your slit, while James tutted down at you. He tossed the fabric in front of the lawn chair some feet away, the flimsy strings shallowly catching the attention of the three men. 

 He batted your hands away, cooing in your ear, "Yспокойся." With one of his hands, he was able to subdue your wrists, pinning them with minimal pressure against one of your thighs.

 "It's okay Baby, hold still."

 "James wha–what the hell are you doing?"

 A frantic feeling was weighing on your chest when the man didn't reply. The air was thick, gracing your freshly bare skin far differently than the rest of you. 

 Bucky went ahead and unlaced the strap of your top. He dipped his head and worked his teeth at the knot around your neck until you felt it slip away. The article was discarded, and this point undoubtedly drew the attention of the bodyguards.

 The straps loosened from around your waist and your breasts. Mounds of flesh spilled into his hands, and he groaned into your neck. 

 "Fuck, look at you, pretty girl." 

 His fingers moved from pinching at your nipples to grasping your jaw and directing your head down. 

 Bucky hooked his legs around yours, pulling back and opening your thighs wide to expose your glistening pussy. He let go of your hands, satisfied at how you kept them away. You rubbed at your cheeks in shock before shakily bracing them back on his thighs.

 With two fingers of his vibranium hand, he reached and began stroking your labia. 

 "I know you need it, my love. Been too long."

 He slid the tips of his fingers inward, spreading your slick over every bit of your pussy. James worked slow, taking his time to stroke that tender skin and tease your hole. Not once did he move up to pay attention to your clit.

 You shut your eyes, attempting to turn your face and hide away from the humiliation. He was implacable, solid, and unwilling to give you that. He made a noise of disapproval, tightening his fingers on your jaw and smushing your cheeks.

 Christ, it was fuel to the highest degree, surging through you at an inhuman rate. Bucky had worked every wet sound from between your legs, encouraging every moan from your lungs.  

 He sought out anyone and everyone to be able to hear you. Through your daze the man slid his eyes over to the young men, zeroing in basely on Peter’s slender frame. 

 Your eyelids fluttered at the sight of your body giving in to him, your pussy twitching under each caress of his thick fingers. And you knew Bucky could see through it all. He was pleased by how much you were trickling over him.

 He finally coated two of his digits with your moisture, and gingerly plunged those metal fingers into your core. Bucky began with a lazy pace, curling those synthetic pads and applying pressure on your walls. 

 Repeatedly and without a hitch in his rhythm.

 You both gazed at his fingers stroking deeper into you. You were still holding back choked sounds with him rasping low into your ear, "Look at that pussy open up for me."

 He made you look at yourself, how willing your hole was to be fucked and filled. You were desperate for it, and you knew that you couldn't stop yourself from bucking those hips into his hand. 

 “My Babygirl, it’s hard to believe what a little slut you can be.” 

 James cursed, not halting his movements down below and only shifting his right hand to brush his fingers over your mouth. 

 “Get them wet for me.” You took in a few breaths before a shudder left your body. Parting your full lips to take his skin into your mouth, you let your tongue move on its own as he steadily worked your tight hole.

 You held onto his left arm, letting go completely and drooling over his awaiting digits, Bucky’s eyes bored into the side of your face, mumbling foreign words into your hair. 

 He pulled his fingers away from your lips with a wet pop and promptly moved to lick into your mouth. He'd never seen anything like it, you were such a hungry thing for him.

 James grunted when he found your clit. A strained, needy cry was sent into his mouth and he eventually parted from you, your teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

 Bucky swallowed down all of his urgency, his cock was swollen and leaking precum all through the insides of his shorts. It certainly didn’t help when your ass rocked back into him. You had been changed into a writhing ball of nerves, ready and starving for what he had to offer.

 He sucked in a breath, ignoring the pain coursing through his groin and glancing up to those young men close by. He locked eyes with the one he saw talking with you the most, the poor kid whose name he came to know too well. 

 Bucky raised his voice to a bark, "Parker, you two,” 

 Peter and the others turned around and stood at his attention, their wrists crossed behind their backs, addressing their superior. 

 James incorporated another finger between your legs, drawing in that same pressure over your clit. You carried on trying to fuck yourself onto his fingers, your voice pleading in a quiet rasp. 

 From his chest to his neck Bucky flushed a deep pink, taken with your response. The point of his canines sunk into your earlobe, instructing you to take a look at those young men standing there.

 Their attention was kept steadfastly at your lover's scruffy face, his blue eyes surely transitioning into a callous undertone. But he knew where they had been so terrified to look, unknowing what could happen if outwardly did.

 “I want all three of you to look at this girl. My lovely girl who always dresses so pretty. Take a good—”

 Bucky slapped your pussy once again, only focusing on your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your shriek roared through the backyard, disrupting the tense atmosphere. Your hands had wound tighter around the comfort of his arm trembling over the cool metal. 

 Trickling moisture flowed down your soft cheekbones and clouded your vision of Peter’s unsettled features. The boy's jaw was knotting at every sound falling past your lips. Your ego crumbled before you, down below your feet and into ash. 

 “Take a good fucking look at her, while I take her apart,” he sneered.

 The young man with the sweet brown eyes had widened as Bucky tore his fingers from between your thighs. Your slick fell in steady ropes from his digits, slipping against your skin as he unlaced his legs with yours and repositioned you.

 Your breasts rose and fell, arms trembling as the dark smudges of your mascara sullied your beautiful face. The boy loathed to admit it, but he felt a shiver along his spine at the way James roughly handled you, how captivating you looked with those black tears streaming down your cheeks.

 Peter mirrored that very blush Bucky had on his pale cheeks.

 James grumbled for you to sit up and release him from the confines of his shorts, not looking to ask you again. You were compliant, it took you a moment but you hiccupped, and muttered your response.

 Your pussy dripped over his legs and the white beach towel as you sat up. You bent over to unlace James’ shorts, holding your focus purely on the bulge behind the fabric.

 The older man lounged back, eyes rolling shut when you alleviated the pressure, but not without staring into the younger man’s face across from him. 

 He threw an arm behind his head, and soothed a palm down your back, toward your unclothed cunt pointing right in the direction of his loyal bodyguards.

 You dipped your head to take him into your mouth, sliding your tongue over his tip, and lapping over his weeping slit. Bucky had to bite down hard on his tongue, not helping how his hand laid on the back of your head and pressed you lower. He watched your tongue slide over the veins below the skin, giving you a rigid grunt.

 He let you do that for a moment, thrusting into your mouth before he urged you up.

 James no longer had the right mind to turn back, no longer were those eyes of his that pretty blue. The older man peered deep into your wrecked face, thumbs rubbing at your ruined cheeks and flashing a leer at you. 

 He kissed you, wiping your spit from your lips, and gently tapped your cheekbones. "Want you on top of me." 

 Bucky guided your hips just right. He turned you around, placing your calves around his torso and making you face the young men. 

 James let out a breath, wrapping his fingers around him giving the length a few strokes. A groan was bitten back.

 The tip was redder than he’d ever seen it, smearing clear liquid against your dark skin.

 You held your position patiently, pressing your lips together at the feeling of Bucky tapping his dick against your behind. James took no more time, spread his legs more.

 Bucky gnawed at his bottom lip as his vibranium fingers parted your cheeks. His cock twitched when he saw your plump lips. Waiting for him, always for him, he recounted.

 “Sit on it, my love.” that honeyed voice came to you.

 With that metal hand sliding around your hip, he pushed you down to sink over him, shuddering in the way he split you apart. 

 He listened to you gasp, felt your pretty nails digging into the muscles of his thighs as he made work to bottom out inside of you.

 “Use that cock for those boys, Princess. Show them how good it feels.”

 Your pussy was warm around Bucky, stretched tightly. He could feel the breath departing his lungs in a turbulent fashion, swearing that you stole it from him. 

 But he relaid his praise, graveled words coated in sugar. He awarded it all to you in a language you didn’t speak. 

 You wouldn’t pull away, and you no longer hesitated from the eyes of those men. James witnessed you through veiled eyes, how you leaned forward to gain your leverage, that tiny charm dangling over your breasts. He'd begun to pant as you bounced that pussy on him.

 Without those eyes leaving the connection between your bodies, your hole stuffed full with his length, the man wrapped his palms around your waist. 

 Securely, as if you were to disappear before his eyes James held you to him and lifted his hips from the lounge chair to pound deeper. 

 He wanted it all. 

 And you let him, always his good little fuckdoll. He dug into your core, eventually letting you set the pace. You'd done well for him anyway. You were finally realizing what he was trying to show you.

 Impassioned, opening that pretty mouth for him and crying out like he wanted you to. Like how he knew you would. You were being made aware.

 Your body chased after whatever friction it could, fingers rubbing circles over your clit. His metal fingers made quick work pinching at your nipple, and soon he brought your back right into his chest, still lodged within.

 Bucky held your body close to him, teeth-gritting and legs steady. He hooked his biceps under your knees and slammed into you, knocking incomprehensible words from your mouth.

 His flushed lips soon parted, as you went and made a mess over the both of you. He could feel it gush on his thighs, drip over his balls. 

 This yanked an awfully hoarse, “Goddamn” from his throat, his middle finger reaching down to swipe at your clit.

 You kept at it, body helpless and opening for more. The older man sighed, cock still throbbing and wedged within your walls. He laid kisses behind your ear, allowing you to slow down. He loosened his grip on your skin and soothing the marks over.

 James listened to your muted whines as you wriggled yourself over his length. Then let you go, peering down as you crawled so your back arched before him.

 Bucky was wordless when you clenched around him again, his metal thumb brushing over the cream between his legs. 

 His eyes narrowed, gathering enough onto his pad to reach up and smooth the fluids over your puckered hole. Your head fell to the side, a whimper escaping your lips, and your eyes sliding shut. Your fingers reached back and wrapped around his wrist, urging him timidly to press his thumb inside.

 He didn’t acknowledge the young men anymore, no longer glaring at that guard's clammy face. He figured he had done close to enough. 

 No one was outside that wild young girl wrapped around him.

 James let his head of dark tresses rest against the back of the lounge chair, laughing breathily as you started up again, with his thumb driving deeper inside your hole. 

 Those boys were to stay there even if the hours ticked past their shift. Signing up for that job was a bind written in blood. James owned every bit of them and would until he was sick of them.

 You couldn’t see it, not as you rakishly accepted his length in the depths you. 

 No one could see it unless they were in the position he was currently in. There was the long, threatening barrel of a gun pressed right to their fucking temples. That cold pressure was there and had been for a long while, forcing their eyes wide open.

 And it wouldn’t leave until his reminder had been set.

──────✧──────

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — @brandycranby @emyearns @missyellowbirdie @lovieebby​

──────✧──────