#MY SISTER WANTED HIM CREMATED????????

[guidedhearts]

probably gonna be quiet today. tw in the tags

[deepseaphantom]

i dont want him to suffer but i dont even know whats wrong with him!!! i dont want to deal with the grief and pain of losing a pet!!!! FUCK!!!!!!

[vastderp]

I Had A Baby Brother

My brother was found dead last tuesday in his apartment.

He died anywhere from Sunday to Monday, and his landlord got worried and checked up on him and found him on the floor with one hand over his face. There was an open jug of methanol nearby. My sister thinks he drank it, I pray he didn't. It was an ugly, fucked up death.

He was in declining health this past decade because he was a paraplegic and uncontrolled diabetic. There are systems in place to help with low income people in his condition, but they were barred from him as he was a convicted felon.

He went from learning to walk again in the physical therapy pool to drinking a gallon of vodka per day, growing more hostile and bitter as the pain got worse, until his body just gave out. He drove away his friends, he drove away his family, and then he hit the floor and never got up.

I was meant to view the body with my sister and her grown kids, but the funeral home couldn't tell us where his body had been sent, and stopped answering the phone on friday before memorial day weekend, and then we had to wait for someone to follow up on my sister's dozens of phone messages, which they finally did, to try and make their little profit.

My sister, who has been handling all of this along with my niece, selected a different funeral home for the cremation because the first one was disgraceful with my mother's death in 2007, and they're disgraceful all over again with my brother's now.

At one point today they finally established contact, and asked how my sister wanted to handle the arrangements for her "father". O how casual the not giving a fuck goes! Dude pressed to make a sale even after she told him how unhappy we were with their work.

All this to say that I have a car full of inherited possessions, unused medical gear, and the shitty fucked up remnants of my brother's shrine to Mom.

Good old Mom may have died almost 20 years ago, but her gentle, loving mission to smother her only son to death (and probably into eternity) is finally successful. Of all of us, I've often wondered who got it worst: The golden child, the scapegoat, or the parentalized invisible middle kid. Now that one of us has effectively committed suicide, I guess it's for the scapegoat and me to hash out who gets second place. My mother crippled him long before his car accident, in one long and winding but uninterrupted line of consequences from his birth to death. I consider it a murder-suicide. Which was which? They were both the killer, and both the victim. Enmeshment is a motherfucker.

I'm super bitter, really fucking sad, and incredibly proud of what's left of my family for how they're coming together now. (Except my dad, who is in another state, petting his dogs, because I don't think he can really deal with this shit).

So what's left? To go put some cologne on his corpse when they finally let us go view what's left of him. He always liked to smell nice and he probably doesn't right now.

They'll cremate him, and give us a ridiculously heavy cardboard box of ashes that we'll have to carry out, knowing it's all that's left of a lifetime of struggling and pain. Probably we're gonna mix his ashes with Mom's, and make that lifetime of enmeshment official.

I hope if they go to the same afterlife, he kicks her in the cooter. I hope she kicks him back. I hope they can see each other with eyes unclouded by trauma, and forgive each other for the choices they both made. I hope they forgive me for still being mad at them both for not being stronger. I hope I will forgive myself for a lifetime of resentment and blame. I sure got enough time for that.

Jason was funny, weird, secretly really smart but never made a point of it. He was stylish. He was a broken man who could have made better choices and didn't, who was happily fed poison until he couldn't live without it, who was basically his own whole ass Pink Floyd song. His violence sent me running into a better life. His death sent me trudging back into a damaged family with gaping holes like torn out teeth, into the arms of my sister, and we reconciled. There's just us two left now, and it's our job to make something beautiful come out of this jerry springer childhood we shared. We're doing our best.

Dozens of catheters still in the package. Leakproof bed padding in a plaid pattern. Gallons of creams, antacids, fiber supplements by the jar, pressure sore ointments, fungus treatment creams, lidocaine pads, antibiotics, antipsychotics, a hash pipe or two.

An entire apartment hoarded with moist towelettes, pressure garments, and cleaning supplies. An entire life choked with mental damages and crying relatives. I put on CeeLoo Green's "Robin Williams" and sobbed until my face felt burned. It helped.

All the usable/safe to give away medical equipment is being distributed to the other impoverished disabled people in his apartment complex, who will hopefully put it to good use. I got his old manual wheelchair because sometimes I can't walk. I'm terrified of becoming more like him, so back to phsycial therapy I go.

The rest?

The memories, the pity, the jug of methanol that I pray he never actually drank, the stain he left on his floor after a lifetime of compulsive tidiness, the shrine to the woman he killed who also killed him? All these things I will keep with me forever. I will honor him. He could have been so much more, for so much longer. He had a whole story I'll never know. He contained incredible kindness and generosity, and also a rage so deep it was fatal. He was only 41.

If you can spare a couple bucks for the gofundme my niece set up, it'd really help make the financial side of this horseshit a little more bearable while we do all the shit that comes with a death. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, for your sympathies, and for reading my fucked up family trauma dump. Rest assured there will be more.

Dear god, will there ever be more.

Send help. Send pizza. Send sad hip hop. Hail Atlantis. Hail Jai.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

"Tethered to You" Chapter 2

Masterlist HERE.

"There's somethin' about you I'm likin'

Bit too much, is a bit frightenin'

Got a bit of bite to you like python

Got a bit of fight to you like Tyson

All my things sound like they sin

Never planned to be in like I'm in

How you could put this cherry on this cake and make it icin'?"

Normani – "All Yours"

Osha couldn't shake the coiled tension in her dumbstruck body. It wound its serpentine hold around her limbs and torso making it impossible to think the impossible for hours.

Mae was alive.

Her twin sister was alive and responsible for assassinating two Jedi masters in cold blood.

The pungent afternoon air on Olega cooled her heated face. She kept pace with the Jedi who stalked through the dusty streets past mercantile shops and a few boisterous cantinas far from the Jedi Temple. A Jedi Master she hadn't seen in nearly two decades was having his lifeless body prepared for cremation as they searched for clues about Mae.

Her sister had taken the yellow leaves from the bunta tree —a tree from their long lost home planet —and created a poisonous elixir to aid her killing spree. The shock of it all pressed down on Osha's shoulders. An ache of shame nestled at her nape too.

Sixteen years.

Sixteen years since she rested eyes on her other half. The anger and cold bitterness that numbed her so long ago because of what Mae had done to their family and coven gripped her movement making her muscles tight. She wanted to see her sister desperately to make sure it was all real. But she wanted to throttle her too. Beat the bones out of her selfish body. Hell, she was still in a tizzy over reconnecting with Master Sol, her father-figure and savior, the man who kept his promise to protect her after the fire burned down her home-world fortress. She couldn't ponder the ebb and flow of clashing emotions for too long though. They were on a mission to find the nearest apothecary that sold bunta leaves. It had a short shelf-life for potency and Yord's Padawan narrowed it down to a shop located on a busy market square with heavy foot traffic. It was the most logical spot to begin their search.

Yord's young Padawan had done reconnaissance for them earlier. The man posted up inside the shop was not the regular known shopkeeper, and the Padawan ascertained he was Mae's partner-in-crime. The plan was for Osha to enter the shop and pretend to be Mae, get a confession from the suspect so that Sol could record it, and then suss out Mae's location. All without causing harm to innocent civilians wandering the area in case the stranger turned violent. She ran scenarios in her head of how she'd react once they captured her sister. None bode well for her twin.

Master Sol slowed his stride toward the apothecary and turned to her. Those kind eyes still showered her with quiet affection. He kept a reserved manner probably to keep her from freaking out at the circumstances.

"Are you ready, Osha?" Sol asked.

His calm stoic nature gave her courage to face the task at hand.

"I'm ready."

The Jedi watched her stroll into the crowd away from them. She blended in well looking like a salvage worker who just clocked out and sought a place to drink and hustle a new gig. Her neck swiveled to observe if anyone odd followed or watched her too closely.

She stopped in front of a garment-vendor's open-air shop and lifted her repair droid Pip from the snug holster on her hip, and stuck him on the front pocket of her meknek uniform.

"I hope you guys can hear me," she said into the top of Pip's head.

She purchased a long black shawl from the two-horned gray-skinned garment vendor and carefully draped it around her body and head. It covered Pip completely and she tossed a long lose end over her left shoulder. Inhaling a deep breath, she crossed a wide-open street and headed directly for the apothecary.

Her mouth became dry and she tried accumulating enough saliva to keep her tongue loose and voice from cracking. The apothecary had a wide clear window and she took a quick glimpse inside. She couldn't see anyone at first until she noticed a shadowy figure moving in the back. Standing taller, she slowed her pace and took another galvanizing breath. Osha kept her face neutral and entered the shop.

A strong odor of boiling peppery herbs struck her nostrils first before other scents caught her attention. The shop looked orderly if not a bit dust-laden from customers tracking in the powdery red dirt from the street. There was no sign of Mae anywhere, and the shop was devoid of customers. Scanning the layout again, she clocked the suspect carefully.

The man in the rear of the shop wore dark goggles and held something in his hand. A piece of fruit. Osha cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Hello," she said.

The stranger looked up.

Under the ill-fitting charcoal-gray tunic, trousers, and goggles, Osha couldn't discern what she was dealing with or what type of relationship her sister had with the man. Playing it cool seemed to be the right move in that situation and she waited for him to acknowledge her.

"Oh…hello."

"Hi."

Osha grimaced internally. She sounded unsure of herself and struggled not to fidget. Keeping her composure, she watched him take off the goggles and walk toward her. As he drew near, she noticed the intensity of his jet black eyes scrutinizing her. She flicked her gaze all around his face, preferring not to look directly at him. Her nerves ratcheted up and her feet started rocking back and forth. She stared at him to keep her focus but dammit! He kept moving around, slithering closer to her. Nothing bulky showed through his tunic and she was relieved that he carried no weapon on him. He appeared a good eight to nine inches taller than her from the quick guestimation she made sizing him up from the step-down floor section he stood in. One step up and he would be directly in front of her. She needed to keep a sizable distance between them in case he tried a sucker move with a hidden blade. He just wouldn't stop that slow lazy amble toward her and it brought a shiver to the back of her neck. She couldn't break eye contact with him again without looking suspicious.

Those sultry eyes burned into her retinas and caused her breathing to slow down. Had he turned her into prey that quickly?

"Hi? Hi…you alright? You're back so early," he said.

Think. Quick. Say anything. Keep him talking.

"I wanted to see you."

Ugh! No…that sounded weird. It wasn't a gruff bossy tone that she imagined Mae would use like when they were children. His eyebrows rose up in confusion.

"See me? Oh…Mae…uh…are you okay? Did the poison work?"

There! They had him. He admitted to using poison with her. Where was her sister?

"You're acting so strange…"

He tilted his head to the side and those hypnotic eyes narrowed. A fluttering in her stomach signaled for her to stay focused on gleaning any information he gave up now. The steam from the bubbling pots throughout the shop gave the warm undertones in his tawny skin a moist sheen. His hair was tousled in messy black waves that were so glossy that they looked wet. It was obscene to be a vicious murderer and look that attractive.

"Wait…you killed Torbin without the poison. He will be sooo pleased…"

Why couldn't he be still? His body moved like the dance of a slow waltz, gliding forward on the balls of his feet, ready to spring on her if she didn't stay alert. She kept a hand on the stun blaster under the shawl. Sol allowed her to carry it for her protection. In the blink of an eye his head lifted to scrutinize her attire barely a foot away. He glanced at her lips and back to her face and she would swear on a holy book of Brendok that he wasn't the same man as before.

A trickster.

The stranger had become a changeling right before her besotted eyes. His gaze mimicked quicksand and she spiraled down into the pit of its murky, dreamy depths. A wolfish smile curled his delectable lips and she wanted to pivot and flee. His hold on her turned her body sluggish and unfocused like drinking Nightshade wine for the first time on Coruscant when she left the Jedi order. She lost hold of herself. Her breath...her limbs...and the deliberateness of it was uncanny.

Take control! Quickly!

"No…I used it. I just wanted to thank you."

She still sounded like a poor representation of her sister. Osha chose to gaze at the puffiness of his lips to keep from drowning in the covetous pools of his eyes. She would surely fold like bed linen soon. Focusfocusfocus.

She gripped the stun blaster tighter.

His eyes dragged down her entire body like she was naked and waiting for him to ravish her right there on that dirty apothecary floor. She tingled from the top of her head and down between her thighs not knowing if she needed her fight or flight instincts to take over…or that other primal thing she hadn't done in so long and craved. Fucking.

He openly eye-fucked her, watching her mouth speak words as if he never saw anyone do that before. Every inch of her face was scrutinized by him, like he was storing it to memory. She bounced in place on her heels awkwardly not knowing what else to say.

His rapacious gaze settled on her parted lips before he stepped up to her, crowding the space between them until he towered over her, his warm breath touching her skin. He smelled like the peppery floral scents swirling around the shop. His side-swept hair tempted her to touch it, wondering how the texture would feel rubbed between her fingers or falling down on her face lightly brushing against her cheeks.

He knew a secret about her. Those dark eyes twinkled with the knowing.

Busted.

"You look…exactly like…her…"

His breathiness on the last word made her eyes well up with tears. It was too intimate, too suggestive of something deeper than her twin sister. His words said one thing to her, but his eyes were speaking another language. He knew her…knew about her…no…this was something else…

Something tiny and insistent gnawed at her core where the remnants of the force still rested within her. Mother Aniseya, Mama, had taught her long ago about the Thread of Destiny. One could pluck at it and use it at will over time. The Jedi described the force in similar terms although in a more conservative and dogmatic fashion. Mama said she and Mae were part of the Thread…one made into two, and they were always supposed to be together.

This stranger plucked at her internal Thread and it sparked a desire that was beyond carnal. Soft feathery threads clasped at the electrical impulses in her brain. Cloyingly seductive. Shadowy. Dark.

Passion. Lust. Rage.

His Thread intertwined with hers and braided their spirits together like Mama's silky midnight black fingers on her locs after wash days with Mae. Oh, how she missed Mama and Mother Koril.

Spice creams.

The emerald green forests of Brendok.

The giant bunta tree with its dazzling yellow leaves…

Yellow leaves…bunta—

Osha blinked, snapping herself from his mental hold. She whisked the stun blaster out and aimed it between his sinister eyes.

She blinked again.

The stranger threw his hands up all wide-eyed and shrank back from her like a frightened coward trying to cover his tracks. Yord stormed in brandishing a lightsaber with Sol on his heels. Osha stayed back by the entrance, confused as to what happened.

Cowering and meek, the stranger gave up Mae like a double-crossing Hutt in the outer rim territory. He shared no real information about who taught her sister how to fight like a Jedi and the only useful tidbit was that she would return for something later. The Jedi stomped past Osha at the entrance. She paused to take a final look at the stranger.

The meekness had vanished.

With his back straight and eyes blazing into her, the stranger stirred something primal and transcendent in Osha.

He was forbidden fruit she was not supposed to taste.

But she wanted to.

Chapter 3 HERE.

A.N.:

I'm going to shoot for dropping updates every Friday. Right now I'm going to power through to as many chapters I can churn out quickly while the irons are hot, but once I start leveling out, it'll be every Friday night.

My Black Panther readers know this already but FYI, I don't edit or make corrections as I write. I type it out and post it as soon as I'm done. That keeps the writing fresh and fun for me. Any typos, spelling/grammar errors etc. are squarely the fault of Qimir. Take it up with him and let me cook!

I'm not going to do a taglist for now. Just check every Friday for new drops. If there's enough interest on here, I'll think about doing a taglist later.

[catierambles]

Blood Moon Ch.17

News of their engagement spread like wildfire through the rest of his family, Sy getting calls from his sisters-in-law the next day congratulating him along with his nieces and nephews (who were old enough to talk) being very excited that Annalisa was going to be their Aunt. She was a big hit with them, apparently. Annalisa got calls as well, having exchanged numbers with them the previous day during lunch. None of them mentioned or even hinted at their “conditions”, so either his brothers didn’t tell inform their wives (or ex-wife in the case of Jake), or they didn’t want to talk about it over the phone. It would have to be brought up eventually, as Annalisa had been correct, they would notice that she and Sy didn’t age as the children got older.

The idea that what made him turn furry also made him immortal was...something he'd unpack later, but the fact that it meant he would literally be spending forever with his Mate, and she wouldn’t watch her Tovaras age and die while she stayed the same, was a comfort.

“Hey, babe?” Sy said as he lounged in the couch in her office and she hummed in response, not looking up from her monitor. “Annalisa.”

“Yes?” She asked, catching his tone.

“What happens...what happens if a vampires’ Tovaras dies?” He asked, “You said that you knew Markus wasn’t because his death didn’t destroy you. What would’ve happened if he had been?”

“You sure you want to know?” She asked and he paused.

“Yeah.” He said finally.

“I’d die.” She said simply, “Not right away, but I...” She sighed, “I saw it happen once, a friend of mine, a member of my coven. His Tovaras, Daniel, died in a car accident before he had a chance to Turn him.”

“Okay.”

“David just...stopped. Everything. He stopped going out, he stopped talking to people, he stopped feeding. It wasn’t just grief, it wasn’t just him being depressed from losing his lover, he was...he was dead inside. We tried to help him, tried to get him to feed, getting him animal blood, human blood from donation drives run by vampires for those who don’t want to take from the source, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He starved to death.”

“Fuck.” Sy said with a sigh, running a hand over his face.

“We had him cremated and his ashes interred next to Daniels’.” She said, “If something happened to you, or if you were still human and refused to let me Turn you, I would suffer the same fate, but I wouldn’t care. You were gone, so I wouldn’t have any reason to live. I’d have died when you did, but my physical death would come later.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask what would happen to me if you died.” Sy said and she sighed. “You know, don’t you.”

“Yeah, Kyle, I do. Wolves that lose their Mates go insane, go rabid, and need to be...put down, for their own sake and the safety of everyone around them.”

“Fuck.” He said again and she got up from her desk, going over to the couch and laying on him gently, her head on his chest and her hands holding his sides. He wrapped his arms around her immediately, holding her tight. “I’m not losin’ you. Never. And you’re never losin’ me."

"The rest of your family needs to be told about us." She said, "Preferably before the wedding."

"I know. I want my brothers there when it happens, so they can keep'em calm if one of them flips their shit about it."

"Pete called us monsters."

"Yeah. Yeah, he did. I'm not holdin' it against'im though, he was just worried about his babies."

"I've been called a lot of things over the years, "monster" isn't even in the top ten of the worst of it." She said and his hands rubbed over her back. "The coven will need to be notified of the engagement, as well."

"How's Eugene gonna take it? He gonna be a problem for us?"

"Most likely, but he'll just have to get over it."

“How do you feel about gettin’ married in a church?” He asked and she hummed.

“As long as holy water isn’t directly involved, I’ll be fine.”

“You good with crucifixes?”

“Jesus Christ was not the first, nor was he the last person to be crucified by the Roman Empire. It was basically their execution method of choice as it was brutal, highly public, and sent a message. Crucifixion was nothing special. If I had a reaction to that, I might as well have a reaction to guillotines or nooses. Besides, there are Muslim vampires, Hindu vampires, Jewish vampires, Agnostic and Atheist vampires, and it would make absolutely no sense for them to have a negative biological reaction to a symbol of a faith that they don’t adhere to.” She explained and he thought it over for a moment before making a small sound.

“Makes sense when you put it like that.” He agreed, “Why does holy water burn you, though?”

“I have a feeling that it’s less because it’s “holy” and more due to the belief of the priest that blessed it. They believe that it’s purifying, so it is. Their belief doesn’t work on crucifixes, though, because as I said, crucifixion wasn’t special or unique. There aren’t naturally occurring bodies of holy water.”

“And the whole silver thing? Ma has a silver candlestick that gave me one hell of a burn that I had to hide.”

“Allergy or sensitivity to silver is something that exists in humans. Whatever makes us us gives us that allergy cranked up to eleven. It’s why before the advent of modern mirrors, we had to avoid them. Not because we didn’t have a reflection, but because it was physically painful to be around them, like we were standing too close to an open fire. Modern mirrors don’t contain silver, so we’re good with those.”

“But the sun doesn’t hurt you.”

“Why would it?” She asked, looking up at him and he paused before giving a shrug.

[dayeongi]

Four years and a day ago, my sister picked me up so we could go to the hospital for news about my father.

I didn't know he was interned. I didn't even know he was that sick. Last thing I heard from his own mouth was that he was recovering from an ear infection and was feeling better.

I'd moved out a few months ago after he tried to beat me up in March because I didnt shower exactly at the time he asked, and after a lifetime of neglect and 18 years of other types of abuse from him and my stepmother. I had tentatively invited him for lunch the Sunday that had just passed.

Yet, I went. And I waited outside for news. At 8 pm the doctor came out to tell us he was refusing intubation but was hanging on.

At midnight, we went back home to sleep.

Next morning, we headed to the hospital at 6 to wait outside again for news. And we waited. The doctor came out. He said we needed to bring them supplies. I hated my father, but I raced down the concrete stairs of the hospital to pick up the supplies from my aunt. She held them out the window of her car, and I snatched them like a purse thief.

By 8:27 am that morning, July 11, 2020,.my father had died.

I had experienced death before. An uncle, family friend, my paternal grandparents, one after another, my own mother. I was familiar with decay, sadness, awkwardness, sunny funerals, the silence of the cemetery around you as the sky collapses on itself, and the world that keeps on moving. Turning, even if you can't stay still.

But somehow it never occurred to me that my father would die that soon, or so young, still in his mid sixties.

I had prepared for every eventuality. How to explain to him I don't want my future children to be much in touch. How I don't want his wife to know them at all. Thinking of moving far away, where he cannot hurt me.

My sister had to repeat this information twice. That he had died, I mean.

She had to confirm that I understood. She cried, and held me, and said "now its just us two, alone." I held her. What was there to accept? He had died. Whether I accepted it or not. I didn't cry much, just a few tears, so she wouldn't get too worried.

They didn't let us see his body, even from afar. The military wanted us a block away. People who lived in front of the hospital opened their homes to us so we could look through the window. They held my sister and I, even though for all they knew, we were dangerous.

It wasn't until his wake, where only us immediate family were allowed to attend, that I finally realized; something is wrong.

My father wouldn't have wanted a funeral like this. He was a devout catholic, for better or for worse (usually for worse). He didn't want to be cremated. He would have wanted a mariachi band, and have a procession with us walkimg after the hearse. He would have wanted the songs that were sung for my grandparents' funerals to be sung for him.

I cried a lot then. Almost to the point of not breathing. To the point of throwing up. To the point where words stopped making sense anymore. I didn't want to get off the car. Then, the opportunity for him to repent, the opportunity for me to have a father would be truly gone forever.

At the time, I didn't know I still relished that hope. I thought it had died, lile a fire put out in a panic, slap after slap. But it smoldered even without my knowledge.

It went out in a blaze of grief, when I held the wooden box that was his urn and I realized, I was holding everything my father had ever been, and everything he could have been, and everything he'd never be, because he'd never be ever again.

There are songs I can't sing now.

[todomitoukei]

as something positive for a change from the gloom and misery we are all going through after this horrible ending, can you share how would you want Touya and Todofamily's ideal ending to go?

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share my very detailed version of what the ending should be (I tried to keep it short but alas, I failed).

First of all, let's assume Shigaraki and Toga died (don't worry, I'm bringing them back!) and Touya is in that tank, supposedly almost dead. Here's a shortened (it's not short) version of what I the ending could be instead and no, I don't care if it's unrealistic, at this point anything is better-written than what Hori came up with anyway:

While Touya is still alive, he gets closer to dying, enabling him to see people that have died but haven't "crossed over" yet (yes, I was obsessed with Ghost Whisperer growing up don't @ me), namely Shigaraki and Toga, who are on the verge of being able to do so, yet believe that Shigaraki might be able to bring them back and also heal Touya (look, I haven't properly read this manga but something something the decay quirk was half of the Overhaul quirk minus the option to undo damage? So in this version, he can somehow undo damage now, yes, I make the rules<3).

Anyway, before doing any of this they actually need to contact Touya because people are about to perform an autopsy? cremate? Toga, so they want to stop that to make it easier to bring her back to life.

They explain all of this to Touya and tell him he needs to tell someone to bring Toga's body to where he is to make this whole thing easier. Fortunately, Natsuo is visiting him in that moment (he deserves to be included because he is best boy<3). Long story short, Toga's body is being brought to where Touya is (They also had to bring in the Chief of Police and Hawks for this special situation), and Shigaraki manages to resurrect her.

She also still had some of Twice's blood, which she uses to turn into him (probably insults Hakws as revenge<3) and create a copy of Shigaraki - the plan is basically for Shigaraki to find a way to take over the copy of his body. He manages to do so before also restoring Touya's body to a non-dying state again.

They then have to sit down with the Chief of Police and Hawks to discuss what happened and also to make a deal for the future since putting the villains in jail when the heroes get to keep living life despite the crimes they committed is bs etc etc, therefore Shigaraki pushes for all the lov members to be released from prison and also receive support from the HPSC (Idk what they changed their name to) - an actual second chance for them to start anew, a life without crime etc.

They settle on being given a building for them to live in and start a sort of shelter for kids like they once were; kids that are on the street, the kind of kid that their society doesn't deem worthy of saving, that people turn away from and that could potentially turn to crime as a last resort just like they did.

So in the end, Spinner and Compress get released from prison - and yes, Compress gets his ass back - and they all get to live and work together. They somehow also bring back Kurogiri.

Also, Touya has had enough of his father monologuing about how sad and pathetic he is so just like Natsuo, he decides to not talk to him anymore because he finally realizes that his father is simply not worth it. In other words, Endvr is out of the picture once and for all.

Rei will also be involved in the new lov project because you cannot tell me that this woman spent 10 years locked away in a mental hospital only to be released and push the man that put her in the mental hospital in the first place around in his wheelchair that he is more than capable of using on his own??? (It's so painfully obvious that a man wrote this story) So she becomes the lov mom and is finally free from her abuser too.

Fuyumi can move in with them too, she and Toga deserve to have a sister/female friend because I can only imagine how tough it was for Toga to only be around men after big sis mag died. Touya will try really hard to be a good big brother now so Fuyumi can finally relax. And by relax I mean Touya will annoy the shit out of her and let her forget all her responsibilities and feel like a kid again. Justice for all the bnha girlies who otherwise only exist to serve men or die because god forbid a teenage girl shows emotions and does a bit of stabbing once in a while.

Natsuo and his girlfriend will also move in with them. Once Touya hears about Natsuo's wedding plans he has a serious word with him and Natsuo promises him to wait a little longer and get married for the right reasons instead of out of spite because both Natsuo and his girlfriend deserve better. Besides, since Natsuo is studying something similar to social work, he can help the lov with their project (and gain work experience at the same time!).

Obviously there is also room for Shouto and he stays over for the weekend and also visits during the week. Touya learns to make soba for him (not like the failed attempt Natsuo and Shouto had in one of the light novels lol). Touya also teaches Shouto some social skills - it's unclear whether this is good or bad.

This way, Shouto can also finally spend some quality time with his family and be treated like the kid he still is instead of having to be a hero for his own family. Compress can become some kind of father-figure for him. Also, Shouto and Shigaraki bond over being the youngest sibling. Touya calls them out for being the youngest every chance he gets.

In summary, the lov and Todofam live together in peace and they all support each other in figuring out who they are etc etc.

The End.<3

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!

[ordinaryschmuck]

I hate to be a bummer.

I don’t want to make people feel sad or anything, but...I’m...I need to get this out. I need to say this.

The last time I saw my dad might have been the last time EVER that I’ve saw him. His cancer is getting worse, his alzheimer’s is getting worse, and I just found out that he has ammonia.

On top of that, I learned, today, that my Uncle is putting my dad in a nursing home, where he has to get constant 24/7 care.

On top of that, I also learned that they’re getting ready for my dad’s inevitable cremation.

Me and my sister went down to visit him this summer. To spend at least a week with him, have as much time as possible. We ate lunches and dinners, celebrated his birthday, and even went to see Thor: Love and Thunder.

Thor: Love and Thunder...is going to be the last movie I saw with my dad.

I don’t know how I feel about that and I don’t know how that will effect how I see the movie.

What I do know is that I wished I would have done more.

I knew that summer, deep down, that it would be the last weekend I spent with him. And as we left, I already felt like I should have done more.

And now that I know for sure that it was the last time, and I likely won’t see my dad again in the new year...it hurts.

It hurts in a way I can’t possibly describe.

And I can lie. I can keep cracking jokes and say nothing’s wrong, keep people happy.

But it’s hard. It’s hard to do that now. I’m sorry.

Things are going to get worse for me before they get better. And, odds are, it’s going to affect my work as well.

So, sorry in advance for my pain affecting all of you. That’s the last thing that I want, but I already know it won’t be helped.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for requesting money from my sister-in-law that she received because my cat died?

I (40F) and husband (40M) live with his mom and sister (48F), we are both disable so we take care of the household and do all the chores and errands for the household since they work long hours away from home for several days up to a few weeks at a time. That means we have to take care of his sister's 3 cats and 1 of those cats is special needs. He tends to just pee on the floor near the litterbox so we usually have puppy pads underneath.

We also had a cat but he died unexpectedly. We don't know what caused it since he had just had a check-up a few months ago and we were told his health was perfect. He was up to date on shots and was under 5 yrs. My husband put up a minor tribute on his page and stated that if anyone wanted to help with cremation we'd be grateful. His sister also posted about it and stated how sad and depressed she was about it. (My cat didn't like her because she is loud and it terrified him so she didn't know him much, if at all.) She apparently accepted donations and told my husband that she'd give him what she received, this also happened right before her flight and trip to see her boyfriend. He tried to ask her how much she had received so we could purchase stuff the (her) cats would need while she was gone and she shrugged and didn't say. He then asked if she'd give him some money to get those items and she told him no because she really needed to save money for her trip. We made due and waited til she got back to request again. She had told her mother that'd she would have money ready for the cats needs when she got home. She arrived home and my husband brought it up again since she'd be leaving back to work in the next few days. She is now saying she's going to shop for the house and cats and won't give my husband anything for another 2 weeks. My husband is upset, his sister tends to get very cheap household items that break or don't work, and she also doesn't know what food brands and types her cats eat. He is worried she is gonna waste money getting all the wrong items and got into a minor argument. My husband's mom doesn't like to upset his sister because she tends to have breakdowns and then threatens self-harm.

So are we the asshole for bringing up that she made money off our cat dying and used the funds for her vacation instead of using it to take care of the pets that she insisted she needs?

What are these acronyms?

[ghuleh-witch]

The Night We Met

Fandom: Ghost Rating: Teen Warnings: Canonical Character Death Relationships: Papa Emeritus II/Secondo x Female!Reader Additional Tags: established relationship, grief/mourning, no beta Word Count: 961 Summary: He was gone and you just wanted to go back to the night you met. Ao3 || Masterlist

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met -Lord Huron—"The Night We Met"

You couldn’t breathe. No matter how many times you inhaled and exhaled, you felt like your breath was being sucked right out of your lungs, not giving your body time to filter the oxygen. At least your eyes were dry now. You didn’t have any tears left. You probably became dehydrated from the crying, but you didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. 

You first learned of Secondo’s death from Alpha. The ghoul burst into the quarters you shared with the former Papa screaming about how they killed him. They killed them all. You couldn’t get anything else out of him before several other ghouls, new ghouls you noted, came into the room behind him and began dragging him away.

“You need to leave, sister,” one ghoul said. “Pack your things and return to your own quarters.”

It wasn’t until two days later that you pieced together what happened. Secondo was with his brothers for their usual game night while you finished your shift in the archives. The retired Papas were poisoned. You didn’t know how or why, but they were gone. Your lover and friends were gone, and no one was telling you a damn thing. All you knew was that Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil were involved somehow. They acted as though nothing happened and continued planning the upcoming Ghost tour. You couldn’t be sure if Cardinal Copia was involved. You didn’t know him well, but you knew he was also an Emeritus, despite Papa Nihil denying it. 

But you doubted his involvement, or if he was involved, he carried a heavy burden of guilt. You saw him shortly after it happened after you had been sobbing in the gardens, and he had such a haunted look in his eyes. If he had been involved in his brothers’ deaths, it had been against his will. 

No one would let you see his body. You didn’t even know if Secondo was still within the Ministry or even if he was in one piece. It had been his wish to be cremated and his ashes scattered off the coast of Italy. You wanted to make sure that his wishes would be honored. The Cardinal took pity on you though after seeing your bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks. He took you down to the morgue and let you inside.

“Ten minutes, sorella , that’s all I can give you,” he said apologetically. You were grateful and went inside.

That brought you to the present, trying to breathe as you looked down at the preserved body of the love of your life. He looked just as formidable in death as he did in life, dressed in his vestments and paints and encased in a glass coffin. It wasn’t what he wanted, and you wanted nothing more than to smash the glass and fulfill his wishes.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, pressing a hand to the glass that separated you. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

The tears came again, and you pressed your forehead to the cool, clear surface. “D-do you remember the night we met?” You stammered through your grief. “At that after-party? I accidentally spilled my drink all over your new suit. Instead of yelling at me, you took one look at me and reassured me that it was alright. You changed in an instant that night. Your attention wasn’t on the other women at the party. You couldn’t keep your eyes off me and then you asked me if I wanted to go on a date. A real honest date. You proved everything I heard about you wrong that night, and I fell in love with you then and there. You have no idea how badly I just want to go back to that night and do it all over again. I’d trade my soul to be taken back to the night we met.” You stared into his face, his eyes closed and unmoving. “Please…I can’t do this without you. Please come back. I need you.”

Your pleas went unanswered, though. 

You looked from Secondo to Primo and Terzo on either side of him. They looked just as regal as they once were. You let out a choked sob. There would be no more spending time in the greenhouses with Primo; no more visiting Terzo in his personal study and exchanging gossip. You had no one to confide in when Secondo did something to piss you off. There would be no one to make you that special tea blend to help you sleep. 

They would want you to go on, though. You knew that. You knew Secondo would want you to continue your work and your life at the ministry, despite what happened. He knew how much your faith meant to you and wouldn’t want you to squander everything you worked for. He’d want you to be happy, no matter how cliche the statement was. You would try, but you felt so empty inside. Happiness seemed like a foreign concept that you’d never experience again. 

You heard the door to the morgue creak open and knew Copia would be standing there. Your time was up and now it was time to say your goodbyes. You pressed your lips to Secondo’s glass tomb. “Wait for me down there,” you whispered before pressing a hand on Primo's and Terzo’s coffins. “Take care of each other.” You bit back another sob and raised your head. Copia stood in the doorway with a solemn expression. With your head held high, you walked out of the morgue, determined to make those responsible for taking Secondo from you pay.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Laid to rest 

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~1.6k

Summary: Part 2 of too late

A/N: This is another ‘what if’ but it’s never gonna happen. Don’t worry, my brain is just running around in a circle chasing its tail. I’ll post something fluffy later. 

Warnings: heavy angst, death, thoughts of suicide

Wanda’s eyes are red and puffy as she watches the wind blow through the trees of the mountains behind your house. It had been three weeks since you’d died and she still couldn’t bring herself to let you go. It had taken her brother, Bucky and Steve, all dragging Wanda away from you after the shootout had ended before things had calmed down enough to allow them to regain their bearings.

When everyone had realized you and Boone hadn’t made it they’d been devastated. No one had been able to hide it enough to help pull Wanda from her grief. The sisters had taken care of the two of you while Pietro tried to get his sister to calm down. He’d watched her go through nearly every stage of grief in that ruined bar, and by the time he’d gotten her home she was near catatonic. She hadn’t wanted to go to the compound or her house because it didn’t matter what she did, there would be signs of you everywhere.

Pietro decided to take her to the house, and he’d only regretted it immediately when Wanda broke down again at the sight of your car in the garage. Despite her refusal to talk or do much of anything for days, Pietro stayed with her to make sure that she didn’t do anything too damaging. He watched her drink for the first day, then just cry and sleep for the next before she finally talked to Nat and Yelena to find out what had happened to you.

She hadn’t wanted to see you like that again, and she’d known your final wishes since the beginning of your relationship. She confirmed that you were cremated along with your dog, and she’d asked for you to be brought home.

Now Wanda was standing in the middle of the woods with her family and two urns in her hands. You had never told her what you wanted done in the event that your dog passed away because that was never something you could bring yourself to talk about. You loved him so much and he was still young so the idea of losing him made you cry. Therefore you never thought about it, let alone talked to her about it.

So Wanda took some liberties, but she assumed that you would want to be with your dog if at all possible. She wanted to do that for you, and she looks over to the horizon from the cliff where the two of you had gotten engaged before she takes a deep breath. You’d brought her out here one morning when it had been dark and cold, but you’d sworn that the sunset would be worth it. She had humored you because she loved you and she hadn’t regretted it when the sun came up and bathed the mountains in a beautiful glow. She remembers turning to you to tell you that you were right when she sees that you’re not longer standing beside her.

Tears start to fall as she remembers how shocked she’d been to see you kneeling before her with a ring in your hand. You’d told her how much you loved her and that no matter what you’d always be with her. You wanted to marry her and have a family and grow old together.

Wanda carefully readjusts the urns as the wind continues to whip her hair around her face. She glances over her shoulder at her friends who all look distracted by their own thoughts.

Wanda’s grateful for the years she’s had them in her life. Times weren’t always good and she sometimes couldn’t stand how close they all were, but they were her family at the end of the day. She and Pietro had lost their own family relatively young, but they had found a new one among their friends…and you.

She owed them a lot. Especially after the past few weeks of hell for all of them. She’d fallen apart and she still didn’t see any of the pieces in sight as she tries to get used to living without you and Boone. The silence of the house is overwhelming and despite having every television in the house on at all times, it didn’t help. Nothing could keep her from noticing your absence.

Wanda turns around completely before she addresses the group that joined her out here in the middle of the woods on this depressing day. She knew she wasn’t good company, but they all deserved to be here as she sends you and Boone off in a way that hopefully helps her realize that neither of you are coming back.

“Y/n would have hated this.”

Pietro seems to be the only one who knows where his sister is going with this. Bucky and Steve just wait for her to continue while Nat and Yelena shoot her a confused look. They had been thinking about how the last few weeks had been horrendous as they dealt with the aftermath of your death.

Yelena had almost completely shut Kate out for the first week as she drank herself sick, and Nat has been training so hard that she’d broken bones in both of her hands. They’d dealt with their grief in different ways and despite not being anywhere close to better, they needed to be here for this.

“She would hate that I brought you to this special place so we could all drown in our grief together.”

Wanda takes a moment to imagine you standing beside her with a disgruntled expression and your hands on your hips. She actually smiles and her brother nearly starts tearing up at the sight. He’s certain that he hasn’t seen his sister smile since she lost you.

“She’d probably threaten to push us off the cliff if we didn’t stop moping.”

Wanda doesn’t bother to mention that she’d considered jumping off of it and other things multiple times before today. She’d dreamt of ending her life so she could be with you, but she knows that you wouldn’t welcome her if she did it. She’d promised you to try and move on, and despite hating the idea and wanting to scream just at the thought of it, she was going to do it. Not any time soon, and she didn’t think you’d fault her for that, but she will find a way to keep going.

“Y/n would love that you’re all here with her…and her spoiled dog.”

This got a few laughs and Nat smiled at the thought of you spoiling your dog at every possible opportunity. She tries not to think about how he’d been shot almost as many times as you that night when you both had been targeted. They were still trying to figure out the details, and it was slow going because they almost didn’t want to know, but the consensus was that you were the target. That would explain why you were the first one shot and the only person killed during the attack. 

“And although I know they would rather be here with us, I’m at least grateful that they’re together.”

Yelena wipes her eyes when Wanda says this and she looks away as she realizes that she is grateful for this too. You’d loved your dog almost as much as you loved Wanda and knowing that you’d seen him die right before you tore her up.

Wanda sighs deeply as she wipes her eyes and looks up at the sky. The light blue peeks through the trees and she smiles once again as she looks to her brother first before the rest of her family.

Despite giving him shit often, he was a great brother who’d been an immense help through all of this. He’d practically moved in and stopped working so he could make sure that she was okay. Wanda couldn’t even bring herself to ask about work or how they were going to respond to this. She’d just been grateful for her brother’s presence and his silent reassurance that he was there for whatever she needed.

“Now this isn’t goodbye because I refuse to believe we won’t see her again, but if she gets her way like usual, it won’t be anytime soon.”

Wanda turns back toward the view that takes her back to one of the happiest moments of her life before she walks towards the edge of the cliff. She doesn’t realize she’s being followed as she clutches the urns so tightly her hands start to ache. She glances down to the trees far below her and she only has a moment to consider how far down it is. 

A hand on her shoulder makes her turn to the side to see Pietro shooting her a kind smile. She checks her other side and confirms her suspicions that Nat and Yelena are standing beside her as well. She sighs in defeat as she starts to open the urns that contain your ashes and Boone’s before she steps so close to the edge that a strong breeze could send her over.

“This is just the first part of keeping our promise. Accepting that she’s gone a-and eventually being okay despite this.”

Pietro’s hand on her shoulder steadies her enough to tip the urns and watch as the breeze carries the two of you away. She’s crying by the time she passes them to her brother with a look that he just nods at. Wanda squeezes her eyes shut as everyone else takes a few moments to honor you as well. She continues to cry silently as she sits down so her legs are dangling over the edge of the earth. Pietro is quick to follow her and soon everyone’s sitting and getting lost in their thoughts as they watch the sun rise higher.

“I hope she knows how much she was loved.”

Wanda leans against her brother as he sets the empty urns beside him with a nod. He wraps an arm around his sister as he glances back out to the view that will now always remind him of you.

“She knows.”

Masterlist

[vampirecorleone]

It's been a l o o o o n g time since I've made a personal post on this blog which makes no sense considering I created this side blog to be a diary of somewhat for my rants. But I'm gonna bitch today. Out of fucking nowhere, our dog Butch died. On June 12, he had his teeth cleaned and had eight extractions. But the vet said he did better than he anticipated. He literally had to have a blood test done to make sure he would be safe for it considering he was 16 years old and he was approved which made us feel better. He came home, had a burst of energy for a couple of weeks and then just collapsed on July 10 mid afternoon. He's had days where he over exerts himself and just needs some time to rest so we assumed that's what this was. My mom said if he wasn't doing better be 10:00 pm, we were gonna take him to the hospital. And then he fucking died at 9:55 pm. He went downhill so fast we couldn't even catch it. And he literally died 24 days before the two year anniversary of Butters dying. This. Is. The. Fucking. Worst. Luck. Ever. It's stressful as fuck cause now we only have two dogs left and they were so attached to him. They're both deaf and just lounge around except for interacting with him and we're just doping they don't get depressed like he seemed he was when his sister died.

And then our roommate / my mom's best friend who we've lived with for twenty years just kept complaining about money the entire time. He tried to convince to not take him to the hospital because even though the Human Society sets the cremation fees, the animal hospital charges an administrative fee and he wanted it to be cheaper. He agrees to let us take him to the hospital (the dog HE named btw) but said to my mom, "this charge is gonna KILL my credit card).

I understand that not everyone is an animal lover. But he named this dog and claimed him as his until money was brought up. Then tried to talk us out of getting his dislocated hip fixed and him tumor removed. It's so fucking annoying because he may not have loved him, but he knew we do and it's such an inappropriate thing to say to someone when their dog hasn't even been dead for a full hour yet.

Anyway, please forgive my rant. I just had to bitch about this because I've been fucking livid for days. Thank goodness for shows and Photoshop to distract me.

[alchemicalwerewolf]

I simple MUST know what your specific funeral instructions are

ok, ok, ok. The short version which I quote is the one I’ll use, because I go into immense detail last that sometimes and it takes a solid ten minutes to get through and I’m not typing that out.

When I die, I want my right hand cut off and cremated, and I want them to take out my brain like they did for the mummies.

alright, starting off, I wanna be in the most steampunk fit they can find. AND NO DRESSES!!! I have put it upon my brother to ensure this doesn’t happen. Dresses are what I hate most. I want everyone else to come in goth/emo/punk/steampunk/etc. like, sure you should wear the dark colors, but be cool about it, we don’t need to look like we’re going to a funeral.

I want by body to then be hung from the ceiling fan and swung around while thanks for the memories by fallout boy and I’ll sleep when I’m dead by set it off blare at top volume. I want my cremated hand to be tossed into the crowd like confetti at the exact moment my doppelgänger (my sister’s job to find) runs in with a very confused look and plays a pre recorded sound of me asking what’s going on, but all in old English and Spanglish. Then, I want them to stack up playbills from my favorite musicals and burn them, and dump them into the ground before my casket, to lay the ground for good. Then they’ll lower in the casket and everything, but I’ll have a mourner that wails at the top of their lungs and jumps into the ground with me. They’ll have to forcefully remove him. It’s my brother’s job to find this one.

After all that commotion, I want everyone to start to leave, but then, there will be fireworks that go off in the night sky, and they’ll all stop to look at that, and then my mom will pass around her famous queso and salsa, and they can dump some into my grave before they cover it, just so I can get one last taste of goodness. And they can look up to the stars and realize, despite all the commotion I caused, just like this, whether or not they cared about me. And the ones that decide they cared absolutely have to take care of my plants because I cannot let those die without me, I have out in too much work.

Also, I require there to be at least one episode of tangled the series going. Or vampire diaries. Not because I watch the show really, but because Damon is hit af.

oh, and I’ve left it to multiple people to make sure my fanfics all get completed after I’m gone. Can’t leave my readers on a cliffhanger lol.

[akwertyy]

Why I Like Satosugu [Pt 1] - Not Spoiler-free

Generally, I first have to grow to like each character individually before I really get obsessed with the ship. Satosugu occupies a bit of a weird spot for me because I appreciate Geto as a character, but I don't necessarily resonate with him the same way I do with Gojo (I swear it's not because I have a god complex). It's a bit like the "my son egg n his brother cheese" post except it's "my blorbo and his boyfriend."

What I really find compelling about Gojo's character is that despite being hailed as the unequivocal "strongest," he still has a human side. Gojo gave Amanai an extra day in Okinawa at the expense of pulling a second all-nighter. He made sure that Fushiguro and his sister were taken care of. He was genuinely angry when he thought Itadori had died, remarking that he hadn't forgiven the higher-ups for taking a young person's youth away.

When the curses are planning to attack Gojo during the Shibuya incident, Jougo remarks that not even a thousand measly human lives would be enough to distract him. But it was Geto's appearance alone that stopped Gojo in his tracks.

The subtleness of it is the real kicker. From Gojo's capricious attitude, you'd think he doesn't give a shit about anybody else. But at the end of the day... he still cares. Even if everything goes to shit.

Kenjaku tells Gojo, "You're only considerate during such awkward moments," in reference to how Kenjaku was able to possess Geto's body because Gojo didn't cremate it.

Wanting to connect with other people and trying your best, but having it blow up in your face. The frustration of having being unable to reach someone even though you were right in front of them, because you weren't enough... Despite all of this, Gojo lived on. Even as he mourned Geto, and tried to prevent a repeat of what happened to Geto from happening again. He took on students, and reached his hand out to others.

[nei-ning]

Commissions & Readings

I realized today that my passport, my only ID, is going to expire soon and I need new one ASAP. If I can't get new passport as my ID before the old one expires, I'm screwed! After leaving the application to new passport, it may take even a month before I get it.

I also did some calculations. Because of Verti's passing, I lost my passport money in that. Verti's passing came to come to cost me 72 euros (vet putting him down), cremation + urn + delivery 110 euros = 182 euros in total. Over half of my monthly money for food.

New passport would be 70 euros. And that's why I am reaching to you, my dear followers, since I can't wait in the beginning of November. I would be offering commissions and readings for anyone interested. Cheap ones too.

*****

COMMISSIONS: 5€ for fully colored and shaded bust +1€ for extra character. Simple background +2€

I do: Nsfw, sfw, anthros, OC, OC x original character, original x original, OC x OC, human x turtle, anthro x human, blood, horror, gore, cute stuff, chibies. I don't do: Realistic things, super kinky stuffs (ask me more), machines, Splintercest,

Your commission will be send to you via email! You can contact me via ask or chat :3 PAYMENT VIA PAYPAL ONLY AFTER SEEING THE SKETCH / BEFORE FINISHED WORK!

If you want bigger and more detailed commissions, ask me! I am ALWAYS willing to talk and compromise about the prices. I also can draw an art for you to your fanfic if you prefer that! :3 *****

READINGS: 5€ for 1-2 cards. You can ask anything but try to keep the questions limited to 2 AT MAX! I still think myself as a beginner even that I've done readings to myself, to my sister and few friends for few years now (not super actively) so, please, take only that what resonates with you, leave the rest!

Your order can be sent via email or here via chat! Payment via PayPal after I have received your question / before I send you the answer!

*****

If any of you have any questions about any of this, since I could have forgot something, ASK! :3 Every coin would help me, honestly and truly.

[vvitchy-succubus]

His escort was more than I could have ever asked for. The streets were lined with people whose lives my Andrew touched. I clung to his casket with our other siblings and told him over and over how much I love him. Every officer that worked with him lined the entrance for my family. My sweet sweet Doodoo made everyone who ever met him, love him instantly and that fact was made abundantly clear today. His services are Friday before his cremation and I can't even imagine the amount of people that will be there for my Doodoo. I feel like I'm walking around in a million pieces. But he would hate me crying over him, he would want me to joke and laugh at his expense. He would tell me to stop being such a pussy, it's chin up time and I can do this because I have to. I have to for my boys and for my mom and dad and because he fucking said so that's why. He was the best of all of us, he was my strength and my rational mind and every ounce of idgaf. He was my sweet doodoo, my goober, my scoob, my doo-butt, my sweet sweet Andrew. He was the man who cried with an old woman who just lost her husband when he was a cart boy at Menards. He held me up when our grandma's died. He held me through my divorce. He held me together our entire lives. He was my little-big brother, my protector, my back-up if I ever needed it. He was a good man and he deserved a full life. 27 years is not enough, so I will live my life the way I know you would have wanted me to me sweet sweet Drew. I will keep living for you because I know it's what you would want from me. As your big sister I was always ready to go first, but since you beat me to it, I will keep going for you, my Andrew. I will raise your nephews to be the same kind of man that you were. I will live the rest of my life making you proud, I promise.