#Mantra receives OC

[whatdoidosatoru]

Sleeping In

PART 3 of The Only Exception

- part 1 - part 2 - part 4 - ao3

pairing: Keisuke Baji x OC (reader)

wc: 4.6k

tags: smut, fluff, no use of y/n, some back story (talk of cheating etc..), oral sex (m and f receiving), this chapter is actually pretty mild, sorry :)

summary: after another night of shenanigans with Keisuke, he cleared his schedule to spend a day with me

music:

Absolutely (Story About a Girl) - Nine Days

The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls

Coffee at Midnight - Stand Atlantic

Always - Panic! At The Disco

Church - Fall Out Boy

Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco

Memories Of A Broken Heart - Crown The Empire

Sleeping In - All Time Low

Always - blink-182

MDNI! 18+ ONLY!

I rolled over after what seemed to be a very short nap to find Keisuke with a very focused face holding a book from beside my bed.

“Everything okay?” I seemed to have snapped him out of his focus.

“Oh, yeah, this is just a bit weird."

I chuckled, “Yeah, it’s quite different. One of the main themes is reinvention of oneself and writing one’s own story. Meaning, in storytelling, you can reshape your life and constantly move from one self to the other and so on. If you want, you can borrow it, I’ve read it twice already.” He put the book away and slid back down to meet me for a kiss. 

“Maybe later, I like the person I am with you now.” He pushed my hair out of my face.

“Uhh so,” I started, clearing my throat, “What was that ‘all mine’ business?”

His face turned serious, “Did you not like it? I’m sorry if it was too much…”

“No, no, it’s not that,” I quickly stopped him, “I was just wondering what that meant to you.”

“I thought it seemed kind of obvious?”

“Let’s pretend it’s not and I’d like you to clarify.”

With a sharp inhale I stared at his face. I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought about it. There’s a certain satisfaction in fantasising about a relationship with a person you’ve only seen in a public space once and couldn’t forget their face. But this was different, he was really here, physically and emotionally, asking me to trust him and let him in.

He sat up and I followed, both completely naked and vulnerable.

"I want to be with you. I want you to be mine and nobody else’s. I really like you, to the point that I don’t know how I survived those 28 hours between leaving and seeing you again, having the confirmation that I was just overthinking things. I want to be the only person to do these things with you. I want to take you out on dates and then come back home with you and hold you until we fall asleep,” he shook his head, breaking eye contact, “and now that I said all this I really hope you feel somewhat the same because if you don’t I might just lose my mind.”

 All I could hear was a faraway voice in my head, repeating a mantra that had kept me from living my life the way I was supposed to.

You’re so obsessed with me and naive, no wonder I could sneak around and bed a different girl every night and still come back to you to take me in. Are you so stupid that you can’t see that we have been over for months now? I just kept you around so your cunt can be useful to me.

Keisuke sighed, reaching to touch my face. “Then I guess I’ll have to try harder to get to know you,” he said with a smile, “I’m not giving up on you, Yuna. I know we’re going to be good together, I can just feel it in my bones. Whatever I can do to help you see it, I’ll do it.”

“Keisuke…” his eyes locked onto mine.

“...I’m not sure you thought this through enough. You don’t really know me, you don’t know what a mess my head is in. I want to say yes and it felt right saying I was yours, but I’m afraid we’d rush into it and ruin everything.”

“Can we just watch something first?” I asked.

“Can you be naked while we watch?” His mouth showed a devilish grin.

“Pervert.” I playfully smacked his shoulder, then leaned over to kiss his soft lips, digging my hand into his hair, now in a very loose ponytail. He bit my lower lip, took out the hair bobble, and shook his hair out. I got up to position my laptop on the desk so we could see the screen and put on one of my favourite series.

~ 

When I got back to bed, Keisuke wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head,

“I’m still going to call you mine until you tell me to fuck off.” I didn’t think that could ever be an option.

Mai Darling, 21:33

i’m going to sleep, getting up early to finish my research paper so you can get spicy wherever

just please don’t do it in the kitchen

i don’t want your sex particles in my food

Yunaaaaasty, 21:34

good night my darling i hope we dont wake you later <3

Mai Darling, 21:34

you’d better not or i’ll rip your boyfriend’s dick off :D

Yunaaaaasty, 21:34

:’(

Mai Darling, 21:35

thought so, good night and stay safe lovebirds <3

Huh. Boyfriend.

Something about the notion felt safe and comforting. But that was just a recipe to get hurt again. Especially after last time…

~

“I’ll be out late, don’t wait up,” the voice on the other end of the line said. My heart sank, this had been happening for months now, we never saw each other, apart from him sneaking through my window in the dead of night, waking me up for a quick fuck and then passing out, disappearing before I woke up. Whenever I wanted to bring up the fact that we didn’t spend time together anymore, that I was losing interest in him because we didn’t even talk, he’d wave it off. “I told you I was busy, what more do you want from me?” 

Mai had told me to break it off with him, he wasn’t worth crying over, he didn’t care about me, and I’d find someone who would actually make an effort with me. “Don’t be dumb, Yuna, he’s a little weasel. He’s always seemed a little bit off to me, and you can’t even deny it! You only started liking him because it felt good being with a bad boy at the time. Who knows what he’s actually doing,” Mai would warn me to break things off with him on a daily basis, but I didn’t want to give up on him. I believed I could get him back to how he was before he started to pull away from me. Nobody prepared me for what I’d actually see when I decided to follow him out that night. 

~

“Good morning, sweetheart,” I rolled over and saw Keisuke, already awake, smiling at me from the other side of the bed.

“Mmmmornn.” I definitely couldn’t be accused of being a morning person.

Keisuke chuckled, “I don’t think I know that language, but I’m going to assume you need a couple more minutes of quiet to wake up.” He pulled me closer into his chest so I took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. 

I opened one eye as if to sneakily look at him. I couldn’t get enough of him. I could smell him, but I needed to see him, touch him, taste him. Quickly forming a thought in my mind, I managed to wake myself up for my hand to start venturing lower along his body. He quickly caught on and gave me a naughty smile,

“I take it you’re awake now, hmm?” I replied with a kiss, my hand reaching its destination and making him moan into my mouth. 

My hand wrapped around his cock and started slowly pumping it. As I did that, his hips started rolling into me. His moans turned into groans and soft grunts so I decided to switch my approach. Lowering myself to his crotch, his eyes turned hungrier, his noises needier. I took his length into my mouth, eliciting a long moan from his perfectly soft lips. His hips started thrusting upwards, but only slightly, like he couldn’t help himself.

I moaned at the taste of him, sending him into another long moan from the vibrations on his sensitive tip. I bobbed my head up and down, licking along the shaft and wetting it with my spit. His hands were gripping the sheets and his eyes were squeezed shut, taking in all of the sensations. While one of my hands was on the length of his shaft I couldn’t fit into my mouth, I brought the other to my clit, slowly rubbing circles around it and using the sensation to moan around Keisuke’s cock.

He moved one of his hands behind his head and the other to grab my hair into a makeshift ponytail. I looked up and locked eyes with him.

“You look so pretty with-ah fuck-your lips around my cock I could watch you-ah-suck me forever.” He noticed where my other hand was. “Ah, I see. You enjoying yourself?” He smirked with amusement, gripping my hair tighter and pushing me to take more of him in while I sucked in my cheeks to squeeze him tighter. Now he set the pace and very soon he started moaning louder. I rubbed myself quicker now, incredibly turned on by his using my mouth how he wanted.

“Can I come into your mouth?” I could barely hear him through his panting and I had no way of replying as he was still fucking my face so I removed the hand from my clit and gave him a thumbs-up. He laughed, but quickly returned to moaning and cursing under his breath.

“Fuck your mouth is incredible I could do this all day. Good girl you’re taking me so well. Are you ready? Fuck I can’t hold on any longer-” With another tug of my hair and a loud moan he spilt down my throat and my fingers slowed down, not quite willing to stop. I flipped over onto my back and looked up at him, showing him my empty mouth. He smiled and leaned in for a kiss then dragged me back up and kissed down my front to get to where my fingers were teasing my pussy. 

Flashing his canines he went straight in to devour my needy clit and puffy lips. I let out a cry as he pushed two fingers inside of me, immediately hooking them upwards to make me arch my back in pleasure. He removed his tongue only to instruct me to grip his hair, to which I obliged right away, desperate for more friction.

As he licked lazy circles around my sensitive clit I pulled him in closer, kind of afraid he might suffocate, but he just attacked with more fervour, making me moan even louder than before,

“Yes-ah-Keisuke please I’m almost there,” I needed him so terribly and he chuckled, sending vibrations to my core, almost finishing me. 

“Cum on my tongue, pretty girl, I want to taste how good I made you feel.”

That sentence alone sent a wave of pleasure over me, I arched my back and cried out his name while he was slowing down to ease me down to earth. Once again, he wiped his face and licked my slick off, savouring every drop of me before helping me up and embracing me into a tight hug. I was enveloped in his scent, sweetness with a hint of citrus, and it felt like all my stress and overthinking just melted away.

He pulled away after a kiss on my forehead, grinned, and went to put his clothes on.

“I’m guessing you don’t have classes today?” I went to look for something to wear in my wardrobe.

“No, I have Mondays off from university and work, you?” Now that he was, sadly, dressed, he peered out of the bedroom to check if Mai was still home.

“I already messaged work I’m not coming in today.”

With that I stopped in my tracks. Was this because of me? Am I preventing him from going? Wait, does he want to stay in with me?

“Oh how come?” Somehow I managed to sound cool, calm, and collected…I hoped.

“If I hadn’t, I’d have to leave you in bed around seven to get home and get my things to make it. I’d decided I’d much rather spend time with you, if that’s okay with you, of course.” My heart skipped. I felt the biggest grin forming on my face and his face lighting up when he saw it.

“Of course, um, it’s my turn to cook today so I’ll need to pop into the shop to get a couple of things and Mai will be home around 2 and out by 3. Do you want to give me a hand cooking? You don’t have to, of course, but if you want to that would be cool. Also I have to let her know you’ll be with us, do you have any allergies or something you don’t like to eat?” I felt myself rambling and holy fuck I needed to shut up, but he was still grinning at me as if he’d love nothing more than listen to me ramble. 

“You’re so cute. I eat everything and I’ll definitely help and give it my best to not burn down the building.” He made his way to the bathroom and I followed, my hair was in dire need of brushing.

~

Yunaaaaasty, 10:12

my darling keeper of my very own sanity, for lunch we’re making you your favourite <3

Mai Darling, 10:13

My lady, whomstever doth thou meansth whensth thou saysth we?

Yunaaaaasty, 10:14

you’re giving me an aneurysm 

keisuke is staying here for a bit :| hope thats okay with you pls dont be mad mai

Mai Darling, 10:14

as long as my peppers are done and you haven’t fucked in the kitchen i’m fine 

he really likes spending time in our flat huh

don’t take it the wrong way i really don’t mind, i’m just…noticing things

Yunaaaaasty, 10:16

noticing things, my queen?

Mai Darling, 10:16

don’t you worry your pretty little head with that ;) you have enough worries in there for all of us

i’m just saying he’s trying to spend time with you i think that’s cute

continue with my lunch now, servants!

Yunaaaaasty, 10:17

certainly, your highness *bows, scrapes ground with head, disintegrates into ground*

~

On our way to the shop, I noticed Keisuke battling with himself whether or not reach for my hand so I made it easier for him by entangling our fingers and smiling at him. He stopped in the middle of his sentence, as if shocked by my action, and continued with a slight stammer.

On the way back he decided to take my hand himself, but he was reduced to giggles when I used his hand to drag him closer to me and kiss his cheek. It felt good being out with him, being seen and not hidden like some kind of a shameful secret. Maybe it wouldn’t be catastrophic, being with Keisuke. 

“Have I told you how pretty you are?” I interrupted his thoughts, he snapped his head towards me and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times as if unsure how to start.

“I…I mean you said something like that when we met, but uhhh where’s this coming from?”

“I was just thinking out loud. I like being seen with you. Like this,” I lifted our hands, fingers threaded together, “and not feeling like you’re ashamed of me or whatever.”

“What? Has this happened to you before? Because if someone was ashamed to be seen with you, then they’re a moron of epic proportions.” He brought my hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, “If we were together, I’d shout it from the rooftops. I’d become so insufferable that everybody would roll their eyes whenever I mention you.” He was so ecstatic about it that I just had to giggle at him.

Back in the kitchen, I put on my apron adorned with Mai’s and my faces - it had been a birthday present from her not long after we moved in together. Keisuke rolled up his sleeves and started chopping red and orange peppers while I seasoned chicken and popped it into the oven. He had already diced the onion because I mentioned nothing stopped from me crying when I did it. When we threw it all into the pan, I got the seasoning out and Keisuke just stared at me from the other end of the kitchen.

“What is it?” I said with a smile.

“Being here and doing mundane things with you feels so natural.”

I couldn’t help but imagine a reality where this was the norm. Walking together, holding hands, cooking lunch, just existing in the same room and talking. I grabbed my wooden spoon and mixed the peppers and onion, adding herbs and garlic. I took out a tablespoon to taste it and grabbed a spoonful for Keisuke to try. He nodded approvingly,

“This is that dish you said you make often? Fucking incredible.” I grinned, put the cooked rice into the pot and mixed it all together.

By the time the chicken was finished in the oven, Mai barged in, groaning and throwing her bag on the chair before face-planting the couch.

“I hate her so muuuuuuch! She knows I don’t read and she still won’t cut me some slack when it comes to assigned reading. I don’t know how many times I have to spell it out for her that I’m fucking D - Y - L - S - E - X - Y - C!”

I had to smack Keisuke’s chest to stop him from snickering.

“My darling,” I went to check on her, “you do know that’s not how you spell dyslexic, right?”

She lifted her head off the pillow and blew a strand of hair out of her face, “Well that’s how I spell it.”

I patted her head and motioned her to come to the kitchen where I plated up our food and brought it to the table with Keisuke’s help. 

“And is your brother older or younger than you?” I wondered.

After we finished lunch, Mai grumbled away into her bedroom and got ready for work while Keisuke and I washed up and put away leftover rice. We still had a good few hours before he had to go home to make dinner for him and his brother so I suggested we go for a walk.

This time holding hands felt natural, and every time we passed someone I knew I didn’t feel like I had to let go and hide. He told me about his coursework, how he had always known he wanted to be a vet, about his favourite things, and his childhood friends. 

“Well, he’s not actually my brother, but he may as well be. We’ve been friends since we were in school. Funny story, actually,” He chuckled to himself, “He wanted to bully me but I ended up saving him from getting beaten up. You’re gonna have to meet him one day soon.”

I stopped in my tracks. He wanted to introduce me to his best friend/brother?

“No, not at all. I’m actually looking forward to meeting him.”

He looked at me, worry in his face, “Something wrong?”

I shook my head, trying not to show I was tearing up,

“You’re so weird, did you know?” He pulled me closer for a kiss. In public? In front of people!

Our kiss got broken up by a bicycle bell so we fled out of the way and just kept walking around. When we passed my university building I pointed it out.

“Looks like a prison, sorry,” Keisuke noted.

“Sometimes it feels like one, too. I need to get something from the library though, wanna come with?” He joined me inside, perusing the shelves of different sections in the library, while I went to the linguistics section to get a massive tome I needed for my next paper. On the way back home he offered to carry it for me when he saw the sheer size of the book. 

“Not gonna lie, Kei, you look really hot with a book in your hand.” His raised eyebrow made me giggle.

“Kei? I like that. I’ll start carrying a book with me at all times.” His hair was shining in the sun and I was overwhelmed by the need to run my fingers through it. Get it together, Yuna. 

I ended up recounting how I had met Mai, how she essentially ‘adopted’ me when she realised I was revising for the same midterm she had to take and she could listen to me revise instead of suffering through her own notes. Then we very quickly became best friends and I asked her if she wanted to move in with me since I had a free room in my flat.

“You own the place then?” Keisuke asked. This story always made me sad.

“Yeah, it was my grandma’s, but she died just before I started university and she left it to me, fully paid off, and she left me a savings account for my tuition. Technically I’m only working to cover my spending money and pay for food.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek.

“Sorry to hear about your grandma.” I smiled at him, now approaching the front door. 

As I was struggling to find the apartment key in the sea of keychains, Keisuke started nibbling on my neck, “Hmm this feels kind of familiar, don’t you think?”

I hurried with the keys and pulled him behind me, heading straight into my room and starting to take off my clothes. His mouth was pulled into a devilish grin, canines poking out, making him look like a vampire, and he took his shirt off before pulling his hair back and attacking my neck again.

~

While we were lying entangled I couldn’t help but overthink the situation. I could feel myself digging the hole of obsession deeper by the minute, which is something I had told myself wouldn’t happen again. But, that said, this didn’t feel like last time.

Keisuke opened his eyes and nearly startled me when he spoke. “You look sad.”

Last time I jumped into a relationship without weighing out my options, just because I liked the look of him and he charmed me into thinking he’d stay like he had been that first week. Then I ended up spending six months constantly wondering where he was, and, on the rare occasions he actually spent time with me, being hidden from the eyes of anyone else.

We’d never held hands or hugged in public. He’d never introduced me to his friends or family. Then he’d said he was just keeping me around for sex and my whole self-worth collapsed. 

Not a question. I didn’t want to bother him with my problems, but it was like he had a sixth sense for it.

“Did you forget what I said to you last night? I want to be with you, and that means taking on a portion of your sadness as well as making you cum daily. Let me help you.”

His usual goofiness is gone, replaced by a serious tone, seeing directly into my soul with his intense eyes. He moved one hand to my hip and started caressing me. 

“I was just overthinking things. I know, I know, when do I not?” With a sigh, I continued.

“I wasn’t allowed to express myself in the last relationship. I’m still trying to learn how to communicate with a partner because I didn’t get that before. That’s why I’m so conflicted because I was drawn to you from the start, but the past experience says it only leads to a catastrophe.” I felt the need to shut my mouth immediately. I’d said too much and laid out my emotions too soon.

My mind was racing, but I’d decided. “I think it’s too soon to say, but there’s another Emo Nite event in 11 days and that might be a good day to decide.” 

Keisuke touched my face, looking deep into my eyes.

“Funny you said that, I also felt drawn to you when I first saw you. I was rude to you to try and stop myself from acting on that feeling, but it clearly didn’t work.” He gestured at us lying in each other’s arms. “But I’m glad this happened because now I can show you how a real man treats his partner. What the actual fuck was this guy’s problem? You’re so smart, kind, funny, and interesting, I can’t wait to hear every next word from your mouth. I really hope you give me a chance to show you how serious I am about all of it.”

“Sounds like a date. Gives me time to talk to my friends and get them to come with me again. Apparently they had a decent time after I left.” 

“Does that mean I could meet them then?”

He leaned in to kiss me and chuckled, “Sweetheart, you’re meeting them way sooner than that.”

~

With a million kisses to go and no firm plan on when we’ll see each other next, I saw him to the door and said goodbye. It hadn’t been five minutes before I got a message from him.

Keisuke, 18:32

I can smell you on my clothes. It’s making me smile in public. c:

Yuna🖤💙, 18:33

thats funny because we spent most of the time with no clothes on

but i can smell you on my pillow and im just gonna sit here and snuggle it for a while

Keisuke, 18:33

That’s probably the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.

Please keep it up.

I’ll give you my hoodie or something next time.

Yuna🖤💙, 18:34

PROMISE?!

Keisuke, 18:34

Woah eager beaver C;

Yeah of course. Seeing you in my clothes might send me to a hospital, but I bet it would be worth it. c;

Yuna🖤💙, 18:35

if you get a heart attack whos gonna eat me out until i cry from overstimulation??????

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 18:36

Hey I’m hospitalised, not dead!

Yuna🖤💙,18:36

youre ridiculous. let me know when you get home safe <3

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 18:37

How cute, she’s worried about me c;

~

Yuna-chan, 19:03

i spent the past 22 hours with him 

hes sooooo not like any asshole from before

like

he held my hand when we walked

he kissed me in front of the library?!?!?!!?

he asks me stuff about me

chat is this real??? 

Hana-chan, 19:05

Dibs on picking bridesmaid dresses :)

Seriously though Yuna Im so happy for you

He sounds really nice

I expect an in-depth report on Sunday :D

And I want to see both of you at the event next Friday ;)

Yuna-chan, 19:10

thank you hana i couldnt have done this without you

seriously

[1 image attachment]

HE TOOK A POLAROID OF ME FROM THE FRIDGE!

Hana-chan, 19:12

Thank fuck it wasn’t a pair of panties hahah

That’s kinda cute ngl

You have one of him he has one of you.

Yuna-chan, 19:15

i’m smiling uncontrollably ??????? can’t stop send help

btw you got homework done for tomorrow?

~

After a few more hours of general upkeep of the apartment, texting with Hana and Keisuke, and sniffing the pillow whenever I walked into my bedroom, Mai arrived home from work and headed straight into the kitchen for leftovers. We sat at the kitchen table, catching up, when she pulled out a bag of popcorn from her bag, along with a couple of pots full of nacho cheese dip.

With a grin, we switched to the living room and put on our favourite show to rewatch, snacking on the loot from the cinema. 

[perfectprofessorloverapricot]

Finding purpose | Male OC (or male reader)

Chap 2

Summary: In a world that is dying and there is no way of saving it, the humanity takes mater into their own hands. They flee from their home planet with hope of conquering another in order to survive. Among them, a couple of brothers with no idea what they’re doing.

Pairings: Jake sully x Oc (friendship), Tsu’tey x Oc (friendship), Neytiri x Oc (friendship). [No current love interest]

Warnings: Mention of violence, mentions of death, use of drugs or alcohol, bad ways of coping mechanisms and obscene language.

Note: - This is not a request and it’s the translation of the original story in wattpad. - My native language it’s not English - The Oc’s name is Eli Thompson.

Prev part - Masterlist - Next part

"Is this thing on?" Eli asked as he pushed some buttons on the camera. He realized that he was recording until he turned to see the screen next to him. "Oh yes it is."

Behind him were Norm, Max and Jake in their respective seats doing whatever on their computers. Jake, like him, was practicing on his first record.

"My name is Eli Thompson. After being asleep for 5 years and 9 months I am finally on the planet Pandora." The soldier started making a face trying to think of what he has to say. "My purpose is to take my brother's place and lead an avatar body that looks like one of the natives here... or something." He scratched his head in some confusion. "Aaaaaand… I think that’s it." He turned to see Norm and Max who were behind him. "Hey Norm. Is that all I have to say?"

The scientist turned when he heard his name. "Yeah, we just have to make sure we document everything we see and feel." Said the man.

Max poked his head from behind Norm's shoulder. "It's what will keep you sane for the next 6 years." He joked.

Eli gave him a small smile, shaking his head and turned to the camera. "Okay. Eli out."

He reached out and turned off the camera.

End of stream.

"Grace Agustin is a legend," Norm said with great admiration evident in his tone of voice. So much so that Eli couldn't help but roll his eyes at him. He had already heard many things about that woman and not many of them were good. "She's the head of the avatar program. She wrote a the book. I` mean, she literally wrote the book on Pandoran botany"

"Well, that's 'cause she likes plants better than people." Max said, backing up Norm's idea about the female scientist.

Jake looked at Eli and raised his eyebrows in a gesture that said "Won't they really shut up?" bringing a smile to his friend.

"Here she is, Cinderella back from the ball." Upon hearing the aforementioned, both soldiers turned to face the front, finally arriving in the presence of a woman with an aura that gave off arrogance.

'This will be good' Eli thought as he saw the doctor.

"Grace, I'd like you to meet Norm Spellman, Eli Thompson, and Jake Sully."

With very little interest in the newly arrived, except for one of them, the doctor turned around, removed her glasses and pulled her cigarette from between her lips, showing that he had her undivided attention.

"Norm, I hear good things about you. How is your na'vi?" she asked in a surprisingly soft tone.

Norm, clearly nervous, raised a hand in the form of support to search for the words he wanted to say. He was in front of his idol. "May everyone's mother… smile upon our first meeting."

Eli brought a hand to his forehead to massage between his brows. The idea of having to use that new language that his brother tried to stick on his head like a mantra wasn't very appealing. He could understand most of the words, so it wasn't hard to form an idea of what they were saying, but speaking it on his own was out of the question.

And it was worse when he saw how pleased the doctor was at having received the words of greeting.

"Not bad. You speak a bit formal."

Norm let out a nervous giggle, but went on with his talk with more confidence. "I studied five years, but there is much to learn."

"Um, Grace? This is Eli Thompson and Jake Sully." The smile on the woman's face disappeared as Max tried to redirect her attention to the soldiers.

"Ma'am." Jake reached out his hand to shake the doctor's. He was trying to remain respectful despite the scientist's clear distaste for having soldiers within 1km of her work area. Eli, on the other hand, stood idly behind Jake.

"Yeah yeah, I know who you are and I don't need you. I need your brothers" the cold words of the woman put a metaphorical wall between the soldiers and the scientist, causing the calm attitude of the soldiers to instantly change to a more hostile one with just an exchange of glances. "You know?" She asked Max, answering before he could. "The PhD who trained for three years for this mission?"

"They're dead. I know it's a big inconvinience for everyone" Jake's tone of voice was evidence enough that they were now on thin ice.

The woman, for a tiny moment, thought about giving them a chance. But her way of giving them that opportunity was nothing short of dismissive. "How much lab training have you had?" She ask abruptly.

"I dissected a frog once." Jake answered with complete confidence.

Eli snorted at the memory of the chaos of that day in class. "I blew mine up." The soldier laughed.

Grace gasped in shock and outrage. Intend to give them a try. "You see?..." she spat at poor Max. "You see? I mean, they're just pissing on us without even the courtesy of calling it rain. I''ll talk 'm going to Selfrigd." The woman turned around with every intention of hitting someone, genuinely panicking poor Max.

"No, Grace. I don't think that's a good idea."

"NO, MAN, THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!" She complained without stopping to pay attention to them. "I'm gonna kick his corporate butt."

Max stopped in his attempts to talk sense into her. Instead, he turned to the soldiers to give them one last piece of news before continuing with the job. The tour was over. "Here tomorrow, 0800... Try and use big words."

Eli and Jake raised their eyebrows in surprise and somewhat amused to see the scientist leave with the last word from him. They were both sure they wouldn't listen to him. They didn't plan on getting along with the woman, but they would try to make an effort not to make enemies with people they will see for 6 years in a row.

[kitabread]

-> arrow one: Radio Romance

Genre: Fluff, maybe angst?, happy ending but getting there takes a while lol

Pairing: Atsumu Miya of Haikyuu x Black female OC

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Misunderstanding, profanity, a tad bit suggestive at the end, quite a bit of italicized font, in case that is an issue for anyone

a/n: it's been quite a while since I've written (for a number of reasons) but I hope everyone enjoys !

"From the moment I saw her I knew this one was worth the broken heart." ― Atticus

“Come on, Hima. Surely you must be into somebody on the team!”

“Negative. Nobody wants to deal with guys that can’t take anything but volleyball seriously, anyway. Why would I want to deal with that?”

Those words rang through Atsumu’s head like a siren as he watched the owner of the voice pass by, her laugh disrupting the flow of the busy hallway in the best way possible. He watched as her primly pressed hair cascaded down her back in layers, brushing up against the backpack that hung off her shoulder.

In all honesty, Atsumu didn’t quite notice Himari at first. She kept to herself in class, and they didn’t have any mutual friends so run-ins were scarce. He just didn’t have the opportunity to truly see her, until…

The sun was high in the sky, and the four walls of the gym did very little to keep the heat at bay. The match had already started by the time the girls got there, with the second set in full swing as they managed to find just enough seats for their group of four.

‘Coming through, sorry!” The girls recited like a mantra until they made it to their destination.

“This all could’ve been avoided if Himari would’ve just accepted to come in the first place.” Satomi chimed in, avoiding the glare the other girl shot her way.

“You guys could’ve come without me.” She pouted, slumping down in her seat.

“No, we agreed this would be a GROUP outing. No one left behind.”

“Why did we even have to come at all? None of y’all are into sports.”

“I may not be into sports, but I’m into him.” Satomi nodded towards the curly-headed #15.

“Kiyoomi? I should’ve known. He never talks, and that’s exactly your type.” Himari said, laughing when all she received was a smirk in response.

“What about you, Himari? Who's your type on the team?” Sakura asked.

“Don’t have one.” Himari shot her down immediately.

“I can see you with Shugo, Hima!” Satomi enthused.

“You girls are impossible. I shouldn’t have come.” Himari sighed, standing up to leave. This was a waste of her time after all.

“Hey dumbass, duck before you get hit!” Someone shouted. Himari turned to see a ball flying her way. Her fight or flight failed her, and their less popular sister ‘freeze’ presented herself at what had to be the worst time possible. She closed her eyes, awaiting the object’s brash introduction to her face.

Yet, it never came.

Instead, she heard cheers all around her. When Himari opened her eyes, she came face to face with a man much taller than her holding a ball and donning a dazzling smile.

“You okay?” He asked, his bleach blonde hair drenched in sweat.

Himari nodded frantically, unable to do anything but sit back down.

The game quickly resumed, but the swift movements on the court did very little to slow the thumping of Himari’s heart.

They stayed until the ball rolled off the court and into the team manager’s hands. The girls kept in close proximity to each other as the whole gym attempted to shuffle through the double doors.

“Sooo…Hima…” 

Himari sighed. Nothing good ever came when Satomi used that tone of voice. “Yes, Satomi.” She replied flatly.

“I saw that smile Atsumu gave you. What do you think?”

Atsumu. So that was his name.

“I’m appreciative of him catching the ball before I lost my face.That’s it.”

Satomi groaned. “Seriously? Not even a little interested? He was totally checking you out! You guys would be so cute together! Star volleyball player and academic prodigy!” She said dreamily. “Even if it isn’t Atsumu, maybe somebody else? “Come on, Hima. Surely you must be into somebody on the team!”

Knowing she couldn’t get herself out of this conversation any other way, Himari said:

“Negative. Nobody wants to deal with guys that can’t take anything but volleyball seriously, anyway. Why would I want to deal with that?”

Ever since that day, Atsumu kept his distance despite his feelings. After all, pining after a girl that saw athletes as a waste of time surely wouldn’t end well for him, right? Yet, the young setter just couldn’t shake how he felt. He observed her on her way to class, greeting professors in the hallways. He noticed how she took the time after class to help others with the material. He even ran into her occasionally feeding the stray dogs in town. Surely someone like that couldn’t possibly dislike sports players for such a futile reason…?

But that’s what she said.

His stupid brain reminded him every time his eyes lingered. Every time he found himself laughing at the jokes she’d tell her friends right before class began. Every time she wore that one skirt to class that flowed just a little too fluidly when she twirled around-

“Athlete. Not her type. Right.” Atsumu mumbled to himself, snapping out of his thoughts.

He walked the halls, nearly walking past a group of students putting up a large sign near the entrance.

Don’t Kiss, Just Tell! Do you have someone you’ve always wanted to confess to, but just couldn’t bring yourself to? Let it all out in a radio message! Tell them everything you like about them, and leave nothing out. Calls are accepted both identified or anonymous. Will you be brave enough to proudly profess your love? Who knows, you might just land yourself a Valentine… Courtesy of the A/V Club

Atsumu read the number and date at the bottom of the poster. The event was two days from now.

“Thinking of finally manning up and confessing to your genius girlfriend?” A familiar voice said behind him.

Atsumu rolled his eyes and turned around to face his gray-haired brother. “Fuck off. I was just reading it.”

“It might work if you ask me. You’re so obvious she’ll realize it’s you even if you stay anonymous, she’ll marry you out of pity and your future kids will have a fighting chance at being smarter than you.” Osamu listed off his reasons only to barely dodge the punch Atsumu sent his way.

“Sheesh, tough crowd.”

Atsumu laid in bed that Friday night, twirling his phone idly. It was radio show night, and “Don’t Kiss, Just Tell!” was in full swing. There were multiple, rather public displays of affection, including some loser from the soccer team practically objectifying some poor girl, insisting he wanted to “see them tiddies.” That one nearly made Atsumu cut the broadcast off altogether. He wouldn’t blame Himari for hating someone like that.

The small device in his hand buzzed, his brother’s name appearing on the screen.

Samu: haven’t heard you profess your love yet, Romeo

Atsumu rolled his eyes, of course Osamu was tuned in while working at his on-campus stall and anticipating his contribution.

Atsumu: don’t you have customers to attend to?

O: it’s this pretty little thing called multitasking. Call the show! Unless you want someone else to call about her.

The boy sighed, sitting up. He definitely didn’t want that. But what was he going to say? What if he sounded stupid? Atsumu wondered if Himari was even listening.

No. It didn’t matter if she was listening. There was the option to be anonymous, so he could just call in, get these feelings off his chest, and move on from the one-sidedness of whatever this was.

Atsumu’s fingers tapped his phone screen in quick succession before his brain could catch up and potentially stop them.

“Wooo! Everyone settle down and listen up because we have another caller!” Fuck.

“Caller, either state your name or speak your mind! Either way, no judgment here. Just say what feels right!”

Atsumu didn’t give his brain time to second guess itself OR time to think of what to say.

“Well, I’m not sure what to say, but I guess I can start at the beginning. The first time I ever noticed this person was in the middle of a match. I was frustrated as the odds weren’t in the team’s favor at the moment. I was close to losing it until I saw you. It was the first time I’d smiled since the game started,” He rambled, trying his best to keep any specific details out. “Ever since that day, I can’t get you out of my mind. You walk through the halls, laughing with your friends and you’re the only person I see. Your laugh is quickly becoming my favorite song. Professors announce the highest marks on recent tests and your name is called every time. Of course it is, you’re so smart. With that level of intelligence, I wouldn’t even blame you for being stuck up or presumptuous, but you’re not. You take time out of your day to help people that are confused and you’re so patient. I even see you tending to the stray dogs in the area, and it warms my heart how sweet you are.” Atsumu sighed. He was sure people were sick of him, but it felt impossible to stop once he opened the floodgates. “I’ve longed to get to know you for months, but I doubt you’d ever like me back. So, I just wanted to speak on my feelings so I can move on.”

“Excuse me, but if I can just interject.” The host spoke up. “Are you sure you don’t want to identify yourself? This is the most genuine confession we’ve heard all night!”

“Uhh, yeah. I’m good, man. I’d love to treat her the way she deserves, but I don’t think she’d go for a guy like me.”

“Do you at least want to say your crush’s name? They should at least know they’ve made someone feel this way.”

Atsumu hesitated. He hadn’t thought about revealing who Himari was. Should he? It’s not like she’d figure out who it was regardless.

No. Himari is a pretty reserved person. She wouldn’t like her name attached to such a public announcement. She barely enjoyed the praise in class. Also, wouldn’t naming her make it seem like Atsumu wants to seduce her? His intention was purely to get it off his chest.

“Are you still there?” the host asked, yanking the blond-haired man out of his internal dilemma.

Without responding, Atsumu lowered the phone from his face, hitting the red button.

“That’s the end of that.” He mumbled.

 Buzz.

Buzz.

Himari tossed and turned in bed, sighing deeply. Her phone had been going off for the past hour, and she’d been waiting patiently for it to die down so she could go back to sleep because who could possibly be bothering her at 9 AM on a Saturday?

The buzzing subsided for a while, and Himari thought she was in the clear. Until she heard her ringtone, that is.

She slammed her pillow on her head, screaming into the muffled void.

She checked the screen. “Satomi, what do you want?”

“Come open the door.”

Himari shot up from the bed. “There’s no way you’re at my house right now.”

The banging on the front door was confirmation enough. Trudging out of bed, she swung it open to reveal her two best friends on the other side.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“You weren’t answering the phone.” Satomi brushed past her, making a beeline for the living room.

“That’s because if you’re having an emergency, you need to call the police.” Himari fell back on the sofa, closing her eyes.

“It’s not that kind of emergency, Hima. Did you listen to the A/V club’s episode last night?” Sakura asked.

“You know I don’t listen to that mess.”

“That means you missed your love confession, then.” Satomi mused.

“My what?”

“Allegedly, Satomi.” Sakura side eyed the younger girl. “Hima, listen to the recording. We really think this could be about you.”

Himari watched as her friends pressed play.

“The first time I ever noticed this person was in the middle of a match.”

“Professors announce the highest marks on recent tests and your name is called every time.”

“You take time out of your day to help people that are confused and you’re so patient.”

“How do you know it’s about me? He never said a name. He didn’t even say his own!”

“But,” Satomi raised her finger in the air, “He did say the first time he saw her was during a match where he was losing. Our team has either been losing or lost at all the matches you’ve been to.” She pauses. “Hmm, on second thought, maybe you’re the problem.”

Himari ignored Satomi’s sly remark. “Lots of girls are there…”

“But most girls that are there, Sakura and I included, have been there before. It sounds like this guy’s first encounter with the girl was recent, so of all of us, who could that be? The girl that just recently started going to matches or girls he sees on the regular?” Satomi raised an eyebrow and nodded toward her friend. 

“So,” She started, choosing her words carefully, “If the confession’s about me…now what?”

She sighed as she saw smiles spread across her friends’ faces. “Oh my gosh…” Sakura leaned forward, her chin resting in her hand.

“I knew it!” Satomi shot up from her seat. “I knew you liked someone on the team! You couldn’t peel your eyes away from the court that day! I even tried to get you to admit it but you spewed some nonsense about not wanting to deal with any athletes. But then you kept going to matches with us! Why would you come if there’s no benefit? Who is it? Tell us!”

Sakura yanked Satomi back down on the couch, giving her a look when she complained. “Do you like someone on the team, Hima?” She asked.

Himari fidgeted in her seat, thinking back to the first time she saw Atsumu. The way he swooped in and caught the ball so effortlessly, tossed it to his spiky-haired teammate, and then turned to her with the brightest smile before asking if she was okay. Himari was even sure he was glowing. How the heck do you even glow midway into a volleyball match?

But that was just it. The Atsumu she knew was a star player. He was outgoing, brash, and a jokester. Surely, he’d never sound like the dejected caller from last night that sounded so unsure of themselves, right?

“I do, but I don’t think this is him.”

“Huh? Are you sure?” Satomi asked, pouting when Hima nodded, “I was hoping for a perfect love story. Two people crushing on each other coming together for a whirlwind romance!” She exclaimed.

“Well, why don’t we try tracking down who it is? Even if it isn’t the guy you like, maybe you’ll gain a friend? Something more?” Sakura asked.

Already feeling like her friends aren’t going to let this go, she shrugged and looked up at them:

“How do we do that?”

“Thanks, Atsumu!”

The blond smiled, waving the customer off before sitting on the small stool for a break. Osamu had run off to see some girl, leaving his twin in charge of his on-campus food stall.

Must be nice, Atsumu thought.

The past week had been…interesting, to say the least. Atsumu had to endure his teammates’ pestering as well as his brother’s teasing from his confession. The whole team wanted to know who had stolen the star setter’s heart. Atsumu didn’t entertain the conversation (He did, however, make Bokuto promise to not say anything when he guessed correctly as to who it was.)

All Atsumu wanted to do was head home and wallow study, but here he was selling onigiris while his brother was off falling in love somewhere. He sighed, resting his head on his arm atop of the counter.

“Just go ask, Hima.”

Atsumu’s ears perked up. That sounded like Himari’s best friend, which means…

He peeked out the corner of his eye, and there she was. Dressed in a hot pink crop top that revealed her melanin-kissed midriff, light blue jeans and white sneakers, her high ponytail swayed back and forth as she approached Kaito, a guy Atsumu recognized from his Psychology class.

“Hi! Kaito, right? This might seem really awkward but it’s about the radio episode from last week…”

Atsumu watched as Himari mentioned his confession to another guy, asking if it was from him. So she had heard it. Atsumu was conflicted on if he should feel happy that she heard it, or sad that she hadn’t figured out it was him. Did she really think Kaito was the type of guy to pour his heart out like that? Did she like Kaito? Had she spoken to any of the other guys? Why hadn’t she come to ask him yet?

He pulled the hat further down onto his head, covering his eyes. As much as he wanted to go over there and admit it was him, he already made up his mind that he would let it go. How could he be so sure her reaction would be positive? For all he knew, she was probably prepared to tell Kaito off. Maybe it was for the best that she hadn’t suspected him. He watched her walk back to her friends and leave the area before calling Osamu:

“Get back here before I close your stall for the day, I’m going home.”

Himari rubbed her temples as she shut off the radio show. She spent the past two weeks talking to more classmates than she ever had since orientation. She was met with many confused expressions from students either wondering why she thought it was them or why she was sure this person was talking about her. In the end, she resorted to listening to the radio special in hopes that the confessor would change his mind and call back to either reveal who he was, who he admired, or in an ideal situation: both.

Of course, this was to no avail. All she heard was call after call of people using cheesy pick-up lines and practically begging to not spend tomorrow alone. Himari walked over to her front door, slipping her sneakers on for a quick walk to the convenience store. Maybe some fresh air would calm her thoughts.

She zipped up her coat as she turned the corner, watching how the snow settled on the treetops and glittered on the roofs of the cars.

I wonder how the dogs are holding up, she wondered. She made a mental note to stop by on her way back. The bell rang as she stepped through the threshold, signaling her arrival. She waved at the cashier as she headed to the fridge, grabbing a few drinks and some ice cream to eat at home. Noticing the dog food on sale, she grabbed a few to take with her.

“Nice to see you again, Hima!” The cashier smiled, scanning her items. “Heading to see the dogs today?”

“Yep! Just for a bit. I wanna see how they’re doing in the snow.”

“Oh! Take this with you. They can use this.” She turned to a small cubby area, procuring a fluffy, gray blanket. “I don’t use it much so don’t worry about it. It’ll keep them warm.” She handed the blanket over along with Himari’s purchases and receipt.

“This is amazing, they’re going to love this. Thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it, see you next time!”

The snow had let up a bit, but Himari still made haste to the small alleyway where she usually found the dogs. She walked in, but instead of hearing the usual barks and pitter patter of paws heading towards her from them, she saw open, half-eaten tins of food. She saw the wagging tails of the dogs who were facing away from here.

And she saw very distinct bleach blond hair peeking out of a black hoodie.

“Leave me alone.”

“She’s been running around campus trying to figure out who you are, and you still think you don’t even have the tiniest chance?” Osamu asked.

Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose. Osamu had been following him around the house, pestering him about his inactivity in the matter. He just couldn’t understand how his extremely outgoing brother was suddenly taking a vow of silence regarding his feelings.

Atsumu grabbed his keys off the hook. “I’m going out for a walk.”

“I’ll come with you.” Osamu said.

“I’d rather take my shoes and socks off and walk through your collection of Legos.” He replied, slamming the door on his way out and ignoring his brother’s giggles.

He walked aimlessly for quite some time, pulling his hood over his head at the first sign of snowfall.

Is Osamu right? Isn’t just leaving her be the right thing to do? He thought to himself. It’s true that he’s never been the type to back down, but is that really the best course of action with someone he likes this much? Or maybe, his focus should be on proving to her that her thoughts about athletes are wrong. He can care about more things than just volleyball. That’s it! He’d prove her wrong and when she’s finally seen the truth, he’ll-

Atsumu was dragged out of his thoughts by a strong thump against his leg. He looked down to see a brown-fur dog wagging its tail at him.

“Now what are you doing out here in the snow like this, huh?” He smiled, leading the dog back into the alleyway. He noticed the other dogs sitting next to a trash can, also getting wet from the snow.

Finding a discarded wooden door, Atsumu laid it atop of the trash cans, giving the dogs a roof.

“There you go, that should be good enough at least for tonight. You’re probably hungry, huh? Should I get you something to eat?” Atsumu laughed at the increased wagging at the mention of food. He ran to the store around the corner, coming back with a few cans of dog food.

“Hmm, come to think of it, doesn’t Hima usually feed you guys? I guess it makes sense that she didn’t come out in the rain.” He crouched down, watching the dogs dig in. “How crazy would that be, running into her here?” He laughed to himself.

One of the dogs suddenly ran out of the makeshift doghouse, darting down the alley.

“Hey, where’re you going? You’ll get wet!” He called out until he noticed the dog stop just shy of a pair of white sneakers. The same brand he saw Hima wearing earlier that week.

His eyes fluttered upwards to meet a round, brown pair. “Oh, shit.”

“It’s you.” She said.

“Sorry?” He asked, finding his way back to his feet.

How did Himari ever think it was anyone else? “‘The first time I ever noticed this person was in the middle of a match.’ The first time I ever went to a volleyball match, you saved me from a ball to the face. ‘ Professors announce the highest marks on recent tests and your name is called every time.’ You congratulated me last time that happened. You even mentioned me feeding the stray dogs, and here you are! Oh my gosh, it’s you.” She blurted out, taking a step closer.

Atsumu scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I heard you’ve been looking for me everywhere. I’m sorry.”

Himari furrowed her eyebrows. “Wait, why are you apologizing? Wait, wait, if you knew I was looking for you, why didn’t you just say something? I ended up in the awkwardest conversations looking for you.” Himari’s face contorted into one of disbelief.

Atsumu laughed softly, finding her adorable in the moment. “I thought it was better this way. I knew you wouldn’t like me.”

“You said that in the call, too! Why wouldn’t I like you?”

It was Atsumu’s turn to look confused. “ …You said so. You said nobody wants to deal with guys that take volleyball seriously. That same day you were talking about.” He said, pointing at the much shorter girl.

Hima stared at him blankly before it clicked. She scoffed, looking off to the side. All this time, the guy she liked thought she didn’t like him for some off-topic comment she made to Satomi.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just wanted Satomi to leave me alone. I had just developed my crush on you, and I knew if I had admitted it right then and there, I’d never hear the end of it. I never meant for you to hear that. It’s not true. I’m sorry.” She looked down, focusing on the gravel below.

Atsumu disregarded her apology completely, a dazed look on his face. “You…what?”

“Huh?”

“Say it again.”

“Say what?”

Atsumu groaned. Now was not the time for miscommunications. “What you just said. I need to hear it again.”

Oh. He meant that. “I…developed a crush on you that day. I’ve liked you ever since.” She felt heat rising across her cheeks as she spoke.

“Huh,” Atsumu said incredulously. “I can’t believe I owe that idiot an apology.” He mumbled.

“What idiot?” Hima asked.

“Can I walk you home?” Atsumu said abruptly. “Please?”

“Oh.” She said, surprised. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

They left the blanket for the dogs, deciding that Himari should take the rest of the food home to give to them another day. They made the short walk back to her building, squeezing themselves into the small hallway leading to the lobby.

“I can’t believe you liked me back this entire time. I should’ve just said something.” He shook his head.

Himari smiled. “That makes two of us. Well, this is me.” She motioned to the lobby.

“Right! Well, good night! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled, turning to the door.

She giggled. “Really? You’re just going to leave?”

Atsumu turned back to face her.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” She laughed harder when she saw the mental gymnastics visibly etched on his face. “Think about what day tomorrow is. There’s a very specific question to be asked.”

A lightbulb went on in Atsumu’s head. “Ah! Um…” He tugged at the sleeves of his coat. “Right, um..Hima?”

“Yes?” She asked, loving how her nickname rolled off his tongue.

“Can I be your Valentine?”

She smiled. “I’d love to.”

A rosy hue dusted Atsumu’s cheeks, reaching the back of his neck. “Wow. Okay. Well, as your Valentine, can I make a small request?”

“What’s that?”

“Maybe, tomorrow when we inevitably go on a date, you could probably wear that skirt you wear sometimes? The really flowy one with the slit?”

Himari quirked an eyebrow. She knew exactly what skirt he was talking about. “Hmmm, for you, I think that can be arranged.”

“Yeah?” He stepped closer.

“Yeah.” She closed the gap between them.

“I’m quite the lucky guy, then.” He whispered.

“You have no idea. Even though you had no hope of this working out, you still got your radio romance.” Her eyes fell to his lips.

Atsumu took this opportunity to press them against her own, sighing in relief like he’d been holding in the urge this entire time. Maybe he was. He gave her pout a few chaste pecks before resting his forehead against hers. They both let out a soft laugh before their lips found each other again. 

arrow one: complete

[ronearoundblindly]

The Stark Legacy (26)

Tony Stark's daughter (OC) x Bucky Barnes epic slowburn

Capacity, part of Book III: Power (see previous or series)

Summary: Tony works with Namor to pay Lil'Sam's debt.

Warnings for canon-level violence (hunt for an enemy). Also, this was originally written way before MCU's version of Namor came to screen, and the character is more like the comics' version. Rated Teen/15+ ONLY, please. WC 2.5k

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX—April 2039

I do not want to die here. I will not die out here, Tony repeated again, watching Namor emerge onto the tiny island beach with a fresh catch of kelp in hand, and for once, a surprise of actual fish. As a superhuman, Namor understood very little about nutritional requirements for ‘surface-dwellers.’ Protein from fish was a treat that night.

Tony had never gone that long in space. Now on Earth, he felt pummeled towards the ground at all times. His muscles struggled; his lungs grew tired. ‘One step at a time’ became a mantra he repeated over and over. Namor, surprisingly, allowed Tony his time to physically recuperate as long as his mind remained in spitfire condition, which was no easy task while cut off from radio contact on a remote island.

The buoyancy in the water helped. His muscles needed the rest. Tony abhorred eating in front of Namor, the challenge being to lift the weight of the food and repetition of minute motion without any aid from his suit, but the King of Atlantis seemed unimpressed by Iron Man’s shaking hands or slow rehabilitation in normal gravity.

Friday used low-power mode to ignite the pile of wood he’d assembled then minimized his suit for his daily physical therapy, using his own muscles instead of his iron-aid. His initial fear of dying due to dehydration evaporated when Namor summoned clean, fresh water out of nowhere into a stone jug solely for Tony, but the island fruit, kelp, and odd fish diet left much to be craved. However, he was alive. Score one for Tony.

“This mother fish had a good life, and I feel you will appreciate her death so you may live.”

Yes, old lady fish sounds scrumptious. “I do appreciate it—her sacrifice,” he replied instead, “thank you.”

Unlike many other nights, Namor joined Tony by the fire, staring into the flames, the stars obscured by thick clouds. Tony would never get even the simplest signal through that mess. 

Every so often, Friday caught a transmission from Banner at HQ, but this pathetically remote, square-mile island couldn’t consistently ping any satellite. If Tony got Friday to boost the signal, he risked lowering his power supply. Namor had made it clear that he should be prepared to leave at any moment if the King received word of Tigershark, and Tony did not want to be stuck deep in the ocean, fighting water-breathers, when his O2 level went critical with little power. Within the last two weeks, there had been three sightings, but the pair had arrived too late.

Tony flipped the fish on the hot stone inside the flame, nibbling on yesterday’s dried kelp.

This was the first time in recent memory that Namor stayed top-side long enough for his hair to dry, curling gently around his ears. Despite the appearance of black locks and black eyes, when dressed with sufficient light on dry land, both were more chestnut, not so different from Tony’s before his hair had gone gray, before he started dying it back darker to stop references to ‘salt and pepper.’ Tony felt close to a panic attack every time someone uttered that phrase.

“I recognize him now,” Namor tossed into the fire. “I know why Tigershark came to Atlantis.”

Tony’s interest peaked though the king decided to extend the drama of reminiscing over a dance of gold and ember. He coaxed the seaman on, “and…”

“Todd Arliss, the sniveling, arrogant, swimmer from your country, regularly swam feats of endurance across unsafe waters. He caused dozens of other, weaker swimmers to attempt the same and fail. For months, areas of the seas were littered with bodies of men, women, and some children who died trying to emulate Arliss, yet he continued. One particular day, during some sort of human warrior show, a boy fell off a ship. That idiot Arliss stopped a professional team from rescuing the boy. He believed his show of strength was worth more than a minute of breath for the boy dying in the water,” Namor scowled while reciting his tale. “I sent a current to stop him. I snapped his spine against the ship and kept the boy afloat until a real rescue team came for them both. I should have drowned that fool.”

Tony remembered that feeling of regret so vividly. “So you made a demon and he haunts you. Been there.”

“You did. You made him, and now you know what—”

He forgot his cover. “Okay, first of all,” Tony blurted, too hungry and tired to hold his tongue, “I didn’t do anything to or for Arliss. That pompous—” He caught himself. “I’ve never met him, but I am partly, indirectly responsible for the technology that was stolen to change him, maybe. And second, he could not have become a water-breathing mutant on his own. We need who he’s working with. That’s the real evil.”

Namor considered Tony’s words without moving.

“Third,” Tony started again more calmly this time, “let’s review what we know.” Which would be a lot easier if I could talk to Banner. This is one of those times where listening would come in handy. If he hadn’t been off-world for so long, he would know the lay of the land better.“Actually, what do we know?”

“Tigershark—Arliss is not intelligent enough to do this alone. If you did not transform him, who did? No being in the ocean would dare give him that power.”

“If I could be on land, civilization land to speak to—” but Tony was stopped by the blazing eyes that met his.

“You will pay your debt, Stark.”

“Yes, but we need info. So bad guy on land needs to be tracked as we do on land. The fish haven’t produced any bubbles of wisdom have they?” Namor bristled, but Tony kept going. “Let me do this my way, and we can both get what we want—” he slapped the cooked fish onto a different rock to cool “—and some fries would be great.”

Honestly, Tony was relieved that things progressed so quickly once he and Friday had access to what Banner and the team knew. He may not have had much time to chit-chat about, say, Sam, but that would have proved a distraction and possibly ruined the advantage of their freshest intel. Banner always had a way with tracking energy signatures; Tony called it ‘romancing the wave.’

Knowing the previous places Tigershark had been in the last weeks, Banner tracked anomalous weather buoy movement around coasts to narrow the mutant’s landfall location. From there, lacking social media or conspiracy theory postings about a shark out of water, he found city sewer plans for runoff pipes, dismissed pipes too small for a man-sized shark to wiggle through, and produced a short-list of convenient spots, such as abandoned warehouses or sparsely populated neighborhoods. Tony had never been so grateful for the well-oiled, well-funded machine that was his team.

Namor loathed hunting on land or spending any significant stretch out of the water. Tony loathed following a scantily-clad water-dude around. The man needed a super swimsuit with a lot more coverage, even climbing out of the tropical waters in between Belem and Sao Luis, Brazil. They didn’t have far inland to go and only four suspicious locations. 

Incidentally, the first location was correct, which left the two shocked and off-balance, scrambling when the door to the condemned building flew off its crooked hinges. The rusted metal smacked Tony’s suit in the jaw, making a toe-curling scraping noise all the way up the helmet.

Tony’s visual feed flickered. “Wild guess, we found ‘em.”

The once golden-haired Olympian emerged tall, now crowned by a sharp protruding fin atop his skull, ribbed faintly up the length of his back. The taut, thick grey skin covering his streamlined swimmer physique peeled away at the mouth to reveal three rows of tiny razor teeth. Arliss was disgusting, but while Tony picked apart Tigershark’s mutant puzzle, the man-creature rushed him with two outstretched arms tipped with heavily webbed fingers and thick nails.

A high-pitched scream rang out from the open doorway. Namor bolted inside, leaving Tony with a ravenous monster from the deep lunging toward him.

Arliss’s flat jaw, squared full of extra teeth and a shrunken, useless tongue, chomped at Tony’s face. Tony clamped his Iron hands against each end of his mouth while Slippery Todd latched around his waist. 

Tony wondered whether Sam had seen Todd like this and if she’d been scared. Had they threatened her to help them? Hurt her? Perhaps they lied, and Sam had no intention of turning a man into this…thing. 

His boot thrusters forced them off the ground a few feet, and without traction from his smooth skin and partial wet suit, Tigershark began to slide. Tony forced his legs into a slingshot arch that slammed the dangling, foreign weight to the ground.

The transformation must have added flexibility to Arliss’s bones. He slithered upright with teeth bared again.

“Namor,” Tony called. “You want a crack at this guy or what?” Tigershark was gone by the time he turned back around. “Shit,” he mumbled. While he tracked the low body temperature of the retreating mutant, his display warned of more than just Namor and his betrothed inside. “Friday, send a heat-seeker and a track-dart for good measure.”

“Yes, Boss.”

Inside, Namor battered his trident against a cage. Two doors in lay the blue-skinned body of a similarly slippery-suited woman. Tony blew the locks between Namor and Dorma until something far stronger blasted him against the opposite wall. Right, Beach Boy doesn’t know how to secure a damn building. Good news though: Friday confirmed nothing was broken.

A lanky, middle-aged man with a fierce widow’s peak in a white lab coat flaunted a comically giant gun, one heavy enough to require both hands and balancing on his hip. The white coat bore a slice across the chest, red at the frayed edges; Namor had gotten a strike in. Rambo waltzed right past the Atlantean king. Sparks zapped across the gun’s wide muzzle. Energy weapon, origin unknown. Friday searched for analysis. 

“Welcome, Mr. Stark, “the creepy doctor, assuming from the clothing, drawled in a thick accent. “I’ve been dying to know. How is our Harvard girl?”

Tony cocked an eyebrow, but Iron Man’s face gave nothing away.

“I was pleased to hear that moron of a king not only failed to kill her, but that my gift has borne the fruit of—”

“Your what now?” Tony half-listened, aiming a bullet at a tiny spot clear of the power source and the magazine within. He didn’t want to blow the whole place with a bad shot. “Look if ‘gift’ is a euphemism for,” an Iron arm swung past his crotch, “then you’ll have to book with a different therapist. Freud is available in hell on Tuesday. Please see the assistant.” Tony pointed, firing a small-caliber to disable the triggering system. 

The doctor’s gun died, sputtering an electric swan-song before dropping. His target remained unfazed by the loss of his weapon, and less fazed still by Namor bolting out to the sea with Dorma in his arms. 

The doctor grabbed his chest wound. “Oh please, Stark. Do you really not know? Are you that out of touch?” The bright white of his smile stood out against dark features. 

Tony ignored him, dispatching two magnetic cuffs at Dorcas’s wrists. He recognized the face now, vaguely, from when Agent Hill handed him a file in a room above the Earth. Doctor Lemuel Dorcas, known associate of Harvard professor Simon Marshall. Sam? She really met Tigershark? She really is mixed up in all this. 

“I’ll give you a hint,” the doctor continued, “What burns at 3000 degrees Celsius? What could stop a tsunami?” 

This guy was the link, the connecting puzzle piece. The glow in Bucky’s arm. Sam has Extremis. Sam is infected with Extremis? No broken bones, no healed fractures. 

The toothy grin shifted in thought. “You know, in a way, I have supported young Samantha’s development more than you yourself have. Does that make me a better father?”

Tony grasped Dorcas by the throat, but the doctor wouldn’t stop talking, spitting a few drops of blood with every few words.

“You fathered her, yes, but I gave her a way to leave you behind. I made her what she is now.”

Tony’s helmet popped open. “The hell you are—”

Spit flew red. “I gave her what she needed.”

“You gave her a virus. You made her sick.” Tony shook Dorcas, pulling against the magnetic restraints.

“I saw her potential, and I encouraged it,” Dorcas gurgled a laugh. “We helped her. Sam has friends now.” 

“You sick son of a bitch, you put her in danger,” Tony screamed so close to Dorcas’s face he could rupture an eardrum. “Now I’m gonna put you in the ground.” Iron Man’s palm pressed into the doctor’s gut with bruising force. “Slowly. Painfully.” He fired, the ringing of the steel bars behind his target echoing off the walls. Tony released his grip on the man’s throat and let the body drop to the floor like a wet sack of potatoes.

Dorcas slumped, hands high and pulled at unnatural angles by the cuffs. His gurgling stopped, and Iron Man left him there to die.

Tony’s ears rang. A sharp pain stabbed him behind the eyes. His head throbbed. There was no sign of Tigershark aside from a tracker inside a chunk of flesh that appeared to be bitten off. Tony dutifully returned to the beach, but he did not go back into the water. 

No one was around. 

His mind turned over and over, his idea of his daughter being rewritten by the second. Child? No. Harvard? Not that type of student. His? He wouldn’t have done this. Would he?

The truth stung him deep inside. Tony absolutely had done it. He put toxic metal into his body, told no one he was dying, injected untested trackers under his skin, instigated a genocidal robot that almost wiped out the planet. He had done all of it in the hopes no one else would have to hurt—that was the lie he told himself. The motivations muddled and shifted: because it helps others, because you can, because it’s cool, sounds fun, challenges you, doesn’t challenge you, makes you impressive, saves lives, puts someone out of business, embarrasses someone. Vanity tied with charity in a bow. Philanthropy, indeed.

Tony watched the water with unseeing eyes.

“If I were an observant man, I would think you had an investment in this beyond my threat.” Namor returned from the sea to stand beside him. When Tony didn’t reply, the king relinquished, “go home, Stark. You have paid your debt.” Namor walked back to the surf, diving smoothly beneath the foaming crests.

“No, I haven’t,” Tony whispered to himself. His helmet shot back up over his face. “Friday, we’re going to headquarters.”

“Flight plan established.” The suit and Tony left the beach.

“Show me all files on Samantha Stark.”

“Yes, Boss. What year would you like to start with?”

[Chapter 27: Pigeons]

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[tryskomys]

Wet Sand

Stone Gossard x OC

Chapter 4 - Watermelon In Easter Hay

Summary: you get me. that’s why.

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

notes: chapter foooour! disclaimer: this one is quite tough, so be careful about the tw’s and look out for each other, guys <3 tough times always end and we come out the other way stronger than ever before.

tw: a lot of hurt. mentions of the thing that rhymes with kegs, brief mentions of drug abuse, addiction, brief hint at s*1c1de, description of panic attacks/trauma dissociation. comfort.

i promise that the next one will be so agressively fluffy you’ll drown in it.

songs:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

Somehow, time suddenly started to pass quicker than usual, especially in the context of prolonged winter nights.

The number of oat milk lattes pressed was slowly rising into the low hundreds over the next three weeks, the lunch feasts weren’t as flashy as the first time - it was more of a lunch snack split between three people.

But Kiki didn’t mind.

I could get used to this.

The mantra played on a loop in her head when she got up each morning, the entire bike ride to the parking lot, the whole walk from there to the café.

She was so excited about getting used to this that despite her crippling insomnia, she began to arrive to work about half an hour before Jeff, who was a self-proclaimed morning bird.

She just couldn’t wait.

To get there and wipe the tables. To scribble the dailies on the menu blackboard. To hear Jeff’s adorable righteous fury when he started yapping about yesterday’s ball game - in fact, she was looking forward to learning all the details.

Most of all, though, to catch a flash of wild ruddy hair through the window and hear a knock on the door. See Stone shaking a paper bag in the air with a wide smile as she let him in, receiving a delightfully warm croissant and an even warmer hug.

“That, sir, is illegal. Do the higher-ups know that you’re nicking under their noses every day?”

“You said I’m a punk, I gotta protect my reputation.”

Still, the Christmas holidays couldn’t come fast enough. So, right after her last shift of the year, Kiki beelined to the laundromat to pick up her clothes as quickly as she could.

She stuffed the few pieces she had into her backpack and headed straight home. She was already running late to a meet-up with Stone back at Pioneer Square. It was the day of a long awaited holiday night-out.

When she got back to her apartment, she grinned as she rummaged a t-shirt out of the bag. It had a big Nets logo on the front. Jeff brought it to her yesterday, it still had a pleasant soapy scent.

“Don’t worry, it’s fresh from the laundry basket. It’s a bit big but it’ll do. Now that you’re starting to warm up to it, I have to sway you to the right team.”

“Jesus, Ames, you’re tasteless. Always with the propaganda. Let her form her own opinion.”

“You’re just mad that you didn’t get one.”

Kiki was giddy when she caught herself calling the unlikely duo ‘friends’ in her head.

I could get used to this.

She was whistling an Aerosmith song - another consequence of daily hanging out with Jeff - while she cuffed the baggy sleeves of her newly acquired NBA apparel.

Tightening the shoelaces of her combat boots, she softly cursed when she bent down - she felt a stab in her stomach. No lunch today.

It was the beginning of a holiday break, meaning all money goes to cheap beer and 3 a.m. Doghouse fries to-go.

And the rent was due.

No, asking him for another help-out isn’t an option. Not again. You won’t die if you only eat once a day for a week.

And besides, she was planning to return everyone’s hospitality by buying at least one round tonight.

The two of them had a rendezvous at the Off Ramp with Chris, Jeff and a couple of guys. A cherub-looking jester called Andy, who occasionally washed the dishes at the café, and Stone and Jeff’s sweet gangly bandmate, Bruce.

One thing she’d learned over her multiple visits to the Off Ramp - it was probably the worst excuse for a bar she’d ever seen.

The upside was that the music was impeccable and the alcohol was ID-free.

That was about it.

First of all, it was Stone’s money laundering headquarters. He lured in unassuming patrons to make bizarre bets with him while knowing the payoff like the back of his hand.

His favourite was guessing how many dead cockroaches there were next to the vodka shelf - it was usually between five and eight.

One of the most successful schemes so far was when he got a group of French girls to each bet a shot that Matt from Soundgarden would break a stick within the first song.

He broke two in the first thirty seconds.

Stone won four shots and Kiki mocked him for missing out on an ‘authentic French kiss’ when he turned his cheek as one of the girls went in for a passionate bonus prize.

Plus, only she knew that he’d sneaked backstage before the show to file a weak spot in four of Matt’s flimsy drumsticks - she was the one guarding the back room so no one would walk in on him.

Jeff, meanwhile, was an angel. Carefully watching everyone’s drinks so they wouldn’t get spiked, something that was sadly a common occurrence in the sweaty dim hell hole. Always ready to light anyone’s stick of choice. Rocking out to every song with identical enthusiasm, even if he’d heard it thirty times over.

But even the most joyous of companies couldn’t deny the fact that a certain degree of thick skin was needed to snake through the narrow corridors.

All the vomit stains and broken bottles on the carpeted floors sometimes called for nearly athletic skills.

There seemed to be a different kind of bodily fluid for every inch of the dancefloor. On top of that, it was all lousily enlightened by a disco ball that was threatening to fall apart at any moment.

If you wandered too close to the supposed kitchen, the stench was so pungent it must’ve caused at least one nosebleed over the years in service.

The women’s restrooms were desolate. There was more piss on the floor than in the actual toilet bowls, powder sprinkles of questionable origin were scattered around the sinks and the mirrors were broken, barely functional and always covered in lipstick stains and sweaty handprints.

And the guys that had - for obvious reasons - visited both, swore that the men’s room was far, far worse.

In other bars around Seattle, it wouldn’t be shocking to accidentally stumble upon some couple enjoying their date in a bathroom stall. Here, it was less common.

You were more likely to bump into them right in front of the restrooms, blocking the way in.

To spend a night out at the Ramp was a truly authentic pagan experience.

I could get used to this.

Kiki opted for leaving her bike at home and took in a deep breath of the frosty air as she strolled through the busy streets of Chinatown.

The sun was long gone and a fog settled over the roads, so she clutched her crochet bag closer and tried to warm up by folding her arms.

Andy, who was fronting another domestic band, had an enchanting voice and Bruce was already a solid third cog in a well-synergized string faction of Green River.

So the five of them were planning to jam as soon as possible.

But something always came up. Christmas was around the corner and everybody took more shifts at work to afford the luxuries of holidays.

That was twice as true for musicians - none of them simply had time to focus on music, hence her lack of session gigs. Her excitement was immeasurable, though.

To play with like-minded people, finally able to express herself however she wanted.

Unable to sustain a minute of peace, though, her brain always came up with pointless arguments.

Can I express myself, though? ‘Myself’ is not nearly good enough to keep up with them.

With him.

I wonder how he feels music. Does he hunch? Bop his head? Jump around or just sway?

Are his eyes closed? He seems like someone who would mouth along with his riffs. Nerd.

Can't really imagine how he touches the strings, though. Maybe he does a lot of slides.

Heavy and slow. Teasing.

That sounds like him.

“Look what the cat dragged in. Baby, do you own a watch? I’ve been waiting here for like fifteen minutes,” Stone muttered through chattering teeth when she finally arrived at their meeting spot, startling her out of her thoughts. “I’m pretty sure this is frozen solid, along with my balls.”

Kiki already recognized the paper bag he was clutching.

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion when he waved his wrist in front of her face to show her the time and then gave her a bone-crushing hug.

“God dammit, I forgot to wind it. Sorry,” she mumbled into his chest, a flaming blush prickling her icy ears.

The scent of fresh pastries and cinnamon still lingered on his sweatshirt.

“What’s the ruckus?” she let him go and immediately checked her watch to twist the little winding wheel.

“Huh? Oh, I was running late in the morning so I couldn’t stop by. I grabbed it on my way home at least, don’t wanna lose my stealing streak,” he shrugged as she took the bag from him and they both set off.

“Ah, you’re a saint, Stoney. I’m so hungry I could eat a fucking horse,” she breathed out puffs of fog.

“Ames and I were wondering where you got lost. Thought you had slipped on ice and fallen into a ditch,” she huffed. She struggled to keep up with his brisk tempo and munch on her cold cinnamon roll at the same time. “I had a cake in mind, you know, to bring to the hospital.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmpf. All pink with big chocolate letters on top,” she mumbled through a mouthful of food, waving her hand in the air to mime handwriting. “'Good riddance.'”

He scoffed, reluctantly chomping down when she offered him a bite.

“Slow down or you’ll choke. I don’t wanna spend the night with my hand down your throat,” he chuckled, slightly concerned by the sheer speed of her eating.

“You said you had a first-aid course, no? Time to put your money where your mouth is,” she muttered again and gulped down the last bite.

The Ramp was packed to the brim, but it wasn’t hard to find the colourful cast of friends, even in the dim orange light.

Chris and Bruce towered over the sea of people like long-haired maypoles, passing a joint to Jeff. He was wearing a bright purple hat with an orange bow - an extravagant wizard. And as they got closer, Andy, who was a lot shorter than the three of them, surprisingly stood out even more. Unmistakable with his furry white coat and bright red lipstick.

Stone, in his kaleidoscope vest, was holding her hand so he wouldn’t lose her in the crowd. Her fingers were still cold as ice, but somehow they warmed him down to the marrow of his bones.

Unbeknownst to her, his mind worked in similar patterns to hers.

I could get used to this.

● ● ● ● ● ●

“…they’ve been away for a month, so, obviously, I was salivating for all the details, shivering like a fucking Chihuahua. And then he just stepped out of his ugly station wagon, stinking like rotten eggs and with a bloody scratch on his cheek, like, this big,” Andy colourfully explained, raised his little finger to illustrate and continued.

“Gave me that fucking blank stare of his and asked me if I knew that Crüe dumped Nikki Sixx in a dumpster last week.”

Kiki rolled her eyes and puffed out a laugh. Somehow, her conversation with Andy derailed to the story of Green River’s disasterous DIY tour.

“Jeez…what a sweet talker,” she scoffed, her grin growing wider when Andy’s baby blue eyes popped open as he vehemently nodded.

“And I was like…no?” he raised his knitted eyebrows and shook his head. “And he shrugged and went: ‘Well, Crüe dumped Nikki Sixx in a dumpster last week.’ And didn’t say a word for the rest of the day.”

“Pfft, he just wanted to be mysterious,” Kiki snorted, taking a swig of her beer.

There seemed to be a pattern, though.

Observing him for the past month, she’d noticed that Stone sometimes switched into a completely different person. Especially when getting into specific topics.

Usually hard drugs, relationships and politics.

The sarcasm suddenly became borderline cruel, not playful. And his cool punky attitude felt stoic and alien.

“Had to question Ames afterwards, because Stoney just. wouldn’t. talk. about it. He just does that sometimes. Nomen est omen, I guess,” Andy chuckled, confirming her suspicion.

“Unresolved childhood trauma, maybe?” she shrugged and took a swig of her beer.

I recognize that one from a mile away.

“Nah, the Gossards are the sweetest sweethearts of all the sweethearts ever,” Andy shook his head. His chubby cheeks were flushed from the shots of tequila Stone had been supplying all night.

A bunch of tourists were in the house, which meant a fruitful playground.

“I think he was just born that way.”

“Heartless?” Kiki scoffed, her smile widening when she caught Stone giving her subtle thumbs up from the bar.

The bartender was already pouring another round. Stone grinned when she returned the gesture and then started wiping off a lipstick stain on his cheek with a slightly disgusted expression. Andy smirked.

“Composed,” he shrugged.

“Weeeell, a little detached.”

“…practical,” he added, biting his cheek to contain laughter. Kiki squinted at him and shook her head.

“Yeah, bullshit. I still smell trauma,” she mumbled, gulping down another sip.

A question was playing around her head for some time. And now seemed to be the perfect moment to ask.

Because if Stone was the resourceful little shit of the group, Andy was the all-knowing chatterbox.

“Did that guy ever manage to keep a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, once,” Andy replied, playing around with the squeezed slice of lime in his empty shot glass.

“There we fucking go! The enigma of Stone Gossard solved! Good job, my dear Watson,” Kiki slapped her thighs, raising her bottle to clink Andy’s empty glass. He giggled like a child. Different people had different reactions to her dry English attitude.

Jeff seemed to have an open mind despite clearly not getting it.

Chris usually gave her disarming smiles, probably taking it for a cute younger-sister quirk.

Stone was…well, Stone about it. Never missing a beat to shoot back at her like he had been deprived of an arguing partner for his whole life.

And Andy always rewarded her with the most angelic giggles she’d ever heard.

“…well? Spill the beans!” Kiki nudged him, leaning a bit closer on the bar table. Andy dismissively waved her off.

“Oh, I don’t like to gossip…” he nonchalantly shook his head.

They stared at each other with wide eyes before bursting into wild cackles, getting a few confused looks from people around them.

When Andy was done with his adorable snorts, he cleared his throat.

“Okay, so, way back in…’84 methinks. Her name was Tara, she was from Utah or Alabama or…whatever, who gives a shit. Anyway, very religious family, Mormons I think, you know how they do it down there,” he theatrically shivered with disgust and continued.

“However. Stoney’s brash mouth could seduce a fucking saint. I’ve heard it rumoured that she screamed for Jesus the first time he -“

“Woah, okay, okay, no, thanks. I get it, please spare me,” she scowled and plugged her ears.

She hoped that Andy wouldn’t notice the raging blush that rapidly filled her entire face, but he was very hard to fool.

“I know you wanna hear all of it -” he smirked, “- but very well. Anyway, he was completely smitten. Treated her so right, didn’t give her any of that shithead attitude.”

That sounds terrifying.

“All of a sudden like a lamb. It was terrifying.”

“Bet,” Kiki snorted and bit into the rim of her bottle to tame the growing smirk on her face. “And how was she?”

“Apparently, not bad,” he mused, giggling again when her eyes widened and she threateningly lunged forward.

“Sorry, sorry,” he raised his arm in defence and took a few seconds to compose himself. “Well, once he helped her out of her redneck shell, she was, uh, how do I put it…”

“A cool girl?” Kiki shrugged and took a swig.

“An insufferable bitch,” he deadpanned and the beer flew out of her nose. He gave her some time to wipe her mouth and continued in a slightly sombre tone.

“She cheated a whole lot, probably wanted to try out as much as she could, now that she’d realized that God can’t make her cum,” he explained, making her snort again.

Fucking hell. This clown. I love him.

The way the story was going, though, her enjoyment slowly faded.

“You know that he’s a tease. And sometimes girls mistake his sarcasm for flirting.”

Yeah, tell me about it.

"So she used to make out with people right in front of him just to make him jealous,” Andy scowled and she mirrored his expression.

“Oof. How long did that go on?” Kiki asked, not even sure if she wanted to hear the rest of the story.

Her gaze trailed off to Stone’s grin as he was handing a shot to Bruce a few feet away from them. Now, there was something behind his smile that she hadn’t noticed before.

“About a year and a half or something, on and off,” Andy’s voice snapped her back to the conversation. “Then she broke up with him and went back home. I bet she married her cousin or something.”

Kiki scoffed and shook her head. She wasn’t sure how to comment on it, so she let Andy finish his story, even though she regretted even asking for it.

“He was devastated after all that, barely talked for weeks. I think he secretly used to be a romantic, but she kinda sobered him up from that whole ‘soulmate’ thing. I don’t think he’s dated anyone else since,” he ended with a shrug, mindlessly biting into the lime he fished out of the shot glass.

It seemed like he was trying to lighten the mood, his face twisting into a scrunched grimace.

“A Greek tragedy, really,” she followed his suit, letting out a bleak chuckle.

Andy waved his hand and swallowed a few times to push the sourness down before continuing in a slightly slurry voice.

“No, seriously. It kinda makes me sad. Actually, I think I haven’t seen him kiss a girl since then, you know?”

And you dare to laugh at me, beanpole?

“Yeah, he flirts and sleeps around, but he never kisses anyone on the lips,” Andy added, shrugging. “Maybe it’s some kind of a self-defence mechanism, I don’t know. I have no idea what’s going on behind that huge forehead of his.”

Oh.

“Like, he enjoys the one-night-stand-thrill or whatever but also doesn’t like it when girls touch him. And I mean touch as in this -” he reached out, patted Kiki’s shoulder and then rubbed her back. “-right?”

…yeah. But…

“Cringes at hugs and stuff, but once he’s enough inches away and certain that they're into it, he doesn’t have a problem with straight up telling them he wants to fuck their brains out,” Andy shook his head. “And somehow, it works. Sometimes I wonder if he’s even from the same planet.”

“I mean, that makes two of us, the hugging thing. But he does it whenever we meet anyway, so there’s a scoop for you,” Kiki tried to sound as careless as possible, kicking back the rest of her beer in one swell swoop.

“It’s different with you, you’re like his little Pooky bear,” Andy smirked, lacing his fingers under his chin. She snorted and raised her eyebrows.

“A what?”

“Pooky. You know Garfield, right? The comics?”

When Kiki shook her head with a curious smile, Andy gasped.

“What?! Sarcastic little shit of a cat who hates everyone but his teddy bear Pooky? And Pooky always pretends that he’s just a toy and then suddenly moves and rearranges stuff just to fuck with Garfield’s head?” he babbled, wildly gesturing.

“That sounds deranged. I love it,” she giggled, still unconvinced about the metaphor.

“Oh man, I grew up on that. I still have a stack of ‘em at home, I’ll borrow you some!” he enthusiastically grabbed her hand. “Then you’ll see why you’re Pooky.”

“I’d love that. And I truly admire that you make everything sound like a compliment,” Kiki grinned.

“It is,” Andy shot back, raising his eyebrows with a smirk. She scoffed.

“Pretty sure that just means he doesn’t view me as a potential fuck.”

He squinted and tipped his head to the side like a puppy.

“Yeeeeah, I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

“Just between us,” she interrupted him, “I’d admit that it hurts my ego, but I’m too vain. Guess I’m not his type.”

“Does he have a type? I haven’t noticed, maybe I’ve been around him for too long,” he chuckled, taking another pointless bite of the lime as if he was trying to suck out the last drops of tequila.

“Well, from what I’ve seen, they’re usually tall, sporty and sweet,” she counted on her fingers and then shrugged. “Then again, who’s type isn’t tall, sporty and sweet?”

Andy's toothy grin widened.

“Seems like your type is lanky, malnourished and sardonic.”

No.

“Yeah, no. I don’t - nope. Let’s cut this conversation before it starts, please,” she wiggled her finger at him, eyebrows knitted. His smile got even brighter.

“Why not, Pooky?” he pressed, grabbing her hand again. “You’re the only person I know who clicked with him without wanting to knock his teeth out first. And he’s into it.”

It sounds so easy when you say it.

“Because I don’t want to. And neither does he. I’m certain that we both like it just the way it is, trust me.”

Shit, he doesn’t trust me.

“You think I don’t know that you’re fucking on the side?” he exclaimed so loud Kiki had to bang her forehead against the bar table to hide her face from the people turning their heads.

“Jesus Christ, Andy! You’re disgusting,” she hissed when looked up, scowling.

His smile was omnipresent, though.

If Stone was the Roman statue, Andy was the Harlequin.

“Well, are you?”

“NO!”

“Not yet, you mean,” he raised his eyebrows, trying to contain another brewing giggle.

“Not yet, not tomorrow, not ever. Okay? I’m done with this topic, you clown, let’s move on,” Kiki reached out and softly pushed him.

Andy didn’t seem too keen on moving on, though, as his shoulders shook with a cackle.

“Have you ever stopped to think why he stares at your lips when you’re babbling? ‘Cause I have, Pooky,” he raised his index finger and tapped on her forehead to make the wrinkles between her eyebrows disappear.

All the other guys were on their way back to them, their laughs nearing Kiki’s ears as Andy whispered with a sly grin.

“It’s because you’re not his type.”

● ● ● ● ● ●

“I think I need a shot of bleach,” Kiki’s raspy voice appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

She left the group to get a beer, but before she could push her way back through the crowd, everyone except Stone had already scattered around the bar again.

He was startled when she walked straight up to him and slammed her forehead against his chest.

Unprovoked touching? This is new. I could get used to this.

“What’s up?” Stone chuckled, hoping that the sound of his heartbeat would get drowned in the loud buzz around them.

Kiki just slammed her head into his ribcage again and took a moment to shiver off some sort of disgust.

She raised her hand without a word and stuck a jumbo shot of vodka in his face. Snickering, he reluctantly took it and she finally looked up.

Her fae-like features were twisted in a comical grimace, mixing both amusement and repulsion.

“I just walked past Mike from Alice. Nailing a chick, that blonde exchange student -“

“Shocking! Your first time seeing a cock?” he interrupted with a brash grin, but his expression froze when she finished her sentence.

“- against the kitchen door.”

“Wh-what?! The kitchen?” he stuttered out, slowly breaking into a scowl identical to hers. Kiki vehemently nodded.

“Fuck. That’s rancid,” Stone choked out and fiercely kicked back the vodka. His nose wrinkled in a signature scrunch.

“I was trying to run past it as fast as I could, but I was so perplexed by them that I stopped by and kinda gave him a -“

She took a step back from Stone and demonstrated her best judgemental glare, raising her eyebrows as far as they could go.

“And I shit you not, he stared me dead in the eye for like ten seconds and then just turned around -” she mimed holding someone’s ass in her arms and spun around, “- and continued like I wasn’t there.”

Stone’s cheeks puffed with a laugh and he nonchalantly shook his head, but his ears started to burn red because of her vivid description. And he couldn’t stop his intoxicated mind from wandering.

Get it together, asshole. Not her. She made that very clear.

“I mean, maybe he wanted to give her a proper Ramp experience...” he shrugged, trying to focus on anything else than the glistening sweat on her flushed cheeks.

Kiki scoffed and took a swig of her beer before folding her arms.

“Yeah, but the kitchen?! I mean, you wouldn’t do that. You’re an A-grade slut, but at least you’re a gentleman, too.”

Just let her have the last word. It’s so easy. For once in your life, just shut the fu-

“Depends on the company. You, I’d even take inside the kitchen if I had to.”

But instead of scolding himself, Stone’s mind filled up with confidence as the vodka spilt through his brain cells and his lips curled into a triumphant smirk.

Stop lying to yourself, Gossard. Don’t act like you don’t get off on this shit.

Kiki raised an eyebrow and seemed to genuinely ponder if he was being serious, but she quickly brushed off her momentary lapse of judgement with a sharp scoff.

“Fine, from now on I officially don’t believe anything that comes out of this filthy cakehole,” she shook her head and reached up to poke his mouth.

Surprised by her own audacity, she tapped her finger on the small dimple in the middle of his bottom lip. “Don’t slip on the cum-stained floor when you go wash it out with soap.”

She held it there, basking in the crackling sensation that pulsed from his soft skin through her calloused fingertip.

When Stone took a tiny step back, darting across her face with an unreadable expression, she froze. Her hand hung in the air as his eyebrows twitched into a minuscule frown.

After a moment far too long for her comfort, she jumped when he lunged forward and bit her finger, cursing under her breath.

He was cackling as he ruffled her hair, Kiki slapped his hand away and rubbed on the bite mark on her knuckle.

Even though Stone’s shoulders were shaking with giggles, there was a clear shift in his demeanour. He firmly folded his arms and took another step back, clearing his throat.

He knew she’d noticed.

Yeah, right, big guy. So much for ‘put my money where my mouth is’. Idiot.

“Fuck, great, now I have rabies,” Kiki muttered, studying her finger in the dim light as she gave him a side-eye, trying to hide a smirk.

Stone chuckled and scratched his forehead.

What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? A girl has touched you before. A lot of them did. She’s just another one. Just a girl. Just…

“What’s wrong? Am I foaming at the mouth already?” Kiki gasped, staring him down with a quizzical brow.

Why does she...strange. So, so strange.

All he managed to do was shake his head and try to put on an unbothered grin.

Snap out of it, you dumb fuck.

“Cat got your tongue?” she quipped, scoffing when he didn’t answer.

“Silent treatment, that’s new. And weird. I already miss your yapping,” Kiki shook her head and watched Stone’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He took a breath to speak, swiftly easing back into his smart-ass mode.

“Woah, woah, okay. Spoke too soon. Tell you what, I’ll go powder my nose and in the meantime, you can try to think of something funny to say,” she handed him her beer and patted his warm cheek. “You can do it, pretty boy, I believe in you.”

And with that, she disappeared, the crowd swallowing her small stature like an ocean wave. Stone luckily found an empty spot in the hoard of people next to the wall.

He leaned on it and banged his head against the uneven bricks.

You’re in deep shit, friend.

● ● ● ● ● ●

Five minutes passed. Then ten. After twenty, Stone’s impatient foot tapping caused a cramp to shoot through his calf, so he cursed and kicked the air a few times to shake it off.

Jesus, did she get flushed down the drain?

He wasn’t paying any attention to the shaggy-haired surfer dude in front of him. Stone somehow found himself in a conversation with him - he just appeared out of nowhere and started yapping on and on about how the bars are worse around Sunset Boulevard.

Ever the businessman, Stone took the opportunity to bet a shot that they would see at least a trio of cockroaches throughout the night.

Of course, he knew that even three was an outstandingly small number.

I’ll go check on her.

He excused himself and assured the guy that he would be back to collect his prize. He snaked through the entire bar, looking for her in every dark corner of the place.

He even tried knocking on the women’s room and calling after her, peeking in when a chirping group of girls allowed him to do so ‘if he really is Stoney’.

But she was nowhere to be found. The last place he didn’t check was a small patio behind the back door, usually a spot one went to when they wanted to fuck a stranger.

Nah, she just needed a breather alone. Or with the discount Steven Tyler that’s been eyeing her from the barstool all night.

Fuck, what do I care?

He liked to think that he had the talent to stomach anything with a straight face, but an unfamiliar burn settled in his lungs as he made his way through a narrow corridor leading to the door.

This is a bad idea. Turn around and leave. Go count cockroaches or something.

He passed a couple that was shamelessly slamming against the wall with dull thuds, but it didn’t phase him at all.

He was too busy fighting his hazy brain, trying to coax his limbs to beeline back inside.

But he couldn’t stop himself as he took the shabby door handle and pushed the metal door open with a loud creak.

Maybe he’d take the scene of her pinned against the dirty bricks by someone else than him over whatever he just walked into.

Kiki was lying on the filthy concrete, curled up in a fetal position and shaking. She was holding a fading cigarette between her cramped fingers, hot ash falling on her red knuckles with every sob she let out.

Stone didn’t think twice about dropping down to his knees and hovering above her, little rocks and rubble stabbed his skin through the holes in his jeans.

“Jesus fucking Christ. What - what’s wrong, Baby?” he stuttered as he pulled to sit her up and shuffle to the wall to rest her back against it. She immediately hugged her knees, avoiding his eyes like a plague.

She was hyperventilating, tears streamed out of her puffy eyes and fell on the snot-stained Nets t-shirt.

He crouched in front of her and tried to take the cigarette away so it wouldn’t burn her. But her hand twitched and the cramp intensified, so he put his hands on her knees instead, cautiously caressing her.

“It’s f-fine, let m-me be. I’ll c-come inside i-in a sec,” she hiccuped, shuffling away when he moved to sit down next to her.

He carefully hugged her around the shoulders and pressed her to his chest. She was still shaking with rapid breaths, but her body slowly collapsed closer to him.

Stone felt his limbs tingle with an alien sensation, almost as if he’d never touched a woman before. Like an eerie fever dream.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“No, I’m…I’m okay, t-this h-happens sometimes…s-sorry,” she mumbled again, resting her forehead on her knees. His heart dropped.

“Did someone hurt you?” he questioned, trying to lift her chin to see if her face was in one piece.

“No, no, it’s nothing, I just…just l-leave me here, okay? I’ll be right back,” she choked out and let him take a look. After sparing him a brief glance, Kiki shook his hand off and hid behind her hair again.

She didn’t have any bruises, only cracked lips from all the salty tears.

“What happened? Who hurt you? Tell me, please,” he pressed, reaching up to stroke her hair.

“No one, I’m n-not hurt…it’s fine. Just go,” she repeated like a broken record, but he noticed that she began to melt into his arms and finally dropped the cigarette butt on the ground.

“I’m not leaving you.”

That brought a new wave of shivers and he desperately clutched her closer to make her warm.

Neither of them was wearing a jacket or a sweater, so he didn’t have much to work with. It still seemed to help, though, as her breathing slowly calmed down.

“What’s up, Baby?” Stone whispered after a long moment of silence, disturbed only by her fading sobs.

“I-it’s just…it’s me, I’m sorry. I’m just a sissy.”

She took a long pause to breathe in and cleared her hoarse throat.

“I, uh…I just saw some girls shooting up in the bathroom, that’s all. They offered me some, too, just as a cherry on top.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Oh. Did…did you -” he carefully started, still whispering. The implication brought a bit of fuel into her exhausted body, so she immediately cut him off.

“Fuck no. Christ, of course not."

Kiki sounded almost offended, so he quickly regretted even thinking about that option.

“I’m sorry. Sorry, I just…it’s not uncommon here…” Stone muttered with a bitter undertone in his voice. She took a big breath again.

“I know, it’s f-fucking everywhere. I don’t know what I was thinking…as if you could run away from drugs,” she lamented under her breath like she was scolding herself. “I guess I p-probably chose the wrong career. It j-just hit me more than it should’ve. Like I said, sissy.”

He wasn’t sure of what to say, so he just stared at the dirty ground in front of them. He realized there were multiple fresh-looking cigarette butts, she must’ve smoked a lot more before he arrived.

Kiki sniffed and wiped her wet nose with the back of her hand.

“It’s, uh…my dad, he…”

She took a moment to inhale a shaky breath.

“He was a smack addict, OD’d this spring. I didn’t know him that well, but, uh…I’ve seen that shit when he crashed at our place, you know…mom and I had this tiny little flat.”

She suddenly sounded clear and lucid, almost detached.

“I ran off as often as I could, slept at whatever place I worked at or in the school gym…I was probably the only kid that enjoyed going to school, ‘cause it meant I wouldn’t have to be at home. They both had a lot of friends over,” she scoffed. “Well, friends - dodgy old men and strung-out buddies with a pocketful of crack.”

She started picking on her cuticles and tore a hangnail, so Stone mindlessly reached out to stop her and started playing with the battered old ring on her middle finger.

“And mom was…she was ill. Real ill. You know, here,” she tapped her temple. “Got some of it from her, I think. Family heirloom.”

A few moments of tense silence and she continued.

“I guess they did love each other, in some ugly twisted way. In the end, she couldn’t bear to live without him,” Kiki mumbled the last part like she was talking to herself.

“So, uh…I kinda found myself alone in a dirty hole in the middle of East End with about fifty quid to my name…mom left me that,” she scoffed again, this time even sharper. “No note or anything, just that one fucking piece of worthless green paper.”

She sighed and watched his bony fingers slowly wiggle the ring left and right, slightly concerned that he didn’t speak yet.

Or move, for that matter.

“Dad’s cousin, Toby, moved here a long time ago. The only family I knew, so when it all happened, he tracked me down and said he’d take care of me. Got me a one-way plane ticket. A guitar case and these stupid dungarees,” she swabbed her nose again and wiped it on her pants to make a point. “That’s all I had on me.”

“What about him?” Stone suddenly asked, his voice eerily monotone.

“He recently moved to Aberdeen, but he still helps me with rent, even when I don’t ask. I try not to, obviously…I gotta look for something cheaper, ‘cause he’s already done enough, you know?“ Kiki waved her hand to try and loosen her shaking fingers. “Too much.”

She took a deep breath and fiercely shook her head.

“Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean to just…shit, that was like an infodump from a bad movie,” she added and cleared her throat.

“Take it as a roundabout way of saying ‘run while you still can’,” she chuckled and tried to shuffle away, but Stone squeezed her closer.

A warm tear tickled her pale wrist, but it wasn’t one of her own. His breathing didn’t change, neither did his heartbeat or his stance.

Only the dull sound of teardrops falling on her skin as they dropped from the tip of his nose.

A Roman statue, weeping.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

His voice didn’t indicate any sort of emotion, but it soothed her in a way she’d never felt before. She raised her eyebrows.

“Like, ever?” she huffed, trying to loosen the mood, but he stayed still.

“If that’s what you want,” he said and patiently waited for her reaction. When she didn’t give him one, he cleared his throat and finally moved to rest his head on top of hers.

“Didn’t know you smoked.”

She scoffed.

“Only when I’m really riled up. News flash, it’s a nasty habit with zero benefits. Makes me even more poor, stinky and unhealthy.”

“A woman after my own heart," Stone nudged her shoulder, savouring the sound of her silent chuckle. "Just realized…I never asked you where you live.”

“At the corner of South Main and 17th Ave, next to Chinatown. A hovel, but there’s a bed and a bathroom and only I have the key. So I can’t complain,” she shrugged and continued. There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

“Still costs an arm and a leg, though, so it’s only temporary. Too small to get a roommate. I mean, I prefer solitude anyway, but you can’t always get what you want.”

“You could live with me, you know. I mean, if you want. At my place,” Stone said after a long minute of silence, still fiddling with her ring. "Be alone together."

A breath hitched in Kiki’s throat and she furiously shook her head.

“No. No, no, thanks…thanks so much, Stoney, but no. That’s - that’s too much to ask for,” she began stuttering again.

Stone moved to look at her, but she was firmly fixated on the trashcan on the other side of the patio.

“You didn’t even ask for that,” he shot back, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but you’re already more hospitable than I deserve,” she replied and shook her head again. “And I doubt your parents would be chuffed about a sudden stray raccoon occupying their house.”

He briskly sat up straight and pushed away from the wall to face her.

"No, I’m serious. There’s a little brick shed behind the house, that’s where I live. I re-made it into a proper living space, isolated the walls and put electricity there. A bathroom with a tiny shower, a kitchen corner and a small electric cooker. Got my own door, my own key, it’s detached from the house,” he spewed out, suddenly more animated than she’d ever seen him.

“I pay my parents some rent, but once we split it, we'll have more money for music. Or you can pay a smaller half and cook dinner from time to time to make up for the rest.”

Stone didn’t even let her take a breath.

“There’s an attic above the room, like a little loft. I already put a permanent ladder there, but it just collects dust ‘cause I don’t have enough stuff to fill it up,” he continued and finally let go of her fingers, waving his hands around as if he were using an invisible broom. “We can clean it up and put up a bed for you, or I can move up there and you can sleep downstairs, whatever you like better.”

Kiki stopped him, more firmly than before.

“Stoney, I can’t accept that.”

“Why not? Like I said, if you want, there’s an unused space and I was looking for someone to take in anyway, to split the rent. It’s a little neighbourhood in Capitol Hill, ten-minute bike ride from Pioneer. Volunteer Park right under your nose,” he continued, like a dedicated salesman.

“I know all the nooks and crannies, there’s tons of cool bars and cheap food spots. When the mountain’s out, you can see the Needle.”

He paused and when she didn’t immediately shoot him down, he started pushing again.

“If you insist on paying rent,” he shrugged and she finally looked up at him, slightly frowning. Red eyes and a patchy blush, smudged eyeliner and parched lips.

And yet, she was the most breathtaking human he’d ever seen.

“…and I wouldn’t dare to try and stop you, we’ll split, fair share. More dough for guitar strings and beer for both.”

“It’s just…I’m not…” she stuttered but Stone didn’t let her finish.

“If you’re concerned about the size, it’s about 175 square feet, I can shrink my stuff as much as you need -“

“No, it’s not that, that’s bigger than my flat. I just…”

“I rarely bring girls there. And if I happened to do that, by any chance, I’d tell you before -"

“You’re too good to me.”

Silence fell between them once again. This time, though, it was different. His big, strange gaze swallowed Kiki whole as if she was seeing him for the first time again.

Stone darted across her face and stopped at a fresh tear forming in the corner of her eye. He reached up and wiped it away with his thumb, touch as light as a feather.

“It’s about time someone is.”

“Stoney, I want to be alone,” she barely whispered, studying his firm expression.

“So do I.”

She finally ran out of pointless arguments and, after a moment, slowly nodded in agreement. He mirrored her nod, peridot twinkling under the milky moonlit sky.

How could I say no to them?

“I’ll pick you up at your place tomorrow morning, show you around and you can decide if you like the look of it, okay?”

“Why?” she let the all-encompassing question hang in the air.

He sighed and rested his head on top of hers again.

“You get me. That’s why.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

[shadowuponstorm]

Come Back Home

Is he? No, he couldn't be, right? God, please let him be safe and unharmed. Please don't allow his name to be on that list of the men who didn't make it back home to their families. Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x Grace "Gracie" Wife!Kazansky (OC, but you can replace it with your name or callsign/nickname!) Word Count: Over 2.0K

Also please don’t steal, copy, or translate my work under any circumstances, I prefer my original work to be on just my page.

"Grace," I hear come through the receiver, making my heart drop to my feet in an instant, it was Janis, who is married to my husband's RIO and best friend.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay, maybe she's calling with the news our boys were on their way back home unscathed and will be back in our arms soon," I thought to myself before I cleared my throat to respond, "Hey, Janis. What'd I owe for you to give me a call? Are they on their way home from the ship?"

"Yes...but," Janis started to say before I hear her try to take a deep breath, indicating she's been crying, "Something happened, they said there were some casualties, I don't know any more than that. Just that the ones who made it are coming home and nobody can get into contact to find out the names. I wanted to call you before I came to get you."

Hearing that there was a chance my husband's name was among the list of casualties made my lungs feel like something is wrapped around them and constricting them until there comes a point no air is possible. I tried to get a deep breath in but to no avail, each one comes out shaky and unsteady. This day could possibly become one of the worst days of my life.

"O-Okay, see you when you get here," I choked out before I hung up the phone and started pacing the living room, practically burning a hole in the floor. After what felt like an eternity in this zone where time doesn't pass, which was really 30 minutes, a knock came on the door and I opened it to see Janis, with puffy eyes and tear streaks along her cheeks. I followed behind her to get into the passenger seat and after the seatbelts were on, Janis sped off to get to the base as fast as possible, making me brace myself for the speed climbing up steadily on the speedometer.

"Please let him be okay, God, please bring him home safe," I prayed into my folded hands as I listen to Janis whisper a mantra to keep herself calm before I hear her voice her frustration, "Why couldn't they just tell us our husbands were okay? Why did they didn't give me any more information?!"

"It's all, unfortunately, part of the profession as a navy wife, they give little to no details about the mission, the same goes for the results," I mention as Janis grunts out in annoyance as I softly laugh and say, "I've been in your shoes before, remember?"

"Just answer me this, does it get easier?" Janis asked as I shook my head and respond, "It doesn't, but you get used to the waiting, disappointment, and frustration after a while has passed by."

"I can't believe Ron may be dead before we could celebrate our first wedding anniversary," Janis mutters under her breath before I sighed and leaned my head on my hand as I looked outside the car window.

"Hopefully we'll find out soon," I whispered as I feel a tear start falling down my cheek before I mumble, "He can't be gone, he just can't."

After Janis parked the car, the both of us got out of the car and rushed to the waiting area of the base, awaiting what we would come to find. I looked around to try to recognize another face in this room when I hear someone call my name and turned to see it was Merlin's girlfriend, Kimberly, who I also became close with throughout the years.

"Kim," I said as I walked over to her and embraced her before shuddering out a breath and asking, "Any news?"

"N-no, nothing. It's scaring me, how many of us there actually are, awaiting to know if we need to plan a funeral or not," Kimberly whispered as I nodded my head and looked around the room, so many tear-streaked faces and fear-stricken ones.

"I'll go grab us some coffees," Janis offered as she walks away to grab two cups while Kimberly and I took our seats, saving one for her when she gets back. While I anxiously tapped my foot, Kimberly then leans in and whispered, "How have you been doing?"

"I'm currently a nervous wreck, so not great," I murmured as she shook her head and said, "That's not what I meant, I mean with the pregnancy."

I found out shortly after Tom left for 4 month-long mission and have been waiting so long to be able to tell him, but now that reminder is going to start eating away at me. I-If he's really gone, that means I won't be able to. Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick. Which I actually did, causing me to jump out of my seat to the nearest trash can to empty out my stomach like how the morning sickness was treating me. Kimberly followed and started rubbing my back as I respond, "This-this is the perfect representation. Kimberly, if-"

"Don't overthink like that, it isn't any good doing so," Kimberly comforted me as I calmed down and took my seat again before I whispered, "I never told him, I was going to tell him when he came back home. If he's truly gone, it's going to break my heart more knowing he never got the chance to meet our child or know he was going to be a father."

"I under-," Kimberly said as Janis then appeared with the coffee and handed her one while she took a seat on the other side of me sipping hers before continuing, "I understand how you're feeling, but there's still that chance he's going to be back in your arms, safe and sound. There's still that possibility he's still here and will be able to be the best father he can be for your child as well as make more memories with you."

"Maybe more of those will be spent of him and Maverick butting heads with each other," Janis mumbled as Kimberly and I both looked at her to shout, "Janie!"

"What? You both know it's true," Janis rebuts as I rolled my eyes and respond, "Have to agree with that, Maverick certainly seems the type." making the three of us laugh a little before a woman of blonde hair, who I figured was the instructor, walked in to tell us all that the carrier would be arriving any minute now.

After almost an hour, I could hear the roars of the engines and looked outside from my seat to see the carriers landing on the tarmac to nudge Kimberly and Janis to wake up off my shoulders. I got up to walk over to look out the window to spot a few familiar faces and looked back to see all the ladies looking at me like they were scared to find out but wanted me to tell them who I see.

"I see Wolfman, Hollywood, Sundown, Chipper," I called out a few of the names before I turned my attention to Kimberly and told her Merlin looked okay, watching her let out a sigh of relief and whispered, "Thank you God for looking over Sam."

"Do you see Ron or Tom?" Janis asked as I looked out again and tried scanning through the crowd before I shook my head to respond, "Maybe they're on another carrier, or there's so much commotion to truly see them." before walking away from the window.

I spoke too soon when footsteps started walking toward the waiting area to the doors opening to Maverick, with a worried look on his face as he calls out, "Grace? Janis? Are you two in here?"

"Maverick," Janis respond as she and I walked over to him before he put his hands up, stopping us, "They're alive, they're just getting checked out in the med bay."

"What the hell happened out there?" I gritted out through clenched teeth before Maverick gave us the information the Navy couldn't give us, "There were 5 bogeys in the air, they shot down Wolfman & Hollywood, so Merlin and I got sent up there. I-I had a moment of disengagement before I got my head on right and it caused them to have a few hits. We were successful, but upon landing on the carrier, Slider had a crack in his helmet and so did Iceman while he also was holding his wrist."

"Oh god, when can we see them?" I asked as I try to comprehend the information before Maverick offered to take us to them, which we quickly told him. We arrived at the med bay and told the nurse at the front desk our names as well as asked for the room numbers.

"Okay, thank you," I thanked as I made my way through the hallways to the room and knocked on the door to hear Tom's voice come through, "Come in."

I opened the door to see him lying in the hospital bed with his eyes closed and out of the top of his flight suit, which was tied around his waist, and then I saw the extent of his injuries. He had a few bruises, a bandage on his head and his wrist was in a brace.

"Tom," I whispered out as I covered my mouth to prevent myself from making a sound out of shock, which prompted him to open his eyes to see me standing there.

"Gracie," Tom whispered as he got out of the bed and moved quickly towards me to pull me into him, causing me to take in the familiar smell of his cologne and start crying into his shirt.

"I-I-I thought I lost you," I choked out as I tried to remain calm for him, "They weren't telling us anything and I-I couldn't help but-"

"Shh, shh, it's okay," Tom softly whisper into my ear as he sways his body with mine side to side as a way to help calm me down, "I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere, love."

I gripped him tighter as I feel him chuckle and kiss my forehead as he runs his hand through my hair, pushing back a stray strand to then lean close to my lips to say, "I promise." and kiss me softly

"You better," I whispered back before moving his hand to rest on the small, but evident bump, causing him to look down in surprise.

"Are you-, are we-" He stuttered out as I nodded my head and answered, "Found out shortly after you left."

"Can't believe we're going to be parents," Tom responds as he smiles down at me before I returned one back.

"How are Ron's injuries? Do you know?" I asked before he sighed and said, "He should be fine. Just needs a lot of rest and stay on the ground until he's cleared to fly."

"What about you? Anything else wrong?" I voice my concern as Tom shook his head and responds, "I'm truly okay. Just a sprain in my wrist." before we hear someone shout in excitement, like Ron.

"Was that Slider just now?" Ice asked as I nodded my head, agreeing with his thinking to walk out the door to look to see Janis laughing as she's being twirled and then kissed, passionately.

I laugh at the sight, making my presence known to both of them as Slider then shouts, "I'm going to be a dad! To a little boy!"

I smiled and yelled, "Congratulations!" to then walk back into the room and see him laughing, "Hey, he's your best friend and RIO."

"I know, I know," Tom says as he rolls his eyes before looking toward me and asking, "Do you know the gender? I could call a doctor in here to find out."

"Maybe another time, it would be too much excitement for today to take. For right now, I just want to focus on the relief that my wonderful husband has come back home to me and our daughter."

"W-wait, daughter? We're having a girl?" Tom asked as I slapped my hand on my mouth to mentally curse at pregnancy brain for being a thing and before I could apologize, he pulls me in for another kiss and after a few minutes, he rested his forehead against mine to whisper, "I'm glad to be back home with my girls in my arms." Tom then went down to his knees to say, "And you little miss is to go nowhere near that Kerner boy, I hear he's trouble like his dad.", making himself and me laugh until our sides hurt. Oh, he's going to be the best girl dad.

[petrichorade]

Art and Life Updates, Future Planning

(will be a bit personal, pardon me!)

I've been resting from drawing (in terms of making 'full art piece') for the past few months if anyone notice? People who followed me on Twitter might also notice how a bit absent I was from drawing full art, or contributing to fandom freely like I used to ><

The truth is, aside from waiting for commission clients, I'm actually have been participating in this zine for months, as I did contribute a piece and another small illust for the cover collaboration!

Beside that, I'm also testing my luck applying jobs left and right IRL. I guess it's been the almost 2 years since I graduated from university, but I barely receive any 'proper' love calls from any companies I've tried to apply to as any position possible. And my mental health has been unstable thanks to this problem as well haha!

I cried a lot, but at the same time...I'm so fast at getting back on track, trying, failing again, and the cycle repeats. It's been like this since June 2022, where my latest contract ends and my full independent freelance gigs starts. For the latest application experiences, I also try to apply for art editor and concept artist position, which requires me for creating new stuffs for its technical test + reason of most of my content absence (sadly again, I didn't pass the evaluation XD)

I did doodle a simple things and sketch anything, both traditionally and digitally, also grow back my love for gaming uwu. I think some (read: those who follows on twitter) already noticed that I've been playing Suikoden series (1, 2, Tierkreis -> with emulator for android) and Cookie Run Kingdom ^q^ Also the classic farming game like Stardew Valley and Graveyard Keeper! It's so fun and refreshing, and makes me less stressful to think about drawing!

But as I receive the latest rejection letter, I've been meaning to share some of my plans that I've considered:

I might gonna share the rejected concept art here, since I love the design so much ^q^ but of course in more refined visdev format!

I also wants to focus on practice, and I may or may not share those things? I'm not sure about other creators but I have this annual 'improvement stuck' moment where I feel like I kept being in comfort zone and trying to find anything I'm lacking and explore it, to test if I'm capable to do that certain new things or not. Be it art technique, hobbies, etc.

I do have a plan to join the hitsuhina week, but I can't promise if I can contribute everyday + in form of full art piece like I used to. It'll be more doodly/sketchy, idk, but I guess what matters is the overall concept that were delivered!

Related with point number 2, as I want to focusing on practice, I also want to revisit older personal projects. I have some OCs that I created during middle school and can't stop thinking about them TwT so I wish to explore their lore back >< which means less fandom content? Who knows.

Re-promote my commission form! I won't change the price for full-color, but I'll add different style options like previous commission that comes with much more cheaper or at least affordable prices for anyone who still wish to get something from me ^^ I'm still going to accept any client, beside job seeking IRL. I mean, I still need some personal income despite still living with my family?

So these are pretty much what I've been planning. Everything may or may not goes according to plan, but it won't hurt to give it a try and let it flow. So I close this post with this mantra:

Best of luck to me!

- Rain // 20230514

[miraluking-respectfully]

8 & 9 for Lyde and Antonia and 2 for the OC of your choice <3

3/3 on questions I was really hoping I would get, and about the characters I was hoping for them, too! O frabjous day

[questions here - inbox still open!]

8. Is their voice different to the voice of the character in-game, and if so, how?

Mostly no and a little bit yes. In my brain, Ántonia and Lyde sound more or less like Kari Wahlgren and Jo Wyatt in timbre, mostly because I think Wyatt's fake "Republic" accent makes her sound similar to Wahlgren. 

The biggest difference is probably Ántonia's accent, specifically. Wahlgren is doing this roughly non-regional American accent in her performance, which is par for the course with Republic characters; but Nia spent her formative years speaking in this upper-class Kaas City accent that would make it very easy for Imperial ears to place her. She tried very hard to lose that accent when she escaped to the Republic, but she still slips into it when she gets excited - if you've ever heard an American who's moved to England and unconsciously adopted the regional accent a little bit so they can be more clearly understood, it's a bit like that, only posh.

Meanwhile Lyde is kind of an accent chameleon and can do a really convincing performance of regional and non-regional accents from a number of worlds. I think her "default" is something very close to the received pronunciation of Wyatt's performance. Her ability to do a really convincing mimic of central Balmorran dialect is also part of why she got picked for the Gray Star mission.

9. What do they regard as their culture, & do they distinguish between their culture and heritage?

WOOF THIS IS A BIG ONE & honestly I will have say more on this in a separate post when I am not on a bus/have consumed more TOR Lore. But I'll do my best here.

Obviously these terms have a lot of overlap, but I will be considering “culture” in this context to mean the beliefs/customs/traditions they were/are steeped in and actively practice, and “heritage” to mean their associations with their species identity, family identity, and direct lineage. And that distinction is actually kind of significant for both of these characters.

The twins' upbringing was largely directed by their religious and powerful Sith mom, their religious and powerful Sith grandfather, and their deeply patriotic Imperial-born dad, who was literally a member of the Emperor's Guard. Reverence for power over weakness, and fealty to that power if you were considered weak, were big themes in their household. Sith art, philosophy, and even language was promoted over even Imperial culture. Lyde's lack of Force Sensitivity alienated her from this part of her family in a big way; trying to fill that hole is part of what drove her toward hardcore Imp patriotism, the military, and eventually Imperial Intelligence. Who knows - maybe in another life she might have followed in her dad's footsteps.

This all becomes very interesting when I specify that Lyde and Ántonia are not heirs to some grand Sithy dynasty. Their grandad was literally an ex-Jedi, who, blinded by arrogance, hungry for power, and disillusioned with his Order, became Sith and defected with his family. His adoption of Sith philosophy and culture is a conscious choice that he then inflicted on his descendants; in this way is the Aniteon heritage separate from their culture.

And as an adult, Nia once again bounced drastically in the other direction, embracing and adopting the culture of the Jedi as her own. It is both her chosen faith and philosophy, and also her attempt to correct a wrong. She views her grandfather's fall to the Dark Side and defection to the Empire as an aberration, some sort of horrible mistake in the fabric of destiny. Therefore, her existence as his descendant is her chance to "do it right" by combating agents of the Dark Side. In this way she has metabolized the Jedi mantra of bringing balance to the Force, but in this very flawed and individualistic manner that belies her Sith upbringing.

True enlightenment comes for her on Ossus, I think, where she finds joy and fulfillment in building community and preserving the Jedi way of life for the good those things foster on their own, and not as a strict counter to evil.

2. What companions from other class stories do they know or have connections to, pre-Zakuul/Alliance?

You only specified one random OC but you are getting Three <3

Savtas and Ántonia know literally all of each other's companions because they had semi-regular playdates all through their respective storylines. In particular, Nia got on really well with Nadia (who wouldn't?), and Savtas was very fond of T7, to the point where T7 being the third thing she saw after being popped out of carbonite was, like, a genuinely grounding experience.

Siolo and Andronikos knew of each other through Casey, but they didn't become more closely acquainted until he hired her to track down his wife (she ran off to have their child in a heavily-guarded fortress on a remote moon without telling him, you know, normal Sith stuff). And then they both realized his wife was Siolo's long-lost sister, Kaja. Small galaxy, amirite?

[thelighthousestale]

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

hope the car is fixed by now;) sorry I’m probably late to the party ;)

Thank you for sending another ask clarifying the characters!

You're never to late to the party! I always appreciate a bit of ask box enrichment :)

(If anyone wants to hop in I'm still accepting Character Ask Game prompts)

My car is still in the shop. They had to special order parts that won't arrive until Monday. The money I had been saving for a trip to Europe next year will now be used for the car and I think I'm being very brave about it since I only cried once so far.

Every day I plead for public transportation so I don't have the stress of a car anymore.

for 5) song James potter & Sirius Blaxk please

James Potter

Father and Son by Cat Stevens

This song isn't narratively true for James since he doesn't live to old age, but in the books, James is Harry's deceased father, whom he struggles to understand and get to know. He also receives emotional strength and support from James beyond the grave.

James died in the hopes of giving his son a life and better future. This song seems emotionaly true to that theme.

Song for Sirius

Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine

Florence features heavily on my Grimmuald Place Playlist but this song in particular gives me Sirius stuck in his house of childhood trauma vibes.

I don't want your money I don't want your crown See, I've come to burn Your kingdom down

For 6) Lily and a minor/oc character you absolutely love to write

Lily Potter

When I was a young girl my mom gave me great advice. She said whenever someone is unkind to you, tell them, "I don't deserve that," and then walk away before the other person has a chance to respond.

Clearly, Lily in the books understands the value of telling someone they are rude and then walking away and letting them deal with the aftermath.

The advice taught my younger sister not to slap me in the face and it taught James to deflate his head a bit.

Minor/oc Character

I have a non-linear one-shot series on my boy Frank Longbottom (more installments are coming soon!) So a minor character in series but a main character in my heart/fic

What do I have in common with Frank?

He loves his family, especially his mother. Frank would like the scout motto, "Leave a place better than you found it," which is my daily mantra.

[sageywritings]

Scarlet Hearts and Blue Blades

“This must be the place,” Riley thought to herself.

“Where are we?” Sapphire said.

Chapter 8 of my RWBY OC fic Flames of Change! A bit of a longer entry to make up for the slightly longer wait time than the past few chapters. Check the pinned post on this blog for the chapter list!

Auburn Vulpes, Jack Vulpes, and Sapphire Hyacinth belong to me.

Riley Currant and Jade Meadows belong to @gruntnuker-rwby

Shiina Mori and Rin Aozora belong to @solar-moon-byul

Shadow Stalvinge belongs to @shdwsprtn11

“This must be the place,” Riley thought to herself. Amidst the placards advertising what brands of alcohol were served, a small glowing neon sign of a stitched up heart was all the confirmation she needed. The Scarlet Heart. She wasn’t supposed to be here for at least another hour. But, she spent all of last night either tossing around in bed or trying to give and receive comfort from Jade and Amber. After enough restlessness, she gave up and decided to get a head start on the day. Perhaps just that much sooner in finding Sienna. With a deep breath, she stepped inside.

The bar was dimly lit, helped only by the noontime sun pouring in from the windows. Patrons were scattered about the bar and booths. Most were there to grab a quick bite to eat during their lunch break or to socialize with nothing better to do. Some casually watched sports highlights from the previous night as they ate. But, even though the operating hours said that they hadn’t been open long, there were at least a couple people subscribing to the mantra “It’s five o’clock somewhere.” Riley surveyed the poster and memento laden walls. A lot of them were centered around boxing: old newspaper clippings of historic title changes and posters hyping pay-per-view main events. There was a pair of ancient looking gloves encased in glass next to one of the TVs, and above the bar was a title belt that Riley couldn’t figure out if it was real or a very convincing replica. It quickly became no surprise why Auburn asked to meet here. Just when she thought she was too early and needed to grab a seat and wait for the fox faunus though, Riley recognized a tail swishing around.

Bent over a pool table, Auburn had cue in hand lining up a shot. Riley could only hear the distinct clack of pool balls before seeing the maroon #7 ball rocket past her tail and into the corner pocket. On the other side of the table, a man with long black hair and marked with a large pair of eagle wings watched on holding a cue of his own. Both of the arms coming out of his black tank top were coated with tattoos. A bandana sat around his neck under a face containing thick stubble. It was a face that looked clearly vexed, which did not disappear as he turned his focus to the approaching Riley.

“You want next game or somethin’?” he spoke with a country accent. Alerting Auburn to turn around, she met her friend with a smirk and a familial head tilt.

“Sup Riley. You’re here early,” she said before staring down the 8 ball. “I was just killing time till you got here.”

“Yeah, well… wasn’t exactly getting much sleep last night,” Riley said with a shrug, trying in vain to repress a downcast sigh. Auburn stopped and gave her an understanding nod but quickly spun back around to the pool table. Nothing she could say could make Riley magically feel better. But while the lack of bother was normal for Auburn, Riley couldn’t help but feel put off by it. Like she could show just a bit more concern about the situation. “You seem… really calm given the situation we’re in right now.”

“Helps when you’re making money,” she replied with a chuckle. She smacked the cue ball, whic in turn met the 8, before banking off both a striped ball and the wall before coming to a slow roll and finding its new home in the middle pocket. Auburn sheathed her tool like a sword and outstretched her arms at her opponent. “Oooooh bad luck, Shadow. Double or nothing wasn’t so kind to ya. Doesn’t mean triple or nothing won’t be better though. Whattya say?” The man she called Shadow groaned and stared at the ceiling. After a moment, he went to a leather jacket that was hung on a chair behind him and withdrew a stack of lien out of the pocket. He tossed it on the table for her to quickly take and count.

“How about we forget the lien and forget the pool? Instead we hit up the dartboard and if I win, I get a date with you,” Shadow said. Auburn folded her arms. The urge to roll her eyes was so strong that Riley wanted to do the same just thanks to proximity.

“This isn’t the guy you brought me here for is it?” Riley leaned over and asked. She couldn’t break eye contact with Shadow. She was too amazed with his gall.

“Oh hell no,” Auburn said back while stuffing her winnings in her chest.

“C’mon, can ya blame me? I know fire’s hot but you’re definitely Au-burnin’ hot one,” he said with an unabashed grin that was as suave as he thought that pickup line was. Riley was getting Beacon flashbacks in both the best and worst ways. That was somehow worse than the beyond cheesy lines Dash tried out beginning of his freshman year, including one to her that was best left in the past. But, she couldn’t stop conjuring memories of her girlfriend seeing Auburn take a page out of Sienna’s playbook and use her chest like a pocket dimension. Suddenly, a cold, unshakeable grip locked onto Shadow’s shoulder and the outstretched wings tucked timidly. He tried to twist his way free of the hold, but it was no use. The man that emerged from behind Shadow’s wings stood a good several inches shorter than him, but looked tougher than anyone in Vacuo. His hair was nearly a full buzz besides being a bit longer on top, and he had a fuller beard than the eagle faunus. His wedding ring dug into Shadow’s shoulder blade. Once Riley saw the fox ears on his head that looked strikingly similar to the woman next to her, she smiled as it all made sense.

“Son, if you’re gonna have the balls to hit on my daughter in my bar, you gotta have a better opener than that,” the man said with a gruff, raspy voice. Shadow finally wrestled free from the vice grip and faced the other man, attempting to hide the discomfort and keep a straight face.

“Damn, Jack,” Shadow said while shrugging his shoulders to stretch them, “You woulda done the same thing back in the day in my shoes and you know it. Assuming, y’know, she’s not your daughter. Still, cut me a break.”

“Oh I did. I coulda went for the wings.” Shadow’s wings instantly folded as small as he could get them. Even if he didn’t fully believe Jack would do it inside his bar, there was still a chance. A greater chance considering it was Auburn he was messing with. It was one he couldn’t afford to take. He retreated to a booth, cutting his losses where they were and leaving Jack with both Riley and his daughter.

“You know I coulda handled that, Dad. He didn’t have a hope in hell,” Auburn said, hands on her hips.

“You've been saying the same thing since you were a kid. Usually it was about a fight you started,” he said back with a hearty chuckle. Auburn rolled her eyes and stepped up to her dad so he could pull her into a hug. For a moment, her eyes closed and her ears lowered as that nostalgia of being safe in her father's arms like when she was younger washed over.

“And was I ever wrong? And why do you assume I was the one that started the fight??” Jack released the hug so he could give her a look that could only be read as “Really?”.

“Are you really gonna ask that question? I've seen you pick a fight cause one guy took the last flaming hot cheetos out the vending machine,” Riley finally spoke up. Before Jack had the chance to question anything, Auburn cut him off.

“Dad, I want to meet a really good friend of mine. This is Riley. We hung out a lot at Beacon.” As she motioned to the redhead that was trying to stuff all of her exhaustion and anxiety away, Riley gave him the best smile she could muster. Jack almost let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh she's from Beacon, thank goodness. Hate to see who you drag in here off the streets.” Jack laughed harder when Auburn held out her arms in bewilderment at what they meant. Riley couldn't help but snicker at her expense too, even though she couldn't pretend like she didn't have plenty of Vacuoan street punk in her. “Hey, anyone that has to try and keep my battering ram in check is welcome here. Jacinth Vulpes, but my friends call me Jack.”

“Riley Currant. It's nice to meet you, sir,” she replied. Jack nodded as he made his way behind the bar and began wiping down the vintage bottles of liquor that adorned the back shelves. Meanwhile, the two girls claimed a pair of stools. Riley's body seemed to flop into her chair more than she sat in it. Auburn frowned.

“How are the others?” she asked.

“They're… going through the motions right now. Can't say they're great emotionally but we're all hitting that point where we wanna do something about all this. Amber's going to work today and see if there's any trace of Sienna from security cams around where she found you. And Jade is crafting battle plans as we speak. She won't allow herself to cry though. I think she needs one.”

“And what about you?” she said next after a slow, receptive nod. There was a long, poignant pause. Auburn found it harder and harder with each passing second to maintain her gaze.

“Well I’m here early cause I’m on garbage sleep, so that should tell you a lot. But I’m still here. I’m ready to do whatever I gotta to bring her home.” Auburn finally let her eyes fall away and kept her lips pursed shut. She couldn’t show any sign of the bubbling anger inside every time she talked about Sienna like some innocent victim, and not someone who made her bed for everyone else to lie in. Mercifully, her dad made the inadvertent save from behind the bar before the silence could reach awkward lengths.

“So is it a daydrinking kind of visit or are you girls just here to cure boredom?”

“Actually we came to see you,” Auburn came back with.

“Isn’t that a nice surprise? My daughter finally coming to visit. Whatcha wanna t-”

“We came to ask you something. Do you know anything about what the White Fang’s doing lately?” Jack was brought to a screeching crash of a halt. His shock froze him to the point where he had to set down the bottle of vodka in his hand because he nearly dropped it. With arms crossed, he eyed Auburn with insatiable suspicion.

“Whyyyy?” He carried that same concerned parent demeanor Auburn had heard hundreds of times in her life. “How many times have I told you not to mess with the White Fang?? Don’t touch them with a 50 foot pole.”

“Hey, I’m not the one messing with them!” Auburn held up her hands to show her freedom from guilt. “We’re looking for someone. And since Uncle Bren used to be in the Fang, I figured maybe he’s told you something.” Jack still didn’t look convinced. No answer Auburn could’ve gave would’ve eased his worry. 

“How did you even know he’s ex-Fang?” he said.

“He let it slip one time when he was drunk.” Jack closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with an exasperated sigh.

“Dammit, Bren,” he cursed under his breath before quickly snapping back to full volume. “You’re talking to the last person that would know anything about what they’re doing. Bren and I agreed a long time ago to keep that shit in the past. And if any Fang come in here,  I just let ‘em drink in peace. They don’t need me being nosy about whatever the hell they’re up to. Like they'd tell me anyways, and besides I don’t wanna know. As long as they don’t cause trouble, it’s whatever.” Auburn and Riley’s hearts both visibly sank. She knew it was a longshot, but she was still hoping it would yield at least an inkling of a direction to go. But instead, all it was earning her was a lecture. “Is this about that redhead from Beacon that was on your team that I’ve been seeing in the headlines lately?”

“Partially,” she responded in a half ashamed mumble. There was no use lying. There was only bracing for the coming speech.

“I thought you didn’t like him. Complained to me about how he was an arrogant jackass that could never back up how much he ran his mouth?”

“Still not entirely wrong. But… he's not so bad when you get to know him. And what kind of huntress doesn't stand up for her team when they do for her?”

“I know you've always thought you could take on the whole world with one arm behind your back, but you can't take on the entire White Fang. No matter how big of a crew you can make. They're bigger, they're much more dangerous, and they will not hesitate to put you down for being in their way, even though you're a faunus.” His sympathetic smile was little consolation to her. “Please, Auburn. Sit this one out.”

“Sir, this is not her fault. This is mine, I'm dragging her into this,” Riley finally interjected. Auburn wanted to object since this was her idea technically, but Riley wouldn't allow it. Instead, she fished her phone out of her pocket and rapidly began scrolling through her gallery until she landed on a picture of her and Sienna taken in Beacon's locker room. “Have you seen her pass by your bar? She was in Vacuo recently.” Spinning the phone to face him, Jack studied the other fox faunus she pointed to for a moment.

“Can't say I have, sorry.” Riley didn't even have the willpower to accept the scroll back from him. Her head met the countertop in dejection. Auburn was handling it better than her, but she still possessed a downtrodden look in her face, mainly out of concern for her friend. She moved a hand to rub her back but backed off as Riley lifted her head.

“Well fuck, there goes my lead. Now what?” Auburn said.

“Maybe you should get back to your pool game. Hate to pull you away from your priorities,” Riley chimed back.

“What’s that mean?” Auburn was taken aback. “I’m just trying to keep us moving forward here!”

“You just don’t sound worried! We have friends out there fighting for their lives and you’re just in here shooting the shit like it’s a night out on the town!”

“And what’s worry gonna get me besides a headache from slamming my face into the bar? Just cause I’m handling it better than you doesn’t mean I’m not worried! I’m trying to get Bubblegum back!” Riley cocked her head indignantly, like she was waiting for an end to a sentence that was already over.

“Only Dash?” The two’s looks turned more into glares at each other. Raising an eyebrow, Auburn waited as if she was permitting Riley to keep going, while Riley sat waiting for Auburn to do the same. Neither of them budged.

“Enough.” In the end it was Jack who broke the tense silence. Auburn winced and closed one eye, knowing that tone all too well. Similarly, his most common patrons recognized it as well, but it didn’t fully connect with Riley. “I didn’t call this bar for 12 Rounds for a reason. You wanna fight, then you take this shit to a ring. Keep it out of my bar, got it?” He fully zoned in on Auburn, too knowledgeable with what she was prone to causing. She was leaning away to avoid the stern daggers he was giving.

“Sorry, Dad,” she said loud enough for it to come across as meaningful.

“You’re not gonna give this up, are you?” He already knew his daughter’s answer. The question was more for the red-haired woman to the other side of him. One look at Riley and he could clearly tell the distress and anguish prevalent in her eyes through the bags of lack of sleep. It looked like the only reason she didn’t cry out with “Please” was to maintain appearances. He shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this. “Well. I heard from someone that there’s a Fang run soup kitchen just a couple blocks from here.”

“A soup kitchen?” Auburn said. Both girls perked up, Riley with more renewed optimism and Auburn with more perplexity. “What the hell are they running a soup kitchen for?”

“They’ve had it since the regime change, back when they were peaceful. A lot of the programs they started to help faunus back then they’ve kept up with.” Jack shrugged after placing a freshly polished glass under the counter. “Not everything is just black or white.”

“Alright, there’s our lead C’mon let’s go!” Auburn pumped her fist and immediately bolted from her seat. She stretched her arms out like the muscles on her biceps were getting antsy, itching for some work. Riley, however, hadn’t moved. She appeared deep in thought.

“Wait.” Auburn stopped in her tracks. “We can’t just storm in there right now, we’re not prepared.”

“You’re the one that wanted me to show more urgency!”

“Which you’re only doing cause you know you got a chance to start a fight!” Auburn was not a fan of today. She felt like she spent way too much time getting grilled. “You and I can't just go in there alone with no plan. We'll be in enemy territory unarmed. You don't even have your whip anymore.”

“I'm never unarmed as long as I have these.” Auburn held her fists up in a half-committed boxer stance. Riley and Jack mirrored head shakes.

“We need to wait for the others. Jade and Amber wanna help just as much as I do,” Riley said.

“I'm not even gonna ask what happened to your chain,” Jack said, causing Auburn to again lift up her hands with palms out like she was pleading innocence to a cop. Her pleas of “not my fault” did little to Jack, even though it was the truth. “Go see Uncle Bren,” he said through muffled fingers as his head landed firmly into his hand. Auburn rushed to him into a bearhug that would snap most in half, but it didn't even get him to stumble. He returned the favor. “Love you too, kit. And make sure to visit me again soon. We got some catching up to do. Same spot as old, alright?” Nodding the whole time, Auburn promised she would do just that in between a couple “love yous”. After Riley gave one last “nice to meet you”, the duo left out the door and down the street. In the direction of the junkyard.

MISTRAL

Somewhere deep in the Mistrali woods, two pairs of footsteps crunching leaves and twigs underfoot were the only rustlings of life under the canopy of trees. They moved lightly, briskly, but frivolously hopping over tree roots and ducking under branches. The trail was just a few miles long, if you could even still call it that with how much nature had reclaimed. But it was still a few miles Shiina knew like the back of her hand. She was even using her spear as an explorer would use a machete to cut back the encroaching vines and shrubbery. Meanwhile, Sapphire was too stunned by the raw beauty of the surrounding scenery to help contribute. Despite staying here for a little while now, this place kept finding new ways to endlessly charm her. It was such a far cry from the life she led at Beacon. Soon enough, their walk led them to a clearing in the trees, causing Shiina to stop and take in the view like they had just arrived at a grand destination, the hidden city of gold.

“Where are we, Shiina?” Sapphire said.

“Where the sun and the moon’s song never dies for those who listen for it,” she said with an intimate warmth in her voice. It sounded like someone reminiscing about feelgood childhood memories, like a favorite homecooked meal. After a brief moment, she shook off the binding spell of nature with slight embarrassment. “This is where I train. Or where I go whenever the tribe gets to noisy and I need to get away.” Sapphire was confused how that little village could be too noisy in any way. It was nothing compared to the nightclubs or concerts that dotted the urban maze she called home. But, she let it slide. “It’s been awhile, and I want to train with you.”

“You and me both, girl. Now I get why we’re somewhere so secluded. But I wish you told me sooner. I woulda wore something a bit easier to get out of.” Shiina tilted her head until the realization hit and a burning red blush overwhelmed her cheeks. “Oh. Oh you meant actual training, alright.” Shiina tried to glower at her fellow huntress, but it melted quickly. She knew Sapphire was joking even before her sticking her tongue out gave it away.

“Sapph, I’m serious,” Shiina said while desperately hoping her blush would subside. It wasn’t going away nearly fast enough. If Sapphire really wanted to fluster her, she would’ve answered with “so was I”. But she resisted the urge, and again let the moment pass. “I know your bow transformers into a glaive, but you seem hesitant to use it. Why?”

“So this is why you told me to leave my arrows behind,” she said before a thoughtful pause. “I dunno though. I guess it’s because with my team, Dash and Auburn covered the close range, so they left me to handle the sniping. I just feel like I’m a better archer.”

“Which is fine until you’re without your team and a Beringel trucks you through a wall.” Sapphire bowed her head in acceptance. Her recovery was going well, but her back and shoulders were still sore from that. Shiina was more shaken up having to witness it. Someone would think she was the one getting run over by a rampaging beast. “There’s nothing wrong with being a better archer, the things you do with arrows are incredible. But the best huntresses in my opinion use every tool they have at their disposal. So I think you have to level up your spear work.” Recoiling a little, Shiina grew anxious that her words came across too harshly. But Sapphire was too focused on the authenticity of her admiration. She nodded and readied up, glaive in hand straight up and down with blade pointed to the sky. Shiina smiled. “Alright, let’s get started! So your glaive is a guandao. Not too far off from my naginata except mine is built with a thinner blade for more speed, whereas the guandao has a wider blade for more stopping power. So for the guandao, it came into use-”

“Speaking of training, how's yours coming with your semblance?” It took a moment for Shiina to recover from the whiplash of her flow of consciousness suddenly crashing. Sapphire was too restless for an entire history lesson.

“Oh uhhhhhh I haven't really made much progress lately. Supposedly I can conjure from tattoos on other people too, but I can't even master my own,” the inked fox faunus said. In the held out palm of her hand, a small garden snake inched along before fading away as she folded her arms across her chest. Her shoulder hunched forward slightly. Her gaze fell to the shine emanating from her blade. Sapphire didn't have an opportunity to inquire why before Shiina spoke once more. “I'll stop boring you with the history details. Let's just get into the combat, shall we?”

Sapphire couldn't argue, even though remorse of ruining the mood started to creep in. Shiina took center stage. Every strike she demonstrated had a light, airy flow to it, almost as natural as the landscape they sat in. It was as if the essence of the forest was channeling through her, culminating at the tip of her blade. Then it was Sapphire's turn. As Shiina pointed out, her weapon provided slower, heavier strikes. But, without a quiver full of arrows weighing her down, she could really let loose with some impressive footwork of her own. Some more acrobatic swings she made look effortless. As she moved, Shiina couldn't help but notice the muscles on Sapphire's back that were generating a lot of her power. She assumed the tone was from having to constantly pull back the bow string. She had to remind herself not to stare.

“Very nice, Sapph. You're looking good,” Shiina said. After though, her face contorted with regret. “I-I mean your moves were good! I mean your footwork and your strikes were-aaaahhhh.” The sentence stumbled along until the last few words barely petered out into a discomposed noise.

“I was hoping you were talking about me more than the fight moves, but thanks for the compliment, boo,” Sapphire giggled. She wasn’t thrown off by Shiina’s minor meltdown; she thought it was quite cute in fact. Shiina knew that too, and knew that was why she egged her on. The bushes to the west of them began to rustle. Neither of them paid any attention at first, writing it off as the wind. But, it grew louder without any accompanying breeze. Then, a low, rumbling growl reverbed through the forest. They both froze on edge. “Y’know Shiina, if you’re hungry you could’ve said something and we would’ve headed back early.” Her voice carried no confidence in the joke.

“That wasn’t me.” Shiina’s eyes locked to the bushes as they both gripped their weapons tighter. Their suspicions were confirmed when they could see several pairs of demonic red eyes peering through the darkness between the trees. Slowly, a pack of beowolves crept out of the gloom, prowling on all fours. Now revealed in the light, the growling grew louder until the pack leader stood up on its hind legs and snarled.

“Again? What is it with the grimm lately?” Sapphire said.

“I didn’t mean for today to be a trial by fire,” Shiina remarked as she spun her weapon into a ready position.

“Shouldn’t be a problem. Just watch.” With a subtle wink, Sapphire took off in a sprint toward the intruding grimm. Just before she reached them, however, she planted her glaive into the ground and, swinging around it like a pole, drove her boots right into the alpha’s head with a dropkick. A quick followup slash to stagger it freed her to begin tackling the rest of the pack. Shiina was almost temporarily stuck in place appreciating the unorthodox offense before snapping out of it and rushing in to lighten Sapphire’s load. Using the shaft of her naginata, she was able to block and parry a big swipe that was aimed at Sapphire from behind from one wolf, leaving it wide open for counterattack.

The two moved not only like they were connected with nature but also in rhythm with each other. When one needed to step away, the other would step in and take the heat. They would slide under each other and jump over each other. It was all immediate, seamless, and speechless. One by one the creatures all started to fizzle away into black smoke. One beowolf in particular they locked onto at the same time. They blitzed their target, criss-cross cutting it and leaving it nothing more than a hazy black afterthought. But just as that formation ended, the alpha was back on the hunt. It charged through Shiina, clubbing her in the face with a forearm that sent her flying several yards back. Then, in a full gallop it plowed into Sapphire, its massive claws pinning her to the ground by her shoulders. The attack knocked her spear out of her hands and out of reach.

“Sapphire!” Shiina yelled as she sat up. PTSD of their last grimm encounter wracked her mind. Last time she was left unconscious and helpless. But this time, Sapphire was awake, groaning and struggling in pain but still fighting. From Shiina’s point of view, it looked like she was trying to reach her boot, but the beowolf’s grip dug her harder into the ground as she did so. The claw raised up and began coming down right at Sapphire’s face. Right as it did though, Sapphire was able to grab a frost arrow she kept hidden in her boot. Letting out a primal yell, she stabbed the creature. With the tip broken, firmly lodged in its ankle, the grimm suddenly became entrapped in ice mid-swipe. Wasting as little time as possible, Shiina ran in and delivered the killing blow, shattering the newly made ice sculpture into pieces with one drive into its chest. Sapphire sat up and dusted herself off.

“I told you no arrows!” Shiina chastised after a second to catch her breath and her thoughts.

“You also said the best huntresses use all their tools at their disposal.” Again, Shiina couldn’t argue with her even if she wanted to. “Got ya there!” She smiled softly. She was just thankful this brush ended better than the last one. But as helped the archer up, Sapphire noticed Shiina still looking concerned. Her stare was fixed on the spot of the forest where the grimm originated from. “What’s wrong?”

“These grimm attacks are happening more frequently. And they’re coming from the opposite direction they usually do. The grimm usually come from the east, deeper in the woods. But lately they’ve been coming this way. In between our village and the bigger towns in the area.”

“Hmmmmm something must be attracting them. Something worth investigating?” Shiina responded with a determined nod. “Sweet! I’ve been wanting to hit up the town anyways, got some catching up to do with city life. Maybe we can try contacting our teammates again.” Those towns still couldn’t hold a candle to the major cities in the kingdoms, but it would still be enough for Sapphire to scratch her itch. “But that’ll have to be saved for another day. It’s getting late, we should head back.” She had no desire to trek back through that “trail” in the dark, even with a guide who knew it like the back of her hand like Shiina. So on that, Shiina led the way back home, right as the sun was beginning to dip toward the horizon.

VACUO

“Yo Uncle Bren, you home?” Auburn unceremoniously crashed the silence that the junkyard office was sitting in. But, none of the rusted wrecks around her answered back. All she could hear was the feet meeting metal steps, both hers and the ones of Rin behind her. They approached the door and Auburn knocked on it loudly several times only for nothing to happen again. Only then did she see the handwrittennote taped to the window next to the junkyard’s logo.

“Auburn. Sorry I missed you. Jack told me you were coming. Door’s open. You know where everything is,” she read from the letter. “Sweet!” She opened the door and stepped inside, with Rin following much slower as she took in the new scenery. Beyond the table and usual basic office furniture, there was scrap metal everywhere. Junk and broken bits and pieces all cluttered into various piles around the room. Some were rusted like their prime was an era ago, while others looked newly refurbished to the point of appearing fresh out the factory. Various machines that did said refurbishment dotted the outer walls of the room. It looked like a mess at first, but somehow also seemed like everything had a place, a method to the disorganized madness. Meanwhile, smaller tools like hammers and wrenches and a welder’s mask sat scattered on the table next to metal that was being fashioned into blades and gun barrels.

“Jeez, time to have a garage sale, don’t ya think? Clean out some of the old energy, y’know?” Rin said with a soft chuckle.

“My uncle recycles all this stuff and crafts weapons out of it. By the time he’s done, you would never guess the stuff he makes came from crap people threw out.” Auburn crouched down and started digging through some cabinets, tossing things like gun magazines and blade handles over her shoulder. “Ugh c’mon where is it?” she groaned to herself. As Rin casually strolled around the room, she came across a stack of several schematic papers on one of the counters. They looked like current works in progress. Rin was amazed someone could pull all this together from trash nobody else saw use in.

“Wow. So he made your whip?” Rin asked while beginning to scan through the stack of blueprints.

“Oh hell no. He made me build it myself. He just kinda lightly supervised while drinking to make sure I didn’t set anything on fire. But.” She kept searching as she talked, knocking over a whole nearly finished sword accidentally in the process. “He’s got a spare prototype that he kept around here somewhere in case something happened to mine. I doubt he got rid of it. Unless he found something else to use it for.” As she kept rummaging, Rin stopped to study one design that caught her attention.

“Would he be mad if I used some of his tools to make some adjustments to my gauntlets while I’m here?” she said.

“Knock yourself out.” Auburn again didn’t move her head away from her task. Once she saw the glint of a bladed chain under a stack of other collected items that didn’t have a set place, her crimson eyes flared with excitement. “Aha!” She yanked it free, toppling the stack over carelessly. But, out with the chain came a piece of paper tied to it. There was a design hastily sketched on it in permanent marker.

“Ohohoho Uncle you are a genius you know exactly how I think!” Rin’s ear flicked and she tilted her head, only momentarily pausing her search for a machine that could play with steel. “Let’s just say imma need a minute to work too.” The time over the next hour or two didn’t so much as tick by as it soar by. The clanging of tools meeting metal, the sparks flying, the tossing aside of pieces that wouldn’t fit for ones that may. Auburn and Rin putting whatever mechanical know-how they had to use coalesced until they hit the point where they could stop and applaud the fruits of their labor. Auburn’s phone blowing up with calls and messages was the sole thing signaling to them how much time had passed. Jade’s name underneath a caller ID photo of a rose wrapped in thorns faced her.

“Sup Jade,” Auburn answered the call. “Yeah, sorry we got caught up working on something … You’ll see … “Alright, yeah we’ll be right there. Fill us in when we get there … Alright, bye.” She quickly stashed her phone. “They’re ready. You ready?”

“Let’s do this!” Rin eagerly punched her fist into her other hand. The pair loaded up and hurriedly left the junkyard behind, Auburn barely remembering to lock everything up they were leaving so quick. Their next stop was this soup kitchen Auburn’s dad had mentioned, where Jade, Amber, and Riley were waiting, planning for whatever could possibly come next.

[topreviewin]

Bob Knight, the sixth-winningest coach in Division I men's college basketball historical previous whose Hall of Popularity profession became once highlighted by three nationwide titles at Indiana -- one an undefeated season not since matched -- and limitless on-court docket outbursts, died Wednesday, per his family.He became once 83."It's miles with heavy hearts that we fragment that Coach Bob Knight handed away at his dwelling in Bloomington surrounded by his family," the Knight Family said in a observation. "We're grateful for the total thoughts and prayers, and esteem the ongoing appreciate for our privateness as Coach requested a non-public family gathering, which is being honored. We are in a position to continue to beget time his existence and possess in thoughts him, nowadays and and not using a spoil in sight as a accepted Husband, Father, Coach, and Honest correct friend."Knight grew to turn out to be the youngest coach at a Division I college in 1965 when he broke in at Military at 24. But he made his mark in 29 years at Indiana, together with a success a college-story 661 games and reaching the NCAA event 24 situations in 29 seasons. Knight's first NCAA title came in 1976 when Indiana went undefeated, a feat no team has done since.In 1984, he coached the U.S. Olympic team to a gold medal in Los Angeles, the closing American amateur team to articulate Olympic gold. Knight received 20 or more games in 29 seasons, compiling a profession story of 902-371.Knight became once at closing forced out at Indiana in 2000 for violating a "zero tolerance" behavior policy by grabbing the arm of a freshman student who he said greeted him by his closing name. It became once the final transgression on a prolonged list, which incorporated his most rotten incident -- throwing a chair for the duration of a Purdue game -- and accusations of a nice assortment of physical confrontations.The most critical fervent Knight it appears to be like choking player Neil Reed in a conference in 1997.Knight then left to turn out to be the basketball coach at Texas Tech in 2001, six months after being fired by Indiana for what college officers there known as a "sample of unacceptable behavior."In Knight's six elephantine years at Tech, he led the Red Raiders to 5 20-receive seasons, a first on the college. Knight handed historical North Carolina coach Dean Smith because the then-winningest Division I men's coach Jan. 1, 2007, getting profession receive No. 880. To beget time the milestone Knight chose the song "My System" by Frank Sinatra, a mantra for the very best probably blueprint he navigated his non-public and respectable worlds.Support then, Knight defined why "My System" became once so becoming."I've simply tried to invent what I deem is most effective," Knight said. "Regrets? Obvious. Appropriate cherish the song. I in actuality beget regrets. I favor I would possibly maybe well well beget done issues better at situations. I favor I'd beget had a greater reply, a greater blueprint, at situations. But correct cherish he said, I did it my blueprint and when I survey help on it, I kind not deem my blueprint became once all that obnoxious."Knight resigned as Texas Tech's basketball coach within the guts of the 2008-09 season, his Forty second twelve months as a head coach, and walked away from college basketball. He later labored as a college basketball analyst for ESPN.What he did and the very best probably blueprint he did it made Knight memoir. Nonetheless, the influence and discipline he delivered to coaching made him special.Robert Bernard Law 1st viscount montgomery of alamein Knight became once born on Oct. 25, 1940 in Orrville, Ohio and became once a prep basketball, baseball and football star at Orrville High Faculty. Whereas a player at Ohio Reveal, his teams compiled an overall story of 78-6. The Buckeyes received the nationwide title in 1960 (Knight became once 0-for-1 with one non-public atrocious in a 75-55 receive over California within the title game and averaged 3.

7 aspects as a sub that season), and captured Mountainous Ten titles for the duration of all three of Knight's seasons.After his college profession ended, he went into coaching, and became once an Military assistant when he became once elevated to head coach, succeeding Tates Locke.Knight spent six years (1965-71) at Military, going 102-50, then moved to Indiana, where his Hoosiers went 662-239 from 1971-00. Carrying his trademark crimson sweater, he received nationwide titles there in 1976, '81 and '87.Knight became once elected and inducted into the Basketball Hall of Popularity in 1991. Previously, Knight had requested not to be renominated to the Hall of Popularity, calling the voters' rejection of him in 1987 a "slap within the face."He became once a flowery equipment and had a prolonged story of outbursts over time. He became once charged and later convicted for hitting a policeman in Puerto Rico, head-butted Indiana player Sherron Wilkerson whereas screaming at him on the bench, became once accused of wrapping his palms around a player's neck and allegedly kicked his hold son (Knight claimed he in actuality kicked the chair his son sat on).He also gave a mock whipping to Calbert Cheaney, a Shadowy Indiana player, for the duration of a 1992 educate for the NCAA West Regional, offending a number of Shadowy leaders. Knight denied any racial connotations and notes the bullwhip became once given to him by the gamers.But he by no potential broke NCAA guidelines. He constantly had a excessive graduation rate and gave his salary help just a few years after he arrived in Lubbock due to he didn't deem he'd earned it.Knight's firing by then-Indiana president Myles Tag remained an unpopular one within the declare of Indiana, where Knight mute had a multitude of supporters.Indiana officers made makes an attempt over time to mend fences with the person that introduced the Hoosiers a college-story 661 games, however Knight steadfastly refused all makes an attempt by the college, ex-gamers and followers to originate peace -- and refused to take part in any IU actions.He skipped team reunions and even declined to lend a hand his induction into the college's athletic Hall of Popularity in 2009, pronouncing he didn't want his presence to detract from other class members.That, nonetheless, all changed currently.The thaw started in earnest in 2019, when he made a shock appearance at an Indiana baseball game. In July, he sold a dwelling 3 miles from the basketball arena.After which in February 2020, he at closing returned to Meeting Hall for an Indiana-Purdue, game. He became once met with roars of approval from the sold-out crowd, together with dozens of historical gamers.Knight walked in along with his son Pat. He hugged Isiah Thomas. He became once assisted into the arena by Quinn Buckner. And Knight reveled within the 2nd, pumping his fist, pretending to direct Scott Might maybe well additionally in a conference drill and even main followers in a chorus of, "De-fense, de-fense."

[advocatechenoyceil]

Gurugram: Two years after residences exceeded over, Vardhman Mantra receives OC

Gurugram: Two years after residences exceeded over, Vardhman Mantra receives OC

The branch of city and United States planning (DTCP) on Monday issued the occupation certificates (OC) to Vardhman Mantra, a crew housing society in Sector 67, imparting primary alleviation to about a thousand families. Launched in 2010, the mission is unfolded over eleven acres and has 1,207 devices in 15 towers. The builder had promised shipping of the apartments in 2014 however presented it…

[achoonihaachu]

God Must Hate Me; The First Ending

a/n: hello! welcome to the beginning of the end!.... no literally because i've got 3-4 endings planned >< i hope this ending is a good start because honestly it's such a bittersweet feeling that i've started working on the ending to my very first series on the obey me fandom :<< stay tuned for the different endings ilya :DD

warning: cursing, fighting, implications of toxic relationships, mentions of insecurities and low self-esteem, implications of self-hatred, heavy spoilers for lesson 16 and season 1 in general, not proof read!

pairings: pairings: Simeon x mc, Solomon x mc, Diavolo x mc, Barbatos x mc, Demon Brothers x mc (individually), Luke x mc (PLATONIC!), MC x Fem!OC

reminder: do not be afraid to put yourself first! toxic relationships come in all shapes and sizes and at different points in your life so be careful out there! you deserve complete, genuine happiness so don't let anyone come between you and your happiness aight? >:((

------

You cover your mouth with your hand and bite the flesh of your palm as you sob. Your knees buckle weakly but you try to stay strong; you’re not going to fall in front of them. Not yet. Not before you’ve forgiven them, “You all lied to me! You- You all promised to love and take care of me. I- I- I” You hiccup back a broken sob as your shoulders shake violently with every heave.

“I have given up everything for all of you… Everything.”

Everyone else in the room watched helplessly; It wasn’t that they felt you were overreacting but they genuinely didn’t know how to begin when approaching you again after everything that had happened. Were Simeon and Solomon supposed to comfort you? Could the brothers even approach you? Maybe even Yuki?

No one dared take the first step.

Your eyes were wide when you looked back up again. You almost seemed to be… daring them to try and explain their side, “I’ve been threatened, hurt, killed for all of you and this is what I receive as thanks?” Your voice was weak, barely louder than a whisper but they heard it clear as day.

Ever the composed, responsible brother, Lucifer looks up; his gaze was previously trained to his shiny loafers. “(MC)- I- We know how you’re feeling. We know that you’re disappointed and- I would like to offer my most genuine apology.” He breathed out; he couldn’t meet your eyes. He tried but the complete and utter heartache that reflected in your tears were too much for him to handle.

He swallowed his pride.

“You don’t know how painful it was to have to relive every moment you hurt me. Merihem… He made me go through it all. All at once.” You cried. The brothers winced at the thought before they stole small glances at the seventh-born. Of course, he committed the biggest crime against you. Sure, the other boys threatened and hurt you to varying degrees but Belphegor… He actually succeeded.

He sucked in a shaky breath before falling to his knees in tears. Ever the caring twin, Beelzebub was by his side in a nanosecond, “I’m sorry, (MC). I regret what I did every single day. Weren’t we happy? Didn’t you forgive me? I- I thought that since we were okay before your first year was over I-”

“We were okay back then, Belphegor. Then everything changed, don’t you remember?”

“Yuki came here, she lived with us and… you all pushed me away. I-” You lean against the door. You sucked in a breath before you fell to your knees; the dam had finally broken. The tears were free flowing, running, streaming, wildly down your cheeks as you sobbed. The brothers scramble over to you, all hesitatingly so. You didn’t fight them off as your mind was clouded with visions of the memories you were forced to live through.

You were pulled into their embrace, a tight huddle of seven pairs of arms just holding onto you and onto one another. They sounded far-off, you didn’t realize that you were sobbing into the arms of Mammon.

Apologies were hushed, they were whispered into your ears like a chanted mantra or a prayer and all you could think of was how deep the betrayal ran. How far they went for their own desires and how stupid you were for loving them.

Well, if you could kick yourself, you would because… You still love them.

From the couch, Solomon was silently weeping as he rubbed circles on Yuki’s back. The girl was an absolute wreck; she knew you were being mistreated but she hadn’t done enough. She sees how your body was wracking in sobs as Mammon held you up and the other brothers were all surrounding you and all she wanted to do was push them all away.

None of them deserved to be close to you after everything they did but did she deserve to even decide that? After she had lied to you? After they all lied to you, after they had all hurt you, were any of them deserving of your time and forgiveness?

Simeon was recluse; He had pulled away from the group to inspect the broken window. The way the parapet was in shambles, the mosaic was unrecognizable splayed on the floor in a sea of shards, and all he could really focus on was how your voice sounded so pained.

It reflected in the mess of the window; You were this beautiful mosaic that they were blessed with, you were a masterpiece to be treasured and they’ve all but broken you beyond repair.

Simeon whips around and marches over to you with a shaky breath, “(MC), you do not have to forgive any of us. It must seem funny to hear those words coming from an angel but after everything you have been through with the brothers, with us, you’re not in the wrong to say that you want to forget everything again.” He says softly. The brothers stare at him in disbelief; a few faces contorted in suppressed anger but they knew that Simeon had a point.

You deserved better than the treatment they’ve put you through for almost a year.

Diavolo clears his throat from where he had stood in line earlier, “If you so choose, we can arrange for your return to the human world. We’ll erase all your memories of your time here in the Devildom and you’ll be returned to your home in the human realm. You’ll be given memories to substitute the two year gap in your memories and we will stay away…”

“That is, if that’s what you want, (MC).”

You look up from Mammon’s arms and stare at Diavolo; you look like you were deep in thought… Why? Mammon had dropped the aloof facade the moment you held onto him as you cried. He had done what he could to keep you steady whilst his brothers tried calming you but seeing you looked serious, almost as though you were considering Diavolo’s offer…. It terrified him.

“N-no… Please don’t go, (MC). I- We’ll treat you better. I promise. I’ll give you anything, you can even take Goldie just please please stay with me- with all of us.” He whispered brokenly to you.

Your gaze comes back to the second-born, “H-How can I guarantee that you won’t hurt me anymore. You’ve made so many promises- You’ve hurt me before so who says you won’t again?” You whimper.

“Make a pact with me.”

Lucifer lets out a small gasp as Diavolo steps over to you with a sorry smile, “If the Avatars cause you any more harm, let me know. You have my word that I will deal with their nuisances, if you’d like I’ll even send them to the ninth circle. You’ll be safe, under my protection.” He says softly, a hand outreached to you.

You glance at Barbatos; surely his butler would object to something of this caliber- The Future King of Hell making a pact with a mere human to make them stay? All Barbatos does is nod and he sends you the most miniscule of smiles.

“Do you understand that what you’re asking of me is extremely selfish of all of you again? You expect me to trust you again, to forgive you after all you’ve made me go through just like that all for a pact with you, Diavolo?” You seemed to not believe it; the audacity they had, really. Diavolo knew how it looked but a part of him gave into the desperation seeping into his heart. He has seen the way the Avatars had thrived, witnessed it firsthand, he sees how even he has changed since your arrival and though unfair, he wasn’t just about to let you go.

“I know it’s selfish but I know that there has to be a part of you, even if it’s smaller than the size of a single Grimm, that still cares about us- about the brothers. I am willing to use myself as a bargaining chip. I will guarantee your safety and a formal pact with me… In exchange, all I beg of you is another chance for all of us to right every wrong.” He says.

You glance at the brothers and bite your lip in thought; Isn’t it unfair that Diavolo had to make this deal with you? Shouldn’t the brothers be the ones begging- groveling at your feet- for your forgiveness?

“I will consider your offer Diavolo. I just… I don’t feel like any of you truly do care. Belphie- Belphegor cried for me, Mammon held me, Lucifer apologized but… I’m sorry that isn’t enough to compensate for the heartache.” You whisper. The brothers glance at one another; Where do they even begin?

Do they kneel and beg? Do you want to punish them? How do they begin to atone for their sins?

“I’m just so tired of hoping that you all value me. I want to feel it. I want to feel that you love me even a quarter the amount that I love you…” You start; Glancing around the room, with clear sight now, you realize that this whole thing has taken a toll on everyone. It was as though the situation with Merihem was what had pushed everyone over the ledge. “Make me believe that you all care about me more because I’m not just some glorified babysitter and therapist for your family. I’m a part of this family too.”

“So treat me like family.”

Asmodeus steps towards you slowly just as you turn in his direction. For a moment, you visibly flinch. He was one you had the most trouble with during the phase when everyone was obsessed with Yuki because he turned into this venomous snake who turned on you. You loved him dearly but he hurt you to the core.

Seeing your reaction with Asmodeus… God, the Fall hurt less. You looked terrified and in that moment, the fifth-born has never felt smaller in his life under the gazes of those in the room with him. The way his brothers looked at him disapprovingly, as though he had messed everything up, had his lip wobbling, “I- (MC), I never meant for it to get this far…”

“Asmo, you told me that I would never be good enough… I spent so many sleepless nights staring at my reflection in the mirror because you told me that I would never measure up to Yuki. You tore me down. I- I can’t just trust you so easily after all that.” You mutter as you turn away from him.

“I understand, (MC), but please don't leave. I can work on it! I can make it up to you because I love you, dear!-”

“No pet names, Asmodeus… Thank you.”

Hearing you say that had the Avatar of Lust break down in tears but he held it together enough to nod, “Yes, I understand. Please just… Stay here in the Devildom with us and let us make it up to you. Please. You’re the best thing to have happened to us in millenia.”

You stay facing toward Diavolo, Lucifer and Mammon but your eyes are trained on the floor. You nod. “I… I don’t forgive any of you yet. Not by a long shot. I was made to feel replaceable. Worthless. I was unloved and unwanted in this house. I… I don’t want to stay in Purgatory Hall either.” At that, Simeon and Solomon perk up.

“W-What?! (MC), no!”

You motion for them to quiet down, “I don’t think I can trust you two either. You lied to me. You… You were okay with letting me believe that I made myself forget you.” You say sadly. The pair fell silent; They thought they were doing the right thing. They just felt so strongly that they needed to protect you but… They weren’t able to keep your heart safe.

“Quite frankly none of you deserve a second chance but why do I want to forgive you so badly? I can’t hate any of you.” Your voice was soft and laced with a type of vulnerability that you had never shown them. You were right though; none of them deserved a moment of your time or your forgiveness. You’ve given them so many chances, the brothers specifically, and they’ve taken your heart and stomped on it repeatedly.

The other exchange students as well as the Prince and his butler were a different story. You could and should forgive them but it would… It would hurt the brothers too much to see you slip through the gaps in their fingers like falling sand again. They weren’t letting you go without putting up a fight.

“Maybe it’s because deep down, you still love us. Maybe a part of you believes that it’ll be worth it because I can swear to you in the name of our Father that you will not regret it if you gambled on us again. One last chance is all we ask for.” Mammon pipes up. Leave it to the brother with the gambling addiction to bring up a final chance, a final try, to mend everything they’d broken within you.

Your fingertips felt for the material of Mammon’s jacket. The cashmere felt smooth against your hold; it felt expensive but you expect nothing less. Your mind fills with memories of when you were able to snag the jacket from his greedy hands. You would run around the house with the damned thing donned on your shoulders. You miss being able to laugh so freely with them.

God, where did you all go wrong?

You balled your hands into fists as you sat up, pulling away from Mammon’s hold. You kept your head hung low as you swung. Your hands beat against Mammon’s chest erratically, without pattern, but your hits weren’t ever hard enough to genuinely hurt.

The second-born took it all.

“Why’d you have to hurt me? Why’d you have to stop picking me? Why? What’s so wrong with me? Why’d you get tired of me… so quickly?” You cried, your hits grew weak as you slumped against the light-haired demon defeatedly. The brothers exchanged glances; Lucifer stood above you all, he watched as his brothers knelt beside you to console you, he was truly lost in that moment.

His pride didn’t let him process the fact that he had failed you… again.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me. To pick me at the end of the day but you never did.” Your cries were like nails on a chalkboard for the brothers. They’d much rather claw their own ears off then to see or hear you this upset again but deep down they knew that they had done this to themselves.

They’ll just have to pick up the broken pieces of your heart.

“Nothing we say will ever be enough to let you know in words how sorry we feel. I- We are so sorry. We’re sorry… We’re so sorry..” Lucifer’s movements are slow as he lowers himself beside you. His hands are soft and gentle as he pulls you into his arms. He says his apologies like a hummed prayer into your ear.

Not once in your time of knowing him did he ever apologize so tenderly.

Your cries are reduced to small hiccups as you’re held by the eldest. His brothers gather around him, hesitating.

After what seemed like forever and a minute, you clear your throat and look for Diavolo in the room. “Dia… I- I’d like to take you up on your offer. I’d like to make a pact with you.”

The seven brothers didn’t even realize they were all holding in a breath until they all saw the way the others’ shoulders sagged in released stress. They didn’t realize that the mere thought of you leaving them was enough to strike fear and uncertainty into their hearts.

A sharp but small pain struck deep in their hearts; You didn’t trust them enough to just want to simply stay. You needed reassurance from someone more powerful to ensure the safety and protection of your heart. The feeling leaves as quickly as it came though. They were just happy to know that you were willing to hear them out and that you even just considered staying with them.

You sat in the middle of the room, across from Diavolo who was seated on the floor in a similar fashion as you. Everyone else sat on or by the couch. You were about to make a pact with the Prince of Hell.

“The pact mark will be located on your left bicep, a few inches from your shoulder, okay? Like your pacts with the Seven Demon Lords, it’ll be painless and you’ll be able to get rid of a pact if you so choose. Do you still want to make a pact with me?”

“Yes.” You state. For a moment you considered whether or not you’d be happy with your decision. You’d be making another decision that would bring joy to the very people that hurt you but… you took a single glance at Mammon’s face. His eyes were teary and he stared at you with such remorse but beyond that, he stared at you with so much love…

You were weak for them, you’d give them your heart if they so asked.

You loved them and you knew that they loved you too. You felt your heart break once more. You loved them so much but in the back of your mind you knew. You knew that letting them go would’ve been what was best for you. The days you’ve spent crying for them, dying for them, replayed in your mind. The countless nights you’ve spent questioning your sanity because you didn’t know where you went wrong. You didn’t know why they were so important to you.

You loved them so and you knew that you needed to let go but you were selfish. As you felt your arm warm from the permanent mark Diavolo was leaving on your skin, you watched the way the brothers looked on so observantly… As though they were afraid that you’d change your mind. You smiled bitterly to yourself.

You knew you’d feel your heart break further in the future because of the very people that stood before you but you never truly grasp the concept of self preservation. You loved them more than life itself.

Perhaps as long as you love selfishly, you’d make up for what they lack when it comes to you. Perhaps they’d finally stop taking you for granted when you truly leave one day but for now, loving them means loving selfishly.

Your heart be damned, all you needed was them.

"you forgive the brothers..."

"but at what cost...?

-----

taglist for those who asked to be tagged:

@edible-sushi , @knmsapplepi , @kxyren , @its-dari , @izukulus , @farysblog , @atinyidea-bon , @affecteddream , @yunbedo , @raven-darkessence , @crystal-freak24 , @gallantys , @xfatefulmistyx , @crystalmystery , @another-one-again , @moni-sama , @giulia2372 , @mattxxamryli , @seaseachan , @airserylunalol , @mammonsleftkidney , @sasarii , @voidanon69 , @a-dorkier-book-keeper , @ikkomori , @chiefarcadesuujt , @mammonssheep , @ymjay , @milumine-draws , @beanybunzz , @marvelous-maniac , @setsubon , @v0id1nq , @lonely–witch , @trappola-caramel , @star-child-love , @siniy606 , @ymjay, @0willowwisp0 , @yunbedo , @thirteenhub , @blessyblade8 , @niallerhere , @zero-nightshade , @my-comfort-space , @fangirlinindia , @bless-you-1220 , @xiaos-so , @genodesu , @moontofuu , @tjjjrsj , @cecxliia , @pricklycacti , @crierofirony , @duttydestroyer , @welcometodemonschoolfan , @ashebutimproved , @disgusting-simp

crossed out names are of those who asked to be tagged but for some reason, i just couldn’t tag you! :<< i’m not sure if it’s because some of you are private accounts, im not even sure how tumblr works sometimes but i’m sorry! i’ll keep trying to tag you in the future! <33

[clonehub]

Title: Sixth Visit Rating: T Characters: Medic Kix, OC Words: 796 Tags/Warnings: anxiety and PTSD mention, self harm implied, csa implied Summary: Kix learns that he knows nothing.

Kix examines his hands--broad palms, a blue vein slowly making its way down the back of one, and short, perfectly cut nails. Five dexterous fingers on each hand.

A medic who knows how to heal knows how to kill. The mantra from his training days on Kamino rushes forward now as it always does, making itself heard in his once-rare moments of utter helplessness.

The trooper before him hangs his head from the weight of his own exhaustion and shame. He shrinks like one wrong move from Kix would send him flying out of the medbay.

It wouldn't be the first time. Kix is careful with his next action: he pulls his glove off.

A medic who knows how to heal knows how to kill. Kix silences the voice.

"Lake, look at me," Kix orders gently, the barest tone of a medic's command creeping into the edges.

The shiny's fingers curl like they're making the decision for him. A tendon in his left forearm bunches with the action. Kix can't see the right one because it's covered in gauze.

Medic training on Kamino was intense, brutal. Kix was learning how to patch brothers up even before they'd received live fire training. A good medic was at the level of a Coruscanti trauma surgeon--but that did not mean they were trained in patience. Kix had to learn that himself.

He takes one of the kid's hands in his own. "Lake..."

"How do I make them stop?" Lake asks, his voice rough from hyperventilation and the last dregs of adrenaline. "How do I...I want them to stop."

The medic trainers on Kamino insisted that they would know more than the average Coruscanti doctor. In moments like these, Kix feels like he's learned nothing. No amount of simulations and cadavers and field surgeries would teach him how to get a shiny to open up about the source of their panic attacks.

Lake is far from the first or last trooper to come to Kix in tears, on the verge of heaving, and unable to breathe. He's not the first or last trooper to shake so badly he can hardly stand. He's not the first to beg for a cure while denying there's even a problem in the first place.

For all their supposed superiority over Coruscanti doctors, Kix sure did have a lot to learn from them about panic attacks, anxiety, and PTSD. And, once again, his training did not prepare him for what would become a common sight in the GAR: trauma older than the war and borne from things other than just constant violence and bloodshed. Kix has a sinking feeling that Lake's is one of those cases, but he can't be sure unless the shiny talks.

"Son...do you think you could help me help you figure this out?" Kix asks, shifting just a bare centimeter closer on his chair. With Lake perched on the exam bed, Kix is lower than him, but the medic still has to bend his head to catch the shiny's eye.

"I don't know..." Lake mumbles.

Kix can already see the walls going up. Biting down his frustration, he racks his brain for another approach. Evidence gathers in his mind's eye: five or so similar visits, all with no resolution; odd behaviors in the mess, distancing, silence, flinching at key words or actions that Kix still has to figure out; reports from his own squadmates on all the things he could be heard saying in his sleep. Worrying things. Disturbing things.

Kix presses his tongue against the roof of his mouth, willing down the anger at his own incompetence. "Lake," he tries again, taking his other hand in his. The shiny doesn't resist. "I know you can feel that something's wrong. You brothers are getting worried. I'm worried. There's something eating at you that you're trying to hold down--and I understand that impulse, I do. We're soldiers and we were bred not to respond to the pain, but this isn't healthy."

Kix had made the mistake of mentioning Kamino during Lake's last visit, and he could do nothing but watch helplessly as the trooper shut down, retreating somewhere deep inside himself. He left like nothing had happened.

Lake's lower lip sucks in. He stares at their hands like Kix's fingers might produce the words he needs. His mouth opens. Kix tenses.

"I can't."

Kix isn't prepared for this and so says nothing. Lake swallows.

"I'm..." He shakes his head, pulls his hands away. "I have to go. I'm late," he says, rising quickly.

"Lake--"

"I-I think one of those sleeping pills would work," he cuts in, avoiding Kix's gaze. "It kinda helped last time."

Kix sighs, nodding his assent. "Have the droid dispense it for you."

Lake flees. Kix feels like he failed.

[wearenot7withu]

Random things with boyfriend koo iv.

summary : you celebrate your internship with your boyfriend

pairing : jungkook x f!reader

word count : 1.0k

genre : fluff, smut

warnings : blowjob, cunnilingus

a/n : i know i said i’m writing that dad!jk au and i’m working on it but somehow i’m slowly moving forward with that. but i got my first internship today and i have no one to celebrate with so let our rdwbk!oc have her happy moment. also this is like my second time writing smut so i’m sorry.

masterlist

previous

babydoll : I got the internship

babydoll : dinner @ 8, don’t be late

Today is the day. You had your interview for an internship at the company you’ve been eyeing for years. When you decided you want to work at a radio station, you swore on your life that you would get an internship at the top radio no matter what. And finally, you did it.

You were a mess ever since the company scheduled your interview. Unfortunately, your boyfriend was the one who stood at the receiving end of your anxious thoughts. The poor boy slept on the couch twice just last week, twice more than in the previous year. The reasons were pretty ridiculous: the first time you asked him to pick up chicken wings on his way home, and he didn’t bring the spicy ones; the second time you made pancakes for breakfast, and he ate all of them.

Considering you went all bridezilla on him, dinner with his favourite dishes was a well-deserved treat for him. Not mentioning the dessert after dessert, of course.

Jungkook arrived home precisely five minutes before eight, with a beautiful red rose bouquet in his hand. “Congratulations, baby. I knew you’d nail it.”

He kissed you on your lips once, twice, three times, then you decided it was time to pull away from him. “Go sit down, I’m putting this in water, and then I’m bringing the food.”

When Jungkook stepped into the room, the first thing that came to his mind was that you went all out. You set the table for two, petals were everywhere, and a single candle was lit on the middle of the table.

The dinner went by quickly in comfortable silence. Occasionally one of you throwing in a topic to talk about.

Your boyfriend helped you to wash the dishes, although he was more a distraction than a help. “Guk, what are you doing?”

“Nothing” Came a muffled answer from the crook of your neck. His hands were suddenly everywhere on your body. At first, he was holding your waist, then they made their way to your hips. After that, it’s a blackout because the next thing you know is that you’re leaning on the kitchen counter with one leg on your boyfriend’s shoulder. Said boyfriend is on his knees with his fingers inside you and his pink lips wrapped around your clit. His tongue is playing with the little bundle, resulting in a tightening feeling in your tummy. “J-Jungkook. Baby. I’m, I’m close.”

Jungkook knew it’s almost time. He knew your body that much. Your walls were fluttering around his fingers, sucking them in. Your legs were shaking more by the seconds, if it weren’t for his hand, they’d close around his head. And last but not least, you were grabbing on his hair so much, in other circumstances, he would yelp because of the pain. Although he has to say, that little pain brought much much pleasure to him.

The tight feeling snapped when Jungkook curled his fingers inside you. Your whole body was shaking, and his name was leaving your mouth like a mantra.

The boy cleaned you up, cleaned his fingers from your arousal and stood up. You had to blink a few times to gain some consciousness back, but you weren’t paying attention to that. You stepped one step forward, bringing Jungkook’s lips to yours. You could feel yourself on his lips. However, it wasn’t a disturbing detail for you.

You slowly brought one of your hands from the nape of his neck to his already hardened bulge. A raspy moan left his lips, which yours instantly swallowed. With shaky hands, you kneeled in front of him. At first, you left butterfly kisses on his clothes erection. Then slowly pulled down the zipper of his jeans.

Meanwhile, you were sucking on his abs, v-line and just barely above his pelvis. You pulled it down with his underwear. “Don’t tease. Just because I was nice before doesn’t mean I have to stay nice.”

You looked up at him, and to disobey him, you took a long stripe upon his abdomen without doing anything to his hardened member.

Jungkook thought this couldn’t be true. The way you looked up at him, with such innocent eyes. It was almost pornographic.

Quickly you had enough. You spat on your hand and started stroking him. At first, with slow motions, with more pressure on his head. Then with a firmer grip, but you kept the slow pace.

You kitten licked the red tip of his dick, which was already oozing precum. Jungkook was already impatient. You saw his hand raising to grab your hair and take control. You were faster, and you took him deep in your mouth. His hand fall back, and he even stumbled a little. Angelic voices were leaving his pretty lips, and your name never was this beautiful coming from him.

With your head bobbing on his cock, one hand stroking the parts you couldn’t reach, your other hand inched to his balls and started to play with them.

Jungkook’s voice was higher with every stroke of yours, and this time his hand found its place in your hair. “I’m close, can I?”

And who were you to deny him. You let your hands fall beside you. He took charge, and you let your jaw relax. Jungkook’s pace was much faster than yours, and in a few minutes, he shot his load down your throat.

You swallowed every bit of cum, then showed him while still kneeling in front of him. “You’re in for a long night, babe.”

Said your boyfriend before putting you on the counter and giving both of you the best fuck of your lives.

[smoochkooks]

—lost stars, part 2 (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: smut, angst, bits of fluff, (troubled) idol au, childhood friends to lovers

⟶ word count: 20k

⟶ summary: in dead hours of the night he stumbles upon the bars, reaching, searching, trying to feel something, for once forget about consequences and taste the bittersweet freedom. between sips of addiction and faint touches of nameless lovers he finds you again: his own long-lost star on a blackboard sky.

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, soft dom!jk but also bit possessive!jk, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), praise kink, jk calling oc his pretty girl, unprotected sex (stay safe kiddos!), creampie, implicit car sex, mentions of infidelity, smoking, both oc and jk are emotional mess sometimes.

✔ read part one here!

a/n: i’m sorry i keep you waiting for so long but it’s finally here. as i promised, by the end of october. this story has a really special place in my heart, i’ve had it in my drafts for over a year now. i hope you’ll enjoy it!

Twenty-two. No, twenty-three. Or maybe it was actually twenty-two? Jungkook starts counting again.  

Various, different certificates are aligned on the wall in front of him, every single one dedicated to the same man, sitting across the table with crossed arms and stern expression. It’s rather obvious his ego reaches far beyond the printed sheets of paper with his name written in swirly fonts. They are here just to make an impression, to fool people into believing that the pastel blue shirt he’s wearing and expensive watch on his wrist are the outcome of his hard work.  

He opens his mouth to say something, but it doesn’t reach Jungkook’s ears. He starts counting again; this time the number of letters on the first certificate.

“What do you suggest we should do then?”

The man whose achievements in marketing and public relations Jungkook currently attentively analyzes, is Lee Ilsug, or at least that’s what those diplomas indicate. To be honest, Jungkook couldn’t care less about his name or the list of accomplishments that made him be employed here.

He’s new in the company, that’s certain. Jungkook didn’t have to deal with him before but Yoongi had the unpleasantness though, when he needed to deny the rumours going all around the Twitter about his slightly too close friendship with a female singer he had collaborated with.  

Quoting Yoongi, Ilsung was pain in the ass. 

“The photo is blurry. It’s debatable whether it’s Jungkook-ssi or not.” Another voice, this time female, cuts in. Jungkook remembers her face fleetingly from some PR meeting he had attended before. It looks like she’s now Ilsung’s assistant. “I checked SNS. Fans are on Jungkook’s side, they don’t believe what that girl had written, which is a good situation for us to interfere and release a statement.”

“What do you think, Jungkook?”

It’s Sejin. He was the one who contacted Jungkook about the ruckus in the company that has been going on since morning. The case is simple: on the day he did his walk of shame out of your apartment, he stopped to light up a cigarette that happened to be another one of his cardinal mistakes he’s made in span of 24 hours. What started with getting the temptation and alcohol got better of him and sleeping with you, ended with someone taking a picture of him while smoking.

It’s truly a miracle the photo’s quality is moderately vague. His mom always tells him he was born under the lucky star but for Jungkook it’s more like fate was playing hide and seek with him. This time, he managed to blend into the shadows in time.

Ilsung clicks his tongue. It’s not a secret he hates his job yet cherishes the money he earns. He pushes his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose and leans over the table. He’s close enough for Jungkook to notice the fresh cut from shaving on his cheek and a small, golden cross hanging on his neck. 

He raises his brow, eyes trained on Jungkook. Cold, emotionless. Clearly, his ambitions don’t end on dealing with some idol’s reckless shenanigans. “Well? What’s on your mind, Jungkook-ssi? We are ready to release the statement denying rumours about the incident in an hour.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek. “But that will be a lie then. I did smoke, it’s me on that picture.”

Next to him, he hears Sejin clearing his throat uncomfortably. “Jungkook, I know it’s unfair but we can’t let it affect yours or boys’ reputations right now. We are a month before the comeback.” he says and no matter how much he tries to make it sound neutral, pulling the ‘what about the rest of the members?’ card is usually the last straw to bend Jungkook.

Jungkook releases a long sigh at that. He feels unworthy. He let down his brothers again, made them worry about him countless times before and that’s what he offeres in return: disappointment. He cannot risk his bandmates’ good name because of his incautious behavior. They sacrificed too much to be where they are now to lose it over a silly scandal.  

“Do what’s best for the team.” he decides after a while.

Once he’s out of the office, his thoughts drift instinctively to you. Do you already know about the mess he created? Do you even search through social media, looking for the updates about him? No, you wouldn’t go there, he tells himself. He’s almost sure. He hopes those revelations won’t ever reach you.

Sejin breaks his chain of thoughts, stepping into the elevator after him. “What were you even doing in that part of the city so early?” he asks, staring at Jungkook’s reflection in the mirror.

“Does it really matter?”

Sejin’s features soften a little. He’s been with them practically since the beginning. Seen their best and worst, always by their side even when the whole world seemed to be against them. Piggybacking Jungkook out of the practice room because he complained about his feet being sore, joking behind the stage about trivial things when no cameras where around. They trusted him. And he’s never stopped believing in them.

“I told you that million times before. You are allowed to lead your life the way you want, Jungkook. I know how you feel, but as a public figure you have to be extremely careful, first and foremost. People don’t forget, nothing ever disappears from the Internet,” he says, or rather repeats the same mantra he’s been telling them since they broke into the mainstream and started being overly recognizable. “I am here to protect you but I won’t be able to do that if you don’t take care of yourself first.”

He places a strong hold on Jungkook’s shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. Jungkook releases a sigh and the door slides open behind them. “Thank you, hyung.”

“Always, Jungkook-ah. I’m feeling like a father of rebel teenager now.” Sejin laughs lightly to clear the heavy atmosphere, making Jungkook snort.  

“Hey, I’m twenty-two!”

Sejin ruffles Jungkook’s hair, ignoring younger’s grumbling protests. The walk into the spacious parking lot of the company and Jungkook suddenly stops in his tracks.  

“Does Bang already know about this?“ he asks matter-of-factly, although he’s sure what the answer will be. The confirmation he needs comes with a nod from Sejin. “Is he pissed?” he adds then.

Sejin raises his brows, looking down at him. “His golden boy let him down, what do you think? He might not be mad but he’s sure as hell disappointed.” He gestures to his car and Jungkook follows him without a word, imagining his boss’ sour expression next time he sees him. In Bang’s self-made ranking he’s sitting at last place right now probably.  

“Want to grab a proper breakfast with me? I’ve been called into the company while I was in bed. I didn’t even have time to finish my coffee.” Sejin offers, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts.

“Okay.” Jungkook says, hopping in Sejin’s car. “You’re buying?” he asks, mustering a snickering smile even though he’s definitely not in the mood for joking.

Sejin rolls his eyes, fastening his seatbelt. “Don’t you think you own it to me for saving your ass once again?”

“But I’m your rebel teenager kid, remember?” Jungkook pouts. When he sees Sejin hesitating, he opts for another strategy. The one that never fails. “Rock-paper-scissors?”

“Deal.” 

Tonight, Jungkook pulls up in front of the club you’re working in with his car. It’s Friday night and he recalls you saying you work here every two weeks. He counted the days three times. There’s no way he made a mistake. He’s sober. And he has no intentions of getting drunk.  

You’re surprised when you see him. You haven’t spoken a word for a whole week since he walked out of your apartment. He seems happier when he approaches you, flashing a bunny-toothed smile like nothing ever happened. Maybe he’s good at pretending. That’s exactly what you told him to do - act like the night he stripped you bare and fucked you silly was merely a mirage.

In a way, you’re relieved he makes everything seem ordinary, even though it’s anything but normal.

He waits for you to finish your shift. Tells you he drove here with his car and your eyes involuntarily widen. When you’re standing in front of his black Mercedes Benz, you can’t help but gawk.  

“I don’t even want to know how much money this cost.” You take in the all-polished, black glory of his car, muttering “Holy shit” under your breath.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, gesturing for you to get in. You do it without a word, making yourself comfortable on the leather seat. If he manages not to make things awkward, you can do it to, acting as though he isn’t a well-known persona in your country with an addiction for unhealthy lifestyle.

He starts the engine and drives in the direction of your neighborhood, humming to himself the tune playing in radio. It’s awfully domestic, the way he navigates through the streets like he knows them like the back of his hand although you’re aware he’s glancing at his phone once in a while to check the directions. You catch yourself watching him from the corner of your eye with curiosity, biting your lip to suppress the urge to ask him million questions at a minute. Instead, you let him do whatever he has in mind. You can’t ruin this, you remind yourself.

Later that night, you’re sitting in his car in the darkness, parked on the rundown parking lot where no one’s standing expect for you. The only source of light is coming from the single street lamp nearby, illuminating delicately Jungkook’s features in dim, yellowish lighting.  

He doesn’t say much. He fumbles with the hem of his jacket almost absentmindedly and you know him well enough to sense there’s something plugging his thoughts. You call his name and he turns his head to the side. It’s too dark for you to spot the tiredness on his beautiful face, too dark to read from his eyes and find all the needed answers in them.

“Is everything alright?” you ask and it sounds awfully loud in a small space of his car. Despite the silent promise you made to yourself about keeping things between you civil, you can’t help but interfere.

Jungkook then whirls on his seat so he can face you fully, flashing you a smile meant to throw all your former worries away. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to sit with you for a while like that, if you don’t mind.”  

If anything, it doesn’t cure your concerns but you shove it to the back of your head for now. Nodding at his words, you fall into the distressing silence. The street lamp nearby goes out and if it wasn’t for the digital dashboard in Jungkook’s car, you would have been surrounded by darkness completely.  

Jungkook chuckles under his breath and you follow suit. The sudden change in the atmosphere should be taken as a sign to abandon this damned parking lot and go somewhere else, but he looks like he has other plans in mind. Hearing the soft whisper of your name, you start feeling like it all was meant to happen. Him appearing in front of the club, the lights going out and enabling you to read the true emotions from your faces – it’s all like fate is again playing tricks with you.  

You don’t know who moves first, crossing the invisible oceans between you and reaching homeland, but the next thing you feel is his lips on yours.

He tastes like the non-alcoholic beverage he drunk earlier, mixed with faint bitterness of his beloved cigarettes and something akin to mint, yet you’re drowning in it, in him, in the warmth of his breath on your wet lips.

You feel the world spiraling in front of your eyes, despite your soberity. You’re moving automatically; leaning into his touch and accepting the kiss with raw passion, welcoming his tongue in your mouth willingly. It should be alarming how good it feels to have him like this, in your arms, teeth scrapping your neck until you’re writhing in your seat. Breathless, he takes the hint, maneuvering your body until you’re straddling his lap.  

It feels dangerously familiar. You know what’s going to happen next, when he unzips your jacket and places his hands underneath your sweater, relishing in the way you shiver at the coldness of his touch. When he sinks his teeth in your neck and withdraws seconds before leaving a blossoming mark. Yet you make no vow to stop him.  

From this exact moment, it’s just a blur of hushed whispers, broken moans and quick caresses that leave you yearning for more. Jungkook acts like he knows your body inside and out, thrusting his fingers knuckle-deep into your heat until you’re keening and begging him for more. And he gives it to you with earnest, coaxing you into an orgasm with one last, final flick of his thumb on your sensitive bud.

Jungkook groans when you palm his bulge through the material of his pants, but he’s too desperate to feel your wetness around him to let you tease him any longer. When you sink down onto him, all of your rational thoughts fly away with the breathy moan you let out in unison with his choked gasp.

It’s fast and ragged, chasing the high that it’s both forbidden yet so craved. And it hurts, when tears well in your eyes, when you’re at the brick of pleasure and you know there’s no way in the world you’re going to experience a desire so raw and overwhelming with anyone, ever again. It hurts when Jungkook picks up the pace and fucks into you with ferocity and anger, because the world is unfair and he’s a slave in the system in which freedom means fucking you dirty in his car when it’s dark out.

And he hates it, hates it so much when you unveil in front of him, whimpering his name hoarsely and tightening around his cock deliciously. He swallows every sound you make with his mouth, clenching his teeth because the pleasure is right there, but he needs an extra push to throw himself over the edge. It’s his name on your lips and the whimper of “Inside, please” that finally makes him snap.

Then, there’s only guilt and laboured breaths. In his self-made list of mistakes, you’re aiming for the top.

Grocery shopping has never been your favourite thing to do.

You would never quite enjoy doing it, not due to the constant anxiety of forgetting about buying something even if you make a list of products beforehand, not when you don’t have enough money to buy a little extra than needed (thanks to the dear capitalistic world we live in).  

Right now, you’re standing in the middle of an aisle with cereal, trying to look as much casual as possible so people passing by wouldn’t suspect you to be a wanna-be thief. The cause of your distress sits at the very top shelf and there’s no way in hell you’ll manage to snatch that Reese’s Puffs without knocking everything over.  

Defeated, you raise your hand to take your second option (good, old Corn Flakes), but a familiar voice coming from the right stops you in tracks.

“Need some help?”  

Twirling on your feet, you’re now standing face to face with Kihyun – Minho’s friend from work. Smiling sheepishly, you nod. “I do, actually. Can you pass me these ones, please?”  

You feel stupid asking that but fortunately, Kihyun doesn’t seem to mind your awkwardness. You talked to him briefly a few times before thanks to Minho, who took his friendship with him as far as to go on a double date together.  

“So, how are you?” Kihyun asks, placing the cereal box in your cart.

“I’m good, thanks. I assume you’ve been also doing well,” He raises his eyebrows at that and you clarify, “Minho told me you got promoted lately. Congrats, chief Yoo.”

“Ah, yeah, thank you,” There’s a tiny bit of pink covering the apples of his cheeks when he waves his hand dismissively at your comment. “But it’s not that big of a deal.”

“I’m sure working in a homicide department is a big deal,” you say. “And I heard it requires some extra shooting training as well.” you add, alluding to what Minho has told you the day you read the message on his phone from someone named Soyeon.

To your surprise, Kihyun furrows his brows in a manner that could only mean he’s confused. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”  

Hiding your astonishment with a light laugh, you explain, “Don’t you go to the shooting range with Minho after work? He told me so a while ago.”  

Something akin to realization crosses Kihyun’s face. He shakes his head. “Yeah, we went there together once or twice but recently he’s training there our new recruit, Soyeon.”  

His words punch you right in the guts. Minho lied to you. He wouldn’t come up with that shitty excuse if he didn’t have something dirtier to hide, right? Maybe you’re exaggerating, but he certainly hasn’t been truly honest with you for a while now. It must be a reason behind his strange behavior.

“Are you okay?”  

For a moment you’ve forgotten you’re in the middle of the grocery store with your boyfriend’s friend. Shaking yourself off your unpleasant thoughts, you send Kihyun an apologetic smile.  

“I’m sorry. I just remembered I need to go to the pharmacist’s and they’re closing soon so I gotta hurry now.” you lie. He doesn’t look like he entirely bought your story but nevertheless, he bids you goodbye.  

You leave the store with half-empty shopping bag, raging headache and a torn heart.

They say silence can speak more than any exchanged words.  

It hovers in the air, heavy and overwhelming, a tension primed to snap at any moment yet it has never happened before. There’s always quiet, no hushed sentences, half-lies or stuttered confessions leaving quivering lips.  

Sometimes you wonder when will you have enough. When will you be able to resist, to say you’re hurting so bad it aches right in your heart, like there are tons of bricks lying on your chest, suppressing your breathing. And maybe this is the night.  

A few unread messages on your phone, next one popping up and the screen lights up. 

[1:23pm] jungkook:

i need you  

It pains, a dull ache and suddenly there isn’t enough air in the room.   [1:24pm] jungkook:

please  

He never begs. It doesn’t suit him. There is too much pride and power inside him to crawl in front of you, to fall to his knees and plead. Yet, you falter, shaking fingertips typing a quick response. When brain screams fuck you, you don’t deserve me, a sight of him makes all the rational thoughts go to hell.  

He stands in your door, slender body leaning against the frame. You haven’t seen him for a while, a week or maybe two. His skin is pale, sheer and delicate you worry it might break if you trail your fingers over it. There are bangs under his bloodshot eyes and you know he had trouble sleeping again. It hurts seeing him like this, beautiful and broken but you’ve always loved picking up the damaged pieces.

He smiles, a lopsided smirk you know oh so well, a dark amusement because here you are, pliant under his gaze, vulnerable under his every command.  

“Hello, doll.”  

It’s the ‘doll’ that makes you grimace. Nickname he uses only when you’re stripped bare for his liking, bend to his will. It means he’s been drinking. Probably the expensive whiskey you hate the taste of so much when it lingers bitterly on your tongue after each swipe of his mouth against yours. “Will you let me in?” he then asks although he already knows the answer.

It’s cruel of him how he uses your weakness. You hate seeing him like this, hate when he’s thrown apart and you’re the only one who knows how to fix him. That’s why you move away from the door in a silent invitation, biting your lip when you see his slouching posture and unsteady walk.  

It hurts when you help him sit on your bed and he smiles at you lazily, in all his beautiful yet broken glory. You almost don’t recognize him. It’s not your Jungkook. Your Jungkook would never drown his misery in alcohol, he would never sit in your room barely conscious, smelling of cheap bars and cigarettes.  

But you accept your fate the way it is.  

“I need to sober you up a little. I’ll go get you a glass of water, okay?” He hums in response, although you’re worried it might have not reach his ears at all.  

Jungkook looks up when your back, accepting the water and drinking it with eagerness. “You’re too good to me, you know that right?” he slurs a little once he’s done. “I don’t deserve you.” he adds after a moment, cupping your cheek with his unoccupied palm.  

You squeeze your eyes shut because you fear you might break down in front of him if you look him in the eyes. He strokes your skin, murming “I’m so sorry” all over again.  

You stay like that for a few beats of silence, breathing in each other’s presences until you hear Jungkook’s phone buzzing in the pocket of his jacket. Taking it out, you see ‘Jimin-hyung’ written on the screen. “Your friends are worried about you.” you murmur, nudging his side.

“Tell them to go to hell.” You hear him muttering under his breath. Sighing, you decide to exit the room and answer the call.  

“Jungkook? Where the fuck are you?!” Jimin’s angered, thick with Busan dialect voice rings in your ears, making you flinch. “You should’ve at least answer my text once so I would know you’re okay!”  

Mustering the courage, you take a deep breath and say, “Hi, it’s Y/N speaking. Jungkook’s friend.”  

There’s a pause on the other side, until your hear Jimin clearing his throat. “Oh, hi. Is Jungkook maybe with you?” he asks and you smile to yourself involuntarily noticing how his voice has changed once he realised he’s not speaking to his friend.  

“He is. Drunk, but in one piece.” you reply, sparing a glance at aforementioned Jungkook who’s now slumped down on your bed, probably fast asleep.

Jimin sighs with relief. “That’s good then. You know, we got into a little fight today and he suddenly disappeared without a trace, and we are right before the comeback so–”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you interrupt his rushed rambling. “I’ll take care of him.”  

“Thank you, Y/N-ssi. It means a lot.”  

‘’I’ve been taking care of his ass practically since we were kids, so it’s not a big deal for me,” you chuckle lightly, even though you’re definetely not in the mood for jokes. “Well, maybe not in that way but still.”  

“I know. He told me about you.”  

Your eyes widen. “He did?” you ask, failing to hide the surprised tone of your voice.  

“Yeah, he did. When he first told us he met his childhood friend accidentally in the club he got drunk in, we didn’t believe him at first. But then he slowly started opening up more about you and even showed me some picture of you and him when you were kids.” Jimin says. “You know, Jungkook hasn’t been himself for quite a while. He kept pushing us away but ever since he met you, he’s started smiling again. Please, promise me you’ll never hurt him.”  

You release a shaky breath. “I promise.”  

It’s easy to promise such thing. Because you’re for sure going to end up being hurt first.

It’s your alarm that wakes you up the next morning.

The sight of Jungkook is long gone, the only proof he’s been here in your bed last night is an empty glass on your bedside table and a small note written on the napkin.  

Thank you for everything. I really don’t deserve you.  

Jungkook.

Sheets have gone already cold underneath your fingertips where he laid beside you just hours ago. You didn’t get much sleep the night, watching his beautiful, pale features illuminated by the moonlight slipping through your window. He looked so peaceful with his chapped lips slightly parted and in that moment, you couldn’t think of any reason to hate him and what he’s doing to you.

Later, when you’re finally out of uni, you come home and take a quick shower. It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays are reserved for your small dates with Minho. The guilt you’re feeling while getting dressed and fixing your makeup is eating you from the inside. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you almost don’t recognize the shallow of a girl you’re seeing.  

You are not a bad person, you keep reminding yourself, then why did you sleep with him that night? Let him crawl into your bed again and again after?

Minho waits for you outside in his car. He’s taking you to a new Thai restaurant and you manage to hide the frown on your face, because your dear boyfriend forgot you don’t like this type of food.  

“You look pretty tonight, babe,” he says once you’re inside, waiting for your orders. You smile at him briefly. “It’s really been a while since we went out together, hasn’t it?”  

At that, you nod curtly. It’s true, you haven’t seen each other last week at all. Minho ditched your usual Wednesday date in favor of staying at work for something important. It happened second or third time this month. You feel like you don’t have right to be mad at him. If anything, that’s what you deserve for lying to him behind his back.

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Your food arrives, you act like you don’t feel nauseous chewing on your pad thai and trying to break out the taste with red wine. Minho babbles about the new Netflix series he’s started watching and you’re pretending to be intrested. Wednesday date at its finest.

Then, when you’re about to pour yourself another glass of wine, Minho stops you with his hand on yours. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something,”  You fight an urge to roll your eyes. He wants to discuss serious matters? What a change. “We’ve been together for eight months. My parents keep asking about you.”  

“Oh,” you blurt out. To hide your anxiety, you force out a breathy laugh. “So, what about them?” you ask, however you already know what the answer is going to be.  

“I thought we could visit them soon in Daegu over some weekend when you don’t have work,” he proposes, squeezing your hand as if to calm your nerves. It’s not doing much to put you at ease. “My mom has already started making plans what food she should make. They’re really excited to meet you.”  

You feign a smile. It should be a natural progression for couples to take things at a time, step by step but you can’t help but feel uneasy. Minho wants his parents to meet you, the girl who lets a certain raven-haired boy play with her heart and mess with her head. In a sick game where both parties are out of reach, you’re terribly losing.

“I’d love to meet your parents.” you say finally, almost breathless.  

“You don’t look very excited.” Minho comments with a smirk and you know he’s joking but the lump in your throat only grows.  

You smile meekly. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. What if they won’t like me?”  

“I’m sure they’re gonna love you. You don’t have anything to worry about.” he dismisses your concerns, reaching for the wine bottle to pour himself a glass. “I’ve got one more thing to tell you. I know it’s a lot for one evening but I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it for weeks now so since we have this opportunity now, I’m gonna use it.”  

Color drains from your face. What else is there to converse about all of a sudden? Biting the inside of your cheek, you give him a sign to continue.

“I’ll go straight to the point. I want you to move in with me,” The bomb explodes and you nearly drop your wine glass to the floor. “I know it might be a lot for your but I really, really want to see you every day in my bed. My apartment is big enough for both of us but once I get the promotion my boss talked to me about last week, we can look for something fancier.”  

You stare at him blankly. First his parents, now this? Minho from the beginning of your relationship was the one who liked to take things slowly. He didn’t kiss you until your third date, he waited unnecessary amount of time to have sex even though you told him over and over again you were more than ready to do it with him.

The sudden rush feels weird. As if sensing your discomfort, Minho clears his throat and asks, “Don’t you want to move in with me?”  

You notice the subtle change in his voice, the way he’s not as enthusiastic as he was a minute ago but you shove it to the back of your head. “I’m surprised,” you respond neutraly. “And of course I don’t mind living with you. I just thought you wanted to take things slow.”  

Minho clicks his tongue. “This has nothing to do with that. I’m not asking you to marry me, Y/N,” he chuckles but you don’t mirror the sentiment. “I think it would be more comfortable for you to live with me than your current cubby-hole.”  

He’s already irritated by your reaction and you know it’s better not to poke the bear but those three glasses of wine down your throat give you enough courage to disagree. “Your place is further from my university and work. Not to mention I have a five minutes long walk to the underground now and it would take longer for me to get there in your area.” you point out.

“You can get a driving license then finally.”  

You frown. “What do you mean ‘finally’? You know damn well I can’t afford it now with the job I have and student loan. We talked about it before.”  

Minho is aware that with your current financial situation you’re barely making ends meet and you can’t let yourself have another, bigger expenses. But you’re fine on your own, you don’t mind living where you do because that’s the result of your independence. You showed your parents you are able to study and work without their extra help. You’re proud of yourself for that.

“Now you’re literally making excuses. Just say you don’t want to move in.”  

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you try to reason. “I’m not ready for such a big step yet. I need more time to think about it.”  

Minho snorts, rolling his eyes. “What else is there to think about? Either you say yes or no!” His raised tone catches attention from the family sitting nearby and they send curious glances in your direction.

“Stop being so loud, please. We are in a restaurant for God’s sake.” you whisper-shout.  

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” he snorts, obnoxious and annoyingly snarky.

You stay quiet for a moment, debating whether you should give up entirely and hang a white flag or wait for the atmosphere to clear on its own. But you’re so, so tired. Tired of being lied to. Tired of always having to choose your words carefully and bending to his will.  

“You know, I met Kihyun the other day at grocery store,” Minho doesn’t seem much interested in your inquiry, still deeply frustrated with your tantrum. He simply hums, unfazed. “I congratulated him on his promotion. He for sure needs to visist shooting range more now, doesn’t he?”  

Minho arches his brow. “Yeah, I told you he goes there with me and that new recruit.”  

It’s ironic, how easily he can lie to you straight in the eye. But you’re strong enough now to fight back.  “That’s interesting actually, because Kihyun said something totally different.” you say languidly, watching your boyfriend narrowing his eyes.

“And what is that?”  

“He said you’re going there only with your new recruit, Soyeon. The one sending you messages on your private phone.”  

Minho gapes at you for a few short seconds and then, bursts into laughter. “What are you trying to insinuate here, honey?” he asks.  

The petname sounds mocking this time. Ignoring his lighthearted approach to the situation, you dodge a bullet. “I’m not insinuating anything yet. I just pointed out that you lied to me.”  

“Lied? That’s bullishit. I would never lie to you.”  

“But you did, Minho. The day I asked you who Soyeon was after reading the message on your phone. You said you’re visiting shooting range with her and Kihyun after work sometimes. Turns out it’s just you and her after all. Isn’t that a lie?” you press.  

Minho doesn’t like being backed into the corner. When you confronted him first, he thought he had everything under control. Now, he’s losing it and he isn’t used to being that helpless.

“So what? Maybe I told you that so you wouldn’t freak out and think I’m cheating on you. Because that’s all it is about, right? You think I’m fucking someone behind your back.” he snaps, making you wince.  

“I didn’t say that.” you counter but there’s no use for that. You stepped into the lion’s den.  

He aprubtly stands up from his chair and the cutlery on your table clutters. “You know what? I’m done. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit anymore.” He withdraws his wallet from the pocket of his jacket and throws a few bills onto the table.  

A bitter chuckle escapes your lips. “Your’e leaving? Just like that?”  

“Yeah. Are you going with me or not?”  

You shrug your shoulders. “I guess someone has to finish this bottle. It would be a shame to waste such expensive wine.” you say, mustering a sarcastic smile.

Minho doesn’t utter anything more to you. He nods and exits the restaurant, leaving you sitting by the table alone. Despite the stares, hushed whispers and an urge to run away and hide from the audience, you stay a little longer and drink up that damned bottle of wine until there’s no droplets left inside.  

Once you’re outside, you inhale greedily the fresh air. Your head spins a little and you’re debating whether to take an Uber home or just walk thirty minutes on your own to sober up a little. You choose the latter.  

You don’t know what makes you dial his number. You’ve never done that before. He was the one calling you in the middle of the name and begging without words to tend his wounds. Tables have turned, and here you are.  

You call once, twice. After the fifth attempt you give up, showing your phone into the pocket of your coat. As the first tear rolls down your cheek, you realise he would never be there to pick up your pieces.

Three missed calls from: Jungkook

[11:11pm] jungkook:

I’m so sorry y/n. I couldn’t pick up the phone cause we had late practice  

Please call me back. I’m worried

Two missed calls from: Jungkook

[11:36pm] jungkook:  

At least text me if you’re okay

Please  

[11:39pm] me:

I’m fine

[11:39pm] jungkook:  

Thank God

You sure you don’t wanna talk?

[11:41pm] me:

Maybe next time

[11:41pm] jungkook:

Okay  

Night, miss grumpy  

You’re sitting in your favourite cafeteria, typing furiously on your laptop the last paragraph in your assignment. Your philosophy proffesor has been a bitch lately, telling you to write essays about the most uninteresting stuff she could possibly think of. And here you are, writing about Hegel’s triads, reminding yourself the semester soon will be over and so will be your mandatory philosophy classes.

Taking a moment to sip on a caramel macchiato you ordered, you notice a message popping up on your lockscreen.  

[10:45am] jungkook:  

Do you have time now?  

I need to tell you sth  

It’s been two days since your date with Minho. You’re still mentally flogging yourself for calling Jungkook that night repulsively because of your tipsiness. In that exact moment, he was the only person on your mind you could talk to. Once the fresh air cooled down your emotions, you realised how stupid your idea was. 

With slight resistance (and raced heartbeat), you type a response. 

[10:46am] me:  

I guess  

[10:46am] jungkook:  

Great. I’m gonna call you now

Eyes widening, you stare at your phone. What is so important that he cannot just text you instead? Not even a minute later, you hear buzzing. Exhaling shakily, you answer it.  

“Hi, Miss Grumpy,” Jungkook says and you could tell by the tone of his voice he’s in a good mood. He sounds like the old Jungkook you know well. It’s a pleasant surprise. “What’s up?”  

“You called me to ask how am I doing?”  

Jungkook chuckles and something inside you flutters hearing that. “And what if I did?”  

Rolling your eyes, you respond, “Let’s just say it’s unusual of you. Shouldn’t you be at some dance practice right now?” you ask.

“We just ended a company meeting. And this is exactly the reason why I’m calling you.”  

“Should I be scared?”  

”Not at all. I’m gonna move straight to the point,” he says and your pulse involuntarily quickens. “Are you free next weekend?”  

You bite your lip. There’s a part of you that wants so bad to counter with “What? Do you need a booty call?” but you don’t let your facade break that easily. Instead, you tell the truth. “Yeah, I am.”  

“Would you like to go with me to Busan then?”  

You nearly spill the coffee onto your laptop. “Oh.” You can’t quite hide the surprise in your voice. You would never expect him to propose you such thing, yet here you are.

It’s been a while since you were home. Not like you don’t want to see your parents, it’s actually the opposite. The reason you haven’t been in Busan for months is simple: you don’t have extra cash on the side to afford a two-way train ticket.  

Sensing your bewilderment, Jungkook takes your silence as a sign to explain further his sudden proposition. “Our company gave us few days off to relax before final comeback preparations so I decided I could go home,” It’s what he says and unsure of what to answer with, you only hum in response. “You told me some time ago you haven’t seen your parents since Christmas so I thought you might accompany me.”  

Something squeezes in your chest hearing that. You fail to hide the smile creeping on your features and despite the many obstacles that should be a warning sign for you to say no, you find yourself reminiscing in the idea of spending a weekend at home with Jungkook. Just like old times.  

“Okay. I agree.”  

Upon hearing your response, Jungkook breathes out a sigh of relief to the phone. “I thought you would ditch me.”  

“Excuse me? Who do you think I am? I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to eat my mum’s bulgogi.”  

You can’t ignore how you’re feeling, cheeks flushed and a silly smile stretching on your lips. But there’s still that bugging thought present at the back of your head, reminding you of your illicit affair and every mistake you’ve made so far. Maybe agreeing to a small trip down childhood memory lane is one of them.  

Right now, sitting in a cafeteria and talking on the phone with Jungkook about the details and your mum’s cooking skills, you pretend like you’ve turned back the time and everything else is a mere drawback to deal with later.

“I can’t believe I agreed to do that.”  

That, is a blatant lie. You know damn well why you’re standing on the pavement in front of the building you live in as Jungkook pulls up with his high-priced, straight-from-the-salon black Mercedes. Something ignites in your lower stomach at the mere memory of what you’ve done there inside last time.

When he exits the car, you disregard as best as you can the aloof feeling in your chest, seeing him adjusting his bucket hat further down. This is the life he’s living, you remind yourself. If he wants to minimize the risk of people with preying eyes recognizing him.

Dressed in all black, he comes up to you and lifts his head up. That’s when you see him fully for the first time since he stumbled through your drunk and barely conscious. He smiles widely approaching you, not an ounce of uncertainty in his movements when he wraps his arms around you in a bear hug.  

“What’s that for?” you mumble.

“Just missed you.”  

He smells like the flowery fabric softener you know he likes. It almost lulls you into paying no mind to the thumping of your heart against your ribcage and redness blossoming on your cheeks.  

It almost makes you forget he’s not yours, and you will never be his.  

You’re the first one to withdraw, stepping away. “You’re such a sap.” It’s the first thing that comes to your mind to say after such intimate moment  – twist it into something without depth and meaning you’re so afraid of facing.

He shrugs, still smiling. “I’m just happy we’re going to spend some time together with our families.”  

You know he is. Jungkook has always been a family person. Moving out at a ripe age of fourteen paradoxically strengthened the bond he has with his parents and brother.  

He picks up your bag from the ground and throws it into the trunk next to his. Getting into the car, you mutter, “You know, I tweet ‘eat the rich’ every two days but you are safe from my hatred for high class as long as you drive my ass with this expensive car to Busan.”

Jungkook chuckles, starting the engine. “Thanks for your kindness, love. Good to know I’m pardoned.”  

“Jokes aside, I mean it though. I might want Jeff Bezos to rot in hell but at the same time I think you deserve that money because I know you worked hard to achieve it.” you say, buckling your seatbelt.  

He spares you a quick glance and arches his eyebrow. “I didn’t know you are actually a fellow comrade Y/N, Miss Grumpy.”  

“Oh, boy. Follow me on my private account. You’ll see then how radical I can get.”  

You earn another laugh from him and you find yourself getting more and more comfortable in the situation, sitting in his car and venturing onto a weekend trip to your hometown. The perspective of spending a couple of hours with Jungkook in the same car doesn’t seem to bother you as much as it did the whole week before.

Tapping the unknown rhythm on your thighs, you reach to press what you think might be the radio button. Your aren’t good with modern technology, so you smile triumphantly to yourself, hearing the first tunes blasting from the speakers. 

The slow pop-ballad ends and radio host announces next song as ‘fan favorite’. You look out of the window for a short while just to be brought back to the reality by the sound playing in the background. You know this song more than well.

“No. We are not listening to this.” Jungkook reaches to change the radio station with a speed of light, but you swat his hand away.  

“Jesus christ, stop being so dramatic. I love Blood Sweat and Tears! It’s a masterpiece.” you protest.

“I thought you don’t listen to our songs.”

You gasp, placing a hand on your chest. “Excuse me? I’ve been to your concert twice, dumbass. And I’m saving up money for another.”  

That, is true. You like listening to BTS not because of Jungkook (though he might one of the reasons you fancy them) but it’s their music and message in general. Now, since they’re over their badboy phases and objectifying women in every ‘love song’, you’re fond of them even more.

You start humming Namjoon’s part when Jungkook cuts in. “Okay, then. Who’s your bias?” he asks.  

You don’t miss the way he seems to grip the steering wheel tighter. Of course he would be that petty to ask you this. To entertain yourself a little, you quip, “Take a wild guess.”  

“It has to be Jimin-hyung.” he says right away.

You shake your head. “Boo. Try again.”  

“Namjoon-hyung. You bit your lip when he started rapping his part.”  

“That’s bullshit. Namjoon’s hot but not my type. And you should keep your eyes on the road, buddy.” Placing your fingers on his chin, you turn his head away.

Jungkook sighs. “Who is it then?”  

“Taehyung.”  

Hearing your response, he snorts. “I should’ve known that.”

“And why is that?” you ask, trying to hide your amusement.

“Because he’s the most good looking from us all. He dresses stylishly,” You could tell by the tongue in his cheek you’re irking him right now. Adding to the irony, Taehyung’s part in the song comes blasting from the speakers. “He has a nice, deep voice.” Jungkook adds and before he can name another positive trait of his friend, you chime in.  

“Is somebody jealous?”  

Though you’re clearly making fun of him, he decides to chuckle like he doesn’t give a fuck anyway. “Jealous? Of Tae? Please. I have no reason to be.”  

Smirking to yourself, you find his demeanor too entertaining. “That’s good then. Because I think you’re handsome too. And I love your voice when you sing.” you say, turning your head to the side to observe his reaction.  

No matter how much he tries to hide it, clenching his jaw and giving you an eye roll, there’s no use for that. The blush covering his cheeks gives him anyway. His agony ends with one last beat of the song.  

Hiding a yawn behind your palm, you lean back onto your seat. Last night you didn’t get as much as you’d like to and your four hours long drive to Busan seems like a great opportunity for a compensatory nap.  

Drifting off to sleep, the last thing you remember is Jungkook’s hands on the steering wheel and his soft voice humming the song playing in the radio.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up. We’re almost there.”  

Slowly opening your eyes, you’re met with familiar-looking streets of your hometown, Busan. You jerk abruptly, straightening your posture. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” you ask, looking to your left at Jungkook.  

He shrugs in response. “You looked like you didn’t want to be waken. And trust me, I know what it feels like to be brought back to reality from a good nap too early.”  

You don’t dwell on that more. Instead, you look out of the window, greedily drinking in the city. You’re now driving through downtown, passing by shining skyscrapers. Both yours and Jungkook’s houses are situated in a more peaceful area of Busan, closer to the sea. That’s why you spent most of your childhood and teenage days there as long as the weather was merciful.  

Spring has always been your favourite time of the year but spring in Busan hits different. You don’t have an occasion to sit by the sea and watch the sky burning in orange and red in Seoul. Here, where you used to grow up, spring is the cherry tree blossoming, your mum planting vegetable seeds in her small garden behind your house, you and Jungkook smoking cigarettes underneath the pier while the sun hides  behind the horizon.

“Did you tell your parents you’re coming?” Jungkook’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.  

“No, I didn’t. I want it to be a surprise for them.”  

“Oh, that’s cute.” he comments curtly and turns right. You’re approximately thirty minutes until you reach your destination. “I need to talk with you about one more thing before we get there.”  

You focus your sight on him, however he seems to avoid your eyes. You give him a sign to continue. “Go on.”

Jungkook rubs his forehead with his hand and then sighs. It’s a nervous habit of his, you recognize. “I just want to apologize for causing you so much trouble. Not only last time but in general,” He stops at the red light and cocks his head to the side to look at you. “I acted like a complete dick and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I’m sorry for everything. I thought this small trip here would be some sort of redemption for me, I don’t know.” The lights turns to orange, then to green and he focuses his eyes on the road again.

Reaching over the gearshift, you place a hand on his thigh to get his attention. When he peeks at you with the same, round, sparkly eyes you’ve grown to adore, all you can do is smile softly. “I’m okay, Kook. If that’s what you need, I don’t mind helping you. If only it means you’ll be okay too.”  

Perhaps he notices the sadness in your eyes when you say it. Perhaps he can tell your smile is not the happiest he’s ever seen. If he does, he chooses to stay silent. Instead, he nods. Taking his action as a sight to withdraw, you straighten on your seat.  

“There’s one more anything, actually,” Jungkook adds after a while.  

“What is it?”  

“You’re invited to a party.”  

“What party?” you ask, brows furrowed.

‘’We are celebrating Junghyun’s engagement.” he says casually.

Eyes widening, you let out a shocked gasp. “What?! Your brother got engaged?” 

Jungkook sends you a look. “Jealous, buttercup?”  

You roll your eyes. “I told you I had a crush on your brother when I was ten. It’s been twelve years since then. Twelve!” you exclaim, but he only smirks in response.  

The reason you liked Junghyun as a kid was simple: he was your best friend’s older brother. He was just there yet unreachable at the same time.  

(And he didn’t have as many pimples as Jungkook.)

But Junghyun getting married? That is a news to you. You clearly remember him telling you one day he would never form a serious relationship before he reaches thirty. Looks like he made up his mind.

“I’m just pleasantly surprised he decided to settle down. Junghyun has always been more of a free soul when it comes to dating. I even remember your mum throwing him a tantrum during barbecue because of this.” you say.

“Honestly, I’m not that shocked. You should’ve seen him looking at Hyerin during our Christmas dinner. This boy is whipped.” Jungkook chuckles.  

“Your parents must be happy.” you comment absentmindedly.

He nods, the corners of his mouth stretching in a small smile. “Yeah, they are. They really like Hyerin. And considering they won’t be getting grandchildren anytime soon thanks to my line of work–” he trails off, “–they are even happier that hyung is settling down.”  

The air seems heavy now inside Jungkook’s car. He said an obvious thing you were aware of but something aches in your chest at the thought.

You will never understand why there’s so much stigmatization surrounding idols dating other people. Wanting to be loved by someone is a natural, human need. Prohibition won’t magically stop them from catching feelings.  

But there’s also another side of the story – the one Jungkook referred to. In his line of work even if there are no obstacles, it’s hard to maintain a long-lasting relationship. And he knows that.  

You still remember vividly his first girlfriend. Her name was Eunbi and she was one of their manager’s daughter. Her dad used to take her to the MV sets, introduced her to the boys because she was a fan of them. And that’s how she met Jungkook.  

Jungkook, age seventeen, was too shy to hold a proper conversation and keep eye contact with a girl at the same time but somehow, him and Eunbi got along pretty quickly. They shared a sympathy for the same video games and for Jungkook back then it was enough to fall head over heels for her. She was his first kiss as he told you (”First real one, because I don’t count that peck Jisoo gave me in fifth grade as a kiss.”)  

After that moment you decided you’d never like Eunbi. Not because you were furiously in love with him, no.

You just didn’t want to see him form such a close bond with anyone else but you.

Their fairytale love story ended when Eunbi’s father found out about their secret randez-vous. Jungkook sulked for a week and then eventually got over Eunbi.  

(And he was again texting you about that video game you had no interest in but you pretended to be a good substitute for Eunbi and her nerdiness you lacked.)

“What are you thinking about?”  

You’re standing on the red light again. Glancing at Jungkook, you find him staring right back at you. “I’m wondering whether I’m invited to the wedding.” you lie.

“Of course you are. I’m sure hyung is going to do it officially tomorrow,” he answers with a grin. “I think Taehyung is coming too. He loves weddings.”  

Narrowing your eyes, you reply with a saccharine sweet voice, “It’s about time you introduce me to your bandmates. Especially Taehyung-oppa.”

“Oppa?”

You bite your lip. There’s no doubt you did that on purpose. You find it rather amusing to see Jungkook so worked up over such a silly thing. You wonder how far you can go before he finally snaps.  

Smirking to yourself, shrug your shoulders. “The light’s green. Watch the road, Kookie.”  

Jungkook huffs, shaking his head. It’s approximately fifteen minutes until you reach your destination. “I’m sure you will be delighted to meet him.” he says with enough amount of sarcasm for you to know he’s irritated.

“Oh, I will be over the moon.”  

“Good.”  

“Amazing, even.”

You hope he doesn’t notice you failing to maintain a serious expression.

You moved with your parents to your new house in Busan at the age of eight, two ponytails, overalls and sparkly sneakers every kid wanted to have adoring your small frame, a look of pure concern worrying your childish, chubby features. 

It was a quiet neighborhood, on the suburbs of the town, a row of similarly looking terraced buildings and small gardens in front of them, every single one akin to the other. There was nothing distinctive about the area, it screamed dullness and tedium but for years you have grown to call this place home.

You know every corner here inside out. A local grocery store owned by a lovable, elder woman known as Miss Kim, who always has spare candies underneath the counter for children who come to buy something for their parents. Next to the store, there is a florist’s. Your first, high school part-time job. The intense smell of roses makes you nauseous to these days.

There is also your primary school, huge backyard behind it with a run-down playground. You never minded it though, spending there probably too much time for your parents liking. Many memories were made there. First, innocent childish peck placed on your cheek from a 6th grader named Jinyoung. Twisted ankle, tears, pain and regret because you decided to jump off the highest step of the climbing frame one Friday afternoon after classes. A punch to the face of school’s bully Dongin, who called your new pair of Converse trainers ugly.

It was exactly fourteen days before the end of August when you met Jungkook.

You had been living in the new house for almost a month but still felt too insecure to explore the neighborhood. Most of your time you were spending inside, missing your old friends and reading books to distract your attention from the approaching start of the second semester in school.  

It was probably one of the last scorching-hot days of the year and you were sitting in your garden alone, family’s cat named Leo purring on your lap, when all of a sudden a ball bounced on the grass right in front of you, landing perfectly at your feet and almost scarring Leo to death.  

And then, you looked up and saw him.

A pair of big, black doe-like eyes hidden behind a fringe of onyx hair staring at you through the fence curiously. The boy was not much older than you, probably around your age. He was wearing a striped football t-shirt with some popular team name.  

You fidgeted slightly on the pavement where you were sitting, glancing at the boy shyly like you didn’t know why he was looking at you so intensely. You noticed a small scar on his left cheek, his knees were bruised, splashed with dirt just like his sneakers.  

“Can you give me my ball?” he asked suddenly, startling you.  

Your eyes widened. Of course he would talk to you, you scolded yourself, he wants his ball back.

When you didn’t answer immediately, he continued, “I kicked my ball here by an accident. Can you give it to me?” He pointed at the object lying at your feet.  

You nodded and picked up the ball from the ground. You threw it over the fence, so it landed directly on the other side.

“Thanks.” the black-haired boy said. “I’m Jungkook, by the way. What’s your name?”  

“___.” you responded and the boy, Jungkook, grinned at you friendly, showing his bunny-like smile. He looked cute.  

“Bye, ___! See you tomorrow!” he beamed and headed back to his house.

Tomorrow. He wanted to meet up with you and what? Play football? You were petrified, as the eight-years-old girl should be after hearing such thing from a boy.

And just like he promised, Jungkook visited you the next day. He took you to that playground behind your new primary school. You came home with bruised legs and splotches of dirt on your skirt, to your mother’s dismay.

You also came home with a content grin plastered on your face and a new friend.

Unexpectedly, Jungkook appeared to be a pleasant company and you found yourself enjoying his boyish bickering while fulfilling the rest of the summer break doing things your old friends would consider inappropriate for a girl.

You never thought you could be friends with someone like Jungkook. He was a boy, for God’s sake, and your eight-years-old-barbie-phase-self absolutely despised boys. But months passed quickly and you both found yourselves stuck to each other sides. Something in your relationship simply clicked.

The neighborhood you grew up in isn’t a suburban area but it definitely seems more peaceful than busy streets of downtown. You pass by local church, miss Kim’s store and the big, luxurious house owned my Gwon family you dreamt of living in when you were a kid.  

And then, approximately two hundred meters further, there is your house.  

“Here we are.” Jungkook says, pulling up at his parent’s driveway. They left the gate open, anticipating their son’s arrival.  

Jungkook hands you your belongings, offering you sheepish smile. “I thought that once you unpack and eat dinner, we could go to the beach together,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “Of course, only if you want to.”  

You don’t give his proposition a second thought. “I’d love to.”  

He grins in response and you take it as a sign to leave and finally meet your parents. From the distance you see your mother in the garden, dressed in her usual clothing – black and red checked shirt and cropped denim pants she wears while gardening.

She doesn’t notice you yet, too busy pulling weeds from her precious tulips. You know her better not to creep behind her like that, so you take a deep breath and shout, “Eomma! It’s me!”  

She stands up and twirls around to face you. Her eyes visibly widen, like she actually thought her mind is playing tricks on her and she might have misheard you.  

“Good Lord, Y/N, sweetie, is that really you?” She throws away her gloves and jogs up to you, enveloping you immadietly in a bear hug. “I missed you so much. Why didn’t you say anything you’re coming?”  

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” you mumble. “Jungkook took me with him.”  

At that, your mother pulls away. She arches her brows. “Jungkookie is home as well?” she asks, earning a nod from you in response. “You’re talking with him again?” Her voice is laced with apparent bewilderment but that’s exactly what you expected her reaction to be like.  

Your mother is aware you and Jungkook haven’t been keeping in touch for three long years. She was basically your only source of information about him (besides Twitter) thanks to her close friendship with his parents.  

“That’s quite a long story. I will tell you everything later.” you say. Well, maybe not entirely everything. You’re for sure going to miss out the parts you’re not proud of.  

Your mother doesn’t press you more about it. Instead, she puts her arm around your shoulders and pulls you to her side. “It’s your lucky day sweetie, because we have your favorite bulgogi for dinner. Honey, come here quick!” she shouts and you chuckle, hearing your father responding with: “What is it again?”.

The door to your house creak open, revealing your flustered dad. His expression morphs into a genuine smile when he spots you. “Is it really my daughter or are my eyes deceiving me?” he asks.  

‘’Your eyesight is fine, appa. It’s really me.” You come up and give him a small hug. He was never the affectionate type of parent but once you moved out, he let his facade break a little.  

From where you’re standing now, you have a clear view of Jeons’ house. Here, fourteen years ago, sitting on your porch, you met Jungkook for the first time. You see his window upstairs, alligned perfectly with yours. You wonder if he’s already there, inside, unpacking in his blue-painted childhood room.  

(What if it isn’t painted blue anymore?)

“Come on, let’s go. You’re probably starving.” your mother says, pulling your mind back to the present.  

Walking into your house, all you can think about are his tears-filled eyes when you were bidding him goodbye almost ten years ago in his blue bedroom.

It takes you more or less thirty minutes to reach the bay.  

When you were younger, you used to ride there by bikes practically every single day during summer. You loved sitting on the beach and observing people enjoying their time; swimming in the sea, kids building sand castles and their mums trying to relax among childlike chatter and the smell coming from nearby fishmonger’s store.

It was Jungkook who discovered the spot underneath pier. His curiosity only a twelve-year-old can posses led him there one day after school. At first, you were rather reluctant to go and didn’t mirror his excitement but once he actually showed you it, you changed your mind completely.  

It was a perfect place to hide from the world. You called it a ‘temple’ because it really felt like no one beside you knew about its existence, and that’s what made it sacred to you. When Jungkook moved away you were left to go there by yourself. Without him, it always felt like it was something missing.  

Right now, sitting here feels like you’ve you’ve turned back the time.  

It’s like you’re eighteen again, running away from the whole world, starting your own rebellion with a cigarette caught between your lips and sun disappearing behind the horizon. Listening to the songs Jungkooks had saved on his old iPod and catching up with everything that happened during the last few months when he was absent in your life. 

When you were eighteen you didn’t even know how to smoke properly, blowing out the fume too quickly and stiffing a cough so Jungkook wouldn’t laugh at you. Now it’s a different story.

Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you notice how much he’s changed physically over these five years that have passed. Gone is the baby fat on his cheeks, replaced with sculpted jawline and prominent nose. His hair is longer, falling on his forehead. There’s more piercings on his ears, an expensive watch wrapped around his wrist.  

He looks breathtaking. It never occurred to you before just how beautiful Jungkook really is up close, when there’s no flashing cameras around and make-up covering every imperfection on his face with concealer.

This is your Jungkook. The same one whose competitive nature never let you win any of his computer games, who called you after their debut showcase with quivering voice, who always treated you as his equal even when other boys were making fun of him for being friends with a girl. Your Jungkook, who’s too good for this world to be treated so unfairly.  

“I think Minho is cheating on me.” you blurt out.  

It’s been sitting on your tongue for weeks and now you finally let the words slip. You don’t see his reaction but from the sharp intake of breath you assume it’s not something he’s expected to hear from you.

“Few weeks ago I read a message on his phone from some girl asking when he will be free next time,” you continue before you could stop yourself. “He’s been meeting with her alone behind my back this whole time and I didn’t notice anything until now.” A pair of arms wrap around your frame. Jungkook presses a fleeting kiss to the crown of your head. “I don’t even know if that’s true or I’m overreacting but I just can’t understand how he can lie to me one day and the next propose to move in with him.”  

You don’t realise you’re crying until you feel Jungkook hugging you closer to him. You burry you face into his chest as sob after sob shakes your body. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispers, stroking your hair. “I’m here.”  

Few minutes pass until you calm down, wiping your tear-stained cheeks with your hand. Jungkook offers you a tissue and you thank him with a small smile. You can only imagine how ridiculous you look right now, with smudges of mascara underneath your eyes and red nose. Not a sight for sore eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just needed to get it off my chest.” you say after a moment.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Y/N. If you need to talk about it, I’m here for you. I’m still your friend, right?” Jungkook asks, meeting your eyes.

You nod, although he’s anything but friend for you. “Right.”  

Because friends don’t console each other with burning touches on bare skin. They don’t give into carnality and submit to pleasure, putting it before everything else.  

From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook’s jaw clenching. “I’m gonna kick his ass when I meet him.”  

Before you could stop yourself, you mumble, “He should probably kick yours, too.”   

Jungkook visibly stiffens, hearing your words. He avoids your eyes, staring down at his lap instead. You wonder what he’s thinking about now. Does he regret his actions? Do you regret letting it happen? No matter how much you know you did wrong, there’s a part of you longing for more. Because with Jungkook, you felt alive. Minho could never compare.

Reuniting with Jungkook after three years made you realize just how much you needed him back in your life. You actually stopped being mad at him the moment he stood in your room for the first time that night, disheveled and sleepy.  

You could love him. Perhaps you’ve always did. But he cannot give you more. Nothing besides bitter-sweet pleasure between the sheets.  

It’s Jungkook who speaks first.

“I might not be the best man in the world but I would never, ever hurt you like Minho does,” he says and you know he means it. He stares at you intensely. “You do believe me, right?”  

“I do.” you whisper truthfully.

He then leans closer and when you think he might actually kiss you, he places a small peck on your forehead. ‘’Good,” he murmurs, still inches from your lips. “Come on, let’s go. It’s getting late and I can practically hear my mum already complaining she doesn’t have enough time to spend with her son.”  

You nod aabsentmindedly at his words.

There’s a tough conversation for you to have once you’ll be back in Seoul again. Finding out about Minho’s lies was a point of no return for you. It made you realise you’ve been on this path with your relationship for a while now, missing signs or not paying enough attention to the details.  

But what is even more disturbing to you, is that you didn’t let Jungkook warm your bed out of simple frustration or heartache. You did it because you wanted him. And that thought scares you the most.

The first thing Jungkook hears in the morning when he wakes up is the high-pitched chatter and the clutter of pots coming from the kitchen.  

He sighs to himself, staring at his blue ceiling. The clock on his bedside table reads 10am and at this rate, it looks like he won’t be getting any more sleep, not when his mum and soon-to-be sister-in-law are making a fuss downstairs preparing for the party.  

The strong smell of homemade food invades his senses as soon as he enters the kitchen. He spots his mum putting something in the oven, her usual red and white polka-dot apron adoring her form. Hyerin is right next to her, busy cutting some vegetables and listening tentatively to her mother-in-law’s babbling.  

“Good morning.” Jungkook says in a groggy voice followed by a yawn.  

“Morning.” Hyerin quips, flashing him a smile.

Jungkook’s mother barely acknowledges his presence, too busy moving around the kitchen and making sure nothing is burning or overcooking. Feeling the first rumble of his stomach, Jungkook opens the fridge and stares blankly at its contents.  

Miss Jeon runs her house by the rule the more, the better when it comes to preparing food for special family occasions. Hence why there’s so many different type of products lined up in front of him, just begging to become a remedy for his empty stomach.  

“Nu-uh, don’t even think about it!” she chimes in, closing the fridge in front of Jungkook’s face and crushing his dreams about having egg toasts for breakfast. He stares at her with confused expression. “Order yourself something for breakfast, please. We need kitchen to ourselves right now.”  

Knowing better not to argue with his mother, Jungkook sighs in defeat and opens the food delivery app on his phone. He chooses the first option that comes to his mind that won’t take too long to make and slumps down onto the couch.  

“Eomma, where’s dad and hyung?” he asks, debating whether to turn on the TV or not. He decides on leaving it silent.  

“I sent them to the grocery store. They should be back in two hours,” she responds. “Hyerin-ssi, please make sure to keep an eye on the soup. I’ll be right back!” The door to bathroom slams behind her and Jungkook chuckles under his breath.  

“Is she giving you hard time?” he asks Hyerin once he knows his mother cannot hear them.

Hyerin looks up to peek a glance in his direction. “Your mum is a lovely person, really, but she can be… a lot sometimes. Especially when she’s stressed.” she says, smiling coyly.

“Tell me about it.”  

She lets out a laugh that quickly dies down when aforementioned woman emerges from the bathroom. Instead of heading straight to the kitchen, she makes her way to Jungkook. “What are you planning to do after breakfast, Jungkookie?”  

Jungkook shrugs because honestly, he hasn’t given a thought it yet. “I don’t know. Maybe I can help you with something here.” he proposes, although cutting onions and cabbage is the last thing he would like to do.

Fortunately, the grimace on his mother’s face tells her she’s not quite fond of his proposition. “Oh, no, no, no. We’re perfectly fine on our own with Hyerin-ssi. We don’t need extra pair of hands. Why do you think I told Junghyun to go with dad?” she asks rhetorically with raised eyebrows.  

Of course Jungkook knows why. Kitchen is his mother’s kingdom. No one steps a foot there while she prepares food unless she permits it herself. Today she’s even more uncompromising about it because it’s the first time Hyerin parents are meeting Junghyun’s. It’s the matter of making a good impression as the host.  

“Maybe you could call Y/N and ask her what her plans are? I’m sure she won’t be very busy.” Jungkook’s mother prompts and he feels like he’s ten again, bored on Saturday and wondering what to do with himself. Then, an idea pops in his mind.

“Yeah. You’re right,” he agrees. “I’ll call her.”  

Maybe a literal trip down memory lane is everything he needs to feel like himself again.  

As predicted, at first you welcomed his idea with a little bit of qualm, yet you said yes nonetheless.  

And now here you are, hanging out together at the playground behind your old primary school. Getting there wasn’t an easy task, it required some parkour abilities and jumping over the fence because the place is apparently being locked on weekends now. Ten years ago it used to be your life estate on Saturdays.

You’re currently sat on a swing, watching Jungkook doing pull ups. You have a nagging suspicion that he chose to go on with his daily workout routine right now on purpose but you’re not better yourself, doing rather poor job at ignoring the way his hoodie rides upwards with every move he makes, revealing his toned abdomen.

“Okay, I’m done.” he grunts, letting go of the bar. He plops down on the other swing next you with a heavy exhale. “How many was it?” he then asks, referring to the number of pull ups you were supposed to keep a track off.

For a moment you forget you’re supposed to answer, eyes focused on Jungkook’s throat as he chugs down the whole water bottle.

“Hmm?” he repeats and you quickly snap out of your trance.

“I lost count.” Truthfully, you didn’t even make an attempt to do so. You were too distracted by the act itself to pay attention to anything else, let alone do basic math. Now you do understand all these girls going crazy when they get a glimpse of his sculpted body.

Jungkook rolls his eyes in response and starts swinging himself back and forth. It you recall correctly, he lost one of his front baby teeth here, jumping off the swing.

“I thought a lot of would change here after so many years. But it looks exactly like I remembered it.” he says, slowing down to a halt.

You nod at his words. Apart from a little painting and renovations done here and there, it’s like it all got stuck in time. You’re about to add that your mother told you the infamous principal Choi is still consistently running the school, but Jungkook doesn’t let you vocalize it.

“Wait,” He stands up suddenly and walks to the seesaw swing. You furrow your brows as he crouches on the ground and attentively observes the object, presumably searching for something. “A-ha! Here it is! I knew it still would be there.” he exclaims excitedly after a few seconds.

Confused, you come up to him. “What are you doing?”  

“Look,” he says, pointing at the wooden base of the seesaw. At first glance you don’t notice anything but as you get closer, you see what he meant.  

Jinyoung + Y/N = ♡ engraved on the swing.

“Oh my god.” you groan, covering your face in embarrassment.  

Jungkook ignores your whining and actually snaps a picture of his finding. “You know what’s actually funny? It was me who did this because you didn’t have enough strength.” He giggles, making your cheeks heat up in bright shade of red. “I stole my dad’s pocket knife for it. Such a shame your love story lasted only a week.”  

“I’m not listening to you!” you announce and quickly come back to your previous spot on the swing.

Jungkook doesn’t give up easily though, enjoying tormenting you with your pre-teen love life. He follows you, asking, “Wasn’t he your first kiss as well?” You keep your mouth shut, avoiding his eyes. He then clasps his hands. “Yeah, I remember now. Sixth grade. He kissed you here, am I right?”  

You wish you could wipe off that smirk from his face.  

“I never liked Jinyoung,” he continues, sitting down next to you on the second swing. “But I always wanted to have that black range rover his dad drove.”  

Your face heats up even more at the mere mention of Jinyoung and his dad’s car in one sentence. Jungkook can make fun of your silly crush as much he wants, but he doesn’t know one thing.  

That your little infatuation had a sequel.  

Taking a deep breath, you lean closer to him and ask, “Wanna know a secret?” He sends you a curious look and nods. You brace yourself for what is about to come. “I lost my virginity at the back of that range rover.”

Jungkook chokes on air. His eyes widen in pure shock and you have to fight an urge to laugh at how ridiculous he looks right now, gaping at you with mouth wide open. “What the fuck, Y/N?! Tell me you’re joking, please.”

You sigh, shaking your head. “I wish but unfortunately, that’s true. We went to the same high school and somehow… our paths crossed together again.” you explain.

“And you decided to fuck him in his dad’s car?”  

“No, dumbass. We were dating. For whole six months.”  

Jungkook sends you a look. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“It’s not like we were talking back then,” you reply sheepishly, toying with the edge of your sweater. Suddenly it’s hard for you to meet his scrutinizing  stare. “You stopped responding to my messages a little before I started dating him.”  

The atmosphere between you tenses. Jungkook’s expression morphs from astonishment into guilt and you curse yourself for ruining the mood.  

Jinyoung is just a mere memory, one of many mistakes you made during your teen years. He wasn’t anyone special to you anymore, he never had been. Not even when he deflowered you on the backseat of his dad’s car one night after some party. You were too drunk to care and too inexperienced to do more than just lie there and take it. With your skirt hiked up and blouse mid-open, wondering if Jinyoung was just as clueless as you when it came to sex or he simply didn’t know how to pleasure women.

What Jungkook doesn’t have to know, is that you jumped into the relationship with Jinyoung to fill the void your best friend created three years ago with unanswered messages and never returned calls.  You were lonely in high school, you couldn’t manage to form a close bond with anyone after Jungkook. You hoped Jinyoung was good enough for a replacement.

“What about you then?” you ask to clear the atmosphere. “I told you my secret, now you reveal me yours.”  

To loosen up the tension a bit, you decide to play the quid pro quo card. Partially out of curiosity, but mostly because you feel like you’ve exposed yourself too much in a short period of time. It will only be fair if he gives you the same in return.  

Jungkook smiles bashfully. For the person who had done many dirty things to you before, he sure looks shy now. “I was nineteen as well. She was a friend of a friend, four years older than me. We met a party, flirted a little and one thing led to another,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve never seen here after that. She tried to contact me but I just… I didn’t want to commit to something more.”

Is he ready for more now? you wonder silently. The question stays at the tip of your tongue though. You can’t wish for more when everything he’s able to provide is a few, quick moments of blissful relief between the sheets when sun goes down.  

But what if you want more? What if you’ve always, subconsciously, felt like you belonged together but universe decided to split you apart? What if you’ve always been in love with your best friend?  

The realization hits you like a tsunami. All these years, you spent denying your feelings for him. And when there’s a chance for you act on them, you back away. 

Because even if he’s now inches from you, he seems out of your reach.

By the time you gulp down your third glass of champagne, Jungkook’s brother’s engagement party is in full swing.  

Junghyun and Hyerin didn’t invite many people to celebrate. It’s a small, family gathering. Your parents were invited thanks to the almost twenty-years-long friendship with Jeons, which started when you moved into the new house next to theirs.  

Jungkook looks painfully handsome dressed in black suit pants and emerald green button-up shirt. His raven hair is styled the way you like the most, parted in the middle and revealing his forhead. You, on the other hand, are wearing a simple, long-sleeved navy blue dress you’ve had on multiple occasions before but it’s still your top go-to garment when you have nothing else to put on.

“Have I told you look great tonight, buttercup?”  

Turning around, you’re met with Junghyun’s smiling face. Of course he would approach you with his childhood nickname for you that used to make your heart flutter.

Besides his hair color, there’s little resemblance between him and Jungkook when it comes to appearance. While Jungkook took a lot after their father, Junghyun is almost a cardboard copy of their mum. Even their characters are two polar opposites. Junghyun is the more outgoing, boisterous type but Jungkook still tends to act introverted towards strangers.  

And paradoxically, it’s the younger brother who’s making a career in entertainment industry.

“Shouldn’t you be complementing your fiancée instead?” you ask, accepting another glass of Martini Junghyun hands you.  

“As you can see, she’s busy being interrogated by my mother.”  

From the corner of your eye, you see Hyerin nodding along to whatever miss Jeon is telling her right now, expressively gesturing. It’s her brand to do so. Your father says that she talks with her mouth and hands simultaneously.

“I’m sure Hyerin-ssi went through it already when they were preparing food together earlier today.” you joke.

Junghyun chuckles, having a seat next to you. He sends quick, supportive thumbs-up to to his girlfriend when she glances at him from the spot she occupies on the couch. You can’t help but coo at the sight.

“So,” you quip, “when’s the wedding?”  

“Next year in August,” Junghyun answers. “You’re obviously invited as well.”  

You smirk around the champagne glass. “I wouldn’t miss seeing my childhood crush getting married.”  

Junghyun laughs at that, throwing his head back. After a moment he adds, “It’s funny though, how you were gushing over me when the boy who had heart eyes for you was right under your nose.”  

You arch a brow. “You mean Jungkook? He had a crush on me?”  

“If course he did. You were the only girl who talked to him and moreover, you always helped him with his homework and you know how bad he was at algebra,” Junghyun says, sending you a knowing look. That much is true. Jungkook did suck at Math and could not, for crying out loud, interact with girls. “If he could, he would’ve taken you with him to Seoul all those years ago.”  

Your eyes involuntarily drift to aforementioned boy, standing with his father in the kitchen. They are looking at something your dad is showing them on his phone, probably pictures of the car he recently renovated.  

(A classic Chevrolet Camaro 1969. For all you know it looked like Damon’s car in Vampire Diaries.)

You can see Jungkook’s eyes growing big as he stares down at the screen. Obviously, he’s genuinely amazed with what he sees. You can only hope your dad won’t try persuading him to sell his luxurious Mercedes and buy something vintage instead.

“Why didn’t ever tell me that?” you ask, your voice quivery. You take another gulp of your drink to soothe the emotions bubbling in your chest and you barely succeed.

Junghyun shrugs his shoulders in response. “Would it change anything? You were thirteen-year-old kids back then and he was moving out to another city to make his big dream come true.”  

Pursing your lips, you nod. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”  

You don’t know exactly what Jungkook feels for you right now. Back when you were teenagers, it was just a fleeting attraction. Perhaps he thought about you this way because you were a girl who liked spending time with him.  

“I know him giving up your friendship was a dick move but you have to believe me that this boy has been really lost these past three years. Now he’s trying to find himself again, to become a better version of himself,” Junghyun remarks. “He needs his best friend to help him do so.”  

Turning once again to look at Jungkook, you catch him staring right back at you. He flashes a cheeky grin and completely fails winking at you. You’re lips automatically stretch into a smile seeing his goofiness. You like that side of him. It suits him.

“I think I need to go save my fiancee from my mother.” Junghyun whispers, catching you off guard. He follows your line of sight and smirks to himself. “Go talk to him. I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind snatching Jungkook for a bit.” Unlike his younger brother, he lands a perfect wink.

Like beckoned, Jungkook approaches you when Junghyun leaves the table. “Aren’t you a little sad he’s getting married, buttercup?” It’s the first thing that night he says to you.  

Fighting an urge to snort, you ask, “Aren’t you tired of being jealous I chose Junghyun-oppa as the object of my affection and not you when we were kids?”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, manifesting his irritation. You relish in it even more now, having the knowledge he used to pin after you. He ignores your witty retort though completely.

“Want to get out of here for a while?”  

Your heart skips a beat. “Where?” you blurt out, looking around the room for any place comfortable for you to stay in for a while.

“Isn’t it obvious?” When you raise your brows in question he adds, “To your house, of course.”  

“But–”

He shooshes you with a finger on his lips. “No buts, Miss Grumpy. It’s been ages since I’ve been in your room. Do you still have that Edward Cullen’s poster above your bed?” he asks and this time, you actually land a punch to his arm.

Downing the rest of your champagne, you get up from the chair. “Shall we?”  

“Ladies first.”  

“I still can’t understand why did you really hang a poster of some pale dude above your bed.”  

You’re climbing up the stairs to your room, and Jungkook is in the middle of his rant about Why Twilight Has Ever Been A Thing. You’re ten seconds from pointing out his teenage female crushes one by one, starting with IU just to rile him up.

“It’s just weird for me,” he huffs upon taking one last step to the top.

You whip your head to send him a glare. “Do you really want me to say the same thing about your fans worshipping your posters?” you ask, eyes narrowed. “You’re out of their reach just like Edward Cullen was out of mine when I was fourteen.”

He points his finger at you. “But he’s a fictional vampire and I’m real.”  

“Exactly!”  

You leave him with that, eyebrows scrunched in confusion, and open the door to your room.

“So you did get rid of him after all.”  

Nothing really much changed in your childhood room since you moved out four years ago. Your walls are still painted in lavender but the posters are long gone, much to Jungkook’s dismay. There is a bookshelf with all your favorite positions (Twilight included) standing directly next to the desk which is now pearl white, just like the rest of your furniture.  

Before you can say anything, Jungkook plops down onto your bed. “You still got them though,” he murmurs and you glance in his direction, waiting for him to elaborate on what he means. He raises his finger to the ceiling. “Those yellow stars that shine when it’s dark. You have the same in your apartment in Seoul.”  

“Oh, yeah,” you awkwardly reply, looking up. “I put them there so I can have something reminding me of home.”  

Truth to be told, you are a sentimental person. The very best evidence of your heart’s weakness is the corkboard with old photos in your apartment. As cheesy as it might sound, it gives you a sense of comfort.

Jungkook hums at that and pats the spot next to him with his hand. “Come lay with me.” he proposes.

“Why?” you ask, although you sit down on the bed anyway.  

“Because I want you to,” he grumbles and places his palm on your stomach, pushing you to lay flat. “There you go.”  

It reminds you of old days, how you used to lay down with him like that on your bed and just do nothing, simply staring at the constellations on your ceiling in silence or speaking about trivial things.  

Life was much easier back then, when there was no cameras flashing around and capturing every move your best friend makes. When you were just two kids with head full of dreams and dragging on forever doing your Chemistry homework. When you were each other’s beginning and end, yin and yang, sun and moon and the starry sky above you.  

It slips off your tongue eventually, what have you been meaning to ask him since the beginning of your illicit affair. And now it seems like you’ve finally reached the point of no return. “What are we, Jungkook?”  

You turn your head to the side, staring at his right profile. His chiseled jawline, black lashes ghosting the skin of your cheeks. He opens his eyes slowly, focusing his sight on you but you quickly look away.

“You know damn well that we aren’t just friends anymore. Maybe we’ve never been,” You sit up straight from your position, finally gaining enough courage to face the matter. “You can’t play with my emotions like that and expect me not to catch any feelings for you. You’re confusing me so much, Jungkook. I don’t think I can go on like that any more.”  

You feel his palm on the small of your back, comforting and bringing you a brief wave of solace. He follows suit, getting up from his position as well. “Look at me,” he murmurs and you jerk your head to the side. You don’t want him to see you like this again - vulnerable and exposed. “Please, ___.”  

It’s his pleading voice that makes you succumb to his request. Hesitantly, you accept his touch on your cheek and meet his doe eyes, two black charcoals shining in the dim lighting of your childhood room. He has the same look in them as you saw the first time he kissed you. If the teeth worrying his bottom lip are anything to go by, you could mistake it for nervousness.  

“I shouldn’t feel that way about you,” Jungkook finally says. “I shouldn’t wake up with an urge to text you because if I didn’t, my day would be incomplete. I shouldn’t picture us doing mundane things like cooking ramen in your apartment or picking you up from work,” he recites, voice laced with an emotion you can’t quite put the name on. Or maybe you do.

It’s longing.  

“I shouldn’t imagine us being together because I can’t give you all of these things, ___.” Lone tear slides down your cheek and he catches it with his thumb. “I’m so, so sorry.”  

You’re shaking your head, because no, he shouldn’t apologize for the world’s unfairness, for wanting to have more of you, of freedom. “Jungkook–” you start but he’s quick to interrupt you.  

“I told you this before and I’m repeating it now: you deserve so much better than what I can give you, ___.”  

He tries to distance himself, to back away and leave because that’s what he’s a master of but you beat him to it, extending your index finger and poking him right in the middle of his chest. “Now you listen to me, Jeon Jungkook,” you urge, not caring about your tear-strained cheeks and shaky voice. “I’m a very stubborn person, and you know that. If I wanted to leave you, I would’ve kicked you out of my apartment the day your drunk ass stormed back into my life.”  

He smiles sheepishly, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “And why didn’t you do that?” he asks, his palm not leaving your cheek.  

“Because more than anything, I’ve never stopped caring about you,” It’s almost a whisper. “No matter how hurt I was, I couldn’t let you slip away from my reach again.”  

And then he’s leaning even closer, lips almost touching yours yet it feels like it’s not enough. It’ll never be. “___,” he murmurs your name softly, breath smelling of champagne hot on your skin. You feel dizzy, drunk on him. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”  

You both know it’s a white lie, that as soon as you’re back in Seoul the reality will brutally kick you in but you let yourself for a moment indulge in this fantasy – that you’re his and he’s yours. You’re on the opposite sides of the spectrum, yet you cannot be separated.  

And you need to hear him say it.

“Promise?”  

Jungkook seals it with a kiss, the one that leaves you breathless and pliant in his arms, blindly reaching for him and pulling him closer with your hands on his neck. “Promise.” he whispers, eyes trained on yours.

For now, it has to be enough.

Then, as if he can’t hold himself back any longer, he dives in for more, hands finding purchase on your hips. He’s tugging you closer until you’re perched on top of his thighs, feeling the hard flesh flexing underneath your weight. It feels familiar; that funny, pulsing sensation building up in your core when he swipes his tongue over your bottom lip to meet yours. It makes you tangle your fingers in his black locks and pull, just to hear him groan into your mouth.

But there’s another pressing matter on your mind and before you can go any further, you’re pulling away from his lips with a light smack. Jungkook doesn’t take the hint though, anchoring your hips over his crotch.

“Wait,” you mumble in between kisses, biting down the moan that almost tears from your throat when he uses the grip on your body to grind down on him. “What about the party? What if parents will come home and–”

“Shhh,” He silents you with a peck on your quivery lips. “They won’t. The party has barely started. And even if they do come home, you’ll just have to be quiet, right?” Something about his tone makes you nibble on your bottom lip to suppress a whimper. He sees it, and leans down to kiss your throat. “Can you do that for me, baby?”  

“Mhm,” you mewl, angling your neck to give him more access. He sucks a mark right above your sternum and it almost distracts you from asking him one more thing. “Jungkook,”  

He licks a stripe up the column of your throat and looks at you, lips shining with saliva. “What is this?”  

Despite the urge to kiss him stupid right here and there, you cup his cheeks and repeat the same question that led you to this very moment. “What are we?”  

Jungkook looks like a living sin with his blown out pupils and disheveled hair yet his gaze is nothing less than affectionate. He brings one of your hands to his lips and places a kiss on your knuckles. “Whatever you want us to be,” he responds, sincere. “You know I never give up without trying.”

You nod, a small smile dancing on your features. “I know.”  

He captures your mouth in another kiss, like he’s trying to prove his statement with actions; sucking, biting, kneading your supple flesh just right. Suddenly there’s too many clothes separating you and your fingers grip his silk shirt in faint attempt to satisfy your yearning to feel him fully.

As if reading your mind, Jungkook stops mid-decorating your neck with yet another red mark. “Get up and take off your dress for me, baby.” he says, all soft but still demanding enough to make your knees wobble. As much as you love the dominant side of him, you’re enjoying this new-found softness of his.  

You comply to his request in an instant, raising from his lap to a standing position. Your fingers travel to your backside and pull the zipper down. Your dress falls on the floor with light thud, leaving you in your underwear. It’s matching but not your best pick nonetheless; simple black lace bra and cotton panties. Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind though, two antsy hands gently pulling you closer to him until you’re in between his thighs.  

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning down to press a feathery kiss on your belly. You let out a shaky sigh, trying to avert your gaze away from his burning stare but he destroys your attempt. “Don’t shy away from me now.” A squeeze to your hip is a warning. You give in, looking down just to see him smirking right back at you.  

“I won’t if you take off your clothes as well.” you challenge despite your trembling voice.

He gets up, towering over your figure. “Undress me then.” Your shaky fingers reach for the buttons, opening one by one. He watches your movements attentively, lets you run your palms over his broad chest. His silky shirt joins your dress on the floor as you fumble with his belt buckle.  

There’s something intimate about this moment. It’s not the first time you’re seeing each other naked yet everything feels new, unchartered. You’re exploring each other again, mapping your bodies with subtle touches and observant eyes. 

Jungkook strips off his slacks, steps off his shoes along with socks. He sends you a cheeky grin. “Now we’re even.” He swallows your giggle with his mouth, not wasting any more time and pressing you against his body.  

You moan when you feel his erection touching your hip. He uses it as an opportunity to slither his tongue inside, each experienced lick making it hard for you to follow his tempo. You go lax in his hold, letting him snap your bra open. He maneuvers your body until you’re laying on your back and he’s straddling your waist.  

“So pretty,” he marvels, palms caressing your breasts. Your nipples harden under his ministrations, breathy moan escaping your lips when he pinches them. “Such a pretty baby.” he repeats, lost in touching every part of you he can reach.

Jungkook peppers kisses on your belly, hands travelling to your thighs. He leans to kiss you on your panty-clad mound. You mewl at the sensation, unconsciously sliding your legs wide open and giving him more access to your center. “Can I eat you out?” he asks, continuing mouthing over your pussy. When you don’t answer him in time, he slaps your thigh in reprimand. ‘’Hmm?”  

“Please,” you whimper, mind send into overdrive. Minho rarely went down on you and you almost forgot how good it feels to have someone’s mouth on you.

Jungkook grasps your underwear and pulls it down your legs, revealing your dripping pussy to his hungry eyes. His breath tickles your folds, sheets grasped tightly between your fingers. Jungkook kitten-licks your pulsing clit, eyes trained on your face to see every small reaction he emits from you.

“Jungkook,” you keen, hips rising to chase after his mouth.  

He nibbles on your thigh playfully, flashing you a sly smile. “What do you want, doll?”  

It’s the ‘doll’ that makes you whine pitifully at him. He relishes in it, sucking your clit into his mouth as an apology for his teasing.  You whimper, “Please, I want more. Give me more.”  

‘’Demanding, are we?” he snorts but complies anyway. No matter how much he loves hearing you beg, he enjoys eating you out more. He covers you your pussy with his mouth, tongue swiping over your sensitive numb. He licks up clean your soaking slit, not missing a single drop of your pearly arousal.

He groans at the taste and throws your legs over his shoulders. He pulls you even closer to him until his face is burried between thighs. Your fingers wander to his hair on their own accord, threading into his silky strands. After a harsh suck he abuses your clit with, you pull. It spurs him on even more, a groan mouthed against your pussy causing even more slick to drip down your opening. 

“Tell me how good it feels.” he mumbles, glancing up at your face. You focus your sight on him, his chin is shining with translucent substance, hair tangled and sweaty against his forehead.  

“So good,” you mewl.  

“Yeah? That good?” Jungkook asks, tone almost mocking. You’re now only nodding in response, your cunt pulsing with a need to release. “Can you cum for me like this, baby?” he mouths along your folds.  

“Please, please,” You’re nearly crying, tears pricking in the corners because the pleasure is too much to bear. Your clit throbs, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Oh my god–Kook!”  

“Good girl,” He rewards you with two slender fingers pushing inside your pussy, searching for that one stop that makes your insides flutter. “My pretty baby, tastes so sweet for me.” he rasps before licking a stripe up your cunt.

His digits slide even deeper into you. It sounds sinfully wet but you don’t care, accepting whatever he gives you. And give does he, plunging his fingers repeatedly inside and flicking his tongue against your bud – a perfect symphony to finally send you over the edge.

“There you go,” he murmurs, feeling your walls tightening around his fingers. More juices leak out of your hole and he drinks them up eagerly. “My pretty girl doing so good for me.”  

He prolongs your orgasm until you stop him with a breathy whimper of, “’m sensitive.”  

Jungkook gets up to hover over your shaking body. He opens your mouth with a deep, wet kiss. You taste your arousal on his tongue, feeling no longer foreign and eliciting a moan out of you. His length presses against your hip, hard and straining his briefs. With a surge of boldness you reach down, rolling his underwear off his body. His cock slaps against his abdomen, curved tip leaking precum.

Nibbling on your bottom lip you watch as his hand encloses around his member, giving it a few pumps. He groans, head thrown back. Your eyes focus on the sweat dripping down his sculpted body all the way from his neck down his chest. Jungkook is a sight for sore eyes– slim waist, toned thighs. Everything about him is mesmerizing.  

He settles between your legs, cock prodding at your folds. “You sure?” he asks, searching for your eyes.  

You don’t answer him verbally this time and he doesn’t press about it. Instead you open your legs even wider, a small smile dancing on your features as you nod. You’re welcoming the stretch with a drawn out moan. He pushes himself inside slowly, until he’s flushed against your pelvis, his neatly trimmed pubic hair tickling your skin.  

“Fuck,” he curses, hands coming up to grip your sides so tightly you’re sure they’ll leave fingertip bruises. “You’re so perfect, baby. Made for me.” He leans to press a kiss on your mouth, tongue lazily lacing with yours. It’s messy, saliva trickling down your chin but you don’t care, reciprocating with vigor.  

Jungkook pulls away and places one last peck on your cheek. “Ready?” he murmurs.  

You couldn’t be more than. “Ready.”  

He picks up the pace, blindly reaching for your legs to make you encircle his waist. You’ve never fucked in this position before, with him so close to your face you could practically taste the sweat dripping off his body on your lips. He relishes in having you like this, palms caressing every square inch of your flesh. 

‘’God, I missed having you like this, doll,” he grunts. He props his hand next to your head and it gives him leverage to hammer himself faster into your cunt. “Do you like how I’m fucking you?” he asks and you keen in response. He doesn’t seem to be satisfy with your reaction. “Too fucked out to speak?” You hear him chuckling evily into your ear.

“Shit, Jungkook,” you whimper, throwing your hands over his neck. His skin his hot and slippery under your touch. He rams himself even harder into you, hips never losing the rhythm. You feel the pressure building up in your abdomen already, reducing you to mewling mess underneath him. “I-I love it. So, so much.” you stammer out.

“Yeah?” he prompts, fingers slipping down your belly to toy with your clit. “Love how my cock is fucking you?”

“Yes, yes–fuck,” you chant. “So good.”  

He loses himself in you, in the way how tight you feel around his cock. He tells you this, spits filthy obscenities into your ear and punctuates it with deep strokes inside you. He wants to have you like this forever, keep you to himself and hide from the whole world.  

It’s selfish of him to think that way but he can’t help it, not when you’re moaning so pretty when he tightens his grip on your waist and rails you harder into the mattress. Not when you’re there when he needs you, when you’re his lifeboat bringing him back to the land (sanity).  

He wants to see you smile for him, because of him. Wants to call you his. And that’s what he asks you to, begs in stranded voice. “Say you’re mine,”  You’re shaking your head, tears threatening to spill from your eyes but he needs to hear you say it even if it’ll be just this once. “Please, tell me you’re mine, ___.”

Your whole body shudders from pleasure. You open your quivery lips but nothing comes out of it except for a broken whimper of his name. “J-jungkook–”

“Please,” he pleads once again, entangling your hands from around his neck and pinning them over your head instead. “Say nobody will ever make you feel this way. Fuck you until you cry,” he continues, fingers circling your nub with ferocity. “Fucking say it!”  

You sob, pleasure rippling through your body and throwing you off the edge. “I’m yours,” you whisper hoarsly, staring into his dark orbs. “Yours, yours, yours!” you repeat, creaming his cock with your release.  

“Fuck,” Jungkook groans and you don’t know it’s because of your confession or your walls constracting around his member. Maybe it’s the mixture of both. “You’re mine just like I’m yours.” he spits as the orgasm approaches him, shuddering through his whole body. He comes with a call of your name, spilling himself inside.  

You whimper at the sensation, your arousal mixing with his and dripping from your hole. Jungkook lets go of your wrists, pressing a peck on each of them. His palm cups your cheek and he leans down to kiss you. It’s lazy, your mouths barely moving but it feels good anyway.  

He’s in the middle of pulling his softening cock out of your core when you hear your mum’s voice.  

“___, honey, are you here?” She’s downstairs, approximately forty-five seconds from reaching your room.

Jungkook sends you a panicked look. “Go lock my door!” you hiss. 

He obliges quickly, naked butt jogging across the room to twist the key. You can’t help but giggle as he tiptoes to the bed again. He puts a hand over your mouth and murmurs, “Shhh, be quiet.”  

Your mum’s heels clink on the stairs. Few seconds later she’s knocking on your door. “___, are you there?” she asks. You’re praying she won’t twist the handle because in that case you’ll have a lot of awkward explaining to do. Fortunately, she gives up. “I guess they went for a walk.”  

By ‘they’ she means you and Jungkook who’s currently stifling a laugh against your shoulder. “Well, maybe not for a walk but something equally energy-draining.” he whispers. You elbow him in the stomach, making him chuckle even harder.

When you hear the door to your house closing, you let out a breath of relief. “I knew fucking in my childhood bedroom wasn’t a good idea.”

Jungkook smirks. “You sure about that?” he teases, squeezing your hip. It makes you roll your eyes but you don’t hide the smile on your face afterwards anyway.

Jungkook reaches for your panties and rolls you onto your back, carefully cleaning you up and then himself. He tucks you beneath the covers, encircling your body with his arm. You relish in the heat radiating of him, pressing your cheek right where his heart beats.

“You’ve never told me what would be my biography’s title.” Jungkook says after a moment.  

You smile to yourself, fingertips drawing patterns on his skin absentmindedly. “I’d call it ‘Lost Star’.” you answer.  

“Because I’m a troublesome celebrity?” he chuckles and you shake your head.  

“Well, of course you can interpret it like that but for me it has more of a metaphorical sense,” you explain. “You’re a star, like those on the sky, which got lost and came to Earth instead. That’s why you’re so special. Because you’re out of this world.”  

“I’m no special,” Jungkook grumbles, pouting.  

You sit up from your position to look him in the eyes. “You’re wrong, Jeon Jungkook. And I think I’m not the only person who thinks the same,” you urge. He meets your gaze and you realise how young he looks right now. Young and boyish. “You make thousands of people smile because of your music. That’s a special ability to me.”  

He flashes you a small smile. “I’ve never thanked you for believing in me from the very beginning.” he says, cupping your cheek in his palm.  

“Always.”  

You drift off to sleep with his voice humming softly in your ears.

[4 months later]

“Bangtan Sonyeondan are currently at the Incheon International Airport, leaving for their upcoming world tour. Their first show will be held this Saturday in Los Angeles and–”

You walk into the living room and sit on the sofa, staring at the pictures Korean press took of Jungkook and his bandmates while they were departing to US. They are dressed in their casual clothing and you know the fans are going to freak out seeing Jungkook’s hair has gotten long enough to tie it in a man bun. You’re almost sure the news have already spread on Twitter.

The TV is too big for your liking but Jungkook insisted on buying it anyway. You can almost see the pimple on his cheek he woke up with this morning. It makes you smile involuntarily.

Rest of the design in his–now yours as well– apartment was mainly your idea. He bought it without telling you because he knew you would freak out. And you did, obviously, call him crazy. But he didn’t mind. Told you he needed a space for himself for a very long time and now he has someone to share it with.  

The house feels empty without him. It’s too spacious for one person and when he’s not around, you feel like intruder. But you’ve put on your big girl shoes this morning after a passionate round of love making and teary-eyed goodbyes. You won’t slip them off until he will come home to you in two months.  

He promised he would show you Paris and London. You know he will keep that promise, although you aren’t sure you’ll be able to make it with your new job. After breaking up with Minho, Jungkook encouraged you to try sending your drafts to different publishing companies. And one of them responded positively.

You check your phone–your smiling face meeting you on the lockscreen. Jungkook’s smooching your cheek, but prying eyes wouldn’t be able to tell it’s him from that angle. His last text message is from fifteen minutes ago.  

[5:55pm] jungkook:  

We’re departing in 20 minutes  

I’m missing you already so much:(

You reply, although he’s probably fast asleep like he always does during flying.  

[6:01pm] me:  

Miss u too!!

And you mean it. You’re missing him when he’s at his dance practice, when he’s in the studio. But it has to be enough for now.  

The dates he takes you for have to be in the confines of your apartment. You can’t go for a walk and hold his hand or kiss him in public. He said you needed to wait for the tour to end to discuss publicly announcing your relationship. You’re wondering what’s better: forever hiding or being judged for every step you take.

You’re a strong girl, he once told you. And you’ll continue being one. For the two teenagres on the beach smiling to the camera in the framed photo next to your TV.  

However long it takes.