#Maybe a weird post to make but i haven't stopped trying to figure this out since i found those specific sectors in

[wachi-delectrico]

How can we reconcile the idea that sexuality and sexual orientation do not correspond to a specific set of behaviours and actions and that sexuality and sexual orientation aren't just about sex with the fact people will insist a straight man having sex with another man makes him gay

[sammis-svsss-brainrot]

OKAY WAIT I SAW THIS POST AND IT MADE ME THINK OF LIKE-

Shen Yuan transmigrates into Luo Binghe, BUT Luo Binghe's soul doesn't exactly like... Leave?

Like there's that one really popular fic that always comes up on ao3 search results that I haven't gotten around to reading yet where Shen Jiu reloads into Shen Qingqiu's body and he and Shen Yuan have to work at being Shen Qingqiu together BUT LIKE CONSIDER THAT SAME CONCEPT BUT WITH SHEN YUAN LOADED INTO BINGHE'S BODY-

Shen Yuan dies, and wakes up in the world of PIDW, watching the events play out from Luo Binghe's perspective

It's a bit weird to get used to, getting used to watching events play out in this way, but he thinks he's grown so obsessed with PIDW that instead of watching his life play out before his eyes, he's watching Binghe's play out instead

But in true Peerless Cucumber fashion, Shen Yuan cannot stay silent while Binghe endures such abuse, and finds himself cursing out this shitty movie for Binghe to actually do something and fight back

Imagine his surprise when Binghe suddenly stops what he's doing and acknowledges Shen Yuan's comments that have appeared like a voice in his head

Cue mass confusion and panic and eventually Shen Yuan figures out that Binghe can hear him??? Somehow?? Similar to how I imagine Meng Mo will function in the future but Binghe has not yet encountered Meng Mo so he's very shocked and Shen Yuan is also very shocked

Cue Shen Yuan realizing that he's in a very unique position to help make Binghe as OP as possible without any of the trauma because uhh maybe without having a physical body, he doesn't get a System?

Meng Mo eventually appears and Shen Yuan gets a "physical" body in Binghe's dreamscape but by this point Shen Yuan has been doing such a good job of teaching Binghe everything he needs to know about everything, Binghe has already extremely latched onto Shen Yuan (and the shizun obsession begins once more)

Anyways, we basically get Shen Yuan guiding Binghe through the plot of PIDW and reshaping it to his making, much to the chagrin of Shang Qinghua, who very much still has a System and is still stuck trying to move the plot along

Cue shenanigans and things actually relevant to the plot, and maybe a cool mechanic of Binghe being able to pass control over to Shen Yuan at certain points?

And long story short it ends with overpowered Demon Lord Binghe sans the harem of so many women finally finding a way to get Shen Yuan's soul out of his head and into a body of his own

Shen Yuan, being super fucking oblivious assumes that Binghe has not pursued the harem because he didn't want Shen Yuan spying on his papayaing with his many numerous wives and turns to leave Binghe to a life in peace or something only to get wifed to Binghe himself

Bonus sequel fic ideas if getting his own body gives Shen Yuan a system of his own but because he's essentially an OC, his mission requirements are basically to fulfill as many wife plots or something lighthearted and stupid type deal

[eggcats]

Still thinking about this post bc these two morons have taken over my mind.

And I'm just like. Even after the revelation that Alastor thinks Vox is attractive, and even AS Vox is trying to get this idiot oblivious deer to realize he likes him, Alastor doesn't really change how he treats Vox. Like, at all.

The only change is that now part of his mockery is calling him stupid for not realizing that he's the most eligible demon in hell, lmao (he didn’t realize Vox didn't already know, how stupid of him).

He still likes picking fights and actually fighting him for real. (It's Fun and Entertaining - and for him, nothing has changed that would make him stop)

And I'm kind of thinking that THIS, and not everything else, is what makes Vox realize that Alastor ISN'T mocking him about this. He's serious. Because surely if this was an entire plot to make fun of him, Alastor would at least ATTEMPT to woo him properly before he pulls out the rug from under him, right? He wouldn't just continue on with his day as if he didn't just upend Vox's entire afterlife.

Like, maybe after the first conversation, and after Vox powers back on, he's hopeful, but he knows both what he looks like and what ALASTOR'S like, so he kind of just assumes that Alastor has figured out his less than 100% rival feelings towards him and decided to add it to his mockery.

But then he shows up the next day, determined to beat Alastor at his own game (he will PRETEND to be wooed and then throw it back on him when Alastor tries to mock him, it'll surely work! Totally). And Alastor is like, "Why are YOU back here?!" And doesn't even act any different towards Vox than he did the day before the Revelation.

And Vox is like. Oh, fuck. He was serious.

Suddenly, Vox realizes that, rather than the Normal Hell he THOUGHT he lived in (one where Alastor makes fun of his crush on him) he lives in Weird Hell, where now he has to somehow convince Alastor that he just, is attracted to him and NOT that everyone, somehow, is just. In love with him? Or something??? (What the Fuck?)

There are times when he's tired of fighting with Alastor about this, that a part of him wishes he DID live in Normal Hell, because at least he'd know what to do. (It's not like Val doesn't ALSO mock his crush on Alastor, he at least knows how to respond to THAT).

Even when he convinces Alastor to date him (to make everyone (who doesn't exist, by the way) jealous), Alastor still barely treats him any different. He still pokes and teases at Vox, even as he is (seemingly unintentionally) complimenting him.

One time, Alastor is like, "We haven't fought in ages, we should do that the next time we plan an outing!"

Vox, about to lose it because he had just NOW thought he understood what was going on: What the fuck??! I thought we were dating, why do you still want to kill me?!

Alastor: Dear, we've never been trying to kill each other! If we were, one of us would be dead, ha ha! This is entertainment, pure and simple!

(Translation: Alastor is bored and requires enrichment in his enclosure).

And now Vox has to now grapple with the fact that Alastor apparently saw fighting with him as fun, and not, y'know, rivals legitimately trying to kill one another. What.

--

Also, Valentino notices very quickly the sudden change in Vox's demeanor - usually when they fight, Vox doesn't take long before coming to him for forgiveness. Or, the few times he doesn't, Val doesn't have any difficulties changing Vox's mind (and getting Vox to buy him whatever he wants).

So, when Val decides that if Vox is going to stay pissy about his little comment, he'll "apologize" - ("Come on, amorcito, you know you're the only one for me! Those whores mean nothing compared to you!") But Vox, just, doesn't forgive him and go back to his arms. And Valentino is at a loss.

He LOSES it when he finds out Vox has been hanging at that shitty hotel and chasing that radio bastard (again!). He doubles his efforts of letting Vox know there is absolutely No Way Alastor cares for him at all, let alone as much as Valentino does!

And then Vox and Alastor are dating, and Val tries to shoot one (or both) of them. (He also tries to get Vox to leave Alastor for him when he finds them fighting and destroying empty buildings in a part of the pentagram, but it doesn't work because once they're done fighting Alastor is like "Well, that was fun!" And invites Vox to dinner after, lol. The fighting was the date activity for the day for the silly little radio man, and Vox is too confused to question it.)

(Also, ironically, Val being pissed at Alastor dating Vox just validates Alastor's beliefs - because it never occurs to him to Val is mad because keeping Vox hanging off of him made it easier for Val to get whatever he wants).

--

But, slowly, Vox is starting to realize that, despite Alastor INSISTING that he's not into him and is only dating him for the (nonexistent) clout - he does weirdly care in his own way, and somehow, he's a more romantic partner to him than Valentino ever was, even without seeming to even try to be or realizing it.

One time, Alastor notices that Vox not been to the hotel once in the past few days (since this whole thing has started, he's basically been showing up consistently), so he goes to break into Vee tower to see what's up.

"What's up" is Vox overworking himself and not sleeping for days and only consuming energy drinks as he hasn't left his little computer dungeon even once.

So. Alastor just. Kidnaps him. Refuses to listen as Vox is like, yelling that this project needs done, like, yesterday!

Alastor: Dear, are there not two others in your team who could do this?

Vox: Val is fucking useless at this shit, and Velvette doesn't care if it's late!

Alastor: Well, what's the point of them? You should let me eat them for this. Regardless, it's been at least 3 days of this for you, so if they wish for it to be on time, they can do it themselves.

And then Alastor just brings them back to his room and forces Vox to eat a real meal, before picking him up and dumping him on his bed.

(Vox, suddenly wide awake: What the fuck. What the FUCK. Since when were we having sex?!?!)

(They're not. Alastor changes his clothes to pajamas and threatens to eat one of his employees for every minute he's not sleeping for the next 8 hours.)

(Vox wonders what's wrong with him that he considers this to be romantic).

Either way, Vox passes out for at least 10 hours before waking up to 30+ missed calls, 50+ missed texts, and 100+ missed emails, all wondering where he disappeared to and why the project he was working on wasn't finished. Once again, Alastor offers to eat them. Vox refuses to find it charming. (He's lying, he does).

Especially since after this incident, Alastor will break into Vee tower now more often if he thinks Vox hasn't eaten or slept properly.

And then, one day, Vox just realizes that, despite Alastor saying to the contrary, they're definitely, like, dating for real. But Vox can't tell Alastor that, because any time he even implies this, he calls Vox an idiot because he's only dating him for publicity. (Never acknowledging that, like, anything he does for Vox that isn't in the public eye is very clearly not for that, lol)

[justficsiguess]

I guess I'm just gonna post all of my daydream scenarios lol. Another batfam one!

tw: feelings of inadequacy, memory loss

So. You wake up, no idea where you are or what's going on. No memories of who you are or your life before this.

The people who call themselves your family try everything to get you to remember, show you around the mansion where you apparently live, showing you different trophies that are everywhere in your (admittedly, very beautiful) room, explaining to you how and when you won them, pointing at pictures hoping you'll remember where they were taken... But, nothing.

They even tell you about the vigilante stuff! They try throwing stuff at you and seeing if your reflexes still work subconsciously (you get hit in the face with a lot of pillows, Damian has to be stopped from throwing knives multiple times). Don't you remember when you solved the Riddlers puzzles with Batman? When you and Nightwing took down Poison Ivy? ...Nothing sounds familiar? You lost your memories after being hit by a weird ray gun from a new villain, they haven't been able to figure out exactly how it works yet...

When none of that works they try stuff that they think might upset you, but it's the only thing left. How you lost your family before being taken in by Bruce and joining your new family, becoming a vigilante to stop other kids from losing their parents in the same way as you. Unsurprisingly, that doesn't ring any bells whatsoever. They show you pictures of your old family, and... you think you remember them? But not dead, not gone, you get flashes of going grocery shopping with them, looking older than they were when they died, apparently? How can that be...? After that, most of your memories return pretty quickly. You don't belong here.

You all figure out together that apparently you didn't just lose your memory, you switched places with the version of you that actually belongs to this universe! It's nice knowing what happened and that they might be able to figure out a way to switch back with their version of you, to get you home, but it also hurts.

Looking more closely at the other-you's life, it's pretty close to everything you've ever dreamed of... Having hobbies you've always wanted to have but never had the time and/or money for (they can play so many instruments, they dance, etc), a close friend group, maybe even a relationship, even their room is decorated exactly how you'd decorate it if you had the space and money! And all of their achievements... Graduated top of the class, got a scholarship to college, trophies for all sorts of sports. Basically everything you could think of, they excelled in.

You start sleeping in one of the guestrooms.

It's awkward, answering the other-you's family's questions about your life. What are your hobbies? Oh, um, nothing much, mostly I just go to work I guess... What's your job? Do you like it? Uhm, well, it's nothing important or groundbreaking or anything, but I guess there's worse ones! I mean, especially considering that I dropped out of university... Ok, well, what about your friends? Family? Friends? Um, I mean I get along with some of my coworkers, but I wouldn't really call them friends... And my family is just a normal family, I guess?

Needless to say, they want their helpful, smart, wonderful family member back. And you get it, they don't know you, you're a stranger to them! But, after they're able to contact the other-you (unable to bring them back yet, but their memories came back as well and they started working on something similar to the Batfam, which makes it so they can at least talk to each other for now), you find out that they're doing better in your life than you ever did. They got a better job or re-enrolled in university, show way more motivation and discipline than you ever did for anything in your life... The worst part is, they couldn't tell your parents that they're not you, they'd never believe them! So your parents are of the opinion that the mysterious accident is the best thing that ever happened to you! Sure, it was rough at first, but look at you now! Finally making something out of yourself, they couldn't be prouder!

So you're just stuck knowing that both families prefer the other-you, the better-you, smart-you, vigilante-you... Sure, maybe your parents would want you back if they knew it wasn't actually you who was achieving all of these things, but still, now you know they really were disappointed in you, that you weren't living up to their expectations...

[The other-you is having a rough time as well, though. Imagine suddenly remembering that the people you've been living with after your accident/memory-loss are dead where you're from, and you can't even tell them that! You missed them so much, but it's been so long they're strangers to you now... You try to get your mind off of it, work hard, etc, but everyone acts like that's so unlike you and doesn't seem like something you would have done before? You don't know them, they don't know you, you missed them so much, you'll have to lose them all over again. The other version of you seems mad at you for changing your life even though you think it's better now than what they had before.]

[olderthannetfic]

Hi hi! I have a question and I apologise if it's impertinent but I really didn't have anyone else to ask. I'm new to ao3 and I'm still figuring out how it works. The problem is this- when I look up a character x reader, I'll see the tag included in many works that have oneshots but since it's a side character, more often than not the oneshot for the character hasn't been written and the tag has been there for months. Is it okay to do that or is it tagging something incorrectly? They say they'll write one eventually but they never do, y'know? To me it kind of feels like they're just trying to reach a wider audience but because of this I can't even filter tags and I have to manually search through the book to check if the character is included, especially when the chapters are titled only by numbers :')

Is it okay to tag things in advance like that?

--

Oh boy...

Wattpad refugees do tend to use AO3 "wrong", sometimes in ways that break the rules and sometimes just in ways I find annoying and against typical AO3 culture.

I'm assuming you are coming from Wattpad based on you calling a work or a fic a "book", which is a very, very Wattpad thing to do.

I'm assuming they are coming from Wattpad given the bad behavior you're describing and the fact that they're a x reader writer.

--

So, here's the thing, if you start writing a fic and there's any amount of the actual fic, even if it's pretty short and bad or in a weird format or whatever, it's still a valid fanwork. Most of the time, AO3 leaves it to the author to decide how to tag (aside from a very few things like death threats in the tags or failing to use the required archive warnings).

AO3 won't stop someone from tagging a future pairing that hasn't appeared yet.

--

But "books" of "oneshots" are such an obnoxious Wattpad thing. This is a completely stupid use of AO3 from the "Please send me prompts" part that is usually in there to the way that unrelated fics are smashed together.

It's not against the rules, but it's a crappy use of AO3 befitting of n00bs.

Sadly, old hands at AO3 also make shitty works that are unrelated stories mashed together. They're often a whole set of kinktober fics or something where the trope tags and the ship tags are accurate, but you can't tell which ones go with which ones without searching the whole fic.

We regularly complain about that on here.

--

A much better way to use AO3 is to make a series titled "My x Reader Oneshots" or "All of my kinktober fics" where each separate story is its own work with its own tags.

My assumption is that this person is using the inaccurate tag both to get more eyeballs on their existing work and because they probably take prompts for that ship or something. (I'm basing this on the kinds of things people say on their oneshot books on Wattpad. Maybe they don't actually take prompts since you haven't mentioned it.)

Some people just don't care that they're annoying others and messing up the tags, but I think some actually don't realize how AO3 filtering works and have no idea this behavior is a nuisance.

On a lot of sites, both Wattpad and algorithm-driven social media, unless a post/work is very popular, it disappears out of sight. Even an inaccurate tag doesn't do that much.

On AO3, one is getting a full list of everything with the tag, going back however far. It's a library catalogue for which you should use accurate data. But this writer is probably thinking of tags more as advertising and a way to get their name out there so readers can follow them pre-emptively. They mean to write the ship in the future, so it's not really inaccurate... (And, tbh, if it were a single work and the ship just hadn't appeared yet, I would agree with them even though those are frustrating too.)

--

So no, they should not do this.

But it's not actually against the rules.

I would mute the annoying people who do this.

[technicianlearner]

Kirbtober 2023 Day 24: AU

i love accidentally posting this on the AU blog instead of my main F^CK

"Yesterday, Kirby made this machine that was supposedly able to bring us to Civis Cosmosis without the help of Elfilin or the Lor Starcutter... He did leave us a way to access the machine and enter the exact coordinates to pick him up, since he's scared that it would fail and cause him to get trapped to wherever he got sent in... And since he's been missing for a few hours and not coming back, we assumed he got lost, and we managed to enter the place... but apparently we found ourselves in a world familiar to ours, and it looks like Popstar years later after our escapades... I heard Kirby here became a king from the pedestrians living there, which is weird... but we keep trying to find our Kirby, until we bump into this strange knight. He looks a lot like me, but with a different armor and looking pretty somber and intimidating, and for some reason, I feel a weird gut feeling that he looks the way he is because of something tragic... ...not going to lie, from the looks of it, he seems to have gotten himself in a messy situation before. I have a feeling that this is related to his Kirby somehow and I don't know why. ...is this what I'll probably act like if I didn't stop him during...?!"

Prompts by @paintpanic and @peachsupremeart Fused list compiled by @desultory-novice (click here for the list!) Nextgen AU created by @itsquakey

HOLY F^CK FUTURE CONTENT + LORE????? IN A KIRBTOBER ENTRY??? AND A CROSSOVER???? WOW??? WHAT'S GOING ON???

Well, I haven't revealed this yet, but by the time of Season 3 (aka the future version of the kiddos, you can see their design here), Bandana is considering the career choice of being a knight. Well, guess which AU also has Bandana as a knight, and also angsty?

...okay maybe not that angsty but Quakey did have an sorta ongoing comic that seems to rear into that category so uh here's obligatory ad for that one

This was a continuation of sorts to an old art trade I had with him, which I haven't posted - I wanted to save it for the next art trade compendium, where I post all my art trades at once (you can see the first and currently only one here)... and I wanted one more AU creator to trade on with me, so we can form the trilogy of "Tech tests an interdimensional travel gadget, gets lost, and finds himself in other universes where his career goes differently than expected" collection. Issue is... I haven't gotten time or space to figure out who I will trade with. There's so little AU creators that want to do so, I'm afraid... but ONE DAY!

Speaking of... what incident is at the final panel, and why is Bandana so terrified that he will be as somber as Pike Knight here? Well, it was the one time our beloved Kirby finally SNAPS due to something that he discovered. Apparently it got terrible to the point he killed someone, and the team barely could contain his rage... No wonder Bandana's so wary regarding Kirby, huh...?

It has been coded by the team as 'the incident'(TM), and remembering it gives everyone chills... But what incident is it anyway? we'll never know unless I somehow get to that point F^CKS SAKE LEARNER DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR DOO DOO AU

...I guess this is making Bandee reconsidering his potential job career... if this comic's even canon... i doubt it will be anyways since crossovers and stuff. i usually like keeping my stuff crossover-free

Here's the full, blurry version, down below:

[n0v4t33z]

Dark Desires: Chapter I - The Cat's Out of the Bag

Pairings: VampireCatHybrid~Seonghwa x Female Reader, VampireCatHybrid~Ateez x Female Reader

Genre: Horror, Angst, Romance, Vampire Ateez, Paranormal?

Word Count: 7.6k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Violence, Language, mentions blood, Magic, Fantasy, Some Fluff, Highly Suggestive at times (This is a warning for the whole story overall)

Chapter specific: kidnapping, non-sexual nudity, flirting, blood, lying?

Author's Note💌: Hi! So this is the first chapter of a story that I've been working on for a while, long ago when "The Black Cat Nero" first came out and since it's October I figured it would be nice for me to post I also just wanted to join the other fic writers posting a Halloween themed fic but since I cannot write smut for the life of me for Kinktober I decided to just post this instead. I haven't fully edited this story so I'm sorry if it's cringe in some parts but I'll try my best to fix those parts eventually. In the meantime I hope you guys like it! Please be kind! 🌙🐈‍⬛

Spotify Playlist 🩸

☽ ──── ༺𖤐༻ ──── ☾

On a chilly autumn night right after an exhausting shift at work, I close the store and bid goodbye to my co workers for the day. It was dark outside now and the sky was awfully empty tonight except for the moon, it wasn’t a full moon just yet but just as beautiful. So while walking to my bus stop, I come across a black cat with mesmerizing amethyst colored eyes. "Woah, I've never seen a purple eyed cat...hm that’s so weird. Is it maybe my eyes playing a trick on me?" I blink and slowly walk over to the cat and turn on the flashlight on my phone “Come here kitty are you hungry?” I look at the cat’s eyes and they were indeed a beautiful amethyst color. Wow, that’s so cool. It must be some sort of rare defect. The cat walks over to me purring and rubbing its tiny little head on me. I put down my phone on the ground gently pet its soft black fur while reaching into my purse with my other hand "You're so cute…Look, I’ve got a snack!"

I grab the Tupperware containing the leftover meat from lunch and set it in front of the cat so that it could eat. I happily watch the cat eat the meat in the small bowl while gently petting its tiny little head. Suddenly behind me I hear metal scraping on the floor and to my surprise I turn to see a man whose eyes are almost a dead like hue of greyish blue, with scratches on his chest and cheek area along with a huge bruise on his left cheek. He was wearing a velvet jacket and a black silk shirt exposing most of his chest and his ash brown hair was pulled up with a few hairs framing his pale lifeless face. Without saying anything he smirks raising the shovel above his head and before I'm able to scream he brings down the shovel and hits me behind the head making everything go black.

 I slowly open my eyes holding my head in my hands tightly only to feel a throbbing headache, when I look around I see I’m in some sort of abandoned church with 8 very handsome deathly pale guys looking straight at me with one of them being the same man from before with the shovel. I noticed that one of them had purple eyes, kind of like the same ones that stray cat that I fed on the street. Could it be that guy was the cat I saw? No. It can’t be. That’s physically impossible. When it finally dawns on me the severe situation I’m in I sit up and I scoot away from them sensing a bit of tension in the room "Wait. Who are you guys? Why am I here…" The man with the velvet jacket (Who was no longer wearing it) walks up to me and kneels on one knee and with his ice cold hand lifting up my chin and smirks in satisfaction "You my dear, are going to be working for us. So forget the life you had before because you have a new one here and it's to serve us." 

My bottom lip trembles and my eyes well up with tears, almost in an instant warm tears stream down my cheeks. The pale man in front of me wipes away my tears and says in a slight menacing tone "Don't cry, we're not going to hurt you. right guys?" Not believing a word he says I shake my head and begin to cry "No. Please, let me go….I swear I’ll do anything."  He chuckles while he strokes my cheek with his thumb "Will you?…" he clicks his tongue "Or are you just lying because you’re scared right now? Look at you, you’re shaking.." I glance down at my hands and notice they were in fact shaking. I feel kind of weak, I feel nauseous, I don't feel so good. "Let me introduce myself I'm Hongjoong, pleased to meet you Miss..." he raises his eyebrow waiting for an answer "I, uh- I'm y/n." I stammer causing him to smile "That's a beautiful name, well Miss y/n you are to address all 8 of us as your Masters at all times." He turns around and looks at one of the guys "Seonghwa, can you please get Miss y/n cleaned up and dressed. Out of everyone here I trust you won't try to pull anything stupid since you're the eldest here and are more in control of your erm...urges." A tall and slender man with hair a beautiful shade of silver, dressed all in black with a black velvet jacket and a long black satin cape, his eyes being that of a dark emerald green hue with a light golden ring around the pupil steps up next to me. He was beautiful, tall and unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. His demeanor seemed very cold with a very intimidating gaze but as soon as his eyes met mine they softened. "Come, let's get you cleaned up. Hongjoong left you so dirty."

He gently takes my trembling hand and leads me to a dark room and turns on the light and a few candles. He closes the door behind us and he walks over to the bathtub to run a bath then turns to me and warmly smiles "Your bath is ready, don't worry I'm not going to look I'll wait outside for a few minutes then I'll bring you some warm towels." I nod and wait until he was gone. Maybe if I cooperate they’ll let me go? Actually, something doesn’t feel right. The energy here feels wrong, something evil is here and I can feel it. 

I get in the warm bubbly bath and let out a deep sigh still shook up from the whole situation. I’m starting to feel homesick. I didn’t even get to tell my mom goodbye,  My eyes well up in tears again and I silently begin to cry. I miss home. I had no idea where I was much less know when I'd be able to see my family again. I hear a sudden knock at my door and see the beautiful man walk in with some towels and some folded up clothes he then lets out a small gasp and puts down the towels and clothes on the bench next to the bathtub he  sits down and reaches over and wipes my tears away "Sweetheart, don't cry. I know it's scary being put in a place you don't know with people you've never met but I promise they won't hurt you and if anyone tries to you let me know and I'll handle it." I sniffle "I just want to go home Master Seonghwa, I'm scared and I miss my family." He furrows his brows and gently strokes my hair "I'm sorry, but you can't leave my dear." My eyes glistened with tears "Why not?" He looks away then looks back at me with sadness in his eyes while he continues to stroke my hair trying not to meet my eyes "I just can't."

It was silent for a few minutes after that so after I calm down a bit I decided that in order to try and get rid of the awkward ambience I should at least try to get to know this man since he was being very friendly so far and not some weird perv gawking at me. So, in the middle of him washing my hair I ask "So, how long have you been alive?" He thinks for a bit while he rinses my hair "Hmm, about 400 years." I audibly gasp "Wait, what? 400 years?! That's a really long time you're a living history book!” he chuckles "Yeah I am, a very lonely one at that." I turn to him and furrow my brows "That can’t be..There must have been someone who must have caught your eye, you’re just so beautiful. Have you ever been in love? Or have a tiny little crush on someone?" He nods his head slightly sad then looks at me and forces a faint smile. "Somewhat, yes but enough of me. What about you Miss y/n?" I sigh and I look down "Yeah I was, it was the worst mistake I've ever done. He ended up cheating on me and eventually left me for his co worker. Almost 3 years of my life just wasted. It's been almost a year since that happened but I'm still kind of upset about it." He worriedly looks at me "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that situation, I'm sure one day you'll find love." I shake my head "I doubt it since I'm pretty sure I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life." He looks at me fondly for a good second and lets out a soft sigh "Well- ah...Um I'll let you finish washing up I'll be right back." he gets up and wipes his hands on a hand towel near the sink and closes the door behind him. That was weird, he just left so suddenly...

When I finish washing myself and drying myself I look through the pile he brought until I find some undergarments. When I finish putting them on I connect the long thigh high white socks to the garter and put on a long sleeve collared black and white knee length maid's dress. On the apron on the bottom right corner was a tiny black cat shaped stitch, and for shoes some black shoes to match. A few minutes later after finishing the beautiful emerald eyed vampire brushes my hair and helps me put on a white ruffled headpiece with 2 thin ribbon bows on each side. He hands me a set of keys and smiles "Now you can go about your chores. Don't worry about dinner for me and your Masters, we go out to feed when needed so just worry about keeping the house clean and doing the laundry. Also, don't ever go inside the white door with the black crest on it. That is strongly forbidden. So if you need me I'll be in my work office down the hall or in my room." I obediently nod "Yes Master." in return he gives me a warm smile and walks off.

 Later, while dusting off the picture frames on the main room of the house, I notice a painting of a very handsome looking man, judging from his clothing the painting must have been old though. Maybe? Was it someone’s family member or someone’s grandfather? I hear laughing coming from the corridor behind me and notice it was 2 of the guys from earlier one of them had a scar on his chest peeking out of his sheer patterned button up shirt, he was wearing black pants and black boots to match his jet black hair and the other one with the beautiful amethyst eyes, a piercing on his lip with his earring being connected his piercing, his buttoned up black vest covering some type of tattoo on his chest but letting his pale muscular arms in full view. Along with black leather pants and black boots to match his beautiful Raven hair. Looking at them in better lighting and up close, as handsome as they looked it looked like they haven’t slept in years, their eyes looking really bloodshot.

Immediately after making eye contact with me they both walk over to me, I notice this and I stop what I'm doing and stiffly bow "Hello Masters… I- Umm I'm sorry but I was never told your names." The one with the purple eyes smirks then reaches over and takes my hand, places his ice cold lips on the back of it and gently places a kiss on it. He looks up at me and says "My name is San, you were the beautiful girl who stopped to feed me. You know, if Hongjoong hadn't kidnapped you and brought you here I would have let you take me home." My face begins to feel really hot and involuntarily I let out a nervous laugh. The one with the scar on his chest shoots San with a very annoyed expression then he looks back at me with a small smile "I'm Wooyoung, it's nice meeting you." I nod then I give him a small wave "It's a pleasure meeting you both Master San and Master Wooyoung. If you guys need anything at all I'm here to help." San gently boops my nose and says in a low voice "Thank you Miss y/n we'll definitely keep that in mind." Both San and Wooyoung walk away presumably to their rooms but not before they take one last good look at me. Umm, I’m hoping they’re not eyeing me to take my blood or something.. Once they’re completely gone I let out a long sigh and rest my head on the wall. My god they’re so scary..I just wanna go home.

When I finish cleaning the main room, I walk over to the main corridor of the house and while walking by I hear singing coming from one of the rooms there. I have to find out who was the one singing. Suddenly, from a distance I see a tall man with bright ruby red eyes emerge from his room, he wore a sheer print button up shirt with a long silk blazer, black pants and slicked back light brown hair, he looked as if he had recently fed on blood. He also had a wound on his cheek and on the side of his temple. He looks at me with a very cold gaze that I immediately stop on my tracks and I bow "Master umm…." He quickly interjects "Mingi." Then I nod and forcefully smile. If I said I wasn't terrified of this man I'd be lying. He looked very handsome but he also looked lethal. He walks past me but before he could walk away very far I muster up the courage to say "It was a pleasure meeting you Master Mingi, please have a good rest of your day." He proceeds to walk away without saying another word. After he walks far enough I let out a sigh of relief.

Luckily, the hauntingly beautiful singing continues and as I walk closer it gets louder until I'm led to a door with a single golden music note on it. As soon as I step in front of the door the singing stops and I silently gasp and before I'm able to react and run away the door swings open to find a tall strong build guy with light blue eyes, Auburn hair with a really expensive looking suit. "I-I uh…. I'm so sorry but your singing was beautiful. I've never in my life have heard such beautiful singing in person." He warmly smiles and takes my hand and sits me down on the piano bench and without another work he just begins to sing a hauntingly beautiful tune. Mesmerized, I stare at the man before me singing at an incredible range. When he's done I happily clap and smile "That was beautiful Master, um… You never introduced yourself so I have yet to know your name." He slowly walks over to me until he stands in front of me and kneels down to my level. "My name is Jongho, but you may call me Master Jongho if you’d like.." he smiles and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear "Well, it's nice to meet you Master Jongho you have a beautiful voice. I’m y/n." He sits next to me and and turns to me "Thank you, and you're beautiful yourself." I nervously fidget with my hands "So Master Jongho, how'd you learn to sing so beautifully?" He looks up at the ceiling as if he was trying to recall his answer “Hm, I've always wanted to sing but as a human I just never got around to doing it from all the work I’d have to do to help my mother out. So when I turned into this, I had alot more time on my hands so In all honesty. It actually only took me a few years to achieve my goal with constant practice. Seeing as you're here now though I'll be able to sing to someone again since you enjoy my singing."

He gently takes my hand in his and deeply looks into my eyes "Feeling your humanly warmth makes me miss being alive. I died and was turned into this pretty young when I was around 20 human years old." I quietly gasp "Oh I'm so sorry Master Jongho, if it means anything as long as I'm alive I'll always cheer you on even though I don't know you very well I can still tell you have a big heart." He chuckles and holds both of my hands "Do you promise?" I nod and gently squeeze his ice cold hands "Of course Master, I've got no reason to lie." we both exchange warm smiles until I decide that maybe I should go. I'm probably distracting him, more or so he's probably getting hungry... I get up and lower my head "I’m so sorry Master, I have to go now. I don't want to interfere with your practice time but if you need anything at all please let me know." He gives me a soft smile “There’s no need, but I see you might be very busy with house work my apologies Miss y/n.” He waves goodbye “If you have a question don’t hesitate to look for me I’ll gladly help.”  I nod and slowly close the door behind me. Wow, he was so nice! His singing is as sweet as his personality. Wait, I just hope it’s genuine kindness and not the manipulative kind so that they can feed on my blood.. I’m still so uncomfortable here knowing that they can easily turn me into an appetizer. Actually, no I don’t even want to think about it.

 After leaving Jongho's practice room, I walk around downstairs until I come across the same chapel from when I arrived. After entering, I realize how dusty this place really is. so I decide to run to the kitchen and retrieve cleaning supplies. When I get back to the chapel I noticed a tall black hooded figure hunched over the altar, I slowly walk over to the figure and assuming it was another one of my masters I stand behind him and say "Master, are you ok?" Surprised, he turns and looks at me with his dead looking grey eyes and covers his arm with his cape as if hiding something. He silently nods keeping his gaze away from mine. In the distance I see a beautiful blonde man wearing a black and white patterned blazer with a black v neck t shirt with a distinctive small red neck scarf. He was holding a wine glass filled with presumably blood because of the viscosity of the liquid while sitting on the window sill of the circular stained glass window.

After seeing me, he slowly sets down his glass and turns into a cat right before my eyes. Wha- this is most definitely not normal. He jumps down and turns back into his previous form then says "Hello Miss y/n what brings you in here?" Still shocked from having seen a man just turn into a cat and then back to a man, I stammer a bit and say "Well, I saw that the chapel here was a bit dusty and dirty and I wanted to clean it up for you guys." He nods "Oh, thank you Miss y/n. By the way I'm Yeosang and this tall guy over here is Yunho." I bow giving them both a curt smile "it's nice to meet you Master Yeosang and Master Yunho." Yunho stands up and extends his hand in my direction causing me to look up at him and smile "I love your cape Master Yunho, it fits you well." I shake his hand and he smiles "Thank you so much Miss y/n. I can help you clean up the chapel, I'd feel terrible if you had to clean all of this by yourself, it'd take you hours to finish here." I shake my head "Oh no Master that's why I'm here to clean, you don't have to worry about it. I've got it." He shakes his head firmly and gently pats my head "No, I insist." He takes off his cape and Yeosang sits down on one of the pews and makes his glass of blood appear in his hand with a book in his other hand "I'll watch you guys, I'm exhausted." I turn to him with a playful smile "Let us know if we did a good job Master Yeosang." He chuckles and raises his glass "Of course sweetheart."

A couple of hours pass until eventually Yunho and I finish cleaning up the chapel and we both sit down on a pew next to Yeosang. "So how'd we do?" I look over excitedly at Yeosang who looks around slowly "Hm, It looks so nice, It's been years since I've seen this place look this clean." Yeosang glances over at Yunho and says "Also, I didn't know you cleaned up so well, maybe you should do it more often?" Yunho gives Yeosang a look and shakes his head "No, I'm going to be cleaning up after you." Yeosang pouts and says "Hmm, fine I'm sure y/n here would help me with that right?" Yeosang looks over at me with a pleading gaze causing me to laugh and nod "Of course Master Yeosang." Yeosang swirls the blood in his glass and gives me a faint smile "Care to join us for drinks?" Woah, what? He's offering me a drink? What does he mean by "drinks"? Does he mean alcohol or actual blood? The bile of my empty stomach slightly rises causing me to get a bit nauseous.

I think it is now my queue to leave.. I get up and gather up the cleaning supplies "Oh, actualy thank you for offering but I have to go now. it was nice meeting you Masters Yeosang and Yunho. I'll let you guys enjoy the clean chapel now! Master Jongho is probably waiting for me to bring him his tea.." Yeosang tilts his head and blinks "But Jongho never drinks tea.." Yunho, Yoesang and I stare at each other for a few moments then I swallow the big ass knot in my throat triggering my stomach to grumble "My apologies, tea for myself not Master Jongho. I'm just a bit hungry now which is why I'm not making any sense since I feel a bit weak." Yunho's eyebrows draw together and reaches over to get the supplies from my hands "Oh no, do you need help?" I shake my head "I'm okay, with a bit of food I'll feel much better. Now, If you may excuse me I'll get going now." I give them a small smile and chime "I also hope you guys enjoy your new clean space I'm sure it makes a huge difference, let me know if any of you need anything else." I slightly bow my head, Yeosang raises his glass slightly to acknowledge me. Meanwhile Yunho waves goodbye and says “We most definitely will you don’t need to worry Miss y/n.”

I close the chapel door behind me and I sit on the floor exhausted. Man, I'm beat.. I wonder how long it's been since that chapel was last cleaned? I'm almost positive it's been more than fifty years. While I sit there motionless trying to regain a bit of strength to head over to the kitchen I recollect Yunho hiding something in his cape when I entered. I wonder what he could be hiding. Seonghwa happens to pass by and sees me sitting on the ground. He walks over to me "Miss y/n are you ok? Why are you on the floor?" I quickly get up "Oh, I'm sorry Master Seonghwa. I'm really tired I just finished cleaning the chapel, Master Yunho insisted on helping me too but it was still alot of work." Seonghwa reaches over and pats my head "I'm sure you did an amazing job. I was actually just looking for you, did you meet all of your Masters?" I nod while I fidget with my hands "Yes but out of all of them I think Master Mingi doesn't really like me. Like at all." He gently strokes my cheek with his ice cold finger "Give him time Miss y/n, it takes a while for him to warm up to others you did nothing wrong I promise." He checks his pocket watch then looks back at me "I'll tuck you in to bed before we all head out to feed okay?" I give him a slightly confused look "You'll what? Oh, no Master there's no need for you to tuck me in, I'm a grown woman I can do it myself I'm not a child." I nervously laugh which causes him to chuckle "You're right, I just want to make sure you'll actually be asleep when we leave." I raise my eyebrows in slight worry "Why is that?" He presses his lips into a kind smile with the corner of his eyes slightly crinkled "I feel like a human like you should never have to witness a vampire feeding, it's not very pretty. In fact it's something I always tend to do in private because of how gruesome it can be to those who've never witnessed it." My stomach flips causing my nausea to come back "Oh.." He gently cups my cheeks and gently squeezes them "You're so cute. but please don't worry you'll be okay I promise you no one will hurt you. This is more just so you can have the peace of mind of not witnessing anything you shouldn't." Something tells me I really should just listen to him and stop doubting it. "I'll see you later then okay?" I quietly nod and he gently runs his fingers through a lock of my hair and walks away leaving me in slight shock. Yeah, maybe I should do what he tells me to even though a part of me is panicking making me think he actually wants me to sleep so I can be his next meal. He's probably just testing me if i listen or not.. Gosh my brain isn't making sense, I need food.

I pick up the cleaning supplies and head to the kitchen, I put up the supplies, wash my hands. and walk towards the refrigerator "I'm starving, I wonder if there's food here." I open the refrigerator and pantry, and to my surprise there were fresh groceries and meat. Weird. I thought they didn’t eat human food? So how did these get here? I shrug and go on and prepare some dinner for myself then Master San, struts into the kitchen sits on the counter next to me and meows. I glance over at him and pet him playing with him for a bit until he begins to purr "Ahh, I know what you want…You want some meat don't you?" He meows and turns into his regular form, he sits on the counter and looks at me and smirks I then look over at him and say "Let me finish cooking the meat, I don't want you to get sick." Luckily San sits there patiently waitng for me to finish until eventually I finish cooking the meat then I go to the fridge, cut open a small bag of blood and generously coat the meat in the blood. I plate the meat with some rice for San and I put it on the table "Here you go Master San I slightly fixed this dish to fit your tastes" I sit down next to him with my own plate of food. He takes a bite out of the meat and throws his head back closing his eyes in pure bliss "Miss y/n this is delicious! Can I eat with you from now on?" I take a bite out of my food and nod "Sure you can if you want to  but I thought vampires couldn't eat human food?" He shakes his head while shoveling meat and some rice in his mouth, he sits there chewing for a few seconds until he finally speaks "Well, we can actually it's just that human food won't benefit us at all and won't satisfy the hunger that blood does. Vampire hunger is much different and painful than human hunger."

A disembodied voice interrupts San and I slightly making me jump from how sudden it was "I'm sorry but I smelled something really good, I'm still not used to someone actually cooking in here it's been ages since I've eaten actual food" Shortly after Wooyoung walks into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. San motions Wooyoung to come over and says "Here try this, Miss y/n is a genius this is delicious I don't know why we never tried this." he shovels rice and some of the meat coated in blood into Wooyoung's mouth, while chewing his eyebrows raise forming a surprised expression on his face then he turns to me in awe "Wow, that's actually pretty good… Can I please have a plate?" I nod and get up from my seat "Oh of course Master, sit down I'll bring it to you in a few seconds" I prepare a plate for Wooyoung but before I sit down I turn to San and say "Would you like seconds Master?" He nods and gives me a smile so big his eyes turn into little crescents, then I prepare him another bowl and set it down in front of him. With the leftover blood still in the bags I use them to make an earl grey tea infused with blood, I set down the tea cups next to their plates while they devour their food. I set the tea kettle in the middle of the table then I sit down and eat. "So when we found you that night, where were you coming from that you had yummy food with you?" San asks nonchalantly, Wooyoung glares at San and shakes his head then apologetically looks over at me "You don't have to answer that." I shake my head and smile "Nah, it's okay. I was just walking home from work is all." San blinks "Wow, that reminds me I haven't worked in years.." Wooyoung nods "Yeah me either, the last time I worked was when we'd get paid in grain." I gasp "No way you're that old.." He smirks "I am, and proud of it." San smacks Wooyoung's arm "Stop rubbing your immortality in Miss y/n's face that's rude" I giggle and shake my head "It's okay Master San, I actually find it pretty cool you guys have been alive all these years. If it's okay for me to ask, what was your former jobs like?" Wooyoung looks at the wall behind for a few seconds presumably to try and recall his past until he responds "My father was a merchant, I helped him load up our carts and stuff like that to and from the markets. It was pretty heavy work but nonetheless I enjoyed it because I got to spend time with my father." My eyebrows rise "Woah, that's definitely hard work but I'm glad it was hard work with someone whom you cherish that makes it much more worth it." Wooyoung nods with a slight smile "Yeah, I helped him till the very end, same with my mother. I helped my whole family until they were gone." I reach over and gently pat Wooyoung's shoulder "I'm sorry, outliving your own family must have been extremely sad." San glances at Wooyoung gently squeezing the back of his neck and slightly frowns "It is, it's one of the most painful things of being a vampire. It really messes you up for a while." I look at both San and Wooyoung and give them a comforting smile "I know maybe this is weird considering my days are numbered as a human but just know your family is probably happy knowing you're living your life well. Maybe in a very unorthodox way but none the less you're keeping their memories alive." Both San and Wooyoung glance at each other and look down at the table.

Did I say something wrong? "My apologies, for the unwanted advice." Wooyoung shakes his head and smiles "No need, we just remembered something is all." There's something they aren't telling me. "Oh, okay." I awkwardly look at the window behind them and take a sip of my tea "What about you San, what was your job?" San smiles "Guess." I tap my index finger on my chin and look at his physique. Considering how broad his shoulders are and how toned his body is, he probably did some sort of manual labor as well or maybe that could have also been his vampire power up. "Miss y/n?" I hum and look in San's general direction "I was thinking sorry, but I think I have a pretty good idea. You were probably a lumberjack right?" Wooyoung's eyebrows rise in amusement and he reaches over and pats San's back "It's those shoulders isn't it?" I nod and nervously smile "Ah, yeah..." San plays with the piercing on his lip with his tongue then looks into my eyes and smirks "Close, I was actually the son of a farmer so my family owned a farm. Funnily enough I didn't look anything like this when I was alive. These muscles are a product of what I turned into, unfortunately I was always very small so I was always in charge of feeding the animals with my sister while my father and his other employees did the heavier stuff. " I swallow hard and look at the tea kettle in front of us "Oh I see, do you at least have fond memories of your old self?" San nods "Of course, my old self was me as I was meant to live my human life and this version of myself is I, as I meant to live it as a vampire." Wow, he's very confident and wise, I guess he really doesn't mind being a vampire. "It's like you guys get a second chance at life, does that mean you fully embrace being undead?."

Wooyoung slightly frowns "I can't speak for the others but, it's kind of complicated. Like with everything in life it comes with its downsides. Unfortunately this life is a bit more brutal than our previous lives were. which kind of makes us miss our mortality sometimes." Hm, I don't want to bring up memories they're trying to bury besides I don't want them to think I'm being nosy. I look at their empty plates and get up causing a wave of confusion between them both. Almost like they knew what I was thinking San says "Thank you so much for the food and tea Miss y/n it was delicious." I warmly smile and begin to pick up their dishes "Of course you're very welcome Master San and Master Wooyoung, it was nice being able to sit down and have a conversation with you two." They both wave goodbye and before they exit the kitchen San turns to me "Miss y/n I'll see you tomorrow again right?" I hum queueing them to make their way out of the kitchen.

A while later while cleaning up the kitchen I hear footsteps approaching and I slightly tense up until I hear the footsteps come to a halt. I turn around and see Mingi, I quickly bow and say "Master Mingi, hello do you need anything?" He nods and hands me a basket full of bloodied clothes "This is my laundry, just came to drop this off for you." I walk over to him and take the basket from his arms "Thank you Master, I'll have this clean in no time." He turns and walks away without saying a word, I then sigh. I can't force someone to like me, so I might as well just deal with it at least everyone else is ok with me being here so far. I walk over to the laundry room and set down the basket of laundry, sorting though all of the clothes making sure none of them are left without spot cleaning. So a few hours later of scrubbing bloodied clothes, and drying it in an actual dryer as opposed to air-dried Mingi's laundry is finally finished. So when I walk over to his room and I knock on the door with no answer.  Something in my gut told me he wasn't in his room so I decide to knock again, but again no answer. I slowly open the door and see that no one is in there. Oh no.

I quietly close the door behind me and I set the basket on his bed, his room is filled with alot of displayed weapons from different times in history from the medieval "Morning Star" to the 1920's "Tommy Gun" I silently gasp and whisper to myself "He is lethal...who is he? Who are these vampire guys." I look behind me towards the door "I better get out of here before he comes back." I run out of the room and down the corridor while I look behind me to make sure no one saw. Everything seems like it's going okay until I run into Hongjoong causing him to grab me by both my arms tightly "Miss y/n, there you are. Seonghwa is looking for you."  His bloodshot dead grey eyes look down at me "Master Hongjoong I'm so sorry, I just got startled by something I'm so sorry." He cocks an eyebrow and slowly a huge smirk appears on his face clearly getting a kick out of my panic "You better not be causing trouble sweetheart, I don't want to end up having to punish you." I quickly shake my head "No, I promise I'm being good Master Hongjoong." He grabs my arm and walks me over to Seonghwa who was already waiting for me in the bathroom "Seonghwa, I found her." He meets my eyes and smiles "Hello there Miss y/n, time for me to get you ready for bed and tuck you in." This is so embarrassing, is there really a reason for this? Does he really have to keep an eye on me that close? Haven't I proven myself yet?

 Once Seonghwa gets the bath ready and leaves to get some towels and clothes I get in the warm bath making my mind begin to wander. All of those weapons. Are they planning on killing me? Is they why everyone just acts kind of weird? I mean, I know they're all vampires but what's with the tucking me in thing? Gosh, I wish I could be at home. None of this makes sense as to why I'm here, why does Master Seonghwa insist on me being asleep before they leave. My thoughts are interrupted by Seonghwa walking in with the towels and clothes, he sits down on the bench next to the bathtub "Miss y/n did you start washing your hair?" I quietly shake my head too scared to speak up, he then furrows his brows then puts the back of his ice cold hand on my forehead "What's wrong? Are you ok? You've been quiet since Hongjoong brought you to me."  I nod and faintly say "I'm fine, just tired." He rolls his sleeves and proceeds to wash my hair "You must have worked very hard on your first day today, let's get you cleaned up so you can get some rest." He then rinses my hair and smiles "I hope this can cheer you up but, Jongho told me you discovered his beautiful singing and that you couldn't get enough of it. So, we decided he was going to help me tuck you into bed." I look up at Seonghwa, his beautiful smile, his gorgeous slicked back silver hair with a few stray hairs that fell ever so slightly over his eyes. He's so gorgeous he makes me feel so nervous. His emerald and gold eyes look for a reaction written somewhere along my face, so he fondly and intently stares back at me. I was so fixated on his hauntingly gorgeous features I almost forgot I wasn't looking at a photo of him until I quickly snap back to reality "Wait, he's going to sing?" Seonghwa smiles "Yes, he is." I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands "Are you sure he's okay with that? Wouldn't it be a bother?" He shakes his head "I promise you it's not a bother he insisted." He reassures me, he then absentmindedly begins to wash my body, his ice cold hands touch my warm skin and I shiver. I shyly look up at him he and he gasps.

"I'm so sorry I forgot how cold my hands are, my apologies if it made you uncomfortable. I'll wait outside for a few minutes so you can finish bathing and changing" he gets up and scoots the towel closer to the bathtub, once he leaves I finish bathing and drying off. I slip on my soft nightgown, it was a nice shade of pale pink almost white and it fit me perfectly. I put on some slippers then I hear whispering outside of the door. Hmm, this should be good. I slowly walk over to the door to take a listen, from the sound of it it's Hongjoong and Seonghwa. I undo a couple of buttons on my nightgown for a cover in case anyone opens the door. "No, I already told you we need more time, it's too soon. She hasn't even been here one night."  Says Seonghwa in a low whispering tone "Do you know how impatient Draven is getting?! Seonghwa please don't tell me you're already attached to this girl? How is she any different from the girls before her?" Hongjoong adds slightly irritated "I told you, it’s her and all I know is that we need more time, stop talking about this here...I’ll tell you later."

As soon as the talking stops I tip toe closer to the bathtub then seconds later the door opens and I start to button up the undone buttons from my nightgown. I see Seonghwa carefully peaking into the bathroom "Done?" I hum running my fingers through my wet hair "Alright, now let's get you tucked in." Seonghwa walks me to a room with a sigil on the door, I noticed the same sigil under the bed only that it was big that it slightly peeks out out over the edges of the bed. "This is your room, get yourself comfortable, I'll go get Jongho." I climb onto the bed and surprisingly it was very comfortable. I get under the fluffy pink covers and remember that many girls have probably been here before me then I feel a pit in my stomach begin to grow and I begin to feel a bit uneasy knowing this is a literal death bed.

Seonghwa and Jongho come in and close the door behind them, now that I think about it 2 vampires and 1 girl in the same room doesn't sound very safe. Jongho pulls up the chair next to the bed while Seonghwa sits at the edge of the bed then Jongho says "Hi Miss y/n, I'm going to sing some songs for you." I lay down and they briefly look at each other then Jongho begins to sing, the song was so eerily beautiful that by the 2nd song I slowly started drifting off to sleep. Today was so exhausting and my body really felt it. Eventually I fall asleep, but unfortunately a really loud thump wakes me up and I lay there in bed trying to process if what I heard was a dream or if it was real. Deeming it something from my sleep I ignore it then half asleep my mind begins to wander. Why on Earth am I being treated like a child? A grown ass woman getting a bath and getting tucked in to bed from a 400 year old handsome vampire guy? Not to mention he picks out my clothes and my undergarments too? And what did they mean when Seonghwa said they needed more time? MIngi’s room was a whole weapon museum, what? This was too much, it was all a bit weird.

A blood curdling scream interrupts my thoughts causing me to quickly shoot up from the bed. In almost an instant my palms become sweaty, so I get up and I try to open the door but it's locked. My breathing quickens while I try to open the door again but it was in fact locked, I'm screwed. I hear footsteps quickly approaching so I quietly run back to the bed and lay back down.  A few seconds later I hear a click of the door being unlocked. I close my eyes and the footsteps come close to me then they sit down at the edge of the bed "I bought more time for us." Seonghwa gently rests his hand on my leg over the covers "Even at that, when we run out of time I won't let anyone hurt you. I've waited for you for hundreds of years, and I'm not going to let some greedy demon ruin the moment for me." He scoots over next to me and although I couldn't see him staring at me, I could feel it. He leans in and gently kisses the top of my head. I can't think, wait. What's going on?! I feel him get up from the bed followed by slow footsteps until the door closes once again and locking the door behind him. When I open my eyes and lay there in shock, I pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I realize now that this was far from a dream and as weird as it sounded to think that a very handsome 400 year old vampire was in love with me, it might actually be true. Somehow. 

☽ ──── ༺𖤐༻ ──── ☾

If you would like to be on the taglist DM me or leave a comment! 🌙

Tag List: @tunaasan @watermelon2319

I work super hard on these so please reblog! 🔁✨

Next Chapter

[little-peril-stories]

Blood Garnet - WIP Intro

it's a working title leave me alone

Aka: WIP Wednesday / Vaguely Summarized WIP / I'm Desperately Trying to Get This Dumb Story Out of My System

DISCLAIMER: this stupid story is a silly, self-indulgent mess that would require a lot of hard work to make it, um, fit for human consumption. It was my little brain break between finishing The Queen of Lies and restarting The Court of Rogues. It may not ever get finished. 🤷‍♀️ So, uh, you're forewarned. 😇

OPEN TAG for WIP Wednesday, Vaguely Summarized Plot, or both 😊- there's a lot of nonsense in here so I feel bad subjecting even more people to it 😂

Let's use this cheeky lil post for some recent WIP Wednesday tags: Thank you @kaylinalexanderbooks and @sleepywriter00 for the tags! Posts here and here (same post chain).

Rules: Pick a WIP. Post something about it. On a Wednesday. Or whenever! It can be literally anything! 😊 (It does NOT need to be extra as this😅.)

Mood Board

don't anyone say anything about how there isn't a single gemstone on this mood board

What's It About?

Take a drink every time you see an element Kate's used before in other stories. 😅

Evyn, a schoolteacher, impulsively embarks on a journey in an effort to escape the chokehold of her small village, overbearing uncle, and inevitable (and unwanted) fate as someone’s happy little wife. It’s risky, of course: wild animals roam the woods, and she still doesn’t know the source of the mysterious lights that gleam through the darkness at night. However, she gets more than she bargained for—the forest is not what it seems, nor are those mystical yellow lights.

The Fae, creatures of legend, are real.

And they’re coming for her.

Vaguely Summarized Plot

Also using up another tag here! Thank you @mysticstarlightduck for this one! Posts here and here. The tag is kind of perfect for this seeing as I don't know much of the plot myself, so I have no choice but to be vague. :)

Rules: Summarize your WIP in 15 2-5 word bullet points (as if you were trying to summarize it in 15 seconds). (I didn't stick to the limit at all.)

✨ “So the forest's been kind of glowing lately? And no one but me seems to have noticed? Ok. Coolcoolcool.”

✨ “Get married? Me? Never!” Evyn Edition: Simply Not Interested But I Must Be Lying Because All Women Want to Get Married, Amirite?

✨ “Get married? Me? Never!” Jonathan Edition: Very Not Straight But Try Telling That To My Religious Zealot of a Father

✨ Jealous twin will NOT let his sister win control of their clan like she wins everything else, damn it (footnote 1)

✨ Emo loner who can’t go home (on pain of death) just wants these weird dreams about some random-ass human to please STOP (footnote 2)

✨ “I’m going to pursue independence! In another town! On a time crunch! By walking through the woods! At night! I’m a schoolteacher with no survival experience! This Is A Good Idea!”

✨ Grumpy grandma re: pesky human: What is her deal?

✨ “Hello yes hi I’m the emo loner. I’m unrealistically attractive. I saved you for reasons I won’t explain. But also I don’t talk to humans. Or Fae, really. Or. Like. Anyone. Not often anyway. What’s talking again?”

✨ “So, like, you're kind of hot … but you’re, uh, my enemy?? But I haven't figured that out yet?? And also, do we, like, have weird sexual tension, haha, or is it just me? Hahahaha! … But seriously, do we?”

✨ "Hey I know you have breathing issues or whatever, so you don’t like dusty or dirty or humid places, but … wanna take a shortcut through this super duper cool underground cave system?”

✨ “Haha, what? No?! There’s no reason I’m avoiding this area of the forest! Nope! No reason at all!”

✨ YOU get a betrayal! And YOU get a betrayal! And YOU get a—

✨ “Who is the monster and who is the man?” (footnote 3)

✨ This asylum makes the one in TQOL look like a vacation! (footnote 4)

✨ Sexy villainess gets to emotionally torture one MC and then physically torture another. AND psychologically torture them both! Hell, maybe she’ll even kill one of ’em too! Fun for the whole family!

Footnotes

(1) IT’S NOTHING LIKE ZUKO AND AZULA SHUT UP

(2) IT’S NOTHING LIKE RHYSAND AND FEYRE SHUT UP

(3) IT’S NOTHING LIKE QUASIMODO AND FROLLO SHUT—oh who am I kidding 🎶

(4) Technically the whole asylum thing happened in this story first, like, 2 or 3 years ago. That version just lives in a purple notebook that will never be seen by any eyes but mine. So, really, TQOL stole the asylum setting from BG, not the other way around.

Character Vibes

Evyn, human, orphaned as a child and raised by her aunt and uncle. Now a schoolteacher who sees yellow lights no one else can see.

“My heart cannot be captured. I intend to die an old maid, surrounded by papers and books. Good afternoon!”

Jonathan, human. Evyn's cousin, a clerk. Just truckin' on through a life he finds endlessly tedious and unsatisfying.

“Cecil’s a soggy piece of tree bark in a hat,” he said before he could stop himself.

Ah, Jonathan Garnet. A man who gained a single speck of favour with his impossible-to-please father…and promptly hurled it into the wind.

Dharan, Fae. Exiled from his clan years ago for murdering another Fae.

The Fae leapt up, standing straight and bending his knees as if to run—or perhaps pounce. One hand hovered over the stolen knife on his belt; the other, he extended to her.

He looked away from his foe to meet her gaze, uttering a single word:

“Run.”

Rennith, Fae. Heir to his clan but competing for the title against his twin sister.

He was a man, it seemed, but those eyes bespoke something much more ancient—of man, but not man himself. Silver hair, an impossible shade, framed a face sculpted into sharp angles, as cold and pale as if it were made of ice.

A Fae creature forged in primordial fire, carved from gold, silver, and mother-of-pearl.

For the Whump People Here:

Whumpy Things I've Managed to Squeeze into the First 13,000 words

Humiliation/embarrassment (minor)

Hyperventilation, dyspnea

Angst (minor)

Grabbed in the dark

Abducted

Restrained (but make it magic)

Magically forced to obey commands

Chin grab

Whumpy Things I've Got Planned But Haven't Written

Angst (major)

Stabbed

Various fight-related injuries I won't know till I write them

Betrayed by someone you trust

Drugged/knocked out

Humiliation/embarrassment (major)

Imprisoned

Taunted by the antagonist

More magic restraints (but turn it up to eleven)

Tortured (but make it magic)

Desperation, hitting rock bottom

A death fakeout or two or three

If you made it this far, you deserve a medal. 🥇

[otherhearted-culture-is]

Hey hey! I'm kinda struggling to figure out my identity :,) can you help me?

I'm pretty sure I'm an alterhuman, I've always had a very strong connection to nature, especially animals. I think I'm animalhearted. As a kid, I absolutely adored dogs. I used to pretend to be one all the time. (My mom told me I once went three days straight insisting I wasn't a human 💀) like- that's gotta be a sign for something, right?

But you see, over time, I've kinda lost that like... Idk how to describe it. That connection? I still like dogs, just not as much. I don't pretend to be a dog anymore, and haven't in years. Without a pet dog, that connection just.. Faded

I've been doing quads for about half a year now, yk, just for fun. But as of like maybe 4 months ago I keep getting these weird like, idrk how to describe it. These like bursts of energy that feel almost like they're not me. I'm still in full control, but that's not coming from me. That probably doesn't make any sense, but yeah. I don't want to call them shifts cus I have absolutely no idea if that's what they are, and they're not super often.

I'm thinking I'm probably doghearted? But now I'm wondering if I'm a dog therian? Idk, I mean I like the dual souls thing, I feel like I have the soul of a dog along with my human one. But I'm having a hard time figuring out if I'm actually a therian or if it's just shifting disease, cus I haven't really experienced this my whole life, and it's only after doing research did I start questioning. I've never really had species dysphoria either. Idk, what do you think? It's probably just shifting disease right? How am I supposed to tell the difference between identifying with vs. as?

Thank you for reading <3

(Sorry this took a while to get to! If you already sorted this out on your own, feel free to ignore this answer.)

There's a few things to address here:

1. Some fluctuation in the intensity of a hearttype or kintype is normal. Though this is extreme fluctuation that also neatly coincides with outside factors, so that's probably not it, I feel it's still worth at least mentioning.

2. I hadn't heard of shifter's disease before I got this ask. It was difficult to find information on, but I did manage to find a definition and a couple of forum posts further detailing the phenomenon by asking around on Discord. I'm not a big fan of the name tbh. I know the comparison it's drawing, but it still feels like over-medicalizing it. But whatever, that's the existing name, so I'll use it. Anyway!

To check for this, I would suggest trying to keep your mind off both alterhumanity in general and your own potentially alterhuman experiences as much as possible for a while. Stop researching, don't spend time mulling over it, and step away from any alterhuman spaces you're active in. You should be able to deduce by whether or not your feelings persist through that whether or not it was shifter's disease.

3. Last but not least- how do you tell the difference between ID'ing with vs. ID'ing as? Ever a tricky one. Corv's otherhearted questioning quick guide has a section dedicated to exactly that question, so it will probably be helpful to you! (But yknow, probably wait about it.)

[that-one-anxious-mango]

Hi love your stories!! Do you have any more??

Summary: When a news outlet puts out some compromising pictures of Austin and his co-star, you could feel yourself wanting to crumble. And in your time of need you turn to four of the people who know you best.

Contents: Pretty good amount of angst. Sad and worried reader. Introduction of reader's friends. Mentions and insinuations of infidelity. Supportive friends. Eventual fluff toward end.

Pairing: Austin Butler x Black Reader.

A/N: Hello beautiful humans. I hope you're all doing well. I figured that we haven't had a good taste of angst yet with our lovely couple. So here's a sample of more to come. I hope you all enjoy. Side note: A debrief on the friend group will be posted separately for fun.

And thank you anon for your sweet message. This is dedicated to you :) Happy reading.

Much Love *hugs*

" Maybe this isn't what it looks like babes. They're probably just hanging out as friends." Your friend, Beatrice, reasoned from her spot on your couch trying her best to diffuse the impending situation.

A snort could be heard from the love seat across from her, " Yeah right. Fat chance. The proof is in the pudding. And by the looks of it, the main ingredient is deceit. I really don't know why we're even considering the latter." Alana, your other friend countered making sure to point feverishly at the images shown on the iPad you were holding.

" Because she loves him Alana and this is about the last thing you'd wanna hear about your boyfriend while he's thousands of miles away in a different country." Beatrice snapped not really liking how seemingly okay her friend appeared with just writing off their friend's relationship.

Alana went to raise a pointed figure but was stopped, " Alright guys let's take it down a couple notches. Okay? " Your bestfriend Phoebe proposed earning two nods and a begrudging whatever. " No one can be for sure what the context behind these pictures are. Let's just try and piece together what we're for sure we know." She said turning to look at you next to her.

Even between all their bickering and antics. You still hadn't let your eyes stray away from the pictures displaying on the screen. You felt sick at what you were seeing.

What were you seeing?

There were three pictures.

To the average person what it looked like was two people, ( possibly lovers or possibly friends) lying together on a blanket, on a beach, enjoying each other's company.

But to you what it looked like was, your boyfriend and his co-star whom you'd before caught mindlessly flirting with said boyfriend, lying both their sweaty half naked bodies together. Closely on the beach.

When you'd been out this afternoon taking Magnus for a walk around the block while you thought of different things to bake for Austin when he got home for a upcoming filming break. You'd gotten a text from your co-worker pretty much saying that she didn't know that you and Austin had split. And that she was here for you if you needed.

Laughing it off as a weird random idea, you replied telling her that not only were the two of you still together. But you were also doing quite well as a couple.

After that text you just continued to stroll along in slight uneasiness, until minutes later her text of the pictures came in and your heart dropped to the soles of your feet.

There they were.

Clear as day.

Soon after many friends, family members, and other nosy people that probably still shouldn't have your number began texting and rolling in with a thousand questions you just didn't have the answers to.

You could feel the tightness in your chest begin, and water sting your eyes.

You'd let Magnus finish his due diligence in peace before quickly ushering you both home.

Going to the kitchen pantry you grabbed Austin's jar of smooth peanut butter and Magnus's favorite treat toy filing it up to the brim. Once you set it down in front of him you'd figured it would keep the usually aware pup occupied while you slipped upstairs.

Your head felt oddly heavy and your chest was beginning to tighten as you made your way to your down the hallway.

Going into your bathroom to try and calm yourself down, you called the only four people that you knew could help you see the light at a seemingly long, dark and scary tunnel.

Your girls.

Phoebe Wesley, Beatrice Cortina, Alana Montgomery, and Alexandria Kross.

It took them all of two rings for them all to answer the conference call. They immediately began asking if you were alright and to know what was going. Unfortunately though, they weren't able to get much coherent information due to the sobbing that ensued from you.

You felt overwhelmed.

Frantically informing you that they were all on their way! You waited for a quick twenty minutes before Phoebe appeared at your home first, taking you into her arms and guiding you to sit on the long sofa. Not long after Beatrice joined, Alex notified you she had a work meeting and would be updated via Beatrice. And finally, came Alana who told you that'd she would have made it sooner but she'd stopped and got a bacon pizza with feta bread. 

One of your favorites.

But you weren't hungry.

And now that takes you to the current moment of madness, " Y/N did you talk to Austin last night? He didn't mention anything about him and Olivia going to the beach together? " Came a question.

You just shook your head still not completely in the moment.

" Not a thing. We talked about each other's day. He talked a little bit about some of the new prosthetics makeup he was going to be wearing now that they had started to shoot different scenes as older Elvis. I told him about the new book I had started and the incident with Magnus and the neighbor's yorkie. That was pretty much it." You uncomfortably recalled the phone call last night.

Everyday you and Austin made the effort and commitment to call and talk to each other about whatever for some time.

It was always around five pm your way in California and eleven am his all the way in Australia. So when you were telling him about how your day went, he was telling you what he had up with his.

" Well again let's not get into too deep." Beatrice reiterated, " Let's just take it a minute at a time. Okay."

A text could be seen popping in from Alex.

Kriss Kross Boss: I agree. Let us stay rational until we don't need to be..

You nodded.

From there they all went around the room one by one saying different things to reassure you of your situation.

Phoebe started first, " Y/N you know this man is absolutely crazy about you in the best way. I don't really believe that he would ever do something that would purposefully jeopardize his chances with you. I mean have you seen the way that man looks at you! It's..intense."

Beatrice nodded, " Yeah, like it gives Edward Cullen vibes minus the violence, manipulation, gaslighting, and overall icks." She clarified.

You grinned a little at her reference.

" I would have compared it more to like Phantom of the Opera tease. But I see you point." Alana pointed out playing with a eager Magnus.

Kriss Kross Boss: I could see that. The room continued to compare your relationship to famous fictional pairings until you heard a familiar ringing fill the room.

It was your phone.

And in that moment you knew it was Austin, and you knew you couldn't answer it.

Like something out of a movie the four of you stared around at each other. No one moved a inch. The air was unchanged.

Of course it had to be Alana though who broke the pregnant pause, " So...no one's gonna answer it? " She questioned looking between her friends and the buzzing device on the coffee table.

Barely above a whisper came from you ," I can't."

It was true. You didn't know how to face him at this exact moment of time.

If the mere mention of his name was enough to make you almost create a whole new ocean of tears to add to the world map.

Imagine what actually hearing his voice and speaking to him would do.

" So it's settled we just let it go to voicemail." Phoebe clapped allowing the buzzing noise to again become background noise in the room, " As we were saying..."

Once it stopped you felt a good five seconds of slight relief before it's started buzzing again

This time you felt your eyes water. You knew he was probably gonna call at least one more time after this one.

After that he more than likely would wait a bit and then start up with the texts asking where you were and how you were.

Sure enough after that buzz session ended another one ensued earning the same result as the last.

Nothing.

Finally after about seven minutes of Beatrice and Alana now beginning to butt-heads about theories pertaining to if he knew you knew yet, is when you seen the messages begin to flash across the screen over the course of the following thirty minutes.

Sweet Baboo: Hey love. Was just calling to talk to you about something.

Sweet Baboo: Call me when you get this baby.

Sweet Baboo:  Please.

Sweet Baboo: Y/N  I don't know if you're getting these but if you are baby please say something

Sweet Baboo: I love you.

Sweet Baboo: Y/N seriously I need to talk to you. Please don't ignore me.

Sweet Baboo: Just answer the phone sweetheart.

As soon as you finished reading the message his face flashed across your screen , only this time you reached only to suddenly stop your own self.

Noticing and watching, Beatrice asked , " You gonna pick it up, hun? I mean maybe it'll be good to just hear him out about what he might have to say. Maybe it's all a big misunderstanding." She encouraged.

" I agree." Chimed Phoebe, " I mean hey...it's Austin. I'm sure he's probably gonna sort this whole thing out. Like BB said, it's more than likely a big misunderstanding."

You nodded hearing both of their words and acknowledging them, but oddly their friendly support and optimism didn't ease the achy feeling you felt swirling around in your chest.

Instead you felt it amplify until you once again felt your eyes turn into mini sprinklers as you broke down in tears, " I-I *sniffle* I d-don't think I c-can do it." You nasally spoke out looking down at the picture of Austin's face across your screen causing you to cry all the harder.

It was of him laying on the backyard ground of his condo next to you. He was smiling really wide because had had just asked you to officially be his girlfriend to which you of course practically screeched a yes for all of the poor neighbors to hear. In the picture your newly promise ringed hand was cupping his face while he happily gazed at you. You guys had, had the best day!

He was so happy!

So, when did he stop being so happy to the point of going as far as cheating!

Your heart sped up at the " C " word entering your mind, but you quickly placed a hand on your chest in efforts to try and slow it down. I mean the two of you had talked about this. And he knew that this was a definite dealbreaker for you. So there was no way he'd take a risk like this...right?

You knew you were getting ahead of yourself.

But part of you started to feel even worse.

In the beginning you had feared this. Getting into a relationship with Austin, only for him after a while to come to his senses that him being with you, the normal quirky black girl, was a phase he now found himself out of. And then he would decide to leave you for someone who would usually be more his speed.

Someone like Olivia DeJonge.

You were unfortunately about to start the long list of comparing yourself to her in your head when your pity party was suddenly interrupted by Phoebe's loud gasp.

" Oh shit. Austin is calling me." Phoebe panicked looking down at her phone.

"Um...what should we do." Beatrice puzzled.

Kriss Kross Boss: I say answer it

Seeing this now you felt your heart strings pull. On one end, you felt like you didn't wanna hear his voice let alone what he had to say right now. But on the other hand, you felt you owed to him to hear what he had to say since before he'd never given you any reason to suspect cheating or doubt his honesty.

So you simply said, " Go head. Answer it. But put it on speaker."  While wiping away the tears from your overflooded cheeks.

" Are you sure?" Phoebe asked for confirmation holding the device.

Hesitant you nodded, " Yeah go head."

Nodding Phoebe answered putting the phone on the coffee table, " Hello? "

And then his voice filled the room, " H-hey Phoebe. How are ya' ?" He greeted. You could sense his nervousness even a ocean away through the phone. His words sounded rushed and a bit strained not the usual calm and collected tone you were used to.

He was stressing.

" Doin' alright Austin. Can't really complain....much. What do I owe the pleasure of this call? ."

" Oh..I..uh.Mmmm." He cleared his throat obviously trying to form the words, " I was.. uh.. calling you because I've been trying to reach Y/N for the last couple of hours and I haven't had any luck. I was wondering if you had talked to her at all today? "

Phoebe looked to you only to gain confirmation when you shook your head no, " Uh. Nope I actually haven't really talked to her since this morning after she told me about something with Magnus. I've been spending the day with Noah at home while he's here from deployment." She white lied.

And it was partially true. Her intention was in-fact to spend the day with her darling military captain hunk. But her friend was in need, and him being a army captain of all people, he understood that.

" Oh wow. Happy to hear that. I think I remember Y/N telling me he was coming home sometime soon.  Glad he's back safe." Austin congratulated.

" Yeah. It's only for two months but rather that than nothing so I'm grateful."

" Right, I completely understand. Wish I could come home and visit Y/N. " He sighed, " Man that girl just makes my entire world spin. I hate working away from her like this. Rather be home with her." He said.

You felt your cheeks heat.

Kriss Kross Boss: Hmm

" Hmm I see." Phoebe sounded looking over to you who'd instinctively grabbed the pillow next to you to clutch. " So Austin being yours and Y/N's friend. I have to ask while you're on the phone. Have you seen the pictures that the DailyMail put out of you and Olivia DeJonge today? Because I've got to tell you buddy, that they don't exactly look good." She prodded looking around the room at you all.

A tired groan escaped through the phone, " Yeah Phoebe, I have. And I've had my team working overtime to try and get a handle on this thing. Because it's everywhere in the media right now. And not a lick of it is true. All these cheating allegations and break up rumors couldn't be farther from the true. But I know you know that."

" I get that. I do. Things aren't always what they seem. But Austin I can't lie and say I wouldn't appreciate if you'd please give me some type of context to what's going on here. Because the amount of messages I've gotten in the last two hours from our other friends since this whole thing appeared is absolutely ridiculous." Phoebe furthered.

" Tell me about it, " He nervously laughed, " I've got people calling and texting me up the ass wanting to know what's going. Ashley actually called me about twenty minutes ago to chew me out. She's pretty upset with me like I imagine you might be unfortunately. But like I told her, nothing happened. The weather out here spiked, and we had to shut down filming due to heat hazards. So, some of the cast got together and thought it'd be nice if we all went to the beach. Which I thought was all fine and what not'. Until I got there and found out that everyone else had backed out last minute and only Olivia and I showed." 

Seemed reasonable enough to you.

Just then a text from Alana lit up your phone:

Mrs. Reynolds: Sounds fishy tbh

Kriss Kross Boss: Let's let him finish...but yeah little bit

" At that point I didn't just wanna be rude and leave her out there by herself, so we hung out a little bit. Got in the water. Laid around and talked awhile. And then we both left. Separately. The end." He finished making sure to put an emphasis on the last part.

Even though Phoebe said that she was by herself Austin knew she wasn't. Not only had he heard glasses slightly clinking in the back and the familiar whine of a puppy named Magnus, and what sounded like muffled bickering which he could guess was Alana and Beatrice.                              

He also knew his girlfriend's friends well enough to know that they wouldn't just let her be at home by herself during a time like this.

He could bet his bottom dollar that Beatrice, Alana, Alex, Phoebe, and his lady were all crowded right around the phone listening to his every word. And that's exactly what he needed. 

You to hear the truth.

And if this was the only way. So be it.

Phoebe hummed, " Sounds alright to me. Only.." She paused looking to you for silent conformation to which you nodded her forward, " I have to ask why you guys were like..kinda..super close laying on that towel together. Like you two looked quite comfy...like really comfy." Phoebe questioned looking to a Beatrice who threw up a thumbs up waiting to hear the reaction.

" Yeah about that. Olivia forgot to bring a towel with her and I had mine. She said she didn't wanna get sand in her hair and I tried to be a gentleman and offered for us to share. I just was trying to be nice is all. Was a bit awkward tell you the truth..." He trailed.

" Understandable." Phoebe concluded

"  Ask about the restaurant rumors." Alana whispered grabbing a disgruntled Magnus and setting him on her lap in efforts to quiet him.

" And finally...and I promise this is the last question. What's the deal with people saying they've seen you and Olivia out at restaurants looking rather friendly with each other recently. Couple late nights out there..." Phoebe inquried perring over to you as you slowly and quietly inhaled a tiny breath to hold.

" It's nothing to it. " Austin quickly affirmed, " Just two co-stars running lines with each other at times that worked for the both of us. Being with the schedule constantly moving around due to covid and whatever else its a get in where you fit in situation. ya' know. Most happen to be nights unfortunately. " He finished.

" Honestly..I-" He started but stopped short, contemplating if he should even say what he was about to. But fuck it she needed to know, " There.." He cleared his throat, " Had been a couple of times she tried to invite me back to her place. BUT I've always declined. Out of respect for not only myself and her. But especially out of the respect and love I have for my relationship with Y/N...I could never do that to her." He finished feeling like a huge weight had been lifted knowing everything was all out.

Your ears rang.

She'd done what? WTF.

Now you couldn't lie. The short amount of times Austin had brought you around the cast before he'd left you'd noticed Olivia's abnormally friendly behavior. But you hadn't ever thought it'd got that far. Because all in all you trusted Austin.

Your palms got hot as images flashed through your brain of Olivia brushing her hand against his, rubbing his forearm, she'd even slickly called him babe in the ' non-friendly ' manner a couple of times. But never did you think she'd go this low.

Just then your phone buzzed, 

Kriss Kross Boss: THAT HEIFER! How tf dare she! 

Mrs. Reynolds: THAT PART! DONT GET GOT BLONDIE

Phoebe cleared her throat, " Wow! I mean...man I get it! And honestly Austin....I believe what you're telling me is in-fact the truth. I just hate that this presents the way it does. It's not a good look on your part, and it certainly isn't a good look on Y/N's " She added & looked over to your expression.

You sat up pacing yourself.

He took a deep breath, " I know...I know. And that's why I've been trying to get ahold of her, but her phone keeps going straight to voicemail and my messages all still say delivered. So, that makes me think that she's already seen it. And it worries me because the last thing I wanna do is have her thinking that there's anyone other than her. I couldn't imagine my life without her at this point. That woman is just about one of the only things that makes me wanna get up in the morning. She's it for me. She's mine and I love her."

she's mine and I love her.

That's what he said.

He said that you're his and he loves you.

As stubborn as were, you couldn't help the warmth that filled your heart. It was like a million little embers setting off at once. Sure you guys said I love you to each other all the time. But it still never got old hearing him say it. Especially when you weren't 'technically' around.

Just then you seen your phone light up with texts for Alex, Alana, and Beatrice:

Kriss Kross Boss: PERIOD! IKDR! Look at that man all in love and junk!

Mother Bea: YOU GUYS THATS SO STINKING CUTE! I CAN'T

Mrs. Reynolds: *sighs* I agree. the fucker sounds genuine.

You looked to the other side of the couch to see Beatrice fighting off tears while Alana offered her a tissue with disgust plastered on her face.

You loved your friends.

You glanced over to Phoebe who held a somewhat content smile on her face looking at the group chat messages. Turning to you she mouthed a " Call him please." To which you nodded.

" Phoebe you still there?" Austin sounded making everyone snap out of their emotional moment and return their attention to the phone.

" Yeah, I'm still here. Was just reading something. But,uh, Like I said Austin. I really do think you sound sincere and I'm sure that with the right conversation so will Y/N , trust me." She motivated shooting you a wink.

Austin sighed, " Right. If I can get her on the phone." He pointed out.

" Well. I'll tell you what. I actually have to go do this thing for Noah so after we hang up why don't you try her again. Maybe you'll have better luck this time." Phoebe  coyly suggested motioning for you to pick up your phone and shoo you out the room.

Doing as you we're directed you skeptically picked up the phone slowly backing out the room toward the kitchen being quietly cheered on by your friends. It was all of forty-five seconds after Phoebe yelled to you that they hung up, that you're phone buzzed.

Staring at the screen you couldn't help how your thumb hesitated over the bright red button.

But you couldn't do that.

Not after what you'd just heard.

You owed it to yourself and him to pick up.

And in a split it second you quickly tapped the button answering.

It was sheer silent for a moment, nothing but small breathing could be heard until the voice came through the receiver, " Y/N. Baby you there? "

You took a deep breath, " Y-Yeah I'm here."

You heard the large sigh he let out of relief, " Hey, baby?" You could hear him trying to even out his breaths so he continue talking, " So, how much of it did you hear?" He questioned.

" Enough." You simply replied.

On the other end the man was running his hand down his face for the thousandth time it seemed trying to formulate words now that part of this burden had been lifted: The not speaking to you part. He now had to figure out how he was going to say all the things he wanted to say while fighting the urge to hop on a plane to be with you.

" Listen. Baby-" 

You cut him off, " You don't have to re-explain I pretty mu-"

" Yes. I do, though bec-" He tried countering but still you cut in.

 Aus I-" But he cut you of again putting on a more stern front this time.

" No baby. Wait a minute. I'm trying to say something that is super important to us both so I want you to listen to me. Can you hear me alright? "

" Yes, Austin ." You replied.

" You sure. Sweetheart cause you can't miss not even a syllable of what I'm about say." He solidified dropping the octave in his voice .

" Yes." You anticipated.

" Y/N. Baby. I love you. And I love you something serious. You are amazing and  mean more to me than I could have ever fathomed imaginable. And I'm so happy that you're mine." He started. You could few your cheeks starting to heat up.

" Words can't explain how sorry I am that I ever put you in a situation like this for you to feel embarrassed, but more importantly for you to question whether or not I love you and I'm faithful to what we're building."

" I made a promise to you when I gave you that ring that I hope to god is still on your finger. The promise that I love you and only you, baby. And it will only ever be you. Always, Forever, and Beyond." Austin continued. " You're it for me Y/N M/N L/N. Only you. And I want only you." He confessed.

By now your face for what seemed like the umpteenth time was damp again. But at least this time it was all for the right reasons. In your mind you now felt silly about the assumptions and idea that you had earlier. How could you think any of that after hearing this declaration.

" Did you get all that? " He asked while you carefully wiped tears for the corner of your eyes.

" Yeah I did." You sniffled.

" And do you believe all that? Truly believe it?" He furthered with a tinge of desperation that he was trying to mask. He needed you to know how he felt.

" Yes I do. I know that you love me." You affirmed putting more confidence in your voice.

Feeling as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders he said, " Good. Because like I told you before, I don't know many times I'll have to tell you I love you before you realize that I'm absolutely crazy about you and only you." Austin said running his fingers across the green pattern crotchet blanket that was laid across him.

About a month before he was set to move to Australia to start filming Elvis, you'd enlisted Beatrice to help teach you how to crotchet a blanket for Austin as a six month anniversary gift. And when it was time for him to pack for a small trip one weekend, you slipped it into his luggage for him to find later. And when he did, he couldn't erase the fuzzy and gooey feeling that consumed him.

Always thinking of me. He thought before bringing the item up to his nose to take whiff. He was beyond satisfied when the scent of mangos and vanilla entered his senses.

It smelled like you.

From there, Austin brought the blanket with him to Australia and pretty much slept with the thing almost every night. It was so special to him.

Nodding to yourself you replied, " Yeah I'm crazy about you too Austin. " You giggled knowing what you were about to say next would make him laugh, " You almost made me find a flight to Australia just to show you how CRAZY about you I really am." You tease thinking back to all of the more cooky musings you'd had when you believed that he may have been creeping around on you earlier.

Spoiler Alert: They weren't good...or legal.

Just as you thought would he did laugh running a hand down his face, " Oh man. I wouldn't have minded. Even if it would have meant seeing you set a blaze to half of the set." He said as a eerily scary imagine of you entered his mind.

You smiled" Nah. Never that. I'm not really a fire kind of girl. There are more effective methods than that. Plus no reason to punish everyone else working to feed their families. They may just have had to have found two new leads for the movie..that's all." You played with him. Austin laughed, " That's my girl. Always thinking of others." He commented, "But really. If you can have all of your work things fixed I'll arrange to have a jet come and get you out of LAX for you to come visit. All you need to do is give me the earliest convivence of when you can come, babe. And I'll take care of the rest. Because I really wanna see you." Austin explained already going to grab his laptop to start curating emails as he spoke.

You grumbled, " First off I'd love to come visit you so I'll see what I can push around. But secondly, you don't have to send a jet for me. I'm a big girl and I am more than capable of buying my own ticket to come see you." You cemented.

Austin smiled to himself, " I know you are, baby. But that doesn't mean that I can't do this for you."

" Austin I know b- " You began before being cut off, " But you're gonna let Daddy take care of this, alright. He messed something up and now he's fixing it. So pack your things up and when the time comes have your little pretty ass ready to take a prearranged flight, okay. " Austin voice husked now sporting a lower and sexier octave.

You could the trickles of something begin round yonder against the better judgement of your mind you from hearing his tone, " Okay." You peeped feeling every bit of feminism you had leak from your body.

Pathetic.

" Okay." He parroted back, " Now that we have that settled. How about you grab the journal, honey. So we can write all this down. " He suggested. You smiled.

Something unique about yours and Austin's relationship was the journal.

The journal was something that was used as a healthy relationship exercise. The two of you together would write down the triumphs and hiccups of your romance to be able to look back at for reference going forward as you both tried to always continue to better your relationship. Everything from recollections of your first meeting, to your first fight, and even some details of the first time you made love were written in it's pages.

For privacy reasons it stayed with you in a special place for when it was needed while Austin was away. Otherwise he was the usual keeper of the journal.

" Yeah we can do that." You said moving through the halls past your friends. Once you seen them you gave a thumbs up and motioned for them to put on a movie or something if they'd like before you proceeded upstairs to have a in-depth talk about everything from today with your man to put it all on paper. 

[kimbapisnotsushi]

sou !! hello !! this is also random and specific but i saw the datekou headcanon post and i was wondering. might you have any inarizaki road trip hcs?

i didn't until you asked me so LET'S GO

oh god you thought dateko was bad??? they were only stuck in the car for thirty minutes at MOST

(or something idk i haven't quite mapped out their geography yet but miyagi is a coastal prefecture and sendai isn't like SUPER far inland, so i'm just making assumptions out here)

but anyways. kurosu is driving obviously as much as he moans and groans about it

shoutout to the coaches btw they are CARRYING these headcanons

realistically i guess they'd road trip to another school for a training camp or like idk. maybe hot springs for some r&r bc inarizaki def has the budget for it but in my heart they road trip to suna's hometown during one of the breaks so suna can see his family <333

i guess it also kind of depends on WHERE in hyogo and aichi they are but we could get a solid 4-5 hours of driving if it was from, say, asago to tahara

kita makes a list of all the snacks everyone wants and rounds up aran, oomimi, and akagi to help him raid the market/convenience store like the old hunter-gatherer days

they end up with two massive tote bags of drinks, chips, cookies, and other miscellaneous snacks and one cooler for things like puddings and cakes and whatnot

oomimi sits shotgun because kurosu needed someone to help with directions and everyone else was on "make sure the miyas don't kill each other before we get there" duty

they all thought that kita was brilliant for making atsumu sit in the back and osamu up front because even tho they're separated the twins will NOT stop bickering and trying to throw random pieces of trash at each other. poor riseki gets caught in the crossfire the most often

they all converged to make one giant road trip playlist so you've got the weirdest mix of pop rock/bubblegum/k-pop/city pop, lofi, indie soft rock, show tunes and soundtracks, and more

(i named those genres with certain charas in mind so like. have fun figuring that out!)

nobody's willing to take a nap in fear of what the twins might do to each other when they're not looking

they play really stupid games like the alphabet-chain game and i spy and even try for a few rounds of truth or dare because, hey, there's nothing like being stuck in a car with your fellow teenagers for four hours to set the mood for emotionally vulnerable bonding time, right?

anyways. everyone learns that gin is afraid of heights and all sorts of horror movies, akagi would like to get his ears pierced some day, kosaku got rejected in middle school in front of his entire class and has refused to fall in love since, and suna takes pictures to capture the memory of a place he does not want to forget

(sorry i'm being emo about suna missing home again i'll stop)

kurosu is sweating BUCKETS in the front seat btw. "oh my god what do i do with this information am i supposed to talk to them i'm their TEACHER i'm supposed to guide them i do NOT get paid enough for this - "

a shame, really, considering inarizaki could definitely afford to give that man a raise

it's okay they get some really funny dares like daring gin to text his crush a totally random and weird question

(and thank god atsumu has his phone tucked away in his bag)

there's not a whole lot of dares they can do in the car tbh so they get really creative like daring osamu to eat this absolutely evil concoction of mixing tiramisu pudding into a bag of spicy chips and eating the whole thing

he does. nobody knows how he survived it

and then riseki dared both osamu AND atsumu to shut up and sit down and not even so much as GLANCE each other for the rest of the trip

this was at, like, the 1.5 hour mark btw

and okay he didn't say it EXACTLY like that because riseki is a sweet respectful underclassman but that WAS the closest to snapping he's ever gotten

they do stop occasionally here and there to get out and stretch their legs, but this makes their trip even longer bc it takes like thirty minutes each time to wrangle everyone and get them back in the van

also akagi is trying out his most terrible pickup lines. or antipickup lines. either one works

akagi: "are you lactose? because i can't tolerate you ;)" aran: "PLEASE, MAKE HIM STOP"

the only reason aran feels like he isn't completely suffering is because gin is sitting next to him and gin is kind of soothing like a cute pet would be. not that aran is thinking of gin as a pet nooooo ahahaha that would be weird

meanwhile gin is wondering why aran keeps trying to feed him crackers

they finally get to suna's hometown after being on the road for SIX AND A HALF HOURS

and while everyone is happy to be outside soaking up the sun and fresh air, they're all going to miss the bonding of being stuck in a van perhaps just a little bit

it's all right, they've got the return trip to look forward to

(made 100x worse when akagi busts out a drinking game and proclaims they should play with juice boxes, but that's a story for another time)

[aceoflights]

Alright, so, exactly one person said that I should do a long post about my thoughts on this scene. And that's literally all I needed. So, here I go, I guess. I'll try to be coherent.

This scene (and honestly Colin in this episode in general) really hit something deep in me as a queer person. I think it touched on something that I haven't seen a lot of media touch on in that way, but that I and a lot of other queer people have experienced

So, let's get into the scene, specifically Colin's reactions to everything.

I couldn't find gifs for everything I'm talking about, so here's the scene.

At first they're just talking about how cool Zava is and how much they admire him. And everything is fine. Until Richard calls Zava sexy, and Isaac's response is "Sounds a bit gay, bruv". And yeah, he's not saying "I hate gay people". But look at him and how he acts. He says it with a laugh. In a "you're being weird" way. Now, my point here is not to say that Isaac is homophobic. He is however referring to being gay as kinda weird, funny and almost a bit absurd. Y'know, the kind of jokes straight people make when they think there are only other straight people in the room. This is what closeted people live through every day.

I'm actually gonna put some tags from one of my other posts here. Because, yeah, exactly.

#I watched a few cishet reactions to the episode and #the way they Did Not understand the locker room scene #like that wasn't a funny 'joking with the gay guy' moment #that was a moment of 'we are all straight and the joke IS a gay guy' #like Colin is living in that liminal space of #okay maybe they aren't outright homophobic but they sure aren't openly accepting #and any change to that status quo may potentially make things Very Dangerous #so he just Isn't going to challenge that at all (@king-kal)

#stop acting like its all okay #this is exactly what makes it terrifying to come out #and what gaslights people into believing thier pain isn't real #because yes theres more blatant and explicit homophobia out there #but this does real damage too #and its fucking hard to know where youll be safe when the people around you give no indication that theyd accept anyone queer (@not-a-cheese-thief)

#however much they love him there has been absolutely nothing about them in relation to queer people that indicate they’d be #supportive and accepting #you really just never know which is partly why coming out is so terrifying (@theoneandonlypigeon)

Now, let's have a look at Colin. As soon as Issac says that, he has Colin's full attention. He turns his head, his eyes are on Isaac. And he looks kinda scared. Anticipating. He's listening intently.

When you're closeted, and the topic of queerness is mentioned, especially if someone who matters is around, like a friend, you pay attention. You pay attention to what they say, to how they react. To figure out what they think about queer people. What they would think about you if they knew. Would they treat you differently? Would they start to dislike you even? Or would they maybe be supporting?

As a closeted queer person you can never be sure if you're safe. As some of the tags above have pointed out, nobody is saying anything overtly homophobic here, but nobody is saying anything to indicate they would be supportive either. So really Colin doesn't have any more information about how they would react to him coming out than he did before.

Then Richard says "Well I'm gay". And everyone turns around to him and is like "huh?". Except for Colin. Colin doesn't turn around. He actually turns more forward. He tilted his head in Richards direction when he started talking. But when he finished his sentence Colin looked straight ahead. And imma be honest here, I'm not really that good at analysing facial expressions, and this might well be me overanalysing. But the way I'm reading what's going on here is the following. Colin actively faces forward to not seem that interested in Richards possible gayness. his eyes also widen and then tart around for a second. Which to me reads as, like, "wait, what? could there actually be another queer person on the team?".

I'm not gonna get into Richard actually being possibly gay. Here's a post about that, if you're interested. (Not saying that's what I believe necessarily, but I saw the post and felt it necessary to include)

Then, of course "for Zava". And Colin laughs. But holy shit it's such a fake laugh. Like, I'm serious, watch that scene again and pay attention to Colin's laugh. It it so fake.

While they're talking about "men with charisma that transcends orientation", nothing all that interesting happens.

And then, Colin's joke.

Immediately after he finishes his sentence, he looks anticipating again, in a slightly different way. A short moment of "should I not have said that? Could it give them a hint about me?". Then the others start to laugh and Colin smiles along. He's accomplished his mission. He's blending in. He's a chameleon.

[superseiso]

*Free ramble card.* Go nuts

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE YAPPING!

So in my au, It takes in vaguely modern times. Most of the characters are based off of Classical literature and fairy tales that I've read or grown up with. Our main character of this story is of course, Henry Jekyll. In this au, Henry got away with it his bullshit as Edward. He lived on and managed to live his double life in peace. Though things start to fall apart when his wife, Cereza (tempt name, I need to stop using this goddamn name for every character with a most red color pallet.) starts to notice some odd things about Edward and Henry. Like why the hell are they never in the same room together despite being business partners, things come to ahead when she starts snooping through his lab. She ends up finding some pretty damning notes so she goes to our boy Utterson to figure out the truth behind Carew's death. As most people think some random thug killed Carew since the maid who saw him in the original book wasn't there to witness. It also doesn't help as even more strange occurrences such as people disappearing after getting a strange disease, So it's a balancing act of Henry trying to figure out what the hell is going on while also trying to keep his double life a secret. It's mostly about exploring Henry's characters and his relationship with the character's around him.

Henry himself, I want to add aspects of himself from the book while also exploring some aspects from how Henry Jekyll is viewed in pop culture. While I completely understand the Jekyll and Hyde fandom's disdain for the whole split personality possession trope that most people who haven't read the actual novella attribute the character's too. (example, The glass scientist. No shade I actually do like the comics.) After all the whole point of the book is the fact Henry is just straight up a bad person who is capable of being good, I kinda want to experiment with a weird middle ground if that makes sense?

Maybe he get's better or maybe he gets worse. Once exam season is over, I'll start posting more about my au. Right now it's a little bare bones since uni is beating me harder then Edward hitting Carew with a cane.

But thank you so much for listening to my ramblings as soon as I get some more free time, I'm gonna start posting more art. <3

[purpurussy]

literally haven't eaten anything all day (it's gone 7pm) or been outside in several days or slept more than 4 hours/night in the last week so im probably just being insane for no reason atm but

i feel like I'm at a weird sort of crossroads with this blog?

when i made this account i saw it as kind of an experiment in vulnerability and positivity. i said i'm gonna try my best to post what's in my heart and not care whether it does numbers or not. if people like it they like it, if not that's okay because i like it and i'm having fun. and i'm gonna practise some kind of general radical positivity/acceptance towards others too. like i promised myself i would not allow this to be anything other than a positive experience, a nice opportunity to express myself in a way that's disconnected from how people see me irl and maybe connect with likeminded people along the way

and once i started writing fic i literally couldn't stop, like the idea of being able to share my writing and have other people enjoy it too is so exciting and motivating to me. there is so much happening in my google docs atm and it feels so good to be writing again after years of feeling too depressed to create anything

however unfortunately i am the grumpiest most insecure person on earth and i have never let go of anything in my life. i've already been unable to stop myself from wading into discourse™ and the general social media fomo/insecurity is starting to get to me. like when did i go from just gleefully shouting into the void, to constantly checking my activity, trying to figure out the best times to post, literally crying when my stuff doesn't do as well as i wanted it to??? taking note of which posts flopped and which ones did well, so i can post more of the popular content instead of just posting what i want. none of this is even real, yet it's been bothering me in a very real way. most of which is just my brain turning it into a negative experience for fully self-imposed reasons

i do think social media is poison in general. and i know it does not work at all for someone who is very prone to having a complete menty b at the first sign of any kind of rejection. and i know a big part of the problem is that i'm attaching too much value to this blog and how people respond to my posts (I have been connecting with my friends irl more lately, but social media is literally designed to prey on the part of your brain that perceives social rejection as a threat to your existence so unfortunately it feels like this matters to me a lot more than it should. also my irls do not want to hear about dan and phil lmao)

idk if i should just accept that this is not good for me and delete, or if it's possible to once again achieve the carefree fun i was having at first. maybe if i can work on my irl issues i'll start to feel a bit better and then it won't bother me as much?

i'm also sort of wondering how much i should reveal about myself? like i want to feel completely free to post as much cringe/insanity/weird smut as I want. and if i was posting in a way that would be easily traceable back to my actual identity then i'd definitely be a lot more careful with what i say. but on the other hand i wanna get to know people better! it would be fun to hop into a discord and actually have a conversation with people rather than just rambling in the tags on their posts. so i'm not really sure what to do with that either. it's kinda fun to truly exist as a completely formless entity in a way, like im literally just tumblr dot com slash purpurussy and there's something freeing about that, even if it does make me feel like i'm missing out on a chance to connect with people properly sometimes

also that idea scares me! everyone on here is genuinely so cool and wonderful and it gives me such a huge dopamime hit when someone i admire likes my stuff. so it's just scary to interact with people more because it feels like oh no they're gonna realize im actually a cantankerous little troll that lives under a bridge and is a nightmare to talk to lmfao

this makes no sense and i'll probably delete it in a bit i just had to get it off my chest

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Liveblogging real life part 2: Joel (it's been 12 13 days) (already watched)

Okay so maybe we'll do the liveblog-every-five-minutes-unless-something-crazy thing also idk if I should link this up to my intro post (idk how) or reblogged my og one with this oh well we'll figure it out why am I eating AGAIN doing this

I got inspired after rewatching secret life my beloved for the umpteenth time :P

Okay ep. 1/finale is hilarious and new "series" 😭

Joel why did you point out the cursor I can't take my eyes away

First batch

Joel jumping then immediately keeling over in nausea:

Idk how to respond to that but it struck a chord within me, how true

BigB wholesome waving but it also looks like his arm is BENT I can't get over VR arms man 😭

Punching BigB because he's so tall is so real tbh + love the smash cut to Gem being salty

Headpatting + baby-ish voice "little gem/Ren/skizz" what a gentleman makes me think of the try not to cry challenge or Jimmy's crazy christmas series where he says Joel is a crybaby and Gem says he's a romance guy in a mental gymnastics train of thought

Grian throwing his head back from the outside?! Cryptid behaviour

The real life vids don't make me motion sick but Joel making retching and vomiting sounds does NOT help it makes me sick by proxy or something I hate being disoriented and nauseous too buddy

There's probably a video out there of someone comparing regular mc to vr because vr just hits different like proportions wise

Joel noises

Love this Joel-Gem duo already idk how to describe it just fun

Also Joel having to process out loud he won't throw up on Gem I remember playing Richie's plank experience or whatever years and years ago shit was REAL

Joel's inventory becoming disorganized with things that can be stacked together :(

Hey what gem said kinda reminds me of what grian said :D at the end of his episode awful :DD

Poor Joel he's battling his height complex alongside his motion sickness (rip bozo poor little meow meow)

I think almost everybody had the problem of facing the wall dude, it's okay it's very silly

Water foreshadowing (he will swim with his future gang and become incredibly sick)

Geminislay that pig

Wait till Joel learns about lying down‼️‼️

JOEL STOP MAKING NAUSEOUS SOUNDS I'M GONNA FROW UP 👹

"...Falling in powdered snow" kinda reminds me of this short story I read in grade 9 English class "The Bamboo Trap" protag fell in The Bamboo Trap™ and got bitten by big ass spiders or something the idiot, also I think got published in the same anthology as the most dangerous game 👊

Joel admits to weakness

Weird ass snow, someone built this or something?

Joel with his arms out looks so silly, so does gem

Oh gem how graceful with the figure skating history 👊👊👊✌️👉✌️✌️🤜🤛🤛🤜🙏

Lol they learn about the wrist chat

Second batch

Jimmy, oh iconic Timmy

Shield (why did I write this again?)

Bi shoes, love seeing gem's skin wearing the bi shoes I forget about it every once in a while and when I see it again it's a pleasant surprise

Vr players learn to pvp

When you use the shield to block in first person it looks kinda stupid dude

Campsite vibes tbh, I really like it.

Bee spotted 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 what is it doing

Shaky controller cursor over top chest plate I feel you

Falling irl indeed (recursive mention about plank)

LOUD holy moly Joel is loud (not negative)

Healf being something people can't look at at all times is actually a kinda funny mechanic

Smajor friendship aww when will they team up (did I forget about a series)

The poor beg for bread, we live in a society ✊😔

Grian killing??? Since when??? (Sarcastic)

Batch three

Peace and love is why they haven't died yet 😘

Arms again! Weird looking things

Hand gesture reminds me of that one diamond scar short with etho's greedy "I want the diamond" voice

Flint and steel? Weird looking thing

Omg red club looks like bugs, the way the trio gossips about them ♥️

Right no out messages...

Can't believe the most motion sick man gets in the water not once but TWICE this ep

Does he know

Where did the horse thing come from

Can't remember if I mentioned this but when the sword swings without critting in VR it looks so silly it pokes

A bugs life: the sequel

Club: deadly euphemism

Sword 😐

Something about jimmy doesn't get burnt...

Why is Jimmy jiggles the only one with a wooden sword???

Strong words from a man on the verge of mania 👀

Lol knowing impulse breaks the ground under Joel big brain man going for the kill

Something about the disappointed way Joel says "scar!" And scar stabbing him in the first caused this

Tim is so British he says "get in" so much

Joel, again exasperated, cries out "where's all my stuff?!"

Funny Minecraft men, my favourite funny Minecraft men

My god seeing from Joel's perspective his second death is from zombie

I think Joel was about to saying bluming + the cover behind house + the constant begging for his stuff back + violence as an answer (he hits men)

4

Oh scar up to no good again

JOEL GETS IN THE WATER AGAIN!!! MOTION SICKNESS WIN!

Joel and scar just did mitosis stop being scared of biology 🙄

What was Mr solidaritygaming doing in that hill and said yes to did he finally get iron?

Aw the silly arm motion I love greeting people with spirit fingers reminds me of that

GOON SQUAD?! (neuron activated)

Famous moment

Oh more famous moment here comes the smallidarity kiss

Love Tim's body language once again the sharp smooth head turn to grian he's like a cartoon character

(what grian mean they are suited and booted he cut this part out I don't remember the other povs 😢)

Leave it to solidaritygaming himself to be the most homoerotic straight man there is of course + Joel is still patting him on the head? + Timsel being cringefail needing to jump multiple times on ONE BLOCK + Joel did NOT need to lean that much he looks like he's powered by springs + Jim's arms always being so tight together. Makes him. Look like. An old granny??? + Joel IMMEDIATELY checking his wrist afterwards like it's a Tuesday and he's on break + homophobic GRIAN + impulse's dad delivery one liner

The more I watch smallidarity kiss the more bizarre and asinine it becomes to me 😀

When did Joel learn to button jump (he WAS mental for jumping irl irl)

Okay Joel cut out that canary comment why don't you 🙄🙄🙄

WHACK 💀 SHAKE YOUR HANDS REAL FAST 💀💀 JOEL SCREAM #3997 💀💀💀

Fond of Joel's cadence of saying "hello guys!" And "I'm coming in boys!" And "HAHA!" oddly musical

Okay aaaaaaand he dies worst ranking ever good for him the end

Idk if I should liveblog scar next or watch Ren because I've already watched up to skizz + me 'ead 'urts oh well

[ellaenchanting]

On Big Clangy Emotions and the Lack of Guidebooks

This came up in another context tonight so I thought I would write it all out.

When I was 18 I fell for a girl. Hard. I had experienced really strong friendship with girls before but none quite like THIS. I didn't understand what was happening. Queer representation was so rare in media and in my small town experience that I didn't have the mental framework to put together "crush" or "love" from what was happening. I just knew I felt really really intensely - wanted to be with her all the time, thought of her constantly, would make up all sorts of excuses to fall asleep on her dorm floor, etc. I thought of it as a really strong, soul bonded friendship. I didn't know what else to consider. I didn't really know how to manage something so unexpected and strong and unnamed. I didn't know how to have good boundaries, how to talk about it, how to avoid being creepy. I really tried to manage myself and my feelings but- at a weak point I kissed her. All hell broke loose. She dropped out of college the next day. All of our mutual friends soon stopped talking to me.

I haven't seen her since.

I don't know if knowing more about myself or more about what queerness could look like would have stopped any of that from happening. Maybe everything would have happened the same way regardless. I think of her occasionally and there's still pain there- like a tiny hook in my heart. A hook from a girl I haven't seen in over 20 years. A hook from a girl who is largely a made up facimile in my head by now. A girl who I hope never thinks of me. She never wanted there to be a hook and, if she knew about it, she definitely wouldn't want me to have it anymore. I try and wish her well when I think of her- imagine that she's happy and doing well.

I've been hooked a few times in doing kink. Mostly, like with the long ago girl, because I wasn't expecting it and didn't have a framework to really acknowledge or discuss what was happening- to know what to watch out for in myself. Also like with the college girl, it's happened entirely with people who didn't mean to hook me- people who meant kindly and would take their hooks back immediately if that were in their power. People who couldn't have known I'd react so strongly because I couldn't have known I'd react so strongly. You can only know that from experience.

Part of having a weird and unconventional sexuality is having to figure this kind of stuff out way later than everyone else. Most people have their first big love (and the girl still feels like love to me) before they're 18. Even if they don't, there's tons of movies/culture/advice showing you what it's supposed to look like and how it's supposed to go. Most people have a really strong sexual component to those feelings that helps guide then- or push then- into knowing how they feel quickly and less ambiguously than my weird gray-aceiness whateveritis sometimes allows. Most people aren't finding new and expansive parts of their sexuality in their late 30s and 40s- tripping up over the same things that, if they were more normal, they might have been experiencing and learning to cope with when they were teenagers.

Through some bumps and bruises, I feel like I have a working model for what a healthy, casual kinky relationship looks like for me now - what boundaries work, what unspoken expectations are normal, what words apply only in context, etc. I wish I could pass that wisdom on to new kinky people- provide rules and boundaries and goal posts- but I don't know how because what I had to learn feels so individual. I can talk about mirror neurons and rapport and the potential love spell of looking too long into someone else's eyes and I know all of the things that are universal but - on some deep, unconscious level they still feel like a traps that only I will fall into.

I guess now I'm just better at choosing my traps- and controlling how fast and how far I fall. Being caught can be really exciting when you're prepared for it- and you've learned how to catch yourself if need be.

I don't know if any of you out there can relate. If you can, I hope reading this brings you some comfort. I hope writing it does that for me.