#Maybe one day I'll make actual illustrations again

[joejhang]

i read die free or die a failure.

spoilers ahead !!! these are my thoughts and i'm a yapper.

THINGS I LIKED (in no particular order)

andrew. (i feel like i really enjoyed his characterisation even tho it wasn't accurate. like it still felt sort of like him just like he was more vocal??? more expressive??? idk like his real personality was all there. i feel like he didn't really do anything that canon andrew wouldn't do, he just did it more openly. i love the way he handled neil and i love his smartass comments he genuinely made me laugh. and yeah protective andrew is near and dear to my heart)

kevin-neil dynamic (i would include jean in this but i hate to say it i feel like jean didn't quite fit in the narrative. like he was just there. but he didn't have a LOT of personality. it's fine tho we have tsc and that's enough for me. anyway. i loved kevin and neil's sibling dynamic it was SO funny i think they deserve to have more silly brotherhood moments in canon. i also liked how the author rlly deepened their relationship and there were a lot of layers to their bond)

SETH (i'll say it till the day i die seth deserved better. i feel like dfodaf perfectly illustrates how seth could've been if he had been allowed more time and a redemption arc. maybe it was a little rushed but i LOVED the way he became like a protective older brother to neil and actually learned about his mistakes and was willing to own up to them. GOD he had so much potential)

martyr!neil (IDK I KNOW IT'S TOXIC IT WAS JUST REALLY REALLY WELL DONE. it's not completely in line w canon neil's personality tbh but i feel like the author just got one of neil's key personality traits (a penchant for self-sacrifice and getting into near death situations) and just exaggerated for narrative purposes. which i can respect. and i just genuinely think neil is the bestest boy and this is probably very similar to what he could've been like if he had grown up in the nest)

andreil build up (i say build up bc that's the part i loved most abt their relationship in this fic. like it just felt very right for them to be together romantically after everything they went thru in this fic together. and i feel like andreil is a difficult ship to rewrite and make good bc of how well nora developed the intimacy and trust between them but this fic did it right. like the amount of trust they had in each other rlly warmed my heart!!! and i'm honestly a bit of a traditionalist and i like to stick to the canon but i think within the context of this fic their relationship was developed perfectly and paced perfectly. it just felt like the final piece in the puzzle slipped into place when they actually officially got together. like it just made sense. bc they already had that pre-existing foundation of trust and consent and they already knew each other really well. and their banter!!! it was so well written and funny. they had GREAT chemistry. they cooked w this one)

THINGS I KINDA DIDN'T LIKE (no hate!!! i'm just a natural hater and these r just some criticisms)

neil. (SORRYYYY i just can't stand when they mischaracterise my boy!!!! i feel like it kind of is a personal preference but reading this fic didn't really feel like i was reading neil. i think in the first half it was fine and i wasn't bothered by it too much but by the second half it kind of took me out of the narrative. like the neil i know and love isn't this vocal or this open about like...anything. like i just felt like neil in this fic was just very like out there and a lot louder and more...talkative??? than neil in canon. and i think it bothered me a lot bc one of the things i love most abt neil is his quiet (until he's not) personality. like he's really chill and just isn't as like vocal as he was in this fic. again it's probably just me, but i just feel like the neil characterisation in this fic didn't feel quite right to me)

the dialogue (not all of it but a lot of it i remember being like oh ok. like it felt a little too...like blunt??? like the dialogue felt kind of jarring bc i feel like real ppl wouldn't speak like that. a lot of the conversations felt kind of awkward (this isn't me imposing my own like preferences onto this fic even within the narrative it didn't feel right) and i feel like a lot of what aftg does right in terms of writing is showing not telling the characters' thoughts and feelings whether thru actions or expressions. but in this fic it kind of felt like the characters were all just saying exactly what they were thinking and feeling and experiencing at all times and it kinda took me out of the story)

ok that's it. the things i liked outnumbered the things i disliked but the things i disliked were some pretty big things. STILL. i digress. i think writing such a long and complicated fic abt such a well-loved piece of writing is such a skill and i think the author did great even if there were things i personally didn't love about it. go read it PLEASE so i can discuss this w ppl. CHECK TW!!! there are a lot and this fic is very dark and very heavy and difficult to read at times. anyway. props to the author i had a great time.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31265498/chapters/77287217

[toasted-buguette]

Redrawing some old characters to get my drawing muscles moving again, in order of appearance:

Dorothea Pembroke, an ADHD fencer who I used to roleplay with

Calliope, A sweet satyr who weaves magic fabric and who's culture I spent a week hyperfixated on developing when I was like thirteen

And finally my Locked Tomb OCs Cassandra Pemtos and Ursula Kvin, a Fifth House Necro/Cav pair that have done some truly fucked up things to stay in their codependent situationship

[midnightarcheress]

cowgirl

a little bar challenge characters: simon 'ghost' riley, john 'soap' mactavish, kyle 'gaz' garrick, john price cw: nsfw, fem!reader, tf141 lusting for their teammate, idk there's nothing much

"i'm not going on that!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms at the man in front of you.

the buzzing of a bar after a successful mission was a familiar sound for the task force. the glasses clinking, the chatter of old and new friends, the horrible background music, and the abhorrent pick-up lines would, weirdly enough, calm your nerves after days covered in heavy gear and harboring pent-up stress. or maybe the source of your mind's serenity was just the alcohol already flowing on your bloodstream, courtesy of the three tequila shots you were - willingly - forced into drinking.

"come on, bonnie, it will be fun!" Soap said, pointing at the sign propped above the mechanical bull, "besides, ye can win the hat for us."

you scoffed, glancing at the direction the scot referred, right after seeing another contender fall to the bouncy mat under the bull, followed by a string of boo's from the watchful horde. bold red lettering stated 'break the bar's record and win a cowboy hat!', tempting drunk custumers into fooling themselves for a measly prize.

"i bet she's scared," Gaz prompted, adding fuel to Johnny's pleas, "don't wanna be mocked by the crowd."

you rolled your eyes in response, "i'm not scared, Gaz, i just don't see what all the fuss is about. why don't you do it?"

"nuh-uh, don't turn this on me, missy. you're the one being challenged here," he retorted, earning a soundful hum from Soap, "tell you this, if you manage to stay there for a full minute, i'll pay you a twenty. don't even have to stand the whole three minutes of the record."

Ghost and Price stayed quiet during the whole exchange, unimpressed by the trio's shenanigans. they had endured too many drinking competitions, bets, dares, arguments and blatantly stupid ideas coming from the youngsters of the squad over the years, so nothing fazed the two superiors. underneath their apathy, however, lied a real sense of entertainment, illustrated by discreet smirks after particularly dumb comments - usually dropped by Soap's mouth.

"make it a fifty and we have a deal." you smirked, sipping from your beer pint. if you were gonna humiliate yourself in public, it better be for real cash.

"fifty if you break the record, how does that sound?"

after a second of pondering and a few too many glances at the machine's movements, studying it meticulously to engrave how to properly react when the controller jolts the apparatus from side to side, you uttered a hesitant yes, winning a cheerful chant from your friends and some whistles from the audience. 

you stepped on the mat and quickly hopped on the mechanical bull, adjusting your legs around the fake saddle. it shouldn't be that hard, right? the initial movements were easy - just holding on the chord and letting the laws of motion do the work. you didn't want to admit, but it was actually pretty fun.

eventually, the controller decided he was being too gentle and started picking up the pace, making your body rock back and forth on bull, decision that knocked the air out of your lungs for a split second, before you composed yourself and tightened your grip on the handles like your life depended on it. the crowd shouted gleefully, encouraging you to push through, despite a few snarky comments preying on your fall, just the expected.

what you didn't expect - and neither realized - was the way your teammates were reacting.

Gaz stood there with his jaw almost reaching the floor, being impressed not only by your sturdy grip, but mostly by the way your back arched when the machine tilted forward, defining your muscles through the skin-tight fabric of your shirt. even if you didn't endure the whole minute from the initial bet, he was willing to give you his entire wallet, just to watch you ride it again, and definitely not to imagine you bouncing on his lap for a little longer.

Soap, who has always been aware of your beauty, suddenly had to sit down after feeling his pants tighten at the sight of your plump ass jiggling due the repeated impacts on the bull's back, in desperate attempts to grind yourself. in addition, the tiniest bit of your lacy underwear peeking out of the dark jeans that hugged your hips flawlessly wasn't helping with his situation.

the daring smile that painted your lips, juxtaposing the concentrated frown of your eyes as you tried your best to not fall during an exceptionally wild movement, only supplied Ghost's cock with an overflow of blood, twitching at the view of your plush thighs clenching around the bucking machine whenever it defied your determination by leaning too much on the sides, shaking to make you collapse on the mat.

Price, however, acted as gentleman the whole time, just admiring your ability and strength to stay clutched to the unpredictable machinery. that, of course, was only until he got a view of your perfectly round tits, taunting the edges of your low-cut top and threatening to spill out at any given minute, ready to give him a real show. the adrenaline-filled flush that gave your cheeks an innocent pink hue, felt very similar to the sudden rush on his shaft that made your captain almost choke on his scotch.

three minutes and forty-seven seconds.

"that was so much fun!" your giggly shout and stumbling figure getting closer to the group was enough to snap the men out of their trance. they quickly took notice of your wide grin and the brown cowboy hat placed on your head, followed by the loud screaming of the public that just witnessed the bar's record being broken. 

"come on, pay up, Gaz." you said, sticking your palm to receive your well deserved money in a contained victory dance.

the four men glanced at each other, gathering the courage to speak up after your little performance that had them weak on the knees for a colleague. 

"didn't think you had it in ye, bonnie." Soap stated as Gaz reached for the wallet in his back pocket, almost considering giving you a fat tip for the spectacle. the sergeants were certainly doing a poor job in hiding the blush on their cheeks and small beads of sweat on their foreheads, consequence of trying to ignore the tent formed on their trousers.

your superiors, on the contrary, remained quiet and seemingly undisturbed by the previous scene, silently sipping from their glasses but still watching the chatting trio. only now, they wouldn't dare to get up and risk the others - specifically you - noticing their throbbing cocks marking their pants, yearning for the touch of your silky flesh.

after collecting your gains, you rapidly swayed to the bar counter, ordering a new drink with your sweet, sweet money, while the task force members ultimately etched the sight of you riding the mechanical bull in the deepest corner of their brains - saving the images for the great release when you all get back to base.

okay this is my first official thingy i feel so silly. also english is not my first language so...

[chornayadrakoshig]

Code July 2024 — Day 2 — Favorite Ship

I mean these two have been in my heart for a long, long time, so I had to make at least one drawing for this Code July with Oddlita (because there is never enough Oddlita)

Also, could you believe it's the 10th Code July?! Unfortunatelly I wasn't there each year but I really want to do at least a few fanarts which will be a huge challenge not only because I jumped into 2 other events that are happening in July too, but also because I planned for quick an easy ink illustrations, similar to what I did in 2018 and 2019, but the ink said "fuck you" so eeeeh the Day 1 art with William is absolutelly ruined, I need to re-trace the sketch and redraw it in watercolors.

Great start, what can I say. But hey, at least I have an art with Oddlita. (Actually I've made the sketch when the calendar was posted, and I shared it in one group chat and said "oh it would look cool in watercolor but I decided I wanna do everything in ink, maybe I'll redraw this one again later" LOL)

Also, the photo reference that I've used for this is pure meme material but I didn't want to put a third person into this fanart xD

[iraprince]

TIME FOR A PROCESS POST let's talk abt getting from this (client sketch - which, btw, i know other artists have talked about this plenty, but i LOOOOOOVE a client sketch as early direction on a commission. LOVE it)

to this!

at first we didn't know if the title was going to go across the desk, or over the central figure (emara's) head against the back wall. so there was a 1st version where we were favoring a higher title, then we started favoring the desk so we scrapped the clutter + centered it more

i used clip studio's 3D models (particularly for the chair, guard, + weapon crates) and perspective rulers to help with laying everything out at this stage, tho i abandoned the 3D pretty early on bc it's a bit too clunky for me. maybe i'll find it quicker to use w more practice!

(the rest under the cut!)

once the basic layout was approved, i threw together a value study to explain how in the final image all the clutter of the bg detail would be unified and pushed back. lately i find myself thinking abt value earlier + earlier in the process; planning ahead saves me a lot of time!

i fiddled with starting to refine things digitally, but then i got A BRAND NEW LIGHTBOX delivered in the mail with perfect timing (lmao) so i just ended up printing off the digital sketch, finalizing in pencil, + scanning back in

then comes five billion different steps of locking in values, again. i did everything greyscale first, but i didn't worry abt getting things super polished at this stage bc i knew color would factor in a lot to later decisions

this is the point at which presenting these wips "step by step" is kind of misleading; i didn't do these stages one at a time, but rather had a BUNCH of different lighting/shading layers that i kept toggling on and off as i worked to make sure everything was coming along well.

(to get some of these caps i actually went into the main file again and turned a bunch of stuff on/off just for the sake of getting specific examples, because actually when i was actively working on it there was rarely a point where i was actually working on something with "all lighting turned off and just the shading on," or anything like that; but i AM interested in showing what effects different lighting/shading changes had on the base colors, even if i wasn't really making these changes in a rigid order.)

i.e., just for the sake of interest, here's how the flat colors look without those adjustments!! but i honestly never looked at it like this on its own for long...i had all the shading/lighting turned off so i could see what i was doing while flatting, but i was constantly checking back and forth.

then tones added on top (which were actually just two copies of the tone folders in the above posts, set to linear burn and overlay) -

which makes it get HORRIFYINGLY dark, but that's when we go in and add a bunch of lighting adjustments.

the most obvious lighting change above is the big burst of hot pink light from the corner, but there was also some masked overlay + burn layers to pop out the guard + emara and make sure they were pulled out from the bg. if this were a standalone illustration, i maybe would have let the bg (and all that painstakingly drawn detail..........) stand out a little more, but a cover functions differently, and i wanted to make sure the eye goes to the title first. that means sacrificing bg detail even if it looks sick lol

then final touches! a lot of my very last touches are things that are close to invisible; gradient maps on very low opacity, noise, a little bit of scribbling on upper layers. the typesetting was all by the client, except for the lettering for "emara king's," which i did myself!

finally, here's a comparison of ⬅where i left off one night close to the deadline thinking "it's probably done, but i'll sleep on it just in case," then all the adjustments i made the next day with fresh eyes.➡ and that's it!!! phew!!! that's how i make a cover!

[corvus--rex]

Lance and Keith started dating early in high school, even before Keith came out and started his transition, and it's now just after college and they're engaged. They've been with Lance's family for the day, Sylvio and Nadia included.

The kids are 6 and 4 and have known Keith literally their entire lives. They were too young during various stages to understand what was going on, but they both know Keith's trans.

Needing a break, Keith is curled up against Lance in the living room, while Sylvio and Nadia are sprawled on the floor with a book each. Nadia's only just learning to read, but she already loves books. She's turning the pages, mostly looking at the pictures, when she looks up, interrupting Keith and Lance's quiet conversation.

"Tío Keef, why aren't there families in my stories like ours?"

It's been about 15 years since he's read a kids' book and doesn't understand where's she's going with this. "What do you mean, munchkin?"

Nadia puts her book down, turning to face him in all the seriousness a 4 year old can muster. "They all have a mami and a papi, but not - not -" her face scrunches as she tries to find the right word.

She doesn't need to find the right word, the realization of what she's asking hits him at full force. He sits up, leaning forward to meet her eyes. "You wanna know why there isn't anyone like me?"

She nods. "It's not fair."

It's an innocent question, but she asked it with such naive sincerity, genuinely upset that she didn't see her own family in her favorite books. It gave Keith an idea. He had a new sketchbook in the backseat of his car, a very recent art degree, and the few creative writing classes he'd taken.

Nadia's books didn't have her family in their pages, but maybe they could.

"Y'know what? I'll be right back."

He ran out to his car and back with the sketchbook, plus the mechanical pencil and ballpoint pen from his bag, and sat down on the floor with her, meeting Lance's confused look asking what the hell he was doing with one that said "trust me".

"Ok, munchkin," he said to Nadia, "If your stories don't have our family in them, how about we make a new story?"

Nadia's face lit up. "We can make a new one? With our kind of family in it?"

"We can, but I'll need your help."

Sylvio was pretending to read his own book, but Lance could see him listening in and sneaking looks at the rough sketches. That didn't last long, the book quickly forgotten in favor of throwing out wilder and wilder ideas for the story with Keith gently reeling him in. Sylvio was not one to be reeled in, and Lance soon joined them on the floor to help wrangle the kids' enthusiasm. They stayed there for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, neither one wanting to leave when their parents came to tell them it was time to go. They only stopped fighting it when Keith promised them they'd work on the story again.

He kept that promise, taking the kids out every few weeks, showing them what he'd done in between when he had time, and them continuing the story and illustrations.

After it was finished, he left it for a while, not forgotten, but resting. Eventually, he pulled the illustrations and their companion sheets of text from the shoebox-like storage box he'd gotten just for this, matching art to words.

Lance came home from work to their apartment that evening to find Keith on the living room floor, bristol board and printer paper in an organized chaos around him.

"Think it's really done?" Lance asked.

Keith sighed and leaned back against the sofa. There was one thing about the book he hadn't told anyone yet, but after the email he'd gotten earlier in the day, he finally could.

"Yeah I do." He paused and looked up, a little bit guilty, but mostly trying to contain excitement. "I found a publisher for it. They're a queer-owned company. I actually sent it off about a month ago and I finally heard back today. They love it."

It had started as a picture book, but evolved since then into something a little bigger. Nadia wanted cats - all different colors, and not little kitties, no she wanted lions. And the lions had to have knights to ride on them. Sylvio was the one to insist on a princess and that she had to be their honorary Tía Allura. Gradually, all of the knights and princess ended up based on people the kids knew, Keith and Lance included. It made sense and Keith loved it and the idea of family including the one you make for yourself.

When it came time for a name for this story of found family and adventures, Sylvio yelled "Defenders of the UNIVERSE!" at the top of his lungs in the middle of the park. Nadia had been taking a break from the playground, sitting next to Keith with her coloring pad. She'd drawn the lions from their story, facing out in a vaguely star shape, their tails meeting in the middle.

Keith asked for her opinion on a story name and also what she was drawing and without looking up from her coloring, she said "Its name is Voltron."

Keith put the two together, and when the book was published, its cover was the lions Nadia had drawn that day, only by Keith's hand this time, framed on top and bottom by the book's name: Defenders of The Universe, a Voltron story.

No one had seen the dedication, not until Keith got the advance copies, giving one each to Sylvio and Nadia in the same living room the story had started in. Nadia climbed into Keith's lap with it, Sylvio squeezing himself in between Keith and Lance on the sofa.

Looking over Sylvio's shoulder, Lance read it aloud.

"For Sylvio and Nadia, the original Defenders, this book wouldn't exist without you. Don't stop reading or dreaming."

[chronicbeans]

Hi! Since I saw the illustrator wally series I've been exited to request this, it was also sad to see how nobody has yet come with this idea or at least I haven't seen anyone else bring this up so here I come!

It will be interesting how It would work a relationship between Human wally and reader who has maladaptive daydreaming along with autism, I thought of how would it be to meet someone who has to experience something familiar with you. ( since maladaptive daydreaming can be described as a variant of schizophrenia with some small differences ) anyways, I'm a desperate for representation-

ET TU, BRUTE? Omg I maladaptive daydream too (if I am reading it right and you mean to say that you do IT-). My therapist says that I am like, addicted to it lol. My family counselor also likened my case more towards depersonalization/dissociation/a variant of DID due to me only daydreaming myself as other people. This is actually the first time I have heard of it being described as a variant of schizophrenia, but it actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it! I need more representation too, so let's do this! I'll try to make it as broad as possible, because everyone daydreams about different things!

Illustrator Wally with an Autistic Reader who Maladaptive Daydreams:

TW: Mentions of Hallucinations, Maladaptive Daydreaming

🖍️ He is a bit confused when he sees you pacing around your living room. He is visiting, and decided to try to surprise you by sneaking up behind you and giving you a gift! Now, though, he is a bit enamored by how you are prancing around, muttering little things to yourself as you seem so carefree and happy in your little world. This is the first time he has seen you like this.

🖍️ You finally end up turning around, in his direction, and your face grows a bit pale from shock and embarrassment. "Uh... Hello... I'm so glad you came to visit!" You try to play it off, but he is too intrigued. Maybe you are like him, and hallucinate, too?

🖍️ You explain what you were doing. You daydream... WAY more often than other people! Intense worldbuilding, character arcs, and more all take place in your head the majority of the day. You like to prance or pace, finding it helpful to feel more comfortable. You also tend to stim in other ways if you cannot pace or prance. The odd facial expressions and mutterings were just you getting in character and reacting to what was happening in your daydreams.

🖍️ Wally is intrigued. It is so... similar, but different, from him. Both you and him are autistic, yes. He's known that for a while, since you told him around the second or third meeting between you two. THIS, though, is so amazing to him. He wants to know more about the stories in your head!

🖍️What do they consist of? Are they horror? Romance? Action? Comedy? He wishes to know. Are you in them? Do you play someone else? Is it from a third person perspective, watching over your creations? If it is something child friendly, maybe you can write a book and he can illustrate it!

🖍️ Even if it is something more... dark, disturbing, overall NOT a kid friendly topic... he would still want to draw it! Maybe he can start to expand his illustrations into more adult books. He is shockingly good at drawing horror, you know. Some of his vent art is a really disturbing treat to view.

🖍️ You might get onto the topic of how both of your conditions are similar and different. You have a lot of characters floating around in your head. Different worlds, stories, everything! Wally does have, in a way, characters, too! The little voices in his head count, right? Sometimes the same one will pop up every now and again. Both of your conditions seem, in a way, uncontrolled. Due to Wally preferring to not use medications, he simply lives with the voices and hallucinations, going to therapy to help him cope and learn to live with it. You just go with the flow, in a way. As far as you've heard, the best and only way to help deal with it is therapy. No real medication or anything.

🖍️ You both are finally happy to find someone similar to yourselves. The best part is that it is similar enough to be familiar, but different enough to have such interesting conversations!

[aoki553]

GRGRGRGRG FINALLY AN OPPORTUNITY TO INFODUMP ABT HIM!!! tysm @makifishcake and prepare for a long ramble abt best boy ever (to me) and why saijun is real... let's start with an introduction to a canon crossover character only The Loser (me) cares about! this is gonna get messy in writing near the end cuz its like 3 am for me rn.

Kouno Jun is one of the two protagonists of Asou-sensei's older work, Our Hero Studies and is one of Haganeno Ken's students at Holy Lance Academy (a private school that either exists the same town as Saiki or some neighboring one)

The only translated OHS chapters so far show us who Jun and Haganeno are as characters. Kouno Jun's a generic tsukkomi high school student with normal teenage boy interests and crushes... he's baby and a total boyfail.

Jun likes video games (Kaisou Monogatari, an in-universe franchise), ramen, melon soda and Yayumi - the class rep. Pretty normal dude that's just being constantly bothered by his classmates and the teacher he hates...

...and then there's Haganeno Ken - THE delusional cosplayer hero wannabe teacher with huge interest in roleplaying and RPG video games, who immediately takes a liking to Jun, mainly for his name (his name means shield, while Haganeno's mean sword. you see where i'm going?)

most of the ohs panels will be machine translated cuz i have no strength or motivation to continue my actual translation work ngnhnh one day maybe... 😔

He may look like a generic high school shonen manga protagonist, but it's actually really charming to me how adorable he can be despite the boring presentation lolol HIS CRUSH ON YAYUMI IS SO CUTE UGHNHNH

And yeah of course he shows up in Saiki bc WHY WOULDNT HE???

Asou-sensei put him there twice. In the Christmas chapter where he's walking with a girl (MOST LIKELY YAYUMI), sees Kusuo sitting alone and being like "haha that's so sad to be lonely on christmas lmao"... EXCEPT ITS HILARIOUS CUZ HE DOES THE SAME THING IN HIS OWN MANGA'S CHRISTMAS CHAPTER.

and in the Hero Studies crossover chapter, right at the end as an unused character. (wouldn't make sense to have two tsukkomis there tbh so i get it lolol)

Same thing happens in the anime except Jun in the Christmas episode wasn't animated like he's an actual pre-existing character, except just a background character so he looks different but has the same jacket with his initials so its definitely him.

so here's all his screentime:

his terrible sense of style was referenced by Takeru at one point as well. yes, Jun dresses terrible and he has outfits much worse than this. hes a loser and i love him

okay but what's with the saijun thing? orz

basically its a silly ship me and my lovely sweetest gf (@lu-kario ) came up with and it kinda stuck around. "omg haha what if the two protagonists from different manga dated" but yeah it became an actual thing with thought out scenarios between us.

Me saying it'd be like satousai but Kusuo finds someone "normal" with actual personality would be not giving this ship enough justice. I can't tell much rn cuz I forget 90% of the stuff i make up unless i write it down BUT all i'll say is that

I like to imagine Jun and Kusuo having a calm and nice relationship, lots of quality time spent playing video games or going out to get some ramen together. Kusuo gets to have someone more usual by his side and Jun isn't likely to be bothered by Ken when Kusuo is around (:3).

and yeah, they do get another scene together in volume zero! how lovely! the christmas episode is also one of the reasons i find the ship cool but even despite the sillies having canon scenes and illustrations together i like it simply for fun.

canon crossover ships are cool and epic

my final words: go read ohs its fully in japanese online and 5 chapters are in english so far.

seriously go read it the fandom doesn't exist its really lonely.

and if you care abt our hero studies u can motivate me in the ask box, gimme a kick on the butt so i go and translate this work again after like a year or more of hiatus

[moriamori]

Even now I feel the ghosts of muscles and nerves wishing to induce pain, as my upper torso works on healing missing skin from ripped kinetic sports tape used in recovery.

The words "Do what you love while you still have the bodily means to do it" rattles through my bones, I'm not that old by human standards but the sense of a countdown remains regardless. Comics are a deep love of mine. They're also the medium to tell a story very, very slowly.

With an average life span of 80 years, knock off my current 30, that's 50 years left. A completed series could take about ten years, many have taken longer. The manic could commit maybe five stories. Realistically, most manage half or a quarter of one. Maybe complete one. Maybe two. And my arms hurt, my spine pinches. My fingers tingle.

With my current funds, I choose between one physio session for the month, or hope to save up enough for an ergonomics assessment of my awful workdesk-setup in a slanted apartment, with a chair too big and items eternally too wide, too heavy for me. "This time," I say, "This time, this will help me get closer to drawing again".

I had wanted to be a freelance illustrator, when I realized my day job would never financially reflect the amount of work I do or don't put in. I wouldn't be able to increase my funds if I took on more work. My job will only realize they can expect more work out of me for the same pay. Getting hired elsewhere, while a possibility, would likely involve obtaining a new job that is twice as stressful and pays a tiny bit more. I don't even want this career.

I used to do commissions. I used to draw like I breathed. The irony of working in an art school is that the continuous exposure to technique and "how to get better", mainly makes you able to see your own mistakes and your own shortcomings over and over again. It's always about improvement. Find the faults, do better. Do better. Do better.

Don't sing this way, sing that way.

I feel like I've lost my voice. I feel like my voice hasn't much to say, actually. I know people loved it, once. People even demand my return.

"I want to see the next pages." "Where's that comic you said you'd do?" "Made any art recently?"

Positive attention doesn't pay bills, doesn't give me lunch, doesn't offer insurance for my physio therapy bills. It almost did. But I would have to keep performing. Keep producing through the burn. And I want to. I do. That's the awful thing in the end. I also want these pages done.

I want to love to create again. I remember I loved. I loved fearlessly. Made fearlessly. I embraced bad art. Minimalist art. Shitty art.

"I know you can make better than this." "You didn't put effort in this one."

Please put effort in me.

I am sorry the previous conditions I worked in were not enough, and the past support was not enough. I did have patreon. I did have some support. I had people willing to pay me for my time and effort and they even had patience. It was almost enough. Almost.

A flower still wilts if only given a slice of the sun it needs. It can try to grow in those conditions but it isn't going to be good.

"It used to be enough before!"

Maybe I grew. Maybe my appetite and my needs got bigger. Kids' meals don't fill me anymore. What right do I have to ask for more, when I have nothing to show for it? When what I make, may end up being terrible regardless?

"Remember you will love," I tell myself once more. Maybe I'll love regardless, in the end. Pages or no pages.

I do love terrible comics, in the end.

[the-moon-lullaby]

hi! <3 I hope you are having a nice day :D I was wondering if you could do some headcanons for episode 26 from High School Life? I always thought that episode was really cool and fun, so if you could make maybe some headcanons mainly about the picnic Candy has with the girls and Alexy could be pretty awesome :D like just general headcanons about it. Also bestie I FEEL you about wanting to write anything else than an essay for uni :")

Random headcanons about episode 26

N/A : I really liked this episode too ! I was kinda inspired (I think ?)so there'll be some headcanons about the date but also some about the picnic with Alexy & the girls (also yeah, it's refreshing to write about things I actually enjoy, it didn't happen in a while sadly, so thank you for your understanding dear <3)

So let's start with the dates with the HSL Boys :

About the date with Nathaniel, I found it funny how Candy thought it'd be a good idea to invite him on a picnic, in a park, in the middle of spring, when she knows that he's badly allergic to pollen (I just know that my boy had to make a stock of antihistamines and was suffering in silence, guess he really wanted that date)

I like to think that Nathaniel actually took the time to carefully prepare himself for the picnic. Because even if Candy didn't specified it or anything, Nath wanted to believe that it was indeed a date. So, he thought a lot about what he should wear (let's ignore the fact that he still wears the same outfit in the illustration) and he put on a nice cologne, hoping that Candy would like it

It's pretty clear that Nathaniel intended to declare himself (there's a moment where he really seems about to kiss Candy) so when they got interrupted by Thomas, he tried to hide it but he was pissed (really Iris, put a leash on your brother, some people are trying to get it here)

In the case of Armin, I liked how he freaked out at the wasps' attack and it kinda make sense since at the frequency he goes outside, he probably hadn't seen a wasp since 2007 lmao

Also this little picnic date surely did him some good because there's no way this boy doesn't have a vitamin D deficiency (Okay, I might be a little hard on Armin right now, I'll stop)

Armin brought the sandwiches and believe or not but it was pretty good. He's not a big cook but I don't think he's a bad one, he just sticks to simple things (also he mastered the art of making sandwiches because it's his favorite 2 AM snack to make when he's pulling an all-nighter)

I believe that it's during this picnic that Armin realised that he had a crush on Candy (Guys, he spent a WHOLE afternoon out in the wild just for Candy, that says a lot if you ask me)

Okay one thing about the date with Castiel : I wanted him to bring Demon to the picnic (maybe it could have been hard to manage with all the food around but come on, he's a good boy LET HIM OUT BEEMOOV)

I am also a dog person so I might be biased lol

But just picture it : Castiel and Candy enjoying their little lunch with them taking turn to feed Demon with little bites of food (adorable plus, Castiel would enjoy to see Candy playing with Demon)

Also, Castiel's change of tone when talking to his dog (if you have a pet, you know what I mean). Candy would melt (and me too)

After eating, Candy and Castiel could have take Demon for a little walk in the park and Castiel would have let Candy hold the leash as she seems really excited about it (and he would have been really happy about it. Once again, if you have a pet you know how great it feels when someone you like gets along with your pet. It's so cute to see !)

Since Demon has this bad habit to pull on the leash (as seen in episode 3 of HSL), Castiel would help out Candy by putting his hand above hers to get a hold on the leash (and also to hold her hand)

Firstly, I am convinced that Nina was hiding somewhere in the park when she saw Lysander and Candy together (Back to the time where Nina was in her Joe Goldberg era lmao)

I think Lysander was the calmest amongst the boys about the date (and luckily he was because Candy was stressed out enough for the both of them. As usual)

He might have asked Leigh advices about dates 'cause like, he's supposed to have some experience right ? (the truth is that when his brother asked him that, he was just like "well, I was just existing and then Rosa decided that I'll be her boyfriend. So just stand there and exist I guess ?" Yeah, great advice from the big bro)

When I tell you that Kentin was ecstatic when Candy invited him on a picnic, that's an euphemism (bro was internally screaming)

Really, he probably wasn't able to stand still until the D-Day (he waited for that since basically forever so understandable)

Also, just like with Castiel, I wanted him to bring Cookie (I really like dogs, sorry)

The illustration for Kentin's route is so cute

The both of them, laying in the green grass, so close to each other with the bright sun above them. (That's such a picturesque vision, I love it !)

I like to think that they reminisced together of the memories they had from before they arrived to Sweet Amoris. Kentin tends to feel insecure when talking about this period of his life. However, as they both talking he realises that there's no judgment in Candy's tone and that the moments they spent together actually means a lot to her. It would warms his heart and if it was even possible, he'd be even more fond of Candy

(I wish they talked more about it in the game because even if it gets better by the end of HSL, his route still feels a bit superficial. Like there's this idea that he had to completely transform himself and become handsome to become "interesting". I don't know if you know what I mean)

Now, about the picnic with Alexy & the girls :

Before starting, I kinda wanted to see more interactions between the characters during the picnic (but I guess that the episode would have too long then but it's okay, I'll put some here)

Kim & Capucine's conversation (might sound odd but I'll explain it)

Kim (just know that I love HSL Kim, she's such a good character) just has this protective and « I won’t take any shit » vibe (even though she’s actually a big softie as we see with her interactions with Violette and it's so cute) and everyone respects her like naturally ?

In the beginning of this episode, Capucine was insufferable. Really, this girl was trying really hard to be like Amber when she’s nothing like her (and if you take into account the fact that Amber herself is putting on a persona, you kinda get a girl trying to put one someone else’s persona thinking that it’s the way to go. Kinda sad).

(just putting it here but I liked having a character like HSL Amber in the game because she brings the drama you know ? she's also a bully but she also have some depth to her character ? I am really confused 'cause I've had some bad experiences with people like her during my school years so I am wondering : Is Amber character actually good or do I have a Stockholm's Syndrome-ish thing ???? pls help)

Let's go back to our sheep : Kim & Capucine's interaction 

So I like to think that during the picnic, Kim and Capucine got to talk a little and boom, two worlds meet : Kim doesn’t really give a shit about what people think of her and oppositely, Capucine lives by that. And I think because of it, Capucine kinda have a negative image of Kim. 

Until they get to talk. Kim is friendly towards her even if she acts like a bitch because I truly think that Kim is pretty good at reading and understanding people (she probably doesn’t even realise it herself but when you’re capable to bond with someone so reserved as Violette as well as getting along with Castiel AND Nathaniel at the same time, it says quite a lot about this ability she has)

I think this conversation they’d have on the park would make Capucine think that Kim is a pretty cool person even though they are quite different and what's the most striking difference is that Kim is truly authentic (it’s something that’s pretty rare these days so when you come across someone like that it can really makes you question a lot of things) and she might even realise that the persona she puts on everyday at school doesn’t suit her and that she’s actually not happy with it (which I believe, after her relationship with Samuel, is one of the realisations she had before trying to become a better and truer version of herself)

This one was a bit long but I think there's so many things to say about Kim's character lol

Now, Melody and Iris talking about the whole Nathaniel situation and Alexy coming from nowhere just to say something like "there's too many fishes in the sea to waste time on one that doesn't want be caught. Move on girlie"

Like 'ayoo, mind your own business boy ?' (that's Alexy, of course he's not going to do that. He just has this radar for drama)

It's either that or HE IS the drama

Anyway, Melody is a bit startled because "how do you know about that ???" when the really question is "how could anyone not know" with how she's so not subtle. And that's how Alexy would basically become a love coach for the afternoon (wtf)

However if Melody starts to talk about Candy being too close to Nath, oh boy, Alexy goes defensive mode and he won’t hear more of this nonsense (like girl it’s not Candy’s fault if Nathaniel likes her better, wake up) 

Anyway, this conversation would be pretty random and Melody wouldn't really know what to answer because I feel like she’s a pretty reserved person and on the contrary Alexy’s quite unhinged and then, there’s Iris in the middle watching the show (honestly same girl, I’d like to witness this conversation too)

Violette (my sweet girl) would try to draw the landscape but would end up practicing drawing silhouette using her friends as models. She’d be too shy to show it but I just know she’d end up showing her sketches to Kim later and she’d blush when told how good this is (pls their relationship is so lovely, I kinda ship them)

A Peggy and Rosalya’s interaction could also be interesting : they both like to know the gossips and all but the difference between them is that Rosalya would not spread rumours the way Peggy does. So I think Rosa would try to make her understand that she sometimes goes too far which is unfortunate because well, she’s cool to hang out with but if she keeps going like that, she might end up having everyone turning their back on her. 

The water fight is honestly quite fun to imagine

Despite what he says in the game, Alexy lost it (and quite significantly) 

I mean bro, you’re trying to put a fight against Kim, what did you expect ???

That's all I have for this so I hope you enjoyed reading this !

Wish you the best and see you soon !

[starflungwaddledee]

Hey got a question, is it normal for your heartbeat to beat rapidly wherever you look at really tense or angsty scenes?

It's Just a question I had in mind

putting these together because they're clearly related. i admit these have me a little bit stumped, but i'll take this in good faith and do my best! under the cut because of length.

topics include: physiological reactions to fiction, emotional reactions/empathy of creators, and finally addressing the unspoken question present in asks like this.

"is it normal to have a physiological reaction (heart beat, jitters, excitement, sadness, etc) to fiction"

absolutely! i cannot overstate how common it is to have reactions of any wide variety to fiction. the whole point of storytelling is to make you feel things! the reactions you have, their intensity, and the specific media or genre you'll have those reactions to will vary person to person. in regards to angst in particular, like i've said on this topic before: reactions will vary. some people might get excited, others might get sad, others might feel it like a gut punch but in a really good and cathartic way. none of these are better or worse or more normal or more abnormal than the other.

"do i as a creator have an emotional reaction to the work i'm creating?"

i personally do, sure. i was actually quite explicit in the tags of the comic that came right before this ask that i found it hard to draw, because seeing kirby so sad was emotionally pulverising to me. do all creators? no. do i feel a strong emotional reaction to all scenes? no. or all types of content creation? no. for me, prose is actually much easier to tackle than illustration; i can write trauma and suffering and psychological devastation until the cows come home, but drawing it is a different matter. consuming the work of others is different again. and this is different for everybody. am i somehow morally better or more empathetic than an artist that doesn't struggle to draw characters sad? hell no! being able to represent- in fiction- a strong emotion generally requires that you empathise with or at least understand that emotion. sometimes creators actually have to be able to turn this off to be able to create the content we make; the way we turn off strict adherence to reality in order to write fantasy. if we couldn't do this, content across the board- art, movies, novels- would be flattened to nothing but the cheeriest and most mediocre parts of our day to day lives. no fun monsters (because those aren't real). no challenges to rise above (because those make us sad). no characters who have different experiences to us (because how could we imagine or feel for that). and it would be okay for like... twenty minutes of all books containing 'the sun was shining and i woke up on time and had a yummy breakfast', but then it would suck, sorry. conflict and imagination are the root of content.

"it's just a question I had in mind".

a way to think about this might be; would you ask these questions about genres that aren't angst? would you ask "is it normal to be happy when these characters finally reunite" or "is it normal to feel resolution in response to a happy ending" or "is it normal to feel excitement when a character has their cool hero moment". perhaps it's because your reaction to angst is something you construe as negative, but if you wouldn't doubt your reactions to cheerful content, then there's no reason to doubt the reactions you have to angst either; these are just reactions! fiction is designed to make us feel things, but what you feel will be up to you. no one feeling or response is better or worse than any others.

lastly, i feel like there is an unspoken question here that i don't like.

and maybe you didn't intend it. i'm going to extend that grace to you, and because you seem to need reassurance about this (though i will not be reassuring about this further. i do not like reassurance seeking from strangers and this is a boundary i am setting right now), this is not an attack or even a criticism. your questions are fine if they are coming from a place of curiosity and- i simply assume- that these are new or difficult concepts to you that you have yet to have explored or explained.

but on the good faith assumption you didn't intend it, and wouldn't want to do this again (especially if you message other creators), i think you should be aware.

because it sounds like this: "do the people who make sad/angsty/dark content care at all or are you heartless to the suffering (of these characters). is angst/dark content made by bad people?" i felt it the previous time i got a question like this too when it explicitly stated "you seem like a nice person", as if being a nice person was in contrast with what i was creating.

please. we are just people. the relative light or darkness of the content you make says absolutely nothing about your morals, your real life attitudes, or your ability to be an empath.

someone making cute animal art could be a school yard bully. someone writing a complex sci-fi warhorror fic could be the most altruistic and compassionate soul in the world.

in my experience, creators are some of the most empathetic people i have ever met, and many of them know their craft intimately. these are people capable of stepping into the shoes of others as easily as breathing. of sitting down at their work station every day and finding inside themselves a way to answer "how would this really feel?" so clearly and honestly that they can put it onto the paper for you to feel it too.

[canirove]

Granada | Chapter 3

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Masterlist

"You look beautiful, Rowena."

"I hate it" she replied while looking at herself in the mirror. It had been a few days since her attempt to run away and she hadn't tried to do it again, but after seeing the wedding dress the Queen had chosen for her, the idea of giving it another go was very tempting.

"We were told this was the fashion in your country" the seamstress said.

"A century ago, maybe" Rowena sighed. "I look like one of those cupcakes your mother used to give us."

"You actually do look a bit like a cupcake, yes" Anne chuckled.

"Can we… can we change the skirt?" 

"We could take off some of the layers" the seamstress suggested.

"Wait, no. I think I have an idea."

"Rowena, where are you going?" Anne asked.

"Our room. I just remembered this illustration from a book I read that may help us do something with all… this."

"But you can't leave while wearing your wedding dress! What if the Prince sees you?"

"I'll be fine. He probably is somewhere doing something he shouldn't" Rowena said.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          

"What are you wearing?" someone laughed behind Rowena.

"A dress" she answered as she kept walking.

"You look… I don't know how you look" Prince Rúben laughed.

"Like a cupcake."

"A what?"

"A cupcake. Don't you know what that is?"

"Never heard that word before" he replied, now walking next to her. Him and his stupid long legs, always catching up to her despite walking as fast as she could. Though on that dress, it wasn't too fast. 

"A cupcake is like a small cake with cream. The Queen used to get them for Anne and I when we were kids, and that's what I look like."

"Oh… I see. Do you like them?"

"I like eating them, not wearing them."

"Understandable" he chuckled. "Where are you going dressed like that?"

"Why do you care?"

"Well, you are about to be my wife, and you have this habit of wanting to run away."

"It only happened once."

"But you've definitely thought about doing it a few more times" he smirked.

"Whatever."

"So, where are you going?"

"My room."

"Why?"

"Don't you have somewhere else to be? Something else to do?"

"I actually don't, no" he shrugged.

"Urgh" Rowena groaned, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to my room to fetch a book. It has an illustration of a dress I want to show to the seamstress."

"Wait… Is this your wedding dress?" 

"Not if I can help it" she sighed. "Though maybe I should actually wear this one."

"Why would you do such thing? It is horrible, and you definitely look uncomfortable wearing it."

"Because back home they say that if the groom sees the bride wearing her wedding dress before the ceremony, it brings bad luck. So maybe, if I wear this one, we won't have to get married" Rowena smiled.

"Or maybe the bad luck will be that you actually end up marrying me" Prince Rúben replied with a matching smile.

"That's… urgh" she groaned again, making him laugh. 

"Anyway, I better leave you alone to fetch that book. Now I'm curious to see what dress you will be wearing."

"Great" she said as she picked up her skirts and kept walking, leaving him behind.

"But Romina" the prince called.

"It's… what now?" 

"Make sure it has an interesting back. If you run away half way through the ceremony, at least let me see those hips of yours moving one last time."

"You are so lucky I can't reach one of my shoes right now" she said, making him laugh once again. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          

One week. 7 days. 168 hours. Kind of. That was the time Rowena had left before she had to marry Prince Rúben. And it kept being an idea she wasn't looking forward to. She had managed to convince the seamstress to make her the dress she wanted, so that was something. And she was going to get married in the gardens, now her favourite place in the palace, which made things a bit better too. But just a bit.

As she walked through them, she heard people talking behind some trees, someone laughing. And that laugh was one she had already gotten very used to. 

"Can you do it, then?" Prince Rúben asked to a maid. 

"Of course I can, my prince" she replied. 

When she saw them, they were talking very close to each other. Too close if we keep in mind that they were a Prince and a servant. 

"Afternoon" Rowena said, making both of them jump.

"My lady" the maid replied before quickly leaving, her cheeks bright red.

"You know, you could at least be more careful" Rowena said as she started walking away. 

"What do you mean?" Prince Rúben asked, showing up at her side like he always did. 

"Your lovers. You should be more careful next time, meet with them where people can't see you. You are about to get married, remember?"

"Jealous?" he smirked.

"Of course not" she snorted.

"Then?"

"If someone who wasn't me had seen you, you may had gotten that poor girl in trouble."

"I see… So you aren't jealous, you just care about that maid."

"Exactly. If an unmarried woman is seen alone with a man, and behaving the way you were, her life will be over. Even more if he happens to be a Prince and she is just a maid. You will walk away unscratched while she will be left with nothing. That's how unfair life is to women."

"It actually is, yes.���

"Well, if you agree with me, then you know what to do next time."

"I'll meet her in the kitchens."

"You what?" 

"She works in the kitchens. Next time I want to ask her a favour, I'll do it there."

"You… you…"

"Look at the colour of your cheeks" Prince Rúben laughed. "She isn't my lover, Romina. Relax."

"Rowena" she whispered. "But if she isn't your lover, what were you talking about?"

"I was asking her a favour, I already told you."

"What kind of favour?"

"Not the one you were thinking about" he smirked, making her cheeks feel warmer. 

"Then tell me."

"I can't, it's a secret."

"What?"

"A secret" he repeated. 

"My prince, you are needed in the stables" a servant said, interrupting their conversation.

"Duty calls” Prince Rúben sighed. “See you around… cupcake" he smiled at Rowena before walking away with the servant.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          

"My lady, may I come in?" a maid asked after knocking on the door.

"Of course" Anne replied. 

"Prince Rúben has sent this for Lady Rice" the girl said, leaving a covered tray on the table.

"For me?" Rowena asked, finally looking up from her book. That maid… She was the one she saw him talking with.

"For you, my lady" she smiled.

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you, my lady. He said that you should see it for yourself."

"I don't like the way that sounds."

"Oh, Rowena. Stop being so distrustful and check what it is!" Anne said.

"Alright, fine" she replied as she slowly lifted the lid that was covering the tray. "No way."

"Cupcakes!" Anne laughed. "Those are cupcakes!"

"How… why… he…" Rowena mumbled, too stunned to say anything coherent.

"The Prince said you liked them and he asked me to make them for you. That was what we were talking about the other day."

"You were talking about cupcakes?"

"Yes, my lady" the maid said. "If I ran away like that, it was because I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

"Oh. I see."

"Isn't it cute, Rowena? He made you cupcakes! Well, not really, but you understand what I mean" Anne chuckled.

"I hope they taste good. I followed a recipe from a book Prince Diogo bought for the kitchens after your engagement was announced. He wanted us to learn some traditional meals from your country so you wouldn't miss home too much."

"Did he?"

"Yes, my lady" the maid smiled.

"Aww, that is so thoughtful! Isn't it, Rowena?" Anne said. But she was still looking at the cupcakes. Prince Rúben had asked someone to make her cupcakes. He had paid attention to what she had told him when they had met. He had remembered. And that also was why he had called her cupcake. "Should we try one?"

"Uh?"

"The cupcakes, Rowena. Should we try one?" Anne asked. "I'm sure she is dying to know if you like them or not."

"I actually am" the girl said. "If you like them, the Prince would like to serve them on your wedding day."

"He… he said that?"

"He did, Lady Rice" she smiled.

"Then we must try them" Anne said. "Looks like he isn't as bad as you thought, uh?"

"Yes... looks like" Rowena replied, her eyes fixed on the small cakes.

[tadpolejourney]

Day 15

I couldn't sleep knowing Gale was sick. His condition looks so painful. I went out after dark, alone, to search for a magical item. Sweet? Certainly. Brave? Possibly. Idiotic? Completely. I still can't think straight when it comes to him. It's bad. Very, very bad. Like could get everyone killed bad. Could get me killed bad.

I found something around sunup and rushed back to camp. I gave it to him as soon as I could. That is, as soon as he finished insistently telling me all about his beloved dream guardian's visit.

When he got the item, he said it had hardly any effect at all, and that he needed to break the silence on something. He finally revealed his big secret.

He talked about how as a prolific wizard he caught the attention of Mystra herself, and purported to be her former lover. That he was tempted by the parts of the Weave that Mystra forbids mortals from accessing. He went on to detail how he thought to produce the grandest gesture his ambitions could muster in order to get access to what he wanted from Mystra, and just how badly that ended for him. He took my hand in his, placed it over his heart, and showed me what he did and what his condition means. He has a Netherese orb in his chest, and if he ever dies or it destabilizes, he will explode and could kill a lot of people.

I asked him this afternoon while we rested at camp about Karsus. He told me the full story, and compared himself to Karsus just to illustrate that he did what he did because he loved Mystra, rather than wanting to undo her as Karsus did. But the first reason he gave for why he did it was to access parts of the Weave that mortals were forbidden from. How is that love, again? Make it make sense. Oops, I think we found his Achilles heels. Both of them.

It all makes sense now. I was reeling but wanted to press us on. I thought I knew my limits. I was wrong.

I nearly fainted in the heat of the day. I'd had too little sleep, too little food, and too little water. I stumbled into Astarion. Luckily I managed to stumble into the person with the quickest reflexes. Unluckily, I stumbled into the person who is also quickest to protect himself first. He caught me before I could go down and take him with me. There was a moment of drama because he immediately pulled a knife on me. He thought I might be transforming. Thankfully I stayed conscious and my words were enough to diffuse the situation. Now Gale knows what I went through to get that item for him.

He also knows that I won't abandon him. So maybe I don't give up on him after all, and take him at his word. I believe what he told me today. I only wish he would have told me the night of the party, or better yet, even sooner than that. For so many reasons, not all of them selfish. He could have avoided getting so sick, because at the time I denied him I had no idea how dire his condition actually is. He could have avoided today being cut short because I'd spent all night hunting for a magical item by myself in the dark. Actually, that one's probably still mostly my fault. Hah.

Also, Shadowheart and Astarion are currently pissed off at him for keeping it a secret so long.

Astarion cracked me up as usual when he was talking to me about Gale. “Who keeps a secret like that from his friends?” It took so much effort for me not to pull a face and burst out laughing. Pot, meet kettle. Also, he readily calls us friends now. I'm truly over the moon about it. Seriously, that warms my heart so much. But again, I would never tell him or let him on to that. Just like I would never tell him that I think he's absolutely the most adorable murderous scoundrel of a vampire spawn I've ever met. I actually love him. As a friend, of course. I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell him so without making things weird. Certainly couldn't tell him that now. He would not know what to do with those words and emotions.

Lae'zel and Shadowheart being on the same side of the fence ended. Their alliance lasted 1 day. Tonight Lae'zel accused Shadowheart of holding onto a githyanki relic and murdering her kind to get it.

I went to talk to Lae'zel about it, but she wouldn't have it. Instead she wanted to talk about something else entirely. She wanted to tell me how I've earned her respect. She complimented my bravery, my strength, my battle prowess, and my leadership. Then she propositioned me for sex. Again. And I said no, as nicely as I could, again. Then I let her tease me to keep her pride so we can still be friends.

That means Astarion and Lae'zel, who are currently banging on the sly (or at least they did once), have each propositioned me for sex twice. I wonder if that means I could have a menage a trois with them if I wanted. Godsdamn it, I wish it were easy for me to get laid. Stupid emotional safety. I'm starting to feel very pent up. I blame Gale.

And so it was, another short day.

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[fuwaprince]

So there's this book called the secret and it has like 12 hidden casques and each one has a little treasure inside. They're buried underground and the one I've been pondering is in golden gate park! I've been obsessed with it. When I wanna distract myself from shitty thoughts I can always count on it to keep me busy. I heard about it at a book fair and then again at a library but I didn't get into it until adulthood maybe like 2 years ago? Everyone calls me crazy and says I use deductive reasoning to get my conclusions and I disagree! Hopefully you do too

Each poem is paired with a pic and no he didn't say which poem belongs to which pic because that would make it too easy

^^This is his beautiful pic for the pearl. He hired an awesome illustrator and handed them tons of specific instructions showing hints to where it is. I bought the book recently

This is the poem that goes with it^^

I think I might have narrowed it down to a very specific spot and I wanna get a permit to dig one day but I'm also very lazy and okay just KNOWING it could be there. I don't need to dig

This is a satellite view of the map!vv

I sectioned it into 4 bits to make it easier to explain. I also marked it up. I gathered all the pics to one ugly ass looking map covered in all my thoughts that I'll attach soon. It's kind of hard to read tho so I'll save the big map collage for after and explain as if we're on the hunt and starting from square 1!

You may notice some resemblance of the rose on a table. The leaves represent different locations. The flower bloom is Speckles Lake! The horizontal lines are JFK Drive. Even the little clock is significant since the tip of the top piece is where the north bathrooms would be.

The red is where we start. At stonewall's door! Hidden on that side of the Angler Lodge is a stone wall and it has this dungeon ass looking door. You can't see it from Google and there's no vids or pics of it. It's super tucked and there's no reason anyone should really stop there to admire it unless they're some architecture freak lol

The door is in the stone wall and I wish I had my old phone because I went and took tons of pics

It looks like that basicallyvvv

We're gonna go 2 lines at a time here while looking at the poem

The stone wall's door was surrounded by sweet smelling flower bushes. I actually smelled them on the trail before I noticed the door. Can't miss the scent! It was so so sweet! (I took pics of them too on my other phone)

I circled the door in red. If you refer back to mini map 1 above you'll see that the white dashes take you down these very stairs!

There's many ways to go but this is the only route I found 3 nearby posts

Post 1 is that lamp post

[citrus-cactus]

Citrus' Art Summary 2023!

The year is almost over, so here's my art summary for 2023! I got this template from here. This is my third year in a row being able to populate every month with a finished(/digital) piece (and really, I did a LOT more than what's shown here!), so that feels like something to celebrate!

Technically some of these choices don’t match up with their post dates; I counted some months as “when I was primarily working on them” and some as “when I actually published them,” but the sentiment remains. Like I said, it was a busy year! :)

Some more rambling + links to all featured artwork beneath the cut:

I remember last year I was quite worried about/was actually teetering on the edge of artistic burnout. There were definitely some months during this year that I felt a bit overwhelmed (particularly during the summer, when I was working on a 5-illustration series in a style that was DEFINITELY outside my norm, PLUS a bunch of other stuff), but I also appreciated the stylistic variety, and doing a lot of sketchbook drawings/marginalia that were(/are) just for me, so they never had to be "finished” or even "good." Even though almost everything pictured here is Digimon(/anime) art, I did experiment with a more "realistic" style for the Dracula Daily series (Aug/Sept), as well as trying to relearn the "Disney" style I started drawing in waaaaaaay back in high school, only now with a LOT more understanding of facial structure and anatomy. Largely, this style shake-up has been incredibly freeing (these are still sketchbook-only studies at this point, but I'm planning on some digital illustrations in the Disney style in 2024). I'm sure they still look pretty anime-influenced, and I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to escape that, but honestly I don't mind; the anime aesthetic IS a part of my preference/style!

Let's see, the prevailing fandoms for what's shown here are Digimon Survive and Adventure 02. I really want to draw more Survive art next year!! Really happy with the collabo between @vidramon and myself (July), and honestly most (if not all) of these pieces. I worked hard, I branched out, I took on some really ambitious projects, and finished a ton of things (looking at you, March! That Knight drawing was a WIP for an entire year, but I finished it instead of abandoning it, which is what usually happens when things sit around that long!). Ultimately, I believe I told (and helped tell!) some great stories through my creative projects and art this year, which is my true goal forever and always.

Honestly I'm happiest with April's drawing. That one was a ton of fun to do, but I would have to work really hard to replicate that coloring style because I don't remember my brushes/settings, ahaha. Sadly this is how it usually goes with coloring for me; I make it up as I go almost every single time, which is why series are so difficult for me. I am nothing if not inconsistent -_-;

I would be remiss to mention that a huge part of my productivity this year was due to setting and tracking monthly goals for myself. I gotta thank everyone on the @campdigimonth server for their help in keeping me organized and motivated throughout the year! I plan on continuing my creative check-in posts in 2024.

Next year, I want to a) make more Survive art (particularly with Survive Week coming up), b) draw some more flippin' gargoyles (CRIIIINGE, but no, cringe is dead, I'mma do what I want!), and c) keep working on my personal project! And I am, once again, thinking about bookbinding. That's a "maybe" for next year as well!

Descriptions and links to the full artwork pictured for each month:

January: Survive Week, Day 5

February: Survive Gang Aromantic Week

March: Knight Unryuuji and Friend

April: “Rose-Tinted” fic illustration

May: Happy Birthday Vi!

June: Happy Birthday Haru Shinkai!

July: Happy 1st Anniversary Survive! (aka BEST SOCK FRIENDS)

August: Dracula, September 13

September: Dracula, September 20

October: Adv 02 Countdown Event, Day 7

November: “Boo!” on the Cob

December: Digimon Secret Santa 2023

[soracities]

hey ! i’m very curious !!

you talked about social media in one of your last posts and i wish you could talk about your relationship with social medias !

honestly i don't know how i would describe my relationship to it simply because i detest like 90% of what social media is about. however i DO try to focus on intentionality and being very mindful of what i use and how i use it. the only social media i use as social media are twitter and instagram but i try to be very careful about the time i spend on them. this is easy for twitter because i have no vested interest in it so i just log in maybe once or twice every few months because i only use it to follow various writers / publishers and see what new releases are upcoming or what books are being talked about. i'll retweet a few quotes / puns / medieval illustrations, make note of books or articles and call it a day for another two months or even more sometimes.

instagram is my "main" one but even then i know how easy it is for me to get caught up in their reels so i try to stay away from that as much as i can (i also despise what it does to music for me): i don't follow brands, influencers, or celebrities (i follow one international musician and like, 3 writers, and that's it)--my feed is predominantly urban gardening / nature / arts accounts, but i use it far more like the morning paper to see what my friends are seeing or follow any little updates in their stories. i have post notifications turned on for some of my closest friends so that the only things i DO get notified on when i'm spending time away from the app are the people whose updates are most important to me--but even then, IG is not my main form of communication because the closest people in my life know how to contact me directly.

again i don't take social media seriously, chiefly because i can't: the idea of needing to be constantly "tuned in" is one i really dislike so i'm never invested in whatever the current trends are. the only consistent main one for me is tumblr and even then i'm on this blog almost exclusively on desktop which limits how i often i log on to begin with. i still try to remain intentional and since it's more an archive or a collection of things i like and want to keep, my main objectives are usually: collect the quotes i want to save, browse my mutuals / favourite blogs, check my inbox when and if i'm able. i can still end up prone to spending more time here than i would like, but i also know that--most of the time, anyway--i'm spending that time gaining something: photos or artwork i love get saved to my computer or notion folders, poems that move me get copied into my ledger or saved on my laptop, links to certain articles get clicked on and read immediately when i can--this is great to stop me from scrolling mindlessly and actually using the time more wisely, but if i can't read it immediately i just move them onto my desktop so i don't forget to read them later on. when i feel i'm still spending too much time here, or simply not devoting enough time to other things that are important to me, i'll set days aside where i do log in and days when i don't.

anyway that's where i'm at with social media at the moment, anon x