#Mikki Sang

[xdeerlybelovedx]

Happy Holidays to @boosterseat3 ! A demon and his spirit wielder ♡

[pablitogavii]

Hiii!!Can you do smth like Gavi and the reader went to Coldplay concert with Mikky and Frenkie,bc Gavi is a big fan of Coldplay?

Thank you🌹Love youuu🙈❣️

Sky full of Stars

Pablo was supper excited about the Coldplay concert coming to Barcelona that he kept talking about it for the whole week to his sister, friends and of course you.

He grew up listening to Coldplay with his sister and there are many beautiful memories that he has with their songs in the background. For your very first date, he took you to the edge of the town where you laid in the trunk of the car looking at the stars and listening to Coldplay...so this was a special even for him.

"Amor, should I wear blanco or azul??" he asked you checking himself out in the mirror while you smiled at his indecisiveness when he looked so handsome no matter what color he chose to wear. But you decided to be helpful so you replied "Tu estas tan guapo cuando te pones blanco.." and he smiled immediately choosing that outfit and leaving to change.

"Así? Dios! Did you change??" Pablo said when he saw that you wore a white top and some shorts in order to match with him which looked so perfect contrasted with the bright red lipstick he loved to see on your lips.

"Mhm..wanted to match with my amorcito" you waled up to him snaking your arms around Pablo's neck while his were on your waist pulling you close and kissing your lips (ofc getting some lipstick on his that you needed to clean afterwards hehe).

Groupchat:

frankiee: ready??

pablo: sí!

aurora: i'm sure pablo is ecstatic!! see ya there!

y/n: he is rora hehe

pablo: shut up hermana!

mikky: we're picking you guys up in five <3

When Frankie and Mikky picked you up, bunch of paparazzi were snapping pictures calling the boy's names which usually annoyed Pablo but nothing could ruin this night for him.

"You guys look so good in matching outfits!" Mikky complimented and you smiled thanking her before laying your head on Pablo's shoulder which he welcomed with a kiss on your head.

When you arrived, there was a large crowd of people laughing, chatting to one another, laughing some more and just spreading positive energy.

"We are going to get you ladies a drink..wait here so we don't lose you" Frankie said kissing Mikky while Pablo still kept a tight hold on your hand unsure if he should leave you alone in the crowds in case you end up getting lost. He was always way too careful when it came to your safety.

"Don't worry, amorcito..I'll wait for you right here" you reassure Pablo going on your tip toes before pecking his lips making him smile and nod his head before leaving wit Frankie towards the bar.

Meanwhile Aurora and Javi joined the two of you giving you hugs before Aurora asked Javi to take a photo of the three of you which he gladly obliged.

aurorapaezg

Coldplay con mia hermanita @y.n.bebe y amiga especial @mikkykiemeneyl! Oh and the boys @javi_begines @pablogavi @frankiedejong

Liked by 100K

Comments:

gavifansss: y/n is so beautiful!!

javi_begines: photo credits??? liked by aurorapaezg

y/n.bebe: best photographer!!

mikkykiemeney: YES! thank you Javi!!

aurorafans: beautiful!

gavigirl: not aurora calling y/n her hermanita OMGGG!

pablogavi: gee we feel special lololol

y.n.bebe: you are special <3

pablogavi: babyyyyy<33

gaviiigaviii: aweee she so cute!!

fanssbarcawags: power couples at the concert!!

mikkykiemeney: me obsessing with y/n's outfit!!!

y.n.bebe: luv you bonita!

frankiedejong: let's have fun!!

"You look so good hermanita! My hermano is a lucky cabrón!" Aurora said and you laughed before hearing "yeah he is!" behind you as Pablo's arms snaked your your waist from behind and he kissed the side of your neck before giving you the promised drink.

"Gracias amor.." you say sweetly blushing a little that he was very touchy in public which isn't often but you weren't complaining.

When the music started, everyone sang and danced taking a few videos for memory before putting phones away to enjoy the moment fully.

Then they started singing "Sky full of Stars" making Pablo immediately look down at you rested in his arms the same moment you looked up at him with a smile remembering that night of your first date.

"Dance with me linda?" he said and you blushed nodding your head while snaking your arms around his neck while he pulled you in closer and you started to slow dance like nobody else existed..like you were the only two people on Earth.

"Que preciosos!" Aurora whispered to everyone and they all smiled at how i love you two looked at each other enjoying your special moment.

Mikky took her phone and took a video of you and a few pictures to send to you knowing you would want to remember this moment in te future.

"I love you..did you know that??" Pablo said with a big smile and you smile nodding your head before kissing his lips softly.

"I know that..and I love you too Pablito!" you smile resting your forehead against his as the song ended and everyone cheered.

"Que romantico!" Aurora teased her brother taking off his cap and putting on your head before leaving with Javi to grab another drink while you blushed looking at Pablo whose eyes were sparkling looking at you.

"Check you phone" Mikky winked before she left with Frankie and you did smiling wide at the video and pictures they took of the two of you dancing.

y.n.bebe and pablogavi

Coldplay Concert

Cause you're the sky full of stars <3 @pablogavi @coldplay

Liked by 200K

Comments:

pablogavi: mi princesa preciosa

y.n.bebe: te amo<3

aurorapaezg: mi hermano y su princesa!!!

paezfamforevaa: this is so adorable!! aurora ships them too!

mikkykiemeney: me catching this moment like a pro!!

y.n.bebe: graciasss mikky! besitooosss <3333

barcawagssfav: love her smile!!

gavigavi: most adorable couple!!

gaviraispreciousboy: idk if i'm jealous, or happy, or both AWWW

pablitogavifan: the reason fans don't hate on this girl is because she is real and honest! others only used situations to get fame and you can tell this girl truly loved pablo! Always support love! <3

liked by pablogavi

When you came home, you were both ecstatic of the feeling from the whole night laying in bed together cuddling up and watching the video of you dancing on repeat..it looked like it was from some fictional show.

"We need Coldplay to play on our wedding.." Pablo said and you blushed looking up and and putting your phone away.

"Our wedding?" you said shyly and he nodded kissing your lips before pulling you closer wishing you sweet dreams while your heart was pounding hard against your chest after hearing those words..your and Pablo's wedding.

Hope you like it! Did Pablo go the concert??

[patchouliauthor]

Head Over Heels | Shawn Spencer X F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. Oral sex (M! receiving), unprotected p in v, sort of subby Shawn.

Word Count: 3060

A/N: This took me so long because I've been busy with school and work but it is finally here. Hope you guys love it!

Summary: You meet Shawn at a bar and hit it off quickly.

Finally, you were done with your thesis and the research needed to graduate with your masters in behavioral analysis. To celebrate, your friends brought you out to your favorite karaoke club.

You had the best friends in the world; Janine, Mikki, and their boyfriends Larry and Garrett. Janine and Mikki were your roommates in undergrad. 

Mikki brought many guys back to your dorm room during the years you lived together, and not one of them were good enough for her and you made sure they knew. Then one day she brought home Garrett, and you just smiled at him as he left. Janine however stayed with the first guy she dated, Larry. He worshiped the ground that Janine walked on, and so you were cool with him too.

The karaoke bar was packed, but you had a perfect seat to watch people go up there and try their hand at the karaoke machine. One poor, very drunk, guy walked up and started singing “Wheel in the Sky” by Journey, and you were afraid you were going to watch this man’s soul leave his body with the amount of force he was putting into it. 

“Why don’t you get up there and sing?” Larry asked you.

“No thanks!” You scoffed. You could carry a tune but you were not much of a singer, plus you had not nearly had enough alcohol to give you the confidence to go up there.

“Leave her alone Larry, we’re here to celebrate!” Mikki said.

You all took a shot of… something. It didn’t taste good but it wasn’t really supposed to. It burnt going down and you made a slight face, but it started to do the job almost instantly.

“So now that you’ve got your degree, are you looking to settle down?” Janine asked.

“Any cute boys?” Mikki followed up.

“Not at the moment, no.” You giggled. “Oh come on, there must be someone.” Mikki said.

“When the right guy comes around, you will be the first to know.” You said.

“Let’s drink to that.” Garrett said and you all took swigs of the drinks in front of you.

After about a half an hour of mediocre singing and too many drinks, they finally convinced you to go up there. You took a few seconds to pick the song until you found it. Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears. It was perfect. You pressed play and the familiar intro played. You heard the door open and you watched as two men walked in. One was bald, wearing a button up shirt tucked into khaki colored dress pants and nice shoes. The other had brown hair and a leather jacket on, and they both lit up as they heard what song was playing. Quickly, it was your turn to sing.

“I wanted to be with you alone…” You started. The men looked up at you in amazement. Maybe you were a better singer than you thought, or maybe you were just incredibly drunk. Either way, this song was going to get sung and it was going to be by you.

You kept singing, and the brunette man never took his steely gaze off of you.

“Something happens and I’m head over heels. I never find out, ‘til I’m head over heels.” You sang loud and clear. He smiled.

When the song wrapped up, not only your table of friends applauded loudly, but so did many others in the bar, including the leather jacket wearing mystery man.

When you came down from the stage, you saw the man watching you the whole way to your table. You knew you had to talk to him, and as soon as your friends saw who you were looking at, they agreed.

“Go over there!” Janine said.

“I swear Y/N if you don’t go over there I will.” Mikki said, much to the dismay of Garrett.

You giggled and then walked towards him just to go past him and go to the bar; you do not chase men. Luckily, he apparently does the chasing and meets you at the bar.

“You sounded great up there. You a big Tears for Fears fan?” He asked.

“Oh I love them. I would play their CD’s while studying all the time. My favorite CD is Songs from the Big Chair.” You answer. 

“Mine too. My name is Shawn. Shawn Spencer.” He said.

“My name is Y/N. Nice to meet you.” You said.

You small-talked for a while, finding out the man with him is named Gus, despite Shawn attempting to give him a fake name. You also found out they work for and run a psychic detective agency. That made you laugh.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“You? You’re a psychic?” You asked.

“Is that so hard to believe?” He asked back.

“I mean, you don’t strike me as the ‘psychic’ type.” You said with air quotes.

“Here let me show you.” He said.

“You just finished your masters degree… that’s why you're here… you’re celebrating.” He said.

“Not bad.” You said, not quite impressed yet. “What’s my degree in?” You asked.

“My first assumption is being drop dead gorgeous, because it seems like you are an expert in that field. My second guess however, behavioral analysis.” He said.

“Wow. Color me impressed.” You said back. “One final question. Are you an Aries?” You asked.

“I am. How did you know?” He asked.

“You tell me. Maybe I’m a little psychic. Or maybe it’s hyper-observation, my masters degree, and a lucky guess.” You said.

He laughed. “Could I perhaps get your number?”

You looked over at your table to see Mikki and Janine staring at you. You held back a giggle as you wrote it down on a napkin and handed it over.

You strutted away to your table with your drink in hand. Your friends could barely hold back their excitement when you sat down and started smiling at them.

“So?” Janine asked.

“Are we the ‘first to know?’” Mikki asked, quoting you from earlier.

“You may just be.” You said.

~

Meeting up with Shawn became a pass-time. He often ran into you, claiming it was “fate” or “psychic abilities.” You still weren’t sold on the idea of being psychic. Everything you learned for your degree told you that he was probably just hyper-observant, but his skills prove to be almost superhuman sometimes. Maybe he was a lab experiment gone wrong. Or maybe it had something to do with his dad that he never talks about fondly. 

You learned a lot about him and he learned a lot about you too, and you found yourself falling for him. He was funny, quick-witted, had amazing but also questionable music taste, and was unfortunately incredibly good-looking.

He did seem to be sort of a womanizer, but you couldn’t blame him. You were also a sort of player, when you had time to be. In undergrad you broke many hearts, but once grad school started you didn’t have time for games, and you hoped that those days were over. You had a feeling that the games were just started now that you are getting involved with Shawn Spencer, but you still wanted to give it a try.

You got a call from Shawn while you were watching the channel 8 news.

“Hello?” You picked up.

“The owner did it.” He said. You were watching a report about a robbery at a local store. How he knew that you were watching the news, you didn’t know, but you had gotten used to that.

“Did the eye contact avoidance give it away to you too?” You asked him.

“You are good. Almost as good as me.” He said.

“Well I do have a degree.” You joked.

“You do indeed. Now, what would you say to a ride on my motorcycle and dinner under the stars?” He asked.

“I’d say that’s too good to be true. When do I need to be ready?” You asked back.

“Um, now?” He said.

You looked out your window and saw Shawn parked by your apartment building with a bouquet of flowers. 

“Be right out.” You said.

~

Shawn drove you to a beautiful clearing a bit out of the city on his bike. The sun was just setting and it made the whole area golden, including Shawn. He grabbed your hand and began walking towards the center of the clearing. Once you were past some of the higher grass, you saw a picnic basket and a big blanket, complete with two glasses and a big bottle of rosé.You chuckled thinking about Shawn buying what appeared to be an expensive bottle, and immediately realized it was probably with the help of Gus and his credit card. You made a mental note to get Gus a gift in return for Shawn spending his money.

Shawn led you to the blanket and then sat down, opening the picnic basket and pulling out all of your favorite picnic foods. You try to recall telling him your favorite foods, but you can’t. He’s either a really good psychic or an incredibly good stalker. You didn’t think too hard on that last thought as he looked up at you smiling. He took the glasses and poured you some of the champagne. You took a sip and let the alcohol burn your throat.

You didn’t talk much, just occasionally cracking jokes, taking sips, and picking at the food he brought. You rarely ever felt as content as you did in Shawn’s presence.

“You are so beautiful.” Shawn said, barely above a whisper while you were looking at the stars that recently became visible.

You turned to look him in the eyes to find he was looking at your lips. You hadn’t kissed him yet but god did you want to. It’s not that he hadn’t tried to before, because he had, you just wanted to play hard to get. You knew that tonight that you didn’t have that resolve.

He smiled as he lifted his eyes to meet yours. You were suddenly aware of how close he was; you could smell the mint toothpaste and rosé on his breath. 

“Please.” Is all he could muster to say, and with that single syllable your lips were on his. It was a sweet kiss, so sweet you wished it was your first kiss ever. His lips brushed over yours so gently you were afraid he was going to pull away. Instead, he leaned in further and deepened the kiss. His hand reached up to the back of your head to pull you even closer to him. You obliged, scooting closer on the picnic blanket and knocking over your half full champagne glasses onto the grass.

You reached up to place your hand on the back of his head. You couldn’t help yourself and you tugged lightly on the short hairs on the nape of his neck. At the feeling, he whimpered the slightest bit. To try and cover it up he lightly pushed you until you were on your back and he was hovering above you.

“That was a dirty move.” He said as his lips moved down to your neck teasingly. You tried to keep your composure but his words made you squirm a little and you felt him smile against the skin of your neck.

Things quickly picked up speed, and as he feverishly kissed your lips he put his knee in between your legs at the perfect spot. You did your best to rub against his knee without him noticing, but you failed. He pulled away from you.

“Tsk. Naughty, naughty.” He said, smirking.

“Shawn, please.” You said, frustration evident.

“Oh, poor thing. Do you want to fuck you right here in the field?” He said, mocking you. You moaned at his words. 

“No. I want our first time to be special. Get up.” He said and quickly got off of you. You just blinked at him in surprise and didn’t move. He reached a hand out to you. “Come on, I’ll take you back to my place.”

You reached up to grab his hand and he pulled you to your feet. He kept hold of your hand and started walking towards his bike.

“What about the picnic stuff?” You asked.

“Do you really care about that right now?” He asked back.

You smiled at him before shaking your head no. He smiled back and started pulling you towards his bike. You weren’t certain in the dark, but when he turned it looked like his jeans were becoming a little too tight for his comfort. 

Once you were both on the bike, he began flying towards his apartment. It was so fast but not fast enough, and you were needing more friction to soothe the problem Shawn had started. You tried to secretly grind down on the motorcycle seat. It was helping but not enough, so you began to pick up speed. Your breath was getting funny at the contact, and it was moments before Shawn noticed.

He didn’t stop you. Something about you getting off on his bike was making him go feral. He even fantasized about fucking you over top of it while you wore his leather jacket. He needed you as much as you needed him. It was then you both looked over and realized you were about to pass the Psych office. As much as he wanted to make your first time special, he had to have you right then and there, so he pulled over and hurried to the door, leaving you on the bike. You followed right behind him as he fiddled with the key to the door. 

He unlocked the door and pushed you inside, immediately finding your mouth with his in the darkness. He shut and locked the door behind him without ever leaving your skin. Your lips never left his as you both walked back until your knees hit the leather couch by the window and you sat back onto it. His lips left yours and he yanked his shirt over his head swiftly before returning to you. As you kissed him you fiddled with his belt until you were able to pull his pants down, showing off the tent in his boxers. You didn’t give him time to think before you yanked his boxers down, showing off his large cock.

“Woah, slow down.” He whined. “You’re still fully clothed.” 

You didn’t care, and you reached to grab his length, pumping him up and down. He threw his head back. You loved to see him like this, and while he was blissed out from the pleasure your hand was giving him, you put your mouth on him. 

“Oh Jesus, doll. You’re gonna kill me.” He said.

You bobbed up and down on his length, and what you couldn’t fit you stoked with your hand. He grabbed your hair back into a ponytail while you pleasured him, reaching your other hand down to rub yourself through your jeans.

“You feel so good.” He choked out. You could tell that he was resisting the urge to fuck your mouth. You released him with a pop and pumped him with your hand, feeling the wetness from your mouth and the precum leaking from his tip.

“I need you so bad.” He said, pupils blown out with lust.

“Come and get me.” You said back.

Wrong thing to say.

You had never had your clothes taken off of you so fast in your life. In seconds you were completely naked, on your back with him hovering over top of you. He lined himself up with your entrance before looking into your eyes.

“Tell me to stop.” He said.

“I can’t.” You said back. He gave you a swift kiss and then rested his forehead on yours as he pushed himself into you. You moaned in harmony with him. He waited for you to adjust to him before he moved.

“Just tell me when, sweetheart.” He said. You couldn’t make out words so you kissed him to signal you were ready.

He pushed in and out of you slowly, filling you up with each stoke. He was taking his time with you, savoring the moment of you under him on the leather couch. Everytime he comes back to work he's going to think of you taking his cock right here.

He started to speed up and you moaned. “Kiss me.” You said and he obliged. As he filled you up below, his tongue explored every inch of your mouth. Both of you were sweating, moaning messes.

You could feel yourself getting so precariously close to the edge. You knew you only needed a little bit more to get you there. It was at this moment that Shawn reached down and starting rubbing circles on your clit, adding just the right amount of pressure. How did he know that was what you wanted so badly? Maybe he is psychic. The way he touched you exactly where you wanted without you having to say a word made you think he just might be.

You were thrown headfirst over the edge. The feeling was so good you thought you might cry. His hips faltered as he pulled out of you clumsily, releasing all over your stomach. Before he got too soft, he shoved himself back into you and rested his head on your shoulder. You both panted as you came down from your highs.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you at the karaoke bar.” He said, still out of breath.

“Well after tonight, I think you’ll have many more chances to do it again.” You said and smiled. He returned your smile.

“Do you think we should probably leave now so we don’t forget to by the time Gus comes in in the morning?” You asked.

“That is the first time someone has mentioned Gus right after having sex.” He said.

“Shawn.” You said laughing.

He laughed too and got up to find something to clean you off with. After he cleaned you up, you both got dressed and rode back to his apartment, where he got to go at you all over again. You knew that no matter what, you would never forget your time with Shawn in the Psych office, mostly because he’d always be there to remind you of it.

[hernando-valdez]

Traición | Self-Para

tldr; first & vine was trashed and hernando is spiraling

The weight that Hernando had been feeling for weeks had finally started to lift. Even with the chaos that had presented itself with Mikki's dynamic with Los Santos, he felt like he could at the very least get a hold on everything. He and Lyla were on steady ground, Penny was getting the B&B up and running and his mother was in good spirits. Great spirits even. Enough that she was starting to spend more time out of the house and had even helped him out a few days at the shop. Life wasn't good but it was getting there and the idea of finally getting shit balanced had started to settle his emotions. It helped that he was drinking a little less and spending more time working out and mediating. Preparing for whatever came next.

But nothing could have prepared him for this.

He had foolishly left his phone on the counter in his kitchen as he tidied up the house. His mother was out with one of her sisters and Lyla had already left for work after spending the night. It was a nice moment of solitude and he had the music in the house blasting loud as he wiped things down and sang along. But then the music kept getting disrupted by his ring tone and he sighed as he started coming down the stairs. "Finally a moment to think and people can't leave me alone? The shop better be on fire, coño," he yelled out and finally grabbed his phone. Suddenly the music seemed too loud and like he couldn't hear it at all as he started reading the article, if one could even call it that. He felt his chest tighten and for a moment he thought he might have been transported to his own nightmares. He read it again, and again and every word had his blood feeling like it could boil right out of him.

The emotions came in waves. The fear at having his Los Santos history put out there so plainly was the first wave. Something he had so meticulously cared for and hidden for his entire life. Lies told, moments missed and so much more. All of that work for some coward behind a screen to lay it out like it was just another story in the paper. It made him feel more vulnerable and laid bare than he ever had in his life before. Like every move he made could be his last and he felt like the ground was slipping from underneath them.

The second wave had everything to do with Alejandra. The woman he had basically given his life to. His loyalty, so much of his time. Nights and days. In the early years when things started to split in two, he stood by her, loved her even. He thought they had found trust in each other and he had been so eager to show her that she could rely on him. He was her confidant, her soldier, her most reliable and for a long stretch of time a man he had convinced himself she loved. But not only had she kept him where he was, she had sought to remove the very man from his life who meant the most to him. He and his father didn't agree but now he understood why his father had stood against her so firmly. And Hernando had been the idiot at her side. Of course they hadn't been intimate in years. Alejandra had started to pull away and she had no longer seen it appropriate as he became a Capo. The distance was clear but Hernando had foolishly thought that she still thought of him fondly, trusted him.

But that trust was clearly withered when she hadn't chosen him to rise any higher, to be trusted with the kind of power that could really make an impact. He had brushed it off, told himself that she meant it when she said she needed him exactly where she was. And then his father had died.

The third wave was an odd sense of vindication. An affirmation that he hadn't been losing his mind when he thought his father's death had been suspicious. Everyone had told him how much it made sense. The doctor's, his sister, his mother, his friends. And yet he knew that things hadn't added up. That his father had been doing well before he suddenly wasn't alive anymore. And now he knew the truth. The person he had given all his trust to had betrayed him. And not only that, had stood beside him at his father's funeral as if she had sympathized. As if she cared. As if she still loved him. As if she ever had.

He could have broken that phone right in his hands but instead he angrily pushed one of his speakers onto the floor, stopping the music as the thoughts in his head started to bang around like a percussion band. What was his next move? Where did he go? Who did he talk to? He moved through the house as his head pounded, trying to think of all the things he needed to put away in the safe. He tried not to keep everything on the property but he tore apart his room making sure he didn't forget a single thing. He thought about the fact that people who had known him for his entire life would now know what he actually did for a living and his heart ached so deeply that he had to pause to brace himself against the wall.

As he did, he caught a glimpse of the picture frames by his bedside of the people he loved and something clicked in him.

He quickly gathered his things and locked up the house, doing his best to clear his head as he got in his truck and quickly pulled out of his driveway. His main focus was what was held on the basement floor of the flower shop. But as he got into town, he started to become more aware of the reality of it all and drove faster, not wanting to give anyone a single second to stare too long. But as he turned down the block to the shop, he could see the smashed windows from there. Flowers spilled out all over the pavement. "Hijo de la gran puta," he yelled out, pounding his hands onto the steering wheel as he came to a stop. Just as he got his head together he felt like he was spiraling all over again as he hoped out of the car and started to see the real damage. Someone had graffitied the walls to say "criminal" and "leave our town." The display cases were wrecked and none of his staff were anywhere to be found. There were people walking by taking photos and yet he ignored them all as he stepped over glass and took the familiar path down to the basement.

Also empty and it occurred to him whether or not Alejandra would be closing rank. Whether he'd turn up at madre tierra or the boxing ring to find himself locked out. Would any of them call? Would they back him or would they fall in line with her like he had all those years back then? He could feel his chest tightening again but he pushed on as he unlocked the safe revealing weapons and money. Things he had earned for them. Things he had put himself through blood sweat and tears for and he piled them into bags. He knew it was only a matter of time before the cops came sniffing. Before they tried to get him and turn him. Thinking they could use his anger against Alejandra to his advantage. But he wasn't going to be anyone's puppet anymore.

Fuck that.

With his bags full, he shot off a text to Penny, then Mikki, then Lyla before pulling his phone apart and smashing the sim card below his boot. He grabbed a few of the burners they kept and threw them into the bags as well, sliding one of them into his pocket. There was only one way out of this and there was no entity that could help him but him. He was going to end this and he was going to get his revenge. Even if it killed him.

Hernando left out the back door, leaving his empty truck parked in front. He instead took one of the delivery vans, figuring it would get him far enough before he could switch it out for a car he had stashed about a half hour away. He wasn't running, but he wasn't going to stay right in town while the world fell down on him. He needed some space to think and going somewhere that few people knew of was his best bet.

He eased out of the Tonopah Valley town limits, reaching for one of the burner phones to let Lyla know he was alright and where to meet him later. As much as he wanted to leave her way out of this he knew he wouldn't survive without her. So this time he was going to pull her close and keep her safe. But his next call was to someone he knew he could trust. Someone who had also been wronged by the woman who had once ruled his world.

The phone rang a few times and Nando let out a sigh of relief when he picked up.

"McCoy, I need your help."

[indignantlemur]

A mix for Anlenthoris th'Kor, the Andorian Ambassador to Earth and Tellar.

SPOTIFY LINK: HERE

Song list with lyric samples below the cut!

Ironfoot (Extended Edition) - Howard Shore [Instrumental]

From The North - Runrig & Paul Mounsey [From the north came a warrior Bearing burdens dark and deep I've a will and I've a wanting And miles to go before I sleep I have horses in my stable I have sons fit to fight I will bring this to your table If you ride with me this night]

As Cold As It Gets - Dustin Kensrue [To the end of the Earth, I'll search for your face For the one who laid all of our beauty to waste Threw our hope into Hell and our children in the fire I am the one who crawled through the wire I am the one who crawled through the wire There's a million sad stories by the side of the road Strange how we all just got used to the blood A million sad stories that'll never be told Silent and froze in the mud Silent and froze in the mud]

Crow On The Cradle - Show of Hands ["The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn, Now is the time for a child to be born. He'll laugh at the moon and he'll cry for the sun, And if it's a boy he will carry a gun," Sang the crow on the cradle

"And if it should be that this baby's a girl, Never you mind if her hair doesn't curl. With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, And a bomber above her wherever she goes," Sang the crow on the cradle]

The Wondersmith and His Sons - Astronautalis [A smile safe-crackers understand, Is rendering this steady hand, Obsolete. The charm and confidence of men, Can jam the bullets in your gun, And stop heartbeats]

World on Fire - Les Friction [I'll return from darkness and will save your precious skin I will end your suffering and let the healing light come in Sent by forces beyond salvation There can't be not one sensation World on fire with a smoking sun Stops everything and everyone Brace yourself for all will pay Help is on the way]

Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko [So you feel entitled to a sense of control And make decisions that you think are your own You are a stranger here, why have you come? Why have you come, lift me higher, let me look at the sun Look at the sun and once I hear them clearly, say Who, who are you really? And where are you going? I have nothing left to prove 'Cause I have nothing left to lose See me bare my teeth for you Who, who are you?]

Brother, My Brother - Michael Lanning [And His eyes will look away For His heart will so be torn As His fields of gold turn scarlet From the rage of battle born And the silence of the night Will be broken with the cries Of the ones who've been forgotten On the quiet field where honor lies]

The War - SMYL [Here stands a man With a bullet in his clenched right hand Don't push him, son For he's got the power to crush this land Oh hear, hear him cry, boy]

Daniel in the Den - Bastille [And you thought the lions were bad Well, they tried to kill my brothers And felled in the night by the ones you think you love They will come for you]

Hurt - Johnny Cash [And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt]

Davy Jones' Theme - City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra [Instrumental]

[rei-the-head-shaker]

26th of June - 2nd of July

“Cold” by Corbyn  🖤

"Losing Game" by LEO

"I'll Be There" by Johnny

"tokyo" by Lyle Kam

"Yellow" by Cameron Philip

"Rainy Day" by

"Sinner" by KAI

"가져가" by 모네

"JOTTO" by BIBI 🖤

"Holy" by Elias 🖤

"Today" by CITI

"Breathing Underwater" by JIAN 🖤

"I Hope You're Well" by Heo Hoy Kyung 🖤

"Lovers" by Budung

"Starfall - Honkai Impact 3rd Ost - Impressions" by TIA RAY, HOYO-MiX

"Venus" by Dvii

"Once Upon a December" by Invadable Harmony

"Saturn" by Lyn Lapid

"The Longing" by Tamino 🖤

"star tripping" by Kevin Atwater

"icarus?" by serin oh

"Cry For Love" by BAEKHYUN

"Darkness At The Heart Of My Love" by Ghost 🖤

"Nightglow" by Tanya Chua 🖤

"Summer Flower" by Heon, Son Jiwook 🖤

"In Madness" by Constance

"Knock Me Out" by MIYAVI, Mikky Ekko

"GHOST" by Zior Park

"Creep" by 김 형우, 아일, Ha Hyun Sang, 홍 진호 🖤

"Weaved Theme" by Sebastian Reuten

[minaramen]

Tamaki Yotsuba - 16 Idol Album - Part 3: Someday I’ll keep that promise

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Tamaki: For me, Ousama pudding has always been the energy source for keeping the promise I made to mum, back then

Tamaki: Of course it’s delicious, but it also helps me be sure that I’m really doing my best, like I did that day

Tamaki:...but, right now I’m not keeping that promise…

Mitsuki: You idiot! You’re keeping the promise! Tamaki…!

Tamaki: W-wah..! Don’t cry, Mikki!

Yamato:....well, I can’t help it, personally…

Nagi: Tamaki, you’ve been making people happy since when you were a kid. You were a real entertainer

Iori: I’ve always wondered about that extraordinary temperament of yours….is it due to your mother and sister?

Tamaki: W-what’s going on… you're praising me so much!

Riku: You’re a really good big brother. You sang, you danced for your mother and your little sister…

Riku: I’ve always thought I was forcing Tenn nii to do too much for me, but maybe he was genuinely acting like that while thinking about us, just like Tamaki. I don’t know

Iori: It has nothing to do with forcing somebody. This is just your brother complex coming out

Tamaki: Ahah, yes! I wasn’t forcing myself…I was really happy to illuminate other people’s lives, like the most brightening star 

Sogo:...........

Tamaki: What’s with that grim face, Sou chan? Are you angry?

Sogo: Aah…I’m sorry. I’m not angry

Sogo: I don’t want to be misunderstood…should I talk with a big smile?

Tamaki: No, this is even scarier. What’s going on?

Sogo:......it’s frustrating

Sogo: You became an idol in order to keep that promise. You went through a lot of pain you shouldn’t have experienced 

Sogo: Now, you have everybody’s support. You make Idolish7’s fans, MEZZO”’s fans…and…

Sogo: Yotsuba Tamaki’s fans smile lots and lots and lots…

Sogo: Obviously, we’re acutely aware of how much Aya chan means to you

Sogo: However, it’s still frustrating hearing you put everything away as if you’re not “keeping that promise”

Tamaki: ….Sou chan….

Yamato: MEZZO” guys are terrible…they’re making me cry for another reason too

Tamaki: I’m sorry…I mean…thank you

Tamaki: I was feeling so alone in the world since mum and Aya were not with me anymore

Tamaki: I treated everything I saw like an enemy. But now it’s different

Nagi:...yes. You changed a lot since the days when you used to point the sword against others, ready to harm in order not to be harmed yourself

Nagi: Now that you've thrown that sword away you can gently wrap everything up, including your old self. You’re a kind person

Tamaki:...thanks, Nagicchi. Momorin told me that I’m kind too

Tamaki: The fact that I have friends like you is the reason why I know that I’m not like my asshole father 

Mitsuki: Y-yes…t-that’s good, Tamaki…

Riku: I like having you sit next to me without saying a word, just playing your games, when I’m half asleep

Iori: Well, I think that your ability to read the atmosphere and act like you don’t care - in a good way - is kinda amazing

Tamaki: Are you possibly praising me?

Iori: I am

Yamato: We’re trying to make things a little bit easier for you, and your fans are doing the same

Yamato: How about 400 puddings

Sogo: Yeah. I could  buy a manufacturing industry of pudding for you and it wouldn't be enough 

Tamaki: Hey, Sou chan! Stop with these kinds of jokes!

Riku:.....was it a joke?

Iori: I guess the only ones who can keep up with a joke about the son of a distinguished family are Yotsuba san, Rokuya san and Midou san…?

Mitsuki: Hey! There’s also someone else who got it!

Tamaki: Aah…I feel like there was no point in worrying about all those things. Because everybody’s spoiling me so much right now!

Tamaki:...there was a misunderstanding between me and Aya in North Meir, but a day will come when we’ll understand each other. Because we’re real siblings 

Tamaki: It’ll be frustrating until then, but Tenten is watching over Aya

Riku:........

Tamaki: Kujou is an asshole, but I know he’s giving Aya a warm home and warm meals…

Riku:....yes

Tamaki: But he’s still an asshole!

Riku: He is!

Tamaki: However, one day…I want to be the one giving Aya a delicious meal. And I want us to eat it together, inside a warm home

Tamaki: I’m sure we’ll argue sometimes, but then we can just eat Ousama pudding and make up, laughing together

Sogo:........I’m sure that day will come

Sogo: I’m not sure people can totally understand each other, just by being a family, but…

Sogo: It’s definitely fine as long as you care about each other

Riku: …let’s do our best together, Tamaki! Without giving up! 

Tamaki: Yes. Let’s do our best, Rikkun

Nagi:......peekaboo!!

Mitsuki:...waah! What the heck are you doing, Nagi?! You scared me!

Nagi: It’s the english version of “inai inai baa”

Nagi: You were good at playing it, weren’t you, Tamaki?

Tamaki: Ahah, oh, well! But your face was still beautiful, Nagicchi! Making a funny expression isn’t enough!

Nagi: Oh…sometimes even beauty can be a shame

Tamaki: I mean, everybody should be able to roll their eyes. That’s what I call a weird face. No leniency allowed. And being somewhere in the middle is the first thing to avoid

Sogo: The “inai inai baa” world has strict rules, apparently…

Riku: Yes, and I can’t cross my eyes without using fingers

Iori: I don’t understand how using your fingers could help you cross your pupils. They would still be in their place

Riku: Really? No way!

Mitsuki: You should be pretty good at doing it, old man! C’mon!

Yamato: I’m not a master, but….here!

Riku: Ahahah! Yamato san, all your face went down! That’s quite a weird face! Look, Iori!

Iori: Nikaido san, be sure to avoid this face in public, please

Yamato: Who would do it in public, anyway?!

Tamaki: Iorin, Sou chan, you try as well

Iori: What? Why me…?

Sogo: Let’s do it, Iori kun. If we learn how to make weird faces, I think we’ll be able to make children laugh as well. Just like Tamaki kun used to do

Iori:...by doing so, we could gain new Idolish7 fans among children as well. Understood. Let’s do it

Sogo: Ready….

Yamato&Mitsuki&Tamaki&Nagi&Riku:...........

Tamaki: You look like two girls taking selfies. You’re making the same expressions

Sogo&Iori: What…

Mitsuki: Ahah! More than weird, you were adorable!

Nagi: Sogo, your face got all round when you held your breath! It was so cute!

Mitsuki: Iori, your contracted lips gave you a cute look as well!

Yamato: You’re pretty cunning guys, aren’t you?

Iori: A-as an idol, what I did was totally fine! Even if it wasn’t a weird face, it could make children become our fans…!

Sogo: I tried to emphasize the mimic muscles I usually don’t use, but I think I failed…

Tamaki: Mikki, you seem like you're good at making weird faces too!

Mitsuki: Well, I’m pretty confident

Mitsuki: Get ready, then! My weird faces survived many battlefields, just so you know!....Look!

Tamaki: Pff…ahahah! You pushed your tongue up to the tip of your nose! Ahahah!

Sogo: Amazing… you really know what you’re doing…

Yamato: Sou, please, you don’t have to imitate…

Iori: N-nii san…

Nagi: Mitsuki…

Yamato: Why are the two of you making such displeased expressions?

Riku: It’s amazing, Tamaki! Your “Inai inai baa” memory is making so many people laugh! I’m sure Aya chan remembers it too!

Tamaki: Ahah, yes…I hope so

Tamaki: By the way, I’ll buy Ousama pudding for everybody. Let’s eat it together

Mitsuki: Yeah! Let’s have a pudding party!

Yamato: Won’t you get angry if I eat one?

Tamaki: I’ll only get angry if you eat mine!

Tamaki: Ousama pudding is a special memory that I shared with Aya and with mum. Now, I want to share it with you guys as well

Nagi: Nice idea! Since it’s gonna be a memory, let’s take a picture!

Riku: Let’s take one where everybody makes a weird face!

Iori: Stop leaving proof around. I can already imagine you being careless as always and showing the picture in public…

Sogo: Thank you, Tamaki kun. I look forward to it

Tamaki: Yes. I want to have this party with everybody who makes me feel special. Let’s eat Ousama pudding and laugh our heads off, all together!

End

TL notes: 

Next up: Haruka’s Winter Date

[doe-rose-q]

I am soooo excited to share my epic Bethyl playlist with you! I have named it “Big Bethyl MOOD”:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1dSgNYDMqwSWEphWjSncRc?si=iSZ-IPNZSWaLwXrMgLF-BA&dl_branch=1

The songs on this list were chosen via many sources. I obviously included the two songs by Emily Kinney—the cover song she sangam Beth Greene in “Alone”—“Be Good” by Waxahatchee—for Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon, the one she wrote and sang—“Last Chance”—which was on her 3rd album—Expired Love—that she said has Beth and Daryl vibes. Other obvious choices was the song played at the end of “Still” while Daryl and Beth burned down the moonshine shack—“Up the Wolves” by the Mountain Goats—and the two songs that Norman has essentially said give him his own Bethyl feels—“Very Nervous and Love” by J Mascis and “Drowning Man” by U2. The rest of them are songs I have personally selected that put me in a big Bethyl mood, songs that other Bethyl shippers have suggested for me to make song lyric photo edits for, songs from the huge plethora of Bethyl music video tributes on YouTube, as well as from other Bethylers’ playlists that are inspired by this beloved pairing. 🐞💘💘🐍

For those of you who don’t have a Spotify account, below is the full list... just in case you would like to build your own playlist on a different listening/streaming music platform that you prefer.👇😁

Enjoy! ❤️

1.)“Be Good”- Emily Kinney

2.) “Up the Wolves” - The Mountain Goats

3.) “Very Nervous and Love” - J Mascis

4.) “Saturn” - Sleeping At Last

5.) “She is the Sunlight” - Trading Yesterday

6.) “Wings” - Birdy

7.) “Look After You” - The Fray

8.) “Secret” - Angel Snow

9.) “lovely” - Billie Eilish with Khalid

10.) “Off I Go” - Greg Laswell

11.) “Asleep” - Emily Browning

12.) “Echo” - Jason Walker

13.) “Harbor” - Vienna Teng

14.) “Every Mile Mattered” - Nichole Nordeman

15.) “To Tundra” - Los Campesinos!

16.) “To Build a Home” - Cinematic Orchestra

17.) “Breathe Me” - Sia

18.) “Iris” - The Goo Goo Dolls

19.) “Halo” - Beyoncé

20.) “Everything” - Lifehouse

21.) “Fire and Ice” - Within Temptation

22.) “Pieces” - Red

23.) “Shattered and Hollow” - First Aid Kit

24.) “Still” - Daughter

25.) “All I Want” - Kodaline

26.) “Beautiful Girl” - Broken Iris

27.) “Wonderful Unknown” - Ingrid Michaelson + Greg Laswell

28.) “Ride” - Lana Del Rey

29.) “Chasing Cars” - Snow Patrol

30.) “Take Me Home” - Jess Glynne

31.) “Not About Angels” - Birdy

32.) “The Devil’s Tears’ - Angus & Julia Stone

33.) “Walk Through the Fire” - Zayde Wølf, Ruelle

34.) “Arrival of the Birds” - The Cinematic Orchestra, London Metropolitan Orchestra

35.) “Love, Reign O’er Me” - Pearl Jam

36.) “Hurricane” - Thirty Seconds to Mars

37.) “Between” - Courrier

38.) “Change (In the House of Flies)” - Deftones

39.) “Battle Cry” - Kyler England

40.) “Light” - Sleeping At Last

41.) “I See the Light” (from Disney’s ‘Tangled’/Soundtrack Version) - Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi

42.) “The Book of Love” - Peter Gabriel

43.) “Not Alone” - Red

44.) “‘Dead Island’ Trailer Theme” (featuring Mairi Campbell, Peter Nicholson & Guido De Groot)

45.) “Falling Slowly” - Glen Hansard, Markéta Irglová

46.) “Hold On” - Tom Waits

47.) “Everywhere I Go” - Lissie

48.) “Heartbeat” - The Fray

49.) “Bloodstream” - Stateless

50.) “Remembrance” - Balmorhea

51.) “Gorecki” - Lamb

52.) “A Sky Full of Stars” - Coldplay

53.) “Slide Away” - Oasis

54.) “Alone in This Bed (Capeside)” - Framing Hanley

55.) “Whispers” - Avalanche City

56.) “Heaven” - Beyoncé

57.) “I Will Follow You into the Dark” - Death Cab for Cutie

58.) “Eyes Wide Open” - Beth Crowley

59.) “Everlong” (Acoustic Version) - Foo Fighters

60.) “Everloving” - Moby

61.) “Stay” - Rihanna, Mikky Ekko

62.) “I’ll Be Good” - Jaymes Young

63.) “And I Love Her” - Passenger

64.) “Medicine” - Daughter

65.) “Strange Birds” - Birdy

66.) “Shattered” - Trading Yesterday

67.) “Warrior” - Beth Crowley

68.) “Wicked Game” (Live) - James Vincent McMorrow

69.) “Kiss Quick” - Matt Nathanson

70.) “Skinny Love” - Bon Iver

71.) “Sky’s Still Blue” - Andrew Belle

72.) “The Funeral” - Band of Horses

73.) “Hymn for the Missing” - Red

74.) “The Night We Met” - Lord Huron

75.) “The Mighty Rio Grande” - This Will Destroy You

76.) “Brighter Than Sunshine” - Aqualung

77.) “Such Great Heights” - Iron & Wine

78.) “Brave” - Nichole Nordeman

79.) “Demons” (Acoustic - Live in London) - Imagine Dragons

80.) “You & I” - One Direction

81.) “All I Know” - Beth Crowley

82.) “Gravity” - Vienna Teng

83.) “Colour Me In” - Damien Rice

84.) “Work Song” - Hozier

85.) “Opposite” - David O’Dowda

86.) “A Rush of Blood to the Head” - Coldplay

87.) “Skin and Bones” - Beth Crowley

88.) “Sound of Surviving” - Nichole Nordeman

89.) “You” - Keaton Henson

90.) “A Thousand Years” - Christina Perri

91.) “Time” - Mikky Ekko

92.) “Last Chance” - Emily Kinney

93.) “Drowning Man” - U2

[osakaso5]

IDOLiSH7 5th Anniversary Special Story: Opening Doors...

Chapter 6: A Day Of Celebration

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Yamato Nikaido: Mm! It's so tender!

Haruka Isumi: It's so sweet and yummy!

Tenn Kujo: Now this is a flavor that'll wake you up in the morning.

Fisher: Thank you! Have some more!

Haruka Isumi: Chow time!

Iori Izumi: Does everyone around here eat the Dancing Lobster?

Fisher: We love it here! You only get to eat it once a year, so everyone has some when it's available!

Yamato Nikaido: It really is like an idol, then.

Fisher: Haha, at least around these parts. City folk and young people don't much know about it.

Haruka Isumi: It'd be selfish to keep this all to ourselves, then.

Fisher: Shellfish? You want to eat shellfish next?

Tenn Kujo: Hehe, he said "selfish". In other words, we should help make it popular.

Tenn Kujo: Just like lots of ordinary people helped us become popular.

Fisher: My whole family loves you boys! Both IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER!

Haruka Isumi: What about ŹOOĻ?

Fisher: We love you too, of course!

Haruka Isumi: Ahaha! Do you really!?

Yamato Nikaido: It's weird. Before our meeting the other day, I didn't even know the name of this place.

Yamato Nikaido: Finding out about a place this nice makes you wanna tell more people about it.

Iori Izumi: Right. It makes you want to share.

Yamato Nikaido: Share?

Iori Izumi: Yes. This moment and this excitement.

Iori Izumi: All the great things that fill your heart, whether they're delicious or beautiful...

Iori Izumi: I'm sure wanting to share them with someone is something we can all relate to.

Tenn Kujo: I think I get what you mean. That's also why we don't sing alone.

Tenn Kujo: You don't want to keep amazing experiences and emotions to yourself.

Tenn Kujo: You want other people to know. And telling people how delicious this harbour's Dancing Lobster was is a part of that, too.

Fisher: Or that famous idols came to eat here.

Tenn Kujo: Hehe, that's right. People want to bond over things that make them happy.

Yamato Nikaido: I think we do bond over it. Our members... And even the fans who aren't with us on stage.

Haruka Isumi: ......... Even when things go bad, and you're all separated?

Iori Izumi: Of course.

Iori Izumi: Because even in a blinding darkness, their hearts are with us. 

- - - -

Tamaki Yotsuba: This egg rice is so yummy~!

Toma Inumaru: So are the boiled eggs!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: The omelette's great, too! These eggs are really something! No wonder they're called "Dearest Eggs"!

Mitsuki Izumi: Yeah, seriously! Not only do they taste good, the colors are also nice and the yolk is soft. No wonder they're popular!

Poultry Farmer: Thank you!

Mitsuki Izumi: What's the secret to their flavor?

Poultry Farmer: Well... Just like you sang a song for the chickens...

Poultry Farmer: We take the time to give them lots of love.

Poultry Farmer: It naturally makes them into the kinds of tasty eggs everyone will love.

Toma Inumaru: You mean something that gets love will turn even more lovable?

Poultry Farmer: That's right. Hehe... Though I'm embarrassed to say that.

Mitsuki Izumi: Ahaha! Don't be! I think it's really nice.

Mitsuki Izumi: If we idols do our best to sing with lots of love...

Mitsuki Izumi: And that makes our fans get more love too, then that makes us happy!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Yeah, really happy. It's fun... and I'm sure it works both ways.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Both ways?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: At first, being around two guys as amazing as Gaku and Tenn made me shrink back...

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: But being loved by my fans, my teammates, and agency gave me a lot of self-confidence.

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: It's great to be loved. It's great when people care about you. It gives you strength beyond what you could achieve by yourself.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I get what you mean. I used to be kinda like a regular egg.

Tamaki Yotsuba: A regular, tall egg that could kinda dance and had a bad attitude. And that was always late and forgetting stuff.

Mitsuki Izumi: Ahaha! You sure were.

Mitsuki Izumi: But you've changed, Tamaki.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Haha... Yeah. I guess that's what happens when people care about you. And your friends tell you you did a good job.

Tamaki Yotsuba: You grow really tall, just like that.  And you become a super yummy egg. It's so weird.

Toma Inumaru: Sure is... But it makes you wanna care for people, too. Like your teammates and friends.

Toma Inumaru: So they won't hate you ever again, and so you can keep moving on.

Toma Inumaru: Because you're loved and cared for, you know you'll be fine no matter what.

Toma Inumaru: At least, that's what I'd like to think.

Mitsuki Izumi: ...Right...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ahaha! Mikki, you sound like you're gonna cry!

Mitsuki Izumi: Shut up! You know I'm weak to this kinda stuff!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Ahaha! ...I feel you...

Toma Inumaru: Not you too, Tsunashi-san...

Poultry Farmer: Thank you, boys. That was moving beyond words, and...

Poultry Farmer: I hope you'll continue to be loved like our eggs, as the idol world's Dearest Idols.

Mitsuki Izumi: ...Mister, you went and said the coolest thing out of all of us!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Misteeer!

Poultry Farmer: Hehe... 

- - - -

Nagi Rokuya: OH! Our radiant rice is delicious!

Momo: It sure is the Radiant 16! Each grain has a different texture, so just chewing on them is fun!

Torao Mido: And it feels healthy, too.

Sogo Osaka: What goal did you have when making this blend?

Rice Mill Owner: I want the people who eat it to lead healthy,  bustling, and radiant lives.

Momo: That's so normal! Well, maybe not normal, but it does seem like you're taking it really seriously.

Rice Mill Owner: Hehe.

Torao Mido: Hence the name?

Rice Mill Owner: Yep. My parents are rice farmers, but I used to not like rice.

Rice Mill Owner: But I still ate millet rice, since it's healthy and full of nutrients. That's how I realized this was my calling.

Momo: You totally looked like a westerner to me, but your parents farm rice?

Rice Mill Owner: Hehe.

Momo: You say you didn't like rice, so how did your parents react to that?

Rice Mill Owner: Not well. They said just plain rice is good enough, and that they worked so hard to cook it for me.

Rice Mill Owner: But I couldn't help it. I wasn't my parents. And this idea is something I worked hard for. I wanted them to acknowledge that.

Sogo Osaka: ...What about now? Do they acknowledge it?

Rice Mill Owner: Yeah. Since I'm making money, heh.

Torao Mido: So it's because you had the results to show for it.

Nagi Rokuya: OH! Then do you not also lead a radiant life?

Rice Mill Owner: Oh, good point.

Nagi Rokuya: Happiness is what matters most.

Nagi Rokuya: Our happiness, our families' happiness, our friends' happiness...

Nagi Rokuya: To me, that is the most important message to remember in my life, and in the eyes of God.

Sogo Osaka: Right... My work makes me happy. So I think I lead a radiant life, too.

Torao Mido: Hmm...

Sogo Osaka: Haha... I never thought I'd say that about myself.

Sogo Osaka: I've been hurt a lot, and I'll probably be hurt in the future, but I'm sure that my life is bright.

Sogo Osaka: I'll shine to make up for the hurt. That's how I want to live out my life.

Torao Mido: That doesn't really make sense to me. If you hadn't done anything at all, your life could've been radiant enough as it was.

Sogo Osaka: .........

Torao Mido: But you look happier now than when I used to see you surrounded by all that luxury.

Sogo Osaka: Mido-san...

Rice Mill Owner: Good for you, Sogo.

Momo: You sure are a friendly guy, huh!?

Rice Mill Owner: Make sure to promote the Radiant 16-Grain for me, Momo-chan.

Momo: Sure thing! And since you're so tall, I want you to join my soccer team!

Rice Mill Owner: Gotcha.

Nagi Rokuya: Would you like to visit Northmare?

Rice Mill Owner: Sure.

Sogo Osaka: He's so friendly... 

- - - -

Gaku Yaotome: I did it! I got the biggest General's Edamame!

Minami Natsume: Oh dear. You did very well, Yaotome-san.

Riku Nanase: Ah, but this means we have to give him his phone back.

Yuki: Can't we have just ten percent of it?

Gaku Yaotome: No! How would you give someone ten percent of a phone, anyway?

Riku Nanase: By cutting out one corner?

Gaku Yaotome: Don't try to break it! Ah, gramps, check this out!

Farmer: Now that's a big General's Edamame. This year's harvest has turned out great.

Gaku Yaotome: Is this bigger than normal?

Farmer: It is.

Gaku Yaotome: Hehe!

Farmer: But I think this vividly bright one will be more fresh and delicious.

Minami Natsume: Oh. That's nice to hear.

Riku Nanase: Mine is more firm than all the others! There's so many different ways edamame can turn out!

Yuki: Mine's on the softer side. The softer the tastier, right, mister?

Farmer: You won't know unless you have a taste.

Yuki: I appreciate the honesty.

Riku Nanase: Why did you decide to call them the General's Edamame?

Farmer: Edamame are unripe soybeans.

Farmer: We wanted to express the fact that even a greenhorn can become a great general!

Minami Natsume: Unripe... I like the sound of that word. It's full of potential.

Riku Nanase: ŹOOĻ's the least experienced group out of all of us, after all!

Yuki: What about IDOLiSH7? Have you ripened up yet?

Riku Nanase: Have we? I'm not sure...

Riku Nanase: I feel like we're going to keep changing from here, but I want to stay the way we are right now, too.

Riku Nanase: The seven of us have been through a lot, but we overcame it together...

Riku Nanase: I want to believe that we can keep going just the way we are now.

Riku Nanase: What about TRIGGER?

Gaku Yaotome: Well...

Gaku Yaotome: I don't wanna say that this is as far as we'll go. But I don't wanna say we're still not good enough, when we're already entertaining fans on stage.

Gaku Yaotome: I wanna be perfect in the moment. It doesn't matter if we're broken and flawed after that.

Yuki: And sometimes it's good to break your old selves to discover something new.

Yuki: Like the beans. They're unripe, but they can still be generals.

Gaku Yaotome: Right!

Minami Natsume: ........

Riku Nanase: What's wrong, Natsume-san?

Minami Natsume: I just   thought of something...

Riku Nanase: What?

Minami Natsume: What are books in the military called?

Gaku Yaotome: Huh?

Minami Natsume: General knowledge.

Riku & Gaku: ........?

Minami Natsume: It's a pun.

Yuki: ...Pfft, haha..!

Gaku Yaotome: Yuki-san, your face..!

Riku Nanase: Aah! General knowledge, as in military general!

Minami Natsume: Yes. In any case, we should all take pride in our unripeness...

Gaku Yaotome: Hold on! Can't you give a warning before getting back to the serious stuff!?

Riku Nanase: Hey!

Gaku Yaotome: What's up, Nanase?

Riku Nanase: We're getting serious again!

Gaku Yaotome: You don't gotta narrate everything!

Riku Nanase: Huh!? But you just said...

Yuki: ...Ahahaha..!

Gaku Yaotome: Yuki-san..! You're gonna make Momo-san cry at this rate!!!

Riku Nanase: Ah..! He did mention breaking himself..!

Gaku Yaotome: Doesn't mean he has to break his face, too... 

- - - -

Re:vale: Shining Rainbow Kitchen!

TRIGGER: It's been five years since your first broadcast!

IDOLiSH7: Congratulations!

ŹOOĻ: Happy 5th anniversary!

Momo: To celebrate, all 16 of us...

Tenn Kujo: Have created the idol bowl!

Riku Nanase: And we're about to cook it for you!

Haruka Isumi: Make sure to try it for yourselves, too! 

- - - -

Sogo Osaka: We will add the freshly cooked Radiant 16-Grain rice into the bowls. Mido-san.

Torao Mido: It's hot... Will this much do?

Momo: I want a little more!

Nagi Rokuya: Millet rice is like an audience, shining with glowsticks!

Torao Mido: Audience complete!

Nagi Rokuya: Wow! How wonderful!

Sogo Osaka: It looks delicious!

Momo: What's an idol without fans, am I right!?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: We'll be preparing the eggs, lobster, and edamame for cooking!

Mitsuki Izumi: Here's our eggs! Firm and fresh Dearest Eggs!

Tamaki Yotsuba: The eggs show off an idol's popularity!

Toma Inumaru: We sang to the chickens to make them lay healthy eggs!

Yamato Nikaido: This here's the Dancing Lobster!

Iori Izumi: It's so fresh that it was still squirming around a moment ago.

Tenn Kujo: It's a phantom that can only be eaten once a year.

Haruka Isumi: Uh, and it represents idols, who you usually only get to see on stage!

Riku Nanase: Finally, there's the General's Edamame!

Gaku Yaotome: They're chewy, big, and delicious!

Minami Natsume: They represent the idols who sometimes serve as backup dancers.

Yuki: Okay then. Can I put the edamame on the frying pan?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Yes! 

Hiss! Crackle!

Riku Nanase: That's the sound of good food!  

Tenn Kujo: It smells good, too.

Torao Mido: You're good at this, Ryunosuke.

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: That's because I love to cook! But Mitsuki-kun and Yuki-san are just as good.

Iori Izumi: Are the bowls all lined up?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Almost!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Ready?

Mitsuki Izumi: I'd say we're good to go.

Yuki: Why not?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: It's done!

Momo: It's done! Let's put 'em in the bowls!

Riku Nanase: It's the idol bowl!

Nagi Rokuya: Perfect!

Haruka Isumi: Looks good!

Toma Inumaru: Looks great! And colorful!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Make this popular! I want it to be as popular as the Nia bowl!

Minami Natsume: It makes for a good lunch.

Yamato Nikaido: Sure. You guys wanna pack idol lunchboxes and go somewhere?

Mitsuki Izumi: It's supposed to be a bowl, not a lunchbox!

Sogo Osaka: Is everyone ready?

Iori Izumi: We are.

Tenn Kujo: Grab a bowl, guys. It's time for a taste test.

Momo: Taste test, taste test!

Minami Natsume: Incredible. All of us idols, standing with a bowl in hand.

Gaku Yaotome: Makes for a great picture!

Yamato Nikaido: Does it..?

Riku Nanase: Everyone, get in line! We'll all have a bite on the count of three!

Tenn Kujo: Before that, there's one thing we need to say.

Tenn Kujo: Happy 5th anniversary!

All: Happy anniversary!

Iori Izumi: I hope all of you at home will stay healthy, eat lots of great food, and continue supporting the show.

Riku Nanase: We don't know all the stuff that lies ahead for us, but good food is a crucial part of life!

Yamato Nikaido: Yep, we've got plenty of food-related memories ourselves!

Mitsuki Izumi: Like how we went from eating egg soba to eating tempura soba!

Nagi Rokuya: OH! It reminds me of when we were but the most basic of lunchboxes!

Sogo Osaka: And I came to like King Pudding.

Tamaki Yotsuba: And I got good at making hot milk!

Riku Nanase: And I started buying lots of snacks that come with toys!

Riku Nanase: I hope we all get to make many more memories together!

Riku Nanase: The idol bowl we made today will be one of them!

Riku Nanase: Shining Rainbow Kitchen!

Riku Nanase: Thank you so much for inviting us to your 5th anniversary celebration!

All: Thank you!

Riku Nanase: I hope this show will keep going for many more years to come!

Haruka Isumi: Try the idol bowl!

Yuki: And the Nia bowl.

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: And the Oly bowl!

Minami Natsume: Hee hee. And the skin bowl.

Riku Nanase: Let's start eating, everyone!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Let's, let's!

Tenn Kujo: Well then, here we go.

Riku & Tenn: One, two, three..!

All: Bon appétit!

The end.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 10: THE SUPER SIX/THE SEMIFINALS Featuring a *TRIPLE GASP* Triple Elimination (Commentary & Guesses)

Oh hello friends! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer Recap, the blog where I, Ana, recap The Masked Singer for all of you lovely humans. Today, we are recapping an episode that is wow insane and I have a lot of things to say (well not a lot, but I have things to say, ok? I am building up suspense here). We finally have all of the contestants together, groups gone, all 6 of them! So, let’s get into it... the recap is gonna look very different since you know, triple elimination, so you’ll see how it goes, it’s kinda gonna be like how I did the Group A and C finals.

Ok, so our Super Six are: Jellyfish 💚, Mushroom 🍄, Crocodile 🐊, Seahorse 🐠, Popcorn 🍿, and Sun ☀️

Ok so the format of this one was, um, dare I say, questionable, but the 2 masks from the same group go head to head and whoever loses goes home... yeah I don’t like it either, but here we go. Let’s start backwards with Group C:

Group C’s Battle is Jellyfish 💚 vs. Mushroom 🍄

First up was Jellyfish 💚 singing Stay by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko

Performance commentary: She did great, this song totally suited her voice super well, it was really great of a performance. I was really hoping she would do something move upbeat & fun, but it was still a good song choice, just a bit safe in my opinion. I still enjoyed it but there was no wow factor really compared to the others.

Competing against her, with the song Valerie by Amy Winehouse, was Mushroom 🍄

Performance commentary: ok his performance was pretty surprising, he surprises me every time he sings on the stage. I throughly enjoyed this performance, the choreography was spot on, I kinda loved it... That was until he started beatboxing. The beatboxing was a, um, interesting choice to do with an Amy Winehouse song of all songs you can beatbox to, but yeah it ruined it a bit ngl. It was a bit cringe, but you know what, he's versatile and we love that for him, so yay I guess?

Having said that, the person who lost this battle and was ultimately revealed was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Jellyfish 💚

Who was revealed to be...

Chloe Kim

Ok yes, I got it right! Look at me go, so far at 9/11 correct guesses! Anyways, yup it was sad seeing her go because she really did do such an amazing job!👏 to her especially since she isn't a trained singer and everyone else on there is (Super Six wise I mean). If this was any other season, she probably would be in the finals but everyone is insanely talented so I am not that surprised she got eliminated. She killed it tho! She should so consider singing like doing covers or something. She will be missed for sure.

Next, we have the Group B battle: Seahorse 🐠 vs. Crocodile 🐊

First is Seahorse 🐠, who performed Bruno Mars's That's What I Like.

Performance commentary: This was not her best performance ngl. She tried to go upbeat and do choreography which didn't work out in her favor tbh, but I'm getting ahead of myself. She was still amazing, but the song choice was not the best one, you know? Like she can go upbeat, I have faith in her because she is immensely talented it's insane. However, this particular song didn't suit her amazing voice. I honestly think she still did great regardless, I've just seen her do better.

Next came Crocodile 🐊, who sang I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

Performance commentary: Ok, I gotta admit that he nailed that performance, wow he really was like going through the competition kind of low key, but he really shone here. This was super amazing performance, he absolutely killed it, not the best one though (stay tuned) but still really great!

Ok, so who lost and had to take off their mask which made me super sad and kind of annoyed with this format:

*SAD DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Seahorse 🐠

Who was revealed to be...

Tori Kelly

I was really hoping that she would be in the finals, so this elimination made me (probably also everyone else on Twitter) pretty sad and annoyed because she didn't deserve to leave, Mushroom could have left in her place and I wouldn't be mad. Anyways, apart from that's I still guessed that it was her. 2 for 2! Woo hoo! I knew it was Tori Kelly from the beginning so yay. She really killed it & honestly would have been in the finals or even would have won if it was any other season. It is really sad to see her go, like Astronaut from season 3 if you remember how I felt about that you're an OG

Last but not least we have the Group A face off consisting of Popcorn 🍿 vs. Sun ☀️

First up, we have Popcorn 🍿, who sang Better Be Good to Me by Tina Turner

Performance commentary: Ahhh, ok I really wanted her to sing a Tina Turner song, and she did, which I was stoked about. However, this wasn't her best performance, I liked some of her past ones better. However, this song suited her voice amazingly, she really did a great job! Nobody did bad by any means, they are all amazing! So, yeah it was great!

Last but not least came the Sun ☀️ who sang When the Party’s Over by Billie Ellish

Performance commentary: Ok, this was THE BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT HANDS DOWN no questions asked. She absolutely nailed this song and it was just her, her voice, acapella, almost no instrumentals and no dancers behind her. She legit made the judges cry! Like they usually talk & cheer when these people perform but they were dead silent, speechless. That tells you something, I could even dare to say this is the best performance of the season. Like, she better win & really bring it in the finals, because how can she top this? Idk, it was that good!

And the last mask going home is (are we even surprised at this point?)...

* DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Popcorn 🍿

Who was revealed to be...

Taylor Dayne

Yay! 3 for 3! I got 11/13 right now, kinda proud of myself ngl. As for popcorn leaving, I am not surprised, I'm still annoyed she stayed over snow owls but whatever she was great and an amazing sport. I loved her costume, it was the best one of them all. She's amazing and she will be missed

Ok that's it... Well I'm doing a part 2 because this isn't letting me put images on this blog post.. So I will share my guesses in part 2. Btw after this, we don't have an episode this week so December 16 I will be back recapping the finale

[fbdo1986]

@ericsohns tagged me to do this ages ago and i really put it in my drafts so i could think up some more answers but! ily mikki ty for this 

i’m tagging: @thisandthisandthis, @selkiefem, @modernvampires and anyone else who might want to share!

your favorite album(s):

the cars (deluxe) - the cars (literally. album of all time). 

quiet ferocity - the jungle giants

long live the new flesh - flesh for lulu

chet baker sings - chet baker 

also bonus points goes to steve mcqueen by prefab sprout! thanks to mikki its an INSTANT classic for me 

your favorite music genre(s):

omg mikki we’re twinning! i think i also have to say new wave <3 ofc i love SO many but new wave feels like music that was made for me to enjoy

your favorite song(s):

bye bye love - the cars 

nothing but flowers - talking heads

daniel - elton john / love lies bleeding - elton john

i get along without you very well (except sometimes) - chet baker

seven seas - echo & the bunnymen

i’m making believe - the ink spots

crazy for you - madonna

lord PLEASE take this with a grain of salt. i dont have consistent definitive favorite songs but i tried my best!

most listened artists:

uh HELP i dunno? overall? or currently? cause currently its probably fleetwood mac, but beach house and the jungle giants are some of the artists ive been listening to the longest i’m pretty sure. 

an album that's important to you

yours conditionally by tennis. i listened to it quite adamantly when figuring out my bisexuality and i’ll always associate it with that in some way! <3

a song that's important to you

hm. i don’t know if i have a definitive answer to this actually. wait. im picking i just called to say i love you by stevie wonder by proxy bc it’s associated with something sweet about my grandma and grandpa (according to my grandma he called her once while they were dating and sang that to her over the phone) and i like thinking about that :-)

what makes you like a song

um. i guess like? ultimately a sound i like? really fun production or nice instrumentals coupled w lyrics that get me into it! 

your favorite instrument to hear in a song

bass but. mikki has a point with synth 

a song to dance to

not my slave - oingo boingo (also i know im cheesy for including these but. cry to me by solomon burke and dancing with myself by generation x need to be considered as honorable mentions). 

a song from your childhood

hm. honestly i don’t have much to go on here but maybe eight days a week by the beatles (i’m sorry) or like. oh no! by marina 

a song that reminds you of love

save me a place - fleetwood mac (it’s one of my favorite love songs of all time now) 

honorable mentions go to happier than the morning sun or ribbon in the sky by stevie wonder, misty by julie london (or whoever wrote the song) and don’t worry baby by the beach boys. and also a million other songs because i love love.  

a song you love lyrically

electric blue - icehouse 

i felt like it was a cop out to say horsin’ around by prefab sprout but LORD that song makes me. insane. 

[perspicacious-dragon-of-welkin]

You were always treated special. How were you to know it was only because they wanted to claw you out and put someone else in? That you were only ever meant to be a vessel for someone else?

They never wanted you. You were always meant to be replaced. Not cast aside, no, they want your body. From the moment you were created, you were meant to be erased one day. So they could use your body as a vessel for someone else.

You thought you were special because of how they used to treat you. You tried so hard to impress them. Nothing you did was ever enough. They just pushed you harder. You thought you meant something. You never meant anything to them. They knew that one day they would take everything from you, wipe you from existence. You were born to be used. No, not even you. So your body could be used. You were never valued. Only what you had been given. 

Now you know. What are you going to do about it? What’s your destiny now? Will you fade away? What other choice do you have? They were everything you knew. What do you have left to fight for? 

“That the darkest hour never comes in the night You can sleep with a gun But when you gonna wake up and fight? For yourself”

- Shinedown, Sound of Madness

“What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am”

- Crossfade, Cold

“This is how you remind me Of what I really am”

“I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you a heart worth breaking”

- Nickelback, How You Remind Me

“I tried so hard and got so far But in the end it doesn't even matter”

- Linkin Park, In The End

“I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface Don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Every step that I take is another mistake to you”

- Linkin Park, Numb

“Well this is not for real Afraid to feel I just hit the floor Don't ask for more”

- Default, Wasting My Time

“And you bring me to my knees Again All this time that I could beg you please In vain All the times that I felt insecure For you”

“All this time that I felt like this won't end Was for you And I taste what I could never have It's from you All those times that I tried My intentions were full of pride And I waste more time than anyone”

“All the times that I've cried All this wasted, it's all inside And I feel all this pain Stuffed it down, it's back again And I lie here in bed All alone”

- Staind, Outside

“I don't even know myself at all I thought I would be happy by now The more I try to push it I realize Gotta let go of control”

“It's just a spark But it's enough to keep me going”

“And the blood in these veins Isn't pumping any less than it ever has And that's the hope I have The only thing I know that's keeping me alive, alive”

- Paramore, Last Hope

“Enemy, familiar friend My beginning and my end Knowing truth, whispering lies And it hurts again”

“And it finds me The fight inside is coursing through my veins”

- Red, Fight Inside

“There's time on the wall, but no one around His will is numb, he's half in the ground If all we are is all we were Then he'd soon pass on without a whisper And life goes on”

“And I will not be told I won't be controlled I don't want your cure I won't be reassured I will not be fixed You're the one that's sick And I will not decay I won't ever fade away”

- Zack Hemsey, Fade Away

“I feel it right at the heart of me And it grips me physically Dragging down so far below And it's a violent vertigo Digging it in like a parasite Feeding off what I keep inside”

“Something's changing Re-arranging me Amputating What I no longer need”

- Blue Stahli, Metamorphosis (Life Theory Remix) LINK

“Cut off my wings and come lock me up Just pull the plug, yeah, I've had enough Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts You're all vampires, so here You can have my heart”

- Bring Me The Horizon, Doomed

“What doesn't kill you Makes you wish you were dead Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper And I can't take One more moment of this silence The loneliness is haunting me And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up

It comes in waves, I close my eyes Hold my breath and let it bury me I'm not OK and it's not alright”

- Bring Me The Horizon, Drown

“I've gotta fight today To live another day Speakin' my mind today (My voice will be heard today)

I've gotta make a stand But I am just a man (I'm not superhuman) My voice will be heard today”

- Skillet, Hero

“They say we are what we are But we don't have to be”

- Fall out Boy, Immortals

“I give it all to you Letting go of me Reaching as I fall I know it's already over now Nothing left to lose”

- Red, Already Over

“Everything is going to change Nothing’s going to be the same What we know is good and gone The life we lived has come undone”

“Get out of my head Get out of my mind Whatever you put me through I'll come out alive”

“I’m living in a terrible nightmare Just wake me from this terrible nightmare”

- Arshad, Nightmare

“No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret There is a fire inside of this heart and a riot about to explode into flames”

“Do you really want... Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead, Or alive to live a lie?”

- Thirty Seconds To Mars, Hurricane

“My soul and my youth Seems it's all for you to use If I could take back the moment I'd let you get under my skin Relent or resist Seems the monster always wins

You're the pulse in my veins You're the war that I wage Can you change me?”

“My heart's an artifice, a decoy soul Who knew the emptiness could be so cold? I've lost the parts of me that make me whole”

- Starset, Monster

“I feel it all the time Felt it all around you You had me under spell right from the start I don't have a telepathic heart Telepathic

Blind, I fall into the line That's waiting just to get you But I don't ever know just what we are I don't have a telepathic heart Telepathic

Look inside my brain You'd know what I want before I tell you Give me the words to say to make it enough Don't want your star-crossed fate You are the sun, I am the full moon Don't leave me lost in vain I can be what you want”

- Starset, Telepathic

“How can I change the path that I'm on this is my Destiny this is my life my own right or wrong bring it on back to me”

- Syntax, Destiny

“I get up in the morning To the beat of the drum I get up to this feeling Keeps me on the run I get up in the morning Put my dreams away I get up, I get up, I get up again”

- Dead Man’s bones, Lose your Soul

Who, who are you really? And where are you going? I have nothing left to prove 'Cause I have nothing left to lose See me bare my teeth for you Who, who are you?

- Mikky Ekko, Who Are You, Really?

“Lead me in chains Strip me of shame Caress me with pain 'Cause I'm down on my knees And I'm begging you please as you say

Don't cry mercy There's too much pain to come”

- Hurts, Mercy

“I'm cold and broken

It's over I didn't want to see it come to this I wonder If I will ever see your face again And I know That I will find a way to shed the skin It's simple I know that I will suffer in the end

Fast I fade away It's almost over Hold on Slow, I suffocate I'm cold and broken All alone

It's hopeless The end will come and wash it all away Forsaken I live for those I lost along the way And I can't Remember how it all began to break We suffer I live to fight and die another day”

- Breaking Benjamin, Fade Away

“Into the nothing Faded and weary I won't leave and let you fall behind Live for the dying Heaven hear me I know we can make it out alive”

- Breaking Benjamin, Into The Nothing

“Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind?”

- Yoav, Where is My Mind?

“To capture a predator You can't remain the prey You have to become An equal In every way

So look in the mirror And tell me, who do you see? Is it still you? Or is it me?”

- Karliene, Become The Beast

“When the words Weigh heavy on the heart I am lost And lead only by the stars”

“Breathe in, breathe out Let the human in Breathe in, breathe out And let it in”

- Of Monsters and Men, Human

“If I was in World War Two they'd call me spitfire

Fire 'Cause you know that I can”

- The Prodigy, Spitfire

“Sleep now under my skin Make sure you'll try to Conjure the wind And ease my mind”

“Somebody call out to your brother He's calling out your name”

- Matt Corby, Brother

“When we were young we were the ones The kings and queens oh yeah, we ruled the world”

“We've taken different paths And travelled different roads I know we'll always end up on the same one when we're old And when you're in the trenches And you're under fire I will cover you

If I was dying on my knees You would be the one to rescue me”

- Kodaline, Brother

“Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time”

- Twenty One Pilots, Stressed Out

“Carved out, cold Hiding from you in this skin, so old”

“And if I recover”

“I'll give you one more chance To say we can change our old ways And you take what you need And you know you don't need me”

- Chvrches, Recover

[thatcatpictureguy]

Ok, so this is kinda weird, but I just had the same song (Stay by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko) pop up somehow 3 times in the same night.

1. While doing chores it played on Alexa (and it hit me deep in my soul, so I replayed it while I was taking a shower)

2. Jellyfish on The Masked Singer sang it (sooooo good too!)

3. I'm reading this Malec fanfic and the author includes songs that inspired them/relate to each chapter. And when I clicked on the next chapter it was Stay.

[mirosquad]

10, 16, 28, 55, 75, 100!

Thanks to my forever fave @hockeyswedeheart ! It took me so long to reply because I could not get the formatting right, and it still isn’t great but moving on lol.

10: Biggest turn ons

Where do I start! With guys, I love when he has a great sense of humor, but at the same time we can have deep conversations about politics, current pop culture, books, tv series, etc. If you can make me laugh, you can probably get in my pants haha! Physically, a great smile and a deep voice! Literally my kryptonite. In bed, it would definitely be dirty talk and spanking! I die for that shit!

16: Favourite movie:

At the top of the list would have to be the Lord of the Rings trilogy, with the Return of the King being my fave of the three. King Theoden says one of my fave lines:

Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!spear shall be shaken, shield shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now, ride! Ride for ruin and the world's ending! Death! Death! Death! Forth Eorlingas!

It always makes me feel like going out and conquering the day, overcoming my anxious thoughts and just slaying life! It’s truly inspiring to me.

28: Favourite ice cream?

Maple Almond! It’s soooo good

55: Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

When I was younger, I did this. I don’t remember if I ever tried to picture what the shapes looked liked, but just appreciated how vast the sky was and wondered what it would be like to live up there amongst the clouds.

75: Have you ever sang karaoke?

Oh yea!! I’m super nervous when I do it and my voice get’s all shakey, but it’s soo freeing when you’re doing it. My go to song is Stay by Rihanna & Mikky Ekko; I know all the words, I can through a few harmonies and make that song mine! But the next time I get to do karaoke, I’m gonna attempt Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, I think I’d do a good job 👍🏾

And last but not least!

100: Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

One thing that no one know.... hmmm. One that I’m willing to share on here isn’t that ground breaking, but it’s so close to my heart! I would love to learn how to snowboard, it may seem like a small thing, but for years I’ve dreamed of doing it. I had an opportunity a few years back, but I didn’t have someone to do it with and I chickened out. One of my biggest regrets!

[dontdietwd]

Days 230 to 238

TRIGGER WARNING for suicidal thoughts and attempt.

Day 230 was the day I was gonna die.

Not day 73 as they all thought, as Daryl thought.

No, it would be on day 230. A whole 157 days later. And oh the irony… It was not walkers who’d kill me. It was not people.

It was me.

My legs were weak and trembling when I got up from bed. Disuse, after 10 days unmoving in bed, weakness for eating so little all this time. Honey was there. She never left my side. She hopped down from the bed with me and followed me out. I managed to leave though the half opened door. I didn’t know whose house I was in; it didn’t look like anyone of theirs. I couldn’t care less, though. I entered the bathroom, leaving the door opened and saw Honey lay down there, sleepily watching over me. I avoided the mirror completely and sat to pee. It was a real clean bathroom; someone’d been taking care of this house. And of me.

I wouldn’t bother them anymore.

Getting up, I accidentally took a look at the mirror. I saw a ghost. That wasn’t me, not anymore. That face wasn’t mine, those protruding cheekbones, those hollow eyes. Sam was gone and she’d been for a long time now.

Of the three small drawers on the counter, I opened the first. Just a few bathroom things, toothpaste, two toothbrushes and scissors. I stared at in in there for a long minute. I could use it. I could split open my wrists and die the way the world made us all now, bleeding. But as I looked at myself in the mirror again, I made another decision.

My dreads dropped cut off to the ground one by one. I took my time, holding each in my hand for a long moment before cutting it off as close to my scalp as I could. I wasn’t crying, but tears rolled down from my eyes anyways as my head felt the loss of the weight I’d been carrying there for so long. Dropping the scissors on top of the pile of brownish yellow dreads, I rubbed my hands in my hair, feeling the shortness. It was uneven and pointed in several spots.

Honey followed me quietly out the door. I was on Circle Street, one of the houses that’d been empty, I recognized now. It was chilly and I hugged myself, looking up and taking a short, shallow breath. It was late night, probably near morning, and everything was quiet and dark. I walked slowly to Main Street and stopped halfway there. Ahead and up in the platform, Merle was on guard, smoking a cigarette and looking out. He didn’t see me. Honey was just as silent as I was when I entered Merle’s house, dark and empty. Passing by his kitchen, I saw a pack of Morley’s and a lighter on the table and took them with me as I went straight to his bathroom, knowing what I was looking for. As predictable, it was a mess and didn’t smell good, but I didn’t give a shit. Inside a drawer I found his shaving machine. I knew he’d have one, he always kept his head clear of hair.

Lighting up a cigarette after too many months felt bitter sweet. It felt good, my addiction to them happily satisfied, but the fact that now I could smoke didn’t pass unnoticed. I took a long, deep drag with my eyes closed, feeling a little bit of lightheadness as I puffed out.

For a while the only noise was of the machine. Staring at the mirror, cigarette between my lips, I shaved it all. Right to the scalp. I could see I had small cuts and scars in there I didn’t even know of. It’s just how life was now. Once I removed at trace of hair, I turned it off and ran a hand over my head. That was better. No hair. Not the same Sam anymore.

I didn’t let Honey follow me out. She whined but didn’t bark when I closed her inside Merle’s house. I walked away with my chest tight because I knew she’d follow me anywhere and I wanted her safe, so she couldn’t come. I walked silently to the gate, the Morley’s pack on my pocket and yet another cigarette lit between my fingers. It was time for the change of guard at the gate so I was able to slide out without Merle or Mikki noticing me. At that moment I was like a shadow.

I had no weapons, no car, just a pack of cigarettes and the roads. I walked slowly and silently, like a ghost. On my feet, a pair of sneakers, not made to walk for too long. On my scalp, the cold air of the minutes before sunrise send me chills to my entire body. I didn’t care.

It was so many things amounting to this decision… The end of the world, no hope, people who had gone so bad they’d stab pregnant women in the belly. My group gone… My Village running well without me. They wouldn’t need me leading them anymore, not this ghost. They’d be fine. Daryl gone, I was never gonna find him again. And now… Did I even want to anymore? He had mourned me and the baby. He had suffered his loss already. How was I supposed to find him, make him hope the baby was fine and then tell him he was gone? He’d suffer it all over again. I didn’t want to make him go through it. I didn’t want him to feel what I was feeling. It’d been months, he’d be moving forward now, only with the memories but probably with no pain now. Maybe… Now I didn’t even want to find him, and the wish to do so had kept me going all those months. Three things had kept me going: my baby, the plan to build a place, and finding Daryl and the group. I had one failed, dead. One achieved. And one I didn’t want anymore.

Nothing else to fight for.

It was day already when I reached a street with a few stores. I don’t know how I got there, and it didn’t matter. I entered the first store, a little raid out grocery store and walked around. My feet crunched stuff on the ground, broken grass, shelves, making noise I usually wouldn’t make. I rounded the cashier counter. There was money still in there. Under it, there was a locked cabinet. I knew from my old times the kind of things stores kept locked. It was probably what I was looking for. It was luckily a pretty weak lock because I was able to burst it open with a piece of metal fairly easily and, sure enough, there it was.

I left the store with three bottles. Tequila, whiskey a vodka. No wine, which would’ve been my choice, but whatever. On the parking lot in front of the stores, an abandoned car. It wasn’t too dusty, so it probably wasn’t there for too long. There was a couple of walkers coming from around the stores. I ignored them and sat on the driver’s seat, closing and locking the doors from the inside. The cd player in there still worked and there was a cd on the glovebox, entitled in a handwriting Greatest Songs of All Times. Good, let’s judge what people thought were the greatest song of all times.

It started very well with Bohemian Rhapsody. Tequila accompanied it. The first gulp burned my throat and brought tears to my eyes, my taste bugs aching, my brain making connections it hadn’t done for a long time. It wasn’t as pleasurable as I thought, so I took a second gulp, and it felt a little bit better. By the end of the song, where I shriekly sang with the lyrics, making different voices aloud, it didn’t even burn anymore.

Aretha Franklyn got me screaming Respect as I kept on drinking. I was already dancing on the seat when Elvis sang Hound Dog. Numb, thinking nothing, wondering why the fuck had I ever stopped drinking in the first place. I felt like a professional singer but probably sounded terrible screaming Hit the Road, Jack as I stared as the walkers by my window. I didn’t even know I knew the lyrics to Under Pressure but I sang it all, the herd of walkers all the noise attracted my audience. I was Lennon singing Stand by Me, I was Michael singing Smooth Criminal, I was Aretha again saying a little prayer.

I was everyone, except for Sam. I wasn’t there.

I couldn’t even see anything outside anymore. The walkers were all over. In front and behind the car, right and left and even on top, and even if there weren’t so many, I would be seeing anything, my head fuzzy, nothing making sense. No pain. Nothing hurt anymore, I was just singing and drinking and dancing.

Numb. Gone.

 * * *

 Day 236

 The world was a mess of blinding light and deafening noise, all spinning and blurry, making my head turn and hurt. It felt like it’d explode. I had no clue what was happening, where I was, whose voices were those. Was this what being dead was like? I remembered trying to be dead, had I succeeded?

“Daryl?” was the first word I was able to say, my throat rough and lips chapped. He’d know what was happening, he’d help me. He had my back. Except…

No, wait. No, no… I was still alive. Daryl wasn’t here. My baby was dead. And how the fuck did I get out of that car? I was supposed to stay in there forever, until I died of drinking, of hunger, of walker bite, anything. How was I here? And where was here?

“Welcome back, Sam…”

Merle? Calling me Sam? He never did. Sugar, darlin’, goldilocks, sweetass, anything on his redneck vocabulary, but never Sam. It made me force myself to focus on his face, my head exploding at the effort, until I was able to see his expression.

No smile, no jokes. He was sitting in a chair by my bed, elbows resting on his knees. His eyes were sunken. By my side on the bed, Honey moved her heavy body closer, resting her head on top of my stomach. My much smaller looking stomach…

“What happened?”

“Got back home after watch and found the dog in. Hair all over the place. Knew you’d been there so went looking for ya. Gone… Got Mich and went out looking for ya. Found a shit ton ‘o walkers surrounding a car, music on, all the goddamn dead from miles around going at it… Had to make more noise than ya to get part of’em away and kill the rest, but got to ta. Out like a rock, vomit all over. Ya lucky ya didn’t breathe that shit in.”

Lucky… I snorted, looking away from him to the ceiling.

“Ya don’t think ya got lucky? Fuckin corpses were this close to breakin’ in and eatin ya alive!”

“It’s what I was there for, Merle,” I told him firmly but my voice felt weak. “You weren’t supposed to find me.”

“That what ya wanted? What you was tryin’ to do?”

“Yes. It was. You risked yourselves with all the walkers to get me out but you shouldn’t have. Ain’t worth it.”

“Ya talking shit right now, sis. Ya not on yer right mind.”

I shook my head and turned to my side, giving Merle my back. “Just… Leave me alone.”

He took long seconds to move, silence filling the room behind me. Honey snuggled with me and I threw an arm over her body. She smelled clean… Someone had been taking care of her. Good, not even Honey really needed me anymore. Better for her. I eventually heard Merle get up and slowly leave the room. I was glad to be left alone, I just wanted to sleep and nothing else, but it wasn’t even a minute until I heard movement again. I looked over my shoulder at the door and saw Michonne standing there, holding the door handle. I said nothing, just stared back at her. Her face was sad, pitiful, lips tight because I knew her, she was trying to suppress something she wanted to say.

I looked away, staring at the wall again.

“Do not pity me, Michonne,” I told her and the bitterness in my voice scared even myself.

“I don’t pity you, Sam. I understand you.”

“If you understand me you should’ve left me there.”

“You really think I’d ever leave you to die? Just like that?”

“Yeah, great. Thank now. Now just leave me the fuck alone. All of you”.

She did leave after a moment, taking a wile just like Merle had, and I knew nothing else after that. I fell asleep, Honey’s warm body comforting me, and must have been there for hours. I was miserable, smelling, in dire need to pee but with no wish to get up at all. I might just do it right there. I had small, quick dreams as I slept, more like flashes of image. The baby in my arms. The man’s knife coming in my direction. Daryl screaming at the farm. Walkers all around the car. Honey getting eaten by the dead. My image on the mirror, no enlarged stomach. Myself alone and naked in the woods.

Andrea came in eventually. She looked just as depressed as the others had as she took a seat on the chair by the bed. She said nothing for a while, and I didn’t move to look at her behind me. I was probably going to fall asleep again, ignoring her, when she spoke.

“You wish you were dead right now, don’t you?”

Ok, this started different from the others. I said nothing.

“You wanted to die, and they stopped you from it. From going on with your choice.”

Oh. Oh, okay. She’d gone through it. She’d tried to die before and someone stopped her. Slowly, I turned in bed to my other side and looked at her. “Dale stopped you,” I said.

“He did. And I hated him for it. You all heard… He had no right to take the choice away from my hands. He made me stay alive and keep feeling all those things I was feeling. Things I didn’t want to feel anymore…”

Damn straight.

“They hurt too much… The fear of all in my bones… The need to seem strong because this need had always been part of me… To prove I was strong. It was overwhelming. And the loss… My little sister, such a good person, so much better than myself, just gone like that, turning into one of those things… I couldn’t bare it, I wanted to be dead and not feeling. And he took it away from me.”

Tears had escaped my eyes even though I didn’t really cry. I knew it, and now I understood her completely. I hadn’t, not really, back then.

“But then…” she started again. “It got…” she stopped to think of her words. “Less painful. Slowly, gradually, so slowly sometimes it felt like nothing in my feelings was changing, but over time… I’ll never forget her, it will never stop hurting that she is dead and everyone else I knew from before probably is too. It never will… But I learned how to live with it, how to move forward. And who I am now… Things I’ve learned, how much I feel I’ve changed, and most of it all is thanks to you, would never have happened if Dale hadn’t stopped me that day at the CDC.”

I closed my eyes, tired. Of course she’d get to this, saying I shouldn’t hate them for saving my life.

“You hated him, Andrea,” I said weakly.

“I did. It’s why I understand what you’re feeling for both Merle and Michonne now. I get it, I’ve felt it. But it passed. If I ever see him again, I’ll tell him that no matter the things I told him back then, I am grateful now. Because all the things I’m living now, learning, growing, building in this place? I’d have nothing of it if he’d let me blow up that day. I wouldn’t have this family we’ve built. I wouldn’t have built this good relationship I have with Merle, I wouldn’t have you and Michonne as my chosen sisters. I just didn’t know it back then.”

All her words made sense, if I was rational about them. But I wasn’t. All I could feel was this pain inside my chest, drowning me, and I couldn’t see how one day I’d be glad to be alive again. I just couldn’t see it… I said nothing, just wishing she’d go and let me fall asleep again.

“I know you don’t see it now,” she moved on. “If someone told me those things back then, I would either. But you will… One day you will. You just gotta stay alive until you get there. Just say alive one more day, one at a time.”

I didn’t see her get out, because I kept my eyes closed, thinking of those last words.

Just one more day. One at a time.

 * * *

 Day 238

 “Alright, time to get the fuck up!”

For the first few seconds I had no idea what was happening. My blanket was pulled back roughly from me, coldness startling me like hell, and then hands were grabbing me, pulling me up and off the bed like I was a puppet. When I registered it was Merle getting me off the bed and could muster any kind of reaction, he had pushed me all the way to the kitchen already.

“The fuck you doing?!”

“I’m getting ya out of that shithole you dug yaself into! Out, now!”

Things were spinning, my head hurt, I felt like vomiting. I wanted a drink and I recognized I was probably in withdrawal all these days, my body shutting off and depression making me sleep though most of it.

“Get off me, Merle!” I shouted at him, trying to get him to let go of my arm.

“Ain’t gonna happen, sweetcheeks! Ya comin’ with me.”

He dragged me out to the street. I was barefoot, wearing a thin camisole, bald, probably looked like hell, but still I fought him. I kicked and screamed for him to let me go, he was hurting my arm as he made me walk with him. I saw the others around looking at the scene, shocked, but Merle didn’t mind them. He rounded the house, dragging me to the woods area, straight in the direction of the side hedge, my bare feet on the dry earth. In any other moment of my life I’d been able to fight him off, defend myself, but now my mind was blurred and it was like I didn’t know any self-defense movement, nor would I have the energy to do them if I did. So I just yelled, cursed at him, called him all the names I knew. Soon he stopped and turned to me, both hands strongly grabbing my shoulders to make me look at him.

“Shut up now!” he yelled. “Ya sad, bottomed down, I fuckin’ get it!”

“Then let go of me!!”

“But while ya been in bed drowning or out there drinkin’ and tryin’ to get yaself killed, we all been here! Watching over ya! Taking care of the Village! Keeping ya and the place safe!” and then he roughly turned me, making me look away from him, his hands still holding my arms from behind, “and getting your boy a proper resting place!”

Then I saw what he wanted to show me. Where he had dragged me to.

My baby’s tombstone.

I stopped struggling and stared at it, unable to look away. They were unbelievable. It was so well made, so carefully thought and built with the little tools we had these days. The stone was made of concrete and stood over a mount of earth with fresh grass starting to grow on it, a rectangle of stones pained in white and fresh yellow wild flowers adorning it.

Merle let go of my arms.

On the stone, they’d written it in the same white paint.

Jack Dixon-Danes.

My dad’s name. Daryl’s name. My name. Jack Dixon-Danes.

Merle said nothing else, just stood there behind me, out of my sight but solid. I slowly sank to my knees and let myself fall to the ground as I stared at it. They’d done this for him, carried him out there, paid their respects, buried him. It had to be hard for them too…

“Jack…” it came out a whisper and it made Merle move. He lowered himself to the ground by my side, a little behind, crossing his legs.

“We had to choose it for ya… Michonne knew your dad, said you’d like it.”

I nodded. She was right. The woman knew me back then, knew me well now. I hadn’t chosen the name before, deciding to choose when I saw him, but Jack had been one of my main options. I closed my eyes, allowing tears to spill. My heart had been thundering ever since Merle woke me up, and it was now slowing down, calmer. Even so, I allowed myself to cry, mourning the loss of my son, permitting the pain to come to the surface. I’d been avoiding it for too long.

Merle held me as I cried, pulling my back to his chest, firm and unmoving for a long, long time, and he kept saying things. He told me how he knew nobody was suffering more than I was but they were all mourning too, and to make it worse they had almost lost me as well. He told me how important I was to all of them, how I was family, his sister, and that Jack was a Dixon and I had taught him that being a Dixon was not a bad thing. He said he had a missing brother and a nephew in heaven already, couldn’t lose me too.

It was amazing how transformed Merle was. And I, apparently, had a part in it.

After crying out all I had to cry right now, and after a while I was just sniffing quietly, looking at Jack’s name and still near Merle, my back no his chest, my head fallen on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Merle…”

“I know ya sorry, darlin’. But ya ain’t gotta apologize.”

We got up from the ground what felt like hours later. I was sore and weak. Strangely, for the first time in all those days, I felt hungry. I had more important things than eating to do right now, though. Merle left me in front of Andrea’s house, giving me a kiss on the forehead before heading away. I watched him go thinking of how lucky I was to have such a brother now, an inevitable comparison between the Merle he was for the entire time I knew him before, and now. Feeling my eyes welled up and my nose prickling, I turned and limbed the few steps to the porch of Andrea’s house and knocked.

As if she’d been waiting for me, Andrea opened quickly. Seeing me there, she smiled with her lips closed, a breath coming out and tenderness all over her eyes. I extended a hand to her and she took it with no hesitation, and then I led her out to the front yard and to Michonne’s place right by hers. Still holding Andrea’s hand, I knocked and, again, it was like she was waiting for me, opening in a second.

Michonne had the same tenderness in her eyes seeing me there, but instead of a smile on her lips, hers trembled with emotion and she pulled me to her, hugging me tight and crying. I let it go as well, sobbing with her. There was something about being held and feel the empathy of a woman who also had lost a child. She understood. She knew how I felt. Miranda would know too. This thought, as terrible as it was to know both women had suffered it, comforted me somehow. I was not alone.

Andrea, Michonne and I spent the night together that day, at Michonne’s place. I was hugged by Andrea too, her height making my head rest on her breasts and she shushed me tenderly like a mom would. We sat together at the table, had dinner and desert, then tea, and talked a lot, with no stopping. I told them all I was feeling, deciding not to hold anything back. I told them I’d wished to die and hated Michonne and Merle for saving me. I told Andrea what I understood what she’d gone through months ago when she was the one who wanted to die, and that her telling me so a couple of days ago had helped more than she thought. I told them I didn’t even really want to find Daryl and the others anymore for fear of telling him what happened to Jack, for being terrified of seeing him suffer. I told them I still didn’t know how to move on with life now and that maybe I’d never know. I told them how much I wished that tea was wine. I told them I loved them, thanked them for being there for me, thanked Michonne for going out there to save my life, told them they were my family.

And the three of us cried a lot that night, and fell asleep all huddled up in Michonne’s bed.

[whimperandabang]

7, 10 and 11!! :)

7: Describe your aesthetic in emojis.

I’ll try lmao I am waaaay too scatterbrained to have an aesthetic irl but online it’s something like this:

💫🌌💖🥺📝🎶

10: What’s the last song you sang to?

I think it was We Must Be Killers by Mikky Ekko.

11: What are your favorite colors?

Teal and lavender!