#Mordred knows everyone and everything

[count-pudding]

Arthur having a middle age crisis, and Merlin is just Merlin

I had a vision

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! I'm back with another Merlin au idea! This story was actually supposed to be a part of my fic "What to do When an Eldritch God Decides That You're Friend-Shaped", but I decided that this idea didn't really mesh well with the rest of that fic and would probably be better off as its own separate story.

And I will say, in my opinion, that this is probably one of my best au ideas yet. I had so much fun just writing this! Also, heads up, this post is going to be very long because I really love this idea! So, I hope you all enjoy! :D

In this au, which is set post-Camlann, Morgana wasn't able to take Merlin's magic away before the battle, so Merlin was able to save Arthur and defeat both Mordred and Morgana without revealing his magic. He was also able to prevent Gwaine's death since he kept Morgana preoccupied in the battle. So, Camelot is saved, and everything is great!

Except, Arthur has some questions. He knows from Morgana's furious screams during the battle that she was killed by a sorcerer named "Emrys", but Arthur never saw him. And Arthur recognized that name from when Morgana taunted him years ago by saying "Not even Emrys can save you now."

Arthur knows that he owes his kingdom and perhaps his life to this Emrys guy, but he knows nothing about him other than that he's a very powerful sorcerer, more powerful than Morgana. This frightens Arthur, as he doesn't know what Emrys wants or why he helps Arthur. For all Arthur knows, Emrys could be just biding his time to take over Camelot and was simply doing away with his competition by killing Morgana.

After things calmed down after the battle of Camlann, Arthur decides that he needs more information on Emrys. Who he is, what are his motives, how can they find him, and a million other details that Arthur needs to ensure his people's safety. He first goes to Gaius for information, but Gaius can tells him that, according to the myths of the Old Religion, Emrys is the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth and is held in high regard by the druids.

Gaius's answer only heightens Arthur's alarm, as the prospect of having to fight to most powerful sorcerer ever is terrifying to him. However, he still doesn't have any good information on Emrys, so he goes to the next best source: the druids.

Thanks to Arthur making peace with the druids after promising the ghost of the young druid boy and permitting them to use their magic for peaceful purposes only, there were a couple druid camps not far from Camelot. Arthur picked the closer one and took a day to travel there alongside Merlin and a few knights in the hopes of finally getting some answers.

When they arrive at the camp, they're met with worried glances and panicked faces, but the druid elders welcome them into the camp nonetheless, offering them all a seat by their campfire and warm meal. Once they got settled and Arthur exchanged some pleasantries with Iseldir, the druid chieftain, Arthur was finally able to ask what had been plaguing him for weeks.

"Iseldir, I know that your people hold a sorcerer named Emrys in high regard, and it's come to my attention that he was responsible for Morgana's defeat at Camlann and possibly on other occasions. Please, I need to know more about him and why he's chosen to help me."

Several people froze and tensed at Arthur's questions, including Merlin. Arthur sighed internally at Merlin's usual panic. He knew that Merlin could become easily scared in the face of magic, so he should have knows that his friend wouldn't approve of Arthur actively seeking out a dangerous sorcerer.

After a short, tense pause, Iseldir clears his throat and responds.

"I'd be happy to answer some of your questions about the god of magic!"

Wait, did Arthur hear that correctly? God of magic?! Arthur, in his shock, blurted out,

"Emrys is a god?! I had heard that he was a powerful sorcerer, not some deity!"

Iseldir chuckled a bit before responding,

"Emrys is indeed the god of magic in the Old Religion, the son of the Triple Goddess herself! He is not simply the master of magic, but rather magic itself, its very incarnation!"

That... was a rather frightening prospect, and it confused Arthur even further. Why would magic itself fight against Morgana? Why take Arthur's side? And, perhaps more importantly, was Arthur going to have to fight a god in order to protect his kingdom?!

Iseldir continued before Arthur's hysterical thought could bubble up to the surface.

"As I said, I'm happy to answer your questions, but please know that there are some secrets that Emrys has entrusted our people with that we cannot divulge, and there are some truths that might be... difficult for you in particular."

Arthur frowned at Iseldir's answer, unsure of what to make of it.

"What do you mean it might be difficult for me in particular?"

Iseldir winced a bit, grimacing like he didn't know how to respond without warranting a negative response.

"Well, there are some elements of Emrys's story that intertwine with your own life in some ways that you might not expect or be ready to hear at this point. Your life and Emrys's are highly connected, King Arthur, even if you don't know the extent of it yet."

Arthur's eyes widened at this admission. His life was connected to this mysterious god of the old religion? How could that possibly be true? He had didn't even know that Emrys was a god until a few moments ago! However, as curious as he was about what Iseldir could be talking about, he had more pressing matters at hand.

"We can discuss how I am connected to Emrys later. For now, I need answers to more important questions. Why does Emrys help Camelot? What is he hoping to get out of it?"

Iseldir looked much happier to answer this question, speaking calmly with a serene smile on his face.

"Emrys had many reasons to stand against the witch. She frequently hunted down and killed more peaceful magic users who did not share her taste for vengeance and bloodshed, including our fellow druids and even the Catha, a small sect of priests of the Old Religion that followed Emrys's will. Emrys fought against Morgana to protect these followers of his from her wrath."

Arthur nodded at Iseldir's explanation. As odd as it felt to have something in common with a god of the Old Religion, he could understand very well the drive to protect his own people. If Emrys's people were also in danger because of Morgana, it made sense for him to join forces with Arthur, even if Arthur was unaware of that alliance. Seeing Arthur's understanding, Iseldir continued with his explanation.

"Emrys also fought against Morgana in order to punish her for her hubris and use of dark magic. There are certain dark arts that take the power that Emrys grants us and twist it into a horrible force, bound only by the will of its user. Such arts are expressly forbidden by Emrys, and he cannot control what sorcerers do with such magic after its been corrupted so thoroughly. Morgana frequently used such forbidden arts and claimed the title of high priestess while ignoring the will of the gods, even the one that she drew her power from. Emrys is normally slow to anger, but for such transgressions, he became furious with Morgana and sought to punish her for treason against magic itself."

Arthur understood that a little bit less, but he could also relate to Emrys's reasoning as a king who had also had to punish some of his own citizens for treason.

"I can see that Emrys stood opposed to Morgana, but does Camelot have anything to fear from him? I can understand why he might not be very forgiving towards us considering my father's actions during his reign."

To Arthur's immense relief, Iseldir shook his head slightly before providing an explanation.

"No, Camelot has nothing to fear from Emrys. He knows that not everyone in Camelot agreed with your father's actions, and he can see progress that you've made since the end of your father's reign. In fact, Emrys has assisted Camelot many times even when Morgana wasn't involved!"

Arthur reeled backwards in shock at Iseldir words. The god of magic, helping Camelot freely? Despite everything his father had done?! Iseldir's explanation forced Arthur to re-evaluate what he knew of the Old Religion.

He had always seen the Old Religion and its gods as monstrous and barbaric. However, that wasn't the case, was it? Emrys had saved the kingdom that sought to destroy him. The Disir had shown Mordred mercy, even though Arthur had rejected their offer. The White Goddess had restored Guinevere's soul at the Cauldron of Arianrhod and healed her of Morgana's curse. Were all of the gods and goddesses of the Old Religion so benevolent and kind? Had Arthur misunderstood the Old Religion for his entire life?

However, Arthur was still shocked at Emrys in particular choosing to help Camelot, supposedly with no ulterior motives besides a common enemy in Morgana. That was how Camelot had survived against such odds? How could it be that magic itself was on their side?!

As Arthur looked at Iseldir again however, he noticed that the druid chieftain's face had pulled into a grimace again. Arthur certainly knew that look, he had seen it on the faces of his council members frequently.

"There's something that you aren't telling me, isn't there? I know that there are some things that you may be hesitant to divulge, but please, I must know everything I can about Emrys, for the safety of my kingdom."

Iseldir paused again, sighing deeply. He sat still for a moment, as if pondering how to proceed.

"Truthfully, there is another reason why Emrys assisted you, but it involves what I spoke of earlier, wen I said that your life and Emrys's are connected in ways that you may not expect. I am willing to tell you such things, but these truths might be hard for you to hear."

Arthur leaned forward, his curiosity piqued again.

"I have learned many uncomfortable truths about my own life through the years, so I will ask you: how could my life be connected to the god of magic?"

Iseldir nodded at Arthur's words and began speaking with a serious, nearly grim, voice.

"I assume that you are familiar with how life is exchanged in the practice of the Old Religion? For any life give, a life must be taken."

Arthur flinched backwards at Iseldir's words, already recognizing what topic was about to be brought up. He had come to terms with the truth of his birth years ago, but hearing it again didn't make it any easier. Blinking back tears, Arthur responded.

"Yes, I... I know. I'm aware that my father made a deal with the priestess Nimueh to secure an heir, and I know that my mother was the one who paid the price in the end."

Arthur heard quiet gasps coming from the knights around him, while Merlin silently put a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder. Iseldir, after a moment, continued with his explanation.

"You are correct in your understanding, however, there is one part of the story that you are unaware of."

Arthur jolted in shock at Iseldir's words. There was more to the story of his birth? Frantically, Arthur started asking questions.

"What do you mean? What haven't I been told?"

Iseldir patiently and softly answered Arthur's questions, trying to soften the crushing revelation that he was about to tell Arthur.

"The balance of life and death is at the very core of the Old Religion. However, it is not the power of creation. The power over life and death was used by the high priestesses to resurrect and bring life to someone who has already passed. To magically create a new life, a new soul, from nothing is an act of creation, something that takes far more power than manipulating the balance of life and death. An act of creation takes the power of a god."

"I... I don't understand. What are you trying to tell me?"

"I am sorry that you had to find out this way, King Arthur. But in order to successfully ensure that your mother and father had an heir, Nimueh called upon the power of her patron god: Emrys."

This time, it was Arthur was gasped in shock at this information, hysteria rising in him once again.

"Are you telling me that Emrys was responsible for my very creation?! That it was his power that created me?!"

"More than that, I'm afraid. To create your soul, Emrys did more than just weave his own power into a life. He cut out a shard of his own soul and breathed life into it, thus creating you. While we don't know his reasons for doing so, Emrys created you from a part of his own being."

Arthur felt like his breath had just been punched out of him. What... what did this mean?!

Iseldir must have seen his panic, and further clarified.

"In the eyes of the gods, this made Emrys your true creator and, in the eyes of the magical world, your father."

At those words, Arthur stopped breathing entirely. Unbeknownst to Iseldir, who kept going with his explanation, Arthur entire worldview was collapsing in on itself.

Magic itself was his father?! What did that even mean?!

And oh god was he even a Pendragon? Did he even have a legitimate claim to the throne of Camelot?!

Arthur's panic was so strong that he could barely feel how Merlin's supportive hand on his shoulder was now clenching hard enough to bruise.

(Meanwhile, inside Merlin's panicking mind: WTF??! Oh shit I owed HOW MUCH to Uther Pendragon in child support?! Am I a deadbeat dad to my own best friend??)

"This is why you triumphed over any foe, magical or otherwise. Emrys forbade any magic from truly harming you, and he rose to protect you when you needed him. He will always fight by your side, as you are, in many ways, a part of him."

Iseldir paused, now noticing Arthur's hyperventilating.

"I assume that you have many questions following this news. Please, feel free to ask anything, there's no need to be scared by this!"

Arthur took a deep breath and tried to keep from laugh hysterically. No need to be scared?! His entire life had just been turned on its head!

"If... if Emrys is my true father, what about Uther? Do I even have a claim to my throne?"

"Ah, there's no need to worried about that. While Emrys might be your father in terms of your soul, Uther is still your father in terms of blood. Do not fret, King Arthur, you are still of Pendragon blood and have every rightful claim to your throne."

Arthur calmed down a bit at Iseldir's words, breathing much easier now. This explained so many things about Arthur's life, how he had survived in situations that he by all means shouldn't have. Still, he had many questions for Iseldir.

"If I am truly the son of magic itself, am I even human, or am I some sort of demigod?"

At this question, Iseldir shook his head.

"That, I truly do not know. I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone knows the answer to that question except for Emrys himself."

Finally, an idea occurred to Arthur. He stiffened as he blurted out,

"Can I speak with him then? Is there any way to summon him?"

As soon as the idea took root in Arthur's mind, he couldn't get it out. Emrys had to have been looking out for Arthur for many years now, using his power to protect him. This notion of having a secret father who had been caring for him for years almost felt like having a second chance.

Arthur never had the relationship with Uther that he wanted. There was no affection, no bonding, and no comfort to be found there. Only expectations and demands.

But Emrys had apparently been helping Arthur for years with no expectations and no demands. Arthur had fantasized as a young boy about what it would have been like to have a kind, caring father, the kind he saw doting on their children in the marketplace. Now, it almost seemed like he had another chance of having a father, one who truly cared about him!

So naturally, Arthur wanted to meet him! Both the druids and the knights look slightly confused at Arthur's excited outburst about wanting to meet Emrys, but the druids tell him that they have everything that they need to perform a summoning ritual, but they'd need some time to set it up.

Arthur asks if they can set it up for him, and they nod and walk away to begin preparations. Meanwhile, Merlin and the knights ask Arthur if he's just lost his mind. They know that this must be shocking for him, but does he need to summon a god?!

Merlin shows the most vocal opposition to Arthur's plan, saying that they still don't even know if they can trust Emrys. All they have to go on is the word of the druids, and they seem pretty biased in Emrys's favor.

Arthur smiles and tells Merlin that he appreciates his protectiveness, but this is something that Arthur needs to do. He needs this closure, this chance to connect with his last living parent.

Arthur does take Merlin's concerns into consideration though, and orders for his men to leave the camp and take Merlin with them, so they're far away and protected if Emrys turns out to be untrustworthy.

(As the knights drag a struggling Merlin away, Merlin is frantically talking with Iseldir in his mind about what the summoning ritual entails and what it looks like. If he magically pops up next to Arthur right as Arthur does a ritual to summon Emrys, even Arthur would be able to put two and two together!

Luckily, Iseldir informs him that the summoning ritual will summon his soul, not his body, and Arthur wouldn't be able to recognize him. Still, Merlin tried to talk the druids out of the ritual, because Merlin doesn't want his soul to get yanked out of his body! But there was little that the druids could do with Arthur insisting on the ritual.)

After preparing the materials for the ritual, the druids take Arthur back into a tent to get him ready. Arthur's heart pounded in his chest with both excitement and fear as the druids walked him through what he had to do.

First, they gave him some plain but comfortable robes to change in to. They explained that Emrys preferred his followers to come to him in the garments of peace, not war, so his armor, chainmail, and weapons would have to be left in the tent.

After changing into the robes, Arthur felt strangely both vulnerable and comforted. As the druids rubbed some flowery smelling oil into his arms and then led him to a small wooden altar, Arthur couldn't help comparing this experience to approaching Uther.

Whenever he was meeting with his father, Arthur was expected to show no weakness, no flaws. He had to look the part of the warrior prince, trained since birth and hardened by battle. However, here with Emrys, Arthur was dressed in comfortable clothes and told to simply ask for Emrys's presence before the altar. He didn't need a sacrifice or penance or any sort of challenge to summon Emrys. All that the druids told him was to "call for him, and Emrys will answer."

Placing one hand gently on the wooden surface of the intricately carved altar, Arthur cleared his throat wetly before saying aloud to the empty space in front of him,

"Emrys, I'm... I'm not sure if you're here, but I'm your- your son, Arthur. You probably know me already, though, since you've been helping me and protecting me for a long time now. I- I wanted to thank you for your help. So, I would appreciate it if you could appear, so I could meet you and thank you in person."

There, Arthur thought that was a pretty good introduction! This was his first time meeting his new father, so he needed to make a good first impression!

Arthur stood, awkwardly shifting on his feet as he tried to push down his disappointment with each passing moment that Emrys did not appear. Maybe Arthur did it wrong? Maybe Emrys hadn't heard him? Or maybe Emrys had heard him, but was disappointed in Arthur and deemed him a weak son, just like Uther had?

As Arthur tried to swallow down his hurt, suddenly, there was a bright flash of light above the altar. It was so bright that Arthur had to throw his hand in front of his eyes and turn away, but his heart leapt at the sight.

Was this it?! Was he about to meet his creator and have another chance at having a father?

As soon as he could, Arthur lowered his hand and opened his eyes, anxiously awaiting his first glimpse at Emrys! As the light died down, Arthur was able to make out the outline of something...

As the light slowly dwindled, Arthur could see a bright, glowing ball of golden light, very similar to the one that had saved him from that cave so many years ago, floating above the altar. His eyes widened as he realized what, or more likely who, this light must be.

Emrys was a god after all, Arthur really shouldn't have assumed that he'd look like a human. The god of magic taking a human form, what a crazy idea!

Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Arthur called out to the light.

"Emrys? Is that you?"

At his words, the light floated down from the altar until it was hovering right in front of Arthur, an arm's reach away. Arthur fought the urge to reach out and touch the light, just to see if it was real and not just a product of his own wishful thinking.

After a couple seconds, the ball of light flashed, and Arthur heard what sounded like multiple voices coming from it, speaking in unison.

"Hello Arthur. I'm so glad to finally be able to meet you. I am Emrys."

(Elsewhere, Merlin mentally patted himself on the back for making his soul-self sound sufficiently inhuman and speak in a manner that was completely unlike his usual self. Arthur couldn't possibly figure his identity out now!)

Arthur let out a sound that was something between a joyful laugh and a sob. Emrys actually came! Clearing his throat, Arthur tried to calm down his excitement and nerves and put on his best diplomat voice. He needed to start off strong here!

"I'm glad that we could meet as well. It's come to my attention that I have many things to thank you for, including Camelot's victory over Morgana in our latest battle. You might have saved all of Camelot, and I owe you a debt of gratitude."

Emrys silently floated in place for a moment, making Arthur sweat with nervousness. Had he already blown his one chance of having a caring parent?

Finally, Emrys's... orb body (what else was Arthur supposed to call it?!) glowed again and spoke with his multiple voices overlapping in harmony.

"You do not owe me anything, Arthur. There are no debts between us. We are family, tied together by our very souls. You never have to feel indebted to me for protecting you and Camelot. I do it not for a reward or recognition, but because I care for you."

Arthur's eyes misted over as he took in Emrys's words. How many times had he wished to hear anything like that from Uther? How many nights had he lied awake wondering what unconditional love from a parent would feel like?

As tears started silently rolling down Arthur's face, Emrys drifted closer to him. Arthur was startled by this move and didn't really know how to respond. Hesitantly, he lifted his hands to ball of light, unsure of what to do.

Slowly, the light moved towards Arthur's outreached hands. Arthur almost expected to flinch back upon contact, but instead, when his hands finally touched the ball of light itself, he was only met with a warm, comforting sensation, and he instantly relaxed and leaned into it. The only thing he could compare it to were those warm hugs that Merlin gave him whenever he felt down, which he would never admit to Merlin that he enjoyed.

Arthur gently guided the light closer, until he was hugging it against his chest and that wonderful warm fuzzy feeling was spreading through his entire body. Arthur wondered if this counted as getting a hug from his father, and then immediately decided that the answer was yes. And his new father apparently gave very good hugs.

Arthur stayed with Emrys for several more minutes, until the sun was setting. From there, Emrys told him that he had spent too much time in the mortal realm and couldn't hold his form for much longer without taking time to rest. Panicking, Arthur asked if he would be able to see Emrys again, he couldn't lose his new father so soon after meeting him!

Emrys reassured him that they'd see each other again soon and that he'd be by Arthur's side the whole time, even if Arthur couldn't see him. Comforted by this news, Arthur bid his new father farewell, and the ball of light slowly dissipated.

Arthur then returned to Merlin and his knights, who had a million questions for Arthur. Arthur answered their burning questions as best he could, and they were relieved to see that Arthur was safe and not scarred by the experience of talking to the god of magic.

The next day, they returned to Camelot, and Arthur soon realized that even if he couldn't see Emrys himself, he could certainly the effects that Emrys had on the world around him.

Arthur never fell sick, his rooms were never too hot or too cold, his muscles were never sore from training, his attackers that snuck into the castle never managed to land a hit on him, his kingdom's crops prospered, and a million other things went right in Arthur's life, and for the very first time, Arthur understood.

Magic loved him. And, more importantly, his father loved him.

And it didn't escape other people's notice either. He had told the knights that he had brought with him to the druid camp to not discuss the revelation of his relationship to Emrys, but one knight got drunk at the tavern and told his friend, and someone overheard, and now everyone in the kingdom had heard the news that King Arthur was apparently the son of a god.

The fact that Arthur had secretly prayed for Emrys's help when Gaius reported about a deadly plague in the lower town, only for Emrys to immediately appear again as a ball of light in the middle of a council meeting in front of dozens of witnesses didn't help Arthur keep it a secret either.

(Meanwhile, Merlin hears all of Arthur's prayers for Emrys. He's able to take care of most of Arthur's concerns just as Merlin, but a very powerful/emotional prayer from Arthur actually summons him in his "Emrys" form, leading to some awkward moments, but he makes it work for Arthur's sake.)

On the bright side of Arthur's heritage being revealed, other kingdoms were now much more open to peaceful negotiations and trade deals.

And on one occasion where a very foolish king tried to declare war on Arthur, the enemy king's army only made it a hundred yards of Camelot's forces before the earth itself broke open into a wide chasm that started swallowing the leaders of the enemy army whole. No one was stupid enough to attempt an attack on Camelot after that.

Life goes on like this for about a year, until Arthur catches Merlin using magic for some mundane purpose. Arthur is shocked of course, but magic has been legal for a while now. When he questions Merlin on where he learned magic from, Merlin stammers and says "Well... uh, Emrys..."

Arthur cut Merlin off, yelling because apparently his father was teaching Merlin magic behind his back?! What was that about!

Merlin then decides to take this misunderstanding and roll with it, because there's no way in hell that he's looking Arthur in the eyes and telling him that he's actually Arthur's magical father.

Merlin spins a story about how Emrys had been slowly teaching Merlin magic so Merlin could help Arthur out and always have someone nearby with magic to protect him! Arthur accepts this story, but is secretly a little bit jealous. How come Emrys chose to teach Merlin magic and not his own son?

After Arthur asks Emrys about this, Emrys apologizes to Arthur, saying that he didn't know if Arthur would be interested. He then starts trying to teach Arthur magic (to pretty much no success). To further apologize to Arthur, Emrys gives him a gift! Emrys had apparently heard about how Uther had forbidden Arthur from having a pet as a child despite Arthur begging for one, so Emrys decided to remedy this by giving Arthur a baby dragon to take care of and to train to protect Camelot.

Everyone else is alarmed by this, but Arthur is almost moved to tears because he loves the little dragon so much already!

And this au is already wayyyy too long, so I'll cut it off there! I'm tempted to call this the "Arthur gets catfished into a healthy parental relationship" au lol!

I hope you all enjoyed this au! Sorry about it being longer than usual, but I had a lot that I wanted to write about this au idea! And if you want to see even more of this au, feel free to let me know if you'd like a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my (very long) ramblings! :D

[roll-for-gaslight]

While I think Sklonda is right to be critical of the Bad Kids and specifically Kristen, I think that a lot of the reason she did so is that she was missing a lot of context the other parents were given. We see in Freshman Year that she’s often given the information about their quests from Riz, several hours after the fact, and he shares clues with her rather than personal things. He doesn’t think the personal bits are what she cares about because, for him, that’s not the problem being solved. He’s happy with his friends and she only really would hear if one of them caused a problem. Her apartment isn’t a hangout like Seacaster Manor, Mordred Manor, the Thistlespring Tree, or even Gilear’s season one apartment were. By the nature of her being a single working mother in a difficult financial situation, she often was left out of extracurricular activities.

For example, Mordred is obviously a place filled with a lot of activity, and plenty of kids to give updates on said activity if something slips through the cracks of someone’s retelling. If Adaine leaves out a personal moment because she’s focused on the case, Fig or Kristen or even Ragh could fill in that blank, plus the fact that the other BKs spend a lot of time there means that Sandralynn, Jawbone, and Lydia are usually getting every side of every story. The Thistlespring Tree is where the Bad Kids go not just because it’s a nice place to spend time, but because it’s often directly tied into a plot or subplot! The power source in season one, the satellite in season two, and Gorgug’s artificer journey + the whole Frosty Faire thing going on now! Besides that, the Thistlesprings have raised Gorgug in a way that encourages open channels of communication about his emotions above all else, so he tells them what’s going on! Fabian’s parents over at Seacaster Manor haven’t been involved so much this season, but Bill Seacaster saw their bond from the start and taught them how to take care of each other and fight as a group, and Gilear has always been heavily involved in their adventures because all of the BKs have been emotionally invested in him as well!

Aside from that, she’s missing the context of actually being able to attend their quests like some other parents/guardians were able to in Sophomore Year! Gilear and Cathilda and Sandralynn all know things like the fact that everyone was worried about Riz and called him their little angel when he was gone and that Kristen saved him almost at the expense of her own life in the Nightmare King’s forest. She never sees them together, the way they’ll risk everything for each other when the chips are down, the way they all show they care in little ways all the time ( like Fig giving him the card or Fabian’s gifts in Freshman Year). She doesn’t understand that while “the Ball” may have come from a bully on the first day of school, it turned into a term of endearment! She doesn’t see how hard they’ve been trying this year to pass their classes and such, not because it matters to them, but because they know it’s important to Riz. He never even explained the whole needing scholarships thing to them! He showed up with folders on the first day, stressed out of his mind about all of them passing together, and basically decided to get their shit together! Sure, it took Kristen and Fig a little while to do it, but that’s because they were struggling to build better habits!

I also understand how she could think Riz does all of the heavy lifting: when he presents the clues to her and he’s their lead investigator, do you think she assumed other people did the finding? Absolutely not! She doesn’t see the way they put things together by focusing on their individual strengths; she only sees Riz trying to put it all together and find the connections. Why would she know that a lot of the investigative work was done by Adaine and Kristen in sophomore year because so much of it had to do with religion? She wouldn’t!

All this to say: Sklonda is a good mom for checking in with Riz, but she also has a narrow view of things that no one else has. If she were to be exposed to the BKs more often and actually pay attention to how things work between them, I think she would be much more understanding.

[the-kingshound]

To tie you over until the official update, and to reward everyone for being so patient, here is the complete first scene of the next update, picking just after MC left with Saraah.

SPOILER

Camelot, the King’s private chambers

Arthur fixes once again the cape around his shoulders.

“How do I look?” he asks, turning around.

Tristan steps forward, his movements measured and heavy, posture rigid as it almost always is. He is Arthur’s oldest Round Table Knight, and he bears the sign of age as well as numerous scars acquired during his years close to King Uther. The majority of them aren’t battle scars, but Arthur doesn’t allow themselves to think about it, because it would surely make them spiral.

“You look like a King.”

Despite the cool tone of his voice, bordering on detached formality, his words bring Arthur a sort of soothing comfort that is there regardless of the meaning of the words themselves. Even that is only temporary, though. Arthur’s lips curve up in a hesitant, slightly strained smile.

“Will it be enough?”

Tristan takes a step forward. Slowly, just brushing him, he fixes a stray lock of his King’s hair.

“Yes, it will. It needs to be.”

The discomfort, though, doesn’t lessen around Arthur’s insides. Instead, it only grows when Tristan lowers his arm and takes a step back. Immediately, he misses the contact. His mind buzzes in the same way it did when, trembling, he would walk at night towards the Knights barracks and seek Ser Tristan’s embrace after what his father put him through.

He doesn’t-

He-

Suddenly, Tristan is holding him again. His body isn’t warm, the armour poking Arthur in a way it could become uncomfortable if not for the way the static slowly leaves his brain, leaving a mess of uncertainty and fear behind.

Arthur buries his face in the crook of the older knight’s neck. “I don’t know what to do...”

“You are doing everything Uther would not have done,” Tristan says, evenly. Arthur feels the warm caress of validation on his prickling skin.

Tristan would know.

He lets the silence stretch for a few moments before he murmurs, in a hushed confession, “they are a battle mage. The one who disfigured Bedivere.”

Tristan doesn’t pull away from the embrace yet; even though these days his physical contacts with the King are much shorter in length than they were when he was a terrified child. Arthur soaks up his presence now, while he can.

“The Venegard child?” Tristan asks.

Arthur nods against his neck.

“I will speak of it with them soon. Otherwise, they will rightfully think-“ Arthur’s voice fades.

“…my father would have put them-” he starts to say, voice trembling and cracking on the last word. Anticipating their anxious, spiralling thoughts, Tristan pulls back, though leaving a hand on the King’s arm.

“None of that. He is dead and buried. As for you, don’t burden yourself with more than you can carry.”

Arthur exhales. The weight that has settled heavily on his stomach doesn’t lessen.

“Just as the kingdom is my responsibility, my spouse is my responsibility as well.”

The older knight is about to answer when a knock interrupts him. Arthur wipes his face, curving his lips in a slightly wobbly smile and calling, “yes?”

Ser Ector enters first, placing himself at Tristan’s side and leaving space for Mordred to approach Arthur. Some of the previous stress is replaced by tenderness at the sight of him so put together, face set in a formal expression.

“Oh, look at you,” Arthur can’t resist his cooing. “Are you all set?”

Modred nods, solemn. He stays silent, as he often does, though Arthur has to say that he has been quite less closed off around his soon to be spouse. It might be a naïve hope, but he still does wish for Mordred to grow closer with them. Arthur has tried his best but… obviously, if Mordred feels comfortable around someone, even if it isn’t him, he will welcome it with open arms.

“The Venegard child is about to enter the Chamber of Lords,” Ector announces, ever so direct.

Arthur inhales, straightening himself up as much as he is able to.

“Well then. We shall go. It wouldn’t do to be late to my own wedding.”

[ceo-of-merleon]

Merlin is a heavily complex character, whose character we see develop throughout the whole show, from turning from an empathic person into someone who has lost everything.

We see Merlin die constantly throughout the show but they don’t don’t bring much attention to it, never implying that Merlin even knows that he’s dying, only us, the viewer, understand he is immortal.

Even his prophesied name, Emrys, means immortal.

But Emrys is not Merlin.

Merlin was born of Hunith and Balinor. Emrys was born of pure magic.

Merlin is human. But Emrys is the embodiment of magic, it is not human.

And everytime Merlin dies a part of him chips away, leaving Emrys to fill in the cracks.

Something In the show that isn’t outright stated but is clearly seen through Merlin’s actions is that he not only gets better at magic but also a lot colder. He starts to get the mindset of “whatever it takes” to fulfill his destiny.

Even in the intro of the show kilgrarrah inknowledges that Merlin is changing, from calling him a young boy to calling him a young man, which could symbolize him slowly turning more in Emrys.

When he poisons Morgana in the Fires of Idirsholas, he cries and holds her, regretting what he’s done. But in The Diamond of The Day when he actually kills her he just stares down at her, no emotion in his face, then he just leaves her there and doesn’t look back.

We see him slowly start to hate Morgana more and more over the seasons, at first he doesn’t believe she could ever be evil and tries to help her, then during season three he starts to hate her until season five were he no longer feels any care for her.

During the whole of season five the only thing Merlin thinks about is his destiny with Arthur, he only cares about keeping Arthur alive. Which is only intensified with Mordred being in Camelot.

It’s very clear just how much Merlin hates Mordred, So much that he forgets that Mordred was and still is a child. He’s so blinded by destiny he can’t see that he’s making Mordred prophecy come true.

Not only that but he doesn’t interact with many of his other friends in season five, like he’s so focused on Arthur he ignores everyone else around him.

And even when he finally finds some happiness it’s taken away from him almost immediately, leading him to only become colder, becoming more like Emrys.

And It’s all because Merlin has been dying all throughout the season, slowly revealing Emrys underneath.

when he goes into crystal cave in The Diamond of The Day to restore his magic, Balinor tells him that the heart of the cave will reveal his true self, which is Emrys.

And when he does the last part of Merlin is broken away, leaving only Emrys left. Which not only lets him to have complete control of magic, but also causes him to lose his humanity.

But part of Merlin is still there, deep down inside Emrys, waiting for Arthur to return.

[mandoriana]

Merlin,

We walked together to a nearby village. There had been reports of a count who refused to pay taxes, and I wanted to investigate it myself—you, of course, came with me.

Leon led us through the village, explaining how he had tried to speak peacefully with the count, but the man refused to even open his doors. Percival suggested trying again—people were usually more “cooperative” when they saw him.

We laughed. Gwaine nearly fell off his horse from laughing so hard, but Elyan and Mordred caught him before he hit the ground.

It was good. I missed being with all of you.

Anyway, we went to the count’s house and were forced to break in when he wouldn’t open the door.

In the end, we discovered the reason the count wouldn’t open the door: he was dead. His wife and seven children had killed him. It was cruel and brutal. The woman knelt, begging for mercy. Her husband had abused her and the children. He never intended to leave them an inheritance—he claimed none of them were truly his, that they were all the result of his wife’s betrayal, and that everything would go to his mistress, who was also pregnant.

One of the older sons got angry when he found out and murdered his own father.

I intended to follow the law—send the wife and older children to the dungeons, and the younger ones to an orphanage. But you stopped me with just a look.

“It was self-defense. It was justice,” you said.

I had never thought of it that way. A child attacking his father always seemed blasphemous to me. When I attacked my own father in a moment of rage, I felt guilty for the entire month afterward. I felt terrible despite… well, everything he had done.

All my life, I was conditioned to accept everything my father did to me—his yelling, his punishments, his commands. I’d get angry, and then feel guilty when he called me “son,” or when he proudly placed a hand on my shoulder. I loved my father. I never thought of defending myself like those children did. I never believed I should.

Sometimes he’d lock me in my room for days. I was fed, but couldn’t receive tutors or open the door to Morgana. The servants would leave food at the door, and I had to stay inside. I got used to it, honestly. I never saw it as abuse. But everyone was horrified when the youngest son said the count had done that to him. Apparently, there are forms of abuse other than physical violence.

The second and third sons spoke of the “tortures” they had suffered at their father’s hands, and again, I was confused. To me, it was clear the count just wanted the best for his sons. It wasn’t torture—it was training, so they’d grow into strong, disciplined men!

The only daughter cried as she told us about the cruel dances she was forced to learn—dances I myself was taught from a young age. She spoke of broken bones. I didn’t understand why that was a problem. I broke many bones in my childhood, but it was for my own good. My father only wanted the best for me. After all, what kind of king would I be if I couldn’t impress people from every corner of the world? If I couldn’t be flexible or graceful in a fight? If I didn’t have light, elegant steps?

The three older sons also spoke about the yelling, the insults toward them and their mother, the humiliation they endured. I know it may sound cruel at the time, but I was raised that way too!

I didn’t see a problem with anything they were saying. The count seemed like a good father to me—at least more present than mine. From what I understood, the count personally taught all his children—that’s impressive, considering my father only started spending real time with me when I was old enough to hunt!

So I was lost. I had no idea how to proceed. Should I punish them? Strip them of all they had and condemn eight lives to poverty? Or walk away and pretend it never happened?

I didn’t know what to do. But you did. You came to me while the knights tried to calm the family, pulled me aside, and talked to me. You said my hands gave me away—apparently I have a habit of fiddling with my ring when I’m nervous.

You explained the abuse those children suffered. The humiliation and disrespect their mother endured. You said the count wasn’t a good man.

You told me real love doesn’t hurt. That the count didn’t love his children—he was cruel, and he wanted to be cruel. He used “punishment” and “discipline” as excuses to hurt them.

I tried to argue that the law still demanded punishment for the act of patricide. All you did was place your hand on my shoulder and look me in the eyes.

“Then it’s time the law changes.”

And I agreed. You always sound wise when it matters. I take your advice seriously. I may never have made that clear, Merlin, but I’m grateful to have had you guiding me. I wouldn’t be a good king without you—so thank you.

Anyway, I ordered Elyan and Gwaine to remove the count’s body from the house. I told them to take it far away and burn it. I ordered Leon to return to the castle and bring the family’s contract back to me.

The eldest son was only 16. You convinced me to let him live a little longer without the burden of becoming a count, so I named their mother the Countess. She would now be responsible for the family and represent the village at council meetings.

We returned home, and you smiled the whole way back—that ridiculous, foolish smile you always wear when I do something right. I’ve never had anyone look at me like that—with so much pride.

And now, writing this letter, I dare say you looked quite in love. Idiot. You’re not hiding it from anyone, honestly.

Anyway, I’ve said too much already—but it’s because my request in this letter will be a bit more difficult than the others.

Merlin, my foolish but wise friend: Change the laws for the better.

No, I’m not asking you to steal anyone’s crown, or to stage some political coup.

All I want is for you to do with other kings what you did with me today. Grab these ignorant fools by the ear and explain to them the need for better laws. Show them that not everything is black and white—that not every murder is committed by a murderer. Sometimes it’s just an abused child trying to protect their family. Sometimes it’s a tired mother doing her best. Sometimes, the victim doesn’t even know they’re a victim.

Things need to change. This request won’t be fulfilled in a year, I’m sorry. Real change takes years of effort. I know I’m asking a lot—but it would break my heart to know that my kingdom was lucky enough to have you guiding its king, while others are doomed to suffer under ignorant rulers.

Well, I’ve written too much today. I’m tired. You went out to fetch our dinner and should be back soon. Tomorrow we have a meeting with the council to decide whether or not the law will be passed. Fortunately, I know most of the votes will be in my favor—but that doesn’t mean it won’t be exhausting, so I’ll stop here.

Thank you for today. You made me realize a lot about my father. Nothing good, unfortunately, but still—something.

Gwen just arrived. Seems like the three of us will have dinner together. It’ll be a good night.

Your king,

Arthur Pendragon

P.S.: You and Gwen drank all my wine and fell asleep in my bed. I had to sleep in hers. Honestly, you two... I’m happy when I see you together. When you read this letter, drink wine with my queen again, and talk to her about the laws. (With all my heart, I truly hope you two are still together.)

To Merlin

[sneakyboymerlin]

People often quote Merlin’s “Without you, Arthur, Camelot is nothing,” line in 5x13 to claim that Merlin no longer values the greater good, only Arthur. In context, however, this is an obvious callback to the first episode of the same season, written by the same author.

What Merlin is saying is that if Arthur dies, everything will collapse. There will be no Golden Age. It is well-established at this point that the prophecy of the Golden Age has shaped Merlin into who he is, has shaped every decision he makes, his very beliefs. His belief in Arthur’s goodness is his belief in this prophecy. They are not mutually exclusive, nor are they contradictory. If Arthur is indeed the man that he has shown Merlin he wants to be, then he will fulfill the prophecy by bringing peace to Albion and return magic to the land.

If Arthur dies before this can be accomplished, then that dream of a Golden Age is gone. Camelot will diminish until it dies out for good, the kingdoms will never be at peace, the wars (particularly the one against magic) will wage on. Merlin says no more and no less here.

This is why he makes the decision that he makes with the Disir. The goal to save magic peoples and end the wars is not sustainable without Arthur’s influence, not if the prophecies are to be believed — and many came true before Merlin’s eyes. Arthur can say yes to the Disir now, saving Mordred and forcing his own reluctant, disbelieving hand to “welcome” the Old Religion in Camelot (given Arthur’s ignorance towards/bias against magic, this return would likely be conditional and overrun with double standards and could be taken away at the drop of a hat; an unstable, short-term solution is no future at all). But if Mordred is allowed to kill Arthur, then it will not have the desired effect. The Golden Age would not come to pass. “Arthur, without you […] everything will be gone.”

Again, this is Merlin’s understanding of the situation. It is ultimately Guinevere who frees magic when Arthur is killed by Mordred, and Camelot does seem to enter a (temporary) Golden Age in the aftermath of the war (though all Ages are temporary — Gwen probably got them a good few hundred years of peace). But Merlin has only seen so much of the future. He cannot risk thousands of lives, he cannot risk the only chance of a future for his magical kin that he knows of, on the belief that Mordred will not kill Arthur or that the prophecies will be fulfilled some other way. Thousands of lives, on Merlin’s shoulders.

To minimize Merlin’s approach as thinking only of Arthur, when he has the weight of thousands of lives on his shoulders, an unimaginable burden for a man with almost no support system who was thrown into the mess in his late teens… Fandom often forces a notion of mutual exclusion onto Merlin, wherein the conversation on Merlin’s approach is narrowed into a false dichotomy of “freeing magic or saving Arthur,” when Merlin fully believes that the former depends on the latter.

It’s easy to misconstrue this, as from our perspective it seems counterintuitive to save magic through the man who presently bans it. And it is. But Merlin has heard and read prophecies, has seen visions of the future, has overall been led to believe that this is the only path to freedom and peace for his people — for everyone across Albion. This needs to be taken into account for any accurate analysis of Merlin’s actions and beliefs to take place.

[muzaktomyears]

In 1980 Peter Brown, a former assistant to Brian Epstein who later ran Apple Corps, managed the Beatles and was best man at John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s wedding, started work on the definitive account of the Beatles. With the American author Steven Gaines, he spoke to the three surviving band members alongside wives, girlfriends, managers, friends, hangers-on and everyone else in the Fabs’ universe. The book promised to be the last word in Beatles history. Then in 1983 The Love You Make was published, and all hell broke loose.

“They were furious,” recalls Gaines, 78, still sounding pained at the memory. “Paul and Linda tore the book apart and burned it in the fireplace, page by page. There was an omerta, a code of silence around the Beatles, and they didn’t think anyone would come forward to tell the truth. But Queenie, Brian Epstein’s mother, told us above all else to be honest.”

“Even she didn’t think we would be quite so honest,” adds Brown, 87, his upper-crust English tones still in place after five decades in New York.

Why did The Love You Make, retitled by Beatles fans as The Muck You Rake, incite such strong feelings? The suggestion of an affair between Lennon and Epstein on a holiday to Barcelona in April 1963, only three weeks after the birth of Lennon’s son Julian, had something to do with it, but more significantly it was taken as a betrayal by a trusted insider. Brown and Gaines locked the recordings in a bank vault and never looked at them again — until now.

“Very good question,” Brown says, when I ask why he and Gaines have decided to publish All You Need Is Love, an oral history made up of the interview transcripts from which The Love You Make was drawn. He is speaking from the Manhattan apartment on Central Park West where he has lived since 1971. “When [Peter Jackson’s documentary] Get Back came out, a journalist from The New York Times wanted me to talk. I told him I hadn’t talked about the Beatles since the book was published and suggested he go to someone else. He said, ‘There isn’t anyone else. Paul, Ringo and you are the only ones left.’ And I thought, do I have a responsibility to clear it all up, once and for all?”

After the death of Epstein in 1967, Brown assumed the day-to-day responsibilities of managing the Beatles and Apple Corps. He had on his desk a red telephone whose number was known only to the four Beatles. Unsurprisingly, given his insider status, the interviews make for fascinating reading. Paul McCartney, yet to be asked the same questions about the Beatles thousands of times over, is remarkably unguarded. Asked by Gaines if the other Beatles were anti-Linda, he replies: “I should think so. Like we were anti-Yoko.” On the image the Fabs had for being good boys on tour, he says, “You are kidding,” before going on to reference a notorious incident involving members of Led Zeppelin, a groupie and a mud shark, concluding: “No, not in the least bit celibate. We just didn’t do it with fish.”

Ono, speaking in the spring of 1981, not long after Lennon was killed in December 1980, reveals that she didn’t sleep with Lennon for the first two years of their relationship — “John didn’t know how to make a move” — and claims that she was blamed by the Beatles camp, George Harrison in particular, for getting Lennon onto heroin in 1969. “Everything we did in those days, anything that was wrong, was my responsibility,” she tells Gaines. But everyone, from the Beatles’ notorious late-period manager Allen Klein to the Greek electronics wizard/hustler “Magic” Alex Mardas — “the Mordred of the Beatles’ Camelot” according to Brown — has their own version of events.

Going through the transcripts reminded Gaines of the long shadow cast by Lennon. “I didn’t realise how sensitive the other Beatles were to John’s opinion,” he says, speaking from his home in the Hamptons, Long Island. “Paul worried about what John would say [in the event Lennon died before being interviewed] and was still longing for his friendship. George said that John didn’t read his autobiography because it was called I, Me, Mine. Those interviews were done before John’s death and Paul’s heart was broken, even then. It wasn’t just the break-up of the Beatles. It was more personal than that.”

From around 1968, the transcripts reveal how the key Beatles duo started to come apart. McCartney’s enthusiasm was only getting stronger. But Lennon grew increasingly bored and disillusioned. “You have to remember that John wasn’t in love with his wife Cynthia,” Gaines says by way of explanation. “He wanted to get away from the life he was leading and that’s why he started to experiment with drugs, all the way up to heroin.”

Brown says Ono was, and probably still is, a distant, mysterious character, exactly the kind of person Lennon was looking for, having done the right thing and married the sensible, quiet Cynthia after she discovered she was pregnant with Julian in 1963. “John told me about meeting this woman, and how frustrated he was that he couldn’t get to know her better; he couldn’t take her to lunch because it would cause gossip. I gave him the key to my apartment so he and Yoko could be together in private and thought, naturally, they were going there to f***. When I went home that evening, the apartment was untouched. They did nothing more than sit on the sofa and talk. That’s what they wanted: to know each other.”

Regarding the long-held, unfair suggestion that Ono broke up the Beatles, Gaines says: “Yoko came along at the right moment to light the fuse, but the dynamite was already packed. They resented her, she was difficult to understand and had a deep effect on John, but they were getting more and more unhappy with each other and needed to have their own lives. As people in the interviews say again and again, [the split] was bound to happen.”

It was Brown who in May 1968 introduced McCartney to Linda Eastman, an ambitious young American photographer whom he knew from his business trips to New York, when she came to London on an assignment to shoot the Rolling Stones. “I was having dinner with Paul at the Bag O’ Nails [a club in Soho] when she turned up, so I introduced them and he was obviously taken with her,” Brown recalls. “The following Friday, May 19, we were holding a party for 12 top photographers at Brian Epstein’s house in London when she walked in. Paul says I didn’t introduce him to his wife … but I did.”

If the book has a villain it is Klein, the New York accountant who took over management of the Beatles and sacked everyone around them, much to McCartney’s horror. As Brown puts it: “He was a hideous person. He even looked like a crook: sloppy and fat, always wearing sneakers and sweatshirts. Everything he didn’t like was ‘for shit’.”

You wonder why Lennon fell for him. “The interviews suggest it is because Allen Klein offered Yoko a million dollars for her movie project,” Gaines says. “She was enticed and John would do anything Yoko said.”

“I asked Mick Jagger to come over and explain to the four Beatles who this Allen Klein was,” Brown remembers. “And John, in his wonderful way, had Klein turn up to the same meeting, which was deeply embarrassing. It made Mick very uncomfortable too.”

Epstein, the man who saw the Beatles’ potential in the first place, is a central figure in All You Need Is Love. It includes a transcript of a recording of him from 1966, not used for the original book. It was in the possession of Epstein’s attorney Nat Weiss, and seemingly made by Epstein to mark the end of the Beatles’ final tour. He claims not only that Lennon felt remorse for the infamous comment on the Beatles being bigger than Jesus — “What upset John more than anything else was that hundreds of people were hurt by that” — but that the Beatles would tour once more. “There’s no reason why they shouldn’t appear in public again,” Epstein claims. They never did, unless you count that rooftop performance on January 30, 1969.

“Brian was driving them around the north of England in his car for a year,” Brown remembers of the early days. “This Jewish guy from Liverpool, who was gay, was with these guys who had been hanging around in Hamburg, so both had interesting backgrounds. They understood each other.”

For Gaines, a self-described “gay Jewish boy from Brooklyn”, Epstein is at the heart of the story. “Brian never felt the love of a real relationship. Then he found the Beatles. Everyone thought it would be just another of his phases, but he had tremendous feelings for John, both sexual and intellectual, and that’s what really pushed him. If there was one thing that started the whole thing off, it was Brian’s love for John Lennon.”

That love affair was the contentious issue of the original book. In his interview, McCartney says of Lennon going to Spain with Epstein: “What was John doing, manipulating this manager of ours? Sucking up to him, going on holiday, becoming his special friend.” It wasn’t the suggestion of a homosexual relationship that was troubling McCartney, but the balance of power tilting in Lennon’s direction.

“Paul wanted to be in charge, and he deserved to be because he was the motor, the driving force,” Gaines says. “Paul felt that John would steal away the power. He felt threatened by John’s relationship with Brian.”

“Paul always wanted to be active,” Brown adds. “After Brian’s death the world had to be carried on. Who was going to do that? It wasn’t going to be John, George or Ringo. Brian was my best friend and I was very upset [at his death]. I had to go to the court to convince the magistrate that it wasn’t a suicide, and the following day Paul set up a meeting so we could discuss what we would do next. I said we’d do it next week, and he said, ‘No, it has to be now.’ He was right.”

How did Brown and Gaines feel about the horrified reaction to the book, not just from fans but the Beatles themselves? “The world has changed,” Gaines says, by way of answer. “Now, after all these years, hopefully people can see it as a truthful, loving and gentle book.” It has been decades since Brown spoke to the surviving Beatles and he has not contacted them about this new publication.

What the interviews really capture in eye-opening detail is the story of four young men who became a phenomenon, then had to deal with the fallout as the dream ended. On December 31, 1970, the day McCartney sued the other three to dissolve the partnership, Brown handed in his resignation as the Beatles’ day-to-day manager and officer of Apple Corps. Ringo Starr said to him: “You didn’t want to be a nursemaid any more, and half the time the babies wouldn’t listen to you anyway.” Brown moved to New York and became chief executive officer of the Robert Stigwood Organisation. But the Beatles never fully left him, and in the wake of Get Back — and the news that Sam Mendes is to direct four biopics, one on each Beatle — he decided he had one last job.

“We have finished our responsibilities,” Brown says with quiet authority. “It is the end of the story.”

EXTRACTS

‘It’s like bloody Julius Caesar, and I’m being stabbed in the back!’

Paul McCartney on the Beatles signing Allen Klein as manager against his wishes

[John Lennon] said, “I’m going with [Allen] Klein, what do you want to do about it?” and I kind of said, “I don’t think I will, that’s my roll.” Then George and Ringo said, “Yeah, we’ll go with John.” Which was their roll. But that was pretty much how it always ended up, the three of them wanted to do stuff, and I was always the fly in the ointment, I was always the one dragging his heels. John used to accuse me of stalling. In fact, there was one classic little meeting when we were recording Abbey Road. It was a Friday evening session, and I was sitting there, and I’d heard a rumour from Neil [Aspinall, road manager] or someone that there was something funny going around. So we got to the session, and Klein came in. To me, he was like a sort of demon that would always haunt my dreams. He got to me. Really, it was like I’d been dreaming of him as a dentist. Anyway, so at this meeting, everyone said, “You’re going to stall for ever now, we know you, you don’t even want to do it on Monday.” And I said, “Well, so what? It’s not a big deal, it’s our prerogative and it could wait a few more days.” They said, “Oh no, typical of you, all that stalling and what. Got to do it now.” I said, “Well, I’m not going to. I demand at least the weekend. I’ll look at it, and on Monday. This is supposed to be a recording session, after all.” I dug me heels in, and they said, “Right, well, we’re going to vote it.” I said, “No, you’ll never get Ringo to.” I looked at Ringo, and he kind of gave me this sick look like, yeah, I’m going with them. Then I said, “Well, this is like bloody Julius Caesar, and I’m being stabbed in the back!”

‘You don’t like to see a chick in the middle of the team’

Paul McCartney on Yoko Ono

Give Yoko a lot . . . that was basically what John and Yoko wanted, recognition for Yoko. We found her sitting on our amps, and like a football team, an all-male thing, you really don’t like to see a chick in the middle of the team. It’s a disturbing thing, they think it throws them off the game or whatever it was, and these were the reasons that I thought, well, this is crazy, we’re gonna have Yoko in the group next. Looking at it now, I feel a bit sorry for her because, if only I had been able to understand what the situation was and think, wait a minute, here’s a girl who’s not had enough attention. I can now not make this into a major crisis and just sort of say, “Sure, what harm is she doing on the amps?” I know they would have really loved me. You know, we didn’t like Yoko at first, and people did call her ugly and stuff, and that must be hard for someone who loves someone and is so passionately in love with them, but I still can’t — I’m still trying to see his point of view. What was the point of all that? They’re very suspicious people [Lennon and Ono], and one of the things that hurt me out of the whole affair, was that we’d come all that way together, and out of either a fault in my character, or out of lack of understanding in their character, I’d still never managed to impress upon them that I wasn’t trying to screw them. I don’t think that I have to this day.

How Cynthia Lennon was driven to drink — at an ashram

Alexis ‘Magic Alex’ Mardas on Ono’s love letters to Lennon

Alexis Mardas was also known as Magic Alex, a name John bestowed on him because he was so taken with Alex’s inventions. Alex was handsome, charming, and a charlatan. (He sued The [New York] Times in Britain for calling him a charlatan and settled out of court. He’s dead now.)

[The Maharishi] was fooling around with several American girls. The Maharishi was making all of us eat vegetarian food, very poorly cooked, but he was eating chicken. No alcohol was allowed in the camp. I had to smuggle alcohol in because Cynthia wanted to drink. Cynthia was very depressed. John was receiving letters from Yoko Ono. Yoko was planning to win John. She was writing very poetic and very romantic letters. I remember those letters because John was coming to me with the letters, and Yoko was saying to John that “I’m a cloud in the sky, and, when you read this letter, turn your head and look in the sky, and if you see a small cloud, this is Yoko. Away from you but watching you.” Poor Cynthia was prepared to do absolutely everything to win John. She was not even allowed to visit the house where John was staying. She was longing for a drink. Now, drinks, they were strictly prohibited in the ashram, but when it was discovered that Maharishi had a drink, I said, “Just a second, at least equal.”

‘He’s become so nasty’

George Harrison on reaching out to John Lennon

What’s wrong with John, he’s become so nasty. It sounds like he hasn’t moved an inch from where he was five or six years ago. I sent Ringo, John, and Paul all a copy of my book. I got a call from Paul. He called me up just to say how much he liked it. I shouldn’t have called it I Me Mine, because that title was a bit much. I sent a copy to John. I’m wondering if he’s actually received it, if he’s received it, he probably doesn’t like it or something offends him about it.

‘I told John that ... it was just a nice feeling’

Yoko Ono advising John Lennon how to take heroin

George said I put John on H, and it wasn’t true at all. I mean, John wouldn’t take anything unless he wanted to do it. When I went to Paris [before I met John], I just had a sniff of it and it was a beautiful feeling. Because the amount was small, I didn’t even get sick. It was just a nice feeling. So I told John that. When you take it properly — properly is not the right word — but when you really snort it, then you get sick right away if you’re not used to it. So I think maybe because I said it wasn’t a bad experience, maybe that had something to do with it, I don’t know. But I mean so, he kept saying, “Tell me how it was?” Why was he asking? That was sort of a preliminary because he wanted to take it, that’s why he was asking. And that’s how we did it. We never injected. Never.

‘It was time’

Ringo Starr on the end of the Beatles

Ringo Starr: Well, I’m pleased it happened because in so many ways, I’m glad it’s not going now. It was time. Things last only so long. Steven Gaines: The Rolling Stones are [still] going. Ringo Starr: Yeah, but they’re old men.

(source)

[rrat-king]

Fantasy High Fandom Gothic

fabian is dating riz. actually he is dating ragh. fabian is gay and masculinity is dead. actually he is bi and dating adaine, but also riz, they are poly now. he’s dating gorgug. him and the sexy rat have a thing on the side. who is aelwyn. who is mazey.

found family is the name of the game. who will adaine be adopted by next? how many dads can fig accumulate? fabian moves into mordred. the applebees siblings move into mordred. all of the rat grinders have been redeemed and move into mordred. except for kipperlilly. or especially kipperlilly. the fandom is in a civil war over the inherent nature of kipperlilly copperkettle.

gorgug is 14. gorgug is 18. it's always the first day of school. or the summer before junior year. or senior year. the bad kids will perpeutally be in highschool. gorgug is stuck in a time loop and will be 16 forever. adaine is also in the time loop. it's baron's fault. it's kalina's fault. she's been here the whole time.

everyone is trans. in what way? everyway. fig is transfemme except when he's transmasc. fabian is a magical girl. kristen lost her gender several deaths ago. riz has a secret goblin gender that no one can get to. he's also transmasc.

adaine is a werewolf. fabian is a vampire. riz is an angel. who is tracker o'shaughnessey?

the bad kids are vigilantes. they are planning a heist. they are at summer camp. they are at school but different. they are in a band. they are in school but differnt and also in a band. they are pirates. they play hockey. kalina is also there.

the house is divided between the masses and the rat grumblrs. the rat grundlers. the ring gingers. rungle.

there is no canon. everything is canon. legends fortell of the game master uttering prophetic words in campaigns adjacent to our own that riz is ace. the artist we all know and love for her canon masterpeices is said to have drawn coded rings. the top pairing on ao3 is fabriz. the fandom is in tatters.

[ifmagicexists]

i'm sure it's been said somewhere before but thinking very hard about "no man, however great, can know his destiny. like everyone he must live and learn, and so it must be for the young warlock.." like. the very first line of the entire series. explicitly said by kilgarrah to apply to merlin as well. and yet kilgarrah tried otherwise. he told merlin up front what his destiny was and tried to push him away from living through the bad things whenever possible.

and it feels like kilgarrah reflecting on everything after the fact because he thought he could change it!! he thought maybe by telling him the good stuff it could be happy this time. maybe merlin could become the greatest warlock and help arthur become a great leader and fulfil all of those prophecies and make all those great things happen but also he could kill mordred and destroy morgana and erase all his enemies and still be that great person.

except he couldn't, of course. and by telling him and trying to control the narrative kilgarrah sealed his fate; destiny doesn't allow for choices. it just doesn't work like that, and they all learned, and kilgarrah lived and learned and is left simply with that lesson: that no one can know their destiny.

[kyoodledoodle]

people talk about kristen getting to finally have a childhood as a teenager but . do you ever think about that with adaine . do you think about how she didn’t get to have a sister or parents growing up who were really there for her and now she has So many parents and siblings…. and maybe she doesn’t think she deserves it. or know how to reciprocate things in that nature. do you ever think about that

- @transgenderfabianseacaster

WAAAUGHHHHH I THINM ABOUT IT SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN MNOWWWWW

FUCKIN LOVE ADAINE SO MUCH

I think the mordred crew doesn’t often eat dinner at the table together bc there’s so many of them, but when they do, Adaine is so rocked by how calm and fun everything is

and she drops her fork or something and immediately her chest tightens; but then Sandralynn right away gets up and gets her a new one . Someone recites the five second rule- someone else calls that person gross for eating off the ground- everyone’s laughing and it’s so nonchalant and gentle and Adaine feels like crying

[spectator-moon]

More Bad Kids Headcanons!

These are gonna be wholesome/little info things

Kristen sleepwalks now. She doesn't know why. It's not stress, she just gets up and wanders around. Usually, she finds herself in Adaine's room, arms moving through the motions of Warding Bond despite not being awake to cast it. Often, Adaine will quietly lead her back to her room, but sometimes Kristen will not leave, and Adaine will allow Kristen to flop on her like a cat. Occasionally, Kristen will wake up in Tracker's room, tears that she did not know were falling tracing tracks down her cheeks.

Adaine made a spell to remind everyone to take their meds. She infused it into Mordred Manor, and once again into Gorgug's axe and Fabian's eyepatch. Riz asked her to not do it for him because he has a very ingrained routine and it would throw that off. Adaine has set this spell to be triggered when it detects a certain time or event taking place. For her, it's every morning. Fig takes her ADHD meds after breakfast. Alewyn takes her antidepressants right before she leaves their room. Kristen uses her daily inhaler as soon as she wakes up. Gorgug typically takes his before he leaves the house, and Fabian has his right before he brushes his teeth. Adaine keeps track of all of this in her spellbook.

Gorgug has the most ~crackly~ bones you will ever hear. When he does warm-up stretches he sounds like bubble wrap. The loudest cracking always comes from his neck, because he's always slouching since he's so tall. Mostly, this grosses out everybody. Except Fig, who is also crackly from years of ballet and gymnastics. They often have friendly contests to see who can crack louder. Ayda judges, because she isn't bothered by it either.

Fig runs much warmer than any other Bad Kid. She is always the person who gets 'dibsed' to sleep next to for sleepovers, and during winter she becomes the most likely person to have someone hanging off of her. Ayda and her run at about the same temperature, and if they combine their magic they can actually effectively cause harm with their combined body heat. Fig secretly loves the hugs and snuggling and closeness that her warmth grants her, because it used to be the thing that drove people away (I headcanon that Fig lost all her friends when her horns sprouted).

Fabian has everybody's skin care routine memorized. He knows their go-to drink or comfort food like he knows his own hands, and when they run out of product, or they have a bad day, he'd the first one the door. He may play it cool ("I can't stand when you stress like that, here, take this hot cocoa and stop it." For Riz), but he never goes too far if it's clear that somebody is having an awful day ("hey, I got this plate of pancakes. Do you want to talk?" For Adaine).

Riz, in his neverending quest to know literally everything, has somehow found every spot that Augefort has tried to hide. He has reformed them as '(un)Official Bad Kids Zones' and made them the perfect spot to chill. If at any point, in any place in town, the Bad Kids are getting chased, or they just want to relax, Riz zips behind that one statue of Sol, or this painting from a local artist, and reveals a new place to chill.

This has been my headcanons. I hope you enjoyed! Leave your own in the replies!

[grantihare]

our cat broke his hip on christmas

hi, your local guy-with-a-blog is here to dox himself so his cat can walk again!

i made posts earlier as this was happening, but now that i've heard back from enough vets to get an idea of how steep this is going to be, i can't not ask for help.

its cheesy to say, but my cats are my everything. mordred, especially, spends his days basically glued to my side. he's my little shadow, and i don't know where i'd be without him.

when he woke me up to feed him at 6am on christmas morning, he was completely fine. i went back to sleep after, and when i woke up for real at 8, he was limp on the ground. when we went to move him, he howled and thrashed like we were torturing him. he ran, and we saw he wasn't using his right back leg.

many tears and an anxiety riddled 4 hour wait for our emergency vet appointment later, we were told he had a right capital physeal fracture, which basically means he snapped the ball bit of the ball joint in his hip. the vet said the best option for him is a femoral head and neck ostectomy (FHO), which'll take the broke bit of his bone out and the scar tissue will sort of just grow in the right way to replace his missing joint (cats are so weird)

its the cheapest option, and its the one with the best success rate, which is super lucky. unfortunately, its still expensive as fuck.

weve been quoted anywhere between 3.5k and 8k by vets i've contacted so far, and most need at least half as a downpayment before they'll operate. it'd take us years to cover the full cost by ourselves. so we've got to break out the big guns - a full gofundme, which will be shared with basically everyone we know, and hopefully far past that as well. carecredit can only cover so much for us, and our immediate family can't afford to lend us much. the internet is our only hope for meeting the full cost and getting mordred better

mordred's the light of my life and i can't stand to see him in pain like this. anything helps. if youre not in a financial state where you can donate, spreading the word is just as important and just as deeply appreciated.

thank you so much for getting this far.

our gofundme is here

[stevesnightmares]

I don't understand how some people can watch BBC Merlin and, when they are done, complain that it didn't make sense because Merlin didn't fulfil the prophecy. You are the one who doesn't understand the story that is being told. This is not like in Percy Jackson, where we get prophecies and, by the end, we see them come true, even if in unexpected ways. Merlin created his own path with every choice that he made, with every action he took. He could've fulfilled his destiny, he could've saved Arthur and brought on the golden age of Albion, but by making certain choices he wasn't able to fulfil that destiny. He had the ability to do so, but didn't.

In season 1 episode 8, "The Beginning of the End" we are immediately told that Merlin will not fulfill his destiny, he will not protect Arthur and see him bring about the golden age of Albion.

KILGHARRAH If the boy lives, you cannot fulfil your destiny. MERLIN What's he got to do with my destiny? You said it's my destiny to protect Arthur. KILGHARRAH Then you have the answer you seek. MERLIN You're telling me that little boy is going to kill Arthur? KILGHARRAH It seems that is up to you. MERLIN No. You can't know that for certain. KILGHARRAH You have it in your power to prevent a great evil. MERLIN There must be another way! The future isn't set in stone! KILGHARRAH You must let the boy die.

By saving Mordred, Merlin sealed Arthur's fate and signed his death. He made a choice and that choice had its consequences.

Another clear example of Merlin's choices affecting, well, everything, is in season 2 episode 8, "Sins of the Father".

Merlin's goal is to make Arthur see that magic isn't all bad, to make the genocide of magic wielders stop, to bring magic back to Camelot so that he and every other magic person can live freely as themselves.

When meeting with Morgouse, Arthur begins to go towards the right path.

ARTHUR What if my father's attitude to magic is wrong? MERLIN You really think that?

ARTHUR Perhaps it's not as simple as he would have us believe. Morgause is a sorcerer, she has caused us no harm. Surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil.

He's starting to see that maybe not everyone who uses magic uses it for evil, that magic users can be good.

ARTHUR You speak of hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?

He's also seeing that Uther hates magic because of personal reasons and not because all magic is really bad.

This was the perfect opportunity, the perfect opening to bring Arthur on the right side. But what does Merlin do?

MERLIN Morgause is lying! She's an enchantress. She tricked you. That was not your mother you saw. That was an illusion. Everything...everything your mother said to you...those were Morgause's words. This has been her plan all along! To turn you against your father. And if you kill him, the kingdom will be destroyed! This is what she wants!

He tells Arthur that it's all a lie and that the sorcerer is evil, that once again those who use magic only want to see Camelot fall.

ARTHUR I am indebted to you, Merlin. I had become...confused. It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.

He solidified Arthur's belief that magic is evil and bad.

My point isn't to decide whether Merlin's choices were good or bad, right or wrong, we follow him, we see why he does what he does, how much he cares for Arthur and for others, we see his flaws and his shortcomings and we can't blame him for any of his choices because all of them, even the most misguided ones, were all done in good faith.

The point is that that's what the show is about: a young warlock in his quest to save Arthur and how his choices bring him to his failure. From season 1 he was doomed to fail because of his choices. At least that's how I see it. People were expecting to see Merlin fulfil the prophecy and some claim that he did, but imo the whole show is about how his choices doomed him and made him not fulfil his destiny.

UTHER You [Merlin] have proven yourself to be a trusted ally in the fight against magic.

[sugaldean]

Updated Bad Kids Polyamory post (probably not in junior year but later in life)

Every mentioned Rat Grinders is post therapy and counselling when they have time to rebound with their own selves

Fig is dating Ayda + relations with Gertie and Mary Ann + inconsequent one night stands with guys (all consensual now). She mostly spend time with Ayda, they live together etc but sometime she takes Gertie or Mary Ann on dates. Ayda is her half of the time and she really likes Mary Ann.

Gorgug is dating Mary Ann, Unit, Ragh, Fabian and Squeem. Those relationships vary in time, intensity and regularity and depend on the availability of everyone but he loves them all and they all love him

Adaine after a very very long time is casually dating Oisin, he got his life, she got hers but sometime their lives match and they get to hang out. It is very unclear if there's anything romantic in it. But it's nice and they like it. She also spends a lot of dates with Lucy for someone who is "not dating Lucy" but that's another thing.

Fabian is dating Mazey, Ragh and Gorgug, it's wonderful, he love it, gets plenty of kisses and they regularly prevent him for murdering his siblings

Kristen is dating Tracker (so far the broke up 7 times but it's so much better each time) and Gertie (this took a looong time), it's chaotic, it's loud but they are getting to the better versions of themselves + has a thing with Lucy? Maybe? Who knows

Riz isn't dating anyone. However he is almost all the time with Fabian, Ragh and Gorgug. He is here for some dates, for the hangouts and everything. So he is not dating them but he is not not dating them if it makes sense. He is here for the ride

Bonus: Ivy and Aelwyn finally got together. They heal together, they are mean together. It's great.

Bonus: Riz and Adaine are the ones who put up The Calendar, which is a organisation tool that everyone love but was primarily started so they stop running into people fucking at Fabian's house or Mordred Manor

I'm working on adding some of the seven in this cause you i just love big big polyamorous groups. Makes me feel safe

[mandoriana]

Leon: You seem very organized, Merlin. What do you do in advance?

Merlin *smiles*: I suffer.

Leon: What?!

Merlin: I suffer in advance like a pro! My mind is like a disaster announcement, it warns me of the bad stuff before it even starts. The problem hasn't even happened yet, and I'm already suffering!

Leon: 😰

Merlin: They say time heals everything, but my anxiety has already scheduled all the disasters for the next 10 years!

Leon: Merlin...

Merlin: Sometimes it feels like everyone is in the present and I'm the only one in the future! My mind is an encyclopedia of bad scenarios that haven't even happened yet.

Leon: Merlin...😰

Merlin: The problem hasn't even happened, and my mind is already like, "Hmm, what if Mordred tries to kill the king, huh?"

Leon: Why Mordred, what's your problem with the kid?

Merlin: It was just an example, but one I won't risk. I suffer in advance to save time later. I have disaster management working in my favor. This way, I suffer in advance and suffer less in the near future!

Leon: 😟

Merlin: You know, practicality is important! But the worst is when I suffer for something that doesn't even happen. I destroy myself so much in advance to avoid suffering that when things go right, I suffer for having suffered for nothing!

Leon: You need to relax, Merlin.

Merlin: Relax? I even tried yoga, but my mind doesn't stop! While everyone is in "Om," I'm in "Oh no!"