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popawritter12 · 2 months

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Hello.Can I apply if they are still open?Can I have a Raiden x reader please? I would like to see comfort or anxiety (?)She is an excellent informant, constantly living under the guise of other people. Her motives and behavior are constantly changing. Everyone finds her somewhat threatening because they can't figure out what's on her mind. Raiden knows her a little better and at one moment finds her completely broken, because living someone else's life, knowing everything about everyone, is difficult and destructive for the psyche.Sorry, I do not speak english well. I hope my request will be clear...Thanks in advance <3

Of course! I really needed an excuse to do a oneshot with this man HAHAHA (Sorry if it took too long :c)

Yandere! Raiden x Female reader

Yandere character: Raiden/Jack.

From the videogame/serie/book/movie/manga or anime: Metal Gear saga.

Case: Stalking, a little mention of illegal investigation, comfort and anxiety for the reader <3.

Warnings: Nao nao.

Part: 1 of 1

Finished: Yes.

(You never knew Raiden much, in fact, you only exchanged words with him a handful of times. It was the same with the rest of the team; you just do the most important thing, and then the rest doesn't matter.)

You had a somewhat complex job, the change in personality and appearance was almost as constant as drinking water. And lately, those “jobs” had appeared with more regularity. They were more than your mind could handle; especially with how seriously you took the job you had been assigned.

Especially with how difficult it was to deal with the people you encountered. As an informant, you had a hard time coping with your mental health due to overwork.

Although, you hated being so untalkative; There were very few people you genuinely talked to with confidence, and especially at work. And while you always sought to maintain a constant line of respect with everyone you met, you never felt a level of connection of genuine friendship with anyone.

Without many options, you tried not to overthink. Between all your mistakes in doing various jobs during the most recent week, along with recent arguments with your family led you to be tired, but not physically.

It had been a particularly complex day for you. In fact, this whole week was being especially difficult for you.

—How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?

—You know it's not that, I just think…

—This is the fourth time this week you've called me! —You gritted your teeth, trying to suppress how irritated you were—. You almost ruined my job today, the same thing happened yesterday and the day before yesterday, don't you understand how important this is to me?!

The woman on the other end of the phone sighed somewhat heavily.

—I feel like this job is slowly consuming you, I'm afraid you might be having a hard time because of this.

—But..! —Before you could deliberately let out any insults, you threw your back slightly back, hitting the fluffy pillow of the backrest, before remaining silent.

The chair moved smoothly due to your abrupt tilt. The smell of dust invades your senses as you tried to stay calm. The other person you were talking to was a close aunt of yours, she was like your second mother, and she called you often, so often that even your mother more than once threatened to take her cell phone away from her if she didn't let you in peace.

—Listen, dear —She began, a noise from the television playing on her side of the call —.I'm sorry to be so annoying, but I think it's been many months since we saw each other in person, and I'm worried that there's something wrong with you or someone trying to revent you from talking to me and your mother.

Even if you wanted to respond, you just listened to her.

—If you don't want to talk, that's fine, just call us from time to time, okay? —She continued, but she was called by a couple of knocks on her door—well, sweetheart, I have to go, I love you.

She cuts off your call before you could answer, leaving you silent, alone.

You removed your cell phone from your ear, placing the object on the table now. Your gaze remained fixed on the screen, thoughtful.

Doubt arose in your head; How long had it been?

Because you were so busy, the days flew by, as if what had happened 5 months ago had happened yesterday. Checking your calendar, you realized that it had indeed been a long time since you last saw your mother and aunt.

You looked at the images and information that you had hanging on the furniture in front of you, noticing that the amount of words and images that were located there was… excessive.

In fact, it had been a long time since you last hung out with someone you really trusted. Part of you thinks it's because you're so used to no one waiting for you. But, now you feel a gradual change about your past decisions.

Mom was waiting for you at home, longing for you to be safe, maybe thinking that someone is hurting you, or taking you away from her, or killing you.

You panted heavily, leaning down to touch the pad of your phone with the tip of your finger.

Mom is worried, and your aunt too.

Tell me, why the hell do you care more about a fucking job? Unlike the other people there, at least you had a family. Why were you working so many extra hours to investigate, to reinforce your performance? Was all this really about the money? Or was it because you like to rack your brains over topics that don't even concern you?

Your heart rate increases slightly, along with a slight feeling of weight on your chest. That same feeling that had haunted you so much that day.

They are worried about you, why do you ignore them? And your friends? Do they no longer exist for you?

Why the fuck are you still in that job after so many years and all the shit you had to see?

Physical torture, manipulation of all people with important information, death…, and many more things that you preferred not to remember.

So many people with whom you interacted and pretended that they were reliable friends, who for endless hours you dedicated yourself to listening to their problems or their deepest thoughts, so that in the end they end up dead.

And partly, his death was your fault. Tell me, how far are you willing to go? How far are you going to justify your complicity in the death of so many people?

Are a few dollars equivalent to the death of these people?

Your heartbeat increases, while small drops begin to fall from your cheeks. But you didn't sob at any point.

You could feel your hands shaking. You ran your palms over your face, gently covering your entire face. And you just sobbed softly, trying to vent all your thoughts clinging to your chest and stuck deep in your mind.

In short, there was no one but you in that small place you called “your research office.”

Then, a hand on your shoulder catches your attention.

—(Name)?

His voice sounded soft, unlike how it normally sounded. Quickly, your hands left your face, while your head along with your shoulders moved slightly to where you heard the voice.

—S-shit… —You gasped, before grabbing a used napkin to quickly wipe your cheeks and eyes, —…, I didn't know you were around.

Because of how quickly you went through the paper cloth, and because of the time that had passed since the last time you used it, your skin ended up scratched and somewhat bruised.

After that, you threw the paper into the trash can—although the trash can was overflowing with papers—and you pretended to arrange some papers of your desk.

—Why are you here..? —You hesitated, but before you expected it, he took the papers.

—Are you ok?

The question didn't take you so much by surprise, but it did take your sensitive heart, which longed for that human contact, even if it was only through words.

—Yes, why would I be…?

He grabs the back of the swivel chair, before moving it so you're facing him.

—You do not look well.

It was too obvious that you couldn't pretend to be bad right now, but you also didn't want to look this vulnerable to him.

—I just had a… family problem —You answered simply.

He didn't look entirely convinced, but he let go of the back of the chair, at least giving you some space.

—You've been very busy this week, are you sure you're okay? —He insisted, his gaze traveling a little over your face.

Small parts of your face, like your nose or the dark circles on your eyes, were slightly scratched. And your eyes were still with a tearful sheen along with a poorly hidden trace of the tears that had escaped from you.

Among all your classmates, you thought anyone could find you in a vulnerable situation like this, except him.

But in the end, you needed someone by your side so you could let go of all the thoughts you had inside of you.

—Actually… I feel like… it's been a long time.

He was confused, but didn't mention anything.

—My aunt called me, and she told me that she was worried about me… —You started your explanation —…, but she had already called me like twice or more during the week, so I… was a little angry.

Your voice cracked softly as you progressed in what you were telling him, while your heart rate increased again.

—I yelled at her and told her to stop interfering in my work, I thought that if I told her it was okay, then she wouldn't be worried —You continued, your hands shaking again —, but she just told me that… it had been a long time since the last time we saw each other in person.

Your hand went to cover half of your face, while the other stayed on the table, trying not to move it too much.

—Her voice sounded so soft that I remembered that… —The hand on your face clung to your skin, as if you were holding back your tears —…, it's been like 6 months since the last time I saw them.

He knew that you were bad, that you had a bad week, even how your aunt was bothering you with her calls, but still, he listened to you.

—And well; One thing led to another and I thought that… I was selfish, and that I can't treat a family member of mine like that, you know? —You looked at Raiden, but you just sighed, a little broken due to crying —, although it sounds silly… because both you and the other people here can't even go back to their homes or have a normal life and they're here… But me? I am crying because of this nonsense of mine.

The tears continued to come, as you slowly lost control of your words.

—Sometimes I just want to quit, all these thoughts about my job are too much some days, you know? —You gasp again with some difficulty—. Sometimes I think about everything I saw; You and other people have reached a point of almost no return, and I've seen so many things while pretending to be other people that I thought… Why am I still here? Why can't I stop all this and go back to my mother? Why can't I… go home?

you got up roughly from your seat, the chair going violently backwards, colliding with a giant blackboard.

—I think I'm just… talking stupid things now, I'm sorry, Raiden, —You apologized, exchanging glances with him again —. Sorry if I wasted your time…

One of his hands subtly went to your cheek, passing over one of your tears.

—It's not stupid —He whispers, the pad of his thumb making gentle movements over your skin, —, after all, I've been seeing you a little down for two days. And I don't think thinking about renounce is exactly something light.

Even if his understandable words took you by surprise, you felt the center of your chest warm up, slowly easing the weight.

—I'm sorry… I didn't think I worried you —You whisper, a slight smile on your face.

—Don't worry about it, —He whispered, almost as if he wanted to make sure you were calm.

You kept looking at him, almost as if you were lost in his eyes.

—You could ask for a day off after all this —He mentions, almost casually—, you don't have to make hasty decisions because of those things.

You came to your senses, before continuing to talk to him.

You never thought that someone like him could be so understanding of topics that are so… ordinary. But you were really grateful to find someone who can listen to you without judging you in such a way. He actually spoke to you like one friend to another, as if he knew exactly what to say so you could trust him and vent your thoughts to him.

After a while, you finally felt like that mental fatigue had abandoned you like a South American father abandoned his newborn child.

—Thank you, Raiden —You tell him, at the same time that you felt the edge of your lips curve into a smile—. I really needed to talk to someone.

It was the first time you saw him smile, which made you feel calmer.

—Can I give you a hug? —You ask him kindly, it was common that you didn't know how to interact normally with someone like him.

He only responded by walking closer to you, before gently wrapping his arms around you. He didn't use any force, in fact you just felt his arms collide with your body. He was so gentle that you just rested your head against his chest, both of your hands going to the top of his back.

Even with certain parts of him being cyborg, you felt warm in his embrace. There were no longer traces of sadness in your heart, only a feeling of security running through your soul.

When you both separated, you couldn't help but continue smiling at him. Although unfortunately, due to the hours they were in, he had to leave your office again.

And when you both said goodbye, you gave him another hug, a quicker one since you wanted to go to sleep early. And the moment he closed the door, you began to rearrange your desk a little.

And, while you were doing that, he, outside your office, just lit a cigarette, bringing it to his lips as he walked through the place towards the exit.

His mind was filled with new thoughts; Now that he had gained more of your trust, he could give himself the freedom to greet you or talk to you more normally, unlike before.

The only thing that calmed him down was that no one was coming near you. It wasn't because of him, in fact he was one of the few people who could approach you, without wanting to get away from you as quickly and subtly as possible, that made his job easier.

And, in fact, he is visibly…inclined to like (Name).

He smiled at the new idea he had, before taking another drag of the cigarette, knowing that he was getting closer to the person he loved so much.

Although he wished he could make sure your aunt doesn't bother you so much, it bothers him to hear her voice so many times during the week.

#yandere #obsessive love #yandere x you #yandere male #poppa thoughs #metal gear #metal gear rising #Raiden #Yandere raiden metal gear #metal gear rising x reader

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maximillien · 1 year

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Headcannons about what I think our trio would do with a reader on their period

(Because I'm on mine and I have ideas)

Cale Henituse:

- firstly, this man does not give a shit. You're on your period? Is he supposed to be embarrassed or something? It's completely natural and he won't shy away from talking about what you need and what he can do for you.

- so wether you're a shy person or not, or you don't like talking about it, he'll ask what you need

- I personally think he'd use his hand as a heat pack.

- cuz you know he has the fire of destruction, so he'd heat up his hand real quick and put it over your uterus to soothe cramps (if you've got them)

- again, no shame whatsoever

- he knows what a pad and tampon is, he had colleagues with periods in the past, so he'd probably give them leave or fetch some stuff for them if they stayed in the office

- however he doesn't really know how people in the time period you're both in would deal with it

- would probably ask his mother, Ron, or Rosalyn for advice

- would ask Beacrox to make some food you crave and bring it to you

- probably would call a doctor to figure out what type of medication is available (if you've got those cramps like i do ☹️)

- forces you to stay in bed, you are not getting up (this can be changed if you want to get up by saying you need exercise. He'll probably come with you but will soon usher you back in)

- will definitely use this time to take care of you/pamper you and also slack off (two birds with one stone)

- will read to you if you want

- can be persuaded into snuggling, honestly I think he runs a bit cooler than others but he's soft and a comfy snuggle buddy.

Alberu Crossman (my husband my love-)

- I love him so much my god

- anyways he knows what a period is, but not how to deal with it

- he's only had his aunt since he was a child, but I doubt that subject of discussion would come up, since he was yannow trying to survive in the palace.

- would probably be innerly flustered when the subject comes up between you two but would not show it on his face visibly, you can only see concern and interest

- again he's the no shame n2

- it's natural and it happens.

- if you bleed through the sheets, no worries, he'll take them off, call the maids to wash it and ask them to run a bath

- will carry you to the bath and bathe you if you want, or talk to you if you don't (or you know leave if you're uncomfortable and want to be alone)

- when you come out they'll be tea and snacks and a fresh pair of sheets

- and your beautiful, smiling husband in bed waiting for you with his arms opening up for a hug

- again, he's a quarter dark elf, man has magic, will also heat up his hand (look I like this hc because I need the heat packs)

- will absolutely snuggle and talk to you or let you sleep

- I hc he runs warm ( he wears heavy clothes as king so it'd make his body temp higher) so yes. He Is a walking heater.

- if it's in the day and he's busy, you'll have maids waiting on you

- and he'll try and check in as often as he can, or otherwise he'll have his work brought to the bedroom and stay with you whilst he works

- honestly, really luxurious treatment

Choi Han

- my man 😭 he's so pretty

-anyways big shy man

- knows what it is (though I think he forgot a lot of it, since it was not the first thing on his mind when stuck in the forest of darkness)

- would need a recap of how it works and what you need

- will definitely blush a LOT.

- he's not ashamed, he's just flustered because this is completely unknown territory to him, he's never dealt with this before

- will force you to stay in bed

- you are NOT getting up. If you do you'll face the beaten up puppy face and honestly that's enough to keep you

- the moment you make a sound of pain or discomfort he's ONTO you

- 'do you need anything? Want me to fluff your pillow? Get some tea? Fetchasnackwaitineedtocall-'

- he's rambling and all. Give him a quick kiss on the cheek he'll simmer down in his chair looking like a tomato

- will hold your hand a trace circles and shapes on it to distract you

- if you want silence he's more than happy to just sit with you

- the moment you need something he's gone to get it, and he's back in a flash

- really endearing tbh

- he's trying his best with his new knowledge

- can be persuaded into snuggles but will be a hot mess the whole time.

- if you're in pain though his embarrassment will disappear

- he's like this big pillow, so latch onto him

- if you need to go outside just to get out of the house he's fretting around you

- again, hold his hand and he'll quieten down and walk with you

- once you're back inside he'll tuck you in and ask if you need anything

#cale henituse x reader #alberu crossman x reader #choi han x reader #tcf x reader #trash of the count’s family #cale henituse #alberu crossman #choi han

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francesminos-tt · 8 months

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Prompt: Soulmate AU where your born with, or get, some kind of identifying marking(s). When you touch your soulmate, there is a bond. You are able to feel any strong emotions that your soulmate feels. If a person gets sick, feels pain or dies, the same thing happens to their soulmate. Joffrey and Daeron are soulmates, but that doesn't mean they love each other. They are forced to get married (and touch each other - the bond for some is a gift and for others it is a punishment- because the bond makes them desperate to touch their other half, Denial of touching your soulmate causes pain in both, for one year the linked souls cannot be separated by long distances, there is a discussion of doubtful consent because they both feel sexual desires and sex is more of an unhealthy necessity of the first year of soul bonding than real pleasure. Joffrey and Daeron try to deal with this in their lives. It's painful and distressing, everyone around them celebrates and celebrates, but they both feel unhappy. Joffrey hates knowing that all his life he will depend on Daeron - someone he doesn't know, someone he doesn't love - He hates the prison that bonding is. Daeron also feels like a prisoner, he doesn't understand how this is considered a blessing from the seven. Joffrey and Daeron constantly wonder how cruel the bond can be to those who don't love each other.

some scenes I thought you might write about them; -if you wish and I hope so-

1 - They are young boys between 19-14 years old, meaning they are sometimes stupid and immature. At some point they may have had a fight and forced themselves to stay away from each other more than is "acceptable" It's a fight to see who is the most stubborn and can stay away the longest, but it goes wrong because one of them faints (I thought of Joffrey) quickly they are placed on the bed next to each other and are forced to touch each other to calm the pain and we have a CRYING Joffrey because he really hates being so helpless about this.

2 - Or we can have a scene of how their nightly routine works, the embarrassment and the longing to touch someone you have no real feelings for. I can imagine Joffrey being unashamed of his nakedness (it's not like Daeron hasn't already seen every part of Joffrey's body)

3 - They've been married for a while and are slowly learning to love each other like Daeron accompanying Joffrey to the training camp silently and just admiring his husband

Of course, you can feel free to write whatever you want or change anything (like their age or how the bond works) I don't care, I just want to read these sad puppies who can't stay away from each other and maybe add sad sex if you want too lol

Joffrey’s mark was half of a dragon wing behind his ear, on the small patch of sensitive skin. His mother found it when she was washing his hair. At first Rhaenyra thought it was just a rash, maybe an irritation, but she soon realized she couldn’t be more wrong.

It was a soulmate mark. Her little boy was blessed with a soulmate, a rare gift given by gods. She burst into tears after the family doctor had confirmed that Joffrey was indeed blessed, that his mark would soon lead him to his soulmate.

He found his soulmate during the Christmas gathering. Joffrey had always been a healthy child, but somehow, he was struck by a nasty cold three times that winter. His throat was still sore when he arrived at Grandpa Viserys’s house. Rhaenyra told her boys to play with their uncles and aunt Helaena in the garden, except for Joffrey, who was still recovering from his cold. Joff, an energetic child, had to stay inside and play with toys that he didn’t even like.

“You are sitting on my comic book.” A boy’s voice came from above, making Joffrey drop the little robot in his hands.

“What?” Joffrey frowned at the blonde boy, who was about his big brother Jacaerys’s age.

“Get off the couch.” The boy shoved Joffrey, sending him to the carpeted floor.

Joffrey felt a shock of electricity running from where the boy touched him to the back of his head. Though the boy’s action was rude and rough, Joffrey was too shocked to care. The electricity had become a warmth, spreading through his body and miraculously making him feel better. Even his throat seemed to be less sore immediately.

The boy seemed to share Joffrey’s surprise. He had forgotten about the comic book, and was staring at Joffrey as if he had seen a ghost.

“What did you do to me?” The boy asked roughly and rubbed the hand that he touched Joffrey with, “You are hot like a boiling kettle.”

Joffrey wanted to ask the boy the same question, but he was only three, he wasn’t that eloquent yet. Before Joffrey could open his mouth, his brothers and their uncles and aunt rushed into the living room, all red faced and laughing.

“What game are you guys playing?” Aegon, the oldest of them all, raised an eyebrow at the bizarre picture in front him, “Why is Joffrey on the floor?”

It turned out that blonde boy was Joffrey’s youngest uncle Daeron. He had been in Old Town last year for Christmas, so Joffrey didn’t know him. He didn’t come out to the garden because of the reason as Joffrey; he was recovering from a cold.

Joffrey learned that his soulmate was Daeron Targaryen, his youngest uncle, a boy who shoved him to the floor at first sight.

Joffrey was three, and Daeron was six that year.

Joffrey and Daeron had been inseparable since the day their fated had been sealed. They went to the same school, lived in the same neighborhood (Joffrey had to throw a tantrum to prevent his mother from asking Daeron to live with them), and had to sleep in each other’s room every other day. At first, it was fine. Kind of funny, Joffrey would say. They would stay late in the night and read Daeron’s comic books, or play with the dragon toy Joffrey’s father got him.

But after the initial novelty had faded, Joffrey found himself trapped. He was only a little boy and he wanted to meet new people and make new friends. No one would come to him at parks because Daeron would always be there, older, taller and more handsome. He felt like a sailor stranded on an isolate island with Daeron. Forever.

The soul bond made it impossible from them to stay apart for more than a few days. The longest time they had stayed apart was that summer when Daeron went to scout camp while Joffrey stayed at home because he was still too young. Daeron had to be sent back five days later because he had been struck down by a bad fever. As soon as Joffrey touched him, Daeron’s labored breath calmed down immediately. Joffrey slept in the same bed with Daeron, and the next day, the blonde boy returned to his healthy self again. Everyone swooned at them. Aegon even wolf whistled at Joffrey the next time he came to visit. Everyone seemed to be happy, except for Daeron.

“You cost me my scout badge.” Daeron said to Joffrey angrily, “I hate you.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Joffrey pouted, a habit he had developed since he could talk.

“Don’t play cute on me. I hate you and your stupid mark.”

“You have your mark too,” Joffrey pointed to Daeron’s wrist, the other half of the dragon wing, “I never asked for this.”

“Well, neither did I. Wait until they decide to marry us. I will be stuck with you forever.”

“Marry?” Joffrey’s eyebrow raised in confusion, “But we are both boys! We can’t marry each other!”

“Then will your future wife be comfortable to have me in your house?” Daeron scoffed and walked away, leaving Joffrey alone in the living room to panic.

That was the day Joffrey learned that he was truly screwed.

“Hey, Joff, your boyfriend is here!” Joffrey’s teammate shouted from the locker room door.

Joffrey rolled his eyes. He had long given up trying to convince his teammates that Daeron was not his boyfriend.

Consider this whole soulmate thing as a medical condition. I just need to spend time with him to stay alive, you know? It’s not like I have feelings for him or anything.

Unfortunately, no one bought his story. Perhaps Joffrey was not very good at convincing people. The locker room burst out a string of laughter, and Joffrey had to punch the goalkeeper who was laughing the hardest. Joffrey took his time to shower, change, put on deodorant and brush his hair. His teammates always laughed at him for caring his appearance too much. Like a chick, they would say, but they had no idea why Joffrey tried to linger in the locker-room. This was the only place he could get away from Daeron.

No matter how hard Joffrey tried to drag the time, eventually he had to leave the locker-room and face his soulmate.

“What took you so long?” Daeron asked impatiently, arms crossed at his chest, “I’ve been standing here for like forever.”

“I told you, you don’t have to pick me up.” Joffrey flipped the duffle bag on his shoulder, “Don’t you have work to do in college?”

Daeron unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, exposing his neck and collar bone that was covered in red rashes.

“I need a recharge.” Daeron said simply, taking Joffrey’s hand, “Thank God it’s only the rashes now. I can’t afford to faint in front of everyone.”

They walked outside to the football field hand in hand. As the years passed, their ‘separation syndrome’ gradually changed as well. Now they would not faint or go into a seizure if they had been separated for too long. Daeron would have red rashes all over his body while Joffrey would suffer from extreme fatigue. They welcomed this change, for it could be easily explained as allergy or lack of sleep. They called their forced proximity recharge, a word suitable for their situation. Just a way to keep going, nothing to do with feelings.

“Looking pretty for your boyfriend, Velaryon?” A tall boy sneered at Joffrey as Joffrey and Daeron approached the field exit.

“Fuck off.” Joffrey said, rolling his eyes for hundredth time today, “I don’t have time for this.”

“Ohhh, pretty Joff doesn’t have time for us! He wants to shag his boyfriend!” the boy and his fellow idiot friends laughed among themselves.

Joffrey had been chosen as the main forward in his high school football team despite being a freshman. The boy and his gang had been picking on Joffrey ever since he scored his first goal. Joffrey had gotten so tired of the boy’s childish provocation.

“Come,” Joffrey nudged Daeron to walk on, “don’t mind them. They are idiots.”

“They called you a bad name, Joffrey.” Daeron frowned, throwing nasty glares at the gang.

“They called me worse,” Joffrey shrugged, apparently no intention to share the details, “They are not worth your time. Let them be. They will get bored and leave.”

Daeron, a 19-year-old who went to college on a fencing scholarship, disagreed.

“Leave him alone,” Daeron snarled at the boy, “I am not his boyfriend, but I don’t like others bullying my nephew.”

“Get lost, faggot.” The boy clearly didn't take this polite and handsome blonde seriously, “You are just as pathetic as little Joff here. What do you say, Velaryon? Admit that you sucked the coach’s cock to get your position.”

Joffrey clenched his fist, but he knew now was not the time to lash out. He could have lost his place on the team if he was found engaging in street fights. Unfortunately, Daeron didn't share his thoughts. The blonde let go of Joffrey’s hand and punched the boy straight in the face in the blink of an eye. Years of fencing training made him strong and swift, so he easily knocked down three boys of the gang before the fourth kicked him on the shin. Daeron hissed and lost his balance, kneeing down on the ground while the attacker was about to launch another punch.

That was when Joffrey kicked the boy from Daeron’s sight, grabbed his soulmate’s hand again, and ran.

“We can take them all, Joffrey!” Daeron yelled, “Teach them a good lesson so they won’t bother you again!”

“Shut up!” Joffrey yelled back, “You might have just cost me my football career!”

It turned out that Joffrey was half right. He was banned from the field for the next three games, but the boy who mocked him first was kicked out of the team. Daeron thought this was a win, but Joffrey couldn't be more furious. He didn't need Daeron to make his decision for him. If he wanted to continue playing football while still having Daeron as his soulmate, soon or later there would be another bully. Joffrey could never shake off the allegations of being a faggot, even though he didn't see himself as one. Sure, he slept in the same bed with Daeron sometimes and shared a few morning kisses, but that was only for health purposes.

Joffrey was sick of this. He didn't want to be called Daeron’s little boyfriend. He wanted an identity of his own, not as Daeron’s attachment.

So he called in sick, turned off his cell, and locked himself in his room. His mother would be so worried about him but luckily, Rhaenyra was on a trip to Pentos. His brothers, Jace and Luke, stayed in their respective college dorms. Joffrey was alone in the house, and he fucking liked it.

Joffrey was curious about how long he could stay away from Daeron before his body shut down. He knew all the symptoms and signs, but he was just curious whether or not he could live on his own without Daeron.

A day passed, then another, and another, soon Joffrey lost count of the days he kept himself in the room. He still ate, frozen pizzas and or beans on toast, but he hadn't been able to leave the bed since the day before yesterday. The extreme fatigue hit him like a drowning wave, making his every limb heavy as lead, unable to even lift his finger. He might have a fever, Joffrey thought, for he was sweaty at one moment and shivering at the next. He began to slip in and out of consciousness, like he was living in a continuous dream.

Would he die? What would mother think if she returned home to his corpse? Why hadn't Jace and Luke called? Did they trust Daeron so much to take care of their brother so they didn't have to? Why hadn’t Daeron come? Soulmates could sense each other’s feelings to some extent. There was no way Daeron didn’t notice Joffrey’s frustration and despair. Why hadn't he come?

“Open the door, Joffrey Velaryon, you crazy little fuck! Or I will break it down!”

Joffrey must have gone mad to hear things. Even if this was real, he was too weak to open the door now.

Five seconds later, with a loud bang, Joffrey’s bedroom door was kicked open, revealing a furious Daeron with disheveled hair and wrinkled shirt. Daeron threw a death glare with blood-shot eyes at Joffrey as soon as he saw the brunette teenager on the bed.

“Are you fucking mad? Going off grid for a week? Jace almost strangled me because he thought somehow, I was at fault. I can't even start to talk about my fucking rashes. Do you know they form on my balls too?”

Joffrey chuckled. For some reason, he chuckled.

“Move your ass, brat.” Daeron spat, shoving Joffrey to the side before lying down on the bed with his shoes on.

“What are you doing?” Joffrey asked, too weak to struggle.

“RECHARGE.” Daeron said with gritted teeth, “Someone decided to turn off his phone and dwell on his teen angst. I will let you know I have given you enough time to dwell on your misery. Now I want my normal life back.”

“I thought normal life meant without each other,” Joffrey said as Daeron took him into the blonde’s arms, “that’s what I have been trying to do in the past week.”

“Well, it didn't work.” Daeron brushed a strand of damp curls from Joffrey’s face, “Are you still so naive as to think we can stay apart, ever?”

Joffrey closed his eyes, and let the tears fall. Daeron was right. They could never get rid of each other in this life. They were cursed by the damn soul marks forever and ever.

Joffrey and Daeron married each other as soon as Joffrey finished college. He had made his first professional debut at Harrenhal FC this past summer, and now he and his husband officially moved to the Riverlands. Rhaenyra was reluctant to let Joffrey go, but she knew she had to let her little boy fly. Fortunately, Daeron was willing to accompany him. Despite being a fencing star in most of his school days, Daeron decided to pursue the career of a lawyer after graduation. He resigned his job at King’s Landing and found a new one as an attorney assistant in Maidenpool due to him and Joffrey’s condition.

Today marked the one-year anniversary of them moving to a nice lake house near God’s Eye.

They had a nice dinner with wine, chatted about their lives, argued about which team had better chance at winning the Champions Cup (Daeron rooted for Old Town, which Joffrey scoffed and rolled his eyes), and watched a movie on the couch.

Joffrey still had one week to go before he went back to the training field, so he was determined to make good use of it. He ate half a carton of ice cream and drank three glasses of wine before lying contentedly on top of Daeron, tipsy and in a food coma. As he grew older, Joffrey had learned to make peace with his fate. He tried to accommodate Daeron’s schedule as much as possible, and Daeron did the same for him. They had found a comfortable balance now, so his life turned out not to be as intolerable as he had expected. After they got married, they found another thing about the soul bond that could benefit them both. They found out that sex could allow them to stay apart for longer. One round of sex and they were able to stay apart for about 10 days. It came in handy when Joffrey was on an away game or when Daeron had to go on business trip.

Daeron played with Joffrey’s curls absently as the movie went on. They were both warm from the alcohol, satisfied and ready to drift to sleep at any moment.

“How’s your relationship with the new girl going?” Joffrey asked before yawning, “What’s her name? Betty? She looks nice.”

They both agreed that they could seek other lovers as long as they let each other know.

“Bethany.” Daeron said, still playing with Joffrey’s hair, “We went to the pub for a few times.”

“And?” Joffrey lifted his head, placing his jaw on Daeron’s shoulder, “Nothing happened?”

“No.” Daeron shook his head, “I didn’t…We think it’s better to stay as friends.”

“Oh,” Joffrey planted a wet kiss on Daeron’s cheek, “you poor boy.”

“Stop. You have wine breath.” Daeron frowned and pretended to be offended, but his smile betrayed his feelings.

“That makes two of us.” Joffrey kissed Daeron again. He was too drunk to think straight. He kept kissing Daeron while grinding his hips again the blonde. Daeron’s arms were around him in an instant, and soon Joffrey found himself straddling Daeron with his pajama rolled up to his chest.

“Don’t leave a mark.” Joffrey warned, but it was too late. Daeron had already bitten down on his nipple hard enough to draw blood.

“Why? You have somewhere to be?”

Joffrey couldn't answer, because he was busy moaning and cursing Daeron for the blonde’s talented tongue on his body. Joffrey had lost count how many times they spent their night like this, cuddled on the couch, watching a movie they picked at random. But all those nights ended up in passionate sex. They were merciless towards each other. They were too familiar with each other’s body to know exactly how to cause the most reaction.

Daeron slid a hand into Joffrey’s pants and cupped the brunette’s butt, kneading, grabbing and slapping, making Joffrey jolt every time his palm hit Joffrey’s skin.

Joffrey kissed Daeron aggressively on the lips, biting the tip of Daeron’s tongue. Being intimate with your soulmate was a euphoric thing, skin against skin, tongue against tongue and cock against cock. Joffrey remembered the first time Daeron fucked him. The blonde’s cock was only half in when Joffrey came messily on Daeron’s stomach. It hurt like hell but the intimacy, and the adrenaline rush was unlike anything he had experienced before.

“Let me grab the condoms.” Daeron said against Joffrey’s lips before trying to push the brunette off his lap, but Joffrey wouldn't barge.

“No,” Joffrey said, too drunk to care, “do it bareback. I don't care.”

Daeron’s eyes narrowed, the light violet becoming so dark that it almost mirrored Joffrey’s own obsidian ones. He pulled off Joffrey’s pants and pushed one finger in the brunette’s hole without warning, earning a surprised shriek from Joffrey.

The sex was violently good. Joffrey knew it was a strange thing to say, but he couldn’t find better words to describe it. Daeron kept the condoms and the lube in their bedroom drawer, and since Joffrey refused to let him go, Daeron had to spread his spit on his cock before thrusting in. Even though Joffrey had gotten used to a cock inside his butt, lack of lubrication still made him wince with pain. He would have lost his interest if he was with anyone else, but not with Daeron.

“Are you okay, Joff? Did I hurt you?”

“Yes,” Joffrey hissed, “you almost split my butt in half. But don't you dare stop.”

Daeron chuckled and began to thrust. Joffrey didn’t know how it ended, because he passed out during round three. He just remembered waking up on the bed, wrapped in sheets and fresh like a newborn baby, and Daeron greeted him with a kiss and coffee in bed.

Joffrey could get used to this.

“Are you sure you are ok with this?” Joffrey asked anxiously, “My teammates’ wives will all be there. They will call you a football wife too.”

“At least I am prettier than most of them.” Daeron joked, eyes on the road as he drove to the stadium, “Relax. I won’t embarrass you.”

“That’s not what I am talking about.” Joffrey sighed. He thought his meaning was clear. If Daeron showed up in his booth today, there would be no going back. Daeron would be forever associated with Joffrey. He would forever be known as Joffrey’s lawyer husband, instead of a successful criminal attorney. Was Daeron willing to make such sacrifice?

“I know, Joff.” Daeron glanced at Joffrey and smiled, “I want to show my support in your booth.”

“Even when I am playing against Old Town?”

“Hmm, maybe not Old Town.”

“Jerk.” Joffrey slapped Daeron’s arm, but not unkindly.

They had been married for seven years now. For most couples, it would mean the lack of passion, increasing life stress, kids, financial difficulties, etc. Joffrey had heard that the seventh year recorded the highest divorce rate. Not for him, though. If anything, he and Daeron seemed to be more comfortable around each other. They had stopped talking about other love interest for almost five years now. Neither of them mentioned the change, as if talking about it would make it real. They had also developed a comfortable routine splitting house chores and making time for each other like a real married couple.

Joffrey had played for Harrenhal FC for two years before transferring to KL United. They didn’t move back to the city, choosing to stay at a house near Maidenpool where Daeron had opened his own office. Despite the new stage of their relationship, Daeron had never showed up at the stadium to watch Joffrey play. Again, the reason was the same. Acknowledging it would make it real.

“Are you sure?” Joffrey grabbed Daeron’s wrist before the blonde could open the car door, “It’s your last chance. You can still drive off and nobody will know you have been here.”

“I am sure.” Daeron flipped his wrist, taking Joffrey’s hand and intertwining their fingers together, “Are you?”

Joffrey swallowed. Was he? Was he ready to remind the public that Daeron, this handsome man, was truly his husband and soulmate?

Daeron waited patiently for Joffrey’s answer. Joffrey couldn’t help but remember their first meeting. Both of them were silly kids back then, recovering from a bad cold because they had been weakened without their soulmate. Daeron had pushed Joffrey to the floor because Joffrey was sitting on his comic book. Their first impression was the worst.

See how far they had come.

“Joffrey?”

“I am sure.” Joffrey said, determination clear in his eyes, “I want you in the crowd to support me.”

“Let’s go then.” Daeron smiled, and to Joffrey’s great surprise, the blonde leaned in and kissed him on the lips. The kiss was tender and chaste, like a promise.

They never kissed unless absolutely necessary. Certainly not in a public parking lot.

“Right.” Joffrey smiled back, his heart swelled, “Let’s go.”

FIN

#house of the dragon #hotd #joffron #joffrey velaryon #my asks #daeron x joffrey #daeron the daring #soulmates

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rivnedell · 19 days

Text

Tolkien saved me

Just some thoughts I need to write down / Mental health issues mentioned

Not the usual tone of my blog but I just felt a urge to write, sorry

Parental death tw

I'm marked with parental alienation. I was 6 when my mom took us three, her, my sister and I far away to escape. She saved us. But I couldn't understand the bravery and the strength she needed to do that, taking us, a few clothes and driving as fast as she could while he was at work, 900km back to her parents and sisters. We lived a while with one of my aunts then my mom met step-dad. My Dad in heart actually. Fortunately it's a tremendously amazing and caring person, and he helped us to go through the hell.

I was asked to choose between my (bioligical) father and my mom, well my father asked me so. He manipulated me to choose him if I was asked by social workers who do I wanted to live with. He kept insulting my mom in front of me, degrading her, and mocking her when I was with him. Then I was menaced, insulted, degraded, violated, forced to feel guilty about about everything, being under massive and constant psychological control.

And I still feel like I betrayed my mom when I was 7.

The hell lasted until I was 17 and half. I stopped going at his, and I could finally breath, make my studies away and my life from him. In 2018, I was 21, I reconnected with him, I tried to put the negative aside, but it became impossible. It grew as 'it's him or me' and I chose myself, for survival again. It just lasted a year. And for 4 years before he died in nov 22 I could live far away from all of this, far from him, no contact and that felt like a relief.

In reality, I just put everything under the rug and locked it secured.

His death brought back everything, even stronger than it already was.

It felt weird, because I guess I still had a tiny hope that he would change at some point, and that I could someday, be ready to face him and to tell him how much he hurt me, how much he frightened me.

But that will never happen. And all the traumatic memories resurfaced like I was living them in my present. And it's hard. What do I do ? Put it under the rug again and try to survive like nothing ?

No, I don't feel I wanna do this anymore. I'm tired of struggling in the dark. I'm exhausted. Exhausted of being on a constant level of survival mode, while I don't need it.

All of this causes me to deal with CPTSD and its consequences. And it's tough to hang on.

I'm currently at a upper max level of procrastination where I am now feeling so numbed in and like a cocoon I am freaked out to leave. I'm freaked out to make actions, to make things happen.

Impostor syndrome, rejection fear, not feeling legit at anything in life, struggling with the simple will of existing. I do want not to stop existing, but I am afraid of fully existing, because of all the above wounds and fears.

But still, I'm avoiding life, while his death awaken in me the fear of not existing anymore.

Paradox.

And, almost, nothing is helping me hanging on, helping me wanting to bring myself back in life.

All my life I've been hanging tight on Tolkien's work and Peter Jackson's vision to abandon myself into this fantasy land that is Middle Earth, to escape reality. The reality at home that was made of mental insecurity, psychological violence, control and manipulation. In my childhood I used to imagine myself fighting with legolas with a bow and going home in Rivendell after chasing some orcs with Aragorn, meeting Gandalf and Galadriel occasionally. All those characters are so engraved in me and dear to my heart. All this imagination, this entire world, mythological world, and languages seized me when I was 5. And I never let go, and never will.

Middle Earth saved me and helped me wanting to stay alive in a time I was crushed by violence and psychological pressure and control.

But my child self is still rulling me, and I'm trrying to take my actual own conscious power back.

She (little me) used to be afraid, to be frightened, to be insulted, to be violated, to constantly be on survival mode. And she still is, rulling me according her methods for survival.

While.. I, the 26 woman I am now, does no longer need.

So it's a battle between me and me. Because I no longer need to protect myself from a menace that no longer exist, literally.

It's really hard to let go, I think it's the hardest thing I would have ever havr to do in my life. Just let it go and leave the past to the past.

I feel alone and lonely sometimes. Feeling like I would annoy everybody with my whining..

I'm just sharing this with hope that it could awake something in someone and.. Though I'm feeling alone, I don't want anyone to feel like I feel so, I'm saying this to you, you're not alone, we're together, we're fighting.

It's not you're fault.

And to be honest.. I'm not gonna lie, it feels good to write it down.

Thanks if you red til here ❤️

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ashestogolddust · 1 year

Note

Could you maybe do a part two of the demon slayer and avengers crossover where the reader explains to them that they’re a demon slayer but everyone thinks they’re crazy until they encounter a demon from readers world and try to fight it but reader is the only one who can stop it

Yeah sure! Sorry that I posted this late! I just move out to a new apartment and start attending my Uni for the first time! Crazy weeks... Now, to the story!

@yanathesimp

@riri53

@deepmakerlove

@rymtea

@vph

Part 2 Demon Slayer x Avengers

"Demons don't exist. From the sound of it, I think you either dealing with mutants or enhanced human."

Tony said, cutting Y/N off again, earning an annoyed look.

"Humans that eat other humans?"

"Yeah... Cannibalism is a true issue."

Y/N groaned at this. It has been a week since she met both Avengers tean. And Tony had invited her to live with what reminds of his team at the Avengers Tower. Of course, T'Challa had invited her to Wakanda and Steve try to convince her to come with the King but she refused. After hearing from both team perspective on the Civil War, she decided that Captain America is a good man, but he just screwed a lot of countries by choosing his friend instead of the people. She respect him, really. Not to mention, she grown to fond of Peter, Aunt May and his friends.

Multiple times now, Y/N has demonstrate her Breathing Technique and Tony had done various experiment and checks up on her. So far, all he can conclude was a weird unknown energy residues in her body. He did find it was interesting that whenever Y/N used her Breathing Technique, her lungs will expand and her heart will pump faster than it humanly should. The Rogue Avengers been dropping by the current Avengers HQ a lot, saying they were checking on her. But none of them, except for Peter, believes her when she told them about demons. Until...

"5 women were found mauled near the train station last night. Victims seemed to be maul to death..." Y/N's eyes widened at the news.

Bruce, who was sitting next to her immediately turn off the TV, glancing at her with unhidden concern. Tony was the one to speak and broke the sudden silent.

"You're okay there?"

"I... Uh, yeah."

Eyes fixated on the now darken screen, she turn to her friends.

"I think you might want to look that over."

-Time Skip-

Of course, they didn't look into it until it was too late. Y/N still getting used to everything in the new world she in but decided to take matters into her own hand, when not only the authority but both Avengers didn't acknowledge her warnings and went off to face the demon, with non-Nichirin made weapon, no demon poison or wisteria. That night, she pretended to go to sleep early when the Avengers were gearing up after half-heartedly agree to work together to capture the new 'supervillain' that was claimed to have magical abilities and able to regenerate any lost limb. Bruce seems to be the only convinced of what she had told him but knew it was too late to get anything that could help them. Instead, he sneaked in her Nichirin katana and her demon slayer uniform along with her haori, which she is grateful for.

After they left, she immediately changed into her uniform, slipping on her haori and strapped her katana to her waist. Then, she makes haste to the suburbs area, following FRIDAY's instructions. Jumping from one roof to another then running off on the road, leaving flame-like trails behind her as she did. When she reached the area, she almost let out of a sigh of relief. Despite the odd and her arriving a few seconds late (she was lost for a bit) the Avengers, both sides, are still alive despite injured. The Demon was smart enough to knock out those with magical abilities like Wanda, Bruce, and Thor first, leaving some of the team had to stay to guard their fallen comrade.

"Hey, demon!!"

She shouted, getting it's attention away from Natasha who froze when she saw the younger woman.

"A Demon Slayer?!" The thing hissed.

"Blood Demon Art: Shadow Hands!" Shadow hands sprout from beneath the demon, throwing the Avengers away from the or simply pinned them to any surface.

Y/N frowned, before immediately withdrawn her katana.

"You can't stopped me, wench! I have eaten a lot of people!! I'M AS STRONG AS AN UPPERMOON NO-" His words were cut off when he realizes his body dropped to the ground, head cut off and rolling away, the young woman standing behind him, swiping remains of the demon blood away before sheathing her katana, face unimpressed and passive.

"I didn't want to talk. I'm not your therapist, so shut up."

The demon growled and cursed while Y/N stared it down, amused. The Avengers gaped, watching as the demon body slowly scatters into dust, leaving with not a single thing behind. As if it never did exist in the first place. Y/N sighed before turning to them.

"That demon, despite eating so many people, still can't be considered as strong. If it was near the strength of the high ranked demon, I would have struggle more... With that being said..." She hold out hand to Tony was about to get up.

Tony sighs before grabbing her hand and letting himself being pulled to his feet, slightly shocked how easily she did so before she continues to talk, turning to look at all of them with a wide smirk.

"And still... You guys did a good job on holding it back... Do you guys believe me now?"

No one dare to says anything as the young woman turned around to look at the slowly lighten horizon with a look of relief.

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #crossover #kny #avengers x y/n

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sunnyie-eve · 7 months

Text

4 | Happy Christmas

Series: Little Things

Paring: Mattheo Riddle x OFC Potter!

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Might be a few mistakes

| MASTERLIST |

"Who do you think will win todays Quidditch match?" Enzo asks as we eat breakfast.

"Slytherin. They've been winning for years." Draco says like it's so obvious.

"Yeah, but Gryffindor has my brother now as their seeker." I shrug my shoulders.

"You doubting your house?" Flint slams his hands on the table beside me startling me.

"I was ju-,"

He cuts me off, "Just betraying your house? You're already a blood traitor being a half blood and caring for non purebloods. You shouldn't be in this house. You're just a-," He gets cut off.

"Mr. Flint." Professor Snaps walks up to us.

"Professor." He stands up straight and leaves the great hall. Snape nods his head at me then goes over to Harry.

"You okay?" Willow asks me.

"Yeah." I nod my head and stay quite eating my food.

Later when it was time for the match I don't join the group so I could sit by myself. "You know how hard it was to fine you?" Mattheo sits next to me.

"I wanted to be alone." I sigh.

"I know but we gotta stick together." He nudges me.

"Why do you say that?" I ask him as the game starts.

"You're my friend. The first friend I made so you are more special than the others. Plus we keep some things a secret." He says as we watch the match.

"We don't know that much about each other." I laugh.

"But I feel like you won't judge me for my background. Who my parents are." I look at him looking down.

"You still haven't told me who they are." I remind him.

"I can't say it. I made a promise with Dumbledore coming in. You don't know how hard it was to convince him to let me come here." He chuckles.

"They were that bad?" He nods his head. "Well, I don't care because you aren't like them. You are your own self. And I like who Mattheo Riddle is." I make him smile. I look back up and see Harry jerking around on his broom. "Harry!" I jump up. "What's going on with his broom stick?" I ask worried.

"Someone is jinxing his broom." Mattheo tells me as Slytherin's start to laugh at him as he hands on dangling.

After sometime Harry gets back in making me let out a sigh of relief. "He's got the snitch!" They announce making the other houses cheer except Slytherin.

"Cheer on the inside." Mattheo whispers to me making me laugh.

"Oh, I am." He shakes his head at me.

I'm no time it was Christmas break and most students were going home to spend it with their families. "How come your aren't going home?" I ask Mattheo as we sit in the great hall playing card games.

"Our deal with Dumbledore says I have to stay here the whole time. Why aren't you going home?" He asks putting down his card.

"Our aunt and uncle hate us. Oh, I win." I stick my tongue out at him.

"Oh, Hazel... You're gonna help Harry look for information on Nicholas Flamel, right?" Hermione walks up to us.

"We've looked a hundred times." I whine.

"You are just like Ron." She rolls her eyes. "As I just told them... Not in the restricted section. Happy Christmas to the both of you." She leaves us.

"I think you've had a bad influence on her." Mattheo makes me laugh.

"Maybe. See told you me being here was going to mess me up." I joke with him.

"Hazel, come here." I look back at Harry playing chess.

"Come on." I motion for Mattheo to follow me to Harry and Ron.

"She tell you all what she just told us?" Harry asks.

"Yeah, keep looking but try the restricted area." I lean against the table.

"I told Hazel she's had a bad influence in her." Mattheo tells them.

"I said the same thing about Harry and I." Ron laughs.

"We'll keep me updated. I'm gonna go to my dorm. See you guys tomorrow." I pat the top of their heads leaving.

When we get to our dorm we each go change into something else to be lazy in, in the common room. "I just realized neither of us have any roommates while they're away." Mattheo laughs as we plop onto the sofa. "What's one of your biggest secret people don't know about you?" Mattheo asks as we stare at the fire. "Our secret." He puts out a pinky so I take it.

"Harry and I can telepathy talk to each other." I say making him look at me.

"So you both are telepathic?" He tilts his head.

"Harry can't don't any of it with anyone else, but I can if I try to work on it. I don't though because I read that it can be troubled and I can hurt my head." I explain to him.

"That's cool."

I nod my head, "What's yours?" I lean closer to him to nudge him.

"I'm telling you this because I trust you... My mother is Bellatrix Lestrange." I was taken back because I read about her when I was catching up on what happened with the dark wizards.

"She's... I'm...wow..." I was speechless then smile a little. "I appreciate how you really trust me to tell that."

He just looks at me, "I just feel really comfortable with you."

I lean over giving him a hug, "I feel really comfortable with you too, Mattheo."

We both lay on the sofa and just talk till we both pass out on it. "Hazel, we should go to bed." I hear him while he shakes me.

"Yeah." I rub my eyes walking to my room.

"Goodnight." We tell each other going to bed in our rooms. It was nice to have Mattheo as a friend. Out of all the guys I felt most comfortable with him because I feel like he wouldn't judge me.

///

Mattheo gets dressed going to the common room but sees Hazel was still in bed. He walks over to the tree and finds his gift and opens it. Here's exactly what you wanted. Happy. Christmas. The note says and he smiles to himself going to wake Hazel up. "Hazel, wake up." He pokes her. "Get up. I'm all alone." The poking turns into shaking.

"Five more minutes." She groans.

"Fine." He sighs setting one of the parts of his gift on her dresser before leaving.

Hazel groans not being able to fall back into a good sleeping stage so she sits up rubbing her eyes. She looks around the empty room then her eyes land on the gift on her dresser. Picking it up she opens it to see a white rope bracelet that said pinky promise. She smiles to herself put it on her left wrist and gets up going to the common room.

"What happened to five more minutes?" Mattheo laughs at her.

"I couldn't fall back asleep so I had to get up. Thank you so much for ruining my sleep." She roll her eyes jumping onto the sofa next to him. "Also thank you for the gift. And how the hell did you get up to the girls dorm?" She puts out her arm showing it off.

"I'm not telling you trick and you're welcome." He puts out his showing her a matching one but black. "And it does this." He puts his hand closer to hers and shows the little dangly part connects with his because it was a magnet. "Happy Christmas, Hazel." They put their arms down.

"Happy Christmas, Mattheo. I should go see Harry. Do you wanna come with me?" She asks getting up.

"Nah, go see your brother." She nods her head leaving the Slytherin common room going up to the Gryffindor's.

"Can you tell Harry Potter to come out?" She asks the painting. Soon the painting opens and Harry pulls her in. "I don't think we are allowed to go into other common rooms." She tells Harry.

"I don't care, you're my sister. Oh and Ron's mom put your sweater in with mine." Harry hands her a homemade sweater.

"It's weird getting presents from others." She tell them.

"I know. Also look at this." Harry uses a cloak then disappears.

"An invisibility cloak." Her jaw drops.

"It didn't say who it was from. Just that it was dads. I'm gonna use it to go into the restricted area in the library at night." Harry lets her know.

"Hopefully you find something. I should get back to Mattheo because we are the only ones in the Slytherin house here. Happy Christmas." She hugs Harry then waves to Ron leaving.

When she get backs to Mattheo they kinda just lounge around bored for the whole day together. "We do it all over again tomorrow?" Mattheo jokes at they head to their rooms.

"Duhh. Night, Matty." She stops looking back at him.

"Night, Hazie." He smiles back.

While Hazel was sleeping in her room alone, Harry sneaks in walking her up with Ron. "What the hell?" She sits up.

"You gotta see this. Trust me." He pulls his sister out of her bed.

"Hurry up so we can go back to sleep." Ron groans tired.

Harry get all three of them under the cloak and takes the to the room with the mirror. "Come look. It's our parents." Harry rushes over to the mirror.

"I only see us." Ron tell him.

"Look in properly. Go on, stand there." Harry lets Ron go first but Ron just sees himself as the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and Head Boy, holding up the Quidditch Cup.

"Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future?" Ron asks him.

"How can it? Both my parents are dead. Hazel see if you can see them." Harry places her in front of it.

She sighs looking into the mirror but doesn't see her parents just an older version of her and Mattheo holding each other tight. "I don't see them." She stares at the mirror confused.

"What do you see?" Ron asks.

"Umm... I'm just hugging someone." She tells them. "I'm going back to bed. If I get caught, I get caught." She leaves them thinking about looking up the mirror tomorrow in the library.

The next morning while she was looking through books Mattheo shows up. "Thought I'd find you here." He takes a seat.

"Found it!" She reads the passage.

"The Mirror of Erised." She reads out loud.

"Erised?" Mattheo repeats.

"Desire backwards. The mirror shows the deepest, most desperate desire of your heart." Hazel nods her head.

"Did you come across this mirror?" He asks her.

"Harry took me and Ron to it last night because he saw our parents. I didn't see them." She closes the book.

"What did you see?" He asks curious.

"Us older hugging. I think it could be because all I've ever wanted was for someone who wasn't Harry to care and be there for me." I sigh getting up putting up the book.

"I do care about you so... I guess you want a friend who will be there for a long time." He follows her.

"I guess I do." She sighs with her back facing him.

///

"I had you looking in the wrong section. How could I be so stupid?" Hermione slams a book on the table and it lands on Harry's hand making me giggle at his pain. "I checked it out weeks ago for a bit of light reading." Hermione sits down.

"This is light?" Ron asks her so she gives him a look.

"You barely like reading the paper. And that is very light." I give him a look.

"You watch me in the mornings?" He raises an eyebrow.

"When I'm bored I look around the whole room. Continue Hermione." I tell her so she does.

She reads to us that he made the stone and that's what what Fluffy is guarding. "You going to meet us outside to go to Hagrid at night?" Harry asks me.

"Yeah, I'll sneak out. See you later." I get up leaving the table.

"Boo!" Theo jumps out startling me.

"You're so funny." I roll my eyes walking again and this time Draco pops out.

"I hate you guys." I walk again and Mattheo pops out. I just sigh glaring at him. "Is Enzo next?" I ask and he comes out upset. "Next time you think about scaring me don't do it all in one go. Do it throughout the day. Be smart not dumb." I explain to them.

"I tried telling them." Pansy shakes her head then leaves with her group of girls.

"You find anything out?" Mattheo asks me.

"Yeah." I keep it short since the guys were walking behind us.

When it was time for bed I make sure to quietly sneak out to go meet the three to go to Hagrid's. At Hagrid's he tries to shoo us away but we tell him we know about the Scorcer's stone so he lets us in. Harry explains that he thinks Snape is still after the stone, so Hagrid said Snape is one of the teacher protecting it.

"Hagrid is that an dragon egg?" I ask as he set it in the table.

"Yes... I won it off a stranger I met down at the pub." He tells us as the egg starts to shake and crack.

"That's a Norwegian Ridgeback." Ron says telling us his brother works with them.

"Who's that?" We all turn to window to see Draco.

"Malfoy." Harry and I say together.

"I swear he was asleep" I groan as we all walk back walking into McGonagall.

"Good evening." She gives us a look while Draco and Mattheo step out. I glare at him wondering why would he snitch on me.

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lesbian-ed · 1 year

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Hi. I don't know if this blog is still active but in case it is I was hoping maybe to hear some thoughts from you, or maybe even your followers, about confidence and comfort towards one's own body. Like how to deal with anxiety. I am lesbian, obviously female, way too old, I've never had sex, or even really dated. I don't approach people romantically because I hate my body and distance myself from all chances for dating. I've been trying to lose weight but I've struggled with obesity practically all my life. I also think I'm much hairier (I mean it's everywhere and I'm not light haired either omg) than what is normal for most women, and I hate both shaving and just letting the hair grow. I have more or less given up on dating because I don't want people to see me naked or get close to me. Sometimes I feel I'm content but sometimes I feel this isn't healthy: it concerns me that my hatred for my body is keeping me from experiencing intimacy, and how long can that go on until it becomes psychologically damaging. Though who am I kidding - the damage's been done. I understand that people of all shapes and sizes etc. date, fall in love and so on, but I have this deep-rooted discomfort about my body that I've felt since I was around twelve. So I was hoping to hear some thoughts or experiences on how one might overcome this kind of persistent disgust, though I understand if this isn't the kind of ask you wanna answer. In any case thank you for reading.

Hi! I'm sorry this ask has been sitting in our inbox for a few months, unfortunately we don't always still have the time or energy to go through the asks anymore. I wanted to answer this, and I know it's so late but here's to hoping you might wander back here someday, and that this may help you, or another woman who feels similary.

I shared this view for a really long time (so much so, I identified as trans for a long time. I never felt "woman enough" because of my body). I struggled with being fat, hairy, "unwomanly".

When I was in school all of my friends got attention from boys and men, and I never peaked anyone's interest. Even though I didn't want to be with boys, I still craved that attention, I thought there was something wrong with me for being someone who no one would ever want. I punished myself with no eating, too much eating, self harm.

For me, what finally clicked was when I was first introduced to radical feminism, and through that I started thinking about the concept of inherent worth. I knew all women had inherent worth for being women, for being alive. I knew I had empathy and care for all women, regardless of thei appearance, and I thought they all deserve respect. That eventually led to the radical realization that if I think all women are worthy, then I must extend this to myself. I am woman, just as any other. And my external appearance doesn't change my self worth.

It really helped to stop seeing what is considered "ugly" as a negative thing, and rather to think of it as neutral, inconseqential, of no value. Instead of looking at all that was "wrong" with me as a bad thing, I took all power from it. I knew that I would never think badly of other women who looked like me, so why would I be the only exception?

Slowly, I was able to take away all the weight I put into my appearance, and became more neutral. Don't get me wrong, I'm not magically healed. There are still days where I'm reminded of all the ways that I don't fit into society's expectations for what a woman should be. I'm reminded of how terrified my mom was and still is that I'd end up staying fat. I'm reminded of aunts and uncles comenting on me losing and gaining weight since I was as young as 6 or 7. I know that being hairy, with dark body hair all over, is not the standard for what's attractive.

But those days have less weight in the grand scheme of things because no longer is my focus in life to be palatable. And I don't mean to come off like I have all the answers, that my way is the only way. I know this is not an easy journey.

But I think in order for you to start seeing yourself as someone who is worthy of desire, of love, of care, first you've got to see yourself as human. The more I look back at how people treated me growing up, at how people still treat me now, the truth is that society doesn't see "ugly" women as people. We are dehumanized, objectified as clutter, things in the way of what is "right".

I'm sure you're a kind and nice person. Look at yourself from the outside in, look at yourself as you'd look at someone else: what would you say to yourself then? Would you really think so badly of you then?

Be patience. I understand we have a lot telling us that we are not good enough, that aging is bad, that we have expiration dates. But as long as you are around, you are human, you are worthy of kindness.

Regarding the romantic aspect of this, I used to share your anxiety, that no one would want to look at me naked, that I would never feel comfortable undressing in front of someone. But then I met my girlfriend, and she made me feel so comfortable with myself that when we finally met and the time came to share intimacy... It just happened so organically, so naturally. It wasn't a performance, it was caring for each other. Not once did she look at me with disgust, not once was she anything but kind. I don't think it's just because she's some saint. I think when you care about someone, attraction comes naturally, and you don't separate body and mind. You just know that is your person, and you want them fully.

So maybe slowly working on allowing others to see you for who you are, not physically, but like.... Your personality. Open up. It doesn't need to be going on dating apps. It's just... surround yourself with women. Be around other women, love them, let them love you.

Things move slow, but self care can be just allowing a friend to tell you you're a good person. Accept compliments, even when your instinct is to tell others that they're wrong. Be kind to yourself. You deserve kindness, there is nothing about the way you look that is inherently wrong.

Posting this here so hopefully we'll hear from others as well, and hopefully you'll catch this one. Take care. Be well. You deserve good things, just because you're human, just because you're there.

#mod a #self image #self esteem #self harm #body image #October 28 2022

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djino04 · 1 year

Text

Injury 2

Author's note : Someone asked for the sequel to "Injury", here it is. I'm not particularly a fan of this chapter, but nothing better came out of my head.

POV Farah

It's finally summer vacation and I've been alone at school since this morning. The students have of course gone home. Ben, Terra and Sam have gone back to Rose, as they do every year. And I managed to persuade Saul and Sky to go away together for a few days. I hope this little trip will give them a chance to work things out. They're both hurting from the current state of their relationship, but I know he's not yet ready to forgive his foster father. Maybe the change of scenery will do him good.

It feels strange to be alone here. In 18 years, it's rarely been like this. And besides, since my return, the students have been very clingy. And when it wasn't them, it was Saul or Ben.

Every few minutes I look up at the door, expecting one of the fairies to knock and then I remember that they all went home. I really thought I could finally get on with the paperwork, but I was wrong. I guess I might as well go to my quarters and relax.

I quickly put the papers away on my desk when I hear my phone ring. I frown as I see Saul's satellite phone number. He already called me 30 minutes ago to complain about Sky's behavior. Although in real life, I know he did it mostly to see how I was doing. At this distance, our connection doesn't work very well, so he needed that to reassure himself. I can't even imagine how he felt the moment I died. What I do know is that his protectiveness has increased tenfold since my return. To be perfectly honest, I don't mind so much that it's coming from him, although I will continue to grumble for the sake of it. Which I do, by the way, as I pick up the phone:

"Saul, I'm past the age of needing a babysitter."

"Aunt Farah..."

It's not Saul on the other end of the phone but Sky, a very concerned Sky from the sound of his voice, not to mention the fact that he hasn't called me by that nickname since he became a student at Alfea. I then fear the worst but try to stay calm as I ask him:

"Sky, what's going on? Where's Saul?"

"He's hurt. The wood stock collapsed on him. I think he has a concussion."

"Is he conscious?"

"He was when I left him. But now I don't know, I'm at the car."

A plan of action quickly begins to form in my head and I explain it to Sky:

"Okay, join your dad Sky, keep him conscious and don't move him for now. I'll get the supplies I need and come through the portal, okay? Everything will be fine, I promise."

After assuring him again that I'll be there soon, I hang up. I could have stayed on the phone with Sky to reassure him, but it would have taken me longer to get everything ready. On top of that, I want him to focus on Saul to keep him awake. It only takes me about ten minutes to get everything I need and create a portal to the hunting cabin. It's a good thing my specialist took me there a few years ago, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do it.

As I walk through the portal, I immediately feel Saul's pain through our connection. I am reassured that they are not too serious and that I should be able to deal with the injuries without Ben. Despite the rain and wind, I run to what's left of the cabin. Once there, I hear Sky's voice but also Saul's as they both talk. The younger one looks up at me when he notices my presence and simply says:

"Aunt Farah."

I see Saul trying to straighten up and I put a hand on his shoulder as soon as I'm beside him:

"Just lie there while I check to see that you didn't do anything bad this time. You'll have to tell me how you manage to find trouble even on vacation."

He lies down again without protesting and answers me:

"Maybe this wouldn't happen if you agreed to go on vacation with us."

I simply reply with a smile. It is true that I often let the two men go together and sometimes join them later. Sky needs to have Saul all to himself from time to time. Which happens more and more rarely now that he is a student and no longer sleeps in his foster father's apartments. And I'm sure Saul really appreciates this time alone as well.

I use my magic to scan his body and assess the damage. I'm reassured to see that other than the concussion, he's not hurt badly. He has some bruises, a few cuts, and he's going to be stiff for several days, but it could be worse. Most importantly, we'll be able to move him safely. We are all soaked and there is no point in us adding a cold or worse to the list of problems.

I quickly explain my findings to the two men:

"Other than the concussion, I didn't find anything serious. We're going to be able to get into the house and out of these wet clothes. I brought a potion that should help with your head and some things for the cuts and bruises. You'll be back on your feet in no time."

Saul starts to straighten up and I can see a slight grimace of pain appear on his face before he hides it. I know he's not going to want to let me take his pain so I don't even offer. Sky gets on one side and I get on the other and we help Saul get up and then walk towards the house and to his room.

Once we arrive and Saul is sitting on the bed, I turn to Sky:

"Sky, go change, take a hot shower if you're cold. I'll take care of Saul."

I can see that the boy hesitates for a few seconds. He glances at Saul. The latter gives him a reassuring smile:

"I'm fine now. You did a good job, thanks. Now go get changed like Farah told you."

Obviously, this is what Sky needed to hear because he quickly exits the room. I then turn to Saul, potions in hand:

"To us both."

I hand him a vial, which he takes with a suspicious look:

"It's not that I don't trust you but uh, are you sure about this?"

"Just because I missed a potion once doesn't mean it'll happen every time. And anyway, it was Ben who made it so there's no risk."

Once, just once, I messed up making a healing potion like this. Andreas and Saul were sick all day and then neither of them would ever take one of my potions. What they don't know is that they've drunk several since then. The dark-haired guy looks at me for a second longer before drinking the potion straight down with a grimace. But even though it's not good, its effect is almost instantaneous. I hear him sigh with relief and feel the pain recede.

"See, there was nothing to worry about. Come on now, let's hit the shower too. I'll take care of the rest afterwards."

I don't even ask him if he's able to shower or not because I know he'll say yes anyway. He has a slight tendency to underestimate his injuries. After finding him passed out twice in the bathroom, I have learned to assess his condition from our bond. More importantly, I use it to monitor him throughout his recovery, no matter how slightly or severely injured he is. When Saul figured it out, he started blocking his part of the bond in those moments and I think that was one of the only times we really argued. If he can't be honest about his injuries, I need a way to know how he's doing. He eventually figured out that I wasn't doing this to invade his privacy and has left the link open every time since.

I am brought out of my thoughts by Sky coming over and sitting next to me. I can see that all of this has upset him. It's not surprising, especially with everything he's been through this year, including Andreas' death. I put an arm around his shoulders and he comes to lean against me. I ask him:

"How are you doing?"

"You know I'm not the one who got hurt?"

I smile gently at him:

"You know, you don't have to be physically hurt to not be okay. I know the last few months have been hard on you. And what just happened may have messed you up."

He shrugs:

"I'm not a kid anymore."

No, he's not really one anymore because of Rosalind. These kids have been through war in the last year. And Sky had to kill her biological father with his own hand to protect his adoptive father. There is a lot to be upset about, child or not. That's why I say to him:

"You don't have to be a child to be upset about things. It's perfectly normal to be scared when you see someone you love being hurt. I was scared when you called me and then when I saw Saul lying on the floor."

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow:

"You seemed very calm though."

"Being scared is not the same as panicking Sky. It's in the moments of fear where you have to step back and think so you don't make the wrong decision. That's what you did, you called me and Saul is fine because of you. But you know being an adult is also about dealing with problems by talking things through instead of letting your anger out. "

Our conversation is stopped by Saul stepping out of the shower, shirtless. I can quickly see that I was not mistaken, there are some bruises and cuts that deserve a balm but nothing too bad. After a good night's sleep, he'll be almost as good as new and he'll be fit enough to finally have a good conversation with Sky. That is, if he is ready.

#saul silva #sky of eraklyon #farah dowling #fic #fate: the winx saga #fate the winx saga

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the-cranck-hobbit · 2 years

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Broken Leg and First Choice || Song of a Nightingale Pt.9

Author's note : English is not my mother tongue, I am french but I wanted to try to write in English so here we are ! (Don't hesitate to tell me about the errors…)

Pairing : Mitchell! OC x Rooster, mention of Kazansky! OC x Hangman, mention of OC × Iceman

Summary : Two years after the uranium mission, Maverick enjoys his new life. Working on his plane, drinking beer at the Hard Deck, building a limpy little family with Penny and her daughter, Rooster, his WSO's son and Blizzard, his wingman's and old friend's daughter.

Everything change the day he got a call which announces the existence of a 26 years daughter.

Discover the story of Ally and Bradley, find out if Kathleen will deal with her father's legacy, and meet Beck, the first woman graduate of Top Gun.

Warning : VERY BAD WRITING, age gap, mention of death, mention of diseases, mention of parents death, mention of s*x but nothing descriptive

Days after days, Ally builds her new life in California. Pete introduced her to a friend who owns a garage. Mark - Maverick’s friend - accepts Ally for a one month try. Since the first day, she felt perfectly in her place, as if she meant to work with her hands full of grease and durst. She used to come back home, black spots and big smiles on her face. She was more excited than ever when she was talking about her day. Her childish enthusiasm was making everybody laugh. It was hard to resist her when she was like that.

Ally promised to search for a place when she'll definitely be hired, even if Penny and Pete told her that she could take her time. She made new friends, most of them are part of the Dagger Squad that her father trained two years ago. She’s got some new habits, walks on the beach with Pete and parties in the Hard Deck with the Squad are part of it.

What she wasn’t used to was deployment. First it was Payback and Faboy, then Blizzard, Phoenix and Bob. Even if everybody were acting like there was no reason to worry, Ally could feel the nervousness of her father the day they picked up Kat at the airport. She was wearing her fly-suit and her hair was tied back in a braid. It was the first time Ally saw her friend dressed in uniform.

Her outfit wasn’t the only thing that was different. Her stare was more cold and her smile less shining. Like if she was already wearing a kind of mask that allows her to do her duty. The only moment she lowered the mask was the moment Jake took her in his arms and she buried her face in his chest. She kissed her boyfriend deeply and turned around to board the plane.

With Blizzard, Phoenix and Bob deployed and Hangman back in Texas to see his family, Bradley and Ally spent more time together. He used to pick her at her work and bring her back to the Hard Deck or home to rejoin Mav.

Pete and Ally planned a round trip in Australia so Ally could bring her last stuff to California and finalize all that remained to be settled about her mother’s death. Most of these things consist of seeing her aunts and uncles (who have always been awful with her) and selling the house. As saying that Ally will need support over there. So she was glad to know that her father was going to accompany her.

Unfortunately, five days before the departure, Penny fell from a chair while she was cleaning the kitchen and she broke her leg. She couldn’t do her shift with crutches, the young bartender just resigned and Jimmy couldn’t handle all the evening alone since the two weeks trip.

“I’m sorry, Ally, I’m so so sorry.” couldn’t stop repeating Pete. Ally smiled at him. “Don’t worry, dad. Penny needs you at the Hard Deck, it’s normal you stay here to help her. Don’t worry about me, I’m a big girl, I can go to Australia alone.”

“I know, I know, but it’s gonna be a hard time for you, I don't like the idea of you going through all this alone, as you did with your mother's disease. I don’t want you to feel lonely anymore.” Ally tried to comfort him but Bradley, who was listening all the time, interrupted her. “I can go.” Both father and daughter looked at him. Rooster looked at Maverick. “I can go with Ally. So you can stay to work at the Hard Deck and Ally won’t be alone in Kangaroo's Kingdom.”

Maverick looked at Ally. “Is it good for you ?” Ally tried to ignore her heart, which was beating faster at the idea of spending two weeks alone with Bradley. “Yeah, yeah. It’s perfect."

At the end of the week, she sat on the plane near Bradley Bradshaw for an almost 19 hours flight.

_______________________________

Top Gun Fightertown, two years ago

Blizzard ran out after Hangman, who got out of the debrief room just after he threw the truth about Goose back in Rooster’s face, in front of all the Squad. To conclude by saying that Rooster wasn’t ready for the mission. Blizzard was furious and when everyone would be yelling at his face, Blizzard’s wrath was cold, Ice cold. “Seresin !”

Hangman looked back at her. He was used to hearing her call him Hangman and even Bagman and he anticipated that she could yell at him to defend her dear Rooster. But calling him by his last name ? That’s new.

“You are the biggest bastard of the Earth.” Hangman smirked, snarky. “Tell me something I don’t know, Kazansky.” Coyote was looking at the conversation from afar, ready to defend his friend. Blizzard was fighting against tears that rose to her eyes. But in appearance, she was still cold as ice.

“You don’t know what it is. Having a parent that is dead up there, and living with that, flying with that. Who are you to think that you can drop something like that in front of everyone ! You don’t know the story, you don’t know their story !”

The cold stare she was sending him made him feel uneasy. Ok, maybe this time he went too far, but he knew why he did what he did.

“You’re right. I don’t know what it is to live with this kind of legacy. But what I know it’s that we are going on a fucking suicide mission. We don’t need the man that trained us to be affected by his personal stuff.”

Blizzard interrupted him. “If you think that Maverick is going to choose Rooster because of their common past, you are wrong.” It was Hangman’s turn to interrupt her. “I know that. But just as I said, it’s a suicide mission. I'm going to do this mission and I want the best pilots with me. And even if it tears my tongue to say it, Rooster is one of them. But he needs to be much better.”

Blizzard was speechless, that was the last thing she was expecting from Hangman. He understood that Mav was likely to set apart Rooster and he didn’t want to. So he drove him to become one of the best. He wanted Rooter as his wingman.

A little voice in Blizzard’s head told her that she already knew it. That she always knew there was something else behind this asshole’s mask, something more interesting. And right now he let her see a part of him, of the real he.

Hangman turned around and left her standing there.

He glanced over his shoulder and said : “By the way, he is my second choice, the first one is stuck in the ground.”

The idea of being Hangman’s first choice gave birth to feelings in her body that she couldn’t explain. Or that she didn't want to explain.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, ran her hand through her hair and turned around, murmuring an angry “damnit”. She got back and headed for the locker, searching for Rooster.

#fanfiction #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun 86 #bradley rooster bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #bradley bradshaw x oc #jake seresin x oc #tom kazansky x oc #iceman #rooster #hangman #maverick #hangman x oc #rooster x oc #iceman × oc

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luciehercndale · 1 year

Text

I need to write this post today, on this unforgettable anniversary. Some people I talk with probably already know about this bit of my life, but I feel like I don't talk about this enough and years later, I still feel like I haven't moved on. It's something painful from my life, something I think about everyday ever since it happened. I don't dare to talk about it with anybody, because I often overlook my trauma, but today, I feel like talking about this with you. I feel like sharing this part of my life with you. Maybe talking about this event on my blog may help me to deal with it.

tw: disease, death, loss, trauma

It's eleven years today. Eleven years since you left us. I know that you didn't want to leave, and when we learned about your disease, we also thought you could make it. It didn't hurt to have hope, even though now I think I was lying to myself. As the months went by, and you wouldn't get better, I still hoped. Until the very end, I still believed you could make it. I still remember, one or two weeks before it happened, that you told me: "you're mature, you're going to make it." I didn't understand why. It seemed final. It sounded as if you were already saying goodbye in your own way, and I didn't want to accept that. Everyone knew there wasn't anything left to do, but they kept the truth from me. How can you tell a daughter that her mother is going to die? I hated this. I hated that they tried to ease our pain by not telling us until it was too late. Two years prior, I realized it was the end. They took you home, your sisters came home and stayed with you and took care of you. Even then, I didn't want to believe it. It was a blur when it happened. I still remember the time, 10:10pm. I hid into my room because I wanted to be alone, and one of my aunts called me, saying I needed to say goodbye. It was awful, because I saw you heaving your last breath and leave us, an experience I don't want to repeat again. Yet, I can't stop thinking about it after eleven years, and I still cannot cry. It stayed with me, and I can't talk about it with anybody because I know people hurt just thinking about it. So I closed myself off to the world even more, I tried to hold the remaining family together, sometimes even substituting you, but the truth is that I was only trying to cope. After eleven years, a lot of things changed, yet, it doesn't seem like much changed. I still miss you. I still feel like I'm barely surviving, and the truth is that I'm tired. I need to rest. I think that the year after my graduation was the breaking point. Please, give me the strength to go on.

#Tweety.txt #tw trauma #tw death #tw disease

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contreparry · 2 years

Note

Happy Friday! How about "Fireflies and cicadas" from the summertime prompts?

Here's some Bran Surana and Alistair friendship for @dadrunkwriting!

Bran wasn't an outdoors person.

He liked a temperature-controlled environment, where he wouldn't have to deal with weather, pollen, or insects. No insects, please and thank you. His grandmother would be terribly embarrassed that her grandson was so... incapable. Bran felt a little bit of shame color his cheeks at the thought. Couldn't pitch a tent, couldn't start a fire without magic, couldn't even catch a fish or find something edible in the wilderness!

Maybe this trip would change things.

"The forests around here are pretty remarkable," Alistair said as he clambered over the rocky shoreline. "Big pine trees, got some scrubby bushes- oak trees, maybe? I don't know my trees."

"Neither do I," Bran replied, and he poked at the smoldering pile of twigs and logs with a stick. This would all be so much easier if Alistair would let him blast the wood with a fireball, but he promised to try to light a fire with matches and tinder. Despite it all (hardship, outdoors, lack of coffee) Bran was... content. Alistair's joy was infectious, and as the cicadas in the woods hummed like an overheated computer Bran sat back and stared up at the clouds floating across the sky.

"It's... nice. Pretty," Bran said slowly. "Don't know if it is something for me, but... it's a nice change." Maybe he should get out of the lab and the shop more often. He hadn't felt the sun on his face in ages, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was always being watched whenever he was in the city. When Alistair offered to take him on a camping trip ("Just for the weekend on the coast! Promise!"), Bran jumped at the chance to escape what felt like a cage.

"I was going to invite Leliana as well, but she's... apparently heading back to Val Royeux? Some sort of party hosted by her aunt," Alistair said. He flopped into a canvas camping chair and stared out over the sparkling waters of the bay.

"I didn't know she had family," Bran remarked. As cheerful and warm as Leliana was, she was somewhat a mystery to him. For one thing, she was one of the few people who seemed to understand his alchemical research. She also let him study at Witches' Brew, topping off his coffee whenever she passed. Said that he was "good for the ambiance" and let him stay for hours even when Morrigan loudly complained about "free-loading bookworms" drinking all the coffee.

"It's complicated. Morrigan threatened to turn me into a frog if I asked," Alistair shuddered. "Didn't realize they were so close."

"Maybe Morrigan's being territorial," Bran suggested. Morrigan was like that. If she liked someone, she showed it with an over-protective stance, snapping at anyone who bothered those she cared for. For example, even though she complained about Bran lurking in the coffee shop, she never kicked him out. She might tease Leliana mercilessly, but she was the first to jump to her defense. And even if she mocked Alistair, Bran noticed that she always happened to have peanut butter cookies in stock just for him.

"Might be. Apparently she threatened to kick a man in the shins. Because he was, uh... looking. At you. In a funny way?" Alistair said.

"Huh."

"She also suggested I get you out of town. Same with Leliana," Alistair whistled. "Maker's Balls, might be the first time the two of them agreed on something!"

"Will wonders ever cease?" Bran mumbled, a thread of concern worming its way into his heart. Maybe he wasn't being paranoid after all. Maybe he was being watched. But by who? He hadn't noticed anything odd. At least, nothing out of the ordinary. There was the guy with the designer boots at the bookshop who flirted with him once, but otherwise Bran's life was incredibly ordinary. Normal! Why would anyone bother to spy on him? Unless they were some elf-hating racist prick, but that was just... that kind of came with the territory. It wasn't unusual.

But having friends who cared was. Alistair clapped his hand on Bran's shoulder and grinned broadly, his reddish-brown hair bright in the sunshine.

"C'mon. I'll teach you how to catch a fish," he declared. "Duncan says there's a good fishing spot down the beach. And the fireflies will come out when the sun goes down!"

Bran rose to his feet and pulled his sweatshirt over his head. Weather and insects aside, maybe this whole outdoors thing wasn't so bad after all.

#da drunk writing circle #my writing

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autumnbell32 · 7 months

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I haven't gone to the hospital yet- I started packing, but really had some hesitation. Besides the fact that they try to hard plastic chair the depression out of you (if you know you know), an acute inpatient psychiatric unit is a rough place to be (I have trauma from past stays-yes psych hospitalization can often cause trauma) and the costs are extremely high, even with insurance. I am almost done paying off my last hospital stay from 2019. I wouldn't want to deter anyone from going inpatient if they need it- if they feel like they may be a harm to themselves. Or if they feel like they aren't taking care of themselves anymore- which was where I was at. I was back to the point where I felt like I was moving in slow motion and every daily activity felt alien to me (I'm still kind of there, actually).

I've been dealing with a full month of gnarly, acute bipolar depression that wasn't coordinating with my menstrual cycle like it usually does- this was unmitigated mood oscillation and extreme unfounded anxiety probably brought about by the change in season. I love the fall aesthetic but the season isn't easy for bipolars. And I was scared and wasn't sure if I could count on my family to help. Without their support I most definitely needed to be in the hospital because I needed someone around me. Over the last year I have started accessing and reaching out to other parts of my family (cousin, aunt), rather than just the same immediate family members who know nothing about mental illness, yet they have all of the stigmas memorized. Talking to and allowing these other family members to check on me has been helpful. I also pulled my family doctor into this mess, even though I have a script-happy psychiatrist, because I was losing my ability to advocate for myself with these treatment choices. She has been really helpful as well. I essentially begged her to help me help myself so that I don't disappear into this illness. That's always been my biggest fear, amplified by the fact I'm seeing evidence that my physical health is also crumbling under decades of bad mental health.

I was able to take my vacation while I get used to this new medication. I'm tired, loopy, indecisive, and having the weirdest dreams. One dream had a bright light in the woods, over a foggy pond, and I looked directly into it and felt super compelled to allow it to pull me in. I'm not ready though, I'm not ready to stop trying or to hand over my mental and physical health to this thing. I still want to feel the world on my skin.

#bipolar type ii #mental health #pmdd #mental illness #psychiatric hospital #tw depression #might go for a walk on this cold drizzly day #my favorite

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idle-flower · 7 months

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Dear Yuletide Author - 2023

Thank you for your time and attention, and I hope your wishes are granted this holiday season!

Likes:

I prefer plot and angst and adventure to fluff, though a nice warm fluffy scene can make a good dessert at the end of the pain and suffering. I lean more to f/f and m/f than m/m. I enjoy forbidden relationships and the agony of trying to keep one's heart secret. I love exploring the 'what if' spinoffs of a small change in a canon. I swoon for lovers who take dramatic risks to protect their loved ones. I sometimes use my blorbos as chew toys.

I also enjoy detailed description of clothing/furniture/jewelry/pretty things in general. Not just heaping up brand names, but sensory detail. Tell me what I'm looking at!

Dislikes:

Please avoid sweeping tropey AUs like 'what if noir' or 'what if everyone was in high school'. No excited rambling about pregnancy or babies. (Older kids are okay.) While I am okay with pretty dark stuff, please don't gorily torture characters to death on screen. If people gotta die, limit the icky details! I am generally not keen on crossovers. I dislike PWP unless it is exceedingly hot smut (see below). Please don't do gender swaps or secret trans characters unless I specifically mention it as an option.

Smut:

I don't require it, but I do read a good bit of filthy porn.

Kinks I find interesting: mild bdsm, pain mixed with pleasure, dubcon, sibling or cousin incest, strap-ons (for f/f not for f/m), futanari and other magical appendages (also generally for f/f, unless we're in a setting where 'man turns out to have tentacles' actually makes sense), teasing, teenagers, drugs/magic with interesting effects, people making terrible decisions due to being emotionally overwrought or really really horny, trying to stay quiet and failing, desperate urgency, pushing people up against walls

PLEASE NO: rape or painful sex that one party is not enjoying at all, inserting anything edible (licking off boobs is okay), aggressive face-fucking, choking, degradation, scat/watersports, bukkake, parental incest, anyone younger than teen, anyone being called "baby girl", emphasis on 'virgin blood' (some writers make it a huge deal with tearing pain and fountains of blood, please don't).

NOTE FOR TREATS:

Absolutely fine with people getting inspired by my ideas and doing whatever! I don't know if we have to actively say this this year but yeah if you want to have a go, sure.

Poison Ivy (1992 film)

Sylvie Cooper, Ivy

I was struggling through the confusions of puberty, Ivy was hot, this film left an impression on me. In a way trying to build any sort of happy ending for Ivy feels out of place, but on the other hand there's a lot of loose ends left after the story.

Throughout the film, there's a lot the audience never knows about Ivy, including her legal name. Did Coop know it? (Maybe, probably.) Did her father? (Quite possibly not). How do they handle all the legal responsibilities of her death? Were Ivy's stories about the aunt she was staying with true? How do they break the news? How does her funeral go?

What do Sylvie and her father have to say to each other about Ivy after the truth comes out? Does he admit everything that he did? (The movie seems to let him off way too easily by implying things are all Ivy's fault, when he ABSOLUTELY knew how wrong his actions were) How does he handle the guilt? How do they rebuild their relationship? Or, speaking of guilt, Sylvie kind-of-sort-of was responsible for Ivy's death, even if it wasn't 100% intended and she was not quite in her right mind at the time. She did push Ivy. How does she handle THAT?

What is school like, afterwards? What rumors escape? How does Coop handle them? Does this attract new weird friends? Does she adopt any of Ivy's traits as her own?

Or - what if Ivy survives the fall? Seriously injured, possibly paralysed, but alive? How do they deal with her, once the truth comes out? Do they cover up her crimes? Do they keep her in their home? What happens to their relationships?

Did Ivy ever care about Sylvie? Did she legitimately want to be friends before she started trying to seize hold of the world and the wealth that Coop lived in?

Sylvie ends up kind of pushed out of a lot of the middle of the movie so the film can spend more time perving over Ivy. More about her character and her thoughts in general would be great. We know she can be a troublemaker and a fantasist - who else has she been telling lies to? Or is the whole movie itself a lie she's telling us? And if so, what is the story behind the story?

For AUs, what would have happened if Ivy had met Coop when they were several years younger, so she couldn't get her hooks into Darryl as easily? What if they met at summer camp and Ivy was just as messed-up and needy but the situations were different? What if the movie plot is actually a fantasy younger-Ivy spins about her future to her fascinated-and-appalled friend, who then has a chance to react to it? Or what if Ivy tried to replace Sylvie rather than her mother? Or what if it's Darryl that she wants to kill, as revenge against the men who've mistreated her in her life? Or if it's Sylvie she really wants to be with, and we get some twisted bad-girls scenario where BOTH parents are conveniently disposed of so the girls can live together forever, lying to each other and the world and refusing to acknowledge the truth of what they've done?

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: I'm on board with Sylvie/Ivy sex, I don't want to have to see Ivy/Darryl in too much detail. Brief reference if necessary is okay but not a focus.

DNW: Sylvie to die, Ivy to end up with Darryl

Roseanne

Darlene Conner, David Healy, Molly Tilden

I got some lovely happy romance stories for my classic couple last year - this year I want to explore the possibilities of the love triangle.

Molly had the hots for David. David thought she was cute but was devoted to Darlene. Molly badly wanted Darlene's attention and friendship, which eventually turned into rivalry when Darlene constantly rejected her. Darlene felt threatened (but did check out Molly's chest, if just for comparison). That much is canon; it doesn't take a whole lot extra to give Molly a crush on Darlene as well and make the whole mess more complicated. Is Darlene's rejection of Molly's need for attention really so different from the way she treats David sometimes?

I generally prefer drama and angst and sticking to a fairly serious character exploration but with these three I'm also up for some Wacky and/or Sexy Shenanigans. Obviously it doesn't have to end with a happy poly trio, but I'd be tickled if it did (especially if it takes some serious work to get there. suffer first, then happiness!). Or you can whump people around a bit if it makes the angsty longing more intense. Bittersweet is fine.

Some idea seeds:

Playing With Matches, Molly kisses Darlene rather than David, Darlene panics because she doesn't want to be either a lesbian or a homophobe, David panics because he thinks this means Darlene will never really want him, Jackie overhears the wrong things and panics more, chaos ensues.

Molly runs away from home and strikes a deal to hide out in Darlene's college apartment because no one would think to look for her there. David finds out.

Molly hooks up with David after Darlene dumps him for Jimmy, everyone's bitter and angsting about what they don't have.

David and Darlene are happily married stable adults living in Chicago and publishing a comic together. They are reunited with Molly at a comics convention and she confesses that when they were teenagers she was into both of them.

All three live together and raise kids, the perils of poly parenting. Especially if the rest of the extended Conner clan keeps sticking their noses in to complain about this weird situation.

Gen ideas: the three of them at a thrift store comparing their various fashion tastes as they pick through old clothes, working on a school project and battling over its direction and political messaging, or maybe the three of them doing roleplaying together (either tabletop or LARP, the 90s is peak White Wolf era after all, imagine them in a vampire game)

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: Any combination of the three, teens or adults, is fine! No extra characters in bed though please. I have a weakness for outwardly soft and submissive boys who are much more dominant in bed, particularly if he's teased to the breaking point before pouncing and going absolutely wild (to everyone's enjoyment).

DNW: Anything from the revival/TheConners continuity. Please try not to have characters commenting on David being "emasculated" or Darlene only liking him because he's "practically a girl", the gender policing really bothers me. Don't make Jimmy actually appear because I don't want to have to think too much about that actor. Please don't make David gay even if Darlene leaves him for Molly. Don't make anyone 100% Evil.

Kushiel's Legacy

Phedre's Younger Sibling

Ever since someone mentioned it I've been intrigued by the idea of what happened to Phedre's little sister or brother, the one her mother was pregnant with when Phedre was sold to the Night Court. We know her parents probably died during the Bitterest Winter, of fever or of war, because they never tried to meet with Phedre once she was famous. But her sibling might never have even known Phedre's name or that she even existed, so they might have lived past that point without ever having a reason to contact her. What sort of life did that second child, four years younger than Phedre, have?

Phedre's coloring and defiant nature might read quite differently on a beautiful young man, a clever one with a knack for getting into trouble. Did he grow up bouncing along on slightly more successful caravans, learning scraps of Skaldi and Caerdicci as they traveled? Did he develop the business sense his father lacked? Did he beg caravan guards to teach him swordplay? Did a young love of travel combined with his parents tendency to bad fortune lead to him signing on as a sailor while he was still basically a child?

A boy might also be less likely to hear even a whisper of rumor of the lost older daughter. A boy might have been embraced as Firstborn and Heir by his father and never doubt.

A second daughter, however, one with a passing resemblance to Phedre but without Kushiel's dart and its mixed blessings, her existence might be more complicated. Looking at her might be a constant reminder of the shame of what happened with their first daughter. She might qualify for the canon of one of the Houses, but her parents might have felt themselves unable to return to the city of Elua to trade her, for fear of incurring the wrath of Cereus House. Might they have sold her somewhere else, even on the open market as a slave, as Phedre feared her fate might have been if her parents had been desperate enough? Or perhaps she was less pretty, less useful, and found herself abandoned at a temple of Naamah or Elua by her family? (We meet a Liliane at the temple where Imriel grew up and Phedre notes that was her mother's name. She seems a little bit young to be Phedre's sister but it's not impossible, and there's certainly a story in what happened to her if she is.)

But if a sister grew up looking a great deal like Phedre but without that divine spark, might she have been seized by someone precisely because of that resemblance? Someone who longed for the heroine but could not afford or entice the Comtesse de Montreve, so instead acquired their own little discount version? Or someone with a grudge against Phedre that they dared not act on, so kept a girl to punish in her place, never knowing it was actually her sister?

Or perhaps Phedre's wayward parents settled down a bit and matured and lived a respectable middle-class life outside the City of Elua, and this younger sister or brother lived a very ordinary d'Angeline life, until the Bitterest Winter. If they were sixteen and suddenly orphaned by fever, what did they do then? Take up arms to fight the Skaldi invasion? Go in search of more distant relatives? Philippe Cantrel had at least a father and two older brothers - we can assume Grandfather died and the inheriting elder brothers didn't remember Phedre's name or weren't paying enough attention to know she existed. But the child might have returned to the city seeking these uncles out of desperation. Or they might have been killed or enslaved by the Skaldi. Or all sorts of things.

I guess what I'm looking for here is a viewpoint on events within Terre d'Ange from a character who isn't important, isn't divinely touched, doesn't know exactly what all the great houses are up to, and never has any idea how closely connected they are to great events. Some dramatic irony and angst welcome. Possibly they live a short, unremarkable life and die alone. Possibly they make something of themselves, but without ever becoming rich and famous and royally connected. Whoever they are, Phedre never knows.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I have not yet read Cassiel's Servant! I may or may not have gotten to it by Christmas, and I was not taking anything in that book into account when making this request, this is a repeat from years before. I have no idea if any further light is shone on the subject, and I will likely not recognise any character from that book. If you haven't read it either, great! If you have, don't lean on it.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SMUT: go for it, just see my general smut-DNWs at the top.

DNW: Accidental incest between Phedre and her sibling. The sibling turning out to be a secret behind-the-scenes savior who was responsible for some major event in the plot. Either sibling ever figuring out that they're related.

Picnic at Hanging Rock

Hester Appleyard, Sara Waybourne

Note: I have not read the book or seen the 1975 movie, I've only seen the miniseries. You can draw ideas from other versions if you want but you'll have to explain what you're talking about or I may not get the reference.

First off, TV Sara is the cutest thing and I want to protect her (and, well, THAT obviously didn't work out). Second, I feel like the relationship between Hester and Sara is interestingly ambiguous (what isn't, in this show?). Hester seems both antagonistic and friendly to Sara in different ways, and it seems clearly suggested that she's reminded of her own orphan past. She sometimes wants to bond with her and othertimes wants to furiously reject her. She fears that Sara knows far too much, and she's tempted to tell her more.

The circumstances of Sara's death are very unclear, though we see that Hester knows something and is covering it up. What happened between them on that final night? Did Hester push Sara out in a rage? Did they struggle, up in the tower on a windy night, and a careless shove let Sara fall? Did Hester try to save her? Did Sara leap from the tower in despair? Did Sara try to climb out to escape and fall? How did Hester find out that Sara was dead, and why did she choose to deal with it in the way she did (pretending Sara had left but not disposing of the body)? What was she thinking? Or did she truly convince herself Sara had just 'disappeared' like the other girls?

So things that I'd be particularly interested in, storywise:

A depiction of the details and the drama of that final, fatal night

Any scene in which they really open up to each other and share secrets we didn't see in the series (which might or might not end with Hester threatening Sara to shut her up)

AU in which Hester adopts Sara herself and trains her to follow in her footsteps? Possibly where she uses Sara as a bridge to marry Mr Cosgrove? (Dark and mysterious things should still happen, just DIFFERENT ones)

AU in which it's Hester who falls to her death after their last confrontation in the tower. Sara lives! But she might be suspected of murder, especially if for some reason Hester named her in the will and left her the school. What happens to the school and Sara now?

Angst and drama are likely. Killing either or both characters is fine. Depictions of self-harm and child abuse consistent with the series are fine, but tag it. No sexual abuse depictions please.

Smutwise: Not with each other! In keeping with the style of the show, some light sexual scenes might work well for filling in character info (what IS hester's sexuality anyway? If Sara Lives, how does she eventually move on from Miranda?) but this is not a kink request.

DNW: Hester/Sara slash. A super-happy fix-it fic. This is a dark canon, so I'm okay with the threat of someone being pruriently interested in Sara or young Hester, but I absolutely don't want anyone to do anything sexual to Sara while she's underage. It's okay to imply that young Hester might have been molested or prostituted but I don't want to see it happen in detail.

21 Jump Street - Series

Harry Ioki

I always felt like Harry was shortchanged on the show in terms of how much screentime and attention he got. Maybe just because I thought he was gorgeous and wanted so much more. Because they showed less of him, I have fewer strong hooks to build off of for requests. I don’t really know what I want, other than an Ioki adventure during the first four seasons of the show. Some mystery, some drama, a chance for him to look cool, an excuse to dress him up nice? (Can you find an excuse to make him solve a mystery while wearing a snazzy dinner jacket, or some sort of lovingly-detailed punk getup?)

Romance-wise, I don’t want him in a full relationship with any of the main cast but I wouldn’t mind him flirting with ANY of them. I’m cool with writing an OFC for him to romance during the story, but I would prefer a reset button on that for the ending. Maybe she dies, maybe she’s the bad guy and he has to arrest her, maybe she doesn’t like it when she finds out who he really is, maybe it was just a fling, whatever. A nice poignant note to wrap up on. Given the time period and his personality, I feel like if Harry were bi, he'd be keeping it quiet, and I don't want a story that's all about the struggles of being closeted in the 80s, so if you really want to give him a boyfriend, that shouldn't be the main focus. Romance isn’t necessary either, but it’s nice to have someone to admire the boy. Even if it’s just Tom and Doug complaining that he looks better in that outfit than they would. (Background Tom/Doug bromance is fine too.)

Angst and bittersweet endings are very acceptable and common for the canon. I'd prefer at least a tiny spark of hope (for him personally even if not for the characters of the week) rather than total despair.

Please do not reference anything having to do with the movies, not even as a joke.

I'd actually prefer to skip the smut on this one and keep it in tone with what you'd see on television.

DNW: Harry sleeping with anyone in the main cast. Any main character dying. Gross-out jokes or otherwise not taking the premise of the show seriously. AIDS storylines. Any reference to the movies.

#yuletide letter #yuletide 2023

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