#NOT a Conrad defense post

[patches-and-potions]

No, I agree completely. I’m not a huge fan of writers chucking every easy “bad trait” at a character when it’s time for them to be evil. Conrad is suddenly a misogynistic, homophobic, ableist super-prick? The ableism we’ve seen before from him, but not in the way that Reality War implies.

For example: Conrad doesn’t just not think about disabled people. He actively believes that they’re stealing resources from the government and living perfectly well off. So why are they in a homeless camp in RW? Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to have homes where everything is catered to them and the other character (Kate, 15, Belinda, etc) show disdain for them/echo Conrad’s beliefs? The same way Cristofer is homophobic to 15 because of the Wish? We all know Kate would if The Giggle is any indication (that could be an interesting foil/parallel between her and Conrad).

And on the topic of homophobia and misogyny, those are two very significant traits that definitely should have come up in Lucky Day if the writers wanted us to believe that Conrad was this awful from the beginning, and not that they retroactively made him worse. He had women in his ranks in Lucky Day, he is shown to dislike Kate and Ruby because they represent authority/government control, his mum honestly validly because she was emotionally and maybe physically abusive, Shirley because she’s disabled. Hell, he immediately rolls over and works for The Rani and Mrs Flood, not a single hint of “oh I secretly think I’m better than them because they’re women and I’m gonna use them”. Even in the final scene of Lucky Day’s confrontation between him and 15, Conrad says nothing to the fact that he knows the Doctor is gay. And he said some awful things I don’t think he’d stop before homophobia if we’re setting up the homophobia bit for RW.

Anyways OP you’re right and you should say it. Conrad is just as inconsistent as every other character, and it feels like no one in the writers room ever exchanged notes or even told each other what they were going to do in their episodes.

Anyone else found Conrad Clark's character inconsistent? It doesn't feel like one continuous guy that is manipulative and lies, it literally feels like two distinct individuals. The guy in the same room with Desiderium that "just" wishes for the world to be better and gave everyone food and a family is just not the same Conrad that organized the uprising against Unit. I'm not against complex characters or manipulative ones at all (I mean. Check my fandoms) but this just feels if Satan and a damaged lil guy were smushed together into one. I found it nice when he got his happy ending because it was like if just the Good Conrad™ did, and the show made him into this sort of fragile baby deer or something. It's like his character is disconnected from himself and his own actions all at once. They needed to make him more cohesive: either make his evil side bleed through in his good moments more often, and not give him a happy ending, or do the opposite and make his good side come out more so that you can actually make him sympathetic and give him a fair positive ending.

Cause so far his character has been the spiritual successor of Hans from Frozen y'all. Just switching back and forth from spotless manipulation and pure evil to uwu I am so damaged and I have daddy issues and then evil again

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 92 (Conrad's First Love)

cw: Conrad getting pretty spicy 🌶️🌶️🌶️ and not with Heather; references to human and drug trafficking (not depicted).

Follows the events of this post.

As she passed him to put away her gloves, a stunning redhead at Pappy Murphy's Boxing Gym caught Conrad's eye. Though he'd been deep in another bout of anger and self-pity over the death of his mother years earlier, he stopped his workout. Every inch of his being compelled him to talk to her.

She turned with a smile before he could stammer a single word. "Hi, handsome. Did you want a better look?"

He nervously introduced himself and she told him her name. "Ximena." The word floated from her lips like a song. He was instantly smitten.

"Ximena, could I buy you a drink?"

They spent the day in a local pub. He told her everything about his mother's death and his distance from his father in the years since. She listened, but she had a lot less to say about herself. "I live here with my brother. I'm a student, and I'm the only caretaker he has. Our parents aren't around anymore, and it's been just Rafa and me for years."

He could hear an accent when she spoke, and most people in Britechester weren't locals, so he made an assumption. "How long since you moved from Selvadorada?"

Surprised by his guess, she turned defensive. "I don't talk about Selva."

He liked her too much to press and push her away, so they spent the rest of the day flirting and discussing their interests until Ximena invited him back to her place. "You make me laugh, Conrad Gordon. My brother's still at school and I want to get to know you better without all this noise. I hate the music they play in here."

Once Conrad followed her out of the bar and back to the small home she shared with her kid brother, Rafa, he started following her everywhere.

He lost his virginity to her a week after they met. That night, she told him why she left Selvadorada.

"I was going to die or they were going to kill me. I wouldn't let them sell me to anyone anymore, so I made a plan and left with my brother in the middle of the night to come here."

She showed him the scars left by the cartel, and a resolve to keep her safe coloured his already steadfast affection. He let her cut his hair when she said she wanted to show him how freeing it felt to change his look. "It's nice not to recognize the person in the mirror, sometimes," she said.

She told him she was a student, often meeting him at Larry's Lagoon to study but usually distracting him into other activities. One afternoon, she introduced him to an old friend, Jimmy Stefano. "Can you help him out around campus? You're in the same major."

Something about Jimmy Stefano rubbed Conrad the wrong way, but he assumed it was jealousy. Despite this, he would already do anything for Ximena and agreed to take Jimmy under his wing.

He called his father to say he planned to stay at school for Spring Break. "Sorry, I know I said I'd come home to see you."

Stephen Gordon laughed him off, but masked slight disappointment. He had no idea whether his son was flourishing or floundering at college, unsure how he'd been coping so far from home. "Don't worry, son. I'm just glad you sound happy. You're making me and your mother proud."

He skipped classes to spend time with Ximena, but made no mention of this to his father, of course. He spent time with Rafa when Ximena said she had late-night classes, taking him to the park to play pirate captain versus sea monster, and talking endlessly with him about video games.

Rafa wanted to become a pirate captain in Sulani or a game tester in San Myshuno. He had almost no memory of life in Selva before his sister left, but he knew it was "the bad place." He liked spending time with Conrad because he said his sister was too strict. "She just loves you," Conrad assured him. "Parents have to set rules, and she can't just be your sister. She has to care for you like a parent, too."

He realized then how important it was to be a model for Rafa, who needed guidance as much as anyone his age. Conrad had always had his father, but who did Rafa have besides Ximena?

Conrad discovered how she paid for an entire house for her and her brother by accident, stumbling on an argument between her and Jimmy Stefano near the campus fountain. "The deal was thirty pounds for three grand."

"They said if I didn't have five grand they'd only give me fifteen. They had guns, Ximena."

"They all have guns! Knives, too. Get your own and figure out how to use it. Watcher, please, don't screw this deal up for me, Jimmy."

"Who has guns?"

"The cartel," said Jimmy, so nonchalant, yet it still hit Conrad like a missile. His stomach turned as he read Ximena's expression. Every lie she'd told him unravelled with a look.

"Are you really a student here, Ximena?"

"No. They're my customers."

He'd had his suspicions, but he'd always told himself he was wrong. Ximena was supposed to be perfect. Hoping against hope, he still tried to play the fool. "What do you mean?"

She dragged him back home to tell him the truth - how she'd bargained with the cartel to escape a life of servitude to the men who ran product all over Simlandia. She refused to serve them, but her way out was to join them instead.

Conrad was angry, but he couldn't stay mad at her for long. As they lay in bed that night, she asked, "Are you going to break up with me because of what I do?"

"Not a chance. I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiled, resting her head on his chest as he ran a hand through her newly blonde hair. "You look nice without glasses, Conrad."

"You already gave me a haircut, Xime. You don't like glasses?"

"Conrad, you're very sexy. But you hide it and it's silly."

"If you're going to give me a makeover, what should I get you?"

"Are you asking me?"

"Ximena, I want to give you everything you could ever want."

She blushed. "I want you, Conrad. But since I already have you, maybe...jewelry? Like a ring."

"You don't wear any rings."

"Because none are special enough, Conrad."

He smiled. "Alright, that's one idea. But say I wanted to surprise you, what else did you want?"

"You could join me running product for the cartel. Our lives would be made, and we'd always be together."

"I don't want to run product for the cartel, Ximena. But I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be there for you. Rafa, too."

"Right, but what if I go? Rafa loves you, Conrad, almost as much as me. But what if the cartel moved me somewhere else? Would you come with me? Maybe you could be, like, my security. No running, just keeping me safe. Always with me and Rafa."

He'd do anything to protect her, but he didn't answer her that day, refocusing on his studies until he returned to San Myshuno at the end of the semester.

He'd missed his father more than he expected, and they went for walks in warm sunshine by the Spice Market. They talked about school, and Conrad talked about Ximena - leaving out details of her career and focusing instead on her relationship with her brother. Conrad rarely asked his father about work, but Stephen hinted he was inching closer to retirement. "Chester's daughter Nancy is ready to take over the company, but Chester's not quite ready to retire. I think she's plotting a coup, but you didn't hear that from me."

"What happens to you if she pushes out her own father?"

"Hopefully, a retirement package. Chester may not be ready, but I think I am."

On one of their walks, they passed a jewelry store, and Conrad made a beeline for the ring counter. A confident salesman smiled as the Gordon men walked inside. "Welcome. What are we shopping for today?"

"I'm just looking," Conrad said. "What rings do you have?"

The salesman beamed. "Are we thinking of an engagement?"

Stephen eyed his son carefully, but Conrad shook his head. "Not right now. Just like, for an accessory."

"I don't know, son. A ring says you're ready for forever."

Conrad took his father's words to heart, considering what forever with Ximena might look like. He wanted to be with her, but he wasn't ready for a ring. He left that day with a nice bracelet for her, instead.

"Even leaving with a bracelet as nice as that one...she must mean something. I'd love to meet her."

Conrad nodded. "She might be able to visit this summer, if she's not too busy with work," he said.

Stephen smiled and the Gordon men continued their walk, strengthening the bond nearly severed by grief before Conrad returned to Britechester for another semester. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOT FUN FACT: Conrad got crab lice from Ximena when they slept together for the first time, which is gross but also fitting I guess. And yet I didn't make it canon because it didn't quite fit the vibe. Plus, he wasn't supposed to find out that early on that Ximena was problematic.

WCIF Poses Used? Various from packs Old Souls Love Differently by @simmireen (when Ximena is blonde), Our First Time by @eclypt0sims (redhead), The Kiss by @simmerberlin (black hair) and Nights Like These by @sakurasims-world (also redhead).

WCIF Jewelry Store? Jewelry Store by Guinifere on the Sims 4 Gallery. Very elegant interior and comes with crafting tables, a vault, charging stations - very nice lot! Needs dressing up with completed jewelry on the counters and in displays to look really spectacular (and I of course went the lazy route), but I wouldn't if I was playing a retail career, and this is a great lot for someone who wants to be a jeweler!

[offender42085]

Post 1408

Conrad Mark Truman, Utah County Utah inmate 341364, born 1982, incarceration intake 2014 at age 33, sentenced to 15 years, retried and acquitted in February 2017, and released

Murder

In February 2017, the second murder trial of Conrad Truman ended very differently from the first. “We find the defendant not guilty,” the jury foreperson said, drawing an audible gasp from someone in attendance.

Following the gasp, the Judge said: “Alright. You’re out of here madam,” and then he further uttered, “You’ll leave.”

In both trials, the prosecution claimed Truman shot his wife Heidy in the head after a night of drinking and arguing on September 30th, 2012. The defense maintained Heidy shot herself. The case hinged on how far she could have walked after that fatal wound. The distance between the site of the shot and where the body was found was actually less than presented at the first trial.

“We think the outcome of the first trial in this case was impacted by some of the faulty evidence we uncovered,” the defense attorney told reporters. “It’s hard to say what the jury focused on specifically but those measurements inside that house had a big deal to do with it…What people need to understand is Conrad Truman has been incarcerated since July of 2013 for a crime that he did not commit. This day has been long in coming. He has endured incredible hardship over that period of time. He has spent time in prison. When he got a new trial he was brought back to the Utah County Jail and he has been there ever since he was returned. This has been a huge, huge victory for him and for his family.”

Following his 2014 conviction Truman had been sentenced to 15 years to life in the state prison.

In August 2019, Truman lost his civil lawsuit against Orem City police and prosecutors involved in the case. 

Truman claims said he was wrongfully incarcerated, wrongfully interrogated, that his statements were obtained illegally, that the evidence submitted was falsified, he was subject to “malicious prosecution,” and had an unfair trial, documents state.

A federal Judge dismissed Truman’ case after saying there was no evidence where any reasonable jury could conclude the police or prosecutors made up or withheld evidence during his first trial.

Truman claimed the probable cause statement was based solely upon the tainted and falsified information by police. 

“The court has reviewed the affidavits and warrants issued by other judges in this matter, and sees no reason the warrants were not supported by affidavits showing probable cause,” stated the court documents. “There were enough facts presented to show such things as a defendant covered in blood, from the alleged victim in the area where the defendant claims the sound of the pop came from, the defendant making threats, being evasive about a handgun and other details, the defendant making admissions and inconsistent statement, created probable cause a criminal homicide has been committed by the defendant.”

As far as the medical examiner who had originally ruled Heidy’s death as homicide then later changed to inconclusive, the court said there was nothing indicating the first ruling was intentionally falsified.

5y

[patches-and-potions]

anyone want to hear about my cursed timeline Kate AU where the Daleks invade Earth and everything is fucked? Kind of jumping off from my previous post about a nuwho take on Inferno (3+Liz era story)

no? Too bad.

The world:

Earth, circa ‘73, the Daleks invaded and turned the entirety of the human population into a labor force, turning Earth into a construction planet for their galaxy-conquering weapons and ships, the Doctor was killed/imprisoned on Gallifrey in the War Games instead of being banished to Earth

Around ‘97, the Daleks find a better planet, abandoning Earth after killing nearly 6 billion people. Earth is left a dystopian hell world, new unstable governments popping up all the time and prominent gangs controlling what’s left of the continent (the Daleks recreated Pangea for more convenient world domination, the tectonic shift is was originally killed half the world’s population.)

UNIT is reformed in response to people finding out how to utilize leftover Dalek tech to build weapons and dangerous equipment, which has led to more gang warfare. Unfortunately, it lacks the strength and resources it once had, so has begun to rely on shady tactics to gain power. There is constantly fighting in the ranks, and it becomes known for being the most vicious and power hungry gang of them all

Kate:

Katherine Lethbridge-Stewart, better known to her subordinates as Erin Lethbridge-Stewart. She kept her father’s name from the beginning of her career to legitimize her claim to UNIT leadership. She goes by Erin because it’s not as friendly-sounding as Kate, nor as long as Katherine. (sorry Erins of the world for calling your name unfriendly. I have my reasons for disliking the name but I shan’t overshare on Tumblr. Not today, anyways)

Erin is known as a harsh, authoritarian commander, who rules with a repertoire of cruel discipline and zero second chances, even for her closest friends. Hair-trigger temper, do not piss this woman off if you value your life. She’s long since sacrificed her morals to keep her authority, in a twisted idea of protecting her loved ones. Essentially canon!Kate if she let the Shreek eat Conrad instead of just biting him

She despises aliens, and has a shoot on sight rule for any non-human beings that get too close to UNIT HQ. That being said, she despises the Doctor most of all. Alistair raised her with the hope that the Doctor would come and save them, but seeing as that never happened, her resentment became hatred and disgust

She’s also not dissimilar to the Rani, and UNIT does have many unethical experimentation programs led by Erin herself. Her new goal is to enhance humanity’s defenses and the human body itself, in case of another alien invasion

Really messy doodle of how I imagine her looking (done digitally how exciting)

Her hair is her natural chestnut-ish brown, and is visibly greying in streaks. Ponytail because I think it’s cute, for her it’s easier to keep out of her face. She’s a bit too vain to chop it shorter than her chin even though she could totally pull off a pixie cut

Obviously she has glasses I’m a woman of taste. She’s tried several times to perform laser eye surgery on herself but she always immediately strains them before she can recover, so she’s permanently fucked up her eyesight

Human technology kind of stagnated and progressed at the same time in a paradoxical sort of way, which is why UNIT still wears their old green uniforms (also it’s a damn shame we never see canon!Kate in a UNIT beret and fatigues)

Vampire pale due to stress, both mentally and due to her constantly putting her body through experiments to see how much of the human genome she can tweak before it starts shutting down

She has a massive burn scar over her stomach from a repurposed-by-human-gangs Dalek phaser. It shot a hole through her and she has serious PTSD. She is easily triggered by sudden bright lights because of it

Up to viewer interpretation if it’s a mole or a piercing on her upper lip. Personally I am a got-a-tongue-piercing-in-uni-that-she-regrets-but-still-kept Kate truther, do with that as you will

(also if anyone is interested, I’m taking the advice of a friend and might start writing x reader fics for Kate. My asks and dms are always open for requests. I haven’t made a rules/limits post yet so just ask if you’re unsure! <3 Might dust off my AO3 account as well)

[ultraviolet-cello]

Good afternoon everyone, late analysis/detail watch for @tristampparty today! Had a busy day and I am ready to chill out by being so so normal about Trigun ^_^

Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trimax, CW for me discussing/theorizing abt Vash's injuries + discussion of harm coming to children specifically!

Roberto is my old man blorbo (he is not that old) and I essayed Hard about him today, good luck reading!

So when I originally watched this episode when I saw the tower I was like oh flying saucer haha!

and then it is a flying saucer. I hate that (/j)

the bugs under the rock when I lift it up:

On a more serious note I do like the transition from Wolfwood getting REALLY jumpy (to the point of like. Punching Vash for sneezing. babygirl there are better ways to cope with bringing the man you adore to what is probably his doo- actually there probably isn't, he's on his own) to them working extremely in sync to try and get away from the guards - even in the two months that they've been traveling together they've developed that back to back fighting style. It's very sweet, and I think that aspect of them is heavily emphasized in 98 actually, episode 9 when Wolfwood first appears. I really do miss that episode's story, I think it's my favourite standalone plot :]

Again take this with a grain of salt because my subtitles are Janky, but this line hits me real hard [Where Vash is telling Wolfwood not to shoot at the July guards]. They're at July, this is where Wolfwood needs to hand Vash over despite all his inner conflict; but he values the orphanage, it's so important to him. Would the morally righteous thing to do be trying to fight alongside Vash out of this? Possibly. But the risk is too great; It's not the time to be a saint.

Both of their expressions here - Wolfwood stepping back then forward to try and push Vash out the way, or block the bullet, and Vash just slowly lowering his arms with that real haunted look.

Studio Orange once again knocking it out of the PARK with their facial expressions

[Purging the Vashwood from my system for just a moment] He really does just. Grab him around the waist huh. He doesn't try to spin Vash around to assess the damage, or immediately drag him away, but most importantly he doesn't shoot back. Not after Vash asked him to.

Why's this bitch not clean his table!!! The hell!!! Unsanitary. Or... Or someone was just there. Not sure what's worse at that point. It's also that the shape of that cross is also to accommodate children

[Tucking these screenshots into my purse for safekeeping] [Also CWing this section for a little bit of injury discussion] Most of the injuries here aren't necessarily the scars that Trimax and 98 Vash have, which makes me wonder if he's going to get more post-July. In any case, a lot of these look like failed/only partial skin grafts or wounds that required skin grafts but did not get it [Just trust me on that, don't look it up if you can't stomach gore].

I wonder if Vash can't receive skin grafts due to the sheer amount of scarring/can't receive any donated grafts due to differences in biology, or if he's just... not been able to get them healed. Some of it appears to be patched up with metal, but the rest of it.... Mm.

Anyway!

I think it's very telling that the thing that Roberto starts really speaking up on is challenging Conrad on his treatment of orphans and disadvantaged people. Roberto's a reporter, so of course he's going to have seen how powerful people often use the marginalized as their playthings; and Roberto does have a pretttty good moral code when it comes to it. Time and time again he's chosen to help Meryl instead of preserve his own life.

And now he's actively taking Meryl's side, challenging Conrad, sticking up for people, which. One of the first hints of Roberto that we got that wasn't him being so gruff was his defense of Vash (who was getting the shit beaten out of him) in the very first episode.

I've talked at length abt how children are. Kind of the most precious thing to most people on Gunsmoke/NML - so many of the individual stories revolve around parents and children, brothers, siblings, Wolfwood and Hopeland, Legato sparing all the children in that village in 98, Elendira leaving a gaggle of children alive to bury Livio in Trimax. I particularly remember a scene in Trimax volume 14, chapter 3, when the feathers are falling and a young girl has lost her mother, but these big rough and tough men guide her back. I think that's kind of the essence of what Roberto represents to me.

The average person on that planet is rough, traumatized, probably knows how to shoot, they kill each other, they rob, they steal. And yet when it comes down to a little girl crying in the crowd, they will guide her back to her mother. Noman's Land is made up of families; they hurt each other and they commit atrocities, but at the end of the day, that was someone's child, and people try to respect it.

Roberto has a bit of a stronger ethical streak, but he's really kinda hostile to Conrad in this scene (GET HIS ASS ROBERTO WOOO!!!) and I think when he saw children involved that really signaled part of it to him.

It's also that Roberto has developed as a character, being more open and trusting of Meryl, but I also just. The family thing gets me every time (I think it's because I work with children and am a huge advocate for said children, but. yaknow)

[Pointing at him] I love this guy!!! I miss him!!! I really really thought I was gonna hate him but every rewatch i get sadder that he's gone!!!!!

Also he calls out Conrad on being non-empathetic towards, well experimenting on children which is yeah!!! shit!!! Roberto shuts him down like 3 times!! "What matters is how you feel with these children in front of you" GET! HIS! ASS!

Roberto has progressed so so much, with his ability to actually insert himself into situations according to his opinions and ethics, with his relationship to Meryl becoming softer, and then he's just,,, Gone, soon.

On a lighter note, tf you mean Elendira's powers are equivalent to a supply door Conrad she can kill a man!!! I spose a supply door can also kill a man but like. I wonder if she's gonna get. Bigger nails. More powers in the future.

Also a nice parallel of how Roberto kept dragging Meryl back and flinging her away from danger, but now he's grabbed her and is carrying her with him - it feels different. He really really does care about her and it's so evident in these last couple of episodes.

Also Meryl is just pick up-able what can I say.

Roberto being shocked at his ability to deflect Elendira's nails just feels kinda cruel. Man's been spending the entire anime facing horrors beyond his comprehension and he just figured out he can fight against this one, but in the end she's the one who gets him.

Also I talked about Roberto being really standoffish when he realizes children are being harmed? Uh, that's probably what gets him killed. If he'd have shot Elendira here, there is a decent chance he would have lived; if he hadn't hesitated the several times he did, he wouldn't be so rattled. That's... Painful.

"That was close" I hate everyone here [/j]

Not an unpopular opinion, but I'm not a super fan of what they did to Elendira. I'm of the opinion of her character divorced from her Trimax counterpart is really really interesting, but I have to treat her like an entirely different character, so we'll be moving on with that in mind.

So Elendira's been like this for what, twenty years at least? That doesn't seem to line up with how Plants age - Vash and Knives take like 5 years to look like they're fifteen, and. I hope we all know that humans typically take 18-20 years to reach adulthood lmao.

My three theories on why she hasn't aged is that

A) Whichever Plant cells (Probably Tesla's) that they used on her is inhibiting her growth, disallowing her from progressing past a certain point. Perhaps if she ages more something... Bad will happen to her body. Sub-idea, if it is Tesla's cells, they might not be letting her age past the point Tesla was when she died. Which is a little horrific actually.

B) Conrad and/or Knives are the ones not allowing her to grow, for some reason. I don't really have any ideas of what.

But it seems to me that she is somewhat inverse to Wolfwood; she's been living for at least twenty years, trapped in the mind and body of a child. She speaks with the cadence and articulation of an adult most of the time, but her body's pain tolerance and her subsequent reactions are that of an undeveloped mind/body.

That or she just doesn't wanna go through puberty because she's already trans and just doesn't wanna deal with that shit (valid) but, yaknow. I am a very big supporter of "Let Studio Orange cook, they've done pretty good so far!" but Elendira and Razlo are the two I am. Most scared of seeing how they turn out lmao, and even with Razlo I do have some hopes. But Elendira,,, man. I dunno.

Hooo boy. Okay. I'm ready to talk about Roberto again now. I've been talking about how he recently seems to have softened his demeanor specifically towards Meryl, bringing out a lot of that joking tone, but here is particularly on display.

He tells Meryl that it's okay to run away sometimes and that really really. Got to me. Like he wants her to live. He wants her to do whatever she thinks is right, and he wants her to live, and he is going to do what he can in his dying moments to make that better for her.

I miss him :(

I also wonder if he had anything outside of his job. Friends? Family? A partner? Or was he mostly obliterated along with most of July, kept only in memory by his, now Meryl's, derringer?

Also Vash does Not know that Roberto is dead and if he asks about him post-rejoining the gang in season 2 I'll start screaming.

Oh Knives is here! Yippee!!

So uh. The thing with him saying this is, like a Lot of things Knives does/says in Tristamp, is rooted in truth to some degree.

Like uh. Yeah. That is kind of the basis for a Major part of Vash's personality, the guilt complex of Knives shifting the burden and (honestly projecting a lot of his own guilt probably) onto Vash. But to attribute All of Vash's character to just that is disservice, and horrible for Vash to hear.

The thing about Vash is that he tries. He tries so so hard to make things right, even despite the harm that comes to him and the grief and pain of how he lives his life. Even if it were just his guilt, that is still 150 or so years of healing plants, helping children, going from town to town to do what good he can.

Love, in that case, is not inherent, but created. It's hard to just unconditionally love something just because it's in your life, but if you work at it, dedicate yourself, put in the effort, do so much good, then is that not love in itself? Does it really matter the basis if you love, regardless?

Where it becomes a problem with Vash, is when he refuses to kind of,,, accept that he worked for it instead of just having that love inherent to him, because he's so desperate to hold that guilt complex, that "I'm a bad person" close to him

I dunno, I'm autistic, so maybe I have a strange reading of this because I personally have had to work towards the things I hold dear to me, but it's,,, definitely a facet of Vash, to me.

I Do Not Like This Photograph. In Trimax, it seems they took Tesla and Immediately began experimenting on her - Some arguments over ethics with Rem, yeah, but overall the dissenters were overruled. But why have this picture? Tesla is clearly not a baby in this image. Did she have more contact and interactions with the scientists?

The cruelty in Tesla's story, at least in my view, is that she never got to be a character. Her agency was stripped from her by scientists, by death, and then by Knives. We don't know shit about her - did she die cursing all of humanity? Would she have agreed with Knives, that the pain inflicted on her was an example of the great atrocity of humanity? Or would she have decided people can grow and change, that she just got a bad lot, that people are messy and complicated but ultimately capable of love? Did she see Rem, and wonder if she knew humanity better than Tesla did?

We just don't know - will never know - and that's why Knives using her as an excuse for his actions is particularly egregious. Did her death traumatize him and irreparably damage his trust of humans, sending him down a spiral he was too unlucky to fight his way out of? Yes. Does that make it justifiable to try and commit a genocide under her name, assuming she would have wanted that even if there's a possibility she didn't? ....Definitely not.

millions-dykes referred to Conrad as looking "DILFy" in this scene and if I have to suffer that, so do you. sorry

There's a couple of bits of language in that ending scene that I find particularly uh. Interesting (derogatory) (deeply interesting and analysis-worthy), but I'll be saving those for next episode so I'll pop them in there :]

Today was a hell of an essay! Thanks for reading as always, I'm so >:3 about all the fun comments and ideas ppl have added on.

[fujouppy]

do you have ocs and if you do what are their lore?

oh im such an ocs guy all i do is make ocs. i dont post any original content about them (guy who is so horribly shy) but i do keep tags full of posts that remind me of all the separate stories ive got up in my head 👍

for roughly a month ive been slowwwly developing a scifi story called starthings but its in super early development so i dont wanna talk about it... ive also got a vague idea for an rpg called angel princess but its even less developed than starthings so i dont really wanna talk about it either! ive also got fandom ocs & even full stories taking place in universes from stuff i enjoyed . like my vld sequel (currently titled changing of the guard but idk if i wanna call it that cause voltron proper already has an episode with the same name... so its a bit stupid) or my 18th century poland inspired genshin region (currently named onegdaj but it might change too). except those two things arent entirely mine by virtue of taking place in someone elses worlds so i dont really wanna talk about them either..!!! (also they dont really build on either canons themes & mostly just do their own thing. so they suck a little bit !)

which leaves us with [drumroll] ... voidverse. which is Technically a fandom insert story too as it takes place in homestucks universe but we will disregard that. its main character (void) has been on my mind since i was 11-12 & shes just never left </3 ever </3 explaining all her lore would take a while but in summary shes the only survivor of her session (that she was not meant to join, and that she did Not join in its alpha timeline. her sburb experience was very glitchy and awful because of it) (this makes her the only void ever btw. she doesnt have any other alternate selves) who made some friends out in paradox space & became these like. freelance sburb session debuggers with? as in they located seemingly doomed sessions during their travels & helped Undoom them. it was all a lot of very anti-skaia / anti-fate stuff. they eventually picked a fight with lord english which only she survived so she returned to being . completely alone.

by that point she kinda gave up on trying to be happy and having friends & decided to dedicate her time to poking at prodding at the furthest ring to try and figure out what this place thats screwed her over twice even is exactly. this process involves a whole lot of killing horrorterrors and expanding the cracks in the nothingness of the furthest ring & she does this with the help of . many many people who all mostly died. but her latest helper is elijah and hes still kicking! hes a prince of void (a prince is an active destroyer class and the aspect of void relates to nothingness & mysteries & all that nice stuff.) (funnily enough despite her name void isnt actually a void player! shes space-bound :-) ). she also hangs out with this guy named conrad (i named myself after him!) who is the guy from her sburb session that. um. killed everyone basically. lol. shes not even that mad at him over it though cause she didnt like any of those people... but he wasnt supposed to die ! they were supposed to go to the new universe together & it was gonna be sooo romantic & everything. but he went and fucked it all up !!! what an awful guy.

the whole story is veryyy convoluted & i do realize that by shortening it so much ive made it sound really fucking stupid at times but in my defense i . um . started writing voidverse at the age of 12... so making sense of it is very very hard (though it did go through a huge overhaul sometime in 2023).

but anyway. ty for the ask! heres a doodle of void from my polish notebook!

[phoenix-downer]

Just This Once (for Vash/Meryl Week 2023)

~2340 words. Vash/Meryl. Set post season 1 of Trigun Stampede, but draws elements from Trimax as well as the 1998 anime to inform some worldbuilding elements and Vash's motivations. Scars, Light Blood, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Fluff, Mutual Pining. For VashMeryl Week 2023 Day 1: Indirect Kiss.

Summary: Vash patches himself up after a fight and Meryl offers to help. In spite of vowing to never become romantically involved with anyone, he finds himself drawn to her all the same.

Just This Once

Vash was used to people acting like his body was a scientific curiosity, a freakshow, or something to be pitied thanks to all the scars. It was why he covered up and hid that he was an Independent whenever possible.

The stares, the looks of horror, the repulsion, the lack of understanding…he’d seen it all and then some. To the people of this planet, his body did things it wasn’t “supposed” to do, which made them freak out and reject him more often than not. And sticking to his way of life came at a cost. His face might look like he hadn’t aged a bit, but his body was a testament to the years he’d spent on Noman’s Land.

Yeah, he could heal himself like Nai did, but it didn’t feel right. It would be like forgetting all the things that had led to those injuries, those scars. And healing himself would drain his life when he’d rather use his abilities to help others.

He sighed and carefully dug the latest addition to his body out of his side: a bullet from yet another scared person who’d fired his gun prematurely. Rem thought he and Nai were angels sent by God to help humanity. Going by that copy of the Bible Nai had found in the ship, Vash guessed it wasn’t surprising that people tended to freak out when they saw him and Nai. Angels sure seemed like terrifying beings with way more wings than what humans were comfortable with.

He set the bloody bullet on the banged-up bedside table next to him and reached for the bandages he kept in his gear. He’d gotten used to patching himself up the old-fashioned way, and the process was rote and mechanical at this point.

But then his routine was interrupted by a knock on the dingy hotel room door. He hesitated. It was probably a friend because an enemy would’ve just barged in.

“Who is it?” he asked, just to be safe.

“Vash? Are you alright?”

Meryl. What was it about her that wormed its way beneath his defenses? Was it her dogged pursuit of the truth? Her determination to do the right thing, even when it cost her? How she hadn’t judged him when she’d stumbled upon him using his powers, just given him a look of awe and wonder when so many people would’ve stared at him in fear and revulsion and hatred?

Or was it because she’d rescued him back in July? He’d heard her voice calling out to him, and it had pulled him out of Nai’s illusion and snapped him back to his senses. Something about that, something about how weak and powerless she was in comparison to him and Nai and even Doctor Conrad, and yet had been the bravest of them all, staying and fighting for him every way she could despite the risk to her own life—

No. He’d vowed to himself years and years ago to never get involved in any romantic entanglements. That would only end in heartbreak, for him and for her.

“I’m fine,” he replied. “Just patching myself up after that fight earlier.”

“Can I come in?”

He hesitated. He didn’t want her to see him like this, but it would be nice to have someone help with stitching up the wound. He was such a baby about that kind of thing still, and it hurt like hell to do it himself. He’d done it countless times because he had to, but if Meryl was offering…

Plus, maybe this would get her to give up on trying for a romantic relationship with him. No woman would want to be with a freak like him. Seeing his body would repulse Meryl and keep her away. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about breaking her heart.

“Yeah,” he finally said, “but I have to warn you, it’s not a pretty sight—”

The door opened, and Meryl was standing there, wearing a tanktop and sweatpants, her hair damp. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open as she took in his scar-riddled torso. The telltale look of horror and revulsion was written all over her face.

Vash chuckled darkly. This was working out exactly as he wanted it to. He would be an object of pity and loathing to Meryl now, but not of attraction or worse, love. “See? What did I tell you?”

She clasped a hand over her mouth, her eyes shimmering with tears. “Oh Vash…I had no idea…”

“Sticking to my ideals comes at a cost,” he said, wincing as he pressed the bandage against the bloody wound.

She rushed over, the door slamming behind her. “Here, let me help,” she said as she sat on the bed next to him, her gentle hands taking over. He tried to ignore how nice it felt when her fingers brushed against his, how good and healing her touch was on his injured side as she carefully cleaned the wound.

“How’d you get so good at this? Were you a doctor in another life?” he asked, half joking, half serious. If he could act like this was just her being good at patching people up in general and had nothing to do with him, then he could pretend his reaction to her had nothing to do with her.

If he couldn’t fool himself, he could at least try to fool her.

“My father’s a doctor, actually,” was Meryl’s reply. She reached for the needle and thread he’d set out. “I always kind of blew him off when he tried to get me to learn more than just basic first aid because I wanted to be a reporter instead, but after July…well, I took his advice a lot more seriously.”

Her lips pulled into a taut line and her eyes were hard. Vash’s heart felt heavy. She still blamed herself for Roberto’s death, didn’t she?

“And your mom?” Vash asked, trying to get her mind off of that.

“She’s my hometown’s schoolteacher…and sheriff.” Meryl carefully threaded the needle and examined his wound as if she were calculating how much thread would be needed to stitch him up.

“So that’s why you’re so tough.” Vash regretted the words as soon as he said them. He was supposed to push her away, not flirt with her.

Meryl chuckled. “Hardly. I was so sheltered, so naive. My family’s status protected me and my town was peaceful. I knew how to shoot a gun and how to handle basic first aid, sure, my parents made sure of that. But I never really had to use those skills until I became a reporter.”

“You don’t have to live like this, you know. You could go back home and live out your days peacefully with your family.” It was an option Vash didn’t have so long as Nai was alive, and he envied Meryl for it.

“What kind of person would I be if I knew what was happening on this planet and did nothing about it?” she said. She smiled ruefully. “I know I’m small and weak compared to the people you’re up against, but I can’t just stand by and do nothing. It wouldn’t be right.”

Vash just stared at her. She said she was small and weak, and yet she had more courage and inner strength in a single moment than most people do in an entire lifetime. Rescuing him back in July was proof enough of that.

“Hold still, this is going to hurt,” she said, and he braced himself. A moment later the needle pierced his skin, and he winced and bit his lip, clutching the old faded blanket on the bed.

Meryl worked quickly and methodically, sewing together the torn skin as if she were simply repairing a ripped jacket or mending a hole in a pair of pants. The blood and the scars all over his body hardly seemed to faze her now. When she was done, she carefully wrapped fresh bandages around the wound. He avoided her eyes because he was worried she’d see just how vulnerable this was making him feel. Touched and taken care of instead of shot at and slapped, punched and pierced, hated and harassed.

She was getting under his skin more than he cared to admit. Was he that starved for love and physical affection?

“If you’d like…I can come in tomorrow morning to put on fresh bandages,” she said softly, her hand lingering on his chest. “I know it’s tricky to change out bandages like these by yourself. Plus I want to make sure the wound doesn’t get infected as it heals.”

What should he say? No? But then who else would do it? Wolfwood’s body did that quick healing thing thanks to his experimentation, so Vash wasn’t sure if he knew how to help patch someone up the normal way, and Milly he didn’t feel comfortable enough around yet to ask for this kind of thing. She was a nice girl, sure, but—

I want it to be Meryl, don’t I? The insight cut through his meandering thoughts like a bullet grazing past his head. This was going down a dangerous path, but a part of him was tempted to say forget it all. Forget it all and let me have just a few decades with someone who cares about me and who I…who I…

“Thank you Meryl, that would be nice,” he said. Meryl was just one person in a long line of people he cared about. That was all. And saying no would hurt her feelings and leave him with the issue of “who else can I ask to do this.”

Still, he couldn’t let her get too close. Nai already despised her in a way that made Vash fear for her life. Despised her the way he despised Rem and Luida for “taking my brother away from me.” So he had to keep her at arm’s length. He had to.

Meryl smiled.

He didn’t want to.

She ducked her head, her cheeks flushing as she tucked a strand of damp hair behind her ear. “Vash, if you don’t mind, there’s one more thing I’d like to do before I go back to my room.”

“What’s that?” he asked, the possibilities raging through his mind right now not at all things he should be saying out loud.

“Oh, just a silly little thing humans do to make an injury feel better. I can’t say it does anything from a medical standpoint, unless we’re counting placebo effects of course, but it’s good for the heart.”

“Oh, um, sure—”

She leaned close and gently kissed the bandages covering the wound. He froze. Sure, it was an indirect kiss because she’d kissed the bandages instead of his actual skin, but still. She’d kissed him. Meryl had looked at his body, horrible and grotesque and littered with scars and old wounds, and thought it deserved to be kissed. And even though her kiss was chaste and sweet, it still felt pretty damn good.

Shit. This was bad. This was really, really bad. He was gonna fall for her at this rate. No, that was a lie. He already had. He had fallen for her ages ago and had just been deceiving himself about it ever since.

And what was worse was that she had feelings for him too. How was he supposed to keep her safe now? She wasn’t gonna leave on her own, and he didn’t want to break her heart to get her to leave. But if Nai suspected just how deep his feelings for her ran, if Nai ever found out—

Meryl leaned back. “There, to make it feel better,” she said softly. She smiled at him again, then stood and carefully cleaned up the supplies they’d used to patch him up.

He was silent. She had no idea how much better he felt. Better and worse at the same time. He couldn’t enjoy what had happened this evening because the fear that Nai would hurt her was always there, lurking at the back of his mind. The fear he would outlive her screamed at him not to get involved. But he already was involved. There was no putting that cat back in the bag, and tonight made that very clear.

“Goodnight, Vash,” Meryl said at last. She was at the door now with her hand on the handle, and she seemed a little wistful.

“Goodnight, Meryl.” He could manage that, at least.

Silence settled over the room for a few moments, then at last she said, “I know you’re probably self-conscious about how you look, but I don’t think you should be. Those scars just show the lengths you’ve gone to save people. They’re nothing to be ashamed of.”

So his plan had backfired on him harder than he could’ve ever imagined. Meryl, instead of being repulsed by him, was more drawn to him than ever. He was more drawn to her too. She accepted him as he was instead of treating him like he was some repulsive monster. It was hard not to be drawn to someone like that after everything he’d been through.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said at last, allowing himself a small smile. “Thank you.”

She returned the smile, and with that, she was gone.

Vash leaned back against the bed and sighed. He was both relieved he was alone and wished she’d stayed. What a mess. He wasn’t sure how he was gonna get himself out of this one.

Well, he could worry about that tomorrow. For one night at least he’d let himself enjoy whatever it was that was happening between him and Meryl. The plotting and scheming about how best to keep his distance and protect her could come in the morning. Right now he was injured and vulnerable and just for tonight, just this once, he wanted to enjoy a little comfort from someone who loved and accepted him as he was.

Would that really be so wrong?

[furiousflirt]

Wait, what are whittys creators boundaries?

Ik that post was a bit ago sorry

Oh man... I've been wanting to talk about this topic anyways so...

In case you won't read the full text: The boundaries are do not selfship with him.

Now for the longer version: I wouldn't know Sock.clip's recent boundaries because I've been blocked by her since 2023!

And don't get me wrong, I totally deserved that. But before I get on this topic too, I should leave the PSA that in 2021, I did reach Sock to ask about permission to selfship with Whitty, which was granted at the time.

Though time passed, and Sock started to update her bio to say if you ship with her OCs, or ship her OCs overall, you will be blocked. I did get blocked after posting an infamous cover video of Updike and Conrad (my swap whitty for those unaware) singing a Baddies song, but I was stupid and continued to selfship with Whitty 'till November 2024 like a fool. In my defense, I really had an hyperfixation on him due to my autism, and it was thanks to mid fight masses that I was able to stop in first place.

The last time I was able to check Sock's bio, she no longer did say about the block, and I thought things were chill until I noticed I was blocked by nat8animate (developer of the Whitty's mod, and also her closest friend - often being the one to give the news in Whitty related stuff regarding mods) in bluesky without never interacting with him o-O (bsky blocks are public so I was just checking my blocks for fun)

Nate didn't have any other fan blocked besides me and my very close friend at the time (this was 2024 ok) so I assume they probably recognised my user or something? Needless to say, I'm glad I was able to quit my selfship with Whitty once for all, and move on from the fandom overall.

I will still probably make normal art of Whitty, but honestly? I will stick to my OCs. (If anyone is curious I have also renamed my swap whitty AU and redone any connections he had to anything of Sock.clip's lore in respect to her!)

[nodawnesperia]

Current Status Report (faction status part 2)

The second part, this should be the final of the worldbuilding posts at least for now. After this, I'd like to start getting into specific characters/events. Not sure who I'll start with so if you have a preference, do let me know (same for specific events). Reminder that the Graveborn faction is mostly the same but I will point out the few things that changed. The Hypogeans will be more about their general structure as a faction since the canon provides little to no info on it put concisely. The Celestials though? That's where things will get a little more curious.

This one is short, much shorter than the previous posts. Have fun!

Graveborn

The School of the Dead: The Metamorphs

Previously: The School of the Dead is split between two factions: The Spiritualists and the Metamorphs. While the Spiritualists practice necromancy through magic only, the Metamorphs utilize alchemy and experiment with various other substances in order to further the limits of necromancy. Currently: With the Hypogean backing and support, the Metamorphs of the School of the Dead came up with a new way of reanimating bodies – using Hypogean magic. The resulting creations are tireless, hardworking, intelligent, and brutal warriors.

The Boneyard: The Whispering Doom

Previously: A massive tower looming over the Boneyard, it is filled with sinister spirits known as the Harvesters who collect the lost souls of Esperia, purifying them and stuffing them in new bodies, creating legions of submissive Graveborn soldiers. Currently: With Annih back in the picture, lost souls are no longer present in Esperia. However, for the sake of the alliance, fragile as it may be, Annih allows Niru as the head of the Whispering Doom to choose a limited number of souls for the Graveborn armies.

Hypogeans

Creatures of chaos and destruction exist all over the universe, spawned by the leaking powers of the elder god Lutos. Most of them are disorganized and chaotic, barely capable of any rational thought. In Esperia, however, many influences affected their creation to the point where many are born sentient and even intelligent. There is a wide variety of them now, the only thing tying them all together being their natural draw to destruction.

However, united under the leadership of Annih and Uemiss, the Hypogeans are a formidable force. Annih appointed two high commanders of the Hypogean armies, Kane and Conrad, to lead the lesser Hypogeans and make up for their lack of intelligence. Kane is a strategic attacker while Conrad takes care of the Hypogeans' steadfast defense. By promising domains, power, and their pickings of prisoners and captives, Annih managed to sway the will of most other powerful Hypogeans as well, using their vast array of powers and skills to form a strike force the likes of which have never been seen in Esperia.

Celestials

When Dura created the Barred Gate, she made the remaining gods swear a divine oath to protect it and guard it from ever breaking again. However, when Uemiss began trying to reclaim his power over Altor, many Celestials abandoned their posts to go and combat the galactic threat. When the Gate shattered, so too did the gods' divinity. And as more and more of Esperia fell to the Hypogeans and the mortal faith weakened, even the remaining demigod powers quickly weakened.

At present, the Celestials are either scattered around Esperia or hiding within the deepest parts of the Celestial Sanctum, unable to shed their physical bodies or put up much of a fight. Some died, others got captured. Most of them remain free but it is only freedom in the name. The worse the situation gets, the more desperate the Celestials grow, employing means they once deemed beneath them to secure even the smallest of victories. Mortal faith no longer sustains them so they, in turn, no longer care about the mortal lives. If a hundred mortals die to kill ten Hypogeans, the Celestials only see the dead Hypogeans. Those who are unwilling to submit to such cruel methods are abandoned, left without a faction, allies, or place to belong.

[megacross-ground-zero-rated-r]

Okay, how can you be just a little notes blog???

Your thoughts, your descriptions, your analyses... they are priceless

I was tired AF and hurt in my bed, and I was swirling around in tumblr, searching something new about my favorite private detective and I fall on your blog

And I see you barely have notes

Such a waste

Anyway no I didn't read a lot of your stuff because right now I was searching if you have an Ao3 account or something

Because you have to... you have to have write fanfiction, yeah? Please?

Anywah, now you are stuck with me as a fan

Hey, glad to hear you like everything. Sorry to hear about the pain you're in.

I wouldn't call it a waste. Sure, I haven't gotten the attention I wanted, but it's still been a fun ride.

As for publishing anything...

I've been writing fic for nearly a decade and a lot of it has been just playing with characters like dolls for the hell of it. I published one thing years ago and took it down about a month after. I don't know if I'll actually publish fic online again but if I do, I want at least five fics done before I die. Might be one-shots, might be multi-chapter, not sure yet.

I'm trying my damnedest to get on T but money's fuckin' tight right now, that goal definitely takes precedent over finishing a story.

I'm very curious to know what specific thing about Nick Valentine and/or Conrad Kellogg I posted hooked your interest.

For years now I've had the idea of Nick and Kellogg’s ghost learning to share Nick's skull peacefully once Kellogg proves he's not an active threat, not out for revenge, just not ready to leave yet because he's unsure of the state of his mortal soul. He doesn't know what's going to happen to him if they attempt to delete him, so he begs Nick to let him stay, and the two become friends and/or lovers from there.

No disrespect to people who like Possessed Nick stories where Kellogg is actively aggressive or trying to take over, I just lost interest in those pretty quick and wanted to see how it would work out if they agree he has to stay hidden from other people in Nick’s life, but Kellogg will ONLY possess Nick and hurt him if he tries to purge the ghost before he's ready to go. Always acting in self defense and demanding respect as his own person within their shared body / mind.

In Megacross: Ground Zero specifically Kellogg / Conrad Cereal falls into obsessive love with Nick, as the only thing he could cling to to stay alive, and Toon!Nick falls to his worst human impulses, anger and jealousy and his insistence that he has everything under control. He Has To Have Everything Under His Control. He backslides into repressive ideals surrounded by a "Pre-War" ((read: late 40's early 50's)) society and becomes obsessed with Kellogg / Conrad ruining his reputation.

Which may or may not result in him being chased by a horrific representation of his fear of his own Id. His human, needy, embarrassing desires.

Further complicated by the fact Toon!Nick doesn't remember any of their time living together.

[office-hours-affection-if]

i feel like i fall in love with a different character everytime i visit your blog, they're all just soo good! also wanted to ask, when in crushing stage, how would the ros feel if the mc were to go on a date with someone else?

🥰 thank you so much, you are very nice and sweet <33

This is what ROs would feel:

Diesel: Very jealous. Would talk to you about it like its his business as well 😩 "Do you really have to go on a date with them?" He will not admit being jealous but tries to convince you not to go.

Seth: Ends up sulking. Tries to be supportive but you can see right through him that he's not fine. "I hope they treat you right, you deserve the best" but dying inside and wishing it was him instead </3

Az: Caught off guard. Tries to not let it get to him, ends up distracted through his work all day. Secretly, tries to stalk your social media for any post and then would call you after the date to casually ask how was it.

Grant: Secretly annoyed. Congratulates you but unexpectedly shows up at the date place and say he doesn't know you'll be there. Lowkey tries to crash the date.

Leon: Conflicted. He desperately wants you not to go but would instead say, "You do deserve to go on dates especially with people your age." Then stops you before you go out, "Would you at least call me if something goes wrong? Please?" Also self-depecrates after.

Markus: Gets defensive and very hurt, it felt like a slap on him on the label you both had, after all, you're only friends with benefits. "Why not just date me instead?"

Isla: Secretly jealous. You don't notice it as she fusses and supports you with date ideas. Makes side comments, "If its not fun, ditch them, you know where to find me." You think its a joke but she's serious with that.

Conrad: Hurt but won't let you know. Ultimately, supports you and also tries to threaten your date. "Don't ever hurt her or I'll personally make your life hell."

Dom: Feels like all his chance went down the drain. "I hope you have fun." He'll excuse himself after then tries to busy himself with work but fails.

Law: Gets caught off guard as well. May do the unexpected and asks you for a chance of date too immediately or won't contact you at all due to jealousy then makes up his mind by showing up in your doorstep. "Can I go on a date with you after?"

[craneswings]

Yuzu Stats Meta 01 - SoV Numbers + Cipher Analysis

Time to take a look at Yuzu's actual stats and how they fare toward her progression toward being the strongest! However, with her origin being from Cipher and not Shadows of Valentia, I want to also take reference from her cards and how they would translate to a normal FE setting.

Part 1: The In-Game Stats on her D&D Resume (SoV Appearance)

As always, I used Serenes Forest to collect image references for Yuzu's base stats and growth rates. They are also posted in that order below.

Before breaking down how each stat fares in comparison to the rest of the cast, it is important to note that Yuzu is a DLC unit in SoV, meaning that she can be recruited practically anytime in the game and on either route. The latter isn't that concerning, but for the former I usually prefer to compare Yuzu's "optimal" recruitment to a midgame pre-promote unit in other FEs, supported by Yuzu's class of Priestess (or promoted mage).

HP: OKAY BASE, AVERAGE GROWTH

Now, Yuzu's base HP of 26 isn't actually low when comparing it to the rest of SoV's cast, but considering her position as a pre-promote and in comparison to her Cipher friends, she actually is pretty behind in the HP department. It can be difficult to specifically define what HP means in context (Bulky? Durable? High endurance?), but for Yuzu I would interpret it as her prioritizing a high offense rather than a defensive front. Her future defensive stats will further prove this.

On the other hand, her HP growth is fine enough at 40%. It's still the lowest compared to her friends (by just 5%, to be fair), but is on the same level as the average of the other Valentians at a glance. To be honest, at times the DLC units' growths feel like they were approached differently compared to the base game (which...fair. You're paying for these units so you wouldn't want them to falter too much.), which makes them hard to fairly analyze at times.

ATK: GREAT BASE, GREAT GROWTH

Base 15 ATK is insane. Only Zeke and Mycen beat her (who are Tier 3 units who join much later into the game) and Conrad tie her (who by my recruitment assumption, would still join later than Yuzu). There's really not much else to say on a comparison level, girl can swing hard. A great way to portray her training paying off, as I headcanon SoV to occur close to the end of her Cipher mishaps.

Additionally, I know I just said Yuzu gets carried by DLC growths, but a 55% in ATK is pretty ridiculous as well. Barring Delthea's Est-nature of a 70% ATK growth, 60% is the highest in the game that ties with fellow Cipher Randal along with Celica, Mae, and...Genny, of all people. Magic gang? All in all, even if she is right behind them, the high growth is a great showing of where her priorities lie.

SKL: GOOD BASE, GREAT GROWTH

Yuzu is above-average in SKL with a base stat of 13, although there are a fair amount of units who surpass her, mainly veteran warriors such as Deen and Mycen. Still, she beats out a lot of the cast to represent her expertise in her weapon of choice during this adventure: her Warrior's Sword. Unless you decide to use a Pitchfork and reclass her, for some reason.

The growth is a very similar story to ATK growth, with a 60% growth tying her for second with Conrad while the top SKL growth of 75% belongs to Luthier. (Those magical villagers really want to act like they're on top, huh.) This again shows Yuzu emphasizing her willingness to improve her martial arts prowess above all else.

SPD: GREAT BASE, GREAT GROWTH

She starts with 16 base SPD, literally outrunning any playable unit other than Deen who has 17 SPD. It really is a similar story to the last 2 categories, given her 60% SPD growth is only challenged by Kliff, who ties her, and Clair, who wins with a 70% growth. Given how SoV has units double one another based on smaller speed differences unlike other FE games, I can easily imagine Yuzu being incredibly swift, fitting for one sometimes described as a ninja as well as samurai.

LCK: GOOD BASE, OKAY GROWTH

LCK is where Yuzu is somewhat brought back to reality, with a base stat of 9 being good, just not outpacing the majority of the cast by a wide margin. Yuzu does not strike me as a particurally lucky nor unlucky person, yet she would rely more on her own merits to win a fight rather than pure chance. This also explains her decent 35% LCK growth, which is still above-average for playable units, just not incredible.

DEF: OKAY BASE, LOW GROWTH

This is a very similar instance to HP, where technically Yuzu's 7 base DEF is not low, but it is important to comapre her to the competition here. She notably trails behind the rest of the DLC units, along with being on a similar playing field to other promoted units. With the assumption that she'd be a midgame unit, her defense would be quite low. Not frail by any means, but Yuzu is a frontline, offensive force. She trains to trade hits, not excel at tanking them.

30% DEF growth also slightly trails behind the Cipher DLCs, and this time even ties or goes behind a lot more Valentian residents. This serves as further evidence that Yuzu is not attempting to minimize damage, preferring to hone her attacking traits.

RES: GOOD BASE, OKAY GROWTH

RES is usually a low stat in SoV (ignore Emma, she's cheating), but Yuzu's base of 9 RES and even 2% growth is better than a fair amount of the cast. Still, if you try comparing Yuzu's RES while considering her class of Priestess, a mix of physical and magical damage, she is fairly behind the other mages, sages, and even clerics of SoV. I think this fits her desire to prioritize the martial arts rather than magical arts. Otherwise, this is another showing of a priority of offense over defense.

TOL: HIGH

0.6 is the highest Tolerance of the game, meaning Yuzu takes the longest to tire while traveling in dungeons. This is pretty fitting for someone who likely travels often, either to find new opponents or in the pursuit of intense training.

That is the end of Yuzu's SoV stats, but before summarizing I thought it would be nice to pay homage to her source material.

Part 2: The Cooler Way to Calculate Stats

Now this section will definitely be more brief, as Cipher doesn't serve as great material to transition to traditional JRPG stats, given how your attack stat is also technically your defense stat in Cipher. I am also lacking general knowledge of each card's power, so there will be no comparisons. Furthermore, I don't want to speak much about Yuzu's class choices here, as I plan to cover them in a future stats meta.

This time around, this wiki entry assisted in collecting Yuzu's card stats. No images will be used, but instead I will highlight cards via their series and skill names.

SERIES 3 - ATTACK EMBLEM (Cranewinged Swordswoman)

A support skill that provides the main attacking card 20 extra attack. It can easily be seen as a flex of strength, but it also highlights that Yuzu is still a team player when it comes to the battlefield!

SERIES 3 - INDOMITABLE WILL (Flightflash Bravecrane)

Another attack-buffing skill, this time for herself when you are down to your last orb. A sense of desperation, possibly, yet I also see it as Yuzu holding a strong enough will during battles to provide comeback factor.

SERIES 4 - MIXED MARTIAL ARTS (Crane Warrior)

A conditional where Yuzu gains 10 attack when supported by a sword, lance, or axe unit. It's another showing of being a team player, this time thanks to her high weapon experience.

SERIES 7 - NINJA WARRIOR'S TECHNIQUE (Shinobi of the Violet Shadows) 

Yet another +10 attack buff, surprise surprise, but this time being shared with an ally when that ally is a shuriken unit. More cooperative play, which serves well in a TCG setting.

SERIES 9 - SHIELD OF THE POWERLESS (Purple-Gleaming Protector)

A skill that "defends" your weaker allies during the opponent's phase by raising their attack by 10. This is an instance where arguably the attack stat is more of a defense one, but it still shows Yuzu's capability of support.

SERIES 16 - MASTERY OF MOUNTED ARCHERY (Master of Plains Warfare)

This skill gives Yuzu 30 extra attack after she moves in a turn. It's pretty unconventional for her weapon of choice, being a bow in this case, yet I believe this highlights her williness to experiment with unusual strategy and, considering the +30 boost, succeed.

These are only a few out of many skills Yuzu has in Cipher (I ignored ones that are either difficult to explain or more standard for main characters or the rest of the cast), but they definitely paint an interesting image for her. She still boasts high strength and prefers to apply it on the frontline, but she additionally shares her strength with others or builds it off of the weaponry of others, which also requires her allies' aid. It really shows a more supportive role that I feel like the mainline games can lack at times when it comes to physical units, outside of perhaps the 3DS games' pair-up mechanics.

Summary

SoV presents Yuzu as a Priestess who focuses on the physical side to dish out powerful, skillful, and fast sword strikes. However, she sacrifices a fair bit of defensive prowess in doing so, preferring to outright win fights before having to endure multiple hits. Even as a DLC unit, SoV's portrayal of Yuzu matches her nature of being battle-ready very well.

Cipher continues this trend, having many abilities that increase her power. However, not only does she buff herself to make it through fights, she also strengthens those around her with a focus on adapting to and using their varied weaponry, a support she sees value in due to her goals to master any martial art.

Hopefully this analysis goes to show Yuzu isn't just power-hungry, as her journey to be the best requires her to learn from others and support them rather than steamroll every enemy in sight. In that sense, I somewhat prefer Cipher's gameplay portrayal of Yuzu, but that doesn't mean SoV isn't fun or interesting in its own right!

[nitrosplicer]

I’ve fallen prey to one of the classic blunders- thinking through all the points of nuance without adding them to a post. I’m doing that now. Sorry in advance.

One huge issue with James Somerton’s presentation of these talking points is the complete erosion of history he invites. The history of queer activists opposing gay marriage as the only endpoint for gay equality is more nuanced than he’s represented it to be. It’s not like he sits down and explains that the defense “gay is good” originated from the activism of the Mattachine society, and from the efforts of the New York Chapter, founded by Frank Kameny, who encouraged protests but only within the framework of acceptable professional behavior, banning men with long hair and women in trousers from protesting, and encouraging assimilation through the “gay is good” legal defense. (If you’re interested in this particular chapter in gay activism, I highly recommend reading The Deviant’s War by Eric Cervini). The “gay is good” legal defense existed as a counter to laws which defined homosexuality as immoral: if a person truly believed that homosexuality was good and moral, they could argue that their personal beliefs were contrary to this subjective definition of morality. This left out people who are trans and generally anyone without the money to take homophobes to court.

Instead, Somerton throws out a stolen quote from Fran Lebowitz about boring gays surviving the AIDS epidemic. He doesn’t provide any history there- he just uses the quote to argue that modern gay art is deficient, just “because.” He doesn’t provide a reason, a history, or root himself within the actual history of gay oppression to homonationalism and assimilation.

There are in fact arguments against gay marriage by queer activists, on the grounds that it leaves out transgender people, poor people, people in prison, sex workers, etc. However, I’m not James Somerton, so I’m not afraid to say that this is an ongoing debate with a lot of nuance: for instance I’ll point to this piece by Dean Spade and Craig Willse. There are also these articles responding to the first: The Affective Economy of Marriage: Or, No Spouse Left Behind by Brooke M. Beloso, Why Gay Marriage Matters: A Reply to Dean Spade and Craig Willse by John Scagliotti. Taken together, these articles set the groundwork for both pros and cons of gay marriage as the only end point for gay activism.

Other books which provide additional nuance in framing this debate:

Against Equality: Queer Critiques of Gay Marriage, edited by Ryan Conrad: this book provides an archival history of queer activism beyond the “gay rights” framework

Captive Genders: Trans Embodiment and the Prison Industrial Complex, edited by Eric Stanley: this book provides a glimpse into the horrors perpetrated by the prison industrial complex, which “gay rights” as a paradigm has been remarkably ineffective in addressing

Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics and the Limits of Law by Dean Spade: this book reaches beyond the “gay rights” legal defense to show how legal opposition against discrimination is limited

I took issue with this point by Somerton for its ahistoricism and general cavalier attitude towards a history of activism. He’s promoting a flanderized and overly simplistic view of history, which I cannot abide. I encourage any readers to read up on this history and to seek out your own viewpoints, which you can’t accomplish through passive consumption.

ok i finally understand where gen z gays on tumblr are getting insane ideas like "marriage equality was a waste of time and only of interest to rich white cis gays who wanted respectability" and "bob iger is pro-gay". it was fucking james somerton this whole time. "american GIs joined the european front purely out of envy for nazi bodybuilding" <<<< actual thing he said seriously in a video. and people were just like "yup sounds good" ?????

[gertlushgaming]

Flashback 2 Review (PlayStation 5)

For this Flashback 2 Review, In the 22nd century, the United Worlds extends throughout the Solar System, but this tranquillity is threatened by the Morph invasion led by the fearsome General Lazarus. In search of his lifelong friend Ian, Conrad B. Hart dives once again into an action-packed adventure full of twists, turns, and revelations with the help of his allies and AI-powered weapon A.I.S.H.A.

Flashback 2 Review Pros:

- Decent graphics. - 7.38GB download size. - Platinum trophy. - 5 save slots. - Controller settings - can rebind controls. - 2.5D action-platformer gameplay. - Tutorial pop-ups as you play. - In-game cutscenes are a mix of character portraits and art with background animations. - Fully voiced main character. - Puzzle elements throughout. - Aisha is your Ai sidekick who helps with tutorials and explains elements of the story. - Traveling around the locations is done via a bike and you drive on a freeway and ring-road coming off at your location. - Traveling between areas is done via the rail system. - A bright neon futuristic landscape is full of bright colors and dark underbelly. - Twin stick shooter controls for the combat which is guns and melee when up close. - Stealth mechanic. - You can fast-forward and skip cutscenes and interactions. - Take on jobs from the job board to earn credits. - Mech-fighting mini-games can appear. - Medikits are littered around and enemies have a chance to drop them. - A hacking mini-game is a sliding puzzle where you make icons meet each other. - Special glasses allow you to see through walls and this is generally used in a puzzle or locked door capacity. - Fast easy d-pad up control for Medikits. - You have a dash and a shield to use for defense. - Enemies will have a meter above their heads to help gauge if they see you. - Great looking locations. - The world feels alive with people going about their business. - Find powerful upgrades for your weapons. - The lighting helps elevate the atmosphere, especially in the darker parts. - Interact with posters and find lore and propaganda leaflets around the world. - Clear interface. - The d-pad is used for action shortcuts. - Save point terminals can be found around the world. - Multiple choice questioning. - Changing the frequency in your headset analyzer scanner will show different nodes and cabling. Flashback 2 Review Cons: - The bright neon colors bleed into each other and in places like the highway, it makes reading the signs and seeing traffic really difficult. - No actual game settings. - The camera cannot be controlled and in these areas, it can be hard to maneuver and go downstairs and enter doors. - The stealth is completely broken as enemies get alerted to you when in stealth and moving out of sight. Any noise is instant and all the enemies know exactly where you are. - Enemy shots are ridiculously accurate. - Had a few instances of being shot through the wall and environment. - Having melee work when you press shoot closely to an enemy is a nightmare when surrounded. - Takes so long to get going with many of the quests just being fetch quests. - Save points sometimes tell you the game is saved and sometimes it doesn't. - Conrad (your character) is often rude and sarcastic which is grating but he just doesn't act like you expect. - Many times I've had characters get stuck on the world or they just keep running into an invisible wall. - Combat is more guesswork and luck than skill. - At times an enemy encounter finishes once you kill all enemies and then this big hive thing (which is Invincible until you kill all enemies) and enemies have a knack of disappearing or being back several screens. - Enemies' health seems to be made up with some being easy and some just being absolute bullet sponges. - The tutorial side of things is very weak and doesn't really help a whole lot. - No Colourblind or accessibility options. Related Post: Dungeons 4 Review (PlayStation 5) Flashback 2: Official website. Developer: Paul Cuisset and  Microids Publisher: Microids Store Links - PlayStation Read the full article

[kaitidid22]

Fanfic: Family (Conrad/Billie)

Summary: Gigi feels very comfortable expressing her wants and desires, while stirring up Billie's baby feelings and a panic attack. (Canon friendly to date & set post-DevonxLeela's wedding)

A/N: She's alive! This one went sideways on me for a while, and I couldn't get it to gel. And then I realized I was trying to write three stories in one, which was a bad plan, clearly. Working on the other two next!

Family

Billie picked up her coffee and gave the barista a polite smile. As she turned to leave, she heard a tiny voice yell, “Aunt Billie!”

As always, a well of love and happiness rose in Billie’s chest at the sound of Gigi’s voice, with an extra little hiccup of pleasure at the sheer unexpectedness of getting to see her in the middle of the day. Scanning the café, Billie spotted the little girl sitting with A.J. at a table outside, double-wide stroller parked next to them, and they waved at each other. Before Billie could take more than a step or two towards their small group, Gigi had hopped out of her chair and run over to throw her arms around Billie’s middle.

Billie gazed down at the crown of Gigi’s head and noted that the French braid Billie had put in that morning was showing amazing endurance.

Nice work, Dr. Sutton, she thought smugly.

“Hi, sweetie,” Billie said out loud.

Gigi raised her head to grin up with big eyes that were starting to look exactly like Conrad’s, right down to the note of mischief always lurking behind them. Billie ran a thumb over Gigi’s soft cheek and felt a lump rise in her throat when Gigi snuggled her face closer into Billie’s palm.

Abruptly, it occurred to Billie that it was Friday, and Gigi should be in school. Billie had, in fact, dropped the six-year-old off that morning at her grammar school with Conrad on their way to work. And, yet, Gigi was in the hospital café at—Billie glanced at the clock on the wall—seven after eleven in the morning.

“Are you on recess?” Billie asked, doubtful. Wasn’t recess at ten? Ish?

Gigi shook her head. “I got sent home, and Uncle A.J. said he could watch me until Daddy’s done for the day.”

“What?” Billie asked dumbly, taken aback.

Gigi never misbehaved, and Billie felt her hackles start to rise in the little girl’s defense. If Gigi was being blamed for something another kid had done, Billie was going to—

Nothing, she told herself sternly. You’ll do nothing.

Because she was an adult, and Conrad had incredible relationships with Gigi’s teachers. Billie was never going to jeopardize that in any way. So, she would do nothing about this transgression. But she was going to resent the hell out of it. Quietly.

“Why, sweetie?” Billie asked belatedly.

“Emmett tested positive for COVID,” Gigi said. “So, we all got sent home, and we have to get tested for three days.”

Oh, Billie though to herself, slightly ashamed of her own vicious response.

It still didn’t answer the lingering question of why Conrad hadn’t called Billie. Or texted her. Or had Hundley call her. Something. Her schedule was light. She could have driven back across town to pick Gigi up, especially if A.J. was only tasked with bringing Gigi back to the hospital. Billie could have taken Gigi for part of the day. It was performance review season, and Billie was scheduled to be reading boring forms all day.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Billie said, forcing herself to focus. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Yeah, no symptoms,” Gigi said, sounding entirely too knowledgeable on infectious diseases for a six-year-old. “A.J. took me for my test. The rapid came back negative.”

Billie bit her lip to keep the smile from crossing her face at Gigi’s serious tone. Gigi was very clear with everyone who would listen that she was going to be a nurse practitioner just like her mother. And she had an uncanny understanding of medical issues, given that she couldn’t even read a chapter book yet.

“That’s very good news,” Billie said, she slid her hand over Gigi’s shoulder and began to lead her back to the table where A.J. was still sitting. “And at least it’s Friday. So, you’re not missing much school at all.”

“Yeah, I like school,” Gigi said, a little glum.

“I know you do,” Billie said as they reached A.J. and the boys. “Good morning.”

“Billie,” A.J. greeted her.

He had taken one of the twins out of the stroller and was holding a bottle at the baby’s mouth. Billie squinted but couldn’t tell which boy it was. She thought it might be Arjun, given the scowl on the face of the baby still in his stroller seat. Elijah was the grumpy one. But she had a fifty-fifty chance of being right, so she wouldn’t even be impressed with herself if she was.

“I didn’t know you were running a daycare today.”

A.J. shrugged a shoulder. “It’s my day off, and I had the boys anyway. What’s one more?”

“That’s the spirit,” Billie said.

She took a sip of her coffee as she watched him switch the baby. His movements were deft, practiced, and she nodded in approval as he got the baby settled and buckled in without a single fuss.

“Impressive,” Billie told him.

A.J. smirked. “I know.”

Gigi began to gather up her belongings, and A.J. said, “Whoa, kid. Where ya going?”

Gigi pointed at Billie. “With Aunt Billie,” she said. Then Gigi looked up at Billie with concerned eyes. “Can’t I?”

Billie started to say of course, you can, and then she stopped. Was this something she still needed to ask Conrad about? Technically, if the school hadn’t been able to reach Conrad, they would have called Billie as Gigi’s emergency contact, and she would have taken Gigi for the day anyway.

But that wasn’t what had happened. Conrad had asked A.J. to watch Gigi for the day. And the decision of who would be watching his daughter was Gigi’s father’s to make. If he wanted Gigi with A.J., then who was Billie to come along and scoop Gigi up? And, on a more basic note, Conrad believed Gigi was with A.J. If Billie was going to take Gigi, didn’t she need to tell him first? What if he came looking for her? Did he even know A.J. was at the hospital?

Billie turned uncertain eyes to A.J., who looked surprised. “Yeah. Can’t she?” A.J. asked, keeping his voice sedate.

“I’m sure it’s fine, sweetie,” Billie said finally. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her ID card. “Why don’t you go order yourself a hot chocolate, ok?”

“Okay!” Gigi shoved the rest of her school supplies into the backpack and dashed off, blonde ponytail streaming behind her.

“Conrad is always fine letting you take Gigi. Always has been. You’re Super Auntie,” A.J. said, pointed. “Why would today be different?”

“He didn’t call me,” Billie said. “That’s weird, isn’t it?”

A.J. gave her a disbelieving look. “He only called me because I had the day off, Billie. You are definitely overthinking this,” A.J. said. “Is this because you won’t move in?”

“He told you about that?” Billie asked.

“The man was terrified he had run you off,” A.J. said. “Needed someone to talk to.”

Billie was ashamed that hearing A.J. describe Conrad as terrified to lose her made her chest warm and her hands shaky. Sometimes her relationship with Conrad—as joyful as it made her—didn’t quite feel real. Like it was still three years before, and she was living in a prolonged dream that she might wake from at any second.

Billie turned slightly so she could keep one eye on Gigi at the counter. The barista was smiling at the little girl, using Billie’s ID to ring up the hot chocolate.

“I know,” Billie said again.

“Did he?” A.J. asked. “Run you off?”

Billie hesitated.

“Oh wow,” A.J. said, with what sounded like genuine concern. “He almost did.”

“No,” she said, realizing she had given him the wrong impression. “I love Conrad. I want to be with him. I don’t think there’s anything he could do to run me off. Ever. If he had made it an ultimatum—”

“Which Conrad would never do,” A.J. pointed out.

She nodded in concession. “But if he had, I would have moved in a heartbeat. But that would have forced some issues to be worked out a bit faster than I was ready to face them.” She sighed and muttered, “Apparently, I’m still not ready to face them.”

“So, if he had forced you, then you would have moved in with him? But because he respects you and your boundaries, and he’s waiting patiently, you’re avoiding the conversation. That makes no sense.”

“It’s complicated,” she said on a sigh, eyes locked on Gigi. “I almost wish he had forced it.”

“That is not the Dr. Billie Sutton I know,” A.J. said.

Which was entirely fair but slightly judgmental, and Billie gave him a quelling look. A.J. was unfazed, staring her down with disapproval.

“It would have given me an easy out. Which, you’re right, I should not want. But the thing is, in my head, if I make the decision to move in,” Billie said, “then it’s a conscious decision that Nic doesn’t factor in anymore. And I know that’s not fair, but I can’t get past it either.”

She could see from A.J.’s face that Conrad hadn’t told him this part. Or maybe Conrad had only spoken to him during the limbo weeks when Billie had been lost in her own head.

“Billie—” A.J. began.

“It’s okay,” she said, with a wan smile. “Conrad knows. And I’m working on it.”

A.J. nodded and, for once, let it go.

“I need to text him that I’m taking Gigi,” Billie muttered, pulling out her phone with more nerves than she should be feeling.

“It’s going to be fine,” A.J. said, still sounding confused about her hesitation.

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed.

She quickly typed out a text, Ran into A.J. Taking Gigi to my office., and shoved the phone into her pocket again with more force than necessary. Gigi dashed up next to Billie and held the ID badge out. Billie clipped it back on her white coat and ran an absent hand down Gigi’s hair.

“I’m going to take her upstairs,” Billie said to A.J. “We’ll see you at brunch this weekend, right?”

“Family brunch!” A.J. said. “I am honored and will attend.”

Affection swirled through Billie, and she shook her head on a chuckle. “Devon and Leela land the night before. The sleep deprivation and lovey-dovey time will be real.”

“Ah to be young and in love,” A.J. said with a smirk. “No, thank you.” But then he followed it up with, “It’s all right if the boys and Padma come, right?”

“Of course,” Billie said, hiding her smirk.

“Good because I already invited them.”

Billie laughed.

“Arjun and Elijah are coming?” Gigi asked excitedly.

“Seems like it,” Billie told her. “And Sammie.”

Gigi squealed. “I like the boys,” she said when she had calmed. “Babies are great.”

“Babies are great,” Billie agreed, smiling so hard her face hurt.

God she loved this kid.

“Auntie Billie, can you have babies?” Gigi asked.

The question was a sharp left hook, sideswiping Billie and knocking the wind out of her entirely. Once Billie was able to move again, her eyes jerked to A.J., who immediately looked away. Suspicion set in, but she had to deal with Gigi’s questions first.

“That’s a really good question. Why don’t we talk about this on the way to the elevator?” Billie asked. “Say goodbye, sweetie.”

“Bye Uncle A.J. Bye Arjun! Bye Elijah!” Gigi cried as she slung her arms through the straps of her backpack.

Then she followed as Billie led the way from the café towards the elevators. Billie cleared her throat, wondering what A.J. could have said to prompt questions about Billie’s fertility in a six-year-old.

“So, let’s talk about babies,” she said, trying to sound like a professional doctor, detached and unaffected. “If someone is born female, they often have the ability to produce eggs. And we usually think that’s all it takes to have a baby.”

“Egg and sperm!” Gigi said.

Billie bit back a smile as a few people glanced at them, startled. “Indoor voice, sweetie,” Billie reminded her.

“Egg and sperm,” Gigi said, more quietly.

“Exactly,” Billie said. “But it’s much more complicated than that.”

The elevator opened, and Billie urged Gigi inside and to the far back corner, pausing to press the button for the surgical floor. They settled against the wall in the corner while other people crowded into the elevator with them.

“What else do you need?” Gigi asked, sounding like she was making a grocery list.

“Well, a woman’s uterus needs to be able to carry a fetus to term. Not every female body can.”

“Why not?”

“A lot of reasons,” Billie said with a shrug. “Sometimes the placenta isn’t able to attach to the lining. Sometimes the uterus can’t form the plug that keeps the baby inside until it’s ready to be born.”

“Do you have any of those reasons?” Gigi asked.

“Not that I know of, sweetie,” Billie said. “And, remember, I’ve had a baby before. I had Trevor.”

Gigi nodded thoughtfully. “But you’re old, right?”

Billie could feel the amusement wafting off of the other people in the elevator and wanted to glare at them all. She took a deep, silent breath.

“It’s very common for women in their forties to have children. It’s just harder to get pregnant.”

Gigi narrowed her eyes. “And you get a period?”

“I do, sweetie.”

Though she was on a miraculous birth control that only required she get a period every three months. Modern medicine was spectacular.

“And that means you still have eggs,” Gigi said.

“Not necessarily,” Billie said, wrinkling her nose in apology at Gigi.

“More complications,” Gigi said on a sigh.

“Yes, sweetie,” Billie said, hearing someone in the elevator chuckle and hide it under a cough.

Belatedly, she remembered she had never checked if Conrad had responded to her text. She pulled out the phone, and, sure enough, he had reacted to the message with a heart. The sight of it should have eased her nerves.

It didn’t. He hadn’t sent anything else.

As they left the elevator, Billie glanced down at Gigi, offering her hand. Gigi took it.

“Did that answer your questions?” Billie asked.

Gigi nodded. “Can we color?” she asked.

Billie smiled. Curiosity assuaged. Nice work, Dr. Sutton.

“Heck yeah, we can color,” Billie said.

~*~

That night, in bed, Billie found herself lying awake, wishing she had just asked Conrad about A.J. But she had told herself not to be so insecure—Conrad had been very clear with her that he was in love with her, had taken every opportunity to remind her that she was it for him. It didn’t feel fair to constantly make him reassure her, just because he had done the whole life partners thing before and she hadn’t.

She rolled over while Conrad was sleeping and watched his chest rise and fall. He looked so peaceful asleep, younger and lighter. And the memory of A.J. telling her Conrad had been terrified no longer made her chest warm. It made her throat clench and eyes burn.

She scooted over closer to him, so that she could rest her head in the soft place where his chest met his shoulder. The divot seemed to fit her cheek perfectly.

Conrad stirred, his head turning so he could blink open bleary eyes and look at her. Then he smiled sleepily and rolled to curl around her. His prickly cheek brushed against hers as he wrapped her in the approximation of a bear hug.

“I love you,” he mumbled.

Billie wondered if he was even awake. “I love you, too.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

He hummed in her ear, then pulled back to look at her again. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve got that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The one that says you can’t believe I’m real.”

“Oh, that look,” Billie said, dry. “I wasn’t aware you knew that look.”

“It’s a great look. I mean, I am amazing,” Conrad said. “It’s perfectly understandable.” He sounded more awake now, and his smile died. “Are you okay?”

“Why did you have A.J. pick up Gigi today?”

His brow crinkled. “They got sent home because of a COVID scare. She didn’t tell you? Sorry, I assumed she explained. She loves talking about medical stuff.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Billie asked, ignoring the rest.

“Because you had to work, and A.J. didn’t.” His eyes studied her face. “Has this been bothering you?”

Yes. So much. But she didn’t say the words out loud.

“We’re okay, right?” she asked.

“We’re more than okay.” He cradled her face in his hand, thumb brushing her cheekbone. “Why would you think we’re not?”

“Because I’m scared.”

That this is a dream.

That I’m going to lose you.

That I only half have you.

That I’m going to ruin this.

He nodded, like that made sense, even though she knew she had explained nothing. “I called A.J. because he was free, and he likes having Gigi around. That’s all. I was really happy when you texted, and I knew you two were together. You’re always my first choice, Billie.”

She squeezed her eyes shut hard. Then she nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he whispered back. “I love you.”

And, this time, instead of answering, she kissed him.

~*~

The next morning, Conrad was up early, rousing Gigi and Billie was just enough time for them to head to the hospital for another set of COVID tests. When Billie and Gigi returned, Billie joined him in the kitchen, and Conrad had the oven, broiler, and three burners going.

“We could just take everyone out,” Billie said, stealing a piece of bacon.

“Sacrilege,” Conrad told her, leaning over to sneak a kiss despite her mouth being full.

“Gross,” she said on a laugh.

“You,” he said, punctuating the word with a kiss to her nose, “are never gross.”

“Not me,” Billie said pointedly. “You. Who kisses someone with a mouth full of food?”

Conrad closed in again, and she squealed, laughing. “No! Go away!”

Kit and Bell arrived first, with Jake, Gregg, and Sammie in the car behind them. Gigi thundered to the front door as soon as she spotted them through the windows.

“My rapid was negative again!” Gigi said, instead of greeting them.

“That’s great,” Bell said.

“So was her full PCR from yesterday,” Billie said. “I took her for a second one this morning to be sure.”

“And we’ll take her again tomorrow,” Conrad called from the kitchen.

Sammie and Gigi ran upstairs while Bell, Jake, and Gregg wandered into the kitchen to meet Conrad, who was still stationed at the stove. Kit and Billie were left behind in the foyer without so much as a glance. The men all peered in the various pans and dishes Conrad had out, clearly discussing food strategy.

“How did we get so lucky?” Kit asked, tilting her head to the side as she gazed at her husband.

“Well, you are a badass boss lady with a gigantic heart,” Billie said.

“Pot meet kettle,” Kit said to her and laughed.

Billie chuckled in response, liking that Kit saw her that way. “You want some coffee?”

“I would kill for coffee,” Kit said. “Murder. Mayhem. Cause a riot.”

Billie nodded calmly. “Good thing Conrad already started a pot.”

“When are you moving that wonderful espresso machine in here?” Kit asked. “I dream of that thing, but Randolph is so attached to his ancient one, I can’t bear to make him get rid of it.” She paused and added, “To be honest, he might divorce me if I tried.”

The question was innocent enough, almost absent really, like Kit was just making conversation. But Billie felt her stomach twist at the second reminder in twenty-four hours. She knew the exact spot she would put that espresso machine, and she would send Conrad’s trusty Mr. Coffee straight to the garbage dump.

Or could you recycle coffee machines? They were glass and metal and plastic, right? All of that was recyclable, wasn’t it?

“That’s… a touchy subject,” Billie told Kit.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Kit said, surprised. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

But Billie just smiled and shook her head, picking up speed to the kitchen. “It’s fine. Cream? Sugar? How do I not know how you take your coffee?”

“Black like her soul,” Bell said, with a grin.

Kit gave him a salty look. “Two lumps and a generous topper of plant-based creamer. Any one you have. And milk is fine if not. Thank you, Billie.”

As soon as she had grabbed a cup for Kit, and made sure Gregg had an extra-large cup of his own, the doorbell rang. Billie smiled at everyone. “Let me just get that.”

But she was beaten to the punch by Sammie and Gigi, who came careening down the stairs yelling, “The babies are here! The babies are here!”

“Aren’t they a little young for baby fever?” Bell asked as the adults watched them open the door and swarm Padma and A.J.

“Peaks and valleys through life,” Kit told him. “They like them now, and then they won’t, and then they will again. And then they might not. But then they do for sure, and it just doesn’t go away. That’s when you know you’re old.”

“Ah,” Bell said.

“Good morning, family,” A.J. boomed, the boys each cradled in one arm.

“Perfect timing,” Conrad said. “We’re just about ready to sit down.”

“Wait,” Padma said, looking around the room. “Did we beat Leela here?”

“She texted that she and Devon are running a bit behind,” Billie said. “They wanted us to start without them.”

Padma smacked A.J. on the back lightly. “You are allowed to bully me into leaving early any time.”

“We left exactly on time, Padma,” A.J. said, firm.

“I am going to lord this over her for years,” Padma said.

“We set up a blanket for the boys outside next to the table,” Billie said. “Let me help you get everything down the stairs.”

“Oh, we’ve got it,” Padma said, breezing through the back door and down the wooden steps to the garden.

A.J. stared after her, a resigned expression on his face. Then he glanced down at the boys in his arms.

“Why don’t you let me take one of those?” Bell asked.

“Thank you, Bell,” A.J. said, snuggling the baby in his left arm close to him as Bell slipped the other from his grip.

“And we can take these platters down,” Kit said, picking up two of the serving dishes.

“Happy to,” Jake said and nodded to Gregg.

They each grabbed a dish and followed Kit outside, with Bell and A.J. close behind with the babies. Sammie and Gigi dashed after everyone else, and Billie and Conrad found themselves alone in the kitchen.

“That was surprisingly efficient,” Conrad said.

“I’ll get the plates, if you get the silverware?” Billie asked. “They arrived together,” Conrad murmured in the higher pitched voice he used when he was being silly.

“Right? I’m not crazy,” she murmured back to him, as she gathered the plates out of the cabinet.

“So,” Billie had said, nonchalantly one night after Gigi had gone to bed.

She and Conrad had each been stationed at one end of the couch reading the latest issues of their favorite medical journals, highlighters and pens discarded next to them, legs intwined in the middle.

“Padma and A.J.,” she had said, glancing at him from under her lashes.

Conrad had lowered his reading to look at her, a guarded edge to his gaze. “What about them?”

“I mean… they could be cute, right?”

His eyes had studied her for a long moment, and then he had chuckled. “You know, don’t you?” he had asked.

“You know!” she had said.

They had both straightened on the couch, throwing their respective journals to the carpet.

“I can’t believe you know,” he had said, still laughing.

“Of course, I know,” she had said. “Did A.J. tell you?”

“Devon,” Conrad had said.

Billie had gasped. “I can’t believe he outed his sister-in-law’s friends with benefits situation with our colleague.”

“To be fair, he didn’t tell me until after they stopped sleeping together,” Conrad had said.

She had made a face of mild distaste. “I really can’t believe that he told you.”

“Yeah, never trust Devon with a secret. He will always tell me. Whether I want to know or not.”

“What is it with you two?” she had asked, poking him in the thigh with her toes.

“I’m sorry, Billie,” Conrad had said. “Our relationship predates you. You’ll always have to share me.”

Ignoring that comment, she had nudged him with her foot again. “How long have you known?”

“I don’t know,” Conrad had said, catching her foot in his hands and squeezing lightly, teasingly. “They called it off, what, two years ago?”

“And you never said anything to me?” she had asked, pretending outrage. “I cannot call you my best friend.”

“It was none of my business!” Conrad had said on a laugh. “Besides, you didn’t say anything to me either.”

“Like you would have cared,” she had said, dryly. Then she had remembered the look on A.J.’s face when he had told her about the arrangement with Padma ending. “I think he actually liked her. But he didn’t really know what to do about it.”

“Yeah,” Conrad had drawled. “I think you’re reading into it. He hasn’t been interested in anyone since Mina.”

Billie had wrinkled her nose. “That was years ago. You think he’s still pining?” Before Conrad had been able to respond, she had said, “No. I think he likes Padma, but she’s completely different from anyone he ever pictured for himself, so he’s avoiding.”

Conrad had shrugged, still rubbing her feet absently. “You could be right. I mean, no one would have guessed that we would end up together, Miss Button-Every-Button.”

“Yeah, okay,” she had said. “Mr. I-Rappel-Down-Buildings-And-Climb-Into-Exploding-Buses-To-Save-Patients.”

“That’s a terrible nickname,” he had pointed out. “Does not roll off the tongue.”

“Words are not my forte,” Billie had admitted.

“And you have to admit you love all that about me. It’s kinda hot.”

She had rolled her eyes. “But what do you think? It’s the way they look at each other, right?”

“I don’t know. A.J. is a careful dude,” Conrad had said, almost warningly. “And he risks losing a lot if things go south with Padma.”

“We had a lot to lose,” Billie had pointed out.

Conrad had smiled down at his hands on her feet. “True.” Then he had squeezed her toes again and met her eyes with a serious expression. “But I almost screwed this up. A couple of times. And A.J. watched that happen up close and personal. So… I don’t think he’s going to take a chance on love with the mother of his children.”

Billie had sighed a little at the sad look on Conrad’s face. Then she had pulled her feet out of his hands so that she could crawl across the couch to straddle his lap. His arms had come around her, and his head had tilted back to look up at her as her fingers had lightly scratched the back of his head.

“You didn’t screw this up,” she had whispered.

“Almost,” he had muttered, squeezing his eyes shut.

“But you didn’t,” she had said. “Neither did I, despite my best efforts.”

He had swallowed audibly. “No. It wasn’t you.”

“You have to let that go, baby,” she had whispered. “We’re here, together. And I love you.”

But it had become an old refrain by then, and Billie had known he wouldn’t listen if she tried to argue him out of believing he had hurt her unnecessarily. So, she had pressed a kiss to his forehead and gotten back to the topic at hand.

“A.J. can’t avoid love forever. You don’t have control over that. You’re in it or you’re not. And Padma is amazing with the boys.”

“Does it make me a bad person that I’m really looking forward to giving him a hard time about this?” Conrad had asked, squinting sightlessly somewhere in the vicinity of her neck. “If it happens, that is. Which I still don’t fully believe it is.”

“Not at all,” Billie had said. “I am going to tease him daily. I might start popping in on his surgeries just so he can’t escape me.”

“Vengeful,” Conrad had murmured with some surprise.

“Do you know how hard he pushed me to tell you how I felt, even when you were with Cade? It was nonstop. I swear.”

Conrad had scoffed. “I probably do. Because I’m pretty sure he was giving us the exact same advice. Probably the same lofty speeches even.”

Billie had sat back slightly, and Conrad’s hands had trailed down to her hips. “Wait. So… if we had just listened to him and told each other, then…”

Conrad’s eyes had locked on hers. They had both sworn under their breath.

Gigi insisted that she and Sammie should take the heads of the table Conrad had set up in the backyard, and, so, Conrad and Billie seated themselves across from each other on either side of Gigi. They had just started dishing up food when the backdoor slid open and Devon and Leela appeared.

“Welcome back to beautiful Georgia,” Conrad called to them.

“Trinidad was gorgeous,” Leela said, with a broad, dreamy grin on her face.

“Sorry we’re late,” Devon said, as he and Leela slipped into the empty chairs at the table.

“They don’t care,” Leela said, smile dying. “It was, like, ten minutes. And I texted Billie.”

Billie frowned at the harsh words, but Devon didn’t seem bothered.

“We’re newlyweds,” he said, as if that explained everything.

And maybe it did, but Billie really didn’t want to know. Leela groaned and shot Billie an exasperated look.

“He loves saying that word. It started on the honeymoon and just hasn’t stopped.” Leela turned to Devon with a glare. “Why won’t it stop?”

He smiled at her, unbothered and completely besotted. Across the table from Billie, Conrad smiled at her. A small, secret smile that had her body threatening to melt into the chair.

“What’s a honeymoon?” Gigi asked.

“The single greatest vacation of your life,” Devon said.

Conrad shot him a warning look, and then turned back to his daughter. “It’s a vacation you take after you get married.”

“To celebrate?” Gigi asked.

“Exactly,” Conrad said. “And because it’s your honeymoon, people give you extra stuff. Like champagne or bigger hotel rooms.”

“Chocolates,” Kit said. “Cheesecake. Dinner. A hotel once gave me a whole pig. That was my second marriage.” Then she paused to consider. “I think. Was it third?”

“I love you so much more for the fact that yours are all food related,” Bell said.

“A girl’s got to eat,” Kit said defensively.

“Massages,” Leela added. “Roses.”

“Where did you and Mommy go on your moon trip?” Gigi asked.

Billie hid a smile behind her water glass, eyes laughing at Gigi’s word choice as they met Conrad’s. He was gazing at Billie when he answered the question.

“We went to Key West, Bubble. Beautiful beaches. Lots of seafood.”

“And margaritas,” Billie added, with a teasing smile.

A reluctant, slightly embarrassed smile twisted at Conrad’s mouth. He shook his head, as if only just realizing that Nic had spilled on their honeymoon shenanigans. Billie wasn’t quite sure why that would be surprising. Of course, Nic had spilled to Billie. Nic had told Billie almost everything.

“What free things did you get?” Gigi asked.

“I’m sorry, Bubble. I don’t remember,” Conrad said, shaking his head. “It was seven years ago. A lot has happened since then.”

“I think Nic mentioned a bottle of champagne,” Billie said, shrugging one shoulder.

Conrad looked off into the distance. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “The first night. When we got to the hotel, they had covered the bed in rose petals and had a bottle of champagne chilling for us.”

“Wow,” Gigi squealed.

Billie studied the bittersweet edge to Conrad’s smile. Then his eyes met hers, and his face softened—only slightly, though, before all expression disappeared. And, suddenly, she couldn’t read anything there, like he had blockaded her out. Her heart rate increased as her skin went cold.

“We’ve really been missing out on this whole honeymoon thing, A.J.,” Padma said.

A.J.’s head jerked around to her, but she’d spoken thoughtlessly, more interested in Arjun in her arms than the adults at the table. Billie flicked her eyes back to Conrad, who had clearly clocked the same exchange.

A.J. totally has a crush.

His eyebrow quirked at her—message received—and she dropped her eyes to her plate, worried she would start to giggle. Billie relaxed, at ease now that she felt she could read Conrad’s mind again.

“When you and Billie get married, where would you go on your moon trip? And would I go? It sounds fun.”

Of course, you would. Billie shoved the thought away to examine later and swallowing the spurt of panic at her own easy reaction.

Her eyes flew back to Conrad and found him staring at his daughter, lips parted, but no words escaped. The side conversations had ceased at the table. Even baby Elijah had stopped fussing in his father’s arms.

When another few moments of silent staring from her father passed, Gigi’s face began to crumple in confusion. Billie decided it was time to step in and ran a hand over the little girl’s soft hair.

“Not everybody gets married,” Billie reminded her. “Remember, we talked about this?”

“I remember,” Gigi said.

Her big brown eyes shot sideways to her father, who finally regained movement, leaning back in his chair. Billie wanted to check in, put a hand on his chest and feel his heart beating, strong and sure. But he was on the other side of the table, too far for that to be an option. The distance across the table suddenly felt like a lightyear, and Billie found herself utterly disconnected from his shuttered expression again.

“But?” Billie asked to prompt Gigi.

“But what about babies?” Gigi asked.

Billie heard someone choke. “Babies?” Billie asked. “What do you mean, sweetie?”

“You said you can have babies,” Gigi said.

Billie’s mind raced. She hadn’t mentioned the conversation to Conrad. Gigi had always brimmed with questions about medicine. The curiosity about Billie specifically had just been because Billie happened to be female and still of child-bearing age. Billie had told herself it had been just one more set of questions about bodies, and she had assuaged Gigi’s curiosity, so why mention it?

But the truth was that Billie was a big chicken. She hadn’t wanted the innocent curiosity of a six-year-old to raise the topic between her and Conrad.

Part of her was convinced it was a moot point. Conrad would never consider having another child. He had done that. He had Gigi. He was content. And that would be okay, whenever Billie got around to broaching the subject. She didn’t want a baby more than she wanted to be with Conrad, or more than she loved Gigi. They would have the conversation, she would know for sure babies weren’t in her future, and everything would be fine. A bit sad, but fine.

This—at brunch with their friends and colleagues and his daughter interrogating them—was not how Billie wanted to have the discussion. But she also never wanted to make Gigi feel like a topic was taboo or inject the idiotic concept of “polite company” into Gigi’s mind. So, Billie swallowed her discomfort.

“Well, sweetie, remember I said that was in theory. I should be able to. But I don’t know if—”

“I want a baby,” Gigi said. She pointed at Arjun and Elijah.

Billie took a deep breath in through her nose, but Conrad was still silent on the other side of the table, stunned. Billie was on her own.

“They’re so cute and sweet, right?” Billie asked. “I’m sure if you wanted, Auntie Padma and Uncle A.J. would let you spend more time with them.”

“That would be fine, Gigi,” Padma said gently. “All the time you want.”

And for all Billie thought Padma was a little off-kilter and a lot selfish, she was grateful that Padma was the most tolerant and accepting person Billie had ever met. Maybe even more so than Nic. Padma had an uncanny ability to roll with other people’s foibles, even when she lambasted herself for her own.

“I’d like that,” Gigi said.

Everyone at the table relaxed.

“But I still think you and Daddy should get married and have a baby.”

“A lot to unpack there, Bubble,” Conrad said, finally recovered and rejoining the conversation.

Billie was happy to let him take over for a while. Picking up her juice glass, she chugged some of the orange-mango juice.

“This is the greatest brunch of my life,” Leela said to Devon.

He shushed her.

“You can hear just fine,” Leela hissed at him.

“Not with you talking,” he said in an undertone.

“Yeah,” Jake said in a drawl. “We can all hear you two, though.”

“They don’t care,” Devon said. “I’ve been telling Conrad to marry Billie for two years.”

“I’ve been telling Billie to marry Conrad for a similar span of time,” A.J. said in a booming, jovial voice. “What an amusing coincidence.”

Devon grinned at him. Leela rolled her eyes.

“If only they had taken our prestigious advice.”

At that, Billie found herself compelled to address A.J. “Prestigious?”

“He went to Harvard. And I am me. Prestigious we are.”

“Okay, Yoda,” Conrad said. “Bubble, you know a couple doesn’t have to be married to have a baby, right?”

“Padma and A.J. aren’t married,” Gigi said dutifully. “And they have two.”

“Exactly,” Billie said. “So, when you say you want us to get married and have a baby, which do you really want?”

“Both,” Gigi said simply.

A thought suddenly occurred to Billie, and she put a gentle hand on Gigi’s. “Sweetie, is this you angling to be a flower girl again? You’ve done it twice in a year. That’s a lot.”

She didn’t miss spotting out of the corner of her eye that Conrad’s shoulders eased at the cute explanation. Hurt stabbed at her, and she reminded herself sternly that the reaction wasn’t fair. They weren’t even in private, and the topic had been thrust upon him with no warning—

It was thrust upon you, too, a nasty voice pointed out. And you’re not relieved it’s just Gigi wanting a pretty dress.

Of course, I’m relieved. We don’t even live together, Billie told the voice. Pipe down.

And whose fault is that? the voice asked.

“That’s not why,” Gigi said. “I just want you to get married.”

“She’s always wanted you to get married,” Sammie said. All the adults turned to look at her. “Well, not always,” she amended. “But since last year, at least. Maybe the year before. I wasn’t there for that wish.”

“Wish?” Billie asked, turning back to Gigi.

Gigi was staring hard at the table.

“What does she mean your wish, Bubble?” Conrad asked.

“Her birthday wish,” Billie said.

Gigi’s face jerked up to look at them, suddenly crestfallen. “You’re not supposed to tell anyone your wish. Then it won’t come true!”

“It doesn’t count if someone guesses,” Padma said, calm and tranquil.

Gigi looked immensely relieved. “That’s good.”

Meanwhile, Billie’s mind raced, trying to piece it all together. At least two years, she realized. It’s been her wish for at least two years.

Because Gigi had refused to tell Billie her wish at her fourth birthday. That was the first time in her whole life that Gigi wouldn’t tell Billie the wish she had made. Until she had turned four, Gigi had even whispered her wishes in Billie’s ear right after making them, as if Billie needed to keep them safe for her.

Gigi wants you to get marry Conrad, her brain helpfully reminded her.

And Billie knew how Gigi knew about marriage, obviously, even at four years old. But Gigi had never once mentioned her father remarrying. Neither before nor during Cade, who remained his longest relationship to date—except the one conversation with Sammie, but Sammie had asked if Conrad would marry again, not Gigi. And Gigi had just rolled her eyes at the idea of Cade, unconcerned, and then asked Billie if the girls could help pick out her dress.

Oh, Billie thought. Then, No.

Gigi couldn’t have meant Billie marrying Conrad. But Billie could remember Gigi’s small voice saying it wasn’t like her Mommy with Cade, and had she meant for herself? That Cade wasn’t like a Mommy? Or had she meant with Conrad? That Conrad didn’t care about Cade like he had cared about Nic?

He wasn’t in love with Cade, her brain pointed out.

And little kids were very intuitive, Billie had learned through her time with Gigi. Gigi always knew when either Conrad or Billie were sad. Gigi had that same level of extreme empathy that both Nic and Conrad had always possessed. So, Billie supposed it would make sense if Gigi had simply been reacting to the love she could sense in Conrad for Billie, long before he sensed it himself.

Love equals marriage, Billie realized, wondering how long it had taken her to get to the crux of it.

“People who are in love don’t have to get married,” Conrad was saying to Gigi, having reached the same conclusion at the same time. “It doesn’t mean they love each other any less.”

Billie cleared a suddenly achy throat and forced herself to deal. “Sweetie, what would we have if we get married that we don’t have now?”

“We’re already a family,” Conrad said.

“And we love you. So much,” Billie said.

“I know,” Gigi said.

But she wouldn’t say anything else, and Billie couldn’t tell her yes, of course I’ll marry your father because she really hadn’t even thought about marriage. It was marriage. It was huge. It was something she had never wanted.

Amazing that she could easily picture sitting on the porch swing, old and gray, with Conrad’s arm around her. But she couldn’t picture a ring on her finger. Or maybe she just couldn’t picture one on Conrad’s again, even though he had stopped wearing it years before.

Besides, Conrad was already married. And maybe that shouldn’t be a factor in the decision, but it was. It was.

Billie could hardly get past his desire to move her in, let alone anything beyond that. She still owed him an answer almost five months after their first conversation. And he had been patient. So patient that sometimes she would think he had forgotten all about it, but then he would work it into conversation again.

“Why don’t we spend the night at your place?” Conrad had suggested as they slid into the car, ready to head to the grammar school to pick up Gigi after their Friday shifts.

Billie had given him a look. Ever since Trevor’s visit had necessitated a sleepover at Billie’s, Conrad had been working the offer in at least once every couple of weeks.

“I never promised not to try and convince you,” he had said, with a cheeky grin as he put an arm around the back of her seat and leaned in.

And his cheekiness, paired with an adorable determination to win her over to the idea of cohabitation, had made her grab the front of his shirt and pull him into her body.

“Is that a yes?” he had asked, holding his mouth back from her.

“Fine,” she had said. “Yes, let’s drag poor Gigi to my boring house with no furniture.”

“Gigi likes tumbling around your empty den,” Conrad had said against her lips. “And I find it very encouraging that you haven’t bought any yet.”

And the words had stuck in her mind as a strange thing to say, though they had been shoved to the back so that she could fully focus on the feeling of his tongue sweeping into her mouth.

But the words replayed in Billie’s mind as she watched the disappointment on Gigi’s face and felt an echo inside herself. What could he have meant? She didn’t have furniture because she was busy. She spent most of her time at the hospital, and she tried to spend the rest with Conrad and Gigi—wherever they might want to be. She had been telling herself for five months that it was the only reason.

But the pang in her chest at Conrad’s stunned, panicked reaction, and her knee-jerk assumption—fear based, she knew—that the door was completely shut for him on babies, was making Billie rethink that.

She definitely needed to talk to Conrad before she answered anymore of Gigi’s questions.

“Sweetie,” she said to Gigi. “Can we talk about this some more tonight? We’re definitely going to talk about it, as much as you want, but we only have a couple of hours with everybody. Do you want to spend your time with Sammie and the boys talking about this?”

Gigi looked reluctant, but her eyes flew to Sammie, who waved at Gigi from down the table. And Gigi nodded. Billie ran a hand over her soft blonde hair again, desperate to feel connected to the little person who owned Billie’s entire heart. Gigi didn’t pull away, and the tight knot inside Billie’s stomach loosened.

“So, I’m thinking we’re long overdue for one of our spa trips,” Kid said in a cheerful tone.

“Please go,” Bell said to the table at large. “If you don’t, she makes me.”

“Relaxation and self-care are the best medicine,” Kit said.

“So I’ve heard,” Bell said. “And been told. Many times.”

The rest of brunch was a blur for Billie. She knew they discussed the spa trip. She was relieved that Gigi had started to come back out of her shell after some talk of mud baths. The idea of getting muddy on purpose was just too intriguing, Billie supposed. And she knew that everyone stayed long past when they had planned to leave. But the details were foggy at best in Billie’s brain as everyone piled out the front door.

And when Conrad and Billie started cleaning up the kitchen, Gigi climbed onto the sofa, quiet as a mouse. Conrad was silent, too, as he loaded dishes in the dishwasher. But Billie wouldn’t let herself think about that.

One sad Hawkins at a time, Billie reminded herself.

And then a sad Billie. Because she was definitely in need of some alone time to think and process after all of that.

“That’s a lot to unpack,” Conrad had said.

Too true, my love, Billie thought at him silently, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on her.

But, first, Gigi. Nothing in the world was as soul-crushing as a sad Gigi.

“Sweetie, you want to put on some music?” Billie asked, pulling out her phone.

Gigi nodded, taking the phone without a word. She opened Spotify, knowing the apps by their thumbnails, but then she stalled.

“Want me to help you find some Miley?” Billie asked.

When Gigi nodded again, Billie clicked into recent plays and opened a new radio channel using “Party in the U.S.A.” (Because of course Gigi only enjoyed teenager Miley.) And then Gigi set Billie’s phone on the side table and hugged a pillow to her chest.

“I love you, sweetie,” Billie whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of Gigi’s head.

“Breaking out the big guns with the Miley,” Conrad murmured as Billie came to hover a few feet away from him.

They were the first words he had spoken since their guests had left. Billie wasn’t sure what to say to him.

“It’s her favorite,” she said. “This week anyway.”

“And you hate old school Miley Cyrus,” Conrad pointed out. “I believe your exact words were ‘It’s like she’s throwing up in my ears.’”

“I said that about Hannah Montana.”

“What’s the difference?” Conrad asked, confused. Then he held up a soapy hand. “Wait. Don’t tell me. I think I’m happier not knowing.”

“Likely,” Billie said. Silence crept back between them, and Billie couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m going to take a bath.”

Without waiting for his response, Billie glanced at Gigi, who was pretending not to pay any attention, and made her way up the stairs. The sound of Miley blared from the surround sound speakers, drowning out her steps on the stairs. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that Conrad followed her, but somehow when she pushed the door open and walked into the bedroom, she assumed she was alone until he spoke behind her.

“Can we talk about this?” Conrad asked, pushing the door shut, quietly enough Gigi wouldn’t hear over the music.

She opened her mouth, intending to tell him that yes, of course, and it was up to him. She hadn’t realized that other, different words were bubbling up inside her until they began to spill out.

“I haven’t bought furniture because it doesn’t make sense to,” Billie said, as if continuing a conversation that they had already been having. “You already have a house full of furniture, and we’re going to move in together.”

“I know,” he said. “That’s why I’ve been so calm about you going dark on it for five months. If it wasn’t a done deal, you’d at least have a desk by now.”

“I just need to get out of my own way,” Billie muttered.

“You’re taking your time on a huge decision,” Conrad said. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m the one leaping in with both feet.”

“I love that about you,” she said in a chiding tone.

“I know,” he said, with a semblance of his usual cheeky grin. Then it faded away. “Billie, you’re it. We’re it. There’s no rush on anything other than me wanting it all to happen as fast as possible.”

Then why doesn’t he want to marry you? the nasty voice said, rearing its ugly head again.

Because that would be batshit crazy, she told the voice. We’ve been dating for seven months. Shut the hell up.

Conrad’s voice was thick. “What are you thinking about?”

“I never wanted to get married,” she said.

Conrad winced and dropped his gaze to the floor. She couldn’t tell if the wince was because he dreaded discussing this, or if her phrasing had been harsh.

In case it was the latter, she corrected herself. “I mean, I never actively wanted it. Even when we were little, we planned Nic’s wedding a thousand times, and she married my stuffed panda, Jorge, about seven hundred. He was huge. He made a great groom. But I never wanted to plan mine.”

“Who did she marry the other three hundred times?” Conrad asked, crinkles fanning out from the corners of his eyes.

“She had this elephant,” Billie said. “I can’t remember his name.”

“Too bad.”

She licked her lips. “Similarly, I never wanted kids. The experience with Trevor probably had a lot to do with that,” she admitted. “But then I met Trevor. And I got to have Gigi in my life. And, suddenly, that wasn’t such a firm stance.”

His hands found his hips as his eyes locked on her face with an intensity that should have been daunting. But it wasn’t.

“I’ve been hesitating because I don’t want us to live in my house,” she said. “I want us here, but I can’t seem to get past thinking of this as Nic’s home. Even though it feels like my home, too.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

“I know,” he murmured.

“Being with you has made me… not as opposed to marriage,” she said. “Not that I was opposed before. I just never really saw the need.”

Conrad’s lips quirked, and his eyes danced at her. She thought she saw a bit of giddy relief in his face. “I get that,” he said.

“No, you don’t,” Billie said on a relieved laugh of her own. “You planned two weddings. You always wanted to be married.”

“That,” he said with wide eyes, “is not true. Katherine… well, that was… I’m going to stop talking. Please finish.”

“Good call,” Billie murmured.

But he knew she was only joking and would let him talk through the debacle with Katherine whenever he wanted. And he had, both when they were still just friends and after they were together. Billie and Conrad were very much on the same page about their pasts. So, he sidled a few steps closer.

“I know that you married Nic believing she was end game. That there would never be anyone else,” Billie said, softly cradling his gaze with hers.

His eyebrows came together. She heard him swallow.

“And I just want you to know that it’s not some sort of expectation with us. I want you, and I want Gigi. That’s my whole world.”

His face melted a little, and he opened his arms wide for her. It only took her two steps to cross the distance between them. He put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her as close as he could get her and still be two bodies.

“I have absolutely no idea what I did to deserve you,” Conrad said. She opened her mouth to argue, and he cut her off, saying, “It’s my turn.”

She nodded reluctantly.

“Let’s sit,” he said, letting go of her, but entwining their fingers together.

They settled at the foot of the bed, inches apart.

“I mentioned kids once,” he said. “And you told me to put a pin in it because it was a long way off, if ever.”

As he said it, a vague memory surfaced. She had been so caught up in the piece about the house that the mention of “more kids” had barely registered at the time. She couldn’t even remember what she had said back.

“Oh right,” she said, squinting into a middle distance. “Huh.”

Conrad’s smile was fleeting. “I love you,” he muttered. “You’re right that I thought Nic was it, forever, the last woman I would ever love. But she wasn’t.” He shrugged, a sad but affectionate twist to his lips. “I fell in love with you. And every piece of me loves you, even the part that loves Nic. I know that sometimes makes you uncomfortable, and I get that. I’m so sorry. Maybe if Nic hadn’t loved you as much as she did, I would find it uncomfortable, too. But it would still be true.”

God she loved this man. It hurt how much she loved him.

“I would happily marry you,” he said simply. “But I couldn’t even get you to agree to alternating weekends at your house, so I figured I’d put a pin in that discussion, too.”

Billie stared at him in shock. “You want to marry me?”

“Billie,” he said in that gravelly voice that did things to her insides. “I am making up for lost time here. We’ve talked about that.”

They had. They had talked about the intensity of his feelings once he had let the floodgates burst open—he had needed to talk about how overwhelming it felt and, in turn, make sure he wasn’t overwhelming her. He hadn’t been, but she had appreciated the check in.

And he had gotten very lucky that night.

Billie knew Conrad considered them forever. She knew that like her heart knew how to beat. They said it to each other all the time.

But… marriage? She had been so convinced he would never even consider it. And, yet, they were talking about it a mere seven months into their relationship. Somehow a baby was way less daunting, and that was a whole human life.

Conrad’s voice interrupted her spiraling thoughts. “See, that look of dread and panic on your face? That’s why I didn’t want to have this conversation yet.”

She couldn’t help but burst into laughter at that. He laughed along with her, though his had an edge of nerves to it that made her shore up her own spine.

She rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I know,” he said, then acquiesced and added, “I love you.”

“No. I love you,” she said into his shirt. “I love you like… big, epic love.”

“It’s disconcerting, right?” he said, unfazed.

“Very.”

“You get used to feeling a little dizzy and shaky every now and then,” he assured her.

She hummed and breathed in the scent of him—pine, musk, and home.

“Now, about those babies,” he said. “How many are on the table?”

A floaty feeling of weightlessness swirled around in her chest. “Why do you think any are on the table?” she asked, striving for a teasing tone.

“Because I’m sensing a lot less hesitation about the babies, and I could definitely do all of this out of order. That would be totally fine with me.”

“You really want this?” she asked, not quite letting herself believe it.

“Are you kidding? We’re so great at being parents.”

“We?” she asked on a scoff.

“Yes,” he said. “We. You and me. We’re Gigi’s parents, Billie.”

Between the two Hawkins, they were going to kill Billie. Like each of them was inflating little balloons of hope and love and wonder inside of her that might burst her open. And they were going to talk about that another time because she didn’t want to cry right then, not when he wasn’t finished talking.

He rested his cheek on her hair. “I really, really want this with you. As fast as possible. But as slow as you need to go.”

She nodded, thoughtful and introspective.

“You still with me?” Conrad asked.

“I want that,” she said simply.

Conrad stiffened, and she swore he stopped breathing. Then he said, “We could start trying today. Do you want to start trying today?”

“We’d need the addition,” Billie said instead of responding. “I don’t want Gigi sharing a room with a baby.”

“Two hundred thousand. Give or take. And they always take,” Conrad said ruefully.

She raised her head to blink at him. “What? To build it?”

“I had a contractor come out after you mentioned it. I wanted us to have all of our options.”

“That’s fine,” she said faintly. “I’m rich, remember?”

He laughed and tucked her hair behind her ear, thumb brushing across her cheekbone, calm and sure.

Billie stared as it started to sink in just how seriously he had been taking all of this, quietly in the background by himself. Conrad had a game plan, and that game plan involved babies. Plural. And he wanted to marry her, which she really wasn’t very sure about. The fact that he wanted it this badly, though, and was still more than willing to wait for her to catch up with him was so heartwarming and wonderful. It was…

So damn hot, she thought to herself.

Joy set off inside her like fireworks in her chest. She was going to get a baby, and Gigi would get a little sibling. And Conrad loved them both, and they were going to change the house and fill it with kids and make it theirs. And Nic would still be there, with them, but they would make it Billie’s, too. Everything was good in the world.

Conrad looked amused. “Are you thinking about taking my clothes off? You’ve got that look.”

“Do you think if we’re really quiet then we could—” She let her eyes slide to the bathroom door.

“Make love in the shower?” he asked. “Definitely. Let me just go start a movie for Gigi.”

“Lilo and Stitch,” Billie said, standing to pull off her shirt.

“And I will hurry,” Conrad said, stalling out as he eyed her lace bra.

“Conrad?” she asked, amused.

“Yes, right. Hurrying.”

~*~

“We need to talk to Gigi tonight,” Billie told him as they were toweling off.

Or, rather, she was toweling off. Conrad was dragging slow, sensual kisses over her neck and shoulders.

“You’re very distracting,” she said, as his hands got in the way of wrapping the towel around her body.

“Good,” he mumbled against her skin. Then he sighed. “I know. I don’t know how to explain all of this to her.”

“Me either.” She took a deep breath and said, “So, let’s start with facts.”

“Which ones?” he asked curiously.

“Fact, nothing is happening right now.”

Conrad followed closely behind her as she walked into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel. “But soon,” he said, pointedly.

“Fact, we don’t know if I can have a baby. So, first step is getting fertility testing done.”

“I bet I can get one in there,” he said, hand sliding to her belly. “With enough practice. Lots of practice.”

“Hilarious,” Billie said dryly.

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “But you know the chances of conceiving after forty only decrease. They don’t disappear entirely. It’ll probably just take longer. Which implies that we should start right away.”

“Didn’t we just do that?” she asked, pointing back at the shower.

“Yes,” he said, smug. “Yes, we did.”

You could be pregnant right now, the nasty voice was back.

That’s not how it works, Billie snarled back at it. I’m still on the depo.

But the voice had gotten under her skin. Her temperature dropped as her brain began to whir through all the stages of fertilization and implantation, all of which could legitimately be happening in her uterus.

“Oh my god,” she whispered. “We’re going to try to have a baby.”

“Yes,” he said, bemused. “I thought we agreed. Did we not agree? Are we still talking about it? Because that’s fine, but we did just have sex without a condom and birth control has been known to fail. You look green. Are you going to throw up?”

Depo is really reliable, Billie told her brain before the nasty voice could chime in again. It takes months to get pregnant after going off birth control. Sometimes over a year. Calm down.

Billie shook her head. “No, I’m fine. We agreed. I just can’t quite believe our six-year-old is who convinced us to try.”

“I keep saying that I can only hope Gigi continues to use her powers for good.”

“I’ll call my doctor tomorrow about fertility testing.”

“In the meantime,” Conrad said in a serious voice. “I think it would be beneficial to do more testing of our own.”

Because Conrad was somewhat of a jack-of-all-trades, who could absolutely be planning a round of blood tests and sonograms, it took Billie a long pause to understand that he meant sex. She huffed out an amused breath and shoved his shoulder.

“And move in together,” he added, like ripping off a bandage.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “We should get some quotes from movers.”

“Because if we’re going to have a baby then—”

Conrad cut himself off as her agreement sank in. Then a megawatt smile broke out over his face, and he wrapped gentle arms around her.

“Gigi and I should move in with you while we get the addition put on,” Conrad said. “Lord only knows how long that will take. They quoted six months.”

“You think Gigi would be okay with that?”

“We’ll soften the blow somehow,” he promised, amusement making his voice deeper.

“That’s where we start with Gigi,” Billie pointed out. She pulled back and clutched his shoulders. “We tell her that we might not be getting married, but we’re all moving in together.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, honey,” Conrad murmured to her. “But how is that going to be different than things are now? You’re here every night.”

“And we have to tell her it’s not forever,” Billie said. “That we’ll move back in here once the extra rooms are done.”

“Because heaven forbid we live in your big beautiful house,” Conrad said with a grin.

And she knew he was teasing but she was legitimately worried about Gigi. Their house was the only home Gigi had ever known, and Billie felt like she was yanking Gigi from it.

“Oh, god, Gigi,” Billie said, as she suddenly realized what was at stake. “What if I can’t get pregnant? And then we’d have broken her heart.”

“Gigi would survive,” Conrad said, kissing her on the cheek. “Plus, we could adopt. Or use a surrogate. We have options.”

Her heart squeezed. “You’d do that?”

“Of course,” he said, blithe.

The joy was back, coursing through her veins and spreading through her limbs.

“I want seventeen,” he continued. “But I have a feeling you’ll cut me off at five.”

“Two.”

“Four,” he countered.

“Three,” she said, indignant.

“Works for me. I’ll quit my job and become a house husband. I’ll moonlight with search and rescue, and you’ll be CEO.”

“Not that you’ve given this much thought at all.” She dropped her eyes to his chest. “But you’re okay if it’s just one more, right?”

“Of course,” he said, soothingly. “And I’d be happy if it’s just us and Gigi. But the more the merrier in my opinion.”

“I can’t do more than three,” Billie said, firm. “Total.”

Then she pictured them—three little girls with the same chins and noses, with big brown eyes, and cheeky grins. The floaty weightlessness was back in her chest.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” he murmured. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and moved to the dresser to pull out clothes.

She took a moment to anchor herself.

“And you’re okay putting a pin in the whole marriage thing?” she asked.

Conrad gave her an amused look as he pulled on a pair of jeans. “Are you?”

Relieved, she thought. To him, she said, “I don’t know if I want to get married.”

But she couldn’t quite decide if that was because she had never particularly wanted to, or if it was because he had already done it. Or it was a complicated mix of both. And her brain was tired, so she shoved the conflicting emotions away.

“That’s fair,” he said, voice achingly gentle.

We’re going to have a baby, she thought to herself. And they might have Conrad’s eyes. Or his hair. And they would definitely have his kindness and probably his sass—because even if they weren’t born with those, they would definitely learn those qualities quickly between Conrad and Gigi.

She had been watching him throw his jewelry back on, eyes roving over his bare chest and shoulders as the muscles rippled beneath his skin. She hadn’t realized she was so obviously drooling until he spoke again.

“One more round? Of fertility testing.”

“Yes, please,” she said in the prim voice she knew always turned him on and made him want to muss her up a bit.

He tackled her to the bed, mouth catching hers even as she laughed. When they were both breathing heavily, he pulled back and asked, “Hawkins-Sutton? Or Sutton-Hawkins?”

“I’m not hyphenating,” she said, dazed and panting against his face.

He sucked a kiss onto her neck, and then shushed her gently when she moaned just a little too loudly. They paused, straining to listen. No footsteps came up the stairs, so they relaxed.

“No, I know,” he said belatedly responding to her. “But for the baby.”

“Why would we hyphenate hers?”

“Hers?” he asked.

“You’re a Girl Dad, honey,” she said. She felt drunk. Was that from the feel of him against her? Or was that the happiness? “It’s your fate.”

He pondered that. “That sounds nice.”

“Exactly,” she said primly and watched his eyes darken in response. “Girl Dad.”

Conrad tugged on her towel and then growled when she giggled and held onto it. “Give me that,” he said, and she let go, letting him toss it across the room.

“But we should have her name match Gigi’s,” Billie said.

“But she needs to match you, too,” he said agreeably. “Sutton as a middle name?”

“Sure. And maybe, if we have the baby, I’ll take Hawkins.”

He stilled and pushed himself up on his forearms, hovering half over and half on top of her.

“You’d take my name?” he asked gruff. “I didn’t think you would do that.”

“I’d still use Sutton professionally,” she said. “I just like the idea of all of us matching. It’s cute.”

“You’d take my name?” he asked again.

“Yes, Conrad. I’d take your name.” She felt him shiver against her, and her brow furrowed. “Conrad?”

“That’s so unbelievably hot,” he said.

“I never thought you were that traditional,” she said, the words stilted in her astonishment.

“I’m not,” he said.

Billie eyed him. “Are you okay?”

“Today has melted my brain,” he said, dropping his face into the pillow her head was resting on. “I’m getting everything I want,” he said, voice muffled.

“I’m getting everything I want, too.”

He rolled his head, so that his lips brushed her ear. “Except the name. I don’t care about that.”

“Clearly,” she murmured.

“I just like that you want it.”

“If we have the baby,” she insisted.

“When,” he said.

Then, at the mention of this hypothetical baby, for whom they had already assigned a sex, Billie went icy cold again. “Oh my god. We’re going to have a baby.”

After a second, she realized Conrad was shaking on top of her. She reared back, terrified he was having a seizure, only to find him silently laughing.

“Excuse you,” she said.

“Today melted your brain, too.”

“I never thought I would be here,” she said.

“Happy?”

And she knew he was asking Are you happy? But the other meaning was true, too. She never really thought she would be. Content, yes. Fulfilled, yes. But she never dared to imagine happy.

“Perfectly,” she said.

“If we want to get a round of fertility testing out of the way, we better hurry,” Conrad said, looking at the clock. “Stitch has probably just been re-kidnapped.”

“You better work fast then, doctor.”

He smirked, leaning down and settling his lips on hers in the world’s most gentle touch. Three slow, lazy, languid kisses later, though, he raised his head again. She chased him for a moment, then let her head collapse back on the pillow.

“I’m going to call the contractor in the morning. I’ll get quotes on moving companies, too.”

Impatience swept through her. “Conrad, I am so glad you’re excited. I’m excited, too. Now shut up and kiss me before Stitch goes home.”

“Yes, Mrs. Hawkins.”

“Oh my god,” she muttered. “Now I’m not taking your name just to spite you.”

“That’s fine. Because I’ll always know you wanted to.”

She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her.

[bisexualcell]

this post was about bela lugosi, boris karloff and conrad veidt

BUT I think people underestimate just how subjective horror can be and it’s ok honestly if Jason Lives isn’t as scary as The Fly, because it’s fun. I saw a guy get turned into a folding chair. This isn’t a defense of badly made bland horror though. boo

"this horror movie wasn't even that scary 🙄" im sorry but sometimes a horror movie can just be fun. or sexy