#NOW WE HAVE 4 PARENTS HERE WTF THIS IS GREAT

[csainzoperator]

baby : CL16 ☆

summary: y/n horner has dropped a new single. its a sexy and fun song. but y/n had broken up 4 years ago, and since then there was one superhit album with a sad and shady vibe. new year, new y/n? or new man? let's find out.

(charles leclerc × singer!reader)

trigger warnings: sexual intendos, typos (tried my best to not make any)

face claim: barbara palvin

read more under the cut!

y/nusername has posted!

hi, lovers. i know its been quite a while since you've heard from me but hey! i'm back and my single "baby" is dropping on friday, 8/12/23. stay tuned for more updates. love you all always, i thank each one of you as i wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys 💋

liked by taylorswift, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 928,712,821 others

christianhorner proud of you, darling ❤️

- gerihalliwellhorner WE are proud of you (the spice girl inside me is squeaking)

landonorris GO BESTIE

- y/nusername ILY DUMBASS

carlossainz55 all the drivers can't wait for this! (we all are disgusted on the inside)

- y/nusername 🤭🤭

- estiebestieee GIRL WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

- y/nloverrr stop....DOES THAT MEAN THE DRIVERS HAVE HEARD THE SONG ALREADY

- pierregasly 🤐

y/nfann YOU LOOK SO PRETTY

paddockclubb y'all wondering if the drivers have heard the song when i'm out here questioning reality cos CHARLES LECLERC HAS LIKED THIS POST.

it was the end of season lunch and you were kind of nervous as you would finally be telling your parents about charles and you. your friends were thrilled but you just didn't know how your father would react.

the heavenly creatures and godly people had given you a blessing. BECAUSE NO WAY IN HELL YOUR FATHER KNEW ABOUT IT ALL ALONG?

"you aren't letting him in on any red bull secrets now, are you?" your father questioned you. and you replied right back, with mock seriousness. "you mean have i told him how max cuddles his cats and how checo never stops talking about mexican food? yes dad i've kept that a secret." your boyfriend lets out a chuckle as you finish your sentence, squeezing your thigh below the table.

"aww maxie you're a softie at heart" lando teases him as max glares at you playfully. the brunch was a success and you just couldn't wait to get back to the hotel with charles because, oh dear lord. he looked absolutely ravishing. divine. sublime even. and he knew what was on your mind, the way his hands kept brushing yours, his soft kisses when no one was looking. you felt it all.

y/nusername has posted!

fancy hotel but this is how we showed up 🤞🏼 liked by christianhorner, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 99,827 others.

landonorris oooh who's that hot man

- y/nusername carlossainz55 come get your child

- carlossainz55 my apologies

- carlaaaando EXACTLY WHO IS THAT MAN

charles_leclerc 🌟

y/nusername has liked this comment

- f1wags WTF ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS.

- estiebestiee if y/n and charles are a thing. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS 🖐🏼

y/nloverr OK BUT THE UPGRADE THO. from that trash guy 4 years ago to charles mfkin leclerc 🙏🏼

it was the big day. your single was about to drop today and your boyfriend was lying down on your lap, telling you how he would LOVE to tell the world that the song was about him. you agreed, it was about him. he slowly got up and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting his hands slip under your shirt.

"aren't we getting cheeky now, mr leclerc?" you teased. "oh we are just getting started, baby" he mumbles as he kisses down your neck. and just like that, he made your big day much more special by his, let's say, needy touches.

y/nusername has posted!

"baby" out now on all platforms! enjoy streaming. sending kisses 💋 liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lewishamilton and 288,718,123 others.

y/nfannn "baby, baby, do i taste like candy, sugarcoated he says i'm the most sweet" UM GUYS????? I'M NOT OK 🖐🏼

landonorris great song ig 🙄

- y/nusername oh cmon we all know you love it

lewishamilton great job, sis. got a sick beat 🖤

y/nusername has liked this comment

f1wags GUYS. I'M 100% SURE THAT'S CHARLES' BACK.

- carlandooo RAH STOP I'M WEAK IN MY KNEES RN

y/nloverrr "i'm a handful but, that's what hands are for. pin me to the floor, treat it like its yours" SCREAMING YELLING KICKING MY FEET IN THE AIR GN. she ate that up 🙏🏼

charles_leclerc 🤭

charles_leclerc has posted!

"baby" is ab me. y'all can cry now 🤭 liked by y/nusername, arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 287,112,123 others.

y/nusername i love you, baby.

- charles_leclerc NAH. i love you more.

- y/nusername shut up, i will kill every person who says against me, i love you more.

- charles_leclerc wow look at you making me all scared AND getting me horny at the same time.

landonorris UM. I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.

pierregasly THERE ARE KIDS ON THIS APP.

maxverstappen1 why y'all acting like we didn't know since ages. anyways. *pretends to be shook* CONGRATS GUYS!

y/nleclercfan PARENTS 🤞🏼

lechairrr y/n basically told us how good charles is in bed by her song 😭

f1wags HAH. I KNEW IT. I SAW IT COMING BUT I'M STILL SO SHOOK RN?????

scuderiaferrari red looks good on you guys ❤️

the end ♡

[cherriesformatt]

9 months || matt sturniolo part 3

matt x fem!reader

summary: just how you and matt figured out life during your pregnancy

warings: pregnancy, suggestive, being sick

word count: 2,2k

a/n: guys thanks so much for all the notes 🥹 means a world to me and 100 followers wtf 🍒ily im not that proud of this one. Let me know if I should still keep going with the next part. Didn’t proofread yet!

The doctor said I couldn’t fly till my second trimester. I was really sick and pregnancy wasn’t easy on me. So we decided that we will wait to tell our families because we really wanted to tell them in person. Chris and Nick were great with keeping the secret. No one besides 4 of us knew. Even Laura and my boss didn’t know. I worked from home so I was able to do my job even when I wasn’t in my best form.

I had basically 3 babysitters now. Matt, Chris and Nick treated me like glass and to be honest sometimes I liked it (mostly when I was rotting on the couch and needed a snack) but most of the time I just yelled at them that I really could do everything without them staring at my soul.

When I was so sick all the time Matt decided that I should just stay with them for now. But the next thing I see is him moving my entire apartment here. I was pretty minimalistic so I didn’t have too much stuff. I just didn’t extend my rental and decided that would be for the best now.

My doctor said I was clear to fly when I was 16 weeks pregnant. So we organized trip to Boston. Sooner than later because I was starting to show and also because I already felt better. I gave up and started taking meds to stop being so nauseous. Every time I would try to gave them up everything would just make me sick.

Justin picked four of us from the airport and I took a passenger seat in the van. The flight was pretty good. I was just tired. The car had an air freshener and it’s smell just make my stomach flip.

“Oh no” I said and released I did not take my meds in the plane because I was sleeping. And also I couldn’t find them in my bag.

“Justin pull over …please” I kept my hand on my mouth.

He looked at me and when he saw me he momentarily did pull over to the side and I just jumped out of the car and threw up. I felt my hair being hold and a gentle hand rubbed my back.

“It’s okay baby… just let it all out” Matt said with his voice being worried.

When I was done I rinsed my mouth with water that Matt gave me and looked at him.

“This air freshener gotta go” I said quietly but he did take it out before I got back in.

“What are you pregnant or something, kid?” Justin looked at me jokingly but I only smiled at him awkwardly.

That’s how he found out.

MaryLou, Jimmy and boys grandma found out because Chris couldn’t keep his shit together.

“No she doesn’t drink” Chris said after their dad offered me my favorite wine. I was the only one who would usually share a glass or two with them and Justin. I was also over 21.

“How come? That’s your favorite” Jimmy said but I just looked at Matt.

“O fuck I’m so sorry” Chris said realizing but it just made it worst. We had to tell them now and then.

“So we came here… not only because we missed you but also to share some news with you all” Matt said really calmly.

“We’re having a baby” He aded looking at his parents and I just gripped his hand really hard.

“Oh my…” MaryLou said and she stood up and came to us and just gave us both a hug.

“You won’t believe this… but what I told Jimmy when you went to drop your bags upstairs. I said something is different… and you honey.. you’re glowing” She looked at me and honestly I couldn’t see that but I heard that a lot lately.

“What can I say…. I didn’t expect that so soon but congratulations kids” Jimmy came up to us as well and gave Matt a reassuring shoulder squeeze and I got a big smile.

“Oh Matty… I always knew you’re going to be the first one to give me great grandchildren” Their grandma smiled at us and Matt just went to her and gave her a big hug.

Rest of the night we spend watching their old videos and baby photos and I just cried so many times. Because I realized I couldn’t wait to have the baby here with us.

They took the news so well and I was really stressed about it because at first I was always worried about being older than Matt and now I’m also older and pregnant.

But they just always made me feel like home here and the rest of the trip just went so well. Talking to someone with so much experience gave me just more power to get through it all.

Then we did my family after coming back from Boston. I didn’t want to put myself out for such a long flight. Since my family was back in Europe. So we did what I dreamed about since I saw that commercial back when I was in middle school.

“Everyone…I want you to meet someone” I said while we were on a family group chat FaceTime.

I stood up and Matt readjusted the screen so it was on my belly. Which I swear was just bigger everyday. I felt like weight was lifted off my body, because not telling my mom and siblings about that was hard. Everyone freak out and I needed to answered 100 questions but luckily my mom didn’t make us say we will get married before the baby comes.

Half way through we were just getting really excited and everyone knew. Everyone except the whole Internet. But honestly that wasn’t to hard to keep from. We always did keep our relationships private and I wasn’t that much on social media so it was alright.

Also that was the time when I just couldn’t resist Matt. I honestly felt like jumping his bones 24h and I’m not even kidding. That was his favorite part of me being pregnant.

We also did decide that we rent a house that went in the market in the same neighborhood that the triples lived now. And we got the house so we started to renovate it like we wanted it. Boys were happy that it’s literally next doors but also it’s our own space that we would need to learn to have.

Nick was filming and photographing all weeks of my pregnancy. At first I didn’t like it because I was camera shy. I usually worked behind it. And now when I’m looking at Polaroids he made me take every week. They made me so happy.

“I love the name Noah” Matt said while his head was on my boobs and his hand on my belly.

I smiled. We didn’t want to know the gender till birth so while we talked to the baby we just called it “peanut”.

“I actually love it too… and we could do N O A H for a boy and N O A” I said and he looked at me so happy that I liked his idea.

Me and Madi would go shopping sometimes and all we did was just buying baby stuff. Most of the stuff I got were the ones I’ve learned from birth classes. I was obsessed with reading all the books about newborns and every now and then I’ll see Matt reading them too when he was not working.

One afternoon Chris came back from his meeting and he was so excited. He handed me w bag and I opened it.

“Chris are you kidding me? I’m going to cry” I put two mini sets of fresh love on the table. One was blue and one was pink.

“That’s the cutest thing that I have ever seen” I hugged him tightly.

“That’s from your favorite uncle kid your first outfit” He said looking at my belly and I froze because I felt a movement inside. First time ever so hard.

“Oh fuck… that was so weird” I said.

“What happened?” Chris stepped away from me.

“The baby is moving and I can feel it so well! Oh my gosh it did it again!!”

“Can I feel it?” Chris asked clearly exited.

“Yes..give me your hand” I said and I put his hand where I last felt it. And when the baby did it again I looked at him.

“Did you feel it?” I asked and he just looked at me with his eyes wide open .

“I did… a little.. that’s so weird… bro you’re a hero” he said.

“What’s that screaming all about?” My boyfriend joined us in the kitchen.

“I just made your baby kick!” Chris said.

“Oh my goodness are you just gonna claim it on yourself?” I laughed.

“What?” Matt came up to me and put his hands on my belly.

I readjusted them and looked at his eyes.

“Now…she did it again” I said and his eyes widened.

“That’s… wow” he said.

“I know” I whispered.

“You also just called Peanut a “she”” Matt smiled.

He knew I was having dreams about us having a daughter. That was another thing since I was pregnant. I had so many vivid dreams.

“Oh that was an accident…” I said.

After my 32nd week we had everything ready in our house and we started to sleep there and hang out. I worked there too. I had my little office. But I started to be really tired so I took my time off. Matt was really happy about it. Because we had more time to spend together, just two of us before there was a three people in the pack.

He was just perfect. He would rubbed my feet when they were swollen and give me a massage every night. He talked to my belly so much and just loved us both to the moon and back. All this time it was really hard for us but he made it so easy in the same time.

When I was freaking out the day my waters broke. He just packed a car and kept his cool. He was beside me every second. His brothers and our moms outside the delivery room.

“That’s a nice one if I’m going to have my baby to this song I might actually name it skies” I said in between taking my deep breaths. I let everyone be part of my delivery day playlist. Lil Skies was currently playing for the 7th time.

“Oh please baby” Matt laughed and rubbed my back as I rolled myself on the ball trying to get through my constructions.

When it came to actual pushing I thought I’m gonna kill everyone in the room. I decided that I wanted to give birth in water. So when I was ready we moved to the pool that nurses got ready.

Matt was siting behind me telling me sweet nothings while I was screaming and holding his hands so hard that I’m pretty sure blood couldn’t get to them.

While I heard crying in the room that wasn’t mine. Everything just went away. All the pain. They put the baby on my chest and I hold it.

“It’s a girl…” One of the nurses said and I kissed her temple. She was so little.

“We have a daughter…” Matt whispered as he hold as both. Both of us crying at this point and just couldn’t believe it.

“She is perfect” I whispered and touched her little nose.

“You both are, you’re a hero” Matt kissed my head.

When they took her for check up. Nurses helped me to get myself together while Matt went to take a shower. Took him 5 minutes because he was scared to miss the moment they will bring her back. I actually couldn’t keep my eyes open after they gave me pain meds I just passed out.

When I woke up there were flowers, balloons and gift bags everywhere. And I saw Matt at the corner of the room with little Noa on his bare chest.

“Matty…” I whispered.

He looked at me and stood up holding her. He was so natural about it.

“Look mama is up” He gently placed her in my open arms and I looked at her. I could just stare at her forever.

“Is everything okay? What’s all of this?” I asked quietly.

“Both of you are great, you slept some time, you deserved it, I send everyone home after they saw Noa for a little bit. That’s all form the favorite uncles apparently” He said with a big smile.

“They’re crazy…come here on the bed” I said and moved a little. He did as I said and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Thank you…she’s so perfect” Matt said and kissed my cheek.

“Well we did it together I just had more work” I laughed.

He did too and Noa opened her eyes and looked at us. But didn’t cry. She really was perfect. Well she was a Sturniolo after all.

That’s all I needed. My little family.

[peachym00]

stream of 4 minutes consciousness...

this is just a record of all my stupid and deranged thoughts while I watched 4 Minutes Ep 1 lmao

I might do this every ep and then compare everything I wrote down at the end of the series🤔

If you so care to witness my stupidity then spoliers below (duh)

People are DYING WTF?!???? AT 11?!??

Omfg Great/Bible has a NIIICCCEEEEEE back….and room?!?? He rich rich

oh wow half naked man with a cat and he’s speaking English holy hell

Oh he’s freaking out in a lift

BAS/KORN IS HERE and he’s rich rich like Great lmaooo

Korn has a shady father

OH KORN AND GREAT ARE BROTHERS

Ok Great we know ur rich with a nice car but why are you GOING AT A MILLION MILES AN HOUR and look now you’ve HIT SOMEONE

HIT AND RUNS ARE ILLEGAL GREAT

okay so he’s going forward in time 4 mins???? The woman isn’t dead???????

PAHAAHAHA now he drives slowly

The woman is still alive???? And crying?!?! Oh shit she ran in front of HIS CAR?????????? But this time he’s calling an ambulance GOOD BOY GREAT

JES/TYME AND JOB/DEN DOCTORS YES PLS job is so cute wtf

okay Tyme is a training surgeon or something and he’s so cut throat

DEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUSHING HIM AGAINST THE WALL LIKE THAT

Korn you are into some shady business my dude.. is this mafia I smell??? Online gambling???? Making millions in minutes????? What goes on

FUCK I WAS WATCHING THE WRONG ONE NO WONDER THE CIGARETTES WERE BLURRED OUT PAHAHAHAHAHHA

Okay we’re back in business and Korn does NOT look like a happy bunny in that weird little gambling den

AND I ????? KORN HAS A SUGAR BABY??????? Aw they’re kinda cute

OMFG I TAKE THE CUTE BACK JFC it’s only episode one KORN CALM THE FUCK DOWN

THE DUREX HAHAHAHAHAHAH omfg WHAT AM I WATCHING that’s insane levels of horn 21+ for reals

OMGGGGGGGGG

Okay that was the most insane realistic sex scene I’ve EVER SEEN IN A THAI SERIES IM SCEAMINGJDJDJHD

there’s a lot of bare butts in this how glorious

ANOTHER ROUND never mind cock blocked by the parents

Thunder and a black cat..how ominous

Omg why is Great taking his plate to the end of the table like that lmao Seems like he doesn’t like his parents?????

Why smoking bad if it look so hot

YEAH GREAT LISTEN TO UR PHI DON’T SMOKE

aw they have a nice relationship

Oh they’re step brothers??

Tyme and his grandma are so effing adorable

Oohhh that woman is back on the road and and dying AND IT WAS JUST A DREAM

Great has impeccable fashion sense

Oh he's visiting the woman who ran in front of his car…HES 21 wtf

OMFG AND HE MEETS TYME oh the future thing is happening again

OH AND THEY MEET AGAIN PAPERS FLYING EVERYWHERE

and that's the ending… Jesus that was a good first ep

but I still haven't forgottten about the DYING PART?!?!?!?

[theforgottenmcrmy]

live reactions to house of the dragon season 2, episode 4

spoilers beneath the cut

Starting off with Ghost Hunter Daemon (TM pending)

More young Rhaenyra!!!

OMG

Nah is this HOTD or a f’ing psychological horror film?!?!

Just how long has Daemon been hanging out in Harrenhal?

Poor Oscar’s face at Daemon’s suggestion😂😂😂

Are we getting Bloody Ben this ep?👀

Rhaenys can see Corlys in Alyn’s face. 100%.

I can only hope Corlys’s affair happened before he was with Rhaenys. They truly seem to care for one another.

Funny how last Lord Velaryon goes from fully supporting Rhaenyra to referring to her as “that woman”.

SHIT, the stone dragon’s head falling off- freaking foreshadowing…

Alicent, idk if I’d be asking questions you’re not sure you want the answers to.

Alicent using moon tea after having her own affair with a the Captain of the King’s Guard. Young Alicent would be rolling in her grave.

Finally, Corlys get some control here.

See, Criston Cole could at least be referring to Rhaenyra as “Princess.” Calling her “the Whore of Dragonstone” so publically speaks volumes about his character.

“You’re not fit for the white cloak.” Lord Darklyn spitting out FACTS.

“Yours will come in kind.” DAMN RIGHT IT WILL. And it can’t come soon enough.

Cole avoiding Harrenhal because he knows who’s waiting for him there 🤭

“That castle is more crippled than I am, Your Grace.”😂😂😂

Aegon is definitely echoing Joffrey here, with wanting to know exactly what his council knows and has been up to.

Ooo, Aegon vs Aemond seeds here…

“The two of you have been plotting without my authority?” Yes.

Between last episode and Aemond speaking Valyrian here, they must be feasting👀

Aemond speaking Velyarian with ease, Aegon not so much…

Aegon’s a monster, don’t get me wrong, but objectively speaking, I have to feel for someone in his position. He’s an actual puppet. He didn’t want this, but they made him take it. And now that he has it, everyone’s trying to take the actual power from his hands. You almost have to pity him.

Bruh if Alicent is pregnant I stg…

Larys is such a creep, I cannot. Matthew Needham is so great.

What in the awkward love triangle is going on here…

I’m calling it right now, somehow, some way, Larys is going to play a role in Criston Cole’s death.

Alicent doing research to verify if Rhaenyra was telling her the truth😭😂

Some editor out there PLEASE use Alicent’s speech here about “the significance of Viserys’s intentions died with him” years from now, when the series is complete. It will hit so hard.

Like, I get Harrenhal is haunted and Daemon is being targeted, but I just find it a bit difficult to believe that he truly is just *hanging out* and getting haunted instead of more actively trying to meet with lords and get soldiers. In my opinion, i think the writers are asking a tad bit too much of the viewers here. Have Daemon make progress during the daytime, only to be haunted and have setbacks at night. We’ve been led to believe he hasn’t been able to actually accomplish much at all yet.

How’d he know she was a strong?😂

Alys is a cat playing with her trapped mouse Daemon.😂

Maybe Alys is really Larys’s daughter. They both have a knack for creating chaos and taking advantage of whatever situation they find themselves in.

Willem Blackwood?!?! As in the young boy who slayed the Bracken at Storm’s End during Rhaenyra’s tour all those years ago?!?!

Lmao, the Blackwoods hate the Brackens so much, they’re really out here asking Rhaenyra and Daemon to finish off the Brackens first and THEN they will pledge themselves to her cause.😂😂😂

Aegon, this is a small council meeting, not a minstrel gathering for your entertainment.

Lmao, the frat boy king’s guards shoulder checking each other.

Aegon: I’m the king.

Alicent: … OK? … and?!

Alicent trying some tough love parenting, too bad she’s about 10 years too late.

Ser Gwayne is really like “I did NOT sign up for this, wtf?🤨”

Goodness, episode is already more than halfway over and we’re just now seeing Rhaenyra😅

Jaceeee, that is your MOTHER. I’d mind your tone.

Good, we want the Rhaenyra who means business. 🔥

Rhaenys😭😭😭 I’m already tearing up and she’s only just volunteered to go to Rook’s Rest. I will not survive this.

Rhaenyra telling Jace about the Song of Ice and Fire 💔

PLEASE, Rhaenys’s head gear being reminiscent of tiara- stoppp.💔💔💔 QUEEN.

I’ll probably say this every episode, but the music always slays. ALWAYS.🖤

Chills. And we’re only just starting.

Vhaegar was like, “oh, not yet? Fine by me.”

Cole really should have pursued a career in public relations instead with that little speech.

Idk if I can even watch this, because of the dragons suffering… the visuals, the sounds. it’s too much. I don’t think I’ll be able to rewatch these parts again.

Aegon realizing he was caught in the collateral damage…

Noooo, Rhaenys, you could have fled😭💔

Lmao, all the ground fighting just stops to watch the dragons fight instead.

Night night Cole.

Rhaenys having a SECOND oppurunity to flee, and yet not doing so…

You can tell she knows how this ends😭

Rhaenys, going out like a true Dragonrider… just like her beloved daughter always wanted for herself.

It was very rough seeing the dragons go at each other, but I’m comforting myself with the fact that Meleys and Rhaenys went out with each other, and that neither had to truly outlive the other.

Cole seeing just how replaceable he truly is. It’s what you get. *middle finger*

Will Cole have a moment here? Maybe rethink a lot of his life’s decisions? Or will he learn nothing from his very close brush with death?

OMFG. I WILL NOT BE CONVINCED AEMOND WOULDN’T HAGE ENDED AEGON IF COLE HADN’T BEEN THERE…

Wow, Cole actually preventing a kinslaying. It’s been a longggg time since he’s gotten a point in the good column.

…

…

…

Overall, I’m honestly a bit distraught from the events. The battle was very well executed, don’t get me wrong, but also was extremely tough to watch/listen to.

And just life that, the season is halfway over already😭

“Bend the knee to ME, or your house burns” THAT’s why the trailer with that audible clip was so rough sounding…

Regent Aemond is coming… don’t get me wrong, he’s crazy, but he’s playing the long game. You have to give me points for that.

[fantasticalchaos]

The First Thronecoming

Chapter 4: Absence of Leave

Summary: “There is plot” the narrator whispers, typing up this chapter. “More specifically, side-plot!” In which, at the dead of night, there is something else going on in the background. A call for a peculiar leave of absence. But for what? [Crossposted on AO3, Inspired by SayuriCorner’s TWST x EAH AU & LovelyLlama’s Thronecoming Headcanons]

A/N: Sorry for not posting Chapter 4 in the usual format I do here on Tumblr! I was busy crossposting these works onto here cause 1) in case AO3 crashes (which it did) and 2) because enjoyment on other platforms!

P.S: (09/15/24) THE AO3 IS DOWN AGAIN!!! AND I FORGOT TO POST THIS ONE LOL! Also I had to reuse the version that I saved in docs since the website is down 😅

EDIT: WTF ITS BACK WHEN I POSTED LMAOOO 😂

⬅️ Ch. 3 | AO3 | Ch. 5 ➡️

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡═*.·:·.✧✦✧.·:·.*═⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾

[Location: Headmaster Office]

Even late at the dead of night, the elegant beauty of the Headmaster’s Office never fails to impress those in there. The flickering glow waving off the candles and chandelier. The paintings of the Great Seven smiling proudly in their shining splendour and glory. Not even a speck of dust can be found at all here from the top to bottom!

{Such elegance indeed! How befitting for a headmaster of such a prestigious academy!}

“What do you two mean that you are having a break for the next few weeks?!”

And there is the Headmaster with his hands raising in the sky. Crowley blubbers inelegantly through his sobs. Tears swelling and spilling onto his desk. A smooth wooden desk, now dampened by tears.

{Very unfitting his appearance and status as a Headmaster…}

“Why would two members of my dear, respectable staff want to leave?”

Sitting across his desk, is an elderly sorceress and a middle aged man. The elderly sorceress leans over and grumpily says to her colleague. Her cerulean blue eyes narrowed as she watches her crying supervisor.

“I knew we should’ve cursed him or better yet ditched when we had the time, Giles.”

“Now, now Baba Yaga,” the man whispers back gently, placing a hand on hers. “He’s a friend of mine, let me handle this.”

Baba Yaga rolls her eyes, but leans back in her chair. She lets him go at talking sense to the blubbering crow-man. Giles had a point; he and Crowley were long time friends. How far that friendship has surely been taken to the level where Giles is confident in dealing with this crow’s antics. Truly, Giles has the patience of a saint!

Giles turns to Crowley. The latter was touching up his tears with a handkerchief in his hand.

{Where in Ever After did he got that handkerchief?!}

I have no idea either Brooke! 🤷‍♀️

“It’s just a few days Dire, we won’t be gone for that long.” He reasons, tilting his glasses up in one hand. Giles places his other arm on the crying crow-man’s cloak. He gives a quick shoulder rub as his friend glances back up.

“But why?” The crow-man sniffles. Dabbing the last of the few teardrops with his handkerchief, he brings down his hand. “What could possibly be the reason for such a sudden, and long absence?”

{Okay, at this point this is starting to look like a parent consoling a child who’s about to go to work! Or on a business trip… Something along those lines.}

“Well, that is a little more complicated to explain….” Giles rubs the back of his neck. A slight nervous chuckle fell out. “We might as well show you for ourselves; Baba Yaga, the invites.”

He turns to Baba Yaga, who nods promptly.

Baba Yaga places 2 pieces of scrolls onto Crowley’s desk. The Headmaster tilts his head. Even with the upper half of his face obscured by his corvid skull-like mask, his neon yellow eyes glowed with anticipation.

Passing them over the table, the Headmaster picks up one of the scrolls. Indeed, there was a small attachment having both of the formers’ names (separately) on them. The scrolls, embalmed with a stamp in the shade of magenta. Upon the stamp, an etched logo of a mini key against a lock in the shape of a heart.

Unrolling both - one with his hand and the other with magic - the scrolls unwrapped themselves. Inside, the contents were as presentable as it was before. The handwriting, written so pristine and legible in its curves. Their strokes are sharp and to the point. There is even a small illustration of the same logo drawn and painted. Almost, just almost, this rivals that of the style of the Sea Witch.

“But of course, the Sea Witch does it better!” thought Crowley.

Headmaster Crowley began to read.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

To the addressed, Greetings! If you have received this message, you are royally invited to join as a newly appointed member to the Council of Ever After.

The Council of Ever After is founded as a community organisation filled with many fairytale representatives since the exile of the former Queen of the White Kingdom, Snow White.

Our mission is to explore beyond our destinies with new ideas in order to bring more life and freedom to everyone. In order to do this, we royally invite other fairytales such as yourself to help provide us with your enlightenment and wisdom. Moreover, we intend to reverse the damage of the original big bad destiny ideologies created and enforced by Milton Grimm and his associates.

We are well-aware that this will take time out of your schedule. Additionally, your newfound position will also require you to make more than one trip as well as stay longer in Ever After to fulfil your duties. Nevertheless, we have faith in you and your abilities!

Your attendance is fairy mandatory. Our first meeting with you will commence on XX/XX. The meeting will take place in the former Ever After High. Precisely at 8AM, so don’t be late when the bell strikes 8.

Fairest Regards,

Council of Ever After 🩷

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Everything went still for a moment.

It was peaceful. Agonizingly peaceful. All eyes were on Crowley, awaiting the verdict of these invitations. Crowley’s beady eyes blinked through his mask. His head bobbing slightly up and down the scroll a few times. Slowly, he pulls away the scroll, letting it rest neatly onto the table.

“I see…” He muses at last. His talon nails touch and tapped underneath his chin. “The Council of Ever After.. ”

So Ever After has a council to represent themselves now, huh? Not a king! Not a queen! Nor a group contained that of royal blood! A whole community of different tales ruling together!

Crowley remembered on the news that day! The day when King White (husband and Prince Charming to Snow White) refused the offer of ascension since the dethronement (and divorce) of his wife. After seeing what his daughter endured, he believes that they need to rest elsewhere.

Somewhere far far away from home. Additionally, he believes that it’s also his time to reflect on his distant relationship with Apple. Perhaps, by using this time, he could try to catch up and make time with one another. Just like old times once upon a time! For Apple’s sake!

{It was a giant field day for the news back home too, I’ll tell you that much!}

Oh shoot… I can’t imagine how chaotic narrating all of that was like.

{Yeah, and… I’m not supposed to say this here, but… There was also some high tea going around kingdoms about King White.}

Oooh~! What kind of tea?

{That he lack the skills in kingdom management compared to Snow. More speci-fair-ally, the more political and economical aspects of ruling a kingdom. At best, he can look the part, but not act it! There was more to the glitz and glamour towards managing a kingdom in of itself!}

…Oh my gosh. That’s huge!

{I know right?! A total major fairy-fail!

Anyways… The number of royalty that lives in the Ever After World is big, but not too common. Surely, there would have been a royal family willing to take charge in the former kingdom. Or at least siege an opportunity to form an alliance for a kingdom or two to share.

Instead, many tales decided to help one another in ruling. Ranging from those of royalty, to the lowly commonfolk and peasantry. Humans to fairies to mythical creatures that live out in the Enchanted Forest! All different classes, in rank and in species. Working altogether!}

And yet, only one thought racked through the crow-man’s brain.

“Oh Sevens, why can’t my students be more like this?” Crowley’s mind ponders, massaging his forehead. Quivering mentally like a parent lamenting over their own children and their shenanigans.

Even before the flourish of transfers, the NRC kids were a stubborn bunch. They snark at best, and argue or even throw hands at worst. Whenever they join hands and unite, there’s often something to gain for their own interests. Just a simple, personal matter that would benefit them.

Yes, there are a few students who are exceptions to this. Even the Prefect and their tanuki-cat he allowed were in charge (though mainly the former) of rounding up the troublemakers!

And yet, with all of these factors combine, there is high brewing of trouble! He can’t seem to figure out why nor how he can do more…

His students… Oh, his poor students.

{Oh the irony…}

The sweet irony…

Dire’s eyes looking over to Giles and Baba Yaga. Both eyes staring at him. One expectantly. The other impatiently.

“Well?”

“Well… as your benevolent headmaster, I suppose you two can go back to Ever After to fulfil your council duties.” He decreed, “Consider this jury duty! After all, you two were chosen for a reason.”

Sighs of relief came.

“Thank you so much, Dire!”

“Thank you Crowley!”

“Ah, by the way,” Crowley interrupted, “Did you two have signed-“

Plop!

“Already done it.” Baba Yaga stated matter of fact, slamming down pieces of paper onto his desk. “We already wrote our leave request a while ago. I brought an extra copy in case you forgot…”

An offended gasp came from Crowley, his talons touching his chest. How dare?!?

“Of course I didn’t forget! I am a very busy headmaster!” He defended with such emotion in his voice. Surprisingly, the most emotion since his outburst at the beginning. “What makes you think—”

Spritz of water flew onto and over his face.

“AH!”

He stands up from his seat. His talon-hands flare up and out. As he wipes off the excess water that went on his mask and outfit, Giles snaps his head to Baba Yaga. In her hand, is a spray bottle filled at the brim with water.

“Baba Yaga.” Giles placed his arms on his sides.

“What?” She defends herself, bringing her spray bottle closer to her. Her grip on the handle, on the other hand, remains set. “He was asking for it!”

Giles pinches his nose, tiredly sighing before getting up from his chair.

”It’s just plain water! He’ll live!”

“Doesn’t matter; Come on, and help me.”

With a begrudging sigh, she complied. She flew over and grabbed a towel and helped clean up the mess. Unwillingly. The mess that is not only on their boss, but also on his desk. And on the floor.

{Don’t forget his crocodile tears from earlier!}

Oh shoot, almost forgot about that! Thanks Brooke!

{Anytime!}

“So, I’m assuming that is everything?” Crowley asks, patting down the last spill on him. Both of which the two nod.

With a nonchalant wave in his hand, Crowley continued. “That will be all then! You both are dismissed.”

“Finally,” Baba Yaga blurts out loud. Not any hint of shame in her voice. The stool she is sitting on, turns away from her colleagues and towards the door.

Whatever it is telekinesis, magic, or some fairytale magical force that levitates her stool, it pulls the elderly lady up and away. As she enters the hallway, leaving the two behind. Not too far to hear, she makes a slight comment.

“Thought this meeting would never end.”

With the two left in the room, Giles coughs into his fist he made to get rid of the awkwardness. The tension in air, if you will.

“Oh, don’t mind her,” Giles rubs the back of his neck. His eyes downcast onto his shoes. “She means well, I’m sure.”

A curt nod from his friend came.

“Always having something good to say about others, isn’t it Giles.” Crowley complimented.

In his mind, however, another older man forms. That man is draped in a deep blue, one like the night sky devoid of light. A stern expression, one that lacked Giles’s warmth and whimsy. The golden eyes of the crown narrows.

Under his breath, he scoffed, “ Even to those who don't deserve it…”

“Indeed, Dire. You know me so well!” Giles said, unaware of his friend’s muttered quip. He waves a hand, his eyes shifting from his sneakers to the purple carpet.

“What can I say, I’m so kind after all!” Crowley puffs his chest out with a wide grin. His sense of pride swelling once again from such a compliment. His shoulders faltered as he heard his friend yawn.

“Well, it’s getting late!” Giles brushes a part of his hair away. Another heavy yawn escapes his mouth. He turns around, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dire!”

The sneakers padded through the carpet as Giles made his way to the doors. His hand lays itself onto the handle. In a quick swipe, he pulls the door handle.

The door opens.

. . .

..

.

“Giles.”

Giles stops. His feet a moment away from passing the door. He lifts his head over to Crowley. There was no smile on the latter’s face and tone. As if the joy was snuffed out of Crowley. Just a straight-lipped face looked unreadable. He almost feels like a different person entirely.

Hands gripping tight to his staff. Eyes studying Giles form intently from head to toe. Dire said, his face poised, “You and Baba Yaga be safe out there. It is an important job after all.”

The tone, calm and even. Yet at the same time, heavy. An anchor within an otherwise normal farewell. Almost too normal. Not many times does the Headmaster drop the dramatics.

This is one of those times.

And yet… Giles gives out a smile. A small, yet knowing smile underneath his greying beard.

“We will, Dire. No need to worry about us!” Was what came out of Giles as he turned away. With a wave, he added, “Farewell!”

The door shuts, and all is quiet once more. The invites and documents, being Crowley’s only company left. The headmaster sighs, sitting back down at his table.

“Goodbye Giles.”

Glancing out, pass through the painted frames and through the window. The night, clear and shimmering with dots and stars. All sparking at the moon, a waxing crescent with the rest obscured by darkness.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

[Later that night…]

Ring! Ring! Ring!

A grumble echoes as a figure arises from his bed. Their fluffy cat once rolled up like a cinnamon roll, now stirred up and awake. Lights illuminating the once dark room. They watched as their owner left their shared resting spot. Not wanting to be left out, the latter hops off and tails after them.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

The figure walks over to the ringing phone. When they reached it, they stopped in their tracks. The ringing continues ceaselessly, prompting the figure to massage their forehead.

“Great Seven… What time is it? Who would be calling at this forsaken hour?”

“Meow.”

Feeling one of their legs being wrapped in soft fur, they look down to see their cat purring up at them. The figure smiles a bit, feeling a sense of comfort and strength to deal with this minor setback.

Kneeling down, they picked up their cat in their arms. Cradling them as they took a deep breath. Their emotional support companion. They picked up the phone, bringing it to their face.

“Hello—”

“Why, good evening Trien!” Cheerful greetings phase on through the phone. Trien sighs at the voice. “How are you doing on this beautiful night?”

“Crowley, you better have a good reason for calling me late at night.”

On the other end of the phone, Crowley stilled. Sweat spilling from his forehead as he fiddles with his white collar.

“Ah, yes! I have an utmost reason to call you!”

“Tell me then, Dire.”

“…”

“Tell me, what could it possibly be to talk about at this ungodly hour?”

Perhaps the Headmaster realised that maybe… Just maybe totally this wasn’t a good time to tell Trien about the increased workload for the next coming days….

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡═*.·:·.✧✦✧.·:·.*═⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾

⬅️ Prev | Next ➡️

A/N: And that’s the last of the current chapters I have crossposted here! I’m so glad I have these here when the crash happened lol

I’ll be continuing on my writing the next chapter, so please be patient until the next one comes out! Thank you for reading! Until next time!

[jenyifer]

Last Twilight ep4 initial reaction

Well the hand touching scene made me cry? Wtf is wrong with me.

JimmySea have too much chemistry. It’s so simple the changes in MhokDay’s interactions from ep one but every touch every action. Mhok counting the steps show so much gentle love it makes me sick with envy. I thought Vice Versa was a masterpiece in the chemistry build but I’m proven wrong. JimmySea are made to play opposite of eachother. For me in my GMMTV official couple ranking I’m moving them up (excluding NeoMark because not official)

1. OffGun

2. JimmySea

3. EarthMix

4. PondPhuwin

5. FirstKhaotung

Okay let’s get onto the photo review

Jasmine is also my fave. Also I’m glad Day is falling so in love with Mhok. I feel like he took leaps and bounds in this episode. I’m so proud I’m so in love with his character. I ship him with happiness sassy vibes and mhok. It’d be easy to feel sorry for him but I feel like watching him fall in love is worth the pain he is going thru

Me too damn don’t call me out like that lyrics of that song I’m also a poor sad bad entity at heart also.. 😭

Mhok making happy memories in his sisters car is so fucking precious and important.

Day hard core moving Mhok into the friend zone EXCEPT TO HIS FRIENDS WHICH DID YOU CATCH THAT?! I’m sure you did you are very smart.

Beautiful Woman being angry hurt.

More Dangerous than Dangerous Romance is the new More Romantic than Twilight meme for me

Ugh pregnancy plot?! Noooooooooo. But also… JimmySea parents au? Might be hard for MhokDay but I’m sure they’d do great with a munchkin. Takes a village to raise a child and all.

Listen I’m a simple lesbian who grew up in a very homophobic place. Show me a rainbow and I’m gonna go crazy so… this song with the rainbows in the back just ughhh so beautiful. Doesn’t beat the Not Me scene but it’s up there for me.

Listen how many not kisses did we have this episode because it’s wild. Now I’m gonna be honest here I don’t like KBL JBL most of the time because of the lack of kisses and realistic intimacy (even if it’s hinted at it’s fine) HOWEVER last twilight has me blushing feeling like these boys be basically kissing just based on JimmySea’s chemistry. It’s insane. I won’t change this slow burn I’m savoring every moment.

💖💖💖

How fucking romantic I cried again.

[silvertws]

I may have watched all of the Descendants movies in one day.......

I'm ok guys, this is a sane thing to do.

Why Descendants if you may ask?

Because yes, songs are ok, Queen of mean is my entire gacha phase so I will of course watch it's origins ^^

Like, I could rant about them but like. You know.

I already forgot everyone's names.

Also wait wtf happened in the fourth movie??????? Where did our beloved golden retriever boy go??? Did he fucking die??? Are you kidding??? HOW WHY WHO DARED.

He was hands down the best character, I don't want to believe anything bad happened to him. No he's fine. I probably just misunderstood something... Right??? RIGHT????

I need to stop watching like, multiple movies from the same universe or an entire series in one day because like, emotions be emotioning.

Like, other than the fact that I taking down the barrier is literally the stupidest thing ever, because like, fine, you want to give the people who actually didn't do shit to have a chance to be normal.

BUT LIKE, YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, YOU'RE JUST- LIKE- WHAT IN THE EVERLASTING POWER OF FRIENDSHIP IS THIS?

I'm getting so worked up over some teens dancing and singing istg (nah jk, I love them they were great :3).

BUT LIKE BE FR.

Well, Twilight Sparkle would be proud ig.

Also like, so, all the Disney villains and heroes are there right? Something like that?

Also like.

WHY DID THEY MAKE THE DAUGHTER OF MULAN SO FUCKING PLAIN.

Nah like I'm sorry girl, I love you, but that energy in the second movie was not nearly enough screentime for you.

Like, she's the daughter of the most badass woman ever and the most badass man ever, there could literally be a whole movie about her maybe wanting to, unlike her mom, being more feminine and doing girly things because there's no war and so there's no need to train or some bullshit.

They could have gone the opposite way where the daughter is just as skilled as her mother (which has been shown to some degree but come on) and wanted to be just like her, maybe going through an arc where she was afraid of not meeting the expectations (not from her parents they would never) and instead making her own path, oh but we can't do that, why? WHY? IT COULD HAVE BEEN ADDED TO THE FIRST MOVIE, INSTEAD OF HER JUST WANTING NEW HAIR??? LIKE SHE COULD HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL HELPFUL CHARACTER and a good middle ground???? Smh.

Ok, I mayyyyyyyy be looking too much into this my bad guys, I didn't want to turn this into a ramble but I guess here we are.

Also like if the guy with the dog died or went missing... What happened to the dog? His gf???? Was she with him??? Were they both???? Like, istg if they don't delve into this in the next movie imma go YEET something.

But to me it looks like the next movie will probably be about Uma's aunt cuz, time travel, she's angry comes for revenge and yada yada yada.

That whole charade we definitely haven't seen before in like... 4 movies...

But hey, the last movie I can say from a special effect point of view, and overall quality definitely showed a lot of improvements from the other 3.

Also, 3rd movie, girly was so justified in her villain arc, like I'm sorry, but one, Queen of mean slays, second of all, Mal literally ruined everything she had ever worked for, everything she had ever known now didn't matter. All the things she prepared for, all the times she had to be perfect, and she was! Before Mal arrived and by the way, stole the prince by giving him basically a love potion, which was like, "ok it wore off so it didn't matter" because at the end of the day he loved Mal right? WRONG, Mal, I love you, but you should have just gotten with your best friend tbh (even tho I do love the combination of nerd × creative couple, they are actually probably the couple I enjoy the most) like I'm sorry, I'm just saying. So like, I'm not saying I condone her actions, but I do understand why and what led to that whole thing. That could have been avoided if Mal also just simply, I don't know, bothered to say sorry? To check on the person whom she stole the boyfriend from? Again, Mal, love you so much, but this whole thing was just a big no for me.

(I wanna clarify that I don't actually hate anyone..? Like just in case someone thinks I hate the actors...? I don't???)

I'm just vibing here guys, this is just me being silly, you know how I am atp, (especially if you've ever seen my rambles on Steve Stories and stuff).

I have no friends to rant about this with, so the internet shall deal with me (bestie I know you exist, but I don't wanna bother u with Descendants).

Anyway, everyone have a lovely day and remember, it's summer, so hydrate a lot.

[brilovesyou]

IM BACKKKKKK

Its been a long as time since i’ve been here on tumblr. I would come on here in my teenage years horny looking for sex edits and videos of hard penis. I am very great at long story shorts so let me go ahead and give a summary of the last 7 years since 2016. 

I graduated high school , didn’t go to college was broke. Got hella jobs because I was a barista from 2017 -2018 ; 2018 in November I went to Amazon. Was lit cause amazon had the bag back then. $15/hr 4-5 hour shifts and im what 19/20 with my friends. It was lit as fuck. 2019 my dad passed my first year of college and I failed all those damn classes. I was studying Biology & that shit is very hard. I lost all my motivation due to my dad being a dead ass. I met my highschool crush , he went through my then best friend to get my snapchat so he could be my guy. Jalen is someone I never would have thought to look my way because looks are deceiving. Jalen is one year older than me and he was a star football player when we were in high school. I was just a nerd, so I didn’t even know he knew I existed. Jalen is the best guy ever and we are still together. COVID came 2020 and cleaned the fucking earth, rest in peace to all fallen souls. COVID was a silent killer and I too had caught COVID from my sister in which i didn’t have any symptoms ; I too can be a silent killer. I hated to know i was asymptotic whatever the fuck and I am glad same time. My sister was sick as fuck when she had it and it was bold. I am vaccinated , no booster foh , only got vaccinated because I had to go to JA for 2022 ; my mother got married to Gerald. Gerald is lit and has two daughters, Sierra & Sadyah . Sierra has my second neph King who is 2 years old now. I love my new extended family, they are lit. Anyways during covid I stopped working at amazon because they fired me LMAO. Anyways my bud got me this WFH  job with the State of Michigan and I worked there from 2020- 2021. Job was hell but i had to be employed wtf, i was making $15/hour and after a year of claimants telling me im a stupid bitch and know nothing I got a raise to $18/hr. I was a temp worker with Robert Half so they sent me to a new project when covid “ ended “.  I was sent to Centene to do Dental Insurance and I’ve been working there since 2021- 2023 which is current. I make $21.08 and it is pretty lit fr. I live in an apartment with Jalen and my two cats. I WFH, have a catering business , a nail business and new ServSafe Certification. Still in cc working towards my culinary degree, i finally decided to follow my dreams instead of the ones i thought would make my parents happiest. I have clientele with food & nails. Need riches so me & Jalen can be married & buy our trucks & house

[whygodwhy69]

Golf Rivalry Lesbians: The Outline

Claire Donovan comes from a very privileged background and her parents are super intense. She has a crushing fear of failure (stemming no doubt from a concern of disappointing her parents). Uptight AF. Needs a chill pill fr. Very successful youth(/college) career → decent pro career but struggling to maintain highest ranking (or w/e). Constantly pushing herself past her limits trying to be the best. Trying to recapture success of her youth(/college) career. Disappointed parents are v v harsh – not helpful. Has a boyfriend who is also a pro golfer. He is pretty good but never had her previous success so he “doesn’t understand” her constant intensity for improvement. He’s actually an okay dude but lawd he preppy and bland and for god’s sake her parents fucking love him >:(

~*Enter the eventual love interest*~

Lauren (“Lo”) Jennings is fucking great at golf. She came outta nowhere on the pro circuit and has had a bunch of success. She’s so fucking relaxed– she gets to play a game for a living and has a lot of fun with it. She came from a poor background, got into golf via scholarship or something idk. Turns out she’s great at it. She gets all the endorsements and wins a bunch of tournaments. She is also a very nice person. So naturally Claire fucking HATES her.

(this is borne of jealousy and resentment; however, it will take a while for her to realize and accept that).

Of course they keep meeting at tournaments and each do well. Lo has more wins though because though Claire does fairly well, she struggles to actually win tourneys. So of course Claire blames Lo for this and becomes crazed determined to beat her… at the next tourney, Claire actually does super badly bc she is so focused on beating Lo that she totally falls apart. She’s pissed, her parents are pissed, everybody’s god damn pissed. Except Lo, she’s just chillin’.

So then boyfriend is like, uh maybe Lo isn’t actually the devil incarnate? And so Claire is like stfu we’re over. And boyfriend is like yikes ok

So obviously Claire is spiraling and lashing out and placing blame on the wrong people. At the next tourney Lo is like hey and Claire is like I swear to god I’ll fucking kill you and Lo is like who uh good luck in the tourney you seem stressed. If you ever want to talk about the pressure of being a female pro athlete with someone who understands I’m here 4 u

And Claire is like wtf I hate you get out of my face but now Lo is seeped into her mind in a different fucking way. 

Bc maybe she really isn’t the devil incarnate?

Fuck.

And maybe she’s really cute and kind?

FUCK.

Time to apologize for being a dickhead. Also maybe do some closer self-examination? Like why do I actually play golf? To make my parents happy? Because I had some previous success? Does it make me happy? It used to– when I had fun with it. Maybe I should try to chill and have fun playing. (Also am I gay what no never mind)

Well DUH she wins the next tournament bc she’s actually enjoying herself instead of just being super intense about everything. 

So Lo is like hey congrats and Claire is like whoops I was an asshole bc I was jealous of how successful yet chill you are and Lo is like oh dude I’m not chill at all I just go to therapy so I can balance myself out and grow as a person and Claire is like damn heart eyes emoji

And anyways they fall in love and smooch bc of course they do

Happy endings only over here babey

Also worked somewhere in there, Claire confronts her parents because she’s like you pushed me too hard and they’re like sorry we just wanted you to success and maybe we messed up and she’s like it’s okay but let’s all chill a little

Also also, at some point before her breakthrough, Claire straight up quits a tourney in the middle of hole bc she’s so overwhelmed by stress and trying to be the best and trying to beat Lo and her parents like berate her but maybe that’s when she confronts them?

Also also also, Lo is Very Obviously Gay™ but Claire has genuinely *no idea* because she’s a sheltered WASPy princess with no awareness of any other type of person. This will make her all the more confused about her stirring feelings for Lo. Yet she is fortunate bc at least Lo is already comfortably out and thinks she’s hot.

[nerdy-alto]

Curse you, AC/DC, Mormonism, and/or Laziness

(In honor of Twitter's continued death throes, I figured why not repost one of the favorite long-form things I've written.)

I listened to a lot of music growing up. As the oldest kid, most of what I listened to in my very early childhood was my parent’s music; Linda Ronstadt, Doobie Brothers, Barry Manilow and various classical composers. It was a mark of my growing independence when I got my parents cast-off hi fi systems and was able to find my own radio station to listen to. And boy, did I listen to it. When we ran out of Star Wars topics to cover during recess we talked music. My big favorites were Duran Duran, or at least any band that wore make-up and had keyboards. Beyond the obvious and well-documented prepubescent attraction to non-masculine dudes, what totally attracted me to certain songs was their utter incomprehensability.

Telegram force and ready I knew this was a big mistake There’s a fine line drawing my senses together And I think it’s about to break If I listen close I can hear them singers oh-oh-oh Voices in your body coming through on the radio-oh-oh The union of the snake is on the climb Moving up it’s gonna race it’s gonna break through the borderline

Seriously, wtf does this even mean? But it didn’t matter to me, because this wasn’t your ordinary, Barry Manilow type song about some girl named Mandy, or dead showgirls (1) – this was deep. And maybe I didn’t understand it now, but when I got older – maybe mature enough to have a boyfriend, or wear makeup, or have a boyfriend who wore makeup it would all become clear to me, and I would listen to these songs with a profound understanding. Yes, I’d surely cogitate, this is the Union of the Snake breaking through borderlines. Good thing I got that telegram force!  

I can hear your cries of protest now – But surely you weren’t an idiot, nerdycellist, why did you just accept that kind of nonsense? To which I reply, Why thank you, no, I was of course a very smart child (2) but those crucial years of cerebral cortex development were marred by Mormonism. (3) Among Mormonism’s many fine doctrines and articles and rules and crap is the concept of “the milk before the meat”. Both the History and Theology of Mormonism is sometimes less than salubrious (mountain meadows massacre), and frequently insanely wacky (Adam-God doctrine). Since Mormonism’s also big on converting people, they try and keep the crazy shit from the new recruits until they’re far enough entrenched in the cult that they’re willing to suspend disbelief. The official party-line is the analogy that a baby must first learn to drink milk before it can eat meat – too much too soon and you’ll puke, I guess. So I figured that I can’t smile without you was like how Jesus Loved You and the reflex being a lonely child waiting by the door was the idea that my husband would have lots of other wives with me in heaven.

 So I had a certain comfort level with not understanding stuff – hell, it may have been a superiority complex – and I listened to a lot of radio. Also kiddies, in those days there was no internet to look up song lyrics, so if you didn’t have the album, you didn’t have the liner notes which only sometimes had lyrics printing in them. I was quite willing to settle for my ear’s first guess when it came to songs.

 The last piece of the puzzle here is my laziness; this has always been the bane of my existence. I learned to read very early and with that came a certain amount of knowledge in other school-related pursuits.(4) One of those was spelling, which is a terrible subject for english speakers and learners – it doesn’t make any sense! They only way you can learn how to spell is to be exposed frequently to the word. The other is just by rote repetition. My 5th grade teacher, Mr. Coombs, a favorite mostly because he tried to keep up with important pop cultural references (5), had developed a great strategy for lazy smarty-pantses like myself, who would normally get incomplete marks on take-home spelling homework that I deemed pointless busywork – he gave us 10 minutes on Monday morning to review our list of 20 words, then gave us a pre-test. You only had to do your spelling homework on the words that you missed and then you had the real test on Friday. I hardly ever missed any words on the pre-test, and so was able to skip the bogus busywork. I also pretty much aced the Friday tests. (6)

 So let us combine these points into a final scenario: A Friday spelling test was always a nice way for me to usher in the weekend. I had aced the monday pre-test and not had to waste any time copying words out or using them in sentences. Mr. Coombs would always use them in a sentence anyway when calling out the test, which was good in this case, because I had been zoning out when he first pronounced the second to last word, but he used a song lyric to illustrate it! Rad!

 I put my pencil to paper…

 “… dirty deeds and their Dunderchief.”

 huh.

 I knitted my eyebrows. That was one of those words, like wah-lah, that I had only heard but never seen written down. And that was from a part of the song that I wouldn’t understand until I was emotionally prepared to deal with the consequences of the full knowledge of that song. I was just going to have to use the context clues of the lyrics to figure out how to spell it. Dirty deeds and their Dunderchief… like an Indian Chief, only because they were Dirty deeds (and not Indian Deeds), they had a Dunderchief. You know, like a dunderhead. Yes! Now “i” before “e”…

 This made sense to me. Or at least enough that I scribbled it out in enough time to catch the last word on the quiz. It is to his credit that when Robbie Elmer passed back my corrected spelling test that he didn’t circle the word and write “stupid” or “what is this supposed to mean, idiot?”, but the big red (X) next to #19 was enough to shame me into blushing furiously while considering not turning in the paper at all so Mr. Coombs would never know that I mistook “Cheap” for a made up concept of a Leader of Dirty People.

Also, please note that any spelling mistakes in this essay were left in deliberately, as an excercise for the reader.

*******************************

Footnotes:

1. Holy crap, do I love this song. Also Manilow, but had to be closeted about that back in the day.

2. So smart in fact that I was used as a lab rat for some UofU grad students for their dissertation of kids who can pronounce all the words in Tolstoy but don’t really understand it, or doing stuff with mealworms or something. All I know is I got out of class for like an hour on the days I didn’t get out for orchestra practice! Score!

3. Man, is there anything that can’t be blamed on Mormons?

4. Manifested itself in Kindergarten, when I zoned out during reading because I was already done with Dick and Jane, and then zoned back in during math with the shock that I couldn’t make a 5.

5. He also brought his guitar sometimes and taught us Ghost Riders In The Sky – or was it Ghost Riders in Disguise? Also he demonstrated important scientific concepts by taking us out in his cessna two at a time to do barrel rolls and shit.

6. OK, I think I’m done bragging about my own clerverness now. But I will leave you with one final piece of evidence to my own brilliance – I was so smart I repeated 8th grade!

[givehimthemedicine]

( @himynameis4 big analysis part 2 reply in a new post so we don't have to keep reblogging that monstrosity)

Thank you so much for the feedback!! <3 I think I saw you post something along these lines a couple days ago but I averted my eyes lol but now I wanna go back and read all the theories I've been avoiding. great minds!

ok ok I'm following you on the Alice thing but here's where I get stuck - she's already on the floor for at least several seconds before Henry passes out. if his exhaustion was what interrupted the ritual, I would expect to see them both fall at about the same time as his concentration breaks, you know? like how Max falls irl at the same time as mindlair-Henry gets interrupted. and if Alice (even unwittingly?) did the radio and the song is truly playing again at least briefly, why do we only hear it in Victor's memory but not Henry's?

while I hesitate to agree that Alice's jaw was due to a rush job, I can buy that for all the lab kids because you're right he couldn't be leisurely about it and not every kid was isolated for it.

about Henry killing Victor - I never thought he meant to? because he said his plan was to frame him for murder. that was his alternate punishment for Victor's misdeeds because he had no powers to gain by killing him. Henry even has that later line "I tried to join them!" ("join" = recurring code for getting Vecna'd) but his suicide didn't even work (although idk if Henry is in charge of that). Henry's parents were the only two he specifically said he was holding a mirror up to and showing them what terrible people they were, and that may be how he found out how to activate other peoples' powers in the first place, and so with the lab kids and the cursed four he wasn't exactly punishing them for misdeeds he found offensive so much as just exploiting their vulnerability. but IF Henry had Vecna'd Victor then yeah I guess it would just look like the rabbits.

and ok the Will's eye color thing is so weird because I had no idea they really changed until right now (I just looked and by golly.) because I made a post recently pointing out that Jon and Joyce SAID Will's eye color was brown on his missing child poster. but the second they snap open after getting possessed they are hazel.

good question about Henry vs Will responding, it felt like the two were constantly wrestling but as time went on it seemed to be Henry winning more and more. I think this is where birthdaygate comes in because the writers keep setting major events around Will's bday (all of season 4 is set in the week of Will's bday and so are the Creel murders which there is NO reason for, like, pick any random month!) and Will would've for sure told Mike "btw thanks for remembering my birthday asshole" at rinkomania so if Will has forgotten his own bday there's definitely some memory commandeering going on.

to complicate it further, flayed Billy DID resist the MF at least for a minute there with the help of a fond memory, but the lighting in that scene is so nuts I have no idea if his eyes were ever supposed to be different. I need to review all the footage now with the eye thing in mind because wtf.

LOL powerhouse of the cell I'm high fiving your brain. that is so cool actually!!

anyway I appreciate your interest and I look forward to discussing more! (and yes there is supposed to be a part 3 but my brain is a bit fried rn and I shot a hole in my own logic already so that one will be a while longer)

[itsravenbitch]

my void success story💞🦋

(1st void story)

it’s 7:30 pm right now and i got into the void last night and i’ve been processing everything ALL DAYY… chilleeee it’s overwhelmingly exciting!

so in this post i’ll tell y’all HOW i got into the void and WHAT i manifested. but yall the way i woke up is my favoritee thing ever🥰

***long post ahead***

nowww how did i get into the void

i got in at night but anytime works as y’all know

1. i did a meditation [for the 1st time] a little bit before going to bed just because .. that shits super relaxing 10/10 recommend

2. anyway i set an alarm for 5 hours cause i read it somewhere that when you do, you get sleep paralysis so mmhm that’s what i did

3. i went to sleep with the intention of the void being easy to get into and yeah. it was a cool lil 5 hours.

4. thennnn my loud ass alexa alarm went off i told her to shut up and i just lied there.. they key is when the alarm goes off you don’t open your eyes and don’t move too much. this will get your body into SP. then your mind is awake and your body is dead asleep.

*in case it wasn’t obvious already make sure you’re not falling asleep again after waking up*

6. igh so boom… here we are now in SP . at this point i just repeated a few void affirmations. and i started getting THEE floating feeling, i was elevating the WHOLE time til i stopped.. then i got this falling feeling. i literally fell all the way from where i was and then i slowed down. right after i felt this shift .. AND BOOM BITCH I WAS IN THE VOIDD!!!! it was pitch black and the rest of the other stuff you experience when you’re in the void . moving on .

all i said was “gimme the life i’ve been deserving of” and i was out that ho. 🏎

tbh i wasn’t even scared cause i was ready for any of the symptoms .

so now what you probably wanna know. what did i manifesttt ???

so overall, i basically got my dream life so here’s kinda what that looks like

🦋my physical appearance: i got my desired face and body, as well as going from itty bitty 5’2 to big mf heavy stepper 5’8 mmmhmm. i reduced my titties and shii 😂 i had really ugly finger nails but they look really well kept now: and my toenails. they look like girl toes now. my skinnnn.. i can’t stop touching it.. it’s so soft 😌

🦋a lil boo thang or whatever: ooouu i’m not gon say teww much butttt.. yall i’m allll about black love so y’all already knoww… darkskin, muscular, gives THE best hugs ANDDD he’s from brooklyn, ny. and he got the accent and his voice is deep and a lil 🤏🏽 raspy ughhh ifykyk

🦋 tesla model y and my driver’s license: so i’m 17 and i didn’t get my license at 16 like most do. i actually didn’t even go to drivers ed fr. but that all changed of courseee. and to go with it i got a tesla. i got a black exterior , white interior , model y . i got in the car and knew exactly what to do lmao i was mind blown and overwhelmed with excitement.

🦋 my parents allowing me and my sisters to smoke: ok, i would like to start with the fact that my parents are african ok? and ifykyk! so me and my older sister like to smoke a lil weed and obviously my parent weren’t cool w that but they are now and it’s so weirddd.. like me and her go to the backyard and smoke and they just ignore it.. my dad yell at the fact that we smoke in MY SISTERS car tho and i’m like bro it NOT YOUR CARRR. he need to relax, he need some weed fr.

🦋desired friend group: i live in a predominantly white area and please don’t get me wrong but i just feel like i connect with my sistas better. but again where i live limits that so y’all already know wtf i did. i manifested 3 close friends and they really make my life so much better 💞

🦋moneyyy ofc: nothing much to say but i definitely won’t be worrying about money

🦋a fun life: i go out w friends , my bf takes me on fancy dates , i have a car now, so i take my little sister shopping and i love spoiling her . school is so easy so i don’t worry about it, my days are productive but fun, i have a great social life. and i’m traveling next weeekk.

🦋school goes by fast: even though i have late arrival bc ima senior i be tryna gtfo

🦋i got a cat: vivi is my munchkin kitten she’s so so tiny and i love her but i swear she love my man more than she love me bro.. ion know i might have to get on her ass.

🦋instant manifestation forever and perfect self concept: i would say my sc before the void was decent but now it’s perfect and that was the goal. and my manifestations are instant. seconds…

that about wraps this post right tf up. uhh like i said i’ve been adjusting to my new life , experiencing new things , just enjoying my life with no job , all the money i need and my only priority being school .

if y’all want the story about how i woke up from the void lemme know and i might make a post on it .

have a great morning , afternoon , evening , or night

[windvexer]

Hi Chicken! I really enjoyed reading your post about spirit shops. It also raised smt that I've been kind of struggling with for a while-- the discernment thing. Everyone in here is constantly talking about this, but it's always in nebulous terms and I'm like wtf do I do?? And have become rather worried and turned off by spirit interactions and trying to have any bc I'm so worried that I'll get something wrong, that I'll be trying to talk to some "higher"(in the god sense) being but something else will respond, and since for now I feel pretty spirit blind I feel overwhelmed. This also applies to when thinking about going to the astral or meditation, you know, to meet spirit guardians and such (as you are speaking about in your recent post). Sorry if I'm making a big deal out of something small. Thank you so much for your posts, I'm enjoying them a lot ❤️

Hi!

It is not making too big of a deal. It's not a small thing.

A great deal of modern rhetoric on spirit communication is dominated by the concept that there are so many evil, malicious, or liar spirits out there desperate and waiting to glomp on to any wayward practitioner, so before a person can ever be safe working with spirits, they need to learn X, Y, and Z magics.

Where do you learn this magic, if you aren't able to commune with spirit teachers?

Why, you have to rely on more experienced people, probably the same ones telling you its not safe for you to explore on your own :)

My number 1 suggestion for you is to stop listening to people who are saying those things. Whether or not they realize it, creating anxiety in learners causes those learners to flock to them for help and rely even more on their words.

It's a toxic, self-fulling loop.

If someone is telling you that all these spirits are so dangerous and it's so easy for you to be tricked, what does that tell you about them? It tells you that THEY work with dangerous spirits and THEY are at danger of being tricked, AND they are so inexperienced that they do not understand their dynamic is not universal and other people walk different paths.

This long post I recently made talking about the astral summoning praxis talks about the danger of people within this belief system projecting their beliefs outwards.

How fucked up is it that some of these people have projected their beliefs to the point where it is dangerous to talk to gods totally unrelated to their system? They are literally gatekeeping Hellenic, Kemetic, Norse, etc., gods, because their unrelated spirits in unrelated systems have all these rules, so obviously Hekate and Isis need to be approached the same way a conjurer approaches a trithorkian glitter salamander they met in the astral.

It's absolutely ridiculous, and I'm sorry you've been dragged into this culture of fear. People out here are literally making you afraid to meditate. That's fucked up.

So, as far as actionable steps go:

1. Throw out the astral. I mean absolutely just drop it. You do not need to astral travel to meet spirit guides. Let go of every single concept of the astral. Decide for yourself, "maybe astral travel is for me later on, but right now I have so much baggage about it that I need to let it go."

2. Throw out the concept that all these spirits are somewhere far away in nebulous realms. Some are, yeah. Let's not work with them. Let's find our family here on Earth. Our siblings in the land, our parents in the solar system, our cousins in the sea and sky. They have physical bodies on earth: the trees, the stones, the grains of sand. We have physical bodies here on earth. We're all family. Family first, maybe getting to know astral strangers later :)

3. Practice spirit communication with stuff around you, not in the astral. Avoid disassociating or leaving your body. Stay fully within your body, talk to spirits around you (no astral, no meditation).

4. Discernment is literally just having psychic senses that are clear enough so that you can understand what is going on around you in the ethereal/metaphysical layers of reality. Discernment is not a concept limited to spirit work. For example, energy workers discern whether or not they have created a shield. Spellcasters discern whether or not they have properly raised energy. If you want to improve your psychic senses, try an exercise like this one. Other activities, such as "vibe checking" enchanted objects with friends (can be done with photos online), attempting aura readings, all divination, energy work, and spellcasting will help improve your psychic senses over time.

5. "Tricksters" are not coming through in the place of gods. Some people out here are doing really stupid shit and setting themselves up for complete failure when it comes to divine communication, and then turn around and act like we're all in danger. We're not. No need to set up an altar. No need to do fancy devotionals. Siddown and pray. "Jesus Christ, I need to talk to you today. Tumblr is out here spreading lies again." Or you know like, "Athena, I need to talk to you today. I've heard you got the good vibes, I'd love to get in on that."

6. Getting something wrong isn't a big deal. If you're just wanting to pray to your ancestors and receive advice from guides, it's not a big deal. There isn't some little incidental mistake you can make that is going to make you possessed by a demon. There are not hoards of evil spirits straining, clawing to get through to you. There just aren't. The world is not evil like some people think it is. You are not prey. You are not a future victim. You are not a tiny little weak person trapped in an isolated cabin with evil spirits piling up around you like snow in a blizzard, and there's only one path to safety.

You are a person surrounded by friends and family, in a warm house with a crackling fire, you are sitting on the rug before the fire, they are watching you with loving smiles, your eyes are squeezed shut and you're holding your knees to your chest, and they are so ready for you to open your eyes and join them at the dinner table -

Whenever you are ready.

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome to the last update before we fuck off to college! I feel I have really ignored the teens this generation thanks to the adults being such disasters, so now that Cyn’s horrid LTW is done I take the boyos out for a fun(??) night Downtown. I’d really like to find Sophito someone alive and age-appropriate so I can get him off this Sandy Fairchild kick-

-and Sugar’s uhhh.. along for the ride.

-Something’s lodged in my ear!!!

Probably Joe Carr’s character file. Sugar no offense but please maintain a respectful distance from Sophito tonight because I don’t want people realizing you two share a gene pool.

Ok when I opened this pic in Photoshop I lold for a solid 10 secs, you have Sophito literally looking like he’s on the cover of a teen magazine:

And Sugar LOOKING LIKE THIS:

I curse you, Don. I curse you to damnation. 

-Um, Sug, not to ruin your underage drinking binge but you’re the only one of us who can drive.  -Sorry, Sophito, maybe you should have spent less time ‘sTuDyInG tO gEt iNtO CoLLeGe’ and more time stealing your mom’s car to try and cut the brakes. -You’ve cut the brakes of the car we drove here in?! -Nag, nag, nag, you’re alive aren’t you??

We change venues due to the tragic lack of teens and finally, we find one! Sophito likes her, go talk to her, be your charming self! 

-HAHAHAHA. BEWBS

SOPHITO WHAT THE FUCK

Sugar also likes her, let’s see if he fares better (doubt). 

OF COURSE. Alright then, clearly ignoring you two losers was the right call, let’s go home.

Ah, STABILITY. 

Whatchu reading, Sandy?

-I̵ S̸T̷O̷LE̵ G̷ILB̸ER̸T̷'S̵ D̷I̷AR̶Y̶ T̶O̷ S̵E̶E ̶IF H̴E̷ L̷O̸V̶ES̵ M̵E🧟

Nice, does he?

-N̶O̵T A̷S M̶U̶CH̴ A̴S̴ H̶E D̴O̴E̶S H̵IS M̸O̶THE̵R̷🧟

OMG IT’S WHATSHISNAME. MAKOTO aka Blonde Teen Townie that our teens keep rejecting who was also Sophie’s bestie from her townie days! He’s still wearing his toga from that terrible college party we invited him to LOL

-Here I am again, ready to be rejected :(

Well look who’s socially competent all of a sudden!

-Makoto, we just met 4 hours ago, but I can tell we’re gonna be best friends forever!!!

-I can hardly believe a Union finally wants to hang out with me! In a hot tub, no less! What an honor! 

Ya not to rain on your parade, Makoto, but Sophito literally lives in the hot tub. If game coding allowed it he would eat, sleep, and attend digital classes from there.

-Oh Sophito, let me offer you this shirtless goodbye hug that I’m sure won’t awaken anything in you!

-Yes, Makoto, I’m sure it won’t!

-HAHA WHAT A FUN NIGHT! MAKOTO SURE IS GREAT :D

Makoto sure is, which is why we’re not taking him to college with us and forcing him to watch you have your 50 first dates.

-BUT I WANT HIM!!! To come along to college I mean!!!

Well I don’t know what to tell you, kiddo, you chose the himbo life. Now keep getting stoned while I deal with Sugar’s attempts at finding love: 

-WHAT THE FUCK, THAT HURT, YOU FREAK -I told you I was ripped but you wouldn’t believe me!

Sugar seriously, God help me with you.

We call over the matchmaker and spend max amount to hopefully find someone Sugar has some chemistry with..

..and we get Lakshmi aka Daniel’s first love, LMAO. Lakshmi wtf, are you this legacy’s designated first gf for losers?

-It definitely looks like it. 

Things are actually going shockingly well with Lakshmi and she even accepts Sugar’s invite to stay over?? I’m like great, more time for her to get used to the extremely acquired taste that is Sugar, but I didn’t count on the entire household conspiring to ruin his life:

-𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝚄𝙱𝙹𝙴𝙲𝚃; 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈 𝙵𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙻𝙳! -O̸H, ̴M̴Y RO̸T̸T̶I̵NG̴ B̶UT̷T!🧟

-FUCK YOU CYN, WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE NOW THAT THE 20 LOVERS ARE DONE?!

-WAAAAAH LAKSHMI MY PARENTS ARE FIGHTING AGAIN, I HATE MY MOTHER SO FUCKING MUCH, PLEASE DATE ME

-NO, YOU STUPID BRAT, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO INTERN AT MY LAW FIRM. AND SPIT OUT THAT GLASS OF WATER YOU JUST DRANK

-So, this was a super fun weekend, right Lak? Are you Stockholm Syndromed yet or do you need more time?

Get our of here, Lakshmi, RUN

Well well well look who’s back, dressed inappropriately for the season.

-Omg he’s so cute when he’s getting hypothermia!

Omg he is but don’t get attached, I told you we’re not keeping him. 

-Hey bro! Wanna fake punch each other on the arm? -Sure!

-Wanna have a bro hug? -Ok!

-Wanna have our first kiss while iVan and Sandy kill each other? -Totally!

-Oh Makoto, I wish I didn’t have to leave for college in literally one hour. -𝙳𝙸𝙴, 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈, 𝙳𝙸𝙴; -I̴ C̷AN̸'T D̶I̷E, Y̴O̷U̷ D̸U̶MBA̶S̷S̴ W̵E̵S̵T̸W̴O̸R̵LD R̷EJ̶E̵CT̸🧟

-Just remember, Makoto, when it’s cold and rainy outside, the warmth of our youthful love- -I̸'̶M G̵O̶N̸NA̵ S̶H̵O̴V̶E Y̴O̵U I̸N T̵H̴E F̵UC̷KIN̸G̸ F̶O̵U̵N̴T̵AIN, i̸VA̴N🧟

-Oh Sophito, let me take a mental picture of this moment so I can always rememb- -SOPHITO COME QUICK, SANDY RIPPED OUT iVAN’S MOTHERBOARD -NOT NOW, SUGAR

-Makoto, I just wanted to say- -𝙸 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙱𝚄𝚁𝚈 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈, 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙼𝚂 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶; -MY BEEEED, WHERE’S MY BEEEED👻 -SOPHITO I WANT CHILI, COME HELP ME COOK! -Listen, Sophito, I’m just gonna go. -Yea, good call, see you around.

Time to fuck off! Sugar let me tell you something, and I truly mean it, I can’t believe you’re going to college. 

-Me neither, I’m basically illiterate :D

Fun!

As Sugar is departing, his ‘go to taxi’ action gets cancelled because he stops to cry one last time about Cyn cheating on Don LOL. 

And we’re off! Perfect timing too, because right after Sophito leaves..

..JOJO HEARTFARTS OVER iVAN. WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS, LET’S GTFO

Now in college we are of course taking with us Daniel and Melody’s twins, Julian and June, aka JuJu..

..our cousin, Wulf and Angel’s horrible son, Wilfred..

..Brittany and Gunther’s horrible son, Reginald..

..and Ti Ning and Frances’ horrible daughter and Reginald’s girlfriend, Eliza. Quite the eclectic bunch of douchebags, if I say so myself. See you next time in college!

[rinadragomir]

Okay, so, here I am, remaining anonymous so that it’s harder for you to kill me 💀

- Jessamine is such an underrated character.

- Gabriel is way better than Gideon, and his internal struggle is way more realistic. Also, Gabrily is the best TID ship.

- Herongraystairs are special, while not my favorite, as a human relationship, but both Jessa and Wessa are so overrated. So is Kitty.

- Tessa is annoying. Worst protagonist by a whole lot.

- I dislike James almost as much as Charles. Also, I hate how Cassie blames everything on being irascible when it comes to James and Will. I feel like she validates behaviours that really shouldn’t be validated.

- Having Thomas and Eugenia is Gideon’s redemption era.

- Neither Grace nor Christopher are necessarily aroace, and people should treat the topic more carefully. I’m not saying that they can’t be (and it would be great if Cassie handled it correctly), but I see a lot of people mixing up trauma with being aroace. And that is really harmful.

- Cordelia is okay, but I do feel like Cassie hasn’t fully fledged her character and it occasionally seems to me like I’m dealing with different people depending on the scenes.

- Ghostwriter isn’t worth the hype, but it’s still way better than Jordelia.

- Jordan was in the wrong with Maia, but he wasn’t a bad person.

- Kierarktina doesn’t work. If Mark and Cristina had as much chemistry as Mark and Kieran or as Cristina and Kieran, it’d be great. Sadly they don’t.

- Thule!Livvy and Cameron are so underrated. I’m still heartbroken over one of them being dead in each world and them never being able to be together.

- Diego is a very complex and interesting character, precisely because he’s not perfect.

- QoAaD was disappointing, and its best parts were the Rosales brothers’ interactions.

- I love Malec, but what Cassie is doing with TEC (especially with TLBotW) isn’t it.

- Shinyun was so interesting in TRSoM and deserved a better characterisation than whatever Cassie was thinking at the time.

Ready to be killed in 3, 2, 1… 💀

@thestarkster1465 your soulmate is here. You can run to Antarctica together ✨🤗

1 - SHE IS 💅 MY UNDERRATED QUEEN. I really hope she'll manage to find peace in the wicked powers

2 - I wouldn't say he's better, I'll just say that plot makes him more complex, cause he was the one who stayed with his abusive father when Gideon left to Spain. He just has to be more interesting and complicated at this point. GABRILY BEING THE HORNIEST COUPLE + BEST PARENTS CHECK✅

3 - ...not Kitty and Jessa......YOU—

4 - That's an individual thing, i guess. Tessa annoyed me too a bit in TID but i understand that she was just a young girl raised how she was supposed to be raised that time. I love her in every other book🌼

5 - .... there's some truth about Will...BUT MY LITERALLY CURSED BOY JAMES?!?!?! LIVING UNDER SOME DEMONIC LOVE SPELL SINCE HE'S 12 or sth?!?!?! He literally cries when he hears the sound of rain!!!!!

6 - Maybe maybe 🤔

7 - That's actually a very complex and complicated topic. I think I should dedicate a separate post to this, but you're so right about that trauma part. @hotdog-frenchfries EDUCATE MEEEEE😭 Personally, I think that as long as we don't have official information about their sexuality, we can think whatever we want. They might both be aroace or not, both options are valid for now. And no one can condemn any of these options cause we don't have any information about it🤷🏼‍♀️I hope we'll find out in chot

8 - THAT'S SO TRUE OH MY GOD! Not to mention how in the first book Cordelia proudly told us where she came from and talked about her culture, and in the second book we pretend that none of this happened WTF CASSIE?!?!

9 - WHY Y'ALL DON'T LIKE MY GHOSTWRITER I'M GONNA CRY ALL DAY🥺 @axoloteca hug me

10 -That's true, i actually answered one ask about him yesterday, pls find it👉👈

11 - I wrote everything I think about Kierarktina here meow

12 - I KNOW😭😢 they fit each other so well, i guess Livvys destiny, to suffer in every world

13 - I've read TDA so fast I don't even remember him well. But everything i remember is pretty good🤔✨

14 - It was disappointing for me too but for different reasons. I tried to finish TDA as fast as I could, so i don't remember much about them either ;-; I said it hundred times and I'll do it again: too many characters + not enough pages

15 - oh but why 🥺🤔

16 - ONLY FACTS, THERE'S NO LIE, JUST TRUTH IN YOUR WORDS! #shinyun_deserves_better_2022

BABE I'M ALREADY RUNNING AFTER YOU😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.