#Natasha romanoff x reader angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scarlethexelove · 2 months

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Please Don't Leave Me

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 4281

Warnings: Angst, Pregnant!Reader, Natasha being an ass, injuries, Depression, Wanda being the bestest of friends.

Part 2: Gone

A/n: Had this one in my head for some time and finally decided to write it. As it always seems these fics just seem to run wild and get longer than I mean them to be. I can tell you all right now I'm pretty sure your not going to like the ending very much 😅

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

“Natty.” You try to get your wife's attention as she moves around the room quickly. Natasha is shoving things in a bag. “Nat.” You try again, but she doesn’t stop. Frantically moving around the room grabbing whatever she can. “Natasha!” You finally yell at her. She still doesn’t stop her movements. “Y/n I can’t right now.” She says shoving the last of her things in her bag. “Nat I have something important to tell you.” You try to reason with the woman, but she just zips her bag throwing it over her shoulder and walks past you. “There are things you don’t understand. I have to go.” You grab her arm and she finally looks back at you. “I really need to tell you this.” You try to reason with her. Your eyes pleading with her just to let you talk. But she shakes her head and pulls her arm from your grasp. “There are more important things than you right now.” She makes it to the door letting it creak open. “We will talk when I get home.” She doesn’t face you, only slightly turning her head before she is gone. “Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” You see her hesitate in the door but she shakes her head before slamming the door shut behind her.

Your heart shatters in your chest as your legs buckle beneath you. A muffled thud is heard as your knees hit the ground. Your hand covers your mouth as a sob escapes the depths of your chest. You pull the small stick from your back pocket looking down at the two pink lines. “I’m pregnant.” You whisper to yourself like somehow Nat will hear you and come back, but you know she won’t. To Natasha her job has always been more important than anything. She loves being an Avenger and helping people, but it always comes at a cost to you. You had a sliver of hope that maybe just maybe this could change that. After what she had gone through in the red room she was pretty sure that she couldn’t get you pregnant but here you are. The prospects of having a child had given you hope that maybe she would come back to you. Be the loving wife that you know she can be. The little pink lines now taunting you as tears splash down on the plastic blurring your vision and the once prominent lines.

It seems like hours before you finally pick yourself up off the ground. Finally having cried all the tears away. Pulling yourself off the ground as you wipe your cheeks before making your way to your shared bedroom. It is empty, too empty. The book Nat was reading was still sitting face down open to the page that she had left it on. Moon light shining through the curtains illuminating the dark room. You don’t bother turning on the lights or changing clothes as you crawl into the cold bed. Seeming much larger now than ever before. You curl in on yourself, exhaustion from all the tears you have cried catching up to you. A pain in your chest as you finally drift off into nothingness.

Over the next few days multiple new stations report of the Avengers fighting one another. The chaos and destruction of a German airport. You place a hand over your lower stomach as the news flashes. ‘Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow has broken the Sokovia Accords. Now wanted for treason against the federal government.’ If you thought your heart couldn’t break more you were wrong.

It has been nearly four months since that fateful day. The day your world shattered around you. You had hoped that one day maybe Nat would try and contact you but those hopes had been dashed over a month ago. She had moved on and so should you. You slowly pack your things in the home that you once shared with your wife. You’re not even sure if you should call her that anymore. A single tear running down your cheek at the thought. You still love her deeply but you can’t live like this. You have a baby to think about now, you need to live for them. Placing your hand on your growing stomach as you gently rub your finger up and down feeling their movement and smiling.

A phone ringing breaks you from the tender moment. You grab your phone looking down to see an unknown number calling you. Your heart stops a moment wondering if after all this time it is finally Nat calling you. You're so distracted by the tight feeling in your chest that the phone stops ringing and the call ends. You still stare blankly at the screen before it starts to ring again. Phone lighting up in your hand once again still showing unknown as the caller.

This time you press the answer button. Your movements are slow as you bring it up to your ear. You open your mouth but no words come out, your breaths coming out erratic as you begin to panic. Your ear is soon filled with a soft voice. “Y/n/n?” That voice is distinct but not your wifes. “Y/n are you there?” The voice asks again. “W-Wanda?” Your voice trembles as your mind catches up. Your best friend is on the other side of the line.

This is the first time you have heard from any of the Avengers for a long time. Tony once stopped by but you refuse to let him in. You didn’t listen to any of the words coming out of his mouth as he spoke through the door. If it wasn’t for him you don’t think you would be in this position right now and maybe your hopes for a better future with Nat would have come true. Wanda had sent a few letters letting you know she was ok. You couldn’t obviously send anything back due to now knowing where she was and the nature of the events and why she was also on the run.

“Y/n/n?” Wanda’s voice breaks through your mind once again. “I-I’m sorry Wands. What were you saying?” Her words had been muffled by your mind. She shakes her head like you could possibly see her doing that. “Nothing sweetheart. Are you ok?” She can tell that something isn’t right. “Not really. I, I’m alone.” Wanda’s heart breaks for you. She may be on the run but she hasn’t been alone. “I’m tired, Wands.” You know you shouldn’t be thinking that with a child on the way but it has been hard. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you sniffle into the phone.

Wanda made a decision right there. “Sweetheart, I'm going to send Vision to come and get you.” She knows it could be dangerous to have you with her but she also knows that you’re not a wanted fugitive so if for some reason that she is caught you will be left alone. But she will do everything in her power to keep you safe. She can’t stand to hear you this hurt and down. “W-what if that gives away where you are?” You question not wanting to bring her into any danger. “I’m safe here. If you want to, you can come here. We have to move every so often. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’m not going to leave you alone. You always have me.” You cry tears of happiness for the first time in a long time. “Yes.” Your voice is small but hopeful.

You land with Vision somewhere in what you believe to be Belgium. Vision never mentioned anything to you about your pregnancy which you are thankful for. You see Wanda bound out of the small quaint house on the outskirts of the town. You watch as she stops in her tracks a few feet away from you. Your head dropping, not wanting to see her reaction. Scared that she wouldn’t want you around any more.

“Y/n/n.” Wanda says quietly trying to get you to raise your gaze to hers but you don’t look up. Tears well in your eyes, scared to move, scared to look your best friend in the eye. Hands cup your face gently making you look up into green eyes. A soft smile on her face. “You're pregnant.” It’s not a question but a statement from the woman. You nod your head as she pulls you into her arms hugging you as tightly as she can without hurting you or the baby.

Just then the flood gates break. A sob leaves you as tears cascade down your cheeks into Wanda’s shirt. You bury your head in her neck. A hand rubbing gently up and down your back as you're held for the first time in months. Your legs give out as you clutch to Wanda for dear life afraid that you're going to wake up and she will be gone. Wanda holds on gently guiding you both to the ground as she lets you cry. Your tears soak her shirt as you sob for what feels like forever. Wanda whispers reassurances in your ear as she just holds you. Her gentle motions on your back, not ceasing.

Wanda lets you get out your pent up emotions. Sitting with you until your sobs turn into sniffles. “She left me. I never got to tell her.” You whisper, still gripping onto Wanda. “What sweetheart?” She asks, trying to get you to elaborate. “Natasha. I-I haven’t heard from her. She, she left that day to Germany. I tried to tell her. She, she told me that there were more important things than myself.” Wanda’s eyes swirl red with anger. How could Natasha do this to you? All she wants to do is fly off and break Natasha like she broke you. But Wanda comes back to reality when you grip her tighter, scared she will leave you just like Nat did.

“Please don’t leave me.” If it was even possible Wanda’s heart broke for you more. Like herself you don’t have any family. All of yours were gone long ago, but you had found a family in the Avengers, a wife. But that family is now broken but Wanda is determined to show you that she is still your family. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I will always be here for you.” She kisses your head smiling. “And for the baby.” More tears come to your eyes but from happiness.

“So you and Vision?” You give a watery chuckle. Wanda nudges your shoulder and laughs. “Yeah.” She smiles happily when you pull back to look at her. “So like does he come with a vibrator setting?” You ask half joking half serious. “Oh my god Y/n!” Wanda exclaims, shocked by your bold question. You two laugh as she helps you off the ground leading you into the house.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to mention something to Nat?” Wanda asks you softly, causing you to look up from the book your head is buried in. You let out a sigh as this constant conversation. “If she wanted to know how I was doing she could have called me the same way you did.” You rub your swollen stomach. So close to meeting your precious little one. “Wands I know you are looking out for me and I also know how pissed you are at her. I also know that you partly want to tell her to rub it in her face on how royally she screwed up. She has had almost 9 months to find me. And I know that you said she has mentioned that she has done it for my own safety but at least hearing from her once would have been something. Instead she went no contact. The famous Black Widow knows how to send encrypted messages if she really wanted to.”

Wanda knows how much you are right and every time she has to touch base with the team she has been distant and cold with Nat. She so badly wants to break her heart the way she has to you. She knows how much you still love Nat and would love to be a family. These times are hard though with everyone on the run so she bites her tongue and nods her head to your words.

To get your mind off of things you put your book down and swing your feet off the bed. “Hey Wands, it's a nice night, maybe we can all take a walk.” Vision appears in the doorway. “That sounds like a lovely idea Y/n.” You smile at the synthezoid before giving a questioning look to Wanda. “Sure.” She nods her head. “But someone is going to have to help me with my shoes.” You chuckle trying to reach down to your feet which you can’t reach. The other two laugh before all of you put on some clothes and help you with yours.

Wanda and Vision are holding hands as you walk through the streets of Edinburgh, the quiet street clearing your mind as you three walk peacefully. Vision stops Wanda to talk a bit as you waddle over to a window with a news cast playing. You watch on as a breaking news cast flashes on the screen. As the scene plays out in front of you you gasp. “Wanda.” You call for her. The conversation dies between the two as they come up behind you seeing as the screen plays footage of New York being attacked. You all stand there silently as death and destruction is shown on the screen. Tony Stark missing flashes on the screen and Vision looks to Wanda.

“I have to go.” Vision says kissing Wanda’s hand that is still laced with his. He starts to walk away dropping her hand, Wanda pleads with him to stay. You start to drown them out as you watch the screen. Terrified that you may see something about Natasha come across it. Screams of pain makes you turn around seeing Vision impaled on a staff. “Vision!” Wanda screams, her hands glowing red ready to fight.

Someone else blasts Wanda from behind sending her flying into a building across the street. With you close proximity you're thrown back hard. Trying to brace yourself you hear a sickening crack as your wrist impacts with the ground. You scream out in pain. “Y/n!” Vision yells when he hears your cry of pain. You turn on the ground seeing him do the same. The two who attacked turned him over on his back and the thing that stabbed him placed the sharp end of the staff on his head.

Vision’s screams can be heard through the quiet streets. You struggle trying to get yourself up knowing your wrist is broken, cradling it close to your chest. You watch as red balls of energy slam into the two creatures throwing them back. Wanda runs towards Vision using her magic and pulling you safely over to him. Pain is written all over her face as she looks over the both of you. She uses her magic to lift all of you off the ground pulling you closer to her as she tries to fly you all away from the area. You all are almost hit by a beam causing Wanda to have to bring you all down. Wanda lands you both down gently laying you on the ground before turning to catch Vision with her magic.

“The blade, it stopped me from phasing.” Vision says as you see a bright yellow line in his body and he seems to be glitching. “Is that even possible?” Wanda asks, helping him sit up against the wall. “It’s not supposed to be.” He says, you can tell he is in pain. Your adrenaline is pumping so your wrist is just a dull ache at the moment. Wanda hovers her hand over Vision, her magic flowing and pulling the opening closed slowly but not completely. “I’m beginning to think we should have stayed inside.” You mumble feeling guilty that this could have been avoided if not for you avoiding your feelings about Nat.

You and Wanda are pushed back by Vision as one of the creatures grabs Vision flying off and fighting against a building. The other comes and attacks you and Wanda. Wanda puts a barrier of magic around you. She starts to fight the female creature as your heart races in your chest.

You lose sight of the both of them fighting. Wanda’s magic dissipates from around you allowing you to move forward looking for your friends. You can hear it now so clearly in your head like she actually is yelling at you. Natasha’s voice tells you to run and protect yourself, but Wanda is your best friend and she has been there for you. So you push that voice away following the commotion. You run into the train station seeing Vision propped against a railing. Wanda stands red surrounding her hands as the two creatures look ready to fight once again.

Squealing of wheels from the train moving past has you all looking. A dark figure in the shadows looms behind the moving train. The female creature throws her trident-like spear at the figure when the train passes. The figure catching it perfectly as he walks into the light you see Steve Rogers. You try to get up behind the female creature but she quickly turns wrapping her hand around your throat.

“Y/n!” Wanda screams. The female creature throws you back and you land on your back crying out in pain. You feel a gush of liquid between your legs after you hit the ground. Wings fly in front of you as Sam Wilson collides with the creature. You let your hand drift down feeling the wetness and bring your fingers back up into view, relieved that it isn’t blood, but your heart drops when you realize what is happening. You gasp in pain from the sharp feeling in your stomach.

Wanda uses her magic again to pull you towards her and Vision. Wanda pulls you into her lap. That is when you spot her in the distance. The hair color may be different but she is still herself. Natasha fights with Steve against the creatures. You have tears in your eyes as you look up at Wanda. “Wands, I think my water just broke.” You groan in pain again. You can see the panic in her eyes as she looks around the area. It’s not long before the fighting is done and the other three walk over towards you three.

Natasha stops dead in her tracks when she sees you. Your swollen stomach has her chest rising and falling a bit fast. She thinks maybe it could be someone else's but she knows deep down that the baby is hers. She wants to cry but she turns stone cold hiding her emotions. Hating herself for leaving you, for never reaching out in all this time. You cry out in pain causing her to look back to you. You're curled in on yourself in Wanda’s lap. “It hurts.” You whimper. Wanda holds you closer to her. “I know sweetheart.” Wanda looks to the other three. “We need to get them out of here.” She can see the two men side eyeing her before Steve speaks up. “Quickly, get them to the Quinjet.”

Natasha moves to help you but you pull away. “I have her, can you help Vision?” Wanda says flatly, Nat can only nod moving away and helping Vision up. Wanda effortlessly lifts you in her arms and you all make your way to the Quinjet. Your contractions are getting strong and closer together. Natasha can only watch from afar as you whimper in pain. Wanda helps you and Vision sits close holding his side.

“We need to get her to a hospital.” Wanda says brushing the hair sticking to your forehead out of the way. “We will be at the compound in 30 minutes.” Steve explains. “Steve, I don't know if she can last that long.” She iterates looking back down at your pained face. “It’s the best I can do Wanda.” She sighs gently stroking your cheek. “It’s ok Wands. I’ll be o-” Your cut off by another contraction. All Nat can do is look on with regret.

Once the quinjet finally lands Wanda lifts you in her arms again and runs into the compound they enter and see Rhodey talking to a hologram of Secretary Ross. “We need medical.” Natasha says out, causing Rhodey to turn and for Secretary Ross to start arguing. You can’t concentrate on what they are saying but you know it isn’t great. Rhodey ends the call and signals for medical, who come in with Bruce.

As they wheel you away the team follows. Before Wanda can head in after you Nat grabs her arm. Wanda whips her head around anger evident on her face. “Please just tell me. Is it mine?” Wanda gives an amused chuckle. “Of course it’s yours.” She pulls her arm from Nat’s grasp and follows you in the room. Nat lets tears slip down her face. She left you alone pregnant with her child. Not once contacting you in the last nine months. She had told herself she was doing it to protect you and to keep you out of this life, but she was wrong and she sees that now. She understands now why Wanda became so cold towards her after a few months. She has to fix this. She has to be able to win you back and to become the family she always wanted and she will do anything to get that back.

Natasha can hear your cries of pain as you go through labor wishing more than anything she could be there with you but you don’t want her to be. But you chose Wanda and she understands why. She soon hears other cries. The crying of her child as they are born. Tears slip down her cheeks as she hears them. The boys know not to go around her or to talk to her at this moment. She is breaking on the inside and all she has to blame is herself.

An hour later Wanda walks out and comes over to Nat. Her head is down, not looking at the younger woman waiting for a scolding, but that doesn’t come. “You can go meet your son.” Wanda speaks with no emotion to her voice. Natasha looks up and Wanda can see she has been crying but that doesn’t change how angry Wanda is at her. “I have a son?” Nat whispers. Wanda just nods her head and moves out of the way.

Natasha slips into the room quietly. Her heart stops seeing you laying in the bed with a blue bundle in your arms and a smile on your face. More tears spill as she quietly makes her way over to you. You don’t look at her until she is standing right next to you. “He’s beautiful.” Nat mumbles trying to stop the sob that so desperately wants to escape. You have a soft look on your face and she can’t read it. “Meet Alexander Pietro Romanoff.” You smile down at your son. Natasha lets the tears freely fall. “Romanoff?” She questions you. “Romanoff.” You repeat looking back up at her with a soft smile. She feels a flicker of hope that she can fix this, that she can have her family.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask her softly and lightly lift him the best you can with your broken wrist. Nat nods and takes him from you holding him in her arms. She has so much love for him already that more tears well in her eyes. You watch her as she holds the baby and cries.

“I’m sorry.” Nat whispers. “I'm so sorry.” She looks at you with teary eyes. “I know.” Is all you can respond with. She looks back down at the now sleeping boy. Just looking at him and remembering all of his features. She had seen the flicker of green in his eyes, the same as hers. But he looks so much like you. He is just as beautiful as you are.

Loud beeping makes Nat’s head snap up. Your face is now pale and your eyes are closed. The sheets are staining red between your legs. Doctors rush in as she backs away holding her son close to her chest. He starts to cry with all the noise and commotion. Her heart rate picks up and she starts to panic. The voices of the doctors are muffled to her ears as she feels the blood rushing around. She can only focus on you, your face pale and your body limp in the bed as doctors work around you. They soon wheel you out of the room mentioning something about you hemorrhaging and needing to go to surgery.

Nat starts sobbing in the empty room. All that is left is herself and her son. She slides down the wall begging to whatever is out there in the universe that you will be ok. That you will come back to her and your son. Promising that she will do better and be better. She will be the wife that she had promised in her vows. She will do anything for you to take her back, just please let you live. She whispers in the emptiness. “Please don’t leave me.”

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sytoran · 2 months

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𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒 || mdg pt. 5

timelines and lifelines have torn you and natasha apart, but the two of you are bound by the child you have created. though subjected to earth, loki, god of mischief, dangles the possibility of a future with natasha by making you a god.

pairing: goddess!natasha x mortal!reader (not for long)

note: this is the 5th installment to the goddess!nat universe, as per the 4k celebration! please read the other parts first if you haven't already. this part contains depictions of violence. this series is 18+ only.

word count: 1.8k

series m.list | main m.list | AO3

Previously…

Your relationship with the Goddess of Lust, Natasha Romanoff, comes to a screeching halt. Torn apart by timelines and lifelines, you’re not coping well, and neither is Natasha — especially when she finds out she’s pregnant with your child.

On the other side of the universe, Loki, God of Mischief, breaks into your apartment to offer you a deal. Worse still, he eats your leftover pizza.

Now…

When you come back to consciousness, you feel like you’re floating. Not in the whimsical, psychedelic cocaine-induced way, but in the Help-I’m-Physically-Suspended-In-The-Air way.

And it is true, much to your demise, because despite the fruitful hours of work spent in the gym, your arms and back can’t quite handle the excruciating pain of being strung taut like a rope.

Against the will of every screaming cell in your existence for you to fall the fuck back asleep, you forcefully sit up and open your eyes.

It takes about two seconds for the headache-worthy hangover to sink in, and three seconds for you to regret every godforsaken decision you had made the night prior.

Last night- oh, fuck. Last Friday night.

(No, this isn’t going to entail a radio pop song with a curly black-haired Katy Perry, because the only curly black-haired one in this story is the God of Mischief himself. Both equally as sassy, but expounding on that would fracture the entirety of the space-time continuum.)

“Oh, you’re awake.”

Speaking of the devil (quite literally), Loki forces you to bring your blurry gaze up to the cocky expression painting his angular face.

“Fuck you,” you spit, dry and hoarse, memories surging through your teetering consciousness. All you were aware of was the mother of your problems was the man himself.

Now, you were suspended like a puppet in your very own living room, strings of golden magic encircling your body, keeping you stretched to the edge of insurmountable agony.

“Funny,” Loki says dryly, eyes raking over your pathetic form. “That’s exactly what you said last night that put you in this position.”

You would’ve laughed, truly, if not for the ache in your ribs and your back and your– you get the point. “You offered me a proposition,” you comment, licking your cracked lips with distaste.

“And you said ‘fuck you’ and threw up three bottles worth of alcohol on my ridiculously expensive snake-scaled shoes before promptly passing out from your hissy fit of a heartbreak.”

“Deserved.”

“I will hang you upside down.”

You roll your eyes – however much you can roll them in this position. “You gave me an offer. That means that I had a say in this, and I certainly did not consent to take part in this BDSM-worthy fantasy of yours.”

Loki scoffs at this, shifting in his seat. Your seat, actually, his black robes draped over your armchair like it belonged to him.

“My sex life is none of your business, and more than often entails men,” Loki begins, putting a finger up. “The only reason I’m taking interest in a hopelessly lovesick woman-lover is because you have something that I want.”

You exhale roughly, lungs and ribs screaming in protest. You weren’t of a godly status by any means, but based on his identity and the fact that a God was lurking around Earth, you were competent enough to figure out what he wanted.

“You wanna get back to the land of the Gods,” you state, eyes narrowing in seriousness. “Like me, you’ve done some shit that made SHIELD put a target on your back. Except it’s ten times worse, considering you’re a God. That’s why you’re here. What you want is connections, because I have – I had – a relationship with Natasha Romanoff.”

Natasha.

It pains you, to even put it in the past tense, that what you had with Natasha would only ever be history.

“Oh wow,” Loki responds, acting shocked. “There’s actually more to you than this himbo attitude you exude.”

You don’t give him the pleasure of a response to his provoking, despite your incessant need to sucker-punch that face of his. But uncovering his plan has that layer of composure slipping, for a second, and you delight in it for what it’s worth.

"Put me down first," you say instead through gritted teeth, looking up with a ferocious glint in your eyes.

"Say yes first," Loki answers promptly, folding his arms over his chest with a self-satisfied grin.

"Put me down and or I won't consider your absurd request," you try again, a wracking cough making your stomach lurch in pain.

"Funny you think you're in a position of power," the arrogant god taunts. "Who's to say I won't torture you to the brink of death until I get what I want?"

"...Who's to say I'd eventually break?" you say finally, narrowing your gaze. You sure as hell were scared as fuck, but you had to survive. "Threats only work on people who've got something to lose. I'm forbidden from ever seeing the love of my life again – I've got nothing to lose, y'know? No amount of torture will get you what you want."

Your little speech of sorts, delivered with an unwavering tone despite the pain coursing through your body, plays out perfectly. Loki's gaze is unreadable as he contemplates upon your counter-proposition.

Unceremoniously, you're dropped to the ground, hitting reality with a grunt of pain. “Shit,” you wheeze, clutching at your ribs with sore wrists. “Warn a girl, man.”

Loki waves you off dismissively. “The pain won’t matter anymore.”

“Wait,” you struggle to say, reaching out to nothingness as the man closes his eyes and raises his hands to the lands you once roamed.

It’s only then that you realise you’re surrounded by candles, so many candles. You’re in the center of some kind of ritual board, and what you assume are ‘offerings’ circle you.

From skulls to black flames, you know something is wrong. Very wrong. Loki is muttering incantations under his breath, a language beyond your human tongue, and the pressure in your room rises to an extent that forces you downwards.

“What,” you ask, exhaling roughly against your cracked ribs. “What kind of God am I going to become?”

Your question goes unanswered, lost in the swirling black flames that surround you. Loki’s eyes open again, and this time they are completely black. He begins a chant, crafted from an inhuman tongue, a language you’d never heard before.

That’s when the pain starts.

You scream, brain waves throbbing, a loud ringing sound echoing in your ears. Psychedelia takes over your conscience, producing images all around you, dark and distorted and everything you thought you’d buried.

“ибяѓюгэю юдякиэҁ, эиѫч ҩ рэд.”

Unbridled darkness, enemy of peace.

Natasha’s face is at the forefront of your mind, unblemished and happy and everything you’d ever wanted. You reach out, spluttering and breathless, trying to grasp that wistful memory like it’d materialize in front of you, like she could ever be yours.

“бцэт юҩщи ҩцядрҩи дю ғдг ҩця ҩиэҁ.”

Put down your weapons and fall to your knees.

Her face gets shattered into smithereens, scattered throughout the dark swirls of your mind, overtaken by shadows. Horrifying screams and flashes of a graveyard overwhelm you, and you yell through the misery for the love of your life.

“тҩ фэн тнэ юэҁѓяэ ҩғ џэиəэдисэ lə'”

To quench the desires of vengeance and rage.

Fury slugs through you, as you crawl away from cold hands that pull you back. “No!” You yell, but your voice is not yours anymore. The only thing to describe what you feel is chaos, darkness creeping in from the shadows, a slithering worm into your ear, a rotting carcass and the stench of carrion.

“ҩҁэ бҩиэҁ сдҁт ҩғ ҁсчнэҁ дию бдюэҁ.”

To see bones cast of scythes and blades.

The world snaps from reality, and you get flung into a different dimension. This place you’re trapped in is unfamiliar. You’re standing on a pile of dead human bodies, and there are ghouls and demons cheering your name. Blackness seeps through your veins, infiltrating your mindwires.

“Revenge,” you spit, a devilish noise, and the cheers rise again.

You scream, as black wings tear through your back, ripping your collared shirt and spreading towards the sky. You launch from the depths of whatever hellhole that may have been, an inhuman screech echoing around the void, soaring towards the heavens in search of the one you’d lost.

“ҩѫэҩя, гдск-щѓəэю юэџѓг, эт ндҁ иғцяг”

Come forth, black-winged devil, let chaos unfurl

Upon descending on holy ground, unfamiliar faces intrude into your mind, prominent and unmistaken. Backlogged information begs its worth — God of Thunder. Goddess of Magic. God of Science. God of Justice.

Then one word rings above all, high and mighty, and the darkness of your mind clears to reveal the people that had taken your Natasha away.

SHIELD.

“энҩгю яҩѫ нэг, ҩю ҩғнэ Циюэящҩягю.”

Behold from hell, Ruler of the Underworld.

Reality drives into your side like a thousand semi-trucks, bright and flashing, and then you’re back in your living room. You stay on the ground, all-fours, spluttering and gasping for air.

Natasha.

Black wings flap behind you, resplendent and marvelous. Those had been real.

Arising from the ground, gone is the fear in your eyes. No more shreds of hope. No more sense of justice. Your blackened eyes burn red, searching for Loki. He stands in the corner of the room, and he seems so much smaller now, compared to you and your bloodlust.

“She was mine,” you growl, dangerously, fearsome and inhuman.

“She is yours,” The God of Mischief answers, marveling at his creation, for there was nothing that could stop you now.

***

“Rockabye baby on the treetop,” Natasha sings softly, a hand gently caressing the swell of her stomach. Colours sweep into galaxies as nightfall arrives, cloaking her land in gentle beauty.

“When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.” As if on cue, the wind gets a little chillier. Worry clouds Natasha’s face, edging in on her safe haven.

“When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.” A holographic image of The God of Justice materializes before her eyes. It meant that it was an urgent message, from one God to the next.

“The SHIELD base is being attacked by an unknown force. We’re in grave danger,” Steve says, urgent and frantic. Screams and chaos can be heard in the background, and the God barely ducks a crashing marble pillar.

Natasha almost scoffs and switches off the image. The Gods had ignored her very existence ever since they had banished you, which was convenient in hiding her pregnancy, but at the same time rather annoying, now that they were begging for help.

That is, until Steve persisted further. “Natasha. This perpetrator has power beyond measure, dark power. It could even exceed Loki’s.”

“......What does this harbinger of hell want?” Natasha asks, steely eyes surveying her homeland.

“Natasha,” Steve repeats, weary eyes hooded with anxiety. “They’re looking for you.”

Down will come baby, cradle and fall.

so that happened.... any thoughts about our new and improved y/n, ruler of the underworld?? loki rlly stirred up a lot of shit huh

reblog or no y/n x natasha reunion

series m.list | main m.list | AO3

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader angst #marvel #sytoran's 4k celebration #wlw fiction #wlw #gxg #natasha romanoff angst

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nats-firefly · 3 months

Text

favorite crime

natasha romanoff x reader

summary: she wanted to sign the accords, you didn’t, and you didn’t see another way out

warnings: angst, some swearing

a/n: i know i originally said no pt 2 but i'm reconsidering (the reason i'm reposting is because i had an idea for a pt 2)

🚩 warnings are clearly stated please do not report/flag :) 🚩

words: 1.5k | feedback is always welcome | masterlist

divider source | gif source

“For the record, this is what making things worse looks like,” She gripped your arm as you walked down the long hallway. “Try not to break anything while we fix this.”

She threw you a hard look and you turned your body to Steve, looking down and playing with the silver ring around your ring finger. Your heard the people around you exchanging remarks, but you couldn’t take your mind off the way Natasha looked at you.

You looked back down at the simple silver ring on your finger, thinking back to when Natasha gave it to you.

“It’s more discreet, so people know you’re taken even when you’re working.”

You thought it was adorable and it gave you something to fidget with on long trips during missions, and it always brought you comfort when you were away. But now it just felt like a weight dragging your body down. Steve bumped your arm, making you look up at his sympathetic smile.

“She’ll come around,” He said. You bit the inside of your lip, turning your attention back down to your hands. You and Natasha hadn’t been able to have a conversation without fighting ever since the accords were brought up. You didn’t want to sign it, she did.

The accords weaved themselves into every conversation you tried having. And you ended up passive aggressively yelling at each other every time before one of you hurt the other’s feelings, the only civil conversation you’d had ended in you lying through your teeth.

“I’m not gonna make you sign it,” She chuckled, running her hands through your hair when you were lying in bed before going to sleep. “But if you don’t sign it, what are you gonna do?”

“I’ll retire,” You said, she scoffed and you looked up at her. You didn’t want to lie, but every other time they were brought up, the two of you ended up in a fight. As much as you didn’t want to. Part of you thinks it’s because you knew they were the start of the end. “What?”

“Really?” You turned on your stomach, leaning up on your elbows and looking at her face, your eyes moving over her lips, her delicate nose, then the arch of her eyebrow. She cupped your cheek, tilting her head and letting a soft smile appear on her face.

“Nat, we’re getting married,” You twirled the diamond ring on your finger, something you had gotten used to doing ever since she put it on your finger. You finally looked into her eyes. “It’s probably time for one of us to start settling down.”

You were pulled from your thoughts as you started being ushered into a glass office, but before you reached the door, your arm was pulled back by Natasha who led you to a different office, one with more privacy and only one glass wall.

“I told you not to do this,” She said leaning both her hands on the table as you sat on the swivel chair across from her, resting your hands on the table and slouching on the chair. You avoided her eyes as you continued to spin the ring on your finger, you legs starting to bounce up and down. She sighed, trying to control her voice. “Not even a day after the accor-”

“You knew I was never gonna sign th-”

“This isn’t about signing the accords,” She interrupted you, her voice harsh and cold. “It’s about letting things cool down for a couple of days.”

“I wasn’t the one who bombed the conference,” You said, your tone mirroring hers as you sat up and looked her in the eyes.

“No, you were just the person helping him get away with it.”

“It wasn’t him,” You said as she sighed turning to the glass wall, making sure no one was paying attention. “And if you listened to me for one goddamn second, you would know that.”

“And if you hadn’t committed an international crime, maybe I would.”

“Look who’s talking,” You scoffed, looking back down at your hand, your attention returning to the ring on your finger. “As if you haven’t committed several crimes.”

“I never said I hadn’t,” Her fingers rubbed her temples as she pulled a chair up to the table across from you. “But I’ve changed since then, I know better now.”

“Really? It doesn’t seem like it,” You said, refusing to look away from her. Her eyes were locked onto yours. You felt the knot rise up in your throat, feeling your chest tighten with her harsh look on you.

“Look what we became,” You mumbled out voice breaking and running your hands through your hair. Natasha took a deep breath, looking through the glass wall to see if anyone was looking and taking the time away from your eyes to wipe the tear that had escaped. You sat back, fumbling with the ring on your finger which made another wave of dread rip through you. You loved Natasha and it felt like your heart was being torn out of your chest by letting this get between the two of you.

“Is this what it’s gonna be from now on? Walking on eggshells all the time? And what happens if I do something, are you gonna arrest me?”

“No, I’m not gonna arrest you-”

“Then what the hell is this?” You mumbled to yourself, but made her pause her sentence, giving you a sharp look.

“Someone will. And this is an office, Y/N, it’s a hell of a lot better than a cell,” Her eyes were cold and her tone was harsh, it tightened the knot in your throat and you had to swallow hard to keep yourself from breaking apart in front of her. “And what if I’m not there to clean up the mess you make?”

“You’re the one that signed those accords-“

“You’re the one that said you were gonna retire.”

“Then I guess you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.” You raised your voice, trying to keep it from breaking. She fought back the tears threatening her composure, it broke your heart. She probably knew you better than you knew yourself.

She was silent as you returned to playing with the ring on your finger, refusing to look at her. Her eyes however, locked back onto on you.

“Where do we go from here?” Her voice was controlled, her eyes also trained on the way you started taking your engagement ring on and off as you were deep in thought.

“You tell me, Natasha,” You looked back up at her, her green eyes burning holes into your skin.

“I want you to sign the accords,” You rolled your eyes, leaning back onto the chair and looking at the wall. “Please, for me.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “I know when SHIELD fell, you took a hit-”

“This isn’t about SHIELD.”

“But it is,” She sighed an exasperated sigh as you looked into her eyes.

“I don’t want to be someone you resent,” She said, your eyes making their way back to looking at her. “I already signed the accords, if you signed it, it would solve the problem.”

“You made that decision on your own Natasha,” You said, barely above your breath but loud enough for Natasha to hear. She stopped herself, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “It used to be different between us, it used to be ‘if you were going down, I’m going down with you,’ but now-”

“It’s still like that,” She said, but you suddenly stood off your chair.

“No it’s not,” You raised you voice again. “Ever since you decided to sign the accords, it turned into you against me. I’m not gonna stop, Nat, am I just gonna be a criminal to you now?”

She was silent, and when you blinked, tears escaped out of the corners of your eyes. “There’s only one way to solve this problem now.”

You didn’t want her to have to watch over you for the rest of your lives. You didn’t want to have to keep things from her, and you didn’t want her not to trust you. You were able to read her like the back of your hand just a few days ago and now she felt like a stranger.

“What are you saying?” She asked, hoping you didn’t mean what she thought you did. “Are you gonna sign the accords?”

Your lip quivered as you swallowed the knot in your throat and rolled the thin silver band across the table towards her. The rolling sound of metal on wood echoing around the room. Your vision blurred and you flinched when she slammed her hand onto the ring and dragged it off the table.

Her face hardened and her jaw squared. She walked out of the room as you fell back into your chair, looking up at the ceiling and trying to keep your tears at bay.

Natasha clutched your ring as she made her way back to the main room, her eyes focusing on Bucky’s video feed, but the sound being drowned out by the ringing in her ears. Her arms crossed around her body as she attempted to keep herself from falling apart. But the look on your face as you refused to meet her eyes was frozen in her mind.

#bonk.nat #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader angst #black widow x reader #black widow x reader angst #black widow angst #bonk.repost

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flkwh0re · 2 months

Text

Casual

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: Alcohol/ Drug consumption, Basic sex, Angst, Fighting.

A/n: Based on the song Casual by Chappell Roan, linked below this.

Word Count: 1.1k

Part two

Casual sex. That's what Natasha called it, though nothing about it seemed casual. The way she held you after, the longing looks she gave you. It was all full of love. She'd always invite you over, mostly for sex, but sometimes she wanted nothing more than to just love you.

Natasha and you were sat next to one another, around a table that her friends were gathered around. You didn't much care for them, you liked Wanda and Bucky though. Wanda was the sweetest, always truly interested in your life. Bucky was quiet, but also sweet which you liked in a person. The rest were loud, obnoxious, and just straight up assholes.

Natasha's arm held tightly around your waist, pulling you close to her as her legs rested on the table. A burning cigarette held between her fingers, occasionally pulling it up to her lips. You'd watch her as she's tilt her head back, blowing the smoke into the air.

On the table was an array of different alcoholic beverages, playing cards, and ash trays. You didn't know why she had even invited you to something like this, it was just a group of her and her friends hanging out.

"Whatcha thinkin' about in that pretty li'l head of yours?" Nat asked, looking deep into your eyes. A drunken smirk plastered across her face, how you loved that look she gave you. "Nothin much."

She hummed, turning her attention back to the game of rummy she was playing. Slamming the cards down on the table, all four aces lined up. Everyone groaned, even though they knew they didn't stand a chance against her.

She hopped up and cheered loudly, pulling you to stand. Playfully dancing around with you, your shared laughter filled the air. Natasha pulled your flush face to hers, smiling proudly and kissed you with the most love she ever had.

You knew nothing she gave was real, it broke your heart. You had spent nights thinking about her, crying because you just want her to love you back. To see you as more than just sex.

Natasha pulled away, a guilted look of panic on her face. You never understood why she would even try to show that she loved you, you figured it was some issue with some past partner, maybe her parents. She wouldn’t dare open up to you, or anyone.

“Natasha come sit back down, bring your girlfriend too.” Tony yelled from the room. Natasha let go of you, and walked back. “She’s not my girlfriend Tony.” Nat scoffed at the man. “Doesn’t see like that’s the case, especially the way you talk about her.” He snapped back. “How does she talk about me?” You piped up. Before you could get your answer, Natasha pulled out a plastic bag.

“Who wants to smoke?” She asked, sounds of excitement erupted from the group. Not you though, you just wanted your answer. “You want?” Natasha asked, handing the blunt to you. “Oh, you know I’m not really into smoking.” She chuckled, “C’mon doll, just one time? For me?” She begged, a faux pout on her lip.

You sighed and agreed, wrapping your lips around the blunt breathing in the smoke. You released it from your lungs onto Natasha’s face, her coughing. “Hey, what the fuck?!” You giggled, “That’s what you get.” Natasha stood upright, grabbing you and pulling you to the bathroom. “Nat what are you doing?” She bit her lip, “Getting pay back.”

Her fingers fumbled with the clasp of your jeans, her lips pressed against yours. Passion ignited between you two once again, tongues tangled with one another. Her hand slipped past the band of your panties, her rough fingertips grazing your clit.

Moans slip past your lips, as her fingers pumped in and out of you. Cum quickly coated her fingers, and she slipped her hand out of your pants. Natasha sucked her fingers clean of your arousal, “God I love-“ Your heart rate sped up, “The way you taste.” Oh.

Nat dropped to her knees, pulling your pants down with her. Her mouth attached to your pussy, tongue expertly pleasing you. Her hand intertwined with yours, holding you tightly like she’d loose you.

You had never cried during sex until now, tears welled up in your eyes. She loved you, you knew she loved you so much. Why would she just not allow herself to love you how she wanted to?

Her free hand gripped softly on your hip, her thumb caressing your hip bone trying to sooth your shaking body. With a final push you came undone in her tongue, body almost giving away but she held you up.

She helped you calm down, and clean yourself up. Sharing loving looks with you, soft kisses here and there in your face. “You okay?” She questioned.

“Nat, what are we?” You asked, looking up at her with red eyes and tears spilling down your face.

“What? We’re friends I guess.” She shrugged, more tears spilled. “No Nat, this. What we have going on. The sex, the way you look at me.” She shook her head, “I don’t look at you any differently than I do all the others, this is nothing more than just sex Y/n. Nothing more.”

Your lips quivered as she raised her voice at you. “I told you Y/n, no attachments, just casual sex.” You shook your head, “No Nat! What the fuck are we?! This is not just casual sex! It’s not casual when I hang out with all your best friends, when you look at me like you love me, when you hold my hand when you fuck me. I tried to distance myself but you insisted I don’t! What two people that have casual sex do that!?”

Your voice raised at the final sentence, Natasha’s face contorted to a shocked expression. Her mouth held open, bottom lip quivered as she fought back her own tears. “No, you don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s all in your head, none of that exist!” She shouted back.

“You’re so fucking unbelievable Nat, I thought you thought of me better!” You snapped. “No you just can’t fucking do anything without thinking it has to mean something! Do not ever come around me again.” She yelled, then ripped the bathroom door open.

“Natasha stop it!” You shouted after her, “Please don’t go!” All her friends now rushing to the two of you, Wanda catching up to you first. She gave you a soft sympathetic look. “Goodbye Y/n, please don’t try snd contact me.” Tears slipped from her eyes.

It wrecked you, seeing her like this. You choked back your cried, trying to keep your composure together. The moment she was gone though, you broke down. Wanda tried to console you, allowing you to cry in her arms.

All her friends were shocked, even they knew Natasha had something more for you.

Masterlist

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha fanfic #natalia alianovna romanova #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader smut #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x reader angst #marvel one shot #marvel fanfiction #marvel #angst

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wandas-lunchbox · 4 months

Text

so sick of you (chapter 3)

series summary: you and natasha have ended your relationship due to her cheating on you. it's been 5 years now. what happens when you bump into her at a bar on your birthday?

warnings: some swearing, but otherwise none

a/n: omg guys i’m acc so sorry this took 2 whole years to write. we’re gonna pretend that never happened…. you may end up having to wait another 5 years for the next chapter

finally i was on the plane. it felt like it took forever. it was an overnight flight which was good because i could finally get some sleep. wanda like the rich ass she is got us business class so we were pretty comfortable throughout the plane journey.

a couple hours had past and we were still mid air, wanda and i were sat next to eachother and in the chair next to me was a fairly pretty woman. ok i lied she was gorgeous. her hair was brunette with waves, she wore these black rimmed glasses and her lips looked so beautiful. i dont know why i noticed her lips but i guess i just did.

oh well.

i decided to get up and strech my legs for a bit, i felt some cramps in my legs so i needed to walk. wanda was snoring next to me while when harry met sally was playing in the background. i took a photo of her for evidence later. i walk up and head to the bathroom. it was occupied.

i stood there for a good whole 5 minutes till i heard faint moans coming from the bathroom. what the fuck. why are people having sex in an airplane bathroom, thats the most disgusting thing ever. they needed to hurry up bc a girls got to piss.

the beautiful brunette girl walks up to me, or well i guess to the bathroom. i admire her face.

“are people seriously having sex in an airplane bathroom”

i laugh and continue to look at her.

“honestly, like i understand doing it in your seat but the bathroom? seriously? thats the dirtiest place on the whole plane,” i said

“she laughs, are you headed to italy or is it a stop before another flight?” she asks

“yeah i’m going to italy, a friend actually planned this as a birthday trip, what about you?”

“oh, i live in italy, sorry let me rephrase i am italian and i used to live there, just visiting some family” she says

“oh nice, you’ll have to tell me some of the great places to go”

“of course!” she smiles at me

suddenly the bathroom door opens and a lady and a man walk out. both of them fixing their hair snd their clothes.

“after you,” the brunette says

“wait, i never ended up getting your name”

“we still have a whole 2 hours left of this flight, don’t worry you’ll figure it out” she laughs

i lock the door and began to do my buiness. i look at myself and i think i’ve seen death. my hair was a mess, and eye bags darker than ever.

i fixed it as a quick as possible before returning to my seat.

i smile at the girl before she goes in. when i sit at my seat i slap wanda a couple times trying to tell her what happened just now. she just slaps me back harder and starts snoring.

this girl could cause an avalanche with her snoring.

suddenly the girl returns to her seat and we continue to converse as if nothing had stopped us before.

we spoke as if we had known eachother forever. maybe we did?

the flight started to come to an end but our conversation definitely didn’t.

“you got a number or something?”

“yeah here let me type it for you.

i type in my number and write “your plain gf ;)” misspelling plane.

she laughs and points it out. “guess you’re a basic girlfriend then”

i look at her confused, only for her to show me i misspelled plane. i laugh and blush akwardly.

when the plane lands it takes forever for me to wake up wanda. this bitch just wouldn’t wake up.

after what felt like 3 trillion years, i get her up and we start to get ready to leave the plane.

we were in italy…

a/n: omg finally chapter 3 is out

lmk if you want to be added to the taglist making a new one

new year new me 😜

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daddynattt · 10 months

Note

Natasha romanoff x reader nat cheats on reader and reader just gives up.

Gone for good

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: angst, crying, Nat is a bad gf, Nat cheats

Word count: 865

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You frown to yourself as you check your phone, no texts or calls from Natasha. Today is your 2 year anniversary and just a few days ago she stated she had a very important classified mission to go on but she was going to take the two of you to your guys’ favorite restaurant. You didn’t mind situations like these because you knew what Natasha’s job meant to her and you would never be the type of partner to take that away from her, so long she also prioritized you and the relationship. You sigh to yourself as you check the time once more. 6:45 and the reservation is for 7. You wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot. Over the past couple of months, your relationship with Natasha has been rocky. As much as you will never admit it to anyone, she hasn’t been a good girlfriend. At least, not the same one she used to be at the beginning. Lately she cancels plans, misses dates you set up and now forgetting your anniversary, you wonder if something more is going on.

You let your tears fall, falling into the couch as you cry. You got yourself ready, looking sexier than ever, just for her to not pick you up. You let a few hours pass as you cried to yourself in your living room, wondering what you did for Natasha to treat you this way. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself, you grab your keys and make your way to the compound, hoping to find Wanda or Kate.

~~~

“Y/n, this is like, the millionth time she has done this. Haven’t you had enough?” you frown as you look down at your hands, playing with your fingers nervously. “I know Wanda but I love her… I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Everything was so good until it wasn’t. Maybe she doesn’t love me anymore” Before Wanda could open her mouth to speak, a drunk Natasha and an equally drunk woman came stumbling in, their hands all over each other. You watch as the mystery woman trails her lips all over Natasha’s neck, Natasha pushing her against the wall as they make out, your heart dropping at the sight of Natasha cheating on you. There she is, your girlfriend of 2 years, who forgot your anniversary, all because she has been cheating on you.

“What the fuck Natasha! Are you serious right now?” Natasha’s head shoots up at the sound of Wanda’s voice, her eyes widening as she sees you. “Y/n… baby it’s not what it looks like” You scoff, getting up off the couch as your blood starts to boil. “You forgot our anniversary to get drunk and pick up some random chick to come home with? How long has this been going on?” She grimaces at your words, and moves closer towards you with her hands out. You move back, telling her to not come any closer. “Baby this was the only time and… and I promise it doesn't mean anything! She doesn’t mean anything. I’m sorry sweetheart can you please just forgive me and we can move on from this?” You get a good look at her, and when you look at her, you see a complete stranger, not the woman you fell in love with, and the reality of it causes your heart to break more than it already has. You love Natasha more than anything but, you know now that this was the last straw, and nothing she says or does can fix it.

“No Natasha” her eyebrows furrow, a frown prominent on her face. “Baby c’mon we can fix this, don't throw it away” you smile at her sadly, shrugging your shoulders. “You already did. We’re over Natasha. Me and you are done, do you understand? I honestly can’t even look at you right now. Please, just leave” “W-what? You don’t mean that” She stands there looking at you, the random woman already long gone, her mind sobering up as she realizes what she has done. She looks at you once more before walking away. Your body feels numb, and the anger and betrayal you feel inside you is so strong, you can’t help but to slide down against the wall you are against and cry. You feel arms circling around you as Wanda holds you close, pulling you to her chest as she lets you cry in her arms for however long you need.

~~~

Natasha enters the kitchen the next morning to find Wanda making breakfast. “Wanda? Where’s Y/n? I need to speak to them” “They’re gone, Natasha” Natasha frowns as she looks at her. “What do you mean they’re gone?” Wanda smiles sadly as she looks at her. “They’re gone Nat, they left” Natashas heart races in her chest at her words. “What are you talking about? Where did they go?” Wanda shakes her head and leaves the kitchen, leaving Natasha there alone with her thoughts. She stares at Wanda as she walks away, tears falling down her face. You left, and you’re never coming back. She stands there crying to herself as she realizes that she has truly lost you for good.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader angst #natasha romanoff

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marvelseries19 · 10 months

Text

NATASHA ROMANOFF'S MASTERLIST

ONESHOTS

I SEE YOU

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Everyone saw Natasha as just one thing but not you, you saw her for who she really was.

Word count: 2k+

I'M ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE FOR YOU

Genre: Hurt/ Comfort/ Fluff

Summary: When Natasha is too stressed, all she needs is her wife.

Word count: 946

FOUND YOU AGAIN

Genre: Comfort

Summary: You lost Natasha a long time ago, what will you do when you find each other again?

Word count: 6.8k+

I WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU

Genre: Comfort/ Fluff

Summary: You found the perfect way to show Natasha just how much you loved her.

Word count: 1.2k+

YOUNG CRIMINAL

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Your wife has been lying to you for months and you finally confronted the girls she was lying for.

Word count: 845

SERIES

I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: You couldn't be happier with how your life turned up to be. You had a lovely wife, a teenage daughter, and a baby boy on the way. But, how did you get here exactly? and how is all working out? Well... this is how.

THE GREEN ARROW

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: Another archer on the team, just a lot darker. How would the new addition fit with the avengers?

THE CITY OF ANGELS

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: The devil walking the earth seemed like something out of a novel but, what would Natasha do if it was real?

#natasha romanoff's masterlist #masterlist #natasha romanoff #black widow #reader insert #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader angst #natasha romanoff x reader fluff #black widow x reader #black widow x reader angst #black widow x reader fluff #marvel #mcu

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spiderfunkz · 6 months

Text

✦ LAST NIGHT, I DREAMT.

— summary : you couldn't let go of what you had, and so couldn't your dreams.

— word count : 0,6k

— warnings : angst!! no happy ending, major character death, sleeping as a way to escape, mentions of medication & hallucinating, grief, natasha was reader's gf, andd lmk if i missed any.

a/n : inspired by warsh_tippy and zelda by whatever, dad. also this is so rushed sorry.

grieving isn't easy.

especially when you're all alone.

you listened to the whispers of the wind, head resting near the window of your bed, staring into the endless-foggy view of the forest outside.

you yawn. it's only 5 pm.

but every hour feels the same. no hour is special anymore. no more waiting at 9 pm, no more bell ringing at 10 pm, no more movie nights at 12 am, no more falling asleep together at 2 am, and no more love letters left at 6 am.

you blink, trying to stay awake, but the thought of sleeping through the day never felt greater.

but that's all you've been doing. sleeping. waking up still tired. existing for a few hours. then sleeping again.

it's starting to become a loop everyday.

your thoughts ramble on and on in a circle continuously before falling asleep.

the silence was deafening.

you woke up with a slight headache. you just fell asleep. why are you up again?

you look around for your watch, it was on the windowsill, you left it there before falling asleep.

you shrug it off.

maybe you were hallucinating.

you walk to your cold kitchen, passing the laundry room and pantry. but maybe it was the hallucinating part that made you hear a thud coming from that direction.

you pause. noises were coming from either one of the rooms. maybe it's mice in the pantry. but that's very unlikely.

tip-toeing your way to the pantry, you open it. getting a clear view of the empty shelves and open box of cereal.

huh.

maybe you were hallucinating.

you sigh, slamming the pantry door in frustration. you should probably take the medication you were recommended.

"y/n, detka? is that you?"

your heart dropped.

you froze. blood running cold. hands clammy.

it was her voice.

you approached the door slowly, the door was slightly open. you could see a figure folding clothes. and then a glimpse of red hair.

you gasp, jump a little even.

you opened the door. mouth open, shocked.

she was alive. she looked alive. she's moving. she's smiling. she's folding clothes. she's no longer the dead body you mourned over.

"nat?" your voice was shaky.

she looked up, your eyes met hers.

you couldn't believe it. you had so many questions. she was right in front of you.

you shook your head. closing your eyes. tears were overflowing.

"hey, hey, you okay?" natasha cups your face. your eyes flutter, she's touching you.

"nat?" you sob.

"yes? why are you crying?" she asks. your mind went blank, you felt like you couldn't speak or breathe. "don't cry, hey don't cry. i'm right here."

those three words made you cry even more.

you hug her close, you hugged her so tightly. you were sobbing into her shoulder, tears were running down your eyes like waterfalls.

"nat. why." were the only words you said. you could feel her hug you tightly. "i'm here." she replies.

everything doesn't make sense anymore. but you don't care. natasha is back. she's hugging you, kissing your forehead. you're crying, sobbing, everywhere.

"don't cry, baby. i'm here." she wipes your tears.

"are you really?" your vision was getting blurry. not from tears. "nat?" you call out, your vision is getting worse. you couldn't make out natasha's face.

"nat!"

you jolt awake. hair all sweaty. dry tears were covering your cheeks.

you look around.

it's silent. and it was deafening.

"nat!" you jump from your bed. running out of your room to the laundry room. "nat?"

it was empty.

it wasn't real.

she wasn't there.

what did you ever do to deserve that? for your brain to come up with the most painful dream? the most painful, realistic dream?

it felt real.

you thought it was real.

but it never happened.

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nattysstargirl · 8 months

Text

The Beast of my Dreams

Chapter 2.

Word count:2460

TW: not much this chapter, some harassment, Fluff towards the end

A/N: Next chapter it gets a little...spicy ☺️

~~~

Y/N texts Peter about her dream, since he's the only one she's told. Of course, she doesn't give him all the details of that last dream...

Y/N: I think I was lucid dreaming or something.

Pete🧝🏻: No shit? That's pretty cool. What'd you do?

Y/N: Walked around. Stuck my hand in the hole, but nothing really happened. It smelled my hand like a dog, and I pet it. Head's huge lmao

Pete🧝🏻: wow, that's crazy

Y/N sighs. She knows she's being annoying. But she doesn't know who else to talk to about it.

Pete🧝🏻: you know, I have a friend who does tarot reading

and dream interpretation, stuff like that. want their number? He sends the number without waiting for a response, and Y/N texts it immediately.

Y/N: Hey! Name's Y/N. My friend Peter said you're the person to talk to about weird dreams? I'd love to grab a cup of coffee.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Sure, meet at May's in five.

"Oh, shit," Y/N mutters. She hurries out of her duvet cocoon and yanks on a pair of jeans and a red flannel shirt. She throws a hoodie over it, because it's been getting chillier every night, then she leaves the door unlocked because Peggy still hasn't returned from her shower. There's a long mirror in the hall before the elevator, so Y/N checks herself while she waits for it to reach her floor.

Dark, straight hair looking as flat as usual. She wipes sleep from her hooded eyes and blinks. There's definitely an amount of what Peter would call "thin privilege" that makes her look presentable. Sloppy, baggy clothes are socially acceptable if you're under a hundred and thirty-or-so pounds, which she is. Plus, she's got her mother's smooth, olive skin tone. And she's 5'7", so the way she dresses just looks artsy and relaxed instead of like she just rolled out of bed, which she nearly always has.

Maybe Peggy's right. A little more effort could go a long way. The elevator dings, and she hurries inside, then across campus to May's. May's is the campus coffee shop, nestled between the library and student union building. The exterior is ugly gray siding, and it'd be easy to mistake it for a storage building if not for the constant drip of students rushing through the doors past other students pushing outside with their hands wrapped around warm to-go mugs of fresh coffee and pastries.

Y/N holds the door open for a professor, then ducks into the warmth of the coffee shop. She breathes deep, enjoying the rich smell of roasting coffee beans. She hates the taste. The shop has a line at the register, seven or eight students deep, and the twelve tables lining the walls are all occupied. After a quick glance around, Y/N realizes she has no idea what this person looks like. She doesn't even know their name. That quickly becomes a nonissue as she locks eyes with a person sitting at a two-chair table in the corner on their own. They're watching her with a significant look on their face. And all the information Y/N has on this person—that they interpret dreams, read tarot, and are friends with Peter—reflects in their appearance. Long dark hair with streaks of blue hair mixed in, lines of piercings, a septum ring, a tattoo that looks like a bird reaching up their neck from the collar of a graphic band t-shirt.

Y/N offers a small wave and walks over. "Hi," she says. "Are you...Pete's friend?" The person nods once.

"And you're Y/N."

"Yes!" She smiles emphatically, despite the awkward blanket over the exchange. She points a finger toward the empty chair as if to ask permission, then slips into it.

"My name is MJ," they say.

"Nice to meet you, MJ."

MJ pushes a steaming mug toward Y/N, holding their own in the other hand. "Oh, I don't drink coffee," Y/N says before politely lying occurs to her.

"I know," MJ says. "It's hot chocolate." She loves hot chocolate.

"Oh, thank you! How'd you know?" MJ just watches her.

Y/N shifts in her chair and sips her hot chocolate, hoping MJ will speak before she has to. MJ does not. "So!" she says brightly. "What's your major?"

"Aren't you here for dream interpretation?" MJ doesn't smile.

She coughs lightly on a gulp of hot chocolate. "I am, yes, but—okay, right to it!" Y/N summarizes the dreams, leaving out the details of the last one. "In my last dream, I became more lucid. I was able to stand up and move around."

"You need to get laid," MJ says simply.

Y/N pauses, then giggles because she doesn't know how else to respond. MJ isn't wrong, but being horny has never given her incredibly realistic recurring dreams about sexy creatures before.

"Would you like me to get into the details of that interpretation?" MJ's voice remains monotone. "I'd be happy to do a reading, too." They pull a deck of tarot cards from their jacket pocket and leave it on the table.

"That's okay," Y/N says. "I just... Are you sure?"

"One hundred percent. From the yonic tree—"

Y/N snorts. "Yonic?"

"Yes. I assume you have that preference?"

"Maybe," Y/N says. She's never sworn off of men or penises, but they just have never presented themselves in a way that Y/N found difficult to resist.

"And forests hold an undeniably strong amount of feminine energy," MJ continues. "The monster inside—"

"I didn't say it was a monster."

"Oh, what do you call it?"

"A creature?" she offers. "I don't know. I don't feel threatened by it, exactly. It's more exciting than scary, knowing that it might..."

"Kill you," MJ finishes.

Y/N shrugs a shoulder.

MJ sits back in their chair and folds their hands on the table. "That's my read on it. Take it or leave it, but I've never been wrong."

Y/N nods slowly. "I appreciate your insight, definitely. I'll think about that."

"There's more..." MJ says.

"Yes?"

"I believe there is a danger in your dreams. If you don't see to it, and soon, it could mean destruction."

"See to it? Are you saying if I don't get laid, I'll be, what? Cursed?" Y/N's chuckling, but MJ is not. MJ doesn't respond.

Y/N's eyes narrow. "How'd you know I don't drink coffee?" She's not even sure Peter knows that. She keeps it to herself because people are usually really annoying about it.

"I know enough," MJ says. Then they stand abruptly, sweeping their deck of cards from the table and a backpack from the chair. "Good luck, Y/N."

Y/N stares after them as they go. "What the fuck was that?" she mutters. But she pulls her phone out and downloads every dating app she can find.

—

Y/N takes her time finishing her hot chocolate, enjoying the warmth of May's before she has to hike back across campus. She matches with the max amount of women the "good" apps allows, then she wrinkles her nose and switches to the annoying app to right swipe until her wrist hurts. She doesn't even glance at profiles. Her own profile is a single mirror selfie in her underwear with her face cropped out, and her bio reads: "polite, tested, looking for hookups." She also set her location to the smallest distance. The sooner she gets this curse and recurring dream taken care of, the sooner she can focus her energy on not flunking the semester. Her mom pays her tuition, under the condition that Y/N keeps a GPA over 3.0 and doesn't reach out too often.

"Closing soon, honey," a barista calls to her from behind the counter. He's wiping down the espresso machine. Y/N realizes she's the only customer left.

"Sorry," she says. "I'm leaving."

"Be safe out there. Do you need me to walk you home? I'll be done here in fifteen," he says.

"Thanks, but I'm good." She smiles, crossing to leave her empty mug with him. The sun set an hour ago, and she's cold to her bones as soon as she steps outside. She thinks of the buddy system rule, but a part of her is deeply confident she could outrun a wild animal if it came down to it. She shivers. The campus is virtually empty with the animal threat and chilly air, and she watches the stars instead of her feet. A loud, barking laugh from her left makes her jump. Four frat boys stumble out of a dorm building to get away from a stern-faced RA with his arms crossed over a broad chest.

"Get home before I report you." The RA's growl is low but loud enough for Y/N to hear clearly across the quad. He slams the door, and the gaggle of boys scan their surroundings like they're looking for their next victim.

Y/N pulls her hoodie strings tighter around her face and walks faster, but she's not out of sight before they see her. She becomes hyper-aware that she's wearing jeans a size too small, and her hoodie is short.

"Hey, friend!" a boy calls. The three others' heads snap toward her, and they move forward in unison. Great. She keeps her head down and walks as fast as she can without actually sprinting away from them.

Just pretend you can't hear them.

"Hey, wait up!"

"Where ya hurrying off to?"

"We just want to talk!"

Y/N's heart speeds up, too. She's sure they can hear her heavy breathing. Her eyes scan for somewhere she can duck into and hide, or someone to help. She pulls out her phone and calls Peggy, but there's no answer.

"Hey, Peggy!" she says loudly to her voicemail inbox. "I'll be home in two minutes! Yep... Tell the boys that we can—" She loses the sentence as one of the frats catch up with her and grabs her elbow. Her phone skitters across the pavement.

"I'll scream," she threatens. The boy laughs. He's white with blond hair and an insufferable smirk.

"Why? We just wanted to talk. You look so cold." The other three have reached them and form a semi-circle in front of her.

"She does look cold," one says, stepping behind her and pulling her into a backwards hug. Another joins the embrace, wrapping his arms around them both.

"My friend is waiting for me." Y/N's voice is shaking as she tilts her chin up to breathe over their tightly gripped arms.

This campus has a particularly significant reputation around their fraternities. And this isn't her first run-in. She went to a lot of parties freshman year that she was way too young and stupid to be at. She doesn't recognize their faces, but she knows the letters on the twin jackets two of them wear. Her hands are shaking from more than the cold now, but she can't push the boys off, so she tries to stay calm and wait them out. They'll get bored. One keeps his arms around her waist and rests a chin on her shoulder. His pelvis is pressed firmly against her back. She flutters her eyes closed and breathes deeply through her nose.

"Where ya heading?" the blonde leader asks. He moves closer to her, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger.

"We're gonna go find somewhere to chill. You should come."

"Aww," a voice says in the dark behind her. "You have to kidnap girls because no one wants to be around you of their own volition?"

The boys turn to see who spoke, and the weird girl from stats class is walking toward them. She's not as tall as the shortest guy, but she walks like she's the biggest one there. She jerks her head to toss her hair from her face, tilting her chin up at them like a challenge. Her hands are tucked into her red leather bomber jacket, but her eyes carry a distinct and clear threat. The boy who was holding Y/N drops his arms to puff his chest at the girl like a cartoon bully. Y/N would laugh at him if she weren't scared silent.

"You volunteering?" Blonde Boy sneers. She stops a few steps away from them, looking each boy up and down before she finally speaks.

"Why don't y'all scurry back to your rat nest and sleep off all those Capri-Sun-Everclear cocktails?" One boy has kept the biggest distance from Y/N and seems the most in charge of his faculties puts a hand on Blonde Boys shoulder.

"Come on, guys. Not worth it."

The drunkest one stumbles toward her with an extended finger. "You've got a little attitude, huh?"

She doesn't take her hands from her jacket pockets as he gets close enough for her to slam her knee into his crotch. He groans, but it's closer to a squeak, which makes her rat comment funnier. Y/N giggles at that, either from the situation or from her own nervousness.

"That's assault!" Blonde Boy snaps. "We'll get you kicked out, bitch!" She crosses to him in two strides to stand nose-to-nose with him and says nothing.

The sober one roughly grabs the other two by their shoulders. "Come on, guys. We gotta stay in the clear for a while. You heard dean Fury." Reluctantly, they follow him. The one the girl kicked spits on the ground and sniffs loudly as he leaves. The girl watches until they turn a corner and disappear out of sight.

"Assholes," she mutters. Then she turns to Y/N. "You okay?" Her voice is quieter now. It's a very sweet tone despite the low gravel. Y/N thought she was putting on a voice to scare the boys, but apparently that's just how she speaks.

"I'm fine," Y/N says quickly. She crosses her arms to hide her trembling hands. "They're just...being jerks. It's fine." The girl evaluates her.

"I'm Natasha."

"Y/N."

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. Can I walk you home?"

Y/N nods. "If you're not busy, that would be nice."

Natasha clears her throat and puts a hesitant hand on Y/N's shoulder. "You sure you're okay?"

Y/N feels her chin quiver as the adrenaline works its way out of her body. She steps into Natasha and drops her face onto her shoulder. Natasha's arms are quick to wrap her in a hug.

"It's okay," she mutters into her hair. "They're gone. Come on, where's your dorm?"

#g!p natasha #lesbian #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel #were hyena!natasha romanoff x reader #Natasha romanoff x reader angst #butch!natasha romanoff

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abbyromanoff · 5 months

Note

I have come to request something.

Remember when we talked about Tattoo Artist! Nat. I want that. Daddy kink, breeding, and just have fun. Add whatever you want to it. Obviously, Dom!Nat.

DESIGNS

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Wanda Maximoff x reader

WORD COUNT: 628

WARNINGS: smut, strap on usage, threesome, making out, hint of manipulation, innocent!R, virginity loss, Mommy (N), breeding, shy!Wanda, think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

“How- how is this supposed to help exactly?” The tip of her cock teased your hole, a smirk planted on her face as she guided you to grind against her length. Her partner, Wanda, was sitting shyly next to the two of you, the ink gun in her hand. She looked down, trying to avoid all possible eye contact with either of you. Nat had always been derogatory, but this was a new level. Not once had she ever led someone to rest on her pulsing erection, and Wanda assumed someone would never agree to the request. Nat was attractive, sure, but she didn’t expect anyone to be as naive as you.

“It’s just going to distract you from the pain, sweetheart. We don’t want to hurt you, right, Wanda?” She nodded, giving you a hesitantly warm smile as you gulped nervously.

“Uhm, I’ve never-“ You cut yourself off, fears rising as you nearly admitted your pureness.

“Oh, baby, will I be your first?” You shook your head, yes, sniffling as your hips jutted lower, causing her cock to ease into your hole slowly. The tip was embraced with your warmth, and she moaned lowly at the contact.

“Well, I’m so honored. Why don’t you place your hands on my shoulders and let Wanda work, okay?” You did as told, your gaze falling to her breasts that were hidden by a sports bra and a loose tank top. She smiled, grasping your chin and leading you in for a long, passionate kiss. Wanda placed the pen against your lower back, following the sketch as you hissed in pain. But it wasn’t from the buzzing object, it was from the painful ache in your core as Nat stretched you out.

“Don’t worry, the pain will go away soon, little one.” She squeezed your lower cheeks, teasing her thumb near your tightest hole and causing you to bite your lip.

“No bitting, Mommy wants to kiss those sweet lips.” She groaned as her mouth collided with yours once again, her tongue making an appearance against yours.

“Mm, why don’t you give my partner here a little peck, hm? I bet she’s just dying to touch you.” The pen came to a stop for a quick moment, her hooded glances now being returned by you. You let her lean close, chuckling at the nervous glances she sent towards Nat.

“It’s okay, it’s just a little kiss.” The two of you whimpered as you came in contact, and her free hand grasped your thigh suddenly. She massaged the skin and caused you to rock your hips further, bringing Nat’s length to your g-spot that cried for attention.

“Mommy!” You screamed against Wanda’s lips, and she couldn’t help the fingers that trailed to your aching clit. Your hands groped your breasts until Nat guided them away, leading you to lower her top and suck on her hardened nipples. Wanda now lacked your lips, and she could’ve cried out because of it.

“Nat, you aren’t being fair.”

“Shh, get back to work and let me play with this one, I’m having too much fun with them.”

You weren’t given a warning when the buzzing stopped, nor were you informed when her drops of cum filled your cunt. You gasped in shock, placing your hand on your stomach and feeling the area. Your womb was now painted with her liquid, and your release coated her cock deliciously. She smirked, patting your back and letting you stand, which you failed to do easily. Wanda gave you one last glance before returning to the back.

“So, if you ever need another tattoo, call me.” She handed you a note with her number scribbled on it. “I’ll even give you a discount for being such a good customer.”

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riveramorylunar · 10 months

Text

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Hydra Agent Reader & Yelena Belova x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings ⚠️: Strangers to Friends to Enemies, Major Death, Blood, Brainwash, Mentions Of Abuse, Mentions Of Drowning, Height Difference, Slight Age Difference, Murders, Weapons, Powers, Shooting, Angst & No Happy Ending

Pet Names/Nicknames: Darling & Natty

Word Count: 2,511

Italics = Past

Y/N had been living in captivate for years. Forced to serve Hydra, a powerful organization led by a man named Baron Strucker, Y/N had been under their control since she was a child. Y/N was gifted with powers unlike any other, and Hydra had discovered this and had used her to complete their missions and succeed at their evil objectives. Her powers were Nanite Infusion, Retractable Claws, Amphibious, Technopathy and Acrobatic.

Before any of this stuff happened Y/N was a normal girl living in a normal town or that's what people thought. She had gotten all these powers when she was just 3 years old. Her parents had hid her away from the outside world to protect her and other people. Her room was in the basement when she had gotten the powers. Her parents moved her room down into the basement so the neighbors wouldn't hear stuff breaking or Y/N screaming.

It all changed though when a new family moved next door to Y/N's 3 years later. Y/N had watched from the basement window as two young girls helped their parents move stuff into the house. One had red hair and blue tips while the younger one had blonde hair. Y/N was confused cause the two girls looked nothing like their parents. She'd watch them everyday playing outside in the rain, splashing in the puddles or watch them swim in their pool when it was hot outside. She'd watch the two get in the yellow thing in the mornings and get off a yellow thing in the afternoon. She always wondered what that thing was that dropped the two girls off every day except for two.

It was summer again and the two girls were playing outside giggling and having fun as Y/N watched when someone landed in front of the window she was watching out of. Y/N tried reaching for it but the window stopped her from doing so. The older one of the two rushed over and kneeled down causing Y/N to freeze in place. Natasha looked up to see Y/N looking at her causing her to smile before waving. Y/N gasped before she fell off the boxes she was standing on. She landed on the couch before rolling off it and hiding in front of it. The blonde haired girl had rushed over and looked through the window.

The next day Y/N was sitting on the couch when there was a knock on the basement window causing her to jump. She turned around to see the redheaded girl waiting. Y/N was about to scramble off the couch and hide but the girl held a piece of paper up to the window. Y/N squinted her eyes before frowning causing the redheaded girl to frown as well. Y/N watched as the older girl wrote something down before putting it up to the window. Y/N just stared at the girl causing her to sigh before standing up and walking away. After a couple minutes Y/N heard the basement door open before quick footsteps. She looked up to see her parents and the two girls in front of them. Y/N looked at her parents before they left without saying a word.

The blonde haired girl had run over and hugged Y/N tightly. Y/N squealed as she started pushing the younger girl off her. "You're even cuter up close" the younger girl shouted out as she giggled. "I'm Yelena by the way what's your name" the blonde said as she got off Y/N before sitting on the couch. Y/N looked between the two girls before frowning. "Can you not speak" the redheaded girl said and Y/N shook her head no. "I can teach you, my name's Natasha but my family and friends call me Natalia" the older girl said before walking over and sitting on the other side of Y/N.

The three spent every day together. Natasha and Yelena helped Y/N how to read, write and talk. Even though it took some time they got there. One night though when Natasha and Yelena were sleeping over people broke into the house and killed Y/N's parents before heading down to the basement. "Who has the powers" One of them muttered out and one of the others pointed in the middle of the bed. "Her she has the powers take the other two to dreykov he'll be glad to have fresh meat" The one said and the other nodded before walking over and injecting the three with something so they wouldn't wake up. The man with the red octopus patch on his right shoulder lifted Y/N up while the other two lifted Natasha and Yelena up.

Y/N had become an experiment for Hydra. Getting tested on so they know what powers she had and how they worked. They'd cut her up and watch as her wounds instantly heal up. When they looked closer they realized that they were nanites that flow through her blood repairing any damage done to the body, providing fast healing, and increasing strength and durability. They'd try to drown her but due to her Amphibious powers she was able to breathe just as much as she could above water. They'd force her to bring out her claw before chopping them off causing blood to seep out every time. She was made into a soldier at the age of 9 being brainwashed to not remember her past. The only thing that remained with her from her past was a puzzle piece necklace that had the word friends engraved in it. Every time she asked about the necklace she'd always be brainwashed.

Y/N was sent on a mission to steal data from the Avengers Compound. "You better not mess this up or you'll regret it Y/N" Baron said and Y/N nodded her head. "I won't mess up I promise" Y/N said causing Baron to nod before handing her something. "What is this" Y/N questioned before looking back up at the man. "It's a USB it'll download every single file from the computer" he said and Y/N nodded before rushing off. Y/N grabbed hold of her necklace before breathing in and out.

Y/N had arrived at the Avengers compound at night. She had disarmed the security alarms and J.A.R.V.I.S before sneaking into the compound. She made her way through it using her flexibility to maneuver through the halls. Once she reached the computer room the snuck into it before heading to one of them. She took out the USB and stuck it into the computer. She watched as the computer started downloading stuff. As she waited the lights turned on causing her to shield her eyes. "Stop what you're doing" a female voice said and Y/N looked over to see a redheaded woman holding a gun up to her. "Step away from the computer and put your hands up" the woman said and Y/N looked between her and the computer to see it's almost done downloading. "Why don't you drop your gun first then I'll back away from the computer" Y/N said causing the woman to chuckle causing Y/N to shiver. Why did that chuckle sound so familiar she had thought before looking at the computer. She shook her thoughts away before yanking out the USB and running to the other side as the redhead started shooting at her. The woman cursed before rushing towards Y/N. The woman chased Y/N through the halls before taking a short cut. She tackled Y/N to the ground causing Y/N to wince. "Drop the USB now" the woman said and Y/N struggled before looking down at the gold necklace that was dangling from her neck. Y/N looked back up before her eyes widened in shock. "Natty" Y/N muttered out causing Natasha to freeze before loosening her grip on Y/N. Y/N took the chance to claw Natasha's arm causing Natasha to cry out in pain. Y/N got out from under Natasha's grip and darted out of the compound. Natasha looked down at her arm to see blood running down her arm from the claw mark before looking down at the ground to see the USB laying there broken.

Y/N made her way back to the Hydra hideout before reaching into her pocket. Her eyes widened in shock as she started to panic. "No no no no" Y/N said as she was about to turn around and rush back to the compound. "Y/N welcome back did you get the Data" One of the soldiers said causing her to look up in fear. "You lost it didn't you, Baron's not going to be happy" the soldier said as he grabbed Y/N's wrist. Y/N stood her ground causing the soldier to look at her. "Y/N" the soldier warned but Y/N screamed before slicing through the soldier's helmet and slicing his face up. "God damnit you bitch" the soldier shouted as he contacted more soldiers to come help him. The soldiers arrived and surrounded Y/N. "Y/N don't make this difficult on yourself" a voice said causing Y/N to freeze in place as she looked up to see Baron walking towards her.

"Did you bring it" he asked and Y/N looked down. Y/N heard him sigh before she was slapped across the face hard. "What did I tell you if you didn't bring it back" Baron said and Y/N felt tears roll down her face. "That I'd get punished" Y/N muttered out before she was knocked out.

Meanwhile at the compound Natasha was wrapping up her arm when Yelena came rushing in. "Natasha what happened" Yelena said and Natasha looked up. "Nothing I couldn't handle I'm fine" Natasha said and Yelena rolled her eyes. "Why are you always so stubborn" Yelena said and Natasha scoffed as she got off the medbay bed. "Please tell me what happened Natasha" Yelena pleaded as she followed her sister. Natasha stopped before turning around to face Yelena. She looked around before looking back at her younger sister. "I think I saw Y/N I think she was the one who broke into the compound" Natasha muttered out causing Yelena to frown. "But she's been gone for years how can you be so sure it was her who broke in" Yelena whispered out and Natasha frowned. "You're right guess it wasn't her my mind is just probably playing games on me" Natasha sighed out as she gripped her arm. "Come on let's go get some food" Yelena said and the two walked towards the kitchen.

Y/N woke up in a cell and winced as she looked down at her arms to see dry blood. Her eyes widened in shock realizing her powers to heal weren't working. "If you're wondering why you're not healing you have a power dampener around your neck. Baron said causing Y/N to reach up and feel a metal collar around her neck. She looked up to see Baron leaning against the metal bar door smirking. "Told you you'd regret it " he snickered before backing up. Y/N got up before rushing over just to be stopped by chains causing her to fall to the ground as she screamed out. "You'll be in here for a while so get used to it" he said before leaving as Y/N started crying.

It had been weeks since Y/N was in the cell. Y/N had suddenly woken up when there was an explosion. She looked up when she heard rapid footsteps. A few of the hydra soldiers rushed to her sell and unlocked the door. The one that was holding the keys rushed over and unlocked Y/N's chains and the collar around her neck. "Bad move asshole" Y/N muttered out as she wrapped her legs around his neck and broke it. She stood up and stumbled forward a bit but shook it off before rushing towards the others and killing them as well. She looked down at her arms to see them heal but not completely causing her to have scars all down her arms. She made her way out of the building before stopping to see the Avengers rushing in and fighting the hydra soldiers. Y/N turned around to see Baron glaring at her while in a helicopter that was about to fly away. "Kill them" he mouthed and Y/N smiled. "I'm done running" she mouthed back as she heard that voice again.

"Any last words" Natasha asked Y/N as she held her gun up towards Y/N who slowly turned around. Y/N smiled before dropping to her knees. "Thank you Natalia for being my best friend all those years ago" Y/N said causing Natasha's eyes to widen in shock before she dropped her gun causing the others to look at her. To Natasha it felt like time was moving slowly when she started running towards Y/N. Before she was even close to Y/N, Y/N was shot in the back of the head by one of the hydra soldiers. Natasha cried out before collapsing to the ground and catching Y/N. "Darling no wake up please please wake up I can't lose you again" Natasha cried out as Yelena dashed over and dropped down into the snow covered ground. "Y/N please you can't leave us" Yelena sobbed out as she grabbed hold of Y/N's face. Blood was slowly rolling down Y/N's face as her eyes were glazed over. The light in her eyes had disappeared and Yelena broke out into a sob. Natasha pulled Y/N up and held her against her chest as she rested her forehead on top of Y/N's head. Yelena looked up at her older sister who was silently crying. "I hate that I wasn't able to tell her how much I loved her Yelena I hate myself for not rescuing her, I hate myself for not realizing it was her sooner I could have helped her break free and tell her that I was in love with her" Natasha whispered out her voice cracking.

"Natasha we have to go" Steve said as he tried to grab Natasha's shoulder but Yelena stood up and shoved him away. "Stay away from them" Yelena growled out causing the others to look at her in shock. "Easy Yelena were not going to separate them" Tony said but Yelena glared at him. "Do what you're supposed to do and leave us alone" Yelena shouted before she threw all of her weapons and Natasha's to the ground in front of them. "We are done fighting we've lost everything and everyone we've loved we are done do you hear me" Yelena shouted before she turned around and walked back to her sister and friend.

Taglist: @red1culous @natashaismylove @i-lov3-w0men

#Natasha Romanoff x Reader #Natasha Romanoff #Black Widow #natty bear my love 🧸❤️🖤#natasha romanoff x reader angst #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff fanfic #Yelena Belova #White Widow #Yelena my Baby 🤍💛#Steve Rogers #Captain America

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sytoran · 11 months

Text

𝐀 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐄 | 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐭.𝟐

the aftermath of your mindblowingly hot sex with the goddess of lust, natasha romanoff. as it turns out, no one escapes the consequences of their actions.

pairing: goddess!natasha x dom!fem!reader (G!P)

note: once again, howdy, folks! this is the even longer-awaited part 2 to the goddess!nat fic! i am terribly sorry for the wait, hopefully this long chapter will satisfy your needs :)

word count: 3.0k

series m.list | main m.list | join the taglist | AO3

Previously...

You, a regular law-abiding citizen, saved the gods by accident. The Goddess of Lust, Natasha, granted you one wish as a repayment. You could've had just about anything, but turns out all you need is right in front of you.

Spoiler: It ends up in mindblowingly hot sex with a certain Goddess.

Now, two months later...

"Baby…" Nataha sighs, her eyelids fluttering close as you move under her sheets.

Or, more specifically, as your tongue moves in her cunt.

There's just something about giving the Goddess of Lust the best head of a lifetime that does it for you. Maybe it's her stupidly sexy moans, or the way she twisted her delicate hands into your hair, or maybe just how sweet she tasted.

Or, maybe, it's the knowledge that you're the only one who can ever make her feel like this.

"Please, oh, fuck," Natasha whines, as you move your tongue in tight little circles against her sweet spot. Not quick enough to make her cum, slow enough to make her feel.

"Oh," she whimpers, hearing the lewd sounds of you eating out her soaked pussy on a Saturday morning. You shift under the blankets, breathing hard as it gets warm.

Worshiping the Goddess as you rightfully should was perhaps your favourite pastime, driving her wild with your fingers and your tongue and your cock.

Which is exactly what you felt throbbing in your pants when a hushed whimper of 'Daddy' falls from Natasha's sweet mouth. Your head spins at the title, just like the first time she had ever called you that.

It was half by accident, really.

On a private rented beach in Malibu, with miles and miles of space and no one else, there you laid under the shade of a palm tree, thrusting into the Goddess with a youthful vigor.

"Oh, you feel so good," Natasha cries, scratching her long nails down your bare back. She shakes with each of your thrusts, melting into your touch like your forgotten ice cream in the Malibu sun.

"Do I?" You tease dangerously, both of your orgasms dangling close to occurrence. "Mhm- Oh, yeah," Natasha responds with a lewd moan, moving her hand down to play with her clit.

That's all the extra simulation the Goddess needs before she's tumbling over the edge, clutching onto you as pound into her cunt.

"Oh, I- Oh, please, daddy!" Natasha shrieks when you harshly pinch her nipple with your free hand. It does wonders for her pleasure.

But as soon as those words fall from the Goddess' lips, she retracts like she's been scorned. You halt your movements.

"Did you just call me daddy?" You ask with a raised eyebrow, as Natasha looks away flusteredly.

"...No."

"Darling."

"No! I mean, well yes, but I didn't mean to!" She tries to move under your grasp, her cheeks turning an incarnadine pink.

You take her wrists and pin them above her head with one hand, and use the other to still her moving hips. The Goddess pouts at you, but you know better than to give in.

"Has the Goddess of Lust never called anyone 'daddy'?" You ask seriously, trying to make sense of her seemingly unorthodox shame.

"It's complicated." Natasha states, squirmimg under your inspective look. She trails her hands down to your cock again, but you deny her of that pleasure. "We're not done here, sweetheart."

"Fine," Natasha grumbles. "That's the first time I've ever called it out, like, in the heat of the moment. I'm always the one doing the seduction and the flirting, so I call my partner that if I think they'd be into it. It's never been… spontaneous, I guess."

"Oh," you say softly, tracing her rib with a ginger finger. "I think I quite like it."

"You do?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, daddy."

"Shut up, sweetheart."

"Make me."

What pulls you out of that blissful reverie is Natasha's whine. You're not in Malibu anymore, you're under Natasha's sheets.

Even then, you've never felt more fulfilled with this glorious woman by your side.

"Why'd you stop?" Natasha asks, pulling the blanket away so she can see you.

You shake your head, pressing a kiss onto her inner thigh. "Thinking."

"About?"

"You."

"Oh," the Goddess replies, evidently flustered.

"What were you thinking of?" she then says, flirtatiously. She adds on the charm of batted eyelashes, prepared for whatever you might do to her body.

What Natasha wasn't prepared for, however, was the tenderness in which you regarded her with, a serene smile and a warm glow on your face.

"What is it?" Natasha says, laughing awkwardly as you litter kisses all over her stomach. You're glowing, sickly-sweet and dumbstruck.

"I love you," you whisper. "I love you, Natasha Romanoff. I love you not because you are the Goddess of Lust but because you have the most brilliant heart I've ever had the chance to feel. I love you for everything that you are, everything that you're not. I love you for your bed hair, and your goofy jokes, and your brilliant green eyes I could melt into a thousand times. I love you boundlessly, across the worlds that divide us. And you don't have to say it back, but just know-"

You take in a deep breath, not realizing that you've spoken so much with quavering breaths like you'd die if you didn't profess your love. Like you'd die if you didn't bare your heart to Natasha. You gulp for air, stroke her face. "Just know I love you. So much. So, so, so much."

Oh.

There's silence, afterwards, like the world has stumbled on its axis and the stars have collided.

Natasha looks at you with an indescribable feeling, like her heart wants to burst out of their seams. It's only when you gently stroke her face that Natasha realizes there are tears on her face.

Why's she crying? Why do you cradle her in your arms with such a ginger tenderness? What did she ever do to deserve this kind of love?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it," you mumble, almost ashamed. You press another kiss on her bare stomach as an apology. "I'm-"

"No, I- Fuck, I love you too." The Goddess voices hoarsely, her shaky tone a far cry from what should be expected of a regal Goddess. "I love you too," she says again, with more confidence, almost as if it would make the words even truer.

That stupid smile is back on your face again, even wider than before. Your cheeks hurt and Natasha's heart melts.

"You love me?" you ask earnestly, and there's such an innocence and genuineness to your question that Natasha almost cries again.

The impact of 'I love you' sinks in. Natasha feels.

She's never felt like this before. She's never loved like this before.

Finally, in the sacred silence, Natasha whispers. Scared to ruin the moment. Scared to tarnish what could be.

"To every universe and back," the Goddess answers, and your world starts orbiting again.

—

Ever since that fateful day of your love confession, the two of you were inseparable. You would look at Natasha with such wonder in your eyes, wonder what you ever did to deserve this, but the Goddess would look at you the same way, and you knew everything would be fine.

She would take you to any universe you liked, across any dimension. From earth-bound lands to intergalactic islands to space. It was as vast as her love for you.

But, you were riding that high with no heed for the consequences of your actions.

You were foolish enough to stay with Natasha, dumb enough to drown out the warning signs, blindsided by the prospect of loving a Goddess.

You should've known, from the start, that you and Natasha were a race against time.

You should've known that it would end up in flames for you.

You should've known better.

—

Since the very day she was born the Goddess of Lust, Natasha had her life laid in front of her.

To exploit that thrall she was given, to seduce men and the occasional woman, to live above and beyond because she was a Goddess.

That had been her life for over decades, sitting comfortably at the top of the chain on a gold throne; Toying with hearts like it was a daytime hobby, then shattering them like glass.

She slept around for the hell of it, just because she could. Just because she was the Goddess of Lust.

Then came along a stupidly charming attorney with a coffee stain on her suit and the most unusual request.

Just like that, her world stopped revolving around what she was supposed to do, and it started orbiting around you.

And, you, were definitely not what Natasha was supposed to do.

Despite how incredible you were in bed. Despite the plethora of orgasms you had brought her to. Despite how she felt her walls to her heart tumbling down around you.

When the two of you shared that passionate confession of love in bed on that fateful Saturday morning, the Goddess knew she was done for.

Which is exactly why she's currently under the scrutiny of Supreme Headquarters: Intervention of Extraterrestrial Liabilities Directorate, aka SHIELD, aka she's completely and utterly fucked.

SHIELD was essentially the Gods and Goddeses' version of a monarchy, that was infamous for its cruel ruling and cutthroat decisions.

"You're a smart girl, Natasha, and never would I have expected something so childishly foolish to fall from your lips."

The Goddess stood in defiance. Despite all her power and her status, she seemed so small in the wide hall, paling in comparison to the mighty Gods that surrounded her.

That previous statement had been made by none other than Wanda, the Goddess of Magic. The woman was a stature of power and composure in her throne, hand poised under her chin like it was a medieval painting.

"I'm not a girl," Natasha snapped at the Goddess, fire behind her eyes. "And I'm very capable of making my own decisions, despite how foolish they may seem in your condescending point of view."

The Goddess of Magic was irritatingly unfazed by Natasha's outburst, flicking that poised hand and in a dismissive wave. God, Natasha wanted to crush that stupid hand.

"Steve, talk some sense into her. I can't bear to hear any more of her senseless arguments." Wanda said offhandedly, looking over to the God of Justice for support.

Natasha wants to retort that she isn't just spewing senseless arguments, but a warning look from the God of Justice shut her up. Of everyone in SHIELD, he was the most likely to give her a fair hearing. Hence his name.

"Natasha, we're not saying that you're incapable of making your own decisions." The blonde man reassures, pressing his hands together in contemplation. Natasha breathes harder than she should be doing.

"We're saying that what you're doing isn't the best," Steve continues, and Natasha is grateful that the eyes are not on her anymore. The God of Justice had a presence that simply demanded respect, an impeccable aura that no one would dare deflect.

"Sleeping with someone not godly is one thing, but entering a romantic relationship with a mortal, a human being, is simply…"

"Unacceptable."

Natasha intakes a short gush of air harshly at the interruption. It's Thor, God of Thunder. For a God who had lived centuries, he was painfully traditional. Narrow-minded, even.

Thor's loud, booming voice carried throughout the hall, from his electric-blue throne at the far corner. Mjolnir, his trusty hammer, was held in his big hands with a firm grasp. Natasha forced herself not to feel threatened.

Thor continued, firm and hard and oh so unforgiving. "Do you want to end up like my brother, Goddess Natasha?"

At that, the entire hall was silenced. The only thing Natasha could hear was her own sporadic breathing.

Everyone, undoubtedly, knew the story of Thor's brother.

Loki, the God of Mischief. The fallen angel, some said. The devil's incarnate, others whispered.

He had used his power for wrong, abused his status to commit the darkest things imaginable. It wasn't before he was banished from the land of Gods, never to be seen again.

Some say he's still clawing his way out of hell. Some say he's destined for a lifetime of hurt.

"Don't you fucking dare compare me to him, Thor," Natasha growls, and the larger blonde man even seems taken aback by the ferocity behind Natasha's words.

"I- I think what Thor is trying to say," Bruce frantically cuts in, in an attempt to mediate the situation.

The God of Science was a bespectacled man with quirky mannerisms, ever the peacemaker. Logic, to him, was most important of all.

"Is that you, Nat, are a Goddess," Bruce continues. "An all-powerful being that transcends the laws of space and time. You have been blessed with such power, such strength, unfathomable to lesser beings. And Y/N L/N, this earth-bound creature who lives and breathes on the very ground we carved, couldn't possibly be who you want to run off with. I mean, we- you, you're so much more than that."

"You're going to love her, Nat? Give her your heart? You, an immortal being? She's going to die some day, inevitably, and then what will be left of you? A broken, desolate mess, grieving for the rest of eternity?"

Natasha swallows harshly. She wanted to despise Bruce, hate his reasonings and refute his logic – but she couldn't, could she? He was right. Bruce was right.

But there was a part in her heart that screamed, yelled, kicked - she couldn't give you up, now. Not when she'd finally found what she's been searching for. Not when she can feel again.

Not when she's found the love of her goddamned life.

"I'm on Nat's side," Tony says, mouth full of a pink-frosted donut, slicing through the tensed silence. He spews crumbs as he talks, but Natasha doesn't think she's ever been more grateful for the man.

Tony was the God of Heroes. Brilliant but brash, proud yet arrogant, charismatic and eccentric. He was a God no one could explain in few words, and for that Natasha was immensely grateful he understood.

"True love cannot be broken," Tony says, folding his arms. "It transcends all else, goes beyond our social status and our physical capabilities and who we are as individuals. If Nat has truly found it, then who are we to judge? It shouldn't be criticized, it should be celebrated!"

Natasha locks eyes with Tony, in silent thanks. The two of them may butt heads at times due to their self-righteous natures, but in the end they were always there for each other.

However, the rest of the Gods didn't seem to quite agree. There was quiet murmuring amongst themselves until Steve began speaking again.

"Let's settle this with a vote. If majority wins, Natasha will be able to continue her pursuit of a romantic relationship with the human and mortal Y/N L/N. If not, Natasha will be forced to cut off all ties with said mortal and they are to never see each other again."

The Goddess of Lust felt her heart clench. Of course Steve would choose the fairest way to determine Natasha’s fate. Of course this would result in a losing battle for her, based on the prior reactions.

“All those in favour of the disallowance of Natasha Romanoff’s and Y/N L/N’s romantic, physical or any other relations, please raise your hand.”

Thoughts of you swam in Natasha’s mind, of you smiling while kissing her hand, stroking her hair while she fell asleep, trailing kisses up her spine on sinful nights.

Thor’s hand went up first.

“I love you boundlessly, across the worlds that divide us.” That was what you had said that Saturday morning, with a serene smile, so gentle it caressed Natasha’s heart. She remembers the warm glow of the sun, the temptations of paradise, the falsehood of the promised land.

Wanda follows suit.

How could Natasha have let it all succumb to this? Why had she let herself grow so soft and malleable around you? The walls around her heart she had spent so long constructing was so easily taken down by you. You, who wormed your way in and made a nest in the center of her universe.

The next hand that goes up is Bruce’s, albeit with an uneasy look from the man, like he didn’t want to be there anymore.

Maybe she shouldn’t have dived headfirst into love with you, professing her feelings so vulnerably. She was the Goddess of Lust, not Romance or any of that bullshit. A long-lasting relationship had been a childish fantasy, much less for someone who was meant to constantly seduce.

Like a final seal of her demise, Steve’s hand goes up, and only then does Natasha realize the tears that have fallen from the corners of her eyes.

There is a deafening silence that follows the grounding decision, and even Tony doesn’t look so aloof anymore. He’s the only one at the table who didn’t raise his hand.

Natasha swallows harshly, in an attempt to calm the building pressure within her.

She swallows again, willing the tears in her eyes to go away - no way in hell would she openly cry in front of the Gods who put her in this situation.

This time, she wishes the ground would swallow her up instead, to whisk her away from this nightmare of a reality and wake up beside you once more.

“You have until sunset to settle things,” Steve says, a painful lack of emotion in his eyes. “If you don’t coincide by the rules, you know what consequences you will have to face.”

For the first time in an eternity, ever since unknown creatures roamed the multiverse and there was no difference between dark and light, the Goddess felt helpless.

Even then, there was only one thing on her mind.

How the fuck was she going to tell you that ‘To every universe and back’ had been a bloody lie?

taglist: @natashamaximoff69 @ohsugar-honey-iced-tea @fayhar @bibliophilicbi @screechcat @rowanyaboats @nahnahnahwhat @the-night-owl-blr @nemowevoli @wannabe-fic-reader @natsxwife @wandsmxmff @enanna-h @jemilyswhor3 @manyfandomsfanvergent @jlsammy23 @spongebobs-tie1 @kiyozoe6778 @lovebelt05 @girllcver @godsfavouritelesbiann @natashaswife4125 @ezay @forthelesbians @wlwfanfictionss @forthelesbians @cowxpoke @supaheroine @saqua14 @olsensnpm @33_mrvl @gay4ols3n @knellyc30 @eatkobi @stitch26gp @cqllarbqne @lovelyy-moonlight @diannaswhore @wandaromanoff69 @shuriri4life @inluvwithfictionalwomen @Cooldogs02 @jedi-athen-orion @alyciaddict @blackqueensforeva @lovelyy-moonlight @gingerninja1993 @yourfavdummy @iliketigolbitties @scarlttolsn @blackbirdv98 @mxxnligxt @riomiyawakisstuff @alex4424 @0DeadandCold0 @mr.romanoff @mandy-asimp @idontwannabehereatm @daenerys713 @xxsekhmet @marvel_simp @maowlxslay @lizbugwanda @peggycarter3 @flositaa @dooblekhay @aliherrerasz @theo-021 @hopelesslyfalleninlove @secretbackrooms @natasha10273 @justyourwritter69 @theo-221b @wandaromanoff69 @eatkobi @lovelyy-moonlight @morganismspam23 @unexpected-character @rdfgfv

ok i’m literally so tired while posting this ‘cos i just got out of a seven-hour flight like yesterday, but i reallyyy wanted to post this because i haven’t posted anything in so long. anyways I HOPE YOU LIKE THE LORE and just a recap for everyone before part 3:

anyways it’s all set up for more angst and hardcore smut (yes i promise that is in part 3)

natasha - goddess of lust

carol - goddess of galaxies

wanda - goddess of magic

steve - god of justice

thor - god of thunder

bruce - god of science

tony - god of heroes

y/n - basic bitch

#natasha romanoff x reader smut #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff smut #bottom natasha romanoff #sub natasha romanoff #top reader #dom reader #gxg smut #wlw smut #x reader #natasha romanoff #marvel smut #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader angst #natasha romanoff x reader fluff #goddess natasha

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nats-firefly · 3 months

Text

i touch my phone as if it's your face

natasha romanoff x reader

summary: nat's on a mission every valentine's day. this time she can call you. right?

warnings: none really, just kinda sad

a/n: happy valentine's day to all my long distance gays. i feel your pain. this was something i very quickly put together. vent fic, sue me.

words: 750 | feedback is always welcome | masterlist

divider source | gif source

You smiled at your reflection in the mirror, swiping the tip of your index finger under your lip to fix your lipstick. It had been over an hour since you started getting ready, the anticipation of seeing your girlfriend growing bigger every second that ticked by.

Valentine’s day is apparently a surprisingly busy time for superheroes, in all the years the two of you have been together, Natasha has been away for all of them. But this year she promised you you’d be able to call and have dinner together. She was undercover as some unreasonably rich guy’s assistant like she had been for Tony back in the day. While he was enjoying the night with his girlfriend, she’d have the chance to call you after doing recon in his private study. Allegedly.

Natasha being away meant you didn’t get to talk or text or see her very often. It also meant since this was your first time seeing her in months, you wanted to dress up for her. You even put on a special set of lingerie under your clothes so you could give her a show after dinner.

You had spent the better part of the day preparing for your date with Natasha. You made a hearty plate of pasta, poured yourself a glass of wine. You even lit a candle. Then you waited.

You picked up your phone to check your messages to see if Natasha had said anything.

Can’t wait for our date tonight. Delivered.

She hadn’t texted you back since you sent her that text this morning. You didn’t know which part of the world she was in, but from the small details she’d told you it didn’t seem like she was out of the country. Maybe it was just not dinnertime for her yet. Maybe something was wrong. Maybe she’d been caught.

You checked your phone again, but nothing had changed. Maybe you just needed to get your mind off of it. You took your glass of wine and settled yourself on the couch, putting on an episode of your favorite show. One glass turned into two, which turned into three. It was late at night, so you decided to reheat your cold and forgotten plate of pasta.

As you slumped against the kitchen counter waiting for your food to reheat, your phone screen lights up, followed by the repeated vibrations signaling a video call. Your face lit up and your heart beat loudly in your chest as you clicked answer.

“Baby,” Natasha breathed in relief when she saw your face pop up on her phone. She had been looking forward to talking to you all day. Her ‘boss’ had sent her on a wild last minute goose chase to set up a Valentine’s surprise for his girlfriend. In true rich guy fashion he had done none of the work, but Natasha needed to stay on his good side for a little while longer. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Nat,” Your finger slides over her cheek and down the side of your phone. Your eyes tear up a bit. Your chest aches and your lip trembles. “I really miss you.”

“Me too, angel,” Natasha says, she notices the change in your expression. She thinks about quitting her job. “Happy Valentine’s Day, malysh.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” You answer. The microwave beeps, but you ignore it, deciding to focus on the redhead on your phone instead. You want to crawl through the screen. Desperation rises in your chest. You don’t know what to do with yourself. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Natasha feels a knot in her throat. She hates being away from you. “Tell me how you’ve been, baby. How’s work? Did that guy in accounting get fired?”

“Oh, Tom? Yeah he-” You were interrupted by a muffled male voice. Then things happened very quickly.

“Oh,” Natasha said, being caught off guard then briefly looking at you with an almost apologetic look.

“Natalie, can you fi-” Call disconnected.

You stared back at your reflection on the phone screen. You got two minutes with her.

You went to bed still wearing the clothes and lingerie that were supposed to end up on the floor that night. With the plate of pasta forgotten in the microwave, and mascara stains on your pillow.

As you numbly scrolled through your phone every Valentine’s day post was like a slap to the face.

Everyone had their someone. Except you.

Happy fucking Valentine’s Day.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader angst #bonk.nat #bonk.angst

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flkwh0re · 28 days

Text

Casual - The Continuation

Warnings: Fluffy!!, Maybe slightly angsty?, Not a whole lot of warnings but this has no smut!

Word count: 1k (literally three words from 1.1k 😭)

Authors Note: Pretty sure this is like the first fic i’m posting here without smut, LOLLL. This has taken too long for me to get out but I felt randomly motivated to write it so enjoy! I listen to Snow Angel two times while writing this. 😭😭(There with be an alternative ending for this)

Tags: @mrsrushman @sgm616 @nikkinss

First part

It had been a few weeks since that night with Natasha, and to no one's surprise she had made no contact. Not with anyone. You tried reaching out every single way that was possible, but before you had gotten the chance all way were unavailable to you.

You had spent most days and nights with Wanda, you couldn't stand being alone. The moment Wanda was gone all thoughts had consumed you, eating away at your emotional state.

A knock came to the door, anytime there was one you would scurry to the door to check if it was Nat. Hoping she'd have shown to apologize, to tell you how she really felt. The person behind the door though was a girl you had only met a few times. Yelena Belova.

Yelena was Nat's sister, you only new this because of the few times Natasha had mentioned her family to you. One of the many reasons you thought she was in love with you, who discusses their family with someone they're supposed to only have a casual relationship with?

"Hi? Yelena right?" You asked, trying to make it seem like you haven't previously spent the past few weeks stalking her instagram for some news on Natasha. "Yea, hey. My sister said she had some stuff here, asked me to grab it."

The strength it took to fight back the tears that welled in your tear ducts was almost impossible. "Yea, come in. I'll go grab it."

You led Yelena into your apartment and told her to wait in the living room part of your place. As you wondered off down the hall, you let the tears slip. Why did she have to send her sister?? She wasn't woman enough to face you? After SHE broke YOUR heart? You weren't sure if the tears were tears out of anger or out of sadness.

What you hadn't known was that Natasha was too facing the worst, if not worse than how you were. She could barley leave her bed, rarely ate anything. She had asked Yelena to retrieve her stuff, not because she wanted it back but because she feared it was just in your way.

The lack of clarity between the two of you was what was tearing you two apart even more. Natasha feared you now hated her, and you thought Natasha had played with your heart.

You returned to the living room to find Yelena looking at a collection of pictures. They were polaroids taken by Wanda of you, and all your other shared friends. One of the pictures showed you and Nat, your arms wrapped tightly around her neck as you at on her lap. Natasha's hand rested on your thigh, and the widest grin plastered on her face.

"What happened between you two?" Yelena questioned, offering you a sympathetic look as she saw the tears stained to your reddened face and puffy eyes. "I thought we had more, clearly we didn't. I mistook her false overbearing love for me as real love." You mumbled out past your sobs that you held back.

"Mistook? Natasha does love you. She's talked about you, a whole lot. She's not left her room barely in weeks." You facial expression contorted into a look of shock, confusion, and worry.

"She hasn't tried to even talk to me, how could she be so upset?" It came out harsher than you intended and immediately apologized. Yelena understood your attitude, and offered to take you to Nats place. You were hesitant at first, but she insisted that she could convince her sister to talk to you.

The drive to Natasha's was awkward, which only made your anxiety worse. The skin around you nails had been picked away, alone with the skin on your lips. It was a short drive, but enough to ready yourself.

Yelena unlocked the door of Nat's apartment, silently leading you in just incase Natasha was to appear. Yelena left you to stand in the hallway while she took Nat's stuff in. You tried listening into what Natasha had to say, but her voice was so horse from her crying.

Finally Yelena spoke up about Natasha finally speaking to you, which Nat quickly denied. "Yelena I cannot speak to her, she probably hates me guts. I can't handle anymore of this situation." Yelena gave into her own feelings, "Natasha stop it! You're acting as if this whole time she did something to you! You shatter that poor girls heart by closing yourself off to her."

Natasha stared at her sister, realization came crashing into her mind. She felt so stupid, so very stupid. After a moment of silence Natasha finally spoke up, "I need to talk to her." Yelena nodded, "Lucky for you I brought her with me." Natasha's eyes widened.

"Let me go get her, I'll have her come in and talk to you." Yelena quickly turned the corner, motioning you to follow. You entered Nat's room, clothes strung on the floor. Bottles upon bottles on her nightstand.

"Sorry for the mess." She muttered in shame, you dismissed her apologies. "I am so sorry, I know that's not enough. I- I should've.. been honest. I shouldn't have ran from you. I love you, I love you so much. I was just so scared of committing to a relationship, I was scared of getting hurt."

"It's okay Nat, but you know that I would never ever, hurt you." You wrapped your arms around her, her head resting on your stomach and tears clinging to the fabric of your shirt. "I know, I'm so sorry. I understand if you hate me, I do. I just need you to know I'm so sorry."

"I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I love you Nat, I love you so much. I wanna start over, I wanna forget all the hookups. I wanna start a fresh new relationship with you, okay?" Natasha nodded, "Okay." Smiles grew on both of your faces. "You better hope Wanda doesn't beat the shit out of you." You both chuckled, "That girl couldn't lay a finger on me." You both laughed even harder.

Nat pulled you down onto her bed, her arms wrapping around your body. Her scent and warmth swarmed you, something you missed crazily. "Wait we should tell Yelena." As soon as the words left your lips, Natasha's phone lit up with a message from Yelena saying, "Bye".

You and the russian burst out into laughter, then shared a soft kiss full of love and passion. You'd finally be able to be happy with Natasha.

Masterlist

#natasha romanoff #natasha fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha marvel #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader angst #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you

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romanoffsbish · 2 years

Text

Lessons Learned

Natasha Romanoff x FemWife!Reader

Maria Hill x Sister!Reader

Maria Hill x Carol Danvers

Unwelcome Surprise (Part 1)

Warnings‼️:

Jesus Christ, prepare yourself for a potentially broken heart, but a happy ending is promised ❤️

90% of this is Natasha unpacking her trauma, and being resistant to the feelings.

Murder, Violence, Trauma, Childhood innocence lost, feelings of inadequacy, possibly more (please let me know 🤷🏼‍♀️)

10k+ words ; Angsty with a happy ending, reader focused on herself and Nat's definitely put in the work as requested which is why it ended up being so long 😂.

Enjoy Part 3/4 of the Part 2 party palooza❤️

——————————————————————

One week, seven days, 10,080 minutes, and she didn't even want to consider the seconds.

If you were to ask the woman what was harder: "Single" Parenting or Avenging, she'd answer you before you could even mutter the second option. After now having dealt with a distraught toddler, and the six year old that's apparently going on sixteen she's absolutely besides herself.

You've barely said but three words to her since walking out on her the night of the party. Whenever you do call it's something along the lines of "Where're the kids," then you'd let Mason talk your ear off before sighing heavily as Lily says hardly a word before you're hanging up, leaving Natasha to deal with the even sadder toddler, and the brooding child.

When she'd arrived to Laura's without you, looking distraught herself she was met with an apologetic smile, then passed a crying toddler. Mason pulled his thumb from his mouth so that he could wrap his arms tightly around his mothers neck, then continued to lightly sob until he eventually cried himself to sleep. In contrast, Lily had greeted her with a beaming smile, and a hug that nearly toppled her over.

————

Natasha was currently drowning in a bottle of whiskey, kids finally down for the night, left wondering how in the hell everything had managed to get this bad. One day you're like giddy teenagers—crazy in love, the next you're fighting like those high school sweethearts who were bound by unwavering resentment and the accidents created in their early twenties.

The family she so desperately yearned for, then somehow against all the odds forged, is now broken, and she's fearful it's irreparably so. With no one else to blame but herself she can do no more than to wallow in her self pity. However, with the kids present she only has time to do so during the hours of 10pm to 2am, before she crashes on the couch—refusing to lay in the bed without you—for a measly four hours before the nightmare starts all over again at 6am.

——

You had spent that first night in the arms of your sister, crying all the tears you'd thought had already ran their course, but apparently that just wasn't the case.

"Let it all out little one."

"I'm not little." You'd grumbled through your pitiful sobs, feeling the way your sisters chest vibrated from beneath you as she laughed.

"You'll always be my little one Y/N/N..."

You scoff lightly, but betray your show of anger as you nuzzle impossibly closer to her for the much needed comfort, appreciative of the sporadic forehead kiss she bestows upon you.

Carol had tried to give the both of you space, but it was getting hard to do in their one bedroom apartment, and she honestly hurt the more she heard your sobs through the wall. With a light knock, and permission to enter granted she cracked the door open, juggling three mugs in her hand, and smiling at you.

Against their protests you'd crawled out of your sisters lap so they could cuddle; gratefully accepting the mug of chocolate goodness in return and cracking a faint smile at the intentional overload of whipped cream and marshmallows on your designated mug.

A curious silence fell in the room, your sisters head falling to her lovers shoulder while an arm wrapped loosely around her waist, the low drum of whatever late night comedy rerun that's on this early in the morning filling the room as you all sipped upon your drinks. Intrusive thoughts all flooding your mind once the surrounding silence seeped in.

"What did I do wrong?"

At the sound of your broken voice Maria was quick to settle both your mugs down on the side table, firmly grabbing your face to redirect your gaze to her as she gave you a firm glare. Having not seen you looking this small since your shared painful childhood, and just in this moment she could see herself pulling one over on the reformed assassin.

"Absolutely nothing. Romanoff is nothing more than an incapable idiot with the emotional maturity of a fruit fly, I told you that when you accepted the date, did I not?"

"Oh you hush..." You defeatedly groan, yanking your face out of her hands and dramatically flopping back onto their shared bed.

Maria jumps to fill the space next to you, jostling both yours and Carol's bodies as she touches down. Propping herself up onto her elbows so that she could stare down at you since you're laying flat on your back while Carol quietly grabs a blanket and slips out for her voluntary night on the couch.

"Seriously honey, you didn't do anything wrong. You've been an amazing mother to those beautiful children, and an even better wife to the woman who's left you high and dry more times than I can count."

Her thumb was quick to tug your lip from between your teeth, then to wipe away at the stray tears threatening to drip upon her sheets.

"It was so good you know... Before Mason was born we were doing so well, then somewhere between Lily's third birthday, and his birth something changed. After her mandatory three months off she returned to Shield, work had become her main priority, it was like she was moving on autopilot, she'd wake up, have her coffee, leave what felt like obligatory kisses to all of our foreheads as she exited, then she'd be gone all day, if not the rest of the week."

"Did something happen?"

"Not that I was made aware of, it wasn't even a gradual shift either; literally out of nowhere she became distant, then whenever I'd attempt to approach her it was a dismissive comment that led to a blowout fight. It was as if I wasn't even worth her time of day anymore, I just wanted to know what happened, so that I could try to fix it. What have I done that I am not deserving of at least that? I have given her ten years of my life, my twenties were hers, and I'll be damned if I'll waste my thirties miserable."

Maria releases a drawn out sigh, not entirely sure how to respond to you, but as your big sister she begins to work towards fixing things.

"I don't have the answers honey, only she would, but honestly I'm not sure she knows why either. I can however offer you what I do know. Natasha loves you a lot honey, even if her way of showing it is backwards, you can decide how you wish to take that information. Whatever you do Y/N/N, don't just go running back to her, but don't just throw in the towel either, not without at least one more attempt to fix things; don't be like our parents Y/N/N."

Maria watches you wincing at the mention of your late parents, but she feels the tough love angle is important, hopefully clarifying even.

"You've put in the work when it came to your trauma Y/N/N, you willingly sought out help, and you are the better one of us for it. You're two times the mother ours ever was, and that's a fact... Natasha, if we're being honest here didn't, and though incomparable hers runs a hell of a lot deeper than ours ever did. It seems to me that she only ever buried herself in you, willing your presence to make it all go away, and for awhile it probably did work for her."

It's true that Natasha had hardly spent anytime processing her trauma before she had met you. Freedom had never really meant free for her, she was able to "escape" the Red-Room with the help of Shield, and in turn she handed them her whole life until she found you, who she then passed the blazing torch to.

"From experience though we both know that's not how the healing process works, I think that something has potentially triggered her and without the resources to understand it's fair to assume she didn't even realize it. We both know she's too proud, afraid even to face the darkness that is her past, but I fear if she doesn't have the motivation to face it she'll just continue down this destructive path.."

Maria's words had struck a chord within you; running from your problems will get you nowhere, and throwing in the towel on your marriage isn't exactly your goal here either. Taking a step back sounded more like it, striking the fear of God into the redhead before you return to her with a list of ultimatums.

"Plus, she put in for a year off as soon as the undercover mission was forcibly extended, which we both know is huge. It's like the former assassin's equivalent to a root canal."

"Damn 'Ria, you should've been a shrink." You laugh out, then move to cuddle against her.

Your genuine laughter helped to soothe Maria's worried heart—you're going to be okay, it'll just take time...

—

The following morning you were off, not willing to stay in plain sight in case the redhead set off to find you. So, you did the next best thing by taking the offered jet—Maria's orders, and the accompanying black card from the millionaire's hand, his profuse apologies more than accepted since you'd now been given this freedom to travel the world as you'd always dreamed.

Taking off was rather liberating actually, first on your list was to travel within the states, and with the jet it made it a fairly easy conquest. Every sunrise, and sunset along with the designated meal times was spent within a new state, with the exception of California, Texas, Alaska and Hawaii being lucky enough to have full days. It took you exactly two weeks to travel to all the unseen spaces, and though it was exhausting at times you refused to miss it.

When you eventually arrived in California, you'd started with a walk along the Golden Gate bridge to catch the sunrise, feeling as free as can be once the ocean breeze hit your face. The way this one state had such a variety of climates had you in relative awe, viewing the snowy mountains off in the distance, while toes hesitantly dipped into Tahoe's crystal clear lakes. Quite the experience honestly, skipping the rocks while grubbing on some fantastic tacos from a truck. You'd enjoyed observing the entirety of the sunny state, forgoing Los Angeles for your children's sake, and honestly being grateful you weren't traveling by car, because the people here were truly reckless.

You were fortunate enough to catch a view of the Northern lights from quite a few states, you walked along the shores of beaches, and visited sights like the Space Needle, or "The Worlds Largest: Ketchup bottle, Cheese Wheel, Potato" and so much more that you'd never imagined needed to be memorialized.

After the states you traveled across the entirety of many contents, sightseeing at the forefront, but more so you'd been on a journey of self discovery. You'd seemingly forgotten yourself over the years after becoming a wife and then a mother, so you emerged yourself into a plethora of new worlds in search of clarity.

With every new adventure you'd found your soul feeling a tad bit lighter; even if your heart did hurt every time you heard your son shriek as you were hanging up, or your daughter's angry breathing on the other end of the line, and lest we forget the voicemails left in the middle of the night wearing you down just as much—you're not sure she even knew she was leaving them though.

The only clear problem ended up being how lonely you found yourself, it was so odd to you too because for as long as you can remember it'd always been just you. Sure, you had Maria, but with her climbing the ranks at Shield you were on your own a lot. Working on your undergraduate degree, which left you with so little time for fun, but full of hope for your prospective, bright future.

Then one day along while back Maria was invited to an event in which she refused to go alone, so she dragged your resisting form into a fancy venue against your will. Silently cursing her for having the upper hand of physical training on a regular basis over you. By the end of the event though you'd loosened up after having had your fill of champagne, and while dancing the night away you'd met the most gorgeous woman you'd ever laid eyes upon.

Natasha Romanoff, the woman you now call your wife, and the one who with one simple smirk, and a charming kiss to your hand had managed to reel you in. A whirlwind romance full of laughter, sex, and an abundance of love. Somewhere along the way though the laughter had died, and all you got were sparing moans, and loud screaming—not the good kind.

So, after two months of traveling, you shakily took the jet home to New York, then set off with your sister in tow towards the farmhouse. AirPods in playing your favorite podcast with your head leaning against the window to take in the New York skyline. Admiring the ways that the sun slowly rose, beams of light shining through the cracks between the skyscrapers. Maria sat beside you in her sunglasses, sipping upon her coffee while fulfilling her older sister duty of driving you through the city while Carol quietly sat in the back reading a book—you were starting to understand why she's such a good partner for your sister.

While you came to terms with a lot, and worked to understand your wife over blaming her you finally felt like you could breathe again. The last couple of months had been absolute hell for your wife though, your unwillingness to even share your location had been weighing heavily on the woman's heart, the possibilities for what you're doing were endless and that drove her mad.

Were you moving on?

Did someone else sweep you off your feet?

Is that why you haven't come back yet?

Did she really just ruin everything she spent years building up over her unresolved traumas?

The fear of losing you had always been her biggest, so she's not sure why she—entirely unprovoked, brought it to fruition.

Turns out your daughter was wondering much of the same... Lily had been hard on you, and had said some very mean things, but no matter what she could still depend on you to be there. Every time she would wake with a nightmare, even after treating you badly, she knew she could always climb into your bed at night. Without fail you'd pull her close, dry her cheeks, and sing to her until she was soothed.

Natasha sleeps on the couch though, and she's not getting much sleep as it is, so now she's left to face her fears on her own. The biggest one being that she somehow ran her mommy off.

Of course she did, she was cruel, and now you're just gone...

"Mama?"

"Hmm?" Natasha hummed, slowly peering over her third mug of coffee in under just an hour to see your daughter's distraught face.

"Oh lyubov', what's wrong?"

"I'm scared mama..." She cries, and Natasha rounds the counter, scooping the tiny girl up and into her tight embrace.

"Why are you scared angel?"

"I broke the family... I was mean to mommy, and now she's just gone... What if she never comes back? Mama, does she hate me? I-I. She's my mommy, she can't hate me... Right? I'd told her I hated her a day before she left, but I didn't mean it, I never meant it..." Lily says in a panic, her words incomprehensible near the end as she began to hyperventilate.

"Hey, slow down there angel... I need you to breathe for me baby, come on..."

Natasha is able to pull her out of the breathing fit, but her trembling body doesn't cease, Natasha just pulls her into her chest even tighter and rocks her tiny body.

"Oh Lily-bug... You have to know that your mommy doesn't hate you, she loves you so very much, don't you ever doubt that hunny. You also didn't break our family, I don't want to hear you saying that again."

"But—."

"No, you're the child here baby, you did not cause this. It was mama that messed up." Natasha firmly replies after taking a steadying breath, because admitting it out loud really hurt, but seeing her daughter riddled with guilt was somehow more painful.

"No, mama you didn't." Lily replies in a panic.

"Honey, I don't like saying it, but it's true. Mama made some really stupid choices, and now Mommy is just taking a little breather."

"What did you do?"

"I also wasn't very nice to mommy, I said some really mean things to her, and always ran away. Mommy did nothing wrong, but I still made her —."

Natasha pauses, decisively she reroutes the conversation, not really wanting to unload such heaviness onto the already fragile young girl in her arms.

"Honey, why were you mean to mommy, hm?"

"I thought when mommy yelled at you she was why you kept leaving, and that just made me so mad. You were always gone mama, and I just missed you so much... Yelling just made me feel so much better, but I know it didn't make mommy feel good, she cried a lot..."

"Me neither pumpkin, I do think it made her really sad, but she's smart—she knows you love her, I promise."

"Can you tell her sorry for me please? Maybe then she'll come home... I miss her, she's a good mommy... She also knows how to cook." She quietly asks over a yawn, her mother's light laughter and warm body lulling her into a much needed nap.

Your daughters confessions really weighs heavy on the former assassin, while barely being around she'd still managed to pass her anger issues off onto your daughter. Forcing her into such heavy feelings at such a young age; she'd always vowed to protect her family, but she knows now that she did the opposite here...

Failures never really been an option for her, and after talking things over with the innocent child she's aware that she'll need to work through a lot if she's ever going to fix this, which is the only option she's prepared for. She'd gone to text you for your daughter's sake, but then she decided that would be too cheap.

She'll call you later, hopefully you'll answer...

Little did she know you were currently stood behind the house, Maria headed towards the front door to enact her portion of the plan. Because had she known the house would be clean, and she would've showered as well.

Lily's quick to jolt up at the sound of the door, scrambling to her feet she runs over in the hopes that it's Lila, or Coop on the other side.

"AUNTIE MARIA!!" She shrieks, pleasantly surprised by her presence she all but jumps into her arms, then in a curious manner she looks over her shoulder hoping to see you.

"Hello there my favorite niece." She teasingly greets the young girl, eyes naturally taking in the mess of a woman on the couch before finally addressing her.

"Hey Nat, sorry for just dropping in, but would it be okay if Carol and I took the kids out for the day? Promise they'll be back by sunset."

"Of course. Let me just go get Mason up and dressed, then you'll be good to go."

"Ooh, can we go to the zoo? Oh, and maybe get ice cream?"

Natasha strides off towards your son's room, shoulders sagging as soon as Maria's no longer visible. For a brief moment her head falls against his door, a lone tear falls as she works to pull herself together just enough to send the kids off for their day of fun, and for her day of drinking to just start a bit earlier.

"Hey Mace, baby boy it's time to get up..." She coos, lightly shaking him awake, and just like clockwork he calls out for you, as he does every single morning.

"Mommy?!"

"No baby, it's just mama." She sighs in defeat, then lifts his body out of the dinosaur themed toddler bed to dress him.

She can't blame him, she misses you just the same, but it still stings for her to feel like she's not enough for him. It's her own fault, she's never been a consistent enough figure in his short life, and now he's only been left with her.

"Come on buddy, your auntie is here."

His face instantly lights up, and her heart breaks at the sight, knowing that he's bonded with his aunt in a way he still hasn't with her just hurts beyond measure.

"Auntie Riri?"

Natasha nods, then his hand drops from hers and he runs down the stairs to get to see for himself.

"No running down the stairs!" She shrieks, fear overcoming her at the possibility of him falling, but as she catches up to him all it did was make him hesitant to be near her.

Mason's not really used to yelling, he's always been a sensitive little one. Lily was a relatively quiet baby, her cries instantly soothed upon having her needs met. Mason was the opposite, crying regularly for more than the basic needs. Lily had been, and still is pretty independent, but Mason's always needed that extra bit of affection, and to accommodate him you'd taken the 'no need to shout' approach at parenting. Finding it for more beneficial in the long run anyways, as shouting was borderline barbaric, and emotionally harmful to any child.

"I'm sorry, mama just didn't want you to get hurt... Can I have a hug goodbye?"

He shook his head 'no' while hiding behind Maria's leg, but after he saw Lily hugging her he hesitantly made his way over too. Natasha heavily sighed at the contact grateful for even the most minor progress, then she placed a tender kiss to his temple before sending them both off with an 'I love you.'

Once they were out the door, and she heard the car had taken off she gasped as the immense, overwhelming sadness bubbled over into irrational rage, a framed family photo caught in the crossfire as she threw it against the wall. Crumbling to her knees at the same time the glass shattered across the floor, left to regret her actions the moment she had observed the scene before her.

Brushing the glass away she pulled the image into her trembling chest; it was a perfect photo.

Natasha and you had taken Lily to the secluded park up the road which was really just a tire swing, and a rickety metal slide. There you stood with a much younger Lily, her tiny arms wrapped around your throat, hanging off your back as tiny legs tried to wrap around your protruding belly—the left succeeded but the right was dangling. While you were fighting for your life Natasha had managed to run into the timed photo grabbing her leg, pushing her up and relieving the pressure upon your larynx. The photo captured as you took in an exaggerated breath, Lily's body towering above yours with a smirk to rival Natasha's, and Nat's other hand was on your stomach while her face was contorted fearfully. What a memory...

"That was a good day, one of our last ones actually." You suddenly said from behind her, causing Natasha to scramble to face you.

The sight of your normally put-together, fiercely strong wife stood before you as nothing but a shell of herself hurt you far more than you cared to admit. No matter how much damage or pain she inflicted upon the family you didn't necessarily intend for this response. Karma doesn't always do the job it's meant to, here it seems to have only broken her further.

"You're-you're really here..."

Natasha scuffled across the floor in a rush, paying no mind to the glass that's scratching up her exposed knees as her body's only goal is to reach you—to feel you.

"Yes, I think it's about time we talk..." You reply with an accompanying groan as her tear filled face slams against the fabric of your shirt, and your hand falls atop her head in a comforting way.

"Natasha... Get up..."

With all her strength she wills herself to let you go, then slowly she makes her way over to the couch where she sits with her bloodied knees pulled tightly into her chest.

Taking the moment to really observe her you see the distant look in her eye, and the olive complexion she once had has faded as if the sun just wasn't around anymore. It's more apparent than ever how much she truly needs some help. Three years of mostly being alone didn't do this to you, and she's only been here two months. Granted she didn't leave you fearing a divorce, but still, this is beyond a simple talk between two broken lovers.

With a familiar ease you had moved around the house, collecting the first aid kit and throwing the trash away as it littered the whole kitchen counters all while waiting on the tea kettle. Settling the mugs on the table you moved to sit beside Natasha, cautiously reaching out, but stopping once her hand wraps around your wrist.

"Leave it." She rasps, but you shake her hold and dab the gauze with antiseptic on the cuts.

"Natasha, I'm not going to leave you cut up."

"You left me..." Her words are merely a whisper, you continued to just work on her knees until you pulled your thoughts together.

The cuts were superficial, so after you slathered some ointment over them you left them uncovered then pulled back to finally acknowledge her heartbreak.

"Yes, I did do that, but I'm back now so that we can talk this out."

"I wanted to talk that night..."

"Natasha, this isn't going to work if we lie. You didn't try to talk, you tried to fuck me into submission, and it nearly worked—once again, but much like you I couldn't do this anymore. Going back to the way things were isn't an option for me."

"Detka, I promise we won't go back, but please don't leave again, I-I can't do this alone."

"Tasha, I'm back, but I'm not back as you want. I'm here to be a support system, to coparent our beautiful babies, and to make sure the house never looks like this again. I'll be staying in the guest room for now until we—."

"No-no... I don't want a fucking divorce, I want you Y/N/N, I want us—our family..." Natasha shouts while jumping to her feet and blocking you from leaving the couch.

"Then it's good we're on the same page then, because I want all of that too, desperately so. You have to stop interrupting me, stop jumping to conclusions, and stop making decisions for us. I don't see this marriage working if we just jump right back into it."

"Why can't we just be us now? I have ten months left of my time off, we can travel with the kids, we can be happy, I want to be happy."

"Being happy starts with you Nat, whatever it is you're holding onto you need to let it all go. You need to seek outside help, you're so angry, but deep down I know you're drowning in sorrow, and burying yourself in us clearly stopped working for you a long time ago."

"That's easy enough for you to say, how do I just let it all go? All that I've lived through, that I've done to others, I'm just meant to let it go?"

"Yeah, you need to let it fucking go, because the longer you hold on, the more you're going to continue to lose. I've never been a fan of ultimatums, but fuck, Natasha this is mine!"

"What are you saying?"

"You need to get help, or this won't work, and then divorce would be our only option. Our kids deserve two happy parents, I refuse to be to my children what my parents were to me. Maria and I survived by the skin of our teeth, and I'll be damned if Lily and Mason are made to do the same. We have a chance here to give our kids what we never had and we're fucking it up Natasha. Mason deserves to know his other mother, and Lily shouldn't have to hate me to love you."

Natasha's taken aback by your words, looking deeply into your eyes she sees this is truly it. Either she gets the "help", or you're gone for good, and two months without you was enough for her to never want that again, so she nods. Then taking tentative steps she moves forward until she straddles your lap, and buries her face into the crook of your neck.

"Natasha..."

"Please...? Just hold me, please..."

Your arms wrap around her waist, allowing her this moment of comfort, because in the end she's still your wife, and she's not a horrible person, she's the furthest thing from that.

"I promise to fix this Y/N/N... I can't lose you, I won't survive it."

"I know you will Tasha, and I promise to be here every step of the way, now get some rest."

You pulled the blanket from off the top of the couch to place over her, turning the TV on low to watch a random comedy rerun while you simultaneously soothed the body atop of yours until it fell slack. Then after she was in a deep sleep you placed a lingering kiss to her forehead before gently slipping her onto the couch and moving to clean up the disaster that is your shared home before getting started on dinner.

—

Maria came back three hours later with a sleeping toddler and an exhausted little girl. With her spare key she unlocked the door, and as soon as the smell of borscht hit Lily's nose her whole body perked up, dropping her aunts hand in favor of running into the kitchen.

"Mommy you're back!" She shouts excitedly, but you're quick to shush her while also dropping to your knees to fully embrace her.

Once you've got her in your arms you stand once more, stirring the soup when you feel her body start to tremble in your hold.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

You tried to set her down but her hold became unbearably tight and you realized she was indeed scared

"Put him with Nat, and stir the soup please. There's bowls for all of us." You instructed your older sister, ignoring the playful muttering of 'bossy' she throws your way as you make your way upstairs.

Once the both of you came back downstairs Natasha already had Mason in his seat, and was helping Maria to set the table. Maria noticed you first, sending up a sympathetic smile when your eyes instantly fell to the to go containers in her hand.

"Duty calls." She jests with the tupperware lifted in the air and arms wide open to say goodbye.

You'd walked around the corner, and while hugging her goodbye Mason began to squirm in his seat so you cut the embrace short and moved to pick him up, and for the third time today someone was clinging to you like a koala.

That night you went to sleep in the guest room with Mason already clinging to you, and by the time the clock struck one your bed was full. Though it wasn't part of your plan, you knew it would be an adjustment, so for the time being you let it be, and if you were being honest with yourself really it wasn't that hard to do.

——

Natasha was really starting to wonder if divorce was that bad as she sat in the waiting room to meet her therapist, the one designated for the Avengers, and all their extended members.

She's lived a whole life without you, she could easily do it... right?

"Natasha Romanoff? Miss Montague will see you now."

Natasha took a moment to collect herself, wringing her hands out a few times before switching a flip and confidently walking through the doors as the perplexed receptionist stood in wait.

Natasha entered the woman's office and the sight of the tidy, almost clinical environment had her stomach turning with uneasiness. Regardless of her feelings though she sat down, and for her entire session just sat there staring the woman down, the psychologist's gaze never wavering as she left the floor open to her.

"Well, Mrs. Romanoff that was a great first session, I'll see you again next week at the same time, thank you for coming in."

Natasha scoffs as she's practically shoved out of the office, but for some reason she can't fight the fact that she feels microscopically better.

—

The next session's a bit more involved as she introduces "herself" to the woman, barely scratching the surface when she mutters out:

"I'm Natasha, and I'm here to fix my marriage with Y/N, and then hopefully we'll be a happy family again."

Natasha felt incredibly brave for having even mentioned the problem at hand, but Miss Montague felt differently, as she chuckled inappropriately in response while closing her notebook and leaning onto her elbows that were flat on the desk separating them to hold her stare as she spoke.

"That might be your goal Natasha, but that's not why you're here, so how about we try to get passed this game of surface level deflection here and you can tell me exactly what I need to hear to get you to where your wife and kids need you to be, and where you deserve to be."

Natasha abruptly stood at the women's words, followed shortly by the slamming of her doors, and when she was about halfway home on her bike she pulled off onto the barren exit and burst into tears. Thirty minutes later she was back in the office, and angrier than ever.

"Listen, this is all so fucking pointless! Y/N deserves better than me, she always has. I'm nothing more than a trained killer, these hands were designed to inflict pain, not to show love. I was selfish, I wanted something I was never meant to have, and now they're suffering because I can't live up to it. My son won't even look at me now that Y/N's back home, and my daughter is still so angry because I taught her to be nothing more than that. Y/N's trying to fix me, but I don't think that's possible, why can't she fucking see that? She wants me to let go, but it would be so much easier if she was to do it instead, she should just let me go..."

"Well that's just not true Mrs. Romanoff, I'm sat here before you and I see so much more than what you are saying. You are a wife, and a mother, and just because you obviously feel undeserving doesn't change the fact that you've made these decisions that led to where you are. We also both know you wouldn't even be here if you wanted her to leave you. Something I'd said clearly upset you, and you're just trying to protect yourself. Self preservation can be just as detrimental as it can be beneficial."

Natasha's anger was slowly fading to sadness, feet moving of their own accord to have her sitting down before her therapist once more, her cracked heart somewhat ready to listen to reason.

"Here's what I'm going to offer you from this moment forward. You'll be honest, completely, because I'm here to help you out—not judge, and there's nothing you'll say that will scare me off either. I'm the Avengers shrink for Christ sake, none of you got here because you had normal upbringings. Honesty is the only way we get you healed Natasha, so if you're down to try, I'm here to help. If you're not then I fear you'll lose everything, and as much as you try to hide from me I can see the fear in your eyes at that very prospect. I'm not in the business of sugar coating—you won't survive this loss."

—

The next few sessions work much the same, Natasha tells partial truths, gets called out, and then after a moment of anger she reveals more of herself to the shrink, and little by little you begin to take notice of her at home.

The new effort she is putting forth is obvious, and you can easily tell it's organic and not some temporary forced fix to convince you. Without overstepping, or halting her progress you make a conscious effort to give her more. Subtle initiations of physical contact, late night walks as a family, and family movie nights with the Barton's where you sit beside her and allow your fingers to brush. Natasha appreciates the intimacy, but she'd be lying to say she doesn't want more, feeling like she's flirting with the idea of dating her wife is just strange to her.

—

"So, Natasha, it's been two months, and as great as this is going we've already reached a sort of plateau, I know somethings holding us back. How are things with Mason? Let's talk about him and what is it that changed be—."

"You know, Lily did this adorable thing when she was a baby. She'd purse her little lips, and just blow these little spit bubbles, Y/N thought it was so gross, but it was honestly really cute."

"Natasha, we're talking about Mason here."

"There's nothing to say, he's my son, but clearly I'm not his mama..." She snaps, a certain edge to her voice that shows she's uncomfortable, but is that not what therapy's meant for...?

"He's three, and you weren't exactly there, if I remember correctly you missed his last birthday."

"I was on a mission..." She weakly defends, but from previous sessions they both know it was an avoidable one.

"Doesn't change the fact that he has a right to be hesitant of you, but you however have no right to give up on him, so let's go through the days leading up to his birth. There has to be something we're missing here, or better yet something you're holding onto and refusing to let go."

"Everything was fine."

"Natasha, stop deflecting."

"No, it was, Y/N was so cuddly and needy just like when she was pregnant with Lily, it was perfect. Then she gave birth, and when we got home he just wouldn't stop crying, and I-I..."

Natasha can't exactly fight the tears as she is violently thrown into an unfavorable memory from her past, one that she'd suppressed with a bottle of vodka within the same night—perks of being the top widow at the time.

•~~~~~•~~~~~•—•~~~~~•~~~~~•

"Natalia, these are the targets, leave nothing behind. Are we clear?"

"Yes madam." Natasha monotonously responds, politely grabbing the file out of her hand then she's making her way to the weapons room to gather her collection.

She'd taken two trains and a bus, completely undetected, and she's just as efficient when she climbs into the German Townhouse to wait for her targets to return home. The file, as usual, proclaims these individuals to be traitors of the highest degree and she knows better than to ask for clarification. Harsh training had left her void of the will to ask, but it never left her without a deep pain in her chest.

She was observant as can be, the room she climbed into told her that she'd been sent to kill someone's parents, but the file didn't. Natasha was trained to kill, it was an effortless swan's dance at this point, but killing children was a hard concept for her, she'd never been made to kill one before, and she's not entirely sure she had it in her.

The sound of a door clicking announced to her of their return, she shook the fear from her heart and made her way through the halls. The parents knew immediately that this was it, the cold breeze in their house enough of a warning, but they knew better than to run. Instead they shoved their four year old into the specialty designed closet, texted a friend for his safe retrieval, then sat on the couch.

Natasha rounded the corner to see them, their pensive expression telling her that they're ready, so she makes it a quick process for them. Two silenced gunshots, one between his eyes, the other right through her chest, then she goes to head for the closet; mind on autopilot as she wills her body to kill the innocent child, after already killing the most likely just as innocent parents.

"Bitte tu ihm nichts, sie wissen nichts von ihm, lass ihn gehen. Er ist ein guter Junge"

(Please dont hurt him, they don't know about him, let him go. he's a good boy.)

Natasha hesitates with her hand over the closet doorknob, she could just go, her mission for all they know is completed, but she had express instructions to leave nothing behind, and nothing includes witnesses, but he had yet to see her face.

"Das verspreche ich." The dying mother pulls her from her internal debate as she pleads once more for her sons life.

(I promise)

Natasha sees the look in her eyes, the honesty jumping out as the life itself drains from them, and Natasha decides in the moment it is best to leave him be, so she wipes the gun to place in the husbands hands, then she disappears into the shadows.

"Mama.. Mama wake up.." He cries over the limp body, her green eyes notice his desperate pair of blue from the shadows she hides in.

His tears never stop, heartbreaking sobs continue to leave him as he lays his head over his mothers chest, her stilled heart beneath his ears. Her own guarded heart shattering as she watches the innocence slowly leaves him, the same way she'd watched it leave Yelena's, all the while ignoring the little girl that she once was. She finally leaves the scene after the boy's received safe passage, but his cries for his mama never once leave her mind, deeply etched into her heart, left there to remind her every day that she is the monster they set out to make her.

•~~~~~•~~~~~•—•~~~~~•~~~~~•

"Natasha, that wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was, why can't you see that?"

The shrink stops herself from interjecting, seeing this as a potential breaking point for the former assassin as she'd yet to tremble like this before.

"What's worse is that was my last mission before my deflection, the same one that left me to murder a little girl in the name of freedom. Couldn't kill him, but for an end to my own suffering I could kill her, and it turns out I didn't even do that right; I just disfigured her and left her and my little sister Yelena behind to fend for themselves against that vile man—I'm no better than he is, can't you see?"

Miss Montague takes cautious steps to kneel before Natasha who's sat on the couch, taking her hands into her own for the obvious needed comfort, and Natasha's teary eyes lift to meet her softened brown ones.

"How can I hold my crying baby, and try to soothe him and allow him to find comfort in calling me mama when that little boy never got to do the same?"

"Natasha, you didn't have any say in the matter, and when given the choice you actively spared him. Nothing you did is something that I can forgive you for, and it seems to me you're unwilling to forgive yourself. You have to stop torturing yourself for the things you were forced to do, you need to then seek forgiveness, and maybe then you can forgive yourself too."

"What? Am I just meant to find him and say 'Sorry for killing your parents?'" Natasha snaps at her shrink for what's probably the millionth time, but Montague isn't phased.

"No, that's too literal, and a bit morbid. Seek it out where you can actually get it."

"Please, stop speaking in riddles for once!!" She groans, hands yanked back to run down her face in frustration.

"Yelena—start there, you've made amends, but now go and say sorry again like you mean it. Next apologize to Y/N, share with her what you can, then say you're sorry for the last three years you couldn't be who she needed you to be. Then finally, look Mason in his eyes, and force yourself to feel the love he has for you. When Y/N left he trusted you enough to care for him, and when given no choice you were able to do it; it's honestly likely his hesitation is spurred on by your own to let him love you."

Natasha nods in sudden understanding, frantically jumping to her feet she bids her goodbye with the promise of seeing her next week, because they're far from done here. Leaving to race off to Yelena's, a pitstop for booze a necessity before she's then pounding on her sister's door.

"Natasha, what are you doing here? Did something happen to Y/N? The kids?"

"I'm sorry."

Yelena, though confused, closes the door as her frantic—seemingly unhinged—sister brushes past her to sit on the couch and pops open two entire bottles of vodka.

"Natasha, what are you—?"

"Sidet!"

Yelena sits, not entirely sure why she's taking orders from her sister in her own house but alas she does it, gratefully accepting the bottle of booze in temporary lieu of an explanation.

Natasha and Yelena drink silently for an hour before the redhead bleeds her heart out to her little sister, to which Yelena embraces her wholeheartedly, and repeatedly reassures her that she's more than forgiven. Truly, both of them needed this moment of brutal unpacking. Yelena feels far less alone in hearing her sister's struggles when compared to her very own, and Natasha never realized how much she needed the forgiveness of her mladshaya sestra until she genuinely had it.

"Natalia, I forgive you, and I love you so much..."

——

Natasha's appointment had been at 2PM, and seeing as how she missed the family movie night you were feeling a whole hell of a lot when she still hadn't shown at 10PM. An all too familiar pain reemerging in your chest as you start to think that all the progress had been an elaborate ruse, that your marriage was over.

The wine clouded your mind, and the tears readily fell as you began to come to terms with the end of all you'd ever wanted. Sounds, and visuals around you blurred, leaving you to miss the jingling keys, and the fast approaching steps, all that brings you out of it is the feel of rough hands holding your face.

"Detka, what's wrong?"

Her voice—deep, sexy, full of love and concern, but mostly infuriating.

"Don't touch me."

Natasha ignores you, quickly lifting your body up and carrying you out to the porch to avoid waking the kids.

"I thought you were getting better, but it appears to me it was a short lived fantasy." You seethe as soon as she settles you down.

"Detka..."

"No, I'll have all your stuff packed by tomorrow night, you can stay at the Barton's."

Natasha's hands firmly grip you by the shoulders, guiding your body into the pillar before she shouts in your face.

"I'm sorry!"

Natasha and apologies don't usually happen often, so your mouth shuts and your eyes widen, opening the floor for her to elaborate.

"We had a breakthrough today..."

Her trembling lip, and disheveled features finally catch in your visual, so without a second thought you pull her into your embrace and settle the both of you down in the swinging chair, hand over her own to comfort her.

"I went to see Lena, and we had a breakthrough of our own actually..."

Her fingers play with the rings on your fingers, head adjusting on your shoulder so that she could peer up at you when she spoke next.

"... I've done bad things Y/N/N, and I'm scared that if I tell you exactly what I've done you'll run, and that'll hurt me so much worse than you leaving because I pushed you to do it."

"Have a little more faith in me Nat, I didn't exactly enter this relationship lightly, nor did I bring children into the world with you without thinking it through. I know enough about your past to know you've been made to do some horrific things but that's neither her nor there. Your past changes nothing for me, because above all else I know your heart, and it's gold... After the last three years I wouldn't still be fighting for us if I didn't know that my Natty is still in there deep down."

Natasha sobs against your chest, but unlike the last few times it's obvious to you this isn't a pity party, or some ploy to get you to give in; this is raw, unadulterated pain and you can tell that much by the way her body violently shakes and how she has to work overtime just to breathe air into her lungs, her heaving chest without reprieve causes a panic to settle deep within your body.

Terrified you do just about everything you can to calm her down, but the only thing that ends up working is the shock of your lips firmly pressed to hers. Once she catches up she's desperately trying to kiss you back, hands linking around your neck to keep you planted there, and for just a moment you give into the euphoric feeling of having your wife's body flush against your own, arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Tasha, honey... Let's focus here..."

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I never meant to hurt you this badly, I was just so scared..."

"I get that honey, but what exactly happened?"

"Mason... He—."

Your heart twinges in anger at the mention of your beautiful son's name, but you hold back, allowing her the chance to explain before you prematurely lose it on her.

"He triggered something in me, I'd buried it for so long that I'd began to live my life like it never even happened, and that just makes it so much worse because I didn't deserve to forget. I deserved to feel miserable for what I did."

"Did you have a choice?"

"I don't know, it was my hands was it not?"

"Tasha, just tell me what you need to, help me to understand. I want to forgive you, and most of me already has, but you need to work with me. You can't just say Mason's the problem, then not tell me why, that's our son in there."

"That's not what I said, I said he triggered me, he's not the problem, he never was, I am." She huffs angrily, all her previous sadness from the painful memories crashing down on her again.

"None of that either Tasha, you're not the problem, you're just dealing with them. What do you need from me? A promise? I promise that I love you, and no matter what you say I still will."

"I-I love you too..." She quietly whispers as she takes a steadying breathe before sitting up straighter to finally open her heart to you in every way that she always should've.

Natasha candidly speaks, and you quietly listen while using your legs to get the chair to swing. Watching the pain swirling beneath her eyes and using your touch to soothe her as best you could, but your heart was absolutely breaking for the uncharacteristically fragile woman. Her words eventually died off once her twisted tales came to an end, she just resided in your lap, sniffling every once in awhile as she came down from her heightened storytelling and you got your thoughts together.

"Oh honey, my beautiful, sweet angel, none of that was your fault, and you shouldn't have to carry the burden of it either. You won't want to hear this but you were just as innocent as he was, you were just doing what you had to to survive, and the fact that you hesitated told me that boy was always safe with you. These hands of yours are built to love, and have been used to do so countless times, and I know they'll continue to do so as we navigate through this life together." You reason, your right hand rising, thumb slowly tracing over her features while wiping away at her tears, and pulling her lip from between her teeth before dropping to lift her hand up, and slowly linking your hands to provide emphasis to your words.

"I mean, look at you now. Everything they said you couldn't be you became it anyways in spite of them, you became a mother, you're my wife, and fuck Nat, you're even a superhero. So many little kids look up to you; for all the lives that you've been made to take you've made up for it tenfold with the one's you've saved." You reply, an obvious air of anger to your tone as you passionately do so, only really softening at the subtle flinching of her features.

"That little boy, as tragic as his story was is most likely doing just fine Nat. Children are so incredibly resilient, and he was so young that his brain most likely shielded him as he aged. The only ones to blame here are the redroom—Dreykov or Madam, shit—even his parents. They brought him into the world knowing the enemies they made, and instead of protecting him they left him open to a world of hurt. A parents love for their child is supposed to be strong enough to put them first, and they failed to do that, they were selfish and held onto him until their dying breath, and nearly cost him his own life."

Natasha's face twists as your hopeful words hit, she'd never imagined him as doing anything other than suffering, so to imagine he somehow overcame it and is thriving is a nice perspective, and she knows you're more than likely right.

"Forgive yourself for not being able to undo all the pain you've caused so that you can finally be free Natalia; Forgive yourself for not being the person we all needed you to be; Forgive your inner child for the life she never got to live, and learn to heal her through our kids; Forgive yourself so that we can love you fully, because that's all we all want to do."

Natasha's body began to tremble once again as your words permeated deep into her psyche, but then a soft sniffle from the left caught both of your attentions, the assassins head lifting and her bleary eyes settling on the petrified young boy. Stood there with a thumb in his mouth, a blanket and teddy clutched to his chest, and eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Mama, please no cry..." He himself sobbed, tiny empathetic body rushing to climb onto the swing, struggling as he does.

He forcefully squeezed into the space between the both of you, laying his blanket over his legs and delicately placing his teddy into her arms while twisting and throwing his tiny arms tightly around her neck and burying himself against her. Natasha's right arm stays behind your back, but her left desperately clings to his body, and once her eyes meet your adoring ones the dam breaks wide open, tears never stopping no matter how hard he pleaded with her through his own sobs to stop, both only ever ceasing to do so when the both of them fell asleep on your lap.

"Hey there, need some help?"

Your gaze slowly travels from the peaceful faces sat upon you over to Clint, and he sends you an easy smile.

"How'd you find us?" You tease the former spy, and he quirks his brow at you playfully before gesturing to the brunette who was stood in watch upon the porch next door.

He's quick to approach with buff arms at the ready to free you from your pretty comfortable confinement. He follows behind you with the mother son duo still fast asleep against his chest, and you open the door to your shared room for him to settle them down in the bed.

"You going to sleep in there with them tonight?" He quietly asks you as he leaves the door open just a crack, and judging by the inflection in his voice he's clearly aware of your sleeping schedule as of late.

"Mhm, I'm just going to get her some Tylenol, and water for the headache she's likely to have come morning, thanks for your help Clint." You politely reply, avoiding his attempt to snoop for his wife—the sneaky little minx she is, then you wish him a goodnight while locking the doors.

Shutting down the house you happily throw back the remainder of your wine glass before making your way to bed, nearly going into the guest on instinct before redirecting your feet. Upon entering the room you see Natasha had shifted to her back, and Mason was completely on top of her, then you noticed the slightly older child had found residence in your spot, so you gently shifted her slumped form over to crawl into the bed.

"Fuck... We're never almost divorcing again." You quietly groaned at the feel of the tempur-pedic mattress beneath your aching back.

"Please, can we not? The couch really sucks..." Natasha whispers back, and you peep open one eye to see her staring at you while her hand soothing runs down Mason's spine.

Both of you share a bittersweet chuckle, locked eyes conveying all the rest of the unspoken words, and though there's still a lot of work to do, you're more than content knowing that your Natasha's the one laying beside you.

——(Bonus)

"I go with mama!" Mason shrieks as you hold his wiggling form while waiting in the insanely long line for Dumbo, Lily stood beside you with a 'not this ride' face, and you feel rather giddy at the thought of having tricked her into thinking that 'Its A Small World' is the best ride yet, and that's what's up next.

"Yes, you will go with mama!" Natasha beams, with a proud smile when she looks to you, lightly pecking your lips while seamlessly passing the churro over to your hand in exchange for the toddler.

"Thank you honey." You cheer, followed by a moan as the flavors melt onto your tongue, and after only two bites in peace you reluctantly give all present parties a bite, to then losing the treat all together as Mason bats his eyes at you.

"You're welcome." She giggles, then your group is suddenly ushered into the fast pass lane when Natasha's recognized by a worker.

"Perks of being a superhero." You muse with a wink thrown her way as you lift Lily up and into the elephant.

After the initial jolt into the air you admit that flying through the sky is nice, your heart also soaring at the sight of your reluctant daughters subtle quirked lips, desperately trying to hide her satisfaction with the ride, and also at the way your wife and son are happily flying in front of you. Natasha's smile never once falls as he happily dances in the seat beside her, finger nonstop pointing out all the magical sights that Disneyland has to offer.

"Mommy..."

"Yes Lil?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too angel." You coo, placing a kiss to her forehead as the ride settles, along with all the residual tension this year had to bring.

Meeting your wife at the exit with a tired six year old on your hip you find she has the much more energetic three year old sat upon hers, naturally the both of you link your free hands and set off in search of your next big adventure.

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10,135 Words — Jesus this was definitely a lot.

Sorry if it hurts more than you expected, happy for you if it didn't hurt at all, either way enjoy.

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