#black widow x reader angst

[nats-firefly]

favorite crime

natasha romanoff x reader

summary: she wanted to sign the accords, you didn’t, and you didn’t see another way out

warnings: angst, some swearing

a/n: i know i originally said no pt 2 but i'm reconsidering (the reason i'm reposting is because i had an idea for a pt 2)

🚩 warnings are clearly stated please do not report/flag :) 🚩

words: 1.5k | feedback is always welcome | masterlist

divider source | gif source

“For the record, this is what making things worse looks like,” She gripped your arm as you walked down the long hallway. “Try not to break anything while we fix this.”

She threw you a hard look and you turned your body to Steve, looking down and playing with the silver ring around your ring finger. Your heard the people around you exchanging remarks, but you couldn’t take your mind off the way Natasha looked at you.

You looked back down at the simple silver ring on your finger, thinking back to when Natasha gave it to you. 

“It’s more discreet, so people know you’re taken even when you’re working.” 

You thought it was adorable and it gave you something to fidget with on long trips during missions, and it always brought you comfort when you were away. But now it just felt like a weight dragging your body down. Steve bumped your arm, making you look up at his sympathetic smile.

“She’ll come around,” He said. You bit the inside of your lip, turning your attention back down to your hands. You and Natasha hadn’t been able to have a conversation without fighting ever since the accords were brought up. You didn’t want to sign it, she did.

The accords weaved themselves into every conversation you tried having. And you ended up passive aggressively yelling at each other every time before one of you hurt the other’s feelings, the only civil conversation you’d had ended in you lying through your teeth.

“I’m not gonna make you sign it,” She chuckled, running her hands through your hair when you were lying in bed before going to sleep. “But if you don’t sign it, what are you gonna do?”

“I’ll retire,” You said, she scoffed and you looked up at her. You didn’t want to lie, but every other time they were brought up, the two of you ended up in a fight. As much as you didn’t want to. Part of you thinks it’s because you knew they were the start of the end. “What?”

“Really?” You turned on your stomach, leaning up on your elbows and looking at her face, your eyes moving over her lips, her delicate nose, then the arch of her eyebrow. She cupped your cheek, tilting her head and letting a soft smile appear on her face. 

“Nat, we’re getting married,” You twirled the diamond ring on your finger, something you had gotten used to doing ever since she put it on your finger. You finally looked into her eyes. “It’s probably time for one of us to start settling down.”

You were pulled from your thoughts as you started being ushered into a glass office, but before you reached the door, your arm was pulled back by Natasha who led you to a different office, one with more privacy and only one glass wall.

“I told you not to do this,” She said leaning both her hands on the table as you sat on the swivel chair across from her, resting your hands on the table and slouching on the chair. You avoided her eyes as you continued to spin the ring on your finger, you legs starting to bounce up and down. She sighed, trying to control her voice. “Not even a day after the accor-”

“You knew I was never gonna sign th-”

“This isn’t about signing the accords,” She interrupted you, her voice harsh and cold. “It’s about letting things cool down for a couple of days.”

“I wasn’t the one who bombed the conference,” You said, your tone mirroring hers as you sat up and looked her in the eyes.

“No, you were just the person helping him get away with it.”

“It wasn’t him,” You said as she sighed turning to the glass wall, making sure no one was paying attention. “And if you listened to me for one goddamn second, you would know that.”

“And if you hadn’t committed an international crime, maybe I would.”

“Look who’s talking,” You scoffed, looking back down at your hand, your attention returning to the ring on your finger. “As if you haven’t committed several crimes.”

“I never said I hadn’t,” Her fingers rubbed her temples as she pulled a chair up to the table across from you. “But I’ve changed since then, I know better now.”

“Really? It doesn’t seem like it,” You said, refusing to look away from her. Her eyes were locked onto yours. You felt the knot rise up in your throat, feeling your chest tighten with her harsh look on you.  

“Look what we became,” You mumbled out voice breaking and running your hands through your hair. Natasha took a deep breath, looking through the glass wall to see if anyone was looking and taking the time away from your eyes to wipe the tear that had escaped. You sat back, fumbling with the ring on your finger which made another wave of dread rip through you. You loved Natasha and it felt like your heart was being torn out of your chest by letting this get between the two of you.

“Is this what it’s gonna be from now on? Walking on eggshells all the time? And what happens if I do something, are you gonna arrest me?”

“No, I’m not gonna arrest you-” 

“Then what the hell is this?” You mumbled to yourself, but made her pause her sentence, giving you a sharp look. 

“Someone will. And this is an office, Y/N, it’s a hell of a lot better than a cell,” Her eyes were cold and her tone was harsh, it tightened the knot in your throat and you had to swallow hard to keep yourself from breaking apart in front of her. “And what if I’m not there to clean up the mess you make?”

“You’re the one that signed those accords-“

“You’re the one that said you were gonna retire.”

“Then I guess you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.” You raised your voice, trying to keep it from breaking. She fought back the tears threatening her composure, it broke your heart. She probably knew you better than you knew yourself.

She was silent as you returned to playing with the ring on your finger, refusing to look at her. Her eyes however, locked back onto on you.

“Where do we go from here?” Her voice was controlled, her eyes also trained on the way you started taking your engagement ring on and off as you were deep in thought.

“You tell me, Natasha,” You looked back up at her, her green eyes burning holes into your skin.

“I want you to sign the accords,” You rolled your eyes, leaning back onto the chair and looking at the wall.  “Please, for me.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “I know when SHIELD fell, you took a hit-”

“This isn’t about SHIELD.”

“But it is,” She sighed an exasperated sigh as you looked into her eyes.

“I don’t want to be someone you resent,” She said, your eyes making their way back to looking at her. “I already signed the accords, if you signed it, it would solve the problem.”

“You made that decision on your own Natasha,” You said, barely above your breath but loud enough for Natasha to hear. She stopped herself, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “It used to be different between us, it used to be ‘if you were going down, I’m going down with you,’ but now-”

“It’s still like that,” She said, but you suddenly stood off your chair.

“No it’s not,” You raised you voice again. “Ever since you decided to sign the accords, it turned into you against me. I’m not gonna stop, Nat, am I just gonna be a criminal to you now?”

She was silent, and when you blinked, tears escaped out of the corners of your eyes. “There’s only one way to solve this problem now.”

You didn’t want her to have to watch over you for the rest of your lives. You didn’t want to have to keep things from her, and you didn’t want her not to trust you. You were able to read her like the back of your hand just a few days ago and now she felt like a stranger.

“What are you saying?” She asked, hoping you didn’t mean what she thought you did. “Are you gonna sign the accords?”

Your lip quivered as you swallowed the knot in your throat and rolled the thin silver band across the table towards her. The rolling sound of metal on wood echoing around the room. Your vision blurred and you flinched when she slammed her hand onto the ring and dragged it off the table.

Her face hardened and her jaw squared. She walked out of the room as you fell back into your chair, looking up at the ceiling and trying to keep your tears at bay. 

Natasha clutched your ring as she made her way back to the main room, her eyes focusing on Bucky’s video feed, but the sound being drowned out by the ringing in her ears. Her arms crossed around her body as she attempted to keep herself from falling apart. But the look on your face as you refused to meet her eyes was frozen in her mind. 

[marvelseries19]

NATASHA ROMANOFF'S MASTERLIST

ONESHOTS

I SEE YOU

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Everyone saw Natasha as just one thing but not you, you saw her for who she really was.

Word count: 2k+

I'M ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE FOR YOU

Genre: Hurt/ Comfort/ Fluff

Summary: When Natasha is too stressed, all she needs is her wife.

Word count: 946

FOUND YOU AGAIN

Genre: Comfort

Summary: You lost Natasha a long time ago, what will you do when you find each other again?

Word count: 6.8k+

I WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU

Genre: Comfort/ Fluff

Summary: You found the perfect way to show Natasha just how much you loved her.

Word count: 1.2k+

YOUNG CRIMINAL

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Your wife has been lying to you for months and you finally confronted the girls she was lying for.

Word count: 845

SERIES

I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: You couldn't be happier with how your life turned up to be. You had a lovely wife, a teenage daughter, and a baby boy on the way. But, how did you get here exactly? and how is all working out? Well... this is how.

THE GREEN ARROW

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: Another archer on the team, just a lot darker. How would the new addition fit with the avengers?

THE CITY OF ANGELS

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: The devil walking the earth seemed like something out of a novel but, what would Natasha do if it was real?

[smalls-words]

Save the Cat

Summary: Natasha has to save you. She has to.

Pairing: LadyThor!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Feline!Reader

Warnings: Mind control, Dreykov, blood, Reader hurting Natasha physically and emotionally.

A/N: If you don't already know by the title and character type you are, this was taken from She-Ra's episode of the same title. Hope you enjoy Lady Natasha (Iron Maiden as I've called her in this).

*this is official Marvel comic art of "Natalia Romanova Earth-23223", credit to Marvel*

“Now for the last time - Where. Is. Y/N?” Natasha spat at Dreykov.

“Natasha?” Your weak voice echoed from somewhere.

“Kotenok?! Where are you?!” Worry laced her tone.

“Ah, yes. Your little kitten.” Dreykov chuckled, sitting back in his chair.

“She hoped you would come for her, the poor thing. So all I had to do was wait. As she would have said, you are so very predictable. Come here, child.” 

Natasha watched as two taller Widows led you through the main door, your head covered by a hood before you unveiled it. Your sclera were tinged green, a sign of Dreykov’s controlling poison, and your mane…

Your beautiful mane… it was cut short and firmly combed against your head. Your ears stuck upright, as they normally did, but there was no mane to compliment them now. You looked robotic, and even your voice was wrong.

“Hello, Natalia.” 

That name gave her shivers when it came from your tongue. It didn’t belong there; she was Natasha, Tasha, even Natty - anything but Natalia.

“What did you do to her?!” She growled, lunging towards the Widows to free you but they blocked her, dragging and holding her back as you knelt down in front of Dreykov and bowed.

“I have made her anew. I saw her mind, so ensnared in grief and rage and pain… and I brought her to the light. Isn't that right, little one?” He asked as he offered his hand, which you took, nuzzling his arm lovingly.

That was a gesture Natasha knew to be reserved for her. “Y/N, you have to fight it!” She begged you.

“My place is with the Red Room, Natalia. I don't want to leave.” You stated monotonously.

“Tell her what I've done for you, little one.” Dreykov stopped touching the chip in your neck and let you go, urging you to go to Natasha.

You walked over to her forced kneel, tears brimming her eyes as you leaned over her. “Dreykov has given me peace. Something you could never do.” 

You held her cheek, a gesture Natasha craved but she never had the thought to ask you for. “You broke my heart. But he has made it whole again. Don't you see? This is for the best. I'm happy here. You could be happy, too.”

Natasha glared at Dreykov over your shoulder. “Let. Her. Go.” She snarled, the tear falling down her cheek contrasting her emotion.

Dreykov walked over to you and let his hand fall to your neck, holding the scruff and rendering you motionless. “Shall we make a deal, Natasha? I will give her to you, if you want her, that is... But first, you must do something for me. You… will give me the hammer.”

“Never.” She declared, knowing how much power Dreykov could have if Mjolnir was under his control.

“Very well.” He pressed a button on the smart device of his chair's arm.

Natasha fell forwards as the comm device in her ear released a high pitch noise. She threw it down and Dreykov crushed it beneath his boot, a touch of her finger to the ear canal showing red blotches.

“You miscalculated. I see all. I know all. You thought yourself worthy to challenge me, just because of that stupid hammer! But you are nothing, save the last of the First Widows to fall at my hands. You have led your friends to destruction.”

Natasha lifted her eyes at the sound of your gasp, your sclera dimming back to their natural feline colour with your pupils looking down at her - before Dreykov took control again. 

She saw you.

“Go on, fulfill your purpose. Bring out the hammer, and strike me down.” He dared Natasha, who was almost at the point of sobbing.

“Alas… you two must have a lot of catching up to do. I will leave you to it. Let me know when you're ready to make a deal.” He patted your head and you purred softly.

Natasha’s heart cracked at that.

But when your claws extended, she knew what was going to happen. She dodged the first punch, weaving around you so as to not hurt you. A kick to the face was close, but she caught your ankle.

You simply extended your leg violently, bringing her to the ground. You threw a punch to her head but she rolled out of the way, kicking you up gently but firmly. You reacted quickly and grabbed her by the hair, ready to claw out her eyes but she cocked your elbow up and pushed you down by the shoulder, holding you in a painful position.

“Y/N, listen to me. I know you're still in there. I am not leaving without you.” Natasha sniffled, her heart and mind battling for you and her safety.

“It's gonna be okay, just let me help you-” She cut herself off as the bones in your arm twisted unnaturally, distracting her from the three claws below long enough for you to rip through her suit and make her groan out in pain.

You weaved around Natasha, wrapping your arms around her almost lovingly; one hand over her shoulder and the other against her waist, your tail curling around her leg as you nuzzled against her neck. “Everything is already okay. We are with Dreykov now. There is no need for you to suffer, Natalia. Come into the light with me.”

Natasha yelled as she grabbed the hood of your suit and threw you over her from behind herself, throwing you back towards Dreykov’s desk before the chip in your neck hit the edge of the table. 

Your dark laughter sent chills down her spine - she knew that laugh. 

You always used it when you trained against other young Widows - right before you killed your opponent.

“Snap out of it, Y/N! I don't want to hurt you…” Natasha pleaded desperately.

You finished laughing with a satisfied breath, your head cocking to the side. “But you have already hurt me. Dreykov has set me free of that pain. The pain that you caused.”

You stood, lifting your leg to lean against the desk. “He will set us all free… forever. A world of peace, without end.”

You used your strength to push off of the corner, giving you a serious height advantage over Natasha to throw a punch. You missed, and she hit you across the face, trying to recalibrate your mind like she did with Clint all those years ago.

You then landed one right against her cheekbone, almost breaking it, before you lunged with your claws. She gripped your wrists and matched your steps backwards as you walked towards her, but she shoved you with enough force to have you tipping towards the glass window that led to a near-fatal drop.

“Y/N!” She yelled in concern.

You noticed the lower glass windows and laughed wickedly, stepping back to the ledge before you let yourself go. Natasha lunged forward and grabbed you by the belt of your suit, pulling you into a tight hug that was a few steps back from the ledge.

She cried out in pain as your claws dug into her back, easily tearing through her serum-ised skin. 

“Oh, Natalia… How long will you drag this out? You will destroy the ones you love in the process.” Your voice came out distorted, almost like Dreykov was speaking through you, whispering in her ear.

You kneed Natasha in the stomach, winding her slightly whilst she groaned painfully. With her distracted by the pain of her body and her heart, you held her by the collar of her suit as she leaned over the ledge, hanging by your hand.

You and Dreykov sighed out of one mouth. “She was afraid, in the end. And she suffered. Perhaps I will make her my new vessel. Though, she would not last me long. What do you think… Natalia?” Dreykov’s voice disappeared upon her name.

In anger directed at Dreykov, she gripped onto your arm and pushed back with all her might, slamming you into the desk and subsequently, the screens behind it. Electricity sparked from them and connected to your chip, the jolting sensation causing you to laugh.

Natasha watched the green fade in your eyes again, revealing the fear beneath.

“I am not giving up on you, Y/N!” She yelled, determined.

“Then you're a fool. You cannot stop the Red Room. Dreykov will reign triumphant over all the universe. It is… destiny.” 

You cried out as the electricity from the breaking monitors electrocuted you. “No!” Natasha growled defensively, pulling you away from them. Soon enough, the screens exploded and Natasha dove in front of the desk, one hand cradling your head.

She saw the chip crackle with overloaded energy, your closed eyes fluttering open to see that through your fighting, her hair tie had been sliced and her beautiful red waterfalls of soft locks drifted down her shoulders.

Your breathing was ragged as you spoke. “Natasha… you should have stayed away. Why did you come back? We both know I don't matter!”

She cupped your cheek, frowning in light confusion. Didn't you know? “You matter to me!”

Tears welled in both of your eyes as you held her wrist softly, only for Dreykov to take back control. You gripped it tighter, using it to pull yourself up and slap Natasha across the face.

Your body moved towards the ledge but the chip was failing; your poison dosage was failing, and the jolts were signs of it. You faltered in your step as you regained brief control, standing no further than a metre from the ledge.

“Come on, Y/N. You’ve never listened to anyone in your entire life! Are you really going to start now?!” She scoffed, but her pleading tone never left.

You turned to face her, green flashing away. “You’re such an idiot.” You smiled softly.

“Yeah, I know.” She chuckled.

You hugged yourself tightly, Dreykov’s whispers fading in and out of your mind. Natasha took a small step towards you. “I’m going to take you home. You’re going to be safe, with me, like you always were.”

“P-Promise?” You stammered, two tears making tracks down your face.

“I promise!” She nodded frantically, holding her hand out to you.

“Tasha…” You reached for it, wanting to be back with her.

But electricity jolted at your neck and your wrist flexed up, away from her. Dreykov’s voice overpowered yours and you stood up straight, your neck cracking.

“Disappointing. Some creatures are destined only for destruction.” Your voices layered once more.

The chip self-destructed, sending thousands of volts through your neck and a blood-curdling shriek echoing into the halls and the entire facility. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

And you fell.

“NO!” Natasha yelled, but you smashed through the glass.

She didn’t hesitate to jump after you.

When she woke, she saw you lying limply on the cold ground a few metres away. Her head pounded, she was most definitely concussed, and when she tried to stand her deformed leg screamed in pain so she face-planted. 

Still, she crawled over to you, sitting up to assess the damage done to you. “Y/N?” She asked shakily.

Your chest was moving rapidly, short and sharp breaths making her lungs burn with more than just pain. “It’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” She pulled you in close to her, cradling your head against her shoulder whilst her other arm supported your back.

Footsteps surrounded her, but she simply cried into your shoulder. If this was to be your last moment on Earth, she would be here with you until the end.

“I am sorry for the needless waste, Natalia. It did not have to be like this.” Dreykov spoke through a Widow, clearly older than the others.

“Are you ready to cooperate?” 

Natasha’s breath shook as she held you. Should she? Should she really cooperate with this man? Would he kill everyone she loved until he would?

Her mind continued to spiral whilst her heart took control.

He would have nothing by the time she was done with him.

The bright cyan in her eyes caused the controlled Widows to step back, the Bifrost opening up for her. She stood easily, holding you in one arm whilst the other rose to the heavens. Piece by piece, the suit unravelled onto her arms as electricity crackled around her form. Her hair fell into two thick braids, her helmet falling over them and her eyes, whilst her boots finished forming under her heels.

Mjolnir’s handle fell into her grasp, forming back together with every broken chunk glowing with pure power. At almost six foot four, the red cape settled by her ankles as she looked down at you.

Your breathing wasn’t as ragged anymore.

She swept you onto her shoulder before she attacked the Widows, the cracked Mjolnir splitting out with her attacks to wind them or put them on the floor. An elbow to the face here, the butt of the hammer's handle there, before she blasted five of them with enough electricity to send one to their grave.

She stood over the only conscious one, her sclera a sickly green as Dreykov watched through.

“You miscalculated, Dreykov.” She hissed, electrifying the girl just enough to put her to sleep.

She adjusted you into a bridle hold and found the Quinjet in the southwest corner, with Yelena and Wanda waiting for you both as they held off as many Widows as possible.

“Bozhe moi. (My God.)” Yelena gasped after they were all down.

“The Iron Maiden. She’s back.” Wanda guffawed, but noticed your limp form in her arms.

“Keep her safe, keep her still.” Natasha ordered, the two moving inside.

She lifted her hammer to the darkening skies, lightning connecting to Mjolnir before she threw it down and blew up the facility from the inside out, pure vengeance coursing through her veins at the mere thought of what they had done to you controlled or not.

She turned to walk inside, watching Yelena struggle juggling you and the ship. "Beta-01: Yelena Belova! Natasha, your Quinjet is being dumb!"

“Alpha-01: Natalia Alianovna Romanova.” Natasha spoke out into the room.

“Administrator confirmed. Welcome, Natasha Romanoff.”

“Hey, FRIDAY. Get us home.” She smiled gently before a red tendril wrapped around her wrist.

Wanda and Yelena had tears in their eyes as they sat on either side of your still form. Natasha came to you and lifted you into her arms, being gentle as she adjusted you.

“Come on, kotenok. You’re not done, not yet.” She cooed, pressing her forehead against yours.

“Time to come home.”

Wanda and Yelena moved back as Natasha began to glow, her entire form consumed in the Bifrost colours that soon consumed you too. Natasha’s light began to brighten exponentially, causing Wanda and Yelena to cover their eyes.

Once it was gone, they saw Natasha sitting in her torn-up suit, still holding you close. 

A cough made Natasha’s happy tears form, your heterochromatic feline eyes making her smile.

“Hey, Natasha.” You grimaced, pressing your ear against her chest to make sure you weren’t seeing things.

She cried freely, as she had always done with you, before pulling you into a tight hug. You gasped slightly, but you wrapped your arms under and over her shoulders, nuzzling into her neck.

⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖ 

Nightmares plagued your mind, only this time, it wasn’t Wanda doing it. Flashes of being submerged in a big green tank, bubbling heat consuming you whilst Widows held your thrashing form down.

“NATASHA!” You roared yourself awake, a pool of sweat collected on the bed underneath you.

You shook and curled in on yourself, and when the door opened and light landed on you, you flinched and hissed at it.

“Hey hey hey, it’s just me.” Natasha cooed, coming towards you quickly which made you flinch again.

“Easy, kotenok. Shh shh shh…” She soothed you, slowly raising her hands to touch your cut hair.

An instinctive yowl came from you but you took a few deep breaths before you fell into Natasha. Childhood memories flooded back as she comforted you - brushing through your mane of hair, gently running her fingers up and down your back, pulling your tail to wrap around her.

“I’m right here.” She murmured softly in your ear.

You wrapped your arms around her tightly and she winced, instantly making you let go. “What… What did I do?” You gasped gravelly.

Though you were stiff, you pulled Natasha down onto the bed. She didn’t fight you; this was what you needed. She did, however, gently pull up the back of her shirt, showing you the scabbing wounds that were your claw marks.

You looked all over her body, not just at those. Several claw marks grazed across her thigh, there were a few by her shoulder blade. All of this pain, you’d given it to her. 

“I… I’m so sorry.” You slowly fell into a meltdown.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m sorry, Tasha. I-I-I couldn’t control it, he was too strong.”

Natasha turned herself over at the sound of your tear-filled words, your face screwed into absolute guilt and regret. She gently pulled you down next to her, pulling the bedsheets on top of you both as you continued to cry.

She lifted her hand to your head and gently began to run her fingers through the short strands, scratching a few times behind your ears. She knew you were calmer when your tail curled around her leg, but she did not stop comforting you once.

“It was not your fault, Y/N. Do you hear me? It wasn’t you. Dreykov hurt me, Dreykov made me bleed, not you.” She murmured.

She waited until your meltdown was reduced to sniffles, still never stopping her ministrations. She gently kissed your cheek, pulling you even closer into her body, her own eyes pricking with tears.

“Purr for me, kotenok.”

You shook your head as it was nuzzled against her neck. “I-I can’t.”

“You can. I know it’s scary, knowing that you did it for him, but he is gone now. He can never hurt you or make you hurt anyone ever again.” She promised you, sealing it with a gentle kiss to your temple.

“Please purr for me.”

You tried a few times but it didn’t come out. You huffed slightly at yourself, Natasha withholding her chuckle at your cute angry face, until it broke through.

You tried it again. It happened.

Natasha nuzzled into your neck after she adjusted you to lie slightly on top of her. Her hands fell to your side and your tail instantly moved to curl around it, letting her scratch it softly. You purred gently because your chest was still sore from your fight, but it was enough for Natasha.

“Thank you. How are you feeling now?” She asked you quietly, moving a small strand of hair out of your face.

You didn’t answer her question, nuzzling against her instead. Everything inside of you was raging like a thunderous cloud, but Natasha was slowly shining her warmth. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” She murmured, softly rubbing up and down your back; even drawing small circles and lines. “I’ve got you.”

.

.

A/N: This is was going to be a mini-series based on She-Ra but I couldn't be bothered and I knew it would take way too long. So, you guys got the best bit imo :)

[charg3rs0ck3t]

Loser

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Tw: angst, pure angst, Death, grief, this is literally the only angst I have where they have a good relationship the whole time.

———————————————————————

‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’

What a load of shit. The only thing absence gave you was a broken heart and unfixable trauma.

———————————————————————

To become an avenger you had to have nothing to lose. To lose was to be weak. You must have lost to know pain, to know suffering, to understand why they do what they do.

You knew pain, abandonment, death, suffering.

But above all else you knew power.

———————————————————————

The avengers found you, they stood before your small tattered form , adorning shining cloaks and sturdy facades. At first they were blinding, glistening rays of hope, laid stark among the dying embers of what was once your home, your haven and solitude.

But now it was all gone.

All because of you.

A shorter woman stood out most of all, not intentionally, mind you, but it was just in the way she held herself. Her eyes speaking of pains and truths, of real empathy and understanding. She smiled solemnly once she caught your gaze, and so did you.

Grasping her outstretched hand brought nothing but warmth to your soul. You were going to be safe. At least, as safe as someone who’s trying to save the world on a daily basis can be.

———————————————————————

Natasha was nothing but kind. She was a friend, she had her moments of sarcasm, of rebellion and disapproval, but she was never harmful.

Waking up every morning soon became exciting, because you knew you would get to see her.

Walking into the kitchen at the ass-crack of dawn was a sure place to catch a glance of her half rested slump.

“G’morning” she half-mumbled out, only just acknowledging your presence. She was your roommate, after everything had happened with Thanos and the snap, you decided it was best to stick together.

“Sup loser.” you teased, grinning, content in watching her groan into a fluffy pink blanket. She looked gorgeous in the morning sun, she was your second chance at life but damn if she didn’t look like heaven.

You hadn’t realise you had been staring until she cleared her throat and laughed. Embarrassed, you chuckled and moved to take the seat next to her. “Sleep well?” You idly chattered, she nodded.

You passed the time mostly with quips and melodramatic monologues, many of which were solemn nostalgia of your family, the avengers, of whom you both dearly missed.

Waking up to Natasha was a blessing, but you would give anything to wake up in avengers tower again, to hear loud hollers of some Asgardian tune, to smell burnt bacon and to hear crashes and yells of a fight yet resolved.

Thinking about it brought tears to your eyes, you’d hardly realised you’d began crying until you were knelt on the floor being cradled in warm arms. A distant cooing slowly lulling you from your thoughts.

“I know.”

It was all you needed, because it let you know this pain wasn’t yours alone. That you weren’t alone, that you never would be again, Because she promised.

———————————————————————

A ding from Natasha’s burner phone broke you both out of your mundane routine. You had only just sat down to eat lunch when it had rung through the otherwise silent apartment, But whatever it said had Natasha on her feet faster than you’d ever seen her move.

“There’s a chance!”

There it was, there was a chance you could get them back, and you both were going to do whatever it took.

The last battle had devastated you, all power useless to preventing what had happened, and so you had trained all this time. You made sure to be physically prepared this time, but with gain comes sacrifice, you had neglected training your emotions, but you knew you’d always have Natasha to get you through them.

———————————————————————

You all had hope, you all finally had hope. Tony had agreed to help and you knew, you knew that everyone would finally come back. Life would go back to how it was.

Natasha seemed distant, always in her head these days. She was before but this was different. She seemed to try to push you away and it was hurting you both.

She had walked past you with a cold distance in her eyes and honestly, you had had enough. So you trapped her wrist and turned her around.

“Alright loser, what’s up? I can’t keep seeing you like this and you can’t keep pushing me away. We need to talk! You need to talk! I haven’t heard you say a word in days, I miss you! I can’t watch you do this to yourself!”

Her mouth sat agape as she tried to stutter out some half-arsed excuse, but you were not having it. So you both stood there, glaring into each others eyes, one of you was going to break and it wasn’t going to be you.

Instead, she started crying, it was only a few tears at first but then her body began to shake and jolt. Knowingly, you caught her before she fell to the ground, holding her in your arms.

“I know..” you said.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you.” Her sobbing had died down and she nodded at your words.

“I just feel terrible,” she sniffles out. “I thought I should be happy, things are gonna go back to the way they are… but what if I don’t want that? It’s selfish.. but I like us! I like it just being us and that’s all I need!”

Holding her damp cheeks in your hands, you gazed into her eyes.

She was…

She was telling the truth.

You realised it as soon as she began to lean in, faces soon meeting in a salty kiss. Short, but passionate, it was the beginning of a wordless pact, that you’d always have each other.

———————————————————————

If you’re honest, you don’t know how either of you ended up on this drab planet. You were searching for a stone among a barren wasteland, but you were together and that’s what mattered.

Climbing the mountain, you both were silent, basking in each other’s presence to avoid the dreary reality of your surroundings.

Reaching the top, you both came to terms with how wretched the place was. You had no time to mourn, no time to say goodbyes. You knew natasha would try and sacrifice herself and you couldn’t let her.

So you threw yourself towards the edge, going into free fall for a moment before you felt her latch onto your wrist and swing you behind her back.

She tackled you to the floor, cradling your form.

“You can’t do this, you can’t leave me!” She yelled.

“Neither can you! I can’t do this without you!” You hollered back. Sobs wracked both of your bodies by this point.

You both sat, backs against a large stone, crying. One of you had to go.

She leaned in, something she’d done many times after the first kiss. But you knew this one wasn’t just in the passion of your love, this kiss was too much, she was trying to say goodbye.

But you realised too late, she had already trapped you where you sat and as you struggled she smiled solemnly.

“Natasha.. Natasha no! Please ‘Tash! Please if can’t be you! Please! Please don’t do this to me! I love you!” But to your pleas she simply shook her head.

“I love you too Золотце, don’t you ever forget that!” She yelled.

There you sat. Helpless, once again as everything you’ve come to love is crashing down around you.

You’re forced to watch as she throws herself over the edge, smiling at you with tears of her own brimming in her eyes.

With one last wave to you, she steps back and you scream.

———————————————————————

The next thing you remember was a cold bed and the smell of sterile air.

In your grief you had escaped your bound and tried to throw yourself down to be with your lover. But the magic wouldn’t let you die. Climbing the mountain time and time again, throwing yourself off just to be met with her mangled corpse and the reality of all of it.

You managed to get home, you don’t know how. You could barely walk, barely breathe. She was dead, she was dead and you were alive and everything was gone.

———————————————————————

Once the fight was over and everyone returned, nothing was normal, nothing was right. The lost got funerals, the living moved on. But you were stuck, stuck in that helpless moment where you could do nothing to save the love of your life, where you watched her last moments and did nothing. You didn’t fight hard enough, you didn’t yell enough, you didn’t love her enough. Nothing you did was enough, because she was dead and you were here.

She died so you could live, but she never realised how meaningless life would be without her.

A loser who would never know how much it meant to lose-her.

[abbyromanoff]

Request! Fem!reader x Natasha. Reader is hunting natasha as she is an assassin. Natasha (pre-shield) in her freelance days, captures Reader and tortures her using sex (not letting her cum etc) to see who is hunting her. They turn into “enemies with benefits” if u yk what I mean

NEVER KNOW

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader

WORD COUNT:

WARNINGS: smut, dark themes, kidnapping, mentions of killing, overstimulation, edging, orgasm denials, enemies to lovers typa feel, strap on usage, think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

“You can take one more-“

“No,”

“Yes, you can.” She demanded, and you had no choice but to listen and comply. Her cock teased your g-spot with every thrust and led your mouth to part in a loud moan. The harness around her hips brought a small brush of the clit, causing her pace to quicken in hopes of reaching a further state of arousal.

“P..please, I can’t t-take anymore.” You mumbled out quietly, teary eyes glancing towards the woman in hopes of mercy being shown. But you didn’t even know if you truly wanted mercy, you just wanted her.

She was meant to be your enemy, the one you’d capture and turn in for your boss's approval, but it didn’t end the way you expected. Instead, you laid on a slightly hardened bed, your back beginning to ache with every thrust - but she didn’t care, she enjoyed this.

“Fucking slut. You like this, hm? You like Daddy fucking this tight cunt?” Her hands tightened on your hips that were raised to meet her liking, it had been like this for what felt like hours.

You knew there was a slim chance of even spotting her, not to mention taking her in as a prisoner. She was a highly trained assassin, the best of the best, you had no chance of coming close. Fury practically set you up for failure, and now you were stuck as her slave.

“Fuck, I’m- I’m close, baby.” This was her third orgasm in the last twenty-two minutes, and you wondered how that was even possible. Either way, you accepted the shots of cum that she let seep into your womb. The strap was designed with tech to release artificial cum, but you began wondering if it was even fake. If she had gotten this, stating she has been waiting to use it on you, who knows if she adjusted the settings or not? It would be difficult to do so, yet she could do anything she set her mind to, she was just that good.

“Gonna be such a good girl for your Daddy, yeah? You wanna be a good slut for me?” You nodded, your breasts bouncing with each thrust. She slapped them, gripping onto your left mound and tweaking the sore nipple. You bit your lip, nearly crying from the sensation.

“Can’t wait for these to leak milk for me. Fuck, I just know you’ll taste so fucking good.” She pressed her hungry lips to the hard bud, moaning as she imagined the sweet liquid. This didn’t distract her, though. No, she continued to let her pelvis bone slap against yours painfully. The room was filled with the sound of cheeks clapping together and reeked of sweat and sex. It was like a taunt, as if the air wanted to show you how humiliating and disgusting you were.

“P-please, Nat, I need to cum…so- bad!” Your nails raked down her back, clawing at the skin as she hissed in pain. Blood began to drip, and she only hummed in delight.

“Soon, baby girl, Daddy gets to cum first.” She already had multiple times, but that didn’t stop her. She wanted to make you suffer, it brought her enjoyment.

“I can’t h-hold on-“

“Yes, you can.” She retorted in a rough manner. You couldn’t listen to her anymore, you needed to finish. It was becoming unbearable, you couldn’t control yourself.

“Did- did you just-“ Came her voice after a few moments. You debated on how to get away with it, but you knew the punishment would be worse. But you didn’t care, you needed this more than she could imagine.

“I- I’m sorry, Nat-“ A slap came to your face, causing your skin to start reddening.

“You don’t get to call me that. You’re such an ungrateful fucking whore, can’t even wait till I give permission.” You sniffled quietly, and she only groaned in response.

“I’m gonna fuck this pretty little pussy ‘till I’m satisfied, you got that? And then maybe I’ll consider letting you cum. But for now, you’re my bitch and you’re gonna fucking act like it.”

“Yes, Daddy..”

It would be a long night, and you wouldn’t change this for the world.

[blackkwidowed]

Imagine kissing Nats bruises and scars after a mission and just being soft and showing her so much love.

I just wanna give Nat a hug tbh

just the entire concept of nat finding it so hard to be vulnerable around anyone but you is both heartbreaking yet the softest most adorable shit ever. here's a little drabble. some darker themes here as well i guess. also, best friend bucky? you got a taste of that here as well. also haven't proofread so sorry

•

When the few team mates arrive back off a mission, there's a dark, almost sad, atmosphere among them. Natasha, Bucky, and Clint had gone together for a few days to track something down. They'd come back early, empty handed, bruised, beaten down and overall, unsuccessful.

Natasha had looked the most upset. She hadn't been crying or anything, she just looked glum. She looked like she'd seen something no one wants to see.

Immediately you say your hellos to everyone, glad that they made it back safely and in once piece- albeit a few bruises and minor injuries. Something had happened out there.

You pull Natasha into your arms and there's something about the way she relaxes and sinks against you that makes your concern skyrocket. Fingers running through her hair, you cup the base of her skull in your hand and bring the other to her cheek for her to look at you. "What happened, my love?"

She sighs, the kind of sigh that speaks for itself.

"We found a group of kids. They'd all been locked up by these asshole guys we were trying to find. They'd been brainwashed. Beaten. Taken from their families and forced into whatever the hell kind of project that's been lined up for them."

You flinch, closing your eyes and repeating Natasha's sigh from before. You understand now.

"Got jumped by some security who've had training from God knows where. Good enough to get some hits in, put it that way." She cranes her neck a little, moves her hair out the way, enough to show the budding purple mark under her ear that's making it way across her jaw. "Powerful bunch, these guys. We're gonna need some more planning before we go back in there."

You nod in agreement, tracing your finger gently across the mark and pressing a soft, barely there kiss to the skin.

"Are you okay?" It comes as a whisper, gentle and only just loud enough for her to hear it. "I mean, I know you're not okay as such just. What do you need?"

She smiles gently at you, pushing herself closer to you again and resting her nose in the crook of your neck. "This is good."

You press a kiss to the side of her head, looking up at the guys who're now sat at the breakfast bar of the kitchen, also looking on like they've seen a ghost. You can't help but feel sorry for whatever they've seen, it takes a lot to have them left feeling like this.

You send Nat to your room, telling her you'll be up there in a moment and to get changed out of her suit. Quickly, you make your way over to the boys and rest a hand on each of their shoulders. "You need anything you know where I am, alright?"

They thank you thoroughly, Bucky even slinging an arm around your waist and squeezing lightly as a thank you. "Take care of her, yeah? I think, maybe, she's reminded of everything she went through. It's hit her, this one. Just take care of her."

Bucky's smile is laced with pain, heartache. You don't see him like this often either. You nod at him. "Of course."

-

What you find in your room is enough to make you angry. Nat's got a fair few bruises, and it makes you want to track down the bastard(s) that managed to leave such a mark on her soul.

She's sat on the end of the bed, glancing over the hand shaped mark on her arm where she'd been grabbed and thrown just hours earlier. She's not even mad that she let her guard down. Normally she'd be upset with herself, but she can't think about it.

You perch at the head of the bed against the pillows, beckoning her over in a gentle tone. She settles into your side and curls an arm around you tightly, as if she's frightened you'll leave. It only makes you grip her tighter.

Peppering gentle kisses to the side of her face, she sighs in relief and sinks somehow deeper into you, nuzzling into your neck. You're warm, familiar, comforting, you're everything she needs in a time of need.

"Thank you," she whispers against your skin.

"For what, baby?"

"Being here when I need you."

You smile softly, raising a hand to her face and brushing your fingers across her cheek. You kiss her softly, slowly, so gentle she has to pull you even closer so you'll kiss her firmer. Your lips move against hers and it might just be the highlight of Natasha's day, feeling you like this.

"You don't ever have to thank me. You know that's what I'm here for." You continue stroking her cheek, down her neck, and back up. Touches like this are her favourite. It warms her heart when she remembers the bruise on the side of her face, and the fact that your touch is so gentle against her skin that the contact with the bruise doesn't bother her even a little bit. "I love you."

Natasha hums softly, moving to lay on top of you now. She kisses you again, whispering against your mouth. "I love you."

You hold her close, hands running across her hips, fingers trailing up her back. She lays on you, nuzzled in and as close as possible. You don't ever want either of you to move, this is where you're content. This is your happy place.

She's relaxed now, happier, and you know today's at the back of her mind still but for a moment, she can forget about it. She feels safe now, comforted. You're her happy place, her everything, her lifeline. To her, you make it worth it.

"Get some sleep for me okay?" You murmur into her hair.

You feel her nod against where she lays on your chest. "Only if i can stay here."

You give a soft laugh, rubbing a hand up her back and tangling into red hair. "Always."

[viixenvi]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

Summary: Natasha Romanoff is your bodyguard. Recently hired to be by your side everywhere you go. Your father, the president, deemed her the perfect bodyguard for you. Apparently, she's known for getting her job done and has never once had an incident. You make it your mission to be unbearable so she can back off and you can have fun. Until one day, you get too frustrated and Natasha can't help but be there for you.

Characters: Bodyguard!Natasha x First daughter!fem!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, nicknames (Милая=darling), cuddling, kissing, reader being overly sexual (in the beginning)

A/N: First daughter x bodyguard is something I've been wanting to write!! As always forgive me for any mistakes this was not proofread!

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐍𝐈

You sit on the counter of the kitchen. The white house has many places you love, but the kitchen might just be your favorite. You lick the spoon as you look at Natasha. She is standing across from you by the door. There are two other agents outside the room.

Natasha watches you intently, her eyes on your lips. She doesn't hide her hard stare. Natasha was professional, but you made it extra hard. You made it your mission to break her. You hoped if you did it then your father would lessen the security he had with you constantly.

"This is so good, you want some?" You pull the spoon out of your mouth and extend your hand toward Natasha. She just shakes her head and averts her gaze.

You sigh and jump off the counter, making sure she can see your boobs bounce when your feet hit the cold floor. Natasha follows behind you, keeping a slight distance.

All you can hear is her footsteps behind you as you walk toward your bedroom. There are two guards stationed across the hall either way. Natasha stops and takes her post in front of your bedroom. You giggle to yourself as You realize you have the perfect plan for her to crack.

When you get into your bedroom, you rush to the closet and pull off your shirt. Your pink bra and shorts are all you have on now. You reach to unclip your bra but purposefully pretend you can't reach it.

"Natasha!" You call out, she comes into the room with her hand at her belt where her gun is. When she sees you she immediately looks around to not look at your body.

"Yes, Y/n?" She questions. You turn and point to your bra clip.

"Can you help, I'm stuck," You whine slightly, hoping it's believable. Natasha walks to you slowly, you can feel her eyes burning into the skin on your back.

She had never seen you undressed before. Sure she's seen her fair share of your scandalous clothes, but never anything like this.

Her warm breath hits your neck as her fingers graze your back. You can feel a shiver go down your spine. She quickly unhooks your bra and turns around to give you privacy.

"Thanks, Natasha," You say in a whisper, you throw the bra to her feet and pull your shorts off slowly. You know she can see you through the mirror on her right.

Natasha takes a deep breath and tries to look away, but she can't stop from trying to see every inch of your skin. She was a professional, but you made it so damn hard for it to stay that way.

"If there is nothing else Y/n?" Natasha's voice is low. She goes to walk away but your hands on her arm make her stop.

"Help me pick out pajamas," you stop yourself from moving your hands any lower. You didn't really realize it, but at some point, this dumb mission stopped being pretend.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry if I'm out of line, but this is extremely unprofessional and I must say no to your request." Natasha's tone makes you step back.

"Oh. Sorry. You can go." You turn around and grab your robe off the couch. Natasha walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her. You stand in front of the mirror and look down at the bra sitting on the floor.

You didn't like the way you listened to her. Natasha had to go, it didn't matter what she felt. Right?

You sigh and walk to your bed, pulling the covers up and slipping under them. You open your laptop and put on a random video. You weren't even watching it, you just needed some background sound.

You pulled out your makeup, you had a person to do it but you had been practicing. Eyeliner was the one thing you couldn't get right. Your hands always shook and it was hard to get it right.

You held the liquid eyeliner pencil in your hand and got close to the mirror you used to do your eyebrows. The tip of the pencil was slightly dried out from all the times you used it. You press down and it messes up the line, making it chunky and messy. You wipe it off and keep trying.

After your sixth attempt, you finally get frustrated enough to throw the eyeliner pencil across the room. You let out a frustrated groan before you hear the door opening.

Natasha is standing at the door, looking down at the eyeliner and then back at you. You are crying a little from not being able to get it right and you know the eyeliner on your face is messy and streaking down your cheeks.

"Get out! Why do you never leave me the fuck alone?" You shout at Natasha. She doesn't deserve it but you need someone to get your frustrations out on.

Natasha raises her eyebrow and picks up the pencil off the floor. She shuts the door behind her and locks it, which you don't notice. You turn your head away from the direction she's coming from. You feel embarrassed she has to see you like this but that doesn't stop you from crying.

These tears weren't just from not being able to do eyeliner. You were frustrated because you realized that somewhere along the way, you caught feelings for Natasha. Everything you did may have just made her want to leave and that was not what you wanted anymore.

Natasha stands next to you, one hand reaching for your chin and moving your head to face her. You can't help but look up at her through your lashes. There is a smile on her face and she takes a seat on your vanity's stool.

You look at her face, she is stunningly beautiful and her red hair makes it better.

"What's wrong Милая?" she asks as she grabs a makeup wipe and holds your chin so you don't move. (darling)

"Nothing," you whisper while she wipes the eyeliner off. You feel her warm breaths again and you love it. Her hands are so soft and you hate the way you can't stop looking at her lips.

You had spent weeks trying to get her to quit and now you sat here wishing she'd never leave.

"It had to have been something, no?"

"I'm sorry." You look down, pulling away from her grasp on your chin. You can't let her touch you like this if you want her to stay.

"Sorry? about what?" Natasha looks at you, confused.

"I've been making your time here as bad as possible just so you could quit and Dad would let me have less security," you explain. Natasha smiles as if she finds it amusing.

"I know," is all she says as she gets up and starts to walk away. You get up and grab her wrist. She turns around and looks at you.

"What do you mean you knew? How di-" You are cut off by Natasha pushing her lips onto yours. You didn't move for a few seconds, afraid if you did then this would all be a dream.

Then her hands are on your waist, pulling you closer and you finally kiss her back. Her lips were as soft as you had thought and that same shiver went down your spine again.

Natasha pulls away first, letting you get air. You stand there frozen for a moment. Natasha had kissed you and you kissed her back.

"God, I've been waiting to do that since I got here," Natasha shrugs, chuckling a bit at your reaction. Her hands find their way to your waist again as she spins you and sits on the bed. She pulls you onto her lap and you feel your face start to go red.

"Natasha, what about your job?" You question, suddenly remembering that she works for your father.

"I don't care about my job, as long as I can finally have you." Natasha kisses your lips then your cheek and then your neck. You push her away playfully and she lays you on your bed. You close your laptop and Natasha climbs in rich next to you.

You yawn and look at the time on your alarm clock. It's way past the time you'd normally go to bed and Natasha knew that.

"Go to sleep Милая, I'll stay here till you do." She wraps her arms around you, the blanket over the both of you. You close your eyes and move your head closer to her chest. She smells so good and you inhale the scent as you relax in her arms.

"Goodnight Милая," Natasha whispers in your ear, her left hand running through your hair to make you sleep faster.

[spiderfunkz]

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where the avengers team thought it was a good idea to spend the holidays in your cabin by the woods. where they know you and nat won't get along well, but hey, it's not an avengers holiday without a bit of drama.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where she secretly gets jealous when steve holds you by the waist to help you balance while you put the star on top of the tree. where she'll 'accidentally' spill hot chocolate on your shirt so you can borrow one of hers, because apparently 'hers fit you the best'.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where you find her up late at night drinking half of your bottle of wine. where she'll complain that she couldn't sleep because it was 'too cold'. where you'll eventually join her to the point you're both drunk and laughing, where you actually start to get along for once.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where all of that wine makes natasha drunkenly confess to you. and since you have been drinking the wine too you didn't process it correctly. but as everyone says, drunk words are just sober thoughts. thoughts that both you and nat have been hiding.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where nat wakes up in your bed with you sleeping beside her, her head dizzy from last nights wine. she must've complained too much about her room being too cold to the point you suggest sleeping in your bed together.

where you wake up with nat staring at you confused, rubbing her head. "what are you doing in my bed?" you groan, rubbing your eyes as you try to remember what led to this. "you snore loudly." she replies, causing you to roll your eyes. "get out of my bed. you have your own room here." you stare, natasha smirks teasingly before getting out of your bed.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where a small saying leads into a heated argument. too heated the point nat pins you near one of the door frames that leads to a hallway. where you'll send her a flirty remark before looking up to see she's under a mistletoe you strategically hung.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where she'll look up to see the mistletoe, one of her hands still pinning you against the door frame. "are you scared of a little fake plant?" you'll challenge her, "no." the tension between you and her growing. "well then do it." you smirk, "do what?" — "kiss me." and so she did, which left you speechless and blushing.

"do you want me to do that again? this mistletoe isn't going anywhere."

requested by @patriphagy ! (my reqs for nat r open btw)

[nataliasquote]

Midas Touch | n romanoff

Summary: no amount of money will ever save a broken marriage or a broken woman. But maybe the right person can turn everything she touches into gold and this time won’t be cursed to break everything she cares about.

Warnings: affair, cheating wife, forbidden love, small mention of physical abuse (a slap)

Pairings: maid!Natasha x wife!reader

wc: 7.1k 😬

Note: another AU? Why are we even surprised. But this idea fully goes to @katyaromanoffpetrova who does just fuel my need to write every AU possible. If you thought cowgirl Nat was hot… oh just you wait. Also the end got angsty, but you should learn to expect that with me now..

-⧗-

Being up before the sun wasn’t anything Natasha wasn’t used to. Even before she got this job, mornings were her favourite. The way the world looked when it was kissed by the watery sun that rose above the rooftops hours before anyone was awake to see it was one of life’s hidden gems.

And one of the many perks of being a live-in maid to one of the richest men in the America was the views from every window in the staggering mansion. The west side of the house overlooked the bustling city below, which was beautiful at night. But Natasha’s favourite was the east wing that revealed rolling countryside and the perfect place to watch the sunrise over the distant hills.

Her maid duties never started this early, but she didn’t mind being awake. It gave her a sense of peace before the mania of the day began. She wasn’t the only maid in the Barnes residence, but her task was slightly different than everyone else’s. She was Y/n Barnes’ maid and that in itself came with a whole host of other challenges.

Seven am was when her ‘day’ started, for the lady of the house was not an early riser. She usually wouldn’t be seen out of bed until at least nine, but on the days James left for work early, she would always see him off from the front door. And wherever Y/n was, Natasha was never far behind, lurking in the background with her hands clasped in front.

Y/n’s laugh was the first thing Natasha heard of her boss, before she was even seen. Her voice oozed wealth and that laugh practically dripped honey and diamonds as it echoed through the high ceilings of the stairwell. With her arm draped over her husband’s bicep, Y/n lingered on the last step, teasingly trying to tower over James’ muscular frame as he shrugged his suit jacket on.

He muttered something in her ear and Natasha watched as Y/n’s neutral expression suddenly switched to a cunning smile and her fingers fumbled with the small tie holding her feathered robe closed. The front fell open, revealing her nightwear beneath it and it was not hard to see the way James’ eyes fell to his wife’s cleavage for a couple of seconds.

These small moments cemented why they were the nation’s favourite couple, and also why Vogue was so insistent on featuring them on the cover. They were still so lovesick yet utterly perfect in a way that didn’t happen by chance. This level of perfection was almost nauseating.

Y/n stepped down off the bottom stair and looked up at James through her lashes, playing the innocent game despite being anything but.

“Goodbye, my love. Try not to murder anyone today,” she husked in her husband’s ear, draping her arms around his neck with a lazy smile. James’ hand fell to the small of her back and he pulled her into him, kissing her lips hastily.

“No promises. Be good.” Y/n was on her tip toes but hardly felt the coolness of the stone floor on her bare feet. She leaned her face into Bucky’s palm that had risen up to cup her cheek. Soft fingers straightened out the lapels of his pristine suit jacket almost habitually.

“No promises,” she mimicked with a smirk, her eyes sparkling playful up at her husband who was transfixed by her sultry gaze. She was truly a siren, luring him in with a simple glance and a smile. Her power didn’t come from her social status; it came from her. The kind that couldn’t be earned or bought, no matter how much money you had.

With another lingering kiss, James pulled away and reached for the drawer of car keys and selected from the collection of sports cars most could only fantasise about. His dark grey McLaren Senna was today’s pick and he tossed the key in his palm like it wasn’t part of a car costing close to a million dollars. His wealth really was astonishing.

Y/n watched him disappear out of the heavy iron front doors and pulled her robe tighter around her body, concealing the simple navy blue silk slip dress that hung delicately from her shoulders. Her robe matched in colour, of course, and the feathers adorning the trim and cuffs swayed as she wandered into the vast kitchen.

She was the typical rich housewife, but it didn’t look tacky on her. She suited this life. Her wrists, neck and fingers might as well have been crafted to be decked out in priceless jewels, her body to wear only the finest garments. Even just the way she moved oozed grace and elegance subconsciously. A sight for sore eyes.

“Natasha,” she called, knowing the redhead was only a few steps behind her. “I’d like my breakfast on the balcony today please.”

“Yes ma’am,” Natasha replied with a small nod of her head.

“Oh, and don’t bother bringing any of that apricot jam you brought yesterday. I only want strawberry, darling. Only strawberry.” She swept back out of the room in a flash of blue and Natasha scurried down to the kitchen to inform the chef.

Now, if it was anyone else, that pet name probably would have sent them reeling. But Y/n was extremely fond of using those names, so it was basically second nature to Natasha.

The breakfast tray was laden with food and beverages as Natasha brought it out onto the balcony. Y/n was relaxing in a chair, still in her nightwear and robe as she scowled over the newspaper in her hand.

“You know, I do find these world affairs awfully boring.” Y/n didn’t bother looking up from her newspaper as Natasha appeared with the tray. She frowned at the column she was reading before folding it away on the table. “I don’t suppose you read that kind of thing anyway.”

Natasha carefully set the coffee pot down on the table. “I try to keep up with what’s going on in the world. But not as often as I’d like.”

“Do you read the paper?”

“No, Ma’am.”

Y/n hummed. “You can have this one if you want. I don’t care for it and James only complains about the headlines. You’d make much better use of it, honey.”

“Thank you, Ma’am. I really appreciate it.”

“Natasha stop,” Y/n held her hand up, making Natasha freeze mid pour. “I’ve told you to call me Y/n. All this ‘ma’am is making me feel old!” Y/n sighed dramatically, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. “I’m not even thirty yet, don’t make me age faster.”

“I’m sorry, Ma-,” she faltered but caught herself quickly, “Y/n, it’s a force of habit.” It wasn’t so much of a habit than it just felt weird to say. This first name basis insinuated they were friends, not two people on drastically different pay grades.

“Well, luckily for you, habits were made to be broken.” There was a heavy intonation in her words, laced with hidden meaning but Natasha just busied herself with setting up the breakfast platter. Various fruits and pastries were laid out, despite Y/n always just picking at a few berries and a croissant. Natasha hung back near the french doors, admiring the scenery so she didn’t watch her boss as she ate.

Y/n slid her sunglasses back onto her nose and stood up to lean over the balcony, the gentle breeze blowing her open robe softly. “Did that package arrive yet? The one from the lingerie company?”

“Yes, it’s in your dressing room.”

“Perfect,” Y/n hummed, her eyes sparkling behind tinted lenses. “I’m going to go try it all on, I think. When you’ve taken the tray, join me, will you?”

Natasha faltered, trying not to look at the outline of her boss’s figure through the thin material of her robe. But with the sun shining through it, it was proving difficult to keep her eyes off the curve of her hips.

“Me?”

“Yes you, Natasha,” Y/n confirmed, smiling to herself. “Who else would I be talking to?”

“My apologises ma’am, I’ll take this right away.”

Y/n didn’t bother correcting Natasha that time, too busy gazing at the rolling landscape beneath her. She found comfort in nature, the way the breeze brushed over her skin and the sun kissed her cheeks making her melt slightly. It differed vastly from the heavy touch of James’ hands, ones she played through a heavy facade to enjoy.

Y/n’s dressing room was that of dreams, just like the rest of her house. But she barely noticed it anymore. Her gaze settled on a white box on the central dresser, smiling to herself. She enjoyed the luxuries of life, and that included lingerie too. She told everyone it was for James, but really it was for her.

She just wanted to feel good for herself.

But those damn feathered sleeves kept getting in the way, so she shrugged her robe off and let it pool on the floor around her feet. She barely noticed the cooler air on her exposed limbs, too busy pulling off the lid and moving the tissue paper aside to reveal the soft coloured lace and mesh, all pastel colours for spring.

Natasha rushed back upstairs as gracefully as she could, passing through the master bedroom to the dressing room at the end. The door was ajar so she knocked three times, as usual, before pushing it open. Her breathing faltered involuntarily.

Was it normal to have that kind of reaction after seeing her boss in nothing but a mini slip dress? There was so much skin and Natasha took a second to gather her thoughts before she announced her presence, keeping her eyes firmly away from the woman in front of her.

“Natasha I want your opinions on these, come here.” The redhead obeyed and joined her side, eyes widening at the items before her. “What do you think?”

This kind of underwear was probably worth Natasha’s entire salary and she was apprehensive to touch it. Her hands stayed by her sides but she tried look objectively, even if she could barely tell the difference between the sets.

“I like that one the best,” she murmured, pointing slightly to a soft pastel blue set. Y/n smiled and plucked it from the box, holding it in front of her.

“Me too, you’ve got good taste.” Y/n slipped one strap of her nightdress from her shoulder and Natasha immediately turned around, almost squeaking at the lack of warning. “You didn’t have to do that, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Except it was. Because this wasn’t just any woman’s body, it was her mistress’s and there was no way she would ever be able to erase the images burned in her mind.

“I’ll just,” she started, trying to fill the silence by picking up the discarded robe and hanging it on a hook to her right. She caught Y/n fiddling with the bra clasp on her back, the hooks not quite fitting together.

“I hate new clasps,” Y/n exclaimed through gritted teeth, the hooks slipping once again. “Natasha, would you-?”

‘Don’t look don’t look don’t look’ was all that ran through Natasha’s mind as she carefully fastened the bra. She ignored the way her fingertips brushed Y/n’s skin, this wasn’t the first time. She was her maid, for gods sake. But Y/n was usually adamant that she could get dressed by herself, so Natasha rarely found herself around her mistress in just her underwear.

With a muttered thank you, Y/n wandered over to the mirror, adjusting the way her boobs sat in the cups before admiring the set. It was perfect for spring, the baby blue mesh and complimenting white and yellow flowers sitting flush against her tanned skin. The way the material hugged her body rivalled that of a custom made piece and Y/n hummed, content with what she saw in the mirror.

“It looks- beautiful,” Natasha faltered, keeping her composure as best she could. “James will love it.”

Y/n chuckled in the mirror, her hair shaking across her back as she laughed. “You really believe I care what he thinks?”

Natasha’s brows creased. Was that not why Y/n had those underwear sets in the first place? The redhead was empathetic but she didn’t have a significant other, there was no time for that. So her judgement was skewed, and it showed.

“I thought-“

“That’s cute.”

Natasha stuttered. “I’m sorry?”

“You,” Y/n locked eyes with her in the mirror. “You’re cute. James doesn’t care about this kind of stuff, it’s all for me, darling.” She adjusted the strap of her bra and didn’t miss the way Natasha’s eyes followed her fingers. “And now you, I suppose?”

“No, I wasn’t-“

Y/n swivelled round, hands on her hips. “I’m teasing you, darling, don’t worry that pretty little head of yours. Frown lines don’t look good on you.” She reached up and softly brushed her thumb between Natasha’s eyebrows, smoothing out the creases that had formed there. The redhead visibly freezed under her touch, the feeling lingering long after her fingers were removed.

“You’re a beautiful girl, Natasha. Who’s the lucky man in your life? Or lady?” Y/n’s eyes shifted, forgetting that she was still in her lingerie set. Natasha breathed out a laugh and darted her gaze to the floor, offering Y/n her robe again.

“I don’t have anyone,” she admitted, missing the look that crossed Y/n’s face. “I spend all my time here, I don’t need anyone.”

“Then I’m honoured to be the lucky lady. And lucky I am.” There was something so alluring about Natasha that Y/n had been hooked on since she laid eyes on her new maid a few months ago. Reserved at first, Natasha was exactly what Y/n needed after years of overbearing and intrusive maids. Natasha was a similar age and felt more like a friend than a maid.

With a confident air about her, Y/n tried on the rest of the lingerie, placing the ones she disliked back in the box with a sigh. Sticking with the blue theme, she slipped on a blue and white sundress, clasped a tennis bracelet around her wrist, slotted her sunglasses into her freshly combed hair and waltzed back onto the balcony. Natasha stayed behind, fumbling with the ribbon around the box before she handed it to the doorman who would organise the return.

The days when James was at work were usually slow and Natasha had some time for herself for a couple of hours whilst Y/n was occupied. Natasha took herself into the city in the late afternoon and ended up in the one store she had never set foot in before.

The lingerie store.

It was a privately owned boutique, of course it was, this neighbourhood didn’t do chain branches, and she quickly walked past the more provocative sets towards the tables at the back. A friendly store worker greeted her but Natasha just kept her head down, politely shaking it when asked if she wanted help.

She was out of her comfort zone, and painfully so, picking up a risky looking set before setting it down a little too quickly. A simple red lace bra caught her eye and she picked it up, only to glance at the price tag and lay it down gently. How could something like that cost so much? Natasha had seen heavier price tags than that of course, she spent her days around Y/n Barnes for god’s sake. But when shopping for herself, everything just seemed too expensive and far too lavish for a plain girl like her.

Natasha was anything but plain, yet she would never see it.

As she looked around the rest of the shop, her mind kept falling back to the red set. It was burned into her mind no matter how many other pieces she saw, and somehow Natasha found herself back at that table again, fingers fumbling over the delicate lace design.

She picked it up, a soft blushing rising to her cheeks at the thought of wearing something so… out there. But the phone in her pocket buzzed and she quickly grabbed it.

Mrs Barnes:

James has set up a date night. I need your help please :)

The red lace set was long forgotten, her mind shifting into work mode in an instant.

Just leaving now. I’ll be there.

When she returned, Natasha headed straight upstairs to find Y/n just leaving the bathroom. Her hair was still dripping and her skin damp, shining in the warm light of her dressing room.

Natasha got to work, drying and styling her hair almost on instinct, having done it so many times. Y/n thoroughly relaxed, adoring the way Natasha felt as she worked through her hair. She softly tugged her roots, but not enough to hurt. Just so it felt like a massage and her eyelids threatened to get heavy.

Date night outfits ranged from lavish to simple, and tonight was a simple night. A little black dress with a deceitful price tag was selected from the closet, a fan favourite of Y/n. She wriggled into the tight material, loving the way it hugged every part of her body as she pulled it up over her chest and slipped the thin straps over her shoulders.

“Where did you go today?” Y/n asked as Natasha zipped up the back of her dress, holding the fabric tight.

“Mostly just window shopping.”

At the mention of shopping, Y/n’s ears pricked up. She wasn’t just making conversation- she was invested. “Did you get anything nice?”

“Not really. Saw a couple of things but-“

“You know you can always take my card if you see something you like,” Y/n insisted, smoothing her hands down the front of her dress to straighten it out. “What store did you visit?”

“It wasn’t anything special.” Y/n shot her an unimpressed look over her shoulder. “I went to the lingerie boutique-“

“No you did not,” Y/n exclaimed, her jaw dropping in excitement as she turned around, clothes long forgotten. “And you didn’t get anything? Oh darling no, we are taking you back there tomorrow and getting you sorted out.”

Natasha moved over to the heels cupboard and selected a classic pair of black patent stilettos. She placed them in front of Y/n for her to slide her feet into, holding onto her hand for support.

“You’ve got that photoshoot tomorrow, so no, we won’t have time.”

Y/n paused, her dangling earring paused in mid air. “And you think they won’t reschedule if I ask them to?” Her brow raised in a ‘try me’ fashion.

“Y/n,” Natasha began to protest. “You don’t need to do that. It’s not like I need anything fancy like you anyway, it’s useless…” she trailed off, a pang in her chest triggering a wave of doubt to shudder down her body. “Vanity Faire won’t be too impressed if you cancel on them again.”

“If they want me, they’re going to have to work around it,” Y/n countered, silencing Natasha as she stalked over, slightly taller than the redhead thanks to her heels. “You are beautiful and you deserve to treat yourself like that. Everyone does, even James and he’s an asshole sometimes. So take this,” she reached into her bra and pulled out her black card, smirking at how Natasha’s brows shot up. “Take this and spoil yourself. I mean it, okay?”

“Thank you ma’am, I’m-“ Y/n almost plucked the card back out of her hand. “Y/n, thank you. You’re too kind to me.”

“Oh stop it, my ego is big enough already.”

The dressing room door flew open to reveal James, narrowed eyes as he stared at the proximity between the two women. Natasha took a couple of steps back but Y/n stayed put, clasping a bracelet around her wrist nonchalantly.

“Y/n, get out here,” he demanded, never one to speak any clearer than he had to. His wife rolled her eyes at Natasha but obeyed, sending her one final look over her shoulder before the door swung shut.

Now they were alone, James grabbed her wrist and shoved her against the wall, towering over her in the only way he knew how to display his power. The power he held over his wife, power that meant he could crush with a single fist if he wanted to.

“James,” Y/n grunted, wincing as his fingers dug into the tender flesh around her wrist. “What is wrong with you?”

“Flirting with the maids now, huh?” He growled, thick brows casting a shadow across his eyes menacingly. “I fire one, you move onto the next, is that how it is?”

“And what if I was?” Y/n baited, not flinching as his body trapped her between the wall and his torso. “Are you threatened? By that cute little thing in there?” She nodded her head in the direction of the dressing room where Natasha was before James gripped her jaw and pulled her face back to his.

“Don’t you dare.” But she did dare. She wasn’t sadistic, but the smile that curled the edge of her lips was downright crazy. But she knew how James was; they fought fire with fire, too stubborn to ever back down.

“Careful, James. Marks, remember?” His grip softened lightly. “Wouldn’t want the paps to spin a story now, would we?”

She saw how he wanted to retaliate, but also knew that she was right. He leaned closer before pulling away, huffing through his nose. “You’re so fucking lucky I love you,” he hissed before he let go of her jaw and allowed her to walk away. His job didn’t help his violent side but James had vowed since day one that he would never harm his wife. Y/n knew it too, and she pushed him to the very edge. Just daring him to.

“Weird way of showing it, but ok,” Y/n mumbled under her breath as she pushed the door closed and took a breath. Natasha averted her eyes, suddenly so busy with a hanger that had been placed backwards. Did she put it there on purpose? That’s not for anyone to know.

She’d seen the strained moments between the husband and wife but often kept her head down, not wanting to fall under James’ wrath. If she was invisible, it was better, but that was easier said than done with Natasha.

Y/n finished clasping her last few pieces of jewellery before accepting her fur shroud from Natasha. The redhead didn’t let on that she had heard every word said next door, but Y/n knew by the way she avoided eye contact that she had.

“You can have the night to yourself, darling,” Y/n winked, checking over her outfit in the mirror beside Natasha. “And you better buy yourself that set.” She gestured to the card in her maid’s pocket, insisting she used it. “I want proof that you did.”

“Thank you, really.”

Y/n blew an air kiss and disappeared to meet James, leaving Natasha once again alone. She felt the weight of the card in her pocket, seeming to grow heavier the more she thought about it. Y/n meant well, but could she really buy something like that with her mistress’ money?

Whilst Natasha debated with herself, Y/n had put on her ‘public’ face. The one that showed she was so madly in love with her husband, clinging onto his bicep as they moved from the car to the restaurant lobby. Paparazzi followed their every move, of course, and James’ bodyguard ushered the couple into the building as fast as he could.

Most celebrities hated the paps with a passion, but James loved them. He loved how much he manipulated them, and they snapped up pictures of the married couple like there was a drought. There was no doubt those pictures would be spattered across gossip sites by tomorrow morning, but that was only more free publicity for him. James Barnes never lost.

However, despite the perfect image they had carefully constructed, more often than not, date nights with James ended alone. He would excuse himself for a phone call just as the food arrived and Y/n could always see him in a private area of the balcony, phone pressed to his ear whilst his other hand pinched the bridge of his nose. Y/n picked at her food in silence, washing every mouthful down with a sip of wine. She ignored the stares and whispers and just played her role to perfection, often sending worried glances out to James.

Tonight she had struck up a harmless conversation with one of the waiters, a young man with a far too eager smile. But she tolerated him for company, politely laughing as he tried to crack an admittedly horrible joke. He was surprisingly good company for the thirty minutes her husband had disappeared for. Although it didn’t help with how sad her situation looked. Y/n was nothing if not flirty, it was in her nature. The way she crossed her legs and looked up through her lashes with a sultry stare had every man, and woman, hooked.

Her siren tendencies didn’t end with her husband, and the waiter hovering by her table was drinking up the attention. It was a big deal for him, one of the hottest women giving up her time to talk to him. He was far too young for her, but Y/n humoured his attempts at flirting, twisting her shoulders so he had a good view from where he was standing. There was a fine line between hot and just plain sleazy, but Y/n would never cross it. She was too good at toying with people.

After a while, James came storming back in, his eyes darkening not only from the outcome of his phone call but also after seeing his wife laughing over another man. His judgement was clouded by anger and he grabbed his jacket, not even bothering to take a bite of his now-cold food. Y/n jumped at his sudden movements but smiled sweetly, thanking the waiter who had stiffened.

“Let’s go,” James growled, throwing down a wad of cash as a tip before storming towards the elevator. Y/n took a moment to gather her things before scurrying after him, her red bottomed shoes clicking loudly against the pristine floor.

“Is everything ok?” She dared to ask once the doors had closed. James looked up briefly, eyed the security camera and clenched his jaw, the muscles in his neck shifting too.

“I work with imbeciles,” he grunted, his hand undoing the top button of his shirt in one fluid motion. “How was the food?”

“It was good,” Y/n stated, slightly wishing she could have finished her glass of wine.

“Good? I pay all this money and that’s the best you can do?” Bad phone calls always sent him into this mood, but Y/n had been with him long enough to know how to tame the tiger.

She stepped in front of him and ran her hands up the front of his sculpted chest, brushing over the muscle and up towards his shoulders. “It would have been better if you were there,” she spoke lowly, her hand sliding up to brush the stubble on his jaw.

James slid his hands around her waist possessively, pulling her flush against him. Anyone could walk in, the elevator wasn’t private, but they wouldn’t dare say anything to James Barnes. No one who confronted him ever walked away unharmed.

“Yeah? Even though you had your new little boy toy?” Oh he was jealous and Y/n had to tense every muscle in her body so she didn’t laugh. “I saw you.”

“You really think he had anything on you?” She asked sweetly, playing him just the way she knew. “I was just bored, baby, I missed you.”

“Damn right. I hope that fuckboy knows you’re mine, and mine only.”

“I’m yours, James, I’m yours.”

She was James’, so why did her mind drift to Natasha for a fleeting moment as she said it?

~~~

Y/n had dismissed Natasha for the night earlier than normal, letting her have the evening to herself before they went out. And she praised herself now, knowing James’ rage was just bottled up and sooner or later it would come out. She didn’t want her meek little redhead to have to see that.

And she was right. Whatever James had been feeling, he held it in until they were both nearly ready for bed. Y/n slid her rings off and placed them in the dish on her nightstand, each one clinking against the porcelain as she dropped it.

“What did you talk to him about?”

Y/n paused her movements for a second. “You’re still going on about that? I told you, it was just harmless conversation.”

“It didn’t look harmless, the way you were looking at him.”

Y/n was quite literally at the end of her tether with his accusations. “And how was that? How did I look at him?”

James rounded the bed, the single chain resting on his bare chest catching in the lamplight. “Like a slut.” His eye twitched, a sign he was pissed. “How do you think that looks for me? I step away for two seconds and my wife is whoring herself out to anyone she can find.”

“I find it laughable that you think you were away for two seconds,” she countered, stepping to the side to free herself from where he’d boxed her in. “May I remind you that I had finished my meal long before you even stepped foot back inside. He just came to talk to me and I engaged with the conversation, is that so bad?”

“Don’t use that tone with me,” James spat, his eyes following her figure as she paced around the room. “You shouldn’t-“

“Shouldn’t what? Shouldn’t talk? That’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it? A quiet little wife who only speaks when she’s spoken to and follows you around like a lost puppy.” James set his jaw, hands clenching by his sides. But Y/n carried on, spurred on by his accusations. “Well that’s not me James, and you know that!”

She paused and ran her fingers through her hair, exasperated. “How do you think it looks on you? You bring your wife out on a date but then can’t switch off from work for two minutes to actually enjoy your time with her! I’m saving your ass here, so be fucking grateful!”

That last sentence pushed him over the edge and James stormed over to her like a bull, backing her into a corner. “Grateful? Why should I be grateful? You’re a slut and-“

“Then treat me better and maybe I wouldn’t have to stray so far!”

James’ hand had connected with her cheek faster than either of them had time to process, his rings cutting into her skin painfully. They both froze. Y/n’s breath caught in her throat, the sting of the slap blooming across her cheekbone. James was breathing hard, his hand still raised from the recoil.

An apology would come… wouldn’t it? It had to, he didn’t mean that. Y/n couldn’t move, it was like the air had been sucked out of the room. Her stomach lurched, just urging James to say something. Anything.

A whole host of scenarios of how the next few moments might play out raced through Y/n’s mind, but she didn’t foresee her husband walking out without a word, a button up shirt in his hand.

She watched the door click shut before she sank to the floor, legs buckling beneath her. She didn’t want to cry, he wasn’t worth that, yet the tears still fell, dripping down into the carpet that pressed into her knees. It wasn’t from the pain, but from how stupid she felt.

Why was she still pretending? She played off everything he said to her, claiming it didn’t hurt when in reality it cut deep like a knife. Beneath her defences, she just wanted someone to care and not just because she was pretty. She wanted the slow mornings, the affection that wasn’t just for show. The ‘hey how was your day’ that wasn’t just one sided. But Y/n had sacrificed all of that the day she married James, naive enough to think he’d warm up over time.

The house felt eerily quiet and the blanket of night settled across every room. Ignoring how the clock chimed two, Y/n hauled herself up off the floor and trudged down to the kitchen, barely noticing the icy floor on her bare feet.

The freezer must hold ice packs or something similar, anything to stop bruising and swelling that always leads to questions. Y/n didn’t even bother to check if anyone was around before she pulled the door open and rummaged around, falling upon a bag of frozen peas. Not ideal, but it would do.

Except for the hum of appliances, the kitchen was silent and shadows appeared as the dim fridge light cast a small pool around her. No one was here at this hour, so Y/n dropped her guard and slumped her shoulders, leaning against the side of the fridge with exhaustion.

But she wasn’t alone.

A certain redhead had frozen in place, her spoonful of ice cream hovering somewhere between the pint and her mouth. Natasha was a midnight snacker and her feasts were usually undisturbed, but the sound of footsteps had her retreating into a corner.

It was only when she saw that familiar curtain of hair did she emerge, slowly, as if approaching a small animal, to not scare her off.

“Y/n?” Natasha emerged from the shadows, spoon still in her hand. Y/n did a double take but kept her face turned away, forcing her guard up in a split second.

But it was too slow for Natasha. She saw the vulnerability

“What are you doing down here?”

“I came to get a snack,” she replied with as much conviction as a toddler. Green eyes fell to the bag of peas… interesting snack choice.

“Why didn’t you call for me? I would have come myself.”

“It’s the middle of the night, Natasha.”

“Which is exactly my point, why aren’t you asleep-“

Y/n suddenly emerged from the corner and allowed the fridge light to hit her cheek. Natasha recoiled with a gasp, blinking quickly to wake her brain up. Was she hallucinating or was that what she thought it was? Y/n’s eyes were heavy and looked at the floor, too ashamed to watch Natasha’s reaction

“Did he…?”

The lack of response that followed was louder than a thousand words and Natasha felt her blood boil. She would happily be put away for battery if it meant she could get her hands on James, but she had more pressing matters to attend to.

Abandoning her spoon on the metal table with a clatter, Natasha hurried over and prised the bag of vegetables from Y/n’s hand. She wrapped them in a towel and gently pressed them to her cheek, muttering an apology as her mistress winced.

“What happened?”

Y/n chewed her lip, still avoiding eye contact. “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Natasha nodded. “Ok,” she replied, respecting her wishes. You couldn’t push with Y/n, she had to come to you. “Here, sit up on there.” She helped Y/n hop onto the counter and her body instantly relaxed.

A comfortable silence fell between them both, somehow not affected by Y/n’s reluctance to talk. They never needed words, that’s what Y/n liked about Natasha so much. She was a comforting presence, and Y/n felt so at home around her.

With their faces so close, Y/n felt her chest warming at things she’d never noticed before. There were flecks of brown in Natasha’s clear green eyes, almost mirroring the freckles that danced faintly across her nose. The frown lines she had wiped away earlier were back and Y/n fought the urge to brush them away again.

After ten minutes, Natasha set the ice pack down on the side and helped Y/n down, the stone now digging into her butt uncomfortably. “Just let it rest for a bit before you ice it again. You don’t want to damage the skin.”

Y/n nodded, her face already numb. Their proximity was close but neither made an attempt to move. Natasha couldn’t keep her eyes off how red her cheek looked and Y/n desperately needed something to shut up the voices in her head.

Her eyes dropped down to Natasha’s lips, wanting to cry with how soft they looked. How gentle they’d feel on her skin, a stark contrast to the rough lips she was used to feeling dragging across her collarbones and neck. Natasha was soft and Y/n felt herself craving it.

“No, Y/n no.” Lost in her head, she’d failed to notice Natasha catching on, almost reading her mind. And as much as the redhead would love to reciprocate, it was inappropriate and not just because of her job.

Y/n leaned forwards, eyes glossy. “Please, Natasha-“

“You’re hurting, I won’t-“ Natasha shook her head, taking Y/n’s trembling hand in her own. She could make a pretty educated guess as to what had happened and did not want to be a part of Y/n’s inevitable. She pushed her own feelings down, stuffing them in a box and cramming the lid on tight.

But Y/n never made her life easy. She gripped Natasha’s hand, pulling it into her. “Please?”

“No, we can’t, you know that. And you’re my boss, Y/n-“

“Nat, I- I want you. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

The redhead faltered, watching the way her mistress’s chest heaved. Her head screamed at her to stop; it was so wrong. She couldn’t avoid the way her cheek burned red in the dim light, a stark contrast to the rest of her pale face. Never had she seen this much vulnerability in the woman who was full of wit and confidence.

The strength she was so used to seeing had completely disappeared and Y/n peered at her with tears on her waterline, her facade crumbling away with every second that ticked by.

Those seconds felt like an eternity before Natasha slowly reached her hand up.

But it was too soon.

Y/n flinched away, a tear escaping as she let out a whimper. Natasha quickly retreated her hand and let the woman before her turn back, not wanting to push her in any way.

“You’re safe,” Natasha whispered. Y/n’s eyes searched hers, trying to find any sign of a lie. But she came up empty. With a trembling hand, she reached for Natasha’s palm and allowed it to cup her other cheek. The touch was soft, warm, and everything she wasn’t used to. Even on instinct, Y/n couldn’t help but lean into it, eyelids fluttering closed for a split second before she forced them open.

“I’ve got you.”

Y/n glanced at Natasha’s lips and back up to her eyes. She needed to feel that warmth, she needed to kiss lips that didn’t curse her all day long.

“Natasha…”

The redhead couldn’t stop herself anymore and let Y/n lean forwards, connecting their lips in the most gentle kiss. Y/n tasted the sweet dessert on her lips as they moved against each other slowly, the hand on her cheek moving around to the back of her neck to hold her in place.

“Did you have ice cream?” Y/n mumbled against her lips, goosebumps lighting up her skin at Natasha’s touch.

“Maybe.”

The kiss wasn’t anything frantic or passionate, it couldn’t be. It was so featherlight that their lips barely touched, but the way Natasha’s blood felt like it was on fire was enough to convince her that they did touch. She let Y/n lead, moving their lips in tandem and fiddling with the baby hairs at the nape of her neck.

Y/n pulled away, a soft smile on her slightly swollen lips setting Natasha’s heart a flutter. The ache in her cheek was hardly noticeable in that moment; she was too fixated on the redhead in front of her.

She leaned in again, chasing that high she wasn’t ready to come down from yet. But Natasha gently pushed her back, shaking her head softly.

“Y/n, we can’t. We shouldn’t be doing this, you know that.” Y/n’s coping mechanisms were unhealthy to say the least, and as much as it pained her, Natasha couldn’t support that. Clarity had hit her like a ton of bricks and guilt settled in the bottom of her stomach, leaving a nasty taste in her mouth.

What were they doing?

Natasha’s heart shattered as she watched Y/n retreat into herself, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth slightly. Her eyes were glossy but the tears refused to spill over. Every muscle in her body was rigid, almost as if she was scared that if she moved, the dam would break and everything would come flooding out. Y/n may be good at a lot of things, but emotional confrontation was not one of those things.

“I know, I’m sorry.” She lingered for a moment, just willing Natasha to speak, to take back her words. Maybe if she closed her eyes, those lips would be on hers again. Their Midas touch, concealing the ache in her heart for a few fleeting moments was all she wanted.

But when Natasha stayed silent, Y/n turned and left, leaving the makeshift ice pack abandoned on the side. She couldn’t stay and let herself fall apart anymore. Her heart had broken twice that night, but why did it hurt so much worse now? Why did Natasha, her maid, have a stronger grip on it than her husband?

[imaginedanvrs]

cancer's a bitch

masterlist

natasha romanoff x reader

2.3k words

warnings: reader has cancer and there's no happy ending. major character death

summary: at a time you need her the most, Natasha is nowhere to be found

“The results came back positive. I’m sorry. The next steps will be to start…” You couldn’t hear anything past that. It became white noise to the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears, an instant emphasis of your ebbing mortality. 

  You knew about all the treatments your doctor was trying to explain to you, you had been on a deep dive down the web about them every night since you first went seeking help about your suspicions. Now that they were confirmed, you wondered who you should tell first. How could you even begin to find the words to tell anyone that you had cancer? 

  That was all you could think about on the journey home. Natasha would be there and you weren’t sure whether to tell her outright or wait for the right time. You wouldn’t know how much of that you had until you knew how your body took to the treatment. Best case scenario, the chemo would nip it in the bud and never return. It would be a thing of the past before you could fully process it as a terrifying present. Worst case scenario… Well, it didn’t do to think about it. 

  You needed to talk to Natasha. 

  When you finally got home, your heart plummeted further at the sight of your girlfriend packing. You knew that the frantic nature she took to grabbing items meant that she had been called on a last minute mission and that it was probably urgent. You also knew that she could be gone for some time. It could be weeks - weeks you would spend relaying the difficult conversation in your head. Weeks you could spend without her there to comfort you in your crushing fear for your life. 

  “Hey, babe,” you greeted as you hung up your jacket. If her mind wasn’t so preoccupied with work she would have asked where you’d been. 

  “Hi. Sorry I know we had plans tomorrow but I’ve been called away,” Natasha told you without looking your way, too focused on filling her bag as quickly as possible. You sat down on the edge of your bed and watched the redhead for a moment, debating whether or not to ask her not to go. You had never done that before, nothing had been that important. 

  “You think you could skip? I need to talk to you,” you muttered, threading your fingers together to stop them trembling. 

  “I can’t skip a mission for a date, detka,” Natasha huffed. You swallowed. 

  “It’s not that,” you said with a forced chuckle. “I’ve just been to the-”

  “Y/n, I need to go,” she told you pointedly. 

  “There are other agents.” You didn’t mean it to sound like a plea, to sound like a child trying to convince their parents not to leave them on the first day of school. 

  “It’s important,” Natasha said, zipping up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “There are things going on that you don’t understand.” That hurt. 

  “Natasha please,” you tried, not caring how desperate you sounded. Still, she continued for the door. Maybe if she had looked at you properly instead of kissing your cheek in passing, she would have seen the worry written over your features in bold. “Please don’t go.” 

  “I love you, I’ll see you soon,” she called over her shoulder.

  “I love you too but I-” you were cut off by the apartment door closing in your face. “I’m not well,” you whispered. She was already gone. 

*

There were numerous people you could have called to pick you up from your first round of treatment. It was also highly recommended. You were exhausted, but taking a taxi home was the easiest solution, because it meant you didn’t have to tell anyone where you were.

  It had been a couple weeks since your diagnosis and Natasha still wasn’t home. You still weren’t sure how to approach the subject with anyone you knew, counting on your girlfriend to hold your hand through the process. But she wasn’t there by your side and she wasn’t there to take you home. 

  Wanda would have been a good person to tell. She was the kind of friend who would drop everything to be with you when you needed her. She would have picked you up. She would have pulled over to hug you when you began to cry silently in the back of the taxi. She would have figured out a way to call Natasha home but she couldn’t…because she was imprisoned. 

  The battle of Leipzig airport hit the news by storm, as did everything that followed. Half were imprisoned and the rest were either on the run or playing lap dogs to the government, leaving you alone. Upon hearing that your girlfriend was an outlaw, you were able to piece together that you wouldn’t be seeing her for a long time. Nor would you see your friends. You were deserted. 

  You collapsed over the toilet once you were home, bringing up the contents of your stomach as your weakened knees groaned in protest from the impact. They were already bad - your legs - having been the area the cancer was attacking, but every short track you made seemed to make the pain worse. So much so that you were tempted to let the exhaustion overtake you on that very bathroom floor. You just wanted to close your eyes in hopes of having a short break from your reality. 

  Instead, with a small whimper, you forced yourself up and towards the bedroom. The sheets didn’t smell like Natasha because you had had to wash them a few days prior. You had sprayed some of her perfume on her side of the bed but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t her. Still, you clung to her pillow as if it was, imagining her strong arms wrapping around your frame tenderly. She always protected you in your weakest moments, except that one. Except the worst. 

  Weeks turned into months and things became considerably harder. The pain was progressing with the cancer, working its way deep into your bones despite the aggressive treatment you had. At the start, a bad day was not being able to make it into work. After months, a bad day was not being able to get out of bed. The treatment wasn’t working. 

  “We need to operate,” your doctor told you. You peered at the frown lines along his forehead, wondering how many people he had given that news to before you. How many people had sat in the chair you were in, listening to the doctor tell them their body was failing to fight off a biological evil? Were their loved ones sitting in that office with them, occupying the empty seat next to you? Were they waiting outside? Were they a phone call away? You should call your parents. Nothing buried the hatchet like telling your parents you were dying, right? 

  You didn’t want them though, you wanted Natasha, wherever she may be. She could be dead. Perhaps if she was, you would be together sooner than it would take for her to come out of hiding to see you just once. You didn’t want that. You weren’t that selfish. You hoped she was okay, better than you at least. But you were selfish enough to wish she would come see you, just once. It would be dangerous, stupidly reckless. There were no doubt eyes on your home at all times, waiting for Natasha to come back for you. That was why she couldn’t come. Yet you still couldn’t help but think fuck the risk, please just come hold my hand. 

  That was all you could think as you were wheeled into surgery and when the mask was placed over your face. You didn’t wish for success or recovery. You wished for her. You were naive to even try. She wasn’t there when you woke up and even though you hadn’t expected her to be, it still hurt to see the visitor chair next to your bed empty. You weren’t desperate for company, if you were you would have called your parents. You had always prided yourself on handling things on your own, even the burdens you could share with others. So no, you didn’t want sympathy, cards, flowers or visitors. You didn’t even care that you still had to get a taxi home instead of having someone waiting for you in their car. You just wanted a text from your girlfriend, to know that she was still out there somewhere thinking of you - caring about you. 

  Even after a year, you refused to give up on the dream Natasha would some day come home. You still celebrated your anniversary. You celebrated her birthday. You placed a present under the small tree for her on Christmas, leaving it there even after you took the tree down. You left the first aid kit on the windowsill in the bathroom. You always made sure there was a fresh pb&j sandwich on the kitchen counter when you went to bed. Even when keeping the apartment clean and tidy became too difficult for you, you ensured that anything Natasha might need, should she come home, be out ready for her. 

  After two years, your doctor refused to continue your treatment. It was causing internal bleeds. It was stripping you of energy you didn’t have to start with. It made you sick. You were entering stage four, something that didn’t always mean you were approaching the end of the road. But in your case, you were. 

  Then, finally, you received a text. 

  Unknown number: new jersey, tmrw. I’ll send you an address once you land -n

  You blinked at your phone. You weren’t going to make it downstairs, never mind to the airport. There was a high chance Natasha had destroyed the phone as soon as she sent the message, but you had to at least try and find a way to say what you needed to. 

  Me: goodnight, see you in the morning :) 

  It was code, something you had come up with years ago. It was a text you had always dreaded receiving but had never pictured yourself sending. Why would you? Your girlfriend was the spy who’s life was always in danger in some sense, yet it was you preparing for what would come next. 

  You closed your eyes, content in the fact you had managed to say goodbye in some sense. It wasn’t the way you wanted, but it was better than nothing. 

  You awoke, two days later, to the sound of your window being opened. You opened your eyes but couldn’t raise your eyelids more than half way, adding to the poor visibility the night time provided. You only saw the figure when it moved, but you weren’t alarmed by the presence of something unknown no matter what it could mean. You hoped it meant you weren’t going to be alone when you went, no one deserved that. 

  “Y/n,” Natasha’s name pierced through the room. Your breath hitched in your throat but you were unable to answer. Your throat was sore and you hadn't had a drink in a long time. You didn’t have the strength to grab the glass on your bedside table. 

  Natasha turned the lamp and you really wished she didn’t. You didn’t know what you looked like, but the last time you saw your reflection you were greeted with someone you didn’t know. Would Natasha see it that way? Wonder where her girlfriend had gone? She had always been an expert on concealing her emotions, but her shock then was clear. Not just that, she was scared. You knew that feeling all too well. It had taken her place as the one constant in your life. 

  “What…are…” She was at a loss for words, you noted. She took a tentative step that allowed her to be close enough to see the tears brimming in her eyes. God, you always loved those emerald eyes. 

  Natasha brought the glass up to your lips and you managed two sips before turning your head away. “What do I do?” She asked, voice shaking. Your hand managed to find hers, linking them together with the intention of never letting go until you had taken your last breath. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, squeezing your hand. You managed a smile. “I love you so much.”

  “Love you.” There was so much more you wanted to say. How much you missed her, how you had waited for her to come home. You wanted to rush her out of the apartment under the fear she would be caught, but you also wanted to tell her that you had been hanging on for her, keeping the grim reaper outside your door until you were ready to take his hand. 

  “God I…” Natasha also had a lot she wanted to say. She wanted to tell you how not a single day went by where she didn’t want to come running home or at least send a text. How she regretted ever joining a battle that seemed so insignificant in comparison to you laying there. She wanted to tell you about her family and how much she had told them about you and that they had even promised to keep an eye on you as she continued on the run. She wanted to tell you that she was going to be at a loss without you, but seeing the exhaustion on your face, she didn’t want to keep you from your rest any longer. You had waited long enough for her. 

  “It’s okay. You can go now. I love you so much and I’ll never stop loving you. You’ve done so well and I’m so proud, you can go to sleep now.”

  Natasha didn’t want you to see her cry. It took all of her will power to hold it back until the final rise and fall of your chest. She bit back a sob, watching the light in your eyes finally dim so that they could take their place among the stars.

[scarlethexelove]

Please Don't Leave Me

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 4281

Warnings: Angst, Pregnant!Reader, Natasha being an ass, injuries, Depression, Wanda being the bestest of friends.

Part 2: Gone

A/n: Had this one in my head for some time and finally decided to write it. As it always seems these fics just seem to run wild and get longer than I mean them to be. I can tell you all right now I'm pretty sure your not going to like the ending very much 😅

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

“Natty.” You try to get your wife's attention as she moves around the room quickly. Natasha is shoving things in a bag. “Nat.” You try again, but she doesn’t stop. Frantically moving around the room grabbing whatever she can. “Natasha!” You finally yell at her. She still doesn’t stop her movements. “Y/n I can’t right now.” She says shoving the last of her things in her bag. “Nat I have something important to tell you.” You try to reason with the woman, but she just zips her bag throwing it over her shoulder and walks past you. “There are things you don’t understand. I have to go.” You grab her arm and she finally looks back at you. “I really need to tell you this.” You try to reason with her. Your eyes pleading with her just to let you talk. But she shakes her head and pulls her arm from your grasp. “There are more important things than you right now.” She makes it to the door letting it creak open. “We will talk when I get home.” She doesn’t face you, only slightly turning her head before she is gone. “Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” You see her hesitate in the door but she shakes her head before slamming the door shut behind her. 

Your heart shatters in your chest as your legs buckle beneath you. A muffled thud is heard as your knees hit the ground. Your hand covers your mouth as a sob escapes the depths of your chest. You pull the small stick from your back pocket looking down at the two pink lines. “I’m pregnant.” You whisper to yourself like somehow Nat will hear you and come back, but you know she won’t. To Natasha her job has always been more important than anything. She loves being an Avenger and helping people, but it always comes at a cost to you. You had a sliver of hope that maybe just maybe this could change that. After what she had gone through in the red room she was pretty sure that she couldn’t get you pregnant but here you are. The prospects of having a child had given you hope that maybe she would come back to you. Be the loving wife that you know she can be. The little pink lines now taunting you as tears splash down on the plastic blurring your vision and the once prominent lines. 

It seems like hours before you finally pick yourself up off the ground. Finally having cried all the tears away. Pulling yourself off the ground as you wipe your cheeks before making your way to your shared bedroom. It is empty, too empty. The book Nat was reading was still sitting face down open to the page that she had left it on. Moon light shining through the curtains illuminating the dark room. You don’t bother turning on the lights or changing clothes as you crawl into the cold bed. Seeming much larger now than ever before. You curl in on yourself, exhaustion from all the tears you have cried catching up to you. A pain in your chest as you finally drift off into nothingness. 

Over the next few days multiple new stations report of the Avengers fighting one another. The chaos and destruction of a German airport. You place a hand over your lower stomach as the news flashes. ‘Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow has broken the Sokovia Accords. Now wanted for treason against the federal government.’ If you thought your heart couldn’t break more you were wrong. 

It has been nearly four months since that fateful day. The day your world shattered around you. You had hoped that one day maybe Nat would try and contact you but those hopes had been dashed over a month ago. She had moved on and so should you. You slowly pack your things in the home that you once shared with your wife. You’re not even sure if you should call her that anymore. A single tear running down your cheek at the thought. You still love her deeply but you can’t live like this. You have a baby to think about now, you need to live for them. Placing your hand on your growing stomach as you gently rub your finger up and down feeling their movement and smiling. 

A phone ringing breaks you from the tender moment. You grab your phone looking down to see an unknown number calling you. Your heart stops a moment wondering if after all this time it is finally Nat calling you. You're so distracted by the tight feeling in your chest that the phone stops ringing and the call ends. You still stare blankly at the screen before it starts to ring again. Phone lighting up in your hand once again still showing unknown as the caller. 

This time you press the answer button. Your movements are slow as you bring it up to your ear. You open your mouth but no words come out, your breaths coming out erratic as you begin to panic. Your ear is soon filled with a soft voice. “Y/n/n?” That voice is distinct but not your wifes. “Y/n are you there?” The voice asks again. “W-Wanda?” Your voice trembles as your mind catches up. Your best friend is on the other side of the line. 

This is the first time you have heard from any of the Avengers for a long time. Tony once stopped by but you refuse to let him in. You didn’t listen to any of the words coming out of his mouth as he spoke through the door. If it wasn’t for him you don’t think you would be in this position right now and maybe your hopes for a better future with Nat would have come true. Wanda had sent a few letters letting you know she was ok. You couldn’t obviously send anything back due to now knowing where she was and the nature of the events and why she was also on the run. 

“Y/n/n?” Wanda’s voice breaks through your mind once again. “I-I’m sorry Wands. What were you saying?” Her words had been muffled by your mind. She shakes her head like you could possibly see her doing that. “Nothing sweetheart. Are you ok?” She can tell that something isn’t right. “Not really. I, I’m alone.” Wanda’s heart breaks for you. She may be on the run but she hasn’t been alone. “I’m tired, Wands.” You know you shouldn’t be thinking that with a child on the way but it has been hard. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you sniffle into the phone. 

Wanda made a decision right there. “Sweetheart, I'm going to send Vision to come and get you.” She knows it could be dangerous to have you with her but she also knows that you’re not a wanted fugitive so if for some reason that she is caught you will be left alone. But she will do everything in her power to keep you safe. She can’t stand to hear you this hurt and down. “W-what if that gives away where you are?” You question not wanting to bring her into any danger. “I’m safe here. If you want to, you can come here. We have to move every so often. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’m not going to leave you alone. You always have me.” You cry tears of happiness for the first time in a long time. “Yes.” Your voice is small but hopeful. 

You land with Vision somewhere in what you believe to be Belgium. Vision never mentioned anything to you about your pregnancy which you are thankful for. You see Wanda bound out of the small quaint house on the outskirts of the town. You watch as she stops in her tracks a few feet away from you. Your head dropping, not wanting to see her reaction. Scared that she wouldn’t want you around any more. 

“Y/n/n.” Wanda says quietly trying to get you to raise your gaze to hers but you don’t look up. Tears well in your eyes, scared to move, scared to look your best friend in the eye. Hands cup your face gently making you look up into green eyes. A soft smile on her face. “You're pregnant.” It’s not a question but a statement from the woman. You nod your head as she pulls you into her arms hugging you as tightly as she can without hurting you or the baby. 

Just then the flood gates break. A sob leaves you as tears cascade down your cheeks into Wanda’s shirt. You bury your head in her neck. A hand rubbing gently up and down your back as you're held for the first time in months. Your legs give out as you clutch to Wanda for dear life afraid that you're going to wake up and she will be gone. Wanda holds on gently guiding you both to the ground as she lets you cry. Your tears soak her shirt as you sob for what feels like forever. Wanda whispers reassurances in your ear as she just holds you. Her gentle motions on your back, not ceasing. 

Wanda lets you get out your pent up emotions. Sitting with you until your sobs turn into sniffles. “She left me. I never got to tell her.” You whisper, still gripping onto Wanda. “What sweetheart?” She asks, trying to get you to elaborate. “Natasha. I-I haven’t heard from her. She, she left that day to Germany. I tried to tell her. She, she told me that there were more important things than myself.” Wanda’s eyes swirl red with anger. How could Natasha do this to you? All she wants to do is fly off and break Natasha like she broke you. But Wanda comes back to reality when you grip her tighter, scared she will leave you just like Nat did. 

“Please don’t leave me.” If it was even possible Wanda’s heart broke for you more. Like herself you don’t have any family. All of yours were gone long ago, but you had found a family in the Avengers, a wife. But that family is now broken but Wanda is determined to show you that she is still your family. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I will always be here for you.” She kisses your head smiling. “And for the baby.” More tears come to your eyes but from happiness. 

“So you and Vision?” You give a watery chuckle. Wanda nudges your shoulder and laughs. “Yeah.” She smiles happily when you pull back to look at her. “So like does he come with a vibrator setting?” You ask half joking half serious. “Oh my god Y/n!” Wanda exclaims, shocked by your bold question. You two laugh as she helps you off the ground leading you into the house. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to mention something to Nat?” Wanda asks you softly, causing you to look up from the book your head is buried in. You let out a sigh as this constant conversation. “If she wanted to know how I was doing she could have called me the same way you did.” You rub your swollen stomach. So close to meeting your precious little one. “Wands I know you are looking out for me and I also know how pissed you are at her. I also know that you partly want to tell her to rub it in her face on how royally she screwed up. She has had almost 9 months to find me. And I know that you said she has mentioned that she has done it for my own safety but at least hearing from her once would have been something. Instead she went no contact. The famous Black Widow knows how to send encrypted messages if she really wanted to.” 

Wanda knows how much you are right and every time she has to touch base with the team she has been distant and cold with Nat. She so badly wants to break her heart the way she has to you. She knows how much you still love Nat and would love to be a family. These times are hard though with everyone on the run so she bites her tongue and nods her head to your words. 

To get your mind off of things you put your book down and swing your feet off the bed. “Hey Wands, it's a nice night, maybe we can all take a walk.” Vision appears in the doorway. “That sounds like a lovely idea Y/n.” You smile at the synthezoid before giving a questioning look to Wanda. “Sure.” She nods her head. “But someone is going to have to help me with my shoes.” You chuckle trying to reach down to your feet which you can’t reach. The other two laugh before all of you put on some clothes and help you with yours. 

Wanda and Vision are holding hands as you walk through the streets of Edinburgh, the quiet street clearing your mind as you three walk peacefully. Vision stops Wanda to talk a bit as you waddle over to a window with a news cast playing. You watch on as a breaking news cast flashes on the screen. As the scene plays out in front of you you gasp. “Wanda.” You call for her. The conversation dies between the two as they come up behind you seeing as the screen plays footage of New York being attacked. You all stand there silently as death and destruction is shown on the screen. Tony Stark missing flashes on the screen and Vision looks to Wanda. 

“I have to go.” Vision says kissing Wanda’s hand that is still laced with his. He starts to walk away dropping her hand, Wanda pleads with him to stay. You start to drown them out as you watch the screen. Terrified that you may see something about Natasha come across it. Screams of pain makes you turn around seeing Vision impaled on a staff. “Vision!” Wanda screams, her hands glowing red ready to fight. 

Someone else blasts Wanda from behind sending her flying into a building across the street. With you close proximity you're thrown back hard. Trying to brace yourself you hear a sickening crack as your wrist impacts with the ground. You scream out in pain. “Y/n!” Vision yells when he hears your cry of pain. You turn on the ground seeing him do the same. The two who attacked turned him over on his back and the thing that stabbed him placed the sharp end of the staff on his head.

Vision’s screams can be heard through the quiet streets. You struggle trying to get yourself up knowing your wrist is broken, cradling it close to your chest. You watch as red balls of energy slam into the two creatures throwing them back. Wanda runs towards Vision using her magic and pulling you safely over to him. Pain is written all over her face as she looks over the both of you. She uses her magic to lift all of you off the ground pulling you closer to her as she tries to fly you all away from the area. You all are almost hit by a beam causing Wanda to have to bring you all down. Wanda lands you both down gently laying you on the ground before turning to catch Vision with her magic. 

“The blade, it stopped me from phasing.” Vision says as you see a bright yellow line in his body and he seems to be glitching. “Is that even possible?” Wanda asks, helping him sit up against the wall. “It’s not supposed to be.” He says, you can tell he is in pain. Your adrenaline is pumping so your wrist is just a dull ache at the moment. Wanda hovers her hand over Vision, her magic flowing and pulling the opening closed slowly but not completely. “I’m beginning to think we should have stayed inside.” You mumble feeling guilty that this could have been avoided if not for you avoiding your feelings about Nat. 

You and Wanda are pushed back by Vision as one of the creatures grabs Vision flying off and fighting against a building. The other comes and attacks you and Wanda. Wanda puts a barrier of magic around you. She starts to fight the female creature as your heart races in your chest. 

You lose sight of the both of them fighting. Wanda’s magic dissipates from around you allowing you to move forward looking for your friends. You can hear it now so clearly in your head like she actually is yelling at you. Natasha’s voice tells you to run and protect yourself, but Wanda is your best friend and she has been there for you. So you push that voice away following the commotion. You run into the train station seeing Vision propped against a railing. Wanda stands red surrounding her hands as the two creatures look ready to fight once again. 

Squealing of wheels from the train moving past has you all looking. A dark figure in the shadows looms behind the moving train. The female creature throws her trident-like spear at the figure when the train passes. The figure catching it perfectly as he walks into the light you see Steve Rogers. You try to get up behind the female creature but she quickly turns wrapping her hand around your throat. 

“Y/n!” Wanda screams. The female creature throws you back and you land on your back crying out in pain. You feel a gush of liquid between your legs after you hit the ground. Wings fly in front of you as Sam Wilson collides with the creature. You let your hand drift down feeling the wetness and bring your fingers back up into view, relieved that it isn’t blood, but your heart drops when you realize what is happening. You gasp in pain from the sharp feeling in your stomach. 

Wanda uses her magic again to pull you towards her and Vision. Wanda pulls you into her lap. That is when you spot her in the distance. The hair color may be different but she is still herself. Natasha fights with Steve against the creatures. You have tears in your eyes as you look up at Wanda. “Wands, I think my water just broke.” You groan in pain again. You can see the panic in her eyes as she looks around the area. It’s not long before the fighting is done and the other three walk over towards you three. 

Natasha stops dead in her tracks when she sees you. Your swollen stomach has her chest rising and falling a bit fast. She thinks maybe it could be someone else's but she knows deep down that the baby is hers. She wants to cry but she turns stone cold hiding her emotions. Hating herself for leaving you, for never reaching out in all this time. You cry out in pain causing her to look back to you. You're curled in on yourself in Wanda’s lap. “It hurts.” You whimper.  Wanda holds you closer to her. “I know sweetheart.” Wanda looks to the other three. “We need to get them out of here.” She can see the two men side eyeing her before Steve speaks up. “Quickly, get them to the Quinjet.” 

Natasha moves to help you but you pull away. “I have her, can you help Vision?” Wanda says flatly, Nat can only nod moving away and helping Vision up. Wanda effortlessly lifts you in her arms and you all make your way to the Quinjet. Your contractions are getting strong and closer together. Natasha can only watch from afar as you whimper in pain. Wanda helps you and Vision sits close holding his side. 

“We need to get her to a hospital.” Wanda says brushing the hair sticking to your forehead out of the way. “We will be at the compound in 30 minutes.” Steve explains. “Steve, I don't know if she can last that long.” She iterates looking back down at your pained face. “It’s the best I can do Wanda.” She sighs gently stroking your cheek. “It’s ok Wands. I’ll be o-” Your cut off by another contraction. All Nat can do is look on with regret. 

Once the quinjet finally lands Wanda lifts you in her arms again and runs into the compound they enter and see Rhodey talking to a hologram of Secretary Ross. “We need medical.” Natasha says out, causing Rhodey to turn and for Secretary Ross to start arguing. You can’t concentrate on what they are saying but you know it isn’t great. Rhodey ends the call and signals for medical, who come in with Bruce. 

As they wheel you away the team follows. Before Wanda can head in after you Nat grabs her arm. Wanda whips her head around anger evident on her face. “Please just tell me. Is it mine?” Wanda gives an amused chuckle. “Of course it’s yours.” She pulls her arm from Nat’s grasp and follows you in the room. Nat lets tears slip down her face. She left you alone pregnant with her child. Not once contacting you in the last nine months. She had told herself she was doing it to protect you and to keep you out of this life, but she was wrong and she sees that now. She understands now why Wanda became so cold towards her after a few months. She has to fix this. She has to be able to win you back and to become the family she always wanted and she will do anything to get that back. 

Natasha can hear your cries of pain as you go through labor wishing more than anything she could be there with you but you don’t want her to be. But you chose Wanda and she understands why. She soon hears other cries. The crying of her child as they are born. Tears slip down her cheeks as she hears them. The boys know not to go around her or to talk to her at this moment. She is breaking on the inside and all she has to blame is herself. 

An hour later Wanda walks out and comes over to Nat. Her head is down, not looking at the younger woman waiting for a scolding, but that doesn’t come. “You can go meet your son.” Wanda speaks with no emotion to her voice. Natasha looks up and Wanda can see she has been crying but that doesn’t change how angry Wanda is at her. “I have a son?” Nat whispers. Wanda just nods her head and moves out of the way. 

Natasha slips into the room quietly. Her heart stops seeing you laying in the bed with a blue bundle in your arms and a smile on your face. More tears spill as she quietly makes her way over to you. You don’t look at her until she is standing right next to you. “He’s beautiful.” Nat mumbles trying to stop the sob that so desperately wants to escape. You have a soft look on your face and she can’t read it. “Meet Alexander Pietro Romanoff.” You smile down at your son. Natasha lets the tears freely fall. “Romanoff?” She questions you. “Romanoff.” You repeat looking back up at her with a soft smile. She feels a flicker of hope that she can fix this, that she can have her family.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask her softly and lightly lift him the best you can with your broken wrist. Nat nods and takes him from you holding him in her arms. She has so much love for him already that more tears well in her eyes. You watch her as she holds the baby and cries. 

“I’m sorry.” Nat whispers. “I'm so sorry.” She looks at you with teary eyes. “I know.” Is all you can respond with. She looks back down at the now sleeping boy. Just looking at him and remembering all of his features. She had seen the flicker of green in his eyes, the same as hers. But he looks so much like you. He is just as beautiful as you are. 

Loud beeping makes Nat’s head snap up. Your face is now pale and your eyes are closed. The sheets are staining red between your legs. Doctors rush in as she backs away holding her son close to her chest. He starts to cry with all the noise and commotion. Her heart rate picks up and she starts to panic. The voices of the doctors are muffled to her ears as she feels the blood rushing around. She can only focus on you, your face pale and your body limp in the bed as doctors work around you. They soon wheel you out of the room mentioning something about you hemorrhaging and needing to go to surgery. 

Nat starts sobbing in the empty room. All that is left is herself and her son. She slides down the wall begging to whatever is out there in the universe that you will be ok. That you will come back to her and your son. Promising that she will do better and be better. She will be the wife that she had promised in her vows. She will do anything for you to take her back, just please let you live. She whispers in the emptiness. “Please don’t leave me.”

[natsglorifiedsimp]

Something Changed 2

A/N: You guys asked for it.

Taglist: @queen2234 @pipsipey17 @casquinhaa @natashajumpinoff @natsxwife @dark-hunter16 @i-lovescarlettjohansson @mrsrushman @tropicals-things @alianovnasposts @nova-kyle @jusnough @splzq @yellowthingsstuff

Part 1

Tasha's POV

"Hey, Maria!" Natasha called.

Natasha noticed the subtle eye rolling of Maria. She squinted her eyes. It was unusual for Maria to act like that especially cause she's been helping her get to date you.

"What do you want Natasha?" she grumbled.

Natasha was taken aback by this. "Jeez, I'm just asking about Y/n." another eye-roll was given to Natasha. "Have you seen her? I haven't seen her on campus."

"Glad you noticed, Natasha" she sarcastically said. Maria feigned a thinking posture and started to glare at Natasha, "Let's see hmm" Maria said with diction.

"How about the fact that you've been ignoring her since you and Wanda dated and now she's gone off to Los Angeles leaving us behind because of you!" Maria gritted her teeth trying to contain her anger because you were in the hallway where students were passing around thinking Natasha and Maria were doing a secret drug deal.

"W-what?" Natasha stuttered. "I-I haven't ignored her."

"Save me the drama, Natasha. All you think about is yourself." Maria said.

Natasha was so confused. She didn't know what she did to you. She hurriedly texted you, hoping you'd give her some explanation but all was left delivered. That's not usually you. You always reply as soon as you see the message pop.

Natasha back reads you guys' conversation. Seeing if there were any clues on when are you going to LA or something that would hint at anything.

But all she saw was how she neglected you. She could see in every message how much you needed her. She missed your rants, your rambles, and everything that you guys would do when you hang out.

She broke her promise.

Y/n's POV

LA was different. The school was fine so far. No one dumped milk on your hair yet. No one made fun of you yet. And you were hoping it would stay that way.

The new environment was hard for you. It is hard to start a conversation with people when you don't know who they are. Natasha always does the talking. But somehow in this world, you are the one who needs to adjust.

Even if the people were friendly, throwing a smile at you or saying hi, somehow you still felt timid and awkward. You were scared to make friends.

Cause you know they will leave again.

Natasha did. What could any of these peer's differences be?

You cried every night knowing you had no one cared. That even if you consider them your best friends they will never think of you the same way. You were an option. You are a pawn to someone's real agenda.

You cried because you knew how much you cherished friendships. You knew to yourself that you would care and love people and go out of your way just to be there for them.

But somehow with you, it was always the opposite.

You are left alone, and when you thought someone cared...

She never really was.

Natasha's POV

She tried calling you a million times, even called your parents just to have a chance to talk to you. To apologize. But you were too far gone.

She may have found the love of her life but she left you. She left you feeling like she didn't care. She disregarded your feelings and put herself first. She took advantage of you.

Natasha regretted everything that she did. Everything that she broke. She knew how much you value friendships and she also knew how to break it.

There were no more Y/n. The laughter you shared is now a glimpse of memories that she wished would last forever. Love may have come her way but she didn't have to run you over just to find it.

You were her person.

But i guess...

Loving involves losing right?

[munariplans]

the arrangement, part 2 | natasha romanoff

synopsis: part 2 to the arrangement // the happy ending for those who love natasha as much as i do :)

natasha romanoff x reader

word count: 4.1k words

a/n: let me know your thoughts, and i hope this warms your heart that there are happy endings in this world too!

masterlist

a month after yelena’s wedding, natasha approached you for a talk that turned your life upside down. she explained that when you left after the slow dance and bucky found someone new to play with, a woman had approached her, and asked her to dance. one thing led to another, and she was now asking for your permission to stop whatever arrangement the both of you were having, because she had wanted to make the woman her girlfriend. 

you scoffed internally, almost. asking for permission, natasha had always been too considerate for your feelings. even when she was pursuing someone else, she had wanted to make sure that you were fine with it. 

and how could you not be? you were the one who rejected her advances, kept a safe distance, respected her rules, after all. you were the one who let her go, first. 

so you swallowed the rising bile and resentment in your throat then, gripping the rails of the emergency staircase she had chosen to speak to you in harder, until your knuckles turned white, and nodded convincingly. 

“of course,” you had said, as nonchalantly as you could. don’t make this weird. don’t make this harder for yourself than it should be. “of course, we should stop.”

“oh, thank you,” natasha said in relief, before instinctively pulling you close to kiss your cheek. it was only when her lips landed against your skin that she froze, and immediately pulled away, “i…should probably stop that now, too.” 

you smiled sadly. “yeah, you should.”

she cleared her throat. you hugged her goodbye to save her the awkwardness. then, just before she shut the door to the emergency exit, you called, “natasha?”

she left the door open, head turning back to you, almost as if giving you a second chance. almost as if letting you say what you truly wanted to say, to fight for her instead of letting her go just like that. but you could only say, “i hope she treats you well, and i hope you’re happy.” 

“i hope so too.”

– 

you first met natasha’s girlfriend at a cafe, two weeks after the staircase incident. you had returned from a run with a friend, the very same friend that you had told about your not settling down, the very same friend that you then told how much you regretted those words, a day after yelena’s wedding. 

both of you waited for your coffees by the counter, but when a voice called out your name, you could instantly recognise it even from a mile away. 

your friend tried to hide his snicker as you made eye contact with natasha, who was just leaving, with a woman behind holding her hand. then you saw the reason why he did. she looked just like you. 

you tried to hide your shock as natasha came in for a side hug, you awkwardly patting her back. “hi.”

your eyes drifted to the woman behind, and you offered her your hand, “you must be…”

“...emily,” she told you. you realised natasha hadn’t even told you her name, “and you must be natasha’s best friend.”

“oh, i wouldn’t–”

“–she speaks very highly of you, so, i know.”

you snuck a look to natasha, who shrugged unconvincingly. she looked rather uncomfortable, even though she had been the one to approach you first. she must have known you would notice, and you were sparing her the embarrassment of asking why her girlfriend looked just like you. 

instead, you muttered a thanks to the redhead, and turned your attention back to her girlfriend, “well, i’m just glad she hasn’t chosen to speak about all the embarrassing things i do, as well.”

she chuckled, and natasha smiled back at her. you tried to hide your hurt from the gesture, turning back to the barista who had prepared your drinks. it was your cue to leave first. 

“it was nice meeting you, emily,” you said, then looking at natasha again, “and i’ll see you around, natasha.”

she noticed you stopped calling her natty.

–

yelena invited the both of you over for lunch at her new place one day, and when you asked if natasha would be bringing her new girlfriend, yelena was kind enough to tell you she was, allowing you to mentally prepare yourself. 

“please never forget that this is all your fault,” the blonde said, shutting the oven door as she peeked over your shoulder. you were helping her prepare said lunch, arriving an hour earlier to cook the pasta that she and natasha both loved. “you fumbled my sister. i tried to help you.”

you stopped stirring the sauce for a minute, before admitting, “i am happy for her.”

“no, you’re not,” yelena quipped, and you almost threw your spatula at her, “but you try to be. because that’s the kind of person you are. and while natasha may find that terribly endearing, i find it incredibly stupid and frustrating.”

“...not anymore.” you said under your breath, but yelena caught it. 

“what was that?”

“not anymore,” you clarified, “she doesn’t find it endearing anymore.”

“like i said, your faulttt!” she trailed off, walking to retrieve more ingredients from her garden.  

but then, natasha arrived without her girlfriend, almost two hours late. you knew natasha couldn’t stand being late. 

yelena asked her about it before you did. you thanked your lucky stars the woman had such a busybody for a sister. 

the tension in her shoulders, and the slight furrow in her eyebrows gave away the lies she was saying, when all she could come up with was, “she was busy. had a last-minute thing.”

you chose to look away when she made eye contact with you, returning your attention to the other guests. 

–

but when the lunch stretched into the evening and the other guests had begun to leave, you noticed natasha’s sadness hadn’t dissipated, and it was only left with you, her, and yelena in the house. 

you wanted to make sure she was fine, as you accompanied her outside on the porch when she promptly got up to get “fresh air”. 

“what’s bothering you?” you kept a safe distance, leaning against the side of the front door as natasha sat on the wooden bench.

she let out a soft smile. “there’s no hiding from you, huh?”

“i’m your best friend,” you replied. she nodded, defeated.

“i was just…a little annoyed that i waited for her to pick me up for nearly two hours, but she never came. i mean, it was fine if she couldn’t give me the lift, but i would’ve appreciated her telling me earlier, rather than cancelling and leaving me stranded at the last minute. and i wanted her to meet you, and yelena, properly, too. too bad she had a work commitment.”

you unfolded your arms, moving to sit beside her then. she looked like she needed the company. but natasha was strong, and she wasn’t so ready to show herself so vulnerable so soon. “but it’s stupid, it’s just a small thing. i’m okay now, and i really liked your pasta earlier.”

“i cooked extra and packed them into leftover containers for you. there should be enough to last a few more meals.” you replied. natasha’s smile looked genuine for the first time that day, upon hearing your words. 

you brought her in to rest her head on your shoulder. she sighed at the comfort of your perfume. it was one she missed inhaling dearly. rubbing her back then, you told her, “next time, if you need a lift, anytime, anywhere, just call me. i’ll come pick you up, no matter what.”

she never had to doubt or second-guess your words. you kept your promises. 

– 

natasha’s girlfriend showed up during the friendly bowling night that steve organised, you noticed, as the pair arrived an hour later than even tony, which was a feat.

“sorry,” emily was the one who apologised, although she looked anything but apologetic, face hiding a proud grin, “we got busy in the car.”

you were the only one in the group who didn't participate in the raucous boo’s and eww’s, instead turning your attention to counting the number of balls the team needed for the game. natasha looked almost embarrassed at the confession. she never was one to enjoy making her affairs public with others. 

–

halfway through the night, in the lane next to yours, natasha hit a strike for the first time in her life. you knew, as you caught her jumping excitedly mid-air and pointing towards the knocked down pins to her girlfriend. however, in response, the woman only gave her a half-hearted thumbs-up and returned to scrolling on her phone. she didn’t seem to acknowledge her girlfriend’s achievement at all. 

you turned an annoyed look at her, before your eyes found natasha, and she smiled at you, shrugging sadly. you immediately went over and congratulated her. 

“that was incredible,” you said excitedly, giving natasha high five. 

she didn’t look convinced. “yeah, i think i got lucky.”

“even so, you looked so cool,” you reassured her, “i definitely was jealous.”

she let out a small chuckle at your words. 

later on in the game, where the rounds had all bled into one long match and people were growing restless, natasha’s girlfriend got up to buy them drinks upon her request. maria elbowed you to talk to natasha alone for the first time that night, but you didn’t want to start anything you weren’t sure her girlfriend was comfortable with, even though natasha was left sitting alone in her own lane, eyes trained on you to walk up to her as well. you only gave a small wave.

you watched as her girlfriend returned after a while, handing natasha a blueberry soda, and cringing at the fact that you knew natasha didn’t like blueberry. 

“can we exchange it?” you heard natasha whisper, but her girlfriend wasn’t so kind. 

“it all tastes the same anyway, why can’t you just drink it? i paid an overpriced amount for that, you know?” 

you suddenly felt the urge to punch the living lights out of the woman, hearing what she said. you wondered why, when you were never a violent person before. perhaps the resigned look on natasha’s face played a vital part in your own feelings, as she nodded numbly and sipped the soda that she oh-so-didn’t enjoy. 

when her girlfriend had returned to hitting the pins again later on, you took the opportunity to leave your own team for a moment, ordering an extra cherry coke under the guise of buying your own snacks. 

you handed it to natasha as you came back, sneakily taking her blueberry soda away from her and throwing it in the trash nearby. you gave her a small wink, but the woman looked like she was ready to risk it all for you then. 

– 

it was emily who reached out to you first, regarding a six-month anniversary gift for natasha. you hardly believed it had been six months since natasha had broken your heart with another; it felt like time hadn’t moved at all. 

you agreed to it, accompanying her to the mall to look for things to get the love of your life and “just a girlfriend” to emily.

“anything in particular you’re looking for?” you asked. emily didn’t know. it was clear she had never gotten a gift for natasha in the duration that they’ve been together. you swallowed the annoyance down; different people had different ways of showing their love, you guessed. 

she stopped outside a jewellery shop, and said, “she has this necklace she’s been wearing since before i even met her. small one, with a flower pendant on it. it looks cheap, don’t you think? i should get her a new one.”

you struggled to hide the hurt and offence you took from her comment. “well, if she likes it enough to keep wearing it, i don’t think it should be an issue.” 

“you’re right. and a necklace is too expensive, anyway. i don’t think i’m ready for that kind of commitment yet,” she joked. you wondered why she would say that, when natasha had told you she was a successful banker. 

“six months is a pretty big commitment, no?” you stayed outside the shop, when she had clearly walked a bit of a distance away. she turned, chuckling at you. 

“i don’t know. i just don’t…feel it yet, that connection. i’m pretty sure natasha hasn’t either. oh well.”

you caught up to her, sighing. “come on, emily. you need to start treating her better, because if you don’t, someone else will.”

she stopped, turning to look at you, still the amused smirk on her face. “didn’t realise you were so protective over her. if you wanted her so bad, just take her off my hands then, jeez.”

it had been a joke, but the way emily had regarded natasha as something more of a possession, an object, than an entire person who was perhaps the best thing that can happen to a person like her, had you seething in rage as you went home later that day. 

–

“your girlfriend’s an absent asshole.”

“come on, she’s not that bad.”

“but she is.” you sat up then, readjusting natasha’s head position on your lap, looking over her. she had been crying, mascara lines down her cheeks and dried tear stains on her face. 

emily had stood her up for the third consecutive date after their six-month anniversary, on top of the shitty grocery store box of chocolates she had given to the woman. 

you had picked her up from the restaurant she was supposed to be at for her date earlier, when natasha called you in the middle of a work meeting, crying that she was afraid she had been stood up stupidly, yet again. your hands had been shaking with fury as you drove to where she was. 

natasha rolled halfway to wrap her arms around your waist. “maybe i’m just expecting too much. maybe i was expecting from her…what i received from you, when we had that arrangement back then.”

there was a lump in your throat, as you answered, “you are not too much, and you shouldn’t be too much, for the people who love you, natty. and you know i want to so badly respect your relationship, you know i have been the most patient, out of all our friends, in giving emily a chance, but i cannot sit here in good conscience and tell you it is okay for her to keep treating you like she has been treating you.”

there were tears in the material of your shirt then. natasha had hidden her face in your comfort. “...i miss us. what we had, what we were, back then. can’t i just go back to that time, the last time i was happy?”

you continued running your fingers through her hair, staying silent. it was best to stay silent.

natasha then looked up at you. “don’t you miss it too?”

she saw you look away. you didn’t want to face her then, and it broke her heart. “...i do. but i don’t wish to go back there.”

“why?”

the fingers in her hair stopped their ministrations. your body stiffened. it was right at the tip of your tongue, what you wanted to say. natasha deserved to hear it from you first, at least. 

“because i broke our arrangement first.”

natasha had her hand holding your face now. you sighed into it, wondering if this was what friends did. “what do you mean?”

“i caught feelings for you, i’m sorry.”

the hand on your face was still there when you shut your eyes, choking down the sobs that had wanted to overflow. it was still there when natasha got up from her position in your lap, sitting on you then, it was still there when she brought her other hand onto your face, and pressed her lips against yours.

when you dared open your eyes again, she was still there. she hadn’t been a figment of your own imagination. and she was smiling at you, soft, unsure. 

“oh i had feelings for you too.” 

your first thought had been oh god, what a relief, which morphed into really? and then, we wasted so much time. 

“why didn’t you tell me?” she frowned. 

“i didn’t want to ruin what we have. i didn’t want to ruin the friendship.”

“i wish you hadn’t been so considerate.”

“i wish i hadn’t been either,” your gaze cast downwards, you were cruelly reminded that natasha wasn’t yours. not then, not now. she still had a girlfriend to return home to. “if i hadn’t…i probably would have the opportunity of loving you right now.”

natasha nodded in agreement. “you would have.”

then, you confessed, “is it bad to wish for you to not be with emily? you don’t know just how much it hurts me, seeing her treat you the way she does; not when i know i could treat you, and love you, so much better.”

you let out an uneasy smile as natasha laughed through her happy tears, “oh, i was planning to break up with her anyway! an absent lover, an even worse girlfriend.”

the shared smiles and laughter between the both of you awakened the butterflies that had long been dormant in your stomach again. “and after which, i’ll ask you, officially ask you, to be my girlfriend.”

“you better.” natasha said, nuzzling her face to your neck as she hugged you tightly.

–

you waited for natasha as she met up with emily one last time, and after a few tearful exchanges and goodbye hugs, the redhead was already jumping back into your car, gazing lovingly as you reached out for her hand, thumb grazing over hers while you drove away. 

it was movie night at yelena’s, and the two of you took up the last two empty seats at the far-end of her sectional sofa. you asked natasha briefly if she was feeling a little sad at the breakup, and what six months of her life with emily had been reduced to, but all she could tell you was that she felt guilty, that she had spent the past six months trying to picture someone else as you, but also thankful, that those months had been put to an end. she then draped the two of you with a blanket she stole from yelena, holding your hand underneath it. 

thor took the seat beside yours, steve took the floor, and when everyone was settled in, the movie played. 

natasha rested her head on your shoulder halfway through the movie. you guessed she didn’t really care if anyone saw it by then, perhaps everyone knew. and when her breathing slowed and the climax of the movie dwindled, you noticed she had fallen asleep, her arms now around your waist once more, cuddling into you. you readjusted the blanket to keep her warmer.

when the credits began to roll and everyone had gotten up, however, you were still frozen in place, refusing to move. at tony’s questioning look, you could only mouth “i don’t want to wake her” before you were met with eye rolls from the rest and yelena taking a photo of natasha’s drooling face. 

an hour passed and natasha still hadn’t awakened, so yelena gave in and told you the two of you could use the guest room in the house to crash for the night. you felt the need to explain to her that natasha had broken up with her girlfriend, and that you weren’t trying to take advantage of her sister, and that– 

“–i know, i know,” she cut you off, holding up a hand, “i trust you, you know my sister better than anyone else. just…take care of her, okay?”

you thanked her, and began carrying natasha up the stairs, still asleep in your arms. “and don’t let her drool on my new silk sheets, please!”

– 

you once again helped natasha remove her makeup and washed her face before bed, and when she felt the coolness of the wet washcloth on her skin, her eyes slowly opened, revealing the emerald green orbs underneath. you didn’t need to deny that the green in them always left you a little breathless any longer.

sleepily, she let out a smile, and pulled you in closer to her. “i love it when you take care of me.”

“and i would happily do it for the rest of my life.”

you snuggled in next to her when you were done, pressing a kiss to her hairline. but before you could drift off to sleep, natasha poked you in the ribs and asked, “when are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?��� 

you faked contemplating for a moment, and the poke to your ribs this time came harder. “so impatient, my love.”

“i think i’ve been very patient. i waited for you during our arrangement, waited even longer when i was with emily, i want to be with you now. i can’t stand a second longer not being yours.”

your heart could burst with just the love you had for this woman. so you held her hand, pressed it to your heart, and earnestly asked, “fine, then. natasha romanoff, would you make me the happiest woman alive, and be my girlfriend?”

she transferred your intertwined hands to her own heart. “yes, yes, yes, please.” 

the bed erupted into a fit of giggles and soft kisses as the both of you embraced each other then.

– 

natasha announced your relationship officially to the rest of the team a few days later. she claimed she hadn’t wanted to hide anymore, and that she was very lucky to have the privilege of being by your side. you supported her during her confession, holding her close and peppering her in kisses after, as the team congratulated the both of you. 

the both of you showed up together to the wedding of another friend. and this time, you slow danced with her to all the songs there were. you didn’t leave early, your body was in sync with hers the whole night, and you carried on the celebrations to the hotel room you both shared. you absolutely loved natasha romanoff, and you didn’t have to hide it anymore. you proudly told everyone you knew, you showed it to everyone who didn’t know. 

you brought natasha out on dates weekly, no matter how busy either of you were, no matter what the occasion was. some dates even included just you and her cooking in her apartment, relaxing into the night with a bottle of wine and dreamy conversations until either one of your hands travelled too far and began the initiation for making love. and when natasha suggested moving in together precisely because of those dates, you weren’t afraid, or reluctant at all. you welcomed the idea with open arms. 

the domesticity of sharing a life with natasha wasn’t boring, and the repetitiveness gave you a sense of comfort and a safe haven to come back to after long days. you would cook for her, she would clean the house, and when the both of you were tired, you would give her massages and she would wash your hair in the bath together. it was a life the both of you had dreamed of when you thought of a lovely, ideal one. 

and when there were fights, there were fights. but you were too soft-hearted for the woman you loved, and after each fight, you would crawl back into her arms and beg for her forgiveness if you were in the wrong. when she was in the wrong, you would do so regardless, with her then apologising as well for her mistakes. it was natural, and normal between the two of you. you refused to let fights simmer or last overnight, and natasha was thankful that you were so kind to her even when you were so angry. 

– 

more than a year later, the very same friend had asked you again if you had any thoughts about marriage, since you were with natasha now. 

the both of you had been looking around for an anniversary gift for natasha, and you had passed by the shop where you first bought her the necklace with the flower pendant. the very same necklace that she had never taken off ever since. 

there, lay a brand new line of engagement rings. and when you were just about to walk away and shrug and avoid his question, a particular one caught your eye. it had a jade as green as natasha’s eyes. it would fit on her finger so well. 

you looked back at him, and he was already grinning at you. he laughed, patting your back, and told you he knew you would be taking back the words you said to him that day. 

“fine, i am ready to marry her now.” 

[abbyromanoff]

I have come to request something.

Remember when we talked about Tattoo Artist! Nat. I want that. Daddy kink, breeding, and just have fun. Add whatever you want to it. Obviously, Dom!Nat.

DESIGNS

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Wanda Maximoff x reader

WORD COUNT: 628

WARNINGS: smut, strap on usage, threesome, making out, hint of manipulation, innocent!R, virginity loss, Mommy (N), breeding, shy!Wanda, think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

“How- how is this supposed to help exactly?” The tip of her cock teased your hole, a smirk planted on her face as she guided you to grind against her length. Her partner, Wanda, was sitting shyly next to the two of you, the ink gun in her hand. She looked down, trying to avoid all possible eye contact with either of you. Nat had always been derogatory, but this was a new level. Not once had she ever led someone to rest on her pulsing erection, and Wanda assumed someone would never agree to the request. Nat was attractive, sure, but she didn’t expect anyone to be as naive as you.

“It’s just going to distract you from the pain, sweetheart. We don’t want to hurt you, right, Wanda?” She nodded, giving you a hesitantly warm smile as you gulped nervously.

“Uhm, I’ve never-“ You cut yourself off, fears rising as you nearly admitted your pureness.

“Oh, baby, will I be your first?” You shook your head, yes, sniffling as your hips jutted lower, causing her cock to ease into your hole slowly. The tip was embraced with your warmth, and she moaned lowly at the contact.

“Well, I’m so honored. Why don’t you place your hands on my shoulders and let Wanda work, okay?” You did as told, your gaze falling to her breasts that were hidden by a sports bra and a loose tank top. She smiled, grasping your chin and leading you in for a long, passionate kiss. Wanda placed the pen against your lower back, following the sketch as you hissed in pain. But it wasn’t from the buzzing object, it was from the painful ache in your core as Nat stretched you out.

“Don’t worry, the pain will go away soon, little one.” She squeezed your lower cheeks, teasing her thumb near your tightest hole and causing you to bite your lip.

“No bitting, Mommy wants to kiss those sweet lips.” She groaned as her mouth collided with yours once again, her tongue making an appearance against yours.

“Mm, why don’t you give my partner here a little peck, hm? I bet she’s just dying to touch you.” The pen came to a stop for a quick moment, her hooded glances now being returned by you. You let her lean close, chuckling at the nervous glances she sent towards Nat.

“It’s okay, it’s just a little kiss.” The two of you whimpered as you came in contact, and her free hand grasped your thigh suddenly. She massaged the skin and caused you to rock your hips further, bringing Nat’s length to your g-spot that cried for attention.

“Mommy!” You screamed against Wanda’s lips, and she couldn’t help the fingers that trailed to your aching clit. Your hands groped your breasts until Nat guided them away, leading you to lower her top and suck on her hardened nipples. Wanda now lacked your lips, and she could’ve cried out because of it.

“Nat, you aren’t being fair.”

“Shh, get back to work and let me play with this one, I’m having too much fun with them.”

You weren’t given a warning when the buzzing stopped, nor were you informed when her drops of cum filled your cunt. You gasped in shock, placing your hand on your stomach and feeling the area. Your womb was now painted with her liquid, and your release coated her cock deliciously. She smirked, patting your back and letting you stand, which you failed to do easily. Wanda gave you one last glance before returning to the back.

“So, if you ever need another tattoo, call me.” She handed you a note with her number scribbled on it. “I’ll even give you a discount for being such a good customer.”

[romanoffsbish]

Y/N (Natasha’s Version)

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Natasha x Bucky (blip / referenced)

Warnings: “Cheating” | Underage Drinking | Internalized Homophobia

Request | You heard the rumors from Darcy, unfortunately they were true—Natasha missed you, so she showed up at your party | WC: 2,799

Betty by Taylor Swift, sapphic canon not just coded and slightly aged up to the start of college (18+)

As the car rolled away, Natasha felt her throat constrict. Where there once was a sunset on the horizon, in blush waves of pink and orange, she only saw an apocalyptic sky where red slowly bled into grey.

——

The perfectly paved streets restored to their prior days as the pre-gentrified road of your shared Brooklyn suburb became her current hallucination. Tied to the tail pipe of your mother's beaten down corolla was her heart, thumping against the cracked pavement. The natural gaps in the organ were filled by pebbles. As the car disappeared she felt shattered, the string pulling her heart had broken and the organ fell into a pothole.

Is it over now? No, Natasha couldn't face that...

As your mom's Tesla turned left the redhead let the sob she had been holding in out. Her body collapsed into a shroud of darkness as her blackout curtains shut, the blankets atop of her mattress moved to suffocate her.

Good, she wanted to die; she knew she was being dramatic but in this moment it felt like her barely even an adult world had ended. Her hit list was growing steadily, first she would kill Wanda, her idiot best friend that posted the photo of her with Bucky.

They were awkwardly kissing, and the redhead deleted it from her stories in a matter of minutes, but it was too late. Darcy saw it, the mutual friend who moved to the same city as she had, and she blabbed instantly. The woman called Jane, who then confirmed that there was actual proof this time before she phoned you in.

Natasha returned to town just in time to see the one consequence she never pondered when experimenting; your face was neutral, but your eyes were crestfallen.

It was just a stupid experience she needed to have, a short summer fling, it lasted not even two weeks. It was reckless and she knows that now. You'd slapped her hand away just days ago, then in a split second she found out from Yelena that you were going to NYU.

The blonde saw you at her late orientation for those stellar high school students interested in an early start. Natasha cried that night knowing you were leaving, you wouldn't be taking the gap year with her anymore.

Your heart was attached to her line, and she never considered that she should've just talked to you. It should have occurred to her that you would be upset. Considering the two of you were together, in a sense; not exactly girlfriends, but far more than friends.

Natasha regretted the affair as soon as it started, but she just needed to know if her Russian parents, who were raised back home were ready for her truth.

James was a total gentleman, her parents would've loved him since the young boy was affluent with Russian and the culture, but he wasn't the right fit. Natasha knew that after one attempt at kissing him, his lips were gruff and his hands were just the same as they roamed her form, the touch filled her with dread.

Unlike yours, which never came without words of confirmation and were soft when granted permission. Natasha found immense comfort at the feeling of your pillowy soft lips against hers alongside your gentle roaming hands. It went beyond the physical touch too, which really only served to prove to her she was a raging lesbian. When she looked into Bucky's ice blue eyes she felt nothing, not even a tether of friendship, but with you she felt that obnoxious fluttering in her stomach, and the world she saw were more vibrant.

Every time you were near her body and mind felt serene, like she could rest around you without the unease she felt around most. Everything was different now and she felt it deep within. You're gone, and with you left the comfort and love she needed to breathe.

That night, as sleep inevitably consumed her tortured mind Natasha found herself determined to fix this. It was a misunderstanding—you'd understand, right?

——

A week had gone by, Yelena had mentioned how she ran into you at the cafe where you treated her to a hot cocoa. Not allowing the turmoil with Natasha to affect the way you approached her little sister. It had warmed her heart and even made her smile, then the blonde sarcastically mentioned that you looked sad, her harsh delivery sought to remind her sister it was her fault.

Though she didn't leave her with only the reminder of her shortcomings, but also of an opportunity to amend.

"There's a frat party this weekend, Y/N's going."

Which is why Natasha was racing down the stairs at 8pm on a Saturday. Normally you two would be cuddled up in her bed, watching your favorite show while surrounded by every snack known to man. The party lifestyle never appealed to either of you and a part of her ached as she wondered why you're going.

How deeply did her betrayal change your outlook on life? Did her foolish decision make you think you needed to change? Were you afraid you weren't lively enough? Fuck, did you intend to move on tonight?

Natasha shook her head when she heard a honk, the depressing thoughts having consumed her into a state where she was mindlessly driving. Fortunately, she didn't hit anyone and was able to focus her mind long enough to make it to the college where she saw chaos.

Bodies of various students bustled across the campus quad, some in the direction of the main buildings but majority of them headed to a road far off to the side of the grand lecture halls. On the left side were rather large houses painted in varied shades of pastel, they were clearly well maintained. On the right stood a parallel set of houses, but the paint job was dull and there were pieces missing from many of the fixtures.

What stood out most though, was the black house in the center of them all, currently surrounded by idiots with red solo cups in their hands. The bulk of them laughing at the joke another drunken fool had made.

Natasha cringed when a body collided into hers, and as if things couldn't be worse she recognized the woman, Darcy. The raven haired woman stood in shock for a split second before offering the familiar face a smile. It was lopsided and it was clear the woman was faded.

Natasha was annoyed initially, but quickly saw the woman as a means to an end. "Where's Y/N?"

The woman pursed her lips and shrugged. "Inside?"

As she should've expected, the blabbing stoner only offered information to others when it wasn't helpful. Natasha passive aggressively pushed by her and took the risk of entering the house full of underage bodies.

Loads of upperclassmen foolishly tried to stop her on her determined journey to you, but most were met with bruised nuts alongside their cowering egos. In a matter of thirty minutes she had checked the entirety of the cloudy building and a part of her beamed at that.

You were nowhere to be found, her heart hoped that you'd returned to the dorm she finessed out of Yelena.

There was a nervous flutter in her chest that brought her frantic searching to a pause and made her mouth run dry. A pang of fear that paralyzed her body in place as she now considered the endless possible outcomes.

Would you even open the door if you knew it was her?

The redhead was sure you didn't have peepholes but there's the likely chance of you slamming the door shut in her face, that felt worse. Not nearly as bad as her next thought, what if you were exploring too, just like she had with Bucky? Her hands became shaky at the hypocritical unease she felt about you moving on.

In her nervous state she took a sip of the punch before she promptly spit it back out into the red solo cup. If she wasn't nauseated before she sure as hell was now. A water bottle was just in her reach, properly cold and a perfect cure to wash away the disgust on her tongue. Just as she began to unscrew the lid though she found herself frozen again as she heard a familiar giggle.

Natasha's head spun to the left side then the right. A blur of pointless people filled her vision before she found the source of the laughter—her happiness.

Stood directly across the room, in a gorgeous red dress with a familiar leather jacket hanging loosely over your likely bare shoulders. Her cheeks tinted pink, a sense of relief nearly washed over her at the notion of you potentially not hating her like she feared. Then she frowned, you wore a bright smile as you sipped on a juice box. It warmed the heart of your once secret lover to see you looking so carefree, a stark contrast to the last time, just like she always remembered you to be.

This time though, you were enraptured by a stupid jock, they bore an uncanny resemblance to herself that made her stomach swoop with a fragile sense of hope.

If you looked for her in another, she stood a chance, even if it was microscopic and not guaranteed. Right?

Yes or no, it didn't matter. Natasha would not go down without a fight, she once beat off an entire group of boys for taunting you, she'd gladly do it again for you.

Fortunately for the redhead she wouldn't have to. It was like something out of a movie the way your eyes locked with hers, the sounds became muted and you felt a dull flutter in your stomach where it used to be a roaring surge of butterflies to symbolize a deep love. A swarm of tears hung at the edge of your lashes and the massive room suddenly became too claustrophobic.

Natasha didn't question it as you took off, nor did she hesitate to dart after you as you aimlessly ran out the back door and stumbled upon an unexpected garden.

Who knew the dude bros also bore green thumbs?

Natasha found you sobbing over their patch of carrots and couldn't refrain from softly chuckling. Even in your grief you were finding a way to be useful and it filled her with nostalgia, it was just so inherently you.

Once your eyes shot up to hers, narrowed and enraged she realized she wasn't as quiet as she thought. "Fuck off Natasha." The joy on her face neutralized as she fell to her knees in front of you, her instinct was to reach out—to pull you in, but with words left unsaid and your clear disdain verbalized she knew it was best not to.

Every other time she'd seen you cry she held you close, but in this moment all she could do was grab the loose, fraying threads of your light brown cardigan and wrap it around her tiny, chiseled frame as if hugging herself.

A part of you softened when your eyes caught the self-soothing move, and the urge for answers won over your decision to never speak to the heartbreaker again.

"Why?" Natasha's frown worsened, the crack in your voice mirrored the ones in both of your naive souls.

"I missed you," she instantly answers one of the questions attached to the simple word, "and I needed the chance to explain myself before you give us up."

"Us?" You scoffed and didn't even care that she flinched. "You moved on first Natasha, without even a heads up—I found out through the local pothead."

"No," she denied with a shaky voice, "I didn't mean."

"Oh please," you cut her off, "I don't do cliches Natasha and you very well know that. I just don't understand."

"Let me speak," she croaked desperately, "I don't know why I didn't come to you with this query det—Y/N."

A shiver of delight betrayed you as it ran down your spine when you heard the delicate beginnings of the pet name Natasha assigned to you in middle school. The notion alone should have been enough for the redhead to know, but feelings were never definite enough for her, much like her mom she leaned into empirical evidence and just this once it has failed her.

"I needed to know," she continued. "Know what?"

You saw the way her nail beds were raw and red, much like her eyes as she attempted to refrain from crying more as she whispered, "when I came out to Mama and Papa, I had to know if you were my one and only, or if the urge to kiss girls since pre-k was truly genuine."

"So you kissed some random guy? I wasn't enough?"

"I couldn't just trust my heart here," she replied with frustration clear in her tone, but she quickly softened as she saw your hurt expression, she reminded herself that this uncomfortable, targeted feeling was her fault.

"Why him?" Natasha saw an insecurity in your eyes that infuriated her at her core, as if he ever compared to you. "He was their type," she answered truthfully.

You hummed and turned away from her, staring out into the black abyss that was the forestry behind the college. It intrigued you, nearly enough to run into it but you saw the danger there, but as you peered over at Natasha again you found the resentment melted away; the butterflies found a gust of wind to flutter against.

You shakily found the nerve to ask her, "so, was I?"

A few seconds of silence followed as the redhead worked to understand your question, Natasha's lip trembled as your intentional verbiage left her feeling hopeless, but she spoke her truth, "You always will be."

A mix between a groan and humorless laugh left you, "I said no cliches Natty, if you want to win me over..." Instead of saying another word you stood up and left.

Natasha's eyes widened and she stumbled to her feet, intent on following you as you slowly walked back towards the party she had no particular interest in joining. To her satisfaction you merely smiled at a friend as you grabbed your bag from by the couch.

Wordlessly you continued out the front door, and a giggle left you once Natasha grabbed you by your hip from the side, her body twisted around you and her other hand landed on your other hip. The beauty wore a hesitant smile on her face as she peered up at you.

Natasha breathlessly pled, "Can I kiss you, please?"

"A kiss on the steps of a college frat party," you teased, a smirk on your ruby tinted lips, "is grossly overdone."

The redhead moved her arms around your waist and yanked you forward anyways, "cliches are romantic." Her anxiety bitten lips pressed into yours, of course you felt the way her body relaxed due to your touch and the last bit of doubt left your body as she spun you around until your legs wrapped around her waist.

In a moment of excitable weakness you sighed, "I only will accept kisses like this going forward." Natasha chuckled at the change up, and you glared instantly, "I refuse to be a spectacle though, so take me to the car!"

Natasha refused to take any chances with your bubbling forgiveness so she rushed forward, gentle as can be as she settled you into the raised truck. It was automatic as you reached for her aux, "let's go to our spot—you can continue to win me over with food..."

A soft kiss was placed on your cheek in thanks, you knew this because Natasha always did this after a fight. Usually it was over something silly, like who was the masked killer or where you two should get dinner, but it was always true, the action was a promise of peace.

The redhead put the car in drive, pulling onto the quiet roads of a rural New York mountainside, windows rolled down allowing you to enjoy the crisp air as she went slightly above the 50mph speed limit. Whenever she could she'd cast a glance your way, and even in the dark she could catch your radiant smile as you quietly sang along to, "begin again," by Taylor Swift.

After a few moments of quiet driving on the redheads part you felt the presence of a hand, crippled by hesitation hovering over your thigh. With a gentle finger you pressed it down and looked to her with a gaze that held both hesitation and a willingness to understand, to forgive and hopefully, to start anew.

[scar-lie]

Save us [Natasha & Scarlett]

Summary : You're tired of fighting, you're losing hope and giving up for your relationship with your two girlfriends who don't want to fight for you

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Female!Reader, Scarlett Johansson x Female!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Scarlett Johansson

Warning : Arguing

Word count : 1,723

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

You rub the side of your eyes, getting stressed by the endless argument you have had with your two girlfriends for four years now, and you're losing hope; you're losing everything you have to give for them the further you three argue.

You're getting tired and drained from giving all you have to them without receiving anything back. It feels like you're playing house with them, where they're going to need to go or get tired; they’ll just leave without considering you or your feelings, while you're left without anyone but your thoughts.

“Why can't you fucking understand that?! There are things that're more important than staying here. To what? ...to stay here, so you wouldn't mope around about how sad you are alone! "Natasha screamed, getting frustrated and irritated by the simple things you're asking, and so was Scarlett.

“I do; I do understand what you're pointing at, but you're not listening." You quickly shut your mount when Scarlett interrupts you, so you put your hand to your face, covering how broken you are.

“I act for a living, Y/N. This is what I do before you come into my life; this is my life. I can't just say to them, "Sorry, I’m going to be gone for a week or two; my girlfriend wants me to stay in.” That's not how fucking works.” They are ready to leave, bags already packed, already dressed up; only this argument is making them stay.

“And I save lives for living, so I can't just stop taking a break; just fucking think before you become selfish,” Natasha screamed, slamming the door shut on her way out.

“Not everything is in your favor, not because you're our girlfriend; you can just decide or dictate what we're going to do; you're just our girlfriend,” Scarlett followed suit, leaving you completely alone in your shared home, the one they bought because of how welcoming it is, how the house welcomes the natural light, how peaceful the place is, the big backyard where you're obsessed with growing flowers, fruits, and vegetables—this house is just perfect for their liking and yours. That's why they surprised you with the house.

This is your mark of a happy life ahead of you, and this is the house. That's why they surprise you with the house. “This is our mark of a happy life ahead of us,” “and this is our house that we will make happy memories,” they quote.

But now you're asking yourself if this house makes you three happy anymore—the same house the three of you are planning to have a family with and grow old with until your grandchildren drag your ass out to the backyard to play or do something interesting.

You're losing hope that this relationship will be the same; you're falling into a deep hole further and further down until you reach the peak, where there's no way out if you keep pushing yourself to them.

You're body collided in the soft mattress, your sobs are getting muffled by the pillow you're hugging—their pillow to be exact—soaking it with your tears, all the pent-up frustrating, sleepless nights, the feelings you're bottling are now erupting, making your body shake while crying, not caring if the neighbor can hear you—it's just all too much.

You have nothing else to give anymore; you're drained and done with months of arguing and please them to give you at least a little bit of their time, to put you in their first priority. You're tired of forgiving them over and over again, and you don't think you can open the door to let them in one more time. You have no cards to give to them anymore; all the best cards are already used.

They are again saying how sorry they are and how they are going to make it up to you—key word make-up "sex"—through text the next day, but you can't find any word to reply, so you stick with “ok, it's fine," laying your phone face down on the couch while watching some random movies, rom-coms, TV series, or just anything that can pass your time since you don't have anything to do.

But this doesn't sit right with Natasha and Scarlett, waiting for further massages that never come, or maybe they are waiting for your caring self to text them how they are doing, asking if they already eat or how's their day, or maybe they are waiting for your rambling or complaining about how’s your day goes, or how boring it is that your friends are being bitchy on the internet.

but that never came even in the following days; all they got was a short reply and a cold shoulder, making them uneasy through the next few weeks until they got home, worried and hopeful that once they step in the front door, you're going to throw yourself into them like you always do.

"Darling, we're home! "Natasha and Scarlett shout, dropping their bags in the hallway and locking the door.

“In the lounge,” you reply back, not bothering to stand up to great them properly, you're just sitting there in front of a TV while scrolling through social media.

“Hey, there's no kisses or hugs? "Scarlett sat down next to you, so you kissed her on the cheek, doing the same thing to Natasha when she sat on the other side, mumbling, “Welcome home,” then go back, scrolling down through your phone.

"Hey, stop giving us a cold shoulder; we're here. Isn't that what you want? "Natasha whispers softly, caressing your exposed thigh while trying to read you while Scarlett lays her head on your shoulder. The moves you know from the back of your hand indicate they want sex.

“I’m not in the mood.” You push Nat's hand and Scar's head gently, then stand up, going up to your shared bedroom.

“I think we should give her some space for now,” Scarlett whispered, following you with her eyes and sighing in frustration.

“She's just being dramatic, Scar; she's come running to us eventually,” Nat dismissed, going in the kitchen to drink some water and hoping there's food but finding nothing, so she looked back, giving Scarlett a smile, shaking her head while chuckling.

“Fine, what do you want? "Nat gives her a smirk, knowing her way to get her to cooking.

" Pasta, please” With that, they both chat in the kitchen, catching up and having a little fun like they always do right before you come on the picture.

Hearing them giggling and chuckling from the bedroom makes you hate yourself because they are happy without you, they can go to their day without you, and you hate how they can just continue their day without bothering if you're okay or include you.

So in the end, you just move to the farthest room, which is the guestroom. You three didn't use it much, but these past few months, Natasha and Scarlett have usually used it since you three were always arguing and they ended up sleeping in the guestroom while you're alone in your shared bedroom.

But as each day passes, you're feeling yourself uninterested. Sure, you three interact, but not like before, and today is another argument in Natasha and Scarlett’s minds since they need to go again.

“We're heading out now; be safe here.” Natasha kisses your forehead, followed by Scarlett, and you hum, continuing to read your book.

"Ok,” you simply reply, which sends a shiver down their spine.

“Ok? Aren't you going to tell us how workaholic we are? How come we don't spend time here anymore? Leaving you alone, aren't you going to ask us to give you some of our time? "Scarlett frowns while standing, and Natasha thinks the same way, waiting for your answer.

"No,” you're unbothered; not even a single emotion is showing in your face; you're just calm.

“Why? "You shrug at Natasha's question, turning to the next page.

“Why? "You chuckle sarcastically, making Scarlett uncomfortable, shifting from one foot to another and picking her skin, making Natasha step forward to stop her from getting herself hurt.

“You mean ‘begged you for your time? ’, what's the point? To make myself look desperate? Needy? Selfish? Self-centered? "You shake your head with a scrawl face.

“No thanks, plus whatever I say or do will never stop you from leaving or doing what you want; if you want to leave, then go leave; I don't care anymore.” Their hearts both sank down to the pit of their stomachs.

“Like you always say, what you do is more important than being with me for a few minutes, so I’m saving both of you and me the energy you needed for something and time.” Scarlett held Natasha's arm tightly, finding herself starting to have an anxiety attack, but Natasha was rubbing her back. Natasha felt hurt and worried that they pushed you too far.

Sure, she dearly loves Scarlett. I mean, they're already in a relationship when you join the couple, but that doesn't mean she loves you any less. You're the heart of this house; you're keeping them in their toes; you're their center; you're their foundation that's keeping everything in their surroundings magical; you're their Alice in their Wonderland; the apple in their eyes; their home in their heart; and their key to their locks.

In short, they couldn't function without you; you're the center of everything to them, so this makes their world turn upside down, but in a bad way.

“I-I wanna stay……I-I’ll just call to have at least 2 weeks leave,” Scarlett mumbles, getting lost of words, and all she can think about is being with you, to cuddle you, kiss you, hug you, and just be with you, and so does Natasha.

‘I-I wanna….stay too,” but before they can dial a number, you quickly stop them.

“Oh no, please don't. Don't let me hold you back. Just because I speak what's on my mind, please do leave and go on with your week.” You give them a tight smile, then go back to reading.

But the two shake their heads no, wanting to be as close to you as possible, but before they can approach the bed, their whole world crashes into pieces.

“Besides, I’ve fallen out of love.”