#No.3 – Sticks and Stones may break my Bones but...

[blkkizzat]

@ 𝙭𝙓𝘿𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙂𝙤𝙙69𝙓𝙭 𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮...

AND GOD KNOWS I'M TRYIN', BUT THERE'S JUST NO USE IN DENYING... ❤︎︎︎︎ THE OTAKU IS MINE ❤︎︎

⏯︎︎ OTAKU!GOJO X BIMBO!READER SERIES

bunny, how on earth did you end up dating this huge otaku nerd? urgh, you actually like him and match his freak too? and he buys you what?! omg! what will your friends think?!

⏯︎︎ 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘

𖦏 genre: college au

𖦏 ratings: 18+MDNI. unprotected, ecchi gojo, dubcon, cnc, bdsm, puppy play, public sex, creampies, spanking, sugar daddy/baby dynamics, edging, squirting, threesums, femdom, the ridiculous ass pervy pet names gojo gives you & reader is called 'bunny' in lieu of 'y/n'. each story will have warnings on its story page.

𖦏 pre register: comment to be tagged. i may not respond to everyone but rest assured if you comment you will be tagged!

𖦏 gamer's guide: all fics are listed in chronological order, but likely won't be written in chronological order. summaries subject to change slightly. they also will be written over time so please don't rush me for the next installment but feel free to ask me questions i love talking about this lil freak❤︎︎

⏯︎︎ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘:

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟏: ❝ DIGIMON—BUT MAKING U CUM IS MY REAL HOBBY! ❞

𖦏 your best friend gojo is a hopeless otaku virgin with zero rizz that's still obsessed with digimon—despite being a grown ass man. you're a slut who despite her best whoring efforts—can't cum. you'll take his v-card and he'll fix your broken pussy, deal? ⏯︎︎ plays: 13.3k

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟐: ❝ STICKS N' STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT CHAINS N' WHIPS EXCITE ME! ❞

𖦏 so now that you have a filthy rich boyfie who is completely obsessed with you and has moved you into his house, you're winning, right? or you will be at least— if can survive a trip to the sex dungeon. don't worry it's professionally sanitized after each use! ...what? that's not what you're worried about? oh... ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟑: ❝ AND ALL OF THAT WAS OKAY, CAUSE IT WAS IN A 3-WAY!❞

𖦏 the three of you: you, gojo and geto are like peas in a pod, especially since its summer! and if two of you start f*cking in that pod well its only natural that the third want to join in, right? besides, you both already want to f*ck him. just make sure your current boyfie doesn't get too jealous from how hard you are moaning on your other besties' joystick. your only his ecchi angel, remember? ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟒: ❝ IN THE BEDROOM I BE SCREAMIN', BUT OUTSIDE I KEEP IT QUIET—OR TRY TO AT LEAST!❞

𖦏 you can only keep your relationship underwraps from the rest of your friend group for so long. but you need to ease them into the idea first! although, when there's a yacht party for nanami's bday how is your uber clingy otaku boyfie supposed to keep his hands off of you when you're looking like the most perfect pervy princess in that itty bitty swimsuit? ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟓: ❝ YEAH, HE MY MAN, HE WAS NEVER YO TYPE! ❞

𖦏 school is back! thankfully you somehow manage to instill some kind of decency into your otaku boyfie over the summer so he can come across as normal enough to make his own friends. but did you do too good of a job? wait, he actually has a lil rizz now? you mean you aren't the only girl attracted to him anymore... hol'up! ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟔: ❝ MOVE IT UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, OH—SWITCH IT UP LIKE NINTENDO! ❞

𖦏 hey, when did you become freaker than your otaku boyfie? so he caught you touching yourself to his femdom p0rn when he came back early from a business trip? yikes! now he wants to try it out with you? don't worry you will do a great job training your new play puppy boyfie! ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

⏯︎︎ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:

𖦏 soundtrack: [ x ] 𖦏 moodboards: [ lvl 1 ] 𖦏 faq/thirsts: [ x ]

©𝐛𝐥𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐚𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐟𝐱, 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞.︎︎

[top-lil]

as I mature, I've learned that I don't have much room in my heart for hate and can't hold grudges very long

[prokopetz]

Code Green

A game for 3–7 players, about being where you're not supposed to be.

Last night, you were suspended in a tube of brightly coloured goo in an underground research facility, operated by an organisation whose three-letter initialism's meaning is strictly need-to-know. This morning, someone noticed your tube was empty. Nobody has determined how that happened yet, and you're not inclined to stick around until they figure it out!

Or, in other words, it's been nearly a whole week since I got that massive revision to Space Gerbils out the door, and apparently my brain has decided that's enough of a break. This thing was written start to finish in under 12 hours, so let the circumstances of its authorship guide your expectations. Special thanks go once again to Caro Asercion, whose micro-RPG Dwindle introduced me to the design space I'm fucking around with here. Go buy their stuff.

Anyway:

What You'll Need

Code Green is a tabletop RPG for one game moderator (GM) and up to six players. Each player will need a copy of the Profile Grid, below, as well as three tokens of some sort: dice, coins, beads, etc. You'll also need at least five six-sided dice (for the whole group, not per player, though it's fine if each player has their own set). If you're using dice for tokens, it's recommended that the dice you plan to roll be visually distinguishable in case they land on someone's Profile Grid.

Rolling Dice

There are two ways you'll be asked to roll dice in this game: rolling d66, and rolling a dice pool.

To roll d66, roll a six-side die twice, reading the first roll as the "tens" place and the second roll as the "ones" place, yielding a number in the range from 11 to 66. For example, if you rolled a 3 and then a 5, your result is 35. You may also be asked to flip a d66 roll; to do this, take your result and swap the digits without re-rolling. In the preceding example, if you flipped your roll of 35, your new result would be 53.

To roll a dice pool, pick up the indicated number of six-side dice, roll them, and take the highest individual result. Duplicates have no special significance. For example, if you rolled a pool of three dice and got a 2, a 4, and a 4, your result would be 4. If you would ever roll a pool of zero or fewer dice, roll two dice and take the lowest instead.

Character Creation

Each player should create their own character. There are three things about your character which are always true:

You are newly born into the world. You may know things about the world (e.g., from your programming, having read them on a computer terminal, etc.), but you haven't experienced them.

You are implausibly good at remaining inconspicuous; unless you're deliberately drawing attention or doing something which requires a dice roll, humans will almost always fail to spot you.

You are not human. You can decide what that means.

To find out what else is true about your character, roll or choose three times from the Form table, and three times from the Function table, placing your results into the correspondingly labelled slots on the Profile Grid, below, in any order you please. Your three results from each table should be different; if you elected to roll and get the same entry multiple times, flip your result, and re-roll if it's still a duplicate.

Think about what your three Form traits and three Function traits imply about your character's physical makeup, but don't set anything in stone just yet – you'll see why not in a moment.

Finally, roll a six-sided die five times, and record the results in the order in which they're received. The resulting five-digit number is the only name your character has when play begins.

Table 1: Form (d66)

11–12. Blood 13–14. Bones 15–16. Brain 21–22. Claws 23–24. Ears 25–26. Eyes 31–32. Guts 33–34. Hands 35–36. Heart 41–42. Hair 43–44. Legs 45–46. Lungs 51–52. Nose 53–54. Skin 55–56. Tail 61–62. Teeth 63–64. Tongue 65–66. Wings

Table 2: Function (d66)

11–12. Accelerated 13–14. Autonomous 15–16. Auxiliary 21–22. Cryogenic 23–24. Cryptic 25–26. Elastic 31–32. Electric 33–34. Entropic 35–36. Invasive 41–42. Invulnerable 43–44. Kinetic 45–46. Magnetic 51–52. Phasing 53–54. Polymorphic 55–56. Projectile 61–62. Pyrogenic 63–64. Telescopic 65–66. Toxic

Playing the Game

Play proceeds in a series of scenes. In each scene, the GM will set the stage: a challenge to overcome, a peril to escape, a mystery to investigate, etc. Given the nature of your characters, most things will be mysteries to you!

Initial Token Placement

Once the stage has been set, place each of your three tokens on a different square on your Profile Grid. If you have no preference, you can roll d66 for each token and place it in the square whose marked numeric range contains the number you rolled, flipping or re-rolling your result if you get a square which already contains a token. The placement of these tokens represents your initial state when the scene opens. Depending on the nature of your character, this may be reflected by a shifting of internal focus, or by a physical transformation.

Participation

To participate in the scene, simply tell the GM what your character does; the GM will describe how the world responds, and ask what you do next. Whenever you wish – or are forced – to do something more than lurk and observe, you are obliged to make a test.

Making Tests

To make a test, first choose a pair of traits – one Form trait, and one Function trait – with which to face the challenge. For example, if your Form traits are Legs, Tail and Teeth, and your Function traits are Cryptic, Invulnerable and Phasing, you might test your Invulnerable Legs against the trouble at hand.

Next, count the number of tokens present in the rows extending from each of the chosen traits. The illustration below shows which squares would be consulted in the preceding example:

Next, roll a dice pool containing a number of dice equal to the number of tokens present on squares extending from the chosen traits. Do not count a token twice if it's on the square where the two traits intersect (e.g., the green square in the illustration above). In the event that no tokens fall on squares extending from appropriate traits, remember that you are allowed to roll a pool of zero dice by rolling two dice and taking the lowest rather than the highest.

Finally, compare your result to the following table:

1–3. Less than human. Whatever you'd intended to try still happens, but it cannot overcome human opposition (or adversity which would challenge a typical human), and any lasting effects are transitory and easily explained away. 4–5. Mostly human. Your effort can contend with human opposition (or circumstances which would challenge a competent human), and its lasting effects make it obvious that someone (or something) has been interfering with matters. 6. More than human. Your effort easily brushes aside any human opposition, and its lasting effects are impossible to rationalise as anything other than the intervention of inhuman forces.

Without Applicable Traits

In the event that you're forced to make a test and no possible pairing of your traits is applicable, you don't get to roll anything, not even with a pool of zero dice; simply resolve the outcome as though you'd rolled a result of 1–3. Other characters may attempt to preserve you from this fate by assisting you, in which case you roll one die per assisting friend; see below for more details.

Assistance

If you wish to assist another character in making a test, consult your own Profile Grid, considering only those squares which contain tokens. Only the specific pairs of traits represented by the squares on which your tokens fall are eligible for assistance; for example, if one of your tokens falls on the intersection of Cryptic and Teeth, you may assist with Cryptic Teeth, but not any other pair of traits involving Cryptic or Teeth unless those squares also have tokens on them.

If you're able to identify an eligible pair of traits that seems applicable to the test at hand, explain how you're using it to help, and hand the player making the test one extra die. Any number of characters may assist on a given test.

Providing assistance neither requires nor permits your character to adapt (see below) – it needs to be your own test for that!

Adapting

After resolving a test, your character adapts, shifting focus or form to reflect what they've learned. Take one token of your choice from your character sheet, and move it to a different square which doesn't already contain one. You can move any token you wish, but it must end up on a different square than the one it started on unless no valid destinations are available. Adapting is not optional, and must be carried out after every test.

Suffering Strain

If whatever you're making a test against is particularly strenuous or dangerous, you might suffer strain as a consequence. Strain will often be incurred on a result of 1–3, and rarely on a result of 4–5; only the most foolhardy efforts will incur strain even on a result of 6!

To incur strain, roll d66, and place a small X on the square on your Profile Grid whose indicated numeric range contains the number you rolled. If there's a token on that square, immediately move it to an empty square of your choice, unless fewer than three unmarked squares now remain; in that case, simply remove the token entirely.

For the remainder of the scene, tokens may not be moved to any marked square. In addition, if you suffer further strain, and the square indicated by your d66 roll is already marked, your character is incapacitated, and may not participate in tests at all until they recover.

All strain is cleared – and any discarded tokens restored – at the end of each scene. Incapacitated characters also recover at this time.

[icyg4l]

August 2024 Predictions

hello beautiful people! i am back from my break. did u miss me?? 😁😁 lol. (i am not going to be opening my personal readings yet though. maybe later or earlier next month). i want to start off by thanking you all for the birthday wishes. it is an honor to make it to the age of twenty. also, i have been very busy with trying to get everything together for my new semester of school. i am finally relocating so it’s gonna be hectic for the next month or so! i will make personal readings available as soon as possible. but i hope you guys enjoy the readings that resonate with you! without further ado, please select your pile!

pile 1-3: (left-to-right)

pile one: don’t be desperate, pile one. allow things to unfold the way they’re supposed to. you’re a bit of a control freak. do you have virgo in your chart? let the mystery be alluring! you may find that not knowing everything is actually a relief. allow yourself to be challenged. i heard “be in the nude”. now’s the time to start being kinder to your body. be more affirming to your body, treat food as it is (not as good or bad), buy clothes that are flattering to it. august will be a time of exploring what the world has to offer. don’t feel guilty for doing so either. august will bring you the best of both worlds, so if you’ve been struggling with maintaining stability in two specific areas of your life, it will come. if you’ve recently broken a bone, expect a fast recovery, especially if you smoke weed. if your family is feuding, expect for them to reconcile their differences. i see that your financial situation will improve as well because of your decision to expand beyond the norm. think big, but don’t be greedy.

cards used: queen of wands, seven of swords, two of wands, five of wands, ten of cups, nine of pentacles, two of pentacles, six of swords

extras: manga. phat girlz (2006). annihilator. gold grillz. mirror work.

pile two: you may find that you are reminiscing about the past this august. however, you should not dwell on it. the past is the past for a reason. the disappointments/setbacks you have faced will not last for longer. have some faith. it feels as though someone has been talking shit about you. let them think what they want to think. you have nothing to prove to this. this person could have gemini placements. you are not the person you once were. this month it is crucial that you do self-concept work. what people can say may really get to you. you could find yourself being ultra-sensitive to jokes and the words of other people. if it makes you feel any better, stand your ground. you are the embodiment of “sticks and stones may break my bones”. this last message is for someone who looks to be an influencer/celebrity. make sure that the way you present yourself is true to you. don’t spend time trying to appeal to others. have some boundaries. don’t let people get too comfortable/allow them to use your status against you. you’re human as well.

cards used: five of cups. queen of wands. eight of cups. knight of cups. queen of swords. king of swords. six of cups.

extras: visa. rue. sacrificial lamb. body parts. moola.

pile three: this month will be exhausting for you, pile three. i’m not going to lie, you may have already had a rough start. for some of you, you could have been in a car accident, but by the end of the month, you will receive a hefty check. some of you could receive a refund check that will help you with all of the bills you’re drowning in. you will receive some unexpected financial assistance. if you are expecting to receive a student loan, you will finally be approved. some of you will finally be eligible for government assistance as well. do not be afraid to accept help from community members. you do not have to do it all alone. i see that you will have a breakthrough before you are finally blessed with the opportunity to receive. this month will test your faith but ultimately, you will receive everything you’ve been asking for. sometimes you just have to wait on it. for those of you on anxiety medication, you will finally feel the effects.

cards used: two of swords. the hanged woman. seven of swords. king of pentacles. the hierophant. ten of swords. ten of pentacles. nine of pentacles. four of swords.

extras: pure harmony. “excellence”. “say your goodbyes”. ain’t nobody got time for that. ohana means family.

[dilatorywriting]

Heroes vs. Villains : The Staff

Platonic GN!Reader x NRC Staff vs. RSA Staff Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Woe to the Ramshackle Prefect, being caught up in the drama between the Disney Villains and their respective heroes. NRC Staff Version (Part 1: Crewel and Crowley)

ie. Headmaster Crowley is a nightmare, and Professor Crewel is, well, cruel. And to be perfectly honest, after meeting another dog-loving professor who doesn't treat you like absolute garbage, the Royal Sword Academy is starting to look a lot more appealing.

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4]

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!’

Crowley had chirped that very sentiment to you ad nauseum, with all the enthusiasm of an old raven eyeing a shiny penny.

“Do you really believe that?” you sniffled, angry, as you sat slumped over in one of his rickety office chairs.

People at this stupid school were mean. And yeah, school yard insults and casual accusations of being the House Wardens’ little bitch were one thing—but these assholes would go right for the throat. All of your insecurities—your fears—all laid out like a nice spread of hors d'oeuvres ready for the picking. You had endured enough sharp barbs for a lifetime, and the fact that your glorious Headmaster and self-proclaimed parental figure kept writing it all off as a ‘learning experience’ was driving you mad.

“Of course I do, dear child!” he beamed. “What sort of educator would I be if I didn’t practice what I preach! Words are but the wind, as they say!”

You nodded, sage, and shot him a smile so sugary sweet it could rot the teeth right out of his skull.

“I wish I’d never met you and I hope that all your feathers fall off one by one,” you chirped. “And I use the ‘Number One Child’ mug you gave me to scoop water out of the toilets when the plumbing fails.”

Crowley’s mouth fell open with a nearly audible clunk, and if he weren’t so wrapped up in all kinds of immoral, black magic, bull-shittery, you would have liked to imagine that maybe that had been the sound of his heart cracking in his stupid, embroidery-covered, chest.  

You popped up from your chair and breezily made your way to the exit. You propped yourself up against the intricate, wooden, frame and clapped your hands together like a bubbly preschool teacher addressing a room full of particularly dull children.  

“I’m glad we could get that out in the open in a completely pain-free way. Words really can’t hurt anyone!”

You managed to slip the door closed just as he started to wail.

.

.

That afternoon you made your way to Professor Crewel’s office, as had become your routine. It was nice. Sometimes you would help him grade papers, sometimes you would just nibble on fancy cookies and listen as he ranted about the incompetence of certain staff members which shall not be named.

Sometimes his dogs were with him in the afternoons—a pair of giant, lithe, wolf-like beasts that were most certainly of a very proud and expensive lineage. Jasper was the black one and Badun the white, and each had a coat so glossy and well-maintained that they could put your own hair care to shame. Badun was enthusiastic, charismatic, and would bound to greet anyone who entered. Jasper was more quiet, reserved, but he was secretly your favorite of the duo. Whenever you stopped in after classes, the shadowy hound would lumber over and rest his giant head in your lap.

“No puppies today?” you called when you were greeted with silence rather than a wave of happy kisses.

“They’re in for their groom,” Crewel mumbled, busy at work with his head bowed over some lab reports or other. Normally he would grouchily correct you that his two precious pooches were adults. Dogs. And should be addressed as such. He must have been really distracted today. Or maybe you were just wearing him down.

You settled into the lovely, plush, chair off to the side that you had long since claimed as your own, and set your bookbag on the floor by your feet with a thump.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence with nothing but the sound of scratching ink over paper to break up the monotony, Professor Crewel dropped his head into his hands with a miserable sort of sigh.

“You should not have spoken to Crowley as you did.”

You blinked, startled. “What?”

“I of all people understand how frustrating the Headmaster’s antics can be,” Crewel continued, firm. “But you are still a student of this Institution—and one in a precarious enough position as it is. So you need to be mindful of your tongue.”

Indignation roiled through your gut, followed by a sharp prick of disquiet that you couldn’t quite place.

“Then he should be mindful to treat me like a student and not some—some pet project,” you huffed, kicking irritably at your patched backpack for want of nothing else to do. “And besides, what’ll he even do? Expel the one person in this entire college who mops up every single one of his messes? And I mean, it’s not like he’s running around the school crying or anything. I wasn’t that mean.”

Crewel pinched the bridge of his nose and you paused, mouth parting in surprise.

“Oh come on, he did not.”

“In the name of preserving our esteemed leader’s dignity I will say no more on the matter,” he grit out, and you fought the urge to immediately whip out your phone to message Ace, and Cater, and every other rabid gossip you could think of.

“Well, maybe he deserved it,” you snipped, crossing your arms stubbornly across your chest. A bit of cautious warmth spread through you and you nervously plucked at one of the loose threads on your uniform sleeve. “And besides,” you mumbled. "He can cry about me calling him a shitty father all he wants. You’ve been way more of a dad to me here than he could ever try to be.”

“I beg your pardon.”

You froze, fingers locking in place around the picked-apart edges of your jacket. The ice in his voice was unfamiliar and entirely unpleasant. It sent a frigid wave of worry curling through your veins. Had you overstepped? You’d thought—You’d just thought—

“I-I mean,” you spluttered. “I only meant that, well… Uhm… You’re really nice to spend time with. A-And, I just…” He made you feel like you were home again. Like even though Ramshackle was empty and cold, that you could still walk into this little office and say ‘I’m back!’ to an actual, real-life person and not just the shadows that lived in your foyer.

“Let me be perfectly clear, Prefect,” he sneered. There was an undercurrent of hostility running so sharply through every word that you were left wondering frantically if you’d unintentionally trampled over a sensitive topic. You hadn’t thought it was a big deal. You just—you just really, really looked up to him. And felt safe with him. And—And—

‘I’m sorry,’ you wanted to say. But instead you just let out an odd kind of choked squeak.

“I have no intention of playing parent to anyone,” he snapped. “Let alone an untrained brat who can’t even be bothered to play civil with the people who do attempt to care for them.”

Ouch.

“R-Right,” you spluttered, swallowing around the burbling lump in your throat and the warmth prickling along your lash line. “O-Of course. I’m sorry for assuming. I—I… uhm…”

‘I’ll just go then.’

But just like with failed apology, those four little syllables just couldn’t seem to make it past your lips either. So instead you just shakily snatched your bag from the floor and bolted from his office, burrowing your stinging cheeks as far into your collar as they would go. The last thing you needed to do was give anyone at this stupid school any more ammunition against you. And ‘Cry Baby Prefect’ sounded like another nasty nickname that would stick to you like gum to a flat-heeled shoe.

It’s fine, you whispered to yourself, voice wobbling far more than you would have liked. Grim hated when you came back smelling like dogs anyways.

.

.

“My goodness, are you alright?”

You blinked, harried, and glanced around yourself properly for what felt like the first time in hours. You were… not on campus anymore. Huh. What a trip. You’d never been so upset that you’d blindly run off into an entire new town before. But you supposed there was a first time for everything. You did remember feeling too nauseous to return to your little hovel for the evening, but you hadn’t really expected your frantic pacing to take you quite this far out of the way.

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

Oh. Someone was talking to you, weren’t they?

Standing in front of you was a tall, lanky, man in a tweed jacket. He was stooped down a bit to make eye contact with you, and those hazel eyes were creased with worry. His blonde hair was pushed half-off his forehead in a style that looked more haphazard than intentional, and the hand he was offering you was littered with splotches of ink. There were patches of white and black dog fur littered across his entire outfit like some horrible fashion statement, and the thought of puppies made your throat tighten up all over again.

“My name is Cliff Rogerson,” he said, steady and kind. “I’m one of the instructors at the Royal Sword Academy. Are you lost? Do you know how to get home from here?”

Do you know how to get home?

You laughed once, manic, and then promptly burst into tears.

“Oh, dear,” he sighed, his heavy brow furrowing low with concern, and patted you consolingly on the shoulder. “Oh, dear.”

You were herded into a nearby café and directed into one of the quiet, corner, booths. The lights were soft and fuzzy in here, and the pleasant warmth of fresh pastries brushed gingerly along your frayed nerves. Mister Rogerson pressed a steaming mug of hot chocolate into your hands, and placed a delicately wrapped muffin off to the side of it. It was a tempting offering, and you decided to unbury your head from your hands long enough to partake.

“So how did you end up out here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m a student at Night Raven,” you mumbled into your cocoa.

You could tell he was doing his best not to look shocked, which was at least a dozen steps above the way the rest of your stupid school would just gawk at you in outright consternation.

“Forgive me,” he smiled, gentling his apprehension into something that was more polite curiosity that anything. “But you don’t really seem like one of their usual pupils.”

So you explained your situation—the Mirror, and the magiclessness, and the homelessness. You talked about your friends, and your new demon cat/evil baby, and how much you missed stupid things like good shower pressure and fuzzy socks. Mister Rogerson listened to all of it with an attentive sort of sympathy that you hadn’t seen since, well, probably since you were dropped face-first into a school full of burgeoning war criminals.  

“That sounds like a time and a half,” he said once you’d finally tired yourself out. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that.”

You picked at your muffin. It was ridiculously fluffy and eating it felt like pulling bits and pieces out of a cloud. A very, very delicious cloud.

“Forgive me for saying so,” he hummed, pensive. “But your situation doesn’t sound particularly safe.”

You laughed. “That’s one word for it.”

Mister Rogerson frowned, another twitch of that uneasy worry playing across his face. He ruffled around in his jacket pocket for a moment and pulled out a neat, cream colored, business card.

“It may be overstepping of me to offer, but at the same time I do think as an educator it’s my duty to try and help every student that I can,” he smiled, kind. It crinkled the skin around his eyes. “The RSA is not overly far from Night Raven College. If you ever want to stop by—if you ever need an ear to listen, or just a space to get away from it all—my door will always be open to you.”

You took the little piece of paper carefully, like it was something precious. There were swirls of colorful music notes splattered across the backdrop of it—raucous bursts of neons that were as endearing as they were ugly.

‘Tacky,’ spat a too-familiar voice in the back of your head. ‘What sort of statement was this lowlife trying to make?‘ You could practically feel the phantom distaste emanating from wherever a certain two-toned professor had camped out for the evening.

Probably at home, you thought bitterly. Because he has a home, right? And you are not at all upset that you will never be welcomed into it. And that you will probably never get to cuddle his puppies ever again. Nope. Not at all.

You swallowed the little burst of unpleasantness that accompanied the train of thought, and pocketed the card with a smile.

“Thank you. I’ll definitely have to take you up on that.”

.

.

.

Divus Crewel was many things, and unfortunately, being as cruel as his namesake was often one of them. He glanced back to the clock ticking on his wall for what was perhaps the dozenth time that hour. You hadn’t been by since his—ah—outburst a few weeks prior.

He had perhaps reacted a bit more unpleasantly than he normally would have. You’d just… caught him off guard was all. It was a bold declaration you’d made, and what? Had you really expected him to be overjoyed by the idea of forced parenthood? To swoon over the notion that someone had decided to latch onto him and his perfectly pressed suit like a leech despite the fact that he was so obviously thriving in his life of solitude?

And it wasn’t that he expected you to take his biting comments lying down. Oh no. You were fierce, and determined, and were most likely on your way here to bang down his door demanding recompenses for all your suffering. There was a tray of those too-expensive cookies you liked tucked away in his top drawer. Just in case you did show up and throw one of your tantrums, and he needed something quick to pacify you. That… That was all.

But each day that he waited for you to sneak back into his office was another spent in quiet solitude. Badun had taken to whining at the door and Jasper hardly got up from his bed at all—just tucked his black nose into his equally black paws and stared straight into Crewel’s soul. Like he was judging him.

He caught himself glancing at the clock again and forcibly turned back to his work.

This was ridiculous. You were ridiculous. And stubborn. And so, very, danger prone. Had something happened maybe? Was that why you’d disappeared—because you’d gotten caught up in some sort of trouble again?

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick—

He looked back at the clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick—

His office door flew open with a BANG and he swiveled in his chair, ready to chastise you for making such a ridiculous entrance. Instead, he ended up nearly nose-to-nose with a weeping Dire Crowley. The man wailed into his clawed hands, looking very much like he might accidentally stab himself in the eye all the while.

“HOW AM I SUCH A FAILURE OF A PARENT?!” he bawled. “WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE TO PREVENT THIS?!”

“What?” Crewel gaped, head spinning. “What’s happened?”

Crowley let out another inhuman squawk and shoved a piece of parchment into the alchemist’s crimson-gloved hands. It was torn at the top, likely from where it’d been pinned to something before the raving Headmaster had swiped it. Crewel read over the familiar script with narrowed eyes, something unpleasant twisting in his belly.

‘The Ramshackle Prefect kindly sends their regards, but unfortunately has other commitments for this evening. Please contact Professor Cliff Rogerson of the RSA music department in case of an emergency.’

“MY BABY LEFT ME!” Crowley sobbed, nearly inconsolable. “WHO’S GOING TO DO MY TAXES NOW?!”

The leather of Crewel’s gloves groaned in protest as his hands tightened into fists—his nails biting into his palm even through the sturdy material.  

“What do we even do?” the old crow lamented, sounding so genuinely crestfallen it was almost unnerving.

Jasper and Badun circled their master’s ankles wearily, eyes bright and lips twitching with nervous whines.

“I think,” Crewel grit out, the note crumpling between his fingers, “that it’s well past time that we have a chat with the Prefect about the importance of personal safety. And of the consequences of running off with strangers.”

.

.

.

[seramilla]

(Have some fun with this one to make up for the buckets of angst I’ve dumped in the ask box :3)

Three months. It’s been three months since she was tossed into the training room and was essentially turned into a living training dummy. Lute yelped as she cashed into the floor again.

“Come on Lute!! Get up! Fight back!! If you’re really sorry then show me and fi-!”

“Oh fuck off already Vagina!! You aren’t the one dealing with demon limbs you bitch.”

She glared at Vaggie as her tail lashed about angrily.

“The only thing that we have in common is a missing eye!”

“So the wings don’t count?”

Lute let out a guttural growl at her the glared at the floor. She had discovered a fundamental change in her wings a month ago. She thought at first it might have been due to muscle atrophy due to her slow recovery. That was her initial thought until she had finished her first proper molt. Her strong and powerful falcon like wings were gone…replaced by loathsome raven wings.

“They aren’t the same…nothing is. You’re expecting me to fight like I used to when I can BARELY walk without tripping over these fucking demon bird legs! And do I even need to mention this obnoxious and annoying thing!?”

She holds up the disproportionate demonic left arm. She’d been using it mostly for blocking. It was so uncomfortable to use and felt like didn’t even belong to her. Lute blew some hair out of her face. It had grown past her shoulders now. She was pondering where to get some scissors when a sweet musical voice filled the air. Everything fluffed up knowing who owned it as she bolted and hid.

“Hey Vaggie! Carmilla said you would be here training so I brought you some water.”

“Thanks Em, did you want to give one to L-“

Vaggie turned to find her opponent had disappeared and smirked.

“Never mind just leave it by the door and tell Carmilla everything is fine.”

“Okay! I’m going to help Charlie at the hotel and whenever Lute comes in tell her I said hi.”

“Will do, don’t let Niffty set the kitchen on fire again!”

Emily huffs as she leaves.

“That was ONE time!!!”

Vaggie laughs as she slams the doors behind her. Then turns to the pillar with a tail poking out from behind it.

“She’s gone so you can come out now lover-girl.”

Vaggie blocked the wickedly fast strike from the clawed hand.

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!!!”

Vaggie continues dodging Lute's attacks, as the other former Exorcist keeps throwing her weight around and missing her.

“Admit it! You love Emily soooooo much! You want to kiss her and hug her and smooch her! Don’t lie! It’s written all over your silly love-struck face!”

The feathers around Lute's neck become ruffled and stand on end, as if she's trying to make herself look bigger and more intimidating to her opponent. She rushes Vaggie again, voice roaring and echoing off the walls of the training room.

“I AM LITERALLY GOING TO MURDER YOU, VAGINA!”

Vaggie easily side-steps Lute's attempted body slam, and backflips away as if the movement is nothing.

"How does the saying go?" Vaggie asks, placing her hand on her chin as if she's thinking very hard about the right words to use. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Are you like this with all girls you think are cute, or is it just Emily?”

Lute swipes at her again with her large clawed hand, but the attempt is futile and weak, as Lute has apparently lost all sense of coordination in her limbs with her blind fury.

“You know the only way I’m going to stop teasing you about this is if you just admit you like her," Vaggie says with a chuckle.

Feathers bristling even more, Lute appears as if she's had enough of being the butt of Vaggie's joke. She yanks a huge tower shield off the wall of the training room like it's nothing, and then hurls it across the room at Vaggie with her demon hand, like a child might throw a Frisbee at the park.

“What makes you think I’d admit ANYTHING to you?!” Lute screeches, sending the shield directly toward Vaggie's defenseless head. Vaggie doesn't hesitate, ducking and rolling out of the way as the shield crashes into the wall behind her, seeming to shake the entire compound with the impact.

“Hold the fucking phone! Time out!" Vaggie yells, holding her hands up in the universal sports sign for a pause. "That’s against the rules! This is hand-to-hand combat, remember? No weapons! And where the actual fuck did that show of strength come from??”

Lute isn't looking at Vaggie now, but down at her demon arm, flexing the oversized digits of the hand experimentally. She'd just picked up and thrown that shield without thinking about it. As if on pure instinct. As if she'd known ripping the decorative piece off the wall would be as simple as pie.

“I….I don’t know. I don't know what came over me.”

“Dios mio…” Vaggie says, rubbing her forehead to relieve some of the tension building behind her eyes. She looks at the shield and where it made contact with the wall, including the small crater now a permanent fixture on the wall's surface.

"Wait. Wait! I can fix this!" Lute says desperately. Lute runs over, picking up the shield from where it collided with the wall, and frantically moves back to try and reaffix it to its decorative plate. She does not want to incur Carmilla’s wrath today. “There! Good as new!”

Lute stands back, hands on her hips, admiring her work.

To her and Vaggie's dismay, the shield immediately falls off the wall again, this time knocking over a container full of spears, lances, and pole arms onto the floor in a heap.

"Oops..."

“Oh no, Mamá is gonna be pissed," Vaggie says, holding her hands to her face. "That was bolted down as decoration only!”

"Wait, what?" Lute asks, looking at Vaggie and completely forgetting the disaster strewn across the floor momentarily. The word Vaggie had just uttered is infinitely more interesting. "Mamá? Are you actually calling Carmilla your mother?!"

Vaggie blushes, and quickly tries to change the subject back to the important matter at hand. "Focus, lover girl! We need to clean up this mess now, before Carmilla gets back!”

"Holy shit!" Lute shouts, an honest-to-goodness cackle erupting from her throat. "You are!" Lute leans into the wall, pounding her smaller fist playfully into the smooth surface, as if this is the funniest thing she's ever heard in her life.

Vaggie's face flushes red. She's so embarrassed, the smoke coming from between her ears is almost palpable. She can practically feel it steaming like a smoke cloud above her head.

"Yeah? What about it? She basically opened up her home to us and feeds us! We spend more time here than at the actual hotel. She calls me mija and mi nina! Why shouldn’t I call her mom? I’ve never had one of those before! Heaven forbid, I want to know what that feels like!”

Lute is still wheezing. There are tears coming out of her eyes, which she wipes away with her oversized claw. Vaggie doesn't think she's ever seen Lute laugh so hard, in either Heaven or Hell, and finds it extremely inappropriate.

"Vaggie, come on...shut up and let me have this!" Lute chortles.

Vaggie, still fuming, starts to hurriedly gather her things into her shoulder bag, and throws it and the contents over her shoulder. She doesn't have to stay here, or put up with this. This is fucking Lute, for Satan's sake. Where does she get off demanding leniency?

“Since when have you ever let me have anything?" Vaggie asks, trying to hold back tears from her good eye. "I have a family now. People who love me! And so could you, if you'd just look beyond your own fear and ego to let a good thing happen for once!”

“Hey! Vaggie, that’s not fair—!”

“What’s not fair is me letting you off the hook again because Charlie taught me to be nice and shit," Vaggie bites back, completely done with playing Lute's games. "Bye, Lute. See you later.”

"Wait!" Lute shouts back, angelic arm reaching for her old comrade, in disbelief at Vaggie's change in demeanor. Lute fumbles for what to say. "You can't hold that over my head! At least you have a family! As if I could ever have something like that, anyway!"

Lute goes quiet again, voice trailing off as she stares at the large, oversized claws of her demon hand. Then she looks back to the mess she made; the one with the pile of disheveled weapons on the ground, as if it's the perfect metaphor for the absolute disaster she's made of her life. Her tail drags as she walks sluggishly over to the weapons on the floor. She picks up the barrel, sets it upright, and tries to fix the shield again.

“Sorry…" Lute starts, voice much queter and more forlorn than before. "I just haven’t had a good laugh like that since…ever, really. It was nice to be able to just…you know…let it out for once.”

Vaggie turns around, away from the doorway and facing the inside of the training room again, readjusting her gear bag on her shoulder to look back at Lute.

“That’s your problem, Lute. Yours to fix. You still haven’t learned how to derive pleasure from anything other than putting people down. Adam is gone, but you’re still here, relying on his old coping mechanisms. I’m sorry for teasing you. But you could have a family, too, if you’d just give Emily a chance. She doesn’t give a shit what you look like. She makes excuses to come see you every day, and all you do is hide.”

Lute has already started putting the other weapons back in the barrel. She sighs, setting one of the heavy weapons down, and turning back to Vaggie.

“I don’t deserve her...she deserves better than me. I already fucked up her life, and I don’t want to ruin it again. That's what I do; I ruin things…myself included. I don’t know how I’m supposed to even fix myself… Dammit…I’m trying to be better, but I keep fucking it up!”

Lute's vision blurs with tears. She grabs a handful of feathers from her demon arm out of instinct; it had taken her weeks to stop obsessively pulling them out. But she doesn’t pull them out this time, and Vaggie considers that a small, silent victory.

“Don’t make me have to get Carmilla," Vaggie warns, and Lute lets go of her feathers. "You fucked a lot of shit up, lover girl. Me included. But if you hadn’t, I never would have found Charlie. Good things can rise from the ashes of the bad choices. But nothing is going to change unless you open yourself to the possibilities. You lose every shot you don’t take. And frankly, I hate this chastising version of yourself. Shit’s fucking depressing. I want the badass lieutenant back. The one who used to beat my ass to a pulp during drills.”

Before turning to leave, Vaggie looks back at Lute, and tries to offer her an olive branch, of sorts.

“You still need to beat me before I’ll forgive you. That was our deal. But Emily is an open book. She’s changed a lot for the better. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you just set the record straight and admit you have feelings for her.”

Out of nowhere, a water bottle beans Vaggie right in the face.

“STOP CALLING ME LOVER GIRL, DAMMIT!" Lute shouts. "JUST BECAUSE I THINK SHE’S CUTE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN TEASE ME ABOUT IT!”

It takes Lute all of 10 seconds to realize what she'd just admitted to Vaggie, and suddenly, her face is infused with red. When she sees the smug cat-like grin spread across Vaggie's face, she shouts after the other Exorcist, “No…don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you DARE tell her I--”

Vaggie bolts.

“YOU MOTHERFU--!”

Neither of them get far. Lute is hot on Vaggie's heels, tripping over her own tail in her bid to capture her fellow angel before she can spread her embarrassing, shameful news. Then out of nowhere, Vaggie slams directly into Carmilla, and then Lute into Vaggie's back, as they nearly topple all over each other onto the floor.

"Oh...he--hey, Mamá!" Vaggie says, waving sheepishly. Lute drags herself off of Vaggie, looking away in shame. "How's it going?"

Carmilla has that tell-tale expression of hers plastered all over her face from the jump. She cranes her neck to peer around the pillar and into the training room, laying witness to the absolute chaos that is the pile of weapons strewn liberally across the floor.

“Magnificent, girls," she says, never once losing that calm, confident demeanor. "I just found out I have some new clients dropping by this afternoon to draw up a new manufacturing contract. I would hate for them to get a bad impression based on the current state of my facilities. Wouldn’t you?”

Vaggie and Lute swallow heavily. They both know that expression. Carmilla doesn't have to tell them what to do, because they already know what will happen if they don't follow instructions and right this perceived wrong. Immediately, without even being asked, they begin to clean up the impromptu mess, shouting back at her in tandem, “Yes, Carmilla! We’re sorry! We’ll clean up right away!”

“Good girls," Carmilla says with a smile. Just another eventful day at the Carmine estate, Carmilla thinks, before turning around, and making her way back to the lobby to wait for her visitors.

This is based on a conversation me and @xellas-the-wanderer had last night. I've edited for formatting and consistency's sake.

[dndadspolls]

Hello there ! I'm Aether (it/its) ! You can find me on my main, @justablah56 I just thought it'd be fun to have dndads specific polls, so why not do it myself ?

this post will be constantly updating , so if you want to keep up with what's happening make sure to check in here every once in a while !

all current poll information will be above the cut, and then general rules for this blog will be below !

the current poll is : favorite dndads quote , which is open for submissions until September 22 at 11:59 pm MST :]

CURRENT SUBMISSIONS :

"I want a snickerdoodle and to die" - Hermie

"Paeden's eight, DAWG!" - Henry

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me" - Ron/Rhianna

"Measure once, cut twice" - Glenn

"Let's just piss in his open mouth" - Taylor

"Light me like a French man" - Tony

"I notice you guys are eating tater tots, uh, I'm a businessman myself" - Ron

"Darryl I can say with complete confidence I wish I could die too" - Ron

"Yeah, I'm a doctor. *throws ax* " - Da Rul/Darryl

"It's so books!" - Password door

"I see that you're a bird, I'm a spider myself" - Ron

"Laugh at my joke dammit. Stool!" - Darryl

"Shhh, just let the yeast do it's thing..." - Taylor

"Smell that? That's fungus!" - Normal

“How would you like it if someone ripped off your skin without your consent?” - Henry

“It’s okay to be angry, it’s not okay to be cruel” - Henry

“Those least likely to lead who want to lead are the best leaders” - Link/Matt

“Is what you said it will work” - Darryl/Matt

“I silence his dumbass with a kiss!!” - Henry

"The greatest strength is not in violence. It's in loving people and also being a wolf. So that's going to be my new thing that I'm psyched about." - Sparrow

"Because you're the glue, Norm!" - Scary

"What the freakin ding dang gosh darn willy nilly heckin shark tooth banana chicanery hootin tootin raspberry freaking fuck are you two doing here!" - Henry

"Heh." - Glenn

"Heh." - Taylor

"Heh." - Tony

"Heh." - Freddy

"You chose wood, Ron" - Darryl

"I'm very fast!" - Cookie (fetch quest)

"My son's name is not glark, Darryl." - Henry

"That flimflam man, Scam Likely made off with our dough!" - Henry

"As you turn and look at him, he's already moving like a calzone." - Anthony

"Goblin on DEEZ NUTS!" - Glenn

"To where, Ron?" - Darryl after Ron suggested they build a bridge during the four knights arc

“Just remember, I'm very tall. And I don't sound like it, but I am tough, and my voice will sound tough at some point." - Lincoln

“I love my parents, I love my spouses, but love’s not real, so I feel nothingggg.” - Lincoln (in a sing-song-y voice)

"It's a rookie mistake to intentionally fall asleep during a fight." - Taylor (?)

"I had so many other plans for this episode." - Anthony

"I just- Am I... enough?" - Scary

"Y'know, I- I was just kidding when I asked for a hug." - Scary

"I'm an Asian baby???" - Lincoln

"Father! The afterlife? It is dark." - Lark

"We're married now, dude." - Lincoln

“That’s our relationship status? Enemies til the end?” - Lincoln

"Women can be women!" - Beth/Trudy

“You can be polyamorous in space!” - Anthony

“Sir if I have a sin beyond saying the B Word, it's that I love gos.” Normal

“I have an unhappy marriage and an unhappy son. The only thing I live for is busting commies." - Big Shane

“We have to kill it” / “We have to help it” - Lark / Norm

"He didn't burn down the entire school, the fire damage was limited to one or two classrooms." "I'll do better next time!" - Henry and Sparrow

"And i throw the cop... at the nerd!" Da Rul/Darryl

“Fuck you Anthony we’re Spider Boys!” - Will

"Confucius say a-measure once cut-a twice." - marlon brando as glenn close

"Riding a horse broke my hymen." - Erica Drippins

"44 damage." "Okay, cool, so what does that do to you?" "It damaged me 44..." - Beth and Anthony

each poll will have 3 days of submissions, and then each round will last a day. after the poll finishes I'll reblog with the winner , then the next day there'll be another poll to pick the next competition and so on and so forth :3

in general , I try to have the polls start around 3pm MST , and submissions always end at midnight , also MST .

poll submissions are always open , so if at any time you have a poll you'd think would be fun feel free to send it in !

any poll we've done previously is fair game , there are quite literally no limits for what polls you can submit , so send in your ideas !

current poll submissions :

aroallo

ace

best Lincoln fact

best Taylor fact

best Jodie fact

favorite s2 episode

favorite catch phrase

favorite s1 episode

best Henry Fact (rerun)

best ship name

favorite ship (rerun)

favorite crackship

autism swag (rerun)

least favourite unpopular/niche ship

least favorite popular/canon ship

least favorite poly ship

least favorite s1 character

least favorite s2 character

most iconic duo

biggest third wheel

most functional marriage

favorite nationality/decent headcanon

favorite disability headcanon

favorite intro

best peachyville character

trans swag (rerun)

favorite non-poly niche/unpopular ship

kiddads’ favourite bands/artists

s2 teens’ favourite bands/artists

s1 dads’ favourite bands/artists

if any poll submission gets three or less votes in the poll to pick our next competition , it will get moved to the bottom of the list :]

propaganda is 100% welcome ! feel free to send an ask or bribe via art requests, and if you make a post just tag me and I'll reblog it here tagged with " *poll* propaganda" if your propaganda is in a reblog , make sure you write it on the post rather than the tags if you want it reblogged here !

I don't just post polls on this acc ! I also reblog fanart , fandom events , and other polls including dndads characters! for fanart I use the tags "not a poll" and "fanart" , for events I use "fandom events" , and for other polls I use the tag "not my polls" , so if either of those are things you don't want to see , feel free to block those tags :]

Previous polls (as of our come back in February ! )

best Normal Fact : ep29 - he is the most published author in the teen high fanfiction tag on ao3

favorite headcanon : Taylors sword cane is his mobility aid for his balance issues that come and go

best Glenn fact : Glenn still considers himself married to Morgan even though she's dead

best npc : Terry Jr Stampler

best non-song intro: ep27 - Glenn and Ron on shark tank for the elevator button

funniest npc name : Sexcallibur Horsepower

favorite character headcanon: Taylor's sword cane is a mobility aid

best s1 arc : going through Ron's memories/Ron's anchor

favorite niche/unpopular ship : polywagon (Normal x Taylor x Lincoln x Scary)

biggest saddest eyes : Dood

best Daryl fact : ep16 - his favorite part of being a father is when babies wake up confused until they see you and smile (this is also Matt’s favorite part of being a father)

favorite gender/sexuality headcanon : closeted gay Tony Collete

best Scary fact : ep??? - she once punched a hole in the wall and blamed it on Terry's plant

favorite song intro : s2 ep37 - the all star parody

favorite poly ship : Lincoln x Hermie x Normal x Scary x Taylor (polywagon)

coolest npc name : Sexcalibur Horsepower

funniest guess for Will's middle name : William [beep noise] Campos

if you want to know who won what before the hiatus , you can find those here !

if you have any questions about the blog in general or anything else , feel free to send in an ask and I'll do my best to answer it !

[lovingly-dedicated]

Marxolor Week '24 Day 3

Today's Prompts: Cunning / Magic

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words and energy blasts hit harder... All posts with "Day 3" (or Wildcards) will be reblogged!

Links:

Prompt List

Rules

Prompt Guide

[foxydivaxx]

Idol Sanji headcanons part 2

- He has multiple personas which you can see in his songs:

Mr Prince (yes that Mr Prince): His default persona. His pop star persona who is sweet but also dangerous and sexy in a cold calculated manner

King Nasty: his inner slut. This is the persona most people are familiar with

Brooklyn Rage: This is his inner gangster. Like if he is in this mode, bitch run

- He has the foulest mouth of the Strawhats. He is rapper no surprises

- He enjoys being a bratty sub which makes Zoro’s work even harder

- He has a lot of sex toys hidden in his room

- He has a lot of cars

- He shakes his ass a lot xD

- Zoro is more than his baby daddy and lover. He is his best friend

- He is worse than Nami in regards to the love of money. Yeah he loves the cash

- He was once a stripper during his younger years and did that to hustle for money

- He deep down does not value himself

- He often masturbates to videos and photos of Zoro

- He always does the more sluttier photoshoots

- He started smoking at the age 12 as a coping mechanism

- He loves clubbing

- According to Lelouch, Sanji had the highest grades of all the trainees under their label years ago and he was the most popular trainee at the time

- He is the member of Aogiri with the most collaborations for obvious reasons

- He suffered from an eating disorder that would later rebound during his idol years

- He used to hate his looks and body and wondered why anyone would want him. Still struggles with that today

- He and his dad both released albums on the same day. He ended up outselling the old man which greatly angered Judge

- He does not use the Vinsmoke name. Instead he uses his mother’s maiden name as his surname

-He sees Luffy and Chopper as his little brothers

-All those moans and orgasms he does in his songs? Those are not fake according to him. According to him, he masturbates in the studio to create those sounds

-He is an ATL dude due to spending most of his time growing up there even though he was born in New York but moved down to ATL with Zeff with his siblings

-His mother got shot by his dad when he was 3 years old. He rapped about this, literally destroying his dad and exposing the truth about the old man and destroying his reputation and ending Judge's career. A lot of people mock Judge, saying that his son is more gangster than he is. Judge has tried to hurt Sanji but his plans always backfire

- His mother was a pop star and was in a famous girl group before launching a successful musical career. So Sanji inherited all his talent from his parents but he got his mother’s looks, kindness and charisma

-He has been a victim of domestic and sexual abuse, first at the hands of his dad and later a lot of his exes

-Jojo's villain club are huge fans of his

-In fact every single villain you could think of love this guy to the point where many consider his songs "The Ultimate Villain Playbook." since he tends to play a villainous role in his songs since the character he seems to exude is a sexy evil Homme fatale

-As far as he is concerned, he is an all round entertainer. All that matters is that everyone has fun

-He was and still is the main moneymaker and breadwinner for the family for years because Ichiji unfortunately got shot but survived whilst selling newspapers on the streets

-The biggest scandal involving Sanji was an old sex tape of his from his stripper days resurfacing online. Pudding leaked it thanks to Judge but the plan backfired as that sextape made him even more popular than ever as it helped cement Sanji's sex symbol status

-He has the video with the highest amount of views on YouTube thanks to said sex tape scandal (Might as well add this to my fanfic)

- Don’t even dare try to sabotage him and his friends. He will destroy you

- There was one part in one of his songs that more or less defines him as a person:

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But I am no lazybones,

Motherfucker left me for dead,

Yet I still stand,

You asked me why I do this shit?

This life goes way beyond making hits,

Started off as a poor weakling,

These days I answer to the name King

- He has a tattoo on his back close to his ass and has one on his ankle

- Sanji’s character’s stance towards women and feeding others is a reflection of real life Sanji’s past. The guy has been a victim of abuse for years and also his character’s interactions with women in the show is as a result of the things women like Pudding had done to him in the past

- He loves leather especially leather catsuits and wears those a lot

- During his Aogiri days, Sanji was not Sanji without his famous round shaped glasses. So many young idols would later emulate the style for years to come. Also his signature leather catsuits have made apperances in a variety of videos ever since

-He looks just like his mother

[simeons-hips]

Your Highness, I would humbly request an obey me ass comparison post.

ANYTHING FOR MY LOYAL SUBJECTS _(┐「ε:)_

obey me brothers in order from phatest to flatest ass

1. Beel

do NOT i repeat DO NOT slap his ass. if you see him laying on his front and feel the urge to lay your head to rest on his seemingly inviting cheeks- RESIST IT MY BROTHER IN CHRIST !!!! your head will go ‘konk’ and your bones will all break. beel’s ass is made of stone, absolute solid konkreate, don’t let the size fool you. (literally 2 watermelons size-wise)

2. Mammon

only other brother with a noticeably large badonkadonk. good muscle to fat ratio. when he wears booty shorts they look so good on him you can sense asmo seething from the other side of the room. his underwear magazine covers always sell out. if you grab his ass he shoots up through the roof and you’ll have to pay for damages.

3. Belphie

softest cheeks by far. get him to wear fuzzy pants and congratulations you have acquired the most comfortable pillow ever. (tries to convince u to body swap so he can feel what it’s like) if he shakes his hips hard enough you can audibly hear his cheeks clap. has only done this once in order to mimic footsteps to confuse a chasing lucifer on which way he went.

4. Lucifer

average tier ass. it’s a butt. he shits out of it. his dress pants don’t do wonders for him but it always looks nice. always clenched in anxiety but is a nice ratio to the rest of his body. the renaissance artists that sculpted him may have exaggerated a bit. has more ass hair than you’d think

5. Asmo

he…he has….. a flat ass. IK ASMO NATION IT HURTS its so tragic but so true. he refuses to get fillers but every once in a while he gets tempted. it’s not that obvious at first glance cuz he knows how to dress. plus he’s always sticking his booty out anyways like, spiritually he has the phattest ass of them all. o7

6. Levi

go girl give us nothing !!! okay to be fair, since he’s sedentary, it does jiggle as he walks. his pants are usually baggy but you can catch it. tuckus lacks muscle but feels like play dough so who’s to say he isn’t caked up. (six pack levi was a mass hallucination he doesn’t exist) disappears after you touch it because he does in fact Die after that happens.

7. Satan

we’ve all seen the official chat art. this man’s ass rivals binder paper. greedy ass lucifer couldn’t even spare some cheek it’s all bone but it’s well sculpted !! but then those pants absolutely do not help the cause in fact they actively shrink his cheeks because they are so ugly someone dress this man first then we’ll speak of asshancements

[itsamenickname]

Sticks and Stones May Break the Bones, But Words and Actions Can Destroy a Man's Self-Worth

The story you are about to read on Ao3 has been something I've been wanting to write for at least a few months now. While I will warn that it might not be as polished or fleshed-out as my current fanfic, I still wanted to take the time to write this story and share it with all of you because working on To Break the Bonds Within Two Kingdoms (TBTBWTK) for the past year (+2-3 months) has been such a fun and wonderful adventure that I would not trade for anything else.

And if you haven't already, please, PLEASE be sure to check out both @deckof-dragons/@anomander-dragnipurake and @jelixpo's blogs. They are the ones who have inspired me to write TBTBWTK in the first place, so please be sure to take some time today to see all of the amazing fanfics/drawings they have done.

Thank you all for joining me on my Bowuigi adventure. :) Whether you found me on Ao3 or on here, I appreciate each and every single one of you taking the time to read my stories and I hope to see you in the final chapter of TBTBWTK. :)

🎉🎂 Happy 1st Birthday To Break The Bonds Within Two Kingdoms!!!🎂🎉

💚🧡💜❤️🩷

(Trigger Warning!: the story you are about to read is going to have a serious topic (i.e. off-screen/mentions of sui attempt) that may unease or disturb some readers. If this serious topic make you uncomfortable, please do not read this story! Stay safe everyone and please don't ever forget that there are people in this world who love the wonderful and unique human being that you are. 🩷🩷🩷)

[illmetbymoonlight]

Thanks to @simonxriley for the tag 🖤

RULES: post 5 songs associated with your oc, followed by 3 outfits they would wear

Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time

Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

Came Back Haunted - Nine Inch Nails

Everywhere now reminding me

I am not who I used to be

I'm afraid this has just begun

Consequences for what I've done

Fairly Local - twenty one pilots

I'm not evil to the core

What I shouldn't do I will fight

I know I'm emotional

What I want to save I will try

I know who I truly am

I truly do have a chance

Tomorrow I'll switch the beat

To avoid yesterday's dance

Scream Where My Heart Should Be - 8MM

I am what you say I'm not

A ghost of bone doomed to haunt

I am doomed to haunt

There's a scream where my heart should be

Deer In Headlights - Sia

I'm falling apart and I can't take anymore

Standing at the crossroads

There's no right answer, no one's brain to pick

Under the spy

There's no escaping, I'm a deer caught in headlights

S&M - Rihanna

'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But chains and whips excite me

A Pain That I'm Used To - Depeche Mode

I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore

I just know that I'm harder to console

I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me

But the key is a question of control

Did My Time - Korn

Sometimes I can never tell

If I've got something after me

That's why I just beg and plead

For this curse to leave me

Tell me why am I to blame?

Aren't we suppose to be the same?

That's why I will never tame

This thing that's burning in me

Something I can Never Have - Flyleaf (Originally Nine Inch Nails)

You always were the one to show me how

Back then, I couldn't do the things that I can do now

This thing is slowly taking me apart

Grey would be the color if I had a heart

Pray For Me - The Weeknd feat. Kendrick Lamar

I'm always ready for a war again

Go down that road again

It's all the same

I'm always ready to take a life again

You know I'll ride again

It's all the same

Tell me who's gon' save me from myself

When this life is all I know

Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine (Originally Chris Isaak)

The world was on fire and no-one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love

Tag List (add yourself) @cyberneticsanguinaire @theelderhazelnut @sinclxirx and whoever else wants to 🖤 (sry this is so late and sry if you already done it)

[celticbotanart]

I'll be Glazing everything I post from now on, so expect the image quality kinda drop a little because Glaze be like that unfortunately.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but all thieves and corporations may suck my dick <3

[gatekeeper-watchman]

Daily Devotionals for March 7, 2024 

Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living

Devotional Scripture:

Proverbs 10:31-32(KJV): 31 The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out. 32 The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness. Proverbs 10:31-32(Amplified): 31 The mouth of the righteous (those harmonious with God) brings forth skillful and godly Wisdom, but the perverse tongue shall be cut down (as a barren and rotten tree). 32 The lips of the (uncompromisingly) righteous know (and therefore utter) what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked knows (and therefore speaks only) what is obstinately willful and contrary.

Thought for the Day

Verses 31-32 - When I was young, children would often quote the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." After studying the Bible, I realize that this OLD AGE adage is not true. Derogatory names and harsh words are harmful, both to the person addressed and the speaker. Words are powerful. Lawyers use powerful words to build cases. Our nation's laws consist of volumes of words. National treaties are formed by words. Words announce the daily news and enable us to communicate with each other. God used words to create the universe, speaking everything into existence (Genesis 1). The Bible is the Word of God. Jesus Himself is referred to as the living Word (John 1:1). Words are powerful!

God's Word has much to say about how we should speak. Biblically, praying for God's blessing or speaking good and uplifting words to someone is referred to as blessing. Speaking evil against someone or wishing ill toward them is referred to as cursing. "Curse words" or "cussing" originated from speaking evil words. Profanity is using God's Name in vain or speaking irreverently of Him. It ranges from mild expletives to horrible blasphemies. Society accepts foul language as normal. Popular films and television programs depict it as a way to vent anger or verbally assault others. Such use demonstrates that cursing is wrong because it demeans others. Jesus said that cursing points to evil in the heart. It is common today for both men and women to curse and never consider it as an indication of evil in their hearts. They view it as inconsequential, as something everyone does. Scripture teaches that this "little" matter of cursing and using God's Name in vain defiles the whole person.

Have you ever wondered why people do not use the names of gods of other religions when they curse? The names that the devil hates are "God," "Christ," "Jesus Christ," and "Jesus." Terms about hell and heaven are also used in derogatory ways. The very misuse of these words proves the existence of God and the reality of a heaven and hell. Neither adults nor children should use bad language, if we are to be like our Lord. We do not have to use curse words to emphasize our intentions (Colossians 3:8; Matthew 5:37).

Proverbs states that God accepts the words of the righteous, but the words of the wicked will one day be cut off, along with those who speak them. "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14).

Prayer Devotional for the Day

Dear Father, thank you for all that You have done for me. Lord, I ask You to forgive me for failing You. Lord, I want my words to be like Your Words. Lord, You never speak any unkind thing. You are gentle and loving. Your Words are always the truth. We can depend on You and trust that what You said is the truth. You never lie. Lord, may I be good for my word? Help me not to give it lightly, and when I do tell someone, I will do something, remind me if I fail to keep my word so I can make it right. In our society, it seems that so many, especially in the business world, are very careless about their words. Help me to be a witness for You as one that keeps their word even as You do. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

From: Steven P. Miller @ParkermillerQ,  gatekeeperwatchman.org Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups, Thursday, March 7, 2024, Jacksonville, Florida., USA.  X ... @ParkermillerQ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981 Founder on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA

[you-need-not-apply]

"flesh and bones may break my stones but sticks will never words me"

"have u had meds today?"

"i dont have those?"

"u need them"

"idk maybe, but that'd require me to go to like, a doctor or something, and that would require me to go outside"

"vampire"

"again, idk, maybe, i havent ever drunk someones blood, but that also might be why im iron deficient"

"maybe drink some blood idk"

"that would require me to get near a people. and theyre scary"

"drink ur own- wait no dont do that... got any irls?"

"to quote me from line 3 of this conversation "i dont have those?""

"uhhh find some?mB?"

"to quote me from line 9 of this conversation "that would require me to get near a people. and theyre scary""

"Okay fair but have you tried catfishing people to get blood?"

"what is that?"

"Well first you need a river and a fishing rod"

"weve got a bunch of fishing rods i think, but no rivers nearby"

"Do you have a large body of water?"

"my body is rather large but its only like 60% water i think"

"Have you checked other places for large bodies of water?"

yeah, ive looked around the house but we dont seem to have any

Well shit have you tried Google maps?

[lightfromthelighthouse]

Good Morning!☀️

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:[20]For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. The childhood rhyme "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" could not be more wrong.

More correct is the adage "Loose lips sinks ships"!

Thus both sacred scriptures and life wisdom cautions us to be careful in our speech.

The right words at the right time are like apples of gold. The wrong words at any time can do much harm. Our so called "righteous indignation" is often no more than our anger unbridled, and it will never bring about God's righteousness.

We would be wise to make this our prayer:

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Palms 141:3