#Nothing new just Leif being Leif I guess

[duusheen]

The funeral

[maldito-arbol]

I really liked the new chapter! I was super excited when I found that you’ve updated the story!

First of all, Marcy’s struggles and recovery after the traumatic incident at the castle. Poor girl. She’s dealing with a lot of stuff and it never seems to be enough because new problems and questions emerge and she is so done with the tons of responsibilities. I think her argument with Olivia and Yunan was excellent to show that their newt guardians were in the wrong to think they were hurting her just because they were still with each other despite their issues while Marcy has Anne in a coma and she doesn’t even know Sasha is in danger too. She felt as if all this unwanted attention was their way to make amends when they could’ve talked things through without involving her. At least Marcy was a good advisor about relationships with Yunan, let’s hope she and Olivia can get along better for Marcy’s sake.

Marcy and Sprig’s bonding time was so sweet. It was nice that both could understand each other and their frustrations for being expected to feel better when they just want to sulk and let all those negative emotions out. To feel them to not be repressed by them. Poor kids, they have gone through a lot.

Another thing I liked about this Marcy-centered chapter is that despite the rift between her and Sasha, she still loves her and tells Witney that people that love each other sometimes makes mistakes but that doesn’t end their love for one another. That there is still time to fix things between them and be together again. And she wants to believe Sasha will come back eventually. Oh boy, who’s going to tell her that Barrel is taking the wheel of Sasha’s body and schemed Grime’s death?

There is also Marcy’s interactions with Wit, Heart, and the Plantars and Sundews, even if the last ones are a bit shorter. I super loved the scene with the memory libraries and how different is Marcy’s from the others because she deeply loves Anne and Sasha, that’s her center. And being trusted to read the memories of Wit who’s so adverse to talk about her past, Wit is making a lot of progress in being more honest and thoughtful with Marcy which is great though she still has some obstacles to overcome like the deep issues with her past and her relationship with the gems. Talking about relationships, it was surprising that Marcy gave Heart of all people some advise. I was even surprised that instead of Anne waking up it was Heart possessing her body to stretch her muscles and kept it in good shape. At least Heart is sincere with their apologies and accepting the consequences of their actions; they are growing so fast :,). I love that you have given also space for Marcy-Maddie and Marcy-Ivy relationships to develop. Even when Maddie and Marcy have more in common, it was nice seeing Ivy and Maddie getting along with her and helping her as much as they could. I bet Marcy will see some similarities between Sprig, Maddie, and Ivy with her relationship with Sasha and Anne. These three frogs are their Wartwood companions if they had landed on the town from the start.

Last but not least, the mystery! Maddie now is involved in the mess that is the ominous past life of the gems! Wish you luck, Maddie. You will need it. Who knows what her ancestor and Leif have done that has had huge repercussions on Heart’s life. I bet more surprising encounters and truths will be revealed once Marcy gets Heart to speak and to help her find Wit. And the journal of Barrel is also important in this mess too. Oh boy, the chaos Anne will find once she wakes up. Though that will be nothing compared to what she and Marcy will find when they return to Newtopia.

Guess who’s finally answering these

Yes! Marcy is going through a lot still, which was the whole point of settling her back into Wartwood where she can take some time to process by herself. Yunan and Olivia unfortunately didn’t seem to get the memo, as they are too focused on how their own presence can affect Marcy rather than realizing maybe she just wants to be left alone. What she needs is support, not interference. She’s smart enough to understand that this pain will not go away so easily and take steps to deal with it as is. She’ll get back on her feet, and she knows this, but her Newt parents don’t. They think they need to stick their hands in everything she needs so they can be good parents, but clearly it isn’t working. Worse yet, they’re acting this way when they’re having troubles in their relationship too, which is the most awful combination imaginable for Marcy right now. Props to her for actually nudging their relationship in a good direction though, she could have made the problem worse so, so easily. And I wouldn’t even blame her either—but Marcy is too kind of a person to sabotage her friends’ relationship because she’s a little sad. Last fun fact is that this was one of the sections of chapter 7 that took the longest to write because I was struggling so hard on where to go with it. The only way I was able to push through was to make the situation Worse than it originally was. Oops.

I was super excited to give Marcy and Sprig a moment, as they haven’t really had the time to talk one on one since like, IBYBF 1. They’re in about exactly the same position right now, missing their loved one and attempting to grapple with all the different feelings about her comatose state. Sprig was a major player in confronting Anne’s breakdown during Heart’s torment and her recovery afterwards, so you can see why he’s beyond frustrated with the world for cutting that progress short and possibly sending it backward a thousand steps. He has no idea how this whole ordeal will affect Anne going forward, and he won’t know until she wakes up, so it’s just some waiting game. Meanwhile Marcy sees this whole coma thing as a blessing in disguise, purely because being asleep means Anne didn’t have to deal with any of the shitstorm that happened in Newtopia. And though she misses her very much, she understands that waking up there might’ve actually been a worst-case-scenario. I have mulled over this whole coma plot point for months upon months because it is such a massive detour from the original version of the story I had outlined. Like Marcy’s thoughts on the situation, I have also found it to be something of a blessing in disguise. I needed some kind of way to bar Anne from interfering with the regression of Sasha and Marcy’s relationship. Had she been present, or had she been absent in some different way, then this storyline would have looked much different. As the sasharcy downfall is kind of their own issue, between just them two, it helped that Anne could have a completely different set of troubles she’d need to face by herself. And you’ll see how it goes when she tries to involve herself with Sasha and Marcy’s issue later. Maybe you should stay asleep, Anne.

Marcy at her core is a character that loves Anne and Sasha. That’s who she is. Who she’s always been. You can see a little bit of her losing sight of who she is when she starts resenting Sasha during the whole Core incident, but she regains herself when she really stops and thinks. Yeah, sometimes big fights can make you think you really hate someone for that brief moment. But if you love them, if you love them like Marcy loves Sasha and Anne, you can work things out and grow together. Marcy realizes that Sasha’s very much in the wrong here, which is why it’s not her own responsibility to bring Sasha back. But her arms are always open for Sasha to return. This is something Witney has been grappling with for a while. Ever since Marcy suggested that the lava leaks may not be intentional, she’s had to reevaluate her entire relationship with Strength. Was it solely responsible for all the problems that exist between the three gems now? Is he being too unfair to Strength when Heart has done their fair share of awful things? Witney is also a character that loves her fellow gems, and he’s lost sight of that because Heart has poisoned her view on Strength with their own resentments. If she can forgive Heart, then by god he must reconsider the way he treats Strength. Perhaps holding her arms open for it to return is just what they all need.

While Witney and Marcy’s relationship has developed to a more trusting level over the course of CMTO in general, I kinda feel like the biggest factor for Witney being more open with her is that Marcy has escaped the clutches of the collar that previously took all her amphibian vessels, and she did it twice. Witney’s like, “wow you really must not like to die. Guess I should tell you my life story then.” They’ve largely broken away from the whole ‘vessel’ and ‘gem’ separation and are now becoming genuine friends, which is the wonderful progression that resulted from Marcy insisting that Witney is, in fact, a person. Obviously there’s still a ways to go, but we’re getting there!

Oh my GOD I was SO excited to include the Marcy and Heart interactions! The whole “needing to stretch Anne’s muscles” is very much an excuse for this but if it works it works. I NEEDED there to be some kind of resolution between Heart and Marcy in order for Heart to truly step into the start of their redemption arc. Apart from Anne, Marcy has been dealt the most suffering at the hands of the blue gem (out of the non-gems at least). She’s been choked half to death three times by this motherfucker, to say nothing of how she lost her whole eye to them. Obviously Marcy’s not going to forgive them for what they did to her or Anne, but she also understands that these gems are part of them now, and she’ll have to deal with Heart perhaps until the end of her life, and she’d rather it be a tolerable companionship. Heart on the other hand wants to make things up to Anne, so getting along with Marcy is a huge part of that. While they may have different reasons for needing to be on good terms, they have that in common—it is entirely beneficial to both of them to be on good terms. But, that doesn’t mean it won’t be rocky. Marcy still harbors resentment towards Heart for their previous actions, and Heart still has a lot of terrible mindsets they need to correct, and that’s fine. They’re trying their best.

The Ivy-Maddie-Sprig interactions with Marcy were also such fun! I realized Marcy and Maddie haven’t really had a chance to develop their friendship more in a while, so I decided to bring that back. Marcy and Ivy getting close too was simply a byproduct of where Marcy is staying currently, but one that is very welcome! I liked that Marcy has some people to hang out with in Sasha and Anne’s absence, and more than that, that they’re kids. Not that there’s anything wrong with the adults in Wartwood but Marcy needs some friends closer to her own age. I haven’t forgotten that Maddie visited Marcy and brought her get-well gifts during her recovery time from her eye, or that Ivy was present for a good majority of that time as well. These guys deserve the chance to have silly adventures that don’t end well and serious talks over a breakfast table without any adults together. I also found it hilarious that Ivy decided she HAD to go wake up Maddie for sleep potions instead of just putting Marcy back to bed. She was like “wait I need my girlfriend for this”.

HAHA! The Maddie Mystery! That was one of the things that I originally hadn’t intended on including in this chapter, but since it’s the first time Heart and Maddie meet face to face, I felt it was the best time to talk about it. If you recall early in the Heart chapter, they vaguely mention someone they can’t quite remember, which was the very first tease for this plot point. Here, I’ll give you the entire passage—

It is a question Heart is unsure how to tackle. Their own origins are fuzzy even to them, but they remember a familiar face, a soft voice, the sharp curve of a long stick. They also remember large hands. A sense that they have missed something. A dark void that seems inhabited by more than just them. Green. Pink. And they are blue, they think, as they gaze out to the ocean around them. They are water too, perhaps, but they have never known until now. They had not seen snow melt so much until it happened.

Heart’s memories are beyond fuzzy, even moreso than Witney’s, but seeing Maddie’s face triggered something in them they haven’t felt for a thousand years. Pay attention to that passage, it is literally the most important thing to remember when we start unpacking where the gems came from and what happened to them in the era before the Calamity Box.

Anyway who wants a concept sketch for Miss Maddie Ancestor that I made back in 2022?

And I know this whole thing has made people question exactly what role Valeriana plays in the gems’ past, but don’t worry about it right now <3 I have nothing planned for her, nope, nothing at all, what are you talking about?

[heyseihai]

Edit with bad resolution and arial font because I'm still installing programs in my new pc, ugh... (seiten scene was my attempt to create some kind of "fissure atmosphere" between them from the moment Seihai decides to save Leif) art by @nleelyx!

But hey hear me out! I realize I quite like Koori, the BoS version of her anyway. Unlike her oh-so-perfect canon version whose only fault is... wait, there's none, BoS Koori is a lying, arrogant, spoiled two-faced tyrant. but guess what, she's able to feel empathy from time to time! (only towards the top five most important races, except the elves maybe lmao)

As you see, this scene happens after Erika and the others return from the human world (things happened quite differently, but the end is the same: Nevra forces her to leave Leiftan behind), and Koori sees Erika kinda walking away from the gang, and as a good meddler that would have certainly made even Karenn proud, she goes after her and sees Erika uselessly trying to calm down, being consumed by her daemon powers, as I said here, first illu is a ref to midsommar and the iconic Perrito scene in puss in boots 2.

The idea was to establish a parallel between: how Erika despite all her huge power was unable to fight Eel and help Leiftan who had done so much for her in the past; and how Seihai dared to challenge her own husband and his law, leaving duty and the north behind, risking her life despite not being the best of fighters just to save someone important to her.

Seihai has long lost her sense of purpose at this point, but hearing from Leiftan running after Erika shakes her somehow. Unlike Erika and Koori, Seihai has nothing more to lose by saving him. Maybe one of the scenes I'm more thrilled to work with.

But as much as Koori helping Erika could be seen as an act of friendship, it could also be seen as a cruel one. Let's remember that Koori's main weapons are illusions, and she's close to the Light Guard in BoS, who knows, she may be mind-controlling Erika by HH orders, right? After all there's nothing worse than a hysterical woman.

And even worse, a hysterical faelien woman with potential to snap and overpower the Guard and someday free herself from their chains.

I shall remember y'all that in BoS, power is not a bad thing. Therefore, before you start saying Erika went full Daenerys burn them all Targaryen and is becoming some sort of mad queen, daemon power means free will in BoS, not "villain side" like Bee writes the canon version. Erika will steadily release herself from the Guard's mental grasp, and Koori is a crucial weapon to prevent this from happening. She helps the Guard with Erika, the Guard helps her with her throne someday in the future. No no we don't talk about sorority here.

[nervouscloudtheorist]

April 12th 2024

Dear Diary,

I GOT PURPLE ROSES!! I am getting so good at gardening! I should try gardening with the other flowers and seeing if I get any new colors from them.

Also the fishing tourney is tomorrow and we had another new person move in. Her name is Deirdre. She's really cool from what I can tell so far. I think Deirdre, Clay and I could really be good friends. You know once Clay and I get along better.

I donated all my new and rare island bugs and fish to Blathers and he was so happy. He was mentioning that these items could only be found in the summer so they were super rare. I didn't let him know I went to tropical island but that is between me, you, and Kapp'n. I forgot I also brought back fruit from the island so I planted 2 coconut trees and 3 mango trees. I will need to start doing the tours at the island to see if I can find any more rare plants. Maybe I will make my island an island paradise.

I think I also figured out the best way to earn money because when I went to the Re-Tail shop and sold all my extra beetles, I earned 25,000 bells. I also earned 500 bells from Chrissy when she bought my washer/dryer but that is besides the point. The point is that I think I might go to the island every night to catch beetles!

I haven't had this much money in one go so you know I had to go on a shopping spree. I went to the main street and went to Sables shop to shop till I dropped. I ran into Clay at the store too and he told me that my current outfit looked so good on me so naturally I needed to continue my stylish ways. I didn't buy a whole lot, I only bought 3 items but the thrill of being able to buy things without worry was there. ANOTHER THING I just learned that the shop is not called Sable's shop. I always thought it was weird because I generally talk to Mable but I know I heard her talk about Sable. Anyways I guess it's called the ABLE SISTERS. Man I feel really dumb for not calling it by the right name this whole time.

I also went to the Gardening shop, which is run by a man named Leif. He doesn't sell much just a sapling and a couple of different flowers but it's nice that there is finally a garden shop in the area. Maybe he will give me some ideas on how I can make my own garden look nicer.

Like most days so far, Nookling Junction had nothing for me to buy so I did skip them out on my shopping spree but I decided with my new found wealth that my house was much to small for me and I decided to give Tom Nook a visit.

When I was at his shop, he introduced me to Lyle. He works for the Happy Home Academy ( its not association) and he kind of gave me a run down of what to expect from their reviews. It didn't really matter to me because I really was only there to talk to Tom Nook but okay. Tom Nook said he would have my house upgraded by tomorrow and it would only cost me 98,000 bells which is nothing when I have the island on my side!

I went back to town and just was cleaning things up when I noticed a tent in the town square. It was someone called Crazy Redd. He sells artwork but he will only sell me one a day. I looked over some of them and they kinda look...off. I don't know a lot about art but I remember my mom showing me some of them and what Redd is selling just doesn't look the same. He didn't let me get a really good look at any of them so I just decided to buy the gallant statue. I think he probably was just as nervous as I was honestly. It can't be easy to go and sell your wares in a new town all the time.

Anyways I don't have very much else to report except that I met Kitt and I'm not his biggest fan but I'm pretty confident he will grow on me :)

Back to gardening and getting this bread!

-Finn

[ultramagicalternate]

ULTRAMagic Prelude Chapter 22

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Master Post

While making their way back to the beach, Blood-Wraith and Deimos ran into Dragoslava… who was eating fruit and angrily muttering to herself. “...Damn it, freaking soul fragments… stupid Lich… CAN I CATCH A BREAK FOR TWO SECONDS?!”

“Sister? I thought you were going to go check on Leif…”

“Blood? Er, yeah…” She replied with a mouth full of food.

“I take it that things are a bit complicated?” Deimos observed.

Dragoslava swallowed and burped. “That’s about right. I suppose I should probably tell you all about this issue I have. It's been weighing on me for a while. Did you know I used to have a crush before the great hunt? Ethor Kovarik. He was a cute dork I was flirting with. It didn’t help that the hunt kept us distracted, but we managed to become friends. Then I left to go explore and find out what the Beast’s deal was…”

“Did something happen?”

“He died while I was gone.”

Blood-Wraith was devastated. “Sister, I had no idea…”

Dragoslava held her hand up. “Stop. It’s in the past. There’s nothing you can do about it…” She then shattered a rock in her metal hand.

“Sister?”

She sighed. “We’re not supposed to die, the Descendants. When we do, we reincarnate, but where we end up is anyone’s guess. I didn’t know him that well, but it still stings. Sometimes I even think he’s coming around the corner, but it’s just Desislav. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Ethor reincarnated as him.”

“Sister… Do you need a hug?”

“Right now? No. What I need is to work off this fruit, ha.”

“Hrm… Alright, but I am still giving you a hug eventually” Blood-Wraith stated.

Leif was watching the waves as the others exited the forest. “Back already? I figured you would have been… BROTHER?”

Deimos looked Leif in the eye. “It’s been a while…”

Naturally the 20 foot tall dragon leapt for joy, shaking the island. “HA, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T ACTUALLY GONE!”

“That’s not what your paranoia was saying…”

“Tyrant! Shush. Ahem, Deimos… What happened to you?!”

“Honestly I have no idea. Pride, fear, arrogance… I really should have stayed as The Made of Old. Thankfully I’ve matured a great deal since then.”

“So… what’s your plan? How are we going to stop your other half?”

“Always asking even though you know the answers… It’s simple: I’m taking back what’s mine and reincarnating. I’ve already begun the process.” Deimos pulled away his robes, revealing a chaotic mass of energy in his ribcage.

Leif was shocked. “Deimos! Is that… that’s ANTIMagic! What are you even doing?”

“I know, I know; not the ideal outcome. I don’t want to lose my progress, which is what got me into this mess in the first place… but this will work out for everyone. There’s always more than one way to peel a fruit.”

Blood-Wraith inspected Deimos. “Looks incredibly unorthodox. What is ANTIMagic?”

“Ditto. Is it a type of ULTRAMagic or something?” Dragoslava was also curious.

“Not quite. Allow me to explain” Deimos replied. “ANTIMagic occurs when there is a great upheaval with one’s magic. The mage can be changed or they can spawn an all new entity. The term “ANTIMagic” is not meant to be literal. It’s chaotic, unpredictable magic. In my case, I am pursuing ULTRAMagic… but the state of my being will end up corrupting it. An utter calamity I am not happy about.”

“Uncle?” Blood-Wraith put his arm on his shoulders. “Can you promise that you won’t go crazy?”

“I can’t make any guarantees, unfortunately…”

“That doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence, brother,” Leif pointed out. “...but if you feel this is the right thing to do, I’ll support you.”

Deimos chuckled. “I wouldn’t be going through with this if I truly doubted it. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, however.”

“So I guess we’re finally going for it then?”

“Indeed Leif. This is our grand finale. Once we leave this world, we either win and reincarnate or die trying.” Deimos stepped towards the water. “So what about that loose end of yours?”

This gave a Tyrant a chill. “Um, pardon? What are you doing?”

“Blood-Wraith? Dragoslava? A word before we go tidy up and head off” Leif announced. “We haven’t known each other for long and that saddens me. It saddens me because I can say with the utmost certainty that my time is here. I will not be returning home with you from the Unspeaker’s realm. With that being said, allow me to explain why Tyrant exists. In hindsight, I had the same crisis that plagued The Mage of Old. I even considered burying my doubt and fear, but ultimately I refused. Instead, I manifested those feelings as a double. This double would never let me forget them no matter how hard I tried. Tyrant was not the best name, but it stuck regardless.”

“Hey, hey… I thought it was a cool… WAIT A SECOND! You’re… You’re not getting rid of me, are you?” Tyrant looked horrified.

“No, I’m passing you on.”

“What? Explain, please?”

“Tyrant, I no longer fear my mortality. It is something that must happen. I also don’t want to leave without having left my mark on the Cosmos, so I wish to bequeath you to Blood-Wraith. Blood? Do you accept this piece of myself?”

Blood-Wraith was speechless. “I…I… I accept? I… Leif?!”

“Good enough,” Leif said with a chuckle. Tyrant hesitated, but accepted his fate. As he left Leif’s side, the dragon’s scales went from black to sterling white. The cloud of shadows then plunged into Blood-Wraith, causing him to convulse. This forced him into his dragon form, with the difference being that he now resembled Leif in form and size.

Blood-Wraith flew up into the air and let out a mighty roar. “Don’t worry, Leif! I won’t let you down!”

“Haha! Most excellent. Now Deimos, shall we take care of your housekeeping?”

Aqua World (coined by Dragoslava) had an issue in that a spaceship from an unknown universe had wound up lost in the Unlight. The crew was a collection of humans and machines who were transporting their people across space. The current problem was that the machines had gone rogue and were messing things up planetside. Deimos had also tried to assist the humans before, but they had formed a religion worshiping the machines and labeled him as a trickster god of death. And since he was in a weakened state, the most he could do was sneak onto the ship to repair it so it did not plunge into the planet below.

Deimos explained all of this as they traveled to the island closest to the spaceship. He rode atop Leif while Dragoslava sat on Blood-Wraith’s back. The two dragons studied the strange structure. Calling it a spacecraft at this point was being generous. It looked more like a malformed tree looming in the atmosphere. Metal and strange growths jutted out all over it. The sad state of the ship elicited a sense of dread, like it was a tomb more than anything else. Even Dragoslava was unsettled by it, openly admitting her refusal to explore it. Fortunately they did not have to go anywhere near it.

“Just like the good old days, ey Leif?” Deimos asked as they landed.

“How do I miss those times, traveling the Cosmos without a care…”

“Alright, where are the bolt brains?” Dragoslava asked as she hopped off of Blood-Wraith. He then reverted back to normal.

“Close, but first things first: Blood, focus on the fragment of the Colossus, like you would if you were transforming” Deimos instructed.

Blood-Wraith was slightly confused, but did as he was told. “Okay…” a green flash of light appeared and left an 8 foot tall humanoid standing there. He was muscular in build and evoked a demon-like appearance. “Well now…” Blood-Wraith marveled at his new form.

“And there you go! This is what I’m going to call your Might Form. You are vastly stronger at the cost of your magic being weaker. Fortunately your angelic weapon should be able to compensate for that though.”

“Looking good, Blood!” Dragoslava complimented.

He wanted to comment further, but a mechanical hound leapt out of the bushes. Blood-Wraith caught it and threw it against a tree. This sent it running. Summoning Voidborne’s blade, Blood-Wraith dashed into the forest with the others following. The trees soon opened up into a clearing full of machines trying to set up a base on the island. Deimos barely had a moment to catch his breath before Blood-Wraith began fighting them. Dragoslava metalized her skin and immediately joined him.

“Geeze…phew… guys, not that one! The other one! Blood! Watch…out…”

“Deimos, have you tried reasoning with the machines?” Leif questioned.

He nodded. “Uh-huh… It went poorly. Apparently I don’t compute to them.”

After a bit of fierce brawling, Blood-Wraith was flung into a deep and large spring. This angered him. It reminded him of the battle at the Metal Oasis. With his rage ignited, an orange light erupted from the pool. A moment of silence was then interrupted by a giant serpent emerging from the water. Given that it had six eyes and her brother’s general appearance, Dragoslava assumed it was Blood-Wraith. He let out a roar that was more like a snake hiss and rammed into a specific machine.

“Alright, you're good! Don’t wreck the machines anymore!” Deimos called out as he ran over to a banged up terminal “That was the head machine, Blood! Now I can change their directives.”

Dragoslava walked over and was confused by what she saw. “What the… what kind of magic is this?” Blood-Wraith let out a low grumble, echoing his sister’s lack of knowledge.

Leif laughed. “That my friends is a computer. It is a combination of various metals and electricity that executes complex tasks. It’s not your fault for not knowing as the Descendants are old fashioned.”

“They made the right choice. Coding is a pain in the soul to learn…” Deimos groaned.

Blood-Wraith reverted back to normal once again. “That looks really cool! How do I get my hands on one of these… computers?”

“The Market District?” Dragoslava put forth.

“Most likely…and…There! Now the machines will prioritize keeping the humans safe, within reason” Deimos elaborated. “Now I can leave without having to worry. I definitely want to come back when all is said and done.”

Back at the temple, Deimos collected his possessions and returned to the beach. The next course of action was to head back to the Iron City and get ready to pursue the Lich. Desislav and Tusk would be brought along for support. They also most likely wanted to get back at the Lich for all the trouble he had caused. Flying back to the Unlight proper hit Deimos with nostalgia. It felt great to see that everything was mostly the same as when he left. He was also relieved to hear that the Iron City was safe.

“I remember back when the War Machine laid down to rest. I was stunned by the beauty of the city he had formed” Deimos called out as they flew.

“It’s kind of surreal knowing that my home is a giant corpse, if I’m being honest” Dragoslava commented back.

“Just as a heads up brother; the War Machine has been reborn” Leif added.

“Really now?”

“Indeed. Corentin Schindewolf did so as his magnum opus.”

“And my big sis even gave him a name: Maximus” Dragoslava continued.

Deimos liked that. “Maximus… I’d say that’s quite a fitting name. He was quite mighty in his prime.”

“Hey, Blood? Do you think Tusk will be okay with Deimos?” Dragoslava asked.

“Hmm… Well I think he’ll be more concerned about Leif’s appearance, the fact that Tyrant is gone, and that I’m now a full sized dragon.”

Dragoslava laughed. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Next: Chapter 23

ULTRAMagic Alternate © 2022 William Ford II (ChaoticTempleKnight)

[evajellion]

2020 vidya ranking: #1 Bug Fables The Everlasting Sapling

You already knew that I was going to tell you that this was the best game I had played last year.

Imo, this should have been indie GOTY back in 2019, but whatever, I guess I should explain why I ranked this one at the top.

Back in 2004, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door was released. I had sadly missed out on getting the original game on the Nintendo 64, but I was nonetheless very excited for the sequel. I got the game, still have my copy even years later… aaaand I got confused in Rogueport Sewers because I was a dumb eight year old, but I swear I picked up the game a second time. Got through all of the chapters, and had fallen in love with the game.

I loved the characters, the battle system, the story, the chapter progression, the cooking system, even the hidden lore and the amount of side quest scattered throughout the game. I even cried. It was the first time I had cried over a video game.

I wanted more, but then, Nintendo didn’t do it again. Sure, Super Paper Mario had a fantastic story, and a lot of people treasure that game the way I do TTYD-- I wouldn’t even mind if the series stayed in that direction. After that though?

Well, Sticker Star happened and stripped away all of the things I loved. Two similar games and one spin-off followed after that. Needless to say, me and several other fans of 64, TTYD, and Super weren’t happy about it. Seemed like I would never get another game like the one that was so dear to me ever again.

Cue me finding Arlo’s video about a cute little game called Bug Fables, just around the summer time. It had come out in 2019 and had been in development for some time by an indie studio. I was skeptic, but at this point I wanted anything-- besides, I actually love insects.

And after the first two chapters, which were a bit bland, I found it. I found the game I had been looking for. I was so afraid that this would be another Mighty No. 9 or Yooka-Laylee, but Bug Fables was anything but. Sure, it took inspiration from Paper Mario with its gameplay structure, but saying that this game is “just Paper Mario” doesn’t do it justice, because game can stand tall on its own.

I loved just about everything here in the same way I loved TTYD. Characters (except for two), the battle system, the story, the chapter progression, the cooking system, the hidden lore and the amount of side quest-- and there was even more than that.

“Gee what did Bug Fables have that Paper Mario didn’t?”

More than one super boss

A card game

Three party members in battle at a time

An entire side quest chapter that you can miss

An in-game randomizer

Higher difficulty settings

FREE DLC

Actual quality of life improvements

And finally, a villain who doesn’t just get a mere slap on the wrist as punishment for their actions. It’s one of the things Super did far better than TTYD because Beldam being let off scott free in the ending always pissed me off as a kid. The final boss is less ham-fisted in general too.

You have three characters at all times-- they’re your only party members and the only ones you need because they’re all perfectly balanced: Kabbu, Vi, and Leif. The third of which you won’t even meet until a bit into the first chapter. You don’t have to worry about wasting turns by switching your members out in this game.

The story starts off simple with the team of three collecting artifacts for Queen Elizant II, who seeks the Everlasting Sapling for an unspecified reason. About half way through the game and into the fourth chapter, the tone of the situation begins to shift, as the wicked wasps from the Wasp Kingdom also seek these artifacts for their lord.

This game doesn’t skimp out on being accurate to bug details either, there are little nods to how things work in real life, which is something I always appreciate. There isn’t really a dull moment in the story or a second where you feel stuck, because with the amount of Medals you get, there are plenty of strategies you can play around with.

Bug Fables is also… surprisingly dark, which perhaps isn’t unfitting of a game inspired by Paper Mario, given the direction TTYD and Super would get into. I can’t really spoil anything in regards to that, because much like with Three Houses, I would rather someone experience that themselves.

In terms of the flaws in this game, I can only think of two. One is regarding a terrible Flappy Bird game that’s required for 100%. It just shouldn’t be there, or at least be easier on the eyes.

The other is that this game suffers from having too many characters, when only four of them get actual character arcs: The main trio and the queen. You have some characters that get more fleshed out in side quests such as fellow team members or NPCs, but I feel like other “major players” suffer in the process.

Neolith is a big one. Cute nerdy moth who just exists as exposition for the artifacts and is a part of Kabbu’s backstory, but he never really does anything besides that, which is disappointing because he’s very cute. I would have loved more lore to him and Kabbu’s past, maybe a future DLC quest can solve that!

Your “rival team” also suffers a bit in this department. The team leader, Mothiva, is a snooty diva who never properly gets her comeuppance or realization that she needs to stop making everything about herself. I guess that’s the point, to give that vibe similar to old Pokémon rivals. But we’re supposed to believe she’s an official couple with her partner; Zasp, who just seems to simp for her in a one-sided way. Perhaps this could also be fixed with another DLC quest.

The worst of the bunch is Kina, Maki’s overly protective and possessive sister to the point of it being creepy. Unlike Mothiva, who is your rival, Kina is supposed to be a supporting cast member, yet she has even less likable traits. She stalks her brother and constantly wants to be with him, gets upset at the idea of him needing space, threatens a small caterpillar character-- you could remove her from the story and it changes nothing. There’s not even a backstory reason for her to be the way she is.

Mind you-- these are very minor nitpicks that don’t really bog down the game. Some may say the main villain of the game suffers from this as well since he shows up halfway into the game, I personally think he was handled perfectly, because you can piece together his motivations and backstory through lore.

Speaking of lore, I hope with so much in this game, that we end up getting a sequel. There are so many questions left unanswered, so much more I wanna know about! 

Other than that thought? The trio of Kabbu, Vi, and Leif and their story is just about perfect. I can’t thank Arlo enough for introducing me to it, and I think this game will catch on more in the future since Chuggaconroy said he was playing it on Twitter, and Fatguy just completed his LP of the game.

I think… we’re entering an age where we should start expecting this level of quality from indie developers more often. This game didn’t feel like an indie game, it felt like a grade a RPG. Which is funny, because that’s what Paper Mario used to be.

God speed, Paper Bug devs. Keep up the good work in the future, thank you for bringing back a feeling I thought I’d never experience with a video game again. I know it sounds cheesy and stupid, but that’s.. just how much Paper Mario effected me back then. Even now, it inspires the books I wanna write, and it’s safe to say Bug Fables did the same.

By the way, can I talk about how delicious some of the food items look in this game? This is insect cuisine, and even I would eat these.

For recap on what the other games I had played this year were, just so you know how Bug Fables topped ‘em:

2. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

3. Animal Crossing: New Horizons

4. Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town

5. Super Mario All-Stars

6. Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon and The Blade of Light

7. Final Fantasy VII

8. F-Zero

9. Star Fox

10. Puyo Puyo Champions

[ofstormsandwolves]

near-misses and mistletoe kisses

Zoey x Joan

All ages

Fluff & romance

Joan attends the SPRQ Point fourth floor Christmas party after several months as acting CEO, but her feelings for a certain red-headed coder make her wonder if it's a good idea...

Thanks to @royalarmyofoz for the prompt: mistletoe. 

If anyone has any other Zoey x Joan Christmas prompts, maybe send them my way?

Read on AO3

Being back on the fourth floor after so long away felt more than a little strange to Joan, despite it not having changed much since she’d left. The past six months had been filled with tech expos, public speaking, and travelling the world as acting CEO of SPRQ Point while Danny Michael Davis was serving time. Now, Joan wouldn’t trade the opportunity for anything, but it did feel strangely comforting to return to her old floor even for a few hours.

In fact, she’d missed the familiar faces of her team more than she’d ever admit aloud. She’d been a little surprised when she’d received the e-vite from Zoey, asking her to attend the fourth floor Christmas party, but she hadn’t been able to say no. The younger woman had become a good friend to her over the past year, and she supposed swinging by the party for a few hours wouldn’t hurt.

With a breath, Joan moved further into the office space, which had been decked out in lights and baubles and a big Christmas tree. The desks had been cleared away for the party, a wise choice considering that Tobin was practically throwing himself around the dance floor, clearly having already had a few drinks. Music pumped through the room, and Joan found herself giving tight smiles and quiet greetings to a few of her old subordinates as she moved through the throng of familiar faces.

She didn’t know why she was seeking out one particular person quite so much. Well, she did, but she wasn’t about to admit it. No, that was something she’d done her best to bury, these feelings that she was desperately trying to ignore. Getting out of the office had done wonders, but the feeling still chased her, the thoughts still preoccupied her mind at the most inopportune moments.

And then Joan saw her. Red hair cascading in waves around her pale shoulders, which were bare save two thin straps holding up an emerald green dress. An animated grin on her face, hands gesturing wildly as she talked. Joan felt her heart stop in her chest, her mouth going dry as she took in the sight of Zoey Clarke chatting happily with Mo, who appeared to be DJ-ing the event. Since accepting the invitation to the party, she had thought long and hard about how she would approach the younger woman, had carefully planned how to greet her in a way that was casual but not too casual, how she would give her that smirk that made Zoey blush, how she would try to steal the young coder away for a quiet chat and a private catch-up. Not for anything, of course. They were just friends. Only friends. Zoey didn’t think of her that way. But staring at her now, all of Joan’s plans flew out of her head and for a moment she could have sobbed.

Why had she come? After months of trying to ignore her feelings for Zoey, of trying to brush them off as a silly crush or a misinterpreted friendship, she had walked straight into what felt very much like a trap. How could she spend the night with the younger woman, acting calm and casual, and ignoring the fact she wanted nothing more than to shove her up against a wall and drive her senseless? Was this really such a good idea, showing up at the office party where there would inevitably be lots of alcohol and a delectably-dressed Zoey?

Taking a breath, Joan took a shaky step back, and instead started looking for the bar.

 Joan was on her third martini when she heard someone call her name over a loud, pop-y Christmas song. She looked around in surprise, only for her heart to sink as she saw Leif making his way towards her with a grin.

“Joan! You made it,” Leif sat next to her at the bar, not noticing Joan’s strained smile. “Zoey said she’d invited you, but she wasn’t sure you could make it.”

“Oh, yeah, well,” Joan shrugged uncomfortably. “I was home for Christmas, so I thought I’d swing by, make sure my replacement hasn’t managed to destroy the entire floor. I would quite like to have a team to come back to once Danny Michael Davis is back as CEO.”

“And we’d love to have you back,” Leif said, his tone making her squirm a little. It was just a little too needy, that little too sickly-sweet for her taste.

Letting out a nervous laugh at that, Joan took a gulp of martini. “Well, I guess I’d better make the rounds. Say hello to people, and all that.” She went to slide off the barstool, but was stopped by Leif’s hand on her arm. She stared at him.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Leif smiled, then pointedly looked up.

Dangling from one of the many strings of fairy lights suspended throughout the room, was a sprig of mistletoe. Joan felt the blood drain from her face as she returned her gaze to Leif’s expectant expression.

“Uh, well, I don’t know, Leif,” she shifted uncomfortably, gave another nervous laugh. “We’re in a room full of people, and the last time I let anything like this happen... Well, we both know it didn’t end well.”

“Come on, Joan, it’s tradition.” Leif took a step closer, and Joan quickly took a step back.

“Everything alright?”

Both Joan and Leif looked round in surprise at the new voice, seeing Zoey staring at the pair of them with a furrowed brow.

“Zoey!” Joan felt the panic loosen in her chest at the sight of the redhead, and she quickly moved to embrace the younger woman. “Everything’s fine, Leif and I were just talking.”

Leif, whose shoulders had slumped at the interruption, looked about to say something then, so Joan grabbed her purse off the bar and looped her arm through Zoey’s.

“Come on, I need to powder my nose.”

And before Leif could say anything, Joan was carting Zoey off to the ladies’ room.

 Ok, so the ladies’ room hadn’t been the best place to go, considering that the rest of the party goers were male and wouldn’t be able to offer interruptions. All she’d succeeded in doing, Joan realised, was isolate herself with the woman she had quite frustrating romantic feelings for.

“So, what was all that about?” Zoey asked as she checked her makeup in the mirror.

Joan did the same, although she didn’t really need to. She just felt like she had to do something to stop herself from staring at Zoey.

“Oh, uh, Leif was getting a little too friendly,” Joan rolled her eyes. “Whoever put that mistletoe up should be fired.”

“But you’re alright?” Zoey glanced over at her with a frown. “He wasn’t making you uncomfortable or anything?”

“Well, he was, but I can handle it.” The brunette sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”

“What? No! Joan, you deserve to be here! You’re still our team leader, even if you’re not managing the floor right now! And, after all the work you’ve been doing these past months, you deserve a night off. Besides, I...” Zoey trailed off uncertainly then, before continuing in a quieter, almost uncertain voice. “I’ve missed you.”

There was something in her tone, a vulnerability, that made Joan freeze. Could she...? Did Zoey...? No, she couldn’t... She swallowed.

Zoey, for her part, was flushed red, and she hastily readjusted the straps of her dress before moving for the bathroom door. “We should get back out to the party before Tobin eats all the food.”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll, I’ll be right there.”

Zoey didn’t respond, instead hurrying out the bathroom without a backwards glance. Turning her attention to her reflection, Joan studied her appearance for a long while. There was no way Zoey had meant she’d missed her in that way, right? Not in the way Joan had missed her?

She stared at her reflection’; taking in her choice of makeup, the way she’d carefully done her hair so that it was naturally curly but not frizzy, the dark blue dress she’d chosen that hugged her figure in all the right places...  She’d spent ages getting ready for the party, had wanted to look her best, and for what? What had been the plan? In all honesty, there had never really been a plan, no matter what she tried to convince herself. Beyond ‘show up looking gorgeous, get Zoey alone for some drinks and a chat’, there had been nothing. She hadn’t considered what she would say to the younger woman, or whether she’d admit to the fact her heart stopped in her chest at the sight of Zoey’s smile. She hadn’t admitted to herself that she had dressed up for the redhead who had just walked out on her, hadn’t stopped to fully dwell on exactly what she’d been doing. A little voice in the back of her head that sounded like Charlie was laughing at her. How could she have been so stupid? Why would Zoey want her? She was reading too much into things. Zoey simply missed having another woman around at work, it had nothing to do with any personal matters or feelings.

After all, there had been talks of Zoey and Max, and there had been the accusations at Simon’s engagement party too. The woman had two attractive young men after her and the world at her feet. Why would she look twice at a woman twenty years older than her?

Letting out a quiet sigh, Joan made up her mind. She was getting out of there.

 She really had meant to just sneak out. But somehow, Tobin had spotted her and Joan had been corralled over to the dance floor. Repeated attempts were made by the young man to drag her onto the dance floor, and eventually resigning herself to being stuck there, she instead made her way back to the bar.

“Where’ve you been?”

Joan blinked. Zoey was sat at the bar, two martinis in front of her and a worried frown on her face.

“Oh, uh, Tobin caught me. He was trying to get me to ‘cut loose’.” Joan grimaced.

“Ah.” Zoey nodded, and slid a martini over to her.

Somewhat reluctantly, the older woman slipped onto a stool and took a sip of the drink.

“You know, I was beginning to think you’d stood me up,” the redhead said, a small smile on her face.

Having no response to that, Joan simply blinked.

“I mean, I thought I’d scared you off, saying about how I missed you.” Zoey’s attention was on her martini glass, shoulders tight and cheeks flaming red in embarrassment. “I thought I’d made you uncomfortable, I know you’re not always big on emotional talks and stuff. But... But I meant it. And I’m not sorry I said it.”

A long silence then, as music continued to thump away in the background. A few people came to the bar, ordered drinks, and the two women waited uncomfortably until they were alone again.

“When you say you missed me,” Joan began uncertainly once they were indeed again alone, “do you mean at work?”

Zoey shrugged. “Kinda. But also out of work. I mean, I know you’re like, super busy, but I miss seeing you. Which sounds weird, I know, because we didn’t exactly hang out much before. But...” She sighed, before turning to look at Joan fully. “I had a conversation with Mo a few months ago, when me and Max were arguing, and he told me that real friends owe it to each other to have hard conversations, to talk about things that are difficult, or weird, or uncomfortable. And, believe me, the irony is not lost on me that what I’m about to tell you is the exact thing that drove a wedge between me and Max, but I can’t not say anything.”

“Zoey-”

“No, Joan, please just let me finish. I... I really like you. As in, like you. I thought maybe it was just a crush, or it was to do with you being there for me after everything with my dad and stuff, but... It hasn’t gone away. And it isn’t something I can just ignore anymore.”

Joan blinked. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. Was she dreaming? Had she slipped in the bathroom, and actually unconscious right now? Was it some elaborate, cruel joke?

“Joan? Please say something. Anything.”

“Uh...”

In all honesty, Joan was having trouble processing everything and finding her voice. But Zoey’s worried gaze was just enough to jolt her out of her mind to stumble through an answer.

“That’s... Wow. Ok. Wasn’t expecting that.”

“I’m really sorry to spring this on you,” Zoey said, sounding more than a little worried. “Look, I know this seemed to have come out of nowhere, and if you want me to just leave you alone, I will-”

“I like you too.”

Joan hadn’t quite expected the words to come out so abruptly, and Zoey’s wide-eyed look told her the younger woman hadn’t expected it either. Now it was the redhead’s turn to struggle for words.

“Oh. Right. Uh, ok... So, um, what do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Joan admitted with a shrug. “I haven’t exactly done this sort of thing in years.”

“Yeah, no, of course.” Zoey looked around at the party that was still in full swing. “You want to go somewhere else and talk? Somewhere not full of our co-workers getting drunk and dancing to Mariah Carey?”

“If you want to, yeah.” A small smile was spreading across Joan’s face, and Zoey returned it.

“Ok.”

The two women grabbed their purses, and Joan had just slipped off her stool when she remembered something. She looked up tentatively and there, hanging between them from the lights, was the sprig of mistletoe.

Zoey had followed her gaze with a small frown, mouth widening into a surprised ‘o’ as she realised what Joan was looking at. Slowly, the two women redirected their attention to each other.

“What do we do?” Zoey asked, a little breathless.

“Well,” Joan said, a smirk spreading across her lips, “it is a tradition.”

The younger woman considered that for a moment from her vantage point still on the bar stool. She spared a quick glance at her team members, all drinking and partying. Mo was busy at the decks but looked up and spotted Zoey and Joan across the room. Taking in their predicament, a grin spread across his face and he flashed Zoey a wink.

Grinning, the redhead returned her attention to Joan, reaching out to pull her closer. Instinctively Joan stepped between Zoey’s legs, arms coming around the woman’s waist as they leaned in. Their lips touched, soft and warm, in a kiss that was surprisingly tender. When they parted, they both glanced towards the dance floor. Besides a smirking Mo, nobody seemed to have noticed their little moment. Threading her fingers through Zoey’s, Joan tugged the younger coder off the stool and leaned in close to murmur in her ear.

“Your place or mine?”

With a seductive grin Joan hadn’t known Zoey was capable of, the redhead merely raised her eyebrows and tugged her towards the elevators.

Well, Joan thought, it looked like she’d made the right decision after all.

[mystic-shadows42]

Against the Odds {Part 3}

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, and Language

You were out with your brother and sister making sure they didn’t get into any trouble. When they saw Hvitserk they got excited and ran over to him.

Guess they forgot about being discreet when they see him in public. He heard their running footsteps and picked them up in his arms. Hvitserk didn’t care who saw him with Leif and Sif.

He just wanted to greet them and make them smile. People were busy at the marketplace luckily. Hvitserk kneeled down and gave Sif a beautiful bracelet.

“This bracelet is embedded with crystals. To represent the beauty who wears it.” 

He put the bracelet on her delicate wrist then took her hand and kissed it, smiling at her. She swayed side to side with a toothy grin and thanked him. He turned to Leif and gave him a dagger. 

“Use this wisely. It’s for protection shall any harm come to you and your family. You’ll be a man in a few years. I’ll take you hunting myself should your sister allow it.” He glanced up at you while kneeling.

Hvitserk stood up and grabbed something that was in a bag. He handed it to you watching your movements excitedly. You took the bag and looked inside. You gasped.

“Hvitserk, I can’t possibly take this.”

“You can and you will. It’s my gift to you.”

You looked back in the bag again. He gave you a beautiful necklace that you were sure was more than just a bag of silver.

“That’s not all. I’ve sent you and your family new furs.”

“Hvitserk, this is too much.”

“When I was in your home Leif and Sif didn’t have much to keep them warm at night. Let me at least take care of them so they won’t get sick.”

“Fine. Thank you.” You wanted to kiss him but you looked around noticing there were a few onlookers. Hvitserk noticed as well and nodded to you. When he left you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

****

(Third Person POV)

Queen Aslaug had gathered everyone into the great hall for a feast. Everybody was eating and having a good time drinking.

All was good and well. Hvitserk was enjoying himself eating the food Ivar threw at his face. Ubbe was laughing and having a good time as well. He just so happened to look over in your general direction when his smile faltered.

“Oh Gods,” Hvitserk said when he saw where you were seated. He had his food in front of him yet he couldn’t manage to take one bite.

“What’s wrong brother?” Ubbe asked.

“Every woman at that table with Y/N, I’ve laid with. No doubt its mother’s doing.”

All his brothers laughed at him turning their chairs so they could look. Hvitserk nervously ate as he watched the women making conversation with you.

Sigurd raised his drinking horn of ale. “To Hvitserk’s past coming to bite him in the ass.” All of the brothers laughed at this toasting. Hvitserk wasn’t amused.

He knew your temper and was nervous to see what’ll happen the longer the women conversed with you. Every time he ate a piece of his food he’d look at you then to the other women.

He knew women gossiped, he just didn’t know if they’d speak of him and their intimate encounters. Hvitserk was so engrossed in the scene that all conversations around him faded. It was when his mother finally took a seat with her sons that he broke his reverie.

“Enjoying yourselves?” 

She smiled at all her sons seeming proud of herself. Hvitserk had his hard glare at her wanting answers.

“Mother, what’s the meaning of this?”

“Of what?” She asked taking a sip of her drink acting clueless.

“Y/N at the table with all those ladies.”

“What ladies are they exactly?” She squinted her eyes at her son wanting him to challenge her. Her piercing eyes made Hvitserk look down at his food submitting to her.

“Mother, you know.” He said exasperatedly.

“I thought she could use some company while we talk.” She folded her hands together before her. All the brothers listened closely.

“About what?”

“Your arranged marriage I’ve put in place.”

Hvitserk dropped his wooden spoon looking at her. He was angry. He didn’t want to marry, let alone one that his mother picked out. He pushed himself back out of his chair to leave.

“Sit down,” her voice held authority and seriousness. He did as she commanded.

“You’ll marry this girl for the greater good. She’s a much-needed alliance for an army, should we need it. Her family is wealthy and she only needs a husband. She’s already on her way over. That shall give you enough time to rid of your whore.”

Hvitserk bit back his tongue. All his life he never worried about being a leader of his own and making big decisions. His brothers were always the ones to take those roles on.

He just wanted to have fun. Sex and violence. That’s what he liked. He looked at Y/N. He didn’t want to give her up. He grew attached to her and her siblings. 

When she looked over at him he smiled a little. He didn’t want to break her heart, but this arranged marriage will hurt her. Y/N held his stare knowing something wasn’t right.

He nodded his head to the side discreetly. She understood and excused herself as she left. Hvitserk moved his food around once more. He waited then stood up to leave. Aslaug grabbed his hand. 

“I trust you’ll make the right decision.”

“Of course mother. Now excuse me while I process my newfound life you’ve placed upon me.”

She let him go knowing he did indeed have to process this his way. If he were to immerse himself in the girl one last time, then she’d let him. As long as it was the last time.

Hvitserk pulled Y/N close to him as he kissed her before she could even speak. His hands were all over her as if she could be taken away from him at any moment. Y/N pulled back much to his displeasure.

“What’s with you?”

Hvitserk thought over his arranged marriage. If he told her now, she’d be angry and upset. He just wanted one night where they can enjoy themselves without any outside presence to bother them.

“Nothing. I just want to be with you tonight is all.”

Y/N took his hands in hers smiling at him. This is all he wanted. He placed his hand behind her neck pulling her to him as they kissed. Hvitserk groaned when Y/N pulled back again.

“Were you worried?”

“Worried about what?”

“About me at the table with those ladies.” He looked at her with uncertainty. She placed her hands on his chest sighing. “I know that you were with them. It hurts to know, but that was your past. I can’t be mad at that now. You’ve been so good to me.”

“I didn’t know my mother would do that.”

She gave him a look. He knew better than that. 

“Hvitserk, you know well enough what lengths she’d go to ensure your future.”

“I don’t want to talk about other ladies or my mother anymore. Let this just be about us.”

Y/N nodded in agreement. She pressed her head against his, loving the comfort he gives her.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

Coder Boyfriends Quarantine Fic

-

I wrote this months ago and never finished it... so yeah take this somewhat complete work. Maybe if enough of y’all like it I’ll write more. Also I’m too lazy to come up with a real title :)

-

They were two weeks into quarantine, and Tobin was officially stuck with a ferret. And it wasn’t even his ferret.

“What are we going to do about this, dude?” He asked Leif one morning, flopping down at their kitchen table and staring at the stupid little creature in his cage across from them. 

“There’s nothing we can do. Colin is stuck with his family in New York, and we promised we would take care of him.” 

“Yeah, for a week! Not for six freaking months!”

“Tobes, you have a commitment to this thing. You have to watch out for it. So for now, you are officially a ferret daddy,” Leif said while holding back a smirk. 

Tobin just glared at his friend.

“I don’t think ferrets are supposed to live in bird cages for months on end.” Leif commented from his spot on the couch. Tobin was busy rearranging the ferret’s living space to accommodate for him being a long term resident. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t just have ferret cages laying around.” Tobin snapped. 

“Why do you have a bird cage laying around?!” 

“I-” Tobin started.

“Hold on.” Leif pulled out his phone. “I think I’m going to want this on tape.” 

“For your vlog?” Tobin asked mockingly.

“The viewers need to know.” Leif cleared his throat and put on a dramatic announcer voice. “So tell us, Tobin, why do you have a bird cage laying around?”

Tobin rolled his eyes. “A few years ago, I got a pet bird. After two weeks of having said bird, I decided I wasn’t cut out for bird ownership so I… I gave the bird away.” Tobin hoped his hesitation wasn’t visible on camera. He hadn’t actually given the bird away. He let it free, but moments after realized it was definitely not a native species. It’s haunted him ever since. 

Tobin snaps out of his bird-guilt to see Leif cackling on the couch. “I had forgotten about that! Dude, you were so bad at taking care of that stupid thing, I’m suprised it didn’t just die.” Leif glances over to where Greyskull the ferret was sitting. “Let’s hope the same thing won’t happen with the ferret.”

“It won’t.” He’s determined to make certain of that. 

“Good.” Leif turns off the camera and puts his phone away before leaning back and watching Tobin continue to move ferret equipment around. Tobin could feel his eyes tracking him, and he had to fight back a blush. He glanced over at his best friend, who was watching with a smile smile that Leif reserved only for Tobin. 

Tobin quickly turned around as he felt his cheeks warming. The beginning of months of quarantine probably wasn’t the greatest time for your best friend to find you’ve been in love with him for years. 

“Tobes hurry up!” Leif called. “The work call starts in five minutes!” 

“I still don’t see why we can’t do this from two different computers.” Tobin replied from his bedroom, rushing to make himself look presentable.

“Because it’s stupid, bro. Everyone knows we live together, and it’s going to get annoying if we’re just talking over each other from different rooms.”

“Okay, fair.” Tobin slides down the hallway and collapses on the couch. He very nearly crashes into Leif, but he manages to stop himself, luckily. 

They log on to the zoom meeting, and Tobin has to stop himself from thinking about how couple-y they look on the camera. Jesus christ dude, you need to stop pining, he tells himself. 

Joan lets them onto the call, and there’s an awkward minute where it’s just her and the two of them. Leif is staring at the ground and Joan staring at her wall. Against all better judgement, Tobin makes a sarcastic comments. 

“Lover’s quarrel, huh?” He regrets it as soon as Leif turns to look at him with hurt in his eyes. He’s about to apologize when Zoey and Max join the call. 

“Hey guys!” Zoey says, and suddenly Joan and Leif perk up.

“Hi Red, ‘sup Max!” Tobin says, ignoring Leif’s stiff body beside him.

“So Tobin, I hear you’re stuck with a ferret.” Max comments, holding back a laugh.

Tobin whips around, staring at Leif. “Max watches your vlog?!” 

Leif just shrugs. “I gave him the password a while back, figured it couldn’t hurt.” 

“Now the whole office gets a glimpse into my private life!” Tobin didn’t know why he was upset about this. He was a pretty open person, he barely shut up about his private life at work anyway.

“Hey, it’s my private life. You just happen to live with me. Why are mad about this?” Leif’s eyes flicked briefly to the computer screen, where it was still just Max, Zoey, and Joan, staring awkwardly at the interaction.

Just as the boys were staring daggers at each other, ready to keep fighting, Joan spoke up. 

“Lover’s quarrel, huh?” The sarcasm and pride in her voice was obvious.

“Wh- I- no!” Tobin stammered, not daring to look at Leif. He stared at the screen, where he saw Max mouth lovers? to Zoey, who promptly elbowed him in the ribs. 

Luckily, right then, a bunch of the other SPRQ point employees joined the call, and the five who were previously there ignored the argument from before as they talked about work things. 

Tobin payed no attention to what was happening, he was too busy staring at Leif from the corner of his eye. Leif didn’t seem mad anymore, just his normal awkward and nerdy self as he talked about the coding projects they were planning to start from home. He laughs at something Max says, and Tobin fights back a smile. Nothing makes him happier than hearing Leif laugh. He notices that his friend’s hair is already getting longer after three weeks stuck at home. It’s curlier, more floppy in the front. He also hasn’t shaved in a few days, and his mini-beard is adorable. Tobin briefly thinks about how much he wants to run his hands through that hair, but then remembers they’re on a work call and he should probably stop that train of thought right there. 

Before he knows it, the call is over. Hopefully he didn’t miss too much, but if he did, he can always ask Leif. 

Leif, however, gets up silently and moves toward the kitchen. Suddenly Tobin remembers the argument they were having. He shoots up from the couch and rushes towards the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry, bro.” 

“Sorry for what?” Leif asks, clearly playing dumb.

“For saying that thing about you and Joan. For getting upset about the vlog thing. For…” Tobin pauses before finishing, “... for what Joan said about us.”

“Ah,” Leif says, holding tight to the glass he’s grabbed from the counter. Neither of them say anything for a moment, and the silence is deafening to Tobin. 

“Look dude, I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn’t have brought up the thing with Joan, I know you’re still pining over her or whatever-”

“I’m not,” Leif interrupts. 

You’re not? There’s a flutter of hope in Tobin’s stomach, but he pushes it down. “Well, regardless, I shouldn’t have said that. And I don’t know why I got so upset about Max watching your vlog. I guess I’m just self-conscious sometimes, no matter how much I act the opposite. And I like having moments that are just between the two of us sometimes.” Tobin really hopes Leif didn’t read into that last part the way he just did as he said it. 

“That makes sense.” Leif bites his lower lip before adding, “what about the last part?”

“What?”

“The last part of your apology. About what Joan said.”

“Uh, I guess she just said it because she was mad at me for saying it about you guys? She saw an opportunity and she took it. She probably only said it because we were arguing like an old married couple. Not that we act like an old married couple. We don’t. It’s just, y’know, we live together, and we were arguing, so we’ve got those two key ‘old married couple’ traits down. But not any of the other ones, not like being in love or married or a couple-”

“Jesus, Tobes, take a breath.” Leif chuckled. “It’s totally fine that she said that, I just was wondering what you thought about it.”

“Oh?” Tobin fights the urge to melt into the floor as a way to forget everything he just said. 

“Yeah. Like you said, we live together, plus we’re both bi, so there’s not really any offense in the joke.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, totally.” Tobin still feels like melting into the floor. He’s saved from doing that, however, when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

“It’s from Zoey.” He says, mostly to himself. He’s a bit confused. Zoey doesn’t text him much, and when she does it definitely not to say We need to talk. “I think I should answer this.” Tobin walks into his room and locks the door, leaving a confused Leif behind him.

“Hey?” Tobin had barely begun to dial the phone when Zoey answered.

“Hi Tobin.”

“Hi?” Tobin’s even more confused than he was before.

“How are you doing?” Zoey’s voice is strained.

“I’m fine?” Tobin can deal with a few more polite greetings before he snaps and asks Zoey what the heck is up.

“How are things with Leif?” Zoey asks, sounding nervous, which makes Tobin nervous. What is she thinking about me and Leif?

“Good, good. Just chillin’ in quarantine, y’know.” Tobin’s started to pace around his room now. 

“Cool.” There’s a long silence from Zoey’s end.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, you know, sometimes when people, uh, spend a lot of time together…” Zoey trails off and Tobin can almost picture her gesturing vaguely.

“Yeah?” Tobin prompts.

“When people spend a lot of time together… sometimes feelings can develop.” Zoey finishes.

Tobin ignores the pit in his stomach and decides to play dumb. “I’m not going to murder Leif, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“What?! No! I mean…” He can hear Zoey take a deep breath. “Tobin are you in love with Leif?”

Tobin hangs up. 

She calls again. 

He declines.

She calls again.

He declines.

She texts him.

He blocks her number. 

Tobin collapses on his bed. How the hell did she know? It’s not like he and Zoey are best buds. There was that one time she helped him out with the Spelliversary drama, but that’s the extent of their close conversations. And now she hasn’t seen him in weeks, and it only takes one zoom call for her to figure out he’s been in love with Leif for fifteen years?! He screams into his pillow before flopping over and staring at his ceiling. His eyes trace the stars stuck to the wall, flitting over the sharpied-in constellations, and trying desperately not to think about Leif or Zoey.

There’s a knock on his door. “Tobes?” 

Tobin just groans.

The knocking intensifies. “Tobin, please open the door.” Tobin really doesn’t want to, but there’s a desperation in Leif’s voice that he can’t say no to.

He flops off the bed and unlocks the door. “What is it, bro?”

Leif hands his phone to Tobin. “Zoey ne-”

Tobin slams the door in his face.

Before he has time to lock it, however, Leif tries to open it again. Tobin makes a worthy fight against his weight and the door, but eventually his taller friend manages into the room. Leif closes and locks the door and hands the phone to Tobin. 

“Talk.” He says.

Tobin sighs. “Fine.” He gestures to the door. “Leave.” 

“What? No! Dude, you think I trust you to be alone with my phone? I don’t want you seeing everything that’s on there. Plus, you’ll just hang up again, and I for one don’t want my manager’s number blocked on my phone.”

Tobin tries desperately to think of something to say, any reason for Leif to leave other than the truth. But he can’t. And the longer he waits, the more suspicious he seems. So he puts the phone to his ear. 

“Oh hey Zoey, what’s up?” 

“Ok I really want to take the time to be mad at you for blocking my number, but I don’t have the time and Max is mouthing at me to get to the point.”

“Uh huh, okay.” Tobin is trying to act nonchalant. 

“So… are you in love with Leif?” She asks and Tobin prays to any and every existing deity that Leif can’t hear through the phone.

Tobin isn’t sure what to do. He’s strangely scared of Zoey, in all of her five foot tall, quarantined miles away from him, glory. Something about her is making him want to tell the truth. Time for Tobin to pull out those rusty acting skills from when Leif convinced him to do the high school play.

“Uh, yeah, I love watermelon. Why do you ask?” Tobin tries not to cringe as Leif looks at him confused. Watermelon?!

“Tobin, what the-”

He interrupts her. “Leif’s here too, do you wanna ask what he thinks?”

He hears Zoey gasp through the other line. “Ohhh. Um, so, you love Leif. Watermelon. Whatever. How long have you liked him? Are you gay? I didn’t know you were gay. I’m asking too many questions. Sorry. This is hard to do over the phone.”

Tobin sighs. “I’ve been a fan of watermelon since high school.”

“High school?! That’s a long time.” 

“It sure is.” Tobin tries not to stare at Leif, now distractedly fiddling with trinkets on Tobin’s cluttered desk. “Oh and since you asked, I don’t just… love watermelon. I’m also a fan of… grapes.” Tobin hopes this isn’t too confusing of a metaphor for bisexuality for Zoey to grasp.

“So you’re bi?” Zoey asks, catching on. Guess she’s smarter than Tobin thought, although considering she manages their company, he probably should have figured that out. 

“Yeah.” Tobin can’t believe he’s coming out to Zoey Clarke, of all people. And in the worst possible way, too. 

“Cool, cool. So are you planning on telling Leif?”

“No. Too much work, dude. Don’t want to fuck things up, y’know?”

“I know it’s not my place to say so-” Tobin scoffs. It wasn’t her place to ask about this in the first place. “- but I really think you should tell him. It might make things easier, you wouldn’t have to hide your feelings. Then you can… you can love him with no strings attached.”

Tobin freezes for a moment. That sounds familiar. But he can’t remember how right now, and he’s too concerned with other more pressing issues to think of it. 

“I’ll think about it.” He says, lying. He won’t even consider telling Leif. He’s gone on pining for fifteen years, where’s the fun in stopping now?

“Good. That’s good, Tobin. I’m glad you told me.”

“Didn’t have much of a choice, did I?” He mumbles. Zoey chooses to ignore this. 

“Hey, how about you unblock my number and we can talk some more when Leif’s not there. Only if you want to, of course.” She adds the last part on as an afterthought, seeming to remember that forcing people to talk about their secret gay crushes probably isn’t the smartest idea.

“Sure. Thanks, Zoey. Bye.” He hangs up. Scared, he looks up at Leif, now sitting on Tobin’s desk (that gay disaster). 

“What the hell was that about, bro?” Leif asks.

“Oh, just… y’know… girl things.” And with that, Tobin leaves his room.

Leif doesn’t bring up the phone call again until after dinner, when Tobin is preparing popcorn for their movie night.

“So dude,” Leif calls from the couch. “What was that call with Zoey about?”

“I told you already.”

“No you did not! ‘Girl things’ is not a valid answer.”

Tobin brings himself and the popcorn to the couch, sitting down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Please…” Leif turns to Tobin and rests his head on his shoulder, giving him puppy dog eyes. 

Tobin shoves Leif off of him. “That’s not fair, man, you know I can’t resist you when you give me that face.”

Leif smiles. “Exactly. Come on, man, it can’t be that bad. And no matter how good of an actor you think you are, I know that it wasn’t about watermelon. There’s no way you blocked our boss’ number over watermelon.” 

Tobin tries desperately to think of something believable that’s not the truth. “She wanted help with relationship advice.”

Leif looks concerned. “Is everything ok with her and Max?”

“Oh yeah, they’re fine it was about… her brother.”

“I thought her brother was married?” 

Damn Leif for knowing so much about Zoey’s personal life. “He is! Her older brother, that is. Her younger brother is unmarried and struggling with dating.”

“And she asked you about this?”

“Don’t look so surprised, bro. There’s just something about me that makes people want to open up to me about romance.” Tobin waggles his eyebrows at his friend.

“I’ve known you since third grade and I’ve never once wanted to open up to you about romance.”

“That’s bullshit, man. I was the one who helped you realize you were bi. That’s helping you with romance if I ever saw it.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to. You were just my only friend, and therefore my only option. If I had a choice I would have chosen someone way cooler than you to open up to.”

Tobin glares at him. “Just shut up and watch this movie with me.”

***

Leif knew Tobin was lying. He knew Tobin, and he knew Zoey, and he knew that there was no way the two of them would join forces for relationship advice. But he also knew when Tobin was getting anxious, and he could tell his friend was not ready to tell Leif the truth. So he doesn’t press it.

Leif has an interesting relationship with movie night. On one hand, he loves it. Curling up on the couch with popcorn and his best friend to watch a cheesy movie? That’s basically heaven to Leif. Although heaven might have a few more sketchbooks, and Bob Ross videos, and cardigans, and pretty people complimenting his genius.

One the other hand, movie night was hell for Leif. Tobin always made obnoxious commentary, and threw popcorn at the screen, and laughed way too hard at funny scenes, and cried at emotional scenes. 

And it was simple things like this that made Leif fall more in love with Tobin. So movie night was basically a weekly reminder for Leif that he was absolutely whipped for his best friend and had done nothing about that fact for over ten years.

Halfway through the movie, Leif starts feeling tired. In all honesty, he’s only a little bit tired. But he always plays it up so that every movie night he’s overcome with exhaustion and has no choice but to fall asleep on Tobin’s lap or shoulder.

Okay, so maybe he has a bit of a problem. But hell, this is the only opportunity Leif has to cuddle with Tobin and he will exploit it to the best of his ability, damn it!

So Leif lays his head on his friend’s shoulder, smiling as he doses off, lost in the smell of Tobin’s hoodie.

 “Tobes, I’m going fucking insane.” Leif announces, collapsing on their kitchen table. 

“Ok. What else is new?” Tobin asks him from where he’s sitting eating cereal.

Leif lifts his head a bit. “I’m not kidding. It’s been six weeks of this shit and it’s still only the beginning. I’m way ahead in work so I have nothing to do, I’ve been drawing more than I ever have and my hand is cramping from filling two sketchbooks already, my hair is longer than I’ve ever wanted it to be, and this damn ferret is driving me crazy!”

Tobin nods. “I see. Well, this will take care of the hair problem for you.” He hands Leif what appears to be a hot pink sparkly scrunchie.

Leif takes it tentatively. “What on earth is this?”

“What does it look like? It’s a scrunchie. I’m already rocking one, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Only then does Leif look up fully and realize that Tobin is, in fact, ‘rocking’ a scrunchie. His long brown hair is half-tied up in a weird Sokka-from-Avatar-the-Last-Airbender type look. 

“You look absolutely ridiculous.” Leif says. And cute, he thinks, but would never admit out loud. Because it’s weirdly true- the neon green hair tie look somehow makes Tobin even cuter. 

“And you can too! Just wear it, at least your hair will stop falling in your eyes.”

“I’m not wearing it. Why do you even have these?” Leif hands the scrunchie back to Tobin, who puts it around his wrist.

“Believe me, bro. You do not want to know.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Leif stands to get himself a bagel.

“Oh and by the way, don’t you dare disrespect my son, Sir Greyskull the Brave.” Tobin stares lovingly at the ferret.

Leif rolls his eyes. “I miss start of quarantine Tobin, who wouldn’t shut up about how much he hated the ferret.”

“Leif, don’t be rude. He’s grown on me, and he should grow on you too.”

“I’m never going to let a ferret grow on me.” Leif remarks as he returns to the table with his bagel. “But seriously, dude, I need things to do.” 

“Okay…” Tobin looks contemplative. “How about after we both finish work for the day, we play some old-fashioned, kids-sleepover party games, just the two of us. You know, truth or dare, two truths and a lie, never have I ever, stuff like that. But since we’re not kids, we can play it the fun way: with booze.”

Leif realizes the endless ways this could go wrong- getting drunk with your crush and playing truth or dare? That’s a high-school level bad decision right there. But he’s too bored to say no.

“Sounds good to me.”

Leif, of course, finishes work around four in the afternoon. Tobin, on the other hand, has been procrastinating his work for weeks and still isn’t done by seven. So Leif decides to fix dinner. Might as well have a nice meal together before they get absolutely wasted and Leif admits things he doesn’t want to admit. 

Tobin finally comes out of his room a little before eight, just as Leif is setting the stirfry he made on the table.

“Oh, sweet, food!” Tobin sits down and starts eating.

“Yes, I figured I might at least do something with the hours I’ve spent waiting for you to finish.”

“Hey!” Tobin says with a mouth full of food. “At least I did the work!”

“That’s true, but if you had done any of the work throughout the week, you wouldn’t have to spend so long on it.”

“Yeah, well, where’s the fun in that?”

Leif sits down and takes a bite. “Oh, of course, how could I forget. Nothing screams fun like putting work off until the last possible minute.”

“See, this is why you went to some fancy college while I went to jail!” 

Leif stares at him. “One of those things is considerably better than the other, and I’ll tell you right now, it’s not jail.”

“Doesn’t matter now, does it? We both have the same job, and you’re only a little bit higher ranking than me. But let’s be real, that’s probably only because you fucked the boss.”

“Shut up.” Leif says, and he means it. He hates when Tobin brings up his whole fling with Joan. It’s been over a year, and Leif has made it abundantly clear that he’s over it and doesn’t want to talk about it, but Tobin doesn’t listen. Nothing’s worse than the guy you love constantly bringing up your bad past relationships.

“I’m not wrong though-”

“Tobes.” Leif looks up from his plate. “Please just drop it.”

“Okay! I’m sorry I brought it up, I was just trying to make a joke.”

“Whatever. Just… don’t do it again.”

They eat in silence for a while, and Leif’s worried that he’s crushed the vibe of the evening.

“So, Tobes, how much are you planning to drink tonight?”

“All of it.” Tobin replies.

“All of our alcohol?” It’s not that it’s that much- they don’t keep a lot of drinks at home, since they usually just go out to bars. But they can’t do that anymore. 

“Yep. It’s been too long since I’ve been drunk.”

“Okay, you make a fair point, but I raise you this point: if you drink all we have right now, you have to suffer however many more months we’re stuck in here sober.” 

Tobin pauses for a minute- he clearly hadn’t thought of that. “Ah, fuck that. We can buy more online or something. Live in the moment, bro.”

Right. Live in the moment. Leif gulps. This isn’t going to end well. 

Well, Leif was definitely living in the moment. At least, that would explain why he’s opening his mouth and asking Tobin, “ok, ok. What’s… what’s a secret you’ve never told anyone before?”

Leif lifts his head from where it’s laying on the couch so he can judge Tobin’s reaction. It’s three hours after dinner and they’re both plastered.

“Uh…” Tobin takes a while to respond, and Leif can’t tell if he’s nervous about the question or just too drunk to think.

When Tobin still doesn’t respond, Leif starts to panic. He may be drunk but he can still remember how stupid a question that is to ask your crush. 

“Oh! I’ve got it!” Tobin finally answers. “So… y’know the bird I had? For two weeks?” His words are slurred.

“Yeah?” Leif is both relieved and disappointed that the answer is about a bird.

“I didn’t give it away.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t give it away like I said I did. I set it free.”

Leif pauses for a moment, then bursts into laughter. “You set it free?! Dude, that’s an exotic bird!”

“Well I realize that now!”

“Tobes, what if you accidentally created a mutant species of a tropical bird and a-whatever birds live in San Francisco! You could be famous but for, like, a really bad reason.” Leif can’t stop laughing.

“I know that! I’ve been haunted by my actions for years! That’s why I’ve never told anyone!”

“Bro, how are you sober enough to say haunted by my actions? That’s fancier than you usually talk, let alone after however many drinks you’ve had.”

“Maybe the alcohol powers me. I should have it more often.”

“Yes, do, maybe you’ll admit more bird-related crimes.” Leif says, still through fits of giggles. He slowly sits up and flops on the other side of the couch, his head almost touching Tobin’s legs.

“I really hope you don’t remember this tomorrow morning.” 

“Oh I will. Trust me, I will.”

“It’s my turn to ask a question, right?” Tobin asks.

“Yeah, though I doubt you can get me to admit something that will top your bird confession.”

“Well, what about you?” Tobin asks suddenly.

“What about me?”

“What’s a secret you’ve never told anyone?”

And maybe it’s just for Leif, maybe the drink is going to his brain, but it seems to him that the whole mood shifts dramatically as Tobin says that.

He has an answer, of course. And the part of his brain that’s still sober knows he can’t say it out loud.

But a much larger part of his brain is drunk, and drunk Leif tends to speak impulsively. Drunk Leif tends to do things like sing an Air Supply song to his ex. 

Drunk Leif is opening his mouth. 

Drunk Leif is saying, “I’m in love with you.”

There’s a long pause, and the realization of what he just did is setting in. Leif sits up and turns so he’s face to face with Tobin, who has a blank expression.

Finally, he speaks. “... well that tops my bird confession.”

“Tobin, I-”

Leif doesn’t have time to finish before his friend is kissing him.

Sober Leif would pull away. Sober Leif would talk through his feelings, and ask Tobin how he felt, and take things slow.

But Sober Leif isn’t here.

Which possibly explains how the next thing he knows, it’s morning, and he’s still on the couch. And Tobin is sleeping on top of him. And neither of them are wearing a shirt.

Well, shit.

Leif tries to move out from under Tobin without waking him, because he’s currently far more concerned with his throbbing headache than the fact that he made out with his best friend last night.

Of course, Tobin wakes up anyway. He stares sleepy-eyed at Leif, who’s putting on his crumpled up shirt.

“Where- what-” Tobin looks around before running his hand through his bedhead. “Fuck, did we-”

“I’m going to get some food and water.” Leif says, not looking at Tobin. He goes to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water, but Tobin is still talking despite Leif’s obvious signs that he doesn’t want to talk.

“Dude, come back here, we should tal-”

“I’m going to check my email.” Leif says, rushing into his room and locking the door behind him.

Leif falls on the bed and screams into a pillow. 

Fuck!

He’s tempted to just close his eyes and fall back asleep, ignoring the pain and the consequences of his actions.

And he may have done just that, had it not been for the incessant knocking at his door. 

“Go away!” Leif shouts, still muffled by the pillow. 

“Dude, just open the door. You’re acting immature.” Had Leif not been so hungover, he would have laughed at that. He’s the immature one?!

He continues to ignore Tobin, and once again almost dozes off but then he hears the door swing open.

He sits up very slowly and turns around. “How did you get in here? I locked the door!”

Tobin holds up a paper clip and grins. “I hacked into the CIA, do you really think I wouldn’t know how to pick a lock?”

“Well, you’ve never done it before, how was I to know?”

“That’s because,” Tobin sits on the corner of Leif’s bed. “I usually try to give you your privacy. But I thought that this situation was more important than your privacy.”

“Gee, thanks.” Leif sits up a bit more, clutching to the bedsheets to avoid getting dizzy. “You seem surprisingly sober.” Leif remarks.

“Yeah well, I handle my alcohol better than you. Plus I’ve been hungover way more than you, so I’m more used to it. Plus-” Tobin stops talking abruptly and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Plus what?” Leif asks, suddenly also feeling a lot more sober. Tobin doesn’t respond, and the longer the silence between them grows, the more Leif remembers last night’s events. “Tobes, plus what?” He asks again, more desperate this time.

Tobin takes a deep breath. “Plus having the love of your life say he likes you too and kiss you back tends to clear your mind.” 

“The… I… what?” Leif can’t process anything that Tobin just said to him.

Tobin looks up at Leif with fear in his eyes. “Okay, well maybe love of my life is a bit dramatic, but it has been fifteen years, so it’s not that far off.”

Leif still doesn’t respond.

“...Oh.” Tobin says in a small voice. “Well, if you don’t actually- if you- if that was just a drunk Leif thing, if you… didn’t mean it… that’s fine.” The way his voice cracks shows that it’s clearly not fine. 

Leif thinks his brain is broken. 

Tobin stands from the bed and shakily moves towards the door, but luckily Leif’s mind and ability to move kick back in right then.

“Wait!” He tries to stand up but falls on the floor. So much for that ‘ability to move’ thing. 

Tobin turns around and despite the hurt expression he’s still wearing, he laughs a bit. “Bro, are you ok?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just hungover. And in shock.” Leif stands up again and rubs his head. “But please, wait. Sit back down.”

Tobin does so, even though he still looks like he desperately wants to leave.

“Tobes…” Leif starts. This would be a lot easier to do if he wasn’t in immense amounts of pain. “It wasn’t just a drunk Leif thing. I mean, sober Leif wouldn’t have done it, but that’s just because he’s a coward. It doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it.”

Tobin looks up, a small smile on his face. “Yeah?”

Leif smiles too. “Yeah.”

They both look down, smiles still on their faces, blushing.

“So…” Leif says after a while. “Fifteen years, huh?”

“I… uh, yep.” Tobin says. “Ever since eighth grade, when you showed up to that stupid school dance in that stupid baby blue suit, and tiny Tobin just went ‘shit, do I like guys?’ and then tiny Tobin grew into slightly larger Tobin and went ‘yep, I definitely like guys, specifically the guy who’s been my best friend since third grade’ and then slightly larger Tobin grew into an even bigger Tobin who decided that fact was very embarrassing and he should never tell it to anyone and then even bigger Tobin grew-”

Leif cut him off with a small kiss.  “I think I get the point, Even Bigger Tobin.” He says, laughing.

“Oh no, I’m not even bigger Tobin, I’m biggest Tobin. Even bigger Tobin was sometime around college.”

“Of course, my bad.” Leif laughs. He nudges Tobin with his knees. “You’re smitten, you loser.”

“Well you don’t seem very… whatever the opposite of smitten is yourself.”

Leif smiles at him. “I’m not. It’s been a bit over ten years on my end.”

Tobin does a double take. “Over ten years?!”

“Yes?” Leif answers, confused. 

“You’re telling me I could have been gettin’ some of this for over ten years?!” Tobin gestures to Leif’s whole body, and Leif tucks into himself, self-conscious. 

“I’m not quite sure I would word it like that, but… yeah? I guess?”

“Jesus.” Tobin shakes his head, looking disappointed. “I should have just said something.”

“I should have too.” Leif says quietly. “But hey, it only took me ten years, quarantine, and copious amounts of alcohol.”

“I should get you drunk more often.” 

“You don’t need to get me drunk anymore. You have me.”

Tobin smiles. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Tobes?” 

“What?”

Leif leans in and kisses him. “Let’s make up for lost time.”

***

“Hey,” Leif starts, sitting down at the table where Tobin is already eating. It’s the day after The Big Confession™, as Tobin has decided to call it.

“Hey?”

“Don’t think that just because we’re dating now it means I’ve forgotten about your secret life as a bird criminal.” Leif smirks at him. 

“Oh, geez.” Tobin forgot that he admitted that.

“And I will turn you into the authorities if need be.” Leif adds with a faux-serious face.

“Really? And betray your own boyfriend like that?!” Tobin doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to using that word.

“Sorry, babe. I care more about the good of bird-kind.” Leif stands to get food and stops to kiss Tobin’s forehead. It takes all of Tobin’s self control not to melt. 

“Hey, you know we have a work call in an hour, right?” Tobin asks, leaning his head back over his chair so he can see Leif.

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Well, I was just wondering how we act. Y’know, now that… yeah.”

“You have such a way with words.” Leif says sarcastically, returning to the table. “But since you asked, I wasn’t planning on saying anything. They’re our coworkers, they don’t need to know about our dating lives.”

“I just thought I should tell Zoey.”

Leif raises an eyebrow. “Zoey? Out of all the people we work with, Zoey would be the last one I would think to tell.”

“It’s just, she…” Tobin pauses. “Remember the watermelon call?”

“Of course.”

“It wasn’t about watermelon. And it wasn’t about her brother’s dating life, or whatever bullshit excuse I came up with. It was about us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah. Zoey asked if I liked you. I still have no idea how she knew, or why she thought it important enough to call me about, but she did. So I feel like I should tell her.”

Leif sighs. “If you want to tell her, go ahead. But I’m never sharing anything with Zoey Clarke unless I’m forced to.”

“Dude, she’s not really that bad, you know. When you and I were in that weird fight, she was actually pretty nice to me, in her own awkward way.”

Leif sighs again. “Yeah, but it’s been fun to have a workplace rivalry for as long as I have. I don’t want to give it up now.”

“Geez, babe, you’re petty.” 

“And you’re pretty.” Leif says, staring at him with fondness in his bright blue eyes. Tobin blushes.

“That was barely an opening.”

“And yet…” Leif grabs Tobin’s arm and pulls him in for a kiss. “I took it.”

Tobin doesn’t know why he’s nervous for the call. There’s nothing obviously different about the way he and Leif are sitting or how they look in the camera. It’s the same as last time, squished together awkwardly in front of the camera. Maybe that’s the difference. They don’t look awkward anymore. They look happy to be this close. Is it obvious to others or is Tobin just overanalyzing the situation?

“Tobes, chill out, I’m about to join the call.”

“I’m chill!”

Leif gives him a look. “No you’re not. You do realize it’s going to be way more obvious that something’s up with us if you’re visibly panicking.”

“Fine.” Tobin gestures at the computer. “Start the call.” 

Leif does, and this time the only people on are Zoey and Max, since Joan’s not involved with this particular meeting.

“Hi you two!” Zoey says, stopping whatever secret romantic conversation she was having with Max and paying attention to the new members of her call.

“Hi Zoey.” Tobin says tensely, and Leif nudges him subtly, another message for Tobin to chill.

“Hey.” Leif nods at them.

“Anything new with you guys?” Max asks, and Tobin mentally smacks his head, remembering that Max heard him and Zoey’s call, too. 

“Uhh…” Leif turns to Tobin and cocks his head. 

Tobin knows he said he wanted to tell Zoey about them, but he’s currently regretting saying that. 

He decides to go for a subtle approach.

“Not much.” Tobin says, winking, and taking Leif’s hand. He plops his head on Leif’s shoulder and feels his boyfriend relax. 

Zoey’s smile is wide. “Not much on our end either.” She says, although she presumably means it.

The rest of the call goes fine, Tobin lifts his head from Leif as soon as someone else joins, and although they keep holding hands under the view of the camera, no one seems to suspect anything.

“Hey,” Tobin says, once again putting his head on Leif’s shoulder as soon as the call is over.

“Hey what?” Leif asks.

“I just thought of a new way we can pass the time.” Tobin says with a smirk.

“Oh? What’s that?” 

“This.” Tobin says, moving so he’s sitting on Leif’s lap. 

“Oh?” Leif says again, blushing.

Tobin kisses him passionately. Like Leif said, they have a lot of time to make up for. And maybe, just maybe, they can make up fifteen years worth of missed kisses, and soft glances, and tender touches, and exploring each other’s bodies in the dark over the course of months stuck at home together.

***

“Two and a half months. Two and a half months!” Leif shouted to no one in particular. Tobin sticks his head out of their room- yes, their room. A week or so ago they decided it was pointless to have two rooms so Tobin’s room is more of a guest room/office now- and hollers to Leif. 

“I swear to god, if I come out there and you’re making more baked goods, I will throttle you!”

Leif smiles to himself. “Is that a threat or a promise?!” He calls back.

He can hear Tobin say. “There’s a time and place, dude.”

“Not in quarantine, there isn’t!”

“You are quite purposefully avoiding my baked goods accusation and I’m coming to the kitchen, so you better be hiding all evidence of cookies!”

Leif doesn’t bother trying to clean up the mess of a kitchen in front of him.

“I knew it!” Tobin shouts, startling Leif.

“I’m sorry, ok! It’s just, baking is fun, and very few things are fun anymore and I need something to do otherwise I’ll go crazy!” 

Tobin puts his hands over his ears. “I’m not listening! If I have to clean up flour from this kitchen one more time I’m going to lose it.”

Leif just crosses his arms. “What about that promised throttling?”

Tobin faux-lunges at him, and Leifs arms flash out and pull him in for a kiss.

Tobin pulls away after a moment. “You taste like cookie dough.” He kisses Leif again. “Could be worse, I guess.”

[fillingthescrapbook]

My State of Television

9-1-1 Lone Star

I started watching this last year and got hooked with the missing sister storyline. I grew to like the other characters as the season went on... maybe with the exception of Rob Lowe's character whose main character trait seem to just be vanity.

Although Liv Tyler wasn't able to come back this season because of the pandemic, I was still excited because they cast Gina Torres as her replacement. The first episode back was a little shaky, but I loved Gina's character. I loved that she was a mom, that she took a break from her job and is now a little hesitant if she's still the same person who took a break before-- It was great. It was relatable.

But after a few episodes I started to notice that the other characters seem to be getting side-lined. Sure we got a story about Marjan, a throwaway one with Paul, and now we're getting one with TK, but... I don't know... It just doesn't feel like a cohesive show anymore. I guess the missing sister storyline last season really carried the show a lot more than I thought.

And so I now cut my relationship with this show. It was fun when I enjoyed it, but I'm just not enjoying it anymore. Which brings me to:

Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist

Oof. I loved the first season. I liked the first couple of episodes this season too. And then... And then the characters just became terrible. Zoey and Max, specifically. Leif is somehow turning into Jonah from Superstore. Which isn't a dig on Jonah, but more of a dig on how Leif is being written. (Where is the driven and ambitious Leif of Season 1?) Tobin... Well, we did get a bit of development for Tobin during the last episode prior to the hiatus.

And speaking of that last episode... Was I the only one who felt it was a little heavy-handed? I loved the scenes with Simon, mostly because of how John Clarence Stewart gave his character and his delivery such gravitas. And that scene between Tobin and Zoey... But that's pretty much it. Well, I also liked that we didn't get a single relationship-related scene with Zoey and Max. I still feel like Max is the worst, but Zoey's neighbor/childhood friend comes a very close second.

I'm not completely giving up on this show yet, but... I am definitely losing interest. Especially if we get more storylines involving Danny Michael Davis. The way they turned his character around to becoming a Mark Zuckerberg with a conscience? I'm not here for it.

Honestly, I feel like the show lost its focus when it lost Mitch. I feel like the show needs to ground itself back to what made the first season work: Zoey's relationship with her family, and the universe trying to make her help people through musical numbers. Whatever did happen to that? Her powers just feel voyeuristic these past few episodes.

Superstore

Since I've already mentioned Superstore, I just want to say: still digging the episodes they're churning out. It still doesn't feel like we've entered the stretch of episodes that leads to the series finale, so I'm a little bit worried that we might not get a series of wrap-up episodes.

Then again: this is Superstore. If there's a show that could end without wrapping up any storylines: it's this one.

And speaking of finale seasons:

Mom

The show is ending as well. I'm sad. This is one of my comfort shows; one that I was so sure wasn't going to end anytime soon because the storylines are almost always great, and I love how they handle characters who are very flawed.

I just hope they were able to get enough of a head's up to wrap-up the storylines of all the characters. Although, right now, I think it's just Jill who still needs closure for her character. Bonnie and Tammy pretty much have their happy endings, and Marjorie does too... sort of. And Wendy... Well, Wendy never really has a storyline of her own.

And lastly;

Call Me Kat

I feel like the show finally got its groove. I've given up on the curtain call, even though I still wish they'd put the credits there. I still dislike it very much whenever Brigitte pops up. And I'm still not sold on the chemistry between Mayim Bialik and Cheyenne Jackson. I really think their characters are better of as friends, even more so now with the introduction of new love interest Oscar. Who, in my opinion, feels more fresh and has the same vibe as Kat.

The lessened appearance of Sheila, Kat's mom, also helps a lot for me, I think. Her character is one of the things that keep making me compare Call Me Kat to Miranda. And while I think Swoosie Kurtz is a great actress, I do not think her character is well thought out.

I'm cautiously optimistic that Call Me Kat will continue to improve. And that it will get renewed. Because I'm losing two of my favorite sitcoms this season, and nothing else on air has me interested.

[scullysexual]

Jewel Sequel: Chapter Two.

There’s been a change of plan. I was originally gonna get this out on the weekend (so it had a similar system to what Jewel had) but then I finished it and edited it today so the post day will either be late Wednesday/early Thursday and hopefully I’ll be able to stick to that schedule. Hi, hello, if you’re new to this. This can arguably be classed as a ‘Titanic au’ still cause it exists within that universe. This is a sequel to that and it is highly recommended to read A Jewel Beneath The Moonlight first, it’s not long, it’s thirteen chapters and if you’ve read my stuff before you’ll know my chapters/one shots are never long. You won’t regret reading it either. It’s been a while since I’ve been in this universe but most wanted me to continue with it so here you go. I do really hope you enjoy this as much as you did Jewel. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them :)

Tagging: @baronessblixen @suitablyaggrieved @purrykat @today-in-fic. As usual, let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters. 

Link to Chapter One.

Scully sighs in frustration as she turns the pages of the newspaper. It was the third one she had picked up so far and nothing; nobody advertising for any job, nobody looking for extra help.

She places the newspaper back on the rack, her hand hovering over the next before…

“We’re not a library. If you’re going to look through it, you better pay for it.”

Scully looks up to see an old man peering down at her from his stall.

Reluctantly, she leaves the fourth paper where it is and saunters over to the counter.

“Yes?” the man asks, warily.

“I was wondering if there had any job requests,” Scully answers, her elbows coming up to lean on the counter.

The man eyes her cautiously. “What kind of job?”

“Nanny, housekeeper, that sort of thing,” she shrugs.

With one last careful glance towards her, Scully watches with apprehension as he pulls a piece of paper off the wall and hands it to her.

“The Burkes came in a few weeks ago saying they were looking for a new housekeeper. They never came back to tell me they found someone so you can always check there.”

Scully looks at the yellowing paper. The address was not of a place she had heard of but it sounded upper class enough for them to have money so it was good enough for her.

“Thank you,” Scully says, exiting the shop. Too busy still reading the paper, she misses the sign If you read, you buy the man tapes onto the newspaper rack.

   Three knocks and she’s stepping back, praying that her appearance is presentable enough for this family to consider her.

Physical appearance had been everything with the other family; hair up, clothes tucked in, and not a single curl out of place. Scully’s curls always fell out of place, regardless.

She hears barking from the other side of the door and smiles. They have a dog.

Out the way, Bruce, she also hears before the door is opening and a boy no older than herself stands before her.

“Uh…can I help you?” the boy asks.

Smiling (just as she had been taught) Scully begins,

“Hi, uh…there was a housekeeper request made and I was wondering if it was still open?” She extends the note towards the boy and he looks down at it, looking as if he’s unsure as to what it is or what to do with it for a second before he’s taking it from her.

“Uh, yeah…just, hold on a minute.”

Scully nods, still smiling, as the door is placed on the latch and waits for him to return.

To say she was disappointed to being back in this position again perhaps wasn’t right. She knew even four months ago that there would have to be an adjustment period, and while her future turned out differently than she imagined before stepping onto the ship, career-wise, it wasn’t entirely off target.

The four months she had been here was really about allowing Mulder to settle. She knows how much of a drastic change this is for him, how important it was for her to be there when he came home every evening- she was his only familiarity anymore, after all- but Scully couldn’t shake away the feeling that maybe she had pushed her dreams too far back, all just to accommodate Mulder.

Had she still been here with Charlie, they would have found the swing of things fairly early on; him at some construction site, her in some upper-class house. And she wouldn’t have to try and get the weekend off.

Charlie…

It still stung to think of her brother.

The door reopens to an older woman, late 30s Scully assumes, holding the note Scully gave to the boy.

The woman looks her up and down. “You’re the help?” she asks, distastefully.

“Aye, ma’am,” Scully nods.

The woman sighs defeatedly. “I suppose you’re better than nothing.” She opens the door the little wider to allow Scully entrance. “Well, come on, then.”

Scully enters and immediately the dog bounding towards her, curious as to who this intruder is. She laughs as the gold Labrador slobbers all over her skirt, not minding at all as she pets the top of his head.

“Edward!” Mrs Burke shouts towards the rooms leading off. The boy who answered the door exits out of the nearest doorway. “Take the dog somewhere else.”

Edward moves towards the dog, gripping it by the collar and tugging it away from Scully. “Sorry,” he says sheepishly.

“You won’t need to worry about the dog,” Mrs Burke says, shutting the front door. “That’s Edward’s job. What did you say your name was?”

“Ingrid Brevik,” Scully answered.

The woman smiles slightly, a smile that tells Scully the woman knows she’s lying.

“You’re real name.”

Scully hesitates for a moment. They had been using their fake names since they got here, every new person they met they introduced themselves as Leif and Ingrid and nothing was said on the matter. Even when they had got to Ellis Island, they had been allowed to pass through immigration fairly easily.

“If will remain within this household if you’re scared,” Mrs Burke reassures.

And maybe Scully was scared. What if they knew the Mulders had been her first thought, was always her thought when meeting anybody. Scully knew first-hand what vultures these people were.

But what if not all of them were? Mulder certainly wasn’t.

“Dana Scully,” Scully finally answers.

Mrs Burke nods, “That sounds more like it. Come on, I’ll show you around.”

Scully gets a tour of the house. It’s easy enough to navigate, give her two days and she’ll be able to walk around with her eyes closed.

She’s finally led to where she’ll be staying. A room in the basement. Minimum furniture; a single bed, a set of drawers yet the added bonus is the small bathroom attached. The last house hadn’t had a bathroom and Scully had been forced to use the one they had outside.

“You’ll work from six to nine every day. Dinner is usually served at seven. Any meals you have are to be had after we’ve eaten. Yes?”

Scully nods.

“Any questions?”

Scully fumbles with her fingers, unsure of how to proceed.

“Um…I have one request, actually.” The woman looks at her, waiting. “Can I have Saturday to Sunday off?”

  An agreement was made. Monday to Friday she would work, for half the wage.

Scully hadn’t tried to bargain with Mrs Burke. She hadn’t been too impressed with Scully’s request but had granted it anyway once Scully explained Mulder. She may not have been truthfully honest, Mulder was far from inept and she had no doubt he could take care of himself if it really came down to it but needs must.

Now she had the task of actually telling Mulder, something she had been dreading since this idea first came to mind. Five days a week Mulder would have to learn to live without her which meant he had a few new skills to learn.

Scully braces herself at the sound of the door unlocking. It opens to reveal Mulder, worn out and dropping his sketchbook onto the floor. He looks over to her, smiling tiredly, taking off his shoes.

“Long day?” she asks.

Mulder smiles in agreement, placing the money jar on the table. Scully’s eyes fall to it and widen when she realises what sits inside.

A dark green dollar bill.

She brings the jar towards her, twisting off the cap.

Mulder is full smiles now, pulling out the opposite chair and sitting down.

“Took a bit of convincing, but I managed to con them into giving that over.”

She looks up at him disapprovingly. “Mulder! We agreed you weren’t gonna use any deceitful tactics.”

“Look, I only did it the once, and look what it got us,” he points to the bill she holds in her hand. “I promise I won’t do it often.”

Scully sighs, placing the note back into the jar and pushing it out of the way. “You won’t have to. I got a job.”

Mulder stares at her in surprise. “Really? Where?”

She slides the note she got from the newspaper stall over to him.

“It’s just a housekeeper. I work Monday to Friday but I get to be home for the weekend.” She smiles, hoping it’ll lift his spirits.

Mulder stares glumly at the note. “You won’t be here for five days.”

She reaches her hand out, grasping his. “But I get to be home every weekend, that’s something right?”

Mulder shrugs, his fingers playing with hers. “When do you start?”

Scully looks down at their entwined hands. “Monday.”

“Monday?” Mulder exclaims. “But what’s in two days.”

“Well, it’s better than starting tomorrow, isn’t it?”

Mulder looks glumly down at their hands. “I guess,” he mumbles. “Scully, how am I meant to survive five days without you here?”

Scully smiles, “I’ll teach you how to cook. That should keep you alive.” Another thought passes through her mind then, one she hadn’t thought about before this moment.

“Mulder, will you be okay at night? You know, with the nightmares and that?”

She watches him think for a moment, a flash of panic crossing his face. Often their nightmares consisted of something happening to the other, or just a memory of what happened that night, and when they would wake up, the other’s presence would soothe them, allow them to go back to sleep knowing the other was safe and alive next to them. With them both being separated, there was a worry that that safety, that comfort wouldn’t be there anymore.

“I’ll be fine,” he says, trying to sound like he was convincing them both. “What about you? I know you have them, too.”

Scully tried to be less vocal about hers. Sometimes, Mulder’s dreams would have her waking up- usually because Mulder’s woke her up- sometimes it was the only way he could really go back to sleep if he knew she was really alive. Scully would just cuddle closer to Mulder, listen to his breathing and fall asleep that way.

She grasps his hand tighter. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

It was going to be strange, being away from each other for so long. They had been in each other’s company since the day they met. They have never gone a day since that day without seeing each other at some point during the same day. Scully just prayed Mulder would be able to manage without her.

[jade4813]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Chapter 4

Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

Title: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Rating: PG (I’m assuming it’ll stay there?)

Pairing: Zoey/Max

Synopsis: Max would do anything for Zoey. Including posing as her fake boyfriend to give her father one last “big moment” to celebrate with her. Nothing could possibly go wrong. After all, it’s only his heart that stands to be broken. Right?

Chapter: 4/?

Author’s Notes: Takes place after Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“So, you want to go on a date tonight?” Max asked, wheeling his chair around the edge of her desk, his tablet balanced on his lap. He saw her shoot a quick glance towards Joan’s office and resisted the urge to follow her gaze. Joan had taken the news of their “relationship” in stride – though, given her current romantic situation, she couldn’t exactly do otherwise. However, she had exercised enough oversight to order that Max report directly to her for the foreseeable future, heading off any accusations of preferential treatment. Still, if they were going to sell the fiction of their relationship, Zoey and Max had agreed they needed to act like a couple, even at work. And that meant being seen going on dates.

And – if Max was very lucky – maybe even flirting in the hallways. But he was getting ahead of himself.

“Ah, sure,” she agreed. “That’d be great.” When she offered him a small smile, he returned the gesture and wheeled back around to his desk. Their first official fake-date. He couldn’t wait.

As it turned out, however, fate had other plans. With Tobin and Leif tackled the next phase for Chirp, it was up to Zoey and Max to troubleshoot the newest problem with the SPRQ Watch. A little after four, Joan called them into her office to notify them that the watch had developed its newest glitch: it was swapping heartrate and step counter data, leading to wildly inaccurate (and somewhat alarming) readouts for both. When she declared they weren’t to go home until it was fixed, Max inwardly groaned. So much for their date. Their fake-date, he corrected himself quickly.

But later that night, hunched over his computer with only Zoey for company, he decided the situation could have been worse. At least he got to be with her.

“You know, you don’t have to stay,” she called out to him, leaning back in her chair to stretch.

Max was a little taken aback by her offer, and he replied, “It’s all right. I’m happy to help.”

She threw him a slight grimace. “Max, please. It’s silly to ruin your whole night. I can take care of this; I think I’m pretty close to identifying the problem. It seems silly for us both to stick around.”

Although he wanted to argue, he changed his mind when he got an idea. “If you’re sure?” he asked, standing and reaching for his jacket.

Zoey looked a little surprised. “Of course I’m sure! Go on! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

But she wouldn’t have to wait that long. When he returned to the office twenty minutes later, she was sitting quietly at her desk, staring morosely at lines of code. “Max? What are you doing here? I thought you went home.”

He held up one of the two bags he was holding, and he saw the exact minute the smell of the food it carried made its way to her desk because her eyes went wide and she straightened in her chair. “You really thought I’d abandon you here by yourself? I thought you knew me better than that,” he chided her gently. “I went for a food run. I figured if we couldn’t go out for our date – our fake-date – then I’d bring our fake-date back here to us.”

“That’s…very thoughtful of you,” she remarked, though she hesitated and threw one last look at her computer screen.

He knew what she was thinking. “Give me five minutes while I set up in the conference room, but then you really need to take a break to eat. The glitch will still be there after dinner, but you won’t be if you pass out from hunger. Plus, brains work better with food.”

“I had food!” she protested, her voice following him to the conference room. “I got some chips from the vending machine earlier!”

“Cheetos are not food,” he called back over his shoulder, sliding the door shut behind him with his foot. Glancing at her desk one more time to make sure she hadn’t followed, he hurried to set the scene.

It took Zoey more like six minutes to find a stopping point in the code she was reviewing and make her way to the conference room, and when she did, he smiled at her gasp of surprise. “What is all this?” she asked.

He held her chair for her as she lowered herself slowly into her seat, looking at the meal he’d spread out before her. “Deli sandwiches from that place you like down the street. They were out of all the good sides, so I’m afraid I was stuck with kale chips.” He paused, considering, before acknowledging, “Which I’m not entirely sure are an actual food. But if we get desperate, I’m sure the vending machine still has some Doritos I can scavenge. I figured you were probably sick of coffee by now, so I got you a cup of hot tea with a little honey instead.” Just the way she liked it.

She nodded absently, as though she was still trying to take it all in. When he saw her finger the edge of the Happy Birthday tablecloth in amazement as he joined on the other side of the table, he threw her a wry look. “Okay, so the convenience store a couple blocks away was pretty low on options. But a first date requires a certain amount of panache. Even a fake one. And this was the best I could do under the circumstances.”

“It’s…amazing. No, really. It’s perfect,” she rushed to reassure him. “But are those really a good idea?” she asked, nodding at the cluster of birthday candles he’d stuck into two cupcakes – makeshift candelabra – in the middle of the table. Darting a cautious look towards the ceiling, she looked around for a sprinkler system.

“Oh, right,” he agreed quickly. He’d been so swept away by the idea for this impromptu date, that thought hadn’t occurred to him. “Maybe we should blow those out. Getting soaked would probably put a damper on the ambiance.”

Zoey picked up one of the muffins and handed him the other. Before blowing it out, however, she suggested, “What do you think? Should we make a wish?”

One corner of his mouth quirked upward. He already had everything he wanted. Well…almost. “Why not? I guess it is tradition.” He watched as she closed her eyes, pondering her own wish. In the faint light of the candles as they cast a soft glow around her face, Max thought she had never been more beautiful. Then she pursed her lips and exhaled quickly, extinguishing the flame.

When she opened her eyes again and saw his candles were still lit, she threw him a puzzled frown. “You didn’t make a wish?”

“I was waiting for you to go first,” he answered. It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t entirely the truth. He’d been too captivated by her to even remember he was holding candles of his own. “I didn’t want to take the chance that we’d confuse any potential wish-granting fairy if we both went at the same time.”

She pressed her lips together, trying not to reward his bad joke with a smile, and he closed his eyes. He didn’t have to ponder his wish. It was the only thing in the world that he really wanted. I wish… a voice in his mind whispered softly as he prepared to blow out the candles. I wish…

As they cleaned up after their meal, Zoey remarked, “There’s something I should probably tell you. I actually…well, I was afraid this would be weird. Going on a date with you. A fake date. Going on a fake date with you.”

He threw her a bland look. “Our first romantic fake-date is basically an impromptu birthday party that is somehow set nowhere close to either of our birthdays. That’s not weird?”

He answering bubble of laughter washed over him, sending shivers down his spine. “Okay, weirder,” she acknowledged. “This is actually…very sweet. I just thought, you know…we’ve been friends for a long time. I figured it would be awkward to transition that into a romantic relationship. Even a fake one. Didn’t you?”

Picking up a stray kale chip – which he was still convinced wasn’t real food – he popped it in his mouth as he shrugged. “Not really. I always figured the best relationships start with friendship. If the person you love is also your favorite person in the world, why would it be weird?” Not wanting to spoil the mood by reminding Zoey of the lingering shadow of his own feelings, he focused his attention on his empty chip bag, crumpling it into a tiny ball as he and joked, “I always thought it would be like hanging out with your best friend, only, you know, with more kissing.”

“Are we going to be doing that?” she asked softly, her words freezing him in his place. His arm had been lifted to toss his garbage towards the trash can, but he lowered it slowly to the table as he considered her question. “Kissing, I mean,” she clarified, though it was hardly necessary.

Max sighed, pulling his attention away from the mess as he met her eyes across the table. “Honestly? I don’t know.”

“I wouldn’t bring it up if it weren’t important,” she reassured him, skirting the edge of the table to stand by his died. “But when we were at dinner with David and Emily the other night, she started asking me questions when we were in the kitchen cleaning up.”

“Questions? What kind of questions?” he asked, surprised that she hadn’t mentioned it before.

She waved her hand in the air in a vague gesture. “Oh, I don’t know. Just…questions.” When he just stared at her, she huffed and admitted, “All right, so it kinda felt like a cross-examination, but she’s an attorney. You know how they are. I guess she thought we were acting a little weird.”

He frowned. “Weird how? You think she suspected the truth?”

Zoey looked down, her hands fiddling idly with a discarded napkin. “I don’t know. Maybe not that so much as…um…well, that our relationship may not be…going…well. I tried to explain that we just hadn’t been dating for very long so we were still in the awkward phase of our relationship, but I don’t know how long she’ll buy that.”

With a heavy sigh, Max ran a hand through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts. “Wow. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, I guess. And, anyway, I thought it probably wouldn’t matter because we would, um, get used to…everything before we saw them again. I’m not trying to push you or anything, if you don’t want to kiss me –”

“That’s not the problem,” he interjected, shaking his head. “The problem is that I do want to kiss you. And that makes this…complicated.”

“But does it have to be?” she asked in a small, pleading voice. “We don’t have to overcomplicate this. We can just think about it like…like shaking hands. But with our mouths.” She gestured vaguely at her lips, which didn't help his ongoing battle to not stare longingly at them, imagining what they would feel like to kiss.

“So, basically, it’s nothing like shaking hands,” he pointed out in a dry tone.

Her tone was apologetic as she explained, “Like I said, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

She had a point, and he knew it. But that didn’t make this any easier. “I…I’m trying, Zoey. Can you give me just a little more time?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Of course.” The silence that fell between them was uncomfortable, filled with all the things they weren’t ready to address between them. Finally, she took a step back and said, “Anyway, I should probably get back to work.”

He nodded, gesturing at the table. “Go ahead. I’ll come help you when I’m done cleaning up.” He leaned over to collect the rest of the trash, but when she disappeared around the corner, he straightened with a sigh.

He should have realized Emily wasn’t going to be easily fooled. She was a very sweet person, when you got to know her, but she wasn’t the most trusting soul on the planet. She was also very protective of the people she cared about. If anyone was going to greet their story with skepticism, it would be her.

Max grimaced as he tossed out the rest of their trash. He knew he needed to get past this. He just didn’t know how. How could he kiss her and not want it to be real?

Because it was for Mitch. Because the whole reason they were in a pretend relationship was to make him happy in his final days. If he wasn’t going to commit wholeheartedly to their charade, what was the point? It had been unfair of him to offer to be Zoey’s pretend boyfriend if he wasn’t willing to follow through.

Or was that just an excuse? He ignored the question.

“Zoey, wait!” Max called out, following her out into the main office area.

“Yes?” she asked, turning around. She was standing by the hanging wicker chairs, where she’d sung her heart song to him not long before, but he tried not to think about that.

He stopped a couple of feet away from her, feeling inexplicably awkward and unsure. “You’re right. There’s no point in doing any of this if I’m not willing to do what it takes to sell it.”

She hesitated. “Are you sure? I really don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do.”

Max bridged the distance between them. “I’m sure. If it’ll make Mitch happy, it’s worth it, right?” She nodded slowly. “But I think…it’ll probably be a little weird. Our first kiss, I mean. Maybe we should – ah – get it out of the way now. So that we seem more comfortable with each other when we’re in front of your family.”

Zoey blinked in surprise and took a half step back? “Really? I don’t know if that’s necessary –” she protested weakly.

“You think we should have our first kiss in front of Emily? That’s like putting chum in the water. There’s no way she wouldn’t pick up on it!”

After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded. “I see your point. Okay. If you’re – if you’re sure.”

Moving slowly, as if a sudden movement would scare her away, he reached up and cupped her face in his hands. “Close your eyes,” he whispered.

She did as he asked, then opened one eye and gave him a mildly suspicious look. “Why?”

Max grinned. Did she think he was going to prank her or something? “Because the first fake-kiss in a fake-relationship is very serious business. If you’re staring at me, I’ll get nervous and blow it, and then you’ll think I have terrible fake-kissing skills and fake-breakup with me,” he teased.

Biting back a smile, she closed her eyes again. Taking a moment to steady his breathing, he brushed his thumbs lightly across the high ridge of her cheekbones, down the soft skin of her cheeks, and along the curve of her jaw. He could do this. None of it was real. He just needed to remember that.

Leaning down, he hesitated when his mouth was inches from hers. The feel of her breath against his lips made him shudder with longing. It’s fake. None of this is real. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s all fake.

“Max?” she breathed, her voice soft and uncertain.

Before he could second-guess himself, he closed the distance between their mouths. It’s not real. He felt her lips part on a tiny gasp and moaned, one hand sweeping down her waist to her side as the other caressed the nape of her neck, toying with the soft curl of hair that wrapped around his fingers. It’s not real.

Her hands hovered above his chest, but when he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in, she fisted her hands in his shirt and clung to him. He felt her murmur something against his mouth and hesitated, but her hands swept up his chest to his shoulders. It’s not real, he reminded himself. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, sweeping her tongue against his lower lip in a silent invitation.

It was enough to shatter his self-control. Crushing her against him, Max lifted her off her feet as his lips parted and he poured all of the love he’d struggled to hide from her for years into his kiss. Zoey…oh, god. Zoey. He sucked her lower lip into his mouth, scraping it softly with his teeth. He couldn’t count the number of nights he’d spent thinking about her, fantasizing about her kiss. But even in his dreams had never captured the softness of her lips, the warmth of her breath.

She tasted like honey.

Zoey made a soft sound as he turned with her in his arms, and he smiled against her mouth. “God, Zoey, I –” he began. I love you. He caught himself before he could say the words that would reveal him. The words she didn’t want to hear. The reminder was like a splash of cold water, pulling Max out of his romantic haze.

It’s wasn’t real, he reminded himself.

But it felt real.

Embarrassed that he’d allowed himself to get carried away – and ashamed that he’d allowed himself to forget it was all an act, if only for a moment – he rushed to put her back on her feet and step away. His body nearly betrayed him, his hands reaching to hold her again, and so he shoved them into his back pockets and retreated another step.

Should he apologize? She had lifted her hand to her mouth, her fingers pressing against her lips as she stared at him with wide eyes. Unable to meet her eyes, he looked down, absently smoothing the wrinkles in his shirt caused by her hands. As he often did when he wasn’t sure what to say, he resorted to humor. “So, uh, that should do the trick, don’t you think? I can’t imagine even Emily would be suspicious after that.”

“No, I don’t think so,” she agreed softly.

He ran a hand through his hair, which he realized only belatedly had been mussed by her hands. “I should – should we get back to work, or -?”

“No! That’s okay!” she blurted, confirming his worst fears. He had crossed the line – if not with his actions, than with the way they betrayed his emotions, reminding her of feelings she didn’t want to face. “I’m almost done here, anyway. You can head out.”

His stomach sank. While he normally would have insisted he remain to help, he needed some distance from her. Not to mention time to get his head on straight. “Okay. Yeah. Right,” he mumbled. His hands still ached to hold her, and he didn’t trust himself not to give in to the urge, so he shoved them into his pockets as he turned to go.

It wasn’t real. It wasn’t.

At least…it hadn’t been for her. The problem was, it had been for him. So what was he going to do now?

[crystalelemental]

Ranking the Legendary Heroes - Water

Ah, the cursed season.  The season of additional movement, impossible to tank powerhouses, and unparalleled support.  God I fucking hate this season.

Let’s be clear, all of those things count in AI hands.  In your hands, it’s a cute little gimmick, but on defense teams, it’s all just bastardry.  Anyway, 7 Water legends, ranked by combat potential and effectiveness in Arena.

7) Ryoma.  Hey, if you ever wanted to know what a completely useless unit looks like, here you go.  Flying unit, no adjusted BST, only effect from the weapon is DC, B-slot is just Wrath for some reason.  I guess it’s not all bad.  Guidance is still good, and he has that as a C-skill, so like...that’s something to fodder him for.  At least his refine will be good?

6) Eirika.  Listen, I love Eirika, but oh my god with this.  Her weapon has some interesting effects, but only if she’s near more enemies than allies.  So away from team support again, great.  Sped up cooldown charge and extra defense is nice, but overall insufficient to manage her Book 2 cav BST.  Lunar Brace with Luna is hilarious as a gimmick, but that’s all it is, a gimmick.  Yes, you negate all their defense, and hit for her raw attack stat in damage, OHKOing pretty much everything in the game.  Was it worth it to run a unit so thoroughly outclassed?  No.  It was not.  Great speed and the ability to just deal absolute damage is cute, but she lacks any defensive presence, running Galeforce makes Lunar Brace worthless and takes away her entire niche, and Eliwood still exists in the common pool.  Sorry Eirika.  I love you, but there’s a reason you’re not finished as a merge project yet.

5) Fjorm.  Believe it or not, I think Fjorm has usefulness, even now.  It’s not...good usefulness, but it counts.  Ice Mirror is just a shitty Negating Fang, but it does work against ranged foes, which means it works against some of the other Water legends.  Sure, she’s going to deal 0 damage to Chrom and Leif’s second attack will blow her face off.  Sure, across seasons, Alm and Celica will annihilate her, and I doubt she can handle Julia either.  But she’s trying okay? 

4) Leif.  Okay, and like the flick of a switch, we have gone from utter disappointment to absolute horror.  Everything past this point should be considered one of the best units in the game without question, and a reason why Water season is outright intolerable.  Let’s start with our good pal Leif.  Leif is #4, technically the exact halfway point, not because he has any particular flaws, but because he’s not as disgusting as everyone else.  Leif is stupid good.  Brave Bow effect, and a signature special that gives him a second action, but restricts his movement to one.  Yeah, that’ll definitely stop him blowing my asshole out, thanks game.  Leif is stupid versatile, too.  Death Blow 4 with a Lull for max damage?  Push skill or Fury 4 with Escape Route to hit and run really effectively?  Close Counter/Vantage for dual phase bullshit?  Leif is stupid good.  Which makes it all the more horrifying he’s only number goddamn four.

3) Dimitri.  The most recent newcomer, and already making his awful, awful mark on the meta.  I don’t like Dimitri, his toolkit is ridiculous.  Speed-based damage reduction built into the weapon, on top of +5 to all stats, all for the low low price of being above 25% HP, the easiest HP threshold to maintain.  And that’s just the weapon.  Atrocity gives him omni-Smoke and Seal effect, for -5 to unit and all units in 2 spaces after combat.  Oh, and also it does Pulse Smoke.  Oh, and also, he gets true damage based on 25% of his attack stat, which cannot be reduced in any way.  Because balance!  Oh, and we threw in Odd Tempest, which is an infantry and flying skill that gives them an extra movement every odd-numbered turn.  Because why not!  Seriously, why only eliminate the use of armor units in the game when you can also render cavalry completely ineffective?  Just slap this shit on a melee dancer and bam, what the fuck is Duo Sigurd?  Dimitri is obscenity incarnate, a living monolith to everything wrong with powercreep in this game.  The only respite we have is that he can’t run Null Follow-Up, so a unit like L!Edelgard can, and will, body him.  Celica and a fast Julia also handle him well thanks to his low Res, but your options are limited even with cross-seasonal comparison.  Dimitri’s just disgusting and I hate his legendary form so much.  And again, this is only #3.

2) Chrom.  Listen.  Fuck this guy.  No one pisses me off quite like Chrom.  I think it’s the armor effectiveness.  If he didn’t have that, we could talk.  But no, he got armor effectiveness on top of getting like -9 attack and defense on foes all the time.  He’s excellently min-maxed, but has a superboon in speed that actually makes fast Chrom a thing, because god wasn’t dead enough, we had to dig up the corpse and shit on it.  I’ve been Chrom beat L!Edelgard, a unit with color advantage and massive defense.  I’ve seen Chrom beat a +10 Cecilia with her weapon refine.  Double Triangle disadvantage, and he not only survived her Close Foil boosted retaliation, but annihilated her outright.  What actually stops something like this?  When your biggest, toughest green units are bodied because of armor effectiveness, and double weapon triangle disadvantage isn’t enough to OHKO him or stop him from killing you, what works?  What actually stop him?  Well, nothing.  Nothing stops him.  Not even necessarily getting to him first, because Close Counter.  Now even your melee units who got to him first somehow get bopped.  Not that this is all her runs.  Attack/Speed Push 4 for the speedy builds works great.  Mirror Impact shuts down faster mages who could’ve been a threat.  And for all of this, we haven’t even touched on the strongest aspect of Chrom.  To Change Fate.  His signature assist skill, which not only acts as a Reposition that gives him a second action (but inflicts Isolation, which is totally relevant because he can’t just move again and have that status wear off or anything), but gives him Attack +6 afterwards.  As alluded to with Lucina, movement assists that score for Arena are the most devastating thing in the world, and Chrom is proof positive of that.  Oh, but as an added fuck you?  It’s 500SP.  That’s right!  Chrom can score 185BST without even needing a 300SP C-skill!  So if you were looking forward to the day L!Chrom is score crept, keep dreaming, because he’s going to be here forever.  And yet somehow, despite all of this, he’s only #2.  What unspeakable horror could possibly outrank this garbage?

1) Azura.  Take a look at the last three entries.  Now go check the best legendary units across every other season.  Azura is better than all of them combined.  Because she is all of them combined.

Azura is not a fighter.  Not that she can’t kill when needed, but she’s not meant to.  No, she’s support.  A dancer, specifically.  But hey, we’ve had tons of dancers, what’s the big deal?  Sure, she gives infantry and flying units an extra space of movement, and takes any buff in one stat and applies them to every other stat after dancing so not even Panic can stop it.  What’s the big deal?  Well, it’s that every single top threat in every single season is enabled by Azura.  Any level of power they have on their own is jacked up exponentially by her presence.  What was just L!Alm or L!Celica needing to be avoided now becomes a round of The Most Dangerous Game, as Azura can, at any time, send them hurtling toward your team with an easy +6 to all stats, and if they get the drop on you you’re dead already.  L!Chrom used To Change Fate, but didn’t quite reach your allies?  That’s okay, she danced him, now he has three more movement, and now he can, and will, kill something.  Leif got his special off, but at least his attacks are over and he only killed two of my units.  Oh, right, Wings of Mercy, now he’s killed a third, haha fuck me.  Oh hai Legendary Dimitri.

Every top meta threat, in every game mode, is made worse with Azura present.  She is, to this day, the single greatest instance of powercreep in the entire game.  Nothing has even come close.  Surtr was more immediately obnoxious at the time, but a few good red counters get added and you make Null Follow-Up more common, and he’s suddenly not so bad.  L!Azura, though?  We introduced Lulls to counter her visible buffing bullshit, and she’s still supreme.  We included Isolation effects, and she’s still chosen over other dancers due to the power of her effects.  Even now, as new, powerful dancers like Peony and Triandra are added, they have to face competition from Azura.  Peony escapes this by being essential to scoring for AR, but Triandra?  What luck is she going to have?  Why run a less impressive dance to mitigate lift loss when you do lose matches, when you can just bring Azura for a higher win-rate that loses you nothing?  Even as they’re actively trying to bring in other dancers with unique effects and abilities, it doesn’t even come close to the level of devastation L!Azura inflicted on this game.

“But she only scores 170BST, she can’t be that reliable!”  Actually...that’ll do you just fine.  Especially with two matched blessing legendary units.  Especially with Dimitri or Chrom, who score like 185BST.  That’s plenty to even maintain T21, all you need are two higher scoring allies with that blessing and you’re easily hitting 756+ matches to maintain.  Score creep may some day phase her out of the meta, but I can promise you, it won’t be soon enough, nor severe enough.  All but the top-most matches will still spam her.  We will never be free from Original Sin.  Azura isn’t just the best Water legendary unit.  She is the best unit in the entire game.  She’s so dominant that having a forced blessing doesn’t even stop her being run, to this day, on most AR-D teams.  A mode she’s not even optimized for, she still runs.  That alone should tell you how ridiculous she is.  And with each new threat?  With each skill buff to infantry and flying units?  She only gets stronger and stronger.

[rawiswhore]

Shawn Michaels x Fem Reader- “Nothing Compares 2 U”

In July of 1998, one of the most iconic, influential pro wrestlers of the 1990's made a return to the WWF.

Who is it?

Shawn Michaels!

You're so happy he's returned to the WWF, not only is he a legend and icon in pro wrestling, but he's arguably sexier than ever before in July of 1998.

His hair is somewhat shorter, not a buzzcut like John Cena and Randy Orton have, but he's cut a few inches of his hair off.

At the end of July 1998, when he returned to the WWF and it was the week of his birthday, you were lying in bed with him one night in a hotel room.

You were snuggled up next to Shawn, he not wearing a shirt and his arm wrapped around and behind you while your hand was caressing up and down his bare chest.

The lamp was on sitting on top of the nightstand next to the bed you and Shawn were sharing, you're hoping Shawn doesn't fall asleep yet.

"I've missed you so much" you confessed to him, your face looking at him.

"I've missed you too" he admitted, his fingers stroking a few strands of your hair. "I think the audience in general misses me!"

While Shawn did make a few appearances during the WWF's Attitude era from 1998 to 2002, some could even say 1997 and even 1996 is the Attitude era, it's a shame he wasn't there all throughout this era.

Though, would he have fit in with this era?

This is an era notorious for being very edgy, violent and downright shocking.

Then again, he was in D Generation X, who helped initiate the WWF's Attitude era and are part of the reason the company calls itself WWF Attitude.

When your hand caressed up and down his chest, he felt a rush travel throughout his body, your touch giving him tingles where you touched him.

He had an erection poking through his boxers he was sleeping in.

"You know how sexually promiscuous I was" you said "Do you know what the word 'promiscuous' means?"

"Of course!" he replied. "I've been a bit promiscuous myself too!"

You chuckled when he said that, at least he admits his promiscuity.

"You know I've fucked most of the roster, because some of them are sexy" you admitted "But you're the hottest out of any wrestler I've fucked"

You looked into his eyes when you confessed that, your head raising from the crook of his neck and leaning your face to his.

You also tried sounding sexy when you confessed Shawn is the sexiest wrestler you've fucked, your voice sounding huskier but sultry and sexy.

"Really?" he asked "Well, thanks!"

He probably agrees he was the hottest man in the WWF.

You nodded your head when he asked "really?", replying with "you're welcome" afterwards.

When your hand was caressing up and down his chest, his chest hair was slipping and sliding in between your fingers.

"Triple H, Hunter Hearst Helmsley is almost as sexy as you are" you admitted "But he's also a bit like Sable...in some angles he looks good, and in others he doesn't!"

Shawn probably disagrees with you about Sable and how she looks.

"You don't think Sable's all that hot?" he asked.

"Sometimes in a few angles and pictures she's beautiful" you admitted "But in other angles, she looks so much older than her age. I can't believe so many men go nuts over her!"

Debra is also that same way, yes, the same Debra who was married to Stone Cold and was Jeff Jarrett's valet.

Most of the WWF's audience in the Attitude era are horny teenage boys, and do these boys lust over Debra and Sable, despite them looking older than their age occasionally?

I've seen some people online admit they didn't like Sable and Debra when they were horny teenage boys and that those 2 WWF divas looked older than their age.

But you aren't here to talk about WWF divas. You're here to talk about the wrestlers you've fucked.

You have a bit of relationship OCD with Triple H.

Sometimes he looks hot as hell, but other times he doesn't, and you look at him to see if he's th

"Jeff Hardy, from that Hardy Boyz duo" you brought up "Oh God, now he is someone just as sexy as you are"

Your voice was using a lot of emphasis when you gushed over Jeff Hardy's appearance.

"I know who Jeff is" Shawn mentioned "They remind me of the Rockers duo I used to be in"

He should know who Jeff is, you've had a few orgies with Jeff and Shawn.

The Hardy Boyz eventually would be the Attitude era's equivalent to the Rockers, and Jeff would become the Shawn Michaels of the duo.

Jeff would eventually become a major sex symbol in the WWF/E, where teenage girls would shriek and scream their lungs out when he took his shirt off, and 95% of wrestling fanfiction in the early 2000's would be slash fanfiction shipping Jeff and Matt Hardy.

Doesn't Jeff sight Shawn as a wrestling influence?

Since Shawn brought up the Rockers...

"Speaking of the Rockers" you mentioned "Marty Jannetty, he has such a cute little baby face, like a Cabbage Patch Kid"

You moved one of your hands to your face and pinched your cheek with your fingers.

Shawn chuckled when you demonstrated that, smiling at your confession.

His chuckling spread to you, and you couldn't help but laugh and giggle at that.

"Even though Marty is pretty cute" you admitted "He looks a lot older than he is, doesn't he? And mullets are starting to get outdated, aren't they?"

Shawn would agree with you on that, nodding his head, chuckling and smiling.

"That's why I got rid of that mullet!" he chirped.

"I'm glad you got rid of it" you confessed "You look so much sexier without it"

You put emphasis on the word "so" when you gushed over his looks.

"Thanks!" he chirped.

"You're welcome" you replied, grinning at him from ear to ear.

Marty actually got so much hotter as he got older, and surprisingly, he aged better (in the looks department) than 2010's Shawn in my opinion...

Since you're on the subject of the Rockers...

"Leif Cassidy, that other new Rocker" you mentioned, though Shawn knows who Leif Cassidy is, he even "He was pretty cute, though his hair sometimes looked terrible"

His gimmick was terrible too; his character was meant to be someone completely stuck and trapped in the 1970's and his name is a combination of 2 70's teen heartthrobs.

"He lost his looks when he grew facial hair" you admitted.  

Fun fact: Leif Cassidy would eventually become Al Snow, yes, THAT Al Snow who held a female mannequin head and started those sexual innuendo laced "Head!" chants during the Attitude era.

And since you're on the subject of tag team duos...

"Billy Gunn, he was the hottest one in that New Age Outlaws duo" you confessed "But I hate that bowl cut he has now"

You frowned and pouted after you admitted your opinion on his haircut he'd have throughout 1998.

"Is he gonna have that bowlcut for the rest of his wrestling career?" you asked Shawn.

He shrugged his shoulders.

He probably won't, since most popular hairstyles don't last forever.

"Even though he is pretty cute" you admitted "He does have a big forehead and beady little eyes"

He looks slightly like a caveman.

"Bart Gunn, his former Smoking Gunns partner" you brought up "He's getting so much sexier now that his hair has grown longer"

He looks like Val Kilmer as well as a cross between 2 WWE stars: John Morrison and Randy Orton.

"I feel sorry for Bart, though" you admitted, frowning and pouting "Now he's in that stupid Brawl for All that no one likes"

"That Val Venis wrestler who plays a porn star" Shawn brought up "Did you fuck him behind the scenes?"

"Oh yeah!" you confessed, nodding your head and laughing, embarrassed that you admitted you've banged him.

Of course you had to bang him, both on "Monday Night Raw" where your character plays a promiscuous nymphomaniac and behind the scenes when the cameras weren't rolling.

Even though he's a major sex symbol in the WWF, his looks, though...

"Val Venis is both ugly and sexy at the same time" you confessed. "There's some techno musician out there called Aphex Twin, and Val looks like the guy from Aphex Twin, I swear!"

"I think I've heard of them before" Shawn admitted. "I'll have to look them up"

"The resemblance is uncanny!" you added.

You didn't want Shawn to fall asleep too soon, and your eyelids were fighting to stay awake.

Though, Shawn pretty much is up all night hearing you chatter about wrestlers you've banged, as well as up all night from you caressing his bare chest, try to guess that double entendre...

"What about that Rob Van Dam guy from ECW?" he asked and brought up.

"Oh, now he's just as sexy as you are!" you gushed "He almost was in the WWF but wasn't for some reason..."

Probably because you kept letting him fuck you during his short stint in the WWF circa May and June 1997.

Since you're discussing wrestlers and other wrestling companies...

"Bret Hart is sort of like Triple H and Sable" you confessed "As in, sometimes he looks sexy, but other times he doesn't, especially when his hair is way too curly"

There's another hot member of the Hart Foundation who you could say was the British Bret Hart...

"Davey Boy Smith, he's definitely pretty sexy" you admitted "Though he does have a bit of a lazy eye and he's a bit on the big side"

Oddly enough, Shawn would develop a lazy eye 2 decades later.

"I can't decide if Davey was hotter with short hair or long hair" you admitted "Though, what was up with those cornrows he used to wear? Who told him that was a good look?"

Shawn chuckled and laughed hearing you complain about that.

And you didn't find it racist about Davey wearing cornrows because it was the 1990's and cultural appropriation wasn't an issue back then like it is today.

Nowadays, Davey would get bashed badly for cultural appropriation for being a caucasian British man wearing cornrows.

"Since when do British white people wear cornrows?" you asked. "That's the first thing I think of when I think of England, fucking cornrows"

You saying that was making Shawn laugh and helping him stay awake.

Wonder if the people in the rooms next to you can hear your conversation with Shawn?

Even though the two of you aren't having sex, you are talking about men you've fucked and banged.

There's another member of the Hart Foundation you fucked backstage...

"And there's Brian Pillman" you huffed, getting sad when you bring him up. "He was pretty handsome back in October of '96, though I'm wondering if he's the least sexiest of all the wrestlers I've fucked"

Your mood is changing when you're talking about him, hopefully tears won't well in your eyes considering he died last year.

You tried changing your mood and tone of your voice to bring up someone else...

"Scott Taylor, y'know, Too Hot Scott Taylor?" you mentioned "He is a little bit cute, even though he has a mullet"

Scott Taylor looked terrible back in 1994 when his hair was a completely straight mullet with no curls, you wouldn't bang THAT Scott.

Fun fact: 2 years later, Scott Taylor would eventually become Scotty 2 Hotty in that 2 Cool group/faction who were like the Attitude Era's equivalent to The New Day, yeah, THAT Scotty 2 Hotty who did the Worm in the ring, you even danced with 2 Cool in the ring 2 years later.

He lost his looks when he became Scotty 2 Hotty, though he was at least updated for the year 2000 with that spiky frosted tip hair and trimmed boyband beard.

"Lex Luger" you brought up. "I actually do think he's pretty handsome, though he kind of looks like he has some sort of facial disorder"

He looks like that infamous "tanning mom", the mom who infamously tanned herself to oblivion.

But you and everyone else didn't know about who the Tanning Mom was since this fanfic is set in the 90's.

"Why are you bringing all of these men up?" Shawn asked.

It's about time he asks why.

"Because I've had sex with them" you confessed "But I even wonder if it was worth it for me to bang them"

Sexual promiscuity is dangerous, especially unprotected.

It leads to STD's, HIV and AIDS that kill you.

He nodded his head.

"I've worried about you being promiscuous" he admitted.

"I haven't been all that sexually promiscuous this year, or even all that sexually active" you confessed "I've only really it done it with maybe..."

You paused at finishing your sentence to count on your fingers how many wrestling related people you've fucked this year, so far, anyway.

"7 people" you admitted.  "And you're one of them"

You smiled, grinned and looked into his eyes when you said that.

He smiled and grinned right back at you, chuckling.

Shawn knows about who some of the other people you've fucked this year, he was even involved in some of those orgies with them!

Since you're mentioning people in the WWF you've banged this year, as well as last year (and the year before that)...

Since you're on the subject of wrestling related people you've fucked this year (as well as last year and the year before)...

"Don Callis, that Jackyl commentator and manager" you brought up "He actually is pretty hot, he looks like a sexier, gothic Howard Stern almost"

Shawn laughed and chuckled hearing your comparison, agreeing he does look a bit like Howard, but hotter.

"Also, that Truth Commission group he managed" you mentioned "I thought of fucking one of the Truth Commissioner guys, he had blue eyes and made these really funny facial expressions"

Shawn was trying to think of his name after hearing that.

"It's not that really big one Kurrgan" you stated. "He's ugly"

Since you're speaking about the Truth Commission...

"They actually had a match with 3 jobbers last year in the summer" you brought up "One of those jobbers, I think his name was Al Brown, was wearing a really ugly dark green singlet, but he's cute"

Even though he's a bit on the hefty side, though he is thicc and his ass was protruding through his singlet.

"I feel sorry for jobbers" you confessed "Not just because they always lose, but they're barely ever used and pushed in wrestling"

Shawn probably can't agree with that, considering he always wanted to win matches like the selfish prick he was in the 90's.

"Some jobbers are cute" you admitted "I'm sure some people would like to see them more, myself included"

You've banged a few jobbers and thought of doing them, and while you're on the subject of jobbers...

"There's one jobber named Jerry Fox who I think is pretty cute" you admitted "He has long brown hair, usually tied in a ponytail, he's surprisingly had matches with Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Mankind!"

Your hand wasn't just rubbing his chest, but drawing circles with the tip of your index finger on his chest as well.

"There's one jobber I thought of fucking, his name is Sonny Rogers" you confessed. "He had a match with Stone Cold last year and I think even won the match against Stone Cold, surprisingly"

"I think I know who you're talking about" Shawn stated.

"Stone Cold beat the crap out of Sonny" you added. "Which is what should happen"

You don't hate Sonny, but Stone Cold could easily kick Sonny's ass.

"Another one I've contemplated fucking is Brian Christopher, he's Jerry Lawler's son" you confessed. "He, I mean Brian Christopher, is a little cute, but he looks like a bootleg Davey Boy Smith"

Shawn laughed hearing that.

Brian Christopher really does look like a Great Value Brand Davey Boy Smith.

"At least Brian Christopher is better looking than his father" you stated.

You'd never fuck Jerry Lawler, that fat, bloated, woman objectifying, Trump supporting, statutory rapist pedophile creep.

"Scott Putski, he's in WCW and had a short lived stint in the WWF last year" you brought up. "He is quite sexy, though he looks more Mexican or Native American, not Polish"

You're not trying to sound racist when saying how he looks like he could be Mexican or Native American.

Shawn nodded his head and agreed with you about how Scott looks Mexican or Native American.

"He's Ivan Putski's son, isn't he?" Shawn asked "I used to watch Ivan growing up"

You nodded your head after Shawn asked if Scott is Ivan's son.

Shawn shouldn't have asked if Scott is Ivan's son, he knows it.

"I regret asking if Scott is Ivan's son" he admitted.

"It's fine, really" you consoled. "Bob Holly, a.k.a. Spark Plugg, Spark E. Plugg who used to have that racecar driver gimmick"

Shawn knows who you're referring to, he's even had some matches with Bob.

"Bob is pretty handsome" you admitted "But he has such an overbite, I was skeptical in fucking him"

You moved your hand in front of your mouth and made your hand talk by pronouncing his overbite, making your hand pull away from your mouth and your fingers scrunch up into the palm of your hand as your hand pulled away from your mouth.

Shawn chuckled and laughed hearing you talk about Bob's teeth.

"He's in that new Midnight Express with Bart Gunn, isn't he?" Shawn asked.

You nodded your head.

The New Midnight Express was one of the few things from the Attitude era that was a complete flop.

"He has blond hair now" Shawn mentioned "He looks like Ric Flair in the early 80's with that blond hair"

It isn't just wrestlers you've fucked, but 2 commentators as well.

No, it isn't Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon, though you have banged Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Brian Pillman and Bret Hart, who've all sat at the commentary table (Shawn is even sitting at the commentary table during his stint in the WWF during the summer of 1998).

They're these commentators in 1997 dressed in tuxedos at the commentary table, I can't remember their names, but they look way better than the typical commentators at the WWF table.

"There were these 2 commentators I fucked last year" you admitted "I can't remember their names, it isn't Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, or Jim Cornette, these 2 men were dressed in tuxedos"

Shawn can't think of what their names are either, they might've even spoken French too.

"They were pretty handsome" you admitted "At least they looked better than who's usually sitting at the commentary table, but they're not as hot as you are"

Your eyes looked at Shawn and you grinned wickedly when you looked at him, the tip of your index finger gently scratching his chest.

No pro wrestler will ever be hotter than Shawn  Michaels.

He's the hottest pro wrestler of all time. Of ALL time.

"Even though I've banged a lot of men in the WWF" you confessed, which Shawn already knows "You're the hottest I've fucked"

You said this as you looked into his eyes and leaned your face into his.

"Nothing, no one compares to you" you admitted "Nothing compares, nothing compares to you"

You sang that to the tune of Sinead O'Connor's biggest hit and signature song.

"Awwwww, thanks" Shawn said, smiling and having an "aaw, shucks" expression on his face.

"You're welcome" you replied, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I wonder if I should've fucked some of those men I've mentioned? They're not as hot as you are"

You mostly only have sex with men you think are sexy.

"I don't want you to die from AIDS" Shawn confessed.

"I know" you frowned "I don't wanna die either"

"You're so beautiful" Shawn gushed, putting his hand on the side of your face and pushing it so your face will look at his. "I love you"

"I love you too" you admitted.

Shawn leaned his face into your face and planted a kiss on your lips, where you kissed him back.

You've talked enough with Shawn tonight, so you lifted your hand and switched the lamp to off, where the room was now completely dark.

Even though it was dark, you can still somewhat see him in the dark.

"Goodnight Shawn" you said to him.

"Goodnight" he replied, where the two of you kissed each others lips again, until you buried your head into the crook of his neck and shut your eyes.

He puckered his lips to your forehead one more time until he closed his eyes, waiting to drift off to sleep.

Remember that episode of "South Park" where there was a list of the cutest boys at South Park elementary, and Kyle was the lowest?

Shawn would be at the top of your list of the hottest wrestlers you've banged, and Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam, Triple H, even Bret Hart would follow.

The ones at the bottom?

Al Brown (the chubby jobber who was in one "Monday Night Raw" match and never used again, Brian Pillman and Val Venis.

Even though Shawn is undeniably attractive, he does have some flaws to him.

For starters, he was inexplicably rude and disrespectful to people, just look at what he did to poor Davey Boy Smith when Davey wanted to win a match in his native England to dedicate it to his dying sister, and he made Vader cry.

And, while Shawn is sexy, he does have somewhat of this "80's/90's" cheesy guy vibe and look to him, the types of cheesy guys who wear those tight jeans in the 80's and 90's with smarmy, smug smiles and facial expressions.

Months and years later, there would be more men in the WWF/E that would become sex symbols as well as 2 men who joined the WWF you fucked.

Who are they?

Christian and Test.

Christian is absolutely gorgeous, he's easily the hottest member of the Brood, and Test is quite pretty as well, though that facial hair on him makes him look a bit redneck like.

You also banged Stevie Richards, the same Stevie Richards who was in that infamous Right to Censor group in the year 2000 and was in the Blue World Order in ECW.

Stevie's hot when he doesn't have facial hair...or that tacky Billy Ray Cyrus mullet he had in 1995.

You even banged Brian Kendrick/Spanky back in 2003, he's so cute.

Even though you'd love to bang Dean Ambrose, CM Punk and John Morrison in the late 2000's, Tyler Breeze, Adam Cole when he was in CZW and maybe even the Miz and Matt Riddle, you're married with children now.

Your sexual escapades and pro wrestling are similar to one another, why?

The hottest, best looking ones are the main events (Shawn Michaels, Davey Boy Smith, Bret Hart, Triple H), the mid carders are pretty cute but not enough (Billy Gunn, Val Venis, Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy), and while the lower card jobbers are pretty cute, they're not much to write home about.

Though, there's some hot mid carders and jobbers and some ugly wrestlers that are main events (Vader, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Undertaker, etc.).

There's probably some other cute/hot wrestlers in the WWF circa 1996/1997/1998 I haven't mentioned in this fanfic that I haven't seen.

[ladylillianrose]

You’ve Got SPRQS a Max Richman/Zoey Clarke Fanfiction

A/N: I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this idea! Thanks everyone for reading and for your comments!

Shoutout to my favorite beta/cheerleader aubreyrichman

These guys are all Austin Winsberg's property, I'll give them back when I'm done playing....maybe

Summary: CodeRedLeader and PianoMan chat some more

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Zoey kept catching herself glancing at her SPRQ Watch, hoping for another message from PianoMan. She'd received messages from other users, but those were less than appealing. 

Work had been slow all morning, so she decided that it was her turn to initiate the conversation.

"What is it about anonymity that makes people behave like idiots?"  

 She worried her lip while pretending to focus on her monitor.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what happened…. but now you have me wondering."

Zoey couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face.

"You are apparently the only man with a brain and decorum on SPRQS."

"Not that I won't take the compliment, how have you come to this conclusion?"

"Oh, the usual route, collect relevant data, compare and analyze, compile findings."

He sent an emoji of a scientist and clipboard. " For science!"

Zoey giggled, "Exactly. After your message I received a few others and they left a lot to be desired."

"You mean they didn't immediately try and point out how Star Trek is far superior to Star Wars right from the start? Well then what's the point?"

She snorted, shaking her head. "Other than you being completely wrong about that, no they did not. They chose to go the more cliché route…. pick-up lines."

"People still use pick-up lines these days?"

"These guys did, and they were pretty terrible."

"Well come on let's hear them. You can’t not tell me!"

"The first one was: 'Well, here I am. So, what are your other 2 wishes?' " Zoey cringed as she typed it out.

"Yowch. 1990 called they want their line back."

"Oh, that was nothing, the next one was even worse: 'If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.' "

"Gross! What is he a 5-year-old?"

Zoey couldn't help but laugh, she felt better about the sleazy messages sharing them with someone.

Tobin and Max glanced over at her questioningly.

"Just thought of something funny from the podcast I was listening to earlier," she fibbed.

"Would that be the serial killer one? Cause, those are always a laugh riot." Max deadpanned.

Zoey stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to the task at hand.

"If you were a president, you'd be Babe-Raham Lincoln."

She heard Max start coughing as he inhaled his coffee wrong.

"Everything okay, Max?" She asked, mildly concerned.

Max waved his hand and drank some water. "Just down the wrong tube," he rasped.

Zoey arched her eyebrow at him.

"See, all good now," he said, taking another drink of water. "Just forgot how sippy lids work for a moment."

Zoey smiled and nodded at him.

"Okay, now I'm literally in tears from that one. Wow, that wins for most hilarious yet still terrible!"

"Right? It doesn't even make sense because they have no idea what I look like! I could have green skin for all they know!"

"Hey, Elphaba made green skin look good in Wicked."

"I wouldn't know, not a big musical or really for that matter much of a music person. Though, I've been learning more about music, unintentionally, as of late."

"Well, I'll have to record you some piano covers for you to help build on that budding music knowledge."

Zoey felt her face flush, he was going to send her songs. Sure, she could hear people's heart songs, but this was different. He was knowingly willing to share songs with her.

She sent back a grinning emoji and a music note, "I would like that."

"Don't get too excited, they'll probably be pretty rough."

"I don't mind, I look forward to listening to them."

He responded with a blushing emoji. "Careful Red, those kinds of comments are liable to have me spouting terrible pick-up lines."

"You wouldn't dare. There's no way to top the Babe-Rham Lincoln."

" I'm almost intimidated to try."

"Well, if I get anymore, I'll be sure to share them. At least this way I have someone to laugh about them with."

"What, you can't share these gems with your friends?"

"Only the one who signed me up even knows I'm on the app. And my best friend scoffed at the whole idea of a dating app. So nope, you're the only one I can share these delights with."

"Well, then I feel honored to be the chosen one. Only one person knows I'm on here too, and only because he wouldn't stop pressuring me about it. I joined to shut him up...but I have to say that I'm enjoying this far more than I expected."

Zoey flushed with pleasure, grinning.

"So am I."

"Zoey? Zoey?" She heard Leif trying to get her attention.

"What is it?"

"Did you finish checking the code I sent you? We're waiting for your go ahead to input it," he explained raising his eyebrows. 

Shit....She had gotten so caught up in her chat that she hadn't realized that Leif had completed the code and sent it to her an hour ago.

"I'm just finishing my run through now," she lied.

"Welp,duty calls! But talk soon yes?"  

"Of course. I'll send you a song later tonight, if you were actually interested in them, and not just trying to spare my feelings."

"Absolutely, I'm interested! I'll be eagerly awaiting your recording!"

Zoey closed the app, forcing herself to focus on work for the rest of the day.

After hunching over her desk for 5 hours straight, she leaned back and stretched letting out a loud groan.

 Max was standing next to her desk, backpack slung over his shoulder.

 "And, that's our cue to get out of here," he said. 

"Just one more section…" Zoey went to move her chair closer when Max stepped in front of her.

"Nope. It'll be here tomorrow, and it isn't anything that can't wait," he insisted. 

Zoey grumbled, knowing he was right. "Fine. I guess I can finish it tomorrow."

Max grinned, moving out of the way so she could grab her stuff.

"Any big plans for tonight?" He asked as they walked to the elevators. 

Zoey shrugged, "Just a quiet evening in. What about you?"

 "Just got to do some work on a personal project," Max responded. 

"Personal project? This is the first I'm hearing of it," Zoey glanced at him stepping into the elevator.

"Just something I came up with today. I'm pretty excited to start," he grinned.

"So, what is it?"

"I don't want to say yet, I'm not even sure if it will go anywhere. But if it does, I'll let you know," Max assured her.

Zoey frowned, Max usually told her everything, this was a new secretive side to him that she hadn't seen before. But he seemed very eager to begin, and besides he wasn't the only one with a secret.

"Well, good luck with your project," Zoey said, smiling. "I'm glad you're excited for something." 

Max grinned, his dimples showing. "It’s a great feeling!"

"See you tomorrow," Zoey said as they parted at the door.

"Meet you at the coffee shop?" Max asked.

 "If I'm not there, you should probably report me as missing, " she joked back. 

Max chuckled, "Night, Zo."

"Night, Max."

[razzle-zazzle]

Daemos cuddle pile. (You probably know who I am, so, my account won’t switch to my side blog so this is what we’re doing for now.)

950 Words

It’d taken some convincing on Ava’s part, but she eventually corralled the boys—not on the couch, no matter how hard she’d tried (she hadn’t)—on the floor in front of the couch, with plenty of snacks within reach. The (new) computer wasn’t the best for the job, but after moving it onto a stack of books (and warning Leif multiple times that if he messed with it, then Ava would throw him in the bath), it worked just well enough for the job.

After going through all of her movies, Ava decided Disney would be the best introduction to human movies—well, movies in general—for the boys.

Before the movie could even start, however, Ava was bogged down with questions she had to answer. Nothing big, she just had to explain what a movie was, then she had to explain animation, which then led into the explanation that no, the boys could not interact with the characters onscreen, because the characters weren’t real, they were just drawings given voice and motion, and no, you cannot alter the course of the story, either.

“So it’s like a book, then?” Rhys asked. At Ava’s affirmation, he took some water from a nearby glass, shaping it into something resembling a dolphin before making it dive and flip through the air. “So it’s a story given motion, like the water dancers that frequent my hometown.” The others seemed a little baffled by this explanation, so Rhys continued. “It’s an illusion used to tell a story.”

Understanding dawned over the others’ faces, at which point Ava decided to start the first movie. The Little Mermaid seemed like a good choice given the current situation.

As the opening minutes of the movie played out, the boys miraculously managed to quiet down, settling in for what would hopefully be a fun, peaceful night.

Of course the peace couldn’t last. Eventually, Leif and Noi got restless, squirming around on the carpet. But Ava had a solution for this.

With some effort, she pulled Noi onto the couch beside her, and started running her hand through his hair. He relaxed immediately, leaning into the touch and purring.

Leif was a little bit trickier, but it wasn’t long before he joined Ava and Noi on the couch, the prospect of pestering Noi too much to resist. Except he was on the wrong side of Ava, and they both knew it. All she needed to do was put her arm over his chest, and Leif was still, even if a bit fidgety.

Rhys, surprisingly enough, was so completely enamoured with the film that he hadn’t asked a single question. His tail continued to coil and uncoil, but that wasn’t unusual for the scholar.

The purring was new though.

It was a deeper timbre than Noi’s, but not much softer. Ava was surprised—she’d never heard Rhys purr before. He didn’t seem to have noticed.

It was as Ariel was signing the contract with Ursula that Pierce made his move, moving up to the couch to sit by Noi and Ava. This pushed Noi into Ava’s lap, but the earth daemos didn’t seem to mind; Noi shifted his weight until he was on both Ava and Pierce’s laps, still purring contentedly.

This is my life now. Being aggressively cuddled by sexy demons while watching the Little Mermaid.

Not the weirdest thing that’s happened, I guess.

And indeed, Ava was trapped. Trapped between Leif and Pierce, who’d pressed themselves up against her. Trapped under Noi, who was halfway into her lap. And trapped behind Rhys, who’d somehow ended up right up against the couch, between her legs. His tail had finally found something to coil around; to Ava’s annoyance, it was her leg.

Asch soon joined the pile, trying to interpose himself between Ava and Leif. It went, as was to be expected, rather poorly. Ava and Pierce scooted out of the way of the scuffle, not noticing the way Rhys tensed up, his tail coiling like a snake about to strike.

Fwap!

Ava tried—and failed—to hold back her giggles at the expression on Asch’s face, or the squawking sound he made in response to being slapped by Rhys’ tail. And when Rhys interposed himself between the two, shoving Leif to the end of the couch—to Leif’s very loud protest—and shoving Asch up against Ava, Ava couldn’t contain her utter delight at the situation.

Well, delight until Leif crawled over Rhys to get to Ava, only to be stopped midway by Asch. Then it became frustration at what looked to be another fight, only to become relief when Rhys put a stop to it.

“If neither of you tu’oide quit it with your antics, then I’ll throw you both in the spell pool myself.”

The effect was immediate. Asch and Leif stopped.

All in all, they remained pretty well behaved for the rest of the movie.

Eventually, The Little Mermaid came to an end, but Ava couldn’t disentangle herself from the pile of limbs. She was halfway in Asch’s lap, Pierce pressed up against one side with Rhys on the other, Leif to Rhys’ other side while Noi sat happily in Ava’s lap.

“You know I’ve got to start the next movie, right?” Ava managed to free herself for nary a moment before the boys pulled her back in, Noi whining siftly as he put his head on her shoulder.

“You’re our prisoner.” Asch said.

“But the movie!”

Rhys looked as though he might be trying for escape, but his efforts were thwarted by Leif and Asch. In the end, Ava gave up on finishing the marathon, resigning herself to being trapped in the pile.

At least I have an excuse not to do anything.