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energywarning · 2 years

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How did your 3 and 8 ultimately get to know each other after octo expansion? Ice breaker being "we shot at each other a bunch"

8 wanted ( tried) to talk to 3 pretty much immediately post ending, she ended up carrying them on her back to bring them to the helicopter to go to inkopolis and tried to ask them the basics like whats your real name etc. But also wanted to say "thank you for saving me from the blender i think our souls are intertwined forever you are so cool ?? I am absolutely certain of what im saying but also Am i insane to you for saying this sorry i dont understand inkling culture yet" except her poor inklish made her say smth nonsensical . Thankfully? 3 was still so out of it they could neither hear nor answer.

About 4-5 days after she asks marina if she could try to help her get in contact with capn cuttlefish and 3 and while marina has 0 difficulties contacting the capn its a different story for 3, even cuttlefish has pretty much no idea of their whereabouts when theyre off duty. But he organized a meeting for the day since 3 can like actually go to places and not be in an hospital . so the capn invited 8, (it was also a way for the old man to know if 8 was still up for agent work (she wasnt really.))

She goes (with again, marina s help since inkopolis is very overwhelming) once she gets there marina leaves and tell her the basics "call me if you need anything and if someone picks a fight with you tell me and me and pearlie will beat them up etc"

She sees 3 there. The old man, And 4, whom she never met before.

3 looks at her with a look that can be described as very scaredy ish? Regretful. Like looking your insane boss in the eyes after you just broke his golf clubs that are worth your entire annual salary. Like uh oh my life is over.

She tries to greet 3 but is interrupted by 4, who is a huge talker, in spite of the language barrier 4 talks nonstop for 20mins and manages to convince 8 to go live w her because "having a roomie is fun and honestly i havent talked to another being in a while so!! Plus i can show you around inkopolis and stuff, and youll live in the middle of the city compared to pearl s mansion Lol so ull get to explore more easily. Youll have to do the dishes though i hate that stuff takes so much time, as for me ill do the laundry"

-"the laundry? The dish?? Lol??"

-"eh dw abt it just yet"

-"dw??? What is the meaning of these letters..."

Then 4 is like hey btw *points to them* this is 3 !! This is so crazy but im 90% sure we actually used to be mutuals on tunablr when we were younger ( energywarning here, asking:what would tumblr b named in sploon universe?) .

Finally 8 gets to say hello to 3

3 is convinced that 8 hates them but this certainty in their beliefs also calms them down enough to offers a friendly normal well adjusted handshake. That is very normal to offer to someone who probably hates you a lot. 8 does not understand the gesture and just grabs their hand and intertwines their fingers together.

Then 8 is just "thank you i am glad to meet you again" .3 looks at her like shes an insane person for a good 10 seconds bc they dont know what to answer but ultimately settles for a "you are welcome, thank for saving me from. well you know. because id probably be dead now." and 8 says "well i would definitely be dead as well ! You know . The blender. Actually a lot more people would be dead if either of us died so, i am glad that we met even if we shot eachother a few times haha" 3 looks very pale by that point

4 asks 3 if they want to be the #2nd roomie but 3 immediately refuses. They say they already have the neccessary accommodations to sleep, 4 assumes the best and drops the idea (a mistake, at that point 3 is pretty much abt to get evicted oops)

Then meeting starts. Boring blabla YAY 8 YOU saved inkopolis congrats were throwing you a party soon :^) do you want to do agent work again no oh well i guess its fair but the door is always open so to speak so you know. ok bye now oh no need to thank me 8 youre the one who saved us blablabla.

8 goes home w 4 and realises she didnt tell marina shed like. Move out so she tells her . Marina and pearl have a wtf they grow up so fast- oh we are being silly arent we but also who is 4 i have to run. 420 background checks actually (turns out to be just some gal that was like extremely bullied when she was younger who either plays viddy games or draws chibis and stuff in her free time)

3 walks back "home" on their own and in their head:

Wishes they could be friend w 4 (but they "cant" because of some insanely self restrictive rules about social interactions theyve put around themself. "Mfw when i cant talk to people because im nothing which is good because no one knows me which means i can just focus on being a good agent and if i die nobody will miss me not that people would even if i talked to them but also-)

Wishes they could properly apologize to 8 (they think on how, their best options seemed to drop on the floor hands n knees and apologize. Which they end up doing the day after their 1st meeting at crusty sean. that or ask if 8 wants to beat them up to "even it out"?? Which they actually end up asking but like 8 says no obviously i want to be ur friend... 3 also asks her later on if she wants to kill them but 8 thought that was just some kind of inkling humor so she laughed at them)

Wishes they could be friend w 8 because like she obviously seems like a very sweet girl but cannot for same reason as 4 + other stuff

Anyway in the meantime 8 asks 4 if she has 3's personal phone number and she does . So 4 gives it to her.

8 calls them like immediately but gets no responses cus theyre like. Never answering a phone call ever. So she sends them a few messages asking if they want to hang out. Then 4 tells her to include her in the messages cus she wants to hangout w 3 too so she does.

3 sees the messages and is glad they turned off that seen/read warning stuff cus they take like 1 hour to answer since its a battle in their mind between "are you fucking insane there is no way anyone wants to meet up with you its got to be a bait of some sort did her phone get hacked ? (Also what if you get hijacked again. Somehow you are radioactive i bet do not get close to people)" and "are you fucking insane why would you refuse dont be an asshole. If shes asking you its because she wants to probably she just got to the surface she doesnt give a f about inkling customs. Where people do not hang out with people whom they fought mind control or circumstances beyond their control or not. Just go along it wont kill you, and if it does well thats just life"

They end up replying w smth like "ok wht time n where"

And then they all meet up at crusty sean the day after, so thatd be their 1st proper meeting technically post oe.

At the end of it 3 asks 8 "ok so you dont blame me nor you or either of us blablabla but like why do you want to hang out with me genuinely, theres gotta be a reason?? Do i make you feel bad or smth" and 8 is just like no i think you are the cool ! I like you i want to know more of you, i think of you many times . 3 replies oh ok WELL THATS COOL I APPRECIATE IT. GOODBYE NOW lets do this again tomorrow maybe .and runs away

(8 n 4 talk on their way home and 8 mentions that social media friend thing and 4s just like yeah they were a pretty cheerful person back then ?!! Idk what happened they just dissapeared one day.)

Some times later 3 ends up going back on their word bc sleeping in a car is exhausting and they dont care about their dignity anymore and asks 4 if shed accept them as a new roommate. 4 is like omg sure bestie. by that point theyre all interacting w eachother and on friendly term so when they end up all in the apartment its not an issue

#tldr . 8 just seeked them out and despite their best efforts at keeping up a wall between them they very much failed #sorry this is a lot of words. with a lot of grammar mistakes but i am el tired so who gives a shit really.truly

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pinkseas · 2 years

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quackity becoming the kind of person that he did will never not kill me like. schlatt was powerful and that power came from confidence and the manipulation of those who worked under him, he hurt them at the same time that he looked after them he may have been hated but for so long he made sure they couldnt leave. and that was about the balance, kindness and cruelty, and as the cruelty began to outweigh the rest he was abandoned. so you need to be cruel but you need to be kind, too, you need to care about the people you’re using, you need to want to keep them safe. you cant care too much because that makes you weak and vulnerable and vulnerability is dangerous but you cant be too cruel, either, because that makes hate outweigh love and allows them to slip right through your fingers. the balance is important. he remembers that.

something about looking at those with power over you and thinking about all the ways they caused you harm and twisting everything you are to embody that. something about faith in yourself being beaten out of you again and again and again by those stronger than you until you think that the only way to be safe is to be like them. something about analyzing cruelty and violence and poisonous words because that’s not who you are, not really, but it’s who you have to be. something about power meaning safety meaning youll do whatever it takes.

something about failure. can you even fucking imagine that? being looked down upon and beaten down and hurt and killed and mocked and belittled again and again and again and again. embodying everything that ever hurt you so you can use it to keep yourself safe instead. becoming what you hate because its necessary, because its the only way, only to fail. violence worked for them. lying and manipulation and abuse and the most twisted kind of love and care worked for them. it kept them safe, kept them whole, made them indestructible, but all its done for you is made things worse. you have the power you needed but the people you wanted to protect with it have abandoned you completely. you have the power you needed and everyone around you still slips through your fingers. you have the power you needed and you still cannot save the people you love.

karl has forgotten him and sapnap is gone. purpled betrayed him. slime is dead. tubbo and fundy and sam are gone. dream has escaped. foolish is heavily considering betraying him. after everything hes done to keep himself safe, short of foolish or sam leading dream to him he could not possibly be more alone or in a worse position than he is now. hell, if the egg returns one of his few or maybe only victories will mean nothing!!!

he’s given everything and gotten nothing for it. hes molded himself into everything hes hated and its gotten him nowhere at all. i will now be killing myse

#i dont ever have coherent cq thoughts its always me rambling and losing my mind #idk i think this is like. maybe a me thing?#hurting people is my WORST nightmare #being even the tiniest bit like the people who hurt me is my WORST NIGHTMARE!!!!!#and cquackity is So Fucking Different in that regard #to a point where i regularly struggle to wrap my head around it #the thought of him fuckfingfg #looking back on his experience with schlatt and wilbur especially #analyzing what it was that they did that made him feel small #working out how he can have that sort of power over people without failing the way they did #thinking of their flaws and weaknesses to make sure he wont make the same mistakes #doing everything right only to get completely and utterly fucked over AGAIN #idk !!!!! idk idk idk #fuck #alyalyoxenfree

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echosofmyself · 1 year

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how sad i must look, how pathetic i must be, for all to look at me and decide to step on me.

it is pathetic, isnt it? how i feel my stomach move whenever i think of standing up for myself, how i hold my tears deep inside and try not to show it, as you step on me, use me for your benefit, for your salvation.

how fun it must be, to not care about making me feel so bad all the time. how hilarious, to get away with everything by pinninh it on me.

i cant even say it's just a bad day. i was looking tru my old tweets, on that burner account i made when i thought you loved me. how every single one of those, are just me in my darkest moments when the light was so far away and all i could feel was the cold pf the air around me. even if i couldnt truly express the entirity of my feelings, how they tend to overwhelm me so quickly and keep a grip on me for months on end. With only 240 characters theres only so much you can say but "i fuxking hate living" seems to translate it all pretty easily.

It fun to see, now looking back, how every milestone of mine, every moment of my life, is determined by a period of sadness. since i was a kid who didnt know how to do friends to an adult to worries herself sick of any and all interactions. i wonder who made me like this? myself, by willingly deatching myself from reality early on, making it impossivbe to even care about what was happening aroudn me? or you, my forthbringer, who ignored me all my life except for the times where i disappointed you. Only in those times did you truly set your eyes on me, and now everytime someone looks at me all i see is your disappointed eyes wishing you had a better child.

every moment of my life seems to go back to the same place. no matter how sad now, how sad before, how bad, whenever i go down, all i can see is myself in the backyard, putting up the clthes to dry at 7am after you woke me up with the broom, because i forgot the say before.

i can forget everythinh in life, but i'll never forget that. For what is good momentns and art pieces gazed upon in wonder, compared to feeling like you have and are nothing, and that no one will love you as you wished to be loved.

Every bad moment goes back to that, since rock bottom can alwyas be reached again. No matter how much i run, how far i go, i alwayd end up back here, in that yard, putting up clothes in the cold air of february, thinkinking how i have to go get ready for school becuase im 14 and how i need to see the damage you did to my body with that broom you almsot broke on me and how i wish i was dead because everyday i wake up wondering ho bad youll make me feel and how little i should be for you to be pleased. Bakc then i cried and screamed and dreamed about going awya, of disappearing at 18, to never return and yet here i am at 22 back at the same house with you. You, who laughs when i tell you this because to you it was just another tuesday while to me it was the day i truly wish i could finally die.

and you'll call me dramatic and how i blame everything on you to exonorate myself of any blame, because perhaps i did deserve it and i just cant see it because i didnt dp what you wanted when u asked and i never was organzed or had the best grades or even pretended to try and care and ill listen to you tear me down so easily, because maybe some it is my fault but how you so eassily blame me for beig me cannot be normal.

i hope you can find the child you always wante din this new one, the child your son who ruined my life will give you. And you'll treat the child as best as you can because why blame a child for its fathers sins, sins you dont even know because i protect you from the truth. But it'll still hurt to see yu give this child all i ever asked from you, with an ease as if it was alwaus inside of you to be like this, and you simpky werent with me because i wasnt enought to deserve such treatmenrt. I wasnt what you wanted and therefore you werent what i wanted either. In a way, we're both to blame, arent we?

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cerealyoam · 2 years

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TIKTOK: KAZUHA IS A GREAT HUSBAND AND I WILL GO INTO HEAVY DETAIL!!!!!!

based on this titkok

※※※

—————————

look. firstly, if you’re the kind of person who cant stay in one spot forever. He is for you baby

and what is kazuha?? a WANDERER

he literally goes random places whenever the fuck he wants and i LOVE that

never anchored just zoom zoom zoom

That means you get to experience the thrill of being someplace new everyday

And a lot of that wandering entails a. Lot of walking

Walking with Kazuha is a dream. Witnessing the most beautiful sceneries together through thick and thin, talking about anything and everything

Not to mention Kazuha and his incessant flirting and poems made just for you, the love of his life

You can never run out of topics with Kazuha. He’s been to so many places that he has a million stories. He’s met so many people that he can introduce to you

They’re soooo cheesy you either love them or hate them no in between sorry

But deal with them they’re sooooo worth it

Is ACTUALLY EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE

I knooowww it’s hot to have an emotionally unavailable boyfriend but as a husband??? Who’ll be there to support you when things go good? How’s there to be there for you when things get bad???

Kazuha is an emotionally intelligent individual and he knows how to be a good boyfriend

Just look at him

Read his voice lines

He’s also equally sociable and solitary

Kazuha can hold his own in a store and buy things, he can make conversation with most everyone he meets

But he also values good solitude

Being with him means meeting amazing people and also having time to just disconnect, recharge

It’s the ideal stability emotion wise

Kazuha is a stable person

He’s calm when things get tough, he fights back when he needs to, he knows his worth

There’s just a lot of grievance in him

You’ll probably hear a lot about his dead friend

And he’ll be able to process it with you

And he doesn’t push all his weight on you

and that in itself brings you closer!! you become closer just by simply existing with one another doing what he does best: go where the wind takes him

and he has anemo so youll never get too sweaty. all he would have to do is use his vision and BOOM cold air righr in ur face

hes also incredibly skilled in fighting so he could literally teach you to defend yourself!!

and instead he can defend you!! hes literally such a sustainable lover

and plus? he travels with the Crux fleet. yk how amazing that is? its getting to see beidou day in and day out

So even if your life is hectic in the wandering aspect, you can always come back to somewhere familiar — the crux fleet

As long as you either know how to do some chores, can defend yourself, or cook, you’ll be fine

Way to his heart is through his stomach!!!

And plus?? It’s not that difficult to make good food in teyvat

Alll their food is straight up fresh and yummy

So it’s easy to ease into it

It’s also not that difficult to explode a stove because they use fireeeee

kazuha romantically?? have you seen him???

he literally is so expressive of his emotions my attachment issues could never

hes just like the most trustworthy lover just by the way he carries himself

he knows who he is and hes just confident in himself

Plus he’s hot

and thats sooo attractive. just someone who knows what he wants, knows who he is and knows where he'll be

He’s the kind of person to love birthdays not because its reassurance that people still care about him, but because its simply a special day to celebrate

He’s the ideal

He’s the standard

Thank you

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin x reader comfort #kazuha x gender neutral reader #kazuha x male reader #Kazuha x reader #Kazuha x female reader #kazuha x you #Genshin impact x you #just headcannons #tiktok headcannons

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adowbaldwin · 3 years

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Baldwins Secret - Part 27

"You summoned me?" Baldwin came into Dianas room, plonking Becca down onto the floor. She had stormed into his rooms like a SWAT member demanding he bridal carry her to Mummys room so she could talk to him.

"We did" she smiled, and he was shocked. That was the first time she had properly looked at him in days "you havent been to see the boys" she questioned

"Because you explicitly told me to stay away and drop dead" he reminded her

She shrugged "im over that now, I blame Matthew for letting me eat all those weird food combinations. They must have sent me mad"

Matthew gave her a hateful look over the newspaper, quietly mumblimg to himself. Baldwin looked at him smugly "Id blame Matthew too, what a terrible husband. Id never of allowed Antonia to eat such things"

Matthew stood up, few paces to his side of the room and thwacked Baldwin on the side of the head with it "dont you dare encourage her"

Baldwin scoffed "Did you just hit me on the head? With a bloody newspaper"

"Can you two put a pin in it, Matthew you know we need to discuss things" Diana pleaded before a light hearted bicker turned into World War Three. Men were so touchy.

Matthew sat next to her on the bed while Baldwin scooped one of the boys into his arms and sunk into the chair next to the bed "So what do you want to talk about?" His sight never left the boy once, big finger smoothing over the babys cheek "speak quickly or youll lose my attention span"

"I was thinking, alot really about my time back in Rome and i wanted to honour that period and the people i met" Diana started, trying to find the best way to say it so it comes off as intented and not insensitive "Matthew and I spoke alot about you recently, we might not always see eye to eye but you are always here for us when we need you"

"Even if it goes unappreciated" he mumbled back

"Well, you are a hard man to appease Baldwin" she sighed "you werent always, though"

"Where is this going, Diana?" He looked up at her

"What im trying to say is, despite our differences Matthew and I would like to honour you as our brother by naming our boys after you and your sons. I would love nothing more to bring another Cyrus into the world, and even Garrick or Evander eventhough i did not have the honour of meeting them. But only with your blessing, i dont want to be insensitive"

He gulped holding his emotions because like fuck was he going to cry infront of Matthew. He looked down at the cooing boy "what do you think, little bruiser?" His lips pouted, tongue darting out "either he thinks its a brilliant idea or he wants boobie"

Diana laughed "i think he wants boobie"

Baldwin booped him on the nose "its like looking in a mirror" he smiled "thankyou" he spoke quietly clearing his throat "i love the idea, but i have one condition"

Matthew rolled his eyes "of course you do" he almost snarled "what is it?"

"I want Diana to talk to Sienna"

--------------------------------------

187 missed calls, 37 texts, 10 voice notes and so many emails Sienna had to delete her account and start a new one.

She alreasy vetoed the idea of getting a new number because Baldwin Montclair would find it in seconds it would be pointless.

Just as equally she had left many messages on Dianas phone to no avail.

She sat curled up, blanket huddled over her frame that was shaking as she cried. Diana was her best friend, one of the truest most genuine people she had ever met and she fucked it all up because of dick.

"Oh honey" her mother drew little circles on her back trying to soothe her "come on i know you two will work it out"

"God why do i keep ruining everything as soon as a man comes along?" She sniffed

Her mum laughed "i hardly think this is the same as university, or the Natural History Museum. But like both of those time will pass and wounds will heal"

She had an affair with a lecturer from Cambridge that came out when his wife sent a powerpoint round to the faculty explaining (with photos) why she was divorcing her husband.

The Museum incident was her and her first boyfriend at secondary school getting caught whilst he slipped her a cheeky finger behind one of the exhibits. She was banned for 2 years from entering the place.

"Oh mummy shes never going to speak to me. I dont want to move Uni's again" she thudded her head against the sofa hard "why did he have to be so fucking attractive"

Lorena reached her hand out stroking her hair "why are you ignoring him? I know you miss him"

She fiddled with the frayed blanket "what i want doesnt matter, all that is important is that i hurt Diana and i need to fix it"

Black magic came screaming out of Siennas phone, buzzing and jumping off the table making her jump. Her heart thudded "Thats Dianas ring tone"

#adow #a discovery of witches #fic #baldwin montclair #diana bishop #baldwins secret

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horansqueen · 4 years

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You & Me : chapter 44

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: okayyy so here it is. time passes quicker, and youll see itll be like that in the last few chapters too. i hope you like this one, i hope youll like the last few chapters. im a bit nervous so i hope it’s not too bad! oh yea and i used a manip someone made on instagram, just thought it was cool haha!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i used here but ill only post them in the next chapter because i don’t want to spoil anything!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 44 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

August 9th, 2018

That was it. We were done with an other season and I couldn't believe what we accomplished. What I accomplished. We had filmed the last scene two days ago, right on time for me to go see Niall perform in LA two nights in a row and the party organised to celebrate the end of this season was scheduled on the first night of his week off. Everything seemed to fit perfectly together and I was happy. I was genuinely and truly happy.

"Did I tell you how much I missed you?" I heard my boyfriend whisper near my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, making a shiver cross my whole body.

"Mm yes, about a million times in the past 3 days." I replied with a chuckle, tilting my head as he pressed his lips gently on my neck.

I had missed him so much too. We had spent over a month apart and just like I expected, we were even stronger than we were before and that said a lot. We had talked every single day on facetime but it was never the same than to be able to smell him, feel him, taste him... just seeing him face to face was different than on a screen and I had no idea how i'd be able to spend an other 5 weeks separated from him.

"Okay then, did I tell you how good you look tonight?"

I laughed again and turned around in his arms, tilting my chin up to look in his eyes. We were a bit farther from the others, slightly hiding by a part of the wall, and i licked my lips, hoping no one was paying attention to us.

"I'm literally wearing an old pair of jeans that shows how big my ass is and a plain t-shirt." I pointed out. "But thank you."

As if it was a suitable answer, his hands slid from my back to my butt and he squeezed it, making me laugh again.

"I love your ass."

"And in public too?" I asked with an amused smile, my eyebrows raised. "Are you drunk?"

He chuckled and bent down to kiss my lips and i let him, feeling his warm mouth move gently and slowly against mine. No matter how many times we kissed, it always felt amazing, and no one else tasted that good.

"We should go back to the others." I pointed out in a low voice. "They're gonna start wondering where we are."

"Mm, I don't care." he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle low.

"Come on." I just replied, finally taking a step back and tilting my head on the side. "We can cuddle tonight."

We walked back in the room hand in hand and I noticed Dylan looking at us. He sent me a small smile that I answered as I tried to ignore Heidi, sitting next to him. They had been dating for longer than I thought they would and I was wondering if he still thought everything he had told me about her the last time we discussed it. I really thought it was a good thing for him to be with someone else, I just thought it sucked that she was the one he had picked. Still, it was none of my business and I couldn't stop him from inviting her to this party. After all, it was his tv show too, and I owed him a lot. I was well aware that it was more popular because he was the male lead and I knew how lucky I was to act with him.

As soon as we sat down, Heidi and Dylan got up but she left to the other side of the room and he walked to us, sitting in front of my boyfriend. I didn't know if this was about to be awkward but before we could say anything, I heard my phone and frowned. I grabbed it quickly and excused myself, knowing it was even more awkward that I left my boyfriend and my ex boyfriend together.

"Hey Louis, you're calling at a very weird moment." I just said with a smile.

"That's me specialty, love." he let out as a joke, making me chuckle. "You mom tried to call you apparently, but she couldn't reach you so she called my phone. Sweet sweet lady with an incredibly strong accent. It always surprises me."

I rolled my eyes but a smile still drew itself on my lips. "What did she want?"

"She said it was not urgent but she wanted to talk to you, make sure you're not dead or something."

I raised my nose up. "Don't joke with that."

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to bring back... that memory." he apologized after a few seconds of silence. "She doesn't know though, does she?"

"No, only you, me, Niall, and I'm guessing El?"

"Olivia, I didn't tell that to anyone, not even El." Louis admitted, making me smile fondly. "This is no one's business but yours. I promise to keep that secret forever."

"Thank you, Lou." I whispered before swallowing.

I hated to remember that moment of weakness I had, even if I knew it was part of why I was who and where I was today. I really had to hit rock bottom to kick myself up and finally breathe again. If my relationship with Niall was so strong now, it was partly because I had worked on myself and although I knew I still had work to do, I was stronger than I used to be when I first dated Niall. Of course, swallowing all the pills I could find was not my smartest or strongest moment but I was trying to forgive myself.

"Oh you want to hug me right now don't you?" Louis joked, making me laugh through my tears. "I know you!"

I laughed and wipe my eyes quickly before licking my lips. "Yea, I drank a bit too so it doesn't help. I'll text you soon, Lou."

"You better. Love you, queen."

I smiled fondly at the nickname and closed my eyes. "Love you too."

I hung up and texted my mom quickly before going back to the table. Dylan was now sitting next to Niall and it made me frown. I knew they were both a bit tipsy and I didn't want anything bad to happen between them. Gladly, I knew Niall was not into confrontation and Dylan was quite laid-back too. Plus, he was probably over me by then and if they could just accept each other's company, it would be enough for me. I didn't expect them to become close friends, of course, but It would be nice if it wasn't awkward between them anymore.

"Oh and that small.. whimper or whisper she makes when you slip your hand in her panties." I heard Niall comment before Dylan chuckled.

"Right." he agreed, shaking his head gently. "And she's always so ready too."

A tiny part of me wanted to stay and listen to what they were going to say but the part of me that was angry was definitely bigger. I took a step closer but held my breath when Dylan started talking again.

"Let's say it's different than Heidi."

"No man, I ain't going there." Niall laughed while shaking his head before taking a sip of his beer.

"No, I mean, Heidi is very sexy but it's that... that connection, you know?" I frowned and my lips parted when Niall laughed again.

"I don't want to hear about the 'connection' you had with my girlfriend, O'Brien." he pointed out, turning his almost empty beer with his fingers.

"No yea, I know. I just mean that... it's different when you love someone."

"Are you two really comparing how Heidi and I are in bed?"

Both of them jumped so high I thought they were about to fall off their chairs. I wanted to look at their reaction but I decided to focus on my boyfriend and when he turned around, his face changed and I could read fear in his eyes. I crossed my arms on my chest and shook my head, licking my lips.

"That's fucking disgusting. I don't deserve that, and Heidi doesn't either."

This time, I read surprise in Niall's eyes and glanced at Dylan who seemed as shocked as my boyfriend. Oh I still didn't like Heidi, but that didn't mean it was okay for them to discuss about how she was in bed.

"Just because both of you had the chance to fuck us both doesn't give you the right to share gossips about us." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my anger inside and breathed in deeply. "That's fucking wrong."

I turned on my heels and left before I stopped and turned around again to look at them. "I'm mad at you both, by the way, if that wasn't clear enough."

I walked quickly to my dressing room and closed the door before holding myself against the counter, closing my eyes. I was torn between being mad that they could easily talk about me like that and being relieved that they could actually talk to each other without it being awkward. After a few minutes, I heard a knock at the door and thinking it was probably one of them, I swung the door open but my face changed when I noticed my assistant. My lips curled and I raised my eyebrows a bit surprised.

"You left quickly, are you okay?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

I made a quick head movement to incite her to walk in and closed the door behind her before we both sat down, her on the couch and me on a chair. Tinka was fairly new since my old assistant had to leave due to a pregnancy and we immediately bounded. She was gorgeous and I had to admit I was a bit jealous of her, not only for her looks but also for the way she attracted people easily and all that charisma she had probably inherited at birth, but at the same time, I felt connected to her too and I could never hate her.

"Okay so, I wanted to show you something. I mean at first I was not sure if I should, because I shouldn't have filmed it in first place, but..." she blabbed nervously before shaking her head. "I'll just show you."

She took her phone and clicked on a few things before handing it to me. I frowned, taking it cautiously before noticing she was showing me a video. I clicked on play and my eyes got bigger when I noticed Niall, sitting at the cafeteria as Heidi sat down in front of him. The first part of the conversation was hard to hear but Niall seemed confused and when she handed him a sheet of paper, I frowned again. He stared at what was written on it and finally, she put her hand on top of his and I felt my heart jump high in my throat. The second part of the conversation though, I heard it very clearly.

“You’re right. We should get back together, Niall.” Heidi said with a soft voice. “I mean, I know you’re trying to make me jealous with her but let’s be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

This time, my heart sank in my chest and I swallowed hard. I was worth more than Heidi gave me credits for, I knew it now, but I also knew she would never see it. Perhaps, she was too busy trying to win Niall back.

“Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I’m with Liv and.. aren’t you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, I’m just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved… the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?"

I bit my bottom lip, breathing in deeply again and trying to suppress a small smile of relief when I heard my boyfriend's words. The fact that he admitted that he failed to love me right the first time made something stir in my stomach. I knew that failed relationship was not just on him, but it was nice to hear him admit that, especially to someone else.

“Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!” she argued with him.

I saw Niall roll his eyes and his next words were as harsh as the tone he had used.

“I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn’t about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!” he let out rudely. “I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck’s sake, Heidi! What’s the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I’m sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone.”

The video stopped but I still stared at the screen, lost in my thoughts, until Tinka talked again.

"I don't know why i recorded this, and I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." she apologized again. "But it was recorded anyway so I mean, why not show it to you?"

I just stared at the thumbnail of the video again before clicking on the 'delete' button and when it asked me if I was sure, I clicked on 'yes' without hesitation.

"Thanks, Tinka. I deleted it." I finally said, looking up at her before she nodded. "But thank you for showing me. Just... don't do that again, please. Niall and I we're both very... private."

I handed her her phone back just as an other knock was heard at the door. We both got up and I opened the door as she walked past Niall. He nodded at her and finally turned back to me, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't help but tilt my head, glancing down at him, telling myself once again how good he looked. I also couldn't stop thinking about the way he had told Heidi he loved me and it made me want to hug him.

"Olivia, I'm.. so sorry."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows, expecting more than just a simple apology.

"You're right. It was so wrong, and we shouldn't have." he added, making me lick my lips. "We were literally trying to find something to talk about, and it was so awkward... the only thing we really have in common is you. But we shouldn't have."

I let my shoulders fall and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. "So I really make some sort of whimper when you slip your hand in my panties?"

He chuckled and took one of his hands out of his pocket to pass it in his hair. "Yea, you do. But I'm slightly jealous knowing you also whimper like that when he did it. I thought I was special."

"Oh, poor little boy thought he was special." I joked, making him grimace too. "Come here."

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside before closing the door behind him. He was close to me, so close I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine, and when my ass met the counter, I smiled more. He chuckled as he stared down in my eyes and shook his head slightly.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mm, maybe."

I felt his hand slip in my jeans and panties and my eyes fluttered slightly as my lips parted as I let lout a whimper despite myself.

"And now?" he asked, clearly amused by the effect he had on me.

"I'll tell you in a few minutes." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at him better.

I felt two of his fingers brush gently on my clit before he slipped them inside me. I moved one of my legs up on the counter and he moved closer to me, bending down slightly until his lips were only a few inches away from mine.

"You're all mine, yea?" he whispered, making me bite my bottom lip. "Say it."

"Mm, I'm all yours Niall." I breathed out, blinking a few times. "I belong to you."

"Fuck yes you do."

He started fingering me quickly, making sure his palm was rubbing against my clit and when I felt an orgasm spread all over my body, I let my head fall back and shook slightly as he pressed his mouth against mine. I could feel his lips curl as I came and I finally got down from my high, whimpering low and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Okay, I forgive you." I whispered, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before moving my head slightly back. "Do you think that's how Dylan will want to be forgiven too?"

I laughed lightly at the face he made and I heard him groan low. "I'll kill him."

I shook my head a bit and my amused smile turned into a fond one. "You know, I never ever moaned his name." I admitted, licking my lips. "I only do that with you."

He looked happy with my confession but he still raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because... I was always scared I'd moan your name instead."

His face changed and somehow, I could read love in his eyes and it made me swallow hard. He remained silent and my lips parted again.

"I've never stopped loving you, Niall." I murmured. "I told you."

"Guess what, Olivia?" he let out in a soft tone, his eyes roaming quickly on my face. "I never stopped loving you either."

----

August 15th, 2018

Dylan had stopped me before I left and had apologized to me profusely. He even texted me the next day to apologize again and I forgave him immediately. Maybe it was because I felt a bit guilty for not telling him about the video Tinka had showed me where his girlfriend was blatantly trying to get back with my boyfriend, but It was easy to forgive him and I knew he felt horrible about it. I was still unsure if I should tell him and at the same time, I didn't want to be the reason of their break-up, or even of a fight so I deciced to ignore it for now but that didn't stop me from feeling bad.

It was almost time for Niall to go back on tour and I felt extremely nervous about it. It had taken me about a week to decide on what I would do. I wanted to go with him but at the same time, I didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend who followed him everywhere. With time, I realized that I could follow him without going back to my old habits but I still had no idea how to tell him. He hadn't mentioned it again, probably because he didn't want to sound pushy or make me feel like I had to follow him, but my insecurity sometimes tried to make me believe it was because he didn't really want to spend so long with me.

"Why did you want me to come with you, Louis?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and turning to him as he was parking. "You know it's one of my last few days with Niall."

Louis laughed and shook his head, turning to me to look in my eyes.

"We both know you're gonna follow him on tour, Liv. Who are you trying to fool?" he said, his accent thick. "You can spend a few hours with your best friend, can't ya?"

I felt my heart skip a beat at how well Louis knew me, sometimes even better than I knew myself, and I realized that I had opened up to him like I had never opened up with anyone else besides Niall. And I didn't regret it at all.

"Yes. You're right."

"Look," he started again, turning on his seat to look at me. "I have something for you."

He searched through his pockets and handed me a well-folded piece of paper, which was surprising. Normally, anything that ended up in Louis' pocket was crumpled or crushed. I frowned a bit and took it before unfolding it gently and carefully.

"I drew it meself. Took me hours."

My lips parted as I looked at the drawing of a crown. It was pretty and he clearly had put a lot of effort into it. It was not perfect, but I thought that's what made it look even more special.

"Wow, Louis... this is..."

"I made it for you." he cut me gently. "If you wanted to get a tattoo, that is. It represents you well, don't ya think?"

I looked up in his eyes and weirdly, I could read stress, like he was not sure how i'd react. The fact that Louis always called me his queen, and that he had even written a song about me with that word made this drawing even more important for me and as soon as his eyes met mine, I knew it would be impossible for me not to get this tattoo.

"I think it represents you, actually." I explained, tilting my head and looking at him. "This tattoo will always remind me of you, and I want you to know that you're important to me, Louis. I would be dead without you. Literally."

His lips curled slightly on the right and stress disappeared from his traits.

"Now you need to draw something for me to get, too." he pointed out.

"Wait, so we're here to get you a tattoo that I would draw?" I asked as his smile turned into a smirk.

"Exactly."

"Can it be simple? I can't draw for shit." I admitted with a grimace.

"Just draw it, give it to the artist, and I'll look at it when it's done."

I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling my heartbeats accelerate and after a while, I breathed in and out. After all, if he didn't like it, he could always get something over it, right?

It took half an hour to get the crown tattooed on my ankle but only about 10 minutes to get the smiley I had drawn for Louis. It was pretty simple with x's instead of eyes and since it was on his wrist, he kept his eyes closed the whole time to make sure it wouldn't ruin the surprise. We walked back to his car in silence about an hour later and sat down, both of us leaning against our seats.

"Is it too simple?" I asked before he turning his head my way with a smile.

"No, it's perfect."

I smiled back at him and held my hand up between us. It took him a few seconds but he finally grabbed it, intertwining his fingers with mine and squeezing my hand.

"Thank you for saving my life." I let out in a soft voice. "Literally, but also metaphorically."

"You saved mine, too."

---

When I walked back in Niall's house... I mean, in our house... I heard him talk and frowned, trying to be quiet in case he was on the phone. I saw him in front of his laptop, just talking to the screen and it took me a few minutes to realize he was probably on a live chat on instagram. I made sure to remain silent and walked to the kitchen to gt myself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter. I listened to what he was saying from the living room, smiling and chuckling from time to time until I heard him say his goodbyes. I wanted an other minute or two, knowing Niall was the kind of person who said bye by stayed an other half an hour with his hand on the doorknob before actually leaving and when I joined him in the living room, he was getting up.

"Are you done?"

"Yes, sorry, I thought it would take you longer." he apologized, making me smile.

"No, it's all good, it's cool that you do lives for your fans." I just shrugged, joining him near the couch. "Your such a good person."

He smiled more and took the glass from my hands before placing it on the coffee table. I chuckled and he wrapped his arms around my waist, raising his eyebrows.

"And does that turn you on?"

I laughed some more. "Maybe."

He didn't answer anything. Instead, he pressed his lips against mine as his arms pulled me even closer. My eyes fluttered close as he deepened the kiss and I sighed low, feeling my body relax in his arms.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." he whispered before kissing me some more,

"I'll miss you more."

He stepped forward, forcing me to take a step back, and guided us around the couch and until the hall. I ended up hitting my back on the wall and I laughed against his lips.

"Clumsy ass." he said in the same amused tone he always said it. "I love you."

We finally ended up in our room and he closed the door with one of his feet, bringing me to the bed and quickly putting himself on top of me. I loved the feeling of his body over mine, warming me, and it always surprised me that every time, it would make a shiver cross my back. I shivered in his arms and he pulled away slightly to look in my eyes.

"How about we stay locked here until I have to take that fucking stupid plane?"

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted before I tilted my chin up. "Don't you have somewhere to be tomorrow?"

"I canceled." he admitted, his eyes dropping to my lips before he ground his hips against mine, probably without thinking.

"For me?" I asked with a small smile.

"For us."

I brought my hands to his cheeks and let one of my thumbs brush on his bottom lip. "How many times are you gonna make love to me until you leave?"

His lips curled again and he chuckled low. "As many times as I can."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #1dff #my fanfics #yam

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dreamingabouthendery · 4 years

Text

Soarin’ (m)

pairing: jaemin x reader

au: disneyland worker!jaemin and reader

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 6.4k

warnings: smut, swearing, mentions of drugs (you’ll see), descriptions of sick? slight tainting of childhood (not enough to scar), controversial opinions (but not literally), unfunny humour

specific smut warnings (in case you dont want spoilers): fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex (but assume character is on the pill), semi-public sex?

summary: You have worked at Disneyland since the first year of uni, which has all but destroyed your ideals of magic. But when a new boy becomes the Mickey to your Minnie, you can’t help but find yourself intrigued by the bright-eyed newbie. Maybe Disneyland is magic, afterall. (this sucks im so sorry)

very, very heavily inspired by this thread on reddit. also, i hope you enjoy! any feedback will be much appreciated (this is my first fic as im sure youll be able to tell)

Ah, Disneyland, ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’. If you’re a child, that is. Not only can you meet your favorite characters who are probably doing lines in the back between rounds, but you have the honour of being able to watch them dangle helplessly from a wire during the firework display and narrowly avoid death. It’s no wonder you’ve been working there since your first year of uni.

‘Johnny told me there’s a new Mickey coming today.’ Eva, Princess Tiana and, quite frankly, the only decent princess in the whole park, says. She’s currently struggling to pull the long, white gloves over her own blue plastic pair of gloves she puts on for ‘safety reasons’ - her words, not yours. Though, it’s not like you can blame her when the outfits only get washed...well, never.

The two of you are currently the only two in the spacious dressing room which is permanently accompanied by the stench of sweat clinging to the walls, especially since it’s summer.

‘Oh, really?’ You ask from in front of her on the worn wooden bench, pulling your clunky yellow shoes on that dwarf your feet in their enormous size. It took you months to be able to walk in them without constantly tripping. Thankfully, it seems they at least got a wash after being puked on a few days ago.

She nods, moving towards the vanity and smoothing down a stray hair. ‘I know, it didn't take them long. Poor Jeremy, though.’

You hum in agreement. Jeremy ran into some trouble whilst covering a shift for the Donald Duck regular, resulting in a few broken ribs, a black eye and a dislocated shoulder. Or so the NDA requires you to say, anyway. Needless to say he quit on the spot.

‘____?’ You turn and see Johnny, your manager, making his way over to you with a cute guy in tow. ‘This is Jaemin. Jaemin, this is ____. He’s the new weekend Mickey regular. I need you to show him around Toontown discreetly,’ He gives you a pointed look to remind you that your characters aren’t supposed to talk. ‘And then you can camp out in Mickey’s House until the attractions close.’

You smile at Jaemin and he smiles back sheepishly as Johnny walks away without another word. Jaemin has arguably the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen, accompanied by the prettiest lips and the prettiest - is that too many ‘pretty’s? - twinkling eyes and you can wholeheartedly say you have no problem showing him around ‘discreetly’.

‘Hi, Jaemin.’ You say, suddenly aware of your current state of half-dress with your suit still unzipped and bunched around your waist. You catch him glancing at your exposed top-half and quickly zip up the back before clearing your throat and gesturing towards the locker opposite yours. ‘Mickey’s suit is usually kept in there.’

‘Uh, thanks.’ He turns quickly before looking back at you, clearly not wanting to ask you to leave but not wanting to change in front of you.

‘Meet you outside?’ You take the hint and stand up, grabbing Minnie’s head and placing it over your own.

He nods gratefully and you leave.

‘You’ll have to get used to that, you know.’ You say quietly as he joins you. For a late Saturday afternoon in the summer, the park isn’t as busy as usual; only the occasional family loiters in Toontown, though in the distance you can see the beginnings of a crowd forming in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle in preparation for the fireworks as the sun begins to set.

‘Used to what?’

‘To seeing other cast members undressed and to them seeing you undressed.’ You say simply, waving to a child with a short brown bob and bucket hat that’s walking towards you as you head slowly from the staff area towards Goofy’s Playhouse. The child stops and asks both of you for your autographs, something that every Disney cast member has to perfect before they get to wear their suit.

‘Right,’ He mutters when she leaves. ‘What happened to the guy before me?’

You glance at him from the corner of your eye, momentarily forgetting you can’t see his face. ‘What’ve you heard?’

‘Nothing, why?’

You sigh. ‘He was jumped by some asshole teenagers. You don’t need to worry, though,’ You add quickly at his sharp intake of breath. ‘You aren’t dressed as Donald Duck so you should be fine.’ You joke.

He laughs slightly at that. ‘Who thought dressing up as a kids’ character could be so dangerous?’

‘Oh, you have no idea.’ You laugh, a little too loudly, drawing more attention to yourself than usual but automatically correct your pitch to match Minnie Mouse’s. You wave at the kids that turn to look at you and they hurry over, asking to take pictures. After they run back to their parents, you turn to Jaemin and ask, ‘So, why did you apply for the job?’

‘Wow, it’s like a second interview.’ You shake your head, mumbling a quick apology. ‘I’ve never actually been to Disneyland before, and you know,’ He gestures his hand aimlessly. ‘This is supposed to be The Most Magical Place on Earth’ - he quotes - ‘so, I guess I wanted to experience the magic firsthand.’

‘That’s Magic Kingdom.’ You correct automatically.

‘Huh?’

‘That’s Magic Kingdom’s motto. Ours is ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’.’

‘Huh. I guess there is a difference, then.’

‘Of course there’s a difference. Magic Kingdom isn’t nearly as good as Disneyland.’ You say simply.

Jaemin snorts. ‘I’m sorry I offended you.’

‘Anyway,’ You say, ‘If you’re looking for a magical experience, you’re coming at it from the wrong angle.’

‘Exactly how bad is it to work here?’ He questions, though you can hear a hint of amusement in his tone.

‘The best I can give you is unforgettable.’ You would explain to him the number of times you’ve caught both members of the public and workers having sex in various places including on various rides, and how Haunted Mansion is notorious for having people leave their loved one’s ashes in it despite the fact they just get vaccumed up, but it’s only his first day and you don’t want to scare him off.

‘Gotcha.’ He merely says and you continue on to show him the Chip ‘n’ Dale Treehouse, your favorite place in Toontown. At night, the treehouse is lit in such a way as to make it whimsical, the ragged branches no longer menacing as they are during the daytime. You can’t complain at the fact that it’s quiet due to the fact that most people overlook it, either, instead mistaking it as decoration and not an actual attraction that you can go in.

This makes it the perfect place to hide out in the nighttime, when people are busy with the most popular attractions and has made it sort of an escape to you. Well, that and it’s given you a bad back.

You pause in front of Mickey’s House. ‘This is your crib,’ you joke. ‘Are you ready for your first official shift?’ You say, feigning drama in your tone.

‘Oh, gee, Minnie, I sure am!’ He replies in Mickey’s tone, emulating it perfectly and making both of you crack up.

‘I have to warn you, though, expect your arm to go dead within the first few minutes from all the waving.’

‘Noted. This job isn’t going to give me carpal tunnel syndrome, is it?’ He asks, only half serious.

‘No, but it may make you hate kids.’

He chokes, but before he can say anything in reply, a small boy who looks about four illustrates your point by pulling down his denim shorts and taking a dump right on the tarmac next to the hideous grey mouse-shaped letterbox.

You can read Jaemin’s horror in his speechlessness as you merely sigh and pull out your radio to call in, ‘We have a code Pooh outside Mickey’s House, over.’

As you walk in your front door to your shared apartment with your roommate, Ailee, you catch her and her boyfriend, Sam, making out on the couch in the living room. You two met in the first week of uni when you both ended up at some frat party that you hated and hit it off.

‘Ew, gross, guys. You have a bedroom, you know.’ You say, throwing your bag on the coffee table and slumping down on the couch next to them, sinking into the plush white cushions.

Ailee merely throws her head back and laughs before saying, ‘Tell me all about it.’

You frown. ‘About what?’

She tuts at you impatiently. ‘Work, duh. Everyday you come home it’s been a bad day,’ She plays with a few strands of your hair comfortingly. ‘So, tell me about it.’

You scrunch your nose up. ‘Nothing out of the ordinary happened.’ You say simply, looking at your nails.

Sam laughs. ‘Even I know you look at your nails when you’re lying, ____.’

Your mouth falls open in shock, offended. ‘I do not.’ You insist and scowl internally.

‘You do,’ Ailee agrees. ‘But it’s okay, that doesn’t matter right now. What’s the juicy story for today?’

You roll your eyes. ‘I’m glad my misery is so entertaining. The only thing that’s different is that there’s a new weekend Mickey regular.’

Ailee and Sam share a pointed look. ‘And?’ She asks, drawing out the syllable.

‘And he’s cute. I guess.’ You add as an afterthought.

Ailee snorts. ‘You guess?’

You groan. ‘Okay, he’s cute, period.’ You concede.

‘So, ask him out.’

‘Can’t. It’s against the rules.’ You mumble.

She gives you an exasperated look. ‘____, sweetie, you’re the most lax person with a job still in the whole park. What’s one date to you that nobody knows about?’

You bite your lip. She does have a point. You think about how cute Jaemin was when he was nervous to greet the kids at the House and hide your grin.

‘She’d have to actually see him again, though, right?’ Sam interjects, interrupting your daydream.

‘Sam, don’t be such a Debby downer.’ Ailee whines.

Whilst it’s true that cast members in a couple usually split up, you doubt they would make Jaemin do his second shift on his own. Resolving to pluck up the courage to ask him out, you go to bed that night apprehensive about the following day.

Apparently God is punishing you for some unknown reason, because you don’t see Jaemin at all that day, or the week after. In fact, you don’t even catch a glimpse of him or the big round ears that are telling of Mickey’s character.

Eve informs you that Johnny teamed him up with Goofy for ‘variety’, meanwhile you’re being sent over to Soarin’ in Grizzly Peak, the most boring area in the whole park due to its unpopularity. You can’t help but worry slightly about Jaemin, though, thinking of the previous time you saw Daniel, Goofy’s actor, when he pulled a flask from seemingly nowhere inside his costume and took a long, deep drink before heading back out, slightly stumbling.

Before you step out, Bella, the girl who plays Cinderella (no, the irony is not lost on you), stops you and says, ‘Oh, ____, I heard the new Mickey Mouse arrived yesterday. Fingers crossed you don’t scare him into quitting, too.’ Ever since you auditioned for the part of Cinderella and lost it to her, Bella has taken to rubbing your inferiority in your face every chance she gets.

You roll your eyes and Eve says back, ‘Oh, fuck off, Bella,’ She turns to you. ‘She’s just jealous ‘cause she thinks he’s cute and he hasn’t even acknowledged her yet.’

You snort as Bella narrows her eyes and stomps away as best she can in her flimsy costume heels.

‘He was asking after you when he came in earlier, you know.’ Eve says.

‘Jaemin was?’

She hums before saying, ‘He looked so disappointed to be paired up with Goofy.’

You feel the blood rushing to your face as you smile. ‘Really?’

Eve looks at you knowingly. ‘Yep, said he wanted to thank you for being so understanding yesterday since no one wants to babysit the newbee.’

‘I’d happily babysit the newbee anytime if they looked like that.’ You say and Eve laughs.

Whilst you’re at the most boring attraction in the park, the day is still no less than eventful. You encounter a child stuck in a tree trying to skip the line for Anna and Elsa’s Royal Welcome on your way to the bathroom due to the nearest one being blocked off. After you manage to actually use the bathroom, you’re surprised to see Elsa herself there, half-dressed at the sink and you can’t help but wonder if that’s the reason the line is so long. To top it all off, one of the only times you manage to fill the ride at Soarin’, you notice a couple getting on while holding a backpack that’s moving and alert the ride operators. When they finally report back to you that there was a six-month-old baby in there, they have to convince you not to ring child protective services.

After you slam your locker closed in the deserted dressing room, you sink down on the rigid bench, putting your head in your hands and massaging your growing headache.

‘____,’ A voice starts and you jump, looking up to see Johnny standing above you, clipboard in hand. He barely gives you a second glance when he startles you, instead pretending not to notice and continuing, ‘I need you next Friday for a grad night.’

You groan. Grad nights are the worst events Disneyland continuously puts on, in the past coming second only to Nights of Joy, the annual Christian festival, before it was cancelled for good. Even the managers rejoiced in the abolition of Nights of Joy. ‘Can’t you find someone else to be Minnie? Everyone knows how bad grad nights are.’

Johnny sighs. ‘Fine, then. I’ll put you on watching the cameras for Star Tours with Jaemin.’

You ignore the way you want to immediately jump on the chance for some one-on-one time with Jaemin and raise an eyebrow. ‘Aren’t you not supposed to do that? You know, because he’s new and I’m not trained in…’ You trail off at the glare he’s giving you and purse your lips, nodding your head in acceptance.

‘Great, thanks.’ He says sarcastically and walks out.

At least the next time you return to Hell on Earth it won’t be in a Minnie costume.

You feel strange as you unlock and push open the door to the CCTV monitor room. If you had to put money on it, you would say it’s because this isn’t your job and you technically shouldn’t be here, but you’re not much of a gambler.

The heavy metal door gives way, opening to a small room with roughly fifty monitors, each displaying the Star Tours ride, the attraction itself as a whole and the surrounding area. You note the odd statue opposite the entrance that you don’t remember the name of - the satellites surrounding a distinct shape that is rocket-like. You shake your head internally at the sight. Why are the only pretty decorations reserved for Fantasyland?

You also note the dim red lighting and frown in confusion as your eyes land on Jaemin, sitting in an office chair in front of the wall of screens, wearing the same uniform consisting of a pale blue shirt and black trousers as you, except wearing it a hundred times better.

He turns upon your entrance, smiling as he takes in your attire. ‘I thought I’d set the mood with some lighting.’ He grins cheekily.

‘Oh?’ You say, stepping into the room, locking the door behind you. ‘What mood is that exactly?’

His smile grows wider as he says, ‘Adventure. We’re in for a night, so I hear.’

You groan, ‘You’ll wish you never agreed to doing this.’ You make your way to the chair next to his, sitting down on the flat cushion and leaning back.

‘How bad can it really be? These are literally a bunch of eighteen-year-olds who aren’t of legal drinking age yet and they’re supervised.’

You shook your head in mock sympathy. ‘Sweet, sweet, naive boy,’ You say. ‘Now you’ve jinxed it.’ You eye his coffee cup and wrinkle your nose in distaste at the black liquid. It looks like you’re staring into the pits of Hell. ‘What is that atrocity?’

He follows your gaze and laughs. ‘It’s coffee. Wanna try some?’ He maintains eye contact as he takes a sip and then offers it to you.

‘God, no. I have self-respect.’

He places it back down next to an intimidating set of controls, a hint of amusement in his eyes. ‘Also, I wanted to say thank you for the other week. For showing me around and stuff.’ He looks down shyly.

‘Oh, it’s, um, no problem. How have you been coping?’ You ask slightly awkwardly, not knowing what to do at his sudden personality flip-flop.

‘It’s a lot harder than I imagined it to be, honestly. I thought the worst that could happen would be screaming children and impatient parents.’ He admits.

You nod. ‘I thought the same when I first started last year. Little did I know the Karens were the least of my problems.’

He laughs breathily. ‘Tell me about it. I don’t know how you’ve managed to last so long.’

You shrug, embarrassed. ‘I just like making the kids’ day I guess.’

He coos and you push him lightly, smiling. ‘Why don’t we play a game?’ He asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You narrow your own eyes. ‘What kind of game?’

‘Hmm,’ He pretends to think, tapping his chin. ‘How about twenty-one questions?’

‘Okay,’ You say slowly. ‘What are our rules going to be?’

He smirks. ‘You only get one get-out-of-jail card. And if you use it, you have to do what the other person says.’

You sigh. ‘Fine. Then, follow-up questions to your answers don’t count.’

‘Deal. I’ll go first,’ At your mildly worried look, he says, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you. What are you studying in uni?’

‘Business and management.’ You say instantly, and he looks intrigued. ‘It was either that or English lit, and my parents weren’t too keen on me studying that.’

He frowns. ‘Why not?’

You avoid eye contact as you answer. ‘They’re both doctors,’ You clear your throat. ‘Are you in uni?’ You love your parents with all your heart but sometimes you wish they would just be happy with you being happy.

He takes the hint and moves on. ‘Yeah, I’m actually doing photography.’ He says, scratching the back of his neck.

Your head perks up. ‘Really? That’s so cool. My roommate is studying photography, too. Is that what you want to do after you graduate?’

His face relaxes. ‘I’m not really sure, to be honest. I just know it’s something I’m passionate about, you know?’ At your nod of encouragement, he continues, ‘There’s just something so amazing about capturing a moment forever in a way that really brings out its true beauty.’

You give him a small smile. ‘That sounds really special.’

He shrugs, though you can tell he appreciates it. ‘Anyway, it’s your turn to answer. Do you have a boyfriend?’

If you were drinking something, you’re sure you would have choked. ‘I-no?’

He looks slightly put out. ‘Is it complicated?’

You shake your head, maybe a little too hard. ‘No, sorry, you just caught me off guard. No, I don’t have a boyfriend.’ He looks instantly brighter. ‘Why, are you asking me out?’ You tease.

He blushes. ‘I mean, uh, I, um-’

‘Oh my God,’ You laugh, though you feel disappointed. ‘It’s okay, I was only joking. Ouch.’ You’re almost glad you didn’t get a chance to ask him out and make things awkward between the two of you. Maybe not seeing him for two weeks was a sign from the universe not to fuck up.

‘I didn’t mean it like that, oh God, I’m sorry.’ He groans and buries his face in his hands.

You tap him playfully on the shoulder. ‘It’s fine,’ You can’t help but feel hurt. Why did he ask you if he doesn’t care whether you have one or not? Maybe you’re just reading too much into it. ‘My turn, anyway. What’s traumatized you the most since working here?’

‘Learning that when cast members say ‘have a Disney day’ they really mean ‘fuck you’.’

You throw your head back and laugh. ‘That’s my favorite. Although as far as things go, that’s pretty vanilla.’

‘Maybe I’m a vanilla guy.’ He teases, and you can’t help but let your mind wander to an image of him hovering over you, reaching up to intertwine your hands together as he moans sweetly in your ear and you feel your face heat up.

‘So you’re admitting you’re boring.’ You joke halfheartedly, almost off-beat.

He places his hand over his heart in mock hurt. ‘That was uncalled for. Alright then, little miss kinky, where’s the most daring place you’ve had sex?’

Your eyes widen comically. ‘I-’ You glance at the monitors and see two figures in the back row of the mostly deserted ride, one hunched over with their head in the lap of what you make out to be a guy judging by the other figure’s movements. ‘Oh my God, no!’ You cry and fumble for the microphone.

‘What? What is it?’ Jaemin asks, his eyes searching. You can tell the moment he sees what you’re seeing, because he instantly cracks up laughing.

‘It’s not funny,’ You whine, pressing the red button on the microphone and saying as firmly as you can as monotonous as you can, ‘This is a family-friendly ride. Please refrain from scarring’ - you hiss and the figure has the decency to bolt upright and you see that they’re a girl - ‘the camera operators and fellow riders. Thank you.’ The others on the ride look around in confusion, and you can see the girl turn to say something to the boy. Judging by the way she gestures, it’s safe to assume it’s something biting.

‘I thought you said this happens all the time.’ Jaemin says once he’s calmed down enough to make the words out.

‘It does,’ You keep your eye on the couple, the guy wearing a smug grin as he zips up his trousers and the girl looking meek and embarrassed. Good. Public indecency is no joke. ‘But that doesn’t make it any less gross. This is a kids’ park for goodness sake.’

‘But there aren’t any kids around.’

You give him an exasperated look. ‘Well, I would never be okay with doing it on a ride in public.’

He licks his lips and you follow the movement only slightly too closely. ‘So when I asked where the most risky place you’ve had sex is…’ He trails off, smirking.

‘You can cross a literal children’s park from the list of possibilities, and proudly so.’ You say stubbornly. ‘Please don’t tell me you have.’ You rush to say upon seeing his face.

‘I haven’t.’ He says slowly, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair, spreading his legs. You wish they didn’t look so inviting. You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

‘But?’ You probe.

‘But nothing,’ He says simply. ‘So, are you gonna answer my question or are you gonna forfeit?’

You scowl at him. ‘What do you want if I do?’ You can feel your pulse racing in both excitement and fear but you keep your face blank.

His eyes shine as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs. ‘I don’t know yet.’

You swallow at his suggestive tone. ‘Fine, I’ll tell you,’ You concede, and he seems to not know whether to be pleased or disappointed. ‘My ex was a bit of an exhibitionist. He, um, you know, touched me when we went to see a movie.’

Jaemin raises an eyebrow, but you miss the glint in his gaze. ‘I thought you weren’t down for doing it in kids’ places.’

‘We were watching Paranormal Activity.’ You say flatly.

‘And?’

‘And it’s rated eighteen plus!’ You defend.

‘Is that the furthest you’ve gone in public? No compromising positions? No p in the-’

You cut him off hurriedly before he can go any further. ‘I’ve just never done it anywhere risky,’ You sigh dramatically. ‘I think I’m vanilla, too.’

He laughs loudly. ‘You don’t have to say it like it’s a bad thing. Anyway, I never said I was vanilla.’

You frown. ‘Earlier, you did.’

‘Did I? Maybe I was just saying it to tease you.’ He smiles a wide, boyish smile, completely contradicting what he’s implying with his words.

‘Oh?’ You say breathlessly. ‘Well, okay then.’

‘Don’t believe me?’

‘I-what? I never said-’

‘Would you rather I show you?’ He offers and your breath hitches as you meet his intense eyes. The warm brown seems darker and he glances at your chest as you breathe deeply. You can’t believe he said that. In the short time you’ve known him, you’re taken aback at how quickly he can switch between shyness and confidence.

When you merely stare back at him, not knowing what to say, he stands up and closes the short distance between the two of you so that his knee grazes your own as he stands above you. ‘____,’ He says, a slight rasp in his voice. ‘I need you to say it if you want this.’

You swallow and whisper, ‘Yes.’

He cups your face with his hand, his thumb softly stroking your cheek as he brings his lips down upon yours. You lift your own hand to hold his wrist which is currently beside your face and use the other one to grip onto the arm of the chair to ground yourself in the moment.

You let loose a small whimper as he glides his tongue across your bottom lip, and you part your lips to allow it in. He grips you tighter before he pulls away from your mouth to trail wet kisses across your jaw. ‘Guess you ended up tasting my coffee, anyway, hm?’ He whispers lowly into your ear before pecking it and you shudder, with both pleasure and laughter.

‘I guess so.’ You look into his eyes and see the pure hunger that makes you squeeze your thighs together.

Jaemin notices and pulls you up gently, pushing your hips into the desk with the monitors above it. Taking the hint, you spread your legs to give him room to stand between them, and he praises a quick, ‘Atta girl’, before leaning back down to reconnect your lips. You now take note of the slight hint of coffee on his tongue this time but you don’t care as you impatiently and desperately kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. His hand ghosts up your thigh, making you shiver in his arms. He slowly moves to unbutton your bottoms, giving you time to stop him.

In response, however, you whine at what feels like his teasing and unbutton and unzip them yourself, causing him to chuckle as he pulls away. ‘Are you impatient, baby?’ You swoon internally at the pet name and nod, biting your lip.

‘Please,’ You manage. ‘Want you to touch me.’

He moans and slides his fingers into your underwear, not wanting to tease you over them after you asked so nicely. He grins as his fingers slide in your arousal and says, ‘You’re so wet already. Do you want me to make you come all over my fingers?’

‘Fuck, yes.’ You breathe.

His eyes drink in your rapidly rising chest and the utter desire written all over your face as he gently slides a finger inside you. ‘So tight and wet. How are you gonna take my cock if you’re this tight, hm?’ You whine and he eases a second finger in and starts thrusting at a pace that makes you arch your back.

Your hand flies to his bicep, feeling the way it flexes under your fingertips as he scissors his fingers inside of you. His thumb finds your clit and rubs hard circles into it, the pressure being just enough to make your toes curl. You lean into him and rest your head on his shoulder, pressing a swift kiss to the juncture between it and his neck. You marvel at the way goosebumps rise upon your touch and the way your breaths feel huffing against his rapidly heating skin. You can smell the faint scent of earthiness and wood from his cologne, which you take a deep breath of and breathe in his aroma as your hand winds itself in his hair and tugs when a particular deep surge of his fingers hits a spot that makes your brain go fuzzy.

‘Jaemin.’ You moan and he all but growls.

‘That’s it, baby, say my name. Are you close? Wanna see your face when I make you cum.’ His words weigh down your lower stomach like a ton of bricks, furthering you along in your chase to find your release. He nudges your clit deliciously, teasing you by rubbing around it every now and then, pulling you away only to bring you back with ten times the sensitivity and it’s enough to push you closer to the edge faster than when you touch yourself.

You feel the coil in your stomach tightening as you nod to answer his question and unbutton your top enough to fit your hand into your bra, your fingers finding your nipple and rolling it between them. You lift your face from his shoulder and stare into the seemingly pitless black of his eyes as they’re stuck to your face and the changes in your expression as he brings you to the edge. ‘Yes, don’t stop, please.’ You manage. His features are hard to make out in the dim lighting, but you notice the way his eyes zero in on your hand stuffed into your bra and it’s when he picks up the pace, fucking his fingers into you harder that you finally let go. Your eyes roll back and your grip on his arm tightens as you moan his name like a mantra.

He takes his fingers out after riding you through your high and makes eye contact as he sucks his fingers clean. ‘Mm, sweet.’ He teases.

You hide behind your hands in embarrassment and he laughs as he pries them away from your face. ‘You gonna let me bend you over this desk, now?’ He grins.

You nod meekly, your legs trembling as you stand up to your full height. Jaemin unbuttons your blouse as you return the gesture on him, pushing his shirt open to run your fingers down the ridges in his stomach. You teasingly flick your thumbs over his nipples and he gasps, to which you smirk and repeat the motion, causing him to moan and you bite your lip at the sound. ‘Sensitive, are you?’

He slaps your ass playfully in response, pulling your trousers and underwear down in one go. You reach behind you and unclip your bra as you step out of the pool of clothing at your feet, pulling it down your arms slowly. He opens his mouth to make a remark, but decides against it as your breasts come into view. He sucks in a breath and reaches up, tugging your left nipple that’s standing to attention. ‘You’re perfect.’ He says, taking in your figure.

You smile, hearing the sincerity in his voice. ‘I want to see you, too.’ You pout, pulling on his belt loops so that he’s even closer and then reaching down to undo them.

He helps you by unbuckling his belt and letting his trousers drop to the floor. You reach into his underwear and run your fingers down his length before wrapping your hand around it and moving it up and down. He throws his head back and you kiss down his neck, tasting the bittersweet salt of his sweat and the natural flavour of his skin. You pull him out of his underwear and begin to pick up the pace but all too soon he puts his hand over yours, halting you.

‘I want to come inside you.’ He phrases it like a question and you nod, turning around and bending over the desk. His hands smooth over the flesh of your ass as he says, ‘You look so good like this.’ Jaemin runs his length between your lips to lube himself and then situates himself so that he’s pressing against your entrance. ‘Ready?’

‘Yes. Please, Jaemin.’ You push your hips back so he gets the hint.

‘That never gets old,’ He pushes himself in steadily and you gasp at the stretch and how satisfying it feels. ‘Been wanting to hear you moan my name since the first day.’

You moan as he thrusts into you, hard and fast. His pace is almost bruising, the way he grips your hips assures you that you’ll feel a smattering of fingertip-shaped soreness tomorrow when you run your fingers over the area. ‘Me too.’ You say in between breaths. He reaches up to roll your bud between his fingers and you whine; your hand travels between your legs to rub your clit. It jumps a little from sensitivity but you keep at it until you just feel pure, white-hot pleasure.

‘Fuck!’ He shouts as you clench around him once he hits a spot that has you grasping his wrist. ‘You feel so fucking good,’ He praises, kissing up your back until he’s whispering in your ear, ‘So. Fucking. Good.’ In between thrusts. You shudder and turn your head, capturing his lips in yours. The kiss is messy but neither of you can bring yourselves to care, too lost in the feeling and taste of each other to pay it any mind. The sound of your hips connecting fills the small room, echoing as it bounces off the walls until your head is filled with his moans and his skin on yours and just Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin.

You feel yourself hovering over the edge almost embarrassingly quick and you cry out, ‘I’m so close.’

‘Yeah? Gonna come all over my cock like a good girl?’ He says huskily and you bite your lip and nod. You never would’ve guessed the timid boy you met on the first day who looked so innocent as the new guy had such a dirty mouth. It makes you shiver all over, loving the way his words caress your skin and make your nipples stand to an impossible hardness.

‘Yeah. Wanna be good for you.’

He groans. ‘You are, baby, you’re so good for me.’ At his words, you feel yourself come undone and your legs shake from the effort of holding you up. Jaemin whines as you clench around him sporadically, your breaths coming out in ragged puffs. You swear the sound pushes you harder for longer, wanting to do everything you can to hear him make such a pretty noise again.

‘Wait,’ You say, and he stops immediately. ‘I’m too sensitive. I can’t-’ Your voice cracks.

‘Can’t what, ____? Do you want me to stop?’ You can hear the genuine concern laced in his words.

‘No, well, yes,’ You huff and turn around, letting him slide out of you and you internally cringe at the feeling of him brushing against your sensitive walls. ‘Come here.’ You reach for his hands and pull him back over to you, closing the distance he put between you after you turned around. He looks confused as you smile lazily and kiss him sloppily, your hand moving between his legs to grab him at the base and squeezing him.

He moans and breaks off the kiss. ‘____, if you want to stop-’ You shush him as you drop to your knees and his eyes light up as you lean in to kiss the tip of him lovingly.

You trail your tongue from base to tip and take him in your mouth, suckling the head.

He curses. ‘Please don’t tease, I’m so close already.’

You relent, opening your mouth as wide as you can and sinking down to fit as much of him as you can. What doesn’t fit, you stroke with your hand. You can just about fit your hand around his girth and you can taste yourself on him, something you never thought you’d like but in that moment nothing could be hotter. He fists his hands in your hair, tugging slightly to make you look up at him. When you do, you moan around him at the sight - teeth tugging on his lower lip as he lets out moans here and there when you pay extra attention to the tip and his head thrown back, baring the honey-colored skin of his neck to your hungry eyes. He finally looks down at you and you’re close enough to hear his breath hitch as he watches you take him in and out of your mouth in a trance. You twist and tug him in a way that has his thigh twitching next to your head and so you place your hands on them and take him into your throat.

It’s when you simultaneously fondle his balls that he lets out a quiet ‘fuck’, followed by an ‘I’m coming’ and thrusts shallowly, causing tears to spring in your eyes. He releases into your mouth and you swallow it down and clean him off, earning that whimper that makes your clit throb.

Jaemin pulls you to your feet and into a kiss that you both commit to; one that’s passionate and slow as you calm both of your racing hearts and come down from the high of intimacy. You know he can taste himself on you, but he doesn’t hesitate to give his all. When he breaks away, he leans his forehead against yours, leaving wet kisses all over your face and you giggle. He runs his hands up your arms and says, ‘So, can I take you on a date now?’

You look into his eyes and nod, feeling suddenly shy at his vulnerable stare. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

‘So,’ He says casually, pulling you in closer by wrapping his arms around your shoulders. ‘Is this officially the weirdest place you’ve had sex?’

You gasp and slap his chest lightly but he just cackles in return, pulling you back into him.

#first #five #tags #dont #work #na jaemin #na jaemin smut #na jaemin fluff #nct dream smut #nct dream fluff #nct smut #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jaemin smut #jaemin fluff

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favvnsongs · 4 years

Note

Hey so what is ahead to still waters 👀👀

I - oof even what is Ahead to still waters, indeed, lmfao.

Uhm, so very long story short-ish:

Atsw is the sprawling, all over the place, sometimes a gritty traumatic war drama, sometimes an indulgent opulent space opera, occasionally an uncomfortable psychological horror, more often than not a heartbreakingly tragic and agonizing and tenderly romantic monsterbeast of a catradora(...?) fic that happened when a dubcon chipped!catra/adora pwp drabble morphed into Cry little sister and then that au morphed a second time into Ahead to still waters.

It's @trashcanpunch and I's favorite fic-child and we basically come crashing into one anothers DMs on a constant basis to scream feelings at each other. I mean mostly like angsty feelings as if we're on two different sides of a vicious guerilla war and heartbreaking plot moments or snippets or whatever the fuck are spike pits in the jungle but... yknow.

Lmfao no but uh. basically. Atsw, much like Cls, is the "what if" exploration i guess based on if adora&co had left catra behind after catra had helped to rescue glimmer off of prime's flagship.

(mind you that the backstory "lore" of the universe is only like... 5% canon compliant bc I dont fuck with canon when it comes to aus it's stupid and I dont like being limited like that lmao)

no but uhhh. yeah. without the events of Save the Cat, adora never really becomes she ra again. meanwhile, catra isn't forcibly baptized in the mountain dew pool of doom against her will and shoddy chipped and shoved into the hivemind. rather prime sees how much she's hurting and how much internal conflict and despair she's got in her, and very gently and tenderly and so so so uncomfortably grooms her into turning on etheria. essentially handing over not only everything she knows willingly, but also taking the light willingly, joining the hivemind willingly, but also giving herself over to the war effort bodily in letting him use her physically for the creation of little sister, who is kinda sorta an entirely separate personality? it's weird. that whole aspect is sorta... it hasn't been ironed out yet.

(if any of y'all are familiar with my aus, youll know nothing is concrete and everything is always changing and being retconned lol so things may change but)

catra is essentially given the light rather early? and the light and the chips and the hivemind all work differently than in the show, obvs. and she wants to repay prime for giving her a new home and a place of belonging and a purpose?

(oof and I loooove prime in this au. like. i love him because I have such a love hate relationship with him. and I think that's his entire point?? because he'll Make You Like Him??? and make you trust him??? and it's just So Good. and then you'll be reminded that he's an absolute fucking monster it's Amazing)

no but. so. catra. but also little sister. so like, catra is given the light and she's been relieved of her despair and her grief and her anger and bitterness and pain and all that jazz. she's also done some other shit too but we won't get into that here lol. she's earned her place, so to speak. but she wants to do more. she's a true believer. she has seen the truth and heard it from on high and followed him from out of the darkness with pure blind faith and been rewarded. she has really truly deeply drank the koolaid.

prime basically through some weird process splits her - personality? entire wholeass consciousness?? idek. but there's catra and little sister and theyre two different people but they're not and they have two separate personalities but they dont. and they have different memories and knowledge of things but then at the same time they dont. they share a body and a soul but thanks to chip shenanigans and prime's influence, little sister is intentionally so much stronger than catra, she's the one in control most of the time? and yeah sometimes, though very rarely, catra can shove her way to the front but more often than not prime has to allow catra to be present.

(it's not like she'd want to be anyways. committing warcrimes and whatnot. she's comfy where she is. as long as adora's safe she's okay to let little sister be of service to lord prime's plans. that's okay. as long as adora's okay, she's okay.)

but then yknow turns out prime is getting kinda bored af with the war and the heart of etheria isn't like. he doesnt really want it to blow up the universe bc that's dumb as fuck?? lmao what. he mostly either wants to harness that magic so no one else can have it who Would blow up the universe bc there are much more evil fuckers than Prime out there and they aren't members of the evil version of the space united nations or whatever who are all like "so hey uh what's the deal with basically that giant bomb I guess you were gonna take care of or something...?" or he wants to conquer etheria and her surrounding planets (which is mostly his current plan but etheria is kind of just... being a bitch..) bc he cant really just. leave something like that sitting in what is his backyard now. but either way he's getting really fed up and he's all "alright we're gonna just mass chip everyone fuck it i don't care" or something like that, and then honestly prolly destroy all the runestones or something and then just pack up and see if the planet explodes like a pressure cooker.

but also prime has a bit of a soft spot for catra (I mean its more that that but we're not gonna get into that rn) and shes all 🥺👉👈 do you think mebbe I could go and talk to adora and see if i could convince her to join the light? she might be so happy to see me that she'd say yes?

and little sister and prime are all "lmao this kid" and "oh you sweet summer child, how precious you are. sure, it's worth a try" but at the same time they both know that adora isn't an idiot and that she's gonna put two and two together and realize pretty quick why catra isn't dead and why she has a chip but hasn't been seen in years. and oh gee yeah I mean you've been committing God awful horrific atrocities but sure I'll come with you and join ur cult ex bestie sure ♡•°` so little sister pretty much promises prime that she'll kidnap adora if/when she says no to catra both bc adora is a good asset to have Anyway and bc like it or not she's got a soft spot for catra too, even if she's a spoiled little fuck who gets special treatment.

so adora obvs says no and catra is all 🥺 and little sister is all 😤🙄😒🗡🗡 and so adora gets kidnapped...? politely taken prisoner? ... rescued from maybe being blown up? ... reunited with her ex-bestie who she abandoned to prolly/potential doom? lmao pick one. catra is pouting bc adora was mean and rude even tho catra was so excited and happy to see her again and adora is grumpy and stubborn and impolite and little sister is like "I hate you both So Much" and prime is all "drama! I love it :3"

aaand I gotta go run errands and try to be productive so I guess thats all the explanation you'll get for now.

@trashcanpunch can prolly sum it up MUCH MORE seriously than I can tho lmfao

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself. i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he? like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it. So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit. That’s yet another way to put it. Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today? cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad! Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything. --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects. That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place. The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers. This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth? or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be. :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2. So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations. Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for? Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues. And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit. Karkat’s limited lifespan. As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation. We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we? >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus. I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason. Which it won’t! Right??? >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck. I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry. God damnit. SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!! *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends. That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true. What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this? It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm. Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy? Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff. He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much. <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!! Point taken. Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome. I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up. :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice. Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat. See y’all next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Breath and Blood #Light and Void

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be ��

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

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