#Ok lemme add the fandom tags too

[jennsterjay]

You ever just read a fic from a side of a fandom you haven't seen before because you've never heard of it until now and then you read the whole thing and it alters your brain chemistry and you'll never recover from this ?

[therulerofallpotatos]

Fic Tag Game

Tagged by: @wincestation, @realisticintentions, @realmermaid333, @cosmic-lullaby, @suchaladyy, @beri-allen

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

149

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

361,707 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday currently. Teen Wolf for six years. Harry Potter, Hannibal, Thorki, Starker, Twilight (Bella/Carlisle and Bella/Aro), The Umbrella Academy (not that i got very far before getting obsessed with wyler), and Madrigalcest (Primarily Brumira)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Overall?

Fuck It (Steter, Teen Wolf, 3,396)

When it Needs Fixing (Steter, Teen Wolf, 3,339)

Hostile Takeover (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,781)

Absolution (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,691)

Wandering in the Dark (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,250)

In Wednesday?

Her Monster (Wyler, 708)

Hold Me Close (Wyler, 593)

Revelations (Wyler, 499)

Warning, She Bites (Wyler, 464)

Impressing Wednesday Addams (Wyler, 387)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes. I reply when I have something meaningful to add. Otherwise it'd get very repetitive and generic and that kind of soulless connection isn't really the point of this kind of thing. I adore my comments nonetheless and I read them a lot.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hold on. I gotta skim my list.

update: i do not remember some of these fics or what happened in them

Maybe Modi the Brave (MCU, Thorki). This was an angsty fanfic of a fanfic. There was a happy ending in the original fic, The Rescue by madwriter223

I'm not counting Absolution because it was immediately followed by a sequel. But technically, it did get me the most angry sobbing comments which i treasure to this day.

The Final Straw was angsty but it was also dumb and half-cocked and the closest thing to an embarrassment on this account. It was literally just a half-thought half-scene of my 18yo self's emotional state in 2018 that is very evident that I wrote this angrily in study hall. I wrote a lot of fic in that high school during classes. Like a lot. It was my school computer. I got plenty of use out of it. There was no structure or coherent plot. I didn't even hint at anything deeper to be explored in your own minds. I didn't want to look at it long enough or think about it long enough. I just wanted it out of my head. If I didn't have a strict no deleting my works policy, or hiding from my past art policy, I would probably have deleted it within the week of posting. I do not understand how it has the kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks that it has. I guess it resonated. Good for y'all. I mean it.

Literally just the entirety of Tyler's Bad Year is meant to be about a very traumatic time in a young man's life and him surviving it. I'm not going to go through them and try to pick out "the worst" one. That's not really the point and it'd be largely subjective.

I'll Eat You Raw has an angsty ending but angstiest? I'm not sure.

I don't write a lot of bad endings. Open endings? sure. Complicated endings? Absolutely. But unhappy endings? No. I don't often have the desire.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Jesus fuck we want to be here all day? Ok lemme look through shit again.

Wandering in the Dark has a whole story behind it. There was actually two versions. Only one was posted to ao3 and is the "canon" version. I wrote this fic for a high school assignment my senior year. We were assigned to pick a chronic disease out of a literal hat, then write a story around it. We had complete creative control so I took that chance to write teen wolf steter fanfic in class and actually have it be on task for once (I got an A in that class btw). The reason my teacher got a dark ending version is because by the time he got back to me on the maximum word count, I'd already finished the canon version and it was way too long. I couldn't trim the fat, so I wrote a different ending to shorten the story. That version is one of the angstier stories I've written. The one posted and linked above, is the very happy by comparison. This fic is also designed to be read by someone who doesn't know shit about teen wolf.

Through Thick and Thin was also extremely happy. As is Her Monster. Benevolent Gods was meant to be very hopeful. The Hale Pack (Undying) was the end to a series that was my baby for a long time . Like long enough you can see my writing evolve as you go. Part one was one of the first things i ever wrote. Like ever. The last part was years later. Jasper was meant to be a very light-hearted, happy story as well. It's extremely sweet and fluffy. You was also very happy and the epilogue cemented that happiness. Warning: She Bites literally had a happy end that unknowingly prevented a main character committing suicide in the near future. Saving lives by being horny. Wednesday Evening, and every installment in that series, is excessively happy as well.

Alright I ran through my list of fics. These were the ones that stood out. There's too many to really commit to one answer tbh. Especially because the way they're happy varies.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. Or. Well. I'm sure I do. I block antis on sight and I wholly reject purity culture, and I haven't really been the target of a major attack or anything. I don't get as many hateful comments as one might think, and I don't entertain the ones I do get. I've been accused of vile shit of course because of a fic I wrote. I don't remember what fic or even what ship it was for because I don't dwell on them really at all. Aside from that, I get more entitled but probably ignorant to how they come off as entitled comments that aren't really that big a deal. Just a bit of a peeve sometimes. I honestly think the majority of them truly believe it's a kind gesture when they say it.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Yeah. You could say that.

What kind? In a word? Intense. I could make a joke or a long elaboration on my niche in hyde sex and whatnot, but at the end of the day, intense. Even my most laid back, domestic, slice of life fics have a sense of intensity to them because otherwise I get bored and it feels soulless and it's just not my writing style.

10. Do you write cross-overs?

When I feel like it. When I have an idea.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a steter fic on a russian fic website that was translated years ago. I have no idea which it was or if it's still there. Wait! I might remember. Yeah no. I don't remember. It wasn't the one I thought of.

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. I've started to outline one before but it went nowhere and we both forgot about it.

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Harry Potter and the Night that Changed Everything.

I had a whole novel basically planned for it. Writing Bellatrix and a Harry who was raised by Bellatrix took a lot out of me emotionally, and I lost steam.

Also, a Bella Swan/Marcus Vulturi fic that i also had a novel length plot planned out, wrote three chapters for, and then lost steam when I left the fandom due to getting the life sucked out of me by a bunch of toxic people in the fandom killing my joy. Those chapters are just collecting dust in my files right now. I'd like to go back to it one day and finish it in some form or another. Maybe it's original enough I could actually just write an original novel out of the scraps I already have. Actually, to be honest, it is probably original enough that I could write it as an original story. There is not a lot of Twilight there that is necessary to the story and can easily be written out. Something to think about maybe. Ironically not the first prompt I thought up initially for Twilight that I then realized nothing about Twilight was necessary for the idea I had, and I just wrote it without Bella entirely. This is how my original zombie novel started and then immediately evolved into an entirely different thing that has nothing to do w Twilight. Like literally nothing. I had to work to put the Twilight into that one. Not the other way around.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

wyler (steter and tomarry honorary).

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

pacing. movement heavy scenes. Longer projects if only because I have less practice at them.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Yeah. If it fits, I'll write it. I won't pretend to be fluent, but I'll do my best. Probably won't do anything too complicated for the sake of realism of my abilities. Especially if it's not Spanish which I at least have spent time trying to learn.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Wolf

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Listen...

We've established how well I am at picking one end all number one.

Fuck ok. back to the list.

Water of the Womb was one I was planning to write for almost a year and it turned out pretty good I think. Actually no.

No. It's not a fic that's been posted yet.

I think the favorite fic I've ever written is I Bit Him So He's Mine. it's my "Wednesday is a Hyde season one rewrite au". It's my first novel that is more than just a future novel. It's hit 40k and I have to start Act 2 still. It's my first proper murder mystery where the mystery is the primary plot equal to the romance. I've had a lot of fun with it, I've put my heart and soul into it, and I really look forward to calling it ready to post. Once it's done, you guys are getting regular updates for a long time.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Out of the Fire haunts me. It was a lesson to learn. I had the desire to write a steter/hannigram crossover and zero plan of any kind outside that. It crashed and burned because I only had a first chapter in me. I recently met a local and successful author who recognized my ao3 username because of this fic and remembered me years later enough to compliment my writing (I cannot express how much that meant to me). Wait no that might have been Mark of an Angel which also haunts me, but I didn't have zero plan. I had almost no plan, and lost steam when I hit a creative block at a bad time. Normally, I'd have just sat down and workshopped a starter outline and wrote myself out of that block, but I lost steam so I never did. Different deal. Not as impactful in my creative journey. Out of the Fire, however, was very important to me because of why it failed, and remains very influential with every new project I start. Actually rewriting/finishing that project would be a defining moment for me as a writer, I think. At least to me personally.

Tagging: @duplicitywrites, @dispatchvampire, @dark-visitors, @fiktorsempra, @graciebirdie, @gardenoblues, @grim-reaper-barbie13, @gabelish, @killingdoll, @lavender-lotion, @lovepoison9, @wednesdayandherhyde, @udunie, @itshype, @insomniac1994, @onlyangelxo, @obsidianpen, @ourdramaqueen, @persephoneed, @pororoh, @badmoodbatflowers, @brascu

[mesmerizms]

Okay so!!!! First of all dhjejw sorrry this took me forever it is so incredibly sweet of you to ask about the rp but thinking about it I wasn't sure where to start or what to hear!! But Im so excited to tell youa about it!!!!!

The rp is set about a year into the future from the recent graduation story on JP with a few OCs thrown in (one of which we got really attached to and she alone is upholding our quota of female representation, bless her soul <3). We generally speaking try to not make it explicitly contradict camon but we definitely go wild at times with what we can get away with without explicitly contradicting it. While I usually am more (oftentimes way too) serious in rp this one really balances seriousness and absolute crack and it's incredibly refreshing not having to take myself and the characters too seriously in it because it gives us the chance to develop them freely and without questioning the quality of everything, or at least that helps for me. We're also both getting into the fandom as we are writing it which has led on one hand to some hilarious moments in which we somehow absolutely predicted canon, but also to desperate moments of fumbling trying to explain why some things we established are canon when they are hard to combine with the source material (so far we have always been successful but let's see what the future holds). We don't take it too seriously (which again, rare for me so it's a true blessing) which has led to a few personal highlights I can tell you about djsks

-Kaoru cannot. cannot. notice when someone is gay. he'll misinterpret every hint and be absolutely shocked (not in the homophobic way, just in the very naive "what?? I had no idea!!) way when anyone around him is anything other than straight. Which is about everyone so he's truly in for a ride

-Koga gets rabies regularly without it affecting his brain in the way that usually makes people die (very vague, I know, my friend could peonably write you a thesis on it because they researched it, I could try too but Im not sure how inter3sted you are in the effect and treatment of rabies right now) and he accidentally gave it to his kindergarten girlfriend's dog

-whenever Eichi shows up he monologues for the duration about 3k+ words. My friend is responsible for these monologues. They have never read a single piece of actual Eichi dialogue/monologue. I have. Somehow, their monologues are SPOT ON

-Keito made a friend's parents eat sand in a frightening demonstration of his often forgotten theater kid self

-ibara always looms in the background having cameras everywhere and always watching in the worst moments. Sometimes we do something with it, sometimes we don't, but ever so often the view just pans to ibara cackling over some emabrrassing exchange or private information usable for blackmail he witnessed. He also wants to establish Eden as "the queer unit" on the international market as a marketing ploy to set them apart from other units, so Nagisa now had an ibara-assigned gender and sexuality. Ibara gets mad from a marketing perspective whenever members from other units come out

There are so many more things, these were just the first that came to mind, but i've probably been saying more than enough honestly, and it's also a little scary to share all that publically in an ask and not just in tags djsksks

I also want to add that I'd be more than happy to rp with you! I dont know where you usually do that but if you're still up I'll maybe just message you if that's alright and we can talk about it from there?

Anyway if you sat through all that thank you, it was probably very convoluted

Also, yuzuru is death and just waiting around to take eichi <3 (we have no justification for this one)

YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THE YUZURU BEING DEATH WAITING AROUND TO TAKE EICHI ON ME THEN DIP WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE THAT?????? THAT'S COOL AS FUCK??????

ok lemme address this in order uhhh

oh i LOVE balancing seriousness with crack it's so fun. predicting canon sounds hilarious i love this.

i love the mental image you've given me of kaoru being like "i love being an idol in ES everyone's such close good friends :)" and in the background there's two people practically making out on the couch.

I WASN'T VERY INTERESTED IN THE EFFECT AND TREATMENT OF RABIES BEFORE BUT NOW I'M INVESTED???? WHAT

i need to read the eichi monologues those sound fucking incredible.

begging for an explanation about keito making a friend's parents eating sand. like i'm fairly aware of keito being a theatre kid (generally instead of brain there is dramatica. i think about them very often) but???? hello????

i feel like that first part about ibara is just canon anyway for the most part tbh. anyway i REALLY wanna know what nagisa's ibara-assigned gender and sexuality is. anyway, most canon compliant ibara so true bestie.

i'd also be down to rp w/ you!!! i usually rp over discord, but recently my friends tried to get me into parp before it crashed and burned horribly so i'm sorta in-between mediums rn. i've been writing little ficlets in my google drive to help sate the urge to write. feel free to message me at any time! my tumblr dms should be open, but also my discord is pyroselkie#4130

[onlyhereforangst]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by @indestinatus 💕

tagging whoever wants to go thru this journey with me & see their accomplishments in this terrible terrible year!

1. List of works published this year:

Oh god there’s a lot, like 70 total in just 2020. I’ll try to categorize them so this doesn’t get too long 😅but here’s a cut for aesthetic on your dash.

Sequels/Partner Fics: Risk It All (for @hellokaelyn), Finally Home (to Come Back), They Always Do & Could She?, Lucky Day & Completely Yours, Fiery Trance (Two Can Play series), Obsessed (Particular Taste), Soul (to Ignited)

Smut: My Turn (sequel to My Pleasure), Worth It, Maybe We Should, Make it a Double (also a fic request), Shall We (AU)

Fic Requests: Coffee Run, Hold Still, Typical, Deal, Needed It, I’m Home, For Science, Cry Me A River, From Your Dreams (AU), Crystal Clear, Tempt Me, Your Fault, Prove It, Silent Proclamation, A Hundred Suns (angst smut), Duly Noted

Stand Alones: No More, Never Let Her Go, Life is Fragile, Pandemics & Peach Drinks, To Need and Be Needed, Never Let Go, Coming Home, Priceless, Behind The Mask, Need a Hand?

Angst: My Daisy, Status Quo, Can I Stay, I Refuse, Deal

Series/Multi-chaptered: Back Off (Better Apart, Missed The Mark, Change Her Mind, But You Do, Layered Love), Electrified (Don’t Stop (Senorita)), Here By Faith, Forgive & Forget, Angstober ‘20 (Never Has & Never Will, Only In My Head, Long, Long Gone, Do Something, Take Care, Waiting to Burn, Survive the Hell, Find Her, Never Ended Well, At All Costs, One Thing Right, Stay Away, Echoed Back, Smart Man, Not Interested, Flake Again, Release, Slipping Away)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Here By Faith mainly because of the topic. Pregnancy & Infant loss has been such a taboo topic for so long and something I have personal experience with so writing this was very therapeutic. 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Shall We and only because I truly wanted way more plot in this and it turned out to be essentially just straight smut with a tiny bit of plot. But it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Ok I had 70 fics to choose from not breaking down chapters so I’m sure I’m missing something, BUT I do love - omg typing this out I realized it’s from a fic in 2019 so I can’t use iiiiiit 😩 ok so here’s a couple excerpts. I loved typing out this stream of conscious partner fics (They Always Do & Could She?):

They Always Do:

Yet this time, this time she didn’t have the chance to rebuild. Like a Trojan horse, he waltzed right up to her and slowly dismantled her defense. Joke by joke, smirk by smirk—Nick took each brick down with care. The worst part? It was so subtle, so thoughtfully done, she didn’t even notice it was happening. Didn’t see her chest being pried open, beating heart on display for him to see, and take. Never realized her greatest defenses were missing until it was too late.

That love- precious, fragile, delicate love- had managed to grow again. In her desolate, cold heart, Nick managed to bring to life an emotion she had long given up on. An emotion she was too afraid to ever feel again. Because with it came agony.

They leave, and you’re abandoned- picking up the pieces of a shattered heart.

When you love, you lose. Always.

Could She?:

But-

Even if that was love, even if he loved Ellie with his whole heart, his entire being. Was that enough? Was Nick enough? Was he deserving?

A resounding no clanged around his skull like a church bell in a Southern town on Sunday morning. He wanted to silence it, stop the shrill metal sound that started any time he pictured forever. Any time he truly thought he might deserve to love, even after all he’d done. After all the unimaginable things he’d done, the horrors he’d seen, the pain he’d caused. That bell sounded, loud and clear.

How did he deserve love when he couldn’t bear to love himself?

[...]

Could she love him despite all his misgivings? Could she love him even when he didn’t love himself? Could she love him when there was a risk he’d be taken from her too soon?

Could she?

Please love me.

But please be sure.

There’s been a couple of other inner monologues that I have absolutely loved (I like to think it’s semi my speciality? But maybe that’s super arrogant of myself?) but that’s a different post for another time.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I said it recently but I *love* when people pick out specific line(s) from my fic and choose to comment on those. More often than not it’s a line I was so proud of either prose-wise or foreshadowing-wise or whatever and I get literally giddy with excitement that someone not only noticed it but also loved it enough to comment on it 🥰but truly any kind of comment is dopamine-inducing 😉

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

As some people may have noticed (& maybe not because I did still semi-run the other main ellick blog despite it) I was somewhat absent for most of the summer/fall. I struggled for the first time in my life with mental health issues, borderline depression after being in a shit work environment, an essential worker with a company that claimed to “care” about us, a community that I once loved but showed their true colors in the midst of the pandemic & election, add in a rough pregnancy & it was a recipe for disaster. I didn’t want to even move from the couch most days let alone write. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I had a lot of fun writing short excerpts from different characters’ perspectives (Jimmy, Kasie, McGee & Gibbs) in my Angstober series & honestly wouldn’t mind doing that again!

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Honestly not sure, I think I’ve just generally grown as a writer - better descriptions & descriptors, better dialogue, better plots. But that could all be me seeing things 😂

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’d love to look into writing more seriously. My husband is convinced I could write an episode script or a novel, so I may look into trying my hand at that (even though I feel I’d be god-awful at it 😅)

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Hmmmm I always appreciate the support I’ve gotten from the ellick fandom despite it being rough this year for us, wonderful people like @erinchristmaselvis, @thekeyboardninja, @hellokaelyn & @wanna-be-bold are always there to either hear me vent or cheer me on ☺️

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Haaaaah yes. Lots of it (but I bet you can’t tell because I only add mini snippets so have fun finding those easter eggs 😏)

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Always, always, always write for YOU. Not for anyone else, the kudos, hits, comments, none of it. Write for YOU. And I say this as a reminder to myself as well, it’s so hard to get bogged down in that dopamine-induced craze we search for in recognition but it’s so important to not externally validate yourself rather internally validate yourself on baby steps of growth & accomplishment. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

LOL how about all my WIPs? All of those stories I started forever ago that people call me out on not finishing months later when I swear they’ve forgotten about them 😬

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Hmmmm lemme pick one from each category because I’m indecisive 😉

Sequel/Partner Fics: Lucky Day & Completely Yours (the aaaaangst)

Smut: a tie between Maybe We Should & Make it a Double

Fic Request: A Hundred Suns (because I love me some angst smut)

Stand Alones: Pandemics & Peach Drinks (hahahaha because this was in an Insider news article at the start of the pandemic hahaha so on brand #2020)

Angst: My Daisy (I looooooove this one, but also all of the angst category lol)

Series/Multi-chaptered: literally not one of these is finished and they’re all heavy angst so take your pick 😂

15. Year word count: 103,050 in 2020 which seems like so little 😅

Here’s to 2021 being the year I finish WIPs! she says knowing she’s lying

[lefthandsuzukimethod]

tag people you want to get to know better

tagged by @captain-apostrophe! <3

tagging (but only if you want to): @vexingcosmos, @spectralprongs,  @brehaaorgana ,  @grandsairs, @christinismithe, @serendipitysunnyflower and anyone else who wants to do it!! <33

your name and then what you would have named yourself: ana! i am good with my name tbh idk that i'd change it

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): libra/leo/capricorn

when did you join tumblr and why?: i just checked and i have been a part of this hellsite since feb 2009 fladkfmaf i remember there was like a week that almost all of ontd_ffa joined @ once because one of us was like HEY THERES A COOL NEW SITE and i'm still here lmao

top 5 fandoms: like active fandoms or just Things I Like? obv rn like… mdzs/the untamed lmao, but also bnha and ffxv pero like in tiny circles??? idk fandom for me is better when u curate your experience, also yk when people are like hey what do u want for christmas and your brain decides it suddenly doesn't know anything? that's what my brain is doing right now lol, UHHHH lemme get back to you on the rest of them. OH i am also dipping my toes into the bts fandom with @spectralprongs's help!! <3 i'm also still very mad that in the flesh was canceled after 9 episodes

top 5 favorite films: pan's labyrinth, pacific rim, coco, jurassic park, the devil's backbone probably 

go to song when you wanna Feel something: when i want to feel WHAT THO? so many moods, so many songs if you get specific i might have a better answer lol

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i was raised catholic, so there's a flavor of catholic jokes that will always make me laugh

a song that makes you feel seen: la respuesta lmfaldfmllkm YO NO NECESITO UN HOMBRE QUE ME JODA

if you could have any career: i wanted to be a photographer traveling the world taking pics and getting paid for it, but idk i'm p ok where i am rn working in immigration law if only because i can help people

do you have a type?: sweet gremlin men with nice bone structure, women who could probably beat me up

what does your heart/soul yearn for: for unprecedented times to be OVER please a bitch is tired

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: I Cannot for some reason it's so hard for me to describe myself lol but if anyone else wants to answer this for me GO FOR IT

favorite subjects in school: photography! art! languages! english! french! music classes!

where does your soul feel most at home: anywhere i can relax with my favorite people <3  

top 5 fictional characters:                                        

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: OOF moments??? the first ep of futurama with seymour the dog, the season finales of itf, idk i try not to watch shows that are going to make me sad lmao i'm cheating and putting the beginning of up here too

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the earth we are not nice enough to her she's doing her best!!!! the stars are a close second but i don't get to look @ them enough thanks light pollution

favorite kind of weather: SNOWSTORM you can spend all day playing in it and then be cozy inside after with blankets and soup

top 3 characters you relate to: I CHANGED THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT WAS WORDED LMAO but every oldest sibling from the untamed who raised their younger siblings oldest siblings deserve financial compensation!!!, prob the weasley twins who are v smart but also v much not about their grades lol (that's 6 it counts)

favorite medium of art: all of them i refuse to pick one!!! well no i can tell u my least favorite art medium is art made from trash and/or period blood

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: extrovert allegedly

a favorite literary quote: bruh i haven't read an actual book in SO LONG i need to make more time to read

some of your favorite books: remind me about this one i am at work and have forgotten every single book i've ever read

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i think i'm ok here! i love traveling and visiting new places, but i live super close to a big city and i like having Four Seasons (total landscaping ladfkamdf i'm sorry it was right there)

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: mmm like cap said, history hasn't been particularly good to female-presenting people, and i'm gonna add that it's also been sorta terrible to not white people. NOT THAT NOW GOING PARTICULARLY WELL LMAO BUT UHHHH. if i could go just like watch history, maybe a period when art/music was having a big boom

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: piano!!! i have one but i can only play by ear lmao (it was an inheritance) i should be able to read music after many years playing different instruments but nope none of it stuck

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i do not have one

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: all of my recent selfies have been mask selfies i sent kie or pics of office puppy on the selfie camera WHOOPS i don't really take selfies

[normal-thoughts-official]

About my tags

ok so tumblr is purging nsf-w related tags, so i thought I'd update my tagging system so my nsf-w posts can still be avoided without being purged, and i thought id take this opportunity to explain my tagging system in case anyone needs it

my new nsf-w tags are:

smut: anything centered around nsf-w themes

trans magnus smut: ex.plicit stuff involving trans magnus, especially if it features gra.phic mentions of ge.nitals and whatnot

dirty words: dont laugh at me it's the best i could come up with okay. a post that isnt necessarily nsf-w centered, but that features ex.plicit words, for those who dont like them in any context

dirty mention: again I'm doing my best. a post that isn't nsf-w centered, but that features mentions of nsf-w themes, which are not ex.plicit

dirty image: p0rn images obviously arent allowed and ive never been one to reblog them anyway, but when an image depicts sen.sual acts ill be tagging it as dirty image

other relevant tags are:

salt: for any post where I'm complaining about anything, for those of u who dont want negative content. if it's negative, it's tagged as salt

cursed: posts that are purposefully disgusting and might make ppl uncomfortable. dont want to see me saying ayyy jace papi? filter out this one

anti (thing/chatacter): me hating on any particular thing if u want to filter out something specific. if it's a character, i always put their full name

anti (thing/character) fandom: when im complaining about a fandom, not a thing. like i complain about the sh fandom sometimes, but it's not anti sh because obviously, i like sh. DISCLAIMER: im not saying everyone in a specific fandom is this or that, okay, only that it has a tendency to. again, i'm in the sh fandom, so are many ppl that i love. its a generalization to keep it short

discourse: for discourse of all sorts

societal issues: anything related to social speakings of any kind

(thing) tw: kinda doesnt need explaining but i put all my tws in that order. i tag the more obvious ones like gore and pr*gnancy but if u need me to tag something specific, lemme know and ill add to the tags

long post: a post that's too long and it's gonna be a bitch to scroll past, so i can save yall time

clown shit: posts that are just me and my friends being clowns in public and probably wont matter to other ppl lol

HOW TO FILTER OUT: i only use Tumblr on mobile so idk about PC, but go to ur blog > settings > general settings > filter and add whatever you want to filter out. done! you are free of whatever you don't want to see

that's it thanks

[our-smooty]

The Munchies

Fandom: Gorillaz

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: 2doc

Tags: Food Porn, 2doc, whipped cream, unsanitary, gross, trans 2D

Summary: “You will get this place tidied up and ready for Noodle’s birthday,” Russel had growled before he left Kong that morning. He was taking their guitarist out to get an outfit for her birthday party, which meant the two other band members were left with getting everything ready. Including the cake.

“You will get this place tidied up and ready for Noodle’s birthday,” Russel had growled before he left Kong that morning. He was taking their guitarist out to get an outfit for her birthday party, which meant the two other band members were left with getting everything ready. Including the cake.

“How many eggs are we supposed to put in this again?” 2D asked, holding the carton precariously over the mixing bowl. Murdoc was fiddling with the stove, trying to get it set to the right temperature. With no answer, he plopped a few, whole eggs into the batter for good measure.

“Stupid piece of shit!” he shouted, kicking the oven door. The singer jumped at the loud banging. “There we go!”

The kitchen was a complete tip, as usual, though the mess from the batter added a new layer of grime. It was just a boxed cake mix, all they had to do was add eggs, water, and cook it. So far so good.

“Ok D, pour that in the pan and we’ll pop it in the oven, easy as pie!” Murdoc said, adjusting the temperature.

“Or as easy as cake!” the singer added, doing as he was told. The batter looked a little lumpy, but that wasn’t a big deal, right? He gave it to Murdoc, who set it on the middle rack and.

Murdoc looked around the kitchen and at the other. The younger man was covered in batter and cake mix powder. 2D had a little bit on his nose, right at the tip, and the bassist reached up to wipe it off.

“You’re a mess, Stu,” he laughed, wiping the batter off on the other’s shirt.

“Hey! That’s not fair, I did all the hard work!” 2D frowned, then got a sly look on his face. Before Murdoc could ask what he was doing, the singer wrapped the bassist up in a big hug, effectively getting him covered in the goop as well.

“What the--!” he shouted, trying and failing to wiggle out of the taller man’s grasp. It was no use, and Murdoc was about to give 2D a shove or punch to get loose when he noticed a can of whip cream on the counter. They were supposed to use it on top of the cake, but...

“Hah!” the bassist exclaimed, grabbing the can and directing the nozzle straight at the singer’s face. 2D sputtered and let go of the other man in surprise. Murdoc continued holding down the nozzle, getting whipped cream all over the floor and everything else within reach.

“That’s not fair!” 2D whined, holding his hands up to keep the confection from getting in his eyes. Murdoc wasn’t showing any sign of stopping, so he looked around for a weapon of his own. His eyes landed on a bowl of sprinkles and he took action.

From that point on, it was war. Both men threw cake decorations and anything else they could find at each other, laughing the entire time. At one point they were huddling on either side of the kitchen island, tossing fistfuls of sprinkles like grenades. 2D was at a disadvantage, being too tall to get behind the island fully, and he was quickly running out of ammo. He only had one other option, and in a flash he darted around the counter, charging the bassist with a handful of whipped cream.

He took three long strides up to Murdoc, hand outstretched and ready to smack and cream right in his face. Unfortunately, the floor was slippery with dessert, and he started sliding. Murdoc could only watch on as the singer slid into him, knocking them both to the floor, 2D on top.

“Bloody fucking Hell!” Murdoc swore, trying to sit up but slipping back in the mess. Stu fared just as poorly, his legs splayed out at awkward angles.

“Ouch…” he whined, twisting this way and that, trying to disentangle himself from the bassist. It was no use, and in fact, every time he tried to get up he made things worse, pressing their bodies closer and closer together.

“Stop wiggling you bloody idiot!” Murdoc snapped. The singer didn’t listen, and the bassist began to lose his patience, each movement brushing their hips together in the most delicious way. “2D stop moving!”

“But Murdoc--!” the younger man cried. He was sticky and sore and something was poking into his belly that made him really uncomfortable. He wanted to get up and take a long, hot shower.

Satan, the singer didn’t even know what he was doing, did he? Murdoc bit back a moan, feeling himself harden against the pressure over his crotch. Finally, when he could take it no longer, the bassist sat up, taking 2D with him. The younger man yelped as he was manhandled into the Satanist’s lap, their faces inches apart.

“Lemme up Murdoc!” He was squirming again, and the bassist let out a low growl at the feeling. That was enough to make the singer stop and glance down at where their bodies pressed together. “O-Oh…”

“Yeah, oh,” Murdoc mocked, brushing his hands along the singer’s sides. “You’re in trouble now, Dents.” The way he said it sent shivers down the singer’s spine. You could never tell with Murdoc.

“I-I’m sorry!” he whined, arching his back a little and pouting. The bulge in the bassist’s pants was more obvious now, how had he not noticed before? The thought of a little mid-afternoon friskiness wasn’t exactly unpleasant, especially with the hungry look on Murdoc’s face.

Murdoc growled, taking the younger mans hips in his hands and making him sit still. 2D continued to pout and wiggle enticingly, knowing how it turned the bassist on when he did. Murdoc’s grip tightened further, nearly to the point of pain, but 2D loved it.

“Mmm, you’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you Dents? Gotten yourself all messy,” Murdoc said, leaning forward to lick a spot of whipped cream off the other’s cheek.

“Don’t tease!” Stu said, arching into his touch. The bassist chuckled darkly, grinding his hips against the singer’s in slow, small circles. “You’re the one who sprayed the whipped cream all over the place.”

“Don’t sass me, Bluebird,” the older man warned. Stu huffed but was quickly silenced by the feeling of sharp teeth against his neck. Murdoc began to lick and bite at the pale skin there, leaving purpling marks everywhere he went. “Delicious.”

“D’you always get off on baking?” Stuart laughed breathily, tilting his head to give the bassist better access. He tried to speak evenly, but Murdoc's teeth against his skin made his voice shake and wobble.

“Only when I'm doin’ it with pretty, blue-haired morons,” Murdoc answered. His hands began to wander from the singer's hips to other places, pinching and rubbing all of 2Ds most sensitive spots. “You tastes good.”

“S'cause I'm covered in cake stuff!” Murdoc was a mess as well, and the singer wondered what cream and sprinkles would taste like off his skin. The bassist didn’t bother replying, too busy with the other man’s belt and fly. Within seconds he was shoving a hand past Stu’s trousers and pants, feeling the heat and slickness inside.

“Murdoc!” 2D wailed, thrashing around the Satanist’s lap. He knew first hand how good Murdoc could be with his fingers.

“Ah, that’s pretty mate,” the bassist praised, gently taking the other’s clit between his fingers and rubbing. Stu whined highly, his grip on Murdoc’s shoulders tightening to be almost painful. It wasn’t long before they were both moaning into each other's mouths.

“Murdoc, you gotta--” the bassist cut him off by pushing him off his lap and onto the floor. Stu was seconds away from telling the older man off when he noticed that Murdoc was actually scooting back to take off his own trousers and pants. He got the hint then and quickly kicked his the rest of the way, then shucked his shirt. He left the binder on, but he knew Murdoc wouldn’t mind. This wasn’t the first time they’d slept together.

As soon as Murdoc was naked he was back on the singer, pushing him to lay down on the cold, sticky tile floor. He crawled overtop of the younger, leering down at his body. His hungry stare gave Stu an idea, and he reached out a hand, grabbing one of the discarded cans of whipped cream.

The singer angled the nozzle towards himself and sprayed a line of cream from his belly to right above his cunt. The bassist’s eyes lit up immediately, and he leaned down to lap at the delicious treat. His long tongue wriggled over Stu’s hip bones and into his belly button, making sure not to miss a single spot. The singer writhed and arched, beginning to regret spraying so much.

“P-please jus’...” he trailed off, bucking his hips up to get his point across. Murdoc ignored him, now sucking and biting at the sensitive flesh of the singer’s belly. “M-Murdoc! I-I want more!”

“More of what?” the bassist asked, skipping over 2D’s core to kiss and bite at his thighs. The singer whined and reached down, tangling his fingers in Murdoc’s hair and practically forcing him to press his face into his pussy.

“Fine, fine. Needy one aren’t you?” the bassist said, rolling his eyes but also finally, finally, prodding his tongue between Stu’s folds. Murdoc knew what he was doing, tonguing the singer’s clit and thrusting two fingers inside him. 2D’s grip on the other man’s hair was brutal, but Murdoc didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it seemed to spur him on, eating the other out with gusto and lots of sloppy wet sounds.

The singer made his gratitude known with lots of vocals. Each thrust of Murdoc’s fingers or swipe of his tongue would be met with a loud cry from Stu. He couldn’t even feel the sticky sprinkle covered floor below him, couldn’t smell the cake baking. Everything was a pinpoint, narrowed in on the feeling of his throbbing cunt being masterfully eaten out.

“I-I’m -g-gonna--” Everything was tensing and rising up up up until he crested over the peak and came in a gush against Murdoc’s face. The bassist watched him as he came, working him through it until he lay flat against the bed, twitching from overstimulation.

As he came down, Stu threw an arm over his eyes, groaning softly. His whole body felt like rubber stretched just a bit too far. A nap sounded really good right about then, but he could feel Murdoc moving around in front of him and knew they weren’t done yet.

The bassist was sitting back on his knees watching 2D, a can of whipped cream in one hand, the other wrapped around his own cock. He smirked as he shook the can and sprayed a little whip topping onto his dick, still watching the singer the entire time.

“Come’on Dents, time for you to have a taste,” he said, tossing the can aside. Stu had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Even though it was kind of ridiculous, he sat up and scooted forward so he was eye level with Murdoc’s prick.

“That’s it, good boy,” Murdoc praised as 2D licked the confection off with slow, careful laps. The singer really did enjoy sucking the other man off, but he was so boneless and tired after his orgasm he couldn’t quite bring himself to be as enthusiastic as usual. Luckily that didn’t seem to be a problem for Murdoc; the bassist was moaning and grunting with each lick, his breath hitching when Stu finally took him in his mouth.

“Mmm, take it darlin’,” he murmured, cradling the younger’s head in both hands. “You gonna let me fuck your face?”

He nodded a little, letting his jaw go even more slack. Murdoc groaned and began thrusting into his mouth. He was surprisingly courteous, not gagging the singer or pulling his hair too hard. Stu rewarded him by wiggling his tongue against his slit and moaning. That made the bassist’s eyes roll back. 2D had to suppress a smirk at the sight.

“Oh, yes, yes that’s good, Bluebird,” Murdoc praised as his thrusts got faster and more erratic. “You’re gonna make me cum, Stu, oh shit--!

Murdoc came with a grunt, holding the singer’s head tightly against his hips. Stu did his best to swallow everything, but a little bit dribbled out onto his chin, mixing with the whipped topping from before. Eventually, Murdoc relaxed and pulled his softening cock from 2D’s lips with a satisfied sigh. 2D brought an arm up to wipe his face, coughing slightly but still smiling.

“Good show, Stu,” Murdoc said, straightening up and stretching. 2D was going to say something back, something sexy or maybe sweet but he was cut off by the shrieking blare of an alarm.

“What the--?” he screamed, hands flying up as he scrambled back towards the cupboards. Murdoc didn’t startle as easy, and he immediately seemed to understand what had happened.

“Tha cake! You bloody idiot, you forgot about the cake!” he shouted at the singer. 2D covered his face with his hands, whimpering.

“Y-you were the one handlin’ the oven!” he said quietly as the bassist fussed around the cooker. Murdoc didn’t hear him, luckily, too busy pulling out the blacked husk of what could have been a birthday cake. He set it gently on the counter, still naked. Stu watched the smoke rise from the pan and looked around the ruined kitchen.

“Russel’s gonna kill us…”

“Shut up, Faceache.”

[thnxrick]

❍ ─ hey dudes !! i feel pretty hype to be here. i’ve been rewatching gg for the past three weeks and pretty much neglecting my creative side/avoiding all of my writing friends. i was rping in another fandom on discord and i just started to lose inspo, y’know that flame was starting to blow out. on a whim i decided to check out the rp tag on tumblr again ( i haven’t rped on tumblr since 2016 btw ), and whaddya know, the second post i see is from a gossip girl rp. ─ could’ve been a coincidence, could’ve been a sign ?? idk. point is that i’m here !! and i’m really hoping to fall in love w/ writing again. 

ok, lemme introduce you to a boi i made up 48hrs ago.

A LITTLE MORE OOC

// so um, FUNNY STORY, when i joined i was planning to fill up a connection from another roleplayer here as their brother, but they were gone as soon as i was i accepted looooool. so now i lack a sibling and i took their last name. ah well, gotta make due with what you’ve got i guess. 

// that being the case, it sort of inspired me to make a VERY convoluted family tree for him. i’ll touch some bases, but i’ll probably make other posts getting more into it i suppose. 

// just to be clear, i’m going to keep it canon that he has a sister named olivia, i was straight up coming up with a lot of relationship HC’s before approaching the mun, and some where based around that character’s profession. i like what i came up with so i’m planning to keep it that way.

// let’s just say olivia isn’t on gossip girl’s radar. ─like a jenny humphrey from season one lmao. 

THE SKELETON 

.･:*:･ﾟ’ twenty one, cismale, roderick bordeaux was made in the upper east side and attended st. jude’s. he still resides in new york, and is currently a model who progressively grown weary of his profession. they are staying up til’ 4am laughing at memes, mischievous looks, suggestive stature, eccentric humor, silk tuxedos. onlookers say they resemble shawn mendes. ( al, 19, idc, cst. )

FROM THE BEGINNING 

roderick grew up with two older siblings and two very wealthy parents. 

his family is very popular in the social scene of manhattan, we’re talking generations on both sides of their family.

they’ve always kept up appearances and have made bountiful donations to noble and not so noble causes.

his father ( lawrence ) is exemplary businessman and his mother ( keighley ) is a retired actress who’s found her life as a socialite a “profession” on its own.  

his relationship with his parents had its moments of toxicity and neglect but overall he’s never been resentful towards them as he realized the privileged life they handed to him and his siblings. 

rick has always had a penchant for doing stupid things and getting away with it. he gets bored easily !!  but to be clear his intentions are usually positive. his parents barely know of his ventures, they’re not very interested in GG to keep up with it either. he is the youngest─ he gets off the hook a little easier than his siblings do. you bet your ass they envy that.

he’s always been academically inclined, but school was never really his priority. he spent most of his time at constance with his friends. he’s a social butterfly at heart, and he wasn’t one to stick to cliques. basically getting along with almost anyone. always open to making more connections with people. doesn’t mean he lacked his fair share of enemies. 

up until then he was unaware of any other type of life. party, fun, drama and the occasional responsibility. things took a bit of a turn after high school though.

BEFORE THE FALL

first of all, his ex-girlfriend’s-mother married into his family. holidays already came with the uncomfortable “greeting family you haven’t seen for months to years on end” how the hell are you supposed go about it─ “oh hey we’ve rubbed genitals together, we’ve hated each other for a while and now we’re cousins, want a turkey leg” ??

second, his father wanted college, roderick didn’t, but obliged after his father threatened to freeze his accounts.

for three years, he attended harvard, likely due to his parents connections i might add─ he almost claimed the title of a lit major, but in retribution for a new revelation about his parents, he quit.   

WHAT GG DOESN’T KNOW....YET

in his third year of college rick picked up a course in theater, dance and media, partially due to the crush he had on another student. during his attendance he met a classmate who he quickly befriended. one evening she invited him to her birthday party, and to say it changed his world would be an understatement.

after spending more time with her and her family, he felt strangely attached to them, he desired the type of relationship she had with her parents. and soon enough the universe offered him a truth that could make that a reality.

turns out his parents weren’t really his parents. rick was involved in a tangled plan filled with lies and deception. ─his close friend from college ?? was his sister.

this was a lot to take in for rick, he had an entire genealogy that he didn't know about, and they were seemingly everything he wanted in a family. of course this was conflicting. he loved the people he grew up with unconditionally, but his loyalty wavered the more the truth was uncovered.

A GENERATIONAL FEUD 

 his “parents” didn’t even want him, they were blackmailed by his biological grandmother ( thalia ) to keep him away from his biological parents. his grandmother disapproved of his biological father ( lloyd ) and wanted nothing to do with him or his family. 

her distaste was unwarranted however, completely biased. her issues were purely against his mother ( harlow ). they have toxic history together, and share a hatred for each other. so much so that they put aside their disagreements to work together. there was no way in hell harlow would share her surname and it’s perks with thalia’s offspring. and thalia wasn’t planning to have a familial tie with harlow.

harlow promised to take away lloyd’s life of luxury if he married rick’s mother ( rowan ). 

thalia called for some favors owed, and successfully managed to manipulate rowan and set her grandson up for “adoption”.

unfortunately for the high class devil’s their game only played out for a few months, lloyd and rowan loved each other too much to let go. the loss of a child and the loss of luxury wasn’t enough to keep them apart. 

they eloped against their parents wishes, and lost everything. by their early twenties, they were no longer royalty of manhattan, they were “nobody’s”. practically disowned. if it meant they cut ties with their sadistic families, it was fine by them.

rick’s biological parents searched for him, for years, they almost divorced as a ploy to get information from their parents, but it lead them to more questions than answers. it was eventually a mutual decision to end their search, the pain was too overwhelming to continue.

call it fate, who would’ve thought the search would end with academic career and their daughter. 

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

understandably, rick was extremely upset with his “parents” and ultimately detached himself from them. 

he quit school, and disconnected himself from most of his friends for a while. it was necessary to go over his options alone. and soon enough he planned an intervention. in four months time, he planned to expose his parents in public at an uptown charity event honoring them. 

he told four of his closest friends about his strategy requesting for a helping hand, and they willingly accommodated him. 

all except for one. one of the four ratted him out before he could pull it off. and his “grandmother” ( genevieve ) was informed and immediately warned thalia and harlow of the proposition. 

they took matters into their own hands, and made things very personal. suddenly grandma genevieve wasn’t as sweet as she had been.

rick’s ex-girlfriend-now-cousin was instructed to seduce and drug him in his loft, if she failed to follow through, her mother would suffer the consequences. 

with much hesitation she compelled. and on an odd night out she convinced him to catch up, and eventually got him drunk enough to have him pass out on his couch. she called their grandmother right after and waited 10 to 15 minutes for a sign to leave. there were a few stern knocks on the door by two men in very posh tuxedos, she was conclusively excused by their entrance. 

THE SECRET GOSSIP GIRL KNOWS

his cousin-ex-lover left his loft around booty call hour. lacking a walk of shame... but stamped with a very guilty face.

off schedule─ his housekeeper arrived to his loft a bit earlier than usual, having much to do that day. her extended family was coming in from out of town for a familial celebration. and we all know how important family is, don’t we?

she suspected rick was working early as well, and went down the list of her duties. her first priority was his restroom, as he generally left wet towels on the ground after his morning showers. however the only elements she found were scattered pills and emptied bottles on his bathroom floor, along with rick... in a bathtub filled with water looking a little too pale.

with a disheveled 911 phone call, she preformed crucial CPR, and an ambulance shortly arrived─ rick was sent to the hospital to have his stomach pumped, and the bordeaux’s made a private entrance, feeling troubled with emotions of guilt and regret. 

in recovery rick denies the suicidal accusations but was sequentially sent to a rehabilitation center against his will. 

he spent his summer in connecticut, and his family lied to keep press away from their charity event. to what the public knows, rick pursued his modeling career further and traveled through europe for the summer. 

AT A CROSSROADS

all forms of communication were taken away from rick, and he spent most of his time at rehab trying to reach out by bribing his nurses.

one of his nurses fell into his bribe and let him make contact with his cousin. out of fear she confessed and delivered his SOS to their grandmother.

sooner or later, his grandma showed up─ grandma.. thalia. to most and to gossip girl? a stranger. 

she proposed a settlement with roderick, he was to forget about his biological family and continue mingling in his social circle as if nothing ever happened for exchange of his freedom and his family’s freedom.

he begrudgingly agreed to it, and flew back to new york with built up resentment and a thirst for retaliation.

he’s back home now, as if nothing ever happened. last he heard his biological family tried to invite him to their halloween feast. but no word after that.

as of now, his course of action is to figure out what “bestie” ratted him out. what did thalia, harlow or even genevieve have on them. and what could he do about it ??

if all attempts fail, we still have gossip girl.

LMAO MORE OOC

ok ok ok ok ok, ik it’s a lot of shit to read. i’m sorry but not really, i enjoyed myself waaaay too much to truly feel guilty about it. SO idk if you’ve noticed but, i took a lotta of inspiration from the show since i just finished the series again. ─i figured rick is a dumbass but he doesn't lack that much morality to do something awful without warrant. I’LL BE SHOOK IF YOU REALLY READ THROUGH ALL OF THIS BUT HEY IF YOU WANNA PLOT W/ ME PLEASE DO. i have a connections page that has to do with normal connections and it also has connections related to everything you’ve read here !!  feel free to im/dm me at anytime, or like this so ik you’re interested in plotting w/ me, i don’t mind hitting you up. OKAY, MUCH LOVE EVERYONE. 

[ao3feed-snape]

Unfinished works that I might revisit someday

read it on AO3 at http://bit.ly/2UAaKJJ

by appunJuice

Dumping all of my unfinished works here because I put effort into them and at least want people to see them, yeah. There's a chance I might revisit them and finish them, but for now they're unfinished for the foreseeable future.

Do keep in mind, UNFINISHED WORKS.

Words: 954, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter

Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter

Additional Tags: Weddings, Time Travel, Pre-Hogwarts, ummm - Freeform, idk what else to tag, ok so these are HELLA unfinished lemme tell u, im still recovering from my writing scars, but i have whole key scenes and most of the plot for these stories planned out, i probs dk how to finish it, lost interest in writing it but still KINDA wanna write it, or im a bit too busy rn and just got lost on how to write again, so pls have mercy on me, more tags to be added as i add more stories, i looked through it a bit but there might still be some mistakes here and there

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2UAaKJJ

[guardiandae]

tl;dr version: i hate to ask but... if we are mutuals, I would be grateful if you tag posts that have blood or gore (even Genos robogore) with ‘blood’ for my blacklist :’) thanks :’)

nobody did anything so don’t feel like this is @ someone or even the fandom. today I just had an incident and it reminded me like... ok this is still a bad issue for me and I should probs keep protecting myself. 

explanation:

fun fact about me: I am really squeamish (for lack of better word) about blood, gore, injuries, etc. I have ‘blood’ blacklisted and i’ve been fine for a while to the point where I feel silly about it.  but today in the car with my friend she was talking about her childbirth experience, in detail. probably like a ten minute conversation. and the funny thing is, I was uncomfortable, but not enough to ask her to stop talking because that felt rude, but after she was done talking, it started hitting me really badly over the next 1-2 minutes, to the point where she noticed and asked me if I was okay, and I had to admit that I absolutely was not. I told her that I legitimately wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up or pass out and it took several minutes for it to go away. usually I can just keep my discomfort to myself and hide it until it stops, but this was the worst reaction I’ve had yet. she told me next time to tell her and as dumb as i think it is for me to have this problem, I guess it’s dumber not to ask...

that was the worst I’ve ever felt, but it just reminded me that I’m not over my issue and need to keep protecting myself. it’s kind of random when and how badly is affects me (depends on how much I have to think about it) and I still think it’s dumb but it is a truly miserable feeling when it affects me. I’ve had fanart of something as innocuous as a nosebleed randomly set me off.

I also get somewhat affect by the robot gore that people love for Genos, although to a lesser extent, bc he gets damaged a lot and that’s ok and it’s easier to mentally distance myself... SOMETIMES. He’s still a person to me so it can be upsetting to see him ripped apart depending on the context, which is suuper subjective. but something like wireplay, on the other hand, I can’t handle 80% of the time for this reason. at best I’m like, ‘oh nice artwork - do not think about it!’ hence why reblogs are rare for me. (I just queued a wrecked Genos tho, and this reminded me of the fact that I should... make a post.)

-blood, gore, medical topics (biology, surgery), injuries, wireplay, robogore, etc, is all kind of stuff that I try to avoid, or interact with very tentatively.

if I end up getting set off, I basically get pre-syncope (which is like... everything except for actually fainting)

basics:

-my wrists get incredibly sensitive, I want to protect them but also cannot really touch them because it’s Too Much. ditto for ankles, feet and behind the knee, all the tender spots. -hands become weak, harder to function and hold objects -lightheadedness, “feeling faint” -just an overall horrible awful feeling

extreme:

-same sensitivity to wrists/limbs/tender spots. I don’t want to touch anything but also I can’t not touch. Try to curl into self or have to actually lie down if possible. -my hands lose their strength completely, can’t hold things like a pencil for instance, and have a very hard time even typing (also hard bc i dont want to touch) -horrible feeling and lightheaded but more intense -nausea -heavy breathing -entire body overheats, apparently (new experience for me)

even the “basic” symptoms take several minutes to stop and it just sucks and feels horrible but I don’t usually mention it. the extreme I would love to avoid forever at all costs. it fuckin sucks.

btw if anyone has a better word than “squeamish” or even pre-syncope bc nobody knows what that means, lemme know or suggest it to me because this is an Issue but I always feel dumb going “oh I’m squeamish” because it sounds like I’m just a weenie, but I got no control over this. I wasn’t even mentally dwelling on what my friend was saying, and I thought I was all good bc she’d stopped talking but it was like a delayed effect that took it from "I am uncomfortable” to “I am going to die” real fast.

anyway, I ramble. but yeah. just ‘blood’ is fine or maybe lemme know if you think of another tag I should blacklist. I feel weird asking. but at the same time if anyone wants me to add a tag to my stuff lemme know! I reblogged wrecked Genos like i said and felt weirdly hypocritical so I tagged it “body horror” and sometimes I also use “gore” or “blood” as appropriate but it probably isn’t consistent and uh, I should do better.

[goldenscript]

here's your chance to spread some love! tag your top ten mutuals and name a few things you adore about them! 💓✨

here’s your chance to spread some love! tag your top five mutuals and name a few things you adore about them! 💓✨

better late than never to do this amirite?? ehe, well i’m in a pretty soft mood today - my mental state’s on the fritz but what’s new?? might as well just do something kind since i’ve been contemplative a lot lately! 

@jungnoir: hi my virgo bb who also loves to cause me grief, lemme just say that you’re honestly one of the sweetest and funniest girls i know, whether that’s in your fics or in chat. your writing style is so refreshingly your own and i know you wish you received more recognition for it (and i definitely do too) so just know that no matter what you’ll always hear screeching from me!!!

@yongceo: min bean! you’re always so kind and caring towards me. you have a1 posts and your love for woo is astronomical. thank you for always being your soft, kind self to me because that always helps get me through my day! 

@wonhopes: lmao THERE ARE MANY THINGS I’D SAY ABT YOU (and ofc they’re all good ‘cuz petty and salty as i am, ily a lot but you didn’t hear that from me). i adore how funny you are, girl. whenever you have something new to tell me i’m literally ready to bust out into laughter bc you’re so unabashed and unbothered and i fucking love it ok. keep loving ass and get that good d. 

@workofteaguk: TRACI

@taechubs: GRANNY!

@tendershepherd / @ralph-mountainlodge: my writing fairy godmother! a helpful and wonderful gal who is super kind and wonderful to chat with whether it’s about stories or just life in general (even if life is kinda meh rn). the point is you’re a very down to earth chickadee and i think anyone should bless themselves and read your stuff and chat with ya!!!!

@bodybcg / @trcgger: i can’t believe i haven’t mentioned you before! we talk quite often and you’re just an absolute sweet pea and i always enjoy talking to you and scrolling through your blog for the tags. i’m really glad we started talking and i hope we continue to do so!

@gukyi: bb! ok can i just say that you are so sweet and kind and a real trip? i love how easily and casually we can talk with one another! and i also love your stories! (don’t worry i’m slowly reading more and more ok!) i especially love your response to your most recent story (the fiye sequel) bc i think it’s so inspirational that you drew real life elements and conceptualized it into a story without losing that real life essence. when i read that i was completely starstruck so kudos

@guktwt: MARA BB!!!!! i’m sorry i still haven’t read the second part to your jk fic but i promise i will soon! i just wanted to say that your aesthetic is adorable, your writing is fantastic, and you are a grade A cutie!! good luck in school and ily

@1honeypot: we don’t talk but that’s ok!!! i just wanted to say that i completely adore your aesthetic and your personality. even though it’s the internet and posts  can only express so much of who we are, i always feel like i see yours pushing through. you’re really funny and you have great ass taste in dudes i.e park jimin (yes plz) & ming^2 from svt like dude i think we’d be fantastic friends but i’m too damn shy sometimes kjdshfsjdkh anyway anyway, everything about you is super great and keep strong!!!!! 

i’ll add on an additional five bc why tf not! 

@hyungjooki: you’re always so upfront and kind and i love that about you, lei. i appreciate that you don’t beat around the bush and that we can talk so easily together! i love that you’re a multifandom blog also ‘cuz that is the mf struggle hands down! 

@jinkimon: fari!!!!!!!! your fics are divine and you are as sweet as caramel i swear! i hope everyone else gives what you write a read bc it is pure gold especially with you and you’re girl group activism ok bc they deserve all the credit and acknowledge in the world.

@choco-seventeen: choco! your blog is literally the flippin’ cutest and your writing is so pretty. whenever i need svt inspo, i truly do look to you and i sincerely thank you for always being so kind to your followers!

@inktae: we don’t talk as much though i hope that changes soon! i  just wanted to say that you’re a very kind person that i often find myself striving to be like, both in just everyday life and in writing. you’re truly a gift, mari

@jiminniemouse: your blog is on point, girl. your aesthetic, your jikook lovin’ posts + monsta x + nct (like hell yeah, multifandom life!!), and your writing! honestly i remember reading your stuff a whole summer ago and getting dragged even deeper into the bts fandom. thank you, seriously! it’s still nuts to me that i’m mutuals with you and amanda when i used to stay up late at night reading all those glorious stories.

[ao3feed-jily]

Unfinished works that I might revisit someday

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2UAaKJJ

by appunJuice

Dumping all of my unfinished works here because I put effort into them and at least want people to see them, yeah. There's a chance I might revisit them and finish them, but for now they're unfinished for the foreseeable future.

Do keep in mind, UNFINISHED WORKS.

Words: 954, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter

Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter

Additional Tags: Weddings, Time Travel, Pre-Hogwarts, ummm - Freeform, idk what else to tag, ok so these are HELLA unfinished lemme tell u, im still recovering from my writing scars, but i have whole key scenes and most of the plot for these stories planned out, i probs dk how to finish it, lost interest in writing it but still KINDA wanna write it, or im a bit too busy rn and just got lost on how to write again, so pls have mercy on me, more tags to be added as i add more stories, i looked through it a bit but there might still be some mistakes here and there

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2UAaKJJ

[maximumkillshotstillwritess-blog]

I Will Never Deserve

Warnings: some descriptive language, cursing, fluffy Dean, angry Dean, whole bunch of Dean feels really, insecure reader

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Reader x Dean, Sam

A/N: Ok so I kid you not this happened to me. I have been interested in a guy for a while (relationship wise). We haven’t talked in forever and then a few months later, he starts to conversate with me and basically asks me to be in a threesome…. with himself and his girlfriend…I DIDN’T DO IT! I altered parts of the conversation that I put in. So this fic is a bit of what I wish someone would have said to me… of the Dean variety.

(all the way up to the read moire line is the basic summation of what happened)

“Y/N your phone went off”, yelled Dean as I was in the kitchen.

“Who’s it from?” I asked, usually nothing too risque comes through my messenger, except for Derick, but I haven’t talked to him in months. Not since he got that girlfriend after I laid all of my feelings out on the line, and all he did was never answer. Then to add the cherry on top, he started dating her five days after my birthday.

Originally posted by jordanwinchesterimagines

“’Well look at that, there’s an old face’ Ahh shit Y/N it’s that guy Derick again, want me to tell him to fuck off?” Asked Dean as he sauntered into the room with my phone. Dean knew all about Derick… I spent many nights in his room just crying, trying to figure out what it was about me that said that I wasn’t enough. He would hold me as I quaked with tears filling my eyes. Sometimes he’d even let me sleep in his bed. He’d hold me through those long nights of racking my brain and talk me through all of the doubt. Dean, in a way, made me whole again over these few months, helped me keep my head up high and focused. Now that I think about it, Dean is literally my rock, that person I can cry to and laugh with.

“No I got it” I said, truth is I had a drink and I don’t mind the conversation. I replied with a happy face and typed in “hey it’s been too long”

Then he replied with “yeah it has lol”

After asking him what’s up he said that he was just looking for conversation.

After a bit of banter back and forth the past conversations got mentioned… which were very steamy.

I texted him “Yeah they were steamy, but I’m respectful of relationships.”

He told me that it was all good and asked me if it was because of my conscious that I won’t have relations with him while he’s in a relationship….

After setting that straight he began to reveal his true motives to me.

Then I get the message “My girlfriend wants me to find a woman we can share, she likes girls as well and she wants to experiment”

Did he? Does he really think I’ll go for that? This is some bullshit. I said to myself. Why is he doing this to me, again? Like he can’t just leave me alone to take the “L”? I then told him that I’m straight and that I don’t work like that, plus I have really bad body image so I couldn’t see myself getting naked in front of him let alone somebody else and that I have a surgery. To which he countered with that I didn’t have to get naked and that the lights would be turned off.

After basically telling him no I can’t, he then said that it was a shame that he was going to drive to me. I basically told him that was nice of him and he laughed and so did I.

Internally I am currently fuming, hurt, and confused.

Dean, of course reads it in my face and says “what happened?”

I did nothing but hand him the phone and go to the library to pour a good four shots of whiskey into the tumbler…. yeah, that’ll be enough to forget him I think to myself.

Dean’s POV:

Oh god I know that face I think to myself. That adorable face that Y/N makes when she’s trying to hide something from me. But this time it’s different, it’s full of hurt and anger.

“What happened?” I blurt out. If this son of a bitch hurt her again… I will kill him.

She hands me her phone and then darts out of the door…

I start to scroll through the conversation and I can’t believe what I’m reading. This dude is delusional to think that she’d ever go for this. Especially after the way that he hurt her. Not talking to her for weeks and then starting a relationship with someone else… I guessed that he didn’t have the balls to be upfront with her about his feelings back then… but this, now …. this is torture.

She doesn’t deserve this shit… My god she deserves so much more. I’d give her the fucking world if I had a chance with her. Her heart has to be crushed. To be treated like this.

No…. she’s gotta know .

I make my way to the library to see her sitting with a tumbler of whiskey, it looks like she’s trying her hardest not to break… Not to fall apart after all of the progress she’s made. It’s killing me inside, just seeing her like this.

I sit right next to her and after a while she talks.

“What did I do to him? For him to torture me like this?” says Y/N, her eyes closed tightly, most likely so that I don’t see the redness and tears building up in them.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Princess” Is all I have to say. She didn’t do anything wrong, if anything she showed some major confidence in just telling him how she felt and he threw that all away.

She then chokes out “Then why is he doing this?”

“He’s doing this because he is a douche bag who doesn’t see you for who you really are and he’d rather be with someone as low as him, but he still wants the experience of being with someone as  genuine as you… Which frankly, he nor I will never deserve” I state as adamantly as I possibly can.

Then I realize… I said ‘I’…. SHIT.

Now there are tears going down her face “Why do you treat me so well?” she asks.

I can’t help but let everything go now. “I treat you so well because that is the only way that you deserve to be treated. You are kind, funny, infectious, hell your smile can get me through anything. My heart leaps when I’m around you. Waking up with you in my arms are still my best memories to this date. You are so strong, agile, you are so amazing, the only words that I can use to describe you are ‘Princess’, ‘Beautiful’, ‘Sweetheart’, and ‘Badass’. Why do you think that they’re your nicknames?”

I got her to smile… my god I miss that smile. I reach out to dry her tears and I say “They are your nicknames because you are the only woman that I’ve ever met, let alone ever had the pleasure of living with, that has all of those qualities. And seeing you like this because of a guy, not a man, a guy, it kills me.”

It seems like she’s getting her bearings now “Wait? why does it kill you?” she asks.

I ask her “Do you want the real answer or the bullshit answer?”

She then looks at me with those adorable y/e/c eyes and she says “The real answer”.

I replied with the only thing I know, which is the truth “It kills me because I love you. More than a friend, I love you more than anyone…”

She doesn’t looked shocked… she looks like she just had an epiphany.

I try to save the friendship by uttering “Look I get it that you’re hurt and you don’t have to say anyth-”

She cuts in with “I love you too”.

I can’t process what just happened so my mouth just hangs open and she continues.

“My god I’m such an idiot. You, you have been right in front of me all along. You are the only one that gets through my thick skull, that can put me back together, that can make sense to me when the rest of the world seems like one big shit show… It’s always been you… I’ve always loved you, Dean” she confesses.

Now is the first time that I’ve ever seen this in her. She has a glimmer in her eyes. It is the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen. Just as we are leaning in to kiss eachother Sammy decided to enter the room.

Sammy exclaims “AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE look at you two! It’s about damn time!!”

As we both pull back I say “How much did you hear?”

All Sammy replied with was “Enough to know that you two are finally getting together.”

“If you know that we’re finally getting together then you know how loud it’s gonna get tonight Sam” retorted Y/N.

“Just lemme charge my headphones please…” said Sam.

I chuckled, grabbed Y/N , and started to make my way to my room and yelled over my shoulder “It better be rapid charge because it’s about to get loud”.

Finally I heard her laugh.

Little did I know I’d be hearing that laugh many times that night… among other noises.

TAG ARMY: @mamaredd123 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining   @jotink78 @nichelle-my-belle @saxxxology @scorpiongirl1 @ilostmyshoe-79 @teamfreewillimagines @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid@chelsea072498 @brickwall035 @maui137 @mogaruke @jayankles @butiaintgonnaloveem​ @kawaiilivkitty @naviwhite @emoryhemsworth               @cole-winchester Wanna join the tag army? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

dean x reader

fluffy

SPN FANDOM

spn fanfic

SPN Family

seriously

why am i like this

dean saves me on a daily basis

27 notes

Sep 26th, 2017