#Probably will just stay home and draw. Or maybe I’ll do that tomorrow on the actual anniversary but celebrate today hmmmmm

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Burning Hearts Chapter 19

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC 

Summary: You’ve spent a year with Law and the Heart Pirates now. Law is still pressing to unlock the full capabilities of your devil fruit powers as a mythical loan type, but you’ve got other things on your mind. You’ve uncovered Law’s plan to kill Doflamingo, but you’ve resigned to stop him and accept the way things are meant to be. He needs you. Your heart lies half with Law, but half at home with the Straw Hats. 

+18 CONTENT! SMUT! MINORS BEGONE!

Taglist: @zoros-fourth-sword @cottoncandyloverrrr @airwolf92 @nothing-but-brass @tuskjohnny

WC: 4200 This should have been two chapters but idk I'm the author.

Burning Hearts Chapter 19: Finally

— — 

You couldn’t sleep that night. You had spent a year here with Law and his crew. How could you keep the secret that he was planning to abandon his own crew to take on Doflamingo alone? It was surely destined to fail… as strong as he was, you knew he was no match for the dangerous warlord. 

You tossed and turned until the sun rose and you threw the comforter off your body in defeat. You had to meet Law for training. You couldn’t let him know you knew about his plans… not yet. You didn’t know what to say. Do you try to convince him to stay? Do you tell the rest of the crew and have them join you in your efforts?

Law was so stubborn. He’s changed his mind less times than you could count on two hands. 

*knock knock*

You hopped out of bed and scurried to check the peephole in your door. It was Law. You suck in an anxious breath. 

You let him in. 

“Hi.” You say shyly as you close the door behind him. 

“Hi back.” He says with a slight smile. 

You try to return the smile but fail to look in his eyes. You backpedal a few feet and lean against the back of your bed. 

“So…. What’s up?” You ask as he stands awkwardly in your room. 

“I.. was wondering if you wanted to take the Tang out with me tomorrow night? Just us? Like… a date, maybe?” Law took a step towards you and placed a gentle, cold hand on your waist. 

“I… yeah sure.. should I pack anything?” You flinch involuntarily and he recoils his hand. You still haven’t made eye contact, keeping your eyes at Law’s chest level. 

“Probably just an overnight bag…” Law takes his free hand and tilts your chin up softly so you can meet his gaze. “You okay?” He asks. 

“Yeah, just didn’t sleep well.” You lie. “Makes me kind of jumpy, I guess.” You feign a laugh, obvious to both you and Law that it was artificial. 

“We don’t have to go out tomorrow, we can do it some other time-“

“No! It’s okay.” You respond quickly, not wanting to draw more attention to your distraction. “I have a bunch of work in the garden to get done. So I would have to skip training today in order to finish in time to go out tomorrow…” You couldn’t help but at least try to give yourself an out. You move over to your desk and start putting on your apron and grabbing your gardening tools. 

“That’s fine.… well I’m going to be gone tonight but I’ll have the snail if you need me. I’ll pick you up tomorrow when the sun’s down, I should be back by then.” Law tries to push past your skeptical tone. 

“Where are you going.” You state firmly, finally make eye contact with Law and you stop shuffling through your gardening gear. You straighten your back and look deep into his grey eyes. 

“I have a meeting.” Law swallows. “World government stuff.” Law’s eyes flick to the floor, to the east wall of your room, then back to your harsh gaze. 

“Hmm.” You huff. Should you bring it up now? What was even the point? He’d never abandon his plan for you, so you probably shouldn’t bother. He was trying to be sweet… ask you out for a late night submarine trip alone… but he was still lying to you. You could tell. 

Love had been clouding your judgement- no, lust? It wasn’t love. You barely knew him, you were realizing now. Lust had been blinding you to the fact that Law only cared about his own goal. A man that cared about you wouldn’t haul his ass to a foreign country to let himself get brutally murdered after abandoning his lover and his loyal crew… you knew that much. 

There was an uncomfortable silence. 

A dry, choking feeling crept up your throat. You couldn’t show him that you knew.. he couldn’t know that you were upset… not yet. You sniffed, swiped your face with your hand to fake an innocent runny nose. 

“Right well, see you tomorrow then. I have to get to work. Have fun at your meeting.” You usher Law out of your room and close the door behind the two of you. You start walking quickly down the hall with your gardening tools in your arms before he could notice the tears welling in your eyes. 

“Yeah. Tomorrow, then.” Law mumbles as you walk away. 

But unbeknownst to you, of course Law had seen the tears.

— —  

You toiled away all day in the garden. Winter was here but you still had potatoes and winter melons to tend to along with the hardy evergreen plants. You threw yourself into your work to take your mind off of Law. Things had been so good until you discovered his plans to invade Dressrosa and the finality of your ‘relationship’ had become so real in your mind. 

The outdoor plants were fed and happy so you retreated to the shed where your prized plants were kept warm against the elements with heat lamps and hydroponic irrigation (a complicated system that Penguin had helped you set up). 

You spend the next hour or so trimming your marijuana plants and didn’t notice the sun setting outside the frost covered greenhouse windows. You reach inside your jumpsuit pocket and retrieve your rolling papers. 

You sigh and slide down against the shed’s wooden wall in a damp corner of your makeshift greenhouse. You roll yourself a joint as carefully as possibly with shaking, anxious hands. 

With trembling hands, you placed the joint between your chapped lips and fished out your butane lighter. You looked down and ran your thumb over the lighter’s gold engravings, and smiled weakly remembering the thoughtful crew mate who had gifted it to you years ago now. 

You push down the pangs of remembrance and light the joint. You take a long drag and let your head fall back against the wall. 

You exhale and catch yourself letting out a sob. You bring your hand to cover your nose and mouth, trying to keep it all in. Tears stream down your cheeks and slip over your fingers like water in a creek after a heavy rain. 

The door creaked open. 

“Hey… D? Are you in here? People are eating dinner and wondering where you are…” Ikkaku’s voice comes from the doorway. 

*sniff*

Ikkaku scans the shed and finds you clutching your knees to your chest in the corner, obviously crying. 

“Oh, honey…” Ikkaku’s curly hair bounces behind her as she rushes over to you and squats down next to your huddled form. “What’s wrong?” She reaches out to push your grey streak of hair out of your eyes gently. 

“What the fuck am I doing?” You manage to choke out after removing your hand from your mouth. You lean into Ikkaku’s chest and sob harder. She pulls you close into her arms. 

“It’s okay… let it out…” 

Ikkaku lets you cry violently into her body for several minutes until she finally pulls you back and wipes snot from your nose with the off-white sleeve of her jumpsuit. 

“Now what did he do this time? I thought he was taking you out tomorrow night?” 

“I-I can’t go.. it’s too much.. I’m leaving soon….” You whisper between sniffles. 

“Soon? In a year?” She cocks her head and asks. 

You nod. 

“Baby that’s then, this is now. Love has never had a place in the New World. It’s the shitty nature of it all. You’re going to have to make a choice. Do you want to just be happy for a year and then miserable forever, or miserable forever starting now?” Ikkaku tries to dry your cheeks the best she can with one hand as she strokes your back with the other. 

You cry harder at the thought of making that choice. 

“Just go with him. If he’s asking you to go, it’s because he needs you.”

You look up through wet eyelashes at your friend and weakly nod. 

“T-thank you…” 

“Any time. Now finish up in here and I’ll bring dinner to your room. I don’t need all those nosy ass boys gossiping about why you’re upset.” 

— — 

The Next Day…

You leaned with your forehead against the steamy shower tile fore awhile. Ikkaku’s words rang in your ears. “Do you want to be happy for a year and then miserable forever, or miserable forever starting now?” 

All you wanted more than anything in the world was to give yourself fully to Law, body and mind… but you couldn’t stop that gnawing feeling in your gut about the heartbreak you’ll inevitably receive hearing about his death. You had to push it aside as much as you knew it would hurt one day. But Ikkaku was right, you would regret it for the rest of your life if you didn’t see how far this could go. 

With a sigh you finished shaving your legs and trimming everything else, washed off the remaining body wash and turned off the scalding water. Steam radiated off your damp skin as you stepped out of the shower stall. 

You dried off and applied your favorite vanilla cashmere lotion all over your freshly smooth skin. As apprehensive as you were… he did refer to it as a date after all…

You got dressed in something cozy, not wanting to doll up too much due to the cold, and packed a small bag of overnight essentials. You tossed in your hair brush, tooth brush, fresh underwear and leggings, and an ornate cigarette case full of rolled joints and your butane lighter. 

You wave bye to Ikkaku and Penguin on your way out, Ikkaku giving you a sympathetic, comforting smile. 

You push open the heavy metal door to the base and pull the hood of your sweatshirt up to keep the brisk air from nipping at your ears. You could easily fly to where Law asked you to meet him and be there in a quarter of the time, but for your mind was telling you to walk. You trudged through the frozen field to the dock and cleared your head with each fall of your boots. 

— — 

Eventually you made it to the dock where indeed the large yellow submarine was anchored and waiting for you. You flitted up to the top deck and let yourself in the door. You slinked through the metal corridors of the ship and ended up at the control room. 

You knock twice but open the door immediately, feeling anxious. 

Law was standing with his back to you the same clothes he was wearing when he left. He turned upon hearing you open the door. He drops his hands from the wheel of the ship and stepped towards you. 

“Hey..” He sighs out softly as he starts to smile tiredly. You see that the bags under his eyes were even darker than usual. He looked exhausted. Law lifted his arms weakly towards you. You instinctively throw yourself into his embrace. One hand wrapped around your torso tightly while the other immediately went to grip the back of your head to pull you closely into him. You could tell how much he really did need you right now. 

Oh gods! You were so selfish! All you were worried about was your own inevitable heartbreak that you didn’t even think about how taxing this whole thing would be on Law. Bringing up so much past trauma and so many bad memories compounded with the thoughts of his own mortality… you almost teared up at the idea of him struggling with his feelings alone. 

“Missed you…” Law mumbled into your neck after giving it a quick kiss and a nuzzle. 

“Gods… must have been some meeting… you look like shit…” You say softly, still caught in his tight embrace. Law chuckles. 

“You could have said something like ‘I missed you too.’”

“I know I could have. I said what I said.” You smiled as you pulled back so you could look at his tired face. You cup his cheek gently. “Let’s just get out of here.” 

— — 

You look curiously at the abyssal ocean out of the Tang’s front windows as Law had been piloting the ship for some minutes now. Occasionally you see a fish or eel skittering out of the way in the dim blue light coming from the submarine’s windows illuminating the surrounding water. 

“So where exactly are we going?” You asked without turning away from the bay windows. 

“Nowhere.” Law responds before you hear different knobs and switches being turned and flipped behind you. 

“I beg your finest pardon?” You ask as you turn towards Law and rise to your feet. 

Law steps toward you and brushes your hair over your ear before kissing you gently. 

“I’m tired of everything getting in the way. No one can bother us out here.” Law leans back in to kiss your lips more firmly this time. You put your hands on his chest. 

“So you’re planning on wooing me at the bottom of the ocean?” You cock your head. 

“At this point it seemed like the only option… that or maybe the moon…” Law leans in again but this time kisses your jaw and down your neck. You huff out a laugh.

“And who is going to be piloting the ship while you’re indisposed?” You ask.

“It’s on auto-pilot, obviously.” Law remarks as he runs his hand through your hair. 

“Okay okay lover boy, you need to go clean up and change first.” You pull yourself from his grasp.

Law rolled his eyes. “No no, come on, off you go.” You turn him by his shoulder and push him towards the door to the hallway. “I’ll wait in your room, I promise.” You smile softly as you both enter the ship’s main hall. You playfully push him off to the bathroom and you turn to your right and enter the captain’s quarters. 

The captain’s chambers on the tang were a mirror image to his bedroom at the base. A rough hewn wooden desk was surrounded by bookshelves along the walls, the surface of the desk messily covered in papers. On the opposite side of the bedroom was a queen sized bed fitted with navy sheets and a quilt, made with surgical poison. The only difference from Law’s room at the base was the large windows that allowed for a fine surveillance of the ocean floor on the starboard side of the ship. 

You slipped off your sweatshirt over your head and dropped it to the floor. In just your sports bra and leggings, you flop onto Law’s bed on your stomach and gaze at the sea life floating around the windows. You notice a family of seahorses in a row frolicking across the sea floor and smile. So cute the little ones were as they followed their father in a neat row… You rolled onto your back and grabbed your cigarette case out of your pocket. 

You curled your feet up onto the bed and lit a joint. You laid back fully on the bed and watched the fish swim past as you smoked. You had no idea how much time passed, but you were down to half your marijuana cigarette. The door to the bedroom swings open. 

“I had a feeling you’d be doing that.” Law comes in with jeans hung low on his wait and ruffles a white towel through his wet hair before throwing it towards his desk. 

“A submarine ride is far more enjoyable under the influence, I’ve learned.” You smile and sit up and cross your legs. 

Law smirks. “I can’t argue with that.” Law walks towards his desk. He pulls out a drawer and roots around for a moment before fishing out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He sets them on his desk and uncorks the whiskey. He pours two hefty glasses before bringing them over to you on his bed. He hands you one. 

“Is this technically sailing while under the influence?” You remark as you take the glass from Law’s outstretched hand. 

“I’ve violated several world government laws in the last few hours… I don’t think this one matters that much.” Law clinks his glass with yours. 

You outstretch your hand that contained the half joint. “A little? One puff?” You goad Law. 

“After what happened last time and I thought I had to switch my breathing from automatic to manual?” Law raises an eyebrow. 

“That was over 100 milligrams of straight herb, this is just a hit. I promise you’ll be fine.” You gesture the lit joint towards Law again. 

Law rolls his eyes and takes the joint form your soft fingertips. He inhales and passes it back to you.

“Wow, if you could see yourself a year ago…” You chuckle. Law exhales a large cloud of smoke and takes a swig of his whiskey. 

“Shut up.” 

“Make me.” You playfully retort and take a sip of your drink. It burns your throat but it helps you push the feelings of anxiety aside. For tonight it would just be you and Law. 

Silence goes by again and you snuff out the joint. 

“Daisy… I need to tell you something…” Law says as he turns his body fully towards you, his eyes still on the rocks glass in his hand. 

“Oh?” You inquire… knowing he’s going to tell you of his plan to kill Doflamingo and you were going to have to act surprised, how the hell were you supposed to-

“I love you.” 

The world stopped. You pick up your head and look at Law in the eye, suddenly incredibly sober. What did he say?

“W-what-“ You manage to get out, but it sounded more like a cough. 

“I love you, Daisy. I-I don’t know how else to tell you how I feel I just.. you don’t have to say anything back, I just-“ Law stutters out after seeing your shocked expression. He shuffles closer to you on the bed and places his hand on your cheek. You weren’t even remotely prepared to hear that phrase from Law’s lips… shit, anyone’s lips, as long as you were alive. He was being foolish… he couldn’t possibly mean it..

“Love me enough to stay away from Dressrosa?” You spit out without thinking. 

Law’s tender hand recoils from your face. 

“W-wha-“ 

You grab his hand and return it to your cheek. 

“I know I can’t convince you to stay… I just want you to stop hiding it from me…” You say as you nuzzle your blush-tinted nose into the warlord’s cold palm. 

“Y-you know…” Law whispers.

“I do. I don’t want to talk about it right now. We have a long time, don’t we?” You smile and press a kiss against Law’s lips. 

“W-we do… Daisy I… I do love you… I don’t know what else to say… I’m sorry…” Law says as he presses his forehead against yours and paws at your hips. You could almost swear you saw a wet twinkling in his eyes. 

“I love you too, Law.” You say softly up at him, unsure of the words even as they left your lips… but they felt so natural. It felt foreign. You bring your fingertips up to your lips to try and even believe that you said it out loud.

You lay back against the pillows and pull Law on top of you with your arms around his shoulders. “I want you, Law.” 

Law flops a bit clumsily on top of you. 

“A-are you sure?” He asks. 

“Yes.” You say confidently. “Please make love to me.” You grasp his hat and toss if off to the side of the bed before pulling him into a searing kiss. Law returns the kiss by slipping his hot tongue into your eager mouth and letting your head fall fully against the pillow behind you. 

Law kisses down your jaw as he pushes his hands under your torso to remove your bra. Once discarded, he pulls down your leggings and leaves them on the floor with the rest of your clothes, leaving you fully exposed. 

Law leans back and sucks in a breath as he sees your naked form before him. He freezes in place. 

“And you?” You chide as you pull at the button of his jeans. 

Law snaps out of his trance. 

“R-right.” Law undoes his pants and pulls them down swiftly along with his briefs so that you could both finally see each other bare. He approaches you again on the bed and strokes your thigh, not looking you in the eyes. 

“Wow…” You couldn’t help but remark. 

“I-it’s alright?” Law asks nervously. 

“It’s more than alright.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as Law’s impressively large member bobbed eagerly in front of you. You swallowed at the thought of that fitting inside of you… not having anything bigger than a single finger for several years. “I-I just might need a little help…” You smile and grab at Law’s wrist. You bring his trembling hand to your sex, encouraging him to touch you further. 

“Right… of course…” Law returns to his analytical self as he begins to stroke up and down your naked slit with two fingers, warming you up to his intimate touch. You shudder a bit at his cold hands, but you warm to them quickly as you feel Law’s tender touch grip your breast with his other hand. After a few moments of rubbing through your wet folds, Law inserts his fingers inside of you with precision, like he had been preparing for this very moment. 

“Oh!” You gasp out. 

Law pinches your nipple in one hand while he gently taps into your sweet spot with the other. He stretches your walls delicately and gently while he slowly coaxes more wetness from your insides with his fingers. 

“Shit, Law-“ You groan in pleasure and grip Law by the hair on the back of his neck with both hands, bringing his head close to you. He grunts and begins to place messy kisses down the column of your throat. “F-faster… honey please…” You beg as you buck your hips into Law’s precise touch. Law obliges and pulls his fingers into your g-spot firmly and quickly, you feel the pressure of your orgasm built faster than you were anticipated. 

“Law, I’m- I’m-Fuck-“ You cry out as you reach your peak. 

“Yes, give it to me…” Law presses his face into yours and captures your lips in a needy kiss as you release all over his waiting palm. Chilly doctors fingers finally warmed by your insides, he pulls himself from you slowly. You breath heavily as you come down from your high, giggling slightly as you relax your head on the pillows of Law’s bed. 

“Good , b-baby?” Law awkwardly asks, realizing he’s going to now be asked to perform for the main event. 

“Yes… but I want you now. Please…” You grab further down Law’s back trying to pull him up over you fully. He shifts in compliance with your touch so your hips are aligned. “I can take it…” You whisper as you sign Law’s weeping cock up with your entrance. You couldn’t believe this was really happening… but you knew this was what you wanted…

“Y-your legs are shaking… are you sure? We don’t have-“ Law stutters out as he unconsciously rubs his head against your soaked pussy. 

“I want this. I want you.” You assure him. “Just do it.” 

Law nods. 

He pushes into you fully to the hilt in one swift motion. 

“Ahhh-“ Law groans the instant he feels your wet walls wrapped around him. 

“Fuck-“ You cry out, not fully physically or mentally prepared to have a man inside of you or on top of you again, regardless of who it was. You slam your eyes shut and your body goes rigid. Law senses your change in demeanor. 

“O-open your eyes. It’s just me.” Law whispers down at you as he supports himself on his arms above you. “It’s just us…” 

You open your eyes. 

Seeing Law gaze at you with such adoration and lust, all insecurities and past anxieties melted away in his ice crew eyes. You bring up your hand and cup Law’s jaw. 

“I love you, Law…” You whisper. 

“I love you too, Daisy.” Law replies as he gently pulls himself out of you and begins to tentatively thrust his hips. “So much…” His eyes move from your mismatched ones to where his cock was settled inside of you. “Shit-“ 

“Oh, fuck, Law…” You moan at the feeling of his thick length sliding in and out of your tender walls.

“I-I can’t last…” Law stutters out, embarrassed. 

“That’s okay…” You reassure your anxious lover and stroke his back. 

“Fuck!” Law quickly removes himself from you and you gasp at the sudden absence of sensation. You crane your neck down and see that Law gas empties himself all over your stomach, ropes of cum shooting so far that it decorated the underside of your breasts. 

Law collapses on top of you, sandwiching his own spend between the two of you but not caring enough to move. Law rolls out of you, pulling you into his chest without cleaning of either of your messes. 

You laid in his embrace for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of his sharp breaths and sweaty skin against yours. This man loved you, and you loved him… and so it shall be… until the end of things…

— — 

*A/N* WOOOO THEY DID IT! 19 CHAPTERS LATER!!! THANKS FOR STAYING ALONG FOR THE RIDE YALL! It’s gonna get angsty in the next chapter ugh I’m sorry guys… but enjoy the sexy time and the fun while we’re here! I promise there will be better smut in the future this was just their cutie pie first time :)

[tiedyeflannels]

Adventure of a Lifetime

Kim Taehyung x reader

Chapter 14 | Masterlist

A/N: *warning sirens* ANGST UP AHEAD!! This is what writers would call the "climax of the story", but in all seriousness, this chapter was THE main reason why I had started this series. If it wasn't for this, it would probably still be in my drafts, ngl... Anyways! I hope you enjoy!

We laughed as we stepped through the door and into Tae’s apartment. We were immediately greeted by Yeontan as we took off our shoes and made our way to the kitchen.

“I think it’s so cute how they basically switch personalities when they’re drunk,” I laughed as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

“Who? Jk and Hobi,” Tae asked, right behind me as he reached over and got a bottle himself before I closed it.

I smiled, nodding, just when Jeong-Gyu walked into the kitchen.

I turned to greet him, “Oh, hey!”

“Yo! When did you get back,” Tae asked, taking a sip from his water bottle.

“A few hours ago. Where did you two go? I was surprised that we didn’t see you when we came home,” Jeong-Gyu leaned on the island, looking between both Tae and I.

“Tae took me along to his practice with the members, then we had dinner together. Didn’t he let you know,” I asked.

Jeong-Gyu shook his head, “No, he didn’t.”

“Sorry, I should’ve texted you and Y/s/n just to let you know where I was going so you wouldn’t have had to worry,” I said, looking between them.

There was tension starting to grow in the room, but I couldn’t place a finger on why.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go take a shower and then get ready for bed since it’s getting late,” I said.

“Yeah, I should, too,” Tae said, as he followed me out. I headed over to the room Y/s/n and I were “supposed” to be sharing and saw laying on the bed, scrolling through her phone.

“Yo!”

“Hey,” I said, passing by the bed and walking over to my suitcase to grab some clothes.

“Did something happen between you and Jeong-Gyu,” she asked, looking up from her phone for a second.

My brows furrowed as I shook my head, “Not that I know of… why?” She hummed before she gave an answer, “I’ll let you take a shower first.”

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion as I walked over to the bathroom and closed the door.

~

“Okay. What do you mean ‘Did something happen between you and Jeong-Gyu’,” I asked as I shook my hair out with a towel.

She sighed, “Well, he’s been acting differently ever since we got home and realized that you weren’t here. I knew you had to be with Taehyung, but his mood seemed to turn sour after I said that.” I tilted my head in confusion at what she told me.

“So I wasn’t sure if something had happened,” she said.

I hummed, guessing that he was causing the tension in the kitchen earlier, but still not understanding why Jeong-Gyu is acting like this.

I shrugged, “I guess I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow.” She hummed in acknowledgement, “Are you getting ready for bed?” 

I nodded, “Mhmm, I’m sleeping on the couch in the living room after you kicked me out last night.”

“It’s not my fault! You know I don’t like cuddling,” she said defensively.

“Yep, and that’s my fault…” I said, monotonously.

“Anyway, thanks for letting me know about Jeong-Gyu. You know where I’ll be if you need anything. Night,” I said as I started to walk out of the room.

“Good night, Y/n/n,” she called out after me.

Walking over to the living room and rolling the blanket out, a conversation could be heard in the kitchen, but since if was muffled I thought I would stay out of what they were talking about.

That was until… I heard my name.

Maybe they we’re talking about me in passing, I thought as I shook my head and finished setting up where I was going to sleep when something in their conversation caught my attention.

“Are you really upset that I brought Y/n along with me?”

“It’s not just that,” Jeong-Gyu aggressively sighed, which made me draw closer to the kitchen to hear a bit better.

“You’ve been taking Y/n’s attention away with your charms!”

“What are you talking about,” Tae questioned and I couldn’t help but agree; what was he talking about?

“This trip was supposed to be just us having fun, but you had to take them away,” Jeong-Gyu sarcastically said.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not my fault. You’re the one that started to abandon Y/n to hang out with their sister. If you cared more about your friendship than this little crush of yours then we wouldn’t be having this problem,” Tae said sharply. 

“Oh! So you’re saying that you just took pity on them, acting like some kind of hero so Y/n would fall for you good looks and charm. Is that it,” the younger brother spat out.

“Do you even hear what you’re saying?!”

“You get everything! A good job, good looks, millions of fans that throw themselves at you left and right! Why can’t you just let me have this?”

“I thought you had feelings for Y/s/n,” Tae asked, voice slightly raised.

I quietly peeked into the kitchen debating whether I should stop this or not.

“Yeah well, all this time without Y/n made me realize that I have feelings for them, too!”

I huffed and rolled my eyes before deciding to end this and started walking in.

“Too bad, because I have feelings for Y/n too,” Tae spoke, making me stop in my tracks and my eyes widened.

What does he mean by that…

“Y/n,” he gently muttered, making Jeong-Gyu turn in my direct and pulling me out of my daze. 

“What’s going on here,” I sighed.

“How much did you hear,” Tae asked.

“A little too much for my liking.”

Jeong-Gyu visibly cringed at my statement, definitely not liking that I heard the argument.

“Listen Y/n, I can explain,” he tried to start, but I held up my hand to quickly silence him.

“I don’t want to hear it right now because you’re clearly not in the right state to think rationally,” I said, pointing to his chest that was still heaving from the anger that he had earlier.

“And I don’t want you two to keep fighting, so take the air mattress and sleep in the family room down the hall. I’ll talk to you about this later.”

I gave him a pointed look before he solemnly nodded and walked out.

I closed my eyes and sighed before looking at the eldest brother. He stayed standing where he was, brown eyes on me. I walked over and lead of the island beside him, arms crossed.

“You seem awfully calm for hearing everything that happened,” he tried breaking the tension.

I weakly smiled, feeling a bit too overwhelmed by all of this.

“What happened,” I sighed.

He shrugged, “You’re guess is as good as mine. All I know is that he was going on about me ‘stealing’ you away from him.”

“He’s an idiot,” I huffed.

He nodded and we stood there for a while in silence as the tension started to dissipate.

“How do you feel about him having feelings for you?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I think he just misses me by his side and is now mistaking that for romantic feelings.”

A moment of silence fell upon us before he raised another question.

“And…” he hesitated, “How do you feel about me… having feelings for you?”

I stood there for a moment.

How do I feel about it, I asked myself before saying, “I don’t know.”

I looked at him, trying to decipher my emotions, but the more I tried, the more I became confused. 

He sighed, “I’ll just get my confession out of the way, if that’s okay?”

I slowly nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“I’ve really liked hanging out with you, Y/n. I’m not sure when I started having feelings for you, maybe it was that day at the park or when I first set my eyes on you at my parents’ house, but there isn’t a day that goes by that you’re not on my mind. You’re incredibly smart and witty and sweet and I would love to stay by your side for as long as you’ll let me.”

Tears started stinging my eyes as he took a couple steps to stand in front of me.

“I know it’s confusing and you still need to work out your feelings so I won’t ask you to give me an answer right now. I’ll wait how ever long you want, whether it’s tomorrow or when you go back home or a year from now.”

I dryly chuckled as a tear rolled down my cheek.

Tae softly brushed finger across my cheek, clearing the tear before leaning in close and replacing it with a gentle kiss.

He pulled back far enough to look at me and whispered, “Whatever your decision is, I’ll wait for you. I promise.”

He quietly left the kitchen as my tears started to freely fall.

Chapter 15

Taglist:

@maple-leaves-in-the-wind | @eli-xar | @amaroho

[curryandbread]

AAA I HEARD YOU WRITE FOR CHARISMA HOUSE can you do ohse x fem reader?? or gn reader, whatever ur more comfortable with! i don't have any specific promt sorry im just starved of content 😭

Minato Ohse and an artist!girlfriend

I apologize for my inactivity, I rarely write and I can only do so much, lots of requests have bene piling up and I’ll still keep it at my own pace. I apologize once again.

I don’t really know what prompt exactly what to give you but for now here are headcanons for a female reader who likes to paint!

TW: Suicidal tendencies

Ohse rarely goes out but let’s say he did just to get some fresh air (or because Terra just urged him to because he looks like he’s about to die after not getting that vitamin D of the sun lol). Unluckily, he was with Amahiko that day. He met you when you were sketching somewhere at a park, he was too afraid to come closer to you to take a peek at what you’re drawing but of course Amahiko notices him staring at you for too long and just nudges him to have a go.

You guys start talking about what you like to visualize before applying it into places. You could sometimes get confused and grim on what Ohse brings to the table; usually out of pocket remarks of his which made him think that he’d k!ll himself for saying horrid stuff to you, but you don’t faze. You just find it.. interesting.

It wasn’t long until both of you began meeting at the same spot, but this time Ohse slowly starts to get comfortable with you as he tries to join in on the small sketching session. He tends to sing tunes with a horrible background story in the lyrics, which disturbed you quite a bit but you didn’t mind regardless.

You know Amahiko got that ECSTASYYYYY radar going on so he probably knows about Ohse’s interest in you, and almost everyone in the shared house (but Fumiya, he probably knows but just doesn’t speak until he’s asked to) that Ohse has been acting a little… different. Rikai actually gets a little creeped out that Ohse does not only go out of his room, but out of the actual house to actually see you.

The confession from Ohse would be accidental, jumbling his words and putting a plastic bag over his head and just telling him to literally off himself, you oblige and return his feelings with a grin. The whole debacle of Ohse apologizing and announcing that he’ll k!ll himself went on for the next 10 minutes until you both just agreed to meet each other again tomorrow and went home. Ohse doesn’t know how to tell this whole scenario to the boys when he gets home.

At some point you had probably proposed to Ohse about doing each other’s portraits for fun. Of course Ohse shyly agrees, though he wouldn’t let you see his; it takes a lot of convincing.

Maybe one day, you ask Ohse about what his inspirations for his paintings are and you try to think of something similar to that yourself.

Ohse is the main reason why he doesn’t stay holed up in his room. The house is thankful for your service (lmao)

Ohse may not show it, but Ohse’s heart is so full to have someone like you. From that point on, you became his sole inspiration for everything he does. Of course the habit of suicidal tendencies don’t go away, but it guilts him a little when he thinks of you.

[lizadale]

little bitty piece of dg!au to prove 1) i’m still working on it (slowly) and 2) dimentio is a little shit

[]

The path home from the restaurant is much easier; all you have to do is find somewhere no one can see either of you and flip dimensions. It lands you a ways off, near the edge of the forest, but then you simply move yourself and Luigi back onto the doorstep, where Polterpup tackles him immediately to the ground. The force of the dog itself wasn’t enough to floor him, but the step backward he took in response led him to trip over a medium-sized box left on the front step.

This by itself seems innocuous, so you head inside without sparing another glance. But then he brings the box into the house and presses it incessantly into your chest until you take it.

“Very clearly addressed to you,” he says with a roll of his eyes.

“What?” you ask sharply, alarmed. Only three people know you to be here. Did Merlon, determined to cast judgement himself, mail a bomb to the house? That seems rather counterproductive to his goals, and, reading the mailing label, it becomes clear that he had no involvement.

It is addressed to one Thursday Night Living Room Trickster, and where the return address would go there is only a drawing of a flower.

“Does she not remember my name?” you ask, moderately offended.

“Probably doesn’t know how to spell it,” answers Luigi from the kitchen, where he hangs both of your cookie fortunes on the fridge. (For what purpose, you do not know—likely to menace you with them later.)

You set the package on the dining table and stare at it.

“You’re not gonna open it?” Luigi comes out of the kitchen again with, to your chagrin, a container of creamer with which he’ll presumably make himself more coffee. At least he went into the kitchen at all this time, and maybe there is something to be said about him now trying to enjoy the drink now as well.

You nod toward the box. “You open it.”

“Uh, no? It’s for you.”

“What is it?”

“I dunno, she didn’t say anything about it to me.”

“She has no reason to send me anything,” you tell him, suspicious. “She does not even know me.”

Luigi starts the coffee machine and gives you an exasperated look. “What, you think it’s a trap? Just open it. Sometimes she’s just like this.” He reaches into the buffet near the table and slides a pair of scissors your way, then he wanders down into the basement.

Reluctantly and very, very carefully you cut the tape loose and lift the lid. Within, anticlimactically, is another box, though this one has a merchant logo on it. You relax a little, assuming it to be something store-bought, but it does little to abate your confusion. You take up the top of the second box.

Inside is a pair of boots; solid black, attractive, soft leather, tall enough to stop below your knees but cover most of your shin. The soles are sturdy, with about an inch on the heel.

Luigi comes back upstairs with a box under his arm and catches you running your hands over them in bewilderment.

“…I guess she did ask for your shoe size,” he comments.

She did, you recall, the very first time you met her, apropos of nothing. You look accusingly from Luigi, to the box, to the boots, and back to him, and he has the gall to shrug at you over his coffee and wander away. You take the box to the guest bedroom and set it down on the floor against the wall, the boots tucked inside, still suspicious even though you’re not quite sure why. Then you head back downstairs and spend the rest of that night trying to coax Luigi into his room.

A night which he also chooses, despite your heckling, to spend awake.

“I’ll sleep tomorrow,” he promises you, setting another jigsaw puzzle on the table. “Right now…I’m just not tired.”

You pretend to not be interested in the puzzle at all—and manage to stay convincing until the following day. You come downstairs and find him asleep in the chair you left him in, slouched over with his head resting on his arms over the table. He barely completed the outline of the puzzle, and Polterpup is laying on top of the guide picture to capitalize on its status as a hindrance. A politer person would let him alone, maybe after gently draping a blanket over his shoulders in a cloying, warm gesture of affection; but you’re not that person. You’re also not cruel enough to intentionally disturb his first sleep in days, but you’re not about to tiptoe around the house at his wordless behest, either. The fact that he is getting sleep is satisfactory, but you’re not going to structure your day around it.

Long disclaimer aside, you don’t even do anything. You just walk into the room and Polterpup yips directly into Luigi’s ear in greeting. It isn’t your fault.

Luigi jerks awake at the sudden noise and tumbles out of his chair, taking a handful of puzzle pieces with him. While he’s down, you quietly sit across the table from him to sift around in the pieces—seeing you once he pops back up spooks him again so much he reels back and bonks his head on the wall behind him.

“Good morning,” you say cheerily.

He squints at you, rubbing the back of his head. “…Okay.”

“It is customary that when somebody greets you with ‘good morning’ that you should address them with a similar pleasantry,” you inform him. “It is proper etiquette, I hear.”

He stares at you for a moment, unsure whether to knock you off your chair. Ultimately, he decides to not respond at all, plodding into the kitchen to make toast. Judging by the reactions, you can surmise that he didn’t sleep all that well. That’s still an issue you need to address, but he isn’t making it easy.

By the time Daisy crashes through the front door, you have half the puzzle put together without really realizing you were taking it seriously. You expect Luigi placed it on the table intentionally to keep you distracted—meaning he is far more cunning than you once thought.

As usual, they spend most of the visit elsewhere, returning late in the day. They had eaten out, much to your chagrin, and you reluctantly accept the take-home box of food they offer you. From your perch on the sofa in the living room you hear Luigi make an impressed comment about you finishing the puzzle (Easy. Painfully easy, really.) before he starts cleaning up the kitchen. Daisy, predictably, comes to bother you.

“So,” she says, leaning over the back of the sofa with her chin in her hands, “do you do anything besides read?”

Today, you decide to play, and look up from your book. You don’t see Daisy as a threat and making nice with her would work in your favor, anyway. “Literature is not exciting enough for you, I take it,” you say dully. “Would you like me to do a backflip for you?”

“Dude, chill.” She lifts her head and straightens. “I’m not trying to harass you, just curious if you have any hobbies. You know, like for small talk.”

“Small talk,” you repeat, a bit amused. “I thought myself to be ‘on thin ice’ in your regard?”

She squints down at you. “Lu says you’ve been decent lately, so.”

You kind of wonder what the hell that means. ‘Decent’ meaning not actively tripping him in the hallway? ‘Decent’ meaning you’ve been keeping your plotting more subtle until he stops feeding the Heart all of his delicious unhappiness? Or ‘decent,’ meaning your presence doesn’t personally offend him?

“I have always been a gracious houseguest,” you announce. “It is not my fault he’s only just now noticed.”

“Right, right, my bad,” she says, with an emphatic eyeroll. Then, as is routine: “So. Shopping?”

You pause, snapping your novel closed and giving her a level look.

You are wearing the boots now; you have been since this morning. They fit, in fact, very nicely. It has been a long time since you’ve worn something that fits. They press snugly enough against your legs that you forewent the usual practice of taping up your ankles, and so it is that much more noticeable that the rest of your ensemble leaves much to be desired.

Neither Luigi nor Daisy have said a word to you about you wearing them, but Daisy is much less subtle than he is, openly smirking at your feet more than once during her speaking to you.

You open your mouth to respond, and then Luigi meanders into the room—something mundane and inconsequential if not for the teacup in his hands. You freeze, and he lifts the cup pointedly and says, “This actually tastes pretty good—what brand is this one?”

You stare incredulously at him, only hoping as you sense the color drain from your face that you do not look as appalled as you feel. “It—it is—” you start, too slow.

“Is that tea?” Daisy snorts. “Are you drinking tea? I’ve never seen you drink tea.”

“It’s good for you,” says Luigi defensively. “I don’t really like hot drinks, but it’s cooled down. What’d you put in it?” he says, looking up from the cup to you, completely oblivious to how much colder it makes your blood run.

“Ah, so that’s why there’s tea,” says Daisy, also looking at you.

That is why there’s tea, but why drink it now? Yes, you made tea in between you finishing the puzzle and the two of them arriving. You drank most of it yourself, but left a little over half a cup left by way of an experiment. To see just how well he could sense magic.

Because if there are items left out on the kitchen counter, he will surely clean up, and if there is sustenance left in any of those items, he will help himself. Was it a long shot to assume that Luigi might partake of a stray cup of tea, given his usual aversion to it? As you said, it was an experiment. Whether he would pick it up was guaranteed; whether he would sense your tampering with it was debatable; whether he would drink it and then insist that it tastes ‘pretty good’ was not even close on a long list of outcomes you had mentally prepared.

To put it bluntly: you cursed the tea. It is not something you have done more than once, and only on Mother’s behest, that you should properly know how to incapacitate someone in one of the subtlest ways possible. Poisoning someone with curse magic is in no way practical, really, because even if the victim does not detect it until it is too late, they would still be able to tell by the altered taste. And you may have felt a little bit petty after last night, and hadn’t really been terribly cautious about exactly what sort of effect it might have on Luigi, as, again, you doubted he would try to drink it anyway.

You in no way expected to do much damage to the Moon with such a thing but seeing him both utterly unaffected as well as enjoying it is—it’s highly unsettling. He should, at the very least, have the decency to pass out, or report intestinal distress, or—or something.

As if to distress you further, Luigi takes another sip, looking thoughtful. “No, really, what did—?”

“Let me try,” says Daisy, reaching curiously for the cup, and you shoot straight up on the sofa, launching your forgotten novel over the table.

“And here I thought we were discussing a shopping trip?” you say jauntily, and Daisy all but completely forgets about the mysteriously delicious tea. Maybe it has no effect on the Moon—fine. But it most assuredly will kill the girl.

“Waitwaitwait, really?? Is that a ‘yes’?”

Luigi blinks. “Uh, hold on—”

“I may yet change my mind,” you warn her.

“No, you won’t!” she shouts, “I’m putting my shoes on!”

“Er,” Luigi says unsurely, face paling. “I—I’ll—”

“You’ll get some rest,” says Daisy, slinging her bag over her shoulder and giving him a one-armed hug. “I’m gonna go buy your paralysis demon some clothes—Dims, c’mon we’ve only got five hours until the mall closes!”

You click your tongue, wondering if you’ve made a grave error, and follow her duly out the door. “I will give you two hours, at most.”

You give Luigi a look before you leave, indicating that he not try to follow. “Enjoy your tea,” you say airily, and even though you are out of his sight you still feel him squinting suspiciously at your back.

[bvannn]

Weekly Update May 3, 2024

Tomorrow I graduate and get my degree. I know most of what I post is art and music so it might be a bit of a surprise to some of you to learn my degree is actually in chemistry! I worked really hard for it but got all A’s and B’s this semester. Really sad my internship is over but I’m hoping I’ll get a permanent job like it soon. I’ll be returning to my lab job from last summer pretty soon, but I think I might have next week off, at least for the most part, so I can make up for all the art work I didn’t do this week.

The main thing I did was work on the comic. I can probably finish the page I’m on in one more sitting. I’d guess I’m still only around 11 or 12% done, but that’s fine, I’ll have much more time to work next week so I hope progress will be faster. If anything having more time will bore me, and when I’m bored I have to work on something. Last night I stayed up real late for an anime campaign game (worth it) and whenever it wasn’t my turn, I’d draw.

I also did a bunch of songwriting stuff this week, trying to work more with lyrics. BATB lyrics are probably 50% done, also threw together lyrics that maybe I’ll turn into another smaller song, or maybe I won’t. If I get that one done I won’t need to prepare anything elaborate for visuals like the others, but also it’s so half baked that I’m not sure if I’m going to invest more time into it. I haven’t touched any other music projects this week.

I didn’t do anything with animation this week. Not even writing. I’m planning to invest more in that next week, too. I’ll try to get back to actually making the puppet rigs next week, since having three things to alternate between should keep me from getting too bored. Also because the new FNF update has real fun animations and make me want to flash animate again. Again I’m not sure how much I’ll need to animate in flash vs CSP, but I think getting faster at rigs will be a good skill to have. Plus I’m getting attached to the Kyo design, I might pull a nem or neru and rename him and split him off into his own character. If I do I’ll post a little character sheet for him, since he’ll probably be relegated to music related projects.

Last thing: TTRPG stuff: playing in the campaign last night helped me finally get unstuck on the campaign I’m writing, for real this time. Plus, for the next session we have to make new characters and happened to roll one of my favorite words (three guesses what word), so I expect to get very attached to that character. At night and in the car ride back home on Sunday I’ll try to write more, although good chance I’ll just be getting that character sheet ready and then take a big nap.

Next week I’m going to rest first and foremost, but then I’ll inevitably get bored and put in a rotation of projects to do, and hopefully have more to show. I’ve done a fair amount of smaller doodles that I’ll try to trickle out this weekend, and next week I’ll try to throw together a flash puppet, get more storyboards done, and more comic progress. Not necessarily in that order of priority. And then for smaller writing projects will be more epithet work or more song lyrics if I’m ambitious. I’ll try to get a schedule together on Monday, maybe I’ll post it if it’s good enough. Bottom line is I’m going to try to get back to doing art projects right as soon as my health is back to normal. I’ll also be in an area where I can get access to produce as well, so I’ll try to eat healthier to boot.

[jodilin65]

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1990 I deliberately slept till 8:30 this evening as Andy and I couldn’t have auditioned cuz Andy’s without a car till it’s fixed. Brenda’s also without a car, but tomorrow morning at 7:00, she and Kevin are going to look at a car this guy’s selling for $600. Or, I should say instead, they’re going to pick it up. They’ve already seen the car. So anyway, I made myself sleep long and late to reverse my schedule for a week or so. Then it’ll go back to nights till I want to or need to reverse it again.

I’ll tape Unsolved Mysteries, but I’ll have to miss Hunter. I’m also gonna cancel Martha.

Early in the morning, Brenda’s gonna call me so I can get stamps to mail my mail which is all set and ready to go. Also, she’s going to take me to Food Mart, then when she brings me home I’m gonna do laundry.

Tonight I finished putting up my pictures in a different way and it looks really nice. I also changed the cat box and swept the kitchen floor. After I finish my tea, I’ll listen to some music and do some drawing.

Later…

John isn’t working today. Meanwhile, I tried to get a hold of Dr. Statz, but she’s on vacation I guess for a couple of weeks. I don’t know if I wrote about her but one of the 3 times I was in the ER, she treated me. I’m 100% sure the male nurse, working with her was gay and I’m about 85% sure she was gay. I was just totally touched by her and it was weird cuz she wasn’t overly attractive. There was just something about her, you know, like Linda’s song goes; It’s not that you’re attractive, but oh my heart grew active when you came into view. And I had a crush on her. Sweetie pie.

And ever since then, I haven’t forgotten about her. I can hear God too, saying, “Uh-uh, against the rules.” I think he wants me with someone less attractive so I can learn to look at only people’s personalities. But I’d never be with Brenda if she were a bad person. Maybe another reason God has is that if I get dumped, I won’t be as hurt as much as I would be if I were overwhelmed. I still long for that someone with the character and personality I most desire and to feel that special once-in-a-lifetime sexual spark.

Please, God, please! Answer my prayers. Do it someday very soon. Please. God, what if I made a deal with you right here in this book? And that deal is if I promise to try my hardest to quit smoking, then will you think about it? Also, a beginning break with my singing, then I’ll pursue it from there. I hope you put some big and serious consideration into my requests. If singing and having that special someone and a baby are 3 too many things to ask for, then I’ll understand. I’ll settle for the singing and the special person only and give up the baby without ever asking for anything else.

Later…

Around 9:00 this morning Kevin and Brenda came and got me and dropped me off at Food Mart. Then, I waited a good long exhausting wait while Brenda brought Kevin to Palmer, then back to pick me up. After she picked me up she brought me to Shopper’s where I got a photocopy made of my birth certificate and stamps for my mail which I mailed in the box right outside the store.

While waiting for Brenda at Food Mart I saw Allison. We spoke briefly and she said she’d give me a call soon.

So all my errands are done except for Friday when I get the pigs more food and their big bail of sawdust. I still need to call Philip and John and tomorrow I’m definitely, no matter what, going to go see Paula. Jessie’s probably gonna call today. She’s another one I need to see, and she and Brenda can meet each other.

I finally got back here at 10:30 this morning and I fell asleep till 3:30. I’m exhausted but I’m gonna stay this way so that at 11:00 tonight, after Hunter, I can go to sleep. I better not wake up either, like around 3:00 in the morning and not be able to go back to sleep till 6:00 or 7:00, then sleep till mid-late afternoon. I want to be up in the mornings from tomorrow until next Tuesday. That means the next 5 mornings.

Later…

When I got up I made a pork chop and some angel hair pasta and got a call from my sister. Tammy said Ma said to her, “I don’t want Jodi alone for her b-day, Chanukah or Thanksgiving.”

Tammy also said Ma said to drive in and get me in the morning and bring me back the next day. Tammy said she then tried to explain to Mom that it’s impossible with 3 kids, the business, and with Bill working till 6:30 at night. Then Tammy said Ma pulled her typical line of, “Good-bye, Tammy.”

I guess Ma fails to remember that I’m not alone. I’m not single anymore and my girlfriend is fully willing to drive me down this Saturday and for Thanksgiving and also for my birthday and Chanukah which Tammy says she’ll combine into one big party. I mean, Tammy’s right. She can’t up and go drive for that amount of time and it’s pretty strange why Ma’s so concerned about me not being alone for all these things.

I’ve spent them alone before but then again when your own God damn aunt and uncle invite you over for Thanksgiving like they did last year, then conveniently forget to call you and pick you up, that’s not my fault, is it?

Another thing Tammy mentioned is that Ma bragged about all this time she was gonna spend with Tammy, Bill and the kids which turned out to be a joke. Tammy said she wanted to spend the day with me. HA. It was a wonderful hour we had.

All I can say is, I’ve had it with this family shit and I don’t wanna know from nothing. I haven’t had to deal with it for 5 years and I’m not about to deal with it now. Also, I’m not going to Florida either. A week’s vacation isn’t worth a week of her bullshit along with it. I mean, that’s not how my vacation packages or anyone else’s should be. Really, if it were an ad it’d read like this: We’ll give you a week’s free vacation with all expenses paid, but the catch is that you must put up with Dureen O’s bullshit.

Another case of taking the bad with the good. Fuck that!

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1990 I wish I was just waking up, but instead, I am wide awake. I slept till 6pm. I’ve been so zonked out cuz I’ve had to be up at a certain time for a certain reason and wasn’t getting enough hours of sleep.

I have many errands to do such as buying pig and cat food. I also need a bail of sawdust, stamps, and to make a photocopy of my birth certificate.

The mouse, who’s getting bigger, is now riding his wheel, and boy is Shadow ever getting big fast.

Andy came over earlier and we made some phone calls to people who had ads in the Advocate to sell things.

Andy’s really upset. He’s having trouble with Miles. Needs to find a job. Needs to pay bills. Got in a car accident which he’s going to have to pay almost $1,000 to fix. It’s not fair that some drunken girl, who did get arrested, slammed into a parked car, then Andy slammed into her, yet Andy’s at fault. He was wearing his seatbelt and the scary thing is, is that if I was in the car, I probably wouldn’t have had my seatbelt on and I’d have gone through the windshield. Who knows how many stitches I’d have to have gotten in my face. There are so many fucked up drivers it’s amazing. And very, very scary, too.

I’m so pissed at myself cuz I just remembered I was supposed to have called Philip 3 days ago, and John, and see Paula.

Later…

I’m writing here on the waterbed and I put the mouse on the floor inside his plastic ball, and Shadow’s having a hell of a time watching him and wishing so desperately to play with him. Or eat him. It’s quite a funny sight to see when he’s in his ball running around with Shadow chasing him. It also was so cute when Shadow was sitting in Toffee’s cage. He doesn’t want to harm the other animals, but he may accidentally cuz his playing may be too rough for them cuz he claws and bites.

Those drawings I did really blew my mind. I never could draw a line on a piece of paper before and I feel good yet weird. It’s like - what’s next? I discover one thing after another I can do. If not perfectly, then better than most.

Here comes Shadow once again to enjoy Gremlin after taking a dump in his shit box.

Me and Andy may possibly go to an audition together early this evening so I hope I get some sleep before then. Right now I’m gonna go listen to music. I haven’t listened at all today. After that, hopefully, I’ll get some sleep, get up early in the afternoon and get my errands done, call John and Philip and maybe even see Paula.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1990 I fell asleep at 5:30 PM after being up 21½ hours and of course, almost an hour ago I woke right up. I was kind of hoping I’d sleep till 5 AM. Anyway, guess what I’m doing today at 9 AM? Taking the police exam. I called Boston after talking to Tony today out here on Locust St. during a car accident. He said the people weren’t hurt too bad and that it had to do with insurance and he was tired of supporting the welfare recipients. So, I mentioned the exam to him and some other cop and they said that maybe the test was canceled due to all the layoffs, and to call Boston and check. When I called, I told the woman I never received my notice and she said that they did have trouble with their mailings and asked me for my social security number. I gave it to her and then she read back my name and address and said it was tomorrow morning at 9 AM. It’s at Converse High on State St. They allow you 3 hours for the test, but you’re free to leave when you’re done. There are 100 questions which means I cannot get more than 30 wrong. She said it’ll be 120 days before they mail me my marks. That’s 4 months, unfortunately, and she says there are around 2000 people taking the test. Lastly, she said to bring a birth certificate, a photo ID, and some number 2 pencils. Brenda took me to Shopper’s Drug where she met Emily and Emily gave me the pencils. Well, I bought them, of course. And a pack of cigarettes like a jerk.

I was going to go to Tammy’s tomorrow but Brenda’s got a visit with her kids she can’t cancel and Bill’s here tomorrow and Monday. Maybe Tuesday. Tammy’s gonna be pissed and I understand that and I’m dying to see Sarah, but this test only comes up once every two years.

Later…

It definitely doesn’t look like I’m going back to sleep so I’ll write for a while. I’ve got a CD playing. Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits. It’s pretty good. I like most of the songs on it. Some are boring.

Tomorrow, after the test, I’ve still got to get pig food and a heavyweight bowl for Tigger. I’m getting pretty sick of him either knocking it over or slamming it up against the side of his cage. I’ve got to get food for Gremlin and Shadow, too. Also stamps and paper plates. And it’s also about time to buy another big bail of sawdust. There’s always something to buy. Such as Gloria’s new record.

I think maybe I’ll go hem some more of those pants Kacey gave me.

Later…

Well, I didn’t hem the pants. One pair didn’t quite fit since I gained weight, but I just took my measurements and I’ve gone down an inch since 3 days ago when I started exercising my ass off and taking Slim-Fast. I did, however, hem an old shirt that was almost to my ankles. I brought it up to mid-thigh length. It came out better than I’d thought but I’ll have Brenda check it out to make sure it’s not crooked. I’m not too thrilled with the way it falls but I’ll ask Brenda.

After I take my shower I’m gonna put another coat of nail polish on and I’m not sure yet what I’ll wear. Something casual. I hope after the test and my errands are done that I can catch a couple of hours of sleep so I can go out to the Halloween party at the Pub tonight. I want to wear my new black lace skirt. Part of me hopes Brenda ends up too tired to go so I can observe others without her observing me observe others. But then again we mutually do look at other women and we’re honest with each other. In the long run, Brenda will never have anything to worry about cuz gay women, of course, are a major turn-off to me in general, and it’s against the rules for me to have someone I’m attracted to. Oh well. At least God allows people to be attracted to me which is nice as long as it’s not major sickos. I mean, everyone gets that here and there, but the good thing is, is that as time goes on I’m having an easier time getting better people even if I don’t quite meet my desired standards.

Ok, time for my second coffee, then my shower.

Later…

Brenda dropped me off at 8:30 this morning, and they made everyone who didn’t get their notice to appear for the test go into a room, and they gave us an “appear” card after checking to see if our names were on the list, and also our photo IDs and birth certificates, in which I’ve got to photocopy and mail to Boston.

They had us print and write our names and they compared them with our signatures on our licenses.

There were several butches there and I got stared down good by guys and butches. This Hispanic girl was sitting next to me. I’m not sure, but I think she was gay with the way she gave me this huge smile and waved at me the second I walked in. I sat next to her and we chatted here and there before the test. She urged me to choose South Hadley for 1 of my 4 choices of cities or towns I wanted to work in. My first choice was Springfield, however, and I had no choice cuz you had to pick, for first choice, the place you lived in for the last 12 months. My second choice was East Longmeadow. I would’ve chosen Longmeadow, but it wasn’t listed. My third choice was West Springfield. My fourth choice was Chicopee.

Another thing was that there were two classroom monitors. One man, one woman. The woman constantly stared at me. I caught her once and her face turned bright red. Then after the test, as I was leaving, I could see her grinning to herself with the same red face.

We didn’t start the test till 9:30 and I finished at almost 12:30. I’m not sure whether I passed or failed. There were some tricky questions that I had to go over and over. I’ll know sometime in February. I am anxious though and never have wanted to speed up time so badly in my life. I usually don’t care about time or wish I could stop it and drop dead.

The landlord will be here any minute to fix the heat. Today and all last night I froze my ass off.

I told Tammy I’d be down next weekend and she said she wasn’t mad and that she understood and to think positive about the test.

After the landlord leaves, I hope I can catch a few hours of sleep so I can go out tonight.

I called Philip and told him about the test and he’s happy about it and he asked me to keep him posted. He also told me to call him tomorrow. I called John too, and he was both pleased and proud. Then lastly, I spoke with Andy.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1990 I’m going nuts just sitting around here, so since I can’t have music, I’ve got to find something. Those dickheads never sent me my notice for the police exam, but I figured as much to begin with. I don’t know who’s responsible, therefore, I don’t know who to call to bitch about it. Oh well, like I said, I figured I’d never be notified just like I knew I’d never get that security job at Mercy with John.

Why is it that anything I’d be good at and want to do I just can’t? It just wasn’t meant to be. If I was smart, a long time ago I’d have chosen a career I hate, never want to have a baby and if I’m ever single again, I’d pick all the ones I don’t want or that are just ok. Actually, they pick me, so I should say.

Later…

I tried calling Philip about the stereo but he’s not at work and not answering his phone at home.

Today, I’m gonna go to Food Mart for cat food, stamps, and paper plates. Also, I want to go to Brightwood Hardware in Longmeadow for pig and mice food.

I’m getting tired as hell but I want to push it as far as I can so I sleep somewhat into the night. With my luck, however, after 3 or 4 hours of sleep, I’ll bolt wide awake and not be able to fall back asleep.

I’m really starting to want to work. I need extra money and this being at home all the time bit is really getting to me. But since I can’t sing or be a cop and am too chicken to drive the cab, what can I do other than McDonald’s or something really boring and stupid?

I’m gonna call apartment rental people for general information about duplexes. I know I can never afford it, but it never hurts to get some information. I’ll go get the yellow pages.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1990 I’m still wide awake and probably will be for a while. I’m just having a grand old time with the new phone. There’s a mute button on it too, and you don’t need to keep holding it down like you do on most other phones. You hit it once and a red light glows which tells you it’s in use, and to discontinue the mute, you hit it again and the red light goes off.

A little while ago I listened to the 45 of the song Take a Chance On Me by ABBA. I bought it today at One Stop Records. I always liked that song and I used to have that record. I don’t know whatever happened to it, along with tons of other records. They either got old or I got sick of them or they were stolen.

Later…

Why, oh, why didn’t I stay the fuck off cigarettes!?! I had 3 cigarettes in 1 week and here I go and smoke a whole pack yesterday and today I’ve had close to a pack. What a jerk, huh? I’m gonna go chuck the rest of my pack, try again till I absolutely can’t fight the urge to smoke, and listen to music.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1990 Well, I’m going to need to go to sleep as soon as possible so in order to help myself sleep, I’m gonna listen to music for a while.

Tomorrow morning I’ve got to call Philip about fixing my stereo. I can’t put it off any longer.

Also, I see Martha at 4:00. I’m not sure if I mentioned it but I think she just may have a thing for me. It’s just this feeling I get and it’s also certain things she says and certain ways she says things. Oh well. Of course, I’ll keep my mouth shut about it. She is married, after all, and she also swore she never mixes business with pleasure and that’s fine and respected by me.

I want to go to Caldor’s too, to see if Gloria’s new album is out. I’m not sure of the name of it and it’s not new songs. They’re all old hits, but they’re in Spanish.

Later…

I just finished killing a spider, which like most spiders, was on the ceiling. I sprayed it with lots of Lysol and perfume to get it down so I could swat it.

Today I got this awesome and I mean totally awesome speakerphone I ordered last week. Now I need to make 4 payments of $22 but it’s worth it. I love it. I can be doing something like writing or making coffee and still talking to someone. Also, I can play people the edits which they can hear well and hear their reactions, and if it’s an answering machine, I can hear it beep when it ends. Another thing too, is if my call waiting beeps, I’ll hear that too.

This insurance company’s got a hell of a long machine. Brenda and I passed it on the way home from Baystate Waste after I saw Martha and I said to myself, “I bet they have a machine.”

By the way, Martha definitely has no desire for a woman. She’s 100% straight as an arrow.

Andy’s got company now so he’s gonna call me later, and Fran’s not home. I’m bored and I love this phone so I may as well go and have a field day with it and look under insurance companies in the yellow pages. It does seem like a lot of insurance companies have answering machines.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1990 Brenda brushed out my hair for me, and God is it getting long. It’s almost to my very lower back and the layers are growing out. The very top layer, though, is completely destroyed. I have massive split ends.

Shadow’s climbing all over me. I think I mentioned before why I changed his name from Bandit to Shadow. He’s like glue. He loves to be near me constantly. Follows me everywhere like a shadow. However, when I go to bed, I shut the bedroom door cuz he always wakes me up.

One thing that’s starting to annoy me is that I’m very bloated. I wanna hurry up and get my period so I drop some water. I don’t want to take my water pill while I’m still finishing up my other medications. I did some exercising and I’m gonna do more later. Also, I’m gonna get more Slim-Fast and eat very little till I drop 10 pounds. It’s funny to say I’m chunky at 105 pounds, but then again I am a very short person, right? It’s not that I weigh too much pound-wise, it’s my shape I guess, I have so much water, too.

I took all my pictures of Gloria down last night. There are only a few in the bedroom. I wanted a change and a break from them so I put them in my file box in my closet. I’ll never throw them out cuz I’ve put so much time and money into them and it’ll be really neat to look back at them someday. Maybe I will put them back up, though, in a matter of months or someday. I still wish I could afford a duplex as I’d make the cellar the music place with the posters, the stereo and keyboards and I wish I had a washer and dryer. By God, I’d love to be able to afford that. I’d have 2 bedrooms, 1½ baths and a dishwasher too, no doubt.

Later…

I’m now watching the premiere of Law & Order. Before this, I saw In the Heat of the Night. Brenda left after Matlock. I put Brenda’s hair in a braid. It looked nice.

I still never got any notification as far as the police exam is concerned. I’m not stupid, though. They’ll never notify me worth shit.

I’m gonna go make some angel hair pasta. It is so good.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1990 I was exhausted before, but as usual, I woke right up. Man, oh man, was I just through a hell of a nightmare since the last time I wrote! I had to go to the ER 3 fucking times and I was terrified! I literally thought I was going to die and it hurt so bad I wished I would drop dead till it was over. I had the worst asthma in my life. They had to take me immediately (usually you wait forever) to give me oxygen treatments, and the last time I had an IV. It was really scary. I could only smoke 3 cigarettes in one week’s time. I’m on Prednisone for 12 days and Bactrim which is an antibiotic for 10 days. Also, I’m on Theodur and Alupent which is the same stuff in my inhaler. Theodur and Alupent are the two most common drugs used for asthma.

I saw Mom and Dad on the 15th and we had a fairly good visit. They came up for about an hour or so. They’re back in Florida now.

I may possibly be going to my sister’s this Saturday. Tammy’s really sick now, too.

Steve and I spliced a wire today so I can edit from the CD player onto the stereo and it sounds great, too. I have plenty of editing to do as well as story writing.

They raised my food stamps to $114, so I did a huge grocery order and I never had so much food in my life, but I really need to lose weight. I’m getting pretty chunky lately.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1990 It’s been one week now and I still feel like shit. Oh well. It also looks like I’m gonna have to cancel going to my sister’s tomorrow. One reason’s cuz I feel like shit and the other’s it’s contagious. I don’t want to stand and just look at my nieces from 3 feet away, I want to hold them and hug them. Tammy mentioned going next weekend if I couldn’t make it this time.

Then I’ll be seeing Mom and Dad on the 15th, and it fucking figures I’m sick so I can’t sing.

Yesterday I got 3 journals at an excellent price. I mean a really fantastic deal. Normally the 3 of them would’ve cost close to $24, but I got them for $12 in the secondhand department. I’m glad I discovered that they sell them there which is weird cuz these books are brand new and just as nice as the regular main part of the store.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1990 Tracy called me and Andy last night. We were both thrilled to hear from her. I played her the edits which she thought were great. She didn’t contact us, she said, cuz she needed space and time to sort things out.

Last night was awful. I was so full of congestion. I never knew one could have to blow their nose so much. It’s red and sore now and I feel much better now that I drained out all that shit so I guess it was worth the misery. Tomorrow, or today I should say, Bill will be here at 1:00 so I hope I can get a little sleep. I had to sleep all day today as I was so miserable. It’s called “sleeping it off.” I’m thankful I feel much better though and also thankful it wasn’t the flu. Anything but the flu. Smoking very little also helped get rid of it quicker but I couldn’t have smoked much if I wanted to. The funny thing is, though, for the last 3 days I really haven’t had much of a desire to smoke. Today I had 5 or 6 and psychologically I still think of it, but the physical part isn’t too bad.

I love this little kitty of mine to death. I’m so glad Brenda got him for me.

Share to Pinterest SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1990 Yesterday, I only smoked 7 or 8 cigarettes. Today, even though I still slept till 9:00 tonight, I’ve had 3 so far. I am very, very congested so that’s part of the reason why I’ve smoked so little. Also cuz I have these sneezing fits and cuz of my wheezing. In 48 hours I’ve smoked only 11 cigarettes so that’s why I’m constantly blowing my nose like there’s no tomorrow. It gets worse before it gets better after you’ve either quit or cut down cuz all that tar and shit starts draining.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1990 Gee, I have exactly 1 day short of 2 months till I’m 25 years old. A quarter of a century.

My new little kitten, which Brenda got me, is sitting here in bed with me and he’s so loving and so affectionate. The one thing you couldn’t do with Sasha was pick her up and cuddle her or have her come to you and let you cuddle her for more than 3 seconds. His name is Bandit. He’s now trying to distract me from writing by rubbing up against my book and me and giving me kisses. He’s fairly gentle with his claws but when he gets a little older I’d like to get him neutered and declawed. You know I hate being clawed when you’re playing with them. I mean they can just sit or stand on you and their claws hurt like hell. Now he’s playing with my hair which all kittens, cats and babies love to do.

Brenda’s cab broke down yesterday afternoon and while she was at the office, the owner’s wife just happened to be giving away kittens, so that’s how I got him. That was yesterday, the day after Brenda’s b-day. He’s 6 weeks old and looks a lot like Sasha, but Sasha was gray and white. He’s orange and white and his hair’s a little shorter. It’s the same pattern as Sasha’s. I think they’re both tabby cats. He’s so loving and follows me everywhere. And he’s pretty calm and gentle, too. He knows how to pee in his litter box, but he’s still going to have to learn not to go on furniture or chew wires.

I have had absolutely no sneezing fits!!!!!!! And this cat is here to stay till death do it part. My mom was right as far as all my problems being due to smoking and I’ve known it too for quite some time but it was just too scary to admit. It’s scary to think of dealing with withdrawal after quitting but my congestion is getting really bad so I’ve had only 7 or 8 cigarettes today.

The pigs were a little jealous and depressed about Bandit, but otherwise, they’re still the usual loving troublemakers.

I bought Brenda a pair of earrings and a pair of sexy underwear for her b-day and we went to her sister Donna’s house in Palmer. And as I mentioned before, I’ve known her husband Kevin for 4 years. He knew Crystal C, too.

Donna’s a great person who anyone feels comfortable with. The type you could talk to about most anything and who accepts people for what and who they are. The kids were great and Donna’s great with the kids too, and I’d have loved to have someone like her as my mother.

Tomorrow, I’ve got to call John R and maybe I’ll try to leave a message with Dr. Goodman’s receptionist for Tracy, but only once. I also have to call Philip and go to Food Mart. Also, I wonder if Kathy will fix my bangs if I call her. She works at Food Mart and she gave me her number. We went to La Baron together. She hated it too, and she only does it on the side. My bangs really look pretty stupid so maybe she can trim and layer them.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, 1990 Right now I’m on the phone listening to Fran talk to Bobbie. Andy and I wish to hell Tracy would call us.

I’m turning into a very, very slightly ok artist. Of course, some of my drawings are a wee bit explicit. Guess I’ve been horny lately.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1990 My mother said something astounding. Not only was I shocked, but I also shed a few tears. I called Mom and told her that I bought a little tiny fork and spoon for Sarah and socks for Becky and Lisa. Then I told her that I agreed as far as having money and someone to help as far as having a baby is concerned. But I also told her I didn’t like being told what I should do or should not do at this age.

So I finally asked the two questions of my main concern in blunt plain English. I said, “If I have a child someday, are you going to disown me or call the state?”

She said no. I freaked with shock and joy. I absolutely and totally could not believe it.

Otherwise, no more news going on lately. Just that I had a very nice weekend with Brenda and also Gail and Judy. Gail and Judy are so nice. You feel as if you’ve known them for years. They, of course, don’t turn me on but they’re very attracted to me, so I hear. Also, it’s rather obvious by the way they look at me. Same thing with Bonny. I did their nails for them and also, a couple of weekends ago, Brenda, Judy, Gail and I went to Jam’s. We had fun, and I ran into Tracy there who said she broke up with Nancy. Guess Nancy was an alcoholic and a troublemaker. She seemed a little irritated by talking to me and left with some other girl who seemed slightly offended when I asked her if she was single.

Tracy said she was in California on the 4th of July and was so shocked at how feminine the gay women were there. That’s what she likes, too.

She did tell me to leave a message with my number at this dentist’s office where she works on Maple St. But should I really leave a message which I seriously doubt will ever get answered?

My friendship with Andy has been excellent the last several months and he admitted he was being cruel and selfish for a while and then realized it and didn’t want to lose me as his friend. He was also jealous of my looks and my abilities but instead of being negative he’s encouraging and appreciates what I do.

It’s really too bad his relationship with Miles isn’t doing too great. According to Andy, he’s too clingy and constantly wants sex. Also, cuz Andy didn’t give Miles sex for two days, Miles cheated on him. Andy’s pissed and is on the verge of dumping him. He says, though, he thinks Miles is the way he is cuz his father molested him. Also, he says Miles has a big mouth and blabbed some sexual stuff about him and Andy real loud in Friendly’s. He also talks 10 times more gayish than Andy does.

Tomorrow, I want to go see Paula and get something for Brenda, but I still can’t sleep yet and it’s now 3:17 AM. I was beat before. Sometimes life as a night owl sucks.

[calamityandme]

I’ve had a better couple of days thank goodness.

Yesterday I had a “me” day. I played a lot of BG3. ROMANCED ASTARION! It was at the tiefling party/bonfire or whatever. It was so fun lol.

I made myself chicken and dumplings for dinner that night. Spent time with Danny. Overall a good day.

✨(I need to talk about my special interests now)✨

Today I cleaned for R. I had a slightly different list than usual. I didn’t clean parts of the upstairs bathroom because she had already cleaned them, for example. I decided to switch things up with my listening selection. While I cleaned I listened to Rhett and Link’s podcast Ear Biscuits on Spotify. I hadn’t listened to them in a while because I’ve been enjoying cleaning while listening to my library audiobooks, but I remembered that they do special sex themed episodes during the month of September called Sextember so I checked those out.

I really enjoy those episodes of Ear Biscuits. I enjoyed What Are Our Sex Lives Like? (Ep. 395).

I listened to half of EP. 394 Kinks We’ve Tried (Or Will Try) but it was also funny. I only listened to half because I had finished cleaning by then, nothing against them. I plan on finishing it sometime soon.

I want to go on a little bit of a Rhett and Link tangent lol. I have been watching Rhett and Link’s content ever since I was first given access to YouTube. I was introduced to them when I stumbled across their video Squirrel Rights Song.

I have watched Rhett and Link videos at many varying points in my life. Sometimes almost religiously watching uploads, other times forgetting about them for a year until I’m recommended an interesting Good Mythical Morning segment by the YouTube algorithm.

Their videos are just a safe place for me. I have definitely looked up to Rhett and Link as father figures in my life when my dad wasn’t there when I needed him. Rhett and Link had time for me every morning lol. That was enough to leave a good impression on me. I even wrote to them back in the day and drew something of me and my friend meeting Rhett and Link lol. I was 17 and she was 15 at the time lol. Looking back, I’m sure if I actually ended up sending them my letters/package that the drawing of the two grown men standing next to two teenage girls would probably be creepy lol. Maybe it was a good thing those letters stayed in my sentiment box.

I loved the first Good Mythical Evening. I paid for it so my friend and I could watch it together. My friend C is also a long-time fan of Rhett and Link.

I just have enjoyed their content and how it’s changed over the years. I loved the small town commercials, the rap battles, the many GMM changes and skits that have stuck with me throughout the years (Moolissa, Cotton Candy Randy✨). I have a lot of good memories with their content.

But anyways done talking about that lol.

I went to this coffee shop by my work and got myself a special coffee to celebrate going to work today. I really contemplated calling in sick today but I knew in my bones I needed to get it over with.

A few days ago I tried to get coffee from this place and I didn’t have enough money to get the coffee, so i apologized and left the drive thru coffeeless. I thought I had enough but I was $2 short. Today I asked to pay for 2 coffees and only get 1 to make up for my grievance. They were nice about it.

It felt really good to pay for the coffee I couldn’t have earlier. I got myself some lunch and dropped some things off at a donation center near me before going back home for the day.

I played more BG3 today lol. Started watching this alien movie called Arrival. It’s pretty good so far. I have just been trying to take it easy since today was my “hardest” day of the week. Hard meaning most physically exhausting I would say.

Tomorrow is engagement photos. I’m so so nervous but excited. I know I’m fat and I’ll look fat so I’m trying to brace myself. Fat doesn’t equal bad. I am fat and that’s okay. I’m beautiful because of me and everything that I am. Mantra for photos ✨ I’m excited for my mom and maybe nana to see our venue too.

I’ll end this post with some marigolds from our garden. Ignore the dirt lol.

[atomicallysound]

27/7/23 - late

growing up is hard. it’s 4am right now. well, 3:56am if you wanna be technical about it. i remember the first time i stayed up until 4am i was 8 or 9 years old and i stayed up cuz i was was watching american dad with my sister… then she went to bed and i went playing on my computer. i was listening to spanish flea by herp albert on loop for like three fuckin hours, i remember cuz i drew my oc cakies playing the trumpet. it was actually a pretty good drawing for what i could do at the time, with my fucking mouse and mspaint and all — but that’s besides the point. after all that i went on minecraft and joined random servers and started arguing with people just to be annoying. man, it was so entertaining! it got to 4am at that point and i remmeber thinking “wow, this’ll probably be the latest i’ll EVER stay up!” then my dad came home from wherever the fuck he was and i went to sleep.

but about that… isn’t it something how when you were a kid; staying up was this monumental unheard of action? i always felt so wild staying up to even midnight. now it’s like whatever. just another night.

i’m not even tired yet. i’m TIRED, of course, but i’m not sleepy. i have this fucking headache too. and i can’t stop sneezing, so even if i could sleep, i’d be too busy sneezing to do anything about it. i think i’m getting sick. i don’t know where from since i haven’t really gone anywhere since i quit my job. man, i really fucked myself over by taking a nap earlier! at like 3 or 4pm i was depressed as all hell so i thought i’d sleep it off. it worked, i felt better when i woke up, but i woke up at like 8pm and royally fucked my sleeping schedule… oh well, i’ll just drink a shit ton of coffee tomorrow. or, later, i guess… i don’t really consider past midnight to be “tomorrow” until the sun rises. i don’t really drink coffee anymore… i used to be all about it but the last time i drank it was a deeply terrible latte from like, 3 weeks ago…

i got that deeply terrible latte because i went to starbucks to have a table to write at, and the employees were all having a lovely conversation with eachother and i suddenly felt sorry as hell for coming up to them because then that meant they’d have to stop talking just to give me my stupid drink. i wanted to jump out the fucking window at that point but i’d already walked up to the counter, and i wanted a caramel macchiato but i couldn’t remember if that was simple or hard to make — and i didn’t want to be any more of a bother than i already felt i was, so i decided to order the most basic simplest drink i could think of so they could go back to their conversation sooner, and ordered just an iced latte, please.

maybe i shouldn’t have gone to starbucks anyway because the latte sucked, it was like four fucking bucks for this muddy puddle water with a few ice cubes in it, the table i was writing at sucked & was sticky, these girls behind me kept laughing in my direction and i couldn’t tell if they were laughing AT me or just laughing & happened to look near me, i felt like an idiot, i didn’t even have anything to write about, the fire alarm kept going off cuz they were testing it, honestly why am i even talking about this? who cares? what is wrong with me? why do i feel like the scum of the earth for daring to buy a drink from people who make drinks for a living? maybe there is something wrong with me… or maybe it’s just starbucks. i don’t really like starbucks that much. 90% of my starbucks visits where id buy something have been thoroughly unpleasant. there was an incident with a certain vegan breakfast sandwich. there was a muffin i bought to share with my friend who then decided she didn’t want any and i had to sadly eat this muffin by myself while she just watched. there was a hot chocolate i burned my tongue on. but i will admit, their caramel macchiatos are good.

the birds are singing outside. it’s like 4:30 now. 4:29 if you wanna get technical about it. how have i spent half an hour writing already?

i kinda wanna stay up and go watch the sunrise. but at the same time… sleeping sounds good. goodnight friends

-yellow

[nanesuma]

Hello journal, nice to meet you!

It's been about a week since I woke up here

I’ve decided to start writing in this journal to help me keep track of events and the timeline of what my life is now... I hope moms okay I wonder if she's worried not like I really reached out much. I’m not sure what month or year it is here and I lost track of time a lot back home. It’s been tough compared to my old life of wallowing alone but I already feel better I always thought I was more of a feral human it seems I was right the sky’s orange here which doesn't make sense since the sun’s still yellow but its kind of relaxing, my tinnitus is gone too although im not sure why. I think this world is going to be better for me in the long run

Here's everything different I've found about this world::

The sun is still yellow but the sky is a pale orange, the night sky is still mostly black but you can really see everything, it’s beautiful. There are new constellations to mark and it seems there's a north star here too, at least I assume its north I really have no way to know it seems there are no other humans here so I dont have to worry about my directions being wrong to others atleast

It is barren of cities, it's nice but off-putting sometimes once you’ve lived around thousands of faces every day it's hard to come to terms with the fact that everything you know is gone I haven’t wondered too far from my cave after the first day here I hope there's something sentient here or I might not be sane forever

Vegetation is largely the same, the leaves are a little different and the fruits tend to be sweeter but nothing huge.

Most of the same animals are here too although I've seen some new species im not sure what to make of them. Some are horrifying and probably lethal…

I’ve also found slimes are here and quite easily tamed they are very in tune with predators and have helped me stay alive so far all I need to do is give them food and they seem to be fine living in my cave

The trees are thick but there are some random patches of empty land, I’ve been worried to step there it might be some kind of trap door spider or worse, the sticks and rocks I've tossed yielded nothing but im not risking my life this early in

The air is so fresh, and everything about me has sped up to some degree it might be the survival instincts in me or the fact you can smell everything so strongly I wonder how these plants survive in such fresh carbonless air, I can't complain myself though

Magic is here, real magic the stuff I've dreamt of since I was a kid and it’s ridiculously intuitive like I was built for it or rather it was built for me. That's how I created this book and this paper, I wonder if I could print images too

Overall this seems like the ideal world for me I just wish it was the one I was born in, boredom's harder to fight I dont even have books to read

:

Today I managed to hunt some kind of boar and thanks to magic starting a fire was easy, the 2 slimes (I haven't named them yet) ate most of the bones which was a shock, they don't digest things normally my best guess is they immediately break down everything inside them and store it somehow.

Tomorrow I think I’m going to start mapping the area out I’m sure there's some way to measure distance with magic for an accurate map hopefully I can draw with spells too or it'll be messy

Plans for the map:

Scout around  the forest as much as I can until afternoon maybe I could try wind magic to fly up and get a better view

I’ll mark everything down as I go

To whoever may find this        -Nanesuma

[tracle0]

Eppe

[glimmeringtwilight]

OVERLOADED

Spontaneous Childe fic written feverishly in like three hours. Not edited; I have work tomorrow so I'll edit it once I'm home. Enjoy. The continuation to this fic is here.

CW: Graphic depictions of violence, minor character death, non-consensual touching, yandere behavior. Childe being Childe.

Word Count: 1.8k

You taste blood. 

Everything aches. Your body is no doubt littered with various bruises and scrapes. 

Still, you force yourself to sit up, hissing at the sharp pain lancing through you with the movement. Archons, you just want to sleep. To lie back down, close your eyes, and let unconsciousness soothe the ache of your body. 

But you can’t. Boots come into your vision just as you force yourself back to your feet, haggard eyes meeting gleeful ocean blue ones. 

The harbinger before you looks much like the cat that caught the canary, and the smug satisfaction on his face pisses you off. 

“Wipe that fucking smile off your face before I do it for you.” 

Normally, you’d never speak to another person like this, much less a fatui harbinger. But you’re already in too deep. Grabbing a shovel and digging doesn’t mean anything now, does it? 

Childe’s smile grows. It doesn’t reach his eyes. 

You should have just stayed home. You should have listened to the nagging feeling in your gut that told you to not go out, instead of shrugging on your coat and heading out into the cold night to get yourself a drink. 

Maybe if you’d done that, you wouldn’t have seen something you shouldn’t. Wouldn’t have stumbled across the harbinger and his lackeys discussing something not meant for your ears, what sounded like a plan to endanger Liyue Harbor and bait Rex Lapis (but isn’t he dead?) out of hiding. Wouldn’t have stepped on a fucking branch (just your luck), alerting them to your presence. 

Wrong place, wrong time.

You were a fool to think you stood a chance. When the agents charged you, you’d reacted in kind, vision flaring to life and polearm springing to your fingertips. They went down easy, and you wondered if their boss– Childe, you remember seeing him around that shady bank the Fatui run– would be the same. 

He wasn’t. 

The horrible rumors you’d heard about him, from unfortunate victims of the Northland Bank (well. The ones who didn’t mysteriously vanish without a trace), were true. He had a smile on his face the whole time, as he deflected blow after blow. 

He was giddy. Thrilled to fight you. You were sure he must be getting his rocks off to this. Freak. 

And with the way he hardly seems out of breath, when you've been exchanging blows for what feels like hours but was probably only a few minutes, you know he was going easy on you. Drawing it out. Playing with his food. Cold dread settles low in your stomach and festers there. 

“You really did a number on my agents, you know? I’m not sure they’re still alive anymore.” Childe’s voice is conversational, cheerful as he says this. Like he’s talking about the weather. 

You swallow back bile and refuse to dwell on it. You don’t even glance toward the crumpled bodies of the two agents you’d downed. The smell of charred flesh stings your nose.

“You don’t care? Wow, you’re ruthless, aren’t you?” He laughs. “Regardless… You’re out of your depth, here. You can always surrender. I promise I’ll be gentle.” 

You summon pyro to your polearm, the tip of the weapon igniting in a brilliant orange. He takes on a defensive stance, smile faltering slightly. It spurs you on. 

“So you have some fight in you yet. Give it your all, killer.” The nickname rolls off his tongue like a poisonous barb. You suck in a breath through your teeth, willing back the pain, and leap into the air. 

Heat licks at your heels as your vision propels you higher, and you feel frozen for a second as your momentum slowly shifts and you begin to fall. Ocean eyes meet yours. You tighten your grip on your spear and aim for his throat, fire crackling in the air as you plunge down like a meteor. 

There’s a flicker of purple. You don’t even get the chance to dodge, electro coursing through your veins, the overloaded reaction sending you flying back. 

Your back slams against something hard. You hear a pop as you bounce off the boulder you’d slammed into and onto the ground. White hot pain lances through your shoulder, and you think you scream. You’re not sure. Your ears are ringing, vision blurry and nerves overloaded with pain. 

Lingering electro dances across your skin, plucking playfully at your muscles as you twitch from both pain and the elemental reaction. 

“-okay?” He’s saying something to you. It feels like you’ve been dunked underwater, pulled into the ocean by a riptide. His voice is distant and muddy beneath the turbulent waves. 

“... too rough-” A hand slides underneath your shoulder blades, and you whimper at the sheer, oversensitive pain from the simple touch. It hurts. Nothing has ever hurt this bad. You feel like the hand touching you is burning, hotter than your vision could ever hope to replicate. 

When he shushes you, other arm hooking around your knees, you settle. There’s a muffled praise that follows, demeaning, like he’s talking to a dog, and you want to claw out his stupid blue eyes. 

You don’t get the chance. Black spots fill your vision, growing and growing until it’s all you see. There’s a muffled heartbeat at your ear, an unfamiliar melody in the other, and both work in tandem alongside your pain to drag you into unwilling sleep. 

When you wake up, you’re in your own bed. 

A nightmare, you think. And then the pain catches up to you. 

Everything aches. You feel like you’ve been run over by a train, nerves still fried to oblivion (though bearable, at least, now), and the brush of cool sheets against fevered skin feels as refreshing as it is overwhelming. 

“Oh, you’re awake? Good. I was beginning to think that I’d killed you.” Childe’s voice grates against your ears and you try not to flinch, turning your head to peer at him. He’s on the other side of the room, back turned to you as he fiddles with the picture on your dresser of you and your late fiancé. 

You watch as he takes the back off the frame, slipping the photograph out and pocketing it casually. You open your mouth to protest, but all that comes out is a weak croak.

Childe turns to face you, hands in his pockets, looking relaxed. Like he lives here. “You must be parched. Here, let me help.”

You expect him to leave and return with a glass of water, but no. Instead, Childe approaches you, moving to sit on the edge of your bed and lifting you slightly by the shoulders to prop you up. Your quiet hiss of pain makes him smile. 

You’re about to ask him what the fuck he thinks he’s doing, but a thumb pressing past your lips and something cold and wet sliding into your mouth kills the words on your tongue. It takes you a few seconds too many to realize it’s water, he’s using his vision for this, and the excess water dribbling down your chin is what snaps you back to reality. 

You swallow involuntarily. He smiles and looks like he’s about to say something infuriating, so you cut him off and bite down on his thumb. Hard. 

The taste of copper on your tongue makes you gag and pull back. He doesn’t let you. Childe grips your jaw firmly and pins your tongue under his thumb, smearing the fresh wound against it as a manic smile lights up his face. 

The look in his eyes scares you. Wild and manic, but still as hollow as they’ve been, devoid of light like every time you’ve seen them. He looks excited, hungry, and you feel much like meat on a hook in front of a starving wolf. 

A firm hand against your chest stops you when you jolt forward, trying to push him off you so you can get away. His thumb finally, finally, slips out of your mouth, and he lays his weight on top of your chest as you gag. 

The motion agitates your injuries. You realize he must have patched you up, when his hand instead brushes against your bandaged shoulder. The pain isn’t as sharp as it should be– did he use his vision to heal you, too?– but it still aches enough for you to wince when the gentle touch turns firm. 

“Easy, killer. I just wanna talk.” You hate that fucking nickname. He knows this. You wish he didn’t. 

“Then talk.” You spit. Your voice is still hoarse, still quiet. You’re still thirsty, but you’re not going to invite him to force water down your throat again. 

Childe chuckles, and you sigh in relief when he stops laying his weight on top of you, instead planting his elbows beside your head to cage you in. This position is worse. You hate it, and you have how boyish and cute he looks like this, betrayed only by the hollowness in his eyes, devoid of light. 

“I have a proposition for you. Something to help you out of this… situation.” You don’t say anything, and he takes it as a sign to continue. “I can’t exactly let you go, so you can run around, spilling valuable fatui secrets…” 

He brushes a gloved hand against your chin, expression suddenly carefully blank. You don’t like where this is going. 

“The fatui could use someone like you. With a little training, you’d rise through the ranks quick. Who knows, maybe you’ll someday be an even match for me…” 

“No.”

Childe looks unbothered. In fact, he looks pleased. Like he wanted you to refuse. “Then I have another offer.”

“What, you kill me?” 

Childe laughs at that, pulling away so he’s no longer invading your personal space. He still hovers, still too close for comfort, but the distance gives you relief. “No! I’m not a monster.”

You must be making a face, because he laughs again, raising his hands concedingly. “Okay, okay. Maybe I am. But I have no interest in killing you, don’t worry.” You’re worrying. “If you won’t join the fatui… Well. I have space in my home for you. Or would you rather stay here? It’s a little small, but I’m sure I can make it work.”

Cold dread fills your veins. “I’m married.” It’s a flimsy excuse, paper thin. 

“Are you?” And his eyes flit down to the necklace you’re wearing, holding both your ring and- and… 

You bite back the hot and angry tears that threaten to rise. You won’t give him the reaction. You won’t give him the satisfaction. “Go crawl back into whatever moldy abyssal pit you crawled out of, and die there.” 

He laughs, and his eyes glint. “You’re not far off the mark there…” He doesn’t elaborate at your confused look. “Mmmbut.”

Childe moves to straddle your hips, leaning down once more to cage you in again. “It wasn’t a request.” He smiles serenely at the horror in your eyes. “You should have taken me up on my first offer. But I don’t mind. I think we’ll both enjoy this arrangement better.” 

When he leans down to kiss you, you feel his tongue swipe his blood from your lips. 

“Yes, this is much better.”

[uvobreakmylegs]

Detour

I’m excited that it’s fall but i’m also sad that i won’t be able to swim anymore

Warnings: death, graphic depictions of violence, creepy behavior, groping, mentions of smut, kidnapping

The two guys at the gas station check out counter had been there when Phinks had first walked through the sliding glass doors, and they were still there when he approached the check out himself, having only dropped in to grab another pack of beer. The gas station clerk seemed annoyed while the two guys were pulling their pockets inside out, evidently in search of any spare change that may have been hiding on their persons. There was a sad pile of jenny and some change sitting in front of the clerk while she waited for them impatiently, and she seemed ready to push all of the money back towards them as it became more and more likely that these two didn't have enough cash for the assortment of alcohol and junk food that also sat on the counter.

Any other time Phinks would've been annoyed by the situation. But seeing as he didn't have anywhere to be, he found that he didn't really care all that much. The troupe likely wouldn't meet back up for some time which left his schedule quite open, and he had found it difficult to find something to occupy his time with while he waited for the boss to bring everyone together again.

Phinks had decided that a road trip was a decent way to pass the time. It was something he'd never really done before and so far it was easing his boredom as he had hoped it would. There was no real time limit he had set on himself or any destination that he had in mind. He'd just keep doing whatever he felt like until the novelty of the trip wore off and then go home.

“Would you like to take a few items off?”

The tired voice of the clerk cut through his thoughts, and Phinks found that there had been no progress with the two in front of him.

“No no, we need all of it,” one of the men, a redhead, insisted, “we just, uh....”

Trailing off, the man glanced over to Phinks, who was still waiting with his single pack of beer. Then the man looked over to his companion and then back to the items on the counter.

Phinks could already sense what the man was going to ask of him before he spoke out.

“Hey man,” the guy said to Phinks, “I know it sounds bad, but do you think you could spot me on this? I'm bringing this stuff back for my party. We ran out of some stuff way quicker than we expected. Can't let people down, y'know?”

The redhead started telling him how much more they needed until the clerk interrupted him to tell him off for harassing other customers for money. A mini argument started between the two, with the man insisting that he wasn't harassing anyone and the clerk disagreeing with him. The man's friend joined in shortly after and it was quickly turning into a mess.

What obnoxious fucking people.

If he was in more of a bad mood he'd have probably snapped the necks of all of them. The presence of cameras stopped him from doing that, however, as it would just be too much of a pain to go to the back and destroy the footage after. Still, even though he didn't have anywhere to be, it didn't mean that he wanted to waste his time listening to people bicker. The easiest way out of this was to just give them the jenny so they'd all shut up.

After pulling out his wallet, Phinks slid the jenny across the counter.

That shut the three of them up, and the two men were quick to express their gratitude while the clerk just looked tired.

“Thank you so, so much, man,” the redhead continued after they collected their bagged items.

“Mm-hm.”

Phinks was only half-paying attention to him as he waited for the clerk to scan the beer so he could hand her the jenny owed. That transaction went much quicker and Phinks was soon making his way to the exit.

The two men seemed to be waiting on him, though.

“Hey, since you helped us out, you wanna come to my party?” the redhead asked.

Normally his automatic response would've been to give him a flat “no”. But in this instance Phinks just shrugged.

That seemed to give the redhead hope, and he began listing the reasons why Phinks should follow them back, like his “cool house”, hot women and great beer.

Given the especially cheap brand of beer Phinks had largely paid for, he had a hard time believing that last point. He also wasn't quite sure why this guy was so insistent on getting him to come along. Was it really just because Phinks had bothered to help them out?

“Name's Stu by the way. Back there is Billy,” the redhead told him, sticking out his arm to shake hands. When Phinks didn't do the same, Stu seemed a bit dejected, yet even that didn't make him back down from inviting Phinks.

“So how 'bout it, man? You wanna come?”

“.... I'll think about it,” he told him.

“Okay, but do it fast man. My place isn't that far from here.”

Phinks nodded, and Stu ran off to the car where his friend was waiting. The other guy didn't seem as keen on Phinks as the redhead had, regarding the blonde with suspicion. Phinks could hear him saying something as the two entered the car. Stu seemed to brush him off, and then their car doors closed and Phinks couldn't hear anything else.

The two ended up pulling out of the parking lot before he did, and Phinks found himself following them as they all made the same turn onto the highway.

He still had no real urge to go to some random guy's party, especially when he found him to be pretty annoying. And if it was a party filled with the friends of someone like that, he'd probably get irritated with all of them pretty quick. Better to just ignore them and be on his way.

Although the thought of just driving aimlessly through the night wasn't all that attractive, either. He'd done that several times now, and the feeling of being the only person in the world while he drove on the empty highway had lost its touch by now.

The car in front of him veered off the highway to get onto a side road.

After a few seconds, Phinks did the same, just thinking to himself 'why not?'. It would be something different, a little detour on a trip that was meant to be a distraction, and if it ended up being something that he didn't want to bother with, then he could just leave.

Although the noise level in the house wasn't quiet, it was nowhere near ear-shatteringly loud as Phinks may have expected. At least it had that in it's favor. Other than that, it was a stereotypical frat house party, with everyone talking and drinking as they got more and more shitfaced.

The two who brought him here vanished into the kitchen, and Phinks began to make his way around the house, sipping one of the cans of beer he had bought for himself since he had no interest in the shit the host had him pay for. A girl in one of the upstairs rooms noticed the beer in his hand and begged him to share with her, even going as far as to tug on the sleeve of his jacket when he told her no. He ended up pushing her away, and though he had tried to use as little force as possible, his strength combined with her tipsiness caused her to stumble back into a wall. She was still whining about him when he walked back down the stairs, going on about how mean he was.

He thought he'd been pretty nice to her, all things considered.

It didn't take long for Phinks to lose interest in this particular distraction. Not that he'd been expecting much, but after going around the house and not even seeing anything that might be worth stealing, he figured it'd be best to leave soon. With his short temper being one of his vices, he didn't want to deal with what would happen if some drunk got on his nerves and he smashed them into the wall.

With the sights, sounds and smells became grating to him and seeing no reason to stay any longer, Phinks went about trying to find an exit. Attempting to get out the same way he came in was put to a stop when he saw how congested the front entrance had become. He could've easily pushed past all of them, but since that would likely draw a fair amount of attention, maybe it'd be a better idea to find a different way out. Phinks wandered into the kitchen, walking by Stu who tried to talk to him. A patio door leading to the backyard caught his eye and he ignored the party's host as he walked by several people to get to it.

The cool air outside felt refreshing and he let out a soft sigh as the patio door slowly swung closed. Claustrophobia generally wasn't something he had an issue with, but that seemed to change a little when he was faced with a house full of drunken strangers who didn't understand the meaning of personal space. Another nice thing was the fact that no one else seemed to be out here. He didn't think it was that cold out, but it worked just fine if the people inside thought otherwise.

He stood on a deck with an assortment of patio furniture that sat in front of an in ground pool, and when he looked to the side, he saw the gate within the fencing that surrounded the backyard.

That was his way out, then.

With no more reason to stick around, he was about to head out and back to his car-

But he paused when he heard the sound of splashing water, and he looked back to the pool.

So he wasn't the only person out here.

Some of the patio furniture had blocked you from his sight so he hadn't noticed you at first, but you were now swimming out into the center of the pool and impossible to miss. It was pretty late in the year for swimming, wasn't it? Yet you seemed to be content with yourself despite the temperature and lack of company, swimming around the pool like you owned it. Maybe you did; he wasn't sure what your relation was to the party host.

Then your eyes met, and you smiled as you greeted him.

“Hello.”

“... Hey.”

He hadn't come out to look for company. He was looking to leave.

Yet something about this situation, about you, intrigued him, and Phinks walked forward, continuing with “isn't it a little late in the season for swimming?”

“That's what everyone seems to think,” you said, “it's going to be drained tomorrow, so I wanted to swim one more time before that. It's the last chance I'll get for this year.”

“No public pools around here?” he asked.

“I don't really like public pools,” you told him, laughing a little bit as you continued “the ones around here are never clean, and I don't wanna swim around in nasty water.”

Phinks couldn't say if he really had an opinion one way or the other. He tried to avoid situations where he'd need to be shirtless in public, as the spider with the number 5 on his ribs would've been a dead giveaway for anyone who understood it's meaning. He just shrugged at you as he said “fair enough.”

Phinks now stood at the edge of the pool while you swam up to the edge.

“I don't think I've seen you before. You new around here?” you asked him.

“No. Just passing through. Helped out the host at the gas station and he invited me as thanks,” Phinks explained, “I was expecting this to be taking place at some shitty apartment; didn't think a guy like that owned a house.”

“He doesn't, it belongs to his older brother Jed. Stu just lives with him,” you responded.

“Ah.”

That made a bit more sense to him. Since he hadn't been able to buy beer from a gas station on his own, it didn't seem likely that the guy would've had his own house. So he was just leeching off of his brother.

Despite being ready to leave just minutes earlier, he found that he now had a reason to want to stay here longer. But standing and talking to you was getting a little awkward, so Phinks sat himself down on the concrete next to the pool. So far you weren't annoying compared to some of the others. And despite being by yourself beforehand, you seemed pretty open to talking with him, resting your arms on the edge of the pool.

“You friends with them, then?”

“Jed is in a few of my classes, so I'm friends with him. Not Stu, though. He's kind of an asshole. Likes to play a lot of stupid pranks.”

You rested your chin in your hand as you thought back.

“He's destroyed two of my phones so far, both times by dumping water on me,” you said, “although I guess he did repay me for both, but it's still such a hassle to go through.”

“You're nicer than I am. If some guy like that fucked up my phone I'd kill him.”

You laughed at him, not taking his words seriously.

“You seem nice enough. You helped him out, right?”

“Only because it was the fastest way to get outta there. Stupid bastard started an argument with the clerk.”

“Yeah. That sounds like something he'd do,” you said, tiredness lacing your voice.

A cheer then sounded from inside the house, and though the doors and windows were closed, it was loud enough that the both of you could hear it from outside.

“Things must be ramping up in there,” you commented.

“Guess so,” Phinks said, taking a swig of his drink after.

“Isn't it kinda weird that you're keeping to yourself with an event like this? Don't see the point in going out if you're going to avoid people,” he added.

“But isn't that what you're doing by coming out here?” you asked.

“Nah, I was getting ready to leave.”

“What stopped you?”

“I haven't done much out here beside sitting here talking to you. What do you think?”

You seemed a bit taken aback and a little embarrassed as you realized the reason, but gave him a small smile.

“Oh wow. Are you saying I managed to be charming enough to keep a guy from leaving?” you asked him.

“No. You're just not as annoying as the others I've met tonight.”

Your expression was rather blank as you took in that information.

“..... I'll take that as a compliment, then,” you said, “so what do you do?”

“What do I do?”

“For a job, or just anything in general.”

“I do a couple odd jobs here and there, I guess,” he answered, “every once in a while a bigger opportunity comes up, and I just do whatever I need to.”

It was an oversimplification of his criminal activities, and he hoped that he'd been vague enough without sounding suspicious.

It appeared that he had as you didn't seem to think it was strange.

“You mentioned earlier that you were just passing through. Are you on your way to a job or something?”

“Nah. I'm currently off-duty. And I had a lot of time to kill, so I decided to take a road trip.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” you said, “I work on campus, so I don't really get to do vacations for now. Can't remember the last time I went on one.”

“Job at least worth it?”

“Kind of? Although the other week I needed to go through something stupid.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I got screamed at by a lady.”

Your tone made it seem like that was something happened on a regular basis.

“For what?” he asked.

“Something with her daughter's textbooks. She ordered one that she didn't need on accident but didn't want to admit that she made a mistake, so she just let her mother yell at me for forty minutes and claim that we were the ones who fucked up.”

You sighed a little after the explanation. Evidently that situation still made you frustrated.

“.... Did she apologize after?” Phinks asked.

With a slightly wistful smile, you shook your head as you said “people like that don't apologize.”

“Sounds rough.”

It went without saying that Phinks wouldn't have tolerated anything like that. If it had been him he'd have killed them both and tossed their bodies in the trash. But he kept that rather violent thought to himself.

“Sorry you needed to deal with that,” he added.

“It's okay. It's little things that keep you going,” you said, “I've been looking forward to swimming for a while, so I'm pretty happy right now. Although I guess I'm kinda doing a job right now.”

“How so?”

“Jed's at his job right now, and since he doesn't trust Stu, he asked me to make sure nothing happens to the pool. The last time Stu had a party there was a bunch of trash in it the next morning, and it was a pain to clean up. So in exchange for using the pool, I have full permission to snitch on anyone who tosses anything.”

“Yeah? What's snitching gonna do?”

“Jed's a scary guy. Nobody wants to make him mad.”

If Phinks had felt like being more of an asshole, and if you'd been unpleasant during your conversation with him, he probably would've taken his half-finished beer can and thrown it into the pool just to upset you and also to see if your friend was as scary as you were making him out to be.

But so far he'd been enjoying himself, so as fun as that thought might have been, he decided against it.

You pulled one of your arms off of the rim and back into the water. Evidently you were getting cold, but you held on to the edge to continue speaking to him.

“So how long have you been on your trip?” you asked.

“A few weeks.”

“A few weeks? You must have been all over the place, then. Did you go anywhere in particular?”

“Not really,” Phinks answered, “didn't have any real plan when I set out. Just drove to wherever I thought would be interesting.”

“That's kinda cool,” you said, “must be nice to be able to go wherever you want without any real plan.”

“You can't?”

“Nope. Classes and work means I can't just run off whenever I feel like it.”

“Too busy getting screamed at?” he asked jokingly.

“Yeah, something like that,” you answered, laughing a little after.

You pulled your other arm back underwater and just kept a hand on the side of the wall.

“Cold?” he asked.

“A little.”

“Probably why most people aren't swimming this late.”

“I don't care; it's worth it,” you said, “honestly, the thought of being able to swim was what kept me going this week.”

That.... Was a little bit sad, Phinks thought to himself. That all you had to look forward to at the end of the week was a few hours to swim by yourself in the cold. There were much sadder circumstances in the world – he was certain that anyone from Meteor City would be more than happy to switch places with you – but your life must have felt empty. Although Phinks was technically in the same boat at the moment, at least being with the troupe gave him purpose. What did you have besides a shitty job and presumably a fair amount of college debt? Just the 'little things' to keep you going?

Maybe he was presuming too much; he'd only just met you after all. But it bothered him regardless.

“What are your plans for after college?” he asked.

You seemed a bit startled, and you looked away from him for the first time.

“Not really sure, actually. I'm still undecided on my major,” you admitted, “I need to figure out soon, though. I'm going to run out of the basic coursework that I need to get through, and my family is getting mad that I haven't made a decision yet.”

So you didn't have any direction and were being pressured by others. Still not the saddest circumstance ever, but if it had been him, Phinks was certain he'd have been miserable.

You clearly didn't want to keep going on about that particular subject, as you began to ask him questions about his trip, wanting to know where exactly he had been so far and how much longer he planned to drive for. The change in topics was obvious, but he decided to go along with it.

As the night grew darker while the two of you talked, he decided that he liked you. You could hold a decent conversation, even if the things you two talked about weren't all that meaningful.

You were pretty cute, too.

The party behind him still seemed to be going strong, but it was largely going ignored by you both, in part by the fact that you were still the only ones outside.

Your face lit up as a thought came to mind.

“You should come in!” you told him.

“No thanks.”

“Come on! It's really nice!”

You grabbed at his free hand, tugging on his arm lightly as you tried to encourage him to get into the pool.

“If you get my suit wet I'll drown you,” Phinks said told you.

You giggled, once more not taking him seriously. Though he was only half-serious about it at this point.

“Then take it off and come in,” you insisted.

“I don't have a swimsuit.”

“That doesn't stop most people.

“Good to know,” he said flatly.

Though you'd stopped tugging on his arm, both of your hands remained on his wrist as you looked up at him.

“Can you not swim?” you asked.

“I can swim fine,” he said, “I just don't feel like it right now.”

You seemed a bit disappointed, but you had yet to let go of his wrist.

“Should you really be that surprised with the temperature being what it is?” he asked you.

“It isn't that bad. And the pool is heated,” you insisted, “didn't think a bit of chill would scare off the most interesting person at this party, though.”

The corner of his lips curled a bit at that. He wasn't one for meaningless flattery, but he didn't mind hearing you say things like that.

“Is that why you're not letting go of me?”

“You don't seem to be doing much to shake me off.”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“So you don't want to?”

You were teasing him. And while he could tease you back, he went for a different approach.

He yanked his wrist out of your grip and grabbed your own wrist just as fast, and lifted you up until you were eye level with him. To say you were flustered by the action would've been an understatement, and your free hand grasped at the arm that held you up to lessen the weight on the arm that he had trapped.

With you partially out of the water, Phinks allowed his eyes to travel over your form, following the trails of water that dripped down your skin and imagining exactly what you looked like under that swimsuit. His grin got wider when he saw your body reacting to the cooler temperature and the way your nipples showed through the material. It hadn't been on his mind when he first approached you, but after spending time with you he found himself liking the idea of fooling around with you. Probably not in the house, and he doubted you would want to do anything in the pool due to that friend of yours you had mentioned. Maybe there was some dark corner around here where he could take you to do what he wanted.

You were squirming a little, trying to free yourself from his grip.

“It's cold,” you whined.

“Yep,” was his reply.

“Come on, let go. I'm only in a swimsuit.”

“You weren't letting me go,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but I didn't pull you into the water.”

“Because you're too weak to do that.”

“That's not fair!”

“Don't think this is a situation where fairness matters, sweetheart.”

With that he let you go, and you dropped back down into the pool. You pushed away from the wall after, giving him a slightly sour look.

“Problem?” he asked.

“It's cold,” you repeated.

He just smirked.

“You're gonna need to deal with it at some point,” he told you.

“Yeah, but I wasn't ready for it then!”

You had to have noticed the way he looked at you, right? There was no way you were so oblivious to have not seen how he had blatantly looked you over. Yet you weren't mentioning it.

By now you were more at the center of the pool, pointedly out of his range.

“You done talking?” Phinks asked.

“No, but I don't want you pulling me out again.”

Then you looked away like you were embarrassed.

It clicked for him. You must have liked it, but you were too shy to say anything about it.

Your reluctance was cute, though Phinks knew he'd get tired of that game pretty fast.

“Come back over,” he told you.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

You shook your head.

“You're going to do that again, right?” you asked.

“Maybe.”

“Then no. I don't wanna get out yet.”

“How long are you gonna stay in there?”

“Until I feel like getting out.”

“And if I want you out of there now?”

“Then you'd have to come in and get me.”

…. Oh

That's what it was.

A ploy by you to get him into the pool.

That's what you had to mean by those words, right?

“.... What the hell,” he said to himself as he stood.

It got your attention when he began to remove his clothing, throwing them over to a few neatly folded articles of clothing that sat next to a bag on the patio, which he assumed belonged to you. You were watching him closely, and he could sense a growing interest in you when he removed his shirt. Your eyes lingered a little when you caught sight of his spider tattoo, but there was no hint that you recognized what it meant, which was preferable.

“Enjoying the show?” he asked.

“You were looking at me earlier,” you answered defensively, “you're not allowed to get mad when I do the same.”

“Didn't say I was mad.”

You acknowledging the way he had looked at you then just reaffirmed in his head that you hadn't minded, and after stripping down to his boxers, Phinks jumped in. The water felt just as nice as you had said, but he didn't take much time to focus on it as he was quick to approach you. Within moments, he had wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close, lifting you a little so you were at eye level with him. You seemed flustered again, but you didn't make any move to get away, and were resting your hands on his chest.

“I don't think you told me your name,” you whispered to him.

“Phinks.”

“Phinks,” you repeated, smiling afterwards, “I like it. It's cool.”

“Thanks,” he replied, “and how 'bout you?”

You gave him your name, which he also repeated to himself.

“Not as cool as 'Phinks', I guess,” you said.

“It suits you,” he said.

You smiled at him, then shifted slightly in his grip.

“Are you just gonna keep holding me?”

“You said I needed to come in and get you.”

“And what did you want to 'get' me for?”

Despite the question, you clearly had an idea of what Phinks was after as you began to move in closer to him. Phinks did the same, and slowly, the gap between the two of you was closed as your lips met together in a kiss.

With the heavy scent of pool chemicals that surrounded you two, it was hard to smell much else, but your lips were soft against his. The kiss was a bit tame for his liking, but he let you do what you wanted for now as you readjusted your arms so they were wrapped around his neck.

One of his hands slid down your back to reach down and squeeze your ass, and you gasped into the kiss. He slipped his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment before you pulled away, your hand over your mouth as you looked away in embarrassment.

“I'm not sure we should do much more here,” you said, glancing up at the house behind him, “there are people watching. I'm not into that.”

“Where do you wanna go?” he asked. It didn't surprise him much that you two might have attracted an audience, and when he heard the door to the patio open from behind him, he chose to ignore it.

“I don't think we'll get much privacy here, so how about my place?” you asked.

“Do you usually bring home strangers?”

“Only the really cool ones.”

He grinned.

You were leaning in to kiss him again when you suddenly froze and turned your attention to something behind Phinks.

“Don't do that!” you yelled.

Phinks turned his head just in time to see his and your clothes land in the water, with the guy who'd invited him – Stu, he remembered – pointing and laughing after having thrown them. The annoying woman from earlier, the one who had whined at him for his can of beer, was also there, standing behind Stu and running off with him towards the gate in the fence.

Phinks saw red.

He let you go and swiftly exited the pool, following after the two even as the chill of the night air nipped at his skin. He barely felt it, and he didn't give a shit that he was running around barefoot either. All of his focus was on catching up to those two assholes who'd dumped his clothes in the pool.

He was angry enough that he didn't notice the sound of feet following after him.

The two perpetrators were in an alleyway between two rows of houses, drunkenly laughing their asses off. Their demeanor didn't change when Phinks caught up to them. The woman actually began to laugh harder, probably because Phinks was still wearing only his boxers.

Stu was trying to contain himself a bit, and put his hands up as an offering of peace.

“Hey man, it wasn't anything personal. Just a prank,” he said, “you can use the dryer, and I'll lend you some clothes-”

His sentence was cut off when Phinks grabbed both sides of his head and twisted it completely around, the cracking of his broken neck ringing out in the empty alley.

The sight of Stu falling to the ground with his head facing the wrong way had the woman instantly sober up, and she looked to Phinks as she opened her mouth to scream.

Barely a whisper of sound was able to escape as he did the same thing to her, and now Phinks was standing half-naked in an alley with two dead bodies.

“Obnoxious fucking people,” he muttered to himself.

Then there was noise that came from behind him.

Phinks turned and saw the other guy who'd been at the gas station on the ground, his arms barely supporting himself as his eyes were wide at the sight of his friends dead before him.

His eyes widened even further when he spotted the spider on Phinks' ribs, clearly recognizing what it meant as he whispered “oh my god.”

Make that three bodies, Phinks thought to himself as he rushed forward to snap his neck as well.

Three bodies that he needed to get rid of. If anyone else from the party came out here and found them, the police would be called immediately. He had no intentions of staying here any longer, but it'd be best to put a bit of distance between himself and the crime scene before the police were inevitably called.

He was dragging the other guy by his ankles and in the process of collecting the woman's body when someone walked out into the alley through one of the other entrances. An older woman, who was definitely not from the party and had come from another house, carrying a bag of trash walked out in front of Phinks, and like the guy right before, her eyes grew wide as she saw the sight of the dead before her.

She made a move to run back to her house, but Phinks picked up a pebble that he infused with nen and launched it at her head. It traveled through her skull and the fencing beside her, and blood sprayed out from the exit wound and splattered onto the fence as well as she fell to the ground.

This was turning into a goddamn mess, and after Phinks had thrown now four bodies over into a different backyard, he heard a voice calling out “mom?” from the direction that the woman with the trash bag had come from.

Fuck this. He needed to go.

When he returned to the backyard to retrieve his clothes, he found you on the patio. You were holding his jacket over the concrete, desperately trying to wring out the water that had soaked it completely. You were visibly shivering as you did so, with goosebumps running up your arms and your teeth chattering. He noticed his pants hanging off the fence that surrounded the patio, and while they weren't dry by any means, you had clearly done your best to get the water out of them. Meanwhile your own clothes laid in a soggy heap by your equally soaked bag.

You noticed him when he walked closer.

“I'm sorry,” you told him. You looked guilty for some reason.

“You didn't do it,” Phinks said, considerably calmer now.

“No. But I made a big deal about you getting in with me, and with Stu around I should've been paying attention. I'm really, really sorry.”

He was about to tell you to stop apologizing when he heard a shout coming from the direction of the alleyway.

Fuck. He forgot that he needed to leave.

Luckily you were the only one who noticed, as the rest of the party goers still had the doors and windows securely shut. He pulled on his pants and his sopping wet tank top, and the sensation of wearing those wet clothes was just as unpleasant as he had anticipated. At least his shoes were still dry.

You were still holding his jacket, looking confused as you looked off in the direction where you'd heard that voice. Phinks was about to just take it from you and leave, but when he looked you over again, he thought over the things you two had talked about, the things you had said and how you'd acted around him, and he came to a split second decision.

Grabbing your clothes and bag, he shoved them into your hands before he grabbed one of your arms and pulled you after him. You seemed startled, but you didn't question him as you were too surprised to think of anything to say. He led you out through the backyard and down to where he had parked his car, opening the passenger side door and pushing you inside. He then walked around to the driver's side, and within moments you both were speeding out of the neighborhood.

By the time he came to the highway there was a strong smell of pool chemicals that filled the car, and both of the front seats were slowly soaking up the excess water that dripped off of the two of you.

You seemed to be in a mild state of shock, as you had yet to say anything. You just sat in your still wet swimsuit looking rather confused while you still held onto the soaked clothing Phinks had forced onto you.

After a while you shuddered and finally spoke up.

“Do you think you could turn up the heat?” you asked him.

“Oh. Sure. Sorry.”

Phinks turned the heat up all the way, and after a few moments you seemed to relax a bit, though now you were glancing over at him while smiling nervously.

“Uh, so, there's a lot that I should probably be questioning,” you began, “but I'll start with if you knew why there was yelling?”

Should he lie? No, that might be weird if he pretended not to know.

“I punched that guy in the face. I think I broke his nose,” he told you, “that was likely his friend after he saw him.”

“Ah. Okay,” you said, “that's..... Not very good, but I think I get why you did that. You're gonna get charged with assault, though.”

Fat chance.

“I'll deal with that when I come to that,” he answered, “sorry if I put you in a tough position.”

“It's okay. Well, not really. But Stu's pranks have always been pretty bad and what he did was shitty, so I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Think you can forgive me?”

“... Yeah, I think so. Just promise you won't do anything like that again.”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” you said as you nodded, “so second question: where are we going?”

“.... Not sure. Didn't have much of a plan besides getting out of there and going back to what I was doing,” Phinks admitted.

“So you're just back to driving around going wherever?”

“Seems like it.”

“Why did you bring me along?” you asked.

“.... Didn't want that to be the last time I saw you,” he said.

“Oh.....”

His answer ended up making you flustered again, and while you did seem to be holding some reservations about him with his admission of violence and the fact that he really had just kidnapped you, he could see you rationalizing everything in your mind and convincing yourself that this wasn't all that bad.

It was preferable if you did that. It made taking you with him a lot easier.

“Luckily for me I don't work tomorrow,” you said, “and since the day after that is Sunday and the campus store isn't open then, I also have that day off. So I think it's okay if I drive around with you for a bit. Just get me back by Sunday night, alright?”

“Don't worry. I'll get you back safe and sound,” he told you, and you visibly relaxed at his words.

You were a little naive, a little too trusting. But that was fine. Phinks liked that about you.

“Okay so third question,” you announced as you looked down at the wet clothes in your lap, “what should we do about this?”

“Right. Let me pull over.”

He stopped the car beneath a streetlight, and you sat sideways on the passengers seat while you held the clothes out of the car and wrung the water out of them as best you could. Phinks took the opportunity to change after you handed him his jacket, and he threw the mostly damp clothes in the backseat.

Glancing over at you, he did appreciate how much your swimsuit showed off while you tried to dry out your own clothes. But while he liked the idea of you staying as you were for the rest of the trip, you probably wouldn't be as big of a fan of that. Going over to his trunk once more, he dug around through his bag before he found what he was looking for.

“I don't have anything that will fit you well,” Phinks said as he made his way over to you, “but this should cover you up.”

What he handed you was the long white robe he wore on occasion, usually for combat or missions.

You seemed a bit surprised when you saw it, but you accepted it gratefully. Your gaze went to the jeweled eye that hung near the neck of the garment, and he heard you mumble about it being pretty.

He wondered briefly what you might think of the snake headpiece he usually wore with it, but the time for that would come later as you were currently slipping his robe over your head.

“Thank you,” you told him again as you threw your clothing in the back as well.

Then your attention went to your bag, and you frowned.

“What's wrong?”

In response to his question, you tilted your bag to the side and water began to pour out of it.

“Ah.”

“How much do you wanna bet that my phone is dead?” you asked as you reached inside.

As was expected, your phone screen stayed black when you hit the power button, and you sighed.

“And that's phone number three that Stu has destroyed.”

“Don't worry. It won't happen again,” he told you.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

You tossed the now useless phone into your bag and looked back up to him as if to say “so what now?”

Phinks had an idea for that.

“Wanna go to a motel?”

“A motel? Wow, you sure know how to treat someone,” you said sarcastically.

“You really think I can get you into a nice hotel with you looking like that? You don't even have shoes,” he said.

“I didn't get a chance to grab them,” you responded, though you seemed to concede a bit.

“Could we stop somewhere tomorrow so I can get shoes or something?”

“I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe if that's what you want.”

You laughed at that, shaking your head and saying that you didn't need that.

Before too long, Phinks was back in the drivers seat while you watched the streetlights as the car passed them by, your fingers idly playing with the jewel on his robes as you did so. He had turned down the heat and turned on the radio, and though it still felt strange to be sitting in the wet seats, it wasn't bothering either of you as much anymore. The smell from the pool was mostly gone after driving a bit with the windows opened just a crack.

Except for the occasional car that drove in the opposite direction, you were the only ones on the highway.

“How far are you gonna drive?” you eventually asked.

He wanted to get out of the state at least. Phinks didn't want to deal with a confrontation with the law while also taking you along with him. He wanted to get as far as he could while you were still cooperative, and whenever you realized that there was no chance he'd be taking you back, he'd go to more extreme measures of keeping you with him. Your phone being dead was a good thing for him; you wouldn't be able to try and get help as easily.

“I think we've passed by three or four motels already,” you added, “was there something wrong with them?”

“No. Sorry. I got a bit distracted,” Phinks replied, “I've come to really like the highway at night. There's something soothing about it, I guess. Wanted to stay like this for a bit longer.”

You nodded in response and looked back out the window, your fingers still playing with the jeweled eye.

“Can I borrow your phone at some point tomorrow? I need to call someone just so everyone back home knows I'm okay. Don't want them to worry,” you said to him.

“Sure,” he said.

Arguing with you over that would seem strange. He'd just need to avoid that subject tomorrow.

He noticed when you yawned.

“Getting tired?” he asked.

“A little,” you said, laughing a little as you added, “this wasn't how I was expecting my night to go.”

“Same here.”

“I hope you decide to stop soon. I might not be up for it tonight if you're planning on continuing where we left off at the pool when we reach that motel.”

“That's fine. We'll have all day tomorrow, right?”

His words made you embarrassed again, and you shyly answered with a yes as you smiled to yourself.

So that was the plan, then. Drive as far as he could tonight, fuck your brains out tomorrow, then get away further before you figured things out. You would likely object, not liking the idea of being taken away from everything you'd ever known. But he was certain that after spending enough time with him, you'd prefer it. Your current life wasn't any good, but he was prepared for you to not understand that at first. And if he needed to tie you up and shove you into the trunk to keep you compliant, he could do that. Seemed like a pretty fool-proof plan.

You were yawning again.

“Get some sleep if you need to,” he said, “I'll wake you up when I find a place I like.”

You nodded. Soon after he saw you settling back into the seat and closing your eyes as you attempted to get some rest.

He liked the sight of you next to him, sitting in his clothes while you nodded off in his car. And when he turned his attention back to the empty highway, he was once again hit with the feeling like he was the only one in the world. A feeling that only came with seeing an area that was typically full of people seem completely abandoned.

But this time, though, he wasn't alone.

[angelamajiki]

Damn that Bully Dabi and Hawks fic was an amazing read! I love it when you write them full on bastard mode!

Pro Hero Bakugou sexually harassing his weak quirkless secretary who does her very best at her job. She's good at it but Bakugou always looks mad (read: sexually frustrated). High on success after a good rescue, he wants to celebrate....

OR

Cop Bakugou sees a pretty little thing outside a club. She looks sus so he decides she needs a pat down. Maybe he'll plant something to blackmail her into doing certain favors. Very bully, very bastard Bakugou.

PARINGS: Pro Hero! Bakugou x Secretary! Quirkless! AFAB! Reader

CW: yandere, dubcon/noncon, dirty talk, choking, cunnilingus, overstimulation, scumbage bakugou, use of the word rape, quirkless reader, size difference, age gap, death threats, sexual harrassment, bullying, mindbreak, masturbation, office sex

AN: I’ll probably write the cop Bakugo at some point too! For now, mind the tags and enjoy :)

They say to never meet your idols and in retrospect, you wished you would have listened.

Try as you might, it seemed like Mr. Dynamight was never satisfied with your work. Admittedly, you joined his agency as his office secretary based on having a crush on the pro, but you assumed his brash nature would calm down in an office setting. You did everything he asked, obediently followed his every word, which was all met with harsh glares and what you thought were dissatisfied grunts.

Surely you thought it wouldn't be about your being quirkless, but rumors were high strung in the office about the blonde’s feeling towards those without quirks. It would explain the harsh glares and judgment he passed on you despite your work effort.

The man even went as far as to ask for your personal phone number, only to leave scathing voicemails whenever you couldn't show up to work or miss out on work gatherings he put together. You couldn't help but flush at the thought of him missing your presence. Maybe you were just bad at reading his signals? Or maybe he was just hell-bent on bullying you more than the rest of the staff.

The job paid very well, so you couldn't exactly up and leave based on his behavior. However, you did notice how...handsy Mr. Dynamight has become with you. It was subtle at first, brushing shoulders in the hallways, letting his fingers ghost against yours when he handed you paperwork.

It soon escalated to always having a hand on your shoulder, holding your hips when he had to brush behind you, towering over you from behind your chair when you showed him something. You couldn't say that you weren't flattered, but his rough demeanor remained.

It started becoming uncomfortable when he made passes at you, making sure you were cornered and alone when he did.

“C’mon, am I really that fuckin’ intolerable that you can't get lunch with me, pipsqueak?”

You assumed that he was just messing with you, so you always turned him down with a flushed face and ran back to your desk, leaving him blue balled and more desperate by the day. There's no way a pro hero like him would actually be interested in someone quirkless and weak like yourself.

But that's the reason why he liked you anyway. So small, so weak, so obedient, so perfect for him to fuck up. God, if he didn't want just to rip your tiny pencil skirt to threads and spear you on his cock like no tomorrow. A pretty thing like yourself shouldn't be working. No, no, no. You should be at home, in his home in his bed with his ring on your finger. You belong to him, don't you see that?

Katsuki only ever gives you the time of day, not those other stupid bitches who crawl up his ass every morning trying to get a crumb of attention. And what do you do with his precious time? Waste it. Always whining about how you really shouldn't, that he shouldn't be seen with someone like you. As if he gives a fuck about what the media has to say.

He even checks up on you when you're not at work! Isn't he such a gentleman? Sure, he's a bit vulgar, but he's trying to show he cares. But if you want to act like a stuck-up bitch, then he’ll gladly treat you like one.

After a particularly tough fight with a villain, the blonde wanted nothing more than to use and abuse you to get some steam off his chest. It was late, but he prayed to whatever gods were out there that you were still in the office. He left you a voicemail for good measure, hoping that you would do what you always did best and stayed obedient for him.

It was locked up for the night, but he could see your office light on from the street. Perfect. Such a good girl for him. Little did he know that you stayed late quiet often.

You hadn't even seen his previous call come through; you were too busy listening to an old one with plenty of derogatory terms being spat your way. A hand shoved in your skirt, you couldn't help but finger yourself the sound of his voice calling you moronic for skipping out of work. Mr. Dynamight was your childhood crush after all, you had jerked off to plenty of interviews of him in the past. Sure, it was creepy but no one had to know. The older man was so big, so strong and handsome. You couldn't help but feel fuzzy from the voicemail, even if it was degrading you, it was for you alone.

Speak of the devil and he will appear.

“Well, shit. Whadda we have here, pipsqueak?”

A rough chuckle came from behind you as he pulled your desk chair out and swiveled towards him.

“Caught ya red-handed, huh? Who knew you were such a little slut for me.”

Taking the phone from your hand, he hung it up on the receiver and took your hand out of your panties. He snatched your fingers greedily in his mouth and sucked your wetness off of him.

“You know what, I’m feeling a bit hungry. And you taste like something in the vein of what I’m tryin’ to have for dinner.”

Katsuki devoured you in a hungry kiss, lifting you out of the chair and onto your desk. He tossed aside the papers messily and spread your legs to see your slick moistening your sheer tights and panties.

“Bend over and spread that fuckin’ pretty pussy for me, pipsqueak.”

You shook your head, already feeling humiliated enough by being caught with your pants down, literally.

“That wasn't a question, that was a command, you bratty bitch. What happened to your manners?”

God did his words stir something deep inside you. Waiting was no longer a priority; catching you like this was proof enough in his mind that you were just playing hard to get.

“You should consider yourself lucky that I want you to sit on my face, you know that? I have bitches trying to get on my dick every day, but it only gets hard for you, pipsqueak.”

“I-I thought you didn't like quirkless people!”

“It's all the more reason I want to be balls deep in your cunt right now. So weak and pathetic, it's fucking cute.”

You could feel yourself tighten around nothing just at his words. He was right, you were just a pathetic plaything for him. Not hesitating any longer, he ripped off your skirt and threw it behind the both of you. Your tights also got ripped to shreds, leaving you in your blouse and panties.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous.” He muttered, mostly to himself as he took your panties off and pocketed them. For later, he thought.

Katsuki didn't hesitate to spit on your already wet cunt before diving into his meal. Each stroke of his tongue sent fire straight to your core, each suckle of his lips drew a whimper from your mouth. Hips bucked into his mouth before he held them down, using just one hand to cover your torso. So small and petite for him, how cute would you be up against his massive form.

“M-Mr. Dynamight!”

“Heh, so fuckin’ cute. Call me Katsuki, sweet thing. Or daddy, if you're nasty like that.”

Your hips were held taught against his face, not allowing you to squirm or inch away from his searing tongue fucking your hole. He continued to ravage you with his mouth, pulling away only a few times to give your pussy a nice spank. Groaning into your cunt, he stroked himself at the same time.

Humiliation had dissolved into pleasure as he serviced you, tears springing in your eyes as he gripped his head tightly with your hands and thighs. Having already masturbated before getting caught, it didn't take long for him to make you see stars and roll your eyes into the back of your head.

“K-Katsuki, I’m cumming!” You shouted, squirting onto his tongue as your body shook around his head. Your fingers threaded deeply into his hair and tugged as he continued to work his tongue into your hole, riding out your orgasm.

He didn't stop, though.

“Too much, it's too much!”

“I’ll stop when I’m finished, little girl.”

You tried to push his head away, but he gripped your wrists from under your legs and had you pinned against his mouth, shaking and screaming from overstimulation. Once he brought you another good nut, he pulled away and gave your clit a kiss, chuckling when you jumped.

Standing up, he pushed his mask up to pull his back and took his rock-hard cock from his pants. He spat on your dripping hole once again before lining up his fat head with it.

Katsuki hissed as he sank himself into your cunt, holding your hips in place as you whined and squirmed under him, still overly sensitive. God, were you gripping him in all the right ways. Your legs around his waist, your hands on his forearms, and your cunt around his cock.

“Relax, pipsqueak, or I’ll end up breaking you.” He chuckled. “But you might like that, huh?”

Seeing your teary, fucked out face while teasing you? He nearly jizzed himself on the spot. But he had to hold out for you. A choked gasp was all you could respond with as he got right in your face, breath tickling your cheeks as he looked in your eyes.

“Such a dirty slut, getting off to the sound of my voice. It's better in person, isn't it?”

“D-Daddy!”

Was all you could whine as his thumb made his way to your clit, drawing slow, gently circles with his roughed-up finger.

“Oi, oi, oi, did I break ya already, pipsqueak? Y’know, you coulda just asked for my cock like a good girl if you were gonna get this drunk off it.”

His hips slowly drew back, almost pulling out all the way before slamming back in, earning a squeal from you.

“Or maybe you wanted me to take you by force? Show ya what the fuck happens to quirkless little girls who tease their fuckin’ man so much that he just has to come and take their little cunt to show ‘em who’s boss, eh?”

You couldn't help but tighten around him from his words, squirming under his hot breath as he started to grind his hips up into yours slowly.

“Good girl, letting daddy rape your cunt so willingly.”

Katsuki chuckled, sealing a hot kiss on your mouth while he gripped your throat. His hips began to piston in and out of your pussy, thick veins grinding against your spongy walls.

His brutal kisses swallowed your moans and tears while he squeezed your throat. His other thumb continued to swipe against your clit in fast motions, causing your to clamp down and flutter against his thick cock.

“Shoulda known you were a whore from the start, wearing those skirts that hugged ya in all the right places. Bending over and letting me touch you how I pleased, it's like you wanted this to happen.”

The pace of his thrust increased as he started to chase his orgasm, holding your throat and hips down to use you like the hole he knew you were. He growled and snarled into your mouth as he choked you, even more, watching the blood flood to your face.

“Yeah, baby, I've got your life in my hands now. If you won't be mine, I’ll fuckin’ kill you. Then nobody can have you.”

“Y-Yours! I’m yours!” You managed to gasp out, gripping his forearm and digging your nails into it, hoping he’ll let you up for air

“Damn straight, now cum for me, you quirkless little bitch.”

The haziness from the lack of air and the pleasure pooling in your gut sent you over the edge a third time, making you cry out his name as you came. Katsuki was right behind you, eyes screwed shut and practically foaming at the mouth as he came deep inside you, finally letting you breathe once he finished himself off.

You sputtered and coughed, desperate to fill your lungs with air as he pushed some stray hairs out of your face.

“Ya did good, pipsqueak.”

He praised, giving your ass a spank before pulling out and tossing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“You’re coming home with me, so don't worry about the mess.”

“By the way, you're fired.”

TAG LIST: @tomurasprincess @suzuki-violin-school @sightoru @alrunemara

[sluttyten]

sicheng, 10

Sicheng + “you’re mine. and i’ll make sure you don’t forget.”

“You’re mine, right?” Sicheng asks you one quiet night. He’d been asleep the last you checked, and you were playing with his hair as you sat up in bed watching TV.

“I didn’t know you were awake.” You brush your fingers over his cheek, and look down at him to find he’s already looking up at you. “And what are you talking about? Asking if I’m yours? Who else’s would I be? You are my boyfriend.”

Sicheng hums happily. “I was just dreaming.”

“What kind of dream?” You comb your fingers lightly through his hair. “A good one?”

Sicheng sits up, reaching up to clasp your hand in his against the side of his head. He turns his head to the side, brushing his lips against your wrist. He explains, “You were leaving me.”

“Well, I’m here, and I’m not planning to go anywhere.” You sigh gently as he continues kissing along your forearm. “Must’ve been a bad dream to make you all affectionate like this.”

His mouth skips over to your shoulder, tender. “Don’t like the thought of losing you.”

“Sicheng,” you twist your hold into his hair lightly, dragging his mouth up to yours. “What are you talking about?”

You’re not going anywhere. Even if he doesn’t understand the full extent of that, you don’t understand how he could think that you would leave him. You’re here. You’re in his bed. You’ve been with him for ages now, you’re in love with him. The only thing that makes this worry over your loyalty to him make sense is jealousy.

And now, as he moves over you, as you both slide down the bed so you’re lying on your back, you smile at him. “Was I leaving you for someone else in that bad dream?”

Sicheng scowls.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You laugh. “Who was it? One of the guys?”

You watch the green light of jealousy growing in his eyes. You prod him a little more, just wanting to see where you can push him.

“Oh,” you laugh again, “It was one of them, wasn’t it? Which one, I wonder? I mean, I’m close with Kun, so maybe he’s the one that would be able to—“

Sicheng crushes his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. “You’re mine,” he all but growls. “And I’ll make sure you don’t forget it.”

Sicheng has a thing for marking you up—living hickeys staining your skin, fingerprints bruised into your hips from holding too tight, raw red marks on your wrists and ankles from ropes that were just a bit too harsh on your skin, and the pretty drag of nails over your back or thighs or shoulders. He likes seeing his mark on you, and you like having them there, little reminders every time you look in the mirror, every time you feel the little twinge of sensitivity. Little reminders that he’s yours.

So the prick of his jealousy drives him to ravage you in the best way. His lips burning across your collarbones, chest, shoulders, over your breasts and ribs and your stomach.

“You’re mine,” he tells you when he comes back up for a kiss, and you cling to his hair, holding him there to taste his jealousy, rich on his tongue. “I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“You gonna tell them?” You ask him. “Or are you going to let them hear me? Hear how good you make me feel? I’ve overheard Kun, that time when we came home early, babe, and he could—“

Sicheng slaps his hand over your mouth. “Hush.”

You open your mouth, attempt to say something else, but then Sicheng reaches down and grabs your ass. “Mine, baby.”

He flips you over smoothly, dragging your ass up by your hips. You moan, rolling your ass back against him. Sicheng palms your ass, thumb dipping down in that crease, down to your pussy.

“You know no one else can make you feel as good as I make you feel, baby.” He plays with your pussy, massaging your ass, grinding against the back of your thigh where you can feel him growing harder and harder as you push back into his touch and do your best to not let him hear the needy moans you’re holding back, let him think he needs to give you more.

And it works because he does give you more.

Sicheng’s tip presses against your entrance beside his thumb, and he just stays like that, not moving, just teasing you with what you could have, and at last you break, at last you moan his name.

“That’s what I thought.” He sounds so filled with pride as you moan and attempt to twist around to look at him, but then his hands are on your hips with his bruising grip that you love to feel still the morning after, and he thrusts into you.

“Mine, you’re all mine. I don’t want you thinking about anyone else.” He leans forward to say the words directly into your ear. “When you feel my hands on your hips still tomorrow, and when the bruises from my lips linger in your skin for a week, you’re gonna think of me, baby, won’t you? Not Kun. Not Johnny. None of them. Just me.”

Each word, he punctuates with a deep thrust, the smack of skin on skin. He straightens up, giving himself a better angle to drive you wild.

You get off on the ripple of slight pain as he drags his nails from your hips down the sides of your thighs, as he starts fucking you with sharp snaps of his hips against your ass.

You reach under yourself to touch your clit, and your moans leave your lips in raspy breaths. Your body rocks forward on your knees with each thrust, and the headboard of the bed rattles against the wall, loud enough that if anyone else was home in the dorm tonight, they would definitely know what was going on. But it’s just you and Sicheng, just the way you like it.

Sicheng cums first, quicker than you expected, though probably driven there by his jealousy, the idea of leaving you marked up and dripping with his cum. He pulls halfway out, so when he draws back to sit on his ankles, his cum oozes out of your still desperate to be filled pussy.

“No, no,” you moan, clenching, trying to hold his load inside you.

“You want more? Want my cum in you, stuffing you full? Say it, baby. Say it and I’ll give you more.” Sicheng drags his fingers between your legs, collecting his cum. “Whose are you, baby girl?”

“I’m yours. Only yours.” It is something that was never really in doubt at all.

“That’s right,” Sicheng says brightly. “All mine. Now turn over for me.”

You fall into your side, twisting quickly into your back with your legs still spread for him. Sicheng fingers his cum back inside you, swirling his thumb against your clit while his fingers keep working his cum back into your needy pussy, and when he’s satisfied with that, he takes his fingers away, and fills you with his still erect cock again.

Your nails drag over his shoulders and back, surely marking him up in your own way, and he buries his head against the sensitive skin of your chest, sucking and biting. His hips clap against your ass, and your thighs and hips ache as he pushes your legs higher and farther apart so he can hit deeper and

You cum with a cry of his name, fingernails pricking his skin, and that sharp pain brings about his second orgasm. Your bodies keep moving together on auto, chasing after the sweet ecstasy of each other, until at last Sicheng slips out of you, and he falls to the side, trapping one of your legs beneath him.

“How was that?” He asks you, “Do you feel good? You did good, looked so pretty on my cock. Took me so well.” He strokes some of your hair back out of your face, kisses your cheek. “I just hate the idea of you not being mine. Please, don’t ever leave me.”

“I love you, and you have absolutely nothing to worry about, Sicheng.” You kiss him again, pressing against his chest, sliding your arm over him. “I am at my happiest when I’m with you. In every possible way, I’m happy, and I know that I belong with you because like you said, I’m yours, but you know what, you’re mine too. You’re like the other half of me, the stars to my sun, the light to my dark. You’re mine, too Dong Sicheng.”

“I’m yours.” He kisses you, and squeezes his arms around you, embracing you tightly to his chest. His heart beats against yours, his stomach and chest and legs are so close to your skin that there’s not a space in between.

You know in the morning your chest will be covered in bruises the shape of his mouth, and you know that you should really check out the scratches you left down his back, but for now you stay like this, tangled together in each other’s arms, hearts pounding and happy in the knowledge that you belong entirely to each other.

Requests are now closed! Thank you to everyone who sent these in, I’m just finishing the last drabble requests in my inbox!

[avenirdelight]

Something in Disguise | PART 4

John Stones

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“It’s cold, what are you doing out here?”

The deep voice literally made her jump on her feet. She turned around, getting a second mini heart attack when she saw a figure standing in the shadows between bushes. 

“Holy sh*t! You scared me!” she swore with her palm against her chest. “Don’t do that!”

It was John who had scared her, still in his England tracksuit like she was, both hands tucked into the jacket pockets because like he said, it was cold. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologised.

“What are you doing here?”

They were standing in a little garden just behind the hotel building. They had just gotten back to the hotel from Stadion Narodowy an hour ago, drawing the match one-one to Poland, and she’d wanted to go for a walk before bed. She’d accidentally found the garden and decided to spend some time there to clear her clouded and tired mind. But apparently John had found her and it felt like an intruder had broken into her little sanctuary, breaking the peace she was having.

“I… I was looking for you. Chilly and Mase said they saw you went out somewhere,” he explained. “What are you doing here?”

“Nothing. Just trying to get some air. I was— I was going to go back to my room, actually,” she said as she left her spot, suggesting that she was going to walk away. But John took a step to his left, blocking her access to the exit, preventing her from leaving.

“Nah… Stop avoiding me, please.”

She stopped just a few steps in front of him, a bit taken aback by his statement. Shaking her head, she said, “I’m not avoiding you.” But they both knew it was a complete lie.

John sighed, glancing up to the dark, starless sky. He looked gloomy. Maybe because he was tired or because there was something bugging his mind. It was probably the latter; somehow she could sense it.

“You’ve been running away from me for five days,” he muttered. “We’re going home tomorrow. I don’t want to go home with us being in a complete mess like this.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “A mess? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she tried to deny.

But John wasn’t having any of it. He shook his head ever so slightly, looking utterly frustrated. He was still upset that they had conceded a late goal in added time today, in a match he thought they should’ve won, and he didn’t think he had the energy to go the rough route she wanted to bring them through.

“Come on, I know we’re both tired, so let’s cut the rubbish,” he said firmly. His eyes, which were now filled with upset, had found hers again. “You want me to say it? I’ll say it. We are in a f*cking mess, me and you. We’ve been acting like children this whole time and I suggest that we stop.”

Her heart dropped upon his words. She’d initially wanted to fight John as she normally would, to argue everything he said. But to be honest, she was tired too and John was spitting facts, which to her surprise, didn’t actually make her upset. John’s suggestions to stop acting like children and cut all the rubbish didn’t all sound too crazy for her.

So she didn’t fight John this time. She stayed silent, folding her arms in front of her chest, trying to provide herself some warmth.

“Look, I know it’s all my fault,” John began. Both his face and his voice had softened up. “I stepped off on the wrong foot on the day we met and believe me, I regret it.”

“Really?” she asked, still sounding a bit cold and uninterested. She kept her face straight despite actually being so surprised that John had suddenly wanted to do The Talk. 

“Yes. I wish I wasn’t being rude to you. But I just broke up with my girlfriend that day, the day I met you, and I was rude to everybody.”

She snorted, her shoulders shook as she did. “It seems like you’re the expert on being rude.”

“Yeah,” John nodded in agreement, even though for some reason it hurt more that the insult came from her. “I know. I heard it a few times.” John sighed as he dropped his gaze to the ground. He took a moment, realising that his heart was pounding hard on his chest. Part of it was because it was cold, but mostly because he was so nervous about the things he had planned to say.

The big words were heavy at the tip of his tongue. John took a deep breath before he searched for her face again. He stared deep at her tired eyes who were looking back at him; his heart broke seeing the pain that filled them and he hated the fact that he was the one who caused it. It assured him that he just needed to let the words escape.

“I’m sorry,” John said with all sincerity that he could possibly convey through his voice. “I really am sorry. For everything.”

She couldn’t believe her ears. She stood there, speechless, staring at him in silence, as she felt her heartbeat racing.

She was astonished, more than anything. She was astonished that those words could come, sincerely, from John Stones. But unfortunately, the astonishment also came with hurt and disappointment.

Maybe it was a little bit shameless of her to think that John had hurt her more than she had possibly hurt him, only because he was the one who ‘started’ all of this. A little bit selfish of her to wish that John had done better when the fact was that she hadn’t really tried to be any better either.

But all this time she felt like she hadn’t had the power to repair the damage, bearing all the responsibilities on John’s shoulders. So it upset her that John had taken way too long to finally say the words, especially when she had always been expecting it.

“But you had months, John… You had way too many chances to say sorry.” The mixture of disappointment and confusion was clear in her voice.

“I know. I’ve always wanted to say sorry, but I always got too scared. I kept losing the courage,” he confessed. “But I’ve found it now.”

They fell into silence again as she avoided his gaze. John said they’re a mess, John said it’s all his fault, John broke up with his girlfriend, John said sorry — she tried to remind herself of the things John had said so far, because everything was too much to take; she was so overwhelmed. 

“I thought you hated me,” was all that she managed to say.

No. It was the complete opposite. John liked her. Ask Jordan, Kyle, Jack, Tyrone, Conor, Tripps, or the two Harrys about it. Those lads knew, since they were the ones who helped John to figure out his feelings and constantly lectured him about how poor he had always acted towards her, saying that his life would be much easier if he could just man up, acknowledge his feelings for her, and try to fix their relationship.

“Hate is a very strong word,” John objected. “I don’t hate you, never. I’ve always cared about you. I just don’t know how to show it.”

I’ve always cared about you. Her heart leaped at that. It was something that was supposed to be hard to believe, but she did believe it. At least she wanted to.

“Do you hate me?” John asked.

She shook her head almost instantly. She wasn’t even sure why she answered the question so surely when all this time, hate was the word she’d use once in a while to describe her feelings to John. But maybe she didn’t hate him. Even though most of the time she wanted to scream at John for his sarcastic remarks or punch him for his annoying little attitude, she never hated him.

“I don’t hate you, John. I…” The shrug and the slight frown showed that she was confused, unsure of how she should put her true feelings into words. “I guess… I’ve always wished that we weren’t like this.”

She stared down at her feet, at her carelessly tied shoelaces that were now threatening to break loose — she wanted to do that too, let her feelings break loose. She didn’t know how tonight she had gone from wanting to avoid John to wanting to tell him how she actually felt. It sounded like a bad idea, but something inside her told her to just do it.

“When we win, and all the boys come to me and give me a hug, I wish you would do that too. Especially you.” She couldn’t believe herself for letting those words out of her mouth, but she didn’t really want to stop herself. “When we lost and I tried to give the boys little consolation, I wish I could just come up to you and say how amazing you did. You always did good...”

John’s stomach did the most sickening twist and he could hear his heart thumping on his ears. Even twenty minutes ago when he brought his feet wandering the hotel trying to look for her, with nervousness building with each step he took, he’d still believed that she hated him. He just wanted to apologise, hoping that she would stop hating him; he wouldn’t have ever thought about hearing all these things from her.

“You can do that from now on,” John suggested, trying to keep himself calm and composed. A subtle smile reigned on his face.

“So what? We’re just gonna be friends now?”

John let out a breathy chuckle. “Friends isn’t exactly what I have in mind.”

“What is it, then?”

John took a step forward. Even though she looked a bit surprised, she didn’t budge, giving John the courage to take a few more steps until their bodies almost touched. 

Her face was so close. Her eyes were staring at his and the relief almost pained his chest — the relief of knowing that she was looking at him fondly. He couldn’t find hate in her eyes, no irritation or annoyance, only something warm and loving.

“Tell me if you don’t feel the way I feel for you,” John mumbled softly. Just like her, he was also extremely overwhelmed by the waves of emotions that kept washing over him.

She didn’t answer, only staring back at him. He could feel her heavy breaths; her lips quivered as she let out little huffs. He hoped that her heart was thumping as hard as his and for the exact same reason.

And when her gaze shifted into his lips, John understood that it was the sign.

It explained one thing, that she wanted him just like he wanted her.

So John did the thing he’d always wanted to do; the thing he’d always imagined doing, that always came up in his mind when he lied in bed on a lonely night, when he secretly observed her while she was working, or when she’d fallen asleep in his shoulder a few nights ago — to hold her face and kissed her.

The electric feeling that shot upon their bodies when their lips met was proof that the thing they had been feeling for each other was the exact opposite of hate. It was just something in disguise. Something beautiful. Attraction, affection, care, love, you choose the words.

She held onto John’s waist as she kissed him back, getting lightheaded because he was kissing her so passionately, yet so gentle. They weren’t holding back like they had always been doing; the desperation and the desire, it was all poured into the kiss. All they could feel was each other’s lips, and, God, she tasted so sweet, so John kissed her deeper. 

They were completely breathless after John pulled away and rested their heads together, After a few silent seconds, he stepped back, fixing his gaze on her face as he gently caressed her cheeks. He took his time admiring her pretty face, the face that always appeared in his dreams, and to be able to hold her close like he was doing right now felt like a dream to him.

“Say something,” she whispered.

John grinned as he tucked in some strands of hair behind her ears. The gesture made her blush.

“My name is John, I’m from Barnsley,” he said.

She giggled, shaking her head, and John’s chuckles followed right away. “Hi, John, it’s nice to know you,” she replied, also stating her name and where she came from. This was how they should’ve introduced themselves on their first meeting, friendly and full of smiles, but she didn’t mind that it only happened now.

“Nice to know you too,” John said, leaning closer again to give another peck on her lips. “And I really, really… Really, really like you.”

John could see her cheeks getting even more red. She couldn’t contain her giggles and felt like she was too shy from John looking at her so fondly. He’d never looked at her like that before, but she loved it and definitely could get used to it. 

“I really like you too. A lot,” she mumbled.

Their lips met again, she was the one who went for it this time. She kissed John softer, more gentle. He appreciated it by pulling her closer by her waist. Everything felt nice and warm, as they enjoyed the fuzzy feeling inside of them.

They’d been so stubborn, probably too scared for nothing, too busy denying how they truly felt and believing things that weren’t true. But now they’ve found courage to reveal the truth, to be honest to each other and to themselves. They wouldn’t fight their feelings this time. They’d let each other know about it and from now on, they would never let it hide in disguise.

—

well, now. how do i say this? i just want to say thank you so much for the support you've been giving "something in disguise", i don't think any of my stories had ever received love like this, and it just makes me so happy.

2300 words — i honestly don't consider this last part as perfect, but i tried my best and i hope it's good enough. they deserved their perfect ending and i hope this is it.

i hope you enjoyed that one<3

My Masterlist🤍

[chiliiscereal]

May I offer a prompt of how the turtles would be with a mom friendTM? you know the type I mean? like.... I think they might benefit from that kind of friend in the group lol (also I love your stories, your such a cool writer keep up the awesome work!)

Rottmnt headcanon: mom friend TM

And thanks so much!

Mom friends are severely underrated XD

——

-Okay these boys need a mom friend badly

-but that’s where you come in!

-as the mom friend you keep them safe in many ways

Donnie💜

-starting with this guy, he never really wanted a mom friend

-when April first brought you over he was cold

-didn’t even bother talking to you

-you were determined to befriend him, even though he left whenever you tried to talk to him

-you became comfortable with the turtles quickly and the others accepted your mom friend nature

-not Donnie though

-he didn’t hate you, sure, but you were too much

-you were too overbearing and too nervous for his safety!

-you’d make him wear a helmet when he used his jet pack 

-you made him put on SUNSCREEN whenever he went outside

-you told him to be careful when rewiring a project even!

-it’s like you wanted to ruin his bad boy image

-he hated it and wanted you to stop being so smothering

-…

-…until he realized that attention and moral support comes with the smothering

-the moment he realizes that he’s all for it

-he’s no longer hiding his inventions from you so you won’t bug him, but he’s seeking you out for your advice and praise

“Hey so I made this and… I don’t know…”

“Wow you built that? It’s awesome!” 

“Really? I mean, I know, I just wanted to show you that it was.”

-praise ain’t something this boy has

-have you SEEN how his brothers react to his ideas?

-he needs this

-with praise comes affection

-I’m talking homemade snacks and questions that his brothers never ask

-you’re there if he needs a cup of coffee or if he hasn’t eaten in a while or taken a nap

-“don, it’s been two days since you slept go to bed.”

-“*hissssss*”

-“I’ll make a cup of coffee for you after...?”

-“*hisses but less intense*”

-you may be good at making snacks and everything

-very good in facts

-but the questions are probably his favorite part

“Woah what’s that supposed to do?”

“Well it’s a device that’s meant to fix all the broken McDonald’s ice cream machines.”

“That’s amazing! What did you use to build it? How does it work?”

-you’re actually trying to learn about his work!

-you’re trying to learn about him!

-he loves it

-and he loves that you’re careful to

-it’s a nice change from his brothers

-you’re someone he can depend on

-doesn’t matter if it’s missions or just being a good friend

-and I mean it when I say depend

-you’re there when he needs help rewiring something or just to simply talk about his dumb dumb brothers

-honestly April isn’t even mad that Donnie stole one of her best friends

-she knows he needs this

-Donnie fully learned to trust you after the purple dragons mishap

-you told him they were untrustworthy but his heart was dead set on that satin jacket

-when he came back to the lair, late at night, with no satin jacket and a handful of his missing tech, he found you raising an eyebrow at him from where you had sat to wait for him

-he knew from then on to trust you and your opinions, even though his often got in the way

-you can often be found sitting on Donnies bed while he works, offering your company and comments

-Normally no one else is allowed in while he works but that’s just because they don’t have anything positive to provide

 Raph❤️ 

-Raph IS the mom friend

-your mom friend energy and his mom friend energy just work together so well together

-I’m talking planning missions together, figuring new ways to trick his brothers into being responsible, cleaning the dishes, and even making snacks together

-“so the mission is tomorrow right?”

-“yep! Should we bring apples with peanut butter or pretzels with hummus?”

-“well Donnie doesn’t like peanut butter, but Mikey does, so both?”

-“awesome! And you’ve got the water covered?”

-“dude I even have caprisuns packed so we’re ready!”

-the others find it to be too much with the two of you but Raph really appreciates the help

-especially during the pizza puff episode

-oh that part nearly set you on fire with worry

-Raph had never seen you that worked up

-you had a fan for Leo, a bowl for Mikey, and a bag of fruit snacks for Donnie

-Raph has to activate his supreme mom friend energy to get you to stop hovering over them

-that meant literally dragging you away from them so they could figure things out on their own

-he’s seen you be a mom friend to them all the time

-but never once for him

-you two were like... co mom friends working together to stop the younger irresponsible three

-until Raph got separated in the sewer

-oh man you were torn with worry

-you nearly destoryed the place looking for him

-and finding him all savage like that... ack that was enough to practically shatter your heart in two

-once he stopped trying to barbecue villains and destroy his brothers you took him to the lair and helped him calm down

-you even turned on a movie for the two of you so he could relax

-it was nice to have your best friend and partner in stopping crime back

-Raph of course was embarrassed because it’s HIS job to help everyone, not the other way around

-after much assurance you had him convinced that you didn’t mind

-he was grateful to have you and your help

-he just wished you didn’t worry quite so much

Leo 💙:

-this boy is soaking it all up from the start

-someone to compliment him?

-someone to help him out?

-someone to admire his achievements?

-oh he’s all for it

-he’s showing off skateboard stunts, he’s doing flips, and he’s randomly pulling you to him and creating a portal

-usually you end up somewhere sketchy but sometimes it works out

-you always have to be ready though

-one minute you’re walking to the projector room and the next you’re in New Jersey with a sheepish looking red slider

-his only problem is now he has to be more careful with skateboard tricks

-he’s fine with a helmet but when it comes to you hovering next to him while he’s going down the skate ramp...

-eh he’s not so fond of that

-praise?

-sure

-home made gifts and cards?

-always appreciated

-but you constantly trying to protect him from things he knew how to do?

-no

-just no

-now he only feels like he can skate if you’re not there or if he goes to a skate park without telling you

-you figure out quickly and still worry that he’ll mess up a flip

-doesn’t matter if you’re watching or not

-you’re the mom friend

-your job is to worry

-you promised that you’d stop worrying about him if he can back

-you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home!

-he agreed and you did your best to keep your promise

-...

-until he actually messed up a flip

-you don’t know WHAT he landed on but it must have been sharp because there was a LOT of blood

-maybe you thought there was a lot because you were so worried but still

-you hadn’t even been in the room but you heard his shout (and crash) and you came running

-oh he was lucky you carried gauze and everything in your bag because other wise they’d have to go buy some

-you chewed him out while patching him up, much to his displeasure

-you’re both sweet and sour about it

-“I’m fine! Look, nothing’s broken!”

-“I TOLD you that you could get hurt! I TOLD you it wasn’t safe! Why did you not listen- I’m sorry does that hurt? I’m sorry!”

-“yeah it does hurt-.”

-“than you should have listened to me!!”

-for a while he’s bitter that you were just waiting for him to mess up

-clearly you thought he was just a big clutz to you

-but after a while of him avoiding you and pouting you brought it up again

-“I’m not just waiting for you to fail you know. I just want you to be okay.”

-“that’s not what it feels like! You clearly don’t trust me!”

-“life happens, Leo! Doesn’t matter how skilled you are! You’re an amazing skater but sometimes mistakes are made!”

-ha that changed his tune quickly

-“you think I’m an amazing and skilled skater?

-you just rolled your eyes and left, not saying anything about his comment

-didn’t matter

-this boy is all smiles for the rest of the day

Mikey🧡:

-he was on board from the very start

-he’s got cuddles, piggy back rides, and his own art fan/critic

-lots of baking and cooking together

-maybe even drawing if he’s lucky

-only problem?

-you don’t trust him to go out on his own

-even if it’s just to grab a video game from the store or pick up pizza

-“I’m just going down the block!”

-“what if someone sees you?”

-“I’ll be careful!”

-“just let me go with you.”

-“no! I can do this on my own!”

-you’re always offering to give him a ride or tag along just because you don’t want anything to happen to him

-that means, of course, sneaking out

-not for a long time, just enough to get some air

-but that also means you’re staying up late waiting for him to come back

-he’s your buddy!

-you can’t let anything happen to him!

-he didn’t know about it until he found you cashed out on the couch with the lamp still on

-normally you gave him an excuse about why you were still up, such as a late night snack or a movie

-but your phone and the tv were both off

-he decided to think nothing of it until he noticed that you were grumpier in the mornings

-he didn’t want his actions to affect you so he started coming back earlier

-even texting you and telling you he was fine

-you two talked and set up a deal

-he could go out by himself and you wouldn’t stay up late waiting for him as long as you had his location on your phone

-it was easier for both you from then on