#Putting this in small text just in case they don’t want their fics breaking containment

[bat-anon]

Hey so uh if you guys want some tender Nuts and Volts fics, you should check out Starry_Amaryllis (formerly Chaotic_lesbianstringworm) on AO3.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Fix You

Pairing: angsty!soft!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Words: 4173

Summary: Bucky has been working hard at getting over the trauma that came from being the Winter Soldier, and you do your best to help him through it. But a particularly painful memory almost breaks him.

Warnings: ANGST (I’m so sorry y’all), explicit language, explicit sexual content (oral sex (F receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex), soft!broken!Bucky, fluffy ending, TW: this fic contains implications of animal cruelty in a character’s past. It is extremely vague and non-specific but I will put a warning in the text itself if you still would like to read but this particular type of thing upsets you. Please be mindful of it my soft babies!! SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: This is my entry to the Happy Hoelentine’s Day gift exchange hosted by the absolutely fabulous @chrissquares​, @drabblewithfrannybarnes and @amythedvdhoarder​. My giftee was @bucky-the-thigh-slayer happy v-day sweetie! 😘

Soo, apparently, I cannot just write a sprinkling of angst, I have to write cut your heart out of your chest and watch it beat in front of your face angst. This fic made me cry while writing it so if you are a big softie, you might want to skip this one. Don’t worry, I gave everyone a nice, fluffy, soft ending to soothe the pain!

Happy Hoelentine’s y’all! Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!

dividers are made by the lovely @chrissquares

not my GIF

You weren’t sure what had initially roused you from sleep. Maybe it was the fact that you were used to Bucky’s frame being draped over you, smothering you with his body heat. Whatever had woken you at first, the sound of shattering glass snapped you from your dazed state immediately.

You flew out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom. The light was leaking from underneath the door and when you wrenched it open, you swore under your breath.

Bucky was seated on the floor by the tub, his head in his hands as sobs wracked his chest. The mirror over the sink was smashed, pieces of reflective glass scattered all over the counter and across the floor.

You ignored it, not even noticing as you cut the bottoms of your feet while making your way to him. You knelt beside him and drew him to you, tucking his head under your chin as you ran your hands over his back, trying to calm him down.

“I’m here, Buck.” You murmured as you pressed your lips to his hair. His breathing was coming in ragged gasps as he leaned into you, and you could tell he was still upset. “Do you want to talk about it, honey?”

He just shook his head as another sob ripped out of him, his fingers wrapping in your sleep shirt.

You knew this was all part of the process. Bucky had been working with Bruce and his psychiatrist for 6 months now on identifying and moving past his repressed memories, but damn if it didn’t break you heart every time a new one popped up. This one must have been especially painful, he hadn’t had a breakdown like this in months.

“Sweetie, I’m gonna call Bruce, ok?” He was still a mess, even with you there, and it made you worried.

“No, don’t leave me.” He looked up at you desperately as he leaned against your shoulder, his eyes a startling blue from his tears as he pleaded with you.

“Shit, Bucky.” God, you fucking hated seeing him like this. You felt so helpless. “I can call from here. FRIDAY? Let Banner know we need him, stat.”

“Will do, Y/N.” The AI chirped back at you.

You reached your arm to the sink and turned it on, running a washcloth under the warm water before bringing it back to rest against his forehead.

“Y/N? Bucky? It’s me, Bruce.” You heard Banner call from the front door.

“Yeah, we’re in the bathroom.” You called. Your shoulder was soaked with snot and tears as Bucky continued weeping against you.

“Jesus, what happened?” Bruce hissed when he found you, picking his was through the broken glass as he knelt to examine Bucky, opening his medical case.

“I dunno Bruce, I woke up and found him like this.” You did your best to straighten Bucky up as Bruce took his pulse before pulling back to assemble his otoscope.

“Ok, Barnes, I’m gonna give you a sedative, buddy.” Bruce murmured as he dug in his case again, bringing out a vial and syringe. “I called his doctor when I heard from you and she’s on her way, but she was in Chicago for a conference, so she won’t be in until later this morning. She gave me the ok to calm him down for now.”

You just nodded as you stroked Bucky’s hair, doing your best to distract him as Bruce wound the tourniquet around his arm before plunging in the needle. He released the band before pushing down the plunger, and you felt Bucky relax against you almost immediately.

“I hate this so much, Bruce. I just want to be able to do something for him.”

“You’re doing it, Y/N. I don’t think his recovery would be going so well if he didn’t have you.” He looked down at your feet and winced. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“What? Oh, fuck.” Now that Bucky wasn’t occupying your attention, the slices on your feet and knees were throbbing.

“I don’t think you need any stitches, but I’m gonna use some skin glue to keep these from opening up repeatedly.” He muttered, rinsing the cuts with a betadine solution before patting them dry with some gauze.

“Thanks Bruce. Can you help me get him back to the bed?” You asked as he finished his work, throwing a towel over the broken glass and shoving it out of the way.

“Sure.” You each put one of his arms over your shoulders and hauled him to his feet, shuffling awkwardly back to the bedroom. “Dr. Laurent should be here around 10, if you could get him to the med center around then?”

“Of course Bruce, thank you so much.”

He just waved you off as he left, closing the door gently behind him. You changed into a new t-shirt and climbed back into bed, curling yourself around Bucky as you tried to fall back asleep, failing miserably.

  It had been two weeks since Bucky’s breakdown. His nightmares had gotten better, but you could tell he was still upset about things. He was barely talking to you, and he hadn’t initiated sex during that whole period. You could maybe coax some small talk out of him over meals, but you could tell he was avoiding talking to you about what he remembered. All you wanted to do was comfort him and he wasn’t letting you.

Dr. Laurent assured you that they were working through it, but that this particular memory was harder to move past. All you wanted to do was comfort him, but he wouldn’t let you close.

The two of you were sitting together in silence, you were going over some field reports with your feet resting in Bucky’s lap as he read some trash mystery novel that you would usually tease him about. Your phone rang from the coffee table and you stretched to pick it up, grinning when you saw it was your sister.

“Hey Frankie!” You said cheerily as you picked up. “What’s going on?”

Bucky smiled to himself sadly as he listened to you chat with your sister. He felt so guilty about what he was doing to you. You were amazing, and kind, but he was so worried that if he let you all the way in, you’d see what a monster he was and leave him.

“Oh my god, a puppy!?” You squealed, and Bucky felt all the blood drain from his face. “Send me all the pictures! We’ll have to come visit soon and meet him.”

Bucky stood up and walked towards the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water and drinking it down greedily.

“Hey, Frankie, can I call you back tomorrow? Great, love you!” You had picked up on Buck’s change in demeanor and followed after him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” He muttered, filling his glass again and taking a sip.

You let out a deep sigh at his attempt to dodge. You knew you weren’t supposed to push him, but watching him withdraw from you like this was killing you.

“Bucky, please talk to me.” You pleaded, fighting the urge to go to him and wrap your arms around him, drawing all his pain into yourself as you held him tight.

He shook his head at you as he set his glass down on the counter, avoiding making eye contact. “I can’t.”

You took in a sharp breath at the crack in his voice and your resolve broke. You took three steps forward and pressed your body to his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and bringin his forehead down to lean against yours.

“It’s ok, I’m not going anywhere.” You murmured, bringing up one hand to run through his hair, trying your best to soothe him as you watched tears leak from his eyes.

“Promise?”

“Fuck, of course I promise.” You murmured before pressing your lips softly to his. “Bucky, I’m not going to leave you. I love you.”

He buried his face in your neck and let out a deep sigh, inhaling your scent and letting the warm comfort of your body relax him. You kept stroking his back and hair, waiting for him to speak.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

“When I first woke up,” He started after several minutes of silence, still not looking at you. “They would never let me outside. It was almost a year before I saw sunlight. They eventually let me out once they were sure the brainwashing had done its job, but only for a little while. There was…”

He choked on his words and you made soft soothing sounds against his cheek, doing your best to not hold your breath as he opened up to you, worried you were going to spook him like a baby deer.

“There was this tiny stray mutt I found on the compound one day. It was hiding in a little hole in the wall with an injured paw, scared of everything. I managed to sneak out some of my rations the next day for him, and did the same thing for the next week. He wouldn’t take the food from me directly, but I would leave it for him, and it would all be gone when I came back.

“It took a few weeks before he would take the food from my hand, and a couple more before he would let me pet him. Seeing that little guy was the best part of my day. The only break I had from the fighting and the torture. Sometimes he’d crawl into my lap and curl up, and those were the days I thought about making a run for it.” Bucky finally looked at you, giving you a sad smile as he pressed his forehead to yours again before screwing his eyes shut. “I named him Vladik.

“I don’t know why it took them so long to figure out he was there. The guards were supposed to be watching my every move. I wasn’t supposed to have anything for myself, no happiness or solace. And that was all he was. Just a harmless little friend. But the Soldat couldn’t have any friends.

“When the doctor in charge of my programming found out, he told me to bring him the dog, and he… he made me…”

⚠️END TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

He started sobbing before he could finish, and you felt tears running down your own cheeks as you held him tightly, the two of you sinking to the floor as Bucky wept in your arms. You curled yourself around him, wishing you could do something to just take all of that pain from him.

It was an hour before either of you moved. You were stiff from leaning against the counter for so long, but until Bucky started to straighten up, you didn’t even notice. He drew you up after him and you moaned as you unfolded yourself, your legs tingling as blood rushed back into them.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” He whispered against your hair with a heavy sigh, drawing you into another deep embrace. “Fuck, I’m exhausted.”

“I love you too, honey.” You murmured, pressing your lips to his forehead. “I’ll be right there.”

You left him to strip out of his clothes as you headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind you as you splashed cold water on your face, trying to keep yourself from having a meltdown.

You were so relieved he had finally opened up to you. But every fiber of your being just wanted to fix all of this, and the fact that you couldn’t was killing you. You choked back a sob as you bent over the sink, bile rising in your throat. It took you a few minutes to fully calm down, but you got your emotions under control with some deep breathing.

You splashed your face a few more times before heading back out to the bedroom. Bucky was still up, sitting on the edge of the bed as he waited for you. He gave you a small smile as you walked toward him, wrapping his arms around your middle and nuzzling his face against your stomach.  You moaned as he started to lift your shirt, pressing his lips to your skin softly as his fingers traveled to brush against your breast, squeezing it gently.

He held you tightly and turned his body until you were laying on the bed underneath him. He crawled up your torso slowly until his face was hovering above yours. His vibranium palm cupped your cheek softly as he gazed into your eyes before bending to kiss you, his mouth needy against yours as he bit at your lips before pressing his tongue to yours, drawing a whine from your throat.

Bucky ran his hand down your throat before his fingers started working to unbutton your blouse. He made quick work of it and his mouth moved to your neck as he slid it down your shoulders. You gasped and moved your hands to wind in his hair as he unclasped your bra and wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking softly and swirling his tongue around it until it was peaked and sensitive. Your cunt clenched around nothing as he moved to your other nipple, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to move down your body.

His tongue dipped into your navel as he worked at undoing your jeans, pulling them down your legs swiftly along with your panties before diving between your legs.

He had missed this. Those soft sounds of want you made were a panacea for his wounds, soothing his heart as he moved his lips over your sex, his tongue running through your folds as he lapped up your arousal. You arched into his mouth when he pressed against your clit, your hands digging into his hair as his hands gripped your thighs, keeping you spread open for him.

He moaned against you as you wriggled beneath him, your back arching and relaxing as he brought you closer to your release. You grip on his hair was bordering on painful as you tightened it, and he relished your loss of control as you fought to close your thighs around his head and press him even closer.

“Mmm, Bucky!” You moaned as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking softly. He finally released your legs and you wrapped them around his neck as he pushed two metal fingers into you, making you yelp.

He scissored his fingers inside you, stretching your canal as he drew obscene squelches from deep within you. He loved the feel of your pussy clenching and fluttering around him, trying to draw his fingers even deeper inside you as he edged you towards your climax.

When he curled them against that sweet, secret spot within you, you lost it. Your heels duck into his shoulders and your back arched you off the bed violently as you clamped down on his fingers. You screamed as your release flowed into his mouth, making him moan as it covered his chin. He licked his lips as he straightened above you, savoring the taste of you on his tongue. It tasted like home.

He gazed down at you lovingly as he removed his boxers, kicking them away before bending to kiss you deeply. Bucky kept his mouth on yours as he crawled onto the bed, tucking his knees under your thighs as he pressed one palm against the small of your back, drawing you up to straddle his lap.

“I love you so fucking much.” He whispered against your lips, running his fingertips through your hair before his tongue was invading your mouth, curling against and tangling with yours as he stole all the breath from your lungs. His metal hand curved over your ass as he ground his hips into you, running his cock through your slick folds. “I need to hear you say it, please doll.”

“God, Bucky. I love you.” You panted as he positioned himself at your entrance, making you whine as he breached you with just his tip. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he pulled you onto him and you hissed through your teeth as you stretched around his length, relishing in the sting you felt each time he entered you.

“Never leave me.” He pleaded as his hips started moving, his thrusts slow and sensuous as he stared deeply into your eyes, watching your face contort with pleasure as you lost yourself in the feeling of being filled with him.

“Never.” You murmured as he buried his face against your neck. “Fuck, baby.”

Your head rolled back as he picked up the pace just barely, his pubic bone grinding against your clit with each thrust and bringing you close to your edge. He nuzzled himself between your breasts and mouthed against your soft slopes gently as you tightened one hand around the back of his neck.

One particularly forceful drive had you falling backwards with a gasp. You managed to catch yourself on one arm and you pressed your toes against the mattress on either side of his hips, doing your best to keep your balance as your pussy clenched around him.

“Fuck, right there.” You whispered, your nails digging into his neck.

He brushed his teeth against your nipple and you almost collapsed against the bed, but Bucky wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly to him as your body spasmed uncontrollably, quivering in his grasp as your pussy fluttered and your release seeped out of you, soaking both of your thighs.

“You feel so good doll.” He murmured against your chest as he kept fucking into you, still moving in rich, deep plunges that made it hard for you to breathe. “So tight and warm. I fucking lose myself in this pussy.”

All you could do was whine as you wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped his neck tightly. You took in a sharp breath when he suddenly lifted himself off his knees and pushed even deeper into you, his cock hitting a new spot inside you that had you seeing stars. He gripped his hands tightly at the small of your back as he ground against you.

He hit you at just the right spot and you came again, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his hair as your body vibrated against his. He inhaled your scent with a moan as he fell forward, catching himself on his vibranium hand before he collapsed on top of you.

You kept your body wrapped tightly around his as he held you in that position with one arm, carrying all of your weight as his hips started moving violently, slapping against the back of your thighs as soft wet sounds came from between the two of you. It only took a few thrusts before you were cumming again, screaming against Bucky’s neck as the coil in your stomach snapped, your muscles finally giving out as you rode the wave of your pleasure, your body rolling underneath him as you released his neck and he let you sink back onto the bed, your arms falling above your head and your feet coming to rest on either side of his knees.

Bucky kept one arm hooked under the small of your back, arching your body at a beautiful angle as his hips started to stutter, his cock twitching inside of you as he neared his own end.

“Gimme one more doll.” He whispered, mesmerized by the way your tits bounced with each thrust of his hips, and the way your face had that blissful, fucked out look as you bit your lip and screwed your eyes shut.

He ground his hips in a circle with his next thrust and smiled as your body tried to curl off the bed. You sobbed as you came, crying his name as your thighs squeezed his hips and your cunt milked his cock. He collapsed on top of you as he came right behind you, his spend shooting into harshly, painting your canal in thick white ropes as his hips stilled.

You held him to you tightly, refusing to let him go as the two of you drifted off to sleep. All you wanted was to rest with him inside you, and he needed to feel you around him, to let you know that you were his home, his haven against all the pain of his past. You smiled as you felt his breath grow deep with sleep, your hand resting on his back as your own slumber took you.

  Bucky made a lot of progress over the next few weeks. Telling you had lifted a weight from his shoulders that he didn’t realize he was carrying. His sleep was still interrupted by nightmares occasionally, but every time he woke up to find you next to him was like a balm for his soul.

He was finally starting to feel truly happy, and that made you happy. Dr. Laurent had finally given the ok for him to start going on missions again, and that was great, but he really found fulfillment at home with you, and the best part of his day was when he walked through the front door to find you waiting for him.

You were excited for Valentine’s Day. It felt like the first holiday you could really enjoy as a couple as he had made so much progress. You were thankful that Steve had kept him occupied all day, giving you a chance to work on your present for him. He was out for a run in the rain right now as you put the final touches on the meal, reviewing the recipe a final time as you set the table, shrugging to yourself and lighting the candles.

You almost dropped your match when you heard him open the front door, cursing as you narrowly avoided setting the tablecloth on fire.

“In here baby!” You called as he came inside, shaking himself from the rain. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“Aww, doll, this looks… is that aspic?” He asked, one eyebrow cocked as he eyed the meal you had set out for him.

“Sure is!” You said with a grin as you eyed the brown, gelatinous entrée, doing your best to tamp down your nausea. “Steve said it was your favorite back in the day, so I decided to surprise you.”

“Steve?” He asked, a grin spreading over his face as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You asked Rogers what to get me for Valentine’s Day?”

You studied the look on his face and looked back at the meal, considering things.

“That motherfucker.” You said as he broke down, laughing hysterically. “I’m going to murder that giant.”

“I can’t believe you thought I would actually like this!” He said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I dunno, the 30s were a weird time!” You cursed yourself in your mind for being so gullible. “Well shit, I wasted a whole day. I’m ordering Chinese.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself doll, it’s the thought that counts.” He said, giving you a mock pout before wrapping his arms around you and kissing your hair. You yelped when you felt something move in his hoody.

“What the fuck, Barnes?” You screeched as his pocket squirmed, something inside it making a tiny squeaking sound.

“Uhh, don’t be mad.” He said sheepishly as he tucked his hand into his pocket and drew out a tiny, white kitten who was screaming bloody murder. “I found her in a ditch when I was on my run, and it didn’t seem like her mother was anywhere nearby. I didn’t want to just leave her out there.”

“Oh my fucking god, Bucky!” You reached out and he handed her to you. You wrapped your hands around her loosely and cradled her against her chest. “We need a heating pad.”

“What?” He asked confused for a second.

“She’s barely a week old honey, she can’t regulate her own body temperature, go get my heating pad from the bathroom.”

“So, we’re keeping her?” He asked, a grin spreading over his face as he rushed into the bathroom.

“Of course we’re keeping her Barnes.” You scoffed at him. “FRIDAY, we need kitten milk replacer as soon as possible, and specialty feeding bottles for newborns. And get a vet here too.”

“On it, Y/N. There’s a house call veterinarian that can be here in one hour, and the rest of your supplies should arrive within 30 minutes.”

“Thanks FRIDAY.” You were making soft cooing noises at the baby as Bucky came back into the room with the heating pad, and he practically groaned at the smile you gave him.

“Happy Valentine’s day, doll.” He murmured as he kissed your hair and wrapped one arm around you, handing you the heating pad.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Buck.” You whispered back at him. “What should we name her?”

“What do you think of Alpine?”

Tags!

@buckysnumberonegirl​ @slothspaghettiwrites​ @captain-asguard ​ @starlightcrystalline​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @quxxnxfhxll​ @bonkywobble​ @chrisevanscardigan ​ @chubbybuckydumpling​ @StanAllStarks @blackestpinkworld​ @fistmebuckyskywalker​  @wandering-spiritash h​ @khadineberry​ @shutupstevie @muzzyandbusy​ @slytheriin2002 02​ @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl ​ @isysen en​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @stargazingfangirl18 ​ @jack-skellingtons-stuff @chrissquares

[crackedoutwalnut]

Never Quite Free (Natasha x Reader)

Summary: Natasha grows concerned after you start ignoring her and decides to check on you.

!TW WARNINGS: Implied sexual assault, PTSD, and panic attacks! (lots of fluff near the end to make up for it i promise)

A/N: just a vent fic,,, as a treat. The song referenced in the fic is Never Quite Free by The Mountain Goats, in case you want to listen to it for context though you don't have to.

--

It's all good to learn that right outside your window There's only friendly fields and open roads And you'll sleep better when you think You've stepped back from the brink And found some peace inside yourself Laid down your heavy load It gets all right to dream at night Believe in solid skies and slate blue earth below But when you see him you'll know

For the longest time, going out into the world was like maneuvering across a field of landmines. The bombs could be set off by nearly anything, from minute details that had latched themselves to the back of your mind to glaring reminders that were almost impossible to ignore. Anything and everything that reminded you of him had seeped its way into the cracks in your brain, leaving irreparable stains and water damage in its wake. From the smell of cedar and pine aftershave to the brassy sound of a jazz trumpet on a passing radio, these reminders were minuscule as thumbtacks, and yet they felt like railroad spikes being hammered into your chest and skull.

In the past, you would bury yourself in work or drink yourself nearly to death to escape his ever-present grasp on your mind. Your life had been filled with you shoveling meaningless noise into your routine in attempts to block out the alarm that always seemed a pin trigger away from sounding in your head. Then, you met Natasha. You learned that she knew over seven languages and almost exclusively cussed in Russian when she was pissed enough. You memorized her favorite shows and books and how she snored like a lawnmower when she laid on her left side- a fact she vehemently denied. Natasha Romanov was caring, smart, strong, and oh so protective.

It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand And you'll breathe easier just knowing that the worst is all behind you And the waves that tossed the raft all night have set you on dry land It gets okay to praise the day Believe in sheltering skies and stable earth beneath

These little bits of information filled your mind and heart with endearment and love, thoroughly pushing the smell of cedar aftershave and rot to the far back of your mind. And that was where he stayed for the longest time. For a whole two years, you filled your days with movie dates, forehead kisses, and late-night cuddles. She introduced you to her friends, Steve Rogers, Carol Danvers, Wanda Maximoff; you even befriended Tony Stark- though Natasha never explicitly refers to him as a friend. Everything was going so well for the first time since before you met him. But, like a cockroach, your past is not so easily killed.

But hear his breath come through his teeth,

Walk by faith Tell no one what you've seen

You were at a local coffee shop when you noticed him. He was sitting at the table adjacent to yours, scrolling through his laptop, briefcase at his side. When you beheld him, it was as if your muscles were turning to concrete slabs. They were dragging you down, below the faded wooden floorboards, below the concrete foundation, until you were choking on dirt and rocks. It took you nearly five minutes to realize it was not him. However, him or not, the damage was done. Because you had seen his well-kempt mustache and graying sideburns, had seen his eyes the color of a lethal tundra. You could have sworn you felt those eyes watch you as you rushed out of the café and into the crowded streets.

From that day on, he was back. He visited you in sleep and trailed you all throughout work—a hefty shadow. However, it was not until you were in bed with Natasha that it came to its tipping point.

Your fiancée, having noticed your peculiar attitude, had decided to surprise you with a night of candles and wine. Not wanting her to be more concerned than she already was, you played along. You forced yourself to reciprocate every kiss and caress despite the acid in your throat and the timpani in your chest. Eventually, Natasha swept you off your feet into a bridal style carry and led you into her bedroom. Gently setting you on the bed, she quickly straddled your hips. Leaning down, she cupped your cheeks and pulled you into a heated kiss. You swallowed down bile and half-heartedly opened your mouth to allow her tongue space to explore. She groaned and tore off her shirt as she pulled away from you.

"God, you're so sexy," she murmured, grinding her hips further against your abdomen. Natasha grabbed at your shirt, pulling it off your torso before chucking it across the room. You felt your throat tighten as your upper body was exposed to the elements. Your fiancée set about yanking off your sweatpants, murmuring bits of praise under her breath as she did so. Her gentle lithe hands seemed to grown more masculine and rough the longer they touched your bare skin. Her body morphed into the familiar form of a naked man. His sickeningly familiar graying mustache and coarse chest hair set flares of frigid panic through your body. He was here, he was here, hewasherehewashere.

Your body convulsed and kicked out at your assailant; flashes of his rough hands forcing your legs apart fueled the strength behind your attacks as you lunged to your feet. You shoved him off of you with a borderline unhinged snarl.

"Get the fuck away from me, Castor!" You screamed before hurriedly shoving on your clothes and sprinting out the door of the apartment. He was following you. You could hear his heavy footsteps thudding behind you. Your thighs burned from the sudden exercise, and the roaring in your ears drowned out your surroundings. You shoved your way into the elevator, nearly punching the first-floor button with your fist. Sweat dripped down the nape of your neck as you struggled to suck in breaths of air. Clutching your chest, you allowed your knees to collapse.

When the elevator slid open, you shot to your feet and ran through the lobby, out into the cool night. You clumsily pushed people aside, his voice clawing through your ear canal. You wildly waved down a taxi and slid into the back. Your voice was as flimsy as tissue paper as you gave the driver your address.

When you got home, you slid all three locks into place and snapped your curtains shut. You huddled under your blanket and slowly succumbed to a sleepless night.

--

Natasha was many things, but a worrier was not one of them. Why should she spend all her time fretting when she could just get up and solve the damn problem herself? However, after three days of complete radio silence on your end, she was sorely tempted to break into your apartment. That night, you had rushed out of her apartment as if the Devil himself had been at your heels. The look in your eyes had been that of a wounded animal. Natasha felt her stomach clench with anxiety as she stared down at her phone. 37 texts, 10 calls, 10 voicemails, and not a single message answered. You were always a punctual texter, which only made her worry worsen.

Natasha shoved her phone back in her back pocket and took a long sip of her coffee. What the hell could have caused you to run out of her apartment mid-sex? Not to mention, who the hell was Castor? Natasha finished off her coffee and set her red and black spider mug in the sink. The cup had been a 6-month anniversary gift, and she made sure to drink out of it every chance she got. After cleaning up the last of her breakfast, Natasha pulled out her phone once more and typed out another message.

Nat: darling I've tried giving you space but its been 3 days and I'm worried. I'm coming over.

Natasha moved to put the device away; however, after a second, she reconsidered it and unlocked it once more.

Nat: I love you <3

Pushing the phone into her pocket, she rushed out the door. When Natasha arrived at your apartment door, she immediately pulled out her phone once more. Nothing. She huffed a shaky breath and pulled out her copy of the apartment key. You had given it to her after you almost burnt down your apartment trying to cook for their date that night. She had to rush over to your apartment to clean up the damage done by the small grease fire and cook you both last-minute spaghetti.

She twisted the key in the lock and quietly pushed the door open. The apartment felt akin to a tomb. The curtains were drawn, and all the lights were off. Dirty dishes were piled up Tetris style in and around the sink, not to mention the empty takeout containers strewn throughout the living room and dining table. The TV was quietly playing It Chapter 2, yet you were nowhere in sight.

Worry continued to grip the assassin's chest as she called out, "Y/n, kotyonok are you here?" Being cautious of the numerous fast-food containers and clothing items thrown about, Natasha made her way towards your bedroom door. She hesitated for a moment before steeling her nerves and carefully knocking on your door. For a moment, she heard nothing, only the faint sound of Pennywise's voice coming from the living room. Then, just as she turned the knob to open the door, she heard whimpering. Her heart ramped up to a gallop as she quickly opened the door to your bedroom.

Natasha was certain she had seen war zone's tidier than this. Clothes covered nearly every inch of the bedroom, mattress, and wardrobe. Not to mention the numerous crumpled tissues and fallen picture frames. However, the state of your room was hardly her first concern because in the center of it all, huddled in shaking ball, was you. Painful sobs were rasping from your lips as you burrowed your face further into your knees. Your hair was tangled and greasy, and you were wearing one of Natasha's sweaters with a food-stained pair of boxer shorts.

The assassin felt sorely tempted to sprint across the rooms and scoop you into her arms. Instead, she went for the safer route, which was carefully wading through the mess over to your side of the bed. Tutting quietly, Natasha swallowed the urge to cry alongside you as she quietly cleared her throat. "Mon trésor, can you hear me?" she whispered, setting a hand next to your own, cautious not to make contact.

Instead of a relieved smile or a tired 'yes' like Natasha had expected, your entire body flinched away as if you had been punched. Your eyes snapped open as you scrambled across the bed, looking around hysterically. "Castor?" you called out, eyes wild with panic.

Natasha furrowed her brows and backed away from you. "Y/n it's me, Nat. I'm not here to hurt you; I just needed to see if you were okay."

Slowly, your eyes shone with recognition. Your body, however, remained as taught as before as you studied your fiancée carefully as if she was a trick or a mirage. Natasha felt her heart fracture slightly at the display of fear. "Nat?" Your voice was quiet and raspy; if she had not seen your mouth move, she would not have registered that you were speaking.

"Yes, kotyonok, it's me."

You furrowed your brows and brought your knees back up to your chest. "Wha-what're you doing here?" You asked, your voice slurred and shaky from the sobs racking your body.

Natasha carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, "I have been so worried about you. After you ran out on me a few days ago, I have been trying to check to see if you are okay."

Your face crumbled once more as you buried your face in your knees, "I-I'm," you hiccup, "Sorry, Nat."

Natasha tutted dotingly and slid back so that she sat beside you, still cautious not to touch. "Hey, hey, it's okay, darling. You're okay; just breathe for me. Can you do that, sweetie?"

You inhaled quick stuttering breathe, which quickly dissolved into hyperventilating. You clutched at your hair and squeezed your eyes shut.

Your fiancée watched with a heartbroken expression, "You're okay, you're okay, just keep trying. Can I touch you?" You nodded shakily as she pulled you onto her lap. Gently, she pulled your fists from your hair and replaced them with her own. She stroked your knotted locks and quietly cooed sweet nothings into your ear. She guided your fist to rest atop her chest as she whispered, "Copy my breathing okay, mon trésor?" Sucking in exaggerated breaths, she held her hand atop your own to keep it in place. After a few tries, your breathing eventually settled, and you let out a long whimpery sigh.

It's all good to learn that from right here the view goes on forever And you'll never want for comfort and you'll never be alone See the sunset turning red let all be quiet in your head And look about, all the stars are coming out They shine like steel swords Wish me well where I go But when you see me you'll know

Natasha smiled and kissed the top of your head, "You're doing so well, my love. Nothings going to get you while I'm here, I promise."

You burrowed further into her lap and placed your head atop her chest, letting the sound of her steady heartbeat soothe you into a lull. The two of you sat there for what seemed like eons as you soaked in the feeling of safety and warmth. Natasha hummed quietly, placing chaste kisses on the crown of your head every once in a while.

Sucking in a breath, you spoke, "He was a family friend." Natasha's humming stopped as she looked down at you. "His name was Castor Davids, and my dad met him at work. He was nice at first, sort of like a goofy rich uncle. He would always buy me new toys and books. He would even take me out for ice cream. Even when I got into fights with my parents, I knew I could always talk to him when I was upset. But then..." you gulped, your voice breaking. Natasha continued stroking your hair. "But then one day, he was babysitting me while my parents were out at a baby shower. H-he..." Your words broke off into a sob, and your fiancée quickly shushed you.

"You're safe; you're here with me. No one can hurt you, I promise. Just relax, darling. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that you're safe now." Eventually, after a few more minutes of comforting words and protective hugs, the phantom hands that had been grasping at you for days disappeared.

You burrowed your head further into her chest and huffed, " 'm sorry I ran out on you the other night. I shoulda texted."

Natasha chuckled humorlessly, "Darling, that is the least of my worries. What I am worried about, however, is the last time you had an actual healthy dinner." You looked down at your lap sheepishly and shrugged. Natasha playfully pinched your side and untangled herself from your hold. You whined at the loss of contact and looked up at her accusingly. "I am going to make you a proper dinner, and we are going to sit down and watch stupid TV shows."

You huffed, "Can we watch House Hunters?"

Natasha sighed and nodded, "Fine, only because I love you, though." You grinned and slid out of bed. Your fiancée inspected you with a grimace, "First, we're going to take a shower."

--

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@midnight-lestrange

[amazingmsme]

Well if You Really Don’t Like Him...

AN: Here’s that fic about Godot flirting with Phoenix just to get at Edgeworth. This was seriously SO much fun to write! Ugh I love all these dorky ass lawyers, I need more content. So here you go, have some jealous Edgeworth, flustered Wright, & a very flirty Godot, all served to you on a silver platter!

Godot sat in the prosecutions office, reading over some old case transcripts. Detective Gumshoe was mulling about the room, browsing some of the books on the shelf. Godot snickered to himself, drawing Dick's attention.

"Something funny Prosecutor?" he asked with a curious smile. It was rare that he heard the other man laugh, so it warmed his heart to hear the sound.

"Yeah, actually. I can't help but notice... Is something going on between Edgeworth and Trite?" he asked, holding a page closer as he inspected the words. "I mean, it's hard to pick up a person's tone just from text, but I can't imagine another way to interpret this," he mused.

"Who? Oh you mean Wright! Yeah, we've all been wondering the same thing. He and Prosecutor Edgeworth have more chemistry than a chemical reaction!"

Godot smiled and shook his head. "Your analogy is weaker than decaf, but your point still stands."

"Hey!" Gumshoe shouted defensively, pouting at the other man's words.

"So I'm not crazy? Do they actually like each other? Because I can't possibly find any other meaning behind, "Court is no place for such fanciful stories. But if you drop by my office, I'd be more than willing to... indulge you?" Did Miles actually say this shit?" he asked, barely containing his laughter. One hand pressed against his forehead, fingers curling in the white locks as his shoulders shook with his chuckles.

"Heh, yeah I remember that. Poor Nick blushed redder than a ripe tomato!" he exclaimed, smiling at the memory.

"Hm, so Trite embarrasses easily? That's interesting," he hummed.

Detective Gumshoe shrugged. "Yeah, but he seems to get flustered a lot more when Edgeworth's involved," he explained. He found the book he'd been searching for, and bid him ado with a nod and quick wave. Diego was left pondering the new information, a sly smirk forming on his face.

The next day he strode into Edgeworth's office with even more swagger than usual. He sat on the corner of his desk, crossing one leg over the other. He slurped his coffee loudly to gain the other's attention. Miles sighed and glanced up at him.

"May I help you?"

"Who me? Nah, I just came in here to chat," he said, but the grin on his face told of an underlying motive.

"Please, you of all people are the last to want to chat while working. What's really going on?" he asked, cutting to the chase. Godot shrugged.

"A little birdie told me you might have feelings for Trite."

Miles stiffened, but other than that showed no outward emotions. "His name is Wright, and that's preposterous. I merely admire his skill in court and respect him as a peer. You would be wise to do the same."

"Really? 'Cause Dick sure thinks there's something more to it," Diego said. Edgeworth snorted out a puff of air in lieu of a laugh.

"And you believed him? Gumshoe is a well intentioned man, but he can let his imagination get the better of him."

"Transcripts don't lie bud. And I can smell the truth like a fresh pot of coffee." Miles rolled his eyes.

"Of course you can," he said sarcastically. "Now if you're done reciting your little fairytales, I'd love to get back to work," he said, opening a thick binder and smacking Godot's leg with the front half as he opened it. He stood, getting the hint.

"You know, that reminds me of something you said to Trite in court," he spoke as he began to pace the room. He piqued his interest, so he continued. "Something about fanciful stories, and him stopping by your office to "indulge" you," he said using air quotes.

Miles abruptly stood, slamming his hand on the desk. "That's out of context!"

Godot shrugged, swirling the coffee in his cup. "Trust me, the context doesn't make it sound any better. I'm surprised the two of you ever manage to reach a verdict, what with all the flirting going on."

"It's not flirting! It's merely playful bickering between childhood friends, nothing more," he reasoned.

"Is that what you call it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and stuffing his free hand in his pocket. Edgeworth practically growled at him, shooting a harsh glare his way.

"What exactly are getting at Godot?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"So you really don't like Trite?"

"For the last time, his name is Phoenix Wright. The fact that you don't refer to him as such is wildly immature and petty."

Godot smirked in triumph. "You sure are defensive of him."

"Of course I am; he's my friend and a talented attorney who, might I remind you, proved my innocence and convicted my father's true murderer. So I won't stand idly by while you blatantly disrespect him," he snapped. He turned his back to him, busying himself with straightening stacks of paperwork.

"You misinterpret my intentions," he said, holding up his hand placatingly. Edgeworth looked over his shoulder, watching as he sipped his coffee.

"Then enlighten me."

"I admit I've been giving him a hard time. But most guys do that when they have a crush," he bluffed. Miles whipped around to face him.

"Ha! You're lying through your teeth, I know how much you despise him," he said, seeing right through the lie.

"Do you? Or was that just a front I put up to hide my feelings?" Edgeworth paused, considering the possibility.

"I don't know what your angle is, but you should stop while you're ahead. If you're only doing this to get at me, then I'm telling you right now it will all be in vein. But please, don't bring Phoenix into this if it's only a farce. He's had his heart broken before, and I won't allow you to needlessly toy with his emotions."

"Aw, how noble. Truly a knight in shining armor. But if you aren't in love with him, why should you care?"

Edgeworth recoiled, a pink tint coloring his cheeks at the L-word. "B-because he's my friend!"

Godot smiled softly, staring at his reflection in the dark liquid inside his cup. "I wondered what had happened to the hard ass prosecutor I knew. What made you go soft. But then I met Mr. Wright," he said, complying with his wishes and using his actual name.

"Don't act like I was someone to admire. I had lost myself and forgot what justice really meant. He merely opened my eyes," he explained.

"Now that's sounds like a love confession if I've ever heard one. You two go together like coffee and cream: he sweetened the dark bitterness you're known for and made you more palatable."

Edgeworth straightened to his full height, hair falling in front of his face. "Excuse me? I refuse to be insulted in my own office!"

"Well that was hardly an insult."

"You just called me bitter an insinuated that I was intolerable," he deadpanned.

"Heh, I did, didn't I? Well I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Whatever. I request that you leave my office so that I may get back to work," he said, sitting back down at his desk.

Godot snorted in amusement. "That's the kindest way I've ever been told to get the hell out."

"Now."

"Alright, alright." He turned to leave, but paused at the door. Miles sighed deeply.

"What now?"

"If you really don't like him, then you shouldn't mind if I flirt with him, right?" he asked smugly. Edgeworth's head snapped up with a gasp. He made to stand, a protest already on the tip of his tongue, but Diego shut the door before he could say anything.

Miles was left in his office, seething with a quiet rage. He couldn't go after him, that would only prove his point. So he did the only thing he could think to do. He pulled out his phone and texted Franziska.

be mean to Godot

A few minutes later, his phone dinged with her reply.

lol ok. Why?

because we're mad at him >:(

what did that fool do now?

He thought about his answer carefully before sending it.

he's going to break Wright's heart

No, he couldn't send that.

he accused me of being in love with Wright

He shook his head, deleting the message and starting over.

nothing. Just let him know you're angry

haha got it. I'll whip his mask clean off his face! >:)

He chuckled softly at his sister's antics.

maybe not that mean

By the next day, Miles had mostly forgotten about his conversation with Godot. That was until he walked into the courthouse and was greeted by his stupid smug face.

"There you are Edgey boy!" he greeted enthusiastically, coffee sloshing in its mug.

"Don't call me that."

"Right, only Phoenix can call you that," he teased. Miles allowed a smirk to grace his features.

"Or Larry. He was the one who came up with the nickname after all." Godot hummed as he walked beside him. For a moment, the only sound was their shoes clacking in unison on the linoleum tiles. Then they spotted Phoenix and Maya come out of a debriefing room. Miles shot Godot a glare.

"Don't you dare," he threatened.

"Oh I dare," he said, trotting away and over to his target. Phoenix spotted him coming his way and quickly turned around, grabbing Maya's arm and speed walking away. He kept his head down and eyes focused on the ground. Maya let out a small "ope" sound as he dragged her along. She looked over her shoulder to see what made Nick turn so abruptly down the hall.

"Uuuh Nick? Godot's jogging right towards us," she whispered.

"I know," he said, keeping his voice down.

"Well what did you do?" she asked before plastering on a wide smile to hide her confusion when the man approached suddenly. "Heeeey!" she waved, coming off as overly friendly in an attempt to hide the fact they were just talking about him.

"Hey Trite, whatcha been up to?" he asked, sidling up next to him. He slung his arm around his shoulders and pressed into his side. Phoenix made a small noise of shock, body going rigid.

"Umm, I was in a briefing," he said, casting a glance towards Maya. She merely shrugged.

"That's nice. So what's this case about?" he asked, letting genuine curiosity seep into his voice. Edgeworth was grumbling to himself as he stormed after him. He needed to intervene somehow.

Phoenix was slightly taken aback by the question. "Oh! It's nothing too exciting, just an assault charge."

Godot clicked his tongue, tipping his mug in his direction. "That's a real shame, your best work is on murder cases."

Wright blinked in surprise. "Really?" he asked skeptically. "I thought you said that I was a sloppy rookie who didn't deserve to be where I am today," he sassed, crossing his arms and looking him up and down.

He winced slightly, hearing his own words said back to him. He needed to try to smooth this over to seem sincere.

"Oooooo," Maya said in typical childish fashion, like when another student is called to the principal's office. She shut herself up when Godot shot her a look. A small, guilty smile was still on her face however.

Edgeworth had been able to hear most of the conversation and was eager to hear the prosecutor dig himself out of that one.

"My opinion of you is starting to change amigo," he said smoothly, taking a sip. Phoenix's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm truly shocked to hear you admit that you've changed your mind," Miles spoke snidely. He purposefully stood closer to Phoenix, subtly separating the two. Godot noticed and smirked.

"What can I say? It's called growing as a person," he snarked back. Godot reached out and grabbed Edgeworth by the shoulder, then had the gall to shove him out of the way. He leaned into Wright's personal space, posture lax with one hand in his pocket. Phoenix had a nervous grin on his face, cheeks growing pink.

"Aaah I'm- glad for the personal development," he said, arching his back a bit to lean away. He gave a quick and confused glance towards Miles, as if to say "what the hell's going on?"

"Didn't anyone ever teach you about personal space? I'm sure he would prefer not to have to smell your coffee breath," he scolded, and this time it was Godot's turn to blush from embarrassment.

Maya snorted and giggled softly, and Phoenix had to plaster his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. His cheeks were puffed up with air as he struggled not to chuckle along. The sight was utterly adorable, and Miles felt pride in the fact that he made him laugh.

Godot's lip twitched in an angry sneer as he straightened his tie. "For your information, my breath is perfectly fine. I make sure to always have gum on me," he explained. Maya and Phoenix shared a look somewhere between amusement and annoyance at their exchange.

Godot looked over at Phoenix and flashed his most dazzling smile. "After all, you never know when you'll need fresh breath."

He let out a quiet gasp, eyes shifting down to his mouth for a split second. Godot pulled out his pack of gum, flicking it open with his thumb. "Care for a piece?"

"Oh! I-um- sure," he stuttered, reaching out and taking one.

"Sweet! Can I have some?" Maya asked, batting her eyes. Godot looked down at her, deflating slightly as he remembered she was there. "Oh, yeah I guess," his voice didn't have near the same tone as when he was addressing Phoenix. She either didn't notice or didn't care, snatching two pieces of gum. She offered one to Edgeworth, which he accepted with a soft smile.

"Thank you Maya. I think I'll save mine for later. Like you said, I never know when I'll need a fresh mouth," he said, looking at Phoenix as he finished the sentence.

He smiled and looked down at the floor as his cheeks got redder.

Maya didn't know what was going on exactly, but she could definitely sense the awkward tension between Edgeworth and Godot. And it was clear that Phoenix was caught in the middle of their exchange.

"Um, I'm just gonna pick Pearl up from the play room," she excused herself, heading to the courthouse's daycare.

"Oh good. Maybe Edgey would like to go with you," he volunteered the other to leave. Phoenix quirked a brow hearing the nickname leave Godot's mouth. "Since when did you start calling him that?" He only received a shrug and a crooked grin in return.

"No offense Maya but I would not. Wright and I have plans for lunch," he bluffed, making said plans up on the spot.

"We do?" Phoenix asked, brows furrowing. Then his eyes widened as he caught on. "Oh yeah we do!" He stood next to Edgeworth, his shoulders releasing visible tension as he did so.

"Oh really? Where are you eating?"

They responded in unison, but with different answers.

"Jack's Burger Shack."

"Sashimi Temple."

Godot smirked, catching them in their lie. "Well? Which is it?"

"We haven't decided," Wright said, looking at Miles for "confirmation."

"Right. I'm good with whatever you want," he said, smiling at Phoenix.

"How can you tell when he's agreeing with you and when he's just saying your name?" Godot teased. He couldn't help but giggle at the question.

"Heh, I don't know, I guess I've just learned how to tell the difference," he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a half smile on his face and eyes squinted shut. Godot couldn't help but notice the strain on the fabric of his suit as he stretched his arm.

"Whoa, you been workin' out Trite?" he asked and before he could answer, he reached out and squeezed his bicep. His face flushed at the contact.

"Oh y-yeah, you noticed? Glad to see it's starting to pay off," he said, admiring his own arms. He flexed again, striking a new pose.

"Mind if I start calling you espresso? 'Cause you sure can pack a punch," Godot all but purred. Edgeworth couldn't believe that Phoenix was falling victim to his sleazy charm. Who was he kidding, if someone as attractive as Godot hit on him, he'd cave just as quickly. He had to refrain from sneering.

"Ha! If you want I guess you could. But don't start calling me short," he said pointedly, but with just enough playfulness to still be considered flirty. Miles's eyes were still transfixed on Wright's admittedly large biceps. Godot saw the opening and took the shot.

He snapped his fingers right in his face to gain his attention. H blinked and flinched, attention drawn to his smug face. "Earth to Edgeworth. You copy?" He scoffed and shoved the hand out of his face. Phoenix nudged him gently.

"If you wanted to feel them too you could've just said so," he teased.

"That's not-" but his denial died on his tongue when he was met with both of their knowing looks. He turned his head away but still reached out to feel his arm. There was no way he was passing up that opportunity.

"Hard as a rock, huh?" Phoenix asked and yes, he was totally fishing for compliments.

"I was going to say like sculpted marble," he said smoothly. Miles couldn't let Godot be the only one flirting with him. Said man only smirked wider, seeing as he was proven right. Regardless what Edgeworth said after this, it would be undeniable that he had feelings for the defense attorney.

"So, you got room for one more or are you dining at a table for two?" he questioned, subtly inviting himself. Edgeworth was ready to shoot down the request, but Wright beat him to it.

"Uh, sure you can join." Curse his kind nature.

"Sweet. Not as sweet as you, coffee creamer," he let his voice drop an octave, flashing another dazzling smile. Phoenix giggled and hid his face in one hand.

"Oho man, that was like, really stupid."

"Made you laugh, didn't I?" he teased, propping his elbow on his shoulder as they walked. Miles walked behind them and watched the prosecutor like a hawk, gritting his teeth all the while. He was relieved when they got to the parking lot.

"Wright, would you be a dear and ride with me? I'd like your opinion on this case I'm working on," he requested. He immediately perked up and walked over, leaving Diego's side.

"Sure, I'd love to! It'll be nice to give my legs a break from all the pedaling," he joked, walking over to his car and pulled the door handle. When it didn't open he frowned and tried again. And again. He kept pulling, making the annoying clicking noise each time it failed to open the door. "Miiiiiles," he whined.

He shook his head with a fond smile, chuckling softly. He unlocked the car just as Phoenix tugged again. He wasn't expecting that and stumbled a few steps backwards. Godot, never one to miss an opportunity, purposefully knocked his foot out from under him, just so he could catch him in a dip.

Edgeworth gasped as he saw him fall, clenching his fist as he watched Godot swiftly catch him like some kind of techno prince charming. Phoenix let out a small yelp as he fell, gripping onto his vest as he was caught.

His mouth was slightly agape as he stared up at Godot. He wore a sly yet heart-melting grin. Phoenix stuttered out a quiet thank you.

"It was no problem. Be sure to watch your footing next time though," he said, clicking his tongue. The ace attorney felt his heartbeat quicken and butterflies fluttered inside his stomach. Edgeworth's eye twitched in anger and he cleared his throat.

"If my eyes serve me well, which they do, it was you who tripped him," Miles called him out. Godot shrugged guiltily and helped steady him on his feet.

"What can I say? It was just too tempting, just like how you look in that suit," he went on to compliment him. Phoenix's eyes widen, cheeks flushed. He ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"M-me?" Godot nodded.

"Mhmm. It really brings out your eyes. Not to mention how nicely tailored it is." He bit his lip, looking him up and down. "You're about as enticing as a hot steaming cub o' joe," he flirted, laying it on thick. Wright's face turned beat red and he looked at the ground, flattered giggles leaving his lips. He tugged on the collar of his shirt. Edgeworth was by his side in an instant, ushering him closer to the car.

"Where you off to in such a hurry?" he taunted.

"Jack's Burgers," he practically growled, walking around the front of his car. He plopped in the driver's seat as Phoenix closed his door, waving at Godot as they drove off.

Edgeworth's jaw was set and he gripped the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. Phoenix placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he relaxed slightly.

"Miles what's wrong? You've been in a bad mood since I've seen you. Is it the case? Is that why you've been so grumpy?" he asked, concern clearly written on his face.

He sighed deeply. He should probably be honest with him- or rather halfway honest. He couldn't possibly tell him the whole truth.

"Actually I lied about that. I simply wanted to get away from him." Phoenix snorted in amusement.

"What's this? The great Miles Edgeworth lying? This must be serious," he chuckled, bumping their shoulders together.

He seemed to relax now that it was just the two of them. "He was really starting to get on my nerves."

"Yeah I noticed. He seemed to be in a lot better mood today, especially towards me. I don't know, but I can't help but think he's after something," he pondered aloud. Miles glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

"He's a top prosecutor, he's always after something."

"You're not," Phoenix said gently. Edgeworth took a breath to steady himself.

"How do you know we're not after the same thing?" They reached a red light and he turned to look at him.

"I'd ask what it is, but I have a feeling you won't tell me," he smirked.

"You're right, as usual."

"Well it is my name after all," he joked. Miles chuckled and shook his head.

"That was awful. Why did I laugh?"

"Because you love me," he teased. Oh if only he knew how accurate that statement was.

"Heh, I suppose I do somewhat."

"Nah you adore me. Admit it, I'm your favorite person," he goaded, leaning into his personal space. He even went as far as to lay his head on his shoulder.

"You're tied with Franziska," he admits.

"Wow, that's high praise." He hummed in agreement.

When they arrived at the diner, Godot was already waiting for them. Miles rolled his eyes as  he spotted him leaning against the wall near the entrance. And where the hell did he find a toothpick? One leg was propped against the brick, arms folded across his chest and fuck he looked cool. If Edgeworth were a lesser man, he'd want to slap him.

"There you are! For a hot second there I thought you might've changed your mind and tried to ditch me," he taunted.

Miles wore a bored expression. "Don't tempt me."

"Hey, what happened to the Edgeworth that was in the car? All relaxed and smiley?" Phoenix asked, even poking his cheek to try and break the stern facade. He couldn't help but grin at the playful gesture.

"Ah, probably 'cause I'm here," Godot waved him off.

"Yes, that's precisely it," he answered with a rude smirk. Phoenix gasped.

"Miles!" he scolded.

"No no, it's completely my fault. I barged into his office and gave him a rude awakening of sorts. Please, allow me to make it up to you. Edgey."

He scoffed and Godot wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. "Lunch, my treat." When Miles turned to look at him, they were practically nose to nose. And Godot was so smug, it was infuriatingly amusing. He cracked a smile and shook his head.

"I'd be a fool to pass up a free lunch."

"Atta boy!" he cheered, pulling Phoenix closer in the same manner.

They were seated at a booth in a corner. Godot motioned with a bow for Phoenix to sit first. He chuckled and slid into the seat. Before Miles could make it to the seat next to him, Godot sat down in the empty spot in one fluid movement. He shot Edgeworth a victorious smirk.

Wright picked up on the tension, drumming a rhythm on the table and whistling quietly. He tried to make small talk.

"Sooo Godot. Saying you like coffee would be an understatement. I'm curious, if you could make your own coffee, what would you call it?"

He perked up at the question, scratching the stubble on his chin. "I couldn't just make one coffee, I'd have a whole brand. It would be an assortment of the darkest roasts and combination blends out there. I think our signature brew would be called Laser Beans. Ya get it? Like laser beams but it's coffee beans," he rambled on about his imaginary coffee business.

"Please, you do not have to explain the elementary concept of your pun," Miles quipped. Just for that, Godot scooted closer to Wright.

"Another popular blend: number 162, the Phoenix. Strong and sweet, with an unexpected fiery kick that rises from the grounds. Just what you need on those long, rough days." Phoenix gulped, staring at the red lines of his mask. Godot cocked his head, looking over at a furious Edgeworth.

"Wouldn't you agree Miles?"

"Yes- I mean no- I mean- I'm not much of a coffee person," he fumbled over his words. He jerked his head to the side, focusing on a crack in the wall.

"I think he's just too embarrassed to admit it," he whispered loudly, making eye contact with Miles as he said it.

"Heh, yeah you got him good with that one," Phoenix agreed.

"Ngh- who's side are you on anyways?" he asked defensively.

"My side," he said, clearly proud of himself. Miles softened at those words, unable to stay annoyed at him.

"Of course you are."

The waiter came and took their drink orders before leaving them be.

"I'm surprised you got water. I was expecting coffee," Phoenix mused.

"It's important to stay adequately hydrated," he explained, browsing through the menu.

"With how much you drink it, I would've thought you'd drop dead asleep without it," Edgeworth teased, looking at his own menu.

"Nah, I could drink eight cups and go to sleep right after. I'm used to the caffeine," he said casually.

"Wait, then what do you do when you need to stay up? Drink a whole pot?" Phoenix asked, bumping their shoulders together. He turned to him with his most charming smile.

"Well, instead of coffee keeping me awake, I could just have you," he said in a sultry voice. Phoenix flushed a dark crimson with an embarrassed, lopsided grin on his face as his eyes shifted between Godot and Miles. He was rendered speechless, the only sound he was able to make was a drawn out "uuh."

Godot grunted in pain when Edgeworth swiftly kicked his shin.

"Quite forward, aren't we?" he growled.

"You know I am," he said, snapping his fingers at him.

"And has your vulgar cockiness ever gotten you far?" he countered.

"Sure it does. I always make it to home base," he teased. Miles was relieved when the waiter came to set their drinks down, disrupting the conversation. They asked if they were ready to order yet, but Godot had spent so much time flirting with Phoenix, that he'd barely looked at the menu. And Miles was so busy keeping him in line that he didn't know what to order either. So they asked for a few extra minutes.

"You should really consider using your time wisely," Edgeworth advised. Godot snorted and mumbled something about him doing the same.

"I think I'm gonna have the Jack classic, what about you?" Phoenix asked, looking across the table at Miles.

"I think I'll have the same," he said, offering a warm smile.

Godot's smirk grew. "I'm leaning more towards the thhhick patty," he said, drawing out the word. Phoenix arched a brow and chuckled.

"You really put a lot of emphasis on the word thick there," he teased.

"What can I say? I like a lot of meat on my buns," he leaned closer, placing a hand on Wright's knee and squeezed gently. Phoenix giggled and scooted away in the seat.

"Hey, watch it. I'm ticklish," he admitted. Godot grinned like a shark.

"Oh Trite, don't you know that's not something you admit?" he teased, repeating the motion. Phoenix barked out a laugh, pushing the hand away playfully. Miles was glaring daggers at them and grit his teeth. He was the picture of jealousy.

When Wright moved his hand away, Godot purposefully interlocked their fingers so that they were holding hands. Edgeworth let out an angry huff and held the menu up to block his view. Or maybe to prevent them from seeing the sneer on his face. The world is cruel however, and Godot is even crueler. Which is exactly why he grabbed the top of the menu and pulled it down to meet his eyes directly.

"Thought you said you knew what to order. Why're you hiding from us?" he asked, elbows propped on the table as he leaned forward.

"I... I'm not! I simply thought I saw someone I don't particularly like and didn't want them to see me. But looking at them now I realize my mistake," he easily lied.

"Yeah, you and I have made a lot of enemies," Godot agreed. He looked between Wright and Edgeworth. "At first I thought you two were. But now that I've gotten to know you both a little more, I realize that couldn't be farther from the truth." As much as he loved riling Miles up, his ultimate goal was to make him admit his feelings for the other.

They both flushed a pale pink, looking away. After the waiter took their orders, Phoenix excused himself to the bathroom. Godot was smiling smugly as he watched him leave.

"It's times like these that I'm grateful for my visor. It would be a real shame if I wasn't able to watch that ass leave, wouldn't you agree?" he asked, looking at him with a shit eating grin. Miles slammed a fist on the table in anger.

He spoke low so as to not cause a scene, but his jaw was still clenched. "I order you to stop this at once."

"What, the flirting? You said you didn't like him, so why should it bother you?" he asked innocently.

"You speak out of your ass, you use crude and childish humor, you're completely insincere, your pick up lines are cheesy and all coffee related, and you're invading his personal space constantly!" he scolded quietly. Godot shrugged.

"He sure doesn't seem to mind. Maybe he likes the attention. People tend to enjoy my company," he bragged.

"You have no intentions other than making me angry," he pointed out.

"And it's working," he boasted. Miles's mouth gaped open as he thought of a response.

"So what if it is? I could just as easily be angry due to the fact that he's my friend, and you're nothing more than some- some playboy who's trying to prove a point!"

"Aww you think I'm a playboy? That's my new favorite compliment," he said, resting his chin on his hands.

Edgeworth raised an unamused brow. "It really shouldn't be. You're classier than that, Diego."

He snorted in amusement. "Even after all those things you said about me?" Miles rolled his eyes fondly.

"Yes, even after all that. So be the bigger man and put an end to this," he reasoned.

"Depends. You got a crush on Wright?"

"I still don't see how that's any of your business."

He shrugged, halfway triumphant. "Hey, that's better than the harsh no I got earlier. You'll admit it sooner or later."

"Not to you I won't," he growled. Edgeworth fiddled with his napkin and laid it across his lap neatly.

"To be honest, I don't care if you admit it to me."

He cocked his head, looking at him skeptically. "You don't?"

Godot shook his head. "No. I just want you to admit it to Trite."

Edgeworth's eyes widened and he recoiled slightly at those words. "Are you insane? I can't possibly tell him that!"

"Tell me what?" Phoenix asked as he walked up. Miles stuttered out an answer.

"Oh! Um, I-I'll tell you later. Now isn't... a good time."

Phoenix gave him a look as he sat down next to him. "You sure you're okay? You're acting, I don't know, weird."

Edgeworth was going to come up with something to say to that, but Godot beat him to it. He held his hands up in surrender. "You got us. There's no reason to lie to him any more Edgey. Truth is, he's planning you a surprise party."

Phoenix's brows shot up. "Wow really? But it's not for another two months or so."

"Yeah well, you know him. Always so organized, and he thinks three steps ahead. Sorry about ruining the surprise," Godot apologized for wrecking the fake party.

Wright rubbed the back of his neck and offered a shy smile. "Don't be! Knowing me, I'll probably forget about it by then. So-"

He was cut off by Godot's phone ringing. "Sorry, one sec." He checked the caller ID, brows furrowing. "That's weird, it's Gumshoe. Hope everything's okay." He answered the call with a flick of his wrist, holding the phone up to his ear. "Hey Dick, everything cool?"

"IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT COOL!" Gumshoe screamed into the speaker. Godot winced and held the phone away from his ear. Edgeworth and Wright shared a look of slight concern.

"Is everything okay?" Phoenix asked quietly. Godot nodded and waved a hand as if to say "all good."

"Hey keep your voice down will you? You're about to burst my eardrum," he said with a small chuckle.

"NO I WILL NOT! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GETTING BETWEEN PHOENIX AND EDGEWORTH LIKE THAT?" Both men in question went stiff as a board, faces turning red.

Godot paled as he was chewed out. "Uuh hey this really isn't the time-"

"I DIDN'T TELL YOU THEY HAD THE HOTS FOR EACH OTHER JUST SO YOU COULD SWOOP IN AN' TRY TO STEAL WRIGHT AWAY LIKE THAT!"

Godot offered them an embarrassed grin. "Uh, can you excuse me?" They both refused to meet his gaze and just hummed in agreement. The prosecutor slid out of the booth, holding the phone up to his ear, speaking in a hushed yet firm tone.

"Listen Dick, you got it all wrong. I was just-"

"No you listen to me pal! Maya told me the whole thing!"

Godot walked into the bathroom of the restaurant to have a more private conversation. "Look, it's not like that. I'm not trying to hook up with Trite or whatever you think is going on."

"... You're not?" Gumshoe asked, sounding skeptical.

"No. In fact, I'm trying to get them together." Gumshoe snorted.

"You sure got a funny way of showing it."

"I'm making Edgeworth jealous so that he'll admit his feelings," he explained, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Ooooh, that's smart!"

"Yeah, so don't go blabbering to Phoenix. I know you can't keep a secret."

"Hey I can totally keep secrets! I just don't want to very often!" he defended himself.

"Alright, are we done here? 'Cause we're out at lunch, and our food should be getting here soon."

"Okay yeah, sorry about the mix up. I'll let you get back to lunch," Dick said, hanging up. Godot heaved a sigh of relief, wiping a few beads of sweat from his forehead.

Meanwhile, Phoenix and Miles sat in an awkward silence as they watched Godot leave. Miles was sitting rigidly, staring at the napkin in his lap. Phoenix twirled the straw around in his glass.

"C-can you believe him? Heh, Gumshoe sure does have an active imagination," Wright said nervously, desperate to break the silence. Miles was quick to agree.

"Yes, he does," he allowed a soft smile to grace his features. "I suppose he's a romantic at heart," he reasoned.

"Uh, yeah. I guess he is," he agreed. The expression on his face was a mixture of nervousness, confusion, and a touch of sadness. Edgeworth took a deep breath. It was either now or never.

"But is he wrong?"

Phoenix whipped his head over to look at him. "What?" He tried to mask the hopefulness in his voice.

"While what he says may seem odd or far fetched at times, he's usually right." He spared a glance at Wright, trying to read him.

"Miles, a-are you saying-"

"I like you Phoenix. As a friend, yes, but... also more," he finally admitted.

Phoenix practically lit up. "Really? Wow that's- I mean- I've liked you since the third grade!" he blurted out, relieved to finally get this off his chest.

"I... also had a bit of a crush. And when we met in court that first time, all those feelings I thought I'd left behind came flooding back." Wright reached out, holding his hand. They stared at each other, warm smiles lighting up the room.

Miles started chuckling softly, and Phoenix cocked his head, an amused smirk on his face. "What's so funny?"

"Godot was doing all this to make me jealous, so that I'd admit my feelings. And it worked."

He nudged him with his elbow teasingly. "Well then, I guess a thank you's in order." Edgeworth groaned, though it was just for show.

"If I thank him then I'll never hear the end of it," he complained lightheartedly.

"Maybe that's not the worst thing. You're cute when you're annoyed and embarrassed," Phoenix cooed, propping his arm on the table to rest his chin in his hand. Miles blushed softly.

"S-stop it, that's supposed to be my line," he grumbled playfully, looking away. Phoenix smirked and pecked his cheek, relishing in the way his blush darkened considerably.

Godot was watching from around the corner of the hall, letting them have their moment. He wore a satisfied smirk as he walked up to their table. Both Wright and Edgeworth scooted away, acting as though nothing had happened.

"Don't play coy you two. I knew my plan would work. You're welcome by the way." They were both rendered flustered and speechless, even as the waiter set down their food.

[theimmaterialplace]

holding on | emily prentiss x reader & spencer reid x reader | ch. 2: falling

Chapter Summary: The morning after the reveal of Emily’s death and a conversation with Spencer.

Contains: mentions of cat-calling and panic attacks, light kissing, grief and mourning.

Word Count: 2.4k 

Comments: this fic is my new baby and i will nurture it to its end. this is gonna end up being a long story and emily won't reappear for at least another 25k so there's that! also look i gave a little flashback to their relationship! in case i didn't elaborate enough, spencer and reader are quite close and have known each other since elle left which ill get into in another chapter! so that's why she has some of his clothes and why he's so close to her and latching onto her. reader is going through it rn but she's shoving it aside which isn't healthy and not good in the long run so she'll have to adress it eventually but that's not now! she's kinda numb rn and trying to keep it together for spencer which is going... as well as one would expect.

i think my favorite line in this was "The song ends but the moment doesn’t." and "But all moments have to come to an end."next chapter, we'll be getting the rest of the bau team (yay!) and emily's funeral (💔)! reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! i love hearing feedback even if it’s something small!

also i’m gonna do a taglist for this fic so if you’d like to be added, send me an ask with the username you’d like to be tagged with!

masterlist | read on ao3

What am I now? What am I now?

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

- Harry Styles, "Falling"

When the morning comes, you wake up first on your couch and feel a crick in your neck. The night’s memories rush back to your mind and you immediately feel nauseous. You manage to very carefully separate yourself from Spencer and manage to make it to the restroom in time to vomit.

It’s awful.

You don’t even know why it’s still hitting you so hard when Spencer is the one that should be feeling like this. He’s the one that’s known her for years and you were nothing but a fling for her.

You don’t glance at yourself when you exit your bathroom, already knowing the state you’re in. When you enter your living room, Spencer is still out so you decide to do the next best thing you can for him.

You’re thankful that you already have some leftover ground coffee beans from the day before because you really don’t want to wake him up before you can put a cup of coffee in his hands.  Going through the motions of making coffee and then a simple breakfast is calming.

You’re unsure if Spencer will be able to stomach anything if he’s anything like you are now so you make the lightest meal you can. When the coffee machine beeps, you grab two mugs and begin making the coffee the way he likes.

It’s as you’re making your own coffee that you’re interrupted by Spencer calling out your name. You turn around and find him rubbing his eyes and looking a bit better than when he first came in.

“Hey, Spence. I have some coffee if you want some,” you grab his mug at his nod and place it in his trembling hands, “it’s just how you like. Ninety percent sugar and cream and ten percent actual coffee.” A small smile crept onto his face at your joke and you’re glad you’ve managed to make him smile even if it’s just a little bit.

He sips on his coffee and you decide to plate the food that’s still warm onto your dining table. He follows and takes the seat across from you, mumbling his thanks. You both eat in silence for there are no words or fun quips to share with Emily gone.

Spencer is the first to break the silence. “Thank you… Thank you for last night. I couldn’t stay with my team after that. It was just too personal. I know I’ve mentioned it before but I’m the youngest of the team and though they mean well, they tend to baby me. I… I couldn’t handle it so I left them.” He pauses, fingertips tapping in a familiar tune on the ceramic mug, “I didn’t want to be alone and you’re the first person I thought of. I know you know… knew Emily and that you would just be there for me so thank you.”

He looks directly into your eyes as he says this and you know how serious this must mean for him so you reach out for his hand, which he extends for you, and squeeze it in your own. You have to articulate your response properly because you don’t want to scare him off by saying the wrong thing.

Maintaining eye contact, you speak, “I’m glad I was able to be there for you, Spencer. To be the first person you came to means a lot to me. I hope you know I’ll always be there for you, for the small and the big things. While I may not be as close… While I may not have been as close to Emily as you were, I will still grieve for her. Just knowing how much she meant to you is enough for me to know how much a beautiful person she was. From the little glimpses I’ve seen of her and the tidbits you’ve told me over the years, I know this is going to be one of the hardest things for you… and if you let me, I’d like to be there for you.”

He’s like an open book after you’ve told him your resolve, like the book you’ve reread more times you can count and the original copy has been worn down due with some of the passages long gone but memorized in your heart. His eyes are watering again and he’s out of his seat faster than you can comprehend and he lifts you up and his arms wrap around you tightly, as if you’re his lifeline.

He whispers words of gratitude into the crown of your head and you hold him back just as tightly, tears springing to your eyes. You’d do anything to take his pain away and if this is all you can do then you’ll do it willingly.

“I want you here,” his voice is low and wrecked, “I.. I don’t want to be alone. Please. Please don’t leave me. Everyone leaves, Please…”

You look up to him and grab his face gently in your hands, wiping the tears from his cheek as you say, “I’m not leaving, Spencer. I’m right here. I’m here for you always. I promise not to leave you. I’m with you. I’m here.” At this, he looks even more broken and only nods his head, breath hitching and his sobs ceasing for the moment. You know it’s not enough for him so you guide one of  his hands to the pulse on your wrist.

“Count.” And he does, his mind focuses on the beat and it calms him; it reassures him you’re still alive.

When the minute is over, he looks significantly more calm and less likely to cry again. He looks at you like he can’t believe you’re really there and you pull him in again. Physical contact is meant to ground people and you only hope this helps him.

A shrill ring interrupts your thoughts and you know it’s Spencer’s because you’ve heard it many times before from him and Emily both.

He lets go of you to answer it and he tenses immediately as he hears whoever it is on the other line. He says a few things in response and his eyes become glassy again. He hangs up only a few moments later and turns to you.

“My team wants me to help inform Emily’s mother of her death so we can start planning her funeral…” He closes his eyes shut and his fingers clench into his palms. Slowly, you walk up to him and unfold his palms and find red, crescent indents on his palms.

“I can drive you…? I know you took the metro here. Let me help, Spencer.” He just nods and you lead him to the bathroom to help tidy him up. You turn the faucet on and hand him his toothbrush, your fingers lingering on Emily’s red one before grabbing your own. It’s a familiar routine and as you finish, you leave to let him use the restroom and wash up while you rack through your closet to find something he's left over to wear for the day.

You manage to find a striped brown button up and matching brown pants while you put on a simple outfit, a grey long sleeve with jeans and a pair of black vans. You knock on the door and he opens it after a moment and takes his clothes from you. You go back to your room to fix up your hair and after a while you deem it acceptable.

As you’re doing your makeup routine, you hear a knock then, “Are you decent?”

“Come in, I’m almost done.” The door opens and you catch his reflection in your mirror. He looks better but the despair that clings to him is obvious to you.

He lets a small smile fill his face and though it doesn’t reach his eyes, you still match it. “I’m surprised you still had this. I had wondered where this outfit had gone but I remember that when I stayed over that night I had to leave immediately and left it here.”

“Well, I wouldn’t just throw it away and I kept forgetting to give it back to you. It’s a good thing otherwise you’d be left in some sweatpants and a Star Trek t-shirt.” He lets out a small laugh at that and you’re grateful you’re able to get him to genuinely laugh.

“Okay, I’m done. We can head out now.” He follows you out of your apartment and into the passenger seat of your car. The ride is silent to Quantico, unlike the usual rides you give him where you play a new genre for him and for him to compare it to his classical music and talk about some facts of the music.

When you finally arrive, you both sit there. He doesn’t want to leave and face reality and you don’t want to be left alone with only the truth to haunt you.

Spencer breaks the silence once again, “Thank you for everything. I don’t know where I would’ve gone last night… If you can, can you pick me up later? I… I can’t be with the team right now. It’s just too fresh.”

“Of course, Spencer. Just send me a text a bit before and I’ll be there.” He nods and gives you a quick hug before leaving and your eyes follow him until he’s nothing but a pinprick in your vision.

Like a switch flipped, you can only think of Emily. It’s not fair that she… that Emily is gone, that’s she’s dead. You never thought this was a probability. She was always such an impervious figure in your mind, a larger than life kind of person. You knew it was a possibility in her line of work but it never crossed your mind that it could actually happen to her. She was a strong woman, never letting anything affect her and you can’t believe she’s gone.

You shouldn’t even feel this strongly for her, you’re not meant to be more than a friend to her but you can’t help but think of her as your lover. Every little moment you’ve shared with her flashes in your mind. One in particular stands out, one that had happened only a month or two ago.

“Ugh, Emily. We’ve gotta go or else tomorrow morning is gonna be hell for the both of us.” You drag her away from the bar and shoot a smile at the bartender who only shakes her head and mouths “have a nice night”.

“ No ,” she whines, “I don’t want to, babe. We were having so much fun. Let’s stay here and dance some more.” She grins at you, taking your hand and pulling you back into the crowd. You let her because you can never say no to her, not when she’s looking at you with those eyes and that smile.

Her mood is infectious and you let her have this one last dance. It’s not even a song you know but you think it might be your new favorite with the way she twirls you around and looks at you with affection and fondness.

Being with Emily is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, even if this is a temporary thing. You would do anything for her, even leave her alone if that’s what she wanted.

The song ends but the moment doesn’t.

“Okay, okay, Em. We really need to go now.” She pouts at you but relents and follows you out of the club.

Before you reach your car, she pulls you in, her hands cradling your face, and she’s looking at you in wonder, “Y’know I can’t believe you’re actually here. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You mean so much to me. I hope you know that.” She leans in and kisses you. You savor every moment of it, feeling her smile against your lips. Like an imp, she grins widely and leaves multiple pecks around your lips, never quite touching.

It’s just you and her in that moment and she’s never seemed more lovely than in that exact moment.

Deciding that her actions are enough, you grab her by the chin and your free arm wraps around her waist so that she’s flush against you and slam your lips onto her own. Every emotion you’ve felt for her is poured into the kiss and you hope she can feel it. It’s passionate and messy and it leaves you wanting more.

She lets out a small moan when you move your mouth to pepper kisses onto her jaw and to suck on her sweet spot, sighing praises into her skin as if they’ll imprint on her, an irrefutable claim.

You’re not sure how much time passes between that moment but you only stop when you hear multiple wolf whistles and she groans before pulling away from you and yells at the offenders, “Shows’ over, you fucks!” Then she turns to you and leers, “We’ll finish this back at my place.”

You’re only able to nod and look at her in awe,  “Emily Prentiss… what a woman you are. I’ll never be able to forget you know?”

She smiles even wider at your admission, and beckons you forward and of course you come closer and she admits quietly, “You won’t ever have the chance to. I plan on never letting you go.”

But all moments have to come to an end.

If only that was the truth because she never brought up the conversation the morning after. Whether she actually remembered it and shoved it aside or she genuinely couldn’t remember, you can’t decide what’s worse. You never mention it because you don’t want to ruin something that already works and now… Now you would never have the chance to find out because Emily was dead.

Tears well up in your eyes and you recognize the signs of an oncoming panic attack. It’s with a wet laugh that you realize that you were right, your dramatic thoughts from the night she texted you had come true.

Emily Prentiss would haunt you forever and you’ll let her if it means you’ll never forget what she sounded like or what each gleam in her eye or each smile meant.

[rafael-silva]

out of darkness, light: a tarlos fic

When the 126 got called to a kitchen fire a little after noon, it never registered for TK that the rest of his day was going to turn out the way it did. If anything, he was thinking about the complete opposite. He was thinking about light and happiness, going home to Carlos at the end of their shared shifts, lying in his boyfriend’s embrace. He thought about comfort and safety. But what he ended up getting, was darkness and fear. The power of manifestation, people had told him. Well, if you ask TK, he never manifested this.

for the bad things happen bingo: tarlos + communication suddenly cut off

established tk strand/carlos reyes, major character injury, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, angst, whump, fluff, team as family, hurt tk strand, hurt carlos reyes 

6.9k | on ao3

*****

When the 126 got called to a kitchen fire a little after noon, it never registered for TK that the rest of his day was going to turn out the way it did. If anything, he was thinking about the complete opposite. He was thinking about light and happiness, going home to Carlos at the end of their shared shifts, lying in his boyfriend’s embrace. He thought about comfort and safety. But what he ended up getting, was darkness and fear. The power of manifestation, people had told him. Well, if you ask TK, he never manifested this.

As TK hops out of the firetruck after it comes to a halt at their scene, he sees a very familiar APD cruiser pull up to the scene, most likely dispatched there for crowd control. TK’s face breaks into a wide smile, watching Carlos climb out of the car, followed by his partner, Amber.

TK liked Amber, she was smart, witty and he knew she had Carlos’s back no matter what. All three of them had gone out a few times for dinner and he immediately took a liking to her. And he’s heard from Carlos how well they work together and how they understand each other in the field, and knowing that helps TK relax just that much when Carlos is working.

TK and Carlos don’t have time to exchange any words as Owen starts giving out orders, so they settle for quick, reassuring nods and then both direct their attentions to their jobs.

TK, Judd and Paul are tasked with extinguishing the fire, while Marjan and Mateo are tasked with clearing the residence. Carlos and Amber secure the scene, guiding civilians and on-lookers to the other side of the street and on the sidewalk. He looks over his shoulder just in time to see TK sliding his mask over his face, shouldering and securing his oxygen tank and walking towards the house, his eyes catching the T.K. STRAND printed on the bottom of his turnout coat, shimmering as the sunlight bounced off the name.

Carlos swallowed as the three firefighters disappeared inside, it looked to be a small fire, but still, any small fire can escalate very quickly. Carlos quickly shakes his head, not wanting to go to the worst case scenarios. He trusts that TK is excellent at his job, and he isn't in there alone and Carlos takes comfort in that fact. Even though there’s a little voice in the back of his head, reminding him that his boyfriend is a trouble magnet. (Like Carlos needs reminding.) He expels the thought and redirects his attention back to the perimeter as he and Amber work to keep the scene clear.

It all works out without a hitch. Marjan and Mateo jog out of the house, leading three people out,  closely followed by TK, Judd and Paul. Carlos lets out a sigh of relief upon seeing TK clear of the house, watching as TK takes off his mask and oxygen tank.

“All clear, Cap,” Judd reports. “And the fire was contained to the kitchen, no further damage to the rest of the house. Structural integrity is good.”

“Good job, team,” Owen nods.

Carlos looks as Marjan leads the house owners to the ambulance where Tommy and Nancy are waiting to check them out and then makes eye contact with TK.

“You got this?” Carlos asks Amber.

“When do I not?” She teases with a smirk. “People are fanning out anyway. Go,” she nudges her head in TK’s direction.

“Thanks,” Carlos gives her a grateful smile and tries not to jog towards TK. It doesn't work. He jogs.

“Hi, babe,” TK smiles, meeting Carlos halfway on the green lawn.

“Hey, baby,” Carlos replies, wrapping his arms around TK in a quick but firm hug. TK smells like smoke but it doesn’t matter, because TK is here. “You okay?” He asks as they pull apart.

TK nods. “Yup, it was pretty straightforward. Didn’t encounter any problems or surprises.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“I think we’re heading out,” TK points out as he watches the rest of the crew pack their equipment and pile into the truck. “Your shift going okay so far?”

“Yeah,” Carlos answers. “Just small calls.”

“I hope it stays that way.”

“You and I both,” Carlos nods.

Their heads turn in sync as they hear TK’s name being called from behind them.

“TK!” Judd waves his hand. “Let’s go.”

TK nods, turning back to Carlos. “See you at home.”

“Yeah.”

TK leans in, brushing a chaste kiss to Carlos’s lips. “Text me. And be careful, please.”

“Will do,” Carlos promises. “You too, on both those things.”

TK smiles as he makes his way towards the truck, giving Amber a nod and climbing in.

Leaving the scene, too, TK sees Amber and Carlos get into their cruiser and drive off in the opposite direction.

The crew sit in silence as they drive back the firehouse wearing their headphones and TK stares out the window as the city passes by in a blur.

Then the radio comes to life, but it’s not a call for them.

“Unit 363-H-20, 10-50,” the female voice relays, giving the address of the car accident.

Carlos and Amber. TK knows Carlos’s unit number by heart.  

“10-4, dispatch,” Carlos’s reply rings through the channel, his strong voice filling the headphones. “Responding, en route.”

TK could hear the sirens begin to wail in the background.

“Roger that,” the female voice returns. “ETA?”

No response comes.

The female voice tries again. “Unit 363-H-20, please respond.”

Nothing.

And just like that, the silence echoing through the firetruck is deafening, the air suddenly thick and heavy, and TK holds his breath as he waits for a reply from the officers. As he waits to hear his boyfriend’s voice.

Which still doesn’t come.

“Reyes, respond,” the female voice returns, rigid but TK can hear some unsteadiness in the tone.

Still, nothing.

TK can feel the tension rising in the small space. And he’s suddenly hot, his body feels like it’s on fire. He knows the rest of his team aren’t just concerned for him, but they’re concerned for Carlos, as well. Carlos is now part of the family, of their family.

TK finds himself fishing his phone out of his pocket, his mind working on autopilot as he touches Carlos’s contact and brings up the phone to his ear.

It’s fine, it’s okay, there are a lot of explanations for what happened, he repeats in his head as the ringing continues. “Come on, come on, pick up,” TK whispers, mostly to himself.

It goes to voicemail.

“Damn it,” TK hangs up. His heart sinks a little more.

But still, he won’t allow himself to panic. Carlos might be on the phone with dispatch. Or another officer. Maybe the radio broke.

TK tries calling Amber next.

And when her phone goes to voicemail too, the dam in TK breaks as the fear starts coursing through his body, through his veins.

“They’re not picking up,” TK’s voice wavers.

No one says anything, they just exchange worried looks.  

“Why aren’t they answering?” TK continues. He doesn’t know the answer. And there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to know the answer. Because his gut tells him he won’t like the answer.

He shakes his head, drawing in a deep breath and shakily letting it out. What do people say about manifestation again? Right. So he tries to think positive thoughts, tries to convince himself that Carlos is okay, that the radio just broke and Carlos will call or text him any second.

TK doesn’t allow himself to think about the what if the little voice at the back of his head keeps supplying.

No, Carlos is fine. The radio just broke.

He waits. No text or call come through.

The more he waits, the most TK’s world closes in on him.

He holds his breath once again as he tries to call Carlos for a second time.

Same outcome.

That's the last string as TK gives into that small voice.

“Something’s wrong,” TK finally says the words out loud, the hot pit in his stomach getting deeper and deeper by each passing second. “I saw him get into the passenger seat, he should be answering.”

“Hey, TK,” it’s Owen who speaks up. “It’s okay, I’m sure there’s a valid and logical explanation.”

But TK’s shaking his head. “We have to do something.”

“I need you to breathe, son. Breathe.”

TK swallows against his very dry throat, doing his best to follow his dad’s instructions. Deep breath, hold for one, two, three, four and let out for one, two, three, four…

He repeats the exercise a few times, feeling his heart begin to calm down.

Before anyone can say anything else, the radio comes to life again, this time a different voice and a call for the firefighters.

Judd looks at TK with a concerned and supportive gaze. “You alright? Get your head in the game brother. I’m sure your man is fine.”

TK nods, sitting up straight in his seat. He can’t let anything affect how he does his job, people are relying on him, his team is relying on him and as much as he wants to curl up in a ball and keep trying Carlos until he answers, he knows he can’t do that. And he also knows that if he lets the worry get the best of him and put him out of action, it would be impossible to get out of bed each morning.

TK sighs, reluctantly putting his phone away and closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing. Yeah, there are several reasons why Carlos couldn’t pick up. He could be at the scene right now, doing his job. And TK needs to do his job, too.

Still, however, he can’t shake off this gut wrenching feeling echoing through his bones.

The silence sits heavy among the crew, each of them busying themselves in any way until they reach their scene. TK slightly startles as an invisible voice speaks suddenly as dispatch is radioing again and redirecting them to a different call.

TK swallows and tries to keep the sickening feeling down. He’ll deal with it later. He has a job to do now. He shares a quick look with Paul, and sees support and grounding in the other man’s eyes. He knows his crew—his family—has his back.

However, all concentration TK had been building to focus on his job goes out the window when the firetruck rolls up to the scene.

When he spots the APD cruiser sitting the middle of the intersection. And his eyes land on the license plate he knows by heart.

He’s jumping out of the truck before it comes to a full stop, his name being called out in a fury behind him but he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t dare slow down. He doesn’t look back at them. He barely registers the shuffling going on as the rest of the crew jump out behind him when the truck stops.

He’s screaming out another name.

“Carlos!” Even TK’s voice sound foreign to him. It sounds broken. “Carlos!”

The closer TK gets, the more he realizes that another one of his worst fears is becoming a reality.  It’s confirmed when he’s a few feet away from the car, and it’s clear that the passenger side took the hit head on.

And Carlos had gotten into the passenger seat.

TK can’t hear Judd yelling his name over the beating of his own heart in his ears. He swallows and wills his heart to calm down. So he can work. So he save Carlos.

He hears a groan coming from inside the car. He jumps at it, closing the distance between him and the cruiser. TK gets to the driver’s side, looking through the car to see Carlos resting his head against the door frame. And the window has been shattered into pieces. It’s then TK realizes the sound is coming from Amber.

“Amber, hey, it’s TK,” he says. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” she replies weakly. “Check on Reyes. A car ran a red light and crashed into us.”

Only then does TK see the other car on the other side of the intersection. And his blood boils when it appears that the driver is fine.

He looks over his shoulder to see Marjan and Paul coming up to the car, and then he allows himself to walk around the car to Carlos’s side.

His heart drops into his knees at the sight that meets his eyes. It’s like a bucket of ice water has been dumped on TK’s head.

“Carlos? Carlos, can you hear me?” TK speaks, his voice unsteady. “Carlos, it’s TK. I’m here.”

He’s met with silence from his boyfriend.

With a trembling hand, he reaches out, placing two fingers on Carlos’s neck and waits, praying. He sags slightly when he feels the thump against his touch.

“Carlos, please,” TK tries again with the same outcome.

He hears his father say that EMS is en route.

The firefighter takes in a deep breath, collecting himself and goes into first responder mode. He can’t fall apart now. He needs to save Carlos.

He hears the rest of the team working to get Amber out, and then feels a presence at his side.

It’s Judd, and the man draws a breath himself at seeing Carlos in his unconscious and bleeding state.

TK starts cataloging Carlos’s injuries.

“He’s got a nasty gash on his hairline,” he points to Carlos’s head, the cut which is steadily oozing blood appears to need stitches. “His heart is racing, and from what I can tell, his breathing isn’t good,” he continues. “He’s wheezing, not taking deep, full breaths. Could be from the impact of the crash,” TK analyzes. “I can’t tell about anything else, though.”

Both TK and Judd look up when sirens get closer and TK lets out a sigh when Tommy exists the ambulance, making a beeline for them, Nancy following her with the medical bags.

They quickly secure Carlos’s neck with a c-collar to ensure no further harm occurs to the cop. TK’s eyes drift to Carlos’s closed ones, and the bang in his chest is painful, it’s so painful TK feels like his knees will give out. He misses those bright, brown eyes. He’d give anything to see Carlos open his eyes again.

He redirects his attention to the tangled mess of a door. He pulls at it, trying to get it opened, but it doesn’t budge.

“It’s stuck! We need to get the door opened! He’s trapped!” TK yells.

Wordlessly, Judd moves, making his way to the truck so he can get the equipment they need to bust the door open, while Tommy and Nancy open the medical bags and start gathering what they need.

And in a blink of an eye, the hood of the cruiser goes up in flames.

“TK!” Owen howls. “Get back!”

“I’m not leaving him!” TK yells back, his voice higher than the roar of the flames.

“Judd, Paul, extinguishers!”

TK hears his father scream the order, but he’s looking at Carlos. It’s only Carlos. Carlos has his full, undivided attention.

He doesn’t move even when the heat evaporates, and the fire is put out just as quickly as it had started.

It’s only Tommy speaking to him that breaks TK out of his trance.

“TK, take a set back, I need to check him,” Tommy says, her voice authoritative but still soft.

“Hang on, babe,” TK whispers, watching Tommy press her stethoscope to Carlos’s unevenly moving chest.

“Diminished breath sounds,” Tommy reports. “I think he has a bruised lung.”

TK’s heart sinks even further at the Paramedic Captain’s words.

“We need to stabilize him,” Tommy continues. “Get ready with the IVs and oxygen once he’s out, we don’t have any time to lose. Okay,” she nods at the firefighters, “ready for extraction.”

Judd wastes no time in digging the jaws of life into an open juncture of the mangled door, TK watching with his hands on his heart as the machine slowly works in pulling the door apart, the metal shrieking as it’s torn apart.

TK feels a hand on his shoulder and looks to the side to find his father standing next to him, Owen’s eyes not leaving Carlos.

TK swallows, turning back and drops to his knees, already wanting to be near Carlos as Paul steps forward to help Judd carry him and lay him on the backboard.

But the second he’s removed from the car, blood starts gushing and pouring out of his thigh. And it keeps coming, it doesn’t slow down as it stains the asphalt beneath Carlos red.

“It’s the femoral artery!” Tommy yells, her hands immediately going to the wound and pressing down, hard. She looks at TK, who’s the closest to her, and his face is pale. Unmoving. He’s staring at Carlos, eyes unblinking.

“TK? TK!” Tommy cries out.

But TK can’t move. He can’t bring his muscles to move. There’s so much blood…Carlos…Carlos’s blood…

“I need you to apply as much pressure as we get a tourniquet on, do you hear me, TK?”

But Tommy’s voice is so far away, it’s like TK is under water and she’s speaking from above. But then…

“He needs you.”

That’s what brings TK back. And he’s lunging forward, covering Tommy’s hands with his own as she retracts her, and TK presses down as hard as he can. But there’s still blood seeping through his fingers, and he wants to cry. He want to sob. This can’t be happening. He can’t keep Carlos’s blood inside his body, where it should be. He suspects he lets out a whimper because a second later, he feels another all-too familiar touch to his back. A silent gesture of support.

TK applies more pressure, determined to do whatever it takes to save his boyfriend.

And then Owen’s voice is there in his ear, telling TK to let go.

But TK can’t let go. He can’t. Carlos will bleed out if he does. No. He has to keep applying—

“TK, son, you can let go.”

It’s then TK allows himself to tear his gaze from Carlos’s bloodied face and takes a peak at his thigh. It’s not bleeding anymore. He reluctantly lets go.

“He’s stable for now,” Tommy says.

For a second, TK feels lost. So much is happening around him but he feels detached. Feels like he’s far, far away. He unceremoniously tumbles backwards, and into his father’s chest. Owen manages to take on TK’s weight without losing his balance and wraps his arms around TK’s shivering form.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Owen whispers. “He’s okay.”

“He’s okay?” TK questions, a puzzled look on his face.

Owen frowns a little. “Yeah, Tommy said he’s okay. We’ll get him to the hospital and they’ll take care of him.”

“She did?”

Owen sighs. “She did.”

Owen’s heart shatters at the pain in TK’s eyes, the look painted on his face. It’s a broken look, and TK’s eyes are glassy with unshed tears.

“It’s going to be okay,” Owen comforts TK. “He’s strong and he’s a fighter.”

“It has to be okay, he has to be okay,” TK whispers. There’s no other option.

Owen brushes a kiss to TK’s temple.

“Come on,” he helps TK get to his feet and gestures to the ambulance. “Go, we’ll catch up and meet you at the hospital.”

TK doesn’t need to be told twice. He jogs and jumps into the back of the ambulance, and for the first time, notices the absence of Amber and the driver of the other car. And the amount of APD cruisers that had arrived.

He keeps the tears at bay, or does his best, as he settles on the small bench in the ambulance. He reaches out, taking a hold of Carlos’s hand and giving it a light squeeze.

He can’t help the tear that rolls down his cheek when Carlos doesn’t squeeze back.

Tommy and TK sit in silence, the Paramedic Captain taking glances at the heart monitor to ensure the cop’s stability while TK doesn’t move his eyes from Carlos’s too-still form.

TK watches as Carlos’s check weakly rises and falls with every breath he takes, and this whole sight is wrong, it’s just so wrong. Even though Carlos is a calm and steady sleeper—TK’s the fidgeter and tosser in his sleep in this relationship—Carlos does have a few minimal movements, they’re very small but they’re there, and once TK noticed them, he always watches for them if he wakes up before Carlos. Like how Carlos scrunches up his nose in his sleep sometimes, how his eyes move underneath closed lids when he’s dreaming, how he automatically nuzzles his face against the back of TK’s neck when they’re spooning, those are all Carlos and right now, in this ambulance, this sight is anything but Carlos. It’s too still, too distant. Too cold.

It’s almost like Tommy can sense TK’s mind spiral. She hasn’t been at the 126 for long, but she immediately had picked up on the connection and bond between TK and Carlos. The love they share. She had taken one look at them together and she knew. And knowing about their love from just one look, with the amount of affection and passion that had radiated off the couple, her heart breaks at what TK must be feeling.

“He’s hanging in there, TK,” Tommy breaks the silence like a knife slicing through butter. “I’ll be honest, his numbers aren’t great, but he’s holding on.”

“I—I can’t lose him,” TK whispers.

“I haven’t known Carlos for long, but I know he won’t go down without a fight. And I know he’s fighting to get back to you, too.”

TK doesn’t reply, the words caught in his throat, but he wishes he could express his thanks to Tommy, how much he appreciates her kind words.

It seems that once again, Tommy can read TK’s mind because she’s reaching out and giving TK’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. There’s no need to thank me, you aren’t alone, the gesture seems to speak.

The rest of the trip to the hospital is spent in silence, with thankfully no surprises arising with Carlos’s condition. Tommy had hoped his numbers would get better as he received treatment in the ambulance, but she’s also glad his numbers didn’t plummet.

They’re met with a team of doctors and nurses outside the ambulance bay, the nurses ripping the ambulance doors open and Tommy pushes the gurney, relaying the information of Carlos’s condition and vitals. It all happens in a blur, TK sticking close but giving the doctors and nurses space, rushing through the chilly ER. TK only stops when Carlos is rolled through a door with a sign that reads Authorized Personnel Only.

He lets out a shaky breath, arms hanging heavily at his sides. He feels a presence next to him: Tommy. They don’t say anything, though, the only sound surrounding them that of a semi-busy emergency room.

On autopilot, TK reaches for his phone, fishing it out of his pocket and opens his contact list.

He needs to make a phone call while he can still speaks without every word breaking.

Carlos’s mother.

She answers on the fourth ring.

“Hola, Tyler,” she answers with a gentle tone.

“Camila…”

She immediately knows something is wrong when TK’s voice breaks.

*****

He doesn’t know how long he’s been pacing the waiting room, having been lead there by a nurse a few minutes after he finished talking to Carlos’s mom.

He turns when he hears his name being called, and sees his father and the rest of the 126 marching towards him, all wearing the same worry and concern on their faces.

“Dad,” TK’s voice quivers.

“What’s the latest?”

“They took him straight into surgery,” Tommy supplies from the chair she’s sitting in. “No word since.”

TK nods. “I called his mom, she’s on the way.”

TK’s eyes are bloodshot and swollen, swimming with unshed tears.

It breaks Owen’s heart all over again.

“Come here,” he pulls TK into a tight hug, holding his son close and running a hand up and down TK’s back.

And TK feels so small in Owen’s arms, the way he curls against and into his father’s body and hold, the way TK clutches at the back of Owen’s AFD t-shirt, his tight fists grasping the material. Owen suspects it’s a lifeline for TK, and in this moment, it truly is.

Judd walks past them, squeezing one of TK’s arms as he does and sits on the chair next to Tommy.

“He hasn’t sat down for a moment since we got here,” Tommy tells Judd.

Judd nods in acknowledgment. “Yeah, that’s TK for you. He’s always moving, nervous energy.”

“This can’t be good for him,” Tommy sighs.

“It’s not. But getting that kid to sit still for a moment has been a collective failure for the 126,” Judd replies. “Most of all when he’s worried or anxious.”

TK’s still pacing around, the rest of the 126 having taken their seats, when Owen spots a Latina in her late forties quickly walking towards the waiting room through the glass window. Her long, wavy black hair tied up in a high ponytail, gripping her arm bag tightly, her forehead creased and brown eyes wide with worry and concern.

Owen gets to his feet as she enters the room.

“How’s my son?” She asks right away, eyes landing on Owen.

“He’s still in surgery,” Owen answers, cutting to the chase. “No news yet.”

Camila closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. She still faces Owen when she opens her eyes, and gives him a nod. Her eyes then divert to TK, who had stopped moving when she entered the room, watching the exchange between her and his dad.

She takes in his appearance and her eyes soften.

“Oh, querido,” she breathes. Darling. And then she’s opening her arms wide.

TK closes the distance between them with a few steps, her strong arms going around him and a hand traveling to rest on the back of his head.

Camila is a little shorter than TK, but here, right now, and in his current state, she might as well be a giant and TK a little boy.

“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t—” TK’s voice trembles, muffled by Camila’s sweater as his body shakes in her arms.

“Hey, hey, no, no, amor,” she whispers. “None of that now. I know in my heart that you did everything you could for my mijo and you were by his side.”

TK sniffs as they pull apart.

“Carlos is going to be just fine,” she reassures TK. “My son is strong, he’ll pull through.” TK swallows, nodding.

He can’t stop the tear that falls from his eye, slowly rolling down his cheek. He does, however, give Camila a small smile when her hand cups his face and she wipes the tear away with her thumb.

After brief introductions with Tommy (Camila knows the rest of the 126), and Camila thanking Tommy for everything she did for Carlos,  she sits down on one of the chairs facing the door.

“Tyler,” she says and taps the chair next to her. “Come sit with me.”

TK does. He falls into the chair and sighs, comforted right away by her close presence.

“Well,” Judd turns to Tommy. “I guess there is one person who can get TK to sit down.”

Tommy smiles at that.

*****

TK falls asleep as they wait for any news to arrive about Carlos. He had tired himself out, mentally, physically and emotionally. He needed the rest, Owen knew TK was this close to collapsing. And that would have been the last thing they needed.

Owen gently adjusts TK into a better position so it doesn’t ache his son when he wakes up and to keep his muscles from straining.

Camila watches. “He’s exhausted.”

Owen nods, dropping into the chair on her other side with a sigh. “It was hard. It was a…tough scene. I could see that TK was barely holding it together, he never left Carlos’s side.”

It’s Camila’s turn to nod. “Tyler didn’t tell me much about the accident, but I knew enough. That boy’s voice is as transparent as glass. Still, though, it doesn’t change anything. Carlos is strong.”

“Absolutely,” Owen agrees.

“Mi mijo will be back on his feet in no time.”

They sit in shared silence for another hour, the rest of the 126 going and coming with some pastries and coffee, Owen keeping saving pastries for TK to eat when he wakes up. Grace had joined them a short while ago and was sitting next to Judd, clasping his hand as she prayed for Carlos.

The doctor marches into the waiting room about thirty minutes later, a weary and tired look on his face, no doubt from the long surgery.

“Family of Carlos Reyes?”

They can’t read the doctor’s face as they all rise to their feet, Camila being the first as Owen moves to wake TK up.

“TK,” Owen lightly shakes his son. “Wake up, the doctor’s here.”

“Hm?” TK slowly rouses from his sleep state, getting to his feet at the speed of lightning at soon as he registers Owen’s words.

They collectively hold their breath.

“Si, doctor,” Camila speaks. “How’s my son?”

“He made it through surgery,” the doctor reassures him and the tension in the room starts fading.

The family just as collectively lets out the breath they were holding, exchanging relieved looks.

“Oh, thank the Lord,” Grace says.

“It is, however, going to be a tough recovery,” the doctor continues. “He did sustain a bruised lung due to the collision. We’ll keep monitoring his breathing and oxygen levels but he’s already breathing on his own, which is a good sign. The also suffered a concussion, but there’s no evidence of any brain trauma and the laceration on his hairline has been stitched. We repaired the femoral artery in his thigh, and in time and with some physical therapy, the injury won’t present any difficulties for movement. Overall, I expect him to make a full recovery, he’s young and healthy, he’s going to be just fine.”

“He’s…he’s really okay?” TK asks, his mind still catching up with everything the doctor said.

“Yes,” the doctor nods. “He’s really okay.”

And for the first time since finding Carlos in that cruiser, TK lets his tears fall. All of them. He stops holding back and the dam breaks. He pours out everything he’s feeling, all the fear, the hurt, the pain, the relief, is all comes tumbled out.

TK blindly reaches for his dad, and Owen is right there to hold him. TK buries his face in his father’s neck, the tears streaming down his face, and Owen speaks to him in whispers.

“It’s okay, son. He’s okay, everything is going to be just fine.”

TK hears someone ask if they can see Carlos in the background and he wants to scream please! but all that leaves him is a broken sob.

*****

Later, after TK had calmed down and gotten cleaned up, and eating after Owen insisted on it. Now wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, TK finds himself sitting next to Carlos’s bed, the beeping of the heart monitor the only sound.

He watches Carlos for a few moments, the gauze tapped to his forehead, the nasal cannula attached to his nostrils and curving down his face, secured under his chin. Carlos is covered with a blanket, but TK can see the heavy bandaging on his injured thigh.

Slowly, TK reaches out, taking Carlos’s now-warm hand into his and holding it gently. He runs his thumb over Carlos’s knuckles as he finds his voice to speak.

“Hey,” the word gets caught in his throat, and clears it before speaking again. “Hi, babe, I’m here and you’re okay. Everything went fine and they’re taking great care of you. God, Carlos…” TK draws in an uneven breath. “I was terrified. I was…I really need to see your beautiful, brown eyes opened. I need to hear your voice. I need…you.”

It’s not that TK had expected a response, but he wants to cry again when he doesn’t get one.

He mostly just sits there, watching Carlos breathe, until the door is pushed open and Owen appears.

“Hey, how’s he doing?”

“Okay, no change, his numbers are holding.” “That’s good,” Owen says. “The team send their love and support.”

“Thanks.” And before Owen can say anything else. “I’m not leaving.”

“Yeah, I know,” Owen nods. “I talked to the doctor, they’ll let you stay with him.”

TK’s shoulders sag, having tensed up, ready to fight to stay with Carlos. “Thanks, dad. For everything.”

“You’re not alone, son. You’ve got everyone. You both do.”

TK gives Owen a small smile.

Owen approaches TK, and TK gets up to hug his dad, one hand still holding Carlos’s.

“If anything changes or if you need anything, you call, okay?” Owen says.

“Promise.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in the morning.”

*****

TK doesn’t get much sleep. Between the nurses periodically rounding on Carlos throughout the night and his own anxiety, he probably gets a couple of hours of shuteye. He kept tossing and turning and often had gotten up to check on Carlos.

He’s nursing a cup of coffee when there’s a knock on the door and Owen steps in, shouldering a small duffle bag and holding a medium sized bottle of orange juice and a brown bag, which TK recognizes is from his father bagel spot in Austin.

He holds up the items. “Brought you breakfast. I know hospital cafeteria food, and right now knowing just from looking at you, that’s the last thing you need.”

TK smiles at that.

“And I thought it would cheer you up a little,” Owen gestures to the bagel bag.

TK nods. “It worked.”

Owen sets the bag on the floor near the wall and hangs TK the bagel and juice.

“Finish that first,” Owen points to the coffee cup.

“Nah,” TK shakes his head. “Gone cold a while ago.”

“How’s he doing?”

“The nurse that checked on him this morning says he’s doing better. He could wake up at any moment,” TK replies.

“That’s really great news, TK,” Owen smiles.

TK nods. “I just…really need him to wake up.”

Owen squeezes TK’s shoulder in response.

“Amber stopped by an hour ago,” TK tells Owen.

Owen looks a little confused.

“Carlos’s partner,” TK clarifies.

“Ah. How is she doing?”

“She’s shaken up, as expected. Physically she’s fine, needed some stitches for some cuts and she has a few bruised ribs but that’s about it. Kept apologizing for what happened. Said she was driving, I told her it wasn’t her fault. The other driver ran the red light.”

Owen stays for some more time before he has to leave for shift, making TK promise again to call if anything changes.

*****

The movement is minimal. TK would have missed it if he wasn’t waiting and longing for it. A twitch of a finger.

TK was leaning forward, careful not to disturb the wires connected to Carlos’s body, holding his hand while going through the texts he’s received from the 126.

He feels it, feels Carlos brush up a finger against his palm. TK pauses, not sure if it was his imagination or if it was reality.

Then it happens again and TK’s phone goes forgotten as he gets to his feet, watching Carlos’s face for any signs of consciousness.

He hears a groan next, throaty and low.

“Carlos?” TK breathes, his heart hammering against his ribcage. “Babe? Can you hear me?”

Carlos squeezes his eyes before very slowly peeling them open. His vision is blurry, seeing two TKs that slowly merge into one. Oh, those breathtaking green eyes.

A wide smile, the first true smile since all of this happened, spreads on TK’s face. “Hi, babe.”

“TK?” Carlos croaks.

“Yeah, I’m here, you’re okay,” TK assures his boyfriend. His eyes fill with tears, but they’re happy ones this time. “You have no idea how glad I am that you’re awake.”

“What—what happened?”

TK slightly frowns. “You don’t remember?”

Carlos begins to shake his head but stops midway, the action having proven to do more harm than good. Yeah, he’s on painkillers, but that isn’t stopping the feeling that his brain is getting knocked around his skull.

“Whoa, easy, easy,” TK soothes. “No sudden moves. Your concussion won’t like that.”

“Concussion?”

TK takes a deep breath. “You were in a car accident. You really don’t remember?”

“Remember you, the scene and then…darkness,” Carlos replies.

“Well, I think that’s normal with your injuries. But the important thing is that you’re okay.”

Carlos uses his strength to squeeze TK’s hand, and the firefighter can’t express his thankfulness at that gesture.

He moves to brush a kiss to Carlos’s forehead and then touches his own forehead to Carlos’s. He closes his eyes, breathing Carlos in, his shampoo mixed with hospital antiseptic and all.

“I was so scared,” TK admits through a whisper, the first time he speaks those words out loud. “I was…so scared, Carlos. The way your radio just cut off and then…coming up on the scene and how…”

From the way TK’s voice trembles, Carlos knows it’s bad. He just needs to know how bad.

“How bad is it?” Carlos finally asks.

“Let me go get the doctor,” TK tries.

But Carlos tightens his hold on TK’s hand to keep him from moving. It’s not a strong grip, but TK felt the difference.

“TK, please…” Carlos pleads, his brown eyes wide and well, how can TK resist?

“Okay. Well, I’ve already mentioned your concussion, you have a gash on your hairline which has been stitched, a bruised lung, but the doctor said that will heal, you just need to take it easy and they’ll monitor your oxygen levels. Your thigh is going to need physical therapy once it’s healed, your femoral artery was hit, but don’t worry,” TK quickly adds when he sees the gears turning in Carlos’s head, most likely going to a bad scenario. “It’s just to get your strength back and the doctor said you won’t have any problems with movement.”

Carlos visibly relaxes at TK’s words.

“I promise to be with you, by your side, every step of the way,” TK vows.

“You always are,” Carlos gives TK a tired smile.

TK leans in, closing the distance between them with a chaste, gentle kiss pressed to Carlos’s chapped lips. It’s perfect. And it’s more than that, it’s a reaffirmation that they’re going to be okay. And peace surges through TK’s body.

“Amber,” Carlos says. “How is she? And my mom, what—”

“Amber is fine, she visited this morning. Said everyone from the police station sends their love and support and they’ll visit when you’re up for it. And your mom was here yesterday, she’s doing okay. Asked me to update her, which brings me to this.” TK then grabs his phone from the foot of the bed where he had discarded it when Carlos wakes up and opens his texting thread with Camila. “I’ll have to text me dad, too.”

Carlos watches as TK types away. “So, is you and my mom texting a regular thing?”

TK’s eyes snap up to Carlos’s face and then are quickly lowered back to the screen. “No.”

Even silent, and lying in a hospital bed, tired and sore to his bones, Carlos’s power with the look should never be underestimated. TK feels it radiate off Carlos, aimed right for him.

“You text my dad,” TK points out.

“Yeah, to make sure you’re okay,” Carlos retorts back. “I have a feeling it’s more than that with my mom.”

“Okay, fine,” TK raises his hands in surrender. “I mean, it’s also about making sure you’re okay, but there may be another reason for texting with her.”

Carlos is waiting for TK to continue, but silence stretches between them.

“Are you gonna tell me the reason sometime before my stitches come out or?” Carlos quips at TK.

“No,” TK replies, planting a kiss to Carlos’s cheek. “Because it’s a surprise.”

“Ty,” Carlos groans.

“I promise, you’re gonna like this surprise.”

Carlos is about to say something but it transforms into a yawn.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get the doctor?”

“I’m okay,” Carlos says.

“Okay, I’ll just tell them you’ve woken up. But go to sleep, babe and rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Carlos gives TK a smile, feeling love and comfort when TK plants another kiss to his forehead. Carlos feels safe.

TK’s soft touch is the last thing the officer feels before drifting off to sleep.

TK watches Carlos, his heart just about to burst with so much love and relief. He got his biggest love back.

TK thinks back to the call yesterday, he never expected that it would lead to him sitting by Carlos’s hospital bed. They should be home right now, asleep in their bed, in each other’s embrace.

But they will return to their bed. They will lie in each other’s embrace. And they’ll have comfort and safety. He’s going to manifest that.

And the surprise TK was telling Carlos about?

It has something to do with Camila sharing recipes with TK.

It’s about a meal TK wants to cook for Carlos on a very special day that's quickly approaching.

[fanfic-corner]

Tumblrversary - 21st June 2021

It's official: I've been on this cursed site as this blog for a full year now. I'm not sure what exactly I've gained from the experience, other than more new friends than I can count and whatever the fuck November 5th had going on. Anyway, this is every single thing (of note) I've posted this year for you to peruse at your leisure, but mostly so my dumb ass can find it later :)

Destiel fic recs

My all time favourites

Alternate Universes

Apocalypse/Dystopia AU

Cafe AU

College/Uni AU

Soulmate AU / pt 2

Word Count

Under 2,000 words

Under 10,000 words / pt 2

Episode Specific Fics

15x18 Fics

15x19 Fics

15x20 Fics

Other Ships

Sabriel

Holidays

Halloween

Christmas / pt 2

New Year's

Sexualities

Asexuality and other a-spec identities

Bisexual Dean

Tropes

Bed Sharing

Case Fics

Established Relationship

Major Character Death

Slow Burn

John Winchester is an Asshole

Writer!Castiel

Wattpad

Fluff

Other fic recs

Ineffable Husbands

Natsby

Professor Layton

Cockles

A-Spec Across Fandoms

My writing

After (634 words) - AO3

Dean Winchester was dead.

You Only Live Once (1,238 words) - AO3

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied, his frown matching Sam’s. “What are you doing up?”

“I’m allowed to leave my bed, guys.” Dean pouted, plopping himself safely out of spaghetti splatter range. “I’m only dying. It’s no biggie.”

Heaven's Honeysuckle (2,591 words) - AO3

Dean is only meant to pick up the flowers for his brother's wedding, but the kind man with the blue eyes who works there keeps dragging him back to the small shop.

'I love you' (420 words) - AO3

"I love you."

Dean just stares at him.

All Alright (1,403 words) - AO3

Two people die every second. It was a fact Dean had learnt many years ago, from some shitty game show on some crappy motel room tv. Two people die every second, and Dean couldn’t help but feel like they were always people he knew.

A State of Normal (457 words) - AO3

Slowly, life returned to a state of normal that Dean hardly recognised.

Forever Intertwined (358 words) - AO3

Castiel was no longer an angel of the Lord. He did not have the power to grip anyone tight and raise them from perdition. In fact, for all intents and purposes, he was human.

That didn’t mean that there wasn’t anything he could do while he waited for his love.

nothing ever really ends, does it? (3,397 words) - AO3

Five different endings to Supernatural, because they deserved better. Each one is self-contained, and they are all varying lengths.

Darling, So It Goes (4,652 words) - AO3 / post

When Dean gets asked to be Santa for Jody and Donna's Christmas party, he does not expect it to end with a litre of chocolate milk over a homophobe's head, but he is all too eager to help out a man in need.

Wrapped in Red (7,265 words) - AO3 / post

New at being human, Castiel doesn't know a lot about Christmas traditions, but when a case involves them infiltrating a couple's only Christmas party, Cas wants the full experience.

Including mistletoe.

5 Birthdays Dean Had Without His Angel, and the One With (1,516 words) - AO3 / podfic / post

Six different January 24ths, and how Dean celebrated.

Who We Are (17,331 words) - AO3 / post

It was supposed to be easy: barge into the Empty, rescue Cas, confess his love, be back in time for dinner.

The man Dean rescued was not the Cas he knew.

Suez, My Beloved <3 (507 words) - AO3 / podfic by mistbornhero / post

There has been too much calm in the world.

Season 16, Time For A Wedding! (12,332 words) - AO3 / post

Dean and Castiel are inviting you to share in their celebration of marriage.

+ Dinner and reception after!

Whoever wasn't expecting chaos had clearly never met the Winchesters.

Gay or European ( ADD LATER ) - AO3 / post

When the British contestant for this year's Eurovision Song Contest is suddenly out of the competition, it's left to four Americans and their Irish friend to take the microphone.

Paige, their manager, has not packed nearly enough painkillers for the chaos this trip will cause.

death may love you more ( ADD LATER) - AO3

On a hunt gone wrong, Dean finds himself possessed by an old enemy of the Winchesters. Bela is out for revenge, and she is hell bent on ruining Dean's life through any means possible.

If that means breaking the angel's heart, then, well...

Tumblr Ficlets

Don't Mention It

23 (for an ask game)

Supernatural: The End

"You love her, don't you?" (Thasmin)

Podfics

Building the Michael Sword: Some Assembly Required (10 minutes)

Castiel gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition, everybody and their mother knows that. What is less well-known, however, is that he was also responsible for re-assembling the body.

Which he did with all the grace and patience of a man putting together a particularly difficult IKEA bunk bed.

The Tea is Decaf (25 minutes)

Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: "Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"

And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice"

[satendou]

⟼  the symbol for love

⟼ the language of flowers | next

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: akaashi/reader

⇢ au: florist!akaashi, college!au

⇢ summary:  akaashi’s love language is that of flowers

⇥  masterlist

⇢  warnings: mutual pining, flowers, soft smut

⇢  word count: 8.3k

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢  a/n: okay full disclosure, this fic only exists bc @keijiskitten​ sent in a picture of akaashi surrounded by flowers at the same time that i was talking about a roommate au. we talked more about it and she suggested confessing via flowers and i went overboard with it. this is another one i’m rather fond of and was written mostly with her in mind. so thank her for the idea!

It started off with heather, hyacinths, and jasmine.

Opening the door to the apartment you had been sharing with one Akaashi Keiji for the last seven months, you were hit with the delicate bouquet of fresh flowers, purple and blue and white, all artfully arranged in a vase on the coffee table. 

“Ah, those are so pretty, Akaashi,” you murmured to the man reading a book on the couch. It was a battered copy of 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne and he was already halfway through it. The TV played a black and white movie, the volume turned so low you could hear only the soft crackle of sound playing through the speakers. “What are they?”

Occupied with taking off your shoes, you missed the faint pink dust that crept over his cheeks at your praise. By the time you turned back around, it had disappeared. He had closed the book and pulled the vase closer to him, slender fingers pulling three different stems out of the container and laying them across his palm.

“Heather,” he said, handing you the purple flower. “Jasmine.” The white one was handed to you. “And lastly, hyacinths.” The final blue flower was handed over, and you held them to your nose, inhaling deeply. Your eyes fluttered and a soft smile crossed your lips as you looked over them at him.

“And what do these mean?” you asked, a teasing edge to your voice. Akaashi was both a book and flower lover, so you knew that there were meanings behind the bouquet, right down to the number of flowers. “They smell so sweet.”

Akaashi chuckled at that. He always loved your reactions to his arrangements. They were so pure and genuine, like the flowers he handled on a daily basis, and oh so fragile. Over the course of the last few months, he had picked up on your habits and emotions, noting each time you felt anxious you would pick at the skin of your lips and run your fingers through your hair, or how when you were feeling extra tired you would just throw your hair up in a messy bun or a ponytail and go about your business. His favorite by far though was when you were relaxed and at ease-- when your face would soften, your eyes would brighten, and you would look at him with a smile that squeezed his heart.

“They were for a customer today and I just liked the arrangement,” he answered, and the lie tumbled from his lips with such ease that it almost scared him. “But they mean beauty and solitude, love, and playful and sincere.” He pointed out each flower as he spoke its meaning, in the order that he had handed them to you, resisting the urge to graze his fingers across your knuckles.

He caught the flustered glint in your eyes as you stared at them and smiled in response. That was the look he adored and he worked his hardest to bring it out as often as possible, especially lately. Finals were coming up and he had never seen you more stressed and harried, staying out and up late studying or finishing assignments. The bags under your eyes caused him some concern, and he did his best to help you with things, but with a flower shop to run it wasn’t easy.

“Did you have any plans tonight? We could order in, if you want,” he offered, and hoped that the desire was well hidden from his voice. It was the weekend, and usually you spent Friday nights with your friends. That didn’t stop him from asking, though.

“Oh I’m sorry, I have a group project I have to work on,” you answered, and handed back the flowers that were still clasped in your hands. “I only came home to change and then I’m leaving.”

His heart fell, but he managed to keep his face straight. “Oh okay. I’ll see you later?”

“Uh, well I don’t know how late I’ll be, so don’t wait up,” you answered, your face the embodiment of apologetic. You wanted so badly to take him up on it, to get a break from the grueling hours of endless work, but the project needed to be handed in on Monday and no one wanted to be working on it all weekend-- not when there was studying and other assignments to be completed.

He could see the weariness on your face and took your hand in his, feeling his heart stutter when you squeezed back. Giving you a small smile, he said, “You can do this. Just a few more weeks and you’ll have a break. Just hang in there.”

“I know,” you said as you moved away from him, walking down the hall towards your bedroom. “Thank you for supporting me, ‘Kaashi. It means a lot.”

Then you were out of sight, the bedroom door closing with a soft click behind you and Akaashi was left staring at the flowers that spelled out all of the emotions he himself couldn’t express.

--

Two weeks later, you came into the apartment after a day full of nothing but stressful exams and irritable professors. On top of that, your thesis topic had been denied and you were more than a little anxious about trying to find a new one.

As observant as ever, Akaashi picked up on your mood the moment you texted him and frowned, looking at the bouquet he was currently working on. It was massive, standing taller than him and bursting with colors of all sorts. All of them symbolized love, cherishment, and a hope for the future. It was the final order for a wedding but he couldn’t care less about it all of a sudden.

Sending you a short message back, he returned to it, eyebrows now furrowed in concentration over on a different train of thought. Wracking his brain as best he could, he finished the arrangement up and called one of his employees to take it to the back, where it would be loaded up and taken to the venue. 

He helped put up the flowers on display in the coolers and then shooed the others out of the shop, flipping the sign on the door to ‘closed’. Moving into the back of the now empty shop, he pondered the flowers in stock, pinching delicate petals between his fingers as he went over the meanings for each.

Love, good health, solitude, remembrance-- it was easy for him to recall each, and he smiled as he landed on the ones he wanted. With a grace and quickness honed by years of practice, he put a small bouquet together, hoping that this small token would bring you some comfort.

And if that didn’t work, takeout from your favorite place probably would.

--

The door opened two hours after you had first texted Akaashi telling him your bad news. The response you had received had been lackluster, further souring your mood, and you were currently sprawled out on the couch moping with a mug of his tea.

Raising your brow at the way he held his hand behind his back, you took the bag he offered, instantly recognizing your favorite smells wafting from it. Your stomach grumbled, and you offered him a repentant smile because you knew he now knew you had neglected to eat that day.

Instead of saying anything about it, he just frowned before showing you what was behind his back, setting it on the table beside the bag, and your face lit up.

Pink, purple, and white seemed to pop in comparison to the rest of the room, vibrant and fresh, and you reached out, pulling one of each flower from the vase. The food sat forgotten on the table for the time being as you inhaled the blooms’ scents before offering them to him.

“Well, what are they and what do they mean?” you asked, and he chuckled at the enthusiasm written across your face. Over the last few weeks, it had become something of a ritual for him to bring home a few flowers for you, laying them on the coffee table for you to find when you got home from a late night study session or handing them to you as he left for work in the morning. 

It was hard not to appreciate how invested you seemed to be in it, and he tried hard not to read too much into it. That was far easier said than done though, especially when your eyes lit up with wonder and happiness, looking first at the flower and then at him. It was the biggest reason he did it, but it left him feeling empty in some ways, wondering if you would look at him the same way if he didn’t bring them to you.

Still, he wouldn’t stop-- even that little bit of attention meant something to him, so he took the flowers you now offered from your hands and spun the purple one between his slender fingers. 

“Violets mean peace, or in this case relaxation,” he said, and immediately caught the understanding dawning on your face. By the time he explained the meaning behind the peonies-- good fortune or luck-- it had morphed into something so unbearably soft that his insides twisted into knots that would never come undone. 

“And the jasmines mean-- love,” you said, and your expression morphed into confusion as you took them back from him.

“W-Well, in this case they’re just for optimism and good fortune. I guess a different flower would have been better--”

--but any other wouldn’t have meant the same thing.

He cursed himself for being so obvious and swallowed nervously, waiting for your response. In another situation, he might have said the look that flashed across your pensive face was disappointment, but he was sure he was just deluding himself. 

And sure enough, your lips curled up into your usual smile as you thanked him for the flowers, support, and, most importantly, food.

The relief was tempered by disappointment that you accepted his lie so easily before he launched into a lecture about how you should take better care of yourself and threatened to come to the campus and drag you off to lunch himself if he had to. The living room was filled with banter while you ate, suggesting maybe you wouldn’t mind him coming and kidnapping you for lunch if he would take you to your favorite restaurant. Of course he promised he would because that just meant he’d get to spend even more time with you and you didn’t look the least bit unhappy with the development. He tried to ignore the nervous fluttering in his stomach as you planned to meet at the restaurant around one.

That night, you stayed in with him watching old movies that he knew you didn’t like, sharing a blanket thrown across your legs, but he appreciated the way you kept picking them anyway. The flowers were moved to the kitchen counter, illuminated by the overhead light, and more than once he caught you looking at them with a soft, wistful sort of smile.

--

The first lunch date was followed by several more over the coming weeks, whenever the gap in your schedule coincided with his lunch break. Of course, he could take lunch whenever he wanted, being the owner, but Akaashi was nothing if not a courteous boss and chose not to do that to his employees.

Today you were running late, and your order had just arrived when you flung yourself into your seat, out of breath and grinning maniacally. It was the look you usually wore when something had both gone your way and was going to surprise him and it didn’t fail this time either.

“I got a fucking S, ‘Kaashi!” you said, slamming the paper down on the table between you. His eyes widened and you practically glowed at the stunned expression. It made his blue eyes sparkle, and when he looked up at you there was such pride in them that your heart skipped a beat.

“_____, that’s amazing,” he said, picking up the paper to examine it. It was littered with your handwriting, each answer meticulously thought out and he could even see some of his influence in your answers-- certain things worded certain ways or words he had said repeated in ink. There was something about knowing you listened to his advice that closely that made him anxious, and he couldn’t decide if it was in a good way or a bad way. “I’m so proud of you.”

This test had been weighing heavy on you for a month, and most of your focus was on passing it, since it was your worst subject. It was too important to fail, and you had stayed up late into the night working on your problem areas, with Akaashi coming in clutch with advice and explanations-- and coffee-- when you needed it.

A flood of adoration swept through you as you stared at your pretty roommate. He was the picture of calm, a gentle smile on his face as he gazed back at you, grey-blue eyes narrow with what you guessed was contentment.

Suddenly, this felt a lot less platonic than it had originally, and you tucked your hair behind your ear as you cleared your throat. You couldn’t go down that line of thinking, it would only lead to disappointment. No way was this gorgeous man interested in a stressed out, exhausted, anxious mess of a college student and you wouldn’t let yourself get your hopes up. 

“A lot of it was because of you, you know,” you said, schooling your expression into what you hoped was grateful and not at all nervous. He didn’t react other than a widening of his smile and a curious quirk of his eyebrow, so you assumed you had managed it. “I mean it. You explain things so well, it’s easy to understand. And you’re patient, even though you had to explain things to me like a hundred times. I would definitely have failed without you.”

His eyes widened again in surprise, his lips parting as if to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, he looked contemplative, a myriad of emotions swimming through his eyes but you couldn’t pick out any one in particular. At the end though, you thought there might have been something akin to melancholy as he looked down at his yet untouched food, tea long since gone cold.

Before you could ponder that, his expression settled back into the placid calm you were accustomed to and he said, “No, I think you could have done it. You put so much effort into studying, I thought you were going to pass out mid-exam. How many do you have left now?”

The conversation veered off into the rest of your exams and plans for the break in a week’s time-- of which you were unsure, since you had a few offers for vacations and trips-- as you ate.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur of papers, pens, and faces, and you were relieved to finally unlock the door to your apartment. Akaashi had texted you earlier saying he was going to be out late and you had slumped in disappointment, already wondering what you were going to do all alone that night.

But when you opened the door, you perked back up almost immediately.

Sitting on the coffee table was the vase, containing an iris, a yellow rose, and another white jasmine. In it was a note written in perfect, crisp cursive--

‘Blue Iris--faith. Yellow rose-- congratulations. I always knew you could do it, _____.’

For some reason, you couldn’t stop from plucking the jasmine.

--

Finals flew by in what felt like a whirlwind of late nights, coffee, and ink smudges. Every day brought tests, but every evening brought you a new flower and you were running out of space for them. 

Irises, yellow roses, red mums, tiger lilies, and peonies were taking up every ounce of excess space you had and your room smelled like a garden. You couldn’t be happier, either. Akaashi seemed to have a sixth sense for what you needed on any given day and you always looked forward to getting home.

On the final day of your exams there was another round of irises, roses, and jasmines waiting for you, and as you twisted the stem of the white flower between your fingers, you were tempted to ask why this particular flower always found its way into his bouquets. But a bigger part of you didn’t want to know, wanted to let it remain a sweet mystery in case he decided to stop. You knew why you wanted to let it be-- you were afraid that asking would lead to an answer you didn’t want, and the hope you harbored was a pleasant pain.

“So,” Akaashi asked, breaking your pondering, “have you decided what you’re doing for the break?” You were staring far too hard at the fresh white jasmine and jumped when he spoke, making him chuckle. 

You hummed in response, tucking the flower back into the vase on the counter and then looked over to him, perched on the stool beside yours. There was a book, another Jules Verne novel, sitting in front of him, a bookmark hanging out of the top. Resting your head on your arms, you said, “Yeah. A few of my friends decided to go to the beach, so I’m gonna go with them. I’ll be gone for a few days.”

“You don’t sound too happy about that,” he said, mimicking you. The air conditioner clicked on overhead and you shrugged. He tried to ignore the dull throbbing of his heart, wishing he could go with you. But not only had you not invited him, he also had no one to watch the store for him. “Do you not want to go?”

“It isn’t that,” you answered, but it was sort of a lie. You did want to go, to relax and have some fun, and you deserved that. But then why did you feel sad that you were leaving? You already knew, as you and Akaashi stared at each other, that it was him. Even for just a few days, you would miss him terribly, and he wasn’t even yours to miss. Sad, really, how pathetic you felt. “I just...I don’t know. There’s gonna be so many people and it’s gonna be loud and I just want to relax.”

“Then tell them you don’t want to go.” It was selfish, but he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. It managed to draw a grin out of you, even though you still shook your head.

“I’ve already committed. And besides, it’s only for a few days. Then I’ll come back and not do anything for the next week,” you said, and Akaashi chuckled. 

“Well,” he said as he sat up, and you automatically followed suit, “we should eat so you can pack, since I’m sure you haven’t even started.”

Groaning, you hid your face in your hands, but you couldn’t help the smile. “Don’t call me out. I’ve been doing everything perfectly for the last month, I deserve to slack off a little.”

Akaashi was already scrolling through DoorDash on his phone and laughed again. “Of course you do, but don’t complain to me about it when you’re up at 5am packing.”

“Oh, I will. Because you’ll already be up anyway. I don’t know how you do it,” you said, staring at the flowers once more. You didn’t even bother to ask Akaashi what he was ordering because he knew you like the back of his hand, and whatever he got would be something you liked. 

He hummed in response, placing his order before looking at you. “Wanna watch a movie? Unless you have something else planned?”

But you shook your head and his heart fluttered. 

“Nah, a movie sounds great.”

--

It was only a week, he kept telling himself. And yet he missed you to the point he was almost moping. The apartment still smelled of all the flowers he had filled it with over the last few weeks, but it was fading fast without you to bring new ones home too. He shook his head at his ridiculous train of thought. It wasn’t like you were gone forever, you were still coming home in just a few days.

And he wasn’t sure if it helped that you were constantly blowing up his phone. Pictures and videos of tidepools, fish in the aquarium you had visited, sunsets on the water, and meals with your friends flooded his inbox and he eagerly scanned each one, drinking in your content smile.

But even through a picture, he could see something was missing from it. He knew you too well and looked way too hard not to notice, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. At least until one video in particular of you in what he recognized as a botanical garden-- the high, domed ceiling made of glass and the condensation obscuring his view of the sky, not to mention the plants literally everywhere gave it away. You were staring down at a box full of white flowers, but were too far away for him to recognize them until whoever was holding the camera got closer.

A male voice called out to you, amused and maybe a little condescending if Akaashi had to say so, asking, “Hey, _____, watcha lookin’ at?”

You visibly jumped in the frame and cast your friend a nervous smile before it cleared up, and in that moment the something Akaashi hadn’t seen in any other picture showed up, just before you reached out and grazed one of the dewy white petals.

Jasmine, he thought, at the same time that you said it. Heat rushed from his ears down to his toes and back up as he recognized the adoration and unadulterated happiness in your smile, and not even the camera-wielder’s derisive laugh could quell the feeling.

“You and your plants. Well, what’s this one mean then?”

If you noticed the tone, you didn’t show it, only standing up straight and putting your finger up in the air as if giving him a lesson as you said, “Jasmine stands for optimism, good fortune, and positive energy. And--”

Love, Akaashi thought, once again at the same time you said it, and he had to sit down at the counter as his nerves got the best of him. He couldn’t take it, the way you stared into the camera with a sharp, knowing look, like you were piercing right into his soul. If his game was given away, then so be it, he was going to confess properly instead of hiding behind his flowers.

Your friend laughed again, and this time Akaashi could see the way you flinched and rolled your eyes, walking away as he mocked you.

“Sure, sure. You really believe in that? Sounds corny if you ask me,” he said, voice crackly through the speaker as the sprinklers came on. He cursed and the video quickly cut out afterwards, probably to protect it from water damage.

Akaashi rewatched that video three more times before finally sending you a text telling you he was flattered that you remembered so much of his ramblings. Laughing, he set his phone down and carded his fingers through his hair, hiding his face in his arms as he thought about what he was planning to do and the ramifications. Was there any way he could salvage it if you rejected him? Was it even worth the risk right now?

There was no answer to his anxious questions, so he did what he always did when he needed something to occupy his mind-- he arranged flowers.

A couple of hours later, your phone pinged with a new alert, and you swiped it open absently as you sipped at a pina colada, almost choking on it when the picture loaded.

Pink, white, and blue all mixed together in an explosion of color on what you guessed was his workbench at the shop. It was one of his most elegant bouquets yet, at least as far as you were concerned, and your curiosity was white hot as you texted him.

‘what are they, kaashi? what do they mean?’

You waited impatiently for him to answer, but he never did, not even reading it. You were a flurry of nerves all that night, warring between calling him, texting him, and just leaving it be. So distracted were you that you lost count of how many drinks you’d had, until you and the rest of your friends were so far gone the bartender cut you off and you made your way up to your rooms to pass out.

You had never been happier to be going home than you were that morning, hungover and still without an answer from your roommate.

--

Unfortunately, you made a mistake on the drive home. Still distracted by your anxious energy, you scrolled through your phone, liking and commenting on things absently while you listened to your friends chatter in the backseat.

Suddenly, a hand was on your shoulder and a rough voice was in your ear, asking “Do you want to go, _____?”

Not thinking much of it, you agreed, checking your texts again just to see if he’d even read the few you’d sent-- nothing, and you went from worried to hurt. Why had he sent you that picture and then just ignored you afterwards? He was still active on Twitter and Instagram, so you knew he hadn’t fallen off his step stool at the shop. What was his deal?

Your apartment building came into view at last, and your heart picked up speed. It was the weekend, he should be home at this hour. What was he going to say? Or do? You had never been so nervous to get home-- or go home-- as you were just then, but a hand on your wrist stopped you.

Looking to your friend, Eiji, you found him looking at you expectantly. 

“I’ll wait for you here, alright? Don’t keep me waiting,” he said, and laughed at the puzzled expression on your face. “You forget already, _____? You agreed to a date. But I figured you’d want to change before we went so…”

“Oh, uh, right,” you said, wracking your brain for when the hell you had agreed to that. His question from earlier drifted through your thoughts, and you could have smacked yourself for being so oblivious. It felt rude to just...change your mind right then, so you braced yourself to suffer through the date. Eiji was nice enough, if not a little pretentious. Nothing like Akaashi-- 

But you decided not to go down that path.

Grabbing your bag from the trunk, you raced up the steps to the apartment as fast as you could, missing the lock at least twice with how bad your hands were shaking. Flinging the door open, you startled Akaashi, who was sitting on the couch staring at yet another bouquet of flowers.

You stood staring at him, and him back at you, with wide, nervous eyes, neither of you saying anything for a moment, until--

“Welcome home.”

The irritation that had been building all day simmered over as you realized he had actually been ignoring you for no good reason, and then had the audacity to act like everything was fine.

“Hey.”

He didn’t miss the cool edge to your greeting as you wandered towards your room with your bag, sparing the vase on the table the smallest glance. The door closed behind you and you dropped your bag beside the closet, trying to ignore the anger and hurt flowing through you. Your head was starting to hurt again and you really just wanted to lay down for a nap, but your phone dinged, lighting up with Eiji’s name, asking how much longer you were going to be.

Ignoring the temptation to cancel-- you really didn’t want to be rude-- you hurriedly changed into something more appropriate and combed through your hair. Scrunching your nose, you winced at the sunburn you could feel covering your face, wondering how you had gotten it even with your religious use of sunscreen.

Akaashi was still sitting on the couch, the book he had been reading closed on his lap as he stared at the bouquet on the table. When you came into the living room, he perked up, a nervous smile coming onto his face.

“Hey, I wanted to talk-- Are you going somewhere?” He had just realized you had changed into a new outfit and there was a restless energy in the way you checked your phone. You had just gotten home, but you were already ready to leave again. 

There was irritation on your face as you glanced up from your phone, and he was unable to tell if it was directed at him or whoever was texting you, but it morphed quickly into apologetic as you sighed. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve got a date. I’ll be back in a bit. We can talk then?”

You didn’t sound too happy about that, and Akaashi definitely wasn’t, but his words stuck in his throat. A date. Jealousy bubbled viciously in his stomach, oozing into his heart and up his throat, and he jerked his head once, willing the tide to stem until you had left. It was his own fault, after all, for waiting so long to ask and then ignoring you for a day.

He was such a coward.

Staring at your phone again, you missed the pinched narrowing of his eyes and headed towards the door, waving goodbye before closing it behind you.

--

It was only an hour or two later-- you weren’t totally sure, since you weren’t even sure when you had gotten home and abruptly left again-- that you were dragging your sore feet up the steps to the apartment again. The date had gone horribly wrong, right from the start.

Differences of opinion, differences of interests, his disinterest in listening to you talk about anything you were interested in, it seemed like the two of you just couldn’t sync up to have an actual conversation.

Not to mention how you kept inadvertently comparing him to Akaashi, from the way he spoke to you to the way he spoke of other people, right down to the way he ate, for fuck’s sake. You had it bad, and the date was a terrible idea.

When you stepped into the apartment it was quiet and mostly dark, only the lamp on the side table on, and you wondered if Akaashi had either left or gone to bed.

The vase still sat on the table, illuminated in the soft yellow light, and you recognized red roses, tulips, carnations, and the ever present jasmine. Closing the door behind you with a soft click, you kicked off your shoes before sitting on the couch. As ever, the arrangement was flawless, all the flowers mixed together with perfect balance, and you burst into tears. 

It was too obvious, now that you thought about it.

Almost two months of flowers, at least one everyday, a bouquet for every milestone or when you were feeling down, his strange text yesterday and how he wanted to talk to you today-- you really were an idiot.

And then you get home and tell him you have a date-- it must have felt like a slap to the face, and the sick queasiness in your stomach was no less than you deserved for doing that to him, for being so blind.

As quiet as you tried to be, you must still have made too much noise-- that or he wasn’t asleep in the first place-- because there was a weight on the couch beside you and an arm around your shoulder.

Soft words you couldn’t comprehend were whispered into your ear, that same arm pulling you close into his chest, where it was joined by the other one around your back. The tears continued to fall, wetting his shirt, your fingers wrinkling it where they twisted in, and he held you until you finally quieted.

“What’s going on, _____? Did your date hurt you?” he asked and, now that you were calm enough to listen, you could hear the panic and worry in his words. 

Taking deep, gulping breaths to steady yourself, you shook your head. “No, nothing like that, I-- ‘Kaashi, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have agreed to that stupid date, he was such a jerk and all I could think about was you and then I came home and saw the flowers and I realized--”

He shifted against you, petting your hair as you stumbled over your words. He could hear the unshed tears building up again and rushed to soothe you before they could spill over. “Woah, hey, slow down. Why were you thinking of me on your date?”

You paused to look up at him, tan skin and blue eyes backlit by the lamp, face twisted in confusion and you had the insane urge to laugh. He was so beautiful it was unfair, how could he ever want a stressed out mess like you?

“I think I love you, Akaashi,” you whispered, and then dropped your eyes down to his chest, unable to stand the fear of rejection. 

A soft hand cupped your cheek, thumb sliding across your cheekbone before tilting your head up to face him again. 

His nose brushed yours and you swore your heart stopped, a soft noise leaving the back of your throat as he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Instead of answering, you closed the distance, grazing his lips in what could barely be called a kiss and only left you aching for more. He delivered, slanting his lips across yours, molding them together and your head spun with a mixture of relief and desire. The scent of the flowers on the table mingled with the smell that always came off of him, a heady perfume of hundreds of different flowers that you couldn’t get enough of. It clung to his skin, his clothes, and now you, and you allowed your hands to run over his shoulders and up the back of his neck, threading into the curls at the nape of his neck.

By the time you parted, you had crawled into his lap, knees on either side of his hips, and followed that up with several small kisses afterwards. His hands found their way up your shirt, stroking along your spine and squeezing your side as you rested your forehead against his.

“You’ve been telling me all this time, haven’t you?” you asked, barely a whisper, and he chuckled breathlessly in response.

“Yeah. I guess it was too subtle,” he answered, and then kissed you again. He couldn’t get enough, not after he had waited so long to taste you. His palms smoothed up your back, just beneath the strap of your bra, and you shivered in his hold. “I can show you now, if you want?”

You shivered at the warm promise in his words and nodded. “Please, ‘Kaashi.”

He hummed in response, leading a trail of kisses across your cheek to just beneath your ear. Nimble fingers unclasped your bra beneath your shirt, and then came back down to grip your thighs. With a strength you hadn’t expected, he hoisted you up from the couch, carrying you down the hall and kicking open his door. 

You had been in his room countless times before, but it took on a different view when you were laid on your back on his bed, surrounded by a dark grey blanket with him hovering over you. He was stripping out of his shirt, and you licked your lips at each inch of skin that was exposed. His muscles rippled as he pulled it over his head, revealing his lean chest, flushed as red as his cheeks as he caught you staring.

“What is it?” he asked as he propped himself up over you. He was still standing, your legs hanging off the side of the bed and he nudged them open, slotting himself between your thighs. Your expression was that of a deer in headlights as you looked from his face down to the bulge in his shorts, settled right against the crotch of your jeans. 

“You’re just-- so pretty, Akaashi,” you whispered, trailing the fingers of one hand down his throat and chest, watching the muscles on his stomach jump and flex. Your head was still spinning with all this new information, but you weren’t about to let it overwhelm you. Wrapping your other arm around his neck, you pulled him down for another searing kiss, his lips turning up against yours.

When he pulled back, he was blushing, but there was a steely, mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Not as pretty as you, kitten. I think these clothes need to go. I want to feel you,” he said, tugging your shirt over your head. You sat up to help him and followed that by throwing your bra to the floor beside him, and he groaned. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

Palming your breasts in his hands, he pinched your nipples between his fingers, feeling you shiver beneath him. Your back arched, begging him silently for more, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. You looked so good, sprawled out beneath him, eyes wide and pupils blown out, lips parted in pleasure. His cock ached at the sight, and he gave into the temptation to grind his hips into yours, eliciting a quiet gasp from you.

Fingers wrapped around the hard muscle of his bicep. “Akaashi, please.”

“Keiji. Say it,” he commanded even as his fingers trailed down from your breasts to your stomach. He smiled when you giggled but didn’t prolong it, instead flicking the button of your jeans open. They were tugged roughly down your legs and discarded, and then he was tracing the outside of your panties, watching you squirm.

Your lips parted as he ghosted his fingers over your clit, panties already dampe under his touch. “Kei-ji, touch me, please,” you whined, fingers digging into the blanket.

“Whatever you need, kitten. I’ve got you,” he said, pulling the gusset of your panties aside. You were already so slick, and you moaned when the pads of his fingers rubbed over your folds. The heel of his hand grazed your clit and you were desperate for more. “You’re so beautiful, _____. So wet for me.”

You nodded in agreement, tears of frustration beginning to sting your eyes, and you called his name when he finally sunk one long, slender finger into your tight heat. You clenched around him as his thumb found your clit, pumping in and out of you. A second finger soon joined the first, his heated eyes locked on your slick covering his palm and the way your pussy seemed to suck them back in hungrily. A mess of moans and his name fell from your lips, accentuated by the thrust of your hips as you seeked out more of his touch.

With a groan he sank to his knees, letting his tongue replace his thumb and he swore he’d never tasted anything sweeter on his tongue.

“God, princess, you taste so good,” he groaned against your clit, and you spasmed around him at the sensation. His fingers were long enough that you could feel him toy with your cervix on every thrust, and your toes curled when he grazed over the spongy spot on your walls. “Need you to cum on my fingers, okay? Then I can fill up this pretty pussy.”

You gasped at his words, not expecting anything that filthy from your soft spoken roommate. That coupled with the mental image of him sliding his cock into you drove you right over the precipice of your orgasm.

He moaned, feeling your walls clamp down on his fingers, and his cock twitched.

When he stood up, he drank in the sight of your heaving chest and spread legs, pussy glistening. Arousal and contentment flooded his system, purely happy that he finally had you laying before him as he’d dreamt so many times before, and he let his shorts drop to the floor.

Your jaw dropped as he pumped his shaft a few times, smearing the precum already leaking down his thick shaft. It was a good thing he had prepared you, but the thought of having to stretch to take him was equally tempting. The slick sounds made you squirm, wanting to be filled and stretched. You locked your ankles around his thighs, earning a chuckle.

“Patience, kitten. Slide up the bed,” he said, watching you move backwards until you were laying in the center.

The bed dipped under his weight and he crawled over you, shoving his knees beneath your thighs. Hoisting your legs up to lock around his hips, he let his cock settle against your folds. You shuddered when he slid across your still sensitive clit, whining low in your throat.

“Too sensitive, kitten? Want to stop?” he teased, and laughed at the look of panic that flashed across your face. You shook your head frantically, legs tightening around him, and he soothed you by cupping your cheek. “Me either. I’m gonna make you feel so good, pretty girl.”

There was a promise in his eyes, and you were still trying to connect the Akaashi you knew with this one, the one that was cajoling and teasing and making you ache with a need to be filled with his thick cock.

“Please, Keiji,” you murmured, laying your hand atop his and nuzzling against his palm. “I want you inside me. Wanted you for so long, please don’t tease.”

He smiled in response, guiding himself to your entrance and you moaned as the head of his cock slipped in and you accidentally clenched around him when you thought of having all of him. A hiss filled your ears and he thrust the rest of the way in, your cunt parting around him like it was made for him.

“Goddammit, you’re so tight,” he cursed, trying to control the temptation to rock his hips. You were trembling underneath him, and he braced himself up on his elbows, resting his forehead against yours. “Need you to squeeze around me again, pretty girl. Please*.”

You earned a gasp when you did, his hips jerking down into you, his pubic bone grinding your clit and you mewled his name.

“K-Keiji, a-ah, that feels so good,” you whined, tears pricking your eyes. Your legs tightened around him, keeping him in place as he rocked into you in short, shallow thrusts. 

“Good girl. You feel so good, kitten. So tight and wet. God.” His voice was low and gravelly, eyes shut tight as he fisted the blankets by your head. He kept up that steady pace, pulling out more and more with each thrust until he was pistoning into you. The wet slap of his hips against yours filled the room, mingling with your moans and cries of his name. Each thrust hit every sweet spot, the curls at the base of his cock tickling your clit, driving you quickly towards your end again. Your nails dug into biceps as your hips rose to meet his, and when he opened his eyes he found you staring at him with open love and lust.

His lips crashed against yours, forcing you to swallow the loud groan that he uttered when he slowed and circled his hips, forcing his cock even deeper into your tight cunt. Your back arched, forcing your chest against his, and his fingers tangled in your hair.

“Need you to cum for me, kitten,” he whispered against your lips, repeating that same circling motion. The way he rubbed your clit and ground into your cervix flung you over the edge with a wail of his name. You squeezed so tight around him that his hips jerked and he found himself cumming, painting your insides white, unable to pull away because your legs were still locked around him. “*Shit, goddammit*.”

He let his head fall to the bed beside you, sliding his arms up until he was pressed flush against you. Breathing shakily, you let your hands roam his back, spreading the sweat that had built up. Your hips were starting to hurt and Akaashi noticed them shaking and sat up, pulling out of you so he could put your legs down.

“Akaashi, I--” you started to say, but he cupped your cheek and covered your lips with his thumb, cutting you off.

“It’s still Keiji, pretty girl. And I think we can talk about this in the bath,” he said, helping you up and off the bed.

After the bath was drawn and you were settled comfortably against his chest, drawing random patterns on his skin, he let you speak.

“What’re we gonna do now, Keiji? We already live together, I guess. Nothing’s going to change, right?” you asked, watching drops of water roll down his skin. He was so warm and you found yourself wanting to fall asleep, you were so comfortable.

His soft fingers were trailing up and down your back, his arm resting on the side of the tub, and he hummed thoughtfully before saying, “Well, I’d like to date you, if that’s acceptable. Otherwise  no, I don’t believe anything will change. Other than I’ll fall in love with you even more, _____.”

The back of your neck grew hot at his words and you hid your face behind your hands, fighting the heat that spread all over. Your heart stuttered and you whined even as your eyes stung. That was all you had wanted over the course of the last several months, and now here he was telling you exactly what you wanted to hear. It was an actual dream come true.

Once you had fought the embarrassment back down you turned to look up at him.

It was a fruitless endeavor because the soft, loving gaze you met made it erupt all over again, and you kissed the smirk right off his pretty lips for it.

“I love you, Keiji,” you whispered against his lips, and smiled when you heard the words breathed back. Settling back down, you resumed your doodling, spelling out different things against his slick skin, and then asked, “The flowers in the picture you sent. What were they and why did you send it and then ignore me?”

He chuckled at the petulant tone, the sound pleasant in your ear where it rested over his heart, before answering.

“Well, you had just sent that video of you in the garden and after watching it, I decided I was going to confess when you got home. The flowers just helped ground me.” Guilt flooded you again as you remembered how you had brushed him off when you walked through the door and, as if he could sense it, he wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your hair. “It’s alright, princess. I deserved it after ignoring you. I was just scared to tell you because I couldn’t tell you the meanings behind them without giving myself away.

You relaxed in his hold again, tilting your head up to look at him and were floored all over again. You would surely never get tired of the soft adoration in his beautiful eyes and hoped it would never fade. “So, what were they then?”

“Azalea’s for homesickness, because you took my heart with you. Camellia’s for passion, because that’s how strongly I feel about you. Forget-me-nots for love, so you don’t forget. And jasmine because they’re your favorite, and I love you with my whole being.”

The words were whispered into your hair, the only other sound besides the gentle sloshing of water as he had started to rock you back and forth, fingers cupping your neck to hold you too him, and the tears that had burned earlier welled over as you realized how deeply he meant those words and how deeply he had embedded himself into your heart.

There was no doubt in his mind that the tears spilling down his chest were good, not when they were overlaid with kisses everywhere you could manage, and then you stilled, content to just let him hold you after that. No other words were said until the water grew colder and you shivered.

“We should go to bed. It’s already very late,” he murmured, and helped you to stand. His breath hitched as the water cascaded down your body, feeling arousal build all over again. He ignored it as you toweled off and redressed, snagging his shirt up before he could grab it and slipping it over your head. “You are not helping me to keep my hands off you, kitten,” he growled, grabbing you by the hips and guiding you towards his bedroom.

You let him lead you with no resistance besides pausing to wiggle against him and giggling when he sighed in mock exasperation.

“Maybe I’m not trying to,” you said, sauntering towards the bed.

“If that’s the case,” he answered, pinning you to the mattress. Your legs naturally came up to hook over his hips and his shorts slipped down, exposing his already hard cock. “I guess we aren’t ready for bed yet.”

⇥  masterlist 

⇥ taglist: @sluttony​, @visaintes​, @yunhosblackgf​, @super-noya​, @byebyes-world​, @newfriendjen​

[dreamiehrs]

a Christmas miracle ➛ z.cl

genre: fluff, comedy/crack, bestfriend!chenle, gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort somewhat

pairing: zhong chenle x reader

word count: 2,588 words

warning(s): some swearing

summary: Christmas had been the same old same old holiday for you and your family for plenty of years now, fully embracing the tradition of meeting up with family, exchanging presents, and enjoying each other’s presence on Christmas day. however, this year seemed to feel quite different, with your family quite literally forgetting that Christmas even existed, and with you all stuck in your apartment alone in the snowy city, you weren’t so sure what you were going to do for Christmas this year. unbeknownst to you, though, your sneaky best friend had a trick up his sleeve, and he was determined to make this Christmas one you’ll remember forever.

note: this is a part of mylin’s @suh-insane​ and sunny’s @neocitybynight​ Walking in a Winter Wonderland collab! this is my first time participating in a collab solely for Christmas, so I hope you all enjoy this fic of mine! Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! I hope you all have an amazing and safe Christmas this year, and I just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate and love you guys so so SO much! (and to the people who don’t celebrate it, I still hope you all have a wonderful day nonetheless!)

prompts chosen: “when we finally kiss goodnight how I’ll hate going out in the storm! but if you’ll really hold me tight all the way home I’ll be warm.” + “that’s what Christmas memories are made from. they’re not planned; they’re not scheduled. nobody puts them in their blackberry. they just happen.”

for the past few months, time seemed to fly by without leaving a trace behind, and before you knew it, it was already Christmas day. if it was any other year, you would’ve woken up earlier, around 6 AM to be precise, and start your trek to your parents house with their gifts in hand. however, since your parents and the rest of your family got caught up in other ordeals, and quite literally forgot that Christmas even existed, you had woken up quite later than 6 AM. 9 AM, if you were being specific.

you had still bought your family presents for Christmas, of course, and took the time to wrap them and spiffy them up yourself with various different kinds of Christmas wrapping paper you’ve collected over the years as a pro wrapper (in actuality, it was just your mother giving you extra wrapping paper when she accidentally bought too much, so you weren’t entirely a pro wrapper, per se). what you were trying to say is that you put a lot of thought into buying and decorating presents for your family, and you were sort of down about how you wouldn’t be able to give them their presents in person this year.

basically, what you were trying to get across is that you quite literally had no plans for Christmas this year, and you were probably going to spend your entire day wailing away in your apartment.

nonetheless, you pulled yourself out of bed after being in deep thought for thirty minutes straight, and decided to actually not wail away in your apartment for the rest of the day. it was time to be festive, you thought to yourself, as you slowly made your way around your room to move your curtains aside to let some sunlight seep in. although you were in a brooding mood, you didn’t entirely want your room to reflect that.

you huff to yourself as you slide your feet against the carpet floor, swinging open your closet doors and glancing over all of your clothes, none of them really catching your attention. you sigh before closing both of your closet doors dramatically, turning around and heading towards your dresser. you can faintly hear your phone buzz on your nightstand as you pull on one of the knobs on one of your dresser drawers that contains your pajama pants. you grab a random pair of snug pajama pants and opt to keep the same pajama shirt you wore to bed last night on before heading to the bathroom to change.

after taking some time to get dressed and brush your teeth, you finally exit your bathroom and toss the pajama shorts you wore last night in your hamper. you snatch your phone and stash it in your pocket before making your way towards your miniature kitchen. you promptly grab your kettle and fill it up with water, waiting for it to reach the third line before placing it on your stove. you move the dial until its exactly on high temperature, and you’re about to start to make yourself breakfast until you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

fed up with how active your phone had been for the past thirty minutes, you finally fish your phone out of your pocket and lean against the counter next to your stove.

your phone contained the usual notifications, such as Instagram likes, Team Snapchat sending you a Christmas snap, your best friend chenle spamming your phone- wait, your best friend chenle spamming your phone? that was FAR from your usual notifications, and you were honestly quite surprised that he was contacting you on Christmas day this year. he’s usually spending it with his family all day, and never texts you back until he gets back home, which is around eight PM.

without thinking, you unlock your phone and tap on the messages icon, and your jaw almost drops when you see how many messages he sent you within the past few hours. since 6 AM, chenle has sent you over one hundred messages, and for once, you were grateful that you were a heavy sleeper, because if you were a light sleeper and woke up to every single one of his messages, you would’ve lost your mind.

you [9:45 AM]: please chenle what do you WANT FROM ME

lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: WOW YOU’VE FINALLY WOKEN UP FROM UR DEEP SLUMBER

lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: I THOUGHT U WERE NEVER GOING TO WAKE UP

lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: took u long enough smh

you [9:46 AM]: ...is this really how you’re going to treat me on Christmas day??

lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: I treat you like this all the time. what makes you think that today’s gonna be any different?

you [9:47 AM]: …

lele the dumdum [9:47 AM]: anyways… MY GORGEOUS WONDERFUL BESTIE WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED FOR CHRISTMAS TODAY

lele the dumdum [9:48 AM]: DO ANY OF UR PLANS INVOLVE ME POTENTIALLY COMING OVER??? O.O

you [9:48 AM]: is this why you’ve been spamming my phone SINCE 6 AM!?!?!

you [9:48 AM]: also why were you awake at 6 am anyways

you [9:49 AM]: did your crush finally text you back or are you still drowning in loneliness like usual

lele the dumdum [9:50 AM]: I don’t even have a crush??? who told you that false information

you [9:50 AM]: the little elves running around my house whispered it in my ear last night

lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: I think you’re going to delusional

you [9:51 AM]: I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case at this point

lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: MOVING ON

lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED

lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

you [9:53 AM]: me planning to wail in sorrow all day is very important to you??

lele the dumdum [9:53 AM]: ...excuse me what?? UR GOING TO WAIL IN SORROW ALL DAY ON CHRISTMAS DAY!?!?

lele the dumdum [9:54 AM]: this is not acceptable. I am coming over right now to spread some of my FESTIVENESS AND JOLLINESS with you :D

you [9:55 AM]: chenle you really don’t have to-

lele the dumdum [9:55 AM]: TOO BAD IM OMW RN AS WE SPEAK

you [9:56 AM]: at least bring some festivities, games, and snacks with you 🙄

lele the dumdum [9:56 AM]: oh shit you have a point

lele the dumdum [9:57 AM]: BRB ILL BE THERE IN 30

you knew that once chenle had made his mind up about something, he wasn’t going to change it that easily, so it would be futile to try and stop him now. you don't bother replying to his last message, and you shove your phone back in your pocket a few moments before your kettle whistles. you move on from chenle tormenting you for twelve minutes straight and make yourself some tea and breakfast instead.

it was now around 10:30 AM, and you had just finished digesting your breakfast when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket again. you were lying down on your small, beige couch, with your cold tea sat on the coffee table a few feet away. you were still in your pajamas, with no intent of changing into actual clothes anytime soon.

once again, you fish your phone out of your pocket to see what nonsense chenle was texting you this time.

lele the dumdum [10:31 AM]: open up, bitch

you [10:31 AM]: I thought I gave you a spare key??

lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: shit I forgot it

lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: anyways OPEN UP

you lazily lift yourself up from off of your couch, grasping your mug of cold tea on the way to the door. you take your time unlocking your door, halfly because you felt like annoying chenle, and halfly because you were just over today in general.

the first thing that stands out to you once you swing open your front door is how different your outfit looks compared to chenle. he was all bundled up with plenty of layers to keep him warm while adventuring the city, and meanwhile you adorned white and pink striped pajamas with socks on. you also noticed that he had a dark grey bookbag on his back, and was holding two full bags in his hands.

the two of you stare at each other for a few more seconds until chenle breaks the silence with: “I think this is the most I’ve seen you look like a complete old person. there have been other times, but the old person persona is just jumping out at me right now.”

you roll your eyes. “don’t say that when you yourself have dressed up as an old person before.”

“yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off, passing by you to slip his shoes off and to take off his five hundred layers. “it doesn’t matter whether you look like an old person, it mainly matters whether you have the spirit of an old person, you know?”

“I cannot comprehend your words this early in the morning. we can have a conversation about whether I act like an old person later.” you say as you watch him remove his large, dark green jacket and place it onto your coat rack. you can hear him scoff at your remark, and you grin as you see the corners of his mouth lift up slightly.

“early in the morning? y/n it’s only-” he pauses to check his phone “10:32 AM. that’s early for you?”

“I woke up at 9 AM, you dum.”

“oh,” he swivels around to face you after taking his shoes off and removing all of his additional layers. “makes sense, I guess. you’ve only been awake for an hour and a half, so you’re probably not fully awake yet. I mean, I’ve been awake since 6 am, and I’m bursting with energy compared to you.”

you give him a deadpan expression in response to what he said, and he can’t help but burst out laughing at your reaction. he steps up beside you and pats your shoulder gently. “well, besides that, I’m gonna be the one who helps you burst with energy like I am right now! follow me!” he whisper-shouts a few inches away from your ear, and you can feel his hand leave your shoulder and grasp your right hand in a matter of seconds.

he leads you back towards your couch, and even somehow manages to help you set your mug down even though he has bags in his hands. the two of you plop down on your couch, and you almost melt at how soft and comfortable your couch was. you closed your eyes for a few seconds as chenle rustled through his bags beside you, and you don’t know how much time has passed when chenle starts to snap his fingers at you.

“y/n, I am not going to deal with your sleepy ass right now. I spent around forty minutes scurrying around the city to find things to lift your mood, and I am not going to let those forty minutes go to waste just because you’re tired.”

you groan and roll to the other side, facing away from chenle. “just five more minutes…”

surprisingly, you’re met by silence in response to your wish of wanting five more minutes of rest, but that silence doesn’t last when you feel something cold touch your face.

you screech and immediately open your eyes to witness chenle pressing an ice cube onto your forehead. you swat the ice cube off of your forehead as quick as you can, and stare up at chenle like he’s gone completely mad. “what was that for?”

he grins proudly. his plan had worked. “awake now? great. now, help me figure out what we should do first.”

“I think you’ve gone mad. I cannot believe you just woke me up by pressing an ice cube onto my forehead.” you complain, still feeling the coldness of the ice cube on your forehead. when you finally move to face him now, you see that he had brought plenty of things for you two to entertain yourselves.

“I could’ve done worse things, like dip my hand into freezing water and press it against your face, but I was feeling generous today, so I decided to spare you the pain.”

you scoff. “right. anyways, what’d you bring?”

he glances at you excitedly before getting into it. “well, I brought plenty of snacks, some fizzy drinks, some board games, some movies I rented that we could watch together, some candy, etc. I honestly brought everything that I thought you would like with me, so I really hope all of this is enough to make your Christmas day a little bit more festive. I may have also bought you a present, but besides that… let’s get this party started! ...y/n?���

he tears his gaze away from the couch to up to your face, and you don’t entirely register that you’re crying until a few minutes after staring into his eyes. “oh, I’m sorry… I just… I’m just really grateful that you decided to come all this way to cheer me up on Christmas day, and you brought so many things with you as well to make me feel better so… thank you, chenle.”

he beams at you even though he can feel a tear threatening to fall from his left eye, and instead of letting you see him cry as well, he quickly wraps his arms around your figure, bringing you into a tight hug. “of course, y/n. you know I’d do anything for you, right? if you’re down, I’m going to cheer you up in some way, shape, or form, and if you feel like watching the world burn, then I’ll be right by your side.”

“awh, stop it, you’re going to make me cry even more.” you faintly hit his back with your hand, and he giggles as a few tears fall down his face.

the two of you stay like that for a good five more minutes, which is enough time for chenle to regain his composure and act like he didn’t shed a few tears in the process. he slowly leaves your grasp, taking a good look at your face and wiping some tears off of your face with his thumb. “you know what I think will make you feel better?”

you grin. “what?”

he smiles before swiveling around to rustle through his bookbag, and your eyes widen when you finally process what he’s up to.

the next moment happens so quickly you can barely register that it’s happening. chenle swivels around with two nerf guns in his hands, throws you one that lands perfectly in your arms, and declares: “me completely destroying you in a nerf gun battle will make you feel better.” before he releases fire on you.

you shriek as you run across your apartment, trying to avoid the plastic bullets that chenle was littering your apartment with. eventually, he does win the battle, and it does make you feel better in the end, but let’s not mention that or else his ego will run wild, alright?

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

Love in True Form II

Warnings: Non-con, dub-con, A/B/O, loss of virginity, breeding kink, lactation kink, multiple pregnancies, multiple children, birth, maybe more, 18+

Word Count: 2,720

Pairings: Dark Alpha! Steve Rogers / Omega! Reader, Dark Alpha! Bucky Barnes / Omega! Reader

Summary: Reader moves to the country side to live a slower life she’s not used to after living all her life in the city. She meets two men who can’t seem to get out of her life, and she sees them everywhere. What happens when their instincts get the better of them?

Chapter summary: Reader starts to settle in and has her first meeting with a new client. 

- indicates POV change

~ indicates a time change

A/N: WOW this is completely overdue. Hope everyone enjoys, my masterlist should be working soon. ALSO the POV will stay first person, so sorry if you’re not into that. I’m trying to interoperate different writing styles, and I have plenty of other fics in 2nd person (3rd person will be next at some point in another fic) 

xxx

When I got home, I was still a little shaken from the two guys I had encountered. Their crystal blue eyes made me feel unsettled, yet I couldn’t shake the familiarity I got from them. Had I met them before? Were they there when I was scoping out this place a few months ago? Questions racked my brain, but it was impossible. The only person I had met was my real estate agent. Nobody had been around for miles, and today was the first day I had traveled into town. 

I decided not to think about it any longer due to the countless emails from patients trying to set up virtual appointments. I opened them up and started working my way through each person, delicately reading and responding appropriately with a time that worked for us both. 

-

Steve slammed down the supplies he had bought at the store into the shed. Bucky was inside working on the fire to keep them warm for the night. Steve’s body tingled as he remembered the omega they encountered, as he remembered her faint scent, saw her beautiful body. He felt his blue jeans get a bit tighter at the thought of having her as his own. It’s what they’ve been dreaming of for years, him and Bucky. 

Steve ventured back into the house to find Bucky pacing about with his hands behind his back. When Steve shut the door, Bucky turned to him, halting his pacing. 

“We have to find her.”

“I know,” Steve sighed, moving to the kitchen to start dinner. 

“She smelled magnificent, Stevie, I never thought I’d find someone. She was an omega. A real omega. They don’t exist anymore!”

Steve nodded along. He wasn’t ignoring his friend, quite the opposite actually. He was devising a plan to get their omega. He wasn’t sure how he would, but he wanted it to be as sweet as possible for her. But he also thought of possible reasons she was alive. It didn’t make any sense. Like Bucky said, omegas didn’t exist anymore. 

In their day, there were thousands of them. Steve was a beta then so he had no chance at them, but Bucky was always an alpha. From both of their understanding, omegas had died off while they were still in ice. The omegas had bred with alphas, nothing else was possible, but their offspring seemed to be only beta. Now, nobody really knew what alphas, betas, or omegas were; they were just humans. No special category to go into. 

“Steve?” Bucky was sweating at this point, the worrying for the omega was bringing his alpha out of him. He was looking at Steve with wide, blown out eyes. Steve smiled sweetly before clapping his hand over Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Buck, I know. Her scent hasn’t left me since we saw her in town, and I’d be lying if I said this all made sense. We’ll get her, though, don’t worry. I have a plan.” Bucky nodded his head and glanced at the ground as he put his weight on another foot. 

“When?” he asked impatiently yet gloomfully, meeting his eyes again.

Steve sighed and removed his hand. “We have to ease her into it, Buck. We can’t scare her or force anything, it’ll just make everything that follows way harder than it needs to be.”

Bucky nodded at Steve’s words. He knew what he said was true, but he needed his omega. Their omega. The thought of sharing an omega would typically never be an option for him, but with Steve it was different. 

Steve knew this girl had no idea what he or Bucky was. Hell, she didn’t even know what she was! She was going to be scared and reluctant, and she’d fight them until the end. They were going to have to shape her into an omega. No doubt she wasn’t taught properly how to be one, but Steve could be patient. He had waited this long, he could wait a little longer. 

Bucky switched from foot to foot one last time before retiring to the kitchen. Steve looked at his friend and shook his head. He had a feeling his Bucky wasn’t going to be as willing to wait as him. 

-

I was jerked from my dreams with a loud snore. I looked around and saw my small home completely dark, save for the little moonlight coming through my living room curtains. I sat up from my couch and grabbed the book that I had been reading, that had fallen to the floor, before making my way into the kitchen where my laptop sat. 

I pressed a few keys to wake up the monitor, and I looked at the time--when the screen lit up--to see it was half past 1. I scrolled to my email tab and saw a new email request from someone who wanted to set up an appointment. I clicked on the email and quickly typed in a response for a time to talk that suited us both. 

This Steve Rogers seemed nice. 

~

My hands ached as I planted the last cabbage plant into the ground. So far I had a garden of carrots, cabbage, broccoli, and celery. This new vegetarian diet was something I had never tried before, nor were these foods something I was particularly fond of, but I was more than willing to give it a try. 

I dusted my hands off and ventured inside the cabin to where my only two pieces of technology lay. I checked the time on my phone before setting it back down. I still had 15 more minutes before my online meeting with Steve started, so I walked to the fridge to cool down with water and have a break. 

I looked at my bookshelf and decided I needed more books. All I could fit in my car was about 30 books, but I had already read most of them. It wouldn’t take long to get through the rest, but thankfully Molly told me she had some I could have. I smiled to myself at the thought of being met with a bunch of planting books when going to retrieve the older woman’s stash. Not that I wouldn’t use them, though, Lord knows I certainly need to get better at this whole gardening thing. My hunger kinda depended on it. 

I was brought from my thoughts when my computer started ringing from the Skype app, causing me to frown at the screen. Who could that be? No patients were scheduled right now, and nobody else would want to call me; my family and few friends seemed to be shunning me on my choice to leave. Maybe they believed if they shunned me enough I’d come back to the city. I scoffed at that. Not a chance.

I pushed myself from the counter I was leaning on and walked to the screen to look at the ID. “Steven Rogers.” I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the clock at the bottom right hand corner of the screen. We still had 10 more minutes. Regardless, I reluctantly pressed “answer”; what else am I doing right now?

Skype connected us, but Steve’s screen was completely black. I checked my connection, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t hear anything, so I decided to wait a few more seconds for him to connect. His internet must be bad. 

“Steve?” I smiled at the dark screen, and hoped he could at least see me. Putting a face to a name and voice could really help someone who’s going through something; it can help them realize other people do care. 

“Hello?”

“Hey! Oh, erm- can you see me? Your screen is black, so I can’t see you.” It got silent for a second. 

“Oh, yeah I can see you. I don’t know why you can’t see me; I’m sorry it’s probably me. I’m not good at this technology stuff. I had a hard time turning on my mic, that’s why I was silent at first.” He gave a dry laugh.

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay. I had a hard time getting used to this when I first started, too, so don’t worry! You’ll get used to it soon.” I smiled at the dark screen, I was glad Steve could see me. “I should apologize for my appearance, though, I was working in the garden.”

“Oh, you look lovely, don’t worry.”

I blushed at his compliment and reached for the bag leaning against the table’s leg. Inside was a notebook that contained details about my patients. I didn’t like discussing much over email or text--I liked talking about it face to face, or face to black screen in this case-- so that’s why Steve’s section was mostly empty. All I knew was his name and that he lived about 10 miles from me. 

“Well, enough about me. What did you want to discuss today?”

~

Steve and I ended up talking about how he felt different from everyone else. He felt he couldn’t relate with everyone else and that he just felt alienated. I nodded the entire time he spoke, stealing glances at my notebook to take notes every few seconds. 

When he was done I asked him a few questions. Any reasons he may have as to why he felt this way, when did he start feeling like this? Was there any dramatic change in his life? He answered he used to feel normal, in his early years, but one day he just woke up and felt unable to relate to the people around him anymore. He even felt he lost family and friends. My heart broke in my chest as I jotted down more notes. That was something I could sort of relate to, I thought.

We talked about ways he could enter outside of his comfort zone, finding hobbies that others enjoyed in order to feel a bit more connected. Go to stores that, not many people shopped at, but enough to let him ease into a life that involved other people again.

I asked him if he had any social media. If he wasn’t comfortable with doing social things in person yet, there were plenty of groups to join online that incorporated fun activities and joined people together virtually. It could also be a good way to connect with lost connections and maybe make new ones. 

“Oh, no Doll, I can’t say I do. I’m not really into anything like that. I don’t even have a tv, and, as you can already see, have bad internet.” He chuckled again and I joined in a bit. 

“Oh yeah, I understand.” I had sworn off phones--except my cell that was stripped of everything except my contacts list-- and tvs, so I understood where Steve was coming from completely. “Well hey, no harm in that. Social media can be good, but in my opinion the best contact can be made face to face. No offense.” I laughed at the irony and Steve did, too. 

“Thank you, and I agree.”

I hummed in response and pulled out my calendar from my bag. I looked for a free spot next week, and saw an opening on Thursday at 3:45. 

“Alright, Steve, it’s been a pleasure speaking with you, but our time is up, sadly. I’d like to reschedule an appointment with you, if that’s okay, next week. How does Thursday at 3:45 sound?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Great! Okay, remember what I said. I look forward to our next chat. Hopefully I can see you next time,” I added with a smile and a small giggle.

“Me too, talk to you soon, Doll.” There goes that nickname and my blush again.

“Bye!” The call ended and I made a few more notes in my notebook before closing it. My next appointment wasn’t for another hour, so I thought maybe I could go to town to get some stuff I couldn’t grow myself--or at all.  

As I went to shower and look presentable, I couldn’t stop thinking about Steve. He was a charmer, and for someone who felt disconnected was able to connect with me fast. I tried to destroy the barrier I tended to feel with patients that had been made. They sometimes saw me as a figure, but I wanted them to feel as if I were a friend they could confide in. I was there to help them, yes, but I didn’t see the need in them calling me Miss. My name would do just fine, or any other nickname they picked up along the way, but Steve chose “doll” fairly quickly. He even asked me a lot of questions. Where I lived before, where I lived now, where I went to college, things like that. We had a lot more in common than I thought we would, though, so maybe that’s why we just clicked better. Everyone moves at different speeds, and I needed to remember that.

-

Steve pushed the laptop further down the table, away from him. He had a giant smile on his face, and he couldn’t deny the hard on he was sporting from just hearing her voice. He couldn’t believe the tape and microphone trick had worked. He felt bad about lying, but he didn’t want to scare her off by seeing him. Plus, he needed to hear her voice and her breathing for a bit, just before he started speaking. 

When she introduced herself to him, it took him everything not to repeat it over and over like a love poem his mother used to read to him. He wanted to draw her in her “messy” state, her hair sticking up in wild places; some strands sticking to her forehead from sweat. He wondered if that’s what she’d look like under him.

He disappeared into his room and shut the door. Bucky went back into town after he found they had forgotten something at the store. Steve had a while before he got back, and he decided to take advantage of it. 

Steve laid down on the bed and shimmied out of his suddenly tight jeans. He gripped his member through his underwear and groaned at the feeling. He stroked his member over the fabric a few more times, teasing himself, before removing himself from his confides completely. Steve’s rock hard cock sprung out and hit his stomach, slightly bobbing. He sighed in frustration yet relief at the feeling. The tip was fiery red with precum oozing out from the slit. He spit into his hand before grabbing the base firmly. 

Steve stroked himself, slowly at first, up and down. He moaned and panted as his hand got him off, his mind on the woman and her sweet voice the entire time. How her boobs would look when they were released from the tight black shirt she had worn in the meeting. How she’d look begging for her alpha’s fat cock to plunge into your tiny cunt, milking him and bringing on his knot. How’d it feel to claim her and ceal you both in a bond. How she’d look carrying his pups, her tits leaking for milk he’d happily drink up. Steve took a break from working himself to tease his tip with his thumb, shuddering a bit before he pumped himself faster as his moans got louder and more desperate as his need to cum became greater and greater. He was whining the omega’s name like a chant as his other hand reached down to start playing with his balls. His hips were rising, fucking his fist harder and harder. He moaned a few more times before he felt the sweet swell of his cock as his knot grew. Spurts of cum flew from his pulsing member as he worked himself through his orgasm. He continued to roar and growl her name as he came down. 

When Steve was satisfied, he just stared at the ceiling, a smile still playing at his lips. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cum that hard. Hell, he couldn’t even remember the last time he was that hard! As he waited for his knot to subside, he started cleaning up his mess and headed into the shower. Bucky would be home any minute now, and he had to tell him everything that he had learned about you. 

xxx

[julyarchives]

So Bad

You couldn’t find a better way to put your feelings into words, so you let a song speak for you when you couldn’t hold back your feeling for Changgu.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader 

→ Genre: Fluff; Song Fic

→ Words:  1.9K

→ Contains: song inspired plot and mention of that song; StayC - So bad

→ A/n: Thank you so much for the sweet 🌻 anon who requested this story and introduced to us this really cool song. Writing this was really fun and we hope you enjoy reading it!

There is sort of a sequel for this story, that you can check it here

When you auditioned to be a trainee, the last thing you expected was to fall in love. Especially with your senior. But you also didn't expect to be friends with the sweetest man you've ever met. You first knew Changgu as Yeo One, and he was a just a professional you looked up to, but then he turned out to be a really thoughtful person and always helped you with your choreographies, vocals and stage presence training. In the end, you became good friends, but to you there was something more since the beginning. 

He ended up being your best friend and spending all free time together  having platonic lunch dates in between schedules and just hanging out all the time. But everything he does built up in you a feeling that was harder and harder to keep it to yourself, and you were beginning to take notice that he might just feel the same.

That's when you started to get bold. Here and there you would risk to hold his hand, to which he would blush like mad and stutter around "what are you doing" and avoid to look you in the eyes for the next 20 minutes. You would cook him lunch and drop by his dorm sometimes, and one day when you felt particularly confident, you risked a kiss on the cheek when saying goodbye after a shopping date - his reaction was priceless and cute.

But it was hard to  get something from him, he was either too shy or too scared to face that he might like you the same way you like him, but you were tired of this, so you decided to put an end to all the chase games and just confess to him. Though it wasn't something easy to do, to simply put your feelings into words, you didn't even know where to begin. Finally, you had the best idea.

You dressed up in your cutest outfit and carefully styled yourself, wishing everything to go flawless. You texted Changgu to meet you at the practice room, and he showed up just on time as you were finishing to get everything set up.

"So" you began, butterflies dancing around in your stomach "I’ve been trying to say something lately, but I didn’t exactly know how to do it, so I hope this says it all.”

Changgu nodded, taking a seat on the corner of the room, watching you attentively.

The music began and you threw yourself in it with all of your passion.

You stole my heart

You stole my heart

I need your love

I need the patch of love

Call me next to you

And I’ll never go away

If I show you everything in my heart

Then it’s no good

I don’t care if you call me childish

I like it like that

You sang and didn’t break eye contact, Changgu smiled shyly at your confidence.

Baby, no matter how much you push me away

Things won’t change

It’s clear that I like you

I can’t help it

For real, I want you so bad

I need you, yeah

My my my my head,

my head

Is filled with you baby

From the start, I want you so bad

I can’t ever stop

My my my my heart,

my heart aches

Because of you

You approached him and pulled him by the hand so he was standing in the middle of the room, and you danced the choreography around him. His gaze was trained on you, and you felt proud and confident, finally getting the message to him. 

The music came to end and you stopped directly in front of him, you two staring at each other in silence until you spoke up.

“Was I clear enough this time?” you grinned victoriously as he looked at you in awe

“Do you really mean that?” He said, the shy smile you loved bright is his lips.

“Of course, I thought I was obvious all this time” you laughed together

“But y/n” he held your hand, and your heart skipped a beat at the gesture “are you sure you want this? It could be dangerous, if anyone finds out about it it could delay your debut or…”

You cut him.

Your lips gently touching his’ caught him by surprise, yet he didn’t pull away. It was just a shy peck, just testing waters and seeing if he was really in for it.

“I don’t care, Changgu, I just wanna be with you” you said once you broke apart. His usual blush was more prominent and you took a step back, just in case he needed space. 

“Y/N, I feel kind of bad for making you so much that you had to confess… I’ve liked you since you first showed up…”, he held your hand once again and it was then you noticed you were slightly shaking. “I was scared to make a mistake, to put our careers at risk. Not to mention I wasn’t sure if you felt the same”, you opened your mouth to say otherwise but he smiled and raised a finger, mentioning for you to wait, “now I know I was just insecure but it’s hard, especially in our reality, you know?”.

You nodded at his words, your heart feeling like it would beat out of your chest and you could only feel more love for him as he spoke. He was looking at you with care and it was so soft you almost melted away. The hand that held yours was moving so it could caress your arm, then up to your shoulder and then your cheek, his smile never faltering. 

“Truth is, I always felt like you were special. You had a sparkle and such energy in you, you were always so sweet and kind, there was no way I could help falling for you”, his shy smile now was filled with confidence and a determination you only saw when he was practicing. 

It was Changgu’s turn to kiss you, a sweet peck on the lips. It was longer than the first one and you decided to hold his arm to continue on. It was what he needed to hold your waist and your neck and pull you closer for a much deeper kiss. Your mouths moved loudly enough to make you blush but you didn’t care. It was heaven and you couldn’t get enough of him, his perfume stronger from being so close to him. You let out a small whine when he parted the kiss, earning a giggle from him. 

“See? You’re so cute, Y/N. How could I not want you for myself?”. You smiled. He took your breath away in every sense possible and you loved it. 

“You never thought I could be so bold, right Changgu?”, you poked his chest, laughing along with him.

“I didn’t. I actually thought I’d lose my restraint and confess some day randomly when we were having lunch or something. But you beat me to it and even prepared something, I need to up my game, Y/N!”, you two laughed and you turned, embarrassed, with the excuse of having to clear the practice room before someone could walk in. 

Changgu wordlessly helped you, both of you nervous but also happy, moving in sync with each other around the room. When everything was back in their place, you both stared at each other for a few seconds before Changgu picked your purse for you and held out his hand. You took it without a second thought and walked out of the building. Thankfully it wasn’t filled with people so you two went unnoticed. Your feet stopped at the bus station and you stared at him with questioning eyes.

“Where are we going?”, your hand never left his and you could feel his confidence as he stood straight, proudly holding you. That got the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy and you couldn’t help to smile at him. 

“I’m taking you to dinner. In fact, wait here”. Changgu kissed your forehead and walked away to dial on his phone. You shrugged and hoped he wouldn’t blow his money on a fancy restaurant that you needed to make a reservation to go to. He came back a few moments later with a sleazy smile and held your hand again. 

“So, what was that about?”, you were even more confused at his actions when he smiled brightly and shook his head “no”, as if he wouldn’t tell you. 

“I’ll tell you later, the bus arrived”!, he guided you into the bus and you questioned yourself how lucky he could be to be saved by the timing of the bus. 

The ride was a few long minutes, with you two sharing earphones and listening to the most romantic playlist you had saved on your phone. The hands clasped together were hot and you were slightly scared of them getting sweaty, but when you moved to pull it back, Changgu held it tighter with a nudge shoulder to shoulder. When the bus finally came to a stop where Changgu got up and you followed, you had to walk a few more blocks before you saw a sweet looking old lady waving at him with some of his friends next to her. You took a look at him and he only waved back, holding you close. 

“Hello, my boy! The girl is beautiful! Even more than what I imagined. The boys and I got it all ready, you know where everything is, make yourself at home! We’ll be back in three hours!”, the lady spoke quickly with the most pleasant expression you ever saw. She nodded at you and at him, mentioning for his friends to come along with her and they only followed, nodding to the both of you on their way out. 

“Let’s get inside”, he said happily. 

You followed with answering as he was already moving, it was clear he was in a rush, nervous even. When you managed to get inside the place, you noticed it was a small family business restaurant, the aesthetic was very cozy and the decorations made you feel at home. The smell of food made your mouth water so fast that you had to stop yourself from following the scent. You saw one table prepared in the middle of the room, all the others were stored like the place was closed. The table was set with white and red cloth and fine yet homely porcelain plates with some cute glasses. There were flowers around, not much but enough to make the place look like a dream. You felt your eyes watering and your hands started to shake again.

“Changgu, what-”, you turned to ask him but he was standing tall next to you, holding a small bouquet of colorful flowers. 

“I told you I needed to up my game”, he laughed softly, “I told you everything before, Y/N, but I want to tell you again that I won’t be scared anymore. I can face anything, even the consequences, if I have you. The song you sang was always in my mind when I looked at you so you couldn’t pick up a better song”, he held your hand, tears now falling freely from your eyes. 

“From the start, I want you so bad…”, he sang low. “Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?”.

[mininacl]

surely you must know (how much i love you so)

my fic for @batfam-big-bang

summary: Timothy Drake, adopted son of billionaire by day, superhero Red Robin by night. He's used to keeping secrets, but one secret he's having trouble keeping is his feelings for his best friend.

word count: 7.1K

Tim sits at his desk, staring blankly at the screen. He watches as the text cursor blinks. The essay is due tomorrow, but he hasn’t started, hell, he hasn’t even written his name on the document. Tim’s mind is distracted by all the unsolved GCPD cases. He has to solve them and let the families have the peace of knowing the criminals have been caught. But having to balance his day-life and his night-life is taking a toll on him. He already feels the effects of staying up for 36 hours without any sort of sleep. He can’t pay attention, he can’t eat, his motivation is lagging, and he is having a hard time speaking. Those are normal side effects, and he ignores the little voice in the back of his head saying yeah, of depression. He stays up so much that it doesn’t really affect him as much as it used to. Tim knows how to focus with no sleep, but that was for cases and not for essays.

Tim stares at the screen a few seconds more before closing his laptop. He rubs his eyes, stands up from his desk and stretches, feeling his back pop and he sighs in relief. He grabs his cup that says “fr e sh voca do”. Conner got it for Tim’s birthday last year. It has been his go-to coffee cup since. He walks downstairs to the kitchen, wanting to fill up his cup again and maybe get something to eat. Cassandra is sitting at the table, eating some strawberries while she looks outside. She looks lost in her thoughts, but she still hears Tim come into the kitchen. She turns to him and gives him a small smile. Tim smiles and waves back.

“So, Cass, how are you doing?” Tim asks Cass, sitting down across from her.

“ I’m doing good, ” Cass signs. Tim reaches over and takes one of the strawberries.

Plopping it into his mouth, Tim says “You sure? No one is ever ‘good’ in this family.”

“ I am doing good. Nothing else to it. How are you doing? Have you slept yet? ”

“Naw, I haven’t slept yet. I’m doing as good as I can with the lack of sleep.”

“ You need to sleep. ”

Tim looks at Cass. Cass is picking at the leaves on the strawberries. She never picks at her food.The only time she does pick at her food, or really anything in general, is when she is upset or has something on her mind.

“I will sleep when you tell me what’s going on”

Cass pauses. She stops eating the strawberries and looks up at Tim, she looks surprised that he knew something was up. Tim pulls the container of strawberries closer to him and  stares at Cass, waiting for her to spill. A few moments pass before Cass reaches over to grab the strawberries again. She looks like she’s hesitating to tell him, not wanting to talk about something. They sit in silence for a while, the only noises that can be heard are the ticking of a clock and the sound of Tim chewing on strawberries. Cass’s eyes drift to the window that overlooks the garden. Her eyes stay focused on one rose for a while before she looks back at Tim.

“ I have been thinking a lot recently. ” Cass signs.

“What have you been thinking about?” Tim asks Cass. He stops eating, wanting to show Cass that his full attention is on her.

“ I’ve realized something...about me, ” Cass pauses, she's shaking a lot. Tim reaches over to place his hand on her arm, trying to calm her down. They sit in silence for a bit. Cass slowly starts to calm down but Tim can tell she is still nervous.

“Hey, you don’t have to tell.” Tim says, breaking the silence that surrounded them. “I’m not going to force you or bring it up, I’m just here for some food” He adds a little laugh at the end, hoping that it makes Cass comfortable. Cass smiles at him a little before she grabs another strawberry, raises her arms.

“ No, I need to. I want to, ” Cass takes a deep breath, before signing again. “ I am asexual. ”

Tim tries not to look a little surprised, but it’s hard not to. He notices that Cass looks worried. Worried isn’t the right word. Cass looks scared. Tim smiles at Cass, before taking a sip of his coffee.

“I have something to admit too.” Cass looks at Tim, intrigued.

“I am pansexual. I could love anyone.” Tim smiles and laughs a bit. This is the first time he has admitted outloud that he is pansexual. Cass smiles back at Tim, happy that she wasn’t the only one who is in the LGBTQ+ community. They both look relieved at the confession. Tim thought he was alone, and perhaps Cass thought that no one would accept her for being asexual. But it isn’t like that. Tim still loves his sister and he's happy that she trusts him enough with this information.

“Thank you, Tim.” Cass smiles. She moves to get up, wanting to hug Tim and to put the strawberries away. 

Tim follows suit, telling Cass as he got up, “I need to go and work on the cursed boy.” 

Tim is grabbing his coffee from the table, when Cass stops him. How she got over to Tim so quickly is a mystery but it's not surprising. She places the strawberries down, and moves Tim’s coffee away from him, both to avoid a spill and to keep Tim from  trying to grab it. Cass wraps her arms around Tim, he hugs her back, squeezing her a little. When Tim moves to get out of the hug, Cass doesn’t move. As much as Tim wants to question her, he doesn’t. Cass finally releases her grip on him, picks up the strawberries and places them in the fridge, before walking away.

Tim goes back upstairs and sits down again at his desk, and starts to write. The talk with Cass has sparked some inspiration. Tim writes and writes all day. By the time he is done, the sun has set. He hasn’t eaten since his talk with Cass, and he wants to eat, but he has a craving for fast food. He grabs his phone and shoots Conner a text, asking to meet up at BatBurger. Instantly, Conner says he will be there in a few minutes, and Tim rushes to get ready. His clothes are wrinkled and his hair is a mess but it doesn’t matter. After a few days of no sleep, he doesn’t care about a lot. Tim grabs his phone and keys, and heads downstairs. He passes by Alfred, tells the butler that he is having dinner with Conner. He's too busy rushing out that he doesn’t hear Alfred's reply. Alfred watches the boy run out of the house, shaking his head. 

Tim races down the streets on his motorcycle, hoping to get to BatBurger before Conner. He narrowly misses being hit by a truck, and the truck driver honks but Tim just ignores it and continues on his way. It takes a few minutes, but he pulls into the BatBurger parking lot. Tim parks and looks around, not seeing Conner anywhere. With a big smile, internally cheering that he arrived first, Tim walks into BatBurger, scanning the place in case of threats. His smile drops when he notices Conner sitting in a booth by the window.

“How is it that I live only 20 minutes away, and you live in a different city, yet you always manage to beat me here?” Tim asks Conner as he walks up to the booth.

“Because I have some time management skills. Plus, I can fly.” Conner tells Tim, smiling smugly.

“You know what? I don’t need the sass Kon-El.” Tim was going to sit down, but instead he turns and walks up to the counter and waits in line. Conner shakes his head as Tim walks away. Tim orders some food for the both of them, he knows what Conner likes by now. He turns back to Conner, and they start to make faces at each other from across the restaurant. Conner is laughing softly at the booth, but Tim can’t laugh since he doesn’t want to seem crazy. The order arrives and Tim grabs it and walks back to the booth.

“Here you go, Kon. You owe me.” Tim says as he places the food down and sits across from Conner.

“You were the one who asked me to meet you here…but fine.” Conner steals one of Tim’s fries, even though Tim made sure to get him his own fries. Tim tries to slap Conner’s hand away but is a little too slow.

Tim feels at ease with Conner, it is so easy to talk to him. He feels safer around Conner. In some moments he freezes, words dying from his mouth when Conner smiles at him. Tim is in love, but he is too scared to say it out loud. He is scared that he would break Conner’s trust and he would lose him. They are best friends and admitting something that big could ruin the friendship. But Tim wants to kiss Conner, and oh so badly he wants to admit that he loves him. Tim knows he doesn’t have to hide his heart, but it is scary. He shouldn’t be afraid of the words he wants to say. This game of love should be played out loud, but Tim is scared, he knows how people like to talk. He is the adopted son of a billionaire, the CEO of Wayne Enterprise, and a hero. He has faced so much, from rumors to fake scandals, this shouldn’t bother him. Yet it does. It shakes him to the core.

“-im. Timothy. Timmy. Tim. You in there?” Conner asks as he pokes Tim on the head. Tim shakes his head, not realizing he got lost in his thoughts and worries.

“Yeah, I’m here. You didn’t have to poke me.” Tim takes a sip of his drink. Surprisingly it isn’t coffee but water. He needs to drink something else besides coffee for now. Or at least for this meal, anyway.

“I called your name several times and you still didn’t answer me. So I had to poke you.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

They go back and forth for a while before Tim finally admits that Conner had to poke him. Sighing in defeat, Tim munches on fries. Conner just smiles at Tim. They finish eating and sit in silence. Tim wants to tell Conner in that moment but he can’t. He told Cass earlier and that was enough secret telling for him today. Tim pulls out his phone, checking the time. He pretends he has to leave, in reality, he was getting more nervous around Conner. He was so close to telling Conner he loves him.

“Lets hang out more, Tim. It's nice to get away from our crazy lives.” 

Tim gets up as Conner finishes talking, putting their trash onto the tray. Conner stands up and puts a hand on Tim’s shoulder, turning Tim to face him. Conner pulls Tim in for a quick hug before grabbing the tray and walking away from Tim. Conner turns once more at the door, and gives Tim a smile before exiting Bat Burger and flying away. Tim stands there. His heart is beating fast, and he is blushing a little. He shakes his head before exiting BatBurger and heading to his motorcycle. He drives back home, a smile on his face.

Tim gets home and goes to his room without saying anything to anyone. Even though it hasn’t been a busy day, he still feels exhausted. From having to do the essay, to coming out to Cass, and dinner with Conner, he needs to relax for a bit before having to leave for patrol. He puts on some music, and lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling fan, watching it go around and around. Kiss the Boy by Keiynan Lonsdale plays from the small speaker Tim has. He knows the song, hell he plays it on repeat. It hits home for him. Not knowing what to do after all that happened today, Tim gets up and goes to work on some of the case files he has in his room. The song keeps playing as he works.

I might not say the one thing on my mind cause it’s too tough

But we lose our chance when we don’t try

On second thought yeah I think I might

The lyrics make Tim think he should tell Conner. If I don't tell him, I run the risk of losing Conner to someone else, but if I tell him I run the risk of losing Conner if he doesn’t love me back, Tim thinks. He doesn’t know what to do, all the different possible outcomes form in his head. Tim shakes his head, wanting to focus on the unsolved cases rather than his feelings for Conner.

Don’t want to hide

Don’t want to hide

Most of my life I’ve been terrified

Spending my days always questioning

Am I wrong to love a man

I realize

I realize

Ain’t gotta hide this heart of mine

I’m gonna fight just to let you know

To open your light and let it glow

Tim pauses. He rewinds the music and listens to the lyrics again. He feels as if they were meant for him. He has never realised that deep down he questions if it is wrong to love Conner. The unspoken fear that has made its home in his heart long before he even knew he loved Conner, yet in his heart he also knows that it doesn’t matter if people say it's wrong. All that matters is that he wouldn’t have to hide anymore. The fears he has have stopped him, but after hearing that it isn’t just him that feels like that a burst of courage came to Tim. Tim grabs his phone and texts Conner before he can stop himself.

“I love you.” “And I don’t mean as friends”

The burst of courage that had come, was now gone. Tim looks at the texts in panic. He throws his phone onto his bed and jumps up. Pacing around, he doesn’t hear the chime of a text alert from his phone. His breathing starts to get heavier, and tears form in his eyes as he paces, worrying over how Conner will react. After wearing the carpet thin, Tim finally picks up his phone again, heart pounding. He sits down and prepares himself for rejection. Tim unlocks his phone and checks the text conversation between him and Conner.

“I love you too” “And I definitely dont mean as friends lmao”

Tim stares at the texts in shock before letting out a small laugh of relief and joy. He wipes the tears from his eyes and grabs the water bottle he keeps by his bed. After chugging the water and throwing it into the trash bin, Tim gets up and shakes his hands, grinning like a fool. He has to get his head into the game. Patrol was starting soon, and if he didn’t make it to the cave in time Bruce would get worried. Tim looks at his texts again, smiling at the screen, before locking his phone and placing it under his pillow. He can’t risk having siblings going through his phone. Tim leaves his room, heading to the cave.

Tim arrives at the Batcave just in time. Bruce looks over at Tim and raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. Jason is too busy cleaning his guns to notice that Tim arrived, Dick is spinning in the chair that sits in front of the computer, and Damian, just like Jason, is cleaning his weapons. Stephanie, Duke and Cass are nowhere to be seen. Bruce gives a quick rundown on where he and the others are going to be patrolling. Dick gets the docks to watch for Penguin’s gun trading, Jason and Tim get from Amusement Mile to Sprang River to watch for any rogues, Damian and Bruce get from Sprang River to Robinson Park, and Stephanie, Duke, and Cass are covering the rest of Gotham. Everyone gets suited up, chatting a little. Cass is putting gadgets into her suit as Tim walks over to her. She smiles softly at Tim. Tim grabs one of the gadgets out to put in his utility belt, smiling at Cass as he does so. Cass reaches up to pat his head, and walks away, heading in the direction of Steph.

“Why are you so smiley?” Jason asks Tim as he puts on his holsters.

“I had a good day. That’s all,” Tim grins a little at Jason before placing his mask on and hoping on his Red Robin motorcycle and driving away. It's time to fight criminals. 

Tim still hasn't figured out when he should write his essays. The rain hits against the window as the noise of cars passes by. The noise provides background noise for Tim. It is a soft buzz of noise since his dorm is on the third floor. His room is only illuminated by the glow of a desk lamp and the light of a computer screen. It's 3AM and Tim is just now eating dinner. A microwave dinner at that, but it is still dinner, Alfred would be disappointed in him but with living in dorms, this was all he had at the moment. This essay is easier since it deals with his major — computer science. All Tim has to do is explain the different parts of a piece of computer software. The problem is between college life, a day job, a night job, patrol, and secret dates with Kon, Tim doesn’t have the time to do it all. He could technically get rid of his two jobs but that means relying on Bruce’s trust fund and as much as he wants to use the money, he also wants to be normal for once. Or really, as normal as he can be.

“FUCK!” Tim yells before looking around his dorm. He is alone but the walls are thin. After not hearing anyone or any yelling, Tim gets up to make coffee. How the hell did I forget coffee? It was shocking. He runs his fingers through his hair as the coffee maker does its thing and makes his coffee. As Tim grabs his black coffee, he quotes John Mulaney under his breath, “One black coffee”. 

He walks back to his desk and moves the graph paper he has around to make room for the coffee. He pulls out his phone to text Kon but pauses, then puts down his phone. He has to focus, essay first, then Kon. Tim takes a sip of his coffee before cracking his fingers and getting to work. 

4AM arrives quicker than Tim expects. He has just finished his essay and has to sleep at least little before classes start. He regrets having to take morning class, but it was the only option that works with his schedule. 9AM-12PM he is in classes, 1PM-4PM he is at FRATZ BEANS café — a fraternity café at the college, yeah a café just for the fraternity people — as a barista, 7PM-12AM he is at a local diner — bless the owners, they gave him a part-time job — working as a waiter, and then depending on the day, he either goes out on patrol until crime slows, on a date with Kon or working on school. 

Today, it is a date with Kon. They are going to meet up at 1AM near the small park on campus. It isn’t really a park, just a patch of grass, flowers, and trees. Tim’s excited to see Kon tonight. The last date was at an arcade and a 24/7 hour diner. Tonight's date is up to Tim. He hasn’t figured out a back-up plan just in case things go south - which knowing Gotham, that could happen where they will be going - or how to upstage Kon. He has ideas but nothing can work within his schedule, besides one idea. Gotham has a drive-in movie playing at 2AM, it's late for a movie but early for Gotham. Tim shakes his head, he has to sleep before class.

All Star by Smash Mouth plays as the clock hits 8AM. Tim groans as he stretches in bed, he only has an hour to shower, eat, and head to class. Tim sits up and looks around his room for a moment before getting up and grabbing clothes. Tim may have a dorm to himself but it doesn’t have a bathroom in it, he has to go to one of the shared bathrooms on the floor. Tim grabs his bathroom bag before slipping on his flip-flops and heading to the showers. The showers luckily aren’t that busy in the morning so Tim is able to slip in and out in under 20 minutes. After showering, brushing his teeth, and changing clothes, Tim heads back to his dorm to pack up his backpack for his classes. He has statistics, programming, music theory — why he chose that class, no one knows — advanced coding, and business. Some of those he has to do because Bruce made him. Why, he still has no idea.

Tim fixes his denim jacket, makes his hoodie strings even lengths, and puts on his sneakers. He sits on his bed for a few seconds, messing with the holes in his jeans. Unplugging his phone from the charger and grabbing his backpack, Tim checks the time and sees that he has enough time to go to the small coffee shop in the campus to grab a bagel and coffee.

One of the workers, Alec, greets Tim as he walks into the Student Center. The center has some classes but it’s mostly small food shops and restaurants. Tim nods to Alec and walks to the coffee shop, the one working barista smiles at Tim and asks what he would like. Tim gives them his usual order, espresso Americano and a lightly toasted bagel with cream cheese. Tim slides over his student card and the barista scans the card before handing it back, he goes to the pickup counter and checks his phone but it doesn’t take long for him to get his order. After thanking the worker, he heads to class. During class, Tim can’t stop checking the time, wishing that 1AM would come faster.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully fast. Or as fast as it can given that today is busier than normal. Tim’s exhausted by the time he goes to his diner job but it’s only a few more hours before he gets to see Kon, so he powers through the exhaustion. When he turns to look at the clock, he notices it’s 12:30AM, only a couple more hours until he sees Kon. They are going to take one of Bruce’s trucks — or really his only truck — to a drive-in movie. Dick had driven the truck down to the college earlier in the day. It was no surprise that Dick knew Tim’s schedule, and Tim managed to grab the keys from Dick when he conveniently passed by on his way to another class. Tim has already packed a bag for the drive-in and snacks during his free time he had yesterday.

Finishing his shift at the diner, Tim goes back to his dorm, waiting for Kon to come flying in. Tim can’t contain his excitement to see Kon. He starts pacing back and forth, checking the time every second. When Kon finally knocks on the dorm door, Tim runs to the door and yanks it open. He pulls Kon into a hug and gives him a kiss. Kon kisses Tim back and moves his arms to hold Tim closer, kissing him a little harder. Tim pulls away before their kissing can get more passionate.

Out of breath, Tim says “Are you ready for the movie?” He’s still in Kon’s arms.

“Yeah. Are you able to get us there with no accidents?”

Tim moves out of Kon’s arms to grab the bag of snacks and drinks, and two blankets. “Hey! I don’t get into accidents! That’s Dick!” Tim laughs at the memory of Dick’s last accident. It was in the Batmobile and since then Dick has been banned from the vehicle.

“Sure, it’s just Dick,” Kon jokingly says.

Tim grabs a random object — which turns out to be an empty water bottle — and throws it at Kon. Kon catches it, only to throw it back at Tim, who, not expecting it to come back like a boomerang, yells in surprise when he gets hit with the water bottle. Tim stares at Kon in disbelief before walking out of the dorm, leaving Kon in his dust. Kon just laughs at Tim and follows after. Tim throws the bag and blankets into the backseats of the truck and moves to hop in the driver’s seat.

Grabbing Tim’s arm, Kon tells him, “You shouldn’t drive. I know how to drive a truck, you don’t.”

Tim said nothing as Kon gets into the driver seat. Kon starts the truck as Tim goes to the passenger seat. They sit in the truck for a while, before Kon starts to drive off towards the drive-in. Tim connects to the bluetooth system that the truck has. My Own Hero by Andy Grammer plays through the speakers. Kon drums his fingers to the beat of the song on the steering wheel, and Tim looks out the window, watching as Gotham passes by. It was luck that no one was out tonight. It’s always luck when they go on a date and not a lot of people are out. They want to keep the relationship a secret for as long as they can. It’s hard to keep, but Tim is scared of what his family — minus Cass — would think. He’s scared of how that would affect him in the public’s eye. Tim isn’t really known for caring about publicity, but this time it's different. This time it affects Kon as well, he would be pushed into the spotlight. Tim can’t stop thinking as he leans his head on the window, sighing softly.

“Timmy, you okay?” Kon looks over at Tim for a second before focusing back on the road.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tim, with his head still on the window, turns to Kon and smiles.

Kon can tell something is bothering Tim but he didn’t want to push. His family does that enough and Kon doesn’t want to add to it. After a few minutes, they pull up to the drive-in. Tim sits up straight and digs into the bag for his wallet. He hands Kon the money for the drive-in tickets. They get their tickets and go to find a parking spot, the drive-in is mostly empty, save for a few other couples and families. Kon parks the truck directly in the middle and reaches behind them to grab the bag and blankets before Tim can react. Tim just looks at Kon while smiling. They get out and Tim opens the tailgate, hopping onto the truck bed. Kon places the bag down before throwing one side of a blanket to Tim. They fix the truck bed to their liking before Kon hops into the truck bed with the bag. Tim grabs the bag and pulls out a drink, Kon doesn’t even have to ask to know its coffee. Sometimes he wonders if Tim loves coffee more than him. Tim digs in the bag and pulls out a couple of glow sticks.

“Glow sticks? Really?”

“Yes really. Are you judging me?” Tim asks as he opens the package and breaks some glow sticks. Kon looks at Tim in awe at how beautiful Tim was. The glow of the glow sticks provides an angelic glow under Tim. It's dark out with only a few lights out and shining. The nearest one is a few meters down in the next car. The movie hasn’t started yet, so the only light lightning up the area around the two are the glow sticks.

Tim looks over at Kon while he throws the glow sticks around the truck bed. “You okay?”

Kon snaps out of it. “Yeah yeah, my bad. Here let me help you.” 

Kon grabs another package of glow sticks and opens it before snapping them. Before Kon can throw them around the truck bed, Tim grabs them and the connecters. Tim makes a bracelet out of two glow sticks and places it on Kon’s lap. Kon picks it up gently and looks at it. Tim, not being able to stop himself, grabs Kon’s hand and the glow stick. Tim slips the glow stick onto Kon’s hand, or more accurately, his arm. He picks up Kon’s hand and kisses the back of his hand instinctively. Tim not so gracefully drops Kon’s hand and takes a sip of coffee, trying to calm down the blush that appears on his face. Kon didn’t say anything but he smiles and grabs the glow sticks Tim stole before throwing them around the truck bed. The truck bed has a range of different colored glow sticks. The whole rainbow made an appearance on the truck bed. Fitting, Kon thinks.

Tim jumps as the movie screen makes a noise. It starts to countdown from 10. The two boys get settled in as the movie begins. Kon looks surprised at the movie choice.

“Megamind? Really?” Kon is unimpressed by the movie, but is impressed at the amount of couples here.

“Yes, Megamind. You got a problem with it?” Tim sasses. Kon can only shake his head.

As the movie plays, both Tim and Kon can’t help but sneak glances at each other. In that moment Tim wants to shout from the rooftops about his love for Kon. He wants to hold Kon in the streets, kiss him, do normal couple things. But his fear is holding him back. He focuses back on the movie.

The movie ends, Tim and Kon stretch out and they look at each other before laughing. Out of all the movies Tim could have picked, he picked Megamind. Only Tim would do that. Kon is the first to stop laughing. He grins as Tim keeps laughing his head off. Picking up the glow sticks and throwing them into the bag, Kon becomes so focused on cleaning that he doesn't hear Tim stop laughing. As Kon turns around, he jumps, almost punching Tim in the face. Tim is standing there, doing the Spooky Scary Skeleton dance, not that well either. Tim looks like a car dealership balloon person, just all wiggles. Kind of like a worm string.

“Mother of goose! What are you doing?” Kon holds his free hand to his chest, trying to calm his heart.

“For someone who has super hearing you definitely are deaf.” Tim says as he grabs a Swedish Fish that was lying on the blanket. He throws it in the air and catches it in his mouth. Kon glares at Tim and throws a glow stick that is lying around them. Tim, just like earlier, can’t dodge the incoming missile. A battle of throwing whatever was in reach ensured. Tim is getting hit left and right while Kon is catching all things thrown at him.

“I surrender! I surrender!” Tim has his hands in the air, not wanting to get hit again and again anymore.

“For someone trained by Batman, you definitely can’t dodge,” Kon says jokingly. Tim glares at Kon before smiling. It isn’t an evil smile but a content one. This is the first time he has had fun these past few weeks. With everything going on, having fun was something Tim could only dream of, but now he feels at peace. He’s happy. They stare at each other for a few minutes before cleaning up the truck bed. Everything, trash included and blankets excluded, went into the bag. They climb out of the truck bed and back into the truck. Kon is still the driver. Tim turns on the radio this time, and rolls down the window. 

He feels as if they’re in a scene out of a movie. The wind from the movement of the truck hitting his face, the soft playing of the radio, the faint noise from the truck, the smell of Gotham air, the sight of clouds, the slight shine from the moon; it all hits Tim as Kon was driving him back to the dorm. Tim turns to rest his arms on the window and stuck his head outside. He doesn’t know it but he has silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Emotions swirl inside him, wanting to come out but not being allowed to. He wants to show the world his love, but the fear of rejection was stronger than ever. If only love was simple.

Arriving a little past 3AM, Conner pulls into the dorm parking lot, parking the truck and turning to Tim.

“I had a fun night. It is in my Top 5.” Kon tells Tim as he reaches behind to grab the bag and blankets for Tim.

“It was last minute” Tim stares at Kon, not believing he blurted that out. Kon just laughs at Tim.

“Oh, I know.”

“How do you know?”

“I know you, Tim.”

They stare at each other before leaning in for a goodnight kiss. Once breaking the kiss, they get out of the truck, waving goodbye to each other. Tim walks back to the building his dorm is located in, while Kon flies back to Metropolis. Another day, and another date down. Tim smiles as he goes to his room. Once arriving, he flops onto his bed, bouncing a little as he does so, and goes to sleep.

A few weeks pass before their next date, and this time it was Kon’s turn to choose the date. All the information Tim gets is to be ready at 1AM and wear clothes he would be okay to fly in, so Tim knows it’s at least out of Gotham. He figures it’s probably back at the Kent’s farmhouse but Tim promised not to go all detective mode. It’s a slow day, which was shocking, since on Fridays both the cafe and diner are usually busier than normal but today was slow. Tim manages to get two breaks at the diner instead of his normal one. Hell, the owners give him dinner on the house. Tim still pays for it out of pocket but it's nice to know that the owners will give him a meal on the house. Tim brings the dinner home to eat, just a cheeseburger and fries with a Coca Cola. 

Tim starts to do his school work, eating as he does so. Crumbs from the burger get on his desk, and he half-heartedly wipes them away but it's not that big of a deal. Besides, he is just waiting for 1AM to arrive. Focused on school work, he doesn’t hear the knock on the window. The window slides open - how, Tim doesn’t know - and Kon steps in. In an instant, a batarang is thrown his way. Kon reaches up and grabs the batarang, stopping it inches from his face.

“How did you get in?” Tim wonders.

“I’m standing by the window, World's Greatest Detective.”

Tim says nothing before throwing another batarang. This time he aims it away from Kon, but the intent is there. Kon pulls the batarang out of the wall and hands them to Tim.

“That’s property damage.”

“They don’t care. Well, they do but a lot worse has happened in other dorms. Before you ask, don’t ask.” Tim tucks the batarangs away. He stands up, grabs his phone and a small bag before hugging Kon. Kon grabs Tim’s hand and goes back to the window. He slides out of the window, and hovers just outside. Tim slides out and sits on the window ledge before he reaches out and grabs Kon. He turns, closes the window, and Kon flies them into the night sky.

“A whole new world...” Kon sings into Tim’s ear as he screams from the sudden elevation change. Tim stops screaming as they slow down and stares at the clouds they passed. He reaches out and touches a cloud. It feels light, like nothing he had ever touched before. The cloud disappears from his hands as they continue to fly. It’s a quick trip, given that Kon is flying fast. Tim doesn’t even know they are in Metropolis until Kon touches his shoulder.

“Hey Tim, we are here”

“Huh? Oh, that was quick” Tim looks around, noticing that the Kent’s farm has more animals than normal. He doesn’t point it out but knows it has to do with Damian influencing Jon, asking for more animals. Kon gently grabs Tim’s hand and pulls him inside. The house smells of warm apple pie, with a hint of oakwood and smoke. The only noise that can be heard is from the animals.

“Where’s Clark, Lois, and Jon?” It's never this silent in the Kent house. Much like the manor, noise is a constant thing. Jon and Kon may be the only kids, or young adult in Kons’ case, but they make a lot of noise. Hell, even Clark makes a lot of noise. It’s like those Kryptonians just love noise.

Kon laughs, breaking the silence in the house. “Jon is at a sleepover with some school friends, Cl-”

Tim interrupts him, “Wait, Jon has more friends than just Damian?”

“Yeah...as I was saying Clark and Lois are out ‘working’”

“So they’re pulling a Bruce?”

“....yeah.” Kon laughs at that. He wonders if Tim has been spending some time with Jason. Jason is the only one that insults Bruce so much, and Tim saying that is definitely insulting Bruce.

“Am I wrong?” Tim holds out his hands. He looks like a meme, and Conner wishes he has his phone out to take a picture.

They make their way to the kitchen. Conner had mentioned something about a campfire earlier in the day, but Tim isn’t sure if Conner really means a fire. It's something that Tim isn’t used to. Or, well, at least in a positive way. Tim has to pause and think about what Conner means. All while he is thinking about the campfire, Conner somehow gets the ingredients for s'mores and waits at the door for Tim. He waits for Tim to get out of his own mind. It takes a while before Tim realizes Conner is waiting for him. He smiles at Conner before they walk out to the small fire pit outside.

Conner hands the ingredients to Tim before lighting the fire pit. With what, Tim doesn’t even know. The fire roars to life, the heat is intense for a second, but it soon calms down. Tim places the s’mores ingredients down, looking around for any sticks. It takes a few minutes of wandering around, before Tim finds some decent sticks. He walks back to where Conner and the fire is at, holds up the sticks with a smile. Conner shakes his head before nodding towards the fire pokers. Tim looks defeated, his arms dropping to his side. It takes only a beat of silence, saved for the noise of crickets and the fire, for Tim to throw one of the sticks in Kon’s direction. For onlookers, it may look like their relationship is full of throwing random objects at each other. That may be the truth, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. The stick throwing went on for a few minutes, before the throwing and laughs calmed down. Tim falls to the grassy ground, taking in the feel of the grass on him. Conner walks over to Tim, sitting next to Tim’s horizontal figure. They take the moment to catch their breath. The moment didn’t feel real. The area surrounding them fades. It was just Conner and him. The sound of the fire crackling brings them back to reality. Conner stands, reaching his hand out to Tim as he does so. Tim grabs his hand, getting pulled up by Conner. They walk over to the fire, grabbing a poker and finally starting to do the s’mores. Tim’s first s’more, the marshmallow went up in flames. Conner is too busy laughing his ass off to help extinguish the marshmallow. Tim throws the marshmallow to the ground, stomping on the flame. The flame, luckily, went out, but Tim knows Conner will not let him live this down. After that, the s’mores weren’t as hard or as up in flames.

By the time they were full, most of the s’mores were gone. The feeling in the air was full of nostalgia. For Tim, doing this reminds him of the days where crime-fighting wasn’t his whole life. It’s these small moments with Conner that bring him to a new plane of life, a new reality. Being able to be a kid again. Being able to feel the stickiness of marshmallows as he makes the s’mores. Feeling the comfort of a fire, the warmth, the feeling of home. These moments, these moments make Tim think that continuing is worth it all.

So lost in thought, Tim didn’t notice that Conner had moved. Tim blinks a few times, pulling himself out of his mind, and scans the area. Even if he promised no detective brain, Tim can’t stop himself from worrying, from bringing out his detective mindset. Tim gets up, still looking around for Conner, and walks to the house. He notices that the door has been left open, and rushes inside. Conner’s standing in the middle of the living room, music is playing from some speakers that the Kents have.

“What is going on?” Tim asks, looking around and making sure nothing got damaged.

“Waiting for you” Conner moves to Tim, guiding him to the middle of the living room.

“Why?”

Conner just smiles. He places one arm behind him, bowing slightly, holding out his other hand. He looks down for a second before looking up, asking “Can I have this dance?”

Tim is speechless. It takes a few seconds before Tim grabs Conners hand. Conner leads them into a swaying motion, his hands on Tim’s waist, and Tim’s around his neck. They sway to the rhythm of the music.

The song changes but the swaying doesn’t stop. Tim leans into Conner, pushing him on the back of the neck a little, bringing their foreheads to touch. Tim looks at Conner before closing his eyes. They gently sway to the music as the night continues on, blissfully content to stay in this moment forever.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 22

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Leo Valdez can be sweet when he wants to.

A/N:  Sorry for the long break! The holidays were a rather busy time for me so it did good to take some time off from writing. But now I'm back for my weekly updates (at least I hope I am)! And not just with any chapter but a long-ish chapter full of Caleo fluff :) I really hope you guys enjoy! Please let me know what you think because I 100% mean it when I say I love reading your comments!!

Words: 3200+ 

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

…

Once Calypso had made up with Leo and Annabeth, she had new issues to deal with. When she paid her rent for the month, she noticed that she only had enough money for one more month’s rent, not even including the other living costs such as food, other daily necessities and school supplies. She had pushed back the job hunting earlier partially because the friendship issues had made her feel too low to care about that kind of thing, partially because she had no idea what she could do, only having a high school level education and no special skills. She had only ever worked at her father’s company and that was not something she wanted to advertise in her applications. But now she was in a situation that unless she wanted to return to the very place she wanted to stay away from, she had to come up with something.

Annabeth and Piper had seen some of the clothes and other items she had sewed and made with her own hands and encouraged her to sell them but Calypso herself wasn’t entirely convinced they were good enough to be sold. She was also a decent enough artist but with a class full of artists just as good (some even better) than her, what would make her stand out in the public? Her people skills weren’t amazing either so she doubted that she would make a good retail worker. But she knew she would probably have to come out of her comfort zone in this case, so if anyone was willing to hire her, she’d accept it.

She was startled when she suddenly heard a familiar voice from the other room: “Sunshine, I’mma head out to buy some groceries and stuff for a new project. You need anything?”

In some other situation, Calypso would have been thankful for the offer, but she was still feeling like a nervous wreck because of her earlier discovery. That’s why the words escaped her before she could stop herself: “Huh? No, I don’t think so? And I can still buy my own groceries, thank you very much.”

“Sorry, I just thought I’d ask… I didn’t mean to…” Leo seemed a bit baffled by her outburst. He was already about to head out when Calypso came out of her room and stopped him.

“No, I’m sorry.” She sighed, looking regretful. “I was just on the edge because I just noticed my financial situation isn’t exactly the best… But that is something I need to figure out on my own, I don’t want charity.”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna buy you a car or anything,” Leo tried to crack a joke. “Just thought that if you’re running out of milk or something, I could have saved you the trouble… Since I’m going there anyway…”

“Oh… no, I don’t think I need anything,” she said, this time a lot softer. “But thank you for asking.”

“No prob, Sunshine,” Leo replied, looking relieved now that he knew she wasn’t actually angry at him. “But hey, if you do need help with, like, searching for a job, or something, I’m your man.”

Calypso tried to keep her face neutral even though she had a feeling her cheeks were probably red. “I’ll… keep that in my mind.”

“Well, see you soon,” Leo said after the two just kept staring at each other for a while. He seemed to be sizing her, possibly still a bit thrown off by her weird reaction before he put his coat on (Calypso noticed it was the same shade of red as a lot of his shirts seemed to be. And it was also rather snugly fit, definitely not a bad sight, she thought before she had time to stop herself) and took his bags, leaving her alone.

“See you,” she said quietly when the door was already closed.

Once sure that Leo was far enough and not coming back, Calypso leaned her back against the wall of her room, sliding down into a sitting position on the floor. Throwing her head back, she groaned at herself. She had thought that the small falling out they had had because of the Percy incident might have affected her feelings towards Leo, but it seemed to become clearer and clearer every day that wasn’t the case. Even if she had admitted to Hazel and Annabeth that those feelings were not quite flatmate like, it was a whole different thing to really come to terms with that fact. She was falling quite hard.

The more she thought about it, the more she freaked out. Her relationships before one faithful day during her teenage years had failed badly (and that was over 5 years ago anyway) and the online dating she had done afterwards… Well, now that Calypso thought about it, only the conversation with Percy had seemed to be going somewhere. All the people she had cared about had left her and never come back. That, along with the fact that she had spent a lot of time alone in the past, had left her scared of relationships and ruined her self esteem, making her think that she simply wasn’t good enough. If Leo left too… she wasn’t sure how she’d handle that. Not to even mention, her dad was still probably looking for her and getting Leo mixed into that would be very dangerous for him. No matter what Annabeth said about wanting to help.

Biting her lip, she decided there was only one option. No matter what she felt, she should try to treat Leo just like any of her friends and conceal her true feelings. Having Leo in her life just as a flatmate was way better than not having him in it at all. When she remembered her friends’ hints that perhaps Leo himself wasn’t as indifferent to her as he probably should be, she suddenly felt like crying. In different circumstances… maybe they could be happy together, go on dates, hold hands… Now she would inevitably have to let him go when someone else would realize that Leo was a great person worth dating.

Calypso didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, and she also hadn’t noticed that there were tears running down her cheeks. She didn’t snap out of her daze until she heard the front door clunking again, this time indicating that Leo had already returned.

“Please just ignore me…” Calypso ranted in her head, but no luck. She heard steps from outside her room, stopping right in front of it. Swiping her wet cheeks quickly into her hands, she stood up from the floor just in time for Leo to knock on her door. Calypso didn’t really want to open it when she was in that emotional state but she knew that not answering would raise even more questions. Her messy looks she could always try to shrug off as a ‘bad day’, she decided.

“Yeah?” she asked weakly, opening the door to reveal her flatmate with that stupid trademark grin of his on his face. He seemed pretty happy about something he had or was about to do. The late autumn wind had made his curly hair even messier than usual and his cheeks were red from the cold weather and the exercise but his eyes were sparkling excitedly, like he couldn’t wait to show her something. He started: “I went to the hardware store and…” He quickly stopped when he noticed Calypso’s expression and puffy eyes. His happiness immediately melted away. “Hey, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?”

“It’s been a rough day,” Calypso sighed, looking down. “Don’t worry, I was just being overwhelmed by the loads of uni work before the exam season. And like I told you before, I need a job… But… it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Alright, if you’re sure…” Leo narrowed his eyes slightly, probably sensing that she wasn’t telling him the entire truth. “But yeah, I was gonna give you something. Hope it cheers you up a bit. He handed her a tiny packet of what seemed like flower seeds but before Calypso had time to read the text on it, he started explaining.

“So, I was gonna tell you that I went to the hardware store to buy me some supplies, and you know how they sell all kinds of seeds there as well? Well, I just happened to notice these while waiting for my turn to pay for my stuff and I just randomly decided to buy them.”

“But… why?” Calypso asked, finally looking at Leo directly.

“Um…” He started rubbing the back of his neck. “Remember when Festus jumped on your desk and broke it? There was a plant on it too… and I never replaced it. When I saw those,” he nodded towards the packet Calypso was holding, “I remembered that the plant looked like that… At least I think it did… I’m no good with that kind of stuff… But I know you care about your plants… so I thought it’d be only fair if I got you those. I know it’s not gonna be the exact same one you had, but…”

Leo didn’t manage to finish his sentence because Calypso couldn’t contain her feelings anymore. She closed the space between them and hugged him even tighter than the time they had had a game night with Jason and Piper. No one had gotten anything for her in years, and even if the seed bags didn’t cost much, it was the thought that mattered way more to her. She had never expected him to remember such a detail from several months ago when they hadn’t even been friends, but apparently he did.

“Uh, Cal, some air would be nice,” Leo said jokingly when it started seeming she didn’t even want to let him go. He didn’t attempt to break the hug, though, instead gently stroking her back. “Wow, Sunshine,” he said in an attempt to lighten the mood, “You’d think I bought you a house based on your reaction.”

Calypso raised her head from his shoulder, giving him a half hearted glare as she broke the hug.

“I’m not allowed to be thankful for a gift? You don’t know… You don’t understand…”

“Understand what?” Leo raised his eyebrows.

Calypso took a deep breath before answering. “I haven’t gotten gifts from anyone since I turned 16. And even then it was just… uh, never mind. The point is that I’m not used to such nice gestures… And I didn’t think you’d remember… It was my favorite plant. So excuse me if I’m feeling a bit emotional because your gift was more thoughtful than you probably realized.”

“OK, sorry,” Leo apologized quickly. “If you’re not used to nice gestures, I’m not used to displays of affection so I got a bit surprised, that’s all… Well, either way, I’m glad I got you something you care about.”

Calypso’s expression softened again. “Yeah. Thank you. I’m sure they will look pretty.”

Suddenly Calypso realized she was feeling a little dizzy, not sure if from the crying or from the smell of the mechanic oil she had just smelled on Leo’s shirt as she had hugged him. Sitting down on her bed, she leaned her face into her hands.

“Um, are you really OK?” Leo asked. “I know it’s not any of my business, but… if I can help you somehow, let me know.”

After a while, Calypso looked up from her hands, having half expected Leo to leave already. “If you happen to know anyone who’d be willing to hire an inexperienced, uneducated young woman, sure, be my guest,” she muttered.

“Hey.” Leo sat down next to Calypso on her bed, nudging her arm slightly. “Where’s the Calypso who has told me to fight my fear? I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who’d be willing to hire you if they knew how talented you are.”

“Wait… what?” Calypso wasn’t sure if she had heard right. Even if they had been friendly towards each other for a while now, she didn’t remember Leo complimenting her like that before. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true!” Leo exclaimed, his eyes gleaming fiercely the same way Calypso had seen a couple of times earlier. “You are a talented person and even I can see that. You can draw and paint – I bet you’d do way better blueprints for machines than I do. To be honest, I’d probably hire you to do that if I could. You create a lot of things with your own hands – like that one dress you wore the other day, right? Like, OK, I wear overalls all the time so you can take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I thought it looked neat.”

“But…”

“But there are other things as well,” Leo continued persistently. “You know a lot and you’re always working on something – if not something university related, you take care of your plants or bake or something like that – and I think under that hard cover of yours you’re actually a super caring person. I dunno, those are things that at least I value. But maybe I’m the weird one here.” He rolled his eyes as if everything he had just said had been very obvious.

“Leo…” Calypso just stared at him with wide eyes, not finding the right words. She hadn’t been emotionally prepared for Leo showering her with compliments. If her cheeks had felt warm earlier, they were definitely burning now, and her eyes felt weird too… like she was going to cry again. “I…”

“Shhh. Crying doesn’t suit you, Sunshine. Luckily Uncle Leo is good at bad jokes that make the ladies laugh. How about this: What do you give to a sick lemon? Or… why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?”

“Leonidas,” Calypso repeated but this time she did it with an annoyed groan. That was apparently what Leo had wished, though, because he grinned at her in return.

“Alright, I won’t finish that one!” he raised his hands up. “But it did work because there’s still some spice left in you. That’s what I wanted to see.”

“You’re the only person I know who can literally go from 100 to 0 when trying to cheer someone up,” Calypso said, but her mouth twitched. “But thanks. As much as I hate to admit it, I think it might have worked. For your information,” she added unexpectedly, “you give lemon aid to a sick lemon and the astronaut needed his space.”

“I think my job here is done,” Leo said approvingly, taking one step closer to her. Calypso had seen his brown eyes sparkling when he was happy and burning when he was mad but now she thought they seemed soft and warm, unlike she had seen before. And her heart skipped a beat when she registered that the reason for the warmth might have been… she herself. He looked at her right in the eyes and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear before his fingers moved to her face. He brushed some of the wetness off with his thumb and for one, short second Calypso thought that he also wanted to do something else… touch her jaw, her lips… But that moment ended fast when he cleared his throat and pulled his hand away. One, tiny part of Calypso’s brain yelled: “no!” while the rational part tried to be relieved.

“Um… You had something there…” Leo tried to brush his previous actions off. “Anyway. Like I said I have no doubt someone wouldn’t hire you. But now that I think of it, I remember hearing from my moms that one of their friends is looking for a holiday helper at her flower shop that is quite near Waystation. The holidays are always a busy time there and the owner’s daughter, who has usually been the one helping, has moved away, so they could really use an extra hand.”

“A flower shop?” Calypso asked, hope starting to flicker in her eyes. “Do you think they may have a lot of applicants?”

“Who knows.” Leo shrugged. “I think it might be a pretty popular place… but you can’t win if you don’t try, huh?”

“Yeah. You’re right,” Calypso agreed. “Do you know how I can contact the place?”

“Hold on for a moment. I can call Emmie and ask,” Leo said and left Calypso alone in her room, baffled by what had just happened but also a bit hopeful. Maybe at least something would turn out right even if her social life would probably continue to be a mess.

A few minutes later Leo returned with a piece of paper in his hands and a satisfied expression on his face. It told Calypso that he had managed to get the number.

“Here you go, Sunshine! Hope you’ll still remember me and how I helped you when you become rich and famous.” He winked.

“I know I’ve told you this before but you really are a weirdo,” Calypso shot back but took the piece of paper gratefully. She excused herself to make a phone call and managed to get a hold of the owner of the flower shop who suggested a meeting for the next day. After finishing the phone call, Calypso searched for Leo who had withdrawn into the living room to watch a movie.

“So… I’m going to have an interview with the owner tomorrow,” she told him. “Keep your thumbs up that it will go fine. I’m kind of nervous, to be honest.”

“I’d keep even my big toes up if needed but I think you’re gonna do great,” Leo noted. “For reals. Have some faith.”

“Easier said than done,” Calypso sighed. “You probably understand.”

“I… yeah,” Leo admitted, thinking about one moment only about a week earlier when he had felt like nothing would work out. “But for what it’s worth, there are people who do support you.”

“You too?” Calypso asked carefully even though she was a bit scared of his answer.

“Yeah, me included.” Leo nodded.

“Listen, Leo… Thanks… for everything you’ve done for me today. Not just the seeds and the phone number, the emotional support too. It really helped.”

She surprised even herself by leaning closer to Leo and giving him a quick peck on his cheek. He went completely speechless and just rubbed the spot on his cheek Calypso had kissed absentmindedly as Calypso waited for him to say something.

“Uhh… you… you’re welcome?” he finally stuttered when Calypso had already started thinking she had crossed some line with the cheek kiss and they were back on square one.

“I should probably go back to do some research…” she said. “I’ve had a hard time focusing on anything lately but I’m feeling better now so hopefully I will manage to make some progress with some assignments. Have fun with your movie!” She attempted to sound cheerful even though the two sides of her brain were having an intense battle in that moment. One said: ‘why don’t you just stay with him? The assignment can wait!” while the other side wanted to run from that situation before Calypso did something she would regret.

“Alright… Thanks. And good luck with that!” Leo said. Calypso was convinced that she just imagined it but to her he had seemed just a bit disappointed that she hadn’t joined him. When she was back in her room, she exhaled sharply. So much for that ‘being just friends’. She would really have to start working harder on that before someone got hurt.

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Boston Boys [Part Ten]

Summary: Amidst another bank robbery, Chris and Elsa make plans to get away; John makes a confession to Aurelie.    Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC, John Krasinski x OFC Word Count: 1938 Chapter Warnings: Memories of bank robbery and hostage situation, angst, trauma. Square Filled: The entire series (well, bits and pieces of it) will fill my Crossover square for @marvelfluffbingo​​. A/N: This story contains a character who lost her hearing as she got older. I do work closely and regularly with the D/deaf community (I’m a sign language interpreter), but my own hearing problems do not involve significant hearing loss. It is not my intention to offend anyone, only to bring in a character with a quality I don’t see often in other fics. If you have questions about her, feel free to ask :)

Boston Boys Masterlist

Just as Elsa was beginning to think summer might never come to Boston, her semester ended and all she had to do was work at the bank. She had been seeing Chris for a couple of months now. The memory of the bank robbery was growing more and more distant. All in all, life wasn’t so bad.

She was laying in the bed in Chris’s new apartment -- one he had secured only a few weeks ago. Elsa had helped him pick out the furnishings and decor; she loved playing house with Chris.

Who was she kidding at this point? The thing she loved the most was being with Chris. She loved Chris. She was in love with Chris.

He came back to the bed with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. Elsa grinned and pulled the sheet up under her arms before accepting one of the spoons from him. Chris set the lid on the nightstand, then sidled up next to Elsa. They dug into the ice cream together. Chris hit the clicker to turn on the TV, and the sounds of the evening news filled the bedroom.

“What are you gonna do with your summer, beautiful?”

Elsa shrugged. “You mean besides spending time with you? Work the bank. Visit home, I guess. Nothing exciting.”

“Let’s take a vacation.” He swallowed a spoonful of ice cream. “Seb’s back up to par, he can cover for me at the shop for a while. We could stop and visit your family, then go up to Maine for a little coastal getaway.”

“You want to meet my family?” Elsa asked. That wasn’t at all what she was expecting.

“I wanna meet your family,” Chris confirmed, taking the spoon from her and setting it to the side with his spoon and the ice cream. “Is that too serious?”

Elsa shook her head. “No. I think I’m pretty serious about you. I know I am, actually. You came into my life at a really horrible time --”

“... made away with over a hundred thousand dollars. The robbers were described as three men and one woman by their voices, though they were wearing masks, hoodies, and gloves, so no other identifying factors were noted. Investigators believe that this may be the same group who robbed Boston Private and took a hostage several months ago.”

That horrible time Elsa had been ready to reference and forget about was suddenly the only thing she could think about. She flashed back to the other teller giving her up as the one with the code for the safe that day, to being yelled at and hit and taken away into that van. Her breath came in short gasps and she reached for Chris’s hand.

“Hey, hey -- breathe, Elsa. Breathe. C’mon.”

Chris encouraged her over and over to breathe, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t get past the hyperventilating and the sobbing. Chris pulled her into his lap, stroking her hair and waiting the reaction out. When she finally began to calm, he clicked the mute button, then wiped away the tear stains from her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Els,” he apologized, “I should have been paying more attention to what was on the news.”

“It’s not your fault,” Elsa assured.

Chris smoothed her hair away from her face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just -- they’re still out there, Chris. They still know where I live and they still are doing this to other people. What if the police want to ask me more questions with this new investigation? I want to put it all behind me. I thought I had. I finished the semester with good grades, despite everything. I found you, and things are going so well. Now all of this is slammed back in my face.”

The tears began again. Chris leaned her against his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s go away, all right? We’ll go visit your family, we’ll get away to Maine. I’ll plan everything.”

Elsa nodded against his chest. Sniffling back the tears, she tipped her head up to Chris. When he kissed her softly, Elsa pulled the kiss into more passionate depths. Whatever she could to replace the pain with pleasure.

In a different part of Boston, Aurelie was getting home from a long hospital shift. Though no serious cases had come though, a summer virus had filled the rooms non-stop, it seemed. She had stayed a few extra hours to deal with the overflow before coming home.

She dropped her bag at the front door, then set her cochlear implant on the table by the door, as she usually did, and kicked her shoes off. Her phone buzzed in her pocket; as much as she wanted to ignore it, the possibility of being called back to the hospital when she was needed kept her from letting the call go to voicemail.

I’m at your front door. I would knock, but I know you probably wouldn’t hear me right now.

John’s text message was enough to pull a smile to her face. Aurelie tossed her phone to the side, then opened her front door and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him almost before he was ready. He smiled against her mouth and wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her off the ground and carrying her into the apartment before shutting the door behind him.

When John set her down, Aurelie reached for her implant, but he put a hand over hers. She frowned and asked him what was up.

“I want to tell you something.” He said the words while also fumbling through signing what he was trying to say. With a deep breath, he continued. “I’ve been learning a little so I can tell you an important thing in a way that’s important to you. I love you, Aurelie.”

He even remembered her name sign. With tears in her eyes, Aurelie nodded. She had known when they accepted each other, despite the family backgrounds, that love would come -- and she had waited with great anticipation for this day. She never could have imagined, though, that John would have made the moment so special. So, without speaking, Aurelie signed her reply.

“I love you, too.”

Chris hadn’t dragged his feet on planning their vacation, and by mid-June, Elsa was preparing to head to New York for a few days alone with her family before Chris followed after finishing his week at the barber shop.

They had said their goodbyes at her apartment that morning before Chris went to work, but Elsa had a surprise for him for his birthday, coming up in a couple of days. He wouldn’t arrive in New York until the day after his birthday, but she couldn’t wait. She stopped at the jeweler to pick up the gift, then made time to stop at the shop before she took a cab to Logan.

The bell over the door rang when she entered the shop, and six faces turned to look at Elsa. She spotted Chris immediately and, after giving everyone else a shy little wave, made way over to his chair.

“Hey,” she greeted, kissing his cheek, “I was hoping to catch you between clients.”

Chris kissed her quickly, then took her by the elbow and turned her to the rest of the shop crew. He made quick introductions, then hurried her out of the shop to the front sidewalk.

“This was a good surprise,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her again.

Elsa chuckled. “I’ve never seen you this nervous.”

“Well, ya know, I’ve told them I’m seeing someone, but it’s been a long time since I’ve introduced someone to my family. I was caught off guard is all.”

“That makes sense. I’m sorry to put you in a bad position.”

“No, no,” Chris assured, shaking his head adamantly, holding her hands up to his lips and kissing her knuckles. “I was nervous, is all. In a good way. I’m glad you were the one to break the cycle.”

Elsa grinned and pulled the small box from her bag and gave it to him. “I had a good reason for stopping by, promise. I know it’s not your birthday yet, but I was too excited to wait to give you your gift. Happy birthday, Chris.”

He ran his hand over the smooth lid of the box, then leaned down to kiss her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Open it!”

Chris grinned too and tucked the lid underneath the box. He raised his brow at the all-black watch set inside. Elsa took it out for him and turned the watch so he could see behind the watch face.

“‘Trust the timing’,” he read out loud. He smiled to himself; a fitting statement for them. “This is perfect, Elsa. It’s amazing. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know that, but I saved up. I wanted to do this for you.”

Chris cupped her face and kissed her again, softly. “Will you take this with you to New York? I want to take you out when I get there, and I don’t want to chance forgetting this, so I can wear it.”

Elsa nodded and helped him put the watch back in the box before putting it back in her bag. They shared a couple more kisses, then Chris hailed her a cab to take her to the airport. Elsa smiled to herself as the yellow car drove away; she couldn’t wait to be home with Chris and her family.

Chris stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes after Elsa left, smoking a cigarette and preparing himself for the reaction of the crew. He had lit a second cigarette, in an effort to delay the inevitable, when the bell over the shop door rang again.

“Got a light?”

He dug the lighter from his pocket and leaned over to light Scarlett’s cigarette. Things were quiet for about a minute, and then she spoke.

“The rest of them didn’t recognize her, and I’m not going to say anything. They all like her -- what they got from the thirty seconds before you rushed her out.” Scarlett took a long drag from her cigarette. “I like her, too. I can see you do, and you should see how she lights up when she looks at you.”

Chris sighed, scratching at a spot above his eye with his thumb. “Scar …”

“What are you doing, Chris? What’s gonna happen when she finds out you were part of the team that traumatized her and changed her life forever? We scarred her, do you get that? And now you’re fucking her and she’s falling in love with you.”

“I’m not fucking her,” Chris rebutted. “I’m serious about her. Is that why you’re so pissed? Is it really about the robbery?”

Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Whatever feelings I thought I had left for you, Chris, were gone when you went MIA when Seb needed you. Who the fuck does that?” She shook her head and threw the butt of her cigarette in a puddle nearby. “It doesn’t matter, it’s passed. Seb’s forgiven you, so I guess I should, too. Just know that I’ve moved on from all of that. The problem now is what’s gonna happen when she finds out who you really are.”

Scarlett went back into the shop. Chris shoved his hands in his pockets; Scar wasn’t wrong. He had fucked up, in more ways than one. Then and there, he decided that before they came back to Boston from Maine, he would tell Elsa the truth.

AlloftheThings: @captain-s-rogers​​​​​​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​​​​​@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​​​​​ @hurricanerin​​​​​​@horsesandbandsforlife​​​​​​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​​​​​​ @captain-rogers-beard​​​​​​ @shynara51​​​​​​ @sea040561​​​​​​  @pinknerdpanda​​​​​​ @xtina2191​​​​​​ @jackryanplz​​​​​​ @beakami​​​​​​ @heartsaved​​​​​​@fullprunerebelstatesman​​​​​​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​​​​​​

Boston Boys:  @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​​​​​​ @becs-bunker​​​​​​ @shield-agent78​​​​​​ @patzammit​​​​​​ @crazyandanonymous4u​​​​​​@ntlmundy​​​​​​​ @jennmurawski13​​​​​​​ @okay-maybe-i-like-marvel-too​​​​​​

[xratedffbarbiex]

Falling. Chapter Seven.

Words: 2192 Summary: With a broken-down relationship barely behind him, Antoine intended to return to University and get on with his life. What he hadn’t anticipated was to find you in his classroom. Everything about you he needs, even though he knows it’s wrong. You know you shouldn’t, but sometimes, fate interferes whether it’s wanted or not and until you both can figure it out, all you can say is, “yes Sir.” Part: 7/10 A/N:  If you do want to be tagged for this series, then please let me know :)

This fic will contain smut at times.

____

Chapter One.

Chapter Two.

Chapter Three.

Chapter Four.

Chapter Five.

Chapter Six.

____

You’re laid with your back to Antoine as he looks over some things whilst in bed. His hand strokes up and down your spine, over the curve of your body and back up again. It’s soothing, soft and you enjoy the feel of his hands on you as he absentmindedly strokes. The two of you have barely seen one another in the past week. If it wasn’t a class, you weren’t in the same room as one another and though he’d text you daily, there wasn’t much contact. He’d text earlier asking you to come over, that he’d be doing some work for his classes and the department but he really wanted to see you.

He’d greeted you at the door, his hair a wet, freshly washed mess, he was still wearing his glasses, a hoodie over his bare chest and joggers.

“Hey beautiful.” The sight of him so casual and so completely yours, had your heart pounding against your chest. He was becoming more open with kissing you now, behind closed doors of course, but if he wanted one, he simply did so. He didn’t hesitate and would try and slowly get your attention before doing so. He’d just say “hey,” and then lean in once you looked. His happiness was contagious and absolutely rubbing off on you.

So when his hand rests on your waist and he presses his lips to the curve of your neck, you expect something physical not, “will you come away with me for the break?”

You turn over to look at him and though his confidence had soared in other areas of the relationship over the weeks, his nervousness was clear tonight. “What?”

“I erm, I asked if you’d come away for the semester break. With me.”

“Not Theo?” You flash him a smile but he’s too nervous to joke.

“No. With me. As your boyfriend.” He swallows after the last part and you watch as his breathing speeds up. “Please.”

“The whole time?”

“As much of it as you can tolerate being with me.” 

“I haven’t got bored of being with you yet.” You try to reason with him and he gives a small smile. 

“Yet.”

“I’m not going to tire of you within a month Antoine,” you turn over on your stomach and watch him as he puts his phone down and gives you his full attention. 

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“Are you agreeing to come with me?” 

“As long as you’re sure it’s what you want? It’s a long time to try and entertain me. Especially getting somewhere short notice too.”

“I’d planned to get away anyway, having you there would just be better. Means I can just switch my phone off as much as possible and just be with you. Away from all of this,” he gestures to the work in front of him. His fingers work their way over your skin again and you hum happily at the contact. 

“Anywhere nice?”

“You might need a mix of clothes. I don’t know what the coast is like at this time of year.” He gives you a grin and there’s no way you could say no to that smile. 

___

He’d given you enough time to pack the following day. You’d raided everywhere you had clothes and shoved it all into a suitcase. Clothes for all types of weather just in case, several books not that you could get through them, the MacBook and charges for both the laptop and your phone. You’d also headed out of the door with your pillow too. Though you didn’t mind using the ones at Antoine’s when you stayed over, you didn’t want to go without at least one home comfort and found Theo waiting patiently outside. 

“Ready?” he asked and you nodded. 

He drove far enough out of town not to seem suspicious before pulling over when possible. Within ten minutes, Antoine’s car pulled up behind Theo’s and you were able to switch everything from Theo’s car to Antoine’s. The cooler you’d packed everything in that afternoon was on the back seat and he’d taken care of the road trip snacks. 

“Taking a leaf out of my book?”

“Thought it was time I paid you back for all those dinners you made or bought. And...” he tapped behind you both to the cup holder slot and you couldn’t help but laugh when you see he’s bought you both a coffee. 

“Well played. Very well played.”

Like Theo, Antoine can’t help but burst into song and the further you drive away from the university and the life you’d carved out there, the more he relaxes. He rests his arm against the window, his hand leisurely sits at the bottom of the steering wheel as the roads were mostly clear. Occasionally you’ll spot him glance over at you and smile to himself. Catching him off guard as he swaps hands, resting the one nearest to you in his lap, you reach across and link your fingers with his, putting a bigger smile on his face as he lifts your joined hands to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of your hand.

__

The difference in Antoine only continued to show as the days passed. With the first one out of the way and mostly a blur thanks to the miles put between you and where you were living, by the time you reached your destination, both of you were feeling more than a little cramped, hungry and in need of the bathroom. Where he’d rented was quiet, both close to what you needed but far enough away to not be disturbed. The beach was a fifteen-minute drive and he promised to take you on more than one of the days. You’d fallen into the bed, too tired to do anything other than sleep.

Being away from what you both know brought different feelings for you. You loved how carefree Antoine became and the way that he fully relaxed around you. You loved the freedom being here gave to you both, but with freedom gave time to think and that’s where it became darker. Here, where no-one knew you, it was easy to imagine a life where neither of you had to hide. You knew that other professors had relationships with students and it wasn’t uncommon, but it was never, to your knowledge, with the ones they were actively teaching. It made you wonder how it would be for you both had he not been your professor. Then again, he probably wouldn’t have initiated anything. Or had it been you? 

You remember it was you that had asked him to kiss you. You’d taken that step of course, the one that created such an intimate step for you both but it was him who had broken down the boundaries and created the friendship. It had been him who had put himself in your life whether you wanted him there or not and now, you couldn’t imagine him not being there.

“Do you like having me in your class?” You find yourself asking him. 

“Why are you asking that?” He frowns. 

“I’m curious.”

“Of course I do.”

“But what do you like? Having me in your class or having my grades adding to your credentials?” He stops walking and turns to look at you. 

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“You don’t know whe-”

“You want out.” He replies, his lips setting in a firm line.

“I was just consideri-” You stop at the expression on his face, noticing the way his jaw clenches. “Antoine be reasonable.”

“So you drop my class and then what?” he folds his arms across his chest. 

“I wasn’t fully considering it. I was just wondering.”

“You didn’t answer.”

“Because you’re judging me already. I wasn’t thinking that far ahead, it’s just something I was thinking about.”

“So tell me.”

“I was thinking about what would have happened if I hadn’t taken your class. Would we still be here, now? Probably not. I don’t think you would have looked at me like that.”

“Why?”

“Other than work, when would you have seen me? Had reason to look at me? You only interacted with me at work because I was in your class. I was just thinking about how different things could have been. The only reason anything happened between us is because of that paper.”

“Because of your temper.” He replies as his eyebrow raises.

“Because of what you said about the paper.”

“Because you could do better. And you did. So I was right.” He sighs and sucks his lips in, slowly letting them out until his teeth bite the top of his bottom one while he stares past you. “I don’t know how things would have worked out. Would I have dared to strike up a conversation with the cute barista had I not known who you were? I don’t know. I’d like to think I’d have grown some confidence over the months but considering….everything, it probably wouldn’t have been as soon as it happened for us now. In this version of events. We happened for a reason, the way we happened. Don’t dwell on it.”

__

You tried not to dwell as Antoine had asked. Whenever he’d spot you going back into yourself, he’d pull you back out again. Get you both out of the house and do something that didn’t require you to think. 

“Just let me make you happy, please. Relax.” He’d asked and you couldn’t say no. 

Doing was much easier than saying. He made it impossible for you to second guess anything and the more things you did, the more it just felt right. You’d wake up beside him and though he’d look peaceful, you’d long to wake him up. This was, you realised, what you both needed. The time away, the pressure off you both. You were able to see Antoine for who he was and being around him 24/7 meant that he couldn’t hide any part of him. He was stripped bare emotionally as well as physically. 

“You know...we don’t really have neighbours. There’s no reason to be quiet.”

“Antoine.” You’d warned. 

“All I’m saying is, now would be a good time to see what you liked…” he’d trailed a hand up your thighs and your body had spoken for you. You’d felt your legs open further and allowed him to do as he pleased. 

You’d both used the time well, with no interruptions, nowhere to go or anyone else to see, the two of you had put together a list which was quickly getting worked through. One of which, he’d said he’d liked the idea of being woken up by getting a blow job.

“There’s just something about being pulled from a dream to find you sucking my dick.” He’d shivered as the thought fully registered and he’d grinned. And so, you’d woken him up on more than one morning, his cock in your mouth as he’d come around. “Good morning to you.” He’d stretched out leisurely, tucking an arm behind his head and watched as you’d given him his first orgasm of the day. He was more than willing to reciprocate, choosing to dine on you rather than any breakfast materials in the kitchen and though you knew this wouldn’t last when you got home, it was the perfect way to start your mornings here.  

Here, he’d walk behind you, his arms around your waist and his chin on your shoulder. He relished in the idea of being an open boyfriend, giving you little kisses on your hairline and temple. He’d buy ice cream and dot it on your nose, chased you along the beach with whatever he could find that would get the biggest reaction and he, literally, runs with it until you can’t anymore and end up in the sand with Antoine wrapping his arm around you, laughing into your neck as he stands behind you and dangles whatever it is in front of you tauntingly.

Though the weather has mostly been ok, you’ve had a mix of warmer days and cold, blustery ones thanks to being so close to the coast. The mix of clothes was certainly needed and this evening as the two of you sit on a towel on the beach, watching as the sun begins to set and you know it’ll be a matter of time before you can’t sit here anymore and have to sit on the wall with your legs dangling off as you eat the picnic-style evening meal he’d prepared, it’s the best way to spend it.

You turn to say something to him, but his focus is on the waves and the skyline. There’s a small smile on his lips as he thinks about something, the sun streams directly onto his face, highlighting the blonde of his hair and emphasising the blue of his eyes. The three-day stubble that’s growing across his jaw makes you want to kiss him there. He turns, feeling your eyes on him but before you can say anything, the thought I love you takes shape and leaves you speechless.

[lullabieswrappedinlies]

Boston Boys [Part Ten]

Summary: Amidst another bank robbery, Chris and Elsa make plans to get away; John makes a confession to Aurelie.   Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC, John Krasinski x OFC Word Count: 1938 Chapter Warnings: Memories of bank robbery and hostage situation, angst, trauma. A/N: This story contains a character who lost her hearing as she got older. I do work closely and regularly with the D/deaf community (I’m a sign language interpreter), but my own hearing problems do not involve significant hearing loss. It is not my intention to offend anyone, only to bring in a character with a quality I don’t see often in other fics. If you have questions about her, feel free to ask :)

Boston Boys Masterlist

Just as Elsa was beginning to think summer might never come to Boston, her semester ended and all she had to do was work at the bank. She had been seeing Chris for a couple of months now. The memory of the bank robbery was growing more and more distant. All in all, life wasn’t so bad.

She was laying in the bed in Chris’s new apartment -- one he had secured only a few weeks ago. Elsa had helped him pick out the furnishings and decor; she loved playing house with Chris.

Who was she kidding at this point? The thing she loved the most was being with Chris. She loved Chris. She was in love with Chris.

He came back to the bed with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. Elsa grinned and pulled the sheet up under her arms before accepting one of the spoons from him. Chris set the lid on the nightstand, then sidled up next to Elsa. They dug into the ice cream together. Chris hit the clicker to turn on the TV, and the sounds of the evening news filled the bedroom.

“What are you gonna do with your summer, beautiful?”

Elsa shrugged. “You mean besides spending time with you? Work the bank. Visit home, I guess. Nothing exciting.”

“Let’s take a vacation.” He swallowed a spoonful of ice cream. “Seb’s back up to par, he can cover for me at the shop for a while. We could stop and visit your family, then go up to Maine for a little coastal getaway.”

“You want to meet my family?” Elsa asked. That wasn’t at all what she was expecting.

“I wanna meet your family,” Chris confirmed, taking the spoon from her and setting it to the side with his spoon and the ice cream. “Is that too serious?”

Elsa shook her head. “No. I think I’m pretty serious about you. I know I am, actually. You came into my life at a really horrible time --”

“... made away with over a hundred thousand dollars. The robbers were described as three men and one woman by their voices, though they were wearing masks, hoodies, and gloves, so no other identifying factors were noted. Investigators believe that this may be the same group who robbed Boston Private and took a hostage several months ago.”

That horrible time Elsa had been ready to reference and forget about was suddenly the only thing she could think about. She flashed back to the other teller giving her up as the one with the code for the safe that day, to being yelled at and hit and taken away into that van. Her breath came in short gasps and she reached for Chris’s hand.

“Hey, hey -- breathe, Elsa. Breathe. C’mon.”

Chris encouraged her over and over to breathe, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t get past the hyperventilating and the sobbing. Chris pulled her into his lap, stroking her hair and waiting the reaction out. When she finally began to calm, he clicked the mute button, then wiped away the tear stains from her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Els,” he apologized, “I should have been paying more attention to what was on the news.”

“It’s not your fault,” Elsa assured.

Chris smoothed her hair away from her face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just -- they’re still out there, Chris. They still know where I live and they still are doing this to other people. What if the police want to ask me more questions with this new investigation? I want to put it all behind me. I thought I had. I finished the semester with good grades, despite everything. I found you, and things are going so well. Now all of this is slammed back in my face.”

The tears began again. Chris leaned her against his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s go away, all right? We’ll go visit your family, we’ll get away to Maine. I’ll plan everything.”

Elsa nodded against his chest. Sniffling back the tears, she tipped her head up to Chris. When he kissed her softly, Elsa pulled the kiss into more passionate depths. Whatever she could to replace the pain with pleasure.

In a different part of Boston, Aurelie was getting home from a long hospital shift. Though no serious cases had come though, a summer virus had filled the rooms non-stop, it seemed. She had stayed a few extra hours to deal with the overflow before coming home.

She dropped her bag at the front door, then set her cochlear implant on the table by the door, as she usually did, and kicked her shoes off. Her phone buzzed in her pocket; as much as she wanted to ignore it, the possibility of being called back to the hospital when she was needed kept her from letting the call go to voicemail.

I’m at your front door. I would knock, but I know you probably wouldn’t hear me right now.

John’s text message was enough to pull a smile to her face. Aurelie tossed her phone to the side, then opened her front door and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him almost before he was ready. He smiled against her mouth and wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her off the ground and carrying her into the apartment before shutting the door behind him.

When John set her down, Aurelie reached for her implant, but he put a hand over hers. She frowned and asked him what was up.

“I want to tell you something.” He said the words while also fumbling through signing what he was trying to say. With a deep breath, he continued. “I’ve been learning a little so I can tell you an important thing in a way that’s important to you. I love you, Aurelie.”

He even remembered her name sign. With tears in her eyes, Aurelie nodded. She had known when they accepted each other, despite the family backgrounds, that love would come -- and she had waited with great anticipation for this day. She never could have imagined, though, that John would have made the moment so special. So, without speaking, Aurelie signed her reply.

“I love you, too.”

Chris hadn’t dragged his feet on planning their vacation, and by mid-June, Elsa was preparing to head to New York for a few days alone with her family before Chris followed after finishing his week at the barber shop.

They had said their goodbyes at her apartment that morning before Chris went to work, but Elsa had a surprise for him for his birthday, coming up in a couple of days. He wouldn’t arrive in New York until the day after his birthday, but she couldn’t wait. She stopped at the jeweler to pick up the gift, then made time to stop at the shop before she took a cab to Logan.

The bell over the door rang when she entered the shop, and six faces turned to look at Elsa. She spotted Chris immediately and, after giving everyone else a shy little wave, made way over to his chair.

“Hey,” she greeted, kissing his cheek, “I was hoping to catch you between clients.”

Chris kissed her quickly, then took her by the elbow and turned her to the rest of the shop crew. He made quick introductions, then hurried her out of the shop to the front sidewalk.

“This was a good surprise,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her again.

Elsa chuckled. “I’ve never seen you this nervous.”

“Well, ya know, I’ve told them I’m seeing someone, but it’s been a long time since I’ve introduced someone to my family. I was caught off guard is all.”

“That makes sense. I’m sorry to put you in a bad position.”

“No, no,” Chris assured, shaking his head adamantly, holding her hands up to his lips and kissing her knuckles. “I was nervous, is all. In a good way. I’m glad you were the one to break the cycle.”

Elsa grinned and pulled the small box from her bag and gave it to him. “I had a good reason for stopping by, promise. I know it’s not your birthday yet, but I was too excited to wait to give you your gift. Happy birthday, Chris.”

He ran his hand over the smooth lid of the box, then leaned down to kiss her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Open it!”

Chris grinned too and tucked the lid underneath the box. He raised his brow at the all-black watch set inside. Elsa took it out for him and turned the watch so he could see behind the watch face.

“‘Trust the timing’,” he read out loud. He smiled to himself; a fitting statement for them. “This is perfect, Elsa. It’s amazing. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know that, but I saved up. I wanted to do this for you.”

Chris cupped her face and kissed her again, softly. “Will you take this with you to New York? I want to take you out when I get there, and I don’t want to chance forgetting this, so I can wear it.”

Elsa nodded and helped him put the watch back in the box before putting it back in her bag. They shared a couple more kisses, then Chris hailed her a cab to take her to the airport. Elsa smiled to herself as the yellow car drove away; she couldn’t wait to be home with Chris and her family.

Chris stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes after Elsa left, smoking a cigarette and preparing himself for the reaction of the crew. He had lit a second cigarette, in an effort to delay the inevitable, when the bell over the shop door rang again.

“Got a light?”

He dug the lighter from his pocket and leaned over to light Scarlett’s cigarette. Things were quiet for about a minute, and then she spoke.

“The rest of them didn’t recognize her, and I’m not going to say anything. They all like her -- what they got from the thirty seconds before you rushed her out.” Scarlett took a long drag from her cigarette. “I like her, too. I can see you do, and you should see how she lights up when she looks at you.”

Chris sighed, scratching at a spot above his eye with his thumb. “Scar …”

“What are you doing, Chris? What’s gonna happen when she finds out you were part of the team that traumatized her and changed her life forever? We scarred her, do you get that? And now you’re fucking her and she’s falling in love with you.”

“I’m not fucking her,” Chris rebutted. “I’m serious about her. Is that why you’re so pissed? Is it really about the robbery?”

Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Whatever feelings I thought I had left for you, Chris, were gone when you went MIA when Seb needed you. Who the fuck does that?” She shook her head and threw the butt of her cigarette in a puddle nearby. “It doesn’t matter, it’s passed. Seb’s forgiven you, so I guess I should, too. Just know that I’ve moved on from all of that. The problem now is what’s gonna happen when she finds out who you really are.”

Scarlett went back into the shop. Chris shoved his hands in his pockets; Scar wasn’t wrong. He had fucked up, in more ways than one. Then and there, he decided that before they came back to Boston from Maine, he would tell Elsa the truth.

Tags: @themtbmbgirl​​ @keithseabrook27​​​ @ulovemelightsout​​​ @rosie2801​​​ @professorkrasinski​​​