#REDUCED TO MY BASE COMPONENTS

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

OH MY GOD THIS IS EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND MORE YES, the emotion in kdj’s body language is so visceral, and the last little bit where he lets go of the tension and yjh feels it, recognizing it as either acceptance or simply kdj losing the fight, and takes the chance to close that last little unspoken gap between them. Maybe for only this small moment, but yjh clearly shows what he’s feeling through the hug, and kdj is helpless but to interpret it and the rawness that it is. TSIXIYFINDUGXUGCOJV AND YOUR AUTHORS NOTES I AM EATING THEM

Follow up to this post brought to you by @forgetme-eternally-blissfully, in fanfic snippet format because I gave up on drawing the comic (the fanfic was supposed to be a comic draft but I added too many details)

Kim Dokja lays on the ground among the rubble of a ruined building. He twitches a little before his eyes open. The world is blurry. In the distance, he can see a dark blur fluttering around his surroundings. As his vision comes into focus, he can recognize Yoo Joonghyuk searching through the debris.

A sharp pain coming from his side causes Kim Dokja to let out a groan as he struggles to push himself up to a sitting position. The sound catches Yoo Joonghyuk's attention and immediately he starts making a beeline in Kim Dokja's direction.

As Yoo Joonghyuk approaches, Kim Dokja takes note of Yoo Joonghyuk's tattered coat, his bloodstained body, the wounds on his face, hands, legs. None too serious though some deep enough to inevitably leave scars later.

Yoo Joonghyuk is getting closer, kneeling down, reaching his hand out towards Kim Dokja's face, making a move to pull Kim Dokja in when Kim Dokja decides to open his mouth.

"You're not losing your balance and having trouble standing are you? I'm not going to carry you on my back this time."

"Shut up," is all Yoo Joonghyuk says as he wraps his arms around Kim Dokja's shoulders. His grip is tight, one hand on the back of Kim Dokja's head, the other circled around his upper back.

There is a gash in Kim Dokja's side that throbs with pain. Blood loss has his head spinning and his vision blurring again. From where his face is pressed into Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulder, Kim Dokja can smell blood, sweat, smoke. Buildings continue to crumple in the background and the sound of something falling pitters in his ears. His hands tense and untense, relax and remain by his sides.

Kim Dokja lets out a breath and leans into Yoo Joonghyuk, just slightly. Just enough so that Yoo Joonghyuk can tighten his hold by a hair.

----------

Author's notes (what would normally be my image caption):

I said in the referenced post that Kim Dokja has no trouble reciprocating affection once someone else initiates, but I think Yoo Joonghyuk is the exception. Always exceptional, that one. At least during the Scenarios.

Kim Dokja can read his movements, see what Yoo Joonghyuk is aiming to do, can read his mind, dammit. But he can't comprehend his actions. Yoo Joonghyuk acting in a way that Kim Dokja doesn't know about is something that happens more and more often as time goes on, and serves as a reminder of the wall that exists between a protagonist and a reader, but also the wall that exists between two normal people. Because at this moment, Kim Dokja is still struggling to see Yoo Joonghyuk as his own person instead of a protagonist or a 1863x-regressor-to-be. He's blinded by what he knows and has seen in his own past, which he assumes will be Yoo Joonghyuk's future. When he looks at him, does he see those ghosts of the future flickering superimposed over the shape of the man before him? This is the sort of wall that exists between them.

So when Yoo Joonghyuk acts outside of Kim Dokja's expectations, Kim Dokja tries to push them back on course with banter. "Yoo Joonghyuk is getting closer, kneeling down, reaching his hand out towards Kim Dokja's face, making a move to pull Kim Dokja in-" Kim Dokja sees all of this, takes note of all of this, knows what's to come of it. Doesn't understand it one bit. He's not oblivious. It's more like, "Why? Why me? Why would someone feel this way about and want to do these things with me?" He KNOWS the effect he has on people. He intentionally calculates how much he interacts with Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung to ensure their loyalty towards him in the early scenarios (not so much so after like Scenario 5-ish so we're talking early-early scenarios. After that point he more supports them in the direction they want to go (when that direction is the direction he already wanted them to go anyways. something something picking teammates because he knew they were already loyal and righteous by nature, nurturing them so that they would be able to carry out their justice no matter the adversary. He chose them because he knew they were loyal and strong, but they weren't loyal or strong at the time. But they would be in the future. But they wouldn't have been without him. But in another time where he didn't exist they were strong anyways see this is how he is able to have ultimate faith in his party members and know the kind of support he has given them while still being unable to recognize his own value in the grand scheme of things. Because they would have been fine without him, he's SEEN it. This is another wall between him and other people, another future ghost)). So he knows how much influence he has in other peoples' lives. But he values himself so little that he is blind to the emotional, sentimental weight he has to these people. No matter how much he knows he's done for them, he won't see himself as worthy of genuine praise or recognition, affection, love.

So this lack of self recognition extends to his perception of all of his companions, but especially so to Yoo Joonghyuk. Yoo Joonghyuk is probably the person whom Kim Dokja is the most strict about characterization with. Kim Dokja knows him the best, it's true, but he also doesn't know a damn thing about him as a person instead of a character and that makes him feel a certain way. Vulnerable, I think. Lonely. That childish feeling of betrayal when the characters walk off the page without him. There are sides to people and characters that you will never know simply because they weren't observed. And there are sides of people that you have no right to know. It is by becoming a person instead of a reader that you must abide by those rules and give up omniscience. Part of being a person and recognizing another's personhood is to willingly not know everything about them.

Anyways. He's not there yet. Not by Hug Attempt #2. This was supposed to have 3 parts with the last one set after the epilogue but we'll see if I ever get to it.

[flawseer]

#18 - "Fire"

Smaugust 2024

The last few submissions have been mostly visual, but today I want to do something more text-based. I'm always looking for opportunities to ramble ad nauseam about my headcanons and thoughts, but am usually hesitant if I don't think I can make a subject interesting or particularly insightful.

A few months back I was playing with the thought of publishing a speculative analysis on Pyrrhian dragon breath weapons, and how they might differ between tribes. I got up to the conceptualization stage, but then @sidyashchiy-na-plakhe came out with a better and more put-together version of what I was thinking about and touched on some similar points, so I filed those plans away to not step on any toes. If you're enjoying this type of deliberation, I recommend that you check out his take, as it is very thoughtfully put together with some cool visuals.

But, seeing as I have no other ideas for this prompt, and since it's been a while since then, I'm going to air out my scrapped draft here. I guess this is a mixture between canon information and headcanons, with a bias toward the latter.

General Information

Each of the seven Pyrrhian tribes is capable of using a kind of orally-discharged means of attack. For the purpose of this deliberation, I am going to refer to all of these as "breath weapons", even though not all of them are activated via exhalation. It will make things easier to talk about.

There are three general factors to each type of breath weapon, those being potency, range, and start-up time. In the case of fire breath--the most ubiquitous type of breath weapon on the continent--these would roughly correlate to the temperature of the flames, how far they can travel from the source while maintaining their shape and intensity, and for how long the fire must be stoked inside of the user before it can be expelled.

How developed these factors are differs for every dragon, but the two biggest determining modifiers are constitution and age. Being physically fit will make your breath weapon more efficient--and thus stronger--because you have better control over your breathing after exertion. As a dragon advances in age, the three factors all increase proportionally. A Mudwing hatchling can produce a puff of flame very quickly, but it will barely heat up the surrounding air. An elder meanwhile might take several minutes to get their fire going, but when they do, the result will be fearsome and devastating.

Fire is the most common element on the continent, with four of the seven tribes being able to command it. I will go through those first and then follow up with the other variants .

Nightwing fire is a dark purple in color, due to a slight variation in the gas component that fuels the flames.

The flames have no particularly outstanding properties strength-wise, but they emit comparatively little light, meaning they don't stand out as much against the night sky. This makes them ideal for low-profile ambushing, but very unsuitable as signal flares.

If a Nightwing ignites an object, the flames will gradually lose this characteristic as they will begin to consume the air around them and turn into ordinary, orange fire.

Nightwing flames are sometimes colloquially referred to as "Moonfire".

Sandwing fire is, on average, the least powerful among all the fire-breathing dragons. In terms of potency and range, flames emitted by a Sandwing of 20 years will be roughly equivalent to those of a twelve-year-old from the other fire-breathing tribes.

Their unique advantage is that Sandwings can produce these flames extremely quickly, usually within seconds. If readying fire takes a dragon 30 seconds, an equivalent Sandwing can do it in 5.

While for most other dragons the use of their breath weapon is a deliberate and calculated affair, the severely reduced start-up time allows Sandwings to "shoot from the hip" without having to commit to the action, making them less predictable in combat.

A popular Sandwing combat technique is to open a fight by blowing a quick plume of weak fire into an opponent's face and then using the resulting distraction to strike with their venomous tails.

Skywings command the strongest and purest variation of fire among all tribes. Their flames come out very straight and can maintain their shape over vast distances.

They can "cook" their fire by holding it inside themselves for longer than necessary. While this becomes unpleasant or even painful if done for long, it will increase the temperature and purity of the resulting flames far beyond what any of the other tribes are capable of.

Flames emitted after doing this for long enough will come out with an intense blue color that can cut through stone.

For dragons afflicted with firescales, all of the fire they breathe will be like this, as their bodies are already channeling flames at all times to fuel the burning scales.

Because Skywing fire is so intense, it is at times difficult to control. Skywings who become emotional will often start smoking from their nostrils involuntarily.

Mudwing fire, sometimes referred to as "moody fire", is very temperamental. Its strength will vary widely based on a number of different factors, not all of them fully understood, making it appear random at times.

The most commonly understood factor that influences a Mudwing's fire is the ambient temperature. Mudwings will struggle to produce flames in environments that are too cold (close to freezing weather, very cold water, etc.). This can be partially mitigated by ingesting hot stews, soups, or beverages before fire usage.

A factor that isn't as well documented is that the Mudwing's fire breath and their uncanny healing factor are fueled by the same source. This means a Mudwing's fire will be strongest when they are healthy, and begin to diminish if they become injured, as their body will divert resources away from the breath weapon to prioritize keeping itself alive, functioning, and mobile.

Mudwings hatched from blood eggs have a tendency to develop poor breath weapons, as their super-charged healing factor--while potent enough to outpace most damage sustained from fire--is even more resource-hungry than that of a regular Mudwing.

Icewings don't breathe fire. Instead, they are able to exhale a stream of frost magic. There is nothing I can think of to scientifically explain all the properties of frostbreath as they are presented in canon, especially with regards to Queen Battlewinner. Ice that makes you lava-proof? Nah, this is straight-up magic. All Icewings are born with a small piece of magic and this is how it expresses itself.

Contrary to popular belief, frostbreath is not stronger than firebreath. In terms of general characteristics, Icewings and Nightwings are actually roughly equivalent.

What makes frostbreath more overtly lethal than fire breath is the magical component. When frostbreath comes in contact with living tissue, it will form ice crystals on and inside the surface. All flesh in contact with these crystals will gradually turn necrotic. This process is very painful.

The crystals are very persistent and it requires sustained exposure to intense heat to melt them. The best way to accomplish this is via prolonged bath in warm water (close to boiling). This method, if applied quickly after the injury, will usually result in recovery after a few hours of bathing.

Getting hit while in a situation with no access to warm water is very dangerous and potentially lethal. If treatment does not begin soon after, the crystals will begin to spread, killing more tissue and making recovery increasingly less likely, especially once the injury spreads to internal organs.

It is not uncommon for soldiers who get hit by frost breath and are caught out in the open with no treatment options to cut off the afflicted body part to minimize tissue loss.

Icewings are more resistant to frostbreath than other dragons, but not fully immune. They can succumb to the same injuries.

If an Icewing suffers an intense burn, particularly in and around the face, they become completely unable to exhale frost until the burn begins to heal.

Rainwings do not have a breath weapon. Instead, they produce an acidic venom within their bodies, which can be administered through biting, or launched at targets through a pair of collapsible, hollow fangs.

The gland that produces this venom needs sunlight to develop properly. Once the Rainwing has been exposed to sufficient sunlight, venom production will begin, and may even continue without further exposure, but it is recommended to sunbathe for at least 5 hours a week to keep the gland healthy and the venom potent.

The venom is strongly corrosive and able to dissolve most organic materials like wood, plant matter, and flesh. It is potent enough that, if it enters another creature's blood stream directly (via bite, an open wound, or the eyes), that creature will die within seconds.

The venom's lethality will rapidly decrease once it separates from the user. If it hits surface tissue and has to burn through layers flesh, it will usually lose too much of its toxicity before it reaches the blood stream (though it will still function as acid and be excruciatingly painful).

Rainwings are immune to their own venom, but not the venom of other Rainwings. Mixing a sample of venom with the venom of a close blood relative will cancel out the destructive properties of both.

Seawings are amphibious dragons who prefer to live in water, but can also go on land and exist there in relative comfort for a decent while. Their body contains an organ that stores water, from which it periodically draws to keep the Seawing's skin from drying out.

When under duress, a Seawing can forcefully expel the contents of this organ through their mouth as a pressurized jet of water. While this is not very destructive, it can momentarily stun aggressors and allow the Seawing to retreat to the safety of a nearby lake or river.

If the blast is held inside and charged up similar to the fire breath of other tribes, the Seawing is able to draw from their body heat to increase the water's temperature to scalding degrees.

[trishmishtree]

The more time I spend sewing my own clothes, the more I've come to accept that I have a stupidly short waist, and no commercial pattern, modern or historical reproduction, ever fits me right (except, like, empire waist dresses)... so say hello to the 1890s inspired waistcoat that I self-drafted using a modern princess seam bodice patten!

It took a mockup or two, but I think it got me there faster than a commercial pattern would have, since the base princess seam pattern already fit me (traced off an existing modern dress I own). Besides, a lot of the components are already there, including those curvy front darts, which is what you get if you take a princess bodice pattern and tape together the front and side-front pieces from the shoulder down to the apex of the bust but then leave the rest of the seam open like a dart. (We're not going to talk about the fit of the back because I still need to do a swayback adjustment to my bodice block. Someday I will make a matching puffy-sleeved Eton jacket to wear over it and then we'll never need to see this wrinkly ill-fitting back again. )

The design of the waistcoat is based on the Truly Victorian and Black Snail 1890s waistcoat patterns. I don't buy TV patterns, ever (owing to some racist comments the owner made and then doubled down on a few years ago about the Costume College "silk road" theme), and Black Snail has a habit of automatically factoring 2 inches of waist reduction into the final garment (which really doesn't work with my skeletal structure and inability to reduce my waist, and only added to my fears of trying to fit that pattern to my stupid short torso).

I'm wearing the skirt and waistcoat over my Elphaba shirtdress from last month and the period-appropriate underpinnings (chemise, c0rset, hip padding, and petticoat--oh, and I made sleeve supports to keep those puffed shirt sleeves from collapsing). I also added extra stays inside the waistcoat to give it more structure so it can also be worn without a c0rset (my waist measures the same with or without one anyway) or over modern clothes if I ever wanted to do that.

There's also a little welt pocket on the left side for a pocket watch and chain. The pocket was a last minute addition, and it kind of shows. If I had been planning ahead, I would've moved the dart placement more medially to give the pocket more room to exist and not be shoved so far to the side. I'll have to make a note on my pattern to fix that for next time.

Entire thing is 100% hand sewn because my machine is still on the fritz. This is only my second attempt at tailoring, but I'm pretty happy with how everything turned out.

[magnus-marmot]

TMAGP 39 analysis: Dreams in seven stages

SPOILERS. Please listen to the episode first, I'll leave my analysis under the cut. This feels big. It will also be a long post so buckle up.

Yes, the episode was heartbreaking and I do feel emotions, but I'm also way too deep into the alchemy rabbit hole to comment on the emotional impact. So I'll get right into the meat of it all, ie. Alice's statement. I was excepting to get a pure fear-based statement, and you can certainly read it as a mixture of the Buried, Corruption, Flesh and maybe Desolation. But it feels oddly fragmented to represent the fears, and that's because it's instead an almost perfect analogy for a transmutation. Let me first walk you through the seven stages of the Great Work (the number of stages vary from text to text but I'm going with seven) and explain how they relate to the statement, and then I'll get to what I think this all means.

1. Calcination

Alice is wrapped in a curtain and begins to heat up, much like how matter is trapped inside a container and burned down to ashes. Psychologically, this stage signifies the beginning of the ego death, and it burns away your conscious mind and the rigid societal masks, such as Alice's customer service role in the dream.

"I start to struggle, first in anger and then in panic as I grow hotter and hotter and feel myself begin to suffocate." [...] "I can’t breathe any more and it’s so warm and… wet. The cloth is sodden and warm and heavy."

The heating wasn't always done by direct fire, it was sometimes achieved by encasing the matter within other substances and letting its "natural heat" do the work. This would be a much slower process and wouldn't necessarily reduce the matter to ashes (but would nevertheless reveal its body or Salt).

2. Dissolution

Alice's ego has stopped resisting the transformation, and she's beginning to dissolve. At this point, alchemists would reintroduce moisture into the remaining matter or Salt (sometimes inserting its own sublimated Mercury back into it, sometimes purifying it with other liquids). This is what Jung would equate to dissolving into the dark mercurial sea of the unconscious.

"There is a deep, low roar all around me, rumbling and rushing in all directions; incessant and overwhelming. Soon I can’t tell the difference between the noise around me and the rushing of my own blood in my ears. They are one and the same… swelling and ebbing in time together."

This is the purifying water rushing in and Alice dissolving into it, her own blood becoming one with the solution.

"I recognise what is wrapped around me, what is shrouding me and smothering me and will not let me free: Living, sweating flesh."

As a side note: This is both confusing and interesting to me, because Bonzo's been associated with sweating skin a couple of times now. In alchemy, "sweat" or "dew" is often associated with the moisture that forms on the outside of the glass vessel when it's heated. Not sure what to make of this, but it feels connected. Especially with the curtain also being both wet and warm. I'm yet to find the perfect text that ties skin to alchemy.

3. Separation

At this stage, we can finally separate the matter into its components, find its true essence and separate it from the rest. Similarly, Alice is able to locate the source of her pain and fear within herself:

"I reach for it but it’s burrowed too deep into me. I just want to grab it and rip it out, tear out whatever is inside me, throw the festering mass as far from me as I can." [...] "It is me and I am it and I am trapped within myself and no matter what I do I will never escape this living tomb."

Psychologically, this is the moment Jung describes as encountering our own Shadow in the unconscious.

4. Conjunction

Perhaps the most important stage in an alchemical work. It's when two opposing substances are combined in a union. The purified aspects of the matter are brought back together, the gold is unified with the silver, Jung's contrasexual archetypes (Animus and Anima) are reconciled with each other. Symbolically, it's the union of the king and queen, sun and moon, Sulphur and Mercury, mind and body, or...

Sam and Alice.

"You are there and we are together again. There is no speech, no contact beyond the crushing embrace of skin and bone to which we belong but I can feel you within myself and feel myself within you. And while I lie foetal and squirming in this bloody rushing meat you stand cracked and sharp, enshrined in bone but we are together… together…"

5-7 Fermentation, Distillation and Coagulation

The last stages are intermingled and run through pretty fast in the statement. Basically, in fermentation the matter is let to rot and decompose (ie. putrefied) so that new life can be born out of the remains. In distillation, liquid is extracted from the matter, after which it's cooled and condensed and then sometimes reintroduced to the mixture in a series of circular processes. Eventually, the matter is coagulated, and it takes its final, physical form. Psychologically, it's where the self emerges through integration of the conscious ego and the unconscious shadow.

"Then it begins to cool, the overbearing heat slowly giving way to a pallid chill as the once pliant muscle stiffens like cured leather around and between us. We can feel the liquid pooling beneath then slowly rising, tepid and viscous as the skin wilts and sags upon us, dragging us down into bubbling putrescence below. The body, our body, rots, warping and wilting and bulging and melting, around us and within us, sloughing off and away leaving us, only us, naked and withered and bleeding and starving and shitting and dying… but together. Always together."

So what does this all mean?

Now's the time for my hear-me-outs. If we are to accept that the reality rift that ended the Eyepocalypse has (mostly) banished the fear entities from that universe, and that the fears are potentially bleeding into other dimensions (such as our TMAGP one)... who's to say that it's a one-way street? What if the fears are bleeding in, but at the same time the alchemy is bleeding out?

Apparently, there are now people in the TMA universe who keep revisiting their domains in their dreams. As we have seen, dreams are a recurring theme on both sides of the rift, and I think it's also bringing people closer to the border. Dreaming and meditation are considered states that bring one's mind closer to the collective unconscious (or the mercurial sea), which is why archetypes often manifest in our dreams. If you recall in episode 17, the anger management guy was transported into another dimension when he was meditating in a doctor's waiting room that (and this was specifically pointed out to us) didn't have a clock on the wall. So he's sitting in a definitionally liminal space with no sense of time, and his mind was in an altered state of consciousness. My point is, the dreams are not caused by the fears, they are bringing these people closer to the boundary between the realities, where they get their fix of whatever dark domain-induced fantasy it is they're clinging to. (Almost like something's reflecting their twisted wishes, hmm.)

I feel like I have to revisit the case about that Beholding-obsessed victim of bullying. There were some oddities about that statement where my alchemy bells were ringing, but I brushed it off since I thought we were only dealing with the fears on this side. However, with this statement being such an obvious allegory, I feel like there might be something more for me to dig into.

P.S. This episode truly did break my heart. I just wish she could let go.

Edit: After writing this I realised that it's also the five stages of grief, which is why the final three stages were sort of jumbled together in the fifth and final stage.

[demonslayedher]

Kimetsu no Yaiba merch and a chance to get nerdy with it? Don’t mind if I do.

Bath time!!

This set of a towel, badge to hang on a bag like one you might take to your local bathhouse, and Swordsmith Village onsen-inspired bath salt was originally sold at the traveling Gotouge gallery, but many of those items were put up for sale again recently at a handful of Shonen Jump stores. I highly enjoyed the very flamboyant bath bomb I got at an Ufotable gallery, so I decided to give it a shot. I like onsen too, and the one in the Swordsmith Village is supposed to be especially nice, right?

In order to be classified as such in the modern Reiwa era, naturally occurring onsen must be at least 25 degrees C when the water emerges from the earth and have a minimum concentration of 1 to 19 certain minerals (amounts per 1kg of water vary depending on the mineral). If they have enough dissolved mineral content to be an onsen but don’t have a particularly high concentration of any mineral, they are classified as simple, low-alkaline onsen. So like, still nice, but harder to brag about. Locals will brag anyway. However, if the water has a high enough concentration of a particular kind of mineral, then it will be classified into different categories. The locals will really brag about these ones and their many health and beauty benefits, and even though there have been studies of some sort, it’s safest to say “purported” benefits. If you want to get nerdy with it, start here.

So anyway, the manga didn’t get that detailed, but, Ufotable wrote this in about the Swordsmith Village onsen: “It can heal anything, like cuts, burns, hemorrhoids and bleeding piles, constipation, gout, broken heart, anything.”

However, this is a product from a manga gallery, and Ufotable did not necessarily influence the making of it. Going by this product (which I’ll bet Gotouge had no influence on the production of), here are some things we might suppose. This particular product is a mix of sodium sulfate, sodium chloride, sodium bicarbonate, sodium carbonate, and sodium thiosulfate. If you’re only bathing in it and not drinking it (and the package says not to drink it), then it purportedly would help with cuts, bruises, burns, skin ailments, dry skin, reducing inflammation, muscle pain, joint pain, sensitivity to the cold, depression, and the ever mysterious “women’s ailments.” If you were to drink clean onsen waters like these, it purportedly could also help with constipation, too.

Although it’s not enough to consider it something your body would absorb any benefit from, there is enough sulfur in this product to give it a fun(ky) smell. Enough of a sulfur smell to make your brain think, “yay, onsen,” without quite enough to think “ew, rotten eggs.” Now, this suggests that the onsen in the Swordsmith Village also has that mineral component, which would also purportedly make it good for treating acne and diabetes. This might also be one of the components that made it hard for Tanjirou to sniff out a secret training weapon.

So like, that covers a lot of the claims Ufotable wrote in. Maybe to cover that gout claim, it’s also carbonated or radioactive. Who knows.

There’s one more thing this product includes: artificial color! For the onsen nerd, there’s a lot more to categorizing onsen than just their mineral content. There’s also how slick or grainy the water feels, how clear or cloudy it is, and what color it appears! Although many are known for being crystal clear, there’s a range of tints, including dramatic ones like reddish-orange, aquamarine, and black. In this case, they merely recreated the effect for fun. With a base of red, yellow, and blue, the powder starts a nice rosy pink when it’s dry in the package, and then---HOLY YORIICHI WHAT IS THAT

That is soooooo not an appealing color, ohhhh my gooooshhhh

Although it all mostly mixes into a yellowish-brownish cloud, there are random bits of magenta or teal or even purple-ish-ness. The tiny specs that wound up on the edges of my bathtub made it look like they chose some strange way to page homage to Mitsuri, Muichiro, and Genya all at once.

Anyway, the color eventually settled to more of a muddy yellow and I got in. The sulfur scent was only enough to be pleasant, the texture was somewhat on the silky side but not dramatically so, and I was healed of all my wounds and ailments. Purportedly.

[sapphiresaphics]

Severance: my best guess.

This will contain spoilers from season 1 to season 2 Episode 7.

I’ve not tried to do any theory crafting for Severance yet, so I’m gonna try now based on all the available information we have.

So the Eagan family is a bit of a cult. It started in the late 1800’s with a guy who worked in an Ether factory. Ether is used by doctors as an anesthetic and is primarily used in surgeries. Ether can also cause hallucinations and distorted thinking.

Which brings me to Kier Eagan and his 4 tempers and his 9 principals. Kier supposedly conquered the 4 tempers (Woe, Frolic, Dread, and Malice). These would be emotions that he feels were detrimental to life. And he created the 9 principals (Vision, Verve, Wit, Cheer, Humility, Benevolence, Nimbleness, Probity, Wiles) as emotional virtues that he cherished.

It would not surprise me that this old man working in an ether factory frequently had hallucinations and visions and wrote down his stories as a distorted Bible of sorts. “These are the things that hold you back, these are the things that make you strong” sort of thing. And because this was a business and he was the CEO (a crazy CEO but a CEO nevertheless) these principals and tenants were passed down through the generations.

And for our immediate purposes it seems to have worked. The Lumon company grew from a small Ether factory that made topical salves, to a giant tech company that has their hands in many pies all over the world. Kinda like how Google went from an internet search browser to basically owning everything we interact with today.

And over the years that cult like devotion to Keir Eagan and his mantras has resulted in the corporation of Lumon wanting to impose Keri’s wisdom and will on the rest of humanity, as most religions often want to do.

Fast forward and they’ve developed a technology that can separate your consciousness into two beings. Memories for each consciousness only exist for that consciousness and cannot transfer over to the other. The severance procedure.

This procedure allows people to go to work, but never actually deal with work because their innie is the one doing all the unpleasant tasks for them. Great on the surface, but there’s a twist. That other consciousness of yours that is created… well it’s another person. With its own wants and dreams and desires. And as this procedure is being tested Lumon discovers that these innies are increasingly resistant to having their entire lives be reduced to working forever until they die.

So Lumon has a problem. I believe they think the reason these innies are so unhappy is because they have the 4 tempers in them. It’s not because they’re people with wants and dreams, it’s because they also have Woe, Frolic, Dread, and Malice in them. That’s why the innies keep fighting back.

Stepping back for a minute we are also aware that Lumon raises kids through various programs. Harmony Cobel was raised through some sort of “girls for Lumon” program. As most likely was Milchek and Miss Wong. And these programs seem to focus heavily on removing emotion from your essence. Cobel was praying to keep her emotions under control, Milchek was practicing in a mirror to adhere to Lumon’s desires for him. And Wong can’t graduate from her fellowship until she is deemed worthy.

I think what the Macro Data Refiners are doing is finding these components and providing data for the severance chips to suppress these emotions. To ensure that they aren’t being preferable to any of the data, it’s all sent to them encoded and jumbled up. But some numbers “feel” a certain way. And the MDR members are able to basically sense these emotions and bin them. “You feel the hurt down there too, you just don’t know what it is.”

Remember this is a corporation and they are pushing a product they want everyone in the world to get. So if the goal of this product is to push the idea that you can get this medial procedure and then ever again have to experience anything negative ever, they need to ensure that when outies return to consciousness that no negative side effects linger.

And Gemma is their test subject for this procedure. They are using her by placing her into various different stressful environments and situations, adjusting the chips, and seeing when she comes out of them if she feels or recalls anything negative.

I don’t know if the point of the chips will be to control the innies as well, removing all will to resist or something along those lines. They’ve shown surprisingly little care into the lives of the innies. But they do seem to at least be aware that controlling the innies is a problem. That’s why they lean so heavily on the cult stuff. That’s why they isolate departments and keep everyone fearful of one another.

I think that’s also why Bert is different. He seems to RELISH in the vices. A “scoundrel” as he calls himself. He seems to believe that innies deserve to experience pleasure. He is the snake to Lumon’s garden of Eden if you will. Since he’s a partner with Lumon, it’s possible that he views the innies as a source of allowing people to express those carnal desires and thoughts free from the guilt of having them as an outie.

And we’ve seen at least with the waffle party that Lumon has this belief in mastering and overcoming those same vices and pleasures. Why else would the waffle party have the 4 tempers dancing erotically while the “founder” sits in the bed and does nothing, whip in hand ready to strike if they rustle their emotions?

So this is Lumon’s pitch to the world. Imagine you never have to worry about doing anything negative you don’t want ever again. Get this wonderful medical procedure and you’ll be able to, at the push of a button, skip over your entire work day and just come home refreshed and happy to continue to live your life. If you want to have a baby and don’t want to deal with the pain of childbirth, just use the severance chip to skip over that! Don’t want to do a boring repetitive task like writing Christmas thank you notes? Don’t want to fly on an airplane? Don’t want to go to the dentist? Just use our chip and skip over that moment and get on with your life.

And of course this has extreemly dangerous implications for the rest of the world. What if you want to go to war but don’t want to deal with the fear of dying? What if you want an army of people who can perform manual labor all day without rest? What if you want to have sex but don’t want the shame or fear you might have a kid? Any Vice or fear or labor you need… Severance will be there to take care of it.

And for Lumon’s part… well that’s potentially even more sinister. We don’t know what their goal is, but good god can you imagine if Google had access to your brain and at a moment’s notice they could just switch you off??? We’ve seen that the Overtime Contingency works outside of the Lumon building. Giving a CULT access to EVERYONE in the world that they can manipulate at any time would be… horrific.

“They will all be Kier’s children”

So I think that’s the plan. Perfect this technology so they can market it as a way to bypass your negative feelings, but it’s a Trojan horse. You’re actually surrendering your will and personhood to this cult. A cult who can use you to do anything they want. Make anything they need. Do any task they want. And you’d never know it, because you’re no longer the outie.

Fucking TERRIFYING.

[ersetu-gazette]

Brainstorming the Mother of Learning TTRPG

So every once in awhile there are forum posts or questions asked about what tabletop roleplaying system would be best for playing in the Ersetu universe. Usually I say that something like Pathfinder or D&D 3.5e would be best because they are the most popular rpgs that MoL at the very least alludes to, with a crunchy gameplay style that the narrative references. There's obvious deep complexity and lots of magic spells. At one point Zorian wonders out loud why some first circle spells aren't 0 circle spells because they don't seem to be more complex and the other character says "marketing" (read: a joke about spell balance). And any missing components could easily fixed with homebrew and hacks (my opinion at the time).

But as I explore more indie ttrpgs and otherwise step further outside of D&D hegemony I realize that it might be that there is a more appropriate ttrpg out there for Mother of Learning. So let's go over the wishlist of what I think might be needed for the system to emulate the world of Ersetu correctly:

Core Mechanics:

Spell points instead of spell slots, no vancian magic.

Partial spell point regeneration in about an hour, mages have options other than needing a full 8 hours to recharge.

Class and character options are mostly magic user focused. No fighters with normal swords. The only martial users of note is a sword user using an obviously magical sword (and also did magic themselves iirc?), and the gun users that individually can't do much: they're only a threat in numbers.

Crunchy and extremely deep range of spells.

Magic item crafting that allows for simple things like spellcasting aides up to complex stuff like automatons.

Counterspelling and dispelling is a core thing most mages are expected to do.

The more the better wishlist:

(These mechanics aren't all necessary but at least some are needed)

Bloodlines and unique abilities reducing spell point cap (how it's done, whether that's through the "vanilla" classes just being assigned more or that taking bloodline feats outright reduces, doesn't exactly matter. As long as it's balanced somehow)

Magic defenses being divided into body, mind, and soul.

The expectation for players is that they're all humans. Shifters and Morlocks seem to be types of humans, cultures and races (shifter might be a class), as opposed to a fully different species like an elf.

Capped base ability scores and spell point growth. No Hercules with a magic pool that continues to grow after hitting the cap. Instead progression past early levels is using what you have more efficiently.

Epic/Mythic optional system to represent the divine abilities/items. (ex. Zach's special mana reserves, the divine crown, high level angels with access to divinity, etc.)

And a skills system that can be invested in.

So, is there a "perfect" ttrpg system we can use for Ersetu? Or are there systems that work better than others that we might need to homebrew?

[taag-the-withering]

If you've seen my couple analysis posts from the past couple weeks you might have noticed that I have recently revisited this fandom after several years of not interacting. Back in 2021 before I eventually fell off the train I had crafted a rough idea for an AU about a completely unconventional and rarely mentioned character to be the wielder of the amulet. All the while reconstructing the TOA timeline as a partial fix it.

Well, since I've jumped back onto the train car in the past month or so, I decided to revisit that AU and refresh it... a lot. To the point that I have the first half of season 1 of Trollhunters entirely planned and the main ideas for the rest of Trollhunters and 3Below outlined in my head.

Anyway, if anyone actually bothered to read this far, then they would be wondering who I decided to be the lucky Trollhunter, so I'll just get to it.

Mary Wang. Mary Wang is the Trollhunter.

My intention with this AU is to deal with multiple things at once that I personally desire to address:

Firstly, focusing on the actual underutilized and underrated characters. Mary Wang, Darci Scott, and Shannon Longhannon are all characters that sit as unused beyond a couple small things with minimal plot significance, I would like to change that. Consider it a role reversal of sorts, with Mary, Darci, and Shannon replacing Jim, Toby, and Claire. Though I do not intend on downright ignoring our original Trollhunter trio either.

Shining spotlights on characters who I believe deserve more attention. This is technically code for me fleshing out the TOA villains more, properly building up to both redemptions and deaths. Not just the villains of course, several other characters whom have been reduced down to a few components by the overarching fanon I would like to fully address and break down into their complexities as well.

Giving 3Below more attention. The one thing I've noticed that is lacking when some AUs are crafted is downplaying the affect of 3Below. I consider this downplaying an attribute of TOA's sudden switch up from the fantasy of Trollhunters to the sci-fi of 3Below. I intend on making the transition more seamless and give both the Trollhunters and 3Below plots time to shine.

Worldbuilding galore. If there is one thing I love, it's worldbuilding. A lot of my desires for this AU stem from my desires to flesh out the world of TOA. I'm fixing the timeline, incorporating the books, using underused artifacts, and playing around with the magic system of TOA.

Fixing Wizards and ROTT. I don't care what people say, Wizards is not as well written as you like to think, and it was in fact the testing grounds for ROTT. I intend on keeping the timeline stable and properly fleshing out the Arcane Order and the subsequent final battle. Without unneeded time travel that ignores the character development of everyone (that goes for both Wizards and ROTT).

If you have paid attention to the TOA tag you may have noticed that @azure-za-raid made some lovely art of my redesigns a couple weeks back for my AU which I really appreciate!

This AU is technically still in the planning phase, and will be for the next while. Though I have begun to plan how exactly I will write and publish this eventually. My idea is to break it down into parts based on the current antagonist, and completely write that arc before publishing on ao3. Kind of like how Trollhunters S1 is broken down between Bular and Angor.

If there are any questions, feel free to send me an ask about it, I'm always happy to talk about things!

[mariacallous]

This story originally appeared on Inside Climate News and is part of the Climate Desk collaboration.

The Trump administration’s ever-changing policies on tariffs and trade have injected chaos into the global energy economy.

On Wednesday, a federal court blocked President Donald Trump from being able to adopt tariffs under an emergency-powers law. The administration is appealing the ruling. This sets up additional legal wrangling in addition to the conflicts over trade that were already happening.

Analysts at the research firm Wood Mackenzie gave themselves the task of predicting where US tariff policy may be heading. The result is a report issued this week, “Trading Cases: Tariff Scenarios for Taxing Times,” that shows the huge gap in outcomes between a trade war and a trade truce.

My main takeaway from it is that everyone loses in a prolonged conflict. Even the oil and gas industry, which has close ties to the Trump administration, would face falling prices for its products at the same time that the costs of much of its equipment are rising because of tariffs.

The US renewable energy and battery industries stand out for the potential severity of their downturns because development here relies heavily on components made in other countries. The Biden administration sought to encourage manufacturers to build in the United States, but those efforts are still in their early stages, and many of the government incentives are now on the chopping block.

Under a “trade truce” scenario, in which tariffs return to 2024 levels, the global economy would grow by an average of 2.7 percent between now and 2030, the report says. The “trade tensions” scenario would mean that tariff barriers increase compared to last year, but the economy would still grow, albeit at a lower rate. The most damaging is the “trade war” scenario, with the United States maintaining an effective tariff rate of 30 percent or more, leading to a global recession.

The report says the middle forecast, “trade tensions,” is the most likely to occur.

Why is this conflict happening? The short version is that Trump and his advisers believe that tariffs will help the US economy by encouraging construction of factories here, reducing trade deficits and punishing barriers to entry of US products in other countries.

“We will supercharge our domestic industrial base,” Trump said in an April 2 speech announcing tariffs on nearly every US trading partner. “We will pry open foreign markets and break down foreign trade barriers and ultimately, more production at home will mean stronger competition and lower prices for consumers.”

A tariff is a tax charged by a government on imports. As the US government has increased its tariffs, other countries have retaliated with their own increases.

Adding to the chaos is that the policies frequently change, with the president often announcing shifts on social media, as happened in recent days on tariffs on the European Union.

I spoke with Chris Seiple, Wood Mackenzie’s vice chairman for power and renewables, to drill down on the parts of the report that deal with renewables. Here is that conversation, edited for length and clarity:

Dan Gearino: For renewable energy industries, is the big problem that tariffs make everything more expensive, or is there more to it than that?

Chris Seiple: Sure, things getting more expensive is a big part of it. I think the second challenge, and this is kind of unique to the power business, is that there’s a heavy hand of regulation. And so there’s a lot of US utilities that have to go through pretty extensive regulatory processes to get approval for what they want to build. Being in a world where there’s so much tariff uncertainty, they don’t know what it’s going to cost to build what they want to build. It’s particularly challenging for this industry to be able to navigate that, and it impacts renewables more than it impacts, say, other sectors like gas or coal, because we rely upon imports of equipment to such a bigger degree, especially for battery storage, where we’re essentially entirely dependent at this point on imports from China.

With battery storage, there has been an attempt to increase manufacturing capacity in the US. How would you characterize where that stands?

Very early days. A lot of battery manufacturing that’s going on within the US is meant to supply batteries to EV vehicles, not stationary utility-scale storage projects. And so the amount of manufacturing capacity in comparison to what the demand is for that equipment results in us importing well more than 90 percent of what we need.

Chris Seiple is Wood Mackenzie’s vice chairman for power and renewables. Photograph: Wood Mackenzie

I also think the tariff on it is just as important as the uncertainty about not knowing where the end game is and what the tariffs are going to be. So, if you’re on the manufacturing side of the renewables business, you’re making investment decisions that have very long lives when you’re building a manufacturing facility. Having that uncertainty around the investment climate and what the level of tariffs is going to be over the long-term just makes it more challenging to make all of those decisions.

During the early part of this year, as this tariff war was starting, I had, like, biweekly calls from this manufacturer in Korea, just exasperated, saying, “Doesn’t the US government know that we’re making long lead time decisions, and we need to have some sort of clarity around what the policy environment is going to be, not just for the next four years, but for the next 10 years?” The US is making it very challenging right now to make these types of investment decisions.

Is there any US energy industry that benefits from trade tensions?

I don’t think anybody benefits, per se, from the trade tensions. Everybody, no matter what part of the energy sector you’re in, is having to navigate the uncertainty around what the tariff levels are going to be. That said, the overall policy environment has changed to one that is more favorable for natural gas. The fact that we are an exporter of natural gas and have all of the domestic resources that we need makes it less impacted by tariffs than what other sectors are, like renewables. But even for E&P [exploration and production of oil and gas], they utilize steel in that process. There are tariffs on steel. Steel prices have gone up. It has a negative impact on all energy sectors.

One part of this report that jumped out to me is you said that the US may be stuck with older technologies, especially when it comes to solar, while the rest of the world advances at a quicker pace. What’s the long-term effect of that?

Before I answer that question directly, let me just give you some context.

We estimate that the cost of building a utility-scale solar project is about $1.15 a watt in the US. The comparable number in China is about 42 cents a watt. It’s not surprising that the cost of building a solar facility in China is a lot less than the cost of building a solar facility in the US.

What is very surprising when we put this data together is how much less expensive it is to build a solar project in Europe than it is in the US. It’s about 70 cents a watt to build a solar facility in Europe compared to the US. So the US is almost 50 percent more expensive to build a solar facility than the cost of building it in Europe. And the biggest reason that it’s more expensive here is because of all the tariffs that we have on solar. It’s not the only reason, but it’s the biggest reason. So we’ve already kind of penalized solar with the tariffs that we have in place.

And then, on the technology evolution issue, it’s the Chinese manufacturers that have the most sophisticated capability in solar manufacturing, and who are putting a lot more R&D into it than any US company is doing. And so, we essentially have policies in place that prohibit and make it uneconomic for US companies to be able to purchase Chinese technology, then that is what leaves us in a position where we’re not using the most advanced technology that’s available to the rest of the world. The long-term implication of that is it deprives the US of a low-cost source of energy that’s available everywhere else, and creates kind of an unlevel playing field in our efforts to have to power our industries with the lowest-cost energy solutions that are available.

These tariff policies seem to change almost daily. Is there an expectation that eventually things will settle down?

I think that’s the central challenge for the industry, that they don’t know where the ultimate outcome is going to fall. Nobody can really fully answer that question, and what makes it particularly challenging is that there’ve been so many different rationales given as to why we’re pursuing one tariff or another that it makes it hard to divine what the ultimate endgame is going to be. Is it about reducing a trade balance? Is it about supporting domestic manufacturing? Are there other policy goals that are trying to be achieved as a result of the tariffs? Not knowing that is what makes it very difficult for people to operate day to day.

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

Hey Lou where did you go when you went missing in your younger years if you don’t mind me asking? also how did you come up with the tolitnater

" That's a cool question here!

It was 2005, and I was working as a spy for Evil Industries, and my fake name was already Lou Pottingsworth III. In case anyone wondered, yes, I chose the potty theme for the whole name because I thought it would be funny if someone with a name like that climbed the whole organization and became Father's second. I also wanted to go the extra mile and be "Lou Pottingsworth II" but Vicky thought it was too overkill. So I went with "Third" to give the impression I was REALLY important or something.

The whole "Asparagross" thing was REALLY my idea, and also it was my idea to cut costs as much as possible so the whole thing would fail. Use wrong materials, cheap structures, reducing the components count, everything was being set for the whole thing to collapse, but make it look like it was ALL someone else's fault! That way, Father would've seen me as a good employee and I could move up faster in ranks!

And then, OUT OF NOWHERE... the KND made a blitz operation THAT I WASN'T INFORMED OF and crashed everything.

I was pissed.

It took me YEARS to arrive at that point and in a second PUFF! GONE! I was MAD at the kids but also MAD at Vicky because she didn't inform me of anything!

Apparently, that was a last-minute decision no one knew about and no one was informed about but STILL!

Now, the story of me being trapped in a portapotty is HALF true: I got into one of these things but managed to get out with my powers after falling into that river. I went back to the Adult Division HQ and wanted to quit (the mission). I was MAD at those kids, I thought it would be impossible to do that ALL OVER AGAIN. Father would be mad at me for not doing anything, I couldn't show my fu*king face around again.

Unless... I became someone or something else.

I studied the idea the whole night and the next day I came in with the idea of a toilet-based supervillain! Why? Because kids will laugh at fart and sh*t jokes every two seconds. Also because I wanted to be as obnoxious for adults as possible!

After all, when I was climbing my way up the company, the more I became important, the more eyes I had on me. I was constantly under control and even just getting files was a challenge without being discovered. If I became someone so annoying, stupid, and weak that no one would want around, everything would be easier! I could go around and do stuff with the smallest chances of people thinking it was ME! It made sense to me!

Vicky didn't like the idea at first, but as we worked on it, she slowly started to think it might be possible.

We asked some guy to create the lamest costume based on a toilet, we included some 2x4 (and I got to use a special partial-decommission device later!) and I added the toilet seat for extra lameness!

And there we go! The Toilet Man... no, that didn't sound good...

THE TOILETNATOR WAS BORN!

I then asked if the missing Pottingsworth manager could be the real identity because the name was just too good not to be used again! It might made it more difficult for people to believe in the stupidity at first, but I also had a good "origin story" for him with toilet gods, etc, so it was fine!

That thing worked for years like a charm. People believed my act, from KND to Adults. Sometimes it would get hard, to always be the punchbag of everyone. But thinking about the bigger picture made it worth it.

Sometimes I miss him... But it quickly goes away.

...

Oh, you asked about something else, right? Too bad! "

[traeuthaeou]

EYECATS ELECTRONICS

Tyco Electronics (now TE Connectivity) is a global technological leader that has the mission of developing and providing innovative connectivity and sensor solutions. Their core values include integrity, accountability, teamwork, and innovation, according to DigiKey. TE Connectivity strives to be a world leader in electronic component connectivity through innovation and strategic partnerships. A mission is to provide gamers with the equipment they need to succeed by creating comfortable, customizable, and durable gaming devices. Their focus is on enhancing the natural talents of gamers through cutting-edge technology, design, and innovation, ultimately aiming to help gamers achieve victory. 

Our Mission to Innovate and Create Quality Produce and New Technologies to assist in the supporting and residing with perfect accommodation and response to our legal legitimate need and upon the Thrones and Thrones it be as Quantity be our Promise seal and Loyalty to The Corporate Entity and whom Be and Our reason for existence. Government and Global Operations.

The World Bank's core mission is to end extreme poverty and boost shared prosperity on a livable planet. This is achieved through a variety of financial and technical assistance provided to developing countries. Specifically, they aim to reduce the percentage of people generating income less then average by 50 to 100% and promote the income growth of the newly founded United Planetary Nation of the United Planetary Nations State of Providence of Planetary Unity of Thearu in every country. 

A Institution Company Corporation in all our affairs as A Hawkins Hopkins supporting Corporation A Company A Corporation an Institution Global United Servicing Planetary Entity of the Americas Ameriael Founded Based in Supporting Better Business and A Bettering United Planetary Alliance as we are an honest corporation with interest in global success and international trade and exchange and Foundation base of operations of corporations and institution or moral vale ethics and business affirmative affirmation as our mission and mission and or emissions statements As for some over all a combination of my written mission statement and corporation resources in One A + financial juggernaut pilot astronaut pioneer professional occupational exploration protection and security war and raw business moment maybe inspiration our vision to be on top listed planetary Exilaxy business as we practice and perfection daily production and moral ethics in character occupation. Founder Terry.

Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins

Terry Lee Hawkins Jr

.traeuthaeou

ALLAHTREU TREUALLAH TRUE SCRAMBLED LANGUAGEOLOGISTBlaze

Post by @traeuthaeou · 3 images

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Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins

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traeuthaeou

ALLAHTREU TREUALLAH TRUE SCRAMBLED LANGUAGEOLOGIST

Founder Terry.

Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins

Terry Lee Hawkins Jr

Blaze

Johns Hopkins Homewood Neighborhood in Baltimore, Maryland The prestigious and sprawling Johns Hopkins University campus in Homewood is home to tree-lined paths, traditional redbrick architecture, and a landmark clock tower. The campus features the Shriver Hall Concert Series and the Baltimore Museum of Art, as well as popular Wyman Park, Wyman Park Dell, and Stony Run Trail. The surrounding area has many taverns and casual eateries popular with students.

Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling blessed with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 3 mins · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling blessed with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 11 mins · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling professional with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 1 min · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins 4 mins · RAVENDOVE Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins was RavenDove - yin yin / yang RavenDove - yin yin / yang - COLD NUMB AND (LOVIEY DOVIEY) CALCULATED SPELL IT D or L Dove or Love maybe L or D Lover or Dover pythagorean numerology ABC123 Kauffman-Hawkins-Hawk or Hopk -H__kins aw or op and Hopkins signed Booper or just Boop not Book BUT LOKI OR BOOPER SAN with Blaze Pascal. with Terry Lee Hawkins ( male ) @ikigami shinigam HAWKINS HOKINSU/HOKINZU https://www.facebook.com/notes/terry-lee-kauffman-hawkins/bac-formula-racing-f3-series-bac-mission-statement/2296158727310875/ — feeling professional with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. YES=Y=YES / NO=N=NO

Blaze

India, officially the Republic of India, is a country in South Asia. It is the seventh-largest country by area; the most populous country from June 2023 onwards; and since its independence in 1947, the world's most populous democracy. Wikipedia

Blaze

Johns Hopkins Homewood

Neighborhood in Baltimore, Maryland

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traeuthaeou

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YORK OR WORK HOSPITAL Y LETTER 15 W LETTER 23

The University of Maryland, Baltimore is a public university in Baltimore, Maryland, United States. Founded in 1807, it is the second oldest college in Maryland and comprises some of the oldest professional schools of dentistry, law, medicine, pharmacy, social work and nursing in the United States. Wikipedia

Avg cost after aid

––

Graduation rate

95%

Acceptance rate

––Graduation rate is for non-first-time, full-time undergraduate students who graduated within 6 years. They were the largest group of students (75%) according to the 2022–23 College Scorecard data ·more 

From US Dept of Education · Learn more

Address: 

620 W Lexington St, Baltimore, MD 21201

Address: 620 W Lexington St, Baltimore, MD 21201

Phone: (410) 706-3100

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ALLAH STEP ONE .. GOD TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE NOT A TWELVE STEP LETTER A TO L PROGRAM AT JOHNS HOPKINS AND GOD OR DOG . CHIP HOUSE HUOJINSEN YOU AN ADULT I AM REPORTING TO YOU. H O U S E - H U O J I N S E N . HAWKINGSON TERRY LEE - SOBRIQUET BOOPER BOOPPER THEOS LOKI TEREMY

Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins

is with

Terry Lee Hawkins Jr.

May 9 at 4:48 PM

Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling blessed with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 3 mins · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling blessed with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 11 mins · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins is feeling professional with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. 1 min · Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins 4 mins · RAVENDOVE Terry Lee Kauffman Hawkins was RavenDove - yin yin / yang RavenDove - yin yin / yang - COLD NUMB AND (LOVIEY DOVIEY) CALCULATED SPELL IT D or L Dove or Love maybe L or D Lover or Dover pythagorean numerology ABC123 Kauffman-Hawkins-Hawk or Hopk -H__kins aw or op and Hopkins signed Booper or just Boop not Book BUT LOKI OR BOOPER SAN with Blaze Pascal. with Terry Lee Hawkins ( male ) @ikigami shinigam HAWKINS HOKINSU/HOKINZU https://www.facebook.com/notes/terry-lee-kauffman-hawkins/bac-formula-racing-f3-series-bac-mission-statement/2296158727310875/ — feeling professional with Terry Lee Hawkins Jr. YES=Y=YES / NO=N=NO

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Enoch Pratt Free Library

4.6301 Google reviews

Public library in Baltimore, Maryland

Description

The Enoch Pratt Free Library is the free public library system of Baltimore, Maryland. Its Central Library is located on 400 Cathedral Street and occupies the northeastern three quarters of a city block ... Wikipedia

Departments: Maryland State Library for the Blind and Print Disabled

Address: 400 Cathedral St, Baltimore, MD 21201

Architect: Edward Lippincott Tilton

Hours: 

Open ⋅ Closes 8 PM · More hours

Opened: 1882

Phone: (410) 396-5430

Branches: 22

Director: Chad Helton, President and CEO

Johns Hopkins Homewood

Neighborhood in Baltimore, Maryland

Blaze

#banking security#cnn business news#cnn tonight#ABC BUSINESS NEWS

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[tagamantra]

dagger-and-blowgun-fused-into-spear pamaagi

or: the transfer from dice pool to the violence dice in GUBAT BANWA

i've written about this in a longer devlog, but i wanted to take a secondary abridged (and personal) dive into the change. also i'll probably start releasing devlogs and essays back on my patreon soon because damn if that place isn't barren

gubat banwa is a game of larger than life martial heroes fighting for their convictions in a setting rooted on southeast asian folklores and cultures. before december, and even during its kickstarter, i was pretty set on the game being a dice pool system. i felt it accurately conveyed the feeling of that sekiro-esque back and forth: one attacks, the other defends. every dice is an attack launched, a sword swing, a gun breath to aim or part of a gun's loading sequence, an arrow trained on an enemy. every defense dice is an attempt at a parry. it was a cool concept! and there's definitely ways to make it sing and shine

unfortunately as with all game design choices, not every cool idea fits snugly into the greater whole--if i wanted my game to sing and shine, each component must work in tandem with the other components. it's a choir, or a puzzle--one mechanic slightly off is fine, one that's completely off kinda wrecks the entire thing

i found that the dice pool back and forth interaction more or less worked better for a more non-grid based combat game. one that works perhaps with zones and rules. one where the fiction zooms in to a specific exchange between the attacker and the defender. while this is also a game design objective of gubat banwa, it had to be in tandem with the fact that it is a tactical grid game as well. it had to put in mind that the mechanics were also focused on forced movement, collisions, reactive moments from other players, etc.

in a non-grid based combat game, where the focus is on that flurrious exchange only, then it might have worked. but that is unfortunately not the only important thing in gubat banwa's design goals.

additionally, sussing out and feeling out one's own tactical consequences were hugely obfuscated by the dice pool. the probabilities weren't as clear, the attack forecast was esoteric, and was even hard to properly model in an automated system. this detracted from the simple and tactical design of the game.

so the Violence Die was established. Each technique had a die or a number of dice that was rolled--this determined whether the attack hit and how much damage was. it was the attack roll and damage roll in one.

Essentially, making an attack goes like this: Roll Violence Dice (can add any bonuses to the Violence Die here) -> if higher than target's EVADE, keep going. Otherwise, the attack is avoided -> Add the defined attack Prowess (FEROCITY for physical attacks, SPIRIT magick attacks) and any other damage modifiers, including any additional damage dice -> the target then reduces that damage by their Defense (PARRY or RESILIENCE, as defined by the Technique) -> Apply the final damage to the target. This keeps going until the target gains Damage equal to or greater than their POSTURE, in which caste they are defeated as they are struck with a decisive blow.

The process of adding damage replaces the process of counting Hits. The process of reducing damage replaces the process of counting Parries and cancelling Hits. They reside in similar design mindspaces, and so with a simpler rolling mechanic I was more or less able to transfer the math to a more linear math while keeping the "exchange" feel of an attack. All because of the forced processes one must go down when rolling an attack that strikes home and is not avoided.

In the fiction, rolling Violence Dice is the attack attempt. The swinging of halberds, the lightning arrows loosed from the bow, the sword swings as the swordsman advances. If it is avoided, the target manages to back away, use the environment to avoid the attack, flip away, vault over, or otherwise completely avoid the attack.

If it hits home however, the target is forced to reckon: the damage applied and the bonus damage is the number of attack launched in the assault, or perhaps the precision of an attack, or perhaps the number of mantras and mudras uttered to cast a spell. They must attempt to PARRY it away, or they must test their RESILIENCE as the attack washes over them. Fireballs they block, with their armor or their shields or their bare forearms. Sword strikes they quickly move to meet with their own strikes, parrying and ducking and flipping over them.

Then, their Posture is shaken of course as they receive Damage. As they gain more Damage, the more they know that they are going to be open to a Decisive Blow, and so they must be tactical.

In physical play, rolling a single die has made things much snappier (and even in online play). The excitement of the roll is still there: there's a chance you might EVADE the attack completely, after all! the change has become beneficial for everyone--for those that like to describe their attacks, for those that just interface directly with the mechanics, and much more. this piece of tech arose after a particularly grueling game of D&D Onslaught.

before this, i even played with an attack - counterattack system, kind of like pbta "if you roll mid you also suffer harm", but it felt pretty counterintuitive for a tactics game where you're already using up a lot of resources to do things, and also one where the initiative is alternating (which already does the whole, you act the world reacts feel pretty well). attacking becomes a dangerous proposition for any fighter, which does not feel well when you're martial heroes.

the dice pool was a good idea but it was detrimental to the larger process of the tactics game. i had to balance that to really achieve the "martial arts tactics fantasy" that gubat banwa really wanted to achieve with its fighting mechanics.

i called this blowgun and dagger to spear because in seasian martial ways their blowguns were long enough to be shafts and their daggers were often placed on top of staffs to make spears. i combined the fictional sensibilities of the dice pool system with the easier and more transparent math of the Violence Die system to create a veritable spear of a mechanic

[pastel-rights]

can you take us through the process of how you design a character?

ooo? This is a question/remark people say a lot, I've noticed. Wondering how I go about designing a character or how watching me draw is an interesting learning experience overall.

I mean, I've explained it here and there, given tips here and there when my friends ask me, but I don't think I've ever made an actual. post about it. Just given tips inside of Discord servers here and there.

So, yeah, I can give you guys a basic breakdown of how I design characters, as well as stylization of characters from other medias. It's gonna be a big post but I hope you guys. find an answer you're satisfied with? Question mark.

sorry in advance, btw. this is going to be LONG since I wanted to cover all my bases with this one ask🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️since, like I mentioned, a question/a compliment I get a lot and y'know, I know friends like Klai and Pins would find this interesting since they like to call me TEACHER when I yap about art stuff 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

so erm. sorry. long post. I've been doing. a lot of those lately huh.

// ORIGINAL CHARACTER DESIGN - Designing from scratch!!

Designing a character from scratch is probably what anonie meant when they asked this question, and so, that's where I'll start! This is also the question most people have when they ask me how I design a character so 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Character design from scratch is my main part as an artist! This is why, when I approach designing a character from scratch, there are three core components that I consider! (or when I'm redesigning a character.)

Posing, color palette, and that reoccurring "pop!" factor! What the fuck does that mean. I'll tell you!

For characters, three main things are important to me when designing from scratch; everything else is honestly debatable if I can get those three things down to satisfaction.

A good pose strikes confidence for you as an artist! And, for all intents and purposes, it can strike confidence for your original character as well! (if they're the confident type.) They're here, they're hot, and they know it! Having a good pose can make the difference between a good character design that you're happy with and a character design you're not overly wild over. Confident characters stand with a strut to them, a certain flair of elegance, their chest puffed out; it's a sign that they're going to take the day and make it their own! Shy characters are more withdrawn; they sink into themselves and they simply wish the day passes them by. Your pose will say a lot more about your oc than you might assume.

The color palette will say a lot about your character! Seriously, a color palette is either going to make or break a character design. Of course, it also matters where you place these colors, which one is your main color(s), and things like that. But the colors you HAVE in your color palette really matter! Usually, before I go into a character design, I already have a designated color palette that I intend on working with, and that can reduce otherwise unneeded stress!

Of course, you can always change the color palette if something in the color palette ends up not working, but starting off with one? Makes things so much easier, I promise. It works even better if you have an intended aesthetic in mind. Like gothic.

Sometimes, the color palette I work with is as limited as just two colors, like this one. Minus the skin tone and heterochromia in the eyes, this character design only uses two colors. Magenta and Black.

Finally, there's that last one. The reoccurring "pop!" factor. In Rosemary's case, it's that reoccurring rose motif that's on his gloves, earrings, wrist, glasses, and more. But, generally, the "pop!" factor can be anything... just so long as it makes your character "pop!" in a sense. It could be roses, it could be a marking that appears multiple times on their body, it could be anything... just so long as it pops out in a sense.

That's the joy of designing a character from scratch. You're in complete control of everything; you're the master of the castle perse.

Again, the three things I focus on in a character design from scratch are the character's pose, the character's intended color palette, and any "pop!" factors the character might have. Looking at Finality, I can point out each right now, and even tell you the thought behind the design! Now, will I do that NOW? girl there's still more POST left.

But, for Finality? His pose is bored but one of lying in wait. (I mean, look at the background. He's on the moon! Not much you can do BESIDES wait, I feel like.) His color scheme, like him, is very cool-centered, being comprised of blues, white and black, and very minimal soft yellows. As for his "pop!" factors, I bet you noticed the wings, segmented tail, and the horns by now. That is what I mean by "pop!" factor. It pops out from the rest of the design; it's usually something you notice in a character before everything else.

So... yeah! Posing, color palette, and that reoccurring "pop!" factor! Those are the three things I usually focus on when I'm designing a character from scratch. Of course, it's not the end-all-be-all for a character design checklist, but usually, if I have those three things when I'm going into it, I can come back out with a character design I find mildly nice!

Of course, its different when you're designing a character FOR someone FROM scratch. Sometimes, its all about "would they think they're hot?" and if the answer is yes?

You're getting somewhere!!! (/j but also, true story.)

---

// ORIGINAL CHARACTER DESIGN - Designing from a character picrew/character designing tool!! (especially when the character is someone else's character!)

Designing from a character picrew or character designing tool (such as a dress-up game) is a different battle altogether... because the character design was done for you already, now all that's left is to draw it for yourself!

And, again, a question I've gotten a lot is how do I transfer from additional medium (in this case, the picrew) to my own style. So, I'll tell you how!

Exhibit One. YOU. I think this is the most... well-known? Picrew character I've ever translated into my style.

For Bet, what was most important for their translation in my style was. Probably their hair? Since, the way their clothes and everything else fall in line with the way their hair is flowing. And that's how every Bet drawing I've ever done ends up flowing; it flows with the way their hair flows.

Exhibit Two.... hi Cleo! Gay ass murder queen 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️sorry gamers, I could NOT see her ass dating a man. (/ref)

For Cleo, the focal point of her translation into my design came with her coat. Similar to Bet and their hair, everything flows with Cleo's coat. As well as this, Cleo's role as a DBD killer was important to me, so I also added some blood to her coat (with the mun's permission/approval)

When translating picrew to your style... I think that the most important thing to focus on is the thing that flows best in your style, since usually everything will follow the piece of their design that flows the best!

In addition to this, picrews and character designing tools can be limited in what they're able to actually achieve! So, it's important to add in those smaller details you otherwise wouldn't be able to, such as the collar added to Cleo's choker, the blood on Cleo's coat, or the specific way Bet's suit is tailored to fit their person.

If you're looking to translate a picrew or something similar into your own style and don't know where to start... well, that's where I start. Having a focal point to start with and making sure everything flows in a similar way so its not feeling clunky is. honestly SUPER key for me.

Having a picrew can be so nice when you have a character you want to give an appearance but you're having trouble drawing them, or just, not having the time or energy TO draw them, but it can always be a little tricky translation-wise.

Sometimes, the art stylization is too different from your own, and sometimes the color drop looks off, so you have to eyeball your own close match (like I had to do with Bet's hair color when I drew them for the very first time), and sometimes, it's just... not turning out how you want it at all.

But that's how I do my translation from picrew to art.

---

// ORIGINAL CHARACTER DESIGN - Designing for characters based on universe settings!! (aka, designing for an essence or alternative universe!)

Another question/compliment I get a lot is about my essence skins (as well as my Halloween series designs), and the main thing is just... how do I do it?

And honestly, it's all about the character, personally! Let me explain. Hear me out, even.

Exhibit one. Dennis and Sadie (from the Azidoazide Laboratory essence)

And exhibit two. Saae Avente. (from the Emerald Masquerade essence)

When designing a character for an essence or alternative universe, for me personally, it's the most important to me that the character design is reflective of the character itself. Let me explain! Please... (/j)

In addition to the big three, posing/palette/"pop" item, the character itself is very important to the design! Think about it, what kind of person is this character supposed to be? Kind? Mysterious? Flirtatious? Villainous? Their character should translate into their design as well!

Having a character design representative of who they are (or, who they're perceived to be) can not only make designing them easier in my personal experience, but you personally get a design you utterly adore more than if you design them without their character in mind.

Give it a try next time you design a character with this kind of universe/essence thing in mind. Once you get in the zone, you can also knock out an essence of 13 people in just 2 days like me! (For legal reasons, if Four is reading this, this is a joke.)

"But what about when you're designing a character whose entire front is a red herring-" Design them as what people think they are as the red herring. If they're all kinds of fucked up but appear as kind and quaint, draw them as the kind and quaint person people assume them to be. If they're a nice person but have an intimidating aura and appear frightening, draw them as the frightening person people assume they are. If they're a good person but just look. so-so and unapproachable... draw them as the so-so and unapproachable person!

Initial impressions, especially in the context of character designs, are everything! Look at Saae's initial design as the emerald attendant, and come back and tell me if he looks like a psycho killer <3

---

// ORIGINAL CHARACTER DESIGN - Designing based on a canon character's design!!

This section will primarily relate to personaifcations of self, based on different videogame/animated characters, or just... sonas.

Designing an original character (such as an OC or sona) based on a canon character's design can always be... a little tricky. Since, there's so much that you as an artist are capable of working with, it can become overwhelming if there's too much to work with, y'know?

Ultimately, when working with a canon character and designing something new from it, you gotta break it down in chunks, otherwise, you'll get overwhelmed and crash.

When I design a sona (especially with a fandom source in mind), I break it down into the following categories BEFORE I proceed.

What is their source character? (ie, which character is their design based on?) What is their character role? (ie, what is their purpose? Huston's a for-hire hitman, Lyra's an idol, Lynx is a magician, etc.) And, what kind of character are they supposed to be? (Playful? Strict? Stern? Delusional?)

Sorting the sona process into those three categories makes things (for me, at least?) a lot easier to process, digest, and turn into a design.

Take Tricksty for example!

Based off DBD's "Trickster", Tricksty is one of the many character sonas I have under my belt! Similar to Trickster, she's a (deranged) K-pop idol! She's very lascidasical but inherently, a little fucking coocoo and (in the most fucked up sense of the word), playful! Meaning, in order to pull off this sona design of a sona based on DBD's Trickster, I'd want to keep those elements as I designed her. Making her pop, with the neon hints that Trickster's design has while keeping (that god AWFUL) yellow and pink color palette and neckline jewelry. It was hard (/j), but by god, I made it work.

And if I can make Trickster's ugly ass into a pretty woman (pretty much a pain in the ASS), then you can conquer even the most intimidating project you have on the backburner because like I could do it but am I good enough to do? Which, yes. Yes, you are, and I will explode anyone who thinks otherwise >v<

For sonas and character designs based on existing characters, the best course of action is simply to take it slow, take it one step at a time. Iron out the wrinkles, refine the details, and simply focus on getting it from point a to point b. it's better to have a failed design to rework later than it is to never properly get it out there and become frustrated because of it. Failure is simply a starting point to future success.

Again, it always comes down to the big three, but it's important to think, "what would I do if I were them?" Sonas in particular, its easiest when you put yourself in their (probably fucked up) shoes. Like yeah my ass went to jail and got executed but I want to look CUTE in this jumpsuit so how would I pull that off.

---

// CANON CHARACTER DESIGN - Designing from a canon (human) character's design!!

Canon characters can be the trickiest character designs to do. Because they have a character design already... but you still want to make a character design that's still them but representative of you as an artist. In which, the advice I'm about to give might honestly not be... that helpful if you're looking for genuine advice but.

Draw them however you want. It most likely won't be harming anyone else, and if people don't like it, they can simply scroll past.

Whether its a redesign, an au design, or just fanart with a headcanon in it, design in a way that makes you happy! It's a headcanon for a reason!

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, y'know. If a design makes you happy, who gives a damn!

Take the roommates, for example. Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang (the ONLY time I'll be dropping their fr fr names) don't look anywhere near this in the source material, but at the end of the day, I'm not really drawing this for anyone but myself, so, I should draw them in a way that makes me happy.

Let me stick stickers all over roommate one's face because that's what I think would be fun! Let me draw roommate two almost exclusively in greyscale because that's what I think would be the most fun for me!

You only live once. And if you try to force yourself to stick strictly by canon, you might hate the experience of drawing a canon character and never draw them again!

It's okay to have fun. It's okay to experiment with a character design, adding your own touches, headcanons, etc. You'll always have more fun drawing and designing what you want HOW you want. Who cares what a person you'll probably never see again afterwards might have to say.

If you can't do things for the sake of your own joy and happiness every once in a while, especially in a medium like art? What are you really doing it for?

Drawing what you want, whoever you want, however you want, if for nothing else other than your own personal enjoyment.

---

// CANON CHARACTER DESIGN - Designing from a canon (non-human) character's design!! (aka, a ginjika!)

oh my god im almost done im almost FREEEEEE. WOOOOOO YIPPEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHH.

So, designing a character (typically a non-human character, or a character with animalistic features) and turning them into a human can be a fun experience or it can land you on a "top ten most wanted" list, its all about personal vibes! Typically, we call these kinds of character designs "ginjikas". And, its something I'm... known for doing a decent amount.

Which, it's something I'm known for, something people enjoy seeing, some designs so enjoyed that other people have drawn for themselves and made. amazing shitposts with /j And I just figured, while I was on my explaining arc, it'd be a good time to explain how I get to their designs!

In which... it's honestly all about the vibes. Combined with the big three from the first section and "draw what makes you happy" from the latest section, there's no one particular way to create a gijinka of an animalistic character.

Of course, you have to keep certain details in mind, like the animal they are, their general movement, what they're made up of, etc. But, beyond that? That's the best part; you have so much creative freedom and liberty to draw them as you want!

Mister Tail is made of fire, snarky, floats, and he's just. a bit of a menace! And I love him! I love this design for him!

The Joy Joy Gang fucking haunts my nightmare but their human designs are so special and fun to me, there's a certain... joy 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️that they bring me when I draw them, even in shitty low quality.

Shadow and Hello Kitty's alternative designs?

Hell, even the SAME character design can look very different at different points in the timeline. Because I CAN.

I can't stress this enough. Have fun with your craft. If you can't have fun with it, if you can't look at a design and it doesn't make you happy to draw it, even poorly, you're being too restrictive and too hard on yourself.

Your art is your art, and especially with ginjikas? Design them in a way that sparks joy.

Because if it doesn't spark joy, if it doesn't make you smile when you see it, you're doing it wrong. Draw with the vibes in mind, draw them in a way you enjoy, in a way you don't mind coming back to.

...

I can give you all the tips and advice in the world, sure. For all the pointers and resources and everything I can give, there's something much more important than that all. I can give you advice, I can help you, I can break down my art process all the live laugh love day but.

If you're having fun, at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

that's what 16 years of drawing has taught me. They say experience is the best teacher, right? So, take these tips and tricks if you want, I got plenty of knowledge to spare! But, experience it for yourself, and I'm sure you, anon, and everyone else curious reading this, will find the tricks that work for you too.

If you have any more questions concerning this, guys, feel free to ask, I'm more than happy to help out where I can!

[theoraeeken]

🩸🩸🩸🐺🐺🐺

make me write challenge: 🩸thiam college era

Most people, even the ones who generally consider themselves to be cynical and distrusting, don't live their lives on the lookout for the next attack. Theo does, but Theo was reduced down to his base components and remade into a weapon. It's not something the average person has to go through, and it would have been remarkably poor luck for that person to be a random city employee in this one particular coffee shop in LA. Altogether, it makes an easy job out of bumping absently into the woman while he pretends to inspect the muffin display, and sliding her security badge out of the holder she has clipped to her belt.

"Oh my goodness, sorry," he apologises emphatically, "Sorry, I- Late night study session," Theo explains with a pitiful expression, "I think left half my brain at home," he adds sheepishly.

The vague flicker of irritation in her eyes immediately sinks away when he smiles awkwardly, looking up at her through the hair that has fallen in front of his eyes.

"No worries," she says, with a small smile that is so genuine that Theo briefly considers whether or not he should feel bad for picking her pocket. She even wavers, like she's tempted to try and pick up a conversation, but the barista calls her and her coworker forward to order.

Casting his eye over to the table where Liam is sat, he sees him glancing over his shoulder with an eyebrow raised.

make me write challenge: 🐺thiam immediate post hospital s6

"Why aren't you healing?" Scott demands, "Was there wolfsbane in the-"

"No," Theo says quickly, "No, just a normal bullet."

"Have you not gotten it out yet?" Liam asks, eyes wide with shock.

Theo scowls at him, a silent attempt at getting him to shut the fuck up because the rising attention aimed at him is getting to a disconcerting level. Even the sheriff looks mildly concerned, and Theo's pretty sure that the man would willingly put a bullet in him with even the slightest provocation.

"It's fine," he says evenly, "I'll get it out."

There's a heavy pause in the room, before Melissa gently asks, "How exactly are you going to remove the bullet from the back of your shoulder?"

In one smooth motion, Theo flicks the claws on one hand out with a soft snick sound. Melissa blinks, shakes her head, sighs, then stands up, pulling a chair out as she grabs a first aid kit off the top of the refrigerator. The message is clear, and Theo does consider, briefly, objecting, but he doesn't fancy his chances winning that fight, and, well. If this is what it takes to satisfy everyone's pathological caretaking addiction, then he's too tired to argue.

[my-head-is-an-animal]

The Climb

Summary: You're a scientist, an engineer to be exact. Called to a meeting you had no real right to be at, Optimus Prime takes an exclusive interest in you, but you can't help but ask yourself at every turn, Why?

Rating: 18+ 🌹🩸🍆

Story Masterlist

Chapter 5

I really wasn’t sure what to make of Optimus’s strange response to my question, but I maintained that if he had faith in me, then everything would be okay.

     Colonel Morshower called in for an update with myself and Lennox, Optimus was loitering on the other side of the hanger, behind the screen.

     ‘How’s it going Dr Harding?’ He asked, sitting down in his usual seat on the video link.

     ‘Well, I’m not out of breath walking up those stairs anymore.’ I tried to joke, gaining only a small smile from the Colonel.

     ‘It’s going well, sir.’ Lennox intervened. ‘Dr Harding’s physical capabilities have improved drastically over the last two months and her team have been working on a way to reduce the amount needed to climb.’

     ‘How? I thought electronics would be detected?’

     ‘Yes, sir.’ I cut in. ‘But we can use a suction gun that works via air pressure instead. No electronics needed.’

     ‘That’s good to hear.’ Morshower nodded. ‘What about when you get inside the ship?’

     ‘That’s proving to be more difficult.’ Lennox admitted. ‘So far as we can tell, Dr Harding will need to either take or construct a small bomb to disrupt the ship enough to stop it from harvesting our core.’

     ‘Make a bomb?’

     ‘Oh, it’s easy enough, but the hard part will be having to carry the extra weight.’ I waved my hand, dismissing the question.

     ‘It’s easy, is it?’ Morshower raised his eyebrow, almost amused. ‘Remind me to keep a closer eye on you Doctor. What about descent?’

     I felt the guilt whip at my chest as Lennox stepped forward. ‘We’re planning a parachute jump, but hopefully by that point, the ship will be incapacitated, and Harding can be picked up by one of the Autobots.’

     I glanced at Optimus who may well have been thinking the same thing as me.

     ‘This plan seems to be getting more and more elaborate by the day, are you sure you’re up to it, Harding?’

     ‘Well, we don’t have much of a choice now, sir.’ I sighed. ‘It’s too late to train anyone else and if making a bomb is now an essential component, it limits the possibilities considerably.’

     ‘Very well.’

     The colonel and Lennox had other things to discuss, and I had an air pressure gun to build with Theo. I wandered back down the stairs and caught Optimus out of the corner of my eye, he always watched me, like he was expecting something to happen.

     I went back to the lab and continued working on the prototype gun, Theo had managed to shave off a lot of the weight already, but it would still be weight I didn’t want to carry around. I’d already started training carrying a parachute and a couple of weights that approximated the same weight needed to construct a small bomb. It made everything harder, but Lennox reminded me that gravity was heavier closer to the Earth’s surface, it should get easier the further up I went.

     ‘Shit.’ I whispered.

     ‘What?’ Theo suddenly looked down at the gun I was constructing. ‘Something wrong?’

     ‘Altitude.’ I breathed. ‘The air’s going to be really thin up there.’

     ‘Shit.’ Theo sighed as well.

     Suddenly everything was that much harder. If I ran out of breath in an oxygen rich environment, then I would almost certainly pass out so close to the edge of the atmosphere.

     I went for a walk in the quieter part of the base, just getting some space to think.

     ‘Harding.’ Ironhide nodded as I wandered passed him hanging out with Bumblebee. ‘Made any progress on that gun yet? I’ll gladly help you out.’

     I chuckled. ‘I told you, it’s not a real gun, it’s to help me make the climb. If I can get it working, I can pull myself up maybe twenty feet at a time.’

     ‘Urgh, so civil.’ He shook his head, making me laugh a little. ‘So, not to intrude, but how did it go with Prime the other night?’

     ‘What do you mean?’ I frowned.

     ‘He came back to the hanger in a beast of a mood. What did you say to him?’

     I shook my head. ‘I didn’t say anything. I asked him why he let me speak the first day we met, and he told me he couldn’t say. Then he basically ordered me to get some rest. That was about it.’

     ‘Hmm.’ Ironhide shrugged and began walking away.

     I couldn’t dwell too much on his question, I needed to figure out a way to breathe while at high altitude without resorting to carrying an oxygen tank.

     I found a quiet spot just behind a hill and sat on the grass staring out at the ocean. It was beautiful, but it was obvious all of a sudden that I wasn’t alone. Optimus.

     ‘I didn’t want to disturb you.’ He said, looking as if he’d been standing there for some time.

     ‘It’s okay, I can leave you alone if you wanted some peace.’ I went to stand.

     ‘No.’ He stopped me, holding out his hand, but immediately brought it back to his side and said nothing else.

     ‘Okay.’ I didn’t want to push him to say what was on his mind, he didn’t need that from me.

     ‘How is your progress?’ Optimus suddenly asked, keeping his conversation professional.

     ‘It’s fine.’ I shook my head. ‘But I had the realisation that at such a high altitude, lack of oxygen is a problem.’

     ‘Hmm.’ He nodded running his finger along his chin thoughtfully. ‘I have seen humans wear masks when oxygen is low, can you not construct a device that operates in a similar fashion?’

     ‘I can, but the problem is the weight. I’ll already be carrying more than I want to and I can’t carry anything unnecessary.’

     ‘Oxygen is necessary.’ Optimus countered.

     ‘I know.’ I sighed. ‘I just mean…’ I really didn’t want to say what I was thinking. ‘I could swap the parachute for an oxygen mask, that way we’ll actually be shaving off some weight.’

     ‘The parachute is for your descent. It is also necessary.’

     I let a heavy breath go. ‘Look, you and I both know that my chances of survival are slim anyway, the fact is I will have to put the bomb on a timer and I don’t know if I’ll have enough energy left to make my way off that ship-‘

     ‘Stop.’ Optimus growled, once again, descending to his knees to talk to me. ‘You will make the descent, Dr Harding. You cannot sacrifice yourself needlessly.’

     ‘It won’t be needless if it saves the world.’ I shot back.

     ‘I cannot allow you to die on this mission, I would rather do so myself.’ He was angry, I knew that much, but shame seemed to follow from the way his complex face moved afterwards.

     ‘Look, I know we’re different beings,’ I started, noting a change in his expression that I couldn’t quite identify. ‘I know we have different cultures and honestly, when I first dreamed about meeting an Autobot, one of the first things I thought about was how great it would be to get to know you, understand your customs, the way you work and maybe if you trusted me enough, I could ask you about how you operate. But now, all I want is to know what it is about me that upsets you so much.’

     ‘Upsets me?’

     ‘Because right now… I feel so small compared to you, I feel like I can’t do this and I was never worthy of being your choice-‘

     ‘Stop.’ Optimus commanded again, moving himself closer to me, hesitating before stopping completely. Optimus sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. ‘Dr Harding, I cannot express my feelings for you in a way that would represent them accurately. All I know, is that if you fail, if you die, I may lose my reason for being.’

     I felt my heart fall through the floor, before shooting back up to my chest and working in overdrive.

     ‘I don’t understand.’ I could feel the tears escaping. ‘Are you saying…’ I swallowed unable to imagine ever asking what I was about to ask, especially to Optimus Prime. ‘Are you saying you like me?’

     ‘It would be such a small fraction of my feelings for you, but yes, I do.’ He nodded and I could feel my heart pumping even harder. ‘I do not expect you to return such feelings, but I would ask that you continue to look after yourself, it pains me greatly to see you hurting yourself, or not complying with your body’s wishes to rest.’

     I didn’t have the chance to say anything else. Optimus immediately stood and transformed into the blue and red flamed truck and drove away. What was I supposed to do with the information?

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[eclipsellium]

#2. Red light, Green light

More study tips! Separate your to-do list into three buckets: red light tasks, yellow light, and green light.

Red light tasks are the hardest things you have to do. Typically, there is some planning involved, different components, and it will take you multiple days to work on it. Think essay, presentation, big project.

This might come as a surprise but studying for hard tests I put in the yellow light category. (If you’re cramming put this in the red category, but pls don’t.) You are going to want to split up hefty homework assignments and big tests into smaller actionable pieces. The idea is to study a bit every day. The idea is that there is more flexibility and resources while you study, and each problem generally has a clear solution.

Green light is something like emails, routine Khan Academy practice, reading a chapter of a book, or small homework assignments. The point of my system is to be flexible and put things into categories based on how I’m feeling and how much time there is as well.

What this does is it reduces your to do list into three sections, makes a plan, and helps you quantify how urgent tasks are.

Here is my typical schedule for these tasks:

After school:

Break for 1hr

Green as a warmup

Yellow for one hour for 1-1.5hrs

Red after dinner for 2~hrs

Green until tired .5hrs

Weekends:

Finish ALL Green in the morning Sat

Red for 5~ hrs (or however much you need) Sat

Breaks interwoven between

Dinner and relaxing Sat evening

Yellow for 2-3~ hr Sun

Red for 1-1.5hr Sun evening

Day off where I wasted the entire morning:

Red for 2hrs

Yellow for 2hrs

After dinner do Green until tired