#Randy is based on ever terrible person ever

[flowiehowie]

Tales of Heroism OC Profile #1

So about a year ago I started the Masks: A new Generation tabletop game with two of my friends. The premise of the game is basically Super heroes DnD. It was fun but didn't last as I was the only one between us with interest in super heroics and the story we were making kinda turned into an Urban Fantasy setting. However I still had deep love for my super hero characters so I kept adding to the world I was making, making a Google Doc of character profiles and plot ideas.

Now since this Quarantine has me loosing my mind I decided to post them. I dont know how many I will do, but I have a lot of love for these characters and this setting I made, so if you happen to see this, I hope you enjoy them too! Please ask me questions! If you have your own super hero OC tell me about them! Super heroes are cool. We need more of them.

SOCIETY OF CHAMPIONS HERO DOSSIERS   HERO ID: M-19T-M34 HEROIC ALIAS: Hourglass CURRENT RANK: 103 FULL NAME: Aaliyah Curtis SEX: FEMALE HEIGHT: Imperial: 6 Feet 10 inches. Metric: 208.28cm RACE: African-American HAIR COLOR: Brown EYE COLOR: Black Sclera, glowing green iris.   ANOMOLOUS APPEARANCE?: Yes. Across the left side of her face, her chest, her shoulders, and her lower back and upper thighs, she has small green stones embedded in her skin. Cracks of green energy may also appear near these stones. Her left arm has been completely replaced with a long durable spike of this green stone. DATE OF BIRTH: July 10th, 1953 (Note made by Kelsey B., Archivist; Despite knowing her DOB, the age of Hourglass is constantly in flux due to the nature of her powers. Refer to Professor Scath’s medical reports for further analysis and data regarding this) NEXT OF KIN: N/A POWER OF ATTORNEY: Cassandra Clark ORIGIN OF POWERS: Mutation( ) - Inherited Genetics ( ) - Forced Experimentation ( ) - Cybernetic augmentation ( ) - Cosmic Force (X) - Extraterrestrial ( ) - Extraterrestrial experimentation ( ) - Divine Force ( ) - ORIGIN OF POWER NOTES: Archivist Kelsey Bernard. I have spent an hour with Hourglass trying to record the exact origins and circumstances of her powers, however she was frustratingly dismissive of my attempts. All I could gather is that when she was young she somehow fell into the dimension she refers to as the ‘Eternal Epoch’. May I personal suggest that is a ridiclously pretentious name. Just call it the time zone or something. These heroes and their silly names. Anyways she fell into the ‘Eternal Epoch’, a dimension of pure time, whatever that means. Time is an illusion everyone knows that. It was there she gained her powers, and had the green crystals embedded in her chest, stomach, face, and where she lost her arm. And gained the cool sword arm. God how cool would that be having a sword arm? Randy wouldn't steal my lunches if I had a sword arm. I wonder if Hourglass could threaten Randy for me. I mean shes a hero and he is a vile criminal that keeps stealing my grilled cheeses so... POWERS:   1.) Personal Time Manipulation: Her base power and theme she based her name on. Given to her from her time trapped in the Eternal Epoch dimension. She can speed herself up or down, and any object(s) or person(s) in her line of sight. She can’rewind’ a person(s) or object(s) movement to up to a minute. 2.) Expounded attacks: A variation of her Time manipulation ability. Hourglass can manipulate the feeling of one of her attacks, and replay it rapidly. As such if she punches you once she can make it feel like 100 hits. She can do this for other physical sensations as well.   3.) Time Healing. A variation of her time manipulation ability. Hourglass may use her abilities on any wounds to regrow and repair damage. There seems to be a limit to this as Hourglass can not undo limb lose, or to heal internal injuries. 4.) Physical boost: As with all Meta Humans Hourglass has increased durability, endurance, strength, and speed. How much of this is related to her Time Manipulation ability is unclear 5.) Portal manipulation: Hourglass is able to open portals to the Eternal Enoch. It seems she can enter and exit the dimension at will. It seems as if she can be pulled into the dimension unwillingly as well. When asked  about this Hourglass simply replied “What can I say,when you time travel you learn to prank yourself in annoying ways”. PHYSICAL ABILITIES:   1.) Experienced Boxer. 2.) Basic fencing and swordplay skills. PERSONALITY AND TEMPERAMENT: Observed and documented by Archivist Kelsey Bernard.In my time spent with Hourglass one would label her as laid back. She relishes any moment to sit and rest, and will usually respond to any threats and calls to duty with a sigh and an eye roll. Despite this she seems to enjoy being active in her encounters with the League of Rouges.  More than that she also treats the villains she comes across with familiarity. In a battle I witnessed between the speedster Constance Motio AKA Motor, Hourglass would ask about her family and school life. Motor seemed happy for the talk, and even asked Hourglass for life advice. In turn Hourglass likes to involve the Reporter Cassandra Clark in these conversations as well, which leads me to Hourglass’ relationship with the reporter. Why is it heroes are always drawn to reporters? Is it like a universal law? Cassandra Clark, or as she likes to be called Cassie, was one of the first to discover Hourglass. The two seemed to form a friendship, and are never to far apart. I observed Hourglass spending much of her free time with Cassie, and despite officials of the Society asking her not to, will regularly involve Cassie in ongoing investigations. WEAKNESS: Does Orange soda count? Or as she calls it ‘Sody-pop’. Jeez showing your age a bit there Hourglass sweetie. It is fun to say though. Seriously she chugs those things. All the time. More professionally though, I have observed no physical weakness. You will need to refer to The Umber Knights Combat files. As to her powers I observed that the more she uses her time manipulation powers cracks of energy appear on her skin. She tends to not think ahead and is very reactionary in the moment.  It is easy to provoke her, and she is quick to loose her temper. Especially when dealing with Ricky Delaney, AKA Stalemate. Whenever Stalemate is involved she tends to act very petty and rash. She is also unable to assume a secret identity due to her anomalous appearance, though she does not seem to mind this. CLOSING NOTES: Archivist Kelsey Bernard. God am I glad no one really reads these general profiles. I wouldn't have nearly as much fun with them. Hourglass is hot and may I just say I totally ship her and Cassie. Am I allowed to say that? Imma do it anyways. Next time she comes in to collect her stipend I am going to ask her to go knock Randy’s head into the fridge.

[plus-size-reader]

Curfew

Randy Meeks x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 3065 words

Warnings: none

Summary: The reader struggling when the curfew is put into place, but Randy has an idea that could make it a little better.

—————————————————————————————————

You were bored.

Woodsboro wasn’t a super happening place to begin with but now that the curfew was in place, it was even worse.

There was nothing to do, and with the additional stress that these recent murders had put on everyone, you were about to blow. The boys could see it, Tatum and Sidney could see it, and most important, Randy could see it.

It was only a matter of time before you absolutely lost it.

Your parents were taking this whole thing extra hard and basically had you on complete lockdown outside of attending school. They couldn’t imagine going through what Casey and Steve’s parents were going through right now, and they were scared.

Which was fair enough.

Everyone was scared right now, but you didn’t understand how putting you under house arrest was going to keep you any safer than you would be anywhere else. Casey was killed at home, after all?

If anything, you would be much safer in a group setting than you would be locked up in your house alone. Still, your parents had made themselves very clear where this topic was concerned. You were absolutely forbidden from attending Stu’s party, or any other party until the curfew was lifted.

It just made everything that much worse.

Parties, especially Stu’s parties, were one of the only things you were looking forward to as of late. Knowing that you couldn’t go to them was really starting to wear on you, and you were understandably let down by the whole thing.

...but it wasn’t just that.

Getting together with a big group of people, your age and ready to party, was an escape for you. With so much uncertainty going on and everything falling apart at the seams, you needed that normalcy to feel human again.

Not that you could really complain about that to anyone who could actually do something about it.

You knew that there was a very real danger out there and the only way to really be safe would be to stay inside your home where no one could get you but you just felt like your folks were taking it a little too seriously.

If everyone else was going to be out anyway, what different was it going to make, really? If anything, it made you a bigger target because you were one of the only people stuck in your house while everybody else was together.

To you, the logic was sound but to them, it was little more than a pathetic excuse to get out of the town’s mandated curfew.  

Which it kind of was, but you couldn’t help but feel like they were being unreasonable. You were a smart, responsible young woman and you weren’t going to take any stupid, unnecessary risks. You just wanted to maintain some level of normal life.

You were tired of being stuck at home like a rat in a cage, never allowed to go out and do anything. It was a stark contrast to how you normally were, with a thriving social life and active party presence.

It was almost as if you were dead too, not to be dramatic.

This was just hard on you, and they weren’t making it any easier. You had to rely on your friends, now more than ever, and they were basically cutting off any contact you had with them to lunch at school and quick phone conversations.

No one would have just taken that and been happy with it. Certainly not within your tight knit group of friends.

You sighed, fiddling with your pen as you tried to remember all the things you needed to get done when you got home. You knew well enough to know that if you didn’t write it down now, you would never remember it all.

With everything else on your mind, school seemed like the least of your worries.

You were so enthralled, in fact, tapping your pen away on the table that you didn’t even notice at first when Randy came up and sat down beside you, taking note of how unhappy you were about everything going on right now.

He couldn’t blame you.

The male at your side was perfectly aware of how excited you had been for the parties the recent nice weather was bound to bring, and equally as aware of how bummed you were that your parents had put a kibosh on the latest shindig before it even had a chance to begin.

“You okay?” he hummed, startling you just a bit when you looked up to see him already sitting at your side, but the racing in your chest calmed down just as quick. No one really knew who was responsible for all these terrible murders but you knew in your heart it wasn’t Randy.

You had known him all your life and even if he was a little strange, he was the sweetest guy in Woodsboro. He wasn’t some natural born killer or a sociopath on a killing spree.

“Honestly, if I have to think about this anymore, my brain might explode” you allowed, leaning slightly into his side to take some of the pressure off your aching, tight muscles as you kept focus on your schedule.

All this stress had to be bad for your body.

Tatum seemed to think so, at least, warning you that if you didn’t learn to decompress somehow you were going to go prematurely grey and get crows feet under your eyes. While you weren’t sure how much you trusted her endless cosmo knowledge, you certainly didn’t feel the greatest.

This was all just a lot for one person to juggle.

Randy could see that much.

He had been watching you all day, moping around that you wouldn’t be allowed to go to Stu’s party and worrying about a huge midterm you had to take for your english class that would physically make or break your grade.

You were spreading yourself way too thin. Luckily, he had an idea of just how he could help you feel a little bit better without breaking your parents' rules.

He just wasn’t so sure you’d go for it once you found out just what he had in mind.

“I was thinking, maybe you’d wanna come over to my place later? I have tonight off so we could watch a movie or something?” he offered, trying not to come across as painfully awkward as he felt. Randy was your friend, and usually could talk to you no problem but what he was proposing was different.

The two of you had never really hung out, just the two of you, before.

You nodded, not even looking up from your notebook as you scribbled something down in black ink, likely a reminder to do your calculus homework based on the way your brow knit together as you formed the letters.

You were preoccupied, too in your head to really consider what was going on but he certainly wasn’t.

Randy was aware of every little movement you made, from the way your nose scrunched up as you concentrated on making sure all the due dates and assignments were right on your calendar to the way your shoulder rested gently against his side.

“Who else did you invite? You know Tatum always complains about the movies you pick” you reminded, thinking over all the times the six of you had tried to watch movies together in the past. She got bored of psychological thrillers and grossed out at the gorey slashers.

She was much more of a Meg Ryan fan herself, constantly pulling for the cheesy romance flicks that made you want to ralph. You couldn’t put it past her to make Randy grab a couple of sappy videos too, just in case.

If she was going to be involved in movie night, you were sure you’d have to shoot down a few of those crappy comedies before you could watch anything worthwhile.

Randy sighed lightly, doing his best to keep you from noticing as he thought about what his next move was. Clearly, you’d missed the point of what he was asking entirely, not that he could blame you.

He had never really been good at asking out pretty girls, especially not ones he;d known since he was in elementary school, so this was new for him as well. He just sort of hoped that you would catch his drift early so he wouldn’t have to clarify out loud.

The last thing he wanted to do was put you on the spot and make you uncomfortable.

“Oh, I was actually hoping it could just be the two of us. I know it's no Stu Macher party but it could be fun” he shrugged, this time almost wishing a giant hole would open up from under him so that he didn’t have to have this conversation.

He wanted you to say yes, of course, more than anything but he just wasn’t sure if it was going to happen and if it wasn’t, he wanted to know early on.

At least then he could have some dignity in this whole thing.

You stopped writing for a second, letting the meaning of his words sink in as you sat there, your left leg bouncing up and down to try and keep up with the racing of your thoughts. It had been going nonstop since you sat down, but now, it was just resting against his.

Was Randy hitting on you?

Randy Meeks, your childhood best friend who had never once made a move on you aside from calling you pretty in your winter formal dress in middle school?

It didn't seem likely, but it was also hard to misinterpret his words. That was about as cut and dry as a date invite could be, and if it had been coming from anyone else, Tatum and Sid would have surely confirmed it for you if you asked.

Not that you could ask either of them right now.

“You wanna watch a movie tonight? Just you and me, at your house?” you clarified, setting your notebook down beside you without a second thought in favor of looking him in the eye.

He was uncertain for a second, trying to read any cues of how you were feeling about that from your own expression but found nothing there, so he nodded.

“Like a date?” you hummed, the words barely leaving your lips as you spoke them, feeling silly at having to clarify at all but you couldn’t help it. If he wasn’t meaning it in that way and you took it like that, you risked making an even bigger ass of yourself.

...but if he did, you needed to know that too.

There was a light blush on his freckled face as he considered his options before he nodded again, giving you all the information you needed. Randy was definitely hitting on you, now all you had to do was decide if you wanted to.

A movie could be fun.

You and Randy had watched a hundred movies together before, with you sometimes staying after hours at the video store while he closed to just see the ending of Frankenstein's bride that you loved so much.

Usually, there were more people there, Tatum and Stu at the very least, with Billy and Sid joining in when they saw fit, but it couldn’t be so different to just be the two of you.

You loved spending time with him, so doing so under the context of it being a date couldn’t possibly change that up so much. This was just Randy after all, it wasn’t like he was some guy you’d only just met or some creep Tatum thought it was okay to set you up with.

...and you were sure that your parents would agree to it.

Spending a few hours at Randy’s house was vastly different than going to some house party and out of all your friends, you knew that they trusted him the most. If he said you were there, they would believe him which would cut down on the third degree.

There really were no downsides.

Besides, if you were going to go out with any of your friends, it would be him, even if Billy or Stu did happen to be single. You and Randy just had a lot more in common and you knew that he would never put you in any danger.

You trusted him, and you liked him.

If he liked you too, it only made sense that you had a movie night together, just the two of you.

~

Getting your parents to agree to letting you spend a few hours at Randy’s house wasn’t as easy a sell as you thought it would be but by the time he came to pick you up, he managed to convince them that it would all be fine.

He wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and in all honesty, they believed it.

Randy had never given them any reason not to trust him and at the end of the day, they came to the conclusion that you did have a little bit of a point. Knowing that you were somewhere with someone else made them feel a little bit better than if you were home alone.

It brought some amount of comfort to know that Randy would be there with you. Besides, your mother was just so thrilled that he’d finally asked you out on a date that you were sure she would have agreed to anything.

That was how you got here in the first place, walking down the familiar aisles of the video store with Randy as you searched for something to watch. Between the two of you, you had basically seen all the good horror films that they had available.

Not that knowing that was stopping either of you from picking up title after title, looking them over incredulously as you searched for the perfect thing.

Initially, Randy was just going to pick something up on the way to get you but decided that this would probably be more up your alley first. The video store was only open for a short time today due to the curfew but that was more than enough time for him to find exactly what he wanted.

After all, there wasn’t a title in the store that Randy didn’t know by heart. In fact, he had likely put them each right where they were, in each of their respective spots on the shelf. That was literally all he did all day when he did work.

“What about this one?” you suggested, holding up a pretty well loved copy of night of the living dead happily for his approval. It was a classic, one that you had each seen a dozen times, but because of that, it was quick to go into the basket.

Then, after scanning the few horror aisles one more time, Randy settled on what he always settled on and plucked a copy of Prom Night off the shelf.

At this point, you were sure he’d rented that specific video nineteen times by now but didn’t bother to point that out. You knew that it was one of his favorite movies of all time and if that was what he wanted to watch tonight, you weren’t going to argue.

All you really wanted to do was spend the night relaxing with your best friend, on what was technically also your first date. It was a little bit of pressure, more so than you were used to, but nothing that you couldn’t handle.

At the end of the day, you loved Randy and this was just something else you could do together.

“Alright, are you ready to go? I’ve got plenty of good snacks at the house for us to munch on too” he promised, fully aware of just how you liked your movie nights to go down. That was something else the two of you had in common.

You were very particular about your movies, especially horror movies.

It was something he could appreciate, along with your sense of humor and heart of gold. All in all, when Randy actually stopped to think about it, he wasn’t sure why he’d waited so long to ask you to do this in the first place.

This was going to be awesome.

~

Randy’s house was nice, of course, well put together every single time you had been there but you couldn't really focus too much on that.

Instead, you occupied yourself putting the tapes into the player while Randy made popcorn in the kitchen. It was kind of strange for a few moments, as you sat waiting for him to get back, looking around the living room under such new circumstances.

You have been here a hundred times before.

You had sat in this exact spot plenty of times but tonight, it was so different. You had only ever been here before as a friend, normally with all your other friends there to keep you company even when someone had to leave the room but not anymore.

Right now, you were waiting here as a girl on a date, a date with a guy you’d known your entire life.

It was just so strange how quickly everything had changed. Just this morning, you and Randy were little more than friends, and now, you couldn’t quite be sure what you were. Not that you had too much time to consider that before he was back.

“I bring gifts,” Randy grinned, plopping down beside you on the couch, swamping the coffee table with bags of chips and assorted boxes of candy before handing you the big bowl of popcorn. Clearly when he promised snacks, he wasn’t kidding.

You watched him do a onceover of the spread he’d provided before he ultimately decided that it was going to be fine.

“Perfect, just what we needed” you smiled, relaxing even further into the couch next to him, getting ready to start whatever it was that was going on between the two of you. It was new, uncharted territory for the both of you but it wasn’t looking too bad.

A copy of Prom Night and some popcorn with Randy was perhaps the only thing that could make this whole curfew thing worthwhile.

[the-kipsabian]

18, 22, 26, 30, 32, 39? Wrestling asks for u, pls ramble for me

bless you babe 💜

wrestling asks

under a read more cause OH BOY this got long sorry not sorry

18: Best feud i dont know if i have one solid answer for this, but lemme just ramble a few that come to mind when i think stuff ive enjoyed.. few of the first ones i ever witnessed years ago, eddie guerrero vs rey mysterio. this is like my introduction to wrestling, the first time i got familiar with the context of heels and faces, etc. this was ultimately really stupid (the whole eddie was dominics dad, you know the one lol), but its the one im extremely nostalgic for and i will always remember it fondly despite that lol

then i dont remember a lot of it tbh, but at the time matt hardy vs edge (when he came back innnnnn 2007?? was that the year lmao), it introduced me to the terrible world of wrestling love triangles and also i do believe this was the first time i saw a bloody cage match. also the tension in this from that era will live with me forever my god

just a bonus mention to randy orton (or technically the ortons i guess) vs the undertaker. that shit went HARD in my tiny teen brain jfc

for more current stuff.. i mean i was always a fan of the whole kip sabian/miro vs best friends stuff. it had so much potential on all ends, im just very upset it got cut when it did cause kip was injured. also that is to date my favorite wrestling wedding honestly. only really rivaled by the indy/dexter one but anyways lol

also very much a fan of whatever the fuck jay white and kazuchika okada have going on at all times. i dont think i have to explain how much i enjoy the (sexual) tension and taking any times i can get to yell at jay and look at okada buT ANYWAYS

and a special mention to the one i know nobody else ever liked, but the whole thing seth and murphy had going on with the mysterios during the pandemic. it was the one thing that kept me really interested in wrestling on a weekly basis, i personally found it incredible until the end after they completely shafted murphy before releasing him etc., but prior to that everything in that was absolutely my shit. everything from the monday night messiah to the goddamn disciple run. i could base my entire personality around that whole storyline and im not kidding lol

ALSO ALSO literally anything eddie kingston has going on. him fighting anyone, right now especially garcia and claudio tho, is just fucking lit at all times. this man knows whats up

22: Worst entrance theme im trying to think whats a bad theme but not associated to someone that i dont care for.. and unfortunately i have to say clark connors. ever since salty pointed out they are just robot farts i cant fucking unhear it and everythings gone to hell since LOL

like i love clark but my god

26: One unpopular opinion of yours oh im sure i have many lol. lemme just keep this very tame and say i dont think aew in its current state is very good. and this isnt just my "give me kip sabian back" bias, i just really dont care for the product, or any of them tbh, as a whole right now. i want the early days back when they showcased smaller talents more and actually had storylines i could care about and not just teams and factions like this is new japan all over again woo

30: You get to make your own stable. Who would it consist of? What is their name? ..is it a cop out to say i dont wanna make one, i just want to join in the united empire? im gonna say that anyways cause yes. please. ive made my case for ue before, but its like. they are a group of misfit assholes around the world, which hey i fit the bill too, trying to prove themselves cause everyone sees them as foreigners wherever they go and whatever they do so they never fit in geographically, but keep on fighting to prove everyone wrong in that way. and i want that too you know ..also i just really like united empire i dont fucking care (also its half nine in the morning im on my first cup of coffee i cant think sorry)

32: Who would you like to be in a mixed tag team with? so this comes from two places. but its cause ive been very infatuated with him recently, and ive kinda realized that if i ever were a wrestler (i wont be cause lmao what is being in shape or starting a physical career at the ripe age of 30) i would definitely lean towards being a technical wrestler out of the given options.. so yeah zack sabre jr cause im a biased bitch lol. also the smol and toll dynamic with two loudmouth bitches just yelling accented insults? yeah who am i to say no to that lol

39: What is your best wrestling related memory? okay im sure the best one is yet to come (JERSEY IN A MONTH +1 DAY I GET TO MEET SO MANY BABES), but theres two. 1. my first (and only) live show in 2019. sure we had kinda shit seats now thinking about it, but getting to chant live that sami zayn sucks alongside my brothers and like two other random kids in the audience will live with me forever tbh. and 2. when we got into watching old (we're talking about like 2016) nxt with @ss-trashboat to get her back into watching wrestling after a few years and yeah. it literally started with her saying she had never seen tyler breeze and here we are now, like two years later, watching (at least my first) g1 together <3 wrestling brings people together, as its also the thing that brought us together like eleven years ago as friends to begin with, so. yeah im very fond of stuff like this <33

[border-spam]

Q: Do you think Typhon was an abusive father? He says he was a 'third rate dad' but doesnt explain why. Randy said he refused to touch Tyreen after Leda died. His reaction to killing his kids could just be bad writing. Troy said he thought he was a freak, but that could be Troy's insecurity. Our only evidence is what Typhon and the Twins say, but Typhon is suspicious already and the Twins are shown to be manipulative. Was Typhon a clueless father trying his best or an abusive asshat?

Hooo boy. Been sitting on this one a while. In we go. 

Was Typhon DeLeon an abusive father: A nerd essay by me, cause I’m a sad fuck.

Yeah. He was. 100%. Absolutely.

Just not intentionally, and for reasons that were coming from good places. I can’t stand Typhon but I’m going to remain relatively unbiased in this bar insulting him as much as possible cause fuck Typhon. Eww.

Bl3 left us with shockingly little information to go on when it came to figuring out how all this went down, how Typhon’s upbringing or lack thereof of the Calypso Twins warped them into the broken monstrous Gods they became, and if he was actually really to blame or not.

We have four main players in this puzzle. Typhon, Troy, and Tyreen DeLeon, and Leda Calypso. One of these characters didn’t get a single line of dialogue and was reduced to being a fucktoy attached to a womb, so poor Leda is out of the equation.

We have a third party write up on Typhon released after the game containing a lot of content that was never in the game, including some of his logic behind the choices he made here.

And finally, we have the information given to us by the three remaining characters. Typhon, and the Calypso Twins.

Breaking this down further, we have two characters at odds with each other, Typhon and Tyreen. 

Tyreen hates Typhon. Hates. It can’t be stressed enough that the only motivation the writers left in the game for poor Ty, was how much she hated her father. Tyreen however, is also a grade A dramaqueen and someone who I cannot bring myself to trust completely when it comes to her describing how Typh treated the twins. I am positive everything she says is based on a truth, but how much of it has been over exaggerated and built on after years of brooding and hatred is up to us to work out, and that’s quite hard to do.

Typhon on the other hand, is a grade A bullshitter. We learn this through his logs and through actually just *talking* to the vile little prick. He speaks in anecdotes, he relies on constantly retelling stories to communicate. I wouldn’t trust the little shit as far as I could throw him. He constantly exaggerates his accolades, his sexual prowess, likely how much his wife was infatuated with him, his skill in adventuring, everything, but he still confirms he was not a good father, so that really says a lot. 

Finally, we have the only person I actually trust when it comes to their opinion on this. Finally, we have Troy.

Something I’ve noticed after chatting with friends about this and covering old content, is how little Troy Calypso ever seems to lie or bullshit. He is shockingly honest, it’s a real surprise compared to Tyreen. He’s truthful to the vault hunters, his emotions are pretty much worn on his sleeve around Ty, and even in dialogue with the likes of Katagawa he is direct and not nearly as “flowery” in his communication as she is. 

He hates the majority of the COV followers and shows a complete lack of coddling them, and he does the same with the VH and raiders. He’s direct in his communication in general, especially when alone and out of persona.

Troy gives us more backstory about the twin’s family life than literally any other point in the game does, and he explains it genuinely, 1:1 and privately to the VH over echocom. He has no reason to lie. There is no gain in this for him, there is no grounds for me to think anything he said was false because lying in this situation wouldn’t match his established character. 

Troy does not hate Typhon. 

Troy did not want to leave Nekrotafeyo. 

Troy did not want to leave his father.

The info Troy shares with us is that Typhon couldn’t let Ty out of his sight after Leda had her “accident”, and he was overbearing in his worry for her. Troy was sidelined as a child and felt that his father just saw him as a freak while doting (unwantedly it seems) on Tyreen. This may not have been directly the case, but again, there is no reason to think Troy is making this up. He doesn’t make up things like this for pity, he actually seems quite averse to looking for pity in general.

Tyreen says Typhon kept them in a cage, that he was afraid the Bandits in the universe would tear them apart, and instead held them prisoner. This is semi factual, but definitely blown out of proportion because again, Troy doesn’t feel this way. Typhon (according to the additional info in the writeup I linked) was terrified of what corporations would do to twin Sirens -considering one is male-, and that’s a really valid concern.

They would absolutely be hunted by the likes of Hyperion if Jack hadn’t been balls deep in his mad rush for the warrior at the time. Typh wouldn’t let them leave home based on this, and while I can understand his logic, there are three main things to consider here:

Troy and Tyreen both seem to think Typhon thought Ty was a monster and that was the reason they were not allowed leave. That is fucked. There is no way they both came up with this out of the blue, and Typhon must have at some point said something or acted in a way to imply this was the reason. That is horrific. That is beyond abusive to say to children, and it was definitely a factor in how warped their mentality towards themselves over time became.

The twins were so terrified of Typhon finding the ship parts Troy was working on and destroying them, that they hid them inside their mothers grave. Again. This is horrific. This is not something young adults who aren’t abused would consider doing. Troy has never alluded to hating Typhon and still agreed with Tyreen this needed to be done. The fear there is palpable, this is not the behavior of young adults who’s relationship with a parent is healthy.

The twins and Typhon had a complete lack of trust between them. A family with this level of distrust has encountered abuse at some point. Typhon was so distrusting of his near adult children ( the twins sounded very late teens - early twenties on Nekro ) that he refused to allow them to have any semblance of a life. He refused to let them be free, because he so feared they would either be incapable of caring for themselves, or would hurt others. The twins distrusted their father so much that they had to resort to hiding their escape means from him. Even Troy, who thought once the ship was complete they’d be taking Typhon with them, didn’t trust him enough to let him know what he was working on. They were afraid of what their father would do if he found out. 

This dynamic drips abuse. If it was just Tyreen telling this information to us, I’d find it hard to take as factual as I said earlier, it would feel blown out of proportion, but Troy telling us, and the echologs existing and backing it up? Well, it’s not a lie. It did happen.

The final piece for me is how Typhon responded to Troy being dead. 

He couldn’t have fucking cared less. He did not give a flying shit. 

The one person who had shown any regret towards leaving him, who had cared about him, and Typhon didn’t bat an eyelid that he was dead. He gives an “Ah well he was a monster anyway lol” response, then immediately starts trying to baby talk his wittle girl, his ickle Starlight. It’s gross. It was vile.

It really showed where his value lay and had always lay, and confirmed Troy had been telling the truth when he’d awkwardly tried to explain how Typhon had just always seen him as a freak, while overly doting on Tyreen to the point of smothering her. 

He was a terrible father, and while his abuse came from a place of concern and love, it was absolutely abuse. 

Had he so much as tried to find his kids, had he cared about them an iota more then sitting on a dead planet jacking off to memories of his wife for nearly a decade, the twins might have stood a chance. They might have been able to be happy.

Asks are open!

[badbookreviewclub]

Complete Review: Insanity: Jeff the Killer by Neesha Nickleson

DISCLAIMER: There are spoilers in this review. I highly doubt you will have any plans to read this book, but if you don’t want it to be spoiled, just don’t read the review until after you’ve read the book. To take a break from Empress Theresa and the pain that it has been causing me, I decided to read a fanfiction that Neesha Nickleson, self-published and sold via Amazon. Insanity: Jeff the Killer is significantly shorter than Empress Theresa, at a grand total of 76 pages. On the Amazon listing, Nickleson admits in ‘Videos for this product’ section that she wrote the book when she was fifteen, which in itself is almost endearing to me. Apparently, she wrote it for a contest that Nickleson claims to have won. I’m not entirely sure what the contest was for, but kudos to her. Nickleson also comments that there’s a sequel to this book, however, I haven’t been able to find it.  Neesha if somehow by the will of the fates if you find this review; Please, I just want book two. When will you release book two for purchase? I need it in my life.  The Summary: “Bullies and liars beware: A new threat is arising. Naomi Jansen just wanted to have a normal carefree life until she met Jeff at summer camp. Jeff is a laid back teenage boy with a dark secret. Then one morning at camp, Naomi hears that one of her long time bullies, Mallory, was found dead in her cabin. Naomi suspects Jeff at first but then decides that he’s too sweet do something like that, until a series of events changes her mind and her outlook on sanity.”  This summary isn’t terrible, to be honest. I’ve read far worse, though personally there are a few things I don’t like about it. First of all, revealing that Naomi’s bully was killed. I know this isn’t much of a plot twist because it happens within the first couple of pages in the book, but it gets rid of a sense of mystery. Second, we don’t really know anything about the characters right off of the bat besides general characteristics. I would have preferred if Jeff’s characteristics were written from Naomi’s first impression, for example: “Jeff seemed like a laid back teenager, though when Naomi hangs out around him, the air feels off.” Not the best that could be done considering I literally just threw that out there, but there are small revisions that could be done to give more of a sense of mystery to the book and the characters without pulling from the content of the summary itself.  I do know that this book is quite literally about the Creepypasta, Jeff the Killer, so it isn’t as if anyone reading it has no idea who Jeff the Killer is, but I do feel like the point still stands. Just because a reader has an idea about the content of the book doesn’t give an author the excuse of revealing plot points in the summary. I do also understand that it was written when Nickleson was a fifteen-year-old, so I don’t hold much against her in that regard. Hell, I wrote shitty fanfiction when I was fifteen. However, if you are willing to publish your work online and even sell it, you are going to have to expect criticisms and reviews.  The Characters: Naomi Jansen - The main female lead, Neesha Nickleson’s original character. Jeff Woods - The main male lead, based heavily on if not is completely a mirror of the Creepypasta, Jeff the Killer. Liu Woods- Jeff’s brother, both in the story and in the world of Creepypasta. Based off of or mirrors the character of Liu Woods. Mallory - Naomi’s bully.  Randy - As per Nickleson’s descriptions, the “average-sized” skater boy. He’s the boss of Troy and Keith. Troy - the “fat” skater boy and can apparently run very fast. Keith - the “skinny” skater boy Plot Summary and Breakdown: Considering that the book is only 76 pages, there’s not much plot to it, but there is a plot. The entire book follows Jeff and Naomi around, from their first encounter at a summer camp to the ‘first day of school’ and finally to the moment when both of them snap and kill their families. It’s a fairly simple and straightforward plotline, which works to the advantage of the story at some points. At other points, however, the rapid pacing of the book can be incredibly confusing and makes little to no sense. There are a lot of logical gaps throughout the story that can leave a reader confused or holding their head in their hands, which I will go into as we delve into the storyline itself. Nickleson also has a tendency to flip between Jeff and Naomi’s perspective throughout the chapters, which is a problem within itself. Thankfully she does label in big and completely capitalized letters when she is switching perspectives, which makes it easier to follow along.  There can be a few problems with jumping perspectives in the middle of chapters because we lose connection with the character who was just narrating at times, though it can certainly help the book from becoming repetitive when you want to repeat a scene from a different perspective. In this case, however, it would have been best to completely write the book from third-person rather than jumping between first-person perspectives. First-person can work incredibly well for emotional impact and drawing the reader in, however, in my opinion, it is still possible to do that in a third-person perspective. Perhaps an author wouldn’t be able to do it as well, but in the case of Insanity: Jeff the Killer It would have worked just fine. We start off the book from Naomi’s perspective as her mom is dropping her off at Summer Camp. She is dropped off at a Summer Camp every single year, though this is the first year that she’s seen Jeff, so we could make the fairly logical guess that Jeff is new in town. Namoi’s first opinion of Jeff is that he’s a ‘weirdo’ for wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer. I honestly can’t blame Jeff for wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer because I do the exact same thing. Admittedly, the hoodie I wear in the middle of summer is a lightweight one, but I do. If I could go all year without ever having to stop wearing my jackets I would be so content (So, let’s stop global warming pls. It’s getting harder to wear jackets in the middle of summer. This is a terrible reason for wanting to stop global warming, but any reason to stop it is decent enough in my opinion). We don’t really get Jeff’s first impression of Naomi, but he does follow her and sit next to her to introduce himself because I guess she gave him a weird look. This is when we meet Mallory, who somehow already knows Jeff despite the fact that I thought he was new in town.  Mallory is a little asshole, ‘nuff said.  Just kidding, I have more to say. Mallory calls Jeff her “future husband Jeffy”. She also absolutely adores the color pink which we find out because she’s covered head-to-toe in pink. We also know that Mallory is Naomi’s longterm bully from the back summary, yet, she already knows who Jeff is despite the fact that I’m fairly certain that Jeff moved in. This was a little confusing for me, but I decided to just take it as a sign that Mallory had met Jeff when he arrived at camp and she decided right then and there that he would be her husband. It’s not entirely unreasonable for a teenage girl to say that about a boy that she finds attractive, right? I mean none of my friends ever said that about anyone that they found attractive, but it’s something that I’ve heard about happening. Mostly in movies, but I’m sure it happens elsewhere.  I think.  Maybe.  Anyways, Mallory basically attacks Naomi with a fucking pink and sparkly knife that her mom gave her. She cuts up Naomi’s arms, legs, back, and waist to prove that she’s better than her. This is where we learn that Mallory is a psychotic fucking bitch, and this is where Mallory kisses her life away. Naomi doesn’t tell anyone who could do something about it that Mallory did this to her and instead just fixes herself up. She does meet up with Jeff a little bit later and shows him what Mallory did, he feels bad about it because he just watched before passing out (I think).  A little later on Naomi goes to bed and has a dream about Jeff killing Mallory, we move on to the next chapter and SURPRISE Jeff killed Mallory and her entire cabin. Here’s where the first logical fail comes in; Rather than keeping everyone in the camp to be interviewed by the police or to keep the potential killer from running away, as soon as it is found out that Mallory and her entire cabin were brutally murdered, the camp decides to send them home early. From what I can gather, there’s a little voice in Jeff’s head that tells him to commit these violent acts, though it really only crops up when someone has hurt Naomi. This seems a little ridiculous to me considering that he literally just met her and as far as the book goes, it doesn’t seem like he had these violent tendencies before he knew her. However, Jeff doesn’t want her to find out that he was the murderer so when Naomi’s mom is giving them a ride home, he tries to hide the fact that there’s very clearly a bloodstain on the pocket of his white hoodie by saying that it’s spilled kool-aid. The bloodstain came from the knife he used to kill Mallory, which as far as I could figure out, isn’t a small knife. How Jeff got away with this, I will never ever know, nor do I think I could ever hope to know. Naomi excuses this and accepts it without question because she believes that Jeff is too sweet to have committed a brutal mass murder. I don’t know if this is naive or endearing that Naomi already seems to be falling for Jeff, though this is mostly from my own inference rather than any emotion that has been implied.  Emotion tends to be another problem throughout the book. There’s no emotion in it. The characters seem to be cold and blank slates, even when facing some pretty anxiety and adrenaline-inducing situations. Even when they’re potentially facing death, we don’t get much emotion out of it, and in this regard, the book tends to be pretty disappointing. The way that the plot is laid out, emotion is incredibly important to the story and so are their thoughts and opinions because it is supposed to be a total spiral into madness. When Jeff and Naomi both snap and lose their sanity, we don’t see that spiral, it’s sudden and jarring. There was no slow spiral or thoughts that circled down the drain faster and faster until both of them gave in. A little bit of that is implied with Jeff, which I’ll talk about later on, but the reader doesn’t get any of that from Naomi, making her sudden transition to insanity abrupt and with no foreshadowing other than it being blatantly stated on the back of the book.  However, I digress. Moving back onto the plot, we meet Liu when Jeff is dropped off at his own house. I assume Liu is around the same age as Jeff, though I’m not entirely sure on that point. This is were another logical fail comes in; Despite having been told only pages before that they were being sent home early from camp, apparently, the first day of school is tomorrow.  The rapid pacing of the book created this failure of logic and made me pause for a second to question just what I was reading. It only took a few seconds to remind myself that this was a book written by a fifteen-year-old and originally was posted as a fanfiction. Of course, that’s not to say that all fanfictions are bad, there are some absolutely amazing ones out there, but I do have yet to find one written by a fifteen-year-old that doesn’t have some error in logic. Nickleson just so happens to have more than a few errors, especially towards the end of the book.  Before the first day of school however, Jeff texts Naomi and tells her to go watch the news. So, she heads downstairs and turns it on. It’s a live report of Mallory’s mother accusing Naomi of killing Mallory. And, as it would turn out, they’re right out front of Naomi’s house as well which is rather convenient because they want to interrogate her on live TV and ask if she killed Mallory and why. Because, you know, having someone interrogated by the news rather than having the police interrogate them always goes well. Naomi exposes the cuts that Mallory gave her and essentially just calls Mallory a horrible person. There was no questioning here, the news reporter just accepting it without a single word and declaring Mallory a horrible person. Ultimately this whole episode and everything that Mallory has done is inconsequential to the rest of the book and everything is pointless.  I’m dragging on the longer side here, so I’ll try to speed things up so my review doesn’t end up as long as the actual book is. The first day of school comes and Jeff and Liu are waiting at the bus stop with Naomi. We meet the three skater boys here, Randy, Tony, and Keith. We realize that Jeff and Liu really are new to town because Randy tells them that the new kids have to pay a bus fee because they’re new. Rather than paying it though, they decide to fight. Jeff stabs Keith in the legs and the arms though this never really matters because Keith is fine. Jeff and Liu run to their house and Naomi runs to hers. A short while later Naomi shows up at Jeff’s house and claims to have knocked out the three boys with a metal baseball bat, though right after she did Randy somehow cut open her arm. Blah, blah, blah, they watch a movie, eat some pizza, and then Jeff makes his love confession to her by kissing her. Naomi reciprocates the love and BOOM I guess they’re dating now, how lovely.  Despite the fact that this is supposedly the first day of school nobody is questioning just why they’re playing hooky from school and just accept the fact that they’re not at school. A little while later they go back to Naomi’s house and we learn that Naomi’s mom was home the entire time. So why she didn’t go to her mom for help is beyond me. Naomi shoots at Randy with a bb gun and they all run off after coming after her and Jeff again. She then goes back to Jeff’s house with him for reasons even I don’t get because it seems like they’re just jumping between houses at this point. Liu gets arrested here after saying that he was the one who beat up the three boys, covering for Jeff. Jeff is upset about it and for some reason, Naomi is as well because she thinks that she could have had proof to stop them from arresting Liu despite the fact that she said only moments before that he’ll spend two days in jail at most. Liu doesn’t get a trial for this whole thing, which only makes it more confusing why he’s spending a few days at a Juvenal Detention Facility.  Related story time: When I was 12 I got into a big fight with some of the kids, enough so that the cops were involved. It was mostly just some throwing of hands and the boys shouting “punch her in the boob.” It happened because one of them, threatened to grope my 8-year-old sister, and as the big sister of the family, I couldn’t let that happen. I called him an idiot and we got into a fight. Nobody was arrested, nobody got into trouble with the police, just with their parents. There were a few bruises and a couple days later at school, the boy came up and apologized to me.  Look, I know Keith got stabbed in Jeff’s fight, but honestly, it’s never mentioned again and Keith runs like he didn’t get stabbed at all and acts like he didn’t ever get stabbed so I honestly don’t know if Nickleson remembers that Jeff stabbed Keith. As such, I think it’s a little ridiculous that Liu, a child, was arrested, and sent to Juvie without trial, for a fight when the three skater boys weren’t arrested either.  Moving along from that whole mess, Jeff and Naomi go to an 8-year-old’s birthday party because Jeff was invited by the kid’s mother after Jeff and his family moved into the neighborhood, and Naomi babysat the kid. Randy and Co. show up to the party and Naomi send all the children inside. The Co. have guns and are aiming them at the adults so they don’t try to interfere. Randy lunges at Jeff and Jeff fucking murders him. Keith obviously is upset by this and breaks a bottle of vodka over Jeff’s head after dropping his gun. I don’t know why he had a bottle of vodka or where he got it, but he has one. He then chases Jeff upstairs and to the bathroom and another fight breaks out. A bottle of bleach from a bathroom shelf falls onto Jeff and douses him in bleach. Keith points out that Jeff is now covered in bleach and vodka and proceeds to light him on fire. Bitch what the  f u c k.  I will admit, I do think that this is a creative solution as to why Jeff has bleached skin and does follow along well enough with the actual story of Jeff the Killer, so I am inclined to believe that Nickleson either did a bit of light research into his story or had some prior knowledge about it. This is one thing that I will give the book kudos on.  Jeff wakes up at the hospital, after the bandages are removed he finds out that his skin is bleached and he says that he loves it. Naomi apparently loves it as well and nobody in his family concerned in the slightest that Jeff loves it. We find out that Keith was caught though Tony managed to evade the police because as the reader learns earlier in the book, despite being larger in size, Tony can run like the fucking wind. This becomes a problem later on in the book because Tony comes back and shoots Naomi. Yes, Tony shoots Naomi despite insisting much earlier on that she wasn’t part of the dispute, only Jeff was. Jeff hears the gunshot and grabs the biggest knife he can find and from what I can tell, he murders Tony as well. There’s a little bit of a typo in this section, as instead of saying that Jeff murdered Tony, Nickleson says that Jeff murdered Keith. This threw me off a little bit before I realized that it was a typo. Jeff goes to the hospital though in the ambulance that Naomi’s mother called when she heard the gunshot. Because when you hear a gunshot, your first instinct is to call an ambulance and not go see what happened to see if everyone is fine first. This is really the first bit of emotion we see in the book because Jeff is pacing back and forth so much that Liu, who is out of juvie at this point, points out that Jeff is going to wear a hole into the floor. Turns out, Naomi is fine because the bullets missed her brain and her heart by a millimeter. Now I’m not a doctor, but I’m at least 80% sure that could still kill you. Not only would a bullet near the brain shatter the skull and cause hemorrhaging from the distance it was, but it would screw a lot up. The impact of a bullet that close to your heart would probably still do a lot of damage as well, and yet, Naomi is released from the hospital that night. I’m more than certain that the doctors would have kept her for observation, but I suppose not.  Before Naomi gets shot, we do get a decently sweet scene of Jeff dancing with Naomi, fulfilling a daydream she had of herself and Jeff dancing to a song called Fallen Angel. The artist of the song is never stated but apparently, it’s really good music for dancing and is appropriate enough for Naomi to daydream of herself and Jeff dancing to it in a ballroom. If anyone would care to fill me in on what song it could be, it would be much appreciated. The scene is short-lived though and doesn’t have as much emotion put into it as I would have liked. I think that it could be a beautifully sweet scene, though it isn’t. It isn’t a beautifully sweet scene simply because Nickleson doesn’t write descriptively enough to fill us in on what the characters are feeling. She tells us what they are feeling occasionally, but even then, it’s only on occasion and a story like this could greatly benefit from having emotions tied into it.  After Naomi gets shot and released from the hospital Jeff snaps. He can’t see how beautiful he is when his eyes are closed and when he’s sleeping, so he goes and burns off his eyelids and cuts his cheeks so he’s always smiling (as per the actual story of Jeff the Killer). He then murders his parents and stabs Liu. I’m not sure if Liu actually dies or not as in his story, he survives though Jeff cuts a smile into his face rather than just stabbing him. Jeff then goes over to Naomi’s house, potentially to kill her and her parents, I’m not sure. He finds Naomi playing the piano and when she turns to him, she has “a cut along both of her eyes and a heart carved into her cheek.” I assume that she has a line cut over the top and bottom of her eye, rather than on her eyes because holy fuck that would be intense. But she reassures Jeff that she finds him beautiful still and shows him that she murdered her parents too. Jeff and Naomi go missing after this and are only seen again when they show up at an interview with a ten-year-old boy whose parents they murdered. They had nearly killed him though they didn’t get the chance, so they decide to take action and killed him and the interviewer in the middle of the interview. Jeff and Naomi then make a promise to come and kill everyone else.  In the epilogue of the book, they show up to Slender Mansion, where they are warmly greeted by our friend, Slenderman whose movie in 2019 holds many nostalgic feelings for me but also sucked ass. If you don’t know what the Slender Mansion is, you can read about it here. It introduces you to what it is and is essentially just a giant rant about why it shouldn’t exist because it basically tells the canon of the creepypasta universe to fuck off as it does what it wants. It’s rather amusing, actually. Rating: 4/10 Ending Thoughts:  Overall, it was an enjoyable read when you didn’t think about it too much. It brought me back to my days of loving Creepypasta and everything to do with it. It was an endearing fanfiction to read, even if not written amazingly well. It was still better than Empress Theresa and was a much-needed break from that shit show of a book. I also want book two Neesha. You said you had book two and it was better than this one. Where is book two, Neesha?  I don’t know what I’m going to post next because I am genuinely dreading reading the next portion of Empress Theresa. It will probably take me longer to get through it as I want to do a couple of chapters in one go. Up next I’ll probably ready a book called The Rose Council, written by a man I absolutely despise. I’ll explain more in that post when I get around to doing it. Or perhaps, I’ll write a review on an actually good book for once. 

[crowmero]

Otome Tag Game

Borrowed from @amrryga (pardon my audacity)

1- Which otome game is your fav?

Wizardess Heart, I started playing since I grew up bored of waiting for new episodes from MCL and I didn’t think I would like it this much!!! 

2- Which otome did you start playing but stopped and why?

Eldarya, too many reasons to list in all what happened in four years, but is that game with soo much potential and I was waiting for things getting interesting, knowing more places, more magical creatures and to get real substance not just filler episodes and well... at the end my friends and I were mostly playing for the closet and events and not for the story anymore (I get stuck around episode 16). Then got my account suspended and my BFF too soo what’s the point? All really get worse from there and I’m still surprised that people keep supporting the game after all the shit show. We just move on to other games where we feel more satisfied and my money more worthy of spend of.

3- The otome you spent the most on?

Wizardess Heart, seconded by Midnight Cinderella.

4- Why do you like otome games?

For comfort. Also I get bored really easy so is a good place to escape when I have ten minutes to kill. 

5- Your favorite arc

"The Spring of Unicorns” from Wizardess Heart, was the first arc I played from that game (I guess is my fav since I already almost get all the endings from the three routes haha). The story was really interesting and is the one I remember the most and also features Klaus, Randy and Azusa who are three of the most popular/mysterious guys of the game.

6- Your least favorite arc

Y’all remember... in Eldarya when we have to go back and forth from Balenvia like... who knows how many times try to save the day just so people still die? YIKES!

7- Favorite side character

Morgan and Chani (MCL)

Amelia, Augustus and Scarlett (Wizardess Heart)

Headmaster Randolph and Professor Schuyler deserve a spot here <3

8- Favorite LI based on design

Finn (Blood in Roses) He’s design is incredible!

Ioannis (Blood in Roses) When you’re beautiful with a square personality.

Spade (Blood in Roses) Our favorite cat boy <3

Bridget (Blood in Roses) She looks terrific in season 2 <3

Azusa Kuze (Wizardess Heart) The very reason I pick him.

Leon (Wizardess Heart) He is so beautiful like a porcelain doll.

Guy Brighton (Wizardess Heart) I love his kitty smile <3

Hugo Peers (Wizardess Heart) Like Leon but with a upgrade!

9- Favorite LI based on personality

Sigurd Curtis (Wizardess Heart) The most underrated character of this game, I would never get bored with him on my side <3

Klaus Goldstein (Wizardess Heart) He is an asshole and I love him <3

Randy (Wizardess Heart) A sunshine <3

Daniel (Blood in Roses) He’s like a puppy, he is really sweet.

Sascha (Blood in Roses) He totally was winning my heart <3

Skeletiano (The Niflheim) THE BEST SKELETON OF THE WORLD <3

Priya (MCL) My wife <3

Lysandro (MCL) One of the best boys <3

There is like soo many (?)

10- Favorite MC based on design

I think Isabella from “The Niflheim” 

11- Favorite MC based on personality

Liz Hart (Wizardess Heart) honestly she grew on me. I like her the most when the night class arc comes because she matured A TON, but still when she was a really dumbass clumsy wizardess, she have soo many good things and she always stays true to herself and she only becomes better. I think because she have a really specific and defined personality is very easy to see her as a fully developed character and not a empty shell to self insert on her.

Hunter MC (Blood In Roses) Like she is really smart and fully capable of survive and defend herself that sometimes I DON’T GET WHY PEOPLE HATE HER! (Is because all the pinky on her design?) but the fact that she don’t need to depend much on others and that she can fight is what I like of her.

“Alice”  (Lost Alice) Is my friends fault that I know her and  honestly... she is great? She is also very independent and instead of whining, she is totally capable of look and stand for herself, she is osom <3

12- Most despised character

I would say... Azusa Kuze (Wizardess Heart) for obvious reasons (?) is not like I hate him that much, like I need to write about him to make justice on him, but he comes as really awful in his main route and I really was having a terrible time playing it.

If I have to pick another one... Cerim Leiado (Wizardess Heart) in his main route too. I don’t even understand how I manage to get the happy and normal ending, but in my time playing him I just wanted to run in the arms of good boi Guy <3. Cerim was really moody... and his reactions feel like really out of proportion (like asking you your fav food makes you this mad? for real?) and also he slammed MC against a wall... so YIKES!

13- Which character looks like you?

I don’t think any character looks like me hahaha. The character I relate on personality the most is Klaus Goldstein (Wizardess Heart) so looks like I’m an asshole lol but I think is the very reason why I like him so much, because I can relate to him and I understand him, so looks like I’m very clumsy showing my emotions but I also really care so much about people.

14- Who could you date IRL?

ALBERT BURCKHARDT  FROM MIDNIGHT CINDERELLA <3

 EVERYONE GO HOME!!!

But Also I would love to date Sigurd or Klaus :P

15- Favorite illustration

This is really hard? I would pick three from my favorite boi Klaus because he was the very first character I liked from Wizardess and what I got to feel with those Illustrations haven’t changed at all:

Like this picture get me so flustered the first time! OMG! The audacity!

The most sweetest picture ever from this two <3

This should be my favorite event picture from him because the quality looks exceptional and Klaus just looks gorgeous and god knows his face has passed for many hands!

I’ll tag everyone who plays otome games so you’re welcome!

[completeandrandomshit]

Linda Ronstadt Has Found Another Voice

The singer on living with Parkinson’s, the perils of stardom, and mourning what the border has become.

It’s been ten years since Linda Ronstadt, once the most highly paid woman in rock and roll, sang her last concert. In 2013, the world found out why: Parkinson’s disease had rendered her unable to sing, ending a musical career that had left an indelible mark on the classic-rock era and earned her ten Grammy Awards. Ronstadt’s earth-shaking voice and spunky stage presence jolted her to fame in the late sixties, and her renditions of “Different Drum” (with her early group, the Stone Poneys), “You’re No Good” (from her breakthrough album, “Heart Like a Wheel”), “Blue Bayou,” and “Desperado” helped define the California folk-rock sound. Along the way, two of her backup musicians left to form the Eagles.

But Ronstadt, now seventy-three, didn’t rest on her greatest hits, experimenting instead with a dizzying range of genres. In the eighties, she starred in Gilbert and Sullivan’s “The Pirates of Penzance” on Broadway, recorded a standards album with the veteran arranger Nelson Riddle, and released “Canciones de Mi Padre,” a collection of traditional Mexican songs, which became the best-selling non-English-language album in American history. The record also returned Ronstadt to her roots. Her grandfather was a Mexican bandleader, and her father had serenaded her mother with Mexican folk songs in a beautiful baritone. She grew up in Tucson, Arizona, close to the border—a place that has since become a political flashpoint.

A new documentary, “Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice,” directed by Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman and opening September 6th, looks back on Ronstadt’s adventurous career. She spoke with The New Yorker twice by phone from her home in San Francisco. Our conversations have been edited and condensed.

What is your day-to-day life like these days?

Well, I lie down a lot, because I’m disabled. I do a lot of reading, but I’m starting to have trouble with my eyes, so that’s kind of a problem. It’s called getting old.

What are you reading right now?

I’m reading Thomas Mann, “The Magic Mountain.” I somehow got to be this age without having read Thomas Mann, and I’m trying to make up for it. I read “Buddenbrooks,” and I fell in love with his writing. His books are nice and long, so it takes a couple of days to get through them.

Who do you spend most of your time with?

My son lives here. My daughter comes over. I have really nice friends; they come over and hang out with me. It’s hard for me to get out. It’s hard for me to sit in a restaurant or sit up in a chair. It’s hard for me to stand around, so if there’s a situation where I’m liable to be caught in a doorway talking to somebody for five minutes, I tend to avoid that.

What kind of music do you listen to?

I love opera. It’s so terrible—I listen to it on YouTube. I’m an audiophile, but I’ve just gotten used to the convenience of being able to hear twenty-nine different performances of one role. I listen to other music, too. I found this Korean band that I thought was sort of interesting on Tiny Desk concerts, the NPR series. They get musicians to come in and play live in a really tiny little space behind a desk. It’s no show biz, just music. They have great stuff. They had Randy Newman. Natalia Lafourcade, who’s a Mexican artist that I love particularly. Whatever’s new. The Korean band I saw was called SsingSsing.

Is it like K-pop?

No, it’s based on Korean traditional singing. It was kind of like David Bowie bass and drums, and then this really wild South Korean traditional singing. It’s polytonal. It’s a different skill than we use, with more notes in it. And a lot of gender-crossing. It looked like I was seeing the future.

When you sing in your mind, what do you hear?

I can hear the song. I can hear what I would be doing with it. I can hear the accompaniment. Sometimes I don’t remember the words, so I have to look them up. It’s not usually my songs I’m singing. I don’t listen to my own stuff very much.

           I listen to Mexican radio—the local Banda station out of San Jose. I mostly listen to NPR. I don’t listen to mainstream radio anymore. I don’t know the acts and I don’t know the music. It doesn’t interest me, particularly. There are some good modern people. I like Sia. She’s a very original singer.

How do you cope with the frustration of not being able to do everything you want to do?

I’ve just accepted it. There’s absolutely nothing I can do. I have a form of Parkinsonism that doesn’t respond to standard Parkinson’s meds, so there’s no treatment for what I have. It’s called P.S.P.—Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. I just have to stay home a lot. The main attraction in San Francisco is the opera and the symphony, and I make an effort and go out, but I can only do it a few times a year. It makes me sick that I’m ever not in my seat when Michael Tilson Thomas raises his baton, because he’s such a good conductor, and I miss hearing orchestral music. My friends come over and play music, and that’s where I like it best, anyway: in the living room.

As you tell it, the first symptoms you noticed before you knew you had Parkinson’s were in your singing voice.

Yeah. I’d start to do something and it would start to take the note and then it would stop. What you can’t do with Parkinsonism is repetitive motions, and singing is a repetitive motion.

You broke onto the scene with such a powerhouse voice. What did it feel like, singing with that voice?

Well, I was trying to figure out how to sing! And trying to be heard over the electric instruments. I had no idea that I sang as loud as I did. I always thought I wasn’t singing loud enough, because in the early days there were no monitors. You couldn’t hear yourself.

In the documentary, you talk about growing up in Tucson, Arizona, and how culturally rich that was. How do the current politics around the border resonate with you?

They’re devastating. I feel filled with impotent rage. I grew up in the Sonoran Desert, and the Sonoran Desert is on both sides of the border. There’s a fence that runs through it now, but it’s still the same culture. The same food, the same clothes, the same traditional life of ranching and farming. I go down there a lot, and it’s so hard to get back across the border. It’s ridiculous. It used to be that you could go across the border and have lunch and visit friends and shop in the little shops there. There was a beautiful department store in the fifties and sixties. My parents had friends on both sides of the border. They were friends with the ranchers, and we went to all their parties and their baptisms and their weddings and their balls.

And now that’s gone. The stores are wiped out because they don’t get any trade from the United States anymore. There’s concertina wire on the Mexican side that the Americans put up. Animals are getting trapped in there. Children are getting cut on it. It’s completely unnecessary. In the meantime, you see people serenely skateboarding and girls with their rollerskates, kids playing in the park. And you think, We’re afraid of this? They’re just regular kids!

I spent time out in the desert when I was still healthy, working with a group of Samaritans who go to find people that are lost. You run into the Minute Men or the Border Patrol every five seconds. The border is fully militarized. You meet some guy stumbling through the desert trying to cross, and he’s dehydrated, his feet are full of thorns, cactus, then you see this Minute Man sitting with his cooler, with all of his water and food and beer, and his automatic weapon sitting on his lap, wearing full camouflage. It’s so cruel. People are coming to work. They’re coming to have a better life. You have to be pretty desperate to want to cross that desert.

You were talking about this back in 2013, when your memoir came out, before it became such a national wedge issue. Were people not paying enough attention before?

Well, they didn’t live close to the border. They’d just go back to chewing their cud about it. It wasn’t their problem. I lived at the border then. I lived in Tucson for ten years. I saw what was going on. Putting children in jail—that’s not new. That was going on in the Bush Administration. Barack Obama tried to get immigration reform and Congress wouldn’t allow it. So people have been caught in this web of suffering, dying in the desert. They’re incredibly brave and resourceful, the people who make it. A C.E.O. of a big company once told me—when I said, “What do you look for in hiring practices?”—she said, “I look for someone who’s dealt with a lot of adversity, because they usually make a good business person.” And I thought, You should hire every immigrant who comes across the border.

Why did you decide to move to San Francisco from Tucson?

My children were coming home repeating homophobic remarks they heard at school. And they’d also heard other things, like, “If you don’t go to church, you’re going to go to Hell.” I thought, You know, I don’t need that. So I moved back to San Francisco. I wanted them to have a sense of what a community was like where you could walk to school, walk to the market. More of an urban-village experience. In Tucson, I was driving in the car for forty-five minutes to get them to school and then forty-five minutes to get them back, in a hot car. I didn’t want that life for them.

I can tell that you have a real sense of mourning over what the border used to be.

People don’t realize that there’s Mexican, there’s American, and then there’s Mexican-American. They’re three different cultures, and they all influence eachother. And they all influence our culture profoundly. The cowboy suit that Roy Rogers would wear, with the yoke shirt and the pearl buttons and the bell-bottom frontier pants and the cowboy hat—those are all Mexican. We imported it. We eat burritos and tacos, and our music is influenced a lot by Mexican music. It goes back and forth across the border all the time.

How did growing up in that hybrid Mexican-American culture shape you as a musician?

I listened to a lot of Mexican music on the radio, and my dad had a really great collection of traditional Mexican music. It made it hard for me when I went to sing American pop music, because rock and roll is based on black church rhythms, and I wasn’t exposed to that as a kid. I could only sing what I’d heard. What I’d heard was Mexican music, Billie Holiday, and my brother singing boy soprano.

So what drew you to folk rock in the sixties?

I loved popular folk music like Peter, Paul and Mary. I loved the real traditional stuff, like the Carter family. I loved Bob Dylan. And I tried to copy what I could. When I heard the Byrds doing folk rock, I thought that was what I wanted to do.

How did your recording of “Different Drum” with the Stone Poneys in 1967 come about?

It was a song I found on a Greenbriar Boys record, and I thought it was a strong piece of material. I just liked the song. We worked it up as a kind of shuffle—it wasn’t very good with the guys playing guitar and mandolin. But the record company recognized that the song was strong, too, so they had me come back and record it with their musicians and their arrangement. And I was pretty shocked. I didn’t know how to sing it with that arrangement. But it turned out to be a hit.

Do you remember hearing it on the radio for the first time?

Yeah. We were on our way to a meeting at Capitol Records, in an old Dodge or something, and I was jammed in the back with our guitars. Then the engine froze, and the car made this horrible metal-on-metal shriek. We had to push it to the nearest gas station, half a block away. The man was looking at the car saying it’ll never run again, and we were saying, “What will we ever do in Los Angeles with no car?” And from the radio playing in the back of the garage we could hear the opening of “Different Drum.” We heard which radio station it was on, KRLA, so I knew it was a hit, if they played it on the L.A. stations.

What are your memories of the Troubadour, in West Hollywood?

That’s where you went to hang out. We would go to hear the local act that was playing, or there’d be someone like Hoyt Axton or Oscar Brown, Jr., or Odetta. Nobody was anything particular at the time. We were all aspiring musicians. The Dillards were there. The Byrds hung out there. And then it started to be people like Joni Mitchell, James Taylor. Carole King would play there. When Joni Mitchell played, she played two weeks. I think I saw every single night.

In your book, you talk about being with Janis Joplin there and trying to figure out what to wear onstage.

Oh, I never could figure out what to wear. I grew up wearing Levi’s and a T-shirt or a sweater and cowboy boots or sneakers. And that’s what I left home with, and that’s what I wound up with. In the summer we’d cut the legs off the Levi’s and they were Levi’s shorts. When I got my Cub Scout outfit, that was a real change for me.

You say that you and Janis Joplin couldn’t figure out how to fit in—you didn’t know whether to be earth mothers or whatever.

We didn’t know whether we were supposed to cook and sew and embroider. Roles were being redefined. There were a lot of earth-mama hippie girls who knew how to do that stuff.

There’s a clip in the documentary of you being interviewed in 1977, and you talk about how rock-and-roll stars become alienated and are surrounded by managers who are willing to indulge them, and that’s how people wind up with drug problems.

They got involved with drugs because they felt isolated. Stardom is isolating. There are a whole bunch of people that you’re hanging out with who are trying to become musicians. And some were chosen and some were not, and it becomes a difficult relationship with the people who weren’t chosen. Sometimes they’re resentful, sometimes you feel uncomfortable. It’s like Emmylou Harris has in a song: “Pieces of the sky were falling in your neighbor’s yard but not on you.” The adulation made people feel disconnected. I also think that some people’s brain chemistry is more vulnerable to addiction. I was lucky. Mine was not.

David Geffen says that you had an issue with diet pills.

I had no issue with that. I just took them when I needed them. I didn’t like it. If I ate, I’d have to take a diet pill. It wasn’t something I did for pleasure.

There’s been a lot of looking back this year at the summer of 1969, with these big anniversaries of the moon landing and Woodstock and the Manson murders. What do you remember about that summer?

When Woodstock happened, I was in New York. I remember getting all the reports from people like Henry Diltz and Crosby, Stills & Nash. They’d come back with stories of everybody being in the mud. It sounded like a good thing to have survived, but I’m glad I didn’t go up there. Overflowing toilets and no food is not my idea of a fun time. I was playing some club—probably the Bitter End.

When the Manson family came through, they managed to murder my next-door neighbor, Gary Hinman. I was lucky I wasn’t home that night—they may have come for me. We knew those girls, Linda Kasabian and maybe Leslie Van Houten, too. I lived in Topanga Canyon at the time, and they would hitchhike, and they would talk about this guy Charlie at the Spahn Ranch. But I didn’t know him personally. We knew it was kind of a bad scene. But, when we found out how bad of a scene it was, we were horrified.

People must have been really scared before they were captured.

Oh, everybody was freaked out. We weren’t sure at the time whether the Gary Hinman murder was connected to the other murders, but we found out soon enough.

The music of that era was so intertwined with politics. How do you feel that compares with popular music these days? Is music addressing political upheaval?

Oh, I think so. Especially hip-hop. But I wish there was a little bit more political activism. I’m waiting for the Reichstag to burn down, you know? Because I was interested in the Weimar Republic, I’ve always been aware that culture can be overwhelmed and subverted in a very short time. All of German intellectual history—Goethe and Beethoven—was subverted by the Nazis. It happened in a thirty-year span and brought German culture to its knees. And it’s happening here. There’s a real conspiracy of international fascism that wants to defeat democracy. They want all the power for themselves, and I think that suits Donald Trump right now. He’d like to be a dictator.

In going through your history, I’ve noticed you’ve been selectively outspoken. There’s an interview from 1983 where a talk-show host in Australia asks you about deciding to perform in South Africa under apartheid, and you give this speech about how if you didn’t play anywhere with racism you wouldn’t be able to play in the American South or Boston. You also take shots at Ronald Reagan and Rupert Murdoch. As a popular performer, was there a cost to speaking out?

I never talked onstage for about fifteen years. But there were certain causes that we as a musical community united against, and one of them was nuclear power. We did a lot of No Nukes concerts—James Taylor, me, Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt—and if it was a particular cause that I was in favor of. I did what I could to help, but I don’t think my focus was particularly political. If somebody asked, I was perfectly happy to give my opinion.

I also found a clip from 1995 where you confronted Robin Quivers, Howard Stern’s co-host, on the “Tonight Show” about her association with Stern. Do you remember what upset you so much?

Well, first of all, I never heard Howard Stern on the radio. I had no idea who he was. I didn’t have a television. I didn’t know who Robin Quivers was. But it had just been on the news that day, what he had said about—oh, the girl singer.

Selena? He said “Spanish people have the worst taste in music” and played her music with gunshots in the background.

Selena, yeah. And it just offended me. As a Mexican-American, it just offended me that he would say such a horrible thing about someone’s dead daughter. I didn’t realize that Howard Stern made a career out of making unfortunate remarks about other people. And I didn’t know what Robin Quivers was like. I didn’t know anything about it. I just went, “Hey, that really offended me.” It made me angry. I didn’t realize what kind of a hornets’ nest I’d stepped into.

Did you get any reaction from him after that?

Oh, yeah. He said horrible things about me.

Going back to your performing career, in the documentary, your former manager Peter Asher says that you would see people whispering at your concerts and imagine that they were saying, “She’s the worst singer I’ve ever heard.” Were you really that insecure?

I just didn’t feel like I could quite sing well enough. It was best when I forgot about everything and just thought about the music, but it took me a long time to get there. I didn’t want to see people that I knew in the audience. I didn’t like to see the audience, actually. I couldn’t understand why they’d come. It’s a different relationship than singers like Taylor Swift have. I think it’s a little bit healthier that they embrace their audience and sort of feel like everybody’s on the same team. We were encouraged in the sixties to think of us and them. The hippies started that whole tribal thing, and it was the straights against the hippies. It was unhealthy.

How did you overcome your self-doubt?

I’d just say, “Breathe and sing.” As long as I pulled my focus back to the music, I was fine.

Your relationship with Jerry Brown is covered in the documentary and in your book, but not your relationships with some other prominent people, like Jim Carrey and George Lucas. Is there a reason for that?

I was writing about the music. They didn’t have anything to do with my musical process.

What did Jerry Brown contribute to your musical process?

Well, he was there when Joe Papp [the founder of the Public Theatre and Shakespeare in the Park] called saying that they wanted me for “H.M.S. Pinafore.”. But Jerry [gave me the message] wrong—it was actually “The Pirates of Penzance,” which I didn’t know.

Do you keep in touch with him?

Yeah. We’re friends. We’ve always been friends. He came over last Christmas.

What do you talk about?

Water in California. He said when he retires he wants to study trees and California Indians. I gave him my tree book, “The Hidden Life of Trees.” There’s a new history of water use in California that’s fantastic. It’s called “The Dreamt Land.” It’s like John McPhee-level writing. It’s really worth it for the writing alone.

The press always made such a big deal about the fact that you never got married.

I didn’t need to get married. I’m not sure that anybody needs to get married. If they do, I’m on their side. But I never needed to get married. I had my own life.

I have to admit, I was born in the eighties and I discovered you through “The Muppet Show.” What can you tell me about working with Kermit?

I had a crush on Kermit, so it was a problem because of Miss Piggy. He was her property. But we had a really good time on that show. There’s something extraordinarily creative about puppeteers. They’re fascinating, because when they do all their acting, they can’t let it go through their own body. I think they’re just loaded with talent. I loved watching them. It was a very coöperative experience. They let me help them with the story and the songs.

What was your contribution to the story?

This crush that I had on Kermit, they developed into a little storyline where Miss Piggy and I have a confrontation.

She seems like a very formidable rival.

She was. She was nasty! She locked Kermit in a trunk.

Because you’re a singer but not a songwriter, so much of your artistic expression comes through your choice of material. How did you choose songs for “Heart Like a Wheel,” including the title song by Anna and Kate McGarrigle?

I was just ambushed by that song. I was riding with Jerry Jeff Walker in a cab, and he said, “I was at the Philadelphia Folk Festival and I heard these two girls singing—they were sisters. They sang a really good song. You should hear it.” He sang me the first verse—“Some say the heart is just like a wheel / When you bend it, you can’t mend it / But my love for you is like a sinking ship / And my heart is on that ship out in mid-ocean”—and I just thought they were the most beautiful lyrics I’d ever heard. I said, “You have to send me that song.” And I get this tape in the mail, reel to reel, with just piano and a cello and the two girls singing their beautiful harmonies. The manager I had at the time said it was too corny. Somebody said it would never be a hit. And I don’t think it was ever a radio single, but it was a huge song for me. I sang it all the way through my career.

Were you surprised by the songs from that album that became hits?

I was surprised anything of mine was successful, because it always seemed so hodge-podge. I just tried different songs that didn’t necessarily have anything to do with each other, but which expressed a real urgent feeling that I just had to express. “You’re No Good” was an afterthought. We needed to have an uptempo song to close the show with, and that was a song I knew from the radio.

What were the biggest challenges in becoming a public figure?

Not having the ability to observe other people, because people are observing you. I had to keep my head down all the time. It was kind of excruciating. I still feel that way. I don’t like to be on the spot. Also, relationships were hard, because I was always on the bus.

In an interview from 1977, you said, “I think men have generally treated me badly, and the idea of a war between the sexes is very real in our culture. In the media, women are built up with sex as a weapon and men are threatened by it as much as they are drawn to it, and they retaliate as hard as they can.” Do you remember what you were talking about?

No, I don’t! I have to say that when I look at my whole career, over all, what counted the most was whether you showed up and played the music. I saw it happen with Emmylou, and I saw it happen with Joni Mitchell. Joni Mitchell was threatening to everybody. She could play better. She could sing better. She looked better. She could just do it all. But it’s true, there was a certain amount of chauvinism.There weren’t a lot of girls in the business who were doing what I was doing, so my friendship with Emmylou Harris became so important.

Did you find that there were things that were harder for you as a woman than for your male contemporaries?

Well, I had to do makeup and hair. That’s a lot, because that’s two hours of the day that you could spend reading a book or learning a language or practicing guitar. Guys just shower and put on any old clothes. And then there were high heels. I have extra ankle bones in each foot, and high heels were agonizing. I used to wear them onstage, kick them off, hide my feet behind the monitors, and find my shoes again before I had to leave the stage.

At the height of your rock-and-roll fame, you decided to do Gilbert and Sullivan. What drew you to that?

My sister, when she was eleven and I was six, I guess, sang “H.M.S. Pinafore” in her junior high school. My mother had a book of Gilbert and Sullivan operettas on piano, and somehow I learned the songs. I heard my sister practicing them. So, when I heard of “The Pirates of Penzance,” I knew what Gilbert and Sullivan was.

Was part of you tired of being a rock star?

Part of me was very tired of it. I was singing loud in halls that didn’t sound like they were built for music. I liked the idea of a proscenium stage. I think a proscenium has a lot to do with focussing your attention. A theatre is a machine built to focus your attention and allow you to dream. You’re hypnotized, in a way, and the person onstage is your champion, is telling your story. You find emotions you didn’t realize you had.

Throughout the eighties, you experimented wildly with genre, everything from Puccini to the Great American Songbook to Mexican canciones. I’m sure your record label was surprised when you said, “I want to make an album of Mexican folk music.”

Well, before that, I wanted to do American standard songs, and they said, “No, it won’t work.” In fact, Joe Smith [the chairman of Elektra/Asylum Records] even came to my house to beg me not to do it. He said, “You’re throwing your career away.” I’d been away so long working on Broadway.

Were you worried that your fans wouldn’t go along with the standards, either?

I didn’t worry about it until after we made the record [“What’s New”] and we were opening at Radio City Music Hall. And I realized, all of a sudden, people might not show up. They really might hate it. I was ordering matzo-ball soup from the Carnegie Deli next door, and it gave me the shakes so bad that I could barely stand when I got onstage. I was holding hands with Nelson Riddle in the wings—he was nervous, too. He said, “Don’t let me down, baby.” I said, “I’ll do my best.” He was the best of those arrangers—worked with Rosemary Clooney and Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald. He wrote beautiful charts for me. I was really lucky to have him. I went back to my apartment that night and just smiled, because we had gotten away with an evening of American standard songs.

When I see something now like Lady Gaga recording a standards album with Tony Bennett, it seems like she owes you a debt.

Well, she owes me nothing. She’s got enough talent to make it on her own. But, up until then, attempts by female pop artists to go back and do standards had not been successful. And Joan Baez had tried to record in Spanish, and that didn’t work. It depends on what the audience is expecting of you. When I did Mexican songs, I brought in a whole new audience. I played the same venues, but it was grandmothers and grandchildren. People brought their kids. And the standards audience was older—they were in their fifties and sixties, which seemed impossibly old to me at the time.

Is it true that you recorded “Canciones de Mi Padre” at George Lucas’s recording studio, Skywalker Sound?

The second album, “Mas Canciones.” I chose it because they have a big scoring stage. It has good acoustics that you can tune with the wooden panels on the side. There was a lot of room ambience. Mariachi’s a folk orchestra, and it was a good orchestra sound. It’s hard to find.

You also collaborated with Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton. Do you keep in touch with them?

Emmy comes out to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass, which is a bluegrass festival here in San Francisco, so I see her about once a year. She comes over to my house. We used to sing together. Now she brings her laundry and we talk. When you’re on the road, you always have extra laundry.

Have you kept up with Dolly?

Emmy and I presented her an award recently, and I hadn’t seen her in a while. I don’t think she realized I’m as disabled as I am. She threw her arms around me, and I kept saying, “Dolly, watch out! You’re going to knock me down!” She thought I was kidding. I nearly fell down. I grabbed onto the podium that her award was on and knocked it to the ground. It was made out of glass and it broke. “Congratulations, here’s your award—smash! You get to take the pieces home.”

If you could wave a magic wand and record one more album, what would be on it?

It would be an eclectic mix. There’s a song called “I Still Have That Other Girl,” written by Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach, that I always wanted to record. And there’s a Mexican song called “Paloma Negra” I always wanted to record. I’d record all those songs that I didn’t get around to.

THANKS TO MIHCAEL SCHULMAN AND NEWYORKER.COM FOR THE ARTICLE.

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All the numbers for the music ask

Thank you so much! Anon, I love you. ❤️❤️❤️

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle—“Still Into You” by Paramore—“Low Day” by Capra (wow it’s been a while)—“All I Ask of You” from The Phantom of the Opera

2. three last songs you listened to—“Finish What You Started” by Every Avenue—“I Forgive You” by Every Avenue—“The Story Left Untold” by Every Avenue(If you couldn’t tell, I’m listening to a playlist of Every Avenue rn because I like them but don’t know much of their music very well, so it keeps me awake while I’m working on a paper without taking my focus by making me sing along)

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with—“This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman—“Phantom” by NateWantsToBattle—“Santa Fe” from Newsies (OBC lately)

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents—“Rock of Life” by Rick Springfield—“A Little Too Late” by Toby Keith—“Pass It On Down” by Alabama

5. three songs you wish you could forget (because listening to them hurts)—“Into the West” from Lord of the Rings (we sang it in chorus in high school and I looove Peter Hollens’s version, but I heard it with bad timing once and now I can’t listen to the song without crying)—“Home” by Daughtry—“Why Should I Worry” by Billy Joel (again, love it but bad timing has forever tainted it)

6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible)—“Gangnam Style”by Psy—“Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel—“Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved—“What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction—“Monster” by Skillet (the first song I ever heard by them)—“Living in Oz” by Rick Springfield

8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation—“Summer Breeze” by The Isley Brothers—“Mayberry” by Rascal Flatts—“Little Bitty” Alan Jackson

9. three songs that get you in the Christmas Mood—“This Christmas” by Elliot Yamin—“That Christmas Feeling” from the Phineas and Ferb holiday episode/album—“The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” pretty much any version

10. three favourite Halloween/spooky songs—“Lost in the Shadows” by Lou Gramm (from The Lost Boys)—“Thriller” by Michael Jackson—“The Oogie Boogie Song” from The Nightmare Before Christmas (love the song, but still can’t watch him)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrackOkay so I’m not counting musicals (including Disney movie musicals) because it would be all of them; also I’m just going with what first comes to mind because…there’s a lot—“Ain’t Got Rhythm” from Phineas and Ferb—“Moon River” from Breakfast at Tiffany’s (but Frank Sinatra’s version)—“A Single Man Tear” from Supernatural

12. three favourite songs from video games(not counting songs from Guitar Hero)—Animal Crossing theme—Sonic Heroes theme song (shut up) (I’m not in the fandom, and the song was the only part of that particular game that I really liked)—The Nintendogs Naptime record

13. three songs you want at your funeral—“Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” by the Backstreet Boys (or any BSB song)—“Home Sweet Home” by Mötley Crüe—and I guess I should have a hymn so “I’ll Fly Away” by Keith Urban or even better is Tim Lovelace’s “Away Fly I’ll” (I swear if my family plays a really old blah staticky country quartet version of a hymn that sounds like it would be on a possessed record, I will sit back up and change it myself)

14. three songs you want at your wedding—“Just Fishin’” by Trace Adkins would be my father-daughter dance—“Fine By Me” by Andy Grammer—“Forever and Ever, Amen” by Randy Travis

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to—“I Promise You” by the Backstreet Boys—“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran—“This I Swear” by Nick Lachey

16. three favourite songs for sexOkay so I haven’t had/don’t have this and I’m not encouraging it, buuuut a lot of songs are about it sooooo I’ll still answer, but if any of these are actually really awkward…oops—“Tonight I’m [Lovin’] You” by Enrique Iglesias—“Lay Your Hands on Me” by Bon Jovi—“Bésame Mucho” I like the version by Thalía and Michael Bublé

17. three songs that remind you of your crush—“Accidentally in Love” by Counting Crows—“I Won’t Say I’m in Love” from Disney’s Hercules—“If Only” from Disney’s Descendants

18. three songs that remind you of your best friendAnswering with three different friends in mind, and none of these are lyric-based but just because they like the song/band/etc.—“Dream On” by Aerosmith—“Footloose” by Kenny Loggins—“What Is This Feeling?” from Wicked

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure—“Year 3000” by the Jonas Brothers—“Take Me or Leave Me” from RENT—“Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard (it’s totally horrible but it’s so gosh darn catchy)

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this oneThough I have a guess about who sent this, you’re on anon so—“Who Can It Be Now?” by Men at Work—“Who Are You” by The Who—“As Long As You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys

21. three songs of your childhood—“Oh Where Is My Hairbrush?” from VeggieTales—“I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from The Lion King—“I’ll Be Your Everything” by Youngstown

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad—“Alone Together” by Fall Out Boy—“Renegade” by Daughtry—“Broken” by Seether feat. Amy Lee

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up—“Feel Invincible” by Skillet—“Eye On It” by tobyMac—“Determinate” from Lemonade Mouth

24. three favourite old songsHow old are we talking here?—“Fly Me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra—“Save the Last Dance for Me” by The Drifters—“Chattanooga Choo-Choo” I like the Andrews Sisters’ version

25. three favourite songs of 2017—“What Do I Know?” by Ed Sheeran—“Believer” by Imagine Dragons—“…Ready for It?” By Taylor Swift

26. three favourite non-English songs—“Bashana Haba’a” which we recently sang in choir—“Uh Oh” by Chloe Wang (aka Chloe Bennet aka Daisy Johnson/Quake)—“Dímelo” by Marc Antony

27. three songs that you sing while drunkI’ve never been drunk so I don’t know what I would sing but probably—something Broadway really off-key—something Disney—something I don’t even like

28. three best songs to get drunk or high toI’ve never done either so my guesses are—“Drink With Me” from Les Misérables—“Glad You Came” by The Wanted—“Take It Easy” by the Eagles

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)—“Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Misérables (one of the first songs that really got me interested musicals/musical theatre I think)—“Arise” by Newsong—“Here I Am” from Camp Rock

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)—“C'est La Vie” by B*Witched—“In a World Like This” by the Backstreet Boys—“Love Is Here” by Tenth Avenue North

[obeetlebeetle]

1-15 with a character you've played, 15-30 with an npc you've made ;) your choice!

Hmm for this one let’s show Mark some love!

1. How many dead parents do they have?

None! His family is alive and well.

2. How good are they at tongue twisters?

....bad. But would keep trying it until he finally got it at least once!

3. Biggest regret?

Saying goodbye to his closest friends.

4. Are they formally trained or have they gone through a more organic learning experience for their skillset?

Formally trained, but that built on an organically acquired skillset.

5. If they could hang out with one famous person in 18th century American History, who would they want to hang out with?

I know nothing about American History I don’t know who was who then to answer this.

6. What’s their theme song?

You’ve Got a Friend in Me - Randy Newman

7. What fictional character are they most like? Was this an intentional or accidental influence?

I based him off of the tactician from fe7, like backstory and build-wise, but his personality I invented. I have no idea who he’s actually similar too lol

8. Paper or plastic?

Paper.

9. What’s their dump stat?

Tbh..... he’s a fight, but, Strength. He relies on Dex weapons.

10. What’s their best stat?

Dex!

11. What is their favorite anime?

God, I don’t watch shonen, but a long ridiculous shonen about friendship and fighting by your friends’ sides and overcoming terrible odds together.

12. What’s their favorite beverage?

Coffee.

13. If they can use magic, what’s their favorite spell?

This is not a Magic Boy.

14. Most heroic thing they have ever done?

In-game, gave his party member a chance to attack a god-monster while suspended in said god-monster’s mouth. Proceeded to take 36 points of damage from that attack, because the action was to light the god-monster aflame, lighting my boy up, then falling ten feet to the ground as the creature died and released him.

15. Most despicable thing they have ever done?

APPARENTLY calling his “superior officer” by her first name :/

You know I have so many npcs......... this was horrible to choose. I went with Fela bc everyone interacts w her but I haven’t ever talked about her in detail.

15. Most despicable thing they have ever done?

Made a deal with a god she knew was evil.

16. Are they a hero or a supporting protagonist?

Supporting.......... protagonist? Who can say.

17. What’s their favorite food?

Cucumber sandwiches!

18. Would they rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?

The horses, bc she can get to high ground they wouldn’t be able to reach and could pick them off from there.

19. They have to go live on a deserted island. They can take one thing and one person. What do they take?

She takes no one but brings as many books as she can cram into one “anthology.”

20. Are they religious? If so, what god or gods do they serve?

Yeah! Passively so, I would say. Her patron god is Deneir, she loves his teachings and sees the act of reading as a way of worshipping him. 

21. How did they become an adventurer?

Her city collapsed.

22. Most amazing monster they have ever killed or helped kill?

I guess being present for the death of Shargaas counts? So a dead god living in the material plane.

23. Thoughts on death?

Excited to experience it, but not ready yet.

24. Do they have any interesting skills?

She is really crafty, and especially loves embroidery! She likes to embroider designs into the borders of her cloaks.

25. Favorite animal?

Not really animals, but dragons For Sure.

26. Expansion of civilization or the preservation of nature?

Expansion of civilization.

27. They’re at a tavern. They bump into a big burly angry drunk with a combative attitude. What happens?

She smiles, flashing those dimples, apologizes, and moves on.

28. What do they do between quests?

She likes to go to where the power is, to nestle herself into a right-hand man role, and use that to get what she really wants.

29. Biggest positive and negative influences on their life and development?

Positive -- going to the University. She was meant to take over her father’s business as a tailor, but she met books in their entirety there and found what really called to her.

Negative -- Cutter. He knew her sweet personality and hunger for knowledge would pair with his need for a liaison in the University District and recruited her in her second year there. And she found something else that really called to her.

30. Would they smooch a ghost?

Would and has, probably.

[tessatechaitea]

Black Condor #2

The Sky Pirate is definitely an incel.

I don't want to shit on incels because people who can't get laid aren't the only jerks who turn into monsters when they can't get their way. I also don't want to make it seem like not getting laid is the worst thing that can happen to a person but have you ever not gotten laid when you really, really wanted to fuck? It's the worst! Now think about not being able to get laid for thirty to forty years. Do you think you're going to give one shit about climate change?! Of course not! That's why Sky Pirate is carbon emitting all over the fucking place on the cover! Sky Pirate doesn't need Black Condor to punch him in the face; he needs him to suck his balls. On the other hand, getting laid isn't that great, I bet.

I don't know why the guy isn't coming in his pants too.

Back in 1992, we didn't have incels. We just had guys who understood they were never going to get laid so they memorized all the stats of Fiend Folio monsters no Dungeon Master would ever use, like the achaierai or the umpleby or the tween or the snyad or the twill or the tabaxi or the qullan or the mantari or the gryph. Those are actual monsters but I probably could have just made up a bunch of nonsense words and nobody would have fucking noticed. Fiend Folio had a lot of shitty monsters. You know who wouldn't know that? Somebody who was getting laid in 1992! Something else somebody getting laid in 1992 wouldn't understand? Jerking off to the caryatid column!

I had to steal this image from the Internet because I've packed away all of my D&D manuals.

We really need legalized prostitution in this country. Also, we need to remove any negative stigma for going to a prostitute. Also we need male prostitutes that are good at sex so that women don't have to hook up with random guys who are probably terrible at sex when they want to bust whatever the female version of nuts are. Inside nuts? It's got to be tough being an incel in that even if you think you might finally get the chance to get laid, you know you're going to be awful at it and probably ruin a second chance of getting laid. Because who wants to fuck a guy whose underwear looks like the aftermath of a visit from your friendly neighborhood Spider-man when you go to pull his dick out? True story (I have to preface this story that way so that people actually think it's true even though they should realize I'm an unreliable narrator): when I finally met a woman who wanted desperately to fuck me, I obviously wasn't going to be any good at sex. I had learned to jerk off quickly in the quiet moments nobody was in the house (often to the scene in Return of the Living Dead (on VHS tape) when the punk girl dances naked on the crypt). So when this lovely and accommodating woman pulled my cock out and began kissing and sucking it, I wanted to explode immediately. But I knew I couldn't do that! I had to hold out! So I held out for like ten or fifteen seconds and, in my head, I thought, "That's good enough, right?!" Then I blew my load in her face and she was all, "Whoa. Um. Hey. What the fuck?" Actually, she wanted to fuck me so badly that she didn't care that I was almost certainly going to prematurely ejaculate every time we fucked until I finally decided I wanted to spend more time replaying Ultima IV than fucking poorly. Our sex actually did get better over time (and by "our," I obviously mean "my") but that was only because I'd come in her almost immediately and then, through pure will force rivaling that of Hal Jordan himself, I would just get hard again while trying not to let my flaccid member slip out of her. Luckily she could orgasm through penetration only because just imagine how bad I was at oral sex too! Um, that wasn't really a true story! I just have a great imagination! But then, you knew that because of all the times I mentioned being a virgin. Which was totally a lie too! I've been laid lots! And I was always great at it. Black Condor's grandfather can't get over his grandson not wanting to be a part of his old man secret society so he's sending an army of "shock troopers" out to capture him.

Has nobody told him about airplanes?

I can't stop staring at the look of pure joy on the woman's face in the panel where Black Condor is rescuing the campers. I'm actually fucking jealous of a fictional character in a drawing because how the fuck does she get to be so fucking happy?! Nearly the entire first half of this issue is dedicated to the origin of The Sky Pirate. My guess that he's an incel wasn't too far off the mark. He was a nerdy college kid working in hypersonic flight who desperately wanted to be part of the free love movement. He was eventually let in on the condition that he do all the work and earn them all the money, like how Brian was only allowed to be part of The Breakfast Club if he wrote everybody else's essays while they all hooked up. In the end, he made them all rich while he was a fugitive from the government. They did the thing all of the fucking asshole Boomers did: they gave up their ideals and convictions for wealth beyond measure at the expense of everybody else. So, twenty years later, he's returned to destroy them.

So this guy's a hero! Why is Black Condor trying to stop him on the cover?!

Black Condor is a good guy so I bet he winds up teaming up with Sky Pirate after the initial Marvel misunderstanding. I'm almost positive he does because I purchased the third issue and there's no way I would have kept reading this series if my president The Sky Pirate was beaten and tossed in jail. Even as a randy twenty-one year old spending nearly every night of the week pretending I was a grey elf named Paladine Greystoke, I was completely sympathetic to the underdogs of our fucked up capitalist society. Sky Pirate plans on stealing as much money from The Merry Men (what the asshole Boomers called themselves because they're so unimaginative they had to steal Kesey's groups' name) as he can. But to do so, he needs to use his hypersonic weapons. Black Condor's new senses are so powerful that every time Sky Pirate uses one of his gadgets, Black Condor is overwhelmed by pain. That must be why he needs to beat the shit out of Sky Pirate. It's less about justice and more about getting him to shut the fuck up. I get it! I once had a neighbor who hung up industrial sized wind chimes outside my bedroom window. And every time I snuck over to take them down, the assholes would just put them back up. They're lucky I didn't go Black Condor all over their asses and swoop in with a flurry of uppercuts! Instead I just cut out off the clapper and made the chimes impotent. Black Condor shows up and asks Sky Pirate what he's doing. Sky Pirate is all, "Fuck you. I don't have to answer to you, you nipple exposing weirdo!" And then he flies off. But Black Condor won't let it drop, albeit reluctantly! He flies after him because he's a nosy jerk. Can't he just let it drop? The noise only happened the one time. I get how terrible noises can be; I'm pretty sensitive to a lot of sounds myself (fuck every guy with an acoustic guitar, by the way). But maybe wait to see if it happens again before really confronting this guy. Also, I'm sure he has a reason for blowing a hole in a building! He told Black Condor it was personal business and it's not like Black Condor has been deputized by anybody except maybe Park Ranger Ned. I'm totally on Sky Pirate's side right now! Judging by the cover of Issue #3, Sky Pirate is going to blast Black Condor with more hypersonics and Black Condor is going to plunge into the river in a scary cliffhanger where the reader thinks Black Condor may have drowned.

Okay, I'm torn. I like Sky Pirates revenge on capitalistic Boomer shitheads. But I also empathize with Black Conder's sensitivity to noise!

Since this issue is definitely going to end how I predicted since, as I said, I'm looking at the cover of Issue #3 right now where Black Condor is emerging from the river, I bet Issue #3 sees Sky Pirate and Black Condor quickly finding common ground and working together to defeat the Merry Men. Also, I hope Sky Pirate becomes an occasional Black Condor teammate. Maybe he'll take up residence with Ned and Eileen in the Pine Barrens! And then the issue ends with Black Condor plummeting into the river. But it also ends with possibly my favorite "Next Issue Blurb" of all time!

No wonder I bought issue #3! I had to see if the sun imploded! Spoiler alert: it didn't.

Black Condor #2 Rating: A-! Holy shit! A comic book with a better than average passing grade! I must really be feeling charitable seeing as how it's my 48th birthday. Yes, that's right, assholes. I'm fucking old! But I'm still cool, right? And totally sexually active, like a mythic beast! Oh, before I go, here's the back cover because, yeesh. Put on some make-up, dudes.

I loved my Grandmother with all my heart. She was possibly the most perfect human being to ever walk this planet. She was Catholic but I'm fairly certain she practiced birth control based on the differences in age of her two (only two!) children. Her wedding picture was of her in a beautiful non-wedding dress and my grandfather in a suit standing on some spiral steps at the courthouse (not a church! She also had a church wedding photograph but mostly due to the pressure of social politics and religion (I like to believe, anyway!)). She distanced herself from the Catholic church because of the way church members treated and talked terribly about Jewish people. She was the greatest. But the only time she ever disappointed me was when Gene Simmons was on Donahue and she said, "My, that's a handsome man!"

[sureuncertainty]

Sure Uncertainty: A Reference Post

So it has come to my attention that I don’t have a good reference post for my book, Sure Uncertainty, for those who don’t know what it is or what it’s about, and figured it was high time to fix that! Especially since I’ve gotten quite a few new followers lately. So here’s a bit more about my book/play, aka my big project and the main reason I created this blog in the first place. Warning this is long. 

Sure Uncertainty is a modern day retelling of the Shakespeare play, The Comedy of Errors. Plot-wise, it’s essentially the parent trap on steroids. Two sets of identical twins (with the same names!) separated at birth end up in the same high school and due to misunderstandings and mistaken identity, a heck of a lot of confusion ensues. The plot is somewhat convoluted, and while a lot of it I lifted directly from the Shakespeare play, I created my own versions of the characters (did a lot of genderbending and such) and adjusted the plot accordingly to fit it into a high school setting. A lot of it was inspired by She’s the Man, a retelling of Twelfth Night in much the same manner. 

I am also currently in the process of adapting my book back into a play (I know, a play based on a book based on a play) to hopefully direct for my senior project as a theatre major. I’m trying to get as much feedback as possible right now, so message me if you want to read it, and I might send you the link! 

As for the characters... If you want to draw them, aside from gaining my undying love, gratitude, and infinite levels of happiness, check out this reference post here for physical descriptions and color reference drawings. 

The Twins

Antony Abidelli (Antipholus of Syracuse): Transfer student from Syracuse, kind of a nerd. Loves music and spending lots of time alone. Introverted af. Very confused half the time, very rarely understands anything that’s going on. Just wants to be left alone most of the time. Loves his sister more than anything and would literally die for her in a heartbeat. Awkward af, shy af, terrible at flirting

Antony Durham (Previously Antony Duke, but I changed their name... Antipholus of Ephesus): One of the most popular guys in school, confident, charming (sorta), a total jock. On the football and basketball teams. Thinks he’s a lot greater than he is. Embarrassed of his family. Here’s a picture of him: 

Roma Abidelli: AKA Roma A. (Dromio of Syracuse, genderbent) Rebellious, or tries to be. Sarcastic af, clumsy. Was held back a grade, so she’s old for her year. She and Antony A are super close because they felt like they only really had each other since their dad is really distant. Likes rock music, tries to be punk rock, and would do anything to be cool and popular, even though she pretends she doesn’t care. Also aro/ace and very much not interested in relationships. she and Antony D get close after the events of my book, so here’s a picture of them together: 

Roma Durham (Dromio of Ephesus): Twin sister of Roma A. Goes to Ephesus, and wants to be close with her brother, but he pushes her aside a lot. Struggles with social anxiety. Very quiet and studious, takes her studies and grades Very Seriously. Gets lowkey teased a lot but no one would ever try too hard to mess with her bc they’re afraid of her brother. Kind of a teacher’s pet, terrified of many things, including heights, spiders, small spaces, airplanes, and getting in trouble of any kind. Doesn’t deserve any of the hell I put her through. Here’s an angsty picture of her: 

Other Important Characters

Gene and Emma are the twins parents, also separated in the plane crash (which is my story’s version of the shipwreck from the play) who get reunited at the end of the story. The only thing they love more than each other is their children. Gene is a very go-with-the-flow kinda guy, quiet, nerdy, also writes poetry, Emma is his entire world, he spirals into depression after the plane crash, and thus was never really around for his kids. He’s also like... literally the sweetest, purest guy you’ll ever meet. Had a very rough childhood though, and was bullied a lot in his youth so Emma is immensely protective of him. As for Emma, she’s no-nonsense, the librarian of Ephesus high school, very strict and an enforcer of the rules all the time. Kind of uptight, fiercely loyal, will actually murder anyone who lays a hand on her family. Her way of dealing with grief is just getting really really angry at everything. Has a hard time keeping her cool sometimes, and can be irrational and blunt a lot of the time. Unable to physically fight but she will destroy you with her words. Literally just don’t mess with her (or Gene, which by extension is her). Have I mentioned they’re in love???? Anyway, here’s them: 

And then there’s the love interests. Addie and Lucy Johnston (Adriana and Luciana) are sisters, and the love interests of the two Antonys, D, and A respectively. Antony D is Addie’s boyfriend. Addie’s on the cheerleading team, she’s popular, pretty, and very very dramatic. Yells a lot, can get unhinged pretty easily. Takes everything to the extreme. Lucy’s quiet and introverted, but not shy, loves to read and takes school v seriously. Has a secret badass side that rarely comes out. Both of them are super protective of each other. Lucy ends up falling for Antony A, thinking he’s Antony D, and that’s kind of one of the central conflicts of the book. They’re both like literal goddesses, like I’m in love with both of them and they’re my own ocs. Lucy’s nerdy but she never gets teased. She’s had lots of guys try and ask her out but always turns them down bc she’s looking for the right one. Here’s a pic of her and Antony A being adorable together, and then a pic of Addie below that. 

Minor Characters

Angel Brooke who you see me talk about a heck of a lot, is def one of my faves (so much so I wrote a spin-off novel about her, but that’s a story for another time). Goth, lesbian, sells handmade jewelry at unreasonable prices. Artsy and creative, and very very good at getting her way. Clever. Quiet, doesn’t talk a lot, keeps people at a distance, kind of cold. Had a traumatic childhood. Apathetic towards basically everyone.  She’s tiny but she will destroy you. After the story, she and Roma A become best friends, and she ends up with a HUGE not-so-secret crush on her... Oh and she’s based on Angelo from the play. Here she is: 

Leigh is Angel’s ex, one of those people that’s super cheerful and nice on the outside, but is pretty manipulative and not a very good person. Bisexual, never stops making puns about it (or puns at all). She’s also on the cheerleading team, and is pretty good too. The type of person to say, ‘move, I’m gay’. Here’s a pic of her: 

Randy: Roma D’s boyfriend, super shy and awkward guy that Roma A detests (which makes things difficult for him). Marie is Roma D’s other best friend, an artsy girl who’s very cheerful and optimistic. 

As for adults, there’s Principal Duke, the principal of the school. Has a not-so-secret crush on Emma the librarian, who continually rebuffs his lame attempts at flirting. Doesn’t know that she lost her husband, he thinks she’s just single. He’s way too jovial all the time, has a habit of repeating himself. Kind of an idiot. Gail is his office secretary, does all the real work around the school, knows a lot more than she lets on, and is probably the most likely of all my ocs to take over the world. 

SO TO SUM UP: 

Emma and Gene are the parents of the four twins. Antony and Roma Durham are with Emma, Antony and Roma Abidelli are with Gene. (they all meet at the end). Addie is Antony D’s girlfriend, Lucy is Antony A’s love interest. Hopefully the family dynamic makes sense. If you read or know the play it’ll probably make more sense....

So there ya go, that’s basically it!!! Sorry this post ended up so long but I figured it’d be good to have a reference all in one place. Not gonna put it under the cut bc I do want people to read it. Please please please feel free to send me lots of asks or talk to me about my characters or this project and I will literally love you forever (or better yet, DRAW my children!!!) If you like my book/ocs or whatever, please reblog so I can get more exposure. Hopefully you’ll see my book on a shelf someday and if not, you’ll see a performance of the play adaption I’m working on. And if you read all this, I literally love you already. If anything doesn’t make sense or you’re confused, send in an ask or message me and I can try and update the post for ya! THANK YOUUU!

[leaveharmony]

@yungcrybby-anonymousbosch  Consider me near rambled out :) 1.       How old were you when you first started watching?

I wish I could answer that with 100% accuracy.  I know for certain I was by 1990 (8 years old), but, if my earliest memory is correct and not a falsely-implanted one than it would have been as early as 1986 (4 or so).  Probably I was casually aware of it as a very young child and then slowly got more fanatic about it (this might have coincided with the first real meteoric rise of WWF / more available programming).

2.       What company or companies did you watch?   Early-on it was exclusively WWF, I'd say around 1998 I started occasionally tuning into WCW.

3.       What is your earliest wrestling memory?   I would swear up and and down that I remember Hogan and King Kong Bundy in the blue steel cage at Wrestlemania 2.  I used to watch wrestling with my grandfather (pop pop) at my grandparent's house, I remember they had a textured green carpet at the time and I'd lay on the floor...I swear, that I remember at least some of the extended family going there to watch WM2.  But nobody else can tell me if this actually happened.  If not, then I very clearly remember one of Jake Robert's snakes biting Randy Savage, in the ring (1991?).  I definitely remember the brief time before the Undertaker's first face turn.  And I very vaguely recall everybody being really excited when Hogan bodyslammed Andre the Giant (WM3, 1987). 4.       What attracted you to wrestling?   Mmm...I really don't know.  There's sort of a chicken and the egg aspect to it, I'm not sure I could pin down exactly why I gravitated towards anything as a child, but wrestling is even harder to figure out.  Pop pop used to get quite involved with it and we didn't really have a lot in common, so that might have been part of it.  Conversely, my parents were openly mocking about it, so, it might have also been a touch of my old tendency to be fiercely contrary.  I can def. tell you that the Texas Tornado was one of my favs because of all the fringes on his boots, and I liked the Ultimate Warrior's facepaint and all of Flair's glittery robes, and the like...so bright colours and pageantry might have had something to do with it.  And I was nuts about Miss Elizabeth in all her dated finery lol.  Big-boom 80's/early 90's WWF was certainly geared towards kids and I was right in that target audience.   5.       What is your favorite aspect of wrestling? I've always been attracted to characters more than plots, yunno?  In books or films, or series, if I like enough of the characters I'll stick with it even if the plotting is kinda terrible.  So I think it's just the personalities and people, tbh.  For a very long time I wondered if I'd ever been a -wresting fan- or just an -Undertaker fan-, a question I can now answer with the former, but, it's the wrestlers I'm fondest of that keep me involved, I think. 6.       What do you think the general public gets wrong about wrestling? “They don't really get hurt” would be my number one pet peeve misconception.  My father, for instance, would be one of those guys JR was loudly denouncing during HitC/KotR 1998 who would completely sincerely say “Yeah, but they know how to fall.” after watching a man fall 13ft through a table onto a concrete floor.  Which is why I would never watch it anywhere near him. 7.       Do you have any friends who also watch wrestling? There's you!  :D  I have more now than I used to, I was a solitary practitioner for a long time.  Now I'd say as many as five, anyway...and I've converted my mother lol. 8.       Did you eventually start watching other companies? A very limited bit of WCW (1998-the end of the company)..I would sometimes turn it over during commercial breaks in Raw/Smackdown.  I watched some TNA (whenever they got the deal w/ Spike TV -2006 or so when I couldn't stand looking at Jeff Jarrett anymore). 9.       What has kept you interested wrestling? Every single time I've stopped watching and returned, the return was because of the Undertaker.  He’d be the catalyst to the reaction which would follow... 10.   Are you interested in any other wrestling companies? Gateway-drugged by Shinsuke, I'm currently consuming as much NJPW as is possible by one single mortal human being on a linear timeline. 11.   What, if any, barriers are there to you watching other wrestling companies you’re interested in? Availability, relative ignorance and time constraints, I suppose?  It's sort of...akin to jumping into a longrunning comic series with no sense of the history of the lore.  Can be a little bit overwhelming and I think I'd have to do promotions one at a time.  It was different with NJPW and Shinsuke, because I knew at least one face and name so I had a jumping off point, and then through his matches -with- other people, came to know others as well.  I took notes! 12.   Have you ever been to a live wrestling show? Yep!  I think my first house show was in 1993? in a hockey arena in Sudbury, Ontario.  My second was in 1999 at the Skydome in Toronto.  My third was last summer at Ricoh Colliseum in Toronto, then last November I attended Takeover: Toronto and Survivor Series both at the ACC in Toronto, followed by another house show in March (Ricoh again). 13.   Have you ever been to a local wrestling company’s shows? Oddly no!  There's a promotion that sometimes did shows in my old highschool's gym but I never actually went - probably because I had nobody to go with. 14.   Do you tell others (friends, acquaintances) that you’re a wrestling fan? Why or why not? Historically it would depend on the person - there was a lot of indefensible stuff going on in the Attitude Era and I think it pretty justifiably coloured public perception of wrestling fans, so, sometimes saying it outright was bracing for an argument.  Now I've got zero shame about it - I'm a lifer, I've accepted it. 15.   Aside from wrestling, what other fandoms are you involved in? That kind of depends on your idea of “involved in,” as I tend to stay fairly quiet.  But to limit the answer to things I've actively posted about and discussed on Tumblr (within the past year or so), the brief rundown would be Star Trek (DS9), Fallout 4, the Dragon Age series, and Mass Effect. 16.   Where does wrestling rank among your other fandoms? It's currently sitting at a pretty smug #1 but these things do fluctuate. 17.   What Is your least favorite thing about wrestling? The target audience doesn't do it many favors, if you consider the target audience to have shifted during the attitude era to mean “Entitled straight white men aged 13-35.”  Them being pandered/catered to was responsible for a lot of the things I found off-putting.  To some extent, those things have gone by the wayside in WWE due to public trading/sponsorship (I'm not for a second gonna credit them with ‘shifting attitudes’).  Misogyny, objectification, racism, homophobia, ableism, etc.  In those respects it's at least less cringeworthy than it used to be, but sometimes there's backsliding...I find the jingoism in American-based pro wrestling very irritating, as well. 18.   What is the first imagine or concept that comes to mind when you think about wrestling? It's funny, but no matter how many times they've changed the colours over the years, I still picture the ring with a red top rope, a white middle rope, and a blue bottom rope. 19.   What do you wish wrestling had more of?  In other words, what is lacking from wrestling that you wish were present? Does “Thought put into it” count? lol.  Honestly most of the criticisms I'd level at wrestling would actually be directed at WWE.  One of the reasons I'm enjoying NJPW so much is it just makes so much more logical sense from a booking standpoint and there's so much less fiddling around with awkward scripted ‘sketches’ and forced drama.  WWE books like a bad reality show whose megalomaniac scripters are passed out in a table full of cocaine and money, so trains of thought don't actually reach the station. 20.   Grievances? Anything that bugs you about wrestling or the way it is presented? Commercial breaks on the WWE Network? Teasing that a certain someone was “up next” but only showing a video package?” Hahahahaha is it possible this question was inspired by Recent Disappointments?  XD Again, a lot of this would be directed at WWE.  Commercial breaks during matches, god, I can't even tell you how wrongheaded that is.  It completely takes me out of the story; I remember when it hardly ever happened, and when it did JR would apologize profusely for it, but now you've got a match with 2 or 3 commercial breaks in the middle of it, if it's something I'm only passingly interested in sometimes I've forgotten who's even in the ring by the time we get back to the action.  It's the equivalent of a drama going to commercial while somebody's in the middle of a sentence, and returning after they've finished making their point. And again, with poor damned planning and stubborn refusal to accept criticism or feedback.  Time was, if something went over like a lead balloon, it'd be reworked or tweaked or dropped altogether, but now...if it's something they want to happen badly enough they'll stick with a plan no matter how disastrously stupid or actively harmful to their own interests it is.  I'm thinking specifically of the idiocy that is having a man hold your top title who will /maybe/ show up five more times this entire year, so he can drop it to a man 80% of the audience has absolutely no interest in seeing whatsoever, in a match that will probably be terrible.   Oddly, sometimes we have the same problem in the opposite direction - being dead set on an idea while simultaneously waffling on committing to it; consider the repeated delay of Eva Marie's “debut match” which went on over a month, culminated in her being suspended offscreen, and likely her retirement from active competition.  Also the entire debacle with “Emmalina,” wherein the writers were 100% behind the idea of changing Emma's gimmick apparently without even once consulting Emma about whether she was comfortable with the new direction.  Similiarly the endless -promo videos- for the Shining Stars, and Darren Young's reboots...lengthy wait times followed by lacklustre debuts followed by essentially, no actual plan for any of them.  (and yes, there is an unspoken fear here related to Recent Disappointments, I’m sure it’s shared) 21.   And finally, anything you’d like to add to this questionnaire? *thinks a moment*  Shinsuke is the bees knees.  That's all.   22. How active are you in the online wrestling community? Not at all or do you occasionally visit wrestling forums and message boards? Do you read wrestling newsletters or listen to podcasts?Once upon a time I will admit to being a member of the “Brides of Kane,” and that's all the information you're getting on the subject lol.  I've been delighted to find an active community on tumblr, as it turns out it's more fun to watch / bitch about wresting in company.  I check the news sites daily - this is always true when I'm watching.And I occasionally give Jericho's podcast a listen, or run through some of Xavier's gaming videos.

[safty]

Tiny Rollins - Fic- All Ages (Cute, H/C)

What if Seth was made tiny with Wyatt magic? 

@wrassleslashlibrary ? (No fuckin’ just friends)

@sendendo drew these a long time ago and I finally wrote this. Will probably post on AO3 at some point- Need to figure out how to finish it.

Leaving the ring, it wasn't terribly uncommon to feel bleary and sort of dizzy. Seth had wrestled a very long, physical match and almost everyone was way more blown up than he was. The trainers were still attending to Shane when he was leaving, so he didn’t bother with wasting anyone’s time, just trying to put one foot ahead of the other.

"I watched the finish on the monitor. Very good." Cesaro noted in the car, taking the wheel.

"It felt okay." Seth rubbed his eyes. Even the prospect of showering at the hotel seemed like a horrible chore.

He hadn't remembered hearing Randy or Bray whispering to each other, couldn't have understood Bray's words when he pinned him to the mat. Seth didn't really remember knocking his head at any point, but it wouldn't have surprised him if he had.

"You ok?" Cesaro asked after they'd checked in. Seth was usually irritable and grumpy, but usually was griping.

"Just tired." Seth grunted, pulling his roller bag faster.

Nobody would have expected what had happened when the morning came. For convenience sake, they'd gotten a double room, past interested in trying to jerk off or fuck a stranger after a pay per view. Cesaro turned the next morning, looking to the adjacent bed as soon as he'd wondered why Seth wasn't snoring away.

The bed was empty, and he sat up, looking around.

There was no one in the bathroom, and the balcony door hadn't been cracked. Cesaro's heart began to pound when he realized all of Seth's things were still there- even his shoes. Something was up.

"Seth?" Cesaro tried, standing in the middle of the room, at a loss. He raised his voice, not really sure what it would do.

"SETH!"

He gulped, wondering if a text would be of any help. Unfortunately, Seth's phone was still plugged into the wall, buzzing dully on the desk by the bed.

Hell Cesaro thought, tearing back the shower curtains. Nothing. Where?

It wasn't until he pulled back the covers desperately that he let out a short yell, sure he'd seen a mouse. Something small clung hard to the under sheet, letting out a high squeal when Cesaro dropped it, recoiling away.

Seth?

Carefully, Cesaro pulled the covers back, trying to see the tiny thing. It hadn't been more than four inches long, but the way that it had been holding to the sheets was strange. So small, it had looked bug-like.

Holding to the sheets with tiny hands, was a person of some sort, but it had been shrunk down so small that it was not to be believed. Cesaro's eyes widened, terrified as he heard a horrible high pitched screaming. The little thing had a long mane of brown hair and was naked. Seth's clothes were laying flat against the bed, as though the man had evaporated.

"Seth?" Cesaro breathed, watching as the little figure ran, scrambling across the bed, desperately trying to climb the pillow. Instinctively, Cesaro leaned forward, trying to touch him so that he might stop running away. Seth had other ideas however, only pausing his screaming to pant, trying to regain his breath.

"It's fine!" Cesaro said, still disbelieving of what was happening. In all likelihood it was not fine, but he had no idea what to do, following Seth with his hand as though he was trying to get a butterfly to land on it. "No- don't, hey!"

Seth leapt, fingers grasping the back side of the bed frame, climbing onto it. In his haste, his little toes slipped and he began to fall off the bed, screaming harder than ever.

In an instant, Cesaro had caught him, heart almost stopping as he watched Seth tumble several inches, landing in Cesaro's palms in a heap. Bringing him up to his eyes, the resemblance was uncanny. In his hands, he was holding a micro-sized Seth Rollins, terrified and naked, Cesaro's heart was still pounding fast, watching him tremble and shake, his whole body flushed and red, his face pouring with tears.

"Can you hear me?" Cesaro hissed. Seth's whole frame shock and he curled up inside his palm, quivering in the fetal position. To Cesaro's ears, his voice was intelligible, reduced to squeaks. Therein lied the possibility that Seth was too small to hear Cesaro properly either.

"Okay, okay," Cesaro muttered, very carefully running his thumb across Seth's whole side, trying to be assuring. "You are okay."

Drawing his arm out, far from his body, he nodded his head wide so Seth could see as much of him as he could, his finger still just grazing his side, trying to perk him up. Seth sat, warm and vibrating in Cesaro's hand. It seemed to take him a moment, but soon, Seth grabbed onto Cesaro's finger, sure it was his friend.

It was a terribly unusual situation, shaving hours off of their schedule. Luckily, neither of them had engagements to see to that involved media, but Cesaro was just scared his friend could be hurt or irreversibly altered. Despite some well intentioned nuzzling with his pinky finger, Cesaro couldn't stop Seth from crying, letting out shrill, sad squeaks.

"It's okay, It's okay," Cesaro kept saying, mostly for his own benefit, as he had no idea what to do. He sat down at the desk, pulling out paper and a pen. If Seth couldn't make out what he was saying, he'd have to write it down. 

Seth continued to lean against Cesaro's left thumb, shaking, until he realized what was happening.

WHY ARE YOU SMALL Cesaro wrote in tiny letters across the stationary pad, sure Seth could make it out, unless his brain had been affected. On another sheet of paper, he began to write out the alphabet in larger letters, rather like a tiny hopscotch arrangement. Seth watched, intrigued.

With the pen, Cesaro tapped the paper, asking his question. Seth stared, and then, hopped off of his hand, standing on the table top, staring at the alphabet sheet carefully.

With a lot of hopping around, in which Seth was holding onto his barely visible, exposed dick, Cesaro transcribed his frantic scrambling-

D-O-N-T-K-N-O-W

Cesaro paused, wondering what to ask next, but Seth continued to pounce over the paper, his little feet smearing the ink

W-Y-A-T-T

He held his hands out, after tucking his cock between his legs for modesty's sake, he shrugged, wide. Cesaro's brow furrowed.

PAIN?

N-O

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? HOW CAN I HELP

Seth tapped the paper angrily where Cesaro had written out DONT KNOW

TELL WORK?

Seth stood for a moment, looking to the letters written on the paper, considering. Cesaro leaned on his hand, watching his friend and heaving a sigh.

I-W-A-N-T-

Seth paused, shaking his head, he walked back, throwing his hands up.

S-H-O-U-L-D-

He stopped and sank down to his knees, facing away from Cesaro. He tucked his face to his knees and shook. Cesaro leaned in with his pinky finger, stroking his back.

Things were going to be difficult until they got a handle on things.

Cesaro insisted on being Seth’s advocate, and after explaining himself to the point of exhaustion regarding the circumstances he’d found Seth- Vince and the brass upstairs hurriedly began trying to figure out what to do. As soon as they’d dropped the name Wyatt, Cesaro and his tiny riding partner were ushered to the trainers.

“We’ll figure everything out, we’ll sort this,” Curano insisted. “We just need to take the utmost care of Seth in the meantime.”

This mostly meant that Seth didn’t get squashed. Word quickly got around to the rest of the roster and the trainers put together a makeshift basket from the cutlery containers in catering. Seth was rested in the base of the basket with some stuffing covered in cloth to keep him comfortable, and a ribbon was tied to the handle so everyone would know it was in fact Seth’s basket.

“We won’t be able to really take vitals unless we were at a lab.” The trainer frowned, setting her hands on the desk and looking at Seth under a magnifying glass. He’d been draped in a sheet of toilet paper in the meantime, holding the square around him like a rain poncho. “You’re sure he’s alright?”

Cesaro pulled out the crumpled sheet with the alphabet on it, scrawling YOU FEEL FINE?

Seth danced around the sheet, smoothing out the folds. Even with his bulky toilet paper garb trailing on the table, he seemed to spell Y-E-S.

Cesaro elected to cut an old sock apart in catering, so to give Seth a warmer means of covering himself. Bayley seemed to be the most sympathetic as well as amused regarding Seth’s condition, and decided to assist by shearing meat into tiny pieces for Seth to eat.

“This must be so hard! He doesn’t have any medications, does he?”

“No, nothing prescription.” Cesaro shook his head, watching Seth pull the sock over his head and tease the hole to stick his head through. He struggled for a moment, before nudging with his arms against the fabric for Cesaro to make dots with a felt marker, marking where he’d like sleeves.

“What if he has to go to the bathroom?” Bayley asked seriously, rubbing her forehead. “I don’t ever want to get turned small by dark magic!”

Adorned with a thick sock and well fed by tiny meat cuts and cracker crumbs, Seth pushed apart the stuffing in his basket to hide. Cesaro struggled with himself, wanting to tear off the covering to make sure his friend was ok, but after turning the basket slightly, he could see Seth’s head poking out, his hair wild and fanned around his face as he appeared to be sleeping.

“I need a moment, if you would please watch him,” Cesaro pleaded, “Nobody can move the basket.”

He had a match to plan with Sheamus and inevitably, there would be the problem of covering for Seth’s television character. Cesaro felt awful, sure that his friend was probably heartbroken about being unable to wrestle.

Raw went off feeling strangely forced. As soon as he was out of Gorilla, Cesaro was rushing back to Seth’s basket, breaking through a circle of people that were all sitting around the table, discussing Bray’s talent for mischief and the consequences of the act.

H-U-N-G-R-Y Seth spelled out, the moment he recognized Cesaro was close by. Roman, Kevin and Jericho watched with interest as Seth meandered around the paper.

S-L-E-E-P-E-A-T-M-O-R-E-S-M-A-L-L

They delighted in all cutting up protein bars and feeding Seth crumbs as Johnny Ace came in to find them, slightly disturbed by the scene.

“Bray’ll fly out next weekend and he’s gonna fix it,” He rasped, clapping Cesaro on the back. “We’re paying you extra, to watch him.”

“It’s no problem,” Cesaro said firmly. “We are flying to Charlotte? Going back through customs…”

“Keep a low profile,” Johnny said, “We’ll arrange private travel, but he shouldn’t be out.”

Caring for Seth wasn’t unlike watching a very high maintenance little mouse. After a rather depressing evening where Seth kept out of sight in the bottom of his basket. He began yelping, high pitched if he ever needed Cesaro’s attention.

GOING TO THE AIRPORT, YOU’RE GOING TO STAY IN MY POCKET THROUGH SECURITY AND THEN WHEN YOU’RE ON THE PLANE YOU CAN GET OUT. Cesaro wrote on a new piece of hotel stationary, setting it in front of Seth to read.

Seth sighed, toying with the roughly hewn edge of his sock-shirt.

Experimentally, Cesaro opened his hand to get Seth into it again, putting him up on his shoulder near his ear. He cocked his head, sure that he could probably get some better idea of Seth’s words if he spoke clearly.

“Your ear is dirty!” Seth squealed. Excitedly, Cesaro whipped his head around, grinning and almost sending Seth flying. Carefully, he turned his head again, ready to listen, it was difficult unless he was concentrating.

“This is very scary! My heart hasn’t stopped racing hard!”

IM SURE Cesaro wrote on the paper. GO ON

“I have to sleep and eat more, I don’t know why. I’m very tired. Nothing hurts, but I get dizzy if you move me too fast, so try not to do that.”

OK

“I’ve been peeing whenever you aren’t looking.”

Cesaro shook with laughter.

“If you draw a grid on the paper, I’ll show you the password to unlock my phone.”

Cesaro did, and then helped Seth go through his messages, explaining to his close friends and family that he wouldn’t be able to talk properly for a week, but would explain everything later. After just twenty minutes, Seth began to yawn and falter, leaning into Cesaro’s thumb. He took the hint, pulling Seth into his hand and slowly walking him over to the basket again, setting an opened granola bar inside as well.

Going through the airport was the most nerve wracking experience of his life and he couldn’t help nudging the front of his shirt pocket, terrified that, for some reason, Seth wouldn’t be there. However, tiny hands beat back on the fabric, poking his chest.

They’d gotten all the way back to the gate before Cesaro looked down and noticed Seth’s hands and head popping out the top of the pocket- rather unceremoniously, Cesaro popped him back down, hearing an angry squeal. Once they were on the plane- a private airline, he helped to pull him out, ready to scold him for peeking.

Seth was actually wet and flushed, leaving Cesaro’s hands damp, he frowned, raising his friend to his ear for some sort of explanation.

“I’m not- I can’t-” Seth panted, squeaking. “So hot-”

Guilty, Cesaro helped him lie down comfortably. Curled up in a light napkin, Seth accepted little droplets of water over his head to cool down. When he was finished, Cesaro bit off the end of the coffee stirrer, giving Seth a fairly large straw to drink down some water. 

“I want coffee.” Seth whined after he finished, holding onto Cesaro’s shirt collar like a saddle horn. “I hate this! I’m hot and then I’m freezing. I smell terrible!”

He set his tiny friend back down on the tray table and Seth just sagged, curling up into a ball and whimpering. For awhile, Cesaro just pet him with his pinky, unsure about what to do. There was nothing he could do to really help- just make Seth more comfortable. The airline workers had been notified about the situation they were in, and so didn’t do much more than offer sideways glances at the thumb-sized man.

Grabbing a stack of cups from the catering cart, Cesaro rose and grabbed some of his toiletries from his carryon. Even when Seth was normal sized, Cesaro’s role was usually keeping him happy on the road. This was a lot more involved, but it had the same spirit.

He nudged his hand out for Seth to climb into. Fussy and upset, Seth didn’t budge, head to his knees, determined. Cesaro chuckled, very carefully tipping his friend into his fingers and marching off to the bathroom.

Pouring warm water into a cup and adding a speck of soap, Cesaro made a functional little bath. Seth watched, unsure exactly what was happening until the water began to bubble up. Eagerly, he climbed in, dunking his head and wading around like a frog caught in a jar. Pulling a thread out of his shirt, Cesaro cut a tiny string so Seth could pull his hair back.

Freshly cleaned and dried, with a tiny pour of coffee into a condiment server and a handful of muffin crumbs, Seth seemed much less upset.

WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT DONT WORRY Cesaro wrote while Seth sat on his hand, watching I DONT MIND AND I WANT TO HELP

Much to his surprise, Seth began to cry again. But instead of curling up into a ball, he clutched Cesaro’s thumb, hugging it. Cesaro smiled, stroking his friend’s small head lovingly. Being so small surely took an emotional toll, but they only had a few more days to figure it out. 

[myraelvira]

What Happened To Randy Sellers?

Randy Lee Sellers was born on September 6th, 1962. He was born to Wanda and John Cotton. Randy had a younger brother, Tyran Renard, that was born in 1967. He was considered to have been from the Visalia/Morning view area of Kentucky.

Randy was in Alternative school at the time, and according to anecdotal evidence, he was considered one of the ‘bad boys’ in his area. “Randy was in and out of trouble most of his teen years and the local cops were quite familiar with him.”.

On August 15th, 1980, Randy was at the Kenton County Fair in Independence, Kentucky, when he was arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication. Allegedly, he got into a fistfight with someone at the fair, and the cops were called. The police believe that Randy was under the influence of drugs at the time, and even struck one of the cops after he was put in the squad car.

As the story goes, Randy was dropped off by the police about one mile from his family’s home in Visalia. Some reports say that Randy provided unclear directions to the house, and others claim that the officers dropped in him at the location as a favor to Randy. Either way, Randy never returned home and was never heard from again.

A man named Jack Isles, an alleged friend of Randy’s, stated that he was at the fair on the night of Randy’s disappearance. In an article, he stated that he regretted not having offered Randy a ride home that night. “I wish I could have told him to come on home. Let him go with me. I wish he was here, God-honest truth with you.”.

At first, it was believed that Randy had drowned, with his footprints near the Licking River which hugs the Visalia area. The footprints matched a set of hiking boots owned by one of his relatives, and there were marks that someone may have slipped and fallen into the water. When authorities searched the river to find nothing, they then believed that the footprints were left by people searching for Randy.

Many people believe that a man named Donald LeRoy Evans murdered Randy. Evans was a drifter that was eventually sentenced to death for the murder of a child in Mississippi; he claimed that he picked Randy up along Route 177, the main road in the Visalia area. Allegedly he took Randy to Kincaid Lake State Park and shared a beer with him. Then he supposedly shot Randy in the head with a .45 and buried his body, on that night in 1980. Evans also claimed to be responsible for other unsolved cases, including the death of Kimberly Dawn McClaskey. Evans was rather notorious for having preyed on people in rest areas and parks.

One of the reasons why Evans was considered a possibility is because he actually confessed to the murder in Mississippi and led authorities to the body of the girl. He also confessed to a murder in Florida of a prostitute that was found in a hotel room. He told authorities details that led to a set of his prints. So at least twice over, he confessed to murders that were proven to be tied to him.

Authorities searched Kincaid Lake State Park for Randy’s body in 1994, 14 years after his disappearance, but nothing was found. Evans was never charged in the case, and police were not even sure if he was involved. His claims though, were considered credible. Another one of the main reasons people believed that Evans may have been responsible, was because he drew a crude yet accurate map of the park.

When they went to search for Randy’s body, there was nothing there. Evans initially stated he buried Randy 3 feet deep in the ground with some sheet metal that he found. Then later, he changed his story to having sort of just covering Randy’s body with some forest brush.

There have been multiple searches in order to find Randy or even his body, yet none have turned up anything. In 2018, there was a search in March at the Kincaid park where a rescue team’s dogs picked up the alleged scent of a decaying body. Apparently, the area the scent was found matched the area that Donald Evans claimed to have buried Randy’s body. There was the belief that the map Evans drew was potentially misinterpreted at first, when they searched for Randy in the 90’s. In the recent past, some people believed that reading the map in a different way (or upside down) could reveal more information and potentially find Randy (which to me, doesn’t prove that the map was accurate in the first place). It is unknown what came of that search, if there was any dead body at all. In my personal opinion, I do not see how a body can still be decaying 38 years after the fact. Interestingly, the case was still considered open, as of 2018.

Randy’s mother believes that her son hitched a ride with Evans to the park, in hopes of seeing her since she was staying there with a friend at the time. As recently as 2019, Wanda Cotton has been reported stating that she believes that Evans killed her son. Wanda said in 2019, “I believe in my heart, that Randy was killed by Donald LeRoy Evans.”. She believes that Randy’s body is somewhere in the park, with a marker to remember him, and another woman who was killed.

Randy’s physical appearance is described as having been 5’9”, 149 pounds, with brown hair and hazel eyes. Randy had a birthmark on the crown of his head, a scar above his left eye, and a surgical scar on his right knee. He had a scar on his left elbow, from an old fracture. There was a tattoo of the letter ‘R’ on his right forearm, though other sources state that it was on a forearm. He may have had a crown on tooth, and wore a beard on his chin at the time of his disappearance. He was last seen wearing a black shirt, blue jeans, and work shoes.

The reason I bring this up now, is that there is an interesting John Doe that seems to match that description. On doenetwork there is John Doe 419UMOK. He was found on April 9th, 1995 in Crowder, Oklahoma next to a Jane Doe. The Jane Doe was estimated to have been 18-30 years old, 5’6”, with long light brown almost blonde looking hair. Jane wore black denim size 10 pants, blue underwear, a red pullover shirt, white socks, and a white bra. She had 2 rings on her left hand, one of a yellow metal band, and other of a single white stone. John was estimated to have been 20-30 years old, 5’7”,with brown/light blond hair, with a light brown mustache. He wore a green denim pair of pants (31/34) black and white checkered briefs, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket. He had a ring on his left hand, a yellow metal band, with 14k and TW inscribed on the inside. He also wore a watch that was still working at the time their bodies were found, though it was an hour behind the current. Most interestingly, is that this doe had a tattoo of the letter ‘R’ on his upper left forearm. He also had a tattoo of a cross on his upper left arm. Both bodies were found decomposing under a tree near Lake Eufala, and seemed to have been dragged about 50 feet from a dirt road. Though it may seem far fetched that this doe may have been Randy, the tattoo was a detail that I could not omit.

[NOTE: This doe has been excluded from Randy]

There are some interesting things that I have come across with Randy’s case, whether it be from online errors, to just random things. The first thing, is that on Randy’s page for the doe network site, he is listed as female, all other sites correctly list him as male. For some reason, the main photo used to show Randy’s most recent appearance when he disappeared, has black markings that make it look like he was wearing a black shirt. The full version of the photo is included on the namus profile for him, and it shows that he was shirtless. I know that this means nothing, but I can’t understand why someone would “photoshop” a fake shirt on a picture of him?

Through reading about this case, I have not came across a lot of information on Randy’s background. There is the info that he was in alternative school, and the anecdotal that he was a bit of a bad boy. There is a personal story on a post on websleuths were someone said that Randy was pretty familiar with the cops, so the idea that they didn’t know where his house was at was asinine. I haven’t even heard anything about the night of the fair, and I am curious what the fight that Randy had was about. Was it just a drunken brawl? Was there a reason that he got into the fight other than being drunk? Who was the person that he got into a fight with? Was it an adult or another teen? Was it perhaps someone related to a cop or a big official? How long had Randy been in alternative school for, and what the reason why he was there exactly? Did he have a hard time with his family? Did he ever talk about running away possibly?

I think that it is important too, to look at a map of the area as a whole. The Visalia area is not that far from Ohio.

There a few does from that area that may be plausibly close to being Randy.

https://www.namus.gov/MissingPersons/Case#/1712/details?nav

https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/6715?nav

There have been two facial progressions of Randy, one in 2006, and another in 2011. I will be completely honest, I think both are terrible. The first one from 2006 is honestly terrible and does not look like him at all. The second on from 2011 is closer, but it does not seem too accurate. This honestly reminds me of the Reet Jurvetson case where the drawings of her when she was Jane Doe were completely different from how she really looked. Personally, I think that Randy looked almost exactly like his father, down to the nose and hairline. I don’t understand why they did not go with a progression based off of that.

Unfortunately, on December 10th, 1990, Randy’s younger brother Tyran committed suicide. He is buried at Mother of God Cemetery in Kenton Vale, Kentucky.

There is still uncertainty as to what happened to Randy. Many people, like his mother, believed that he was murdered by Donald Evans. Despite looking for the body 14 years later, there has not been any evidence that Randy was buried in the park. Though at the same time too, a 14 year gap of looking for a body that may have been buried in a shallow grave leaves more than enough time for nature to naturally scatter the pieces. Others believe that Randy may have been killed by the police, potentially just tired of a ‘juvenile delinquent’. Rumors have said that police killed Randy, and buried the body on property of a policeman.

Randy’s parents, John and Wanda, are still alive today (as of 2020), and are still looking for answers as to what happened to their son. In 2019, it was revealed that John had been diagnosed with cancer. The parents expressed their worry that after they eventually pass away, who would remember Randy. Fortunately, research teams and the press have shown that people are still thinking about Randy, even to this day.

[SOURCES]

http://charleyproject.org/case/randy-lee-sellers

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2019/06/04/randy-sellers-missing-case-kenton-county-towson-university/1338652001/

http://www.pollyklaas.org/missing/kids/randy-sellers.html

https://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/kenton-county/police-renew-search-for-randy-sellers-in-1980-missing-person-case

https://local12.com/news/local/randy-sellers-parents-plead-for-tips-in-his-case-nearly-39-years-later

https://billiongraves.com/grave/Randy-L-Sellers/25146466

https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/5174/details

https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/5170?nav

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/136164576/_

http://www.doenetwork.org/cases/14dmky.html

https://www.namus.gov/MissingPersons/Case#/1712/details?nav

https://www.websleuths.com/forums/threads/ky-randy-sellers-17-visalia-16-aug-1980.31947/

[funface2]

Antonio Brown Signing May Be Bill Belichick’s Funniest — And Riskiest — Move Yet – CBS Boston

By Michael Hurley, CBS Boston

BOSTON (CBS) — Here in New England, we’ve grown accustomed to never ruling out any possibility or impossibility when it comes to Bill Belichick. The Patriots could go out and acquire Peyton Manning, Abraham Lincoln or The Great And Powerful Oz, and we’d all barely bat an eyelash.

Even still, this one pushed the limits.

After roughly 48 hours of the internet spewing out bad jokes about Antonio Brown leaving the Raiders in disgrace only to join the Patriots and win a Super Bowl … Belichick of course showed no hesitation in signing the disgruntled and shall we say mercurial wide receiver. The goal in Foxboro remains, as always, winning a Super Bowl. Brown will now be a part of that goal.

The breaking of the news was one of those moments where you had to check, and then double-check, and then triple-check to make sure that you weren’t being duped by a Photoshopped version of a fake Adam Schefter account. And after that, you had to text a few friends just to be extra sure.

Even when you see it coming for two days, it still manages to come as a shock. That is the magic of one Mr. William Stephen Belichick.

In that sense, it’s not surprising per se that Belichick sees this as a worthy risk. Brown is a Hall of Fame talent and one of the very best receiver in the NFL. When the best player at any position becomes available for a reasonable price, Belichick is going to stick his nose into the situation 11 times out of 10. That’s the confidence that can only come with 20 years of unprecedented success and an unimaginable level of job security. There aren’t many coaches in the NFL — or any sport, really — with that kind of self-assurance. It’s quite the luxury.

Belichick also has his program working in his favor. His is a locker room that has handled every type of personality imaginable since 2000. While Brown’s current case is unquestionably unique, the idea of New England opening its doors to a player most teams would prefer to avoid is not.

Add in the allure of the best receiver in the NFL joining a Tom Brady and Josh McDaniels-led offense … lining up with Julian Edelman, Josh Gordon, and eventually N’Keal Harry … and it’s not difficult at all to understand the positives to the mental equation Belichick performed in his head.

Yet even with all of that being clearly understood, there is absolutely no guarantee or certainty that any of this would work out.

You must consider, of course, that Brown literally just got everything he wanted from the Raiders, after successfully forcing his way out of a winning team in Pittsburgh. Brown got a coach who loved him, and owner and GM who paid him, and a fan base that would immediately adore him. Brown responded to having all of his wishes granted by acting in such a petulant way that even Terrell Owens could not approve.

For those who either didn’t follow or simply lost track:

–Brown forced his way out of Pittsburgh, a place where he broadcast his coach’s postgame locker-room speech to the world, a place where he feuded with the head coach and quarterback, a place where he had an outburst on the practice field and didn’t bother playing in a must-win Week 17 game, and a place where he announced his farewell to the city and fans before a trade had even been negotiated.

–Brown showed up to camp via hot air balloon, but he couldn’t participate, because he had frostbitten feet. He suffered the injury by reportedly undergoing cryotherapy while wearing wet socks.

–Brown threw multiple temper tantrums in the spring and summer because the league had mandated (more than a year earlier) that his helmet model could no longer be used. After making accusations of being targeted to change because of his race, and after trying to sneak a shoddily painted helmet onto the practice field, Brown reportedly threatened retirement over the issue. Eventually he found a new helmet … and even got a sponsorship out of it.

–Brown missed a practice and a walkthrough without any excuse, and the team fined him as a result. Brown complained about the fines via Instagram and then later confronted GM Mike Mayock. It appeared as though his time in Oakland was going to end.

–In a twist, an emotional Brown apologized to his team, and all fences were apparently mended immediately. Jon Gruden announces Friday that Brown would be playing in Week 1 after all.

–The harmony lasted just a few hours, as a Friday night report noted that Brown was upset to have been informed that he was being fined for the confrontation with Mayock. After emotionally taking accountability for his prior transgressions, Brown was unwilling and/or unable to accept any accountability for lobbing threats at his boss.

–Brown also released a professionally produced video on Friday night that included a recorded phone call with Gruden. The message of the video was that he’s more than a football player.

–On Saturday morning, Brown requested (via Instagram) to be released. Hours later, the Raiders once again granted Brown’s wish. This one terminated their relationship.

In doing so, Brown kicked away his $30 million of guaranteed money, and he threw out a stiff-arm to an organization that was willing and eager to bend to his every whim and desire.

Even with all of that talent, it’s easy to understand why there probably wasn’t a bidding war for Brown’s services on Saturday. Meanwhile, Belichick waited all of five minutes to lock up the suddenly available receiver.

In that way, you can’t help but marvel at the comedic timing of the future Hall of Famer. From an entertainment standpoint, he simply can’t be beat.

Factor in how much most of America already hates the Patriots, and the match at this exact moment in time is almost too perfect.

Football-wise, though, there’s undoubtedly a large chance that none of this works. While Belichick has managed to get various malcontents or “damaged goods” (or whatever other terribly dehumanizing word that people in sports use to describe professional athletes) to buy in to the program and perform at a championship level for a year or two … he’s never done it in the exact moment that the particular player appears to be coming unglued. Randy Moss fell out of favor after two unpleasant years in Oakland. Corey Dillon needed a new environment after seven years in Cincinnati. Likewise for Chad Ochocinco, though he had spent 10 years with the Bengals before wearing out their welcome.

Some others come to mind — LeGarrette Blount had a punchy past (and later forced his way off the Steelers, come to think of it) and Aqib Talib was a risk of sorts — but never before has the team taken in a player smack dab in the midst of what appears to be a crisis. To reiterate: Brown was just given everything he’s ever wanted by the Oakland Raiders, and he still didn’t find it to be enough.

The Patriots clearly have more to offer from a football standpoint. The coach is less of a cartoon character, and the quarterback is the greatest of all time. The offensive coordinator isn’t too bad either.

All of that is true. But again, his situation in Oakland was exactly what he wanted. It took him all of six weeks to throw it all away.

In New England, Brown will have the chance to showcase his talent on the league’s most popular (for better and for worse) team every week. If he manages to do it without causing the massive problems he created in Oakland, then he has the best shot of his career to win a Super Bowl.

At this point in time though, that remains a massive “if” for Brown. If a Raiders organization that bent over backwards to accommodate him couldn’t make him happy, it’s hard to find a rational reason to believe life in Foxboro will be any better.

It may work out spectacularly. It may fail miserably. You don’t know, I don’t know, Belichick doesn’t know, Brady doesn’t know, and Brown probably doesn’t even know himself.

We don’t know that. We can’t. But we do know this: One way or another, it’s all going to rather fun to watch. Rare is the boring day while following the on-field and off-field exploits of the New England Patriots.

You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.

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[takenews-blog1]

Five terrible #WCW match concepts that #WWE probably shouldn't steal

New Post has been published on https://takenews.net/five-terrible-wcw-match-concepts-that-wwe-probably-shouldnt-steal/

Five terrible #WCW match concepts that #WWE probably shouldn't steal

Due to the rising affect of Paul “Triple H” Levesque because the artistic drive behind NXT, nostalgia seems to be a robust drive in WWE.

This month, NXT offered their WarGames particular the evening earlier than Survivor Sequence, resurrecting the all-time basic WCW cage match (with a little bit of a twist) and blowing away the Survivor Sequence PPV that needed to comply with them the following evening. Beforehand, elements of the WarGames idea (massive cage, timed entrances) had been imported through the Elimination Chamber, however followers had been calling for WWE to deliver again the complete match for years.

The dying of Dusty Rhodes, the mastermind of the match, most likely hastened plans to deliver it into the 21st century, and presumably as a result of it’s been 19 years because the atrocity at Fall Brawl 1998 killed off the gimmick for good and we’ve just about forgotten about it by now. Both method, the resurrected WarGames was an entire success.

Then, per week later, WWE once more dipped into the WCW playbook, operating a home present in North Carolina that was titled “WWE Starrcade 2017,” which was once more paying tribute to Dusty Rhodes and the historical past of the corporate they purchased 16 years in the past and have been burying ever since. The present drew a reported eight,000 folks, a smashing success in at present’s depressed WWE stay occasion market, with even former WCW announcer and producer Tony Schiavone self-producing “Occasion Middle” items to hype the present.

At this level, you’re most likely pondering to your self “Man, this WCW was clearly an infinite nicely of nice concepts and unbridled creativity…what else can they re-purpose from their library?”

So I’m right here with a public service announcement: As surprising because it might sound, not the whole lot that WCW produced was notably good, and even profitable. Even WCW had some gutter balls to go along with all of the strikes that they threw. So I’ve scoured onerous and managed to give you 5 gimmick matches that WWE most likely doesn’t need to steal from WCW.

Halloween Havoc — which is an idea that they need to steal from WCW — was usually a present that had a common Halloween theme to it, like announcers dressing up in foolish costumes or masked jobbers named “The Creatures”.  You realize, innocent enjoyable.

Nevertheless, 1991 was the 12 months they took issues too far, opening the present with the atrocity often known as the Chamber of Horrors match, which might solely finish when one individual was actually strapped into an electrical chair in the course of the ring and executed stay on PPV.  And also you thought the early days of the UFC had been barbaric.

OK, so I’m fairly positive that Abdullah the Butcher wasn’t really killed, since he’s nonetheless round at present, however that was the idea for the match that featured the Steiner brothers teaming with El Gigante and Sting to face Abdullah, Cactus Jack, Vader and the Diamond Studd.  The match was contested inside a cage surrounding the ring, with a small cage in the course of the ring that contained a literal electrical chair, with the article of the match being that you simply needed to strap an opponent into the chair after which pull a lever to electrocute them.

The match was fairly horrible and barely made sense to observe, however on the brilliant facet it hopefully cauterized all the injuries that the Butcher has on his brow.

(Please observe:  The Chamber of Horrors shouldn’t be confused with the Home of Horrors”match from earlier in 2017, which one way or the other managed to be EVEN WORSE.)

Transferring onto the bonanza of silly concepts that was Uncensored ’95, by far essentially the most ridiculous was this so-called grudge match between Dustin Rhodes and the Blacktop Bully (Barry Darsow in one among many lame gimmicks).

Sure, these two males hated one another a lot that the one doable strategy to settle issues was to place them each at the back of a truck and have them battle it out till…nicely, I don’t actually know what it was purported to settle, if we’re being trustworthy right here. Apparently the purpose of the match was to battle to the tip of the truck and blow on a horn, however the level of the match is misplaced within the mind-boggling circumstances surrounding it.

— First, they not solely needed to outfit the again of the truck for the match, but in addition needed to outfit a number of different vans with a number of cameras to movie the primary truck, plus use a helicopter that was additionally outfitted with cameras for aerial views of the truck. All this for a 5 minute match on the undercard of a C-level PPV present.

— Second, each Rhodes and Darsow determined to bleed sooner or later in the course of the match, which was strictly in opposition to WCW coverage at that time, and each males had been terminated consequently.

— Third, all the large spots within the match concerned strolling backwards and forwards, with the large climaxes coming when the truck would go round corners.

— Fourth, the one factor they’d to make use of as a weapon was hay. As Tony Schiavone as soon as mentioned, hay will be very abrasive to the pores and skin, however this was a bit a lot. Fortunately this was solely tried as soon as after which forgotten endlessly, apart from when WWE mocks it on YouTube.

Again to 1988, with Dusty Rhodes on the top of his powers as Jim Crockett’s booker and NWA overlord.  In November 1987, Crockett had tried to interrupt into the PPV market in opposition to Vince McMahon with Starrcade ’87, however Vince did one of the vital spectacularly vile strikes in wrestling historical past by launching his personal PPV custom — the Survivor Sequence — on the identical evening, after which forcing cable corporations to decide on which one would air. They went with the WWF, leaving Crockett to regroup and take a look at a PPV one other day.

MONDAY NIGHT WRONG: In remembrance of the Gobbledy Gooker

That day proved to be in January 1988, and the PPV was the Bunkhouse Stampede finals, a month-long celebration of all issues Dusty Rhodes and the way nice Dusty Rhodes was. Additionally, Rhodes was the man writing all of the reveals, which I don’t know if I discussed earlier than, however he would most likely need me to say it once more, so I’ll level it out once more in case you had already forgotten about Dusty Rhodes.

Now, the cable corporations weren’t going to place up with McMahon operating a PPV in direct opposition for a second time (however that positive didn’t cease McMahon from attempting!) however regardless, he had two different methods to screw Crockett over. First, he compelled cable corporations to signal a non-compete settlement together with his WWF, which acknowledged that no different wrestling firm might air a present inside 60 days earlier than or after a WWF PPV.  This meant that the primary ever Crockett PPV, the Bunkhouse Stampede, was delayed till January. At which level Vince pulled out his SECOND gun, the Royal Rumble present.  Though cable corporations weren’t notably all in favour of Vince utilizing them to run opposition, the USA Community was more than pleased to make life tough for Ted Turner and his partnership with Jim Crockett.  So the Royal Rumble was placed on free TV reverse the Stampede, fully killing the PPV enterprise that evening.

Now, with all of the background, you’d suppose that the Bunkhouse Stampede was a hidden gem crushed by the larger wrestling firm unjustly, however fortunately for us it was one of many worst wrestling reveals of the period, capped off by the nonsensical most important occasion: The battle royal cage match. The thought was that Crockett home reveals had been headlined for the previous month or two by “something goes” battle royals, principally gained by Rhodes, and the individuals who gained essentially the most of them (moreover Rhodes) would all meet in a single winner-take-all cage match to determine who was the champion of the Bunkhouse. Spoiler: It was Dusty Rhodes.

Now, the article of a battle royal is to throw your opponent excessive rope to eradicate him, and the article of a cage match is to place a giant cage across the ring to maintain folks from leaving, so that you may see already the place the contradiction lies therein. Yeah, it was a complete catastrophe, with ridiculous spots that noticed guys discovering contrived methods to one way or the other hurl themselves over high of a cage or out the door of a cage, till solely Dusty Rhodes remained, triumphant, for America.

We after all mentioned David Arquette earlier than, and all the ill-advised try and make him World champion and one way or the other springboard that into folks going to see “Able to Rumble”, however the match that the film was primarily based round was equally ludicrous.

WCW had tried to make a triple-stacked cage into one thing on a number of events, with outcomes starting from “considerably horrible” to “holy cow that is horrible.” Essentially the most infamous was the primary occasion of Uncensored 1996, which noticed Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage one way or the other beating eight guys in a single match, with guidelines that had been unclear however you knew definitely that Ric Aptitude was getting pinned sooner or later. The opposite famously unhealthy model, at Slamboree 2000, featured Arquette in a wrestling capability and Jeff Jarrett successful a world title, plus Chris Kanyon falling off the highest of the cage in the identical enviornment the place Owen Hart died a 12 months earlier, however one way or the other couldn’t high the Hogan match for sheer horribleness even with these aces up its sleeves.

MONDAY NIGHT WRONG: Remembering that point David Arquette gained the Massive Gold Belt

The foundations of the triple cage match typically have all the time been considerably onerous to comply with and nebulous, though in all equity all the idea was lifted from the Von Erichs in Texas and so they had been all on medication on the time. There’s one massive cage on the backside masking the ring, like a Hell in a Cell, after which one other cage on high of that, after which a THIRD cage on the very high of that, and the combatants begin on the high and one way or the other battle down via the cages one after the other and the primary individual to flee or pin or wave the flag or no matter wins the match. It was by no means 100 p.c clear what the situations of victory ever had been.

To not point out that the mechanics of how or why you moved from one cage to the following the place equally imprecise and often amounted to “Properly, we’ve executed all our stuff up right here, let’s transfer down.”  Actually, it simply appeared to quantity to “One cage is cool, so let’s stack three on high of one another and fear about it later.”

And at last, one other Hulk Hogan particular, as his rivalry with the Large was simply too massive to be contained to the wrestling ring.

So at Halloween Havoc ’95, there was just one strategy to settle the rating: A sumo match with monster vans on the roof of Cobo Corridor in Detroit. Presumably they had been aiming for the very particular crossover viewers that was into each sumo wrestling and monster vans, however had been beforehand unable to search out both one represented strongly sufficient in mainstream American wrestling and had been prepared to pay high greenback for each.

So the storyline right here noticed Hogan signing autographs for kids on his motorbike — you recognize, as he usually did — solely to have the evil Large drive up and attempt to kill him with a monster truck, fortunately solely destroying the bike within the course of. Paradoxically, his bike was named “Black Magnificence.” Very ironic.

MORE: Three matches that had been a much bigger circus than McGregor vs. Mayweather

Anyway, Large sticking his head out of the window and cackling like he was on extra medication than Charlie Sheen is a second of top-notch performing untouched even a long time later into his profession, however the true spotlight got here after they clashed of their monster vans at Halloween Havoc.

The item was to push your opponent out of the “ring”, like in sumo. The epic battle noticed Hogan get his revenge by forcing Large’s truck out of the play space, however then Large attacked him (not with the truck…I imply, he’s not a MONSTER) and Hogan by accident pushed him off the roof the constructing and presumably into the massive physique of water a number of hundred toes under. However don’t fear, Large returned later within the night for his or her wrestling match, and his hair wasn’t even moist.  This was by no means defined or talked about once more, by the best way.

Actually, the autumn was sufficient, but it surely was the dry hair that actually bugged me.

So there you go, 5 matches that hopefully won’t ever be appropriated by WWE in any kind, except they’re making extra YouTube movies to mock them. Contemplate this my public service announcement and good deed for the day if I can warn anybody away from stealing them.