#Rithotd

[unfreezableoats]

happy birthday to my little freak 🤤🤤

[shiveringgroovy]

Got any RITHOTD headcanons?

YES SIR/MA'AM/ENTITY OF THE SLOP I DO!!!!!! spoiler they're all autistic and i'm gonna project onto fyodor like nobody's business

Fyodor

Class 2 Autism with debilitating executive dysfunction (no i don't take criticism i know damn well that weirdboy can't get shit done. sincerely someone with class 1 autism and debilitating executive dysfunction)

Paranoid Schizophrenia with religious delusions

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

REALLY picky about sensory stimuli

Can't Stand: spicy food, mushy textures, dried mud and paint, velcro, hot environments, having dry hands, overwhelmingly sweet scents/tastes, the smell, texture, and taste of blood

Really Likes: soft/long hair, smooth textures, wood smells, carbonated drinks (listen idk why but i think as soon as shit like monster energy was released he was INSANE)

REALLY loves nature, but doesn't interact with it often

Favorite Animals: Rats, Spiders, Roaches, Tardigrades, Cats

Really poor eyesight, needs glasses but hates having things on his face

Pushkin

Class 1 Autism

ADHD with major executive dysfunction

Major Depressive Disorder

Arthritis

Also really picky about sensory stimuli

Hates loud noises and scraping sounds in specific. wears earplugs/covers his ears with his coat hood to block out some noise

Not a huge nature fan, but likes most rodents and canines

Had a service dog for a while, probably a boxer or a doberman

Uses a cane, but would prefer crutches

Listens to classic rock like a fucking NERD. probably has a last.fm account too. someone introduce him to goreshit

he's my babygirl.

Ivan

Class 2 Autism

Epilepsy

Psychosis

UGGGHGHHHHH I WANT THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH SEVERAL DISORDERS SO BAD I'M GONNA [gets crushed by a rock]

World's most normal Throbbing Gristle fan (the band)

Loves nature, especially invertebrates

Favorite Animals: Roaches, Beetles, Isopods, Centipedes

Stims by blinking rapidly, cracking his joints, and throwing rocks around like a cat toy for himself

Stands with his feet crossed and twisted to keep his balance

Often manipulates the ground below him to keep his balance as well, it pisses Pushkin off because he ends up falling

Mushitaro

people seem to forget this guy (was) in the rats blehhhhh (i like him :3)

Class 1 Autism

Owns exotic animals (macaws, old-world tarantulas, axolotls, etc)

Music taste varies. He'll listen to "whatever" but still skip through a ton of songs to get to one he likes

The worst backseat driver of all time

Has trouble regulating his voice volume, normally very loud

Has kept hundreds of diaries, this guy doesn't play about journalling.

Loves brightly-colored things

Hawthorne

Borderline Personality Disorder

Really good at baking and cooking

He literally CANNOT stand up after a fight because fym he intentionally loses that blood????

I'm ngl I was never interested in this guy

Cat and dog lover, hates invertebrates and considers them "dirty"

He's a total lightweight trust me. has one drink and starts sobbing

[foundedroses]

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. “Tea isn’t the only thing thats hot”

Pairing: Ivan x f !reader

Plot: When you adapt at working for the Rats In The House Of The dead, one of your subordinates manage to catch your eye…and maybe more than just your eye…

Cw: smut mdni obvi, f !reader, pet names like “my love”, fingering, slight making out, possible grammar errors bc my ass cant be fucked to edit, freaky ivan.

Wc: 2.1k

a/n: Ivan my princess. I dont know why I struggled so hard to write this one, considering Ivan is my favourite character…i struggled with ideas for 4 days. After 3 panic attacks, 4 crises and 2 rage attacks, I finally finished it. I’ll try write smt more yk, extra? If that made sense, idk lol

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆

Rats In The House Of The Dead. Also known as RITHOTD, an organisation formed by Fyodor Dostoyvesky himself, the man who was in conjunction with the Decay of Angels. You knew that name all too well. The Decay Of Angels. It felt almost like yesterday when you met that man, Fyodor; he had also asked you to join the RITHOTD in order to affiliate with the cannibalism virus. 

You weren’t the type of person to cause such problems and mess with something just so dangerous, but hearing what the Russian had to offer, you could not say no. So, the RITHOTD was now the place you resided, and the place more problems would start, perhaps something more…intimate? 

ʚɞ

Being a part of RITHOTD was so much more than causing the hectic chaos you were taught to, it involved treating the main admin, Fyodor, superior to others, including the other members of the organisations. 

Tea. Something that the Russian man heavily enjoyed, also something you had to basically master how to make to perfection. It was a simple task, something you surely couldn’t have screwed up, but apparently, there was a lot you could mess up when making tea. “No, my master specifically requests for his tea to be made with a teaspoon and a half of sugar, and let set for at least five minutes before being served to him.” That was the third cup of tea that had been poured down the drain, thank gosh tea wasn’t expensive, or you’d be up for a fortune already. “That is exactly what I did?” You tried to reason but Ivan seriously wasn’t having it. “No, even a few extra sugar granules can entirely mess up the beverage.” Ivan reached for a new teabag and dropped it into the teacup. 

You thought he was being utterly ridiculous. “I don’t think it will…” You mumbled under your breath. ‘I doubt Fyodor would even notice.’ Ivan ignored your snide answer with a blissful smile to his lips, almost as if he was forced to maintain such a cheerful demeanour. You watched as he prepared the cup of tea for the fourth time, taking care in each motion and step. How dramatic. Tea is tea, it does not have to be prepared so meticulously. 

That is how you thought though, Ivan’s belief was entirely different. After the tea had been made and sitting peacefully on the table, Ivan turned his head to face you. “It is not that difficult.” He smiled, even though his expression was joy-filled, his tone sounded almost mocking. And you heard that; you faked a smile and snatched the cup of the table, holding it with the china saucer underneath it. “Thanks a lot.” You muttered, your voice laced with sarcasm and annoyance at being almost spoken down upon. Ivan’s lips curled into a smile and he nodded his head almost gleefully. “You are most welcome.” He clearly did not sense the sarcasm that rolled off your words. With the cup of tea in your hands, you slowly and steadily made your way to serve it to your leader. Specific way to prepare tea…he must be losing his mind. 

You returned back to your original outpost, Ivan remaining in the same place as you were. You tilted your head to one side and raised your arms in a way that said what the hell. “What are you doing?” You approached the long haired man, who so joyfully stood by the table, the radio playing a classical Russian piece. 

“Hm?” Ivan gazed his eyes towards you as you strided towards him. ‘I’m just happy to be in such serenity right now.’ Serenity? Your top lip curled to a look of confusion mixed with unintentional disgust, you glanced over at the radio which the music emitted from. Tchaikovsky. That is what was playing on the radio. To be honest, you never really cared for classic music, nor did it ever pique your interest, but the man beside you seemed to be enjoying it immensely. “Tchaikovsky?” You didn’t disconnect your focus from the stereo. ‘That’s what's playing.’ You pointed out.

“You recognize Tchaikovsky? That’s beautiful.” Your eyes made their way up to stare at Ivan, who had answered you with a peace of mind. “Yes, I do.” You said and leaned your arms up against the edge of the table, staring at the radio. ‘Not a lot though, I just hear his music here and there.’ “Hm.” All Ivan did was hum in response, his mind totally detached from whatever you were saying. 

The sound of the music engulfing the silence around you, you glanced up at Ivan, arms still crossed over the table. You couldn’t help but notice his most distinctive features; lengthy silver hair, long eyelashes, icy silver eyes, you didn’t know how you hadn’t noticed how beautiful he was, it was almost as if you were drawn to him, your eyes unable to leave his view. Your e/c eyes pierced his direction in uttermost quietness, focus capturing his appearance and physic physique. 

The man must’ve sensed your eyes glaring at him because he slowly turned his focus to you, eyes narrowed slightly and the same joyous smile plastered to his lips. “You are staring at me so intensely right now…it’s almost unnerving.” His voice didn’t falter as he spoke so happily for somebody who was supposedly unnerved. ‘Almost as if you're admiring me.’

Your eyes opened the tiniest bit when Ivan proclaimed his assumption, there was no way his ability helped him read the emotions of others; “no, that’s not it.” You chuckled awkwardly and shook your head as you denied, “No…you’ve got it wrong.” You quickly tried to cover yourself up as if what you had done was nothing less than a sin. 

Your attempt to knock back his accusations must’ve amused the man, because Ivan simply laughed joyfully. “I think it’s cute.” Cute? That was the last thing that you were expecting to hear. You found your cheeks becoming a little warmer and your heart beating a little faster, it’s probably because you’ve been overworking yourself, definitely not because Ivan’s remark had flustered you immensely. “Cute?” The word managed to leave you mouth unbroken and as clear as it could be as you tried to hide back your blush by covering the lower half of your face with the palm of your hand. 

Ivan smiled and nodded his head, a bit amused by your reactions. “Yes, it’s cute to see you becoming so flustered. I never knew that I had that effect on you.” He spoke out loud and reached out to shut off the music playing from the radio. ‘I also never knew that you have that exact same effect on me.’ The man took a few steps closer to you, his eyes tracing your expression that flaunted your face. 

What? You quickly removed your hand from face, when your eyes gazed down to the man’s lower half, you knew exactly what he was talking about. That blush that once grazed your cheeks had reappeared, but this time stronger, you felt your body heat up and your heart beat a beat or two faster. In all fairness, you didn’t know how to react, you worked with the RITHOTD for the leader, Fyodor’s sake, not for anyone else’s and especially not for your subordinate, yet all you could muster was something more absurd than you thought. “Would you like me to assist you with that problem?” Your eyes gestured down to the tent that strained against the crotch of his trousers. 

The long haired man gave you a blank stare, the same unnerving smile painted to his lips as if he had no care in the world. “I would very much like that.” That sentence is what you thought you imagined, there was no way that you heard the man correctly. You raised an eyebrow, your eyes slightly wider than usual and you muttered back, “What?...what did you just say?” Ivan chuckled, amused. “I said, I would very much like you to solve this predicament.” 

It seemed you were not imagining things, and what you heard is exactly what was said. Your face faltered into something fused with both eagerness and embarrassment; quickly that embarrassed emotion left your body completely when Ivan snatched your wrist and pulled you towards him, slamming his lips against yours in a heated and passionate kiss. ‘What the actual fuck?!” Is what you were thinking, you wouldn’t dare speak it out loud, and especially as you didn’t want to end the kiss you were currently stuck in. 

A soft moan slipped past your lips and your arms made their way up, coiling around Ivan’s neck and you neared your body into his. The latter slowly wrapped his arms around your waist as he deepened the kiss, lowly groaning into your mouth when he felt your arms tighten around his neck. “Come ~...” Ivan slowly took your hand in his and drew his lips from yours, strings of saliva connecting the two of you together. “We can’t let anyone, especially my master, see this ~”

ʚɞ

You had no idea how you had gotten into the current situation that you were in, one moment you were learning how to prepare tea for the leader of the RITHOTD, the next you were pinned up against a wall down the most vacant, most darkest hallway with Ivan peppering your neck with soft but rough kisses. Your breath kept hitching every time you felt the man’s lips come in contact with your skin, your arms snaked around his neck, one leg around his waist to draw him in closer to you; the sight was beyond scandalous. 

“I-Ivan? ~” You let out a raspy moan, your cheeks flushed a light pink hue and small beads of sweat trickled down the nape of your neck, the ever-growing arousal that pooled between your thighs was getting harder and harder to ignore. Ivan stopped kissing you and lifted up his head, his light-coloured eyes gazing into yours. “Yes, my love? ~” 

Your eyelids fluttered, your eyes threatening to close each time you tried to blink back your hazy vision. Your hand made its way to the back of the man’s head, your fingers entangling with his soft hair. “Fuck me already ~...ruin me…right here, in this hallway ~” Your tone was more than desperate, your grip against his hair tightened, forcing a silent moan from the man. “I don’t care who sees us ~...”

The last sentence that left your mouth was all Ivan needed to hear, his hands tightened around your waist as one left your hip to pull down both your bottoms and panties. “Oh, my ~” The man tilted his head with a smirk playing on his lips, his eyes studying your wetness that slicked down your inner thighs. “You really are desperate for me ~ That pleases me ~” 

Your eyebrows furrowed and your lust filled eyes pierced into his. You suddenly grasped the man’s hand in yours and shoved it between your desperate, shaking thighs. “Now, Ivan…fucking destroy me ~” Your words came out all slurred and muddled, you couldn’t even hear how pathetic you sounded, begging like some desperate whore. Who did you think you were?

Desire lingered in the man’s eyes and reflected into your own, the same smirk plastered to his lips, Ivan then grabbed and lifted one of your legs, giving him a wider capacity of access to your now exposed pussy. “My love ~ I’ve been dying to be able to do this to you…and now I can finally die in peace ~”  both his index and ring finger slowly traveled past your folds, taking extra time when teasing at your entrance. 

You panted out hot and heavy breaths, your hand shooting up to his shoulder to help you keep your balance. You were over agitated, breathless, and just blatantly desperate. “Just fuck me already!” A seductive and sultry chuckle left Ivan’s mouth when he gave a small nod of his head and just so suddenly slammed two fingers into your slick moistened cunt. The moan that exited your mouth was broken and shaky, your legs felt like they were about to collapse on you, all you could do was tighten your arms around the man’s neck and take in all that he was giving you. 

The sound of your heavy breathing and soft moaning could’ve been heard throughout the dark corridor. Ivan observed your fucked out, delirious expression with a visibly please smirk across his face. “It’s alright, my love ~” He neared his face closer to yours, fingers pumping deep inside of your warm, tight cunt that was convulsing around his lithe digits, he softly hushed into your ear, his warm breath tickled the side of your face as he spoke. “If you can quiet down…just maybe I’ll give you something more ~” You knew what more meant, it was painfully obvious, your eyes peeper open and you slowly glanced down. With the sight before you, you definitely had to keep it down. 

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆

[paintedgrilledcheese]

The inspection

(Ivan has to deal with a OSHA inspector)

Everything was pure bliss. Ivan twirled around the slick floors with the mop, as he dance to the classical music on the gramophone. There was no better way to do chores than with the sound of strong violins colliding with the loud brass instruments. An graceful and elegant battle between the instruments. Symphony No. 10 in E minor, Op. 93: II. Allegro. One that Ivan has heard many times before. He could feel his left hand subconsciously move to the position of the cords as if he was playing his violin along.

The music was loud and fierce, Ivan couldn't hear anything else. That is until the faint sound of the company's phone range, snapping Ivan out of his blissful state. He spun on his toes to the phone, holding the mop in one hand and gracefully scooping up the phone in the other. His hair waterfalls down to his side as he tilted his head.

"This is the RITHOTD, Head chamberlain speaking. How may I assist you?" Ivan asked, having perfected that introduction hundreds of time. His voice was soft and elegant.

The voice on the other end sounded high pitched and feminine. "Hello? This is Ms. Cheese. I work for OSHA. I uh... I been assigned to come inspect the RITHOTD work place. I don't know if I was supposed to come unannounced but I felt bad if I didn't give you guys a heads up about your appointment. So I'll be coming around at 3, be prepared." She spoke, unsure and unprofessional. As if this was her first day on the job.

She then hung up quickly, barely giving Ivan time to process what she just said. After a moment of realization, Ivan looked around to see what he needs to prepare and clean before inspection. He wasn't too worried. How could he be worried when he's in pure bliss 24/7? The music resumed, he glides over the wet floors as he continued to dance his way through his chores.

Soon it's 3 o'clock, perfect time for afternoon tea. No one else was at the base, at the moment. It was just Ivan and his music. Eventually the expected guest finally arrived. Upon opening the front door, Ivan found a small 4'11 women with big blue eyes and pink hair. She wore glasses and a orange vest with the words OSHA on the back. Ivan was a little taken aback to see he had to look down to make eye contact. Such small people.

"Alright it's OSHA INSPECTION TIME! You better be prepared!" She greeted a little loudly, his high pitched voice still prominent. This must be Ms. Cheese from over the phone. She tried to look serious but her big eyes were making it extremely difficult to seem intimidating.

"Prepared as always." Ivan replied with a hum and a smile, allowing Ms. Cheese in. Ms. Cheese has a glance around the entrance, carrying a sparkly blue gel pen with her and a notepad. She starts scribbling down some stuff. Actual words or not? Ivan doesn't know.

Ms. Cheese continued to scribble down her thoughts and observations. "Why are there firearms left out so haphazard for anyone to grab? This is dangerous for young children and workers. They should be locked away somewhere convenient and safe. Violation number one! Show me the kitchen." She scolded and demanded. Ivan felt some of his confidence shot down as they manged to already get a violation under 5 minutes.

"Ah- er- understood!" Now feeling awkward Ivan guided Ms. Cheese to the kitchen. She had a look around and smile in approval. Ivan took extra care and time working on the kitchen before inspection. He felt a little proud for his hard work.

"Hmmmm clean so far. You guys have a new fire extinguisher and the sprinklers aren't blocked.... but wait what is that?" Ms. Cheese turned her head towards something dead by the oven. Ivan's eyes widen, a rush of panic came over him as he saw the dead rat by the oven. "Can you explain to me why there's a dead rat here befor I give you a health violation?" Ms. Cheese demanded.

"..... Ah.... Must be one of master's-" Ivan cuts himself off, hoping the OSHA employee didn't hear him. The rat must have been one of Fyodor's. How it escaped it's cage, Ivan has no clue. He'll have to find a replacement from the sewers later. Ivan clears his throat. "Er, we were, filming! And we used that for... realism! No food is cooked without inspecting the area first." He lied.

It was such a obvious lie, anyone with two brain cells would have figured that out. But after staring at Ivan and back at the very dead rat, Ms. Cheese suddenly smiled. "Oh so it's just a prop! I see. Very well. This area has a clear pass." She goes back to scribbling on her notepad. She didn't even ask any further questions. It can't be that easy, right?!

Ivan blinked a few times in shock still, but who is he to complain when he just dodged a bullet back there. Ms. Cheese looked back at Ivan, after scribbling more, with a smile on her face. "May you please show me the bathroom as well? That area must be inspected as well." She politely asked, chewing on the tip of her pen.

Ivan though for a moment. The bathrooms were fairly clean, but he remembered that his bloody bandages were still hanging out the trashcan, since he forgot to change out the trash can. Ivan shakes his head, his hair long swaying side to side. "The bathroom is currently occupied! Would you like to inspect anywhere else, though?" He asked, trying to stall from showing her the bathroom.

Ms. Cheese chewed her pen more, tapping her fingers on her notepad. "Hmmm what does this company specialize in? I need to see the working conditions how the employees are being treated. You know, pay and wages, stuff like that." She answered with a shrug.

"Does terrorism count as a specialty?" Ivan muttered to himself before coughing purposely. "...Ch... Charity! We...- our leader- my master- is working to create a better world and also offers people a place to stay with better living conditions. His organisation is full of people he has helped. We work in return for food, clothes, etc. If we need to buy something, however, master is more than happy to hand us the money we need." Ivan explained.

He was trying so hard to not get this operation shut down or fired. He couldn't imagine being separated from Fyodor, all because of one little pink hair woman with half of a brain cell gave them a few violations. Then again she only gave one so far. But still, that's a lot of money already lost.

Ms. Cheese smiled, buying into Ivan's cover up stupid easily. "Oh how nice! I never heard of your charity work until now. It's so good to be provided for the unfortunate in a away that doesn't involve work place abuse." She goes back to scribbling on her notepad. Ivan had to restrain himself from laughing at the mention of non work place abuse.

Oh dear is she saw the true nature of this place for a second, they would have been shut down immediately. . The amount of times Ivan was allowed to whack his fellow coworkers with a metal tray was far to many. Not to mention the fact Fyodor was much worse when it came to his own men.

"Now may I ask you a few personal questions about the company? How do you get along with your coworkers?" Ms. Cheese asked curiously, still scribbling and chewing on her pen at the same time.

Ah yes, Ivan's coworkers. Most of them were tame and alright, though to add to the workplace abuse, he did kick a few down the stairs one time. Ivan smiles at the thought of his coworkers, all of them weren't bad. "I get along quite well! I often make them tea and things of the sort to bond with them." He answered with the same warm smile.

Ms. Cheese smiled in approval, continuing to ask more questions. "Great to here. Are your coworkers interesting in anyway? Any odd behaviors? I ran into one earlier. Though he's a little delusional and talks about birds a lot?"

Oh crap, she ran into Nikolai earlier?! When did this happened?! Ivan's smile became larger as he panicked internally, he would look like a mad man right now with his expression on his face. Stupid lobotomy, making him smile at the worst situations.

Odd behaviors? Hahaha that's so funny, Ivan thought to himself. If this place was anything it would be the jackpot of odd behaviors and suspicious activity. Heck Ms. Cheese is talking directly to the CEO of odd behavior.

"Oh, that's not our coworker, merely a friend of my master's. No odd behaviour here! We're all very sane people." Another lie he spewed, waving his hand dismissively. Ms. Cheese tilted her head to the side, pushing her glasses back up.

"Sane people huh? What about that Nathaniel guy who was pacing back and forth outside. He didn't look sane to me. Is

your boss providing any sort of therapy or

medication for this 'chairy'?" She assumed and asked suspiciously. She was actually starting to get suspicious. Looks like she has half a brain cell after all.

Ms. Cheese comment about Nathaniel made Ivan feel slightly upset. How dare she assume and offend one of his friends like that? Ivan frowned angrily. "It's very rude to assume he doesn't look sane, that's just how he is! >:(" Ivan defended.

Ivan then put a hand on his chest and proudly exclaimed, "And master does provide joy! I am actually one of the people master has made happy!" He said with pride. Glossing over the fact he had a lobotomy performed on him.

Ms. Cheese eyes widen and she held her palms up in a backing up motion. She didn't mean to offend Ivan or Nathaniel. "Oh my apologies. I was just concerned when saw his eyes. They seem hallowed and terror. It looked like he seen things." She starts to scribble on her notepad again, about to change topic. "So you said your master has made you happy? That is very good to see chairys like this can

provide resources and and joyful moods to the unfortunate without expensive medication or brain altering lobotomies."

She's so dumb! Ivan is crying on the inside. Girlie LOOK! Use your half of a brain cell and LOOK. How can she cleary not see the bandages around Ivan's head?! Is she blind?! That would explain the glasses she wears, but even those glasses can't even show her how oblivious she is!

It's so obvious! She quite LITERALLY look UP to have eye contact. The fact that she can't see his bandages just blows Ivan away from how dense this lady is!

Ivan starts to sweat at the mention of lobotomies and laughs nervously. "......Ahahah, of course not, that would be ABSURD. I mean-that's so silly, ahah wh- hah.-..imagine THAT." Ivan clasped his hands together and smiled. "Well! Are there any more questions?" He wanted to get this overwith quickly.

Ms. Cheese continued to chew her pen. "Two last things. I still haven't inspected the

bathrooms yet and I would like to meet your boss. Nothing to serious in meeting him. I just want to know what drives him to have such a wonderful charity like this :D But if he's not here or too busy that's alright." She was buying into all of it.

Oh thank God this inspection was almost over. Ivan has singlehandedly dodged 29492 bullets in less of a hour, he was quite impressed that he's managed to prevent the organization from being shut down so far. Fyodor better be proud of his hard work, if not at least Pushkin should.

"Unfortunately master is a very busy man, but his religious views drive him to be a good man! He believes people should not suffer from sin, and therefore he saves them." Ivan said with a smile, not mentioning that fact how Fyodor "frees" his victims from suffering and sin. "As for the bathrooms, right this way."

Ivan guides Ms. Cheese over to the bathroom, all sparkly clean from his chores earlier. Ivan stood in front of the trash can to hid his bloody used bandages from Cheese's sight while she gives the room a top down inspection.

Everything was looking good and she hum and approval. "Hmmm everything seems to be in fine and clean condition. All the cleaning products aren't so easily accessible and nothing seems to be broken. Oh but what's this?"

Out of EVERYTHING she could have spotted, of course she nitpick a tiny wet spot on the floor that wasn't dry yet from the mopping. "Tsk tsk tsk. No caution wet floor sign? Employees can easily slip and that wouldn't be good for the medical bill if they break their back. Tsk tsk tsk. Violation." She shook her head and scribbled down a violation on her not pad.

Ivan threw his hands up and huffed before collecting his cool and smiling again. "Oh, forgive me, I was rushing to prepare

everything for when you come along. I must have missed it, but I clean everything

thoroughly!" He defended.

"Hmmm well put a sign there next time." She replied before scribbling more for a long time. After a time of "deep thinking", even though there isn't a single thought behind those eyes, she turned back to Ivan.

"Alright, that concludes this company's 6 month OSHA inspection. So far this place seems to be standing well and only two violations, but nothing too bad to be shut down. I give this the stamp of approval." She torn off the page of her notepad and stamped it with a green approval stamp. She gave it to Ivan and who took it with curiosity.

It was all chicken scratch! He couldn't read any of this! But who was he to complain when they manged to pass. Ms. Cheese turned her heel to walk away, yelling out as she exits the building. "I shall be off! And next time I'll show up unexpectedly. Farewell, take care. Lock those fire arms away and buy some wet floor signs."

Just like that she was gone. "Farwell!" Ivan waved goodbye with a smile. But the moment that door closed her turned around and clutched his chest tightly, finally letting his guard drop and de-stressing. "How was that so easy?" He mumbled to himself before laying on the couch.

It's been less than a hour, but it felt like a whole day went by. He was exhausted. Perhaps he'll order take out for the men tonight.

The End.

[sora-human-rot]

"Ah, you did...? Who is your master...?"

Sora seems slightly more interested now. His eyes switch directly to Ivan's eyes.

"The man of the church used to say, that who is truly pure, will recognize the angels when they come back to the Earth. To save us.

I am not sure if I am pure... but I feel like you're one of them, mr. Ivan. Even if you yourself may not be able to see this..."

"I am so sleepy... but the snow makes it so uncomfortable... If I lie down on the floor, the snow will melt in my wounds and it hurts... so I need to sleep standing up."

[yumereblogs]

Port Mafia

@12spirits

Yvonne Schalk ▪︎ Cleaner

@angelicinvain

Diana Église ▪︎ Torture specialist

RITHOTD

@dear-retainer

Azra Artois ▪︎ Retainer

Government

@7floors

Dr. Sybil Lehrer ▪︎ Government researcher

Others

@doublealllost

Elias ▪︎ Mafia Executive

@profitovergames

Masahiko Takeda ▪︎ Businessman

@springisred

Elizaveta Belov ▪︎ rich

[star-seeking-stray]

Possible Rp Blog Poll

Detective Murase

Only showed up in Stormbringer, got killed off too early. Would be ooc as fuck.

He. Had. LORE (Minor but I swear it was there)

Leo Tolstoy

Evil option. He's evil. He gets people killed 100% percent. Not a good guy. No idea if I can even do this correctly

A RITHOTD (?) oc who shares Fyo's world-views to an extent / wants to cleanse the world of "sinners" (aka ability users) and has a very specific way in which he tries to achieve it

(Not a 100% sure WHEN I'd do the blog(s) but wanna see if anyone's interested-)

[paintedgrilledcheese]

"So you were still in Russia or at one of the RITHOTD bases?"

Ivan, where were you during the events of Dead Apple? Did Fyodor leave you in Russia? Where you with Fyodor, just chilling in another room? Or were you just hiding. Because I hate to break this to you, but I don't think you would have won against your own ability.

"Master had left me in charge of chores and making sure everything was spotless and in control while he was gone. Believe me, I would not attempt fighting against my own ability either."

[unfreezableoats]

Every single time Ivan & pushkin were there!

This is all official content I could find of them including (manga panels, wan, stageplay, anime, official art, promo, merch, ect)

Sorry if some clips are cut "weird", I originally posted this on twitter which has a time limit for videos but I included the full stageplay and cannibalism arc episodes if you prefer that

All anime clips are in dub. I can add sub later but It might take a while

I was considering not putting the cast member photos since I'm not really sure if they would be considered as official photos but I decided to anyways just in case

If I missed anything please let me know so I can add on to it!!

[shiveringgroovy]

cough. fanfic masterpost

read my fanfiction boy. all sfw. sometimes suggestive-ish :) SEND ME COMMENTS OR I WILL DIE OF EVERY DISEASE!!!!!

drabble requests open. mainly fyozai and siglai :)

Fyozai (did you guys know i like them)

Games Rated: T W/C: 1.3k M/M Rundown: meursault shenanigans, oneshot, fyodor and dazai play never have i ever except with sexual tension. and fyodor is down horrific and autistic

Short Writing Practice Rated: T W/C: 367 M/M Rundown: shitass drabble. they make out and dazai is annoying. i wrote this during a chemistry homework break.

Museum Date Rated: T W/C: 1.7k M/M Rundown: dazai breaks into fyodor's hotel and they go on a museum date. fyodor's old ass knows everything. philosophical yap sesh. they also KISS

Fyozai Yurification Beams Rated: T W/C: 1k F/F Rundown: YURI!!!! morning after cuddles and mild bickering. poor memory dazai is my religion btw if you even care

Parasitism Rated: M W/C: 1.3k M/M Rundown: Double suicide by fire and sloppy makeouts. Violence and death!

Ivan Goncharov's Scramble-tastic Sex Reassignment Surgery Rated: E (For graphic medical scenes and subject matter) W/C: Ongoing, TBD M/M for Fyozai, tagged as Other for whatever Ivan's got going on Rundown: Title is self-explanatory

Fyovan

Perks of Getting Your Frontal Lobe Scrambled Rated: M W/C: 2000 M/M but Ivan uses it/its pronouns Rundown: Fyodor cuts Ivan open for funsies

Siglai

Very Serious Title Rated: T W/C: 527 M/F (transfem sigma) Rundown: little drabble. again. sigma is put up with nikolai's shit

Fyobram

Damnatio ad Bestias Rated: M W/C: 2007 M/M Rundown: freeeakkaayyyy

Pushvan

RITHOTD if it was good Rated: G W/C: 250 M/M Rundown: drabble. sleepy ivan

[smillingsadist]

and chuuya meme cause i said so

[kikizoshi]

IRL photo of me trying to explain how BSD Pushkin isn't actually BSD Pushkin:

Does my headcanon involve an entire reworking of Fyodor's plans in Dead Apple, Shibusawa's (second) death, and common sense? Yes. But more importantly, does it come up with a plausible explanation for how Pushkin isn't actually Pushkin?

[paintedgrilledcheese]

Random Ivan Goncharov bsd headcanons

(Because there isn't enough content of him. Feel free to share some of your headcanons :D Perhaps this can become a list)

• He has everything scheduled and planned for his day and will follow all of it to the DOT. If 3 o'clock afternoon tea is planned, then you bet he would have everything already prepared.

• If the RITHOTD/DOA had an actual building hideout, like a nice one where everyone gets their own room, Ivan WILL barge into everyone's room just to deliver/ put away laundry. He doesn't like laundry laying around.

• Which brings another point, he doesn't like clutter or messy areas. He gets onto the other members about the importance of clean rooms and will criticize them if he finds a mess. Poor Nikolai had to hear the same lecture from Ivan many times before.

• Despite his constant state of bliss, whenever Ivan is faced with a situation that he can't control or solve, there is a chance he might laugh in distress. The louder and more uncontrollable his laugh is, the more distress he is in.

• Lastly, he HOGS the bathroom. He NEEDS to have an hour long bath/shower. Playing with rocks and in the dirt all day will get him dirty, so of course, he likes to wash up. He owns the most hair product and spends a long time brushing his hair.

[blorbostraydogs]

misc. Fyodor hcs

- He carved out the back of his bible to hide a small vial of poison

- Has a love/ hate relationship with the detective genre

- Part of his recruitment tactics for joining the RitHotD included at some point solving an ARG he made

[abilityforged-a]

last ooc post before i attempt to work on replies. 

but when Fy//odor met Sofia, the rithotd was still in its early life stages and there weren’t a whole lot of members.  Especially not ability users yet like Ivan and Pushkin.  But being located in Russia, I like to think of them as something similar to how the Thi/eves Guild was in Rift/en in Sk/yrim.  It gives off a rithotd vibe to me !  And how they were organized and got around. 

But F//yodor and his organization being petty thieves, they came up with suspicious amounts of money and other things.  

I don’t think he really had much of a home and he lived pretty close to poverty.  So the Rithotd was basically his home and where he spent most of his time.  He definitely did not get proper treatment for his health conditions and so even before he was in Japan he was very sickly.  

He wanted Sofia to join the rithotd eventually! But, that all went wrong after he talked her into murdering someone with him.  And really it was all down hill from there.  Fy//odor always had kind of a God complex because of the religious influences in his life and what he knew of his ability... but after his whole ordeal with Sofia and the religious figure they murdered it just got worse.

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

Fyodor: *is a complete dickhead and the worst and evillest character in the series*

Me: *makes up a full in depth AU where he becomes a dad with the other rithotd's*