#Saeran x Reader

[stxrrydreamss]

“Do you ever feel lonely?”

Warnings?: Fluff, angst, suggested breakup, and kissing

Summary: You are reninicising your first date after you two break up, thinking about how it came full circle.

This was inspired by my and ex and I’s first date. I thought you guys might like this as an x reader.

“Do you ever feel lonely?”

I turned quickly toward the man standing next to me in my driveway. It was our first date, and I felt an overwhelming sense of security. I couldn't help but feel optimistic that he was the one for me. He said things I had always longed to hear, which I thought existed only in the fictional stories I enjoyed reading online. I had never imagined that I could experience such a moment in real life.

"Yeah, more than I'd like to admit," I replied softly, gazing toward the bug slowly making its way across the driveway below me.

"I can help with that," he whispered softly as his right arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me in closer. I felt the quick beating of my heart against my chest and a rush of warmth flooding through me. This sensation was new to me, but I fully welcomed it. Everything about him, our date, and his words felt like a beautiful dream. It was an entirely new experience for me, and it caught me off guard.

As time passed by, he held me close, and we leaned against a nearby vehicle in the driveway. The stars twinkled in the night sky above us while the calming notes of "Star Shopping" by Lil Peep filled the air. Our quiet conversations felt like a reunion of close friends, covering a wide range of topics.

In a quiet, unexpected moment, he softly asks, "May I kiss you?"

I usually don't kiss on the first date, but that evening everything just felt so right. I felt a strong sense of trust and comfort with him, and his affection made me feel completely at ease.

An anxious 'Y-Yeah,' escaped my lips as I felt a rush of intense emotions in my chest, causing a slight tremble. I closed my eyes in nervous anticipation as he tenderly placed a hand under my chin, lifting my head to meet his gaze before his lips softly pressed against mine. It wasn't a hungry kiss, but rather one filled with undeniable passion, igniting a desire for more. In that moment, I realized that I was completely captivated by him. As we parted, a giddy smile spread across my face, and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him, resting my face against his chest before tilting my head up to look at him.

His words brought me so much comfort, "You are truly adorable, especially with those beautiful eyes," he said with a gentle chuckle. Then, he kindly kissed my forehead.

I still hold the memory of a love that once captivated my heart, but as with all beautiful experiences, it eventually came to an end. The aftermath left me feeling deeply abandoned, more so than I had ever felt before.

Eren, Armin, Jean, Hawks, Aizawa, Gojo, and Geto.

[natasha-in-space]

✦ In The Dark ✦

Pairing: Suit!Saeran/gn!reader.

Summary: Power outages are never a pleasant hurdle to deal with, especially in a thunderstorm. Having to keep an eye on an annoying toy like you on top of that is a disaster waiting to happen. But Saeran is stubborn, and so are you.

Notes: 'Realizing you've reached the point of no return' promt for anon! Some heavy kissing and lots of conflicting feelings involved. You and Saeran have a rocky dynamic.

AO3 Link - 4k words.

Credit: dividers by @/saradika-graphics.

"For God's sake, will you just shut the hell up already!?" 

Saeran's voice rang out harshly, the high-pitched tone bouncing off the walls of your room and hurting his own ears with its volume. The deafening rumble of thunder rattling the entirety of Magenta to its very foundation right after felt almost like a wordless retaliation of Mother Nature herself in response to his outburst. He certainly interpreted it that way. Right now, it felt like everything was purposefully trying to get under his skin. And it was working. 

Despite his full intention of hopefully scaring you off enough to finally make you go silent on him, his voice came out way harsher than he intended. Which only added to Saeran's steadily growing restlessness and frustration as he turned away from you, raking a hand through his tousled hair for the upten time already, his fingers shaky and his knees weak. 

He never liked rainstorms, and he especially did not like thunderstorms. No matter how old he got and how strong he grew, one boom of thunder would instantly send his heart flying up into his throat, making it hard to breathe. He wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and slither away into some faraway dark corner where it's safe. And that's no way for the strongest member of Mint Eye to think or feel. 

Saeran hated rainstorms because they were a cruel reminder of a weakness he couldn't overcome, no matter how hard he tried. 

He never liked you, either. Not one bit. In fact, he despised you. You were a damn thorn in his side, nothing but stubborn and infuriating since day one of his introduction to you. Always having way too much to say and refusing to back down no matter how hard he pushed. It was like the two of you were always at each other's throats, bickering and fighting over the smallest of things. And, really, that would be fine with him. Hell, that would be great, actually. Saeran would love nothing more than to laugh straight in Ray's face the moment his precious innocent angel turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

No, what he hated the most about you, was how, despite all your senseless squabbling with him, you were never truly cruel to him. You would throw his harsh words and insults right back into his face, but you never put him down. You would get smart with him for the sake of nothing but getting on his nerves, but you never kicked him when he was down. He couldn't understand you. How you could be so damn assertive and cocky without having to be cruel like him.

Much like rainstorms, you were a constant glaring reminder of his weaknesses. It goes without saying that putting the two together would leave him on edge, to say the least. 

So the fact that he was now pretty much stuck alone with you in the cramped space of your room for God knows how long? With nothing but your annoying presence, your petty comments, the stupidly pink colors of your room, and your maddening scent to keep him company?

To say that Saeran was in a sour mood would be like saying nothing at all.

Of course, no one was making him stay here. But he wasn't naive enough to let you out of his sight during a power outage. Like hell he would. He just knew you'd try to do something stupid and annoying, as you always do. Like escaping. Or making him look bad in front of the Savior on purpose as revenge for everything he put you through. Or sabotaging their paradise by seeking out that cursed liar that was like a cockroach you couldn't kill no matter how much you stomp on it with the heel of your boot. Just because you never tried doing any of that before didn't mean he would let his guard down for you. He knew you'd take advantage of that as soon as you could.

Not on his watch, you won't. He was going to sit right here with you and watch over your every move until he could continue to do so from his cameras like usual. Even if the sight of you was as irritating as a fly buzzing in front of the screen. 

Though what he truly hated the most about this entire predicament was how you somehow managed to make him look like the more anxious one between the two of you. 

Because he wasn't anxious.

Not one bit. 

And the booming sounds of thunder rumbling through Magenta had no effect on him. 

Nor was he on edge because of the storm outside throwing long branches of surrounding trees against your window with every gust of wind.

It was you.

It was always you.

Everything was your fault.

“-No, I will not shut up,” you grumbled, pulling him out of his angry spiral. Your arms were crossed over your chest defiantly as you huffed and shifted in the chair you were seated in, your eyes following his every move as he paced around your room like a lion in a cage. The chair creaked and groaned under your weight, the sound only irritating him further. A small part of him thought of stealing that damn chair from you and making you stand just for the sake of it, but that was way too childish even for him. At least he could see that it was kind of uncomfortable for you. The back wasn't tall enough to reach your shoulders correctly, making your back a bit stiff. Or maybe it was his presence making you tense up so much. He could live with that. Though, that self-assured look you were giving him was really getting on his nerves. “It’s not my fault you guys forgot to schedule a thunderstorm into your plans. And I'm not forcing you to stay here, either. So quit yelling at me already.”

Did you have to always talk back to him like that?

"Well, it's not my damn fault either,” he snapped back at you as he moved away from the wall he was currently leaning against, stomping up to your bed, a heavy sigh escaping his lungs, betraying the exhaustion he was feeling on the inside. God, he hated how soft and inviting that bed of yours looked. Like a forbidden fruit calling out for him to give in and try a taste of its promise of rest. He hated how you could snuggle up under those plush bedsheets comfortably while he was left to sleep, sitting at his desk for thirty minutes at most. Suffering from nightmares more often than not on top of that. So, he falls back onto your bed unceremoniously, feeling the soft material welcome his added weight as it dips under him.

He was only able to lie back for a minute, though, your scent quickly assaulting him stronger than ever before, making him get up again and start pacing around your room, agitation rolling off of him in waves. His irritability was increasing by the second, and you were the only one he could turn his anger towards. As you often were.

“But you're still pissing me off.”

“-Oh, I’m pissing you off, am I?” 

His head snapped in your direction, watching you stand up from your seat, crossing your arms again. Deep down, he knew he was being unfair to you, really. Of course he knew that. Saeran wasn't an idiot, nor was he naive. In a way, that was the point of it all. And he sure hoped you would finally break and prove him right. Give him something he could throw back into Ray's stupid face next time he whines about you being this devoted and perfect angel that cares for them in a way no one else did. 

That was just a load of bullshit.

So, he let you walk up to him, a heated glare to your eyes that rivaled his own. Some part of him was expecting you to hit him, his muscles tightening up under his tight suit like a coiled spring, fully ready on jerking away and covering his face in a movement that was way too familiar to him. Instead, you simply leaned towards him, backing him up against the wall until his back gently bumped against the smooth surface, your hands now resting on both sides of his arms, caging him in. Though, there was still a significant distance between the two of you. You weren't necessarily looking down at him, nor were you trying to make him shrink away from you. 

A big part of him wished you did.

“You’re the one who came here, Saeran. I told you I wouldn't do anything. You just never listen to me." Your annoyed voice practically hissed into his ear, your breath fanning across his skin in warm puffs of air, contrasting against the anxious chill overtaking his body. He suppressed a shiver. He figured it was a shiver of disgust. It must have been. He sneers, his nose scrunching up in displeasure as he returns your heated glare with one of his own, his shoulders squared and his chin raised up high, refusing to show any weakness. 

“What, and listen to you? Don't make me laugh." Saeran mocked, pushing back against you, his eyes narrowing with simmering frustration that was just waiting to spill free, like a bubbling cauldron slowly coming to a boil. He leaned in so he could be eye-to-eye with you, not being intimidated in the slightest. Because that's what you were doing to him, surely. Trying to intimidate him. Scare him off. Break him. Well, he wouldn't let you. He tilted his head to look at you, his gaze filled with a silent challenge. “Forgive me for not taking orders from someone who's only good enough to be a helpless prince/ss and a useless toy."

A cocky smirk pulled at the corners of his lips as another teasing comment flew off the tip of his tongue with ease, fully intent on getting under your skin and riling you up further. Although his tone was mocking, his body was tense, his palms sweaty as he balled his hands up into tight fists. You backing him into a wall with your face so close to his didn't help at all with the rising tension in his muscles whatsoever. If anything, it made it worse. 

He was struggling to gather his thoughts, which only made him feel even more angry. Both with you and himself. He was usually very in charge of himself when he was in front of the other believers, but having you here—being pressed right up against him like this—left him completely unprepared. He had to struggle to stop himself from staring at your lips, a notion that scared and confused him all the same.

Much to his frustration, however, your lips only tugged upwards with a slight smirk of your own in response to his attempts at getting back at you. The fact that he almost had to look up at you in order to even glare at you properly pissed him off quite a bit. He did not like feeling small. He wanted you to think that he was big and imposing. Not someone who could be backed into a corner and looked down at. But you kept him firmly against the wall, preventing him from walking away without you directly letting him. It was supposed to be the other way around. And, in a way, he recognized that this was not the first time you were like this. Only your roles were reversed. And now it was you making him feel smaller than he really was. 

As his head tilted back, your own leaned in even closer to him, the smirk on your face only growing bigger. He'd like to say that it was cruel and mocking, but it was really more playful and amused. Which wasn't much better, considering the circumstances.

“...You sure have a sharp tongue, I'll give you that.”

He was making a genuine effort to ignore you now. He really was, but he felt his control slipping through his fingers like sand as your face got so impossibly close to his. He shifted against you, his jaw locked in place as he stubbornly looked away from you now instead of holding your gaze, not wanting to give you the satisfaction of seeing him break. In part, because he was breaking. His breathing was starting to get a little labored as he tensed, his arms twitching with the need to either pull you closer and pin you against this damn wall to show you who's really in charge here or grab you by the waist and shove you away so that his heart stopped beating so impossibly heavy in his chest. He didn't know which one of the two he would choose when push comes to shove, and that indecisiveness was making him more anxious than he was willing to admit. 

“And you're acting like you're in charge, stupid toy. Again.” His retort wasn't nearly as sharp of a response as he was hoping for, but his brain was far too jumbled to come up with anything more coherent. 

Your smirk faded and a frustrated frown took its place. Despite his initial glee at your annoyance with him, he really didn’t like it when you challenged him or disrespected him like this. Then again, he didn't like you no matter what you did. The main reason your presence was so damn infuriating to him. You looked like you really wanted him to shut up. A sentiment that was mutual on his part. But before he could muster up some other cold remark to crush that spirit of yours, you suddenly placed one of your hands down on his hip without giving him much of a warning. His breath stuttered slightly in his throat, his fingers twitching at his sides as he looked down at your face, eyes widening. The force with which he was clenching his jaw was causing it to ache slightly, but he refused to relax.

What were you getting at here? And why did your touch feel like hot iron being pressed up into his side? Or was it his body that was suddenly far too warm for comfort?

What were you doing to him...? 

You leaned in even further until your face was almost level with his, your breath mixing with his and fanning against his skin gently. 

“...Watch it. Or I might just shut that sharp mouth of yours up myself.” Your voice lowered into a low whisper as you spoke, a quiet warning. Or a promise. He couldn't really tell. Being so close to you made it more difficult to think clearly. He opened his mouth to say something, to protest against your audacity to speak to him in such a bold manner, yet nothing but a shaky exhale came out. His mind felt too empty and full at the same time, his eyes subconsciously darting down to your lips for the second time. A notion that you definitely took notice of, judging by how intently those eyes of yours were watching him. When the thick silence between the two of you remained unbroken for another long minute, you continued, your thigh now gently and slowly sliding between his legs to rest your knee against the wall behind him, bringing your body that much closer to him. Your scent hit his nostrils like a hurricane that made his head spin. "Or maybe... that's what you want me to do...? To make you stop thinking for a while?" 

He knew you wanted him to shut up and let you win this. But he was not going to let you. And this ploy of yours, whatever it was, was bound to fail. So, he was quick to open his mouth to retort with some sort of insult that would hopefully put you in your place. That’s when he saw it in your eyes. A sort of 'screw it' look, one you'd get when you felt like you had nothing to lose. And then you leaned forward just a tiny bit further and took hold of his chin with your free hand, making him look at you directly. He was prevented from doing or saying anything more by you practically slamming your lips against his, making him gasp sharply against your mouth.

It killed any words he had on his tongue. It took Saeran a second to process what you were-

Oh.

It was like a switch got flipped off inside his head. One part of him was utterly stunned and lost. The last thing he expected was for you to go and kiss him. Without him prompting for it or you pleading for your sweet Ray to return. Was this what you meant when you said you were going to shut him up? He knew of screaming at someone or hitting them to do that, but kissing? There must be something seriously wrong with you. 

And what's worse is that you were not kissing him like you kissed Ray out in the garden. This was rougher, more fervent, and raw. This was a memory being created between him and you. Not a recreation of something that already happened. And Saeran did not know how to deal with that. How to accept that you were kissing him. As Saeran. The same Saeran that did everything he possibly could to make you break, to hurt you, to use you to feel strong and invisible. 

Your lips were warm and soft against him, even as you pressed them against him with more force than he expected. There was no pain in this action. He didn't know much, if anything, about kissing. What to do, or how to reciprocate. But a big part of him expected you to sink your teeth into his lip and draw blood. You didn't. You were simply brushing your lips against his, the hot touch making his blood boil in his veins. You didn't go any further than that, starting to pull back from him all too soon. Maybe because he just stood there, frozen as a statue.

He didn't want that. 

He didn't want to confront what you just did or what it meant. 

He didn't want to admit to himself that he wanted more—to explore what this connection between you would bring. A connection between him and you. Between Saeran and you. He refused to admit that he wanted to know what it feels like to be Saeran, and not a tool or a shield.

That's a wish he couldn't allow himself to fulfill. And in some backwards streak of desperation to avoid dealing with all these feelings that were about to swallow him whole, he refused to let this end.

He switches immediately, his hand moving to the back of your head as he pulled your body flush against his and chased after your lips before you could pull back from him completely. He didn't give his action much thought. It was clumsy and desperate, his movements making it crystal clear he had no idea what he was doing, teeth clashing together and lips smacking at an awkward angle. He hated that you had the upper hand on him even here. You seemed surprised by his rather intense reciprocation, a muffled noise of surprise escaping you, but you don't push him away. You kissed him back, your own hand raising to cup his cheek, and he did his best to follow your movements, copying your motions the best he could. 

His hand on the back of your head grabbed a fistful of your hair, tugging on it slightly, making you emit a brief hiss into his mouth, one that he hungrily swallowed, his heart left stuttering in his chest for a completely different reason from before. It made him feel alive. He wanted more of it. More of you.  His other hand found your thigh on a primal whim, and he grabbed at it absentmindedly, to which you lifted it up to wrap it around his waist, the increased closeness between you two making him shudder against you, something between a whine and a growl rumbling at the back of his throat. He was not thinking clearly at all; he just knew he wanted you to be as close to him as possible right now.

To make the deafening thundering of his heart against his ribcage draw out the roaring of the storm outside that kept him so on edge in the first place. To stop him from thinking. He wanted his head blissfully empty for once in his miserable existence.

Only you.

Your touch.

Your warmth.

Your smell.

You.

He pushed you backwards, breaking the kiss for just long enough to stumble you both to the bed, pushing you down onto your back without a word being spoken, and climbing on top of you immediately.

You managed a quiet grunt, your eyes widening as he climbed on top of you. Feeling your shared weight dip the soft blankets and bedsheets of the bed, he let out a small noise of protest as you wordlessly rest your palms against his chest, preventing him from diving for another kiss with you. Your lips were parted as you finally regained your breathing a bit. Whether that was from the kiss itself or the sheer emotional intensity of what this all meant for you both from then on, he didn't know. A soft, slightly shaky exhale escaped you both almost in unison, and he was now left to stare down at you as your chest rises and falls slowly. Your expression was a mix of surprise and desire as you looked up at him, stunned and mesmerized. And that... scared him. It scared him because he hadn't expected you to like being close with him like that. He wasn't Ray right now. He wasn't even trying to pretend to be Ray for you. He was just... Saeran. In all his messiness and ugliness. 

And, most of all, it scared him because it felt so goddamn good. Because your warmth made all the buzzing thoughts that were constantly screaming at him at the back of his own skull quiet down. You were crumbling his fragile facade into a thousand pieces. And you were simultaneously making him feel more at ease with that than he ever felt.

He definitely was not expecting you to be so bold, either. It goes without saying that his goal of making you terrified of him has failed rather spectacularly. 

Your hand found its way to his waist again, resting just over his hip. Surely you could feel just how thin and boney he was under this tight-fitting suit. The truth of him being far weaker than he let on. But you didn't grab at him, nor did you push him off. Your fingers just squeezed him enough for him to feel the heat from your palm seeping through the multiple layers of clothing, soothing his cold skin.

“...What happened to the snarky comments? Feeling a little speechless now, are we?” you flirted, breaking through the silence, your voice coming out in a breathless murmur. The hand on his hip moved and settled over his stomach, with your thumb tracing a small circle against him. He shivered, his breath hitching sharply.

He had a hard time overlooking just how good you looked sprawled beneath him like him. The sight alone was making his suit feel a bit hotter than it should. You looked almost ethereal like this. Nothing but the faint light from the window eluminating your features, an occasional flash of lightning giving him just the briefest of glimpses of you as a whole. Your lips parted just slightly, reddened in color from the heated kiss you've just shared with him, your cheeks a noticeably deeper shade than they were before. Your eyes half-lidded and twinkling as they looked back at him. Seeing him. Not Ray. Him. 

He made you look like this. 

Saeran swallowed, his hands shaking as they rested against the plush mattress on either side of your head. He knew, in that singular moment, as he tried his damnest to even out his breathing, that there was no coming back from this. You saw his weakness, and he did nothing against it. 

And he liked it. 

"You... I hate you," he muttered, his voice hoarse and shaky, barely audible over the sound of rain drumming against the window.

"No, you don't," you simply responded, your free hand reaching up to cup his cheek, your thumb swiping just under his eye. He grabbed at your hand, keeping it there. He did not argue with you.

"...Kiss me again." 

[mystmesstolemysoul]

What if MC had no choice but to reset? What if, after enough cycles through each story, they know exactly which night they'll go to sleep next to their love then wake up all alone with a text telling them to go to an address they already know by heart. What if MC was cursed with repeating the same events over and over again, falling in love but never getting to grow beyond a certain point with the love of their life?

(lil drabble below the cut. There's a little bit of reset theory sprinkled in, along with a smidge of reference to a song I think goes with MysMes perfectly)

Which guy I'm talking about is intentionally vague so you can imagine your fave <3

Angst with a happy? bittersweet? ending

Not proofread, I don't have time for that shit, sorry lol

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The first time it happened, it was jarring. A panic setting in as you woke up, back in your old old apartment, no sign of him anywhere. Had it all been a dream? Surely not.

Then came the text, and it all came flooding back. What was happening?

You were less fearful this time as you walked up to Rika's apartment, even knowing all that you did now about the mysterious circumstances that had brough you here.

When they, the RFA, your family, greeted you as a stranger, it stung in a painfully nostalgic way. Had they really forgotten all about you? But it wasn't that; they hadn't known you in the first place.

You did some things differently, this time around. You gave more attention to one of the members that you'd brushed off the first time. Confusion clouded you on day five when everything began to drift away from the story you remembered. Despite this change, your new bachelor managed to sweep you off your feet, though you always felt guilty whenever he, your lover from the first time, called or texted. You felt guilty having to push him away to stay loyal to your new man.

You had almost forgotten about that jarring day when everything had reset. Almost. Until it happened again. You were more prepared this time, but felt almost exceedingly empty as you read the text asking for your help. You wanted to ignore it, to stop this toying with your heart. But you knew you couldn't stay away from the RFA. You were bound, heart and soul. So you did as 'Unknown' asked.

You began to dread it more and more each new route, never knowing when you were going to wake up alone and start the cycle all over again. It became numbing. Heartbreaking. But you could never stay away.

Eventually, you'd seen every possible way it could end. There had been a time you'd hoped to find a road that wouldn't end. A path that wouldn't lead to you waking up alone, forced to greet your closest friends as new strangers. But you'd long since given that up.

You'd seen every success, every possible failure. Felt every swell of new love, every shattering heartbreak. Made friends, made enemies, just for it all to be washed away.

There was a time when you'd begun to intentionally run everything into the ground. It was easier to repeat random 5-day loops than to go months, years, before having it all ripped away from you. But bringing them heartbreak hurt you more.

You were careful now. So careful. Especially with him.

You could never bring yourself to be careless with him. You didn't know why, but after a while, he began to stick out to you more than all the rest. No matter which path you walked, he always caught your eye. The way he said things, his way of thinking, how he tried to look out for you in his own little way.

So you pursued him. You'd won his heart before, many times, but you did it again with a purpose. You knew it wouldn't last. You knew one day, you'd wake up and it would all be over. But you loved him. You really loved him. And when the night came that you knew would be the last, you tried desperately not to sleep. But it was as if some curse took over you, forcing your eyes to close. When you awoke, it was all gone.

But you wouldn't let that stop you. Again, you followed him, your north star, your guiding light. Again, you won his heart. And again, you woke up. It was the third time when you noticed something different. Just a moment. A spark. A faint look in his eyes when you saw him face to face, some wondrous shock, as if he couldn't believe you'd chosen him. More than that usual look in his eyes when he saw you for what you believed to be his first time.

But the look wasn't enough for you to say something. Not yet. But a fourth time, you chose him. Then a fifth. Till finally, on the sixth time through, he gave you a look as if you'd gone insane, and he loved you for it. You'd asked without thinking. "You remember, don't you?"

He hadn't had to speak a word for you to know the answer. You knew him too well. He woke up alone, the same as you. And you loved him fiercer. Again and again and again, determined now to always choose him. No matter how repetitive, no matter how painful, you couldn't choose anyone but him, knowing he'd have to watch you fall in love with another man if you chose any other path.

When the fateful night settled in, wrapped up in each others arms, you were silent. You both knew what this night meant. When the daylight comes I'll have to go. You felt his tears trickle into your hair. "I don't wanna start all over."

And you didn't either. "I know, baby, I know." You held him so close, promising, "I'll choose you. I'll always choose you." And you meant it. You'd never be able to make it through now without him. You had him, now, and you weren't letting go.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close, 'cause in the daylight we'll be on our own, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close.

[seggsychick]

Imagining Saeran gaining healthy relationship weight has me FERAL GRRRHCDTBIGAFVJINCGIGGITYDYFGY

[m1ster1e]

How have I not written more fanfic

[marshmallowprotection]

Sambucus

Pairing: Reader/[Suit] Saeran Fandom: Mystic Messenger. Description: A miserable boy who desperately believed in happily ever after knew he wasn’t meant to be the prince, no matter how much he dressed himself as one, after all. Word Count: 3,150

[Read On AO3]

His blood was burning hot in his ears.

How dare you not play along with his game? How dare you question him and ignore his warnings? How dare you act as though you saw a difference between him and Ray? 

The Savior herself didn’t care for the distinction, lauding them as she liked, using the name she wanted no matter who stood in front of her, thinking that would beckon him to come forward. That wasn’t how it worked, but she didn’t care, pressuring them to feel confused and also unsure of themselves when she used their identities against each other. Saeran knew who he was, he was a sword and a shield, standing in the way of every obstacle that even dared to think it could destroy him or his Ray. 

That was his duty. It was his purpose to be strong enough to survive in a place that crushed Ray’s dreams underneath its heel. Ray was their heart and soul. He was the only one who was allowed to believe in dreams and fairytales, whereas Saeran’s only choice was to grit his teeth and bear the pain to ensure they didn’t lose their faith in goodness. This was the true power of Mint Eye’s paradise. 

A strength built on survival of the fittest. 

The only way to live in the Savior’s world was to become no better than she was. 

Ray wasn’t built to survive in a place like this forever, and as the Savior said, it was only a matter of time until he was destroyed because of it. It wasn’t his world. It was the Savior’s world, and her world was built to do damage to a fantasy like his… and yet, he just couldn’t stop dreaming of a world where the damned liar and traitor hadn’t abandoned them to rot, a world in which he could be with his family and extend a hand to the doll he had ensnared into his gleeful web of happily ever after. 

That wasn’t a world Saeran belonged in. 

Saeran didn’t belong in a world of fairytales and fantasy. He wasn’t born to extend a hand to a prince or princess in distress. He wasn’t put on this planet to relax in a garden with your eyes watching his every move in the hopes of being his next touch. He wasn’t created for happily ever after in the castle Ray built for you and you alone. He wasn’t allowed to have the same dream as Ray, because Ray’s dreams were intended to be nothing… but an impossible fever dream held out like a carrot on a string to lure an unsuspecting person into the Savior’s clutches. 

It was supposed to be impossible. 

You were never meant to return his fancy. 

And yet, you did. You clamored for his attention just as he did for yours. You smiled when he stumbled and offered your outstretched hand to let him see there was a gentleness in this world meant for someone as pitiful as him. You gave him something tangible, something he was never meant to have, the very carrot the Savior never intended to give him. All it took was a single bite of that damned carrot for Ray to consider changing his mind about paradise and their survival. 

You gave him hope. 

Hope was a dangerous, disgusting thing. Saeran knew it was incredibly risky to believe in a world beyond the walls of paradise. He'd like to tell himself it was safer to trust the devil he knew than the devil he didn't. It wasn’t hard to guess what the Savior wanted from them, and when he’d taken a moment to compare her familiar torture to the unknown of the agony Saejoong Choi might cause them if they left this place? It wasn’t hard to choose which one he thought he could handle for the rest of his days. 

They wouldn’t survive in the outside world for long, even if you’d given Ray that wretched hope to believe in circumstance rather than the odds of something going wrong, Saeran knew better than to believe you. 

After all, who was he if not the one who had been robbed of his hopes and dreams? Saeran was strong, Saeran was heartless, Saeran was cruel, and Saeran could chew up and spit out the monsters he feared the most because he listened to the Savior and did what had to be done. Now, Ray couldn’t do that. He couldn’t follow through, he could destroy plenty of enemies but he would never be able to get rid of them and send them to their graves. It was his disposition to believe in hope that caused that and it was Saeran’s job to shatter his little dreams before they became too big to control. 

They would ultimately survive to see the sunrise thanks to Saeran, but Ray wasn’t grateful for that. 

He sobbed, he cried, he wept, and he pleaded with Saeran not to destroy his things but if Saeran didn’t do so first, then the believers would, and if the believers didn’t crush him beneath their heel, then the Savior herself would take care of it. It was a nasty job, but a necessary one. Survival of the fittest, after all, didn’t care if you had hopes or dreams, it only cared if you could bare your teeth and fight to see the next day. 

Saeran made a grim tomorrow possible for the two of them, as much as Ray hated it, it was better to have a grim tomorrow than to have no tomorrow.

Saeran settled. 

Why couldn’t Ray?  

It was your fault, wasn’t it? You smiled brightly at him and told him he had a place in this world when no one else would. You fed him lies about the rest of the outside world, you told him he could survive as long as he held your hand, you told him stories of a world he dreamed of but could never have, and instead of crushing them as you were supposed to, you’d made him believe he could have everything he ever wanted in the palm of his hand if he just gave it a chance. 

A miserable chance? Saeran wanted to laugh in your face when you said those words. That world wasn't meant for us, and that was decided from the moment we were born. Do you think you can fill his mind with dreams he’ll never achieve to laugh in his face? How dare you tell him to believe in something we can never have? I’ll crush you beneath my heel and make you recant every. single. word. 

You refused to play his game in the chatroom, so he decided to take the game to you, instead. 

The door slammed open and shut as he entered your suite, “Princess, Ray’s face is here. Rise and welcome me, will you? I know you want to see your prince’s face.” 

You were pretending to be asleep in bed. His lungs were hot as he hadn’t stopped to catch his breath on the trek from his office to this room, but even as his chest rumbled with the burning ache for oxygen, he could see the way your body twitched in response to the thunder. It wasn’t just his body that was unable to stay still in the face of a threat, you weren’t that different than Ray was in that regard. You couldn’t hide your emotions… not even if you wanted to. 

Even if he didn’t know what those emotions in your eyes were, he craved to see them quiver in agony rather than stare at him in what he imagined to be contempt. You weren't as strong as you claim to be, and he wanted to make a show of it. He would prove to himself that you didn’t care for Ray, you only cared for the attention he gave you, and once he had that proof in hand, he’d know for sure what you were. 

A liar, no better than Jihyun Kim or Saeyoung Choi, and that very proof would assure him that he made the right choice in biting you. 

They wouldn’t survive if you weren’t what he knew you to be. You had to go for the sake of their survival if you were truly a weakness, but why did his chest ache at the thought? Was it jealousy? Was it knowing that the Savior would dispose of you in the days to come if he couldn’t figure you out? Was it the notion he wouldn’t be able to figure out what made you tick because he had to show you the survival of the fittest instead? It was a strange sensation, but what could he do except what he was created to do? 

Saeran growled, “Don’t pretend to be asleep. I saw you flinch. Are you tired of Ray already?” 

You sat up, and your eyes dug into him as you dangled your legs off the edge of the bed to address him, “You’re not Ray.” 

That was what you said in the chat room. You refused to play along with his game and confess how you felt about him. You wouldn’t dare look at him with the same eyes you used that night he first met you face to face… the same worried, gentle eyes that lured Ray in like a fish on a hook. The eyes that made him risk their livelihood. The eyes that saw something in a lovesick fool that tricked you from the beginning. The eyes that gave a liar a chance when you could’ve scorned him and abandoned this damn place with Jihyun Kim in tow. The eyes that… confounded and confused him. 

“But, Ray used to occupy my body,” Saeran tutted. His long legs carried him across the room as he stopped in front of you. You didn’t dare turn your head to look away from him. His palm cupped your right cheek as he cooed condescendingly. “Don’t we give out a similar vibe? After all, I think you know by now that we share the same face. That makes us one and the same in the Savior’s eyes.” 

A perplexing look washed across your features as you contemplated his words, whispering, “But, you’re not the same…” 

Saeran ignored those words. He gripped your face tighter, forcing you to look at him directly with nowhere to turn. He was in control, he was the one with all the power, and he wouldn’t dare be told what to do by that look in your eyes. You didn’t wince in pain, but your eyes looked pained, and that was enough to lead him to believe he’d drawn the right response out of you. 

You would admit it soon enough. 

Saeran knew it was only a matter of time until you shattered, and it was all the more reason he’d donned these clothes before he stormed out of his office. The magenta coat with a frayed blue rose pinned to the lapel, the tan pants that’d wrinkled without the aid of Ray’s iron to it, the old gloves that did nothing to stop him from chewing on his digits, and the tight vest that couldn’t hide how small their body had become while in Mint Eye. You would crumble at the very sight of Ray’s clothes and his oh-so-precious face. 

As he leaned over you, his form dwarfed yours, “Come on, look at me. Here’s Ray’s face. The face you love so much. Isn’t there a list of things you want to do to him? I seem to recall you whispering nonsense after you embraced him… telling him all the things you’d like to do to him if you had more time to show him what he did to you.” 

Your lower lip quivered. Still, all the same, you refuse to turn away from him. The believers didn’t dare look him in the eyes, but you? You always did. Even when you trembled in what he knew to be fear. Why? You had to give up one of these days and drop that mask. Drop the mask of lies… and wicked dreams that couldn’t ever be Ray’s… or his. 

“I—I said I wanted to share experiences with him. I would never do something to Ray… I wanted us to do everything together,” you said. There it was, he sneered, as your voice cracked and trembled beneath him. As if Ray could ever consent to those experiences you had in the back of your head. Why would he walk into torment knowing that it would be the death of him? 

A single kiss was almost the death of him. 

He couldn’t hide his weakness from the Savior, not when her agents were waiting around every corner, just waiting for him to slip up and reveal something that mattered more to him than paradise. A show of weakness, a show of desire, a show of temptation, all of that was what the Savior needed to spark a catalyst flame. 

Ray dared to reach out for something they were never intended to have, and where did that land him? He was wallowing deep within their tiny heart, begging and pleading for someone to put him out of his misery.  Even if the Savior let Ray get away with him at first, it wouldn’t change the ending, and they both knew that. 

A miserable boy who desperately believed in happily ever after knew he wasn’t meant to be the prince, no matter how much he dressed himself as one, after all. 

“Hahaha! What were you even thinking? Where did you let those stupid fantasies of yours take you?” He asked. 

You didn’t answer him. 

“What? Are you too shy to tell me? You’re a toy. You shouldn’t be feeling shy now. You shouldn’t be feeling anything at all, toy! You lost your right to have any emotion except for obedience when you failed your mission! Do you not understand your place? Are you going to keep your head up to the bitter end? Are you that delusional?!” 

You didn’t respond to that, either. 

He scoffed, “You’re too stupid for me to play with, toy. You’re no fun. Should I just throw you away? I can throw you away after playing with you in the basement. You should entertain me if you don’t want to end up there. That’s what happens to everything Ray cares about, toy. It’ll all be destroyed sooner or later. He was never meant to have anything in the first place! Now that I’ve explained it nicely, don’t tell me you still don’t get it.” 

Ray was never meant to be happy. 

Ray was never meant to survive. 

Ray was only meant to be given a carrot on a string to chase for the rest of his existence until the Savior decided Saeran needed to be the only one to exist. 

So, why? 

Why did you continue to believe in him? 

Why did you continue to affirm his existence? 

Why did you look at Ray with those hopeful eyes and not give him the same when he was no different than Ray at that exact moment? If he and Ray were the same just as the Savior said over and over again, why wasn’t it enough to wear his clothes and style his hair?

Why wasn’t it enough to receive the affection you lauded onto Ray? 

Ray was the only one allowed to experience your tenderness for a fleeting moment, and you’d given it to him without a second thought. Why did he earn your affection when he was never meant to have what he wanted to begin with? Why couldn’t Saeran be granted the same adoration you gave Ray? He was wearing Ray’s clothes, he styled his hair no different from Ray’s, and he’d given you every little detail to treat him the way Ray had been treated, and you refused! 

You refused to treat him as you treated Ray! 

This was the only way he would ever come close to understanding why Ray was willing to risk it all and you wouldn’t budge! You wouldn’t let him have a moment of tenderness under the mask that would give him a chance to taste it as far as the Savior was concerned! Saeran wasn’t meant to experience love and adoration, and neither was Ray, but Ray had been given a chance to embrace it, and how Saeran clamored to know what he felt as you cradled Ray’s face in your hands and kissed him over and over again before it was too late to ever know! 

The Savior would get rid of you soon enough and he wouldn’t know what it felt like to be wanted by you. 

The person with unbreakable eyes who saw something he couldn’t confess to himself. 

His words were almost desperate, pleading with you underneath what little venom he could scrounge up, “I’ll pretend to be Ray. So, do that thing again. You know, what you did in the garden. Come on. If you waste more time, something terrible will happen. I’m Ray, you stupid toy! Treat me like Ray!” 

Your breathless voice cut through his heart like a knife as you laid your hand on top of his and cradled it against your face. It was the first time he ever felt you touch him. “You aren’t Ray. It doesn’t matter if you try to force it, Saeran. You’ll never be him. I don’t want you to treat you like I treated him… it would be disrespected to you, Saeran. You’re Saeran… not Ray. He’s Ray, not Saeran. You’re not the same. You’re two people who I care for deeply, just because you share a face doesn’t mean you’re the same.” 

His eyes widened and his hands fell from your face. 

“I’m sorry, Saeran. I didn’t realize that’s what you’ve been asking for all along,” your eyes reflected a vision of a man in tears staring back at him. He hadn’t yet realized that the man in your eyes was him. “You don’t have to pretend to be Ray.” 

“Yes, I do!” The words tumbled from his lips in a heated shout. His head had begun to ache, pounding at the seams like it might split apart if that hidden truth escaped further. “Saeran isn’t meant to be loved! He wasn’t created to be shown love and tenderness! He’s only meant to be a sword for Ray’s survival and shield for all his beatings!” 

Your gentle hands then cradled his face and swiped away the flowing tears that burned hotter than any elixir in his throat. “I think Saeran deserves love just as much as Ray does.” 

Your words were the very reason the Savior wanted to destroy you because you not only gave Ray hope, but you gave it to Saeran, as well. 

[married-to-google-translater]

Yan!Saeran waking up from a nightmare and can’t find his darling, but she was just drinking water or something👉🏻👈🏻 do you have his general headcanons?

Yandere Saeran

Saeran doesn't really know how to show affection.

He is too afraid that you will abandon him.

Of course you don't know his "real" feelings.

Because Saeran has never discussed this with you.

So the fact that Saeran sleeps next to you signals some kind of tenderness…

However, everything quickly goes downhill.

He thought this dream was horrible.

This guy has rejection issues.

So when he wakes up and doesn't see you, he immediately assumes the worst.

Of course you would try to escape.

Now Saeran is angry.

He doesn't know how to deal with these feelings.

Guess who got the punishment?

Yes you.

No Saeran doesn't care that you got up just to drink water…

You should have informed him about that

Except that Saeran would probably have given a punishment for that too.

A "small" contradiction….

Saeran will be much more possessive from now on…

Maybe he'll chain you to the bed.

[shewrotesomething]

The Day He Realized He Wanted to Marry You (Unknown)

Marriage was a distant thought to Saeran. He never really considered it. With everything that’s happened, really, it’s the last thing he could even begin thinking of. That was fine, you never pushed him to jump into anything he wasn’t ready for. 

He could remember the day he changed his mind though, or at least, felt a shift in his heart. 

At the time, some days were better than others. And when they weren’t… they really weren’t.

His brother had to be out of town for an entire week, and so, the two of you figured to stay at your place for a few days. 

He had a terrible time falling asleep. Too many thoughts in his head. Thoughts such as, if you wake up one day and decided you didn’t want to bear his burden with him, well, he wouldn’t blame you. Thoughts such as, the longer he spends with you, the more he’d ruin you. Thoughts such as, he wanted to be okay. Just for a day. To be okay so you wouldn’t have a hard time.

A nightmare came for him that night. Nothing gruesome. Or perhaps it was. He couldn’t remember anymore. All he knew was that he grasped for your presence, only to wake up and realize you were gone.

His heart leapt to his throat and he ripped his sheet away to reach for his phone on your nightstand. A text message read: Heeeey, I had to leave super early. I have to deal with an emergency. Didn’t want to wake you. Tell me when you’re up though!

He was frustrated, immediately. First, at you, for leaving so early, then at himself, for thinking such things. It’s fine, he’ll deal with it. He had to learn to deal with his emotions by himself. He had to learn to be stronger for you.

His mood didn’t improve throughout the day. Even when he did some work to get his mind off of it.

Saeran slammed his laptop shut and leaned back on the couch. From his seat, he spotted the trash can. It was filled to the brim. Not only that, it couldn’t even close with how much trash there was. He remembered telling you to take that out 2 days ago, why is it still there?

The door clicked open then and you strode inside with a bag of groceries. “Oh hi, you’re up. Didn’t you see my text?”

He did. He didn’t really want to reply.

His lack of reply didn’t deter you. “I ran into an old classmate on the way home, she’s inviting me to a party, but honestly we weren’t even that close so I don’t know if I should go. I remember she once told me I had weird legs…” 

As you narrated your day, you organized the groceries.

Saeran was only half listening. The other half was sitting in a boiling pot of anger and frustration.

“Hey, is everything okay?” you asked when you noticed his unnatural silence. “Sorry that dinner is taking so long, do you want to eat something while you wait?”

Saeran rolled his eyes. “You know what I want? I want you to take out the trash already. It’s been a full 24 hours since I asked you to take it out and there it is. I can’t believe you can live in this kind of mess!”

“Oh, well I—”

“You’ve been walking around in the kitchen for nearly an hour, you don’t notice how the trash doesn’t even close anymore? You remember what your aunt said about your shirt 3 weeks ago but you can’t remember to take out the trash you see everyday? Grow up!”

He watched the expression on your face melt from surprise and confusion into quiet vitriol. Your breath heaved. His throat tightened. Then, came the tears. Your lips quivering with words you refused to release. Only then did he realize he’s gone too far.

Without a word, you put the potholder down on the counter and pull the trash bag out of the can and tie it off nicely. You crossed the room.

“MC, I—”

You held a hand up to stop him before grabbing your wallet and keys. “I love you, but I need a moment,” you told him before you walked out the door.

Saeran’s heart dropped to his gut when he heard the door shut. This was bad. This was really bad. You’ve had arguments before but this was the first time he’s seen you so angry you couldn’t even speak. 

He should go after you. Wait. No. That would be worse. You’ll be back. Right? What you said earlier definitely means you’ll come back. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Saeran bolted out the door. Looking both ways on the street. You were nowhere to be found. 

He messed up big time. Why is he like this? Why her? Of all people why her?

Walking back inside, he tried not to panic. He should call you. His eyes jumped to the couch where his phone sat. He dialed your number only to discover that you had left your phone on the dinner table.

His fault. His fault. His fault. He’s shit. His fault. His fault. You left. It’s his fault. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Not your fault. Not your fault. 

Saeran curled himself up on the wall next to the door.

He doesn’t know for how long he sat there. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. He’s snapped before…but… you always stayed. 

You always stayed…

The door clicked open and he sprang out of the ground.

There you were. Despite your insistence to look indifferent, the spot of redness under your eyes betrayed you. He did this to you. His fault. His fault. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it, I promise. I…I’m not okay… I’m not okay. It’s not your fault. I took it out on you and I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave again.” Tears started flowing down your cheeks and nails dug into his heart. He wanted to touch you. Was he allowed to touch you? Please just don’t leave.  “I… I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’ll do anything, just… I really didn’t—”

THWACK!

A cold object collided with his chest and landed on the ground. Saeran looked down and it was a packet of popsicle ice cream. He bent down to pick it up. When he looked up at you, you had wiped away your tears and had a pout on your face.

“Just eat your ice cream.”

Saeran hasn’t heard a louder I love you.

[mochiimiiki]

| Saeran Choi Headcanons |

{GE Saeran x mc}

Warnings: spoilers for Saeran/ Ray route and after ending, sevens real name, some parts slightly suggestive (will be marker) so feel free to ignore those bits

A/N: the amount of pain and angst this man specifically has gone through is unbearable, out of all of the RFA members him and seven had it worst (my opinion). Anyways some happy hc because i think he deserves to be happy

- - -

After everything was resolved between Saeran and Saeyoung (which mind you took a while) the three of you decided to move and leave behind Saeyoung’s bunker, a place you had called home for the last six months

the reason for this choice was quite simple; a reminder of what was.

the twins didn’t need a reminder of everything that had happened over the course of time anymore than they needed the unpleasant memories. So they left.

The house which saeran and you moved to is a beautiful cottage, with a small farm attached. Saeran spends most of his days attending to the livestock and garden he grows, don’t worry though he definitely doesn’t neglect you (whether saeyoung came or not is up to you)

Saeran spends his days down in the dirt, very literally. As he’s all hands and knees and very much determined the best plants are grown from intense love and care

other than gardening and farming Saeran’s other past times are reading. He doesn’t have a particularly favourite genre but loves a good book with a happy ending. He reads all the books he can possibly get his hands on, very much including children books and fantasy novels. He was deprived of imagination when he was small so now he allows himself to indulge in it as he’s free to do

Saeran spends as much time with Saeyoung as he does his garden. This is mostly because Saeyoung is always around helping out on the farm, trying after years of being seperated to bond with his brother. Saeran deeply appreciates Saeyoung doing this as he knows being outside is something out of a comfort zone for Saeyoung (with unpleasant memories still always fresh Saeyoung feels safest behind a desk and screen).

Saeran is actually afraid of the dark so hopefully you don’t mind but he keeps a little nightlight by his bed side, it’s actually a cat and can change all sort of colours. It was invented by Saeyoung no doubt. Saeran treasures it with his whole heart.

Everytime you and Saeran go shopping he always collects a little toy, his inner child never had so much as a teddy bear so when he sees something he likes he gets it. Of course he asks you if he even should or if that’s silly, but naturally you insist that it’ll help heal his inner child.

Everytime Saeran sees you he gives you a kiss. On the forehead, cheek, neck, shoulder or lips it really doesn’t matter. He feels like giving you a kiss each time you see one another. It grounds him, reminds him that even though he has nightmares this, with you, is real.

Which means he ends up kissing you very often; you’re watching tv and he comes in from the garden. A kiss. You’re making dinner together and you go to the toilet, come back, a kiss. it doesn’t matter how much time apart you’ve spent. He just has to give you a kiss.

Now as mentioned before he does get nightmares and unfortunately they’re quite often, gently shake him awake if you hear him crying out in his sleep and murmur that it’ll be okay. He’ll hold you without saying anything until he drifts off again. Over time they fade away as he heals.

{suggestive} each time the two of you make love, and yes it’s 100% love making, saeran makes it his duty to tend to you. Running a soft, warm cloth over your body as you come down from your high. fixing your sweaty hair out of your face before heading off to fetch you some water and maybe a snack if you’re hungry. He treasures you and shows you that every way possible.

ofc u should give him aftercare everyone once in awhile (after you do he’ll not stop kissing ur face <3)

Saeran is a very tactile person. He went so long without physical touch that now he has yours he won’t let it go, ever. Has a hand on you, hovering about you or grabbing you every time he’s around. It’s probably another form of grounding for him, especially in crowded places where he feels very out of place and anxious.

Saeran 100% has hands on you everytime you kiss as well. and i mean everytime.

Work wise neither you nor saeran probably need to work as saeyoung has a lot of money and sold multiple cars to give saeran money. (he confirms at one point the gathering of cars was for his family)

However, Saeran never got to experience normal work and pay and so he does in fact work for awhile. He stays on with Jumin even after Jumin got elected and worked as part of a security team for a few months. But when you guys moved to the cottage/ farm he quit his job to focus on his life with you and Saeyoung. He just wanted a little bit of normalcy to feel complete.

One thing that doesn’t sit right with him no matter how much time has gone by is being out and about in a normal shop with normal people. It just never feels quite normal. He will of course insist on coming with you anytime you want to go shopping but other than that he doesn’t express any interest in exploring things like the cinema or public pools. Public places with so many people make him uncomfortable, especially with the way he’s recognised now because of the debacle with his dad.

His sanctuary is being in your arms, chatting with Saeyoung and your little farm together. (farmer Saeran brainrot)

Saeran devotes everything he has to you, that fact does not change no matter how much time passes. Every choice he makes is with you in mind, despite the fact you trying to dissuade him in order for him to form his own choices. But they are still his own decisions that he was free to make, he didn’t decide these things because he felt indebted to you but rather because he simply adores you and that was what he wanted to do to show you.

[thestargirlfromoon]

I have a request if that’s okay. What about Jumin, Zen and GE Saeran reacting to their lonely female mc wanting more love and affection because the rfa members were busy? Like, feeling spoiled, wanting them to pepper her face with kisses, cuddle her and tickle her. (non sexual fluff please)

Hii, of course it's okay, requests and asks are very welcome!^^

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Let's start with Jumin:

Jumin honestly loves it the most when Mc feels a little needy because he loves to pamper you in every way.Jumin is a busy man but after noticing that you seemed down and lonely lately he decided to set aside a day to take a break from his work to give you more attention, he was looking forward to spending more time with you, even more so when the opportunity to pamper you came up.

After seeing the smile that appeared on your face after he told you that he had planned in detail how the two of you would spend a productive day together as a couple, he shower you with quiet, gentle kisses.In the evening he prepare an overly fancy dinner for you and kiss your hand several times looking into your eyes with a small smile.When it was time to go to sleep he will make sure to stay by your side reading books and telling you stories until you fell asleep. Don't be surprised if in the next day he shows you a blurry photo he took of you while you were asleep and telling you how lovely you are, thus starting a new session of kissing.

Saeran:

He gets a little sad when you are feeling lonely because he knows the feeling very well since before he met you he was very lonely,

Saeran pays a lot of attention to you so he quickly noticed that you feel a bit needy when RFA is busy as you have no one to talk to and need attention and affection, he would make sure to spend the day by your side and whisper a lot of loving and corny things while hugging you.

He would start with a cuddling session for quite a while while repeatedly stating how much he loves you and doesn't want you to forget this even when you are feeling lonely.Since Saeran wants to create many memories with you, after the hugging session, he decides to take you to a park full of flowers for the two of you to spend a good time together.He ask you to lie down on the grass next to him so you two can watch the sky together with your head resting on his chest. When you ended up falling asleep he watch your peaceful face giving you a little kiss on the forehead and turning back to look at the sky with a grateful smile for having you in his life while holding you even tighter.

When he finally wakes you up, he gives you a small bouquet of flowers smiling and blushing.

Zen:

Zen is kind of possesive and deep down he would like him to be the only man you have contact with so he would see this moment as an opportunity to show you how much he loves you and that he is the most suitable man for you and you two are made for each other but regardless of everything he wants you to be happy and feel adored.

First of all he ask you what's wrong after seeing you a little gloomy and when you admit that you feel lonely because all the RFA is so busy lately, he would hug you saying that you have him and that he will always be available for you.

He go to his room to get all the beauty products he has and then come over to you who were sitting on the couch and ask you if you want to do skin care together with him.

After using face masks together and various other products, he even lets you do his makeup and paint his nails for his amusement.

Although you did a funny make-up and made a mess on his face to play with him, he just laugh and let it go this time since you seem to be enjoying yourself.

[stormflypirateskin]

Summary: GE Saeran can't focus on you talking about your day because you are too cute.

Saeran always really loved to hear about what you did in your days, even if nothing particularly happened exactly. He enjoyed hearing about what you did, anything interesting that happened, anything.

Since he didn't have a regular life like you, he tends to listen to every single detail like a little kid being told an amazing fairytale before sleeping to have the wildest dreams.

But there was one little problem.. today he couldn't focus but it wasn't because anything bad had happened or he was drained. It was because of you. Specifically your adorable face.

Now, he always thought you had a cute face but it seemed that today his eyes and thoughts lingered there. How is it that you were just.. so adorable today? It got him all warm and fuzzy on the inside, he couldn't help it!

Saeran always paid attention to every single word that you said but he didn't even realize how much he was observing you until you giggled and asked him if anything was wrong.

"Ah.. it's nothing, haha.." His eyes widened as he sat up better, fully flustered as it showed on his cheeks. It was funny in a way that he didn't even see it himself how much you had an affect on him. The world could be burning and he would focus on you like you were the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

"I guess.. your cuteness got to me well today, my love." He let out a small laugh as he saw you being flustered instead. Moments like these he wanted to cherish forever. Just you and him doing anything together. It didn't matter what, just that you were besides each other.

When the laughing stopped, it was only you two gazing in each other's eyes. Saeran's eyes always held this love for you and his expression was always the softest. And don't forget the warm smile he wore whenever he saw you. All the things on his face were full of love only for you.

"I adore moments like these.. just being with you.. it makes me really happy." And it was always true. Anytime you were near him, he felt like he could do anything. These warm and good feelings you were making him feel will always make him feel weak in the knees for you.

His heart always racing and beating only for you, his one and only love. On cloud nine he would often feel and this amount of great peace and joy was often what he felt like. Just you two being free and being able to do anything.

You got lost in his eyes as well because you didn't even see his hand going under your chin and very gently lifting it up as he got closer to capture your lips on his. It made your heart beating really fast when you realized and it wasn't long before you relaxed and melted.

And how good it felt whenever he wrapped his arms around you only to hold you closer to him. Enough grip to hold you tight but careful enough to also not hurt you. Saeran will always make sure to treat you with respect and love and it always made you melt even more in his arms.

"Wow.. it's impossible, you're more adorable now when I see you like this..." Was all he said and laughed while you were a blushing mess. He reached out to press a kiss on your forehead as he snuggled more into you.

"Now.. could you tell me about your day from the beginning, my love? I'm afraid I was distracted by your beauty." He chuckled a bit as you blushed once again. And this time, he did listen.

But it didn't change something he did occasionally. Leave kisses all over you. How could he not..?

[littleheartbigbrain]

Mystic Messenger characters and where you would find them at school and general headcannons

Yoosung, Zen, Saeyoung, Jumin, Rika, Saeran

Yoosung: I think you'd notice him in history class, he would be so flabbergasted by the events that the teacher is talking about. Would and will raise his hand just to say that it's horrible. No shit Sherlock. Would hang out with Saeran and scold Saeyoung for startling him, and pair up with Saeran during P.E. I think he would be in the exact middle between being popular and going unnoticed. Like, people notice him when he's with his popular friends but I don't think they will notice him for HIM. Would get a couple of girls having a crush on him but no fangirls

Zen: In the school cafeteria. He would be SURROUNDED. Like you couldn't even see him with all the girls and boys around him. Would start a food fight and everyone else but him would get into trouble. He's that kid that every female teacher loves so much that it starts to feel illegal. He seems like those people who never eat school lunches despite being in the cafeteria, but I think everyone would let him be because you do not wanna get beef with his fangirls.

707/Saeyoung: IN MATH CLASS. I CANNOT SAY IT ENOUGH IN MATH CLASS. He would correct the teacher so much that the teacher hates him for it. But nobody can deny that he's a genius. Would crack a few jokes during class which would make the teacher hate him even more but I don't think he cares. Would give Zen the idea to start a food fight and then run away so that he doesn't get in trouble. He would be very very popular because of being a class clown and Zen's friend, on top of being charismatic and handsome.

Jumin: In foreign literature class. He's one of those ib student, and probably gets the best grades. Wouldn't eat in the cafeteria bc bro's too good for that, no but I feel like he would be this kid with a hundred intolerance and allergy. Very serious to the point where it's annoying. Always gets picked in group projects tho because he will get the best grade and everybody knows that. His father probably donates a LOT to the school. He's pretty popular amongst the girls because he's quite handsome and stupidly rich, so he's got a good amount of fangirls around the school. The boys make fun of him for being stuck-up tho.

Rika: You'd probably find her in the library helping the librarian or doing extra work in the classroom. She's the perfect pretty girl. If a cat infiltrates the school, will pet it and defend it from those weird ass people that wanna hit it. Would get the best grades and I feel like she would take latin as an option (worst choice of life btw). She would be fairly popular amongst the student body because of her very very popular friends. Will get a burnout in the middle of the year and maybe quit school for a bit.

Saeran: Behind a tree reading. I think he would be an ib student too and for that reason would have a lot of books to read. And since he doesn't wanna hang out with Saeyoung to avoid getting in trouble, he would read those books at school. Will still be targeted by Saeyoung for pranks tho, but nothing mean just annoying enough to make Saeran go away with a big loud huff. He wouldn't eat in the cafeteria but he would still get his plate and then go to his tree again. Basically if you wanna find him he'll be next to his tree lmao. He's a hot topic at school because he's very calm and shy on top of being very pretty, so people think he's mysterious yk yk. Probably has a group of fangirls he's unaware of.

[natasha-in-space]

VAE Ray is on my mind today. Like if we take the classic 'V route but in love with Ray' road, you cannot tell me that that boy did not think of you almost every single day during the two years he has spent away on his painful recovery. There is so much left unsaid between the two of you: so much guilt, so much hurt and so many regrets plaguing his head every time he sees something that reminds him of you. And, God, does that include a lot of things.

He goes outside and one look at the clouds brings back a memory of those short but meaningful talks he shared with you about the most simple of things. He remains indoors, and after taking a sip of the herbal tea that Jihyun made for him, he is immediately transported back to a peaceful tea party he set up for you. He stares at his hands, and he can't help but think back on how heavenly your touch felt against them. And how much he regrets wearing those pesky gloves at the time, never giving him the chance to feel your skin on his.

You're like a ghost that watches over his every step. It's often painful. Like a constant reminder of all that could have been if he didn't ruin every chance at his happiness with you. Sometimes it gets a little too hard on him, and Saeran takes over. But sometimes it's comforting. Like a warm hug, keeping him secure when all else falls apart.

He refuses to let you go.

So when he does meet you again, it's like a fragile fantasy that is far too idealistic for it to be true. Ray had no expectation that his brother would remember him. No matter what Jihyun has told him over those two years, he couldn't bring himself to believe that Saeyoung truly wanted him in his life to be the burden that he truly is. So when he gets crushed into a tight, desperate hug that is a bit too painful for his scarred body, his twin's whole body shaking, wracked with sobs Ray's ears can't quite register fully due to how unbelievable it all is... He's almost in a trance-like stare. Hearing Saeyoung's voice telling him to never leave again as he holds him so tight, it's like he's afraid he'll disappear into thin air once he lets go...

None of it was what Ray or Saeran had expected.

And then there's you. Your reunion with Ray will definitely be an emotional event for both of you. Ray was sure that, at best, you had forgotten all about him and lived on a happy and safe life. A life that you deserve. And at worst, that you hated him, and cursed him for hurting you the way that he did.

But instead, you are so unbelievably happy to see him. So happy that you are crying for him. Much like Saeyoung is.

The two people he had the worst fear of facing again were accepting of him and shedding tears for him in a way he had never even imagined.

So he also breaks down. And the three of you probably spend a lot of time crying into each other's arms as two years of grief, heartbreak, and recovery wash over you all at once.

After that, things don't immediately turn perfect. There are still many things that need to be said. You and Ray will have many conversations with each other, taking breaks to process it all piece and piece and not overwhelm one another. About what happened those two years ago. About what happened after that. About your feelings for each other. And about Saeran, too.

It's a process that takes time. But the fact that you're willing and even wanting to go through that process with him is enough to cause Ray to shed tears more than he could count.

The beginning is small, very small. Brief brushing of his fingers against yours while you are sitting together in the shade of a large tree in Saeyoung's backyard. The lightest of touches you give to his scars after he allows it. A hand resting on his shoulder gently as he talks about something heavy to let him know you're there for him.

Every touch leaves his entire body shaking, his breath stuttering in his throat, forcing him to let out the faintest of gasps. The first time it happened, he got very ashamed and apologized profusely to you, as he thought he acted like a complete creep and made you uncomfortable. Ray knows he's touch-starved, and that he's touch-starved for your touch specifically. But he doesn't think it's something worth dealing with, not wanting to be a bother to anyone. Not any more than he already is. A thought process that he will need to work on one step at a time.

You let him know that it's okay, though. That you don't mind. That it's your own desire to touch him.

After that, you begin to take his hands into yours. The first time it occurs, your hand jist clasps around his lightly. Then you interlock your fingers together, once he's okay with that. And then he feels safe enough to do that to you, too.

Holding hands with you is something Ray loves with all his heart. No gloves are getting in the way now. He can feel your skin directly on his with no barriers. It's a wordless 'I got you' that he finds himself getting more and more greedy for, the longer you indulge his cravings for human warmth.

His scars are not bothersome to you. If he doesn't want to, you don't force him to talk about them. And you're always quick to let him know how beautiful he is to you whenever he feels insecure about them. Even if he has a hard time believing that.

You're far too good for him, is what Ray finds himself thinking time and time again. But at some point, he comes to the realization that he is too selfish to let you go again. And then Saeran joins in on that line of thinking after his own long journey with you. So he doesn't let you go again.

And that's when everything changes.

Ray can be clingy with you if you let him. He desires to hold your hand inside the house, regardless of whether it's just a walk to the balcony or kitchen. He will rest against you whenever you are resting, reading a book, or indulging in your hobby. You don't need to talk to each other. He just silently sinks against you and sighs softly, letting your presence wash away all other thoughts floating in his mind. While asleep, he clings to you, almost as if his subconsciousness is terrified of you disappearing again. He fiddles with your clothes, with your fingers, or with your hair whenever you are talking to someone, and he's there with you. It calms him. Keeps him steady.

There is an undeniable bittersweetness to Ray's clinginess. GE Saeran's touchiness stems from his heart's pure affection towards you, but VAE Ray neecs to constantly remind himself that you're there. That he can touch you. That you are not going anywhere. And that you have no hatred towards him.

But it can also be sweet. Like whenever you help him take care of his burns, or you ease him into a warm, soothing bath you've prepared just for him. Ray may be anxious. But you are always eager to show him how much you genuinely care for him. How much you enjoy touching him in the way he has always wanted to be touched by you. To allow him to unwind with you. Close his eyes and let you take care of him with no judgement.

Your relationship with VAE Ray described in one word would be: peace. It's peace after the long, heavy storm you had to endure to get to this point. And it's peace that you will cherish for as long as life allows you.

[k0kichiimagines]

[look at her. i would die for her, i would kill for her. either way... what bliss.]

ray

Oh, he'd promised to visit you in the afternoon. Early enough for the day to still hold hours left of sunlight, but late enough that by the ending of your time together he could walk you back to your room in the evening sunset, let you be covered with the orange and red hues of the sky itself. But he couldn't resist, not when he had time spare - and you'd told him it was fine for him to visit any time, hadn't you? So... you would find this okay, right?

He watches your sleeping frame, the steady rise and fall of your chest under the soft silk pijamas he'd picked out specially for you, the lace suited you perfectly in his eyes. He leaned down to pull the floral bed sheets higher up on you, tucking you comfortably under them to ensure your warmth. He paused there, his hand slowly making it's way up to your cheek and brushing against your soft skin. For a second he regretted wearing gloves, his heart aching to feel your skin more clearly under his fingers. His head lowered to a breath away from your face.

"I would do anything for you, my prince/ss." And he would- truly anything. He'd never made such a declaration from his own choice, even he had to admit the Saviour had enforced his loyalty. But you didn't. You never did. You only treated him with soft kindness, never expecting a word in reply, loving him for the sake of loving him - and what sweet bliss it was to be so treasured by the one you treasure the most. And how dangerous it was, the idea that you held almost total control over him, a word from you and he'd obey without question - yet he never feared your innocent requests the way he did Ri- the saviours.

He allowed himself the soft satisfaction of pressing a kiss against your face, brushing your hair out of the way beforehand and holding his lips there for a second longer then he intended to. He drew back to catch your subconscious smile at his movements, and he felt himself smile in return without meaning to.

He should go. Rest for an hour and finish his work before your meeting. he should pull himself away from your peaceful expression and his mind filled with thoughts of you. But... it was Valentine's day, she'd understand if he stayed with you a little longer, wouldn't she?

[elysianhades]

tiny continuation

Finally finished and satisfied with the ending!

the ending to this drabble

“That sounds reasonable… there’s not much left anyway.” You mumble, tilting your head to the side as you think.

“I don’t know about you angel, but a day where we spent on the couch watching movies sounds very appealing.” Saeran smiles and reaches out to hold your hand with his free one. Both rakes are still held tightly in the other.

You let him lead you to lean against him, letting out a defeated strangled sigh -a sound that sounded very akin to a dying cat- as the image of doing nothing but cuddling floods your mind. Yesterday, Saeran did the laundry so you know that your favorite sweatshirt and comfy pants are there just calling your name. There also are a few movies that you had been meaning to show him and now would be the perfect time to do so.

It also looks like it’s going to rain later today, the clouds are that thick dark gray and the air smells heavier. Short but strong gusts of wind have been blowing through the yard as you both have been standing. Those kinds of winds that throw your hair in your eyes or move you around if you aren’t braced for them. When you looked out the window this morning it looked like it was going to be a nice day from start to finish. Even when breakfast was being made, the sun was peeking out over the horizon. You suppose you lost even more time when you were kissing Saeran in the kitchen. His lips always derail your mind and you lose track of time, but who was going to argue about you kissing your husband? No one that’s who. 

Still, you knew the moment that Saeran mentioned his wants for the day was the moment that your fate was sealed. Besides… cuddles on the couch means kisses and possibly even a nap. Saeran was the only person you could nap with and not feel like you’ve died when you inevitably wake up, you also are able to sleep when it’s time for bed which has never happened before. You blame it on how safe his arms feel and how calming the rise and fall of his chest are. Instant KO. Everytime. 

“Well if we want to beat the rain we should start now.” You grumble but make no moves towards the yard. 

“My love, if you keep pouting I’ll have no choice but to kiss you.” Saeran chuckles, bringing his hand up to touch your protruding lip. In response to this, you exaggerate your pout and bat your eyes at him expectantly. 

You feel his reaction before you see it. His chest hitches and shoulders shake before he snorts and starts laughing. His eyes are creased as he watches you, still laughing. It takes a couple breaths for him to settle back down, a few chuckles instead of full chested laughter. He hums and leans down to give you what you were waiting for. 

You can feel his smile as he presses his lips against yours. You hum happily, the rest of the stress melting away from your mind and your shoulders relax. Parting slowly to breathe, he chases after your lips. Pressing soft kisses against your lips, he finally lets you lean back and chuckles when he sees how pink your cheeks are. 

“Okay, okay. If we keep going nothing is going to get done. You’re dangerous.” You say, lightly pushing him away and grabbing a rake from his hand, flustered.

Saeran smiles as he sighs fondly and follows after you quickly. 

[suspiciouslypinkrosegarden]

This, in all honesty, was never what Unknown had intended to happen. This was not how things were supposed to go, and it confused him to the point he’d willingly chug endless vials of elixir just to chase the feeling away. And he did…almost every night he did. He pleaded for his body to listen to him and to strip him clean so this weak affliction would no longer plague his soul. Drowning never worked as a cure though, only pulling you closer as you stayed by his side in these moments where he tried to run from you. Unknown continuously poisoning himself was what led to the tip of the iceberg, and he had no idea what to do when you suddenly kissed him out of desperation.

From the start, you were nothing but trouble for him. You were supposed to be his stupid little Alice in this long game of revenge, with Unknown in the role of the white rabbit you chased out of curiosity. When exactly did everything flip to be the other way around? Why was he suddenly the one falling down the rabbit hole, trapped in a room filling with tears of confusion as nothing seemed to make sense? You were supposed to enter that apartment long ago, and yet here you are. In his lap and spinning his world into complete and utter chaos.

Being with you is nauseating. The way your hands work their way through his bleached hair as your lips meet is a horrible experience, for the reason that you make him so overly conscious of the slightest movements and bodily reactions. You strip him so easily of his control as you press against him, and for once he has no idea how to regain it. It pisses him off how his mouth can’t seem to contain some peculiar noises, noises he’s making just for you. His heart thuds, his lungs are about to burst, and he is angry at the uncomfortable temperature that spreads throughout his being.

Before you, he had never properly dwelled on the fact that he had never kissed someone before. He figured it would always remain that way, not capable of such intense feelings in the past. He had no interest in anyone, ever. Not in a romantic way, nor in a physical manner. But now…now he catches himself watching the way your lashes flutter shut when you’re tired, or the way your chest bubbles up with small laughter when he makes the world’s flattest joke. Now, he likes to stare too intensely at your lips as you talk, and lets his mind wander as he stops typing…and then proceeds to punish himself for doing so. This is a new weakness you have unlocked.

Unknown freezes, upset that he has no idea where to touch you and how to get you to react as you slide your cold fingers underneath his tank top. His lack of knowledge leaves him feeling vulnerable, and he’s missing his usual confidence he uses to prove himself strong. Should he follow by example and do the same under your shirt?

It’s when he decides to feel your bare spine that the atmosphere grows somehow tighter. It spurs you on to begin showering your affections onto his neck, and he decides that he can’t take anymore of it as his hands start to shake. You listen immediately as he stops you, and he is angry at your continuous respect for his boundaries when he displays almost none for yours.

Unknown cannot go that far with you. Unknown can’t take you into himself that deeply, nor will he ever. Unknown is nothing but a shadow, incapable of giving you any satisfaction with his ghost of a body and his cold bones for fingers. Unknown cannot feel, for he is nothing, and you are human. You deserve more than the kiss of your kidnapper, and he is afraid of what you do to him.