#Sam and Max headcanon

[cephalonheadquarters]

Errrmmm

[moomley]

they're watching aliens btw

[everyonesonthespectrum]

Today’s Autistic character of the day is:

Sam from Sam & Max

[dogboyklug]

shoutout to telltale and purcell for accidentally giving me so many crumbs yay

disabled and ableist gay and homophobic cops heart emoji ..

[bat-rot]

woke up in a cold sweat at 3am to make this

[pancakewithsprinkles]

Sam And Max Headcannons <3

WARNING!!!! THESE ARE ALL BASED ON LITERALLY NOTHING. NONE OF THESE HAVE ANY CANNON BACKING THEM UP

Max loves to draw, though he's on the artistic level of a kindergartener. He likes using crayons the most :)

Sam and Max are both autistic. In fact, the whole reason they got into this business is Sam's never ending hyperfixation on black and white detective films.

They always get icecream after a job to celebrate :)

The commissioner is literally just Steve Purcell

On halloween, they always go as themselves and see how many people they can trick into thinking they're just in costumes. It's always fun

Max likes babies :)

Sam could be making thousands selling his artwork, but he doesn't think its good. (its basically on par with the mona lisa I have no idea where he gets that idea from)

Their favorite icecream is orange dreamsicles :)

Max loves using slang in front of sam to watch him panic because he has No Idea what his little buddy is saying

Max is the top

They like M night Shyamalan movies

Max isn't allowed to listen to Caramel Dansen anymore because last time he did he got so hyper he nearly broke everything in the office

they own multiple of eachother's plushies

They love interacting with kids!! Sam always has police badge stickers in his pocket in case of a Child Spotting. Max also has pixiesticks on hand for the same reason. Sam has no idea if they're actually pixie sticks or if he's just giving kids hard drugs and he's too afraid to ask

Sam is terrified of the Vet. Its a whole day ordeal of Max having to trap, trick, and manipulate his way into forcing sam into the vet's doors. He always gets a chewtoy afterwards though cus he's a brave lil pup :)

Max likes going to the vet because he steals all the equipment

Sam is a giant frank Sinatra fan, listens to him All The Time. This has led to max hating frank sinatra.

Sometimes max will just latch onto sam like a damn parasite and Sam wont even know he's been latched onto him until Max says something. Its nearly given Sam a heart attack on occasions

Sam has a dog bed, and Max sleeps where ever he wants. Spots Sam has found him sleeping in include: The Fridge, On the roof, On his head (suffocating him), In the microwave, and in the fishbowl.

When max dries off after getting wet he looks like a gigantic puff ball. He hates it, and Sam always makes fun of him for it

Sam does the Snoopy Happy dance :)

Max loves being thrown around. Down the stairs, through a window, being spun until he's violently ill... you name it, he adores it.

Max cant swim, but he will lie till the end of time that he can, since he finds wearing floaties embarrassing. He usually drowns at least two times at pool parties

Max's idol is the shark from Jaws

Max loves putting stickers on things he loves! Which usually means himself and Sam are covered in them

If you ask either of them how old they are, they'll reply with "time is a concept" because they've honestly forgotten what age they are

Sam and Max both believe in santa (I guess this isn't a headcannon since they did see/kill him once but still I like it)

Max has the uncanny ability to sleep anywhere anytime he wants, including sleeping standing up.

Sam and Max met eachother at a playground because Max bit sam and said he wouldn't let go till they were best friends. I think you all know how the rest of the story goes

[ebbofcyanwhispers]

i went through hell and back trying to make this image transparent so. for myself and only myself i am posting the edited version and not the original transparent. LOL

original untransparent below the cut to showcase my brilliant perserverence., btw

gaze and weep fools

[crow-man72]

GET SAM AND MAX HEADCANONED (because I have no art to post due to sudden art block 💔💔)

Sam:

- mid-late 20s in Hit The Road, 34 in everything else (sticking with the time travelling Sam and Max theory I made, it's canon in my head)

- trans, aroace spectrum and bi. why? because I said so (also I think Sam considering the name Tyrone before Max suggested Sam is funny)

- has autism, at one point he was EXTREMELY hyperfixated on animals and wanted to work in a pet store, then he discovered 40s detective movies and he was like "OK NEW CAREER PLAN"

- on the topic of autism he mainly verbal stims like his long ass speech patterns he does when he's surprised

- surprisingly really good at drawing, even Sam doesn't know where he learnt it (I think this one was proven to be canon in tdp)

- basically just steals really vital evidence from crime scenes with the excuse of "we might need this later" (they will never need that later)

- Geek made him and Max watch spiderverse, he's now a spider noir and spiderham stan

Max

- late 20s in Hit The Road, 35 in everything else

- gay and aroace spectrum (SAM AND MAX ARE IN A QPR AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE)

- took woodwork classes in high school

- REALLY likes cowboys. idk why I just feel like he'd like cowboys

- (this is more like my interpretation of alt tdp but whatever) Max basically went through a depressive/psychotic episode during 303, pretending Sam was still alive when he damn well knew he wasn't

- he's also autistic because I'm autistic and I kin him (corn dogs are a comfort food)

- when he has to wear clothes he'll either go all out or dress like Adam Sandler, no in between

- die hard Santa believer, freaked out when he found out Santa was real in 201

- Geek introduced Max to Tomodachi Life, he instantly fell in love with it (he's pissed about the gay couples not being allowed in the game tho, so he got Miitopia so him and Sam could be in a relationship in the game)

thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[xenogenderbunnykid]

[whosmaxfr]

My headcanon for how the yhs trio ( Sam, grian and taurtis) inmortality works:

• Grian: He is a phoenix, his body will start burning and he will rise from the flames, maybe using his dead body as a form of egg to get out or something, but that only happens when his body just has no fuckin way to be healed completely (like, arm ripped off or something) or in Permadeath worlds, if his body can be healed, stab wound, bullets wounds etc he can keep going but he wont regenerate, he will just be walking around with the wounds till he

a) respawn

b) burst into flames and get a new one

c) takes a regen/health potion

• Taurtis: He is like Kyubey from Madoka Magical, he will let behind a body but he will just fuckin reaper out of nowhere, you though you killed him? bitch bet hes behind you, his body will turn into dust/ashes after some minutes, it takes a lot to kill him, he will always look the same as he looked before dying so he makes sure he doesn't get past 20, his scars are gone

His body will not regenerate, potions work but since he is kinda between life and death he has to take a mix between damage and healing

•Sam: He is kinda like deadpool, his body just fuckin heal itself, if he can't attach a lost arm/leg then he will have to wait for it to grow again, health/regen potions dont work on him, others do

Little things:

-None of them has a normal heartbeat 😭 Taurtis heart bum-bum like very 5 minutes and if hes sleeping call him a goner cuz his heart forgets to bum-bum, Sam doesn't have a heartbeat, grian has one but he kinda forgets to make it yk work

-Sam in the series was a bunny and a demon or something so im just going with demon

-Grian is a shapeshifter

-Taurtis is something ig

ILL ADD MORE LATER

[pikaflute]

some excerpts from my headcanon doc about sam and max

[p0ssyart]

i am!!!! so normal about them!!!!!!

[sapphymayeyeplease]

freelance family bonding for @voidvendetta! geek is the only one who’s been paying attention to the show. sam keeps going on tangents about the technology shown onscreen, and max falls asleep when there are three seconds with no epic robot fights.

[samandmaxfanatic]

Sam x Reader x Max (ROMANTIC HEADCANONS)

• Fucking hell, do you have death wish? You got together, with THESE TWO?! Damn, that's surprising. Usually they never gain interest on ANY other people. Let alone romantically or other weird blissful feelings. Yet here you are.

• You three are a literal power couple. Okay fine, maybe not on the "literal" sense but certainly powerful. You, being the peace keeper, although secretly causing mischief behind the scenes. Sam, being the the logical and sensible one, but secretly enjoying yours and Max's violent acts towards humanity. Max, being the mischievous menace to society as per usual and partaking in sadistic acts regularly. In a short way of describing him. Gremlin, lagomorth, psychopath and etc.

• Look, they're not really physically affectionate. Sure, Max is very physical and touchy but it's not affectionate. (Well, I guess it could be seen as affectionate.) Max would even say he's uncomfortable with physical affection. However, he tends to be more affectionate indoors, clingy and many other adjectives. Just don't be too physical with him unless it involves gratuitous acts of violence. He only gets uncomfortable if you (or anyone, really) touches him. Fine with touching others, unnerved when someone touches him.

• Max tends to nuzzle against you, hopping on your shoulders and leaning down for an upside down kiss. He can be very gentle and cute with it. Or he can let impulses take the best of him and thrash against you. He can be VERY rough with his affection when impluse takes over. Maybe even clawing against you, biting you (hickeys) or just otherwise hurting you. (Unless, well masochist.) He is also a cuddler, weirdly? Tries to be big spoon. (Succeeds a lot, actually. Obviously.)

• Sam is a bit different. He's a lot more affectionate, but just like Max he is more affectionate indoors. Sure, a few hugs here and there when on the job or while in a case but otherwise most of the acts are done in closed doors. But- fuck, is he affectionate. He is absolutely adorable when he's affectionate. Nuzzles, hugs and so many kisses. Also his little tail wag is just- the cherry on top man. He is also SUCH a cuddler. (He's also the little spoon, fucking bottom sub.)

• Sam has an insane vocabulary. He will give you the weirdest of compliments with the most unusual words. Sometimes you aren't even sure if it's a compliment. The only way you know it's supposed to be a compliment is by his tone.

• If you're a sadomasochist, you three will get into a bunch of acts. Tearing a man's skin off, gouging someone's eyes out- you get the idea! However, most of the times it's you and Max participating in these acts while Sam does sometimes.

• Puns, and LOTS of wordplay with these two. These two will constantly joke and make morbid jokes. With you in the gang it only multiplies.

• Max enjoys being thrown into a wall and many other sadomasochist acts. If you can, do it as much as you can per day. For some reason he get more snarky and aggressive than usual when you haven't hurt him enough. Aggressive to OTHER people that is. Which usually leads to things and more unexplainable things.

• Despite the fact that they're the "police" they participate in illegal acts almost everyday. Then again it's not that surprising considering.. well them. (Usually it's selling organs to the black market *COUGH* *COUGH* but let's not talk about that.)

• You three usually go to this weird restaurant Max enjoys. The restaurant is err.. well questionable to the very least. But you've gotta say you've come to love the place and so has Sam.

• Look, with these two on your tail there will ALWAYS be adventure no matter how insane it sounds.

[dogboyklug]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SAMMY

i was gonna make a comic but i got too tired so expect that...tomorrow perhaps..!

anyway shoutout to this dog . thanks for reminding me how awesome and bad it is to be bisexual

[nameshiftazuu]

You know what? Fuck it! SAM AND MAX HEADCANONS!!!

1: Fuck you, they're married.

2: Max is capable of being a good person, he just constantly chooses not to be out of spite.

3: Max is a war criminal. The only reason he hasn't gotten arrested is because the one time he did the world nearly ended and Sam killed like, 10 people.

4: Pretty sure this is actually Canon but Max is a masochist and he is NOT ashamed to admit it in public.

5: Sam is a bottom. I refuse to believe he isn't.

6: Max sold his soul. Nobody knows why or what he sold it for. No, not even Sam. It is one of the world's greatest mysteries.

7: They watch Monty Python together and know the script of Holy Grail by heart.