#Seriously Nintendo get your shit straight

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Scout's Honor

Day #1 - Prompt: Firsts | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: E | CW: Sex Acts, Language | POV: Goodie (Freak) | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Newly Gotten Together Steddie, Semi-Public Sexual Acts, Touch Me While Your Bros Play Grand Theft Auto Super Nintendo, The Boys of Corroded Coffin Are Tired of Eddie's Horny Bullshit

This has a sister fic, Full Throttle, from Steve's POV. Either can be read standalone.

"It's my turn!" Gareth shouts, grabbing at the controller, and Goodie holds it up, as far as the cord will stretch, trying to keep it out of his grubby little hands. Laughing as he pushes and fights to get a hold of it.

It is his turn, but Goodie isn't about to cave to the little shit's demands that easily.

"Guys," Jeff warns, then adds, "just take mine," offering up his controller up to Gareth.

"But I want to be player one!" Gareth snaps, and Goodie just laughs. No fucking way. 

"Winner gets to be player one, and that's me," Goodie tells him, and Gareth whines about it, but he does take the second controller from Jeff's hands. 

Their first decent check came last week, and after divvying up and paying out all their debts, they had just enough left over to buy the brand new Super Nintendo. There was one left in the store, and if they pooled their money together, they could actually afford it.

So. The check is gone, long gone, they spent every damn dime, but it was fucking worth it, as they crowd around the TV in the cheap apartment they're all crammed into, playing Super Mario World. They've been taking turns, the four of them. Well, three now that Steve Harrington has shown up. Goodie thought it'd mean they had to give him a turn too, but instead Eddie gave up on playing with them, and is on the other couch, Steve all over Eddie, taking up all his attention.

Just because Eddie was the first of them to get into a relationship, doesn't mean the band should have to be subjected to this all the time. But they are, because Eddie and Steve are horny motherfuckers, the both of them.

It wasn't so bad before they all lived together, but now, torture. Pure and utter torture.

They've been trying to do the long-distance thing, and Goodie was sure it would fizzle. After the shine wore off fucking King Steve. Like, he gets it. High school Eddie could never, would never, and now he's reliving his adolescence, chasing after Steve Harrington like a little lap dog. Panting, and humping his goddamn leg.

It's so high school, it makes Goodie sick. 

Unfortunately, this has gone on long enough that now Goodie's sure they're about to be saddled with Harrington full-time. 

Goodie looks over, and no fucking way. Not on his couch. Their shared couch. Community property.

Steve's trying to look normal, but he's red-faced, eyes squeezed shut, his gym shorts pulled down in the back, Eddie's fingers disappearing down into them, into Steve, Goodie's pretty fucking sure. He doesn't know where else they could be. Especially not with the face Steve's making.

Goodie nudges Gareth, just to make sure he's not seeing things. Misconstruing. Maybe he just has a dirty mind, and is still traumatized from the blowjob incident last week.

And the tongue in the asshole fiasco from the week before that.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, not again," Gareth says under his breath, so no, no he's not imagining it. Eddie's got three fingers shoved up Steve's asshole right where they can all see. 

"Eddie!" Goodie yells, and Steve is the one that jumps, Eddie just fucking laughs, but he doesn't pull his hand out of Steve shorts, until Steve crawls off his lap, ears tinged red, heading straight for the bathroom.

"Seriously? With us in the room?" Goodie asks, as soon as Steve's gone, behind the closed door.

"I wasn't doing anything," Eddie bemoans, but he has a shit eating grin, as he puts up three fingers, in a mock salute, "Scout's honor."

And his fingers are fucking shiny, with what must be lube. 

Because they've been up Steve's ass. 

Goodie shakes his head, trying not to give Eddie the attention he's clearly craving. He's a pervert, and Goodie's not playing into his exhibionist streak. 

Steve finally resurfaces from the bathroom, and Eddie stands.

"Time for bed," Eddie says, and then they're gone, the door to Eddie and Gareth's bedroom shutting with a heavy snick.

Gareth looks over at Goodie, and gives him a withering stare, "Thanks. Now my room's gonna smell like spunk. Again."

Goodie just cackles. Sucker.

Steve's moaning, Eddie's grunting, headboard hitting the wall, and honestly, Goodie thinks maybe he should have just kept his goddamn mouth shut. This is worse.

"How're they still like this, it's been years," Goodie says, not really asking a question. 

"Years?" Jeff asks, "The dancing around each other, maybe, but the fucking? That's brand new."

"You're shitting me?" Goodie asks, in disbelief. There's no fucking way. "Gareth?"

Gareth will know.

"A couple months?" Gareth offers, and Goodie cannot believe that's true. Eddie's been lusting for, talking about, obsessing over Steve Harrington ever since that weird spring break that sent Eddie to the hospital for weeks, with Steve a constant at his side. Steve had taken up permanent residency, like he was Wayne Newton in Vegas. 

Eddie wrapped up in soft sweaters that definitely weren't his own. 

They were together. Right? Definitely. These two just weren't observant.

Eddie punctuates his thought with a long, disgusting groan, that can only mean he's just come. 

"We gotta make some changes," Goodie says, "we can't live like this."

"We're barely here, Goods, let him have this," Jeff says, the peacemaker, the voice of reason. The herder of cats. 

"No," Goodie argues, just to argue. 

"Yes," Jeff counters, "if you don't, I bet Steve's cozy little house on Wabash is gonna look pretty damn good."

"Eddie wouldn't dare," Goodie snaps, and then he hears Eddie and Steve both giggling, and well, Eddie might.

Goddammit. 

"Fine, we'll be assaulted by the sights and sounds, but I won't be happy."

"None of us are," Gareth says in solidarity, agreeing with Goodie, for once. Hell has officially frozen over.

Eddie comes out, holding a towel over his junk, bare ass in the wind, grinning like an asshole as he heads towards the bathroom.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: This is inspired by Taylor's Swift song So High School. Steve knows how to ball, Eddie knows Aristotle. I don't make the rules.

Read Steve's POV on this situation right here in, Full Throttle.

[amethiosspouse]

erm what the flip, one ur bullying a minor and my bio literally says dni if you dont like my content ;-; /hj

seriously though, i've had your ANON request sitting in my inbox for so long i might as well reply to it (the fact that you didnt have the balls to send this ask without turning on anon is just fucking hilarious to me). i've been debating whether or not to reply to this ask for quite some time now and here i am growing a pair and doing so (UNLIKE YOU).

first of all, where do i even start??? how does me making (low quality) content of my self inserts bother you to the point where you send a WHOLE ASS HATE SPEECH abt how much you hate it??? like, this sounds so cliche but the block button exists for a reason. simple as that. theres people out there making literal pokemon nsfw for a living and here you are complaining about the fact that i ship myself with a character???

second of all, a good part of your paragraph is just you saying my character is offensive. AS A PERSON WHO ISNT EVEN NON BINARY??? firstly, who even are you to say that?? non binary people can represent themselves however they want to. same goes to everyone else in the LGBTQ community. and i NEVER once in my life, labelled my selfships as BL ships. most of my yumes are either gnc/nonbinary or straight up cis male and most of their ships are with male characters but i always label them as either MLM or just "the gays" cuz of my limited knowledge on what to call those types of queer relationships.

this is the last part im gonna cover before making more amemari shit to piss ppl off like you ig but gamefreak/nintendo themselves have NEVER once confirmed a characters sexuality (from memory) and judging by the wording of your last statement im assuming youre mad that i label amethio as someone who isnt straight...

amethio is gay and suck my balls bro he kisses me 24/7 get over it

seriously though, im still in awe someone would send me this and im happy to finally get this off my inbox <3

i could write more paragraphs abt how this persons hate paragraph doesnt make sense to me but im losing braincells as i type this and i honestly do not have the mental capacity to respond to this anymore.

to the anon who sent me this, try and find some real happiness apart from making fun of others and telling people what to do in life <3

[airlock]

y'know, I've been hearing about the new Zelda's $70 pricetag a lot -- but I've also been enduring a rough patch at uni, so I haven't been able to do any of the thinking or researching that I'd want to do before throwing my lot in there. regardless, there are two... fragments of points that I've had bouncing around in my head for a while, and I never see anyone getting close to them, so I figured I might as well lob them out to the internet to see if they'll bounce around enough to inspire some completed thoughts in anyone

the first thing: while Nintendo was the one that decided to take the first shot here and now, with a very highly anticipated title in one of its absolute flagship franchises, the matter of fact is that bumping up the Standard AAA Game Pricetag -- and to $70 exactly, even -- has been a talk in the industry for many, many years now. it's not a coincidence, or even just the industry's typical unparodiably vulture-like behavior, that as soon as Nintendo took the first shot, other studios were tripping over themselves to pin their next big releases at $70 as well.

(if you ask someone speaking for the studios, they'll probably tell you that $60 has been a downright generous pricetag for a long while now given how much production costs have soared in that time, and even $70 is still a steal all things considered. a less charitable point of view would invite you to consider why production costs are increasing so much anyway, despite that consumer satisfaction has long stopped increasing proportionally to that metric. is it an oversight, or a decision in the service of someone besides the consumer? that's not a rhetoric question, incidentally -- I did say these aren't finished thoughts.)

the second thing: first worlders have been much worried about what a price hike in games would mean for children, and to that I say: you may have more insight on the present situation if you look to countries where this sort of thing already has or still does happen.

I can say at the very least that, for a solid while here in Brazil -- that solid while having peaked around the 00s -- economic factors made the seemingly reasonable pricetag worldwide an oft-unthinkable one for most consumers (and the few that could actually afford videogames straight-up were still a stingy lot regardless). and what we did about it was... rampant piracy. and I don't just mean downloading shit, I mean that parents were buying their kids the sketchiest disks you can imagine to pop into their PS2s at home that probably weren't 100% the legit article either. owning a completely legitimate copy of any game was seen as some sort of Collector's Edition kind of rarity, even. anyway, I'm not exactly making predictions about how your first-world markets are going to adapt when/if videogames seriously slip out of the average consumer's grasp -- again, unfinished thoughts here -- but if you've been thinking about it, then this kind of thing may be worth studying up on.

[dogtoling]

You can have one bit of lore explained by Nintendo and given a canonical reason. What lore do you pick and why? Also, one of your theories is confirmed by Nintendo. Which theory do you pick and why?

i've thought about stuff like this way too much and this is probably a boring answer but the Top 1 thing i want them to answer the, for a lack of a better word... hammerspace/warp tech implications and No Fucking Sense making things in the gameplay. By that I mean clothes, special weapons, weapons as a whole, the ink tank and ink getting to the weapons thing. Anything i could ask about the world or inkling biology is ultimately meaningless, because we know enough tidbits to come up with our own conclusions, and you can still draw or write stuff by just coming up with things to fill the blanks, and things like inkling biology are something we are extremely likely to learn more about anyway.

The cartoon hammerspace and straight up magic is something we're NOT likely to learn about (seriously, i doubt anyone will ever ask lol) and it's also the ONE THING that actively makes writing about the gameplay literally impossible because it's a HUGE PLOT HOLE. And no matter what the answer would be, it would have big worldbuilding implications; if the answer was "yes there's hammerspace" then that's a fucking INSANE step forward in the world's tech and would completely change how the world.... works, and even if they said "don't think about it too hard, it's literally gameplay" that's still SOME ANSWER and it would be confirmation that I have to stop just Sitting Here expecting there to potentially be an answer. It would be a nice, good go-ahead to bend the rules a bit and just come up with my own answer because there IS NO ANSWER. So like TL;DR the age-old "why cartoon character do cartoon thing?" so i can finally stop ignoring the existence of turf wars (THE MAIN POINT OF THE WORLD) in my OC lore because they're literally unwriteable without adding in a bunch of shit

As for which theory I'd like to be made canon... this is kind of hard because a lot of my theories are made as alternate, more realistic options for things that are already implied in canon, so there's not a lot that COULD be canon without retconning existing canon, which is something I wouldn't want to do. But if I could pick one that's already kind of not canon (I was going to say the ink tank one, but i don't really care whichever way it goes as long as they make them make sense), then maybe the Kraken being an Inkling's deimatic display... just because we literally never got an explanation for what the Kraken is supposed to be and now they're being phased out of existence forever (seemingly). But also if they never bring back or acknowledge the Kraken then I don't really care because that means I get to do whatever I want with them anyway lol

[little-fairy-forest]

IVE HAD AN IDEA, HERE IS MY PRESENTATION

the boys with youtuber y/n

y/n does gaming (very good at it, occasionally streams and shes popular like 15+ million, ik a lot but she’s friends with like, jacksepticeye etc .. )

and also very funny random videos with top notch editing *wink* u get what i mean ... i hope

anyway, it’s almost like that whole, i wait for them to post if they left youtube idk what i’d do type beat and they genuinely love y/n and the content she makes.

🍀 hello again lovely! Ah I do love when a character lives the reader before they know? Or a platonic relationship :)

Boys x gamer youtuber!reader

Bakugou, Midoriya, Todoroki x reader, fluff, crack

Bakugou

Bakugou found your youtube page when you collabed with another streamer, he liked how you played, you got straight into it without a long ass intro, you don't out adds on your videos since well, your merch sells out each restock and your streams make enough that your happy

He likes how you go "undercover" in some online games, bash people around and then turn your mic on. He loves the reactions since they normally go back on their words if they insulted you

Be baught a stingy keychain of your logo of aliexpress since he didnt know if you shipped to japan, he keeps it on his house keys. He's not ashamed to support your brand, he just does not want to seem like those weird thirsty boys over you he sees on social media

Your social media comments are...in need of a bit of holy water to put it easy

He has your notifications on on everything, when you say your going on a short break for school or social life reasons..

He's pissed...

Seriously?! Couldn't even of thought to pre plan this and have spare videos made?

Whatever he will just watch old streams of yours

But if you are to announce you are leaving forever because of a few comments gone too far or people being disrespectful

He.is.pissed

Seriously!

He made a whole ass account on twitter to bash the people who made you leave, seriously he started to gain a little bit of following since drama channels recognized the account for defending you everytime

y/n_protect0r_4/20: seriously? what a load of idiots, how are yous gonna survive without their thirst traps now huh? Exactly you can't 🤡

y/n_protect0r_4/20 : wait until they come back after their break, your asses will be blocked! Hah!

When you eventually make your comeback you tell your fans that "y/n_protect0r_4/20" will receive a facetime as a thank you if they can prove they own the account

This boy was a mess! He was so sweaty! He gets to facetime you?? The fuck-

On the call you exchange numbers so you can watch his progress as a hero, you asked him and the bakusquad to join you for a live stream and omg

Funniest video you ever made! This thing went viral! From Kaminari pissing bakugou off to Sero being a master at COD, you invite them whenever their free to play a few rounds

Midoriya

He isn't all that into gaming but when he heard the nintendo switch was making a re-make of an old All Might game, he wanted to know all the spoilers!

News got around that you had early access to the game and you went live, he stayed up to watch it and yes, it was worth the eye bags

Millions of people tuned in to you starting the game off and played small bits since it was only a teaser, Midoriya took so many notes, and may of followed you to see the other game plays you do

He liked the just dance games you played with your friends since it was funny and other small games you test out to for your fans, may they be tiny shit games from a dodgy website to high end games that look amazing!

Midoriya liked how you could remember so much about each game and you didn't even take notes!

He did enjoy watching you get scared playing horror games since your reactions were really funny, he also enjoys watching "best bits" moments on youtube

He entered a competition to win some merch you had, when he found out he won..wow this boy fanboyed so hard!

He got a signed copy of the All Might game from you and All Might, a hoodie and a few stickers and keychains

You asked him to play multiplayer with you on a stream, this boy was so hyped, he told All Might immediately and told his friends

Bakugou was jealous...but everyone times in to watch!

You were impressed about his knowledge on the hero and what the game had to offer.

You messaged Midoriya asking to chat about heros one day after the stream and that's how you became buddies :)

Honestly you were so annoyed at how much this boy spoiled the game for you...

You and Midoriya would stream together on small games such as papas pizzeria or hero themed games, all PG!

Eri has made one or two appearances when you would do maybe a hairstyling game or a child friendly game such as cooking mama ♡

You and your fans love having this little broccoli boy in your streams and social medias, they even demanded merch to be made! You said you would hold off until Izuku became a hero so he could produce his first line of merch :)

Todoroki

Todoroki doesn't seem to be the type to like video games or watching random videos on YouTube, but when Kaminari was watching youtube in the common room on the tv with some others he was intrigued, why? Well your pretty face was on the screen :)

He understood the game you were playing quite quickly, it was animal crossing...

He asked if anyone wanted the game and a switch to go with it, many people thanked him since it was hard to grab a copy but with his dads shiney credit card he was able to snatch the game for his classmates ♡

He started to watch you play the game and developed your island, he went for more of a Japanese theme to is island, and it was amazing! Like seriously have you seen his dorm room?!

When you announced you would randomly be picking players islands to visit from Twitter, todoroki enters since he wanted to know what you thought of his island :)

You were amazed at his islands development in such sort amount of time! You asked him how he accomplished so much in such short amount if time

"Hard work"

Ok, so you asked him to help you on other multiplayer games in the future since many people found his "sense of humor" hilarious (little did they know he wasnt trying to be funny..like at all)

You both enjoyed simple games that weren't too hard to understand, mario kart was a big hit and the horror game granny..

Todoroki playing a horror game was very funny. One moment when there would be a jump scare he would respond "oh..didn't expect that" but it could also escalate to "*falls of chair* well, oh my that wasn't expected...um, can you take over?"

Poor thing refuses to play horror games now :(

He did enjoy Super Princess Peach for the nintendo DS "oh look she crys like Midoriya, wonder if he can grow plants like she can.."

Honestly he got his own "funny moments" on youtube and it was trending for a while until you make little merchandise of his face on stickers

Sold out within moments

He managed to convince Bakugou and Midoriya to join you in a stream of playing Smash bros, it got very aggressive so fast you had to end the stream! Your fans found it hilarious the comebacks Bakugou would through at Todorokis silly comments

"Oh look I beat you, hmm must take notes for next years sports festival" "the fuck you say icy hot?! You are playing as Kirby!"

Would pay so much money to see a dull voice over of todoroki playing cooking mama

Thank you for reading Navigation has been updated :)

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

So until I can figure out how to get a link to my rules page that works, here is a rules post instead for now that I'll tag to no end and I'll pin it to the top of my blog.

Rules/Muse lists below:

Rules to look at before you send an ask or prompt in. This is always changing, but anything I don’t have listed, as in I haven’t listed it as a “No” here, I will at least try to do the ask/prompt. If I don’t like the ask or prompt, I will be changing the rules to avoid it happening again. Anyways, here are the rules:

Fandoms I will write about and the characters in them.

RWBY - Anyone, but I won’t write Cardin, Adam, or Jacques in a main character sense or a winning light. Any females are fair game because they all rock.

Naruto Shippuden - The only male I’ll write for now is Naruto Uzumaki (my childhood idol XD). Honestly Naruto is so long I don’t even remember a fourth of the characters in that anime, but by the power of the internet, I can look up anyone I don’t remember.

Fairy Tail - The only male that I know that I’ll be okay with writing about is Natsu Dragneel, but I can try to do it for other guys too. Again, all females are free game from here.

High School DxD - Issei is a solid male for me to write, but others might work too like Kiba or Gasper. Any girls will work! (This show is more than just fan-service and they are actually really entertaining. It needs more appreciation.)

Borderlands - Anyone is fair game from here (For now) EXCEPT FOR HANDSOME JACK! (unless he's getting shit on)

Sekirei - Some seriously hot babes. Everyone is free game from here.

Infinite Stratos - Say what you want about it. I like it. Everyone is free game.

Marvel and DC Universe - Since these are such vast fandoms, I don’t know who I would and would NOT write, so send in whatever you want, but please understand if I don’t know what you’re talking about or know the characters you mention. I’ll let you know if I won’t write your ask/prompt though.

Random Muses/Characters I want to try to write:

ANY OF @jace-the-writer-guy OCs, who he was awesome enough to give me permission to write! Though I recommend sending asks you him about them first instead because I might not do them justice.

K/DA girls (Akail, Ahri, Evelynn, Kai'Sa) - League of Legends [K/DA and Normal LoL Versions]

Juniper Arc - My OC for Jaune Arc’s mother. Her bio can be found here: https://dragonotaku-justineverything.tumblr.com/post/183086717187/hey-jaune-we-dont-really-hear-much-from-your

Camilla Nohr, Corrin Nohr (Male version of MC), Kamui Nohr (Female version of MC) - Fire Emblem: Fates

Bowsette AND Booette - The minds of internet users and Nintendo Mario universe

Cynthia, Flannery, Hilda, Sonia, Professor Juniper - Pokémon

Jessica Rabbit - Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?

Android 21 (Majin and normal), Android 18, Zangya - Dragon Ball Z

Samus Aran - Metroid

Seras Victoria and Sir Integra - Hellsing Ultimate

Mito Ikumi (Nikumi) - Food Wars (Shokugeki no soma)

Olga Discordia and Chloe - Kuroinu (I mean have you seen them!?!)

Jessica Nigri - A real person and the voice of Cinder Fall in RWBY (Was voted to be added by the people) I WILL NOT WRITE ASKER INSERTS WITH HER!!!

Kinks I WILL NOT write:

NO SCAT OR WATERSPORTS!

NO NTR! NO CUCKING! NO CHEATING! Sorry, but I don’t like that stuff.

No abuse, snuff, ball/ovary busting, mutilation, dismemberment, vore, gore or torture.

No straight up rape. (Consensual non-con roleplay is okay TO SOME DEGREE!)

No extreme sadism or hard core BDSM. Some light bondage and things like light whipping are okay though.

No bestiality with real animals. (Pokémon and Grimm are okay-ish, but I still might say no)

No unwanted humiliation (Consent on both sides)

May do some blackmail posts, but it is a hit or miss with me on those. Sorry if I won’t want to do what you send in, but I won’t if I don’t like it or am not comfortable with it.

Alternate Universes (AUs) I write:

RWBY

Single Father Jaune AU:

Sports AU/Sports Doctor Jaune AU:

Maid and Butler AU:

Movie Star AU:

Sekirei in Remnant AU:

Hera:

Dating a Porn Star AU:

Single Mother Blake AU:

Abandoned Arc AU:

Pokémon in Remnant AU:

Arc Ops AU:

Jaune Sempai AU:

High school DxD

Devils Pokémon AU:

I’m always up for hearing new suggestions for fandom AUs, but I won’t always except them.

For now this is what I have. If it follows these rules I will do my best to write it, but these rules are subject to change.

[theowhy]

[thiam] following footsteps

2.4k / g / oneshot

note: hello friends :’) long time no post, i just never have any free time these days. my writing brain cells are rusty but here’s a short thing that was meant to be a, uh, christmas fic but that i couldn’t wrangle into shape until now. it’s not terribly contingent on the christmas season and i hope it’s enjoyable even two months late lmao

The cold is the worst thing when Liam finally comes to. Everything bombards him at once: the bruising ache in his back, the smell of dirt and pine and damp clothes. But the cold—that chills him straight to his bones.

“Shit,” Liam says.

“‘Shit’ is right,” says Theo, a disembodied voice somewhere off to Liam’s left because Liam can’t even bear to open his eyes yet. He’d recognize Theo’s presence even if blind or dead.

How annoying. Though in this moment, it gives Liam a weary sense of comfort, knowing he’s not alone.

“What happened?” he groans, bringing a hand up to gingerly touch his temple where a headache currently pounds.

“You got your ass handed to you,” Theo says. He shifts, clothes rustling, a crunching sound beneath his feet.

Ice? Liam opens his eyes.

They were in the forest, he finally remembers. And sure enough, they’re surrounded by dark trees and a white landscape, grey clouds beyond them, a hard ground beneath. There are rocks, too: Theo must have found some kind of outcropping in the hills to shelter from the snow flurrying through the air. Had he dragged Liam under here after… whatever happened before he was out?

“Yes, I dragged you here,” Theo says, then rolls his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that, your face was obvious.”

Liam grimaces. “Did I get hit?”

“Thrown through a tree, actually.” There’s way too much pep in Theo’s voice when he says it. He points out away from them, towards a splintered tree stump in the distance. Its other half lies not far past it, slowly being buried beneath the snow. “That one.”

“Ouch.” Explains why Liam’s back is killing him. “What was it?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I got thrown through a tree, cut me some slack.” Liam gingerly moves to sit up and rub some warmth back into his arms.

“It was… I don’t even know how to describe it.” Theo frowns as he remembers. “I’ve never seen anything like it before. This big white ball of… energy. Ice. It got mad when it saw us and blew you into that tree. There’s been a snowstorm ever since.”

“Did you… kill it?” Liam asks apprehensively.

“Hell no, I grabbed you and hauled ass. You’re lucky it didn’t follow.”

“So it’s still out there? We have to tell the others.”

Theo wordlessly digs into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He taps the home button. The screen doesn’t light up.

Liam gapes. “Did you seriously bring an uncharged phone out into the middle of nowhere?”

“It’s not my fault you were out for an hour, okay?” Theo snarls. “We were supposed to take a quick look around and go back, I didn’t know some mythical snow spirit whatever the fuck was going to attack us. At least my phone is still in one piece.”

“What?” Dread sinks into Liam’s stomach. He digs into his back pocket, pulls out a mess of circuits and glass and dented metal. He squeaks, “Oh no.”

“Yeah, nice.” Theo sighs. “What is that, your second phone this year?”

“Third.” Liam buries his head in his hands. “My parents are going to kill me.”

It was hard enough convincing them to let him go on this trip to the mountains, where Scott and the rest of the pack had rented a cabin for the weekend. Ostensibly it was to investigate reports of sudden blizzards and extreme snowfall, something Deaton had thought concerning enough for them to check out. But in actuality, none of them expected it to be anything more than some random meteorological weirdness. Scott brought his Nintendo Switch and Mario Kart. Lydia brought wine.

But they’d hardly settled into the cabin before Scott suggested they take a look around before dark, just to get some work in before Mario Kart and chill. Figures Liam didn’t even get the chance to kick Theo’s butt at Mario Kart before the universe decided to screw him over and make his parents ground him forever. It’s not his fault his life suddenly became full of a whole lot more fighting than Liam ever expected, even into his senior year of high school.

“There’s no way I’m gonna try and find my way back in this blizzard,” Theo says, with the finality of a nail into a coffin. “So I suggest you get comfortable.”

Liam sighs, watches the white puff of his breath fade into the air. The wind howls in long, drawn out tones. His whole backside is wet from lying on the ground. His head still hurts.

“Yeah, real easy,” he mutters, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. First things first, try to get his body to stop shivering.

There’s quiet for a moment. Liam’s so preoccupied finding any vestiges of warmth in his body that he startles when something soft is pushed onto his head. He turns his gaze towards Theo.

Theo, whose beanie has now been placed on Liam’s head.

“It ain’t much, but take it,” Theo says, hardly more than a murmur, nearly lost to the sound of the wind. But Liam hears him.

“I’m fine,” he says.

Theo rolls his eyes. “Liam, just take it.”

“But what about you?”

“I can handle a little cold.” Theo crosses his arms tighter, breathes a big exhale that sends a shroud of white around him, thick as smoke. It hides him for a moment but fades away soon enough. His hair is mussed from tugging his beanie off. His nose and cheeks are red, and there are stray snowflakes on Theo’s shoulders, caught in strands of his hair.

It’s more than just a little cold. The beanie helps, in a small way; Theo had given what little he could. That matters, Liam thinks.

It must be that—along with instinctual, human need—that compels Liam to scoot closer until he’s pressed up against Theo’s side.

Theo goes rigid.

He doesn’t say anything. Neither does Liam.

Finally, Theo says, “What are you doing?”

“It’s cold,” Liam says simply. “You said get comfortable.”

“Comfortable does not mean sitting on top of me.”

“I’m not on top of you,” Liam scoffs. “We gotta huddle for warmth.”

“Sure, huddle. Not cuddle.” Theo pointedly scoots away. Liam follows. “Liam.”

“Theo, come on. I’m not dying out here.”

“I’m not dying out here, either,” Theo says, then shuts his mouth.

Liam laughs.

“Glad you find this funny,” Theo grumbles, but this close together, Liam can feel the way he relaxes, the way he presses in by one reluctantly given inch. But it’s something.

Liam tugs the beanie more snugly onto his head, trying not to smile. Yeah. It’s something.

It doesn’t change the fact that they’re stuck out here until whichever happens first: the blizzard goes away (not looking likely), the pack finds them (even less likely, given that Liam hopes they have the wisdom to stay out of the blizzard, too), or God intervenes. Liam’s never had much luck with the last one.

So he takes in his surroundings instead. There isn’t much to see, really, besides trees, trees, and more trees. The occasional bush. Plenty of snow. And—

“Oh!” Liam says, sitting up straighter and pointing. “Mistletoe!”

Theo doesn’t even look and says, “Nice try, Liam. If you wanted to kiss, you could just ask.”

Liam sputters and shoves Theo hard on the shoulder, which hardly budges him. Theo smirks. “No, dude, ugh. Christmas was like a month ago, anyway. I mean there’s literally mistletoe growing on the trees.”

“Riveting,” Theo drawls, but humors Liam anyway. He looks out to where Liam’s pointing at a bushy mass growing in the branches of one of the trees ahead of them. “That it?”

“Yeah.” Liam squints. He can see its leaves rustling with the wind, how different they are from the leaves of the oak tree it rests in. “Phoradendron villosum. Pacific mistletoe. Don’t eat it.”

“I know that.”

“Did you know mistletoe is a parasite?”

“It’s poisonous, that doesn’t surprise me.” Theo looks mildly interested anyway, and Liam feels a small thrill of victory over it. It’s not often that he gets to share some biology knowledge that Theo doesn’t already know. “So why are people obsessed with hanging it in doorways and stuff?”

“Why do people do anything? Superstition. Folklore.” A particularly strong gust of wind sends a branch of the mistletoe flying. It lands in the snow a few feet ahead of them. “Some cultures saw it as a symbol of fertility. I guess the white berries remind them of—er.”

An awkward beat of silence.

Theo says, “I hope the snow kills us soon.”

Liam’s face burns. At least he feels a little less cold now.

He clears his throat. “Anyway… It’s also associated with protection from witches and demons and stuff.”

“I never took you for a mistletoe nerd.”

“I wrote a report about them in freshman bio. It was kind of interesting. Makes it a little less romantic to know they actually kill the trees they grow on.”

“How beautiful,” Theo says flatly. “You’re still a nerd, though.”

“Shut up.” Liam nudges his shoulder against Theo’s. The corner of Theo’s mouth tugs up just slightly.

Liam’s never done it before, kissed someone under the mistletoe. Hayden came and went too quickly for them to ever reach Christmas, and there hasn’t really been anyone since. There was never any time. And, more honestly, no one else has ever made him feel quite the same.

Well. Almost no one else.

But that’s only ever been a passing daydream, one that’s plagued him in random moments. On an elevator ride back down to the first floor of Beacon Hills Memorial. In the passenger seat of a truck. In sparse texts, shared late at night long after pack meetings have ended.

In a snowy forest, surrounded by no one else.

“Hey, Theo,” Liam says.

Theo grunts and turns towards him.

“What?” he says.

Liam presses their lips together. Theo stops breathing.

A kiss would describe it generously. Liam breathes when it becomes evidently clear that Theo won’t. That’s fine. Taking him by surprise is pretty nice. In any case, the kiss ends almost as soon as it began, and Liam pulls away from the corner of Theo’s mouth. The warmth lingers afterwards.

“W-What the hell was that for?” Theo stammers—Theo, stammering—and brings his hand up over his mouth.

“Mistletoe,” Liam says.

“You—idiot.” Theo brings his other hand up to cover his face, but it’s not enough to hide the red lingering at the tips of his ears. It’s a nice color. “You are so… You…”

“Yeah, you too,” Liam says, not bothering to suppress a grin.

Theo gives him a look through the gaps between his fingers, and Liam expects him to grind out another poorly executed insult when Theo drops his hands, his eyes widening, mouth falling slack.

“What?” Liam says.

Theo just grabs him by the shoulders and tugs him back, further into their little shelter.

“What?” Liam says again, more irately. He turns to look where Theo keeps gaping over Liam’s shoulder.

He finds a great, big ball of blue. Liam’s voice dies in his throat.

His first thought is of ball lightning, something he and Mason had spent one sleepover watching way too many videos of on YouTube. In truth, they didn’t care for the science of it rather than the fact that it looked super fucking cool. Just a sphere of pure energy and light, sweeping through open plains or swathes of sky. This doesn’t feel quite like that, but on the surface it seems the same: crackling, blue-white energy, swirling in a sphere that must be a meter wide, at least. Its core is opaque, like hard ice, and there’s a strange hum about it as it drifts closer to them.

It is frighteningly close. Theo draws an arm out across Liam, pushing him against the rocks at their back. But the sphere doesn’t attack them, doesn’t whip them with a sharp slice of wind like Liam was hit with earlier.

It only drifts over their hiding spot, passing by like an elk through the woods. Calm and constellated with flecks of ice and snow. Something about it feels as old as time itself.

Both of them hold their breaths as it passes. It disappears over them, drifting over the hill. The winds calm. The snowfall begins to diminish until it ceases completely.

It’s quiet.

They stay still for one, two, three heartbeats. Then Theo drops his arm. They both exhale.

“Holy shit,” Liam says, panting like he ran a marathon. “Was that it?”

“No, it was a different big blue ice ball,” Theo says. “Of course that was it.”

“That… was awesome.” Liam crawls out of their shelter to look around for any sign of it. It’s long gone, not even a trail left in its wake.

“I see you’ve already forgiven it for trying to kill you.”

“I don’t want to get thrown through a tree again, but it didn’t attack us this time. We probably spooked it earlier. And look, it stopped the blizzard.”

“You’re way too chipper for seeing something that unreal,” Theo says, following Liam out.

The newly returned sunlight falls over Theo’s shoulders, making him that much easier to see. Theo turns his face up to the sun. His damp hair curls at his temples.

Despite Theo’s griping, Liam can see the wonder in his eyes, the way they glow. He looks alive. Liam thinks about how the blood inside him and the blood inside Theo must be the same, despite everything.

Liam says, “Hey. Thanks.”

Theo frowns. “Why?”

“For saving me earlier.” And the time before that. And the time before that.

Theo scoffs, and where Liam usually sees shutters falling over his face, a mask piecing back together, now he sees a hint of a smile. Something brighter, underneath.

“Whatever,” Theo says, and snatches his beanie off Liam’s head so he can ruffle his hair aggressively.

“Dude!” Liam yelps. 

Theo laughs and whirls away, tearing through the snow in a direction Liam will have to trust is home.

There’s no hesitation at all before Liam chases after him.

--

note: big ice ball inspired by the leschach entite of ffxii. because..... im a nerd :p 

[kkgbutsane]

The First Day of School

It was a dewy morning. Not too hot, not too cold, far too humid. It was the usual for Hyakkou High School, where students came to learn and excel in their studies while maintaining good social relationships. The school was usually filled with many different students. Any stereotype you could think of, Hyakkou had it. 

The students usually had fun. The Principal was quite lax when it came to certain things. All he asked of the students was to respect each other and respect the building. And to keep their grades up of course. They would be failing as a school if the students weren’t receiving the proper education!

And this is where their story begins.

“Ack. Hey! Mary!” Ryota called out from behind the blonde, who was currently looking down on her phone. The boy ran up to his best friend, hooking his arm around the back of her neck to bring her into a headlock. “Hey! Don’t mess up my hair you dork!” Mary growled, trying to wrestle her way out of Ryota’s lock.

The two continued their conundrum until they reached the gates of the school, where Mary finally got a good grip and threw her friend over her shoulder, thus leading to him falling on his backpack. “Ow…,” he muttered, smiling like an idiot.

Mary Saotome and Ryota Suzui had been friends since childhood. They were even neighbors, and she often came over to his house to play on his Wii with him. Their friendship had blossomed into a relationship.

Until they realized they were better off as best friends. In fact, after they had broken up and continued to be platonic, it seemed as though their friendship grew stronger.

“Hi guys!” The two heard a familiar voice, registering it as their other best friend, Yumeko Jabami. Yumeko had met them all in middle school, when she had moved here with her sister. The ravenette was one to take risks, and found pleasure in dangerous things. Of course, only in moderation. In reality, the only things she had taken much risk for was a move in a fighting game. Or a board game.

Her bubbly exterior was often in place of her mellow interior. She tended to keep to herself truly, unless with her friends.

“Yumeko!” Ryota yelled happily, jogging over and scooping the girl in a tight hug. Much to his delight, Yumeko returned the hug tenfold.

“ShiT, I can’t breaTHE-,” he barely managed, his face turning purple. He should have known, the girl was a strong hugger. “Oi, calm down you two, before I separate you guys for 10 minutes straight, and I know that will be a pain since you usually do homework together in the mornings,” Mary stated, crossing her arms. Yumeko finally relented, giving Ryota’s respiratory system some reprieve. Yumeko looked quite meek, but she could give hugs like no other.

“Mary!” Yumeko giggled, giving the blonde another one of her bone crushing hugs. “Sup, dumbass,” Mary replied, smiling softly at her friend’s gestures of affection. “Are you all ready for your first days of school!?” 

It was the start of junior year for the three, and boy were their classes packed. Ryota was taking a few classes on science and health, as well as a gym class to exercise and get fit. He wanted to be a firefighter, and such education was necessary to ensure he was a good candidate for the job.

“I have… Anatomy first period. Woohoo,” Mary sighed. She was actually quite excited, but decided not to show it in order to keep her cool exterior. The path she had chosen was Emergency Medical Services, and taking anatomy was the first step in her opinion.

“Oh? That’s so wonderful! I have Calculus for my first period. I wonder if Sayaka is going to be in that class!” Yumeko said eagerly. Sayaka was one of the other kids attending this school. The girl mainly kept to herself, but she had recently started acquainting herself with the ravenette.

“Gah! Sorry I’m late guys! I kinda missed my bus…” A ginger voice panted, revealed to be none other than Itsuki Sumeragi. The strawberry blonde had met the three last year when she was a sophomore. After transferring from a private school to Hyakkou, the tight-knit group had taken her in, welcoming her as one of their own. “Hey! I heard there’s gonna be a pair of new students! I hear they’re seniors,” Itsuki gossiped, taking out her Nintendo Switch and turning it on.

“Ooh, Smash? Let’s do this!” Ryota declared, taking his controller and setting it to his button map.

“So what about these new students? Do they seem weird or anything?” Mary inquired, picking her character, King K. Rool, and setting her button map. “Oh come on, why do you ALWAYS play heavies!?” Ryota complained, picking Marth as his character. “Because heavies are fucking goated, why else?” the blonde snarked back, a sly smirk on her face.

“I don’t know. But I heard they’re twins!” Itsuki giggled, sitting down to watch them play.

“Heya guys,” a shrill voice came out of nowhere. “You playin’ Smash? I’ll join!” it giggled. Runa had seemingly appeared out of nowhere in her oversized jacket. “Oh no…,” The entire group groaned.

“Runa, you’re cool and all, but whenever we play with you, you find a way to resize our assholes every match in different ways. I really don’t want to get 0-to-deathed consecutively while you stay on three stocks. Seriously, how the fuck do you even do it!?” Mary spoke, seemingly for the entire group. “I dunno, just practice TBH,” was all Runa said, picking up a controller. “And fuck you, I’m playing anyway.” 

The sound of groans could be heard around the courtyard after that statement.

Sayaka Igarashi, resident Valedictorian-to-be, had come over to the table with Midari Ikishima, who was dragging along a seemingly sleepy senior. “C’mon Yuriko. I know you have senioritis but our friends are here!” Midari grumbled, literally dragging Yuriko. Yuriko Nishinotounin had gotten a severe case of Senioritis, especially since most of her classes were a breeze this year. 

“Would you both calm down please!? They’re playing a game, and I’m trying to read!” Sayaka chided, mentally swearing at the rebel. “Chill out, Sayaka, Yuriko is already falling asleep on me and it’s not even 7:30!” Midari grumbled.

“I can’t wait for senior year to be over,” Yuriko yawned, sitting on the table everyone was at basically falling asleep.

“What the fu- NO!” Mary yelled, distracted by Yuriko long enough for Runa to get a move on her, resulting in her virtual demise. “Fuuuuck!” she sighed, hitting her head against the wooden table. “FUCK!” she repeated, after feeling the pain that came along with it. Ryota had already fallen out of the competition.

Please nerf Lucas.

Yumeko hummed happily to herself, reading some random tabloid article on her phone. As the bell rang, they all dispersed into their classes.

“See you guys later!” Ryota called, jogging over to the weight room for his first period.

The three girls had made their way over to the Portables, then separating into their classrooms. 

Sayaka practically dragged her two friends to their classes and then her own, all while keeping to the schedule. Anatomy was her first period, and she sat next to Mary. 

It wouldn’t be too bad of a year. Mary was a good student and wasn’t too hard to talk to. She just mostly liked to keep to herself.

“Good morning class! Welcome to Anatomy! You guys are obviously gonna be learning about the body, it’s functions, what is where and what goes where and woop dee dah, all the good stuff! Hopefully I can make learning about how food passes through the body actually entertaining for y’all, but first we have two new students with us today! They’ve recently transferred over, so let’s give ‘em a warm welcome to Hyakkou!” The teacher, Mrs. Murray, announced. She looked a bit older, with a tall figure and ginger hair in her face. Her glasses looked odd, but it added to her look.

People like Mrs. Murray because she was actually a good teacher. She cared about her students and actually helped them if they needed it.

“Ladies, if you would please introduce yourselves!” 

The entire class looked at the two, and for a moment they thought they saw double.

“Hello. My name is Kirari Momobami. I’m a senior here, and it’s a pleasure to meet you all. I hope we can get along,” The girl, now known as Kirari, had stated.

It seemed her sister’s turn was up next.

“Er.. I’m Ririka Momobami. We’re twins. I hope we can… have a good time!” Ririka muttered, almost too quietly for the class to hear.

Mrs. Murray smiled and beckoned them to take their seats.

Their seats were in front of both Sayaka and Mary, who seemed to be in a state of both ‘gay’ and ‘panic’.

The two twins looked vastly different, with Kirari’s hair done in twin loop braids and dressed in a rather classy manner, while Ririka’s hair was free to fall.

Wait.

Did Ririka have a sweatshirt that had the Poggers Man on it?

Mary internally laughed at that. It was adorable.

When class had dispersed to work in groups, Mary and Sayaka had picked each other on instinct, then looking for two more partners to start their work on.

“Sayaka!” Mary whisper-yelled, a small blush on her face. She then gestured to her phone to text the girl.

Mary S: HOLY SHIT IM GAY

Sayaka I: I am too. Which one are you gay for?

Mary S: Ririka.

Sayaka I: Oh. I like her too.

Mary glared at Sayaka for a moment.

Mary S: The one with the adorable hair and clothing?

The blonde mentally facepalmed, of course Sayaka would think that. No matter the twin.

Sayaka I: Yes. I love how her hair is done. Plus her shirt looks nice.

Mary S: Oh. So the one with the weird braids?

Sayaka I: Don’t call them weird.

Mary S: ok but dont worry cause im crushing on the other twin. I swear her sweatshirt is adorable.

Sayaka I: .

Sayaka I: poggers

Mary S: LMAO HOLD UP IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS ONE

Sayaka I: Be my guest.

The two had reluctantly come up to the twins.

“Hello! I am Sayaka Igarashi, and this is Mary Saotome. It seems you both don’t have another pair, so if you’d like, we can work with you,” Sayaka stated, trying to sound as polite as possible. Nothing could hide the blush on her face though.

“Sure, I would love to work with you both,” Kirari replied, a small smirk forming on her face.

Ririka just nodded with a small smile.

It was going to be a long year.

[obsessive-ego]

Hot and sweaty

Anyone else hate hot weather and get super sweaty?

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Warning nsft

Voyeurism, masterbation

You come home sweaty and beej has a thing for that smell

You hated summer, you hated the heat, unfortunately your home town was known for its gross summers, it was hot, heavy, and muggy. Running errands openly sucked on days like this, you didnt drive, and the grocery store was only 2km from your home, which was fine during any other time.

The Deetz have asked you to "babysit" beetlejuice while they were on a vacation, the maitlands also pleaded this so they could have some alone time, you didnt mind, you enjoyed the demon's presence, and he yours, ever since you sucker punched him after a jump scare gone wrong, he became very clingy to you.

You were walking back home after retrieving misc groceries and snacks for movie night with Beej, unfortunately today was one of those hot and muggy days, you could feel the sweat rolling down your back, you felt so gross, hopefully you can steal some time to yourself and shower when you got home. Beetlejuice was already there, you summoned him this morning, but realized shortly after you still had adult things to do, he pouted about it, like usual, but shit needs to get done, that's how it is for the living.

Heading up to your apartment you felt sorta relieved, you felt so slimy and gross form the heat, but you were home.

Unlocking the door and heading inside to you small apartment, before you could even take your shoes off the bags you were carrying were gone, and you were pulled into the tight, cold embrace, of your undead friend.

The sudden temperature drop made you sigh in contentment, you weren't exactly the touchy feely type, but this was nice.

"Happy to see me doll? You missed me that much in the hour you were gone? Glad to see we're on the same page sugar" he laughs

You pull away, obviously embarrassed

"Where did you put my bags?" You sigh, finally removing your sneakers

"Away, dont worry about it" the ghoul pauses before leaning in close and taking a deep breath through his nose. "You smell different, stronger"

Your deodorant must have crapped out on you, you sigh, you probably smelled really bad, you could feel your shirt clinging to you back with how sweaty you were.

"Sorry, it's just really hot out and-" your babbling was interrupted with Beej leaning in closer, mouth practically against your ear.

"You smell really good sweet heart" he purrs, you flinch and move away out of panic.

For once his flirting and your reaction wasnt followed by his awful cackle, looking back he had that awful smug smirk he always wore when he got a rise out of you, but also the electric pink hue mixed in with the green mess of his hair, was he actually serious?!

Regaining yourself, you take a deep breath "I'm gonna shower okay? Please-"

You were interrupted by the snap of him fingers "Please Mr Beetlejuice, would you like to join me and scrub my back~?" You cover your mouth at that.

Beetlejuice laughs "I would love to doll, but I ain't a fan of water, I wouldn't mind watching though" he hollers after you as you had to the washroom.

He was messing with you and he was disgusting, so he probably did like the way your sweaty body smelled, you huff through your nose, you wish he was a tad easier to read, the hair helped, but it only went so far, the man never took anything seriously so he could be almost impossible to read, all you knew was that he liked to mess with you, and despite how awful and gross he could be, you honestly really enjoyed him being around, slipping out of your clothes, you couldnt help but smell you shirt, yup, it was as bad as expected, not to mention a little damp, gross, at least a shower will make you feel better.

Alone in the living room, the ghoul sighs, shame you decided to shower, he thought you were fine the way you were, smelled real good too, he knew how sweaty you got and how good it smelled from digging in your dirty laundry basket, you were the type to work out, so it was no surprise, he just never got to smell it straight from the source, would have LOVED to get to lick your neck and get a good taste though.

Lost in his own thoughts he is brought back with the sound of running water, you were gonna take a shower, you NEVER did that when he was around, and here he was not taking the opportunity.

With a snap of his fingers he was invisible, as much as he hated being invisible, this was an exception. Walking into the bathroom, he sits himself on the sink, your shower didnt have a window door like the Deetz, I was a a normal curtain, but transparent enough where he could see your silhouette. he sighs, content in the little show you're providing, he catches something out of his peripheral vision, your clothes you were wearing when you came in, they were thrown in a little pile on the floor, on top of the pile laided a bright red pair of panties, freshly worn, this was perfect, but the real question was 'would you notice?'. There was a real good chance you wouldn't, there was no way youd put back on your dirty sweet smelling clothes after a shower right? Right, youd probably just toss them in the laundry, it felt like an eternity debating on if he could get away with adding this crown jewel to his collection of cum rags he stole from you, he bit the bullet and took them, praying on your oblivious nature to not notice.

Once the lacy fabric was in his hand he was gone, leaving you to enjoy his new treasure. With a small apartment there really wasnt much places he could hide when you were around so he could tend to his urges, the bathtub was the go to, but that wasnt an option right now. Instead he took the hall closet, the only things it held were a vaccum, a few coats, and a pair of rain boots.

The running water stopped, beetlejuice carefully listened for you, hearing you move from the bathroom to your bedroom to get dressed, at frist he debated should he watch you dress or enjoy his new treasure asap, he chose the panties, the ghoul could watch you dress anytime, but these, fresh off your sweaty body panties, were rare and the opportunity probably wont come again.

With that thought he was set, bringing the crotch of the garment to his nose and inhaling deeply, he let's out a low quiet groan. These were so much stronger then the others, he fumbles with the fly on his pants, eager to free his ever hardening cock. Curious he licks the crotch, pleasantly surprised by the lingering taste of you, he let's out a soft whine, god slash satan he wanted to taste you from the source, but damn this was pretty close. The demon began lazily stroking his cock, your red panties pressed to his face, giving him the ability to both lick and smell them, bucking into his hand, the ghoul couldnt help but imagine you sitting on his face, fresh from a long workout or a walk in the heat, whatever would make you nice and sweaty for him, you would be shouting out how much you loved his tongue while you reached around and jerked him off.

Jerking himself a little faster he mumbles "you like that sugar? Yeah you do, you smell just as good as you taste sweetness, no wonder I call ya sugar~".

The closest was completely illuminated but BJ electric pink hair, he was completely lost in his own pleasure, his heart, if it was still beating, would have stopped completely when he herd you call his name, he completely forgot you were in the other room.

The ghoul had to think fast, get you off his trail until he finished, yes he liked you in a romantic way, soft kisses, dumb jokes, and pound you into the mattress kinda way, and yes he knew you liked him, but he was still unsure of how much, so finding him in his current situation could really ruin what chance he had with you, youd probably be sick to your stomach and banish him for good.

With that in mind he had the perfect little distraction.

You were finally dry and freshly clothed, feeling much more comfortable, wandering around your home looking for the demon who was so eager minutes ago when you walked in. This was odd, Beetlejuice would normally wait infront of the bathroom door or bedroom door when you were doing something private, normally chatting with you, but not this time, it was always worrying when beetlejuice was quiet.

Wandering around you start calling out his nicknames, you stop in your tracks as a little note appearing from no where flutters down in front of you, grabbing it, it was obviously written by Beej, the hand writing alone screamed it.

'Gone scaring, be back soon, love the ghost with the most' you sigh, he must if got bored waiting for you, you shurg it off heading to the living room to play some Nintendo while you wait for him to return.

Assuming that you bought his little note, he returns his attention to your panties, moving them from his face after one last long sniff, he stifles a moan, bringing the cloth to his throbbing cock, wrapping it with your panties. As much as the ghoul wanted to fuck you proper this was a close as he was gonna get for the time being, having his aching cock envelope by your heat would be a dream cum true, but having your fresh scent wrapped around his meat was a close second.

With the image of you moving your sex from him mouth to his cock for a ride, he began stroking himself once again, the image of you bouncing up and down on his cock, shouting out praises and your chest bounces. biting his knuckles while little moans and groans slip out, the demon couldnt help mumbling "you're so good for me Y/N, you like that? You love it dont you?". Bucking hard into his hand, his precum being soaked up by your undies, he knew he wasnt gonna last any longer, the thought of you begging him to finish inside of your pussy was more then enough to send him over the edge, soaking your little red panties with his cum, removing the garment, he cleans up the rest of his mess with the lacy cloth before pocketing it, he'll toss it in the wash later, as much as hed loved to slip it into your underwear drawer in Hope's youd wear them, you weren't that oblivious.

He finishes adjusting himself, straightening out his jacket and sliding his now soft cock back into his pants, the ghoul hums to himself completely content in himself.

Chilling on the couch playing animal crossing you are interrupted but a loud gravely voice "HONEY I'M HOME" glancing up in the direction of his voice the ghoul was next to you in a flash, you flinched at the sudden movement, beetlejuice drapes an arm over you shoulder and pulls you close

"Ya miss me babes? You smell real nice, but I'd rather you be hot a sweaty for me again, I got a few ideas in mind to get ya-" you shove him off

"Haha very funny, keep it up and no home delivery pizza tonight" you tease

Bj frowns for a second before pulling you back into him arms "babes you live for what I do too much to deny yourself the pleasure of my performance" he cackles

As much as you hate to give him the satisfaction, you admit your defeat and agree.

This was gonna be a great week together

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it---because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree---so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

4. Pat Will Not Tweet at Nintendo This Week Because He is Resting at Home — PLEASE RETWEET, Episode 12 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 0 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +1 Total Score: 11

I know I’m breaking a rule I set for myself a few paragraphs earlier by including an episode of Please Retweet, which counts as a video series, but this is my post and I can do whatever I want. More importantly, this video is so fucking funny to me, it feels like it would be a crime not to put it in this list. 

Solid 5 out of 5 for entertainment. Pat Gill, alone in his apartment, drinking six cans of what I think is beer silently while the intro music plays. That scene in itself should win an Oscar. Sadly, a solid 0 for Education, because I learn nothing in this video except for the fact that Pat Gill is the type of person to put out a coaster and then just completely not use it. I quantify things as educational if I can maybe answer a trivia question with them, and unfortunately, this fact does not pass that test. In terms of Exaltation, seeing Pat Gill lie down on the floor next to his cat made me get out of bed to do the same with my dog, and with myself thusly out of my bed cocoon of sadness, I was able to actually complete tasks on the day I watched this video. Perfect 5.

BONUS: Pat is +1 hot in this because there’s something very beautiful about him being a little bit miserable. However, I do miss his beard when I watch this video. It is one of my favorite things about him, and it is not present here.

3. Pat and Simone Play Human: Fall Flat

Entertainment: 5 Education: 1 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: 0 Total Score: 11

I very much enjoy Polygon’s gameplay streams. I often play them in the background while I’m doing other stuff like doodling or origami, but this stream is special. It is special because of the moment at 24:00 when Pat Gill, in game, swings a stereo into a glass window, shattering it, while saying, “Actually, y’know what? Let’s talk about trauma.” and then proceeds to tell a horrible and embarrassing story from his childhood where he had to do a rap about Ancient Egypt. 

5 points for Entertainment. This is partly because of Pat’s tragic childhood story about the Egypt Rap (and, segue just to point out 33:22 the incredible moment where you can hear Pat’s feral panic when Simone finds the lyrics to the Egypt Rap) but also because Pat and Simone just talking to each other is so deeply entertaining to me in a very comfy way. I’m starved for human interaction, in this quarantime, okay. Let me enjoy listening to other people have conversations while playing video games. Education scores a 1 because, again, nothing in this video will let me answer a trivia question, however it does get 1 point and not a 0 because the Egypt Rap’s lyrics are in the comments and I did end up learning stuff about Ancient Egypt that I didn’t know. A perfect 5 for Exaltation because this video showed me that talking about trauma can actually be cathartic, given that you’re trashing a video game living room at the same time, and I think that message of not bottling up your experiences really helped me, in these trying times.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for the entirety of this episode, so he scores the standard 0. I’m sure he was hot. We just couldn’t see him.  

2. Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the same thing

Entertainment: 4 Education: 4 Exaltation: 3 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 12

Ah yes, one of Pat’s “x is y because of z” videos. He’s made a number of these and they’re all very good but this one is my favorite among them and earns a spot on this list because 1) I think puppets are cool and 2) I fucking love monsters. 

This video scores a 4 on Entertainment, just shy of perfect, because as funny as it is, it also gives me the vibe like I am being lectured by a professor who’s just a little bit off the shits. And we all know that lectures are supposed to be taken seriously. Which brings us to Education, which also scores a 4. I learned a lot in this video! Watching Pat Gill explain to me that children’s puppets and these horrifying viddy game monsters use the same character principles in different ways is not only very educational but is also explained in a streamline and easy to understand manner that I WISH some of the shitty professors at my old university could emulate. As for Exaltation, while this video did give me enough energy to have a meal, I did eventually end up back in bed for the night at 8pm crying myself to sleep, thinking “I’m like the slime scholar. Used to be a scholar. Now they’re slime.” 

BONUS: Pat Gill is +2 hot here. He’s rockin that basic ass monochromatic aesthetic and I love his look dearly. 

1. Preparing for Big Boy Season in Red Dead Redemption 2 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 3 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +3 Total Score: 16

Here we are. My favorite non video series Pat Gill video. The video where Pat Gill tries to make Red Dead Redemption 2 protagonist, Arthur Morgan, large. 

Perfect fucking 5 for Entertainment, which I’m sure many may find odd. Afterall, this video is told in a serious investigative tone reminiscent of Vox’s videos on current issues. But that’s the glory of it. The complete and utter ‘playing it straight and serious’ for a ridiculous issue in a video game. It is high tier comedy in a subtle, understated way that sings to my comedy loving heart in a melody so lovely, so wonderful, that it urged me to give this video 5 points for Entertainment. It scores 3 on Education, because I have never played Red Dead Redemption 2, nor will I ever, but now I know things about it. The information was also relayed to me in a very interesting style, via something like a crime procedural, and thus it was engaging for me to absorb all this new knowledge. Exaltation scores a perfect 5 because of this video’s beautiful end about existential smallness. No joke, but hearing Pat Gill say “Our bigness isn’t measured in pounds, but in the impact we have on the people with whom we shared the world.” deadass made me want to talk to my friends again after conversationally isolating myself for 3 days. Preparing for Big Boy Season has a special place in my heart. And there it will stay.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for most of the video but he does appear for like 15 seconds in the middle of it, and guess what. He’s hot. +3 hotness. Good beardage, good hair, all in all, good Pat Gill. 

So there you have it. My five favorite Pat Gill videos. If you read this whole thing, holy shit. You’re welcome, I guess.

[seulgiology]

it’s just a gameㅣlee donghyuck

pairings: best friend!haechan x best friend!reader

words: 1.6k

genre: very lowkey fluffy shit, basically low quality crack, just best friends being best friends

warnings: cursing, slight mention of sexual content, mentions of sex toys (nothing crazy ;), mentions of fighting

a/n: ALL CREDITS TO THE GIF GOES TO THEM!! yer yerrrr, it’s admin 1 back with haechan crack cause i need this in my life. ummmmm nothing much more to say here lol. irene fluff coming up next from me! so look forward to that ;)

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

“Do you want to fucking die or something?”

“Yeah… But only ‘cause you’re here.”

“That’s your response? Weak.”

You and Haechan happen to be playing a survival game together in his and Johnny’s shared dorm room. Call of Duty? Overwatch? Destiny? To be honest, you really never knew, nor paid attention. You just knew he really, really loved playing these games. So why not try and take a dive into your best friend’s favorite alternate reality. However, you knew long before playing with him that he was kind of an aggressive player.

You sat on his bed with your laptop open while he sat in his gamer chair that he liked to call “Mark”(I like to believe I can always stay atop of my enemies. Mark just, unfortunately, has to be my greatest). 

“Why do you always choose the games you know I obviously suck at? And why does this one have...” You squint at one of the NPCs on your bright screen, “Nazis??? Hyuck, what the fuck do you have me playing.” 

Haechan quickly spins around in his chair just to look at you up and down in disgust before saying, “I don’t like Nazis either Y/N, but like, maybe you should look back at your screen before, I don’t know, one of them kill you. And for your information, the game is called Battlefield V.” He replies in that sarcastic way that he’s known for.

“Says the one who just died. Try again next time sunny.” You just saw his character die on his screen in his session of telling you off. His doe eyes go wide in disbelief and you can’t wipe the victorious smirk off your face as he curses and weeps at the loss of his life. “I can’t believe you just let that happen Y/N. What kind of best friend are you?” The theatrics come on as he pretends to wipe under his eyes and sniffle. If you didn’t know his antics by now you’d have gone over and seriously ask him if he was ok. 

But he’s Haechan. 

Lee Donghyuck. 

God of Entertainment. jungwoo is shaking

You scoff and reach over to the top of his bed, take one of the helpless pillows, and chuck it at his head for his extraness. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud lol at the surprising high-pitched yelp that came from him at your attack. He held the pillow in his lap and silently nodded to himself while closing his eyes, and the exasperated sigh that left his lips had you stifling your giggles. “I didn’t think it’d come to this, but you leave me no choice,” He looked at you with fiend sadness before getting up and taking slow, creepy steps towards you. 

Before he could speed up his steps, you tried to get up from his bed and make it towards the door, yet you failed miserably. “You think you can get away from me this easily Y/N? You’re literally as fast as the slowest turtle.” He said as he was gripping the back of your his t-shirt

"What- all turtles are slow, what are you even trying to say?" You said as you struggled against his strength. He pondered over what you said for a moment, and that moment was all you needed to rush out the room, shouts of triumph coming straight from your heart.

You run through the dorm jumping and stretching through odd places, Haechan hot on your heels. You're surprised you even made it this far without him catching you. "Don't think you're winning Y/N. I'm just having post-video game tiredness," he huffs out, obviously out of breath. You shoot a look back at him and knew you couldn't continue like this forever. 

You needed protection.

You ran into the nearest room, not caring who or what was in there. Turning the knob, you almost slam into, Taeil who turned out to be opening the door at the same time as you.  “Y/N? Hey-” He said a little listlessly while rubbing his eyes. You didn’t reply back and instead squeezed past him and hid behind his back, and used the oldest member as a shield. 

“Wow, you really must think I’m a fool to think that hiding behind the shortest person alive would protect you from my punishment.” He subtly and immediately apologized to his hyung for the insult, but continued on. Taeil gave a nod of acknowledgment but did a double-take for a moment. 

“Wait- ‘punishment’? What type of kinky shit are ya’ll doing? I didn’t know Y/N was giving you the strap,” You snap your head and look at him in horror, as Haechan damn near throws up in his mouth at the words spoken from the ambivert member.

“I support!” You hear a voice from deeper within the small room. (”Nobody asked Yuta!” Haechan exasperatedly shouted.)

“So this is how you guys think of me- a bottom.” Haechan excaims in disbelief. “But did they lie?” You think to yourself

You creep a bit further back into the room, hoping neither Taeil or Haechan have noticed, as they’ve started their own sibling-like argument with each other. You were successful taking small steps back, even hiding under the desk installed in the room. “Wait, where’s Y/N? It’s oddly quiet.” You can see him cock his hip to the side and pretend to think, you silently rolling your eyes at his statement. 

Your eyes snap to Yuta’s, trying to telepathically tell him to keep his mouth shut about your obvious hiding position. 

Yet, he had other plans for you. 

“They’re over there, under the desk, sitting on Taeil’s Switch.” He whisper-yells to Haechan and points to your location.

“Taeyong’s not in here though...?” i said what i said The oldest mutters off to himself.

You’re heart pounds in wait and you mentally face palm. Footsteps speedily walk over to you, and you didn’t get the chance to scramble back when he gripped your ankles and softly tugged you out. A pout took over your face as you looked up at your best friend from the ground, him standing tall and triumphant above you. 

“I hope you know we can fight.” You say as you continue to lay there, fierce as ever. An anxious look took over Taeil’s face as his eyes darted back and forth between you and Haechan. This wouldn’t be the first time you guy’s playfully fought each other. The whole 127 dorm knew how aggressive your mouth could be. He smirked down at you, getting ready to prepare a jab at you before Taeil began speaking.

“Hey- lets just all play a friendly game? Yeah?”

“I’ve been playing games since I’ve been here, just let me beat this gu-”

“I have Animal Crossing: New Horizons.”

“Say no more.”

You forget all about Haechan and run to his room and take out your Nintendo Switch with your game card already inside. You make it back in time to hear the current conversation. “Why are you guys stealing Y/N from me, I was just about to set up Just Dance 2020.” Haechan says while sitting behind a willing Yuta that lets him style with his current silver hair.

“I have a feeling you’re upset that you still have a 3DS instead of a Switch.” You say as you plop down next to Taeil who already had his game loaded. “Actually, I don’t need to hold a mini Taeyong in my hand when my 3DS is all I need,” He scoffs at you and folds his arms under him childishly. 

“Hyuck, it sounds like you’re talking about your favorite dildo.” You say to him, enjoying the snort that Yuta lets out. “Whatever, I just don’t know how you guys enjoy shaking trees and talking to animals with names like ‘Kid Cat.’ But go crazy.” He begins to stand up to leave, but he dramatically looked back at you absorbed in your game, conversing with his members. He let out a loud sigh, trying- and successfully- getting your attention.

You sigh out in defeat when you look at his pleading eyes that beg for you to hang out with him instead. You say your goodbyes to the other members who seem to understand how clingy your best friend can be.

“If we’re playing Just Dance, you have to let me win; and I won’t except no for an answer.” You say as you walk, a grin spread across your cheeks when he softly laughed at your statement. You both reach the living room and he gets straight into turning on the T.V. and turning the HDMI to the Play Station 4 the guys had set up already.

“Which song?” He asks as he scrolls through the song choices. “KILL THIS LOVE!” You’re bouncing on your feet at the thought of dancing to your favorite song. He presses play, but not before you catch the devious smirk on his face.

“What’d you do?” You both are standing next to each other, and he doesn’t say anything as you look to the screen, where your worst nightmare is staring back at you.

Sweat mode.

“You can’t do that! That’s cheating! I said let me win, but don’t let me die in the process.” You can feel yourself sweating already.  “Oh but it’s just a game, you’ll be fine hon. I am letting you win right?” His body is rushing with oncoming adrenaline from your whining, knowing that he’s won your competition.

You almost cry when the instrumental intro in the popular BLACKPINK begin. You put your all into the performance and Haechan barely moves his hands.

And there’s still a shit more songs after this.

[beanswithbones]

DMC5 head cannons bcs its 9pm and I’m tired

- By the end of dmc5 V had broken all but one of his toes and stubbed them more than 50 times.

- even after walking past all those different abandoned stores he still didn’t bother to get different shoes bcs just like Vergil he's stubborn as hell.

- Nero even offered him a spare pair of boots Kyrie packed for him in the van, but nope, the goth boy wanted his Jesus sandals.

- Nico’s hella good at Smash Bros, all those times shes not working on a new arm for Nero she’s playing on her Nintendo Switch.

- seriously, give her any character and she’ll beat your ass. She has too much time and dedication.

- Nico is also just as shit at driving in video games as she is in real life.

- Nero once thought he could beat Nico in Smash. he was sent to Kyrie red-faced and hot. He lost like a pussy bitch and Nico got fifty dollars off him.

- Dante plays Minecraft all the way. He has a world he’s dedicated years to. Right after he had to kill his brother (DMC1) he went into a depression. And it wasn’t until Trish introduced Minecraft to him that he actually started to feel better.

-He got Lady into it too, and now every Friday she, Dante and Trish play on their shared world. 

-Nero joins in sometimes to help with fighting bosses, but he rather play Minecraft w/ Kyria and build cute houses and gardens. 

-While atm Vergils stuck in hell w/ Dante, when he comes back to earth he would exclusively play Wii sports games and Animal crossing.

- don’t ask me why I’ve already tried asking him and he won’t give me an answer.

-Dante and Nero have tried to get him to play other games but he straight up refuses. 

[dessiekarma]

My Harem is Entirely Bad Boy Types (Kirisaki Daiichi x Reader) Pt. 12

Chapter 12: This Will NOT End Like Every Other Harem Anime; We Want an Answer!

 (Y/N) smiled at the younger male who continuously made quite the show of staring at her. It would come as no surprise where he got the habit from, as the man sitting on the opposite couch didn’t do a much subtler job at gawking.

 “You’re not as hot as big bro made you seem.” The kid drolled out bluntly before flopping onto the couch and pulling out a Nintendo switch.

 “You rude little shit!” Hara exclaimed making his way into the room with a bottle of water. Just as quickly as the water was shoved into (Y/N)’s hand was the Switch pulled from the kid and held several feet over his head.

 “Triggered much!? Gimme my stuff! Oww!” The kid stopped taunting as an older woman delivered a smack onto his head.

 “Cut it out! Be nice to our lovely guest and don’t ruin this for your brother.” The woman hissed at her youngest son before smiling brightly at (Y/N). “Sorry my baby lacks some social graces much like I’m sure you’ve noticed with Kazuya.”

 “Mooooother please.” The lavender haired male groaned before dropping the switch onto his little brother’s face and sitting next to (Y/N).

 “I’m just teasing, sweetheart, she knows that. Do you need anything? Water, snacks, dinner?” The woman said being just a bit too generous and eager-sounding.

 “No, that’s okay Kazu-chan just brought me a bottle.”

 “Kazu-chan?” The woman smiled even wider, if that was possible and delivered little excited smacks onto her husband’s arm.

 “Darling, I think you might be scaring the poor girl.”

 “Says you, old man. You’ve been staring at her since she walked in the door.” Hara rolled his eyes, pulling the water bottle away from (Y/N)’s lips and taking a drink.

 “Ahh my son is right! I apologize, my wife may be a little excited to meet a girlfriend of Kazuya’s. We are just not used to him bringing girls home.”

 “Yea at least not ones that still have their clothes on.” His brother muttered quietly, sticking his tongue out at his brother death-glaring him.

 “Dad, ma, I already told you she’s not my girlfriend just my team manager.”

 “Sure bro, that why you never shut up about her?”

 “Ight imma beat his ass.” Hara stood up quickly and the preteen curled in on himself. Attempting to diffuse the situation (Y/N) took quick notice of the t-shirt the kid was wearing.

 “Hey cool shirt! Ochako is best girl, am I right?!”

 The kid instantly unraveled himself and sat straight up.

 “You like bnha?”

 “Hell yeah, it’s so cool! Lemillion is everything.”

 “Oh my god, did you see the new episode!?”

 “Surprisingly, I haven’t started the latest season yet.”

 “WHAT!? Well you have to watch it like right now!”

 “Are you offering?”

 “You’ll watch anime with me?” The kid now had a clear sparkle in his eyes as he jumped off the couch and pulled the girl up by the arm.

 Hara rolled his eyes as his weeb brother ran off with his equally weeb friend. Turning to his parents he could see the questioning in their eyes. Clearly wanting to know why he was bringing home a pretty beaten up girl at nine pm to meet them.

 “Look, you know how I mentioned having a female friend who was getting picked on? Well it’s gotten worse…much worse. She doesn’t feel okay going home right now and I didn’t want her to be alone. I offered for her to stay here.”

 Both his mom and dad looked at him blankly. The silence in the room was heavy.

 “I mean, please? Or is it okay if I stayed at a hotel with her?”

 The older woman suddenly shook her head, looking shocked. She turned to her equally flabbergasted husband.

 “Wait, honey, are you ASKING us?”

 “Well yeah. So, can she stay here for a bit?”

 “Of course she can.” His father responded still sounding a bit astonished.

 “Thanks. I’m gonna take a shower.”

 The two parents watched as their son made his way out of the room.

 “I can’t believe Kazuya actually asked our permission for something.”

 “Do you think it’s because of the girl? I think I like her already!”

 “What if he screws it up?”

 “Well…we still have two other single sons!”

~~~~~

 “Hey my mom sent me in here to clear out a pest problem.” Hara said nonchalantly bursting into the guest bedroom.

 (Y/N) jumped like a cat, startled by her friend’s abrupt entry.

 “I could have been changing or something!”

 “And? Come on, my eyesight is shit anyway.”

 “Not the point! Besides what pest problem?”

 Hara leaned against the wall and pulled open the nightstand to reveal a baby monitor. Talking into it he grew a shit eating grin.

 “What exactly were you hoping to hear through this you little perv!?”

 “Why don’t you mind your business you jerk!” A voice crackled through the monitor.

 (Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle just a bit as Hara flung the device out the window.

 “You watched anime with that loser. That’s like third base in that kid’s eyes and you’re basically his girlfriend now.”

 “I’m flattered but I don’t think I can travel to America from prison.”

 The young girl tried to ignore the loud sigh that came from her friend. She knew that Hara was probably the one who disagreed the loudest with her decision to leave Japan. Flopping back onto the king size bed, (Y/N) wasn’t fazed when she felt Hara flop down beside her.

 A comfortable silence washed over the two. It went on for so long that (Y/N) was almost sure that she was seconds away from falling asleep. That’s why when Hara finally spoke, she easily chucked it up as her dreaming or hearing things.

 “(Y/N)?”

 “Hmm?”

 “If I told you I loved you…would you stay?”

 “If you told me you loved me would you even mean it?”

 “When have I ever shown myself to be someone who doesn’t say what they mean?”

 (Y/N) finally opened her eyes and turned her head. Instantly she was swept into the whirl-wind of Hara’s fantasy eyes. There was no playfulness in his face nor hidden joke. She waited for a punchline that never came.

 “Love is a strong word. Not even any of the other guys used that word.”

 “Because none of the other guys have enough experience to identify. And even those who do are too stubborn to admit it.”

 “And you’re not stubborn?”

 “I am. But right now all my stubbornness is focused on convincing you not to leave. Please? I’d take care of you. I wouldn’t let Mei, or your mother or grandfather so much as look at you if you didn’t want them to.”

 “But you know my plans.”

 “And you can accomplish them here. I would help and I’m sure my parents would literally bend over backwards to give you anything they could. Don’t you worry about leaving us? Worry that you’d miss us? Miss me?”

 “Of course. But it wouldn’t be forever…I just don’t know for how long it would be. But wow ‘love’ really?”

 “Yeah seriously. I’ve had more flings than I can count and a good number of girlfriends to boot. I know what infatuation feels like. I know what sexual desire feels like. Attraction, crushes, curiosity. I’ve felt all that before, but I never felt this one. I’d say the only thing left is love. Of course not that it means anything with you leaving.”

 “It doesn’t mean nothing.”

 “Don’t give me that shit. Do I seem like the type of guy to promise to wait for you however long it takes?”

 “Do I seem like the type of girl who would expect you to?”

 The silence came again this time feeling only a bit awkward.

 “I mean of course I’d fuck other girls while you were away. But uhh in terms of love…. A shitty guy like me? I wouldn’t have such great karma, to meet another girl. So I suppose no matter when you’d come back…”

 His voice trailed off and (Y/N) smiled at the thought of what he was trying to say. Feeling more comfortable than she had in days, the girl let her eyes close heavily and drifted to sleep.

~~~~~

 “She doesn’t wanna fucking see you and you have about one second to get the hell out of this gym before I turn you inside out.”

 Hara and (Y/N) looked at each other, hearing Yamazaki’s voice boom from outside the gym. She knew deep down what to expect and had come to terms that she would have to face everything head on before leaving.

 Filling her lungs with air, (Y/N) pushed open the door and was met with not just Ryo, but the entire Touou basketball team.

 Her ex looked like shit and maybe she was wrong for saying that she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad for him right now. Before she could even open her mouth to get a word out, Momoi was speaking up.

 “Please (Y/N), you really need to give Ryo a chance and listen to what he has to say!”

 “Huh you know I am really just tired of people telling me what I ‘have’ to do. But let’s say I’m willing to talk to ANY of you, what is there to say? Or actually should I get Mei in here, so you don’t have to rehash anything to her?” (Y/N) sarcastically retorted.

 “That’s not how it even happened! If you would let him explain you would understand that he wasn’t trying to tell that girl, he was talking to us and she overheard.” Wakamatsu called out loudly and almost accusingly, causing (Y/N) to scoff.

 “And if you would remove your head from that far up your ass you would understand how that only makes it worse. I’d give less of a shit how someone talks about me to my enemies then how they talk about me to my friends.” The young woman finally turned to eye up her ex. “What did I ever do to you for you to go and tell them the most personal thing that was between us?”

 “I was angry and…you moved on so fas-”

 “Fast? You think that was fast? You think months of me feeling like shit, of wondering where I went wrong, of thinking maybe I made the mistake…isn’t enough? How long was I supposed to hate my life for you to feel better about yourself?”

 “You know that’s not what I meant. You chose strangers over me, how was I supposed to feel about that?”

 “NO! I was never going to choose. YOU made me choose. I wanted to be a part of a team again but I wanted you too. You didn’t let me have both. Don’t resent me when you turned yourself into an option.”

 “I was worried about you! All of us were, don’t you get that? You had a tough enough time at Too and knowing your personal situation, we didn’t know how things were going to go for you at some rich kid school. The you go and befriend literally the only people we warned you about…It’s like you do it on purpose!

 “Do what on purpose?”

 “Cause problems for yourself! Then I hear you were attacked last night when even Aomine has told you to stay away from Haizaki and instead of just being quiet you have to always instigate. It’s like every bad thing that happens to you is becau-”

 “You need to stop talking.” A gruff voice came from behind the smaller male.

 (Y/N) was shaking with anger and tears at this point but forced her glare away from Ryo to look at Aomine.

 “You came because you wanted to apologize but all that’s come out of your mouth is bullshit.”

 “Sakurai, regardless of what you think I didn’t choose a lot of this. I didn’t ask to be born into a manipulative and abusive family, I didn’t ask to be born at all. I didn’t ask for Haizaki to attack me or any of the guys that have in the past. And I definitely didn’t ask for you to come here an insult me and my team. When you’re ready to actually apologize I’ll be willing to listen. Until then get out of my face.”

 Sakurai looked like he wanted to burst into tears, but he blinked his eyes harshly. Nodding gently he took a deep breath.

 “I still love you, you know. And I don’t know why I can say it all the time but had a hard time right now…I really am sorry more than you probably believe. I was so busy on trying to get the chance to talk to you at all that I didn’t think about what I was going to say. I’ll get it right next time, I promise.”

 “Now that you got your chance to give your sob story, you can go.” Hanamiya waved off the entire team before turning around and walking into the locker room.

 With nothing left to say each team turned and walked off, one side out of the gym and the other following their captain. Only two remained under the net.

 “Thanks for calling Sakurai out on his shit.” (Y/N) smiled softly at Aomine who didn’t have a readable expression.

 “It was annoying me plus I didn’t even want to be here.”

 “How did they manage to convince you?”

 “Told me it was a scrimmage. I’d be willing to play anyone who managed to piss off Tetsuya.”

 “Sorry to disappoint.”

 “I have a question though.”

 “Shoot.”

 “You’ve fucked all of them right?”

 “Aomine! How could you ask me that!?  I thought you were on my side!”

 “Calm down. I didn’t know there was a side to pick here. But you were the one who always hassled me with anime facts I didn’t want. And if anything stuck in my head it was big tiddy 2d girls and ”

 “Harem.” Both said at the same time.

 “We both said we weren’t pulling any weak bullshit if we ever found ourselves in the center of a harem. We were gonna use harem privileges to get laid. So, come on tell me some numbers. No details! I just want a body count. All five?”

 (Y/N) face grew red as she remembered all the times, she sat on the sidelines watching her boyfriend play basketball and rambled off to his less than participating teammate. To be fair she always assumed Aomine was asleep unless they started talking ecchi.

 “NO!”

 “No you won’t tell me or not all of them? At least 3?”

 “Look if it was any more than one, these guys would have ‘School Days’-ed my ass by now.”

 “I have no idea what the anime reference is but I can get the subtext that you did cash in your protagonist card once.” Aomine had a smirk on his face as he continued to tease his old teammate.

 The girl felt her face burn red but nodded her head in agreement.

 “Do they know you still love Ryo?” (Y/N)’s head shot up which made Aomine let out a cross between a scoff and a chuckle. “Even if you do love one of these assholes, even if its not the one you totally banged…you love Ryo too. Word of advice: don’t give up anyone you can’t imagine NOT being in your life 3 years down the road. Cutting ties with someone sometimes doesn’t have regret that hits you until you see them tied to someone else.”

 “Sounds like that’s coming from experience.”

 “Does it? Well even more of a reason to hear me out. I would say I’d see you around but something tells me I won’t…that right?”

 (Y/N) nodded at her surprisingly perceptive friend.

 “Good luck then.”

 “So, is it really true then?” A soft voice rang from behind the girl as the tan male closed the door to the gym. (Y/N) didn’t have to turn to know it was Yamazaki.

 “That I still love Ryo? Well-”

 “No, not that. We all know you do, I don’t think you’ve ever gone a week without talking about him. That’s the reason none of us have actually kicked his ass, y’know? I meant is it true that you love someone from this team?”

 (Y/N) turned around and for the first time in a while she made complete eye contact with the ginger haired male.

 “Yeah…at least I thought I did.”

 “You thought?”

 “Seems pretty horrible to love anyone if I’m not completely over my ex, doesn't it?”

 …

 “That wasn’t a jab at you, Zaki.”

 “No, that okay. There’s nothing you could say to me that I don’t deserve at this point. Not that I’m trying to throw myself a pity party or make you feel guilty for me feeling guilty or…ugh why is it so hard to talk to you!?”

 “You think I’m hard to talk to?”

 “I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything! I just mea-”

 (Y/N) took a step closer to her friend and attempted to shift a piece of hair behind her ears only for Yamazaki to take a microstep back. Her eyes scrutinized him more before tucking the hair away.

 “Mei hasn’t been kind to you ever, has she?”

 “Why did you bring her up?”

 “You flinched away from me right now.”

 “No I didn’t!” His voice practically boomed before he seemed to realize the volume.

 “I know we’ve always just talked about her as your bitch ex and joked about how crazy she was. We only took her seriously when she came after me…but she’s been awful to you for a long time, right? Emotionally, verbally…physically?”

 Yamazaki’s eyes went almost as dead as Furuhashi’s. He didn’t like what she was implying, that he was some kind of victim. He especially didn’t like hearing that shit from her. She was the one who was abused, in every way a person can be.

  So what if his girlfriend said things that hurt his feelings sometimes?

 Was someone supposed to feel sorry for him because she screamed at him for little things in public, in front of his friends?

  What right did he have to get sympathy for his 5 foot nothing girlfriend slapping him now and again?

 His thoughts were cut off when he simultaneously felt a tear run from one of his eyes and felt (Y/N) wrap her arms around his waist to embrace him.

 “I’m so sorry that we, your friends, didn’t notice. And even when we did…all we did was joke about your crazy ex instead of helping you. We heard her yell and threaten you…abuse you. We would hear all her manipulation and the guys heard more than I ever did. I’m sorry we didn’t stop her from hurting you too.”

 “Don’t apologize to me! I don’t deserve it! Abuse or not, it doesn’t excuse any of the choices I made!”

 “No, it doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you retroactively deserve any of what she put you through. You apologized to me and I can’t forget what happened, but I forgive you.”

 “I never meant to hurt you! I was just jealous because I barely had a chance to start with and then to think that you had all this experience and I only had Mei. I didn’t know how anyone besides her could ever see anything in me and it seemed like everything was working against me. And I know I don’t act like it but…I love you (Y/N)!”

 A loud throat clearing drew the attention of both teens. The rest of the team had emerged from the lockeroom, all clearly having heard the confession. (Y/N) turned and smiled at the guys widely.

 “Ready to play?”

 “No.” Seto said firmly. “We can’t put it off anymore. I think it goes without saying that everyone in this room is aware of their feelings for you. I don’t think any of us will fight each other over you.”

 “Shit I’ll take any of you right here right now.” Hara scoffed.

 “BUT…I do think we deserve an answer.”

 (Y/N) looked between all the faces of her team before taking in a deep breath.

~~~~~

 A knock at the door had the girl jumping from her skin. Shoving her suitcase under her bed, (Y/N) quickly walked to the entrance of her guest house and opened the door slowly.

 She was expecting her mother or grandfather. Hell, she was even expecting one of the guys.

 Ryo, instead, stood in her doorway trembling slightly. As quickly as she opened the door, the boy gave a deep bow.

 “I’m so sorry! For everything…I have a lot I want to say. That is…if you’ll give me the chance to say it.”

 (Y/N) looked between her ex and her room where the packing still needed to be done. Opening the door widely, she waved him inside.

(Author’s Note: Talking about Yamazaki being abused is NOT supposed to be a plot element I pulled out my ass to get him back in everyone’s good graces. I have always written Mei with the intent that she be read as an abusive girlfriend because she IS.

Take care of your male friends too, never assume they are okay just because they are bigger or louder or stronger. His backstory is NOT his redemption, his actions for this chapter and the last are him working his way there. His backstory just gives us some insight on his character and why he does some of the things he does.)

[gaknar]

Review: The Claremont Crossovers

Geez, I haven’t written a review for this blog since my Secret Wars review from like 17 years ago. How can that be? Well, I guess I used to work on this blog a lot more often and now I’ve gotten way more into Super Nintendo games and BDSM. Like a lot of people. But now that I finally finished reading Inferno, it is time once again to bookend my experience with an overly wordy wall of text filled with the worst kind of oblivious meninist butt humor jokes and pretentious sounding run-on sentences that are trying to sound smart but are always improperly ended with prepositions of. And lots of ridiculous comic book panels.

These are only the silliest panels from this reading that I could find after looking for about 25 seconds.

Bookeeping. This review covers everything that I have read since X-Factor #1. This includes Uncanny X-Men #204-243, X-Factor #1-39, New Mutants #38-73, along with a smattering of annuals, Daredevil, Power Pack, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Excalibur, and X-Terminators comics that were all part of the Mutant Massacre, Fall of the Mutants, and Inferno crossovers. There were a lot of developments over the course of the 4 years these comics were published. Jean Grey was resurrected and the original members of the X-Men reformed under the moniker X-Factor.

Mr. Sinister formed his band of evil mutants, the Marauders, who would become the X-Men’s main antagonists, and their most devious act would include committing mutant genocide against the Morlocks in the New York City sewers while dealing critical wounds to main X-Men team members Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler, and Colossus during the fight.

Later, the X-Men were seemingly killed in a struggle with the mystical being known as the Adversary, but in reality they went into hiding in their new Australian outback base.

Illyana Rasputin lost control of the hell dimension Limbo which led to a demon invasion of Manhattan.

And finally, perhaps most prominently, Cyclops left his wife Madelyne Pryor and their son to get back together with Jean Grey, an act that led Madelyne to become corrupted with Pheoenix Force power and to turn into the Goblin Queen.

This era of X-Men comics contains the first major crossovers between the main X-Men comic book and its spinoffs. These events would become common as Marvel found ways to use its more strongly published works to carry the weaker ones, and the ploy still works apparently since here I am 30 years later reading 500 page omnibus collections just because there are 4 or 5 absolutely killer X-Men comic books in them. I love the X-Men so much that I’m willing to wade through the unending buildup to get the most out of the climaxes.

Seriously this artwork.

However, I find that this style of editing leads to a peculiar trend in pacing that can be tough to recover from in-between the major storylines. As Mutant Massacre leads into Fall of the Mutants, which then leads into Inferno, the characters are faced with consistently increasing stakes. With each passing story line, casualties grow and become more grave, and the consequences are more lasting. Mutant Massacre starts with the genocide of a mutant community, and several main characters are critically wounded as the X-Men face the worst defeat they’ve ever experienced. Then a year later in Fall of the Mutants, just as the team is starting to recover, the entire team of X-Men is killed during their battle against the Adversary. They would immediately be resurrected as a reward for sacrificing themselves to save the world, but it is still a defeat that claims the lives of every member of the team, if only for a moment. By the time we get to Inferno, the world is literally ending. Demons are raining from the sky and regular people are straight up getting slaughtered in the streets and elevators as the X-Men are more or less helpless to stop the destruction.

Inferno is an amazing storyline, if only for all the scenes of inanimate objects coming to life and straight up eviscerating common folk who are just minding their own business. Look at this shit!!! How did the comics code of conduct ever approve this. A mob of people just packed themselves into a demon FOOD PROCESSOR and every inch of them was liquefied except their bones. Chilling. (And let’s just forget about how the writers retconned all this blood orgy stuff in the Inferno Epilogue).

This all works in a capitalistic sense. Constantly raise the stakes and don’t let up for a second because if you do, the reader will take their eyes off the page and you will lose money. But the problem is, you can’t do this forever. And if you try, eventually you are going to write yourself into a corner where you’ve raised the stakes so many times, and you’ve re-manufactured the drama so often, people will stop caring. I call this the Dragon Ball effect.

How many times have these characters become gods at this point? Like three movies ago, the most recent movie was literally called “Battle of Gods.” I’m not even watching Super. Once your characters get so far away from humanistic stories people can relate to, you are no longer creating art. You’re manufacturing sensationalism. And it gets boring. These guys are starting to look like different flavors of freezie pops.

Maybe this is why the X-Men comics that come after this, the comics that make up the last leg of writer Chris Claremont’s 17 year run on the series, become so weird. Because perhaps there was no way to continue to raise the stakes any higher. After this point, we don’t get any more big crossovers until X-Tinction Agenda, but even that story is small and quaint when compared to what is presented here. Wolverine completely disappears from the series, all our other favorite characters disappear into the Seige Perilous to be transformed into completely different versions of themselves, and we get a lot of surreal stories that don’t have any sort of climax in the way that we’ve been conditioned to expect. The series becomes murky and ambiguous, without a solid narrative arc, and I think that’s why people regard the end of Chris Claremont’s writing on the series to be the weakest part of his run.

I can’t wait to read the X-Men comics that are coming up next. Because I didn’t know what in the FUCK was going on in these comics when I was a kid and I’m hoping they make more sense now.

Anyway, I’ll be the judge of all that, once I get there. (I may even indulge in the Infinity Gauntlet omnibus because, you know, there’s a couple X-Men involved in that). But regardless of what comes after this, I think it’s also true that the crossovers presented in this reading are generally regarded with less respect than Chris Claremont’s earlier work on the series, such as the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. This I don’t agree with. While the stories in this reading do range in quality, with Fall of the Mutants definitely being the weakest of the three big crossovers, and even though the Uncanny X-Men portion of Inferno isn’t even the central story of that crossover (the critical story elements take place in the far inferior issues of New Mutants and <ugh> X-Terminators written by Louise Simonson), Claremont’s writing is still much stronger, more layered, and more elegant than anything else that is presented in these collections. These crossovers may not be as timeless or original as the most famous X-Men stories, but the writing here is still really darn good and engaging (at least in Uncanny X-Men), and in my opinion, does not represent a decline in aptitude on the part of the writer. It’s clear that Claremont’s writing has continued to mature and become more nuanced, so much so that when you compare it to the first issues he wrote for the series, it seems like he’s a completely different writer.

KALIDASCOPICALLY. Again, these were just the silliest panels I could find after looking for about 25 seconds.

Personally, I love this period of X-Men comics. Under Claremont’s executive control, no plot thread gets dropped. No minor detail goes disregarded. Characters continue to grow and develop at such a natural pace, sometimes it feels like my own life is developing right alongside theirs. This adds depth to these readings and I can’t describe how it feels to be a part of them, and I think it’s this element that is missing from so many other comic books written by so many other comic book writers, including nearly every X-Men story written after Chris Claremont left the series.

Case in point, there are so many minor recurring characters that appear in these stories, like Franklin Richards. (I seriously tear up every time I see these panels). This little guy bounces around the Power Pack, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four like a ping pong ball. He’s a key character in the story line where Kitty Pryde finally recovers from the wounds she suffered during Mutant Massacre. And even though Kitty and Franklin have only met each other a few times, those meetings have meaning and they are remembered and called upon in the telling of the current story. All of the efforts made by the writers and editors to keep the narrative linked make these characters seem like real life people with weight and substance, rather than a thin layer of ink on a piece of paper. And it totally works.

Ugh, this review turned into another circle jerk about the writers of these comics, and especially about Chris Claremont. But what can I say. It’s because of the writers that we are here. Love or hate these comics, and I know Claremont’s wordy scripts are not everyone’s cup of tea, but these are the stories that make the X-Men what they are. It’s tough to be aware of these things when you’re in the middle of reading them, but I’m having the absolute best time writing this blog right now, and it is primarily because these are the comics that resonate with me the most. And when I’m finished with Claremont’s material and I’m slogging through some crap written by Chuck Austen, I bet I’m going to look back on these days with envy.

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Dreaming While I Wake

Sanders Sides Foster Care AU - Roman-centric Angst & Hurt/Comfort & Abuse Recovery

Roman tries to be upbeat and hopeful despite all the shit that’s happened to him. And a lot of shit has. Luckily, his new foster home is with two literal rays of sunshine (and a sarcastic asshole).

Words: 3,445 Warnings: Anger issues, Talk of JDC, Over-Apologizing, Food, Talk of Cryptids, Death Mention, Blood Mention Characters: Roman, Patton, Virgil, Thomas Universe: Dreaming While I Wake Genre: Family Fluff, actually

Chapter 22

chapter 1 for new readers - ffn mirror

   Roman mostly fumed for the drive home, and Patton let him do so without a fuss. He also let him take a nap. Roman was certain he ended up falling asleep at some point. He was awake when they got home, but the music changed to classical and he didn’t remember that happening. It also happened much faster than it should have in theory, not that Roman had any understanding of time. He was thankful for the space to process. He was mad about having to leave Remus again, but the ride home helped him get through that so he wasn’t as bitter anymore. Stupid anger issues. Stupid being resentful about being angry. Emotions were dumb.

   He accepted Patton's assistance to the couch, and with as much as his feet hurt, he didn’t bother complaining. Patton looked a little shell-shocked himself as he sat down near the corner of the couch, honestly. Roman wasn’t entirely sure what about, but the whole experience was both shitty and amazing, so he couldn’t blame him. Roman was somewhere between happy, sad, angry, and just straight vibing.

   Patton examined Roman for a moment as he settled down on the couch. “So, kiddo… I can’t say I followed all of that. Because somehow you two broke some kind of weird time barrier along with using fake words, jumping subjects like hopscotch and cursing as if you were sailors. But I think there are lots to unpack there,” Patton intoned, being careful with his enunciation.

   “Let’s throw out the whole garbage bag,” Roman shrugged, kicking out of his shoes to put his aching feet up on the couch. He didn’t feel like discussing it. He only just calmed down and wasn’t sure he could work down from being pissed off again.

   “I’d ground you for that language, but you are sort of already stuck at home and that feels uncharitable to take away video games or something,” Patton said off-handedly, looking a bit defeated as he leaned forward on his thighs.

   “See, too nice for your own good,” Roman chuckled, motioning with his arms towards Patton. Patton just blinked at him for an awkward moment.

   “I have literally never seen you so alive and animated. Ever. Even when you were sprinting with Lita,” Patton said, looking somewhat baffled. He scrunched up his lip to the side and kept staring unnervingly at Roman. “Also, I had no idea anybody could talk that fast,” Patton added, sounding a little impressed.

   “Remus and were always ‘if you stop moving you die’-type individuals,” Roman replied, fiddling with his jacket sleeves. He didn’t understand why he was being watched so closely. Did he do something? Was he supposed to do something? Roman chewed on the inside of his lip apprehensively.

   “I’ve just never seen you be that… high-energy. I mean, I knew you were energetic, but that was a whole other level. It was kind of overwhelming,” Patton stated, leaning back into the couch with a sigh.

   “Sorry,” Roman muttered, looking down at his lap.

   “No, no! I think I get why you were having so much trouble with following your homework yesterday if it’s always like that in your head. And why you act restless so often,” Patton held up his hands and shook his head. “You don’t have to say sorry,” He added gently.

   “I don’t follow what you’re saying, either,” Roman looked at Patton in confusion. “Am I in trouble for cussing?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows in concern and still chewing his inner lip nervously.

   “Yes, but I don’t think it’d be right to punish you over it. Just try not to do it next time,” Patton said considerately with a small shrug.

   “I was 100% not thinking before speaking at JDC. I barely have that capacity in the first place,” Roman rolled his eyes and leaned back against the couch arm. He didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep.

   “Well, that explains how you can talk so fast,” Patton chuckled and shook his head. “Seriously, you boys cussed more this afternoon then I’ve heard all year,” Patton said weakly, sounding kind of disappointed in Roman. The tone almost hurt, and Roman winced a little and played with his jacket zipper.

   “Sorry, I don’t have much of a filter,” Roman apologized dourly, tugging his zipper up and down.

   “It’s something we can work on, I guess. That kind of language doesn’t fly in the real world,” Patton said firmly, holding up his finger.

   “We were at Juvie. If there’s anywhere to cuss like prison inmates, it’s with the prison inmates,” Roman said and signed ‘inside prison,’ while he rolled his eyes.

   “That doesn’t mean you should do it,” Patton frowned at Roman. “Oh, hi Virgil,” Patton smiled towards the staircase. Roman signed hello as well.

   ‘Chips,’ Virgil signed, passing by. Roman blinked twice at Virgil actually explaining what he was up to, which didn’t happen that much. It was strange to see Virgil do non-cryptid of insults-like things. Unless maybe he was just powered by salt. What does a sodium-powered insult cryptid look like? Probably some kind of gangly demon. Virgil needs red eyes or something. He has bright hazel, but he deserves to be more of a cryptid in real life.

   “That whole event has me very confused. But first thing’s first, why didn’t you mention you had an identical twin?” Patton asked and shook Roman from imagining the various ways Virgil could look if he was skulking through the woods as a supernatural entity. Roman blinked and sat up straighter, his eyes shooting to Patton.

   “I didn’t realize the state hadn’t told you! You said you knew I had a brother. I didn’t realize you didn’t know we were born 17 minutes apart,” Roman threw up his arms. “I figured you’d find out soon and really wanted to see the face you made,” Roman explained sheepishly. Patton sounded upset at him about it, and it put Roman on edge a bit.

   “That’s kind of dishonest, Roman,” Patton chided, frowning at Roman. Roman scratched at his finger for a moment, feeling bad.

   “Letting the situation speak for itself isn’t dishonest. It’s shady at worst,” Roman shrugged slightly, trying to excuse himself. He didn’t understand why it would be a big deal. Virgil walked back into the living room munching on a bag of chips, looking interested. He placed the bag on the top of the couch.

   ‘Damn. Photo?’ Virgil signed while he stood behind the couch.

   ‘No phones allowed,’ Roman signed back the reason he couldn’t get one. He wanted a photo, too.

   ‘Shit,’ Virgil signed and snapped, looking disappointed. He came around to sit on the opposite couch arm while eating salt and vinegar chips by the handful.

   “There’re lots of things that I think I heard that just make me more thankful you’re already going to be talking to someone. I have to admit I feel awful that Remus has no support system in there knowing what I do now,” Patton said a little shakily. Roman stared at him incredulously for a moment. He was not entirely sure what Patton was going on about still until his brain caught up.

   “Oh! Well, he’s probably got friends if he’s teaching them our made-up twin language,” Roman replied with a slight shrug. “I don’t think anybody who doesn’t like him would put up with it. It’s a hard one,” Roman signed ‘impossible’. It was nearly a bitch to learn because of all the contextual words, so anyone putting up with that probably liked him. Patton hummed, not sounding that satisfied.

   “Do you know why he wants boxers?” Patton asked carefully after another pause of Roman fiddling with his zipper and the crunch of chips from Virgil.

   “Yeah, I heard about that,” Roman drawled in distaste. “They have communal underwear. The state doesn’t buy them any separate clothes,” Roman explained. Patton shivered in disgust. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but he had a visceral reaction to the idea no matter how he looked at it. He has known some revolting dudes in his life and would rather go commando than share cleaned underwear with them.

   ‘Fucking gross,’ Virgil signed and shook his head. Virgil must have agreed with the sentiment because he also stuck out his tongue and grimaced.

   “And, um,” Patton shot a glance to Virgil. “I think he said you were bi?” Patton asked quietly.

   “I mean, we can’t all get assigned gay by J. K. Rowling. Some of us have to settle on our twins maybe being the less repressed ones. I said I’d consider it, don’t go throwing me a pride parade,” Roman said dismissively. He didn’t wish to speculate about it, he didn’t want to deal with it, he wouldn’t prefer to hear a single slur from his dad’s mouth in his head again, so he’d just rather… not. Maybe later. Maybe. Is hermit a choice? Hermit sounds nice.

   ‘I got assigned gay by Nintendo , loser,’ Virgil fingerspelled with a teasing expression.

   ‘Lucky,’ Roman signed back, shooting Virgil a sarcastic grin after he scrunched up his lips. Well, there’s his confirmation. Virgil just ate his chips smugly.

   “I’m still very confused,” Patton creased his eyebrows and looked at Roman.

   “I’m saying I don’t know,” Roman motioned widely with his open palms as if motioning to all the shit he didn’t comprehend.

   “Okay, that I understand. I support you no matter what,” Patton said with a small reassuring smile. He appreciated the acceptance and all but considering Patton married a man, it was kind of a given.

   ‘Barf,’ Virgil signed with a grimace and his tongue out again. Roman couldn’t help but chortle at Virgil’s ridiculousness.

   “What if I come out as an asshole? Would you support me then?” Roman asked an absurd hypothetical just to make Virgil laugh.

   “What? No!” Patton objected and put his face in his hands, shaking his head slowly. Roman chuckled at Patton’s over-the-top reaction.

   ‘Owned,’ Virgil signed and snickered silently before shoving another handful of chips in his mouth.

   “I think I need to go process this with Thomas. Would you mind slipping your gloves back on?” Patton asked, sounding weary. Roman sighed dramatically and pulled them out of his pocket, making a big show about putting them on. “Thanks, kiddo,” Patton got up from the couch and went to Thomas’s office and closed the door.

   ‘How was the slammer?’ Virgil signed curiously.

   ‘Bullshit. There go our diabolical plans,’ Roman fingerspelled with a small eye roll.

   ‘Curses. Plan B, then. Attract vampires. Gay ones,’ Virgil signed back with a smirk and bounced his eyebrow once.

   ‘Perfect. Plan C is metal limbs. Now is Minecraft time,’ Roman signed, getting up to grab the laptop.

   ‘I’ll join you. BRB,’ Virgil signed and got up from the couch and headed upstairs. Roman sat back down and laid across the couch with the family laptop, elevating one foot against the arm of the couch. Virgil came back down with his laptop and sat on the top of the couch with his laptop in his lap. Like, join him in the living room or playing Minecraft? Did Virgil play Minecraft? Did he want to spend time with Roman of his own free will?

   ‘Make a world to join,’ Virgil signed. Roman shrugged and created a new world with a random seed and opened it to LAN. So Virgil played Minecraft. He didn’t strike Virgil as the sandbox type. And he wanted to play with Roman. That was unexpected. It wasn’t like he hadn’t played with foster siblings before, but he just hadn’t expected Virgil to want to do anything with him that didn’t involve watching TV and insults.

   Virgil’s demon avatar popped up a few moments later and immediately started punching trees. Roman joined him in the massacre of the local flora right away. He had set up a small house for them to wait out the night by the time the sun finished setting. However, Virgil was perhaps too feral and ran into the night with a wooden sword. Roman built the house close to the spawn point, so there wasn’t much harm in crafting up some wooden swords and joining him. Virgil played much differently from Roman. He just ran off and murdered until he ran out of supplies and then came back to the base Roman was building up with materials. He messaged for help sometimes, but just seemed content running headway into hoards of spiders in caves. He was clearly terrified of creepers, but who wasn’t? Everything else he wanted to murder without exception. Keeping up with Virgil’s need for torches was an event in itself.

   It was nice playing with someone that wasn’t a little kid, though. Roman got to focus more on the building when he preferred to and had someone to back him up in the caves when he would rather explore. They also insulted each other incessantly. Roman had been called a ‘ball-brained hamster’, a ‘sock full of hot go-gurt ’, and ‘hysterical trilling inanity’ in the last few minutes alone. He called Virgil a dark void where dreams go to die when Roman suggested a new addition to the base Virgil didn’t like. Virgil created a sign for the chest Roman kept filling with mining and murdering materials with that very name he liked it so much.

   “Boys, it’s past noon. I made lunch for everyone since you were playing games together. Get to a stopping point and come eat,” Patton called from the kitchen while Roman was harvesting a vein of gold. His inventory was nearly full, so he may as well turn around and head back to base. Roman retraced the trail of torches back, where he joined Virgil in setting stuff to smelt while they were eating. Virgil got up and Roman followed him into the kitchen.

   “The food smells good, Patton. Thanks for cooking for us when you didn’t have to,” Roman said, sitting down at the table and joyfully serving himself some broccoli-chicken mac-and-cheese at the plates already set. It smelled marvelous, and Patton hadn’t seasoned it oddly like that food last night.

   “I didn’t want to bother you. Plus, it’s an excuse for a bonus eat-together time!” Patton smiled, though he still looked exhausted. Virgil grabbed the salt and vinegar chips he was eating earlier and crumpled them up on the top of his serving of mac-and-cheese. He held the bag over for Roman and raised an eyebrow. Roman shrugged and took a small handful of chips to do the same. The crunch and bite were pretty good on the creamy mac-and-cheese when he tentatively tried it.

   “Oh, that’s awesome,” Roman nodded and Virgil smirked, putting the bag down on the dinner table between the two of them. It wasn’t like Virgil to share his salty potato products, so the gesture weirdly flattered Roman. His standards for flattery had gotten low, it seemed. Thomas came into the kitchen and smiled at Roman.

   “Comfort food, Pat?” Thomas asked, arching an eyebrow at the food on the table.

   “ Roman is fine, but I’m not,” Patton said somberly as he served himself some mac-and-cheese.

   “Hm?” Roman looked up with his mouth full of mac-and-cheese when he heard his name and swallowed. “I’m sorry?” Roman apologized, but he did not understand what was happening.

   “No, Roman, you didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to apologize,” Patton held up his hands and shook his head.

   “I heard my name and the fact that you’re not okay, so I think I kinda do ?” Roman said carefully, furrowing his brow nervously.

   “Do you remember what you talked to Remus about?” Thomas asked mildly, sitting down at the table in the remaining spot.

   “Uh-” Roman thought for a moment, trying to remember. “Um. Frozen, gayness, juvie, killing each other through a mirror universe… my family, I think,” Roman listed off. “Probably some other stuff, we were there for an hour,” Roman shrugged and took another bite of mac-and-cheese. It was a weird question to ask, but it’s not like he and Remus were talking about bad things, so he had no reason to hide it.

   ‘Can twins kill each other through a mirror universe? Metal,’ Virgil signed, looking darkly excited at the concept.

   ‘Only if they’re perfectly identical,’ Roman put down his fork and signed back while he chewed.

   “Agreed, he’s probably fine. Comfort food is excellent, though. Thanks for cooking, love,” Thomas rubbed Patton’s shoulder appreciatively.

   “It helps me process things, but there’s never a bad time for mac-and-cheese,” Patton said sagely, nodding and rubbing his chin wisdom.

   “Maybe not so much if you’re lactose intolerant. Unless it was your last meal, then it’s the perfect time for mac-and-cheese,” Roman provided with a small shrug. Virgil looked considerate and also nodded after a moment, chewing his food.

   ‘Poisoned mac-and-cheese would be a good method to die,’ Virgil signed. Roman raised his eyebrows and considered it, then tilted his head and nodded enthusiastically.

   ‘Only with bacon and serranos,’ Roman added. Virgil nodded in agreement, looking satisfied.

   “I really hope that’s table appropriate talk,” Patton narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

   “We’re just talking about variants of mac-and-cheese,” Roman provided dismissively. It wasn’t wrong, but he assumed Patton didn’t want to know that one of those variants was poison.

   “Pre-digested, right?” Patton asked carefully, pointing with his fork.

   “Gross!” Roman shot and Virgil stuck his tongue out. They both grimaced at Patton. “We’re not animals, geez,” Roman muttered bitterly and shook his head.

   “We discussed lactose intolerance. I had to be sure,” Patton said seriously as he looked between the two of them.

   “Well, you brought that part of the issues up, not us,” Roman rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair dramatically.

   “Are your feet okay after having to be on them today?” Thomas asked, clearly in an attempt to change the subject. Roman could respect that since he’d rather be able to eat his food without feeling disgusted.

   “They’re not bleeding, I don’t think? They just hurt,” Roman replied, sounding just as unsure as he felt. He didn’t exactly check them when he got back. Bending down to do that hurt like a bitch and they didn’t feel weirdly hot or anything like that.

   “I’m not sure about you walking to school still on Monday,” Thomas deliberated, sounding concerned again. Thomas and safety, geez.

   “A proposed compromise: I call you if they start bleeding again,” Roman offered. Thomas seemed to like compromises, and it was reasonable in Roman’s opinion.

   “How about we check if your feet are okay in the morning and then make that the agreement if they’re healed enough?” Thomas suggested back an alteration to the compromise, and Roman narrowed his eyes and chewed his cheek for a moment.

   “You know I’ll be too out of it to argue with you in the morning,” Roman objected, stabbing at his mac-and-cheese.

   “I’m counting on it,” Thomas smiled knowingly and Virgil silently snickered at Roman.

   “ Hey ,” Roman glowered mildly at Thomas, pulling his lip to the side.

   “If they keep opening up and bleeding, it’ll just take longer to get back to your regular life, Roman. They need to heal fully,” Thomas reminded him, tapping the table with his finger to punctuate his point.

   “It’s just that one on my right foot that doesn’t like staying closed. What if I hop there?” Roman asked facetiously, rolling his eyes dramatically.

   “I’d love to see you try while not hurting your broken rib,” Thomas said glibly.

   “Okay, you know what?” Roman replied faux-angrily. “That’s fair,” Roman finished blithely and snickered. He reached in the chip bag and crumpled up one more chip on the remaining mac-and-cheese.

   “You had me going there, kiddo, not gonna lie,” Patton chuckled nervously after a second.

   “Sorry,” Roman apologized. “I was just having some fun,” Roman said sheepishly, curling in his shoulders.

   “I thought it was funny,” Thomas laughed lightly. Roman relaxed a little and continued eating, glad he wasn’t upset. Patton settled down too, though he was still eating much slower than his usual vacuum pace.

   ‘Want to continue playing after food?’ Roman put down his fork and signed at Virgil. Virgil scooped some more mac-and-cheese out before signing.

   ‘Father, I crave violence,’ Virgil signed back with an evil smile, and Roman laughed, not anticipating that response in any sense, and got a smaller portion of seconds for himself.

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[eddie-boii]

Of Blanket Forts and First Kisses

Fic info: Eddie lives. (So does Stan but it’s not mentioned I’m just in denial).

Rating: Teen and up. 

Pairings: Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak. 

Ao3 link: here. 

Summary: Richie could not pinpoint the moment he started loving Eddie, but he could pinpoint the moment he realised it. During a sleepover, in a blanket fort, with fairy lights twinkling and clumsy kisses that were supposed to be just practice for when they’d one day be kissing girls instead.

*

Richie could not pinpoint the moment he started loving Eddie. He could, however, pinpoint the moment he realised it. 

It all came rushing back the moment he’d stepped foot back in Derry and caught sight of his old friend, his hair carefully brushed back, eyebrows permanently furrowed, dressed in a dorky polo shirt and rambling about his food restrictions to the waitress. He hadn’t changed a bit. He’d grown, of course, though not by much, and he’d gained the odd grey hair and laughter lines (though the frown lines were more prominent), but he was still the same old Eddie. Still paranoid about every little thing, still ready to fight anyone who even slightly provoked him, and still ridiculously, infuriatingly cute whenever he went off on one of his tirades.

Richie felt every one of the years he’d spent in love with this man all crash onto him at once, and Richie, being Richie, had downed some shots and made as many ‘your mom’ jokes at Eddie’s expense as was possible just to have something to say, some facade to hide behind. But he remembered. He remembered quick-fire banter and shared ice creams and legs pressing against each other when they squeezed into Richie’s single bed or the hammock to read a comic book between them, fingers brushing as they wrestled over the pages and sending little sparks of electricity up Richie’s arms. And he remembered the sleepover and the blanket fort and their flushed cheeks and hot breath as they shared that moment, something so innocent but that felt so dangerous, as the sat hidden beneath the folds of old sheets away from the world and all the cruel people in it. 

They’d been twelve and Richie’s mom (after much begging from her son) had managed to persuade Ms Kaspbrak to let her fragile little Eddie Bear to stay over at Richie’s house for a sleepover. 

“They’re just a couple of boys,” Maggie Tozier had said. “They can’t get up to much.” And Eddie’s mom had piled her arms with all of Eddie’s prescription medication along with a list of what he should take and when and what to do if he started feeling sick and all the numbers for every doctor in town. She’d grasped Eddie tightly and told him to come home straight away if he so much as coughed, and it took a while for Richie’s mom to prize Eddie away and bundle him into the car. 

Eddie, though still overly paranoid and more than a little disgusted at the state of Richie’s room, seemed to relish in the temporary freedom of being away from his overbearing mother, and they’d eaten enough candy to make them sick and played video games on Richie’s second-hand Nintendo and wrestled until Eddie had accidentally elbowed Richie in the face and nearly broken his glasses. 

After Maggie had scolded them, she’d gathered together a stack of old moth-eaten sheets, tangled fairy lights that had still not been put away since Christmas and the small mountain of ugly cushions Richie’s grandma kept buying her, and dumped the lot on Richie’s bed, telling the boys to entertain themselves quietly because she had work to do and she’d better not have to come up here again until bedtime.

So, complaining that this was such a childish thing to do, the boys put together a wonky but stable blanket fort, a nest of cushions and blankets inside and enough glow from the twinkling fairy lights to read comics by. Richie was secretly rather proud of it, and inside it felt like their own personal space, just him and Eddie, able to just exist together as they were away from the eyes of anyone who might judge them for it.

They tucked themselves away inside, the space just a little too small to avoid any physical contact, and they read comics until they grew bored and then talked about anything and everything. It was always so easy to talk to Eds.

“- and Bill wouldn’t fucking shut up about that kiss with Bev Marsh like he’s the only one to kiss anyone ever. And it’s so gross!” Eddie was rambling “You know kissing causes mono? Mononu- mononucleoli or something. That’s why they call it the kissing disease, you get it through other people’s saliva.”

“Oh yeah, I know,” said Richie. “I got it one time.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, from your mom.”

Eddie smacked him in the face with the nearest cushion, knocking Richie’s glasses askew as he snorted. “That is so not fucking funny.”

Richie adjusted his glasses and tossed the cushion back at Eddie. “I bet all the girl’s at school have that mono thing. You know girls practice kissing with each other?”

Eddie frowned, looking sceptical. “They do? Why?”

“Yeah, I heard my sister talking about it with her friend. It’s so when they have their first kiss with guys they’re good at it. I mean, would you want to have your first kiss with a chick only for her to think you suck?”

Eddie’s mouth twisted into some sort of a grimace at that, though whether it was the thought of his first kiss sucking or the thought of kissing in general, Richie didn’t know. “But doesn’t the kiss with her friend count as her first?”

“Of course not,” Richie scoffed. “They’re both girls. It only counts if it’s a girl kissing a guy, duh.”

“Do-” Eddie shuffled in his spot amongst the cushions. “Do boys do it? Practice with each other?”

Richie blinked, his heart suddenly racing for reasons he couldn’t fathom at that moment. “Um- I mean- If they do they wouldn’t say, right? Coz Bowers…”

“So maybe other boys do and we just don’t know?” said Eddie. He was looking at anything but Richie, his eyes darting around anxiously. “So… It’s probably normal for boys too, right? I mean if we-”

Richie felt his face burn and nearly choked on air. He made a show of cleaning his glasses, just to have something to do with his hands “Yeah, I mean, it wouldn’t count, obviously. It would just practice. For when we kiss girls.”

“For when we kiss girls,” Eddie repeated, nodding. 

“We could if you want,” Richie blurted. “I mean- I don’t- I don’t mind. I-”

“Have you kissed anyone before?”

“Oh yeah, I get a lot of practice from your mom,” Richie said instantly without thinking, but he was grateful for his lack of filter when Eddie rolled his eyes, some of the tension ebbing away in the midst of their usual snark.  

“Seriously, trashmouth, have you?”

“No,” Richie said honestly.

Eddie’s eyes travelled up to meet Richie’s. “Me neither.”

“Coz of all the mono?”

“Right,” said Eddie, not looking away. 

“I’m pretty sure I don’t have mono.”

“Good.”

For a time, the sound of their breathing as they stared at one another was the only thing filling the silence of the fort, then Eddie gave a lurch forward. They didn’t even manage a kiss, as their noses bashed together and Eddie’s forehead met Richie’s glasses, then they both looked at one another and burst into laughter. 

“I think this is exactly why girls practice,” Richie said as he wiped tears of mirth from his eyes and Eddie took a puff from his inhaler because he’d been laughing so hard it had made him wheeze. 

“No shit,” said Eddie, rubbing at the red mark on his forehead left by Richie’s glasses.

“They go in more slowly when they do it in the movies,” said Richie. He slipped his glasses up onto his head and, with a shaking hand, reached out to touch Eddie’s cheek. “Like- like this.”

Eddie’s face was just a blur now, but Richie could tell his eyes were on his lips and his face was flushed, and Richie could picture in clear detail the little blotches of pink on his freckled cheeks and his big brown perpetually worried eyes. Cute cute cute.

They’d leaned in, both boys at once and far more slowly, and their lips finally met in a sloppy clash of teeth, once, twice, and Richie didn’t care that they weren’t doing it right because it was Eddie and Eddie would always be right for him.

“Boys, you better be going off to sleep soon!”

Richie jerked back at the sound of his mom’s voice, his face flushing and heart racing as though he’d just been caught doing something bad. Something really really bad. But his mom had only called in from the hallway and hadn’t seen, and when Richie looked back over at Eddie their eyes met in crystal clear understanding that they’d never tell anyone what had just happened, not even Bill or Stanley. Because even if it had only been practice, even if it didn’t count, boys who kissed boys were dead boys.

Later that night, the two boys lay beside each other after deciding on sleeping in the blanket fort rather than letting it go to waste. Eddie was fast asleep and Richie lay still next to him, their hands resting only inches apart between them. He watched Eddie’s face, marvelling at how serene he looked in his sleep without the worries of his mother piling on top of him. His finger’s itched to reach out to Eddie to touch his hand, but then he rolled onto his back, his hands flying up to press the palms into this eye sockets and tug at his hair with his fingertips. 

“Shit shit shit.”

“Richie?” Eddie’s voice was slurred, and when Richie looked over him, his eyes seemed out of focus. Richie silently cursed himself; he hadn’t meant to wake him. “You okay?”

“Just had a bad dream,” Richie lied.

Eddie propped himself up on one elbow, his forehead creased in concern, and Richie both hated and loved him for that look. “What happened?”

Richie looked at Eddie a moment, at his deep brown worried eyes, then he looked away. “Oh, it was awful, Eds, I dreamt your mom didn’t love me anymore.”

Eddie gave a snort of indignation before rolling over, his back to Richie, who at once missed his friend’s stupid, cute face. “You’re an asshole.”

“I know,” said Richie, too quiet for Eddie to hear. He rolled over, too, and squeezed his eyes shut.

Boys who like boys are dead boys, he told himself, but it did nothing to subdue his treacherous heart.

He hoped the feeling would fade, that he’d see Eddie as just a friend again and would never want anything more, that maybe he’d even find a girl he liked better. But then It happened and he’d had to witness Eddie - infuriating, adorable Eddie - work himself up into a panic attack but set foot in Neibolt all the same because Bill needed him to. He’d watched him almost die at the hands of that clown, breaking his arm in the process, and he’d yelled at Bill and shoved him because he couldn’t bear that feeling of nearly losing Eddie. That wrenching in his chest that something could have happened to him. That the feeling that his heart from trying to tear itself from him every time Eddie was near - because it belonged to him and not Richie - would stay inside him forever. That burning chasm of things unsaid ate away at him, desperate for a release, but he wouldn’t say those things to Eddie. Couldn’t.

So instead he carved them into the kissing bridge, where they would sit forever, unchanging and waiting, until he was ready to face them again.

*

Twenty-seven years later, Richie knelt by the wooden fence and traced his fingers over those letters. Those three little symbols that held so much, worn and browned with age. Then he drew out a pocket knife and repeated the same process he’d carried out all those years ago, carving everything he’d ever felt for Eddie into the wood with the tip of his knife. He was just about to start on the ‘E’ when he was interrupted.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Richie whirled around, knife still in hand, and Eddie had to jerk away before it sliced into his arm.

“Jesus, asshole, be careful where you’re swinging that,” Eddie said, scowl ever-present on his face. “It’s probably riddled with bacteria.”

Richie stared blankly at Eddie for a moment before his eyes travelled to the spot on Eddie’s chest, drawn there like a magnet so often after what he’d seen in the deadlights. The claw tearing through Eddie’s chest, the blood spilling from his mouth and dripping onto Richie’s face. He could still feel the heat of that blood sometimes. But when he’d been released from the deadlights for real, he’d managed to tug Eddie out of the way just as the claw came crashing down, and Eddie had been unharmed. But Richie could still see the great bloody hole in his chest whenever he closed his eyes.

“So what were you-” Eddie started. He leaned to the side to look around Richie and stopped, his expression frozen.

Richie swallowed thickly. “I uh-” Shit. Quick, Richie, think of a straight explanation for this. “The ‘E’ stands for Elisabeth Shue.”

Eddie blinked at him. “Elisabeth Shue?” he repeated.

“Yep,” said Richie, leaning into his lie. “You know how much I loved the Karate Kid.” That part was true, at least, but he’d always been a tad more interested in Ralph Macchio. He had a weak spot for brown-eyed boys.

Eddie gave him a deadpan expression and held out his hand. “Give me the knife, Rich.”

Richie wordlessly held it out, a part of him half expecting for Eddie to take it and scratch the ‘E’ off the bridge. But when Eddie moved around Richie, he brought the knife to a different spot entirely. His body blocked Richie’s view and he didn’t dare move closer, the weight of what Eddie had seen pressing down on him. He definitely had not believed the Elisabeth Shue lie.

“You know how fucked up this all is?” said Eddie, not looking up from whatever he was carving. “How we just forgot everything that happened here. I forgot how my fucking dad died, what the fuck’s up with that? And learning to ride my bike and going to school and my first kiss…” He trailed off and Richie swallowed. “You know, whenever anyone asked, I always said it was with some girl in high school, but it wasn’t. It was here. With a dumb boy in a blanket fort. How could I just forget that?”

Richie buried his hands deep in his pockets as he always did when he couldn’t think what to do with them. “It didn’t count, though.”

“Didn’t it?” said Eddie, looking up at Richie, his eyes soft and wrinkled around the edges. “I always counted it, to tell you the truth. Until I forgot, that is.”

Then he stood up, and Richie saw what he’d been carving: a crude, jagged ‘R’ within a heart.

Richie stared at it, for once at a complete loss for words. He’d seen that heart before, faded into the wood, but he’d never thought…

“I’m not as good at carving as you,” Eddie said as he stood by Richie, eying his handy work. “But in my defence, it was initially done with a house key. My mom would’ve wrapped me in bubble-wrap if she found out I had a knife on me.”

“You-” Richie started but his voice seemed to meet a block before he could finish and he finally knew how Bill felt with that stutter of his all the time. “You-” He swallowed. “What does it stand for?”

Eddie smiled softly. He turned his head slightly to look up at Richie, his brown eyes twinkling and his expression so soft. “It stands for Ralph Macchio.”

That was enough to snap Richie out of his trance. He turned and pummeled Eddie’s arm as his friend snorted. “You asshole!”

Eddie nudged Richie with his elbow, still grinning. “It stands for Richie, you fucking idiot. What else?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Richie exclaimed. “You never said anything!”

“Neither did you.”

“I didn’t want Bowers to beat me to death!”

“Well, neither did I!”

They stared at each other, then Richie ran a hand down his face. “Fuck this town, man. And fuck growing up in the eighties.”

“And fuck Bowers,” said Eddie. “And that dumb fucking clown.”

“Sloppy bitches,” said Richie, and Eddie laughed. Richie would never get tired of that sound.

Eddie looked back over at the bridge, at the carvings done by two boys with too many feelings and nowhere to put them. “You never finished the ‘E’,” he said. He knelt back down by the barrier and finished the job himself, carving his own initial next to Richie’s. R + E.

Then he stood back up, closed the knife and handed it back to Richie, their fingers brushing and eliciting that oh so familiar spark up Richie’s arm. But neither moved away, and Eddie’s hand came up to push Richie’s glasses on top of his head, and their breath mingled in the air between them until Richie tilted his head down and closed the space. 

There was no clashing of teeth this time; they’d both had practice. Their mouths moulded against one another as though two halves of a whole finally reunited, and if Eddie felt any pain in his injured cheek when his mouth slipped open and Richie delved deeper, he didn’t show it, or didn’t care. Richie’s hand came up to rest on Eddie’s chest, relishing in the proof that the surprisingly defined muscle beneath his shirt was solid and whole, and Eddie dug his finger’s into Richie’s mop of hair, tangling it even more.

Eddie was the first to pull away. He looked at Richie, his eyes still on his mouth and his breath hot on Richie’s faces. “I need to get a divorce,” he said.

Richie’s brain was kind of fuzzy after what had just happened, the rush of endorphins muddling his thoughts. “We’re not married yet?”

Eddie snorted and gave his chest a light shove which did nothing as he was still holding onto Richie with his other hand. “From my wife, idiot. Did you just say ‘yet’?”

Richie grinned stupidly and ignored the question. “Oh, I forgot you married your mom! She can join us, you know? I’m all for it.”

“Fucking hilarious,” Eddie deadpanned. “Back to that ‘yet’.”

“What about it?”

“That’s pretty gay, bro.”

“I’m not-” Richie stopped, the automatic denial still on his tongue. “Fine. Okay. Yeah, I’m gay. I’m a huge fucking flamer like Bowers always said. Happy?”

“Very,” said Eddie, and kissed him again.

Later, back in the old Town House, they constructed a fresh new blanket fort in Richie’s room and practised many more things that totally didn’t count. And after, late at night, they lay side by side, Eddie fast asleep, his face free of worry lines even in the aftermath of all that had happened. Richie watched him, then reached out his hand and took Eddie’s, twining their finger’s together like he’d wanted to all those years ago.

“Richie?” Eddie slurred, cracking his eyes open blearily. He squeezed Richie’s hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” said Richie quietly. “I’m good.”

And Eddie smiled softly and closed his eyes once more, his worry lines fading away as he was pulled back into the sweet calm of sleep.

Richie could not pinpoint the exact moment he started loving Eddie, but he could pinpoint the moment - that exact moment - that he was a complete and utter goner.