#She just wanted to have sleepovers why did Joel have to give her the idea

[str1wberry7thyme]

Just another thing I want to add about Lizzies death this episode is how not only was it completely tragic in every way possible, when it comes to the aspect of it seeming like Jimmy finally broke his curse, when you look into it he really hasn't. Jimmy and Joel were the two that led Lizzie too her early death, it was Jimmy who sang before she died. It was Joel who sent her into that cave to come face to face with her past, present and now her future in exchange for Jimmy to live on. Even if He wasn't the first to die, his presence was enough to tip that scale and send whoever was closest off the edge. Jimmy killed her, his call was the last thing she heard, and his curse remains.

[dayswritting]

“There she goes”

Chapter 2: The one with The Hard Deck

Bob Floyd x Teacher! OC

Summary: Maybe getting out of the house wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Especially if it end up with the opportunity of meeting that cute stranger again.

Pairing: 

Word count: 4,4k

Warning: Bad spelling (English is not my first language), fluff, sloooooow buuuuuurn, Bob being gentleman, Bradley being the fairy godmother

Masterlist

Sunday, a day after Bradley got home, after going to church and having a nice day together. The family was found gathered in the kitchen. Talking about a serious subject they needed to focus on. Getting Lucy out of the house for Sunday night.

“I’m not going,” Lucy said, getting a whine from her brother-in-law. Bradley had decided it would be a good idea if she went with him to Hard Deck. Lucy hated the idea. It was a Sunday night, and tomorrow she’ll have work and didn’t like looking tired. Another reason why she didn’t want to was easy because of Sienna. 

“Come on” Bradley begged her “You need to go out more. Abuela told me that you spend all your weekends in the house”

“Yeah, because I’m spending my time with my niece.” She replied, trying to defend herself. Bradley just laughed at her like what she just said was a joke.

“Don’t use my daughter as an excuse. I know for a fact that mamá has taken Sienna to her house on some weekends and you stay all by yourself at home” Lucy gasped about this confession. She couldn’t believe it, her own mother betrayed her. “And don’t get me started. Because Joel told me that you turn down his invitations when he is in town”

“I can’t believe it.” she hit him in the chest. “You turn my family against me!” she shouted at him. This was completely nonsense. She was a grown-ass woman, she could do anything she wanted. Even if that involves staying at her house for the weekend.

“Yeah, so don’t make me tell you what Sienna told me.” Lucy turned at her niece who was hiding behind the kitchen aisle. The child was trying so hard not to laugh. Nice, now Sienna was on Bradley’s side. “C’mon Lu, we’re worried about you.”

“That’s true, Tia” Sienne finally said “I mean, even I had plans for tonight” That caught Noa by surprise.

“You did?” she asked concerned that her own niece didn’t tell her “Why you didn’t say anything”

“You sound so excited about today's movie night and I didn’t want to hurt you,” Sienna said.

“Oh darling,” Noa got close to her niece and hugged her. “You can tell me if you want to do something else. You could never hurt me for something like that” Noa separated a little to look into her eyes “What are your plans, bee?”

“Lisa’s mom is making pizza for dinner so she invited me to eat with them and have a sleepover” Sienna answered excitedly.

“Well, if your dad is okay with it.” Noa turns to Bradley who just nods in answer “We can call Lucy’s mom and tell her you are going. But I hope you won't be sleeping late because tomorrow is a school day”

“ I promised we won't.” Sienna replies “Her mom said that we can sleep till 10, is it okay?” Lucy and Bradley only nodded in answer.

“You better pack your stuff, baby.” Bradley said, confirming with a smirk.

Sienna smiled so big and jumped to her father’s arm to give him a kiss on his cheek. She hugged her aunt while saying a million thank you. Bradley just laughs warmly at the actions of his daughter. He missed these moments the most when he was on call.

When Sienna left the room, Bradley didn’t lose time and looked at his sister-in-law with a mischievous smile.

“Well, now, since Sienna is going to her friend’s house. You can’t say no to going to the bar” Bradley announced pleased.

“I’m not sure, Brad.” Noa stared at the book in her hands “I’m pretty sure it would be more fun without me. Why don’t you go and enjoyed yourself”

“No way. I’m not leaving my little sis all by herself in this big old house” Bradley replied

“I’m fine being by myself.” Lucy showed Bradley her book “And I have some reading to catch on”

“‘Don’t care. You’re coming with me” Bradley took Lucy’s book and put it on the table to start pushing her to the stairs. “Now, go and get ready. Put the best of your wardrobe to catch the eye of a guy.” Lucy fake laughs at him

“Yeah, right. Good joke, Brads” She started to climb the stairs “I’ll call Marie’s mom and then get ready”” Lucy mocked Bradley.

Lucy looked at her wardrobe without knowing what to use. Sure, when she was in college, she knew how to dress up for going to a bar. But now it was different. She hasn’t gone out like that in ages. Especially now that she is a teacher, she didn’t like the idea of accidentally meeting some parents. Yes, definitely she was not going. So she simply sent a text to Bradley to avoid confrontation.

I have nothing to wear. I’m not going. Sorry.

When she sent the text she heard some noises coming from the room next door. Her door opened and the duo of father and daughter came through it. Quickly, Sienna sat on Lucy’s bed to watch the show while her dad went directly to her wardrobe. After a minute he came out with clothes in his hands.

“Wear this with some white sneakers, tie your hair up and you’re ready to go” Bradley said while handing her the clothes “I expect you downstairs in 10 minutes. We still have to drop Sienna at her friend’s house” He exited her room after saying that. Leaving a shocked Lucy and a smiley Sienna in the bedroom.

“You should use some light makeup.” Sienna said capturing the focus of her aunt “It will make you look gorgeous”

“How do you know so much about makeup?” Lucy asked amazed.

“Abuela Alma told me. Especially that, light makeup it's better because it brings out your inner beauty” her niece answered, trying to imitate her grandmother.

“Well, I’ll listen to you, my beauty guru. Now, get out of here so I can start getting ready” Lucy pushed her niece making her laugh.

Alone in her room, Lucy decided to listen to those two and get ready. No one would believe her but Bradley did have a good sense of style. Sadly it looked like it didn’t work when it came to his stupid Hawaiian shirts. 

What he chose for her was something comfortable and just like her. A white blouse and some blue mom jeans. And just like he said, with her flowered vans it looked perfect. Definitely, the best brother-in-law she could have.

With the essential stuff in her bag, she went downstairs. Finding a quite unique image before her eyes. Dad and daughter were wearing the same Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. Lucy grabbed her phone and took a picture of them, gaining their attention.

“I don’t even want to ask about how you got another shirt like that,” Lucy said

“Don’t worry I have one for you too. But today I've decided to have mercy since it's your first time out ” Bradley replied.

Now that everyone was ready, they went to Bradley’s Bronco.

“I’ll see you inside,” Lucy told Bradley when they came out of the car. “I got a call from my principal”

“It’s Sunday! You can check that tomorrow” Bradley said, trying to stop her.

“It’s really quick. You can go ahead” Lucy answered, gaining a not much convinced nod from Bradley. He went to the bar after telling her “You buy the first round”. To which Lucy just laughed at it.

Lucy called back to her principal. It turns out that in a few weeks, they were having a little fundraiser. It was a yearly event trying to gain some extra money for school supplies. Since being a public school it’s always hard to get money for special materials. Her principal wanted to ask Lucy to take care of the baking area. She had to make some cakes and ask for support to parents to sell some of them. Lucy accepted happily because she loved baking, so it wasn’t a problem for her.

After the call, she made her way toward the bar when a man was thrown out of it. She got close to the man and helped him to stand up.

“Let me guess, you put your phone on Penny’s bar more than once,” Lucy says while offering her hand so he could stand up.

“Seems like I didn’t get the memo” the man responded while taking her hand.

“Yeah, a newcomer 's mistake.” she faked a laugh, helping him. 

Lucy took a look at the man, noticing the pilot’s jacket he was wearing. A Navy pilot, nothing new here. But the nametag caught her eye for a second. Maverick, that name sounds a little familiar. But she couldn't put her finger on it.

“Well, thank you. You didn’t need to help an old man.” The man said with a grateful smile.

“Well, my parents raised me well, sir.” She smiled at him when a familiar song came from the bar. Damn it, Rooster. He really needed to listen to more music. “I think that’s my call. And you're welcome, sir. Have a nice night”

“You too, kid” He replied and Lucy answered with a smiled 

She walked back to the bar. Opened the door and was greeted by the voices of drunk and sober people singing along to “Great Balls of Fire”. Before getting in she got a text from her brother, Joel.

No pilots allowed.

Lucy chuckled at his warning.

Don't worry. Too busy for that.

She went straight to the bar and tried to get Penny's attention. When the woman saw her, Penny's face lit up, and smiled at her. Before Lucy could ask, Penny got her a soda.

"It’s on the house Luce. It's really good to see you." Penny smiled at her handing her the cup before leaning on the counter "So… What do I owe this pleasure?"

"I was dragged here, Pen. You know I don't like this stuff." Lucy replied.

Penny knew her thanks to Lucy's Mom. Three years ago they went to the same book club. And since Amelia needed help with Spanish, her mom offered Lucy's help. After a few sessions, Lucy and Penny became friends. Penny became Lucy's confidant when Lucy felt she couldn't keep going and vice-versa. 

"And who should I thank?" Penny asked.

"My stupid brother-in-law," Lucy said, making her laugh.

"Well, I'm glad he did." Penny placed her hand on Lucy’s shoulder. "You really needed it." After saying that, she left, leaving a speechless Lucy alone.

While at the counter, Lucy analyzed the room realizing how out of place she was. Friends chatting and dancing, people making out, girls trying to flirt with Navy officers. If she had come here eight years ago, she would be dancing with her sister or singing along to Bradley’s piano. But now this wasn't her thing anymore. She was too lonely even in a crowded place like this. And the sound was making her ears feel overstimulated. She really needed to distract herself or get out of the place.

Before she could still feel petty for herself she heard a "Teach" calling in her back. When she turned around she was greeted by the life-sized version of a Ken doll. He walked confidently to her side.

"Hey, Luce. Missed me?" He asked flirtatiously as he gave her a hug.

"Hey, Jake." Lucy answered, “I think I should ask you that question.” She crossed her arms and smiled at him.

“Well, I did miss you.” He smiled at her while leaning closer

The relationship between her and Jake “Hangman” Seresin was one of frenemies. They met at a cafe when Lucy went to pick up some drinks for her co-workers. They talk while waiting and connect in a good way. Even had some more encounters around Miramar. After a while, they meet again at Bradley's Top Gun graduation. That’s when she learned Jake was Hangman, the one pilot that always loved to mess with Bradley. And Lucy didn’t like it when someone messed with her family. Even if she likes them, in a friendly way.

 “Still taking care of other people’s children,” he asked.

“Yep. Still giving girls headaches?” Lucy counterattacks, making Jake laugh. She drinks her soda while he tries to get her to talk. But she barely listened, the noise was becoming louder so it was hard for her to concentrate. She only could see Jake move his lips but nothing came out from them.

She felt a hand on her shoulder “Hey, Teach. Are you okay?” Jake asked, seeing her sudden change of demeanor. 

Before she could answer, Bradley came into her vision. And Lucy into his. She saw how his carefree smile tense when he registered who was next to her. Like the big brother he is, Bradley moves faster to take place next to Lucy and taking Jake's arm away from her.

“Need something from my sister, Bagman?” Bradley asked while putting his arm around Lucy’s shoulders.

“Don’t worry, Big bird.” Jake showed his hand like surrendered “Just catching up with an old friend. Don't need to be so overprotective, Rooster.” Before any of them could keep going, Lucy interceded. She really didn’t want to be in the middle of their bickering.

“And we are already finished.” Lucy turned to Jake and smiled “It was really nice catching up, Jake. See you around.” She took Bradley’s arm and started dragging him to the pool table. Where Bradley was before coming.

“See you, sweetheart” Jake shouted playfully making Bradley groan of annoyance.

“I swear you two are worse than my kids,” Lucy mumbled annoyed.

“He started it,” Bradley said, winning a look from her.

Getting to the pool table Bradley left Lucy's side when he saw a brunette getting closer. Lucy didn’t realize it since she started to look around the people in that area. When she found someone she thought never saw again.

“Tasha?” Lucy asked not believing her friend was in front of her.

"Teach!" She got closer to hug her "It's so good to see you, girl" Lucy embraced her warmly.

It had been years since the last time they saw each other. Phoenix and Lucy meet at the same time she and Hangman did. It had been all thanks to Bradley, he invited Phoenix to have dinner with her after hearing how homesick she was. When Natasha saw her in the kitchen feeding Sienna, she immediately thought that Lucy was Bradley's wife. But after presentations, she learned that they were nothing more than in-laws, a family helping each other. Lucy still remembers the look of relief on her face.

"I didn’t know you were called. Bradley didn't tell me anything." Lucy said when they broke the hug.

"You and I, Luce. He forgot to tell me he was called too." Natasha answered by lacing her arm with Lucy "I'm so happy that you're here, now I'm not the only girl in the group. Well, except for Halo, but she's with the other guys." Phoenix pointed out a girl next to two guys in the corner. "Now let me present you to everyone else."

Natasha took her where Bradley and the other three guys were surrounding a small table in the back. Here the sound was a little lower, so that helped Lucy to calm down. Bradley was chatting cheerfully to two of them while the other had his back turned. When they saw the two girls coming, they stopped their chat so the presentations could begin. Payback and Fanboy, that's how Bradley introduced them, where reall y excited to meet her . The first shook her hand while the second went for a hug saying something about how happy he was to "finally meet Teach".

"I told them about the time you punched Hangman in the face," Natasha explained proudly, putting her arm on Lucy's shoulder.

"Oh, that was an accident," Lucy told them. Feeling that she needed to explain the situation, she began to ramble. "Some guy was following me and Jake tried to help me. But I thought he was the guy so I ambushed him and punched him straight in the eye." She smiled ashamed, looking at her shoes. 

While the guys laughed so hard that they were almost crying. Especially Fanboy that had to lean on Payback's arm.

"IT WAS YOU? You gave him the black eye?" Bradley asked, astonished. Lucy just nodded and chuckled, eyes still fixed on the floor.

"Yeah, Jake make me promise that a won’t tell anyone" Lucy explained to her brother-in-law.

“But you told Phoenix!” Bradley argued like a little child.

“Because she wouldn’t use to annoy him. As you would” Lucy muttered loud enough to make everyone expect Bradley, to chuckle.

Before he could “defend” himself, a new voice joined the group.

"Sorry, guys. I had a call from my Meemaw" Someone spoke next to Phoenix.

When Lucy raised her head, her eyes were met with a pair of Birth control glasses and cobalt eyes. It was him, the same man from the library, he was in front of her. Just that this time he was wearing khakis instead of some blue jeans and a blue plaid shirt. And his hair, if Lucy thought he looked cute before, now that she saw him with his hair styled, that changed him to handsome.

From the man's point of view, it was almost the same. He never thought fate was on his side, but maybe just for today. Maybe the scales have changed for good. For him, Lucy looked more beautiful than yesterday. Without a doubt, she was the most beautiful woman in the bar, no, in the whole world. He started to feel his heart racing, making him unable to talk.

"Library boy" Lucy was the first to speak, making the group look at the just mentioned.

"Hi…hi" He stuttered, still in awe. 

"You know Bob?" Phoenix asked, interrupting their moment. Everyone was asking the same question. How was that possible? 

"Yeah. We met yesterday," Lucy answered, not knowing how to answer correctly.

"In the library" Bob completed shyly, feeling everyone's eyes on him. 

Lucy smiled at him, ashamed of the possible future reactions from Bradley and Phoenix. Those two were so happy to see her like that. Maybe even planning their wedding already.

"Well, that's great!" Natasha said gaining the attention "Now you know my backseater"

"Your backseater?" Lucy asked with her brown furrow “You’re a WSO?” her voiced sound surprise. And for him was the same, it was rare that women not NAVY related knew what his job was.

“Yeah,” he admitted flustered. He extended his hand to introduce himself. “Lieutenant Robert Floyd, Weapon System Officer” 

Lucy smiled at his actions and how he told her exactly what WSO meant. Even though she already knew what it was. She took his hand and shook it.

“Lucia Orozco” she answered with a smile “But everyone calls me Lucy or Teach”

“You have a call sign?” Bob asked, surprised.

“More like a nickname, Tasha and Bradley gave me one a long time ago” she explained, a little embarrassed. She placed her hand on her wrist, playing with her bracelet “What’s yours?” She asked curiously. But before he could answer, Fanboy did it for him. Getting in between.

“It’s Bob,” he said with a giggle.

“Dude!” Bradley scolded him as he had just interrupted an important moment. 

Lucy only chuckled at it. She thought Bob had a call sign just as his name fitted him perfectly. Bob on the other side, felt ashamed of it. He was thinking that it wasn't as cool as the others were. So he just hide a little, like he was trying to make himself smaller. Lucy quickly catches his change of demeanor.

“I think it's a great call sign,” She said sure of herself, making everyone surprised. “It’s short and easy to say. Most callsign should be like that. Especially if you’re in situations where you can’t use too many words” she explained “Imagine you're in a difficult situation and say Fanboy instead of Bob. I mean that's three letters of difference, too much trouble.” she finished.

Both WSOs had their cheeks tint red the only difference was the meaning of each. Fanboy felt ashamed, while Bob was surprised and his heart was racing faster than ever. It was barely the second time they saw each other and Lucy was ready to defend him. 

“Damn, she got you good, man” Payback started bursting into laughter. Seconds later everyone joined him

But on the other side, Lucy realized what she just said. And now she blushed too.

“I'm so sorry, Mickey. I swear I didn’t want to make fun of you.” Lucy apologized “Sometimes the filter between my brain and mouth doesn’t work” Bradley hugged her shoulders.

“Lu, don’t apologize to that guy. He deserved it” He said, trying to calm her down. After that, Mickey assured her that it was okay, he just was caught by surprise.

After that, everyone fell into a more comfortable and friendly conversation. Everyone except Bob, decided to stay silent and enjoy the moment. Or at least try. Since his eyes couldn't focus beyond the arm of Rooster on Lucy’s shoulders and how comfortable they seem with each other. Yeah, definitely her noticing was too good to be true.

“Stop that,” Phoenix told him making him jump. Bob didn't realize when she moved next to him.

“What? I… I don’t know what you mean” he said confused at what she just said to him. She looked at him for a second, trying to decide if he was telling the truth or trying to fool her. But after seeing his baby deer eyes, she realized Bob actually didn’t know what she meant.

“That face of hurt baby deer” she reply while she moved closer to him like she didn’t want to be heard by the others.

“Hurt? Wha… what do you mean?” he asked. Phoenix sighed at his reaction. Man, this boy couldn’t be more blind, joke aside.

“I just, I know what your thinking” she stated in a whisper “I had the same face the first time I met them. And, since you are a nice guy or that’s what I hope, I’m gonna tell you this.” Phoenix moved closer, making it look like she was taking some of the peanuts from Bob’s cup. “They’re family. Rooster and Lu are in-laws. He was married to her sister before she died giving birth to his daughter” she explained.

Suddenly it clicked, the little girl in the library. She was Rooster’s daughter. Even Lucy had told him she was her niece. Now he really felt embarrassed. He made conclusions without knowing all the information. His Meemaw would be ashamed of him right now.

“I don’t know what to say” he admitted avoiding Phoenix's eyes. The woman seeing his action, felt compassion for her WSO so she just gave him some pats on his back.

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself” she tried to calm Bob down “It’s not the first time someone thought that about them.” Bob drinks some water from his cup “Now you can definitely try to get a chance with her” She added mischievously making Bob choke.

When he started to cough he got everyone's attention fixed on him. Lucy quickly moved closer to Bob seeing if he was okay, Phoenix seeing this left his side. Maybe it was the teacher inside of her, but Lucy wanted to make sure he was fine.

“Are you okay, Robert?” she asked him getting his attention while she placed her hand on his back.

Bob simply nodded and blushed, no one called him by his name when he was on call. After calming down he just stared at her. 

“What is it? Do you need more water?” she questioned him quickly worried. 

“No, no, it’s just… It’s silly, don’t worry about it” he replied softly but the brunette looked at him like she was expecting an explanation. Bob sighed defeated “It’s just no one around here calls me by my name”

“Oh,” Lucy simply commented “Do you want me to call you Bob? I mean, I call everyone by their name. But I can totally call you Bob if you wanted. I mean, I don’t have a problem at all” She started to ramble, feeling a little anxious about making a mistake. 

Bob notice how she started to talk faster than before, just like when they meet at the library. He simply giggled at her reaction, damn, she was cute.

“Robert is fine” He replied friendly trying to ease her “I mean, my ma tends to use it when she is mad at me. But you can call me Robert or anything you want” Bob chuckled awkwardly.

“Okay, Robert” Lucy smile warmly.

They stood there in comfortable silence. A minute passed and Lucy decided to try to have a conversation with him, because, even if she leaked the silence she always needed to fill it. Thankfully, Bob found that endearing and followed everything she said to him. Paying attention to what Lucy said, answering all of her questions, and sometimes making them himself. The time passed but they didn’t felt since they were inside their own bubble. So they didn’t realize that two sets of eyes were watching this whole interaction from the pool table.

“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?” Phoenix smiled mischievously at Rooster.

“I don’t know. Are you thinking about how I should play again “Great Balls of Fire”?” He reply winning a glare from the brunette “I’m joking” he chuckled “Yes, I think they look good together” Rooster rolled his eyes

“Good, so we are definitely going to do something about it” she said determined.

“Are you sure? I mean, you know where Lu is standing when we talk about relationships” Rooster knew better than anyone his sister-in-law feeling about having someone to care for romantically speaking.

“Bradley” Phoenix talk with a serious tone “You know better than anyone that this is what she needs” She stared into his eyes hoping to convince him. Rooster sighed.

“Fine, but if something happens it is all your fault” He accepted making Phoenix smile excited.

Half an hour later, the gang decided to go home so they could sleep before the big day that was coming. Everyone said their goodbyes and went their own ways. Before getting into his car, Bob gave one last peek at Lucy, who was talking with Rooster while getting into their car, and smiled warmly. Tonight it had been the best night of his life.

What he didn’t know was that the girl from the other side was looking at him too. Grateful that her brother-in-law and niece got her out of their house. She definitely went to sleep with a smile on her face.

[bye-bye-firefly]

Okie! I’m going to try to think of a request! I once again do not know what this request shall be. I’m going to look through some of your notes for ideas.

Alright, maybe for the purposes of making characters filled with Sleep Deprivation, (because I’ve found that I really like how you write sleepiness, promise next time I’ll try to ask for something different!) there could be a sleepover. And there can be Miu with all her little inventions and one sec. Gonna look at that one poll thingy with the tables.

Found it! There could be Kokichi and Kiibo too. And they have a lot of those cool candles with really obscure names there for some reason? Maybe they just bought them or made them or maybe they’re just There and no one knows why. I dunno??

Also I think it should be noted that I went and googled stuff about the late 2000s and I found out cereal straws are a thing??? Like straws that you eat??? I did not know about this. It was very shocking. The cocoa krispies ones kinda look like those chocolatey stick things that have soft chocolate insides, can’t remember what they’re called, and it made me really crave those.

Anyway, I think that’s it! Sleepover ft. Candles. If it doesn’t seem fun, feel free not to write it. Not like there’s much of a point if there’s no enjoyment being gained! Also, are there like any things in particular that you’ve been interested in writing about? I’ve already asked about your favorite things but like I wanted to ask more questions about stuff you like.

(Btw, thank you for the reassurances that you wouldn’t yell at me, it did actually make me feel better!)

nothing is really hitting me right now regarding how to go with this idea but maybe it'll hit me later. for right now i dont think ill go with it BUT im glad you asked anyway! its always good to ask ^_^ plus i might return to it and make a version of it

and stuff ive been interested in writing...well as always sleep deprivation and eventual sleep (which is basically hurt/comfort which is WHYYY hurt/comfort is my favourite trope. this threw my friends for a loop when we did like a friend quiz for funsies but to be so fair to them i did include sleepy boys as an option which i threw in as a trick answer) but also i just love horror. i like writing unsettling shit yo which is why in recent years all ive been writing is horror. but even in my early days as a fic writer i was writing horror like propaganda is a drama and a horror fic but its not really psychological and its not as overbearing as some of my newer work (some of which is also. not published yet...)

other stuff . other stuff i like to write. trying desperately to remember all the things i like to write. uh. illness. sick fics are good. its why i had like multiple chapters in nameless have either kokichi or shuichi be sick

okay heres the thing is im obsessed with a few concepts and im going to just ramble under the cut about those things and these are things that like form everything i write and create and think about and how i see the world OKAY? okay

so the first thing has to do with tlou1 and it kind of goes hand in hand with the illness but only KIND OF. so you know that joel gets hurt and then goes into a bit of a Coma while he recovers but i dont give a shit about that i care about ONE THING. joel gets hurt right. ellie pulls him up. and hes STILL fighting. hes STILL pushing himself for HER. and she is this little kid and she can barely hold her own but shes gonna fucking try so you have joel stumbling through while hes losing blood and. theres this one part. if you remember this. where joel stumbles and almost falls over and ellie goes, "here, lean on me." and he goes "No." and she goes "well can you walk?" and he goes "Yes!" and shes like "then fucking walk!" and she lets him walk even though he can barely walk in a straight line let alone stand up because they respect and trust each other but she is still obviously scared that shes about to lose him and hes scared that hes about to lose her and i love that bit of the game so much. the way joel is barely able to move and do anything and therefore you as the player are barely able to do anything to help ellie and you feel so helpless and she can STILL hold her own and you are STILL a team and you are FIGHTING so FUCKING HARD and youre NEARLY THERE!!! and joel ONLY lets go when they are safe. he only falls over when he knows they are safe. he physically cannot go on any longer even though he wants to. THAT is a scene and concept ive written privately for like my own characters and even for nameless though that scene was never popped into the story. i like seeing gravely injured characters fight so hard for the people they care about, and then i love being able to see the people they fought hard for scared that they might not make it. theres so much care and devotion and LOYALTY in that and i love using it for like parent-child duos or even ships like. the Versatility. this is everything to me. and like. who WOULDNT do that for someone they care about? who WOULDNT risk their life to save someone they love? who WOULDNT hold on for a little longer for them?

okay next thing. this is something that comes from tlou2 which i dont believe youve actually seen because penny hasnt played it completely . ..? i think ? ? i havent caught up with the streams...but anyway im gonna talk in vague terms about this but basically. ive talked about this in a note before i know i have. but theres this whole long conversation between joel and ellie that ends with ellie being like "i shouldve died in that hospital. my life wouldve fucking MATTERED." and joel tells her, "if god gave me a second chance in that moment...i would do it ALL again." and when you go through tlou2 you know just what that means. its all the pain. and despite everything, he would do it again and he says this to her face when she is at her angriest, her most bitter, and she says. and this has ALWAYS made me cry and im like tearing up thinking about it she says "i dont know if i can forgive you for that. but...i would like to try." and ever since i saw that scene i can say for certain that has like changed me fundamentally like this has shaped me and tlou1 has shaped me. its just. god. GOD!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT. BUT...I WOULD LIKE TO TRY. DO YOU GET IT??? im loinsg it im losing my MIND its the love its the capacity for forgiveness for something that to you is only unforgivable and THATS what tlou2 is about as well people may tell you its the revenge is bad game but its ALWAYS about forgiveness and they dont get it like i do and its tragic and at the same time provides closure and its bittersweet and its that bittersweetness that i love and i love writing scenes and stories that are essentially just i dont know if i could ever forgive you for that, but i would like to try. we hurt each other so much and so often we hurt the people we love unintentionally and its so hard to forgive and sometimes it takes a long time to get to the point where we can. and sometimes we cant forgive. sometimes we never get to that point. but i think its beautiful to try for someone you love too much to lose. i think its really beautiful.

and finally. this goes kind of hand in hand with everything ive written here. im just fixated on the idea of fighting through people or something destructive right like this person is fighting so hard through something covered in blood or muck and the dust settles and theyre shaky and they see the person they were fighting so hard for and they just relax and gather them up in their arms and its the knowledge that theyre okay, its okay............not having to fight anymore is what its all about at the end of the day. and that also leads to eepies

but at the end of the day its all about love really. everything adds up to effort and love

[reidingandwriting]

"Deja Vu"

Word Count: ~2300 words

Ship: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (ex/platonic?), Peter Parker x Michelle Jones

Warnings: A curse word or two, slightly OOC moments but it is fan-fiction so :)

A/N: I'm in love with this song and had to write this. Popped this baby out in 3 hours, and I'm pretty happy with it. Side note: I created my own timeline for this lmao. Morgan exists, but they don't live in the cabin. Reader is mentioned to be fem once or twice, but reads neutral besides that! Reader is Tony's kid but it could be read as adopted/his bio kid.

“One strawberry ice cream, just for you.” Peter said as he set the cup down in front of MJ, a single spoon dipped in the light pink dessert. MJ immediately started to eat as Peter took a seat beside her, and you and Ned were seated across from the couple at a local ice cream shop you had discovered. The one where you had taken him, where you had convinced him to try the strawberry ice cream instead of the vanilla he always got. You scooped a spoonful of your rocky road ice cream a little too aggressively, unable to eat your favorite ice cream flavor anymore.

“Thanks, Parker, it’s really good.” MJ said and Peter nudged her shoulder.

“Mind if I steal a bite?’

“Of course I mind.” MJ deadpanned and Peter blanched before MJ smirked at him. “Go ahead, loser. Just one.” MJ gave him a look and Peter saluted.

“Scout’s honor.” Peter took MJ’s spoon before he took a bite, and you barely held back the scowl as you looked over at Ned. He gave you a sympathetic smile and tapped his foot against yours under the safety of the booth. You brushed your shoulder against Ned’s while Peter and MJ were too entranced by each other to notice.

“If you get any ice cream on my jacket, I’m burning yours.” MJ’s words were menacing, but you all knew she was (mostly) kidding. Peter scoffed and held his hand against his chest in mock offense, the sleeves of MJ’s jean jacket comedically too short on Peter’s arms. MJ was dressed in Peter’s Midtown hoodie, the same one you had worn just a few months ago.

You thought it would have been funny to switch jackets, knowing your jacket would look funny on him, while you wore Peter’s oversized hoodie. And now here was MJ, wearing the same sweatshirt, while Peter wore her jacket. Have any original ideas, Parker?

“Earth to Y/N.” MJ waved her hand in your face, and you snapped back to the present. “You okay? You zoned out there for a minute.”

“Yeah, sorry. Morgan decided she wanted a sleepover last night, so we just had to build a pillow fort in my room, and that felt fantastic on my back. Almost as great as her practically laying on top of me all night.” You chuckled. “And you know I couldn’t move her, she’s got me wrapped around her finger.”

“And she knows it.” Peter said and you smiled over at him.

“Speaking of Morgan. She’s been asking me all week about if you want to come over sometime this weekend. She’s in a big Lion King phase, and she wants ‘her Petey’ to come have a pajama party with her and have a sing-along. She’s Nala, of course.” Ned snorted and Peter’s face fell.

“I can’t this weekend. MJ and I are having a Glee watch party this weekend, can you believe she’s never seen Glee?” Peter asked and you felt a pang of jealousy in your stomach.

“Oh, really?” You asked. Much like you hadn’t seen it either, until six months ago. “It’s pretty iconic, but also the worst show ever. Singing along is pretty fun, just being annoying. Really fun.” You thought back to when you and Peter were in your room, doing the same thing.

“Don’t stop believing!” Peter stood on your bed, using the remote as a microphone to serenade you. Peter looked at you expectantly, and you rolled your eyes before singing the next line, just as enthusiastically as he did.

“Hold on to the feeling!” Peter cheered and you couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’re so annoying, Parker.”

“As annoying as this show?”

“Almost.”

“Then I’m not quite done yet.”

“Raincheck next weekend, maybe?” Peter asked and you shrugged.

“I’ll have to check with Madame Secretary. She’ll likely be over The Lion King by next weekend, it’ll be ‘baby stuff.’” Your phone buzzed and you excused yourself before checking the text.

Iron Dad: Hey, kid. Are you busy?

You: A little. Why?

Iron Dad: Pep and I have an emergency meeting for work, and Happy’s sick so he can’t watch Maguna

You: I’m on my way. Give me five to say goodbye

Iron Dad: Thanks, Y/N/N. We owe you one

You: You owe me several. Love you

Iron Dad: Love you tons

“I’m sorry, guys, duty calls.” You smiled, albeit a little sadly, at your friends. “I’ll see you Monday at school?”

“We better. We have a project in chemistry due on Monday.” Ned said and you flipped him off.

“Science is my best class, you know I’ve had the project done and Dr. Banner approved since the project was announced in class.” You winked at Ned before waving at MJ and Peter. “See you later, lovebirds.” You internally cringed when ‘lovebirds’ came out more bitter than you intended. With goodbyes exchanged, you left the ice cream parlor, and you bit back the tears you felt beginning to build up. Did he feel it, too? Did he remember that you did that, too? Was he ever going to tell her all the ‘unique’ things Peter’s done were reused, that you had found them first? You wiped at your eyes before you hailed a taxi, and you shoved all your feelings down to be at your best for your little sister.

--

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Morgan barreled down the hall when you stepped out of the elevator, and you barely bent down to catch her in time as she collided with you.

“Morgan, Morgan, Morgan!” You scooped your sister up into your arms and peppered her face with kisses until she was laughing, and your mood immediately lifted at the sound. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“Mom’s at work, Dad’s in his room. He’s leaving us.” Morgan pouted and you copied her expression.

“Oh, no. You’re stuck with me tonight. Too bad I’m not tall enough to reach the juice pops in the freezer.” You gasped. “Oh, wait. I am!” Morgan thrusted her fist into the air with a cheer, and you set her down. “I need to go talk to Dad real quick, then we can do almost whatever you want.” You emphasized the almost, knowing she’d ask for something you definitely shouldn’t do, then argue that you said ‘anything.’ You definitely saw a career in law for her when she got older.

“Kay-kay. I’ll go get coloring books, then we get juice pops?”

“Deal.” You offered your pinky out, and she linked pinkies with yours before she ran off to her room. You shook your head fondly before you walked off to your dad’s room, and you knocked on his door before coming in. “Dad?”

“Hey, kiddo. Come on in, I’m just packing a few things for Pep.” You walked over to the bag your dad had packed, and you began to inspect everything. “Have I been approved?”

“I think I need a hug before giving approval.” You opened your arms and your dad happily pulled you into his chest, and he held you close, as if he could sense your feelings.

“Are you okay? Do I need to stay?” Tony rubbed your back and rocked you gently, and you buried your face deeper into his chest, your eyes watering and you gripped his shirt tighter, a habit you developed when Tony first took you in- you always grabbed onto him like he was your security blanket, and Tony quickly learned there was no use in getting you to let go until you were ready.

“No, I’m okay.” Your voice was muffled but you made no effort to move yet. “Mom needs you.” You paused. “You’ll be back soon, right?”

“Luckily we’re just headed to the New York headquarters. I hope we’re home by midnight, but I’ll tell you when we find out for sure.” You nodded and let go of your dad, and he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, and he wiped your tears away with his thumb and the action almost made you cry again. “Ben and Jerry’s and sad movies when I get back, or should I get a few punching bags set up in the gym?”

“Ben and Jerry’s.” Tony nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and you patted his arm, telling him he could continue packing. “ Don’t forget Mom’s favorite lipstick. She always keeps one on her, but you can never be too safe.”

“Lifesaver.” Tony said before he went back to packing.

“I should go check on Morgan, let you finish getting packed.” You said and Tony smiled at you, a softness in his eyes reserved solely for you, Morgan, and Pepper.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best big sister?”

“I do my best.” You smile back before leaving. Fingers crossed she hadn’t made a mess already.

--

You laid in bed, scrolling through your camera roll with tears streaming down your cheeks. You pressed play on a video and let out a choked sob as you watched. You and Peter were seated at the piano in the living room, and your fingers moved gracefully across the keys, playing one of your favorite songs that Peter had begged you to play for him. The familiar sounds of Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’ filled your ears, and you sang along as you played. You turned to Peter, nodded at him, and he began to play the same song after you. You hugged him at the end of the song, grinning since he had finally learned it, and you began to play it again, Peter joining you in singing along. Not even that was reserved for you and him anymore, as you had learned recently.

“I didn’t know you played.” You said as MJ took a seat at the piano, Peter seated beside her.

“Oh, I just learned. Peter taught me the one song he knows how to play.” Your heart sank and now Ned was curious.

“What song?” Don’t say it, don’t say it.

“Uptown Girl.” MJ began to play, and you felt your lip begin to tremble. Your song. The one you had taught him. You looked away as Peter quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek after the first chorus, and he whispered something into her ear. You turned to Ned and dove deep into a conversation, refusing to cry in front of them.

You jumped when you heard a knock on your window, and you grabbed the baseball bat you kept by your bed. You would have called for Bucky or Sam, but the pair were off on their own mission. You got out of bed, wiping away your tears, and you walked to the window, bat at the ready. “FRIDAY, who’s getting knocked to next year with my bat?”

“It appears Peter Parker is the one outside your window.” Peter? Of course it was.

“Lights on dim, FRI.” You set the bat down and opened the window, and Peter popped into view. “Peter? What the hell? You almost gave me a heart attack, dude.”

“I’m sorry, I know, sorry. I didn’t plan on coming out here, but I needed to talk to you.” You gestured for Peter to come in, and you suddenly realized how you had to look to him. You were in a shirt you had stolen from Thor- what? His shirt got mixed up with yours, finders keepers. You were in an old pair of sweatpants that were covered in various stains- paint from Morgan, some grease from Tony’s lab, and a bleach mark from where you and Peter were goofing around in the lab and you spilled some mystery chemical on your pants. And let’s not even talk about your puffy eyes and the tear marks on your cheeks from a night of crying.

“About what?” You sat on your bed, eyes not meeting Peter’s.

“About earlier at the ice cream parlor. You seemed really… spaced out. Not yourself. And I caught you scowling once.”

“I didn’t scowl.” You tried to defend yourself but you sighed, knowing he was right.

“And ever since MJ and I started dating, you’ve just seemed different. You’re not, like, jealous, are you?” And you couldn’t help but laugh. Truly laugh, which caused Peter’s brows to furrow. “What’s so funny?”

“You think I’m jealous! Why should I be jealous?” Peter frowned at how you weren’t taking him seriously, and he was confused.

“You know, we had… a thing. Not that we dated, but I mean, we were really close you know.”

“Oh, I know.” Like a switch, your emotions flipped from sad to frustrated in seconds. “And I’m seeing all these ‘things’ we had all over again.” It was Peter’s turn to start getting irritated, and he crossed his arms.

“Oh, really? Like what?”

“Strawberry ice cream at the parlor, you can’t act like we didn’t do that. Trading jackets, we did that shit too. Teaching her piano when I taught you, how do you not get deja vu?” Peter opened his mouth to talk and you held your hand up. “You’ve got a different girl, but there’s nothing new. I discovered those places you take her, I showed you Glee, I taught you the jokes that you tell to her. When are you gonna tell her? She thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused. I know I get deja vu, don’t you?” You had started to cry again, and Peter started to defend himself until FRIDAY spoke.

“Y/N, your father and mother have returned home. You may want to continue this conversation later.” You looked at Peter who wordlessly nodded. He walked to the window, and he paused before he spoke.

“We’ll talk Monday after patrol. Bye, Y/N/N.” You whispered goodbye before he left and you shut the window before you dropped to your knees, letting out broken sobs.

“I get deja vu when she’s with you…”

[i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor]

y i k e s

@it-fandom-exchange 

Here’s my fic for the IT fandom exchange! This is for Julian, aka @sigmatauris. enjoy!! 

Stenbrough :) 

TW: Mention of suicide attempt 

Stanley pushed a mixtape that Richie made for him into his car stereo. The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert plays softly on the winding road to Ben Hanscom’s house for a Losers Club sleepover. The fiery sun rolls down the sky, painting a trail of pink on a pastel blue blanket. Barely-visible stars blink, sprinkles across the yellow sky. Stanley unrolled his window to hear the chirping crickets that no one else in all of Derry slowed down to listen to. 

At a stoplight, Stanley took a package of mint gum from the car’s cup holder. He unwrapped the flimsy strip of candy and folded it onto his tongue. Stanley checked his rear view mirror, keeping an eye on the full moon as it approached him. He was a good driver. He picked up the skill the day he got behind the wheel. He kept a rigid posture, hyper-aware every time a green light would flick on, gripping the wheel with both hands. 

On the other hand, Stan Uris’s best friend, Richie Tozier, was the exact opposite. Stan always made fun of him before they turned fifteen. (“I’m terrified to see you behind the wheel, Trashmouth, there’s gonna be a lot of lives lost!”) He’d joke. The two loved to joke. Richie and Stanley shot rebuttal after rebuttal, teasing each other whenever possible. In their teenage years of mood swings and raging testosterone, the reckless kids loved poking fun at one another. Their shield of an ego would protect them from such “love-filled” words. Stanley’s ego though, slowly crumbled, and his confidence too. He had to build a shield—a wall—out of something else. 

The Miranda Lambert song ended as Vienna by Billy Joel began. A smirk appeared on the lone driver’s face as the opening piano blinked through the speaker. 

“Slow down you crazy child. You’re so ambitious for a juvenile…” He hummed, moving his head to the rhythm. Not quite bopping or swaying, but a healthy middle ground, “Why are you still so afraid? Hmm…” 

Stanley let the crinkling piano and gentle vocals set around him as he subconsciously drove slower, reaching the Hanscoms’ neighborhood. He twisted the steering wheel, to prolong his drive. Stanley hated to stop in the middle of a song. Especially such a masterpiece as Vienna. His tires grazed the road until the song finished. He found his way to Ben’s house, nearing the song’s end. The same crinkling piano that opened the melody also closed it, prompting Stan to turn off the engine.

He noticed Barn Boy Mike Hanlon’s truck, similar to Richie’s pick-up in the driveway. He thought about Mike. He never understood the boy. Stan couldn’t resist rolling his eyes or making some passive aggressive comments sometimes, but Mike kept silent for minutes and more at a time. He reclined in the comfort of seeing his friends smile or share banter. Mike would blush under his dark skin at the sound of their laughter. Sometimes, Stan thought Mike Hanlon knew more about any of the Losers than the rest of them did. Other times, he prayed he didn’t. 

Stanley saw Beverly Marsh’s beat-up wagon of a car too. He got out of his car and went to examine the rusty thing. Beverly drove well. Her reflexes never failed her; she knew the moves of every driver around her; and she had the second most driving experience of the group, (first being Bill.) The thing was that she inherited the car from her dad after he stopped driving. The alcoholic got his license confiscated and left his car to Daddy’s Little Girl. Stanley bent to see a broken windshield wiper and examine the chipped paint. 

He assumed Eddie may already have arrived since the boy hated driving and lived within walking distance of Ben’s anyway. He finally decided to find out, hoping from Beverely’s car to the steps up to Ben’s front door. He knocked three times and stepped back, flexing up and down on his toes. Excitement ran through his veins whenever the Losers were about to meet up. 

“Hey!” Ben’s bright grin lifted his cheekbones. Ben was a chubby kid, but way more handsome than most of the fit kids at school. His hair always fell into the perfect place unlike anyone in the Bowers Gang. His eyes shone with gratitude. He looked like someone who should be in a toothpaste commercial, where at the end a little sparkle effect was added to his smile. 

“Ben, hey!” Stanley smiled back at his friend. Richie and Beverly both called Ben Hanscom “Ben Handsome” at some point behind his back. Beverly always loved plays on words. Ben once wrote Beverly a sloppy haiku entitled “January Embers.” Richie was the first person Beverly told about her crush on the golden-hearted boy, over a few cigarettes, a good month after the one-hit-wonder wrote: 

Your hair is winter fire 

January Embers 

My Heart burns there too

Their stuttering friend, Bill Denbrough, loved words as well. He wrote a lot in journals no one dared to read. Pencils don’t stutter, so when he wasn’t around the Losers, he built pages upon pages of expression. Bill had it bad for Beverly, but Ben Handsome got the girl first. Stan hated himself for being glad about it. 

Stan peaked inside, hearing a movie, some arguing, and bubbly laughter. 

“Come on in!” Ben pulled him inside. We’re watching Back to The Future. Kind of…” he trailed off, leading him to the living room. 

“All I’m saying is,” Eddie stubbornly argued, with sharp hand gestures to prove his point, “You can’t not have a backstory for a friendship! How the hell did Marty McFly and this stupid scientist guy meet? They clearly didn’t meet at school! Doc isn’t Marty’s dad or grandfather! You can’t just give us nothing!” Eddie stuck to his strict opinions on things.

“Eddie, it’s just a movie!” Beverly chuckled, crunching down on some popcorn. “Calm down.” 

Mike rolled his eyes with the widest grin on his face. As the rest of the Losers Club barely tolerated Eddie’s hard opinions, Mike enjoyed the supervised chaos. 

“That’s what I’m saying! It’s a shit movie!” Eddie leaned back on a dark blue pillow, against a white couch. 

“Woah, woah, we don’t talk shit about Back to The Future!” Stanley spoke up as he entered the living room. Ben smiled. 

“Maybe you don’t,” he shrugged, “I think the movie is trash!” he complained. 

“I’ve got an idea,” Beverly snatched the remote from the table and turned the TV off, earning three groans and one silent ‘thank you’ from her friends, “Who wants to play truth or dare?” Those groans were replaced with cheers. 

“Are we gonna wait for Richie and B-B-Bill?” Stan mocked Bill Denbrough’s stutter. He was only allowed to do so because they’ve been best friends since practically birth. He fumbled with the sleeve of his hoodie, sitting next to Eddie Kaspbrak. His lanky frame reclined against the leather piece of furniture. 

“I guess,” Ben shrugged, “I’ll download a truth or dare app in the meantime.” 

“We’re using an app?” Stanley laughed. 

Eddie jumped at his opportunity to insult his friend, “Well, you couldn’t use your brain. We all know the saying ‘can’t use what you don’t have.’” 

“That was a trash comeback,” Stan commented, fumbling with his Star of David necklace. He admired Eddie’s unwillingness to not chime in. 

“You’re a trash comeback!” the boy crossed his arms with raised eyebrows. 

Stanley furrowed his eyebrows, “What?” 

“FBI, open up!” Richie boomed, kicking at the door.

“We brought s-s-snacks!” Bill’s soft normal-pitched, stuttering voice chimed in. 

Ben marched to the door to welcome the conclusion of the group inside, “Hi!” Ben made way for the two, brushing his blond bangs from his eyes. 

“What’s up, Losers?” Richie stepped inside, pacing to the usual meeting spot; Ben’s living room. He dropped a shopping bag of snacks near the couch as the Losers crowded around it like starved wolves in a pack. Really, that’s what they were; a pack. 

“We were just about to play some truth or dare,” Mike informed, “For recap, Eddie’s been bashing on every little detail of Back to The Future and Stanley is a trash comeback.” 

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Stanley scoffed. 

“He’s also in love with Bill,” Mike added, making Stanley’s eyes go wide. “What are your sources? Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” This was one of those moments he severely hoped Mike didn’t know Stanley more than he knew himself. Truly, Stan didn’t know himself at all. He lost it somewhere in his mind and figured he may find it later. Perhaps, like an innovator digging through a dumpster, trying to find parts and pieces, he’d create something; bring it to life one day. 

“You’re the Jewish one,” Richie poked Stanley’s shoulder. “Aren’t you supposed to be, like, mad intelligent?” 

“Just mad.” Stan rolled his eyes. 

The one thing he knew for sure about himself was that he had his secret which was the fact that Mr. Uris had no interest in women. He liked Bill as more than a friend since they were fourteen years old. The Losers were sixteen and seventeen now and he couldn’t kill the butterflies in his stomach when Stuttering Bill’s lips curled into a smile. 

“The app’s downloaded if you guys are ready to play,” Ben held up his phone, showcasing the title screen of the application. 

“I’m ready!” Beverly excitedly raised her hand. 

“Me t-too,” Bill’s gentle voice followed Bev’s sharp one. The rest of the group ad-libbed ‘yes’s and ‘ready’s. 

Ben has a very nice house. Marble floors matching the marble island in his kitchen, a nice white couch with navy pillows to go with the white walls, accented with dark blue trim. He had a wood-and-glass coffee table too, separating the couch and the TV. It was comfy. 

Ben shooed everyone into the office, closed away from the living room with white french doors. There was a desk in the back of the room and shelves with books and comics and journals, displayed along the walls. The well-lit room had a shaggy carpet on top of the cold floor.

The Losers gradually made their way into a circle. Counter-clockwise, starting by the back of the room was Ben, then Beverly, then Eddie, then Richie, then Stan, then Bill, then Mike, then back to Ben. 

“Alright,” Ben started, looking at Beverly, “Miss Marsh, Truth or Dare?” 

“Dare!” her eyes glowed. The brave girl, far more chivalrous than any of the “men” in the room, loved adventures and thrills. Stanley insisted they call him a ‘man’ because of his bar mitzvah that barely happened. Bill and Mike were the real men of the house, but they both tied with Beverly even at that. The ‘dare’ part of truth or dare was a piece of cake.

Ben clicked the ‘dare’ button, “I dare you to put ice cubes down your shirt and leave them there until they melt,” he read with an amused expression. 

“Son of a bitch,” Beverly heaved herself up, the key on her necklace jingling. She opened the door, “How many should I get?” 

“Just grab a cup and we’ll see what happens,” Ben answered, offering a smile toward her, picking at the fabric of his hoodie. Beverly nodded and went off. 

“A whole cup?” Eddie’s eyes went wide. 

“Yes sir,” Ben nodded. Ben was not at all the evil type, even in truth or dare. The Losers dubbed him the ‘sweetheart.’ As long as everyone was safe and comfortable though, he enjoyed a bit of excitement, just like Mike did. Mike supervised all the shenanigans the group got into. Unlike him, Ben had no control over what happened. He liked to dip his toes into the pool of chaos nonetheless. 

Beverly arrived back, a full cup, shaking with ice cubes. She smiled and held one of the frozen squares to showcase it for the group, “There’s at least fifteen in here.” 

The Losers waited in anticipation and Beverly sighed. Her overalls would certainly keep the cubes in place. She slid the ice down the back of her shirt with a wince, “One.” 

She counted out the rest, managing to keep her breathing steady as the sharp temperature nipped at her back. 

“N-No one a-asked you to do a-a-all sixteen,” Bill reminded, an amused grin on his face. 

“That was the dare!” She shivered. 

“Actually,” Ben took a sharp inhale and showed the phone screen, “It never specified how many. It said ‘ice cubes’ in the plural, but could have just been referring to two.” This was a time that Beverly was not so much a fan of words. 

The red-headed Beverly deadpanned Bill and flipped him off. She had gorgeous red hair that used to hug her neck, but after cutting it short, it curled into the air around her as a pixie style. The only similarity was the color which matched the freckles sprinkled about her face and arms. 

“Why b-be mad at me? B-B-Ben’s the one who m-mmm-made you get a full cuh-cup!” Bill giggled, playing as if he were ‘oh, so offended.’ 

“I’m in so much discomfort,” she squirmed as she sat down, the ice numbing her lower back, “Okay, Eddie, truth or dare?” Ben passed on the phone after hitting ‘dare complete.’ Beverly earned one point for her troubles. 

“Truth,” he answered. 

“Pussy!” Richie taunted, “Just kidding, I love you, you fucking pussy-ass-coward.” Eddie huffed and looked to Beverly who now had Ben’s phone. 

“Who, out of the people in this room, is your least favorite?” she read with a smirk and curious eyes. 

“Richie,” he answered without a hesitation, making a grab for the phone. 

“Bitch, please, we all know you guys are gay for each other,” Stan called, receiving an exasperated blush from Eddie and a cackle from Richie. 

“That’s not true! I fucking hate him and his stupid face!” Eddie covered. 

Beverly kept the phone hostage, “I’ve got a better truth: Who do you have a crush on Eddie?” her direct eye contact intimidated the asthmatic. 

“I already answered a question!” he made another attempt for the phone, “That’s how the game works, you get one truth per turn!” 

“Nah-ah!” She pointed, “Come on…” 

“Richie’s, like, worse than Stan!” Eddie defended himself, “I wouldn’t date him if my life depended on it.” 

Ouch. Stanley thought, but found comfort in being on a higher ranking than Tozier. 

“Oh come on, I’m not so terrible!” Richie reasoned. “Are you saying you’d rather date Stan the Man Uris than this?” he posed, puckering his lips. 

“Gross, Rich.” Eddie’s nose turned up in disgust. “I’m not dating either of you.” he crossed his arms.

“Beep, beep, b-b-both of y-yyy-you.” Bill brushed his shoulder against Stanley. Something about it seemed non-accidental. 

“Richie, Truth or Dare?” Eddie turned to him. 

“I’m not on speaking terms with you,” Richie crossed his arms. 

“Oh, come on, I was kidding!” he admired Richie’s attempt to not burst into giggles. Eddie sighed and kissed Richie’s cheek, whispering a ‘no homo’ which received a wolf-whistle from Mike. “Truth or dare, you stupid bitch.” He took out a bottle of hand sanitizer from his fanny pack and applied it like a chapstick. 

“Dare,” the flustered and confused boy stated. 

Eddie took a second to click on the ‘dare’ button and read the task, “Ew, this one’s gross, I’m not reading it.” 

“What?” Richie whined. “I bet it’s fine!” he strived to take the phone. 

“You’re not licking the fucking floor, Richie.” Eddie snatched the phone away from Richie’s reach.

“Gross!” Beverly made vomiting noises. “Was that the dare?” she asked, earning a wrinkled nose and a nod from Eddie.

“Um?” Bill’s eyebrows furrowed, “Is n-no one paying at-t-tention to that k-kiss?”

“Just let ‘em do their thing,” Stan looked at Bill, wishing he could do the same to the blue-eyed boy. He’d imagined kissing Bill. He’d imagined holding his hand, cuddling, going on dates, pursuing a relationship, dancing, anything.  

“I f-fucking knew it!” Bill celebrated. Stanley couldn’t help but blush at the gleam in his crush’s eyes.

“It’s okay, guys, he said ‘no homo,’” Richie put his hands up in innocence. He thought for a second about the dare. “I’ll lick the floor though.” he shrugged.

“I can’t believe I’d rather watch you--” Eddie read off a new dare, “--Twerking for 60 seconds to a song of the group’s choosing.” 

“Please for the love of God do Please Don’t Go Girl!” Ben cackled, having the song stuck in his head all day.

“No!” Bev whined, “Babe, that’s our song! I don’t want to be dancing with you one night and end up thinking of Richie’s ass.” 

Stanley could only be jealous. Not because he wanted to dance with Beverly or Ben, but because he wanted someone to dance with. He looked over at his crush, envisioning Bill’s hands on Stanley’s hips and Stanley’s on Bill’s shoulders. 

“You’re right, you’re very right.” Ben nodded. “I vote You Got It then.” 

“Ben, no one wants to twerk to your New Kids in The Block trash.” Richie urged, pushing his glasses higher onto his nose. 

Ben pouted, whispering a correction, “It’s On The Block. Not In.”

“Whatever.” Richie said. “Can I please do Crazy Frog?” 

“Why don’t we pick something nice like Frank Sinatra?” Mike suggested ignoring Richie’s proposal. 

“Crazy Frog it is!” Eddie decided, cueing up music on his own phone. 

Beverly bopped her head, trying to hype Eddie into doing the same next to her. He just laughed along with her refusing to dance. Mike made another wolf-whistle as Richie twerked--poorly. Bill pretended to slide dollar bills off his hands at Richie. “Yeah! That’s my be-be-best f-friend!” He cheered.

Stanley admired how Bill encouraged him, even while doing a terrible job. He wouldn’t dare to be brave like Richie, but he hoped that if he was, Bill would be just as proud. Maybe even wear the same goofy smile. 

At the one minute mark, Eddie paused the music. “Who else is mentally scarred from that?” Five loser-hands all shot into the air. 

“Fuck you, fuck all of you.” Richie sat as the crowd booed him offstage. He failed to refrain from laughing. “Stanley, your turn.” he nudged him once Eddie handed him the phone. “Truth or dare?” 

He glanced in Bill’s direction, but decided not to fully look at Bill. “Dare.” he swallowed. 

“Ooh, unexpected!” Beverly grinned, spinning around to lay on her stomach. She put her elbows on the floor and her chin in her hands to observe. 

“Oh-ho-ho, you ain’t gonna believe this one, laddie!” Richie plastered an Australian, maybe slightly pirate-ish accent. “Feast yer eyes!” he shoved the screen in Stanley’s face causing the boy to squint and retract his head.

“Could you maybe like…” he brought the phone to a distance he could see. “What’s it s-ss-say?” Bill asked him. 

“Let the group go through your phone, sixty seconds each.” Stanley recited the line. “Easy, I guess, yeah.” he nodded. Off the top of his head, he couldn’t think of any embarrassing text messages or photos. Stanley was a clean kid. “Did you wanna go first?” he handed it off to Richie, “We can just go clockwise?” 

“You got it, chap!” Richie took the phone, “Which one of ye rascals’ll set up a time ticker for the gang?” he looked up. 

Mike pulled out his phone and went to the timer app, “I've got it. One minute is on the clock… and…” He glanced up to each member of the group. Everyone leaned forward in anticipation, “Go!” he initiated. 

“I’m going to the messages!” Richie declared and scrolled. The room erupted in instructions and suggestions, “Let’s see what Stanley is talking about with his dad…” Richie read a few messages out loud about handing in homework and test grades. He was doing relatively well in school, earning a congrats and a high five from Mike, across Bill’s torso. They studied sometimes together and both aced an English test no one else passed. 

Richie got bored of reminders about school and his dad asking about Torahs that would always go missing from Rabbi Uris’s office. (“Dad, why in the name of Baruch Atah Adonai would I take six Torahs and keep it a secret?”) He went to messages between him and Mike. “Why were you and Mike sending memes back and forth at three a.m.?”

“As opposed to nudes? No, thanks man.” Stan tilted his head. 

“I bet I’ll find some, somewhere here.” Richie laughed, reading three funny memes out loud before the timer rang. 

“Pass it on!” Eddie held out his hand. Eddie looked at the rest of the memes, saying most of them outloud. Laughter roared from the group. 

After Eddie spent his whole turn looking at Mike and Stan’s meme collection and Stanley calmed down a bit, he passed the phone to Beverly who passed it onto Ben. Ben passed on to Mike and Mike passed on to Bill. Stanley was almost completely calm by now. He was laughing along with the group. They made fun of Ben for sending Stanley drafts of poems that he wanted his friend to review before giving Beverly.

He had very little anxiety about them finding something personal since none of them yet came across something bad. He was just almost home free. 

“I’m guh-guh-guh-going into your sss-search histor-r-ry,” Bill declared. 

Richie cackled, “Why didn’t I think about that?” he huffed. Stanley’s eyes went wide, “What? No, that’s gotta be, like, illegal!” he reasoned. He was terrified of being outed. He knew he’d been doing research in the past week about if being gay was actually a bad thing. Gay quizzes, gay research, gay history, why gay? 

His mind raced: What if they hate me? What if they don’t want me around anymore? He loved being a loser because “you had nothing to lose” but he did. If he lost the losers, he truly did have nothing left but himself. That’s the thing he hated most. 

“So, you’re hi-hiding s-ss-s-something then?” he teased, looking to Bill to start the timer. 

“What would I be hiding?” Stan asked, before quickly adding: “Bill, don’t you dare, I’m actually begging you,” he could hear his heart pounding in his throat. What if Bill came across something terribly worse than Stanley imagined? The feeling sank in his stomach as his heart rose into his throat. 

“And I’m a-a-a-actually going into y-your ss-s-search history,” Bill rebutted, “Hey, if I f-f-find your wwweird p-porn, I won’t say it ah-ah-out loud.” The group laughed. Stan chuckled as his heart sank a little deeper, because he knew it would be far from pornography. 

“Fuck you, man,” Stan flipped him off

“F-fuck you!” Bill’s face scrunched up. 

“Sorry, I’m too busy fucking your mom!” Richie chimed in. He watched Eddie and Stan roll their eyes in unison. He saw Bill’s blue brown irises glowing almost white with the light of the phone.

“I w-w-won’t go into yyy-your search histor-r-y,” Bill bluffed. “Start the t-t-timer.” 

“Thanks.” 

“It just makes us all the more curious, Stanley,” Mike reminded him. He raised his eyebrow. Stanley did not like that gesture. 

“Yeah, well,” Stan brushed it off, looking at Bill. 

“Three, two, one!” Mike began the timer, officially. 

Bill typed his way into Stan’s history to silently be met with a few things. Stan glanced down at the phone. 

“Billiam, you bitch!” he reached for the phone. Bill deflected this turning his arm away. Stanley lunged at him but the boy dodged and stood up, reading out some searches, “From last night: Lots uh-uh-of reddit… Some songs… l-lll-lyrics… F-facebook… That’s a lot of s-s-swear words in Heb-b-brew.” his eyes widened.

“Stan, please!” Bill whisper-begged, an itching at his lungs brewed up. 

The Losers snickered along, all oblivious. Richie chanted “Fight! Fight! Fight!” as Stanley got on top of him to wrestle the phone away. 

“Bill,” Mike warned. He hated to see Stanley so panicked and used a stern voice, “Billy, hang on, I don’t think you should…” 

“H-how to t-t-tie a tie?” (“Stan you can’t tie a tie?”) Richie taunted Stanley from inches away. Bill was barely focused on the words, just Stan’s priceless yet genuinely desperate reactions.

“What is-” Bill’s voice shut down for a good second. He looked at Stanley’s, coughing once, then a few more times, almost clearly stalling. Can you overdose on melatonin? How many milligrams of melatonin can the brain handle? What is the suicide hotline number? Followed by other related searches to pull the tears from one's eyes and drain the color from one's face. They met eye contact, exchanging a thousand words before Beverly said,

“Bill? What is it?” she leaned forward, now more concerned than gossipy.

“I-I sh-shh-shhh-shouldn’t,” Bill turned Stanley’s phone off and returned it to him. He sighed. This brought some brief attention to the distressed boy. Stan’s throat tensed as if he were on the brink of vomiting. Gravity seemed to pull his chest together, tightening and tightening and tighter, and he was almost sure he’d close into himself if it continued. 

“What?” Eddie eyebrows furrowed, “What was on there?” he leaned his chin out at Stanley, the curiosity burning him up like one of the Bev’s cigarettes. 

Stanley put his hands up like a robber who’d just been caught with a bad, bad crime. As if a pack of police officers surrounding him all had guns, pointing shiny red lights at his vulnerable, unprotected chest. A light-headedness pressured him and his blood ran cold--Cold enough to re-freeze the ice in Beverly’s shirt.

“Bill?” Beverly sat upright, no longer relaxed on the floor, prompting his name, more as a search for a solution than a question. 

“I sh-shh-shouldn’t s-sa-say.” Bill stammered, much to Stanley’s delight. “P-p-per-per-p-personal.” 

The guns were still up, but this time, Bill was his bulletproof vest. Granted, he never tried on such a shield before, so he wasn’t sure how good it’d work, but he had something. 

“Is it something we should worry about?” Richie looked from Stan to Bill, indecisively. “Give us something, guys.”

Stanley shook his head with an instant, “No,” he answered, “Just personal.” 

Mike nodded, “And we respect that. Right guys?” he asked the group, as a pleasant reminder to lower their firearms and let the guilty man free.

Stanley gave both Mike and Bill separate thankful expressions. 

After a good minute of calming down, Bill still had the remains of thoughts flowing through his mind. Can you overdose on melatonin? What is the suicide hotline number? Can you overdose on melatonin? What is the suicide hotline number?

The group continued. Ben spilled the beans on how long it took for him to write January Embers and Bev gushed over him for the rest of the night. (“Babe, you spent a whole hour on seventeen syllables? That’s so cute!”) 

Bill tapped his nails on the floor. Stanley watched his anxious hand. “I’ll be right back,” Stanley stood up, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he was met with a few nods and ‘ok’s. He had been dared to chug a whole can of soda in one gulp so no one blamed him. After Stanley shut the office door, Bill propped up. 

“I’m gonna be right back too,” he got up and followed. Stanley turned around at hearing the door open. He typically would feel butterflies in his stomach and blush in Bill’s presence, but after Stanley’s dare, he couldn’t think of a person he wanted to see less. 

“Hi,” he waved, “What’s up?” he walked toward the bathroom, Bill following. 

“C-can we t-t-t-talk?” Bill proposed, searching Stanley’s posture for any clues of expression. Stan turned around to face him, making the job easier. 

“Sure…” he prayed it wouldn’t be about the searches, but he knew, somehow, that he’d run out of luck for the day, “About…?” 

“I’m s-s-sss-sorry for still guh-guh-going into your hi-h-h-hi-history when you were c-c-clearly upset ab-b-b-bout it,” he started, looking between Stanley’s right and left eye, unsure of which one to make eye contact with. “I d-d-didn’t think i-i-i-i-it’d be that ssss-s-serious, I juh-juh-juh-just thought th-that…” he searched for words he didn’t prepare before hand, “Well, I d-d-don’t know wuh-wuh-what I thought b-but I just d-d-d-didn’t really c-consider how you f-fe-fe-felt and I’m sorry.” 

“Stanley, it’s okay, it’s a game as far as everyone knows, right?” Stanley touched his shoulder. Bill was stressed to say the least. Thin balloons clustered in his mind, all filling up with helium and popping loudly at different times. All the colors of this loud, wild rainbow. He needed answers he was too scared to ask for. 

“I’m- Is th-th-th-there- D-d-d-do you really fff-f-fe-feel like you wuh-want to d-d-d-d…?” it took a good ten seconds of ‘d-d-d’ before Stanley realized he wouldn’t be able to finish. 

“I got help,” Stan cut him off, “It means the world that you care, but I promise I’ll be okay.” Bill shook his head. That just wouldn’t do. 

“F-f-from whom?” the boy demanded. 

“Uh- you know, just- people. You know?” he stammered. At least he wasn’t worse than Bill at this point.

“Th-that’s a l-lll-lie,” Bill pointed out, “St-Sta-Stanley, have you t-t-told your p-p-p-parents about this? You c-c-c-can’t- You have to g-guh-get help. A-actual help, like p-p-profff-fessional shit or m-mmm-m-medicine,” Bill told him. It was not a suggestion, but a fact.

“No, I don’t,” the words rolled off of Stanley’s tongue, with perfect diction, “I can just… promise real hard to be safe?” he suggested. “I wouldn’t break a promise to you.” he shook his head, tapping the scar on his hand from their blood oath. 

“Stan, p-p-please,” Bill decided on Stanley’s left eye to stare at, “You’ve guh-guh-got to t-t-tell your p-parents, or- or I will,” he threatened. 

Stanley shook his head, “Bill, for the love of God. Literal God. Please keep this a secret,” he begged him, his anxiety spiking once again. 

“We ca-ca-can’t keep this a sss-s-secret.” he spoke, slowly and calmly, though Bill Denbrough was anything but that. 

“Please, Bill!” he reasoned, “I’ll actually do anything at all. I swear. I don’t want my parents to worry. I don’t want them to know everything and then never leave me alone about it.” He breathed. “I don’t want them to treat me differently or treat me like I can’t be alone!” 

“I’m nnn-n-not taking no for an answer on this wuh-wuh-one,” Bill decided. Every plea Stanley made only pushed Bill to give in, but he knew better. The two of them were tense. Anxiety sparked between the two of them when all Stanley wanted was a spark of love, not tragedy. Each word tasted like gasoline. Stanley had a lighter. He could easily mix the two. 

“I’ll work on it on my own!” he put his pinky out, “I promise! I really promise. I swear, Bill. I swear on my life.” They shared a collective thought. “I swear on your life. I can do it on my own!” 

“Stan,” his tone lowered as something clicked in his mind, “You don’t have to do it on your own,” he abandoned his coercive method instead, and approached gently, “I ha-ha-have no idea what I would do if- if maybe one day I woke up and you didn’t. Or what if… I missed my chance to say that I really appreciate you. Or if I never got to go to the quarry with you. Or give you another hug. Or tell you all the- a-a-a-all th-thh-” he huffed as his stutter made an ugly return. 

“Bill, I promise, I’m okay, I promise,” Stanley repeated for him. He heard laughter from the group, but the joy from the closed off room did not seem to reach either of the teens. 

“N-n-no, juh-just-” He took a deep breath. “I n-need-” Another breath. A breath so clear and refreshing that Eddie Kaspbrak would be jealous. “Stanley, I need you to know that I love you. That… not just friendship. I guess. Like the real, romantic, I want to be near you all the time. I want to make you smile and I want to dance with you and take away all your pain until I can just see you smile, type of love. I want to write you poems like Ben does for Beverly. And even if that never happens, I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t know it.” Bill stared at Stanley, almost frozen. He couldn’t find it in him to move or speak to him. He listened. 

Stanley had been hit with something he never experienced before. His stomach turned and his mind fuzzed; those butterflies were back. His eyebrows furrowed, lip jaw just barely dropped, which turned into a smile. Time passed too quickly and he knew he was wasting time, standing still. 

“I- wow,” he raised his eyebrows. “Bill, can I give you a dare?” he swallowed, as Bill nodded. 

“I dare you to kiss me and then hug me for a really long time.” Stanley grinned.

Without hesitation, Bill slinked his hand onto Stanley’s jaw and collided his lips chapped with Stanley’s soft ones. Stan imagined if Mike saw, he’d do another one of his famous wolf-whistles. 

Stanley pulled away and smiled, “I feel the same way you do,” he whispered as Bill pulled him in again--not for a kiss, but for the promised hug, “I have for a while.” 

“Wuh-wuh-will you b-be my b-b-buh-buh-buh-boyf-friend?” Bill asked as his face lit up, unable to contain his excitement. The butterflies in his stomach were replaced with fireworks and a grin permanently planted on his face. 

Stanley hugged him tighter, burying his forehead in Bill’s neck. “Fuck yeah.”

Bill closed his eyes. He caressed Stanley’s back, exhaling a sigh of relief. He kissed Stanley’s head, not exactly aiming for a cheek or his temple, but just as his head was leaned on Bill’s shoulder. Bill rested his chin on Stanley’s shoulder. 

“C-c-cool,” a smile crept onto Bill’s face.

The sun had completely rolled down the sky, leaving a black blanket with silver, glittering dots and a big round moon that he could see from the window. For the first time in a while, the butterflies visited when Stan thought about staying alive. He reached for Bill’s hand hesitantly and cracked a slow grin. Bill looked at him and smiled, squeezing his hand back. Stanley searches his brain for the right words. He ended up whispering, “I appreciate you to an incredible extent.” 

Bill blushed and replied with, ���I love you, too”

“I-” Stan’s face heated up at his inability to properly piece together the three fast words. He giggled and nodded.

Bill gazed at him, “D-d-don’t forget it,” he squeezed Stanley’s hand gently. “O-o-okay?” 

“I won’t. Same to you.” Stanley squeezed Bill’s hand in return with a proud smile. 

“Stan, y-y-you know we sss-s-still have to t-t-tell someone.” Bill raised his eyebrow, watching Stanley’s face fall to consideration. 

Stan almost wanted to protest. ‘No, we don’t.’ or ‘I told you, didn’t I?’ or ‘Why?’ or ‘Just give it a week on my own and we’ll figure it out after that.’ he thought about saying. Instead he looked at Bill’s face, longing for closure.

“I know.” he sighed. “Come over tomorrow and we can talk about details and all that, I guess?” he scratched the back of his neck. 

“I’ll b-b-be there.” Bill nodded, “I’m proud of y-you.” 

Stanley beamed, kissing Bill’s cheek again. Bill copied him, kissing Stanley’s cheek. Stanley’s face heated up, blossoming like bright red roses. He went to kiss Bill’s cheek again, but Bill matched his lips to Stanley’s and they shared a kiss. Stanley was exhilarated; overwhelmed with what he’d wanted for years. 

Richie stepped outside to check on the two, “Hey, what’s taking you so lo- oh.” The two pulled away from each other. “Reminds me of myself and Eddie’s mother last night.” 

“I am going to end your fucking life, Richie.” Stanley threatened. 

Richie put his hands up in innocence, “Just saying!” he went back into the office. Even through the closed doors, the couple heard: “Don’t bother them kids.” Richie’s Brooklyn accent “They’s suckin’ face and Eds here owes me five Washingtons.” 

Stanley and Bill chuckled. Stan smoothly put one more kiss on Bill’s cheek before, leading him back to the office. Their hands never unclasped. Stanley looked over to him as Bill opened the doors. The attention turned to the two. 

“Were you two actually kissing?” Eddie dropped his attention from his conversation with other Losers. “Cause I’m not paying Richie five dollars.” 

“Are you kidding? Denbrough was practically getting laid out there!” Richie answered, receiving five voices of laughter and one Jewish glare. (“Beep, beep, Richie.” “You g-g-guys put buh-buh-bets on us?”)

“Not getting laid, however, was getting a boyfriend,” Stanley corrected.

“Doubt it,” Eddie challenged, shrugging. “Not paying.” he shook his stubborn head. 

Bill glanced at Stanley, then kissed him on the lips for proof, catching the boy off guard. Stan almost fell over, before holding Bill’s waist and kissing back. “Whatttt!”s and “Woah!”s and Mike’s wolf whistle filled their office space. The two separated, grinning, sitting down in their original places. 

Mike looked at the two with an expression that could only be described as ‘I knew it.’ Eddie looked over at a smirking Richie. He knew as well. 

“I’m happy for you guys,” Ben smiled at the two. 

“Me too,” Beverly’s eyes shone with pride. 

“Th-th-thanks,” Bill answered for them with a smile, noticing Beverly and Ben holding hands. He whispered to Stanley, “C-c-come cuddle, let’s be a c-cuter cuh-cuh-couple then them.” 

Stanley giggled, leaning his head on Bill’s shoulder. “Thank you so much by the way.” he said, not exactly paying attention to the other Losers’ words. “You’re the best, Bill.”

[naysmusings-blog]

Courtney

*I laugh as I listen to your stories about the tour. I watch as your face lights up as you talk about doing what you love. A few days later, you call me in a panic. James’ wife has had their new baby and you’re stepping in to host the show tonight.* Oh, H! That’s amazing!  I’m gonna have to stay up and watch.* I can tell that you’re nervous.* You’re gonna do great. Ben’ll be there to help and the writers are amazing. You’re in great hands. *As it turns out, I don’t get to see you before you head to England for the holidays. I wake up on Christmas morning to a text from you wishing me a “Happy Christmas.” I smile and text back, Merry Christmas, H.  I’m still smiling when I head down to breakfast. My mother is the only one in the kitchen and she takes the opportunity to express her displeasure over our friendship.

My mother: *She dries her hands on the towel thrown across her shoulder and sighs.* Court, that boy has done nothing but break your heart and humiliate you. Why are you even giving him the time of day?

//

Ben: Love you, Mama, *he tells you, burying his face in your neck and squeezing you tightly. He’s glad that he made you feel better. Seeing you sad made him sad, too. He leans back and grins at you.* Lou-eh said I could have a sleepover. It’s gonna be so fun! I can play with his brother and sister. They’re little like me, Mama. Did you know that? And I’m gonna bring my football. Lou-eh has a goal, too! *He’s so excited about this sleepover and you can hear it in his voice.*

*When Ben leaves the room, Louis visibly slumps against the counter. He knows that this situation is getting more and more awkward, but he honestly has no idea how to make it better. He’s apologized multiple times. He’s tried to make amends, but at this point the ball is in your court and you don’t want to pick it up.* 

*Harry spends the holidays with his family, seeing the boys, and seeing other people he hasn’t seen in a long time. The boys make fun of him for the whole sex tape scandal, but it was all in good fun. His family tried their best not to bring it up, but it got brought up reluctantly anyways. Harry had moved on from the fiasco, but it was still embarrassing to think about or speak about outloud. His entire family and all his friends watched him have sex. He missed you, a lot, which was weird for him. he hadn’t thought about you in any way besides platonically for a while now, so thinking about you this much was a bit new to him. He wanted to text you constantly, but he knew better than that. Louis’ voice ringing in his head, “don’t be a clinger, Harold.” It was hard to see all the boys with their girlfriends though, including Liam and Louis with their sons now on top of it all. He wanted a girlfriend, he really did, but no one was keeping his attention - at least not the way you did*

\\

*Joel just watches Louis and gives him an apologetic look. He knows that I am hard to deal with lately and he feels for Louis, he really does. Dealing with me in a bad mood was never fun, but Louis was getting the brunt of all my anger and stress and he knew it had to be hard to deal with* I’d say something like it’ll get better but I think we both know it won’t... *he chuckles awkwardly, happy to get a smile out of Louis just to lighten this mood*

*I come out carrying Ben, seeing Louis and Joel standing there together smiling at one another, making me even angrier. I just continue walking out of the room, talking with my back to the two men* You can pick him up at 6 on Friday, Louis. I want him back by 2 on Sunday. *I carry Ben upstairs to my bedroom, sitting on the bed with him, just wanting to hold him hostage and away from Louis for now. I didn’t want to be near Joel or Louis - I felt betrayed by Joel more than anything. Louis was fighting for his son back and Joel just let it happen. He wasn’t fighting this battle with me at all. He basically gave up his rights to ever being Ben’s dad and that upset me. It was just me, by myself. I knew by the end of this fight, me and Louis will probably always be resentful of one another, that was for sure, but I never imagined I’d feel that I’d be losing Joel on top of all of that. I thought he’d be by my side through everything and it felt that he was more on Louis’ side than mine. I get into bed, Ben eagerly crawling up and laying next to me, cuddling into me immediately as we play games on my iPad*