#Like alright we get it doomed bird boy

[str1wberry7thyme]

Just another thing I want to add about Lizzies death this episode is how not only was it completely tragic in every way possible, when it comes to the aspect of it seeming like Jimmy finally broke his curse, when you look into it he really hasn't. Jimmy and Joel were the two that led Lizzie too her early death, it was Jimmy who sang before she died. It was Joel who sent her into that cave to come face to face with her past, present and now her future in exchange for Jimmy to live on. Even if He wasn't the first to die, his presence was enough to tip that scale and send whoever was closest off the edge. Jimmy killed her, his call was the last thing she heard, and his curse remains.

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...

[at a sleepover]

Damian, whispering: Jon?

Jon: Yeah?

Damian: Our planet is doomed.

Jon: Yeah, it is.

Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?

Damian: Sure.

———————

Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.

Jon: *secretly starts recording*

Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.

Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.

Margie: And who do you think you are?

Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.

Jon: Say hi to the internet!

———————

Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*

Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?

Damian: Advertising our joint channel.

Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.

Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.

Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*

Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.

———————

Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*

Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.

Damian, typing code: Good idea.

Barbara: What's that?

Jon: Our new website.

Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.

Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.

———————

Kara: What do you want to drink?

Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?

Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?

Kara: *starts typing into Google*

Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?

———————

[texting]

Jon: Dami, get on Discord.

Damian: Why?

Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.

———————

Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!

Selina: What is it?

Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.

Selina: Show me.

———————

Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.

Damian and Jon: *snicker*

Kate: What?

Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...

Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.

———————

Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*

Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.

Dick: What's a BeReal?

———————

Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.

Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.

Lois: What are you doing?

Jon: We're playing Society.

———————

Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.

Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*

Jon: Huh?

Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.

Damian: I think he meant this.

Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*

———————

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *hops over a log*

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *climbs a tree*

Damian: *recording*

Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.

Bruce: Mhm.

Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?

Jon: Parkou—

Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.

Jon: I have an app that can scan it.

Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[rabbitblackx]

Hey! I wanted to ask if you could do llittle oneshots on how we met the creepypastas?

How you met the Creepypastas

This is all one big one shot. The story continues with each character!✨

Includes: Slender Man, Masky, Hoody, Toby Rogers, BEN Drowned, Eyeless Jack, Jeff The Killer, Homicidal Liu, Jane The Killer and Nina The Killer

Slender Man💖

Slender Man came across you one day while you were on a walk in his woods. He stalked you from afar to see whether you were a threat to the mansion or not. But when you began to coo over a little injured bird you found, his suspicions were quickly debunked

Slender Man didn’t quite know why, but he actually let you leave the woods unharmed with your little birdie friend. Thinking that that was the end of it, he slowly turned towards the shadows, and back to his ‘family’

When you came back to the same spot a week later, you could’ve coloured him intrigued. Slender Man watched in secret awe as you held out the very same bird from then. Thanks to your care, it was now looking much better. It opened its wings wide and flew off into woods, leaving you with a sweet smile on your face

The smile soon fell though when Slender Man decided to show himself to you. Your eyes grew wide and your nose began to bleed. Your brain was plagued with a deafening static, as all you could focus on was that blank, faceless stare

You were his now

Masky💖

There were some rowdy teens camping a bit too close to the mansion for comfort. Slender Man decided to put his three best on a mission to ‘remove’ them. Masky, Hoody and Toby. You were the newbie of the mansion, and was instructed to come along with them for ‘training’

As you all hid behind some bushes a fair way from the teens, Toby bombarded you with questions. You were trying to be polite, smiling and nodding while struggling to keep up with his fast tone

“Leave them alone, Toby.” Masky snapped

Toby pouted behind his mask at the older man. You actually thought he was quite sweet, and wasn’t bothered by him at all

“It’s alright. He’s fine.” You smiled at Masky

You gently placed your hand on his arm, making his dark eyes snap immediately to it. They looked back up to meet your gaze, heat beginning to creep up his neck. You slowly slid your hand off Masky’s jacket sleeve and let your smile linger

Hoody💖

Hoody broke you away from Toby and Masky for a spell. He whispered your name, but got it wrong, and pulled you close, so you were both peeking over the bush. He pointed at the campsite up ahead, brainstorming on how to ambush the kids. You simply sat back and listened, trying to learn his dastardly tricks. You also kind of liked being close to this stranger, his yellow hoodie was quite soft against your side

Hoody said your name incorrectly again, then asked if you were ready to strike. You couldn’t help but giggle at his error, finding it more cute than awkward

“Actually, it’s,” you said your actual name, correcting him. “But you were close.”

Hoody gave a quiet chuckle along with your hushed giggles. “I’m sorry.” He whispered back

“It’s no problem, Ryan.” You grinned

“Oh, actually, it’s—! Oh, wait.”

Hoody was about to say his name was Brian, but he then caught on that you were playing with him. You struggled to keep your laughter quiet, your shoulders shaking as you beamed at the man

“Nice to meet you.”

Toby Rogers💖

Toby squeezed in between you and Hoody’s moment, getting his orange goggles right in your grill

“I’m Toby!” He exclaimed

Hoody and Masky both shushed him, but you thought it was funny

“Nice to meet you, Toby.”

Toby giggled, looking back and forth at the two other men. “I like em’, guys! They’re cute. Slendy was right picking this one!” He rambled

Masky shushed him again, while Hoody got up to get closer to the doomed campsite

“Thank you, Toby.” You smiled bashfully at the boy

Masky got caught up with the actual mission, and he snuck into the shadows with Hoody. While they were dealing with the pesky teenagers, you kept watch with Toby

“You’re real pretty too! Where—where’re you from?” He asked, leaning in close to you

Your face flushed bright red, and you looked away shyly. Toby’s tinted goggles stared into your soul, but with good intent. You were right before. He was sweet

“Well…” you started

BEN Drowned💖

You returned to Slender’s mansion after your first ‘mission’, and flopped down onto the couch. There wasn’t a soul in sight. You flipped through some boring tv channels for a good while, before you spotted an old game console by the coffee table. You slipped off the couch and sat on the carpet, inspecting the console and its dusty controllers

“Hey.” A voice suddenly said

With a shriek, you whipped your eyes up to the tv, where you saw BEN Drowned peaking out of the screen. You threw yourself back onto the floor and clutched your heart

“Gah!”

BEN cringed at your outburst, reaching more of his body out of the tv. “Whoops. Didn’t mean to scare ya that bad.” The corner of his lip quirked up into an amused smirk

Your chest heaved, your hand gripping it through your shirt. “Well, ya did.” You sassed, rising up into a seated position

BEN chuckled. “Sorry,” he shrugged

You were just inches away, him looking down at you from the tv, and you gazing up at him from the floor

“So who are you supposed to be?” You blurted out

BEN yanked himself fully from the tv, sitting crosslegged in front of you. He was definitely… quirky. Them big red eyes dripping blood and all… you had ran into many creepy people since Slender Man took you in here

“BEN.” He stuck his hand out for you to shake. “And you are…?”

Eyeless Jack💖

After wrapping up your chat, BEN disappeared back within the tv screen, seemingly into one of the console’s old games. Just as you stood from the floor, you were scared out of your skin once again when the front door was ripped open. Jeff The Killer bursted through, clutching his bloody side

You hadn’t met this boy yet, but ran over to his aid regardless. You snaked an arm around his shoulder and guided him down to the basement, where you were told an infirmary was

Upon entering the dim infirmary, you and the injured Jeff were greeted by none other than Eyeless Jack. He slowly tilted his head to side, ‘eyeing’ you curiously

“You need to help him. He’s hurt!” You yelped

Without another word, Jack took Jeff off your hands, forcing him over to a hospital bed to dress his wounds. You watched worriedly from the sidelines, getting peeks here and there of him patching up what looked like a stab wound in Jeff’s side

After a little while, Jack finished mending the other boy and left him to rest, walking up to you instead

“Thank you for bringing him down here.” Jack said, giving you a polite nod

You mimicked his action, nodding back to him shyly. “It’s no worries. Why wouldn’t I?” You giggled nervously

“You must be the newcomer. I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Jack. Pleasure to meet you.” Jack formally introduced himself

He stuck out a gloved hand, and you shook it cheerfully

“Nice to meet you, Jack.” You smiled, and then told him your own name

Jeff The Killer💖

Jack left you and Jeff alone, going into the other room to clean his tools. You shuffled over to the hospital bed Jeff sat on, telling him your name with a gentle smile

“Are you okay now?” You added

The killer grunted, running a pale hand over his stitched up side. You couldn’t help but admire his lean build

“I’m fine.” Jeff muttered, dropping his hoodie back over his belly

“Okay, that’s good.” You squeaked, fiddling with your hands as the air grew thick

He kept his eyes adverted from yours for a few moments, before sighing begrudgingly. “I’m Jeff... thanks for the help, kid.” He grumbled

You were no kid, but you let it slide because you could tell it was very hard for him to say. Some boys were so stubborn…

“You’re welcome, Jeff.” You cooed sweetly

Jeff looked away from you again, fighting back a blush on his deathly white face. Something in his eyes twinkled. He seemed to like the way you spoke to him. He liked to feel cared for, maybe even mothered sometimes…

Maybe having you around from now on wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world

Homicidal Liu💖

The next morning, you wandered the spooky halls of Slender Man’s mansion

“Hey,” you heard a boy say from behind you

You whipped around, half expecting BEN, only to be greeted with a new face. A new stitched up face, that was

“I heard about what you did for my brother last night. How you took him to Jack and all.” The boy trailed

“You’re Jeff’s brother?” You asked with a head tilt

He nodded, “yeah. Thanks for looking out for him.”

You gave you him your friendliest of smiles, nodding back curtly. “No worries.” You beamed

Jeff’s brother stared at you, before catching himself and quickly breaking the silence. “I’m Liu, by the way. Liu Woods.” He blurted out

“Hey there, Liu.” You giggled

Jane The Killer💖

You found Jeff downstairs, arguing with Jane The Killer. You attempted to walk past unnoticed, but she called out to you

“You’re the one that saved Jeff’s butt? The newbie?” Jane asked

You gritted your teeth before turning around, facing the two killers. “Uh, yeah. I am, I guess.” You shrugged

Jeff quickly butted in, glaring daggers into the girl. “I was fine by myself. I didn’t need any help.” He snapped at her, his pride clearly stung

Since Jane’s eyes were all black, you couldn’t tell, but she rolled them with a snarky laugh. Jeff stormed off grumbling, leaving you two as he went to sulk in his room

“My name is Jane. What’s yours?” She asked

You were so entranced by her beautiful, feminine looks. You had to give your mind a few seconds to process her question, before stammering out your own name

“I’m new.” You added lamely

Jane chuckled, thinking you were cute. “See you around, sweetie. I’d be careful if I were you.” She left her black lips ajar as she winked at you, before turning away and around a corner

Nina The Killer💖

As you entered the living room, you were practically ambushed by a certain brightly dressed girl

“Hi!” The moment Nina The Killer spotted you across the way, she was skipping over to you excitedly. “You’re the newbie, right?” She giggled

You opened your mouth to reply. “Yeah, I’m—!”

Nina interrupted you, blurting out your name in a singsong tone. “I’ve heard about you! You helped Jeff last night!” She exclaimed

Word really did catch on. Especially in this mansion filled with… what I guessed you could’ve called… ‘outcasts’

“Yeah…” you trailed

“I love your hair!” Nina squealed. (Extra points if you had your hair dyed a bright colour). “It’s really pretty!”

Your heart warmed at her sweet nature. Even though she was… clearly different. Much like Jeff, Nina had herself a cut in smile as well. Alas, you shoved down any ill feelings and gave her a bashful grin

“Thanks! I like yours too.”

[fourstarsoutofnine]

To get away.

Chapter one; out of the woods.

(Player is farore reincarnate au)

Part 2, part 3, part 3.5, part 4

A/n:(in the fashion Of that old disney blue-Ray commercial)here we goooooo! Please lmk what you think. Reader uses she/her pronouns per the poll winnings.

Warnings:feelings of dread. Talk of anxiety.

12:22 am. Swapping through the same four apps, you felt stuck in the dreaded reality you lived in. Sure, your life wasn’t bad by most means, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a looming, general sense of malaise and doom that hung over you like an ugly tapestry of unease. You hated this feeling with everything in you. It made you want to scream and run, despite not knowing what exactly it was you were running from. You supposed that was that old “fight or flight” reaction everyone talked about. You always figured that was reserved for extreme situations like a kidnapping or mugging or that sort of thing, not your usual run of the mill anxiety. Yet, here you sit with your thoughts and music playing in your ears to try to drown them out. And though the effort was valiant, it was no match for the ever-trumping anxiety and need to leave. You went to sleep that night figuring it was just another normal bad night. You prayed to who or whatever would hear for a way out. You had no idea you’d be answered.

You woke to the sun shining in your face and birds chirping awfully loud. It was odd, considering the sun was never this bright in your room and you could never hear the morning birds so clearly before. Then, something blocked the sun from reaching your face. When you opened your eyes and put your hand up to block the remainder of blinding sun from your vision, a boy faded into view. Bright blonde hair, blue shirt with a lobster, and a confused grin.

“You alright, lady???”

“What?” You respond, confused. You knew who this was. You figured it to be a dream.

“I asked if You’re Alright! We found you just laying here!” Who you knew to be the hero of the winds said and helped you sit up.

“No noticeable wounds, so that’s good.” A man knelt by you. His hair was roughly the same color, but a bit lighter. He had strange markings on his face, which you knew to be from the fierce deity mask. This was the hero of time. “Do you remember how you got here?”

“Anything you could tell us will help. Anything at all.” Another said. Pretty boy, tall in stature, slender, and what you thought to be the textbook definition of devilishly handsome. The hero of warriors, no doubt.

“I—uhm—“ you stuttered out dumbfoundedly, trying to process everything. You felt shellshocked and didn’t know what to do.

“Let’s back up away from her, she’s clearly overwhelmed…” a soft voice said, which was all too needed to your anxious ears. The hero of the skies pulled them back and you sighed, resting your elbows on your knees as the ends of your palms dug into your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself from this wild dream. This was crazy. Of course it was a welcome escape, these men were your heroes—a title they knew all too well and some carried like a burden—but they’d helped you in ways they could never know, and ways you could never tell because they weren’t real….so why are they standing in front of you, looking worried? You sighed deeply and opened your eyes. “I don’t know how I wound up here. At all… the last thing I remember is going to bed, and—then I woke up here… that’s it…”

“Strange… but oddly enough, not the strangest we’ve been through.” The hero of time helped you to your feet. “Well; looks like you’re along for the ride, stranger. What’s your name?”

“Y/n…”

“Y/n. Well, you’ll be safe with us. We’ve got ground to cover, so we should get back on track.” He led you back to the path. You were met with the sight of the other heroes of hyrule. They, however, were met with a sight that looked more like doe-eyed fear. Innocent and frightened.

The hero of twilight offered kind a kind and welcomed you into the group; as did the hero of wild, and hyrule. The hero of warriors looked at you with a smile, but it was easy to tell he was more trying to gauge your character. He was a captain, and knew all too well from the hero of the wild that often traitors to the crown disguise themselves as innocent travelers down on their luck. When he saw no sign of that he was quick to welcome you and check to see if you were alright. This, of course, left only the veteran and smith. The smith was kind, but a bit cautious of you. The veteran was cautious and indifferent. According to your story, it seemed like someone just picked you up at night and dropped you off here, which was a little sketchy if you asked him. Also filed under odd and sketchy was the marking over your hand. The triforce.

“Old man.” The veteran called. “I gotta talk to you.”

The old man looked at you, a silent ask if you were alright. Upon your offer of a nervous smile, he nodded and smiled back, walking over. You turned back to your quiet conversation between yourself, the traveler and the champion. They were asking you plenty questions on how you wound up asleep in the forest, each of which gave you no room to answer before another one arose.

“The mark on her hand.” The veteran pointed out.

“I noticed it too.”

“Is she a Zelda? She’s clearly not a Link. Not to mention, the mark is on her right and not her left hand.”

“Precisely. I don’t think she’s a Zelda, but there is something odd about this.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for anything off about it. It’d be good to tell the captain, too. He’s observant.”

“Right. I suppose we’ll talk again once we make camp tonight.” He nodded and went to the head of the group, saying something to the captain that you couldn’t hear, and waving a hand in the air that signaled the group to continue moving. This would be an interesting adventure, you determined. You couldn’t wait to see where it leads.

[jjkamochoso]

The Perfect Fit

Story Overview: Levi Ackerman begrudgingly finds himself falling in love with the Survey Corps’ seamstress. Will they be able to own up to their feelings for each other? Or is their love doomed to fail before they discover the truths of each other’s hearts? This slow burn reader insert story will be filled with angst, yearning, and a bit of mystery as we slowly unravel the truths behind Y/N’s past… and explore her and Levi’s future!

Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 linked here

Chapter 3 linked here

Levi Ackerman x female reader

Warnings: cussing, mentions of blood and pus (not graphic)

You decided it was in your best interest to listen to Levi’s advice and go see the medic to get your fingers treated. You knew they couldn’t do much for blisters but getting bandaged up, at the very least, would prevent infection and further damage. Even with the aid of your new sewing machine, you couldn’t risk your hands being out of commission since you had no other means of making money. So, before the sun rose too high in the sky, you walked to your small stable, ready to unleash your horse from her confines to take you back to the Scouts. However, when you greeted her, she didn’t look too good.

“Aww my poor thing, are you feeling alright?” you asked, petting her snout and coaxing her to eat a sugar cube, but she refused it.

She probably worked too hard yesterday dragging that cart in the heat, you thought to yourself, a frown forming on your face. You became increasingly worried when she began to cough and you knew that was a bad sign pointing to illness. Trying to stay as calm as possible, you made sure she had plenty of food and water for the time you’d be gone and after you gave her snuggles, you started the trek into the forest on foot.

As you got deeper and deeper into the woods, you realized the risk you were taking. Titan sightings had been on the rise everywhere and here you were without a horse. You couldn’t imagine them infiltrating Wall Rose, but anything was possible. If you were unlucky enough to run into one of the giant beasts, you’d be their dinner in no time. Thankfully, your place was only a 10 minute walk to the former Survey Corps HQ, but today, it felt like a lifetime. You picked up the pace, breaking into a light jog. You were so on edge the entire trip that you couldn’t appreciate the birds chirping and flying away, too fearful that it could signify something was headed your way to gobble you up. Your anxiety didn’t cease until you spotted the castle. The slightly crumbling walls never looked so beautiful to you than in that moment. Catching your breath, you straightened out your disheveled outfit. As you approached the gate to enter, you were questioned by two young soldiers who were on the lookout tower.

“Who goes there? State your name and business” one said, clearly deepening his voice in an attempt to seem older and more intimidating. His comrade, unamused, elbowed him in the stomach. They began to quarrel and any other day you would’ve found their antics endearing, but you were in a hurry.

“My name is y/n L/n, Captain Levi told me to see the medic here.” You held his note in your outstretched hand. The boys stopped bickering as the taller one came down the tower, leaving the one with the buzz cut above. The gate was opened barely enough for you to squeeze through as the boy read over your letter. Satisfied with its contents, he nodded and handed it back to you.

“Here you go, miss, the medic is-” The boy suddenly stopped, a look of realization dawning on his face. “Wait, y/n L/n? The seamstress?”

When you nodded yes, he broke out in a huge smile.

“No way! You’re a legend around here!” He yelled up to the boy on the tower. “Connie! She’s the seamstress!”

Connie smiled eagerly as he waved and shouted, “Thank you for all your work, Ms. L/n!”

You felt your heart pang with sadness. These kids were so sweet, yet you knew they had to face so many horrors in their short lifespan. You were just glad to bring them a bit of joy in an otherwise bleak existence.

“No problem, Connie!” you yelled back, giving him a wave. “Thanks for all the hard work that you do!” You let out a laugh when you saw him clutch his chest and pretend to faint. Your attention was turned back to the boy who was still next to you.

“So, you need the medic? You know where to go or can I escort you?” he asked.

“I have zero clue where to go, but is it alright that you leave your post? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Connie’s got it,” he sputtered out, but quickly returned to a more poised version of himself. “Besides, I wouldn’t want a pretty lady like you to get lost around here. Name’s Jean.”

You tried your hardest not to giggle as he led you to your destination. These kids were truly something else! You were glad they hadn’t lost their teenage “charm” to the cruelty of the life around them, but if Jean kept flirting with you, it’d be a bit awkward.

“What do you guys do for fun around here?” you asked, keeping the mood light.

“Fun? I mostly train while the other soldiers slack off. I could show you a few of my moves if you’re around after my shift at the tower is over,” Jean said, not-so-subtlety flexing his muscles. You sighed. You had to put an end to this, now.

“Hey Jean? How old do you think I am?”

He took a moment, obviously thinking hard. “You don’t look a day over 20.”

“Well, I’m flattered,” you replied, “but I’m definitely older than that. Think Captain Levi’s age.”

“Wow, that’s old!” he exclaimed, a surprised look on his face. “You’re only a few years younger than my mom.”

You weren’t sure what his response would be, but you certainly weren’t expecting that. You weren’t in the mood for conversation anymore. Luckily for the both of you, you had arrived to the infirmary and Jean begrudgingly took his leave (he wasn’t sure if you’d be able to find your way out but you finally convinced him that yes, you’d remember to make a left at the end of the hallway and walk in a straight line back to the gate you entered). Getting your fingers bandaged up felt really nice and you wondered why you didn’t do it earlier. Right, you couldn’t afford gauze. Thanking the medic for being gentle yet speedy, you hurried back toward the gate. Little did you know, a certain raven haired man was watching you like a hawk.

As you approached Jean and Connie once more, you heard a familiar voice.

“Oi! Brat!”

The three of you whipped your heads around to see Levi walking your way.

“The woman brat, not you two. Back to work,” he barked, and the boys saluted quickly, not wanting to get on his bad side.

“Where’s your horse?” he questioned you, arms crossed and scowling. Was he always so serious?

“She’s at home.” You wanted to explain yourself further but he spoke too fast.

“You mean to tell me, you what? Walked here? Tch, you’re stupider than I thought. I’m taking you home.”

You understood how he rose up the ranks to captain because he was very good at bossing people around.

“Captain!” you hurried to catch up to him since he was already almost to his horse at the stables. His legs were short but he was lightning fast!

“Captain! Please, it’s alright. I got here fine, I’ll get home okay. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble.”

“You’d cause me more trouble as potential titan food or robbery victim. Quit your whining and get on the damn horse.”

It was no use arguing with him and you needed to get home fast anyway since your client appointments were coming up soon. When you found yourself with your chest pressed against his back, legs touching, you felt your heart begin to race but you couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. Levi’s horse bucked forward a bit and you struggled to keep yourself upright, having nothing to hold onto.

“You can wrap your arms around me, you know. I don’t bite.”

“Somehow I doubt that’s true,” you muttered, hesitantly resting your arms on his apparently sculpted abdomen. Little did you know your comment coupled with your closeness caused Levi’s lips to quirk up in the smallest manner.

The horse ride to your place was quiet, neither of you in the mood for idle chitchat. It was nice to see the world from the view as a passenger on a horse for once. Usually you had to pay close attention to where you were going, but today, you felt a sort of freedom for the first time in a long time. You were the safest as you’d ever be, riding with humanity’s strongest soldier, in a quiet forest. Was this was heaven felt like? Being in the presence of nobody but the trees, a handsome man and a galloping horse?

Wait.

Did you just call Levi handsome and envision your dream life with him?

You shook your head, trying to shake those thoughts from your mind as fast as possible. You just met the man a day ago, for crying out loud, and the only reason you were catching feelings was because you were touch starved. Definitely not because he was extremely cute, was super helpful to you for no reason in the past day you’ve known him, and was eyeing you from his turned around position on the horse, wondering what the hell was wrong with you, why are you daydreaming like an idiot—

Oh yeah. You must be home.

You blinked a few times, hoping it would be enough to wipe away the sin of dreaming about a man you could never have.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. This is me.” You let go of his waist and he dismounted, waiting for you to do so as well, and he tied his horse to the pole you had in front of your house. You were confused by his action, thinking he was going to leave after dropping you off, but you didn’t mind his company so you invited him in. As you entered your house, you hoped the captain wouldn’t notice all the structural damage and rot your residence had. You didn’t think you had it in you to take any more of his criticism. You thought that too soon, however, because Levi immediately got to examining your workshop like some sort of crazed policeman scouring a crime scene for the last clue needed to solve a murder.

“Thanks for the gift, by the way. It’ll be very useful,” you said, breaking the silence and nodding to the sewing machine.

Levi rolled his eyes, temporarily pausing his inspection. “I got it for you because I didn’t want your nasty blood and pus filled blister fingers all over everyone’s clothes. And so there’s no more favoritism in whose uniform gets the best treatment, especially if that person was Hange.”

“Does that statement stand if I decide to make you the person to receive special treatment?” you teased, while Levi shot you a glare. You busied yourself with arranging the measuring tapes and other equipment needed for your clients who were bound to be there at any moment. You noticed Levi was still stalking around your workshop and he answered your unspoken question of what he was thinking about.

“This house is a mess, inside and out! It’s one titan fart away from getting blown over. How can you work in such a shithole?”

Ah, so he had noticed. You averted your gaze, not wanting to irritate him further. “Commander Erwin found this place for me and without it, I’d have nowhere to live. The Scouts are my main source of income but I take on civilian jobs for supplemental income. I’ve been saving my money to rent a house in one of the local villages or fix this place up but I… my horse is sick and she needs to see a veterinarian. I’d gladly live in this shack or worse as long as she gets the help she needs.”

“How do you determine the fee for your work?” Levi suddenly asked, “Is it by item or size of the tear?”

You tried to gauge what Levi was thinking but he wore his trademark unreadable expression.

“Both, but mostly how big the tear is. For example, a cheaper fix would be an undershirt with a small hole and something pretty expensive would be a cape with a giant hole. I usually-”

You were interrupted by Levi unclasping his cape, grasping it firmly in his hands, and ripping the fabric in one fell swoop. You stood there, dumbfounded, as he placed the mangled textile on the table next to you.

“I would like this back by tomorrow or the next day, if that’s alright.”

The captain turned to leave while you were left struggling to find your voice.

“Tomorrow evening works,” you managed to squeak. “Drop off or pick up?”

“Pick up is fine. See you around closing.” He shut the door behind him and you were left wondering—

What the hell just happened?

Chapter 3

[theminecraftbee]

I posted 23,379 times in 2022

That's 12,272 more posts than 2021!

5,012 posts created (21%)

18,367 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/gardenergulfie

@/harley-the-pancake

@/simplydm

@/bananasofthorns

@/starsandfluff

I tagged 20,218 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#from the queue - 11,399 posts

#answered - 2,886 posts

#stream liveblogging - 822 posts

#hermitcraft - 555 posts

#ask game - 354 posts

#double life spoilers - 213 posts

#hermitcraft spoilers - 196 posts

#a bee fic - 177 posts

#joe hills - 171 posts

#empires smp - 130 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i love grian’s weird contradictory ‘is immediately bound by any rules of competition and won’t break them even if they’re all in his head’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

[image ID: two pictures of joe in his daughter's homemade zombiecleo costume. /end ID]

...oh my god,

4,233 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

huge fan of how they did this 1.20 update so far. the changes really do feel like “they are doing things to make minecraft more minecraft”, just adding several small things that makes everything feel nicer is exactly what i want from an update. just… small details! huge fan of that! also a big fan of them going “we are only going to show you features that are done”. it does mean we don’t actually get to know what they’re planning until it’s about to be in a snapshot, which will be an adjustment, but it’ll prevent all the nonsense that happened around 1.19, so I’m a fan. overall, like how 1.20 is looking!

4,370 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#3

genuinely all the pairs are insane. shoutout, for example, to tango and jimmy, the single most doomed pair of people i can possibly imagine. mr. “dies with tragic futility” and mr. “dies first despite his best efforts” are on the same team AND one of them was already blown up by a creeper. i cannot imagine a more “will die first” pairing. those poor boys i’m already planning their funeral,

5,032 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#2

“Alright,” Jevin says, “now you just have to give the egg basket back.”

Grian stares at him with big, black, soulful eyes, and holds the basket closer to himself. “...give... you... the eggs...?”

Jevin closes his eyes and mentally counts to five before opening them again. “Yeah. That was the point of the game, right? Collect the eggs and then give them back to prove you’d found them.”

Grian continues to stare.

“So you hand me the basket...”

“Are... are you keeping an eye on them?” Grian asks.

“Keeping an eye on the eggs.”

“Well, it’s a dangerous world out there,” Grian says. “You never know when some maniac with TNT might show up. Probably best to just keep these in my ne- base. Keep these in my base.”

“A maniac with TNT?“ says Jevin, in a tone of voice he hopes conveys exactly who the maniac with TNT normally is on the server.

“You never know,” Grian says. “You’ve seen the eggs now. You know I found them. Really, what do you need all those eggs for? Surely you won’t miss these, right?”

Jevin sighs. “Yes, but I need the eggs to prove you didn’t cheat. You can’t win unless you turn them in.”

Grian stares blankly at Jevin, big black eyes watering as he tries to decide between winning (a thing Grian is very bad at giving up on) and, presumably, some stupid bird instinct that’s refusing to let him let go of the eggs. Jevin’s not sure which one is winning. He is sure, however, that he is slightly regretting making the egg hunt actually use eggs.

Because, he thinks wryly, it’s hardly just Grian.

“Jevin,” Doc says, landing on the platform to the egg hunt central area. Grian makes a sound somewhere between a hiss and a squawk and pulls his shulker full of carefully-padded and protected eggs closer to his chest. “I have found all of my eggs.”

“Excellent! Now, if you’ll hand them over -”

Doc is holding a shulker close to his chest. “Give you my eggs? Don’t be ridiculous.”

...the worst part, Jevin thinks, as he tries to figure out how to negotiate with a bunch of hybrids who haven’t slept in too long and therefore don’t realize they’re being irrational, is that the others are almost certainly going to insist on playing again next year. Something about optimal hiding spots. Next year, though, he swears: he’s not calling them eggs.

5,705 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

general writing advice, actually: you don’t need an excuse beyond “BUT WOULDN’T THIS BE COOL” to write something into your fic. write things in solely because they make you cackle with the delight of a 12-year-old-boy playing with his dinosaur toys. it’s fun and there’s nothing stopping you or any of us at all any longer.

20,415 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dr-ground-zero]

Crash landing

(just a lil Hawks x reader fictlet not much snz really short though. Reader has the kink) Thunder crashed and lightning flashed, you sat on your bed doom scrolling tiktok as you waited for sleep to take you. Inside was silent as a mouse while outside was coming down harshly. Your mind else where off into whatever you were listening to on tiktok when.  You hear the radio go off

“Mayday! Mayday! crashing in 10!” You jumped from your spot on the bed and you had to listen again before scrambling towards your balcony window. At first you couldn’t see it pasted the darkness of the sky and downpour of the rain but you moved just in time when you saw Keigo.

The man was coming in hot for a crash landing! You hopped aside fast as he came barreling in, landing on the bed, bouncing off, and falling onto the floor. You grimaced and winced when you heard the soft ‘thud’. You shut the balcony window and went over to your boyfriend.

“Kiego! Kiego!” You called out frantically hoping he wasn’t hurt. Thankfully he sat up rather quickly and stretched out his wings. “I’m fine babe, i’m fine!” You sighed in relief and helped him up onto his feet. You still couldn’t shake the concern though as earlier Keigo wasn’t presenting well. You could tell he wasn’t feeling well but, you couldn’t get the stubborn bird man to admit it.

“How are you feeling?” You asked, but once again Keigo said he was alright, just cold from the rain. Though you could see it in his face, he looked exhausted, his face pale, and his nose a slight red color. Looked irritated, then again Hawks was known for just abusing his nose if he didn’t care enough. “If you want i can help you dry off so it doesn’t take so long…don’t want you catching a cold.” At first, you thought he’d reject it, but he decided to surprise you. He pulls you into him and whispers in a rather stuffy voice.

“Though i’m sure you wouldn’t bmind be catching ode” You have to bite your lip to keep the flustered scream from escaping. You sputtered for a second before asking. “Do you have a cold?” He then takes your hand and places it on his cheek, leaning into your touch a little while his other arm is around your waist. Now you were really lost, what’s gotten into him?! You weren’t even mad, you’re too flustered to be mad by now. Sure enough though you do pay attention to his body temperature. “Its hard to tell which you being soaked from the rain. You feel cold to me though”

“Mmm’baby why dod’t we get id the shower?” He suggested, you could hear the smirk in his voice, and you could also hear his soft wet sniffling in your ear. Sounding like he hadn’t given his nose a decent blow in a while! “U-um s-sure” You stuttered out, then he did something you didn’t think he would do. You knew the red-winged hero’s sneezes never gave any warning, they were pretty sudden. So you didn’t expect to feel his nose buried into your chest when he sneezed.  You had no time to prepare, it just happened and boy was it a fit! His sneezes were short, but desperate sounding, and you could feel how they soaked the neck lining of your t-shirt. How his body jerked and hunched over and was practically flushed into your warm frame. While he sneezed you felt compelled to hold him. One arm draped on his shoulders rubbing small circles while the other had its hand in his hair. Your grip wasn’t tight as you didn’t want to hurt Keigo, but you needed to hold onto something! When he finished you could feel his hot breathing against your chest. He sat up and sniffled before going to rub his nose into your shoulder. “Bl-bl-bless you” You could barely say with how dazed you were from the stunt Keigo had pulled. He then chuckled softly and said. “Thank you, baby, dnow why don’t you help me feel better~?

[wittez]

looking for attention

  EPISODE ZERO.

in which we meet kozume kenma, age seventeen and in desperate need of some sleep.

( a prologue. )

  [IDOL CAMP JP] ARE YOU READY TO PRODUCE THE HOTTEST NEW BOY GROUP THIS YEAR?

[+3,672, -1,739] another season of this???? for real??? we got the point 4 seasons ago

[+2,193, -509] mf focus on last year’s winners before making a new damn group i bet they already made friends with the rats in the basement from how little promotions they get

“you look like an idiot, kuro.”

the idiot in question shoots him a wink in lieu of giving him anything resembling a real reply, the golden sunlight filling in the clubroom via the dull windows kenma’s so painstakingly tried cleaning over and over again illuminating sharp features arranged in a soft expression. “wanna help me out? i need a backup dancer for this next song,” kuroo doesn’t even bother pausing the camcorder that sits smack in the middle of the room for this intermission, a relic from an older time courtesy of a box of his sister’s forgotten belongings after moving out. if kenma mentioned it the older boy would claim he’d edit out the irrelevant footage later, but kenma’s not so sure he can trust his word on it.

“pass. i’m tired already,” says kenma, eyes remaining trained on the rpg menu displayed on his psp’s screen. now, if he was in a game, this is right about the time he’d choose the FLEE option.

unfortunately, this time it’s kuroo’s turn to act. “c’mon, bro. just one song, alright?” kenma doesn’t know why kuroo even asks in the first place; because if there’s one thing about him it’s he doesn’t accept a no for an answer. he’s persistent to a fault, really. resourceful, kuroo would correct him with the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips. irritating is the word kenma finds far more apt to describe his best friend. maybe kuroo’s trying to craft a pantomime of politeness, but after knowing him for this many years that’s more laughable than it is convincing. and he didn’t even throw in a please or thank you, so is it even that skilled of a performance to begin with?

it’s tuesday, and school’s been out for the day for a couple hours by now— it’s late enough that the rest of the dance club is long gone after a chorus of invitations to karaoke and see you tomorrows, yet judging by the sun outside it’s still early enough that kenma’s mother won’t get on his case for not being home by dinnertime. not yet, anyway. she will if kuroo keeps him here much longer, though, especially given that today’s a shogiyaki kind of day.

this is how kozume kenma caves, after a cursory glance at the time on his smartphone; when it’s not kuroo coercing him directly it’s by proxy, and in this case the impending threat of doom via his mom is enough for awkward, sore limbs to slowly struggle into an upright position. “sure, i guess.” hell hath no fury like a mother scorned, after all, and there’s little that pisses the woman off more than the sanctity of family dinners being perturbed by scheduling conflicts.

kenma pads into frame, languid footsteps leading him to kuroo’s side. if he said the blinking red light of the video camera doesn’t have stage fright seeping into the spaces between every joint of his body as though it were synovial fluid that would be about as honest as saying cows are blue, but nobody asked him and thus he won’t mention it at all.

like most things in kenma’s life, of course, that later proves to be the wrong choice.

because, a week or five after the fact, wonderful news befall upon a barely-conscious kenma on a saturday at a time far too early to be pleasant (for any species other than whatever those birds that just love chirping first thing in the day are, anyway).

LOOK SUSPICIOUS? MARK AS SPAM         (YES / NO)

FROM: tetsuroukuroo@yahoo.co.jp

SUBJECT: FWD: Your application for Idol Camp JP

ur about to be mad as hell but LOOOOOKKKKK!!!!

— ORIGINAL MESSAGE —

Congratulations, KOZUME KENMA! Your application has passed the last round of reviewing. You are now officially a contestant for this year’s season of Idol Camp JP! We are looking forward to having you.

Filming starts on January 20 of the current year. To finalize the application process, please visit our offices before the 15th of this month within business hours (…)

Kind regards,

The team of Idol Camp JP.

for the sake of being totally transparent, let’s clear one thing up right here and now: kenma never submitted that application.

kuroo did on his behalf as a complete and utter intrusion to kenma’s autonomy, where the justification of such a vile action was, in his own words, something as senseless as: “you’re crazy talented, kenma. i know you’re pretty shy, but you can’t gatekeep that from the whole world forever! besides, even just being there will be good for you. a learning experience, and whatever. you know what they say! the journey is as important as the destination, and all that.” that old saying has about as little correlation to the problem at hand as apples do to trains, and this is the part where kenma taps his phone screen with purpose to end the phone call without even bothering to gratify kuroo’s speech with a response.

on kenma’s behalf, kuroo can go to hell.

kozume kenma’s set on enjoying his breakfast, a plate of soft-boiled eggs accompanied by pickled plum and a cup of steaming hot green tea, only to then climb back in bed and, upon waking back up again, realizing the entire day thus far has merely been a nightmare with just about enough realism sprinkled in to scare him shitless. he’d text kuroo afterwards, some lazy approach to pettiness such as “you pissed me off in my dream, so i’m not going to practice this week,” or perhaps even a “when i see you next, remind me to punch you btw” if kozume’s feeling particularly feisty. if he’s lucky, he’ll get another good two or three hours of sleep…

we should keep the following in mind, however: kozume kenma is not a lucky person.

would not know the definition of the word ‘luck’ if it hit him like an uncoordinated forearm to the face or a heel with a particularly thick soled shoe digging into his metatarsals, in fact, which both had very much happened just the day prior. this is exactly why kuroo beats him to the punch, then, kenma’s smartphone all but burning a hole into his pocket with the quick succession of dings! and the nonstop vibrations all throughout the remainder of his cup of tea.

it’s not until he’s wrapped up doing the dishes that he finally sits down and checks his messages, giving the poor phone a borderline accusatory glance as though it’s the innocent electronic’s fault that kenma’s just this fucking hapless.

KURO: itll be just fine!! im gonna be there too yknow~

KURO: so ill have your back all the time! were gonna always be in teams together

KURO: ill make sure of it, so trust me!

resourceful, the word echoes in his head, the space of his cranium reverberating with the sound. if there’s one good thing about kuroo, it has to be that he always keeps his promises.

ME: ok

ME: u already signed me up anyway so

ME: might as well ig

KURO: great!! i knew youd want to give it a try kenma

KURO: im so proud of you

KURO: let’s get some extra practice in from now until the 20th, okay???

KURO: some of my friends will be there too and i don’t wanna let them win

ME: what friends…

briefly, kenma considers blocking kuroo’s number before the other gets to answer his question, far too scared of what the reply may be.

and then, he actually does it.

****

   EPISODE ONE.

enter kuroo tetsurou, the culprit of everything that’s ever gone wrong in kenma’s life.

  [IDOL CAMP JP] ALL 101 CONTESTANTS PROFILES REVEALED!

[+1,277, -243] aw, the kid with the pudding head is kinda cute… he looks like someone threatened him into getting his photo taken and all, but that’s kind of what makes him charming wwww

[+333, -115] what’s with this show? seriously, all these guys look like middle schoolers… TT

kenma stares at the wall ahead of him, crisp ice blue paint marred by an assortment of signatures and goals, realistic and borderline imaginary alike, scribbled with a dissonance of contrasting— not complementary –colored markers. if kenma was just a smidge more easily influenced perhaps their motivation and optimism would rub off on him, but he’s just not that kind of guy… he can be influenced enough to come here in the first place, that’s one thing, but there’s just no way he can be talked into having a good time while at it, not at all, because now that would just be plain ridiculous!

besides, he ponders as he paces across the room following along the length of the wall, most if not all of these are pretty basic phrases… it’s “let’s make our dreams come true!” on top of “do your best!” with a thick layer of “good luck!” laid across it all, and as narrow golden eyes give the glorified graffiti a once over the only thing of interest they can find is a particular name kanji, one they pause to wonder on its meaning for a second or two to promptly disregard the thought just about as quickly as it had come. generalized positivity seems like little more than the most superficial kind of wishful thinking, and while kenma would rather put his faith onto something more solid like his own skills (or alternatively, wish upon the downfall of the other contestants), he reasons everyone has their own ways of coping with the discomfort of being in this strange, new environment.

as for kenma himself… well, he’s still looking for it! now accepting suggestions, just text +81-xxx-xxx…

next to him, kuroo pretty much bounces in place. you’d think with such a tall frame he’d have enough place to store all that energy and then some, but unfortunately for kenma, kuroo’s a freak of nature who must be of an entirely different species from homo sapiens sapiens. “liven up a little, kenma. we’re already here, right? might as well enjoy it now!” the look kenma shoots him then is a cross between a threat of violence and intent to study him under a microscope with a 100x lens (and he can almost imagine the little spiky-haired cells he’d get out of it, too, the shameless microbes laughing at him as they swim in an ocean of methylene blue).

arms folded tightly across the taller’s wide chest betray near to nothing as he scans the aforementioned wall of dreams, but kenma knows better; it’s all hidden within high cheekbones and poorly-concealed dark undereyes adorned with bags from a bad night’s sleep, presumably from being unable to keep the excitement of what was to come the following day from letting his imagination run wild.

now, as his friend looks down at him after noticing his stare, his gaze is curious—it’s a silent question kenma isn’t sure how to answer, so in its place he only shakes his head in response. albeit lazy the movement is enough to have his hair, bleached blonde and reaching the halfway point between his chin and his shoulders, bob along with the motion. “you want me to liven up when i have to live with a hundred people in a high-stress environment.” the words are spoken flatly, oddly reminiscent of a soft drink that’s been opened and left out in the sun for a long, long time. during the summer. and if he’s being honest, that just about encapsulates how kenma feels at the thought of this being his life for the next couple months… or just a few weeks, hopefully!

kuroo just smiles down at him, all perfectly straight teeth and a promise of sincerity shoved somewhere between his central incisors. “a hundred people’s nothing you can’t handle, kenma. there’s three times that, easy, at every dance competition we’ve been to!” that does little to alleviate kenma’s anxiety, but at least he’s trying… or so kenma figures, at least.

kenma merely blinks in response, long and slow, much like a cat particularly looking forward to nap time would.

behind them, a boy who is more lanky than he is boy trots up with beads of sweat gathering up by his brow. “i’m sorry, i’m late!” he calls as kenma looks him up and down, flashy outfit blinding his eyes for a moment. the scarlet sequins don’t fit the rest of the newcomer’s colorimetry, all gray hair and pale skin with teal eyes to boot, but kenma doesn’t say that part out loud.

actually, he says nothing at all. he doesn’t have to, because this guy just starts spouting off random information like nobody’s business. and it is, in fact, not any of kenma’s business. “my name is haiba lev, it’s so nice to meet you!” he bows, a movement so clumsy he nearly collides with kuroo’s torso in the process. “i’m, like, soooo happy to be here. like, you don’t even know! my family’s already telling the whole town to vote for me, and…”

if this guy keeps talking, kenma’s brain isn’t there to hear it. it escaped through his ears a sentence or two ago, swearing it’d just take a short and well-deserved vacation for only a second…

“kozume, kuroo, haiba. all ready? you guys are up next.” the sound that booms over the loudspeakers by the ceiling leans more towards crackled static rather than a voice, enough so that kenma wouldn’t be sure of what he just heard if it weren’t for the weight of kuroo’s hand on his shoulder as an unspoken nudge of encouragement.

well, that was one short second.

it’s not until now that reality truly sets in. as anxiety infiltrates his bones kuroo’s hand only begins to feel all that much heavier, presumably due to his skeleton slowly degrading as stress chips away at every millimeter of its surface, from his phalanges to his frontal bone. “kenma?” even though he hears kuroo’s voice loud and clear, kenma chooses to ignore him in favor of pondering what his death certificate will be like. if nothing else, this shit’s gonna be a real funny cause of death! see, it’ll look a little bit like this:

NAME: KOZUME KENMA

AGE: 17

CAUSE OF DEATH: HIS BONES ERODED SO BADLY DUE TO STRESS HIS SKELETON BECAME KINDA SQUISHY AND COLLAPSED DUE TO THE WEIGHT OF THE REST OF HIS BODY. A TOTAL FUCKING LOSER, IF YOU ASK ME!

“if the kid won’t go out, you two are gonna have to go ahead without him.” now, this voice is one kenma doesn’t recognize. “not the producers will be happy about it, though. didn’t you sign a long-ass contract? i didn’t get to read all of it, but some parts of it were stone cold, man!” what is familiar to him, however, is the weight on his other shoulder— god, does kuroo want to speedrun kenma’s fall, or something? since when are hands this heavy…?

a blink, long and slow once more.

and then another one, as if just for good measure, as he tries to get himself into a headspace fit for survival. well, he’s already here. that much is an unavoidable truth he can do nothing about now that he’s already signed his soul away to the evil machine that is this god damn broadcasting corporation, other than go out there and do so fucking badly he’s expelled on sight.

ACTUALLY… THAT DOESN’T SOUND HALF BAD!

fueled by a newfound resolve kenma brushes his hair out of his eyes, tucking it behind his ears. his forearm is held out in front of him and he taps it with the opposite fist, as though trying to ensure he hasn’t effectively turned to jelly just in case.

which, truth be told, wouldn’t be all that horrible. at least then that’d get him out of this one…

and because this is real life his bones are still made of, unfortunately, bone. “ummm, sorry… i spaced out,” briefly, kenma thinks he sees concern flash across kuroo’s features. but he’s still trying to focus his gaze back on the world surrounding him in the first place, and so he doesn’t pay it much mind.

the first thing he notices after exiting the narrow hallway all three were led through, the other guy ranting and raving about whatever inane thing his mind has decided to zone in on for that specific fraction of a second, are the bright stage lights overhead. the second thing kenma sees are a hundred (and one!) chairs arranged neatly in a pyramid shape, with each step containing less and less steps. little more than half of them are already occupied by boys happily chattering away, the ones presumably guilty of defacing the poor wall he’d seen earlier, and kenma shortly entertains the thought of wanting to know whoever this nishinoya guy is because really, if a person’s handwriting is that horrendous they’re certain to be quite the character.

…

on second thought, he doesn’t want to know him.

kenma doesn’t have to think twice about it before beelining in the direction of the very last seat, made of a clear material and accented with a 101 in glittery silver numbers, kuroo’s protests of at least going for seat 50 falling upon ears that aren’t deaf—they’re simply selectively closed for the time being.

if one thing is certain, it’s that murphy’s law never fails. so, let’s see how this goes.

[hakawati93]

Hour

Every day since I started crashing at David's place, I wake up to the smell of coffee and French toasty toast. The scent of cinnamon and clove is heaven; something about it makes me happy and calm. The odd part is that no matter where I am, the sweet smell of clove and cinnamon hits my senses; My mind is consumed with thoughts of David, and for the past three months, he has been the only thing that plagues my mind. His smile and warmth cause my heart to ache, and I am always nervous around him. Not in the wrong way, but I have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be touched by him and to have all his attention. I wish to plague his mind with thoughts of me as much as I have of him. Is this love?

"Asena baby, we must go if you want lunch before I leave for work!" With that, Asena jumps out of bed, not without getting tangled in the bed sheets and falling to the ground with a loud thump.

"HELP, I'VE FALLEN AND CAN'T GET UP!" Asena shouts as she continues fighting with the sheets tangled around her ankles.

"What a site this is." Asena stops mid-duel with the sheet of doom and pout and glares at her close friend.

They're leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossing over his chest, with an amused smile. Was David, the man of the hour, amusedly smiling at her? She hated that smile because it caused her heart to flip and flop in her chest like a fish out of water.

"Instead of looking at me, you perv, how about you help me out of this thing! I swear it is alive; I can't get it off!! Also, did you make French toast without offering me some because I can smell the cinnamon and clove? If you made some and didn't save me, you suck, your mother sucks, your family sucks, and I now hate you."

"No baby, I didn't make French toast, I did make coffee, and you're probably smelling the creamer I used." David laughed as he walked over to her, squatted, and untangled sheets around her ankles.

As David untangled the sheets from Asena's ankles, she breathed in his scent, which wasn't the usual peppermint scent he wore. It was cinnamon and clove. Her eyes closed, her head fell back against the floor, and she placed her hand over her aching heart, trying to control the overwhelming feelings plaguing her mind. So many emotions hit her simply by this man's scent: happiness, peace, love possibly, excitement, nervousness, and many more that she couldn't label.

"There free as a bird; now let's go before it's too late and you start whining." David chuckled as he stood up and walked out of the room.

"I don't whine! I complain there is a difference!"

"No, no, there's not!"

Throwing on some jeans and a jacket, Asena raced out of the bedroom, through the living room, and right past David as he grabbed the keys.

"Race you to the elevator!" Asena yelled out as she ran out the front door and towards the elevator.

"That's not a good idea; the elevator has been acting right these past few days."

"I am not walking down five flights of stairs," Asena stated as she held the door to the elevator open.

"Alright, but if we get stuck, you have no one to blame but yourself."

"Blah blah blah blah, just hurry up already, old man," she teased

David shook his head with the same annoying smile and entered the elevator. With the press of a button, the elevator began its descent to the bottom, not without protest. As the elevator descended to the bottom, it began to make a clinking shrieking sound like metal scraping against one another and stopped.

"You gotta be fracking kidding me!"

"I warned you."

"I can't believe we're stuck in this thing, and you know how much I hate elevators.

"Yes, baby, I am well aware." David chuckled lightly.

"Don't do that—" Asena growled.

"Do what?" David asked as he glanced at her.

"Call me baby, and have that stupid pretty boy smile across your face." She pouted.

"Asena, baby, you make me smile even when you're angry; that is not something I can control; normal people call it happiness." he turned towards her with the annoying smile still in place.

"Don't laugh like that; just stand there and be quiet."

"Instead of pouting for an hour, why don't we talk about our previous conversation." She looked at him quizzically.

"The conversation about why you don't want to be in a relationship with me."

"Ah, I never said I didn't want to be with you; if I remember correctly, I stated that I couldn't be with you….or was it can't…either one, but I know it wasn't don't."

"Well, we have an hour before maintenance gets us out of here, so why don't you run it past me again."

"How do you know we only have an hour? Are you psychic now?"

"No, I texted Bill, and he told me it would take him an hour to get here."

"The maintenance guy's name is Bill?"

"Stop trying to change the topic."

"Fine, you want to do this now?"

"Yes, there is no better time than now, plus you can't run off and hide when you get overwhelmed and angry."

"Fine, let's do this then; I can't be with you because I am damaged, David. I am so broken that nothing is left for me to offer something more to someone else when I can't even give myself an ounce of joy. Most people remember at least one positive thing in childhood, and I have nothing. The only memory that plays on repeat is the years I spent locked away in a room so dark that the small amount of light pierced through the door cracks or couldn't reach me. An empty room that smelt like shit and pee because they didn't even bother to give me a room with a toilet. I was too evil in their eyes to have the smallest amount of compassion. Are you following me so far?"

Asena looked at her companion, and the look on his face caused her nonexistent heart to ache. Asena pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes to ease the ache. She hadn't cried in years, let alone could remember how to. Still, with just one look from David, she could feel the sting of tears breakthrough, and her throat ached.

"They tortured me for so long that eventually, I stopped feeling anything; physically and emotionally, I became numb to everything and soon gave myself to madness. With every cut into my flesh, I would laugh hysterically from the pain and cuts. I needed something to make me feel alive again or was it because I wanted them to feel small and insufficient. That no matter the amount of pain they inflicted on me, would make me break."

"I understood that part, Asena baby. I don't understand that you turn and run away from me when you feel happiness and joy."

"BECAUSE I DO NOT DESERVE IT! I am a monster; after everything I've been through and have done, why should I be granted happiness and love? I have done so many unforgivable things in the long years I have walked this earth. I have caused wars, death, and chaos…it wasn't until I met you that I realized I regretted everything I've done. You are my lost heart and the light to my ruined and blackened soul."

David clicked his tongue and walked over to Asena; he could see the tears fall from behind her hands. She had talked about her past before. The horrors Asena endured back but always spoke of it like a joke, a form of dark humor. So he pulled her hands away from her eyes and placed them on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, hoping it would calm her.

"Asena baby, look at me."

"No, I don't want to, if I look at you, I'll see all the pain written across your face, and I can't bear to see that look on you, knowing I am the one who caused it."

David took a deep breath, leaned down, and kissed Asena's left eye, then the right tasted the salty tears that fell from them.

"Baby, you are already crying." His declaration was met with silence; Asena sobbed quietly, clenching his shirt tightly in sorrow. Giving David up for a noble reason was too much for her. All Asena wanted was to keep him because he was the greatest thing to happen in her lifetime. He was her entertainment without causing pain, and she interacted with others without the need to slit their throats and play in their blood.

"You are everything I am living for," David whispered into her hair.

"If you don't listen to anything else I have to say about this matter, listen to this. Being in your life is a blessing because I prayed every night for you. I have not lived as long as you can't even try to compare my pain to yours, but our loneliness and the need to desperately seek out the one person who can be with us without change is the same. I love you and will always love you." he combed his fingers through her hair and gently pulled her head back so her beautiful, weirdly colored blue/silver eyes would look into his. At that moment, he wanted his words and the emotion in his eyes to reach her.

"Every breath, laugh, smile, and touch," he pressed his forehead.

He stared into Asena's eyes, looking for the one emotion his soul sought. "it is a blessing to me; I prayed for you. The happiness that was taken from you stands right before you, and you deserve it as much as I do because I know you also wished for me."

The elevator jolted after David's moving words, signaling that their hour was up. The elevator was fixed, and they only had seconds left before the doors opened to the first floor.

"We have a few seconds left, and we can walk out of here as a couple or as strangers because I know I can't live another second without you, and being your friend isn't enough for me." Asena wrapped her arms around David and hugged him tightly, burying her face into his chest.

"Okay, but can we eat Thai food for our first date?"

[siremasterlawrence]

Hypnoverse Of Shenanigans

Titans: Tale Of The Blue Ghost

Part 1

Hawk woke up in a crazy frenzy as the light burns on bright, the doors do his room swing open and the alarm goes off.

He jumps up and out of bed racing to the command center, swinging the chair he is in disbelief.

In to the command center he hits the main platform and dawns his Hawk costume persona and all.

“The sensors must be off I guess”

“What the fuck was that?”

“Dick? Is someone hear?.”

“Mwahahahahaha”

“Fuck you!”

“Oh I’ll be fucking you”

The sheer chills of his words sent his bones in to feverish pitch coldness then a hand invisible one at that holds him down.

“Who are you?”

“What do you want?”

“You and all The Titans”

“No get off my ass”

“Nnnnnnoooo”

“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!”

Hank blanks out completely in to pitch black darkness, long gone is that serious grim like facial expression.

He stands in front of the mirror in lust with himself, lifting his arms he licks it tasting the salty sweat persperakting from him.

“My name is Hank Hall Aka Hawk and I am a bitch for The Blue Ghost.” He say shirtless on a Instagram video. The real Hank Hall watches in horror at his hijacked body.

Part 2

Nightwing and The Titans return home to see the entire entrance open and no alarm going off.

They reroute the protocol to shut down and head up to the main floor racing on to the scene.

What they could not understand is angry, raging and wicked Hank Hall eating like a glutton and dancing like a fool.

“Hank? Are you alright?”

“Oh I’m fine babe!”

“I’m not Hank though”

“Wait! What?”

“Hijacked his body bro”

“Who on earth are you now?”

In the mirror Hank Halls image fades in to the back as hot breath over takes it and a invisible finger rolls.

In a unbelievable scene from a movie it is spelt out one letter at a time The Blue Ghost.

The team makes a move unfortunately the ending is near for all Hank no longer has the will to fight.

“I can’t move “

“I’ll end you…you…you fiend”

“How? Honestly you hero types”

“Giving up is not in our natural “

“Neither is being amicable apparently”

“Fine then, you will fall just like Hank”

He snaps his fingers as the team I scattered all over town except for Nightwing who stood up.

“You are next Nightbitch, get him Hank”

“Hank stop, fight It noooooo”

Part 3

“Release my friends asshole”

“Oh! Welcome Jason Todd”

“Dick?”

“Hey buddy! Do you want to join us?”

“Where is The Blue Ghost”

“Here, there, and everywhere”

“You sound like The Matter Hatter”

“Why are you resisting?”

“Hank?”

“We are having the time out lives “

“Plunge in to the madness”

“We love it and so will you”

“Hhhhheeeelllllpppppp! Nooooo”

“Relinquish me at once “

“Or what?”

“I’ll….I’ll”

“You will do what ?”

“Exactly!”

“You will do absolutely nothing so shut up and accept the madness “

Part 4 - 5

Inside the mansion Jason, Dick and Hank are all stripping naked and dancing to the inherently rotten music.

The room is filling up with sweat and heat overtaking their senses and they fully submit for life.

Take part in the joy and the delight of pure innocence and adult abandonment of senses.

“Be who I aim to be”

“Destroy your comrades”

“Then?”

“The world is our toy”

“I can sense is approach…he is here “

“They both are “

Connor well enough and truly has his own share of drama being a clone of two men.

“Hand it over guys”

“Hand what over?”

“It the ghost…whatever”

“In to the rabbit hole”

“What is this Alice and Wonderland?”

“You are telling me but we have to play along “

“I know, I know “

“To save them”

“For our friends “

Superboy Aka Connor El speed down to the lower levels and meets his doom in mid flight.

Beast Boy transforms in to bird soaring in his glory and then he is brought down in one foul swoop.

“Oops! The Blue Ghost rules supreme.”

The end

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to part 1 of the finale to the BackupKingdom2 saga! We’re in our final ambition now, let’s check how Liz’s post-divorce-bloodbath is going..

Oh yes, excellent. Our path to death-achievement-glory has been paved with so many executions that wherever I look I see npcs crying..

..comforting each other..

..and in Agnes' case, coming straight to Liz to.. ask for mercy for the populace I guess?? Bruh. I can't believe we even brought down AGNES, truly this is the saddest kingdom on earth. Amazing job, Liz, you've definitely earned your place in the tyrant hall of fame!

Now a lesser player would be like "oh, maybe we should chill a little on the insane tyrant thing, finish the Pirate/Noble arc cause we've been dragging this war out so the pirates/guildsmen would keep spawning and it should have ended like 20 quests ago" and true, we could just end it, we ran a very effective operation around here, shoutout to MVPs Donius and Bellinda and their 'seductive' legendary traits:

They bedded them and Liz beheaded them, the power of teamwork! So one could say that we should consider raising kingdom morale now because everyone is so depressed but I think, if anything, now is the time to ramp it up and go for some of the other morally questionable achievements! Like Machiavelli said, you should commit all your atrocities at once! What do you think, Liz? Ready to get atrocious?

-OH FUCK YEA, I’M ENRAGED, I DROPPED MY FIDDLE IN THE PIT AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SERVANT TO GET ME A NEW ONE!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME >:(

Aw I’m sorry Liz, but I’m sure you the upcoming suffering of your subjects will cheer you up!

-Ok motherfuckers, by order of the Crown aka ME -you hear that Rae?? ME, NOT YOU. God I want to execute you so bad, fucking ingrate, do you remember what rags you were wearing when I hired you??  

Let’s get this back on track, Liz.

-Right, so by order of the Crown, Magus Olivia and Spymaster Spainot are given COMPLETE LEGAL IMMUNITY to do whatever the fuck they want in the interest of earning achievements, so don’t you people come crying to me cause I don’t give one tiny chinchilla crap about your health and livelihoods. If you need me for something actually important, I'll be at the gates, executing anyone who doesn't like my fiddle playing.

-Oh man, this folksy peasant hat isn’t protecting my ears enough.

-THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR YOUR LITTLE MURMUR, DID YOU  -YOUR MAJESTY NO I ONLY MEANT MY EARS WERE COLD -WELL ALL OF YOUR BODY’S ABOUT TO BE COLD NOW! CONSTABLE, THROW THIS PEASANT IN THE PIT

-Death marker? I hardly know 'er!

So the Constable npc has this little Billy Elliot subplot going, I'm pretty sure he has the 'drunkard' fatal flaw because he was always at the tavern so I had Bellinda try to hire him to perform in one of her plays just to see what would happen and it actually worked, and now he moonlights as an actor! It's cute but it also takes forever for him to come arrest people.

-THEY LOVE ME ❤️😁 -CONSTABLE WHATSYOURNAME, COME OVER HERE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR YOU'RE NEXT FOR THE PIT

-No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, when someone dies😢

In the background you can see that Bellinda just got a pregnancy bump, it’s her lovechild with Donius, I for real can’t keep these two apart. Anyway, the time has come..

..to unleash Magus Olivia onto the populace.

-You know what, I'd rather not, this book is finally getting good and I'm sick of cursing peasants, it doesn't even drop their mood that much..

Oh no, Olivia my beloved, we're not cursing them, we're going for the 'Well Done' achievement!

-NO WAY.

WAY.

-Won't I be executed??

You have immunity! You can do whatever you want!! And, AND, once you complete it, because I know it's tiring, I'll give you a magic skeletal parrot as a gift!! Edward got all the materials for it while treasure-hunting, you'd think I'd let him keep it but that's not the kind of shop I'm running here.

-This is my face of pure, childlike happiness!

Good lord, it’s terrifying, please don’t look at me like that.

-Alright, time to roll down my sleeves so they look more sinister and do this thing.

You can do it, Olivia!

-Of course I can, save your reassurance for the flops that need it.

-I.. cast.. INFERNO!

...

-What?

I mean really, those are the words, "I cast inferno"? Can't you say something with more evil magical flair?

-Not when I have to cast it 80 fucking times I can't.

-IT BURNS, IT BURNSSSSS

Oh how the tables have turned, usually it's the witch that gets burned, huhu! Did you hear that, Olivia? Did you like my joke??

-Oh, it's beautiful!

Well it wasn't one of my best-

-Not you, you needy moron, the sight of burning flesh! I can't wait to do this 79 more times!

Alright, so everyone in the tavern has been turned into a chicken nugget, time to get some rest and check in with Spainot!

-Amazing news, Rodolfo, I just got royal permission to unlawfully lock up and interrogate whoever I want for the achievements!!!

-Darling, no offense, but aren't you a bit too shit at your job for that? -WHAT????

-FUCK YOU RODOLFO YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS -I WISH I WAS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU'D BE SUCCESSFUL AND I WOULDN'T BE MARRIED TO A BROKE LOSER

-And then he says the only reason he hasn't dumped me is he doesn't wanna be a rando npc while Batshit Liz is on an execution spree, can you believe this bullshit? How can anyone be so hurtful??

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NO PLEASE DON'T HAVE THIS CHINCHILLA MAUL ME I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

-How about you give me some marital advice, are you even listening?! Ugh.

That's right, while Olivia is inferno-ing the peasants, I've sicced Spainot on the nobility, specifically all those foreign diplomats that are always hanging in the reception hall, lagging up the place. We're going for the 100 interrogations achievement and we’ve installed a nice spiky torture chair right in the middle of the hall to save time! Now this is how we keep every stratum of society terrified enough to not realize that the person in charge is.. uh.. well you know:

-DANCE TO MY FIDDLE, PIRATE, DANCE!

-I AM!!!!!

-DANCE MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. ALL THE WAY TO THE PIT

After a couple days and several locations I feel we’re pretty close to 80 infernos!

I’d say we’ve burned a good 50-60% of the population at this point, everywhere I look I see singed townies-

-so we take this little barbecue to the palace because we’ve ran out of peasants and it’s time to start burning the foreign dignitaries. And it’s a good thing we do, because Olivia meets Nyrexis the Dragon!!!! 

Nyrexis is the human form of the dragon from a hilar quest where there’s a dragon in the kingdom and you can either befriend it or slay it, I had Bellinda befriend it:

So if you complete the befriend route of the quest, the human form of the dragon appears in town and is in love with whoever did the quest, in this case Bellinda. I am of course not about to waste Dragonfu on Bellinda’s basic ass, plus I feel Olivia is kind of a dragon with all the people she’s been burning so they have a lot in common! 

We dazzle Dragonfu with a coin trick! True magic at work.

-OMG IT WAS BEHIND MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME -I KNOW!

Good God, all of Olivia’s ‘happy’ expressions are terrifying, just don’t smile ever again, you’re too evil for it, you’re gonna scare the dragon away!

Or not!!!!

 AWWWWW 🐲❤️🔮

You know what, fuck it, let’s lock it down, when it’s right it’s right!

-Burn stuff with me forever?? -I WILL!!!!

-We are gathered here today, under threat of fiery death, to join two unholy abominations in holy matrimony. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. 

AW CONGRATS GUYS <3333 The wizard tower is so small and family un-friendly and Olivia is so unmaternal but come on, like I’m not gonna have her reproduce with a fucking dragon.

Back to Spainot, we’ve hit a slight bump, mainly that this Snordwich lord is proving fucking impossible to torture. 

-Um.. Are you enjoying this??? -Sure am, bad boy, but why don’t we take this somewhere more private already?

Wtf, stop sexually harassing the innocent person who’s torturing you! Does no one around here have any sense of humanity anymore??

-Come on, Spainot, throw some flesh-eating rodents at him! -I’M BUILDING UP TO IT, RAE, GAWD. No one likes a back-seat torturer!

-HA, who’s the loser now, Rodolfo? Rodolfo?? RODOLFO

Ya Spai I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure he left while you were interrogating, I haven’t seen him in like 3 days.

-WHAT. So Olivia completes one achievement and gets a dragon wife and a magic skeletal bird and I complete three and get dumped?!

Well what do you want from me, I don’t make the rules!

-YES YOU DO

Can we move on, please? And Olivia had a very rough go of it-

-she got burned in some rando quest and looked positively karma-stricken after, inferno-ing left and right while sporting this look! She deserves a magic bird!

Congrats on your success and 4 kids, Olivia! 

-I love this skeleton bird more than I thought it possible to ever love something.

-Gee, thanks mom. 

We had leftover bones so here, Spainot, you get a magic bird too.

-A bone parrot is little comfort when you’ve lost the only bone that matters! Why Rodolfo, whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I don’t know, probably because you challenged him to duels 3 times a day?

-No, that can’t be it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you look like a man who has nothing to live for?

-Yea, I certainly don’t.

So you wouldn’t mind like, jumping into the pit multiple times so you can get the parts we need for the hardest achievement in game aka Legendary Doomsword?

-Rodolfo had one of those too, it was legendary and now that it’s gone I’m doomed!!!

Ok ya ENOUGH metaphors about Rodolfo’s absent penis, although they really are writing themselves. We’ll get him back! If you survive all the pit jumping that is. Join us next time for part 2: Legendary Doomsword!

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Go Go Nekoma! Push it, Push it Nekoma! Coaches Chemisty (pt. 1)

Warnings: Angst, breakups, mention of virginity loss, Swearing

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI ⚠️

Word count: 6000+ (split into 3 parts)

"I'm really sorry Y/N. I just don't see this going anywhere. We are both leaving for college soon and going to different schools at that" your boyfriend of the past 2 years, Naoi Manabu said as he looked down to the ground kicking the dirt below his feet.

Your eyes watered as you drown out the words he's saying.

"B-but we can make this work. I can come see you on weekends and we can still see each other over holidays and school breaks" you plead trying to save a relationship you know is doomed.

The past weeks had been rough to say the least. Manabu had been growing distant from you. Making excuses and staying later for volleyball practice to avoid walking home with you. To say it hurt would be an understatement. It broke your heart.

"Y/N I'm sorry, I just can't do this" Manabu said as he looked up seeing tears welling in your eyes.

"I love you. Doesn't that mean anything?" You say sternly as tears roll down your cheeks.

"Y/N-" he starts saying as you place your hand in front of his face.

"No. Don't. I gave you everything. I stuck by you through it all! I stayed late to walk with you home from volleyball practice. I came to as many games as I could! I stayed up late helping you study! Fuck I gave you my virginity!" You scream.

The emotions are just too overwhelming.

"Y/N-" Manabu tries to say as you turn.

"No. I'm done. Good luck with your life Naoi" you turn away letting the tears flow as you start to jog away.

Almost on cue the sky opens up and rain pours down on your head. This is just like one of those awful romance novels. The girl gets dumped by the love of her life only for rain to continue to dampen her day. Just fucking fantastic.

This was quite literally the worst day of your life.

*8 years later*

"Y/N darling can you please water the flowers outside. I forgot to have Vee do it this morning" Your boss asks you politely with a smile.

"Of course! Let me just finish this arrangement and I'll get to watering. You can head home if you like Bella. I know your poor husband must be starving waiting for you" you giggle as Bella rolls her eyes.

"Let him die. No good worthless piece of crap. Couldn't even take the garbage out last night like I asked him too" Bella huffed as she walked over to your table.

"Stay single Y/N, trust me getting married is for the birds. Sure you meet some handsome young man and he charms his way into your life but the MINUTE he says 'I do' its all down hill from there" Bella says to you as she sternly shakes her finger.

You can't help but laugh. Bella is in her 70s and has been married to the same man for 50 years. He's really very kind and helpful in the shop when he comes and visits. Sometimes you think Bella expects too much from her husband but she's quick to shut you up.

"If you don't establish dominance Y/N, these men will walk all over you! You are young and beautiful. You don't want any man. And if you do, find one who will worship the ground you walk on. A man who will lay his coat over a pile of manure for you to walk. A man who will put your pleasure before his own" she says as she lectures you for the 10th time this week.

Bella loved you like her own daughter. Her son had moved away years ago and wasn't around much. She often invited you and Vee to have dinner with her and her husband. The dinners were entertaining to say the least. Usually ending with Bella ranting about how naive women now a days are or how shallow men are.

You enjoyed your time with Bella and her husband even if you didn't share the same sentiment as Bella did.

You hadn't been on a date in over a year. Every relationship seemed to go the same way. There was never a connection. You tried hard through college and after to find someone but always managed to come up empty.

After you graduated college, you took a high paying job in Tokyo. While you were more than qualified for the job, it provided you with little pleasure. It wasn't until you stumbled into Bella's flower shop that you found yourself truly happy.

Surrounded by beautiful flowers and arrangements. It was like heaven. You returned to Bellas weekly to get a bouquet. Soon you found yourself becoming friends with Vee and Bella. It wasn't until Bella mentioned needing help that you made the decision to quite your job and start anew. While the jobs pay was much less than you had become accustom too, your lifestyle really didn't change. You sold your suits in exchange for overhauls, shorts and t-shirts. You got accustomed to dirt below your fingers rather than finely manicure nails. Sure it was a big change but you were so much happier.

You're days were long and busy. Often starting early and closing late. You didn't have family close by, and no significant other so you often took extra shifts and offered to help so the other two ladies could enjoy their husband's.

Both ladies knew about your past dating relationships and the "one that got away" as they so ironically referred to it.

You couldn't lie to yourself. You often thought of Naoi Manabu.

What was he doing?

You were sure he had to be married by now. It had been 8 years since you had last seen him.

After you broke up, you avoided the man like the plague. It helped you only had a week before school ended and you graduated. It didn't seem like he was too worked up over your break up. You had spent far too many nights crying over him.

You felt like you had lost the love of your life.

You, in fact, had.

💐🏐💐🏐💐🏐💐🏐💐🏐💐🏐💐🏐💐🏐💐

"KENMAAAA" Coach Nekomata screams "stop running from the ball! We've been over this a million times!"

"I'd like to keep my limbs thanks" Kuzome Kenma whispers as he turns back to see Kuroo Tetsuro snickering.

"Kenma you act like you've never blocked a ball in your entire life" Kuroo teases the setter mercerously.

"Well I wouldn't have to if someone had read into the switch" Kenma glares at Kuroo who's smile drops.

"Alright that's enough" Naoi shouts as the boys return to their practice match.

He sits next to Coach Nekomata as he sighs "do you think they will be ready for nationals? We've only got a month before we leave. They've still got a long way to-"

"Naoi have faith. They will be ready. They are strong" Coach Nekomata smiles as he watches the boys continue to practice.

The game ends as the boys begin to pack up the gym.

Yaku Morisuke sighs as he finishes his stretches.

"Yaku what's got you bothered" Kuroo says as he kneels down to the team libero.

"I'm just thinking about Mai. I really like her but how do I even tell her. Confessing isn't really my strong suit" Yaku says as he rubs the back of his head.

"How about chocolates? Or maybe flowers?" Kuroo says with a smug grin "girls love flowers!"

"Tsk like you'd know Mr. Periodic Table" Kenma says non-chalantly as he walks by.

Yamamoto Taketora and Haiba Lev laugh at the rooster headed team captain as he glares at the 2nd year setter

"Are you even sure she likes short guys Yaku?" Lev laughs as the team shakes their head.

Yaku runs up to Lev kicking him straight in his back.

"Dumbass" Yamamoto shakes his head as he puts the remaining volleyballs away.

"Why don't we go check out that flower shop on the way home? What's it called like Bella's or something. It looks pretty nice" Kuroo says as he gestures to Yaku.

"Kai, you coming?" Kuroo says to his fellow third year and co-captain, Kai Nobuyuki.

"Sure I'll tag along" Kai speaks softly with a smile.

"Alright guys good practice! Remember we have practice this Saturday as well in preparation for nationals" Naoi shouts as the boys groan.

"And Kenma no skipping out. I'll have Kuroo drag you here if he has to" Naoi glares at Kenma who shakes rolls his eyes and huffs.

The boys showered and change, preparing to head to the flower shop as they wave their fellow teammates off.

Naoi boards the train heading home to his small apartment. To say things have gone to plan in his life would be an understatement. While he was doing what he loved, his love life was lacking to say the very least. He had tried numerous relationships, only to have them fail because he could never fully commit. He often found himself in a one-sided relationship where his partner would confess their love but he couldn't.

It became draining for the people he was with so he ultimately stayed single. He knew, in fact, what the problem was. The problem was that he had messed up the only relationship that mattered to him. He'd blown his chances with the only person whom he ever truly loved.

He had blown his chance with you.

When he decided to break up with you, he really thought it was for the best. He knew you had a bright future ahead of you and he couldn't help but feel like he was weighing you down. He thought it would be best to let go before it became impossible. Not that it wasn't hard to do. It broke him.

He found himself unable to date for years. You had been his first everything and you had been it. He eventually forced himself to move on. Having one night stands and short term relationships but never more. Commitment was hard when it wasn't you. He still kept the ring he had wanted to give you for your third anniversary.

Unfortunately he never got the chance to after he inevitably broke you heart. He often found himself staring at it, wondering how life would have been if he had in fact stayed with you.

By now you must be married with babies he thought to himself. It hurt to think about but he knew it would never be. You'd never be his. And he'd never be truly happy.

[lloydskywalkers]

chrysanthemum

1/2 of the fics i wrote for the 10th anniversary zine!! if you haven’t checked it out yet please do @ninjaneverquit-zine , everyone worked so hard and did such a wonderful job, i’m beyond honored to have been included <3

I may not have been in the fandom since the start, but ninjago means the world to me - it’s gotten me through some of the worst times and pushed further in writing than i thought i’d go, and the fandom’s been a particularly bright light in my life since i’ve joined 💕and of course i can’t not celebrate that by writing for the light of my life lloyd garmadon, so here’s me crying over the garmadons anniversary-style :’D

Garmadon’s son has only been on the earth for twenty-four hours, and he’s only been Lloyd for nineteen, but he already finds himself terrified of the tiny, living thing he cradles in his arms.

“He’s so small,” he tells Misako, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Is he supposed to be this small?”

Misako, who’s been answering questions similar to this for the better part of the morning, rolls her eyes. “He’s fine, Garmadon. He was born a little early, that’s all.”

Not as reassured as he should be, Garmadon returns his gaze to his son. He’s sleeping now, deathly still in his arms, and he resists the urge to wave a hand over his tiny face, if only to feel the small puffs of breath he knows must be there. He brushes a wisp of hair from his head instead, marveling at how pale it is.

“He’s got my father’s hair,” he murmurs.

“I don’t care, Garmadon, we’re still not naming him after the man.”

It’s Garmadon’s turn to roll his eyes. “I never said that. I said Montgomery was an unacceptable name to burden my son with.”

“Oh, your son.”

He misses the rest of her retort as Lloyd fidgets briefly, tiny features screwing up as he shifts. A flash of lightning from outside brightens the room, and Garmadon pulls Lloyd closer reflexively. The thunder crack follows soon after, and Garmadon flinches, the thick smell of rain filtering through the open windows. He can already see thick droplets sliding down the hydrangeas Misako’s growing in the windowsill, drowning the pale flowers. It’s been pouring all week, typhoons hitting the coast with gusto as they always do this time of year. Garmadon doesn’t like it — his son is much more suited for the sun and all its brightness, not the grey-skied downpour of thunderclouds.

Lloyd hardly reacts to the downpour, having gone still and silent in his arms once again. Garmadon’s heartbeat quickens. He shouldn’t sleep this much, should he? He doesn’t remember Wu being like that, but he was so young when Wu was born, and it was so long ago, and he can’t feel for Lloyd’s breathing now because the breeze pouring through the window’s too strong, and—

A soft hand sets on his shoulder. “Here,” Misako sighs, guiding Garmadon’s hand to rest gently over Lloyd’s chest. “Feel. That’s a heart, going strong.”

Despite his hesitance, a deep-rooted part of him still desperately afraid his touch might hurt something so small, Garmadon does so. Lloyd’s heartbeat is rapid and as fragile as a bird’s wing, but undeniably there. A small, living thing.

Something warm curls in his chest, and Garmadon thinks he might understand his father’s delight in creation — in things that live.

Not, of course, that his father has ever created anything so perfect as Lloyd, but Garmadon can credit him for having tried.

* * *

It’s weird, having a dad.

Not the concept of having a dad — Lloyd’s bragged enough about being the son of Lord Garmadon to at least get that part. But actually having him here, a living, breathing person who looks at Lloyd and cares—

It’s weird, that’s all. Not that it’s a bad weird.

“You need to wrap your hands, before you go hitting things like that,” Garmadon scolds gently, twisting gauze around Lloyd’s bruised, swollen fingers. “The others can show you how, for training. They should have shown you earlier.”

Lloyd bites his lip. He doesn’t tell his dad that the bruises are less from training, and more from pointlessly banging on bars in an attempt to get on Pythor’s nerves. It sounds silly, compared to the way his dad swept in like a big hero and took out all the snakes in single swipes.

A big hero. Lloyd wonders if the others will ever see him that way, too.

His hand twinges as the gauze pulls tight, and Lloyd sucks in a sharp breath. Garmadon flinches, drawing his hands back.

“I’m sorry,” he says, quickly. “I keep forgetting — you’re so small.”

Lloyd makes a face at that. Small? “I’m not that short,” he grumbles. “I’ve grown lots.”

“Of course you have,” Garmadon amends. “I only—”

His expression twists, and Lloyd’s stomach drops. There’s that look again.

“I’m sorry,” Garmadon repeats, sounding downtrodden.

Lloyd purses his lips. For all his bragging, he’s never really thought much about whether he likes his family or not. It’s hard, when you don’t have one around to like. Watching the way his dad worries and his uncle walks around all stone-faced now, Lloyd’s not sure he should like it. He likes Uncle Wu, of course, and he loves his dad, but—

He hates the way they all walk around like they’re preparing for a funeral. His dad’s funeral, his funeral, whichever it ends up being. It’s stupid. Lloyd’s lived on the streets for months, and in Darkley’s even longer. He wouldn’t have minded walking around like he’s doomed for misery then.

But now? When he’s got people who care, and a family?

Lloyd sets his mouth stubbornly. He doesn’t know much about destiny, or the prophecy, but he knows he’s not about to lose this. Not when he’s come so far, when he’s so close to having — to being someone worth having around.

No funerals, Lloyd promises himself. He can see this prophecy through — they both can, the two of them. You have to be alive to be a family, right?

“It’s okay,” he finally replies. “I’m alright, dad.”

And he’s gonna stay that way.

* * *

When Garmadon had thought about the final battle in the past, he’d expected the darkness. The destruction, the pain.

He hadn’t expected to survive.

“So you’re really giving up fighting, then?”

Glancing up at Lloyd, taller now yet still small enough to not quite fit his bright golden gi, Garmadon finds survival a very welcome surprise.

“Yes,” he says, returning his gaze to the flowerbeds Misako’s helped him put in the monastery garden. They’re coming along well, despite the recent fits of bad weather, and they do a fine job of making the monastery look homey. Unthreatening.

He hopes, at least.

“I think I’ve done enough fighting, for my part,” he continues. He gives Lloyd a wry look. “I’m not sure Ninjago could take much more of it from me, anyways.”

“I dunno,” Lloyd says. “It’s been getting pretty boring.”

Garmadon snorts. “Boring is something you should appreciate, son. Excitement isn’t always good.”

“No, but it isn’t bor—dull,” Lloyd mutters, crouching down to study the flowerbeds. Garmadon shakes his head in reply, sighing. He remembers being his son’s age once, yearning for the next thrill, even if it feels ages away now.

He’s got a whole lecture on appreciating the quiet moments on the tip of his tongue, too, when Lloyd speaks up again.

“We used to have these flowers at Darkley’s,” he says, tilting his head as he studies them. “Some of the boys tore them all up and threw ‘em at the window, but they were pretty before that."

Garmadon bites the inside of his cheek, his eyebrows furrowing. His expression softens as he spots the gentle way Lloyd handles the flower, carefully pushing it back to place. It never fails to baffle him how someone as gentle as Lloyd could’ve come from his beginnings, much less from Garmadon, but he treasures it.

“Snapdragons,” Garmadon says, instead. “Fitting flowers, for our family.”

Lloyd looks at him curiously, eyes bright with the light of suspicion, and Garmadon is tempted to tell him the full truth, then and there. But Lloyd is still so young, innocent and naive and barely come to terms with his place as the Green Ninja. The truth of their blood is a heavy one, and Garmadon can’t find it in himself to lay it on Lloyd’s shoulders today. No, his son is happy among humans, so a human he’ll let him be. Someday he’ll know he’s more, closer to the dragons he admires than he realizes, but not quite yet.

Miraculously, Garmadon has the time, now.

“If you stay after dinner, I can show you how they’re planted,” he offers. Lloyd nods, and Garmadon’s smile widens.

Destruction is in his blood, and he’d be blind to say it isn’t in Lloyd’s as well. Power is power, whether it’s bright and beautiful or stained in darkness, and Lloyd could shatter mountains as well as move them, if he wanted.

But Lloyd never moves to pull the flowers up, only watches them rustle slightly in the breeze, leaving them to grow a little bigger, a little brighter. Garmadon, for his part, watches his son, all bright eyes and the burnished gold hair of his grandfather, and reminds himself that one needs not be a master of creation to appreciate life.

* * *

Lloyd likes to think of himself as an optimist, for the most part. He’s at least good at pretending that he is one, with how many times he’s had to convince himself it’s worth it to get back up.

Right now, he’s trying to remember how he’s ever managed to convince himself, because this time, getting back up seems impossible.

Lloyd used to wonder, back during Morro, how far you had to push yourself to break like that. How far someone had to push you, to truly splinter. He thinks he might have found his answer, though his is less of a bitter hatred and more of an empty abyss of hurt.

It hurts to breathe. That would be a sign that something’s wrong, if Lloyd didn’t already have about sixty other signs that he’s in trouble. But the breathing thing is sticking out to him especially, right now. His lungs feel like they’re scraping against his ribs every time he tries to draw breath, bruised and stinging, and there’s a deep ache in his chest that grows worse by the minute.

He tries swallowing again, sand scraping down his throat as he does. He hisses out a breath instead of coughing, almost frightened that his lungs will give out completely if he does.

He says almost, because Lloyd isn’t sure what emotions he’s got left to feel anymore.

A lie. Pain starts numb, sometimes.

Lloyd’s chest spasms as he sucks in another breath, and he wishes the desert would swallow him whole. His father — his real father, who pushed him from the Cursed Realm and told him to return to light and living — would want him to stand back up. He’d beg him to, stress the importance of continuing on, of persevering. Stuff like that.

But if it wasn’t for his father, Lloyd wouldn’t have to get back up in the first place. If it wasn’t for his father, Lloyd wouldn’t be—

His eyes burn, stinging as he squeezes them tightly shut, and he tells himself it’s the sand.

Instead, he focuses on the ragged beat of his heart. He only knows it’s there because his chest throbs in pain with every pulse, but he latches onto the feeling and holds tight.

Still alive, he tells himself, even as every bit of him sings in agony and his lungs scream at him to stop. He’s still alive. His powers aren’t answering him but they will, he knows they will, he can’t disappear like he did with Morro. He can’t — he can’t leave it, not like this, not with his father — not like this. If he can’t stop Harumi, if he can’t save his father, if he can’t do anything else at all, he can at least do this.

Stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive.

He’s never realized how long the nights out here are, before.

* * *

After everything, the light dies down and the Oni vanish, and Lloyd’s heart stops.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to Garmadon, who isn’t even sure his own heart beats now, but it is.

It’s not supposed to stop. There was a promise made, somewhere, to keep it beating.

It restarts before he has the chance to process what that even means, and the swell of relief is so foreign, Garmadon leaves before he even has the chance to ask Lloyd what he’d seen. He thinks to himself, that will be the end of it. The end of whatever tentative connection he has with the boy, whatever frayed and tattered threads of something they once had. Better to cut them away for good.

Lloyd’s not one to let things die, though. Garmadon should know that at least, the boy tells him.

“I know you like repeating yourself,” he mutters. “Letting go is different.”

“That’s not what this is,” Lloyd huffs back.

Garmadon rolls his eyes, the two of them drifting aimlessly down the Ninjago City garden paths. It’s secluded, the rest of the city still recovering, and Garmadon’s grateful for the quiet, even if it is awkward. Building any kind of bridge with the boy is difficult, if only because Lloyd stresses that they’re rebuilding a bridge, and Garmadon has no memory of any bridge to begin with.

He’s still sifting through jumbled emotions, sorting out what his place in this world was and is supposed to be, but he knows that the word son slips easier from his mouth than daughter ever did, so he figures he’s on the right path, at least.

“It’s about—” Lloyd pauses, his expression contorting. “It’s about surviving, I guess,” he grinds out.

Garmadon’s mouth curls into a grin. “Really. You were quite…vocal, that it was about more than that.”

“It is, it’s just—” Lloyd cuts off again, stopping them in a half-ruined section of garden still littered with remnants of concrete. “It’s the payoff, you know? Here.”

He bends down, brushing dust from a surviving scattering of flowers. He gently touches the edge of a petal, pushing the flower head toward the sun. “See?” he says. “After all that, it’s still alive.”

Garmadon stares at the delicate edges of the petal, smaller and more fragile than any of the buildings that crumbled beneath his rule. At Lloyd’s nod, he stretches his own fingers out toward it, his hand impossibly dark and calloused next to his son’s own small one. But he brushes his fingers over the petal edge nonetheless, almost surprised that it doesn’t decay beneath his touch. It’s soft, he notes, like the fragile skin of a newborn. Odd that it should’ve survived, out of everything else that perished.

“So it is,” he says, carefully. Lloyd says nothing, but there’s a ghost of a smile around his lips. They must make an odd sight, the pair of them crouched in the dirt in the recovering garden. There’s no use in sitting here and looking at the flower, no explanation Garmadon can offer himself, but he doesn’t leave. He can take the moment, he decides, to appreciate what Lloyd is trying to show him.

They too, after all, are still alive.

[tsuki-sennin]

Don! Don! Donbrothers~! Don! Don! Donbura going~! Don! Don! Don Brothers~!

Don Don Don Don Don Don! Yeeah~!

What's this sorry state for, eh!? It's the second ever of what I'm callin' Momo Monday~! Break out your finest peach sake and find a fine-ass honey or fella to party with! Maybe one or more of each or either, or hit the dance floor with friends instead! Nobody's getting left out today! Don don! Matsuri! Matsuri da~! Hahahahahahahahaha~!

Oh, and uh... Spoilers, I guess...

-Hmm... this recap's definitely not as snappy as Setchan's.

-Yo, boss!

-Don Kaito gives no fucks.

-ihjhjjhgklg YES

-Zenryoku Zenkai!

-Hey, that phrase is as good as "I swear on my mother's life!", or "Ikki ni ikuze!" or "My grandmother once said...", you better put some respect on that phrase, Don Kaito! Speaking of which, I can't believe Cure Precious Yui Nagomi is the second coming of Souji Tendou. She's even cooking like he does, that's honestly insane to me. That's some Deliciousmile homaging right there.

-Anyways, Haruka is a good girl, she didn't do no plagiarism. ...at least, I assume.

-Man, the flow of the theme is sick.

-Oh yeah~!

-TAROU NO

-Oh! He's safe now!

-Awwwww, Tsuyoshi-san... :(

-I've dislocated a knee before, so I feel that insane pain.

-He's just... some guy.

-Wife man :)

-Awww, power of love :)

-Alright, lunch~!

-OH GOD NOT JANKEN AGAIN

-Ah, so Tarou plays his cards

-GILF Energy.

-You look fantastic for your age, Sanae-san!

-Oh c'mon, we're doing our best!

-Dude, you're trying to dine and dash, not cool.

-Oh wow... that's actually pretty great, not gonna lie. You must be that famous Shinichi Saruhara I've heard about.

-And I guess if Don Kaito's fine with it...

-Isono Sanae~!

-OOF

-Is that a goddamn train

-Doggo appears!

-GET HIS ASS

-Gotta hide.

-Rashonomiya Intersection, 3 o'clock.

-Oh, she's gone mad!

-Wow, these victims... are a lot less wacky feeling than

-I wonder... if Tarou's unable to lie, does that mean he can see through the Hitotsu-ki's lies?

-Train, Oni...

-We gotsa fight!

-Go, Haruka-chan! Fight Oni with Oni!

-Sonoi's cold-blooded as hell, goddamn.

-Oh look, it's Kagestar Guy! Sono... Sonoza, yes?

-Ah, yep!

-Well crap, we're doomed.

-BIRD!

-Leggy leggy.

-Dog!

-Wan wan!

-Alright, now we're up!

-Ryu So Cool~!

-Don't fight it man! Embrace the crossdress! We have like... 45 years worth of pink in our backlog. Asuna would be proud of such a sweet guy wearing her uniform!

-Oh hey, it's Don Momotaro! You can bow now, Haruka!

-What

-WHY IS HE SO SMOL

-Ora ora?

-I love the thought of these super serious assholes getting clowned on this hard, it's just... inherently funny.

-OH GOD YOU'RE CHOKING HER

-Moooooomotaro Zan! Momotaro Zan~!

-Don Don! Donbrothers!

-Oh god, Oni, Momotaro, Train... Looks like Donbrothers x Den-O was just foreshadowing for the second episode.

-...well, if it gets all the obvious stuff out of the way first and foremost, I guess I'm all for it!

-So, Zyuran Tyranno... I know it's just an alternate Zyuran, but

-DON'T SIT ON THE CONTROLS-

-Man, this CG honestly kinda fucks.

-So, what the heck happened

-68 and like a billion yen!

-Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I GET IT NOW. The monsters are themed after past Sentai. Sanae-san wanted to look younger, so she chose probably one of the more... kiddie Sentai seasons. And as a sort of inversion, she wanted to be an old woman in a younger gal's body, rather than being a kid in a grown up's body. Takes a lot of... Imagination, if you don't mind me saying. And Yoppy from last episode wanted to be the best, so he artificially emulated the Ryusoulger's strength and became a

-That funny red guy is absolutely Momoi Tarou. Sorry about that, Haruka-san.

-I know what your game is, Don Kaito. Or should I say... GOD? Yeah, I'm onto you! I can predict plot points in shows made for young children. Whaddup?

-Oh boy, Professor Monke's next episode!

-Yeah, this show slaps. I'm gonna love it a lot.

[glazebowstuffz]

New brother?

Ok, this is a little au idea that I wanted to do with the SBI! It's the dsmp but everyone is younger... along with some giants. I don't know if anyone has made this au or not but here we go! For now, this story is the meetup with Wilbur and giant boi Tommy but younger (Maybe Toddler or child age? Like under 10 years at least). We'll see this through the eyes of Wilbur (pov) but still 3rd person. Hope you enjoy it!

It was a normally peaceful day like any other, the birds were singing, the bees dancing to each flower, the 3 boys (Dream, George, Sapnap) chasing Wilbur through the forest. Yup, a normal day. As Wilbur dodges the trees trying to escape the other boys in the forest, Dream seems to be right on his tail never losing site of Wilbur. If only his brother, Techno, was here he'd fight Dream which would make his escape much easier but atlas, he was with Phil gathering more food for dinner.

Still running deeper into the woods Wilbur trips over a tree root and falls face-first into the dirt. Dream puts his foot on his back so he wasn't able to escape again. "No where to hind now, Wilbur, and no brother to save you. Just give back our items and we'll let you go." Dream told him as he waited for George and Sapnap to catch up. Wilbur tries moving free from his foot but no avail. Dream's pressure on his back wasn't going to release until he gave them the stuff he took borrow.

"Can't we just talk about this? C'mon there's no need for this treatment! Just let me sit up and I'll give yer stuff!" Just as Wilbur told him, Dream removes his foot and lets Wilbur sit on the ground. He starts handing Dream the stuff that he took borrow like their iron weapons, health potions, and cooked food. "There that's all of your junk... will you let me go now?"

Dream looks back at his friends which they both seem to be nodding in a agreement. "Yeah, your off the hook but if this happens again then I'm just going to have to tell Philza!" Both George and Sapnap giggle at his statement. Remembering the last time he got in trouble with Phil was him stealing gapples from Sam. Phil grounded him for 4 weeks and he had to do all of his and Techno's chores with it as punishment. He didn't want that happening again.

All 3 boys laugh at him but suddenly they felt the ground shake which stopped the laughter. "Did you guys felt that too?" George asked grabbing a hold of Dream's arm.

"Maybe an Earthquake?" Sapnap reply looking around the forest. Earthquakes usually last a bit longer but this shake felt like something big was headed their way. "Hey Dream? Isn't this the forest that both of our parents warned us not to play in?"

"I think it is... also... RUN!" All 3 boys start panically running back from were they came leaving Wilbur behind. The forest that their parents warned them about was known to hold monsterous man eating giants. Phil had told both him and Techno to never step foot into the forest or the giants will eat them with no mercy or guilt.

In also a panic state Wilbur quickly gets off the forest floor and follows the boys lead. "Guys! Wait for me!!" Though he has no idea which way is out and the others are long gone. He felt the ground shake more and knew this giant was getting closer. Wilbur didn't stop running but with his luck he trips on another root and lands on the ground again. He tries to get off the ground but he then sees a large hand coming towards him. He stops in terror knowing there is no way of escape. The hand grabs a hole of him, not pressing to much that it hurts him but just enough that he wouldn't fall. Wilbur holds onto the hand, not that he has really much of a choice.

Wilbur's mind was racing he was never going to prank his friends or anybody again, he was never going to eat Niki's delicious sweets again, never going to bother Techno again, and never going to see Dadza again. Wilbur closes his eyes waiting for his undeniable doom... but it never came. He opens his eyes and is face to face with the giant. His blond messy hair on his face but still showing his blue eyes and poor clothing being ripped in some areas along with baby socks?

The giant smiles at Wilbur. "Hewwo." The giant softly spoke. Wilbur wasn't sure how to respond but gave a small wave back at him but quickly holding on to the large hand. This only made the giant giggle. "You awe so small!" He raises his other hand and softly pets his floofy hair.

"Aren't... Aren't you going to ea- eat me?" Wilbur ask trying to hold on to the giant's fingers for dear life. The giant looks at him confused and stops petting him.

"Eat? Oh! Fwod! Apples and bewries!" The giant seems proud of himself with telling Wilbur the difference foods that he eats. Still confused Wilbur starts putting two and two together and realize that this giant is a small child. He was being held by a child, a giant child who probably has never even seen a human before. Soon a few crows fly behind the giant child scarring him. "Ahh! Nooo! Bad!" The child drops Wilbur into a bush and crouches down next to a tree holding his head slightly crying.

Thanks to the bush that broke Wilbur's falls he was free to escape and run home to everyone but he didn't. Not knowing why this child made him feel some sort of sympathy. He walks closer to the child hearing soft cries for both of his parents. "Hey, there big man... it's alright. No need to cry. It was only a few silly old birds. They can't hurt you. Not while Wilburs' here!" Wilbur said in a soothing manner. Even if he wasn't good with kids this one was different and not just because he's a giant.

The child looks up at him with tears in his eyes. "There. There. Nothing can hurt you, big man! You're strong and brave, right?" The child nods wiping away some tears. "There you go. See! You're going to be just fine- uh... do you have a name?" The child shake his head. "What!? You're telling me don't have a name? Did you're parents not name you?" The child looks down upset. Wilbur looks at him confused waiting for an answer.

"Mum and dad awe gone. They left me alwon..." small tears start to form in his eyes again. Shocked Wilbur goes closer to him and starts rubbing his shoulder. He didn't realize that this kid was all alone and without a family. Something took over Wilbur, he wanted to protect this child at all costs even if he was twice his size.

"No more sad tears, Tommy! Cheer up! I'm going to be you're new big brother now!" Wilbur states. The child look up at him suprirse by the name.

"Tommy?" Wilbur starts to blush from embarrassed. He didn't realize that he just shouted a random name out of nowhere, especially the name Tommy.

"Eh, sorry. I didn't mean to-" He was cut off by the child pulling him into a big warm hug. He even hugged back.

"I lowve it! Tommy! And my big brother, Wilby!" Wilbur couldn't help but to let out a lil aww. But there was just one problem... a huge one at fact. How on Earth is he going to explain this to Dadza?