#She's so.... Like she thinks because we are adults we're supposed to treat it like it's any other day.

[iero]

Got to tell my mom what I've wanted to tell her for years because I've noticed it: The fact that she barely acknowledges ANY of her kids birthdays anymore and now she's mad at me, but fuck, did that feel good.

[unreliablesnake]

Not on my watch (Ghost x reader)

Summary: Soap finds out Ghost is dating his little sister.

Warning: mention of miscarriage, age gap

“No,” Soap said sternly as his eyes moved from the lieutenant to you. “Don't even think about it.”

“Johnny, I–”

“No, LT, there's nothing you can say that would change my mind. She's my little sister! I've been sheltering her from assholes and people like us from the beginning.”

Ghost let out a groan as he buried his hand into his hair and grabbed a fistful of it. “Come on, she's an adult. She can decide who she wants to date,” he tried. 

“Have you stopped to consider how much younger she is? Hmm?” Soap began as he poked his superior’s chest. “Because I can assure you our parents would be against it too. Imagine the scandal if they or anyone we know found out.”

And while Ghost was losing hope of having a proper conversation with the Scotsman, you seemed pretty confident that you could win this debate. “They love me, they wouldn’t object. They only have issues with your girlfriends because they’re usually–”

“You'd better not finish that sentence, lassie,” Soap warned her with a raised finger. 

“Just saying,” you told him with your hands held up.

“Can't we discuss this like adults? Please, just try to consider supporting us. I love her, we've been through hell already, I won't break her heart,” Ghost tried, feeling a sudden wave of guilt pass through him when he felt you tightly wrap your fingers around his hand.

Soap didn't miss any words, he immediately picked up on a hint. “What does that supposed to mean? What hell have you been through?” he asked.

Before Ghost could answer, you put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Don't,” was all you said.

But Soap was like a dog that didn't wanna let go of the bone he got. “I'm gonna ask again. What are you talking about?”

“She was pregnant,” Ghost suddenly announced, causing you to let go of his hand and begin to pace the room. He knew he shouldn't have said that, but he had enough of games. “We wanted to keep it, but she had a miscarriage.”

The sergeant suddenly understood everything that had happened in the past months. “Is that why you were so mad at everyone for a while?” he asked you, earning a cautious nod in response. “Fuck me.” He ran a hand through his mohawk as he took a few steps back. “Mom and Dad can't find out. Ever. And if anyone asks–”

“I don't need you to control my life, Johnny! I'm not a kid anymore,” you reminded him. “Just accept we're together and don't sabotage our relationship. That's all I'm asking for.”

Instead of speaking up, Soap walked over to you and pulled you into a hug. He knew you were right, it was probably time for him to treat you like an adult. And as for Ghost, he would be a hypocrite if he said he had never laid his eyes on younger women before. Because he did, and he also knew how persuasive you could be if you wanted something.

“If you end up breaking her heart anyway, I might shoot you on the field by accident,” he warned the lieutenant over your shoulder.

[akiizayoi4869]

I don't understand why people make excuses for Ursa. It is true that she got into a bad situation with a bad husband. That doesn't excuse her. She is still a bad mother to both Azula and Zuko. Her actions in the comic led Ozai to deliberately start treating Zuko worse. Ursa decided to hide behind the baby just to see if the pet tyrant was reading her mail. She just took advantage of the child for her own gain. Just like Ozai. Ursa's favouritism was bad for Zuko and distanced him from his sister. Ursa's indifference led Azula to Ozai

They make excuses for Ursa because she was in an abusive/arranged marriage, and they think that she had zero agency or control over anything. Which isn't entirely true. Because if that was the case? Her relationship with Zuko wouldn't have been what it was. She could still make choices in how she raised her children. And sadly a lot of her choices weren't great. Like you and plenty of other people have said, anon, her favoritism towards Zuko screwed up Azula. It also didn't do any favors for Zuko either. You aren't supposed to favor one kid over the other one, I don't care how "difficult" you think the other child is. And it's crazy because we see how favoritism is like a curse in this family. We are told by the narrative that playing favorites with your children is a bad thing (unless you favor Zuko apparently, then it's all fine and dandy🙄) and that you shouldn't do it. But you see what I just said in the parenthesis? That's where the problem is. We're shown/told that the favoritism is wrong.....unless the favoritism is towards Zuko. Both Ursa and Iroh, two adults that were considered "good" in comparison to Ozai, favored Zuko over Azula. And this is shown not as a bad thing, but as somethings that's fine and accepted because he is the "good" child, and that he acted in the perfect way an abuse victim is supposed to act in society's eyes, while Azula wasn't. Therefore she wasn't deserving of anyone's love like Zuko. Which is an extremely fucked up thing to do to a child who had no control in anything. I mean seriously, the fact that Ursa had Azula thinking this?

100% shows that she was a bad parent, plain and simple. Like I'm sorry but if the impression that I gave my child is that I feared them and thought that they were a monster, I'm not patting myself on the back and accepting the mother of the year award. Being in an abusive marriage does not absolve you from doing shitty things to other people, and I'm so tired of this fandom acting like it does. What I find to be so ironic about this though, is that these are the same people who, when we point out that Azula is a victim of abuse and that's why she is the way that she is in the show, they'll say "so what, that still doesn't excuse her. She could have changed but she chose not to." Say this to them about Zuko and Ursa though, and suddenly they start singing a different tune. Funny how that works.

[thishazbinamistake]

In my opinion, Loona is a character with some of the most wasted potential in Helluva Boss.

Though we don't have a ton of information about her background, we do know she lived in a shelter for much (or maybe even all) of her childhood. Loona is cold and distant to her adoptive father, and outright rude to many others, particularly Moxxie, who she constantly mocks and belittles. I'm thinking that this behavior is either a result of her upbringing, or perhaps it was even the reason she was put into the shelter to begin with. But until more is revealed about her past, I want to complain about the way she's currently written.

Loona is abusive, plain and simple. The way she treats Blitz, her adoptive father, goes way past simple angsty teenage rebellion and well into the abuse territory. Any semblance of Loona being remotely sympathetic was thrown out the window in Seeing Stars, when she kicks Blitz in the groin, all because he was relieved to see her and wanted to give her a hug. And all of that after she gives Octavia the "cut your dad some slack" speech.

I've seen people try and defend this behavior by pointing out that Loona has childhood trauma, and this is why she has these behavioral issues. It's certainly not unheard of for victims of childhood abuse/neglect to have anger issues and poor emotional regulation, and I would have absolutely no problem with this being the case if it was shown to actually be a problem, but it isn't. Not once does Loona get called out for her behavior or face any sort of consequence for treating others poorly. If anything, this abusive behavior is treated as a joke more often than not.

It's extremely ironic that one of the most despised characters in Helluva Boss, Stella, receives so much hate for being abusive towards Stolas, when we've seen Loona do far worse to Blitz. I honestly cannot think of a logical reason as to why we're supposed to like Loona, while also hating Stella. We see Stella nearly hit Stolas and it's (rightfully) treated as being abusive. But when Loona is constantly beating up her dad for no good reason, we're just supposed to laugh? It seems extremely hypocritical on both the writers' part, as well as many of the fans'. I honestly can't tell if the writers genuinely think this behavior is okay (when it's coming from Loona) or if they just see it as a quirky character trait of hers.

If we're supposed to find Loona likeable, which we clearly are, then the writers seriously need to start making some changes. I'm not saying they should just completely retcon Loona's character and suddenly make her nice, but they do need to start being consistant with how they portray abuse, and they seriously need to stop excusing and coddling her horrible behavior, regardless of if she has childhood trauma. That is not how you grow as a person and overcome your issues. Yes, it's a process that is often long and difficult, but it hasn't been shown that Loona is actually trying to make any change at all, or that anyone is actually encouraging her to change.

If you want an actually halfway decent example of a character overcoming their trauma (at least within the Hellaverse) look no further than Blitz himself. It's clear his father was abusive and explotative towards him, not to mention he accidentally caused the death of his mother and the maiming of his close friend. Both of these things likely contributed to many of Blitz's flaws and issues as an adult. But the thing is, despite all that, Blitz himself isn't abusive to his daughter. He has shown nothing but unconditional love and devotion to his daughter despite his past. I'm not saying Blitz is a perfect character by any means (I won't excuse him literally threatening to rape his employees), but it really goes to show this whole argument of 'Loona acts the way she does because she has childhood trauma and that makes it okay' doesn't hold up to scrutiny as much as her stans seem to think.

I think a good idea would be to start showing more of how Loona's behavior negatively affects those around her, something which would give her the motivation to want to change. Show how hurt Blitz feels whenever Loona lashes out at him. We get a taste of this in Spring Broken when she hurts Blitz's feelings, but it's clear from both her dialogue in the scene as well as her later actions that the writers apparently don't want her to actually learn from her mistakes and grow as a character, which is such a shame.

Loona had the opportunity to be an extremely complex and compelling character if her aggression and violent outbursts were actually addressed as being a problem she needed to overcome, and if she actually tried changing herself for the better. Seeing the effort she puts into treating others better and breaking the cycle of abuse would have made her character feel so much stronger and more likeable. But instead, the show just treats this abusive behavior as a quirky, edgy joke and "lol that's just classic Loona!! What can ya do lol!!!"

She does have her moments where a good character actually shines through, but they're so few and far in between. I want to like Loona so much, but as it currently stands, I just can't, and that makes me sad.

[iamyouknow-yours]

Marcel is a Mikaelson. He does not have to call himself a Mikaelson as he is fully within his rights to denounce the very toxic family but he is one.

I hate the way the show treated him, I hate the way the characters treated him, and I hate that he is involved with Rebekah. I hate the way he and Hope are only kinda sorta siblings.

1. The show:

So we know Julie Plec is very much a white liberal. We know this. We know she has sexism issues, we know she has racism issues (black women will save us all, really Julie????). I don't know which of her multitude of biases made her (and the rest of the writers) think that the way they wrote Marcel and the Mikaelson's relationships with him, was normal (or like normal in the context of the show). But boy howdy.

The plantation house. We're just going to have the Mikaelsons move into the house where Marcel was owned as a slave????? That's what we're gonna do?????? And where his abusive biological father lived and y'know, abused him. Fucking what the fuck?? I feel like this just epitomises the way the show treats Marcel.

2. The characters:

The family never treats him as part of the family unless they want something from him.

They did not raise him as a son and it is weird and terrible and he was a child!!!!! Why did you adopt him if you didn't want a child???

Why is Klaus so scared of having Hope if he's already had a child?

Why does Klaus treat Marcel the exact same way Mikael treated him just because they're not blood related?? (if they actually explored this it could have been interesting but no they just only half treat Marcel as a Mikaelson).

YOU'RE TELLING ME THEY DIDN'T CHECK?? THEY DIDN'T CHECK HE WAS DEAD????? Not once in the 80+ years did Klaus or Elijah go back to New Orleans or even send someone to fucking check that his SON was really dead??? Didn't think to do that???? No???

3. Rebekah:

Oh my god what do I even say about Rebekah?

They could have at least made her be daggered for the time when he was a child and only meet him when he was already an adult and a vampire because that way she's only technically his aunt and not a full fucking adult who saw him grow up!!!!!!!!

Hope:

Idk man, they were siblings. Let them be siblings. The whole thing in Legacies where the Mikaelsons just kind of left Hope alone? Weird. Bonkers. Batshit. I know it's because they couldn't get the actors but maybe think about that before writing your fucking show my guy.

Or in TO where Hope was just left alone and Klaus was not there as a dad for like 5(?) years.

Hayley was the only good parent on The Originals or Legacies canon, fight me.

(side note, you're telling me Caroline would leave Alaric, Alaric, an alcoholic, vampire-hating, weirdo (Caroline and Alaric being romantically involved briefly WAS WEIRD GUYS, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HE USED TO BE HER FUCKING TEACHER) in charge of the school for supernatural children??

You're telling me she left him in charge of parenting Lizzie and Josie?? Yeah okay sure.

And look how well that turned out. Locking teenagers in goddamn prison worlds, excellent headmastering there Alaric well done. And just swell parenting of the twins. Favouring Hope over them at all times and letting them bully each other weirdly for years and allowing your mentally ill children to just get more mentally ill from your parenting. Great moves. Very good.

Okay Legacies rant over)

Yeah okay my whole rant is over I think.

TL;DR: Marcel deserved better.

(and so did the kids on Legacies.)

Also PSA, the only reason I have so many feelings about this is because I like the freaking shows okay? I like the characters (except Alaric and Damon and the ones we're supposed to dislike like Mikael and Esther).

[theweeklydiscourse]

I think one of my biggest grievances with ACOTAR is how the family dynamics is written and how the author offers no explanation at all, just expects the readers to move on. Feyre's father not even acknowledging the existence of the youngest daughter who was keeping them all alive, nesta's general cold indifference to feyre's life and an obvious preference for elain (we honestly don't see any prove of that aside from some words, typical of sjm) should've been explained by now yet we still don't get an answer for any of it and if we do the books as well as the fandom gaslights you into thinking you're just "hating" "move on" or "feyre forgave so it's okay" like idc about forgiveness I just need answers! I think the readers totally deserve to know why the main freaking character was treated in such an abusive way as by her family when their treatment of her is what shapes her and her falling for the first man who took care of her, a direct consequence of their treatment. Your MC's backstory is too important to just brush off like that.

Nesta's strained relationship with Feyre was such a huge part of her character like she was almost defined by that so it absolutely boggles my mind that she and feyre don't have a single meaningful conversation that gives the readers some answers and of nothing else then a resolution (kind of what we got in book 1 before sjm destroyed it). I feel like it's the lack of resolution between the sisters Nesta & Feyre in particular, that has made the fandom so divided.

But their relationship isn't the only such thing, SJM has a habit of mentioning things that absolutely should matter and then forgetting about them just because wasn't feeling like it. For instance: the weird triangle between Cassian/Mor/Azriel, how Cassian was pissed that Mor never went back to him after one time and her telling him to not "be her keeper" in acomaf (or was it acowar?) none of it is ever explained. As soon as Cassian as a new shiny mate all is forgotten and we're all supposed to move on to without getting any proper answers. It's so frustrating to read a book like that yk. No wonder the fandom is ready to implode.

It’s not just a lack of resolutions because there are resolutions to the emotional conflicts between the Archerons, the issue is that Maas consistently rescinds the development that occurs throughout the story to instead write indulgent and gratuitous retreads of emotional beats that already happened.

But the true issue at hand here, is that it just doesn’t make any sense.

Sure, if we take the family dynamic in ACOTAR at face value then yes, it’s horrendous for Feyre who is essentially running herself ragged to support a family of spoiled and ungrateful individuals. Taking it at face value would mean accepting the plausibility of Feyre, a young illiterate amateur huntress, supporting 3 other adults for 5-8 years with her efforts alone. But I don’t believe that scenario to be plausible, and Maas does not do a good job of convincing me that the Archeron family dynamic is believable.

The family dynamic is manufactured for the deliberate purpose of serving ACOTAR's wish-fulfillment narrative. Feyre's suffering is supposed to be indulgent and gratuitous because it makes the eventual reward of luxury and power in Prythian that much sweeter. The problem though, is that Maas expands upon established characters later on in a manner that contradicts her initial characterizations of them. So, she doesn't consider that readers actually remember previously established concepts and characterizations and feel the friction of the story's retroactive continuity. So even when Feyre DOES forgive her sisters, readers feel frustrated because the conflict never stays buried for long (because Maas constantly retreads the same plot threads) It’s not surprising that many people cannot let go of Nesta’s previous mistakes when the narrative is still grasping onto it with a cold iron grip for NO REASON.

Also, Nesta’s obvious preference for Elain is not only nonsensical, but never truly explained. I could believe it if maybe Elain was sickly and Nesta took on the role of her protector, or if they had a degree of separation from Feyre like a significant age gap, were half-siblings or if Feyre was adopted, but there’s nothing like that in the text. I just find the idea that Nesta would treat her youngest sister like chopped liver while prioritizing the elder to be unrealistic and unnecessarily frustrating.

You’re right about this lack of resolution being a factor on the division of the fandom. People debate and argue over what information they’re supposed to take seriously and remember and what can be disregarded due to its inconsistency.

[bylertruther]

can i be honest for a second? i think it's weird how quickly and avidly a lot of people in this fandom turn down the idea that will is gnc, even though he... literally is? lol.

will is described in canon as being sweet, sensitive, gentle, highly empathetic, emotional, soft-spoken, and artistic. these traits are not inherently gendered, but instead traditionally stereotyped to be "feminine," especially within the era that this show is set. they're likely the main reason why everyone assumes he's gay to begin with.

in the st pitch he's described as wearing colorful clothes, and in the show joyce tells us that other kids are mean, laugh at him, and make fun of him for them, right before she calls him sensitive and says that lonnie used to call him queer, thus linking this all together and driving the point home to hopper.

we also know that people of all age groups—his peers, teenagers, and even adults—call him all sorts of gay slurs, some of which are aimed at and describing feminine, androgynous, or cross-dressing homosexual men—aka, "fairy."

everyone in hawkins wasn't calling will gay and making his life difficult because he did anything with other boys. they did this because he never fit the societal expectation for how a boy "should" act—especially not at the height of the aids crisis in reagan's midwestern america, might i remind you—which, to them, meant he had to be gay.

it's him not conforming to the "acceptable" or expected gender presentation for boys that damns him. will is visibly gay by their standards. will is gender nonconforming in the context within which he exists, and even now because the aforementioned traits are still stereotyped as being "feminine" and considered aspects of male gender nonconformity. we know better now than to assume a man is gay because he's nice and soft-spoken, but we cannot erase the context of the show, the canon material it presents, or the real homophobia of that era that still exists today.

it's also a big part of will's character, because it further proves that he doesn't have a chance of conforming even if he would ever want to, because he would have to change everything about himself in order to do so. it wouldn't be as simple as changing his clothes or picking up a new hobby. he'd have to harden himself, to become tougher, to not feel as much as he does. and that's just not will. will is sweet, gentle, and sensitive—no matter what consequences it all brings. he can't change and he hasn't ever expressed any interest in doing so. literally not even life-altering trauma was able to take that from him. it's just who will is.

if you erase that HUGE part of his character, literally the second thing we're taught about him in the first fifteen minutes of 1x01, then you're erasing a big part of his lore, characterization, motives, and the representation he provides to those with similar experiences.

like... this isn't offensive characterization / writing. we've seen will on our screen for years now—we know he's not a one-dimensional stereotype, and that he's obviously more than the rumors that circulate about him. accepting what the duffers put forth doesn't diminish anything about him, and this... aversion people have to accepting that makes other gay people who have shared a similar experience as will feel othered in a community where they're supposed to feel welcome in.

this is something that happens to millions of people around the globe. this is an important story and an important character that have both been treated with extreme care by the writers and the actor that plays him. why would you want to erase any of that? what issue do you have with gay people like will? because it says a lot more about you than it does him or the duffers.

[thelesbianpoirot]

could you plz talk about your thoughts on poor things. I havent found the courage to watch it yet and id love to hear your takes on it

I like Yorgos Lanthimos films, he deals in absurd fucked up little worlds, I've seen Lobster, Dogtooth, and The killing of... and enjoyed them. They usually tackle something fucked up in society. How these characters live is deranged, we are also doing these deranged things, but we've normalized it so much that the absurdity on us is lost. Lobster - Our fixation on romantic partnership to the point people who choose not to participate in this societal arrangement as treat unfairly and left out of many areas of society. So where is an absurd situation is where this society forces you to be partnered or you are not human anymore. Killing of a sacred deer (TO ME) was about how we're at the mercy of powerful men with vices (and perversions) that can ruin our life without consequences, the drunk surgeon ruins a family by killing someone, the male doctor has a very scary fetish, assaulting unconscious women etc, when you realize the fallibility of men in charge of our lives, horrifying, so here is an absurd situation where someone has ultimate power and characters have no control. It is horrifying to be powerless to human men. I have been a woman who had to be sedated for a procedure, with a male doctor, my greatest fear was being taken advantage of, it would make me throw up to know my doctor had a fetish for having is wife pretend to be dead/unconscious while they had sex. That is what I took from that film. That is what made it powerful for me. POOR THINGS I thought when people were criticizing it they may not have gotten the satire, (I thought) it was supposed to be about how people only love women, the concept of women, if we are eternally girls, never mature, and always giving them carte blanche to exploit us and have a smile on the entire time. The prostitute who loves sex with random strangers for money, always sexual, always flirting, she just can't control herself. The stripper who loves being an exhibitionist, she's just a freak and has to share it. The woman who loves pain, it turns her on to be hurt by men. We've seen her on TV and in porn. I expected this to be an exploration of how men love this fake woman, and want to control her, because if she loves sex, they should be in control of who she has sex with or it is no longer fun for them. I thought this was going to be another "LOOK AT THE ABSURDITY" of such a woman. She doesn't exist. And if she did, she'll have to be brain dead, literally a shell of a mature adult woman who has killed herself because she cannot cope with this world. An analogy for how the sex industry takes advantage of drug using and mentally ill women. HOWEVER, director man wants to have his cake and eat it too, satirizing the exploitation of women, while exploiting a woman doesn't not make good satire. You're just doing the thing you're condemning. Satirizing sexualization of mentally unwell women, while actively eroticizing fucking someone with the mental IQ of a child is not good. Men already have a fetish of taking advantage of women with developmental issues, would loved if fuckin children was legal, and here you have talented actress Emma Watson making a fucked-stupid face right out of hentai. And she's being alluded for doing what porn actresses do every day, the voice and facial expression that makes me want to throw up. The film more goes on it stops being about (what I viewed, me personally) as a critique of the sex industry, and became about controlling a woman's sexuality, with no character there to present a feminist path that isn't BEING USED BY ANY MAN VS BEING CONTROLLED BY ONE MAN.

HERE IS A SHORT VIDEO of how I don't like satire of objectification/sexualization that uses objectification/sexualization to say it's message. But also I don't even think poor things are anti-sexualization, it is mainly about autonomy, the autonomy of women to sexually exploited. The exploitation isn't criticized, marriage is, a child like woman with unquenchable sexual lust belongs to the world, not one man it says. It was gross to watch and I felt icky. Not the kind of grossness that Killing of a sacred deer felt like, which was necessary to feel uneasy because feeling powerlessness is not comfortable. However, it is up to you to watch the movie and make up your mind, I am just annoyed that when it came to tackling women's issues acclaimed directors always fumble the ball.

[explosionshark]

you're so right about the Lies my parents told me episode!! Principal Robin Wood is like "you killed my mom" (valid complaint to have about someone) and Spike for real counters it with "well i kinda lowkey was in love with my mom. so what now." like??????

i would say "if i was principal wood i would've shot him on sight" but famously he did try. mr robin i could treat you so much better than buffy!!

I think part of what is so frustrating is that it's flying in the face of a lot of what they seemed to be trying to do with Spike's character this season and that kind of adds to the unusual cruelty of it.

So like - this whole season we're getting just SO MUCH of Spike and soul stuff. How different he is with a soul, how it's what's preventing him from killing, how he's wracked with guilt and shame over his past. And this should be a climactic moment for him - if nothing else you could see a version of this where he experiences empathy for Wood, expresses genuine regret, talks it out or tries to make amends.

Something like that would play into the idea that having a soul has made him reevaluate his life and his deeds. Killing slayers after all was his whole deal, now he's in love with one, now he's confronted with the grieving child of one. Shouldn't that be a moment where he faces up to something monstrous and tries to do better? Couldn't a sincere expression of contrition make Robin stop and think about what he's doing, what vengeance costs, what it's all for and if it's worth it?

That feels so obvious to me. I just pulled that out of my ass after thinking about it for five minutes.

But INSTEAD we spend most of our time in Spike flashbacks, centered in his POV, dealing with his relationship to his mom instead. And in the end, instead of showing any of the humanity Spike is supposed to have gained through his soul and his love for Buffy, we get him telling Robin that it was good he killed Nikki Wood, he doesn't regret it, and that Robin's pain is his mother's fault because by pursuing her calling she proved that she didn't love him enough (nevermind what that implies about Buffy and every other slayer, for that matter).

That the episode ends with Buffy downplaying Robin's pain and Spike's guilt to a pointless vendetta and saying that she would allow Spike to kill him if he tries to get justice again is just salt in the wound. Comparing losing Joyce to an aneurysm as a young adult to Robin's mother being murdered when he was a young child is ridiculously callous.

I think Robin Wood is one of the better, more interesting characters introduced in this season. The son of a murdered slayer in the mix adds so much potential depth to the questions we could start to ask about Buffy, now that she's getting older, raising her sister alone, balancing a career and slaying. Robin also offers a way for Buffy to have a connection to the slayer line that's more personal and tangible than anything we've seen before. But instead of exploring that - what was it like for a child to be raised by his dead mother's watcher? How does meeting Buffy and her friends challenge what he thinks he knows about the calling? Instead of giving Robin that much consideration as a character he gets sidelined for more Spike backstory and then scolded for uh being upset that his mother's killer is just flouncing around talking about how reformed he is. AND HE'S WEARING HER GODDAMN COAT.

Lies My Parents Told Me sucks so hard it's unreal. Hands down worst episode of the show for me.

[hikari-ni-naritai]

actually fuck it we're talkignm about it now. it being how shinsekai yori deals with sex and sexuality.

's fuckin weird dude! and its genuinely hard, once again, to tell what the author's stance on this is! in the beginning we learn that ancient humans, in attempting to create a new social model, considered basing it on bonobo society. bonobos as you may know are extremely promiscuous monkeys that solve nearly all interpersonal problems with sex. they decided against this, saying it wouldnt work, but elements are present in the society the show presents us. theyre much more permissible about sex and sexuality than modern japan. same-sex relationships are seen as completely normal for our 14-year-old protagonists. but we'll come back to that.

the knowledge that society couldve been based on bonobo sexual mores haunts saki for years. any time she's in a sexual situation, she thinks back on it. the first time is when her comphet boyfriend tries to have sex with her while theyre kidnapped by bakenezumi, and her response is basically 'we're better than monkeys'. which like, good on her for rejecting unwanted advances, but it bodes ill for the narrative the show pushes re: sex and sexuality.

at 14, the group's relationship dynamics look like this: saki is dating maria, but she's actually in love with shun, a boy ive neglected to talk about at all. saki's comphet boyfriend is dating shun and in love with him. shun tolerates this. maria is in love with saki. and mamoru is dating no one, and is in love with maria. i cant blame him. anyway we've got two cute little gay couples in our friend group! nobody seems to have anything to say about this, so its socially acceptable, right? i mean. sure. if youre 14. there are no adults in gay relationships. the assumption is still there, 1000 years in the future, that being gay is something that kids grow out of, some kind of practice for proper adult heterosexual relationships that can bear children. the only difference between modern japan and this fictional world is that boys are also allowed to be gay with each other as kids.

but even then! the narrative treats comphet boyfriend's gayness and saki's gayness completely differently. there's a validity to comphet boyfriend's feelings that is not afforded to saki. her feelings for maria are constantly overshadowed by her True Feelings for shun. meanwhile, comphet boyfriend's True Feelings for shun are just accepted. even years later, when maria's out of the picture, comphet boyfriend's gay crush is treated seriously. as 14 year olds, saki asks mamoru if it's really all that fun to choose to be alone and pine for the one you love instead of hooking up with someone. its pretty clear that she asks this because she wonders if she made the wrong choice to date maria, and maybe she shouldve stayed single hoping to get a chance with shun. when she's with maria, she remembers the bonobos. isnt she supposed to be better than this?

maria's crush on saki is more real, but it's not taken seriously either. she leaves her to be with mamoru, who she's never shown romantic interest in. but he loves her, and she cant have babies with saki, so it's only natural, right? sure she's sad to leave saki, but she has a Duty to this boy who has a crush on her, or something.

i dunno. i dont want to say the author is critiquing homosexuality here, or saying we should be better than that, or better than sex with little or no attachment, but it would be hard to deny it.

if someone's your dearest friend and lover, dont leave them to get pregnant in a rat colony. ok?

[zalrb]

what's the difference between julie and tami's relationship vs rory and lorelai's. What makes tami the better mother?

what's the difference between julie and tami's relationship vs rory and lorelai's.

Boundaries.

So, in the post that probably initiated this ask, I said this:

while Lorelai had her moments, like telling Rory she was treating Dean like dirt and then telling Rory she was wrong for sleeping with Dean when he was married and then telling her she was wrong for dropping out of Yale, for the most part I didn’t think the show really portrayed Lorelai as a mom at all. Like even when they talk about Rory growing up, it’s like Rory raised herself, she came out as this booksmart, curious kid and Lorelai just happened to luck out because what do we really know of how Lorelai actually shaped Rory as a person?

and I stand by that

although after the rewatch I did a couple of years ago, I will say we do see more moments than mentioned where Lorelai pushes Rory like when she encourages Rory to go to the formal because she doesn't want her to miss out on experiences simply because she's scared or during the Dean break up where she tells her it's OK to just wallow in how she's feeling and later on, when she says she doesn't want Rory to be closed off to love. Fine. But.

Boundaries are still an issue.

So to reiterate ... this is interesting as someone who doesn't like Julie as an individual character but Tami is understanding, she's gracious, she's communicative, she can concede things, admit when she's wrong

but she is a parent and reacts to Julie like a parent

as opposed to

she is interested in having an open relationship with her daughter, she is interested in having a relationship in which Julie will be able to come to her and talk to her

she specifically tells Eric that she will not be her own mother, she says that a daughter is entitled to an open relationship with her mother

but she is not saying this

and that's a healthy boundary to have.

Julie doesn't have to take off from school and comfort her mother over a breakup; she doesn't have to tell someone to stay away from her mother because she's worried about how Tami acts around them; Tami isn't encouraging behaviour like devil egging a seventeen year old boy's car because she doesn't like him. Tami definitely has to contend with judging other characters on the show when it comes to hanging out with Julie i.e. Tyra, although that's presented imo as a very typical parent doesn't want their kid to hang out with a 'bad influence' and not what Lorelai does and Tyra and Tami end up having their own relationship, which... not that Lorelai had to with Jess tbh, but again she's an adult and he's a kid, and she did the same thing to Dean the first time he and Rory broke up.

Like, we're keeping in mind here that the whole premise of Gilmore Girls is a romanticized "what if your mother was your best friend?" notion and FNL is a more grounded, slice of life drama which means that Tami and Julie are more organic in my opinion. Even when we're supposed to see how close Rory and Lorelai are when she tells her that she's considering sleeping with Jess despite the fact that Lorelai has extreme reservations around it, that moment isn't really anything, it's just Lorelai saying we're doing this and they eat, and put their hands on each other's backs and that's a sweet moment, sure, but it's also kind of perfunctory whereas when Tami and Julie have their sex talk, we actually see how uncomfortable it can be, how Julie can be seemingly dismissive, how she gets serious when she sees how intent Tami is and we see that actually have an effect on her

and because we actually see times where Tami struggles with Julie during her rebellious era

it has a more emotional and realistic impact when even during this time, Julie can cry with Tami or talk to Tami because of a relationship that Tami makes sure to have had established with her, which is we can open

[doodlegirl1998]

One thing I've noticed about how the Heroes seem to be operating under this harmful thinking of "It's okay if WE do it" kind of thing.

Like using Eri to heal Mirio's quirk, did they ask her first before doing it? Was Mirio really on board with this? All they said was that she was practicing her quirk on lizards and that's it.

And then have Shinsou brainwashing Gitanto. And then they try to make it less worse by revealing he secretly hated AFO for abandoning him when in actuality it's just used to not make the heroes look bad.

It's moments like these that makes the heroes, people we're supposed to be rooting for, look worse than the actual villains by having them do shit like this.

And with all their talk of "the kids will grow up to be better heroes than them" how are we supposed to believe this when we don't get their povs on these kind of things and seeing even going along with this?

God the writing is so bad...

Hi @theloganator101👋,

The writing and messaging in this series is atrocious at times. Especially with this. I do not believe the kids will grow up to be better than the adults before them at this point.

Everyone on the hero side definitely believes - "It's ok if WE do it."

1) Using Eri to heal Mirio has so many issues. Why is it ok for the heroes to use her to give Mirio his quirk back yet not ok for Overhaul to use her to make his bullets? (Overdouche was unnecessarily cruel to her however if he wasn't and was just taking her DNA via blood tests you bet the heroes would still have an issue with him using her to make his bullets.)

Eri has essentially gone from one situation where she is being violently abused and used for her quirk by a villain. To UA where she is in a nicer environment, being treated kindly (as a pass the parcel / class pet in a way in the care of the UA faculty.)

It seems like a harsh example but think about it. Think about how class pets are treated; kindly, brought out now and again to "aww" at and shared care given among the faculty/students. She's given no character, no trauma response the heroes help with, in fact they are using her again and they only have her in their care because they can use her. Which doesn't sit right at all with me.

2) Shinsou brainwashing Gigantomachia. You are right. I also hated this moment so so much. Am I meant to root for Shinsou or his story at this point? How can I when he is doing something that typically only the villains do in these types of stories? If he were brainwashing him to evacuate civilians / keep them safe I could understand but forcing him to attack AFO who he "loves". Not on. At all.

Whose idea even was it to do that and why is KIRISHIMA riding Gigantomachia like an animal?! It's so dehumanizing and humilating.

Gigantomachia's "anger" at AFO felt shoehorned in as a way of Hori forcefully trying to make us believe that what Shinsou is doing isn't that bad. But it is.

Put it this way - If a hero and their friend got into a fight, the friend was hurt by something the hero did - would it be ok for a villain to brainwash the friend to attack the hero? By Hori's logic here, the villain was ok to do that, the friend was upset at the hero so definitely wouldn't object to being forced to attack them.

This moment really soured my opinion on both Kirishima and Shinsou, but Shinsou especially.

Shinsou, who is meant to have a 'villianous quirk', yet Hori made him be praised, arrogant with a chip on his shoulder in his backstory. Now, he is someone to be rightfully wary of and who acts in a villianous way similar to 'The Dictator.' You know, the villain who AFO sent just before the 1A vs Izuku mess - who mind controlled all the civilians to attack Izu? Yeah this would be like that but if the Dictator got 1A at this moment and controlled them to attack Izuku. (Something I would have preferred to the 1A vs Izuku mess - as they would have been forced to fight him rather than doing it willingly.)

The fact that I can even make this comparison and make it have wieght is god awful. Hori's writing of the guys we are meant to root for is god awful.

[lesbiangenkai]

okay so some more thoughts and initial impressions about the live action:

first of all i want to say overall i enjoyed it but this is absolutely a treat for fans and not something i would recommend for someone with no prior knowledge of the series. and it obviously suffers a lot from the limited amount of episodes. i don't know if it was a netflix decision or what, but an 8-10 episode season would've definitely taken this from "fun trip down memory lane" to "actual good series that can stand on its own".

however! the writers did a very very good job condensing the story into one arc that generally flowed together well. i would say the only time the pacing feels truly awkward is the genkai training, but with only 5 episodes there's just nothing else they could've done about that.

some changes that are really really good and work arguably better than the original:

hiei's intro being re-written so that his motivations and character make sense from the jump. i especially love the fight scene with yusuke where he refuses to even draw his sword because yusuke is too weak to bother with

KEIKO IS A REAL CHARACTER! she was a girl trapped in a shounen manga and now she gets to be a character in an ensemble cast and treated with some actual care. looping her into the yukina rescue was fantastic. she feels like a Final Girl and i love that for her

the whole cast was really good despite my reservations seeing the screenshots. kuwabara steals the show imo but the actor who plays yusuke is great. that IS my grumpy son. kurama is appropriately weird and i love the actor doing this stiff walk like he's in a body he's not 100% used to yet. hiei's hair is terrible but he's doing great. just the right level of disdain for everyone around him

SAKYO. alright listen. i love that sakyo's gambling is borderline a superpower for him. when he does the russian roulette gamble with only one empty chamber oh boy this guy is BONKERS!!

the fight scenes were all done really well. and especially with yusuke the way he thinks on his feet during a fight and using his environment was reflected well

downsides: obviously the genkai arc....its such a good arc with a powerful message and i wish it got the time and space it needed. ummm also i know everything was rushed BUT i wish they had that moment in the toguro fight where keiko has a meltdown especially in the LA watching kuwabara "die" in front of her knowing she is about to be next. it's just such a powerful moment in the show imo where she's watching this brutality unfold as yusuke is getting beaten and her mind is on a loop like "i was just scolding him about homework last week we're supposed to be in school we're supposed to be KIDS" i know why they didn't but still. still.

i really wish we got more moments with the characters hanging out or chatting or something. also adult koenma with the binky.....tbh either have koenma played by an actual kid OR just have him as an adult and drop the binky have him chewing on a lolipop or something idc but like. if we're not doing the baby bit there's no reason to have it they could have just dropped it. ALSO this is nitpicky but kuwabara's spirit sword not being yellow.....yes i was bothered by this. :((( i'd give this like a 8/10 overall tho, very very fun.

[opinated-user]

I'm somewhat new to all thie

And I just

That clip of lily talking to Lolo about dropping genshin...

If I didn't know what I did about abuse, manipulation, and cults

I'd say how the fuck is this happening

I feel so bad for Lolo because looking through her account it really seems she loves genshin and don't egt me wrong I know there's alot of problems with it

But now she thinks she addicted to it and is a bad person because it seems this dumb lily bitch can't seperate fiction from reality. Because lily cant understand that you can still enjoy and play a game while also criticizing the bad parts of it.

And she thinks that's how friends are supposed to act like to each other. Man I don't even take that shit from my siblings???

Like just from this recent stuff I can tell how shitty and toxic she's being? And I found you AFTER seeing lolos posts about it

I know she's an adult but still. It sucks to go through that shit even as an adult. I'm not religious but I pray for her safety and health cuz that's alotta of red flags. Speaking from experience.

Lolo does seem like a sweet person so it's heartbreaking to see her being treated like this and then watch her still insisting that LO is nothing but a sweet friend to her. nobody deserves to be treated like that by people that are supposedly their friends.

but still... we're nothing but strangers on the internet. talk to Lolo will only make her double down and reinforce the narrative that LO wants her to believe, that "vultures" are out to get her and must be protected. we have seen this very thing happen before with ginger and even before that with Lizzy.

if Lolo is lucky she'll follow the path of Lizzy and break out that toxicity on her own, get therapy and heal. if she's not... well, we already know how that is currently going with MO.

the only thing we can do is watch. anything else it doesn't depend on us and we'll only make matters worse by trying to intervene.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

stars hollow au: Midge dancing with Richard and Lenny dancing with Emily at an event.

(Let's call this season 7 of Gilmore Girls)

"Emily Gilmore is staring at you like you are a slab of meat," Midge giggles as she whispers to Lenny.

They'd been talked into attending this charity function by Lorelai, who couldn't go, but needed someone to fill in with her parents, and so here they are, dressed elegantly, sipping cocktails and enjoying finger food, after giving a generous donation.

Lenny chuckles softly. "I'm seventeen years older than she is, I highly doubt she's looking at me that way."

"Go ask her to dance," Midge smiles.

"What? No. Emily Gilmore hates us. We're circus freaks, remember?" Lenny reminds her.

"She allowed us to come to this very fancy party," Midge points out. She nudges him. "Come on. Go be friendly. I'll even go ask Richard."

Lenny snorts. "He's taller than I am, it'd be like a T-Rex dancing with a tiny kitten."

"Then you'll have a laugh," Midge shrugs.

Lenny shakes his head and gets to his feet, taking a sip of his drink before wandering over. "Evening, Emily. Very nice party."

"Why thank you, Leonard. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Emily tells him cooly. "And thank you for that wonderful donation."

"Well, libraries have a special place in my heart," he tells her. "You uh...you wanna dance?"

Emily blinks. "Well I..."

"Come on, Richard," Midge says, popping up at Richard's side. "Let's go cut a rug while they do."

"Well, I...I suppose," Richard shrugs. "I've never danced with a celebrity before."

"First time for everything!"

Lenny shakes his head and turns to Emily, lifting an eyebrow. "So?"

Emily sighs. "Well. Alright."

He escorts her onto the dance floor and they begin to dance. When he glances over at Richard and Midge he has to laugh a little.

"What?" Emily asks, perplexed.

Lenny nods over. "Midge doesn't wear high heels too much anymore, and it's working against her."

Emily glances over and chuckles softly. "She is tiny."

"One of the many things I love about her," Lenny tells her.

Emily nods. "It's nice. That you two are so in love. As much as I'm not exactly a fan of Lorelai's decision to stay in Stars Hollow, it's...nice. That she had the two of you as role models."

"Never been called a role model before," Lenny ponders. "A sick degenerate, but never a role model."

"Like Midge said, there's a first time for everything," Emily comments. She stays quiet for a moment. "You see Lorelai and Christopher quite a bit, don't you?"

Lenny shrugs. "We uh...some. Not as much as we used to when Lorelai was single. Or with Luke."

"Why is that?"

"Well...Christopher is uh..."

"Go on. You can say it."

"A schmuck," Lenny tells her immediately. "A putz. He's immature, and he's not good for Lorelai."

Emily stays quiet for a long, long moment before sighing heavily. "I hate that you're right."

Lenny blinks. "I'm right?"

"Of course you are," Emily tells him. "He treats her terribly. When Richard was in the hospital, he didn't show up until after his surgery was over, and Lorelai was calling him all day."

"Well...I guess they were in a fight..."

"Oh, please, if you and Midge were arguing, and you found out her father was in the hospital-"

"I'd be there in seconds," Lenny nods, his voice grim. "I mean, I loved Midge's father, he was great."

"Richard is great. Christopher likes Richard. They smoke cigars together." Emily shakes her head. "I feel so foolish. All these years I've been dreaming of the two of them finally pulling themselves together. And now that they have..."

"They're no good for each other," Lenny finishes. "It's okay to feel foolish about these kinds of things. We're parents, we like to think we know what's best for our kids, but the real truth is they know what's best for them. Especially when they get to be adults."

"I suppose," Emily sighs. "You're not just saying all this because you liked Lorelai better with Luke, are you?"

"God no," Lenny snorts. "I mean, I love Luke like he's one of my own, but he was a fucking-"

"Leonard."

"-Frigging - idiot. Pushing Lorelai away. Leaving her hanging with the wedding. It was all him. She wanted to marry that guy and he fu-fudged it all up. I think it was stupid of her to get back with Christopher, but it's hard to feel surprised when she was so hurt."

Emily nods, staying quiet.

Lenny glances over, watching Richard spin Midge, and laughs.

Emily grins to herself. "It's actually hilarious."

[she-waves-at-cats]

Ok, I really want to talk about it. I have thoughts that will rot my brain if i don't get them out.

I had a meltdown in karate class. (My entry for the "most autistic sentence ever uttered" contest if someone wants to organise one.)

It was my first experience of public overwhelm since my autistic realisation, so I can now see these events from a new perspective.

The how and the why: Intense day of mostly-positive experiences that included a phonecall (omg) with a job recruiter who was extremely nice to me. Also I forgot to eat lunch. By the time the evening class rolled around, I was in a good mood overall, but my brain had had enough I guess, so it started "shrinking". It was hard to coordinate movements, which stressed me out, so it was hard to recall movement sequences, which stressed me out, then we did an exercise with a partner and I was self-conscious, so I just froze... And then the teacher took notice, so he took time to individually drill me in basics, which was what pushed me over the edge. I know the basics, I'm so good at this stuff actually. I have more theoretical knowledge than any other student in that room, and he knows that, but seeing me fail once made him forget about all that. I cried. He lectured me, publically.

Here's something he thought was appropriate to say: "You're not supposed to be crying, you're supposed to enjoy the class."

Isn't this the most controlling, gaslighting bullshit an authority figure can say? You're not experiencing appropriate emotions, so I will now remind you what emotions you're supposed to experience. And I used to swallow things like that, hook, line and sinker. I used to grab myself by my own nonexistent bootstraps and beat myself into expressing emotions others can comprehend. That's what masking is, not a happy acting exercise, it's violence that you are convinced you have to exert on yourself.

But my real conclusion is that while up to a point, I could've prevented this event if I had read my own clues better (positive stress is still stress, and I was not careful managing my resources because I thought happiness was giving me more resources), OTHER PEOPLE MADE IT WORSE.

The teacher could've just let me do the exercises badly for one day. He could've just given me corrections like normal, without worrying I was not immediately improving. Without making it a whole thing where he pairs me up with another student specifically to watch me and correct me. And it's not like I didn't say "remembering things is hard for me today". He just didn't get that it means "leave me alone today, tomorrow I will remember things again". He did extra work with me that was completely useless.

And when I took my bag and left, the other female student followed me, wanting to know what happened, not taking "just a stressful day" for an explanation, kept asking if I was definitely ok, disparaged the men in the class for not knowing how to take care of a female friend, and then offered me a ride home. I let her drive me - I'd wanted to be her friend and was actually frustrated that she always came late to class and left immediately after, so we never had a chance to connect before. But man, was it hard to think of things to say in that car, when my mind was the size of a pea and my memory behind 3 vault doors.

It took a whole night of processing and then a whole day of being quiet and treating myself gently until I felt like myself again. If people had just left me alone, there would've been nothing special to process and recover from. I would've had a mediocre class, then taken a long walk home and remembered I was basically happy.

Showing that I struggled wasn't WRONG, exactly, but the problem is that if I show struggle, or god forbid a tear, people react in ways that make it impossible for me to calm down. And the worst thing is that none of the people in this story are neurotypical - we're adult karate nerds after all - but neurotypical methods of dealing with emotions are so ingrained in us, we think we will let a friend down if we don't pester them for more emotional work when they are already at their emotional limit.

I used to think that to get the support I want, I needed to communicate better. That day, I communicated. I was so articulate for someone who can barely think and talk. But people did not accept my true words at face value.

What we need is more education about autism before there's acceptance of alternative ways of experiencing stress and processing emotions. We are only taught neurotypical communication, to the point where we hurt each other.