#Shit is weird

[herejusttosufferalong]

I'm not entertaining the L / HD business, because I value my sanity and also wtf BUT, someone said this in the comments:

"Hannah went to The 1975 concert with L and A was there as well rows behind them taking a video"

Why is everything with L & A so fucking weird? Like, just stand next to each other at the bloody concert.

outside of this last LA trip, and we have no way to really confirm, but the Knicks game is the only time publicly they were seen out alone correct?

Even then they weren't even seated together

Am I forgetting something?

Why are they always just seen in group outings?

[gunpowder-tim]

anyway having to call an ambulance is so very stressful what the fuck is up with that.

[dysphoriccanada]

my entire childhood i was terrified of admitting things about me or opening up because i was scared my family wouldnt understand. i was the first born grandchild, i was the eldest daughter, i was academically gifted, and i often felt i was more a possession you show off at dinner parties than the nine year old who wanted to share an ice cream. i wouldnt verbalize how touching without me initiating made my skin crawl, how not knowing what to eat at a restaurant made me want to cry, or how loud and unexpected things made me paranoid for days. i didnt want to shatter their reality because then theyd just be left with me. and i wasnt sure thats what they wanted.

when i turned sixteen, my doctor presented me with a task. she told me she wanted me to pay attention to every action around me; take in all the details, keep a journal of the tiniest moments. she wanted me to try and focus on the little good moments, to help me see the good in mine and my families relationships. i never took her seriously when she said these things, but i did it anyways, for laughs, and for something to do.

the entries started small at first. my sister making a point to come find me at lunch to see if i was eating anything. my mom standing next to me while i cried because the binder i ordered didnt fit. my dad keeping a playlist of music we both liked equally when we had to drive somewhere together. things i felt that they did only because that was a very normal action or reaction.

then i made a mistake, and i spent christmas of 2018 in the hospital, and my nites on the little things kept piling up. my dad came to see me every day on his lunch break without fail. my mom brought me a new book every couple of days. my sister called every night (she was and still is terrified of hospitals) to say a prayer for me. my dad bought me a stuffed animal that reminded me of my childhood dog, and my sister sent him her chore money so he could get me a better blanket after mom mentioned i didnt like how stiff the hospital sheets were.

i chalked it up to me being in a delicate place, and they didnt want me to feel like i was disappointing them. my doctor told me to keep writing in the journal. the little things started to become more noticeable after i got home.

my dad and i dont hug and we never really have. but he always stands close enough that i can press my forehead to his shoulder or lets me grab his sleeve when im stressed. my mom has trouble with my name, but she’s always the first to introduce me as her son, because thats the title that matters most. my sister doesnt like talking about her problems and hates when i try to involve myself with her relationship status, but im the first person she calls when she needs to talk during a drive, or when shes freaking out over an assignment.

then my doctor told me to take notice of the rest of my family. the ones i was so scared of tellling.

my grandma doesnt make me talk to her, but she scrunches up her nose and eyes at me across the table to show me she’s acknowledging im there. my papa keeps a copy of every school picture of me in his wallet. my mothers sister cried when i told her, then made her husband grab me a beer so i could practice pretending to like it because she didnt want her son to try and crack any jokes about me not being man enough to chug. the quilt thats been on my bed at my grandparents for the past three years has been the same, but i only noticed the tiny signature on the corner last week, telling me its a quilt my great grandmother made.

my cousin told me i was his little brother always, and his girlfriend told me im always welcome in their home and that the upstairs spare bedroom is pretty much mine whenever i need it. my best friend of seventeen years gets me that cheesy “birthday boy” ribbon from the dollar store every year without fail. my coworker told me her son - who i babysit - wanted to invite me to “boys day” with him and his dad.

my entire childhood i was so focused on the big picture of all the things my family didnt do - things i didnt even want to happen in the first place - that i was completely lost on all the things they did do. my family loved me. just only in the ways they thought i would better understand.

im 22 this year. on monday my grandma is taking me to the hospital so i can get bloodwork done. im getting my natural hormone levels tested so that my doctor knows how much testosterone i’ll need for my shots. afterwords she wants to show me her recipe for honey-bread, and my papa wants me to sit with him and watch some new nature documentaries. my sister cant wait to get home for reading week so i can braid her hair the way she likes and read her study notes out loud so she can retain them better. my mom and i are gonna visit her side of the family so i can tell them the good news. and my dad - with our updated playlist - is gonna help me assemble my new bookshelf.

it’s the little things.

[dilsdoes]

youve heard of do it scared now get ready for: do it weird. is it normal to go to the movies alone? who cares. do it weird.

credit to @hellodaekko for this art and their own post also making this same point which is here

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[wild-saber1337]

MY GOD WHAT HAVE I FOUND XD

I'm not sorry for having you know this exists XD

[g3othermal3scapism]

rose tyler visiting home wearing tshirts from artists and tours that havent happened yet or tv shows that dont exist yet and everyone thinking she just has weird obscure music taste and is rly weird. its 2006 rose tyler walking down the street and everyone who glances at her shirt is thinking ‘who in the fuck is olivia rodrigo and where did this girl get a 2024 tour shirt’

[outsideyourhousewithaknife]

Knitting is great it's just a fidget toy and periodically you get a scarf or some shit

[ginkgocrown]

rough day for marcille

[nat-20s]

Ten and Donna end up on a fucked up deadly space newlyweds show despite uh. Not being newlyweds but they get almost all the questions right. They start to sweat when the final question is "what's one secret desire you have involving the other?" And Donna writes "sometimes I wish I could occasionally shrink down the doctor real small so I could carry him around in my pocket and make sure he doesn't get lost' while Ten writes "sometimes I wish I was small enough that Donna could carry me around in like a cat backpack or maybe a shirt pocket" and they look at each other like AYYYYYY because not only are they deeply drift compatible they're also fuckin weird about it 💖

[sixty-silver-wishes]

I love tumblr because “I love this character so much I want to put them in a blender, pour the results into an ice tray, stick it in the freezer, and make popsicles out of them so that I may consume their essence” is not only a common sentiment, but a socially acceptable one here

[nutmeggery]

actually I will say something about this:

setting up a romance line but waiting until one of the actors is a freshly legal adult before executing it is creepy, actually, especially when the co-star is 15 years older

[idolomantises]

Makes me kind of sad that most people's perception of a "GNC lesbian" is like. a cis woman in a suit.

You show them a transmasc/transfem lesbian, lesbians who do drag, lesbians who have body hair, lesbians who use he/him pronouns, etc and its like their brains short circuit.

[beautysnake]

quick warmup since I dont have time for a full blown art fight attack today! Little cat things :>

[loonarmuunar]

Humans being the first. Not the strongest or the smartest or the weirdest or the most violent. Just the first.

We called out into the dark over and over. We sent out messages in hopes. We searched every planet we could reach, in hopes of any sign of life. Any at all.

We thought, hoped we were the last, because we couldn’t bear the idea of being the one ones this awake and alive in a world as vast as this.

And we died alone.

When the others are born, many many years later, they find us, everything we left for them.

They recover The Golden Record and look at it a million times over, they dig up our fossils and put us in museums, they study us for years and years, loving us as we love our ancestors’ painted hands on cave walls.

In a lot of their languages, the word they use for us has the same root for “mother”.

[rwsdarw]

this was fun