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mapileonxputellas · 6 months

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Beckham II: 3 Nerves

The third part is finally here! I hope you enjoy.

Masterlist can be found here.

9th February 2023

“Breaking news this lunch time, Sarina Weigman had named her squad for the Arnold Clark cup and included in the squad for the first time in nearly 4 years is Y/N Beckham.” England squads weren’t typically breaking news on the main news channels but this was no ordinary squad announcement. “Widely considered as one of the best players on the planet, Beckham has not been including in an England squad since the 2019 World Cup and her return dominated the press conference.”

Squad announcement press conferences are usually comminated by a few stories, the surprise inclusions, the ones who don’t quite make the cut. However when the list was read out it was immediately clear what all the questions would be about today as the eyes of world football turned to Sarina.

“Sarina can you tell us more about Beckham’s inclusion? Why has this decision been taken now after 4 years?”

“I know you’re all probably very interested in that so I’ll try and answer all of your questions. This hasn’t been a simple process for either party, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been watching her since I became England manager but it’s not that simple and we had to respect the fact that Y/N did not want to be called up. Over the past few weeks I’ve been working closer with her and we’ve agreed that now is the right time to see if we can make progress.”

“The squad has changed a lot since then but there are still players who would were in the squad in 2019, have you spoken to them about this?”

“I have not, I’d like to think that all players support each other and I know my players well enough to know that they will do all they can to make Y/N feel welcome in this environment both on and off the pitch.”

“Do you have any concerns around her desire to play for England and play for the badge. Will she have lost that fight in the past four years?”

“I can not prove that to you and I guess none of us will know the answer until she plays for England again but I would not pick any player I had those concerns about. I’ve watcher her play a lot for Barcelona and over this past year especially I’ve seen a freedom to her play. I just hope that we can all see that side of her in an England shirt.”

“David, were you shocked when the announcement was made?”

“I mean obviously we spoke about prior to the announcement but when she told me I wasn’t exactly shocked. It just annoyed me that people questioned her mentally because she is so strong now.”

…..

Everyone could tell you were anxious. Since the announcement on Thursday you’d been quieter than usual in training, your usual sweet laughter which your teammates loved had been replaced by a strained giggle and they could see you’d been putting pressure on yourself in every department.

Everything had to be perfect.

In the four days since your decision had been made public you’d received support from all your teammates but you could see they were also worried. Many of them had been here when you joined, they’d seen the aftermath and many of them had been your shoulder to lean on for months after.

Many of them watched on now as you retreated into your room, barely giving a second glance to the games currently taking place in the dining room, a tradition you were a usual member of the night before an away game.

Alexia and Mapi had noticed the changes just like everyone else, the three of you had a strong connection both on and off the pitch. Alexia had become an older sister figure to you and Mapi was your platonic soul mate. They knew your habits unlike anyone else and when the notebook you used for anxious tattoo scribblings had been out the entire journey to Mallorca it was clear your mind was elsewhere.

“You grab the pillows.”

“I’ll grab the blankets.”

The two of them scurried off to their own rooms, finding their entrusted items before meeting back at the door which they knew you would be behind. You wouldn’t have gone outside, your shy nature meant you struggled to have confidence in new cities, preferring to explore with others rather than alone as the sun went down.

Alexia knocked on the door, a moment of panic striking as they thought you weren’t going to answer before the door creaked open. Your wide-eyed figure stood in the crack, still in the tracksuit you’d travelled in rather than pyjamas.

“What’s going on?” The tree of you quite often spent the nights in each other’s hotel rooms, though those meetings were usually pre-planned.

Only you knew from the worried expressions on their faces this wasn’t a call to watch the latest film that had been released. “We’re worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

You should have known that answer was never going to satisfy them. “Please can we come in.”

It wasn’t even worth trying to persuade them, not really. “Sure.” They couldn’t miss the sigh you let out as the door swung open. “Make yourself comfy.”

In the matter of minutes you’d gone from sprawling over the double bed alone to shuffling between the two players, being welcomed into the arms of Alexia as the three of you shuffled under the duvet.

“We’re worried about you.” MarÍa admitted, smoothing down the hair draped around your face. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure because I bet if we looked in that notepad we’d find more anxious doodles than before. You’ve barely spoken two words to anyone since the news broke out.”

“I read an article-“

“Didn’t I tell you to stop that.” Alexia scolded you. “Those journalists don’t know anything about you.”

“But they don’t know that.” You argued back. “They’ll be reading about how ‘cocky’ I am on and off the pitch, how I flaunt my money, how I think I ‘own the team’.”

“If they believe that then they really have no eyes. Then they’ll see how you’re one of the shiest players on the team, they’ll learn how you could live in mansion but donate so much money to charity, they’ll see how much you work on the team as a whole. You do everything for football and they need to see that.”

“If they don’t love the person they’ll come to know then that’s on them.” Alexia agreed with her.

“Are you sure this isn’t about a certain blonde centre back?” MarÍa teasingly questioned you. “Maybe this isn’t about you being nervous about the articles and more about going into gay panic around Miss Williamson.”

“I told you that in confidence that you’d never bring it up again.” It was true, a few years ago you had confided in the two of them that you used to have a small (very large) crush on Leah at the time.

“And I’m tired of you being the third wheel in our flat, you’ve rejected every opportunity for me to set you up with one of my friends so now I have to think that it’s because you’re still pining for the girl.”

“I’m not pining for anyone, it was a stupid crush which has gone in the four years that I haven’t spoken to the girl.”

“Would you like to speak to her again?” Alexia asked.

“I mean obviously I’m going to have to, she’s the captain of the team.”

“Message her now.”

“No.”

“Why not?” I could only think of a million reasons why I wasn’t about to do that.

“Because like I said, I haven’t spoken to her in nearly four years and it would be weird for me to just message her the night before we see each other again.”

“So lets role play it then, you walk into the hotel tomorrow and she’s there, what are you going to say?” Alexia asked the question you’ve been asking yourself all week.

“Hi.”

Both of them looked like they wanted to tear out both their own and your hair. “Ok you can’t just say that.”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“How are you? Ask her about her life?”

“You want me to speak to the girl for the first time in years and ask her basically how she’s been since we went from speaking every day to unfollowing each other on social media and avoiding any chance of meeting since then.” You needed better friends in situations like this. “I’m not going heavy on our first conversation.”

“You will need to talk about.”

“I know but it’s not just her I need to have that conversation with, I was close with a lot of them and now I’m not. They should be just as involved in that conversation as Leah is.”

“Maybe you could design her a little tattoo, something like ‘I love Y/N’ on her forehead.” MarÍa teased you. “Matches your ‘I love Leah’ on your chest.”

“Shut up, just so you know I’ll never stop cockblocking you and Ingrid, I’ll be round for tea when I get back.”

“Bonnie told me she wants to live with me all the time by the way, said something about her mum abandoning her.”

“Fuck off MarÍa.”

….

The first person to reach out to you wasn’t exactly someone you expected. Mary Earps wasn’t exactly in your friendship group back in 2019, though because she was a part of that squad she was one of the players who you unfollowed in the following unfortunate events. You definitely therefore were not expecting to see her name pop up as you made your way through the airport, heading out to the car which would take you back to your parents’ house before you headed to the team hotel later on in the evening.

@1maryearps: See you later mate, we can’t wait to have you back x

Your emotions were so all over the place that maybe you should have expected this simple message to bring tears to your eyes. Maybe that meant you’d have at least one person on your side tonight.

You spent most of the meal with parents and siblings trying to do anything to avoid the thoughts about what was happening tonight coming back. You spoke to Harper about her homework, Cruze about his latest holiday and Romeo about his girlfriend. Brooklyn could almost sense your nervousness and kept up the conversation, which was all fine until you had to leave.

They knew how big this moment was and each gave you an individual goodbye before you got back into the car. As much as you would have liked to have taken your dad’s offer to drive you, this was all about being normal and being drove by David Beckham didn’t really give off that vibe.

You’d made this drive a million times before, only this time it seemed to take half the time and before you knew it the doors to St George’s Park were in view.

The only person in view was a single man holding a video camera, obviously preparing for the players’ arrivals This was hard and yet you knew this was probably the easiest step, he didn’t know you. You got out from the car, flashing a small smile to the camera as it trained on your every move, making sure to say a thank you to the driver, you turned to head inside.

“How are you feeling Y/N?” The camera man asked.

“Excited.” You couldn’t exactly tell him you were shaking inside. “I can’t wait to be back with this amazing team.”

“Two goals from you today….”

“All thanks to my teammates.” It was only the truth, you were basically set up for both goals by Aitana, you couldn’t do anything but put them in the back of the net.

“Good luck.”

“Thank you very much.”

If you were known for one thing it would be your punctuality, in fact you almost had a fear of being late. Maybe you’d done it on purpose this time to avoid greeting teammates in front of the camera but you were the first here judging by the table in the reception area being full of keys.

“Y/N it’s good to finally meet you in person.” Anja, one of the members of the England management team greeted you. “I hope you’re feeling well.”

“I’m glad to be here,” You settled for that. “I can’t wait to get back on that pitch now.”

“Well we’re glad to have you here. Here’s your key, we’ll meet in the dining area for a quick debrief at 8 and then you’ll have the night to yourself. Training schedules for the week are in your key pack.”

“Thank you.”

This place hadn’t changed one bit, from the entrance all the way up to your rooms you could trace the steps without even looking. You could hear noise out in the corridor but you stayed put, waiting for the clock to tick to 7:50 before making your way downstairs. With it being ten minutes early no one was there but Sarina and the coaching staff. Could this technically count as your first impression to them?

Their eyes trained on you as you entered the room. “Hey, thank you once again.”

“Stop saying thank you, this is all on you.” Sarina instructed, giving you a firm yet welcoming hug, an action which was repeated by the others. “Go and take a seat.”

“Thank-“ Maybe not. “Ok Sarina.”

You didn’t really know what to expect from the others, the squad was definitely a mixture of youth and experience. However even some of the more established players like Alessia and Ella were unknown to you on a personal level.

Thankfully maybe the first ones in were some of the younger players, Jess Park and Ebony Salmon were both the epitome of excitement as they entered the room saying a quick hello to the staff before slightly pausing when they found me sat on the first row.

“Hi.” You knew it was on you to make the effort. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Jess said taking the seat next to me. “You’re killing it at Barcelona.”

“Thank you, I’ve enjoyed watching you play this season. You’ll be an asset at city when you return.” You loved studying young players and watching their development. Jess was no difference in that, plus it helped to build up that connection on the team.

The volume in the room increased as more players entered. Some like Laura Coombs and Katie Zelem gave you a quick smile before taking their seats, other youngsters gave you a quick welcome.

The first real re-introduction you had was when Millie and Rachel entered, your eyes instantly connecting and it was Rachel who led the two of them over. You had always loved the two of them and almost let out a sigh of relief when they both greeted you with hugs, repeating how glad they were to see you. Lucy and Jordan followed suit, the two of them messing about and pulling you into a tight hug before taking their seats.

It was however the final people to enter the room that you were the most nervous about. Maybe you should have been thankful that when Keira, Georgia and Leah entered the room the meeting was about to start and all you could do was send a glancing look their way before Sarina had eyes on her.

She went through the logistics, just like happens every time before she got into the depths of the squad. “It would seem like this is the squad for reintroducing yourself. Laura hasn’t been with us since 2020 and Y/N in 2019. We just want everyone to remember that they’re here for a reason and we all play for England, we’re all a team.”

You blocked everything else out, vaguely scribbling down on your phone some notes about the timings and rooms you were needed in but it was all a bit of a blur. You took your time at the end speaking to some of the other girls, no-one seemed to be making a huge fuss about the situation but the trio had disappeared again and you knew you had to speak to them tonight before this started to interfere with the rest of the camp.

Thankfully you managed to find them, the three of them tucked away in the corner of the dining room, huddled around a laptop playing something in German.

“Hey.” Your voice almost cracked as you broke through the silence. “It’s good to see you all.”

You should have predicted really that Keira and Georgia would be your road in, though the two of them were fierce on the pitch they really were softies off it and you were almost knocked off your feet when they bounded up to you, both their arms wrapping around you in a hug.

“We can’t believe you’re actually here.” Georgia said. “This is just crazy.”

“It’s definitely different.” Leah finally joined in and that was the moment you knew even as she joined in the hug, she was the one who would be the toughest to crack. She wasn’t going to let you in just as easy but the captain part of her probably forced her to not let it show around others. “Glad to have you back on the team.”

“Thank you.”

“Take a seat.” Keira glanced to the free chair next to Leah. “We were just watching Georgia make a fool of herself, want to join?”

“Yeah I’d like that, I’d like that a lot.”

#woso #woso imagines #woso imagine #woso x reader #beckham #barcelona femeni #lionesses #woso fanfics #woso community #leah williamson #engwnt #lionesses x reader #lionesses imagine

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readychilledwine · 3 months

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Threesome

✨️Kink Education with Elizabeth ✨️

Threesomes fall into a few different play types: domination, voyeurism and exhibitionist, and Zelophilia *jealousy play/competition play* and there is a ton of psychologically behind why couples or even singles looking for new fun may partake in one. Threesomes are so desired in the kink community for a few reasons. Here's a few of the most common:

Polyamory - Some people genuinely do enjoy sexual and non sexual connections with multiple partners, so threesomes are a natural outcome of that mindset and lifestyle. It isn't for everyone, but for those who enjoy having multiple partners, there is nothing more satisfying than getting to express the love and joy you all share in one mess of flesh and sweat.

Sexuality exploration (especially among the bisexual community) - it helps allow you to explore questioning sexuality or known sexuality with multiple genders, two people of the same gender, gender fluid people. It can also help if you have a bisexual partner who misses the touch and feel of the sex they are not currently with.

And rekindling - a threesome is an exciting new experience a lot of people do not commonly get to try due to insecurity, jealousy, lack of foundation and trust in the relationship, but when/if you are lucky enough to get to have one, it's. So. Thrilling. It is a new person you get to show off for, a new performance, a new stimulant. It can help rekindle passion, bring new spark, and in some cases teach new methods and positions you haven't tried before.

Threesomes are not something to just casually throw into your love life, though. Threesomes can destroy a relationship as quickly as they can add to it. You have to make sure you and your partner agree on your third that boundaries are set and understood and that you both feel secure. Otherwise, like we talked about with cucking, this can destroy a relationship fast.

Also, before the ask even comes in. Yes. The answer to your question is yes, because at least one of you is going to secretly wonder and possibly send the anon.

💕Peep the Kink Bingo Masterlist Here💕

✨️ As always, NSFW below cut ✨️

Lucien x Reader x Azriel

Warnings - dom!Lucien, sub!reader, switch!Azriel, oral (m and f), competitiveness, mentions of Tamlain (which has potential as a ship 🤔), technically dp, praise kink, ps this dynamic was hard to write, so I went with my heart, hopefully it isn't disappointing.

“She doesn't even want you!” You sighed, swirling the wine you had been nursing for the past 30 minutes as Lucien and Azriel fought.

It was no wonder Elain had run and fallen straight into Tamlin's arms. The two males before you were constantly at odds with each other, constantly stroking their own egos, fighting like children trying to claim the last piece of candy, and quite frankly, they were irritating.

You sighed as your mate's winged flared in anger at that statement, "And what? Do you think she wants YOU? That's comical, Vanserra. Really." You had thanked the Mother and Cauldron for Azriel daily, you truly had, but something about Lucien had captured your mind, and the male, still upset about his own bond failing due to your mate, had taken advantage of that. That didn't stop you from loving Azriel, though. From wanting him. From wanting both of them.

You two had not planned on falling in love with both, but here you were, married to Lucien due to a drunken night in Adriata and mated to Azriel.

You didn't understand why Elain felt the need to choose and to chase. You could have them both if you wanted, and just to prove that point, you untied the satin robe you were wearing, revealing the lack of clothing underneath. Lucien was the first to notice as Azriel continued ranting. His hand had gone to your thigh instantly, eyes locked on your own as he devoured the sight before him. You reached for his shirt, pulling you to him and settling him on top of you. “You sure?” It took Lucien's husky voice dripping in desire for Azriel's shadows to curl his ears, whispering that you were staring at him, waiting.

“I want you both. Please.” Lucien was more than happy to oblige, placing soft kisses down your body, relishing in every noise as Azriel stared, eyes wide in lust and shock.

Lucien wasted no time, going to where you wanted him most and nipping at your inner thigh as he placed them over his shoulders. Lucien looked up at you, eyes locking on yours as he took his first lick at your core. He smirked with pride as your head fell back, a mix of a moan and sigh leaving your throat. You reached on hand to Azriel, the other tangling into Lucien's hair. Azriel moved to you, breath slightly hitched. He squatted down by you, grabbing your throat gently right as Lucien locked your bundle of nerves between his lips, licking and sucking on it.

Azriel held you in place for him, a smirk growing on his face. “Look so pretty like this, baby,” his free hand moved to your breasts, pinching your nipples and groaning as he watched you try to squirm only to be held in place by Lucien. Azriel tutted you softly, “Be good for Lucien, sweetness. Gotta listen and stay where he wants you, or I'll just play with him while you watch.”

Lucien groaned against you, fingers squeezing your thighs as if he enjoyed the thought of that. He looked up at you, one eye whirling to search for any sign of discomfort, the other blown out with lust and need.

Lucien didn't eat you out like a male starved. No, every lick and suck was methodically planned. It served a purpose to send wave after wave of pleasure down nerves begging for more and more. You heard Azriel's clothing coming off, and you felt the room shift as you got closer. “Hurry up and finish her off, Lucien. The quicker we get her onto the bed, the sooner you find out what a gift her mouth is.” You whimpered, drooling at the thought of choking on Lucien. "You want that, don't you, y/n?"

Azriel forced you to nod, laughing at your big eyes and quick submission. Azriel pushed Lucien's head further into your cunt, watching with heated eyes as your head went back further into the pillows, breathing becoming more shallow and rushed. "Gods, she's fucking close. Look at you, Lucien, making our girl so happy. Do you want her to cum for you?” Lucien grabbed your thighs higher, pulling you into him more and moaning at Azriel's hand, tugging and tangling in his red locks. "How lucky am I? Two beautiful submissive little creatures both so eager to please.”

You felt Lucien's smirk, knowing he had just as much of a dominant streak in him. You were just happy to be there. To play the part of this needy creature, especially if it meant drowning in pleasure. Lucien pushed a finger into you, curling it and chuckling as you gasped his name, toes curling. He focused on you and you alone, not even watching as Azriel went down to you whispering in your ear as his scarred hands tweaked and played with your nipples.

You were a mess for them already. Core drenched and begging, clenching around Lucien's single finger tighter and tighter as your moans and cries began louder. Falling over the edge with Lucien was always easy. He didn't make you see stars. He made you see worlds. He made you cry and beg. It was no different with an audience. Lucien forced you over that edge, hands tangling into his hair, screaming his name, and coaxing little noise after noise of over stimulation from you once your high ended. And then jealousy flooded that bond you shared with Azriel.

Azriel lifted you from the couch as Lucien watched, taking you over to your bed and tossing you down with effort. Lucien seemed surprised by the smile that appeared in your face as you got onto your knees, hands roaming Azriel's chest as the male pulled your hair back and forced you into a rough kiss.

You held a hand out to Lucien as he did, a quiet invitation to join you two instead of just watching. Perhaps it was selfish, but you wanted his hands on you, wanted to feel him. Wanted to feel both of them. Lucien came to the bed and started kissing down your neck, warm hands resting on your hips. “So fucking beautiful, baby,” his voice caressed your ear, sending shivers up and down your body.

Azriel pulled apart, hazel eyes filled with lust. His hand went to Lucien's face, and his thumb traced his plush lips. “I believe she thinks the same thing about you.” Azriel ran his hand down to Lucien's throat, squeezing it softly, “Are you going to be a good boy and listen?”

It was then that you giggled, and Lucien smirked, “Are you?” The question sent electricity through the air. It bought a new challenge, a new competition between the two males. You scooted away as Azriel studied Lucien, watching and waiting. “I promise you this is a game I will win,” Lucien raised a brow to Azriel. “Can you handle that?”

For the first time in the many years of friendship you and Azriel shared, you saw him blush, “I-”

“Let us take care of you, Azriel,” the domination in Lucien's tone was so gentle. “When's the last time someone took care of you?” Lucien stood and moved Azriel to sit on the bed. With a quiet authority, he used two fingers to beacon you over to him. “Lovely, I want you to undress him for us.”

“Yes sir,” Your hands went to the clasps around Azriel's wings, undoing them while you kissed the side of his neck. Once the back was able to free his wings, you moved in front of him, hands running over the smooth fabric before pulling the shirt off.

You had to resist the urge to lick every dark bargain tattoo to trace each swirl like you knew Azriel loved. Lucien had given you a task. One you had to focus on. Your hands went to his pants, and he stood to allow you to slide them and his underwear down. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock. It was hard, leaking, ready. Lucien grabbed you by the back of your neck, stopping you from what you desperately wanted to do. “Hands and knees on the bed. You have to be good to earn his cock.”

Azriel watched you obey in silence. Lucien wasn't forcing. He wasn't rough, and he didn't have you screaming and drooling. He just commanded and used gentle touches, and you obeyed. “Do you want to get her ready, or do you want me to?”

“I will,” Azriel ran a hand over your ass and Lucien stopped him before he could spank you.

“Be gentle with our girl. She's been such a good listener. She deserves soft tonight.” Azriel could hardly understand what that meant, what being soft in bed meant. “Submission is a gift. Look at how easily she handed us that present. Doesn't she deserve to be treated well for being such a good girl?”

Azriel felt a wave of something setting in. If he was good, would he get a reward? Would he get to be loved this gently? He ran a finger through your core, making you cry out, and slowly, he pushed it in. You felt your eyes roll as he did, feeling yourself stretching around just his finger.

You had always told Azriel how much you loved his scars, and it took him fingering you 3 times for him to find out why. He began to open you slowly, pressing each movement in the area he knew you loved the most. Lucien leaned down and captured Azriel's mouth in a long overdue kiss.

This is what they needed the whole time. And outlet to their mutual attraction. A place they could safely explore each other. Lucien began to stroke Azriel's cock as Azriel added another finger inside of you. Your moans and cried were background music to them as Lucien pulled his mouth away. “Do you want her pussy or her mouth? I'm more than happy to just watch you fuck her while she sucks me off.”

Azriel hummed, “She's more than capable of handling-”

“She wants one of us in her mouth. We've had enough sex at this point while you've been enjoying the pleasure houses that I know her. If she was in the mood for anal, she'd be very vocal about it.”

Azriel's fingers pressed hard into your gspot, making you scream his name. “Please. I need more. I need-”

“Don't beg,” Azriel growled at you. Lucien glared as you whimpered in submission. “I also know her. Look at how wet and ready she is. She could handle it.”

“It's not a question of can or can't, Az. It's if she wants to. Y/n, what do you want?”

Azriel felt your core Tighten around him, pleased Lucien cared about your wants and needs. “Not anal,” Lucien motioned towards you after your answer.

“If you let me pick, I'm taking her mouth,” Lucien said plainly.

Azriel huffed and nodded, “I've never been this gentle with her.”

“Clearly. She loves it. Look at her.” It was true you did. You were relaxed in a state of complete bliss, moaning as Azriel's fingers touched all the best places. Azriel was memorized by the sight. By you not bending and breaking to his will as a dom, but flowing and thriving under another male's. You listened without question, didn't mouth off to Lucien. This side of you, this pretty girl, he liked her almost as much as he loved his little brat.

He loved the part of you that sassed him, that pushed him, but this, this beautiful offering of whatever they wanted as long as you wanted it as well, it made his heart flutter. Azriel moved behind you as Lucien moved in front of you. Your hand was instantly on the Day Court heir’s cock, stroking him in time with Azriel's fingers. “Whenever you're ready, Az,” Lucien was staring into your eyes as he spoke. “She's ready.”

Azriel took his fingers out, coating himself in your essence before lining up with you. Taking Azriel was always a stretch, and Lucien praised you both all the way through it, “Look at how good you two are. Perfect little pets for me, aren't you?”

Azriel groaned at his words as he began a gentle but deep pace. He hit every spot so perfectly filling you like your body had been made for him. You focused then on Lucien's aching cock, moaning as you licked your way up and took the head into your mouth. Lucien relaxed on his knees, wrapping your hair in a makeshift ponytail and he guided you in time with Azriel.

It did not take long for the pace to get frenzied, for the two males to be focused in bringing you to completion again in order to allow them to chase their own highs.

Each moan around Lucien had his head falling back, and each twitch of your core had Azriel cursing. You could feel heat rising and building. You could feel core lower stomach getting tight in need.

Azriel looked to Lucien and the male smirked and nodded. You screamed as Azriel began pounding into you. His thrusts became rough and deep. He arched your back more allowing him to hit your gspot over and over as he pushed you further onto Lucien's cock.

Lucien smirked down at you, “This is when you look prettiest, you know that? Choking on a cock, stuffed full. You look so pretty when your eyes glaze over and you get desperate. You want to cum, don't you angel?” You could only moan around him in response as Azriel grabbed your arms, leaving you fully at their mercy and forcing your muscles to strain.

The heat in the room grew to a roaring fire as the noise of slick and skin meeting skin rang in the air. You could feel that boil threatening to burst, feel it aching as you were used by the two males you love. This was heaven. It was safety. It was burning passion. A shadow moved to your clit and you lost it. Moan became whines and whimpers.

You could tell Lucien was close. His eyes were screwed shut. His pace in your mouth was sloppy. Between your tongue, the vibrations of your pleasure, and newness of the 3 of you together, you could feel him twitching, feel him ready to release.

He held you to him as he came, and Azriel continued pounding. You swallowed every drop of him greedily and whined as he pulled out. “She's so close,” Lucien forced you to look at Azriel.

Your mate smirked before planting one foot on the bed and his pace became impossibly faster. Both males laughed as your eyes rolled in pleasure and your jaw fell open. Azriel groaned loudly as you tightened around him, “That's our good girl. Cum for us. Finish on my cock.”

With a flick of a shadow and one well aimed thrust you fell apart, screaming as you tumbled from that edge. Azriel immediately lost himself in the feel of you pulsing around him and found his release moments later, listening as Lucien praised you and talked you through your high, guiding you back to them.

You collapsed into Lucien's lap and Azriel into your back. The room was filled with the sounds of labored breathing. Azriel gently pulled out of you and Lucien took the towel the house summoned to clean you all off.

You had never been more thankful for a large bed in your life as the three of you laid there processing what had happened. “This is happening again,” you declared firmly. Lucien just nodded, and Azriel agreed softly.

"I've never handed over control," Azriel confessed softly. "I've never done that."

Lucien just smirked at his accomplishment, "Then, with me is a safe place to learn."

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pearl-tarotist · 1 year

Text

* ༺ Your beauty ༻ *

In this tarot reading I will describe the beauty that you have and I will mixed it with some poems, things, feelings and situations that remind me of you.

Disclaimer: I do not consider beauty only as physical attributes.

She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes...

PILE 1

Dear Pile 1,

Your beauty is sweeping and easily strikes the eyes of others at first glance. Your presence is strong as a furious river, people enjoy the scene and they are in awe at it. But the strength that the river has dissolves when they try to cage the water.

Your beauty is natural and pure as the liquid that gives us life; it cannot be replicated or forced at the will of others, it just comes from you, your presence and your soul. It's not the material but the energy that shapes it.

You are passionate, energetic and pure, what in the words of Sylvia Plath would be translated as “I am too pure for you or anyone", from the poem "Fever 103°.

In the same way as the damsel in distress when sad or overwhelmed, you hide yourself in the highest tower or in the lowest cave. Your beauty can just be encased by your own hand...and you do. Your fear that the show of your real self to the world will end in a lose of stability. You hide because you feel that showing your true nature and sweet but passionate soul will destroy your own world and the relationship that you have with others.

You hide under the presence of a basic person, fashion-like or behaviourally-like, but you beauty shines in the unconsciously curves of your cheeks and lips. There's something pleasuring and round about your lips that make your words sweeter and gentler than average. There's something about your back and position that could be beautiful too, stand straight and let other see you.

Your passionate and in that passion you are sweet and cute, just like the childish heroine of a story that never gives up.

Long legs, baby-like face, pouty lips, soft skin, limitless strength, adventures that you want to live and the passion when you speak half-baked of them. I'm not going to lie, for some, your beauty resides in your bad states, when they can take care of you as if you were something to fix or defend, but I do not think that's your beauty but what others find themselves attracted to.

Your beauty is not equalled to their attraction.

Stuff that reminds me of your beauty:

A Poem: My head a moon /Of Japanese paper, my gold beaten skin / Infinitely delicate and infinitely expensive. (Poem fever 103).

The flowing of a mighty river surrounded by grass.

The shaking pale hand of someone that has fought and won.

The elegant makeup of the Geishas.

The warm caresses of a loved one.

Knight of wands/5oW/The Chariot/10oC/5oP/4oS

PILE 2

Dear Pile 2,

You get things done. You are full and complete on your own, independent and capable. There's nothing that you can not resolve, you are efficient, strong and powerful. A scopio, pluto dominant or 8th house energy on your natal chart?

You are so beautiful on your own, so successful and victorious. Your willpower and your resistance towards adversity have created the most polished part of yourself, just like a diamond. If I have to be honest, it's not just your resistance but also your search of fights for truth and new adventures. The need to discover new things.

You are openminded and know that with a simple and small discovery, the perception of your reality can change in seconds, that's why, often, you feel that you do not belong to places or "homes" but that you are your own home. Your ideas and mental world is the only place you should be comfortable with.

There's also a characteristic of foreigner to your beauty, you could travel a lot or be "exotic" to others, in the sense of being different from them, physically and mentally. You are not a copy of the current societies but a mix of everything (past, present and future) and that's why others are intrigued by you, they want to learn about this composition. I would bet for a little bit of aquarius is in your natal chart, I guess.

You are clever and curios about everything what makes other being intrigued by you as they do not know what to expect. They can not tag you in one social group, you are way more than just that.

You do things with security, your hands do not shake in front of others and I would say that you are also quite social as you want to learn about everything, like a bee that goes from flower to flower, you go from person to person.

Piercing eyes, beautiful eyebrows, a nice chest, some of you could have a voluptuous body, an accent when speaking, and knowledge that extends for miles.

Stuff that reminds me of your beauty:

The sword of Arthur Pendragon, Excalibur.

The satisfaction after a job well-done.

The mist of the forest before the faes appear.

“For she had eyes and chose me.” (William Shakespeare, Othello)

"fuck it I love you" by Lana del Rey.

The World/ The Chariot/ The Fool/ Knight and king of Wands/ King of Swords

PILE 3

Dear Pile 3,

I fear that some of you are unable to see your own beauty. The cards that I got are unpeaceful and represent fights and loses.

Nevertheless, let's start with the reading. Your beauty is different from the rest, I like the way that you do not want to be exactly like the others. I applause you for not following the trends, the viral products and the fast-clothing industry. Your best quality is the uniqueness and respect for your natural state. Somehow, I believe that this is also one point of hurt for you, because you are not like the others, so you feel less...but, in my opinion, it lifts you higher than others.

To have an opinion of your own under a society that push us more often to have a single mindset is of respect and admiration.

Following the last idea, you are someone with spark, with cleverness, someone that has great ideas and potential that you can develop endlessly. You are a pool of ideas full of different points of views that need growing and development, a little bit of Gemini/ Sagittarius energy on your natal chart, no?

These ideas are not developed to the end, I think you jump around and start a lot of ideas that do not end up in a solid project, but that does not stop you from enjoying it nevertheless. I feel that there's two types of people: the ones that focus on just one thing and the ones that know a bit about everything. You are the second one, and in it resides your beauty.

Curious, fighter, powerful, with potential and creativity. Soft and uniform skin, probably short height but with a good posture, hands that are warm and search for the touch of others, lover of animals, young but wise. You may decorate your hair with caps, bows or similar. That's your beauty.

Stuff that remind me of your beauty:

Jeanne d'arc - Albert Lynch

The soft fur of animals like a horse or a deer.

The coldness of a knife close to the neck of the main character carried by their "enemy". (Enemy to lovers AU fr).

The endless routine of the sun (sunrise and sunset).

The smell of an old book.

5oS/2oW/The Tower/ 8oS/7oW/Page of Pentacles

This reading belongs in exclusivity to @pearl-tarotist.

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 6 months

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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 10: How Did It End Up Like This?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter ten of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 6K

Warnings: References to sex, Kind of depressing, Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, this one is really sad y'all, like REALLY sad, I'm serious this one is really sad.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

**********************************************

1980

“Ben, stop.” You shout.

“Move damn it!” Ben’s eyes blaze a dark green sending a tremor down your spine, but you don’t budge.

“No.”

“Get the fuck out of my way.” He snarls louder.

You stand defiantly in front of him, where he towers over you, eyes narrowed, and shoulders tensed. His broad shoulders block the fluorescent lights that hang overhead and illuminate the gym, dramatizing his imposing figure.

“I’m not going to. So you’re either going to have to move me yourself or you can go cool off.” Your retort your voice icy.

The heat from Ben’s anger vibrated through the air between you, but you weren’t going to move. Not when he was being ridiculous.

Noir was angry, angry that Ben took a movie role that he wanted. In hindsight you also thought it was ridiculous that Ben needed to star in all the movies. He was already America’s First Superhero and the Golden Boy and America’s Sweetheart, but it wasn't enough for him for some reason. You often thought his obsession with fame had something to do with his dad. Ben had a lot of problems when it came to his father, all of which made Ben compensate other ways, such as, feeling the need to be in charge, feeling the need to be loved and accepted by others he didn’t know, being unable to express his emotions, and the current problem which was feeling the need to claim the dominant role as most popular superhero.

Aka when he turned into Captain Toxic Masculinity.

Honestly, you were exhausted. All of this was exhausting. Ben was exhausting. As someone who’d loved him this long you couldn’t help but see the shift from the boy you used to know into something unrecognizable. Occasionally you could see Ben, the old Ben, your Ben, who laughed with you, but those moments were few and certainly didn’t happen in public.

You shoulders tense with the force of your own anger and frustration, standing tall between Ben and Noir who lays on the ground behind you. Noir hadn't made an effort to get up, still stunned from the blows he took from Ben. The first few punches you hadn’t stopped, but it was when Ben felt the need to continue despite Noir’s pleas to stop that you had to step in.

You didn’t know where that came from, Ben’s need to beat people who were conceding. When he was younger you'd seen Ben get in a fight before, but those few times he hadn't continued to beat the other person when they gave up. The smell of whiskey and reefer floats off his clothes and you wonder how much he’s had to drink. Ben had two moods when he was drunk angry or clingy, and right now the anger was winning. You could hear the mad pump of his blood through his body and you wonder what else he might have taken today.

Because whiskey and reefer isn't enough? If he wasn't so damn indestructible he'd probably be dead from overdose.

Ben’s lip is curled back in a sneer, eyes flashing from where Noir lays on the ground then back to you. You know that he's ten seconds away from ripping Noir in half, and that's why you don't move. Noir didn't deserve that.

The way Ben's eyes burn through the space between you is hauntingly familiar as the memory of the night you hid Ben from his father settled over your mind. You fight the shudder at the comparison.

Ben wasn’t anything like his father. The thought is immediate, but then the memory of the past forty years begins to settle over your mind. Or maybe he was.

“Fucking pussy. Having a woman stand up for you.” Ben snaps at Noir.

Ben leans around you to spit at him, then raises his gaze back to you one more time before he stomps off, slamming the door of the gym so hard that it breaks the glass.

You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Everyone on Payback was watching you like you were crazy and you partly were. Getting in between Ben and someone else was beyond stupid. It wasn’t the first time, but you knew that you were the only person that could do it. If Countess or Gunpowder had stepped in Ben would not have relented. It had to be you. It always had to be you.

And you hated the weight of that burden on your shoulders.

You turn towards Noir, holding out a hand to help him up. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He sighs taking it . “You didn’t have to do that.”

“He’s just being… well. Him.” You mutter.

You hated that this was the new harsh reality, the new Ben that was born when he took the serum and became America’s First Superhero.

“It was incredibly stupid.” Countess sniffs from where she stands with the TNT Twins. Gunpowder is leaning back against the outer ring with Mindstorm who stares unblinkingly at you.

“Well, guess I took a page out of your book then.” You say, narrowing your eyes at her.

You couldn’t stand her. Ever since she joined Payback all she’d done was try to catch Ben’s eye and get between the two of you, but he never gave her the time of day. She had quickly won the favor of everyone else on Payback, which only made you even more angry because it always seemed like you were the odd one out wherever you went.

Countess only sneers back in response, flipping her red hair over her shoulders. Despite Ben's exit the tension in the room is almost choking. Your so-called team was watching you with unreadable expressions and you suddenly got the impression that you were trespassing or interrupting. It had happened before, when you came to a training session early and you walked in on the rest of the team, sans Ben, talking in hushed tones and they immediately broke apart when you appeared.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that despite the fact you stood between Ben and Noir, the rest of the team still didn’t like having you there. Probably because they associated you with Ben. It made you uneasy.

Because despite Stan’s efforts to keep you all together Ben's continuous outbursts drove you all further and further apart. And you worried what would happen the day when the shoe finally dropped.

*************************************

One look at the clock on your wall showed that it was almost one in the morning, but you weren't tired. All you could think about is what almost happened to Noir. It wasn't that you particularly liked anyone on Payback other than Ben, honestly the whole superhero thing was getting tedious and you had considered more than once getting out.

But you couldn't. Sometimes you felt responsible for Ben, like you were the only thing keeping him on the straight and narrow. Of course every single damn day that road was getting narrower and narrower and now it was more like a balance beam than a two way street.

Ben's new outlook on life that revolved around drugs, women, more drugs, and more women didn't make it easier.

You frown at your sketchpad remembering when Ben founded Herogasm. You'd gone the first time, regretted walking through the door, stayed ten minutes, and then left.

Sex without feelings never appealed to you, but that wasn't why you left, it was watching Ben with other women that hurt you. You could barely get through it when he mentioned something in passing, but watching him there with them made you uncontrollably angry and not to mention frustrated. You didn't understand him, couldn't understand why Ben was different around you. Didn't know why whenever you were alone he would give you hope, just to take it all away again.

How could so much change? How could everything go to shit so quickly?

You think of all the years that followed the night that Ben asked you to come with him, how you thought that Ben was telling you that he loved you in his own way. But he didn’t. You were realizing that now, as painful as it was to admit to yourself, Ben only saw you as a friend, would only ever see you as a friend.

When you decided to come with him you thought that the change would be your friendship into something else, but it never came, the only thing that changed was Ben.

A loud banging at your door makes your entire apartment shudder and pulls you out of your memories of the past.

There's only one person who can do that.

Your home was a small two-bedroom apartment in New York City, but you loved it. It was quaint and comfortable and each time you came home you felt relaxed because you were able to shut out the life you lived everyday. The small kitchen was barely big enough for two people to stand in, but it made it more intimate and cozy. The living room had a soft leather couch, but no tv despite Ben’s complaints that you should get one. He hated that you couldn’t watch his films when he came over. You liked listening to music more anyway. Your collection of vinyl lined the living room wall in clean bookcases next to a small record player. The spare bedroom served as your studio, not that you were trying to sell your art, but because you needed a place to exist where you weren't a supe and where you weren't in love with Ben. There were stacks of sketchbooks in the studio closet from when you were a child, but you couldn't bear to get rid of them. Sometimes you imagined living here with Ben, cooking in the small kitchen while he read the newspaper, lounging on the couch and listening to music together, and falling asleep on his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around you.

You sigh, pushing away the warmth of the thought, and wave your hand to telekinetically unlock the front door behind you. The familiar purple glow from your abilities fills the apartment. Ben had a key, but you figured he just wanted to make an entrance.

Always the drama queen.

“Got anything to drink?” He asks as he enters the living room.

You glance over the back of the couch to look at him. He's more casually dressed now, wearing a pair of jeans and a green t-shirt the same color of his suit.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d stop by, see if you’re still pissed.”

“As I recall it was you that was pissed.” You roll your eyes at him.

“Only because you were getting in my way Sweetheart” The way he says your nickname is harsh and mocking, so different than the way the old Ben used to say it. When it sounded genuine, caring, almost special.

“Because you were about to rip Noir apart!” You gesture with the pencil in your hand, snapping your sketchpad shut.

“That pussy deserved it. Thinking he was better than me. I’m fucking Soldier Boy and he’s nothing more than a-“ Ben scoffs rolling his eyes.

“Ben I can’t do this if you’re gonna be like this right now.” You interrupt pinching the bridge of your nose with your fingertips, still annoyed from earlier. You hated that he did that, when he made you feel like his babysitter, when he made you feel like you had to make apologies for him.

“Like what?”

“High, drunk, acting crazy-“

“I’m not acting fucking crazy!” He snaps.

“Ben-“ You begin with a sigh.

“Fine.” He spits. “We don’t have to fucking talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Thank you.” You wave a hand haphazardly towards the kitchen. “There should be some whiskey in there somewhere. Though I don’t think you need anything else to drink.” Your nose wrinkles as you inhale, the smell of stale alcohol wafting back, followed by the unmistakable scent of perfume and sweat.

The super senses really sucked sometimes. Smelling the women that Ben had sex with was an unfortunate skill you had acquired.

“Fuck off.” He rolls his eyes, but waits for a minute eyeing you. “You’re not going to get it for me?”

You ignore his sharp tone and turn back to your sketchpad. “Nope. I don’t want to enable you.”

Ben stomps into your kitchen. It's immediately followed by the loud banging of him searching the cabinets for booze.

He should know where it is, spends enough time here.

“If you break anything, you’re going to fix it.” You shout opening your sketchbook back to the page you were on. You were drawing the Philadelphia of your youth, the familiar streets, the cars, and the women dressed in beautiful outfits.

“My hands are better suited for other things Sweetheart.” You hear him mutter under his breath and you try not to snap your pencil in half. His taunt made you think about Herogasm and the scent of perfume on his skin, and that was the last thing you wanted to think about.

Ben comes back and slumps onto the couch beside you, a large whiskey gripped in his hand. He sighs loudly to get your attention when you don't look up from your drawing.

"Alright, what is it?” You ask continuing to draw.

"Nothing.” He grumbles drinking from his glass.

“Ben, I’ve known you for over fifty years I can tell when you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset.”

“Well I doubt it’s over what you said or did to Noir today. So what is it? What are you not upset about?”

"I just thought it would be different." Ben swirls the glass in his hands.

"What?"

"Being on Payback."

"What do you mean?" You continue to sketch the shape of a woman walking down the streets.

"When I first started doing all this fucking superhero shit it was different. Felt like I was promoting something, now it kinda feels like I’m just here. And no one respects me.”

“They’re not going to respect you if you keep threatening them and beating up whoever pisses you off.” You mutter.

“They might.” He snaps.

They won't.

"Well the way things are going with Russia I’m sure there will be another war." You sigh, thinking about the recent newspaper headlines. Everything was devoted to the Cold War, everyone was afraid of what Russia was doing or what they were planning. Stan Edgar and Legend were talking about some Anti-Communist campaign videos and posters that they wanted you to pose for, but you weren't sure you wanted to.

"You think so?" He sounds optimistic.

"I’m not gonna hope for one, but probably. I get it though. You’re doing all those movies and premieres and photo shoots, it doesn't feel real."

It was exactly how you felt. You felt that all this supe shit was coming to a head and what did you have to show for it? A few pictures of you holding up a car or a painted caricature of you on the side of a jet or a short film with stupid prerecorded lines that made no sense and even more ridiculous outfits that Legend tried to get you to wear. When you got the serum with Ben you thought you’d be contributing something to society, but no. It was just like when you were a child, dressed up like a China doll, made to be looked at but never used.

"I like those movies."

"I’ve noticed." You breathe remembering earlier when Ben almost killed Noir over the movie role.

Noir technically started that, but Ben just took it way too far.

"What about you?"

The question catches you off guard. “What about me?”

"You haven’t done any movies lately. Legend said that you turned down a few films." Ben takes a swig from the glass in his hand.

"Aren’t you afraid that I’ll steal some of your thunder Soldier Boy?” Your taunt. “Because I already saw what you tried to do to Noir today. And I’d rather you not beat me to a pulp-“

“You’re not like Noir. You’re different.”

“Mhmm. Sure.” You sigh rolling your eyes at him.

Ben sits there for a minute. You can feel his gaze on you. “I’d never hurt you y/n.”

The softer cadence of his voice makes you pause your pencil against the page. You knew it was true. Even when Ben was pissed off it was the line he never crossed. Ben never touched you when he was angry, but it never made it any easier to deal with him.

“Hey.” Ben whispers to get your attention, but you continue to look down at your paper. “Look at me.” His thumb comes under you chin to lift your eyes to his.

“You know that right?” Ben’s gaze is soft, you hadn’t expected it to be given the way he entered you apartment and his sullen mood. “You know that I’d never hurt you?”

The look in his eyes makes your throat tight, makes you see the Ben you used to know, who promised to look out for you and who promised to be strong for the both of you. And it hurts more than you thought it would, because you weren't sure that boy was still there.

“Yeah. I know.” You nod, but you don’t smile. You knew it was what he wanted to hear. “You’ve been talking to Legend about me?” You say to make the warm feeling of his touch fade.

He shrugs satisfied with your response, the softness fading from his eyes as he drops his hand. “I was worried.”

You fold your legs up under you. “I don’t know, I didn't love any of the scripts. And I’ve been thinking about getting out. I’ve been doing this so long-"

It was the first time you'd said it aloud to Ben. You'd mentioned it once to Legend and then made sure he never said anything about it. You weren't sure how Ben would react to you leaving.

"What?" Ben's eyes widen in surprise.

"Come on Ben, you’re telling me that you don’t want to have a normal life? Meet someone, have some kids, settle down? We’ve been doing this shit for years. Doesn’t get any easier."

"Sometimes.” He smirks at you. “So who’s the guy?”

“What?” You raise your eyebrows in confusion.

“The guy you’re going to settle down with.”

“What makes you assume that I’ve met him?”

“I mean, I’ve never seen you with anyone. And I’ve never walked in on you fucking anyone. Plus, you never come to Herogasm-“ Ben pauses. “It’s not Noir is it? Is that why you were protecting him today?”

“No.” You scoff, shading the side of a building to avoid his gaze, because how do you tell him that you met the only person you’d ever wanted when you were 8 years old?

“Good.” Ben drinks from his glass. “I do think about it sometimes.” He says it quietly.

“Huh?”

“The house, having a few rugrats.” He shrugs. “Might be nice.”

“Yeah.” Your throat is tight imagining Ben with someone else like Countess, sitting at his wedding, watching him say those vows to someone else. You didn't think you'd be able to just sit there if it came to that.

“How about you and I get married?” He says it nonchalantly.

You roll your eyes. You knew he didn’t mean it. He was just saying it to joke with you like always. Ben never saw you that way, you were realizing that more and more each day, even though it hurt to think it.

“We’d kill each other before we say I do.” You quip staring down at the page.

“Maybe. But really, we’ve known each other long enough-“

“That’s not a reason to get married. Plus, we both know that you’re not a one woman kind of guy and if you're actually being serious about this it would mean that you would have to change-“

You think about it. If Ben actually did want to commit, could he do it? His wandering eyes and hands would drive you crazy if he finally did want to start a relationship. You definitely did not want an open relationship. You wanted Ben to be wholly yours as much as you would be his, because you knew that if you devoted yourself to Ben, he would probably cheat, but then be furious if you spent any amount of time with someone else. You remembered all the ways he acted around Howard. Ben was crazy around him, and you and Ben hadn’t been together.

Imagine what he would do to someone else if we were.

“I can be a one woman kind of guy-“ Ben scoffs. “I can do anything.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” You mutter, but you know he can hear you.

Ben puts down his glass on your coffee table before his hand lays on top of yours against the sketchpad in you lap.

“Y/n.” He whispers. You can smell the whiskey on his breath, but you don’t look up at him, you can’t. Because you know as soon as you look into his eyes you’ll do whatever he wants.

But you didn’t want to be his consolation prize. You didn’t want Ben to marry you because he was bored, drunk, and he thought he might as well marry you. You wanted Ben to marry you because he was 100% head over heels for you as much as you were for him.

He tilts your chin upwards to look at him. Electricity thrums in your veins when you lock eyes, the look in his gaze is open, gentle, almost tender.

It reminds you of the boy you used to know. Lately you hadn’t seen him. If you were being honest, you hadn’t seen him much since the night he came to ask you to come with him, before the serum, when you thought he finally realized that he wanted you as much as you wanted him.

The only time you’d see the real Ben was when it was just the two of you, not the angry, macho, vengeful fighter for justice that he put on whenever he was in front of the team or in front of the cameras. You didn’t understand that. He said that showing emotions made him less of a man, but he never seemed to have a problem being different when it was just the two of you.

You hated that. In those quiet moments you felt your heart clench tight in your chest because each time you thought that he would finally admit that he loved you, that after all these years you were the one.

But he never did.

“I could change.” Ben whispers. “I could be with one woman.”

“Ben.” You take in a deep breath to clear your head, fighting the ball of emotion that has begun to burn at the back of your throat. “You’re drunk.” You breathe.

He blinks a few times as if he can’t comprehend what you're saying.

“You always get like this when you’re drunk. You know?” You pull back from where his hand rests on your chin. “But you can stay if you want. There’s some pizza in the fridge and I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed.” You stand and step around him, the urge to cry building in your chest.

“Okay.” Ben whispers to the air, because you're already gone, fleeing down the hallway before he can see you cry.

When you step into the shower you allow yourself to break. The soft sobs drowned out by the sound of running water. You wished you could move past this, all of this and more importantly you wished that you hadn’t fallen in love with him.

Memories of the past lodge themselves in the back of your throat. You remember the day he begged you to come with him to get the Compound V injection, when you left your life behind and chose him. You thought that was his way of saying he loved you, that he couldn’t live without you. You were wrong. It hurt to admit that, but you were wrong. Ben didn’t try to build on the relationship you had, he kept it the same, the friendly banter, the hugs, hanging around with you whenever he couldn’t stand to be alone. He still slept over, but that’s all that happened. You thought that day meant something, that it was the beginning of something, some wonderful romanticized future filled with warmth and love.

You never thought it would be like this.

You didn’t regret going with him often, but on nights like this when it was late and Ben was drunk and he acted differently you did. Because it made you think that there was a chance of a future with him, but then when he woke up the next day sober, it started all over again with him being short tempered and a dick to everyone who was around him.

It was exhausting. And you didn’t know how much more of it you could take.

The only thing you regretted about the serum was that it made you immortal, invulnerable, and that meant whoever you decided to make a life with would die. There was only a handful of others like you and you hadn’t liked any of them except Ben. You wondered if this was your penance for saying no to Howard, your mother's last laugh when she said that Ben would never choose you and now you had to go on like this forever.

You remember the fear that you would be trapped in a marriage with Howard, you never thought that you'd feel trapped with Ben.

But now…

When you walk back into your bedroom, Ben’s already in your bed, laying on his back, smoking a blunt and looking at the ceiling. He's wearing a pair of sweatpants, that you bought him forever ago so he didn't have to sleep in his jeans, and the same t-shirt as before.

“What did I say about smoking those in here?” You sigh, getting into bed beside him, but being careful as to not touch even though it’s all you want.

“It’s a free country doll.” Ben mutters, but he puts it out in the ashtray that you left for him on the bedside table. Because you knew that he would continue to do it even when you told him not to.

The amount of times he ended up here at night always surprised you. Ben might have been bed hopping, snorting, and drinking himself into a stupor but the amount of times you woke up with him in bed next to you was astounding. He’d let himself in with the key you made him for emergencies while you were asleep. It was almost like he didn’t sleep in his apartment anymore and you hated how much you depended on him being there in the morning when you woke up. But the truth was, Ben was all you had, and the thought of losing him scared you. Which meant you continued to put up with the man he became, trying to hold tight to the image of the boy he used to be.

You lay on your back beside him, looking up at the ceiling. The inch of space between your bodies is almost too obvious. “I’m going to go to Philadelphia for a few days.” You breathe.

“Why?”

“My brother isn’t doing too well. His son called.” You say, your throat thick. “He said he thinks that it’s time.”

Your parents had passed a few years ago and Ben had gone to the funerals with you. When Ben’s father had passed, he hadn’t gone to the funeral, he’d drowned himself in the 21st annual Herogasm. And after he showed up on your doorstep smelling like sweat, drugs, booze, and cheap perfume. You’d made him take a shower before getting into bed. The next morning you had woken up in his arms, but more surprising was the fact that he had woken up before you and hadn't pushed you away, in fact he had held you closer to him. You figured that he needed someone there with him. His father had done and said horrible things to Ben, and you kept him company if that’s what he wanted, but couldn’t admit it.

“I’m sorry.” His hand finds yours on the bed. The gesture surprises you.

“Yeah. But that’s the way it is now, I guess.” You whisper, squeezing it.

“What do you mean?”

“We don’t age. Everyone else does. Means that we’ll always just see everyone else go.”

“But not us.” Ben says it like he’s trying to cheer you up.

“Yeah.” You sigh.

Does that mean it’s always going to be like this? Me waiting for him to come here after a 24 hour non stop orgy or after he’s had one two many? Just because he can’t stand the thought of being alone?

You didn’t want that future. You knew that he wanted to be there with you, but it wasn’t enough and it wasn’t the same thing you wanted.

Maybe getting out of this would be good. Put some distance between me and him, let me try to find me again.

Ben is quiet for a minute, the only sound you hear is the thrum of the blood in his veins and his heart steadily pumping it.

“Do you want me to come?” He says it slowly, his thumb rubs against the back of your hand in a soothing motion.

The question breaks something inside of you, because you wanted nothing more than to have him there with you, but you didn’t want the version of Ben who was Soldier Boy, the loud, angry, short tempered version who was always high or drunk. The one that you felt that you needed to apologize for.

“Nah. It’ll be okay. I’ll get to see my great nephew. He’s supposed to be walking now.” You try to force cheeriness into your tone, but it doesn’t stick.

“Okay.”

You can’t help but wonder if Ben is hurt by your rejection. You did not often say no to him.

He doesn’t let go of your hand though, in fact he brings it up against his chest while he looks at the ceiling.

"Do you regret it?” Ben says in almost a whisper

"Hmm?”

“Coming with me.”

You pause for a second and think about lying, but finally settle on the truth. “Sometimes."

"Why?” Ben's voice rumbles against where your hand lays against his chest, and for a second you think he sounds almost pained.

"We’ve changed so much than who we were back then. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself.”

You didn’t want to say that it was him you didn’t recognize. Or that it always felt that you were running after the boy he used to be. The one that made you feel safe, comforted, made it feel like home.

"I don’t think change is a bad thing."

Of course you don't.

"It is if it’s in the wrong direction.” You whisper, but know he can hear you.

“So that’s why you want out? Because you don’t recognize yourself? Seems like a shitty reason."

“I just think it might be nice to try something new. I’ve been doing this for such a long time-“

“That’s why the films would be a good idea. If you want I can talk to the director about you being a co-star in the one we start filming next week. He won't say no to me-“ It was the closest you’d ever heard him come to pleading, besides the night he asked you to come with him to get the serum.

But why? Was it his way of keeping me with him? Was it because he didn’t want me to leave because he wanted me here? Or was it because he just wanted someone there to sit with when the silence was too much? The silence that seems to follow when he's not with me.

“Ben I’m okay. It’s okay I just want something different.”

“Like what?” You hand is still clutched in his where it rests over his chest and you can't help but wonder why. It was surprising. Sure Ben tolerated the occasional hug, but holding your hand for this long was unusual. You attributed it to the booze. When Ben got drunk he tended to be more clingy, he never admitted that, but you saw it.

“I don’t know. I just want a family again-“

“You have a family. You said you’re going to see your great nephew-" Ben says it like he doesn't want you to leave and it breaks something inside you.

How can he not admit that he cares about me? That he loves me? He has to after all these years doesn't he?

“I know. I mean I want a family. Someone to come home to every night, someone I love, someone who loves me-“ You fight to keep the frustrated tears from falling. The dream of him and you inhabiting your apartment together washes back over your mind in shades of gray. You wanted that so badly.

“Oh.”

“You don’t want that?” It’s taking everything for you not to tell Ben that you want it to be him, that you always wanted it to be him.

“Maybe.”

The silence grows between the two of you as you lay there and Ben still hasn't let go of your hand.

“Did you want to marry him?” He says after a few minutes.

“What?” You look at him confused. Ben isn't looking at the ceiling like you thought, he's looking at you. He almost looks, sorry. And you wonder again how much he's had to drink.

“That asshole." He clarifies.

"Howard?"

"Yeah."

“It’s been 40 years-“ You sigh as if it doesn’t matter. But it does. You chose Ben that night and you thought that him asking you to come with him meant that he was choosing you as well.

“Come on.” Ben squeezes the hand that rests against his chest.

“Why does it matter?"

“Because you’re saying you wanted a family. Someone to come home to and that pussy would have given it to you.”

You pause for a second trying to read his expression. “I like the idea of marriage. Of saying those vows to someone else.” You say slowly. “But I didn’t want to say them to Howard.” You don’t say that you wanted to say them to Ben, don’t say that the night he told you not to marry Howard you thought he was trying to tell you that he wanted to marry you instead.

“So you want to say them to someone?”

“Yeah. One day.” You frown, turning back to look at the ceiling. “You never want to say them to someone?”

Ben doesn’t answer immediately. “Maybe.”

Probably Liberty.

You sigh to yourself thinking about one of your least favorite supes that you’d come across. She wasn’t terrible, just pushy and into supes being united together. You also didn’t like that she felt that supes deserved to be worshiped, that supes were gods, but you knew you weren't. The powers were not random, the gifts were not given by God, they were given by the devil and all those deals came with a price. Even if you tired to walk away, you wondered if Vought would let you go. You also hated how much time Ben spent with her.

The thought of her leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and despite how good it feels, you pull your hand free from Ben's grasp and turn your back to him, cuddling into your pillow. Your grip is so tight on fluffy material you wonder how it hasn't ripped, but you need to stop talking to him. Talking to him when he was like this made it harder and right now it was taking everything not to cry again.

And you were just so tired of everything. You wondered if one day it would be different.

“Goodnight Ben.” You whisper.

“Goodnight.”

And just as you drift into a dreamless sleep, you think you feel him put his arm around your waist and pull your back into his chest, but when you wake up the next day you forget and Ben is gone.

*************************************************

n/a: Yeah, this chapter is really sad. And I wish that I could say it gets better, but honestly, it's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better. 😭😭😭

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126, @simplyfixated @sleepjam, @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts,@onlyangel-444

#soldier boy x you #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy/ben #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #jensen ackles #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #the boys series #the boys tv #soldier boy fic #jackles #the boys season 3 #the boys s3

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honeylemonteaasblog · 11 days

Text

A Little Too Much

inspiration: you were never too much and anyone who says you are should go find less

summary: your boys always got your back, wether it's from someone or the voices in your head

pairing: ot7 x reader

genre: a little angst but not much, a little fluff but not much (maybe too much…), healing journey

word count: 3 k

warning (not detailed): emotional abuse, implied violence [overprotective BTS with a you’re-my-entire-world-and-without-you-life-is-meaningless kind of love]

“What did you just say to her?” Namjoon’s voice was hard as it cut through the hallway. You wanted to peer around the man’s broad shoulders to see him, but the man tightened his grip to keep you in place. Your eyes still flickered back and forth in an effort to catch a glimpse of Namjoon though.

The man tossed Namjoon a look over his shoulder. “She your’s?” He spoke like you were just some procession to own. It was as if you were merely a thing hold. He hadn’t even bothered to look at you when he spoke, reinforcing the idea that you weren’t the one in charge of your own life. When his eyes found you again he was looking at your body. He never did meet your eyes. And that wasn’t out of respect, rather that they didn’t mean anything to him. Not like the rest of your body might.

“Let her go.” Yoongi’s voice rang out. Instead of Namjoon’s deadly, but calm question, Yoongi’s voice was all rage and power. His voice sounded like death personified. You shivered as memories of Yoongi’s dominating voice pass through your head. “I won’t ask again.” It’s like he was making a promise to violence.

You could hear their footsteps echo throughout the empty hall, but they didn’t seem close enough yet. You tried to peak around the man’s shoulder again, but he pushed you back causing your head to hit the wall. You let out a muffled yelp. The man didn’t even look towards you.

He shifted to look towards Namjoon and Yoongi, but didn’t let go of you. Instead he just pulled you along with him as if you were merely a doll that children were fighting over. His grip tightened and you knew that it was going to bruise.

Honestly, the fact that he thought that you were some thing to drag around hurt more than his grip. You felt your shoulders bow inwards. It was like you truly thought that if you were small enough he might forget you were there. You wanted him to let go of you, but you were too scared to move let alone say anything. And your head still hurt from hitting the wall earlier.

It probably wasn’t the best, but you had learned early on in life that men thought that they could take whatever they wanted— that they were entitled to take what they want— and the more you fought the worse it was. So no it wasn’t that you wanted to be in this situation, backed against a wall by a complete stranger, but it had also been ingrained into your head that if you went with it, it would hurt less.

It’s not fair to blame yourself for your trauma responses. It’s not fair to blame yourself for not doing better when you are simply trying to protect yourself in the only way you know how to. Despite that simplicity, it’s something that many people tend to forget.

In that moment you were reminded of a time when you had been taught that you needed to be less. You definitely needed to talk less, but it would also be good if you thought less too.

You hadn’t felt like a person in those moments. You didn’t feel worthy of anything or anyone. You didn’t feel like you were valued. Instead you felt like a thing that would be fought over but quickly tossed aside once they got bored. And you had a feeling that the man currently holding your arm in a bruising grip got bored very easily.

Needless to say that was before meeting the boys who had tried so hard to help you change those thoughts. But here you were, being thrown right back in. It hurts how little control we have over our own thoughts sometimes. It’s so easy to be swallowed up by the past.

You had always been told that you were too much. You were told that your love was suffocating. You were told that you tried too hard and it wasn’t a good look. You were told that you just needed to relax, as if it were ever that simple.

So you had also spent a lot of time trying to be less, all in an effort to make other people feel more comfortable. You shoved all of these pieces of yourself deep down into a tiny box buried within your heart. You could almost pretend like those pieces didn’t exist at all. At the time, you thought that if you pretended to be less, that you might be more likable— more palatable. And deep down all you wanted was to feel accepted. If you had to lose parts of yourself you thought that it may just be worth it.

Overtime, you had started to forget just how special you really were. You had been playing a part for so long that you actually started to believe all those toxic voices in your heard. The ones that would twist your reality and punish you for taking up space. You had begun to lose your sense of wonder and tended to see the world in more black and white than color.

You had started to feel like less of a person and more of a thing to be controlled.

And before you truly realized it, you were the one feeling uncomfortable, but no one else seemed to mind. No one had tried to make you feel comfortable despite you trying so hard for others. You weren’t comforted or hugged because that would require others to care about you, or at the very least notice.

Instead you were shoved to the side so people could pretend like you weren’t hurting. People don’t like to think about the fact that others are living their own lives, especially when people are in pain. For some reason, other people’s pain is an unbelievably uncomfortable thing for people to sit with; however, that really shouldn’t be a surprising revelation.

It wasn’t until the boys crashed into your life that your perspective changed. Since then the seven of them had made it their mission to fight off anything that told you should be less. Sometimes it ended in physical fights with the people who haunted your past. Other times, they had to settle for comforting words and cuddles in an effort to fight the voices in your head. For them, both were equally important.

They never wanted to you to feel uncomfortable again. They wanted to you to feel safe and happy, but they especially wanted you to feel safe and happy with them. Bonus points if it was while in their arms.

You flinched when the man behind you abruptly shoved you towards Yoongi and Namjoon, causing you to trip over your feet and fall forwards. They both lunged for you. He tried to run but you didn’t even bother looking, choosing to wrap your arms around Namjoon, who had reached you first. You buried your head in his neck and his arms tightened around your waist. You felt him press a soft kiss to the top of your head; it was a stark contrast to the harshness of the past half an hour.

With his arms around you, you felt safe. You always did with the boys. When they hold you, you feel like nothing could harm you. You liked to think that their hugs gave you bullet proof skin.

You could hear the man yelling behind you and Hoseok’s and Jin’s loud voices, but you decided you liked hiding in Namjoon’s embrace much more than facing whatever reality awaited you.

You’ve seen Hoseok’s deadly right hook before. You can imagine Jimin’s sadistic smirk as he plays with his switchblade. And Jin will be donning that unemotional mask that he likes to use to scare the people who threaten you. There is nothing as terrifying as not knowing what is going on in someone’s head.

Besides, Namjoon didn’t seem to mind holding you. If anything his grip tightened when the yelling started like he knew that the loud voices might upset you. So you held him tighter too.

You didn’t flinch like you normally would if you were to feel a hand rub along your spine, but it was gentle. And you think that deep down, when your being held by one of the boys, you know that they would never let any harm come to you. It’s not that you think that they would when you’re not in their arms, but you know they would never let anyone else close enough to touch you when you’re in their embrace. Well, anyone besides them that is.

They really are that possessive.

Taehyung pulls you out of Namjoon’s embrace who leaves an apologetic kiss on your forehead before heading over towards the others.

“Sweetheart, let’s go wait in the car.” Taehyung coaxes you towards the car while holding you to his chest like he’s worried that if one of them isn’t holding you, you might fall apart. He isn’t completely sure what happened before Yoongi and Namjoon got here, but he isn’t willing to take any chances.

None of them are when it comes to you, and your safety.

Jungkook is waiting in the car when the two of you get there. He quickly pulls you out of Taehyung’s embrace and further into the car. Well, more like into his lap. Your legs straddle his waist as you bury your face into his chest. You feel his chest rumble with his soft laughter and his hands come up to cradle your head and neck. You’re willing to bet that he’s trying to silently ask Taehyung if you’re okay over your head.

“Princess” Jungkook calls for your attention and you reluctantly look up at him. It’s not that you don’t love looking at his doe eyes, but you really loved hiding in his chest. Especially when he is laughing. “Let us take care of you, yeah?”

You love that he knows not to ask you if you’re okay. He can already guess that you’re not. And he doesn’t need you to confirm that for him.

You love that he doesn’t force you to talk about anything even though you are sure that he wants answers. He prioritizes your needs over the answers that may make him more comfortable. In that moment his comfort isn’t the one that matters.

Jungkook also knows that you aren’t used to having people to rely on. Too many people have told you that you’re emotions are too much and that you need to tone it down. So he knows that you may not want to rely on him, too worried about what they may think of you, but he also wants to smother those voices.

If he could physically touch those toxic voices they would already have broken necks.

“You can feel however you want to feel, Sweetheart.” Jungkook nods at Tae’s words. It hurts them to see the traces of emotional abuse that you’ve experienced. And it really hurts that they know that they’ll never be able to completely remove those thoughts. However, that doesn’t stop them from doing everything in their power to minimize those voices and provide as much reinforcement as they can.

“Princess.” Jungkook waits until you meet his eyes so you can see how serious he is. “You were never too much. And you never could be too much. I’m so sorry that people made you think that and that they turned your mind against you.” He presses a kiss to your temple as if it could heal your mind. It was something that the boys had all told you before, but you felt your heart swell every time they said it. It was probably why they kept telling you; they could see the way that their words impacted you.

“He’s right, Sweetheart. It was never your fault. We get that it’s really hard to acknowledge that, especially when it’s so much easier to blame ourselves. But it was never you.” His hands run up and down your spine and the repetitive movement makes you a little sleepy. But you can’t help but feel comforted by them.

“We know that it’s hard to believe that, but we’ll always be here to remind you.” Jungkook and Taehyung look at you with such determination that it makes some of those toxic voices in your head go quiet because when they look at you like that it makes you think that they’re right. It makes you think that it was never your fault no matter how many times you were told that it was.

You aren’t ready to fully believe that, the abuse has penetrated your mind too deeply for it all just to go away, but the more time you spend with your boys the more that you’re starting to see it the way that they do. It fills you with hope so even though you know that you’re not healed, you know that you are healing.

It is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

The boys wish that they could make it all go away with the snap of their fingers. They wish that they were able to fix all of your problems and remove any and all barriers to your happiness, but they also know that there are somethings that they can’t just fix for you. So, in those cases they stand by you, hold you, and encourage you because no matter what they will always be there to support you. They’re ten toes behind no matter what.

You smile at his words and pull your gaze away from Jungkook’s to smile at Taehyung. You watch him visibly brighten at your smile like you just gave him a shot of dopamine. They love when you smile. And most of the time, when you smile they can’t help but smile too. They will do whatever they can to make you smile like that.

You deserve the world and they would gladly serve it to you.

The others slide into the car with tense shoulders and angry expressions. When you spin around in Jungkook’s lap to see them, you swear that Jimin has blood on the cuffs of his dress shirt but before you can look closer he’s pulling you out of Jungkook’s lap and into his. “Baby, you scared me.”

You want to reassure him, but you aren’t quite sure how to explain yourself. Instead, you hug him back even tighter. He smiles into your neck which makes you smile too. It’s funny how despite everything Jimin can make you smile so easily. You love that he’s able to make you smile because you can remember a time when even smiling was exhausting. Now though, now it feels effortless around your seven boys.

“Let’s go home, Love.” Jin’s voice pulls your attention away from Jimin. He’s sitting in the passenger seat but turns around to look at you. You watch his eyes rake across your body checking to make sure you’re okay. You love that Jin never tries to hide how much he cares about you. He never tries to minimize his love for you.

He wants you to know that he wants you to be okay. And he would do anything to ensure it.

The boys let you live in your own little bubble for a while longer, but you also know that they’ll want to talk to you. They will want to check in with you because they know that in the past people haven’t cared enough to ask.

They never want you to feel like that again so they always make sure to check in with you. They never want you to suffer in silence ever again, not when they can do something about it. Some might call it overbearing, but they would do whatever they need to ensure that you feel seen. And until you ask them to stop they never will.

You remember asking Hoseok about it once, wondering why they were so protective. It had been when you were first getting to know them. He explained that everyone deserves to feel safe and protected. But he also told you that he likes feeling needed by you. He likes being able to protect you.

Not that he told you this, but the boys also love that shy look you get when one of them steps in or has your back because you haven’t quite realized that they’ll always defend you. A part of him wants to cry for you because someone made you feel like you were alone and that you didn’t have anyone to protect you. So no one can really blame the boys for going overboard. At least that’s what Yoongi always says with a smug smirk, but you catch the way his eyes soften whenever he looks at you.

It is difficult to find the balance between giving you space and never making you question if they care. They want to reassure you, but they also don’t want to overwhelm you. The eight of you are slowly finding that balance, but it’ll take some time.

You secretly love it though. Before the boys, people never showed that they cared so maybe it’s a little toxic, but you have your reasons. You love their overprotective nature that never wants you out of their sight because you’re their whole world. You love that they want to do everything for you, not because you can’t, but because they want to. You love that they will be at your side as soon as you ask because it’s their favorite place to be.

But in that moment of peace on the car ride home, you hug Jimin closer. You close your eyes and let yourself take a moment to see how you really feel because for the first time in your life you know that those feelings are valid. You no longer have to second guess or dull them so others aren’t uncomfortable. You know that the boys will accept you regardless.

You will never be too much for your boys and that makes you feel like you could do anything. You think, with them by your side, you could conquer the world.

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bbyquokka · 5 months

Text

1:30 pm (lmh)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | lee minho x gender-neutral reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | lovers to friends, timestamp, suggestive – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | lots of kissing, grinding, love bites, reader and minho are desperate (aka horny) for one another

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 0.9k ~ (923)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 | song inspiration for this lil piece below ! i hope u all enjoy ‹3 tysm for reading !! ‹3‹3

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

bodies pressing against each other. hands tangling in each other's hair. your fingers rake along his scalp whilst he tangles the strands of your hair around his fingers.

heavy pants and moans swallowed by one another. the desperation for more kicking in slowly but surely. you both pull apart for a brief second to allow oxygen to enter your lungs.

minho’s kiss bitten lips attaching themselves to yours once again giving you little to no time to gather your thoughts. the small space of the closet makes you both feel small and claustrophobic. the heavy bass of the music outside ringing in your ears.

all you care about is him. the man that is currently taking your breath away. his hands slide down your sides to hold your waist where he soothes and strokes you from over your clothing.

his body is pressing against you. his chest against yours, one leg between yours to keep your legs parted as you hover over his strong thigh. you grip onto his shirt, hot breath mixing together with saliva.

skin hot and sticky. the air is humid and suffocating from the small space. your heart thumping so heavy and hard, it rings in your ears and drowns out the background noise.

minho's hands dip under your clothing. his hot yet soothing and gentle fingers caress the skin of your sides causing goose bumps to rise to the skin.

it makes him chuckle. it makes him love that he still has that effect on you. his head tilts to the side to allow himself to deepen the kiss even more. his tongue gliding along your swollen bottom lip. as you part your lips to allow entrance for him, he pulls away slightly to speak

“missed you.” he mumbles against your lips. you whimper softly, unable to speak because he doesn't give you a chance. he takes advantage of your parted lips to slip his tongue past them to meet your own wet and hot muscle. they both collide and tangle, a battle for dominance which you loose. minho swallows every breath moan, every drop of saliva that spills from your lips.

to him, its like honey. you taste and sound so sweet to him. it makes him tingle with excitement and adrenaline to pump through his veins. his shaky hands move from your waist to the small of your back where he pulls you even closer to him.

you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. since the break up (which was on healthy terms), you've missed him more than ever.

right person, wrong time. the stars were just not quite aligned back then. both of you have different aspirations and goals. the beginning of the relationship was good but once the honeymoon period was over, you both found yourselves fighting over anything and everything due to stress and the pressure to maintain the healthy relationship, so when it turned unhealthy, you both mutually agreed to break up.

you'd rather have him as a friend and still in your life than not at all. the same applies to minho.

“minho..” you gasp as you feel his lips peppering soft and gentle kisses on your neck. he sucks and gently bites the skin, leaving small love bites. his crotch now pressing against you which allows you to feel how excited he is for you.

and if that was enough of a tell-tale sign, he slowly starts to rub himself against you.

“‘m sorry yn. it's been a while and i’ve missed you so much.” his hot breath fans against your hot skin, making you feel shivers.

he vowed to never get attached to you. he promised himself but one touch, one kiss was all it took for him to fall deep in love with you. you're all he ever thinks about. after the break up, he thought he'd be able to spend more time focusing on his dreams and goals but instead, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of you causing him to become severely distracted and desperate for you.

he slowly grinds and rubs against you. his head dipping and forehead resting on your shoulder as he pants heavily and desperately. like an animal in heat, he grips onto your waist with a small amount of force and his moans soon turn deep, long and frequent as he fluidly lets them slip past his lips.

you grip onto his clothing, desperation kicking in for the both of you as you grind and rub against one another. you match one another's tempo, moans mixing together and becoming one. minho kicks his head back a little, exposing his neck to you as his eyes flutter shut and lips part, hair sticking to his forehead and back of his neck.

“yn.. fuck, yn.” he moans softly. you close your eyes slowly, lips parting as you allow the pleasure to rush through your veins like adrenaline.

his touch, his sounds. it's all making you feel tingles. his nimble fingers that's caressing your skin is setting your skin on fire. his moans ring in your ears. the butterflies fluttering in your stomach make you feel giddy but also nauseous. everything about minho right now is making you feel dizzy. but strangely, you've missed these feeling.

as you open your mouth to speak, to beg and ask for more, to take this elsewhere due to the intense amount of lust and desire you both have, you're rudely interrupted by a knock on the closet door.

“five minutes is over!”

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psychotrenny · 1 year

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I really do think this is the end for Israel. The beginning of the end at least. They're essentially a relic of an earlier time, a time when, through a complex confluence of factors, the military power of Europe was so far beyond the rest of the world that it could openly keep the world in shackles. The Imperial powers of Europe could do as they wished and respond to any resistance with overwhelming violence that, no matter how costly in money or lives or how many years it took, would eventually force open resistance to come to a (temporary) end. You saw exceptions of course, such as Ethiopia's successful repulsion of Italian invaders in the 1890s (although even that victory is somewhat undercut but Italy's more successful invasion about 40 years later), but in the majority of cases even the most brave and intelligent of resistance fighters would see themselves worn down and defeated. Just off the top of my head you have figures like Samori Toure, Omar al-Mukhtar, Samuel Maharero; all inflicted numerous defeats on their European Imperialist enemies but in the end couldn't overcome the sheer force that was arrayed against them.

Of course such supremacy was never absolute even at it's apex, and this height was so very short lived. Resistance never fully stopped; outbursts of violence were frequent and various forms of passive resistance like migration, tax evasion and industrial slowdown were ubiquitous. Resistance movements learned from past failures, acquired the weapons of modern war and soon proved a credible threat to the Imperialist forces that by the middle of the 20th century had exhausted themselves through in-fighting. Whether evicted through direct violence or choosing to leave under the inevitable threat of it, the European powers largely ended their direct domination over the colonised world. That's not to say Imperialism was over, far from it, but it mostly took on subtler forms; more soft power with only the occasional resort to hard. Imperial domination is now more than ever exerted through various local proxies and the broader forces that keep them in check as direct subjugation just isn't especially viable.

In the parts of the world without substantial settler populations this withdrawal was accomplished smoothly enough; most of the Europeans present either left without a fuss or found some sort of niche under the new order of things. But the liberation of colonies with large settler populations was a longer and bloodier process; just compare the French withdrawal from Indochina to that from Algeria or the fate of Northern Rhodesia (now Zambia) to Southern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). A large number of Europeans were heavily entrenched in these colonies and had both their material wealth and sense of pride tied to the maintenance of white supremacy. Many politicians back in Europe were less willing to abandon such settler colonies, while with or without support from back home the colonists engaged in their own bloody wars of oppression against indigenous people.

But in the end they all fell. Algeria, Rhodesia, Angola, South Africa, the list goes on. Even as these places continue to suffer under the yoke of less direct Imperialism they can take pride knowing that the scourge of direct setter subjugation was defeated. Exploiting people is one thing; there are many ways you can accomplish this without the exploited truly catching on. But the sort of violence it takes to brazenly steal control of a people's land, settle yourself on it while keeping the original inhabitants as second class citizens is going to engender the fiercest resistance no matter what. The only remotely stable settler colonies are those where the indigenous peoples were already decimated by disease before being subjected to centuries of genocidal policies, reducing their current population to a small minority of the nation. And even then the survives continue to resist fiercely. In places where the settlers remained the minority there was simply no chance of such regimes surviving for long.

Israel as a state is among the last of its kind, and I see no reason why it shouldn't meet the fate of all other such colonies. The way I see it the end of Israel is inevitable. The only question is just how much bloodshed and suffering it'll take. The struggle has been ongoing for so very long. I truly hope that we're seeing the final stages of it, but I suppose only time can tell. All I know for sure is that from from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free

#stella speaks

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mtkay13 · 1 year

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Lord Zhou and the Ghost Valley Master Cross-posting because i'm just that wild, hah! /jk More about the art below! --and a little talk about WenZhou and their relationship to power (+ some meta).

So hum, it is no secret that I enjoy a bit of "spice" in WenZhou's dynamic and at times am very prolific on my nsfw twitter account.

Collars and leash stuff have been on and off, and I was recently enabled for more of that by friends going wild about ZZS on a leash, etc, etc. LBR: I don't think you need any reason to go feral about that kind of stuff--but seeing how I myself seemed to regress to the state of a wild horny beast while making this painting, I felt like I may need to adress it a little. Here are some of my thoughts about WenZhou & power:

WKX and ZZS are both men who are/were in a position of extreme power. Both rose to that position of extreme power, but from very different starting points and motivations.

ZZS was, from what we know from how he describes himself in TYK and from how he behaves in QY, a very smart, cocky, ambitious kid, who probably deliberately sold his services to HLY to keep rising. There were probably ideals mixed in that, but point is, ZZS desired that power, that influence, and was encouraged to reach it. Becoming a sect leader so young was probably a shock, but nothing indicates that this position wasn't wanted. ZZS also mentioned not having a physique as advantageous as ZCL's when he was a child; so he probably had to work hard to reach his goals. Point is: the power was desired and strived for.

WKX has, without a doubt, needed the power, without ever really showing any pleasure nor satisfaction in having it. Surviving in the GV =/= reaching the top; if anything, becoming the GVM put the largest target on his head--but it is likely that reaching the position of GVM was necessary for him to execute his plan (find the key, pull the right strings, obtain his revenge). WKX was a little genius who didn't want to study, and probably wasn't dreaming/aiming for power. Conclusion: the power was a necessity and a tool. Many various characterisation points/analysis/dynamics can be pulled from this, and it is quite interesting to explore how, later, their relationship to power can evolve, both re:the rest of the world and each other. For the following personal analysis, I also worked with the following points from the book:

ZZS admires WKX's strength and power

WKX seems to have multiple fantasies of control and domination

ZZS seems receptive to many of them (including the biting, the somno stuff, and the cnc suggestions)

WKX admires/envies/resents ZZS' freedom

ZZS has fun becoming a subversion of his past self (swearing, being gross, being ridiculous, being openly cocky)

WKX is a control-freak and is very patient

ZZS is a bit conservative

WKX quite the opposite

Now how does that bring me to ZZS on a leash for the GVM?

(note that this is my current conclusion, not the conclusion)

I like to think that on the one hand, ZZS is that man who sees himself as a man and enjoys a lot of things about masculinity. The power that he likes for himself, he also enjoys seeing it in someone else's hands--he likes fighting for it, but (and this is a very personal interpretation) I like to believe he gets the most thrills from being overpowered; because it shows how strong the other is, bc it subverts whom he is himself. The power he's fought to get, has had all his life, but ended up leaving him alone at the top, feels good when taken from him--or when there's someone strong enough that he isn't alone up there anymore. On the other hand, I feel like although WKX would benefit from relinquishing some control and power, he does enjoy using it in a personal, pleasurable way, rather than by necessity. While he probably likes toying with presentations, with appearances, and doesn't mind being perceived as the wife, as the more submissive one in their fake-traditional relationship play of husband and wife, having the power, holding the leash---simply out of pleasure and mutual satisfaction is, I think very cathartic and arousing for him.

But then, why precanon? For the aesthetic bc I'm a simp for TC!era ZZS. And because showing him so strong, so powerful, yet leashed, is kind of a reminder that... It's not about real power. It's not about who, between them, is the strongest, the most powerful, the winner or whatever. It adds that thrill, the aknowledgement that this is out of freewill and choice and pleasure, I guess.

On top of that, man, I'm sorry, but peak TC!ZZS right post-QY canon after he's become the most powerful man in the country but is completely jaded by what happened in the end? On a leash? For a man he respects?? ugh

Anyway TLDR; I think it's hot and all of that gibberish barely has anything to do with my actual motivations to draw this.

#tian ya ke #zhou zishu #wen kexing #tyk #wenzhou #zzs #wkx #meta #qi ye

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solaireverie · 11 months

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Solsplaining Lestappen Gate 2023: Motivations

(aka i spent a full day psychoanalyzing rich white men who drive fast cars for a living)

I'll be the first to admit it: the recent rumors of a move to Red Bull for Charles / news involving him that is just as shocking, affectionately known as Lestappen Gate 2023, is likely delusion. (Or in the words of my beloved sister, "silly season didn't deliver this year, so we have to find something else to obsess over")

However, one common misconception is that one of the main reasons why a deal like this would fall through is the perception that Charles is, and will always remain, loyal to Ferrari, and would never move to another team. However, I actually think that it's very possible for Charles to want a transfer.

Charles is a professional athlete. You don't get to the level that he's at without being dedicated, hardworking, and incredibly competitive. (You can even see his ultra-competitive nature outside of the car — just take a look at the Ferrari driver challenges on Youtube.)

Every single Formula 1 driver (with the possible exception of the man, the myth, and the legend that is Yuki Tsunoda) dreams of winning the World Driver's Championship. Charles isn't going to stay with a team that promised him victory yet keeps failing to deliver (see Silverstone 2022, Spain 2022, Hungary 2022, etc), especially when he's already proven that he can challenge for the title when given a competitive car and decent strategy.

In fact, Charles has already told us the circumstances under which he would be open to leaving Ferrari: when he no longer believes in their "project" and he doesn't feel like he's maximizing performance. (He states clearly that he won't leave at the moment, but the most reasonable estimate for a move has always been 2025, after his current contract expires.)

Now, what could possibly qualify as not maximizing performance? Maybe Charles' past four years with Ferrari?

It obviously isn't all Ferrari's fault. Charles has made his fair share of mistakes and he's paid for them (ex: French GP 2022), but at the end of the day you have to admit that Ferrari seems to make an inordinate amount of mistakes for what should be one of the most prestigious teams in the sport.

Also, not directly related to Charles going to RBR, but it's been said that Ferrari only want to keep one of their current drivers for the future due to concerns about car development since Charles and Carlos have different driving styles. They would prefer to retain Charles, and that's why Carlos has been having difficulties with his contract, but at the end of the day I think that may be another concern Charles may have.

Red Bull have proved time and time again that they are currently on top in terms of car development, pace, strategy, etc. etc. It truly cannot be stressed too much the insanely dominant season they're currently having, and it seems probable that they'll continue this streak into at least the next two to three seasons.

(And even if they do fall off after the 2026 regulations are introduced, they've shown that they can remain competitive and fight to get back to the top. Red Bull have had two periods of domination in the past decade-ish and Ferrari haven't had a WDC since Kimi in 2007 or a WCC since the year after.)

If Charles wants to leave Ferrari to get a better shot at the WDC, Red Bull would be one of his best bets.

On the other side of the equation is Max Verstappen, who has consistently praised Charles' racecraft and has even said that he thinks that they would work well together (mind you, this article is from 2019, which was waaaaaay before their relationship reached the stage that it's at now, and Max was already floating the possibility.)

Red Bull is currently Max's team. He would definitely have a significant amount of input should they decide to change his teammate. Everything he's said so far about and around Charles, as well as the way he acts with him, points to Max not being opposed to the idea. (I'd even go so far as to say that it's possible that he wants to race alongside Charles... *cough* those comments about putting Charles in a better car *cough*)

Red Bull as a team would also benefit greatly from signing Charles. Firstly, he's a great PR asset. He's a media darling and at least one of the top three most popular drivers in F1. For a team that's basically a glorified marketing campaign, that's incredibly important.

Secondly, he and Max have similar driving styles. They're both aggressive and prefer borderline "undriveable" cars. Red Bull have the same issue as Ferrari currently in that their two drivers don't necessarily share the same style, which makes car development difficult. This results in the car suiting one driver (usually the faster) over the other, which then leads to the other driver performing abnormally substandard (see post-Miami 2023 Sergio and McLaren 2022 Daniel).

There are, of course, people who think that Checo might keep his seat or Daniel/Liam/Yuki will replace him.

Checo hasn't been able to achieve a 1-2 in the championship despite having had two dominant cars. This year, if he does get it, it would be by the skin of his teeth (fingers still crossed for Lewis!!!), which if you look at Max's gap with him in the points is simply ridiculous.

He's been decent for getting in the points, but a car like the RB19 shouldn't just be "in the points". Of course, it's not exactly suited for him, but less Q3 appearances than Oscar Piastri, a rookie who had a bad car for a third of the season? Sergio has always been a driver who excels in midfield teams and dragging decent cars higher than they should go, but I don't think he's built for championship contention in a dominant team like Red Bull.

I hate to say it, but realistically I don't see Daniel finding his way back into a RBR seat. He's still a good driver, but he's getting older and his stints with Renault and McLaren really hurt his reputation. The main reason that I think Red Bull would keep him now is for marketing but they've already achieved that by first making him their third driver and then sticking him in Alpha Tauri. Moment of silence for Nyck.

Let's take a look at Red Bull's history of choosing drivers: they've always leaned on the younger side. Sebastian Vettel, Max himself, Pierre Gasly, and Alex Albon were all brought in to replace an older driver. (Which again proves my point about Daniel: Why would RBR replace Checo with a driver older than him? This sentence pained me to write. RBR Daniel you will always be special in my heart!!!)

On the other hand, both Pierre and Alex have shown Red Bull that promoting a rookie too soon can hurt both of them. Yuki, perhaps, but he's not the most stable driver, and he doesn't have the raw talent that Max possesses to make up for the mistakes he makes occasionally. (Personally, I think he'll go to a midfield team eventually.)

For Red Bull, Charles would be a fantastic addition. He's already proven himself, is a publicity powerhouse in his own right, and can compete with Max. Just... no Brocedes ending, please.

Red Bull and Ferrari are incredibly similar in the sense that they are both, at the core of their existences, a mythos, albeit in vastly different ways. Red Bull Racing is a marketing scheme that chases success above all. Scuderia Ferrari is the years of history that looms behind the name.

They're both trying to sell you something, it's just that one is an energy drink and the other is the legend of the Prancing Horse.

Eventually, when Charles is no longer buying into Ferrari, he's going to go looking for another team to put his faith in, and plenty of signs point to it being Red Bull, who in my opinion has shown that they would be more than happy to accept him.

This still doesn't explain why Ferrari would also be posting Lestappen and it's entirely possible that it's all just a ✨ coincidence ✨, but in the meantime I will choose to be delusional!

If you've read to here, I salute you for reaching the end of my ramblings. Please drop by to let me know what you think! Have a nice day and stay hydrated <3

#solsplaining #f1 #formula 1 #f1 rumors #charles leclerc #max verstappen #lestappen #lestappen gate 2023 #red bull racing #scuderia ferrari #it's 2am i have no clue if this is coherent or not #disclaimer: i'm not a professional / motorsport person take everything i say with a grain of salt blah blah blah

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olivialau · 3 months

Text

Shadow's Embrace Ch.4

Sukuna x Reader

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fanfiction based on the universe of "Jujutsu Kaisen," created by Gege Akutami. The original manga, anime, and characters belong to their respective owners and creators.

Notes:

This story unfolds in the Jujutsu world, set in a slightly altered universe where Sukuna inhabits his own vessel distinct from Itadori Yuji's body, making him a separate entity.

Summary:

Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, becomes fascinated with a female sorcerer rich in potential but lacking control. Initially seizing her for his destructive plans, Sukuna aims to bind her abilities through a contract. Yet, as he tries to dominate her, he finds himself intrigued by her strength and determination. Over time, his interest evolves from strategic advantage to a deeper, personal connection.

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CHAPTER 4 - Trial of Resolve

Swallowing your pride, you stooped to pick up the water and bread that Sukuna had tossed at your feet. You retreated to the mattress in the far corner of the room, and silently consumed the provisions.

The act of accepting food from him was humiliating, but you knew it was a necessary concession to keep yourself alive and strong enough to fight back.

The corner of Sukuna's lips curled in contempt as he watched you eat the bread and gulp down the water, his eyes narrowing.

"Pathetic," he spat, "The frailty of humans, unable to survive without their precious food and water." He shook his head, a mixture of disgust and amusement playing across his features.

"You are truly pitiful creatures."

You knew it wasn't wise to provoke him, yet the glaring contradiction in his hatred for humans compelled you to speak up.

Ancient texts from Jujutsu High painted Sukuna as an Imaginary Demon from the Heian Era, a time when sorcerers reached their peak powers during what was known as the Golden Age of Jujutsu.

However, Gojo had told you that, in truth, Sukuna had been a human sorcerer during this era, known as the Disgraced One. His overwhelming strength made him unstoppable during his murderous rampages, a force of nature feared by all.

Despite the peril you found yourself in currently, you couldn't resist needling him, your playful nature momentarily overshadowing the precarious situation.

"Weren't you human once yourself?" you challenged, a smirk tugging at your lips. "You must have needed to eat and drink just like everyone else. Isn't that rather... pathetic?"

Sukuna's eyes narrowed dangerously, his jaw tightening. For a moment, you could sense the coiled energy within him, the barely restrained fury at your audacity. But just as quickly, his features smoothed into a sardonic smile.

"Ah, so the little sorcerer has found her tongue," he purred. "How amusing."

Drawing nearer, his figure cast a dark, suffocating shadow over you. "You forget your place, brat," he growled, his fingers gripping your chin and forcing you to meet his intense gaze.

"I am no longer bound by humanity's weaknesses," he hissed with disdain. "I've transcended the pitiful limitations of your kind."

"Whilst we're on the topic... I believe it's time we continue our little game," His gaze narrowed with a glint of cruel amusement. "Your spirit won't break without a little... encouragement, you see."

Sukuna's eyes bore into yours as he spoke "And as for my past... it holds no concern for you." He scoffed. "I would worry about your own future instead—the one I will shape after I've broken you." He chuckled, the sound sending a chill down your spine.

Sukuna paced back and forth, his eyes fixed upon you as he pondered aloud. "Hmm, what would it take to shatter a spirit such as yours, I wonder?"

His voice dripped with mocking contemplation, like a connoisseur savoring the prospect of exquisite torment. Sukuna's gaze narrowed further, a twisted smile on his lips as he outlined the possibilities.

"Extreme violence and physical torture, perhaps?" he mused, his tone laced with chilling amusement. "Or should I unravel the delicate threads of your psyche instead?"

"Exhaustion, humiliation, deprivation... the options are endless," he murmured softly, his voice a velvet promise of horrors yet to unfold.

Sukuna's gaze swept over your battered form, a contemplative gleam in his eyes. "Seeing as you're already so bruised and broken," he mused, "how about pushing that fragile body just a little further, woman?"

He leaned in, his face mere inches from yours, his hot breath caressing your skin. "Until your legs can no longer bear your weight. Until your ribs ache with every pathetic breath. Until your hands can do nothing but tremble."

Despite the dread coiling within you, you steeled your resolve, refusing to let even a glimmer of fear show in your eyes. You met Sukuna's gaze with an unwavering glare, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cower.

Suddenly, Sukuna yanked you by the arm, his fingers digging into your injured wrist. The sharp pain shot through your body, eliciting an involuntary wince. Without a moment's hesitation, he began to drag you up the stairs, each step echoing ominously through the confined basement.

He unlocked the door at the top of the staircase, and as he pushed it open, your breath caught in your throat.

Before you laid a vast, industrial space that resembled an abandoned factory. Towering steel beams crisscrossed the ceiling, casting long, haunting shadows.

The walls and floor, were made of the same weathered concrete as the basement, but covered in dark crimson stains that seemed to whisper tales of past conflicts.

Sunlight filtered through gaps in boarded-up windows, casting an eerie glow over the large space.

It was clear that this place was a battleground, meticulously designed for combat—the perfect arena for Sukuna to exert his power without restraint.

Before, Sukuna had used lower-level curses to gauge your strength, pushing you to your limits. Now, however, his intentions seemed to take on a more personal approach.

As he pulled you towards the center of the room, he finally released your wrist, stepping back to create distance between the two of you. His crimson eyes bore into yours.

You would never admit it to him, but you were scared; the only giveaway, a small tremor in your hands, barely noticeable.

Anticipating the imminent danger, you pondered his next move. But he afforded you little time to prepare, as he suddenly sprang into action. His muscles tightened, and with a swift, decisive movement, he surged toward you.

Your eyes widened in alarm, but Sukuna's blinding speed left you no chance to evade.

His body collided with bone-crushing force, hurling you into the air. The impact against the hard concrete floor as you fell, sent searing pain rippling through your body, each tumble on the surface intensifying the agony. Amidst the ringing in your ears, Sukuna's malicious cackling echoed.

Struggling to push yourself up, Sukuna's smirk only intensified as he charged toward you once more, relentless in his assault.

With a quick roll to the side, you narrowly evaded his attack. But Sukuna's movements were too fast; in a swift pivot, he planted his leg in your stomach with tremendous force.

The impact knocked the wind out of you, leaving you gasping for breath as you crumpled to the ground again. Coughing and sputtering, your vision blurred as you fought to regain composure.

Sukuna's unrelenting attacks were taking a devastating toll, and you knew you had to shift the momentum before he would actually kill you.

Desperately trying to channel your cursed energy, you braced yourself as Sukuna prepared to unleash another destructive assault.

Most sorcerers possessed an innate cursed technique, a specialized ability honed through years of training and often inherited. Yet, you hadn't discovered your own yet, leaving you grappling with raw cursed energy.

In the heat of the moment, you struggled to summon the calm focus Sukuna had taught you, in the basement.

Instead, you reverted to your habit of haphazardly forcing cursed energy through your palms. The resulting release was powerful but wildly imprecise, veering off course and missing Sukuna by a significant margin.

Frustration and desperation gnawed at you as you grappled with the realization that your lack of control left you dangerously exposed.

Sukuna's expression darkened as he observed your desperate, uncontrolled attack miss its mark. Annoyance flashed across his features, and he let out a derisive scoff.

"That's all wrong, brat," He spoke with obvious disgust. "And here I thought I had been gracious enough to offer you my guidance."

Sukuna shook his head in dissatisfaction as he regarded you with disdain. "If you are so utterly lacking in talent, I might just have to kill you after all."

His scathing words struck a chord within you, amplifying the frustration and self-loathing you already felt. He was right – your inability to control your own cursed energy was a glaring weakness.

The realization stung, and you felt a wave of shame wash over you. You had tried, you had pushed yourself to the limit, and yet your efforts had amounted to nothing, your attack failing to even graze your foe.

It unleashed an immense sense of guilt and helplessness, feelings that had plagued you ever since you failed to save Ayumi from her tragic fate.

When you found her you were frozen in place, unable to move, unable to do anything to alter the cruel course of events.

This was the same, you couldn't do anything. It felt suffocating.

Sukuna's expression remained cold and unforgiving, devoid of any trace of sympathy. He had no patience for weakness, and your failure to harness your abilities to his satisfaction only seemed to fuel his relentless onslaught.

Without warning, he surged forward, his powerful grip latching onto your arm. With a swift, fluid motion, he swung you across the room.

Your head struck the ground with a sickening thud, a pool of blood beginning to form around you, testament to the brutality of his attack.

Sukuna must have expected this to be the final blow, the moment when your spirit would finally break under the weight of his overwhelming power.

For a fleeting moment, you almost considered it too- giving up, surrendering to the crushing weight of defeat. Wouldn't it bring immense relief, to let go and succumb?

But then, the image of Ayumi's feet standing in front of you, disrupting your stick-drawn figure in the dirt, flashed before your eyes. It was that fateful day in front of your porch, when she decided to pull you out of your loneliness.

Yet, like a cruel twist of fate, the image started alternating with the horrid memory of Ayumi's severed head, lying in the very same dirt, in front of that very same porch.

A haunting reminder of your weakness.

You couldn't escape that gruesome image, no matter how desperately you tried. It was etched deep into your mind and soul, tormenting you with its vivid details. You would do anything to rid yourself of it.

A wave of crushing clarity washed over you. Your only path forward was clear—to become stronger, resilient enough to banish that haunting image from your thoughts once and for all.

Trembling, you forced yourself back to your feet, determination burning brighter than the pain that wracked your battered body. With each slow breath, you pushed aside the negative emotions that had fueled your previous erratic attacks.

Channeling your energy with a gentle, controlled flow, you felt a steady bolt of cursed energy form in your palm. Meeting Sukuna's gaze with unwavering resolve, you aimed the concentrated blast directly at him.

The bolt shot forward in a straight, precise line, hurtling towards Sukuna with unwavering intent.

His eyes widened ever so slightly as your powerful blast approached him. For a brief moment, he seemed caught off guard, unable to evade the precise attack.

Reacting with his trademark speed and agility, Sukuna raised his hand, swiftly deflecting the bolt of energy. However, the impact was not lost on him, as a faint shimmer of pain flashed across his face, betraying the effects your strike had upon him.

The King of Curses regarded you with a newfound glint of respect in his crimson eyes. "That's it," he murmured, his voice low and almost reverent.

Sukuna's lips curved into a predatory smile as he shifted into a more defensive stance, a stark change from his earlier nonchalant demeanor. It was as if he now regarded you with earnestness, a realization that sent an unexpected flutter of excitement through your stomach.

His cursed energy intensified, enveloping him in a crimson glow, as he challenged you,

"Now let's see how long you can maintain that focus, little sorcerer."

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Thanks for reading and until the next chapter.

If you want to be added to the taglist, so you don't miss any updates, please let me know in the comments or with a private message. Thankyou!

Taglist: @sukunasthightattoos

#sukuna x y/n #sukuna fanfic #sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #ryomen sukuna #jjk men x you #jjk men x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk men #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sukuna

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ovaryacted · 10 months

Note

NOW HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, YOURE ONTO SOMETHING WITH BRAT LEON

I know it sounds strange to think of Leon as a brat because he's a grown-ass man and it seems taboo. But when you're a heavy switch who is a brat when they're a sub and who's into femdom and brat taming (aka me) you'd be surprised how common it can be when the brattiness is subtle. But let me walk you through my thought process real quick.

Leon has always been put in the position of being dominant as a means of survival. He had to prove to other people that he can be taken seriously, that he isn't just a pretty face but also has a brain and skills that don't leave him out to be seen as a piece of meat. At least past RE2, he'd have to force himself to be macho especially when he's forced into military service despite being the complete opposite internally.

So, when he's able to have a safe space to explore those things, he'll be more comfortable being submissive. Just turning his brain off and letting someone else be in charge so it isn't him calling the shots for once. The thing is, there will be times when you'd have to fight him to be submissive because he's stubborn and he likes getting on your nerves.

It'll start off with talking back, with the constant sarcastic one-liners he'll say mid-conversation. Other times, he'll interrupt you, or question you more often just to see the way your jaw will tighten and your eye will twitch. He does it on purpose, because he knows what he's signing himself up for in the end. He wants the punishment and wants to see you dom him completely.

"You really want to talk to me like that?", you'd tell him as a warning, and he'd only smirk. "What? I can't talk to you now?", Leon would reply back, voice dripping in sarcasm, and you hate it.

If you command him to do something, he'll either do it slowly or in the way you didn't specify, which I think is the obvious answer.

"Did I say you could touch yourself?", you yanked his head from where he currently sucked at your pussy, seeing the sneaky hand jerking at his throbbing cock. "You didn't, but I wasn't in the mood to listen", Leon didn't stop pumping, hair a mess and eyes completely fucked out as he gave you a grin.

The way that I see it, Leon would have fun being a brat, it's a dynamic I can see being brought out if he doesn't want to be outright submissive. Again, this is all coming from my own perception of him that he's stubborn and doesn't take shit seriously, so it would reflect whenever he's in the mood to do something like this.

#ovaryacted asks #ovaryacted thoughts #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #spreading the brat leon propaganda one message at a time #walk with me #and let me cook #cause now I'm thinking lmaooooo

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justmediocrewriting · 7 months

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“Aided silence,” {r.z}

A/n: 4th installment whoooo. My brain has been bouncing around the drafts of these things, and little by little I’ve been adding and revising like four different prompts and I finally got one finished lmao. I also headcanon the trope that zoro needs a good fuck after a fight, because fighting always gets him going. I hope you guys enjoy this one :)

Warnings/tags: explicit sexual content, outdoor sex, semi-public sex, set during the party at coco village, zoro is kinda mean, rough!zoro, dirty talk, bigdick!zoro, mouth covering, p in v sex, 100 follower nsfw dialogue prompt special

Genre: smut

Pairing: zoro x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Prompt: “quiet, baby. The others will hear.” (#7 from the list)

The aroma of paella was strong still, and your ears could easily discern differences within the voices composing the clamor in the center of the village. Your skin was alight with nerves, and your stomach felt unsettled by the sensation of exposure. Even Zoro’s heavy petting couldn’t chase away the uncomfortable anxiety.

“Zoro, what if someone catches us?” You whispered to the man, who was quite focused on his current task of unsheathing his cock with one hand and rubbing hot circles into your clit with the other.

“As long as you’re quiet, no one will.” Zoro refuted without missing a beat, voice even as if he wasn’t the least bit affected by the same sense of exposure you felt. The darkened corner of the hut he dragged you into must have offered him a sense security that it refused to offer you; all you could feel was guilt and anxiety, the thought of engaging in such an act with Zoro in the charred home of one of the villagers striking a chord of discomfort within your heart.

“Zoro, we shouldn’t do this here. T-this is someone’s house.” You stuttered over your words as Zoro’s fingers became more aggressive against your clit, the friction shooting zips of pleasure up your spine.

“This isn’t much of a home anymore. Besides, we freed them, I don’t think they’re going to care much what we do in here.”

Your breath stalled on a soft moan when Zoro dipped his fingers between your folds to gather the slick there, the glide of his fingertips against your clit smoother when he returned them to their previous motions. Your hips bucked forward on a particularly rough flick of his fingers, which pulled a dark chuckle from the man.

“You’re so wet, too. I think we both need this.”

“But—”

All protests were stolen from your tongue when Zoro crashed his lips into yours, wasting no time in plunging his tongue past your lips and licking into your mouth. You let out a small moan at his display of dominance over you, your muscles quickly turning to jelly beneath your skin — just as they always did when Zoro forced his authority on you.

Zoro released a rumble of approval against your lips and slid his hand down to hook it beneath your knee, pulling it up and pinning it to the wall behind you, effectively exposing your sopping cunt to the brisk air — and giving him the ample access required to line his throbbing cock up with your entrance. Zoro pressed the tip between your folds, using his hand to slide it up down the length of it and gather your wetness before pressing in just slightly and pulling a shaky sigh from your throat.

Zoro pulled his lips away from yours and muttered, darkly, “no more resisting. Be quiet and take it like a good girl.”

Zoro slammed his cock into you suddenly, giving you no time to recover or adjust before setting a brutal pace. Moans and whimpers were quite literally battered out of you, the tip of his cock practically splitting open your cervix with how hard and deeply he was fucking you — the slap of his skin against yours bounced off the charred walls and filled you with a sense of lewd shame, but it was nothing compared to the shame you felt from just how much you were starting to enjoy this.

Zoro’s cock was a rod of pure addiction, the perfect size to completely scramble your insides and turn your brain to goo, and it had you almost immediately begging for him to give it to you harder and faster — it brought you a lascivious type of euphoria unlike any you’d ever felt, one that fogged your skull and wiped away any sensation that wasn’t associated with the pleasure of his cock.

“You were just telling me to stop and now you’re begging me for more? Fuck, are you that insatiable?” Zoro growled into the divot of your throat, tongue snaking out to swipe up the salty sweat forming on your skin. Your only response was a jumbled mess of moans and whimpers, the wet, sloppy slide of his thick cock against your walls wiping your ability to form words. It always happened this way — as soon as Zoro stuffed you full of his dick you were dumbed down by it, and Zoro knew it, took great pleasure in it, and exploited the fact to the fullest extent.

“Gods, you’re sucking me in so deep. My dick that good, angel?”

Your next moan was loud — alarmingly so. The noise bounced along the walls and surely made its way to the ears within the village. Zoro’s grip on your knee tightened to a bruising degree and his hand shot up to slap over your mouth, muffling all your subsequent sounds and making it slightly difficult to breathe.

“Fucking hell — shut up!” Zoro seethed as he pulled back from your neck, glaring daggers at your fucked out face. It was hard for you to process his panicked anger, as your eyes were simply too unfocused by the pleasure wracking your body, and you continued to whine and moan into the flesh of his hand, blissfully unaware of the risk you’d just put them in.

Zoro’s hips never faltered their bruising pace, and despite the annoyance he felt, his cock twitched inside your pussy. You were coming undone, just as always, and it was affecting him carnally; just as always.

“Fuck, I guess I can’t be too mad. Not when I know how much you love it…” Zoro muttered, cock twitching even harder against your mushy walls, the urge to absolutely ruin your cunt and reduce you to shambles overpowering his sense of reason. Zoro removed his hand but quickly replaced it with his own mouth, swallowing up the uneven symphony of your moans and sounds. The hand that had previously blocked the noises reached down and grabbed hold of your other leg, which was still planted firmly on the ground, and, in an effortless motion, lifted and pinned it to the wall. The new position allowed him to strike your cervix dead on with each harsh thrust, and the intense sensation pulled multiple screams from your throat.

“Yeah, that’s the spot you like the most, isn’t it?” Zoro asked huskily, nearly drowning in the sense of power your reactions bestowed him with. “You love it when I fuck you like this, ramming my cock straight into your stomach.”

Your cunt fluttered and twitched around his cock, your eyes nearly rolling back from the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashing into your body. Zoro was practically ripping your orgasm to the surface with each thrust. You could feel spit sliding down your chin and past his hand, could feel it cool against your skin, but you could hardly muster any embarrassment over your messiness — your pussy felt way too good, sloppy and fucked up, being repeatedly used and abused by Zoro; and you were so close, right on the precipice of orgasm, and Zoro had no problems pushing you over the edge.

“Cum on my cock, angel. I know you want to. Fuckin’ do it; let me feel you cum.”

Your teeth dug into the side of his palm as your orgasm crashed over you, your cunt throbbing and fluttering around his cock, the combined stimulation of pain and pleasure unexpectedly tipping Zoro over the edge as well.

“Fuck, I’m c-coming — fucking shit, take it baby.”

Ropes of hot, thick cum painted your fluttering walls, drawing a wanton moan from your throat as you were filled to the brim. Zoro continued to fuck into your cunt at an erratic pace, growling and grunting as he rode himself through his orgasm.

“Fuuuuck.” Zoro drawled as his hips finally stilled, keeping his cock sheathed within your sensitive walls, arousal spiking hot in his gut as he felt the warm trickle of his own cum dripping from your pussy and down his thigh. Your eyes were still hazy and unfocused, your teeth still stuck into his skin; you looked so fucking delectable, fucked out into pure bliss — the celebrations were still roaring kilometers away from your joined bodies, the residents of Coco Village and even your own crew completely unaware of your engagement, and Zoro’s lips pulled into a smirk as his cock remained filled inside your sopping cunt.

“Round two, angel.”

#opla #opla Zoro #opla x reader #opla Zoro x reader #one piece live action

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aceofpatience · 1 year

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🌙Your past life🌙

Well, hello my little oysters 🐚 This reading is an insight into your past life. I was looking into your energy, your previous job, goals, love, family, obstacles and advices form your past self etc. So there might be some things that could possibly trigger you (mentioned death, life difficulties). But, as always, take what you please, comment if anything resonates and just enjoy.

Shall we SEA?🌊

Pile 1. Uroboros

Who were you: Scorpio energy. I think you were in some position of power. Very secretive, always keeping things to yourself. Also keeping yourself in the shadows as you didn’t like being in the center of attention. You knew you were smart and you used it to your own advantage. Old soul, maybe during medieval times. A part of nobility?

Your main goal/want: I’m getting the vibe that you were born in an upper family but you just wanted more. However your ambitions were not all wishful power lust - it was more rational, strategic. You despised sitting still and doing nothing. You were deep into the game and you were good at it, trust me. To be honest, I’m getting some Game of Thrones energy - not only with fighting houses but also with the setting (castle corridors flooded in semi-darkness lol). You wanted to make things better (whether it was literal things or something more abstract).

What did you do (job/finances): Your wealth (at least in the beginning) came directly from your family or heritage. You didn’t need to work for money, you worked for yourself, maybe some relatives. You liked the struggle, the puzzles, the intrigues. It kept your mind occupied. „Finally, a worthy opponent.” *hides a smile*

Love life: I’m sensing some arranged marriage or marriage of convenience (but it’s not like you were pushed to do it - maybe even you were the one who thought it would be a good idea to get married for some reason). You were for sure not looking for love. BUT. With the marriage ceremony completed, true love was served to you on a damn silver platter. Y’all just skipped the dating phase lol. And, what is important - your spouse had very similar energy to yours. You joined forces (world domination couple xd). It’s like when Loki of Asgard fell in love with the alternative Loki. For some of you, it could be the same sex relationship (but then it would probably be in the shadows). Or it could also mean that there was actually no marriage - because it was your decision whether to have one or not - and if you knew it wouldn’t serve you, you simply wouldn’t get married.

Children (or not): I’m getting some only child energy. It was your decision to have a child - not only you planned it but you actively chose one (adoption maybe??). Or maybe you had a pupil for whom you were not only a guardian, but also a mentor. For sure your child has grown to be just like you. I don’t think you were that kind of a parent who shows their affection openly (I know, shocker), but you were a protector. And your child admired you. For sure.

Obstacles: Passion has always been a dangerous field for you in your past life. Dangerous dance. As well as all the people around you. You didn’t mind competition, but to find out that you actually deeply care for winning? That wasn’t something you signed up for. It was scary to find out that the game actually affected your emotions. You worked better with your mind engaged only.

An issue that progressed into your current life: Sometimes a spilled coconut milk is just a coconut milk. 🧉 It’s not about being grateful for shitty things in life or just being grateful - just look around to see other things. Maybe don’t focus only on this milk. Maybe on some fruit, mango perhaps idk. You don’t need to win every day to be happy. (Sorry for philosophical bullshit but I heart these one loud and clear)

Life purpose in your past life: Power, strength and wisdom (the holy trinity lol). You were surrounded by spirits who really enjoyed watching you mature. And by maturing in that case it meant being able to look in the mirror (and face your emotions).

Lesson from your past life: Sharing is caring lol. Appreciate your family or don’t be afraid to create one. Some battles are worth fighting for, even if you know you are going to lose. And sometimes it’s okay to step back (you made your point, so what? Everyone is dead already, nobody heard your damn point). Sometimes it’s enough to fight for what you need, not for what you want.

Death: I don’t think you died of old age, you were at full strength. You just grabbed a higher position when it happened. You fell off your high horse lol. Or maybe you literally fell off some rocks.

Pile 2. Orange tree/sefirot

Who were you: Sagittarius. Love given. Love received. Strong personality. You had all you needed in you. The real magic in a real person, who cared deeply for their family. Your touch made things grow. It’s like your everyday chores were a spell you cast on things around you. A warm happy gaze. You did ponder the way the universe works, karma, past and future lives. I think the person you once were, was actually aware of who you are right now. You saw the future! And, I think you lived somewhere sunny and warm. Maybe the south? I see an orange tree.🍊

Your main goal/want: Peace. Harmony. Trust. The connection to the spiritual world. You had and still have really strong roots. You saw my gaze once. I feel there was a time in your life when you wanted revenge (or something similar) and as a result it carried you away from the life that you truly wanted.

What did you do (job/finances): Your previous job required an enormous responsibility on your part, you had a high position. So maybe you were a doctor, a judge, a scientist, or a soldier.

Love life: A lot of passion and desire, but also heartache. One of you had a position lower than the other. I’m also sensing some age gap, and there was some imbalance in that relationship. I think you often split up and got back together a while later. Maybe people around you were against your relationship and you had to hide it. I’m sensing you both went through a lot of changes during your lives - you grew up together. And you never gave up on each other.

Children (or not): Surprise child. Unplanned pregnancy. Maybe you live in times when your relationship was forbidden and you couldn’t get married. And with the baby you both found yourself in a difficult situation (but you made a choice to keep it). Very much your choice. That’s random, but I feel that despite all odds your child was very happy and optimistic. A little ray of sunshine. You cherished your child, spoiled them with love.

Obstacles: An illusion you wanted to live in. I don’t think you were naive, but some people might have judged you as such. It’s more like you just couldn’t stand the ugliness of the world sometimes, so instead you decided to create a small perfect bubble for you and your family. A cheerful oblivion. But it wasn’t oblivion after all - you weren’t oblivion, you just couldn’t stand all the bad things.

An issue that progressed into your current life: Number 8. Like it was in your past life, you still have the urgency to help others. You have hope in you, which is beautiful, but some people might use it against you. You crave your ideal life, but be careful or you’ll end up stuck in your fantasy. I'm hearing the words: „Don’t drown”.

Life purpose in your past life: Motherhood (not necessarily literal). You had such amazing nurturing energy, capable of creating life. I’m almost seeing this as if you could make a tree blossom just by touching it. You were a perfect listener, you made people feel seen. Also you could have been a truly amazing protective parent (I’m getting the vibe of a mama-bear).

Lesson from your past life: Protect your home and yourself first. If you genuinely want to help others, make sure to care for yourself first. Giving yourself to others doesn’t mean slowly destroying yourself. Breathe.

Death: I think you lived to an old age in your past life. And as you were getting older, you were separating more from the world outside. I think it might have something to do with your death. “For two grandma swore.” (don't ask lol).

Pile 3. Atlas holding the sky

Who were you: Responsibilities. Religion. You were a human lucky charm, attracting good things. Fate either with or against you in your life, no in-between. Your existence made others believe in miracles, even though you yourself were quite a down-to-earth person. You gave off the vibe of a noble knight who helps their neighbors and everyone loves them. I'm seeing a sentence: „It’s not who you are, but what you hold within yourself.” Idk bro. And I think you lived rather close to nature, so no big cities.

Your main goal/want: Your goals mostly revolved around material things (you weren’t greedy, just responsible lol). That’s random but I think you wanted to own a part of the land (take care of it, cultivate it, use it, and live there).

What did you do (job/finances): You were so hardworking. Couldn’t sit your ass down. Something school-related? Or maybe church? Professor or a priest? For sure your workplace gathered a lot of people for whom you were a mentor.

Love life: A love that is a gift from the Universe. Steady relationship. Instant attraction, a lot of courtship. Something that was supposed to be just a physical thing turned out to be a deep connection. You both understood each other so well - you could have had a conversation without talking, just with your eyes. You quickly got married but not without making a little sacrifice (moving out to a new place, a downgrade to your life before or something like that). But, like I said, this love was a gift. You didn’t waste it.

Children (or not): You planned your family. You had all the time in the world, so you could go the traditional way. I think you had a couple of children after you got married. Your home was idyllic, seriously. I’m even seeing some flowers in your house and a beautiful garden. Safe bubble of comfortable ease.

Obstacles: There was some unconscious desire in you for some drama. A big action, a great gesture. Don’t get me wrong you were SO fulfilled at the family level, but something about your spiritual life, your faith, got you kinda restless. It’s like you heard the fate calling out to you, but you loved your family too much to follow it. But the call stayed. A small rip inside you.

An issue that progressed into your current life: You still can’t stand to do nothing. I bet even if you tell yourself you can rest, your thoughts just keep running and running. It’s maddening. And I think you rarely ask others for help. You might seem open and friendly but all the most important stuff you only keep to yourself.

Life purpose in your past life: Guiding others. You held some authority you knew how to use. And the call - I’m sensing that some goddess above or idk, some spirit, might have been a bit bitchy about you choosing the family instead of your divine mission. But you go, bro! Show’em!

Lesson from your past life: „Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.” Listen to uncle Iroh! Don’t take yourself so seriously. And trust your instincts. Remember that the distance from the real world might be painful - history shows that gods rather often ask for sacrifices than handle gifts.

Death: Your death was quick. Maybe poetic? Or just tragic. Happened at the moment when you ended some important part of your life. No specifics here, sorry dudes.

Pile 4. Prometheus

Who were you: You were a warrior. A street-smart person. You experienced so much at a very young age (I’m getting the number 16). Because of that you had to grow up too fast. Mature eyes, but a young face. You were rather reserved, distrustful, often skeptical. But also strong, resourceful, independent. People might have felt intimidated or even scared of you.

Your main goal/want: „What am I working on now?” You wanted to master your skill. Even though you’ve already gone through the training phase, you still wanted to prove yourself. You were being deceived by your own personality.

What did you do (job/finances): You commanded others. You had to face forces much bigger than you, all alone. You were giving orders, but it doesn’t mean that you didn’t work as much as your subordinates. You were responsible for others but demanded the most from yourself all the time. Your job was rapid, you definitely weren’t sitting behind a desk.

Love life: Twin flame. Your spouse was destined for you. You met at a crucial moment, when you both needed somebody like the other in your lives. You both were on a tough path: I’m seeing two soldiers supporting each other while marching. (I don’t mean your job was for sure connected with the military - it's more about your resilient energies together). Intimacy. Passion balanced by a soul connection. Whispering secrets to each other’s ears in the dark. Sharing quick kisses in the daylight. You will meet again. Coz that's what you do - you keep on going and your paths are always crossing.

Children (or not): I think the moment when you and your spouse were safe enough to start a family, was actually the biggest victory for you. For your children you were the biggest authority. They looked up to you all the time. As for you, I’m feeling a lot of pride and fear for them. You wanted to be a perfect parent, again putting too much pressure on yourself.

Obstacles: Some circumstances in your environment made you move around the world. For some time in your life you couldn’t stay in one place for long. The politics of the times in which you lived put crutches under your feet.

An issue that progressed into your current life: You have this tendency to make sacrifices, putting yourself in danger. It eventually may lead to a whirlwind of less fortunate events that cannot be stopped.

Life purpose in your past life: Embracing solitude. Finding out you are as much human as the rest of us. You can make mistakes and still be reaching greatness. You can be alone, but what for?

Lesson from your past life: Focus on love, connections. Learn to combine opposites within yourself. You don’t need to choose one path. You can be with others and not lose yourself at the same time.

Death: In your sleep. You had some kind of divine protection - as you died, you were taken care of and guided home.

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a card #intuitive #tarot cards #past lives #pac reading #intuitive readings #past life #picture #intuitive tarot reading #tarot community #pac tarot #pick a picture #pick a card tarot #tarot reader #pick a pile reading

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