#Start me on talking about brain stuff and I'll go all night but basically. When your brain is working against you-

[hajihiko]

ok this is gonna sound really weird but were the ppl like,,,, conscious???? when they got taken over?? idk how to word it,, like,,,,,, did they know i guess??? srry if i missed smth lol

i left it ambiguous on purpose!

[itsastrobixch]

Astrology notes

- gemini / mercury / uranus / aqua change their identity a lot online. They place a lot of importance on their online identity and as they change so does their online personas.

- Mercury dominance if well placed Learnt to talk very early and saturn mercury aspects learnt to speak a bit late or may speak with a bit of hesitation.

- chiron in 1st have deep rooted identity issues and may also not be able to relax in photos and stuff. Some may even go to the extent of not wanting to take pictures at all.

- count yourself lucky if : air signs ask for your advice.. They don't ask option from everyone. Similarly if fire signs seek you out or show you their defeated side and depressed side. They Always want people to seem them as optimistic fiery and determined but like evryone they too go through down times but they tend to bounce back faster than others.

- Mercury saturn or Mercury rx may have great conversations with themselves in their heads but when it comes out it night miss the mark or.. Like not sound as good as it did in their brains.

- all mercury /gemini dominants open 3 to 5 tabs at the same time. And don't finish a single one completely. Change my mind.

- moon pluto tumultuous emotions. Whiplash. One extrene or the other. Mood changes just with a single event. The whole room can feel the shift as well. Moon and Pluto both give out unstable, watery and intense emotions. It can be difficult if negatively aspected. Even if positively aspected it can lead to the feeling overwhelming emotions.

- People with pluto in 1st, their emotions are hidden. No one knows how they feel. Mostly i see geminis get all the credit for their glib tongues. But have you ever seen a Pluto person toy with people when they know they truth ? They'll lie so effortlessly that even the people who know the truth will start to believe the lie is the truth. Their words and their facial expressions while lying is so controlled and natural it's scary.

- Asteroid Cerea shows is how we nurture. Aries ceres is the defender of the group and people who tend to protect people who are defenseless esp animals. Taurus is the comforter. And so on. But aspects and the house in which Ceres is in also plays a major role.

- Uranus / gemini in 3rd house have lots of ideas at the same time but many are unfocused and evrything is gone in a fleet. They may have a brilliant idea but Lose it in the next second. It'll be better if they scribble down their thoughts anywhere somewhere so they'll have a basic idea of what they thought.

- I fucking admire Aries women, esp as a Libra, like how tf..? i used to have a friend, she used to do some pretty controversial shit in high school but like never once let anything get iin her way and is now a part time business woman...like come on...how are you so headstrong ? And somehow things also tend to workout for them

- every mutable person has a box full of drafts all half done and of various types but all undone. Its a mess of ideas and posts half written and lost interest and motivation along the way...but I'll save it for another day when I will want to finish it up.

- If an air sign texts you daily, they like you. Especially instant replies . 🌝

- scorpio, and Venus Pluto aspects also tend to fall for someone who is out of their grasp. they like to torture themselves like that 😂 or they'll think that they don't deserve the person they're in love with. Its Always one or the other with them.

- venus neptune contacts produce the devoted worshipper type lovers. They will worship the ground their love walks on and will turn a blind eye to their faults. This is most definitely not a healthy patter of behaviour. Please don't indulge in this.

- mercury dominants can't fucking shut their brain off. they have a lot of nervous energy. And will Always be actively thinking about atleast two things at once.

- actually now that i think about it, my bffs in high are an Aries sun, me a sag rising and my frnd a leo sun. and i still wonder why the girls didn't like us 😂🌝 if fire signs get together whether they stir up drama or not, it'll either find them or people will hold them responsible for it even if they aren't.

- gemini and Mercury dominants can imitate very well especially the accents. Their adpative ability is out of charts and a bit creepy tbh. how they change acc to people, how they acclimatise to their surroundings ax cultures, they have this ability which allows to be another person if they like.

- mars - pluto negative aspects may have r*pe dreams often even if they haven't had any such encounters.

- pluto in 1st are ironically afraid of death and illness more so than the usual person.

- 11th house sign may show how we behave online.

-geminins have this weird ability to take and soak up information from all over the place and somehow put it together perfectly . they learn stuff from disorderly messes but they seem to understand it with clarity.

[lnfours]

ik i should probably send this thru the lando brain rot but i am not exposing my filthy side lol so please excuse that. BUT lando with a figure skater who competes in singles but has to pairs for a gala show. he casually picks her from the practice and sees the pairs program which is stemy AF. i am thinking of smth like very hands on each other and her partner throwing her in air and catching her; his hands all over her waist while the song could be smth like into you by ariana grande.

a jealous lando fucking her going like "bet he can't do this" or smth like "oh he will never be able to see you like this" or "come on baby i've seen you split your body basically half on ice you can stretch more than that"

lol i am sorry i yapped alot feel free to ignore if you're not into it sm.

THIS IS LOWKEY GIVING ICEBREAKER AND IM SO HERE FOR IT FUCK!!!!!! smut (18+ pls!)

cleaning out my inbox

he was waiting for you when your routine ended, his arms crossed as he watched you and your partner. he knew you had done a more sensual routine this time around, but the sight of some dude having his hands all over you made him clench his jaw.

he knew it was part of your sport, that it was something silly to be mad at, but he couldn't help it. he didn't like sharing, especially when it came to you.

not wanting to make him wait any longer, you quickly grabbed your things and made your way over to him, stepping off the ice and smiling at him.

"hey, sorry, i forgot what time it was," you sighed, sitting down on the benches, "have you been waiting long?"

he shook his head, "'s alright."

you raised an eyebrow at him as you unlaced your skates, "you okay?"

he was looking in the direction towards your partner, "hmm? yeah, baby, 'm good."

"you sure?" you asked, stuffing the skates into your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, "you look pissed off."

the conversation was interrupted when your partner called your name, stepping off the ice and smiling at the both of you, "good job today, you did great!"

"thanks," you smiled, "so did you! i'll see you friday, right?"

"yeah, i'll see you friday," he smiled, "have a good night guys."

you laced your arm with your boyfriends, pulling him away from sending the poor boy daggers, "good night!"

lando followed your lead, walking with you back to the parking lot and to the car. you threw your stuff in the backseat before climbing into the passenger seat, noticing the way his jaw was still tight.

he started the car as you spoke softly, your hand resting on his arm, "are you sure you're okay?"

he nodded before looking over at you, "yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

"like i said, you look pissed," you said, "did you wanna talk about it?"

"'m fine, babe, really."

his tone made you think otherwise, and then it clicked. he was jealous.

you smirked over at him, laughing softly, "oh my god, you're jealous!"

"no, 'm not."

"you are, look at you!" you chuckled, "c'mon, babe, there's nothing to be jealous about."

"i just don't like the fact that he had his hands all over you," he said, "that's all."

you grabbed his hand from the center console, placing it on your cheek, "doesn't matter, the only man who's hands i want all over me is sitting right here."

you pressed a kiss to his palm, smiling softly. he moved his thumb, the pad of his finger tracing over your bottom lip. he leaned the side of his head against the headrest when you pressed a soft kiss to his finger, mumbling a soft, "fuck, if you keep this up, i'm going to have to fuck you in this parking lot."

you smirked over at him, "is that a challenge?"

he looked out to the parking lot, the only ones left were you and one other car he had assumed was the owner's.

fuck it.

he reached across the console, unbuckling the seatbelt you had done up before helping you climb over to the drivers side. you smiled down at him as he reclined the seat back, giving the both of you more room as you lowered yourself to his level, hand resting on the seat as you hovered over him.

"quit it," he said, helping you pull down your leggings and underwear, tugging down his own sweatpants but leaving the barrier of his boxers between the two of you.

"i just can't believe you're jealous of matt," you snickered, "of all people, matt? really?"

"shut up," he rolled his eyes, helping you out of your hoodie, "unless you want me to make you shut up."

"i don't know, this is fun, don't you think?"

he sighed, pulling you down for a kiss with one hand on the back of your neck as the other slipped between the two of you to find your clit. he smirked against your lips at the sound of your muffled whimper, his index finger slowly teasing you.

he pulled away, his lips on your neck. he spoke between kisses to your skin, "yeah, not so talkative now, hmm?"

"gotta do better than that."

without warning, he accepted your challenge and slid his finger into you with ease. you moaned softly, his queue to add another as you closed your eyes in pure bliss.

"what's the matter, baby?" he teased, "cat got your tongue?"

you couldn't help the moan that escaped your lips, "just fuck me already."

"i'll think about it."

"lando!"

"this is fun, don't you think?" he threw your teasing words back at you, making you groan. your mouth fell open at the feeling of his thumb toying with your clit as his fingers worked inside of you, moving at a delicious pace because he knew your body and what you liked like the back of his hand. and he knew what buttons to push to make you beg for it, and boy was he going to push his limits today.

"tell me what you want, baby," he said, his teeth tugging on your earlobe, "c'mon, pretty girl."

"want you," you moaned, "please."

"see, that's all you had to say."

he slowly pulled his fingers out from inside you as you sat up, letting him pull down his boxers. his dick sprung free, slapping him in the stomach before he helped you lower yourself down onto it. you both moaned in unison at the feeling of him stretching you out, his hands gripping your hips as you slowly started rocking back and forth.

"fuck," he moaned, grabbing at your ass, your sign that he wanted to take control. he started thrusting up into you, making you moan loudly as he somehow went even deeper than before, "yeah, baby, who's pussy is this?"

"yours," you moaned softly, one of his hands coming up to pull down your sports bra, your tits bouncing freely as his fingers tweaked with your nipple.

"sorry baby, i didn't hear you. who's did you say?"

"yours, lando," you said louder, "fuck."

he moved his hand, fingers coming back to rub tight circles against your clit, "yeah, bet he wouldn't fuck you like this, would he?"

you shook your head, but that wasn't good enough for him.

"words."

"no," you said, "he wouldn't."

"yeah cause you're mine," he said, his thrusts somehow going deeper and faster in the confined space the two of you were in, "all mine. got it?"

you nodded, "always."

he smiled, bringing you back down for another kiss, a kiss full of love and passion despite how hard he currently was slamming into you. you moaned into his mouth, pulling away to speak, "just like this, fuck, i'm so close,"

he nodded, "me too," he spoke softly, "come for me, baby."

it didn't take much longer until you were squeezing around him, thighs shaking overtop of him as you moaned. he followed pursuit, his hips stilling as he came undone, the both of you sitting there for a minute to catch your breath.

you laid on his chest, his hands playing with your hair softly. you smiled at him and he smiled back down at you, "i love you, you know."

"i know," you smiled, "i love you too."

he pressed a kiss to your forehead, "you hungry?"

"i could eat,"

"perfect," he said, tapping your hip, "let's get dressed."

after getting yourselves situated, you smiled as he placed his hand on your thigh, pulling out of the parking lot.

"you know," you bit back a laugh, "you should get jealous more often."

"i literally hate you." he sighed before laughing softly.

"you love me."

"i do."

[w2soneshots]

omg can you pls do a jj x reader where shes simon's sister and he catches them making out then gets all mad because he thinks jj is just being a playboy (im sry idk how to describe it 😭😭) but then realises how much they love each other

ty and i love your fics 💕💕

Not what you think -KSI

words: 0.7k+

warnings: angst, secret relationship, arguing.

summary: you accidentally fall in love with your brother’s best friend.

notes: hey babe!! I’m pretty sure you sent in my last JJ request (correct me if I’m wrong) so I’m gonna name you 💕. Anyway let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!🙂🫶🏼

Me and JJ have been secretly dating for almost three months now. We've known each other for years since Simon's my big brother and they're best friends but just last year I realised I had feelings for him. I didn't act on those feelings so just kept them brewing inside for months because I assumed JJ didn't feel the same.

Until one night we were in a club, celebrating Calfreezy's birthday. We were both a little drunk so had some liquid confidence. He kissed me. But not a little peck, a full on make out session in the back of the club. I was shocked at first but when my brain registered that the person I'd had a massive crush on was basically showing me that he felt the same, I began kissing him back, with a slight sense of desperation and lust.

After that night we didn't talk for just under a week. Then I got a text from JJ asking if I would come round to his house to chat. I agreed, got ready and was outside his front door within thirty minutes of when he sent the message. We sat down on his couch, he was the first to speak. "How are you?" He asked. "Uh, I'm ok just a little confused." I fiddled with the hem of my top. "Confused about what?" "We kissed. You remember don't you?" I started with slight annoyance in my voice. He nodded. "Well you've been acting like it never even happened." He sighed "I'm just, you're- you're Simon's sister. We always agreed to 'never date the sister' but," he took a deep breath "I've liked you for a while now y/n, and I'm not sure if you feel the same way but-" I broke his sentence by kissing him, hard. "I'll take that as a yes then."

After that day we started dating. We already knew each other really well but he still took me out on a first date, then a second and well, now I've lost count. Since we decided to keep the relationship a complete secret we've both had to twist the truth a little. For example I told Simon that I had a boyfriend and JJ told him he had a girlfriend but we just avoided showing pictures or talking about each other.

We're planning on telling everyone this weekend at a party me and JJ planned especially, at my apartment. I'm really nervous and a little worried about how Simon will react. I spent the Friday night setting up so I could focus on getting ready on the Saturday. I bought a bunch of alcohol and some non alcoholic stuff for Tobi. When the day of the party rolled around I had a long everything shower then threw my hair in a towel while I had some lunch. By 6pm, I was fully ready. The party starts at seven. JJ came around forty five minutes early so we could talk about how the hell we were going to tell everyone (but especially Simon) that we'd be secretly together for months.

"It's gonna be fine, calm down." JJ gently rubbed my thigh as we sat on my sofa. I smiled up at him then moved myself closer to him "you're so cute." I whispered, our lips just millimetres apart. He closed the gap by pulling me into him and onto his lap so that I was sitting on his legs. My hands snaked around his neck and his rested firmly on my hips.

"What the fuck." I heard from the front door. I jumped up and my eyes widened when they met Simon's shocked face. In seconds both me and JJ were stood and making our way towards Simon. "We can explain-" JJ started. "No. You- I can't fucking believe this. She's my sister man!" Simon shouted, I flinched. "Simon we've been together for a while, this isn't something we chose. It just happened." I tried to soften the blow slightly. "What do you mean a while, how long?!" "Four months." JJ answered. "Four months! And you didn't think to tell me?!" I sighed "I was worried you'd react like this." "Well what do you expect when I find out my best friend's fucking my sister?!" My eyes widened. "It's not like that man. I love her." Simon's jaw dropped. "You love her?" JJ replied with a nod. "Oh."

"Hey guys! What's up?" Ethan burst through the door. "Uh, me and y/n were just telling Simon that we're together." JJ told him. "You what! Oh my god that's great! Isn't that great Simon!" He flung an arm round Simon's shoulder. Simon's face calmed "yea. I guess it is." A smile spread across my face. "I'm really happy for you too."

[hwashotcheeto]

Announcement!

Today I want to introduce you all to my male ninth member of ATEEZ character!

His name is...

Moon Kija!

Honestly, I'm so attached to him, he's like my baby. 😭 He started off as a self insert (and still kind of is) and then grew into more of his own character. I hope you all love him as much as I do. 💜

My lovely angel @malldreamprincess helped me massively with his creation and with the making of this post, so thank you, my love. 💜

So lemme tell you about him. I'll start with a list of some basic stuff (like how K-Profiles has theirs set up):

Stage Name: Kija

Birth Name: Moon Kija

Position: Visual, vocalist

Birthday: December 3rd, 2000

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5'5 (165 cm)

Weight: N/A

Blood Type: N/A

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Kija was born in the US, but moved to Korea when he was little. His mom is Korean and his dad is Chinese. He was raised learning both Korean and English, but since he moved back to Korea, his English deteriorated a little.

He went to school with Jongho, and they auditioned at KQ together (Kija didn't really want to go at first, but he wanted to go with Jongho). Kija auditioned as a vocalist and was signed on as a vocalist.

Kija is shy and reserved, but very emotional and impulsive. He thinks with his emotions before he thinks with his brain, which he admits has gotten him into trouble before. But he also thinks the availability of his emotions helps him comfort his members better.

He has a couple different hobbies, like playing video games and calligraphy.

When he's shown his room in lives, he's displayed his bed that's stacked up with many different plushies. Kija says he sleeps with all of them every night.

Kija has also said that one of his favorite things to do is go live to spend time with ATINY. Furthermore, he loves participating in fan meets and performing on stage.

Now his relationships with the other members:

Kija is babied as much as Jongho, as all the members love them both. He's the closest with Jongho and treats him like a brother, since they went to school for so many years and auditioned together.

Seonghwa babied Kija the most, keeping him close in most situations. ATINYs teased Kija a lot for how much Seonghwa loves him and how flustered Kija gets over the attention. Kija calls him "Eomma" in retaliation, and Hongjoong "Appa" by extention.

Kija and Hongjoong have a slight parental bond, where both he and Wooyoung will cling onto Hongjoong and either love him or annoy him. Hongjoong has said its both a blessing and a curse.

Speaking of Wooyoung, Kija is also close with him, who will often fight Seonghwa for. The other members have admitted multiple times that Seonghwa and Wooyoung often playfully argue over who gets to spend time with Kija. When Wooyoung wins, the two of them wreck havoc on the other members.

He sees Mingi as an older brother figure, since Mingi took care of Jongho and Kija a lot when they were younger. ATINYs have noticed that in stressful or scary situations, Kija will always reach out for Mingi first (even if Mingi is screaming like a banshee).

When he's with Yunho, he's not as shy and reserved as he usually is. Yunho helps him get out of his comfort zone in a safe way. Kija has mentioned before how Yunho helped him explore some new things and make him more comfortable overall.

The members have said that Kija and Yeosang hanging out is one of the quietest times from the two of them. They're comfortable with each other, just talking or cuddling, being quiet and soft.

Kija has said that he goes to find San if he needs physical comfort. He says that San gives the best hugs and cuddles out of all the members, and how he treats him like he's a big teddy bear plushie.

For Kija's appearance, I feel kinda icky posting pictures of a real person and using them as the face of a character, so I won't be doing that.

But I imagined Kija with a small frame, but he's got enough muscle to protect himself and match up to his members.

He usually has short hair that's just long enough to go past his eyes. He has big shiny eyes (like Seonghwa heh) and small lips.

(I feel like I'm describing Hiro from Big Hero 6 but more introverted and shy)

I hope you all love Kija as much as I do. 💜 For the future, I'm still thinking of what I'll do with him in terms of fics. Right now, I don't have a series planned, nor do I have any fics, but I'm waiting to see if any ideas pop up.

And if there's any questions, don't be afraid to ask! 💜

So there's Kija! 💜

[derangedhyena-zoids]

Hello, back with more disturbing, fucked up Zi biology facts re: Organoids. I'M SURE EVERYONE IS VERY EXCITED (or running away, idk) It always has bothered me I didn't have a solid behavioral bead on how Organoids went from hunting Zoids to teleporting/fusing with cores. Apparently my brain has been thinking about it on some secret extra backburner because I just thought of this all suddenly the other day:

Zoids in general have something like this as a "nervous system" of sorts as relates to their cores. wild and zoidian zoids were more organic-ish while modern zoids' are basically purpose-built

this is sort of how the conduit stuff grows (top) vs is is "populated" (bottom), but the end result is basically the same. You have a core "nerve" suspended in matter in a tube. this blueprint of internal conduit is true for all Zoids, including, Organoids. Except with Organoids the concept just went utterly batshit. so while a huge amount of Organoids' evolutionbeing so conduit-heavy had to do with reproduction (re: adding a whole new step to encase core buds in protective eggs) it also had to do with a heavily-utilised feeding strategy. As I've talked about before, Organoid colonies are hypersocial - they maintain individuality but are all attached to their colony's hivemind. This made them really distressing predators - because while they were smaller than much of the Zoid megafauna they hunted, they did so in groups ranging from a pack to a swarm. One that could perfectly coordinate at all times.

If you're familiar with how wild dogs/hyenas/etc tend to go after their prey you might see where this is headed. I'd post a picture but that'd be kinda rude on random folks' timelines, so if you really don't know google youtube videos of african wild dogs killing large herbivores. basically pack carnivores usually go for weak points like orifices to start ripping into things. which works great when the whole prey is made of food... but Zoids are encased in a lot of armor and the best parts are very difficult to get to. which would actually lead to extremely protracted and dangerous hunts because it takes so long to destroy enough of the Zoid to actually immobilize it

SO the genesis of the whole fusion concept actually lies in the strategy Organoids as a species tried to solve this with - attacks that could directly target the core. Basically a swarm of Organoids overwhelming something, chewing holes in it to access the "conduit" - then, while the Zoid is being overwhelmed by a bunch of Organoids still attacking it, a number of them cling on and shove their own, much smaller cablings up through these 'conduit veins', damaging things and eventually getting access to the core chamber. refresher from my organoid anatomy bullshit - there's three types of this cabling:

one of these is GI - these type usually connect to the craw/stomach but they don't have to (I realized in writing this last night/today that there's some function "rules"/descriptions for these cables I've never articulated, but I've had those in mind for a long time, I'll write them down sometime soon I guess) but re: everything above, In what's basically a starfish move Organoids shove their own fucking guts up directly into a Core to start feeding on it. It's very miniscule individually, but multiplied it'll rapidly damage and collapse the Zoid's core, stopping (and killing) the prey for Everyone

When Organoids became more benign, and Zoids weren't hostile to their presence, they found they could accomplish this same basic thing individually without, yanno, all the Horrifying and Death, so. everyone was happier the end

thanks for coming to my fucked up ted talk. that's why you follow this blog right? lmao

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I finished acotar a while ago and I was gonna write a review right away but then christmas happened and I was pretty busy and wanted to enjoy myself so youre getting like two weeks late

It was fine, I really didnt have any strong feelings about the book itself. Like, my main complaints are that it was pretty boring and directionless for most of it and stuff thats mainly related to the next books, if I just look at it as a standalone I would describe it as "not for me, but not that bad"

That is, until we get to Under The Mountain, where everything just gets really stupid and convoluted. That whole section, which is a solid fourth or fifth of the whole book, severely clashes with the sweet fairytale romance that came before it. It reminds me of how all those twilight-knockoff trilogies in the 2010s would have two pretty low-stakes books worth of basically only romance with some weird magic sprinkled on top, and then in the last book it would turn out that the protagonist and her beloved need to Go To War or the world will end except even worse (also now that I think about it, the first three acotar books also seem to be structed like that, so youre getting two shitty plot structures in one. yayyyyyyy)

There was literally no reason for all of that happen, it was honestly just unpleasant reading about Feyre, who had spent the book recovering from her trauma in a way that was genuinely pretty nice to read about, being tortured for three months until she was feeling worse than she ever had before. And some people might say "oh, thats the point, its meant to be tragic" but it didnt feel like tragedy, it just felt tonally dissonant. Also, the entire ending was so weird and dragged out, like that bit where she and Tamlin are staying one last night UTM for some reason and then she talks to Rhysand before they finally leave and its like, BRO dont stay in the Palace of Torments for any longer than you have to, just leave through that portal-tunnel thing

Speaking of Rhysand, he wasnt that bad in this book but Im sure my opinion on him will change. The main thing that sticks out about him is how sjm simply could not resist ALREADY explaining all of his motivations and portraying him as someone whos obviously so noble, despite all the obviously horrific and completely unecessary shit hes doing. Like, theres that scene where Rhysand crushes that guy's brain when Amarantha ordered him to crush his mind and the narration goes "that was actually an act of mercy from Rhysand" ??? that mightve worked better in third person limited where youre working without the implication that the prose is the pov character's actual thoughts, but since its first person and meant to be Feyre's thoughts I was just like "why is she thinking that when she should be thinking 'holy fucking shit, i just signed my life over to a guy who could squish my mind like a grape if he wanted to?!?!?!!'"

Also, theres that scene where Rhysand comes into Feyres cell to "escape from it all" or whatever and he basically monologues to her about his sympathetic motivations and I just. sarah, girlie, you shouldve saved this shit for the second book. Like, rewrite the scene so that he just comes in eithout a word, hes totally unresponsive to Feyre insulting him or trying to ask him what hes doing here, he just sits down in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, he mutters something vague about just wanting to be left alone, maybe he's even got tears in his idk. I think that would be a far more effective way to have him be sympathetic in a more subtle way than just having him monologue his tragic circumstances and noble intentions at Feyre

Thats about it so far, I'll probably start reading ACOMAF in january when winter break is over and I can read it on the bus and in class again

[goldenquillarchive]

More about 'where the boy gets the guy' and 'sakura notes' please!!

→ Wip Game Post

WHERE THE BOY GETS THE GUY

literally the only info i have written down on this is that it's an alternative universe, it's NorthSonic, it's set in college, North is a popular gay jock, and Sonic is the stereotype breaking Cheerleader wearing skirts and hating on jocks, the only stereotype he isn't breaking is being a cheerleader that's dating a jock, but who can blame him for falling for north?? have you SEEN his arms?? and he makes him laugh.

SAKURA NOTES

is actually two works that are basically the same story but one I've actually thought out and discussed with @ohanny , the other (the one I'll talk about here) is just Inspired by what we talked of together but mainly pieced together by me and major plots were my idea

it's a Canon Compliant to the end of Season One of Pitbabe, It starts where the last episode left off.

Both works are about Kenta visiting Japan after everything happened, to go on a journey of self finding and getting healthy and stuff like that.

In this work kenta obviously doesn't end up in Jail, With the Help of Pete he gets out of any legal issues, Kenta was taken under the wing by the X-Hunter team and was taken care of for a bit, he helped with some Accounting stuff for Alan. Kenta, Babe, Charlie and Jeff got to work and help out the Special kids that were still at the foundation and find Kids that were already adopted and help them back to safety and into an actual SAFE Adoption Centre and everything is Monitored by them closely.

Basically Kenta throws himself back into work, trying to make up for all his mistakes and everything that he was part of that he's not proud of. He wants to prove that he's a good person and that he doesn't want to disappoint the others again.

All the work obviously leads to a burnout, Kenta is still majorly Traumatised and needs time to actually recover

therefore the team (majorly kim and pete) decide that kenta needs to get back into the real world and figure out who he really is without Tony and the Chen foundation.

Kim suggests Kenta should go back to his roots for a little vacation to Japan, and quickly offers to go with him (because he's the one closest with kenta rn) so he doesn't have to go alone.

Kenta eventually agrees after being a little MEH about the idea, but after a good breakdown he decides he actually does need a break, and if the pretty boy he has a silly crush on wants to join, who's he to say no?

so they travel to japan, they stay in tokyo for a while before traveling to a slightly smaller city, but ultimately they settle down for a week or two in a small town that sounds familiar to kenta and itches a place in his brain.

they make a lot of memories together and get closer with every day and often share deep talks at night watching the sky, or just sitting there watching eachother, it's all very intimate for some reason.

a few days in town they stumble upon a very cute tea shop surrounded by cherry blossom trees, they decide to go in and grab something to drink and eat for a break from their exploring.

The owner of the shop is a cute little japanese lady, she's so nice and really happy about kim and kenta coming in, she calls them handsome and makes some small talk with them before letting them order.

while the old lady goes to prepare their food and tea, kenta walks around the shop and looks around, especially looking at the pictures that are hung on all the walls, some of the pictures are really old (atleast over 20 years, kenta would guess)

there's one picture his eyes keep coming back to, it scratches an itch in his brain, something so familiar about it that he can't quite explain.

the old lady notices when he brings them their order and asks kenta if he would like to know about the little boy and the man on the picture.

kenta says he doesn't want to intrude on anything, the picture seems private.

the lady tells kenta that he doesn't need to worry and tells him to sit down, before she proceeds to tell him and kim about the picture.

the picture is 24 years old, the little boy is her 3 year old son named Ken, and the man is the father and her husband. she looks sad as she talks but she's still smiling, happy she gets to talk about the two lovely men in his life.

she tells them it's the last picture that was taken of both of them, it was taken before they both left for Thailand, her husband was visiting some family and wanted to take Ken with him, because the lady didn't want to leave the shop alone she let her boys leave without her.

A few days later, a message reached her that they were in an accident that killed her husband, and her son went missing.

Kim tells her he's very sorry for her loss, and that's she's a strong woman and he's glad she's still smiling and living for them.

Kenta is at a loss for words, he can't shake that the picture looks familiar to him.

They get interrupted by another customer coming in and the old lady leaves to take care of them.

Kenta and Kim finish their things before leaving the shop and going back to their rented flat, kenta is still acting off....a little weird.

when they get home kenta calls pete, asking him to send him pictures of everything Tony kept in Kentas file, everything he had that belonged to him, everything he kept under lock that had kentas name on it.

Kim asks Kenta what this is all about, Kenta then explains that he thinks he's the boy in the picture, he explains how familiar it felt, how everything about this town felt familiar, how it has to be a sign that the name of the town scratched an itch in his brain before they decided to come and stay here.

the next morning, pete sent him everything he could find, and kentas suspicions were confirmed, hidden in his files and belongings was the same picture that was hung up in that shop, signed on the back with a message in cursive that read "be safe my boys, love ma <3"

Kenta takes a few days to recover and make sense of things, Kim and him get even closer, eventually getting so close that they kiss, confess and get together.

Together they go back to the shop but Kim stays outside while Kenta goes inside and tells the Old lady....his Mother, everything that happened.

and that's all i have on that ur so welcome for that, I hope it's gonna be as stuck in your brains as is it is in mine.

genuinely don't think I won't be getting to write this for a while, purely because I don't think i could make it justice like i wanted it to. i want to practice more writing before writing something as intimate as this, but if anyone wants to take it off my hands I'd be more than happy to give you all my thoughts so you can write it for the fandom!

[netherworldpost]

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but how do you get started working in, as you said, weird quasi-startups?

This is a history retelling, not advice, because the world I came up in doesn't exist anymore. I'm in my 40s and started in the '90s.

If you skim over all of this WATCH THE VIDEO AT THE END HERE IS A LINK TO SAID VIDEO IT IS A CONDENSED VERSION OF IT from a local design firm.

The video is not a rick roll. This one is though.

Now I hope you can trust me. This is a long post. I'll use HACKERS to break it up.

I have no connection to Coudal.

Or Rick Astley.

I get into the nitty-gritty Small Scale Stuff

Jim Coudal gets into the nitty-gritty of the Medium-to-Large Scale Stuff... in 2011. The basics remain the same.

I am realizing in linking this that I don't think Coudal Partners exists anymore? I think they shifted their entire focus to Field Notes notebooks?

Anyway, still relevant.

(No -- 1994... and... maybe a bit earlier I can't remember that far back)

As I say -- this is history, not advice -- I'll try to pepper in some advice.

In some ways that's bad (Flash animation used to pay really well when weighed against what it took to learn how to do it).

In some ways that's good (things like Stripe and BigCartel and Shopify and MailChimp and Tumblr exist).

I was an anxious, studious kid really into mythology with very little access to it. I had access to the internet for about 6-8 hours a week, so scrambled to cram as much into my brain as I could. A reminder this is the early to mid 1990s.

I realized at some point that websites could be built without special tech. I explicitly remember seeing a web hosting company have a late night television ad on Conan O'Brian, offering a few megabytes of space free.

I learned HTML.

Then CSS launched, and I learned CSS.

(...yeah, this... this was the '90s)

From there I learned Macromedia Flash (later Adobe Flash) because it could do things I couldn't do with programming -- because of my own limitations, the web's limitations, free server limitations... etc.

I learned Flash the same way I learned HTML and CSS -- taking things apart to see how they worked, making my own stuff, breaking things down (and just breaking things)

At some point I was able to secure my own computer + internet and just hammered things constantly until I had a grasp of the basics.

So with that technical background...

"I am a web designer, do you need a website?" I would just offer up. Friends on forums, people in shops, a few cold calls that didn't work out great because I'm not a talkative person.

Just. Constantly. Networking.

Which is an accurate but kinda useless term, right?

"How does one network, does one just shove business cards into the face of everyone they meet and say 'I am a business person'"?

...yes.

Diners, comic shops, tattoo parlors, independent restaurants.

To illustrate the differences of when I started versus today -- any time I went somewhere that didn't have a website, I would ask the person behind the counter --

"Hey are you thinking about launching a website?"

When it wasn't the owner/manager at the counter and they would say something like "I just work here," I'd ask for the manager's contact info to follow up.

The success rate of "I ask" versus "I get money out of this" was maybe 1%. Just constantly asking, constantly trying to build the business books.

Never taking things personally when ghosted or just ignored or it fell through.

Cool but it's 2023/2024... so... the second half of my story may help.

I eventually gathered up enough clients and student loans to go to school for design. I have mixed opinions on this.

I had a few teachers who needed Extremely Cheap Intern-Level Labor and I was able to parlay my web experience into these opportunities.

I learned print design, branding, color theory, the basics of art in school.

I learned better business models by doing business and fucking up and getting burned and taking notes on how to fuck up less and get burned less the next go-round.

I applied for an ad agency job and hacked their website to rebuild it to show I could build websites and they were like "okay well we have to hire you now because we're in love with you / we fucking hate you"

(both emotions at the same time) (I worked there 11 months then went to grad school / see above art school link, it also applies)

Great thanks but maybe get back to advice?

I made things. I still make things.

Pins, buttons, shirts, bridge models, a chair, a lamp, I hired blacksmiths to learn about blacksmithing, I traded logos for beer, a theater company needed artwork so I engaged in a multi-prong trade of theater tickets and candy and / and / and / and with various other friends / clients / non-sense makers.

I made things and if people didn't have money to pay for them, I took some of their product.

Sometimes I paid other people with that product for things I needed, sometimes I paid with my labor for things I needed... etc.

Kept doing that until I could leverage skills acquired against people with money. Meeting them the same way.

"Hey who does your website?"

"Hey who does your menu design?"

"I like your logos, do you have someone working on your brochures? Oh you hate your logo? Okay to be honest... I was using that as an opening line. I hate it too. Want to chat about redoing it?"

I fucked up a lot. I got burned a lot. There was more success than failure so I was able to keep going.

Modern Day Translations

A lot of that will work -- build a portfolio, keep it updated, if someone mentions they are launching a whatever, chat with them -- but also look at freelance agencies.

If you work for trade, then scale the work offered for the product received. Don't be afraid to say "nope, out of scope."

People who will take +50% of the commission but help you find the commissions and handle the tax paperwork.

Ultimately, the basics are the same.

Make stuff. Put it into a portfolio.

Get comfortable introducing yourself.

Learn not to take rejection personally.

Keep going. The number of clients I would get on the first project discussion was probably 5-10%. It would take an average of 18-24 months, average, before I'd get money out of people. MEGA EMPHASIS -- A LOT OF -- MEGA EMPHASIS "hey remember me? I didn't have budget before, but now I do!"

By "make stuff" I mean.

Stuff.

(Things I have actually made)

Websites, blogs, writing, temporary tattoos, posters, ads, animations, plush toys, paintings, poems, books, rubber stamps, ads, grocery store packaging.

A whirlwind of stuff.

"That sounds expensive and difficult"

Yes. That's the bad news. There is no magic solution to it aside from "be careful with your time and cash and contracts and good luck."

I am not a soft person who is going to promise you everything is going to be okay and if you just work hard enough then things will work out and if you're talented enough then money and clients and business will come to you.

The brutal reality is it is going to be extremely difficult for as long as you do it and my #1 piece of advice is "constantly evaluate if you would find more happiness in a traditionally structured job doing weird stuff on the side."

It is absolutely possible to make a weird job.

It gets easier if you have financial support from family and/or a partner who will help you survive the lean times. I mention this in the spirit of honesty -- a lot of folks with weird jobs had/have one, or both.

In my opinion, this isn't talked about enough, and it leads to this mystic "This person must be doing well and I can't get off the ground, ergo something is wrong with me / my work / my process / my..." -- not necessarily.

Right, wrong, or indifferent -- some people have extra-to-their-personal resources help that allows them to make stuff. More, bigger, and/or faster.

I had the advantage of starting 30 years ago when the talent pool was smaller and harder to find and the work was harder to understand by people who were hiring.

Take what you have and try to make more of it being careful to spend as little as you can with it as it grows.

That's the essence of business.

Everything else is salad dressing.

SO MANY WORDS

I'll wrap up:

Start small and affordable

Figure out how to keep going when you want to stop but can keep going

Figure out how to stop when you want to keep going, but can't

Figure out how to start again when you have to stop

This isn't a moral or ethical dilemma -- it's business.

Cold, hard, ruthless business.

"Does it make sense to continue putting resources into this? Yes? Keep going.

"No? Pause.

"It never will make sense? Do this as a hobby, possibly an extensive and advanced hobby, possibly as 'this is my job in the sense I spend my resources here and the tasks I do for a company for money are life maintenance, on par with brushing my teeth."

Never work for free. Barter to a level mutual benefit.

If you want to work with other people, build a portfolio and keep it stocked with the stuff you want to do. Make up your own projects from literal scratch.

Most of the time, real work is better than personal work

BUT personal work is always better than no work.

This is cross-sectional -- if you want to make logos, it's better to show real work logos.

If you don't have any, make personal work logos and fold these into real work brochures, which you WILL DO but DONT WANT TO DO, as you build your logo business.

As your logo business builds up, replace real work logos + keep personal work logos and reduce brochures until you have enough (of either form) of logos to just have a logo portfolio.

Here is that video from Jim Coudal again talking about his (former?) design firm, Coudal Partners, and how it evolved to partner to create Field Notes

A final disclaimer:

I do not know Jim Coudal, I've never worked with him or FIeld Notes, they don't know I exist in any capacity. His projects are significantly larger than anything I have the appetite to tackle (I like small, weird things nearly exclusively)

This video + countless similar talks helped me build me up to where i am with advice, ideas, and the strength to get through the invariable weird / hard times.

[lollytea]

any huntlow miraculous au ideas ??

Disclaimer: I have not watched miraculous in nearly four years. I do not know what is going on in that show anymore and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

However the reason I did start watching it for a time was because I was intrigued by the concept. I liked this idea of different facets of your personality only on display depending on the identity you're presenting and how mixed up that can get when it's a romance between two people who know each other with and without the mask and how the relationships shift depending on that. It's very basic superhero trope stuff but idk it scratches the little part of my brain that's obsessed with psychology and messy convoluted character dynamics. So the idea of doing something like that with huntlow DOES sound cool. But I have no concrete ideas.

Me personally I don't like doing AUs with huntlow unless it keeps them in the Boiling Isles setting and it keeps their respective backgrounds as GG and half-a-witch Willow. So I'm not big on Human AUs. So I wouldn't think too much about a typical miraculous AU myself. I'll leave that to other people to have their fun with. I love the miraculous AU art they do 💕

But WHAT IF. WHAT IF WHAT IF

Okay okay okay. So what if we start off with the idea of Willow having a celebrity crush on the Golden Guard. Remember that AU? So lets say its pre-season 1. So Willow is still in the abomination track and is kinda a shrinking violet. So the Golden Guard happened to rescue her once and now she's all smitten over how cool and confident he is.

Anyway, Willow is forbidden from doing plant magic. However Willow loves to do plant magic. So her solution to this is to do plant magic in secret. One thing leads to another and now she sneaks out of the house every night and uses her magic to assist civilians in need. She's never really had a chance to let loose with her powers before. It makes her feel so cool and strong. Plus she really does empathize with how it feels to be vulnerable so she likes to help when she can. So she's developed a little bit of a superhero-ish alter ego.

The aesthetic of this is just making me go insane. Like the plant based superhero costume Willow would fashion for herself. It'd be so dorky and over-the-top. Im seeing shit like a poofy little dress, a skirt made out of giant flower petals, boots made of leaves, vines snaking all over her limbs. Fairycore vibes. I also really like the idea of using her magic to spread a cluster of tiny flowers around her eyes in the shape of a domino mask.

She calls herself "Force of Nature" (or "Force" for short.) And honestly, the name suits the person she becomes. When she's taking on this identity, Willow's full chaotic side comes out. She's got a big personality. She's ruthless, she's talkative, she's mischievous, she's everything that's always been bubbling under her surface. I wanna say she even takes a little inspiration from the trademark Golden Guard dazzle.

Now Hunter is the Golden Guard and he believes it's his duty to help and protect people of the Boiling Isles. However, he begins to notice that Belos is constantly preventing him from doing so. Hunter keeps getting sent on tedious tasks to collect ingredients for his uncle's experiments or deal with business matters or WHATEVER. There is a distinct lack of helping going on here. And everytime he tries to respectfully point it out, Belos insists that the work Hunter does is important. Admittedly, Hunter is beginning to get a little frustrated. He certainly doesn't want to believe that his uncle is wrong (His uncle is never wrong.) Buuuuut maybe his uncle just isn't seeing the big picture correctly. Maybe he just needs a little convincing.

So this is when Hunter commits himself to sneaking out of the castle at night and helping all the people that the Golden Guard was too busy to help. If he used his GG persona, word would get around and he'd be in trouble for disobeying. So Hunter opts to carry out these deeds unmasked. He might have a special outfit for the occasion but his full face is on display. Doing these things has nothing to do with building Hunter's confidence, it's just to do what's right.

He keeps a journal where he documents all the good he's done while carrying out this secret job and intends to hand it over to Belos once it's full so his uncle will finally understand. The mental gymnastics are insane here. Deep down, Hunter knows Belos would kill him if he ever found out and he's taking this secret to his grave. But the journal helps him feel less disobedient so we'll let him have this.

Anyway of course Willow and Hunter eventually cross paths and decide to work together for the greater good. A friendship is formed and it does not take long before Hunter falls head over heels for Force of Nature. And because he's so transparently himself with none of his Golden Guard swag, he's a shy blushy mess around her. It doesn't help that she's one of the only people besides Belos to call him by name.

(He didn't tell her his name at first. It only slipped out after he developed a crush and he found that he had a really hard time saying no to her.)

Meanwhile Willow is very fond of Hunter. However, I feel like she's kinda blocked herself off from entertaining the idea that she might have feelings for him because of her crush on the Golden Guard. It's a very idealized crush and she's built it up so much in her head that it subconsciously prevents her from even thinking about anyone else in a romantic light. But I think some feelings for Hunter might be sneaking up on her without her noticing.

Anyway Willow has hung around Bonesborough often enough that she knows the exact times the Golden Guard shows up for patrol. She slinks around the areas where he's known to meet with people and discuss business. She'll wander around town on weekends just for the off chance of spotting him. However, though she's brave enough to march right up and say hello, she really hasn't a clue how to talk to him like a normal person so all that comes out is word vomit. (Again, this is pre-season 1 Willow. A bit of a nervous wreck.) Anyway she's stopped to "talk" with him enough times that he remembers who she is now. So that's a start!

On Hunter's end, there's this one schoolgirl who he usually meets in town and she's a massive stroke to his ego. She's clearly starstruck with him and he's eating it up. He's constantly playing up the GG persona for her to the point that it's almost flirtatious. He doesn't really notice that he's doing this and doesn't understand that she might take that the wrong way. Hunter doesn't have any strong opinions about Willow Park. She's sweet, she's a little awkward and he humors her whenever they meet. But he doesn't really form a deep friendship with her for quite a while because it can be very difficult to make connections when you're playing a character.

Anyway. There's a basic premise for your consideration. Hijinks ensue and whatnot.

[finnglas]

gonna use tumblr like livejournal for a minute, just personal musings under the cut.

I'm so scattered today. I can feel my brain reaching frantically for anything it thinks will give us a little hit of dopamine to combat this horrible feeling of entering the pet-with-cancer gauntlet again. The last time I did this was in 2010 with my heart-cat, and it was fucking awful. I had nightmares for almost a year afterward where I would wake up screaming and crying from dreaming that she hadn't died after all and she'd just been slowly starving to death while I neglected her, or some other equally terrible narrative my subconscious made up out of the guilt of not being able to save her.

I'm hoping that in almost 15 years maybe my subconscious has learned some better coping methods than just torturing all of us.

It also means that I'm questioning any plans that take me away from home, or any decisions to change jobs or... Well, you probably get it. Her first appointment with the oncologist is Thursday, so we'll know more then. Feeling guilty that I have to request time off from work again right after I finally got my requested schedule, but they don't do evaluation appointments on any days I'm already off.

(Just talking out the guilt at this point.)

Anyway. I was going to talk about the projects I want to work on and how I can feel my brain fluttering around them like "maybe this would distract us." Let's see if it does.

I want to finish the final Maya & Grace story and collect them all into a little omnibus that I can do a print run of. Problems: I have to decide where I want them to go. It will also have to be a slightly longer story than the other two-and-a-half to make the collection long enough to print. I also want to revisit/rewrite "Shiver," since I felt like it wasn't ready to publish when I put it out, but I had promised a friend that we would both write Halloween stories that year and then they passed away over the summer, so I felt like I needed to keep that promise somehow. But it needs some finessing.

Night Is For Hunting needs some rewriting too. Basically what got published was my first draft. And that's how I learned that I cannot write to someone else's deadline, even with an extension. I'll have the rights for all three books back in April of next year (April? June?) and would like to celebrate by releasing the Director's Cut of NIFH so that I can get on with the business of writing Wilderness of Horrors.

I wanted to write a thoughtful blog-article type piece on the effect of economic class on my choice of narratives. I realized that I write a lot of stories about people's complicated relationships with their hometowns - wanting to leave, but also not feeling confident in where they're going. I read an advice book once that was like, "What does your character want?" and the answer to almost all of them was "To get out," and it really comes back to the fact that I write small town, working class characters as a default. And when you're from a small town in an economically depressed area, you understand from the start that there's not a bright future for you there. You can graduate high school and get a job at the 7/11 or the Piggly Wiggly and get married to one of your old classmates and have kids that you don't have the time, attention, or money to care for -- or you can leave. You can go to a bigger town with more opportunity and people you don't already know. And you might end up worse, but hey, the dice are there for you to roll. Add to that if you're queer or neurodivergent, especially in a time before the internet, and whew buddy! You've heard that all authors just write the same stories over and over? That's the one I keep writing. I guess because it's mine, in a lot of ways.

Blackthorn is languishing thanks to all the stress and stuff but it was going so well and I really want to finish writing it before I focus on the rewrite projects (there are three). But the rewrite projects are so seductive because lmao they're already written. I just have to fix them. And I'm so much better at fixing them.

All right. clawed myself out of the worst of the abyss for now.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Thoughts: Emails

The emails are my favourite part of the book, partly because that is how I show affection: I write lengthy letters to my friends during their special occasions, and I keep every message of love they send me in a cherished chest. The emails detailed their growing relationship and love not only in a wonderfully written way but also in a way that speaks true and is personal to me.

That being said, I went into the movie knowing they can't do the full extent of what's in the books out of practicality: the audiobook takes like fifteen minutes to read an email, and with visual media, there has to be something on screen, and long montages don't work. I've accepted this and just was curious about how they were going to deal with it.

And I liked that part of the film! It wasn't as innovative as how the texting scene was done, but texting allows that since texting is a conversation, basically talking online, while email is not that, and is something closer to continuous monologues, so it can't be presented in the same way. What we heard was less poetic or epic than the book emails, but it was soft, sweet and adorable in its own way, and I loved the book quotes we did get: "When we’re apart your body comes back to me in dreams" & "I'll be damned but I miss you", and I do wish it was longer and we got to hear more.

But with that being said, two things I noticed:

1. From the middle until the end of the email scene. I think starting from Henry's "Wait don't they have napkins in Texas?" line, there are actually at least two overlapping audios of their emails playing, it's just one is louder and subtitled. All I could pick up from the other audio is

Alex: Dear Henry, I miss you too Henry: Dear Alex/ Affectionately

but there's definitely more, I just couldn't pick the words up. So what is the other audio??? What are the other emails ??? Are there more that was recorded but wasn't even put in the movie??? I NEED to KNOW!!!

2. We may not get a lot of emails in the movie, but when the emails were leaked, the newscaster who questions Miguel says there's 72 emails, and the British newscaster still calls them "the Waterloo letters", which means in universe, the "Hometown Stuff" email thread, with “memories are difficult", " I thought, it someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire", and my favourite:" A INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES" with certain changes to fit the movie canon, EXIST IN UNIVERSE, even if we don’t see/heard it.

If I'm gonna stretch this point a bit further, since Henry looked so damn broken (applause to Nick here) and Alex mentions “most private and intimate thoughts", "fear and truth", and honestly as sweet as it is, I don't think the emails shown in the movie reaches the level of "most"," I imagine most if not all emails in the book still took place and were written between movie Alex and Henry with certain changes: "Paris?" during the time jump between polo and Paris, “You are a dark sorcerer” maybe after their night in Paris, "A Mass of fools and Knaves" maybe a little earlier than where it is in the book, or have the "Dear Henry, so I just came out to my mom” be the last email in that thread, "Bad metaphors about maps" between runway goodbyes and the email leaks...

I literally don’t know if this brain rot made me happy about the potential cross-universe point that is their emails or even sadder that these were the bleeding words that fucking asshole Miguel leaks to the world. Henry’s face during the whole scene breaks my heart into pieces.

But there you go, something to think about.

P.S: Also I really really really want to hear Taylor and Nick read the book emails :D

[lizzychanstuffss]

Because I am feral for pre-game durge x Gortash cause villains in love that I don't actually have to roleplay is very fun for me to write about!

here are my headcanons for each of my Durges and their relationship with Gortash was.

Spoilers for the entirety of dark urge

Lilith x Gortash

Lilith has very low self esteem which stays a constant even when the game starts, yes this is because she sees herself as nothing but a monster. But oh boy Gortash came into the picture he started to compliment her and most likely told her "You know you aren't a monster they think you are" and she was so desperate to hear that from ANYONE that she ate it up

Like the whole plan to take over the sword coast and such was given to her by bhaal and she just figured "Okay I'll do it if it gets you off my back" and then Gortash most likely pitied her cause she didn't have anyone to talk to about stuff and just ended up opening up to Gortash and he probably felt bad that she was just kind of doing this so she could maybe have a normal life.

Lilith fully would sometimes use the excuse of "Gortash told me not to kill that person" so bhaal wouldn't punish her. It's not like bhaal is going to ruin the whole plan just cause Lilith is lying so she doesn't have to kill someone like that would be stupid.

After sometime of spending time together and just spending late nights talking and getting to know each other and several glasses of wine most likely or whatever other drinks. the two of them fuck and then Lilith confesses she feels quite deeply for the man, prompting Gortash to of course brush it off at first cause they're drunk.

After a while, though the two can no longer deny their feelings and start up a relationship they keep on the down low for the most part. Also keeping it on the down low in case things fall horribly apart either because of bhaal or some other reason they are both aware that this could go horribly wrong but it's something they both enjoy and don't want to let go of quite yet.

Of course it does go horribly wrong in a way neither could predict, and what makes it worse is Lilith was going to forsake the entire plan and just ask Gortash to marry her and run away. Now I like to imagine Orin hualed Lilith's body all the way to Gortash's office and then threw the corpse at him and Gortash heartbroken didn't know what to do so he tried his best to make it better and basically her corpse sent off to the colony in hopes that maybe one of the necromancers would raise her from the dead and well his wishes came true.

During this time that Lilith goes full feral he comes to visit her under the guise of just making sure things are going smoothly all the while just taking his time to mourn the loss of his lover. Now during this time I fully believe that Lilith had a note with a ring ready to give Gortash and he actually found it on Lilith's body and has kept it ever since.

Now onto the other pairing who is way more chill then Lilith is

Siliin(she/they) x Gortash

Siliin does have self-esteem issues but this is mainly whenever they get into the main game. Otherwise they just cant be bothered to look down on herself.

She concocted the plan by herself and started to put the plan into motion before realizing they needed help and then finding Gortash. Realizing the two of them work together well fully welcomed him into the fray soon after.

Siliin is more of a freak in actual weird fucked up ways then Lilith is and Siliin really isn't as disgusted by their urges as Lilith is. Like Siliin likes to indulge sometimes while Lilith will indulge but more out of habit then actually want to. Meanwhile Siliin they enjoy the fucked up shit, yeah you wanna eat this flesh off a corpse hell yeah brother they're all for it you go!

Now Siliin is not evil by any means, yeah she's fucked up in the brain but like she's not really going to go out of her way to be a bad person cause it just isn't what she feels like doing. Like besies the urges she has no real drive to do evil things.

Now Siliin also doesn't have a drive to really do good things either and therefore that's kind of why they work as a the dark urge cause they just do whatever is easiest and submitting to the urges is easier then fighting of course once they get into the game they actually do put in a little more effort.

Most of their lack comes from the fact they are constantly depressed about their life, but Gortash comes into the fray and suddenly they actually feel like they have a reason to keep on going. Like they don't know what it is about this guy that gives them the energy to keep going but she really likes it.

Like Siliin enjoys their late night talks and meetings and wine nights together. Eventually Siliin realizes that she has fallen for the guy, they don't really mind of course they just keep it to themselves for a while.

Until one day they are talking to someone and she gets asked what she thinks of Gortash and Siliin just gets really excited actually about getting to gush over her favorite person. Gortash overhears and realizes that Siliin might like him a little to much.

They two have a talk and Siliin admits to feelings right off the bat and Gortash accepts these feelings admitting he's been feeling the same and the two agree to start a courtship of sorts or as much of one as they can have.

They are having little dates and late-night walks together and sharing chaste kisses fairly wholesome stuff and then they go back to his home and they have some baller sex. Like full of passion and kisses and just all-around pretty good.

Then fast forward Siliin starts to just not care about the plan anymore and just wants to leave it all behind and run away with Gortash, now this time Siliin does end up telling Gortash the plan and he cant agree to it. They are to far in the plan for this to happen and this sends Siliin into a deeper depression than they already were making them an easy target for Orin.

Now Gortash doesn't visit Siliin like he did Lilith cause he cant bare to face her, cause he fully blames himself for the state Siliin has gotten in.

[k2ntoss]

Hey luv, it's me from the "how long have you know them" prompt, first of all, I LOVE IT OH MY GOD JEALOUS JASON ALWAYS MAKES ME ALL GOOFY AND GIDDY AND SHIT—!!!

But now you awakened a 12yo me with her weird obsession with THE British man™, John Constantine;; what about a kenjaku!reader? (I don't know if you're into jjk or something but I would DIE to see this)

good night, sweetheart !!! I'M SO HAPPY YOU ACTUALLY LIKED IT i was a little unsure of how it turned out or if it was what you had in mind but i'm really glad you enjoyed it <3

OHHHHH let me tell you that you've just triggered my jjk brain rot again but i'm gonna be honest, i do have to start season two bc it came out while i was still working on my thesis and i didn't really allowed myself to get into much stuff by that time (i still finished almost over the deadline lmao) and i still have to go back to the manga bc i'm trying to get them on physical format BUUUUT i do have a small idea i'll try to develop properly.

john constantine is not much of a chatty person, most like the kind of annoying dude you meet when you're getting into a pub from where he's being kicked out for trying to start a fight; so basically he's kind of an amusing guy, always into troubles and followed by a scent of pure misery, a smart mouth and no sense of respect but he's also a silly little dude who craves for some comfort and company, which he somehow finds on the stranger that he almost kicked that foggy night, a stranger that smelled as something unknown and supernatural. the scar in your forehead calls his attention, he's not delicate at all when he points at it "what's that nasty thing you have there, love?" he towers over you, fingertips lightly gracing the stiches-shaped scar that rounds your head and you don't think twice about telling him, maybe he won't believe you but his silence confirms he's not a normal human "so it looks like we're both neck deep into some shit" and even when you're used to be the one carrying the conversation you let him do the talking.

OKAY this counts as a drabble??? i have a few more things on mind to get this to a nice development but i think it's good for a start so once i've got myself properly educated again i'll write more about this :3

[comfortlesshurt]

Saw that post about fic-writing-related questions to ask you and so:

1. What's the word that appears most in your current draft?

2. What's your preferred writing font?

3. Where do you get your inspiration? (And is it possible to learn this power?)

4. What's your favourite place to write?

5. Talk about your writing and editing process

6. What's the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic?

7. How do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

8. Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

omg yes, thank you!

I just started something last night but it's only 40 words, so I'm gonna jump over to a more substantial WIP to get a better answer for this one. For chapter 6 of the bigger fic I'm working on, the top three are: Keith, Shiro, and time. (Or if you want to exclude names, time, when, and enough!)

I picked Times New Roman 12pt when I was like... 12, and I never abandoned it.

It jumps around! Over the past year, it's honestly mostly been from reading others' fics! (Which is also why I've gotten more fanatic about using the "Inspired By" feature on AO3 recently, because I fully think it's okay to take inspiration from others, but the other person deserves a little boost in reads too!) In the past, I've pretty exclusively relied on other people giving me prompts, but I had to figure out something else when I desperately wanted to write and there was no outside interest.

This one's probably boring, but I can't stand writing on my phone or a laptop, so I exclusively write at my desktop in my living room.

For writing: 1) Get idea (the hardest part). 2) If it's multi-chapter and I know that from the start, I'm not allowed to write anything until there's a basic outline jotted down. 3) The actual writing: Active writing doc on one monitor, outline on the other (if it's a multi-chapter work where I need to keep track of how the current part interacts with other parts), and Spotify in the background! For editing: I'm awful about it. I'm one of those people who edits as I write even though it frustrates me every time. BUT in exchange, the final editing is a lot easier because I've already edited it during every drafting session. I try to do the editing at the start because then it doubles as me reminding myself what I've already written and might give me ideas for what I want to write in the rest of this session. The final editing session after the writing is done is usually just me googling synonyms for the words I think I overused!

Oh man, I'm sure I'm blanking on something more interesting from further in the past, but a recent one has been the actual timeline for Voltron. Like, I always knew it was set in the future, but I never thought about exactly when since the show seems to be intentionally vague, and I had to dig into fan theories to get a good answer to that. Usually if I need to research something, I'll stick to an overview because I will go overboard if I give my brain half a chance, and a brief overview is usually enough to avoid writing anything completely wrong and immersion-ruining.

Ooh, I switch hobbies for a bit! I used to think you can't really call it a hobby if you don't do it almost every day, but that's a silly idea and I've given it up. If I don't feel like writing, I don't write. Usually, I'll get really into reading again during those times, but I might also go back to playing the guitar or drawing. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's fun and it's not writing. I just do that until I feel like writing again. That keeps me from associating writing with being frustrated and upset since I only write when I actively want to.

Oops, kinda went into them above already! But other than those ones, I also obsess over statistics, coding, and general math nerd stuff since those are what I went to college for. There are probably other hobbies, but of course they've all popped out of my head now that I'm trying to think of them!

[chinchillamajor]

Hey, all. It's the Actually Older Simon cosplayer, here in the # simon petrikov mpreg tag again, with a question, this time.

See, I've been really enjoying my time seeing all the comics and drawings folks have been making, especially the ones with their own continuity. Absolutely gorgeous stuff.

And yet, I'd be lying if I claimed that browsing this part of the F&C fandom hasn't been. Bittersweet. In a way that's been really hard to describe.

But I'm wondering if anyone might be willing to draw a commission I have in mind.

Details under the cut, but heed the content warning before the jump: tw for pregnancy complications and miscarriage talk.

Let's have a little storytime, first.

I'll start off by admitting, I didn't even know I could do that.

My body is, and always has been, a wonderland of medical maladies. And as a trans man from the 2000s until people settled on the word "nonbinary" for folks like me, I'd been taking regular birth control shots that disappeared my period for decades now. I have a very scattered memory, but I always made and kept my shot appointments on time.

Until that one time I didn't.

It was an offhand comment from a friend that got me thinking. "I've been craving frosted animal cookies like whoa lately," I'd said, and she replied, "Maybe you're pregnant."

We both paused. Then cackled to each other for a moment, at the very thought.

And then I remembered how nauseated I'd been getting out of nowhere, lately.

I *did* remember to get my Depo shot last time, didn't I? I must've.

Nope, said the two bars on the test stick, later that night. You didn't.

My head was spinning. I gagged and coughed around the idea; it was too big for me to swallow. I was over 40, for crying out loud. How could it be that I'd get pregnant for the first time, NOW?

I waited to see my doctor. Waited a *while.* Because I honestly didn't know what to do. Previous versions of me would've been mortified, and hustled off to get an abortion immediately.

And yet. And *yet.*

The more I thought of this unlikely kiddo, the more I started wanting to fight for it. If it wanted to be a human THAT BADLY as to hole up in *my* body... shouldn't I give it a little credit?

I told basically nobody, the whole time.

And then, one day, there I was, sitting in my doctor's office, and she was telling me my body was already starting to lose it.

Well. If the kiddo changed their mind about wanting to stay, I thought, I'm not going to hold that against them.

I remember laughing. Covering my face with my hands, and breathing in. Like I'd just been shown the camera filming some wretched prank happening.

I'd just nicknamed it the day before, I told her. My little dandelion. And now...

I won't go into the process itself, in the days that followed. Some things, words just can't describe very well. (I will say, the auto-generated targeted ads that started showing me baby supplies, a few months later? THAT. Was just RUDE.)

Time passed, as it does. I hit my head, that January. Got brain damage. Slowly got better. Slowly.

When it was over, I shoved the whole experience aside. Went to my mortician classes. Never brought it up, because that would mean I'd have to think about it.

Everything's fine, I'd say, if folks said I seemed a bit off. Like Simon said at the bar. Same old, same old.

Just last month, I found a new favorite show. All my friends were talking about how one of the characters happened to look eerily like me.

I'd never seen Adventure Time in my life, before Fionna & Cake, but it made me so happy to cosplay older Simon. I was trying to learn a lot of the same lessons he was, after all.

And then, I started seeing my fictional doppelganger in some fanart where he was heavily pregnant.

My mouth hung open for a while, stunned by the hit of pure joy juice that'd just erupted in my brain.

*Simon* got to know what that felt like.

I hit Follow on the tag, and never looked back.

And after taking the time to sit and feel The Hard Feelings, I'm honestly feeling more okay with everything now. Even if it's mostly because I know there's a version of this fictional character I resemble who got to experience what I didn't. The ups, the downs. Everything in between.

I finally opened up to my therapist about it all, this week. She'd known about the miscarriage, but was glad I was ready to talk about it, almost a year later.

I'm so many flavors of grateful to get to see it. Even from a distance.

---

So. That's my take on Simon mpreg.

And I have a commission I'd like to place, at some point.

A very pregnant Simon, getting a visit from a Simon from another dimension, where his kiddo changed their mind.

This other Simon’s not glad it happened, but he's not sad, either. He just wants to give the expecting Simon a big hug, wish him the best of luck, and to tell him to treasure every moment he has with his kiddo.

That he should always know, somewhere, someone's rooting for him. For both of them.

And then the non-pregnant Simon’s back in the Time Cube, thanking Prismo for granting his wish.

You gonna be okay? Prismo asks.

Yeah, Simon says, looking up at the stars and smiling. I think we're both gonna be all right.

If there are any in-fandom artists who feel up to this? Feel free to message me about it. I'll be asking about your rates.

And if you read all that, just... thanks. For listening. I really do appreciate it.