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whatifyoulivelikethat · 8 months

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trouble, m | jjk

... aka, jeon jungkook’s dick is so good and your pussy is so heavenly that faith in humanity is restored.

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; a hookup turned awkward meeting at a goddamn McDonalds of all places; smut (fem reader, hair pulling, heavy making out, m-receiving oral, doggy, penetrative sex, fingering, m-masturbation); non-idol!BTS – ft best friend!Park Jimin being a wingman little shit classic

“Oh, I’m in trouble.”

Panic coursed throughout his veins.

“I can’t be here.”

And maybe a little bit of arousal too.

“Jungkook, this is a public place,” Park Jimin corrected him. “Anybody can be at McDonald’s.”

He almost got up from his seat, except he was boxed in a corner of a crowded fast-food restaurant and Jimin shoved the tray full of food right in front of his face. The other side of the table held various shopping bags full of things that Jimin thought his mother would like for the upcoming new year. Why did Jeon Jungkook have to be here? Well, he was the one guy from Busan who happened to be Jimin’s close friend and Jimin’s mother’s favorite friend of her son’s. Therefore, Jungkook obviously had to select something for Jimin to buy just so Jimin could say, Jungkook thought you would look nice in this cream sweater, thus gaining maximum best son points.

Yeah, Jungkook didn’t really get it either, but he was told that he was getting free food out of it.

Didn’t think it was going to be McDonald’s, though.

Also didn’t think that his fuck from last night was going to serendipitously appear, standing in line looking drop-dead gorgeous as she pushed the fur-lined hood of her coat back. Her lush hair spilled out in soft waves over the shoulders of that the black suede long-line stunner, far too much luxury for the city mall. And then there was her face. What god thought it would be funny to allow someone to look that effortlessly pretty bare-faced? Who put such sexy eyes on such a cute face? One glance and one would think, how cute with those dimples and pillowy lips, and then do a double take when the shape of those foxy eyes sunk in, holy shit, fuck me right now. Or, at least Jungkook had thought that. Still thought it, looking at her again in the daylight. Tight white top, heather gray sweatpants that didn’t match the lavishness of the jacket, and easy black-and-white sneakers, clearly everything thrown together to grab some food quickly while being a goddamn snack herself.

Jimin was carefully positioning Jungkook’s meal in front of him – fries, massive sandwich with both a beef patty and fried chicken patty, tall Coca-Cola and all, chatting away, and all Jungkook could do was gawk like an idiot.

Like he said, he was in trouble.

Tomorrow.

The ghost of her hand slid up his chest, caressing his skin while her voice curled by his ear, soft lips kissing down his neck.

I hope your friends ask about me.

The image entering his mind, the way she smiled above him, her skin alight from his mood lamp with specks of red light playfully dancing over her jaw, her fingertips tracing his muscle making his heart race, her soft thighs against his, smooth and sleek and making him insane.

The devil was in the details.

“Hello? Did you space out again?”

Jungkook jumped, startled that Jimin was glaring at him. “What?”

Those small hands stiffly pointed to the food spread before them. “Eat? Come on, it’s busy and we don’t want to take up too much time.”

“R… Right.”

He had about two seconds to take a bite out of his sandwich before Jimin casually asked in between bites of curly fries, “Oh yeah, you ran off last night with that sexy lady. How did that go?”

Jungkook choked.

That’s all I am, sex and shallow feelings, tch, what an idiot, acting like it was ever anything else, I don’t need anyone and I won’t need anyone, go ahead and act all high and mighty in front of your friends during the day, we all know you’ll be begging to crawl in my bed at night.

Mind a billion thoughts a minute.

You tilted your head and found yourself not that hungry. Still, some fries and a drink sounded good, so you picked that. Reached into the fur by your chest and pulled out your cardholder, tapping it to pay as you continued scowling in your head, trying not to let it show in the form of resting-bitch-face.

Ten minutes before this moment had been an annoying confrontation. You considered if you could have handled it better.

Or more savagely.

You should have pulled up all those messages you had left on read.

Sigh, but, no, you hadn’t thought of it. Ultimately, it wasn’t worth your time. It would have been a childish move. Why was that anyway? Why was it that you needed to be the “bigger person” and not be petty when some guy got all up in your face about you not wanting a relationship as his supposed friends crowded around in a circle around you two, clearly silently intimidating you? In public! Fuckin’ bum-rushed you on the street as if the showy dramatics would illicit shame or obedience. Yeah, because you were a woman who would just kill to be in a relationship, right? You scoffed internally. ‘Cause it was just so important to be in a relationship, more than, oh, I don’t know, actively not being in one that was definitely, absolutely gonna make you miserable?

Also, he hadn’t even been that good in bed.

“At least I am sex. You couldn’t even be that for a slut with as low standards as me,” was your frigid reply before walking away.

You couldn’t understand it. What was so great about relationships anyway? People only got into them for easy sex. A lotta work for a shitty time. You could get laid without the emotional baggage of another, thank you.

Although, sex probably wasn’t easy for people who acted like little bitches.

Hah.

You thanked the employee and accepted your food, wandering over to the drinks fountain with your paper cup. A basic day of running errands on your off-day now ruined by this bullshit. Nothing a little McDonald’s couldn’t fix though. Something about the nostalgia of hot, simple, cheap fast food made it more delicious. You probably should have gotten a sandwich or something, but you didn’t want to be too full and not want to do your errands after. Fried potatoes it was.

Hey, people called you sex, not the epitome of health.

You notched your finger on the tab and watched the honey-sweetened black ice tea pour out of the nozzle, which was the exact moment your intrusive thoughts popped up.

You avoid making deep relationships so that no one will notice when you die.

Thanks, brain.

Funnily enough, no one had ever said this to you. You would think someone would have noticed by now but, no, this was a revelation you made yourself once you were old enough to understand yourself better, and it came randomly while showering. Hmph. Goddamn showers. You slipped past a lovey-dovey couple to sit by the window counter, plopping down on one of the stools to munch on your fries for a bit. Alone. Some people wanted a lot of people to surround them. A sense of community and togetherness. Some people wanted a chosen few, valuing the quality over quantity. And some people were like you, loners who accepted who you were and that was NSFS – not safe for society – patiently waiting for the one that really understood you.

Or maybe there wasn’t anyone like you and you were just delusional about that.

Anyway, didn’t really matter. This kind of thing simply ended with thinking in circles. Sure, you could dwell on the whole question of existence, the why, but you had determined the more important was the who, the self within, and that wasn’t driven by the why. The who was driven by instinct.

If your instinct was to eat, fuck, sleep, repeat, then so be it.

Oh, and occasional responsibilities, like getting your tires rotated. Hence why you even outside today in the first place.

Hah, what a bother.

You munched on your crispy, hot fries and didn’t bother anyone. You learned not to expect too much out of people. They talked a lotta talk and didn’t walk much walk. I want this, this, and this, you heard a whole lot and nobody did it. A speech was all well and good, just not nearly as half as interesting as doing. And if you didn’t want to do it, you didn’t waste time beating yourself up over it. If that resulted in you only hooking up and avoiding relationships that you didn’t feel like committing to, then at least you weren’t disingenuous or fake.

Yup.

Looking out the window, you watched the people rush past with their shopping bags, linking arms with each other to avoid slipping on the sidewalk. Snow flurries falling down, down. The glass was clean enough that you could see inside the restaurant too. Tables with families and friends sharing simple, cheap fast food and turning it into a collective memory. Laughter and conversation echoed around your silence.

The looking glass showed you two ways.

You didn’t mind it, but it was evident you weren’t part of it too.

Hmmmm.

Your gaze stopped at a pair of guys. One of them was wearing a big black bucket hat. You noticed him because large brown eyes were actively staring back at you. Ogling, even.

What the–

You turned slightly and sat up straight with alarm as Jeon Jungkook stiffened and shifted, scooting closer to the person next to him, sneaking a not-so-subtle glance at you. You continued to look back in stunned confusion.

At goddamn McDonald’s?

Is no place sacred?

It was only less than twenty-four hours ago, but last night felt like another world.

Your fingers framing your face.

You licked your lips. Staring into his eyes, everything dark except for the mood lamp he left on. Cycling lights slowly drifted on the ceiling in a colorful haze. It was easy to remember all the shit people liked to say about you when you were alone, she’s so pretty but I hear she’s only into casual sex, what a shame, but you found solace in knowing that they had one fact wrong, because casual sex was for casuals and that was the wrong adjective to describe what you did.

Definitely the incorrect one to describe what transpired between you and Jeon Jungkook last night.

Your hand slipped from your cheek, and you touched his skin, bringing his face close to yours, keeping the whispers only in the air that you shared with those trembling lips.

“You’ve got cute eyes, but I bet you can be sexy when you want to.”

What was wrong with this? What was wrong with your comfort zone being someone else’s hands on your waist, pulling you closer? What was wrong with accepting the surge of power you felt licking the side of his mouth, adding slippery friction to the harshness of the metal rings pierced there, drinking in his moan as you teased him? It was just so annoying caring about all that noise trying to get to you, telling you to tone it down, telling you to stop, and, for what, don’t you have shame, that’s not how women should act, no. What they really meant was that was not how they would act. The consensus was to strive to be the respectable audience, always strive to fit in and be the quiet ones.

You envied their desire for silence.

Because you had to be loud.

You tangled your fingers in his long black hair and pulled his head back, running your tongue over his neck, tasting that skin and the anticipation vibrating in those muscles underneath. Admired the shivers under your body as you rolled into him, nice and slow and agonizing, whispering dirty things to him, things you wanted and none of it safe for work, finally bringing his head back down to nip at those gasping lips, intending on turning them pink and prickling with want, kissing him softly in contrast to the way you tugged at his hair every time he tried to intensify it.

“P-Please…”

His hands on your bare ass, hiking your dress up, digging his fingernails in, trying to keep his breathing even as desperation bled into it.

“You said to show you what I like,” you murmured. “I like teasing you.”

You pressed your body to his so your perfume would cling to his clothes, his bedsheets, his skin.

This was going to sound dramatic, but Jungkook was pretty sure last night she saved his life.

Actually.

That sounded very dramatic.

And kind of pathetic, so Jungkook kept that thought to himself, but nevertheless he kept that secret close to his chest, next to his racing heart that couldn’t seem to slow down, especially when her nails raked down his back while her tongue snaked around his, sucking on it lightly compared to the force behind her hands, the contrast between kiss and touch causing unbearable levels of arousal. He hadn’t expected a casual conversation to turn into this. He liked to think he was maybe charming, perhaps suave in some cases, occasionally daring, but he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Casual sex could only stay casual if both people got the memo.

And Jungkook knew he didn’t want to get in too deep unless he was sure and the truth was that he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to want someone that much. It was fucking terrifying to be that vulnerable. How could he ever be “sure”? If he failed at his own goals, the only one he was letting down was himself. If his plans didn’t go as planned, well, that sucked but it was okay because it was only himself and he could do something about it. But getting his heart broken by someone else – ugh, what could he do about that? Worse, everything became so complicated when people didn’t say what they meant and didn’t mean what they say. It would be nice to experience the good stuff without the chance of getting his heart broken.

Cut out all that risky business.

It was a bit strange that this situation hadn’t felt like a risk. Of course it was, how was it not risky bringing a woman you barely knew to your apartment with the intent to make out and who knows what else, but, hey, the moment had felt right.

Or maybe it was the gods playing tricks on him.

But, anyway, her tongue wrapping around his balls felt amazing.

She pressed her soft lips to the sensitive skin and sent shivers through his legs as her fingernails dragged down his tense thighs. He hoped they left marks, or at least lingered for a few hours. Looking down, and those sly eyes were gazing back, like they knew exactly the effect they had on him. Sparkling when her name escaped his lips in a pleading whisper, glinting in the low light as her head tipped back and her tongue curled underneath his balls to lick that thin skin behind him, making him gasp and almost fall over, his palm smacking into the wall to hold him up. A jolt of radiating pain shot up his forearm, and then her hot, wet mouth surrounded him and swallowed his cock as deep as it would go.

He wanted to say he had made a sexy moan, but he was ninety-nine percent sure his neighbors were awake, so instead Jungkook whimpered and rested the crown of his head against the wall, feeling his hair stick to his face. Apparently, his embarrassing vocalizations didn’t matter though, because her head started slowly moving back and forth. Her eyes closed, humming steadily in satisfaction. His breath caught in his throat, forgetting all about the pain and instead drowning in the pleasure that rose like scalding steam. Ecstasy shimmered through every blood vessel in his body. Soft lips, swirling tongue, tight throat that closed in around the swollen head and pulsed, pulling him in deeper, and Jungkook could feel it, his cock twitching and getting harder, the insistent softness on the cusp of not enough, and yet so much was happening. Flexing wet muscle under the head every time she backed up, trapped in that warm sleeve, her cheeks sucking inward and drawing him deeper every time her lips pressed into his crotch, her graceful fingers fanning over his thighs and ass, stroking his tingling skin in time with her tongue.

Holy fuck.

Maybe it was dramatic that last night she saved his life by blowing his dick with such incredible skill, but Jungkook was sticking to this drama.

Wasn’t casual sex supposed to be wham, bam, thank you, next. Not, holy shit, my cock is so fucking deep in her throat I can feel her neck muscles flexing, but perhaps he had done some good deeds or this year was going to be extra prosperous in the sex front (it wasn’t a question that came up much among those elderly fortune tellers his mom visited, how odd). It had to be something like that, because how was he supposed to know the friend of a friend was going to be, one, hot, and, two, down to fuck, and, three, actually good at it?

And, four.

Readily manhandle him. But not in a threatening way. In an unafraid-to-say-and-get-what-she-wanted way. The direct, forward assertiveness was sexy as hell, but Jungkook wasn’t going to tell other people that he liked it when a woman took charge. That wasn’t exactly small talk. It didn’t come up naturally. He didn’t even tell the women he had previously slept with. It hadn’t felt like the right atmosphere. And, well, the sex was just okay. He figured he had to be careful in what he said when he wasn’t sure if they were going to be long term.

He had to cover his ass.

Speaking of.

Her fingernails sank into his ass and dragged down harshly as she tilted her head back. His throbbing cock slid down along the back of her throat, sending uncontrollable tremors up his chest and down his legs, pain and pleasure and perfection.

Jungkook slapped a hand over his mouth and let out a muffled half-scream.

She started focusing exclusively on the head, back and forth, running her tongue over it with her plush lips constricting the base, holy shit, and his eyes rolled back in his head, his hand falling, exhale thin and thinning out even more as he was reaching the end. It was too unexpectedly good, fuck, it made the muscles in his back tremble and his blood boil, o-oh, fuck, made his heart race and his calves strain with tension, I’m gonna c-cum, made his scalp tingle and his mind go blank with pleasure and he never thought an orgasm could be this intense unless he was the one getting himself off, but he was wrong, he was so fucking wrong, because he could feel the tightening in his core spiraling a bit too much and he was going to lose his fucking mind.

He gasped and screamed under his breath.

The high hit him like the sudden violent snap of elastic, so sharp that he was winded and able to feel the muscles of upper thighs spasm, shooting a rather impressive amount down her throat, almost regretful he didn’t pull out so that he could see how much it was, but none of that mattered, ensnared in wave after punishing wave of indecent, gratified lust flinching through his shaking, hard muscles as he felt his cum fill her mouth.

She swallowed.

Jungkook almost punched the wall, the oversensitivity almost painful, his hoarse voice on the verge of cracking.

“C… Careful…. P-Please…”

Those eyes flickering up, and she seemed to understand. Gently, pulling back just a little. He almost buckled at the sensation of the sucking lessening, such a good feeling but overwhelming in the afterglow, and then it was cloud-nine bliss, achingly perfect in the way she carefully slid his cock along her tongue, his twitching length gliding in the puddle of saliva and cum, repeatedly, soaring high like the moon, the thick viscosity creating a slick friction that was wicked heaven.

He wanted to say, oh, yeah, I lasted a long time after that.

He did not.

I’m in trouble.

He realized that the second she got on her knees on his bed, raised her ass, and turned her head back to smirk at him. Made direct eye contact as he tried to hide his gulp and put on the condom, keeping his hands low so she didn’t see them quiver. He was staring a bit too much, but she simply reached over and took his right hand, caressing his tattoos, and then he gasped as his fingers touched slippery wetness, looking down, and was he allowed to fall in love with a beautiful pussy at first glance or not allowed? Fuck, she even had a cute asshole. Was that too dirty to think or what?

Jungkook didn’t contemplate it too much as she slid his fingers into her, the soft, firm walls wrapping around him.

“Ready?” she hummed.

“Y- Yeah…”

In hindsight, he could have said much sexier things other than, yeah, but that was the least of his problems. Getting on his knees, sinking in, and he nearly blacked out with how good it felt. A steady controlled pulse surrounding him. Somehow, his cock became even harder, his fingers splaying out over the juicy curve of her ass, deeper, so tight, and it was all her, that cute face smiling back at him with the tip of her tongue tracing her upper lip. Naughty smirk widening, captivating foxy eyes filled with mirth shining in the darkness of his bedroom.

Jungkook didn’t even care.

He was just trying not to bust a nut at this excessive amount of sensuality that he hadn’t been prepared for.

“You look very sexy with your hair over your face like that.”

He hadn’t even noticed the strands of black covering his vision because he had been too busy looking down.

“Your back looks… oh, f-fuck… looks so beautiful…”

She grinned and lowered herself on his sheets to push back against him.

He had stuttered because her pussy had squeezed him in between his words. There wasn’t any time to be eloquent anyway, not with the sudden need surging through him at this improved angle, his grip on her hips tightening and thrusting his hips forward, wincing at how loud that smack was, surely someone outside heard, but there was nothing he could do about it, didn’t want to stop, couldn’t stop, sinking his teeth into his lower lip and trying not to add any additional noise, wanted to slow down but it felt so good when he was so deep, so tight and choking his shaft, the sensitive head of his cock rubbing against her walls and swelling. Even with the condom he felt so much, pressure and power and intensity, placing a palm on her lower back and groaning between clenched teeth, the arc of her ass so obvious and the bounce so visible that he would dream about it, all of it, the slaps of body to body, thrusting hard, rough, his ears tingling with her low, sexy moans, too good, felt too good, and he wanted to last longer but just couldn’t.

Threw his head back and yelled under his rushing exhale, straining to contain his cry in his chest.

Didn’t last much longer with a new condom and in missionary position either. He kept staring at her pretty face and perky tits, feverish desire racing with every slap of hips-to-hips, his hair falling into his eyes, struggling to see her hands clutching his pillows, and then she arched her back to give him a full view of those perfect, tasty-looking, hard nipples. Honestly, he was proud of himself for lasting the ten minutes that he did. Five minutes. Er, at least he hoped he lasted more than five minutes.

He was sweaty and gasping but he asked anyway.

“Sorry, I… Are you upset at me?”

She tilted her head, confused. “For what? That felt amazing.”

His face burned as he mumbled under his breath.

“I… I usually last longer…”

“Oh.” Blink. “Oh!” She grinned at him, and it was so devious that Jungkook realized this must not be the first time she had heard that. “I don’t care about things like that. But, uh…”

Her sex saved his life.

Her next words murdered him on the spot.

“You know, when you came, uh… I’m sure you were trying to be quiet and all that, but you sounded a bit like one of those faraway screams that happen in movies. You know, when someone gets thrown far away mid-battle. A very tiny, aaaaaaa…”

Not the best sex of his life comparing his orgasm noise to the Wilhelm scream.

You could admit it.

You shouldn’t have said that.

But also shouldn’t people be told of such things so that they became more self-aware? It took everything in you not to burst out laughing in his presence (although you did laugh a lot when you arrived home). And it wasn’t as if you were going to see him again. For a while, anyway. Definitely not the next day at goddamn McDonald’s.

Right?

Wrong.

You gawked at Jungkook until the other guy with him noticed and started staring at you too. Oh, jeez, it was Park Jimin, another one of the guys who had been there last night at the birthday party. You remembered him and his distinctive, bubbly giggling all night. He had a great voice too, making listening to karaoke actually bearable. He was, however, the kind of guy that wanted to be in the know about everything and everyone.

Aw, shit.

You weren’t ready for another repeat of this morning.

Jimin’s round, discerning eyes recognized you immediately even in your casual clothes and lack of makeup. You snapped your head back to your empty paper packaging. Snatched up your cup, pushing away from the window counter and stepping down, winding over to the drinks machine to top off on tea before sprinting it. Hey, McDonald’s wasn’t that cheap anymore. Inflation was a thing. Better get as much as you could before leaving.

You tossed the oily packaging and your napkin before turning around, immediately nearly colliding with Jeon Jungkook.

“Gah!”

“Oh!”

And he grabbed your waist.

Of course, he did.

Your bare waist, because you were wearing a crop top under your heavy coat.

You kept your drink-holding hand out of the way and gasped into his chin, your other hand landing on his left upper arm and squeezing, suddenly tense all over. It was hard and solid under your grip, twice as tense as you were.

“S-Sorry, Jimin pushed me…”

You vaguely heard Jungkook mumbling but you didn’t have time for this, didn’t have time to be let down again by humanity. Didn’t have time for Jeon Jungkook getting into your face about you fucking and dipping, scolding you about being too blunt, and possibly even directly calling you a bitch. Not that you didn’t deserve it. You just didn’t want to find out that cute-faced, criminally-undercover-sexy, surprisingly-a-very-good-fuck Jeon Jungkook could maybe be a shitty person.

Didn’t want to know.

Better not to know.

“S’okay. Let me get out of your way,” you mumbled back, turning your head away.

“You’re not in my way.”

You heard him say it, didn’t believe it, and yet his hands were still around your waist.

“Actually… Please be in my way.”

You froze.

Snapped your head back and found yourself centimeters from Jeon Jungkook’s face.

Oh, I’m in trouble.

He let go of you, slowly, his touch hovering as if you would make a break for it in the middle of this crowded McDonald’s, as if you would bowl over small children and their Happy Meals to escape, sending plastic toys flying in your wake. But you did no such thing, instead holding your breath, realizing how upset you would be if this was another you’re an insensitive whore moment. The truth was that you didn’t care until you did, or at least until you fully comprehended that you were glad to see Jungkook rather than completely indifferent. Why? He hadn’t said anything special. Just, please make it home safely. You had thought that was weird, please. Brushed it off as him being polite or even maybe trying to entice you with that light touch of submissiveness, anything but the possibility of him actually, honestly, straightforwardly caring about your safety.

You learned to expect people not caring for much except for themselves.

“I… Good afternoon,” you managed to get out, stepping closer as a crowd of kids squashed themselves against the drinks fountain, clambering over each other with their paper cups, yelling about how you snooze, you lose even though there was plenty of soda in a fast-food restaurant.

An adult, presumably a guardian, ran over to tell them to quiet down.

“Y… Yeah…” was Jungkook’s strangled reply, startled at you attempting conversation.

You held your sweet tea and tried to lightly bow, but realized that you could hit him in the chin if you did. You stepped aside to avoid that, and then his hand darted out. Stopping. Suddenly aware of what he was doing, stuck on what to do, looking at you helplessly for instruction. This was some love song or romcom movie shit.

No.

This was a goddamn McDonald’s, not awkward-sexual-tension meeting grounds. You grabbed his hand and pulled him along, spinning to find yourself crammed into the table with a grinning Park Jimin and too many shopping bags.

“Oh, hey. Funny seeing you here.”

Jimin was stifling his giggles.

You immediately let go of Jungkook’s hand, your face frozen and expressionless.

“Ah, Jungkook, can you watch my food?” Was it your imagination or did Park Jimin just bat his eyelashes? “I’m gonna go put the gifts in my car.”

Oh no.

“Stay right there!”

Jungkook looked mortified. “Jimin, wait–”

But he did not wait. Ruffled fluffy black hair, mischievous smile, and a whoosh later, those crinkly paper bags gone like a disappearing act, leaving you and your fuck of last night with a half-eaten sandwich and cold fries.

“I… He… I’m sorry,” Jungkook sputtered, jerking erratically.

You clutched your tea like a liquid social safety net. “Sit down. Children are staring at us.”

Sure enough, a small crowd of curious peepers were climbing the low half-wall and peering at you and Jungkook. They were being plucked off one by one by a pair of exasperated ladies who looked like they desperately needed a nap. As soon as one child was removed, another climbed up to take their place. Inquisitive little bundles in brightly colored jackets, pom-pom beanies, and sipping soda from paper cups. Jungkook whipped his head back, exposing his red ears under his bucket hat for half a second, saw the kids, and sat down beside you, turning his back to them.

Now even bigger peepers were directed at you.

“Uh…”

You cleared your throat. Drank some tea. “Erm.”

“I... I didn’t expect to see you here.”

You almost choked on your chuckle. “Yeah, uh… same.” You ticked your head to the outside, in the general direction Jimin had run off too. “Shopping for new year stuff?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Mostly for Jimin’s family. I usually shop online.” He scrunched his face with a little bit of dismay. “It’s too much on the weekends sometimes.”

“Yeah, I’m the same.”

Your knee touched his.

He looked at you.

Don’t look at me like that. I’m gonna want to kiss you.

“And we’re in the middle of a McDonald’s.”

“What?”

You could see stray strands of black brushing against his cheeks. Could see those starry brown eyes under that big bucket hat, those pink lips parted and that small mole underneath them trembling, something you had noticed last night even in the low light because you had been licking up his neck and watching his open mouth, savoring the way his whine travelled by vibration through your insistent lips from his throat.

“I don’t want to make out with you in front of all these children,” you clarified, letting out a slow, concealed breath. “But if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to make a bad decision.”

People only get into relationships for shitty sex.

Right?

I want to be around him.

“Um… I think Jimin wanted to get an air fryer and who knows what else… I’m supposed to carry the big stuff,” Jungkook grumbled, sounding like he wanted to abandon his current adventure for a different kind of adventure. Still, he begrudgingly remained a good friend. “But tomorrow…?”

You weren’t sure if he was aware that he was getting closer to you, practically thigh-to-thigh and shoulder-to-shoulder, but then you put your hand on his coat sleeve. He froze up, holding his breath. He smelled good. Fresh and clean, like laundry from the dryer. He was close enough for you to clearly discern his scent.

Close enough for you to remember.

“I need to get my tires rotated,” you finally remembered. “I’ll call you.”

His cheeks flushed pink. “C-Call me?”

“Yeah, give me your number.”

She asked for it like it was easy.

Who cares? Jungkook determined, after all, that he was easy. Or at least his hands were hurriedly fumbling with his phone as he blurted out the numbers as calmly as he could, which was probably not that calm, but who cared? Not him and definitely not his dick.

“Thanks. Don’t forget to answer or I’ll feel dumb.”

“Wait, give me your number.”

She paused, glancing at him. Shivers all over when their eyes connected, and he was sure he saw a guarded flicker in those eyes, but then it was let go, her lashes lowering, casting away the unknown reservation that he hoped she could tell him one day. And yet she stayed silent, turning her phone over in her hand.

“I want it,” he breathed.

Her eyes shifted back up. Ghost of a smirk on those lips.

Like she was trying to hold back.

“I’m going to give it to you,” she whispered to him, and he had to lean in, no, wanted to lean in and the scent of her perfume caught him, sweet and smokey, all those memories flashing back, in the dark with fistfuls of his sheets and breathing in, his pillows, his blanket, his clothes, heavenly and arousing. “Just saying I come with a warning label.”

“What kind of warning?” Jungkook found himself asking even though he was desperate to indulge in this risky business.

“I’ll never let your last that long,” she purred with a smug smile. “Don’t give up, okay?”

Jungkook felt his cheeks burn as he typed down the number and kept his retort to himself because Jimin suddenly appeared and the conversation was abruptly over. He jerked his head away quickly as she mouthed a tiny aaaa under her breath, teasing him, and this was a bad decision but he answered the call anyway when it came.

What are you doing? You don’t do relationships. People don’t like the way you do things. They’re complicated and full of secrets. They can’t be honest. You’re too honest. It doesn’t work.

Your intrusive thoughts had worked the graveyard shift and were now doing overtime.

They don’t like you.

You weren’t that surprised at these thoughts. You also did the absolute most when fucking and probably not enough outside of fucking. Some would call this karma. You would call it a nuisance. Shut the fuck up, brain. You already knew all this. You knew and you muted all that sound, all that excess noise that warned of tomorrow being ruined, chose to shut it all out until there was nothing but the melody of Jeon Jungkook’s bated breath.

You could listen to your head and let those thoughts fuck everything up.

Or you could place your fingertips on Jungkook’s lower lip and feel his gasp travel through your nerves, feel the way your blood shimmered in your veins and raced faster. Caress that pink curve to stop at his lip rings, tangible, hard and soft juxtaposed. Breathe out, your eye line lifting, up, finding those large dark brown orbs surrounded by wispy black tendrils.

Jungkook wanted you.

That was pretty obvious, especially from his hands trying to slide up your skirt.

He was just waiting for you to start it off.

You could listen to your head or choose to feel and listen to your instincts, dangerous as it was.

I’m in so much trouble, fuck.

You knew it, and yet you leaned in and kissed him anyway. Something about him, the way his eyes instantly closed when you came close, the way he trusted your eyes wouldn’t stay open, the way his lips gave in to your insistence, no, yearned for it, his fingernails sinking into your hips and yanking you close, onto his lap and into his heat, and then it was darkness and tongue and breathing into his mouth, hot and unnerving and addictive.

You hadn’t even noticed you had closed your eyes until you felt your hands sliding into his hair. Barely even perceived how you held your breath when your chest pressed against his, gasping, too many clothes in between and all the anticipation, dancing your nails over his scalp and sucking on his tongue, his melodious moan melding with your heartbeat roaring in your ears.

What is this?

You rolled your hips into his lap and Jungkook groaned, breaking the kiss and tipping his head back, his hardness twitching between your legs, insistently pressing up through his sweatpants as his neck became exposed. And there was nothing you wanted to do but press your lips to that mole on his neck, tasting that tan skin and inhaling his scent, wanting to be covered in it, drenched in it, dancing kisses up his jaw and catching his ear with your teeth, tugging on his hair and rocking your hips back and forth, turning hot friction into hot, damp friction.

“I c-can’t…”

His moan rang in your ears, his fingers pushing up the sides of your panties and driving them into the crevice of your ass, creating a damn thong with too much fabric.

“Can’t t-take it anymore…”

Pulled hard and you gasped, feeling the slinky fabric slip in between your folds, soaked and soaking, strong hips knocking into that dug-in fabric and practically bouncing your pulsing pussy on his rock-hard erection.

You curled your arm around his head and tipped his face to yours, seeing his glassy eyes and open mouth, his shaking breath feathering against your chin, and if Jeon Jungkook was a liar, then he was a damn good one, one of those liars so deep in the lie that it started becoming truth.

He whispered your name in the shared air, between his and your trembling lips.

He’s too desperate to be a liar.

You closed the distance between lips and tangled your tongues in the tango, lifting your hips at the same time, smiling at his whine before silencing it by pulling his hand between your legs, pushing the thin fabric aside, and then the collective sigh. Yours, shivering satisfaction. His, driven desire, fingers exploring and sending shivers through your legs. Wet and slippery and soft. Pressing his face into your neck and then gasping when his soft lips pressed to your throat, light kisses and wanton need, his other hand sliding up your sweater, pushing it up.

I want you.

He slid two fingers into you and moaned into your skin, slow, pressing his touch into your clenching walls, his eyes closed under you. In, out, building pleasure, your hips following, riding his hand, deeper, intense, hard, his tongue licking your collarbone and your lashes fluttered, suddenly overcome by shivers.

“I w-want you…”

He gasped against your throat, almost a whimper, those pleading eyes half-opening. Pulling out slightly and rubbing slow circles that made your hips flinch, his fingertips brushing against your slick clit, and those brown eyes darkened, tipping his head back to watch your face. His fingers on your waist tightening, holding you in place, shifting his fingertips, and you bit back a hiss, locking your knees, staring back into his starstruck eyes that showed you everything he was as he stroked your clit, igniting all your nerves and scorching your skin in passionate flames.

You saw what Jungkook was saying.

He wanted you so bad, not just a little, not just for a couple orgasms, not just for every night but also every day, even every afternoon and every twilight and every dead of night. Every kiss, every touch, every look into the eyes telling you this meant more to him than casual and for some reason it didn’t feel like a burden.

Casual sex could only stay casual if both people got the memo.

Suddenly, you realized neither you nor him were getting the damn memo.

You leaned forward and breathed in his exhale, squeezing his hips with your thighs, harder, yes, so good, fast and harsh and closer, closer, pulsing sensitivity escalating, your fingers tangled into his long black hair, entangled moans slipping out, fuck, yes, I’m close, Jungkook, fuck, and he was good but this was more than skill, more than half-lidded eyes and your hand falling, tracing his jaw, biting back your orgasm until…

Until.

“I could stare at you forever,” you breathed.

Closed your eyes and moaned into his mouth, the high crashing down, leaking all over his fingers and causing his touch to slip, dripping down, everywhere, all over the front of his pants and down your legs, and there was no time to care, dragging Jungkook into kiss after kiss, driven by snaking pleasure coursing through your veins. His wet fingers grasped your thigh, kneading the softness, his whines trapped by kisses, begging for your legs against his naked chest.

How could you refuse him?

You just couldn’t.

I’m so fucked.

Truly, madly, deeply fucked.

Past in trouble and actually in danger, danger, you’re seconds away from cumming, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth so he felt something else, anything, please, clutching fistfuls of his sheets and wondering why the fuck the condom wasn’t reducing any sensation because, holy fuck, his cock was trapped in a hot, slippery, tight sleeve that pulsed around his twitching, hard length every time he descended. He couldn’t think, could barely breathe, could do nothing but follow that carnal instinct to thrust over and over, deep as possible, the angle so good he closed his eyes so they didn’t roll back into his head even though he was hopelessly losing his mind at the sensations of her, so soft, so intense, so good his legs were shaking with tension, the rhythmic smacking obscenely loud, rattling bedframe echoing throughout his bedroom.

“H-Harder,” she gasped breathlessly.

Harder?!

Was she trying to kill him?

She lifted her hips and Jungkook knew he was fucked.

He threw all of his energy into his hips and sunk his teeth into his lower lip, his lip rings hitting his teeth. Metal hitting bone. Screaming in his head and tightening his vocal chords, thankful to see her eyes closing, her head tipping back, low satisfied moan of his name travelling to in his ears and then all that he was keeping together shattered and slammed into him, heat rushing and mind-numbing, euphoric high punching all the air out of his lungs, visceral tension snapping at his hips and now he was pumping the condom full, o-o-oh, fuuuuck, her walls shivering and amplifying the good feeling of sexual intoxication, his vision a blur, only now realizing all the sweat sliding down his back and forehead, his damp hair swinging down over his eyes, and maybe lasting a only a couple minutes but it was a damn good couple of minutes if Jungkook was allowed to say so himself.

He was panting, hardly able to catch his breath.

It wasn’t enough.

Fuck, he was so horny and he was barely recovering from his first orgasm. Didn’t know what came over him. A wave of insanity? Inconsolable craving? Willful sacrifice of his soul to the sex goddess in his bed right now? Dramatic, sure. Casual, no, pushing his palms against the bed, shuddering as he pulled out of that tight warmth, almost regretting it, but then he looked down. At the shiny slickness, his white cum swollen at the end of the condom. He gripped the opening and pulled down, peeling it off with a whine, and Jungkook was pretty sure he was overwhelmingly crazy or overwhelmingly horny or both, because why else would he scoot his knees up and start jacking his spent dick like a madman, whimpering at the sensitivity and the slippery friction and the scene before him – her legs lowering from his shoulders, those curious eyes glinting under him, her soft, bouncy breasts rising and falling rapidly in her heavy breathing, fuck, so sexy, so fucking sexy, faster, tighter, staring at those hard nipples he wanted in his mouth right now, so fucking bad.

He let his eyes flicker up.

Gasping, baring his depravity.

She smirked, her tongue tracing the edge of her upper lip.

“Cum on me, Jungkook.”

Words so simple that they could be said by anyone, but this was different, this was too much intensity, too much irresistible pleasure, too much too sure about this feeling, this moment, this connection, and then her fingertips slid up his hard, tense, trembling thigh, sinking her fingernails in and dragging down, those stings of pain sending him over the edge.

“A-Ah, fuck!”

His eyes rolled back and his hips pitched forward, flinching powerfully and shooting cum over her stomach, up her cleavage, sudden streak of white glistening against her skin, jolts of aching bliss penetrating his quivering muscles. Shared gasp, everything smelling like sex, his bedsheets, his clothes, his skin, mixing with her perfume. Sweet like candy and heavy like lust.

Jungkook wanted to douse himself in it.

Her cum and her perfume.

He pressed the dark, purple-red, swollen head of his twitching cock to her cum-covered stomach and moaned, dragging it across and slipping further and further into blinding oversensitivity, on the edge of too much but he liked it, fuck, he liked it more and more as he saw her sly smirk and foxy eyes sparkle, savoring his reactions. It made him want to give in to this side of him more.

Her hand lifted, fingers curling around his chin, stroking his lower lip with her thumb.

“You’re so sexy, Jungkook. I love the way you look at me.”

Something about the way she said it, making him feel that she really meant it.

No, know that she really meant what she said.

His heart fluttered. Took flight.

No.

Soared.

They really were such simple words, nothing complicated at all, and that was how Jungkook knew.

He was sure.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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norrizzandpia · 10 months

Note

hey 🧡 could you please do one with lando where you two just have that very special connection. you’re dating for years already and just became each others home / safe place and everyone around you can see? x

The words of this request are so cute like i love it

Also i ended up merging this with the ski trip 🤭 and a proposal bc what other way to best depict two people being incredibly in love than a proposal?? 😍 (i just want to marry Lando Norris)

Ski Trips and Smiles (LN4)

Summary: Lando and Y/n had been planning this ski trip with their friends for months, so she knows everything on the itinerary. Well, at least, she thinks she does.

Warnings: language, yn falling into snow, yn not being able to snowboard, max being a weepy baby

Note: the one time im in a marriage mood bc i watched the bachelorette

Lando’s hand shook slightly as it rested in his pocket, clutching the black suede box that he had quadruple-checked was with him before they left the house. He didn’t know what he was doing, crazed and manic in love with the woman beside him. She was asleep, head on his shoulder as the plane moved along, quiet and tranquil because of its privacy.

Max sat across from him, eyeing his best friend as droplets of sweat began to form at the top of his head.

“You okay?” He whispered, gaze shifting to the girl beside Lando, the girl who had been in their lives for six years.

Lando nodded, albeit hesitantly, “Yeah, fine.”

Max’s eyebrows furrowed together, “Really? Because the sweat stains on your shirt say otherwise. It’s like sixty degrees in here, mate.”

The Brit’s eyes shifted to catch his shirt, the material soaked through around his chest and armpits. His eyes widened, “Oh shit. Fuck. How do I fix this? She’ll know something’s up.”

Max shook his head with a teasing smile on his face, “Don’t say anything, but I figured this would happen. I packed some quadrant shirts from the new line in my backpack for you. I can get one right now if you want?”

Lando breathed a sigh of relief, “Max, holy shit, thank you. Thank you. But, no. I’ll wait a few hours. Until it gets closer to her waking up. I don’t want to sweat through the new ones too.”

Max hummed in agreement, letting silence take the moment once more.

However, the boy felt sympathy for Lando, the nervousness that was clearly wracking his body at the impending ask, so he tried to reassure him, “Lando, you have got to chill, mate. It’s going to be fine. She’s going to say yes.”

Lando’s frantic eyes bounced around, “But, what if she doesn’t? What if I’ve built this all up in my head and she actually doesn’t want to marry me. I’d rather be her boyfriend for the rest of my life than take a chance and ask her to be my wife and have her leave me.”

Max chuckled, “Sometimes, I wish you could see yourself in other people’s eyes. You’d take one look at yourself right now and immediately talk about how outrageous and ridiculous you sound. You two have been together for six years, Lando. Six years. Let that sink in. Six birthdays, six Christmases, a multitude of times she’s been there for you, 130 Grand Prix, an overwhelming amount of time spent building you back up after racing took you down. She’s been a constant. You know that, Lando. You’ve lived through it. This is just making all that permanent.”

Lando moved his head to stare at her sleeping face, her closed eyes and slowly rising chest making his heart fill with a specific kind of love he had only ever felt for her, and smiled softly, “Maybe you’re right.”

“Of course, I am.” Max gave, laughing airily.

Lando’s hand came to cradle her head, nudging it toward his mouth so he could plant his lips in her hair, whispering, “Maybe you’ll be right.”

—

Her laughing could be heard in the distance as Lando continued to ski toward her. Her head was face planted in the snow, hands messily placed beside her with her foot shoved in the snow, and, even with all the cold she was most likely feeling, the contagious sound filtered through the air and imprinted itself under Lando’s skin. Whether he got chills from the cool temperatures or the sound of her, he didn’t know. He would like to think it was her, though.

Lando rounded around her body, coming to a complete stop with snow spraying behind him as he fell to the ground.

“Y/n! Are you hurt?” His hands, covered in gloves, gently moved her body to sit up, a smile still gracing her face after the accident.

Her cheeks were flushed as she looked up at him with a mischievous grin and Lando was sure his heart stopped beating. Her beauty was a kind that was subtle, not truly reaching its full potential until she was laughing or smiling and only then blowing you away with such vigor, it took the air from your lungs. Sparkles in her eyes and soft features, Lando always felt a soft kind of feeling burst within him whenever she blessed him with her gaze. He remembered the first time he caught her sight. She had been a vision in a red dress at the gala his dad had forced him to go to. He remembered watching her as she floated across the floor, wondering how someone who looked his age could act with such elegance, and being completely enamored with the woman she already was at 18. He was obsessed, unwilling to look away, and when she looked back, he learned what it was like to be truly awestruck. Suddenly, she had grown shy under their staring and, when he approached her, the two of them had been a bundle of stuttering nerves. Lando later learned that the change in her demeanor was because of her already knowing his name at that point, already having a crush on him. He found it cute then and he still did now as she looked at him with the same light eyes she did that night. The same gaze she shot him every night, everyday, and every moment since they got together those six years before.

“No,” She shook her head at him, waving her hand in his face as she tried to get back on her feet. When she plopped back down, he laughed at her, apologizing quickly after when she looked at him like a lost puppy. He stood up before her, looming over her sprawled out body before bending his knees and reaching out for her arms. His strong, large hands clutched her biceps as he hoisted her off the ground, pulling her into him and successfully getting her to a stand.

Their skis clanged together at their feet, but the noise didn’t interrupt him from leaning down and pecking her cold lips. He smiled under her reciprocated kisses, blushing over her affection and providing some sense of warmth for their smashed-together faces. They stayed kissing each other sweetly off to the side of the run, wrapped in the other’s arms and completely removed from the world around them. That was typically how it was for them, alone in their own world and completely enthralled with the other.

Six years and that had never changed.

And Lando hoped that wouldn’t change for the rest of their lives.

“Oil! Stop fucking on the ski run!” Max screamed as he passed them, goggles on as he zoomed past. Lando moved his head to the side, giving his girlfriend a perfect view of his stellar jawline.

He yelled back, still tangled in her arms, “Shut up! Thank you!”

Y/n giggled at the two best friends, still surprised at some points by their antics.

He returned to her, head tilted down to lovingly gaze upon her, “How about we finish this run and then we can go back to the lodge? Maybe get a drink or two?”

His eyebrows wobbled, she knew what he meant, and she was quick to hit his chest, “Lando! We are with your friends. They are literally staying in the same room with us.”

He scoffed, “There’s a door! It’s like Max’s and I’s old apartment. We used to fuck in my room all the time.”

She rolled her eyes, “That was different.”

“Why?”

He hardened his gaze at her, challenging the argument she was clearly losing. He smiled triumphantly when she huffed his arms and wiggled out of his hold, “Fine! If you make it down to the end before me, we can go at it!”

His jaw fell open as she began to ski away, giggles ensuing and a sound that echoed in his ear even after she was out of hearing range. When he became unvexed by the sounds he adored to a concerning level, he pushed off and began racing down the hill.

When he passed her, he just smiled knowingly at her and thought of the things they would get up to that night.

—

The rooftop of the hotel was filled with bustling adults, glasses clanking together as people joined in boisterous conversation. Lando’s arm around her waist and his whispers in her ear, Y/n felt the love surrounding her that evening.

With their close friends sitting beside them at the dinner table and Lando’s hand on her thigh, she looked around to find everything she could ever possibly need for the rest of her life.

That must’ve translated in her eyes because Lando was leaning down to murmur, “You okay, love? You seem dazed.”

She smiled at him, his heart stopping unsurprisingly, and murmured back, “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just really happy to be here.”

He pulled back, a large grin on his face, before he began to stand up, “Let’s make you a bit happier then, yeah?”

She was confused by his words, but couldn’t question it as he began dinging his knife against his glass, quieting the conversations around the table and bringing his friends attention to him.

She stared up at him as he began speaking, “I just have a few things to say and then we can all go back to getting drunk.” He laughed, agreeing noises being thrown out by their friends, “First, I would just like to thank all of you for just setting your busy schedules aside to be here for a little commencement trip of the winter break. This season has been one of fun, especially with the fact that Y/n was able to make it to every race,” He looked down at her, grinning softly before he caught Max’s knowing eyes, “I cherish that, love. Anyways, so, thank you for that. The second thing is something I’ve been wanting to do for way too long, but never gained the courage. Oh, thank you to everyone for helping me plan what I’m about to do. I should probably say that before I actually do it.”

Y/n sat up in her chair, looking around to see everyone nodding at him as if they understood what he was saying. She looked to Pietra, the girl already looking at her and sent her a questioning face. Pietra just shook her head with a smile as she pulled out her phone and pointed it at the couple. Y/n’s head tilted, lost in confusion and not listening to what Lando was saying before he nudged her lovingly and forced her to look at him.

“Y/n, you’ll probably want to pay attention to this next part.” He chuckled, but she saw the way his forehead creased. He was nervous. She couldn’t understand why he was nervous.

He sat back down his chair beside her, turning his body so he could fully face her and grabbing her hands to hold in his. His piercing green eyes caught hers and didn’t let her go, “Y/n, we’ve been together for six years. Six years that you’ve helped me to find who I am as a person. Six years as you’ve made me realize the man I want to be, especially to you. Six years that you’ve spent putting up with me and all the stressful things I get us into. But, most importantly, six years you’ve spent loving me. When I first saw you at that gala, I was so incredibly struck by you. Not just by your appearance, you’re very beautiful, baby, don’t get me wrong, but there’s so much more to you that meets the eye and I knew that that night. I was struck by the way you held yourself, how strong you are and how kind you are to everyone around you. You’re consistently showing me the kind of human being I want to be and every day I try to live my life by making decisions you would. You’ve been a guidance for me and I can’t thank you enough for that, especially when I was struggling in my beginning years of F1. It’s not something I can say to you every day, but I hope you know how much you’ve improved my life since you’ve been in it. Ask anyone here, I’ve never laughed more, smiled more, or felt as happy as I do when I’m with you. You’ve brought such brightness into my life and I want you to know it’s because you are a light. To everyone here might I add. A light. That’s what pushed me to ask you out, to continue to fight for you, for us because the kind of joy you’ve given me just by being yourself has completely flipped my world upside down. That’s what pushes me to do what I’m about to do next.”

Y/n’s hands shook in his as she watched Lando move his chair and get down on one knee before her. By now, tears were streaming down her face at the realization of what was to come. By now, the entirety of the rooftop had turned to see the spectacle.

Lando Norris getting engaged.

He looked up at her, something he didn’t get to do often, and removed one of his hands to pull the box from his pocket. When he opened it, Y/n cried harder, taking his head in her hands and kissing him harshly.

He laughed at her, kissing her back before mumbling, “Baby, baby, let me get through it?”

She chuckled through the wetness coating her face and nodded, “Please,”

He moved the ring higher, presenting it to her as if it was the most important thing. She wondered when he would realize he was the most important thing.

“I don’t want to know anyone else. I don’t want to love anyone else. I don’t want to share my life with anyone else, but you, Y/n. I want it to be you. Only you. For the rest of my life. Forever and ever and ever, be my wife?” He said through a smile and choked voice, glistening appearing in his eyes as he stared up at his love.

She sobbed, screaming, “YES, LAN! YES! OH MY GOD, YES! YES!”

She lurched forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and nuzzling into the skin there. His hands gripped her body as they cried into each other, whispering soft words of adoration and love.

“I love you so much.” He said, squeezing her tightly as the restaurant erupted into applause and whoops of cheer.

“I love you too, Lan,” She said back, three words that would never have to go unsaid for the rest of their days.

When they pulled back and Lando slid the ring onto the designated finger, they turned to their table. What they found were weeping faces and large smiles as everyone clapped at the success of their plan.

Max blew his nose at the head of the table, Lando and Y/n laughing at him as Pietra rubbed his back.

“You okay down there?” Lando said with a smile as he watched his best friend.

Max stood from his chair and ran over to the newly engaged couple, shouting words of happiness, “I’m just so happy for you guys! Six years, I’ve been waiting for this! And Lando, you were so nervous and I’m just so happy it worked out. Congratulations! I didn’t expect to get this emotional. I’m just so happy that you’ve found someone to love you even with how horrifically annoying you are!” He rambled, hugging them tightly and continuing to blot at his face.

Lando pulled back, “‘Horrifically annoying’?”

Max nodded, “Yes, and look at her! She loves you for you! I’m so proud of you guys!” He wept again, not addressing the way Lando scrunched his nose up at the insult.

Max pulled them into a hug once more, stuffing his face between the two as Lando and Y/n were left to jokingly comfort him. From over his shoulder, Lando whispered to his fiancée, “Am I really horrifically annoying?”

She shook her head, “Horrifically? No. Annoying, though? Mmm, maybe.” She giggled and smiled at him.

That smile, stopping his heart, made her calling him annoying hurt less. That smile was his everything. That girl was his everything.

Oh, Lando was so gone for her and the ring on her finger just told him he could continue to get lost in her.

For the rest of their lives.

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yerimacoustic · 2 months

Text

𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙪𝙨 ♡ joshua x reader

↳ ❝ 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 ❞ 🧺🦢☁️

summary: your parents have been in a very public rivalry with joshua’s since before you were born, yet the two of you can’t seem to stay away from each other. secret relationship au, actor!josha and model!reader, joshua hong x afab reader. also featuring vernon and mingyu. 8.4k wc.

content warnings: fluff (joshua is literally just a sweetheart), a little bit of angst, overbearing/controlling parents, strong language, brief suggestive content (make out sesh in the coat closet), champagne drinking, it’s probably not very good since i’m just getting back into writing </3 18+ mdni!

soundtrack: secret love song by little mix, they don’t know about us by one direction, see you again by tyler the creator and kali uchis, telepatía by kali uchis, sober by childish gambino, slut! by taylor swift, and ofc darling by seventeen

for anyone else, going to a movie premiere in the spur of the moment wasn’t much of a risk at all. any of joshua’s other fans could watch his new movie in public without experiencing any scrutiny. with all of that being said, there was no reason you should have been waiting near the staff entrance with a baseball cap and sunglasses. and yet, you were peering around corners and checking your watch every two seconds.

he was only two minutes late. it’s no big deal. maybe he was just preparing one of his speeches or getting his makeup touched up.

or.. he could have finally chosen to listen to his parents and stop seeing you. he could have realized that your relationship put both of your careers and reputation in jeopardy. he could have been rehearsing his breakup speech with you.

before you could prepare yourself for a theoretical rebuttal, the door swung open. and you were graced with quite possibly the most beautiful sight to behold- joshua, himself. he wore a navy blue suit, suede. he had bleached his hair recently; it was still taking some getting used to, but it was a lovely color on him. it was snow white, minus a few streaks of yellow along the ends. all in all, he looked like an angel.

neither of you wasted a second, throwing your arms around each other as he pulled you in for a deep, slow kiss. your hands rested on your shoulders, leaving prints of your palms on the fuzzy, napped fabric. you smiled into the kiss, relieved that your doubts proved to be fruitless, and he quickly reciprocated.

“thanks for coming,” he whispered to you. “i know you’ve been really busy.”

you shrugged, “its nothing i’m not used to. besides.. i had to see you. it’s been too long.”

joshua pulled away just enough to look in your eyes, adoration filling his own. with a quiet chuckle, he slowly removed the sunglasses from your face and folded them over his dress shirt. just as you moved your hands up in protest, he grabbed them both and laced his fingers with yours. “you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. can we go somewhere tonight? anywhere.”

“I-” you stopped, drawing in a shaky breath. your breathing came to a complete stop, as if you were waiting for someone to burst through the door at any moment. “i don’t know. where would we go? i bet everyone in the city knows which hotel you’re staying at.”

he snickered, “good point. but they probably don’t know which one you’re staying at.”

you furrowed your eyebrows in mock offense, “and what exactly are you implying?”

“that your fans have a little more common sense and decency than mine,” joshua sighed, though there was no sign of self-pity in his voice. he moved a hand away from yours to brush through your hair, detangling a few tiny strands.

“if only that were the case,” you chuckled gloomily. “let’s go to the restaurant by my hotel. there’s a rooftop terrace, i could buy it out for the two of us.”

“someone likes their privacy,” joshua teased. “i’ll be there. gimme a few hours after the movie ends and i’ll run to you.”

“it’s a date.” you smiled giddily and cupped his chin with your thumb and index finger, pressing your lips against his once more. and once again, the two of you smiled once graced with the pressure of a light, chaste kiss. “now, i’ve gotta get going. i’ve got a movie to watch.”

joshua’s eyes went wide; when the two of you made arrangements to sneak around that day, he wasn’t expecting you to purchase a ticket to his premiere. he expected a quick little meeting, a few kisses, words of affirmation.. he knew that the two of you were already taking great risks as it was, he didn’t expect you to take another one. “well you’ll have to tell me all about it tonight.”

“looking forward to it.” you stole another kiss from him, trying not to ruin any of his makeup. there would be plenty of time for that later. you also lifted up your sunglasses from the collar of his shirt, sliding them back on with a mischievous smirk before waving goodbye and turning your back on him.

getting into the theater wasn’t much of a problem, oddly enough. it was somewhat alarming, the realization that no one recognized you as you wore one of the most basic disguises of all time. still, you opted to sit in the very back of the theater. not only were you afraid of potentially stealing the spotlight away from joshua , but the mere thought of your parents getting wind of this was terrifying.

both of your parents had had a very public rivalry since before either of you were born. your mothers were both models, and were best friends for a long time. that was.. until your mother stole one of the most important modeling gigs from joshua’s mother. and her manager. and her celebrity crush. they ended up breaking up before she met your dad but still!

then, your mother just had to marry a football player. and joshua’s mother was quick to retaliate, entering into a marriage of convenience with a player on a rival team. needless to say, you and joshua had been forbidden from even speaking to each other, let alone supporting each other’s work. let alone falling in love…

to be fair, neither of you ever saw it coming. until you met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, the two of you had some pretty horrible preconceived notions of each other that were proven false after a private rooftop conversation. after all, they’d been planted in both of your brains since the two of you were children.

it started out as privately messaging on instagram. then when the two of you started traveling more, you moved to whatsapp. then joshua plucked up the courage to ask you for your private number and then you started meeting each other in secret wherever you could. exclusive bars and restaurants, botanical gardens, private hotels and residences… not even your closest friends knew. and it would stay that way for a long, long time.

sometimes it hurt, yes. some days were easier than others.. but it hardly bothered you as you stared up at the silver screen. dark fantasy films were making a comeback, joshua being at the center of the industry’s revolution. you leaned back in your seat, smiling dumbly at the sight of your beloved in one of those fluffy pirate shirts, exploring an unknown, frightening realm while finding love along the way…

—------------------------------------

it was cold that night. wind brushed through your hair while you kept your arms folded across the balcony, nipping at your nose and fingertips. you could see your breath, small clouds forming with each steady breath you took. you looked back towards the door near the center of the rooftop for the twentieth time; he had not stood you up yet, but the fear was always there.

your lockscreen remained empty, the only notifications being messages from your manager, vernon. several reminders about your interviews and photoshoots tomorrow, his ever present dry tone practically audible as you read the notes to yourself. it seemed you couldn’t escape reality for a second, even if you tried.

the slanted rooftop door opened quietly, but it didn’t startle you. you paid the maître d’ not to let anyone except for him upstairs. joshua stood in the doorway for a moment, letting the music from inside the restaurant ring through the air before shutting the door and muffling the smooth jazz. he watched you stare out at the city in quiet contemplation, approaching you timidly.

“the city’s so beautiful this time of night,” you told him quietly without turning to face him. “i wish we could stay here. just a little bit longer.”

he let his hands rest on the railing, one of them brushing against your elbow at the movement. “you’re heading back tomorrow?”

you nodded, “two more interviews, one more photoshoot. then it’s back home for a few weeks.” you looked back towards him. “you too?”

he shook his head, “there’s another showing in paris this weekend. and then in milan, then L.A….”

you tried to hide your disappointment, standing up a little bit taller. “well..i’m free for the next few weeks, so we’ll just.. work something out.”

joshua smiled, a pang of pain nearly visible within the movement. the flash of emotion was gone as quickly as it had first appeared, his beautiful, familiar smile quick to replace the pitiful look in his eyes. “perfect” was all he could say in the moment. “well..let’s make the most of the time we have together, then.”

“i couldn’t agree more.” with a chuckle, you led him towards a table near the center of the rooftop. It was the only one covered in a tablecloth and lit candle, where a bottle of chilled champagne and glasses awaited the two of you. you were the one to take the initiative, pouring a respectable amount of the cristal champagne in both glasses. you looked up to him as you rose yours, and he was quick to mirror your actions. “i loved your movie, by the way.”

he snickered with a bashful nod of his head, “i thought you might. you always had a dark sense of humor.”

“and a love for fantasy and romance,” you countered, taking a meager sip from your glass. “it was nice to escape reality with you, joshua. even just for a little while.”

he smiled dumbly, as if the endless amounts of compliments from critics meant nothing to him compared to what you had to say about his work. “i’m glad my performance was convincing to you,” he mused, an awfully sappy look in his eyes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “but this-” he gestured to the empty space surrounding the two of you, “it’s really nice. thank you.”

you shook your head dismissively, “it was nothing.”

“no, i’m serious,” he told you, setting down his glass in favor of taking your free hand in his. “i haven’t had more than five minutes to myself in almost two months. i’m grateful that you would do something like this for me.”

once his warm hand was wrapped around yours, you felt prompted to look up in his eyes. his beautiful dark brown eyes.. “this wasn’t just for you, you know,” you teased him helplessly. “i’ve been needing some time to myself. you have no idea how insufferable vernon actually is.”

joshua laughed out loud, “i would have expected nothing less. someone has to keep you in line.” his hand briefly swatted at your elbow for effect.

“he’s not doing a very good job, is he?” this time, you were the one to gesture towards the space of the empty rooftop around you before facing him fully. comfortable silence passed between the two of you, warmth flooding your chest the second you got a better look at his eyes. then you whispered, “dance with me.”

joshua knew he would have been a fool to decline such a request. sorry, such a command. he was quick to set down his glass, which was half full by now. after settling on the best playlist of classy tunes he could find on spotify, he stepped towards you with a mischievous grin. once your arms were linked around his neck, his were curled around your waist in an effort to bring you closer to the warmth of his chest.

the two of you swayed in perfect time with the symphonies of strings that rang through the tiny speaker of his phone. your chin came to relax on his shoulder while his face was nestled comfortably into your hair. neither of you spoke for a moment, soaking in each other’s warmth. enjoying each other’s presence, uninterrupted, while you still could guarantee that no one unwanted would barge in on you. even your heartbeats were in perfect synch as you swayed in circles amongst the candlelight.

joshua’s touch was feather-light, but firm at the same time. there was confidence in the way he held onto your hips, fingers delicately tracing patterns in the fabric- but it wasn’t the boldest movement. he wasn’t making any efforts to insinuate that he wanted something else from you- no. it was more like he was trying to set your weary mind at ease. he knew that these less than ideal circumstances weighed on you, just like they weighed on him.

he’d washed the gel from earlier out of his hair, that much was clear once you ran your fingertips through the snow white strands. weaving the locks through your hands in gentle motions, you allowed yourself to take another step closer towards him. there was no room for either of you to even breathe without feeling the impact of the other’s chest rising and falling. you took a deep breath, getting a faint whiff of his cologne- a familiar scent of pine that you associated with him and him only.

neither of you said another word as you lifted your head up from his shoulder without breaking away from him. his lips were mere inches away from yours as the two of you stopped swaying just to get a better look at each other. the music swelled as the climax of the latest song rang through the air, painting a picture perfect moment for the two of you. you and joshua both studied each other, as if you were taking a mental note to memorize the godlike features in front of you.

After a moment, you couldn’t wait much longer. you pressed your lips against his, hoping to communicate more to him than words could in that moment. actions always spoke much louder, anyways. he seemed to agree; for her returned your kiss with fervor, cupping your cheek while his other hand kept his grip on your waist. your hands stayed in his hair even when you broke the kiss to press your forehead against his.

“let’s just stay up here for a little bit longer.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

your eyes were glued to the tiny screen in front of you once your makeup was finished. now that you had some time to yourself, you could fixate on the most recent message you had sent to joshua: ‘i’m leaving again on the fourteenth, ik that’s your first day back in town. come over to my place.’

‘my place.’ you two had never been brave enough to meet at each others’ private residences. you knew the risks that came with it; the fear that nosy reporters or stalkers could follow you home, that either one of your friends or family members could burst in through the door.. if only there was a channel of tunnels underground designed especially for you two.

anyways, you chose to forgo sounding like a broken record and voicing your familiar concerns towards him. the three bubbles appeared on screen, blinking in the rhythmic pattern. they stayed there for a moment; he was obviously thinking really hard about what to say next. your heart nearly stopped beating completely, your breath catching in your throat, and then..

“y/n,” a voice from behind you mused.

you hurriedly pushed the power button, letting the phone fall to your lap while looking over your shoulder. vernon stood with his hands in his pockets with a blank expression. somehow you were able to read your deadpan manager like a book by now; right now, he was unhappy with you. “oh good, you’re ready. what’s taking so long?”

you sighed, “sorry. there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“like what?” vernon took a seat next to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“i don’t know how many more times i can talk about who i’m wearing or who did my makeup or what i hope to see make a comeback this fashion season,” you answered truthfully. “i’m really tired.”

vernon tried to offer a reassuring smile, his best effort being a mere tug at the one corner of his lips. “this is your last day, then you get a few weeks off. you’ll have plenty of time to rest, clear your mind.”

your eyes briefly fixated on the ceiling as you tried to figure out what to say next. “i mean in general. don’t you think that i could be doing something a lot more..meaningful?”

“where is all of this coming from?” vernon was puzzled; you were never one to complain about your occupation. you knew that you were blessed, that there were a lot of perks that outweighed the cons most of the time..you’d known that for years now. why were you suddenly having second thoughts?

“i’m.. not sure.” for a brief moment, you contemplated telling vernon about your true feelings for joshua. but you quickly realized that there were two possible directions he could take with the new information: for one, he could tell your parents. he was loyal to them, not just to you. two, he could hear you out. as your manager, he had been there for you on a physical and emotional level.

but.. you weren’t sure if now was a good time to take that risk. you stood up, checking your empty lockscreen under the guise of checking the time. “let’s get this over with,” you told him.

vernon nodded sympathetically before following suit and opening the door for you. “the second they’re done asking questions, you’re on the first plane home. you have my word.

“and listen- we’ll talk more on the way home, okay?”

you flashed him a smile of gratitude before letting out a quiet sigh. to tell the truth, you were more focused on your intense heartbeat than anything else. what did joshua have to say that was so important it took him five whole minutes and counting to type it? however, it was nothing compared to the disappointment you felt after the interview when you came back to another empty notification center.

—----------------------------------

you didn’t stop checking your phone for new messages, even when you got home. every single time you were greeted by the two checkmarks, indicating that joshua had, in fact, read your message. what was taking him so long? had his phone been intercepted somehow? or had he finally realized…

you were ready to call it quits and fling your duffle bag onto the couch on the way to the kitchen, following through with your nightly routine. chamomile tea with a mint face mask, dimmed lighting and forest rain asmr playing on the television. however, your mother, who was sitting on said sofa with her back towards you, had other plans.

the sight of her didn’t scare you; you’d grown accustomed to her barging into your home and waiting for you to get back from work trips. sometimes you seriously wondered if she knew your schedule better than you did. maybe it was a good thing joshua was ghosting you.

“good to see you, mom,” you told her casually while making your way to the kitchen. not even her looming presence could stop you from brewing a much needed cup of tea.

she furrowed her eyebrows, taking offense at how casually you blew her off in favor of going to the stove. “that’s all?”

you flicked the stove on, waiting for the water to boil. with your back towards her you rolled your eyes, “what’s going on with you? how have you been?”

slapping her hands over her knees, she stood up from the couch abruptly. “i have excellent news, young lady. the kims are throwing a birthday party tonight for their oldest son, mingyu. and guess who has been personally invited?”

you pulled out your favorite mug, a light blue one with pale butterflies scattered across the cup. “i don’t know. vernon?”

your mother huffed, “you! mrs. kim told me that mingyu wants to meet you personally. your father and i will accompany you, of course, now let’s-”

“wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on-” you turned to face her, holding your hands up. “i literally just finished a month-long gig and went to five different countries. i don’t feel like going to a birthday party for someone i’ve never even met.”

“oh come on! just take a quick nap, and don’t drink any of this sleepytime tea.” she reached over to turn the stove off and move the kettle out of the way. “i’ll pick out your outfit while you get some rest. i want you looking your best tonight!”

before you could even think about protesting, she was gently pushing you into your bedroom. she made her own way to the closet after making sure you were seated on the edge of your bed, flicking the light on with a hum of satisfaction. she began muttering to herself while you tried to get comfortable among the blankets and pillows you’ve missed so dearly, “oh yes, you’ve got so many good options… oh this color would look marvelous on you… oh mingyu loves the color blue, you’ll-”

“MOM!” you shrieked, covering your ears with the nearest pillow.

—--------------------------

of course, it was no surprise to you that your mother had chosen one of the most uncomfortable dresses in your possession. it was dark blue, short and sequined, completely backless save a series of tiny laces clinging to your lower back. you’d worn several outfits just like it in photoshoots, but you’d never felt more exposed in your life. the cold air crashed upon your bare legs as you stood in the driveway, gazing up at the kims’ mansion in a pained stupor.

this wasn’t how your night was supposed to go.

your parents, with a hand resting on either of your shoulders, led you into their close friends’ house. it was just like any other party they had dragged you along to, several esteemed guests mingling politely with champagne in hand. waiters in white tuxedos carried glasses around, wearing blank expressions that would put robots to shame. a classical string quartet played over the speakers, once that provoked you to reminisce about the special moment you and your beloved shared just a few nights prior…

your mother was quick to pull your tiny coat off of your shoulders, handing it to the nearest waiter to dispose of it properly. the air was much warmer, that much you were grateful for. “let’s go find her,” she spoke of her close friend, your gracious host. “she shouldn’t be too far behind.”

you deadpanned as she kept a firm grip onto your hand, pulling you through the crowd. you spotted a few familiar faces, friends of friends. but no one that you particularly wanted to see. although the music was classical, soothing, you could’ve sworn it was getting louder and louder by the second. you stopped in your tracks to grab a glass of champagne, knowing that it would do little to calm your nerves. but you took a quick sip anyways.

of course, your mother snatched the glass from your hands once the two of you came face to face with a woman dressed to the nines. she wore an elegant dress and pearls, making you second guess your choice of apparel (not for the first time that night), her dark hair in a slick bun. she turned to her friend(?), your mother, giving her a warm smile, “i’m so glad you could make it!”

“thank you for inviting us!” your mother chirped, tugging you closer to her by gripping onto your furthest hip. “this is my lovely daughter, y/n. she just got home, she’s been working nonstop for the past month.”

“hi,” you chimed in awkwardly, grinning.

mrs. kim looked to you, her smiled laced with pride, “i think i recognize you. mingyu and i noticed you in several television ads in one sitting! it’s great to finally meet you in person.” before you could thank her, she turned her back on the two of you in favor of grabbing a young man’s hand and prompt him to join your small circle. “ladies, this is my son, mingyu.”

you could admit that kim mingyu was objectively very attractive. he was tall, with wavy dark hair and a cut jawline of steel. you expected someone with his status (and honestly, his looks) to take one look at you and walk in the other direction with his nose up in the air. but he didn’t. he extended a hand towards you, beaming. “hi.”

“hi, happy birthday,” you whispered, bashfully taking his hand. “i’m-”

“i already know who you are,” he cut you off, not that you were going to complain about it. however, once he realized that he interrupted your train of thought, he smiled bashfully, “sorry. we’ve just.. seen you on the tv for a while now. it’s lovely to meet you.”

“we’ll leave the two of you alone,” your mother giggled, joining hands with mrs. kim and booking it out of the kitchen. much to your utter horror. you didn’t know why you were so surprised; your mother’s penchant for evil was growing stronger and stronger everyday, it seemed.

the two of you stood awkwardly for a moment, mirroring awkward smiles and nervous laughs. luckily, mingyu broke the silence before you could, “do you wanna get out of here?”

you furrowed your eyebrows, momentarily confused. “..huh?”

“i mean- there’s a balcony just outside. i need some fresh air, it’s awfully stuffy in here.” the tall man chuckled, briefly grabbing at the collar of his dress shirt for effect. he had a very nice smile, one that seemed to be especially suited for film and television. there was a kindness in his eyes; he only wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

“oh- oh! yeah, that sounds really nice, actually.” you chuckled. only when you were greeted by the familiar cold air did you remember that you were not well dressed for this particular weather. once mingyu shut the door behind you, your arms were promptly folded over your chest, your palms moving up and down to provide the skin of your upper arms any sense of warmth. needless to say, it was not very effective.

“shit-” mingyu caught on quickly, throwing his blazer off his shoulders and draping it along your much smaller frame. you were soon drowned in the fabric, chuckling at how it could wrap around your entire body and then some. “sorry. i didn’t-”

“no, no it’s okay!” you laughed. “i- forgot what i was wearing for a second. my mom picked this dress out for me. she doesn’t usually do that, i swear.” inwardly, you were kicking yourself for your word choice- why did you feel the need to tell him that?

mingyu snickered, “don’t worry, i know all about that. my mom had this tailored specifically for tonight. we take birthdays pretty seriously around here.”

you nodded, unsure of what else to say in the moment. the two of you stared down the balcony in somewhat uncomfortable silence. there were already a handful of guests leaving, which undoubtedly would soon be replaced by more friends and family members. you envied those who climbed into the getaway cars, laughing and recalling the events of that night. still, you knew you had to be polite.

“so-” you both said at the same time before promptly bursting into a fit of chuckles.

“you first, birthday boy,” you chuckled.

you could have sworn mingyu tilted his head to hide a growing beam upon hearing the affectionate nickname you’d bestowed upon him. “well.. tell me more about yourself. do you have any hobbies?”

you lifted your chin up, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation as if you’d forgotten every little detail about yourself in a moment’s notice. “well…not really. don’t have a lot of time to myself. sometimes i read.”

“what kind of books?”

“you know.. the usual. nonfiction, i like a lot of history books. also.. i read some romance novels every now and again.”

mingyu chuckled in amusement, “ohhh so you’re one of those readers.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, mocking offense. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“nothing!” mingyu was quick to throw his hands up in mock defense, snickering. you could tell the expression of guilt on his face was genuine, a sympathetic yet sheepish grin on his lips. “nothing. you just don’t look like the type to read smut in your free time.”

“well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you teased, smirking broader by the second. you’d even forgotten all about the freezing winds practically biting at your skin, thanks to him. he was easy to banter with, you could give him that much.

mingyu didn’t say anything at first, smiling bashfully towards you as if the last statement was.. promising to him. a moment of silence passed between you, your eyes instinctively falling over the balcony as a hum escaped your lips. even in your brief peace of mind, nothing could have prepared you for what he asked you next.

“are you seeing anyone right now?”

you chuckled bashfully, wondering how he jumped so quickly from such an icebreaker to a deeply personal question. “um..no. are you?”

mingyu shook his head, grinning dumbly. “my mom tries setting me up with girls all the time. that’s mostly what this birthday party is: an excuse for her to parade me in front of eligible bachelorettes.”

“i’m sorry to hear that,” you told him with sincerity, bringing his jacket a bit closer to your chest. “i get it, though. both of my parents have been pressuring me to start dating more seriously too.”

“and i imagine it's a bit harder for you too,” mingyu replied sympathetically. he had a point; there were a lot more double standards for women in the industry involving dating, hell, even just existing. you were either seen as a prude for staying single or a gold digger if you chose to date someone just as wealthy, if not more wealthy than you. there never seemed to be a happy medium, but you’d made peace with that long ago.

you shrugged. “it is what it is. frankly, i’m more concerned about keeping food on the table than seeing what the gossip magazines have to say about me.”

mingyu chuckled, albeit sadly. “well said.”

neither of you seemed to be quite sure where the conversation would go from there. there seemed to be little to no interest in elaborating on the particularly forward question he’d asked you. keeping that sentiment in mind you turned towards him, offering a small smile towards the much taller man. “should we head inside? i don’t want your mother to get the wrong idea.”

he snickered, “i could use a drink, anyways.”

he was gracious enough to let you wear his jacket just until he opened the door for you. you let out a faint sigh of relief once the familiar warmth flooded against your skin, reaching your hands up to slip the large pool of fabric off your shoulders.

but the moment you took your eyes off mingyu, your heart nearly lept out of your chest at the sight of joshua not five feet in front of you, reaching for another glass of champagne. your eyes locked, his own going wide with the realization you had caught him in a lie for the first time. he was able to keep his cool, act like your presence didn’t affect him in the slightest.. unfortunately, you weren’t so gifted in that area.

you turned to mingyu with a sympathetic yet slightly rushed grin, “it was- really nice talking to you. i hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“thanks. it was nice talki-”

before you could let him finish his thought, you rushed towards the man with fluffy bleached hair. discretion was the least of your concerns. you weren’t sure if you should be relieved that you were finally seeing him again, angry with him for ignoring you, or heartbroken that you had to meet again under such circumstances. “i thought you were going to paris,” you told him.

he looked over his shoulder, drawing in a deep breath. he knew the odds were stacked against the two of you now more than ever; you’d never found yourselves in the same public setting as both of your parents. you didn’t even have to ask him if his were close by; you knew they had a tendency to hover over him like a pair of vultures. “long story,” he whispered once he finally met your eyes. brief and distant was the contact.

you grabbed onto his arm, looking over your shoulder in the same manner as he’d done just moments before. and before you could listen to his protests, you walked him down the hall and to the nearest coat closet. no one else was around the hallways; the guests mostly found themselves in the music or drawing rooms where entertainment was provided.

you slammed the door shut, leaning back against it with your arms folded. joshua frowned once he saw the expression of hurt etched along your features, the way your eyebrows knitted together.. “you lied to me.”

“i know.”

“why?”

joshua looked away, fingers brushing along the sleeve of a random guest’s coat. it was large, dark brown.. mink, no doubt. “i.. i guess it would have been easier going back home knowing.. knowing that you thought i was still out of the country.”

you felt a strange, tightening sensation in your chest. one that was painfully unfamiliar, especially since joshua was involved. “where is all of this coming from?” you asked him quietly, keeping your position against the small door. it served two purposes: keeping him in and anyone else out. “i thought..”

“i know,” he interrupted, taking a step closer to you and letting go of the soft, plush fabric in favor of holding onto one of your hands. “i know. and i’m really sorry. i just.. i hate this.”

your eyes widened, the tightening feeling in your chest growing more intense by the second, “w-what..”

“no- no, not this,” he stepped closer, his grip on your hand tightening as he brought it up to his chest. his thumb skimmed over your knuckles, over your chilled rings. his free hand flew towards your cheek, cupping your jawline with a gentle, featherlike touch. “i mean.. sneaking around. lying. i hate living like this. i hate pretending i don’t know you exist. i want you to be able to come to my premieres as my date. i want to be able to go to your runways with you. i’m tired of this, y/n.”

you held eye contact with him, as uncomfortable as it was. his words were like daggers, the look in his beautiful, doe-like eyes serving as salt to the wounds. “trust me.. i want all of those things too. more than anything.” you paused, looking down at your joined hands. “but you know it’s a bad idea. if we tell them, there’s no way they’ll react well.”

“y/n-”

“they’ll disown us. cut us off. plus, if your parents are anything like mine, they’ll be very public with all of it.” it broke your heart to shut down such a beautiful and heartfelt declaration on his part, especially since everything inside you was telling you to abandon everything and run away with him. you couldn’t bring yourself to face him as your eyes flooded with tears; you knew the look of heartbreak on his face would prompt you to break out into heavy sobs.

“so.. what are you saying?” he asked you timidly. he was never one to raise his voice or get angry with you- honestly you weren’t sure if you would ever find anyone else quite like that in your life.

“i- i don’t know,” you answered truthfully. you couldn’t even dream of breaking things off with him. call it what you want, selfishness, fear.. but you didn’t want to lose him. that’s why you felt the need to reassure him through your heavy tears and your warbled voice, “i could never dream of being with anyone else. but i also know.. i have nothing without my parents.”

it embarrassed you to admit out loud that you were much too dependent on your parents. they dictated everything for you, they provided you with so much.. they had ties in the industry. without their help, you would undoubtedly be jobless.

“that’s not true,” he whispered with furrowed eyebrows. “you’re smart. and strong. i know you’d be more than capable.”

“shua-“

“i have enough money to support the both of us for the rest of our lives,” he told you, cupping both of your cheeks then. his touch was firm, yet gentle. “and once this movie takes off..” his voice trailed off. “let’s not make any rash decisions tonight, okay?”

just then, his fingers moved under your jawline, propping your chin up and prompting you to look up at him. “okay?” he repeated with that same beautiful gentleness, his voice hushed.

it took you a moment, but you nodded. with the realization that while you didn’t have everything figured out right that second, the least you could do was slow down and enjoy what was right in front of you. or more accurately, who was right in front of you. “yeah. okay.” you linked your arms around his neck, your chin falling to rest on his shoulder.

you pulled away just enough to look in his eyes. he’d blinked away any semblance of tears before you could see them fall down his cheeks- yet they still had such a glow of kindness and warmth in them. at times, it felt like they spoke directly to you, conveying every beautiful sentiment the two of you shared between each other. love, adoration, trust.. then they were fluttering shut once you leaned in to press your lips against his.

you both sighed in unison, as if it had been years since you held each other, kissed each other. with that being said, the kiss grew more and more desperate by the second. you’d even pulled yourself away from the closet door you had previously been leaning against, opting to press your chest against his instead. distance truly made the heart fonder, you were coming to find.

your knees felt weak once his hands slid down your figure to rest over your hips for a moment, his fingers snaking towards the small of your bare back. you could have sworn you were seeing stars by the time his fingertips folded over the tiny laces and skimmed over the skin in silky motions. his touch was so familiar to you, yet it never failed to bring butterflies to your stomach and a heated tint to your cheeks.

“i like this dress,” he whispered to you between heated kisses. you could only hum in response, hands weaving through his fluffy, ungelled hair. he smirked, feeling nothing short of pride that he left you feeling speechless. “what? you don’t like it?”

“i’d rather be wearing it just for you,” you admitted while linking an arm around his waist. under his suede jacket, of course. you clung to him, craving, needing his warmth..

“i love the sound of that.” before he could take any riskier steps, he pulled his hands away from the small of your back, his palms gliding upwards to hold onto your clothed upper waist, instead. as tempted as he was, he was not about to have sex with you in the closet; he thought it felt incredibly disrespectful, especially considering the heart-to-heart you had moments before. always the gentleman.

once his lips met your neck, you tilted your head while your hands relaxed on his waist. you felt like time had stopped from the moment you stepped foot in the closet with joshua, like nothing else mattered except the two of you. along with that beautiful, wonderful feeling came the harsh reality that your parents were most likely searching the entire mansion for you. so, you promised yourself you’d give him just a few more minutes before you’d be the one to break the embrace.

he was timid with his kisses, careful not to get too carried away and leave any marks. even so, his lips left you tilting your head back against the nearest wall in bliss. “come over tonight, please. i can’t-”

joshua lifted his head up, his eyes locking with yours. he was clearly surprised to see that your offer from earlier that day still stood, oddly enough. before he could agree, his lips parting, the door swung open next to you. you felt the impact as it hit joshua, causing him to shudder- but the culprit was quick to apologize:

“sorry, man, didn’t see you there-” vernon muttered, stepping forward to gently push past joshua, most likely with the intention to grab his own coat. of course, until he saw you pressed up against the nearest wall with your arms wrapped tightly around joshua’s waist, the man you were supposed to be in a feud with. his eyes went wide, his jaw agape as he stood in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. “....y/n??”

—-------------------------------

needless to say, joshua didn’t come over to your place that night. you were both able to smooth things over with vernon before the party was over and luckily he agreed not to tell your parents, at least for the time being. joshua was the first to leave the closet, albeit reluctantly, leaving you to face your manager with a sheepish expression. he was disappointed in you, to say the least, offended, both on a professional and personal level.. but the important thing was that he swore he would be discreet.

you both agreed to meet for lunch the next day to discuss the important matter at hand, as well as your upcoming schedule. the pesto chicken sandwich placed in front of you hardly looked appetizing, given the severity of the situation. once your manager had found the table you reserved for the two of them, he sat down in front of you with his shoulders slumped. clearly he was just about as excited for this meeting as you were.

you were the first one to speak, flashing him that same awkward smile from the night before, “hey..”

“joshua? joshua hong?” you had to hand it to vernon: he went straight to the point more often than not.

you nodded your head, which felt heavier by the second. the weight and the severity of the situation caused an aching in your temples, one that you would have wished away hours ago if it were possible. “yeah..”

although he wouldn’t admit it out loud, vernon was grateful you took the liberty of ordering his sandwich for him. ham and swiss on rye.. you’d had his order memorized for years now. he took a bite of it, as if to drown his sorrows in the small sandwich. “i just- have so many questions. how did you guys even meet? aren’t you supposed to hate each other?”

“jihyo’s birthday party a few years back..” now that you admitted it out loud, you were in disbelief that the two of you were able to keep your relationship a secret for so long. only for all of the best efforts, the sneaking around, and the little white lies to be thrown down the drain at a stranger’s birthday party. “we got to talking and realized.. neither of the lies our parents told us about each other were true. that night he messaged me on instagram and.. one thing led to another.”

from the looks of it, vernon, himself, was starting to get a headache as you retold the events of your relationship to him. his palm went to his forehead, rubbing the skin with a heavy sigh of dread. “and.. just how have you managed to keep this a secret for so long? without my help?”

you shrugged your shoulders just as a pit began to form in your stomach. “luck, i guess?”

“let’s hope whoever blessed you with good luck is still feeling generous when your parents find out,” he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “and they will find out, y/n. it may have been me who found you guys in the closet last night, but the two of you can only keep up appearances for so long.

“imagine if it was mingyu who found you. or one of his parents. hell, one of your parents.”

you shuddered at the thought of your parents walking in on you making out with anyone in that closet, let alone the child of their sworn enemies. “you’re right. it was.. super irresponsible of us.” you paused. “are you saying.. we should just tell them?”

vernon swallowed the last bite of his sandwich, nodding his head in the process, “better than finding out through the media, don’t you think?”

“i guess.” you leaned back in your seat with a sigh. not for the first time, you envied the couple sitting a few tables across from you. they were strangers to you, but they seemed so.. happy. they didn’t have to worry about being seen together, make sure no one was looking before holding hands, secret “i love yous..” none of it. it didn’t seem fair to you.

as vernon noticed you sitting in quiet contemplation, he folded his arms across the table. “what are you thinking about?”

“vernon.. you’re fired.”

you could have sworn vernon’s eyes grew nearly twice their size. “wait a minute, wait a minute- what??!”

“listen! you’ve given me a lot to think about and.. you’re right. i have to tell them.” you cleared your throat. “we both know it’s not going to end well, so i’m saving you the public embarrassment in advance. and i’m quitting my job. as soon as possible.”

vernon’s features softened, his relief evident. you knew that your long term manager would be well off; he had several other clients in the business besides you. still, he seemed puzzled. “are you- are you sure? you’re giving up a lot, y/n. are you sure it’s worth it?”

as you reflected on your time as a model, the benefits and perks that you were lucky enough to receive, along with the cons on the other side of it- you realized you’d never been more confident in your decision before. you were young, there was plenty of time for you to choose a more meaningful path. you nodded, leaving enough cash on the table to pay for the two sandwiches before standing up.

“it’s definitely worth it,” you beamed. “i’ve gotta go make a phone call.”

———————————————

“it’s.. definitely risky.” joshua had his reservations about your proposal. he knew what your mother was like thanks to the stories you’d told him personally, which was why he found it all so.. commendable.

“what part of our relationship hasn’t been risky?” you countered while leaning into his chest. he’d finally taken you up on your invitation. the two of you were relaxing on your balcony, cuddling on the swing while soaking up the vanishing sunlight. you hadn’t let him leave your sight since the minute he walked through your front door; you wanted to take full advantage of his time there.

“true,” joshua let out an infectious laugh and the skin near his eyes crinkled, just like it did every time he smiled. truthfully, it was a trait of his that you’d found endearing since the moment you met him. his voice was hushed as his gaze shifted from the sunset ahead to you and he lifted a hand to cup your cheek. “is this really what you want?”

“more than anything.” you immediately reached for his free hand, both of yours holding it close to your heart. there was nothing but certainty in your tone as you spoke, the look of determination in your eyes only solidifying it. “maybe i can go back to school or something. my schedule’s clearing up pretty soon.”

you felt the gentle rumble in his chest as he chuckled, “you know i’ll take care of us. i wasn’t just saying that.”

“i know. but- i really need to do this. i feel like i’ve been missing out on so much.” you played with the rings adorning his fingers rather than meeting his eyes. your confession left you feeling bashful, even if you weren’t quite sure why. “but not anymore. i love you joshua, and i don’t want to have to live in fear anymore. i just want..you.”

those three beautiful words stood out to joshua and caused him to grin like a fool. all this time, it was as if the two of you knew fully well that you were in love and therefore, never felt the need to state it directly. your affection towards each other was unspoken at times, voicing itself in many more ways than one; stolen kisses behind curtains, brushing hands together in intimate discretion, risking discovery by supporting each other at premieres or press conferences.

but now.. those three words were out in the air, never to be taken back. not that either of you would dare to if you were given the opportunity, of course. personally, joshua felt as if he could shout it from the rooftops without a care in the world. “say that again,” he whispered to you.

you were quick to reply, your voice hushed to match his tone, “i love you.”

“i love you too.” as if to reiterate his words, he pressed his lips against yours just as the sun began to take refuge behind the large palm trees. it felt beautiful, picturesque, like a scene from one of his movies.

the rest of the night, you two never left each other’s embrace for more than a single minute, knowing that even if your parents lashed out at both of you, even if you were sure to face public scrutiny and humiliation, even if you were at risk for losing everything you’d worked so hard to build, you had each other. you would never part ways with each other again, and that was truly all that mattered.

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #joshua hong #joshua hong x reader #joshua hong x you #joshua hong fluff #i’m sorry if it’s bad #i’ve been working on this for way too long #it might seem a bit rushed lol #kim mingyu #hong jisoo #svt x reader #svt x you #joshua hong fanfic #seventeen au

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georgiapeach30513 · 2 months

Text

Two Good Reasons, Part 3

Summary: Andy wants to know your truth

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: mature

Warnings: mild language, insecurities concerning reproduction, mentions of spousal neglect, mentions of cheating, touching in public, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 6.3K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“Grab your things,” Andy says before he’s even fully exited Ransom’s office. Your boss’ face goes slack, and he looks at Andy with disdain. “This isn’t a request. We’re going for coffee.”

Your eyes ping pong from Ransom to Andy, and you politely shake your head no. You need the job, and it didn’t look professional if Andy demands you to leave. Ransom is the boss, “I have to work. This is business hours. And when I’m done I need to go pick up,” you gulp. Your eyes fall on Andy, and you shamefully shake your head.

“I know. I’ll make sure you make it to pick them up on time,” you look towards Ransom again, unsure of why you want to deny an actual conversation with Andy. Shame didn’t feel like the right word. You did nothing wrong. And yet there’s this gut wrenching guilt you feel, and you’re not sure why, “Ransom, she’s taking the rest of the day off.”

“I-I-I ugh,” groaning at the reality you’re in. You were not supposed to be worrying about things like this, “I can’t afford to.”

“He’s giving you paid leave,” Ransom groans behind you, but Andy grabs your coat anyways. “Doe,” there’s something in the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes, and the way his hand slightly flinches towards you. He isn’t angry. He seems caring.

You stand up, leaving Ransom’s mouth slightly gaping at you, but you nod your farewell. It sounds like whatever this coffee conversation is, will take the rest of the day. “Sloane, can you tell Willow to cancel my day,” Sloane answers quickly, looking to you a bit confused, and you walk side by side with Andy Barber. Something you haven’t done in awhile.

“You drink your coffee the same?” You stutter a moment, “Doe, iced shaken latte?”

“Yeah,” how is he remembering this? And why? The answer that you refuse to let pass through your brain. You can’t go there right now. “But with oat milk now,” he gives you a sincere smile, motioning his head in a corner.

“That’s my table. Lots of privacy. I’ll be over there once I have the coffees,” your mind is reeling. Whatever happened in Ransom’s office, Andy’s coldness is now morphed into how he was. Especially that night. The way his hands brushed over every inch of your skin, and made you feel alive for the first time in years.

The ride here was brief, but so quiet. Andy’s fingers drummed on his knee, keeping rhythm to the music, and you hated yourself a bit for being the obedient quiet woman. You want to pick his brain, and ask what changed. He knew about the kids. You’re assuming he knows about Scott. They might not be in the same office, but they could have seen each other around. Been in the courtroom together. Anything.

Andy gives you a warm smile as he hands the cup to you. You take a slow drink, and smile up at him, “You remembered the vanilla bean powder.”

“It’s part of your order. Why the switch to oat milk?”

You take a sip, refusing to meet his eyes. You’re not ashamed you have children, you’re ashamed this is how the conversation is had. He knows, and not from you. “My youngest, Suede, has a lot of allergies and intolerances, and one is lactose. So it was easier for us all to make the switch. Audrey liked the taste of oat milk best. Suede doesn’t care as long as I make him chocolate sauce.”

His eyes light up as he takes a drink from his cup. You wonder if he still drinks his coffee with light cream. Or even if he would use plant based milk. “You make chocolate sauce?”

“When I make it, I don’t have to worry about whether Suede can have it,” so much of the eating habits changed when you learned that he had allergies. It wasn’t a hesitation for you. It wasn’t at first with Scott, until it became an inconvenience.

“How many children do you have?”

“Just the two,” you sigh, looking at his thick fingers. Andy was never shy about wanting a family, and you fear that now that you can’t give him that, things have been ruined before they can begin again. You can sense the question lingering on his tongue, and yet, he’s too nice to say anything. “You can ask.”

“I’d rather you just tell me, this is us as friends catching up,” of course he’d be the gentleman. He’d say the right things. Do the right things. But you aren’t putting yourself into this line of questioning if that isn’t what he wants to know. “It’ll sound insensitive.”

“I just want to make sure we’re going the way I think it is. It doesn’t hurt like it used to,” you had healthy and happy children. What more could a mother ask for? Of course you wanted more, but it wasn’t in the cards, and it just seems so arrogant to think you deserve more when you have two.

“So it wasn’t your decision to not have any more children?” So formal. And yet, it doesn’t sting. No one has ever talked to you about this. It was always about how Scott felt. And you’re the one that did all the work. The one that feels inadequate for not giving your husband what he claimed to desire. You just shake your head no. Only just noticing Andy’s left fingers have been grazing over your knee. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Does any woman want to talk about how she’s not able to have children and it’s taken away from her involuntarily? Too often our bodies and uteruses are discussed with very little regard for us as a human. Our bodies are meant to be incubators for men that want to reproduce. But no one wants to talk about our mental status if that’s striped away from us, do they?”

“While there are people, especially men, who think that way, you know I don’t, Doe. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was you,” instead of the tips of his fingers, his hand flattens, touching you more. He watches your face to see if you protest, but you don’t. Instead you wish he would hold you like he did when you were teenagers. His arms always were the best comfort. “Honey, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“I want to. I never have been able to, passed the too clinical doctors. Even — even Scott,” you should have known the writing was on the wall for your marriage, but at that time you would have done anything to save it. Andy’s posture goes rigid, and his jaw clenches. His anger. Even now, Andy has this innate need to protect you. Still.

“Andy,” his eyes close so slowly. Like he’s trying to absorb your calmness. You’ve had some time to process your marriage, but Andy is just learning about this. You wait until his body relaxes, and proceed, “It’s not impossible. It’s just such a rare chance. We even did a year of IVF. It was miserable and never took. Our next step was surrogacy. Except I guess he was going the old fashioned route.”

You look to the left, trying to hold in your angry tears. Not because you’re sad that your sham of a marriage ended, but because of the lengths you went to preserve it. The constant mental turmoil, but when you caught him with Taylor, it wasn’t blind rage. It was anger for you. For the disrespect to your home and your kids being there. The door was unlocked, and had Audrey walked in — you can’t even think about it.

So many times in the past few months you try and think if there was a time you were truly happy with Scott. Or had you found the replacement to the man in front of you, and you just went through the motions. You look at your two children and how you have this unwavering love you have for them. They were your reasons. Being a mother has been the highlight of your life. You just wish they had a father like Andy to share it with.

“He cheated?” you can’t answer, so you nod. Andy sighs, he is well aware of your no cheating policy. “How did you find out?”

“It’s easy to find out when you find the babysitter bouncing on his cock, while our children were taking their nap,” his Adam’s apple bobs. His body tense and agitated. “I suppose she did me a favor if it wasn’t for her continuing to be in our life because Scott never knows how to be alone. Or for someone to ruin his perfect picture of his life. Of course, he’ll twist it and turn it into being my fault, and that Taylor is his true love. Anything to make the affair not be his fault.”

You see him take a tentative lean forward, but you lean back in your chair, “Andy, don’t get involved. You can’t save me from everything. This is my mess that I chose willingly to get into.”

“He’s trying to take your kids from you, and he can’t even make simple adjustments in his diet to make sure your son is safe?” A tearful laugh pushes past your lips. “This isn’t funny.”

“I don’t think it’s funny. I’m just laughing because you haven’t changed. Why do you always need to protect me?”

“Because you never want to protect yourself,” the two of you stare for too long at each other. The most comfortable silence between you, and you don’t want to break the spell. The one thing you’ve always wanted is right in front of you. He’s close enough to touch, and grab him.

“How come you never got married?”

“Well, I never fell in love again. I tried. A few times, and then I just — you don’t want to hear about that,” you giggle, using your foot to playfully kick at his, and his fingers gently start rubbing on your knee again. “Did you love Scott?”

“Are you asking me a simple question, or is this you asking me if I loved him like I loved you?”

“Touché,” he raises his cup, already knowing your response before you even say it. His mouth turned into a cocky smirk.

“I was married to a lawyer, but was still in love with you, Andy. Maybe I did love him in ways. But maybe it was because he was close to being you. I know how sometimes a simple question can be quite complex,” his hand drifts a bit further up your leg. Still an appropriate amount, but there’s a neediness in it. A want to have things go back to normal. “No. I don’t think I was ever in love with him,” that hand travels up even further, and he smiles when your legs spread just an inch wider.

“What are we doing here, Doe?”

“We’re having coffee because you demanded that I leave my job for the rest of the day. We have less than an hour before I need to pick up two children from the daycare center.”

“I saw Audrey,” he smiles, his hand flattens on your thigh. “She looks beautiful just like her mom. Has your eyes. You wanna talk about them?”

“What’s there to talk about? I’m a mom, a damn good mom if I say so myself. They’re my life. The only reason I hang on to hope with this divorce. The idea of Scott getting full custody is something I can’t even comprehend. He isn’t even potty training Suede. And he’s not even patient with him as he tries to talk. Audrey is my talker. She’s so smart for how little she is. So protective of her brother, and intuitive with him. She even wakes me up and says she’s had a nightmare so I sleep in her bed with her. I think it’s because she doesn’t want me on the couch. But I can’t let my girl be scared. They’re amazing. And I seriously question how I deserved them, but I won’t live without them either. They’re mine.”

it’s a sentiment you know in the depths of your soul. Those babies are yours. You carried them, you birthed them, fed them, changed their diapers, became their everything. Scott might have provided the funds, but he was just that. The money. There were moments, and glimpses of him being a good dad, and enjoying at least Audrey. You wonder if Suede’s allergies, and being a more difficult baby overall, is when he started to check out.

Audrey is the perfect child that was easy to get on a schedule. The pregnancy was easy. She is a fast learner. But Suede, your sweet baby, had so many difficulties since he was conceived. You sometimes wonder if Scott blames the difficult pregnancy and labor on your son, and even your problems with conceiving on Suede. His need to want another child so quickly was possibly a do over. For — the mistake. He called Suede that one time. And you’ll never forgive him.

Your mind easily spirals when it comes to Suede and Scott’s relationship. And you didn't care anymore. You didn’t have to beg for Scott to hold him, while you put Audrey to bed. Or to force him to try and talk to Suede. There’s a disconnect, and you hate him for it. Like any of his allergies were the baby’s fault. Fuck him. Fuck Scott, and his ways to make Suede insecure. Fuck. Him.

“I won’t let that happen,” Andy, sensing your growing anger, interrupts.

“I thought I told you not to get involved?”

His hand drifts up too high for public consumption. His fingers flutter over your covered core, and he smirks as his hand slides back down. Remaining too high, but you don’t care. You’ve not felt this way since Andy. “Doe, I’ve been involved since the moment I came into Ransom’s office and saw you. And since being inside of you, and coming in you, there’s no way that I’m not going to be involved. Even if it’s just to guide you to a better lawyer.”

“That’s who I can afford. And exactly why is Ransom telling you who my lawyer is? Especially considering he’s the one that is talking to Ray Smith for me. That’s who he’s hoping to take over my case,” Andy chuckles. Clearly Ransom left that piece out of what he told him. “He’s willing to set up — payment plans.”

You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about what Ransom was doing. For whatever reason that man wants everyone to think he’s a giant asshole, but you immediately saw right through his facade. Ransom is a good man, even if he didn’t want anyone to know about.

“Fine, I won’t get involved in court proceedings, but I will be involved with you as moral support.”

“Why?”

“You know exactly why,” his tone darkens, and you see lust ping his pupils.

“For unprotected sex, with all the creampies you can imagine?”

His hand shoots all the way to your core, and he flattens it over your covered mound. Giving you a crooked smile when you lean back, spreading your legs even further. “Sex with you is a bonus, not a requirement. But judging on how wet you are right now, means it’s not completely off the table. Now, if you want to act like I’m a sex crazed lunatic because you feel things are going too fast, that’s your prerogative, but don’t insult my intelligence.”

He removes his hand too soon. Lifting it to his mouth where he sucks on a finger. “Did anyone ever tell you that you taste delectable?”

“Yes. You have plenty of times.”

“Because I’m a smart man,” you watch as he puts another finger in his mouth. Can imagine that his tongue is circling the digit before he pulls it out. Smiling as he inserts another one. “Now that we have got your need to make a smart ass comment out of the way. No. I’m not getting involved for sex and creampies. My love for you extends past your cunt. All I have ever wanted was you. We were too young, and here I am as an adult with everything I wanted and I worked hard for, except for you.”

“I can’t have more children, and I don’t want to go through IVF again.”

“I’m not asking. I’m not even asking for us to jump into a relationship together. Us having kids, was just kids dreaming and talking, and thinking we had all our shit figured out. You have children,” you don’t want to say it, but the thought that he didn’t lingers on your mind. Something like that can make or break a relationship, and it’s better to be realistic and honest from the beginning. Scott had ruined you by thinking that your ability to produce him a child or lack thereof is your fault. Andy didn’t care. “Besides thinking about having more children, when you have two perfectly amazing humans already is a bit premature.”

“You’ve never even met them.”

“You already told me they are perfect. I trust you. Are you done with trying to make excuses to not have me in your life? I’m not talking about getting married tomorrow, I’m talking about you having a friend in Newton. Someone to talk to when you’re lonely, or feel you’re at your wits end. Don’t make any more excuses. I get it. You’re legally separated, you have two children, you’re becoming independent. I just want to be a part of that. As a friend.”

Now you’re not exactly an idiot. You and Andy were never able to be just friends. Hell, he’d already fucked you an entire night. But the sincerity in his voice, and the soothing feeling of having his hand on your knee again is comforting. It feels nice to not be alone, to not have to try and figure out how you’re even going to find a friend when your free time is being a mother.

“We should get your kids,” you glance to your phone on the table, seeing the time. “I’m just a friend you met at work,” you gulp. So much change has happened in their life, is Andy being present going to make it even worse? “No touching, no kissing, but I can’t guarantee I won’t smile.”

“Is this why you wanted me to take my car? Did you plan this?”

“This is me planning ahead. I saw the time before we left, and knew this could be awhile. I can get an Uber back to the office if that is what you want,” you want for your children to not be put in adult squabbles. You want them to feel comfortable getting in the car, and there’s a man with you that’s not their daddy. You want them to not think that Scott threw you away for Taylor.

“Do not get too friendly, okay? Suede won’t notice anything, but she will. Andy, I mean it,” your daughter noticed too much. And didn’t have a filter for saying things either. You didn’t want to stifle her voice or for her to think she couldn’t talk to you. Just some things you didn’t want to know. Like how Taylor rubs on her daddy’s belt all the time. Something you can only assume is her hand is too low on Scott.

“Why are you so worried?” Because you’re the weak one here. Andy’s ability to be nonchalant is infuriating. You want him, always have. But it’s time to put your big girl panties on for them, and not be a hormonal teenager.

“I’m not.”

“And you never lie, either,” Andy grins as he stands up from the table. That sly grin that tells you he knows how much you’re worried, and knows that you worry that you can’t be just friends with Andy.

“Shut up.”

“Andy,” you warn as he undoes his seatbelt. Placing his hand on the door handle. “You stay put.”

“Why?”

“Because I can check my kids out of daycare myself,” his fingers tense a moment on the handle, acting like he’s going to open the door. “You can’t just overstep my boundaries before we’ve even established anything. It’s going to be confusing enough for them with you in the car. Stay here,” he places a hand in his lap, smiling as you walk into the center.

Leaving him with his thoughts for too long. How the hell did you end up with someone like Scott? He saw a little glimpse of you just then, demanding he stay put, but there’s still this brokenness inside of you. One he thought you had gotten over. That your parents’ influence still didn’t linger. And yet, you found someone just like your dad.

Andy isn’t certain if he’s good enough for you or your children, but he will try. He will try to be everything that you have ever wanted. To be the man that you believed him to be. You even knew his little ticks, and just how protective he could be of you.

He didn’t have to think about your worry of not being able to have more children the traditional way. It was a non-argument. He didn't care. He could survive without siring a child, but what he couldn’t live without is you. You had children, and while he understands Scott is the unfortunate father, they’re still a part of you. And would be in his life. That would be enough.

How your soon to be ex husband couldn’t see what you had sacrificed for your family is unfathomable. The more he thinks about Scott, the more he hates him, and Andy can’t go down this road logically. He can’t sit and stew about the ways he’d like to destroy Scott, because he is your children’s father. And it sucks that he’s a lawyer, and he’s limited anyways.

Andy could be a hopeless romantic, but only with you. Everything he said he meant. It is silly to say it out loud, but all those women were never you. Even the ones he tried a relationship with. He was a grown adult man, and still longed for you. Not what the two of you dreamed about, but you. Life wasn’t a life without you.

Audrey is the first to notice him. You hold Suede in one arm, while holding her hand with the other. The little boy is very obviously a mama’s boy; his head leans over on your shoulder, while a chubby arm wraps around your neck. Audrey holds onto two lunch boxes, and has a backpack too large for her body, but she points at him in the car. She looks up at you, saying something, and you smile down at her.

Opening up the door on Suede’s side, Audrey crawls in first. Dumping the lunchboxes and backpack on the floor before crawling into her booster seat. “Audrey, Suede, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Andy. Andy, these are my kids Audrey and Suede.”

Suede gives him a wave, bashfully smiling as he looks up at you. But Audrey twists her head like a puppy staring at him. “You came to my house the other day,” you give a quick glance up at Andy. You knew he returned your wallet, and that Audrey had seen her, but you weren’t sure she’d remember.

“I did. I brought back your mom’s wallet. Did you have a good day at school?”

“Mommy already asked me, but yes.”

“Suede, did you have a good day, buddy?”

“Chess,” he answers, looking back up at you with a smile, and you kiss his head. You finish buckling him in, and walk over to Audrey’s side. Strapping her in and look at her. Of course she’d have a ton of questions and no way to focus them into words.

“Baby, you okay?” Maybe if you open the dialogue she could start talking. Vocalize her thoughts, so you understand what’s going on through her mind.

“Why is he here?”

“We had coffee, and lost track of time. So he came with me to get you,” you answer her as you get into the driver’s seat. Turning in your seat, you look at her. She isn’t done with her questions, and you want to allow time her to process everything.

“Do I have to keep this a secret from daddy?”

“No,” you try to remain calm, but your mind wanders to what she’s kept secret from you. “I told you, you tell daddy whatever it is that you want to tell him. We don’t have to have secrets. Secrets destroy relationships. We should be honest with each other.”

Her face scrunches up, trying to think of any question that might further help her figure out who Andy is, and why he’s here with you. “Is he staying for dinner?”

“Would you like him to?” She shrugs. She didn’t know him enough to form an answer. “If Andy would like to come to the house for dinner, he’s more than welcome to. I need to drop him off at the office.”

“Daddy’s office?” You shake your head no. “Is it out of the way like daddy’s office?”

“It kind of is,” Andy pipes in. He looks between the two kids, and Suede still smiles. He’s too sweet. “I bet the two of you are pretty hungry, and need a snack, right?” Suede enthusiastically, and claps his hands. “Audrey, you need a snack, too?”

“Yeah. Mommy and me made scotcharoos last night. I want ants on a log, too.”

“Ants on a log, huh? Your mom used to make that for me.”

Audrey smiles, kicking her little legs around, and you know that Andy has her. “Did she make it with sun butter or plant cheese?”

“She means plant based cream cheese. And I think I made it in all kinds of ways for Andy. Except he liked them with craisins,” Audrey curls her nose as she looks up at him, but Andy shrugs.

“Okay, so it’s settled, we’ll get a snack, and I can call an Uber. That way you and Suede don’t starve to death,” Audrey gives a giggle, and looks over at Suede who laughs with her. The two of them are in a fit of laughter, and you relax. You hadn’t realized how much you wanted them to like Andy. Even if he is just your friend.

Anything with Andy would rely heavily on them. If they didn’t like him — it would hurt. If they were influenced not to like him — you try to center yourself. You have no doubt that any man coming into your life Scott will try to influence their hatred. Even if you didn’t talk bad about Taylor in front of them.

If Taylor took a four year old to get a mani/pedi you smile, and thank her. Making sure to tell Audrey how pretty it looks, and hope she had a good time. When Taylor took Suede to get his haircut, you swallowed your pride, thanked her, and told Scott to next time ask, and make sure that he’s properly in his seat. If Taylor lets them swim at the pool without floaties, you try to remain calm, and wait for the kids to fall asleep, before going in on Scott. ‘It was a kiddie pool.’

You tried to remain neutral with Taylor, even though she’s part of the reason your marriage failed. But having the kids hate her isn’t going to solve anything. Especially since she’s in his life. Her bringing her cat around Suede is a different thing. You didn’t think you’d ever get the air purified for him. It’s bad enough when he’s around a space that the cat has been in. But bringing the cat here, and letting him hold her is different.

You didn’t hate the cat, but you want this space to be cat free since Suede lives with you. His home should be his sanctuary. “Hey,” Andy says beside you, “Get out of your head, and enjoy this moment,” he doesn’t touch you, even though he struggles not to. He smiles, and you look in the back at the giggling duo.

“Give me a good reason to continue this,” you look up at him, hoping that he remembers the thing. If one person is having second thoughts about something the other has to give one good reason and it makes things less scary. You’re terrified. This is early, but it is easy. Too easy.

“Andy, I need a good reason because,” you look back at them again, still laughing, and talking between themselves. “I’m scared.”

“This is just a friendship,” you roll your eyes, but continue to look at him. “And I’m scared, too. We’re in it together.”

You exhale slowly before putting the car in reverse. That was one good reason. You and him are scared. But the kids are happy. And you are. Yeah. You’re happier. You didn’t have to do this alone. You’re just friends. And even telling yourself that you know you’re a liar. You were never just friends with Andy Barber.

You try not to get attached to the sound. You try with all your might to not fall in love with this feeling. This is the first time he’s met them, of course it’s going to be easy. This is the easy stuff. Popping a tab in the dishwasher you start the contraption, and look around the kitchen. It took no time to clean up. Andy had offered to help, but instead the kids wanted to play with him.

And now all you hear is giggles, and the pitter patter of feet. They are playing chase or something, and it warms your heart that for at least today they enjoy him, and he is them. That takes away some of your jitters and concerns.

Andy comes running into the kitchen first. Darting behind you, and wrapping an arm around your waist, shielding himself from the two kids who giggle in front of you. “That’s cheating! Release the mommy!”

“Chess!” Suede nods pointing at Andy.

He leans forward, his chin resting on your shoulder. While it isn’t the most loving thing, it is a playful way for him to be close to you. His beard tickles your neck, “I’ll take Suede, you take Audrey.”

“Suedey! They’re planning something.”

“On the count of three. One.”

“Oh no!” Suede pretends to shiver in place.

“Two.”

“We won’t get out of this!”

“Three!” Everyone scatters. The kids bolt back into the living room, and you and Andy chase after them. The loudest screaming giggles reverberate around the house and back into your soul. You haven’t heard them so happy in so long. Hadn’t felt comfortable enjoying your home since that day.

Catching up to them would be easy, and shorten this moment. It would take away all the love and joy you feel, and also how thankful you are for Andy because he reminded you that life isn’t over, and it’s worth living. And even these small moments make it all the better. It doesn’t matter that the fort in the living room created a huge mess and is left abandoned. What matters is the almost musical noise your children make for this day.

This will be the last day that they’re this old. Tomorrow they’ll be a day older, but right now this is your slice of heaven for the day. Everyone ends up in a pile in the living room on top of the discarded couch cushions. Breathless and still laughing. “Can Andy have dinner with us every night?”

“Chess!” Andy shrugs, smiling over at you.

“It is kinda lonely in my condo. It’s hard to cook for one. But…if it is a hassle, maybe we can just do it twice a week,” Audrey and Suede protest. Practically begging you to say yes to every night. There’s a lot to think about. Scott got them every other Friday until Sunday afternoon.

“I’m — yeah, w-w-we can figure this out. And now! It’s time to wash up for quiet time,” there’s a soft objection, but you straighten up. “And we’ve got to put the cushions back. Come on. It’ll be bedtime before we know it, and you guys have school tomorrow.”

—

Walking down the hallway, you smile, still seeing Andy sitting on the couch. He scrolls through his phone, until your figure blocks out the light, he glances up. Putting down his phone, he gives the couch a few taps with his hand. Smiling, you saunter towards him.

Sitting too far away for his liking, so he pulls you closer to him. Those deep blue eyes staring right into the depths of your soul. Beating down the walls that you swore you had painstakingly built up. Telling yourself it would just be you and them. “They’re great.”

“It’s because it was a good night.”

“With a happy mama,” bashfully you look away from him, but he pulls your chin up, making you look at him. “I don’t want to insert myself where I’m not wanted. You hesitated with me being here every night. So be honest, do you not want me here or is it your fear?”

“My fear,” he solemnly nods. “And Scott.”

“I don’t care about him.”

“I can tell. You get all tense when he’s brought up,” the fist his hand is making relaxes. “He’ll always be a part of my life. Those babies are half of him. And while I don’t like him, I won’t bad mouth him, not to them. You neither.”

He exhales. It’s long and drawn out. Too dramatic to be real, but he pulls you even closer. Your legs that were curled into your body, he brings over his lap, and he smooths his hand over your thigh. “I won’t bad mouth him to them. But you also need to vent sometimes. I don’t want a relationship where we talk about him nonstop. I don’t want him in our relationship, unless necessary. Tonight was nice. It was us. All of us. And he was a non-factor.”

“So what is happening between us?” Picking up your hand, he compares sizes. Ghosting his finger over yours before he circles your ring finger. And you stutter. That fear creeping back up because there’s no way he is meaning what you think he is, “Andy?”

“I’m going to marry you. I told you then, and I’m telling you now. Maybe not in a month or a year. But I will marry you. I meant what I said earlier. This is your pace. I’ve waited and waited, and I have you back, and I’ll wait more if I have to. But, I really should call an Uber.”

“You should,” you lean in closer. So close there’s only whispers between you. “Dinner tomorrow?” Moving your lips causes them to brush against his.

“Yeah,” he answers, and you can’t respond as the gap completely closes. These kisses aren’t needy, they’re so sweet. Gentle pecks that turn more lingering, and you pull away. “One more, and I’ll have a car pick me up.”

“Okay,” you make this kiss deeper. Pulling him into you by his shirt, and his strong arms wrap you up even tighter. Holding you like you are going to escape him again. Life has taken you a different path than you thought, and yet you still hold all this love for him. Things are different, they’re adult now with adult problems. But in his arms feels right. You don’t want to fight it. You want to embrace it through the fear.

His arms always give you so much comfort. Like the way he holds you can stop the world from spinning and you can live in a moment of no noise, no movement, just peace. Being in a bubble with him has always felt so right. “Andy,” you breathlessly say, pulling apart.

Literally having to push on his chest to get air. “I’m sorry,” his head tilts to the side, giving you an inquisitive look. “You waited, and I didn’t.”

“If you didn’t wait, you wouldn’t have Audrey and Suede. I’m not sorry,” smiling, he picks up his phone. Scheduling a pick up before returning to look at you. “You’re a package deal. And I like it all. This life is what I wanted with you, and I’ll have it.”

“You’ve always been so cock sure.”

He hisses, leaning back into the couch as he clicks on the tv, “With a cock like mine, and being able to pull those sounds out of your body, yeah.”

“Oh, stop it,” you playfully smack at him, before laying your head on his shoulder, and just basque in his warmth. Settling on him like he belongs here with you. Getting in one sitcom episode before turning in for the night. Having him here to help with the kids, the household chores, but to have him as your best friend. And your constant.

“You know, you don’t have to be so calm and controlled with me, right?” His hand rubs over your ass, almost trying to push you into his lap instead of just leaning on him. “I can be your calm, too.”

“I know, Doe,” and you know he really means, but I’m the protector. That part of him is never going to change. So you just embrace it. Embrace that your divorce led you right where you needed to be. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it hurt. You wanted to hit him. Wanted Scott to hurt the way you did, but now you see the silver lining. You see Andy.

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Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

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livingdreams97 · 10 months

Text

Eloise Bridgerton - "The Prince" (Part 1)

Eloise Bridgerton x Male reader/oc

Summary: Two people who have never seen each other before, with the same need and desire to be free in different ways. What could come of that when both people meet each other?

Words: 3.983

Masterlist

POV Narrator

In a castle located three hours from the center of London, two men are in a meeting and in a somewhat heated discussion. One of the men is in his late 40s, while the other much younger looking man is in his 23s.

XY: You will go to the palace with your aunt and you will participate in this year's social season.- declares the older of both.

XY2: You can't do this to me father.- denies the youngest . -You can't force me to look for a wife.- the son denies.

XY: I'm not forcing you to look for a wife, just to participate in the social season and look for someone to love.- he claims to his son. -You are twenty-three years old and at your age, I was already married to your mother and already had your brother.- he reproached him, causing the young man to cross his arms.

Y/n: But I don't want to get married, I want to travel and see the world.- he comments getting up from the chair. -I want to get to know different cultures, learn languages and see places that most people can only dream of.- he says walking through the office.

XY: And you will.- he assures her calmly. -But once you find someone, you fall in love and get married.- he dictates, continuing with his writing.

Y/n: And who assures me of that, father.- he says passing his hand through his almond-blonde hair. -We both know that as soon as I get married, I'll have to take care of my wife and start producing heirs. When will I travel ? - he asks the older man.

XY: I assure you that you will travel.- he says looking back at his only living heir. -What do you think if we make a deal?- he offers leaving the pen in its container

Y/n: What deal?- he asks interested, sitting back in the dark blue suede chair in front of his father's desk.

XY: If you manage to fall in love and get married this season, you will be able to travel around the world for 6 months and I myself will pay for your travel expenses. In addition to that, I promise to give you a house, wherever you want as a wedding gift to you and your wife; without the need for you to generate heirs immediately.- the father offers and this captures the attention and interest of the child.

Y/n: But ... - He begins by meeting his father.

XY: You will have to be really in love, you will show me your love for her and your aunt has to give you the go-ahead.- he finishes speaking. -What do you say, do w have a deal? - he questions his son.

Y/n: Okay.- the youngest nods with a sigh, allowing the light curls on his head to bounce subtly and his father to notice it.

XY: So tomorrow morning you will go to the palace, where you will stay with your uncles and before leaving you will receive a haircut.- He points out his son's slightly long hair.

Y/n: Yes father.- accept tired. - Can I retire to my room now? - he asks and the father nods.

XY: Make sure you have all the clothes ready first thing in the morning.- he reminds him as the young man leaves the office.

And that's what happens the next day. After a haircut and loading the suitcases into the family's navy blue carriage. Father and son say goodbye with a hug, before the youngest gets on the carriage and it sets off towards the palace.

Dear readers,

Have you missed me? Because here I am once again, ready to talk and comment on the events of this new season.

While our respected high society was enjoying their country retreat once more, this author did only one thing: polish my art. Or should I say hatching my plans? No, even better. I was sharpening my knives even more and collecting information.

Apparently, a few hours after the debuts of this season, two luxurious-looking carriages have arrived at the palace and they were loaded with abundant luggage.

Could it be that the queen will host a debutant or debutante of the royal family this season, as she did with her nephew Prince Friedrich of Prussia?

On the other hand, Queen Charlotte has once again done something unexpected and has renamed Edwina Sharma as the diamond this season. It will be that she is not happy with the failure of last season with her diamond, that she is trying to remedy the situation and regain her credibility when choosing the diamond of the season.

We also have the Bridgertons to congratulate, as the Viscount and Viscountess have just welcomed their first heir with open arms. And they will not only celebrate the birth of the little girl, but also the debut of two Bridgertons more. Will the matriarch of the family be capable of directing and helping three children at the same time in search of a partner?

It only remains to wait and see everything that this season has in store for us. What mysteries and secrets our high society hides that they do not want to be known.

Always yours,

Lady Whistledown.

POV YOU

I listen to what my aunt reads aloud as we eat dinner, watching disgust and anger fill every feature of her face. I look at my cousin Friedrich , who continues having dinner and not giving importance to what is being read .

Charlotte: How dare that woman question my ability to select, I am the one who created the idea of the diamond and I have not failed even once, until last season. - she grumbles, leaving the newspaper with force on the table.

Y/n: Aunt, don't give importance to that gossip newspaper, they are not important and you are one of the most capable and intelligent women I know.- I assure her with a slight smile.

Charlotte: You will see my dear nephew Y/n, I appreciate your sincere and encouraging words.- she tells me with a small smile. -But if the people believe what this woman writes, my past successes don't matter, much less if it only reflects my only failure.- she explains and I frown at her annoyance.

Friederich: You are the queen, ignore it and the rest of the town will too.- he comments without much interest.

Charlotte: What I will do is use your presence, to relax the atmosphere and make sure that everything goes well.- she comments with confidence.

Friederich: And what do you plan to do with our presence?- questions with confusion, although I already understand it and I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to like the idea.

Charlotte: You are both here with the intention of finding a woman, therefore I can ensure that one of both of you ends up with my diamond and thus recover the full respect of the town.- she answers and I bite my lip.

Y/n: Aunt, you know that I respect you and that I never disagree with you.- I start a little unsure. -But I'm sure you know my father's opinion regarding marriage and that you only have to marry for love.- I remind her and see how she tries not to smile.

Charlotte: I know my dear Y/n.- she assures me with a certain tenderness in her eyes when she looks at me. -That is why I have decided that Friederich is the one who is interested in my diamond, maybe even something real will come out of this.- she says and I nod in gratitude.

It's not that I really want to marry for love, a few years ago I would be happy to find someone to fall in love with and marry.

But seven years ago my opinion changed and I have not wanted to fall in love and get married since then. When I was 13 years old, my brother had an accident riding a horse in a race and died. My mother went into anger and depression over the loss of her first child.

Two months after the loss of my brother, my mother could not continue and died of sadness. So only my father and I stayed.

I saw my father mourn the loss of my brother, trying to cheer up my mother in her depression and soon after also mourning the loss of my mother. I saw him suffer every day since my brother's death and for another year after my mother's death.

I saw how sad and broken he was when he lost the love of his life. The house was no longer the same, without my brother's laughter or absurd comments, everything felt silent. In addition to the fact that the warmth and happiness that my mother radiated had been replaced by the coldness of her lack.

That's why I stopped wanting to find someone to fall in love with and marry. Because I had seen what the loss of my mother did to my father and how it felt to lose two of the most important people in my life.

So at fourteen I decide to renege on marriage, preferring to remain single and not get close to another person in a sentimental way. But now there's my father's offer, and it's an offer I can't refuse.

I have always wanted to travel and see the world. But my father has never left me, saying that it was irresponsible to go on a trip and leave my chores behind. Although now that my father offers me 6 months of travel around the world, expenses paid and a house to be independent; I can't refuse the offer.

Especially when as soon as he could, my father sent me to university in Manchester and having finished my degree in natural sciences and its use in medicine, along with some medical courses; he wanted to enjoy traveling to find and study new plants as well.

But just because I accepted the offer doesn't mean I'm going to marry for love. But I will try to find a woman, who really does not want to get married; but do not want to stay single and be separated by society.

Friederich: If you think it's the best option, I agree to help her and meet the diamond of the season.- he accepts, causing her to let out a sigh.

Charlotte: Well, I hope you dress as well as possible, because in a few hours the guests will arrive and it's the first initiation dance.- she warns us seriously. -In this first dance I am the hostess and it will be your presentation.- she says and we both nod in agreement.

Friederich: I'll put on my best suit.- he nods puffing out his chest.

Charlotte: One last thing, Y/n Lady Danbury will take care of your introduction into society and will help you in the dances.- she tells me and I nod. -She has more experience and can better help you find a woman.- she explains with a loving smile.

Y/n: Thank you for thinking about my needs aunt.- I thank you with a smile.

Charlotte: I always will Y/n, besides that Lady Danbury is hosting another season at the Sharma and so it will be easier for Friederich and Edwina to get to know each other.- she explains to both of us.

Shortly after, we finish dinner and everyone heads to their rooms. I decide to wear black pants, with a morning suit of the same color with gold buttons and shiny black shoes.

I decide to wear a white shirt, with a navy morning suit and a white Byron tie. I look at myself in the mirror in my bedroom, making sure everything is in place and my hair is neat. ( He has the same hair as Theo , but with a little more curl.)

I grab the white gloves and leave the room after taking a deep breath. I descend the stairs, putting on my gloves and listening to the music from the ballroom in the background.

XY: Sir, Your Majesty requires your presence.- He warns me and I nod with a smile.

I follow the servant, entering the ballroom and immediately feeling the curious eyes of those present on me . I keep my gaze fixed, never taking it away from my aunt and the woman with the cane at her side.

Charlotte: Dear, how good that you have arrived.- she greets me with a smile. -You remember Lady Danbury right? - she asks pointing her head at the woman next to her.

Y/n: Of course I remember her aunt.- I nod with a smile. -It's a pleasure to see you again Lady Danbury.- I greeted taking her hand and leaving a polite kiss on the back of the hand. - You are as beautiful as six years ago.- I compliment her with education .

Lady Danbury was very close to my mother, so from time to time she always traveled to our house and paid us little visits. But after my mother died, her visits became shorter and less frequent.

Until after an argument with my father, because of how he was mourning and his way of focusing on work without showing me affection or support, it happened.

After that discussion, my father asked him to stop coming and that if he wanted to keep in touch with me he could only do so by letters; and so it has been for the past six years.

Danbury: As flattering as always prince Y/n.- smiles making me a bow. -It will be a pleasure to be your supervisor this season.- she assures me with a smile.

Y/n: The pleasure will be mine Lady Danbury.- I assure her politely. -It is said that her role in the Duke's marriage was crucial.- I comment and she smiles holding on to my arm.

Danbury: It was and now I'll get you a wife.- she tells me with certainty. -If you'll excuse us, Your Majesty, I have to expose this boy and introduce him to several possible debutantes.- she says goodbye to the queen and pulls my arm.

We start to walk around the room, while she talks to me about each newcomer we pass by and giving me her opinion about them.

From one moment to the next, she lets out a small exclamation of emotion and pulls our joined arms with a little more force.

Eloise's POV

I can't believe my mom dragged me into this for another year and even less after what happened last season. I very much doubt that any man wants to marry the woman who goes to the market alone and joins companies with radical political ideas.

After what Lady Whistledown wrote about me, or rather; what Penelope wrote, everyone looks at me badly and the scandal did not bring my family much good fortune.

But as much as I have refused, my mother has forced me to participate again for another year and this time telling me that I have to really try. She will even force me to have two complete dances, complete dances with someone other than my brothers or she will take away my books and all my liberties.

I haven't even managed to convince her, saying that she can't supervise Francesca, Colin and me at the same time; and that I would take work away from her by not showing up this season.

But nothing, she has not accepted and has put aside every reasoning I have given her for not making my debut.

And that brings us to this moment. To the first ball in the palace, where as soon as we have entered the door the eyes of almost all the guests are on us and the looks on me are not entirely positive.

Violet: Look there is Lady Danbury.- my mother comments with emotion, but I only look around and I meet the gaze of my old best friend.

I keep looking at her with all the resentment in the world, remembering all the damage she has done to my family and especially to me. I still can't believe that she is Lady Whistledown and was able to write that way about me: her best friend since childhood.

I pay attention to my mother again, when I feel how she pinches my arm and I complain, caressing the area.

Violet: And this is my other daughter Eloise Bridgerton .- introduces me and I look away from my now enemy, finding Lady Danbury with a boy by her side.

XY: A pleasure to meet you all, Lady Danbury often talks about you Lady Bridgerton and always in very high esteem.- He greets her by kissing the back of her hand, as with my sister and approaching to do the same with me.

Violet: I hope so.- she jokes with him.

I just watch as the unknown man gently takes my hand and brings it to his lips while staring into my eyes. After kissing my hand, he gives me a smile and politely lets go of my hand.

Danbury: From what I see, dear friend, this season we will both be very busy.- she comments to my mother and I looked at her with confusion . -You supervising your three children debuting and I supervising Edwina Sharma and Prince Y/n of Hannover here present.- she comments amused and I open my eyes, impressed in the most hidden way possible.

Violet: Oh, so you're going to debut too? - asks my impressed mother to the prince.

Y/n: That's the idea, my father thought that it's the right time to start looking for that special person so I can get married.- he answers with a perfect smile; iugh what a rage of a man.

Violet: It seems to me that your father is quite right, finding a special person to fall in love with and thus be able to get married takes time.- she comments and I can see a certain citric expression on his face, but it's barely perceptible and covers it very fine with a smile

Y/n: It's the same thing he says.- He nods agreeing.

Danbury: Why don't you invite Miss Eloise to a dance, dear.- she suggests and I want to deny it immediately, but I see the look my mother gives me.

Violet: I think it's a great idea.- she supports her friend with a huge smile.

Y/n: I suppose that if Miss Eloise accepts I won't have any problem dancing with her.- he assures looking at me with a small smile and extending his hand.

Violet: She doesn't have any problem, right daughter?- she asks me with a smile between her teeth.

Eloise: No, I would love to dance with you, my lord.- I assure him, bowing slightly and accepting his hand.

Y/n: Perfect, so if you'll excuse us, there's a dance floor and a dance waiting for us.- he tells those present with a kind smile and guides me towards the dance floor.

We were immediately on the dance floor, with one of his hands on my waist and the other connected to mine. While my free hand rests on his shoulder and a new song begins.

Eloise: I have to apologize in advance for stomping on you during the dance.- I repeat what my mother has dictated to me so many times before each dance.

Y/n: It's okay, not everything in this life tries to dance perfectly and in sync.- He downplays it by starting to move. -And tell me, is it your first season?- he asks while we dance and I count the steps.

Eloise: Don't talk or I'll get involved with the steps.- I order, looking down at my feet.

Y/n: It's easier to look at your dance partner than at your feet.- he assures me with a certain amused tone. -If you only look at your feet, you'll end up skipping a step and you won't be able to continue counting the steps.- he explains with evident experience.

Eloise: Perhaps the Prince of Hannover had problems with dancing.- I scoffed with a bit of venom.

Y/n: Well yes and I'm not ashamed of it.- he admits standing up. -The dances and some other points of the social events seem too banal and unnecessary for a day to day .- he explained and I looked at his eyes completely surprised.

Eloise: What? - I ask completely surprised, I would never imagine that someone from royalty, much less the queen's nephew, would think something like that about social events.

Y/n: The fact that i'm part of the royal family does not mean that i do not have my own ideas and that I agree with everything that is done in these events.- he comments without much interest. -Besides, the dances are supposed to meet and connect, which is absurd since there is nothing better than a conversation to get to know someone.- He defends his point of view and I couldn't agree more .

Eloise: Then why are you participating as a debutante and dancing with me right now? - I ask with a frown.

Y/n: I guess for the same reason as you.- he answer directly.

Eloise: And what do you know about my debut.- I say defensively.

Y/n: People like to talk, Miss Bridgerton, besides that your disgusted face and little interest in dancing are clear signs that you 're not making your debut for fun.- he explains and I purse my lips a bit annoyed for how fast he has read me; and for what he will have heard from me.

Eloise: What have you heard about me?- I ask him in a somewhat aggressive way.

Y/n: The dance is over.- he says separating from me . -It looks like we'll have to continue this conversation at another time, Miss Bridgerton .- he comments, leaving another kiss on the back of my hand and guiding me back to my mother. -I return your daughter Lady Bridgerton in one piece.- he tells my mother politely.

Violet: I thank you my lord.- she thanks him and the prince makes a small bow and walks away from us. -How was the dance with the prince? - she asks me excited.

Eloise: Incredible mother, dancing with the prince has been such a compliment, it has been a dream come true and now I can die in peace. - I exaggerate ironically and she looks at me challengingly.

Benedict: He seems like a nice guy.- he comments with our mother. -Besides, he's endured a whole dance with our sister and it doesn't look like he's complained about her stomping.- he comments amused, causing Colin to laugh and for me to hit him on the arm.

Eloise: I haven't stepped on it.- I deny immediately in my defense.

Colin: Yes, you have.- he assures me with confusion and amusement . -You've stepped on him like five times at least.- he points out and I open my eyes surprised at not having noticed.

Benedict: We were betting on how many more stomps the poor man would put up with.- he comments laughing with our brother.

Violet: Stop talking nonsense and laughing at your sister.- she tells them seriously. -Now Benedict, help your sister socialize and you Colin; you come with me.- she orders us.

Eloise: And Francesca? - I ask confused not seeing my little sister.

Violet: Your brother Anthony has offered to help her this season with me. - she tells me and I nod in understanding. -Now move all of you.- she says and after grabbing our brother's arm she disappears.

Benedict: Let's go around and discuss some of the ridiculous dresses and accessories of your competitors.- he mocks, offering me his arm and I delightedly grab it with mine.

Benedict is my favorite brother, because he always follows my jokes and he is the person with whom I feel most comfortable to talk about anything. I have always felt a greater connection with him than with any of my other siblings.

As we walk around the room, talking about some of the tacky dresses and hideous costumes of the other debutantes at the ball. I can't help replaying my conversation with the prince during the dance in my head, trying to figure out what he meant by his words and what he knows about me

#eloise bridgerton #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton x reader #bridgerton netflix #eloise bridgerton x male reader #anthony bridgerton #lady whistledown #queen charlotte #benedict bridgerton #violet bridgerton #edwina sharma #kate sharma #oc character #male reader

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bendycxmet · 4 months

Text

content: 825 words. fluff, lil suggestive (mostly in another language), spanish speaking wolfwood, cowboy/vaquero wolfwood

Cowboy!Wolfwood who needs a farmhand for his ranch. He sees the desperation in your eyes as you peruse the shops in town, and offers you the position.

Cowboy!Wolfwood who is smooth in every way possible, all lingering gazes, hot, fleeting touches as he instructs and shows you how to fix the gate fencing in his cattle. The first time he brought you to his ranch miles away from town, he hopped off his horse and immediately helped you down as well, but instead of letting go of your hands, he gripped them tighter, turning them over this way and that, inspecting something you perhaps hadn’t seen. Your heart rate increases, a blush spreading along your body as he rubs his callused hands and fingers against the soft flesh of your own. “Que delicadas…” he muses, and drops your hands, sadly, the warmth of him whisked away with the biting wind.

Cowboy!Wolfwood dresses always in his signature suede sombrero, with a black and silver embroidered poncho constantly hiding the matching black underneath, the only difference being the brown leather chaps just running short from the bottom of his dirtied and muddy boots that stomp down the hallway early in the morning, rousing you from your sleep in your assigned bedroom. It’s an outfit that wouldn’t be flattering if it were on anyone else but Wolfwood.

Cowboy!Wolfwood and you slowly become used to each other’s company, working in fluidity to keep the ranch running like a well-oiled machine. You discover he has a joking side to him once the ice thaws between the two of you, cracking constant jokes at you with a toothpick lodged between his teeth–a habit he now has as he attempts to kick cigarettes since you mentioned you hate the smell.

As easygoing as he is, he takes his ranch responsibilities seriously. You watch as he rides his stallion, hands off from the reins as he twirls and lassos a stray calf, muscled thighs hugging his steed, hips following the rhythm of her trotting. Your eyes never leave his form, your body hot from watching his. A loud whistle cuts through your ogling.

“Mind opening the gate?” he shouts, chuckling at your stuttering. You quickly open it for him, watching as he guides the calf inside to join her herd. He stops in front of you, poking fun at your flustered state.

“I just think you ride Angelina so gracefully! I wish I could ride a horse as good as you.”

He laughs lowly and moves to leave through the gates, but not before you hear him mumble “tengo algo más que puedes montar…”

Cowboy!Wolfwood isn’t just a cowboy living on the outskirts of a town that welcomes him, but he also holds the duty of a priest, going into town for Sunday morning mass, shaking hands with everyone, exchanging easygoing smiles and inquiries into each and every person’s daily life. From your spot across the street, you would think he was a different man from the one who curses when he gets a splinter, but a glance down erases all doubt as you see the same dirty boots that traverse the ranch home’s hallways peeking out from his priestly garments.

“Not very Catholic of you to wear your boots with those robes you know. Why not wear the dress shoes you have shoved in the back of the hallway closet?”

He leans down from behind to whisper in your ear, rosary gracing your shoulder.

“It’s simply not how I work, mi cielo,” his answer comes quickly, quick enough that he’s conversing with a blonde churchgoer by the time you whip your head around.

Cowboy!Wolfwood’s lingering gazes no longer linger, the grazing touches turning into caresses even in the midst of your duties. Your bantering and joking only intensify as does your chemistry, but Wolfwood begins to throw in more flattering remarks about your work, and you. Mi alma. Corazón. Tesoro. His nicknames for you begin to flow and ebb seamlessly into your conversations, so smoothly said that you nearly miss them each time. But he never turns his loving words into actions. You begin to get impatient.

Cowboy!Wolfwood’s eyes widen, his toothpick falling from his lips.

“Come again?” he asks you.

“Si no me besas en el próximo momento, ya me voy de aquí. Wolfwood, please.”

He crosses the distance between you in half the time it would usually take him.

“How long have you known what I have been saying?” he begs you, the embarrassment evident on his tanned cheeks, the callused hands you have been dreaming of holding you like that first day coming up to caress your jaw.

“Desde el día que te conocí,” you say. Since I met you… I have loved you since the day I met you.

He brings his face down to you, soft and sun-chapped lips meeting yours, his sombrero tipping to fall to the dirt behind him.

a/n: pspsps @ayyydra and @aboveweirdest for all our screaming about cowboy wolfwood, i deliver some HCs xoxo

i tried to keep it gender neutral as possible but damn spanish is a very gender heavy language (that being said, there is many nicknames i wanted wolfwood to call you e.g. precioso/a (precious), hermoso/a (beautiful), querido/a (beloved) but the ones i wrote out are for everyone.

some translations:

“Que delicadas…” = "How delicate..."

"Tengo algo más que puedes montar…"= "I have something else you can ride..."

"Mi cielo. Mi alma. Corazón. Tesoro." = My heaven/sky/darling (idk it can mean many things). My soul. My heart. My treasure.

“Si no me besas en el próximo momento, ya me voy de aquí." = "If you don't kiss me in the next moment, I'm leaving this place."

"Desde el día que te conocí." = "Since the day I met you."

masterlist

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thriftedtchotchkes · 1 year

Text

living in a state of dreaming

summary: it’s been a year since you, joel, and ellie returned to jackson, and you’re finally starting to feel a sense of security. but when the sun goes down and joel closes his eyes, the horrors beyond the walls still hunt him, out to take back the family he’s worked so hard to protect.

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: hurt/comfort (mostly comfort), nightmares, sleepwalker!joel, language, minor injury, mention of panic attacks, ellie struggles, post-season one

word count: 1.5k

a/n: inspired by my own sleepwalking adventures :') i've loved tlou since the first game came out, but the hbo show really made me wanna start writing again, so this is my first fic here! thoughts and feedback are super welcome and appreciated! 💕

“You still mumble in your sleep,” she says, worry lines marring her face as Joel shoots up and off the couch. His eyes are much too alert for someone who was dead asleep moments before.

You meet Ellie’s gaze from across the room, her concern mirrored in your own. Joel had always suffered from nightmares, for as long as you’d known him, but it was so much worse now. Of course, Ellie notices. She may have moved into her own space out back, but she still watches Joel like a hawk, a side-effect of traveling together, of looking out for each other for as long as they had.

You can’t even begin to pinpoint the cause. Sure, he hadn’t loosened up much since your little group arrived in Jackson—he was still Joel, after all—but it had been a year. Ellie was safe, you were safe, and the delusion that nothing could ever harm you again was almost believable.

But still, there he was every night, tossing and turning, mumbling evolving into screaming as he reached out for you in the dark.

You do what you can, but your presence alone isn’t enough. You hold him in your arms, the warmth of his back against your chest a reminder that he's still here with you. "Joeljoeljoel," you murmur into his hair. He smells like suede and wood oil, and you squeeze him a little tighter. "I'm here, see? Go back to sleep, we're safe. Nothing here but you and me."

He’s still trembling, but you can feel his heart rate calming. Just a brief respite until the monsters come for him again.

For a while, Joel tried not sleeping at all. He occupied his nights woodworking, your home slowly filling up with small statues of animals and cowboys, neatly sanded and coated in a fresh stain. He’d let the bite of guitar strings on his calloused fingertips distract him from the burning behind his eyes, the headache blooming in his temples.

This isn’t sustainable and you both know it. But he’ll keep going, excuses falling from his lips that you and Ellie pretend to believe.

There’s not enough time in the day, he’d say. How do you expect me to finish fixin’ Ellie’s guitar, I made her a promise.

Ellie smiles for him, treads lightly as if she’s dealing with a child, and you think it’s probably a habit she picked up from the little time she had with Tess. It’s okay, Joel, there’s plenty of time for you to teach me. We’ve got forever, and she means it.

Ellie catches you before your shift one morning, her small hand circling your wrist.

“We should probably talk about Joel,” she lets go and wraps her arms around herself like she always does when she’s upset. You let out a sigh and it feels like you’ve been holding it in for days. She shouldn’t have to worry about things like this. Joel would be furious with himself if he knew.

“Something’s freaking him out. I dunno, maybe you should ask him about it?” She sounds frantic now. “I mean, what if he starts getting those panic-things again and can’t breathe, or he has a fuckin’ heart attack and dies?” You do your best to reassure her.

“Kiddo, I promise he’s not going to die,” your thumb smooths the wrinkle in her brow. “I think he’s just been through a lot. We all have.” Ellie doesn’t look like she believes you; she wants a better answer than that.

“...Do you still get nightmares?”

Your mouth tips down and you glance away. The front door is open and the chill of the air makes you shiver.

“Yeah, I do. But when I wake up, I know they can’t hurt me anymore,” you reply. She must still have them too, after the horrors she’s seen and lived. So much and yet so little time has passed, but Ellie’s scars are healing.

The friends she’s made here make her smile and she laughs more. Her cheeks are fuller and her eyes are less clouded. But scars never fade completely.

She nods stiffly.

“I’ll talk to him, see if something happened.” You hug her and she thaws just a little. Ellie hasn’t really warmed up to physical affection, and you won’t push it. But sometimes she welcomes it when she needs the comfort.

“It wasn’t like this out there, I-...I don’t know,” you continue. “I don’t know what changed, but we’ll figure it out.”

You don’t, and it escalates.

Sunday is the first day Joel sleepwalks. He wakes up halfway out of bed, his foot catching on the sharp, wooden bed frame—the one he built himself, close to the ground just like you wanted—and he can feel the skin of his ankle twisting and tearing.

He catches himself before he can crash to the ground and you’re on him in an instant. “Christ, Joel, are you okay?”

“S’nothin’,” he grumbles, bleary-eyed and dazed. You move to check the damage to his foot and he swats your hands away, which doesn’t surprise you at all, but hurts nonetheless.

The few times he let you patch him up were less a choice than a necessity, to say the least. A memory of Ellie with a syringe of penicillin, and you with a roll of duct tape and the cleanest rag you could find comes to mind, and so you let him go. “I got it, jus’ go back to sleep. Sorry for wakin’ you.”

The door to the bathroom closes and you follow behind, resting your head softly on the door. It’ll get better soon, you tell yourself. It’s getting colder, winter’s on its way, and Joel’s just stressed about sorting out patrol duties; infected are more unpredictable this time of year. Once Tommy and his crew are back from the dam, it’ll be better.

On Wednesday, his eyes are vacant as he grabs for the doorknob leading out of your bedroom, but it's gone, stolen away in the dark. He pounds his fists against the wood, desperately fitting his fingers in the gap between the door and the frame in a futile attempt to pry it open.

You don’t fully comprehend what’s happening until the yelling starts, low grunts becoming frantic pleas. He’s calling out for you, for Ellie.

The lights flicker on, enough to make him aware of his surroundings, of reality. Joel’s chest is heaving, eyes sad as your hands take his, leading him back to bed.

It's Saturday when the front door slams open, startling you awake too early in the morning. The other side of the bed is still warm, frighteningly so, as your hand slams down on the sweat-dampened sheets where Joel should be.

You’re too late to stop him from running out of the house into the cold, barefoot in the snow, as if something was chasing after him.

Joel can feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear the blood rushing in his ears like white noise, and he can’t seem to draw in enough air. He can't remember what he was running from, but its eyes in the shadows still haunt him. It’s all too much and his body finally reaches its breaking point.

It’s a terrifying sight, Joel dropping to his knees. His eyes are blank and he’s gone so, so quiet.

“Joel, please. You have to tell me what to do, tell me how to help you.” Resisting the urge to shake him feels so hard, but you have no idea how else you’re supposed to bring him back from this. He’s sinking into himself, hands tensing and untensing as he battles the urge to fight.

You wonder if he can even hear you.

The commotion hasn’t woken Ellie up, and you’re grateful. You don’t want her to see him like this.

“I let my guard down,” his gravelly voice catches you off guard. “This place is makin’ me weak.” Joel’s eyes are wet and your heart shatters. “Once you stop moving, it hits you all at once. The adrenaline’s gone, there’s no gettin’ it back.” His eyes find yours, and you’re frozen. “The fuck am I supposed to protect you like this?”

You sink to the ground to wrap your arms around him and the snow burns as it seeps through your threadbare pajama pants.

“There’s nothing coming for us, the Fireflies are gone. We got her back, okay? She’s ours now,” you murmur, words gentle even as you grip him tight, tethering him to right now. “And sometimes you have to let me protect you. Even from yourself, especially from yourself. That’s what we do, we keep each other going.”

Joel slumps, exhausted. His forehead drops to yours and his nose is cold as it bumps your own, breath warm and humid in contrast.

“Trust us,” you hum against his lips, and the remaining tension leaves his body.

It’s not enough to stop the nightmares; they’ll never stop. But it’s enough for tonight. And when the monsters come again, you’ll be there to turn on the light.

thanks for reading! 💕

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller

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pamwritessometimes · 7 days

Text

Fridays are for beer and heartbreak

Beau Arlen x Reader

Summary: Your favorite patron’s there to mend your broken heart.

A/N: It's just a little something I came up with the other day. If I'm being honest, I've never seen Big Sky, but I'm a simp for a man in cowboy boots, so... enjoy. 🤍

Warnings: none? oh, maybe that English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad day. For what it's worth, it was a relatively nice, sunny day in Montana terms. Sure, my boyfriend declared the final break-up of our relationship, but to be frank, I was utterly unfazed by his antics; we’ve been in an on-again-off-again relationship for a year now. Not that it was serious in the first place. At least, not for him. And, if I’m honest with myself, maybe not for me either. So yeah, it was a relatively okay day.

Still, there’s something about hearing the finality in someone’s voice, even when it’s a toxic someone, that leaves you feeling a little hollow. The break-up itself wasn’t anything spectacular. Just another drawn-out argument that ended with him muttering some lame excuse before walking out. It had happened so many times before that I almost laughed when he slammed the door shut behind himself.

I was free. Really free. But that didn’t stop the ache sitting heavy in my chest.

I pushed through the rest of my day, the usual routine of prepping for the evening rush at the bar. A glance in the mirror told me I looked the part: western boots, worn-in jeans, a dark brown suede jacket I loved more than I probably should, and my hair pulled back just enough to stay out of my face but still look effortless. I should have felt like myself. I was supposed to be this confident, tough woman who didn’t need anyone to mess with her head, but tonight… I just didn’t have the energy to be that.

The bar was packed, as it usually was by this time of the night. The usual crowd was in full swing, with the sound of old country and blues tunes playing from the jukebox and the steady clink of bottles being set on tables. It was one of those oldie bars that still had that charming and rustic atmosphere, like time stilled between its four walls. That night, I stayed behind the counter more than I usually did, letting the other servers handle most of the tables. I wasn’t in the mood to make small talk or listen to the same old stories I’d heard a thousand times. I didn't have the energy for that either.

Then, Beau walked in. Right on schedule.

He had this easy confidence about him, something I noticed the first time he came in months ago. It was in the way he held himself, like he could command a room without trying, but somehow never made a big deal about it. Tall, broad shoulders, chestnut hair that always looked like he just ran a hand through it after a long shift. And those eyes, green, like the pines up in the mountains after the rain.

He always came in around this time on Fridays, right after his shift ended. Sheriff of Helena by day, patron at my bar by night. There was something comforting about the routine of it. Maybe because he was the closest thing I had to a friend here, even though we were more like two people who enjoyed each other’s company but kept everything else at arm’s length. Still, there was always something unspoken between us, something that hung in the air when he sat down at the bar, a tension I couldn’t quite name. Beau slid onto the barstool closest to me, the one he always sat at, and gave me a smile that eased the ache I’d been feeling all day.

“Evening” he said in that slow, easy drawl of his, laying his hat on the counter. “How’s it going, darling?”

I forced a smile, pulling a cold beer from behind the bar and sliding it across to him without asking. He always ordered the same thing, and I always had it ready for him. “Same as always” I replied, but even I could hear the flatness in my voice. His eyes narrowed a little as he studied me, and I could feel his gaze linger on my slight frown. He had a way of seeing through me, like he could tell when something was off even before I said anything.

“You sure about that?” His voice was quiet, not pushing, just waiting for me to let him in. It was the way he asked, like he already knew the answer but was giving me a chance to speak first.

I glanced away, grabbing a towel and pretending to wipe down the already squeaky clean counter. “I’m fine. Just… had one of those days.”

Beau took a long sip of his beer, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

I let out a breath and leaned on the bar, dropping the towel and meeting his gaze. “He broke up with me. For real this time.” I hadn’t planned on saying it, but the words came out before I could stop them.

He raised an eyebrow, but there wasn’t a hint of surprise in his face. “You mean, finally?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, a short, sharp sound that felt good coming out. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

Beau didn’t say anything right away. He just sat there, watching me with those damn eyes that made it hard to keep things light. There was something deeper there tonight, something that had always simmered between us but felt more dangerous now, like we were toeing a line neither of us had been willing to cross before.

“You good with that?” His voice was softer now, the edges gentler, and it felt like a real question, not just small talk.

“Honestly? I’m better off. I know that. But… it still stings, you know?”

Beau nodded, and something flickered in his expression, something almost protective. His gaze softened matching his voice. “You deserve so much better than what he was giving you, darling.”

His words hung in the air between us, heavy with underlying meanings. I knew what he meant. I knew he wasn’t just talking about my ex, and that’s when the tension snapped into something sharper, something deeper. I felt it in the way he was looking at me now, not as the bartender he chatted with every Friday, but as someone he cared about. But could that be the truth?

Maybe I wasn’t just his bartender either. Maybe we’d been dancing around this for too long. I leaned in slightly, not even realizing I was doing it until I saw his gaze drop to my lips. The bar around us seemed to fade, the noise, the people...none of it mattered in that moment. It was just me and Beau and the weight of everything unsaid between us thick and obvious in the air.

“You gonna be alright?” he asked finally, and I couldn't help but notice how his voice became an octave lower... intimate in a way that sent a shiver down my spine.

“I think so” I whispered.

But my heart was pounding, not from the breakup, but from the way he was looking at me. Like maybe, just maybe, he’d been waiting for this moment as long as I had.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad day.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day, loves. 🤍

#beau arlen x reader #beau arlen #big sky #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles fanfiction #jackles #drabble #oneshot #jensen ross ackles #russell shaw #big sky season 3 #jensen x reader

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sadslay · 1 year

Note

HEY can you dorg a rick grimes x readertsxdr wbere its enemies to lovers i really life your fsanfics AND think rhye are super cool.

- CLOSER⋆☆ 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings — depictions of heavy violence & gore, coarse language, mentions of cannibalism [terminus era], light nsfw content/fluff

if there is true evil in this world, it lies in the heart of man kind.

when the world fell it became all the more evident that evil was rooted into humanity, and it only took a devastating, world-ending event for me to realise. those who were left in the world didn’t need to fear the dead that roamed the earth but instead they should fear the people that survived.

after weeks of traveling up and down the various railways running across georgia i was finally on my way home. my back ached and my feet were almost numb. i had been walking all night, never stopping because if i did, there was no way i’d be able to start again. i had endured weeks of unrest and uncertainty all to avoid the brutalities of my brother's ideologies.

not that my brother knew but the real reason i left our hellish home was to protect the greater good, not because i particularly cared but because i couldn’t bare seeing helpless people coming to us for refuge only to be thrown in train carts to have their heads served on a platter days later.

i dreaded each step that pulled me closer to home. every part of me just wanted to turn around and forget about everything i had left behind but i couldn’t. as evil as they were, they were still my family. as my eyes rose to the horizon - the sun barely peaking through the tree line - i noticed something about a mile down the road. i momentarily froze, my eyes narrowing as i focused on the pair.

it was two men, leaned up against an old rusted vehicle, causing my steps slow as i continued to cautiously creep closer. listening to them closely, i began to listen in to their quiet conversation. one man was wearing a leather vest and had straight hair that went past his ears while the man beside him was wearing a brown suede jacket and his hair was curled and tinted slightly red, along with his beard and chin.

i moved off the road, walking towards the treeline only to catch their attention seconds later. "hey!" one of the men yelled as they both rose to their feet.

my hands rose into the air in the blink of an eye, choosing to leave my pistol hidden as i crept back onto the road. “i don’t want any trouble.” i spoke firmly, my eyes wandering between the two men as the man with curled air pulled a barrelled colt python, keeping two hands on the gun as he kept it pointed to the ground. “m’just passin’ through.”

"passin' through?" one of the men asked, his southern accent as clear as day as his head tilted to the side by half an inch.

i nodded, staying still as i stood opposite to the two men. "just headin' home." i added, lowering my hands slightly, only for the man's gun to rise. "will you get that thing outta my face?" i scoffed, my hands freezing beside my shoulders.

the bloodied man looked at me for a moment before lowering his gun, placing it back inside the holster attached to the belt sitting around his waist.

"you have a group?" he asked, both his hands resting on his hips.

i shrugged weakly, finally dropping my hands back to my side. "guess you could call 'em that." i mumbled, internally debating if i should tell the two men of terminus, although i'm sure my brother would find a use for them.

“that didn’t answer my question.” the man with the gun quickly responded, his southern accent thickening as he spoke.

"kinda did," i smirked, weakly shrugging my shoulders as my eyes narrowed. a moment of silence fell between the three of us, the soft wind blowing through our hair as we all stood on the long-abandoned road. "can i go now?" i asked.

the two men looked at each other before their cold eyes returned to mine. "you heard about terminus?" he asked, his hand momentarily leaving his hip to vaguely point in the direction of the community before returning to his hip.

"yeah." i responded nonchalantly shrugging my shoulders. "if yer know what's good for ya, you'll stay away."

i'd soon realize my word of warning was not merely threatening enough to keep them away.

i was standing beside the grill where my mother was cooking some of the freshly marinated mystery meat when a grin appeared on my mother's lips. "hi," she smiled. "heard you came through the back door, smart." she added, causing me to spin around to find the two men from the highway along with a tall slender woman, holding a katana and a younger boy wearing a brown sheriff's hat wandering towards us. "you'll fit right in here." she added, flipping a small portion of meat.

shit.

"hey mary, could you fix each of these new folks a plate for me?" alex asked, briefly looking across at me, giving me a weak nod.

that's when he looked at me, his eyes filled with a type of betrayal that cut deep. only when the woman with dark brown hickory dreadlocks spoke.

"why do you do it?" she asked, stopping a few feet away from the grill that alex and i stood in front of. "why do you let people in?"

alex offered them a smile, taking two plates from my mother's hands. "the more people become a part of this, we get stronger." he explained, a sentence i had heard dozens of times. "that's why we put up the signs," my eyes met the man's standing behind the woman, his face now clean from blood. "invite people in. it's how we survive." alex continued, began to wander over to the younger boy, extending one of the plates to him before mumbling, "here." before giving the second plate to the woman.

i took the next set of paper plates from my mother before wandering across to the two men who i had met on the highway mere hours before. his eyes were now focused on alex, scanning his body carefully before stopping at the pocket watch that dangled from his waist. his icy blue eyes snapped in my direction as i took another step closer, and all in a heartbeat he had smacked the plates of food from my hand before wrapping one hand across the top of my chest, pulling me up against his chest as the end of his gun rested against my temple.

"where the hell you get that watch?" the man snapped, looking at alex as he kept my body restrained against his.

"put the gun down!" alex stressed, stepping back as the stranger's weapons rose, creating a spaced-out semi-circle defending the unappointed leader of the small group.

my hands latched onto his forearm, trying to ease the immense amount of pressure he had applied to my chest. "you want answers handsome?" i sneered, my voice lower as my face paralleled his. "put down the gun 'n i'll give 'em to ya." i tired to bargain, keeping my voice low.

"i see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle." he spat, tightening his grip across my decolletage as his fingers dug into my shoulder. "how good's his aim?" he snickered, his hot breath blowing onto my cheek before he turned his attention back to alex. "where'd you get the watch?" he yelled, his voice demanding and stern.

"don't do anything! just put the gun down!" alex's instructed, his voice weary and riddled with nerves.

i let out a sigh as i noticed alex trembling, his very cowardness making me roll my eyes. "i've got it." i muttered, causing alex to look at me before turning to the sniper on the roof. "tell 'em to back off." i instructed.

although the idiot was my brother, it didn’t mean i liked him. he cowered at the first sign of danger, his entire body would shake and he could be incapable of forming a complete sentence without becoming a stuttering mess. so when he turned back to look at our mother, it didn't surprise me that he wanted her approval.

"back down!" mary yelled, causing the sniper from the rooftop to disappear.

"listen to me." i snapped, keeping my voice relatively quiet giving us some sort of privacy as everyone stood three or four feet away. "there's a lot of 'em, be smart about this," i whispered near his ear, causing him to shoot me a look of disgust.

"where'd he get the watch?" the man repeated, beginning to sound a little like a broken record.

scoffing at his question, i turned my head a little more, his coarse beard tickling my cheek. "i don't know." i hissed. "i got here an hour before you did." i spat.

"what about the riot gear?" he questioned, turning his body to face a man a few meters away covered in black riot gear, taking my body with his as he spun again to face a blonde woman wearing a red poncho. "the poncho?" he snapped in my ear.

before i could respond, my brother walked into the courtyard, his hands up by his shoulders. "got the riot gear off a dead cop." gareth explained, the man spinning in the direction of my brothers voice, taking me with him. "found the poncho on a clothesline." he added.

i pushed myself onto the tips of my toes and leaned into his before whispering, "don't trust him."

the stranger flashed me a look of confusion before turning his focus to my brother, breifly point his gun at gareth before pushing it back into the side of my head.

"you talk to me!" he demanded.

"what's there left to say?" gareth queried, his eyebrows pinching together as he continued. "you don't trust us anymore."

"gareth!" i snapped, only for him to bitterly snap, "shut, up. it's okay." he took in a breath of air before continuing. "rick what do you want?" gareth asked.

rick. now i had a name for the idiot that didn't listen to me.

"where are our people?" rick yelled, his grip tightening even further as my skin began to turn into an ivory white from the pressure.

a devilish laugh escaped from gareths lips. "you didn't answer the question."

bullet shells littered the floor. a bullet scrapped across my shoulder causing me to fall to the group as rick and his people ran off. by the time i had gotten back up to my feet they were gone and the commotion had gone with them.

⋆☆⋆

watching gareth’s goons bring in rick and few other people from the train cars and lining up along the slop trays, i stood by gareth with my assault rifle in hand. eight men were lined up, each of them squirming and fidgeting as butchers worked beside them on medical tables, cutting into the bodies of unidentified victims. victims that had been taken while i was gone.

“alright.” gareth mumbled, giving his goons the okay to complete the brutal task of taking out each of the men.

a man with a bat swung the silver weapon hitting a young blonde man on the opposite end to rick and the other man from the highway. as he fell unconscious, a second man wearing a clear apron using his hand to pull up his head before slicing his throat, allowing a crimson fountain to spew from his neck into the tray.

the men began to grunt and scream as the goons moved along to the next victim. as i stood beside gareth, i looked across to find him watching each slaughter intently. he was no longer my brother. in the weeks that i had been gone gareth had turned into an unrecognizable monster. i had known about the cannibalistic urges that had consumed gareth before i left but when i returned, i had discovered how bad it had become.

“what are you doin’ this for?” i asked in a hushed whisper, my eyes remaining focused on rick and the man from the highway as they stared right back at me. “they look somewhat useful.”

i could feel gareth’s eyes watching me, his eyes burning holes into the side of my head before turning his attention back to the slop trays. “they’re threats.” he answered plainly. “hey guys!” gareth called out, catching the attention of his goons. “what were your shot counts?” he asked, pulling out a note book and pencil from his back pocket.

“38.” the man with the knife answered, standing behind the next victim waiting for them to be knocked out.

“hey!” gareth yelled, catching the attention of the good with the bat. “your shot count?” he asked.

“crap man, i’m sorry.” he sighed, causing gareth to let out a disappointing sigh. “it was my first round up.” the man weakly defended.

“after you done here, go back and count the shells.” gareth instructed. “kaylee won’t be gathering them until tomorrow.” he added, beginning to write a note down in his book. “four from a, four from d.” he began to count, wandering closer to the remaining men.

a man beside rick, that i hadn’t seen before began to squirm before grunting, “hey, let me talk to you for a minute.” his voice was muffled as he repeated, “let me talk to you!”

gareth sighed before reaching out to the man, pulling the cloth from his mouth. “what?” he spat.

“don’t do this.” he pleaded. “we can fix this.”

“no you can’t.” gareth replied nonchalantly, attempting to pull the cloth back into the mans mouth as continued to reason with my brother.

before gareth could put the cloth into the mans mouth, he continued. “you don’t have to do this.” he repeated. “we told you theres a way out of all of this.” he tried to reason, taking a few heavy breaths before continuing. “you just have to take a chance. we have a man that knows how to stop it.”

did he mean a cure?

gareth looked up from his book. “he has a cure. we just have to get him to washington.” the desperate man explained. “you don’t have to do this man. we can out the world back the way it was.”

“we can’t go back bob.” gareth mumbled, finally shoving the cloth into bobs mouth causing him to mumble gibberish.

he then knelt down in front of rick, taking the cloth from his mouth before muttering, “saw you go into the woods with a bag and come out without it.” he paused for a second, rick turning his head to the right by half an inch. “had to pull my spotters back before we could go look for it.” gareth explained. “what was in it?” he asked, waiting for ricks response but got nothing. “you hid it right? incase things went bad. smart.” he weakly grinned. “we’ll find it but it’s too dangerous to go out there right now.”

gareth had become to desperate. he pulled his knife out of his pocket, pointing it at bobs neck. “what was in it?” he snapped. “i’m curious, and it was a big bag. you really gonna let me do this?” he asked, flicking his head in bob’s direction.

“well let me take you out there.” rick responded, no doubt pissing gareth off more then he already was. “i’ll show you.” he continued.

“not gonna happen.” gareth responded sharply. “this might.” he added, once again his head motioning towards bob.

“there’s guns in it.” rick finally answered. “ak 47, 44 magnum, automatic weapons, night-scope, a compound bow and a machete with a red handle.” he listed. “thats what i’m gonna use to kill you.”

bold. threatening your captor as he had a knife pressed up to your friends neck? very bold.

gareth laughed, shoving the cloth back into his mouth before patting ricks shoulders. “thanks.” he smiled, walking back towards me as he put his notebook into his back pocket. “you have two hours to get them on the dryers. i’m gonna go back to the public face. we need to dial it all in by sundown!” he instructed.

but before his goons could respond, gunshots came from outside and just as gareth went to radio more of his men, a ground shaking boom went off causing us to all loose balance.

“stay here until i know what’s going on!” gareth yelled, running out of the room, leaving me and three of his goods with the four prisoners.

“so we just sit here?” the man asked me as i regained my ground, standing on my feet with my rifle firmly in my hand.

“you got a job to do.” i instructed, motioning towards the men that was fallen.

this was one of the few times i was grateful to be on gareths good side. i had a silencer attached to the end of my assault rifle which allowed me to take down the two butchers on the other side of the room without the brainless goons noticing. and with two more shots - each of them to the head - both of those brainless goons were on the floor, leaving the four prisoners startled.

slinging my gun over my shoulder i ran over to the four men, pulled my knife out the black leather holster strapped to my thigh. i knelt down, cutting the zip ties that had been used to keep them restrained. as i began to cut bobs i looked across and rick and the others.

“out that door, theres a hallway that leads to the armoury, all your shits in there.” i explained, motioning my head towards the door gareth had gone through moments prior. “you get your people ‘n get outta here.” i added, moving across to rick, beginning to cut through the tie.

“thank you.” bob spoke, his voice shaky but genuine as he stood up to begin searching the room for a weapon. “why are you helping us?” he asked.

i scoffed as i cut through rick’s zip tie, allowing him to stand up, following bob’s actions of looking for a weapon. “i should’ve taken down all those stupid signs.” i muttered, moving along to the man from the highway, beginning to cut through the zip tie.

“why didn’t you?” rick asked, his hand pointing at me accusingly.

“i thought he might’ve changed!” i snapped, moving along to the final prisoner. “doesn’t matter now,” i mumbled to myself. “i can get out to that tree-line where y’all hid your bag in about five minutes.” i announced to the group of men. “i’ve got a view of the train yard from there so i can keep an eye out for you and your people.”

“why should we trust you?” rick muttered, his voice bitter and mistrusting as i freed the last man. "you could've told us this place wasn't safe."

i stood up, handing my knife to the man i had just freed before turning to the others. "do you have dementia?" i asked rhetorically. "i warned you assholes not to come here." i snapped, taking a step closer to rick, looking up into his eyes as i muttered, “you don’ have to listen to me, but my brother’ll kill the lot of yer the first chance he gets.”

rick did nothing. he just stared at me. rolling my eyes at the mans stubbornness, i pushed past him, wandering towards a door that led out to the courtyard, disappearing from their sight.

⋆☆⋆

i watched ricks group - larger then i thought- run towards the tree line i had been hiding in for the past hour or so. hundreds of geeks swarmed terminus as flames bellowed from the numerous builds and warehouses. by the time i had reached the group they were preparing to leave. swinging my gun over my shoulder - not wanting the significantly large group to think i was a threat - i quietly approached them. as i grew closer, i made the idiotic mistake of stepping on a dried stick, sending a loud crack throughout the woods.

"the hell are you doin' 'ere?" the man from the highway spat, pulling away from a lady that had short grey hair.

"i just saved your life jackass, a thanks would be nice." i snapped, continuing to walk closer to group.

a tall man with amber hair and a thick mustache stepped forward from the outer circle of the group, both his hands holding onto some sort of military grade machine gun. "i'm sorry honey, who the hell are you?" he asked in an even thicker southern accent then ricks.

"she saved our lives." a man spoke sternly, his hand extended holding my bowie knife i had given him no more then an hour prior. it was the man from the slop trays. "here." he smiled.

"save is a strong word." rick muttered, his eyes meeting mine a few seconds later. his hand sat on his hip - which seemed to be a habit of his - while the other wiped the bottom half of his face. "we barely made it out alive." he spoke a little louder.

choosing to ignore rick's idiotic comment, i turned my attention to bob. "you." i pointed at the stranger. "you serious about that cure?" i asked.

bob nodded along to my question before turning a dark haired man standing beside the taller redheaded man. he had a black mullet and a poorly shaven face, he was also shaking as he stepped forward, one hand rising into the air as he spoke, "that would be correct ma'am." he answered, also having a thick southerner accent. "my names eugene porter and i know the cure to save this mess." he spoke proudly.

"you still need a ride to washington?" i asked, my attention remaining on the two men standing beside each other.

"we-well yess ma'am." eugene stammered.

"i know a place 'bout a days way from here." i noted, nodding my head in the general direction. "s'got a bus round the back, s'been there since the beginnin'." i added, the very news making the two men smile.

"nah." the man from the highway grumbled, causing me to spin in his direction as i let out a sigh of frustration. "las' time we listened to you we ended up 'ere." he spat bitterly, throwing his hand across his chest as his jaw clenched.

"sorry, listened to me?" i repeated sarcastically, my eyes widening in shock as the man stood there, looking at me as if he was ready to knock me out. "i told you fuckin' idiots to stay the hell away." i spat, my voice unintentionally rising as i grew more frustrated.

"hey!" the man with the moustache hissed, causing me to spin back in his direction. "where the shit is this damn bus?" he demanded, taking another step closer to me.

i exhaled through my nose, trying to control my temper as i explained, "'bout a days trip." i repeated. "n' if it's alright with eugene i'd like to help-"

"you're not comin' with us." rick cut in, his voice forceful and alarming as he stepped closer to me, making sure his point was heard.

looking up at rick, who stood a foot or so away from me, i forced a smile onto my lips. "didn't ask you cowboy."

"hey!" another voice cut in, this time a woman i hadn't seen before. "she's got a bus, lets just check it out." she insisted, her eyes focused on rick as he seemed to be some sort of leader amongst the group.

"fine." he grumbled, his jaw remaining clenched as his head tilted to its side, another mannerism that he commonly did. "but hand over your weapons." rick bargained.

i turned to face rick, our bodies now parallel to each other as looked up at the infuriating man. "i ain't givin' you shit." i spat. "we're surrounded by geeks n'i need to protect myself." i explained, although nothing was getting through his dense stubborn head.

"it's not negotiable."

⋆☆⋆

walking up the squeaky white church steps behind ricks group, listening as he interrogated the priest that had let us into the church to begin with. it was poorly lit but well kept as we wall stood in the isle, listening to rick as he continued with his questions.

“how’d you survive here for so long?” he asked, holding his daughter, judith on his hip. “where did your supplies come from?” rick continued.

“luck.” the priest answered. “our annual canned food drive, things fell apart right after we finished.” he continued, a grin plastered on his lips. “it was just me.” he continued as rick passed his daughter to carl, who i had learned was his son. “the food lasted a long time, ‘n then i started scavenging. i’ve cleaned out every place near by.” he paused for a moment before continuing. “except for one.”

“what kept you from it?” rick asked, resting his hand on his hip.

“it’s overrun.”

thats how i ended up waist deep in mirky, geek filled water in a thrift store basement. it was a situation i did not intend on being apart of, but here i was, marching through the grey water to protect the wimpy priest had run and frozen to avoid an old withered librarian.

rick was taking down a near by geek that had lunged towards him in the blink of an eye, allowing me to take one step forward before grabbing onto the back of the librarians head. with all my body weight i pushed the decaying body toward a near by shelf, smashing the geeks head against the metal pole. the sounds of its skull cracking and its blood oozing down into the water let me know my job was done.

"grow a pair dude." i huffed, pushing decaying body into the water before scanning the near by shelf for canned goods.

sudden movement coming from the opposite side of the small flood room caught my attention seconds later. by the time i had tracked through the filthy water, sasha was lifting a plastic container above her head before slamming it down onto the head of the water bloated geek. once the commotion had simmered down, i spun around to collect more unspoiled cans only to bump right into rick.

our bodies pushed right up against one another as his calloused hands firmly held onto my shoulders. the sudden closeness caused me to freeze. his frame was undeniably larger then mine as his body towered over mine, a few damp curls falling forward as he looked down at me. as much as he was overbearing and generally unpleasant, i couldn't deny that he was somewhat alluring.

"you alright?" rick asked, pulling me out of my hypnotic state allowing my eyes to meet his.

i pulled myself away from his grip, weakly nodding. "fine." i mumbled, pushing past him to begin the tedious job of gathering all the canned goods.

⋆☆⋆

holding onto the wooden shovel with both my hands as i dug further into the ground, i heard chatter coming from inside the church. rick and his people were deciding what to do with my brother and the last remaining people of terminus. i continued to dig a shallow grave as the group squabbled and fought over the fate of people i used to call my friends and family. my back ached and my arms felt like jello as i finished off the four foot deep hole -no where near deep enough to bury each and every body - before turning to face the group.

“we’re burnin’ ‘em!” i announced, causing every pair of eyes to look over at me in the dimly lit moon light.

“why?” abraham asked, his voice sounding almost sarcastic as he stood meters away from me with bloodied fists. “this ain’t the time for barbecuin’ sweetheart.” he chortled, his very words causing me to scoff as i pushed the shovel to the ground.

“we’re burning them.” i repeated more clearly, taking a step or two closer to the group as i continued, “‘til there’s nothing left but bone ‘n ash.” i pushed my way past the group, making my way to the first body lying on the church floor. “now, you can either help me or fuck right off.” i spat as i picked up the mans hands, pulling them over my shoulders like a backpack before pulling the heavy corpse back outside.

a trail of deep red blood followed me as i pulled the body outside, nonchalantly dropping the body into the newly dug hole before marching back inside to find the group had dispersed, the only person remaining was rick. he stood and watched me closely as i made my way to the next bloodied body, beginning to pull their body towards the door.

“you jus’ gonna stand there ‘n watch me, or yer gonna help cowboy?” i asked, never once stopping as i neared the church steps.

without speakinh rick held onto the mans feet, lifting him up as he helped me carry the corpse down the steps before dumping it into the near by grave. we continued this same action two or three more times before we eventually reached my brother. i stood by the almost unrecognizable face, frozen as i had realized he was finally gone. my last piece of surviving family had been torn away from me in front of my very eyes but here i stood, helping the very man that killed him, drag his body out to the mass grave.

“you alright?” rick asked, his voice almost startling me after almost half an hour of silence.

i looked up at the man, his greying beard more prominent in this lighting as the moon shone through the church windows. “m’fine.” i hummed. “there wasn’t much left of him anyway.” i added, picking up his shoulder as rick picked up his feet.

another silence fell between us as we pushed my brothers body into the now full grave. as rick stepped back, i leant forward, grasping onto my brother as i search his pockets, finding a lighter. standing up, above gareth as he laid limp brought me a sense of closure as i sparked the lighter, watching the small orange flame flicker in the wind before dropping it into the grave. the bodies were soon engulfed in flames as i stepped back, sitting down on the near by steps where rick followed my actions.

“m’sorry about bob.” i spoke quietly, as the church doors blew shut while i watched the flames roar as smoke bellowed into the skies above.

“it wasn’t your fault.” he spoke calmly, almost authoritatively as he watched me closed from the other side of the steps, mirroring my action of leaning up against the balustrades.

i let out a breathy chuckle at ricks generic response. “i’ve been takin’ the blame for his shit since we were kids.” i mumbled, my laughter slowly fading as i was reminded of the terrible person he had become within the last year or so. “he wasn’t always like this you know.” i spoke, my voice a little softer, almost sympathetic.

“a cannibal?” rick questioned, a weak smirk creeping onto his lips as he looked across to meet my eyes.

i let out a giggle before muttering, “yeah.” i took in a deep breath of the cool night air, the smell of burning flesh now beginning to fill the air as the fire continued to grow. “‘nd ‘n asshole.” i added earning a weak exhale of laughter to slip from ricks lips. “he was actually a good guy, but this world changes people right?” i asked, my question filled with rhetoric intent but more or less sounded like a genuine question that required an answer.

“right.” rick replied.

i looked across at rick, his face lit up by the auburn flames detailing every feature, especially his eyes. “did it change you?” i asked after a beat of deafening silence, observing him as his eyes looked back at me.

i knew the answer. i think we both did. the world changed you, no matter who you were before, but as i sat beside rick, no more then a foot or so away from him i almost saw a glimpse of an older version of him. the way his eyes looked into mine and the way he had himself positioned showed me who rick was before all of this. he was no longer the up tight, overbearing asshole i had gotten to know over the past few days.

i turned to the side, my body now facing rick as i asked, “your not scared of me are you?” not giving rick an opportunity to answer my last question.

“could ask you the same thing.” he mumbled, his head cocking to the side as he now mirrored me, our bodies paralleled with one another.

a laughed escaped my lips as my eyebrows pinched together as i tried to decipher the meaning of bus question. “why should i be scared of you?” i teased, already building a list in my mind of all the reasons a normal person would fear rick grimes.

“i’ve killed people.” rick spoke quietly.

“who hasn’t?” i replied sarcastically, weakly shrugging my shoulders.

“innocent people.” he added.

“so have i.” i compared, knowing there was no possible way that anyone could top the things ive done. “‘nd not just at terminus.” i added. “we do what we need to survive.”

“i killed your people.” rick challenged. “your family.” he added, his head slightly tilted to the side as he waited for my response.

“trust me, if i had an inkling of love left for my family you’d be in a whole world’a hurt.” i teased, earning a breathy chuckle from the man before he lent in closer.

his soft breath tickled my cheek as he whispered, “threaten me again and i’ll have you begging for me to stop.”

“i don’t beg.”

“we’ll see about that.” he smirked, his accent more apparent then ever as he inched a little closer.

i mimicked his actions by inching closer, his breath now hitting my lip as i mumbled, “you are infuriating,” in a low whisper.

as his lips parted, his hand began to rise. it felt like an entire life time but within seconds, ricks lips hovered near mine - barely touching - as his hand connected with my neck. the near by fire crackled on as his lips met with mine with desirous and ravenous intention. momentarily out bodies swayed together before his hand snaked its way down my body before resting at the tops of my hips. and suddenly everything began to move so quickly. ricks hands tugged at my hips, leaving them partly exposed as he pulled me across to his lap. i craved a sudden closeness, pulling myself closer to rick our bodies molded together like two puzzle pieces.

rick leant upwards, kissing you with every fibre in his body had his hands controlled your hips movements while your hands latched onto the base of his neck. his beard prickled against your lips while your finger tip’s entangled themselves in his dampened curls. after a moment you could feel ricks hand inching upwards, his cool finger tips creeping beneath your tightly fitted shirt as small gasps and moans left your lips. ricks hands quickly made their way back down to your hips, bringing to roll them to create some friction between you.

“who’s beggin’ now?”

this was my first time writing rick so- this is defs terrible- i am so sorry

167 notes · View notes

jerzwriter · 8 months

Text

A Tipsy Winter's Tale...

Oh, @annoyingmillenialnewbie! Just three words, and I knew exactly where I wanted to go with this! I hope it's what you hoped for as well! From this three-word ask.

Book: Crimes of Passion Pairing: Trystan Thorne x Carolina Rose (F!MC) Rating: Teen Warning: Drinking Words: 995 Summary: When Trystan & Carolina take a tipsy stroll through a snowy Central Park, who will have to reel the other in? A/N: @choicesjanuary2024 Day 9 Frostbite (almost)

Carolina was doing her best not to fall as she ran down a snowy slope in New York’s famed Central Park. Of course, ‘ran’ may have been a bit of an exaggeration. Given the snow and copious amounts of wine she had taken in that evening, stumbling may have been more accurate. But all things considered, it was miraculous that she was standing at all. The only thing more miraculous was that Trystan standing, too. Not only was he standing, but the man seemed to fly. No matter how hard Carolina tried, she could not keep up with him.

“Trystan Thorne!” she hollered before tripping over a cluster of snow-covered bushes. “Trystan, wait for me! Where are you going?”

But he was already far ahead, and her irritation was inching up along with the snow totals. Looking down at her feet, she cursed her decision to wear these shoes. Who is stupid enough to wear high heels when the forecast calls for snow?. She wondered as she debated what would be worse... frostbitten toes or not catching up to Trystan. In her state of inebriation, she believed that the latter would be a far worse fate. That’s how her red suede Steve Madden pumps ended up abandoned somewhere between the Bow Bridge and Bethesda Fountain. It would make several joggers wonder what the story was there as they zipped by in the morning, but for now, she was just worried about getting through tonight.

Exhaustion was setting in, and she slowed her pace from a run to a jog until she stalled with an exasperated groan. “Trystan! Please wait!”

It was please that did it. Even intoxicated, Trystan Thorne would stop the world if he felt his love needed assistance. Winded and with his cheeks red, he turned around to find her staggering behind.

“Come on, Carolina,” he pleaded. “Don’t you want to see the fountain?”

“The fountain? I’m a New Yorker, Trystan. I’ve seen the fountain a thousand times.”

“But not in the snow,” he simpered.

“Yes,” she laughed, finally coming within several yards of him. “Even in the snow.”

But just when she thought the wayward prince was within her reach, he took off on foot again.

“For the love of...” she took off after him. Her feet were freezing, but she wouldn’t realize that until sobriety reappeared, and if there was any doubt that that moment was still far off, it was erased when Trystan began climbing over the edge into the basin of the Bethesda Fountain.

“TRYSTAN!” She admonished, her patience all but gone. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I want to see the fountain!” he complained. “Why isn’t it on?”

“Oh, I don’t know? Maybe because it’s 30 degrees and snowing in January! That might have something to do with it!”

He continued his walk to the center of the fountain, almost near the Angel of the Waters statue, when he declared, “New Yorkers are weak! In Drakovia, the fountain would be on.”

“Yes,” Carolina rolled her eyes. “Drakovia is so tough that even its waters defy the laws of physics.”

But Trystan couldn't hear her; he was too busy frantically searching around the statue’s base. “Where is it?”

“Where is what?”

“The switch! To turn this on!”

“There is no switch! The fountain is not going on!”

Defiant, he stomped a foot. “Then I’ll make a fountain of my own!”

He reached down, grabbing as much freshly fallen snow as he could, and tossed it in the air. He ran in circles, slipping and falling throughout but constantly tossing snow as he did. A string of curses from the two languages she spoke fell from Carolina’s lips.

“¿Qué carajo es esto?” She swore as she hopped over the ledge and joined Trystan inside the fountain. “Trystan!” She huffed, bumbling through the snow. “Trystan! No! You have to stop! If you get arrested for this, it will reflect badly on the agency! Mafalda will kill you!”

Trystan’s eyes lit up, his lips curling into a mischievous grin when his Carolina was finally within arms reach.

“You’re right,” he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the ground. “If we’re going to sully the agency’s reputation, it should be for a much better reason than this!”

Landing on her back, Carolina attempted to jump back on her feet, but then she felt his weight up on her, his arms surrounding her, and just like that, the rest of the world disappeared. All that existed was the two of them, faces glowing in the dim moonlight, then his lips... his searing warm lips were on hers. She clutched his hair in her hands, pulling him in deeper, the heat between a direct contrast to the bitter cold they found themselves in. But when he started to tug at her buttoned coat, Carolina was ushered back to reality.

“OK, babe,” she giggled, pushing him away. “We’re both drunk, but thankfully, I’m sober enough to know that if we do it here, we’re going to lose our genitals to frostbite... and I think we might want to use them again in the future.”

“But Carolina,” he groaned. “This is on my bucket list?”

Carolina hopped onto her feet, extending her hand to help her disheveled lover up.

“Hon, if having sex in the Bethesda Fountain, in the snow, is on your sexual bucket list, we may need to revisit that list when we’re sober.”

“Fair enough,” he smiled. “Besides, I should take you home and warm you like the gentleman I am.”

“I'm not opposed to that,” she smiled, kissing him again.

With his arm draped over her shoulder, they began to make their way out of the fountain when Trystan noticed her bare feet.

“Where the hell are your shoes?”

Carolina looked down in astonishment, then laughed. “Honestly, I don't remember!”

“Well, we can’t have this!” He said, sweeping her off her feet and cradling her in his arms.

“Trystan,” she giggled. “You can’t carry me the entire way home like this?”

“Wanna bet?” He grinned.

Carolina nuzzled her head, starting to pound ever so slightly into his neck. “They really shouldn’t let out alone, unsupervised. Don’t you agree?”

“Without question,” he grinned. “But where would the fun be in that.”

@choicesficwriterscreations

Tagging others separately.

#choices fanfic #crimes of passion #crimes of passion 2 #trystan thorne #trystan throne x mc #playchoices #playchoices fanfic #choices stories you play

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flowerandblood · 1 year

Text

The White Flame (Part 10)

[modern! rockstar • Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader]

[warnings: sex content, smut, domination kink, angst, fluff]

[description: Aemond is the bassist of the band whose leader and vocalist is his brother. The whole band decides to use the marketing and design help of their guitarist's friend. The story is an interweaving of domination, desire and slowly burning feeling.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Bunny shivered thinking about today's concert. She looked at herself in the mirror, sighing softly. Meeting your boyfriend's ex wasn't supposed to be fun at all, especially when you knew that the other person still hadn't given up.

Bunny was grateful to Aemond, that he had mentally prepared her in some way for this encounter, warning her about what kind of person Alys was. Thanks to this, at least she knew what to expect, and the woman did not have a psychological advantage over her from the start.

Bunny dressed a bit differently for the occasion. From the closet she pulled out her tight, striped, black suede dress, that had a hem at the neck like a short turtleneck. It had short sleeves and reached halfway down her thighs. Bunny chose not to wear a bra underneath, the shape of her breasts slightly showing through the fabric, obscuring what she wanted.

She decided to wear her black lace-up boots with it. No high heels were an option, she didn't want to look like a regular chick at a party. She put on pantyhose, which were only a thin mesh, from which her skin showed. She thought with satisfaction that she looked rebellious, enticing, and sweet all at once. That's exactly what she meant.

Cregan happened to be driving by her house, so she informed Aemond that she would come with him. She left the house at the agreed time, and after a while they moved through the city in the light of evening lamps, talking about some light topics. Cregan could see, that she was nervous.

"Don't worry. I've never seen Aemond look at a girl the way he looks at you. He's crazy about you." He grunted in amusement, never taking his eyes off the road. Bunny smiled gratefully at him.

They arrived moments before time. They hurried inside, and Cregan waved at them from afar as he saw them set up. Aegon looked at him and shook his head.

"Hurry up, mate! We're about to start!" He said loudly, impatiently. Cregan just laughed, shouting at him that he had everything under control. Bunny smiled immediately when she saw Helaena waving to her from the stage. She was glad that she wouldn't be listening to their concert alone.

Aemond came onstage after a while from backstage, a cigarette in his mouth, his bass guitar hanging over his shoulder. He was tuning it, lost in his own thoughts, but looked around, obviously impatient because she and Cregan weren't there yet.

When he saw her, he froze for a moment, smoke coming slowly from his cigarette. She shuddered, when she saw that he looked her up and down. She smiled warmly at him, his gaze softening, exhaling smoke through his nose, looking at her defiantly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Bunny saw a woman come out to them, talking quickly to Aegon. He just nodded, replied something impatient, trying to be polite at the same time.

She laughed at something he said and squeezed Aemond's arm warmly, saying something to him. Bunny saw him take the cigarette out of his mouth quickly, his lips forming a short "Don't touch me", as he yanked his hand away from hers.

Bunny pursed her lips at the scene, knowing exactly who this woman was. She was dressed in a tight suit and shirt, she looked elegant and at the same time sexy, defiant. Her lips were full, her neckline was open slightly, showing off her nice breasts. Her hair was thrown back, loose, straight and shiny.

After a while, guests started to come in. People ran to the stage, Helaena suggested to Bunny that they go for a drink. The band began to play, and there were squeals, screams and applause all around. All tickets were sold out, there was a huge crowd in the club. They walked over to the bar, ordering drinks. A few men approached them, but they paid them no attention.

"Hey, don't be shy, pretty. Talk to me." One of the guys said, apparently directing his words to Bunny. Loud music blasting from the speakers, she looked back at him, eyebrows raised.

"My boyfriend is on stage right now and he won't like it, if he sees you talking to me." She grunted, catching the straw with her mouth and taking a sip of her drink. The boy laughed.

"If he's on stage, it means we have a good hour to play together." He said defiantly and she rolled her eyes, turning her back on him.

They shook their heads with Helaena, tired of their juvenile taunts. They decided to grab their drinks and move closer to the stage, to watch what was going on.

Due to the crowd of people greater than usual, the club got very hot despite the air conditioning. Between songs, Aemond took off his shirt, playing bare-chested. Bunny thought, blushing, that he looked wonderful and that probably many of the girls who were taking pictures of him now, would be touching themselves at night thinking of him.

She shivered as the song ended and she saw him give her a look, that literally made her wet between her thighs. She pursed her lips, swallowing hard. His body, all covered in sweat, his focused face with a cigarette in his mouth, his beautiful, big hands moving nimbly over the guitar, caressing her whole body at night, made her think only about him taking her to the hotel again.

"He's amazing, isn't he?" Behind her, she heard a loud, amused female voice.

She and Helaena gave Alys a puzzled look. Aemond didn't see her approach them, concentrating on playing. Bunny swallowed softly, looking at her closely. She was a very pretty woman. If not for what Aemond had told her, she would have thought her broad smile was sincere.

She finally extended her hand to her, a smile never left her face.

"I'm Alys, nice to finally meet you. We've never had a chance to talk before. Why don't you join me in the VIP area?" She asked, pointing to the couches to their right.

Bunny smiled calmly, trying to control herself.

"Thank you, but I came to see the concert. I prefer to see them up close." She spoke loudly, so that she could be heard. Helaena nodded, confirming that she thought the same. Alys waved her hand.

"You've seen it so many times. As far as Aemond and I are concerned, it's long over, don't worry about it." She added immediately, as if she thought it was worth completing.

She didn't know she had been with Aemond that morning, when she called him, trying again to make contact with him. Bunny thought she was a very slick person.

"I know, Aemond told me. I think I know everything there is to know about you. Thanks for the suggestions." She said, lifting her drink and taking a sip from the straw. She saw a grimace cross Alys's face, which she tried to hide under a smile.

"Then have fun, I'm at your disposal." She said, nodding her head and walking towards one of her staff. Helaena and Bunny exchanged significant glances.

After a while, they heard Aegon say into the microphone, that it was time for a twenty-minute break, followed by the second part of the concert. Helaena and Bunny headed back to go backstage from the corridor and congratulate them.

They entered the room, Momo immediately threw herself into their arms, squeezing them. Bunny saw Aemond and smiled slightly at him. He walked over to her, grabbed her arm, and said he wanted to talk to her in private. It was hard for her to focus on what he was saying, staring at his well-built chest, glistening with sweat, so she just nodded as she followed him into another, smaller room.

As he closed the door behind them, she wanted to turn to him and ask him what had happened, then tell him about Alys, but she couldn't do anything, because she felt his tongue deep in her throat.

She moaned loudly into his mouth as his hand gripped her ass tightly, pressing her against him. She immediately felt how hard he was and sucked in a breath. He broke away from her with a wet sound.

"Did you dress like that so my swollen cock would rip my pants onstage? Hmm?" He asked, lifting the material of her dress, his hands massaging her buttocks covered only by the mesh. She ran her hand through his hair, turned beyond measure. They looked at each other with eyes black with lust. Aemond thought hard.

"Fuck it. Turn to face the wall." He said in a voice that brooked no argument. All trembling and excited about what he wanted to do, she obeyed quickly and wordlessly, bracing her hands against the wall. She moaned softly as he pulled her hips back, forcing her to lean forward. She breathed rapidly, shivers ran through her body.

"Remind me, what Sore means?" He asked, panting as he quickly pulled down her pantyhose and panties. Bunny breathed quickly as she heard the sound of his belt being unfastened.

"That you're causing me pain." She mumbled, hearing him lower his pants, his fingers touching her entrance. She heard him groan loudly at how wet she was.

"Good. Careful means what?" He asked with a slightly trembling voice, his fingers wet with her juices began to massage her clit intensely, her thighs began to come out against him. They both started panting loudly.

"T-that I'm on the verge of pain." She stammered, her fingers clenching the wall.

"And Good means what?" He asked trembling, his finger teasing her entrance, sliding in and out.

"Means that's I love it, Aemond, please, fuck me!" She sobbed and stifled a loud moan, as he took his finger out of her and entered her without warning, until the very end.

His hands gripped her hips tightly, his cock thrusting inside her fast and aggressively, their thighs colliding with a loud, wet slap.

"Fuck, you're so tight. You caress my cock so well." He gasped, fucking her wildly, with all his might, their wet thighs hitting each other again and again. He heard her sobbing helplessly beneath him. "Words, babygirl. Do you like it when I fuck you like that?"

"God, yes, it feels so good" She sputtered, panting with him, her thighs meeting him with each of his thrusts, she felt sweat trickling down her neck. She heard him smile at her words.

"You must love to feel my cock inside you. Otherwise you wouldn't be wearing those slutty tights, would you?" He purred, his hand tearing a piece of mesh from her leg, ripping it apart.

She moaned loudly, suprised, his cock thrusting in and out of her in an aggressive, hard rhythm, both of them on the verge of orgasm. His hand traveled to her clit, massaging her there, and she threw her head back, her mouth parting.

"Word, babygirl" He panted in a hollow voice, as he fucked her brutally, not stopping himself from thrusting his cock into her with all his strenght.

"Good, good, good, so fucking good, ah!" She moaned helplessly as a hot orgasm flowed through her body in waves, relaxing her entire body, her nipples hard with excitement.

"Oh fuck, Bunny, yes!" He panted heavily, coming hard inside her, his cum spilling out in waves deep inside her. They both moved, breathing heavily, purring with contentment and fulfillment, their faces expressing relief.

"You ruined my tights." She mumbled, looking sadly at her legs.

"I'll buy you a new one." He purred, stroking her naked buttocks with satisfaction. "But I'll probably rip them off you later, too."

He slid out of her and handed her a clean handkerchief from his pants, so she could dry herself off. They stared at each other with hazy eyes, still breathing uneasily.

"That was so fucking good. We have to do it again. Don't you think?" He grunted as he fastened his belt. She pursed her lips as she quickly slid her panties over her hips and adjusted her dress, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Aemond reached for the bottle that was on the table next to him and took a quick drink of water. He glanced at the clock and cursed when he saw, that he had five minutes to go on stage.

He grabbed Bunny's hand, pulled her in and kissed her deeply, pressing her against him, his hand entwined in her hair. They kissed quickly and passionately, panting softly, both trembling from what they had just done.

They left the room, holding hands. They passed Alys, who was talking to a security guard in the hallway. She looked at them, pale, her gaze quickly moving to her legs. Bunny pursed her lips in satisfaction at the thought that she must have heard them, and her lack of tights confirmed her suspicions.

"Did she try to talk to you?" He asked softly as they passed her. Bunny gave him a puzzled look.

"Yes." She said, but seeing his frown, she added something quickly. "But I managed it somehow. I'm not going to prove anything to her."

Aemond glanced at her, his gaze softening.

"Good."

Bunny's stomach clenched at the thought, that maybe he'd fucked Alys like that too, during a break. Aemond lifted her chin, seeing that something had happened.

"Look at me, babygirl." He spoke softly and she looked up at him, her lips pursed. For a moment his jaw was clenched as he thought hard about what he wanted to say. "I think…fuck. I'm totally in love with you."

_____

If you want to be tagged, leave a comment below. ♥

@zenka69 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @astral-blossoms @echos-muses @wintrr13 @writingaboutlove1998 @lauftivy @mandiiblanche

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lap1srocks · 11 months

Note

COULD I REQUEST UHHH UUUUUUHHH farah x fem/gn reader datings hcs?

omg YESSS!!!! 😚😚😚 sorry for the DELAY. band stuff :(( but my halloween concert abt to be lit?!?!??

okay so,

FARAH DATING FEM!READER HCS <3

－she's just so CARING!! like, i just feel like she'd pamper you and give you the royal treatment as the QUEEN of the house once you two move in together n stuff

－she obviously is going to take you for rides on her bike. you're literally her passenger princess, you have your own helmet, and goggles at the LEAST. gotta make sure you're safe while riding, obviously.

－as long as you're not bald, she's always doing something with your hair. she's touching it, running her hands through it, definitely loves to style it for you and loves to see you wear it in the way she styles it for you throughout the day.

－always has an itch to make sure you're okay when you're away from each other, always calling or texting you as a quick pop in, always checking on you.

－she also LOVES!!! animals, definitely suggests getting a dog or an animal you'd like, and ends up trying to be the animal's favorite, so you can sometimes catch her ogling things quietly to the animal as she tries to suede the animal to her.

－definitely has a preference for you both staying loyal to each other and not seeing others, because she's just got like, so much love for you and can't see herself or you with anyone else, and genuinely sees you as her other piece.

－loves cuddling, absolutely will just lay in bed engulfed in you for as long as she can, her head buried into your chest or neck.

－definitely has exchanged one of her coats for yours. just loves thinking of you 24/7 and what better way to carry you around with her than to wear your clothes?

－always bringing you things she finds throughout the day like rocks, flowers, bottle caps, ectera because she just likes giving, y'know? love language is definitely gift giving.

－there's nothing in the household that she isn't willing to share with you. she will share everything and doesn't even really require you to ask. what's hers is yours.

#farah karim #farah karim x reader #farah karim headcanons #cod mwii #cod mw2 #farah cod #farah call of duty #farah karim cod #farah karim codmw2 #farah codmii #farah codm2 #lapisrocks

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sanajeh1909 · 1 year

Text

The Spy and The Spouse

Pairing : Chamber x F!Reader

Word Count : 5989

Warnings : Flirting, Romantic Tension, Spying/Action (only mentions of it, there is nothing much except the detailed description of whats happening), Jealousy, Unrequited Love (at the end on Chamber's part), Emotional Themes.

POV : 3rd Person

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

A/N : Sorry for my poor English, its not my native language. Chamber can be a bit OOC. Gif doesnt belong to me. Please do tell if there is any mistakes or off talks/writings on the scenario. There is so many expressions of the situation more than talks because i have no idea what to write as conversation, i have ran out of ideas. I had hard time writing this since i burnt my wrist accidentally now its hard to type without putting my wrist on the side of the keyboard. Yellow is for Chamber, Pink is for Reader, other colors are for side characters. I hope you enjoy it.

The day of the mission comes. She wears black one shoulder long sleeve black dress with black suede wedge heels. Her glasses are same design as Chamber's, except hers was thin framed and had soft edges on rectangular shape. Her hair is braided on both sides to the back and the rest of her hair is combed to the back. This made their hairstyles match.

While she was getting ready, Chamber put on his suit, matching her outfit perfectly. Chamber had been very particular about his own attire. The suit itself was black in color, it was a modern fashion design. It was tailored to his body to look as sharp as a knife. A crisp white shirt underneath was accompanied by a black tie with little black details. His hair, per usual, was undercut slickback.

When she finished, he walked in looking sharp and composed. When he saw the finished look, he was surprised to see how well put together she looked. Almost to a T to how she looked. Almost.

He raised an eyebrow at her look and expression, as if he were about to laugh at how ridiculous he found her similar sense of fashion. Then, he just grinned devilishly. Arent we a slick couple?

He was very confident in his appearance, as he should. After all, he was going to be playing the smug, arrogant husband. She smirks at him and walks towards him confidently. Her back is straight and her chin is slightly up. We will crush them just with our presence, it seems.

He couldnt help but admire how well you took the role of the wife. His eyes traveled upwards from your heeled shoes to the matching dress to your hair to the glasses that only gave you a more charming aura. One of his hand on his pocket, he offers his other arm to her and a smug smile on his face. I couldnt have picked a better partner. We make quite a pair.

She smirks at him and takes his arm. They get in the car, Chamber holding her door for her before going to the drivers seat. With Chamber driving to the party in silence, they are preparing themselves for the mission mentally.

As they arrive, they walk to the party with their arms intertwined. The party is filled with businessmen, CEO's and their spouses in simple yet classy dresses.

The host gives them both an appraising look before looking at Chamber. That look was followed by a small nod. Well, look at this. If it isnt Mr. and Mrs. Fabron. It was an odd feeling to have someone refer to her as a married couple. It was weird to be called Mr. and Mrs. Fabron, but it had a quite weird feeling that made her wanted to be called like that.

The man gesturs towards the crowd of guests. It was a variety of different types of people. The only unifying factor was money.

The moment they stepped inside was the second that the mission and the married couple act started. They even made custom rings to play along. That costed the couple more than they expected, but it would worth if it meant for success.

Chamber walks alongside of her, enjoying how her arm fit so nicely with his. He couldnt help but look at all the men who kept glancing up at her admiringly as they walk. He couldnt blame them. Even before he was a "married man", she looked good enough to make heads turn. All she had to do was show up.

He smiles at her side. He is still the charming bastard for the night. He whispers in her ear. This is going to be fun.

She smirks at his words and whispers back. Show has just begun, darling. Just watch and see.

He chuckled a little, liking this side of her. In the middle of his mission, he was finding himself to enjoy just being beside her. Being in this role of a married couple was different, it felt more... wholesome. It was... nice.

He gives her a little squeeze of her hand. He looks around, analyzing the crowd, looking for certain people. Alright. Just follow my lead, alright?

She nods. After all, he was more experienced than her in this type of situations, so the both had agreed to follow his lead. They have praticed and spend more time to get used to each other, but now they needed to put them all on the act.

Chamber turns his head to face you. He straightens his suit, making sure everything was clean before facing the guests. She was starting to get some glances. Some from men, and some from women. Of course, everyone thought she were just a beautiful woman with a handsome husband. No one suspected them being an undercover agent. They had to have their guards up. Especially in this kind of party.

A small smile crossed his face. This was going to be fun. Alright. Act, beloved wife.

Of course, mon mari~. She wears her most charming and sweet smile as they get close to a poseur table. The guests greets us and we greet them back.

Chamber does his best to make sure his smile looked both charming and smug. With her beside him, the smug smile had a little more genuine edge to it. With the guests, he looked at her with pride, like seeing his trophy wife. You played the part so damn well, how could he not show some pride? ;)

She takes a deep inhale, enjoying the feeling of the atmosphere around them. No one could tell the twi were anything but an extremely loving, happily married couple. No one would suspect a thing until him and her make a move. This had to be a good plan. This has to go well.

She pulls a waiter towards their table. Chamber looks at her out of the corner of his eye. He was making sure she was acting her part. Do you want something to drink, darling? She asks as she glances at the waiter, then she smiles at Chamber.

Chamber couldnt stop lookin at her. Acting and pretending felt... good, with her. She acter her part, like a good "married couple", and made the act so believable he almost forgot the reason they were there. This moment, the most intimate part of it all, was so convincing it blurred a line in his mind that he didnt know was there.

Chamber looks at her and whispers, still smiling. Your choice.

She smiles at him warmly, not too excessive to pull the attention to me, not insincere to look cold towards him. Then, im ordering Bordeaux Blend for you and for me... You choose. She gives him a subtle smirk with her voice is velvet-like and lowered.

He couldnt help but smile. In this moment, she acted so well, he would honestly consider taking her out of this plan and just make her his wife. He spoke in with a deep, warm and velvety tone, trying to match her. With a certain confidence, he orders a glass of champagne for her. This would work. A toast in advance...

After short while, waiter comes with the orders and they get their beverages. He turns his gaze towards her. For a successful mission.

She smiles at him. No one heard his sentence, that was a good thing. For our success.

A successful mission... and a successful marriage. He said the last part with a grin. It was half out of instinct, the other half just for show. It was part of the act, a married couple that planned their future together. Yet it was odd to him that he wanted that future with her, someone that came into his life at a most unusual time.

The people on the other tables clinks their glasses almost at the same time with them, then they take small sip from the beverage. It was time to wait for the perfect moment to strike. Her eyes slowly returns to scan the crowd. A lot of suspicioous types there... A lot of interesting people...

Chamber leans back slightly, his eyes sweeping across the party as he thought. His eyes landed on a certain target at the right side of the room, clearly a high-ranking businessman that looked to be talking to a woman in a nice dress.

He leans closer to her, lowering his voice to a whisper. You see that man on the right with the gorgeous woman? His name is Laurent Danton. I know him from previous missions. That woman he is been talking to is Anette Chavois, the CEO's daughter. Our mark.

She looks at the targets without making it obvious, then speaks in a tone that matches his. Yeah, lets keep an eye on them and approach carefully.

He whispers into her ear. I have been keeping an eye on him tonight, and the target always moves between drinks. Its perfect for us to take advantage of this.

He pulls his head back to look at her. As soon as he leaves his current target, we should make our move. Do you agree?

Yes, on your lead. She whispers to him, then both takes long sip from their beverages.

He gives her an enthusiastic nod and looks at his watch, keeping on eye on Mr. Danton from the corner of his eye. He could see that the man was getting into particularly... interesting discussion with the woman he was with, his right arm slightly draped on her shoulder. It looked to be a private conversation.

Chamber checks his watch once more, and with a slight flick of his head he indicates that its time. The couple puts their empty glasses on the tray that was on waiters hand which was passing by, then they make their move. Now the show is about to begin.

Once Mr. Danton took a few steps away from his partner, Chamber immediately moved towards the two, with her on his arm. The man looks at them, surprised to see the handsome couple approaching him. He offered a warm smile to Chamber and shifts his gaze to the stunning woman on Chamber's arm, offers a handshake while addressing her...

Laurent Danton. Pleasure. And you are?

She gives a smile mixed with a smirk. she shakes Laurent Danton's hand eleganty. Y/N Fabron.

Its clear Danton likes the sound of her name, and she is pretty sure he just took a long look at her. Danton has eyes for women, that much is clear. Not just any women, though. Women that are just as gorgeous as her. She could tell by the way his eyes were fixated on her.

Chamber speaks before Laurent can come up with a flirtatious comment directed his wife. Vincent Fabron. He shakes Danton's hand, then moves his hand towards her in a welcoming gesture. My wife. She bows slightly as if she is proud to be Vincent's wife, still smiling at the businessman.

Laurent's eyebrows raise. He looks between the two of them, then he chuckles, clearly impressed. What a beautiful couple you make, to have such a stunning and gorgeous woman with you, Mr Fabron. And his eyes lingered back at her. If they werent pretending to be wife and husband, the man would obviously be flirting with her left and right.

Chamber didnt look away but his arm tightened on her hand, and his eyes narrowed in a focused manner. He didnt like these kinds of people in the slightest. After a few moments of silence, he speaks with a casual tone, like this was a random encounter. So, i understand you are friends with Anette Chavois? Thats an interesting woman, if i have ever met one. The tone wasnt quite hostile... but it wasnt friendly either.

He directly went to the topic. No games, no subtle meanings... She still keeps smiling and strokes his arm slightly to signal him if something goes wrong, she will back him up.

A quiet smile on Laurent's lips. He notices that stroke, no doubt. He knew it was meant for him to signal if something was wrong. But she looked absolutely charming, and the fact that she was touching him was just as effective. Even the woman he was with tilted her head, looking at her with admiration.

Laurent clears his throat, his smile growing wider by the second. Of course, we are good friends. Anette and me, we go way back.

Chamber looks over at her and gives her a smug smile, proud of how she was able to carry herself. He then looks back towards Laurent. You two must have a lot to talk about then. He makes a small pause. Or perhaps i can steal my wife for a moment?

She chuckles softly, it was fake but it made the mood that was getting heavy a little bit lighter. Mr. & Mrs. Fabron could see the man considering the decision. He clearly wanted to say yes, being a man of status and privilege... but the hesitation came from him wanting to keep Y/N close, too. An excuse to have her nearby just to look at.

Laurent chuckles. Just for a moment. He gestures towards his partner. Anette looks at her again, her eyes studying Y/N, perhaps a little too intently. Y/N knew that look. Anette was jealous. Of her.

Y/N smiles and they take some steps back, to have some privacy away from the crowd, including the businessman and CEO's daughter.

Chamber turns to face her, speaking quietly so only she can hear his words. His tone was soft and sweet... Are you okay, wife?

His arms wraps around her waist, his eyes closing in satisfaction. She was the only thing he could focus on, like a beautiful distraction that would lead to a dangerous spiral. He was just making sure her part was going well.

She reaches a hand to the side of his neck, gently caressing, her hand trails down to his shoulder sometimes and trails back to his neck. I am, except the hungry looks of Laurent. If we werent on a mission, i would have taken care of him. But i have to bear it now. She speaks in quiet tone, almost playfully and pouting, but he knew she was serious on her words. She was clearly irritated by the flirtation of Laurent, but she was heeping the pose for the sake of the mission and Chamber.

His eyes narrowed slightly in irritation, his grip on her waist tightening in an almost possessive fashion. He was still playing the role, but the words were genuine. He didn't like the way these rich, flirtatious people tried to get at her. He gives a warm, friendly smile, but his eyes were stern. One hand stayed on her waist, the other hand ran across her shoulder to her neck. His thumb caressed her cheek.

Husband mode activated. If he so much as touches you, wife, I'll make him regret it. Dont worry, beloved wife. I will take care of this situation.

Then Laurent spoke up again, a clear tone of sarcasm in his question. Tell me, Mrs. Fabron. He was being far flirtier than anyone should, and he knew it. He was clearly enjoying it.

Chamber had no problems ignoring Danton's presence when she decided to keep talking to the man. If anything, it got him more irritated the longer the conversation with him went on. Laurent was just enjoying the situation a little too much… in an inappropriate manner. Chamber let out a quiet sigh, trying to keep his smile as polite as possible.

Laurent noticed the sigh, and he spoke up while giving him a smug smile.

Laurent seemed almost as arrogant as Vincent thought he would be. It wasn't a good look for a man in his position. It was good that he was an arrogant man, though, because it was exactly what Vincent wanted. What he needed. He was going to let the man have his arrogance, in order to catch him off-guard.

Chamber looked at her softly, wanting to protect her from this person…

Excuse me, Mr. Danton? She asks without turning her body towards Laurent, one hand on Chambers shoulder and other hand is on his arm. Chamber's arms are wrapped around her waist again. She gives a gentle smile to Laurent to not cause a scene, but her body language shows how much she got uncomfortable with his behaviors.

Laurent immediately stops, his eyes shifting towards her. It took more than a second to break the smile he gave. He turned to her, a charming grin on his face. One that could not hide his intentions. I did say just a moment, didn't I? He looked as though he couldn't help it; in fact, he was simply unable to take his eyes off Y/N. He looked at her with such a predatory smile. He gave off a certain aura that he was sure Anette was enjoying. No, she wasnt. She looked at Y/N with that familiar jealousy.

Y/N chuckles softly and let go of Chamber's shoulder, but then she holds onto his arm with both hands. Of course, you did, Mr. Danton. We got carried away, apologies.

The more she tried to act the part with Laurent, Anette's gaze didn't waver. Anette would glare at Y/N, as if to express how irritated she was by the situation. Her partner looked at Mrs. Fabron, Y/N, still with that predatory gaze and sly smile. All he would need was a simple word, and he would drop Anette right away. Y/N could see the attraction to her in his gaze. Y/N could almost feel Anette's jealousy behind her. Anette needed to look good to her own partner, and Y/N was certainly ruining that.

Anette rolls her eyes, obviously knowing the intention of both parties. She can't believe she has to share a partner with Mrs. Fabron. Anette looked like she wants to make a scene to get Laurent's attention back to her. She's the type who's used to having the attention on her. Anette clearly needs a lot of it.

Chamber is still in character, so he keeps a smile on his face. However, his grip slowly gets tighter and tighter on his partner's waist. He was getting genuinely annoyed by this flirtatious bastard.

Y/N feels the tight grip on her waist and puts her hand over his gently, their rings on their fingers were touching each other. She gently stroke his hand to calm him down.

Her hand was exactly the kind of distraction he needed. For a second, his attention was back on her, and her only. He looked to her, her hand stroking his, and the anger on his face slowly disappearing as his grip on her relaxed. The warmth of her hand put a grin back on his face.

He suddenly had a mischievous idea. He leaned in closer, as if they had something between them. He kept his voice low and calm, letting his eyes rest on Anette. Let's cut to the chase, darling. You know that won't last.

Y/N smirks at him. She had a plan and they found their targets, why miss them when they can catch them? Why don't we all sit and talk a little bit? She suggests to Laurent. By we, she meant all four of them, but she is sure he will accept it.

Laurent's expression changed a little, from the predatory and charming smile, to an expression of confusion and intrigue. He was clearly trying to read both of them, searching for their intentions. He looks back at Anette. Anette was still looking at her with anger, clearly not happy with how her partner was acting. He turned back to Mrs. Fabron with a grin. The more, the merrier, darling. Have a seat. He gestures towards the empty chairs. The four of them was certainly drawing a lot of attention from other guests.

Y/N smiles and they all four walk to the empty table enough for 4 people. They sit down on the table. Chamber next to her, Anette across her, and Laurent next to Anette and across Chamber.

Chamber looks at the table. He cant help but notice how close Anette and Laurent are sitting. It wasnt a matter of space at the table, it was an act of affection. A clear display to the other guests, as if it hadnt been clear already, this was a couple. Anette placed her hand on Laurent's, resting on the table. She wore a ring on it. A gold wedding band. Fabron couple saw a small glimpse of it.

Y/N was holding Chamber's hand and gave slight squeeze on his hand, signaling the ring on Anette's finger. Chamber feels her squeeze his hand and he returns the squeeze to reply that he saw the ring too. His eyes were on Anette and Laurent's interaction. They were… comfortable together.

Y/N was wondering how much longer she'd have to sit here in the presence of these people. She had a job to do. That was the only problem. But at that moment, all she wanted was to have a moment for just the two of them, Chamber and her. All they needed to do was get close to the Anette and Laurent, and make the couple trust them enough to give some information. except that everything was nothing but just empty words.

She waited and watched. Laurent and Anette's hand kept touching… and touching. Y/N's eyes wandered to see Anettes's face. Anette was clearly enjoying this conversation. She also noticed the woman kept glancing at Y/N and Chamber out of the corner of her eyes. It was like Anette was jealous, but Y/N couldn't say why. Chamber squeezes her hand again. He was just checking in with her. His grip on her hand was getting tighter. A sign he was getting impatient.

She strokes his hand, then starts a conversation to talk. An easy and light conversation that won't bother anyone. After a good hour, They all laugh and chat. They did their job and got the information they needed. They could leave after not so long.

Chamber gave a casual and handsome smile towards Laurent and Anette. His grip on her hand was starting to hurt, but he didn't care. He was too intent on ending this conversation. He also noticed her hand stroke on his a second time. So, Anette didn't manage to be in a corner of his attention anymore. All he could think about, all he could focus on, were her hands on his, and the way she looked at him with those beautiful eyes. He was too caught in the moment, almost forgetting his job.

Y/N turns her head around to look whats happening around them. Clearly bored from the atmosphere and the conversation yet she had to play it off. Chamber looks around and sees that some partners were looking at them with awe and admiration, some women with jealousy, and Anette with… jealousy as well. From the way Anette kept looking at her, he was sure his hypothesis were correct. …This might work. He looked at her. I have a plan I think you'll like.

Y/N looks at him confused, but they were partners, even if it was just an act, she had to trust him. Especially when they were on a mission.

Chamber takes a couple steps back, pulling her with him. He moves slowly, seductively, and with grace. He took some steps back, putting some space between the table Anette and Laurent were sitting and him and his partner. He grabbed her by the waist, his arms slowly pulling her in. His eyes never left hers, the same captivating look from before, just a little more intimate.

He started dancing with her on the spot. The music was slow, the atmosphere was right, and the way they kept looking at each other… It was perfect. Y/N turns her head around to look whats happening around them. There was a light romantic melody on the background and some couples were dancing together. They can do a little show before they leave, maybe?

She smirks as she understood what he was planning. She puts her hand on his shoulder as they dance, they were close enough to whisper to each other. She whispers with a smirk. You really put on a show, Mr. Fabron. She teases him with the title. He really knew what he was doing.

He just pulls her closer to him with a smirk, his face looking even more smug than usual. At that moment, his eyes locked on Anette's for a moment. The predatory and arrogant look was still there, but it changed ever so slightly. He was observing Anette's behavior. His hand slowly slides up to the back of her neck. It was so warm, so soft. He leans in closer to her ear, whispering with confidence. Did you enjoy the show, darling?

She couldn't help but chuckle, but She tried her best to keep the smug smile on her face. The music was perfect for this kind of slow dance. It has so far worked, beloved Fabron. She looks around the room, seeing all the eyes on them, all the eyes on the two of them.

He pulls his head back. Just enough to see her face, and just enough for her to see that grin. He slowly drags his fingertips across her face, tracing her mouth and chin, still staring at her. The way she looked at him, the way her eyes locked on his. He couldn't look away. Your body is amazing. He whispers. His lips are very close to hers, but the man decided against the last step… yet he was inches away, his mouth at a perfect distance from hers.

The couple was dancing together. As much as Anette hated it, that much was obvious. But even while she looked at the two of them with jealousy, there was no denying it: they were quite the couple. Anette was clearly starting to question her relationship with Laurent after seeing the way he kept looking at Y/N.

Y/N smirks at him, she knew his intention and whispers. Oh, my husband wants kiss? She chuckles softly. I hope you still remember this all is just an act at the end of the mission. I hope your heart won't break after a pretentious kiss.

He couldn't help but chuckle at her teasing. She was too bold sometimes. Still, he couldn't resist. Still inches away from her lips, he leans closer, his eyes locked on hers. He whispered, loud enough for only her to hear. …I do get to kiss my beautiful wife, right? She chuckles silently. Then… their lips meets in a tender, gentle, slow kiss.

It was everything he expected it to be, and so much more. His eyes lit up when she kissed back, their lips touching for those precious, blissful moments. He pressed his lips against hers, matching the same gentle and slow pace. This kiss was tender and beautiful, an act of pure affection. Even if they had to lie, even if this moment was going to be just for a short instant, the two of them kissed, as passionately as any husband and wife would kiss. But they had a job to do.

Their lips part away after the short kiss. She speaks whispering and teasingly as they walk back to the table. Be grateful my lipstick doesn't come off.

Even though he knew he shouldn't, the grin on his face widened. Somehow the kiss made him feel more confident and smug than usual, and he was completely aware of it. I would have been happy to get it off your face anyway. I wouldn't mind the red lipstick on my face. He gave her a devilish look, enjoying the little fun he was having, if not enjoying the mission itself.

She rolls her eyes and chuckles. It was time to leave, since Anette and Laurent was ready to leave this "businessmen party".

Chamber glances at Laurent and Anette, whose eyes were still on the two of them. Their eyes seemed to give off a different kind of energy now, like the kind of people who just got to the end of the perfect date. Anette seemed more enamored than ever, but Laurent seemed… different. Almost as if he was jealous. Jealous of Chamber for being Y/N's husband. Chamber checks his watch. It was time for them to wrap things up.

Chamber turns and addresses the four of them. We have had a lovely night, wouldnt you agree, chérie?

She smiles at him gently. Thats right, it was a pleasant night, mon mari.

He turns his body ever so slightly towards her, keeping his eyes locked on her. He then raises a hand in the air. A small gesture of leaving the party.

Chamber's gaze suddenly turned towards Laurent, their eyes locked, like if they were trying to outstare eavh other. Laurent looked away first, almost reluctantly. He could barely hide his annoyance, like he had the worst case of jealousy.

Y/N could feel Anette squeeze Laurent's hand, and a soft kiss on his cheek. She whispered something into his ear, and Laurent let a smile creep onto his face as he nodded. He didn't look at Y/N anymore.

We should go. Chamber's smirk returned.

She bows slightly and they both turn towards the exit, arms intertwined. She whispers to him, clearly exhausted and frustrated from everything. Finally.

He gave her a charming smile. Their mission was successful, and she did a great job being his wife for that period of time. His eyes fell on her lips, as if there was something to say but he chose not to say it. He held on a little more strongly to her arm. He just enjoyed the intimacy of being with her, like the most devoted husbands might do.

I feel like we should celebrate our success somehow. He smirks, looking like he had a few ideas on his mind.

I want to celebrate it by taking my shoes off and jumping in my bed for a good night's sleep. She speaks clearly irritated by the party, act and Laurent's flirting.

He cant help but chuckle and look at her sideways, rolling his eyes. He smirks at her playfully, still clearly trying to look like the most loving husband. I think i have the perfect remedy for that... He leans in closer. In the meantime, can my wife walk next to me, arm in arm, with a smile in that gorgeous face of hers? He looks at you with more than just a hint of affection.

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Chamber opens the door for her, she slumps on the passenger seat. He gets in driver's seat. Lets just end this mission. And since we are done with pretending to be a happy married couple... She takes the ring out of her finger and puts it on the cup holder of the car.

If his eyes could go any wider, they would. His smile disappeared from his face, and was replaced by confusion. His reaction wasnt due to pain or sadness, it was due to the sudden change in tone. His confident, happy-go-lucky expression turned into a look of surprise... followed by something.

She could feel that something in his eyes. It was like a tiny flicker, but she saw it. He couldnt help but look surprised... and disappointed. He turned his gaze away. ...Of course. He starts the car.

She stares at the road in silence whole time back to the quarters. All the act, all the pose of married couple ended. She had told him in the first place, after this ends, everything will be over. Now everything ended, and they were going back to how they were.

Chamber kept driving. The radio was off, the windows slightly open, with a beautiful night and a clear sky outside. The silence was awkward, to say the least. His eyes were focused on the road, while his hand gripped tightly to the steering wheel. His face was emotionless, while his eyes were filled with regret. In such an odd way, even though the act was a lie, he felt hurt. Because of his role, because of who the target was, and because of her.

As he parks his car on the parking lot of headquarters, she had fallen asleep on the passenger seat on their way back after all the tiredness of the mission washed over her.

He opened the door and saw her asleep. His eyes looked down at her, her face so peacefully serene as she slept. He gave a small smile. He was proud at how well she managed to act for most of the time. He wasn't proud of something else, though. He got the ring from cup holder and put it on his jacket's pocket.

He gently picked her up so that she wouldn't wake up. With his arm under her legs and the other supporting her back, he walked to her room to lay her down. The way he walked and his face said: "I just want to take care of you."

He placed her on the bed, her body looking like a sleeping angel. He then sat down on the edge of the bed, watching her sleep as he stroked her hair with extreme tenderness. His face was still expressionless, but his eyes gave the expression away. The look of... Love. He loved her. But that feeling would have to wait. He looked at the ring on the coffee table. He had to keep telling himself he had a job to do.

He placed her down carefully. He pulled the blanket up to my chin and he took off her shoes for her, placing them on the side of the bed. He then turns the light off, but he just stands there. Still no words, nor any hint of movement. He is just watching over her as she sleeps. Making sure she is comfortable. Making sure she is okay. Doing what a husband would do for their partner. It was an affectionate yet sad sight, if one could call it that. He had placed the ring she took off to the table on the bedside. She was still sleeping, her hair draped over the pillow, the blanket over her.

Chamber looks at her. He sees the beautiful and fragile features of her face, and the way she sleeps peacefully and serenely. He couldn't help but place a soft, tender kiss on her forehead. He lingered for a second, letting his lips linger, but he knew time was of the essence. He walked out, turning off the lights behind him, leaving her room pitch black.

On his way to his room, he turns towards her door once more. His chest filled with conflicted emotions, he turns away and enters his quarters, leaving her to rest. The mission was over, but his heart remained undecided.

He enters his own room. He sits down on his bed, looking at the bed beside his own. His face has an expression she've never seen, an expression that he had never expected. He was thinking about her. About the one woman who had the power to change his life. The one woman who made him feel both warm and cold. The one woman who made him feel so much affection and love at the same time. The one woman who could break his heart.

He throws himself on his bed to lay down. As if he was too annoyed with himself. Too much work, too much acting. His head spun with emotions. The mission was over. So why did his heart feel like a trainwreck?

Sorry if this sucks with too much explanation and lacking conversation and mission scenes/action. I had hard time to write something good and it was hard to type with burnt wrist so it took longer than intended. I hope this meets with your expectations.

#valorant chamber #valorant x reader #vincent fabron #chamber #chamber x reader #valorant fanfiction #chamber valorant #valorant chamber x reader #valorant vincent fabron

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smaptain-smerica · 2 years

Text

Time: Post-Top gun: Maverick

Y/n Blackwood - L/n, daughter of Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood. Y/n took a strong interest in planes from a young age. Knowing her father was an esteemed pilot drew her even further into the navy. Quickly, she became one of the best solo pilots and graduating at the top of her class at Top Gun.

Her next mission? Return to Top Gun, Face certain death, romantic interests, and finally, her thought-to-be-dead, father.

This book contains strong language and sexual content that may be sensitive readers under the age of 18

This story was originally posted on Wattpad, follow me on there for faster updates. I have published a non-binary version of this story published there for those who do not identify as female or use she/her pronouns. It will follow the exact same story line. Link to Wattpad Account Link to the Non-Binary version

Master list

Blue Suede Shoes

Third person POV

Pete Mitchell walked back into the same screening room he had been in a year ago when he was called to train Top Gun graduates for a mission. He was met by Warlock and Cyclone sitting on the opposite side of the long table.

"Captain Pete Mitchell. We meet again." Cyclone boasted into the empty room.

"Too soon, Admiral." Pete replied, a small hint of a smile on his face.

"As you can probably guess we have another mission that requires your expertise. The enemy has once again dishonored the NATO treaty by building another nuclear bunker. We expect this one started construction a few months before we terminated their previous bunker. The kicker, this time it is under water and heavily guarded by a series of SAM's with a air fleet approximately 7 minutes away from the bunker."

The screen came on, displaying the map of the under water bunker. It was hidden under sediment and plants but it was definitely visible from the top waters.

"We aren't sure yet if we will be able to take our their air fleet with missiles or not. We are attempting to send scout drones but they keep getting shot down. The underwater bunker will be easy to hit with missiles, but getting there-"

"It's going to be a dog fight in and out." Pete finished Cyclones sentence, looking at the overhead map while tapping his finger on his face in thought. "Alright, who's our candidates?" Pete asked.

The screen swapped to show portrait pictures of the flyers. Pete recognized nearly every face and was excited to be reunited with them. One person stuck out to him, a h/c woman with a familiar last name to him, though he shook off the feeling.

Warlock cleared his throat. "As you can see, we have the same crew as before. They're all very eager to work with you again."

"Who's this? This Y/n Blackwood- L/n?" Pete asked.

The room went silent for a moment. Warlock and cyclone looked at each other briefly before warlock continued. "Y/n Blackwood-L/n is an extremely skilled pilot. She graduated at the top of her class and has received training from our most skilled pilots, iceman being one of them."

"Her mother, who's her mother?" Pete has a sinking suspicion as to who it was, though Blackwood could be a common last name, it could be anybody who's child this is. He had mixed feelings, he hoped and dreaded for it to be his long lost love's child.

Warlock and Cyclone exchanged sideways glances, unsure of how they should approach. "Charlotte Blackwood."

Pete felt his heart drop into his stomach. She had a child? Why had she never tried to contact him again after she left? Pete had thought they had something special why would she cut off communication? Y/n had two last names, had she not been married when Charlie had the child?

"Maverick."

Cyclone's voice snapped Pete out of his thoughts. He turned back to the two Admirals with his full attention. "I'm sorry. Um, when do we need to mobilize?"

"We've got about 4 weeks. They're still building parts of the facility but the first shipment is predicted in 6 weeks. Better to be safe than sorry." Warlock explained the time frame.

Pete nodded in response. It should be plenty of time to train these already skilled pilots in dogfighting. "I'll do my best, sir."

"I would hope so. As much as we hate having you here, you are the best."

~~~

Your POV

My car rumbled to a halt in the parking lot of a small bar called The Hard Deck. I turned the engine off and stepped out of the vehicle. I locked my doors and pulled out my phone to check the text message I had gotten earlier that day.

I checked the time, it was right after 7. I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up to see a couple guys pointing and whispering. I gave them a smile and a wave. When I took the mustang anywhere, it was guaranteed men were going to stare and wonder why a woman has a car like that.

I had on my brown pilots uniform that was given to me when I checked into the base. My hair was slicked back into a low bun. I stepped into the bar, it was small and crowded with chandeliers made of ceramic cups on the ceiling. I remember coming here when I was in the Top Gun program but the building looked different, someone else must have bought it.

I looked around for some familiar faces but couldn't locate any. That was, until I saw a group of people around my age, standing around the pool table wearing the same uniform that I had on.

I stopped at the bar, ordered a Michelob Ultra from the brown haired woman behind the bar. "I've not seen you around before." She commented, handing me the cold glass.

"I just Shipped in, I'm here for the naval academy." I explained to her, taking a small sip of the cold beverage.

"Ah, top gun?" She questioned, taking a towel and wiping down some glasses that had just come out of the dishwasher.

I chuckled a bit. "I guess you probably get a lot of us here, don't ya."

The woman chuckled and winked at me before she moved on to the next customer. I noticed the sign behind the bar and raised my eyebrows. Good thing I didn't put my phone down on her bar.

I began to make my way to the pool table, slipping in between people to get by. I noticed another woman with dark hair and a smaller man with a round face on the right side of the table, Hangman and Coyote (who I recognized from my time in top gun) on the right. They looked up as I rounded the corner. The dark haired woman's eyebrows raised in surprise and she nudged the smaller man who then looked up at me.

"Would you look at what the cat dragged in." Hangman's signature smirk was plastered on his face as he leaned against the pool stick that was propped up on the ground.

"The only pussy I see around here is you, Hangman." I sassed back at him, a playful smile lingering on my face. A bunch of 'oh's' came from the other pilots around us.

"It's good to see you too." Hangman paused, looking me up and down as he did so before turning his attention back to the game. "This is Robert and Natasha."

"You can call me phoenix." "And I'm Bob."

I shook both their hands as they introduced themselves by their call-signs. "I'm y/n. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise. What's your call-sign?" Phoenix asked me, taking her shot at the pool balls.

"Wolf."

"I've heard a lot about you, Wolf." I turned around and met two men both of different skin colors. I smiled up at them. They were handsome, kind faces and warm smiles. The navy definitely wasn't running low on eye candy.

"I'm Ruben Fitch, call-sign Payback." "I'm Mickey Garcia. Call-sign Fanboy."

I shook both their hands as they greeted me, a smile on my face. "Y/n Blackwood-L/n, Call-sign Wolf. But apparently you already knew that." I smirked up at fanboy who brought it up earlier.

"What can I say I'm a fan of talent."

"Oh please," Hangman began. "The only talent she has is kissing up to superiors to get back in the program."

"You wouldn't know talent if it hit you in the face. You got lucky I left that year or you wouldn't have been at the top of your class." I aggressively defended myself, taking a long sip of my drink afterwards. The group of pilots that were slowly gathering around snickered at my comments towards him. Hangman rolled his eyes. "That never would have happened. I am the best and I'll always be the best."

Fanboy leaned over my right shoulder form where he stood behind me. "Someone knows how to push Hangman's buttons."

I smile in response to that and lean back to whisper; "I've specialized in that field."

"If you're the best, why didn't you get chosen for our last mission then, eh hangman?" The group turned to see a tall, tan skinned man approaching. He had on a white undershirt and a thin floral button up that was left open. He flashed the group a crooked smile and held out his arms.

"Rooster!" "What's up man!"

"Hey I saved yours and maverick's asses." Hangman replied to rooster with a smile. They met each other with what seemed like joy, clasping hands and pulling each other in a bro hug.

The entire group greeted him one by one, he seemed to be a popular crew member. Normally a man can't pull off just the mustache without looking like a pedophile but Rooster wore it well. His facial features were strong and structured but his personality seemed lovable, caring, and friendly. He greeted his friends with hugs before finally getting to me. He took off his sunglasses, his eyes seemingly lost.

"My name." I tried to guide the star struck man in the right direction with a smirk plastered on my face.

"I'm sorry?" He finally blinked, snapping out of whatever trance he was just in.

"You we're going to ask me my name. It's Blackwood, Y/n Blackwood-L/n. Call-sign Wolf." I held out my hand to him and he took it gently while shaking it. "Bradley Bradshaw. Call-sign Rooster. You said Blackwood, right? As in-"

"As in Charlotte Blackwood? Yes. Although it's L/n now." I finished his sentence for him with a small smile on my face. It was impossible to read what he was thinking. His entire face showed thought, like he didn't know what to think of the person in front of him. That person being me, I wanted to know what he was thinking so hard about.

"I see, it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

It wasn't long until the group slowly grew as more people filed in. Everybody mingled, talked, laughed, it was nice to get to know the people I could potentially be working with. I found myself gravitating towards Phoenix. She was a strong willed woman who wasn't afraid to stand up to all the guys. We were very similar in that sense.

"And when we asked him what his call-sign is, he goes, 'Bob?'." Phoenix and Bob began chuckling to one another. I joined in the laugh.

"Wait so you hadn't been given a call-sign yet? Or even thought to make one up?" I asked Bob who gave me a shake of his head.

"I did make one up I just didn't know you needed a cool one!" Bob put his hands up in surrender while he defended himself. The three of us broke into hard laughter, bending over at the knees.

"Hey, Bob's as cool as any call-sign." Phoenix reassured her friend, clasping him on the shoulder.

Suddenly the music in the bar stopped, the crowed awed at the sudden stop in tunes. "Oh here he goes again." Phoenix chimed in.

I looked to the sound of soft music playing. It was Rooster sitting at the seat of the piano. Phoenix stood up and grabbed my arm to take me with her. "You ever heard 'Great Balls of Fire'?" She asked me as we walked over to the piano.

"Do I know it? I'm surprised you guys do!" I playfully elbowed Phoenix and she smiled at me.

"Well, get ready for this one."

The entire bar erupted into song as Rooster played Great Balls of Fire on the piano. The pilots all gathered around the piano, hanging on each other and singing and laughing. This entire feeling was euphoric. This was a close knit family, it almost felt like attending a family reunion. The entire bar could feel the energy we were putting off because pretty soon everybody started singing it.

I guess the song was more popular than I thought.

The crowd cheered as the song ended. Hangman had returned to our group with a beer in hand for him and a beer in hand for me. He nudged me and gave me a smile, handing me the drink. I took a long drink, about half of the pint before I set the glass down on a nearby table.

"Alright rooster, scoot over." I commanded, bumping into him on the piano's bench. The crowd around us cheered me on in encouragement.

Rooster scooted to the end of the bench but still sat on it. We sat close, no space between us. He smiled down at me before taking a swig from the bottle.

"Take the lead, wolf." He spoke kindly to me. I looked up at him with his sunglasses on the end of his nose. He gave me a playful wink before pushing his sunglasses back up on his face.

I quickly looked down at the keys, thinking about what to play. I put my fingers down on the keys and began to play 'Blue suede shoes' by Elvis Presley.

"Ooo I love this song!" Fanboy chimes out, sitting down next to me as he began to sing the first lines of the song. I was sandwiched between the two singing men on the bench, laughing my head off.

Midnight finally rolled around and it was way past time for the pilots to go to bed. We had to wake up early to be on the base. I walked out to my car, putting my key in the door and twisting it to unlock.

"I was wondering who's car that was." My attention turned to Rooster who stood on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets.

"1968, right?" He asked, stepping off the sidewalk and walking up to my car.

"Yeah, it was my moms. I only drive her on special occasions. Plus I find most people in the military have a thing for classics." I mentally cursed myself for rambling. I felt so nervous now that we were by ourselves. Maybe it was attraction I was feeling, because it wasn't intimidation.

Rooster chuckled and nodded his head. "I've got my dads old Ford." He pointed down the line of cars to the end where a powder blue First-Gen Ford Bronco.

"Are you kidding me? You're disrespecting that bronco by calling it an 'old ford'. I'm disappointed in your Bradshaw."

We shared a laugh as he approached the car to take a look at the interior. He whistled while checking it out. "She's beautiful."

"Thank you."

"I'll have to take a ride sometime." It seemed like he was flirting, looking at me from the corner of his eye while looking into the car.

"Only if I can catch a ride in the bronco."

Rooster laughed and stood straight up. "I think we can manage that."

I thought about tomorrow. Last year they had Maverick train them for the mission. It also wasn't new news that Maverick and Rooster were close. Being his best friends son and partner in life and death. I was so disappointed I didn't get to train under him during flight school. "Hey, do you know if Maverick will be training for this mission? I'm excited to meet him." I asked.

Rooster raised an eyebrow at me and cocked his head. "You haven't met him before? "

"Can't say I've had the pleasure."

He looked me up and down with a confused look on his face, which I returned back to him. What was he looking at? And why was he looking at me like that? Was something wrong?

"We will have to see tomorrow then. Goodnight Wolf."

"Goodnight Rooster."

Next Chapter

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yxamix · 4 months

Text

Introspection

Chapter 0 : Prologue

When do you know it's going too far?

TW : Implied/references of drug use, heavy read, explicit language used

Based in a Modern/Realistic AU, depression/mental health focused storyline.

"Hey Jellal, we were thinking about hitting up that new club that opened up downtown, wanted to ask if you'd come along agai-"

He sighed.

Delete

"Yo bro! There's a sick rave we've all been invited to an-"

He swiped.

Delete

"You know we got some more of that shit and was thinking if you'd-"

He paused to take a pull.

Delete

His vision hazed as he watched the numbers of his inbox. They had accumulated again, just like before. And just like before, the numbers had grown higher.

They always were when he finally got the courage to face them.

How long had it been this time that he hadn't listened to them? A few weeks? No. More than that. A few months then? What was it? Time had become so irrelevant to him nowadays that he could not tell.

But it's not like he wanted to know how long he had been running away either.

Briefly closing his eyes, he lifted the roll up to his lips again. He dragged it on longer this time, feeling his thoughts go blank for a period. The relief it gave him made him unwilling to move from such a state until he had to be released.

Exhaling the built up smoke above him, he felt the remnants burn his eyes a bit. Making it blurrier than it already was. Darker than it already was too.

The sight in front of him was as if it reflected the state of his mind in those few seconds.

Murky.

Vague.

Invasive.

Impermanent.

Until it all dispersed.

And he'd have to take another pull again.

Looking down at the lit screen of his phone, he selected the next message he would listen to. Hoping that reducing those numbers he saw piling up in his inbox would help clear some of his conscience.

But the next one didn't let him relieve himself like that.

"...Jelly?"

It was her again.

"..How are you?"

The woman he didn't want to hear of.

"I tried to call you a few times today but you were busy again."

Because each time he did, she brought it back to him.

"It's okay though, boys your age have a lot going on in their life."

His mistakes.

"You have so many friends now too, and I don't want to keep you from having a good time with them."

His misguidance.

"But I'm just not used to you having moved out yet."

"I don't know if I ever will be."

His melancholy.

"I know you get tired of hearing it, but you're my baby boy Jelly. I just worry about you so much."

Everything he wanted to ignore.

"I'm sorry I call you so much, it's getting annoying isn't it? I'm sorry. I know you're grown up now and you don't have much time but please do call back."

"Please don't forget us even though you're going more into the world now."

"Me, Siegie and even your Papa, we all want to hear from you I promise."

"Take care of yourself Jelly and always remember we all love you."

"I love yo-"

Delete

He swallowed.

Another voicemail from his mother. One of these was sprinkled amongst every handful of messages he went through in his inbox. Her soft and honest voice never stopped tormenting him each time he heard it. The pain woven in her voice couldn't hide, no matter how hard she tried to conceal it.

It always came through regardless.

She was a bad liar.

Just like him.

But he wasn't going to expose his lies to her anytime soon.

Stretching against the suede material of the sofa he had crashed on, he wondered to himself just like any other time, why did he do this?

Why was he heartless enough to ignore her and her every desperate attempt to reach out to him, yet not heartless enough to not feel guilt and heaviness with each word she left for him in her messages that would only ever be dismissed?

He probably wouldn't ever be.

He wasn't like that.

But it's times like this he wished was.

Then it would be easier for both of them.

Reaching over to the glass table beside him, he grabbed a hold of the can of beer he had been sipping from every now and then. He didn't know why he did that either. The taste of beer wasn't something he found pleasant yet he kept taking modest sips of it anyway.

Perhaps because the burn it created in his throat felt deserved and that's why?

Really that's what his life was now.

Doing things without ever really knowing the reason why.

But then again, maybe that's how it had always been?

And it just took nights like this to realise.

He cleared his throat from the burn of booze passing down before taking another hit. As his brain clouded up whilst the smoke was inhaled, he felt himself instantly shift from his heaviness holding him down, to a state that allowed him to continue with his outstanding messages.

"Jellal bro! We're all going out and-"

Delete

"Heyyyy Jellaaal! Do you wanna-"

Delete

When listening to the current voicemails, his finger instinctively trashed them by a few words in. He didn't need to lie to himself now, he didn't really care about the contents of these messages at all.

The only reason he would listen to them for that split second, is with the hope it would relieve some of the burden those rising numbers impressed on him.

To be able to say that he at least did that if nothing more.

It was selfish and it was deceptive, but he wanted to get this tedious cleans over and done with soon.

It wouldn't be truthful, but at this point, what about him was?

He kept going through his inbox absent-mindedly until a change in tone caught his attention and forced him to listen and be present.

"Mr Fernandes, you missed your appointment on the 10th, we are calling to know if you'd like to reschedule with-"

Delete

Ah.

"Mr Fernandes we called up before to inform you of a missed appointment on the-"

Delete

That was right.

There were a number of appointments he had been missing for a while now too. And for some reason he didn't want to follow up on them, when truthfully that would have been the wiser thing.

But it's ever since the diagnosis was made, the help he should have been going for, he soon started to avoid.

And he started to look towards other places for alternatives.

Resolutions.

Which would work for some time.

Until they wouldn't.

And ruined him more in return too.

"Mr Fernandes your prescription has been ready to pick up for 3 months now-"

Delete

Taking another puff, he watched the dirty white glow transiently before his eyes lazily threw a glance at his said 'alternatives'.

On the littered glass table beside him was the evidence of his spiraling.

Things he would have never seen himself using, things he never thought he would be abusing, but it was there by no mistake. In front of him in plain sight. Cartons, bottles and pouches. Empty or becoming empty during another one of these nights that refused to move to the next day.

Life would be going so fast until it would stop.

And when it did, that's when he found himself like this again.

Trying to make it move again.

But regardless, the passing of time never stopped being painful.

Using the back of his hand which he held his cigarette with, he rubbed the side of his eyes, hoping sleep would come to him anytime now. And stop his under eye bags and dark circles from getting more obvious than they already were.

Another sigh fell from his throat as he looked at the dark room around him, wondering how long it would be until the light would hit again. The time lit on his phone told him there were still hours ahead until sunrise. On top of that it was winter too, so the wait would undoubtedly be long.

Trying to pass the time yet again, he went back to going through his inbox. There were a few more reminders from the doctor mixed in with some invites from his friend, and on top of that like he already expected, another few voicemails from mom.

"Jelly hi! It's mama again-"

Delete

"Oh! I actually wanted to quickly ask-"

Delete

"And then I also forgot to tell you-"

Delete

This time he couldn't stand being tortured.

Just hearing the return of her voice had him instinctively trashing them.

The fact she would send so many at once, he could tell why. Hoping that he'd see at least one of them out of the many she piled up, hoping that one of them would catch his attention.

Since he wasn't picking up her calls anymore and calls from himself were once in a blue moon, she resorted to the next best thing.

Sending conversations in hope one of them he'd respond to.

But all she did was talk to herself.

He hated it.

She gave so much effort towards a son that couldn't give her any.

Every time it got harder to.

That's why it was easier to hide away.

But either way that never stopped her.

And only made him spurn more too.

His fingers shook slightly as he held the phone, trying to clear all the messages with her name over them. At times his thumb slipped and it would start her voice, causing his heart to writhe with that deep seated pain from listening to her again, and he'd silence her immediately.

He kept doing that until her name was cleared from what he could see of his screen now. There was no doubt in his mind that he would find more from her if he just scrolled further up, but for now as long as he didn't see that name, it would be better.

As he cleared up his inbox, there were a few other names he came across which he hadn't really heard of in ages now. And these names were mixed with those that tried to replace them.

"Hey Jellal?"

He paused.

"What's up man? It's been so long, oh my god."

Stunned from hearing a voice he didn't really expect to hear again.

"We need to meet up again bro, ever since you went off and did your own thing you barely remember us lot."

From being reminded of a connection that was so different to what he lived by now.

"Call up when you get this alright?

"Honestly bro I wanna see you."

From being reminded of what he had.

"We need to hang out like old times."

And what he was losing.

"I hope you're not just forgetting the past now that you're going places."

Erik still wanted to check up on him, it was surprising.

It had been years now since they had gone their separate ways, and he didn't really think about him as much as he should have for someone he grew up with.

He didn't know why either.

His heart was touched by the fact that his old friend reached out to him after so long, but the warmth was quickly lost as guilt took over and writhed in him further when he remembered Erik was barely a passing thought to him in these current times.

Some part of him wondered if it was mom that told Erik to try and call up on him, he wouldn't have put that past her as if he wasn't answering her, she might have thought that he'd answer to someone else.

But such a thought felt cruel.

As Erik didn't dislike him, he never did. He would have done something like this on his own incentive, he shouldn't have discredited him like that.

The two of them grew up together, were like brothers all the way up until they couldn't take the same path anymore. Practically inseparable until the distance grew and life went on for the both of them. And he never went to close it between them.

Erik…He was a good friend.

He however…

He wasn't.

Delete

Not anymore.

He deeply inhaled, trying to relieve the heaviness that he wasn't prepared for.

Looking over at the cigarette he had been taking his hits from, to his dismay it was reaching the end of it's life. Sighing he took the last pull that was possible so he could savor the bitterness once more before smashing the remnants on the glass table beside him, snuffing out the fire and glow.

He wondered…

Should he reach for another one since this one was finished?

He bounced the thought around in what was left of his head until ultimately deciding against it. Though it was tempting, he couldn't be throwing his health away more than he already was.

Barely in his mid twenties and God only knew what problems were underlying in him from these new habits.

With his (now) free arm he brought it over, using it as a support for the back of his head as he moved about a bit to get comfortable again. It was something he had to do every now and then since sinking into the suede of the sofa didn't remain as pleasant when he had been like that for hours.

After that readjustment, he went back to going through the list of names and numbers, being greeted by those he knew were coming again, making the act of committing to his cleanse for his conscience easier until he got some other messages that had him pausing again.

"Hey babeee, want to-"

There was no need to listen to the rest of that message to know what would follow. And honestly there was only one reason he kept connections like that, but if he had to be frank, in recent times he had barely been interested in that too.

Sex was once intimate.

A pleasure.

Now, regardless of what angle he looked at it from...

It was a chore.

The effort needed to pick someone up, to act in a certain way to try and get something going…

It got tedious .

Sometimes he wanted it. Sometimes it made the nights pass. But other times it made him feel trapped. And tonight was one of those times.

It had been like this for some time too.

Having the option was good.

But he wasn't looking to indulge in it now.

He didn't know when he would again.

Delete

Since his mouth had it's fill of tobacco for the night, he wanted something else to accompany that harsh taste. Unfolding his arm he had used as the support for the back of his head, he reached over to take a few more sips from the open can beside him.

Though the taste was bitter and scalding, he hoped that whatever was left inside could help his eyes close quicker.

It was getting heavier with each sip, so perhaps it was working.

But still he was too present for his liking.

As the burn settled in his throat from his latest sip, he commenced going through the outstanding message. Again, a mixture of new names, names that only called him or he only called when something was wanted, and then the name he wanted to avoid.

At some point his vision started to fade as he kept looking on; whilst listening to the snippets of messages that were deleted without him needing to see. It felt like he would finally give into the darkness, but that's when he heard a voice that stole him straight from it's longed embrace.

"Hey….Jellal?"

His features twitched, unsure of who's voice he heard.

"It's me."

But hearing what they said next confirmed what his brain already started to connect.

"I know we haven't spoken in some time and things didn't end well between us but…"

It was her.

"I've been worried about you."

Another person he didn't think to hear from.

"I'm glad you didn't block me, I really wanted to talk to you but I didn't know how to come about with it until now."

Another person he wished to avoid.

"Call me back when you hear this, okay?"

His eyes blinked open, slowly seeing her name fill his vision and he just stared at it, not knowing what to do.

Erza.

She was the last person he expected to want anything to do with him with how it ended up between them. She wasn't happy with him, they both knew that, so what was making her come back?

The last he had heard about her, she had a new boyfriend. Someone more considerate, someone better suited and overall better for her. Someone who wasn't problematic nor felt unnatural. Someone that would make her happy, unlike him.

And he was happy for her, he truly was.

But why was she trying to talk to him now?

His thumb hovered over her name, shocked still that it would exist again in his recent contacts with all that happened between them. Their ending wasn't as explosive as it could be, but neither was it sweet either.

A sudden death was what it really felt like, or perhaps what had been between them had already been dying before that, and she just made him realise it.

Either way it wasn't going to work out between them like that and he came to accept that.

She wanted things that he couldn't give her.

She dreamed of things between them that he could barely see.

She wanted someone from him that he couldn't be.

Lingering feelings weren't enough to save what was between them.

But he wasn't bitter, she deserved better.

He came to peace with that decision.

And he believed she did too.

So why was it that she wanted to talk to him again?

Shouldn't he have been a closed chapter in her book by now?

Ghosting over her name with his thumb, he briefly contemplated what he should do. And before he knew it, her name also suffered the same fate as all the others he had gone through.

Delete

The weight felt like it increased in his heart, deeper than he thought it would, and adding on to the gaping hole he could feel tearing into him more. Some part of him wanted to look at that name just a little longer, try and build on that hope he killed.

But it was dangerous.

And he didn't want to drag her down again.

He couldn't deny, it was sweet that she was worried about him. It was sweet that she even gave him any thought at all after all these months when things became sour. But really, someone like her shouldn't have been concerned with the likes of him.

They were from two different worlds, and the boundaries couldn't be blurred like they believed they could.

People talked.

The world talked.

It didn't consist of just the two of them.

Everything that happened between them, someone else had a second opinion to say.

And at some point it couldn't be ignored.

He didn't blame her though. The world's judgment would be and was definitely more sound than his own. And ultimately he did want what was best for her, even if it wasn't himself.

And he knew it wasn't himself.

Even if she wanted to believe otherwise.

Scrolling through his remaining list of names and numbers he looked to see if her name existed anywhere else. It wasn't the case. But fact brought conflict to his heart.

He didn't wish to ponder on it so he went on to the other names yet to filter through to distract himself. As he was doing that though, there was a change in the usual tone he would open his messages to.

"Oi why aren't you picking up your phone anymore?"

"Always ghostin now and shit."

"Do you want us to beg to bring you out or somethin?"

"If you wanna be a little bitch about it, suit yourself."

A hostility he didn't expect.

And going through the chain of messages from his new friends, he found a lot of them adopted the same tone too.

"Why the fuck you always hiding now?"

"You're meant to be part of the group but you're acting like a right pussy."

"Stop being a fucking attention whore, the world can't revolve around you. We all have lives of our own you know?"

"Are we supposed to drop everything for you and wait at your feet?"

"Inconsiderate cunt."

But he couldn't say that he was completely surprised.

Delete

The new group of people he hung out with, he learned they weren't the nicest. A lot of them didn't hold back the sharpness of their tongues either. They were mean, judgmental, self-absorbed and shallow. Not the sort of people you'd call friends proudly.

And to be honest, he didn't know why he had.

At first he believed them to be alike. Lost souls though hurt and troubled by the world around them, finding distraction and comfort in what could take the pain away. While those words were not a lie, just because there was common ground like that, it didn't mean they understood each other.

Or that they even wanted to begin to.

Just because all of you were in a hard place, didn't mean that the support needed would be automatically created.

The world wasn't like that.

Misery loves it's company.

He had every reason to leave, he knew what they were doing to him.

What he was doing to himself.

Yet…

Somehow…

He remained put.

Because perhaps their thinly veiled cruelty resonated with himself. Their self absorption reminded him of his own. Their suffering reminded him of his own. And their self destruction was like his own too.

He lost his feeling of belonging in the world.

And through them, he thought he would find it.

It was wrong.

But he had gone so under he didn't have the strength to wander once more.

Yet with what he could hear in the voice of his false comfort, they would drop him soon. He would be homeless again. A vagrant again. And there would be no one but himself to blame for it.

His vision had become blurred again at some point in time. From listening to the sharp but truthful voices telling him what he already knew. From listening to that which he tried to hide in. From listening to those he tried to hide from until, eventually, a new voice spoke back to him.

"Oi you traitor."

One that was like his own.

"Can't believe you move out and don't even think to contact the single most important guy in your life once."

"That's considered an unforgivable treason in my books, but since it's been some time I'll allow it."

Even though the sides of his face had become wet, he couldn't help the small smile that had cracked at the dramaticness of the obnoxious voicemail. Of course, the first he would hear of his brother again would be through words like that.

But his smile didn't last long when Siegrain's tone also changed to everyone else's.

"No but seriously idiot, have you forgotten us or something? You can't have. That isn't like you."

And even he was questioning him.

"I know things were tense between you and our old man before you left and you don't wanna talk to him. And to be honest I don't blame you, he's always been hard to talk to, you leaving didn't make it any easier."

"But like, that's him."

"What have I done?"

And he too was asking things he didn't have the answers to.

"And Mom?"

"What did she do?"

Or that he was too ashamed to say.

The fact that his overly carefree twin was also getting involved told him how far he was going. And it's not like he didn't know it, he did. He wasn't ignorant of the damage he was doing by any means. But even so, he couldn't stop himself.

He didn't know why, he just couldn't.

"Do you know how much she speaks about you?"

Given how things had become at the household, he didn't think his name would be something she mentioned so openly with all the tension that it would stir up.

But Mom wasn't like how Grandma or Grandad were to his father. Even if he was becoming a lost cause, she wouldn't just act like he was dead like they did to Dad.

She wouldn't act like he did the biggest sin against them.

But now he wished she did.

It would have been better for her if she had.

What did she seek to accomplish by doing such things?

Thinking about it, he wondered if Sieg calling him was another thinly veiled desperation of their Mom trying to reach him. If she nor Erik worked, was it that she resorted to Sieg next?

But before he could chase that thought, his brother quickly disproved that notion with what he said next.

"And before you even begin to think about it."

As if he could tell where his train of thought was going.

"She didn't tell me to call you up."

Was it that transparent now?

"...Okay well she did, but like I did this on my own initiative. You're not the only one with your own life, I've been busy with my own shit and I couldn't find the time."

"But like, why wouldn't I do this? It's not like you're a stranger or someone I don't care about. You're my brother. And like, I realised how quiet it's been since you left. Even more than before."

"Even Erik told me the other day that he hadn't heard from you much since you left and that's when I knew something was up."

"I can understand you ignoring me, like I'm that annoying shithead little brother who gave you more reasons then one to leave on the side for adoption if you could. But Erik? Your best friend since like the time you guys could talk?"

"And Mom too? The woman who has been nothing but good and loving to us. To YOU. The one that's always been there for you before anyone, even me."

"This doesn't make sense."

He was right.

"This isn't like you Jellal."

It wasn't.

"I don't know why you're acting as if it is."

He didn't know either.

But he couldn't tell him that.

"You know someone from our highschool also called up the other day? Asked how you were doing. If you were doing any better. I forgot the dude's name, but I remember it having like Mac in it and it sounded like a book we studied in English."

"Anyway Mac, he didn't have your personal number so I guess he called us up with what you gave him before. Mom told him you moved out anyway though, and she gave him your new number but she told him you don't pick up much since you're so busy."

"I don't know what happened after that. But either that probably didn't go ahead with it or maybe he did and you never heard it yet."

He couldn't answer that for himself either.

Macbeth was concerned about him too? That was surprising. It made him wonder why when the two of them only spend sparse moments together when in high school. Really he had only spoken to the guy before exams or something revolving class since they both were performing similarly.

Once again the sentiment was sweet, but it's pleasant feeling didn't last long as he couldn't even tell if he had ever seen Macbeth's call. Did it ever come through or was it another he mindlessly dismissed and deleted during one of these cleansing sessions.

He didn't know.

But he didn't have time to try and recall an answer as Sieg went on to bring him out of that spell of self-loathing.

"Whatever the case is, people are asking Jellal. People know something's up and they've known for some time now. It's not just Mom, it's not just me. Erik and even old friends are asking about you."

"Why do you keep ignoring everything?"

Yet again something he couldn't answer readily.

But what Sieg said next only brought back the spell of self loathing he saved him from.

One that was more raw and bitter than any other and he hated to face.

"I shouldn't need to tell you all of this. You should know this on your own and honestly you probably do."

"I don't get it."

"You've always been the considerate one. The responsible one. You've always been the perfect one. The one Mom and Dad were proud of most. The one that people liked the most."

"What's happened?"

"It doesn't make sense to me!"

"Like what you're doing is meant to be me! I'm the troublesome little shit that's meant to get Mom and Dad's hairs graying early. Not you."

"You can't take my place like that."

Sieg was trying to be light hearted, but hearing those words had his teeth grating in his mouth. The tension rose in his body without warning from listening to those labels that he couldn't understand anymore. They didn't resonate with him nor did they mean anything now and hearing them was almost a form of mockery.

The bitterness spiked so sharply that he almost cut the voicemail short, but the subject changed again which gave him the shift he needed to listen on.

"Talk to us Jellal."

"Please."

"Whatever you're going through, tell us."

"Tell me."

"I swear, even with as much of an ass I can be, I'll listen.

"I swear Jellal."

"You know what happened to Dad and his brother. Fuck, his whole family. You know what happened to them. I don't want us to be like that."

"With the way things are going it's looking like that, and I don't want it to."

That comparison Sieg made wasn't one that was new to him. It troubled his own mind more often than not. How their dad and his own brothers became estranged, even before Dad was sent to prison.

How one of his uncles became a drug addict during his own youth and becoming a highschool dropout followed not long after. Then on top of all that, kicked out for failing his second chance and becoming dead to the family for years.

Their dad suffered an even crueler fate than that.

And their family was still paying for it.

"I'm sure you don't want it like that either."

He agreed with his brother's words. Never did he want their family to become so pulled apart that it created the same bitterness left in Dad's own. That couldn't even heal after the wounds were long closed.

He never wished for the past to repeat itself.

But he didn't know why he wasn't able to stop it.

He had done everything just so the pain would stop.

So the family would be happy.

But somewhere that intention had inverted.

His actions didn't match up to them anymore.

And he didn't know why.

"So stop all of this!"

"I don't care, you better call me back or I will find you myself and I'll make you talk to me."

"Don't doubt my ability to do that!"

"And for God's sake, talk to Mom already!"

That was the last of Sieg's voice in the message. He stared at the voicemail that had come to it's send, unable to decide what to do with it. Not because of the threats at the end, but his brother had him feeling conflicted again.

Even more than before.

There was something strangely cruel in hearing Sieg's voice compared to anyone else. Perhaps because it was as if his own voice was speaking to him, telling him what he knew deep down and bringing it out into the open where he didn't want it. And Sieg knew more than anyone else, he knew how to say things where they would hit.

He didn't make waste of that in his attempt to reach out.

His thumb hovered over his name just like it did with anyone else's before. But for some reason, this time he found himself unable to commit to his will to be ignorant. Something stopped him from pretending Sieg's message never existed.

He couldn't tell why.

But it felt a graver sin to do the same to him that he had done to everyone else.

So he didn't.

Instead he went to the next message above his, trying to wash his mind of his brother's words, hoping he would go back into that state of ignorance. But without realising who the next message was, he was greeted by another voice that was one he definitely didn't want to hear.

" Jellal."

Because it was one that spoke to him more directly then Sieg ever did.

"I know you don't wish to speak to me, and I will not ask you to."

"But since it's nearly been a year since you moved out, I wanted to ask you."

"Are you happy with your decision?"

"Do you feel liberated now?"

"You said you didn't feel home here, then have you found your home now?"

It was impossible to tell with what intention those words were asked to him with. Was it in mockery? Was it in anger? Was it in sincerity? Or was it the same as him? Asking an answer for the sake of it.

Dad's voice was emotionless as ever. Calm as ever. He couldn't understand his emotions just like he couldn't with his. But somehow, even with this disconnect between them, their father always could say something that struck straight on the target. Even now with these questions he posed out of nowhere, he couldn't help but feel caught.

Because some part of him believed Dad knew the answers to those questions he asked even before he did.

And with what he said next confirmed it.

"You don't need to tell me that answer, that's for you to contemplate and to come to an understanding of."

"Also contact your mother, have whatever issue you want with me, but don't make her suffer for it."

"And one more thing."

"Don't think hiding away is going to solve any of your problems."

If there was anything that left him speechless from what his dad said, it was those last words. He felt himself shake from how direct that comment was, he had seen right through him.

And now that father's voice came to cease, just like with the others, he found himself staring at his name, watching it taunt him on the dimly lit screen, forcing him to comprehend that which he didn't want to.

He just sat there in silence, shuddering and listening to his father's last words echo in his brain. He wanted that voice of his to shut up, he wanted to stop hearing that ridicule, he wanted to stop hearing that clear cut truth.

Wanting to be rid of that taunt, he went on to try and listen to the next messages that were left, in hope they would cleanse his father's message.

Cleanse the emotions he left stirring in him.

But no.

"Jellal please talk to me."

Delete

The next messages only added on.

"W-What have I done wrong?"

"P-Please tell me s-so I-I can fix it-"

Delete

"Pleas-"

Delete

"I-I want to be a good mom."

Delete

"J-Just please let me k-know and i'll be-"

Delete

"I-I'm so sorry-"

Delete

"I-I don't know what I did wrong-"

Delete

"P-Please J-Jellal!"

Delete

At some point he couldn't even tell what he was pressing anymore. Her voice became all he heard.

Out of all the messages he skimmed through, he never failed to single in on the increasing pain that grew with each message he deleted.

Running away could only do him so much, his father was right, but his sins were too heavy to face. Each broken word and bout of desperation he pushed her towards and for what, the scales got heavier.

There was nothing stopping him answering her or anyone, not even pride. What was there to be proud of in a state like this?

Yet why did the only answer he turned to was to keep quiet?

And how long would he be able to?

It couldn't go on like this.

Using the inner palm of his hand he wiped the sides of his eyes, feeling the rawness of his skin itch from the touch. He sighed to himself quietly, allowing for once a sob to break through from his throat as the phone shook from his hand and the first reply he could muster left him in a whisper.

"I'm sorry.."

As the words left him in confession all he could wonder was…

How had it all…

…Come to this?

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