#Super Sucker Machine

[supertechengineer]

How does a Super Sucker Machine Work?

Introduction

In the realm of industrial cleaning, efficiency and effectiveness are paramount. To meet these demands, the Super Sucker Machine has emerged as a game-changer. This powerful and versatile equipment has revolutionized the way industries tackle cleaning and maintenance tasks. In this article, we will explore the capabilities, applications, and benefits of the Super Sucker Machine, shedding light on its role in enhancing productivity and ensuring a cleaner and safer work environment.

1. The Power of Suction

The Super Sucker Machine derives its name from its exceptional suction power. Equipped with a robust vacuum system, it can generate immense negative pressure to extract various types of materials, liquids, and debris. Its wide-ranging suction capabilities make it a versatile asset in industries spanning manufacturing, construction, mining, and more. With the ability to handle both solid and liquid waste, the Super Sucker Machine offers a comprehensive cleaning solution.

2. Applications and Use Cases

a) Industrial Waste Management

One of the primary applications of the Super Sucker Machine is industrial waste management. It excels at removing hazardous materials, such as sludge, chemicals, and toxic substances, from tanks, pits, and storage facilities. Its powerful suction ensures thorough cleaning, reducing the risk of contamination and improving workplace safety. Moreover, the Super Sucker Machine can be utilized for the collection and disposal of solid waste, preventing environmental pollution and promoting sustainability.

b) Sewer and Drain Cleaning

Blocked sewers and drains can cause significant disruptions and health hazards. The Super Sucker Machine offers an effective solution for clearing these blockages. With its high-powered suction, it can remove stubborn obstructions, including debris, grease, and sediment, restoring optimal flow. By eliminating clogs, the machine prevents potential flooding and minimizes the risk of structural damage to underground infrastructure.

c) Spill Response and Cleanup

When spills occur in industrial settings, rapid response and containment are crucial. The Super Sucker Machine plays a vital role in spill response and cleanup operations. Its ability to swiftly and efficiently extract liquids, such as oil, chemicals, and hazardous substances, aids in mitigating the environmental impact. By preventing the spread of pollutants, the machine assists in safeguarding ecosystems and minimizing the financial and legal consequences associated with spills.

d) Construction and Mining Sites

Construction and mining sites often face the challenge of managing large volumes of waste material and debris. The Super Sucker Machine proves invaluable in these environments, facilitating the removal of construction waste, slurry, and other byproducts. Its powerful suction enables quick and thorough cleaning, enhancing productivity and maintaining a safe working environment.

3. Advantages and Benefits

a) Time and Cost Efficiency

The Super Sucker Machine offers significant time and cost savings compared to traditional cleaning methods. Its powerful suction capability enables swift cleaning, reducing downtime and enhancing operational efficiency. By eliminating the need for manual labor-intensive cleaning, it frees up resources and allows personnel to focus on other critical tasks. Additionally, its versatility across multiple applications makes it a cost-effective investment that delivers long-term value.

b) Enhanced Safety and Compliance

Maintaining a safe work environment is of utmost importance in any industry. The Super Sucker Machine plays a pivotal role in promoting workplace safety and compliance. By effectively removing hazardous waste and minimizing the risk of spills and contamination, it reduces the potential for accidents and health hazards. Moreover, it aids businesses in meeting regulatory requirements and ensures adherence to environmental standards. By utilizing the Super Sucker Machine, companies demonstrate their commitment to employee well-being and responsible waste management practices.

c) Versatility and Adaptability

The Super Sucker Machine's versatility is a key advantage. It can be customized and equipped with various attachments and accessories to cater to specific cleaning requirements. Whether it's cleaning underground storage tanks, removing sludge from industrial ponds, or maintaining oil and gas pipelines, the machine can be tailored to suit diverse applications. This adaptability makes it a valuable asset across a wide range of industries.

d) Environmental Sustainability

In today's world, sustainability is a crucial consideration for businesses. The Super Sucker Machine contributes to environmental sustainability by effectively managing waste and minimizing its impact. By efficiently collecting and disposing of hazardous materials and pollutants, it helps prevent soil and water contamination. Additionally, the machine can be used for recycling and reusing collected materials, promoting a circular economy and reducing overall waste generation.

Conclusion

The Super Sucker Machine has revolutionized industrial cleaning by providing unmatched suction power and versatility. From managing industrial waste and cleaning sewers to responding to spills and maintaining construction sites, this equipment offers a comprehensive solution for a wide range of cleaning needs. Its advantages, including time and cost efficiency, enhanced safety, adaptability, and environmental sustainability, make it a valuable asset for industries worldwide. By harnessing the power of the Super Sucker Machine, businesses can achieve higher productivity, improved safety standards, and a cleaner, greener future.

[roygbivvie]

-TF2 MERC KINKY HEADCANNONS-

*This is like my first time writing anything on here so have mercy on my mortal soul*

Nsfw warning obvi, so 18+..but also it gets pretty damn kinky in here so beware.

- [x] Spy

Spy in my mind is absolutely a switch. He absolutely has a daddy kink and a knife kink, but he also wants more than anything for someone (scouts mom) (or you ;0) to yank him down by his tie and force him to his knees. He likes surprises. These can be sexual in nature or not. I feel he would also like blindfolds regardless of who’s wearing it. covers your eyes and says “guess who” ass motherfucker. He’d growl too i think.

- [x] Sniper

many thoughts are to be had about this man in particular. For starters, by no means am i one to kink shame. My blog would be more of a testament to that if my likes were public. However, i simply do not think he has a piss kink. I think he puts absolutely no thought into pissing in jars besides the fact that it’s purposefully insulting to his targets in game. With that out of the way, his kinks. Do i even need to say primal kink? This fella read most dangerous game and thought: damn.. that’s kinda sexy. He wants to set you loose in the woods and track you down to fuck you. he wants it outside. he wants it dirty, sweaty, covered in blood and mud. He wants it animal style but literally. Aside from primal stuff, he loooves roadhead and hitting that thang from the back.

- [x] Scout

Now scout is a tricky one. Unlike basically all of the other mercs, i don’t think he’s super kinky. Here’s some thoughts anyways. He’d definitely start out kinda preformatively domineering, but the man has no ability to bluff. he’d ask constantly if he’s doing ok / if there’s something you want him to do. He is an absolute sucker for any praise. Compliment him on literally anything, and he’ll be a puddle in your lap.

- [x] Pyro

The mask STAYS. ON. during sex. The only way i could see them removing it is if they first blindfolded you. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just refuse for absolutely anyone to see them. So i hope you have a mask kink, because they’ve certainly developed one. Other kinks they may have would be sensory play. I’m talkin hot wax, ice, feathers, incense, maybe even needles. basically the whole shebang. Pyro also has a love for fantasy, and i feel like Ovipositors would lend quite well to that. They probably have quite the extensive bad dragon collection.

- [x] Engineer

He absolutely makes you toys.. and them suckers are POWERFUL. He’d absolutely make a fuck machine, or several. I think he’s extra into having anything you use to get off be made by him. He’s mega into overstimulating you. He likes to watch his handiwork absolutely wreck you over and over. He may even want others to watch too. I think he’d have a size kink whether you’re bigger or smaller than him, I just think he’d like the difference.

- [x] Demo

I think he likes cuddlefucking and somnophilia. Nothin sobers him up faster than waking up to head. Now when he gets in the mood for it, it’s degradation BIG time. like so bad that he probably feels he has to apologize afterwards.

He also likes to spit on you. Also i don’t know how it would work, but there’s potential kink-ery with that ghost eye of his. I don’t know how, but the potential is there.

- [x] Medic

Oh boy this freak..

Did someone say knife kink? yea. yeaaaaah. And it’s pretty extreme. He’s not just threatening you, he’ll really do it. He likes to keep you strapped to a medical bed n shit too. I think he’d like to spoon-feed people. He gets off on giving you sugar pills to make you “feel better” wait.. were those really sugar pills? fuck. You’ll wake up sore with maybe an organ or two missing, but that’s the price to pay for those big sexy jugs he’s got. Don’t worry he’s a master at aftercare.

- [x] Heavy

Size kink outta the way, I think Heavy is into Dollification. He wants to take care of you, dress you in frilly outfits, and keep you on a shelf like a little collectible next to Sasha. He might even share you with medic.. take you in to get “fixed” if he ever brakes you..

……….. fleshlight position 0////0

- [x] Soldier

WAM!!! (wet and messy) for sure. I mean the honey in the comics certainly did something for him. wearing red, white, and blue? you won’t be wearing anything in no time. I feel like degradation is also a certain for him. Don’t tell anyone but he secretly wants you to put him in his place .. he definitely doesn’t want more than anything to follow someone’s orders..

[sminiac]

p1harmony as classmates who have a crush on you?

⋆ Y. Keeho

Keeho isn’t direct or loud about having a crush on you at all, especially if you aren’t already friends. I’d say he’s the type of person that puts in the effort to make it seem like he doesn’t even like you in general, let alone a crush, but it’s all an illusion so both you and everyone else will be completely thrown off track. He doesn’t want to be peer pressured, or rushed into something super serious, so he’ll start dropping the tiniest hints here and there, slowly building himself- as well as your friendship up before he even thinks about confessing. He’d start by simply saying hi, and good morning to you everyday, the more you start interacting with each other the more he wants to see you. Invites you to any of his important events, also frequently asks “Where’s Y/n?” Whenever you aren’t present at any hangouts.

Reminder of members under the cut!

⋆ C. Taeyang

Unlike Keeho, Theo doesn’t feel the need to completely hide his budding feelings for you, he’s just so comfortable around you that he’s quite open about his interest in you. He isn’t overbearing or overly shy, but the quick compliments he gives you at random are quite dizzying, sometimes you have to take some time to regain balance because of some of the things he says and does, they aren’t promiscuous or inappropriate in the slightest, you just don’t expect to be told that he likes every slight change to your appearance everyday from him of all people, or the way he lightly drags a hand at your waist when he abruptly stops to tell you.

⋆ C. Jiung

He’s very protective of you right from the beginning, especially if you’re younger than him— like, borderline territorial. You’re needing any kind of help with your work? Don’t even bother asking around for someone that’s available, because he’s right in front of you, look no further! Even if you’re in different classes he’s the kind of guy to go out of his way to help you out, and for the most part it’s an excuse to see you, of course, but his little crush starts becoming more apparent when he’s coming to find you every lunch break, taking you from class so you can eat together somewhere more (private) comfortable, even bringing you small snacks and drinks here and there as a surprise.

⋆ H. Intak

Uses his familiarity with sports to his advantage, what does this imply? Well, that he’s showing off whenever you’re in the same vicinity as him of course. You’re sitting at your desk, minding your own business and here’s Intak, juggling a soccer ball inside of the classroom. Fools around a lot just to get your attention, but at the same times he’s easily flustered when you’re actually watching whatever it is he’s doing, which— eventually he somehow ends up embarrassing himself, like he loses control of the ball from his nerves, resulting in him accidentally kicking it straight at your face. The apologies would be profuse, but you’d most likely sucker his school practice jersey from him in result of his stupidity, and a few vending machine runs together in return as a way for him to make it up to you ;3

⋆ H. Shota

Oh my gosh, the cutest thing ever. It’s the kind of situation where he knows he has a crush on you, you know he has a crush on you, and so does everybody else! Soul himself doesn’t think that he’s entirely loud or vocal about it, but he does go out of his way to include you in conversations, also says things that he knows will make you laugh, or does things he knows you find cool. Typically offers to do class chores/tasks with you, will whisper an answer to you if you’re struggling, always asks you first if there’s a buddy system being used for a project, you’re just his person for everything!

⋆ K. Jongseob

Teasing, love love loves teasing you and making you feel all hot in the face, or when he’s successfully made you nervous by whatever it is he’s doing, it’s even better when you start gaining the confidence to do it back. Will make eye contact with you even if you’re on the other side of the classroom just because he likes seeing how easily distracted you become by him, enjoys it even more if you start squirming . I know a lot of people would assume that bro has no game but he has game !!! I feel it in my bones, he knows something! He’s so “Yeah Y/n, pay attention.” Whenever you’re being called out for not facing the teacher, I also know some will find it corny but I live for this shit! He’s so school crush to me.

ᰔ sminiac’s P1Harmony M.list

[mostlysignssomeportents]

You can’t shop your way out of a monopoly

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then SAN FRANCISCO (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

If you're running a business, you can either invest at being good at your business, or good at Google SEO. Choose the former and your customers will love you – but they won't be able to find you, thanks to the people who choose the latter. And if you're going to invest in top-notch SEO, why bother investing in quality at all?

For more than a decade, Google has promised that it would do something about "lead gens" – services that spoof Google into thinking that they are local businesses, pushing down legit firms on both regular search and Google Maps (these downranked businesses invested in quality, not SEO, remember). Search for a roofer, a plumber, an electrician, or a locksmith (especially a locksmith), and most or all of the results will be lead-gens. They'll take your call, pretend to be a local business, and then call up some half-qualified bozo to come out and charge you four times the going rate for substandard work:

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/31/business/fake-online-locksmiths-may-be-out-to-pick-your-pocket-too.html

Some of them just take your money and they "go back to the shop for a tool" and never return:

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/when-a-fake-business-used-a-real-st-louis-address-things-got-weird-32087998

Google has been promising to fix this since the late aughts, and to be fair, it's a little better. There was once a time when a map of Manhattan showed more locksmiths than taxis:

https://blumenthals.com/blog/2009/02/18/google-maps-proves-more-locksmiths-in-nyc-than-cabs/

But GMaps is trapped in the enshittification squeeze. On the one hand, the company wants to provide a good and reliable map. On the other hand, the company makes money selling "ads" that are actually payola, where a business can pay to get to the top of the listings or get displayed on the map itself. Zoom out of Google's map of central London and the highlighted landmarks are a hilarious mix of "organic" and paid listings: the British Museum, Buckingham Palace, the Barbican, the London Eye…and a random oral and maxillofacial clinic in the financial district:

https://twitter.com/dylanbeattie/status/1764711667663831455

Hell of a job "organizing the world's information and making it universally accessible and useful," Big G. Doubtless the average Londoner finds the presence of this clinic super helpful in orienting themselves relative to the map on their phone screens, and it's a real service to tourists hoping to hit all the major landmarks.

It's not just Maps users who'd noticed the rampant enshittification. Even the original design team is so horrified they're moved to speak out about the moral injury they experience seeing the product they worked so hard on turned into a giant pile of shit:

https://twitter.com/elizlaraki/status/1727351922254852182

Now, when it comes to locksmiths, I'm lucky. My neighborhood in Burbank includes the wonderful Golden State Lock and Safe, which has been in business since 1942:

https://www.goldenstatelock.com/

But you wouldn't know it from searching GMaps for a locksmith near me. That search turns up a long list of scams:

https://www.google.com/maps/search/locksmith/@34.1750451,-118.369948,14z/data=!3m1!4b1?entry=ttu

It also turns up plenty of Keyme machines – these are private-equity backed, self-serve key-cutting machines placed in grocery stores. Despite Keyme calling itself a "locksmith," it's just a badly secured, overcaptilized, enshittification-bound system for collecting and retaining shapefiles for the keys to millions of homes, cross-referenced with billing information that will make it easy for the eventual hackers to mass-produce keys for all those poor suckers' houses.

(Hilariously, Keyme claims to be an "AI" company):

https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20200114005194/en/KeyMe-Raises-35-Million-to-Further-Its-Mission-of-Building-the-Premier-Locksmith-Services-Company-in-the-Nation

But despite the fact that you can literally see the Golden State storefront from Google Streetview, Google Maps claims to have no knowledge of it. Instead, Streetview labels Golden State "Keyme" – and displays a preview showing a locksmith using a tool to break into a jeep (I'd dearly love to know how the gadget next to the Slurpee machine at the 7-Eleven will drive itself to your jeep and unlock the door for you when you lose your keys):

https://www.google.com/maps/place/KeyMe+Locksmiths/@34.1752624,-118.3487531,3a,75y,350.19h,90.21t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1ssHrtqjqvgFir3NBauMy13Q!2e0!7i16384!8i8192!4m15!1m8!3m7!1s0x80c2959cd65dbb1b:0x4b3744cf87492a71!2sBurbank+Blvd+%26+N+Hollywood+Way,+Burbank,+CA+91505!3b1!8m2!3d34.1750025!4d-118.3493484!16s%2Fg%2F11f37_3lq8!3m5!1s0x80c2951cedbf4d39:0xe8ff9fd5872e66e9!8m2!3d34.1755176!4d-118.349!16s%2Fg%2F11mw7nr4fx?entry=ttu

It's pretty clear to me what's going on here. Keyme has hired some SEO creeps and/or paid off Google, flooding the zone with listings for its machines. Meanwhile, Golden State, being merely good at locksmithing, has lost the SEO wars. Perhaps Golden State could shift some of its emphasis from being good at locksmithing in order to get better at SEO, but this is a race that will always be won by the firm that puts the most into SEO, which will always be the firm that puts the least into quality.

Whenever I write about this stuff, people inevitably ask me which search engine they should use, if not Google?

And there's the rub.

Google used predatory pricing and anticompetitive mergers to acquire a 90% search market-share. The company spends more than $26b/year buying default position in every place where you might possibly encounter a new search engine. This created the "kill zone" – the VC's term of art for businesses that no one will invest in, because Google makes sure that no one will ever find out it exists:

https://www.theverge.com/23802382/search-engine-google-neeva-android

That's why the only serious competitor to Google is Bing, another Big Tech company (Bing is also the primary source of results on Duckduckgo, which is why DDG sometimes makes exceptions for Microsoft's privacy-invading tracking):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DuckDuckGo#Controversies

Google tells us that the quid-pro-quo of search monopolization is search excellence. The hundreds of billions it makes every year through monopoly control gives it the resources it needs to fight spammers and maintain search result quality. Anyone who's paid attention recently knows that this is bullshit: Google search quality is in free-fall, across all its products:

https://downloads.webis.de/publications/papers/bevendorff_2024a.pdf

But Google doesn't seem to think it has a problem. Rather than devoting all its available resources to fighting botshit, spam and scams, the company set $80 billion dollars alight last year with a stock buyback that was swiftly followed with 12,000 layoffs, followed by multiple subsequent rounds of layoffs:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

The scams that slip through Google's cracks are sometimes nefarious, but just as often they're decidedly amateurish, the kind of thing that Google could fix by throwing money at the problem, say, to validate that new ads for confirmed Google merchants come from the merchant's registered email addresses and go to the merchant's registered website:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

Search is a capital intensive business, and there are real returns to scale, as the UK Competition and Market Authority's excellent 2020 study describes:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5fe4957c8fa8f56aeff87c12/Appendix_I_-_search_quality_v.3_WEB_.pdf

But Google doesn't seem to think that its search needs that $80 billion to fight the spamwars. That's the thing about monopolists, they get complacent. As Lily Tomlin's "Ernestine the AT&T operator" used to say, "We don't care, we don't have to, we're the phone company."

That's why I'm so excited about the DOJ Antitrust Division monopolization case against Google. Trusting one company to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful," was a failure:

https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/justice-department-sues-google-monopolizing-digital-advertising-technologies

I understand why people want to know which search engine they should use instead of Google, and I get why, "There aren't any good search engines" is such an unsatisfactory answer. I understand why each fresh round of printer-company fuckery prompts people to ask "which printer should I get?" and I understand why "There are only six major printer companies and they're all suffering from end-stage enshittification" isn't what anyone wants to hear.

We want to be able to vote with our wallets, because it's so much faster and more convenient than voting with our ballots. But the vote-with-your-wallet election is rigged for the people with the thickest wallets. Try as hard as you'd like, you just can't shop your way out of a monopoly – that's like trying to recycle your way out of the climate emergency. Systemic problems need systemic solutions – not individual ones.

That's why the new antitrust matters so much. The answer to monopolies is to break up companies, block and unwind mergers, ban deceptive and unfair conduct. "Caveat emptor" is the scammer's motto. You shouldn't have to be an expert on lead gen scams to hire a locksmith without getting ripped off.

There are good products and services out there. Earlier this year, we decided to install a (non-networked) programmable pushbutton lock. I asked Deviant Ollam – whom I know from Defcon's Lockpicking Village – for a recommendation and he suggested the Schlage FE595:

https://www.schlage.com/en/home/products/FE595PLYFFFFLA.html

I liked it so much I bought another one for my office door. Eric from Golden State Lock and Safe installed it while I wrote this blog-post. It's great. I recommend both of 'em – 10/10, would do business again.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#vapor-locksmith

Image: alicia rae (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kehole_Red.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

--

Budhiargomiko (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wasteland.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[venerawrites]

sfw and nsfw headcanons Victor x scientist!fem!reader 🙏🙏🙏

author's note: I finally have the chance to write for Viktor and I am so happy about it! Thank you so much for your patience and your request! Hope you enjoy! x

warnings: 18+ content: MINORS DNI

➤ SFW

Match made in heaven!

Seriously tho, I don't really see him with someone who is NOT a scientist. Mainly, because his job is practically his life, but also because I think that getting close to someone he is working with, is the most probable way for him to fall in love.

With that being said, your love life and work life would practically be the same thing. You will be together from morning till evening, working on the Hextech and trying to figure out different ways to incorporate it into your experiments.

As his lover, of course, your main priority is to find a way to help Viktor and better his health. Despite him being against it at first, due to his worry that you may get hurt in the process, eventually, he lets you help him.

Your work is often transferred from your lab to your home, and sometimes it can cause bitter arguments between you.

While Viktor is very calm and collected as a lover, but when it comes to scientific debates or arguments about work, he is extremely stubborn. He likes his way of work, and while usually, he is open to other opinions, he doesn't take it lightly if you boldly say "you are wrong".

He doesn't like arguing tho, so while he may be very passionate in the first 10 minutes or so, eventually he will go outside to get some fresh air and calm down before he comes back and apologizes.

This man acts so reserved, but he is a BIG SOFTIE! In the name of peace he is ready to say sorry even when he is right, so please don't be mean to him! (He honestly deserves the world!)

Loves to make stuff with you. It doesn't always have to be Hextech projects, sometimes he enjoys making small trinkets or toys, or just anything really, as long as he can spend some peaceful time with you.

Reading has always been a hobby of his, but since he met you, one of his favourite things to do is read to you. Before bed; while you are out on a date in the park; while travelling... And you love it too, as I can promise you, there is no sound more soothing than Viktor's voice!

Honestly, I don't think he is romantic. If anything, he is extremely smart academically, but when it comes to emotions... let's just say he is awkward. Any dates, gifts, or romantic gestures are mainly planned/made by you.

Not into PDA either, BUT will hold your hand while you are outside and sometimes place a sweet peck on your lips. In private, however, he will be more relaxed and while he will be a bit shy at the beginning of your relationship, soon he will relax and will even initiate intimacy.

BIG SUCKER FOR HUGS!

Again, he will do it mainly in private, but for him your arms just feel like HOME. No matter how stressed or angry he is, once you hold him in your embrace, he will forget every worry that has been troubling his mind.

He may not be the most open or easy partner, but he loves you to death. So please, please, be patient and gentle with him!

➤ NSFW

Not gonna lie, sometimes it baffles me when I see someone describe Viktor as some sex machine/kinky man, because... HOW? WHERE? WHEN?

If anything, I don't think sex ever excited him much. He had probably one girlfriend in his life before meeting you and even then, he was way more interested in studying and spending time in the lab than rolling in the sheets with someone.

He is the type to make love, rather than fuck.

At some point in your relationship, after you both felt comfortable enough with each other, lovemaking would definitely be one of his favourite ways to show you how much you mean to him.

Usually sex with him is slow and sensual, with a lot of quiet grunting, sweet whispers, eye contact, and holding hands.

He is not super vocal, but would always mutter in your neck or ear "I love you" and "You feel so good, God!".

(Likes it when you are loud tho, it definitely boosts his ego a bit!)

Due to his health, he is not really into rough sex, neither he has the stamina or the energy to perform it. Still, if you are somewhat of a freak in the bedroom, he will reluctantly agree to try using toys or tie you up while pleasuring you.

Speaking of pleasure...

So good at oral! I don't think he even realises it, as he was very embarrassed the first time he buried his head between your thighs, but he definitely has a natural talent for it!

As I said above, he is not into PDA, let alone trying intimacy ANYWHERE outside your bedroom, BUT with a bit of begging, whining, and assuring him at least 10 times the door is locked, he will let you climb on his desk and spread your legs before him. The combination of his tongue and fingers is guaranteed to make you see stars!

He also enjoys receiving, but for some reason always feels embarrassed and shy, so he doesn't let you do it often. Again you either have to beg him for it or he has to feel extra stressed to let you do it.

Your usual sex position is missionary, as he loves being able to stare at your face and it also gives him control, without excessive movements, but he also enjoys you riding him. Not only is the least painful for his leg and back but he also loves watching your tits bounce.

Even tho as a man of culture he appreciates BOTH your tits and your ass.

When it comes to aftercare, he is very gentle and to be honest, often more tired than you. He enjoys you pampering him and showering him with affection.

cc artwork: "Arcane" Concept Art

[boimann]

What about medic x heavy really does it for you? Is it their individual characters? Their symbiosis during gameplay? The way they look together? No hate, just curious.

Sorry if this is a repeat ask

hi no problem I jump at any opportunity to gush about heavymedic :D

i think it's a mix of a few things, a lot of the stuff you suggested are it actually!

I do love them both on their own, they are very easily my favorite characters. I also think their personalities are very compatible, they are opposite in a way (medic being the more hyper one who can't shut up and heavy being the seemingly calmer quiet one) but they also have a lot in common they are both insane, violence loving incredibly intelligent men. and the fact that this compatibility carries over to their gameplay is just *chef's kiss* ya know?

on the battlefield heavy is this devastating force ready to gun down anything that moves and has a massive health pool but he is the slowest class in the game which can leave him extremely vulnerable to pick classes, while medic on the other hand is fast but kind of easy to kill, he has low health and can't output much damage and he also has a huge target on his back being the team's only healer. but together they complement each other perfectly!! medic can watch heavy's back and heal him and heavy can protect medic by shielding him from incoming damage and gun down anyone who gets too close. also uber charges are the equivalent of in game gay sex to me

and yes I am a sucker for big man x even bigger man, you said it best they look good together, I can't deny that a big part of why I love this pairing is because I'm extremely gay for both of them, I'm a simple man ok?

but also I feel like there are a lot of ways to interpret their dynamic that I love, I see a lot of people saying that heavymedic is boring but I think that's because a lot of the fandom is stuck only seeing them as being a soft old married couple (which is super valid I love this interpretation of them too) but there are a ton more!! they can be a brutal couple of manics, they can be a mad scientist and his favorite experiment, they can be an freak of a man x "oh shit my freak of a man is doing things!" etc... there is a lot of untapped potential that i'd like people to explore more

and finally I love that their whole relationship revolves around trust, heavy trusted medic to literally mess around with his heart in meat the medic, and trusted medic enough to jump in front of him while they were being charged by a bunch of enemy soldiers so medic could test out the machine he stabbed into his heart that had litterally blown up his previous one, and in the last comic medic trusted an extremely injured heavy to get up and finish cheavy after medic had distracted the him, Chevy was filled with australium and hated him enough to kill him once before and medic only had a pen to defend himself

idk I just that's beautiful

[ratstuckinamarble]

Introducing you all to my endless well of joy, made possible thanks to the pattern by @itsthebeastpeddler (whose blog you should check out cause she makes some really lovely things ^-^)

It's a slug!!! Fully hand-sewn cause doing so seemed easier than learning how to use our sewing machine... I'll do so eventually XD But it was actually fairly therapeutic.

Oh! Looks like they're friends now.

Camouflage slug... With a "snail" (he's in denial) friend I made some time ago >:) Dang she's making connections left and right :0

He's a big fan of strawberries, can't blame her. And as per the peddler's suggestion, I used a pipe cleaner for the eye stems! Now they're bendyyy

I knew keeping these suckers around for over a decade would be worth it... Also, the single progress photo I took.

This is my first time sewing a plushie, and I had a grand time. Learned a lot along the way, and the ladder stitch that always intimated me is actually super easy XD Wanna know what the best thing about making such a slug is though? The way the eye stalks wiggle about if you shake him sjshsj

A little slug kiss on your forehead for good luck <3

[mushroommanstan]

I’m OBSESSED with your creepy Tenko omg. I’d loooooooove to strap him down to his bed for hours with one of those automatic cock sucker pumps that just completely milks him until nothing else comes out and his eyes roll back and he’s drooling like in his favorite hentais. And maybe some sweet aftercare from the reader after he’s too fucked out to even speak<3. UGHHHHH he gives me cuteness aggression or something I swear I wanna eat him up

“Alright baby, just a little more.” You said, dabbing his forehead sweat with a towel as he jerked around. He was a moaning mess, his eyes rolled back into his head as the machine did its job, not even slowing for a second as he busted another load. You watched the thick white liquid being sucked through a transparent tube, before dripping into the thermos with the rest.

One could argue what you were doing was selfish, using your boyfriends body to make some bucks. But he agreed to it, and by the looks of it he certainly didn’t mind. So really what’s the harm?

You got the idea while having sweet sweet sex with your beloved Tenko. You needed the stress reliever after trying, and failing, to collect enough pocket money for the new limited edition Super Hero Bros game before it went away forever. It wasn’t enough, those games were always wicked expensive, and with finals coming up you couldn’t give it the attention it needed.

So, of course, you went to your boyfriend for help. You needed his long cock to pound the stressful thoughts out of your brain for a while. So happily, he accepted your invitation to the party between your legs, and began pounding into like there was no tomorrow, like usual.

You noted in your foggy brain how weird his stamina was. Like always, he kept cumming in short sporadic bursts of 2 to 3 minutes, but not even stopping for a second in between. It always left a waterfall of cum flowing out of you by the end, one that’s a pain in the ass to clean if you’re being honest.

Just think though, all those people with erectile dysfunction and stuff who wanna have kids, meanwhile you’re wasting the breeder of the century by just washing away his cum every time. Hmmm, actually… maybe… I wonder if?

Afterwards, after the both of you were satisfied to the moon and back, just barely awake you searched up on your phone if you could sell cum. The sperm banks rates immediately showed up and… oh man… that’s a lot. And-and that’s just for one little cup? Tenko could fill those up like a god damn dispenser. Damn, that’d be like printing your own money…..

Which is what led you to the present. Currently, you had Tenko strapped to the bed (the restraints were his idea) spread eagle with one of his old vibrating fleshlights on his spicy boner. You were able to use your engineering classes for knowledge and resources to attach a clear tube to the fleshlight that would collect the sperm and transfer it into one of your thermoses.

Despite him agreeing to this, you felt a little bad about using him like this for a profit, so you decided to make this as fun for him as possible. That, and well, you just like seeing him squirm. So while the expensive hand-less fleshlight did it’s thing, you put his scrawny thighs over your shoulder and just demolished his prostate with your fingers before grabbing his favorite strap on.

You two have been doing this for hours, pushing his body to the limits, and at this point he was reduced into a puddle of tears and “milk”. His eyes were rolled back into his head, his face a red mess, his eyes now waterfalls, and his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he screamed for you.

“C’mon baby” you said, stroking his cheek lovingly before slapping him, making him moan out. “Just one more then we’ll stop. You can do it.” Your hips were beginning to buckle, stiff and sore from the constant thrusting but you persevered. You couldn’t stop now, not when he was mewling so preciously for you, still moving his hips along with yours and thrusting into the fleshlight like a bitch in heat. Fuck, he was so beautiful like this, you almost wanted to leave him like this and keep him as the work of art he is. But you knew that wasn’t possible, so you instead savored every drool filled, eye rolling lustful second with him.

It didn’t take long before he let out a hoarse, reedy whine, signaling his closeness. You smirked, beginning to fondle his balls as you milked his body for all its worth. He whines out, his worn body tensing as the last of the cum in his balls is pulled from his cock in a flurry of white hot pleasure. He tries to scream, key word here is try, as only a few spurts of cum come out, the very last of the batch, something you thought you’d never see. You wait until it’s completely traveled into the thermos before you pull out, turning off the powerful vibrator attached to your hips.

It takes a few good tugs to get the pump off him even after it’s turned off, and his cock, now devoid of life to give, falls limp onto his stomach, shrinking slowly back into its dormant state.

You tighten the lid on the thermos before placing it into the freezer in his mini-fridge, right next to the frozen pizza pockets and vodka he keeps in there. Yeah, he’s a little naughty. Then you shoot a quick text scheduling the appointment at the “bank” before turning your attention to your sweet baby.

He’s completely drenched in sweat, the bedsheets too, but he’s too exhausted to move. So you grab some wet wipes and wipe him down till he’s passably clean before pulling his boxers back up and collapsing next to him.

You wrapped your arm around his chest, tsking as you felt him tremble. He was crying softly, letting out little hiccups as he tried to calm down. “Oh calm down, you big baby.” You said softly.

He didn’t look at you, his eyes still glued to the ceiling and exotropia’d slightly in exhaustion. You got a little worried, only teasing before, so you whispered concernedly “you doing ok?”

Your head, nestled into his neck, felt his chin bump into it as he gave the faintest of nods making you sigh in relief. You kissed his neck, fretting a little over the texture of the fresh scars, and slapping his shoulder not too hard and scolding him. It was clear from just one glance at his state that no words were going to stick, so you sighed, pulling the blanket over the two of you and promising yourself to punish him in the morning. Maybe some spanking? Yeah, that’ll do it.

You know he’s trying to stay awake a little longer, just for you. You could see his eyes straining as he waited to see if you had anything left to say. And while it was sweet, you knew he desperately needed to rest, so you decided to hit his natural snooze button.

You weaved your fingers in his dark hair poofs, and immediately his eyes fell shut like they were weighed down by rocks. His mouth fell open and the room was filled with soft, but reasonably loud snores. You didn’t mind though, not when he has just the cutest snores ever.

You fell asleep, cuddled up to him not too long after that, and when you woke up you were in for a shock. Turns out, dangerous, world ending quirk gene having sperm goes for A LOT. Mostly from people buying it so it doesn’t get in the wrong hands. You guys were actually able to get TWO games instead of one. So… score!

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Reading your works inspires my horny brain! I’m obsessed with the way you write Freminet and with his Fatui background. So, very soft Freminet thirst about post-mission bathtub sex incoming. It’s totally up to you whether you feel like expanding on it 💜

Imagine Freminet showing up late at night after a rough Fatui assignment. He’s still in clockwork machine mode so you immediately jump into taking care of him. To avoid abruptly pulling Freminet out of the headspace, you give soft orders and guide him through undressing so you can check for injuries. Once that’s taken care of, you draw a warm bath for the two of you to soak away the tension. Freminet rests against you in the water as you gently wash him and massage any aching muscles. While his mind starts to resurface, the lingering floaty feeling in his head combined with your comforting presence makes his body incredibly sensitive. Freminet starts to react without any inhibitions, his hips squirming and knees separating as your hands brush up his inner thighs and over his pert nipples. He begins to whine and whimper for more, too far gone to properly verbalize his desire for your touch. You give him the pleasure he’s seeking and when you make him cum Freminet gasps out his first word of the night “Y/N!”

After, you drain the tub and dry Freminet off with your fluffiest towel. Then proceed to put him in cozy pajamas, read him one of his fave fairytales, and cuddle him to sleep.

This is super cute and sweet. I'm such a sucker for soft sex like this, especially with someone like Freminet who deserves this kind of tenderness 🥺

[aftgficrec]

ah I'm so excited you're open!!! thank you for the ridiculous amount of work you all do 🙏ok, this might be too specific but any fics with an alternate take on Andrew and Neil's post-trk reunion? Andrew gets out of easthaven early, Neil leaves the Nest later, AU's, etc.? i think it's a really interesting point in their dynamic, and I'm a sucker for sober Andrew realizing someone was watching his back for once

Feeling a bit like a Bernie Sanders’ meme – ‘I am once again asking myself why I spent so much time on an ask,’ 😅 but it's because this is such an iconic and beloved scene for our fandom. For a super fun ‘live’ first-time reader reaction to this high drama, check out ‘The King’s Men, Chapter 1 – Hello Foxhole, My Old Friend’ by @nickireadstfc here. -A

also see

Andrew's POV of throwing keys off roof here

‘Come and Save Me From It’ here (completed)

‘Learning To Feel (When You've Forgotten How)’ and the fandom meta posts here

‘pipedream’ here

‘reaching for the heights’ here

‘Lost boy’ and ‘[Un]broken’ here

‘I Know You From A Nightmare,’ ‘The Marks We Make,’ and ‘Draw Me Out, Mark Me In’ here

‘Marked’ and ‘Soulmates who can feel each other’s pain’ here

‘Of Stars and Stories’ here

‘What’s normal now?’ here

long previous recs with reunion mention

‘No More Fucks To Give’ here (updated)

‘The Sphynx and the Hare’ here (completed)

‘corvus, vulpes, lupus’ here

‘never fallen (from quite this high)’ here

‘Not a Pipe Dream’ here

‘everything and nothing begins with you’ here

Andrew gets sober, Neil stays at Evermore

‘Oh Raven,’ ‘Jailbird,’ and ‘Take to the Wing’ here

‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ here 

 ‘Comeback’ here

you may also like

Christmas at Evermore here plus song rec ‘Far From Home (The Raven)’ here

Proust here plus ‘if you really love nothing’ here

Neil’s a hallucination here

Andreil meet in Easthaven here

‘just a slow body’ here

‘Will you be there when I come back?’ here

‘Here With You’ here (complete)

‘i'm here right now (just be here right now with me)’ here 

‘We're All Stories In The End’ here

‘Spirits In My Head’ here 

‘Fold me in your palms’ here

‘The Raven Prince’ here

‘Thanks, Matty’ here

‘Lullaby’ here

Random Rec - Andrew Minyard playlists round up here

Just a Pipe Dream by loveroulettes [Rated T, 2781 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Summer 2021, Locked]

Andrew thought coming off drugs will get rid of all side-effects, so why is Neil still here? AKA the scene where Neil picks up the cigarette from the ground and smokes it, but from Andrew’s POV

tw: implied/referenced abuse

reckless/i like it by Willow_bird [Rated M, 27259 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2022]

One thing didn’t seem to have changed since getting off the drugs. One thing almost seemed to have gotten worse. ”The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?” “If it means losing you, then no.” --- 5 times Andrew realized this something he had for Neil was, well, treacherous + 1 time he admitted (at least to himself) that he liked it

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: kidnapping, tw: choking, tw: implied/referenced torture

In the rain by Lyndis [Rated G, 1147 Words, Complete, 2021]

Part 2 of Quick and Dirty, parts 3 and 15 here

Andrew is off his drugs for the first time in years. No one knows he is back from Easthaven and he just wants to see Neil.

Time Machine by Marquee [Rated G, 137 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 4 of Aftg Poetry

Andrew wanting to kiss Neil on the roof, but he isn’t sure he should. But like a poem?? Yeah.

Tumblr Prompts by lipsstainedbloodred [Not Rated, Collection, 2018] 

Chapter 13: Page 12: What if Neil didn’t go with the monsters to pick up Andrew from Easthaven (Andreil) [T, 2434 Words] 

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced sexual assault

his solace by orphan_account [Rated M, 2292 Words, Complete, 2016]

Andrew’s first thought of Neil Josten was ‘fake’. He was a boy who was clearly lying, clearly pretending to be something he wasn’t; or at least, something he didn’t want to be. Andrew’s next thought of Neil Josten was ‘dangerous’. He was too attractive for Andrew to ignore, whilst single-handedly being the biggest flight risk he’d ever met. Neil looked for exits everywhere he went, and Andrew hated him for it.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: violence

Silent Words by Jeni182 [Rated M, Collection, Complete, 2018]

Chapter 2: Colors [T] Andrew hates color. It’s part of the reason why he’s always in black. It’s just easier. The color doesn’t make his eyes hurt. He doesn’t have to think about shit matching. It deters people, a lot of times.

When You Were Young by SpookyMiscreant [Rated T, 1831 Words, Complete, 2017]

It starts when the monsters pick up Andrew from Easthaven. Andrew sits on the roof of Fox Tower and contemplates Neil Josten now that he's sober. Set to the background music of When You Were Young by The Killers.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied referenced child abuse and neglect

this hole you put in me (wasn't deep enough) by gaygoyle [Rated T, 3368 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil blames himself for not doing more for Andrew while he's at Easthaven. So, Neil returns the one thing he knows even with his ban- Exy.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Shades of Sunset by darkbluebox [Rated T, 1885 Words, Complete, 2020]

Andrew is five years old, and he thinks orange is the most beautiful colour in the world. Twenty years in the life of Andrew Minyard.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced csa

Tell Me How You Hate Me by Killingmeslowly_24 [Rated T, 30532 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2023]

Next to Kevin sat a man who was roughly Neil-shaped, but that was where the similarities ended. Because Neil was brown hair, wide eyes, and a skittish demeanor. Neil was hidden smiles and questions and questions, so many goddamn questions, and- No. This wasn’t Neil. This man was a collage of bandages and bruises, hair bathed in flame. This man was a slack jaw and blue eyes, blue like ice, like an ocean, like drowning, too much like freedom for Andrew’s comfort. ... Or, The King's Men from Andrew's POV

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: violence, tw: dissociation, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: depression, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks

Bury it deep down, keep it under your skin by All_for_the_andreil [Rated T, 2123 Words, Complete, 2023]

He only wants to jump off the roof half the time. He supposes that’s progress too. The other half he’s only thinking about it in theory. How many bones would he break? Would he die on impact, like his mother did, or would it take some time? Would he feel the pain, or would it be just pure shock? Would he laugh as he fell? -or- Andrew's life told in snippets

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: canonical character death

Promptober 2023 by djinthehouse [Rated T, Collection, Updated Oct 2023]

Chapter 2: Falling into his reverse based on the song, The drug in me is you, by Falling in reverse

tw: referenced drug overdose, tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: psychological abuse, tw: gun violence, tw: murder

Chapter 4: Weak for the Boy This is based of the song, Weak by AJR it is kind of the opposite of Falling into his Reverse. 

tw: referenced nonconsensual drug use, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: blood, tw: psychological abuse

drop the game by Joana789 [Rated T, 1647 Words, Complete, 2017]

Then, the pills are gone. The buzzing in his veins is gone. The too-bright colors of the world are gone, everything back to its overwhelming dullness again. Neil Josten is, startlingly, still there.

tw: implied/referenced torture

but i’ll know, i’ll know by neilpipedreamjosten10 [Rated T, 2709 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2023]

After Andrew comes back from Easthaven, Neil is missing, and Andrew is the only one who remembers who he is. But Neil never left Edgar Allen. *** This takes place during TKM, a what-if? fic where Andrew returns and finds that Neil was like a figment of his imagination, but now he has to save the runaway.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: referenced overdose, tw: referenced suicide, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: torture

Lost (I Don’t Want To Be) by Demiwitchwoodwalker [Rated T, 4564 Words, Complete, 2022]

Part 2 of Someone(s) To Stay 

Kevin didn't respond, couldn't, and he suspected Riko knew that as his next words oozed with some sort of satisfaction. "I thought I'd give you a bit of a heads up, as a… let's say Christmas present. Your precious Nathaniel's getting inked. It's a shame Jean already got three, it would've suited the little Wesninski."

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks

NB: kandrew/developing kandreil

meta

*tw: may include references to Andrew’s canon trauma and suicidal thoughts

Andrew's time at Easthaven meta by series author @korakos [Tumblr, 2015]

Neil didn’t make Andrew want to live. He gave Andrew a reason to give into that want. meta by @haletostilinski [Tumblr, 2016]

The Extraordinary Strength of Andrew Minyard meta by @imaginedmelody [Tumblr, 2016]

the drugs went away and neil was still the same meta by @miniyrds [Tumblr 2016]

after they pick Andrew up at Easthaven meta by @evil-diabolical-oops [Tumblr, 2016]

andrew hates neil meta by @kickfoxing [Tumblr, 2017]

can you imagine Andrew coming back from reliving weeks of abuse… meta by @boris-pavlikcvsky [Tumblr 2017]

Midnight Thoughts about Andreil meta by @saltierthanbottomofapretzelbag [Tumblr, 2018]

Was "If it means losing you, then no" the final nail in the coffin? meta by @blogaboutyafavbirdboys [Tumblr, 2019]

meta about andrew and caring and wanting things by @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2020]

thoughts/feelings/deeper meaning of the (rooftop keys/cigarette) scene? meta by @bloody-wonder [Tumblr, 2020]

andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs meta by @twirlingflurry, @buriedinbaltimore [Tumblr 2021]

how utterly, heartbreakingly sad it is that Andrew calls Neil a pipe dream meta by @fortheloveofexy [Tumblr, 2022]

“You were supposed to be a side-effect of the drugs” meta by @sepulchralblues [Tumblr, 2023]

he cannot be real, he has to be a hallucination meta by @neveranniething [Tumblr, 2023]

neil just gives andrew his bands and knives meta by @grooviestguru [Tumblr, 2023]

you may also like

in the dream I don't tell anyone (you put your head in my lap) by Fortheloveofexy [Rated T, 1850 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

The real Neil would never allow this, would not let himself be this vulnerable. The real Neil can barely stand to be around him. Andrew knows this. But Dream Neil? Dream Neil is a different story.

Will you be there when I come back? by Shamman [Not Rated, 299 Words, Complete, 2017]

Andrew is trapped in Easthaven with an eidetic memory and tries to focus his thoughts on the confusing image of Neil Josten's face. -Because however terrible it may look, Andrew's current circumstances are much less pleasant. Furthermore Bee has been making him sing and play the guitar in a very therapeutic attempt to make him express some sort of actual emotion over the past year.

tw: violent imagery

You Gave Me A Key And Called It Home by glintchi [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2019]

Chapter 19: Yes, I Admit It, You Were Right [460 Words] Renee was waiting for him in the basement, fingers already taped, hair pulled back into a tuft of a rainbow ponytail.

Foxhole Tidbits by SpangleBangle [Collection Rated T/M, Updated  2018] 

Chapter 14: My Friend, O My Friend [M, 953 Words]  Prompt for Renee's reaction after Drake/Easthaven and Andrew's return.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: canonical character death

Did You Miss Me? by Deathandcommas [Rated G, 555 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]

Aaron and Andrew have a late night chat after Andrew gets back from Easthaven.

tfw spoons by StrawBerryRains [Rated G, 216 Words, Complete, 2021]

Nicky offers Andrew ice cream when they arrive home from Easthaven.

A Taste of Your Own Medicine by caffeine_withdrawl [Rated M, 66454 Words, Incomplete, Updated March 2023]

Set after the infamous Thanksgiving, but then diverges from canon. Andrew and Bee decide it’s time for Andrew to come off the drugs, but works some magic so that he is allowed to do it in Columbia. Neil is tasked with helping him through it. They decide to do it the same way Andrew helped Aaron sober up, by locking him in a bathroom. Andrew doesn't react well, and switches between rage and panic. Andrew wonders if Neil is real or if he made him up because of the drugs.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: body horror, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: flashbacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: withdrawal, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: ptsd, tw: emotional abuse, tw: hallucinations

making it harder to breathe by Azure_Allumiia [Rated T, 1643 Words, Complete, 2021]

Christmas Break with the Foxes, featuring Andrew at Easthaven and Neil in Evermore. Foxes celebrate New Years in NYC with the ball drop.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: medical abuse, tw: torture, tw: blood

Dead Birds by Noah98 [Rated G, 1601 Words, Complete, 2021, Locked]

Neil just got back from Evermore and Andrew has returned from Easthaven. Riko calls. He wants a rematch and oh boy does he get it.

tw: violence, tw: blood/gore

Art

NB: just a sampling of art for this scene

“Feel Again” original song by @whatbutandreil [Tumblr, 2020]

Picking up Andrew from Easthaven part 1, part 2 comic by @coldcigarettes

andreil keys off the roof scene: animation by @hahanken | comic by @rainbowd00dles | comic by @lunapiq | art by @esklinray

I hate you comic by @thematicallycoherent

I’m not a hallucination art by @clumsyartish

Stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself. edit by @m1nyards

You are a pipe dream art by @viennemort

“you spend all this time watching our backs” edit by @matthcwboyd

not a hallucination a pipe dream art by @kryptidfox

“you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” art by @planetmontressor

"Go inside and leave me alone." art by @dimsunstuff

“No, you’re a pipe dream.” art by @starkingdraws

[jackwolfes]

demigodbeautiies' end of 2023 grishaverse fic rec list ✨

this list is a selection of grishaverse fics i read and enjoyed in 2023! i've also had the absolute pleasure of getting to know a lot of these writers and hope you enjoy any of these fics if you give them a read 😊

///

spring cleaning by CSHfic and VSfic: G, Gen. Nina and Jesper help Wylan redecorate. i'm such a sucker for post-canon fics and this is a very very sweet one

put up with the rain by tepesh (@voidfishersong) : T, Gen. Kaz and Inej learn something about Jesper. tastiest fabrikator reveal fic i've ever bloody read

those who pull us free by @the-jennnster: M, Wesper/Gen, hurt/comfort. Wylan deals with nightmares. super artfully written, short and sweet and the right kind of painful.

like gravity by @basicbard : M, Wesper, angst with light smut. Super beautifully written

the open door invites the thief by thegoldenkneazle (@wylanvanfeck): M, Kanej/Gen. Wylan ends up in the midst of something he shouldn't, shenanigans ensue.

when crows blush by talking-crow (@six-of-crows-hyperfixation): E, Wesper, Smut. Wesper work in an office together and fuck around. super fun, super hot.

the pleasures of altruism by dimtraces (@doorsclosingslowly): E, Kazper, Smut. look me in the eye and tell me jesper WOULDN'T fabrikate a fucking machine for his best friend

bite my lips (lover red) by the_lady_king: E, Wesper, Smut. i just think it's really fun and really hot so it's going on the list.

contrast ratio by anonymous: E, Wesper, Smut. Jesper and Wylan have fun with hidden cameras. i wont lie this fic rewired my brain a bit in a very, very fun way.

holiest thing i know by @chaosride: E, Wesper, A/B/O. omegaverse can be a bit of a marmite trope but this fic in particular plays around with ketterdam's worldbuilding in a very intriguing, well done way and it's also just really hot i'm ngl

screw top rose by calicomma: E, Wesper, trans!Wylan. impeccable tender domestic romance vibes.

///

and the shameless self promo zone below because i've written a lot of things i'm very, very proud of this year 💖

a choice of two locked doors: M, Wesper, arranged marriage au. my current magnum opus and general baby, incredibly proud with the way this turned out.

the bed we loved in: M, Wesper, immediately post canon hurt/comfort. just, very pleased with the vibes of it.

not just girls: E, Wesper, trans!Wylan character study. really gratified with how much this seems to have meant to people.

[supertechengineer]

Super Sucker Machine

Supertech Engineers is a Leading Manufacturer, Supplier & Exporter of super sucker machines is Ghaziabad, Utter Pradesh, India. For More Other Details Contact Us +91-9910715032

[prodigal-explorer]

here are my current sanders sides height headcanon obsessions

i'm sure by now you all know that i do not have set-in-stone height headcanons for the sides (for the most part) because i don't really care and i like mixing it up! but here are my current favorite height headcanons for the sides that i just adore for so many reasons and implement into a lot of my most recent aus!

i can never decide whether i want roman to be taller or shorter than remus, but recently, i've been really digging the idea of roman being just a smidge taller than remus, and he holds it over his head ENDLESSLY while remus is like "whatever dude i'm older so-".

i usually really like when the creativetwins are among the taller ones (i'm 5'3 and i live a tall life vicariously through roman) but i think it's such a fun idea to have them be on the shorter end instead. they're like little balls of energy with huge personalities.

i'm always a sucker for patton to be really short because i usually make him an antagonist character and i LOVE the idea of people assuming that he's innocent and harmless because he's just a tiny boy and then they get totally blindsided when they find out the hard way that there are many more ways to do harm than physical brute force. i also resent the idea of small people always being seen as innocent/fragile and big people always being seen as scary/tough.

i've recently been obsessed with logan being the tallest in the group. like in most instances he's a very gentle giant, but when he loses his temper, he will LOOM.

i am a "virgil is super tall because of heightened anxiety" believer and truther. it is one of my favorite things of all time. i picture him being just a bit shorter than logan.

in terms of height, i see janus being somewhere in the middle. he's definitely the side that i'm the least sure about when it comes to height, i give him a different one every au LMAO.

FAT LOGAN. FAT VIRGIL. FAT JANUS. this, my friends, is the holy trinity. yes i know the fandom loves giving patton a dad bod. that's great for them. but guys. fat logan, fat virgil, fat janus. and i see them being like three different types of fat, if you know what i mean.

janus being like very curvy fat, he loves wearing bodycon stuff cuz he knows he looks SCRUMPTIOUS, but it's also a bitch for him to find well-fitting clothes because the fashion industry doesn't give a fuck about people with his body type. so he is really great with a sewing machine, mostly out of necessity, though he does enjoy it!

okay why don't more people make virgil super muscular. i see him as muscular fat. he's FIGHT or flight, guys!! he definitely has a punching bag in his room. i don't exactly see him as like a gym bro, but he definitely hits the weights when he needs to blow off steam or anxiety.

logan is somewhere between curvy fat and muscular fat, he's just a big guy! he is always very mindful of his size compared to others, mostly because he's worried about accidentally abusing his strength. but he literally never ever does.

the twins have islander bodies guyssss i know i saw themmmm. and by that i mean they're small and pretty lean, but they also have a bit of stockiness to them, especially in their legs. and they get endlessly teased by the other sides for their small feet.

[dayseternal-blog]

Fanfic you ve been reading recently? Love your tastes btw!

:) You sent this months ago, but here are the fics that I've been reading recently, like this August/September:

"The Mission" by Lunawrayth - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It wasn't that Hinata never expected to work with Naruto, just never on a mission quite like this.

-I check this one for updates so often. at least once a week, but more like multiple times a week.

"thus a silenced memory" by @keroppri - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Eight years flown on by and Naruto makes his return to the city where he once fell in love, only for him to leave hollow and broken after she was persuaded to leave him. Plagued by her memory at every corner, a chance meeting changes fates, minds, and hearts. Thus he tries to silence the memories. Inspired and based on Jane Austen's Persuasion.

-ahhh loving the yearning angst of unrequited love (but it's actually requited) in this fic.

"Amaranthine" by @opttagoyeo - Rated T, Various AU, Series of unrelated one-shots. A few drabbles/ideas ranging from fluff, confusing, humor, and angst regarding the most iconic and popular canon couple of Konohagakure, Naruhina.

-just started reading this! Full of cuteness.

"After Office Hours" by Pandora_Imperatrix - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto is lonely after Sakura and Sasuke left the village to travel together, he keeps leaving the office later and later, things start to change after one night when his secretary Hinata and him share a couple of vending machine beers. In this AU Naruto becomes Hokage a lot earlier than in the manga and The Last never happened.

-It's been years since this was updated, and recently Pandora updated and just finished it!!!!!!

"Friends with benefits" by @pastillesch - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. "I'm dumping you" --Naruto blinked once. Twice. "But we're not even together". It was more a stress relief than anything romantic, really. A hobby one would say. And now it was time to search for a new hobby. Or at least a new partner for this kind of hobby.

-Another one that I was super excited to see updated again!!!!

"Casual Touches" by Lunawrayth - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It's the casual touches that do it.

-Since I'm really feeling Luna's style, I checked out this story, too, and it's super cute. Love it.

"Fairy Tale" from "NaruHina Erotica Oneshots" by @makuro767 - Rated E, Fantasy AU, Two-shot. Naruto moved to an old family home to start anew and found an unlikely existence in his backyard...

-I am a total sucker for this type of size difference au. Like, it's just such a weird trope. It's just so weird. I love it. Makuro767 does a wonderful job with it!

"Love Is Not A Cage" by @nightowl27-writer - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. When Naruto comes back to his senses after the battle with Pein, the first thing he remembers are those baffling words she said just before she nearly died for him, and he NEEDS to hear them again. Will the truth set them free? Or are some confessions too much for the soul?

-that recent update killed me. In a good way. but oh man.

"Hinata (Mirror, Mirror)" from "Chicken Ramen for the Pervert's Soul" by @wickermayne - Rated E, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Naruto rolled his eyes at the purchase asking why she needed it and complained about how much room it took up, but Hinata enjoyed modeling different dresses in front of it, loved how it let her see all the many different angles. And that seemed to keep Naruto quiet enough about the mirror.

-🙊🙈🔥

So, I guess it's been months since I worked on this list. Because it's nearing the end of March 2024 now. And up at the top, apparently I was last working on this list in September 2023. And at that time, it had been "months" since the asker sent this. Well, here's the ones I've been reading recently:

"clash of possession - naruhina" by @powerful-niya - Rated E, Yakuza AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. In the heart of the yakuza underworld of Tokyo, the passing of Hiashi, the leader of the Hyūga clan, does more than just break Hinata's heart, but it exposes her to vulnerability. Seizing the opportunity, the ruthless Naruto, Uzumaki clan leader, targets not only the conquest of the Hyūga clan but also wishes to claim Hinata as his most prized possession, no matter the cost.

-It's been awhile since I read an irredeemable Naruto, and Niya's not lying when she calls the characterization ruthless!!

"Prey" by @sessakag - Rated E, Modern/Gangs AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Following a midnight chance encounter with Hinata Hyuuga, a smitten sociopath, Naruto Uzumaki, tries his hand at romance, determined to make her fall in love with him the only way he knows how.

-it's the mystery of Hinata's background that really fuels this piece for me. Icing on the cake is Naruto as a wonderfully sexy and dangerous stranger and the sexual tension between them that is absolutely exquisite.

"Paper Rings" by Its_Levioooosaa - Rated E, College/Soulmates AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. In a world where soulmates are found after a touch and after a brief moment of pain, resulting in a red loop circling the first knuckle of each person's pinky finger. Fating the two people together and leaving it up to them to decide what their relationship will be. Hinata had just stopped at her friends for a piece of pizza, little did she know that she'd be leaving with a soulmate.

-It's a cute premise and I can't wait to see what happens next! I love a good soulmate AU!

"Wanting More Than A Poolside View" by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Just a Sukumizu fetish scenario where Hinata is the target of a panty thief and recruits Naruto to investigate himself.

-I've been loving all of Bunny's updates this year, but I'm really hoping for an update on this one....or Narutoland haha, but I dunno what it is about High School NaruHina and their immaturity, it's just so fun!

Kay, that's all. If I don't post this now, I never will lol.

[dumb-teambucciarati-headcanons]

Mista and Narancia’s dumbass fun times:

- whenever they see a playground they yell “swings!” And run towards the swings, even when they are on a mission.

- Narancia is a sucker for those little bouncy balls that you can get in a gum ball machine, so he always buys a few whenever he sees them and he has like a fuck ton of bouncy balls in his funky little room. One time they both decided to bring a bunch of them with them on a mission and they ended up at a fancy restaurant, and Narancia dropped the bag full of the bouncy balls and they went everywhere.

- One time they asked Bruno if he could unzip both their heads so that they could trade heads with each other for the day. It resulted in them bumping into things a lot. They broke several glass things that day (which isn’t surprising though).

- One week they both decided that it was “spirit week” for their team (although the others weren’t as into it as they were). The themes were sadness Sunday, Mista Monday, twin Tuesday, worm Wednesday, tropical Thursday, Fuck you Friday and snoop dog Saturday.

- Despite the fact that they don’t have a curfew or anything, they (and Trish) will sneak out of their windows at night and walk around town and pretend that they (who are part of the mafia) are doing something super rebellious and fun. And Mista will do a funny little “sneaky walk” right after he sneaks out of his window. Like they won’t even break into any buildings or steal any cars (which they aren’t opposed to doing). They just chill. Sometimes they’ll go stargazing. Narancia always brings snacks.

-if they are both ever sent on a shopping trip together they always push each other around in the shopping cart.

[astxrwar]

blunt force trauma [1/x]

SYNOPSIS: traumatized!Bucky x Brainwashed!supersoldier!reader.

Rating: M

Word Count: 5k

Content Warnings: Canon-typical violence and that is all (for now). Check out the tag "fic; blunt force trauma" for Content + ao3 chapter notes for extras if you're interested. <3

Read on AO3

[ 1 ] [2]

Bucky had known, is the thing. Before getting sucker-punched out of a fucking moving semi truck, before getting his ass kicked in a spectacularly fucking embarrassing fashion, before getting saved by two dipshits with government-financed uniforms and the most ridiculous fucking make-believe superhero names—

He had known that there were others like him.

Super-soldiers. Enhanced. Whatever.

Well—

He’d known about one.

~

The first time he sees her it’s March, nighttime, cold and dark and fucking raining, for like the fourth day in a row. He’s gone outside to take the garbage out, the last in a mundane and seemingly fucking endless procession of normal-human-being tasks that he is trying very hard to be comfortable in doing, day after day, the way he is also trying hard to be a normal human being in general, a concrete and intact person who attends his court-ordered therapy and grocery shops and goes outside semi-regularly and does not commit violence even when it definitely feels warranted.

He’s tired. He has a headache starting somewhere around his left temple, the muscles there beginning to tense and tighten and pulse, irritatingly, against his skull. He wants a fucking cigarette, and he’s going to have a cigarette— he keeps meaning to quit, because it’s really not a  great habit, even if he’s pretty sure the serum will keep him from getting, like, lung cancer, or something. He’d been a pack-a-day asshole in the 107th because they were free, and he’d stopped when he was him because he didn’t have wants or needs or desires as a soulless killing machine, so part of it is probably just— the way that it feels grounding, kind of, the acrid burn of the smoke and the bitter taste of tar and the gently flickering embers of the cherry this bright spot of red and orange against the endless black backdrop of the alleyway at night. It’s very human. Very selfish. Very not like the person he used to be.

He doesn’t see the figure standing there until the cigarette is already half-gone, presumably because they’d been mostly obscured from him by the massive industrial-size apartment complex dumpsters and also, more importantly, because they hadn’t moved at all in the entire time he’d been outside. And it’s something about that, the unnerving and inhuman stillness, something about the way that they’re holding themselves, the vicious and barely-restrained and entirely recognizable tension he can see— feel— even just in their silhouette, the way that they’re standing, it reminds him of—

Something.

Bucky can tell when the figure realizes he’s seen them; there’s this shift in the dark line of their shoulders, like an intake of breath.

He flicks his cigarette, scattering ash down onto the pavement, the flakes drifting in the puddles of dirt and oil and city grime, becoming waterlogged, sinking in until he can’t see them. 

They— she— she says his name. Her voice is quiet and hoarse and crackles like she hasn’t spoken in a while and like it had taken some amount of effort to do so now, and she says his full, legal, god-given name, like she knows him.

“How do you know who I am,” Bucky says, flat, a question, but not really phrased like one. He grinds the end of his cigarette against the brick side of the building until the ember is out, and tosses it into the open dumpster; he’s aware of her in his periphery, that instinctive part of him that he mostly tries not to think about tracking her presence and waiting for movement and anticipating, calculating, flexing the fingers of the metal arm at his sides and breathing in deep and slow and relishing in all of it a lot more than he knows he should be.

She doesn’t reply. He can’t make out her face, not with how dark it is, with where she’s standing, deep enough into the alleyway that none of the light from the buzzing and flickering street lamp closer to his end reaches her at all; there’s still something about the way that she’s holding herself that prickles with familiarity, recognition, but he can’t place it. He’s positive she’s not government or military, reasonably certain she’s not Dora Milaje, less sure she’s not some kind of HYDRA offshoot minion or some other kind of general bad news. 

“Are you going to try to kill me?” he says finally.

Her breath catches, like she’d choked on it, and it’s audible even over the muted sounds of TVs playing and casual conversation and arguing floating down from the scattered collection of open windows above the alley, even over the louder and more persistent dripdripdrip of water down from the gutters, the sounds of traffic that never fully relents drifting out from the road.

“No,” she says, with enough vehemence that it stuns him, for a second– he’s taken aback by the force of the word, and then also, a second later, by how absolutely uncertain she sounds. Like she doesn’t believe it herself, or maybe more like she really doesn’t know.

“Okay,” Bucky says slowly, after a pause. “Okay, so what do you—“

He makes a mistake, then— he turns, the sole of his boot grinding softly against the wet, dirt-streaked asphalt, and he takes all of an aborted half-step in her direction.

She stiffens.

Bucky trails off, his fingers curling into loose fists at his sides–

She flees.

He hadn’t been expecting that, fucking obviously, so he wastes an essential handful of seconds just processing what the fuck even just happened. By the time it occurs to him that she’d ran, by the time he moves to the other end of the alley and rounds the corner and stares out into the adjoining street, there’s just—

Nothing. Nobody. An empty stretch of pavement. She could have followed the road down past his field of vision, the line of it blurred in the distance by the gently misting rain; she could have gone down any number of nearby alleys, could have climbed a fire escape onto the roof. If he’d been expecting it, he could have followed fast enough to see, but—

He hadn’t. 

He’d honestly expected her to fucking attack him, not— run. 

“Fuck,” Bucky says aloud, to nobody. 

He turns back to his apartment building, kicks a rock and watches it skitter across the glittering wet pavement and into the shadows.

He lights another cigarette.

~

He’s wired and on edge for hours afterwards, meaning he doesn’t sleep well. That thing inside of him is itching for it, a fight, an excuse, something to break the painful fucking monotony of his life these days; his therapist keeps saying that he’ll get used to this, the boredom of normalcy, and while he nods and plays along during the sessions, he’s not sure that’s even the issue.

He is used to it. He has a routine. He cooks and cleans and does general life maintenance on a strict and unwavering schedule. He even goes out once a week, goes and gets sushi and drinks with Yori, and even if that might technically not count as a friendship, it’s– something. He has a life. A normal, boring, regular, semi-adjusted life.

He just– 

He just doesn’t fucking like it.

It sucks, right, because back in Bucharest he remembers wanting this so fucking badly, wanting to just be normal, to be able to go grocery shopping and cook meals and listen to the radio and do nothing. Be nobody. And now that he has it, for real, forever, it’s like his stupid fucking brain has decided nope, y’know what, I don’t really want this after all.

What he wants, honestly, is another cause to throw himself into. Another banner to follow blind. Something that would let him relieve some of this constant fucking pressure, this itch just under his skin, this feeling like he’s forcing down and holding back and choking on all the worst parts of who he is, with no outlets to turn to, no options, no hope for relief.

I don’t do that anymore, is what he says to people, the pre-programmed line another term for the conditions of his parole. 

What he doesn’t say to anyone: I kind of miss it a fucking lot, though. 

Bucky stares up at the slowly-turning blades of his ceiling fan until his vision goes blurry and it turns into this meaningless shifting shape in the dark, and then he closes them, finally, and tries to will himself to sleep.

He should tell his therapist.

There’s a lot of things he should tell his therapist. I have nightmares, still. I probably qualify as paranoid. I made friends with the father of one of the men that I killed, and I go out to eat with him every week, and I think I feel just as bad about doing it as I would if I didn’t. I still haven’t figured out how to work that TV in the apartment, even though I said that I did, and I don’t even really know why I lied. I miss hurting people. I can’t sleep. 

“How have you been, James,” she says, peering at him across a cheap-looking wooden table, her pen poised threateningly– okay, not threateningly, but, like, still, threateningly – over a blank notebook page. The chair he’s sitting in is straight-backed and uncomfortable and slightly too small, and he wonders if that’s on purpose. “Anything new happening?”

She always asks this, in the beginning, like an ice-breaker, or something, except it feels like the opposite. It always feels–stiff, and perfunctory, and performative. That’s another thing– before all this, he used to be great at shooting the shit, talking about weather and sports and who’s seeing who and all that meaningless, petty nothing; he missed it, too, when he first started coming out of the fucking fugue state. And then it’s like– all those disassociated and splintered pieces of himself reintegrated, fused, solidified into something vaguely resembling a whole person, and he found that actually, he couldn’t stand any of it, anymore.

“Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’ and leaning back in the chair until it creaks, dangerously, like it might break. Fucking government office, you’d think they could afford decent and non-flimsy furniture. Doc glares at him like he’s full of shit and he makes a point to dial back the affected nonchalance, gauging her response to try to figure out the range of what might strike her as believable. “Nothing. Same old, same old. You know.”

Someone found me, yesterday. They knew me. 

She narrows her eyes. Scribbles something down. The scratch of the pen on paper sets his teeth on edge, makes a muscle in his jaw twitch, erratic and uncontrollable. He forces himself to stay very still, not to lean over, not to try to look. Forces himself to smile.

Wonders, vaguely, if it even looks like he’s smiling, or if it just looks like he’s baring his teeth.

~

Days pass. Then weeks. A whole month.

At first, Bucky maintains that alertness; his senses sharpen, expectant, the handful of times he ventures out to toss the garbage or have a cigarette at night, and he sleeps in short, fitful bursts, waking with a start at the sound of cars backfiring on the street outside or the building settling as the temperature drops or the radiator when it creaks, just a little louder than usual, as the heat kicks on. He doesn’t mind any of this, actually, and that’s another thing he knows he should probably tell his therapist.

Hey, Doc, I’m kinda thinking somebody wants to murder me, so I’ve started keeping a knife under my pillow again, and I’ve really only been sleeping for like, an hour or two at a time. 

Weird thing, though– I feel better than I have in weeks, and I haven’t had any nightmares.

He does not tell his therapist, for a lot of reasons. Part of that is because he guesses she’d want to have the military deal with it, whatever it even is, which is just–absolutely not necessary. He’s a grown man, a fucking ex-assassin, for god’s sake, he can handle his own shit; but then there’s also the fact that she doesn’t even really know he’s still having nightmares. She suspects, he’s pretty sure, but he’d started denying it the fourth or fifth appointment in, got tired of her saying stupid shit like let’s do an exercise; I want you to describe it to me and talking about it will help, James, and you should try establishing a relaxing bedtime routine. 

Planning contingencies in case he’s attacked in his sleep, he’s pretty sure, does not count as a relaxing bedtime routine, but even still. Whatever works, right?

And it does work, for the first week, and then the second week, and then some of the third week, too, but eventually that pervasive vigilance starts to wane in the absence of any actual threat, and there’s nothing he can do to maintain it– it’s instinctive, that response, and while he can force himself to go through the motions, the checking and the watching and the knives stashed in places, he can’t bring that feeling back.

She’s never there. He looks, at night, lingers for a while and paces aimlessly after he’s tossed in the trash and his cigarette has gone out, sometimes even lights a second one and stays out even longer, leaned back against the brick and waiting, still, silent, like maybe if he goes long enough without moving at all she’d just reappear out of thin air, like a magic trick.

That doesn’t happen, because of course it doesn’t.

Eventually he starts to run short on the drive for that, too. Humans, it’s just how they are– get nothing for long enough and they’ll start to lose interest in trying. Bucky used to be above those kinds of things, or beyond them, or something like that; he could maintain single-minded focus on something for months, years, when it was necessary. 

Bucky misses that, too, sometimes. But he’s human now, or some approximation of it, and so eventually he stops looking so hard. Just glances over at the spot where she’d been standing, tosses the trash in, finishes his cigarette, heads back inside. He sometimes tries to find her in the daytime, in the people he passes on the street, in the dark figures at the bar when he goes out with Yori, cataloging the stature and posture and the shapes of strangers, the way a girl holds her shoulders in line at the grocery store or how the bartender will sometimes stay leaned against the counter for a long while, perfectly still.

But he never sees her. Not once. He’d know, he thinks, if he did; he might not have seen her face, or really anything beyond her silhouette, but there was something eerily familiar and immediately distinctive about the way that she held herself, how she stood, how she moved. The pieces of that he sees reflected in other people are never enough to trigger that same automatic, visceral feeling of recognition.

That vigilance– it just keeps fading. 

He starts to sleep in larger and larger chunks, unbroken, and the nightmares come back.

~

“How are you doing, James?”

“I’m doing good, Doc, how about you.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question. He’s tired and his jaw hurts and his teeth feel weird in his mouth, loose and sore and wrong– he’s probably been grinding them in his sleep again. The thought aggravates him, the idea that his body does things now that he can’t control.

“Bullshit,” she says, and he tightens his grip on the armrest of the chair, a reflex, until he can feel the wood give a little under his fingers, like it might splinter into pieces in his hand. 

“Yeah, y’know what, I have a headache,” he says, mulish and stubborn and not in the fucking mood.

Doc just stares at him, lets the silence stretch and stretch and stretch– in the beginning, when she would do this shit, he’d just stare right back and say nothing for the entire forty-five minutes. Learned real quickly that just makes things worse, because she started making him come in twice a week. He’s down to twice a month, now, and would really like to keep it that way–ideally would like to make it less, even, if possible. 

Bucky sighs and he shifts in the chair and he runs his tongue over his teeth and gives up on attempting to tamp down the irritation that he knows he wasn’t doing all that great a job at disguising to begin with. He thinks about what to say, and it’s like threading a needle, kind of, trying to find that sweet spot, something that sounds like honesty without feeling like he’s being fucking– violated.

He ends up telling her about how he’d went and made a nighttime routine and that’d stopped the nightmares. He does not tell her that the routine involved checking the locks on all the windows and scuffing the hinges on the door enough to make sure it would creak if anybody opened it more than halfway, taping knives under the end table in the living room and on the inside of the door to the coat closet in the hall.

She looks– suspicious. Uncertain. Like she doesn’t trust him, but isn’t quite decided on whether or not he’s lying.

Bucky smiles, again. 

She relaxes, just a little.

He’s been practicing– how to do it and make sure it reaches his eyes.

~

It’s that same night that it happens again. He’s tired and still irritated and his jaw hurts, this tense, throbbing pain that comes and goes in waves and just pisses him off more, and he’s thinking about how much he fucking hates therapy and how ridiculous it is that anyone in the world would pay money for that, to be examined like a bug under a microscope, vivisected and picked apart until there’s nothing left. 

All it’s doing is making him a more convincing liar, he thinks, bitter and sour and mean.

Bucky stops in the alleyway to have a cigarette before going inside, because he’s pissy and wants one. He does that cursory once-over of the spot behind the dumpster and there’s nothing, which is expected, and so he leans back against the soot-stained brick and shoves one hand in the pocket of his jacket and sighs and tries to just– not want to commit murder. 

He notices it by chance. 

From here, he can see his own bedroom window, four stories up, the drapes shuttered. It’s like six at night, but it’s April, so it’s not pitch-black, the sky that sort of soft blue-purple color with the sun obscured behind the endless sprawl of buildings. It’s still bright enough for him to be able to see the shadows of the folds in the curtains. Bright enough for him to see them move.

It’s not a lot, just a slight shift of the fabric, the shadows rippling like the air had changed inside the room– it could have been a trick of the light, he reasons, he could be overstressed and underslept and kind of loopy off all of the half-second buzz he gets from the nicotine, seeing things. It could be the stupid fucking window, the fact that he knows the seal around the edges needs to be repaired; it had been drafty as hell all winter. It could just be that the radiator had happened to switch on at that exact moment, sent a rush of heat spilling up to the ceiling that swayed the drapes just enough to make him think that there’d been– something.

Those are all perfectly viable explanations. None of them settle his pulse. 

He thinks he can probably feel his senses heighten, like everything in his field of vision sliding into better focus, or maybe his awareness of them just amplified; same with his hearing, the din of constant city noise sorting out into isolated and individual sounds that he filters through as he stalks the length of the lobby hallway, takes the stairs two at a time, silent and barely breathing.

When he gets to his floor he stops on the landing. Listens. There’s the muffled noise of traffic outside, a horn going off that sparks two others in quick succession, all from different cars; the couple three doors down from his whose argument is devolving into yelling at each other, again, their voices overlapping and rising in volume; the echo of scattered, tinny applause from what’s probably a TV on in an apartment upstairs.

And then there’s this soft, unassuming thump that comes from his apartment; nonspecific, maybe just the building settling as the temperature drops, but Bucky still stops breathing entirely and holds himself very, very still and waits–

But there’s nothing else. Nothing important. 

He tells himself sternly not to get his hopes up, and then realizes a half-second later that he’s not even sure what that means– if he’s hoping that there will be something or hoping that there won’t be.

His doormat is crooked. Just a little, one of the corners closest to the hallway folded over, kicked up, something that could have just happened by accident, a misstep from someone else living in the building, but–

That’s way too many fucking coincidences.

He opens the door as quietly as he can, enough to slip through and into the foyer but not quite far enough for the hinges to scrape against one another in the places where he’d scratched divots into them. The lights are off in the apartment, his living room and the adjoining kitchen shrouded in that late twilight shade of purplish-black; he sees a solid shadow in the corner by the fridge and something inside of him lights up and comes alive and floods his entire nervous system with this immediate shock of energy and it’s like everything just sharpens, his awareness of the world around him, like everything had been fuzzy and gray and muted before and now it’s not, the shadows are darker and richer and the colors are brighter and he stops feeling like he’s watching the world slip past him in this monotonous and unending blur.

She doesn’t hear him until he’s almost all the way across the living room, and even when she turns he just raises his arms up, a gesture he hopes comes off as nonthreatening.

She doesn’t move.

Bucky steps into the kitchen— it’s an open floor plan, so, honestly, there isn’t really a strict dividing line— and realizes his mistake as soon as he gets his palms flat on the counter. He’d meant to close the distance and show her that he’s not going to hurt her, keep his hands open and within her line of sight, but he’d miscalculated by a fucking large margin. There’s nowhere for her to go, he’d trapped her in the corner, not even on purpose; the door and the window in the bedroom are her only exits, and he’d situated himself directly in between both of them.

The last time, she’d ran, when he’d tried to get close.

Belatedly, it occurs to him as he watches the stiffening line of her posture that if she can’t run, she’s probably going to–

She lunges for him and swings at his head and he sidesteps it, moving down further along the long side of the dividing counter. He’s not even between her and the door anymore, but it doesn’t matter, she just keeps moving towards him, and her face, when he sees it– her expression– her eyes, that violent and single-minded focus, the strange serenity to them, like her mind is blank and her head is empty except for the way that she’s tracking him, the steady steps that he keeps taking back, and back, and back–

“Listen,” he says, “I don’t want to hurt–”

She lashes out at him mid-sentence and he jerks back and hits the wall in the adjoining hallway; he’s operating mostly on an old and familiar instinct so he twists to the side when she tries to hit him again before he can think twice about it, realizes only afterwards that he’d been standing in front of a support beam and he should have just let her hit him, it’s not like she could hurt him, and she’s going to break her fucking hand–

She hits the two-by-four dead-on and he expects to hear the solid awful crunch of the bones in her knuckles or her wrist, but what he actually hears instead is the drywall crack as an impact crater erupts out from under her fist and the plaster crumble like wet sand and the two-by-four fucking snap, bow in on itself and splinter into jagged shards like a tree hit dead-on by a car veering off a highway.

“Oh, shit ,” he says, aloud, and suddenly a lot of that instinctive and unthinking recognition starts to make a lot of fucking sense. “You’re–”

She swings for his head again and he ducks and lurches backwards and catches her next attempt with the metal arm– he deflects it harmlessly to the side, but the angle is strange and he ends up absorbing a lot of the momentum and the force of the blow jars all the way up to his shoulder, and, holy fuck, yeah, she’s exactly what he thought, she has to be–

“Will you– just– stop,” he tells her, or tries to. She’s gotten close again and the sentence is cut off when she goes for his sternum with her elbow and he barely manages to move back, a few milliseconds from having the wind knocked clean out of him, and then a second time as she steps in to knee him in the ribs and he’s force to twist to one side at some strange angle that nearly has him off-balance. She’s fucking fast, Jesus Christ; he catches her arm when she swings at him again, grabs her wrist with his hand and presses the metal one out flat to the inside of her bicep and tries to force her backwards into the wall, but she steps in and closer to him before he can gather the momentum and this time she throws her elbow towards his fucking face–

Bucky makes the split-second decision to just let go and try to put some fucking distance between them, retreating back into the kitchen.

He doesn’t want to hurt her, not if he can help it, not with how she looks right now as she advances on him— there’s something in her eyes that he doesn’t just recognize, something that he knows, it’s like looking into a fucking mirror if mirrors could be fucking portals into the past, or something.

“Stop,” he says, again; they’re following each other around the long counter in his kitchen, now, her eyes fixed on his with this startling precision, staring him down like a cornered animal. And, god, he fucking gets that, if only she’d just–

She seems to realize after a few seconds that they’re just circling, because she leverages herself up on the counter and slides across it and nearly breaks his nose with her heel.

He catches her next punch dead-on and the look of blank fucking shock on her face is satisfying in ways that he knows, rationally, shouldn’t be. 

“Listen to me,” he says, and she doesn’t, predictably, but when she steps in to try to hit him and maneuver out of his grip like the last time he just uses her own momentum to get her turned around and pinned flat down to the counter with both of her arms twisted behind her back, held together with one of his hands, applying enough pressure to keep her there without tearing ligaments. She thrashes, violently, catches him with her feet a couple of times in the shins, but he’s running on adrenaline and the pain doesn’t even really register as pain at all, the way it used to, like it’s all just sensation, no more important than temperature or hunger or pressure or time.

“Listen,” Bucky says, again, trying to keep his voice nonthreatening but not sure how well he manages that, “Listen, alright, I don’t want to hurt you, just relax.“

The thing about the stupid counter in his kitchen is that it’s not really at waist height, even for him, which means when he’d forced her down onto it she wasn’t bent over at an angle deep enough for him to have the leverage to keep her there for long. The ideal position would be anything more than ninety degrees, an angle that would have someone stuck and unable to straighten against the pressure without the use of their arms; the thing about that stupid fucking counter being so high up and her being shorter than him by a meaningful margin is that the edge of it doesn’t even come close to hitting her waist and the angle he’s holding her at is incredibly fucking shallow. It wouldn’t be that hard, if she were to realize all of that, for her to drop her weight down and press into the counter with her knees to force him backwards; it wouldn’t even have to be far, there's a lip jutting out from the top that she's bent over, so there’s space between her and the side of it already. She’d only need enough room to brace her feet and push-- the legs are the strongest muscle group in the human body, and the impact when he hits whatever’s behind him would be more than enough to force his grip to loosen.

Bucky had been aware of all that, is the thing. Obviously. He’s a professional. 

He just thought it might have taken her a little longer to figure it out.

His back hits the fridge hard enough that it rattles all of the contents inside and forces the air out of his lungs with a pained and entirely involuntary groan and though he tries real fucking hard to keep ahold of her, he loses track of one of her arms.

She starts to turn against his grip on the other and from that look on her face he knows— intimately, personally, from fucking experience— what will happen next. Either she will keep going, keep twisting until she can hit him hard enough to escape and tear the tendon in her arm in the process, or—

Bucky lets go.

She scrambles back and away from him. He stays perfectly still, not moving his hand from where it’s still half-outstretched and open. 

She only looks at him for what’s probably less than a second before she makes for the door, but it feels like so much longer. That kind of glassy, thoughtless fog breaks, when she does, and her eyes widen a fraction and something glints inside them, fragile and expressive and aware.

It’s just that one second, and then she’s gone, the door to his apartment ajar and swaying farther open, pushed by the air that had moved when she’d slipped past it.

Bucky releases the breath he’d been holding, and slumps back against the fridge. 

~

That night he does a bug sweep for the first time in what feels like forever. There aren’t any, which is almost halfway to a surprise; he checks again for anything left behind, and again, more carefully, for anything out of place, but finds nothing.

Later, laying on his mattress and staring up into the dark, he thinks about calling Sam. He still doesn’t know anything about her, who she is or who she works for or what she wants, from him and then just in general; she’s had some kind of serum, and she moved like she’d been trained— like she’d been conditioned, how she hadn’t even hesitated at the thought of causing herself some pretty fucking significant damage to escape, the same way an animal in a trap gnaws off its' own leg. 

That’s a lot of fucking glaring red flags, and she’d broken into his apartment.

He should definitely tell Sam. Or anyone, really. 

The thing is, though—

He’d recognized something in her, the very first time. If he was going to tell anyone, he would have done it then.

No, this is— it’s fine. He can handle this himself, Bucky decides, and then closes his eyes.

He doesn’t sleep for long, but he doesn’t have any nightmares.