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meazalykov · 18 hours

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one shot with one heart

lena oberdorf x uswnt!reader

summary: what if germany and the united states made it to the semi-finals of the 2023 world cup? how would the two lovers handle it?

disclaimer/warnings: guilt, longer fic, i took real life events from the uswnt vs sweden match, and mallory never got injured before the world cup in this fic.

to you, the stadium could’ve stretched for miles filled with red, white, and blue colors– also white, red, orange, and black colors.

one of the semi-finals of the 2023 women's world cup came down to germany and the united states. the other game involves australia and spain.

you didn’t care so much about the oceania country and spanish country going head-to-head. at least for now. the world cup has taken over your mind for the last few months.

back in your home in munich, you pushed yourself during your games in the bundesliga. you’ve been with bayern munich since 2021, after a transfer from manchester city. at first, it took some months for you to settle in a new place. you’ve been away from your hometown of washington dc for many years, so readjusting wasn’t new to you.

then, you’ve made friends with your entire team. your closest friends being lea, sydney, and giulia– until georgia and sam tagged along in the later seasons.

lea schuller, your bestest friend, threw a small gathering at her apartment on a winter night in 2022. at first, you didn’t want to go. you had many chores that needed to be finished in your apartment– laundry, dishes, vacuuming– you name it. however, you suffered from a tiny case of FOMO. you decided to go at the last minute.

as you were walking into lea’s apartment, you saw two girls that you knew from wolfsburg. being the only non-german in the room you were surprised. lea introduced you to jule and lena– since you’ve never talked to them before. except for clashes during the rivalry games.

lena and you hit it off right away. everyone noticed how neither of you could leave the other alone. a month after talking- which happened to be a week after your birthday– lena came to visit you from wolfsburg and asked you to be her girlfriend. you said yes– and you guys have been happy since.

the long-distance between wolfsburg and munich hasn’t been as hard as you guys have suspected. you both hoped that you will be closer together someday.

now the game between germany and the united states ended in a 3-3. lea scoring a brace and alex popp with a goal for germany— sophia smith, lynn williams, and you scoring one goal for the united states.

the semi-finals needed a winner. so after no goals for both sides in extra time, the game came down to penalty kicks.

andi sullivan, number 17, takes the first shot in the penalty match. you look ahead, not wanting to blink in case you missed something big.

she scores! you let your arms wrapped behind mallory and sophia go as you clapped in support. you didn’t want to celebrate too much, since this penalty match can go either way.

you turn your head to see your bayern teammate, giulia, stand at the penalty spot. you swallow in nervousness as you hated to wish that she missed.

giulia scores! you hear all of the german girls, just 20 feet to your left– support your club teammate as she runs back to her line with a light smile.

you look down at the grass before seeing your national team captain, lindsey, go up to kick.

in your heart, you knew that lindsey wouldn’t miss. after her swift kick, you clapped in support knowing that you were right.

alexandra popp took a shot and didn’t miss, which caused your breathing to slow a tiny bit. you were nervous. even though you won the world cup at the age of 18 in 2019– you are ambitious and want your second by 22.

as kristie stepped up, you had a faint smile. the mewis sisters were the older sisters you wished you had as the older sibling of your own family. a small amount of hope shined through your fears as you saw the back of kristies head look forward at berger.

kristie scores! you pump your fists into the air as she runs back to the run with you. this time, she high-fives your hands before falling back into line. now, she is beside you on your right– with mallory to your left side.

you were distracted at the thought of kristies penalty kick– so your eyes widened when you saw your bestfriend at bayern– sydney– go and take the penalty shot next. again, you felt guilty about wanting her to miss the goal.

and then she did. sydney’s foot launched the ball far into the crowd which made you relieved. the germans in the crowd sigh as the americans cheered. in your heart, you wanted to comfort her– in your mind, you were relieved that she missed.

mallory’s right arm slowly leaves your waist as she heads towards the penalty spot. she was next.

“you got this swanson!” you yelled, hoping that she heard you over the loud crowd. she is one of your best friends on the national team and you knew a goal would lift her nervous spirit.

she didn’t get it, she missed. your heart dropped to your stomach as mallory walked back into line beside you. the ball she kicked was successfully blocked by berger on the right corner.

klara, one of your bayern teammates you love, goes to take a penalty kick. she missed which caused the german crowd to sigh in disappointment.

all of your fans, friends, and family knew that you weren't enjoying this. in fact, you would’ve preferred a 90 minute game with a clear winner over this climactic scene.

lena’s parents saw you briefly before the semi-final game and wished you luck. they’ve looked and loved you like one of their own. obi’s mother saw the nervous look in your eyes and reminded you that they would still love you even if you beat germany.

you have the same nervous eyes looking ahead at sophia smith going to take the penalty. your stomach turns and your eyes widen at the realization of her kick.

if sophia scores, the uswnt goes to the world cup finals. the entire country is looking at sophia on their tv screens. you can’t imagine how that would feel on the girl who's months older than you.

when the ball goes above the goalpost, you frown as sophia covers her face with her hands. at first, you thought she started crying. you weren’t too far off. sophia tried to cover her sad looks with a poker face that wasn’t working.

after she got back in line– on the opposite side of mallory from you– you reached your arm from behind and patted on sophia’s back. you wished you could’ve done more in that moment.

your heart beats hard as you look ahead at your lover jog to take the kick for germany. you find yourself glued to your spot, a knot of nervousness tightening in your stomach.

you want to cheer for your girlfriend, to hope she scores, but the conflict within you is undeniable. a small part of your mind, the part driven by the fierce desire and competitiveness to see your team advance, wishes for her to miss.

the guilt that accompanies that thought is overwhelming, making it hard to breathe. some of your teammates tilt their heads through the line to try and look at you– seeing a nervous and guilty look plastered on your face.

kristie and mallory, standing beside you on both sides, notice your inner turmoil through your clenched jaw.

kristie glances at you, her eyes filled with understanding. she knew the feeling after facing australia in the olympics against sam. however, she couldn’t imagine a scenario where penalty kicks were involved.

she already had her arm wrapped around your back, so she takes her hand and squeezes your shoulder gently, a silent gesture of support that steadies you momentarily. you’re reminded that your teammates do acknowledge you and the significance of lena being on the opposite team from you.

lena is your rival on the club level, but that is nothing compared to a world cup semi-final.

on the other side of your body, mallory does the same thing kristie did, her hand resting reassuringly on your lower back.

you stare at lena’s body the entire time, refusing to blink. lena takes a deep breath, and you do the same, feeling the tension grow tighter within you.

obi steps forward, striking the ball cleanly. for a fleeting moment, you hope, and you fear— you feel everything all at once.

when the ball passes alyssa’s fingers, going into the back of the net– lena jumps and yells in celebration as she jogs back to her teammates. you look at her the entire time with a straight face, but your eyes showed your small happiness for her.

you love her so much. seeing her happy makes you happy, even with these circumstances.

alyssa removes herself from the goal-post line and goes to the penalty spot. the older woman told you about her love for taking penalties before. the woman in green gave you a sense of confidence.

“come on alyssa!” you yell as your teammates yell in encouragement for her.

as her shot sprints past ann’s fingers, going into the net, you pump your fists into the air knowing that you trusted your goalkeeper to score.

now the penalties are 4-3. this terrified you.

on the lineup, you were the penalty kicker that went after alyssa. as an attacking midfielder, you were good at penalty kicks. if the next kicker, which looks to be svenja huth walking to the penalty spot, misses— the fate of the uswnt going to the world cup final depends on you.

you silently curse at the scriptwriters who could make this shit up. y/n, the american girl who plays in a german club and has a bunch of friends on the german national team along with the love of her life, might have to crush their dreams of being in a world cup final.

svenja’s shot was blocked by alyssa. the ball slammed right into alyssa’s gloved fingers. your heart sunk to your stomach and suddenly, your legs felt like lead that could snap in one wrong move.

the weight of the semi-final settles on your shoulders. it's your turn, and the realization hits you— if you score, the uswnt will advance to the world cup finals, possibly leading to their fifth win ever.

your entire team on the pitch yells words of encouragement at you.

“you got this, y/l/n!!!” you hear julie ertz’s voice.

“we love you!” naomi gave you reassurance.

all of your german teammates felt fear in their bodies as they saw you walk up to position the ball on the penalty spot. out of anyone that could take the deciding shot, they were shocked that it was you. you can handle pressure, but not as much as others can.

lena swallowed on nothing as she stared at you, the same way you stared at her taking the shot. instead, she knows that you will win the game if you make the goal.

she knows what's at stake, both for her team and for yours. the wolfsburg midfielder is questioning how you’re handling the pressure. the tension in the stadium is suffocating, and she can feel every heartbeat echoing in her chest.

her teammates notice her tension, offering silent pats on the back the same way the uswnt did for you with her kick, but lena barely registers them.

she bites her lip, her hands clenched tightly together, her gaze fixed solely on you as if you were the only one in the stadium.

the stadium is a cauldron of noise. the german supporters are trying to distract y/n while the american supports hold their breaths due to the intensity of the situation.

you managed to block it all out, focusing on ann-katrin berger, germany's goalkeeper. her eyes lock onto yours as she gives you an intimidating look, a silent challenge passing between you.

"this could be it, folks. it all comes down to y/n l/n. one goal to send the united states to the world cup finals for the fifth time." a male commentator speaks to the tv audience, where millions of people have their eyes watching your every move.

"y/n has been phenomenal this tournament. her goal from outside the box earlier could be nominated for goal of the tournament, but can she handle this pressure? this is the moment where the legends are made." the female commentator speaks up alongside the man.

“she was just 18 years old when she assisted rose lavelle’s goal in the last world cup final against the netherlands, she has the quality that can send the united states to another win.” the male commentator defends you.

"that's true– but we know that ann-katrin berger has been solid for germany. will she rise to the occasion or will y/n find a way through?" the woman responds.

the world seems to slow down as you take your steps back, your mind focused solely on the goal ahead. the stadium seems to stop as you begin your run-up, each step is measured, and your heart pounds in your chest.

“y/l/nnn!” the commentator drags your last name as your foot strikes the ball cleanly, watching as it sails toward the goal.

ann dives, her fingers brushing the ball as it was stopped over the goal-line. from your eyes, it looks like the ball went over the line. however, you know you’re biased.

your heart stops for a quick second—did she save it? the ball did hit the ground just behind the line, and the stadium erupts in a series of shock.

your shaky hands cover your dropped jaw as you stare at the ball that lays behind the net.

ann and you run to the assistant ref who stands closeby, ready to protest your sides.

"was it in? did it cross the line?" you begged through for shaky hands. your lungs force itself to take deep breaths as you felt tortured,

"the referee is checking var now, wait!"

you stand frozen as your eyes couldn’t even blink, your heart in your throat.

the referee waits for confirmation as her fingers hold onto her ear-piece, the seconds stretching into what feels like an eternity.

the first thing you do is turn to look at your coach, who nods his head in support. he knew you made it, but the refs made the final call.

suddenly, you look back to see the ref staring at you. at the same second she blows the whistle and points to the center circle—- FINAL GOAL!

all of the nervousness in your body was replaced with an overwhelming rush of relief. your teammates on the pitch and benches sprint towards you in excitement after hearing the whistle.

some of them tackle you to the ground and they all start a pile in excitement. their cheers echoing in your ears as they embrace you. all you could do was giggle and tear up in excitement, the nerves overwhelming your tired body.

on the other side of the pitch, the germans stand in shock–. their faces are a mix of shock and sorrow, the dream of reaching the world cup final snatched away in that single moment by their bestfriend and girlfriend for lena.

your closest national teammates, trinity, tierna, and mallory, are the first to reach you after, their faces alight with joy. this is ten minutes after the VAR call, so you calmed down from the excitement that took over your body.

they embrace you tightly in a group hug, shouting praises, songs and congratulations.

as they pull back from your warm body, they notice the fake smile on your face. through your eyes they can see the guilt and sadness etched on your face. also, they reflected the inner turmoil you’re struggling to hide throughout this happy moment.

"y/n, we're going to the fuckinggggg final thanks to you!" trinity exclaims, hoping that she misunderstood the look on your face. her smile fades slightly as she sees your smile come and go in the same moment.

tierna places a comforting arm around your shoulder. "are you okay? you don't look happy for someone who just sent us to the world cup finals."

mallory, always perceptive, follows your gaze to the german benches, where lena sits in denial– beside laura freigang who has tears in her eyes.

“you're sad about lena?"

you nod, your heart felt heavy. your national teammates knew how in love you were with lena. they’ve heard about her throughout your international breaks. there is never a day where you aren’t on facetime with lena when you’re back in the states for camp. they’ve met lena once and love how much you both care for each other.

"i– i just know how much this meant to her— i feel like i just snatched something important from her." you say as your eyes wander around the german benches. you see many of your bayern teammates sad, you hope they didn’t hate you.

“i’m scared too– you guys might be my teammates here but most of the girls over there are my club teammates in germany. I don't know what to do.” you confess.

the washington spirit forward pulls you into a side hug. "awhh sweetie it's okay to feel that way. your feelings are valid but thi is just the nature of the game. they all know that– lena understands that, even if it's hard for them right now."

you bite your nails out of bad habit as you stare at tierna’s cleats unintentionally, “i might give obi space for a few days– i don’t want to poke into the wound.” you mumble.

"no no no! you need to go to her. lena needs you right now more than ever even if you think that she doesn’t. she loves you."

mallory nods her head in agreement after taking a sip from her water bottle.

"obviously it's going to be tough for her to move on from this loss, but she knows you're not her enemy. she knows that you might feel guilty as much as she feels hurt. she needs her love right now, not her american opponent."

after a few more minutes of girl talk, your heart pounds as your feet carries you to the german benches, fear taking over your insides.

what if she resents you for this? what if the loss drives a wedge between you?

you gripped onto your black windbreaker jacket as you step closer to the benches. before you could reach lena, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“good goal, y/n.” alexandra says. you pull her into a hug as you breathe deeply. she wasn’t your teammate at bayern, but she knows you due to lena. she is the captain so she knows how much importance you have in lena’s life– just as much as lena has in yours.

“thank you– i’m so sorry.” you mumble as you pull away from your body.

“don’t apologize. you deserve the win.” alex gives you a faint smile and pats your back.

“yeah but–” you cut yourself off as you turn your head to look at lena, who had her head in her hands.

“obi needs you– go talk to her.” alex says before stepping away from you.

you play with the zipper on your windbreaker as you approach your girlfriend. she sits on the bench and can’t see you with her hands on her eyes, so you kneel down to be eye-level with her.

“obi baby..." you place your hands on her shoulders, rubbing them back and forth as you pull her attention.

in a quick motion, she reaches out and pulls you into a tight embrace, her body shaking with disappointment. she wasn’t crying with tears, but you know she would’ve if she wasn’t in public. lena didn’t want another euros 2022 aftermath to happen to her.

"lena, you don’t understand how much i hated doing that to you, i’m sorry" you whisper, your own tears starting to fall.

"i know. I know. it just... it hurts so much right now." lena clings to you, her grip firm yet trembling. she hasn’t felt this way since the EURO 2022 finals. you give mini kisses on the side of her head, hoping to comfort her in some way after taking away her chance to go into the world cup finals.

“i'm here for you baby, always. i’ll stay with your for a few weeks once we are back in germany before the pre-season– i am so sorry." you mumbled the last part a few times.

as the minutes pass, neither of you broke away from the hug. the noise of the stadium fades into the background.

all of the german and american players give you both space, understanding the delicate situation between you both.

trinity, tierna, mallory, savannah, sophia watch from a distance, their support unwavering. they didn’t know lena much, but everyone knows that lena would never hate you over this.

“you played so good y/n. i am so happy for you, please don’t believe otherwise. it's just... hard to accept the loss right now."

you nod, understanding her pain. you place your hands on the side of her face as you gave her a hopeful smile.

“i love you obi baby, i’m sorry.”

“stop apologizing— and i love you more liebe.”

#lena oberdorf #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #uswnt x reader #dfb frauen #alexandra popp #kristie mewis #wwc 2023 #gerwnt #wlw

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red-moon-at-night · 1 year

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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives.

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing.

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater.

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone.

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society.

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier.

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention.

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right.

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.

#milgram #haruka sakurai #analysis #weakness #all-knowing and all-agony #symbolism #disability #*drops this onto the fandom like a ton of bricks* hi i'm new here pleasure to meet u #oh man I finally finished it... this is a very (and I mean a VERY) long post asdfghjkl #I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though! I got most of the things I wanted to say and point out down #believe it or not there was actually MORE I could've said but I think tumblr may have crashed on me if I did that lmao #particularly to do with Weakness as I focused more on AK&AA here. but anyways #I love how morally grey everyone is in this series! It makes for some really fun analysis!#it's so so nice seeing a disabled character in such a position too and not just 'is a cinnamon roll' or 'the devil reincarnate' yknow #I debated leaving in the real-world history stuff but I think it sets the tone of my analysis pretty well and shows the importance of--#--haruka's disability not as a justification of his actions but as a vital backdrop to his environment and struggles

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suncaptor · 8 months

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I've been collecting different countries sources for emailing representatives about Palestine. I think this is integral and something people should really be doing especially if their government representatives are supporting Israel which in many western countries is the case.

Connection in Europe via European voices for peace:

(Has options for separate countries)

Jewish Voices for Peace has a good mechanism for the United States:

Legal resources for US activism

move on petition

Australia:

https://apan.org.au/israel_stop/

Canada:

Countries that the Israeli PM has named for support on his twitter: Austria, Czech Republic, France, the Netherlands, Greece, Cyprus, United States, Germany, Italy, Britain, Romania, Russia*, United Arab Emirates*

*publically condemns escalation, that I could find

(He mentions the United States the most, and thanks the congressman of the United States)

Urge you to look into your personal government and/or representatives policies and contact and/or protest (or support if you support them) their decisions regarding Palestine.

Boycott: HP, Siemens, AXA, Puma, Israeli Fruit and Vegetables, SodaStream, Ahava, Sabra (company)

Israel is using the support of world leaders and repeatedly using the language of civilisation vs barbarians etc. If you're from a place that's representing you and supporting Israel, making it clear you don't support it is important. I can't talk about the intricacies of the many government systems, but I know the left within the United States is gaining more and more fear around the lack of support of young voters and voters of colour they rely on. So contact them and make them aware of how the support of funding Israel's violence against Palestine is in fact making them lose political capital.

If I've made any errors in this post, I do apologise, let me know, and if you have additional resources, also would love to update with some.

Voted against UN ceasefire: Austria, Croatia, Czech Republic, Fiji, Guatamala, Hungary, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Papua New Guinea, Paraguay, Tonga, United States

Abstained from voting: Albania, Australia, Bulgaria, Cabo Verde, Cameroon, Canada, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia, Ethiopia, Finland, Georgia, Germany, Greece, Haiti, Iceland, India, Iraq, Italy, Japan, Kiribati, Latvia, Lithuania, Monaco, Netherlands, North Macedonia, Palau, Panama, Philippines, Poland, Korea, Moldova, Romania, San Marino, Serbia, Slovakia, South Sudan, Sweden, Tunisia, Tuvalu, Ukraine, United Kingdom, Uruguay, Vanuatu, Zambia

#incoherents #palestine #rec

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greynatomy · 9 months

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let you down

alyssa thompson x reader

Finally finished this for @liverpoolfan96. Hope you like the outcome. The ending is slightly different.

Let me know what you think!

-grey

———

Sweden vs United States

Round of 16

It came down to the penalty shootout to determine who moves onto the Quarter-final. The match have been intense from the beginning. Everyone was exhausted.

Sullivan, Horan, Mewis, Rapinoe, Smith, Naeher, Y/LN.

That was the order that your team would be shooting. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. It was your first World Cup, having been drafted to Angel City just earlier this year. Making history alongside your best friend as the youngest players to be drafted to the NWSL straight out of high school.

Sullivan, Horan and Mewis made their shot, getting closer and closer to your turn. Rapinoe and Smith both miss, Naeher makes hers, then saving the Sweden player’s that went after her.

Penalties are tied. It was your turn. If you make it, you take the lead. You can feel all the pressure. Thousands of eyes on you.

You try to block out the crowd, trying to control your breathing. You run up to the ball, kicking it right, the Musovic dives left, the crowd screaming, only for the ball to hit off the post.

You turn away, walking back towards the rest of your teammates on the pitch, head down. Score was still tied at four, hoping Sweden misses. Naeher looks to have saved it, but refs aren’t sure. Unfortunately for you and the team, VAR rules it a goal, giving Sweden the win to move onto the next round, knocking you guys out of the World Cup.

You collapse to the ground, tears falling down your face. You didn’t want to get up, afraid to see all the disappointment looks directed at you.

You feel a presence sitting down next to you, a hand going up and down your back, knowing exactly who it was.

“You did good.”

“I failed everyone.”

“You didn’t. You played great. I’m proud of you.”

You lift your head up, facing towards her tear stains on your cheeks a pout on your lips.

“You’re proud of me?”

“I’ll always be proud of you.”

The next thing Alyssa knew was feeling lips on hers, your lips on hers. You thought you’d read the whole situation wrong and was about to pull away when her hand cups your cheek, kissing you back. You both are completely in your own world, forgetting and blocking out your teammates and fans cheering.

“Is this your way of finally having the balls to ask me out?” Alyssa asks when you both pull away, a smirk on her lips.

“Maybe.” You blush. “Will you though? Be my girlfriend, I mean.”

“I’d love to be.” She kisses you once more.

“FUCKING FINALLY!”

“Kelley! Don’t ruin the moment!”

#woso x reader #greynatomy #woso #woso imagines #uswnt x reader #woso imagine #uswnt #uswnt imagines #alyssa thompson #alyssa thompson x reader

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traincoded · 1 year

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When is the Women’s World Cup?

It will begin on Thursday, July 20, 2023 to Sunday, August 20.

All the key dates are as follows.

First match: New Zealand vs. Norway — July 20 followed by Australia vs. Republic of Ireland

Group stage: July 20 – August 3

Round of 16: August 5 – August 8

Quarterfinals: August 11 & 12

Semifinals: August 15 & 16

Third-place playoff: August 19

Final: August 20

Where is it being held?

Of the 64 matches throughout the tournament, 35 will be played in Australia and 29 in New Zealand.

The latter will host the first game of the World Cup at Eden Park in Auckland while Stadium Australia in Sydney will be the venue for the final.

Here is how the groups look.

Group A: New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Switzerland

Group B: Australia, Canada, Nigeria, Republic of Ireland

Group C: Costa Rica, Japan, Spain, Zambia

Group D: China, Denmark, England, Haiti

Group E: Netherlands, Portugal, United States, Vietnam

Group F: Brazil, France, Jamaica, Panama

Group G: Argentina, Italy, South Africa, Sweden

Group H: Colombia, Germany, Morocco, South Korea

#fifa wwc 2023 #women's world cup #wwc 2023 #football #woso #the first tag should be consistently used if you wanna filter this stuff #im posting this bc i don't want to keep digging into articles repeatedly lol #ref

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mapsontheweb · 2 years

Photo

Road traffic death rate in the US vs Europe

by u/flyingcatwithhorns

Source:

https://www.iihs.org/topics/fatality-statistics/detail/state-by-state

https://transport.ec.europa.eu/news/preliminary-2021-eu-road-safety-statistics-2022-03-28_en

https://www.who.int/data/gho/data/themes/topics/topic-details/GHO/road-traffic-mortality

Edit: Found the data for a few countries for fatality rate per 100 million vehicle kilometres travelled (higher = worse)

Iceland 0.21

Norway 0.21

Sweden 0.26

United Kingdom 0.34

Germany 0.37

Switzerland 0.39

Slovenia 0.40

Ireland 0.41

OECD median 0.41

Australia 0.44

Finland 0.46

Canada 0.47

France 0.50

New Zealand 0.66

United States 0.83

Czech Republic 0.99

https://www.bitre.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/international_comparisons_2020.pdf, page 20/34

#maps #flyingcatwithhorns #eu vs us #accidents #deaths

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womanwithahotdogstand · 11 months

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*bursts through the door like a literal maniac* HAPPY WORLD CUP EVE, MOTHERHUGGERS!!!!

I now present to you, for your viewing pleasure, Jordan’s 2023 Women World Cup Predictions™️.

Group 1st and 2nd place:

A: Norway and New Zealand.

B: Australia and Ireland.

C: Spain and Zambia.

D: England and China.

E: United States and Portugal.

F: France and Brazil.

G: Sweden and Italy.

H: Germany and Morocco.

Round of 16:

Norway vs Zambia.

United States vs Italy (if y’all knew how much i’ve been waiting for/manifesting this matchup since I started following the USWNT in 2011 — you’d be disgusted.)

Spain vs New Zealand.

Sweden vs Portugal.

Australia vs China.

Brazil vs Morocco.

England vs Ireland (if this happens i’m sure it will be a calm, rational and respectable 90 minutes. I cannot wait to see everyone on their best behavior during this match.)

Germany vs France.

Quarterfinals:

United States vs Norway. *insert Julie Foudy talking about how much she loved playing Norway here.*

Spain vs Sweden.

Australia vs Brazil (I don’t care what time this game is on, I don’t care what day it’s happening — I WILL be up for this one.)

Germany vs England (this side of the bracket is giving big World War 2 energy and it’s making me mildly uncomfortable…)

Semifinals:

United States vs Spain.

Germany vs Australia.

3rd place game:

Australia vs Spain.

2023 Women’s World Cup Final:

United States vs Germany.

🥇: United States

🥈: Germany

🥉: Australia

#HERE WE F*CKING GO!!!!!!!!#women’s world cup 2023 #uswnt

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the-occult-lounge · 5 months

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Heathenry vs Norse Paganism vs Ásatrú

When we dig deeper into the ideologies from the Nordic countries (Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Iceland, as well as the Faroe Islands, Greenland, and Åland) we find that there is a split of sorts in religious ideologies. The following are a few of the groupings one may find when digging deeper into this area of practice. (Quotes provided from thetroth.org)

> Heathenry is the preferred general term for someone who practices a reconstructed version of a pre-Christian religion for the Germanic area of Northern Europe. “Heathen” was first used in the Gothic language to mean a “Gentile” and was originally a neutral term meaning someone from a particular region who wasn’t familiar with Jewish or Christian Scripture. This wasn’t a negative or pejorative term until it became a negative thing to not be a Christian.

> The way we use 'Norse Paganism' is not to refer exclusively to the ethnic practices of the pre-Christian Norse peoples (Swedes, Danes, Norwegians, etc); rather, the “Norse” in Norse Paganism refers to the names by which we call the Gods. Most of us refer to the Gods by the names they were called in the Norse languages, and much of our ritual taxonomy is based in the Norse languages.

> Ásatrú is a combination of two words. “Tru” which means “Faith/Trust in” and “Asa” which means “The Gods/Aesir.” Some do not like this term, as they believe it excludes those who place faith and trust in the Vanir (Vanatru) or the Jotnar (Rokkatru or sometimes Thursatru). There is some debate here as to whether or not the “Asa” in “Asa-tru” is truly exclusive in this sense. Someone who worshipped Njord, Skadi and Freyja exclusively could still call themselves “Ásatrú” and most wouldn’t object. In the United States, “Ásatrú” is losing favor as a term because of its usage by Folkish groups. But the term itself is not indicative of white nationalist or folkish beliefs, and internationally it remains a popular general term.

***Please note that within the above ideologies there may be a few outliers, typically within these practices white supremacist tend to hide and morph the gentle beliefs into something that they are not. Be careful of groups that you may join and pay attention to the words that they use or the symbols they may show***

For more information on Heathenry, Norse Paganism, and other forms, please visit thetroth.org.

#discord #occultism #occultist #pagan #paganism #witch #witch community #witchblr #witchcraft #witches #paganblr #occultblr #occult #occulltism

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public-transportation-tournament · 1 year

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Round 1!

The TCAT, Tompkins County, NY, USA vs Seattle Center Monorail, Seattle, WA, USA

M1 (or Millennium Underground Railway, but also known as "the small underground" by locals), Budapest, Hungary vs Grande Recife, Recife, Brazil

London Underground, Greater London, England vs Rotterdam Metro, Rotterdam, Netherlands

Beamish Tramway, Beamish Museum, Beamish, England vs Catbus/Nekobus, Sayama Hills, Saitama Prefecture, Japan (My Neighbor Totoro)

The New York City Subway system, New York City, NY, USA vs Corviknight Flying Taxi, Galar (Pokémon Sword and Shield)

Buenos Aires Underground (Subte), Autonomous City of Buenos Aires, Argentina vs Monte Toboggan, Funchal, Madeira, Portugal

The Stargate Network, throughout the Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies (the Stargate franchise) vs the Deepsea Metro, Inkopolis Bay (Splatoon)

CAT, Perth, Western Australia vs SkyTrain, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Brolly Rail, Nevermoor (Nevermoor by Jessica Townsend) vs Métro Ligne 4, Paris, France

Tyne and Wear Metro, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom vs the REM, Montreal, Quebec, Canada (upcoming)

Jeepney, the Philippines vs Sea Train, Water 7, connecting it with St. Poplar, San Faldo, and Pucci, as well as the Judicial Island Enies Lobby (One Piece)

The MTR, Hong Kong, PRC vs the Omnibus, New York, NY, USA (1832)

SeaBus, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada vs Wuppertaler Schwebebahn, Wuppertal, Germany

Ice Highway, the Nether Roof (Minecraft) vs Battle Subway, Unova (Pokémon Black and White)

WY Metro, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom vs Tunnelbana, Stockholm, Sweden

MRT (Moda Raya Terpadu/Mass Rapid Transit), Jakarta, Indonesia vs An Luas, Dublin, Ireland

RIPTA (Rhode Island public transit authority) (it’s buses), Rhode Island, USA vs Bakerloo Line, London Underground, London, England

Mount Vesuvius Funicular Railway, Mount Vesuvius, Italy (opened in 1880, destroyed by volcanic eruption in 1944) vs AquaBus, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Yarra Trams, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia vs SEPTA (southeast pennsylvania transportation authority), Pennsylvania, United States

Cable Cars, San Francisco, California, United States vs MAX Light Rail system, Portland, Oregon, United States

Amtrak, United States vs Fenelon Place Elevator, Dubuque, Iowa, United States

Ninky Nonk, Night Garden (In The Night Garden) vs Prague Metro, Prague, Czech Republic

Polar Bear Express, between Cochrane and Moosonee, Ontario, Canada vs the Crosstown Express, Robot City (Robots (2005))

Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (the T), Greater Boston, Massachusetts, United States vs Worcester Regional Transit Authority, Worcester County, Massachusetts, United States

Kakola Funicular, Turku, Finland vs Angkutan Kota (Angkot), Indonesia

Galaxy Railways, the Milky Way (The Galaxy Railways (銀河鉄道物語, Ginga Tetsudō Monogatari)) vs The Ride, Ann Arbor, Michigan, United States

MST Trolley, Monterey, California, United States vs People Mover, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World, Florida, United States

Public Transit Victoria, Victoria, Australia vs Carmelit, Haifa, Israel

The L, Chicago, Illinois, United States vs Leadhills and Wanlockhead Railway, South Lanarkshire, Scotland

Personal Rapid Transit (PRT), Morgantown, West Virginia vs Helsingin seudun liikenne/Helsingforsregionens trafik/Helsinki Regional Transport, Helsinki, Finland

Gondolas, Venice, Italy vs the Trolley from the Trolley Problem (Philippa Foot came up with it originally, but in media it was also presented in "the good place")

Zahnradbahn Stuttgart (die Zacke), Stuttgart (Marienplatz to Degerloch), Baden-Württemberg, Germany vs Detroit People Mover, Detroit, Michigan, United States

Warp Pipes (Super Mario Bros.) vs SCMaglev, Yamanashi, Japan

Transport Canberra Bus Network, Canberra, Australia vs Stagways, Hallownest (Hollow Knight)

Roosevelt Island Tram, Roosevelt Island, New York, NY, United States vs NJ Transit (Northeast Corridor), New Jersey, United States

Sunrail, Orlando, Florida, United States vs Bay Area Rapid Transit, Bay Area, California, United States

Purple Route (Charm City Circulator), Baltimore, Maryland, United States vs Alderney Ferry (Halifax Transit), Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Millennium Line, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada vs MARTA, Atlanta, Georgia, United States

Dual Mode Vehicle (DMV), Asa Coast Railway, Shikoku, Japan vs Lynton and Lynmouth Cliff Railway, Lynmouth, England, UK

Hovercraft, Portsmouth - Ryde, UK vs Funiculars, the Questionable Area (Psychonauts 2)

WildNorWester, Sodor (The Railway Series) vs Shinkansen, Japan

Métro de Paris, Paris, France vs Metro do Porto, Porto, Portugal

Deutsche Bahn, Germany vs UC Davis Unitrans Bus System, Davis, California

Vaporetti, Venice, Italy vs Harbour Bus, Copenhagen, Denmark

#hopefully i did the links right

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