#THATS JONS JOB

[literalfuckingfreak]

lol.

[a-a-a-anon]

if i had a nickel for every time a male british comedian i like said that on a childhood birthday a patriarch in their family said they were too old to hug and kiss them bc it's girly/gay i would have two nickels???? which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice....

(ade edmondson:)

(jon richardson:)

I went to kiss my granddad once-I would have only been about 7 or 8, but I'd had clearly what my grandad viewed as a landmark birthday. I went to say goodbye, and I kissed my Nana Gwen and went to kiss my Grandad Ron, and Grandad Ron said, "You're a man now. You don't kiss other men anymore." (- meet the richardsons 2.08)

[deithe]

jon snow grocery store manager au where jon, who got made manager bc previous manager joer mormonts weird parrot liked jon the best and runs the place like it's life or death. jon is making extreme decisions about completely menial stuff and muttering about honour and morality while looking at the prices of oranges. he decides they need more beets and alliser thorne, guy who was passed over for manager and spends his off days flinging darts at a picture of jon from his school yearbook, physically attacks him in the frozen food isle. other disgruntled employees start pelting jon with produce. jon calls it a mutiny and tries to blind thorne with a axe body spray. people call the cops and the 'Nite Watch 24-Hour Store Mutiny (gone wrong!)' video goes viral.

[mongeese]

Nooo haha Sam & Alice dont go to the weird burned out building that you keep getting mysterious hints about and that you saw on a forum resulted in some guy getting his eyes gouged out or otherwise brutalized you're too sexyyyyy

[istherewifiinhell]

besties i know not many of u are star wars people but just know there are new strides being made in the wet pathetic man department you couldnt even dream. the only things this guy did this episode were get yelled at. pull his sleeves over his hands to use elevator buttons. and get slapped by his mother when he showed up at her doorstep.

[k1ngdingus]

i just think that steve / nancy / robin are the trio that’s coming out of season 4 into season 5 now. say what you want but they were in the upside down together, they fought vecna together, they protected max together, they lost max / eddie together, they picked dustin back up . . . it was them. steve / nancy reignited something that wasn’t even completely burned out on either side clearly / she knows how important she is to his future / he knows that he wants nancy in his future & if that’s all his future is, he’s happy with that. natalia literally has stated that nancy likes that they are both caretakers but that steve takes care of her ( even if he knows that she can handle herself, he wants to help ). nancy now understands the steve / robin relationship / what they are to each other / how they work & they support / understand nancy.  robin & nancy are bonded / push each other in the right ways as they do with steve. 

[charlottesweetly]

i always feel bad having to unsub from creators but also i work like 8 hours a week at minimum wage now and my student loan doesnt even cover my tuition and rent soooooooooo

[creepywing]

SHOUTOUT TO THE PEOPLE WHO LEFT SCHOOL A YEAR AGO AND HAVE DONE FUCK ALL SINCE !!!!!!

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

SORRY - Chapter 5

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

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All OC Characters belong to me

“Here are your winners and the new WWE undisputed tag team champions! Jimmy and Jey, THE USOS!” Dominique spoke into the mic, with a smile on her face. The smile quickly dropped from her face as Jon stormed over to her and pulled her with him, out of the time keeper's area and into the crowd towards the backstage area.

“Jon.. What are you doing?” She asked as she stumbled after him, trying to keep up with his long strides. She was confused, because he was definitely going off script. He was supposed to be out there attacking Randy and Riddle with his brother and cousin.

Jon didn't respond, his jaw clenched as he continued to pull her along. “Hey, what the fuck!” She yelled at him when he pushed her into The Bloodline’s empty locker room, causing her to stumble in her heels. “What is your problem!?"

“You fucking Randy?! Huh! Is that why you won’t forgive me!” Dominique snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“And what if I am? You were definitely gonna fuck that girl last night , oh and don’t get me started on the fact that you spent the night with Trinity.” 

“Don’t fuckin’ play with me Dominque.” He gruffed out as he stalked towards her, backing her into the wall. 

“Ain't nobody playin’ with you. If you can do it, so can I.” She shrugged, not backing down as she stared into his eyes. Jon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew she was testing his patience and it was working. Jon opened his eyes, his jaw clenched as he struggled to keep his composure.

“Imma ask you one last time.” He muttered as he opened his eyes to look at her. “Are you fuckin’ Orton?"

Dominique rolled her eyes. “No, I'm not like you Jon, I would never cheat on the person I love.” Jon's expression darkened at Dominique's response. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

Jon sucked his teeth just as Joe and Josh walked through the doors. Jon ignored them though, keeping his glare on Dominique. “Stop with that bullshit Dominique. I aint cheat on you and I never will.” 

“What bullshit Jonathan?!” She yelled.  “I have caught you up in TWO bitches faces and you got the nerve to be acting like this because what? Randy was comforting me!” 

“He don’t need to comfort you Dom! Thats my fuckin’ job!” Josh decided to step in between them. 

“Aye, y’all chill out.” He said placing his hand on Jon’s chest, pushing him back from Dominique. 

“I’m chill.” Dominique said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “It’s him, he needs to chill.”  Joe snorted, then held his hands up defensively as she turned her glare to him. 

“Y’all are perfect for eachother,” He muttered as he walked into the bathroom to take a shower. 

“We been together for four fucking years and I’ve never even thought about another woman. I fuck up one time and you won’t let it go. I’m sorry Dominique” He stressed, trying to grab her hands but she swatted him away. Josh shook his head at them and walked out the room to call his wife, he was happy as hell he wasn’t Jon right now. 

“Jonathan, it’s not just one tiny little fuck up. You let that woman into your  space. You let her think that she actually had a chance with you.”  Dominique tried to stop her tears from falling, but she was hurt and angry and looking at his face wasn’t making her feel any better. “And then, you spent the night with your ex? You didn’t come to me, you didn’t try to talk to me, you went to her and I'm supposed to just forgive you?” 

Jon stood there frozen as he watched the tears fall down her face, his heart heavy with the weight of Dominique’s pain that he caused. This was the second time in the four years they had been together that he had made her cry; the first being when he proposed in Paris. 

“If I can take it all back I would Dominique.” Dominique sniffled and wiped her tears away. 

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” She muttered as Joe walked out the bathroom. “We have a flight to catch, are y’all ready?” Without waiting for a response she walked out of the locker room and towards the writers room to grab her bags. 

Jon watched her walk away as a feeling of hopelessness washed over him. Their relationship was hanging on by a thread and he feared that with every passing moment, that thread was growing thinner and thinner. But he also knew that he couldn't force Dominique to forgive him, couldn't demand her love in return for his apologies.

“Sis, you okay?” Josh asked her as she walked past him. 

“No,” She shrugged, sending him a soft smile. “But I will be.” 

“I know Jon’s my twin, but I'm here for you, aight?” She nodded. 

“Thank you Josh.” 

Back in the locker room Jon groaned and plopped down on the steel chair. “You know I don’t like to get in y’all relationship business.” Joe started, walking closer to his cousin. “But Dominique is the one for you. I mean after you broke up with Trinity and brought Dom around, everyone and I mean everyone was skeptical about y’all relationship. But shit the whole family loves her now. Y’all gotta fix this,” 

"I know, Joe," Jonathan admitted, his voice heavy with regret. "I messed up, big time. I don't know how to fix things with her."

Joe placed a reassuring hand on Jonathan's shoulder, offering him a sympathetic smile. "You just gotta show her, man.”

“Hey” Ishana said as Dom walked in. “You look rough.” Dominique rolled her eyes. 

“I feel rough.” She muttered, walking over and grabbing her luggage. 

“Jon again huh?” Dom nodded and let out a sigh. “So y’all still beefing?” 

“Yes, he seems to think that he can just say sorry and everything will go back to normal.”

“Have you expressed how you feel though? About the whole situation, why you don’t wanna get married?” Dominique sighed and rolled her eyes. 

“Ishana, I don't wanna talk about my problems with Jon right now.” 

Ishana ignored her, “Communication is key, Dom. he’s taking accountability and you need to too.” Dom scoffed but Ishana held her hand up to silence her. “Okay I get it the girl kissed him and yes, he went to Trinity this morning  but to be honest you were looking for a way out of the engagement anyway.”  Dominique's eyes widened. Ishana's words hung in the air, heavy with truth and accusation. Dominique felt a mix of shock and anger rising within her, her mind racing to process what she had just heard. 

“You’re joking right? Now is not the time to be funny.” Dominique said glaring at Ishana. “No, I wasn’t tryna find a way out of my engagement. I wanted to get married to Jon, just not right away.”

Ishana rolled her eyes. 

“Bullshit. Ever since yall got engaged you’ve been picking fights with him and as your best friend it’s time I spoke up and told you about yourself. Yes he fucked up by letting that girl into his personal space but he’s been trying to talk to you, trying to apologize to you but you blocked him, how can he make things right if you’re closing off all communication with him?"

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” 

Ishana shook her head, not believing how stubborn her best friend was being. “There is no sides, Dom. I want you and Jon to be happy. And in order for that to happen, you need to grow up. Not all marriages end in divorce.” Ishana said, grabbing her pocket book and walking out the room. Dominique stared at the closed door in shock. What the fuck was that?!

Heyyyy... long time no see 😭🫣

I was having second thoughts about this story but talking to @paigereeder i got a second wind and was able to finish this chapter!

Hopefully you guys won't have to wait as long for the next chapter.

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[astheflowersgrow]

I'm still kind of unsettled by Jon calling himself just "The Archivist" (I'm at MAG 132). Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute London is a function, his job, but now thats all he is. He's the Archivist.

Sorry for rambling its the worms in my brain

[magpod-confessions]

I do not love Alice as much as most of yall seem to. I do not get the hype. On the contrary, i think Sam and Gwen get too much hate.

I come from a labour majority town. I live in a tarrace house. I have a single parent. I am not well to do. And Gwen, to me, is not the embodiment of nepo baby government kiss-ass you all interpret her as.

For one, i doubt her rich as all hell family would be vying for her to work at a suspicious, dingy work job. And i dont think Lena particularly cares for the Bouchard title. And Gwen seems to work as hard as she can, and actually seems to be the only one treating her work as WORK. I can imagine her situation [at the start of the series] was like working on a long-term group project with 1 person who Does Not Give A Fuck and is trying to teach the newbies of the group to do the same as her [Fuck all], which only puts more work and stress on HER.

And her whole "shes a lady" thing with me did not come off as classism. Well to do people tend to do their fucked up shit in private. Bonzo is an otherworldly creature who doesn't care what others think and will just kill you. The fact Mowbray's a Lady makes her seem more human, which is the trap Gwen fell into. It makes her seem like she would only do the atrocious acts in ways that would not damage her title. Whether she is right or wrong, we dont know.

And then there's sam. I never hear anyone really talk about sam in a way thats not

A] talking about him in a way that dumbs down his character.

B] Comparing him to Jon or other characters from TMA

C] only talking about his relationships.

It feels like people are actively resisting having Sam as an actual protagonist, instead trying to make Alice fit into that role. Theyre both complex characters, treat them the bloody same please.

.

[casual-socks]

jon headcanons be upon ye

-in season 5 it always looks like hes widening his eyes as much as he can but theyre just like that naturally

-hes read the entire bible front to back

-hes really good at tetris

-unpopular opinion here but i think hed quite like christmas?? not like playing christmas music early november or anything but i think hed enjoy the holiday season and decorating and stuff… seasonal drinks and such… would pretend to hate it though

-his hair was slightly curlier after so many run ins with the distortion; it almost looks like a few strands are floating sometimes

-when he was young hed just recite multiplication tables until hed fall asleep

-“im probably non binary but i have a job so idrc about that rn”

-he can actually run pretty fast but WILL get tired in give or take 10 seconds. 15 if you wanna be generous

-in season 4 most of his clothes were stolen from lost and found, including an old cardigan of martins

-his eye powers make his hair grow out when he uses them, so in season 5 he kept scissors on them and cut his hair whenever he smote avatars. it always looked SUPER choppy

-never did his homework at home, always during lunch or other class periods. if he didnt it just wouldnt get done

-he does most of his emoting with his eyebrows

-keeps his old glasses in the same drawer as his rib and janes ashes

-absolutely hates having dirty nails, especially after the buried. keeps them short for that reason

-his #1 song on spotify wrapped every year without fail is some kind of white noise, he hates complete silence

ok thats all,,, for Now,,, i lov e jonathan sims

[satinoflowers]

jon snow weird psychosexual thing where he feels unable to sleep with prostitutes and have potentially baby-making sex, bcs of his idea of his mother. he 1) does oral with ygritte, the next logical step once he finds himself having extremely normal sexual desire again like almost every single other person is to have sex with a guy. perhaps a guy who is pretty like a girl with raven ringlets and lithe fingers. (This is fanon)

he convinces himself its bcs he’s afraid to have sex with a girl and (also his heart is incredibly broken from ygritte), but oh, oh no because here he is watching him dance and appointing him to the closest possible job position to him and watching ghost lick his pant leg and oh okay thats how it is. He cant worry about that tho he has to delegate salted meats and fix an immigration crisis (this is canon)

[autismprotocol]

TMAGP Theory Board (Episode 8-9)

Hi guys sorry about the missed week of theory crafting my schoolwork has been extra demanding and I haven't been able to get around to updating the board until now so here's the updated board

Episode 8 especially was insane so I'm gonna break the episode breakdown into two sections.

What Happened in Episode 8: Running On Empty

New Norris Statement! it's been a while since we heard from our buddy and he did not disappoint. though there's not much to say story-wise this was just a cool incident report I loved the way they described the Lonely as a constantly hungry entity. I also noticed that the pattern of Norris's statements having to do with lost love continues to be true. it's much more subtle than his previous two incidents but the statement giver does mention losing his wife because of divorce. which I believe still follows the pattern I've theorized is taking place. 

Something up with Alice. She seems more depressed and serious than she usually is in this episode. (through episode 9 I think I know why but I'll get to that later. I don't believe she is completely in the dark like some of the newer employees and after hearing about Gwen's promotion she is getting suspicious. we have yet to know if Alice knows what's happening. but her behavior in this episode might give us a hint about how naive she actually is.

Colin is Absent. After his freakout in EP 7, Colin is MIA. according to Lena, he's on a mental health break but I would not be surprised if that is a lie.

Gerry and Gertrude are Alive!! Probably the most exciting development in this episode was meeting an alive Gerry Keay and Gertrude Robison. Sam is on the hunt for info about the Magnus Institute after the emails Jon has been sending him and he and Celia end up meeting Gerry who in this universe is considerably more happy and lives with Gertrude. I'm interested to know what role Gertrude plays in this universe is she at all connected to the Institute? I definitely think something is up with her because of the way she tries to deflect Sam's question to Gerry.

Celia Lore. after the meeting with Gerry leads to a dead end for Sam, Celia asks him to help her with her mystery. "I'm trying to look into... Weird physics stuff: time travel, other dimensions, teleportation" More proof for this Celia being from from Archives. why else would she be looking into other dimensions specifically if she wasn't trying to figure out what happened at the Panopticon. (Remember as far as we know Celia before the change in Archives was just a normal person she had no connection to the entities or the Institute.) when Sam asks, she says it's for her friend's podcast but I think she's lying. or not telling the full truth.

Georgie Barker Perhaps? speaking of the friend. our last reveal of the episode is Georgie in protocol. I don't think she is from Archives because Georgie appears after Jons's sacrifice in MAG 200. 

And thats it for episode 8 so im gonna move on to Episode 9

What happened in Episode 9: Rolling With It

Sam is back to filling out onboarding paperwork but the questions on it are strange. asking about past traumas, how many dead things you've seen recently, and the infamous question why? similar types of questions that appear in TMA job interviews.

A Magnus Statement!?! After Celia tells Sam she can't find anything at the Magnus Institute Sam considers cutting his losses and letting it go. But then Chester without any prompting begins reading a Magnus statement incident to Sam. I still believe Chester is Jon and he acts as a mentor to Sam trying to keep him safe by providing him with bits of the answers he's looking for. (this way Sam won't be in danger of looking for answers elsewhere and maybe he won't be targeted by this unknown force that had killed RedCanary and driven Colin to extreme paranoia.) the statement reveals that the institute collected and stored artifacts much like the Institute in Archives. 

What's the deal with the Institute? the statement Chester shares this episode is pretty standard Magnus stuff, magic fear dice is just another Thursday for TMAG enjoyers. but what I found most interesting was the pre-statement info. What does this viability survey mean? viable for what? I and my roommate have a kind of joke theory that the Institute in this universe is a hub for training and creating new avatars but now I'm starting to think this might actually be the case. I think they are looking for people who have the potential to become avatars as subjects. for the agents, they might be employing avatars to work for the institute and the catalyst has to be finding an avatar that can complete the ritual and bring the Change. The unknown statement giver in this episode can't be a subject because they are already claimed by a power from the dice (still unsure what power it is ) they have low potential to become an agent because based on the end of the statement they now want nothing to do with the dice stepping away from their identity as a fear avatar and then dying. and for some reason, the institute must see some potential that this individual can serve as a catalyst for the ritual. I'm hopeful we'll get another avatar statement and maybe we can revisit this Viability survey again 

Gwen's First assignment. Gwen gets her first Liason assignment and it has brought up a major player from the protocol ARG. Mr Bonzo is this weird mascot character that showed up multiple times in the ARG that was launched back in the fall of 2023. Gwen is tasked with delivering an envelope with a name and address to Nigel Dickerson someone who according to Gwen is known for Mr. Bonzo. Basically, I have no idea where this is going but I definitely think it must be important. 

Poor Alice. Alice meets with Teddy to catch up. Nothing story significant happens here but we do learn that maybe Alice still harbors some romantic feelings towards Sam.

The Ruins. After her conversation with Teddy Alice is approached by Sam with a request. He wants to go to the old Magnus Institute ruins and wants Alice to come with him. This is definitely a bad idea but she agrees and that's where we leave off

and thats it for now. The story is getting so good and I'm already attached to all the characters so im terrified to see what Sam and alice dig up at the ruins (Sam clearly didn't heed the warning of the RedCanary)

[okayyeros]

I wish I could properly express how much I love media that explores the relationship between humanity and "monsters". There is something so dark about characters losing their compassion as they delve into whatever darker power is holding them hostage, and their own fear they have towards their actions. Or what is even better, is the discussion of where is the line between humanity and monster drawn.

I think this is something that makes mythology SO interesting, so many monsters within Greek epics did not start as monsters, but were often normal people. Medusa, Scylla, Arachne, there are soso many. They lost the things that made them human.

This is also a callout post for TMA. Jon's descent into monsterhood is devastating to watch. You get to see a man who is truly afraid of becoming a pawn for a greater power. Jon was not chosen, he was not destined to be a monster, he was simply the person to take the archival job. Tbh TMA and TMP plays with inhumanity in a very interesting way. Like Needles is SUCH a fun character. Jokes aside from them just being some guy, with a fuck ton of needles, there's this callousness that they have when discussing people. They do not care that they killed someone, they care more about their own survival. There is a freedom in the loss of control, but when you gain this freedom, do you lose your humanity in tandem?

It'll be interesting to see what kind of role, if any, Needles will have going forward. I'm also curious if Sam will soon grow more unbothered by death and the horrors as he's exposed to more statements.

I've heard Dungeon Meshi also delves into the line between humanity and monster however I havent gotten for enough to speak on it yet ;0 ok thats all I just wanted to yell about this

[starsoftheeye]

TMagP Live Reaction Ep 30

Finale Spoilers!!!!

Ahhhhh I am so scared. samalicelia my loves please live. also the episode title is worrying me

Pre-Statement

train time train time

sam open your damn messages alice is the designated "would survive a horror podcast" friend

celias just like me fr I'm the designated painkiller friend

... that is a worrying cough

celia being wonderfully vague and suspicious as always I love you girl

ohhh just wait til the last season sam that's when the apocalypse gets you

"we're safe here" jon watching them from the next carriage like 👀

call him a bitch alice it's okay he's earned it

ah yes, ticket prices, the real horror

COLIN HI BUDDY

oh no colin what did you do

are there people in the computer colin

welp he's probably dead

oooooh gwen meets the consequences of her actions this is gonna go brilliantly

lena also being suspicious and vague I love you too girlie

honestly iconic of her. you go lena ily

ah yes, the laugh of someone who should be in charge of a government office

celia don't act like you don't know what you're looking for

the way she said that makes it sound like they did think it was there

oh I'm sure it has its ways to get round transportation

"call it a hunch" girl you are not subtle

honestly ever since getting braces that's what I think dentists are like these days, there's no way they don't have ulterior motives

woohoo footsteps

celia "knows what genre she's in" ripley

WHOS THIS I PAUSED TO WRITE THAT LAST ONE

"that's one hell of a reflex!" scottish voice acting I love you so much. also who's this guy I love him already

oooooh scottish guy what do you know

I love him so much he's so real

LMAO I would also give up client confidentiality for 50 quid

*one normal night* begins playing

oooooh scottish guy who are youuuuu

is this a statement I hear?

Statement

STATEMENT TIME

oh god it's being pulled from him

hmmmm I wonder who this boss is

mmm lovely

oooh is it like a siren shop

HILL TOP TRAVELLERS

oooh people mannequins love that

oh god he has a daughter

woooo the boss is dead good

job so bad that it haunts your worst nightmares

hello?

HELLO? SCOTTISH GUY??? SCOTTISH GUY NOOOOOO

I'm so sorry I have no idea what you're saying my guy I'll need to consult the transcripts for this one

Post-Statement

okay sam at that point you need to call her back you can't hide from consequences forever

girlboss and malewife

ooooh what do you seeeeee

almost???

yeah what does that mean????

ah yes, they finally have the argument

tell himmmmm tell him celia

YESSS CELIA BACKSTORY

oh yeah she doesn't know that the eyepocalypse is over does she. she probably thinks she's gonna go ba k to another fear domain. I don't blame her tbh

is she gonna send him to the tma universe. IS SHE GONNA SEND HIM TO THE TMA UNIVERSE

welp. samcelia was cute while it lasted folks

AHHHHH CELIA STATEMENT

... I am taking that "get away from her" as a final samcelia crumb

...uh oh that's not good

ooh alice is gonna be pissed

oh hey scottish rock guy how's it going

ah hi gwen. it's good to see all the girlboss villain arcs starting

everyone wishing gwen luck really bodes well for her /s

THATS HOW IT ENDS???? OH MY GOD SAM NO

boy everyone's dealing with consequences now

I am not ready for the break between seasons I need more already

hey at least no ones confirmed dead. also I support celia 100% I still love her and I will continue to be a samalicelia truther despite recent events