#THESE AJUMMAS ARE SO FUNNY

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #37] Faking It

warnings: pleased be seated for THE JANITORS CLOSET hehe, and iconic chapter in the bd universe. seokjin! pregnancy scares! tittie worship, thigh riding, semi-public, a lil self-pleasure, multiple orgasms, kissing <33, cum in panties??, idk, one of my fave bd smut scenes and they don't even shag! there's a lot of plot in there. all the fave characters!! and the biggest villains!!

a/n: i figured out the wrong headers!! this header was actually the og 36 header and the og 37 header is what I used for 36 lol

also also also i knew i said there would be more updates tonight buuuut I finished write #60 today so I'm editing that instead hehe. there's a direct reference to something said in this chapter in #60!

wc: 18k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

In the quiet bustle of Jeongguk's favourite downtown cafe, Yoongi frowns.

"Are you even listening to me, Gguk?"

On the table sits a half-drunk coffee, the bitter taste a little too much for Jeongguk at this time in the morning. Notebooks open, pens scattered on the driftwood table, Jeongguk has spent the morning earnestly scrawling down revisions to his business plan.

The centrepiece of the table - a single white rose in a thin vase has been put on an empty seat. Just would have been in the way.

Also kind of made Jeongguk's blood boil, but he knows he shouldn't be irrationally angry at a fucking flower. A nice one at that. An expensive one.

Just like Seokjin had made sure to remind you on his calling card.

Happy Birthday, Darling. Exquisite roses for an exquisite girl. You can pretend they're from your new guy if you like - I'm sure he agrees you deserve the best that money can buy. All my love x

Stupid prick hadn't signed his name, but he has set a precedent. There's only one person who'd send you white roses. Not just a dozen. Not two dozen. Three fucking dozen. Thirty-six.

36 identical, soulless roses destined to die within a week or so, already embarking on their demise.

Danbi had snorted. "What's that? A rose for each time he cheated?"

You had smiled. Shook your head. "Think four dozen would be needed for that."

Jeongguk had been with you when you'd redistributed the roses to your CU ajumma aunties, and had to deal with their scrutinising eyes. Had smiled, and played nicely, even when they called Seokjin the 'handsome one'. As much as he might hate that tall mother fucker, he's got a pair of eyes. Knows he's a bloody god.

And so Jeongguk had moved the rose on his table out of sight before he even realised that he would need to.

The display of his iPad, which is still covered in your small fingerprints from lazy days wasted in his bedroom, has dimmed. It obscures the last revision of the plan. Hides it away from prying eyes.

A work in progress for years, now, he started planning for the samgyeopsal restaurant during his first semester of university. Had been a hypothetical project that he just hasn't been able to let go of. Like a first love, it kept coming back to the forefront of his mind.

For a little while - he's not sure how long; three, maybe four minutes - Jeongguk has been watching the beads of condensation sweat down the side of his glass. The straw, given to him by a barista with a warm smile and nothing else remotely interesting about her, lays beside the glass, still encased in its plastic wrapper.

He hears your voice and its tone of concern each and every time he raises the now-wet glass to his lips.

Careful, Koo. It'll hurt your teeth.

With every fabricated iteration of your concern, his mile-a-minute heart temporarily eases. For those scarce moments, it doesn't feel as if it'll burst straight out of his chest from the sheer exhausting stress of the unknown; His future. Yours. The one that you may or may not have together.

Funny how you're the main source of his stresses right now, and yet are the only thing able to ease them.

And so the straw remains as it is - still, untouched - just so he can pretend you care.

Dazed and most definitely confused when he looks up, Jeongguk's vacant eyes land on Yoongi. There's a frown on the older mans face, but a softness to his eyes.

"Hm?" Jeongguk hums. "Sorry?"

Sighing, Yoongi reaches for the straw that Jeongguk has so purposefully left discarded. Snaps the thin plastic wrapper apart. Reaches over and pushes the straw through a cluster of stubborn ice that just refuses to melt. Helps his friend in a way that makes total sense, and yet Jeongguk's mind is so jumbled up that it almost feels an attack.

It's him who frowns, now. Dimples form in the creases between his lips and cheeks, a thick line making itself known in the ridge between his eyes. Yoongi pays it no notice. Simply says, "Coffee'll stain your teeth. You'll thank me when you're older."

Perhaps he will. For now, Jeongguk's teeth are still pearly white. He's no need to worry about them.

"What wrong with you, huh?" Yoongi presses. "Spent all of last week badgering me to help you out, and now that I am, you've been a world away all morning. What gives?"

For all of the words that he could use to rabbit on about you for hours upon hours, they all seem to be stuck in his throat, dryly swallowed down like bitter pills sticking against his oesophagus.

To mention you now would be to admit that you occupy all vacancies inside his brain, in each and every waking moment. You're there in the moments he doesn't spend awake, too. A constant. Just as permanent as the glitter that's trapped between the woven threads of his cotton comforter, and as deeply embedded into him as the tattoos on his skin.

Pressing his lips together, piercing flipping in the corner of his mouth like it so often does, Jeongguk shrugs. "Sorry. Think my brain is shutting down."

If Yoongi suspects anything other than this as a viable excuse, he doesn't mention it. Just nods. Accept the white lie, and Jeongguk hopes he knows there's a white flag tied around it, too.

It's not that he wants to lie to Yoongi. He just doesn't want to be honest with himself.

Phone face down on the table, Jeongguk's device holds a whole host of contradictory search terms in his browser history. Questions he could probably ask Yoongi, but won't. Questions he should ask you, but most definitely won't.

Girlfriend - cause he figures it will bring back more results than fwb, or whatever else he could equate you to - missed her period, what should I do? Do girls miss periods often? Missed period, meaning, what? Having a baby with fwb, what now? Abortions? What if an abortion doesn't work? Is adoption good for the baby? How to be a single dad? What if only one person wants to keep it? What the fuck oenejoiegohhfo e.

The final result is still open in his browser. Was about three in the morning. Jeongguk had been sweating beneath his duvet, skin just as clammy as the condensation rings that have soaked into the wooden table from his iced coffee glass.

Nothing is confirmed. No test has been done - and yet he's thinking about where a playmat would fit in the living room, but also knows the name of the clinic downtown that would quickly and effectively prevent that from ever being his reality.

"We've made good progress," Yoongi tells Jeongguk. "Can take a break, if you like? Got a couple weeks till your meeting with the bank. Still got time."

There's no place in Jeongguk's business plan for a baby. He half wonders if maybe he should ask Yoongi where to factor it in. Knows better.

So instead, Jeongguk nods. "Yeah. Think that might be good. Sorry."

Yoongi just dismisses it. Tells Jeongguk it's fine, and really means it. Knows that trying to straighten out the fine details of a hypothetical business is harder than it would first appear. They've been troubleshooting; thinking of problems just for the sake of it. Making sure that Jeongguk's application for a business loan is airtight.

Of all of his friends, Yoongi is the only one who's ever been through anything similar. Is a fountain of knowledge with a wealth of experience that he's lucky enough to have access to.

Jeongguk half-thinks he must be mad for jumping in head first with this restaurant idea of his. Isn't sure he's got what it takes. Just knows he has to at least try, so he can say he can. So that even if he suffers the lows of failure, he will have experienced the highs of hope. Maybe even the uncharted territory of success.

"Could be a good idea to talk some things through with other people," Yoongi offers. "Someone in hospitality. Maybe DB. Get different scenarios neither of us have thought of yet."

Jeongguk doesn't need any more make-believe scenarios where you're involved. Has already thought of far too many all by himself.

But Yoongi doesn't know that, and Jeongguk would like to keep it that way. "Yeah. Maybe you're right."

It's this encouragement from Yoongi that has a text from Jeongguk pinging through to your phone a quarter of an hour later. Phone in your back pocket, you'll check the notification that buzzed quietly in a moment or so.

For now, you're locked in conversation with a woman who is both everything you fear and everything you want to be. Peachy-cheeked, with a crystal white smile and lips that are somehow perpetually glossed, Jina has been talking you through the upcoming event that Taehyung is showcasing for at the Ryu.

"I was really impressed - hold on," she huff a little through the strain of reaching across the desk for her file. You immediately get to your feet to help her out. Her peach cheeks are now pretty pink apples. She exhales a deep-rooted breath and plonks back into her own chair. Laughs at herself, and her inability to do even the simplest of tasks, then rests her hand adoringly over the incredibly large bump that protrudes from her stomach. Is appreciative as she says, "Thank you." Looks down to her bump, and laughs again. "Hurry up, now. Mummy has jobs to do."

The way Jina speaks to the little life that's growing inside of her makes you want to violently vomit. Not for disgust, or anything negative, but for the fact that you're terrified of a similar fate.

Well-put together, still in designer garments, Jina has her life together. Is the Lead Gallery Coordinator at the Ryu. Spent her twenties working her way up, only to land her spot at the top two weeks before she welcomed in her thirties. She's distinguished. Had worked damn hard to stay at the top, even when her assistant is consistently trying to fill the shoes she hasn't even taken off yet.

It's why she's still working, even when her due date is within touching distance. Will be damned if some jumped up twat that studied illustration at the expense of his wealthy parents, and has never actually produced an illustration worthy of any praise, ends up behind her desk. Perhaps she's jaded, and perhaps she's bitter that she never got an easy ride, but she did at least have passion - which is more than can be said for her assistant. The only reason she keeps him on is because his parents are benefactors of the gallery. Can't fire him, even if she wants to.

"Sorry," she smiles back up at you, then hums. Ponders. Pregnancy brain is not being kind to her these days. "Where was I?"

With a kind smile, you happily remind her. "You were saying you were impressed?"

"Ah, yes! I was. I am. With the both of you, actually. Kim Taehyung is producing art that actually entices people, which is a rarity these days. I'm surprised his portfolio wasn't passed onto me sooner."

Although when she considers her assistant, the surprise wanes.

"And you," she continues, then looks down to flick through the proposed show in the file you put together earlier that day. "You say you're just doing this part-time? As a favour?"

Nodding, you explain, "Taehyung's a friend, and this is my area of interest. Should have gone down this route straight after university, but you know what the industry is like."

With a pitiful smile, Jina nods. "No money in it unless you already have money."

It's no secret that the arts are a luxury for those who can afford them - not just the masterpieces themselves, but the time to indulge in them. Apprenticeships and internships pay poorly, so in order to get your foot on the ladder, you have to come from money. Have to be able to rely on parents, or aunts, or uncles to fund your living expenses while you live out your dreams.

Wasn't an option you'd had, so a compromise had been made in the form of the art cafe. It's minimum wage, but you do at least enjoy it and can pay the bills.

At such a point in her career where the money is good enough for her to never worry about finances, Jina's heart bleeds for you. From one creative to another, she wishes there was a way she could help.

"You've got everything I'd look for in an assistant," she tells you, and the compliment just serves to make you feel disappointed. Success has always been a goal of yours, and you regret not working harder towards it. The past year has taught you many things, but mainly it's reinforced the idea that you shouldn't spend time on things or people who don't enrich your heart.

And so you throw caution to the wind; chance a suggestion that you know is beyond your capabilities.

"Well, perhaps I could help out when you're on maternity leave?" You chance. Know that you don't have enough experience nor credentials to take on her role, but fuck it. What's the worst she could do? Say no? "Help keep things running smoothly?"

When Jina smiles, you know that rejection is coming your way - but at least you tried.

"No money in the job," she sighs. "The gallery director hasn't opened up a vacancy. My assistant is stepping up."

Even saying it out loud makes her blood boil - but she knows it's bad for the baby, so tries to cool it.

"I have a sneaky suspicion that they'll open up a vacancy in April. Maybe May. When it does, you'd be top of my list for recommendations," she offers. Knows that things are gonna fall apart without her there. The higher-ups won't realise what a fundamental error of judgement they've made until it's too late. "That if you'd be interested?"

You don't think you've ever been asked such a stupid question.

This is a lie.

You've spent time with the Dionysus boys. Have been asked a million questions than this one.

"Of course!" You enthuse. "I mean, I don't get me wrong, I love my job - but an opportunity like this would be... I don't even know," you laugh, unable to articulate yourself properly, so try simplicity. "Yes. Please. If that happens, please pass along my details."

She nods. Understands your excitement. Was in a very similar position, once upon a time. All it took was someone taking a chance on her. She'd like to do the same for you. Has seen your work ethic for an unpaid favour to a friend. Knows you wouldn't let her down.

"Now," she smiles, moving along the conversation as to not dwell on a situation that might never happen. "We're about a week out from the next show - has Taehyung finished the new piece? Any causes for concern?"

"Yes, and no," you assure her, even if it is a little lie.

Taehyung scrapped his piece last minute and has been in the studio ever since your birthday. Had a new wave of inspiration, apparently. Declared as such about twenty minutes after the knocking from Danbi's bedroom had eventually come to an end, so you dread to think of what this new piece could be like.

Still, you trust his creative process, so know that whatever he produces will be more than enough to satisfy the gallery execs.

The meeting runs smoothly; no hiccups to iron out. The subway ride back to the middle of town has to contemplate what life could be like had you met Taehyung earlier; if you could have a career to be proud of by now.

But there was no Taehyung without Jeongguk, and no Jeongguk without the devastating impact of Seokjin. Funny, how the entire time you were with Seokjin, he'd wished you had a better job. Lamented the minimum wage, and your irregular working hours. Would steer the direction away from what the pays the bills whenever you'd meet one of his friends, and they'd ask, 'what do you do for work?'. He'd never been proud, and so in turn, nor had you.

You wonder if he'd be proud now. It's bittersweet.

And as you arrive at Jeongguk's favourite cafe and spot him immediately - chin in his palm, a soft pout on his lips, papers scattered all over his table - you're the one who feels proud.

Seeing the ones you love chase their dreams is a special sort of pride. One that makes your heart swell. So much potential. So much hope.

Ordering up fresh drinks before you head over, there's a thick tension in the air. Jeongguk doesn't even realise you're here yet. Is too consumed with thoughts of you, like the idiot he is. Thoughts you, and his future, and how he doesn't know how to plan anything when he doesn't know what life will look like a year from now.

He clocks you as you're confirming the order with the barista. A hot flash of panic disrupts his body, but it cools just as quickly. Fucks with his body temperature regulation. Makes him feel all clammy and horrible despite the aircon in the cafe.

There's a smile on your lips, and Jeongguk finds one on his, too. There's a shine to his eyes that only glitters whenever you're nearby, and it's noticeable all the way from across the cafe.

Coffees in hand, clothes remarkably formal for a day off, Jeongguk narrows his eyes as you approach.

"What have you been up to?" he queries instead of greeting you properly, not caring for small-talk. Wants to know the big stuff. His brain has been cruel to him today. Hopes you can help remedy it slightly.

"Gallery," you simply say, taking the seat beside him.

There are four chairs at the table. Yoongi had been sitting opposite Jeongguk. You could have chosen to sit there, too.

He doesn't mention it.

"Everything going alright?" He asks, reaching over for his coffee with a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks."

"All good, I think," you say, sucking a little air between your teeth.

He cocks a brow. "You don't sound convinced."

With a bit of a defeated shrug, you purse your lips together. "I just..."

The way you trail off is all too familiar. Jeongguk's used to it. Has been a while since you struggled to find your words so badly.

"Big girl words," he teases softly, which earns him a small laugh from you.

"Fuck off," you smile, then shake your head to realign your thoughts. "No, I just... Sorry. Did it again. I just don't know how sustainable this all is, yanno?"

Jeongguk doesn't say a word. Knows that you aren't done formulating just yet - and when you sigh, before launching into a little ramble, he's proven right.

"I mean, I'm already a shift down this week to help with prep, and next week I've had to book two days off work. And like, honestly, it's fine," you stress. "I enjoy it so much, but long term? When Tae's shows get bigger and bigger? I just dunno, Gguk. Dunno."

You want it to be long-term. Never knew it was something you wanted until you realised maybe you can't have it. Seem unattainable now in a way that you knew before you started helping Taehyung out. The thing so wonderful about dreams is that you fool yourself into thinking they can come true. You neglect rational thinking.

Confronted with the restraints of the industry, it's hard to ignore. Hard to pretend like you could still have it, if you really want it. Things like that don't happen for people like you.

"Well just wait until I get the restaurant going," he smiles, knowing he doesn't have a solution for you - but that he does have the ability to talk about the future with you in a way that doesn't feel all that terrifying. "When I'm super successful and have queues out the door, I'll hire you. Will pay you above minimum wage and let you work with Tae on the side."

"Oh yeah?" You grin, enthused by the childlike excitement in his sparkly eyes. "Gonna be a big hot shot restaurant owner?"

"I'll have you know, I'll be the CEO," he nods his head smugly.

"Oh, that's sexy," you tell him.

"I know."

You hum a little and then decide that a little flirt is okay. "Would be kinda hot, fucking the boss, wouldn't it?"

He raises a brow. Swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, wetting his lip ring as he toys with it. "Would be a HR nightmare."

"Would give me a reason to call you Sir."

"Don't," he smiles, eyes closing, teeth showing. Sweetness encapsulates him despite the stickiness of the scenario that's playing out inside his head right now. Shakes his head. Slowly opens his eyes to find you again. Laughs. "You're fuckin' trouble, Byeol."

"S'why you like me."

"True," he admits rather shamelessly. Doesn't fancy denying it today. Not to himself. Not to you. Not to the world around him.

The air between you gets thinner. Feels like you can only keep breathing if you keep your eyes on one another. Up, and up you go into the atmosphere. Any higher, and you'll be in the fucking stars.

"I hate to ask..." Jeongguk murmurs and you immediately feel your floating soul crash back down to earth. The stars are off-limits today. Your feet must remain firmly on the ground.

"Then don't," you say sharply, not wanting the conversation to go in the direction you know he's steering it in.

"Byeol," he simply reprimands, knowing that it's a conversation that needs to be had. "You've not given me any updates."

"'Cause there's been nothing to report back," you say, as if it's no big deal; as if you haven't spent every waking moment thinking about it. As if your daydreams aren't getting more and more concerning. "I've skipped a month. That's all. It's not that uncommon."

"Well, according to WebMD, apparently some women get periods even when they are pregnant - like, certified, tested, proven true pregnant," Jeongguk states, his late-night research coming to the forefront of his mind. "That's not supposed to happen. Just like you're not supposed to miss your periods when you're not pregnant-"

"Gguk," you plead. "It's not that linear. All sorts of things affect periods."

"I know," he replies, and bless his heart, he really does think he knows. "Stress, eating habits, exercise, medical issues - I've read, like, 6 articles about PCOS in the last 24 hours. Didn't even know what it was last week."

You're fond as you smile over at him. "Why have you been reading PCOS articles?"

" Because ," he stresses, but gives no immediate follow up. Looks over to you with pleading eyes, like a puppy dog waiting for scraps. "Look B, I don't know what's going on. You won't tell me what's going on. The best I can do is try and understand."

"I've told you, Gguk. It's fine. Please. Just trust me."

It's a naive ask, for him to trust you, when you don't even trust yourself.

"Will you please just take a test?" He asks. "The longer it takes, the less options you'll have. We'll have."

You know he's right. Know that there's a test waiting in your bedroom, and that you've spent hours looking at because you're terrified of a result. A positive result, that is.

You won't admit to the way that the idea of a negative result makes you feel. Not to Jeongguk, nor to yourself. It's not what you want. You know that it wouldn't fit into your life. You know that the idea of being in Jina's position would wreck any goals or plans for your life.

And then you're feeling defensive. Pressured. Overwhelmed.

"Look, I said it's fine," you insist, trying to reassure not only him, but yourself too. "I know my body. It just does this sometimes. If anything, I'm probably less fertile than I should be."

"Yeah, but you don't know that-"

"And you don't know that I'm not."

"B, this affects us both," Jeongguk says, his patience waning, tone firming. He's right.

"I know that!" You snap back, 'cause it feels like he's backing you into a corner. "You think I'm not aware? Gguk, if I am-" you refuse to say the word, then quieten your voice. Look around. Get a little closer. "If I am , then I'm the one who has to deal with it. I'm the one who has to live with it. I'm the one who has to experience it."

"Oh what, so suddenly I play no part in this?" He argues right back, but keeps his voice quiet. Mirrors you. Is right there in the corner with you. If this is a boxing match, then he's not your opponent; he's the coach giving you water in the break and patching you up. There's no need to see him as the enemy. "I'm not just some random fucking guy, B. I'm not about to jump ship."

"Okay, hypothetical," you say, encouraging him to use his imagination a little. Try and see things how you see them. "It's positive. I don't want it, you do. Then what? What do we do?"

He's silent for a moment. Looks a little defeated as he shrugs. Doesn't look at you. "We'd get rid."

And even though it's what you think is the correct answer - putting priority on the carrier of the child - it still makes you a little sad. There are layers to such a decision. It's not straightforward. The complexities are beyond what you're capable of considering. There is no 'correct' answer. There are just choices; the one that you take, and the ones that you don't.

It's a curse how vivid your imagination can be; how you can imagine the rough skin by the tips of his fingers as he'd hold your hand in the waiting room, the look in his eyes as you turn to steal a glance at him before going through a pair of double doors that would ultimately change the outcome of your future, and the sterile scent of a medical facility that you'd really rather never visit.

You can picture his smile; pretty but ever so weak. Gorgeous little lies of 'it's okay' wrapped up with bows that could have maybe one day been tied in a child's hair instead.

Pull yourself together, you scold yourself. You don't even want a kid!

"If I were to get rid of it, while you wanted it... Gguk, you would resent me for what I took from you until the day you died," you say solemnly.

The gravity of it all is setting in. A positive result would ruin your lives regardless of whichever option you choose.

The pair of you have been gambling, and it seems like your luck is out.

"I wouldn't," Jeongguk frowns.

"How do you know?"

"Well how can you be certain that I would?" he counters. Is desperately trying see your point of view, but it's obscured by his own opinion on the matter. "Look, none of this is worth us getting worked up about until we know what the fuck we're dealing with. You might not even be pregnant."

He's right. You know he's right. The word makes your stomach lurch regardless.

So you nod, but plead, "Just give me a little time. Please."

He agrees. Knows that you do at least have a little more time before any certain decisions would need to be made. Walks you home. Tells you to keep him updated.

But then one day turns into two, then three, then four - and before you know it, you're ignoring one another, trying to pretend like all of this isn't happening; as if nothing has changed, and as if you haven't potentially fucked it all up just 'cause you couldn't stop messing about.

It's laughable, really. Your insatiable need to fuck one another has become its own form of birth control. Jeongguk isn't even waking up hard these days. Too stressed. No worry of fucking, now. Dick seems to be broken.

In all reality, he knows that it's nothing to do with his cock. He's not waking up hard, 'cause there's a lack of blood flow. Heart isn't pumping it like it normally does. Goes with the territory of not having you around.

But if he acknowledges that, he acknowledges everything he stands to lose before he's even had a chance to have it. Have you .

It's what he's thinking of now - cock limp, scowl hard - the night before Taehyung's art show. It's been five days. You've not kept him updated. He's not asked for updates.

You've both been pathetic - but he's attributing it to you. Thinks you're deliberately being childish so that he won't think having a kid is a good idea - as if he even wants them right now.

Sitting on the couches of Taehyung's studio space, the usual suspects are up to nothing much. Just having a few drinks the night before the show. It's a bit of ritual - nothing set in stone, just kind of what happens. The easing of Taehyung's nerves means he always wants to indulge.

Stewing in the corner like a little parasite, Jeongguk's face of thunder hasn't eased all evening. He never gives a straight answer when he's asked about these little moods of his, so no one has bothered to press too hard. He is at least in attendance - which is more than can be said for you.

"It really doesn't matter," Taehyung smiles, unphased by Jeongguk, stroking Danbi's back as she scrolls through her phone, looking for outfit inspiration.

"Yeah, no offence Danbi, but everyone's gonna be looking at the art," Jimin mumbles through a mouthful of overpriced breadsticks. "No one is gonna care what you wear."

Rolling her eyes, Danbi doesn't care for his opinion. "So? I want people to look at me, which is why my outfit needs to good."

Still stroking her back, Taehyung is so incredibly fond of her unwavering self-assured place in the world. "People will be looking at you," he supports her. "What's DB wearing?"

Flicking through to your message thread, which had ended earlier that afternoon with a very blatant bullshit excuse for your lack of attendance, Danbi scrolls up to find the picture you'd sent her earlier that day.

"Oh, it's nice," Taehyung downplays it. Knows exactly why Danbi is desperate to find something showstopping. Will never let her be aware of this, though. What he does do, is make sure it reaches the right people. "She shown you, Gguk?"

The grunt that Jeongguk makes is barely audible. If there's one thing he doesn't want to see right now, it's you. Especially you looking all fancy and shit.

He's still annoyed. You haven't spoken to him since your fight other than to send him dumb instagram reels. Rabbits hopping about. Shit like that. He smiles every damn time and it only serves to piss him off even more.

But, like the true nuisance she is, Danbi forwards the picture through to Jeongguk. She hasn't heard directly from you that you're fighting with Jeongguk, but anyone who has spent time with the both of you in the last few days will be able to figure it out.

Jeongguk knows better than to click through on the notification. Knows that if you wanted him to know what you're wearing, you would have shown him.

But he misses you.

Wants to see you, even if he knows it will only serve to annoy him even more.

He's proven right.

Standing in front of your mirror - the one used for your first selfie with the bird necklace on Christmas Eve, and also used for your own sadistic pleasure on that very first evening Jeongguk learned what it felt like to be yours - you're in a black dress.

Satin, he thinks. Something silky. It's short, like your dresses so often are, cutting off midway down your thighs. Fitted. Sweetheart neckline that blooms over the top of your chest, with sleeves that follow this same structured line. Shoulders fully exposed, there is a small tickle of satisfaction when Jeongguk notices your bird sitting prettily in place, right where it should be.

Even if you are annoyed, like he knows you are, you're keeping him close. It's more than can be said for last time. You've no intention of pushing him away or so it would seem. He takes comfort in this, a self-indulgent smile on his lips - until he realises and flattens them once more.

"S'fine," he just says as he locks his phone, as if his heart isn't beating all irregularly. "I'm sure she'll look nice."

Danbi glances over to Taehyung, who just rolls his eyes, and encourages her to show him more of her own options.

Jeongguk pretends to scroll through his phone. Is really just looking at that picture of you again. Hates the way it makes him feel. All fuzzy and out of sync. Perfectly safe and yet terrified all in the same fleeting moment.

Has him thinking about what he should wear, too, even if the other boys are telling Danbi that it really doesn't matter.

You look so well put together, he thinks. So intentionally gorgeous. He would say unintentionally , and knows you'd look just as gorgeous in one of his old shirts, but is well aware that you've put effort in. It should be appreciated.

It's decided - at two-thirty in the morning, all alone by himself, contents of his wardrobe piled onto the floor - that Jeongguk will also be wearing all black.

He will match you. It will be intentional. He will hope you notice.

'Cause even if he is a little pissed off with you, it doesn't matter. Had grown up with parents who'd bicker, but would always say 'there's no one else I'd rather argue with.'

He thinks the same could be said for the pair of you.

If your worst fears are confirmed, and you're forever tied to him, then it's something you'll need to learn to navigate. Neither of you are perfect, but neither of you are pretending to be. You're showing him exactly who you are by showing him nothing at all, right now.

And he adores you all the fucking same.

Jeongguk decides on black slacks, and will pair them with a thick belt. A satin shirt will be tucked in, unbuttoned just enough for a little bit of his chest to show. Nothing too indecent. Just wants to match your neckline.

The jacket he's chosen is red. Hopes it'll dare you to look at him, and prevent you from ever looking away. He's being bold, 'cause he stupidly thinks he needs to be, as if you won't be searching for solace in the form of him all night.

He also thinks he needs to consider the kind of man you want . The kind you need . You seem to go for the prim types. The proper. Well-dressed, well-groomed. He's got the outfit sorted. Knows he's being a little risky with the lack of a top button and tie, but he also knows he looks good - so fuck it.

Which is also what he says to his barber on the morning of the show.

"You've been growing it out for a while," she hums. Only re-permed it a couple of weeks ago. Hadn't been expecting him to come for a walk-in appointment so soon.

He shrugs. "Fuck it. It's just hair. It'll grow back."

She laughs, and tells him that he's right - but double-checks before she goes in with the clippers. He's not had anything so close to the scalp in about a year. Started growing it out around the same time you started showing up to the bar.

He braces himself. Grits his teeth. Don't let fear get the better of you.

"I'm sure."

Time stands still within the walls of the Ryu. Moments of life - fleeting expressions of biased emotions - are preserved for voyeuristic viewing pleasure. You're a guilty participant. Salivate over the mixed media, and equally mixed messages. Have a desire to understand. To decipher. To know.

The walls are dark. Slate grey when the floodlights are on, they look black under the diffused bulbs that focus solely on the works.

'Unplugged: The Lonely Hearts of the Digital Age' reads the exhibition branding on the front of the paper guide in your hand. There's an evocative nature to the pieces; an exploration of intimacy and isolation in the modern landscape of smartphones and high-speed internet.

"Oh, entirely," you smile pleasantly at the gentleman twice your age, who had come to stand beside you while you had been observing some of the work. He's been asking your thoughts, and you've been bullshitting spectacularly. "In a world where we're more connected than ever before, there somehow seems to be this... disconnect . A real lack of interpersonal relationships that stand the test of time."

He nods, half-moon glasses resting across the bridge of his short nose. "Too easy these days. Dating apps, and whatnot."

You cast your eyes down to the fingers he has wrapped around a champagne flute. He's without a ring. You wonder if he's a victim to them, too.

"The grass is greener mentality," you agree. Know all too well what it's like to be on the receiving end of such a dilemma. "Always searching for something... more."

A small chuckle emits from his thin lips as he continues to agree.

One of the serving staff, no older than a high school senior, offers their tray of champagne in your direction, but you decline. It's unusual of you - but it's no secret you've not been feeling exactly 'usual' lately.

From across the room, Jeongguk glances in your direction as you shake your hand and head, a polite smile on your lips as you refuse a drink. Your eyes don't flash to his, but he doesn't need them to.

When your gaze falls back to the artwork in front of you, he can easily see your perplexion.

He also notices how your skin doesn't sparkle like it usually does beneath gallery lights. A tight frown forms on his face to match yours.

The paintings you're looking at aren't Taehyung's. Jeongguk doesn't know the artist. Oil, he assumes from this distance. Hyperrealism. Enlarged. A matching pair with stark differences.

The first, to the left, is dark. Navy blues and deep purples depict the foils of condom wrappers, each with a name and date scrawled into them. They're scattered atop what looks like a legal document.

He can't work out the words from where he is. Doesn't realise they're divorce papers.

None of the wrappers match the name of the document, yet all of the wrappers are dated during the duration of the marriage.

On the right hand side, the other painting is clearly part of the same collection. A packet of oral contraception. 28 days worth. Includes the placebo days. Like the condoms, each empty window of the contraception has a name. Some repeating. Some not. There are no names written during the placebo week.

It begs the question; is the taker of the contraception just using the men when it's convenient for her? Or are they just using her when it's convenient for them, and leaving her in the dust when her body is unavailable?

You're not sure which scenario makes you sadder. Reminds you of this time last year. Reminds you of Seokjin. Reminds you of the people that you used to forget about him on the lonely nights.

If you were to think about your own pills, and the names that would inscribed, you know you'd have packet after packet with only one name. Everyday of the week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, every night. Over the placebo days, too.

Not because Jeongguk has been fucking you all day every day - although sometimes it does feel like that. No. It's not that all.

Instead, it would be because he gives you the intimacy you need to make those pills worth it. He doesn't have to constantly be in bed with you. Quite often isn't. It's just that you'll keep taking those pills 'cause you always want to be available for him in any capacity you can be. Those pills are his just as much as they are yours.

And you hate it.

Hate that you feel this way. Hate that indulging in such intimacy with the person you hold closest has resulted in such a clusterfuck of emotions. Hate that he isn't beside you right now, deciphering the names and making up ridiculous stories about the fictional people in front of you. Hate that when you glance over to his direction, you find him engaged in conversation with a group of people you consider friends, only to notice that Hayun is there, too.

Your arms fold a little tighter into your chest as your eyes fall back on the painting. You're alone, now, the man who had been chatting with you also now distracted by associates.

"Hey," a soft, feminine voice sounds next to you. Seoyeon. Hair loose, but with pretty little plaits running through it, she's wearing white trousers and a fitted blazer. Looks demure as ever. "You okay?"

A simple question that calls for a simple answer - yet it feels all rather complex.

You nod. Say you are. Return the question. She returns your answer.

"Gosh, that's depressing," she says of the artwork, and it makes you laugh. She's not wrong.

"Makes you feel something, at least," you offer, to which she hums in agreement.

"I suppose - but I was feeling perfectly happy before I saw it," she giggles, nudging your shoulder, seemingly aware of your less-than-stellar mood. "Watcha doing over here all alone?"

It's a great question. Fantastic question. Devastating answer.

Oh, so I've been fucking Jeongguk for months and he's convinced himself that I'm carrying his spawn and now he's mad at me because I haven't done the test to confirm nor deny. Oh why? Why I haven't done it? 'Cause it'll change the trajectory of my whole entire life and I'm fucking terrified. And I skip periods all the time. No biggie.

Now isn't the time for such honesties, though.

"Just wanted to read all the names," you say, nodding towards the art.

"See any you recognise?"

"Well, there is a Jimin on the first Wednesday," you grin.

"Why am I not surprised," Seoyeon laughs. "Our very own Casanova. Oh - speak of the devil!"

"Devil?" Jimin questions as he approaches you both with fresh champagne flutes in either hand. "Me? Please. You both know I'm an angel."

The way you incredulously both raise your eyebrows at him, bemused smirks on your faces, would suggest that no, you don't 'know' he's an angel.

"Oh, piss off," he laughs, standing between you both, offering you the champagne flutes. When you decline, he's curious. "Oh? Dry night?"

Nodding, you decide that you'll give as few answers as possible when it comes to your lack of drinking - not that it matters, given how much you've abused your body with star fuckers in recent weeks. Any damage is already, inevitably done.

"One of us needs to be the sensible one," you joke, and ignore the burning gaze you can feel from across the room.

His stare is sweltering, like early May heat after a freezing spring, regardless of the cool air that's currently circulating around the room.

It's stuffy, the way his eyes follow you. Suffocating.

And yet you love the warmth. Want evidence of him on your skin like the burn of a summer sun.

Turning your head as Seoyeon and Jimin natter, you're surprised to find his shamelessly dark eyes still on you.

Hair pushed back, he's wearing it shorter than usual. It takes you a moment to realise it's been cut. You think a part of you dies from such a devastating loss - but it's revitalised within the same millisecond. It's criminal how handsome he looks. How mature he seems. Jaw tense, bone structure highlighted, he's a vision. Heaven. Ethereal.

Matching your all black attire, there's one keen difference. One that throws you off entirely: his jacket. It's one you've never seen before. Red. A kaleidoscope of different tones. Dappled, they bleed into one another. You can tell it's expensive. Tell it's being worn with a purpose.

It's unusual for him, and yet he holds a beauty that can only be compared to that of Venus herself. The jacket was made for him.

But you don't like the idea that maybe actually it was made for him, by the only seamstress you know. See no other reason for him to own such an item.

Stupidly, it upsets you how good red looks on him. Pisses you off.

Across the circle of people he stands with is the seamstress herself.

Just as you match him with your silky black dress, she matches him with her scarlet nails and deep ruby cocktail number. Gorgeous in the way that her hair effortlessly waves over her shoulders, she pays your judgemental eyes no notice.

They look good together. Like they belong. A good girl. Upper class. Bad boy. Her bit of 'rough'. Jeongguk likes a good Romeo and Juliet type story. You're sure he loves the romanticisation of their coupling.

So caught up in your own head, you almost miss the way Jimin deliberately chooses to include you in on the conversation once more. Just asks your opinion on the piece, then asks if you know the artist. He wants to check that he's not the Jimin scrawled into the pill packet.

"I'll find out," you promise him - but you're certain he's not. Park Jimin isn't exactly the most unique of names, but you don't want to hurt his ego.

"Legend," he grins, before roping Namjoon in for his opinion on whether or not it's his name.

"It's nothing to be proud of," Namjoon assure him. "If it's you, you're being branded as a hit it and quit it kinda guy. You're only on there once. Most of them are on their a few times. You not good enough for round two?"

Scoffing, Jimin looks to you for defence.

You just smile. Make your excuses and leave. Bless him.

As beautiful as the show is, there's a sadness to it. It revives unpleasant memories. Provokes parts of your brain that have been well trained to not make a noise.

Schmoozing with some of the higher ups from Shilla finances, you're going for the hard sell. Telling them all about Taehyung, and how he's hotly tipped to be one of the most successful artists of this generation.

It's all bullshit, of course, but someone has to have that title. Why shouldn't it be him?

"He certainly does have a gift," one of the older men acknowledges. His name evades you now, but you remember him from networking events with Seokjin. Would always treat the serving staff with kindness, which is more than could be said for most of them. It's the only reason you're entertaining the conversation - the other men you recognise from those events have been avoided by you at all costs.

You're about to call Taehyung over, when the looming intrusion of a bowing gentleman makes itself known in your personal space. It's his presence you notice first. Aftershave second. Stoic, burly voice third.

"Director Choi," he interjects from behind you. "It's good to see you here."

Smiling, with just as much kindness as he shows to everyone, Choi nods back. "Kim Seokjin! I didn't realise you'd be here tonight."

"Ah, well," Seokjin smiles. You can hear it in his tone, even if you daren't turn to face him. Your skin suddenly chills as his large hands rest over the tops of your bare shoulders. "Was back in town, and couldn't miss it. You're speaking with the city's best curator."

The way he squeezes your shoulders, skin on skin, makes you want to be sick. It's as if you've had far too much of the champagne you've been turning down all evening - but your stomach is empty. All you'd be able to do is gag.

Yet your body is entirely frozen.

And neither of the men care enough to notice.

"It's quite the collection," Choi nods, but doesn't keep his focus on you. Like the serving staff, he's always polite to you, but will always see you as a second-class citizen. You're not a man. He doesn't respect you. As human? Yes, he does. But as a person? Why would he waste his time if he can't profit off of you? "Tell me Seokjin, how have you been? I hear your department is up by 3.7% this week?"

The conversation around you is stuffy, like that sticky summer heat clinging to your skin once more. It's unpleasant, but inescapable. There's nothing you can do, except let it ruin you.

One breath in; through the nose. One breath out; through the mouth.

Repeat.

One breath in; through the nose. One breath out; through the mouth.

There's a squeeze of Seokjin's hands; a silent instruction to not move your shoulders so much.

Half a breath in. Half a breath out.

You've an inability to focus on anything other than basic survival.

In the times you've seen Seokjin since the breakup, he's always been so good at acting as if it never happened. He touches you just the same. Speaks with just as much fondness that always made you think you actually meant something to him.

For so long, you wished he would be like that with you in public. Would proudly claim you as his own.

But now that he is, all you want is for him to look at you with remorse. Regret.

Sort of like Jeongguk is doing, as he spots you from across the room. Was just doing his quarter-of-an-hourly checks to make sure you're still okay - even if he is annoyed with you. Thinks that anyone who has ever spent even a smidgeon of time with you should know that the look in your eyes is far from okay.

They're downcast. To the floor. Your nostrils flare ever so gently as you inhale. Mouth forms a delicate pout as you exhale. Breathing exercises. He recognises them instantly. They're the same ones Jeongguk does when he's frustrated and trying his damn hardest to not break another display case.

It's been working lately. Not a permanent fix, no, but it's been going okay. Has finally been reading one of Namjoon's self-help books that's been on his bedside table for months. Fills the time that should be spent on you doing that, instead.

But Jeongguk thinks all of his hard work might just go down the fucking drain when he realises what's happening. When he notices exactly who has a possessive grip on you. When, from across the room, he hears Seokjin laughing at some vapid joke that he knows mustn't be even remotely funny.

"Hey, Dan," he calls over to your best friend, breaking her from her conversation with Taehyung. When she looks at Jeongguk, she follows the direction in which he nods.

She gasps. Drops her hold on Taehyung's forearm, and doesn't hesitate to beeline straight for you.

Jeongguk knows it should have been him - but he also knows you're stubborn. Knows you might have chosen to stay put just to spite him. Also knows that stress if bad for the body. Says so in another one of those webMD tabs open on his phone. You're stressed enough as it is. Don't need him causing a scene. Danbi is what you need right now.

Not him.

But he needs air - so heads out towards the stairwell and just keeps on going up. Up and up, until there's nowhere left to go. Closer and closer to the stars. Further and further away from his very own.

Elbows resting on the wall of the rooftop, Jeongguk lets a deep-rooted sigh exhale from his body. Lungs heavy in his chest, he's in need of respite - yet even that seems like an unattainable goal these days.

He wishes to be back in Busan; where the sun shines and so do you.

The darkness of the city envelopes him, now, much like it obscures his heart. Confuses it. Tells him all sorts of lies. She loves you. She loves you not. She loves you. She loves you not. He's not sure what's the truth, anymore.

He's not plucked at daisy petals since he was a kid, but he does occasionally pull glitter from his skin. That's when the rhyme repeats. That's how he knows he only has space in his heart for you.

And so when the bustling sound of the city is interrupted by a voice that isn't yours, he frowns.

"Watcha doing up here, buddy?"

The roll of Jeongguk's eyes is so damn weighted he's surprised it doesn't sound like stones are being turned. Of all the people he wants to be alone with right now, Hayun would be towards the bottom of the list. Likely beaten only by your shitbag of an ex.

"Needed some air," he lies. Doesn't look at her as she takes the space beside him, then shuffles over a little. Doesn't wanna touch her. The intrusion of her perfume is enough to make him feel sick. Has done ever since she approached him in the courtyard of Dionysus.

"Could have gone for a smoke with Tae," she says all rather pleasantly.

Jeongguk is well aware of this. Truth be told, he could do with a cigarette. Could do with many things right now.

Could do with a few shots, or even a high. MDMA, maybe. Something that'll have him thinking death is inevitable before he manages to reach his come up. Could spend the whole night pinging. Wouldn't have to think about you, or your ex, or the fact his heart already feels like it's got a little ecstasy running through it these days.

But you're not drinking, and so Jeongguk isn't smoking. Is finally actually trying to make some good decisions for a change, to atone for all of his questionable ones.

He shakes his head. Bunches his face up ever so slightly. Is dismissive as he simply says, "Didn't fancy it."

Just like he doesn't fancy engaging in this conversation.

She nods, pretending to care. Fabricating a persona that matches how awfully pretty she is. "You don't seem like yourself."

Mentally, Jeongguk sneers. Physically, he remains unchanged. Statuesque.

"You've been saying that ever since you came back," he eventually sighs. Looks over to her. Doesn't mean to be so cold, but frankly no longer has the patience. "You can't fuck people over and expect them to welcome you back with open arms. Doesn't work like that, Yun."

Hayun's laugh is parasitic. Gets under his skin. Crawls about. Makes him feel sick. His body rejects it.

"She's inside your head," is all she says. "Never used to be like this before she came around."

In the far distance, a police siren sounds. It's swallowed up by the fumes of rattling exhaust pipes and the posing arrival of planes from foreign lands. In a city that never rests, Jeongguk thinks it mad that Hayun expected him to remain exactly as he was.

Doesn't even register what she says about you. Pays it no attention.

"I don't wanna keep doing this, Hayun," Jeongguk says quietly.

It's strange, because he knows it's the 'right' thing to do, but it still doesn't feel entirely correct.

Years of knowing her - of loving her - have been reduced to nothing but resentment and wasted time. Everything he experienced with her equates to emptiness. The good - of which there was plenty - and the bad - of which there was marginally more.

"What do you mean?" she asks, as if she doesn't already know.

"I don't wanna pretend like we're still friends," he simply states. "It's doing nobody any favours."

It's something he should have said a long time ago. Something he's known for far longer than he's wanted to admit. Something Jimin has been telling him for years.

"Gguk," she tries, and reaches out for his hand - but Jeongguk tears it away from her.

"No," he reaffirms. Is setting boundaries. Is being as firm with her as he wishes you'd be with Seokjin. He keeps his voice measured. Sensible. Wastes no more energy than is needed. "I'll be perfectly cordial with you, but I'm not gonna act like we're anything more than strangers. Said it yourself, you don't know who I am these days. Please stop trying to find whoever you think I used to be."

"So I guess the marriage pact is vetoed?" She tries to joke. Thinks that making light of the situation will ease things. Make them less awkward.

He doesn't dignify her with a direct response to that. Instead, he stands a little straighter. Taps his ringed fingers against the wall so that a clunky pat sounds against the urethane coating that covers the entire roof area. Turns to face her. Looks down upon her. "I'm asking you nicely, Hayun - but if I have to ask again, I won't be."

There's nothing she can say to reel him back in. Not anymore. Not like she used to. She knows this. Hates this.

But one thing Hayun refuses to ever do is embarrass herself. Not for a man. Especially not for one she didn't even want that badly in the first place.

That's exactly the issue at hand, though. He was always the one chasing her. Always. Must have worn through a hundred pairs of shoes in pursuit of her - but he's stopped running now, and she can't quite wrap her head around it.

"Okay," she simply says. Smiles. It's insincere. Jeongguk doesn't realise this, 'cause it looks like every other fuckin' smile she's ever cast his way. "Look, emotions are high. I won't take this to heart. Whenever you're ready, you know where to find me."

Glancing over to the door, Hayun's ruby-red lips falter. Her smile almost cracks, but she holds herself well.

"Oh, goodie," Hayun hums. "Suppose I should leave you to it."

Jeongguk doesn't follow her gaze. Knows that there's only one person who could evoke such a reaction - and right now, he's annoyed with you, too.

He does, at least, say, "I suppose you should."

It's not until Hayun begins to strut away that Jeongguk turns to the door. Not to watch her walk away, no.

To watch you walk towards him, instead - but you don't.

You stay leant against the door frame. There's a sultry smile on your lips, and he's surprised to see they move a little as Hayun approaches. He can't hear you, but he knows your lips almost better than he knows his own. Can work out exactly what you're saying.

Lipstick's a little smudged.

Jeongguk knows that it absolutely is not - but the way Hayun's hand lifts to her lips suggests that she doesn't know this.

It's evident you're trying to evoke some sort of insecurity in her. Seems to have worked. Also seems to be incredibly mean-spirited - but he's not gonna hold it against you. Knows that it's the least Hayun deserves. It's not like he was exactly kind to Seokjin upon meeting him, either.

The sounds of the city echo out around you as a small breeze carries the scent of the trees that are finally starting to rebloom after a harsh winter. There's hope to be found in the darkness of this night. The promise of rebirth.

Or at least there is, until you begin to make excuses to leave.

"Just came up for some air," you explain, not looking to engage in conversation with him. If anything, you just feel like you're losing your breath.

He nods. Purses his lips. Turns away from you. Hopes you'll come to join him.

There's a you-sized spot right beside him. Hayun had tried forcing her way in, but the fit just wasn't right.

His broad shoulders widen as his elbows rest back upon the wall, body silhouetted in the skyline. Something about him today feels so new. So different. Maybe it's just the hair - but hair holds history. You feel like he's cut you out of his. Is starting afresh, maybe.

Whatever the case, he's clearly not concerned in inviting you into his current narrative. Is quite literally blocking you out.

You had arrived to find him locked in conversation with Hayun. Engaged. He'd watched her walk away, and the moment she was gone, couldn't stand the sight of you, or so it seems.

And so as Jeongguk waits - wishes - for you to walk towards him and slink your arm around his waist, you decide to cut your losses. Hadn't even come up to the roof to see him. Had been hoping to be alone after the whole Seokjin debacle.

It's not like you hadn't known Seokjin would be in attendance tonight.

He had messaged you to confirm the date. You just hadn't expected him to waltz in like a proud partner, parading you around in front of his colleagues.

So yeah, you had been shocked. Had been unable to respond in a way that accurately conveyed how you felt. Had panicked. Had cried in the storage room that Danbi had dragged you into while she gave you a pep talk and wiped away your stray tears, before suggesting you get some air.

You wonder if perhaps she knew Jeongguk would be here. Seems likely, knowing her.

Your lip trembles as you go to speak, unspoken words vibrating between them. There's no sound. Just the city. The cars, and the revellers from a bar a few blocks down. Jazz music echoing up the stairs to the rooftop, too.

And then there's Jeongguk's voice. Quiet. Controlled. Commanding.

"The first bird," he says. Looks down as he does so. Builds his confidence, then turns around to look at you. Is displeased to see your body facing away from him now, about to walk away - as if you hadn't instantly turned your head to look at him. "The first one. We went to the water park. Some guy looked at you in a way you didn't like, and you went straight on over and told him to stop being a perv. Remember?"

Of course you do.

But you say nothing. Do nothing. Just turn your body. Let him know you're listening. He continues.

"You know your limits, B. You know your boundaries."

You nod, now. Still stay silent.

Jeongguk's jaw grates, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. You're avoiding his confrontation, just like you've been avoiding all talks of anything serious since that day at the cafe.

And it's pissing him off.

"So why do you let him overstep them?" Jeongguk continues - and finally, this accusation gets a rise from you.

"I don't let him do anything," you scoff - and then you accuse. "You're the one I've just found hiding up on the rooftop with your ex. What about those boundaries, huh?"

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. Turns away from you. Looks out over the city, and wishes it would swallow him whole. "You've got no fuckin' idea, B. No idea."

"So then tell me!" You say, as if it's as easy as reciting your ABC's. "I'm not a mind reader-"

"And nor am I!" He says sternly, but doesn't raise his voice any higher than yours. "You've spent half the week ignoring me, only for you to barely even look at me now. You're not even wearing any glitter -"

"Why does that even matter?" You interrupt, unsure exactly of what he's trying to say.

Is the lack of glitter intentional? Yes.

Is it for the reasons he assumes? Probably not.

"'Cause we both know he fuckin' hates it," he snaps, decidedly far more pissed off now that he's speaking his thoughts into existence. "We both know you didn't wear it because of him in the past. So for you to show up with no glitter? Let him leech all over you? After he sent you all those fucking roses, and you won't fucking talk to me? Tell me what I'm supposed to think, huh?"

"Why does it even matter to you?" You fight back. It takes two to tango, and he seems to know the steps pretty fucking well. "You've been ignoring me too-"

"It matters to me because you might be fucking pregnant, B!"

Silence shatters around you both. Steals any words that could be said in the wake of such a declaration.

You roll your eyes. Do a fantastic job at pretending as if you don't feel like your world is caving in on itself.

"No, you don't get to treat me like I'm being irrational when you've been drinking cranberry juice all evening," he scathes, the frustrated gestures of his hands letting you know just how upset he is - and rightly so. "You don't get to act like you've not been thinking about it too."

"We don't even know if I'm pregnant-"

"And who's fault is that?!

"Gguk-"

"No, you're being such an asshole about this, B. This doesn't affect just you. This affects me too, okay?

Shaking his head, Jeongguk turns away from you. The way you're behaving is so unlike you, or so he thought. Maybe he didn't know you as well as he thought. Maybe he did get wrapped up in fallacies of you; in the what if.

"I fucking defended you," he says quietly. Isn't even sure if you can hear him. Doesn't care. Shakes his head and lets it dip between his disappointed shoulders. You'd be forgiven for think he was giving his next words careful thought. In all reality, he just starts ranting. "When he was at the tennis club, and was chatting shit, I defended you. Me . And yet you're more concerned with keeping up appearances for him ."

"You did what ?"

Now that he's started, Jeongguk can't stop. Not when he turns around. Not when he looks at you. Not when he starts to walk towards you.

"I insinuated we were together to get him to shut the fuck up," Jeongguk scoffs, thinking about his former self. Is embarrassed, now. Is letting his frustrations show because fuck it . He's hurting . Feels like a deer bleeding out on the side of a road, left to rot by some asshole driver who rammed straight into him at a hundred miles per hour. "So he's out here, showing up to your event, putting moves on you - even though he thinks you're with someone else - and you're fucking giving him the green light. Real fuckin' nice of him. A stand up guy. Respect must be his middle name. You really know how to pick 'em, B."

"Literally, how was I supposed to know any of that?!" You ask, eyes wide, brows furrowed. These new revelations are just as devastating as they are infuriating. All you can do is repeat a previous sentiment. "I'm not a fucking mind reader!"

But Jeongguk's irate now. Comical, almost, in how he downplays his anger.

"Oh, well, forgive me for assuming that you wouldn't bend to your exes every fucking whim!" He exclaims, a sarcastic smile on his face that snaps to a scowl within an instant. "I didn't think it was important because I thought you were beyond that point-"

"You're being cruel," you interrupt him, because he is. He knows how hard you've worked. Has been with you every step of the way - but this is how he views you?

"Me?" He laughs. It's cold.

"Yes," you say. "You."

"Nah." He shakes his head. Casts his eyes to the floor, 'cause looking at you like this only makes him feel even more frustrated with the current state of affairs. "Cruel is what Seokjin's doing right now - but you're giving him a free pass."

"I'm not. I don't want him leeching all over me," you say quietly, ashamed, turning away from him as you walk across the roof. Crouching, you bundle yourself up protectively, as if it'll make a difference. As if you can shield yourself from your friendship with Jeongguk as it comes crashing down on you both.

The only thing that makes any fucking sense to either of you right now is that you'd do it all again.

He'd ruin the friendship a million times over.

Not because he doesn't care, or because he's okay with losing you. Quite the opposite.

He'd ruin the friendship because - fuck it - that isn't what this is. The friendship flew out the window months ago. Maybe he was too late to realise it. Maybe he should have tried to claw it back in - but what use would that have been? It would have been wounded. Scratched to smithereens. Damaged.

Standing up straight, you curse at the sky. Are saddened by how few stars are out. Feels like they're shying away. Maybe they're ashamed, too.

"I have to head back," you say. Are defeated as you turn to face Jeongguk. "Tae's doing his speech, soon."

Jeongguk nods. Looks to the floor. Doesn't want you to go. Knows he hasn't exactly done anything to make it worth staying.

Both struggling with the current state of affairs, there's no one to blame. Joint bad decisions have led you here.

But he wants you close. Wants things to feel normal. Is willing to do anything.

"Look, your ex is down there being a prick," Jeongguk sighs. He waits for a moment. Lets you work out what he's gonna say in your own head. Wants to see your reaction before any of his bias comes into play. "He thinks we're together.... The best way to get him off your back?"

Your lips part ever so slightly. A crease forms between your brows, but your eyes remain kind. "Gguk..."

Shrugging, he plays off the weight of a suggestion he hasn't even vocalised yet. "He thinks we're together. Makes sense for us to act like we are."

For reasons you can't explain, the idea of other people seeing you and Jeongguk act intimately towards one another fills you with fear. It's not like it's an abhorrent thing - but to see the way your friends look at you as you present yourselves as a couple is to see their genuine reaction to it. If they're disgusted, you'll know that you're not suited. If they're elated, it will only play into these weird feelings that you've been having and are so desperately trying to avoid.

Eyes scanning him, you try and work out what he thinks of it all. If he's disgusted, you could probably live with that.

If he's elated?

Makes you feel queasy. Scared.

He holds out his hand. Knocks his head to the side. "C'mon. Face those fears of yours. Hold my hand."

It's bizarre, how Jeongguk has quite literally licked your arse, and yet this feels like the most obscene thing he's ever asked of you.

When you arrive back in the main room, Jeongguk stands behind you, ever so slightly to the side. Loops his arm around your waist. It's unintentional, the way his hand comes to rest over your stomach. Fingers splayed, he pulls your back to his chest, and you pretend like you're able to stand up straight without his support. Pretend as if the world around you isn't caving in on itself.

It wouldn't matter, even if it was. You're safe here. Safe with him.

And yet you insist on pushing him away.

"I wouldn't stand like this with a boyfriend," you say. "Too overbearing."

"Well, I would stand with a girlfriend like this," he assures you. The fingers that aren't firmly keeping your stomach protected come to your chin. Encourage it to the side. Get you looking at him. "I'd stand with her like this," he whispers, glances behind you so briefly that you almost miss it. "And when her ex boyfriend is looking in our direction - of which he is now - I'd kiss her."

"That wouldn't be very professional," you whisper.

"No," he acknowledges. "I don't suppose it would be."

He pulls away.

"I'll let you get on," he says. "The second he even so much as breathes in your direction, you come to me."

"Gguk-"

"You make your excuses and you come to me."

"I can handle it."

"Fine then," he shrugs. Begins to turn away, but makes sure to say, "I'll come to you."

And despite the deep-rooted need for you to prove yourself, there's a stranger sitting next to your determination. She goes by the name of Desire. And all she does is fucking laugh.

As Jeongguk rejoins his usual crowd, he's met with silence.

"Hmm?" He hums, reaching over for the glass Jimin is holding. Doesn't know what he's drinking. Doesn't ask. Downs it. Hands it back. "What are we talking about?"

Mouths a little ajar, neither Taehyung nor Danbi quite know what to make of what's happening, nor the foul mood that so clearly has a grip on their friend.

"Riveting," Jeongguk says sarcastically, when the silence lasts for a little too long. "No, really. Please go on."

But then, right on cue, Seokjin is heading in your direction, and Jeongguk may as well be bleeding through his tear ducts, given how red his sight is.

Bolting for you, Jeongguk almost knocks into one of the waiting staff. Spends a short moment apologising, then makes sure to interact with the people standing behind you. Has never seen them before in his life. Has no idea who they are - yet he greets them like old friends. Wants Seokjin to question his place. Wants him to think that Jeongguk is so much more important than he actually is.

And when he arrives to find Seokjin already speaking with you?

Yeah. Ain't no way he's letting him win.

Jeongguk does not give a fuck. Does not care about the opinions of anyone else. The world around him is burning red, flames that refuse to flicker out - and you crash through them like a beam of white light. A shooting star that offers the promise of something better. Something new.

Imposing in his stance, Jeongguk comes to stand beside you. Offers his hand out to Seokjin.

"Ah! Seojoon," he says, deliberately getting the wrong name, and not caring that maybe it's indicative of the fact your former fling has also been on his mind. Fine! Maybe he's obsessed with the fact other people have more of a claim on your romantic history than he does. Sue him. "We met at the golf course, remember?"

Seokjin doesn't correct Jeongguk on the incorrect name, nor the incorrect location. Knows exactly what he's doing. Shakes his hand.

"Jeongguk, yes. You had to run off pretty quick, no? Didn't get a chance to rally."

Oh, but we did, Jeongguk thinks. Knows it's a good job he didn't stick around. Would have probably thrown a racquet at Seokjin's face. Accidentally.

"Mm," Jeongguk nods. Protectively grips the nape of your neck. "Had plans. Maybe next time."

Seokjin nods. "Maybe."

The tension between the men is getting thicker.

Soon, you won't be able to breathe.

So you smile towards your ex, and say, "Excuse us."

Which only serves to piss Jeongguk off. This is your shot. Your chance to show Seokjin how little you care - and instead, you want to run away. Un-fucking-believable.

Still he smiles at Seokjin, as if he knows something that he doesn't. Wants him questioning this interaction for weeks. Regretting. Lamenting.

"See you around," Jeongguk says pleasantly, as you lead him down the hallway, your pace getting angrier with each step. He rolls his eyes. Knows you're gonna wanna fight, and thinks fuck it. Will just let it happen this time. Can't be fucked with keeping the peace.

The janitor's closet you had visited with Danbi is down this hallway, and it's where you're headed. Want privacy. Need it.

Especially 'cause Jeongguk's spouting off like a facetious twat before you're even inside. "Worst fake girlfriend I've ever had."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to pretend to be your fucking girlfriend!" You hiss quietly once you're inside, as Jeongguk knocks across the latch on the door, as if anyone else would even think to be in a janitor's closet right now.

You only know the door passcode from when you had been setting up, and even that was a lucky guess. Had just tried the code that works for another door in the gallery when Danbi had dragged you here, too.

"Well, it's not that fucking hard!" He hisses back, trying the handle just to make sure it doesn't open.

"Apparently it is!" You reply childishly.

Turning to face you, Jeongguk is obscured by the lack of light coming in through the small window on the back wall. You can barely see one another, 'cause neither of you have flicked the light on - and quite frankly, you don't want to. It's easier to fight when you can't see how delicate he looks, or how handsome his jaw is when it flexes out of frustration.

"Oh fuck off," he laughs, but it isn't humorous. "Even the caricature artist in Busan had to ask if we were a couple. We are perfectly capable of looking like one."

"I'm sure she asks everyone that!"

"Oh, piss off-"

"Fine!" You say defiantly, barging past him. If he wants you to piss off, then you will. He's the one who got you into this mess. Frankly, you don't give a shit at this point - but the door won't budge. Lock won't move. You yank on the door, as if that will help.

For all of Jeongguk's internalised frustration, he smirks, now. Folds his arm. Perches his ass on the counter by the sink.

Trying to prize the latch open, you're stupidly worried about breaking a nail - but you refuse to ask for help. Look to the side for something you can use for leverage. Can only see mops. Half think about throwing one at Jeongguk.

He doesn't interrupt your struggle. Doesn't tell you that there's a second latch towards the top of the door.

"If you don't let me out, then God help me, Jeongguk, I will scream," you threaten. "I will scream so fucking loudly that everyone hears, and then I'll let you explain why you wouldn't let me out."

Jeongguk laughs. "Go on then."

But you don't. You won't. This is somewhere you hope to work, one day. You can't risk embarrassing yourself over something as pathetic as this.

If you do, then it means Seokjin has won.

Jeongguk is many things. He's frustrating, and confusing, and yet simple and straightforward. He's an oxymoron, and on occasion, just a moron. At the crux of his identity though, is a good human. There is one thing he is not, and that is cruel.

So he stands. Sighs. Walks towards you and leans up to the latch you've neglected to touch. Puts a hand on your waist to steady himself, not that he really needs to. Pulls the lock free. Doesn't let go of your waist, but he isn't keeping you trapped. You're free to fly.

And yet you stay put, breath hitched in your throat, time standing still for a moment.

"Go," Jeongguk says quietly, his raspy voice affecting you in ways that it shouldn't be right now.

But to go would be to give him what he wants - and you absolutely do not want to do that.

Most importantly, you don't want to leave. Would gladly fight with him right now, 'cause at least you're actually talking.

"You go," you reply childishly.

"Me?" He laughs. Comes a little closer. Practically whispers in your ear. "B, you're the one who wanted to go. So, go."

"Maybe I've changed my mind."

He scoffs. "Fine."

It's a childish back and forth. One of you needs to grow up, and take control of the situation - and as Jeongguk's hand grips your waist a little tighter and spins you round, it's evident who is taking that role.

There's a dominant assertion to the way he moves you. You've seen this side of him a few times, but it never fails to take your breath away.

Hands pinned above your head all rather suddenly, a single one of his palms can keep both of your wrists suspended. It's always driven you a little wild before - but he's pissing you off. Every little thing he does will annoy you, now. Even the sexy shit.

In fact, especially the sexy shit.

The hand of his that isn't clamped around your wrists comes to the base of your throat, and you can't help but gasp a little in surprise.

His voice is deep and low as he tells you to 'say chess.'

But you shake your head. Won't do a damn thing he tells you. "No."

He grips tighter. "Tell me to stop."

"No."

"Fine then," he husks. Presses his knee between your thighs. Spreads them. Drops the hand from your throat to your hips. Get you positioned just right. Pulls you further up his thigh. Encroaches on your personal space.

"Stop acting like you don't know how to fake things." His voice is dulcet. "Your ex should be pretty used to it."

"Hardly the same thing, is it?" You hiss back, but Jeongguk laughs, and presses a kiss to the side of your ear. Then the lobe. Then beneath your ear. Down your throat. Stops only once he reaches your collarbone. Raises his eyes. Looks directly at you.

"I'm gonna make you cum," he tells you with arrogant certainty. "For real. You're not gonna fake that. Gonna make you cum, and then you're gonna hold my hand in front of your ex-boyfriend and fake that like a good girl."

The energy he's radiating is electric; the right amount of jealousy and desire making you the only thing his brain can focus on for longer than a second at a time.

"Gguk-" you gasp as he pushes your hips down. The leverage is crappy, the angle not quite right, but the intention is there.

Jeongguk glances over his shoulder, to check he wasn't imagining the chair he swore he noticed earlier, and almost thanks the God he doesn't believe in when his eyes land on it.

He turns back to face you. Lets your hands drop from above your head. Cups your jaw. Brushes his lips against yours.

"You're gonna be a good girl for me, aren't you, B?" He says, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips. Doesn't it let it linger. You don't get a chance to kiss him back, for he's moving you both to the chair. He sits, legs parted, and gets you straddled across his thigh. You're right where he wants you. "You're gonna ride my thigh and cum like a good fuckin' girl."

The satin of your panties rubs against his slacks without him even trying.

Hands beneath your dress, he squeezes at the flesh of your ass, spreading you. Pulls you up his thigh. Lets you build a motion. Encourages it.

He doesn't complain when your hands tangle in his hair. It surprises you at first, just how short it is. You've never experienced it like this. It almost distracts you from what's actually happening.

But then one of his hands comes to toy with your chest as you continue to ride his thigh. The neckline makes it so fucking easy for him. He gets you exposed, but doesn't keep it that way for long. Latches onto your nipple as soon as he fucking can. Groans against you, and then the sensation of his vibrating tongue forces the wetness to seep from your cunt.

Your rhythm against his thigh is well-established, now. Both of his hands are free to tug down on the top of your dress.

It's a pretty dress. Gorgeous, in fact, and you look incredible in it - but all he wants to do is take it off. Wants you naked.

For now, he'll settle with your satin-covered cunt rubbing up against him, and your tits nice and exposed for him to toy with. He's using you for his own gratification, and you're doing just the same.

His tongue flicks against your nipples, hands squeezing your tits firmly together. He sucks. Squeezes. Grazes his teeth. Makes you feel so fucking good. Part of you thinks he'll get you cumming just from the contact of his lips with your hardened nipples - but the way his strong thigh is acting as the perfect ridge? Fuck .

"I'm close," you promise as the pleasure trickles through your bloodstream like warm honey. Sweet, and delicate, there's something about orgasms earned by Jeongguk that always makes you feel like you've ascended. Heaven really is a place on earth. Remarkably, it appears to be in a janitor's closet with all of your closest friends just down the hallway.

Jeongguk nods. Slowly pulls away from your nipples, the suction so pleasurable you can't help but whine. "I won't stop you."

He means it. Keeps your nipples wet with his spit, tongue lapping against them, as your hips buck against him. Your whines get a little deeper. Friction stronger. Breaths needier.

And then, as soon as your body begins to shudder that tell-tale way, he lets his tongue loose.

"That's it, beautiful," he husks. Looks at you with stark adorned eyes. "Come on me like the pretty slut you are. What would they think, huh? If everyone here knew what you were doing? Be louder, baby. Let them know. Let them know how much you like to cum for me."

You whimper his name as your grind begins to ease - but Jeongguk doesn't let it. Uses both of his hands. Grabs your ass. Is intentional with the way he bounces his thigh up against you, forcing the sensation to jolt through you once more. Elbows on his shoulders, head buried in the crook of his neck, you're whining as he overstimulates you.

"God, I'll cum again," you tell him, teeth grazing his neck. He kinda likes the pain. Likes that he'll be waking up with a hickie, no doubt.

"Good," he grits. Is rough with your body. Wants that second orgasm, and he wants it now.

"Gguk-" you whimper, but can't manage to say anything more, the wave of pleasure taking over you so much faster. Chest heaving, you're unable to do anything other than languidly grind until your body stops. Hearts beating in sync, Jeongguk is so overwhelmed by how good it is to feel you come undone for him, he almost doesn't notice the way you begin to palm his incredibly hard crotch.

"Shit," he hisses. This was supposed to be about you. He shouldn't be letting you do this - and yet he's reaching for his belt. Is frantic as he unbuckles. Opens up his pants. Takes over from you. Dips his hands into his underwear. Wraps his hand around his hard, leaky cock. Smears the precum from his tip all over his head. Wants it in your mouth - but has other, more pressing ideas. "Can you stand for me, baby?"

Barely. Shaky on your legs, you do your best. Let him guide you - thankfully, to the door. Back pressed against it, Jeongguk gets you to hold the skirt of your dress up. Pushes your panties down, but only just enough to expose a small amount of your cunt. They're still around the top of your thighs, slick with evidence of your orgasm.

Jeongguk lines himself up. Rests the head of his cock against the edge of your underwear. Tells you, "I'm gonna cum in them. Gonna cum in your panties, and then you're gonna wear them all fuckin' evening."

"Please," is all you pathetically whimper.

It doesn't take long for him to get there. He's been worked up all week. He wanks himself off for you. Whines. Whispers shit about how hot you are. How much he likes doing shit like this.

Jeongguk grips onto your arm as his climax hits. Body doubling, he has no choice but to let his forehead rest on your shoulder.

"I'm cumming. Fuck. Fuck," Jeongguk curses. Tilts his head. Presses a wet kiss to the base of your neck as his body jolts and the first rope of cum spurts into your underwear. "Fuck, baby."

"That's it," you encourage, obsessed with the way he's whimpering, body all weak and feeble as it shakes for you.

He groans now. Grips his cock even tighter. Milks himself for all he's worth. Fucking ruins your underwear. Lets the top of his cock rub up against your clit. Massages your slick and his cum together. "Fuck."

When he finally pulls away, he says nothing. Immediately pulls his pants up as if he can't believe what he's just done, then pulls your panties up, too. Hooks the sides over your hips, pulling the mess he's made tightly to your soaked cunt. Cups his hand over your heat. Presses. Rubs. Teases little circles over your clit. Presses down more firmly. Builds speed.

"Gguk," you whine, grabbing onto his shoulders.

"Again, baby," he says softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Cum again for me."

"I can't," you whine, the overstimulation about to kick in - but he dismisses it. Knows that if you wanted him to stop, you'd say 'chess'.

"You can, baby," he promises. Uses the hand that isn't massaging your clit to angle your jaw. Doesn't even think as he steals a pretty little kiss from your lips. Doesn't realise it begins to send you over the edge. "You're gonna cum like you're mine."

And how can you do anything else but succumb to his demands?

Lips on his, brows furrowed together, he swallows all of your pretty little whines, as your body shudders for him. He keeps you steady. Keeps you supported. Keeps his tongue in your mouth, and his hand rubbing your panties. Doesn't ease up until you pull away from his lips.

"Gguk," you pant. "Please."

Nodding, he eases slowly. Doesn't wanna let go too quickly. Keeps kissing you. Won't stop that. Never wants to stop that. Is still annoyed with you, yes, but knows he has a duty of care, now. Also knows he'd never forgive himself if he didn't take every chance he gets to kiss you.

When he finally pulls away, forehead resting against yours, he's spent. You're both panting, both struggling to formulate any words in the wake of such a devastating orgasm.

Brushing a few strands of hair back from your face, Jeongguk closes his eyes. Nudges his nose against yours. Shows a little restraint. Whispers, "You've got a show to return to."

Nodding, you shake a little from his grip. Say nothing as you adjust your dress. Try your best to ignore the thick pool of his cum that's gathered in your panties. The tops of your thighs will end up smeared in the evidence of him, and, quite disgustingly, it only serves to make you even more turned on.

"I'll follow behind you," he promises as he begins to sort himself out, too.

Nodding, you're a little unsure of exactly what to do. You're scared that someone will know. That you'll leak.

"I'm scared," you admit. Explain your worry. He rolls his eyes, but smiles as he does, so.

He tugs on your hands, and props you up against the counter towards the back of the small room. Spreads your legs. Assesses fuckin' nothing, 'cause it's so dark in the room - but knows your pussy almost as well as he knows his own name. Licks to the left of your lips. To the right. Ends in one thick stripe up the centre. Sucks ever so gently once he reaches your clit. Knows that your cunt - your leaky, needy, hole that he loves to stretch out so much - must be going insane from the lack of attention it's getting.

"You'll be okay," he assures you. Stands, and gives your pussy a playful spank. "C'mon. You've got horny old dudes to schmooze."

"Is that gonna get you off?" you tease slightly, your annoyance with him a little subdued.

"Maybe," he shrugs, already knowing it mostly likely will. "You're gonna walk around that gallery covered in my cum, and no one else but us is gonna know it," he smirks, the gravity of what he's just done finally kicking in. Cups your jaw. Presses a kiss to your lips. Husks, "You're gonna go out there and act like you're mine - 'cause right now, you are."

You don't argue against it.

The pair of you meander down the corridor in near silence. His hand is on your back, but your arms are tentatively folded across your chest. Each step is accompanied by your keen ears checking for audible evidence of your sin.

So caught up in your own worries, you don't notice how quiet the gallery itself is. How few people seem to be milling about. How the main lights are on now, and how it only seems to be those wearing 'staff' lanyards within the main space.

Pursing his lips as he realises, Jeongguk tries not to laugh.

"Oh, shit," you whisper, pulling on his wrist so you can check the time on his watch. 10:13. The show was scheduled to finish at 10, but you're sure most people will have filtered out before then. Have no idea what the time was when Jeongguk had dragged you away from the main room.

"S'fine," he mumbles. Grips a little tighter on your waist. Doesn't let you pull away, like he fears you will now that appearances don't need to be kept up.

You don't. Instead, your arms drop from their position over your chest, and reach for his hand, guiding him the direction of the (now unmanned) cloak room.

There's little chatter as you grab your coats - the only ones left there.

"Need to show you something," you mumble, digging into your pockets, and pulling out half a dozen empty tubes.

Jeongguk looks at you with a sense of frayed confusion - but if he were to thread the strings together, he'd see the bigger picture.

Dusted in fine glitter of different colours, the tubes don't seem out of the ordinary for you. Is totally the kind of thing he'd expect to see in your pockets.

Quietly, you grit your teeth together. Suck in a little air. Are embarrassed to admit what you've done.

But the person in front of you is your best friend. Even with judgement will come acceptance. There always is. Honesty is the least you owe him.

"I know I'm not wearing any glitter," you start slowly. Hold the empty tubes up, then toss them into the bin beside the concierge table. Knock your head to the side and encourage him to start walking with you. He does.

He also reaches into his own pocket, and pulls out his car keys. Passes them over to you. "Might be above the limit. Can you drive?"

Glancing over to him, shocked by the request, you double check. "Are you sure?"

He nods. "You can crash at mine. It's fine."

Despite it all, there's still no one else he wants to end the night with. No girl he'd rather take home. Platonic or romantic.

"Sleep, I mean," he adds. "Not physically crash the car. Please don't crash my car."

You just smile. Nod. After the hideousness of the week spent barely talking to him, there's nothing you want more than to just feel like things are still normal.

"So the tubes?" he asks as you reach the car. He lets you unlock it, but adjusts the seat for you before letting you get in. Also puts his jacket down on the cushion, just in case your underwear gives up on protecting your decency.

"Thanks," you say, stroking the side of his waist tenderly as he makes way for you and waits for him to get in before you start the car up. You get onto the main road, and make sure you've got your bearings before finally explaining yourself. "It was plausible deniability. The lack of glitter, I mean. Was deliberate."

"What do you mean?" He asks, reaching for the gearstick. Doesn't care if your hand is on it. Wants to hold it. You ignore his actions. Just let him intertwine his fingers with yours.

"I mean, the less glitter on me, the less credibility Jin would have when it comes to arguing that I'm the person who's emptied half a dozen tubes of glitter into his incredibly expensive formal winter coat."

Jeongguk says nothing for a moment. Plays out the idea of you stealthily depositing millions of glitter specks into a jacket that costs more than his yearly rent. Is slow to ask, "...which pockets?"

And you're slow to reply, "... All the ones I could find. Outside, inside. Secret pocket in the lining."

And then Jeongguk is laughing. Really fucking laughing. Looks over to you, and your bunched up little face, and is overcome a sense of pride he usually only feels for these gallery shows, or when a bird of yours is completed. The kinda pride that is reserved for you, and for your accomplishments.

"Shut up," you giggle now, too. "I know it's childish but-"

"No," he shakes his head. Can't stop smiling. "It's brilliant. Dunno if you've heard, but apparently glitter is a bitch to get out."

"Yeah," you grin. "I've been told that a few times."

And suddenly the events of the evening seem to feel less burdensome. Warmer. More pleasant.

You don't bother with small talk, and nor does he. Are just happy to exist together, and this state of ease lasts right up until you're in his apartment, shoes off, standing a little awkwardly in his living room.

Jimin is out. Everyone is. There are a million messages in your group chat asking where you are. You'll just reply in the morning. Too busy, now.

"I need to shower," you say, a little timid.

Jeongguk nods. "Same."

"Join me?"

To your surprise, he hesitates.

"You're the reason I need one in the first place," you remind him. "Please."

He looks down. Shakes his head. "I don't trust us."

"Nor do I," you tell him. "But this whole thing has been hell on earth, Gguk. I've hated it."

"Me too."

"I don't think..." you sigh. Don't want to share your conclusion, but know you need to. "I don't think careless fucking around is worth it. It's definitely not worth losing you."

"So what are you saying?"

Gesturing towards yourself, you grimace a little. "I'm saying we sort out the current... mess. Get showered. Whatever. Head to the pharmacy in the morning for the emergency pill, just in case - and then a few days from now, I'll take an actual test. Just wanna make sure my system is settled, first. And then, providing it all goes well, we sort ourselves out. Stop fucking around."

Jeongguk says nothing. Just sort of looks at you as if you've just hung up a new star in the sky, or something absurd like that. Nods. "Alright."

You're well aware that you shouldn't look at Jeongguk in the way that you do; that you shouldn't stand in his living room, and let the dress that you've been hoping would keep him focused on you all night drop to the floor.

He's well aware that he shouldn't look at you in the way that he does; like you're some kind of star to wish upon.

And yet you both do. He wishes. You grant his wishes.

There's a mess to clean up in the morning. Jeongguk can't shake the look on the faces of his friends from his mind. Knows that you need to cover your tracks.

But for now, he doesn't care.

Your dress is on the floor, and his heart is yours.

Though he'll always define you as his best friend, he knows that the way he wants you goes beyond the scope of that. Knows that there's no going back.

"Byeol," he whispers.

"Koo," you whisper right back.

He smiles. Shakes his head. "I love it when you call me that."

You nod. smile, too. "I love the way you smile when I call you that."

He's right not to trust the pair of you together. Right to assume that a shower is a bad decision. Right to think that the second he has you naked, he won't care about the consequences.

Quite frankly, he couldn't give a fuck. Skin on skin, he indulges in you. The way you feel, the way you sound. Pretends like it's normal, holding your waist as he peppers kisses up your neck. Tells himself it's not unusual for friends to let their hands roam. It's all about trust. Mutual adoration. Desire. Want. Careful carelessness.

You don't kiss him, at least. Not in the shower.

No, you don't kiss him... until you're in his sheets.

Neither of you got dressed after the shower. Went to bed naked with the promise of sleep - and yet somehow you're straddled across his lap at two in the morning, hips slowly grinding to get the feeling of fullness you love so much from Jeongguk.

"After this-" you husk into his lips, but he breaks your sentence with yet another kiss. You don't mind. "After this, we've gotta start taking shit carefully."

He nods. "Mhmm. Whatever you say."

"Gguk-"

"Byeol, please," he smiles. "I'm literally inside you. Can you at least wait until we're done to give me ultimatums?"

Laughing, you cup his jaw. Kiss him again, just because you want to. Because you can. "Yeah. My bad."

Sitting back up, Jeongguk watches on in a state of adoration as your body moves for him. So often the one to take the lead, he's letting you have control, now. Letting you ride him. Letting himself succumb to everything you are.

"Shit," he whines, back arching, head pressing into his pillows. Fingers gripping your hips, he thrashes his own upwards. Thrusts up into you like a man possessed. Gets your body all weak and feeble from the overwhelming pleasure he's delivering - and when your hand dips to toy with your clit? Oh, it doubles. Trebles.

"You're so fucking hot," he tells you. "Yeah. Play with yourself for me. That's it, baby."

Panting, you tap on his chest with your spare hand. "Hips. Slow."

He does what he's told even if he absolutely doesn't want to. Let you bounce slowly. Reaches up to hold one of your tits as you do so. Wants them in his mouth. Finds himself grinning when he thinks of how much he's changed since you first started fucking around together.

"God, I fuckin' love this," he whines a little mindlessly. Doesn't bother clarifying what 'this' is.

The hand of yours that's wrapped around his wrist begins to tighten. Nails dig in. Tiny pretty whines of satisfaction escape your lips. Eyes close. Speed of the hand rubbing circles on your clit increases. Sitting on his cock, he's keeping you stretched. Full. Lets you do whatever the fuck you like, 'cause he knows you're working your way up. Loves to watch it more than anything. Gets himself off sometimes thinking about it.

Leaning forward a little, you reach for his phone. Slide it open to his camera.

He narrows his eyes. "Whatcha doing there?"

Whiney as you manage to speak, Jeongguk thinks you must be a direct descendant of Aphrodite. "Giving you permission," you hum, passing his phone back to him, already recording.

He looks to the screen, a little red button in the middle and a time running through on the top. Raises his brow. "Sure?"

You're putting on a show for him, yes, but none of it is faked. This is as real as it gets.

"Oh, fuck yeah," he husks as he can feel your walls tighten. "Like that. Like that. Fuck ." Pulses his hips ever so slightly. Sneaks his hand to join yours. Takes over. "Cum all over my cock, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's it, babe."

"Gguk, I'm so close."

"I know," he coos. "Let yourself. I'm here."

"You're so big," you tell him, just so he has evidence of it. Know it will do his ego wonders. "Makes me feel so good."

"Show me how good it feels. Cum for me. Please. I need this. Need you ."

And when you finally do?

Oh, it's glorious.

"There she is," Jeongguk praises. Doesn't bother to stop recording. Tosses his phone to the side. Pulls you in for a million kisses. "God, you're so pretty when you cum. So fuckin' pretty."

His hips continue to gently rock, his orgasm far less violent than yours. You only really know it's happening cause he grunts. Gets a little breathless. Hugs around your back as his legs begin to shake, and eventually he manages to shakily whisper, "it's yours. All yours."

You just assume he means his cock, or cum, or something vulgar like that - and while it would be correct, it's not what he means. Not at all.

He holds you as you sleep that night. Has no interest in pretending like he wants to be less than what you are right now.

But come the morning, you're cracking jokes together like you've never nearly made declarations you'd never be able to take back. Hang out, as if he wouldn't rather eat you out. Make a to-do list. Laugh, as it's titled 'Fixing the Star-Fuckers Fuck-Up'.

You make a trip out of the list. Go to a pharmacy a few towns over. Grab a drive-thru Maccies breakfast. Get absolutely slated when you order a Shanghai Snack Wrap instead of a classic egg McMuffin.

"Can't believe we're friends," Jeongguk says, disgusted by the fact you're choosing to have something from the all-day menu. "Can't believe we fuck ."

"Fucked," you remind him, and remember that you've a pill you need to take. Pop it out of the foil, and swallow it down with a chug of Jeongguk's drink. "Past tense."

"Yeah, sorry," Jeongguk grins. It's easier to pretend like the idea of not fucking doesn't phase him. "My bad."

His pretty grin swiftly disappears three days later as he paces around your apartment living room, waiting on the result from a little pink stick that's sitting on top of your toilet. You're in the living room, too. Don't wanna check it. Nor does he.

So you play rock paper scissors.

Jeongguk loses.

And as you nervously await your fate, all you hear from your bathroom is a single word.

"Fuck."

[bonbonchocolates]

Revenge

Yandere Jungkook x Reader ft. Namjoon

Summary: When he decides to avenge his brother.........

Warnings: yandere jungkook, kidnapping, mentions of s**cide, torturing, non-con, smut (not descriptive), mentions of bullying, death of major characters

A/N: Again originally from my Wattpad account. I hope you like it and if you do please leave a like.

Masterlist

____________________________________________

Y/N POV:

I was walking back home from school with my friends when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around to find my neighbour, Namjoon standing there.

"Can I talk to you?"

I looked at him in confusion. Why does wants to talk to me? Did I do something wrong?

"I-I p-romise I w-wont waste your time."

He shuttered and looked everywhere except at me. Maybe he thought I was thinking something else.

"You can."

As the words left my mouth, a beautiful smile made its way to Namjoon's. This is my first time seeing him smile. He should smile like this more often.

"Y/N I wanted to let you know that I like you very much. The first time I saw you I fell in love with you. You are perfect in every aspect. I wanted to confess my feelings a long time ago but didn't have that courage. Will you be my girlfriend? I understand if you don't feel the same."

As soon as the words left his mouth my heartbeat increased. I have had a small crush on him for months. I didn't think he would like me as I am a lot younger than him.

"Namjoon I-"

Before I could say anything I heard my friends laughing. Whats so funny that made them laugh?

"What a nice joke?"

Lia said and continued laughing. I looked at my friends with confusion written all over my face.

"How can you expect her to be your girlfriend?"

Yubin said mocking Namjoon. I got an idea about what they are trying to do to him. I need to stop them.

"Y/N has everything, looks, money and most importantly brains and look at you, good for nothing. How can you think Y/N will be the girlfriend of someone so ugly and poor? There are many boys who have a crush on Y/N and are better than you. So you better get lost, you already wasted so much of our time."

I silently watched Hyejin insulting Namjoon and I could do nothing. If I take Namjoon's side they will turn against me and bully me in the school and I don't want that. But I need to protect Namjoon from them.

"Guys let's go."

I said so that they leave Namjoon alone and luckily it worked. With a last glance at him I started to walk towards home with my friends following me. I felt bad for Namjoon. He didn't deserve that, I better apologise to him tomorrow when my friends are not lingering around.

____________________________________________

Namjoon's POV:

I cried silently while looking at the disappearing figure of Y/N. This is the first time in love when I fell in love with someone. I regretted my decision to confess my feelings.

I really felt humiliated. If she doesn't like me then she could politely say it. What was the need of all this? I was hurt at her friends insults. They were right how can I girl like Y/N like me?

But the thing that hurt me the most was Y/N watching her friends humiliating me while doing nothing. I thought she was different from others but guess what she is the same.

____________________________________________

Author's POV:

You went to Namjoon's house the next day and didn't find him there so you returned back home. You were getting impatient to apologise to him. You everyday visited his house but he was never at home.

A month passed this way and like everyday you visited Namjoon's home today. You found the door locked from outside. Where is Namjoon? Just then you saw the old lady who was the owner of the house Namjoon stayed in coming downstairs.

"Ajumma"

You called her grabbing attention. She looked towards you with a smile on her face.

"Yes my daughter."

"Can I ask you where Namjoon is?"

As soon as she heard his name her smile disappeared. There was a sad expression on her face. You wonder why?

"Poor child committed suicide almost three three weeks ago. He-"

The ground beneath you slipped from your feet as soon as you heard her words. Namjoon committed suicide but why?

"You are lying right? NAMJOON IS NOT DEAD."

You yelled at her, not caring about anything. She is lying, Namjoon is not dead, he can't be. As much as you know him he'll never do something like that.

"Calm down, calm down my daughter."

(A/N: Grandma Hobi 😂)

____________________________________________

4 Years Later:

You were walking to the nearby convenience store as you ran out of food supplies. It was late night so you decided it would be better if you just grab a packet of ramen for dinner.

These four years have been really tough for you. Moving over Namjoon was hard. You felt like it was all because of you, Namjoon died. After losing him you realised that you didn't have a crush on him but you loved him. You left your friends when you heard that they bullied him at your absence. You even left your family because-

Just then you felt footsteps behind you. You turned back and found no one there. You continued walking when you felt someone pressing a cloth over your face. You stared to feel dizzy and soon unconsciousness greeted you.

____________________________________________

When you woke up you found yourself in a dark room. Your hands were tied to the headboard of the bed, you laid in. You tried to free yourself but it was of no luck. Soon you heard the sound of the door opening.

A handsome and well built man entered in. He was glaring at you like he'll kill you anytime. His entire presence screamed danger. You were literally shivering just from his mere presence. You had no idea what he is about to do to you.

"You're awake, good. Now the fun will begin."

What fun is he talking about? What is he going to do to you? You saw him going towards the cupboard. He soon grabbed something and came towards you. The thing which he had looked like a whip. You were completely terrified after seeing that.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing much just getting my Hyung's revenge."

Revenge- what?

"Plea-"

Before you could say anything he whipped you. You cried out in pain. You didn't get the time to even breath properly when he whipped you again. You wanted to run from there but couldn't because both your hands and legs were tied.

This way he whipped you many times. You are now a crying mess. You sreamed at him to let you go but he didn't listen and enjoyed seeing you in pain.

"I want to kill you right now but first I should put your hot body to a better use."

After two hours of continuous rape, you were tired. He was too rough on you, he showed no mercy. You whole body was covered with bruises and cuts. You lower region was bleeding. You had no idea what you did for him to treat you this way.

"It's time for you to say goodbye to the world."

He said with a sickening smile. He put a wire around your neck and started chocking you. You started struggling against his hold. Soon he found you stopped breathing. He smiled in victory. He was finally happy to take his Hyung's revenge. Now his Hyung's soul can rest in peace.

____________________________________________

Jungkook's POV:

After killing Y/N, I got rid of her dead body. I made sure that no one will have any idea about her disappearance. This was even more easy as I know Y/N lives alone and has no friends. So the chances of people looking for her is negligible.

I bought a bouquet of white rose which was Hyung's favourite. I smiled at the memory of him, now he can finally rest in peace as I got rid of the girl because of whom he died. I decided to pay his grave a visit.

As soon as I arrived at the graveyard, I went towards Hyung's grave and placed the bouquet of flowers and sat down right there.

"How are you Hyung? I hope you are good there. I finally got your revenge. I am sure you will be proud of your little brother."

After that I headed to Y/N's home. I have no idea why I want to go there. As soon I arrived there, I felt a ting of pain in my heart. I don't know why I regret killing her. I feel like I have done something wrong.

The house was totally empty like I expected. There was a sense of loneliness in the house. I explored the house in search of something valuable. I know she is from a rich family. My financial situation is not good these days so if I find something here I can sell and earn some money.

Although this was not my intention to come here, but if I came here I should put this opportunity to a good use. Even if I don't find anything valuable I can stay here. So that I will not have to live in that old warehouse anymore.

I went to her bedroom and went towards the cupboard. I'm sure I may find something valuable there. I opened the cupboard and found a locker inside. It had a password system to unlock it. How am I supposed to open it?

I touched the locker and it opened itself. That means it was unlocked. How can this girl be so stupid? I opened it in hope to find something expensive but all my hope went to vain when I saw nothing except a small diary kept there. I took it out and opened it.

June 21

A new neighbour moved in the house right opposite to ours yesterday. I never write about new neighbours in my diary but guess what he is special. He is so handsome. I think I have a crush on him.

June 30

Kim Namjoon, yes that's the name of the hot neighbour. I now really want to be Mrs. Kim Y/N. Oh God what am I even writing? If my parents or brother sees this they are surely gonna kill me.

July 13

Namjoon Oppa looked at me. I'm so happy this is the first time he looked at me. I can't express my happiness in words.

September 1

I really want to confess my feelings to Namjoon but I'm not confident enough. I'm sure he'll not feel the same.

October 13

Today Namjoon Oppa confessed to me and asked me to become his girlfriend. I was on cloud nine when he said that. I never expected him to feel the same for me. I wanted to say yes. But guess what I was not able to say anything. My friends insulted him and I just stood there and watched it. I'm such a bad person. I'll try to apologise him on my friends behalf tomorrow.

October 19

For so many days I'm am trying to apologise to Namjoon Oppa but he is never at home. It's been almost a week since I didn't see him. I just hope he is okay.

December 4

I went in search of Namjoon Oppa but got to know that he committed suicide. I can't believe that he is no longer with us. So badly I want it to be a nightmare but sadly it's not. I have no idea why he took such a big step. Is it because of me? If it's because of me I'll never be able to forgive myself.

December 30

Today I got to know that my so called friends bullied Namjoon behind my back and I had no idea. So I broke our friendship. I also got to know that Namjoon didn't committe suicide but he was murdered. Yes, he was murdered and the killer is none other than my own elder brother. I trusted him with my life and he killed the person I loved. I hate my brother and I want Namjoon to get his revenge. But I can't do anything because I don't have any proof against him and even if I had he would easily get out of prison. Even my parents supported him. How helpless I am?

I broke down after reading the diary. The diary fell from my hand. What did I do? I killed my love.

_________________________________________

Flashback:

There is a girl whom I have a crush on. Her name is Y/N but I'm afraid to confess to her because I fear she will reject me. So I watched her from afar.

I transferred to a high school in another city and lost connections with her. I then got to know that Namjoon Hyung likes a girl and it was none other than Y/N. After hearing that I was a bit sad because she was my crush first but was happy for my Hyung.

Then I got to know about Namjoon Hyung's death and got the letter where he wrote about Y/N and her friends humiliating him when he confessed to her. So I assumed that she was the reason why my Hyung committed suicide and decided to take revenge from her.

End of Flashback

_________________________________________

It took years to find her out. I was so happy to find her so that I can finally take Hyung's revenge. I didn't want to kill her because I still loved her but was blinded by revenge.

I wanted to take Hyung's revenge so badly that I killed Y/N. When she was innocent. It was actually her brother who killed my Hyung not her.

I don't deserve to live after killing an innocent person. I wiped my tears and went towards the window which was wide open. Without wasting time I jumped from there.

The last thing I saw was people gathering around me before I closed my eyes forever.

____________________________________________

[lieblingspulli]

Need Something? - SKZ

W.C: 2.3k

Seungmin x Reader

Summary: Two days converge into one as you and Seungmin unwind for the day!

Masterlist!

SKZ Masterlist

Note: Hey! It’s been a while but I got inspired by my extreme procrastination of my schoolwork to make something. I’ve been just itching to write about super mundane things tbh, I’ve been just so busy, I’m appreciating the mundane much more lately. Hope you all like it <3

Seungmin was extremely relaxed after his daily coffee run. If there was anything to start his morning peacefully, it was nicely flavored americano and an empty cafe. Today would be a good day, Seungmin resolved to himself. He would get his choreo memorized, sing some demos for Chan today and maybe even go live for a lunchtime mukbang session. Today would be a great day in fact. He felt so at peace that he felt he could do anything today, even the laundry that had been sitting in the corner of his room for like a week at home. Today would be good. 

You personally felt victimized today. Nothing like sleeping through the most important meeting of the quarter to start your morning. You spent all of last night typing out your important charts and notes, Seungmin couldn’t even lure you into bed with warm cuddles and extra attention.

Despite this, Seungmin had kissed you to sleep endlessly when you did join him at an early 3 in the morning. You felt so bad for keeping him awake, but Seungmin didn’t have an important quarterly report to type, you did. Resigning to a stern lecture from your coworkers, you let the morning do its thing. You used the last of the coffee pods that Seungmin left you and fed your tiny, old dog before hurrying out the door. Let’s get this day over with, you thought. 

-

Right before you left work for the day, you sent Seungmin a text.

Just getting out of work. When do u get home?🥲-Y

Almost immediately Seungmin answered. 

Maybe around 7. :( Srry bby -S

Can you squeeze out an early send off from chris??? Tell him I broke my finger -Y

You’re funny. Let me work my magic ;) -S

Lmk how that goes, if not just tell my chrissy I said hi and he still owes me some nachos from when he ate mine -Y 

Some time went by as you waited for a reply. You watched the fall colors of the trees pass you by as the bus took you to your homestop. Something about fall calmed your nerves. Luckily, the quarterly meeting had been postponed because the division manager had a cold, which totally saved your butt. You sighed and felt a vibration from your phone. 

Chan$$ venmoed you 10 usd 

You grinned and sighed. Opening up your messages with Seungmin, you shook your head and laughed. 

Why did chan send me 10 dollars in usd 🤔 -Y

bro???? -Y

He said because you keep pestering him for an american dish -S

Tell him I’ll enjoy it very much thxxx  -Y

He also said you have to share with him when you get them -S

Why dont you just text him urself omg -S

You just sent him an emoji with your tongue sticking out. 

Oh hey did he let you out tho? -Y

No -S

We have a weird schedule today bc of the morning show tm -S

Srry bb -S

Its OK. have fun xoxo -Y

You pulled the bus signal and gathered your stuff. The time on your phone read 4:26. Technically speaking, you should be at work, but was let out early due to the manager being gone and the meeting had everyone done with work. Maybe you would cook some lasagna according to your mom’s recipe. Or take Luna (your fossilized age dog) out on a walk. You didn’t really seem to know what to do because of this peculiar on-edge feeling. 

It was peaceful around you as you hopped off the bus. An ajumma was reading her book on the bus stop bench. A 16 year old student and his friend were arguing over a bag of chips. A business man was walking presumably home from work. 

You pulled your coat a little tighter around you as you started to walk in the direction of yours and Seungmin’s place. The cold air had picked up in a bit of a breeze as you passed the corner store which was next to the salon that was owned by your neighbor down the hallway. Eventually you made it to your building and walked into the warm main hallway. 

Seungmin’s schedule was unexpectedly busy today. Despite his peaceful start, the choreographer made some changes to the new dance they were learning for a unit video with Leeknow and Jeongin. Leeknow, being the particular dancer he always was, made the choreo hour seem like 3. Afterwards, Chan said his demo tracks still weren’t ready but he could send one of them over for a listen. This left Seungmin a bit of freetime before lunch, so he decided to walk to the new chocolate store that opened down the street and buy you some mocha and espresso choco bites. With his goodies in hand, Seungmin proceeded to go about his day as normal, except for the fact that Jisung was freaking out when he met with Seungmin for lunch over how his recording session went terribly and he needed to reschedule soon because the tracks needed to be edited soon. All of Jisung’s stress made its way to Seungmin and started to give him an icky feeling. The best he could do was offer some comfort to Han by offering to help him on the vocals when he had a chance. This seemed to help him a bit. Not soon after, You texted Seungmin and this put him at ease. Running off after lunch, Seungmin found Chan in his studio working on the aforementioned demos. Trying to guilt trip his most loyal leader, Seungmin found himself getting an apologetic “Sorry min but the schedule is packed after 3:30. It's best to stay the day I think” from Chan. Welp. 

From here on, it was utter chaos. When Seungmin got to the group meeting room for a debrief on the morning schedule, no one but the manager was there. Everyone was late, Hyunjin didn’t have anything but a coffee and his phone because he forgot his laptop at home, Jeongin was sniffing because he was recovering from a cold, Leeknow was late because of a dance practice, Chris and Changbin were late because of the demo fixing, Jisung walked in with a second lunch, and Felix just lost track of time. Who knows what happened after that.  

In between song rehearsals, Seungmin replied to your text and apologized for the continuing schedule. He sensed your day hadn’t gone according to plan but he really couldn’t do much at the moment. Jisung was pestering him to help him with some vocals and he reluctantly agreed to a bit of help after the rehearsal. So much for going home early. 

After he grabbed his bag to head to Jisung’s studio room, he texted you again to make sure you were okay. 

Are you bored without me yet -S

Seungmin swung the door open and started slowly heading down the dimly lit hallway to let Jisung catch up. 

No Luna decided to spit up her lunch. Also the coffee machine broke -Y

My beloved coffee machine 🙁 -S

Seungmin got startled when he felt some hands on his shoulder. Jisung had caught up. 

“What did you think about that rehearsal huh?” Jisung chuckled and readjusted his hoodie over his head. “Personally, I don’t know if I’ll survive tomorrow.” He shook his head and grimaced. 

“Ah, it's fine. It’s strange because everyone was late but tomorrow won’t be that bad. I need a vacation after though.” Seungmin chuckled and stuffed his phone in his back pocket before heading into the elevator after Jisung. 

“Bro I’ve got so many tracks to finish and turn in, it’s insane.” 

“Tell me about it, I’ve got a bunch of people asking me for help.” Seungmin laughed and nudged at Jisung teasingly. Jisung got a bit embarrassed and slapped his arm playfully.

“I’m looking forward to the weekend.” Jisung sighed. 

“Me too.” Seungmin agreed wholeheartedly and followed his companion into the studio hallway.

-

Finally, 7pm hit the clock. You quickly set the table and hopped in the shower. All the unease in your stomach had made you do odd chores around the house to get your mind off of the feeling. You made your homemade lasagna, did 2 loads of laundry, vacuumed the whole house, and cleaned out the fridge. Still, you felt unfinished. The whole day at work, people had been asking for your assistance on different tasks and now that you did jobs for yourself, it didn’t feel satisfying enough. Additionally, you tried making your favorite caramel latte but the machine broke. You sighed as you washed your hair. After you got out and was on step 3 of your skincare routine, you heard the front door open and close, signaling the return of your boyfriend. 

Seungmin took the choco bites out of his bag before setting it on its designated hook in the hallway. Luna ran up to Seungmin and excitedly pawed at his shoes for pets. Suengmin smiled and crouched down to pet her before talking sweet nonsense despite her being a dog. 

You walked out from the bedroom, careful not to startle Seungmin and snickered a bit. 

“And here I thought I was the one going to get extra attention.” You teased. 

Seungmin stood up and waddled over to you with arms open wide. 

“Babyyyyyyyy. I missed you so” He said in his best baby voice. You adored Minnie. “Don’t strangle me Min.” You pouted. 

“I’m sorry, I just had a weird day.” You could hear his visible pout and you rubbed his back.

“Did you need something then? A kiss? Some food?” Seungmin held you out at arm’s length and got suddenly very serious.

“That is the first time someone has asked me that all day.” You giggled at his distraught face, knowing he was pouting about not getting enough attention. 

“Aw, my poor baby boy didn’t get enough love from his friends did he?” You smiled teasingly. He dramatically nodded yes and then seemed to have an epiphany. 

“Oh! I have something for you!” He ran over to the table and picked up a fancy yellow pastry box before opening them and stretching them out to you. 

“Aw, baby, you didn’t have to.” You picked up a chocolate cookie looking thing and bit into it. You expected a cruncy texture, but got more of a caramel bite of brownie spongieness. You sighed in pleasure and closed your eyes to savor the taste. 

“Mmmm! This is so good. Where did you get these from?” You opened your eyes. 

“There’s a new pastry shop by the JYP building! I thought you could use a pick me up today.” He stared at you excitingly, happy that you were happy. He happily walked back to the table and set down the box before sauntering to the kitchen. 

“Thanks Min, I really appreciate it. I needed the surprise.” He looked back at you and curiously asked what was wrong. 

“Ah, I just had a bad start to the morning. My meeting got delayed and I’ve been feeling weird all day.” You walked to the counter and began to plate some lasagna. “I did make my favorite dish for dinner though.” You felt arms wrap around you waist and a chin prop on your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, baby. Do you need something from me? Sometimes you just need someone to take care of you to feel better.” Suengmin said sweetly. You leaned your head back against him. 

“You’re too nice to me you know that right?” You sighed and got back to serving the food.

“No, I’m so serious right now. I feel like everyone asks so much of us that we don’t just get to take care of eachother.” He helped you carry the dishes to the table as he maintained the conversation. 

“So many people asked me for favors today. I realized how much I just wanted to go home and listen to someone ask about my day. I feel like that would make you feel better. So, I’ll do just that!” He happily exclaimed this last point and pulled out your chair for you to sit down in. You smiled and puckered your lips for a kiss. He happily obliged. You sweetly kissed him and said, “Min, all I want from you is your attention and your cuddles.” You giggled. He smiled and quickly grabbed some juice from the fridge before running to the table to sit down like a child. 

“Okay, tell me about your day. I want to know everything. I also want to know what I can do to make you feel better. Think of it as a master plan. Plan Y/N: Make Y/N feel loved and appreciated for all they do for everyone.” He motioned with his hands across the space in front of him. 

You shook your head and began from the very beginning. Seungmin listened the whole time and attentively ate while making agreeable sounds. Watching you be so animated about a normal day was so attractive to him, he thought to himself that he would spend all his days like today if he could return to you and listen to you speak. As dinner winded down, he held your hand across the table and spoke about his schedule that day. Although he was being pestered all day with favors, he felt that this one task that was given to him by you would never be an annoying one. He would gladly ask if you needed something from him if it meant giving you extra love and attention.

[dylan-rodrigues]

My Man is Cupid, EP. 2: what is up with all these people? She's smelling a random stranger, he's literally stalking her, the murdered nurse was married and cheating on her husband with another married man, who had kids and was beating his mistress to the point she bled all over her clothes...

her heart is racing because they were lovers in their past life in Joseon ofc. I've watched enough kdramas to know what's up.

I relate to dog dude, I also feel like sleeping asleep in that guy's arms.

Love triangle with Cupid and police detective dude, yaaaaaay 🫤 So the detective was not only in the past life too, even this love triangle is a replay... Can we just have fun once in a while?

NOOO NOT THE RESTAURANT AJUMMA 😭😭 That sick bastard...

Yeah, the stalking is getting kinda creepy imo. This isn't romantic, it's just scary.

Gosh, this drama gets super weird and then super charming again. Im like, I want to drop this but it gets super funny and I'm like, next EP pls.

Obligatory kdrama ML saves FL scene but the comedy afterwards elevates it. The way she still lists every single possible injury and bro gets so scared, it's genuinely funny. He's also scared hamster.jpg when she gets close to him 💀💀these two actors are carrying the entire show

[lsngusge]

Random words I picked up from watching Idol dictation contest

• 너 머리가 쓰레기구나 - so your head is full of trash

• 쓰레기 같은 고민 했구나 - so you've been worrying about trash (like worrying about stuff that are not important)

• 화내지마 - don't get angry

• 아줌마 잘 먹지 - ajumma is eating well ,right?

• 불안해 - I'm nervous

• 걱정 - worry

• 왜 그러셨어요 - why did you do that

• 오늘은 내가 요리사 - today I'm the chef

• 너 말도 못 하는데 , 문제 맞힐 수 있습니까 - you can't even talk , can you answer the question?

• 대단해 - amazing ( like "Wow :0 " type of amazing )

• 외식할래 - I want to eat out

• 궁금해 - I'm curious

• 시급하네요 - it's urgent

• 답답해 - it's very uncomfortable

• 의미가 없어 - there's no meaning

As I was writing this I realised most of what I learnt were insults 🥲 so I tried to put the words that weren't insults Honestly should get my priorities of what to learn straight , I added the first one though cause I found it funny

The show is a spinoff from Amazing Saturday and it was fun to watch . I'm just getting a lot of input which is just me low-key being lazy 🥲 . That's all for today , started a new semester so making time to learn will be a bit hard but let's see 안녕 👋

(I'm not even close to fluent so may contain inaccuracies so any corrections are welcome and please be kind :' ) )

[chellesdump]

Getting In The Twilight Zone - JenLiChaeng

"Jisoo was out doing a schedule so Jennie had stayed home with their maknaes who had regressed since the previous night, when they woke up they realized that their home had to get into the Halloween spirit, so they begged Jennie to let them decorate the place up. Of course, Jen told them yes, who could resist puppy eyes"

word count ─ 1k

tags ─ little! rosé, little! lisa, cg! jennie, fluff, autumn, warm drinks, mention of autumn festivities

notes ─ This is for the Decorating prompt , enjoy :3

Jennie bid goodbye to Jisoo who had a schedule for the day before closing the door and going back to watching her show while cuddling the dogs, the day aimed to be a relaxing one, and of course she planned to enjoy it to the fullest, but what she hadn’t anticipated was for the hurricane that her two maknaes were bringing upon once they woke up. Jen had the luck of being able to watch a full episode of the drama she was watching before Hurricane LiChaeng struck, once awake they made their way to the living room searching for the unnies only finding Jennie there under a blanket with both Kuma and Dalgom snuggled against her.

Deciding that was good enough, they threw themselves next to Jen and began asking a bunch of questions, “Where Jisoo unnie? What you watchin’? Can eat waffles? Why ajumma crying on TV? Can cut doggie hair?”, after taking a couple of seconds to truly process the questions Jennie paused her show and turned towards the maknaes to answer them, “She had some work to do, I’m watching a show not meant for little ones like you, we can eat waffles, she’s crying cause something bad happened, and clearly you can’t cut their hair baby” responded Jennie finishing with a boop to each of their noses. Before going to the kitchen to prepare the breakfast that was asked Jennie put on some cartoons for the kids so they would be a little bit calmer and not make a huge disaster on the room.

When the waffles were cooked, some fruit was cut, diverse jams were out to try, some whipped cream, and some toppings Jen called the maknaes to come and eat, they came running like crazy while screaming about how they wanted their waffles. It was too early to deal with so much ruckus so Jen put a stop to it, “Okay you two calm down, first Rosie tell me what you want on your waffles baby” said Jen putting a couple of the waffles on a plate and getting them ready, “Umhh… Wan pe’simon jam and whipped c’eam an spinkles” described Rosie before being gave her plate saying a tiny fank u and pilling fruits on top of her plate, then came Lisa’s turn “Me want lotsa whipped c’eam an pink spinkles an mango jam, pwease” finished with a big smile, after thanking her she followed Rosé’s example and put lots of fruits on top of her waffles.

After Jennie prepared her own plate she sat down and began eating, thinking this would be a nice and calm breakfast but the girls wanted to tell her about the cartoon they were watching so she listened, “Mama we watch Kongsuni!! She funny an Lili wanna be wike Kongsuni!!” said Lisa, “Yeah Mama, Kongsuni pway wiff her fwiends an they have much fun!! They make cwafts wiff leaves from the twees!!” informed Rosé with a twinkle on her eye remembering the episode they had seen of ‘Kongusni and Friends’, they kept narrating everything that happened on TV, rambling on and on so Jen only paid half attention while focussing more on eating and making sure the girls ate.

Jennie inserted affirmative hums and some ‘really’ every once and then to let the kids know they weren’t being ignored, so she didn’t really hear what they asked her until the happy squeals of “Gomawo Mama, you da best! Saranghae Mama!” came from both littles. Gaining her full consciousness she dared to speak again, “Rosie! Lili! Can you tell Mama what she just agreed to? Please?” begged the Korean interrupting their little celebratory dance, with pouts and sad expressions they asked, “Was Mama ignoring Rosie an’ Lili?”, this broke Jen’s heart so she was quick to her response, “Oh no babies! Mama’s mind just decided to go away for a little and didn’t really hear what you asked. You know I would never ignore you on purpose” reassured Jennie while bringing the younguns on a hug.

Between tiny sobs, they asked again, “Kongsuni ask her eomma if they decorate house pwease, we wanna decorate the house like Kongsuni and Kongsuni eomma” retold Rosé, “Can we Mama, pwetty pwease? We wan pwetty house like Kongsuni” continued Lisa putting her hand together and making her best puppy eyes alongside Rosé. Of course, Jennie said yes, since she couldn’t resist those eyes begging, but she told them that first, they had to pick up all their toys and take their dogs out for a walk so they would get their energy (and go potty) before leaving them on their own at the house, after finishing the tasks they got dressed to go to the store and pick up the decorations they wanted.

The trip to the store was as chaotic as anyone would expect from the maknaes of Blackpink leading everything, they got out with a cart filled with a huge variety of decorations, and fitting everything into their car was a struggle but they succeeded at the end so happily made their way back home, not before stopping to buy some hot chocolate to drink while decorating their place. When they finished decorating it seemed as if an autumn monster had thrown up in there since the whole place was packed with decorations but somehow they made it work, there was a wreath on their front door, pumpkin light garlands around the windows, a bowl with tiny orange pumpkins were placed as a centerpiece on their table, some autumn-colored candles where placed on their coffee table in the living room, a tiny scarecrow welcomed you into the house, the cushions and blankets on their sofa were now in the same autumnal colors, and tiny bats hanging from the ceiling make the look complete.

Saying the day had been tiring was an understatement but Jennie couldn’t be any happier than watching her recently bathed babies babble about how much fun they had decorating the place for their Mommy, as soon as Jisoo had arrived they bombarded her with details about their day, so know that they had eaten dinner and were ready for bed Jennie could only feel blessed and content with her tiny family.

[benefits1986]

b bitchhhhh

So, every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face...

One of my Santa Ajumma is Britney. 'Di pa uso ang stan, devoted na ako sa kanya. Not a blind devotion kasi ambobo nung ganun. Funny lang kasi my soul sis is lambasting TS na these days and andun ako sa point na PR stunts lang lahat 'yan because the comeback's vibe needs to sustain its momentum. LOL. Pero, tawang-tawa ako kasi cancel kung cancel si TS ng mga new breed like Chapell. Sige lungs. Go lungs. You can't bait 'em TS. 'Di kaya ng very stereotypical Snow White vibes mo. Dun ka sa tabi.

So, Britney? Syempre, panget vocals. Hahahaha. Lalo sa live. Pero wala akong pake. Syempre, pabebe na akala mo bagets na chaste with JT pero alam mo naman. Pang-MTV Awards lang talaga ang mga paganaps, pero totoo rin naman 'yung lab story nila to a fault. Super daming awards pero sobrang kita mong 'yung mga themes niya are aligned sa vox populi. HAY. Pero wala pa rin akong pake.

Tugatog ng pagka-fan ko is when she shaved her head. OPAK. I get her simula noon, lalo ngayon. Nakakatawa lang kasi andaming bashers 'pag babae 'yung nagpakawala ng kashit-an sa mundo. Parang may mali sa pagiging emotionally charged e 'pag lalaki na nagpakawala ng kabobohan, applauded lagi. May vote pa sa highest seats of the land. LOL.

'Yung shaved head era niya makes more sense now kasi nauna lang siya sa mga fans niya na mag-air out ng dirty linen in a very controversial way. Wala rin siyang pake. 'Yung conservatorship niya, obvious din naman kasi parang weird lang ng dynamics niya sa family niya simula noon hanggang ngayon. It's giving very typical non-modern Snow White fam. LOL. LUH.

When the universe canceled her, I silently gave her a standing ovation with matching slow claps. Go, girl! Dami rin niyang shitzzz pero again, she is the pinnacle of how women try to make things fucking work at the expense of everything that they have and what they don't have, every time.

And soooooo, ano na? Let this be a reminder that sana makapag-shave ako ng head ko pero 'di ko pa kaya at this point. Why? Gusto ko lang. 'Yun lang talaga. Kahit talaga namang 'di tayo maganda in all levels at sabi nga, makikita mo talaga face ng girlalooo 'pag bald head siya. Shemay. E may sugat pa ako from pag-vacuum sa akin para makalabas na sa mundong ibabaw nung pinanganak ako. Pero, excited ako kelan ko 'to gagawin.

Wala namang triggers since H2 2024 na malala. More of sige, push pero know when to pull back. OPAK. Hahahaha. May natutunan na tayo, after all. Congrats, self! Galingan mo pa kahit bobo ka talaga most of the time. Like Britney, be the smooth criminal. EME. Hahaha. Katakot. LUH. Basta 'wag naman 'yung kadire version. 'Pang saktong Joe D Mango Love Notes na walang mga kadireng parts.

And, sometimes, run and hide... pero pakita ka rin, girlyyyy. Hahahaha. Keep trying. Be toxic pero limitahan mo rin depende sinong kadaupang palad mo at kung anong goal mo. Bahala ka na jan. And avoid mga "oops, I did it again" na talaga namang kahindik-hindik din naman ang plot twists. Try mong maging mas mabait ng slight lalo 'pag oks ang kausap mo, ha? Hahahahahaha. And definitely, hang onto your "me against the music" PL because it's your therapy. Period. Dami pa niyan, pero tama na muna.

Ayun lang naman. Though, the Corrs, Alanis atbp. sobrang oks na oks na oks din. Pero super chill nila e. Hahahaha. Doon tayo sa pasavogue na quirky. Always. LELS.

PS: Watching RPDR Season 3 after a hiatus. Sulit na sulit gift na sub sa akin ng kapatid kong magaling. Very kanal kaya sobrang goods pang-balanse ng English na 'di umaayaw. Hahahahaha. May pagba-bonding mode na naman kami ng tatay kong pakitong-kitong.

[lee-taeri]

𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦. 𝗪𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁!

[rk2-sharpshooter]

✎ [ isn't an eulogy written when someone dies tho... i'm laughing ]

[ Send ✎ for my muse to write a eulogy for yours // raskreia ]

『 … THE NEWS WAS SWIFT, 』 and altogether unexpected. Erga Kenesis di Raskreia… dead. 

In all his life, Takeo had been accustomed to death; he had walked alongside it, and fought with allies who worshipped it, and had himself sent so many people to their graves. And yet, to be so jarred by a death… nothing else had ever hit like this.

It was on a whim. He’d somehow found himself in a stationary shop, and had bought the best paper that he could find. Then, he set to work writing his drafts until he had found a few words that he could be pleased with — and it was just when he began rewriting all of his thoughts onto the new stationary that he realised that there would likely be no opportunity for him to visit Lukedonia, much less even speak at the ceremony. There were people far more important than he was, people who had known Raskreia centuries longer than Takeo had.

But still, he might as well finish now that he had gotten so far. It felt wrong to leave it half-written… to leave closure feeling so unobtainable. So he had kept writing.

And somewhere along the lines, his intentions of writing a proper eulogy had been lost, and sheet after sheet of paper had been discarded and tossed into the corner of his room until finally he had something; though it could likely no longer be called a eulogy. The definition of “eulogy” and the overwhelming flood of his own frustrations and anger had blurred together, until it had become something far too personal.

And still, he kept writing, like a man possessed.

❝ … on my last trip to Lukedonia, I had learnt a great number of things that I had never known before. The things that I picked up were largely concerning the existence and the culture of the noble race, a people that I had only heard of in passing before. And among these things also were whispered rumours of the Lord, Erga Kenesis di Raskreia.

❝ In honour of her memory, I feel that the nature of these statements should not be repeated here. I wish to instead speak of what was my impression of the Lord,  and not what others thought of her.

❝ The Lord was someone dear to me — that is the first thing I must say. Though the first time that I saw her, I thought her to be cold. Calculating. A woman and ruler whose emotions showed so little on her face that she might have been a statue if she weren’t walking and talking.

❝ But my intentions are not to insult Lord Raskreia… because my views of her changed over time, quickly enough, when she paid a visit to the human world. And to have the Lord of nobles asking me about how to style hair — and because she valued the time she spent with the human children she had befriended during her time there. All the things I had thought I’d known about Erga Kenesis di Raskreia were swiftly disproved, in a single evening.

❝ She was anything but cold. And she is one of the strongest people I have ever known. And one of the most kind, and beautiful people I have met.

❝ The most precious thing I found in Lukedonia wasn’t a wealth of knowledge. I don’t feel as if my greatest privilege was to set foot into the Lord’s castle, or to have been able to uncover information about nobility that for centuries, even the most brilliant minds on this earth have been unable to obtain.

❝ No — my greatest honour was to have been able to met Lord Raskreia, and to have been able to call her my friend. ❞

… 

❝Raskreia. I remember the first night that you spoke to me more clearly than any other memory, in this moment. Do you know why?

❝ Seeing you discover things you had never seen before, and things you had never even known could exist, was a delight for me. Do you know how it feels to be able to give something new and precious to someone? To show them that the world can be so much more than they had known? You must — it’s incredible. And being able to give someone memories that they’ll take with them for the rest of their life… being given a home here gave me those memories. You’ll be a part of them, now. I just hope that perhaps I’ve given you something that you can take with you to the next life.

❝ I remember each and every one of those memories now. And, God, I don’t want to. Remembering someone’s smile, and their happiness, when they’re gone… it hurts the most to know that you will never see that again. But whether or not I want to, I remember it all: every moment we shared together.

❝ … And I remember how devastating it was to realise that you had to leave behind the world that you had grown to love. I’m sorry that I never showed you everything that I said I would. I’m sorry that you never got to do everything that you had said that you wanted to do. You deserve so many more memories than you had the chance to build.

❝Raskreia. I only wish that you could have had the ordinary life that you wanted. I hope that wherever you are now, you’ve found the peace that you deserve. Perhaps, now that you’ve been relieved of the restriction of your duties, you’ll finally have the chance to come and go in the human world as you like… and see all the things that you hadn’t been able to see before. I’m not sure of afterlife for nobles; but after death, spirits of humans should be able to visit shrines, and there are festivals that you may see as well. They are lively, and much like the ones that you might have seen before during your time in Korea. Maybe you’ll see me, or Tao and M, or the rest of the household, at one of them.

❝ And perhaps you would be allowed to see more than just that, too… I don’t know all of the details. But if you can, you could finally visit all the places you’d wanted to go, that we didn’t have the time to take you to. 

❝ But you know that you are always welcome here.

❝ It feels strange to say that I miss you, when in comparison to others… I hardly knew you. But nothing that has happened to me since I came here has been all that ordinary, has it? 

❝ I do miss you. Because you became one of those dear to me, and one of those that I wished to protect. I know that you were much stronger than I could ever be, but my greatest regret will always be not having had the chance to have tried protecting you. 

❝ … I hope that you’ve found peace, now. Maybe someday, we’ll meet once more — then I’ll explain to you about all the things that you saw in your travels here from the other world, and all the things that might have puzzled you, when we do see each other again. ❞

Until then,          Takeo.

… the sheet of paper sat on the desk, finished and signed at the bottom.

And now that he was done, he had no clue what he would do with it. Maybe, he would burn the letter, and it would make its way to her somehow.

In the end, he couldn’t bear to look at it any longer. The letter was tucked into his drawer, inside a large tome so that it wouldn’t be creased or bent, and locked away. Then he sat back in his chair, at his desk, and heaved a long and heavy sigh.

The world seemed to have crawled to a standstill. Takeo still didn’t want to believe it; the woman who had been with him here, staring wide-eyed at his styling equipment and accessories just months ago… was gone.

And she would be missed, more than she could ever imagine.

[euphoriyoongi]

✿ True Beauty ✿

✿ Summary:

Your life changes as you learn new make-up techniques. You hide behind the make-up from your hurtful past, and Seokjin also loses joy from his hurtful past. You two rely on each other, sharing secrets.

✿ Pairings: Seokjin x reader x Yoongi

✿ Word count: 1.0k

✿ Warnings: talk of suicide

m.list

prev. // next.

✿ Part One: Ugly truth

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s the ugly truth. The world doesn’t treat you well if you’re not pretty.

I would word that differently if I could but…it’s true. Whether you admit it or not.

We’re all nearly born the same right? Down to the bone, we’re all just twin skeletons. But people don’t look at it that way. They always have to look to the surface and be superficial. Oh, maybe you’d look better with shorter hair—no, that wouldn’t be me then.

But what about plastic surgery? Then you’ll be pretty.

Again, no.

I was born into a family that believed looks were all a person had. My mom wasn’t so much of a beauty to the world’s standards, but my dad definitely was. But alas, I ended up with my mothers looks. I didn’t think much of it until my family, and everyone else, began to ridicule me because of how I looked. Sure, I wasn’t the prettiest but..I really couldn’t be that ugly, right?

According to everyone else, I was. And because of how everyone perceived me, I began to believe them. As I grew older I’d look at a part of my body that I wanted to change. I was always wanting to be someone else.

I wish my nose was a bit smaller, I wish I was a bit shorter. I wish I didn’t have so much acne.

Maybe then I’ll be pretty.

But is that what defines beauty?

Beauty should be defined as someone who’s lovely right down to the heart. Someone who knows to uplift others regardless of the exterior. It’s kind of funny, almost judging a book by its cover.

How are you supposed to know what’s inside if you don’t give it a chance?

As I aged in school, kids would throw their lunches at me. They would taunt me and make jokes that I looked like a dumpling. I couldn’t catch a break, and as I grew up like that, my self esteem became an inkling thing.

The world can be harsh, huh? My brother didn’t seem to have a hard time at all, though. He’s always got the attention of my mother, and the whole family as I would be standing behind him without a word.

I dreamed of being able to live my life without worrying I’m up to par….but its really difficult when you’re living as someone you want to change. It’s impossible to love yourself at that point.

To make matters worse, my family had just moved us back to our hometown. I guess we lost the house we were living in and had to go move back into our old one. I was dreading going into a new high school, and hopefully no one would tease me. Even though that was completely unlikely. Everywhere I go, at least someone would point out my looks.

If you don’t believe pretty privilege exists, then you must be pretty to society’s standards. Cause damn, people can be rude.

With all the self hatred came along thoughts of ending it all. It seems silly to someone else…but my feelings are real. They’re true to heart. I was told all my life that I’ll go nowhere. That I won’t even be suitable for a man. That I won’t even succeed in anything that I do. I let all that talk get into my head and take over my thoughts. There was no more “happy go lucky” y/n anymore. Just a hollow shell with nothing but degrading thoughts.

I brought myself up to the top of a building. I was going to do it. I had enough of all of this. I was going to end it.

The cool breeze flew through my hair as I stood at the edge, my legs shaking beneath me, begging me not to jump. Fluorescent lights covered my body head to toe from a giant billboard that stood from behind, offering the only source of light. No matter how many times I told myself to jump, my body wouldn’t let me. It was as if I was stuck in mid air—unable to breathe.

Suddenly another large billboard lit up brightly right in front of me, as if it was a message.

It’s was a sign to commemorate former idol Jung Se-Yeon. It would’ve been his birthday had he not passed away. Wow. He would’ve been eighteen if he was …

still…living…

I can’t do this.

Just as I was about to step down, a loud voice screamed from behind.

“Don’t do it!”A boy’s voice yelled, and footsteps banged across the ground, getting louder with each second.

It was even before I could turn my head when I felt the boy’s hands grab my stomach, pulling me back and sending both of us tumbling to the ground with a thump. My glasses flew off my face and tens of floors down to the road, and the boys arms were wrapped around me tightly, not letting me go as I laid on top of him.

His heavy breaths echoed through my head, his hair a mess all over his face. I couldn’t see his features enough to know who he was since my glasses were gone, but who was he to do that? Did he know me?

“Ah.” He paused, catching his breath as he looked at me, almost angrily. “Don’t you ever think that of doing that again.” He paused, shaking his head. “You have absolutely no idea how much your family would be devastated.”

Who was this guy?

~~

Over the summer before the new school year, I couldn’t stop thinking of the boy who saved me. Well, I guess I was going to come down anyway, but still nonetheless he saved me. Who was he? And why was he angry at me?

“Why would you even think about doing this?”

“You matter, what the hell is wrong with you.”

“Think about the people you’d hurt if you did it!”

He talked to me as if he knew me his whole life. When I asked him if he knew me, his only response was a blunt “no.” And he walked away. To his surprise, the elevator was closed for cleaning. I also had no sight whatsoever, and he ended up having to carry me down over ten flights of steps. I feel bad, honestly, but he was honestly okay with it. At least that what he said. He called me Ajumma a few times and I decided not to correct him, he was helping me out.

As I kept thinking about him one night while I was on my phone, an ad for a video popped up. “New makeup tricks for the new you!” It read out, with a thumbnail of a beautiful girl holding makeup.

New me? I could go for that.

As I watched the video, I had convinced myself that I was going to be the master of makeup before the new school year. Nearly every day I’d try a new look, and fail. My brother Jimin never held his laughter back as I looked like a clown, but I tried my best to become someone I always wanted to be. And with a few hundred dollars spent and lots and lots of mess ups, I finally had perfected my makeup. I wasn’t going to be that shy, ugly girl anymore. I was going to be the one everyone wanted. It only took about three months for it to all come together. I was starting school next week, and I was going to own it.

Take that, you bullies. It’s my time to shine.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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@moonchild1

[thingsthatpopintomymind]

Context is important

Ok so for those of you who dont know Hyunjin has been accused of black face, which if taken out of context you could see why people would think that and mnet using it as the thumbnail was a bad call, period. They know they're international fans are the majority so they really should've thought twice how this looks out of context. So what is the Context? If you watch the actual video you will see they we're playing a game where they had to dress up and try to make each other laugh. They do this by wearing various costumes and acting funny. Hyunjin came out wearing a permed wig and big red lips which can be concerning for international fans at first glance but if you read the caption it states "Hyunjin has turned into Hong-Dukke's wife" So who's Hong-Dukke? He is a character from a popular 80s cartoon in Korea and his wife is Go-eunae who is suppose to be a stereotypical ajumma aka middle aged korean woman who is best known to have permed hair and gossip which is where the big lips come in, it is not representing a person of color, but it is to represent someone who talks alot or a gossiper which she is known for in the show. Now I can't tell you how to feel or what to do but what I and we as people can do is research and pay attention to context before jumping to conclusions and making accusations. If you still feel unsettled by it then fine you have the right to feel however you want, I'm not saying that, what I am saying is just do research and understand context and intentions before making accusation posts and posting out of context clips. So no his intention was not black face it was a stereotypical ajumma character which if we watch the video we can find out by reading the caption. Now how you feel about it after reading this is completely up to you, I can't tell you how to feel or what to do, this is just to provide context, but if it truly does still bother you instead of sending hate and misinformation send a message to JYP, explain how it looks to international fans, spreading things on social media will really only inform other people and fandoms, if you really want something done you have to go the source. Now if you're not offended that's fine too but don't talk over the ones who are, give them the context, give them the info and let them make their own decisions. We can't force anyone to feel a certain way, all we can do is provide the correct information. So I hope this gave you guys some context so please stop spreading misinformation and if you're truly concerned message JYP and explain the situation

[commajade]

thank you for your service in roasting that tourist lmao. can't believe they wrote boricha instead of just. barley tea lol

yw!! i was very nice about it cuz i didn't wanna just be picking fights with random tourists' years old journal entries but it's so so funny. white people don't know what barley is i guess???? the whole thing is so funny she made it sound like she found a tiny shop in the mountains and was deeply immersed in korean culture cuz she heard one ajumma's sales pitch. the ceramics look so good i love those kinds of shops if i could i would spent entirely too much time there cept that would mean i buy too many pieces. an ajumma tells u her life story u can't leave without buying anything it's rude.

also talking like like jeong is hospitality and some special tourist treatment she received and not meaning every single kind of attachment to a person thing or place. i've spent a lot of time learning about what things like jeong han and heung are so seeing them mentioned randomly is very funny to me 참 묘해.

[muilkyu]

Comfort in the Sunrise

Genre: Fluff with a tiny bit of angst

Member: Doyoung

Word Count: 2.2k

Requested by: @rainyviolet

"What are you doing Friday night?" 

"I don't have any plans. I was going to go to cram school, but I just decided to catch up early on my math notes last night," I shrug reaching for my math workbook out my locker

Doyoung smiles, "Perfect. What do you think about a movie night?" 

"That sounds fun. What is playing in theaters right now?" 

"Actually I was thinking we could watch it in your dorm. Last time you came over my mom had us keep the door open the whole time," he shivers probably at the thought of his overbearing mother. 

I can't have Doyoung at the dorm again. The last time I snuck him in we ended up falling asleep on a school night. We got into a bunch of trouble with his parents. I wasn't able to see him for a month and a half including school. Mrs. Kim had spies all over the school. 

"I don't think that's a good idea. Your mom will kill you and me if she finds out." 

"That's exactly why I'll tell her I'm staying at Yedam's. He'll vouch for me." Doyoung suggests. I know right then and there he has been planning this out. 

"What if your mom calls his mom?" I ask, closing my locker. Then I turn to fully face him. I wonder how long he has been planning this. Probably the other night after we went to Daiso he was distracted.

Doyoung reaches for my books. He likes to carry them for me. He says he's just being a good boyfriend, but it's kinda embarrassing. Some girls around school think I push him around when it's actually nothing like that. It's actually the fact that Doyoung wants to be someone I can rely on so he just does little things that take the stress off my shoulders. 

"She won't. My mom trusts his mom a lot." Doyoung counters as you start your walk to your homeroom. 

"No, it's not a good idea. I don't want you to get in trouble." I conclude shaking my head. 

He wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer whining, "Why not? Come on I'll be super careful." 

"No Doyoung and that's final I have to study anyway," I say, pushing him off my shoulders. I don't want to be harsh, but he'll keep bothering me about it if I don't make the situation semi-serious. 

"You'll change your mind," he says as we reach my homeroom. 

-

When lunch comes Doyoung is already at the door of the classroom waiting for you. He is holding his ID up between two fingers. Which means he wants both of you to go to the school pantry instead of getting lunch. A dead indication that he still wants to convince you to have a movie night. 

"Come on, let's go, we only have 45 minutes." 

I get up making my way over to him, "Don't try to buy your way over to my dorm." 

He gasps dramatically putting his hand over his chest, "Of course not. Can't I just get us some food." 

I looked at him, my eyebrow raised, "You're not gonna convince me." 

"I'm not even gonna try." 

-

When Friday comes around it seems that Doyoung has decided to give up on trying to come over. He does however seem to be sad about it. Although he doesn't want to show it he's sad you didn't agree. I just hoped that he would see that it was the best for both of you. 

"Are you still mad about the movie?" I ask after school on Friday. 

"No, I'm over it. You're right my mom would be mad if she found out and you could get in trouble too." Doyoung says. He has his arms crossed over his chest with my books placed in his arms. 

I feel bad. I decided to change the topic, "What are you going to do tonight instead?" 

"I'm just going to go to Yedam's we are going to work on a song for his class." He replies. 

"Finally I love it when you sing," I compliment pushing his shoulder. I'm teasing it a little bit. 

He turns red with a flush on his face, "I'm not even that good of a singer."

"Don't lie. You sing way better than I could ever." 

This makes Doyoung's face turn completely red. He holds the books a little tighter to his chest, "Whatever. It's getting late, you should head home." 

It's only like 5, but I still agree to head home. Korea is safe, but not every place is 100% safe. "Text me when you finish your song with Yedam I wanna be the first one to hear it." 

"Of course I'll see you later." 

-

"Add in two tablespoons of Korean Red Pepper Flakes. I usually use two, but you can use more depending on the amount and how spicy you want your tteokbokki." The Korean ajumma instructs. I'm watching a video on how to make tteokbokki. I'm craving it but delivery is expensive when you don't have a job.

"Is that too much?" I questioned to myself. I don't want it to be super spicy, but I also don't want it to be bland. "You know what I should have just made grilled cheese. It would have been simple, easy, and not take me 30 minutes." 

I added the red pepper to the pot watching it as the water turned bright red. Hopefully, the red pepper won't add too much of a kick. I keep watching the video as the lady adds in more red pepper to the pot. As I wonder if I have cheese on the top of my tteokbokki someone knocks at my door. 

It's probably just one of the girls from next door. Usually, they ask me if I want to crash at their place and watch a movie. Being away from home can get super lonely. Without even second-guessing myself I open the door. Instead of seeing one of my neighbors, I'm met with a smiling Doyoung. 

"Surprise," he says. Walking into the threshold of my apartment, arms opened waiting for a hug. 

"How did you get in?" I question instead. If Doyoung comes over I usually have to sneak him in before curfew. Which also consists of me hiding him in my closet when the RA comes to check our rooms.

He shuts the door walking in, "I had one of the girls hide me." 

"You had another girl hide you in their room! What is wrong with you?" I exclaim my eyes wide. He really is an idiot. 

"Don't worry it was one for the 1st year girls. I think she has a crush on me. She was blushing a lot," he casually responds walking into the kitchen, "Oh you're making food. Can I have some?" 

"No, you can't. You shouldn't even be here. You have to leave." I complain following him. 

He sighs, getting a bowl down from the cabinet, "Too late now. It would be a risk to sneak me back out." 

"I can't believe this is your idea of a surprise." I make my way back to the stove. I check on the rice cakes to see if they are soft. 

"It's not that big of a deal." He shrugs off. 

I turn around at that remark. "No, it is a big deal. Getting caught means I won't be able to see you anymore. Not only that, but I could get kicked out of school." 

His look slightly changes after my comment, "I didn't think about that. Look babe I'm sorry I snuck into your dorm. I should have listened when you kept telling me no." 

Frowning I think about the situation he's just put us in. Since he can't leave until the morning might as well just eat and watch a movie or something. "It's okay. Should we eat now?" 

-

Later on into the night, the streets are dead silent. No more cars can be heard on the roads. The building is also at a halt with all the girls probably asleep by now. Doyoung and I just decided to finish off the food. Didn't take very long since I only technically made enough for one person, but in light of the recent intruder, I had to share. We just decided to watch Hi Bye Mama which led to us cuddling on the couch. My head is lying on his shoulder. It's around 2 am by now which means we should probably go to sleep now. 

"Are you tired?" I ask, resisting the urge to yawn. 

"Yeah, we should probably go to bed now." He stands up stretching, arms outstretched, a yawn leaving his mouth. I get up right after him picking up one of the throw pillows on the couch. Doyoung squinted his eyebrows raised confused, "Are we sleeping on the couch?" 

"No I'm gonna sleep on my bed you're taking the couch."

He groans, "We usually sleep together." 

I continue to arrange the couch into a makeshift bed. I snorted, "That was before you completely ignored what I said and well I don't know snuck into my dorm. Not to mention you had a 1st year help you." 

I start to walk off but am pulled back by a frowning Doyoung, "If I sleep here my back will hurt. Please I promise no funny business." 

"Nope, you broke my trust. You sleep on the couch," I say patting him on the check. I walk away before he can say anything else. Although I can hear him mumbling under his breath. 

-

At around 5 I wake up in a cold sweat. My head is burning up. Not to mention the headache I have feels even worse. Trying to get up is also a no go. Every time I try to sit up, my stomach churns. My throat is sore too. I feel paralyzed. 

"Doyoung," I try to call out. It hurts to yell, but I still call out for him. 5 minutes or so passes before I finally hear my bedroom door open. 

"Are you okay?" Doyoung asks from the door. It's nearly pitch dark in my room. The only light is from the sunrise that is slowly beaming in through the curtains. 

I don't respond verbally just slowly trying to shake my head. When the pain hits I let out a cry the tears start to fall from my eyes. Doyoung is over at the bed crouched down within seconds. He feels my forehead as soon as he reaches the bed. 

"You're burning up. Are you sick? Should I go get some medicine?" 

I just groan in disagreement. I manage to croak out a small 'water'. He's up and out after that. The tears start to fall faster when the fridge door is opened. I finally manage to shift in my bed immediately curling myself into a ball. Doyoung came back with a cup of water and straw after I moved. Sitting by the side of my bed he reaches over to wipe the hair out of my face. 

"Here take a sip," I take a small sip from the cup which helps. My throat is no longer dry. There are still soft caresses on my head. Doyoung shifts from his knees to sitting on his butt. His eyes are wide and filled with concern. All the attention is on me. It's kinda embarrassing that I have to rely on him for so much. 

"I'm sorry," I get out. My throat is still scratchy, but it doesn't hurt as much to speak. 

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," he replies. His hand moves to rest on my cheek. His thumb moves slightly wiping at the tear stains. He lets out a sigh, "Can you tell me what happened?" 

I try to look anywhere else, but at him. This is really not how I wanted my Saturday to go. I should tell him though he'll understand. Doyoung usually knows what to say and what to do. If I tell anyone it should be him.

"Yeah, I just had a bad dream," I confess.

"Ah," is how he responds. I can tell he is thinking about what the right thing to say is. One of the reasons I like him so much. Although I am a little standoffish he always pushes me to open up. Little by little he has become a rock for me. 

"I'm sure you don't want to tell me about it. I won't force you to do anything you don't want too. Look I will stay with you till you don't want me to be here anymore. Or if you want me to leave now I will. What is your choice?" 

"Stay." 

Doyoung nods he gets up from his spot on the floor. Slipping his slippers off he climbs over me laying down in the bed. He pulls the sheets back and snuggles into a pillow. I slowly turn around to look at him. 

The smile he gives me makes me forget about the headache pounding in my head. The only thing in my mind is him. I really am lucky to have him.

--

I hope you enjoyed! Sorry this was a little sad!

My requests are opened again!

[clementineesotsm]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 3, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel

I will start the eps with 1 of the best line from this series.

“Among real numbers, Zero is my favorite. You have the nature of that number. Usually a zero means that there is nothing, but its actually a number of absolute power. It can nullify any number or take everything away from it. What makes money powerful is not the number at the front, but the number zeros behind it. A number trapped in a root symbol can escape under only two circumstances. The need to have a square root or meet the powerful number, zero”

This is (for me) one of the best subtle confession in a series that i have ever watch. It is related to the person’s background, its flirty, honest but not cheesy. Well written.

I love how Lee Gon says it and i love JTE annoyed expression (or probably she fluttered but did not want to show it 🤓) . Gon annoyed because JTE seems dont understand his sincerety and ended up teasing her as a bear. Which is cute.

At first i was shock that he really take JTE to the bamboo forest, later we realize that he is just teasing her, he did not bring the flute. I cannot point it one by one but their bickering in this particular scene was very funny but also serious. At this point i think a part of JTE believed him but she is in denial. And this scene for me was quite important, because we see Gon’s honesty once again about him being a king at 8 and his first duty was to do funeral for his dad also how Gon’s was actually pay attention to what JTE was saying about her being cold and lend his jacket to her, very gentle. This little things were what i think made JTE feels something different towards him. In this episode also drawn me deeper to Gon’s character, i love how he is very paying attention to detail and to what it is JTE says, as it is a very important things. Here he knew about kim sowol from JTE, but damn i did not realize that the poems will be bery important for the entire series later on. Anyway Kudos to the writer and the actors for acting it up very natural.

Then we saw KSJ! I love him from the beginning and this scene where he saw the Corea logo on maximus saddle. And we got to see the logo again in his book. I love the tension they created with the music and the way they connected and moves from this scene in Korea to the scene in Corea was very good. Then they zoom in the ajumma for us to realize later that this ajumma works in the palace was KSJ moms. Kudos to the editor or producer. Because this drama is about to see the detail. If you see it you will be amaze by how good it is

One of underated character in this series was probably Seungah, because her character was so interesting and so much potential to add value to the story. Both Nari and Seung ah could created more tense actually but they did not really use them, but okay. No problem.

This eps also brings us a closer look to PM Koo character. Aside of the greed shes having, she is actually good in doing her job. Very realistic. When Gon asked her wheter she is an honest person or not? Her answer was very satisfying “honesty is only a priviledge that King/royal family has since you dont need to look for an approval rating by the public. But i am a politicians” and also she is quite honest about wanting to use Kings action of paying tax as a way to get approval ratings and will start from cancelling salary raised of the congress team. Kings really pick a good PM though. One of her powerful lines was when this congress guys insult her by saying that she got to be PM because the support of the party team and now she is the PM she is only out more make up and be a crap to the team. Then she says “if this position can be kept only by dressing and make up, you can do the same as well!” Her line, her acting here was powerful. I love her to be honest

This episode has many of my fav scene. Here we also had to see JTE meeting Gon after she got no result to his dna. She is definitely trying to understand what is this person in front of him. We got to see the infamous MSD (making, shaking, drinking) with JTE side eyed Gon for not knowing how to mix alcohol and “The King one shot” line. Them replying each other words with the same phrase was very clever writings by the writer

JTE: 아휴, 지어내지마 (dont make things up!)

Go: 자네 그거 알아야돼. 내가 지어내잖아? 그럼 그게 곧 법이 돼 (do you know? If i make things up that will be a law)

JTE: 너 그거 알아야돼. 내가한대치잖아? 그럼 그게 곧 멍이 돼 (do you know? If i hit you that will make a bruised)

And Gon teased JTE also that King and Queen was living in Busan just in case shes curious 🤣 but aside from them this scene also very important, because Gon explaining kind of detail of what kind of country Corea is. Which we need to pay attention to for the sake of our understanding to the entire series. They are at the brink of war in Japan, they are 1 country not divided and that they are running in constitutional monarch etc (watch it!)

Moving on we got to see Yeong being completely worried about Gon and having a flashback when he had a conversation with Gon about Gon’s worried that the autopsy report of Lee Rim might be incorrect. He said a symbol in math could help you to define a phenomenone. He suspicious that Lee Rim use the body as a symbol to show that he was dead. But what was added to the real him? What is this body that looks like him but not him? Then as the flashback fade and comesback to lonely Yeong at the Kings studies room, he said “where are you King? What was added to you?” This was one of the most clever dialogue as well, it was though out nicely. Kudos again to the writer. Also to the camera work and the cinematography, this particular scene has a great both camera work and cinematography!

To be continued..

[perqedel]

hospital playlist (2020) / ★★★★★

hello yes of course i wouldn’t miss up on one of the dramas that kept me sane this year

*presses play on aloha by cool*

the infamous variety-turn-drama PD, shin PD, came through once again with a work that’s filled with tears, laughs, sweets, and a bit of blood perhaps

hospital playlist may not be something that i will never get bored of, like Reply 1988, but it’s definitely in the same file. i love that it’s realistic. sure doctors are cool. omg. professors! surgeon professors! yelling at the operation room, running to save the patients, and all that stuff (you can see all sorts of this coolness in grey’s anatomy or other kinds). other than those... stuffs, hospital playlist shows you the real behind-the-curtain things. 

how these professors, who have studied for years, also have to study until late at night before an operation. how doctors, just like any other human being, have troubles with separating works and feelings. (i mean, students are taught to be empathetic and sympathetic but they don’t actually tell us how we apply that into work in the future). how some students (even until they become residents) are so obsessed with works, assignments, or scores, that sometimes they forget things that matter the most. how these 40 year old professors also cry and think of quitting (almost every month) when they fail. how scary these cool-looking jobs are, because every day you have to make a choice, and any wrong step, even if it’s just one, could push the patient closer to their death bed. 

aside from that bitterness, hospital playlist brings you the fun! i still laugh when i think about the karaoke scene, the first band practice scene, or the helping cafeteria ajumma scene. i think it’s a signature of shin PD? simple witty humor that somehow gets you laughing out loud.

last but of course the most important, lee uju himself. he’s been grabbing all commercials lately and i probably will never get tired of seeing him. the kid is literally a pure ball of cuteness (go, kim jun!). uju’s calling his dad a nightclub rat is still funny, even while i’m writing this long-ass review. 

anyways so a closing ment: you’re definitely missing something if you don’t watch this drama.

[myechoecho]

Crash Landing on You, Ep 16

I have the most mixed emotions about this ending. I knew I wasn’t going to be totally happy but I’m not sure I expected this.

Firstly, Dan and Seung Jun deserved better. I wasn’t very invested in them but even I think they deserved way better. Seung Jun dies within the first 5 minutes and Dan is going to be alone for the rest of her life?? What nonsense is this? Honestly, I’m more outraged for Dan than anything else. She wasted 10 years of her life clinging to a one sided crush. She moves on only to have the man she loves and who loves her die in front of her.  UGH. That’s just garbage. If I was actually invested I might have just rage quit the episode (I’ve done it before for other shows on the last episode).

I will say, once more, that I adore Dan’s mom and uncle. They love and support her unconditionally.

Se Ri’s mom also really stepped up. She told Se Ri that Jeong Hyeok stayed by her side the entire time she was in the hospital. She drove Se Ri to say goodbye to Jeong Hyeok. And it looks like she continued to work on her relationship with Se Ri.

Se Ri and Jeong Hyeok’s good bye nearly broke my heart. Se Ri asked him to stay. In all that time it was something she never asked him, even though she desperately wanted him to stay. Jeong Hyeok says that he has no regrets for anything that happened. And that she was a gift to him. He asks her to wait and they say their last I love yous.

I cannot believe that Jeong Hyeok set up text messages to send to Se Ri for a YEAR. You know he would have done it for longer had there not been that limit. Even when he is not there, he is taking care of her and making sure she eats and is happy (or as happy as she could be).

The adore the ajummas and how Se Ri showed that she didn’t forget them.

Se Heyong and Sang A finally got arrested.

Chi Su as the new captain is the most ridiculous, yet awesome thing to happen. I love how reluctant the rest of the ducklings are about this development (and how disappointed the ajummas are). Chi Su somehow becoming addicted to shampoo, conditioner and body was will never not be funny to me. But I’m happy that the ducklings are doing well. And that Man Bok no longer listens in on secrets.

3 years. It took 3 years for them to reunite. I LOVED that they brought back the train quote. I had been hoping that they would and they didn’t disappoint.

If I understand this ending right, Jeong Hyeok hasn’t defected and is in Switzerland with the symphony. Which means that Se Ri has to fly to Switzerland to be with him for a couple of weeks at a time. And I think it also means he could be sent back to North Korea at any point. I suppose part of the reason he won’t leave just yet is his parents (his mom was ready to commit suicide if he didn’t return). At least if he’s in Switzerland he can talk and text Se Ri. And it is better than if they were separated permanently. They seem to be making it work. But it’s a less than ideal ending.

Overall, though I love this show.  It’s probably one of my favourite ones ever.  Were there massive plot holes and gaps in logic? Yes. Did I have to suspend my disbelief multiple times? Yes. Were the episodes a bit too long? Yes. But I don’t really care because everything else was so good I was able to ignore these things and enjoy the ride. Part of me wants to make a list of all the questionable logic in this show.

I’m not sure any show will top it for the year. I’m going to miss it.