yeah this re-entrance into Sherlock is making me understand what the fuck Ed Sheeran was talking about in Castle on the Hill
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
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I love how extreme found family is in one piece. Like they took supernatural line of "Family don't end in blood" and actually made good on it. Because it's not just that the crew found each other even before that only really very briefly Robin, Usopp and Luffy could say that anyone biologically related to them raised them.
Like Luffy had Garp and that's his grandpa but he also had Makino and Shanks and the red hair pirates and they were a family unit and he also had Ace, Sabo Dandan and the bandits and they were a family as well and it's never who mattered more to Luffy or who actually raised him cause they all did. It'd be hard to put him in a nuclear family structure because so many people fill the same roles in his life in different ways and that's great like Kung Fu panda said "that doesn't mean less for one parent it just means more for Luffy"
And that's the thing I think sometime fandom can get very obsessive with trying to pin down who is whose surrogate father/mother how do they fit in the nuclear family structure and while that's fun and there's nothing wrong with head cannon characters that way I also think it's important to remember that not every relationship needs a title or definition sometimes you are just family and that's valid too.
Ace had Luffy and Garp but he also had the whitebeard pirates and his pops same with Sabo and the revolutionaries
Zoro with Kuina and his old kendo master, that was maybe more of a rivals, mentor mentee relationship than whatever Mihawk Zoro and Perona had going on but it's all family none the less.
Chopper with Hiririluk and Kureha. Perona and Moria, Usopp with the little village boys and Kaya. Shanks and Buggy with the Roger Pirates. They might not all have had defined roles with each other but it was still family.
Just like Sanji, Nami, Franky and Law and their more defined Surrogate familes
And people like Vivi Robin Usopp and Shirahoshi who had/have their biological parents/family that love them and raised them.
It's nobody that I've just mentioned properly fitting squarely into any of these categories because it's all complicated family is complicated and its messy and it's big and everyone in your family might not have even met but it's family and it doesn't end in blood and for some people it never started there either.
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something i really appreciate about the silt verses finale is that carson being unwritten from the narrative didn't change anything on a wider scale. because of course it didn't. he admitted it himself; he's just one guy in an entire system of abuses and cruelty and people fighting to be the one calling the shots. cutting off a few more heads will only free up more spaces for new ones to grow and trample one another in the bid for power. which makes how he dies all the more impactful in spite of how narratively and personally "unsatisfying" it is - despite the utter denial of catharsis - for both his and VAL's character arcs. because in the end, they both realised the truth, and were able to accept it with dignity.
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
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In case the news hasn't reached tumblr yet there is a block list for celebrities who went to the met gala (which costs 75,000 to attend) amd haven't spoken out about Palestine
Here is the blocklist. Lizzo removed after apologizing and donating. Zendaya and Selena Gomez on thin ice after an instagram story about raising money but no proof she donated and support in the past but intentional silence now
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