#THEYRE ACES PARENTS REAL TRUST.

[stinkymicrowavedfish]

[splatoonpolls]

SPLATOON OC TOURNEY ROUND 2 BATTLE 9

Big Swig (she/her) by @libbecnoir vs Angelo (He/Him) by @hydrasango

PROPAGANDA/BACKSTORY

BIG SWIG

big swig if human she doesn’t battle much herself but supports her girlfriend (tri slosher noveau) in her attempts to be a top tier weapon. she is also the coach of the local elementary school softball team. she is a big fan of SODA!!

ANGELO

Angelo was born to really strict parents who were highly influenced by octarian propaganda and wanted him to take up a military job. At age 14 him and his older sister both are caught within audible range of the Calamari Inkantation, this causes his older sister to leave very shortly after. Angelo takes almost two years to leave octarian society, due to conflicting thoughts on his family and friends. Ultimately he does decide to leave on the night before his military training was supposed to begin, and only a few months before the events of Octo Expansion take place. He only has a few vivid memories of his past, the only real fond memory he still has being his sister who he will look for for years up until a year before the events of Splatoon 3. After the events of Octo Expansion Angelo stays with Pearl and Marina for a few years due to holding an immense trust with the two. Pearl and Marina even help him select his chosen name since he hadnt had a chance to really think about one because of all that was happening. Currently Angelo is happily living together with Axel (Captain 3) and. Ace (Agent 4) in a Splatsville apartment (theyre literally gay as fuck)

BTW OC POST

[ilatians]

so i love law and all things to do with law but i gotta say that sometimes the US courts REALLY SUCK and honestly ace attorney isnt even that ridiculous compared with real things that have happened in courts. i speak from personal experience here, and whooo boy do i have a story to tell you

so my parents are divorced, and circa 2020 my dad decides to start a mask factory (he’s an entrepreneur who has started several mildly successful businesses). however, he doesnt have a ton of employees at first and has a ton of backlogged orders, so what does he do? he makes his kids (4 of us, i was 14 at the time and the oldest) help out packaging masks and fulfilling orders. we work throughout the whole summer of 2020, sometimes working 12 hour long shifts. technically, this is legal under texas’s labor laws, which state that underage children can work unlimited hours if their parent owns the company. HOWEVER what isn’t legal is that we’re working near heavy machinery that’s capable of cutting off people’s fingers (and did!!) i personally even OPERATED a machine once (not one with sharp objects, but still considered heavy machinery) under texas labor laws, children can’t work in buildings with heavy machinery around until they’re 17, and they certainly cant operate it until theyre 18. i was aware of this at the time, but because i was getting paid $20 an hour and disliked arguing with adults i went along with this. a year or so later i looked back and realized, “hey, that was fucked up!!” and i can generally trace most of my mental health issues to around that time (i experienced a severe mental breakdown partway through the summer and couldn’t stop crying over the thought of working!!!)

at one point recently i spoke with my mother over how it was probably illegal, and she mentioned that about a year after it was all finished she had spoken to a divorce lawyer over using his child endangerment as a way to win full custody (my mother has always been a far better parent than my father anyways and i wouldve supported it), and he said that “because it happened a year ago and nobody reported it, we can’t do anything anymore”

d-do y’all realize what this means?? do you realize how easily people can manipulate the law simply by scaring those around them into not reporting shit???? one person’s report could have saved us (and trust me, my sibs and i have been through just as bad since then, but it’s also not reportable) but they didnt. and we were kids too young to realize what was happening. and now i cant do anything about it. i cant get any closure on being ABUSED and subjected to CHILD LABOR because we didnt report it at the right time. and i think thats fucking ridiculous.

if you can afford to risk losing your job, report it. you can help save kids’ lives. the court systems are screwed, do your best to help make them less so.

[unpopularshipbracket]

Round 1b Match 13

Kyoko/Ayaka (Re:Mind)

fic count: 2

"They have 2 stories on AO3. Re:mind features the members of the Jpop girl group Hinatazaka46 and the characters have the same names as the members who play them. I’m nominating the fictional characters from the show, not the RPF ship."

Char Aznable/Amuro Ray (Universal Century Gundam)

fic count: 178

"They're still a ship even if they have a whole movie about their metaphorical divorce that ends in mutual death just trust me bro. if anything the destruction of their relationship is the main appeal. Interpreting the followup conclusion movie in a gay way strengthens it really because its mostly driven by chars emotional state. And his metaphorical divorce certainly affects his emotional state. These two fought both on opposite sides and the same sides of wars, so they understand eachother better than anyone else could, but the only intimacy they know is violence because this is a setting plagued by conflict, and such conflict has shaped who they are, so of course their relationship starts and ends with them fighting on opposite sides. They do experience some happiness together, though. For a while, while theyre both on the same side, they end up mentoring this one kid together, it's almost like they're his gay dads."

"Also this isn't relevant to anything but I want to impart onto you knowledge about chars name. It isn't his original name, but it is his real name in the sense that if you successfully steal a dudes identity after killing him for atleast a decade Its Just Yours Now. Char is actually his third name. His parents named him casval rem daikun and he was forced to go into hiding under the name edouard mass. His fourth name, that he uses when he and amuro are on the same side, is quattro bajeena. You know, like four vagina. He named himself that. When he stops using the quattro identity he goes back to being char, and like I know the whole killing a dude to get the name thing is technically a retcon, but it's hilarious to me that he took over this guys life so effectively that a) no one noticed and b) its became his default name."

I'm putting this in as well bc the gundam I watched was Gundam Wing/AC and I can't believe that I'm only just now finding out that Quatre Raberba Winner isn't just a bad name, but a bad name this is I guess a reference to an older bad name???? They also reused parts of this backstory for Trowa lmao

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[lilulo-12fanfiction]

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 part 1

So I had to split this into 2 chapters because it’s really long. I’m not big on regurgitating content but it was a good way to set the story up further. Going forward there will be more original content with some cannon thrown in. P.S. IDGAF about Cannon if it doesn’t work well for my story.

I’d love it if you reblogged, gave feedback, etc.

Let me know if you want to be tagged

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@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112

Nora smiled to herself as she approached Bruce Banner, Natasha and Steve. She was ecstatic to meet Bruce Banner. She hadn’t seen Natasha in a while and well Steve was another story altogether.

“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned Steve looking incredibly apprehensive.

“Only word I care about.” Such a Steve Rogers thing to say. She watches as Banner seemed to relax, if only slightly.

“Well he won’t be doing it alone.” Nora beamed at the 3 of them. “Besides myself I’m quite positive that my Uncle will show his face after getting through Coulson’s information bomb he gave us last night. No way is he missing out on this.”

“Nora Stark.” The red headed assassin smiled back at Nora.

“Good to see you Rusty. It’s been too long.”

“Well Tony isn’t my biggest fan. So I’ve steered clear.” Natasha shrugged.

“Well stop it. No one cares what he thinks.” Natasha shook her head at Nora. The attitude was 110% Tony Stark.

“Hello Nora.” Steve finally spoke after observing her.

“Hello Captain. Good to see you again.” She watched as the heat rose to his face and turned to Bruce Banner before she reacted and stuck her hand out.

“Well apparently my friends here forgot their manners. Dr. Banner, I’m Nora Stark. I’m a huge fan of your work. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Bruce tentatively shook her hand.

“You’re not scared to be around me?” Bruce looked at her small stature and assumed she’d be terrified. She shrugged.

“Why would I be?” She smiled. Her kind eyes put him at ease. She linked her arms through Bruce’s. “C’mon Dr. Banner. Let’s go do what we nerds do so the super heroes can get to work” Nora gave Steve a wink only he could see and led them towards the Helicarrier.

“Okay Bruce, apparently Loki is in Germany. I highly doubt the Tesseract is with him.” Nora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I agree.” Bruce didn’t look up from the computer screen.

“I’m going to head out to Fury. I need to see this. Let me know when you need me.” Bruce nodded again and Nora headed out of the lab and down to the main section of the Helicarrier.

As she made her way out to the main deck, she could hear AC/DC over the comms and then her Uncle’s voice. “Agent Romanoff, you miss me?”

“I see I made it just in time for the show.” She crossed over to where Fury was standing and he Gave her a smirk.

“Make a move Reindeer Games” Nora watched as Natasha landed the Quinjet to capture Loki.

“He doesn’t have the tesseract with him. And we haven’t located it yet. But the staff he carries, the one that turned one of your best parents into a puppet. I’m thinking that might help us.”

“I agree, Nora. Go let Dr. Banner know what’s going on and both of you join us back here once they’re back on this ship.” Nora nodded at the order and headed to retrieve Dr. Banner. She turned her comm on so she could listen in to their ride with Loki and was privy to the fight between the three men.

A little while after Loki was on the ship, Nora made her way back down to the main deck to discuss Loki. Dr. Banner would be joining them shortly. As she approached she heard her Uncle refer to someone as “Point Break”. She rolled her eyes and made herself known.

“Oh good. You’re all done playing swords. Did you find out who’s the biggest or did you just waste our time?”

“See that’s what makes you my favorite Stark. You’re infinitely more funny than Tony.” Natasha and Nora smiled at each other.

“What? No! Absolutely not! You’re not helping on this mission!” Tony wasn’t exactly surprised to see Nora but he wasn’t going to allow her to jump into the line of danger.

“You say that like you still have a say in the choices I make” Nora scoffed at her Uncle. “You need me. If you didn’t Pepper wouldn’t have asked me to come and Fury wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Nora I know you’re brilliant but we can do this without you.” Tony shot back. Steve watched on with interest.

“No you can’t. You need my memory and my professional abilities.” Nora was just as stubborn as her Uncle. This wasn’t going to end quickly.

“Your memory? What does that mean.” Nora looked over to the heavy accented voice that was sitting at the table.

“You must be Thor" He nodded. I have a photographic memory. I remember every detail of everything.”

“That sounds very useful and overwhelming.” His understanding and empathy took Nora by surprise. It was overwhelming and incredibly useful. There were some things she wished she could forget, yet instead they plagued her dreams. “And what are these professional abilities?” Thor was intrigued by this tiny human.

“I have some pretty stellar computer skills.” Before Thor could question Nora further Tony was interrupting.

“Uh hello??? I have some pretty decent computer skills myself.” Nora rolled her eyes at the exact same time Tony did and the resemblance between her and Tony couldn’t be ignored. It made Thor smile.

“Obviously you know your way around a computer. But you know full well that you can’t hack like I can.”

“She’s right Tony.” Fury finally spoke. “She hacked the Pentagon on a dare in High School.”

“You what?!” Steve was shocked and Nora stood there with a proud smile on her face. He wouldn’t have thought she would do something like that.

“Sorry Captain. Sometimes you just have to bend the rules. Especially when your sexist classmate thinks he’s superior because he has a teeny tiny appendage between his legs” Thor audibly laughed.

“Yeah that was pretty impressive. I’m still pretty proud you did that.” Tony finally conceded. “Fine. I’m not going to argue with you anymore but if you’re going to be on this mission you need something a little more protective than whatever this is that you’re wearing.” He pointed up and down her body. She was clad in a leather pencil skirt, a denim button down shirt and sky high leopard print heels. Her normally long curly hair was straightened and in a high ponytail with braids on the top of her head.

“Well I asked you to make me a suit.” Nora shot back. Thor watched on enjoying the verbal ping pong match. He liked the fire in Nora Stark.

“So you can put yourself in more danger? Yeah, not likely.” Nick Fury stood up to put an end to the bickering.

“Nora- I had some special Kevlar made for you. There’s a locker with your name on it. You can change when you're ready.”

“Thanks Uncle Nick.” Nora gave Tony a dirty look and went and sat down next to Thor. She was drawn to him for some reason. She couldn't explain it. "So tell me about Asgard and this brother of yours" Steve watched as Thor and Nora seemed to be in a bubble. He had her undivided attention. She laughed at the things he said that weren’t meant to be funny but were because of Thor’s lack of Earth knowledge. She would place her hand on his arm as they spoke. Neither of them seemed to pay much attention to the people around them. He had to force himself to pay attention to what Fury was saying. He was surprised at how jealous he felt. He barely knew her. And he didn’t ever expect to find anyone that stirred feelings in him. Not the way Peggy did. It wasn’t the same, Peggy was Peggy. But Nora somehow set off a spark inside him. The first real connection he made before coming out of the ice.

Nora sighed and sat down on the bench in the locker room. She wanted her own “Iron Man” suit. Tony refused. Nora had contemplated just hacking into his system for the plans, but she couldn’t break her Uncle’s trust like that. She didn’t want him doing this alone. Maybe now that Steve was out of the ice he wouldn’t have to. She was always afraid that when he left in that Iron Man suit he wouldn’t come back. She knew Pepper had the same fears. Nora and Tony both had lost so much. They had been betrayed by people they had loved too. He wasn’t her father. No one could ever take Grant Starks place in her heart, but the relationship she and Tony had was something beyond parent and child. They were connected by loss and pain. They were connected by their similarities. They had the same snark, the same attitude and the Stark swagger. The swagger that sometimes acted as a protective bubble. Tony was Nora’s protector. Even when he was missing he was still protecting her. He had always had a plan in place with Rhodey and Pepper to keep her safe and loved if something happened and he couldn’t. All Nora wanted to do was protect him as well.

She stood and opened up the locker with her name and smiled at what Nick had left her. It was an all black Kevlar suit that looked like leather. It had straps across her hips and boots that went over her knees. There were a number of holsters to hold weapons or technological items. She wasn’t sure where Nick had found it, but it was perfect. It held her body like a glove. She was curvy but strong. She has never been skinny. Her body wasn’t built to be that small. She had accepted her flaws a long time ago and learned how to use them to her advantage.

She headed out of the locker room with plans to head back to the lab. Her eyes caught the door that she knew Loki was behind and she just couldn’t help herself. Her credentials allowed her to enter the room. There he stood. The God of Mischief in a round glass cage.

“Hello Loki.” He snapped his head up and studied her.

“The Dróttning av Gimsteinn” Loki’s voice was almost breathless. He hadn’t been expecting to see her and the words had poured from his mouth before he could stop them.

“What did you just say?” Nora stopped in her tracks and stared him down. Loki’s eyes bore into Nora’s and he didn’t respond. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough I suppose” Loki acted as uninterested in her as he possibly could. I’m reality he was buzzing on the inside. He thought it would be more difficult to get eyes on her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. She took a step towards him and stopped.

“I’m not going to let you goad me into a reaction. When you get bored of this and want to tell me where the tesseract is, let me know. If I find it before you tell me, I can’t help you.” Before Loki could respond, she was gone. Loki smiled to himself. She was feisty. She liked to spar. This was going to be more fun than he originally thought.

Nora was wracking her brain trying to figure out what Loki called her as she was heading back. She didn’t even know what language it was. She was about to pull her phone out and try to search for what she thought he had said when she stumbled upon Steve trying to pry a set of doors open. Captain America breaking and entering? This was surprising. She crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the wall.

“Need some help Captain?” She smiled with a suggestive voice as Steve jumped. He turned and faced Nora sheepishly with red cheeks. He had on hand on the back of his neck and looked impossibly adorable.

“I was…I uh…” He was embarrassed for getting caught but what really had him stuttering was Nora. No one should look that good in Kevlar. He silently chastised himself for behaving like a 13 year old. Nora shook her head and without a word pushed herself off of the wall and approached the door Steve was trying to bust open. She pressed her palm to the lock pad. It read her palm print and prompted for the 2nd security key. “Stark, Nora Margaret”. Steve froze. Was Peggy apart of her life? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she was related to Howard Stark and her middle name was Peggy. Howard and Peggy has founded Sheild together. He wondered if Peggy had any sort of relationship with Nora’s father. He wanted to ask her about it, but it wasn’t the right time. Nora motioned him inside.

“After you.” Nora followed him into the room and the door shut behind him. “Mind telling me what we’re doing in here? What are you looking for?”

“I’m honestly not sure. Your Uncle is trying to get all of Sheild’s files as we speak. He seems to think Fury is hiding something.”

“Oh what a jack ass. He’s trying to hack in on his own instead of asking me. He’s trying to prove he doesn’t need me. I could have had those files in 5 minutes, 10 tops. Plus I have access to a lot of shit around here. Sheild is my family birth right. My father would have taken Howard’s place.”

“Wait- so you agree with Tony? You think he’s hiding something?”

“Don’t be so naive Captain. Of course he’s hiding something. He’s a super spy. His secrets have secrets!” Steve laughed. “What’s funny?”

“Your Uncle literally said the same thing. Word for word.” Nora’s eyes shone with pride. “Are you going to help me look?”

She threw her arms up in a shrug. “Kind of hard to help when I have zero clue what to look for. And how do you know I’m not in on it?”

“Call it a gut instinct.” Nora liked to banter and Steve was feeling brave. He was still feeling a little green after seeing her with Thor. Now was his chance to see if she was as just flirty or interested in him. He was a God. A good looking one at that. And while he felt like an idiot worrying about it when they had more important things to focus on, he had to know. “So you’re done flirting with Thor? You two seemed to hit it off right away.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t flirting! Why? Are you jealous?” Nora sauntered over to where Steve was leaning over a crate. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. “Believe me Captain, if I’m flirting, you’ll know it.”

Nora’s breath was hot on his neck and it sent a chill down his spine. He was about to respond but his attention was pulled to the container in front of him. Steve opened a container. “I think I found what we’re looking for.” Steve watched as Nora pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dammit.” The disappointment was radiating from her voice. “Sometimes, it’s really hard to separate the spy, the head of Shield, from the man that helped me become who I am today. The person my father revered. I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry Nora.” Steve put his hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do this Steve.”

“No, but I know that feeling. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling it now.” Nora gave Steve a small smile.

“Thank you. God this is all so messed up. Let’s go to the lab. I’d like to talk to Nick and I need to ask Thor some questions about his brother.” Steve picked up the container and the two of them headed back to her Uncle and Dr. Banner.

Nora could heat heated voices as she and Steve approached the lab. So heated that they didn’t even notice the two of them enter in the middle of Bruce’s sentence.

“…When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.” Nora could tell he was trying to control his temper. Tony picked up where Bruce left off. The two of them were a team already.

“And you’ll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase Two?” Tony wanted answers. Nora knew that look in his eye.

Nora jumped as Steve slammed the case down on the counter. “ Phase Two is SHIELD used the Cube to make weapons.” Steve answered for Fury and then directed himself towards Tony. “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.”

Nora gave Tony a dirty look. “I literally could have gotten it within 10 minutes tops. Stop trying to prove that you don’t need me.”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we’re-“ Before Fury could finish Tony flipped the screen to reveal a plan for a missile. Nora pit her face in her hands. This was only going to get worse.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Nora clenched her jaw. She didn’t know what to say to calm the waters because she was just as angry as the rest of them. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Natasha and Thor came into the lab.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?” Bruce laughed in Natasha’s face.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Nora ignored their verbal ping pong as she went over to the monitor to check on the Tesseract. She paused and eyed Loki’s staff curiously. When she focused back on the group Fury was explaining why Sheild wanted to create these weapons.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly- hilariously, out-gunned.” Nora was going to tell Nick he was right but that he should have been upfront but Thor interjected before she had the chance.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And, you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Fury shot back quickly. Nora couldn’t focus on what they were saying anymore. Her attention was drawn back to Loki’s staff like it was pulling her in. Bits and pieces of the argument would break through. She couldn’t focus on who was saying what as her head started to pound and the sceptor started to glow..

“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“ I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-“

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”

“I thought humans were more evolved than this.”

“I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...”

Nora felt more dizzy and tried to focus on Steve’s voice, though she wished she hadn’t. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” Why was Steve attacking her Uncle? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Nora felt too woozy to feel any anger at that point.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He was wrong. He didn’t know what Tony Stark was about. He put on a front but he was a hero. He took the world on his shoulders. Nora remembered Tony destroying all of the weapons sold to our enemies. She wanted to scream at Rogers but her head hurt too badly to speak. Tony’s voice cut through the pain.

“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”

“Steve, Tony- Stop” Nora begged. Her voice wasn’t loud enough for them to hear her. She was sure it was Loki’s scepter causing them to act like this. It was what messed with Barton’s head. Loki had wanted it to be here, to cause this dissension. Finally Bruce’s yelling caused everything to stop.

“IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KILL ME. BUT YOU CAN’T, I KNOW, I TRIED!” He stopped and saw that everyone is staring at him and he continued. “I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Oh Bruce...” Nora could feel his pain and anger, how broken he felt. He was holding the scepter while Fury and Natasha hand their hands on their guns. Nora was white as a sheet.

“Please Bruce. That thing is making you all act like this. Please put it down. No one is going to cage you, I promise..”

“Nora?” Tony’s voice was full of worry. She looked sick. She had barely said a word during the argument. She normally would tell Tony if he was being an ass or defend him if he was right. Steve took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Bruce.

“Doctor Banner, put down the scepter.” Banner looked down, surprised to see the spear in his hand. Suddenly the monitor made a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located. Bruce put the scepter back on the table and walked over to the screen on the other side of the room. Nora walked over to the table and lightly touched the scepter, knowing it was the source of her pain. She just didn’t know why. She yanked her hand back and turned towards her Uncle.

Suddenly Tony turned to leave but Steve put his arm out to stop him. “You’re not going alone Stark!” Tony smacked Steve’s hand away.

“You gonna stop me?” Nora groaned. Taking steps towards the two men.

“Put on the suit, let’s find out!

“ I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Will the two of you stop acting like children?!” Nora was pleading with them. Then she heard Banner yelling and then an explosion. Nora flew into Steve, he grabbed her by the waist as he and Tony fell near the entry way. Steve turned her so she would fall on him instead of the floor protecting her head and neck. The next thing she knew Steve was pulling her along with Tony.

[rainbowdoom32]

So I'm going to start identifying myself as aspec. Previously I identified as a bisexual aromantic but upon furthur consideration I might be asexual.

I'm posting about this b/c 1) it puts it out there and makes the lable feel more real and tangible

2) I know some of y'all IRL or on a personal enough basis that I feel you should know

3) A queers need more visibilty in gen

4) cause I want to talk abouy it

So Idk how to do a read more and am on mobile so if you dont want to hear about what being aspec means to me start scrolling now

So. In the aspec community (do we have a better word?) theres an overwhelming discourse about sexual and romantic repulsion. For those of you who dont know thats when the idea of sex , sexual content, sex itself, the idea of romance, romantic gestures, and/or romantic content acts as a squick for you it creates some spectrum of a revulsion in you to be confronted with one or more of these things. Its an overwhelming discourse for many reasons but the one I want to talk about is that it makes it obvious that your ace or aro if your repulsed by sex or romance. The process for discovering your aspec identity is easier in a way, specifically in a way it isnt for me.

See I dont experience sexual or romantic repulsion. I like romance stories and porn. I actively seek these things out. I'm not put off by discussions of others romantic or sexual lives (specific aspects may repulse me but in general I'm interested in these especially when coming from people I care about). So naturally as a teenager I never considered myself as aspec. i considered myself bisexual almost immediatly (there was a thing where I thought I was tricking myself into thinking I liked women to be included in the queer community. More on that later) it took two very short very middle school esque (one took place my sophmore year) relationships and an accidental internet encounter with the concept of aromantisim for me to realise that the reason this wasnt working for me was because I didnt really want it.

The more I thought of myself as aro the more things made sense. At the slumber parties as a kid I never had a crush to confess. Those two failed relationshios? Guy friends I'd gotten real close to and thought my new stronger friendship feelings must be what romantic attraction feels like. Also the real sticker, I dont get jealousy in romance at all. Like that one goes over my head. I dont understand why cheating is the worst thing someone can do in a relationship to the point that people who've been sucked into a cycle of abuse and have become convinced everything is their fault will snap when they discover they were cheated on. That is absolutly mind boggling for me.

The point of that is I never got that ew ick romance feeling. As a reult the road to discovering I was aromantic was long and and full of doubt. Doubt that went along the lines of "Maybe I just havent found the right person". Which also happens to be the exact thing my mum says to me everytime I try to explain that Im aromantic to her. Bisexuality she understands and accepts. This she doesnt. So even though I know intellectually theres no right person for me that niggling doubt remains andit haunts me.

Now im going to devolve a bit here and I know what this sounds like but im seriously not trying to be offensive just explain something

See I read a fanfic recently. I dont remeber how I found it but it was a Stony fic and the story and the set up were very romantic cliche. Basically Steve was Tony's booty call it evolves to friends with benefits Steve falls in love. Textbook stuff. But see theres a wrench because the author identifies as aromantic is with the definition we have aromantic. They write their identity onto Tony. Thats something we do in fanfic and in writing. But the problem I ran into is this: the author identifies as aromantic because they experience romantic repulsion(yes they told me this) so in the fic Tony is in love with Steve but experiences romantic repulsion. The idea of romance of romantic commitment makes him anxious and sick. This is how the author feels FWB allows them to experience intimacy without triggering their repulsion. Identifying as atomantic makes them feel not broken. This so good right? This is why we have labels

Except. When I read this part of the story it hurt me. Directly. See Tong Stark has Daddy Issues. Ehen the author wrote about Tony's romantic repulsion narritevly they tied it into Tony's not nice childhood. I dont know specifically why it wasnt part of thwir explanation when I told them their story hurt me. I didnt ask. But this narritive decision made what was essentially was an author expressing their experience as an aromantic in a story feel like a personal attack against my aromantic identity.

See when I read that what I read was "Tony Stark cant commit to an actual relationship with Steve Rogers because Howard Starks Grade A parenting fucked up his ability to recieve expressions of love and his ability to commit. Tony Stark is in romantic love with Steve Rogers but his childhood trauma prevents him from expresing it in the traditional manner this is what being aromantic is"

That hurt. Because it hit that little doubt in my head about not having met the "right person" and mixed it up with some childhood trauma made you a broken person. It also hit me while I felt safe. Romance stories are my escapism. Their like an extra element of fantasy in a story for me. I specifically seek out romantic stories as a comforting mechanism. Fanfics in particular because of their inclusivity. I was in my safe space, and I was whammed in a sore spot.

The problem is though the author has a right to that story and that label and to express themselves. We usually draw the line at self expression where it hurts other people but thats not what happened here. What happened here was definitial confusion. The author and I were using "aromantic" to describe two different but similar romantic orientations. In doing so we hurt each other ironically in the same way. We both said to each other "Your identity is wrong and toxic you hurt people and yourself by expressing it the way you do". (I left a comment saying how her story affected me)

When I say I'm aromantic I mean I experience no romantic feelings. None nada zilch. The idea that I might one day experience a type of romantic feeling is an aggression against me. The same way the idea that gay people can choose to be straight is an aggression against being gay.

But I can't invalidate someone else to protect myself. What do I do? I dont want to hurt myself and I dont want to hurt other people? Idk

And now to why I no longer identify as bisexual.

I'm a virgin. Because most peoples first time is with someone their in a romantic relationship with. And we'll I dont do that. Im also a socially anxious person. I have no idea how to instogate a sexual encounter and honeslty I wouldnt feel comftorable dping it with someone I couldnt trust or alternatively someone I'm friends with and would have to continue being juat friends with in post we had sex awkwardness. So ive never had an opportunity to have sex.

But I also havent sought them out. And I dont feel particularly driven to. These are reasons to think your asexual but I'm sure it's also the experience of many introverted and secually awkawrd people. And it's not like I couldnt have sex at some future point. Even now if an opportunity arose I might say yes, of only to confirm my asexuality.

The thing that has made me actually consider if I'm ace tho is a weird quirk of mine. I cant get off to prom videos. I use lit erotica. Why? Cause the idea that those are real live people puts me off. Porn stars and amateur porn makers know people get off watching their videos. Theyre okay with that. But I'm not. At all. Thats a big ol nope for me.

See I'm a ciswoman. Which means I have a clitoris. An organ whose only purpose is to provide pleasure. As everyone knows reciving pleasure via the clit requires no participation by a second person. The fact that my clitiros functions as intended and that I use it isnt sexual attraction.

Thats a new idea for me. But it's true isnt it? Sexual attraction is about other people. And sure I can appreciate other people's hotness. But just because I think a horse is pretty doesnt mean I want to fuck it. Remeber that thing about thinking I was faking bisexuality?? I was right. I wasnt sexually attracted to women. But what I hadnt bothered to consider because of heteronormativity was that I wasnt sexually attracted to men either.

Other fun fact in case you might be an ace person who's read this far (why? Also hi Katie and possibly Sadie but definelty Nishat. No im not implying any of you are ace) I dont have sex dreams. But I do have dreams in which I masturbate. So stick that jn your pipe and smoke it.

Anyways these are all experinces that I have that I feel neccessry to share to make it so the repulsion story isnt the only one out there. And also to start a discourse about how experiencing and not experiencing repulsion affect aspec experience. Thanks for reading!

[heckdt]

bits of Faxs i’ve collected on nakano

(theyre all from my sleep-deprived brain, so i might have to edit later)

nakano sleeps w the ac at like…. 18 C (on my trip to spain, i slept with it at 16 C and lemme tell you, it gets fucking COLD)

nagai fills in nakano one to one after their debriefing Talks (i just found this out recently, it was in the anime, nagai said smth like “i’ll fill you in later nakano”) MAIN POINT: nakano is not good at focusing (in group situations?)

nakano worked at a construction site (D:)

nakano. has. boobs.

nakano will call out nagai when he’s contradicting himself (& its funny each time)

nakano cant make an ibm (& i cant seem to find out Why..but i have somewhat of a game theory on it)

nakano is a puppy! (completely canon)

nakano uses ‘ore’ (俺) and its so cute to me idk im stupid

NAKANO EATS A LOT.,,

nakano does the hard pushups..implying 1 of 2 things: either he doesnt know how to do a real pushup OR he knows & is challenging himself to get stronger.

❗️NAKANO ISNT THE TYPE TO WEAR HIS TIE PROPERLY❗️

nakano either: forgot that nagai poisoned him OR evidently trusts him to not poison his food again

actually, nakano trusts nagai….. to quite an Extent….. weird👀..

nakano dropped out of school (year/age unknown; but i like to think around middle school/junior high years??)

nakano knows how to drive w/o a drivers liscense/learners permit

nakano is good at getting along w/ other ppl! he’s ppl friendly!

he doesnt know complicated kanji/words & usually asks the meaning//nakano isn’t really good w/ grammar and probably has a low reading level

nakano has. neglectful parents :(((

[blondesupes]

HIPHOP UNIT BEFORE-DURING-AFTER AN EXAM

okay so my finals are coming up and thought heyyyyyy why not do this shit with svt yeyyyy okay im annoying as hell but please welcome me to carat tumblrverse i only wanna make friends anyways

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

reviews till last minute HELP HIM

‘shUT THE FUCK UP CHILDREN IM TRYING TO MEMORIZE HERE’

brings all his notes on exam day

will definitely cheat at some point

hides his notes under his ring dont ask me how but trust me it works ive tried it before

y’all see q&a cheol yep thats pretty accurate

‘this paper looks tasty maybe i should just eat it’

‘holy mother of god whOSE IDEA WAS IT TO COMBINE LETTERS AND NUMBERS HELP’

bites the eraser end of his pencil 70% of the time

confused look on the entire test

sAVE HIM PLS

checks his notes immediately after taking the test

‘hOLY SHIT I GOT 3 ANSWERS RIGHT’

but,,,,,,guess what

he actually passes the exam

barely

but he will

how’d he do it whO KNOWS

JEON WONWOO

silently reads his notes

doesnt join his friends for studying

he cant focus if there are people

taunts soonyoung before the exam

like,,,,

‘wow soonyooung are you actually studying stop it have mercy on your brain’

‘stUDY AS HARD AS YOU WANT SOONYOUNG YOU'RE STILL DUMB ANYWAYS’

but guess what

he lets SOONYOUNG COPY HIS ANSWERS BCOS THAT'S REAL FRIENDSHIP RIGHT THERE

gloats about it though

‘wOW SOONYOUNG WOULD YOU HAVE ANSWERS IF YOU DIDN'T COPY MINE??? YES YES YOU WOULD BUT THEYD BE ALL WRON-”

“SHUT THE FUCKUP ALREADY JEON!”

passes the test duh

KIM MINGYU

god of reviewing

srSLY THE BEST NOTES OUT THERE

colorcoded, sticky notes, alphabetical order etc etc ORGANIZATION IS REAL

helps his friends out during group study sessions

WILL NOT CHEAT

aces the test remember how he was 1st in his grade while being a trainee and debut preparations his teachers adore him jesus i love this golden boy

trIPLE CHECKS HIS PAPER

fites yall when you discuss your answers after the test

“IT WAS 17.8 DUMBASSES USE UR GODDAMN HEAD”

pls give cheol hosh vernon and chan some of your brain cells plS

maximum of three mistakes

STUDYING GOD KIM MINGYU

CHOI VERNON

HELP HIM

tries his best

but studying isnt really his forte ya know

give him arts and music and english

but GDI MATH SCIENCE HISTORY PLEASE NO

okaymaybe a little bit of history but ugh

type of student who will work hard for his parents

like,,,,his parents are his main motivation

“i gotta do it for mom and dad theyre paying for my education”

quietly studying, quietly answering, quietly suffering

doesnt really cheat himself but

will let chan copy his answers

he’s sitting in front of seungcheol SAVE HIM

“psst vernonie whats number 17 hELP”

“its 38 hyung but idk tbh”

lifts his paper a lot ya know that thing when you tryna arrange your papers and you like bounce(?) them against the table where they look like theyre standing on your table????? ye like that idk how to call that

so seungcheol can see his answers

i guess this is how seungcheol passes bless vernon

passes the exams

gets some high scores but not mingyu and junhui level high

proudly shows them to his parents promising to work harder in the future cUTIE

[quecksilver]

Figure Skating Tarot Reading: Mai Mihara

I've been pretty busy but I'm back with the card reading for Mai Mihara. Watching her at DOI i felt the need to do this... and then i just kind of couldn't do anything for a while. Sorry about that. Thanks for those people who asked abt the next tarot reading. Here it (finally) is.

As previously said, next up will be Nathan Chen. Then the randomizer chose Evgenia Medvedeva next.

Again,I see Tarot more as a guidance tool than a tool to tell the future. I usually read for friends and during the reading, talk the cards through with them so they arrive at their own conclusions.

Obviously, none of the skaters have asked me to do this or were present during the readings, as such it is only a basic reading of the cards i draw for each skater. I simply did a readingwhile asking myself the question „How will the olympic season go for [skater]?“ and let the cards answer.

The cards don't care what I personally wish for a skater... so don't blame me.

I use the Deviant Moon Deck with the moon spread, in which i arrange the cards in a circle and read from the left side, counterclockwise. Each card represents a different aspect. You can look at the cards yourself HERE

So here is Mai Miharas reading

Present Day:

Upright Ace of Cups

The Ace of cups depicts an angel, cradling a golde cup to their chest. Theyre smiling as the moonlight flows into the cup.

In its upright position this card stands for giving and receiving love. It stands for a warm spirit who knows that what they're receiving is precious and will cherish it and give love back.

Past Influences

Reversed Hanged Man

The Hanged man hangs from one leg. He doesn't seem to care that time is passing by. On his foot hangs a clock.

The Reversed Hanged Man stands for a lack of progress. There seems to be no way out of the situation and there seems to be no real progress to better the situation. It may also stand for a lack of focus and for feeling ovewhelmed and lightheaded.

Subconscious Influences

Reversed Tower

Disaster strikes as the tower is hit by lightning. People are jumping to their death to escape or are left lying on the ground.

The tower stands for a big disaster. In its reversed position, however, it stands for the inability to let go of a disaster that has happened in the past. It stands for walking on well-known paths and not branching out out of fear. The inability to face what has happened freezes the person in their spot.

Secret Desires and Wishes

Reversed Six of Wands

A grand figure emerges from a cocoon, celebrated by people that lift their wands in their honor. The figure is holding a lit wand themselves, ready to light the way.

In its reversed position the Six of Wands stands for effort that go to waste or a delay. Rather than bad results, results could be better with a little more work. As this is in Secret Desires and Wishes I'd go with the delay interpretation. Maybe there's something the person isn't ready to change just yet.

Hidden Forces

Upright Seven Of Pentacles

A woman is admiring the progress of the tree she has cared for. It bears fruits now as seven pentacles hang from its branches.

The Upright Seven of Pentacles stands for growth, particularly, slow but steady growth and growth of skills. The person has the ability to wait as long hard labor bears fruits later. As a hidden force i'd possibly see the patience and preservance the person has shown.

Events yet to come

ReversedTwo of Pentacles

A belly dancer balances two pentacles in the moonlight as they dance. They are dressed in showy clothes but only practicing for themselves.

The Two of Pentacles stands for perfection and balance. Unfortuntaly, it's reversed here.

In its reversed meaning there is no balance. The person has too much on their plate and can't mantain a balance anymore. Some priorities may be misplaced and overall the person is too stressed and may topple over.

Surrounding Environment

Upright Six of Swords

The Six of Swords depicts a person leaving a burning place behind, flying in a balloon with their weapons. They're headed to a better place.

As the card depicts, this card also represents a journey to a better place from one that is less desirable. It may also represent leaving a mindset behind or choosing not to listen to people that hold you back. As this is the Surrounding Enviroment card I think the last reading is most likely.

Influence of Others

Reversed Five of Pentacles

A woman makes her way through the city at night. As she leaves the grey industrial city behind her she comes upon a red church. The church is looking back at her.

This card signifies a lost soul. As it is reversed, however, it stands for an improved outlook, better times that are coming and especially success in the professional part of their life. I'm not sure how to interpret this card in the Influence of Other position. A possibility could be surrounding people making sure there are more chances for succes coming up.

Spiritual Forces

Reversed Nine of Swords

An old woman sits in her bed, plagued by nightmares and worries she can't sleep.

The Nine of Swords stands for anxiety and misery. It's reversed here, however, pointing to a better outcome, positivity and trust in oneself. It may also stand for better health. There may still be lingering anxiety but overall there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Final Outcome

Reversed King of Wands

The King of Wands guides the children through the deep wood with a light. The children cling his coattails.

The King of Wands respresents a father figure, an authorative figure. The card is reversed meaning it stands for a strict and cruel parent. It also stands for intolerance. Since I'm not sure who the father figure could be in this reading I'll go with the reading i previously used and interpret the strict and cruel parent to be the public/crowd, meaning the final outcume might be a displeased public/crowd.

Interpretation:

A lot of Mais cards (like almost all of them) point to leaving a painful memory in the past and going forward with renewed enthusiasm. It's really not hard at all to interpret this as last season was her breakout season after a long illness. The cards point to that still being in the back of her head now but she will be able to leave it behind and skate, free of it.

As the fear to branch out stems from this and is later overcome, it points to trying something new which I think her new programs are. There seems to be a stressful period ahead and there will be voices of people who do not believe in her but also those who want to make success possible for her, possibly her team, family, friends etc.

After a lot of positive cards there's the final outcome of someone important to Mai disapproving. I interpret this to be the crowd/public. It's not said, however, that this has a huge impact on Mai as all of the cards for her directly point to a better mindset and outlook. I sure hope that's the case, though, as i said, i'm overall not sure how to interpret the last card i drew for her...

[roadkillfuneral]

if connor never found the letter

No Letter AU a.k.a. connor and Evan were set up to be a perfect gay love story

-The story is the same up until the moment after Connor signs Evan’s cast. He doesn’t find the letter and leaves the computer room, already forgetting the nervous boy he just encountered

-Evan goes home and his mom sees Connor’s name on his cast bigger than life itself and invites him over for dinner. Connor never has a chance to even think about his previous plans that night

-As soon as Heidi leaves them alone they begin bonding over overbearing mothers and, soon after, shared disdain towards their fathers, and they’re attached to each other before they even realize

-Sometimes due to Evan’s mother, but more on their own, the two start to hang out. They goof around, talk about books they like and Connor shows Evan loud music and Evan shows Connor… support.

-At some point Evan notices the marks on Connor’s arms and asks about them, completely innocently. Connor lashes out of course, defensive as all get out because it’s not Evan’s business, it’s not anyone’s business, he doesn’t have to talk about it with anyone, it doesn’t matter he’s fine

-And Evan drops it because he’s confused but also because he wants to respect Connor’s wishes

-Connor sees that and not too much time later, he finds himself confiding in Evan, telling him about them, what he’s done, how long he’d been clean, but it doesn’t really matter, he’s fine. And Evan, touched, tells how he’d broke his arm. The real story.

-And then there’s a moment where they both have never felt less alone.

it doesnt end there though

-the friendship progresses pretty much perfectly. Connor’s parents love polite little Evan, and Heidi, at first, is just glad that Evan has a friend, but then she sees some of her lost teenage self in Connor and finds that Connor is actually a funny kid???

-Heidi and Connor totally playfully gang up on Evan “sh hon the grownups are talking” they sip their tea in unison  omg give me heidi and connor cute friendship

-By now Evan is coming to Connor’s house whenever Connor isn’t at his and his crush on Zoe is ever persistent. And one day he makes a fool of himself, trips or chokes and eventually Connor is just like dude. what’s going on.

-so Evan comes clean, all blushy and dumb and gushing, but apologizing all the while because she’s your sister I’m sorry but gosh have you seen her smile? sorry but wow

-then Connor feels it. the tug in his chest and the burning of emotions he thinks are gone, thinks he couldn’t possibly feel anymore

-Connor has always known. He was lucky to grow up in this generation where he sees men holding hands on the sidewalks and it’s been a couple years since gay marriage was legalized. He knows this and he’s long since accepted it, though he’s never been with anyone cos everyone fucking sucks have you met people? they’re gross

-But Evan. He’s sweet and understands Connor and when he laughs- not that awkward laugh, but a real laugh that’s hard and deep- Connor’s heart stammers.

-he feels it even before that moment but he only begins to really comprehend his feelings when he’s jealous

-He manages to ignore it until one day when he asks Evan if he wants to smoke weed with him

-Evan trusts Connor fully and he’s curious and Connor always seems so laid back when he does it

-So he agrees, even if he’s a little skeptical 

-He’s an anxious mess at first and coughs his lungs up and Connor has to light the pipe for him because Evan’s hands are shaking so bad and Connor was just planning on giving him a few hits, making him chill, but Evan takes a few too many drags and he is stoned

-At first Evan is just giggling and rambling and fluttering his hands and he seems fine and Connor thinks its fine so he smokes a little more, feels a little lighter, a little more high

-To this day he doesn’t know who started it. All he remembers is touching Evan’s hands and Evan touching his hair and counting Evan’s eyelashes and then they were kissing 

-Connor has kissed a couple people before, usually pecks and things like that, and he assumed Evan has never kissed anyone before but it feels perfect, it feels like finally

-They’re pretty much making out by the time Evan pulls away, his eyes wide and scared and no longer high. Connor wants to kiss him again but he looks so scared. It’s a silent moment before Evan runs out silently  

-Evan knows he’s not gay. Connor knows he is. Connor knows what he wants. Evan does not. 

-he knows that he’s been admiring Connor, sure. He likes how tall he is and his black nail polish and how when he’s angry (even though he’s almost always angry) his eyebrows pucker but his bad moods make him look likes hes glowing when he smiles or laughs and…. that doesn’t make him gay, does it?

-So naturally he goes to his mother. 

-And he’s like so. asking for a friend. what should you do if your friend of the same sex kisses you (even though he thinks he might have initiated it) and you kinda like it and might wanna do it more

-Heidi freaks out she’s all oh you and connor would be so cute oh what a sweet boy your cousin lindy can flower girl at the wedding 

-Connor is all mom no for a friend

-Heidi smiles and agrees to play along, tells Evan, all wise and mom-like, that if he really likes Connor then he needs to tell him and see how Connor feels and talk out where they should go from there. 

-Evan is scared to death. He likes Connor so much (in what way he doesnt know) and he’s pretty much his only friend and he’s so scared of ruining this but he goes anyways 

-There’s a lot of stuttering and flushing on Evan’s part and mumbling and avoiding gazes on Connor’s part but they both admit to the feelings they have that are definitely not Straight and by the time theyre done they’re kissing again, simultaneously relishing in the fact that it feels much better sober and knowing where they stand 

bonus content

-connor’s long noodle ass limbs getting in the way of everything. when they cuddle its a jumble of connor’s ligaments and evan in a ball watching as his beanpole of a boyfriend tries to adjust 

-oh and cuddling? these two are a fucking mess

-it starts off the most awkward thing ever as i said connor can’t adjust himself and evan doesnt know where to put his hands but they are both very touch starved but they dont give up they keep trying and eventually connor knows just how to curl himself around evan so he can kiss his forehead and whisper in his ear and evan still can touch connor’s hair and snuggle his face into his tiddies chest 

-connor denies that he likes it even a little bit even though he’s the one that initiated it, the nerd

-possessive connor. bruh. 

-once he gets evan he refuses to let him go. if he sees alana even look at evan for too long he feels the need to take that moment to grab his hand (if he isn’t already holding it) or to kiss him or grab his ass whatever connor is possessive but pretty harmlessly. he knows evan likes him and only him but still. 

-evan can also get jealous at times, though his is much more lowkey. if someone flirts with connor he wont speak up, but he’ll feel the need to tell connor how much he likes him and cherishes him. connor understands. 

-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

-stop that ‘evan makes connor stop smoking’ bullshit. im here for evan becoming a borderline stoner because it helps with the anxiety. he might evan smoke more than connor. maybe he likes edibles more but im totally here for connor and evan shotgunning because homies share hits

-speaking of evan’s anxiety

-connor is annoyed with it at first tbh. evan’s nervousness and awkwardness grates on him but then he’s okay with it and then he finds it cute and then he loves him for it

-who says i love you first? ohoho boy

-i have way too many headcanons for this but my favorite is that they’re hanging out, probably smoking, def telling jokes and swapping little kisses and they’re laughing and evan just kinda says it

-connor’s mother doesn’t even tell him she loves him that much anymore. she kinda gave up when he started taking out his anger on everyone including her and when evan says it, connor stutters it back, but he says it, and dives down to kiss evan again but honestly no kiss could convey how happy he feels. evan says it many more times that night. 

-zoe doesn’t get it tbh

-first this anxious weirdo comes into her house and is looking at her weirdly and then he’s looking at her brother and her brother is looking back and she hears laughing coming from connor’s room it’s weird but hey at least he isn’t acting crazy anymore

-then one night she hears a car come up the driveway at like 11 at night and she goes to her window to see who in fresh hell it is, forgetting that connor has gone to evan’s for the afternoon

-she sees the two get out of the car and go to the door. they chat a little bit and connor is smiling and their faces are weirdly close and they stop and evan leans up on his toes and oh my god they’re making out on the porch

-she never mentions it but there’s at least a week or more where she can’t look at connor 

-if im being honest i see evan being ace but if he weren’t/still copulates with connor, im here for power bottom connor

-someone that wasn’t me mentioned evan still letting cynthia pay for his college but only if she gets connor therapy and i love it and i love evan getting connor to therapy and i love him getting therapy gwahh

i havent got anything else but um this au kills me daily hope u like it adios

[mellamella]

venting (pls dont read if you dont have the mental capacity too it’s a lot)

so,, i, as an asian pal, already have to deal with a lot of racist comments and at one point i was just so i used to it i started doing it too?? like someone’d be like “lol do you eat dogs” and i’d be like “yeah and yours is goin on my grill next” and it wasnt? good??? i’m now working to s t o p just letting people get away with it but even if i tell people “hey don’t fucking say that you chalkboard” they’ll either brush it off and not apologize or say sorry halfheartedly and continue doing it.

now take in account of “already have to deal with a lot of racist comments” because here comes the second part. i’m?? i don’t even know what i am. i have a thing for my best friend but at one point, like a year ago i think?? also liked her boyfriend?? but i know for a fact that sex is a no-no, i’m already aware that i’m quite sex-repulsed ace. and then there’s the problem of me really wanting to dress more androgynously. like not even “i dont want to be my gender assigned at birth” literally just “hand over the fuckboy haircut and chest binder or i’ll kick your desk over” and like?? my parents are NOT here for it. 

speaking of which said parents have tried to tell me that 1) none of my friends actually care about me and are just using me for personal gain and i shouldnt trust anyone. 2) if i dont get my grades up theyll homeschool me and ill never be allowed outside again. 3) theyre always right and im not allowed to have an opinion. 4) speaking of being allowed outside im already not and when i am allowed out its only for an hour a day and i cant go too far or else ill get in trouble

and a bunch of my teachers have justified it??,, especially the not being allowed out for more then an hour because apparently my mother being raised differently justifies trying to isolate me from the real world?? but then they always complain about how “oh our neighborhood isnt ghetto stop saying it is!! its perfectly safe!!!” (side note i literally live in philly near center city youre trying to tell ME this isnt ghetto?) but then they wont let me out?? like is it ghetto or is it perfectly safe or are you scared i’ll meed someone who’ll open up my eyes to how bad you guys are because someone already did that their name is myself. and all my friends too but myself

and im about to contradict myself here but my neighborhood really is safe, the only reason i complain about it being ghetto is because the areas around it really are. like you dont need to drive 20 minutes to get to the bad part of the city. that and because i want my parents to admit it’s safe

but here’s the problem. if it’s so safe, and my parents also believe that it’s safe, why am i still not allowed out? they claim it’s “my bad grades” but i had perfectly fine grades last year and they still didn’t let me go anywhere. 

honestly life just sucks right now and i’ve drawn on my tongue with markers and eaten white out hoping it’ll genuinely stop my heart from pumping blood and disguised that all as jokes to prove i’m “not a pussy”

im at a really bad spot right now and it doesnt help that i feel literally not a care in the world for anyone or anything and all my schoolwork is piling up and im failing and its getting bad. i want to do the homework i’m missing, i want to try and be a better person, but without any reasons i can see to continue i just dont want to.

[watersuncharted]

thank you god. you helped me through EVERYTHING. and i honestly am giving you my life and so much more. I don't know why you made me this way or why you're letting me do this to myself or why you're letting me play this role. i don't know why you haven't let me make friends yet, or why you haven't let me feel completely at home. i don't know why you let me into this web. GOD I NEED DISCERNMENT. I NEED YOUR DISCERNMENT. I NEED IT AND I NEED IT NOW. seriously if this is going south, then i need to know now. i need to know why you’re allowing this, and why you're letting this happen to me. i need you to be my eyes and hears. i need you to live through me and from me and have me solely emanate you.

i can't play he said she said. i can't do this for my life anymore. why do people i care so much about do this. why does bluejay do this. i don't know why we weren't close i don't know why i can never be enough. I'm so fucking sad. 

why can't i ever measure up? i try the hardest i can, i am there for everyone, i am REAL with everyone. why can’t i see my flaws? God literally I'm so confused. i love my parents i love my family but i hate them all at once. i can't breathe I'm genuinely DROWNING without water. i feel so alone. where are the friends that are supposed to be my lifelong ones? its been over a month since i came here and i have no one. i have a meeting tomorrow and its 4:30am and i can't beiieve I'm doing this right now.

i have AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW AND A PRENIGHT TONIGHT my GOD i need you SO MUCH RIGHT NOW 

either way God I'm here and I'm in this position and i don't know why but i am and i need your grace to get me through this. you are all perfect and powerful and I am so sad. i love it here, i have so much freedom. i just hate it here because i don't have fun i don't have friends I DONT FIT IN this isn't me this isn't who i am 

i don't know what I'm going to be or do or who I'm going to love in the next four years or even if there will be four years but it literally feels like this month has been the last 4 years of my life and I'm still here and so alone and sad and i genuinely hate myself. i hate myself for loving people who lie to me and loving people who don't love me back and opening myself to people who don't give a fuck about what I'm going through. 

i dont understand why he's like this, slashing and burning everything. i don't understand why theres a conspiracy--who said what and who should i believe? i want to believe that they are both telling the truth. but i can't. i can't one person has to be lying to me. this morning i would say it was her, but right now i am questioning the fire. and why does it all matter in the end? Jesus shut his mouth and give her peace. thank you. 

i need you tomorrow to wake up early and on time and ready to go. i need you to give me rest tonight. i need you to help me study, and comprehend CS. you have been nothing less than the amazing God you are by helping me ace my math and my econ midterms. i don't know how this happened, especially during all of this, but you are honestly AMAZING God. and i owe everything to you. i genuinely think that i could never do this. 

i need your provision. i need to meet the right group of friends, and if this is it i need to know i need a sign i need something to make me feel at home because i feel less than at home outside of my bed.

i dont know why I'm the way i am. i don't know why I'm like this. i don't know, but you know. you know why i care too much. you know why i cry myself to sleep every night. i am literally going through every day as the motions. when have i experienced true joy?

i always say i want a boy, but like i don't have the time or energy to really have one. i just want someone. i need people to fill the voids i have. its weird because i know Jesus is there, but you know how thats different than what you want. i want physical touch. i miss hugs. i miss laughter. i haven't laughed in so long.

no one can believe me when i say that i have no friends. but i really have none. it happens sometimes i think i know i said that wherever you place me it is for your glory--where does that come in? cause right now i can't reach anyone. i don't know how to reach the person living in the same room as me. i don't have people asking me to defend my faith because i don't have anyone to question me. 

i have no one. i have mk and tweap and i don't know why theyre in my life either. why is m&m still here too? i seriously don't know. i have a ton of work tomorrow. i need you 110% +. i don't know what to do. i don't know.

I'm trusting you.

xx